#Why am I doing this to myself skull emoji

[cyaixrid]

Four puts X in a warm place

[boy-comics]

Omggg I’m the first emoji anon? That’s an honor!!! 🥰 Thank you so much for taking the time for writing my request it was super adorable! I actually realized that this saga has a fourth part, so I might just quickly make another request, where y/n realizes the xh members have a crush on them before the members do themselves. Thank you so much in advance! — ✨

XDINARY HEROES AND REALIZING THEY HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU

── .✦ tags; swearing

── .✦ a/n; here it is!!! follows the plot of the last three parts, so this ended up with most of the members already knowing they like you <3 the getting together part is more implied with some of them but i hope you still like it ✨ anon :') (pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3)

── .✦ gunil;

you don't think gunil would make fun of you over something like this. but how else are you supposed to interpret this—being crowded against one side of the closet, his hand holding yours and his breath on your lips as he asks if he can kiss you in the dark?

are you teasing me?

he stops. you think you've just ruined everything when he pulls away.

teasing? he asks, sounding baffled. did i sound like i was?

w-well, you stammer, it's just—why would you want to kiss me?

without warning, someone bangs on the door. you swallow, heart pounding as gunil tells the person outside to come back in ten minutes and flips the light switch on.

i asked because i like you. his brow is furrowed, his eyes soft at the corners as he gives you an amused look. i was actually going to tell you when we first came in here, but ... he blinks and scratches the back of his head. wait, you like me back, right? i'm not humiliating myself?

goo gunil likes you. you lean back against the wall, completely floored by the revelation. you like gunil, and he likes you back.

yes.

i am humiliating myself?

i like you back. averting your eyes, you force yourself to keep talking. so if you wanted to ... try again ...

you hear him huff out a laugh—an endeared laugh, and it sends blood straight to your cheeks. his face is slightly red when you look at him. yeah, let's try again. do you want the lights off like before?

you shake your head, your hand reaching for his.

no, that's okay.

── .✦ jungsu;

it's a perfectly reasonable hour to invite a friend over. you have a perfectly reasonable reason, too—you need to put together a new dresser for your room, and jungsu had offered to help since your roommate is out of town. this is all planned, and therefore, you have nothing to be nervous about.

but when you see his shoes next to yours, and when he settles down on the living room rug to read the instructions, brow furrowing as he admits to having done this only once before, you almost spill your guts right then and there.

you figure out the dresser together. when it is finished, one of the drawers closes funny, and there's a screw left in one of the bags that you can't tell is an extra or not, but the furniture is pretty sturdy overall and jungsu helps you arrange it how you like in your bedroom.

for a moment, you admire the new addition together. a thought flits into your head.

it kinda feels like we're moving in together.

you only realize that you've said it out loud when jungsu looks at you with wide eyes. swallowing your pride, you hold his gaze, because you had meant what you said.

he smiles, cheeks going pink. yeah, it kind of does.

a lightbulb, long unused, turns on inside your skull.

you watch, enamored, as he chews on his bottom lip, and when he eventually asks you, with the smallest note of breathlessness, if you would like to get dinner later—as a date, not as friends—you say yes.

── .✦ gaon;

after the couch incident, you begin to notice certain things.

of course, it's possible that you're just seeing what you want to see. but ... has he always blushed like that around you? or said your name that often? when was the first time he had jokingly put his arm around your shoulder while sitting next to you?

you used to roll your eyes whenever your friends insisted on jiseok's massive crush on you. but with every get together, every car ride, every late-night text and snack that he insists on paying for, the evidence mounts until you are all but certain that it's true.

and when jiseok gladly holds your hand at the maze park, gazing at you in a way that nobody else has ever had before, you recognize the thinness of the line that you are wobbling on and resolve to confess before the day has ended.

you have just bid goodbye to your other friends at the train station when jiseok turns to you and asks, expression deadly serious, if he can walk with you the few minutes it takes to get to your place.

naturally, you say yes. and once you're standing at your door, your spiel rehearsed several times over in your head, he—well, he beats you to it. confessing, that is.

he looks slightly nauseous, but his words are firm and straight to the point. to be honest, i wish today was an actual double date because i really like you.

it's nothing dramatic. there are no fireworks, no swell of music, and the dog next door continues to bark. but your heart flutters all the same. me too. text me when you get home?

jiseok visibly gulps and nods.

the evening air is just beginning to bite. okay. well … goodnight.

'night.

you lean forward to kiss his cheek, catching a glimpse of the way his jaw drops before you rush inside and shut the door behind you.

── .✦ o.de;

at this point, the passenger seat of your best friend's parents' car knows you better than most. the only exception is the person driving it, and even though you know he'd rather be doing anything else right now, he's parking in your driveway while you wipe your cheeks and unbuckle your seat belt.

thanks.

wait, he says when you unlock the car door. your eyes meet, and the guilt from last night's argument resurfaces. you don't deserve to be treated like that, you know.

i do, though. you told me you didn't trust him, and i just yelled at you.

doesn't mean you deserved to be stood up. his mouth presses into a frown when you scoff. hey. there's nothing wrong with you.

then why does this keep happening to me? every date i go on ends with me feeling like shit, or i get stood up and feel like shit. i didn't even like him. the whole time i was getting ready for tonight, all i could think about was how he wasn't— you cut yourself off.

wasn't what? seungmin says softly.

he wasn't you, you say, voice cracking. and i know that'll never happen, so just pity me like always and let me be miserable, okay?

you open the door. he lets you step out without a single protest.

upon reaching your front door, however, you hear a car door open behind you. seungmin calls your name, and before you know it, you're being enveloped in a hug. your arms wrap around him on instinct.

seungmin?

don't say it'll never happen, he mutters. you'll break my heart.

your breath hitches. he pulls away, eyes searching yours, and then he presses his lips to your forehead and steps back.

get some sleep. we can talk tomorrow.

── .✦ junhan;

it's a lapse in judgment. overconfidence, maybe. you are still riding the high of your first awards show appearance, and while sitting on the floor of your bedroom in your outfit and makeup, hyeongjun's congratulatory card lying open next to you, you pull up your messaging app and press on his contact.

can i ask you a question?

you just did?

:/ what would you say if i liked you?

a few seconds pass. then your phone lights up with an incoming call, and your bravado turns paper thin even as you jab the accept button.

you like me?

w-well, what would you say if i did?

well, there's some shuffling sounds. you dig your toes into the rug beneath them as he answers. i'd say that i like you too.

if you weren't already sitting, you're sure you would've fallen to your knees in shock. your heart feels like it'll burst.

really? you squeak.

only if you told me that you liked me.

i like you, hyeongjun.

there's a small smile in his voice. i like you too.

perhaps it wasn't a lapse in judgment. as you shyly wish him goodnight after realizing you've interrupted his nightly routine, agreeing to call again tomorrow, your spirits float higher than the clouds. it takes a gargantuan amount of effort to peel yourself off the floor and get ready for bed.

── .✦ jooyeon;

you are not usually one to avoid difficult conversations. however, this morning, sitting at your kitchen table with a glass of apple juice under your nose and dread bubbling in your chest, talking to jooyeon is the last thing you want to do.

i know you remember what you said. his calmness is jarring, and you don't like the way the tables have turned, with you fidgeting under the knowing eye of your junior. is it that embarrassing, that you wouldn't talk to me for a week?

no, you mutter. i just had to think about how to talk to you about it.

that's your responsibility, isn't it? to think about the consequences of your actions, to identify the best path to take—not to entangle jooyeon in feelings that could get both of you hurt.

because you had known about his feelings for a long time. he is the reason you had learned what a crush was in elementary school, after all, little lee jooyeon trailing after you like a lost puppy, your classmate eyeing you strangely as they slowly spelled it out for you. and the knowledge had stuck with you all these years, even as you stacked excuse upon excuse over it.

it's not fair to you to hold onto your feelings for me for so long, jooyeon.

they're my feelings. the only unfair thing is that you don't want to talk about yours.

they're not your responsibility to take care of.

hurt flashes in his eyes. aren't they, if they involve me? you like me, and i like you. why can't we be together?

i don't know! you burst out. maybe it's because you look at me like you trust me to do everything right, and i don't. i make mistakes, and i—i don't want to make a mistake with you.

jooyeon furrows his brow. his lips purse, and your face grows hotter with each second before he replies.

of course you make mistakes. i'll live.

he says it so plainly, so incredulously, that you stare at him in shock. then a sigh escapes you, and you bury your face in your hands, not knowing whether to laugh or to cry.

what?

jooyeon-ah, you hiccup, i don't know what to do with you.

you can date me.

when you peek at him through your fingers, you see the hopeful grin on his face, the trust that you have carried for so long, and your chest aches with affection. how nice it must be, you think, to feel so freely.

alright.

[go-go-gadget-autism]

i’ve been on tumblr to where i can sort of get the generalized humor that hit posts have and i know i’m funny enough to do them however i am also Too Stupid to Think of something.

so here are some quotes from me and my friends.

“what if i disguised myself as a chair?”

“that’s because you’re a classified homosexual.”

“having boobs does NOT make you magical.”

“since you haven’t seen rudolph the red nosed reindeer, i think you deserve to be shot.”

“why are you french”

“i am the sex”

“i will jizz in your oven”

“if you’re gonna get a blood disease, go big or go home”

“i’m not just fast, i’m autism fast”

“everyone needs an emotional support femboy”

“you should become a foot fetish artist”

“give me my aids”

“biblically accurate republican”

“i haven’t pissed in sixteen years”

“i didn’t waterboard the fish i swear!”

“i have the personality of a brick that plays dragon city”

“hentai father”

“the communism demons”

“i’m gonna commit a war crime on these fucking bugs”

“get sucked”

“the king of piss”

“the joke here is that you’re all going to die”

“*in hulk hogan voice* grab on my balls brother”

“*in scottish accent* necrophilia is like fine wine”

“platonic sugar daddy”

“i’m not gonna suck his nose.”

“girthy gunnage”

“how can a gun be autistic”

“don’t get your beans in a bungle”

“i don’t wanna be a bouillon cube!!”

“skinny jeans crush my balls, and not in a good way”

“i was gonna say that made me hard but then i remembered that i don’t have a penis”

“all chickens are racist.”

“people that use the skull emoji are attracted to femboys”

“aren’t fleshy potatoes just irish people??”

“he has rebellious white boy energy, and not in the sexy way”

“i’m just gonna casually eat poland gimme a second”

“you’re at perfect dick punching height”

“i am NOT a spy balloon!!!”

“penis jumpscare”

“stab me daddy”

“all hail the fuckle knuckle”

“that is the gayest fish i have ever seen”

“wait, you guys fuck ovens?”

“guys, am i a twink?”

“a gun is useless against the dreaded taxes.”

“chemically unstable shitting”

“non-hispanic bitch slap”

“you’re a woman sometimes, go make me a sandwich”

“are you accusing me of being sans undertale?”

“not gonna lie, i’d let Ted Bundy kill me. I’d let him eat me. preferably alive.”

“someone’s parent. imma bang em.”

“hitler moment”

“breast buy”

“guys, i did it! i created therapy!”

“i need my HVAC bible”

“the grapes built like himbos?”

“you’d let a tree shoot you if it had enough eyeliner.”

“i am a terrible mexican”

“i am going to make you into a soup”

“fuck it. *unchops your suey*”

“i’m gonna cuck him. musically.”

“you may be an engineer, but i have the pokémon deluxe essential handbook!”

“i’m going to fight the visible light spectrum”

“sounds like your balls just couldn’t handle the neutron style”

“i don’t do vapes i only do bagels”

“if you shit on my couch i swear to fucking god”

“you’re balls?”

“on a happier note, i just purchased England!”

“yeah, that’s old hag energy”

“i am now switzerland”

“i am in a relationship with gay jesus”

“what’s up cucumber”

“unlike you, i’m misogynistic.”

“hoe you are NOT going commando while working at an arby’s”

“ok well if you do throw up try to aim for the holes in your violin”

feel free to add your own quotes! my friends and i say some insane shit sorry

[angelucifa]

It's quite saddening and depressing that some people who have commited a mistake by accident without being aware of that before have apologized for that and tried to clear all that incident up afterwards by trying to reach out to everyone being involved to put an end to that dispute, but just keep being ignored completely by them until today and further and thus never get the chance to get some closure.

Instead they just seem to live on as if nothing happened and I still keep suffering endlessly coz I'll never be able to put all that behind, without knowing how things stand.

I just want all that inner struggle to end finally and stop asking myself what to do else to fight all my issues I got from that.

I just want to get happy again!

