#Wondering what theyd say to him now after all that happened to him

[druidonity2]

2021 Mawduin fanart: Haunted by visions of the past, but their words are just your voice echoed back to you.

[itsalwaysdark]

i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

[broke-on-books]

I just ran out of tags... give me a second

I've been seeing posts about Scooby Doo popping up, so I thought I'd share this:

(Source: The Scots Magazine, Feb 2023) Full text below.

This actually happened. I am obsessed!

The passion! The energy!

Amazing!

Such signage!

(Images: Daily Record)

A brilliant effort all round! The children of Scotland saved a pop culture powerhouse the world would be poorer without. I can't believe this. I love this so much.

Text of the article:

FROM THE VAULT

Strange tales from the archives. This month – How furious fans of cancelled cartoon rose up in protest.

By CHRIS Ferguson, Jan 12, 2023 (The Scots Magazine)

THROUGHOUT the ages, principled protest has been a hallmark of youth – a rite of passage for many. Today it is Greta Thunberg and her army of teen climate activists, or Extinction Rebellion protesters, who make headlines.

In the 1960s it was the Vietnam War objectors and Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament believers who set out their political agendas.

In later decades young people swelled the ranks of those demanding an end to apartheid in South Africa.

They were at the barricades as then-pm Margaret Thatcher introduced the poll tax and back out again to try to stop the 2003 invasion of Iraq.

Another generation, too, had the courage of its convictions. In 1971, youngsters rose in anger at a threat to remove cowardly canine Scooby-doo from their television screens.

This was in February after the cartoon had been running for two years. Although the decision not to commission another series had been taken in the US, the BBC was the target of fans’ fury because it had to pass on the bad news to young viewers.

Within days of the announcement, an army of parka-wearing children sporting knitted jumpers and questionable hairstyles was formed.

Across Scotland children grouped together with placards, just like so many other worthy protesters before them. In Glasgow, the massed kids marched on the BBC Scotland headquarters and, in Dundee, they gathered in outrage in City Square.

Petitions were raised and demonstrations took place across the country and, by April, the BBC announced a further series had been commissioned in the US.

Legend has it these Scots Scooby fans had persuaded the American television executives to reconsider.

Hanna-barbera, the animation company behind Scooby-doo, never forgot the Scottish reaction.

A spokesman for the company said, “We’d never had a response like that before, it was very exciting.”

Beneath the main text of the article is an illustration of Scooby Doo and the gang accompanied by the pull quote: “An army of parka-wearing children was formed”

The title and byline of the article are also accompanied by a black and white photo of a boy in school uniform sitting with a little black dog in his lap, grinning and holding a sign reading "We've saved Scooby Doo" with an illustration of Scooby. The caption reads: Jimmy Brown fought to save the cartoon."]

[inamagicalhallucination]

i need someone to write a fic exploring dazai’s inability to come in terms with the fact that *gaSP* people love and care for him and also how he would react (atsushi in particular, my son)

because as much as i love him fainting and/or staring wide eyed

imagine dazai not understanding why atsushi is constantly trying to help him/be there for him etc

and at first its like well atsushi is just the kind of person to do that like he’s atsushi

but the more it happens the more he cant understand it

because dazai’s smart but he’s never been able to get why people could/would genuinely want him around and care for him

and he starts feeling defensive, trying to find a reason - why would someone like atsushi care about someone like dazai

and he’d lash out telling atsushi that atsushi is only using dazai to prove to himself that he deserves to live because of his childhood not because he cares about dazai 

imagine the angst of atsushi hearing that from one of the people he considers his family

because atsushi’s issues have issues - yes - but the agency are the first people who he loves and is loved by 

and yes atsushi does have the need to save people to prove that he’s worth living, dont get me wrong

but this one time - with the person who was the first person to show him kindness, he’s just trying to be there for him, like family 

imagine the the angst

imagine atsushi’s spiral into wondering how he’d fucked up - that little voice in the back of his head wondering if all that he was and all that he did was just a reaction to his childhood - who would he be if he hadn’t been abused - and did dazai only view atsushi for the things that he’d gone through

imagine dazai’s guilt, the split second after he says it and atsushi’s face crumbles

imagine dazai not understanding still that atsushi cares for him but knowing that he’d fucked up

imagine the awkward air between them because atsushi wont approach dazai, not when he’s convinced he’s fucked up so badly 

and dazai doesn’t know how to apologize nor does he really realize how much he cares for atsushi until then - because the fear of atsushi hating him has stirred up 

because that’s what dazai does, he takes good people, rips them apart and ruins them

and now he thinks hes permanently ruined his relationship-he-cannot-identity with atsushi

(obviously this whole thing would be fixed if they sat down and talked it out and maybe not fixed completely but theyd get a better understanding of each other but this is dazai and atsushi)

anyway atsushi thinks he’s awful and is and will only be his past and that he’s overstepped and dazai hates him - dazai thinks that he’s not human he’s only been tricking everyone ; including atsushi and that him snapping at atsushi proves it and he still doesn’t realize that atsushi genuinely just really likes him and thinks that he’s tricked atsushi into doing so and also now they aren’t talking and dazai doesn’t know how to apologize

[nicofics]

kith and kin

chapter 3: habromania

father figure! daryl x reader

summary:after staying at the camp for a few weeks, a new man comes into the picture

notes: FINALLY ANOTHER PART DONE!! im gonna be so fr im not arsed to get the whole description of what happened in the show but i hope you like this chapter!!!!!

safia had been at the camp for about 3 weeks now, she had gotten pretty close to carl and sophia. the three of them often playing together or learning together. about two days ago daryl had gone on a hunting trip, she wanted to go but daryl thought that she’d be a nuisance. the day after that a few people went into atlanta to scavenge for anything really. a few people started to worry, safia didn’t though, she knew theyd all make it back.

once the group finally arrived back (after a LONG few days of the group worrying) safia waited for merle, she had grown fond of the dixon brothers, even though merle could be an ass. but he never showed, she turned around, sitting down on a log by the campfire until she heard morales mention a new guy, she faced the group, wondering who it was. once the sheriff appeared she understood who he was, based on carl and loris reaction. she was shocked, she was told he was dead.

while everyone was sat by the campfire eating, she sat beside dale, he cared about her for some reason. she listened to them all talk about what happened to merle, she kept thinking, ‘what’s daryl going to do when he finds out?’ “i’ll tell him” carls dad said, “i’m the reason merles up there so i’ll tell daryl” she knew daryl wouldn’t take it well at all but alas she couldn’t do anything, so she just went to bed

when she woke up that morning she got out of her tent and looked around, daryl didn’t come back during the night. safia sighed, sitting next to carl and sophia they talked about the new guy, was his name rick? eventually there was shouting over in the woods, the three children turned their heads towards the noise as a few people ran towards the noise. once they came back daryl was with them, she stood up, ready to say hello but rick spoke first. telling him about merle. daryl was not happy, demanding that they go back and find him, rick agreed. safia wasn’t happy that they were going out again but what could she do?

