#Win you hypocritical moron how I love you

[yujeong]

something so funny about win’s face (is it jealousy i see there mister) when he saw that cctv footage of korn and tonkla, and tonkla’s snuggling on his neck. sad that we only got eight episodes for this series, i feel like we'd get more korn/tonkla/win shenanigans if it was longer! and seeing that! i want to see more of win getting jealous, or even korn!

Sorry for taking so long to answer this, anon. I've been having a bit of a rough time lately. Yeah, honestly, Win's face was so precious while he was watching the CCTV footage. I was briefly discussing about him with a friend today, he's such a fascinating character, I can understand why Bible likes him so much (even though I'm sure my reasons for liking him are vastly different from his haha). We'd surely get more Korn/Tonkla/Win shenanigans if we had more episodes, but I feel that the show took advantage of the time it had fairly well. I was very satisfied with everything we ended up getting in regards to those three. Now, if the show was inspirational enough, we'll get more of them through fandom (fics, fanart, gifsets, meta, etc). I'll surely try to contribute to the best of my abilities - I began writing a fic based on the prompt I rebloged the other day, I hope the person who asked for it will like it <33

[jedi-enthusiast]

I just saw @saltinestyle’s 20 day post about how people bash the Jedi for being unemotional assholes

To me it’s just another inclination of how much society’s intelligence going down the drain

Because if they were portrayed emotional in another alternate reality the fandom would bash the Jedi for being too emotional and sensitive

You can’t win with these individuals

So I’ve got to ask what is your take on this

I’ve known you have backed Jedi on several points from their beliefs to their response to anakin’s and subsequently Palpatine’s actions

What is your take and argument to the people who would just as likely bash Jedi for Being too sensitive and emotional?

I honestly feel like this is all just another example of- “no matter what, people who hate the Jedi are going to find some way to demonize them.”

The thing is, the Jedi are emotional---we see them express their emotions, both in the movies and TCW. We see them express happiness, sadness, annoyance, anger, fear, worry, etc.

So when people say- “the Jedi are cold/unemotional” -they’re just straight up lying, because we see otherwise. They’re just not overly emotional, they don’t lash out because of their emotions or let their emotions control them---which is what people take as proof of them being “unemotional,” despite the fact that what they practice is very emotionally healthy.

Ignoring that, though, and going back to your question.

Again, no matter what, people who want to hate the Jedi will find some way to demonize them and read their actions in bad faith.

———

They fight in the war? They’re war-mongering hypocrites who took control of a slave army, therefore becoming slavers themselves.

They don’t fight in the war? They’re just self-righteous assholes that left the galaxy to rot while they sat back in their ivory tower, doing nothing while the clones suffered and died at the hands of people like Tarkin.

———

They listen to the Senate? They’re just the Senate’s lap dogs, how dare they follow the orders of the corrupt Senate when they could just do things without any backing---consequences be damned!

They don’t listen to the Senate? They’re out of control and need to be kept in check, how dare they just take things into their own hands without answering to any authority other than their own!

———

They control their emotions? They’re a bunch of cold emotionless jackasses who look down on things like love and empathy, and punish those who care about those around them.

They’re more emotional? They’re a bunch of irresponsible morons who shouldn’t be in charge of anything because they’re too emotional- “what if they end up bombing (nuking) Serreno (Russia) because they get emotional (their period)?”

(The argument people use against female presidents comes to mind and it’s how I think people would treat the Jedi if they were more visibly emotional than we see)

———

It's all just a no-win situation for the Jedi, where they're bad if they do one thing and bad if they do anything else as well---there's just no way to convince anti-Jedi people that the Jedi are good, because they'll just read whatever the Jedi do in bad faith and find some way to view it as a bad thing.

[not-goldy]

PJM's lurking Jikook blogs, get off your fucking selfish asses and defend JM the right way, for once. WTF is wrong with y'all? Letting TKK and JK solos set Jimin up every day and harass him and you all sitting there with your thumbs up your asses like its not our problem if people hate Jikook. Bitch yes it is. Jk is part of Jimin's life. He made this choice to enlist with JK and the least you can do is help report those vile fuckers or take PJM's off your profile. I will never understand saying why would we support Jikook, when we hate JK. Umm because Jimin loves him and that alone should be enough to at least defend his bond and decisions he makes with JK, even if you hate JK. If you love Jimin, you have to respect his decisions, end of discussion. You don't have to like it, but as a fan you do have to respect it. You are no better then TKK and JK solos right now, in fact you are worse. Running around looking like the most hypocrite fanbase in this fandom, given that you have PJM in your profile & Jimin is the most bullied and harassed and you don't wanna get your hands dirty and go after the real problem. JK is not the problem. TKK and JK solos and Jikook antis are. As fans, what you do does reflect on Jimin and Jimin is such an amazing and good human and you taint that reputation for him, everytime you belittle a decision he makes, cause you hate JK.

PJM's solution. Fighting hate with hate, instead of defending. You people have lost it. Example: A TKK started thread about how Jimin is a predator and makes JK uncomfortable. Instead of PJM's biting their tongue and putting their hate aside for JK for 2 seconds & defend Jikook's bond, that JK doesn't make him uncomfortable and enlisted with Jimin on his own freewill, something this simple to say, they instead make a thread of JK making Jimin uncomfortable in retaliation and saying he is the one harassing and stalking Jimin. Yeah, that'll teach them not to disrespect Jimin any further. Fucking morons. You had one job, defend Jimin and you failed. Jimin doesn't need you to trash JK when he gets harassed, he needs you step up and defend his relationship with his bandmate and treat it with respect. PJM's talk their shit, Jimin only has PJM's. Looks to me like he doesn't have your support at all. I thought PJM's were better then this, but they are too selfish to do the right thing, cause their hate for JK, out weighs their love for Jimin. I am so disappointed in PJM's. I held them to a higher standard. You don't have to like Jikookers or JK, but you can stand alongside and agree to protect him. Fucking cowards, to much of pussies to stand up against TKK and JK solos. I don't even like you MF's personally, but I will glady stand with you to defend Jikook, cause I however, do love Jimin that much. GET THE FUCK UP OFF YOUR ASS AND DO SOMETHING. Even if its a fucking email or supporting Jikook's show openly. Show them MF's they won't win.

The brain damage of them coming to spaces where both Jimin and Jungkook are loved to create unnecessary drama make enemies out of JM lovers- wish they would go bother Tuktukkers and pick fights with other solos and leave us the fuck alone.

When Jimin comes back I'm snitching on them fr

[almdragonrend]

I found a conversation I had in the comments section of a fanfiction and I think I have to share this to give a better look of the real Original Katarina

It again baffled me how different Noelia is from OG Katarina,

Katarina always good oppen in any fight yet there a still some brainless morons who claim they were the same!

How fucking darre they ?

Noelia is such a fucking coward,

Maybe in her past life she was the Authors wife

They surely fit,as selfish hypocritical and hybris driven they both are! Cursed be there souls for eternity!

xaszatm on Chapter 9Tue 14 Mar 2023 06:30AM CET

Let's be fair, the character already was one of the eviler characters in the series thanks to attempting to kill Katarina Claes for the "crime" of not picking on the commoners. It's not surprise with just a little push, her plans could get more evil.

AlmDragonrend on Chapter 9Tue 14 Mar 2023 08:14AM CET

Yeah,

I think the main reason why Sirius used Katarina and not Noelia is that if he used Noelia she would just have killed Maria outright, but Katarina has a good heart so she would be more Tame under his influence.

froghero on Chapter 9Tue 14 Mar 2023 03:12PM CET

You have a point. I think another reason Sirius chose to use katarina was because Noel was too smart and cunning in his schemes.

The moment he started motivating Noel with black magic, Noel wouldn't just start bullying Maria. but will find a way to immediately eliminate Maria from the game. and leaves no trace of evidence.

This goes very much against Sirius' wishes.

First, Sirius never really wanted to get rid of maria in OG FL, just wanted her out of his scheme (just as he didn't really want to get rid of Bakarina in hamefura. he just wanted Bakarina out of his scheme.)

Second, He wanted to cause chaos among the nobles, the royal family, and among the commoner, so that Noel's immediate eliminate Maria without any evidence would not cause such a thing.

A better option is the katarina, the prince's fiancée. who has a straightforward personality without plan. Will begin to small bully Maria for the whole university to see without hiding.

AlmDragonrend on Chapter 9Tue 14 Mar 2023 04:22PM CET

Plus the fact that she is a good person deep down still,

She has helped Sianna,Anne and so many others even in the OG timeline,

Even if Noelia was some how caught it wouldn't lead to nearly as much strife as with Noelia,as Noelia is completely selfish and doesn't care about others and most likely has no friends while Katarina is the only character who was shown to always have friends in all timeliness.

froghero on Chapter 9Tue 14 Mar 2023 07:22PM CET

Oh, I think I understand you wanted to convey.

Noelia because of her very very bad personality. So she never had friends, true friends, companions, or people who cared about her. Therefore, even if she misses, she got caught. No one will come out to help her fight powerful groups around Maria. (Maybe with the exception of her family. Although I suspect she might have been abandoned because her family didn't want to get in trouble with the royal family.)

But on the other hand if it's katarina because she's inherently good, there will be a group of people she used to help, people who like her, her friends, people. who cares about her, her family, House of Adeth, Come out against the powerful group around Maria immediately. (Especially in the case of Prince Geordo. Katarina clearly had a reason for small bullying Maria. And Maria had the cause of being disgusted by the nobles. Because she stole Prince Geordo from her fiancée)

Of course there will be a lot of chaos following the OG FL storyline.

AlmDragonrend on Chapter 9Tue 14 Mar 2023 07:59PM CET

Yes, the main problem is that it wasn't Katarina's fault

Katarina is a good person,the people who truly got to know her loved and adore her, there will be a civil war and even if Maria's faction somehow wins they will be to weak for Sociar to survive as a Nation

the only possible solution for this situation in which The Kingdom doesn't disappear or fall to a hostile take over is Sirius coming out as a dark wizard and take every single bit of the blame,for everything that has ever happened during both games,

and Katarina reinstate as the daughter of house Claes and being made heir to the throne as compensation for everything she had to go through aswell as the Stuart's leaving the Kingdom for ever,which is pretty unlikely.

So yeah that Kingdom is done for

I actually have plans for a fanfiction about a possible fortune lover 3 but I can't actually do it on my own,

But at least I have "the Heroine's brother " trilogy

But there one-shots and unlike what I would plan for that

But I took a bit inspiration from the tales of serious,

I know some people have problems with it

But I love tales of Zestiria,yeah it could be better and I would have loved to work on it,especially in the story part.

But I got a bit to far away,

But that is just the main point,among all the Noble's in Sociar during the original timeline Katarina was the one who more than any other embodies the spirit of Nobless obliged,and that is why she is someone who is so important to soo many people,because a friend like her is rare almost non existence in Noble society, so of course no one wants to lose her.

froghero on Chapter 9Tue 14 Mar 2023 08:41PM CET

Sounds like it would be the end of the royal family and nobility in Sociar. Regardless of the outcome in any way. And perhaps the end of the country of Sociar.

heh. In the original timeline, the only person who laughed at the end was probably the Ghost Dark magic.

If you have a great idea for a fanfiction You should try writing it. :D

Last Edited Tue 14 Mar 2023 08:45PM CET

AlmDragonrend on Chapter 9Tue 14 Mar 2023 10:04PM CET

Yes,the only way for the Nation to survive is like I said Raphael admitting to everything while also pointing out he choose Katarina because she was the only one on the entire Academy who hadn't killed Maria outright from the start,than the Royal family handing over the Kingdom to Katarina and leaving,that's the only outcome in which Sociar can survive.

The fanfiction I have in mind couldn't work,

Because I really couldn't make that one on my own for multiple reasons,but I could tell you the basic promise if you won't ?

[cosmicoceanfic]

Sam does not understand, fundamentally, why he is always the one getting shafted, cosmically speaking.

He’s considered it pretty carefully. He’s not exactly sure if you can get reincarnated, but every day he gets a little more certain, because clearly he did something terrible in a past life to deserve this. I mean, sure, there’s all the murdering he’s done in this life, and the lying, and he’s done more than his fair share of coveting, he guesses. But even with all the killing, he can’t have done anything bad enough to warrant this. It’s gotta have been the guy before him, fucking up his life from beyond the grave.