But instead I (again) have to ask myself why I am even born after all when no one really seems to care about me.

I still miss being on that fandom on Discord anyway and never seem to be able to join another fandom again without getting some reaction by others instantly like getting skull emojis!

I hate not getting any second chance after one shitty incident!

[ochrearia]

Here's the thing about how I'm writing Pico because like. I personally have my own traumas (obviously not the same as him) but in the same vein of no longer being able to trust people all that well and for me it translates into getting super hung up on showing affection or receiving love and that's kinda why I make Pico so easy to embarrass

But at the same time if challenged this dude will kill everyone with his flirting

I sort of tend to avoid talking in depth about traumas in my writing unless it's necessary for understanding something which. I usually never bring up my traumas myself unless I feel like whoever I'm talking to needs to know to understand why I'm saying or doing something the way I am. I don't wanna like, ignore the fact these characters have trauma that's not my goal I'm simply not the best at writing it as a focus and I also don't have faith in myself to represent it the way it deserves

I'm also kinda bad at taking care of my own mental illness and staying on top of things, Pico's kinda set up by fanon (or canon? not really sure) to be terrible at it too but I don't want to write that because in some way I'd feel like I'm enabling my own bad behavior skull emojie

[orchidyoonkook]

I wasn't ignoring you! I've been depressed lately... So I haven't actually been sociable with many people at the moment, or with anyone if you want me to be honest. I would try to be in a healthier mindset before I get back into conversations with people if I am actually able to do so.

But, then I woke up to the news that the guitarist (from a band I listen to) is leaving the band. Because of the timing of the announcement.. I thought, along with many other fans, believed it was just an elaborate April Fool's prank. But it doesn't seem that way. So! Now that brought my depression back hearing that news. My mental health is changing everyday. So I have conflicting feelings about hearing that new today.

So there's that.

I know, I know.. I'm just overreacting about news that I'm not apart of in any way so it shouldn't effect me but it also does at the same time.

I've noticed some emojis don't seem to appear on certain devices so I will have to figure out an emoji that actually appears everywhere, or if it would be easiest to know who is who (while I'm being anonymous).

Yeah.. I'm a private person. I would only reveal things about myself if I am actually comfortable around any other person. I'm always like this all the time. Doesn't matter if you're family, friends, even strangers.

Oh! Yeah. Maybe I should've elaborated those specific relationships in fictional stories. I can see and read dark content, but never content in that way; those ships are limitations that I'm never comfortable with.

I wasn't going to say specific words in you - or anyone else who might have - read my messages. Since I know certain terms may actually be upsetting for some people. Maybe my explanation was just too vague though, so I should've elaborated more with being explicit about that.

Based on labels. My style was between "emo", "goth", "punk", "grunge" and every style in between that you could think of. Ripped jeans have always been my preference in pants.. Usually black shirts, sometimes I'd wear band shirts on occasion or shirts with graphic designs (skulls is an obvious example). Dyed hair, piercings. This is still my own style.

So it doesn't was not a phase for me like most people believed.. There was only a few people who knew that my style wasn't any phase at all either. Anyway! I'm getting too off topic again. Or at least I think I am.

Yes! Guys and girls could be friends. Not every relationship between a guy and girl have romantic or sexual either, there are also the platonic ships and even kinships too. Depending on how close their bonds are.

I rarely had female friends. Not because "I'm just like one of the guys." was the reason. Well.. Maybe I felt that way when I was a preteen that time. But I usually have better connections to guys. Nothing against a lot of women, since I know not every female is the same person when it comes to actions and reactions. I knew many girls who were always horrible to me. Other than people who treated me differently once it's been known that I'm disabled, since people have treated me different once they've found out about my disabilities (like autism for example) - but this is towards people in general though. When it comes to girls; so many female friends were jealous of me for whatever reasons they had. I'm not being conceited. They were actually jealous of me for any reasons I don't know. Any time I had other friends besides her, dating boyfriends or even had a crush on guys, she'd always steal them from me. Which is why I have trust issues with people. The girls I knew end up abusive towards me. Physically, mentally and emotionally. And the few friends, including female friends, worth having in my life were the people who abandoned me. So I've gotten used to being alone now.

And don't get me started on being friends who guys who actually did stop hanging out with me because of jealous girlfriends.. So I was not sure if they hated, distrusted, me. Or they distrusted their boyfriends.

That happened frequently too.. So having every trust issue that I have been through. I tend to push people away, before they push me away.

Yeah. Regardless of sexuality, I just can't see the BTS boys in any ship that isn't a familial ship. Kinships? Something like that. Like.. I am fine with side ships but not main ships. Nothing against people who enjoy those ships though. People should read and write their own stories.

I haven't officially came up with a nickname yet... But you might know by now that I'm the verbose anon who never even knows how to keep messages shorter than what I respond with. That may be a give away.

I finally FINALLY have the time and proper mental space to reply to this!!! Lemme dig in!!

I never thought you were ignoring me dear!! don't worry I know we all have out social limits and sometimes you just need to not be a person for a while in order to recharge. I think it's incredibly kind that you are aware of your mindset when interacting with folks and chose not to interact when you know it isn't in the best place. But please know that I'm here if you ever need to vent or need a little sprinkle of colour or kindness in life. Depression is so hard and I would never treat you differently because of it <3

I'm so so sorry the guitarist from your fav band is leaving 😔. I hope it's so that they can better their health or for the best at least. And if not, i personally find a comfort in knowing that you had them in the band for as long as you did, and you can always go back to old videos and music to reminisce. But again that's a personal coping mechanism of mine.

You're not overreacting. If this is your favourite band I'm going to assume they play rather large role in your life. So it's completely understandable to have big feelings about it. If the guitarist from my favourite band was leaving I would have enormous feelings about it as he's been with the band since 2003. Like. It's something that's a big deal. Your reaction is super valid.

Emoji's are dumb like that sometimes unfortunately. I'm happy to use whichever emoji you'd like. Or a psued if you want. Both work for me. But I usually know it's you , you're memorable!

And I can respect that. I would never push you to not be like that, I just want you to know that I'm here if you need it. The anon part of tumblr is a beautiful feature that way. Talking to strangers who are also friends without the pressure of them actually knowing. It's a very amazing type of human connection. And I find it easier to tell filks things when it can't fall back on me. Like a living diary almost. I find it super cool at least. An annonymous form of community you can't really replicate anywhere else. Beautfiul when you think about it.

Ahhh gotcha!! RE: side ships and pairings. Totally makes sense!!

I'm not someone who can be triggered easily, I semi-regularly consume darker content/ dead dove type (mainly out of loving jealously for the folks who write it so well. my ass could never) so as long as the terms you chose are talked about with respect or in proper terminolog I dont see myself being upset.

Your style sounds like what I would dress as if i had a bit more courage. I'd love to dye my hair again and get so many pericings and tats but i haven't quite gotten myself there yet. Hell, my mum has more tats than me. Just go ther sleeve done a year or two ago and is working on her next one soon! It's just something about that particular style that's comfortable to me, but my neurodivergence (AuADHD) makes permanent alterations to my body freak me out a bit, hence the need for courage. It's more of a mental block than anything,

Also it is 100% me who always goes off topic so fear not! you fit right in if you slip once of twice too!

Half of my closest decade(s) long friendships are with guys so I absolutely agree with you. I never dated any of them and neither did the other girls in the friend group. We've all known one another (as in all of us in the group knowing everyone in the group) since 9th grade and we're turning 25 this year. So it's absolutely possible. People just like to think it's not.

I was similar. When I think of my childhood and my childhood frienships, all of my girl friends were neighbours, whereas all of my school friends were primarily guys, and for the same and similar reasons you've mentioned. I was primarily raised by my dad and I only have brothers so it makes sense to me why I hung out with guys more. And I had a similar experience where girls were just mean to me for no reason and I couldnt at the time figure it out. I know why now that I'm older. But still, that hurts when you're young so you're more likely to go and be with those who feel safer to be with.

I knew i felt a certain type of similarity between out experiences and the shared diagnosis' makes so much sense. Folks treat me very different once I mention that ASD is the reason I dont undertsand things they way they tell me too or whatever the situation is. It's actually why I left my last job. They wouldn't accomodate me and my performance suffered to much as did my mental health.

"many female friends were jealous of me for whatever reasons they had. I'm not being conceited. They were actually jealous of me for any reasons I don't know." My mum saw this when i was younger too. She said i was (and am) "intimidating" and so people would try their best to knock me down a peg. hence the jealousy when their couldnt or when the realised that they wanted what i had. I've accepted it now, and silently acknowledge it. But once again, it still hurt the little girl who couldn't figure out why she was treated so differently.

'The girls I knew end up abusive towards me. Physically, mentally and emotionally. And the few friends, including female friends, worth having in my life were the people who abandoned me. So I've gotten used to being alone now." I'm truly sorry you had to/ have to deal with this. Not in a pitying way, but in a 'human to human I see and acknowledge the things you've gone through in your life' way. I hope you are able to one day build and find for yourself a lovely group of humans who love and respect you for you. Who don't tear you down like the horrible people before them, and instead lift you up. I will happily be a part of that, should you like to have me, just so you know. I may be words on a screen, but there is a person behind them who sees you.

The girlfriend situation of guy friends is something I have very fortunately not had to deal with as I usually end up being their friend too. I have a habit of wanting everyone to feel accepted and included in spaces I exist in, and it commonly plays to my favour. But I have had and heard second hand experiences with this, and it's just awful. And we can reiterate to earlier where guys and girls can be friends without anything going on. I have never understood girls who cut their guys off from perfectly normal and healthy female frienships.

Pushing folks away before they push you is absolutely a coping mechanism I understand. Breaking through that was one of the more difficult things I've been trying to learn as an adult. That some rare folks actually want to be there for me, and truly have no ill intentions. I hope you are able to one day have this as well, to which, once again, I will happily be one, should you want.

Perfectly respectable opinion on the boys and relationships. I have nothing to add other than I agreee completey.

And yes XD I am usually able to tell it's you by the length!! I just know some folks like having a tag to make searching for thir asks easier! I know I did before i had tumblr. It just made tracking what I'd sent in way easier! No rush tho!

Hope you are well, darling <3. Always lovely chatting with you.

[mongreldyke]

dhole relistens to pasithea powder s1 teasers thru e2 (spoilers for a few later eps in the season)

s1 teasers:

god elinor lopez is so fucking girlboss (slash derogatory) CAPTAIN SOPHIE GREEN ITS MY BEST FRIEND CAPTAIN SOPHIE GREEEEEEN HGH. i missed her jane gonzalez you are sooo <333 i am endlessly enamored with you and a little in love with you also GOD the voice acting in this show is so good

e1:

sophie's "i had to ask somebody for this" the fucking. the fucking contrast in even just a few episodes! she doesn't actually hate her, really :((( she hates herself most of all even if she doesn't know why :((( i'm so mentally normal about this podcast <3 (i was able to mouth sophie's whole rant almost Word For Word! yeah) "this is sophie btw. sophie green. call me back." "captain green! i'm afraid you're mistaken." two of the most iconic lines of ALL TIME i'm so gay about the whole "sophie yelling drunkenly into the comm link" bit its not even funny I AM SO GAY ABOUT THE WHOLE "JANE BEING PATRONIZING AND EXPLAINING EVERYTHING" BIT ITS NOT EVEN FUNNYYY ewwww blanc. murder death kill "its funny but, whenever you call my captain green i actually believe it" that whole bit runs through my mind rent freeeee. i think i recorded myself saying it at some point "and will gut you. kidding?" the way jackie hedeman does the delivery on these is so insane hrgh she shook his hand so hard she scared him! shes what kept him from cracking up! h. some cute old euphemism for no easy way home :((( :((((((

the lettuce monologue. awful.

e2:

sophie's immediate reaction that is almost childlike and realizing they arent kids anymore. god i'd be one of those kids with weird hair fawning over u sorry sophie green anders li <3333 i love u anders li <33333333 girlboss sophie, drugging people with baking soda. fr me when janes vocal fry. im very gay! jane in the closet joke jane in the closet joke no one wants to see what they do out of the public eye! god knowing sophi doesnt believe her for another three episodes. :((( "what, no? what? SPEAK UP. forgive me im not in jail, im in holding. i'm being held, it's very romantic" sophie green woozy face emoji. i am so enraptured by u sophie ball kicker green she said she doesn't know when to turn it off :(( "like shush, please, say no more. i said no more. she said, "i know you see them too." then she gave me the smallest, saddest smile and left. i nearly burst out crying right there, i- i can't handle this anymore, jane." no comments. im just sobbing YOU MUST SO YOU CAN SO YOU WILL. HGH. jane sounding like a giddy high school boy with "you got into a fight with alegros" i love her "or was he afraid to give his secrets away to the military?" heugauheugauegh jane's actual worry seeping in while she talks about her cover story ahagahagahgah. she has gone through so much i will say that "these two guards are working together" could just mean theyre both buds who wanted a cut of the funds but also jane definitely has experience with government conspiracies so i do get it! PEOPLE FROM THE SKY ARE EXACTLY THE SAME COLOR AS THEY ARE ON THE GROUND UNTIL THEY GET HIT BY WHATEVERS RAINING DOWN ON THEM AND THEN THEY ARENT ANYMORE. sophie you are SO full of guilt. hurgles. black bean burgers, are you making plans to kill yourself. i think the guy i was partnered with giggled the whole time i think i did too. (said so flatly. said so matter of factly because she knows its real now. she does she's seen it) im going to chew glass sometimes i think about mia and lia very hard theyre something alright effite, debauched. etc etc etc. im fucking sick of it. i want to crack skulls over it but all the skulls are most likely long dissolved and it wouldnt make any difference anyway!! "Yes, obviously, I wanted to drain the bar. It's been a while since I did that and this was looking like the night for it. I was already thinking of how I could layer all that liquor. Sunsets and Blue Giants, so much color, and you don't even have to fly to ship to see it." <- most inconsequential line to make me insane AGENT CULLEN TIME! he is so mildly offputting in these next few episodes <3 sophie's voice cracks make me feel emotions fr. cullen time!!!!