[py6oto]

more hlvrai x yume nikki au stuff!!!

this post is gonna have a lot more text than my usual posts. so sorry if you don't want that.

so people seemed to really like my idea (which is really unexpected !! i didn't expect it to gain any attention at all!!! but its also super awesome and im so glad they do!!) so ive been brainstorming a little bit.

heads up i know yume nikki is a very ambiguous game but im pretty new to it so if i happen to get any established information wrong please let me know !? ty !!

anyways. before we do the effects. please take some sprites.

(body horror ((multiple eyes, messed up limbs, gunshot sounds)) under the cut!!! pls stay safe !!! ) (also a huge lore dump. sorry!)

id think this au takes place in a universe where the resonance cascade was real (aka not a game or simulation) and it'd be like, maybe a few months after it. gordon is traumatized as hell and it haunts his subconscious to the point he feels the need to isolate himself completely. he relives his trauma through eerily consistent dream worlds and then dies on a random tuesday. credits roll. audience cheers. wonderful story.

the vision for the sprites is that tommy functions as a "friendly" npc (like monoko and the other girl i forget the name of please forgive me) and benrey functions as poniko, uboa being "xenrey" or essentially messed up alien benrey (the weird...white...blood....world...room...uboa takes you to when you interact with it is simply replaced by xen. that's it. benreys house is a direct gateway to that time gordon fought god and won and isn't that amazing.)

i might remake the "uboa" sprite in the future because i don't really like it right now. im very new to pixel art and imitating YMNK's style is a little hard.

i like to think this imaginary game would have the teensiest tiny bit of dialogue, only when interacting with benrey. when you interact with his "regular" form, he says "you're not supposed to be here." and repeats it every time you interact, not saying anything else.

i know one of the biggest things that makes yume nikki stand out is its lack of dialogue, but listen, i think it would work well!!! seeing as this is the only time a character actually talks to gordon through understandable dialogue (unless i come up with something else!! haha) i think it would be confusing and throw players off because it breaks the pattern of being either ignored or silently acknowledged. someone talking directly to you after hours of isolation is confusing and unpredictable. which is what benrey is. confusing as hell!

im not sure what function tommy would offer, if any, i kinda want him to maybe give gordon an effect (soda effect could work?)

i dont think he'd bring any jumpscares or intentionally unsettling things to the table. seeing as he was the only one by gordon's side when the rest of the team proved itself to be a threat, i think it's logical he'd remember tommy in a warmer light than the others- which is reflected in how instead of unsettling or ignoring gordom, dream tommy simply smiles and gives him the ability to drink a soda any time. soda effect.

does this soda effect make you see faster like tommy said?

as much as i'd love to, no. probably not. because i have no idea what the hell seeing faster means.

maybe you can get a caffeine overdose. if you spam 1 enough times you will get very fast for as long as the soda effect is on. like the bycicle effect, but better, because you can taste it!

but no, it won't help you see faster. i don't know how to translate that sentence into understandable english.

now, coomer and bubby!!!! i apologize very deeply for i have not made sprites for them yet. i promise i will!!! it's just very late today and if i draw anything else i will actually just pass out.

im not very sure what i want for them yet. i think theyd be similar to tommy, but they'd have different functions. maybe they all give gordon different effects. or maybe they scare him! i dunno, i feel like there'd be a certain level of distrust from gordon to the old guys, like, of course he doesn't hate them but itd be hard to remember them super kindly and harmlessly when one of them ruthlessly tried to murder you with 300 clones of himself and the other tricked you into an ambush that cost you your arm, as much as you love them.

also!!! i completely forgot gordon lost an arm when i made his sprite. oops. it's okay its just a very realistic prosthetic

anyways. this post is getting too long so i think I'll save the boomer talk for when i actually post their sprites. its time for EFFECTS !!

i haven't been able to come up with many words yet. but i have some effects and a slight idea of how gordon would earn them.

concept art is beautiful

from left to right (because my handwriting is absolutely hideous!)

SODA - earned by interacting with TOMMY. wherever tommy is??? i dunno! pressing 1 will make gordon drink the soda and earn a temporary speed boost.

CAR??? - part of me really wants to rename this one but it's so funny to me i want to keep it. it's just a car. he literally just whips out a car and starts driving. what a legend. this effect lets him get across water areas faster (even faster than the soda!)

LONG HAIR - literally just gives him long hair. there is no practical use for this. nothing will happen. it just gives him long hair. isnt he beautiful.

ARM - earned by interacting with a dismembered arm found... somewhere.... probably some dark room. you know that effect where madotsuki literally just becomes a head? yeah. this is that but it's an arm because of course it is. this is an opportunity and i will not give it up. there is no use for this either. it just makes him a slow sad lonely arm.

MINIGUN - found by interacting with a certain object in POTION !! WORLD !! YEAHHH!! DARNOLD REFERENCE !!! pressing 1 will let you shoot the hell out of your enemies and make them pay for their sins

SWEET VOICE - found by interacting with any of the orbs in COLOR WORLD. 1 will allow gordon to song a beautiful, colorful song that will soothe any npcs he might have angered and make them stop trying to murder him.

POWERLEGS - MAYBE given by coomer npc? idk! this is all brainstorming and a work in progress! 1 makes gordon jump real high, allowing him to reach otherwise unaccessible areas

GHOST - ghost. he's a ghost. he's transparent. he flies. 1 makes him do a little ooooo noise and all the npcs run away from him because the place is haunted. ghost.