Grimly, Sam makes the call. As he listens to it ring, he wonders what he can do to make up for his cosmic misfortune. Plant trees, maybe. Campaign against animal cruelty? He’s definitely going to need a burger after this. The biggest burger they’ll make him. So maybe he shouldn’t be a hypocrite about the animal cruelty.

“Yeah?” Dean answers.

“Hi,” Sam says.

“What’s wrong?”

Sam, not for the first time, silently damns his father to hell for raising them on the road in a way that means Dean intrinsically knows all his tells. “Cover’s blown. We need a new plan.”

“Cover’s- what do you mean, cover’s blown?”

“I meant that the cover’s blown. So we need a new plan.”

“The fuck did you do to blow it?”

Sam bristles. “This is not my fucking fault.”

“Well, whose fault is it?”

Sam hates his life. He wonders if it’s too late to renounce hunting and go back to law school. “Did you come to see Cas while I was investigating the warehouse yesterday?”

“Yeah, he wanted an opinion on an angle on the case.”

“Did you hang out on the front porch for a while afterwards?”

The defensiveness creeps into Dean’s voice, right on schedule. “A man can’t hang out with his best friend for the first time all week, Sammy?”

Maybe killing Dean’ll get the metaphysical target off his back. It’s more murder but that’s gotta be a net win for the universe. “Were you… behaving any different? Than normal?”

“No, same as always.”

Yeah, that checks out. “Cas left to do some recon today and this, uh. This posse of the older ladies who live in the neighborhood dropped by for a talk.”

“…okay?”

“And they wanted me to know that Cas…” Christ. “Cas is having an affair.”

Silence from Dean before he lets out a squawk of laughter.

“You can’t even hold anybody down when you’re not laying any pipe,” he tells Sam. “You’re a fucking embarrassment.” Jesus God, Sam hates him. Sam opens his mouth but something changes in Dean’s tone. “Wait, an affair? Is there- did somebody-“ And there’s the jealous edge, also right on cue. “Did somebody come by to see Cas? Someone he likes more-“ Dean cuts himself off, saving the two of them the awkwardness of him finishing the sentence with than me?

“No, moron,” Sam says, because he’s about at the edge of his patience. “They think he’s cheating on me with you.”

Dead silence. Sam waits.

“No, they don’t,” Dean says finally.

Sam rolls his eyes. “They gave me a pretty detailed description, Dean, I think they must’ve had binoculars.”

“Well, how the fuck do you know they were-“

“Freckles, green eyes, tan jacket, red flannel.”

More silence.

“They said they’re gonna watch the house like a hawk in case you come back,” Sam tells him. “We can’t have them doing that. So the cover’s blown, and we need to find a new angle.”

“Cas and I don’t read like that,” Dean says.

Sam doesn’t even know where to begin with that. “Evidently you do,” he settles on. “Because they clocked you, and now we’re fucked.” Dean’s quiet again. “Dean?”

“I told you nobody was gonna buy Cas being in love with your big dumb ass,” Dean finally bursts out with. “I fucking told you this was a bad plan-“

“It was the only plan,” Sam snaps. “It was the only goddamn plan, and you refused to be the one to do it, so it was my job.” Sam’s had to watch Cas mope around about it for a week, and he is not about to entertain Dean rewriting history.

“Does Cas know?”

“Cas is out investigating, I’m gonna tell him when he gets back.” Because Sam’s life is the hardest anyone’s ever had it, and he’s including Jesus. “Drive to the rendezvous point and start thinking about a plan.”

“Why is this my job?

Sam, with some restraint, does not say because thanks to the fact that you won’t have a conversation with Cas like people do, this is your fault. He also does not say because you’re pushing fucking forty and still a stilted jackass. Finally, he does not say because you’ve been inflicting you and Cas on me for almost ten fucking years and I’m starting to think I will never know peace.

“Just is,” he says, instead of all that. “See you soon.”

Sam hangs up. Cas’ truck is pulling into the drive, and he’s anticipating that this conversation is only going to go marginally better than the Dean one did.

The absolute biggest, juiciest, fuck youiest burger, Sam thinks, and heads out to meet him.

one of my strongest opinions is that a samcas fake couple matchup would flop because cas is just not going to cooperate at all. sorry. you could not pay him to pretend to be attracted to that man. r/DeadBedrooms vibes so potent that several of the miserable suburban str8 couples they come in contact with during the case immediately file for divorce.

[le-reveuse]

Ok so just finished Teen Wolf. I’m thinking I need to rewatch it again (aparantly a bad habit of mine is rewatching things after I’ve just watched them) so as I have a better grasp of what’s going on. But for now first impressions.

I’m not really surprised that Scott McCall was not my favourite character - the main main character usually isn’t. But I’m kinda disappointed that there wasn’t a whole Scott Allison and Isaac thing (I mean technically there was and the whole jealousy thing seemed kinda hypocritical of Scott I mean he got upset at the thought of a friend only thinking of kissing his ex, when he literally does the same thing?) - honestly had a fic idea where they really are a thing but they are having fun messing with everyone and it’s told from both an outsiders perspective and theirs and details making the best of a confusing supernatural situation by making it even more confusing or something, but imagine Mr Argent’s reaction “TWO WEREWOLVES!?!?!?!” Also was there any main female character that he did not kiss, just you know out of curiosity?

Honestly Stiles was probably my favourite (until s6b wherein Theo’s hair replaces him as my favourite) and he clearly has magic but no one realises it - whether or not as a biproduct of him being possessed who knows. But it explains a lot of things like the mountain ash in season 2, the hospital door unlocking whilst he and Malia are kissing (Mellisa McCall May have locked them in but I will never believe that she stared at them to make sure they made up - I mean she has work to do so she can lower her stress levels caused by her bills) oh and the fact he looked directly at the fear causing creature (whom I am not even gonna try to spell their name cause I can not) and not turning to stone like hmmm there’s something suspicious going on here.

Also loved the whole Stiles and Lydia thing. They needed the slow build up, he needed to get over his frankly obsessive crush on her and learn to see her as a human being a person, and she needed to learn how to be herself without caring about others opinions. But I also really liked the dynamic that Stiles and Malia had. They were admittedly cute.

Speaking of Malia I am unsure who I ship her with I mean her and Stiles were adorable, her and Kira had great chemistry, also her and Theo that whole attraction turned to absolute hatred I want to kill you dynamic is something I die for.

However I don’t really ship Theo with anyone (I mean if I had to it would be a toss up between Liam and Malia) I don’t know what it is but like I just cannot seem to get into shipping Theo with characters I mean if it’s like a 1000000000000 word piece about Theo working on himself so he’s ready for a stable relationship that doesn’t end in maiming killing or any other form of harm. And I mean he had a heap of character development from stabbing friends/pack mates in the back to attempting to take away pain and fighting alongside his once enemies, to taking the pain of a scared kid who was on the ‘wrong’ (hunters) side.

And yeah whilst I kinda (occasionally) ship Theo and Liam (when I’m not shipping Theo with Malia or no one), I kinda ship Liam and Hayden more just purely based off the kids abandonment issues. He would have definitely gone after her (you know after graduating and the supernatural crisis had been averted).

I mean I will say this I was not expecting Corey and Mason (I loved them) but mason and Brett. This is purely based off them having the first interaction and the hilarity of him telling Liam that he could take Brett and give him to him. Such a lovestruck dork. But yeah I agree with Brett and Mason being really good friends (May I just go ahead and say it anyone who wouldn’t be Masons friend is absolutely moronic - no offence meant - he is just a cute cinnamon roll who knows a lot of random shit and is definitely stiles fav child - because they are really similar) and Corey and Mason... I love them they are so supportive of each other and that scene in the last episode just after they tell each other I love you is incredible plus the detectivey coupley parallels between them and Stiles and Lydia are just divine.

Also evil Stiles (I mean absolutely heartbreaking) but y’know evil and fav character. I dunno if they hadn’t managed to separate Stiles and the nogistume (I’m probably spelling that wrong) and Stiles was slowly turned evil there would have definitely been some world domination going on. Also kinda just want a villain to win for once (which technically Peter Theo and Delucian did - with the whole redemption thing) but like an actual imma destroy the whole world type villain who has massive monologues - who never wins - should definitely win so long as we are seeing the point of view of the protagonists/heroes.

[papirouge]

i mean, he has lost in court TWICE and keeps trying to sue her. she's also an abusive POS, but pretending he's a victim is ridiculous at this point. maybe read the type of stuff he said about wanting to r*pe her corpse, lol

If it's wrong to call him a victim because he's an abuser, then why are the people rehashing this argument are hellbent on calling Amber Heard a victim when she ADMITTED HERSELF being PURPOSELY VIOLENT, then? 🤔

Aaaah yes "b-but abuse victim can retaliate and become violent uwu" cool, cool. Then would it actually occur to your mind the same thing could be said about Depp? 💀 See? Pretty much all the arguments to defend Heard could be used for Depp too, some ppl are just too biased and hypocrites to grasp it.

But you know what? I'm pretty much team nobody at this point. Both Depp & Heard are messed up individuals who mutually (psychologically & physically) hurt each other. BUT what I can't stand, as a VERY logical person, is the systemic double standards here.

when a woman is losing in court after accusing her abusers => the justice system is flawed and against women so I won't trust the sentence and keep being shady & calling these men predator¯\_(ツ)_/¯

when a woman is winning in Court => SEE? that's the proof she was right!!!

or

women who speak out about abuse get their career destroyed while men keep thriving 😤 MALE WILL ALWAYS PROTECT EACH OTHER!!

...m'kay, so which one of them has been put off their respective movie franchise? 👀 Didn't Aquaman's producer (a man) say he wouldn't "put into fans' pressure" to throw her out? lmao but suuuure, rich White women in Hollywood don't get defended at all....🤡

Didn't that Court case in the UK wss rather about a defamation thing about whether what Depp did to Amber was technically "abuse"? But the thing is: acknowledging that Depp has been abusing her doesn't absolve Heard being an abuser herself, so it's ridiculous how some #teamAmber weirdos are hellbent on this case as if it was unequivocally evidence that Amber dindu nuffin.

The text about him wanting to kill & rape her are disgusting but not material of abuse. This is character trial at this point. A psycho telling a bunch of messed up things on private message to his pal doesn't make them a predator. None of that ain't the big own you think it is.

Meanwhile, I find fascinating how #teamAmber degen argue that Depp wk "leave out things", when they themselves do precisely the same: why don't they talk about Heard lying about using a makeup product that wouldn't be released until a year later (Milani)? or the infamous cut finger on his right hand when Depp is right handed?? (it makes as little sense as shooting yourself with your left hand if you're right handed). Feminist will always be like "abuse victims lie about their wound to protect their abuser" but will totally ignore this possibility for Depp🤡

and let's not ignore that disgusting filth I've been reading about how women hitting men is no biggie because they have "physical advantage" and "could've stop her" because "she was unarmed"

I love how victim blaming is okay when it's men🤡 I mean, if men have a physical advantage over women, wouldn't it still be dangerous for them to defend themselves & really hurt their partner on the process? 🤔 See? damned if they do, damned if they don't.

Anyway, I didn't plan talking that much about this whole drama because, as I said, both Heard & Depp are weirdos who did deserve each other BUT I just can't stand radfem/femcel hypocrisy on this case. They pretend wanting justice but they outed themselves as being as biased & moronic as scrotic meninists & MGTOW who'll put their gender bias above actual fair judgement. I don't understand why they'll get so pissy at people acknowledging female abusers & wanting them to be punished, and act like it was them insinuating that women commit as much violence as men......??? I also hate how this discourse has turned into a pro Heard vs pro Depp when they're both abusive degenerates.

Also feminist have no room to act like they were better than misogynistic males when they've shown themselves being as prone to throw disgusting sexual slur at any woman who didn't blindly side with Heard (calling them "dick sucker/rider" or "pickme"). They are insufferable and annoying. It's so cringe to see them try to girlbossify Heard while thinking they're somehow better than corny Depp wk.

[master-thief-gray-shadow]

Earn It

Summary: With days before the district preliminary performance, Keke attempts to settle one more thing with Sumire.

Notes: So I just wrote a LL fic for the first time in almost 3 years. Figured I’d get one out eventually.