[buglyknight]

1275) X. Lamprey on the Fish Hook and the Warmth of your Chest

I. Sober at the doorway

I am helping you unpack the boxes

After moving

We've sorted the clothes out

You keep way too many black t-shirts

As I walk in, you have dinner cooking

I'm drinking a little, if you want to join me?

There's fireball in your glass

DON'T SAY YES

II. Tipsy in the kitchen

You walk away for a moment

The fireball is down the hatch before you're back

Alright, which one do you like the least?

I end up choosing the green apple captain morgan

you said you and he drank together

I start taking small shots

I sit down on the couch with your cat

The way you sing off key freely

Parade around the kitchen, cooking

Then go right back into singing beautifully

I am staring, already

KEEP YOUR SEATBELT FASTENED

Jacob, I think I'm fucked up.

I'm a lot more drunk than I thought

DON'T SAY IT.

Alright, I'll meet you there.

I take another drink and watch

As your cat sits on me

III. Drunkards at the table

The bottles are almost empty

You set down the spaghetti and chicken

I only eat the vegetables

You tell me to post all the poems

Without hesitation, I listen

You compliment them,

but don't read too long

We're too drunk.

Making fun of the sad emoji

You're playing the tough bitch, now.

I'm not in love with anybody else

Yes. That's what I needed to hear.

The fish hook rips the lips from my face.

Well, except you, obviously

I bite back down

Ensure it's piercing through my gums, now

Did you do that on purpose?

I can't see myself with anyone else

The pole bends

You don't reel it in

I float expectantly downstream

Jacob, I'm really drunk

I try to pull your glass of fireball away

No - I'm still gonna drink that

I try again later, but, you drink it anyway

VI. Drunkards on the floor

I am usually vomiting by this point

Alone into the toilet for two hours

You grab the couch cushion for me and lay adjacent

Your skin.

I can never get this drunk with you again.

I can't get this drunk with you again. You repeat.

Why are you next to me?

When did my hand get beneath your shirt?

What is happening? Is this happening?

Am I dreaming?

THE SEMI TRUCK COLLIDES WITH A BUTTERFLY.

THE SEMI TRUCK IS FLATTENED.

WHEN DID I FLY THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD?

STUPID ROACH. THE HOOK IS IN YOUR SKULL

WHAT HAPPENED?

This must have been an accident, right?

My clumsy drunken hands just went too high?

THE FISH HOOK IS IN YOUR BRAIN

NEVER FIND PEACE.

NEVER ESCAPE.

A LAMPREY FINDS FRESH BLOOD

You keep apologizing for the size of your breasts

As if I could find a single flaw in the warmth of your chest

You moan beneath my touch

My hands map your skin

My nerve damaged finger weeps at its loss

As the rest of my body sings

The butterflies I am killing are being reborn

Cocoons burst in radiance and fly

Double vision, I see you in black-out pieces

HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? YOU MONSTER.

LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND WITNESS A HORROR.

YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T.

YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T!

DEFILER. IS THIS WHAT YOU ARE?

IS THIS WHAT YOU HOPED FOR?

SICK AND TWISTED ROACH.

I remember pulling my hand away in shock

Trying to give you the chance to get away from me

As I try to make your butterflies burst, too.

You don't leave.

How long until we stood up?

V. Drunkards in the bathroom

Both of us go into two separate bathrooms

I lay on the floor in the fetal position for 2 hours.

You vomit into the toilet and fall asleep

I don't remember you checking on me

I regret not being able to rub your back as you throw up

Why wasn't I there?

I wake up on the tile.

VI. Drunkards in bed.

I exit the room and see you in bed,

We're both alright, in this spinning world.

I don't make it to the couch

Is it alright if I lay with you?

Down to my boxer-briefs

You wrap your arm around me

Your head on my shoulder

For once, for once, for once, for once, for once

Can I stay here?

I fall asleep like a rock, unmoving

Wake up with you still there, next to me

Every dream, every dream, every dream, every dream, every dream

You said I barely stirred

How could I, with you there?

Just this once.

A mistake we both make.

I am prepared for it, this time.

I need to get up

15 more minutes, that's when my alarm rings

You lay your head against me

I swallow the words I've always wanted to say.

I know, Roach.

Once I leave this bed.

Back to boundaries.

Our skin mustn't touch.

I must become rubber.

VII. Sober in the living room

It's that nausea that sits with you

10 am rings out.

We get out of bed

Make tea and breakfast

We didn't open a single one of the boxes

I stay on my side of the couch

You read the rest of my poems

I have to go to work.

VIII. Two bugs are two

The day goes by

Left and right brain in war.

Gunfire synapses.

I remember your chest and get butterflies

I remember your chest and force them down

I remember your chest and my neck snaps

I remember your chest - what is wrong with me?

A flamethrower in my nauseated guts

My heart feels too fast

My chest feels empty

Burn them to cinders

It never should have happened.

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. Guilty.

I'll become rubber.

I still come by the next night

You make a joke about it

Why do you forgive me?

I am the horror beneath the bed.

The genetic consequence of monsters.

IX. Two bugs - Living room

We don't go through the boxes, still

Too nauseous for my cookie

You beat me 59 to 70 at Abducktion

The score is now... 10 to 4?

You're catching up...

You keep saying

You're so smart - so smart - so smart

You should be condemning me.

Why are you smiling and laughing?

How can you not find me ugly?

I apologize a third time

You tell me it's alright, again.

Who is going to hold me accountable?

Who is going to take me to the gallows?

Why are you so nice to me?

So good to me?

Can't you just -

Do what the rest of them do?

I'm a horrible person &

I should never find peace &

The worst person at the table &

Nobody would notice if I disappeared &

I make it hard to tell me 'I love you' &

My mother revokes it, herself &

I'm hitting you because it's my job.

Why can't you just be mean?

Why won't you just violate me?

Why won't you just tell me

It'll never be me?

I'm so undeserving of this sweetness

Sour my body until it prunes

Hold me under the water

Until I stop gasping for air

X. Two bugs - exit

The goodbyes are always brief

No touching. Just leaving.

Drive safe, please, the roads are wet.

Goodnight and sweet dreams

As I walk away I feel the

Piercing tug in my brain

Hook. Line. Sink.

[gay-and-also-sad]

Homophobia, Trauma, Healing

Understanding trauma means understanding yourself. I am starting to believe that no one gets out of this life completely unscathed. No matter who you are, trauma will come for you. Sometimes it’s something that seems insignificant, sometimes it’s so gargantuan it will cast a shadow on the rest of your days, and sometimes it’s like a steady drip of water onto your forehead, pattering onto you until you go insane. 

Family really is the Chinese water torture of trauma. It drips on you all childhood until one day you’re an adult and you go to college, forgetting all about the pressure on your skull. Drops aren’t worth thinking about, and your forehead is dry now anyway. So you go about your days, attending classes like nothing bad has ever happened to you. 

And nothing bad has ever happened to you, to your knowledge. That is until Thanksgiving rolls around, and your mouth is full of turkey as the dripping begins again. Now though, it’s unbearable. Once you’ve felt the comfort and warmth of being dry, the drops feel like a torrential downpour. Your chest is tight for the rest of dinner, and you’re left wondering what happened.

I was talking to my girlfriend the other day about this weird thing I would do in college. I now think it was the beginning of my realization that I had been a victim of the family-style water torture. At the time I thought I was going a little insane. 

While I was working, or walking to class, or taking a study break, I would spend hours a day thinking about things that my family had said, or might say, and I would have these imagined arguments with them in my head. I remember how they would fill me with this white-hot rage. I remember certain things would trigger it, too. If I saw an article about Republicans trying to pass homophobic legislation, I would seethe thinking about how my family wouldn’t see an issue, or worse, agree with it. 

I had a whole script ready for the day my aunt had something to say about transgender people. The rant had the perfect amount of Biblical legitimacy, scientific evidence, and irrefutable logic. Still, when I would recite that rant to myself, testing out every single response she could possibly have, I was so angry. 

For a long time I knew I needed to stop doing this. I knew it was unhealthy. I even had a hard time understanding why I was doing it. These fake arguments never made me feel better after; in fact I almost always ended up feeling much worse after it was all through. Even my partner at the time had an issue with the way I would engage with these things. So why was I doing it? 

Every once in a while I would have a glimpse into my own psyche. It was always when they would finally do it, they’d finally say one of the things I had been waiting for them to say. And I had it; I had the perfect response ready. 

I remember one time in the middle of a shift at my college custodian gig, I got a text. It was on the family group chat, a continuation of a conversation from the day before. They had been discussing that one of my aunt’s friends had met Mike Pence. So far, I had managed to keep myself out of the conversation, but this text was one I couldn’t ignore. 

As always, I had waited patiently for them to give me a reason to retaliate. This time it came in the form of a photo of my aunt’s friends with ol’ Michael, with a caption that said he was ‘incredible, kind, humble’ and ‘a genuine believer’. Of course I knew these things weren’t true, and now that a value judgment had been made it was my time to strike. 

So of course, with all of my practice I knew exactly what to say. I responded ‘yaaas we love a kind, humble, and homophobic king’, with a bunch of heart-eye emojis because of course I did. I remember sitting in a bathroom I was supposed to be cleaning, physically shaking as I wrote out that message. 

That message did start a conversation, during which I did say some things I am actually proud of, although I do still think my initial response was rather funny. I think that incident was the beginning of me understanding exactly what was going on with myself. Before that I couldn’t put my finger on it, but once that happened, the light began to shine through. 

There was a common theme to all of the fake arguments I would have with my family. They were all about their bigotry. I had never had a fake argument about foreign policy, or student debt, or the economy, or anything like that. Every time I found myself imagining these fights, it was always about bigotry. These episodes would also very often be triggered by something I saw in the news that I knew these relatives would agree with. The BLM protests in early 2020 somehow damaged my relationship with my grandmother, even though we’d only had one conversation about it. 

So, what was going on? This didn’t make any sense. The bigoted things my relatives had said to me were few and far between, and I had spent time creating this compilation of things that they hadn’t said to me. I had seen the tip of the iceberg, and created my own behemoth underneath the surface. Now, I admit that does sound very unfair to them. I shouldn’t be ascribing views to them that they haven’t come out and said themselves. I don’t know for sure that my grandma is glad that Roe got overturned, I mean she’s never told me that directly. 

But that’s the funny thing about it, every time I thought my iceberg of bigotry was unfair, they would say something out loud that I had put in the iceberg. That would always, inevitably, give me the sense that I was right in all of my assumptions. Everything they said to me now was unsurprising. 

Every homophobic comment, every mildly racist line, every facebook post they made, it all reinforced my view of their beliefs. To this day, they have not said anything to me that has surprised me in terms of their opinions. I know it’s taboo to come right out and say this, but at least for the relatives I’m talking about, I have a pretty good idea of the things they believe even if they haven’t said it explicitly. 

That’s the thing with bigoted views, if you have them, you’re unlikely to think very differently from other bigots. Of course there’s a difference between a TERF and a ‘yer dad’ type transphobe, but neither will tell me something about trans people that I haven’t heard before. 

