#Why does everything feel so unsatisfying?

[nebjamin]

Does anyone want to listen to me rant about Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney? Because I have some thoughts.

[cultofcipher]

Bill Cipher thoughts (BoB Spoilers Ahead)

I'm really sitting on how Bill's displayed so much of himself indirectly in the BoB. How during the Love section he denies having exes, marking them out. How said exes show up SEVERAL times scratched out or are regarded with this bitterness of someone who did NOT do the breaking up part. Bill got dumped. Every time. And is desperately trying to bury his feelings.

And that's something I think the Book of Bill really highlights in a way. The fact that Bill has feelings. That deep down he's a broken triangle. It's all over the book's writing. Him pointing out how to use denial and rationalization and other bad coping mechanisms to basically ignore and lie to himself (and show us how to do it) and basically convince himself that he is as heartless as he tries to be. Him avoiding his exes. The tone he uses and the avoidance really giving the "I don't handle breakups well and I'm still petty about it". Him constantly telling himself that he's fine. He's not fine. Him crying over Ford leaving and getting wasted. Him being bitter about the henchmaniacs not calling. His regret over what happened to his world. His loneliness. GOD his loneliness. His self-hatred. His scathing remark about definitely NOT having some tragic backstory that humanizes him and how he's not an "I can fix him case". Calling himself a monster. His longing for home. The "Last one breathing". The "I tried to change the past". The "my hands shaking, as I realized I could never undo the". The "until there was no one left but me, covered in blood, alone in the universe". The goddamn "I don't want to die alone" Valentine's card. The last few pages. Just, the last few pages. That isolation, his pained "I'M FINE". The almost sad plea for someone to let him out.

Bill cares. He's fucked up, unstable, violent. But he does care about people he gets along with and he feels understand him. For every "I'm just playing the bit" and using people with nice gestures, I think a fraction of that is somewhat genuine. And he hates it. He hates his own vulnerability. He hates his lack of apathy. He's denying himself his own emotions constantly under so many layers of distractions, eldritch horrors, and repression. He can't think about home, about failure, about how every relationship he's ever had, platonically or otherwise, ended. And it wasn't on his terms.

Him talking about/to his mom when he's drunk. How his mom called him Billy as a kid. How his home life sounded simple. How Bill as an individual is anything BUT simple. And how his drunken state holds such fondness for that simplicity, yet it was suffocating. How he would've broken free eventually, inevitably, because he knew that's who he was. It's his nature. He was destined for more.

How it cost him everything.

How he's constantly chasing insanity like it's a drug. Like he needs the power trip to stay high. To not think too hard. To drown out his emotions and his self-reflections and everything he hates about himself.

How in Gravity Falls he still tried to get Ford to side with him after everything, cause that was his vulnerability showing, for the slightest glimpse of a moment. Cause he doesn't want to do it alone. Him reaching out to the reader in his book, because he doesn't want to do it alone. Can't do it alone. Even when he eventually betrays that person, I think him offering Ford that cushy spot alongside his henchmaniacs makes me think that yeah, Bill actually would've upheld his end of the deal.

He thinks he wants multiversal domination. He thinks Weirdmageddon is his Magnum Oppus. His purpose. But he's so lost. If he ever does get what he wants, he won't know what to do with himself. He'll be faced with the "Now what?". He'll hit the end of the road and realize how unsatisfying it is. How this isn't what he wanted.

How lonely it is to be God.

I think the Axolotl sees that in Bill. It's why he doesn't try to destroy him or attack him or anything. He sees that inner self of Bill. Sees him for what he really is. Someone who needs a LOT of therapy, a true, honest to goodness friend or partner in his life, and maybe a more sustainable life purpose or hobby. He has so much potential and in a way his pursuit of power, rather than being an actualization of his abilities, is a waste of them, because it gets him nowhere.

And he needs help, even if he doesn't think he does. He's a depressed alcoholic frat boy trying to drown his misery in a way that hurts and kills worlds. He's a girlfailure, a bisexual/pansexual disaster (he's at LEAST canonically bisexual or at MOST canonically pan cause this guy has dated both ways).

Bill's book is so incredibly amazing for what it is. All the lies, all the unrealiable narrator parts of Bill's facades and flaws and him being himself and all of his genuine thoughts and feelings bleeding through the lines and showing themselves but only in a way that you can really understand if you understand him and can tell when he's lying and when he's not. To see the real parts of him, and everything else. This book was perfect, and it was perfectly imperfectly him. This truly is Bill's book. It's so him in such a raw and genuine yet dishonest way. I'm gonna cherish this damn book forever.

[wonryllis]

ᶻ��𝘇 𐰁 ! ENHYPEN REVEALING THEIR NON!IDOL S/O

╰ 𝖺𝗅𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝖽𝖾𝖼𝗅𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝗈𝗋𝗅𝖽.

𝒏o𝓉ℯs. idol!enhypen showing you. 𖥔 ݁ fluff LIB? fem!reader req 727wc.

𝗵𝗲𝗲𝘀𝗲𝘂𝗻𝗴 everyone knows okay everyone just does. it's in his eyes, it's in the way he speaks, it's in his body language, it's in the way he dresses, it's in the little advice and messages he leaves on weverse, it's in the pictures he posts. just everything exudes that he's a taken man desperately in love. his reveal is normal, an official announcement from the company the day after their contractual dating ban is over. appearing on a talk show after all excited to tell everyone about you to be hit by the realization that people actually did have idea just not that you are non celeb.

𝗷𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘀𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴 he does not give a fuck about anyone but you. would reveal it so nonchalantly like he's on a live and fans accidentally spot you moving around in the background and he's like,"oh yeah that's my girl, would y'all like to say hi?" he'd call you over and have you sit on his lap the entire time, though not showing your face he doesn't want your privacy getting taken away. you both would laugh and interact with the comments and answer fan questions like you've been public for years. talking about first impressions, who's more clingy, why you chose him yk.

𝗷𝗮𝗲𝘆𝘂𝗻 he's scared, not for himself but for you. baby doesn't want his baby getting those hates and threats. he takes a little safer side, writing a personal note addressing the love of his life and asking to be respected and given privacy. monitors the response and as soon as everyone seems accepting he's showing you off everywhere he can, from talking about you on lives and interviews and shows to posting little tmis on social media. fans even grow to tease him with your name challenging him to things he wouldn't otherwise do. cutesy and hot alike.

𝘀𝘂𝗻𝗴𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗻 he has no intentions of revealing it like until he has a baby with you or something. but poor guy is so bad at concealing his feelings like he's on a show to give advice on fans queries and there's this specific question about how do you know you love someone and hoon is just K.O. ed rambles on about how there's this internal feeling and you just know it when you look at them, they're the best in the entire world and everything. then later on panics when articles surface about it, "oh my god baby they know! they know!" and he ends up confirming the rumours.

𝘀𝘂𝗻𝘄𝗼𝗼 this guy can't wait to let the world know about you, his special person, his home. takes every chance he gets to reveal y'all but the manager jumps in every single time telling him it's not the 'right time' yet. he's so annoyed now, he's taking it the dispatch way. sneakily going places without cover, not necessarily to you and then when the articles are out jumping at the first opportunity to introduce his lovely partner through a message to his fans. talking about how long he's been waiting to let them know this important person and how much he loves you.

𝗷𝘂𝗻𝗴𝘄𝗼𝗻 my boy is soft launching it. he's posting these random ass pictures of succulents and cardigans and hairpins and lipgloss and everyone is so confused until he starts with pictures of hands that are too pretty to be his, skirts with thighs that couldn't be him and lastly a picture of him twirling around someone with the caption,"everyone meet my baby! :))" and after that he's making everyone sick with lovey dovey pictures of you everyday everywhere, twitter, instagram, weverse you name it, everywhere! fans be getting every little update of your love life.

𝗿𝗶𝗸𝗶 leaves little hints and tricks here and there to get the fans crazy with suspicions but at the same time not enough to expose y'all. plays at it for about a year before he gets impatient and unsatisfied with just little bits and pieces wants to upload full on vlogs about his days with you. wanting to post things like 'dance challenge with my beloved' literally has it on the tip of his mouth "i love my girlfriend," begs the company to let him reveal it and they're like we never stopped you?? so he does talking about it with fans- my girlfriend does that too! my girlfriend would love that!

taglist ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @jayujus @nanabbg @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly

[yeoobiii]

⋆｡°✩ 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙡 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚

꩜ boyfriend!jake x afab!reader

꩜ established relationship, slightly suggestive

꩜ you ask your boyfriend to come on a shopping spree with you which leaves you not only unsatisfied but also a bit insecure. That is until an idea stuck you to turn the tide around and make this a successful trip nonetheless

or: you go lingerie shopping with your whipped boyfriend Jake

wc: 3.4k

warnings: slight voyeurism (?), nicknames like love, baby and puppy

a/n: technically it's pretty much gender neutral, it's just reader is trying on bras that's why I tagged it afab!reader but otherwise it's gender neutral! I don't think there are any major warnings for this one, it's pretty harmless, just you and your boyfriend Jake who has a hard time resisting you in cute lingerie, enjoy!

You look at yourself in the mirror and sigh, exhausted from changing in and out of your clothes for what felt like the 20th time today.

“Does it fit? How does it look?” You hear a familiar voice from the other side of the curtain call out to you.

You feel frustrated and frankly also a bit bad. All day you’ve been dragging your boyfriend around the city to look for cute new summer clothes and so far all you ended up with was a basic white crop top and a flowery skirt that you already regretted buying.

Your boyfriend keeps assuring you that he doesn’t mind hopping from one store to the next, taking small coffee or ice cream breaks in between. Also he himself seems to have been more successful in the search for some new pieces than yourself, seeing how the bags he insists on carrying around mainly contain things he has gotten for himself.

“I don’t know. It’s not really what I was looking for.” you almost whine, your patience running out, as you draw back the curtains to show your outfit to Jake.

His eyes roam your body up and down for probably the dozenth time today, taking in how the clothes look on you.

“Oh, babe.” He gets up from the makeshift changing room chair he’s been sitting on, stepping closer to you until he gently places his hands on your waist,

“What do you not like about it?” He inquires in an understanding, patient way.

You immediately welcome the comfort your boyfriend offers you, the skinship making your shoulders relax and lean your forehead against his shoulder defeatedly.

“It’s– I don’t know, it feels off. I don’t feel like myself in it.” You mumble into his shirt, “Maybe I’m the problem, like it seems like I’m not in the best headspace to do this today. I’m sorry I’ve been dragging you around the city all day for nothing.” You look back at him apologetically, a small pout on your lips and are greeted with the softest smile, his eyes kind and understanding.

“What are you apologizing for? I had a great day! We had a nice lunch, I got to see you in a bunch of cute clothes, I found some nice things for myself and we got bubble tea as well. Sounds like a successful day to me.”

As he’s reassuring you, he gently squeezes your waist. A small yet significant gesture because it makes you melt even more into his touch, helping you to ground yourself.

“But still…” you pout. You feel like you’ve wasted both of your days, a Saturday at that, beautiful weather outside, you could have done anything else.

Jake knew you were being hard on yourself because you were clearly frustrated and also probably didn’t feel the most confident today because according to him he’d have bought you at least half the stuff you tried on, because quote “you look good in almost everything, love.”

Just as you were about to give up and call it a day an idea struck you seemingly out of nothing. Your exhausted expression turned into a shy smirk and you could tell Jake was a bit confused for a second, waiting for you to share your thoughts with him.

“I think there’s one more thing I’d like to check out. Are you down?” you place your arms around Jake’s neck, the both of you now almost in an embrace as your smile only gets wider at your genius idea.

“Are you going to tell me what you have in mind?” He asks, his eyes glimmering with curiosity even though he knew you well enough after almost one and a half years of dating to have a slight idea of what you were getting at.

“It’s a surprise, but I have a feeling you’ll like it.” is all the information you give him and even though he raises a suspicious eyebrow at you, he agrees easily nonetheless and the both of you start to wrap things up at the current shop.

As you were done changing, Jake and you left the store without buying anything. Even though you were upset about the total failure that today has turned out to be just a few minutes ago, there seems to be no trace left of your past turmoil as you take Jake’s hand into yours and stride down the street, excitement bubbling in your chest.

Neither of you talk as you lead the way down the shopping street, since Jake knew he wouldn’t get more information out of you even if he tried and you were way too focused on your target to make casual conversation.

After a short 5 minute walk you stop in front of a very particular store that sells a very specific kind of clothing: lingerie.

“We’re here.” You grin at Jake, who needs a second to process what he’s looking at until his jaw goes slightly slack and he looks at you with big eyes.

“You want to go lingerie shopping with me?” He asks in slight disbelief.

Now, it’s not like Jake has never seen you in lingerie. The both of you have been dating for a while now and you like to surprise him from time to time with a new set, which you could always tell had an effect on him. The way you could physically see the thoughts leaving his brain as he admires how the lace wraps itself deliciously around your thighs and torso. You yourself enjoyed the sight of leaving your boyfriend dumbstruck, getting a slight ego-boost each time you see how much he wants you, even after being together for quite some time now.

You came up with the idea to take him here on a whim but you’ve been meaning to get a new set for a while now anyway, plus you thought maybe it could get your confidence back on track to try on various different kinds of lingerie with your boyfriend right then and there to see his reaction to each set.

“I mean why not? Might as well pick something out together, right?” You smirk at him playfully, knowing very well what kind of rollercoaster ride you were about to send him on.

“Right.” He confirmed, mind still processing what’s about to happen. He suddenly seems to snap out of it as he offers you his arm. “Shall we go in then?”

You nod at him enthusiastically as you take his arm and he leads you inside the store. You can tell from the moment you step inside that he’s utterly overwhelmed, his eyes roaming the store.

“Have you ever been in a lingerie shop before?” You ask him as you let go of his arm and start browsing through the different sets, bras and panties.

“Nah, this is a first for me.” He stammers as he keeps looking around, seemingly in awe with all the different options and colors.

“Really? None of your previous girlfriends have taken you lingerie shopping before?”

He just shakes his head, mouth slightly agape, still taking everything in. But you can tell he’s slightly intimidated, especially by the way he keeps avoiding direct eye contact with the saleswoman at the register.

You chuckle to yourself. You’re endeared at the sight of your boyfriend and how he seems to be completely out of his expertise, a look of awe on his face.

You know Jake really likes bralettes and so do you, so you scan the shelves for a cute set to try on, excitement bubbling in your chest as your eyes land on a pastel purple set with gorgeous flower lace and underwear that is silk and lace combined. You find one in your size and turn to your boyfriend who still hasn’t moved an inch since you entered the store.

“What about this one?” You call out to him, his head almost snaps from how violently he turns his head into your direction, almost like he just remembered you are actually here to buy something; for you.

His eyes land on the set you’re holding and you could swear his knees were about to give in.

Jake tends to be a really confident and assured guy and you love that about him. You love that he loves himself and is not afraid to show it, but there’s just something about flustered Jake that strikes a chord within you like no other version of your boyfriend and that’s why you’re currently enjoying this experience to the fullest. Something about him is irresistible when he has that pretty blush coloring his cheeks.

“This one?” He points at the purple set, eyes big. “Yeah, it looks- it looks really pretty.”

He comes over to you, taking the set from you and carrying it for you as you keep looking around the store as the gentleman that he is. You can tell he has a hard time meeting your eyes though, his cheeks slightly flushed; and you get it.

Usually, Jake only ever gets to see you in your favorite lingerie when it’s just the two of you, somewhere where you have your privacy, somewhere, where he doesn’t have to hide how much it affects him, seeing you like that, all pretty just for him.

Now, right here in the store, it’s different because you’re in public and he has to behave and keep his hands to himself. And it seems like he’s already mentally wrestling with himself at the prospect of that.

“Pick something out too, show me what you wanna see me in.” You tell him, almost too innocently.

Jake almost can’t believe what he’s hearing, he gets to choose… And suddenly he takes the task very seriously and wastes no time going around the store to look for something he’d think you’d look gorgeous in. It’s almost comical how determined he is all of a sudden, the thought of being able to choose something himself clearly spurring him on.

After the two of you look through the store for almost twenty minutes, sometimes on your own and sometimes you ask each other for the others opinion, you’ve put together a cute little collection consisting of the purple set you’ve set your eyes on first, a dark red bodysuit which Jake has picked out for you, a cute pair of light pink tap shorts with a suitable bra, also Jake’s choice and a pair of pretty tights you could attach to the underwear of your purple set.

Looking at everything you’ve gathered, you were very happy with your picks, also with Jake’s he has done a good job of combining your personal taste in lingerie with what he’d personally like to see you in.

You don’t waste anymore time and make your way over to the dressing rooms, telling Jake to sit down and wait real quick for you to try on the first set. From the corner of your eye you see his leg bouncing up and down due to nerves and anticipation and close the door to the cabin behind you.

You change into the purple set first and the moment you have it on you decide for yourself that coming here was the best decision you guys have made today because finally you felt good in something you tried on. None of the clothes you’ve changed in and out of the whole day have felt this good on your body and seeing the reaction of your boyfriend was just the icing on the cake.

“I’m ready.” You announce before you open the door to be instantly greeted by Jake’s waiting figure.

You tried to grasp Jake’s expression and couldn’t hold back the chuckle at the sight of his jaw going slack, his eyes scanning your body up and down, like he had done so many times today already, but this time was completely different. He seemed to completely soak up the way you look, making a mental image for himself.

Eventually he met your eyes and you swear you could see a slight blush creeping up his face again. He took a hesitant step closer to you, overcome by the urge to touch you but he stopped himself.

“I mean, wow. You look– you look really good, love” and you take his word for it because he can’t take his eyes off of you. The way the lace compliments your body perfectly, sitting tight in all the right places, leaving little to the imagination. You can also tell that he’s a little starstruck by the way he can’t bring himself to say anything else. It seems like you’ve left him speechless.

“Thanks.” You say casually, smiling and doing a little spin for him.

“So is this a yay or a nay?” You ask him as if you couldn’t judge by his expression alone.

“Yay!” He almost says too quickly.

“Definitely a yay.” He says a bit more calmly after he has catched himself.

