#Why the actual fuck is my pain tolerance so high?

[theauthor27]

How the fuck do i not have a concussion.

[purerae]

What if the reader was high/drunk and when she’s high/drunk she’s the sweetest and very loving. How would Kieran react? Would he be all lovey with her?

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YANDERE!PLAYBOY X FEM!READER.

DRUNK IN SWEETNESS // ONESHOT.

warnings ;; yandere behaviour, possessive behaviour , fluff, obsession, lying (??), jealousy etc, slight angst (if you squint)

click here for the masterlist!

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Kieran walks into the party that he was dreading going to. Because he gave up hooking up with girls, going to parties was too boring for him. He can’t get drunk because he has a very high tolerance and the conversations he has with his so-called ‘friends’ makes him want to feel pain so he can shoot himself five times in the head.

The white-haired male would much rather talk with you, feel you, and joke around with you. Too bad, every time he asks for your number you mutter out a sarcastic response and switch the topic.

It’s not his fault he wants to speak with you at all times! I mean…He could just sneak into your house and watch you from there. But he isn’t going to do that of course! He’s not a fucking creep.

As he walks deeper into the house party, alcohol is pushed against his nose as his past hookups wink at him, the ones who want to be his new girl attempt to walk up to him but he just gives them a wink and pushes past them. If he got a coin for the number of people who dabbed him up and knew his name while he didn’t know theirs, He’d probably be twice as rich as he is now.

The playboy (or ‘former’ playboy) gets pulled into a conversation with the football jocks as they speak about the next game, who they’re going to go for and just basic stuff etc. Kieran makes a joke here and there and he can’t tell if they’re laughing at it because it was legitimately funny or if they’re laughing because they want to get on his good side.

With you, he never had to think that. He knows that you laugh if something is actually funny and God, it makes him feel so proud when he’s the one who gets the laugh out of you.

Speaking of you…His eyes glance away from the group for a split second and the same eyes widen at the scene in front of him. It was you. Dressed up for a party he would never imagine you would go to and hell, you looked fine as fuck. But there was no way you would go to this shitty party! Who would even invite you? The jocks?? No, no it couldn’t have been. Could it?

Maybe he’s just too obsessed with you that he’s imagining you there. He quickly disregards the conversation and walks up to the couch he’s supposedly imagining you on. But there you were, In the flesh. He gives you an infamous smirk before smoothly saying

“Woah, didn’t kn—“ “Oh, my god!! Kieran! Helloooo!!” You grin at him before jumping up from your seat, almost stumbling to the ground and give him a big hug before giggling. “Fancy seeing you here~!”

Kieran remained still for what felt like hours but was actually around 5 seconds. Why were you happy to see him? Why are you hugging him??? “…Haha hey now— What’s gotten’ into you princess?”

This was one of the first times he was almost speechless. Normally you reject his advances constantly. Even if he put an arm around your shoulder, you would give him a sharp glare and push him off. But now…You’re hugging him?!

Unfortunately for him, you let go of the blissful hug before looking up at him and pouting with wide glassy eyes.

“Are you not happy to see me…I’m r-really happy to see you, Kieran!” You sniff and flop back onto the couch. Glaring at him with narrowed eyes and a pout on your cherished lips.

The blue-eyed male recovers from his shocked flustered stare before realising…bottles everywhere, your eyes were struggling to stay open, emotions off the rail. You were obviously drunk! Your personality seemed more intimate too. He could use this to his advantage. Kieran quickly sits down next to you and holds onto your arm.

“Of course, I'm happy to see you, cutie! I'm always happy to see your pretty little face~” He flirts back at you, wondering how the drunk version of you would respond.

You lean into his touch and smile. “I knew you’d be happy to see me..!!” you look at his face and then his shirt before placing a hand against it. “Woah— your shirt suits you so much, Kier! You should wear blue more often” You compliment him with a wide smile and your eyes closed.

Kieran looks at your flushed face. In his heart, he knows it’s because of the alcohol but ignorance is bliss so he’ll pretend it was because of him. His face matched yours despite not drinking anything. The new nickname and the compliment which you never give him, gives him electrical pangs in his heart.

He looks down at you with a widened smile and you’re so close to him, he just wants to kiss your red plumped lips but decided against it. He wanted you to be sober when you guys kissed. He wants you to remember his lips on yours.

“Jesus, how much did you drink princess?” He mutters to himself, intending for you not to hear but since you guys are only 8 cm away from each other, you hear him loud and clear.

With a big frown, you say “I'm not drunk…at all… barely even dranked…drunk..drank?” you slur your words out and struggle to keep your head up before giving up and placing it on his chest.

To people surrounding you guys, it looks as though you’re his millionth girlfriend and he’s just flirting with you. But Kieran doesn’t care what people think. The male turns you around and lets you lean on his chest with a content smile, he wraps his hands around your shoulders.

“Hm? I believe you babe~ you’re not drunk at all, yeah?” He says with a humming tune in his voice.

You let out a “Mhm!” noise and you guys stay like that for a while. Kieran is flirting with you and instead of your sarcastic responses, you giggle and laugh while acting all sweet to him too. He knows if you were sober right now and saw how you were acting with him, saw the very public display of affection, You’d vomit all over the place and never speak with him again.

But he was always good at keeping secrets.

Your sweet conversation got cut off by one of Kieran’s ‘friends’ who walks up to you both with a drink in hand before laughing.

“Yoo, this your new bitch? She’s hot as fuck, where’d ya’ get her?” He yells out, obviously drunk and high and everything in between.

Kieran’s smirk turns into an angered look. Something no one has ever seen before. His eyes darken as he hears the cunt refer to the love of his life as a ‘bitch’…as well as complimenting her too! No one deserves to compliment what's his. He should be the one to call you hot, not some guy who doesnt even know your name.

He snarls out “She’s my girlfriend you freak, Say shit like that one more time and I’ll knock you the fuck out. Got it?” He places his signature smirk back on but his eyes remain the same.

The poor guy has never seen Kieran act like this before. This was a look he never wanted to see ever again. He responds meekly with a “m-my bad bro” Before scurrying off like a lost little sheep.

Kieran’s smirk drops once again as he holds you even tighter in his grasp. His fingers dig into your skin as you yelp in pain.

“Ow!”

His touch loosens. “Sorry princess, just close your eyes again for’ me, okay?” He looks down at you and sees your tilted head staring at him with a confused and worrying stare. He raises his eyebrow before you softly explain

“I’m…your girlfriend?” Kieran laughs and nods his head confidently.

“Of course! Did my cute girl drink so much that she almost forgot?~” He pecks your nose before leaning back onto the armrest and closing his eyes, his arms still resting against your body.

You make a noise of confusion before accepting the fact that you’re his ‘girlfriend’ and get comfortable against him again.

“Ah��Sorry!” You giggle out. and hold onto his arms.

Kieran knows this is wrong. He knows that if you knew he did this, you'd hate him forever. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help the domestic feeling of being a boyfriend. Your boyfriend.

Although he loves your snarky responses, He could definitely get used to the sweet side of you. Just one more hour of this. Please.

purerae<3

[transmascissues]

i just got back from my first ever gynecological exam and somehow, despite the doctor being really nice and way more knowledgeable about trans bodies than i was expecting, it still ended up being incredibly upsetting and honestly probably mildly traumatizing. i’m sure it’s no secret to anyone following me that going to the gynecologist is a uniquely shitty experience for a lot of trans guys and i knew that but i really was not prepared for that.

first of all, everything you read says that the pelvic exam and pap smear shouldn’t hurt even if they’re super uncomfortable, but let me tell you, that shit fucking hurt. like, i have a pretty high pain tolerance and usually even when something does hurt i don’t show it very much, but that was maybe the most painful thing i’ve ever had a doctor do to me and it showed. to be fair, i’ve never had good luck with things like that — i couldn’t even use tampons back when i had a period because the one time i did, taking it out was really painful — and i’m on t now so i’m sure that makes things even harder and i was prepared for it to hurt, but i really wasn’t ready for just bad it was. it’s been an hour since the exam finished and there’s still some pain so, yeah, so much for “it’s just uncomfortable, not painful”.

(and a side note: when it did hurt, the doctor told me to relax my muscles because the tension makes it hurt more. what they didn’t seem to realize is that if your brain and body are collectively rejecting the presence of something inside you, making those muscles relax is a fucking herculean task and i for one was not in any way capable of it so it just…kept getting more painful.)

i also was never informed ahead of time of what a pelvic exam actually entails; i had assumed it was a more general external checkup, and that the pap smear was the only really invasive part. as it turns out, i was very wrong, and “pelvic exam” actually means the doctor sticks their finger up you to feel around. she asked me if i was comfortable getting the exam because it was so obvious that the pap smear didn’t go well, but i had no clue what i was saying yes to and it was a total surprise for me when there was something inside me again. and she knew it was my first time, so she had no reason to assume i knew that the exam would be like. by the time i realized i absolutely should not have said yes to it, i was too late and it was already happening. it really feels like common sense that if you’re going to be giving someone what basically amounts to a professional fingering, you should probably make it clear that that’s what’s about to happen, but i guess that doctor would disagree.

and of course, the whole time i was also being misgendered. the doctor used the right name for me, but the other staff didn’t and everything about it was so excessively gendered (i’m pretty sure the appointment i had was literally called a “women’s wellness visit” on the same sheet that had trans man and nonbinary as gender options). not to mention, when i told them i’m getting top surgery and have the exact date set, the nurse made a comment to like“well aren’t you one of the lucky ones,” which really felt like it had “i think trans guys have a super easy time getting surgeries that cis women have to fight for” energy.

and the irony of all this definitely isn’t lost on me — i just did a project this past semester about how trans guys are fucked over by reproductive healthcare practices so a lot of us just never go, and now i got some firsthand experience in exactly why so many of us just say “no fucking way”.

i just want to put this out there for anyone who hasn’t done it before because i think this would have been a lot less awful for me if someone had just told me “yeah, it might hurt way more than you think, and also that thing they call a pelvic exam is actually an internal exam.” i thought i was prepared and i totally wasn’t, so hopefully this will reach someone else who will be better off knowing all of this.

[neiptune]

we do fall before we rise

cw: 1.4k wc, female reader, mentions of blood, mentions of injuries/bruising, mentions of slight harassment, friends to lovers, draken is a big dumb soft idiot, miscommunication my beloved. sponsored by @acidsbeats, thank you so much for trusting me with this and contributing to @ficsforgaza!

There’s no reason why Draken would be there, at your friend’s house, in the middle of the night. Something cold and unwelcome would be clawing at your stomach from the inside if you didn’t know how close they’ve always been, Mikey’s sister practically his sister too, the same way Manjiro is his brother.

“What?” crude bluntness shakes you from the numbness, stiffened limbs gaining their mobility once more.

“Where’s Emma?” is the only thing you can bring yourself to ask, tone matching his for good measure. It requires a whole lot of effort not to focus on his busted lip, dark circles underneath eyes that once didn’t bore into yours with such coldness.

“In Roppongi, out for the night”

He’s not asking you to come in but you’re not particularly inclined to leave either, the paper bag in your hands weighing exceptionally heavy.

“Why…”

“I needed a place to stay for a few days. Is the interrogation over?”

Only a few weeks prior to this awkwardly bitter encounter, you would’ve taken his face in your hands and inquired about the dried blood on his swollen bottom lip. Hell, maybe he would’ve come to you. Asked to be taken care of and of course you would’ve obliged, the way you have so many times throughout the years, ever since high school.

But now? Now he’s looking at you like you’re a stranger, someone he’d barely tolerate to share a room with. It makes your blood boil.

“Fuck off, Ryuguji” you push past him and make your way inside an apartment that’s a little yours as well, a safe space that has witnessed your highs and so many of your lows. Including the most recent one.

He may be acting childish but Ken knows better than to protest against your presence there: Emma’s home is your home. He’s the intruder.

“I’m just here to return some clothes” your pitch is as casual as it can be, hoping he’ll keep his distance while you quickly empty the bag of its content. They’re not really Emma’s, they’re yours. But you can’t really fix a laundry with blood-stained clothes at your place, with a nosy roommate, can you? No matter whether the blood is yours or not.

Unfortunately, he decides to quietly follow you to the bathroom, if for genuine curiosity or lack of faith it’s impossible to tell. What you also couldn’t tell, is how stupidly full your friend’s washing machine is: certainly enough for you to drop the white shirt to the floor while desperately attempting to push it in alongside your shorts.

“No, leave it-” it’s wishful thinking, really, the idea that he’d actually listen to you for a change. Draken crouches down to pick the shirt up for you (kindness? Eagerness for you to simply be done and leave?) only to then crumple it in his stupidly gigantic fist.

“Is this… what the fuck happened?”

“None of your business anymore” you snatch the shirt away, heat crawling from the base of your throat to your face as you shove it inside the washer and slam the door shut.

“Are you hurt?” the urgency in his voice makes you look up, mouth a thin, bitter line.

“I’m not”

There’s a storm brewing behind that all too familiar stare, indecision palpable as eyes you miss so badly roam across your features, explore with fierce attentiveness should they find any sign of pain or discomfort in your own stare. But then they reluctantly wander elsewhere, focus on the rest of your frame to make sure you’re not lying. And sure enough, there she is: an imperceptible shadow peeking from underneath long sleeves rolled up for practicality, teasing your right forearm. He doesn’t recognize the shape, can’t quite place it among all the other contours he has mapped out throughout the years. It’s not a mole, definitely not a birthmark. Then what…?

Your panic as you scramble to pull down your sleeve once more sets his instincts ablaze. You know Ken’s hands: they’re big, rough, often cold, capable of great destruction and outstanding tenderness when away from prying eyes. They’re something in between when they grab your arm, force the sleeve up fully as far as it can go, take a look at the bruise. At the threatening outline of fingers he wishes to snap in half.

“Who did this to you?” it’s low, guttural, eyes burning with a fury his tone doesn’t really match. For your sake, as always.

“It’s nothing” you attempt to tame a flame that poses the risk of becoming wildfire “I handled it”

“You handled what exactly?”

“I told you, it’s no-”

“Answer the goddamn question!”

“You’re hurting me, Ken!”

He inhales sharply, eases the hold over your arm immediately. The bruise looks back at him, mocks him, a sour reminder of what he’s always known: you’re a target. An easy one, that is. Your friendship, your loyalty, have always brought more burdens on your shoulders than benefits. Fuck. Who? How many? What did they want? Was it about Mikey, about him?

“Please tell me” he tries to control himself, fingers now closed around your wrist barely kept from quivering.

You sigh, defeated.

“This guy started bothering me on my way home, grabbed me a bit too forcefully. Wouldn’t take no for an answer. So I made good use of the self defense lessons you and Mikey gave me and Emma in high school. Happy now?”

Draken’s shoulder slump.

“The blood on your shirt…”

“Wasn’t mine”

Oh.

The small relief expanding in his chest like oil spreading out over water isn’t enough to satiate the rage. Daily dangers, regular small fucking threats finding you while you wander out in the world on your own. Without him. Because of his dumb fears, blind selfishness and…

“Now you can go back to pretending I don’t exist” your wrist slips easily out of his softer grasp but you can’t predict the way he grabs you by the jaw, forces you to look at him instead of spinning out of his hold.

“Don’t say that ever again”

“Then don’t suddenly act like you give a shit” you bark “it’s been months, Ken. You haven’t talked to me in months”

“I don’t allow myself to give a shit” he’s so close you can smell the expensive cologne he’s been using religiously ever since you gifted one bottle to him.

“What is that even supposed to mean? You were drunk out of your mind and kissed me at Mikey’s birthday party, so what? Is the regret weighing so heavy on you our entire friendship has to be fucking erased?”

“You were drunk enough to kiss me back, I barely had two beers!”

“I didn’t even get to drink, dumbass!”

He pauses, quietly letting the implications of what you have both just admitted sink in.