So, a part of my behavior made sense. The practicing I was doing in my head was paying off. Eventually they would say something, and I would have the correct talking points to counter it. But the thing was, I also had the correct talking points to counter the opinions they had on the ‘welfare state’, but I wasn’t neurotically creating arguments in my head where my grandma would talk about fraudulent food stamps, I was creating arguments in my head where she would call me a slur. 

Finally, years later I have a girlfriend, and I’ve come out to them as bisexual. (Extremely fun experience 10/10 definitely won’t be writing a blog about that later.) It’s been over a year since I’ve been that angry from just thinking about what someone could say, but now I know why I would make these bigotry plays. 

I think I would do this as a way to recover from the water torture that was growing up around people with bigoted views. For so long, I had just sat there while they made these comments. I remember one time I mentioned a gay person, and my aunt turned to her son and said ‘that's when two boys kiss, that’s gross, right?’ And, as the child that I was, I sat frozen, unable to counter that. Of course now we both know she can’t get away with saying things like that around me. 

I wasn’t out as bisexual back then, in fact I didn’t even know I was queer at all. It sure felt like my family did though. I always felt othered, uncomfortable when they would make homophobic comments. Since I didn’t know why these words made me feel so awful about myself, I grew up saying nothing. I think these internal monologues were a way for me to fight back against the bigoted specters of the adults from my childhood. 

Once I began to counter their bigoted statements as an adult, the anger began to subside. I remember when I was twenty, and I would snap at my family when they would say something awful. There was such a rage behind my voice that I knew they weren’t listening. I had to get it out though, I had to say something. 

Now I’m glad I said something. I think actually saying something did more healing than arguing with a fake version of their bigotry ever could. When they say something awful now, I’m able to counter it calmly, in a way that they will listen to. That was always my goal in college. I really believe people are generally good, that they’re capable of change. There is a certain level of finesse needed when pointing out someone needs to change though. 

I was always so frustrated when my grandpa would say a slur, and I would snap at him, angrily telling him to never say that again. I knew he wouldn’t be receptive to that, and in fact, I may have pushed him further into his bigotry. I do think those times were more for me than they were for anyone else. I think it’s a necessary stage though, to get to a place where you can respond in a way they will be receptive to.

I’m finally at that stage. The final evolution where you become some sort of a ‘bigot whisperer’. They’ll listen to you, and at least in my experience, they will get a little better. There was a brief window where I saw a future where I could attend family gatherings without having a full blown trauma response afterward. 

Then, I got a girlfriend. Once the bigotry is directed back at you, all bets are off. Now I felt like I was back at square one, unable to calmly engage with them. Part of that was because it was digging up all of the childhood trauma I had from their homophobia, and part of it was because of the sheer weight of it all. I have had nearly a full year of every sphere of my life being infiltrated by queerphobia. I’ve lost friends, had to endure transphobic threats at work, and now my family was being very really extremely normal about it. 

So what’s the point of all this rambling? Two things, I think. One is that growing up around homophobes is traumatic, no matter how mild it is. For years I’ve been experiencing symptoms of it. Sure, the comments were few and far between. The comment my aunt made about gay people being ‘gross’ was honestly the worst one I think I’ve heard from them. Over the years though, it’s been hundreds of mild comments that paint a picture. 

Now they’re part of the mosaic of homophobia. A small piece in a machine that exists only to crush me and people like me. Their piece may be small, but I think I was hyper fixating on it because it’s the only piece I felt like I had the power to change. It’s also the only piece that exposed me to homophobic religious trauma for my entire childhood, no matter how mild it was. 

That much was easy enough for me to understand. It’s hard to accept that something so small can traumatize you. It makes you feel weak. But then you remember that at least you weren’t telling a 12-year-old how being gay is a sin, because that is infinitely more pathetic. 

I think there’s another realization that is important to make, and it’s one that has been very difficult for me. Homophobia is traumatic, yes, that’s true, but the thing that was difficult for me to realize is that it needs to be treated the same way as any other trauma. 

I’ve been having such a hard time standing up for myself because homophobia is so socially acceptable today. Most people do not understand how incredibly fucked up it is to sit someone down and tell them, ‘I have no problem with you being gay, but I do ask that you refrain from showing affection to your girlfriend in my house’. 

I know that is an insane sentence. I know that the second half completely negates the first half, but the reality is that there is an entire political ideology set up to convince people that that is a perfectly acceptable sentence to say. So every time I fold, and I try to explain the insanity to the person, instead of rejecting it outright. 

The correct response to that sentence is, ‘You obviously do have a problem with me being gay, and I will not be coming to your house any longer’. But instead I spend hours trying to get that person to understand why that sentence upsets me, to get them to see my point of view. The truth is, there are mountains of social messaging that tell that person that since they said they ‘don’t have a problem with gay people’, whatever they say afterward isn’t homophobic. 

It very clearly is, and saying homophobic things to a gay person is traumatic. Doubly so when you then act like there’s no reason for the gay person to be upset with you. Triply so when you then accuse the gay person of oppressing you. 

It’s pure insanity. The likes of which you typically only see from narcissists and emotional abusers. And queer people should have no qualms treating these homophobic ‘opinions’ the same way you would treat a verbally abusive parent. 

At least for me, I get a lot of guilt about doing that. I know why they believe the things they do, I know they sincerely believe their homophobia doesn’t hurt me. So, I feel guilty for making them feel bad for their bigotry. I feel guilty for making them realize how horrible they’ve treated me. I am trying to move past that guilt, because I think I owe it to myself to stand up for myself without apology. 

It is sometimes necessary to engage with homophobes in the same way you would an emotional abuser. You should put yourself first. If you feel like you can’t handle a conversation, you should leave. You should set your boundaries firmly and stick to them. You should engage in a conversation only when they seem open to change and you feel like you can handle it. 

If having a relationship with your biological family is something that is very important to you, then you should make your best attempt to keep those relationships. But I beg you, please do not let those relationships come at a detriment to your mental health. If these people really care about you, they’ll eventually realize how their homophobia hurts you and change. If you find yourself in fight or flight at the Christmas dinner table though, it might be time to leave. 

The only thing I feel I have left unaddressed is how the bigoted members of my family feel about all of this. Empathy can only go so far. Some of these people want you to have so much empathy that you will let them wipe their shoes on you because they are dirty. Don’t be a doormat. You deserve so much more.

[kwockxpressions]

Ricky Nocon

1. Name, Year, Major & Hometown

Ricky (Richard) Nocon, 2nd Year Managerial Economics Major from San Francisco, CA.

2. What are you most proud of?

I’m proud of myself for getting more involved with extracurriculars/opportunities this year.

3. If you could choose a Sanrio character as a pet, which one would it be and why?

Uh don’t know what this is and after looking it up I don’t want any.

4. What is the biggest green flag in someone?

The biggest green flag in someone is someone who is considerate of others.

5. What’s your biggest ick?

Biggest ick would be people who don’t value other people’s time.

6. If you were Kirby, who/what would you swallow and become?

If I were Kirby, I’d swallow Jon Jones for his fight iq, but I do not want his personal decision-making skills lol.

7. What’s the most embarrassing moment in your life?

The most embarrassing moment in my life was getting a bloody nose during a final and bleeding everywhere lol.

8. When’s the last time you cried?

Like over a year ago.

9. What’s your most used emoji?

The crying emoji 😭 or skull emoji 💀

10. What do you value in friendship and tell me about your best friend?

I value loyalty, kindness, and a good time when it comes to friends. I also value people who genuinely have my best interests at heart, even if they have to call me out and keep me in check. While I’m not trying to make friendships seem like a transaction, I really dislike friendships that seem one sided. I am always willing to go above and beyond for my good friends and I expect them to be able to do the same for me. I think as I get older, I place more emphasis on good friends and for those who cannot meet that standard I distance myself. It may sound cold, but I understand that my time is limited and as I get older my free time will go decline, so I want to dedicate my time to those who do the same for me. As for best friends, I don’t really have one singular best friend. I kind of have two groups of best friends. The first group consists of two of my best friends I’ve known since preschool. I know with 100% certainty that I can rely on them for anything. The other group I’ve known since middle school. I hang out with them the most and we all bring something different to the table that makes hanging out really fun. However, if I had to choose someone as my best friend it would be my older brother. I’ve done everything with him, and we share similar interests. He’s definitely someone I look up to and someone I can rely on with 100% certainty.

[social-muffin]

Hello! Hope you're having a great day. Here are a few of those emoji's from that I wanted to ask! 🥺✨️🎯🎶🌞👀🥰💌

Okay, so... yeah. That's more than a few, lol. Have fun!!!!

Thank you for the ask my dear! I hope you're having a wonderful day too!! 💞

No readmore cause this didn't turn out that super long :3

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

Oh this is a tough one cause Hurt/comfort is one of my big weaknesses. So I'm gonna just explain two interactions!

I catch the biggest feels when a more reserved character can't contain their emotions anymore and has a somewhat public breakdown. Made even better if someone cares enough to try to hide them/hug them!

I also catch the feels when misunderstandings are cleared up in a shouting match. It doesn't even have to be between two people that get along. Just let people be so emotional that they forget to control their volume! 😭💜

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

I'm really proud of my old writing, so this is a compliment for my new/not posted writing! It sparks a lot of joy when I read through my notes, even if I'm not ready to post anything yet. ;u;

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

I feel like yes, people have guessed major plot points before, but it's only happened a few times? And I can't recall any of the times when it did happen. It also happens a lit taht someone will suggest something happening and I fall in live with the idea and then I just. Steal ideas from comments with credit to the commenter in the next chapter. 👉👈🥺

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I do listen to things when I write! I can't write in absolute silence. But the music/video I listen to varies a lot. I mostly look for music compilation type things, so I will for sure have music for like an hour at least. Or I listen to chemistry videos while I write, though I don't know why that one works lmao

🌞 Do you have a preferred time of day to write?

I can write anytime, but my most emotional writing happens at around 3 am usually. Which is not conducive to having a day job. 😔 Especially since I need 8 hours of sleep to function! 😧

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Hibari has taken over my brain and demands I write for him. For one of the up and coming fics I'll try to write is Teen!Hibari's POV of the future arc! It'll be a mega self indulgent thing with a lot of headcanons and quite a few OCs, just because. Where the hell did he go and what did he do inbetween his arrival and the end of the future arc???

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

I am so open to receiving questions I made a whole ask blog specifically about my stories!! So if you have random questions, here's the place to as them! @ask-skull-and-muffin

💌 How do you feel about comments and feedback?

I feel that, for a while now, I'm being a bit of a glass canon about comments. Sometimes they are super motivating and get me to write 5000 words in a day! And other times a single comment can burn out my entire passion for a whole fic... It's pretty confusing to my soul.

I also have.... A shame I want to admit to here. 😔 A year or so ago I abruptly had the worst depressive episode of my life and I couldn't make myself reply to/answer comments as they came in at all for a good few months. So now there are 450 comments in my inbox and I think that's one of my biggest issues when it comes to getting back into writing properly... 😭

I'm so sorry to all my peoples that crave comments and don't get nearly enough! I wish I could give you some of mine, I swear! Feels like comments are a little wasted on me right now...

[atticsandwitch]

Obey me characters with an MC who does reckless things because they're afraid of being a burden.

Self indulgent, comfort, angst Less headcannons, more drabbles.

First, in a group chat without MC: House of Lamentation (7) Satan: I just found MC in the kitchen, trying to open a can with a chef knife. Mammon: WHAT Mammon: Why would they wanna do something like that?? Asmo: (Wide eyed emoji) Belphie: Yea, that's stupid even for Mammon Mammon: HEY! Satan: They couldn't find the can opener, and they said they didn't want to bother anyone. Levi: That's actually kind of cute. Levi: It's just like the main character of this anime I just started watching who acts really tough and independent, but deep down is afraid to ask for help and just wants to be loved! Satan: That's not all Lucifer: it's not? Satan: Solomon saw MC yesterday climbing the bookshelves in the RAD library. Satan: Apparently they'd reached the sixth shelf before he could levitate them and the book they needed back to the ground. Beel: Are all humans like this? Lucifer: No. It seems we've found a particularly troublesome one. Levi: Actually I saw them do something similar earlier this week. Asmo: Oh no. Asmo: I bet Mammon's having a heart attack rn Mammon: (sweaty nervous emoji) Levi: They were standing on the counter trying to reach something on the top of the cabinets waaaay in the back. Belphie: That's not that bad Levi: They were also standing on an upside down pot because they were still too short. Levi: and they were wearing heels. Lucifer: Everyone, make sure to keep an eye on MC as often as possible

Lucifer

Sighs out loud reading the group chat

"And here I thought I would just have to protect MC from demon attacks"

He decides to have a talk with you once he gets a little time, and not just about safety. He has a whole lecture planned out about climbing the book cases at RAD.