Three days until the district prelims. Three days until she would finally, finally be the center, the focus, the main attraction. Her heart seemed to be beating a mile a minute every second of the day. Every time she felt herself calm down a little she would imagine herself on that stage, in front of who even knows how many people, and she’d go dizzy all over again. It was overwhelming. She was exhausted, she’d barely slept because she just couldn’t seem to get her heart to stop racing. But she had never been happier to be so tired.

For what was probably the first time in her entire life, Sumire felt respected. At last, she wasn’t just some random stranger only good for a supporting role, she was finally recognized for her skill, her talent, and was finally going to shine. A part of her had given up on this. Show business was ruthless, and either you had what it takes or you didn’t, and while she certainly had something she had been starting to doubt if what she had really was what it took. But no, she knew now. She had what it took alright. Just took finding the right kind of stage for it.

In hindsight, perhaps she had been very foolish for doubting that she could be a school idol. Perhaps she had been a little too swept up in Ren’s then-dislike of school idols, perhaps, she realized, out of fear of being further ostracized. After all, the push for school idols was being helmed by a gutless coward and a loud, obnoxious, raving lunatic who seemed to take any pushback as an excuse to just be louder and obnoxious-er.

Of course she knew now that Kanon was anything but a coward. She was actually probably one of the bravest people Sumire had ever met. It took a lot of courage to face down obstacles even as your legs trembled the way she always seemed to. Sumire was honestly a little jealous of her, and it was that jealousy that had drawn her to the idol research club in the first place (or...well...maybe it was admiration. Sumire had trouble telling at times.) Kanon was nothing like her disastrous first impression had made her out to be. She was so much better, so much more worthy of respect.

Keke was also nothing like her first impression. She was, in fact, worse. Just such a stupid, delusional moron who did nothing but scream about school idols this, school idols that, and had standards that were high enough to have left orbit. Sumire could understand high standards and why someone would hold them, but Keke couldn’t even meet her own, a hypocrite if there ever was one. She’d been downtrodden and cast aside in favor of people who shone brighter for her entire life and for the first time Sumire actually felt genuinely superior to someone. She worked hard at what she did! She nurtured her talent, or what she had of it, and this girl who didn’t even comprehend that any kind of performance required, you know, actual work had the audacity to talk down to her! Even when Sumrie tried to play nice, give her the benefit of a doubt, Keke was nothing but rude and catty and seemed to jump through hoops to find any means of putting her down.

Why did Kanon put up with her? Why did any of the other club members put up with her? She was dead weight, a liability. A tiny, tiny part of Sumire wanted to throw the prelims, make Liella fall flat on their face, just so Keke would have to go back to China and she’d never have to see her or think about her again.

The sky was tinted orange as Sumrie left the school building, her feet already instinctually following the path to the shrine. Gods, she was tired, not just from the rigorous practice she’d just done but also because her nerves just wouldn’t let her rest. All she wanted right now was to lie down for a little while. She had the star power to nail that performance, sure, but star power meant nothing if she wasn’t well-rested. She was maybe five feet from the gate, almost to the sidewalk. Quickly approaching the threshold that meant she was well and truly on the way home.

“Hey! Hey Sumire! Wait!”

Sumire bristled as she recognized Keke’s voice. She had been sweet leading up to the performance. Not nearly as harsh or cruel. Almost kind. Too kind. Something about it made Sumire’s stomach turn. Oh, so now you see that I’m actually quite talented, and suddenly you want to be nice, is that it? Pathetic. Truly the mark of a weakling to start sucking up to someone once they prove themselves to be superior. If she really wanted to show some respect she’d just shut the hell up.

“What?” She glowered slightly as she looked back. Keke was surprisingly close, practically right behind her. At this distance it was easy to notice something...off about her stance. She seemed almost too rigid, too serious. Curiously, Sumire turned around fully to face the other girl. “I’m exhausted, so every second you delay me is a second I could be resting up for the live, you know.” She flipped her hair for good measure. Just so she wouldn’t seem too interested in why Keke had chased her down like this.

Keke was still and silent for a moment, her soft blue eyes staring straight into Sumire’s own. Sumire was starting to wonder if she’d just come here for a staring contest when she dropped onto all fours, her forehead pressed to the ground as she curled herself into a low bow.

“I’m sorry!” Keke wailed, a slight sniffle in her voice suggesting she was already past the verge of tears. “I’ve been so awful to you ever since you joined and I never even gave you a chance to prove yourself!”

Sumire’s jaw nearly hit the pavement. Okay, what the fuck? How the hell was she supposed to have prepared for something like this? All that practice ad-libbing and performing on the fly and here she was at a genuine loss for words. “You’re...sorry?

“I am!” Keke looked up at her, and as expected tears were running down her face. “And I’ve been thinking, and I realized that it’s my fault you didn’t realize your passion for school idols sooner!” She was on her knees now, her hands clasped in front of her as if praying. “I’ve been holding you back, Sumire. I’ll understand if you don’t have it in your heart to do so, but can you ever forgive me?”

Sumire gazed down at Keke’s face, streaked with tears and snot as she continued to cry. Disgusting. If someone was going to fake-cry to make a half-assed apology, she’d imagine it would look something like this. This was certainly how she would do it. But this was Keke. The girl was nothing but sincere and genuine every hour of every day, exhaustingly so. She wouldn’t lie if it was to save her life. She might not even grasp the concept of lies in the first place. If you told her the asphalt on the street was rock candy you could count on her running over to take a few bites. That would be funny, Sumire thought to herself. But it wouldn’t be very helpful in this situation.

“So you finally admit that I have the star power to carry Liella on my back, huh?” She folded her arms and laughed a little, her practiced, evil noblewoman’s laugh. She loved that one. “You come crawling back to me, the greatest in the galaxy, to beg for my forgiveness? Then beg!”

Keke did not beg. Instead her posture went limp, her head hanging low. She was silent, save for a few soft sobs, and Sumire was quickly overwhelmed by a growing sense that she had just really, really messed up.

“So,” Keke said, her voice quiet and hoarse, “you won’t forgive me?”

“I...” Sumire looked down at this crying, trembling shadow of Tang Keke. The girl who had been nothing but a pain this entire school year, the girl who had put her down so often and so flippantly. The girl who, deep down, was just as scared of losing her dream as she was. It wasn’t an excuse for anything, no. But Sumire supposed she’d done some things she didn’t have an excuse for, either.

“When we--when I win the preliminaries,” she said, her voice now much softer, but with just enough arrogance so as not to seem too soft, “then I’ll think about maybe forgiving you.”

“Really?” Keke leapt up and got right into Sumire’s face. Sumire did not need to see how red and puffy her eyes were at this level of close detail, she’d already gotten the point across. “You really mean it?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself!” Sumire said, pushing Keke off of her and flipping her hair again. “Remember, it’s only if we win.”

Keke stood straight, her expression now fierce and determined. Even through the mess on her face there was an undeniable fire to her aura. “Then I’ll work hard so we can win! I’ll earn your forgiveness, Sumire!”

“Hmph! We’ll see if that hard work pays off soon enough!” With one final flip of her hair, she spun around and resumed her route home.

She wasn’t ready to forgive Keke, not yet. But she supposed she had a few days to get there.

[ultramaga]

"Do you know what the definition of a Hijra is?" I know what it was. I also pointed out that Leftists had changed it. Do you not have the ability to read, or are you a dishonest cvnt? I merely ask for information. "the dictionary" This is meaningless, you moron. I knew people who made dictionaries. Dictionaries became propaganda pieces - just as they always do in Leftist societies. Your fallacy for today is "argument by authority", because the problem is that WHICH DICTIONARY, WHICH EDITION immediately becomes important. Or if I have a dictionary which defines a Leftist as "a subhuman scum who should be tossed from a helicopter", does that make it true? So here's some homework, asshole. Who is Lysenko? What happened to dictionaries under the communists and the fascists? What did Julia Gillard do to the definition of misogyny in the Macquarie Dictionary when she wanted to win an argument?

Your own movement contradicts you, as I pointed out. Which source used changes it from eunuch to - recently - a third gender. Which is an interesting admission from Leftists, that they regard human castration as "gender reassignment". "imagine having the audacity to tell me" Oh yes, how dare someone lower in the Intersectional Hierarchy speak to a superior! Fuck you, you racist piece of shit. "Honey, I can assure you I know what happens to people like me in non - white countries" And yet you vilify white people, and claim being brown makes you better? Seems to me not only are you a hypocrite but a dangerous one, eager to give false information to others because it gives you power. You know this isn't about whites, but you choose to make it about whites, because you are a racebaiting leftist piece of shit. Says right here in my dictionary. "I can assure my queer identity has been treated better by my fellow countrymen" Yes, Eunuchs were treated well in China, too. Doesn't change the fact that they are eunuchs, and that what was done to them was an atrocity. Hell, the Ottomans even let them rule the country, after brainwashing them into loving their masters. "what I’m assuming you’re saying are hate crimes being committed in my country" Of course you are assuming, because my actual words contradict your strawman. Have you ever considered saying an honest word? Just make sure others clear the area first - the explosion could take out a wide area. "I suggest educating yourself on topics you don’t know anything about instead of supplying me with Wikipedia articles." Except that the source wasn't a wikipedia article, was it? And considering wikipedia WRITES LEFTIST ARTICLES, WHICH IS WHY I DON'T SUPPORT IT, AND YOU CAN TELL FROM THE BULLSHIT ABOUT GENDER, then yes, that is rather a big deal, and someone who wasn't completely devoid of a soul would have realised that. "we’re still facing the repercussions of British colonialism 76 years later" I don't care if you write in wikipedia that you are a victim for a billion years. You choose victimhood, you revel in it, because it is your excuse for your total failure as a human being. Now fuck off.

Nononono the fact that being trans in India was like being a priest and the Hijras were called upon to bless babies and marriages and were so heavily ingrained in our society but then the fucking British decided to colonise and make being a Hijra fucking illegal so now people who fall under the trans flag like me and many of the people i know are being hate crimed against when back before the fucking British we were akin to deities???!!!! Like the British come here and ruin EVERYTHING

[tibbinswrites]

Prompt #170: Part 3

So @day-fire​ asked (fist slammed a table) for a part three and made grabby hands... how could I leave those grabby hands empty? I’ve now done prompts for: #1, #2, #4 and #16, #9, #10, #20, #33, #77, #78, #170 (part 1), (part 2), (part 3), #327 and #502 and I’ve finally completed my backlog so I’m not accepting any more prompts at this time.

Also, just in case you weren’t aware, I’m part of an incredible destiel fanfic, art and podfic anthology. Our indegogo page is live here and there are tiers ranging from simply gorgeous PDF copies and all the podfics to beautiful print books with a bunch of other merch like bookmarks and art prints. We are now FULLY FUNDED so this project is a go! Everyone who buys a printed copy of the book now shall definitely be receiving one (and hey, maybe even a hardback one if we make it to 143% funded).

So here it is. The third (and final) part to the original prompt: “Why are you doing this to yourself?”

I hope you like it ^_^ Read the first part here

Read the second part here

Before Chuck’s body even had time to cool (metaphorically of course, there hadn’t been an actual corpse left behind once Jack was through with him), Billie showed up.

“Well done,” she said in that perpetually-sarcastic-yet-somehow-still-serious tone of hers. “You actually did it. I have to admit I’m surprised, it was touch and go there for a while.”

“Okay,” Dean immediately shifted from one fight to the next as he turned to confront Death. “We followed your plan, did your thing and we won. So now, you owe us.”

Watching Billie’s face transform into shocked indignation was worth the demand all by itself.

“My thing?” She said, drawing herself up to her full height, a crackle of dark energy seemed to buzz around her for a moment. “My thing was saving the world, the world that you all live on. I believe that what you mean to say is ‘Thank you’. I owe you nothing and our alliance is done.”

“That’s not how I see it,” Dean insisted stubbornly. “You going after Chuck was more personal than doing us a solid. He was messing with your books and your big picture plan so your beef with him wasn’t exactly altruistic.”

“Dean, what are you doing?” Sam murmured in his ear, stepping forward to grab his shoulder but Dean shook him off, his eyes only on Billie.

“Well you’ve got balls, Winchester, I’ll give you that,” she allowed, looking more amused now than anything, which Dean counted as a win because, you know, even by his standards, he knew that pissing off Death was a monumentally stupid idea. Even Sam’s presence retreated from his side, back towards Jack. “Go on then, tell me. What is it you want? Aside from… oh, I don’t know, your lives, the lives of seven billion people, your entire universe, and of course the fact that your future is your own again. Because none of that counts if my perceived motivation isn’t up to your very hypocritical standards.”