“Ready for the next one?” You ask as you turn around to go back into the cabin.

“Just give me a few more seconds.” He said almost desperately and you can’t help but be completely endeared by him. The thought sinks in that he’s being like this because of you. It’s you who has turned this confident, usually loud guy into a stuttering mess. You’d lie if you’d say it doesn’t do things to boost your ego through the roof; to be admired like this by someone like your boyfriend, someone who’d clearly have no struggle getting any person he’d want to but he ended up falling for you and he made you feel so loved and appreciated every single day.

To be with Jake was like experiencing your first love all over again. It was exciting, but also calm when it was just the two of you and he brushed his hand through your hair gently while your head rested on his torso, enjoying the sensation of chest rising and sinking underneath you. But it was also the night outs, where he’d take you to places you’ve never been before and show you sides of yourself you didn’t know about yourself yet.

And through it all he held your hand, never once daring to let go. Sometimes you thought he might be worried you’d slip too easily from his grip, little did he know that he had secured you for life if he’d wanted to.

His eyes keep observing every curve of your body, every edge, every bump. You take a step towards him and place a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“There’s more to come.” You whisper into his ear before you disappear back into the cabin and even though you can’t see it with your own two eyes, you can practically feel how your boyfriend is deflating on the other side of that door, folding into himself.

Next up you chose the tap shorts and the bra Jake picked out for you and even though it’s not something you’d usually go for you think it looks really cute, you can instantly see why your boyfriend would have picked this.

“I’m coming out” you say as you step out of the cabin for the second time and find your boyfriend in a similar state as before, but this time he starts fanning himself.

“It’s starting to get hot in here, isn’t it?” he jokes, fanning himself with a leaflet you got handed earlier in the day on the street.

Your boyfriend’s pupils are properly blown out right now and you can tell he has a hard time holding himself back. You start to think that he might actually really be into this, them being in public while his thoughts run wild, basically undressing you with his eyes.

“You’re evil, actually. Do you know that?” He says flustered but with his usual humorous undertone.

“Evil, huh?” Once again you step closer to him, brushing the collar of his shirt with your hand as if to wipe off dust, just so your hand could slowly travel down his shoulder, all the way down his arm, riling him up even further.

Jake can’t believe what he’s witnessing and he also can’t believe how much it’s affecting him, he can tell you’re playing with fire and it’d only need one word from you and he’d throw all his restraint out the window.

“So, I guess we’re getting this one as well?” You ask him, batting your eyelashes at him, trying to look innocent.

You don’t even wait for an answer from him as you once again disappear in the cabin, leaving behind a starstruck Jake, rendered speechless yet again.

The last thing for you to try on was the dark red bodysuit and you were actually quite excited for this one and you were even more pleased when it fit you perfectly. The moment you laid eyes on yourself you knew this was gonna be Jake’s last straw.

This time you didn’t warn him, as you stepped out of the cabin, presenting yourself one last time to your boyfriend who at this point looked like a starved animal.

It takes him a few seconds to fully take everything in until a look of defeat overcame him.

“That’s it, I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.” He overdramatized, throwing his hands up in defeat.

“You don’t like it?” You tease, feigning hurt, knowing exactly how to press his buttons.

“Evil.” He points a finger at you, “that’s what you are. God, baby, you look stunning, you know how hard it is to not touch you right now?” He steps closer as he puts his hands on your hips; a featherlight touch.

“I need you to behave just a little bit longer, can you do that for me?”

He buries his head in the crook of your neck and sighs deeply. “I’ll behave, but just know that it’s really hard to resist you when you look this good.”

“Poor puppy is having a hard time?” You tease him, enjoying yourself way too much and he can tell.

Jake only nods, his face still buried in your neck but you just know he’s flushed to the tip of his ears at your words, the grip on your waist getting rougher momentarily.

You process to peel him slowly off of you and are entirely satisfied with the small whine of protest that leaves your boyfriend’s lips at the distance you put between your bodies.

“So, I’d suggest I get changed really quick and we head home, yeah?”

Jake’s spirit lifts immediately at your suggestion and he nods. “And best believe we’re taking all of that with us.” He’s gesturing at the pile of lingerie that has accumulated on the stool of the cabin.

“Alright, alright, I heard you loud and clear. I’ll be out in a minute.” but before you turn around to change for the last time that day, you place a soft short kiss on Jake’s lips. It’s your way of saying thank you, because all day you haven’t quite felt like yourself and your confidence took a great hit at the fact that nothing you tried on seemed to look good on you, insecurities starting to manifest in your mind and therefore your mood sobering throughout your day.

Well, leave it to your flustered boyfriend and a lingerie store that now all of these worries are swept off of your mind and you end the day feeling on top of yourself again.

After the kiss, Jake smiles fondly at you, apparently having received the message you tried to deliver.

However, you made quick work of changing back into your clothes after that because you’d lie if you’d say your little trip to the lingerie store has left you completely unaffected.

Jake takes it upon himself to treat you and pays for everything you tried on, saying it’s “for the experience”.

There were no more pit stops after that, the both of you suddenly feeling the urge to be home as soon as possible, because if there’s one thing you both enjoy more than Jake admiring you in lingerie, it’s him taking it off of you.

hope you enjoyed! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

[baby-tini]

I really like imagining Chuuya to be just. Such a gentleman. To the point of it almost being cheesy and old fashioned, but it's not because it's him doing it. He tries not to curse around you because "you're a lady" but then spews absolute filth when you're fucking. Also doesn't mind if you speak crassly, he can't, he's the man here, he should show restraint. Early on, he uses honorifics with you until you explicitly state that he can drop them, always takes his hat off in your presence if you two are alone, always pays for everything (he's got a thing for that one in particular) etc.

I'm also really into the whole him basically being your bodyguard when ya'll are out thing, but it's subtle (Of course, he has a gun in his waistband, but that's to be expected) I'm talking the sidewalk rule, always the sidewalk rule, I'm talking opening doors, I'm talking constantly surveying his surroundings for potential threats or exits, giving death glares to guys who stare just a bit too long and then turning back to you with a smile as you continue to ramble on whatever it is you're talking about (he loves it, it's so cute), When he has the time and if you two aren't living together, he's coming over to fix shit. Kitchen cabinet closes weirdly? Car needs repearing? Heavy furniture needs to be moved? He's on it. Why would you pay some dickhead who's probably gonna fuck it up anyway to do it when he can?

It's the same in the bedroom. A giver through and through. Just wants to make you feel good, wants to get you cockdrunk and limp, to overwhelm you with pleasure, to bruise your cervix, you feel so good to him, it strokes his ego to see you fall apart all because of him, because of his mouth and fingers and dick.

I was very tempted too keep this to myself, too think about it constantly- cause that's all I've been doing with this post. I don't think I've seen a better characterization of Chuuya, this is literally perfect. Also the "you're a lady" thing made me think of this.

Chuuya is a gentleman at heart, he was taught too treat women like royalty, seeing as though, he was basically raised by a woman, Kouyou. Chuuya, I agree, is pretty old-fashioned, he definitely comes off as that old-fashioned mobster that you see in movies. But when it comes too how he acts, he is literally the inspiration for the cheesy male role in rom-coms. As for his curing.. we all know that he does that a lot, it's a pretty nasty habit of his that he won't break anytime soon, but he tries, especially for you, because you're too pretty too hear the utter filth coming out of his mouth, but you don't mind and he knows you don't mind especially when his cock is fucking into you. Leaving you breathless, unable too speak from just how good he feels inside of you. His gruff voice in your ear, telling you how good you feel- how good you make him feel. He's so soft with you though, careful not too be too harsh because even if you do like it rough, he's never left bruises on you; ever. Sure, he never leaves you unsatisfied, never- not once. Because bruises are for him too deal with, they're for him too come home with. They shouldn't even be spotted on your soft skin, the thought of it makes him upset. But, yes, he'll pull out your chair at the restaurant, open the door for you. Also the paying for you is such a him thing, because he makes more then enough money for you too spend he just has so much, why would you spend your hard earned money when he has loads for you too spend on whatever the fuck it is that you want.

He knows that his job in the mafia is dangerous, and you could be hurt just by association and he can't have that, and as much as he'd like too just relax and have a good time with you, he knows that's not the most achievable especially given his high ranking position of being an executive. His eyes are constantly shooting left and right, checking for any suspicious behavior coming from anyone, or anything that just looks a little too out of place. Now, Chuuya doesn't really need a gun, sure he keeps one in the drawer next to the side of your guys shared bed, but a gun would poke out a little too much for his liking, so that's where his ability comes in, he also, canonly, has a knife on him, at basically all times, so you can rest assured that you are very safe. Now I do like the sidewalk rule. Because he would!!! He doesn't even let you think about walking close to the road, you stay near the wall, and if you're someone that tends too drift as you walk, maybe can't walk in straight line, that's fine because he'll just move your you to the side by your hips- or even better, he'll hold your hand so you don't stray too far. He also lays on the side of the bed that's closest to the door, so if there is a problem he can just quickly jump up and deal with it, also you'd be behind him, so if they did shoot, he has his ability and if you're small enough, they might not even see you; which is what he's betting on. I also think that he guards the door while you use the bathroom, he doesn't care if it's a big, multiple stall womans restroom, no is allowed in while you're in there. He, in his own right, is your own personal little handy man. Like you said, fixing up the things around the house, he also is the type too fix your things before you notice there's something wrong with them. Like if something of yours had fallen, a vase of roses perhaps, had broken he'd buy you a new one and replace the same flowers so that it looks like nothing ever happened, or if you had a stuffed animal that you treasured he'd attempt too sew it for you- he doesn't wanna buy a new one right away cause it's special and he knows something like that can't just easily be replaced, so he tries his best. But, he wouldn't pay a man too do something that he could do- and Chuuya would do it better, best believe.

Chuuya has always been a giver, anting too make you feel good in anyway he can. He makes it his job too learn your body fully. He wants too know your body better then you do, he doesn't ever want you too be one of those women that feel like they have too get themselves off because they're partners don't care enough too make them cum. Chuuya does care and this is one of the little ways he shows that. I also hc Chuuya too be the type of person that doesn't do... sex. He makes love. Sure he'll fuck you, especially if he's pent up from work, but he makes it his mission too make love to you at some point in the night. Whether that be the soft kisses in between bites to your neck or rubbing and caressing the area that he had just spanked. He never wants the thought of sex for you too be mentally or physically exhausting, like you're just doing it too please him. But, he does also get a kick when he watches you push at his chest and then tug and pull at the sheets because you just don't know what too do with yourself. Your so overwhelmed with how good it is that you just lay there and take it or you just can't hold still. That's what he enjoys though, when you just can't hold still so he has too hold you down with his ability so that you physically can't move, but the aftermath is his favorite. You calling for him so that he can carry you to the shower because you can't move or him coming down the stairs shirtless, with his grey sweats low on his hips, seeing the love bites on your neck and on your thighs as you cook him breakfast.

[alessabriel]

Female Characters Arcane

Summary: 

Character: Vi (Violet), Sevika, Jinx (Powder), Caitlyn Kiramman, Mel Medarda, Grayson, Ambessa Medarda, Renata Glasc, Cassandra Kiramman. 

Cw. ninguna. 

➤  Vi (Violet).

In retrospect Vi had always been the strong one in everything, there was so much she carried inside her that sometimes she felt nothing short of exploding so hard and imploding until she disappeared. She didn't know if she felt like a supernova in moments, maybe she was exploding and never knew it or so she thought until she felt herself melting against soft hands, long fingers, slightly calloused fingertips, manicured nails and such a delicious feeling that shook her from bone to muscle. She felt boneless, naked, exposed, vulnerable and muscles exposed to the open air, naked nerves, nerves that you caressed so sweetly letting everything inside her melt and stir in an amalgam of comfort, warmth and coziness. It was cozy, it felt good to be comforted, cared for. It felt good, cared for, loved, adored even and it was embarrassing how she pushed her face into your chest; rubbing her cheek against the softness, bewitching herself in your scent, clinging to your body and wrapping her arms around your hips, squeezing in the hope that you wouldn't disappear.

"Because you love me so much pretty girl?"

He doesn't know why he asks, he just does, because he doesn't think he deserves so much love (if he does, he deserves it so much that you consider it almost a crime that he doesn't believe it).

"Because it's you, I love you from head to toe, the satisfying or unsatisfying feelings included, when you come home from a boxing league fight in Zaun with bloody knuckles, when I see you come home from work in that uniform I know you still hate, when you wake up with your hair a mess and in a bad mood, when you sleep, when you think you're not presentable, as a teenager and right now, I can't imagine myself anywhere else but next to you Vi" you recite with such ease, syrupy words rolling off your tongue with such sweetness and ease that they seem like honey, as you gently cradle her cheeks between your palms adoring her features; slightly bushy eyebrows, bright powder blue eyes, deceptively long eyelashes, nose just a little crooked from his countless fights, the small scar that gently parts his left eyebrow, the nose piercing, slightly plump lips and the scar on his upper lip, the tattoo on his cheek of a Roman six, the freckles that so subtly dot his skin"....I love everything about you Violet, I always will, until you let me."

Vi didn't pretend that this answer didn't completely disarm her; bone by bone, nerve by nerve until she felt almost dissected by every word and how your love seeped like water through her fingers, your loving gaze was only the last nail that cemented her love for you. Your love was intense when self-sabotage was at her fingertips and nightmares made her believe she was unloved, it was soft and gentle when she felt discouraged and decided, overwhelming when she felt needy and could not express it, violent when she refused to hear that she was loved. If you loved her you filled every nook and cranny, and helped her to get through, to move on and go on. You simply knew how to meticulously dissect her, skin layer by skin layer, muscles, bones, joints and veins to sneak your love in. You disassembled her to an almost molecular degree or could be compared to it. So, she just hid her face in her partner's shoulder, feeling her cheeks flushed beyond redness even her ears felt hot, her heart racing, her hands sweating and even her body's response to your caresses and words.

"...never leave me love"

"I will never rosita" you reply in a soft voice caressing the back of her neck, playing with the soft strands of her pink hair.

"...don't call me that" Vi whispered, even though she loved that cheesy nickname.

And you always understood her, as Vi understood you.

➤ Sevika 

For Sevika the notion of a quiet night was a lot, but occasionally this was; arriving at her apartment in Zaun (the only good thing about being Silco's second in command) where you usually arrived earlier since you worked in the weapons factories, hence you arrived before her. So arriving was a daily process, arriving at the place they shared where it always smelled like a meal cooked a little at a time, sometimes it smelled like a familiar food or a random dessert.

She craved something sweet.

She never knew how her partner was always aware of when she was craving something sweet, but she had an uncanny accuracy to it and today after dealing with Jinx's problems, having to fix them and not being able to complain because Jinx's self-proclaimed father would tell her to shut up, as if her job included babysitting a girl over 18. Fuck.

"From here I can see smoke coming out of that head of yours Vika."

Before she could even articulate a word a plate with a generous piece of chocolate cake was placed in front of her with a cutlery, she justly occupied something sweet to get over the bad drink.

"...again another mess I had to clean up" she grumbled annoyed, not in the mood to elaborate.

"Jinx, right?"

Sevika just affirmed, before taking the first bite, the chocolate exploded in his mouth and relaxed him a little, it was the little treats you usually always gave him, along with intimacy, and a life together that softened his heart.

"I don't want to bore you with the details sweetie" he replies before taking another bite of cake.

"you never bore me what happened Vika?"

The best nights are those where he eats something sweet prepared by the hands of the woman he loved and just talk, sometimes about nothing, sometimes about everything, about the future they dreamed together as children (although it was not the same it was close to what they imagined although with the difference that she herself could never give you everything she dreamed of giving you), about how they were so fucked up that nothing could get them out of that hole but together it was worth it or about the day of both of them. Sometimes she allowed herself to daydream, to dream of a better life to be able to give her partner, a place where they both didn't have to be so meddled with everything they knew would cost them in the long run.

"I love you Vika" you whispered in a syrupy voice, before stealing a kiss from Sevika that tasted like chocolate and expensive cigars.

Sometimes Sevika felt good like this.

➤ Jinx (Powder)

Mylo's voice sometimes upset her more than she could bear, more than she was willing to tolerate and she felt like scratching her scalp until she reached her skull, to go even further to her brain and to be able to shut up that irritating voice. Now she was not the Powder who felt bad about everything, who felt her spirit die with every veiled insult, with every "whenever something goes wrong, you bring bad luck" or with every memory that she tried hard to forget because she would not have them anymore, because she would never have access to more of it. So she became engrossed in improving her pumps, making the closed circuit more precise and making sure no one could see inside them.

"Silco says you haven't eaten in a few blue days."

Jinx hears you, clearly he does as your voice is the only one capable of getting through all the voices swirling in his ears; Mylo scoffing and Claggor pointing out a few things on his pump, thanks a thousand times your voice.

"...Silco says a lot of things" he grumbles before pressing the pump in the perfect closed loop to throw it towards the vacuum under the huge turbine where his workshop was located listening to the explosion "but he's right this time, I haven't eaten and I don't plan to...Did you cook me? Gimme, gimme, gimme!"

Sometimes she regrets everything that was going on, but the only thing that made her feel good and maybe somewhat lucky (contrary to what Mylo was always saying in her ear) to have a girl who was in love with her and who cared for her in her own way, sometimes she thought that your love kept her halfway sane, but er a secret that she would take to her grave forever.

Powder, in the past knew what filial love, support and warmth felt like.

Until blue came along to change everything.

Jinx, knows what fear is in the eyes of others, what affection for identification is since Silco saw himself in her but never knew to what degree which led him to treat her as a daughter which he sincerely appreciated, and knew what pure love meant, love without adultery.

You, blessed and cursed be you loved her for every positive and negative trait, you held her in her crises, you embraced her when nightmares destroyed her bone by bone, and when pink detonated her. You had seen the worst of her being, that lurid, dirty, stained and ground to a bloody pulp and yet you could love her, encourage her, tell her the truth and be her pillar. You seemed to be forged in heaven with a resilience that only the devil could create, or so she formulated.

"Have you cracked the Hextech theory yet?" you question interested, looking over her shoulder at her work leaving her to eat in peace and her space.