Draken’s heart hasn’t at all hardened despite all he’s been through. On the contrary: his heart is so tender it needs extra protection, walls and watchmen granting it a shield solid enough to take a few blows from time to time. Yours, however? That was one blow he wasn’t ready to take. Avoiding his best friend felt wrong, yet easier than admitting dangerous feelings that could have ruined one of the few, truly valuable things in his life.

“I think” he says quietly, lets go of your jaw and breathes in your scent, thankful as ever that you didn't run out of the bathroom right away “I’ve been an asshole. I’m sorry”

“Yes, you have been an asshole” frustration stings at the corners of your eyes “couldn’t even tell me you hated kissing me, no, you just had to disappear like a fucking child who-”

“I’m in love with you” the few strands of fair hair he leaves loose frame his handsome face perfectly “have been for a while, probably. Didn’t want to drag you into the mess so I gave you some space. Guess I could’ve handled it better”

You stand still, muscles frozen as you search for the hint of a lie, of travesty, in his softer gaze. All you find is weary sincerity. Suddenly, the memory of all the years spent side by side explodes in your chest like fireworks, warm and powerful. He’s your person, since forever.

“I’m sorry” Draken repets, a plea more than an apology “I understand if there’s someone else or if it’s too late or-”

You take his hand.

“There’s never been anyone else, idiot”

There never could've been.

[ultimateloserboy]

thinking about duck dhmis having health issues and not even knowing it. first of all, he has diabetes, which you could say is just a joke, but i dont really think so. id say it would be if yellow guy didnt bring it up again a minute later in electricity where it was confirmed. sure hes talking to a different character, but his immediate assumption when someone is acting strange is to assume their blood sugar is low. i might be stretching- but to me it implies hes been in this situation before. charged yellow guy doesnt become smarter out of nowhere, he simply understands his already existing memories better, meaning he wouldve already known what low blood sugar was and how to deal with it before his batteries getting replaced. this implies to me that yellow guy has helped duck with his low blood sugar before, though i dont think him or duck actually understands whats going on. im not a diabetes expert or anything, but i know that low blood sugar is not nice, and you feel much better after grabbing a snack. which is funny, because in the past the creators have really driven it home that duck enjoys sweets and just food in general. in the “Its Nice That” QNA back in like 2016, half of ducks answers were about snacks and foods he liked. he said he finds yogurt exciting, and that his blood type is cream, etc. again, maybe im stretching, but it makes sense for him to enjoy these foods so much, because they’d probably make him feel better even if he doesn’t understand why. he probs thinks he just really fucking likes yogurt but in reality his blood sugar is literal ass.

moving on though, in the death episode he mentions forgetting to drink water, which is the cause of his literal death. dehydration is not a nice feeling, and its canon that the puppets experience pain like we do to an extent, so how long was duck feeling miserable without noticing? when the coffin cuts his finger he doesnt react at all, saying it “doesnt hurt that much” but pain is pain even if its small. he didnt even flinch to his finger being cut off. i dont think its the pain thats small, i think his pain tolerance is just too high for his own good. he probably didnt notice the pain of dehydration, or the pains of low blood pressure, or the pain of his insides being removed. he felt it, but he just didnt register how bad it really was. when he sees yellow guy being tore up in jobs he starts freaking out, obviously understanding that it must hurt, but if he was in the same situation he would be laughing. it makes me kind of sad in a way

there’s three ways i think this can be interpreted:

1: hes so desensitized to his own pain after eternity of being ripped apart that he doesnt even register when hes in pain anymore

2: hes so determined to be big and strong (like the military) that he refuses to acknowledge his pain because its a weakness he needs to get over

or 3: a mixture of both that is so bad it causes him to literally die of his own self-neglect. and even when his body tries to shut down and rest(die), he still refuses even that.

(plus, to add on to my runt-duck post, runts often have life-long health issues if they do live past infancy. i will die on the runt-duck hill. he is just like me.)

[quitealotofsodapop]

it has been awhile, but I've finally gotten around to doing another one of these! hope it will help with my writing funk.

[and is super guilty for not having told him back then. At the same time, Wukong is confused why Max seems so... ok with it suddenly???] + [He ultimately doesnt want to open up any old wounds Wukong has from the incident since he's been living with the outcome of that fight far longer than Mac has.] + [Why was Wukong protecting the monk that hurt him? Why was Wukong going on this Journey and not returning to his throne? Why did he hide the Stone Egg from the world?]

honestly? Wukong is probably more concerned by how okay with having been killed Mac is than he would be if he was still upset and causing problems because of it. I feel like Wukong would actually be very ok with talking/answering any questions about what happened, it'd be a hard conversation for sure, but he's grown to have enough emotional maturity to know it's a necessary one. the only reason he let Mac get away with pushing it off for so long to the point of it blowing up in there faces a little was because he was trying to let the other have time to process and work out how he felt before trying to hash things out together.

but perhaps, Wukong is also deflecting a little, worried that trying to talk about it would spur into an argument. neither of them are very good at listening to each other when they get riled up, and after how their fight went... he knows he did his best trying to talk Macaque down, but he always kinda feels like he should've tried harder. he just doesn't want things to get out of control again.

[Ao Lie and Wukong are quickly panicking over each other while their other bros are forcing them to rest after the Samadhi Fire Ritual.]

the Tripataka forces them both onto bedrest, but it's a combined effort of the uninjured pilgrims to keep them there considering how restless Wukong can be. between Wukong and Ao Lie? it's an endless cycle of "no, I'll get up and ask for water, you stay in bed" and "no, I'll grab the extra blankets, you need to rest".

[Wukong was in so much pain that he was convinced that he was going into labor, or that he even lost Yuebei as a result of joining in the Ritual.]

now I'm just picturing the others waking up to Wukong (who normally has a very high pain tolerance) loudly sobbing from how much it hurts and inconsolable because once the thought of having lost the egg even crossed his mind he became convinced that's what happened. he must have cried so hard, they'd have to call Guanyin to do a check-up while he's still sobbing to show him the egg is fine for him to even begin to calm down.

[Nezha makes note of hiding anything flammable whenever he visits the monkeys.]

it does seem Yuebei has a taste for the spicy-er things, huh. wonder if she'd like any of Redson's cooking?

[Pigsy: "Sure thing. Guess little monkeys aren't much different from little MKs." *gives Yuebei her nose back*]

heh- funny thing about that pigsy-

[Memory!Ao Lie, frowning: "Why are you so stubborn to admit that it wasn't your fault? I really truly never blamed you, or her." Wukong, crying: "Why were you so ok with it? Because of me, the Samadhi Fire it... hurt you."]

Wukong has had a real rough go with people ditching him after one mistake, real or even just perceived mistakes alike, and messing up the ritual and letting the fire hurt Ao Lie? a monumental fuck-up to almost anyone you ask. Wukong, rather unfortunately, has very good reason for believing Ao Lie would hate or resent him for it, anyone else would. he's grown used to it, apathetic, maybe even has grown to expect it.

as it is, this means Wukong has a very hard time understanding/grasping it when someone doesn't hate him over things like this.

[Ofc Nezha feels like garbage for treating Wukong's actions during the Ritual as a failing.]

worst part is, Wukong doesn't treat him like he was wrong. when it gets brought up he talks about matter-of-factly, nonchantly, like it was no big deal that he was in pain, at risk of sacrificing his unborn egg and basically everyone aside from the pilgrims was treating him like he was the ultimate disappointment.

this is in part due to Wukong's own guilt over the ritual, insecurities about being enough/strong enough, and because he, again, doesn't blame Ne Zha because he didn't know about the egg because Wukong never told him and therefore, it's actually on his shoulders .

(Wukong needs a therapist)

[The Spider Gang has nightmares of Guanyin coming to beat the rest of them up like she's a Jojo stand.]

they're so terrified that they basically start praying to Guanyin- more so begging to be left alone, but still.

[To hear that Wukong has named her his little "Moon Comet Star" just makes him cry harder, especially with how casually Wukong names her.] + [But I bet Wukong is just so happy that he tells everyone Yuebei's name long before that time.]

I think Wukong probably had a lot of trouble coming up with names before Yuebei was born, nothing just ever seemed right! he honestly tried not to think about why the only ones that ever seemed to be good candidates were space/moon related names. but then Macaque came back. he stopped denying it at that point, and just went all for it. no matter how things with Mac end up going, Wukong probably already had the name chosen by the time he came back from looking for the map. And yeah, Macaque loves the idea that this was always Wukong's plan, and Wukong being just as happy about the name is also just so cute to him!

[It's PIF anf DBK's fave baby photo of Yuebei - besides the one where she tried eating Red Son's hair.]

oooooo what do you think would be everyone else's fav baby photos of Yuebei?

[and when he gets to Camel Ridge, he pauses before looking towards Wukong for confirmation. At Wukong's excited nod, Macaque grins evily.] + [Macaque also deliberately exaggerates the voices of their allies like PIF and DBK so Yuebei doesn't accidentally associate their voices with the muddy past shown in the book.]

let's be real, Peng's voice is the most bastardized.

love the fact that Macaque doesn't even really have to ask, Wukong already knows what he's planning and is living for it. Wukong enjoys the retelling almost as much as Yuebei does, if only for Macaque's dramatics. and doing his best to change her perception of their current allies? a very appreciated effort.

[Azure is clueless and isn't sure if monkey cubs work like lion cubs or not. Yellow Tusk has the sense to ask the remaining servants for help with tending to the infant - a group of seven brave orchard maidens stepped forward to run the baby a bath and prepare her a meal. Yellow Tusk is sure that he recognises them.]

so long pining for a monkey and he has no clue how they work or how to care for one. at least Yellowtusk is at least a little bit sensible. and ah! the peach orchard maidens Wukong was friends with! imagine if this was their first proper intro to Yuebei. they've never met but they know this is their old friends child so the seven will do anything for her, take on as many responsibilities as it takes to keep Yuebei out of Azure's claws as long as they can.

they don't like any of the brotherhood, but tusk at least seems remorseful enough to consider him safe enough to help bathe the little infant- with supervision of course. Yuebei latching to his trunk was probably as funny to them (at Yellow tusk's expense) as it was heartbreaking because they could probably recognize the behavior for what it was due to their time spent with the Monkey King.

at least Yuebei's comes out of it thinking/feeling very positively about peach maidens.

[So when the elephant gently put Yuebei in the warm bathwater and offered her mashed fruit, she instinctively clasped around his trunk like it was the arm of her parents, making sad hooing sounds as she sucked on her fingers. Yellow Tusk felt his heart break at the sight. He simply cannot fathom harming her in any sense of the word.]

oh no, Yuebei's sucking her finger, means she's missing her mama. imagine if after her rescue Wukong/macaque notice she's developed a small oral fixation from the trauma of her kidnapping.

I wonder if Yellow Tusk ever looks down at this tiny monkey and has an epiphany about how he treated Monkey King and Macaque, or the treatment of them he was at least complacent in. those two were never truly infants sure, but they were young minds, perhaps the thought had never crossed his mind because they're looks were deceiving when it came to age. how young had they truly been? what age were the children the brotherhood sent to war and martyred?

perhaps it doesn't matter anymore, the chance at redemption long forgotten, but at least he knows i his heart of hearts he will not make the mistake again. even if it means betraying those he's held dear for so long...

[Mac would make a show of picking up his baby girl and kissing her all over while commenting in baby-talk; "Did you have fun with the birdy and kitty, moonlight? Yeah? Do you want Bama to take something to remember your little play date?"]

the fact that Macaque baby-talks to the obvious victor only makes Peng's humiliation worse. Imagine getting turned into ground beef by an infant and her dad comes in and makes it all the more real that you were beaten by a less-than-a-year-old baby by outright baby talking her in front of you. like you always were and always would be nothing but literal child's play to deal with that you weren't even deserving of having your defeat be treated seriously, no. your opponent gets baby talk congratulations.

Macaque will forever tell the story of Peng's defeat when having proud dad bragging moments.

[Macaque has one of the feathers preserved as a bookmark. It brings him great joy.]

he takes a couple feathers for himself, makes a few different things out of them, like a quill. but he also made one or two for other people like Wukong and of course Yuebei's toy. they all bring him (and the receivers of the gifts) great joy.

prev.

yesyesyes some SlowBoiled thoughts! Also btw I've shortened what parts I'm replying to for brevity.

[honestly? Wukong is probably more concerned by how okay with having been killed Mac is than he would be if he was still upset and causing problems because of it...] + [but perhaps, Wukong is also deflecting a little, worried that trying to talk about it would spur into an argument... ...he just doesn't want things to get out of control again.]

YES

A big reason for their fight just as S4 starts is the fact they're avoiding some pretty big glaring questions/concerns to "avoid conflict", only to hurt themselves and each other more by deflecting. Sometime avoiding confrontation is more harmful than tackling your demons head-on and de-escalating any anger that it brings up as it comes. Wukong would be ok answering any questions Mac needed to be answered, but the real hard part is getting both monkeys in a space where they can vent it out a bit without one or both trying to portal away from an escalating conversation.

A good marriage counsellor needs to take on Wukong and Macaque's case and let the monkeys honestly Talk for a while without interruption.

Yue Lao, god of marriage & true love: "Diiiid someone call for marriage help?" :3

[the Tripataka forces them both onto bedrest, but it's a combined effort of the uninjured pilgrims to keep them there considering how restless Wukong can be. between Wukong and Ao Lie? it's an endless cycle of "no, I'll get up and ask for water, you stay in bed" and "no, I'll grab the extra blankets, you need to rest".] +[now I'm just picturing the others waking up to Wukong (who normally has a very high pain tolerance) loudly sobbing... ...he must have cried so hard, they'd have to call Guanyin to do a check-up while he's still sobbing to show him the egg is fine for him to even begin to calm down.]

Aww. It's very sweet but also kinda sad to think about. Eventually Ao Lie and Wukong are both too exhausted from their escape attempts, so the rest of the Pilgrims tap in to tend to them.

And the miscarriage scare!! PIF had opened up to Wukong in the last few weeks about how she and Bull had suffered tragic losses before Red came into the world - and when Wukong feels that terrible pain in his body, he immediately breaks down at the thought of suffering the same loss. Guanyin has to check in since Wukong won't stop hyperventilating and crying at the idea that he lost Yuebei. The goddess thankfully is able to confirm that the soul within the egg was alive and well, just very startled by the surge of power. Wukong still cries, now from relief.

Sadly, if the Samadhi ritual occurred after Macaque's death, Wukong likely saw the Egg as the final reminder of his former-mate. Yuebei is his little moonlight, even if her creation was not ideal.

[it does seem Yuebei has a taste for the spicy-er things, huh. wonder if she'd like any of Redson's cooking?]

Now I'm thinking of a scene where post-S3/4, Red Son is messing around in the kitchen with MK and Mei while they're babysitting Yuebei. Cue the baby grabbing a handful of spicy bbq sauce Red Son has been preparing and shove it in her mouth like it's nothing. All three are speechless with terror as Yuebei doesn't appear to be bothered in the slightest. Then she tries going for more!

Red Son quickly moves his sauce pot away and wonders aloud if he's skipped an ingredient. MK takes a spoonful, and with his face sweating profusely wheezes "Nope. That's Australian-level."

Yuebei whines for some more, and all three now understand why she keeps trying to eat firey things. DBK laughes proudly when he's told about it later on - nothing less from his dear godcalf!

[heh- funny thing about that pigsy-]

Lets just say a lot about MK's upbringing makes more sense after Pigsy realises that his son is a monkey demon XD

[Wukong has had a real rough go with people ditching him after one mistake, real or even just perceived mistakes alike... ...this means Wukong has a very hard time understanding/grasping it when someone doesn't hate him over things like this.]

THIS is why Ao Lie and the Samadhi Fire arc are so important to Wukong's character. He has such trouble understanding that sometimes people who care won't hold your mistakes real or perceived against you. Ao Lie likely told Wukong to his face multiple times that he didn't care that Wukong "screwed up", he was just glad that Wukong, the Egg, and Tripitaka were alive and well after all things considered.