Unfortunately he's swamped with paperwork and bills to go through, so he doesn't have the chance to talk to you right away.

The next day, however, you're all invited to the Demon Lord's Castle for another overnight retreat, or event of some sort.

Everyone is having fun and causing a ruckus, as usual, and at some point during the evening the group loses you.

You excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, but the palace is so huge you get lost even with directions. At a certain point you know you can find your way back and ask for help, but you can't bring yourself to, and decide to press on to try to find it yourself.

Eventually you find yourself standing in front of an ornate mirror with no reflection. You stop and ponder it for a moment, and as you're about to step away you hear a whisper. You can't make out what it says, but it compels you to step closer. In a corner of the reflected room you notice what looks like a puppet made of bone, with blackened eyes.

"~MC~..." An ethereal whisper, "...c...l...oser..." and in a blink of your eye it's closer to you, and you've stepped closer without realizing it.

Your heart is racing, but you can't stop yourself from reaching out to the mirror. Is it really a mirror...? Another blink and the bone puppet is closer. It tilts it's head at you, and outstretches an arm.

You try to pull back, but realize you can't, you're now mirroring the actions of the puppet as it steps closer, and closer.

Suddenly your vision goes black and you're pulled backwards by the waist, away from the mirror.

After a moment, Lucifer removes his gloved hand from over your eyes, and spins you to face him. He looks worried, frightened almost, but soon regains his composure.

"I thought you were going to the bathroom, MC" He says

It takes you a second to form words again, "I... I was.... I got lost" You had to really think hard about it for a moment.

Lucifer sighs, "You know the castle can be dangerous. If you weren't sure where to go, why not ask someone to show you?"

You were feeling particularly vulnerable after what had just happened, and so decided to be deeply honest, "I'm afraid of being a burden..." you mumble.

He's surprised by the admission, but pulls you close.

"Of all the burdens I've had to shoulder in this life, I promise that you are not one of them, MC" He whispers into your hair as he kisses the top of your head.

Mammon

Immediately goes to find you after he finishes reading the group chat.

He finds you doing something dangerous with a knife again, and grabs your wrist to stop you.

"Oi, human!" He only calls you that when he's angry, which is rare, "What do ya think yer doin'?"

"I'm just-" he cuts you off

"I don' wanna hear it!"

"Then why did you ask?" you're stare at him. Mammon's face reddens and he realizes he's still holding your wrist, so he gently takes the knife out of your hand and sets it down.

"I mean- What's goin' on with ya lately? Everyone says yer doin' a buncha dangerous stuff!" He put his hands on his hips and only resumes eye contact as he finishes his sentence.

"What do you-?"

"Like climbin' bookshelves, and whatever this is-!" He gestures to the knife and you look away. You're silent for a while; too long for Mammon to take, "C'mon, MC, talk to me" His voice finally softens, arms dropping to his sides. You finally meet his eyes, and the look of concern on his face is heartbreaking.

"I like doing things myself..." you can tell he's not buying it, "I... I just don't want to be a burden..." You admit quietly, voice wavering somewhat.

His eyes go wide, "...MC..." he says softly. Mammon pulls you in for a tight hug, one arm wrapping around your shoulders, and the other hand resting on the back of your head, and holds you like he'd do anything in the world to protect you, which he would.

"Listen up, 'cuz Mammon's gonna give you some free advice" you hear a sniffle, and realize he's crying.

His human was hurting like this, and he never even noticed. What kinda demon am I? He thought, but he knew this wasn't about him right now, so he held you tighter.

"You will never be a burden to me...Ya got that?"

Leviathan

Thinks its pretty adorable that you actually seem to be a little tsundere.

Because of this, and his social anxiety, he doesn't confront you about it right away. Not until the jellyfish incident anyway.

One night you're hanging out with Levi in his room, when you notice that one of his jelly fish decorations had fallen to the ground. So, you decide to string it back up for him.

You looked around, Levi absorbed in his game, and tried to judge the distance between the edge of the bed-tub and the ceiling. That should do it! you think, and climb the edge of the bed-tub. The edge was difficult to balance on, but you knew you'd be careful, and you could almost reach.

Levi turned around just in time to see you, arms stretched too far over your head and on your tip toes on the edge of the tub, and watched as you lose balance completely. He saw it, you were going to fall backwards toward the other side of the tub and crack your head!

Now, he may not be as fast as Mammon, but he is still a demon after all, and just as you felt the jolt of the fall as your foot slipped, you felt arms around your middle, pulling you forcefully forward.

Leviathan had jumped to your rescue, unconsciously changing into his demon form, discarding his controller unceremoniously to the floor, and in his panic underestimated his own strength.

The two of you ended up both landing on the floor, you on top of a very red Leviathan.

"Wh-wh-what were you doing normie?! You were about to fall and crack your skull on the tub!"

You guiltily hold up the jellyfish, "I was just trying to fix it"

"Well get a ladder next time!" It's taking everything in Levi to ignore the position your both in, because its' just like that time in- nevermind, this is more important.

"All you had to do was say something! I was sitting right there!" He still hasn't let you go. He sees the look on your face change into something he can't quite get a read on, but whatever it is, is also full of sadness. "You could have died just then, MC. Why wouldn't you just ask for some help?" His voice is softer, "I was right there" and softer still, almost desperate.

"I..." He could tell whatever you were about to say was difficult for you, "I'm just so afraid of being a burden"

He's heartbroken, "You're my best friend, my player two, my Henry th-the- the person I love" He goes red again and quickly continues as if to bury the words beneath more words, "You're a lot of things, MC, but you're not a burden"

Asmodeous

Worrying is bad for the skin. Worrying is bad for the skin. Worrying is bad for the skin. But he can't help it.

One night you get home particularly late, and none of the brothers have seen you. They were about to send out a search party when you finally came home.

When he finds out you walked home alone again, and were so late because you got lost, that's when he finally decides to confront you.

"You walked home alone again? And took WHICH street?! MC don't you know how dangerous it is for a human in the Devildom, especially one with no real magical powers? Not to mention in that area!"

How were you supposed to know? You were lost. He knows these things, but doesn't give you a chance to point them out.

"Beel saw you leave right after classes. If you were so lost why didn't you call one of us?" he asks. The worry and exasperation is plain in his voice.

"I..." you start, "I didn't want to bother anyone that's all" but he can tell there's more to it than that.

"Why are you so worried about bothering us? Don't you know we care about you?" He asks, concern slowly turning to sadness.

"I just don't want to be a burden..."

His eyes go wider than before, which you didn't think was possible. "What in the three realms would give you the idea that you're a burden? MC, you're so precious to me, and if anything were to ever happen, I-"

He begins welling up with tears and pulls you into a tight hug.

"MC, I was worried sick. We all were. Please... Come to me when you need help... I love you"

Satan

He walked in and found you trying to use a chef knife to open a can, brought you the can opener, and ultimately left; not entirely sure what to make of the situation yet.

The next time he saw you, you were climbing on top of an unsteady looking stack of books to reach something in the House's library.

Were those one of his stacks? Had you stacked them yourself? It didn't matter. What mattered was that the books all began slipping out from under you.

He rushed over, and caught you with ease as you fell, but your momentum ended up knocking you both to the ground.

He sighs, "What am I going to do with you?"

"Sorry, " you let out an embarrassed laugh, "Are you okay?"

"Yea, and you?" he asks. You nod, and he helps you up. To his confusion you immediately begin stacking the books back up.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asks, suspicious. It looks like you're about to try to climb the stack again.

"There's a book I need" He was right.

This must be how Lucifer feels. He sighs again, and grabs your hand to stop you.

"You can't keep doing stuff like this, MC. It's dangerous" He looks serious, but his cheeks are a little pink, "I'm worried about you. Why won't you ask for help?"

"I..." You start, but hesitate, averting your eyes.

"Tell me the truth, MC" Satan almost pleads, a sad look in his eyes.

"I don't want to be a burden... that's all..." You say, so quietly it's almost a sigh.

Suddenly it all made sense; the way you tried to hide when you were upset, how you always carried just a little too much, the way you always offered to help, even if there was little work to do... Why hadn't he put the pieces together before now?

"Then, I need you to do something for me" He says, after thinking a moment. He steps closer, "I need you to start asking for help,"

He pulls you close, and hugs you tightly, "I know it'll be difficult, but that's why I'll always be there for you"

He pulls away slightly, still holding you, to look into your eyes. His face is very red now, "I'll do whatever it takes to show you that you're not a burden," Kindness and determination burn in his eyes as he leans in for a kiss.

Beelzebub

He was walking down the hall when he spots you down at the other end near an open window.

The wind blew something out of your hand, so you leaned out the window to try to grab it. This is when Beel got worried, his instincts kicked in and he picked up his pace.

Your homework got caught by the wind, but stopped by some of the vines clinging to the House of Lamentation, so you leaned out the window but it was just out of reach. You knew you could get it if you could reach just a little further, so you lean out a little more... Just a little more...

Unfortunately that's when you lost balance, and felt yourself tip forward. You'd be out the window in no time flat, and then you'd be flattened on the ground.

Thankfully Beel was able to grab you by the waist and hoist you back inside to safety.

You thank him, and explain the situation but he still looks confused.

"Why wouldn't you just come get one of us? We could've easily gotten it down for you" he asks.

"I thought I'd be able to reach" you try, with an embarrassed and unconvincing smile.

"Tell me the truth, MC. Why are you so afraid to ask for help?"

"I don't want to be a burden..." You say softly, sadness written plainly on your face and in your voice.

"Oh" You look up and the sad, sympathetic look Beel gives you makes you want to cry. "I know the feeling"

"You do?" You ask, tears beginning to spill over

"You think I don't know how many problems my stomach causes for everyone?" He gives you a slightly more serious look, "But that doesn't matter" And now a reassuring, although still slightly sad smile, "Because the people who love and care about you will never think of you as a burden. And trust me, MC, there are plenty of people who love and care about you"

"Like who?" You didn't want to ask, part of your brain knew the answer, but you just had to silence those negative voices.

Beel blushed, "Like me" he says, then silently wipes the tears from your face and pulls you into the softest, safest hug you've ever felt.

Belphegor

He wasn't worried at all initially. Sure humans are fragile compared to demons, but they're not that fragile. Plus you've survived this long on your own and now you've got demons, angels, a prince, and a sorcerer all looking out for you. Not to mention the way brothers' tend to exaggerate.

He was laying outside under a large tree, intending to try out a new nap spot, when he saw you leaning out of the window.

He smiled and was about to wave when he realized something was wrong. You were leaning too far out of the window. You were going to-

He jolted upright like he'd been hit by lightning as he watched you lose your balance

He already knew there was no way he'd be able to make it to you in time, even with demonic speed.

Thankfully Beel was there. Belphie let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding when he saw Beel pull you back inside and got up to go make sure you're alright.

He realizes his brothers were right to be worried, and he's angry about it.

You're on your way back to your room by the time he catches up with you, but he can see that your eyes are red from crying, and his anger evaporates. He asks you what's wrong, and you explain everything.

Why you almost fell out the window, your conversation with Beel, and how you're afraid of being a burden.

"Well, Beel's right, you could never be a burden to any of us" He says, so don't even worry about it" he says, giving you an easy smile, despite how sad he felt for his human.

"That's... Easier said than done..." You reply, unconvinced.

"That's why I'll always be by your side, MC. I won't even give you the chance to worry about it!"

He pulls you into a hug and strokes your hair, starting the waterworks all over again. He'll hold you until you've calmed down again, and then pull you up to the attic where you two can make a pillow fort and nap.

He'll probably also start a tickle fight just to hear you laugh again.

Btw, who made you feel this way, MC, he just wants to murder torture talk.

Diavolo

Lucifer has shared his concerns, as he often does, so Diavolo is aware of your reckless nature. He finds it somewhat amusing, but mostly concerning.

It's during one of the events that he finally witnesses it for himself.

He always found it sweet how you tried to help everyone, and you were doing it again. You were running around helping all of the brothers with everything. He doesn't know how those seven managed without you before you came to the Devildom, and the way they rely on you is more than a little amusing.

This time you were helping Asmo with decorations, but he seemed to have disappeared somewhere, no doubt to fix his makeup, or to take a break to avoid sweating too much.