Jinx takes a while to pass the huge mouthful of food she had taken, but it was a sandwich with everything she liked and she finally had something in her stomach, she didn't know how but every food you touched tasted a thousand times better.

"something like that" she replies as she passes the bite with a gulp of apple juice, and her mind betrays her with remembering that you had a huge gallon of apple juice in your home just for when she visited did that feel like being loved? maybe yes "they are equations, calculations, instruction and so on, sequences of steps but I have a little trouble deciphering them, I have to recreate the, understand them so I can replicate them, and runes I think? I think they are runes and I don't know what they mean, but an easy job would be boring."

"wow that sounds complicated"

She only nods at your words, before she feels the gentle weight of your bandaged hand against her slender shoulder, and immediately identifies the weight of your hand on her. A welcome weight, loved, adored even and she melts all over, mouth full; your lips softly against her hundred, with warm, abiding love.

"Blue luck" you say in a soft voice, just for her.

Jinx stays alone in her workshop, a plate of food on her desk with another sandwich which she must finish because it is a crime not to finish the food you make her with so much love next to the big glass of apple juice, a glass which you yourself had made for her filled with soft drawings of the sky clouds over a gradient in blue of different shades until bordering on black. Her old glass had broken and you, bless you, had made her a new one, a new meaning that didn't make her retch from time to time.

How much did you love her? She thinks, maybe, you loved her very much and that comforts her.

➤ Caitlyn Kiramman. 

For Caitlyn to really feel her mother's rejection for her career was like a little thorn embedded in her skin and to be reduced to only having patrols in the Piltover shopping area was a bruise on the flesh, blood grinding and reminiscent of the annoyance from time to time, she hates it. She hates that it left her on patrols in expensive stores, the commercial sector and plaza of Piltover where nothing was going on.

It took her away from the countryside where she wanted to be to see the world outside of golden Piltover.

But, as always, she found the good part of it, she could sneak away and escape at times to that elegant, beautiful and minimalist store full of beautiful flowers exported from murky waters, Bandle City, Demacia, the Freljord, Ixtal, Ionia, Noxus, Targon and Zaun, that's a lot of flowers that are on display for all who can and want to buy, a beautiful and elegant flower shop. Whenever you went in there it was a delight to your nose since it smelled like a combination of flowers, a sweet, clean and you perfume. Although it was an irony since you always smelled of flowers, and perfume.

You were her safe place.

Caitlyn makes her way pretending to check until she reaches the flower shop and enters, opening the thick ornate glass doors that only allowed a partial view of the flower shop and when she steps inside, the amalgamation of scents so pleasant hits her nose in a friendly way and then she sees you, you're in the back room she sees you coming and going with flowers in your hands, so he takes the trouble to put up the sign "I'll be back in a flower arrangement" which always gave him grace and advanced through the store seeing the elegant furniture in pleasant tones to the back room where you are humming creating very elegant flower arrangements with a crystal flower in the middle of other more extravagant and beautiful ones. She leans against the door frame, watching you create those beautiful floral arrangements before rapping her knuckles on the door.

"Did I tell you that you look like a fairy?" she questions with amusement, it's a sweet nickname she's always had for you

"This fairy witnesses an enforcer skipping her patrols? The audacity" you reply with a chuckle, amused "Mistress Cassandra put you on a leash again pretty girl?"

She snorts when she hears you, stepping fully into the back room closing the door seeing that in the back there are even more flowers on huge furniture acclimating for them "You know, she's got the short leash for me and daddy couldn't dissuade her, so I'll be here for a few weeks."

"Then we can have lunch together. What do you think?" you offer, looking for something good in between everything.

"it would be a crime not to take advantage, sure do you fancy going for lunch? I've already put up your "I'll be back in a flower arrangement" sign" she says with amusement at the text you created when you got your own place

"Oh come on, it's original miss enforcer."

Yeah, maybe there was something good about patrolling the shopping area.

➤ Mel Medarda. 

"Don't move so much dear" Mel says, without the need to see you as she hears the soft sound of the silk sliding across your skin and is concentrating on the canvas finishing finding the exact tone of your skin, as if she has it memorized already "I don't want to lose the pose I indicated".

"It's just that my thigh itches" you grumble with a disgruntled pout because of the itch and when Mel allows you to move, you scratch just a little and return to the pose that is not so uncomfortable, leaning back against an elegant armchair that Mel had acquired just for you when they started living together with only a silk covering your skin in the areas where they should be covered "Aren't you bored? I am, talk about something, I don't know."

"A troubled muse, from what I see" adds with a chuckle Mel, smiling combining the tones in the palette watching you with deep gaze analyzing your anatomy, how your thighs joined your wide hips with a softness as if you were molded by the gods themselves and maybe, it was true "I'm almost done and I'll take you to dinner at your favorite restaurant"

"I want desserts" you jump with excitement, not realizing how the silk falls from your chest revealing your breasts and you remember your possess returning to her with blushing cheeks "Sorry love"

Mel just smiles, and finds even more charming the pose you came to be in, a gentle evolution of the original pose, demure and sensual, almost an innocent combination, as your gaze falls to the side as a soft embarrassment, but notice your sidelong glance at herself, a gaze full of love and glow. It is one of the many canvases she has created, in a long list of paintings that are in her living room and there will be one more.

"You should order food first, if you eat only desserts your stomach will hurt" she points out, adding more shadows.

"Mel" you complain in a whiny and annoyed tone, holding the pose.

"Food before, dessert after and rosé wine" tries to convince Mel already knowing your eternal love for sweet, and well sweet comes back to sweet

"...okay"

"Good girl"

Silence fills the room, and Mel continues with the painting on the canvas, trying to portray your sweet self until your voice again is heard, she loves that you are that sweet and somewhat whiny woman, because it is only in moments like these where you show how spoiled she has you, and it must be so, something she learned in Noxus (maybe the only good thing) that couples will always be priority and keeps you pampered, spoiled and happy, like you have her happy always.

"Almost there?"

Yes, she loves those moments where your gaze meets hers and you look like a spoiled little princess but there is a sweet fun in your eyes that she loves and finds herself adoring.

"I think I'll paint other canvases."

"Mel!"

He just laughs, continuing, he loves when you are his muse, because in retrospect you are always his muse even when you wake up disheveled and when you are dazzlingly beautiful decked out in the best dresses. He simply loves you.

➤ Grayson. 

he stress of work weighs heavy on his body, he almost feels twice his age and when he gets home, the aroma of a meal cooking wafts from the kitchen delighting his nose and being, you are his home and he adores you, you are the perfect wife. He distracts himself by taking off his boots in the entryway, stepping onto the cold living room floor passing through the spacious living room before he gets the soft smack of you impacting against his body and he can only smile, you always do that even when they were young and he loves those effusive hugs.

"You know I come home dirty from work honey" he speaks in a soft, gravelly voice close to your ear, squeezing his arm around your shoulders and kisses your hundred, savoring that expensive cream you love so much and keeps your skin smooth, from which he steals from time to time

"You know I don't mind, I must give you your hug every time you arrive" you grumble against his suit, he smells a bit humorous and a bit sour, he sure did patrol in Zaun with the recent peace treaty between the two cities and you cling to his chest, before looking up seeing him with loving eyes, Grayson is so beautiful beyond belief and as the years go by she only gets more attractive and handsome, you love that rugged and gentle air which combine masterfully in her and you stand on tiptoe kissing her "Welcome home, I'm making your favorite but I'll leave it on low heat and I can give you a bath."

"Do I look so old that you already ueires to give me a bath yourself?" she questions, with light humor frying her nose against your cheek holding you against her body, hugging you lovingly and loving the sweetish scent on your skin.

"It's not that" you say, with a pout before kissing his jaw and biting it gently "But I want to spoil you, you're the man of the house" you add, with dark humor that only your wife understands.

Grayson can only smile, the black humor between the two was a way to deal with turbulent issues with their respective families, in your own case your father disowned you for marrying a woman (a beautiful and special woman, it should be clarified) which was something that hurt you at the time but now is a topic they make jokes like that about, and in your case your parents hated you from the beginning for not being male and well, black humor is being able to make fun of everything that can hurt them and well, in your marriage humor is never lacking.

"Well, well I can't deny my sweet wife anything."

The trip to the bathroom in the master bedroom where you both have slept for years, the uniform is left in the laundry basket and you step into the shower, getting all the dirt off listening to you humming as she watches you through the glass door that blurs everything and when she steps out, her own nakedness doesn't bother her and you less, you've seen each other naked before in all the marriage os, there's nothing sexual and when she touches the hot water with soothing salts, she almost melts against the marble, even more so when she feels your hands in her hair smearing the conditioner which keeps her frizzy hair in place and your fingers against her scalp almost makes her purr, melt against you.

"Don't you get tired of pampering me honey?" she questions in a deep voice, relaxed against the tub.

"Don't you get tired of loving me? Of waking me up with kisses? Of taking me on dates to places I tell you about and always remember? Of being the love of my life?" you question, voice soft and flowing, stroking her scalp taking care of her hair.

"Never."

"We're on the same page."

Grayson knows what it's like to feel loved, he knows what it's like to love, and he wouldn't change a thing about his life, he wants to love you for millennia if possible, in this life and beyond.

➤ Ambessa Medarda. 

"You know it's going to be hard" you say, to the air listening to her heavy, steady footsteps against the white marble floor of your personal library in the palace, your wife in all her warrior and emotionally constipated glory wandering around pacing, and you just leave her drawing the memory of the meal you had with your daughter and son-in-law; Mel and Jayce, they make such a cute couple it's inevitable not to portray them, you'll give it to your daughter.

"I know, things are never easy and even less so with Mel."

"Well, if you were banished you'd be upset too and remember, I almost divorced you, so do better."

Ambessa bites her lip, remembering that turbulent moment, as cruel as it is, that she embodies the fox and the wolf at the same time she loves her family with all her being, with everything and she could destroy a thousand regions in order to protect them, strip herself of her humanity in order not to lose them, which is a paradox since she herself banished her daughter, the daughter she loved so much and who exasperated her so much because Mel was like her before she touched death, before accepting that she could become that warlord that her clan needed because she would not throw her wife to that place although, in a global vision of everything she knows that her wife is a fox in the skin of a rabbit, she is the most lethal strategist of Noxus that even the other four warlords respect and rightly so, she does not need strength or a cannon to subdue the rest, to prove her worth and Mel also inherited that. Her daughter was, in retrospect the culmination of their love for each other in her.

"I know" she replied, annoyed but not addressing her properly dropping into the long nest you must always have in your personal library and when she sees how you put down your notebook, she comes over dropping her head in your lap "but...I really want to sort it all out."

"Have you tried talking to her yet, telling her the truth?" you question, running your fingers through her hair between wavy and curly, unruly letting her cling to your legs, her hand large and calloused against your bare leg due to the Noxus dress you wore, her fingers though they carried death and carried blood to no end on your skin, on your flesh they were gentle "...that time was hard, and you proved your point, I wasn't ready to go through that ordeal like Kino did, Mel is diplomatic and doesn't value war, death and blood like you were raised and what you held on to, but what you hold high for your clan, for your family and well Kino is just like you but with a little diplomacy in the recipe."

She just sighs, feeling your caresses and lets her guard down, feeling naked and vulnerable, nerves in the air and in your sight "I know, it was selfish of me to push her away, save her from what would end up like us"

"acknowledging it is the first step, Kino has already spoken to you and her sister, all that remains is to give that head of yours time my love."

Ambessa never knows how you can love her, weapons, blood and death, trouble recognizing her own feelings, and a fierce strength to keep her family alive, her clan but, well she wants to bathe in your love, receive your caresses and delicacy. Only you have seen this vulnerable side and yet you love it. You have seen her crying after her first war, when she came back with blood on her hands and partially broken psyche, but you were there holding her tight despite the size difference, you held her all night long letting her cry until, she became the warlord she is now.

"...Will you be with me there when I talk to Mel?"

"I'll never leave you Bess, you married me and you'll never get rid of me in hell."

And if Ambessa was true to herself, heaven, hell and earth, she always wants to be with you. With loving softness which she professes only to you, she holds your wrist kissing your pulse sliding the kisses down to your finger where a red gold ring in the shape of a vine with a crystalline diamond adorns your ring finger above the black band, she made those rings herself and you never take them off your hands.

"Then I'm in luck, because I never want to leave you."

➤ Renata Glasc. 

He knows the feeling of climbing from the depths of mud, garbage and waste to position himself at the top of the city of iron and glass, installing a house in Piltover that became the central in medicine, cost horrors but here he was today controlling Zaun from the clouds and among the light air which does not make the lungs tremble. She grew at the expense of the misfortune of others, but, in Zaun is common and controls everything, leaving a certain slack to the rest of the barons and baronesses giving them the false sensation of power and freedom, to destroy them if she believes that they will put themselves in the same step where she is.

She is privileged to be at the top of the food chain in Zaun and Piltover, even if those pilties don't know it.

Many describe her as a cruel and cold woman, she is that and more. But, if his wife asked her to freeze hell she would do it. The only truth was, your wife was the one who possessed your purest and most sincere love which she has extracted from her cold chest just for you, leaving her heart in your flimsy hands. Therefore, he finds it fascinating to look at you, to admire your body, your silhouette and various expressions, your soft hands and how your skin no longer shows that sickly tone from lack of sun.

"Stop staring at me like that Ren" you say, in a soft whisper, shy like the first time he saw you.

"Darling it's impossible to stop looking at you, you are my wife and I love to admire you" Renata replies in a deep voice, approaching with fluid steps to you, where you gently place every little piece of mirror on the wall of her office, you were her little artist "...you are a natural artist and I love to see when you create all of this"

"You have always seen me, even when I graffitied the alleys of Zaun, one would think you would be bored by now" you say, gently taking each piece of mirror sticking it on the wall creating a scene and you feel Renata's mechanical hand on your hip which makes you sigh, you try hard not to think about what happened this morning at home, when she held you with that same mechanical arm so sleek and stylish yet strong pinning you against the bed and Renata devouring you

"I never tire of your creative process."

Renata rests her chin on your head, seeing every little piece of glass on the wall simulating like a fissure where you see a beautiful city, a Zaun you dreamed of and just kisses your hundred "one day I will make that Zaun come true."

I love you and I would give you hell, heaven, earth, the firmament just to make you smile, that's what he wants to say but he's silent when he sees your smile, your eyes full of love.

Renata can't imagine anyone else by her side but you.

➤ Cassandra Kiramman. 

If someone had told you in the past that you would end up married to the girl you came to hate (I didn't really, it was a gay panic actually) who brought you gray hairs with that joy and optimism, with her sweet, pleasant and kind smiles, with her concern, naked emotions, how you weren't afraid of feelings and showing them, that girl you hate in the past is currently your wife.

She is married to the love of your life and has a daughter with you.

He sighs softly, savoring the flower tea that he likes to drink and that you brought from your travels outside Piltover, a beautiful small flower enclosed in a bud, opaque and dry until it comes in contact with hot water blooming leaving the most beautiful flowers, and creating a sweet, delicious tea with a unique flavor. A box of tea that you always brought for her, without fail along with flowers, and books from other regions that she spends her nights reading. To tell the truth, the girl she hated in the past now made her happy, her cheeks hurt from smiling so much when you came on a trip and wrapped her in a tight hug, but every time she saw that scene it made her heart flip, it was as if you carved your name on her heart and soul.

"It's not fair mommy!" you hear a little childish voice squeal with indignation, it's in the middle of the huge garden with some dartboards a considerable distance away and the little girl stomps her little foot on the ground showing her anger "You let me win and I'll tell mommy!".

Cassandra feels her heart melt, as Caitlyn is held in her wife's arms and hears her laugh, it's impossible for Caitlyn to get so angry at her wife when you always get the giggles out of her to no end.

"I didn't let you win Caitlyn, you really won there" you point out in a soft voice once you leave her leaning on your hip looking at the targets and the rifle on the ground, an exact copy of yours because that's what your daughter wanted "You'll really be a good shot you know that?"

"Do you think so mom?" questions Caitlyn, small and bright-eyed to the max, expression cheerful and hopeful

"Of course I do honey, and when you grow up I'll make a rifle just for you" you promise with a smile, watching your daughter prance in your arms and you kiss her cheeks lovingly "A rifle just for you, just like you wanted."

Cassandra just smiles, watching the cute scene and how Caitlyn sees you with bright eyes, huge and hopeful, she loved her family even that woman who made her angry, who made her laugh until she cried and break her cold facade, make her heart beat wildly, but she is the woman she loves to see sleeping next to her, she simply loves her and she wouldn't change any of that.

His life is happy.

[austinbutlerslovers]

The Belt

Label Mature 18+

Summary During the cast party for his latest film, you spoke very poorly about Austin to a co-star, confessing your dissatisfaction about him being overly controlling when he is stressed at home and a neglectful workaholic when he is not.

When word gets back to Austin about what you said, he is livid because you didn't tell him and he prides himself on his professional reputation. Despite him giving you everything you desire, you still remain unsatisfied, behaving like a brat. He decides it's time to punish you again teaching you a lesson to make you behave.

When he summons you to his office, you already know he's going to punish you and that somehow, word got back to him. If he weren't so dominating, you might even enjoy it. However, he loves to make you red and raw until the very end, providing you with sexual relief only when he's ready.

Established relationship married 💍

⚠️ Hardcore Smut ⚠️ Male dominance • spankings• name calling•choking •overstimulation •nipple play • biting • manhandling •manipulation •oral sex on male by force • clit play• body slapping • humiliation kink • dirty talk•oral on female •cum eating•multiple orgasms

You guys voted hard for this……😬🫡 💀 Austin Punishment level 💯

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The Belt

Austin sat in the leather reading chair of his office. The room was a grand sanctuary adorned with movie posters memorabilia and mantled awards that attested to his successful acting career. The city skyline glimmered through the expansive window behind him contrasting sharply with his tensed demeanor.

He glared at you upon entering the room his fingertips pointed together on his lips, his hands were interlaced palms apart, and his elbows were firmly rested on the armrests.