GLASSES - literally just pick up some glasses from the floor. putting them on will uncover a few hidden details across the map that may be necessary for progress ... like a very small and specific set of stairs

SMALL - makes gordon very small. i thought the original effect was super fun so i just kept it unchanged. small gordon. he can clone himself and make a gordon army. small. im thinking he finds it thru a coomer clone that is abnormally small. he interacts. small effect. small!

SHORT HAIR - literally just short hair. gordon can't seem to pick a haircut!

UMBRELLA - ...umbrella. makes it rain. shelters gordon from the rain at the same time. can be used for the same purpose it has in yume nikki which is putting out fires or stopping pre-existing rain.

there's supposed to be more effects and i still need to plan all the worlds and hidden rooms but ........ maybe when the sun is out and i have slept and i can think better !!! let me know whatever suggestions or ideas you guys have. i love hearing them a lot ^_^ thank you if you read all of this!! i promise hlvrai animations are not over this is just an au that has temporarily taken over its okay my content is not changing to yume nikki hlvrai only

gordon no

2023.07.27

[sankttealeaf]

3,10,13,19 for the end of year asks :)

hehehe thank u >:3 answering these end of year fanfic asks!

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

answered that here! but also i'm going to share more >:)

this little piece from "turn to the altar of lust" is always in my head just because its such fun imagery.

He once thought she was sent from Bhaal for him to corrupt and twist into his own desires, a weapon he can use at his own will but now Gortash realises it’s her that’s corrupting him. She digs her nails into his arms and he allows her to carve and mark him as much as she wants. Her hair falls against the altar, circling her head like a halo and he thinks himself lucky for being able to please such a divine being as herself.

10. shortest wip of the year

there's a wip i had intended on finishing up for gortoween but then i went a different route! it involved gale and gortash meeting up after the latter had succeeded in the absolute plans. something something gortash wanted to improve the steel watch, rue (who he offered to spare her & her friends lives if she came back to him) suggested that gale might know something and here we are.

it wouldve been a fun character study for both of them because i love the gale/gortash parallels. maybe theyd kiss idk probably not.

Gale had figured very early on that he had been kept alive for a reason. What reason - he has no idea, but as each day passes on and the guards bring him food and water at set times he begins to wonder what he’s here for. It happened quickly. He was on his way to flee back to Waterdeep, far away from the elder brain in hopes of severing that connection early on when he was ambushed by masked figures. The next thing he knew he woke up in a cell, wrists bound with rope made from the Sussur trees found in the Underdark. If he’s kept track correctly, Gale thinks it’s almost been five days since his capture. And yet one thing strikes him as odd. He’s yet to see whoever is behind all this. Normally threats are made to one's life rather quickly after the initial capture but there’s nothing. All he knows from his assumptions is that he’s still in Baldur’s Gate.

maybe i'll do something with this idea!

13. favorite writing song/artist/album of this year

oooo i want to say "i'm your man" by mitski purely because its such a ruetash coded song to me

i have a playlist that i mainly used for writing up chapters for let sleeping dogs lie so this would be on repeat while i'm writing. all the songs on there link to rue and gort and the events of the fic in someway (and then shameless plug of my other rue/gortash playlist)

19. any new fics to start next year

answered that here!

[thosesillylittlegayghosts]

FINALE THOUGHTS

DO NOT START IT WITH THEM CRYING HOW AM I MEANT TO DEAL

well there goes my one last night theory

Just because it’s over doesn’t mean its really over and if I think it over maybe-

Actually just kill me off it would hurt less HIS VOICE

NOT THE FISH FUCK OFF

they’re bestie goals i adore them also im sorry but the song being called perfect movie scene and them two looking like they’re in a rom com (from far away) will actually be the death of me

Fuck she’s wearing purple again and he’s wearing beige

SIMON PLS I WANT TO WRAP YOU IN A BLANKET YOU DESERVE SOME COMFORT

damn okay Sara admitting Simon’s right??? NO don’t call yourself stupid you’re finally getting the recognition you deserve

Them having their lesson outside is so real it’s my favourite thing about summer

AHHHH I WAS SO RIGHT THEYRE CLOSING HILLERSKA

SEVERAL WARNINGS

Vincent fuck off fuck off fuck off. Nils please defend him

NO THEYRE GONNA BLAME FELICE AND WILHELM

NOT NILS AND WILHELM YELLING AT EACH OTHER YOU GET ALONG

not August crying

Omg omg he just pulled a Queen Kristina he did what she did is this foreshadowing cause now he’s having a mental breakdown???

Stella and Fredricka get together whilst comforting each other??

Nah I actually love the third years having a group hug that’s amazing

And Henry and Walter talking to their parents (?) but still being together it’s so cute to see all their little favourites

Oh it’s so gonna end at the end of term, hillerskas closing and Simon’s moving away so they’re having like one last day together all of them

Wilhelm you’re killing me here

Has his room changed? I swear he used to have one window

NOT KRIS

NEON PARTY NEON PARTY

Not Vincent and nils calling him out

VINCENT YOURE ACTUALLY TALKING SOME SENSE FOR ONCE

okay so Augusts gonna back out and then Wille can threaten to do whatever he wants

AHHH TALK TO HIM THROUGH THE BOOKCASE WILLE GO ON

noooo they’re both returning crisis

HES WEARING PURPLE

HENRY FUCK OFF

NOOOO HE WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING

okay maybe my one night theory wasn’t entirely off…

Not the housemaster doing shots with them??? No wonder the schools getting shut down

Yes Wilhelm Felice besties era again!!!

LOVE OF MY LIFE AHH

no he thinks he’s gonna kill his mum

HOW DID SHE HIDE A WHOLE BOTTLE OF WINE??

PARTY PRINCE RETURN OF THR PARTY PRINCE TITLE

not her hiding the wine Felice I love you

I love all these people so much man

Alexa play closure by Henry Moodie

HE DID THE THING THE THING WITH THE GRASS

REVOLUTION?!?!!