[worst part is, Wukong doesn't treat him like he was wrong... ....(Wukong needs a therapist)]

The fact that Wukong doesn't mind that Nezha treated his failure that way all those years ago, makes Nezha even more concerned in the modern day!

yes yes he does.

[they're so terrified that they basically start praying to Guanyin- more so begging to be left alone, but still.]

Guanyin can only grant the Spider Gang a swift end and perhaps a revival after S3. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[I think Wukong probably had a lot of trouble coming up with names before Yuebei was born,...]

Wukong is bad at naming things I feel. He did call himself "Grimpil Sun" when he pretended to be a different monkey in the Gold-Silver Twins chapter. Even after over a thousand years of prep, he's still undecided what he'd should call his Egg once they arrive.

He's called Yuebei his "little moonlight", his "star", and his "comet" since long before he finally decided on her name. And when Macaque came back into his life and confirmed that he wanted both of them to be safe? His little "Moon Comet Star" just made sense - she indirectly brought his Moonlight back to him.

[oooooo what do you think would be everyone else's fav baby photos of Yuebei?]

hehehe!

For Wukong it's any photo of Yuebei. Look at his daughter! She's here! She's so perfect! Has one of those giant wallets full of photos of her.

Macaque's favorite is one Mei snapped of Yuebei just after the baby had destroyed Peng and Azure - the cub's eyes gleaming with delight at seeing her Bama again, her mouth full of golden feathers. He also treasures a photo he took of Wukong just after Yuebei's egg was born - his Peaches smiling contentedly as he curls around the egg.

MK's is when Yuebei saw him put away the Staff, and she tried looking inside his ear for it.

Mei is taking so many photos all the time, so it's hard for her to have faves. One of her faves though is a pair of photos where Yuebei is completely calm and about to fall asleep, and then her eyes are glowing with eye-lasers cus a bang in the kitchen scared her. Mei uses it as a reaction meme.

For Pigsy its a photo of Yuebei attempting to eat her first mooncake - the pastry was bigger than her whole head. Chang'e took the photo and just knew Pigsy would love it.

Tang's is the one of MK holding Yuebei for the first time, tears and snot running down the older monkey-boy's face while Yuebei looks up at him curiously. Tang thinks it's hilarious.

Sandy's fave is Yuebei taking a curious sip of tea from her mama's cup, and frowning hard when she realised it wasn't as nice as milk. Also one where Yuebei and Mo got distracted by the same cat toy - seems that the baby girl likes attacking things with feathers.

PIF and DBK's faves are well known ofc. Red Son would claim that he doesn't have any, but secretly its one where the baby monkey is playing peekaboo with DBK. It just really heart-warming to see his father interact with Yuebei after missing out on a lot of Red's childhood. Red looks at the photo and wonders if his father ever tried such games on him. (He did. Baby Red Son exploded)

Jiuweihuli and the twins love any photo Wukong shares with them. The old Vixen's favourite is where Macaque managed to get Yuebei into an elaborate baby costume (lots of bribery with mashed peaches was involved) and the baby is just happily sticking her tongue out at the camera.

It takes Bai He a while to warm up to Yuebei all the way, but she likes the photo of Yuebei when she first met Mo. The cat was very cautious and the baby monkey was just fascinated.

The gods themselves get rare glimpses of Sun Wukong's baby. Nezha's fave is a short video of Yuebei's first ever swimming lesson - decked out in all the little floaties as she doggie-paddled in the kiddie pool, Wukong smiling and holding his arms out for her while Macaque filmed. Nezha loves it not only for it's content, but for how happy Wukong finally is after so long. He blesses Yuebei many times over for good fortune and safety.

[let's be real, Peng's voice is the most bastardized. love the fact that Macaque doesn't even really have to ask, Wukong already knows what he's planning and is living for it. Wukong enjoys the retelling almost as much as Yuebei does, if only for Macaque's dramatics. and doing his best to change her perception of their current allies? a very appreciated effort.]

Macaque turns Peng's voice into a harsh nasally sound with random squawks thrown in like a cartoon parrot.

Wukong and Macaque have a near psychic connection as a couple once they start cohabitating again (and deal with emotional stuff). Wukong cannot deny his Plums the chance to make fun of their former brothers. Wukong even gets in on it, mimicking his own younger self and a some of the Pilgrims in a silly voice. Yuebei loves story time.

[so long pining for a monkey and he has no clue how they work or how to care for one. at least Yellowtusk is at least a little bit sensible... ...at least Yuebei's comes out of it thinking/feeling very positively about peach maidens.]

Azure is an orange male cat at his core - he's standing there, holding Yuebei by her diaper and wondering "What now?" while Peng covers their beak. Yellowtusk atleast has the wisdom to ask around the palace for help when Yuebei starts getting fussy. And since Peng confirms that the Memory Scroll "took the cupbearers as well" in the special, the Orchard Maidens are running themselves ragged to ensure that the invaders are content, and by proxy Yuebei safe. Not many are aware of their familial connection to the Emperor on first glance, so they quickly disguise themselves as "just" servants that escaped the Scroll.

So when Yellowtusk approaches almost shyly for help to feed and clean the baby hostage, the girls knew they made the right choice to stay. The seven maidens had taken one look at the baby monkey, saw the power she wielded, and just knew she was their dear didi's baby. '

The Maidens provide a character statement for Yellowtusk once everything is said and done. Afterall, the elephant allowed his trunk to be nearly crushed if it meant the baby girl had comfort.

Oh oh! Imagine in the aftermath of S4, Wukong manages to ask Yellowtusk who cared for Yuebei while she was hostage?

Yellowtusk, in cuffs about to be taken away: "I tried my best, but without the aid of the seven Orchard Maidens I likely wouldn't have fared much better than my brothers." Wukong: "Orchard Maidens?" Seven distinct voices: "Didi!" Wukong turns to see the seven snake-cat-like celestials running towards him, their appearances unkempt from worry. They carefully check him and Yuebei over. Orchard Maidens: "Oh thank buddha you're ok!" "We were so worried!" "After what happened to baba we..." "We couldn't bare to leave her alone with them!" Wukong, touched: "You all stayed behind, knowing that you shared the halls with the lion that took your father away, just to make sure my baby was ok?" Orchard Maidens: "Of course!" "You're a fellow attendant!" "Aiyi would have broken her vow of pacifism if either of you were truly hurt!" "We knew she was yours just from the way she... shot lasers out her eyes." Wukong, tearing up: "Oh girls..." Wukong & the Maidens: (*all group hug, careful to give Yuebei some space*)

Yuebei considers the Maidens akin to aunties since they care for her so well and clearly have a good relationship with her mama. This indirectly leads to the mourning Xiwangmu to see the baby girl as a surrogate granddaughter once they are properlly introduced. Yuebei recognises something in the Queen Mother's heart is hurt and wants to hug and kiss it better. Xiwangmu in turn can only reminice on the times she and her dear Jade held their own cubs in their arms, the dawn of their empire.

[oh no, Yuebei's sucking her finger, means she's missing her mama... ... he knows i his heart of hearts he will not make the mistake again. even if it means betraying those he's held dear for so long...]

Yesss. Baby monkey who are separate from their mothers develop oral fixations/self-soothing behaviors, which is still seen if they successfully gain a foster mom/is returned. It's a learned habit. Now I'm imagining Yuebei becoming super attached to her pacifer long after she's weaned, just because its such a source of comfort for her. Wukong and Macaque had to ask around a bit to try and figure out how to wean Yuebei off the pacifer once her milk teeth started growing in.

Yellowtusk's redemption is very internal, but it reflects heavily in his actions. After the days of caring for Yuebei, and coming to realise how they as a Brotherhood treated their monkey brethern, Yellowtusk starts on the path of reversing the damage caused by the coup. Even if the Heavens never forgive him, he is ultimately glad that his brothers and their families are safe - a far greater reward than what Azure's plans brought him.

Note; in situations where the Brotherhood survive/are captured after S4 - I feel like the Buddha pulls a Jttw on them and suddenly theres three circlets on their heads for the next few millennium. >:)

[the fact that Macaque baby-talks to the obvious victor only makes Peng's humiliation worse... Macaque will forever tell the story of Peng's defeat when having proud dad bragging moments.] +[he takes a couple feathers for himself, makes a few different things out of them, like a quill. but he also made one or two for other people like Wukong and of course Yuebei's toy. they all bring him (and the receivers of the gifts) great joy.]

HAHA! XD

Peng ain't ever going to live down being turned into chicken paste by a baby monkey. A bunch of celestial soldiers and servants saw how the Six Eared Macaque waltzed in, picked up the baby monkey, and cooed at her while Peng lay broken upon the floor. Yuebei isn't some disguised immortal or god, she's a baby. One that quickly falls asleep in her parents arms once they're all reunited.

Macaque is so keeping a few of Peng's feathers as trophies. The quill idea is amazing - he'd sign everything with it. Wukong gets a cute broach made with one of the golden feathers intertwined, and thinks its beautiful (if a little arrogant but hey he loves trophies). Yuebei has a toy thats 80% feathers she's ripped from Peng, and 20% string and cloth that looks like a kitten toy - it's her fave thing besides her plush skeleton toy. Macaque sends Xiwangmu a few feather quills along with a letter of condolence - it brings her some comfort (as does the lion hide she drapes on her shoulder).

tysm for asking in! Its ok to take breaks from writing if we need it. I'm just glad that we can shoot ideas back and forth.

[brainrot-stitch]

Chronically ill tss light steve truthers wya....

Anyways chat u won't believe what I have on the mind rn

There's an episode early steve saga where light steve traps sabre in the snow thing and builds a house or temple or whatever and Sabres like "come on man I'm already sick this is cold:(" or whatever. Do u guys remember that. Or am I actually js fucking crazy and making this shit up wait hold on let me go check rq I FOUND IT "come on man I already have a cold you're letting me stay out in the snow and all that?" At 9:38 on the video where he first finds light steve. Giggles and kicks my feet imagine if sabre got sick(er) and light steve being both a steve and a cold icy snowy guy didn't know that. That the cold is not good for ppl. So sabre gets sick and light is like ?? Idk if this is a good idea or not it's 7 am I woke up at like 2 or maybe 4 I'm not sure I mightbe delulu

ANYWAYS random yapping woooo none of this is gonna b coordinated

Anyways anyways yea rainbow steve trauma from the experimenting and machines early steve saga but also. Sabre being scared of deep water and/or drowning. Because of both blue steve and rainbow steve mann that mf has almost drowned a LOT over and over again. Just so much water. Rip 💔💔 rainbow is like "let's go swimming!!!" One day in the rainbow town and Lukas is like "yea sure it's a hot day out that would b cool" or whatever and Sabre is like "uhhhh hahsha yeaahhhh sureee.."

Uhhh uh um

Early tss light and sabre spent a good amount of time together especially alone. I like to think they bonded during this time both off and on screen. Cuz like bro rarely shows up in the rainbow town era and past that idek. But even tho light and sabre aren't as close as rainbow and sabre I still like to think they're real good pals :3

Idk if I've said this before maybe I have maybe I haven't idk but sabre when nervous or thinking or worried and anxious or whatever will pace around or take walks or whatever. But will he completely silent (unless he's muttering to himself which I can totally see happening). But like his footsteps are light and near silent because of the muscle memory or whatever from being an ASSASSIN because that's so real to me I'm such a 'sabre was an assasin in the past before tss/rq' believer u guys don't understand how derranged I am about this. Anyways yea he will accidentally fnaf jumpscare ppl just like showing up behind them or whatever its so silly

I HAVE SO MANY HEADCANONS BUT I FLIPPING FORGET THEM ALL AS SOON AS I GO TO WRITE THEM DOWN FUCK MY STUPID FRICKING LIFE 😭😭😭😭

Also I am as much of a human sabre believer as I am an avian sabre believer. Like yeah let that man be a bird but also not depending on the mood. Both r awesome

Galaxy steve does NOT know how to spell gorgeous don't ask why this is necessary information. It's real he told me himself I swear

MORE ASSASSIN SABRE BS he's a super light sleeper from having to wake up at the slightest noise and be on guard all the time. He still frequently wakes up if he hears smth his subconscious perceives as abnormal. Also i think he'd have a pretty high pain tolerance but it gets higher as tss goes on because he gets struck by lighting so damn much u can't tell me his nerves aren't at least somewhat fried 😭😭😭😭give bro a break PLEASE. Also I think posture would be a big thing like he's all played back and relaxed and silly but when they have to go like sneak somewhere they (rainbow and lucas- or js whoever he's with at the time idk) can physically see as he slips back into old familiar habits with practiced crouching and silent footsteps and staying in the shadows and all that.

Lukas was also an assasin remember. Remember guys. And his assasin skin has a scar on his face and a blind eye I think wait let me go check

YEAH. YEAH so he totally still has that during tss. Giggles and kicks my feet and twirls my hair. Anyways I haven't finishes Sabres assassins creed series yet but I think Lukas would be used to Sabres habits but he himself would have more guard habits than assasin ones. Like the posture and unconsciously reaching to rest a hand on his sword in that classic templar (is that how it's spelled??) guard fashion as like an idle thing to do w his hands before remembering its not there.

Oh also another thing on the sabre vs water didn't he like. Didn't he almost drown a few times during his assassins series too? Bro water has got it OUT for him 😭 😭

[tzuyuscloud]

This isnt my usual post but im just gonna rant. I dont want no kind of negativity in my inbox or comments because I will not be tolerating it whatsoever.

I know we have all heard of or seen clips of the LSFM documentary.

1. I am actually so sick of people, might I add people who have no singing experience, job that has anything to do with singing or kind of teaching background or education in singing, not even criticizing BUT bullying Sakura over her vocals. We clearly know she’s been and idol for 13 years, stop bringing it up. She obviously won’t improve when people are basically calling her worthless 24/7 whenever she breathes. Hell I was an advanced choir kid since 6th grade and I still had a shaky voice and voice cracks when I would lose confidence. What she needs first is not vocal lessons but fucking therapy. Because everyone wants to be a critic, when their “critiques” aren’t even valid no real solutions of getting better.

Like yall rmbr when Momo had no confidence to sing bc yall thought the best solution was to talk shit. But now shes getting better because SHES GAINING CONFIDENCE. How do you expect one to get better at something when they constantly have two devils on both shoulders saying that they suck and need to quit.

2. Saying that the girls are “faking” or “great acresses” throughout the documentary shows how fucking sick you are and I hope you are aware that hell is insanely hot. Chaewon literally broke down because she doesn’t know why shes doing what shes doing for anymore, she doesn’t know how to be happy, had a fucking IV in her arm before filming Unforgiven, was sick but still decided to film because everyone likes to hold idols but not just idols WOMEN to high ass fucking standards but let it be (no shade at all) a man and all hell breaks loose.

This clearly shows the double standards the industry, companies, AND so called “fans” have towards female idols and male idols. A male idol can have a voice crack, bad vocals, and its seen as a bad vocal day. But let it be a female idol and suddenly she needs to quit or even worse k word herself. Have we not seen what happens in the industry when your so called “criticism” hurts idols. Have we not seen the lose of many idols who still deserves to be here on earth today. Seeing how Sakura, Chaewon, Yunjin, Kazuha and Eunchae have gone from smiling 24/7 to faking a smile. You can clearly see the hurt and tiredness in their eyes and its absolutely painful to look at. Have some fuckimg human decency and stop acting entitled to idols’ lives and their careers when all you are doing is sitting behind a screen.

3. This goes for every female idol ever compared to male idols. I don’t want anyone saying “oh well so n so from *insert bg*” no. The double standards are clearly there and let me give an example.

I AM A BLACK WOMAN. (Before anyone wants to comment)

Giselle says the n-word. Ppl hold her accountable, gives her death threats, drags it on to this very day.

Soul says the n-word. Ppl go “oh we all know Keeho scolded him after that” then everyone forgets about it.