When Diavolo walked in his eyes went wide. You were using progressively taller stacks of chairs to climb the tallest stack in the room in order to hang decorations on the ceiling, and your arms were so full of supplies that there was no way you could balance properly on the already unsteady stacks.

He'd already made it to the base of the stacks when the one you were on started to wobble.

"MC!" he called out in a panic, but this seemed to startle you, and the jolt caused you, the stack of chairs, and all your decorations to come crashing down.

Diavolo caught you effortlessly, and shielded you from any flying chairs in the process.

"Mc, are you okay?" He asks, eyes still wide, "what in the Devildom were you thinking?"

"Sorry, I was just trying to help" you say

He feels anger towards the brothers creeping in the back of his mind. That they would leave you alone, with so much work, and still none of them are to be found after such a loud crash; it's unacceptable. But he pushes those thoughts back for now.

"That was dangerous, even for a demon. You could have been seriously injured just now," The look of concern on his face tugs at your heart.

"Sorry" you mumble again, "You can put me down, now... I should start cleaning up"

"Forgive me for being selfish," He smiles a little, "But I don't think I want to put you down just yet. The clean up can wait"

Your face reddens. You're not sure what to say to that, but you can't deny that it feels good to be held like this in his strong arms.

He looks briefly around at the mess of scattered chairs and decorations that you had intended to hang and clean up by yourself, "Tell me, MC," He looks back to you, "You seem to have a hard time asking for help, why is that?"

You're surprised by the directness of the question, and look away. He notices, and feels a bit guilty, but knows that if things continue the way they are, you will definitely get hurt one day.

"I guess it's because... I'm afraid of being a burden" you answer honestly. You feel that you owe him that much.

"I see..." He hums, then smiles happily, "Then perhaps I should carry you around until you admit that you are not a burden!"

"WHAT?" the look on your face makes him laugh heartily.

"Just kidding!" He chuckles, "...Maybe"

"Diavolo that's- I-"

"You are extraordinary, MC," There's a serious look on his face now, "In fact I could describe you in a million different ways, but the word 'burden' would never be among them"

He begins walking out of the room, still carrying you in his arms.

"What are you doing? What about the decorations?"

"I think I'd like to keep you to myself for the day, if that's alright with you, my dear" Diavolo smiles down at you.

As you two walk down the hall, away from the ballroom you hear the brothers' voices as they enter, "Whoa? What the heck happened in here?" Mammon exclaims.

Barbatos

He had invited you for tea, and you offered to help Barbatos make and serve it.

You try to carry too much, and in your rush drop the entire tray, shattering the beautiful tea set and all of the plates of desserts.

"I'm so sorry!" You immediately bend down and begin tying to pick up the pieces, "I'll replace it-" You stop as you realize that you're not sure you could even afford to replace a royal tea set.

"Allow me to help" Barbatos says, bending down.

"No, no, it's fine! I can get it!" You look up and give him an unconvincing smile, and while you're not paying attention to what you're doing, you slice your hand open on one of the sharp pieces of porcelain.

Barbatos pulls a roll of gauze and bandages out of one of his pockets, "Let's get this taken care of, shall we?" he says, but you're still picking up pieces with your other hand.

"I can do it, I just-..."

"It's only a tea set," As Barbatos stills your frantic hands, he notices your tears.

"I'm sorry," You finally say after a long moment of silence, during which he begins bandaging your injured hand, "I tried to help, but I was still only a burden after all..." Barbatos is surprised by this admission, to say the least.

"You should know that It makes me very happy to be able help and take care of people. I especially enjoy the way your face lights up with a tinge of surprise whenever I do something for you that you are not expecting..." He pauses in thought, and looks as though he's realized something that makes him sad, but whatever it is, he keeps it to himself. He finishes bandaging your hand, and places his on the side of your face.

"MC, It is a pleasure, and genuinely brings me joy to be able to do things for you. Please allow me to help you more often."

He takes a handkerchief out of his pocket and dries your tears.

He leads you to sit in a comfortable chair, "Please, rest until you feel better, and allow me to take complete care of you today"

He makes some tea and food for you both to share and makes sure you don't have to lift a finger for the rest of the day, leaving the broken tea set completely forgotten on the floor in the other room for the time being.

He always has kind words for you whenever you see each other, and while he enjoys your help in the kitchen, he always makes sure not to let you do too much, and he never lets you clean up.

He takes extra care of you from now on, and Diavolo finds it absolutely adorable, though he may be a tiny bit jealous.

Solomon

You might've actually given this man a heart attack.

He would've thought it was funny if it hadn't looked like the bookshelf was about to come crashing down on top of you.

"Don't worry! I'm used to climbing things; I'm careful!" You try to convince him, "That does not, in fact, make me feel any better, MC"

He dedicates time to teaching you a levitation spell or two, depending on your magical abilities, so you don't have to climb things any more.

As he's teaching you he decides to ask you about the book shelf incident.

"Something's been on my mind lately" He says, turning to you as you practice. You ask him what it is as you turn your attention to his face and notice that he looks troubled. "The other day, in the library. You knew I was there, sitting nearby... Why didn't you just ask for my help?"

"Oh, I just thought I could get the book myself" That wasn't the answer he was looking for, so he presses on.

"But surely it would've been easier to use a ladder, then. wouldn't it?"

"Well... I- uh- wasn't sure where they were" you sounded a little embarrassed, and turned your attention back to the spell.

Solomon looks a little saddened, "Hmm..." he pauses. You didn't want his help and you didn't even want to ask him a simple question? "MC, is there a reason you didn't want to ask me for help?" Watching you, he saw that the question gave you pause.

"I... have a hard time asking for help sometimes..." You admit, hoping that's the end of it. But of course, it isn't.

"Oh?" he gently prompts you to explain.

He can tell that you're only pretending to pay attention to the spell now, to avoid eye contact, "I've just always been afraid of being a burden"

His face grows sadder for a moment, but you continue to avoid his gaze. He folds his arms, and moves a closed fist to his chin in thought.

"I think that sometimes, not asking for help can be more of a burden" he says, finally catching your attention. You look up questioningly and he continues in a gentle voice, "Think about it, you're placing too much of the burden on yourself, which is making everyone around you worry. And besides that, what if you get hurt? Then you'll need more help from others than you would have in the first place"

It's your turn to look troubled. You hadn't realized that you were worrying everyone, or that you were causing them trouble.

He lets you think for a moment, before placing a comforting hand on your back.

"MC, it's okay to rely on others. People like it when you ask for help. It makes them feel special to you" He says, and when you look up he's giving you one of the kindest smiles you've ever seen on this shady magic boomer's face.

He hopes you catch his little hint, I want to feel special to you, MC

"Thank you, Solomon. I'd never thought of it that way" you smile back, "I'll try to ask for your help more often"

"I'll look forward to it!" He says with an even brighter smile.

Simeon

He noticed just in time; you had decided to walk home alone again and two suspicious looking demons were about to corner you down an alley.

You were scared, you think they had been following you for at least a couple blocks, and now you had nowhere to go. You were at a dead end.

"You two want to leave." A familiar voice, "NOW." Simeon was smiling, but he looked so intimidating in the shadow of the alley, and something ominous was also radiating off of him. Was he angry?

"C'mon it's not worth it" one of the demons said, "Killjoy" said the other. Simeon watches them leave with an intimidating expression before finally approaching you.

"MC, are you alright?" He asks, features now full of concern.

"Yea! Thanks for that, I was starting to get a little worried"

The concern on his face grows, didn't you know how much danger you'd been in just then? "Those two had been following you for a while... Why didn't you call out for help? Or call someone on your D.D.D?"

"Well... I- I just thought maybe they were walking in the same direction, so I wasn't sure..." You sounded nervous.

How could you be unsure? Simeon had never seen a more suspicious looking pair of demons in his life, and if you'd heard what they were saying they wanted to do to you, you'd understand why he was angry. He sighs.

He notices you're shaking, ever so slightly. Maybe you had overheard... You seemed to be more shaken than you were trying to let on.

In the silence he realizes that this part of town wouldn't be part of your normal route back to the House of Lamentation, "Were you lost?" You nod. "Why not ask for directions?" He asks

"Everyone was so busy when I left RAD... I didn't want to bother them. They're always taking care of me as it is... I just thought..."

So that's why you were walking home alone

"I'll walk you back then" he offers you his hand, and you want to take it, but to his surprise you can't bring yourself to.

"That's alright! You've already done so much for me. I'm sure I can find my way home now!" You try to force a smile, but Simeon can see right through you.

"MC... What's really going on?" His face is serious again but his voice is kind as he steps closer and rests a hand on your shaking arm.

You can't hold back tears any more, "I... Just don't... want to be a burden... to anyone" The quiet words break Simeon's heart.

Who could've made you feel this way?

He draws you into a strong, gentle hug, cradling the back of your head to hold you closer and stroke your hair.

"Don't ever think like that, MC" He breathes into your ear, "You are so loved"

Luke

You're going to give this smoll baby angel a heart attack, and there's not much he can even do to about it.

You were carrying too much, like you always do, and Luke noticed almost too late.

You were heading straight for the stairs, and your books and supplies were stacked too high for you to see!

"MC, LOOK OUT!" he shouts.

You stop just as your foot passes the threshold of the first stair and you feel the drop.

You drop everything you're carrying, but thanks to Luke's warning you stopped your own momentum before you could tumble down the stairs with everything else.

Relief floods through Luke as you stare at the mess, shaken and disheartened by the prospect of the clean up.

He runs to you, demanding to know that you're okay.

Of course he helps you clean up and carries as much as he can for you.

He's always offering to carry things for you now, even if all you have is a book or two.

He keeps a nervous eye on you from now on too.

Give this poor baby angel a hug.

[radiorenjun]

drama love || qian kun

¤ pairing: qian kun x reader

¤ genre: comedy, slight angst, drama, college!au, drama club!au, president of the drama club!kun x star of the drama club! reader, enemies to lovers-ish, frenemies to lovers, friends to lovers, fashion major! reader, business major!kun, tsundere!kun.

¤ synopsis: You and Kun always have this weird relationship where you’re not necessarily enemies but not exactly friends. Most of the time, you would be seen scolding by Kun for skipping club meetings to hang out with the other seniors despite the fact that you were one of the main lead actresses of the club. And as time goes on, watch as you and your senior’s relationship blossom into something more than a simple friendship between two college students.

¤ warnings: tsundere kun! swearing, probably some innuendos but nothing too bad, kun is a year older than the reader, height discrimination against Ten and Kun (I’m sorry), kun a bit more chaotic here than in real life. Lots and lots of teasing and insults, slight mentions of burdening someone, arguments, genz humor, probably a plot hole or two, bullying kun supremacy

¤ wordcount : 23.5 k words

¤ playlist: double take by dhruv,  free love by g, if i could write a bike by chevy, lovely night by ryan gosling and emma stone, kataomoi by aimer

¤ a/n: featuring a few of my moots!

“Oh,Y/n, good to see you here,” your underclassmen greeted with a polite bowl as you shot them a smile. 

“Hey Chenle, Furou,” you waved, adjusting the beret on your head as you tugged on the saddle of your back to adjust it on your shoulder. “Y/n, meet Sungchan. He just transferred from the Business Department,” Chenle introduced, putting a hand on the taller boy beside him as Furou let out a soft chuckle. You smiled at the tall boy, looking up at what you assume to be a 180 cm giant standing in front of you. “Wow, you’re pretty tall. You know you could be one of the main leads of the drama club,” you raised your brow with a light laugh, shaking the younger boy’s hand.

“Jisung is almost taller than me,” Sungchan chuckled bashfully, looking down at his feet as he retracted his arm. “Oh hush, you’re still taller than our male lead. He’s literally 170 centimeters, I don’t even know how he’s able to get the part. Curse his pretty privileges,” you grumbled under your breath, remembering how your co-partner on the stage was constantly flirting with his girlfriend during practice instead of actually helping with painting the props like the rest of the club members. 

“You also have pretty privileges too, though,” Furou raised her brow, a smile tugging at her lips as you huffed. “Flattery will get you nowhere, honey,” you joked, a sinister smile playing at your lips as you watched a deadpan expression flash over your underclassman’s features. “What are you three up to?” you asked, putting your hands on your hips. “We’re just going to go to a nearby cafe, they say they’re having a huge discount on their infamous cheesecake,” Chenle explained, pointing his thumb behind him as Furou nodded in agreement. 

“I don’t want to be the third wheel, so I’m off studying and catching up with my major,” Sungchan informed with a nervous chuckle, a distressed expression making its way onto his face afterwards as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I see. Well, I hope you all have fun,” you chuckled, pulling the sleeve of your sweater back to reveal the watch on your wrist, your eyes widening slightly at the time. “Oh dear God, would you look at the time,” you blurted out loud, a panicked smile forming at your lips. 