Okay, so maybe she was a little pissed. Nonetheless, Dean ploughed through, his hands balled at his sides, ignoring the warning looks from his family.

“The point is—”

“Just ask me for the favour, Dean,” Billie interrupted smoothly. “It does you no credit to be making demands with faulty logic to try and save yourself a debt. Either I’ll help you or I won’t, but I’ll be more likely to be on your side if you stop insulting me.”

Dean hesitated at that and swallowed hard. She was right, but that didn’t make it any easier. Sure, he made skeevy deals all the time that almost always backfired but at least he usually expected them to. Quid pro quo was something that he understood well. In this life you had to be willing to give a lot to get a little back. Straight up asking for help from a cosmic entity though? That was new, humiliating territory. He had nothing that she wanted from him anymore. He could ask, hell, he could beg, but he knew as well as she did that he had no leverage to stop her from just walking away.

“I want Cas freed of his deal.”

“Dean!” That was Cas, stepping forward, his face filled with compassion and gratitude as he moved into Dean’s line of sight and Dean’s face flooded with heat that Cas could look at him that way, that Cas could still look at him that way. “You don’t have to do this for me.”

“I’m not doing anything,” Dean said, dragging his eyes back to Billie, who was watching them carefully. “I got nothin’ to bargain with, you know that. You don’t want our lives or souls or whatever. Chuck’s already dead and you don’t care if we’re happy or not. I’m just asking, please. Break the deal.”

Billie considered him for a long time, her dark eyes taking him in, taking in Cas and then she was looking past them to where Sam and Jack probably stood before falling back on him. He briefly wondered what she saw… she didn’t like him all that much he was sure and if he had learned anything about her it was that she didn’t do anything that contradicted with whatever her big picture was. What Dean was asking was a pretty heavy shift of the way the stage had been set. But he couldn’t let her just leave without taking what might be his only shot to save the man he loved.

Finally, Billie sighed and took a step back, her grip shifting on her scythe.

“I can’t.”

Dean tried not to wilt, resolutely did not look at Cas. He didn’t want Cas to see the apology in his eyes, the failure.

The entire room was still, not even the dust motes seemed to move. Which was ironic really considering the fact that the world Dean had just helped save was starting to fracture around him.

Dean felt a warm hand on his arm then and a soft voice in his ear.

“Dean, it’s alright.”

“No!” He turned on Cas with all the fury he wanted to direct at Billie, at the Empty. “It’s not alright! How can you just stand there and tell me that you’re fine with being miserable for the rest of your life? How can you justify that? How can you?” he jabbed an accusing finger at Billie, who stared back, impassive in the face of his rage. “After what he’s done for this world, and his part in your plan—which was freaking huge by the way, he did way more than any of us—how can you just stand there and tell me that he doesn’t deserve to be happy?!”

“Deserve has nothing to do with it,” Billie told him calmly. “I told you, I can’t break the deal, because I wasn’t the one to make it. I can, however, make a call.”

And with that, her eyes rolled up into her skull, leaving the blank whites staring out at them all. Disconcerted, Dean glanced around at the others. Cas was still next to him, his presence solid, his eyes almost hopeful. Sam had herded Jack nearer the door in case they needed to bolt, though Dean knew that was more for appearance and instinct’s sake, neither of them were going anywhere, no matter how hairy things got. Jack was staring at Billie, looking pleased if not relaxed. Sam’s eyes met his and Dean wasn’t surprised by the conflict he saw there. He felt it too. He knew as well as Sam did that if he put all his hopes in this and it didn’t pan out, it would destroy him. Sam would back his play, of course he would, he wanted Cas to be happy and safe as much as Dean did, but Dean could see the deep concern there that he knew wasn’t for Cas. He looked away, back to Billie, whose irises were slowly sliding back into place, and the growing puddle of darkness that was beginning to materialise on the concrete floor.

Dean watched, feeling increasingly sick as the black, liquid-looking substance bubbled and rose and solidified into a vaguely humanoid form. There was no face, which was disconcerting as all hell, and the thing’s limbs were just a little too long and… wobbly to be truly human. It was making his brain fuzz over just looking at it. He felt Cas’ grip tighten on his arm.

“What do you want now?” The thing whined, it’s non-face turned in Billie’s direction. It’s voice was perhaps the most surprising thing about it, it was high pitched and nasal (which was impressive considering the thing’s lack of nose) with a slant to the words that Dean couldn’t place. He supposed ‘afterlife dimension’ came with its own accent.

“The angel wants out of his deal,” Billie said. “The humans wish to make what I’m sure will either be a heartfelt plea or some kind of threat.”

“You called me for that? Isn’t this over? Hmmm... I have God and His sister all nicely tucked away and sleeping. Why am I still awake?”

“Look...” Dean said to the goo-creature, and the head swivelled around on a too-loose neck. He stared at where he thought the eyes should be, trying not to be creeped out by the fact he had no idea if his gaze was being returned or not. He also wasn’t sure what tack to try here. He had no more leverage over this thing than he did the Grim Reaper, would it respect a strong stance or was grovelling the way to go? He would do it, if that’s what it took to let Cas live the rest of his life chasing joy. Hell, he would get down on his knees if it meant that he could finally return the words Cas had voiced not three weeks ago. His mind was spinning, but coming up a blank.

So Sam stepped up, taking slow, measured steps to stand at Dean’s other shoulder. “You’ve helped us out before, done Jack a solid when you let him come back and we appreciate that. We also know that you’ve got some issues with Cas and we’d really like to resolve those so that… so you don’t take him.”

“Yeah,” Jack piped up, moving to Cas’ other side. “We’d really rather he stay with us. Without giving up his happiness.”

“Cas is the main reason you still have a place to go back to,” Dean added. “Can’t you just give him a pass? More than anyone he’s earned that.”

“The little shit woke me up!” The creature screeched at them out of its non-mouth. “I haven’t been woken up in the history of ever until that feathered moron came along. All he had to do was sleep, yes, and he couldn’t even do that! So I’m taking him when I damn well please. I gave up my legitimate claim to you, nephilim, just to squeeze out every drop of revenge. You think I’ll go back on that now? Oh, no, no, no, not when the due date is so close, am I right?”

Dean blinked, suddenly getting the feeling that the Empty had stopped talking to them at some point and had started addressing Cas, who he felt perfectly still beside him.

“Am I right, angel?” The thing cooed, “You almost have your happy, don’t you? You’re holding it back by a mere membrane. And now it stands right next to you and tries to get me to change my mind. That has to be nice… seeing how he cares. How they all care.”

Cas said nothing, but in a quick glance Dean saw his lips press together, his eyes lower. The submission hurt Dean more than any outburst of rage at this creature who had stolen all the things that people lived for, everything that Cas had fallen for and given so much of himself to protect. It wasn’t fair that he was now just as cut off from it as when he was a mindless automaton. He should be angry.

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do for me,” he said, still looking down at the floor. “But if this deal breaks, Jack’s soul is forfeit, and I can’t—”

“No it’s not.”

Every head turned to look at Billie, who was the picture of nonchalance, except for the gleam in her eye. “Jack’s soul will go to heaven.”

The Empty spluttered. “I think you’ll find nephilim are my jurisdiction.”

“They are,” Billie agreed, “but Jack’s not a nephilim anymore. Is he?”

Dean gaped in Jack’s direction. The kid frowned, then looked like he was concentrating really hard on something, and then surprise lit his features. “I’m human?”

“Your power was what was needed to defeat God,” Billie explained. “The exact amount of your power. No more, no less. It was never really yours anyway, it was inherited from your father. But you disowned him and chose a father of your own.” She nodded towards Castiel. “That severed the power from you, made your human soul separate from the archangel grace. In reality, Chuck was fighting two of you, Jack, and He was only able to destroy one. Of course, He thought the one worth destroying was the one with the power, leaving you as the other. Pure human. Which,” she smiled at the Empty, “is my jurisdiction.”

If the Empty had a face, Dean was pretty sure it would be glaring fire at Billie. “You’re on their side?” It screeched. Dean winced at the piercing volume. “You want me to break the deal. What? Are you going to keep me awake until I obey, yes? You can’t pull that lever twice, Reaper. I helped you with the old man and the dark one all on the promise that once this was over you’d let me sleep and I know you to be a being of your word.”

“You’re right,” Billie said evenly. “I will keep my promise, regardless of whether or not you help the angel. But I would prefer it if you did. As a favour.” Her eyes flicked briefly to Dean’s at that and a newfound well of respect for Billie threatened to spill out of his dumb mouth. He swallowed it back. He was pretty sure she could see his gratitude. She had already helped them by calling the Empty here, and it would have been more than fair for her to leave them to do the convincing, which he was pretty sure wouldn’t have worked on its own.

The Empty seemed to consider that; clearly weighing the benefit of having Death owe it one against whatever pleasure it would gain from torturing Cas. The decision took far longer than Dean was comfortable with and something snapped in him at the tense silence. His hand found Cas’ and he held it tight, ignoring the surprised look that melted into fondness on his left. He felt a hand land on his opposite shoulder and looked up into Sam’s face. There was a soft smile there, and pride, but there was a twitch in his eyebrow that begged him not to entwine himself so deep that he couldn’t disentangle himself if this all went to shit. Dean couldn’t bring himself to tell him that it was far, far too late for that.

“Hmmm...” The Empty said. “Well… There it is. Looks like Castiel just cashed in his happy.”

Dean’s head snapped around. Cas was looking at him, beaming really. His eyes glittering in the low light, radiant in a way that was different from his grace and far more beautiful. The hand in his gave a gentle squeeze, though there was fear in those eyes now, his moment of pure joy eclipsed by the fact that this could all be gone with his next blink. Dean brought his other hand around to clasp their already joined ones, as if he could just hold tight enough, then nothing could make him let go.

Seeing Cas afraid was like an icy fingertip sliding down his spine. He turned back to the Empty, readying himself to throw a punch or to prostrate himself on the ground and beg, or start another goddamn apocalypse just to draw the fear from those blue, bottomless eyes. It couldn’t end like this, not when they were on the precipice of whatever this promised to be, not when they could finally, finally start living for themselves.

“Please,” Dean said, his voice thick and unwieldy in his mouth. “Please let him stay with me.”

The creature hummed again, an irritating sound that buried into his skull. “Alright.”

It flicked one of its (too bendy) arms in Cas’ direction and the angel cried out in pain, dropping to the floor like a sack of bricks and dragging Dean down too where their hands were still clasped.

“Cas!” Dean yelled as Cas began a low moan that rose in volume and pitch and agony until it was a scream, and then his back arched so dramatically Dean heard it crack, and Cas’ eyes widened to the point of popping. In the next painful convulsion, Cas ripped his hand away from Dean’s.

“Cas!” Dean cried again, scrambling to get it back, to offer what little comfort he could. If these were going to be Cas’ last moments, Dean couldn’t bear the thought that he would have to endure them alone.

Cas’ lips were moving, but all that was escaping was a wordless scream. Dean shook his head, not understanding as Cas’ agitation only grew. He looked around at each member of his family crouched next to him, and terror dominated his expression.

“Eyes!” The word was strangled. “Help—”

Suddenly, the sound of Cas’ screams cut out at the same moment the world turned black. Dean’s vocal chords strained around Cas’ name, around Sam’s name, but he couldn’t hear either. He felt Cas in front of him, writhing and solid and silent, felt the hard concrete under his knees, felt the fabric of a jacket as he reached out blindly with his other hand. But all he saw was blackness. Fear roared inside him. He couldn’t see his family, he didn’t know what was happening to Cas. Had he gone blind? Deaf? Was Cas looking to him for a final comfort?

Worst of all was when Cas’ hand went limp.

Dean was pretty sure he was losing his mind. He was sure he was screaming, sure he was yelling himself hoarse, cursing the Empty, Billie, God. He dropped his hand from what he was pretty sure was Sam’s shoulder and moving it to his own face. He felt wetness there, sweat or tears he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that Cas wasn’t moving and he had no idea what to do except clutch that hand in between both his own and hope.