ERIK WOULD HAVE LOVED YOU NO MATTER WHAT

theyre near tears so im near tears

PLEASE SARA YOURE MEANT TO BE IN LOVE WITH HIM WHAT DO YOU MEAN STRONGER FEELINGS

they’re bestie goals and couple goals and I’ve never really shipped them but honestly I could be convinced-this all happening where they first became friends is just too much

Stella I had hopes for you man

NILS YOU HAVE….??? I seriously thought he was gonna say I have feelings for you

AH HE CAME OUT AND THEYRE ACTUALLY SUPPORTIVE AND ACTUALLY ACTING LIKE FRIENDS I LOVE IT

God he’s so in love HA REJECTED AT LEAST HE APOLOGISED

military service he’s doing military service now?

I CALLED THIS WEEKS AGO THAT THEYD GET BACK TOGETHER THEN SHED REJECT HIM BUT THE LAST EPISODE TRICKED ME

I LOVE YOU ITLL PASS FUCK OFF WHY ARE YOU BRINGING UP THAT TRAUMA RN?!

ONE LAST NIGHT TOGETHER I WAS SO RIGHT

OMG THE LAKE SCENE NOT THE LAKE SCENE

NOT IT TAKES A FOOL TO REMAIN SCENE THE CYCLICAL STRUCTURE IS HURTING ME

NO THIS HURTS SO MUCH MORE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD

HOW CAN IT JUST BE OVER NAH THIS IS MY CAUSE OF DEATH

STEDRIKA GOT TOGETHER AND FELICE IS JUST SMILING I LOVE HER

Them showing Henry and Walter right after Stella and Fredricka get together means they’re also canon actually

REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID EVERYONE WAS FAKE??? REMEMBER WHEN YOU SAID YOU COULD BE FREE I HOPE YOU GET THERE. It’s not looking good for the endgame guys

WE WERE A REVOLUTION?! IT SHOULDNT BE A REVOLUTION TO LOVE EACH OTHER???

He’s gonna do something OMG OMG WHAT DOES THAT MEAN HE THREW IT AWAY DOES HE MEAN HES DONE WITH THE CROWN?! WILL I HAVE TO EAT MY WORDS AND WATCH HIM ABDICATE?!

Queen redemption arc???

Say no say no say-damn at least maybe now he’ll get support??

What is it with frogs and this royal family??

Goodbye Simon MY HEART MAN COME ON

I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE SUMMER YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT I CANNOT EVEN IM ACTUALLY NEVER GONNA RECOVER FROM THIS

Girls trip!!!

AHHH HES SO GONNA ABDICATE

but August might…

AHHHH WILHELM I LOVE YOU IVE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER TO BE WRONG

NAH ITS A ROMCOM HE PULLED A LOVE ACTUALLY IM NEVER RECOVERING FROM THIS

AHHHHH

FOR HIS OWN SAKE IM SO PROUD

NOT THE FLASHBACKS IM GONNA CRY

THE FINAL LOOK I CALLED IT

[b0ard1ngsch00l]

(boss crush anon) thanks :D i'll start with context, im 28 and hes 48..funnily enough i had a dream recently where i was back in high school and he was my teacher LOL, thought that was relevant. ive had this crush for a few months now and have been writing about every little interaction i have with him. one of your posts that rly spoke to me was "i want to mean something to him", bc girl no joke ive written that exact sentiment about him before. every time i talk to him feels special, i get a legit high thinking about seeing him every day. hes so painfully handsome and nice to me, sometimes when he sees me his whole face just lights up and he gives me this HUGE smile. hes also the only person i work with who calls me by a shortened version of my name <3 one of my other coworkers even noticed that he did that and i was like 0///0 yeah he has a nickname for me so what?

there was an after-work happy hour that i went to once, i brought a friend and asked her to watch how he acted around me bc he can be hard for me to read sometimes, i cant see his behavior objectively when i have so much wishful thinking going on lol. she told me later that when we walked in, he made a beeline straight for me right away, and seemed sorta shy when talking to me. she asked how i was doing at my job (i was new at the time) and he said something like "shes awesome! every day that shes here is a great day!" and my face mustve been beet red..he kept showing up in our conversations with other people and standing near me, something ive noticed he does a lot in group situations. just recently, we had an premiere with lots of people and since i was on the clock i was standing by myself in the back of the room, watching in case someone needed anything. fr he comes over and stands RIGHT next to me. there was no one else around that area, he chose to stand right beside me while we watched the premiere.

he was out of the office for a whole week once (work related reasons) and i angsted so hard..not seeing him on weekends is bad enough but this was like 10 days and i was going feral. we followed each other on instagram after that happy hour and during that week he was gone he randomly liked one of my posts late at night. i have to wonder if he was missing me too..the next day he came by my work area to ask "whats new?", like he just wanted to catch up after being away which i thought was sweet. yesterday he was teasing me about hiding some of our work halloween decorations in my car to scare me (cute lol), today he was showing me how to tape a package with a confusing tape dispenser and our hands brushed multiple times while handing the tape back and forth, and god only knows whatll happen tomorrow!!

hes so wonderful and i rly want to know more about him, i want to be around him constantly and any time i get with him is instant dopamine. hes intoxicating and i feel selfish wishing he'd break a million rules for me (boss/employee relations, 20 year age gap, and yeah you guessed it hes also married) but i just cant help myself......im not planning on making a move bc i love my job too much to risk getting fired for that, but if HE did you know id reciprocate in an instant. but im glad to just know him even if things remain the same as they are forever, as much as i wish theyd escalate. THANK YOU for letting me get this all out of my system, theres even more i could say but this is long enough lol. have an amazing day, G <333333333

This was very enjoyable to read thank you! The way you both are seems sooo cute! I’m so glad you can relate to me <33 I so get you, and everything you’re feeling yk. It’s hard being obsessed with middle aged men who deep down you know you can’t have😭 but also there’s no other feeling like it and it’s kinda the best! Any time you need to rant about him I’d love to hear!💕

[drpeppertummy]

it's not just a want but a NEED. a lusty, dusty desire I have for Dark Sunny Lore