You can clearly see the double standards. Women are expected to be 100x better from the day they start training compared to male idols who could make a mistake at a concert and not get their entire bloodline cursed and shamed for breathing.

I already know this is one thing about the industry that will never change, no matter how many lives are taken or at stake. No matter how many idols get insanely sick mentally and physically, its proven that yall only view them as objects of your happiness and once they get older (more so female idols) or mess up, you just throw them aside and look for another.

Lets be real, the reason why half of these idols are sick and unconfident isn’t just because of the companies and industry but because of yall fans as well. And imma say this. IF THE SHOE FITS THEN WEAR IT. IF IT DOESN’T PERTAIN TO YOU, THEN DO NOT GET OFFENDED. 🗣️

[jamiesfootball]

❔

❔Choose a random WIP and talk about it.

So I've got this random wip that's been sitting in my drafts that is basically:

Roy and Jamie stick around after the gala talking to each other and having a surprisingly great time about it

'Give him an inch and he'll act like it's been three weeks' Jamie then shows up the next day assuming him and Roy are like. Best friends

'Takes 5 to 6 months to process things' Roy Kent is like fuck no. You're an awful person.

Jamie: *shocked pikachu face*

Roy: *does not want to feel bad about it* *does not want to feel bad about it* *the prick did it to himself* ........ *FEELS BAD*

Roy: be less of a dick and then we'll talk

Jamie: .......how much less of a dick?

Roy: what?

Jamie: like, 20% less?

Roy: No.

Jamie: 30%?

Roy: At least 90% less of a dick than your current levels of dickishness

Jamie: Can't go that high, I've got an image to protect. 75%

Roy: 80.

Jamie: Deal. FIFA at my place?

Roy: the fuck did I just agree to

What takes place after that is a slapstick level of antics as Jamie attempts (fails) (succeeds while failing?) to be exactly 80% nicer, which to him means that for every 4 '''nice''' things he does, he gets to cash in 1 free coupon to be a dick and Roy can't get mad at him for it. He's turned being nice into a points system.

"At least the good outweighs the bad?" Ted suggests when Roy tells him, which tells Roy that Ted isn't taking this seriously.

And the nice things he does? Somewhere between 'confused but he's got the spirit' and 'I guess that technically counts but I'm not happy with it.'

Nate - Compliments his hair every time he sees him. “Well I’m talking up, yeah? So his perceived value will seem higher than it actually is. Technically this should count as two since he's clearly insecure about it - I mean, why else would he keep dying it all the time. He isn't fooling anyone.”

[Isaac is now convinced Jamie is gay and in love with Nate. Colin is dying inside because when he tries to correct Isaac, Isaac acts like Colin is being homophobic. Jamie has no idea. Nate's self-esteem grows exponentially fast.]

Sam - Steps over him. Gets yelled at by Roy for not checking on his teammate. Points out Sam isn't actually hurt. Roy tells him it's still his job to back Sam up. Jamie backs Sam up by going at the guy who tackled him and gets yellow carded off the field.

This is not what Ted intended, but it's not...not the kind of behavior he wants from Jamie?

The entire team is just confused. Roy doesn't know how this became his problem.

Jamie is... confused for other reasons. Because he only did all this stuff, yeah, because there's this stupid bit inside him that he can't seem to shut up that's always been hurt that Roy Kent seems to hate him. And now Roy seems to (mostly) like (tolerate) him, and it's a little terrifying how fucking starved he is for that now. Not just from Roy either. Somewhere along the lines the other players on the team have warmed up to him too, and Ted looks pleased with him lately, and it all just way to much positive attention and validation for someone who's been starved for it for so long.

To his horror, the whole being nice thing is becoming a reflex. He hardly notices now when he tosses out a compliment that Nate's looking sharp today. He cashes in a point to tell Sam his passing was shit, then follows it up with a 'but you're looking faster out there' so he can start working up to the next point. Sam smiles at him like he never ever said the first part.

Sometimes Jamie catches himself being nicer and realizes he forgot to count it towards his points at all.

The more confused Jamie gets, the more concerned Roy finds himself about this whole weird situation. Frustratingly, he finds he actually likes Jamie. When he's not going out of his way to be a pain in the ass, Roy actually enjoys his company. Plus, now that he's tolerable to be around, Roy can stomach passing to him, and Richmond is starting to play well?

Then Jamie gets sent back to City : )

[iris-sistibly]

BAAAAAAAABES OMG!!!! EPISODE 10 IS GIVINGGGGG!!!

It's giving cuteness, it's giving love, it's giving ✨QUEEN✨ it's giving fucking satisfaction my loves!

📍Let's start off with some really funny scenes brought to you by Hong Mama, it's so freaking satisfying to see her get humbled over and over and over again! Her getting off of her high horse has been long overdue tbh, that scene when she finally got her salary after work, only for Baek Mama to deduct it for the coffee she paid for (her), God her face was priceless. Everyone say it with me, "DESERVE!" Perhaps Mama Baek can teach her a thing or two about mothering. It's about time she learns that too.

📍Papa Hong and Papa Baek having a heart-to-heart conversation over their frustrations at losing something, and almost everyone seems to turn their backs on them. Them bonding over Kdrama while having a drinking session at the same time is probably one of the most wholesome scenes in the show.

📍Mama Baek being such a loving mama to Hae-in 😭😭 even though it's clear that she loves her son, she didn't tolerate Hyun-woo's bullshit when the latter confessed about Hae-in's illness and the divorce. I hope all parents will take note of this: you don't tolerate your kids' wrongdoings, you make them own up to their mistakes and guide them in doing the right thing. That's why Hyun-woo knows how to take accountability, his mother taught him well.

📍Soo-cheol is actually growing on me. He's an immature idiot at first, but he really has a big heart. He's the one who got fooled and dumped on yet he still worries over baby Geon-u and Da-hye. Yes he was hurt, but he loves Da-hye so much that he can't even bring himself to be angry at her. He sees the goodness in her and points at the right person who caused their family to crumble. I can't wait for him to man up and fight to bring his family back.

📍Oh my beautiful BaekHong, the "divorced" couple who acts like they're still married. Hae-in acting like a typical wife who scolds her husband for getting into trouble, but still takes care of him anyway and Hyun-woo the boxing champion trembling at his angry wife 🤣.

📍I also love the fact that they finally have that much needed talk about their marriage, what went wrong, what they could have done, and Hyun-woo having no regrets at marrying Hae-in and would gladly choose her again and again. Dear Lord, where can I get myself a Baek Hyun-woo?

📍But damn Hae-in exposing Eun-seong during the press conference was the BEST!!! Dude was so sure he was gonna marry her but Hae-in isn't the queen of Queens for NOTHING. He really did underestimate her, I kid you not when I say that I literally flipped my middle finger when the camera focused on Eun-seong *clears throat* with all due respect to Park Sung-hoon, you are a great actor sir but I loathe your character. Yoon Eun-seong is the very definition of "delulu is the solulu" again, Hae-in would rather die than be with him, and since this episode is so satisfying, I'm gonna save my rant for the next episode.

📍I have always loved the dynamics of Hyun-woo and Hae-in, they may be different in a lot of things but they complement each other in so many ways. For example, when someone is trying to fuck up the other, or when one of them is in danger, there will be hell. Hyun-woo is very protective of Hae-in, he'll fight tooth and nail for her even if it means getting hurt in the process. This man will fight for her to the death. Hae-in on the other hand is the type of person who would rather take all the pain to herself than seeing her loved ones suffer. She will never stand back when it comes to Hyun-woo, and when someone tries to fuck him up, she'll go above and beyond to save him, and she'll give you hell if you mess with her husband. Since the beginning they have always fought for each other, but in the next coming episodes I hope they'll learn to fight together because seriously, they are such a power couple.

📍Hae-in still calls Hyun-woo her husband 🥹🥹

📍Shout out to Grace for not being too stupid, you have chosen the right team to help ma'am. And Da-hye...girl, come back already.

[perplexingluciddreams]

Quick update on seating:

Grey chair (aka Recliner Support System from Special Tomato) didn't work for me. It was good in a few ways, but still not enough support for my body. And actually caused me a lot of pain. We tried it many different ways with several adjustments. But it was always painful.

We tried with and without backrest: with = too much painful pressure on my stick-out bones, without = too much gap at lower back and not enough lateral (side) support to stop from sliding/slouching/slumping to the side. The seat part felt comfortable, but there was nothing to stop my legs from splaying out, so my hips were still not quite right (and definitely other joints of my legs are NOT aligned properly).

The harness was not as good as I thought it might be. It didn't really hold me securely like I hoped, it just either created more painful pressure on parts of my back, or didn't do anything at all (depending on how tight it was). The headrest just put my neck at weird angles and made it stiff and sore for days afterwards.

In fact, I was stiff and sore ALL OVER for days and days afterwards (and I tried it several different days, several different ways - every time just stiff in a slightly different place).

I am disappointed and upset that it doesn't work. I feel like I am running out of options, and my pain is just increasing.

I actually have a lot of concern about my back. I have known for a long time that my back is weird and wrong. It hurts all the time. My ribs on my right side (at the back) stick up, and my right shoulder blade is more prominent compared to the left. Both my shoulders are rounded, but more on the right (which doesn't make sense to me because the left side is weaker). And my neck is always bent forwards - when I tilt it back it makes my head be looking up, like my neck is "stuck" tilted down??

I don't know exactly why my back is like this, I just know that it has been like this for a long time and seems worse now (??). Mum says it is just my posture and due to hypotonia (low muscle tone) and left side weakness. That is definitely a BIG factor - it effects everything about my body.

But I am so confused why my back won't go flat and straighten out when I stretch, or press it flat. It just hurts more in those stick-out areas.

And I won't even go into detail about how hypotonia and hypermobility and left side weakness affects the muscles - how my body tries to compensate, etc. And how some muscles get short and tight, and others get lengthened and loose. Everything is fucked, basically.

I just want to be comfortable and not in pain. My bed is the only option (other than swing) that I have to sit, and it is not supporting my body well at all. In fact, it causes more pain long term, because it is keeping me in awful posture. And at this point, even leaning back on pillows still hurts the right side of my back!!! I need to re-teach my body to be in a correct posture.

It is just so difficult to do when I cannot tolerate an upright position at all, need to be very reclined majority of the time, cannot hold myself up, cannot cope with the pain from pressure on so many parts of my body.

Mum says she will try and get a seating assessment for me through rehab physio people, but I don't have high hopes.

I am so frustrated. And sore. And angry.

[monstraduplicia]

tag game!!

tagged by @saltbind tysm <3333

Do you make your bed? not unless I'm changing the sheets or having company over. I don't really see the point in it for me

What's your favorite number? 25 and 23. don't ask me why they've just stuck

What is your job? I am a housemom at a strip club. Basically I keep the dressing room clean, take care of the dancers, count money, and do paperwork. it's a fun job that really works for me, but the pay isn't like. the best ever.

If you could go back to school, would you? literally if I had the time and money I would love to finish my degree so I could get an actual adult job (or be a teacher like I've always wanted) but alas.

Can you parallel park? I've never tried and I think I would be too scared to try if the situation arose

A job you had that would surprise people? I've only ever had the one job but it surprises people all the time bc they don't know it even exists

Do you think aliens are real? probably but that has nothing to do with me so I don't have much of an opinion. I feel the same way about God

Can you drive a manual car? nope

What's your guilty pleasure? i am not catholic so i do not feel guilt about things that bring me pleasure but I do get embarrassed sometimes. reading fanfiction when I'm hyperfixating on something is high on the embarrassing list. not bc it's fanfiction but specifically the subject matter

Tattoos? none. ideally I would like some but i have zero pain tolerance and also zero money so never gonna happen

Favorite color? black, red, all shades of brown, burnt orange, and mustard yellow

Favorite type of music? most genres of rock, especially 90s alt

Do you like puzzles? i love puzzles!!!!!! it's why I love putting furniture together bc it's just a big puzzle

Any phobias? no. I've never been like. needlessly scared of things. I do really fucking hate spiders though

Favorite childhood sport? I've never liked sports like. at all? dodgeball was kind of fun if I had to pick one. does that even count?

Do you talk to yourself? constantly just not out loud. I have a never ending stream of consciousness at all times that shifts from narrating to conversing with myself to first person analysis of what I'm doing/seeing

What movies do you adore? dangerous question for me but some of my favorites are: velvet Goldmine, mysterious skin, dazed and Confused, empire records, chained, shame, cruel intentions, deadgirl, Detroit rock city, the dreamers, the cell, interview with the vampire, magnolia, labyrinth, hard candy, sex lies and videotape, mirrormask, amelie, fallen angels, almost famous, before sunrise, one hour photo, possum, the devils candy, all that jazz, the boat that rocked, slc punk, the fifth element, st elmos fire, the company of wolves, the passenger, like minds, a reflection of fear, the holdovers, and dinner in america

Coffee or tea? tea bc I hate coffee with a passion but I'm not even that big a fan of tea

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? when I was a kid I wanted to be an actress or singer, but I've wanted to be a teacher since I was like 14

tagging: @emiliosandozsequence @vampireassistant @mrcrepsley @planswithinplans @maythyknife @jamesheathridge

[foxymoxynoona]

Tell Me What Changed (Part 11 A)

Banner and lines by the talented @awrkive

Summary: Alex and Jungkook have been best friends since childhood –actual best friends. She is NOT in love with him, for real, and wishes people would stop assuming that. Why does no one question if he’s in love with her? Huh? But it might have to do with his successful fuckboy status, while Alex is very much… not that. Which is fine and doesn’t matter! Until Jimin’s impending wedding leaves her eager for a date and willing to put herself out there, and Jungkook can’t believe what happens next.

Fuckboy Best Friend JK x OC

CW and tags: fuckboy behavior, jealousy, pining, heartbreak, angst, bad language, explicit sex, sexy photos, alcohol, f2l, who knows what else I'm making it up as we go

Read on AO3 here or below cut

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Read Epilogue

Note: I did it again, the chapter is too long for tumblr so I have to split it into three parts. Make sure you read A first!!!

Jungkook wasn’t nervous for his date with Alex. Why would he be nervous? It was Alex. He knew everything Alex liked. He knew how to have a good time with her. He knew how to make her laugh until she’d yell she was going to pee herself and go waddling to the bathroom while he shouted things after her to try and make it happen. He knew what food she liked and how long she could tolerate standing in line for an attraction and that she didn’t mind the cold but she didn’t like to get wet in the rain because she didn’t like her hair and clothes sticking to her skin. 

Once he had wanted to test that, run naked through the rain with her. She had of course refused and punched him in the stomach for the suggestion. He wondered if now he had a better chance of convincing her… for science, obviously! Did she still mind the rain if her hair was in a bun and she was totally naked in it? What if he was on top of her, blocking some of it?

But in all seriousness, he might not really date other than an occasional activity preceding a good fuck but if he was ever going to go on a date, Alex was the easiest partner for it. They could have fun –and had!-- anywhere: the grocery store, a furniture store, CVS to get their flu shots, McDonald’s at 2am, urgent care that time his ears were stopped up so badly and his fever was so high he started to cry and she forced him to go and kept referring to him as “my son” to the nurses and he couldn’t stop laughing despite the pain. 

So yeah, why would he be nervous about a date? He had no doubts about success. He was going to take her to minigolf, school her ass, then tacos from the best truck in town which he had confirmed would be at Hoff Memorial Park;  they’d eat sitting in the cold on a picnic bench and then he’d take her home to his bed before the rain started around nine and he’d, you know. Spaghetti her. He’d put a lot of thought into what positions he’d use too. A lot. Needed to be sure he’d maximize her pleasure and not bend or twist her in a way that hurt her. Stroke her just right. He wanted to win a scream! Leave her a trembling melted mess in his arms. Ah, it’d be so good… she’d be all fuck, Koo, I finally get it now, you’re really fucking good at this. Make her eat her words alongside his dick, that thing she’d always said with a laugh, damn, if the insta-girls could see the real you they’d be heartbroken.