He was in a pose of deep contemplation, his legs spread wide one tapping restlessly in agitation the only movement betraying his otherwise calm demeanor.

He looked immaculate wearing a sleeveless black tank top accentuating his muscular defined arms. His leather pants hugged snugly around his firm legs, the material molding to every curve and contour. A belt adorned his waist fastened with an ornate silver buckle that gleamed in the low lighting.

He was the definition of a sex god. His sandy brown hair tousled perfectly contrasting sharply with his furrowed brow. His blue eyes were intense and piercing as they bore into yours, making it impossible to look away.

You understood exactly why he summoned you to his office of your shared estate. A sense of apprehension filled the room as you awaited his response. You knew full well he was displeased with your recent behavior.

There was an unspoken dynamic in your marriage. The more he sought to control you, the stronger your desire to rebel, the tension between you two increasing drastically whenever he was away.

This time, when he returned from filming his latest movie, his absence once again fueled the familiar strain on your marriage and feeling neglected, you pushed back against his control upon his return. The intensifying conflict finally reaching its peak at one of his events.

During the extravagant cast party celebrating his latest film, you committed a cardinal sin: divulging intimate details about your marriage with him.

After a few drinks and meaningful conversation with his co star at the party you began to blabber about Austin over the loud music.

“He’s profoundly loving and handsome on one hand always making me feel special and adored.” You confided taking another sip of your drink before continuing. “But on the other hand, he has this intense need for control over me. When he isn’t obsessing over every detail of my life, he’s a total workaholic, letting ‘his craft’ overshadow everything he does and completely neglecting me.” You added downing the last of your drink. Even though your words are true, his co star gave you a concerned look, it didn’t sound like Austin at all.

Those words would come back to haunt you because if there was one thing Austin prided himself on, it was his reputation.

Word reached Austin swiftly due to it sounding so out of character. His co star only relaying to him.

“You might want to make sure your wife is okay, she mentioned something about feeling neglected and controlled?”

The remark ignited a fury inside of Austin. Though he didn't show it outwardly, he was seething inside. You had been behaving so well, and he was giving you everything you desired while he was away filming his newest film; your betrayal cut deep.

Now in his office as you stood in front of him the intensity of his gaze bore down on you, the tension in the air was thick. You knew from his clenched jaw and furrowed brow that he was deeply displeased. It was in the way his eyes narrowed, glinting with a mixture of disappointment and frustration.

You had seen this look before feeling the sting of his reprimands. It was a familiar pattern, one that left no room for doubt. As you stood there chest tight with anxiety, you braced yourself for the inevitable consequences of your disobedience.

"Well?" Austin demanded his voice ripping through the silence of the room. "Did you or did you not share personal information about me with my co star last night?" He inquired.

You took a deep breath before answering already feeling the depth of his dissatisfaction.

"Austin, I didn't say anything," you lied, your voice trembling slightly under his intense gaze as he glared at you from his chair.

Austin took a sharp inhale and sighed heavy with disappointment.

"As soon as I ask the one you told, it’s going to get back to me exactly what you said. It's better you tell me now, and I punish you, than I find out from the other person and punish you even harder." He relays as his eyes narrow awaiting your response.

Your breath catches in your throat from his intense gaze. You understand exactly what he means by ‘punish you harder.’ No matter what you know he wont be able to contain his temper for what you did. With your heart beating wildly, you nod in acknowledgment.

"Alright, Austin, I did say some personal things about you. I told your co star you were extremely controlling over me, a workaholic who when isnt obsessing over me, ignores me completely," as soon as the words leave your mouth, Austin's eyes burn with displeasure.

"Bend over my lap "he orders in agitation.

“Austin this is exactly what I mean by your control! You can’t discipline me like this I’m a grown woman!” You say firmly standing up for yourself for the first time wanting a more reasonable way to resolve the issue.

Austin remains stoic and places his hands calmly on the arm rests of his chair.

"Age has nothing to do with it, it’s about respect," he says with his tone resolute.

“You're my wife, I keep you safe, I feed you, I clothe you, I deeply care for you. Nothing you have is yours without me, and yet you disrespect me at a party hosted for my film? in front of my co stars ?" he questions, his voice rising in anger on each word.

After a contemplative pause he makes his decision.

"You’ll get your spankings with my hand for disrespecting me and then youll get the belt for lying to me about it."

Your heart drops

“Please Austin not the belt!” you beg, your legs almost give out knowing you’ll be sore for hours if not a full day.

“You brought this on yourself,” Austin replies sternly. “You need to understand the consequences of your actions.”

"Austin, I confessed!" you plead, your voice filled with desperation, hoping to reduce the punishment but It only enrages Austins and he erupts.

"But you lied first! You lied to me to cover your own ass because you knew what was coming. Now get over here and kneel," he snaps, and you hesitate. Your heart pounding loudly in your chest from the adrenaline.

“Don’t make me get up,” he says sternly, and by the tone in his voice you quickly come to kneel in front of him.

“Take off my belt,” he demands staring down at your kneeling form and you slowly reach to his waist, unclasping the buckle as you shudder at its thickness.

All you can think of is how painful it will be snapping across your ass as you pull its thick length through the loops of his pants.

As you work, your forearm brushes against his hardening cock. His pleasure is evident, he will become extremely harder as he spanks you. The power play of his dominance is too intoxicating.

Once the belt is free, you hold to up to him, but he pushes it back.

“You hold the belt this time while I’m spanking you so you know what’s next,” he says adding another layer to your apprehension.

You hope maybe he will soften his resolve if you apologize first this time.

"I'm sorry, Austin," you say quickly, your voice trailing off as you await his response.

"No you’re not sorry yet, but you will be.” He says eyes narrowing.

He firmly grabs your arm and swiftly pulls you across his lap. He positions you in a submissive posture over his knees, and you close your eyes bracing for the inevitable, as you hold his belt in your hands awaiting your punishment.

Austin rests his large hand on your skirt, rubbing it over the thin material as he speaks.

“You think you can get away with disrespecting and lying to me? You’ll learn your lesson tonight.” He pauses, letting the words sink in before continuing. “Now, let’s see how sorry you really are.”

He raises his hand and brings it down with a resounding swat on the back of your skirt. The force of the spank rocks you on his lap, but it doesn’t hurt.

He brings his hand down several more times, each spank forceful enough that you begin to feel the heat radiating from the impact. His cock pokes into your stomach with each strike in rhythm with the sound of the spanks echoing the room.

All you can think of is what is to come, how he will pull your skirt up and pull your panties down and the spankings will really begin.

As you feel Austin begin to peel your skirt up, you tense feeling the material slide up your thighs and over your panties, exposing your ass.

“You wanted to test my patience?” He says gripping and squeezing the soft skin of your ass with a seductive dominance.

“You’re about to find out exactly what happens when you push me too far.” He rasps and hooks his hand into the band of your panties sliding them down and revealing your pussy.

His cock pokes into your stomach at the sight.

“You’re fucking wet!” he confirms firmly grabbing your thighs pulling them apart.

“Mmm" you whimper from his rough handling. “Moaning too?" He questions. “Why are you so fucking wet this is a punishment?" He demands but you have no answer.

He spreads your ass cheeks apart, squeezing each one and exposing your pussy. Then he realizes he doesn’t just want to spank you anymore he wants to fuck you.

"I don't think spanking and using my belt is going to cut it this time.” he says sternly.

Your eyes grow wide as he firmly presses his large hand on your back holding you in place in his lap.

“What are you going to do Austin?" You ask panicked.

"You will have to wait and see. But for now I have a special punishment for my defiant little whore wife who gets wet from spankings."

Before you can protest Austin claps his hand hard on your bare ass cheeks in rapid succession intensifying each smack harder and faster until they are burning red. You begin to squirm in his lap with each sharp clap of your skin echoing in the room.

He alternates striking the bottom of one cheek to the other relentlessly harder on each pass until you begin to moan. Your skin starts tingling as you go numb from the pain. With each loud clap, you begin to grunt through gritted teeth, struggling to endure, your body tensing with each strike. Sensing your limits, Austin finally stops and rests his hand gently on your reddened skin.

“You’re handling these spankings like a pro” he says with a smirk playing on his lips. His touch becomes gentler and he moves his hand in slow deliberate circles over your reddened skin soothing the sting away.

Then he delivers a series of sporadic, loud resounding spanks, each one harder than the last, until you are struggling in his lap, groaning to endure.

“Austin …please” you beg through gasps. When he doesn’t stop at your limit your cries begin to mix with the sound of each impact, echoing through the room.

“Take it,” Austin growls low and commanding. “Feel every bit of it.” He continues. The intensity of each spank sends shock waves of pain and pleasure coursing through your body.

You gasp for air as your body constricts against him. Your muscles tighten with every spank until desperate breathy noises escape your mouth in a mix of agony and ecstasy.

Austin suddenly stops with his hand lingering on your reddened skin.

“You’ve had enough for now,” he reassures, allowing you a moment to catch your breath.

Your entire being feels consumed by the intensity of his spankings. The heat and stinging sensation radiates from the aftermath of his relentless discipline but you know it’s only the beginning.

As you hang over Austin’s lap holding his belt you want to reach back and rub your soreness but you know he won’t allow that he isn’t done with your punishment yet.

Austin’s touch transitions to soothing again as he rubs down your back and traces his hands along your inner thighs, his fingers are firm yet firm gentle against your skin.

When he grabs the tender flesh of your ass, you flinch and cry out from the pain and he swiftly gives you two sharp swats on it intensifying the pain making you cry out and squirm even more.

“Hold still,” he orders angrily as he holds you tightly in place. You realize he will spank you even more if you disobey.

His breathing is heavy as he releases you revealing his arousal in the moment as he forces you to endure him rubbing your sore cheeks. You remain perfectly still wincing as you bear through the pain.

His hand changes to moving down your thighs with deliberate slowness before his fingers brush against your soaked pussy and you softly moan overwhelmed with the sensation.

The contrast between the intense stinging of his spanks and the tender teasing touch of his fingers against your pussy leaves you breathless and craving for more.

"Why are you moaning? Do you like it when I touch you like this? " he asks.

“Yes Austin” you beg “please more” You say feeling the pleasure course through your entire body as he continues.

“What makes you think you deserve to have me touch you like this hm?” he asks, his tone low and commanding.

He wants you to face him and takes ahold of your waist forcing you to sit up in his lap. You wince in pain when your skin makes contact with the slick leather of his pants rubbing against your soreness. Once you settle he studies your face locking eyes with you.

“With that smart mouth” he says holding your jaw firm in his grasp “you’re lucky I touch you at all,” he chastises but his gaze is intense and seductive unable to hide his desire for you.

“Show me your pussy,” he commands, and you obey, opening your legs wide in his lap and leaning back to hold onto his knees for support. The erotic sight enraptures him entirely and you hope that means he is done with your spankings.

With a skillful movement you slowly release his belt from your hand allowing the leather to slide through your palm until the buckle softly thuds against the floor.

You feel a surge of excitement when he doesn’t notice.

“I can’t see your pussy that way,” he says, his voice low and commanding. “Show me your full pussy.”

Wanting to prove your obedience, you take one hand and spread your pussy lips open with two fingers giving Austin a clear view of your wet entrance.

Austin’s eyes are fixated as his large hand moves with a deliberate slowness grazing his fingertips along your sensitive folds.

The touch sends shivers through your entire body making you relax in his lap as his fingers slide through your slick folds tracing the outline of your wet entrance.

He slowly circles your clit with his thumb, applying just the right amount of pressure to make you gasp. Each touch is deliberate his thumb moving in slow tantalizing circles that send waves of pleasure radiating through you.

“You feel how wet you are for me?” he asks alternating between gentle strokes and firmer presses through your slick folds as he smirks at you.

“Y-yes, Austin,” you reply, your voice barely above a whisper, your breath hitching at his soft touch.

His fingers slide lower teasing your entrance before returning to your clit increasing the intensity.

“Tell me how good it feels.”he says low and seductive.

“Austin it feels so good” you relent. Every touch, every word drives you closer to the edge, your body responding eagerly to his skilled hands.

“I can feel you trembling” he says with a grin as your thighs involuntarily shudder. You’re getting close” he observes with a devious stare.

“…-Yes…” you pant, the sensation of his touch is almost too much to bear as your breath hitches with each delicate stroke.

You begin to arch into his touch and he abruptly removes his hand leaving you yearning for more.

"Austin . . . Please " your beg almost at tears.

“You’re even wetter than I thought.” he observes, seeing your glistening folds.

“These spankings are a reward for you, aren’t they?” He asks glaring up to meet your gaze, his eyes piercing yours with intensity.

“No! Of course not Austin!,” you protest in shock.

“Let’s see how wet you get from me spanking your pussy, then,” he says with a sadistic gleam in his eye. With deliberate precision, he begins delivering sharp swats onto your spread pussy as you hold it open.

“Oww, ow!” you cry with each swat as jolts of pain shoot through your sensitive clit. Tears begin to well up in your eyes as he increases the intensity.

“Please, Austin, it hurts so much,” you finally whimper, feeling like the punishment is going on forever.

He looks up into your pleading eyes, his expression softening slightly.

“You’ve been such a good girl for me taking your punishment,” he says with a mix of sternness and affection as he looks over your body. “Let’s see if I can make you feel better.”

Austin pulls your shirt up, exposing your chest. His fingers gliding along your supple skin, caressing your breasts gently until your nipples harden under his touch then he catches one between his fingertips and rolls it, eliciting a soft moan from you.

“Does that feel better?” he asks, his tone softer “Do you want more?” His eyes search yours, waiting for your response.

"Y-yes …Austin” you say barely above a whisper wanting him to give you more. You know you’re still being punished somehow but you are relieved he isn’t spanking you anymore.

“Please keep touching me softly like this Austin,” you beg tilting your head back and replacing your hand to his knee, surrendering to his touch. He catches your other nipple between his fingers rolling it gently before giving it a firm squeeze making you gasp.

He watches your reactions intently a smirk of satisfaction playing on his lips at how easily you give in knowing what he can do.

His hand gently cups your breast and he splays his fingers out to squeeze and knead the soft flesh. His thumb brushes over your nipple, sending a shiver down your spine as he teases the buds.

He leans in and brushes his lips against your other nipple. His warm breath fanning across your skin heightening your arousal to a peak.

He takes your nipple into his mouth sucking it gently at first, then with more intensity drawing it in deeper. His tongue swirls around the peak, flicking it teasingly before he sucks hard and his teeth graze the sensitive flesh just enough to send a jolt of pleasure through you.

He continues to cup your other breast, squeezing it firmly digging his fingers into your flesh. He rolls your nipple between his fingers pinching and pulling it harder causing you to gasp and arch your back pushing your chest closer to his mouth.

He moves his mouth back and forth between each breast, lavishing attention, gently sucking and flicking his tongue across each nipple, eliciting soft moans and gasps from your lips. Then he releases sucking your left nipple with a wet pop, focusing all his attention on the right one.

He sucks it deeply into his mouth, his tongue pressing and flicking against it as his hand continues to tease and squeeze your other breast.

The combination of sensations makes your head spin every touch and suck of his mouth sending waves of pleasure coursing through your core until you are practically dripping with arousal for him.

He gently releases your nipple, his lips glistening as he looks up at you, his eyes dark with desire.

“You like this, don’t you?” he asks low and seductive as he cups both of your breasts, squeezing them affectionately.

“You just want all my attention because I’ve spoiled you too much,” he reveals. Not waiting for your response he brings his lips over your breast again, capturing your nipple in his warm mouth, sucking and licking it with such intensity that you become breathless.

The urgency of his suckling, the heat of his mouth, and the way he teases your other breast is too much for your body to handle. Your moans and gasps begin to fill the room as you endure so much pleasure you cave in and orgasm your walls throbbing around nothing pushed to the edge and beyond.

He pulls back to study your condition. You are panting with your pupils blown wide and look of pure sexual bliss on your face. He knows you are reeling in the high of your orgasm completely forgetting you are being punished, and he smiles seductively before returning to his torturous routine.

He leans in and closes his lips over your nipple again, this time holding you tightly in place as he tugs on it with his nipping teeth.

“Ow, Austin!” you exclaim angrily and glare down at him. He abruptly stops and slaps you hard across your breast. “Stop whining,” he reprimands, and you stifle your cry, looking at him in shock.

Locking eyes with you as a warning, he moves to your other nipple, his lips parting slightly as he takes the bud between his teeth. With deliberate precision, he nips and tugs on your nipple with a piercing bite inflicting just enough pressure to elicit a tantalizing mix of pleasure and pain to course through your core before he releases it

“You think your punishment is over don’t you?” he asks, as you feel the radiating sting of his bite. You don’t react to it, knowing he will slap it harder.

"Where’s my belt ?" He asks commandingly

"No, no please Austin ," you plead.

“Baby… don’t make me ask twice,” he says with a threatening tone. You immediately lean back, feeling a surge of adrenaline, as you pick up his belt from the floor. You hold it tightly in your grasp presenting it to him ready to obey.

“Stand up,” Austin commands, and you rise on your feet, feeling the soreness from the spankings you just endured flood through you all at once.

He stands up from his chair, towering over you. His height is accentuated by the way he squares his shoulders making him appear even more imposing as he looks down at you.

“When you misbehave like this, it makes my dick painfully hard. Do you enjoy making me so hard that it’s painful?” he questions, a mix of frustration and desire in his tone.

Your gaze naturally drifts down his commanding figure, settling on the piercing, erect bulge straining against his leather pants. Feeling the intensity of his gaze, your eyes return to meet his.

“No, Austin.” You reply softly.

“Good because you made me this hard now you’re going to take care of it,” he commands, his voice firm and demanding.

He grips your shoulders tightly and forces you down on your knees. He steps closer with his cock inches from your face as he looks down on you with intent.

“Take me out,” he commands, and you obey placing the belt down on the floor. You reach up and unbutton his leather pants lowering down his zipper, the sound sending a shiver of anticipation through you.

As you reach inside, you feel the warmth of his hard erection and gently wrap your fingers around his thick shaft pulling his cock out from the confines of his pants, revealing his throbbing length in all its pulsating glory.