You Sicko . The Dark Sunny Lore [warning for illness death suicide self harm child abuse/neglect etc]

his dad never wanted him bc he only wanted 3 kids & sunny was an accidental #4. was always very open about not wanting him bc hes a shitty old bitch

additionally sunny was sick all the time & frequently in the hospital (asthma + other respiratory ailments) & dad was resentful bc he never wanted this sick kid taking up all his time & money

his mom was super loving & wonderful but she died when he was like 12. she died from some kind of respiratory situation & the question of Was It His Fault And Will It Kill Him Too is always in the back of his mind

not long after mom died his dad tried to passively let him die too by refusing to take him to the hospital when he was really sick. his sister giuliana finally took him after coming home from school one day & seeing how awful he looked

was good about being in the hospital as a kid & was always like the nurses little darling bc he was such a sweetie but now has a medical phobia bc in his brain its associated with all that misery & pain & fear

outside of his home life pretty much everyone always liked him & he always had a lot of friends & was popular etc but nothing ever made up for the damage his dad did to him mentally

he knows people like him on a superficial level bc he knows hes cute & charismatic on a superficial level but hes scared that if people get close to him theyll realize hes just annoying & hate him

secretly terrified that his friends hate him & are just tolerating him

prone to bouts of depression, often spirals into a terrible mental state if he stays up late. Night Brain hits hard esp when its mixed with rsd

when he was in college he tried to kill himself by taking a bunch of random medications with a bunch of vodka & it made him sick & knocked him out for a while but miraculously didnt kill him

he woke up in the same spot he left himself in & realized nobody found him or noticed & therefore nobody could care. wanted to tell someone so bad bc he Needed somebody to care & hug him & say they were glad he was alive but he was scared to bc he thought theyd get mad at him or think he was too much or not care since he was "fine" so he just peeled himself off the floor took a shower & went to class like nothing happened. his professor scolded him for coming in hungover

(he eventually told gray about it years later & gray held him & gave him that years-awaited love & care & it was like a soul-healing moment for him)

(gray knows more about him than anybody & he worries about him a lot & sunny feels bad for worrying him but he also appreciates that grays always there for him)

as a kid he would bite himself a lot if he was upset/frustrated/overstimulated & he still does sometimes but only when hes alone. its almost like a reflex & if anyone saw hed be mortified

once in a while tho he like actually cuts himself. if someone asks what happened he gives some absurd excuse like "i got mauled by a bear" & refuses to elaborate bc hes scared & ashamed

hes trying to get better but he almost certainly will attempt suicide again someday. he wont succeed but he Will be so so terrified that his friends are gonna be mad at him for it when he comes to (spoiler: they wont be mad at him)

apart from gray his friends dont know the extent of his mental health problems bc he tries to keep it to himself bc he doesnt wanna worry them & bc hes ashamed & afraid they wont want him anymore. the most they really see of it is him being moody sometimes

once in a while somebody will see him break down over something & they know his dad sucks & they know he misses his mom & they can piece together that hes gotta be hurting but hes usually so bouncy & bubbly & cheery that they dont realize how bad it is

[callibones]

new episode of doctor who (Boom!) was almost AMAZING. it was easily my favorite episode of the new season. it was almost a FANTASTIC return to form that i almost THOROUGHLY loved from start to finish!!!!

i just wish theyd stuck the landing. like. Come On....

my favorite episodes are the scary ones. shoutouts to midnight, my Favorite Episode Ever, which i went to go rewatch in a dark room after watching Boom!, for being the like. equivalent of what this episode could've been if it had stuck the landing. because both of them have a LOT of similarities, right?

(spoilers ahead!)

like. one location. almost entirely performance-based, with the doctor doing a lotta the heavy lifting. the doctor's bff DNI. the doctor is in danger and Really Sells It Well with acting. deadly environment ravaged by capitalism. it practically begs comparison! but i'm going to assess Boom! on its own merits in a minute, 'cause i don't like thinking about what things Could've Been. it coulda been anything. but it was this! i'm mainly gonna bring up midnight to talk about the endings of both episodes, cause i think there's something interesting to say there.

first: boom! is BRILLIANT as a suspenseful episode. it had me gripping the table and holding my breath and getting So scared. and its big Twist that there's No Real War was brilliantly foreshadowed and a SUPER COOL REVEAL. i love when the doctor's whimsy gets fractured by their utter disgust for war, and that comes through in Full Force here. ncuti gatwa has been so extremely excellent in every performance he's done, and here he's just Perfect. he plays the fear and the burying of emotions and the disgust and the spite so wonderfully, and he's completely believable the whole time.

so i loved that. and i loved how genuinely gross it is to have a corporate ai reconstruction of a dead guy explain how the corporation valiantly did all they could! that was really well done and i loved the Thoughts & Prayers robots a lot. not just cause i love robots too!!!!

so we had a wonderful and incisive episode that did some really interesting things and had a really scary premise, and then all of a sudden a magic wand gets waved and all the scary and bad things go away. and that's where i soured, because, like... c'mon, man. again, ncuti gatwa plays this excellently, but the writing here is like. Oh look! the AI brought down the Extremely Massive Corporation That's Been Causing Wars offscreen and it's gone now and everything's ok! :-] and the AI is back to being the real guy and everything's all good now.

my opinion's that i like it Much better when the doctor doesn't just like. Instantly solve problems. one of the big reasons the russell t davies era is so beloved is its respect for side characters. at least that's what hbomberguy said. the side characters here are excellent and well done, but they don't get to influence anything! sure, the AI takes down the corporation, but we don't get to understand what that looks like or means or how it happens or how it affects him. he just Goes And Does That.

i like when the doctor has a smaller situation to address, resolves that, and gives people the will to fight on. because he literally NAMES capitalism as the issue in this episode. he scoffs at it and is disgusted by it and horrified by the war economy.

and then instead of giving the audience any hope that You Can Fight Back, a magic ai takes down the corporation. we never get to feel like the corporation is even People. it's naturalized as this Evil Profit-Maximizing Thing, and unlike many of the better capitalism-tackling episodes or just. like. ugly human action tackling episodes, we don't get to feel like the big corporation is something People Chose To Do.

in midnight, we don't get to see the resort fall apart. we hear that they'll PROBABLY move. will they? who knows? but we get something much more chilling that makes me deeply sick to my stomach, and that reflects all of the people in the room and how they're complicit.

when the hostess gives her life, the doctor turns to everyone and asks them: what was her name?

nobody knows. she was just a hostess. this world was just a resort to them. ALL of them were complicit.

that episode doesn't end on a pretty note. it ends on the doctor being genuinely scarred by what had just happened, looking deeply upset and asking donna not to joke about it. which is to say: we don't need a pretty bow on everything! i want to be inspired to care. and also get to walk outta the episode holding onto some of that REALLY WELL DONE fear.

i hope Boom! isn't the darkest this new season gets, because it was PERFECT when it was dark. and then someone reached over and yanked open the window and so much light streamed in that i couldn't see The Point.