Just as suddenly as it had vanished, sound returned. He heard his own name in Sam’s voice and a moment later, his brother’s scared face materialised in front of him, and Jack was there too, his own face pale and scrunched in confusion and discomfort as he shook himself. There was also a horrible, burbling sound that it took him far too long to realise was coming from him. He took a deep breath to stop it and looked over at where the Empty and Billie had been stood.

They were gone.

“What the hell was that?” Dean asked, his voice raspy and worn out.

“No idea,” Sam said, looking a little ill. “But it really sucked.”

“Yeah.” As the adrenaline leaked away from his brain, leaving his extremities tingling, he flexed his hand and found he was still holding onto something.

Cas!

With a jolt, Dean looked at the still figure lying on the ground. His eyes were closed and there were black shapes on the floor extending from his shoulders.

“No,” He moaned, squeezing his eyes shut again, flashbacks of a cabin, of another joyous moment turned to ash, of a grief so heavy he’d buckled under it the first time, how could anyone ask him to even lift it now?

He heard Sam swallow next to him, clearly floundering for whatever words he thought Dean needed to hear.

He heard Jack’s breath hitch, then. “Wait. Look!”

Dean blinked heavily. Jack was staring at the black marks, then he reached forward and picked up a feather. Four inches long and inky black, the thing gleamed in the poor light. Despite the urgent pleas of his heart, Dean looked more closely at what he had assumed to be just scorch marks. There were more feathers. Loads of them, filling in gaps in the patchy outlines of Cas’ wings. They were how Cas’ wings had looked the last time Dean had seen their shadows; there weren’t enough feathers to make the wings complete, Cas had shed plenty over the years after all, but there were still dozens of them. All the feathers Cas had had left, if Dean were to guess. He didn’t know what to make of it and although he could hear Sam’s brain whirring as it tried to put the pieces together, Dean couldn’t quite bring himself to care what it meant. He leaned over Cas and smoothed the hair back from his forehead, numbness crawling its way along Dean’s limbs and tightening around his nerves. He arranged the body how he would if the pyre was already built, pretty sure someone was talking around him but unable to take any of it in. He adjusted the coat, laid Cas’ hands carefully by his sides, fixed the tie.

While he did that last one, his hand passed over Cas’ chest and he felt a flutter beneath his fingertips. He paused for a second and felt it again. Hope surged through him so fast it was painful. He pressed his palm to Cas’ chest and waited. Please, please, please, please, please.

Thump.

“He’s alive!”

Dean began to gently tap his fingers against Cas’ cheek, calling for him over and over again, his other hand feeling the steady, human beat of Cas’ heart.

“Come on, sweetheart, wake up.”

Cas groaned, the most wonderful sound that had ever graced Dean’s ears. All the air escaped him as Cas began to twitch, his eyelids fluttered and he blinked them open.

“I love you too,” Dean blurted out, physically unable to keep the words in any more. “I love you so freaking much Cas, and I’m real glad you’re not dead.”

“Me too,” Cas said blearily, pushing himself to a sitting position, only to be bowled over again by Dean launching himself into his arms. Corny or not he couldn’t help it. He needed to hold him, surround himself in Cas’ warmth and Cas’ smell and Cas’ love. He needed to feel the life around them. “You make me very happy, Dean.”

Dean said nothing, but he shoved his face in closer to Cas’ neck.

After a few moments he deemed himself recovered enough to pull back and help Cas to his unsteady feet. Jack moved in for the next hug and Cas’ eyes went soft with wonder as he embraced his son, finally allowed to feel the joy that such a gesture brought. Sam was next, pulling him into a sasquatch-worthy bone-crushing hug and whispering something that Dean couldn’t catch, though their grins were bright and a little teary as they separated.

Cas then looked down at the feathers scattered on the ground and bent to gather a few. “Angel feathers can be useful spell ingredients,” he said by way of an explanation as he stuffed them into his coat pocket. “And it’s not as though I have a use for them anymore.”

“You know, we could try and find a way… if you wanted...” Dean started to offer, and even though Dean wasn’t sure if the Empty had completely destroyed Cas’ grace or what and had no idea how to even start that quest, he knew with certainty that he would find a way if that was what Cas chose.

Cas was already shaking his head, a small smile on his lips.

“No. I think… I think I’m tired of being an angel. I don’t want to watch humanity anymore, I want to be a part of it. I want to enjoy this, every moment that I get to love and be loved in return is a treasure I never could have imagined before I met you.”

“So… home?” Dean asked, more than ready to start building the rest of his life with his brother, his son and this newly-human man who had never looked like more of an angel to him.

Cas nodded and reached for him, slotting their fingers together.

“Home.”

[theheightofdishonor]

Top 10 Battles in the Metal Saga (in no particular order)

Kyoya-Ryuga 

There aren’t many battles that are just about raw power the way this one is. The whole thing is just so extra, from ruining the stadium before the battle even begins to ending with Ryuga’s possession and Kyoya passing out with a dragon’s tail going through his chest. The power-play between these two is riveting. And on top of that, it’s the closest anyone but Gingka and Nemesis ever gets to beating Ryuga. However, it does annoy me that Kyoya is the only one of Ryuga’s opponents in Battle Bladers who comes out unaffected in the long-term. After their respective battles, Hikaru retires from Beyblade, Tsubasa suffers with possession, and both experience a healthy dose of PTSD but apparently, Kyoya gets away with no signs of it? I call bullshit. 

2.Da Xian - Julian 

If you didn’t love Da Xiang before, you had to after this battle. It did a brilliant job of highlighting how good Dashan is at manipulating people, and doing so “coolly, and brilliantly”. Dashan sees the scene as the opportunity it is and coaxes Julian from a disheartened shell of his former self to someone who’s willing to try again without the man even knowing. Oh, and he gets Julian to appreciate the value of his friends too. And beats him in battle easily. And delivers, “You think you and I are alike? That’s an insult, ” decimating Julian’s remaining pride. Talk about being cool. (Chao Xin should definitely take pointers)

3. Gingka vs 100 (supposedly) Face Hunters 

I had a hard time choosing between this and the battle earlier in the episode where Gingka first saves Kenta from Face Hunters, but I think this holds more impact and the one Kenta thinks is more notable. As a fight itself, it’s short compared to some of the other more epic battles on this list, and its placement is more about the consequences of it than the contents of the actual battle itself.  It’s the moment where Kenta’s admiration for Gingka really cements, and the moment that Kyoya takes a serious interest in him, shaping his relationship with two people who will be monumental in his life. Also, Gingka looks super cool and baby Kenta is adorable. 

 4.  Excalibur-Gan Gan Galaxy 

This battle has one of my favourite scenes of ALL TIME- Masamune single-handedly cutting through Sophie and Wales’s joint special move. Let me just take a second to gush about how powerful he is and how much I love him and how he deserves so much more love and did I mention he stopped the twins in their track with ONE MOVE. Your fave could never but if I don’t stop now, i’ll be talking about Masamune all day. 

The visual of Pegasus and Striker moving as one force, with the music crescendoing only for Destroyer to cut them down at the climax, is breathtaking. Seriously, I’ve watched that one scene on repeat and my breath catches. 

I love to see Masamune and Gingka work together as a team, especially because it’s not their preferred dynamic and it doesn’t always come easily to them. But when they try, they’re magic together, partially because they’re so alike. This is the only battle where we get the full force of the Y-Masamune-Gingka dynamic, a god-tier trio who can only possess one brain cell when they’re together because otherwise, they’d be way too strong. Let’s be real. If these morons actually combined their intelligence, they would have crushed Excalibur to dust. We need more scenes with them tbh

As a side note, it was not at all ok for these guys to crash the festival or for Yu to ruin a culturally important arena. It’s played off way to lightheartedly for my tastes.  It’s not even the only time they’re insensitive- in Fury, Yu and Kyoya damage ancient ruins and Gingka’s group explicitly disobeys orders to not step on a sacred volcano. The whole thing is kinda gross and the Metal Saga should address its serious disregard for other cultures. Sophie losing her shit on a literal 12 year old was funny though. 

5. The Legendary Bladers-Nemesis part 2 

This is a pretty long battle, I linked it to where the battle begins but it doesn’t end until the end of the next episode. There’s a lot about this battle that drives me crazy- like why are you people just letting Kenta destroy himself, why are the strongest bladers in the world who were specifically chosen for this battle unable to withstand for more than two hits, etc  BUT- this is when Ryuga hands over the Star Fragment which is cool and emotional enough to let everything else slide. It’s a pretty satisfying conclusion to the Kenta-Ryuga arc and rings parallel to Metal Fusion down to Ryuga pulling a Storm Pegasus and disappearing into thin air.Which talking about, I will forever be mad Storm Pegasus doesn’t ever come into play after Metal Fusion. Shogun Steel would have been such a perfect time to bring Storm Pegasus back to play and assure in a new era- such wasted potential, but I digress. 

Oh, and friendly reminder that Yu’s Inferno Blast breaks through Rago’s barrier while 8 Legendary Bladers combined couldn’t leave a dent on Nemesis. 

6. Kenta-Reiji

Talking about emotional, if you didn’t cry during this battle, you’re a liar- it’s painful to watch. The entire thing with Kenta using Libra’s performance tip and his insistence that he has to win for Yu- it breaks your heart. Reiji is such a great villain because he does exactly what he’s meant to do- make the audience be invested in him. He’s so unnecessarily cruel, so irredeamable, and this episode drills that into your skull. Even the spectators of the match can’t look on as Reiji tortured Kenta well after Sagittario has stopped spinning. 

7. Easter Island

It would take too long to name everyone involved in this, so i’m not going to. But boy is it a ride You’ve got King starting it off with Chris for insulting/defeating/humiliating Masamune- a noble cause if there ever was one. His impassioned defense of his boyfriend is one of the best speeches/declarations in the Saga and is also 80% of the reason this battle is on the list. The guy has his priorities straight, ok. Gingka says it’s either Masamune’s feelings or the world and King chooses Masamune, no questions, no hesitations. Can’t say I blame him. Especially after seeing the heartbreak on Masamune’s face when Chris insults him. But of course, the world is actually more important so 

 Gingka jumps in to stop King which as Benkai mentions, you can’t stop him from battling by actually battling him, so I don’t know what Gingka was thinking. Johannes’s lackies, including Aguma and the Beylin Fist, joins the battle, prompting Zeo, Toby, etc to also join. Then Ryuga appears and starts draining Chris’s power before Kenta stops him (thus publically revealing their affiliation to the world) and the two disappear. Literally everyone is involved, Johannes tells Chris to “man up” when he dares to show pain that Ryuga is literally stealing his power away but then vanishes because he doesn’t want to face Gingka head on yet. Can you say hypocrite? And while this was all happening, Johannes somehow managed to buy Chris’s loyalties.

It’s insane and so much fun. 

8.Tsubasa-Jack

I didn’t expect to put this on the list but I watched it recently and had a newfound appreciation for it so here it is. While the team battle with Excalibur was the climax of Tsubasa’s arc, this was the resolution. It is arguably Tsubasa’s best battle of the series. He made his recovery with Excalibur, had a practice run with the Garcias, and by this battle, Tsubasa is better than ever. There’s a satisfaction in watching Tsubasa beat Jack with ease. After struggling the entire season, it's very cathartic. There’s this one bit where Jack is complaining about battling Ryuga and how Tsubasa can’t possibly know the disappointment he felt  and Tsubasa snaps, because how fucking dare he, who the fuck did Jack think he is. Again, very cathartic.

Irrelevant, but this episode has some of the best quotes including gems like

 “What is this? A bunch of creepy pictures”; 

“Oh dear Tsubasa” queue Jack asking for a battle; 

“You’re really lacking in the culture department” - Jack to Madoka,  “

The rest of Gan-Gan Galaxy are common, unrefined types”.

 The list never ends. Do yourself a favour and watch the episode.

9. Zoe-Toby-Masamune

This is the only season where there’s no one Final Battle but instead two separate climactic moments- Ryuga and Gingka working together to stop Hades City from melting down(?) and Toby and Zeo  fighting to bring Toby back to normal. 