He needed to show her what’s good.

He had a plan.

And then the comments started.

Nate: “Oh damn, you actually have a date with her? Wasn’t that last guy really good at dates? Good luck, my man.”

Namjoon: “Oh. That’s the date you planned? Isn’t that just… what you guys normally do?”

Taehyung: “Yeah this is the time, you can really show her that you’re serious and mature and want to do this, so like, whole nine yards, something big and– oh. Minigolf? Um…”

Sabina: “Don’t take her to minigolf. She deserves more than minigolf.”

Anita: “Hm, I think minigolf just seems a little easy and impersonal. But you know her best! If you think that’s the kind of date she likes, then…”

Jimin: “You messaged me on my honeymoon for this? It’s fine, Alex will think it’s funny.”

Fuck. Fuck! As Jungkook paced his apartment the afternoon before the date, he realized his plan was no good. He didn’t want Alex to think their date was funny. He wanted her to think it was romantic. He wanted her to be awed by his charm and suaveness… suavity…. State of being suave. He wanted her to be swept off her feet. He wanted her to forget Hobi was ever a guy she dated and it sucked because Nate was right, Hobi was good at dates. He showed up and showed out and Alex was always all flustered and bubbly after their dates. Jungkook wanted Alex to be like that afterwards. Not just like “yep that was an ok time hanging out with my good buddy JK.” He wanted blushes and giggles and then bam, spaghetti!

This called for a fucking re-plan. And fast. 

He showered so he’d smell fresh and lotioned and not like the mall, slapping on cologne and spot-fixing his acne in between looking things up on his laptop perched precariously on the bathroom counter. A few google searches and phone calls later and he’d completely redone their plans for the night, pulling out all the stops. Was it going to hurt his bank account? Yes. Was she worth it? Also yes.

Much more at ease about the whole thing, Jungkook took one more look at himself in the mirror, snapped a selfie, and posted it to his socials for the pep talk he needed.

[TheJK.1997]: look good feel good treat her good, ready for the surf and turf. Best wine recs for Hollyoak Vineyard go

He checked himself one last time, ran over a spot he missed shaving real quick, and was out the door in plenty of time to pick her up early, just to really surprise her. Definitely not because he was getting a stomachache from nerves and needed to do something other than pace from living room to kitchen and pick at his lips.

She wasn’t ready. There he was with a fucking bouquet of flowers even though it made him feel like a fucking idiot because Hoseok gave her flowers so it would look like he was copying but obviously he couldn’t not show up with flowers –there he was with a fucking bouquet of flowers, sitting in a living room he’d been in at least one thousand times since he’d known Alex, while her dad sat in the chair and watched a Planet Earth documentary and her mom made tea in the kitchen even though he had assured her he didn’t want any. They had said hello to him and not much else, both like this was any other time that he’d come over and also like it wasn’t and they weren’t supposed to acknowledge his presence as he just sat there on the couch in slacks and a button up with fucking flowers to give their fucking daughter who was fucking late. It was mortifying. Jungkook wished he could melt into the cracks between the couch cushions. He wished Dilong would come running out and scratch his throat or piss on him or something so he had an excuse to just leave.

“How’s work?” Baba Song asked him over the sound of flamingos feeding.

“It’s good. Busy at the holidays.”

“How is your dad’s– ah, I will just ask him, I’ll see him tomorrow.”

Jungkook nodded. He wasn’t actually sure what about his father was unwell right now, so he should ask. He pulled out his phone and saw they were going to have to hurry to make their dinner reservation. 

“AHh I had better check on her–” Jungkook mumbled, starting to stand. Mama Song was just setting tea in front of him and took it upon herself to shout for Alex followed by Chinese. Alex answered in short Chinese, then came down the hall.

“I’m ready, ok? What’s the rush? I was doing my makeup– oh?” She stopped in front of him and her eyes went right to the flowers. “You brought me flowers?”

Jungkook was instantly mortified. She was probably comparing them to the ones Hoseok had bought her.

“They’re for your mom,” he quickly corrected, thrusting them towards Mama Song. 

Who let out a cackle of a laugh and said, “I will put them in water for Alex. I have a perfect vase. They are beautiful.”

“Wait, I want to see them,” Alex cried, leaping after her mother. She bent down to look close and Jungkook felt like she might as well be examining his limp dick, he was so embarrassed. They were supposed to be nice. He’d bought really nice ones at the standalone shop next to the Starbucks –not the one she worked at, not the one Hoseok worked at, a different one! He didn’t know what kinds of flowers they were but there was lots of color and some spiky looking ones because they looked fun and he thought spiky flowers made sense for her. 

“They’re really pretty,” she said.

“You’re really pretty,” he countered automatically, an old way they had of teasing each other except this time he’d accidentally been nice. Baba Song coughed on the couch and Jungkook thought it had to be related. Cool, he already felt like he was dying anyway as Alex grinned wide and looked him up and down and he was sure she was laughing at him. Baba Song laughing at him too was exactly what he didn’t need.

“You look like you’re going on a date,” Alex mused.

“Uh…” The panic was instant. “Aren’t I?”

“Koopa,” she laughed and hit him on the arm. “You’d better be! Let’s go, weren’t you in a rush a minute ago? You know it takes time to do my makeup without you to help.”

“It looks good,” he said, though the points weren’t quite even which he only noticed because sometimes it took her ten tries before she’d give up and ask him to do it. He started to offer to fix it now but she was already headed towards the door and it didn’t matter. 

“Goodbye Mr. Song. Mrs. Song,” he called. Should he promise to have her home at a certain time? Even addressing them that way felt weird but like, he was taking their daughter out on a date, he had to seem sort of respectful and responsible, right? “Thank you for the tea!” He hadn’t even touched it.

Alex’s skirt was very short, he noticed as they went to his car. She had fancy green tights on underneath it so he couldn’t see skin or anything but it did occur to him that if she bent over, he might not even need to hike it up. Not that he was just thinking about fucking! It really felt more like a nervous impulse to think about it, because he was way more nervous about the not-fucking parts right now as he hurried around and slid into the driver’s seat. He wasn’t even trying to fuck her tonight! He just wanted to hit it out of the park, this whole “date with the goal of earning another date” thing.

“So where are we going?” she asked as he started the car. It was cold and he wished he had thought to run out and start it early so she wouldn’t have to sit in it; she was wearing a new coat, not her usual bulky one that made her look like a burnt marshmallow. You know, in a cute way!

“Um… you know that steakhouse over on–”

“Steakhouse,” she repeated, eyes going wide. “You can’t afford steak!”

“You don’t know what I can’t afford. I’m taking you to a steakhouse!”

“Ok ok geez.” She wiggled in her seat to get comfortable. “I figured you’d just take me for tacos or something. Steak is fine.”

He scoffed, “Come on. I’m a better date than that.”

“All right James Bond or whatever…” she mumbled. “Didn’t know you had something you were trying to prove or whatever.”

“Yeah well…” He didn’t know what to say to that. Yeah, of course he had something to prove. “Is it warm enough for you?” He made it warmer, just in case, even though he was starting to sweat. 

They lapsed into silence. The roads were icy so he didn’t want to be too distracted but it made him nervous for her to just be sitting there staring out the window. Silence was bad on a date, that was something everyone knew. Silence was definitely not going to leave her starry-eyed and weak in the knees.

“So uh, how’s work?”

“Ugh, next question,” she snorted, and reached for the radio dial.

“No, don’t turn music on. Let’s just… talk.”

“O…k….”

He started talking just to fill the silence. He told her about his own work, and about Appa thinking he wanted to do Christmas lights and throwing one lit net over a bush and calling it a day, and about his new nephew who was still pretty useless but starting to look cuter now. He realized they had seen each other a few days ago so these life updates weren’t necessary but he wanted some sort of connection.

“Uh… well, there’s not much going on with me… well, Hobi brought a box of my stuff to work today, so that kind of sucked–”

“He brought it to your work?!”

“Well he waited in the parking lot but yeah… I mean we agreed to do that today but still that sucked in the morning and then I got home and Dilong puked on my bed and I stubbed my toe while I was getting ready… but you brought me flowers, so that’s the best part of my day so far,” she smiled. 

“They were for your mom…”

“Oh yeah? For Mrs. Song?” she teased. 

But he didn’t feel like being teased because this was a date and they were supposed to be getting to know each other and charming each other, so instead he suggested, “Ok let’s not talk about Hobi or uh, other exes or anything tonight.”

“Um… ok… Geez, sensitive much?’

“It’s my date with you.”

“You just asked me how my day was and I told you.”

“Ok so now I know and I’m just saying we can talk about other things now.”

“Ok like what?”

“Um…” Jungkook wracked his brain, but everything that came to mind wasn’t the kind of thing he wanted to talk about on their first date. Funny but inappropriate memes, friend gossip, political outrage, bemoaning the economy, a really bloody anime he’d started and thought she might like too, none of it was the way he wanted to represent himself right now as a respectable and respectful guy. Boyfriend material.

“We’re here,” he announced. Saved by the drive time. He pulled into a spot near the water’s edge –just a pond, but definitely something the steakhouse capitalized on for atmosphere. Fairy lights hung above the walkway through a little windy garden to reach the front of the restaurant.

“Woah, this place is nice,” Alex murmured, bumping into him as she looked around. “Are you sure about this? It’s really fancy… I didn’t dress for something this fancy…”

“I’m sure.” He took her hand and looped it through his arm. “You deserve something like this. It’s our first date. Right?” He looked eagerly down at her, needing to hear her agree that it was in fact their first date and that was in fact a big deal to her too.

“I guess but you really didn’t have to go to so much trouble. You know me, I’m easy–”

“I don’t know you. This is our chance to get to know each other,” he corrected. “As –you know, this new way of seeing each other.” As romantic partners, he couldn’t bring himself to say.

He thought her smile looked unconvinced but at least she was smiling. They reached the front door –and now he saw a side ramp they could have taken right to the front door instead of wandering through the garden. Uh well. He opened the door for her and they walked in to easily the nicest restaurant Jungkook had ever been to in his life. The host was wearing a tux. 

Shit this place was going to be expensive.

“Good evening,” the host greeted them as Jungkook shirked his coat off.

“Hi. Um, Jungkook Jeon, table for two. I have reservations for 6:00.” 

“Ah, yes, Jeon, hm…” The host didn’t move as his gaze trailed down Jungkook and then slid to Alex. “My apologies, Mr. Jeon, but were you aware that there is a dress code for dining here?”

Jungkook glanced down at his slacks and dark blue button up and nodded, “Yeah. We dressed nicely.” He glanced at Alex and realized he hadn’t told her to dress nicely but yeah, she looked great: short red skirt, dark green legs, a fluffy white sweater with… pearls? Had she really worn a sweater with pearls all across the chest to their date– ok, but she hadn’t meant anything filthy by it, he was sure of that. Just because his mind went there didn’t mean hers did.

“I’m sorry, the dress code is formal. That means at least a tie and jacket for the gentleman and formal evening dress or pantsuit for the lady.” 

“Uh…” Jungkook glanced at their outfits again. “Well this is what we have on so…”

The host looked performatively apologetic as he said, “I’m sorry, I cannot seat you.”

“But… but I made a reservation,” Jungkook argued. “No one’s going to die because I’m not wearing a jacket.”

“Neither of you is dressed appropriately for the restaurant, I’m afraid–”

It was embarrassing, sure, but he also didn’t want Alex to hear someone insinuate she wasn’t dressed nicely, so he ignored that she was grabbing his arm and argued, “Ok but she looks like a million bucks so I don’t– you just need me to put on a jacket and a tie–”

“Jungkook, let’s just go,” she said, trying to push him back towards the door.

“But I made reservations. This isn’t the ‘50s. No one under 50 has a jacket and tie for dinner at a shitty suburban steakhouse on the swamp–”

“Koo, let’s go,” she grunted, and managed to push him back against the door. He pushed it and stepped back out into the cold and felt the anger flare up freely now.

“What the fuck kind of place– am I crazy? Who fucking cares whether I have a jacket and a tie on for–”

“Well they care, it’s their rule!”

“It’s discrimination against young people!”

“Yeah, did you see the people eating in the restaurant?” she laughed. “I don’t think they want young people eating there. They want like rich uppercrust people.”

“Those people don’t live here.”

“Well this place is kind of famous, isn’t it? Maybe they drive in…”

“Is it?”

“I think it was on a TV show,” Alex admitted, before pointing to a plaque beside the door. Apparently it had, and won a bunch of awards. No wonder they cared about the way they looked or whatever.

“Yeah well showing all that by the door is tacky,” Jungkook scowled. Waves of anger and embarrassment rolled over him. “My money is as good as the next guy’s.”

“Ok but who cares, we don’t have to eat at a place like this. Let’s just pick somewhere else,” Alex said, nudging him towards the ramp.

Ugh, Hoseok would definitely have worn the suit and tie.

“Maybe we can just run back to my place and I can grab the suit I wore to the wedding–”

“No, I’m not dressed like that either and I don’t want to change. I spent way longer than I want to admit figuring out what to wear that would be cute and comfy,” she protested.

“But I want to take you to this nice place–”

“I don’t care about the nice place!” she snapped. He really did think she snapped at him, and it shut him up. They marched in silence down the ramp back towards his car. They got into the car. They buckled their seatbelts.

Bad start to the date.

“We can go to Taco Bell for all I care,” Alex suggested.

“That’s a shitty date,” Jungkook sulked. “That’s the kind of date you think I am?”

“There’s nothing wrong with Taco Bell…”

“I’m not taking you to fucking Taco Bell,” he groaned and pulled out his phone and began scrolling again. What was close, and nice, and not a fucking Taco Bell, and not going to turn them away at the door because they weren’t dressed in some shitty elitist outdated formal dining attire. Fuck, he was so angry about it! Even if that was a rule, they couldn’t bend it? They couldn’t seat them somewhere private or something? He was trying to impress a girl here!

“We could do Italian… is that too much wine though? We’re going to a wine tasting afterwards.”

“A wine tasting?” Alex repeated. “Um…”

“You don’t like a wine tasting?”

“No no it’s fine!” Alex assured him. “That’s cute. You really… yeah, it’ll be great,” she smiled at him. “And sure, Italian is fine! Let’s do Italian. What place are you thinking?”

“Tomasso Trattoria and Enoteca,” Jungkook read, and handed her the phone as he started to drive so she could look at it.

“Woah… this place is still really nice though… I was thinking like Olive Garden–”

“Alex, can you please let me take this date seriously? I realize maybe you don’t care but–”

“I care! Care about this being our date? I care!”

“I want it to be a special date!”

“I get it! This place looks very special,” she told him, setting his phone in the cradle with the GPS up. 

He knew his frustration was a wall between them but she didn’t break it down this time. Usually she was good at that. He didn’t know what it meant, that she didn’t try. He wasn’t sure how to do it on his own, because if this was a date with someone else he wouldn’t care, he’d just change the subject and move on and vent about it to Alex later, or invent an excuse to take the girl home and go home. To Alex. Obviously she knew how he was, inside and out, but as he drove in the silence he started to feel a deeper embarrassment, like she’d seen him do something wrong. It wasn’t wrong for him to be annoyed with the restaurant for not letting them in! They had told him formal dress when he made the reservation sure but they didn’t explain that meant anything other than just looking your best! He looked his best! Alex looked her best! What, were they going to wear their wedding clothes or something?

“You know I was thinking about how crazy it is that just everything is Christmas this time of year,” Alex mused. “It’s not like I didn’t know everything is too Christmas and that there are lots of people who doesn’t celebrate who have to deal with it but I guess because we celebrate without being Christian, I didn’t really think about how fucking annoying it is for people who really don’t celebrate. Rebekah was telling me people always act like they’re sorry for her…” She continued to talk about it and he took the moment to breathe deeply. Ok. Change in plans. But Alex wasn’t demanding he take her home, so it would be ok. Even if he didn’t know why the fuck this was what she decided to ramble about, at least it was something.