Furou laughed at the sight of your terrified expression. “I suggest you should really get going, too,” Furou added, stretching her head to look behind you to spot a certain someone. “Yeah, if you don’t hurry, your escort will get here,” Chenle snickered, nudging his girlfriend’s sides as they both shared knowing looks. “Escort?” Sungchan furrowed his brows in confusion, watching you gulp heavily as the two continued to tease and snicker at you mischievously. “Y/n’s pretty notorious for skipping her drama club,” Chenle explained, his sinister grin never leaving his face. 

“Therefore, everyday, the club president comes down to pick her up. The drama club escort is pretty scary,” Furou added with a small snort, making you let out a scoff as you crossed your arms against your chest with a roll of your eyes. “I skip club meetings because I love interacting with all my seniors and underclassmen, duh,” you said, lifting your brow as if it was the most obvious thing ever. “Sure, whatever you say then, Y/n,” Furou and Chenle nodded with a roll of their eyes. 

Now, you would probably imagine said club president would arrive in some sort of carriage. Probably the same pumpkin carriage Cinderella used back in her fairytale story. You would probably expect said escort would at least show up in a white or black suit, a button up shirt and beautiful slicked back hair. You would expect an escort to say ‘my lady’ and gently hold your hand as you step into the carriage and take you away as two horses pull the carriage away to your desired destination.

At least that’s what Sungchan thought.

Of course, it’s not a usual sight to see some random guy sprint down the halls shamelessly yelling your name at the top of his lungs with anger flaring his pupils, his fluffy blond hair thrown back against the wind as he ran as fast as his legs could take him as if he was running for the Olympics. He looked exactly like that running emoji except this guy had blonde hair and was wearing a baggy hoodie over his form, some black jeans and a pair of Nike shoes to accent his whole look. 

“Y/N! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT BEING LATE TO THE CLUB MEETINGS?!”

“That’s my signal to leave, I’ll see you guys arou-” before you could sprint the other way or finish your sentence, you felt someone grab the back of your sweater tightly to keep you from going anywhere. “I have been looking for you for the past thirty five minutes! And now you’re going to fucking run away?” Kun gave you a bittersweet smile, his eyes screaming bloody murder as you paused in fear. You gulped, looking back with a nervous toothy smile, giving your senior a small thumbs up. 

“Good afternoon, Kun, how may I help you?” you asked in the sweetest voice you could muster, sweat dripping down your forehead as you watched Kun’s stare grow even more murderous with your words. “I’m sorry for the interruption,” Kun said in a genuinely nice tone, turning to your underclassmen with an angelic smile before glaring daggers at you before tugging you back to the direction of the school theater room with all his might. You stumbled over your own feet, gripping the saddle of your bag as Kun continued to practically drag you against the floor to the theater room. 

“W-Wait, Kun! I can walk myself,” you grunted, an awkwardly nervous laugh elicited from your lips as you used one hand to grip on your bag and used the other to keep your beret to your head as Kun continued to pull you by the back of your sweater. Kun sighed heavily, grabbing your arms and pulling you up to your feet before turning you around and wrapping his fingers against your shoulder blades and began to push you to the direction he came from. “I swear, one of these days I will fling you to the theater room,” Kun grumbled under his breath as you both walked through the crowded halls filled with eyes boring into the back of your skulls. 

“Kinky,” you snickered, waving at the people you recognized as you and Kun speed walked to the theater room together. You felt him squeeze your shoulder as a type of indicator that you should keep your mouth shut before he actually flings you to the sun like a frisbee. “Shut up, you horny creature. I am not going to be provoked by your unholy perverted thoughts. This should be counted as harassment,” he hissed as you finally stopped once you opened the door to the theater room. 

“Why do you even skip practice, you’re the main lead for pete's sake,” Kun groaned, releasing his grip from your shoulders to wrap his fingers against your wrist and head to the stage where the rest of the actors had gathered around. 

“It’s about time you showed up,” Brooke snickered as Kun let you take a seat right beside her, huffing as you cupped your cheeks in your palms and propped your elbows up on your legs. “Yeah, yeah. Do kiss my ass more, would you, Brooke?” you giggled, shaking your head as Kun started talking about repainting the old props as the paints were chipping off because Angie and Renjun forgot to buy more primer for the last play you had over two weeks ago. “Y/n, please do try to not fuck anything up while we paint,” Kai joked, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

“It’s in my blood to fuck things up, Kai,” you shrugged nonchalantly, a mischievous grin taking place on your lips. “Where were you off to, though? It took Kun half an hour to find you this time,” Haechan, Kai’s boyfriend, whispered from beside her in curiosity. “That’s like a new record, you had a great hiding place this time,” he gave you a supportive thumbs up, earning a smack from Kai afterwards for tolerating your irresponsible behavior. “The other side of the building,” you grinned, giving the boy an innocent peace sign. 

“That’s our lead actress right there,” Brooke shook her head profusely, chuckling softly at you.

------------------------

“Wait, Kun, since you’re in charge of the sets and props. Does that mean you aren’t in the plays?” Shotaro asked, dipping his brush in the can of pain before splattering dots on the surface of the wooden board by brushing his fingers against it to resemble stars. Shotaro was the newest member of the drama club, therefore Kun, being the president of the club, had the responsibility of guiding him a lot on what to do and what not to do. Which was a fairly simple job considering all he had to say was ‘never follow in Y/n or Ten or Kai or Angie’s footsteps and you’ll be just fine.’

Kun hummed, running a hand through his hair as he sat down in front of the younger boy with crossed legs. “I used to be in the plays but I think I like this a bit more,” Kun said with a charming smile, waving the large brush around as he helped Shotaro paint the skies. “I see,” Shotaro nodded in response, flinching when he felt your hand on his shoulder as you came barging in their conversation. “No, no, Shotaro, you got it all wrong,” you shook your head at him, earning a pout from Kun.

“Kun wanted to win the male lead and grow taller to fit the role of the prince of the stage, but alas,” you leaned over to sling your arm over your senior’s shoulders, earning a death glare from said man as he furrowed his brows and frowned at you. “Our Kun here suffered from malnutrition, therefore he stopped growing completely and now he isn’t tall enough to make it to the male lead,” you grinned, over-exaggerating your words just a tad bit as Kun raised the can of paint by the metallic handle. “I am this close to throwing this can of paint at you,” Kun deadpanned. 

Shotaro hummed, raising his brow at the two of you. “Isn’t Ten shorter than Kun, though?” Shotaro asked, his eyes wandering to the boy in question who was currently chatting up his girlfriend as they painted over their own set of props. “Yes, thank you! Finally, someone who looks at things through my eyes!” Kun groaned, grabbing Shotaro’s hand and shaking it rather vigorously in his grip. “Shotaro, you are an angel,” he complimented, causing you to frown at this. 

“Ah yes, all it takes to get on Kun’s side is to tell him that he’s taller than Mister Chittaphon. Of course,” you huffed, sitting back in between them as you placed your cheek against your fist, looking back down at the prop. “Again, this close to throwing you this can of paint,” Kun repeated with a roll of his eyes. “Don’t worry, I’ll sue you, Kun,” you sent him a cheeky grin, patting your senior’s shoulder in mock pity as he rubbed his temples in frustration, causing you and Shotaro to giggle.

You weren’t quite sure if it was obvious, but you’ve always admired Kun. You didn’t know if your feelings were in the romance department or the mentor department, but you couldn’t help but admire your lovely senior. He was at the top of his major, studying hard everyday and managing his own things while keeping the club in good shape despite the fact that he has three hooligans (consisting of you, Ten, Kai and Angie but mostly you) to handle on a daily basis. 

You knew he was an explendid cook, too. Considering he brought a whole buffet for the whole club that he cooked all by himself to celebrate the new anniversary of this club. Kun was talented and good looking, you couldn’t deny it even if you tried.(and thankfully, you don’t need to because no one ever asked about your thoughts on your handsome senior) He was caring, despite the fact that he was always yelling at your ear everyday, but nonetheless you knew he actually cared about you deep down. 

Kun was the reason why you had joined the drama club in the first place. You weren’t much of a theater kid, but you were pretty good at acting back in highschool. Just as when you promised yourself not to get involved with the art of theater, you saw Kun acting as a prince in a play at a fair your college hosted back when you were in your first year of college and you couldn’t help but sign up immediately so you could get a closer look at his acting. And as time went on, your playful nature was the reason why he was always by your side. 

You refused to think deeper about your feelings on the boy, but you knew they were crossing the line of friendship. Considering the true reason you always skipped classes was (partially to socialise and chat up your seniors and underclassmen to catch up with them) the fact that Kun would always be there to bring some entertainment into your day whenever you even attempt to skip the club meetings. Pushing aside the fact that you almost lost your life over it countless times, you didn’t mind facing the wrath of Kun everyday just to get a few laughs out. 

 Infuriating and teasing him was always a fun activity.

Quite ridiculous, you gotta agree. 

Though, you gotta admit that sometimes his words hurt. You knew he was probably joking most of the time but you couldn’t help but feel saddened sometimes whenever he would grumble on and on about how you shouldn’t have joined the club if all you’re going to do is annoy him all the time. But you didn’t let his words linger in your mind for too long and chose to focus on annoying him either way. 

“Damn, Kun. You should stop getting angry so much before your veins pop out, I don’t think any of us are mentally stable enough to call the ambulance for you,” Kai joked as she stood next to said man who was currently trying his best not to beat the living crap out of you right next to you. “Agreed. You’re old enough, Kun, you don’t need any more wrinkles than you already have, you know?” you teased, poking Kun with the wooden hand of his paint brush with a smug expression on your face. 

“This is age discrimination,” Kun mumbled under his breath after a big sigh of exhaustion, rubbing his forehead with his fingers. “Okay, I discussed this with Ten early and I figured I should have informed you too so I’m telling you now about the new story we’re going with for the next play,” Kun ran a hair through his hair, adjusting the glasses on his face as you cocked your head to the side in confusion. “Wait, what’s wrong with the story I suggested?” you furrowed your brows, offended at his sudden decision to change the story. 

Kun narrowed his eyes, brows furrowing at you as if he was trying to decipher if you were joking or not. “Are you mental?” Kun asked, crossing his arms against his chest as his eyes went wide, a smile of disbelief on his lips. “How the hell did you think a made up story between the dragon and the donkey from Shrek was ever going to be a good plot for a theatrical play?” he exclaimed in disbelief, causing you to scoff as he waved his arms around in confusion. “You just don’t know what a real beautiful story is, Qian Kun,” you scoffed, crossing your arms against your chest. 

Kun groaned, closing his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose to keep himself from exploding right in front of you. “I get how you want to make people around you laugh, but I don’t want this club to be the laughing stock of campus, Y/n,” he groaned, hunching his back as he massaged the space in between his eyes to try to reason with you. However, seeing the older boy in distress was like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, you couldn’t help but get on his nerves and push on his buttons even more than you should. 

“People need some laughter, Kun. What are you planning, anyways? Some boring Romeo and Juliet type of shit? Twist it up a bit, if you don’t like the donkey and dragon trope I can give you a new one on the spot,” you waved him off before gasping loudly as an idea popped into your head like a lightbulb turning on. “What about Romeo but make it a furry Rapunzel? Romeo, Romeo! Let down your hair! Or tail, whichever works. Be original, Kun!” you nudge your friend with an encouraging wide smile. 

Kun opened his mouth to speak as his brows furrowed in confusion before closing it after a small pause. “Dear god, you’re even worse than Yangyang when he asked if he could put crocs on Louis,” he hissed, sighing heavily when he made a note to himself to never come to you for plot ideas for the play. “You should be in the Writing major instead of the fashion major, it suits you,” he commented with a sarcastic thumbs up. “Nice try, Kun. Flattery is no way to get me to change,” you winked, earning a small chuckle from Kun himself. 

“Anyways, I was talking over story inspirations with Brooke and Angie. They had some really good suggestions and we ended up choosing this movie called La La Land-” he frowned when he saw you slowly lay down against the wooden floor boards with a loud annoyed groan. “Dear God, Kun. Couldn’t you at least go with something original? My Furry Romeo concept was way better than this,” you swung an arm over your eyes as Shotaro let out a loud alarming yelp when he saw your arm almost knock over a can of blue paint over the props. 

Kun rolled his eyes once again, taking a loud exhale as he met your eyes that practically screamed ‘please don’t yell at me, it was an accident. I cry easily’. 