Unlike the Finales in Fusion and Fury, this one’s private, personal. Not only were Ryuga-Gingka battle and the Battle against Nemesis attended by a lot of people, they were also widely broadcasted across the world. In comparison, Toby, Zeo and Masamune (and Ziggurat at one point) are the only ones to witness the Finale in Masters. It’s a very intimate moment. Their friendship is fractured-Toby's brainwashed,  Zeo was manipulated, and there’s still tension because Masamune left them in a time of need. The two of them are finally confronting just how much their friendship has strained: Masamune never imagined Zeo would resent him when he only ever wanted to fulfill Toby’s wish; he’s almost offended Zeo would think so badly of him. On the other hand, Zeo wrestles between accepting Ziggurat manipulated him but also his very valid resentment towards Masamune. They both hurt each other but get past it and forgive each other for the sake of their best friend. Bey battles are when bladers communicate through each other and in this one, these three use it to find their way back to each other. 

10.  

Gingka-Kyoya

Of course, the list wouldn’t be complete without a Gingka-Kyoya battle. Despite Kyoya being Gingka’s second biggest rival, they only have 3 complete battles with a clear winner. (Kyoya is disqualified in Survival Battle, and neither won in the Championships Team battle or the one in Fury). Despite there being so few options, it was still hard for me to choose because they’re all brilliant and my opinion changes every other day. 

Honestly, I didn’t remember why I chose this battle, so I went back in and re-watched it- SO many thoughts. For one thing, Kyoya sounds like a cheesy bat man villain.  Seriously though, the battle feels so off to me because in this episode, Kyoya is more or less just another evil villain; a pale foreshadow of what Ryuga will become in the Final Battle. I’m not even kidding. This hits almost the exact beats that the Gingka-Ryuga battle will.  I didn’t like this battle when I re-watched it for this post. Gingka and Kyoya’s battles are important because of the history and bond they share and in this battle, neither of those are solidified and it’s just not as satisfying. 

I will admit though that this battle was important for them, mostly Kyoya who was headed towards unhinged-Ryuga territory before Gingka saved him. It kickstarts Kyoya into being the lovable grump we know he’s capable of being and creates a debt towards Gingka which in turn develops into an actual friendship. It’s an important step of their journey and I can’t begrudge it too much ig. If you really want to watch a Gingka-Kyoya battle for non-thematic reasons, though, I recommend the World Championships or the one in Metal Fury Ep 1

[mysterylover123]

BNHA Rewatch: Episode 37 “Katsuki Bakugo: Orgin”

 mysterylover123

Oh My God. It’s This One.

The opening is a flashback recap of everything that’s built us up to this. Simply put, in Bakugo’s mind, he hasn’t achieved a single victory since he arrived at UA. This is his chance to prove himself. In Deku’s mind, they’re up against an impossible foe and their only chance is to run, because who could ever defeat All Might (I guess this proves OVA 1 definitely isn’t canon, sadly, since if that was true by this point they’d have already done just that).

At the start of the match, Bakugo is completely in his own Baku-lane, Deku in his. Deku has no confidence in himself and Kacchan to win; Bakugo has no willingness to listen to any alternative ideas. They aren’t listening to each other. BTW, the framing on the anime panel in this scene doesn’t make Bakugo such an irresponsible idiot: He does walk next to Deku initially and tries to talk to him, and doesn’t blow him off for nearly 5 hours ahead of time. 

Asshole. Though Deku gets to punch him back in a few scenes. Give it time.

On the other hand, they may have reached Peak “Like an Old Married Couple” vibes in this scene. “I don’t need to stop and ask for directions!” “This is why we never have real conversations”.

Holy shit they think the same thing at the same time. Maybe they’re not so different after all.

While this does show Baku’s determination, it also shows that he’s reached Deku territory of “I don’t care what happens to me as long as I achieve my goal”.

And for those of you looking for catharsis for Bakugo being a jerk, let’s start up a “Bakugo Owned Counter” for this ep. Starting with: Head smashed into the dirt by All Might (1) 

Deku just can’t abandon his teammate directly. If it weren’t for Bakugo, he’d never have even considered hitting All Might. They kinda need each other.

We all knew Deku would be the little spoon.

RG metas a bit about them and wisely points out that Deku admires All Might too much. Also, she wonders what’s driving him. Don’t we all. And we’re about to get our answer: I WILL WIN. THAT’S WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A HERO. (win vs save)

OW NO NOT MY DEKU!

Bakugo owned counter: 2. Punched so hard he vomits.

Deku  yells out in concern for his boyfriend and flashes back to a time when Kacchan was an adorable little moppet who thought All Might was so cool too. Because he always won! (And there’s Deku watching with love struck eyes).

Mentally, Deku admits that he ‘always admired him for that’. You could say he’s your..image of victory? Eh? Eh?

All Might starts giving him the lecture from DVK2  but gets interrupted. 

Bakugo owned count: 3. So insecure that he just gives up.

Yep. NOt because Bakugo picks on him, not because he’s an asshole, not because he hit him earlier, but because he was willing to give up on and betray who he really is. That’s how much Deku cares. (Bakugo owned count: 4).

Now some fanservice-y anime filler: Deku carrying Kacchan 

Deku gushing over Kacchan  (OMG BB DEKU IS SO CUTE AND SO IN LURV!)

Kacchan Kabe-doning Deku. For all his temper, Bakugo does have a point: Running away from All Might does no good. The only chance they got is to hit AM with everything they’ve got.

Each one proceeds to borrow a piece of the other’s arsenal: Deku borrows Kacchan’s gauntlet, and with it his courage and willingness to face All Might head on. What Baku borrows from Deku is more intransient, but...hell, I think I’ll just make a list:

WHAT DEKU HAS THAT BAKUGOU NEEDS:

1. Teamwork and cooperation/respect for others

Deku is great at teamwork and can cooperate with anyone. He showcased this in the Hero Killer arc especially, working with Shoto.

2. Kindness and empathy

Well, Duh. 

3. Humility

Also duh.

4. Saving other people; the spirit of self-sacrifice 

Yep. Triple yes.

WHAT BAKUGOU HAS THAT DEKU NEEDS:

1. Power and the willingness to use it

Not just being born with a powerful quirk, but knowing how to apply it.

2. Confidence

Believing in yourself.

3. Optimism

Believing in a good future. Deku is too melancholic for it.

4. The ability to go plus-ultra in the face of a wall.

Smiling in the face of defeat. Demanding the best from your opponent.

IN THIS EP, EACH ONE TAKES ONE OF THE OTHER’S POWERS.

KACCHAN: 1. Teamwork: Works together with Deku to beat All Might. 2. Empathy...communicates his actual thoughts to someone. 3. Humility: Chooses the escape gate to win. 4: Saving others: Throws himself in All Might’s path to protect Deku.

DEKU: 1. Power: Both the gauntlet and Full Cowl to Knock AM in the face. 2. Confidence: Learns to believe they could’ve even KO’s All Might. 3. Optimism: Re; the above. 4. Smiling in the face of a Wall: Just behold.

BACK TO THE EPISODE SORRY FOR THE ESSAY

Their complicated feels about each other (manga panels for text) Denial. hahaha

Wow Deku turns around fast. “Wow did we actually beat him?” “No, jeez, hypocritical much, ya damn nerd?”

Bakugou owned count: 5 (kneed so hard in the face he goes crashing into a building)

Bakugo owned count: 6 (smacked down with his own bf) & 7 (Crushed beneath All Might’s foot)

NOW KISS!!!!!!

Oh eff you All Might! (There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say but damn that looked like it hurt!) Is it me or has UA fucked Deku up more directly than Tomura ever has? Seriously, Shigaraki hasn’t done any direct harm to Deku yet, certainly nothing on the level of breaking his effing back. 

Smiling in the face of a wall. Oh man that pain animation tho...Oh and Deku guesses what he’ll do, of course, because...you know, mind mates, stuff like that.

“I’LL BREAK MYSELF” OH GOD THE FEELS HE’S JUST LIKE HIS S/O

“HOW DARE YOU? THAT’S MY KACCHAN!!!!”

TOGA AND DABI!

The metaphor of Ep 37 is pretty obvious. The two halves of the future greatest hero, the kids who each want to be just like him, having to defeat their idol at least once in battle to prove they can do it. And only by working together and learning from each other can they become the greatest heroes who both win and rescue. I love this one, as a fight, as an episode, as a season finale. It’s all around a winner. Just like it’s title character.

(no need for the corner, of course. The whole episode is the corner).

RANKER: Best Bakugou Quotes

5. “I will win this. That’s what it means to be a hero, Deku.”

4. “Can't stand morons like you who can't get to the damned point! Basically you're saying, 'we wanna cause trouble, be our pal!' What a joke! I've always admired All Might's triumphs. No matter what any of you jerks say... Nothing's ever gonna change that”

3. “If all you ever do is look down on others, you’ll never learn to recognize your own weaknesses.”

2. “So why, why was I the reason for All Might’s end?”

1. “I break...and break...myself. Even if there’s nothing left of me,  I will win the way I want to.”

[deadguildnstrn-blog]

Mrati Mudir Aam (1966)

How do you change somebody’s mind regarding an issue? You make them laugh at themselves. You make them see how ridiculous their disposition really is while being very careful not to offend their sensitive egos. So how can you apply that to a heavy problem like misogyny? Being misogynistic is the most illogical thing one could possibly be: it is irrational to think half the population is less deserving of pay when they’re doing the exact same amount of work and it is ludicrous to blame a victim of assault for the way they chose to dress. How do you then get it through the thick skulls of a traditional audience without calling them morons? You simply represent it as a light-hearted yet reprimanding joke placed in the mouths of adored actors at the height of their fame. I think that’s exactly what the creators of Mrati Mudir Aam (1966), starring Shadia and Salah Zulfakar, did. The movie starts in an unusual part of a love story, the lovers are already married and still extremely happy despite the fact that they’ve been married for years with the wife being newly promoted to general manager and soon enough we realize that she will now be her husband’s superior. After the initial comedic reactions from the other workers when they realize their new boss is a woman that range from religious fury to casual cynical sexism, they all meet her for the first time including her husband who wasn’t aware that she was positioned in the same facility that he works in. He is understandably shaken by this disruption to their lives and asks her if they could keep their marriage a secret from their colleagues and what follows are a series of situations the couple are put through where this complication tests their relationship. The movie meticulously deals with several issues all at once, it shows all the different reasons for which a person could be sexist, shows a woman excelling in a leadership role despite the ridiculous situations she’s put in for being female. It candidly displays the effects of the power imbalance produced by a similar situation on a relationship. It‘s also a guide for what a healthy modern relationship should look like, with no gendered stereotypes (where the woman happens to be far more ambitious than the man) and a mutual respect that never wavers. The relationship in this movie is built on equality, it shines through every aspect of their shared lives, the end scene is quite literally both of them pushing their broken-down car down the road and neither have to put in more effort than the other to sustain it. The dynamics are truthful to that of a real relationship with its ups and downs where both parties try their hardest to pursue their own dreams while keeping the other happy. The romance, always alive between them regardless of how many years have passed since they first met, is represented in how gently they treat one another more than through grand gestures of affection.

There are many reasons why this movie is fairly different than anything else that was made in the same period, but i think it was the first to deliver feminism to its audience without them knowing. The first time our protagonist enters her new office she is greeted with an eager secretary dismissing her as a helpless young woman in need of assistance, not giving her a beat to explain that she’s his new boss till she assertively informs him of her identity and as we laugh at his dumbfounded expression we also celebrate her first victory. These kinds of compound feelings play on the subconscious, you automatically root for the underdog and want her to prove every employee who underestimates her wrong so you feel warmth when at the end they react to her departure from her position with tears. When the iconic Abu Elkheir character shows his two faces, the sexist who thinks women “lack in mind and faith” and the brownnoser who tells her she’s the best employer he’s ever had, the hilarious exaggeration of the hypocrite makes you wary of those kinds of people.

A running gag is one of her younger employees reading a sociological book about how to treat women and decides to test the book’s theories on her aiming for a promotion, when he tries the ‘dominant’ technique he is met with fury and is sent to the disciplinary board, cowering away he curses the book’s author who we find out is also a man. The movie even points out the absurdity of jumping to conclusions in a scene where her husband is stuck on the bus and overhears a few men scoff at a woman in a car assuming it’s her husband’s and that he lent it to her to go get the groceries when in fact it was actually our heroine in the office car. In a comedic sense these scenes are a treasure, not only are they subtle nods and prods at our flawed society but most importantly, at their core, they ridicule these practices.