[lightlycareless]

IM BACK i got so busy right around when the last chapter was posted but im HERE NOW. and ive been reading so much,, all the lore from chapter 36 was SO GOOD im so sad im late to it but ohhhhhmygod. so much going on there and setting up REALLY good parallels between y/n and naoya when it comes to their relationships w their parents. the way both of them had their mother slowly get more and more distant due to circumstances outside of their control/caused by some fucked up third party... ough... this also reveals so much DRAMA like WHO CURSED Y/N'S MOTHER?? im throwing hands. and thats such a fucked up TYPE of curse too the way it fucks with the personality/behavior-- someone REALLY hated her huh

but ohmygodmyGOD chapter 37 has SO MUCH going on. like just starting off with matsuo being. insufferable. man. can a woman not get a drink in this house.

the entirety of this chapter is SO rich with so much emotion... like the way they're finally feeling like a couple is so sweet?? i KNEW naoya had it in him to be nice, even if it does take being on his death-bed for it to happen..

THE WEDDING RING HE CARRIES THE RING ON A NECKLACE W HIM AUAHUGHEHGH,,, i cant even begin to describe how emotional that made me the last section of the chapter where they're just talking to each other for once means SO much after having read the last 36 chapters of animosity and standoffishness like they're FINALLY talking and like. seeing each other? as people? its SUCH a pivotal moment and at the same time so small and domestic its amazing

AND HES GOING TO TRY TO LET HER SEE HER FAMILY AGAIN?? that opens up SO much drama and so many questions like-- is he going to stick to that when he recovers? CAN he stick to that or like he said is he not in a position to negotiate that much? (would he help her sneak out or sneak in a way for her to see them somehow if it came to that?) what kind of interaction would that even BE for her to see them again after so long-- would it lead to them not wanting to let her leave/go back to the zenin estate? theyd for sure know somethings up.. my favorite couple is finally coupling. 12/10. still obsessed w them

Hello!!!

Awww, don't worry about it!! Ngl I was a bit like, I wonder if they liked it, maybe I finally scared them away lol, my perfectionism slowly killing me inside 😭 But really, the most important thing here is that you're ok, and that you liked the chapters!! ❤️❤️❤️

I'm telling you, I didn't mean to make it that way but how Naoya and Y/N ended up being similar to one another is... wow, perfection. And ironic haha Y/N hates Naoya so, so much, that she literally can't see him as anything else but like complete opposites I mean, if you were to tell her "Hey, the two of you have similar backgrounds" she'd be like "ew no wtf!!!"

Which is why she was so baffled to learn that it's true 😭 they share the pain of having loss a mother, and in some ways, being disliked by their own family.

Also, for Minako's curse... I don't intend to explore more about it, so I'll just say it was someone very, very jealous of her and her children. Someone that just wanted to see the family burn, you know? (LOL, it makes it seem like Eiichi had some secret admirer or something. Or maybe her?! Like the yandere type "If I can't have you, no one can!!" Oof, I hope not on either accounts)

Now onto chapter 37 :>

The way Matsuo's behavior did a 180 was... I don't know what I was expecting, for it to not happen?? Let's be real, that man as soon as he got a bit of power decided to abuse it. Probably some resentment towards Y/N and her staff, how happy they are and the good relationship they have with her or whatever. Honestly, I do not care about that man. (I wonder what Naoya's reaction will be once he figures out how he's been treating her... HMMM)

I'm so glad you liked the fluffy parts with Naoya hahahahah even though as you said, it's when he's sick... oh, I just hope it doesn't all go away when he's not sick anymore, you know? GOD this whole thing hurts me so much for Y/N hahahah like she's trying so desperately to hold onto the fact that maybe this is the change she was unwittingly hoping for, that Naoya finally woke up from his stupidity and decided to act like a proper husband.

Because more than leaving the house, I think she, very, very deep inside, wants this whole thing to work. I mean, who wouldn't... she grew up in a loving family where her mom and dad loved each other very, very much. It's only natural that she wants something like that too if it ever happened! And Naoya... oof, he's handsome, rich, and she doesn't have to put herself in danger in order to make a living. At that point it was a win-win... until his personality came out 💀💀💀 Anyways, it's difficult, but I WILL MAKE IT WORK. I PROMISE.

Also, if you liked their interactions on this chapter, I think you're going to like the next one 😏 (Idk if it's worth anything, but I always thought Naoya would be like Kang Dooshik from Pearl Boy when he's not being a raging misogynist)

As for the promise... that is something we'll see next chapter as well. What's going to happen with it and whatnot. I'm like Y/N right now, a bit shocked that it happened, but on edge to see if it's true 😭 after all, it's a pretty heavy promise to make ... but that is something only Naoya can choose.

I just hope all the pieces are falling in place (correctly, I mean HAHAH) for that one chapter!!! I can't wait to write it, I think we're like... 2/3 chapters away from it. I swear, everything that will happen next is leading to that moment.

And I gotta say, thank you for being patient with me 🥺❤️ I swear, everything that is happening leads to that. EVERYTHING!!!! I just hope it pays off!!!! If not, I'll disappear from the internet. The shame of it all.... hahaha.

Anyways, thank you so so much for coming back for another update! And don't worry about reading the chapters later! My story is intended to be entertaining, relaxing (yeah sure, look at all that angst) so read it whenever you can ❤️❤️❤️

Once again, thank you so much for your support 🥺❤️ I hope you continue to like the rest of the story!! Take care, and see you soon!!