The sight of his impressive cock wrapped in your hand fully arouses you, sending a surge of desire through your body as you prepare to please him.

He guides you with a firm hand on the back of your head and you feel his control as his fingers tangle in your hair, pulling you closer to his erect cock.

“Take it deep,” he commands, his voice tense with desire. “Show me how much you want it.”

You look up to him as his large cock enters your mouth and fills you up stretching your lips around its girth. “That’s it, baby,” Austin groans, his voice husky with desire. “Take me all the way in.”

The sensation is overwhelming, the weight and heat of him pressing against your tongue with each glide in and out as you feel yourself succumbing to his rhythm. “That’s my good girl,” he praises, his words spurring you on.

Your tongue traces along his shaft as he moves, exploring every ridge and vein, and Austin groans in response as his hand grips into your hair harder “Don’t stop,” Austin urges, his voice thick with need.

The taste of him is intoxicating, and you feel the fullness of him as he thrusts deeper, filling your mouth completely on each movement. With every stroke, you feel yourself growing more aroused, the intensity of the moment building with each passing second.

“I’m so close baby….-keep going,” he says, his voice strained with arousal. He places both of his hands at the back of your head with his fingers tangling in your hair he begins bucking his hips thrusting into the back of your throat.

Each thrust becomes more deliberate, and you struggle to accommodate him, feeling the strain on your jaw stretching as the sensation pushes you to your limit. You finally gag as tears brim your eyes looking up at him through wet lashes, overwhelmed by the intensity of his thrusts.

“You take me so well, don’t stop,” he growls, his voice thick with desire. You try to relax your throat as your mouth works to bring him over the edge, but he’s too forceful, each movement becoming more demanding as you feel the strain on your jaw and throat with each intense penetration.

The tension is evident in the way you gasp for air between his movements. Your moans of discomfort come in short wet gurgles around his cock, unable to keep pace with his relentless rhythm.

You claw at his thighs and whimper around his thrusting cock. Despite your efforts, he doesn’t release his grip, his hold on you firm as he continues thrusting into your mouth, driving deeper into your throat.

“Just like that, keep going oh fuck,” he urges, his grip tightening. “Oh fuck…oh fuck! I’m gonna cum,” he rasps.

As he reaches the peak you hear his primal cries of release echoing in the air as he ejaculates, filling your mouth with his warm cum. On his final thrust you swallow every drop savoring the taste of him.

Spent and satisfied he makes small sounds of pleasure as he pants, slowly withdrawing his cock from your wet mouth.

He looks down at you while you kneel before him, a mix of exhaustion and contentment washing over his face. You feel utterly drained your eyes wet and your body trembling from the intensity of the encounter.

His gaze shifts to the belt lying beside you and he nods towards the leather strap wordlessly instructing you to pick it up.

“You were a good girl,” he praises, his voice low and husky. “But we’re not finished yet.

With a sense of apprehension, you reach for the belt and take it in your hands knowing that it signifies the next phase of your punishment

“Stand up,” he commands, offering his hand to guide you to your feet. You feel a mix of anticipation and apprehension as you grasp his hand and rise from the floor.

“We’re going to the bedroom,” he says, his tone leaving no room for argument. He tucks his cock away into his leather pants and takes your hand firmly in his, while you clutch the belt in the other, its weight a constant reminder of what’s to come.

He leads you up the stairs as you try to think of a way to avoid your fate. The hallway seems longer than usual and every step amplifies your anxiety. When you finally reach the end of the hall, he opens the door and pulls you into the master bedroom. As he closes the door behind you, the quiet click of the latch sends a shiver down your spine.His eyes are dark with intent he approaches.

“You know what’s coming next, don’t you?” he asks, his voice low and almost dangerous.

“Hand me the belt,” he demands and your hands tremble as you hold out the belt, your eyes pleading for any hint of leniency. The feeling inside of you a mix of fear and anticipation.

He takes the belt from you without a word, his gaze unwavering and stern. You feel a wave of anxiety wash over you, the room around you blurring slightly as your focus sharpens on him and the belt.

“Go on, get on your hands and knees,” he says, pointing to the bed with the belt. His voice is firm, leaving no room for hesitation.

You climb onto the bed, the soft sheets a stark contrast to the hard reality of the situation. Your heart pounds in your chest as you assume the position, hands and knees resting centered on the mattress.

The anticipation is almost unbearable as you wait for his next move knowing that whatever comes next it will be intense and unforgettable.

“Please, Austin, I’m sorry,” you beg as a finale cry hoping for an any sort of leniency.

“Do you understand why you’re being punished?” he asks, his voice a mix of frustration and authority as he collects the belt running it through his hand.

“Yes Austin,” you whisper, your voice barely audible.

“And you know it’s for your own good, don’t you?” he continues, his tone softening slightly as he slaps the belt in his palm.

Yes,” you reply struggling to contain your anxiety hearing the leather slap against his hand as he tests it.

“Good,” he says and you hear the faint sound of his zipper as he begins to strip naked. You peek over your shoulder, wondering why he hasn’t spanked you yet.

He climbs up behind you, his knees sinking into the bed, and you feel his hand roughly tugging your skirt up, making sure your red ass is fully exposed.

He raises his arm to bring down his thick belt across your exposed ass, but then he hesitates. Seeing your glistening pussy, he falters, deciding the spanking can wait. His cock is aching to be inside of you again.

“Look at you, dripping for me,” he mutters, his voice thick with desire.

“You think you can tease me like this and not face the consequences?” he rasps, pressing his hard cock against your entrance.

You feel a sense of relief wash over you when you hear the belt buckle hit the bed.“I-I’m sorry,” you say, fully aroused, feeling the heat of his tip pressing and slipping against your entrance

“Sorry isn’t enough,” he whispers, gripping your hips, enjoying the feel of your wetness covering his cock. “You’re going to take every inch of me first. Then we’ll see if you’re still sorry,” he says.

With that, he thrusts into you,and you moan as he fills you completely. His grip tightens as he sets a relentless pace, each movement sending waves of pleasure and pain through your body. The room fills with the sounds of skin slapping against skin, mingled with your gasps and his guttural groans.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he growls, his voice strained with pleasure. “You’re so tight, so perfect.”

Despite the initial shock, you quickly find yourself gasping in pleasure feeling the intensity of his desire. Your body starts responding eagerly to his every thrust. “Austin, oh God, don’t stop,” you manage to say between breaths.

He leans down, his breath hot against your ear. “I won’t stop until you’re begging for more,” he murmurs, his pace quickening, the sound of his hips slamming against you growing louder.

“Austin you feel so good,” you cry out your voice filled with lust.

His breathing becomes ragged as you match his rhythm, pushing back against him, desperate to satisfy him. The tension in the room mounts, every touch, every sound amplifying the connection between you.

With each powerful thrust, he collides his hips into yours, the intensity driving you over the edge. “Austin, I’m going to cum,” you say, your voice filled with ecstasy.

He groans in response, his own pleasure evident in the primal sounds escaping his lips. “Don’t cum yet …-you need to…-learn your lesson ” he urges, his voice husky with desire.

He pulls you up to him, his hand wrapping around your neck with just enough pressure to make you gasp. Your breath catches in your throat as waves of pleasure wash over you.

“You ever going to disrespect me in front of my friends again?” he demands, his voice low and intense.

“No, Austin,” you promise your voice trembling with arousal. His grip tightens slightly, sending a shiver down your spine as he thrusts harder.

"What about lying to me?” he asks with authority.

"I won’t lie to you! Austin I promise!” you cry out obeying his every word as his hips clap against you.

"Good girl.” He says bringing his other hand down spreading your pussy lips wide and rubbing around your clit.

"MMMM Yes !" You cry out feeling like it’s a reward from his punishment.

"Do you like this, baby?" he asks, rubbing a little harder.

"Yes Austin! Please more!" you beg and he slows his thrusts focusing his attention on your aching clit.

“Good,” he growls, his lips brushing against your ear. “I like when you’re a good girl for me you’re going to take every bit of pleasure I give you.” He says as his fingers continue to work your clit, each movement sending sparks of ecstasy through your body.

You moan loudly, the sound reverberating his hand around your throat. He leans in, his breath hot against your skin as he whispers, “I want to feel you cum for me now.”

You are unable to form words, completely lost in the sensations he’s creating as he sets a relentless pace slamming his cock deep within your throbbing walls. His touch becomes more insistent, his fingers moving faster on your clit as he brings you closer to the edge. The rhythmic clapping of his hips against yours fills the room as your breaths come in short, desperate gasps, mingling with his groans of satisfaction.

“Oh fuck Austin” you moan out feeling dizzy from so much pleasure coursing your entire body at once.

“That’s it,” he murmurs, his voice filled with desire. “Let go for me. Show me how much you need this.”

He chokes you, and it cuts off your moans as he pounds into you. With a final fluttering of your walls on his cock, your body trembles as you reach the peak of your pleasure and you orgasm. Austin’s grip on your throat loosens and he watches you with a satisfied smile as you fall apart.

“That’s it, baby. Let it all go,” he whispers, his voice husky with satisfaction feeling your walls flutter on him with each thrust.

He holds you in his arms, pulling you close as your body endures wave after wave of intense pleasure until you go limp against him trembling and moaning.

“You came so well or me,” he whispers in your ear.

You pulse around his cock as he nears his climax and his movements becoming erratic, his sounds more primal. “I can’t hold back…” he gasps feeling the surge of your arousal.

With a final, shuddering thrust, he reaches his peak, his cries of release filling the room as he orgasms, his cock pulsing rope after rope of cum into you as he holds you steady breathing heavily.

As you both catch your breaths the intensity of the moment begins to fade and he withdraws from you slowly, his movements gentle yet deliberate.

“Come here,” he murmurs, his voice husky with satisfaction as he pulls you down on the bed with him and wraps his arms around you. “You were amazing,” he whispers, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.

After a moment he gently strokes your hair, his eyes softened with satisfaction. “You really do satisfy me,” he admits, brushing his hand along your jaw. “Even when you rebel like this and I have to punish you.” He grins his pleasure evident that he’s regained control.

He kisses you deeply as his earlier anger melts away. “I love you,” he whispers against your lips.

“I love you too Austin” you confess feeling complete.

He holds your jaw firm locking eyes with you “But don’t think I won’t punish you if you misbehave again.” He finalizes.

You nod in agreement as his words linger in the air, both a promise and a warning as he pulls you into a tender embrace.

Deep down, you revel in testing the limits of his control, feeling his passion, his desire, and his unwavering commitment to you. In those moments, you feel exhilarated beyond compare.

It’s a thrilling exchange of his controlling power and your submission of rebelliousness that reinforces the dynamics of your relationship. His punishments make you feel alive and deeply connected to him in a way that nothing else can.

⛓️‍💥 End ⛓️‍💥

🏷️ Always Tag Me List 💌

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[luffysinterlude]

★ LATE NIGHT CONVERSATIONS. . .

summary: in which zoro convinces you to see yourself from his point of view.

warnings: named fem!reader/oc, reader has suicidal thoughts (not too explicit, yet not very subtle), cursing, zoro may be ooc, angst/comfort

word count: 2K+ // slightly edited

an (1): this fic started when i got drunk and wanted to read angst. i revised it so many times and i’m still somewhat unsatisfied (hence the rushed ending) but i really love this oc i created and hope i get to write about her more :3 been feeling a lil sad bc i turned 21 and i’m still somewhat stuck in my life and uuuugh. just need zoro so bad..anyway…I’ll probably do an oc introduction next :p

ZORO thinks you’re the prettiest person in existence. He wishes he could give you his eyes so you could see yourself from his point of view. He watches you as you sit next to Robin: a blanket wrapped around your body, your head leaning on her shoulder as you listen to the conversation she’s having with Franky.

Tonight, something’s different. You don’t have the usual gleam in your eye nor does your laugh echo throughout the Sunny. Instead, your eyes are red and swollen, and you’re quieter than usual — only speaking when you’re spoken to. Your eyes meet Zoro’s for a split second, and understanding flashes in his gaze as he realizes why you’ve been so distant.

You ignore the swordsman’s curious eye, trying to be more interested in the conversation Robin and Franky are having; something about poneglyphs, but you wouldn’t be too sure because your thoughts are louder than their voices, making it hard to focus.

Tonight, everything hits you at once: your past, the present, and the what-ifs. The future remains a distant concept, with its many possible outcomes holding you back.

You think these thoughts that cloud your brain are nothing but selfish. A burning desire of yours is to quietly slip away and let your soul be free from this body and place.

You love the Straw Hats, your captain, and your crewmates. You love the sea and exploring new islands. With every stop, you hope to learn something new to distract yourself from the small part of you that wishes you weren't alive.

But every now and then, it hits you. And you feel like you’re nothing but a waste of space.

Before you realize it, Zoro’s standing next to you, offering his hand. You know the blend of sympathy, disappointment, and sadness on his face. With a deep breath and a small smile to the rest of the crew, you accept it, allowing him to pull your body up and lead you down the corridor.

+x+

Roronoa Zoro, pirate hunter turned pirate, was someone you held close to your heart. He was your closest friend, your anchor in times of darkness, and your lover.

He took care of you, even in your absence; he told you that you look out for everyone else that you tend to forget to take care of yourself.

When the crew split up and you had decided to go to Whole Cake Island, Zoro made sure Franky had sent you off with two transponder snails so he could check in on you. He’s still unsure of what happened on the island of sweets, but after your reunion with the rest of the crew he’s noticed the light in your eye had become darker.

He leads you to his room, opening the door for you and placing his swords by the entrance. You take a seat on his bed, a change from your usual behavior of lying down. Your thoughts crowd your mind again as the atmosphere around you grows quieter.

You’re not doing enough. Luffy doesn’t need you, nor do the others; you believe you’re just extra weight they carry because you’re his sister.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” You feel the mattress dip as Zoro occupies the space next to you, his body radiating warmth your way. He’s laying down, arms rested behind his head, eyes closed. You stare at the man next to you, taking in his form; despite the number of times he’s smiled in the face of death, scars and stitches scattering his body, you still think he’s the most handsome man on this earth.

“Just been…thinking,” you start. “About everything that’s happened up until now.”

Zoro hums to let you know that he’s listening, a cue for you to continue.

“Nobody on the crew knows this, not even Luffy, but I was there at Marineford.”

This makes Zoro’s eye shoot open, a look of surprise painting his face. As bad as it sounds, he isn’t too interested in learning about where the crew spent the last two years, he’s just glad they all made it back together alive. He knows that you spent time mastering your Haki with your childhood teacher, but that’s all you’ve let the crew know about.

“Grandpa snuck me in disguised as a marine — I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone if I was able to leave quietly. I wanted to see Ace one last time, and he granted me that because he owed me one for keeping an eye on Luffy when we were younger.

I was able to visit his holding cell, and the sight of him…it felt as if I was being punished. Ace was the one person who understood me and how I tend to feel, the one person I shared so much in common with. He was able to find bits and pieces of himself again thanks to the light that shines through Luffy, and when he left us I promised that I’d try and keep him safe despite the distance between us, and hopefully find myself through our crybaby brother as well.”

You’re smiling fondly at the distant memories of you and your brothers, ones that you wished were photographed so you could have physical proof of those events taking place; so even when you’re old and senile you’ll be able to remember them happening.

“Tell me more,” Zoro says. He eyes the spot next to him, and you position yourself to lay there. He allows you to remove his left arm from behind his head to use as a pillow. “Were you safe, at least?”

Of course not. You were infiltrating the World Government, and if you made a tiny mistake, you would’ve been right next to Ace on the execution platform.

“I was — you know I wouldn’t do anything impulsively, unlike some people.” You giggle, remembering the moment Luffy fell from the sky, in the middle of the battlefield. “I ended up being able to sneak away because of him. I found Trafalgar’s submarine and hopped on board and waited…and I can’t help but think that was my biggest mistake, leaving Luffy alone. It’s a heavy guilt that I’ve been carrying.”

Zoro ponders for a moment; it isn’t your weight to carry, he wants to say. Luffy went to Marineford on his own accord, and not every ending is a happy one. He’s also curious about how you were able to find the surgeon and his crew, but that’s something he’ll ask about another time.

“And when I felt Shanks’ presence nearby, I asked Law to take me to his ship — which he declined, of course — so I got off and swam there instead. The waters were surprisingly calm, so don’t panic, I’m sure Jinbe wouldn’t have let me get eaten up,” you confess to him, reassuring him that you were safe every step of the way.

You stare at the left side of his face, your arms wrapped around his body as if he was a teddy bear. The blanket you had previously wrapped around your body now covered parts of his, his arm cuddling you close as if you’d ever slip away.

“How’d it go with the redhead?” Zoro asks. His eyes are still closed but you know he’s interested in knowing; asking questions is somewhat his way of begging to know more. He isn’t as stoic as he thinks he is, at least not towards you.

“It was good seeing Shanks again. He was heading to Marineford to end the war, and allowed me to stay and hide with him until Luffy made the decision to reunite in two years. He’s actually the one who took me to my childhood teacher; it took about three weeks after burying Ace and Whitebeard to get there.”

Zoro’s curious about how you handled Ace’s burial, but again, that’s something he’ll ask about another time.

“They asked about us. It was different being the one to share experiences about life on the sea; but it was refreshing and fun…I told them all about the crazy stuff we went through, and they let me know about the reputation we’ve built for ourselves. It’s actually kind of cool how many people know of us, but also scary at the same time. It really opened my eyes though; it was probably the first time in a long time that I…” you trail off, repositioning your head to be more comfortable, the hand that lay on Zoro’s chest now tracing lines as you daze off. Sensing that he’s lost you, he opens his eye and nudges you lightly.

“I felt like I had a life purpose again. Gaining the knowledge that a lot of people had their eyes set on us as a team, it made me realize the responsibility I hold. The promises I made to both Ace and Sabo, the ones I made to you and the rest of us, and the promise I made to myself as a child — my ultimate dream: to live a long, fulfilled life.”

“Even though I felt great and motivated after that and even now, the thoughts still linger around. The what-ifs: what if I stayed and attempted to save Ace alongside Luffy? What if I got caught by the Marines? What if the five of you never found me in Loguetown?