The climax of this trope comes in one of my favorite scenes of all time: A dinner party is held in our boss-lady’s honor and accordingly she takes her husband with her but while she sits with the governor and all the other managers who are mostly men, discussing the proper conduct of a true patriotic communist, he is stuck with their wives chatting away about fashion and food. The wives are keen on his opinions and try to include him as much as possible in their discussions, but when he’s asked about his take on breastfeeding alternatives and he replies: “.. the mother that doesn’t breastfeed doesn’t deserve to give birth”, they immediately ask him if he’s ever given birth before. This joke is the original No Uterus, No Opinion.

These kinds of movies are as important as drama pieces that portray women struggling against patriarchal societies in a tragic light. While the latter sometimes have the power to change judicial laws, the former play on the general public’s subconscious, normalizing the kind of extreme progressive practices shown on screen. This particular movie was made at the height of the Shadia craze, she was starring in as many as 5 movies a year, and it came out following another iconic movie with her costar Zulfakar: Aghla Min Hayaty (1965) that was an intense romantic drama that captured Cairo’s heart so Mirati Mudir Aam was a phenomenal hit. Shadia was the symbol of romance in Egypt for well over two decades so having this movie under her belt is a win in my books. You can rarely find movies made in the last few decades that take such a blasé attitude towards feminism. One example that comes to mind is the now barely-recognized Bebo W Beshir(2011). And what a waste? Our culture is saturated with icons and our society filled with diverse stories to fill libraries. Every once in a while though, great young minds come together to create something that’s never been done before like the extraordinary Ext. Night that was released earlier this year. When I saw this movie in the theatre (it was left in cinemas for all of 3 seconds), I felt hope.

[the-detectives-blogger]

I’m really...fucking upset, and I”m honestly not sure where to rant about this, so I’ll just rant about it here, and hope that somebody hears me, someone listens.

So I’m in a bunch of Facebook groups, mainly for the memes and the amusing tagging that goes on. I don’t participate except in a select few - and I mean a really select few, ones where I feel safe contributing at all. Mainly Jewish groups actually, with other Jewish women in them, talking about our lives, worries, politics, tips for making challah bread, prayers for each other. It’s really nice. <3 

The other groups, the meme groups, there’s a lot of bullies in there, I don’t mind having them for tagging purposes but I’ve been doxxed online before and it nearly killed me. I mean that literally, I fell into such a deep dark hole of...uber depression...didn’t eat, didn’t sleep, didn’t move, not for months. It was bad. It was really, really, really fucking bad. And I get triggered easily about it. Less easily now, thank God, baruch Hashem, it’s been a few years, but it’s not the type of thing you ever really forget. When the internet trolls rip out your heart and post it everywhere for all to see, with your face and your full name, calling you a cunt and a weeaboo and - it was bad. 

Anyway.

So I don’t participate in the bullying/memeing groups. But I’m on steroids this week, because I have chronic sciatica pain - the sciatica nerve is the one at the base of your spine, and for people like me for whom it’s pinched, it flares up and the pain is indescribable. A lot of the pain comes from inflammation and OTC meds weren’t cutting it so my very helpful doctor put me on steroids to kill the inflammation. Which is working, yay! But the steroids, being steroids, lol, are definitely also making me more aggressive than usual and more prone to snap, less patient. I’m doing my best with it but it’s steroids, they do what they do in my body, my brain.

All this brings us to last night. I was kind of out of my mind on the nightly steroid dose, browsing Facebook, and I come across a post. The group is a bisexuality-focused group, an identity I..identify with, lol. I have to paraphrase this since I didn’t grab screenshots, but as best I can remember it:

OP: Real talk. Can we talk about how WEIRD it is that some people are only attracted to ONE GENDER?! Like??? Look at Blake Lively. Look at Robert Downey Jr. Are you honestly telling me you wouldn’t fuck them both given the chance???  Poster 1: This is uh - this is kind of homophobic? Aren’t you erasing the identities and experiences of lesbians and gay men? They have to struggle hard to be accepted as well.  OP: Psh NO, are you serious rn?? Are you saying I’m heterophobic which doesn’t exist lmao???  Poster 1: No, I’m saying you’re being homophobic, like, gay men also exist and shouldn’t be forced to be into women if they’re not.  OP: Well if you’re offended, I’m sorry, but you’re choosing to feel that way. That’s on you. If you choose to see that in what I wrote, I can’t help that, if you’re offended. Me: Uh. Look, I don’t know if I want to get involved in the rest of the debate here but saying “I’m sorry if you’re offended” is an abuse tactic. You’re victim blaming Poster 1, saying that it’s on them if you hurt them...it’s not. It’s on you. Don’t victim blame people, that’s super not okay. OP: I didn’t say ‘I’m sorry if you’re offended’ I said ‘If you’re offended, I’m sorry’. Huge difference. Me: There is literally no difference.  OP: There is a massive difference. Admin flying in: Nobody’s victim blaming :[. [OP puts a ‘love’ react on this post because now they feel supported by authority...in their fucking victim blaming and abuse tactics.] OP: I just said people can be bisexual. Admin: Yeah I’m not going to prevent people talking about bisexuality in a bisexuality group. Me: This has nothing to do with the sexualities in question, it’s a question of how we’re talking to one another, treating one another, and of mental illness questions. You were victim blaming OP, and if you’re offended, that’s on you. :) OP: I wasn’t victim blaming tho. Admin: like this is a bisexual group and we’re here to talk about being bisexual  [OP+admin are at this point ‘loving’ each other’s fucking posts ove rand over and over again, supporting each other and growing FUCKING stronger, making me feel more and more alone and backed into a goddamn corner] Me: Okay. Whatever. I fucking give up. I’m not going to fight you, OP. You did a bad thing but if you don’t want to own it, that’s on you. You still have to treat people well regardless of their sexuality. have a good night. The fucking thread proceeded without me. I deleted my comments, super done and not wanting to be doxxed again, thinking, like, this is why I don’t fucking get involved, it never fucking works, standing up for the fucking little guy doesn’t work, standing up for people’s rights not to be FUCKING ABUSED doesn’t work, let alone her extremely clear homophobia, but The Admin Has Spoken so clearly I lose. If Authority is against you it’s hard to fucking win.

I messaged that admin just asked if she could take down the comments where my name is tagged; I deleted the ones I posted but I don’t want my name on this bullshit anymore.

Woke up this morning. Not only have I been booted and blocked from the fucking group, the admin wrote me back to say “I'm fine with editing it out of my comments, I'm not deleting everyones because they tagged you. I will let them know you are requesting and why.”

BITCH

THAT STILL

INVOLVES

MY FUCKING 

NAME

YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING BLOODY MORON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So not only am I now having a fucking triggered fucking panic attack BECAUSE OF FUCKING YOU, because you don’t care about mental illness or triggers or abuse or PTSD, just about your little meme group, I can’t do anything about it or see it, you’ve made me fucking powerless by banning me from the group YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FIRST Of ALL, YES that girl was being fucking homophboic. Okay??? Saying “omg other sexualities are so weird” isn’t HEPLFUL, it isn’t KIND or COMPASSIONATE or UNDERSTANDING. Straight people and gay people and lesbians really! do! exist! and are only attracted to one gender. Bisexual people also really! do! exist! and are attracted to multiple genders. But nobody gets to say that the other sexualities are fucking ‘weird’ or unacceptable in any way.

SECONDLY, if you don’t keep in fucking mind the way you’re fucking speaking to people while you’re doing leftist shit, fuck you. Intersectionality says that we all exist as multiple identities all at once, we’re not just one thing or the other, o fucking kay? I am not merely bisexula, I’m also an abuse survivor, a PTSD sufferer, depression and anxiety and physical disability. For fuck’s sake. MY SEXUALITY IS NOT THE ONLY ASPECT OF MY IDENTITY THAT MATTERS. YOU COCK. 

And if you’re triggering me it’s the part of my identity that suddenly matters least, because you’re triggering the parts of me that will take over the others, so FUCK YOU, YOU ABSOLUITE WANKER ASSHOLE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCKYOUFUCK YOU FUC YOU FYCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

okay. I just...I just needed to fucking vent. Jesus bloody christ.

We cannot exist in leftist circles and spaces without keeping in mind how we speak to people, how we treat people. We cannot call ourselves leftists, liberal, if we trade in compassion for sexual identity. You do not get to check your humanity at the door when you pick up a bisexual pride flag. You do not get to leave your understanding behind. And I will call you on it forever, and ever, and ever, because I do not hold with hypocrites, or abusers, no matter what flag they fly. 

[possiblytheworstideaieverhad]

Tonight’s Episode of The Flash Pissed Me Off So Bad, Reading More of This Seems Better By Comparison (Seriously, Fuck “Lose Yourself” With a Spork, Ralph Dibny Did Not Need To Fucking Die, Fuck You Season 4)

I’m not happy.

“Deeper breathing brought greater calm, and greater calm brought clearer thinking.” Okay, give the book this much, at least: that is some good advice right now, awkwardly worded as it may be.

And then the zombie starts dying from daylight, but Steve assumes the zombie is upset that he mused upon the smart idea of building a weapon, so maybe Steve needs to breath deeper.

“Had it heard me? Were we having an actual conversation?” Well, you were saying words out loud, and you were responding to noises, technically you were...

Steve starts panicking, assuming he hurt the zombie’s feelings (for the love of fuck, the stupidity hurts and yet this is exactly the kind of pain I need right now), and he winds up apologizing to the creature who is unable to think, let alone emote, for so long, he fails to realize that it is now dead.

And when I said “fails to realize”, I mean:

“Was the zombie building a fire outside my hole and trying to smoke me out? Could zombies do that?”

NO YOU FUCKING MORON

Steve decides to dig himself out just in case, and all he sees is a slab of Rotten Flesh on the ground, so yeah, RIP Zombie. You almost made the book end early.

“The fringes were charred like a burnt burger[.]” I mention this quote as an aside: if you are among the group of people that like their food being burned, you are an idiot. Carry on.

Steve, showing off more of his intellectual skills, thinks the zombie left part of himself as a trap to lure Steve out, and the following quote is me letting you know I am not lying to you:

“I darted across the sand, thinking that this was a trap and the zombie might be waiting on the hill just above me. It wasn’t. The coast, literally, was clear. ‘Hey, Dead Dude!’ I shouted, holding up the hunk of rot. ‘You forgot yourself?’“

You could say that the zombie even went so far as to lose himse

Okay, look, seriously, I’m sorry, but I can’t let this fucking thing go, I’m going off on a tangent for a bit, so I’m going to make this one big ass paragraph so you can skip it if you feel so inclined. I know that this is a blog about the Minecraft book, but fuck it, this is the maddest “The Flash” has made me this entire fucking season. I thought things were doing alright, I actually liked Ralph, despite a decent chunk of people I saw not liking him all that well, you know. And then the show decided to do the DeVoe plot, and I got kind of concerned, because they were building up DeVoe to be so smart, he’s ten steps ahead of Team Flash, and they don’t even know what game they’re playing yet (rather appropriate, since the season’s almost over, and we still don’t know what DeVoe’s fucking plan is), so I wasn’t really all that looking forward to the rest of the season. And then came “Don’t Run”, which not only introduced the “DeVoe can now steal bodies” aspect to the narrative, it also kickstarted the “Trial of the Flash” arc; sidenote, I fucking hate “Trial of the Flash”, any story that sees the main characters get fucked over so bad and sent to prison (see My Name is Earl’s second season finale/first third of season three) is dogshit, plain and simple. Granted, they wound up spending, like, four episodes on it, and then Barry is allowed to leave prison, but then they go full head first into the “DeVoe stealing bodies” thing, and I kept getting more and more upset and angry over how he kept winning, he’s so far gone that he’s drugging and mindwiping his wife, no one knows what to do, and then “Lose Yourself” happens, and just when it seems like they finally are going to stop DeVoe, it turns out this was all his plan, and the climax of the episode sees him stealing Ralph’s body, effectively killing him, fuck this episode, fuck this season, and fuck “The Flash”, good fucking night.

...except not really, because there’s still more of this book I want to read for this part.

Okay, so, before I went off on that fucking tear, Steve confirmed that the zombie was just a slab of meat now. He then realizes that the Sun is to blame. And thankfully, after getting briefly hung up on that fact (due to vampires usually having the sun weakness), Steve wisely drops it, since this ain’t normal reality, and he shouldn’t assume things. After all, you know that saying about people who assume...

But that doesn’t stop him from wondering how the hole he dug hadn’t collapsed yet, but whatever, thank God for small miracles.