[catscalling]

For aware au, what happen if a human child stumbled upon a studio that is abandoned for many years and meet the puppets?

Oh theyd be delighted!!!

Wally, for one, would be a little scared at first I think… He hasnt seen many humans! I guess it mostly depends on the age of the kid. Say, a little one like… 10-13ish or under, hed be like… nervous a little, but realize this is but a small child and be so kind! And excited! The same way as he was in the show, when he talked to his neighbor (the viewer).

Poppy I think is very motherly, so she would try to make sure the child isn’t scared or weird! Teach them to be gentle with the old puppets, after so much time theyre very fragile… Barnaby would be similar. But hed wonder where the kids parents or caretaker are!! And how they got in! Frank might look for however they did, and try to see if he could get out or just have a breath of fresh air. See the grass. He knows they can’t really leave, theyre puppets in a human world, but oh hed be stoked to see how the world looks…

Now, Sally and Julie? Theyd play games with the child!! Hide and seek.. charades…

Hmm… Howdy would be nervous, yeah. You see, hes kind of the weakest out of everyone, because hes being eaten alive by bugs… does regular cloth dry rot? Itd be like that! Children can be very rough! But hed try to be nice, and I think Poppy would advise against the kid touching him much at all.

Eddie would see if they could do crafts of course! Hed talk to the kid and find out about their life… how they are, how they got there! Hes friendly and very curious!

[trashworldblog]

alr i have unfortunately not been able to stop thinking about puppet history and i came up with a possible explanation for ryan's "business" with the genie at the end of ep 6. so all we know from the ep is that ryan gets the lamp and uses at least 1 wish to get prof back. there's also the genie's line about doing business with ryan. im assuming for now that it means he used smth other than a wish to get prof back. but what could he have possibly offered the genie in that moment?

[im thinking that ryan offered the genie a chance to undo the wish IF ryan wins an episode of the show. we know from s4 that if the person with the lamp unwishes smth, the genie is able to take the wish away. now, why does it matter that it would come if ryan wins? ryan, according to the algorithm, has never officially won an episode. being 31 episodes into the show without a win, it would definitely seem like a statistical wonder if he won. also smth plot important usually happens when he wins

i think its going to backfire at the end though because has anything good ever happened when ryan has won. now, having no way of possibly knowing what will happen next season, this is all speculation. however, i think that bc prof and ryan are on good terms, ryan is going to win an ep (either the penultimate one or finale) and it's going to serve as the catalyst for the genie's return. i also think it will usher in the substitute's return

i think the genie and the sub are going to team up at the end because they'd benefit from helping each other. the genie hates prof and masterminded a whole deal just to get rid of him (yes i think he was the head of that deal and i could elaborate but not rn). hes def not happy about being forced to resurrect him on a technicality. and then the sub obv hates ryan and probably does even more so now after the finale. its a match made in hell and i think theyd team up to get rid of ryan and prof

oh shoot i think i may have forgotten to mention it (pls ignore this if i did) but literally, what could ryan have offered to the genie other than something bad happening if he won. he just fist fought a hologram that was trying to murder him, i doubt that he wouldve been able to come up with something that has literally no statistical possibilities. besides, wanting to win an ep got him into this whole mess in the first place, it would make sense if he didnt want to win anymore]

.

hii!! thanks so much for the ask! ive been thinking about the points you've made and i think i finally got my thoughts together so that they'll (hopefully) make sense.

ok! so! im not sure if ryan did have to offer something to the genie. in my understanding of genie lore (which is Very limited) i dont think that genies can outright refuse wishes. so i dont belive that ryan had to offer anything. HOWEVER! genies can interpret and mess around with the wish if they feel like it. unless ryan isnt aware of this, (which is possible) its possible ryan did offer something to convince the genie not to mess around with his wish. the problem is what does ryan have to offer? it could be as simple as if the genie needs a favor, ryan has to help out. I feel like that gives us the most options on where the lore takes us.

i honestly dont know if ryan is going to win in future seasons. my guess is that he wont lmao. listen! its a complex victory algorithm!! the professor probably doesnt have that much control over it!! (although i can see the professor saying that he balanced the victory algorithm and ryan still loses lmao) if ryan DOES win, it will absolutely backfire and it'l be hilarious.

GENIE AND SUB TEAM UP GENIE AND SUB TEAM UP!!! YES YES YES I LOVE IT!! they definitely can help eachother out and it would be incredible to see!! i can see ryan and the professor teaming up after the genie and sub team up! also if ryan has this secret deal with the genie, it would complicate this whole team up thing more becuase if ryan doesnt help thr genie the genie might be able to rekill the professor (or send him back in time, or to the wonderium arena).

i also think theres gonna have to be something that leads to getting the puppets out of the wodnerium arena. im not sure about that yet.

anyways, yeah! thats my thoughts on the direction the lore can be taking. we'll see what happens!

[bubblingstream]

been wanting to make another warriors blog for a while but i finally caved after writing up stuff about my new ocs and not knowing where to post it. im just copypasting this directly from an info dump i made so it's not extremely well organised LMAO but here are said OC ideas :]] im probably gonna spend quite a bit of time on this blog just building on them and drawing them tbh. that's the plan anyway

so imagine a cat becomes a medicine cat apprentice, and when they finally go to meet starclan at the moonpool instead of like.. awe, wonder, admiration etc. this idea of all powerful godly ancestors that can apparently predict fate and maybe even control it according to some cats, and watches them constantly.. fucking TERRIFIES this cat. like he is absolutely shitting his pants level afraid and he becomes gradually extremely paranoid about it all. he tries to keep doing the medicine cat stuff but eventually begs his leader to let him just become a warrior to try and get away from it as much as possible. and it helps but not.. a lot? hes still afraid and struggling.

it also turns out he's also had a pretty rough lot in life up til now, which doesnt help bc if these starclan cats control everything why has he suffered so much? what did he do to deserve it? bad things continues to happen and he questions it more and more. he feels like hes watched constantly and even like hes being punished for something he did, even though he doesnt know what his crime actually was. this makes things even worse.