It’s a never-ending battle, and I’m getting more tired of myself with every passing day. It’s the reason why even now I exhaust myself mentally and physically, just to escape my thoughts. I guess there must be something happening with the planets for me to experience these feelings right now,” your tone is light, almost playful, yet your words place a heavy weight on him.

You let out a sharp sigh, suddenly turning on your back and staring at the wooden ceiling. You release your Haki to see what the rest of the crew is up to, noticing that some of them have already gone to bed. The only other people awake at the moment are Luffy, Sanji, and Jinbe — sharing a late night snack and a hushed conversation.

“You’re stronger and more resilient than you think,” Zoro states. “As a matter of fact, you’re probably the strongest person I know, both physically and mentally.

You’ve faced nothing but obstacles your entire life, and it makes me wish I had known you when we were younger. You and Kuina would’ve been great friends.” The mention of your lover’s childhood friend makes you smile. He’s only ever confided in you about his upbringing, and you pray to the heavens, hoping that Kuina herself hears you ask for his protection. “I admire you so much.”

And it’s true: Zoro envies how strong you are. He wishes he had unlocked Haki at a young age. He wishes he was as smart as you. There are so many things Zoro admires about you, and he wishes he knew the words to voice it.

“I’m not great with words.” You giggle at his self-awareness but let the laughter die down as he rolls his eye playfully. “But you deserve to be here — alive — regardless of where you came from, what powers and knowledge you possess, and what happened when you were a child. I’ve watched you grow into the person you are today, and it’s been a privilege.

Sometimes, it feels as if I was a saint in my past life to experience this: the open ocean, the different people and places, and you. However you see yourself isn’t how anyone else views you. Chopper looks up to you as a guardian — and despite the small age difference, I’m sure our knucklehead captain does too. Nami, Robin, Usopp, and Franky see you as their sister. I’m sure I heard Jinbe speaking of you like a daughter, and as for the annoying waiter we call a cook, he practically worships the ground you walk on. The skeleton praised you constantly, so I’m not sure how you don’t see the admiration everyone has for you.

You’ve become one of my biggest inspirations. I’ll probably never be in the mood to admit this again, so make sure you’re listening.” He suddenly sits up and rests against the headboard, your movements copying his as he interlocks your hands with his.

He meets your gaze, and you feel like you fall in love with him all over again. He’s looking at you with pure adoration, as if he’s trying to engrave your face into his memory.

Even with tear stains running down your cheeks and puffy eyes, you’re still the prettiest person to exist. Everything about you is perfect, and a demon like me doesn’t even deserve to be in your presence, Zoro thinks.

“The time we spent apart, I took some time to think about our adventures as a crew. I’m not sure if I subconsciously did it because it was a strange feeling being away from you all, or if it was because Perona kept asking too many questions.

After explaining how the ten of us all became a crew, she pointed out that I mentioned you a lot. I didn’t think so at the time, but I guess it’s just something that feels natural to me. What I’m trying to say is…

“I love you. You know this already, but I know sometimes it feels nice to have a verbal reminder. I’m in love with you, and I know I’ll always be. And I’ll help you fight your battles, even when you ask me to give you space. I’ll do anything you want me to, just promise me you’ll let me be there for you. You — in such a short amount of time — have become my greatest weakness.

It hurts when you push yourself away from everyone else, especially me. I know you don’t want to feel like a burden, but you’ll never be one; to me, or the others. Especially to Luffy. Whether you decide to tell him you were there to see Ace, is up to you. I’m positive he won’t react the way you think he would. You’ve always taken on way more than what we ask of you, and applying more pressure to yourself isn’t going to make us look at you any differently. You’re appreciated for all that you do, and will always be.

The only thing I’m asking of you is to take the time and make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Physical battles already take a toll on all of us, and we can always help each other out, but the mental ones we face can only be taken on by ourselves. Even I find it hard to deal with it. But then I’m grounded by remembering the fact that I was put here on this Earth for a reason — everyone was.”

Your jaw is hung open at Zoro’s words; yes, he saves sweet talk for you and you only, but this was an entirely different and unexpected side of him.

You want to cry. You want to kiss him. You want to take all of his pain away and give it to the officials in the World Government. You want to cradle his face in your chest and kiss his cheeks and tell him sweet nothings; yet as you process his words, you sit there in silence.

I’m grounded by remembering the fact that I was put here on this Earth for a reason — everyone was.

Similar to the last words spoken to you by your beloved brother Ace, you feel tears slip out of your eyes and suddenly you’re trapping Zoro in your arms.

“Thank you, Zo.”

The whisper reaches him, and he relaxes comfortably in your embrace. He buries his head in the crook of your shoulder, his arms wrapped around your torso. Even though it took a lot of guts to be that vulnerable, his chest feels lighter. With a soft kiss pressed to the top of his head, you return the words back to him.

“I love you so much. Thank you for always being there for me. You’re truly one of my anchors in this life.”

+x+

You wake up the next morning alone in bed. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, except this time a note sits on Zoro’s nightstand.

Woke up to Nami banging on the door. Kind of surprised it didn’t wake you up either. Anyway, we’re docked now and Luffy dragged me out with him to explore. The stupid cook and Robin are still here on the ship, so I asked them to ring me when you wake up. If you decide to leave the ship, come find me. If not, then rest and I’ll come back to you later. Love you, Zoro.

You smile at the sloppy handwriting, your mind quickly flashing to last night’s conversation between the two of you. You sit and think about it and come to the conclusion that you no longer doubt yourself. You feel as light as a feather, hopping out of bed and changing into a new outfit for the day. You’re assuming your lover had taken it upon himself to change you, not remembering when you had put your sleeping clothes on.

You waltz into the kitchen, greeted with heart eyes and the smell of coffee.

“Good morning to you, Athena. We’ve been waiting for you to wake up, Sanji’s desperately wanting to go pick some things up. Are you feeling better now? Zoro said you were feeling under the weather this morning.” Robin’s gentle voice distracts you from worrying about the amount of blood spilling from Sanji’s nose, a soft smile on her face as you greet her back.

“Good morning! I feel much better now, like I can do anything.” You smile. Sanji’s serving you a plate of breakfast as you sit across from the archaeologist. You start to eat, trying to peek at the newspaper she’s holding in her hand. The headline makes you choke on your food.

“WHAT THE HELL? LUFFY’S AN EMPEROR NOW?!”

Your voice is loud enough that Sanji and Robin are sure the entire island could hear it. Before Sanji’s able to fill you in on what was discussed after you and Zoro went to bed, your shrieks were heard throughout the Sunny.

“WHAAAAAAT?! MY BOUNTY’S AT TEN DIGITS NOW?!”

“Well, you and Zoro missed a lot last night. We’re happy to know that you’re feeling better now though!” Robin says, a closed-eye smile sent your way.

You’re in a state of shock: reading the article that was released less than twenty four hours ago, and you hear Sanji’s tongue click.

“Maybe we should take Athena-swan to Chopper for medicine,” Eyes wide and jaw hung, you nod your head. “And probably look for the embarrassment you call your boyfriend.”

With that, you shove Sanji away from you, standing up quickly and taking hold of Robin’s hand. You grab your bag and walk off the ship with the two of them next to you, feeling thousands times better than last night.

Zoro, you say in your mind. Please don’t be lost. Eh — it’s been hours since they left. He’s definitely lost.

With a new sense of confidence and optimism, you hold your head high and continue your journey in making this a life worth living.

+x+

an (2): ahhhh yes!! athena (reader) is luffy’s sister…i have her while character outline already written. i kinda hate the ending but i also didn’t want to stay stuck on this lil story for too long…but i do want to write more abt our lovely athena and the life she’s willing to live <3

please do leave feedback! it helps me improve :) especially since i’m still learning & getting back into it!!

[foursaints]

the rosekiller fix-it au

the dementor’s kiss can function as a really interesting form of absolution, i think. being soulless isn’t so terrible a punishment, in a world where souls can be split and shared between people.

that’s why i’m so interested in an evan lives!AU. because evan would make a horcrux out of the empty shell left of barty

of the dementor’s kiss, lupin says: “You can exist without your soul, you know, as long as your brain and heart are still working. But you'll have no sense of self anymore, no memory, no...anything.”

it’s interesting that the brain & heart are unaffected, because it raises so many questions of what the soul actually IS. barty’s existence was pretty soulless already. a boy brought up under imperius, always in service to something else. his brain was often all that mattered.

they didn’t send him back to azkaban. i think he was left in the spell damage ward of st. mungo’s, mutely accepting gum wrappers from alice & frank longbottom, not remembering what he ever did to them, just receiving their kindness.

we don’t know what the effects of the kiss look like outside the walls of azkaban, where the inhabitants are catatonic already. barty’s fate is a big question mark: what does it mean to eat & sleep & think & hear & feel, with no soul? for one thing, i think it makes him a squib. i think he can’t joke, anymore. or dream.

but then: evan rosier is a healer. a strange, dark kind. HE knows what catatonic brain damage looks like, he knows it’s not this, barty otherwise left intact. he has always wanted to make an experiment out of him anyway.

evan rosier is a dark wizard. a death eater. he would already be capable of making something as “evil” as a horcrux, but i’m curious at the idea of a horcrux made for love’s sake.

and evan rosier is a twin. he and pandora were about as close to sharing one soul as two people could be. what i’m saying is that if he split his in half, he would be used to the feeling.

i want their helpless post-war domesticity. i want evan, who lost everything, reading the prophet article on barty’s kiss, who lost more. i want evan suppressing every memory, every feeling, every ghost of his lover, to try and be a scientist again. to tend after barty’s shell. i want evan going to riddle house, grimmauld place, looking for clues. realizing a horcrux has been made of a person already.

i want barty’s second chance at a life. i want the husk of barty, wiped clean, who has only ever known the inside of st. mungo’s and evan’s care. what a meager scrap of a soul he had. what an unsatisfying meal it must have been, for that dementor. isn’t this better? he knows very little, but his terrible cleverness is still there with his brain. he knows that evan is the only other person he’s ever met who has the same tattoo on his left forearm

i want evan killing something so good & innocent that it splits his soul in half. i want him still falling in love with the shell of barty, again, this different barty, and grappling with giving him his soul, wondering if it will change him. he doesn’t even want to lose THIS barty, while he’s tortured by memories of the last one. i want them sharing two broken halves of a soul: neither of them can get into the afterlife now, but it’s okay. they can live out their lives, together.

and there is always the sharon olds poem: “So what if he had no soul / I knew him soulless all my childhood”

[gffa]

TALES OF THE EMPIRE wound up being a mixed bag for me, there was a lot I enjoyed but there was a lot that just felt really unfulfilled. Morgan's episodes were very pretty to look at but I couldn't help thinking--the entire time I was watching, even--that Filoni's not great at creating new characters that can carry entire episodes like this, none of this felt particularly necessary or like it was fulfilling a void that I wanted to know more about. It doesn't help that I still think her arc in live action was badly handled, that if she was meant to be a Nightsister from the beginning, her first episode should have dealt with that, instead of springing it on us later, so when filling in the background of her on Dathomir in TOTE, it brings all that up for me again.

Morgan's first episode was so pretty and it was interesting to potentially get more Dathomir lore (even if it's incredibly thin and I felt it was too close to the "we see others suffering in the galaxy, but we don't want to get our own hands dirty by fighting for other people or getting involved in helping others, btw we're morally better for that :)" trope for me personally) but everything on Corvus just felt superfluous to me and I spent time trying to figure out why I felt that way. If they had done her story this way or that way, would I have enjoyed it more? If they had included this or that, would I have thought it more necessary?

And ultimately I just kept coming back to that I don't really care about Morgan Elsbeth enough that I wanted three animated shorts dedicated to her, when I could have had so many other characters get fleshed out better. I appreciated that they were showing two characters on opposite journeys, that Morgan was falling into the dark step by step, while Barriss was slowly clawing her way out of it, but that's about all that I appreciated of Morgan's story (other than the beautiful animation).

But I'm not sure I feel like Morgan's motivations were all that well planned out. It's clear that she's looking for revenge and trying to find a new family at the same time, but it's not really clear why she's working with the Empire or how she thinks this leads her to her goals. Grievous is the one who murdered her village, how does working with the Empire (as the Separatists were folded into the Empire, too) achieve that goal? Who or what is her revenge focused on? Is it that she just wants the whole galaxy to burn, because if her village burned, so should everyone else? I feel like that's probably what they were going for, but that it could have been more coherently written.

Barriss' episodes hit a lot harder, where I'm glad that she at least got an arc, but I feel like it just missed so many marks, like why even have Vader there, I'm all for gratuitous Anakin cameos, he's my trash can man and I'm always excited to see him, but absolutely nothing was done with him, despite that he was looking Barriss right in the face there. Not even a moment of showing the audience, "Oh, his soul is so far into the dark of fear, hate, and rage that he doesn't even care about her anymore." Just nothing there, like there was no connection at all. How do you go to the lengths of putting Vader in a scene with Barriss and then treat it like there's no history between her and Anakin??? So completely unsatisfying!

And then it's another series where other guest appearances would have made sense--Barriss has a whole unfinished story with Ahsoka and you don't include her here? I'm as tired of Filoni putting Ahsoka in everything as anyone else, but here it would have made sense and would have brought that relationship full circle on-screen, Barriss' betrayal of her and her clawing her way back to the light after all the trauma and hurt, there's so much she and Ahsoka would have between them. And then nothing.

Or Barriss' relationship with Luminara, TCW never really got into how that must have felt for Luminara, to have her student betray the Jedi so profoundly, for her to fall to the dark, there's such a well of potential there and it's just entirely ignored. She mentions Luminara once and it was a lovely mention, but there's no sense of resolution or completion to that arc.

I did enjoy her story with Lyn and I try not to compare what the show wanted to do with what I wanted the show to do, but I couldn't help it. During all those scenes, all I could think was that this could have been so much more powerful and complete if it had focus on Barriss' established relationships and characters I already care about, because a new random Inquisitor is just not going to hold the same weight for me as my pre-investment in Ahsoka and Luminara. (On the other hand, with the way they butchered Luminara in the last season of TCW, maybe I dodged a bullet!)

For all that negativity, though, I really loved that Barriss found herself in being a healer again, that she found the light again. That's all I've wanted for my girl!!!! (That and put a headdress on her, ffs.) I legitimately took in a hard breath when she said, "Then you have one more Jedi to deal with." because Barriss is still working through too much to fully come back to clarity re: the Jedi at that point , but when it really came down to it, when she really saw what the dark side really was, part of her still was a Jedi. And the way she spoke of her time as a Jedi, once she had a clearer, lighter head again, was sweet, I was so surprised that we got that much from her, but I'm so glad because, if nothing else, Barriss herself deserves to be in the light again.

The way she was settled into her own skin by the time she confronted Lyn on the icy planet, the way she genuinely wanted to help her, but wouldn't let her hurt innocent children, the way she could sidestep Lyn's predictable moves and could stop the blade with just a hand held out, she found her path and what she wanted to do, and oh it was so lovely to see Barriss finding herself again. I loved so much that her unshakable compassion did reach Lyn, it was such a satisfying arc for Barriss to reach that place after all the people she'd hurt. I loved so much that Barriss getting back to this place does a lot to remind us that her foundation is a compassionate one, even if she was lost to the dark for awhile.

I just wish that there had been acknowledgement of those she hurt, the people that died because of her, the betrayal she stabbed people in the back with, rather than just "sees the dark side is bad, walks away, finds the light again", which goes back to that this feels like a generic story that's mostly impactful because I'm filling in the gaps myself because I already know Barriss as a character, rather than that it continues the story that was previously told about her.

At the end of the day, I enjoyed it and I recognize that I'm being a little unfair in how I'm saying I wanted this, this, and this, rather than digesting what the show itself wanted to do, but when you're crafting two stories that are specifically about showing us the journey of two characters that originate elsewhere, you're drawing on the stories from those other origins--except TOTE decided to only halfway do that. There's a lot to love in these shorts, the animation was incredible, the voice work was incredible, Barriss' emotional journey was incredible and I'm so thankful that they even gave her any kind of compassionate resolution. But the specter of how much the shorts ignored hangs over it too heavily for me to say that they were anywhere near what they could have been imo.

[reddesires]

Hiii, I would like to start by telling you that the way you write is really good!!! 💗 I really appreciate the hard work you put into each of your writings thank you for all of your work🫶🏻. Now I came here te speak up for my Caesar girlies ( including myself🤗)we need ( or at least I NEED) some NSFW alphabet head cannons!!!

Caesar NSFW Alphabet

[Caesar x Human!Reader]

A/N: hehe 🤭 writing for Caesar always got me giggling and kicking my feet. Thank you so much for the support. It means the world to me! And I want to thank everyone who has been my avid supporters. You're the reason why I'm motivated to keep writing ❤️ love you guys

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Caesar is definitely a gentleman when it comes to Aftercare. He'll soothingly rub your aches if the sex was too rough and bring you sustenance. you can tell he's a big softie when it comes to your needs, you are his mate and he'll do anything to make sure your comfortable and satisfied in every way (if you know what i mean 🤭)

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part of his is hands, he likes the way you crumble when he has his hands on your body, when his fingers are inside of you and your struggling to contain your moans make him go wild. He's definitely a boobie guy. He likes watching the way your boobs bounce with every thrust of his hips and how malleable they feel in his hands. You are absolutely perfect.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Yeah, he's a breeder LOL he's gonna cum inside of you every chance he gets, I mean it's innate for him so he can't really help it plus he likes to watch the way his seed drips out of you. The thought of you carrying his child really gets him going.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

There is times when he goes hunting and you will be ovulating at the time and your smell really gets to him so when he has time away from the others during the hunt, he'll masturbate just so he won't be distracted by your scent.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

At first, not so much, he's never been with a human before, but he's a fast learner, and it'll seem like he always knew. He'll know how to fuck you in all the right ways, you'll never leave the nest unsatisfied, he knows everything there is to know about your body.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Missionary, he likes watching the expressions you make while he pounds into you, how you wrap your legs around his tapered waist. He also likes watching how your boobs bounce.