However, that does allow him to realize that he can easily dig tunnels and holes for shelter, no problem, so again, thank God for small miracles.

But then Steve assumes (hypocrite) that there’s a possibility that there’s some sort of “natural sanctuary” out on the island, and this is me putting $5 even on Steve never stumbling across a Village during this book. Calling it now.

But what the island lacks in caves, it makes up for in cows, as Steve notices some chilling about, which he considers proof that the sun “chased” the monsters away.

Uh, yeah, they’re dead, bro.

But then, as if Steve did fuck all for the past few minutes (perish the thought), it’s suddenly noon time, meaning he’s going to have to go back into the hole soon. “How short are the days here?” Well, a quick Google search tells me 20 minutes total, 10 for day, 7 for night, the remainder for dusk and dawn, respectively, so, about the length of an “Always Sunny” episode.

After climbing down from (what Steve has dubbed) Disappointment Hill (which I am renaming “Fuck Steve”, because fuck Steve), Steve considers ripping off LOST.

“Using nothing but my hands I punched out enough dirt blocks to spell the word ‘HELP!’ Maybe a low-flying airplane or even a high-flying satellite will see it, I thought.”

And then the Smoke Monster will eat you, and it will turn out you were actually in Heaven the whole time, I don’t know, LOST’s ending made no sense.

“But I’m getting ahead of myself.” I agree, I’m going to stop here for now, lest I go off on another tear about “The Flash”, and this has to become the title of the blog now:

I referenced “Always Sunny” earlier, I had to.

[dwestfieldblog]

THERE IS NO SAFE WORD

ATEH MALKUTH, VE-GEBURAH, VE-GEDULLAH, LE-OLAHM...

Anybody who understands my music will never be unhappy again. Beethoven. That sounds like a cue for a song...and here it is...

Well, now we know the actual defined amount of stubborn dumb stupidity for sure in America. Over 70 million morons. Loved seeing Trump jr call on his dad to wage ‘Total war’ (A phrase Goebbels used in Berlin 1943 when the allies were approaching... and we know how that ended, go on Big Don, do the honourable thing for the first time in your foul life.) Junior also said ‘It’s time to clean up this mess and stop looking like a banana republic’. Why yes son, it is, so off you all pop. Daddy is busy implanting his loyalists in the Pentagon and already thinking of running in 2024 but by then he should either be in prison or in exile on a tiny freezing Scottish island with a one hole golf course where he can still cheat. Seems likely he, family and their backers are planning to make good use of their through the looking glass rabies crazed sheep and continue to destabilize America for the Kremlin. Loved that the orange psychopath tweeted early ‘I WON THIS ELECTION, BY A LOT!’ and watched as he demanded all votes be counted...and the more they were, the more he lost by. HILARIOUS.

And his call to arms to ‘Stand back and stand by’ to The Proud Boys, who are not far right Nazi thugs at all no sir. To misuse Hunter S Thompson’s genius for the hundredth time, I hope that this is where the wave (of populist filth Trump has been riding) finally breaks and rolls back. But over 70 million morons say different. The 80 million who voted for the other guy must be happy there are so many who can clean the streets and fill the shelves at food shops. Education needs to be improved in America and Britain next year, a ‘LOT’.

January 20th 2021...Celebrate with joy the end of a despotic douche bag...allow the world to feel lighter. Republicans, you should feel ashamed. America, this bastard has been undoing your Constitution like a prom queen’s girdle for a button mushroom quickie rape for four years and couldn’t have cared less about Covid and how many of you died...as he said ‘It is what it is’. So SAD!!!! Arf. Donald, you are and were nothing more than a spoiled five year old brat with as much empathy for humanity as a lizard. A banishing ritual will need to be performed in around the White House...call up the Native Indians, the witches and South Park and cleanse the area of astral poison. The swamp will be drained when the deranged incubus’s entire family of scheming wannabe aristocrats vacates for good.And don’t let him sit at a little table to pardon them and himself.Lowlifes...speaking of whom...

It has taken a lot to make me smile this year (what, you too huh?) but seeing Rudy Giuliani giving a press conference between a porn book store and a funeral parlour in a parking lot did it. The T family, Jared, Rudy, Pompeo, Paula White (the Unchristian millionaire), the slurring ‘star witness’ Melissa Carone, spokeswoman Kayleigh with her cute little cross and all the rest of those despicable liars must all be flushed down the drains, no second chances, repentance or absolution.And as for Dr Scott Atlas telling the American public to ‘rise up’ against the safety measures called for by the state against Covid...A doctor telling you to ignore the rule against large indoor gatherings etc. A doctor.RISE UP? 12 million cases in the US as of mid November...254 thousand dead. That number is rising fast. Good luck from keeping the world falling on you Atlas, Wonder what the orange one offered him to blab such stinking dung. Another doctor with a hypocritical oath.

The smug toad Steve Bannon on yet another shitestirring podcast,spoke about beheading virologist Dr Fauci and the Director of the FBI Christopher Wray...‘I’d put the heads on pikes, right. I’d put them at the two corners of the White House as a warning to federal bureaucrats, you either get with the programme or you are gone.’Twitter banned him outright (and how long did that take?) but the ever wonderful facebook didn’t think that advocating murder online like any other good fundamentalist was reason enough. They believe in the first amendment, hurrah for the robot Zuckerberg.Like? Dislike? Delete, good luck.

And meanwhile the EU budget, involving 673 billion pounds for Covid connected concerns has been blocked by the continuing charming behaviour of Hungary and Poland. And why would they do that at this time of dire need? Why, because the release of the funds is dependent upon the rule of actual law in each of the countries to which the money is allocated. They have some very naughty politicians there who are upset about this and the darlings have taken it personally. These men could well be directly responsible for hundreds of unnecessary deaths. Hungary’s PM Orban said the clause would ‘jeopardise trust’ between member states. Well pal, they already don’t trust you due to your actions in the last ten years over freedom of speech, assembly, judges etc etc.

The Polish ‘Justice’ minister said the clause was ‘...really an institutional political enslavement, a radical limitation of sovereignty’. Sounds like Nigel Farage.(btw, Love that he lost 10 thousand pounds betting on his golden mate to win the US Presidential election. Oh well, you can pick that up fast enough from taking the Euros you rail against eh? Got to relish the classic two faced double English standards he stoops so low to wave so high) Anyway, I digress, if it seems unfair to Poland and Hungary that they act more like actual democracies rather than extremist populist swine, perhaps they should also leave the EU and team up with Mother Russia and Uncle China.Again, Vladimir must be well pleased with how Europe and America are collapsing.

Belarus...the ‘police’ are beating up women, using stun grenades on unarmed pensioners and teens. These are not police and have nothing to do with any law other than that of the jungle. Lukashenko is their Trump, a man who always swore his country would be independent of Russia and then accepts 1.5 billion dollars in loans. Good luck with paying back the interest with your soul Alex, needs must when the Devil drives eh? Loved how those loyal to the dictator described the protestors as truants and transsexuals’. 150,000 of them? Seems a lot. But never mind, hired thugs and sadists are always easy to come by, whatever the country and whatever the year. Easy work and fun if you enjoy it, conscience free. Sure they are just trying to feed their families.

China wants a global QR Covid code, making tracking humans even easier via their brilliant technology. Let’s see who falls for that one, would you want yet more personal data known by those who created the virus and shot their own children? (For the record, I do not think Covid was taken over there and released by enemy agents and I certainly don’t think it was created by accident any more than the updated version will be.) Making a fortune out of others’ misfortune seems quite like disaster capitalism for communists.  Drug companies will be hoping the 19 virus will ‘mutate’ to 21 and 22 in order that we will all need annual vaccines.

Prague, on the anniversary of the Czechoslovakian Velvet Revolution on November 17th, 250,000 march against their PM, (an ex informer to the communists) who has been Premier for too many years...another rich businessman deep in corruption scandals, I loved his comment after witnessing the thousands that he didn’t ‘understand’ why they were doing it. That said, there were many protesting against the use of...face masks. Ok, by all means choose not to wear them. Then stay the hell away from everyone else until you are vaccinated and don’t you dare go to hospital when you fall ill. Deal?

Englerland...The manic baldhead liar Cummings has at last been kicked out of Downing Street and a fine and noble advisor he was to the PM eh? Herd immunity my arse. Seems possible he might work for Farrage and continue destroying the system from within. Fnord. God help us all, the ‘UK’ is hosting the United Nations Climate Change conference in November 2021 and taking the presidency of the G7 in January...with Boris at the helm? Nobody takes this blustering useless lying cretin seriously unless their jobs depend on him. Tory supporters, what does it take for you to see reason, how much evidence of unending failure? At very least replace the Chumocracy rampant in the government or Doom, damnation, despair, death and more doom will repeat.Nice to see we get the vaccine tested on us first...guinea pigs are safer for the rest of the world on an island...

Fascinated to see that 20m pounds were not available for poor children’s free school meals but 21 million in taxpayers’ money for a go between businessman to get PPE (piss poor excuse/personal protection equipment) for NHS staff, was. How much did the go between pocket? 55 thousand dead in UK, fifth in the world,so proud of the levels of national intelligence and Govermental planning. Brexit and Covid in a double whammy with the most incompetent and corrupt government in my lifetime. As John Lydon used to rant on a perfect loop;’ This is what you want, this is what you get’. Possibly I am abusing his actual meaning, sorry Johnny. No future for the UK...None for me anyway...

Was the UK and America’s snowflake nonsense, seeded with the birth of instagram, tik tok et al/ forums with young folk seeking approval from their peers and feeling important when they were ‘Liked’? A few years later in the (ha ha) real world, they are easily insulted by others who do not find them having much depth or value. Kids’, being ‘liked’ is not the same as being respected, or loved. Pretend alpha males, being feared is not respect either.

‘Since words contain both denotations (referents in the sensory-existential world) and connotations (emotional tones or rhetorical hooks) humans can be moved to action, even by words which have no real meaning or reference in actuality. This is the mechanism of demagoguery, advertising and much of organised religion’ RAW. It also explains why, in tandem with tones, symbols and an altered brain speed,directed Will can cause change in ‘realities’. The litany of ritual, the mantras of magick and images focused to fire with the Tantric arrow. Oops, missed again. Anyway...back to the negativity☺‘

...as population increases, wages fall but later prices increase....and the relation between them –is to be considered the index of revolutionary potential...and can be predicted as precisely as eclipses in astronomy’. Robert Anton Wilson, The Widow’s Son (Hilaritas Press) 1985.

Thanks to Covid, hundreds of thousands of businesses have collapsed; the jobless or part timers are unable to pay rent or feed their families...and receive little or no support from governments who have either pocketed their taxes or just given rewards and contracts to their friends. The overload stress levels and knock on effect on those who had the virus and still suffer -or those who could not get into hospital for treatment will be massive. Every populist knows there has never been a better time to manipulate the fear and anger of the masses. Demonstrations, riots and harsher laws will spread each creating their own chain reaction.Watch out for Nationalists pointing fingers, don’t buy their snake oil. Avoid giving groups like QAnon any of your energy, paranoia is a creepy way to live and a sleazy way to die.

Ten months of reading emails which come across like distress signals or suicide notes from friends or that scene in Interstellar when the son knows his father could be dead by the time the message gets through. BUT...‘Help may arrive invisibly and unexpectedly from unknown sources’. Be open to this. Be sensitive and attuned to quantum parallels, there is a reaction going on to all the uff and crud, sidestep, step to the side... Allwhere and all now. You don’t need to ‘believe’ this, just be aware, sense it.

TANA, ORPHEUS, ARADIA, LUCIFER (or Robin, Marian, Orfee, Bride, all ye gentry come from Side)...Protection and guides, projected archetypes created by our minds and evolved by themselves...

We, as a species, exist in a world in which exists a myriad of data points. Upon these matrices of points we superimpose a structure and the world makes sense to us. The pattern of the structure originates within our biological and sociological properties.Persinge and Lafreniere.1977.

The intelligence should direct the will. Aquinas. The light of the body is the eye; if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body will be full of light. Matt6:22.

Have tied the last five years together and I have a feeling my time in this country is coming to an end, give it seven months perhaps. Thank you for reading, hope some was entertaining...Withe much Love from Donkey Oti, and Onan the Barbarian, stay healthy, wishing you the best Christmas and 2021 possible, Ba-ra-ka, Et in Arcadia Ego . Love, always.