at some point because of all this he runs off maybe? but he misses his family and clan and he also feels watched still no matter where he goes. and maybe something horrible happens to someone he cares for while hes gone and he blames himself for it because he left and thinks starclan decided to hurt his loved ones for it. so he becomes afraid to even leave the clans and doesnt attempt to run away again.

mind you, in the meantime starclan hasnt caused ANY of this. the things that happen are unfortunate coincidences. but he has no idea and after actually seeing what to clan cats basically counts as God Himself™️ hes a wreck. the books always show meeting starclan as a positive experience but i feel like it's something youd need at least some level of willpower for. youd need the right mindset. not just anyone can become a medicine cat and communicate with their ancestors. it's a big deal and some cats ,id think, just wouldnt be able to do it.

hes called whisperingstorm, he has a littermate called bubblingstream. his mother had other litters so he has many siblings but that's the one he knows best and grew up with. he also has an older brother maybe. dovesomething im thinking. bubbling has his own set of issues but im still figuring out how to make that work. another litter in his family is two more kits who are gonna have matching names, this serves to contrast bubbling and whispering who have conflicting names (they have rather different personalities but they also just. dont get along despite bubblings initial efforts to bond with whispering). bubbling as in excitable and upbeat, then when he grew up stream became his suffix bc hes actually rather.. not that basically. yknow how when ppl picture streams they see a calm, gentle stream that some would consider a relaxing visual? like that, as well as their family having a water/weather theme to their names. hes quiet and slow worded, not much to say. compare whispering, something quiet and soft, then when he got older his suffix became storm because of his explosive, high energy and honestly aggressive personality. so not only do they oppose each other in personality, their birth names themselves wouldve better suited them if theyd been swapped around as those are juxtapositions as well. whispering is loud and aggressive, bubbling is quiet and softspoken.

the reason whispering and bubbling dont get along is cause.. well, whispering is a prick, to be blunt. but hes like this as an active attempt to push people away bc of trust issues. he cares a lot about bubbling, he just also thinks anyone being close to him = him inflicting his 'bad luck'/'curse' (see: STARCLAN IS OUT TO GET ME) on others.

eventually it works and bubbling gives up trying to support his brother for his own sake because whispering goes anywhere from mildly mean to downright verbally abusive trying to get bubbling to go away and the guy cant really keep dealing with that. and whispering hates himself for it but he got what he aimed for so.. yeah.

not sure where im going next with this but i want. drama. but not murder. none of them are gonna be murdery. it's a very family issues and trauma and mental health kind of theme i want going on here. yeah someone will probably die bc that's just kinda a given in the clans but not from killing. i can enjoy warriors ocs that go and kill cats for one reason or another but between them and canon i want something different for once, and this is what i want to create to achieve that. plus running off somewhere and coming back to find out, say, a family member died of greencough or something? it's harder to pin a blame on anything material there. as opposed to a cat from a different clan outright killing them in battle or something.

this is where my blog url came from as you can all guess lol. that's all for now while i finalise things like the names of their other siblings, make solidified designs and come up with more stuff.

[bewarethegrim]

Rereading some of Pete Wentz's old blog posts and found the most harringrove entry.

[noone ever fell in love with anyone because of empty pockets or red splotched eyes. drove around for hours tonight just to keep myself from feeling anchored. weighed down. to keep my mind off thinking about what kids like me deserve. desperation isnt a strong enough word (but it will have to do). my wrists are only black and blue cause i don’t got the balls. nothing gets you ready to have every single word dissected and put under a microscope. i got ringing in my ears but none on my fingers. i got sunsets in the veins on my wrists. we’re not just falling in love anymore, we’re demanding it. im the latest bloomer (dried out my wet dreams and saved them for a rainy day). i can still see you standing on my front porch- slowed my own thoughts down to a single blade of grass. you couldnt catch my eye cause i was too busy rolling them. the buttons on one side of your coat that wouldnt snap on the other side. they were just for fashion not for function you told me. you were pretty for a boy. it made me laugh when i thought of it, im sorry i wasnt laughing at what you were saying. it makes me laugh still- when im driving around for hours at night. id love to swerve off and blame it on the fog, but ive been talking on these roads too much lately. theyd spill all my secrets. this city won’t let me go.]

This first half is Billy, talking about how he feels stuck in Hawkins. His thoughts a cycle of the slurs and insults his dad throws at him, and the shameful fact that his dad isn't wrong. He looks at Steve and thinks he's pretty, and it makes him want to die but at the time time it makes him want to laugh because who would've thought his old man would be right? But he chooses to laugh because that's just easier. He drives, he drives too fast, and he thinks about how easy it would be to lose control. Just another tragic accident, but is anyone suprised? Tragic deaths are what kids like Billy deserve.

[im sure theyd lock me up somewhere if anyone saw me at 23 sneaking into cemetaries. taking pills to make me feel okay sleeping in the grass just above you. the sirens find me at the first light. my lips cracked and dried from the tears, i'll probably die a cliche. flash the lights to kissing boys. provocative. i promise you i wont ever have another afternoon like when we used to sneak out of school and drive the lakeshore. noone will ever sound as cool as you. we built cool. we made up style. we set the standard and theyre all just trying to live up to it. if theres nobody who thinks like us anymore. untouchable is unlovable. you always have me humming in my head just out of key. i bought an alarm clock just so i could hit the snooze button. whats the point in getting out of bed anymore if you only get out to say you did. if you could love the biggest fraud or the best liar- then im your prince. i was made just for fashion not for function.]

The second half is Steve. He finds the letter years after Billy has died. But as he reads it over and over again, he can't help but feel like it's not complete. So he sits down at Billy's grave like he so often does and he writes. Be writes how he feels like he's empty, unlovable and broken. Hidden behind years of lies and NDAs, no one could ever know the real him. He could never explain the scars, the nightmares, the paranoia. He finds solace in his memories of warm days spent with Billy at the Quarry. Billy telling him tales of California, and promising he'd take Steve to the beach, a real beach, once he'd saved up enough money to move back home. An event that never happened because Billy died before he could. He died in the town he felt stuck in and now he was truly stuck forever, under the grass and dirt below Steve's feet. Steve wonders how long it'll take him to join Billy down there?