The Italian place was busier, smaller, not on the water, but still nice and they didn’t get turned away at the door. The host took their coats for them. The tables had real candles, which Jungkook didn’t realize he cared about until they sat down and he saw the actual flicker from the breeze of their motions. The menus were short, which a Reddit thread had taught him meant it was a sign of a good restaurant. Their waiter had a bowtie and a black vest and offered to call over a sommelier to guide their wine selection.

“We’re going to a wine tasting after this,” Alex informed the waiter. “So I’ll wait on the wine.”

“We can have a glass or something here,” Jungkook argued.

Alex shook her head and tapped the wine menu, maybe trying to show him that the cheapest wine was $15/glass at a glance. But he had brought her to an Italian restaurant! For a fancy dinner! Wine was part of a fancy dinner!

“You don’t have to, but I’ll have a glass of something, send the sommelier over,” Jungkook insisted. 

Alex decided she’d have the glass too. They had to show their cards and mused as they always did about how old they would have to be before the stopped getting carded. The waiter brought them bread and promised their calamari appetizer would be out quickly.

“Wow, it’s so romantic here,” Alex murmured. Jungkook felt the sigh of relief radiate from his chest. The candle light danced across her skin as she studied the elaborate murals on the walls, partially obscured by heavy red curtains. Elegant music played over the low din of dining. They were towards the edge of a large room, tucked into a little booth by the window with a view of nothing but trees. A grand piano stood in the center of what looked like a dance floor, tables sparse on the wooden floor.

“I feel bad,” she continued. “I didn’t realize you wanted to do such fancy things, I would have dressed nicer.”

“I think you dressed nice.”

“I did too until I saw you,” she laughed. “I guess I forgot…”

“Forgot what?” he asked, not following.

“What you look like.”

“Whaaaat?” he grinned, warmed by the flattery. The compliments from her felt sincere in a way they hadn’t before. He was used to teasing, so he almost didn’t trust it, but she didn’t look like she was teasing him. Now he found himself hungry for more. Did she really think he was hot? Not just aware that other people thought so, but she thought so? She liked the way he looked? She liked the way he dressed?

“Oh my god,” she snickered and rolled her eyes. “Do you always take your ego on dates with you?”

“No, I left it at home tonight with my jacket and tie,” he joked. She smiled and looked so pretty in the candlelight. He draped his hand across the table, palm down, to see if she’d take the hint and put hers on it. Would they be the kind of couple that held hands at dinner? Obviously not on a first date, but someday would they sit on the same side of the booth? Well, in a more serious way than when they did that at Wendy’s so they could both put their feet up on the other bench, that was different.

“The mood lighting is so… romantic,” she said again. “I feel like I should have worn high heels.”

“Your boots have heels.”

“Yeah but you know what I mean…’

“Do you want to dance until our food gets here?” The question was impulsive. No one else was dancing. But that could mean she wouldn’t have to feel nervous or pressured about dancing on beat with him. They could just hold onto each other and sway, here by the table or over on the dance floor. Maybe other people could join. He had enjoyed dancing with her so much, it would be a nice thing to add tonight.

But her eyes went wide as she cried, “Hey, don’t make fun of me!”

“What–”

“Oh god, don’t joke about it,” she laughed and covered her face. “How fucking humiliating…”

Jungkook hadn’t meant it as a joke. He thought it would be romantic. He certainly hadn’t meant to embarrass her just by the suggestion of dancing together. Unsure what else to say, he racked his brain trying to think of topics. The problem was that the lists of things to talk about on your first date were things like ask about where they grew up and ask about their hobbies and ask them what makes them unique? And ask them where their favorite place in the world is. But Jungkook knew all of these things about her! He wanted to learn something new about her. He wanted to seem new to her.

“Uh… what’s your favorite place in the world?” he asked as she untangled the little legs of their calamari appetizer.

“Mine? I don’t know… my parents’ house? I guess it was our old apartment.”

“Oh. Really?” he frowned.

“Why are you frowning?!”

“That’s just kind of sad.”

“Ok. Ouch.”

“No! I mean because we don’t live there anymore.”

“Oh. Yeah. How annoying,” she sighed. “So what’s Namjoon like as a roommate?”

“He’s a good roommate,” Jungkook said because he didn’t want to gossip or vent or seem complainy. Namjoon was a good roommate! Sure, he had a household aesthetic and a lot of Jungkook’s stuff didn’t meet the mark so he was kind of crowded into his room. 

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say? Come on, you complained about living with me all the time.”

“Ah, yeah, sorry about that…”

“Huh?”

Embarrassed that she’d bring that up, he sipped his $15/glass wine. Yeah, he was worried about that. Alex was his best friend and he’d always treated her like a best friend but that wasn’t the same way you wanted to treat a girlfriend. He had a lot of things to undo. Actually, that was it, their first date wasn’t about learning, it was about unlearning all the things he would never have let a girl see about him. 

“You’re being so weird,” she laughed, and nudged his foot under the table. “Is something wrong?”

“Hm? No, why would something be wrong?”

“Don’t let that other place bother you. I like this place a lot better anyway, this calamari is really good! I hope you still like me when I’m bloated from too much fettuccine…”

Instantly he assured her, “Of course I do. I mean, not that you’ll be bloaty or– I mean, obviously the body naturally looks different after a big dinner but it’s not– I won’t notice that kind of– it’s just normal…”

“It was a joke,” she said. “I’m wearing a bulky sweater, you won’t be able to tell anyway. Unless you get me naked.” She arched her eyebrow. 

“We, um– tonight it’s um… were you thinking that? I thought we’d just have a nice date–”

“Oh. That’s not… nice? OK, I mean I’m half joking, I didn’t realize you had such a tight schedule for tonight!”

Jungkook had never felt so awkward and weird around Alex in his life. The only thing he knew to do was try and get the conversation back on track to Impressive Date Approved topics:

“Hey, so I was watching a really interesting show the other day. It was about the brain and all the changes it goes through from like a baby to a dead person– an old person.”

“The brain does very much still change after you die,” she pointed out. Yeah, dead people and rotting brains was definitely not on the approved list. No girl went home from a date and was like oh boy he was so handsome and charming and funny and we talked about decaying brains. I’m so in love.

She had not said that to him yet. That she loved him. There hadn’t been any real confession or labeling and he was obviously fine with that, he didn’t need labels, but still, it would be cool to get her to say something he could be sure of.

“No, don’t be like that, it was really cool to see– oh thank Christ the food is here.”

“You in a hurry or something?” she laughed. Which reminded him that they did have a scheduled start time for the wine tasting. He checked his phone as the waiter set their food down. 

“Our wine tasting is at 7:30.”

“What?! Then yeah we don’t have much time!”

“Yeah.” Hm, he hadn’t really done the math right– or well he had when he’d made reservations for six at the other place, he just hadn’t counted on needing to change restaurants. Actually they have very little time. “Uh, well, ok, let’s eat fast then…” Eating fast was not romantic. “Or we can miss it. It’s fine.”

But she waved her hand, already twirling pasta around her fork, “No way, we’ll make it. You worked so hard planning all of this! I can eat fast. Damn this is good pasta…. You want to try this?”

He did, but he already envisioned the noodles swinging down and getting on his dark shirt. And then she’d want to try his, which was spaghetti and meatballs (it was one of the cheapest things on the menu, ok?!) and he’d drop one and it would bounce onto her white sweater. It wasn’t worth the risk.

“Nah, we can just eat our own food,” he assured her. 

And promptly knocked his glass of wine to the ground, shattering it.

**

Alex had never seen Jungkook acting so weird in her life. He swung back and forth between distracted and too intense. One moment she’d think he was bored and the next he’d ignore whatever she just said and start telling her a play by play of some brain documentary he watched! He was clearly pissed about the first restaurant turning them away but then didn’t seem to care about the next place even though it was really nice; they had to leave so quickly to get to the wine tasting that they didn’t even get dessert. 

He wasn’t acting like himself at all. Honestly, she felt like another day he might have still been able to sweet talk them into that first restaurant –though she was glad he hadn’t because she wasn’t really comfortable in a place like that anyway. It was bad enough being at the Italian restaurant where Jungkook insisted on paying and the waiter gave her a menu without prices so she didn’t even know how much damage she was doing to Jungkook’s bank account. He didn’t want to talk about any of the things they normally talked about. He didn’t respond to any of her jokes. 

She couldn’t figure it out. Did he just not want to be here? But that didn’t make sense, because if he didn’t want to be here, he wouldn’t be! Jungkook had no problem peacing out of a situation he didn’t want to be in. He’d bailed on her plenty of times, that wasn’t hard for him.

They rushed across town to get to Hollyoak Vineyards for this wine tasting Jungkook had booked them for –and she was confused, because they couldn’t do a vineyard tour in the cold and dark or anything– and made it just in the nick of time. He kept saying over and over that it was fine if they missed it, which seemed to mean it wasn’t fine. 

And then, checking in, winded by the sprint from the car, Alex made a terrible discovery: she had left her wallet and ID at the Italian restaurant. Which might have been fine if Jungkook wasn’t with her, because often she didn’t get carded on her own. But Jungkook made her look younger with that charming babyface of his. The woman asked to see their IDs before they could join the tour and tasting.

“I left it at the restaurant,” she admitted quietly, turning to Jungkook.

For a moment he just looked at her.

“You don’t have your ID?”

“It’s at the restaurant.”

“Uh…”

He froze. He looked between her and the employee and Alex knew that look: somebody fix this for me because I don’t know what to do now. Usually she didn’t see that look unless he was drunk or in emotional crisis. Neither was true now, except that he still wasn’t saying anything.

“Is there another tasting tonight?” Alex asked the employee.

“No, I’m sorry. I can reschedule you for another day?”

“Could he start the tasting now and I’ll go and come back–”

“No, you’ll miss the whole thing,” Jungkook said, reanimated. He pulled his ID off the counter and tucked it back into his wallet. “Ok, we’ll go. Thanks anyway.”

“I’m sorry, I guess it fell out of my purse under the table,” she explained as they left the place. He didn’t say anything. She couldn’t tell if he was pissed or disappointed, but she felt bad either way. “I’m really sorry, Jungkook.”

“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter,” he sighed. “Uh…” They reached the car and he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. She didn’t know what he was thinking about or if he was just trying to control his emotions or what. “You want me just to take you home? This is all kind of a bust, huh?”

“Wha? No, don’t take me home yet!”

“You sure? ‘Cause this a pretty fail date so–”

“Oh my god are you serious right now?” she laughed. “It’s fine! Things go wrong sometimes, it’s not that serious. Can’t we just find something else to do?”

He let out a deep, heavy sigh.

“Hey look, I’m sorry I fucked up the wine tasting. We can just do that on another date, I’ll book it.”

“Yeah but…”

“Let’s just go to minigolf or something–”

“I’m not taking you to minigolf,” he huffed, and crossed his arms and leaned against the car, and rolled his eyes.

And frankly, Alex had had enough.

“Why the fuck not? What’s wrong with minigolf? What’s wrong with Taco Bell? I don’t want to be a bitch because I know you put all this effort into planning all of these things but why are you acting like we’re suddenly too good to– ok, we tried this fancy stuff and things went wrong so let’s just do something else! It doesn’t have to be a big deal!”

“It does have to be a big deal, Alex! It’s our first fucking date!”

“So?!” she shouted, throwing her arms up.

“What do you mean ‘so’?! It’s our first date! The first date we ever go on!” he shouted back.

“Yeah I know that! But it doesn’t have to be like some big…” She couldn’t think of the right words. Her shouting fizzled a bit as she thought through what he’d just said, and how actually very sweet that was.

“I wanted it to be big,” he insisted. “Hoseok always took you on these big fancy dates, right? Yeah, I can do that too!”

“Oh, Jungkook,” she sighed. And walked around and grabbed his coat and headbutted his chest and let her head rest there. “You dummy.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about what Hoseok did. Who cares?”

“You cared.”

“Past tense,” she pointed out, craning her neck to look up at him from so close. “Now I’m out on a date with you. I don’t have this like high expectation of–”

“Of a good date? You should. That’s shitty, I don’t–”

“We can do anything and it’s a good date. I just wanted to spend time with you. We already know all kinds of things we like doing together.”

“Yeah but this isn’t just hanging out, Alex. It’s a date date. I wanted it to be special.”

“It is special, you idiot.” She hit him on the arm several times to try and make him smile. “It’s us. Obviously it’s special.”

“No, we’ve always been just friends. This needs to be big so you know it’s different–”

“Do you think I’m a stupid little baby? Is that why you were telling me about baby brains? I know this is different! You brought me flowers and looked all nervous and awkward on my couch!” It was more fun to tease him than admit her own nerves as she’d dressed and redressed and then redressed again. But the excitement for her had been a thousand times louder than the nerves. Nervous-excited, not nervous-afraid.

He sounded nervous-afraid.

“Yeah but–”

“I put on sexy underwear and eyeliner! The pointy way you said looks good!”

“I know that– I mean not about the underwear but–”

“So why are you being so weird about our date? There’s no point if you don’t actually enjoy spending time with me.”

“What are you talking about?” he demanded, eyebrows furrowing into the little V she had predicted. “Of course I like spending time with you.”

“Yeah? What do you like doing with me?”

“I don’t know, just… stuff. Like… but it’s just been friend stuff before–”

“I’m no expert, but I think dating is kind of just doing the same things we always did except we say it’s a date now,” she pointed out. “You don’t think so? Or are you worried you don’t actually like me or something?”

“I like you, Alex, that’s why I’m nervous. Pretty sure I used a word stronger than ‘like’ before too.”

She let that sit for a moment. Hearing Jungkook admit he was nervous was a completely different lens to look at the whole evening. Hearing Jungkook reiterate that he liked her was like, nauseatingly unbelievable. 

Ok, now she was having a harder time not being nervous-afraid because yeah, this was pretty crazy, being on a date date with Jungkook that he was taking so seriously because he liked her and she liked him too. Oh god.

“Are you… are you just cranky because you’re worried about having a bad first date?” she fumbled out.

“Yeah! Obviously! Jesus, it’s like you– are you fucking with me right now?!”

“Oh my god, you are so high strung right now,” she sighed and pulled on his jacket. “Jungkook! Chill! Are you serious?”

“I just…”

“Baby,” she said, and reached up to grab his face in a burst of confidence fueled by all of his nonsense. “Baby Koo.”

“Shut up,” he grumbled.

“No, don’t be grumpy. Look at me.” He begrudgingly did so; he didn’t have much of a choice with her holding his head. “Thank you for a wonderful dinner and for scheduling the wine tasting I fucked up. This whole evening is really special to me. The fact you worked so hard to make it special makes me feel really special. I don’t want to say goodnight yet, so I’d really like ice cream and minigolf with you.”

“Why are you so obsessed with minigolf?” he mumbled.

“I don’t know, I just think it’s a cute date idea and I like doing dumb things like that with you,” she shrugged, letting her hands fall away. He caught hold of them though and held. His fingers were cold. “I’m still allowed to like it, even when it’s a date date.”

“Yeah, well…” His mouth twisted in thought, so cute. “My original plan was to do minigolf,” he confessed. “And the taco truck. But then everyone acted like that was really lame and low effort so I wanted to do something bigger so you would know–”

“Fuck that!” Alex cried. “And fuck them! I like minigolf and tacos!”

“I know you like that but I wanted to like… I want you to be all giddy and stuff, you know? No one gets giddy over minigolf.”

“They do when they win,” she beamed. “You wouldn’t know about that. Since you never win.” 

His eyes narrowed. “Uh, pretty sure I always beat your ass. I can’t let you win, just because it’s a date.”

“Who said anything about let?”

“Ugggh but see? I can’t beat your ass, that’ll be a bad date.”

“Then let me win.”

“You’d hate me forever.”

“I wouldn’t hate you! I’d just be shocked you were down that bad for me– I don’t think your ego could let someone–”

“Hey, I let girls win that shit all the time,” he interrupted. “I don’t let you win because I respect you so much.”