If he's really in the mood, your on all fours and he's fucking you nice and hard just so he could really hear your moans echo throughout the nest and if you beg him enough he'll pull your hair if you want it rough (you obviously taught him that one)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Not all honestly, Caesar is very down to business when it comes to fucking you. Mating with him is usually sensual or rough, it really depends on his mood but either way your totally down for it (I mean who wouldn't he's fucking hot)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's an ape. He's got hair all over LOL

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Caesar can be stoic but he definitely has a romantic side to him, he has his moments where he'll show you how much he adores you, you are after his chosen mate and he cares for you very deeply. All you have to do is ask, and he'll be gentle with you all night long if he has to.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Caesar is the kind where he'll keep it on the downlow when he's jacking off but he's totally not above masterbating when he thinks of you and your not there to satisfy him but you can bet you'll be getting dicked down when you do come back.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Breeding Kink - Like I said before, he likes to cum into you whenever he gets the chance, it's only natural to him plus it feel so damn good. The thought of you carrying his children only encourages this Kink.

Mutual masturbation - He'll watch as you touch yourself basically torturing the both of you as he jacks off himself, it'll go on until finally he snaps and absolutely fucks you into elated delirium.

Hair Pulling - When you first suggested it, he was hesitant since he didn't want to hurt you in any way but when he finally gave in and tried it, it seemed like it awoke something in him and now you don't even need to ask twice.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He'll do it anywhere, he doesnt care if your nowhere near the nest, he'll fuck you in the forest, behind the horse stables, behind some random tree for all he cares, your gonna get that dick regardless.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your scent could pretty much gets him going, especially when you're ovulating it makes him go pretty much feral. He'll be in your personal space not even caring that the others are staring at his blatant display of affection as he's burying his face in your hair and you embarrassedly try to ignore the eyes watching you two.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Anything that could hurt you, he refuses to inflict any type of pain that isn't enjoyable onto you. Also, nothing involving bodily excrement. He's just sophisticated like that.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers to giving, he'll eat your pussy like he pro, he just knows how to work his tongue. He loves the taste of you and to edge you to your limit, the grip you have to fur on his head and the cage your legs illude to drives him crazy.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Depends on his mood. If he's stressed from his duties as the ape king, the tension catching up to him and needing an outlet, he'll fuck you fast and rough with all intention of leaving you a panting and sore mess.

If you tease him to his limit, then expect to be bent over wherever you two are. He'll show you what happens when you test him.

But there is also times where he's slow and sensual, when you are in need of a sturdy and loving sex session or when he feels like you really deserved to be worshipped by him as your chosen mate.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He isn't too big on Quickies, he enjoys taking his time with it but he isn't opposed to it when there's little time to indulge and you insist on it, he's weak when it comes to you seducing him after all you are his mate and he thinks your sexy as hell.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Yeah, he is. He's open to doing whatever your willing to teach him, afterall he enjoys pleasing you and he enjoys learning new ways to make you hot and bothered.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

At first he didn't last long but overtime he built up the stamina just so sex was more pleasurable for you, since your a human and it takes more time for you to cum he wanted to take that into account so you enjoyed it as much as he did.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

No, unfortunately since the decline of the human population that also means the disappearance of toys to try out 😪 but you'll always have the hands and magical tongue of Caesar.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He'll have his moments where he'll tease the hell out of you, he's very smug and coy about it.

I mean he does enjoy to deny the two of you of touching each other until it's almost tortuous so he's down to tease you just cause.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's not really loud himself, grunting and low sounds of pleasure escaping him at most besides it's hot to hear him lose himself while he's inside of you right into your ear.

Now you are a whole other story, he better hear your moans for all to hear, he doesn't give a fuck what they think afterall he is too deep inside of you to even care.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He does enjoy pushing your panties to the side and fucking you that way, for some reason he just finds it incredibly sexy. He especially loves it when you two are outside of the nest, your panties are definitely being pulled to the side.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's about average, 4-5 inches, but he serves girth! Baby! And you'll most definitely be feeling him in all the right ways since he knows how to dick you down just right.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He gives you about 3 rounds, but there's always too much of a good thing, so the minimum is a good 3 rounds. But if we're talking Oral wise, yeah, he can go as long as you can take it.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He waits for you to fall asleep. He enjoys watching your sleeping face. He, in general, always watches you fall asleep in his arms, gently soothing the skin on your cheek admiring his mate in all you perfect glory. He loves you so much.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

a little self-indulgent, but may I request Full headcanons of M6 reacting (and accommodating?) to MC who's easily jealous and possessive due to their trauma? (for example, MC got cheated on before and now they can't bear the thought of M6 doing the same to them, if it makes sense.)

thanks!

The Arcana HCs: When MC struggles with jealousy

Julian

Cheating simply Does Not Occur to him. It doesn't enter his mind

Seriously. He doesn't doubt his capacity to be attractive, but for such a complicated person, experiencing love is a straightforward matter for him. He loves you. Why bother with anything else?

Of course, if it's a source of pain for you, then it's a concern for him too. He's had his fair share of unhealthy relationships and isn't in the dark about just how badly cheating will mess someone up

He's also the type to overthink things, so once you bring it up as your own issue, he's naturally taking it on as his issue too

He wouldn't! ... but now he's going to go out of his way to prove to himself that he's not the kind of person who would

It also drives the point home to him just how precious it is to have your trust (and why he really should have never tried to briefly dump you on the docks). That did need some discussing

In general, he's so transparent and talkative with you that there's nobody in his life you don't know about. If he has a high opinion of them, he's already trying to get you two to be friends as well

And if you ever worry that someone else is better for him, he will take that as a challenge to outdo your sense of unworthiness /j

Asra

They would never. You know this. They know this. Every citizen in Vesuvia knows this. The major Arcana know this

But the horrible thing about traumas and fears is that they don't have to be rational to hurt you, and Asra knows that too

Your relationship actually went through quite the rough patch with this at first. Asra's plenty familiar with heartbreak, but he doesn't have a jealous bone in his body and struggles to understand it

What's more, their own traumas make them practically allergic to feeling controlled or trapped in any way, which doesn't help their love of being mysterious and unpredictable

Which, of course, only fed your anxieties, and in turn left him easily triggered if you tried to get a solid answer out of him about what he'd been up to all day on his spontaneous solo side quests

What's most important, though, is that they love you with everything they are, and they're dedicated to helping you heal and being the best partner they can as they build a happy life with you

It's a catalyst for both of you to confront and work through your traumas together - your jealousy, and his fear of constancy

They do find telling you all about their day is actually lots of fun

Nadia

She is so glad you're bringing this up

Would she ever cheat? Absolutely not. She takes relational boundaries very seriously and what she has with you is a kind of love and safety and closeness she's waited for her whole life

However, while she and Lucio never cheated on each other, they did have an open marriage which meant other lovers were in the picture, and knowing you're not comfortable with that is important

She will happily get into the nitty gritty of past grievances and unsatisfying relationships and the details of every boundary

She also strongly values your sense of safety and security with her, and if there's any little things she can do to equip you to battle your demons, she will happily do them. Just tell her what helps

However, it is also very important to her to clarify that your jealousy is your situation talking and not a slight on her character

Because if it helps you heal to see her be transparent with you, she'll practically become glass, but if you start questioning her own intentions and moral code, you're not giving her space to do right

Can and will set things up so you can watch her beat down anybody flirting with her in real time (and kiss you afterwards)

Muriel

Cheating is an entirely foreign concept to him and the fact that someone would actually do that is completely horrifying to him

He is so, so sorry you had to find out what that was like

He's also baffled about how that could even happen. In his case, you're the first person he's even considered having a relationship like this with. Who else would he even want to be with?

The first time you express any insecurity or jealousy about him specifically, he's a little thrown. Just the thought of betraying you like that disgusts him, do you really distrust him that much?

Of course, that's his own traumas and insecurities affecting him, and he knows better than anyone how poor past experiences make him fear hurt from his loved ones which he knows they'd never do

If you have the patience to soothe him when he flinches from your sudden movements or unexpected happy shouts, he easily has the patience to reassure you of your importance and safety with him

He'll also hold a grudge even bigger than yours against whoever gave you that relational trauma. In his mind, they have a reserved spot right next to Lucio in the not-fun part of the afterlife

Still doesn't know who else would find him desirable anyways

Portia

Oh, she gets it. She doesn't necessarily experience this to the level that you do, but she certainly relates on multiple counts

Feeling left behind by a loved one and struggling not to be insecure about it? Check. It's why she's so free to steal Julian's kneecaps

Feeling like she's just the good option people pick until they find their ideal option? Feeling like it's just a matter of time until she gets dropped again, no matter how well-meaning that person is?

Yeah, she gets you. Not to mention that it's a little hard not to compare herself to the incredible people you're friends with who would all clearly love to be the focus of your affections

The fact that you feel this too is such a relief. You two are about to spend so many hours on her couch with tea and baked treats while you talk about your similar experiences and unpack those feelings

And honestly, hearing you voice your doubts gives her space to voice hers. You can be open about how she's clearly the Countess's favorite and she can be open about your past roommate setup

If either of you finds it just a little bit attractive when you get to flaunt your relationship at ambassador events when another partygoer gets a bit too friendly - well - it's a guilty pleasure

Lucio

Look, he knows he's not a shining example of a model citizen, but he wouldn't disrespect the boundaries of someone he loves

At the same time, his assumptions about what those boundaries are aren't exactly monogamous. Will he be in a closed, exclusive relationship with you if those are your boundaries? Absolutely!

Will he need you to explicitly tell him that those are your boundaries? Also yes. Otherwise he might randomly ask how you feel about inviting a new friend to go on a date with you two

He's still working on his emotional intelligence, too, so the chances of him understanding the relational trauma aspect of that are slim

However, he understands the insecurity. You could leave him tomorrow and as heartbroken and betrayed as he'd feel, deep down he wouldn't be able to find it in himself to blame you

The last thing he wants to make you feel is less than or unworthy. You are worth so, so very much and you deserve only the best

Because he's still learning new habits, accountability is something he finds as uncomfortable as he does necessary and while he doesn't need it in this area, he still values it

Still needs reassurances that you don't think he'd actually do that

[sanjisboyfie]

yandere luffy headcanons

HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY BRAIN FOR A BIT TOO LONG it needed to be on the interest for everyone to see

yandere ! luffy . . . does not like at all when people eat up too much of your time, it really, really ruins his mood. he's seen people on the islands you've visited be really attracted to your charisma and it really pisses him off. he doesn't even want to imagine someone else coming into your life and being more important than him. no matter how angry he gets about it, though, he won't blame you. he'll blame the other person.

he's making unsatisfied noises at how long you've been standing and talking to the old lady about the prices of the goods. to him it was too boring to be conversing about it for so long, but now he was also getting annoyed with how attentive you'd been to her.

"let's go! let's go! let's go!" luffy began berating you for staying there for so long, trying to tug you away from the old lady.

"ah, he's quite lively isn't he?" she didn't seem bothered by his behavior, but luffy was bothered by her comment.

"you're takin' up too much of our time, old lad-" a hand clamped onto luffy's mouth before something rude could properly leave luffy's lips.

you bowed apologetically to the woman and dropped beri into her hands and took your share of the groceries.

"yay, thank god," luffy sighed, draping himself over your shoulders to increase skinship, "let's just go back to the sunny, please!!!"

yandere ! luffy . . . very clingy, beyond the normal bounds of that word. he feels as though it's only right that he should be practically living in your skin. he's your portable human backpack, wrapping his arms around your neck and legs around your waist. he also accidentally found out it was the perfect way for him to spy on you and whatever you did. he'd be watching with an attentive gaze at the tasks you do, who you talk to, etc. and he loves it. all he has to do is rest his chin on your shoulder and then he gets to see everything you see? he loves it.

yandere ! luffy . . . who definitely has zero concept of what manners are when it comes to people besides you. he doesn't really care if the person he's talking to thinks his tone is rude or brash, they're not you so it doesn't really matter to him how he speaks to them. he just looks at them as if they're weird for demanding more respect from him and then he blatantly refuses to give it to them. why should he respect other people that aren't you? that's weird...

yandere ! luffy . . . asks the most invasive questions, with an innocent smile on his face too. another thing he does with an innocent look is threatening people, wayyyy too casually.

"do you want me to kill them?" he grinned, laughing to himself - as if the idea would be funny. the person he was referring to was some woman that was shooting her shot with you. she was smiling ear-to-ear and gently asking if you'd like to spend time with her, somewhere quiet. luffy overheard as he was sitting behind you and whipped his head around, looking her up and down.

"luffy!" you'd scold him, chopping down on his head at the threat. he didn't pay your words any mind though, a displeased look on his face.

"she's interrupting our time together, though," luffy whined, pointing a finger at the woman who was now more baffled than bashful, "you! don't think you'll get away with this! i'll beat you up!"

"luffy! stop!!" you defended the poor woman, but she had already ran away in fear.

"good, she's gone! c'mon, have some of this meat!"

yandere ! luffy . . . places his strawhat on your head knowing that it makes everyone that interacts fear for their life. the hat has become an image associated with the intimidating captain and the destruction he brings to enemies that step in his way. also it makes him happy, fuels a possessive desire in his soul.

yandere ! luffy . . . doesn't really know exactly what he wants in terms of a relationship with you because he just isn't informed or has experience in that stuff. but ! he does know he wants you, completely. he wants you and will not stop striving for you until all of you is his to have, own, and keep. (emphasis on keep because you won't ever be leaving him)

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

So, you have been in a relationship for a while and you’re ready and eager to take the next step - but your partner isn’t. What now? 

The “next step” I’m referring to here could mean a lot of different things because relationships do not all follow one specific timeline (and also because my readers may be of wildly different ages and live in wildly different situations) but I am thinking of any “deepening our commitment” things here: for example introducing them to your friends or your family, moving in together or (if you are in a situation where that’s a legal possibility) even marriage or having a child together. 

Whatever the step actually looks like, you may have this romantic idea of “If they’re right for you, you’ll always naturally want to take these steps at the same time”… but that’s not really how relationships work in real life. Even in the healthiest relationship and even if you absolutely feel like they’re your soulmate, you may still disagree on when to take those steps or even on whether you want to take these steps at all. 

In fact, it’s uniquely frustrating if everything else is going well. If their refusal to meet your mom is just another point on the long list of behaviors that make you feel like they don’t really care about you, that’s also painful but it’s easier to give advice there: maybe you should think about breaking up. It’s tempting to believe that you can make them love you more if you move in with them or that they’ll treat you better once you get engaged, but that won’t work out. You can’t fix a broken relationship by deepening the commitment - commitment needs a stable foundation to grow. And this doesn’t only go for outright abusive relationships: they may be a wonderful person but you two just have entirely different goals and needs, and those won’t suddenly overlap more just because you moved in with them or married them. 

With all that being said: if there IS a healthy and stable foundation, if you are happy in every other aspect and they’re just hesitant about this one specific step, then jumping straight to “break up with them” would obviously be pretty unhelpful advice. Differing opinions occur even in the most compatible couple, you are both whole people with your own individual feelings and those do not necessarily doom the whole relationship. It’s important to see this situation in the context of the relationship in general. 

You may be able to guess that a big portion of the advice is just gonna be “Communicate with your partner” - but first of all, I’d advise you to have an open and honest conversation with yourself. Why is this step of commitment so important to you? What does it mean to you? Do you feel a sense of urgency in taking it and if so, why? Is this specific step the only possible path for your need to be met? Are you open to alternative approaches, are you open to waiting (and if so, for how long)? The purpose of these questions is definitely not to convince yourself to give up on your needs or to talk yourself into a compromise you’re not really happy with! The opposite of that, actually: It’s helpful to reflect on what exactly you want and why you want it, so you have the clarity you need to discuss it productively. You don’t want to agree to something that ultimately leaves you unsatisfied and bitter, but you also don’t want to push hard for something you later on realize doesn’t even mean that much to you. 

When you feel confident enough about your own stance to discuss it with your partner, the most important thing to remember is: you’re on the same team. The goal here isn’t to “win” or to change their mind, but to see each others perspective better and find a solution you’re both happy with. Listen with an open mind. Try to understand before you try to influence. Remind yourself that your partner isn’t your enemy, they also want the best outcome for both of you - otherwise you (hopefully) wouldn’t want to commit to them! 

Something you should get clarification on during your conversations: is it a hard no (do not want to do that at all ever), a soft no (open to alternatives or adjustments), a no for now (want to do it but not yet), a yes but (want to do it but only under certain circumstances or in a different way than your original plan) or a I don’t know? How does this affect your feelings on the situation? (I’m sure that even just while reading these different scenarios, some instinctively feel better or worse than others! But it’s still important to take some time to sit with any new information that comes up during those conversations. Neither of you should feel pressured or rushed here!) 

You may find that they just never considered that there may be multiple approaches to that step (an example for this would be that they are not actually opposed to the idea of being married to you, just to the idea of a wedding, and didn’t consider yet that eloping is also a possibility) - but don’t set yourself up for disappointment by expecting the conversation to 100% go that way. It may also be a hard no, and that wouldn’t make them a horrible person. People can deeply, truly love someone and still do not want to take certain steps with them. It’s a good idea to remind yourself that you’re not “in the right” or “the better person” for wanting to take those steps. While certain steps may be a big part of your own future plans or even of your identity and self-image (and that’s valid!), they are just personal preferences. It’s not a moral obligation to want them, and your partner isn’t mean for not wanting them. But, of course, at this point we also need to say: if you can not imagine a life where you never get married, you are not a horrible person for breaking up with a partner who can not imagine to ever marry. “Irreconcilable differences” are a common breakup reason for a reason. 

So, to summarize: Building a strong foundation is crucial before taking big steps. Communicate openly with yourself first - understand why you want to take this step and if there are alternatives. When talking to your partner, remember you're a team; it's not about winning but understanding each other. Be open to different responses, from a clear no to conditions on a yes. Do not pressure your partner but do not completely give up on your own happiness either. 