“Yeah or because you aren’t trying to get into my pants.”

“No, but I do want into your pants now.”

“Well… sounds like you know what to do then…” She grinned and wiggled her eyebrows and felt full body relief. Everything made so much more sense now. She should have figured it out sooner that Jungkook was just nervous and frustrated that things weren’t going to his plan when he was trying so hard! But how could she have guessed he was this worked up about impressing her? It was just her!

“Alex,” he whined her name. She started to walk around the car but he was still holding her wrist and pulled her back. “We can’t play minigolf. Forty years from now we’ll be talking about our first date and I’m going to say I took you to play fucking minigolf?”

Damn. Damn that sounded serious. 

“Um, well,” she stammered, distracted at the casual way in which he’d basically just been like yeah we’re going to be together forever. “Well first you’ll probably tease me about forgetting my wallet and then you’ll probably tease me about being easy or childish because I wanted to play minigolf.”

“Ah, that’s true… you asked for it. I’m just giving you what you wanted.” His voice lowered as he said it, as he pulled her closer, no secret about the innuendo.

“Giving me what I want is always the right move,” she agreed, and lifted her face so he wouldn’t have to crouch too far for the kiss she thought he was leading into. There was only a moment of hesitation during which she worried she’d read him wrong. Maybe this just wasn’t normal yet, but they wanted it. He smiled into the kiss, giving too much teeth against hers, but she tilted her face and the kiss softened and Alex forgot to breathe. You know, just Jungkook, kissing her in the parking lot, nose pressed against hers, warm breath and saliva mingling with hers.

She overbalanced on her toes and they fell back against his car but he caught his own weight and towered over her. 

“Maybe you should go back to being pissy and mean,” she breathed.

“Huh?”

“You’re making me dizzy,” she admitted with a laugh. “I know we kissed the other night but–” 

Jungkook cut her off with another kiss that made her toes curl and her heart stutter.

“Yeah?” he murmured, sounding a bit breathless himself as his nose gently nudged hers. “Am I giving you butterflies kissing you in the parking lot of the wine tasting we didn’t get to do?”

“Yeah.”

He sighed, wine-scented breath warm across her face. “Can you please be a little more high maintenance? I’m giving you permission to be demanding!”

“Oh, I will be, without your permission,” she assured him with a cheeky grin. “You seem to be forgetting– well, I won’t remind you. You just keep those rose-tinted glasses on for a while. At least until I make you cry at minigolf.”

“Ok, are you just forgetting that you’re really bad at minigolf? Because I have not forgotten it–”

“That’s not true! I’ve won before!”

“Yeah, by sabotaging me,” he pointed out.

“Mm-hm and now I can sabotage you even more, right? Like… oops I dropped my ball!” she joked and slid from his arms to bend over and pick it up. So he had a nice profile of just how high her skirt would go. She was wearing tights, it wasn’t going to show anything but look, she’d learned a few things over the years about what Jungkook liked. He liked the tease. The suggestion. Maybe he liked it more than the real thing. 

She hoped he didn’t like the idea of her more than the real thing.

Also he really liked ass, so at least that was a safe bet.

He grumbled and demanded, “How many dates do we have to go on before I’m allowed to spank when you do something like that?”

Oh god be cool she begged herself because, you know, Jungkook had basically just asked to spank her. Jungkook. Spanking her. Just… spanking her. Cool. Cool cool.

“Um… three.”

He looked unhappy about it but nodded, “Ok. So you’re just going to tease me a lot tonight then?”

“Yeah, probably. But if you cry when you lose, I’ll comfort you. I’m not totally mean.”

“Yeah, I’ll give you a hug when you lose,” he promised. “I’m a caring date.”

“You’re a nice guy.”

“Yeah, I’m a nice guy,” he laughed, then tried to tickle and poke her through her coat. “I am. Sorry if I was weird or whatever tonight.”

“Hey, why are you talking like the night is over? You are still on a date,” she argued. 

“Right right, I have to make your dreams come true. Minigolf and ice cream.”

“And you,” she added, sort of without meaning to. At least the vulnerability of it hit her after she’d said the words. She just had meant to specify he was an important part of why she would like those things on a date!

But the thing was, she didn’t really feel vulnerable tonight in a bad way. She didn’t feel as nervous or impostery as she had feared. This was Jungkook! She didn’t think there was anyone in the world she was safer with and all his efforts and overthinking seemed to prove that. He’d taken on all the nerves for her. What a great guy.

He smiled, that goofy crooked toothy grin of her best friend, and said, “Well call me a dreamboy, baby, because I’m about to make all your dreams come true–”

“Ok you did not get laid with lines like that,” Alex said with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, sure I did!”

“No.”

“I did! Are you saying that did not make you cream your panties? What kind of panties did you say again–”

“Oh my god, just get in the car.”

“Fine, what date can I ask about your panties? Because I thought that one was ok since we talked about it the other night.”

“My panties?”

“Yeah.”

“You mean because you’ve been hoarding my underwear at your–”

“Woah woah I did not– I told you they were just mixed in with–”

“They?! How many of my underwear do you have?!”

“Get in the car, Song.”

She giggled and continued to taunt him as the car heated up and he looked up places. There was an indoor one at the mall they were familiar with but Alex wanted the outside one which was still open through the end of the month and served ice cream.

“You sure you’re ok with outside?”

“I’ll be fine! I have a coat and sweater tights.”

“Oh is that why they look fancy?”

“Yeah, they’re textured. Want to feel them?” she teased as he drove. But he took the advantage, letting his hand slide across her thigh. She got very quiet. His hand just looked so familiar and comfortable there, like that was his thigh. 

“Yeah, I like these,” he nodded. “Your whole outfit.”

She waited, then sighed, “You noticed I couldn’t get my eyeliner straight, didn’t you?”

“Well, that’s why you have me now,” he laughed. “I can help next time.”

“Look you weren’t the only one nervous, ok?”

“Yeah? What were you nervous about, baby?” he asked, still rubbing her thigh. He might as well have been rubbing somewhere else with that firm grip. The devil part of her wanted to just ask him to let his hand run higher, maybe a sequel to the other night…

“Yeah don’t act all cocky now. I know your secret!” she retorted and adjusted her skirt.

“What’s my secret?”

“You like me.”

“You’re right, that is a very well kept secret,” he laughed. “Please don’t spread that around. There might still be a couple people in town I didn’t drunkenly blab that to in the last few months.”

She sighed happily at his expense. Maybe the craziest thing wasn’t being on a date with ex-best-turned-best-friend-again Jungkook. Maybe the craziest thing was that being on an actual date with him didn’t feel as crazy as she’d always expected it to. Would that come later? She hadn’t felt mismatched on his arm walking into either restaurant like she’d expected to. Yes, he was the hottest guy in any room. And he wanted to put his face between her legs, so what did that make her?

Ok, that part was still a little wild and crazy. Not only that he’d wanted to but she’d let him. Maybe she’d even let him do it for real next time.

“You ok?”

“Hm?”

“Is it too hot in here now?” he asked.

“Yeah, way too hot,” she agreed, reaching forward to crank the heat down. Jungkook cracked the windows. She drank the cool air in and pushed back against the warm tingling starting to build up. 

“So what did your parents say when you told them I was picking you up for a date tonight?” he asked, throat clearing. It made her suspicious in two directions.

“Why, what did they say to you?” she asked, the safer question than: why you clearing your throat, boo? Whatcha thinking about? 

“Nothing, they were just acting kind of weird…”

“I told them we were going on a date date and they were just like ‘oh really? That’s nice.’ I don’t think they believed me!”

“Well I was dressed up with flowers.”

“Plus you were acting super weird too,” Alex pointed out.

“Thanks, babe.”

His hand left her thigh as he took a sharp turn and Alex wished he’d read her mind and put it back, but he did not.

“Let’s get your wallet, dummy.”

Fifteen minutes and one returned wallet later, he pulled into the minigolf parking lot and pressed, “You sure you want to do this?”

“Why? You scared?”

“No, I meant because it’s cold–”

“You’re scared.”

“I’m not scared, Alex. You golf like a toddler.”

“It’s minigolf, that’s the point!”

“That’s not the… whatever, ice cream before or after?”

“During. I’m ready to doublefist a cone and a club.”

It really was fucking cold outside, but the course was lit and they weren’t the only ones. The snack bar served them the ice cream, the employee giving them a raised eyebrow but handing the cones over. Jungkook hit his first ball straight into a pond and Alex got a scathing look from a mom when she shouted what are you the fucking hulk? It’s minigolf! While he shouted accusations at her That was your fault! Why are you bending over like that to tie your shoe? Your boots don’t even have laces! 

The truth was they were both pretty bad at minigolf tonight. Their teeth chattered and they huddled together from one hole to the next. They fucked with each other every single turn –dirty jokes, terrible impersonations, quoting memes and movies they knew would get a rise out of each other. Jungkook tried the same move she’d done in the beginning, even pulling his coat up to make sure she could see his ass, sulked when it didn’t work, and pretended like he was going to do a full on striptease –which would definitely have led to Alex’s premature death. Later she offered to suck his fingers to warm them up and he fell to the ground claiming he’d sprained his dick. 

And then it started to rain.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Jungkook shouted as Alex grabbed his hand and ran with him into the mountain tunnel in the center of the course. “It wasn’t supposed to rain until 9!”

“The weather does what it wants.”

“Yeah but it’s fucking with my date. You don’t like getting rained on! Unless today is the day we try the naked thing–”

She laughed and pulled him down closer to kiss his wet face. His skin was so cold. Their lips and noses were stiff. The sweetness of his mint choco ice cream lingered on his tongue. Alex stood on the railing for height and lost herself in the taste. She thought she’d be taking this dumb fantasy to her grave and yet here they were, making out in the minigolf mountain like the horny teenages they hadn’t gotten to be with each other. 

After several long, lazy, uncounted minutes had passed, they huddled together at the exit to survey the remaining distance. The rain was not letting up.

“Did you make it rain?” he demanded. “You’re that upset I’m beating you?”

“Uh… you aren’t beating me.”

“Alex, I’m totally beating you.”

“You totally aren’t.”

“Then what’s the score?”

“I don’t know but you don’t know either!”

“7-11.”

“You liar!” she laughed and tried to hit his ass. “Fine, we’ll count for real now.”

“Wait, what for real now? It’s raining!”

“It’s not raining that hard.”

“It’s hard enough!” he cried, then instantly laughed and wiggled his eyebrows, then groaned, “But I’m not, I’m freezing!”

“All right, let’s golf fast! Orrrr you could admit defeat.”

“Never,” he glared and grabbed his putter and took off.

The cheating was flagrant and largely futile. Putters were traded for kicking, rolling, and eventually just dropping the ball in the hole. They shouted numbers to make each other lose count. They were laughing so hard, doubled over at times as the rain grew heavier and colder. She really did hate the way her clothes and hair clung to her wet skin, but it was worth it to endure. This was a special night.

“We’re idiots!” Alex laughed, then shrieked as she slipped on a little bridge. Jungkook dove forward and rammed his elbow on the metal railing, didn’t help her, and sank to the ground like he’d been knocked out. “Get up! Get up! You’ll get hypothermia!”

Instead he took her putter and shouted, “Good luck winning now!” and limped forward, clutching his elbow. Alex ran ahead of him and managed to shove her ball into the final return hole just as he tried to kick his in. Instead he kicked her in the shoulder and shouted in horror. She tried to stand, he tried to crouch.

“Fuck!”

“Up up we have to get back to the car, we’re going to freeze to death!” Jungkook shouted at her, grabbing her arm. They half-limped, half-ran back to the parking lot, tossing their putters in the return rack without stopping.

“We’re such idiots, we’re going to get sick and die,” Alex wailed as they stripped their wet coats off and shoved them in the backseat. Jungkook cranked the heat up. “Fuck, I hate my bangs!” she laughed, swiping at the hair plastered to her face, poking her in the eyes. “At least I wore my contacts.”

Jungkook’s hands replaced hers, pushing them back, followed by his cold lips against her forehead, her nose and then her mouth, all one smooth motion that completely overwhelmed her. Her fingers tightened on his shoulders in surprise as he grabbed her arms and pulled her closer, like the laughter and running and cheating had turned into raw energy that he now funneled into a hard, desperate kiss. The joy in that kiss made the world spin around her. The windows were fogging up and she felt that desperation again. Touch me, taste me, take me, do anything to me, let me be the girl you want.

“Alex.”

“Koo.”

His breath warmed her frozen nose and stung her frozen cheeks. 

“Was this the worst date ever?”

She glared. “No! It was good because it was with me, right?”

“We’re both going to get the flu.”

“Stop complaining and just kiss me again,” she ordered, pulling him across the console this time. He pressed her into the seat, contorted, mouth getting hotter against hers by the second. 

“God I can’t believe this was the best date of my life,” he completely contradicted himself.

The giggles burst out of her, “Damn. Really? That’s sad–”

He shoved icy fingers under her sweater to tickle and she screamed and kicked the dashboard in her attempts to flee. He just wrapped his arms around her and pressed his frozen nose into her neck, squeezing tighter.

“You asshole, let me go!”

“Never.”

“Jungkook!”

“You said you wanted outdoor minigolf, you suffer the consequences! I’m warming my nose up.”

“I’m so uncomfortably wet!”

“Yeah baby–”

“No, in a bad way!”

“Love leaving a girl wet in a bad way on our first date–” She couldn’t hear what else he said, drowned out by her laughter. Someone was going to think they were fucking in here with the way windows had fogged up so quickly and they were shaking the car. She pushed him away and adjusted the heat and wiped at the condensation on her window. Now it was uncomfortably hot, and also her clothing really felt disgusting like this. The fluffy sweater was scratchy and gross. She pulled it away from her skin but it just clung right back.

Jungkook shook his head.

“What?”

“I tried so hard to make this date nice,” he laughed.

“Oh my god you’re so hung up on this. I’m having a great time!”

But perfectionist Jungkook. She should have known he’d have some specific idea in mind! He struggled when things didn’t go the way he planned, if he wanted them a certain way. Usually he’d insist he didn’t care and overcompensate in his frustration, make too much of a joke about things in an effort to be cool that was always obvious and annoying. He hadn’t done that! But she knew frustration lingered with him and she didn’t want that to be what overshadowed their date!

“Seriously. Please don’t remember our first date as a failure. Ok, how about this, what if we decide this was just a trial run.”

“Uh huh.”

“Our next date is our first date,” she explained, twisting in the seat. It was gross, her tights and skirt squished. “We’ll just keep having first dates until you’re happy.”

“Wait, but I’m happy. Don’t make it sound like I’m not.”

“Uh, you aren’t though, you’re the only one in this car who’s unhappy.”

“I’m happy,” he insisted, eyebrows going up, lips pouting. “It’s just not as good as I wanted to do for you, but I’m happy. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m on a date with Alex Song!”

“Oh please…”

“I meant that seriously.”

“You said it like a joke.”

“I meant it seriously,” he insisted. “I want to impress you, you know? You’ve seen the worst of me for so long, I want you to see the best of me too. Like that I can take you on a really fun, nice date, not that I’m just some lazy, sex-obsessed asshole–.”

“I see the best of you all the time too, or I wouldn’t be on a date with you in the first place. I already know we can have a great time even when things go wrong. This date was genuinely great but even if it was actually awful, I’d still have fun with you, it’s one of the things I’ve always… liked about you.” Loved about you.

She didn’t say it.

She balked.

She didn’t know why she didn’t say it. She had expected the words to just roll right off her tongue. Because she did, she knew she loved him, and not too long ago she could have said it without any hesitation.

But it meant something more now, and the words tangled up behind her cold teeth.

She hurried to add, “I know that you can be both a really sweet, thoughtful guy and a lazy, sex-obsessed–”

“Ok ok,” he huffed, pouting he’d set her up for a zinger like that. He turned on the headlights and sighed. “I’d better get you home so you can put on your jammies. I’ll feel like an asshole if I really do get you sick right before Christmas.”

“I’m the one who insisted on minigolf.”

“Ok, it’s your fault then.”

“Jungkook!”

“Hey don’t hit me, I’m driving! That’s just what we need tonight, a car wreck!”

“Fine, you’re safe for now…”

She curled up in her seat and tried not to make it obvious she was staring at him. The streetlights flickering through the rain on the windshield cast spotted shadows on his wet face but she could tell his nose was still red and sniffly. 

He was cute. And sweet. It was endearing he’d been so serious and competitive about their date. She’d known him for so long but still she had learned something new about him tonight: he was not confident on a date. She had always known he had a gooey soft interior but he was so suave with women, she had assumed he would be all confidence and charm on a date. Instead he was a grumpy sulky baby when things weren’t going the way he planned. 

Her grumpy sulky baby. Just like she’d always wanted. Hot as shit on the outside, sulky baby on the inside.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, glancing nervously her way at a red light.

“Nothing.”

“Tell me.”

“Nothing!”

He reached out and sank his fingers into her thigh like a claw.

“NO! Don’t tickle me, you’re driving!” she shrieked and tried to fend him off. Fortunately the light turned green, saving her. “Rude!”

“I just want to know what you're thinking. I’m on pins and needles here.”

She decided to tease him more. “Well… I’m thinking I’d like to see you again.”

“Oh? Yeah?”

“Yeah. Maybe at our joint family dinner on Christmas Eve?”

“Booo,” he scowled. “Before that. That’s not a date, that’s a duty.”

“You want another date before that?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, I’m a really good date, huh?” she grinned.

“Yeah, you’re cute.”

“I was joking!”

“I’m not.”

“Fine. How about I’ll plan the next date. When are you free, is it on the calendar?”

“Yeah, it’s on the calendar. Any time I’m not working is yours.”

She didn’t comment. She couldn’t comment on any of these things. Because this was just mundane, joky conversation, but the fact they casually making more plans together hit her like a bus. Part of her brain was like yeah, making plans with Jungkook, totally normal while the other part reminded you’re dating Jungkook. 

He pulled to a stop in front of her house and started to get out.

“No don’t walk me to the door, it’s still pouring.”

“Yeah, but–”

“No, seriously. My parents might be watching the door anyway.”

“Yeah but…”

“Hey,” she said. “Save it for the first date. I’ll walk you to your front door at the end of the night.”

“Oh you’re driving?”

“Yeah, babygirl, we are equals,” she grinned.

“Did you just… just ‘babygirl’ me?”

“Yesssss,” she started to laugh before his fingers even tried to wedge under her shirt again. He kissed her before she caught her breath; she laughed and squirmed and it made their lips slide, the messiest kiss. 

“K, get out of my car, I need to get home and shower before I get sick,” he said.

“Hold on, Jesus, I’m dizzy.”

“Huh?”

“You can’t just kiss a girl like that and then kick her out of your car, I’ll trip and die–”

“Ok, I’m walking you in.”

“No, stay put.”

“You said you’re dizzy!”

She squeezed his face so full of concern, and shook her head, “Goodnight. Thanks for the amazing date, I had a lot of fun despite your whining about it.”

“Hey!”

His shouted protests were swallowed quickly by the rain as she held her coat over her head and ran into her house. She was right that Baba had been watching the door and swung it open to let her in quickly.

“Alex, you’re wet! Did you get caught in the rain?”

“Thanks, Baba, goodnight!” Alex sang as she yanked her boots off, tossed her coat, and floated to her room. 

There in the privacy of her bedroom, she covered her face and let out a silent scream.

He tried so hard!

He cared so much!

He was so handsome!

He was so awkward about their date and god, she loved him for it. Didn’t he understand how perfect it was? It was exactly what she had hoped for. The effort. The attention. All for her. 

She looked forward to teasing him about it for forty years. 

Especially the photo he posted to his Snap and Insta story of him with a towel around his shoulders, shirt clinging to his body, hair damp and tousled, giving a thumbs-up with the caption yeah everything went wrong but I got a second date so… Followed by a text only post on insta lol she ain’t on here fam she deleted insta a while ago

So he wasn’t talking about their date on insta as some kind of game or lure or to signal to her that he wasn’t still trying to hook up with women? He did it just to… share? Brag? Signal to women on instagram he wasn’t looking? Was he just excited about his date and used to sharing things on social media and didn’t think through the impact on his free sex life because that wasn’t a priority to him?

“Grrrr why are you so fucking cute,” she grumbled. “I’m supposed to be the cute one. Stay in your hot lane. ”

She DMed him a kissy face emoji in response to the story to give him a heart attack and went to shower. And afterwards had a good laugh when the stories and the pre-date photo were gone.

[AlandPals]: 😘

[TheJK.97]: 😎

[AlandPals]: take off the sunglasses

[TheJK.97]:  😵🪦

[TheJK.97]:  so uh when did you dl insta?

[AlandPals]: night bunny

[TheJK.97]:  that is NOT my petname

[TheJK.97]:  night earwig

[AlandPals]: night weevil

[TheJK.97]:  night shrimp cocktail

[AlandPals]: night nutter butter

[TheJK.97]:  night cheeto finger

[AlandPals]: night kookie crisp

[TheJK.97]:  night booberry

[TheJK.97]:  night pistachio

[TheJK.97]: night titmouse (that’s a bird look it up)

[TheJK.97]: did you fall asleep on me??

[TheJK.97]: I win 😁

Alex let him have this one. He’d earned it.

KEEP READING PARTY B

[derangedanomaly]

Here we go again lol

(Couldn't find the link sryy)

21. "Mh, I don't rly like my hands I think?"

22. "Probably like- stamina and intelligence?"

23. "Well.. I do it myself? I think I would understand, but it depends on the lie honestly"

24. "I like the cold^^"

25. "... I don't like saying it honestly, but I like hearing it, and not saying it back is sooo rudeeee"

26. "... I hate doing it"

27. Just laughing

28. "... Yeah.. "

29. "Pretty high"

30. "Many things! I don't think I should name them tho, idk who's listening after all"

31. "Who the hell needs food anyways" <- isn't a messy eater tho

32. "Mh...I can tell you which one made me feel the most loved? ^^"

33. "Ohhh:D called it, every moment with Ace tbh lol"

34. "Touch. Because I like hugs, and when killing I like to feel the blood and organs"

35. "Mh, depends"

36. "Mh, if I won't get killed, I'd ask Nm abt passive,it's rly interesting to me, and I like Nm! ^^ and I like passive, well- the one I know abt at least"

37. ".... I would say the past, but I would change so much and wouldn't meet Ace.. So the future! ^^"

38. "..my parents, toriel and asgore? Prob also Chara and asri-.. Flowey."

39. ".. I'm used to being alone.. So alone I'd say"

40. "I'm afraid of many things honestly, like monsters, I also hate it when ppl are taller then me cuz it makes me feel vulnerable.. But rly fear?.. Uhm.. I always start panicking when chaos gets mad or sad in anyway... hes.. pretty unreadable in those moments.."

21. "I'm not very fond of my face...it brings back bad memories......"

22. "Probably strength and intelligence. I mean- I have a fucking PHD."

23. "..... Next question."

24. "I like the cold weather, for... obvious reasons.."

25. "Telling someone you adore that you love them is not hard.. I like saying it only to Kris. Everyone else can honestly just fuck off-"

26. "I do not try and search for help. It's too late for me to be honest. What else is there for someone that lost it all?"

"HEY! THAT'S MY FUCKING LINE-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ZEST FEST-"

Seems like we have a small disturbance! Apologies.

27. "....... You're kidding. Right?" Of course he did lol.

28. "..I don't know. No one ever tried tickling me before. I mean... When you're in Nightmares realm, not many people go up to you and tickle you. Actually- let me rephrase that! No one ever comes up to me and tries to tickle me."

29. "I killed hundred upon hundred monsters, and humans. You really think that my pain tolerance would be low? Tch. Of course it's HIGH."

30. "Oh... I'd tell you.. but do you really think I would trust you enough to tell you?"

31. "The only messy eaters are Ted and Blade, not me."

32. "...." He's dead quiet...

33. ".....////" He's refusing to answer and avoids eye contact...

34. "Probably vision or hearing... I tend to rely on those senses the most.. heh.. why? Well wouldn't you like to know..."

35. "I don't try and make small talk. Why talk at all if you have nothing intelligent to say?"

36. "The only only that would be brutally honest is probably Nightmare... I mean- don't get me wrong! Chaos and Ted are honestly pretty blunt too. But they both sugar coat it... Uh... I don't know what I'd ask him though... Probably why he's so cruel. But he'd most likely avoid to answer this question."

37. "Realistically? The past.... Honestly? Future, so I could be finally dead-"

38. "Oh...well.... Probably the twins- I mean... Nightmare and Chaos.. but both had different effects. I like Chaos more.. I- have to admit that I'm a bit of a fan of his- Don't Tell him that though."

39. "I'd rather be alone... But I'm tied for life to the king.. Nightmare. So... I don't really have a choice. Do I?"

40. ".... Nightmare... But- I honestly fear Chaos more than Nightmare- for some unknown reason... Like- yeah, Chaos isn't the one pulling the strings! But I feel as though Chaos has a... Problem with his emotions at times..? May be because he's a clone, and doesn't really know about emotions.. I spend a week trying to decipher what exactly is going on with him, but I just- can't figure it out.."

[we-will-be-reun1ted]

─── ⋆⋅Body⋅⋆ ───

Okay so first straight off the bat, the twins are not human. That’s canon and that’s been established. So in my eyes, that means they aren’t going to have the same kind of bodies.

I’m not going to go into their appearances in this post as that’s a completely different thing. I may draw them but I’m not getting my hopes up.

Anywho bodies! So. The twins have very specific functions to do with their bodies to make it easier for them to travel around space from universe to universe. Starting of with this - they do not have stomachs.

I imagine that since they are travelling around space a lot when they aren’t in a world, they don’t really have much to eat up there. So the food that they do eat when they are in a world actually gets absorbed into their bodies and converted into energy rather than just being digested. This means that they don’t need the bathroom, don’t gain or lose weight or anything like that.

When travelling space they can’t really take food since on average the food will probably disintegrate into a dust and undergo chemical changes in the vacuum. So, to be able to have the energy to travel for a long time, they have to eat a lot of food before leaving. Like tons. The amount that would make even Paimon nervous.

The both feel pretty sick afterwards but it works!

Another thing kinda cool about their bodies is that the twins are able to change certain aspects about their body.

An example of this is that they could technically change their physical genders if they really want to.

I imagine both of them are comfortable in their genders (Lumine a girl, Aether a guy) but they weren’t really born as such. These two were created from an explosion and a lot of things happening at the same time which just so correlated to them being made. They were both kind of one being that split into two. Basically, shooting stars in the vessel as humans.

Neither were raised on a gender or had any concept of that until they started travelling to other worlds, which is when they technically ‘chose’ what to be.

This can be physically changed. It would take a lot of their energy but if they had the will and want, they could do it.

This doesn’t really happen though as it takes way too much of their energy and they are both happy as they are.

This is kind of relating to the last one about being able to change things about their body

This is a bit of an odd one so bare with me. Kinda inappropriate but in the biology class inappropriate way.

Right, they have stuff like sperm, egg, normal stuff like that though like ✨yassified✨cause these mfs ain’t human. Maybe Aethers cum is glittery or something I don’t fucking know.

Whatever so the cool thing about them is they are able to literally turn their fertility on and off like a switch. Neither want kids. They are planning on travelling forever why would either want to settle down and start a family with someone they meet in one of the worlds. I’m gonna use Lumine as an example of this in the least graphic terms possible.

So as I’ve said, Lumines a sexual being. Nothing wrong with that. When she has sex, she doesn’t have to use any form of protection as she can just turn her fertility off pretty much. If she ever wanted a child she could pretty much just turn her eggs or whatever back on and then bam. It does take a few days for her body to adjust so she would have to do it a few days prior. This is the same for Aether.

This one’s just weird to be honest. I say as if the last three haven’t been just as weird.

The two are able to grown back their limbs like lizards can crow back their tails.

I don’t say that lightly. They can’t just go “oh haha I’m gonna cut off my arm and throw it at someone for a funny prank XD” and then immediately grow it back. No it’s an extremely long and painful process. Firstly, losing the limb would be just as painful as it would be for the normal person. Maybe slightly less as they both have incredibly high pain tolerances, but certainly not ideal. To make matters worse, the growing part would be even more painful and cost them a LOT of energy.

It would take a long ass time. It’s not just gonna grow back overnight. And even after it’s back they are going to struggle to move it or do anything with it for a while afterwards so it will just be limp next to them for a while. They will basically have to relearn movements in that limb.

Say for example, Aethers right leg is cut off, poor guy. Once it grows back, if he had any scars or tattoos or anything on it previously it would no longer be there. It will be completely plain. A normal leg.

A rule for this is the brain must still be fully functioning with the rest of the body for this to work. You can’t just cut off one of their heads and expect the body to start growing again. If you cut off the head, they die. Simple.

[youredreamingofroo]

- - oc deep dive questionnaire

a set of 20 questions to get to know your oc! thank you @elderwisp for the tag!! 🫶🫂 (THIS IS SO LATE BUT THANK YOU AGAIN)

Roo Norman

- under the cut -

what uncommon/common fear do they have?

[ I answered this here , but just to shoot em out: Driving (not being driven, but actually being behind the wheel), "apeirophobia"/"megalophobia" (excessive fear of infinity, eternity, and the uncountable / fear of large objects), being stared at (despite liking eye contact, we love an indecisive king)

do they have any pet peeves?

[ Motherfuckers who can't communicate LMFAO

what are 3 items you can find in their bedroom?

[ His phone, clutter (IKKK its not a single item but like in general he just has a LOT of clutter), and a photo of his dad

what do they notice first in a person?

[ Their hair,,, He just can't help it, he'll always notice their hair and usually compliment them, but if he doesn't FW their hair, he doesn't say anything LMAOO

from a scale of 1 to 10, how high is their pain tolerance?

[ 3-5, pussy shit

do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

[ ~ flight ~ He's kinda like a stray cat,,,

do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

[ Roo technically comes from a big family (4 siblings, and 2 step-fathers) but didn't grow up in a big family, and I would not consider Roo a family person LMAO everyone in his family was pretty distant when he was growing up so :/

what animal represents them best?

[ idk why but Giraffe, like that just came to mind while doing this, but usually I'd say something like a cat represents him best 🤷‍♂️

what is a smell that they dislike?

[ Lavender... (me and him 🤝 hating the fuck outta lavender cuz it gives us migraines)

have they broken any bones? if so, how?

[ Nopeeee, still broken-bone free

how would a stranger likely describe them?

[ "Eccentric..." LMAO no but fr, they'd probably say He's a little weird and looks pretty reserved, but is surprisingly open

what is a flavor they hate and a flavor they love?

[ He does NOT like Pistachio and he absolutely loves Mango

do they have any hobbies?

[ Nope 💀💀 His pastime is obsessing over Leo as of late

boom, surprise birthday party! how do they react to surprises?

[ His ass would (jokingly) walk out, come back and then cry

do they like to wear jewelry? if so, what is their favorite piece?

[ Roo loves wearing jewelry but his sensory issues say fuck that </3 He loves to wear rings tho (when his sensory issues let him)

do they have neat or messy handwriting?

[ messy 😭

what are two emotions they feel the most?

[ Nervousness and Confusion (just like me fr)

do they have a favorite fabric?

[ No? 😭 I don't even know what my fav fabric is... I guess he likes anything that isn't microfiber?

what kind of accent do they have?

[ This has been said soo many times, but he has an english (american) accent with a swedish sort of twang

- -

Not tagging anyone cuz I'm like... a week or two late... 😭 But if you'd like to do this, feel free to do it and tag me <:P