The journey of commitment should be a shared adventure - not a battle or a competitive race! 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[caffedrine]

Ikemen Prince Act 4 Prologue Summary

I pretty much have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t trust me, and you shouldn’t either. This summary is not guaranteed to be accurate, it’s mostly written for myself to follow along with all the lore that was just dropped.

Emma has had a recurring dream where she finds a book in a beautiful rose garden and reads it. Unfortunately, the book is unfinished, and leaves her feeling unsatisfied. We then get a summary of Acts 1 and 2 - Emma was chosen as Belle, the woman to choose the next king of Rhodolite from a selection of 8 princes. She also has to go undercover due to the visit of 3 foreign princes. Ultimately, she gets through her trials, chooses a good king, doesn’t get entangled with anyone, and avoids being chained up in Gilbert’s love dungeon. This should count as a happy ending to the story, but it leaves Emma feeling unfulfilled. She wants to have her own adventures, learn more things, meet new people, and maybe fall in love with someone.

Emma eventually wakes up from her flashback nap only to find that she is still in the bookstore, having fallen asleep while reading a book. Just as she starts to get up to close the shop, she realizes she’s not alone.

The shop’s owner and her adopted ‘too young to be a dad’ not-father has returned. He often travels the world, purchasing and selling rare books, and is back from his last year-long trip.

Though he is not a native to Rhodolite, and still wears the beautiful, eye-catching clothes from his native home in Ruby, he has set up a permanent shop in Rhodolite’s capital city. And, he has taken care of Emma since she was a child.

Akatsuki, the shop owner, reveals that he knows all about Emma’s time as Belle, as Sariel had been sending him regular letters. He had hurried home when he heard that pipsqueak from Obsidian had also shown up, but it looks like Emma got through that ordeal just fine without him.

Emma assures Akatsuki that nothing major had happened during her time as Belle, and she had actually enjoyed it. It had given her a new perspective and opened up new avenues of interest for her.

Akatsuki points at the book Emma had been napping on and asks if that’s why she’s changed from romance novels to studying continental history.

This segues into Emma admitting that she feels trapped in a small world since her last experiences and wants to travel the world just like Akatsuki does. Akatsuki offers to take her with him on his next trip.

Emma is excited, and Akatsuki tells her that as his valued employee, it’s time for her to learn how to purchase books as well. 

Akatsuki unfurls a map and sits with Emma. While not usually a problem, these days things are a lot more dangerous than they were. Emma asks if it’s the 3-country alliance between Tanzanite, Ruby, and Acroite. She heard about it briefly during her time as Belle.

And yes, that’s exactly the problem. Right now, the countries are not hostile, but this could be the calm before the storm. Akatsuki asks if, despite knowing of the danger, will Emma leave the relative safety of Rhodolite and travel to these countries with him.

If this had been before her time as Belle, Emma probably would have refused. But now, after meeting the princes of Rhodolite, Emma agrees without hesitation. 

So, the next step is to choose the country. Each has its own dangers, but it is how Akatsuki will get his rare books. Notably, Akatsuki is somewhat hesitant about going to Ruby. 

Since this is her training trip, Akatsuki generously lets Emma choose their destination. To help her decide, Emma asks Akatsuki to tell her about each country.

Tanzanite 

Tanzanite is the land of divination and illusion. Everything is determined by the living god.

The living god is a person born with silver hair and silver eyes. But - it’s not just his appearance that is unique - he is clairvoyant beyond anyone in recorded history, each of his prophesies/predictions has come true. He is considered a miracle bestowed upon Tanzanite by god.

Meanwhile, in Tanzanite

In the Tanzanite throne room, filled with people bristling with excitement, a huge moon shines down as if protecting the people.

With one word, the living god Azel is able to silence the entire vast room of people. With a benevolent visage, Azel tells the crow that god has this spoken and tells them to develop the policies to follow the divine will. Or don’t, it’s their choice whether or not to follow divine will. Just don’t make a choice that they will regret. The heavens will be watching.

Finished, Azel stands up and simultaneously the crowd falls to their knees, their heads pressed against the floor. Among the crowd, the King of Tanzanite tells Azel that there is a banquet being held in his honor and asks him to attend. Azel politely declines - he can’t imagine anyone would enjoy their meal if god were to attend. He’ll just quietly return home, no need to see him off. He bids everyone a farewell, praying that god will bless them.

As he leaves the group, Azel finds himself alone in a quiet hallway lit only by the moon, the night's natural calm returning. Or almost alone.

A woman is waiting for him, dressed in provocative dancer’s garb. She is carrying a variety of dishes and asks if he’s in a good mood. Azel thanks her for her consideration, but he must decline. The woman points out that he already declined the banquet held by the king, but after that divination, he must be hungry. At this, Azel’s traitorous stomach growls. Again, Azel thanks her and declines, mentioning that he is actually in a hurry, and could she get out of his way?

The woman moves to block his path completely as Azel tries to brush past her. Azel loses it, calling her stupid and refusing to understand him no matter what he says. He trips the woman over his foot, and she falls to the ground, dropping all the food.

Azel feels so sorry . . . For the wasted food. His eyes full of compassion, he laughs and asks the woman to lick up the food. She is stunned, and Azel explains that it goes against his morals to waste food. He gesture at an upturned bowl of soup and tells her to crawl to it like a dog and lick it up so it isn’t wasted.

Of course, Azel isn’t a tyrannical monster, he’s not forcing the woman to do anything. It’s her freedom to choose to follow the living god’s will or not.

The woman hesitates, but in the end, she brings her face down to the soup and licks it up. Soon, her body grows hot and her gaze clouds with lust, and she looks up at Azel. Azel surmises the soup must have been laced with an aphrodisiac- he guesses the poor woman’s fortune isn’t good at all today.

Or rather, she is extremely fortunate. The living god, Azel, will keep this a secret between them and won’t tell anyone about her misdeeds.

Azel walks past the woman and calls over his shoulder that she can feel free to take care of herself, or any other option she might have available to her. He will take his leave now.

The woman reaches out to try to cling to his legs and tells him that she loves him. She would do anything, give up anything for their living god. She asks Azel if these feelings she has for him truly is a sin?

(Azel does not appreciate his almost-rapist declaring love)

Azel turns around and tells her that god doesn’t love anyone, since it doesn’t give him any advantage. Well, maybe if she gave him the same amount of money Silvio does, he would consider it. But as she is, she has nothing he wants.

Azel thinks the woman still doesn’t understand, so he will say it plainer. Get out of his sight, he can’t stand her. The woman gasps as the compassion drains from Azel’s face. His eyes are as cold as a desert night, and he looks down on her as if she is an insect.

Most of the time, it’s not love that people like her feel, it’s greed drowning stupid women like her. Under the moonlight, Azel laughs coldly and without any sense of compassion. 

Everyone in this country protected by god is living a happy dream. On the day the dream crumbles away, Azel wonders when people will get over the shock and laugh with him.

Acroite

The country is built on a steep mountain range where it snows year-round. Everyone follows strict laws, making it the safest country on the continent. The laws are enforced by the Keepers of the Laws, people who can set aside their humanity and rule everything fair and balanced.

Recently, the penalties for lawbreaking have become harsher and more severe, but the country is extremely stable and orderly. If someone commits a crime, the Keepers of the Laws will make you pay.

Meanwhile, in Acroite

Snowflakes, large enough to be mistaken for flower petals, flutter down on the houses, coating everything in a white winter wonderland scene. 

The lamp-lit street is bustling and full of people, but unlike other cities, there are groups of people missing. There are no beggars, drunks, or youths itching for a fight. It is because in this country, those activities are illegal, and one can expect to be swiftly arrested.

However, there is a corner where a large group of women have gathered, all jockeying for position. One woman after another asks Matthias to join them at a party, or for dinner. Matthias politely thanks them and explains that he doesn’t want to be late for work. 

Matthias Osbrink, the First Prince of Acroite, the Keeper of the Law. He has blond hair the color of the fading rays of twilight and sad eyes the color of snow in shadow. While he has a stiff demeanor- he is still considered very appealing. The women around him gaze at him with enchanted expressions.

He combs back his hair with a sigh, to the delight of the women watching, and hurries away. A fellow judge walks next to him, patting him on the back sympathetically. He teases Matthias for being so popular with the ladies.

Matthias complains that his coworker didn’t help him at all, after all, Matthias is famous for not being good at dealing with women.

The coworker agrees that he knows that, but unfortunately, he is too busy being envious of Matthias’ luck with women to help him out. If anything, he wanted to switch places.

Matthias asks if his coworker noticed the look in those women’s eyes. They were the eyes of a warrior, determined to annihilate the enemy.

The coworker is taken aback, he was certain they were just lovely women.

Matthias complains that he doesn’t care if they are beautiful or not, the problem is that they are not his soulmate.

His ideal woman is someone who doesn’t venerate him, nor does she look at him like she’s preparing for war. In fact, she’s the type of person who would kiss him goodbye in the morning while adjusting his tie. Afterward, she would smile gently as she waved goodbye and . . .

Yes, yes, this isn’t the first time Matthias’ coworker has heard this fantasy. Honestly, he would say it is starting to get embarrassing, but they passed that mark a long time ago.

Quietly, Matthias’ coworker asks if he’s okay. Matthias points out that he’s spent the past ten minutes explaining how he’s not okay and needs to be rescued from these warrior women.

That’s not what Mathias’ coworker meant. The defendant for today’s trial is Matthias’ friend.

Matthias summarizes his relationship with the defendant. They were roommates at the Royal Academy, and when they joined the National Guard together, they were in the same unit. Matthias recalls him as being a good person, with a cheerful personality, smart, and witty. And, unlike Matthias’s coworker, was good with handling women and could help Matthias out of the situation before.

(Conflict of interest? What is that?)

Matthias sees no problem with handling the trial. After all, he is a member of the Osbrink family.

The seat of the country’s justice, the royal court, was filled with a solemn crowd of defendants, lawyers, state officials, investigators, and a large number of citizens. The five judges, the Keepers of Law, sit high above with everyone watching them.

Matthias summons the defendant, accused of selling secret Acroite military information, forward to testify. While the defendant looks haggard, there is a gleam of hope in his eye. It is well known that the defendant was friends with the Keeper of Law, Matthias.

After the testimony, Matthias rules that there is no reason to exonerate the defendant from his crimes. The defendant disagrees, he made a mistake, yes, but death is too heavy a punishment for it. Matthias disagrees, the law is the law, and as a citizen of Acroite, the defendant must abide by the sentence. The execution will take place in five days at noon.

The defendant collapses, and Matthias watches him being taken away with snow-shadow eyes. With that, Matthias ends the trial and closes the court.

After everyone leaves, Matthias remains behind in the empty courtroom. In the same emotionless voice, he used when he proclaimed the sentence, Matthias mutters that he did the right thing just now. He’s the Crown Prince of Acroite, the land of snow and laws. It’s his duty to condemn and punish all evil.

Ruby

The last country on the list of options is Ruby, the land of Cherry Blossoms and Turbulent Times. The situation is complicated, the country is in a 3-way civil war, each with foreign backing. In theory, there is a royal family, but they’re all on opposite sides.

There is, however, a safe area, in Kagari-Yaksha’s territory.

Yaksha? Emma asks Akatsuki to explain that.

It’s a title of sorts given to one of the faction leaders, a true battle fanatic who has never lost a fight. If they go under his protection, they’ll be safe. For now. As long as he doesn’t decide that they’re his enemies.

Meanwhile, in Ruby

A group of men run through the forest, hoods low over their heads and swords hanging from their belts. When they near a red-tiled castle illuminated by lanterns, they halt and gather to strategize.

A voice begins counting them, 100, 200, at least less than 400. The men all start and grab at their swords, searching the darkness for the voice.

Without a sound, a man with fiery red hair and green eyes appears before them. He asks if they were planning on launching a night attack with so many worthless people. Honestly, they’re barely even worth killing. Compared to all the other factions, these people are barely more than half-trained children. The man asks if they are still planning on going through with their attack. If they give up and turn around now, he’ll let them leave.

One of the attackers notes his hair and eyes and identifies him as Kagari, the Yaksha. Another attacker laughs, explaining that from the rumors, he was expecting a beast of a man, but instead its just some pretty guy. It’s not bad to be disappointed from time to time. Besides, even if he is the warrior of rumor, he is but one man against –

Another hooded attacker recoils as the speaker’s head falls to the ground. Kagari apologizes, he grew bored of waiting for the speaker to finish talking. He tells the men that he’s kind of busy, so rather than killing them one by one, he would prefer it if they just all came at him at once. Hey, even weaklings like them might give him some entertainment if they work together. When one of the attackers protests, Kagari tells him not to get angry, he’s just telling them the truth.

The difference in their ability was obvious.

Kagari notes that this is what it’s like to be weak. Even if they never met him, these men would have still died young. He dodges their attack like a wildcat, his movements quick and efficient. With each stab of his sword, a vital area is struck, and bright red droplets dance like cherry blossoms in the wind. The final attacker tries to run, but Kagari throws his sword, striking the man. Kagari bemoans how heartless people are these days, leaving their comrades to die alone.

The final attacker explains that they’re not comrades, he’s a mercenary who was just hired to do a job with them. He begs Kagari for mercy.

In this country the strong are good and the weak are evil. Therefore, a weak person like this mercenary has no place in Ruby. If he dies here and now, he doesn’t have to go through life being a weak coward who hates himself. Really, Kagari is doing him a favor.

He kills the man quickly, and then disappointedly notes that everyone else is dead.

The quiet night is interrupted again by the sound of approaching footsteps. Kagari’s subordinates arrive, and he orders them to send the bodies back to their employer. The subordinates complain that Kagari went off without them again. Kagari asks if they want to be killed along with the attackers. The subordinates grow pale and Kagari tells them that he was just joking. Mostly.

Kagari sheathes his sword, and the atmosphere lightens. He tells his subordinates that he’s fine on his own, and if they’re useless in a fight, they’ll just get in his way. But even he understands strategy enough to know that the more pieces one has, the better.

No one chases after the Yaksha when he walks away.

With an unsteady step, Kagari settles beneath a cherry tree, and notes that there is a full moon tonight. He watches some of the petals fall in front of him.

(Some days you just wanna take a nap)

The bushes next to him rustle though there is no wind. Kagari asks if they’ve come again.

A cat pops out of the bush and meows at Kagari. Kagari meows in reply and tells the cat he’s especially bloody tonight, so they should stay away. The cat doesn’t heed his warning and approaches Kagari, tail held high.

Kagari muses that if the cat lives in this country, they’re probably used to the smell of blood by now. He lies down, using his sword as a makeshift pillow. The cat trots over to his side and when he strokes under their chin, they begin to fall asleep.

Kagari complains that the cat is too small, too fragile, and too forgetful to survive. They’re going to die soon. Then again, the cat is choosing to sleep next to the Yaksha, a good choice to live a long life.

A shadow flickers in Kagari’s eyes and he pulls his sword close to himself. He wonders when the next battle will be. Tomorrow, the day after?

Unfortunately fighting doesn’t put food on the table. If things continue, he may starve to death. He needs to hurry up before that happens, and then everything will be easier.

Rhodolite

Finished talking about the four countries, Akatsuki turns to Emma and asks which country she has chosen.

Emma thinks that all the countries are interesting, and any one of them would be a good choice. After listening to Akatsuki, Emma chooses.

[prettieinpink]

how do I learn to love my appearance? I know it won’t matter if other people think, it matters what I think. So how do I improve my self concept about my appearance?

HOW TO CHANGE THE WAY YOU VIEW YOURSELF (APPEARANCE)

!disclaimer! Please be patient with yourself when learning how to love yourself, and remember that being discouraged and down is all a part of the process. 

UNDERSTAND THE WAY YOU VIEW YOURSELF. Do you tend to view yourself as inferior, or do you think you’re heavily flawed? Write out everything that you think about yourself, anything that comes to mind. 

Then go back and re-read everything. See what is true, or something you have been conditioned to believe and why. Most of the time, our perspective of ourselves is skewed due to many external factors. This activity will help to see which parts of ourselves we see in someone else’s POV. 

TAKE A STEP AWAY FROM THE MIRROR. When you want to improve your perspective of how you look, avoid taking selfies, looking at old photos and prolonged looks in the mirror for maybe a week or fortnight. It’ll help to ground yourself appearance-wise, as you’ll realise that regardless of your attractiveness, it’s possible to live without having to reassure yourself of how attractive you are. 

ACCEPT YOUR FLAWS. You don’t have to embrace them and tell yourself that you love your flaws so much, but just accept the fact that they’re there. It’s okay to dislike parts of ourselves, but we should acknowledge flaws from a place of love, not hatred. 

GIVE YOUR APPEARANCE A BIGGER PURPOSE. Your appearance doesn’t just have to be for aesthetics, it can serve you in different ways. For example, your eyes help you to read your favourite books and your stomach digests all this yummy food. 

Your physical features should not cause you guilt or self-hate, like I said, acknowledge your flaws from a place of love. 

YOUR SOUL IS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE FEATURE OF YOU, and no one else can have a soul and mind that is even remotely similar to you. Instead of worrying about how pretty your face or body looks, worry about how pretty your soul is. Are you nourishing it and allowing it to flourish, or is it slowly rotting in your vessel? 

Once your soul starts to flourish, it will reflect on your vessel(body), and you will notice a difference. 

STUDY YOUR MIND. If you can, take a small notebook and pen everywhere or write on your phone as soon as you get a negative thought about your appearance. If that is too difficult, then write a tally about how many times you’ve thought that way. 

At the end of the day, look at your findings and see what may have triggered this thought to occur. Have you always thought this? Was someone else saying something that conditioned you to believe a certain way? Does your current environment encourage this way of thinking? 

RECOGNISE A NEED FOR A RE-BRAND. Sometimes when we feel unsatisfied with the way we look, it could be that this is us internally craving a re-brand into our higher self. 

Maybe you’ve kept the same style for 5 years and you realise it’s not so flattering, or maybe you feel like your style isn’t in alignment with your ideal self. Whatever the reason, ask yourself if a rebrand is a good idea for you. 

Done! This was difficult to write, but I’m proud of the way it turned out. I hope you can take away at least one thing and take care of yourself! ♡