“As I was saying, it’s about a pianist and an actress falling in love while attempting to reconcile their aspirations for the future. It’s an enemies to lovers-ish type of story,” he ignored how you kept groaning and complaining in the middle of his words. “And I’m supposed to be playing this actress?” you asked, removing your arm from your eyes to lay it on your stomach as you turn your head to look at Kun with a raised brow. “No shit, you’re our lead actress,” Kun leaned over to smack his hand on your knee with a small chuckle. 

“You know if you still want the lead role so badly, Kun. You can take my place in this play, just this once,” you grinned, raising your index finger at him and twirling it in front of his face in circular motions as you sat up. Kun frowned, rolling his eyes as he gently pushed your finger away from his face. “No thanks, princess,” he teased, standing up after ruffling your hair with his hand to go check on the other members on their painting progress so far. “Hey, watch the beret! It’s new, you know!” you hissed before pausing when words that slipped out of Kun’s mouth had finally sunk into your brain, feeling your heart skip a beat at his soft tone.

Kun has never used nicknames or pet names on you. It was always the regular ‘dumbass’, ‘y/n’, ‘l/n, ‘the bane of my existence’ or the occasional ‘the reason why I wished murder was legal’. But it was never ‘princess’. It felt weird being called that, a good kind of weird. You didn’t know if you liked it. The sound of the pet name rolling off of his tongue did something to you and you didn’t know whether to find it ominous or exhilarating. 

“Did he just call you ‘princess’?” Brooke gaped, her jaw dropping to the floor as she ran over to your shocked state. Your eyes widened slightly at her sudden appearance, playing it off casually afterwards as you shrugged nonchalantly at her. “I think so? Why?” you asked, leaning back a bit to relax your posture as Brooke gave you a knowing smirk. “That literally has never happened before,” she grinned, sitting down beside you with a half beta-read script. “Really? Then you must’ve never watched his acting performances before,” you snickered, your mind having flashbacks to Kun’s face always flushing beet-red back when he was the male lead of the play. 

You always teased him for not being able to say ‘my love’ without being a tomato on stage during practice before he stopped auditioning for roles half way through your first year of college. “God, I missed his acting days. Back then, I would be the one making fun of him off stage,” you sighed, chuckling sinisterly when you remembered how Kun had to hop off the stage unceremoniously in his prince costumes to chase you down the school halls whenever you made fun of a certain gesture he made when rehearsing his lines with the previous lead actress. (who had graduated early to pursue a career in music,  if you recalled properly)

“Ah yes, Lunatic Prince Kun chasing down one of the well known clowns this school had ever seen. I still remembered laughing my ass off when Kun dropped his crown midway and had to hold it to his head as he ran down the halls to catch you,” Brooke snickered, shaking her head at the vivid memory, remembering how Kun had cursed out loud when he dropped the (quite expensive) fake crown onto the tiled floor of the halls. “Damn, someone should’ve taken a picture. I didn’t look bad that day considering I was wearing my latest designer shoes back then,” you pouted, putting your chin under your palm as you let out a huff of breath.

“You know,” Ten, Brooke’s boyfriend, spoke up behind the two of you as he came up to sling an arm around his girlfriend’s shoulders with a smug expression. “You and Kun have been getting a lot closer than usual. He’s picking you up for practice everyday, right?” he asked, a smirk adorning his lips as he wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively. You snorted, waving your hand off. “The man almost ripped my sweater off because he was practically dragging me against the floor. We’re close, alright,” you nodded in agreement, patting the beret on your head afterwards.

“Sounds like Kun has some kind of crush on you to me, though,” Ten added, a mischievous smile spreading across his lips, attracting attention from another one of the club members, Angie. “Kun? We’re talking about Qian Kun, right?” she jumped into the conversation shamelessly, wrapping her arms around your neck to engulf you in a small back hug. You were taken aback by this sudden statement, gently pulling her arms away from you as you shook your head aggressively. “Where the fuck did that come from, Ten Lee?” you spluttered, a flustered expression making its way onto your face. 

Angie laughed. “Are you shitting me, right now? Kun? The Qian Kun? Having a crush? On the Y/n L/n? I knew you were on crack but I didn’t know you were that high, Lee,” she snorted, doubling over laughing at the thought of Kun having a crush on you with Brooke joining in on the ridiculous conclusion her boyfriend has come to. “Yeah, no, that’s not happening,” she shook her head at you, wiping an invisible tear from her face as Angie leaned her arm on your shoulder.

You furrowed your brows as you leaned back with an offended expression. “What’s that supposed to mean?” you exclaimed, looking at your two friends who were bawling their eyes out laughing with a confused expression. “No offense, Y/n. But with the reputation you and Kun have the past two years and people occasionally shipping the two of you for your chaotic interactions, once they truly walk into this theater, thoughts on you being a couple would be thrown out of the window without any hesitation,” Brooke shook her head, giggling behind the back of her hand. 

“Don’t get us wrong. I personally think you two would be cute together once you stop getting at each other’s throats. But right now? I think Kun is more interested in his own toenails than you,” Angie jokes, slinging an arm around your shoulder. “The other day, the man was about to throw a bag out of the window at you when he spotted you running away from the third floor,” she added, wheezing out afterwards as she and Brooke continued to giggle. “She isn’t wrong, perse,” Brooke shrugged.

You couldn’t help but shrug in defeat, a small laugh eliciting from your lips afterwards. “I guess you’re kind of right.”

----------------------------------

You didn’t know what’s wrong with you lately but you couldn’t get Brooke and Angie’s words out of your head since last week’s practice for some odd reason. You would find yourself thinking them over as you were embroidering on one of your clothes for a school project that was due in a couple of days, your brows furrowing as you got lost in your own thoughts as you sat next to your classmate in the fashion department room.

What the hell did they even mean by ‘Kun was more interested in his own toenails than you’? Clearly he’s more interested in you than you would think considering he always picked you up everyday after your morning classes are over for the afternoon club meetings. They clearly don’t know what they’re talking about. Just because you’re always facing the wrath of Qian Kun doesn’t mean he despised you, right? He knows you just like to joke around and push on his buttons, you overheard him laughing it off and calling your silly antics ‘amusing’ once when you were passing by his side of the building.

You cursed incoherently when the needle you were using suddenly broke in half from how hard you were gripping it, grumbling as you realised you have to continue with a new one. You tied the string into a knot against the fabric, cutting the string off as you stood up to walk over to the trash can near the entrance door to throw away the broken needle. A sharp click of the door caught your attention, figuring that it was probably your professor, you turned around only to face none other than Qian Kun, the man of the hour.

“Kun?” 

Kun looked up from his papers, his doe eyes gazing up at you before widening slightly. “Oh, Y/n, hey,” he gave you a kind smile, removing one of his hands from his papers to give you a small wave. “What are you doing here? Have you finally decided to accept my offer of throwing away all of your clothes in exchange for my masterpieces?” you couldn’t help but tease, raising your brow at him as you placed the back of your hand on your hips, inevitably causing the older boy to frown.

“One day I’m going to really fling you to the sun,” he deadpanned, eliciting a small giggle from you. “Sure thing, old man. For real, though, what are you doing here? Came to see your favorite underclassman?” you wiggled your brows, laying your fingers on your chest jokingly as Kun rolled his eyes with a small chuckle. “As a matter of fact, I did come here to see my favorite underclassman,” he nodded, a genuine smile settling upon his facial features as he waved the back of his papers in front of your face. 

Taken aback, you waved him off with a hand, laughing lightly as you felt your heart increasing it’s pace. “Stop, I feel honored to be the infamous Qian Kun’s favorite underclassman. I always knew deep down you liked me-,” you avoided his eyes, chuckling nervously at his word before you were suddenly cut off by one of your classmates who called out Kun’s name behind you from the other side of the room. “There he is! My favorite underclassman,” Kun raised a hand to wave at the boy who called out his name with a smile. 

You furrowed your brows, turning around to see the charming Jung Jaehyun jogging up to the two of you with a smile on his face. “Hey hyung,” Jaehyun greeted giving Kun the typical weird bro-hug the male college students in your school often did. “Hey, y/n,” Jaehyun greeted, giving you a polite smile and a small bow despite the fact that you were bugging him a couple minutes ago while he was finishing a new sketch while calling with his friend, Doyoung, who was in the culinary department. 

“Hey Jaehyun,” you eyed the boy suspiciously. “Jaehyun’s your favorite underclassman? And all this time I thought you and I had something, ‘hyung’,” you mocked the same tone Jaehyun used, crossing your arms against your chest as you huffed, eliciting a few laughs from the two boys. “I’m sorry that you’re too delusional,” Kun grinned mischievously with a wave of his papers, patting your head with the small stack of papers in his hand before walking off with Jaehyun to the desk he was using.

You gave him the stink eye, earning the finger from Kun, himself. Scoffing as you walked back to your desk where your friend,Abhie, was making no effort to hide the fact that she was laughing at your little misunderstanding. “Stop laughing, it’s embarrassing enough as it is,” you huffed, sitting down on your chair with a sour expression as you reached over the desk to grab a new needle to use to finish the design on your old shirt. “Let me take in on how embarrassing that was first,” she laughed, watching as you try your best to cover your flustered expression. 

“Kun and Jaehyun have been spending time with each other a lot more than usual, don’t you think?” you asked as you grabbed a new embroidery thread from the bundle in front of you, measuring the thread as you unwind the bundle. “They’re in different majors but they look quite busy, I don’t think Jaehyun’s even in the drama club. I’m pretty sure he has to deal with his own writing club so I’m sure he isn’t joining the drama club,” you analysed under your breath, your brows furrowing in concentration.

“Guess someone got sad that her senior didn’t see her as their number one underclassman,” Abhie raised her brow, crossing her arms over her chest as she placed her finished embroidery on the table you were both sharing. “What are you talking about? I may not be his favorite underclassmen, but I know I’m definitely his number one,” you lied, huffing dramatically to make your friend laugh even more. You knew very well that you’re definitely not Kun’s number one, but seeing your friend laugh was amusing. And you felt the urge to push on Kun’s buttons as payback for deceiving you. (sort of)

Abhie scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Believe what you want,” she laughed, an amused smile taking over both of your faces as you stood back up and placed your needle back on the table beside your embroidery hoop. “Observe,” you snickered, turning around to walk towards said senior with a loud call of his name, ignoring how most of your classmates instantly gave you death glares from every corner of the room for disrupting the quiet atmosphere you all had developed over the past couple of hours. 

“Kun! Qian Kun!” you exclaimed, jogging up to him as he continued his talk with Jaehyun. 

“I sense an incoming dissatisfaction,” Kun deadpan, sighing heavily as he felt your presence grew closer with every step, causing Jaehyun to snicker at the older’s half annoyed and half embarrassed expression. “Who’s cuter? Me or Jaehyun?” you asked, putting an arm over his shoulder and tugging him towards you. “Jaehyun,” he stated almost immediately with a monotone, his gaze never tearing away from the papers in his hands.

You frowned, causing Jaehyun to laugh even more than he already has. “You didn’t even hesitate to think,” you frowned, retracting your hand to put your hands on your hips as you narrowed your eyes at your senior. “Didn’t need to,” Kun grinned sinisterly, shooting you a small glance before looking back down at his papers with a poker face. “Ouch, my heart hurts now,” you winced dramatically, laying a hand on your heart as you took a step back and swung the back of your free hand against your forehead. 

“My heart’s been broken so many times-”

“Don’t you have your embroidery assignment to finish?” Jaehyun asked, an amused smile on his face as Kun gave you a perplexed expression, his brows furrowed and his mouth gaped open as he tried to find the words to speak. “Oh shit, right, nevermind,” you lowered your hand with wide eyes, closing your mouth shut at the reminder. “I’ll see the two of you later,” you waved, waddling back to your desk when you remembered that you had two days left to finish said assignment and you were barely halfway done. 

“As you should!” Kun exclaimed.

“So?” Abhie raised her brow at you with a small hum. “I’m definitely his number one,” you popped up, giving her an enthusiastic thumbs up and a wide smile. “I am not believing that,” she giggled, shaking her head as you scoffed and went back to finishing your design on your shirt. “Why do you and Kun fight 24/7, though? I swear, you two are infamous for arguing on a daily basis. You’re not even in the same year or major, it’s hilarious,” Abhie laughed in disbelief, running a hand through her long hair. 

“Tough love,” you exclaimed with another enthusiastic thumbs up. “Unrequited tough love,” she added with a soft snort, causing you to laugh as well. “He’ll learn to love me soon enough, just you wait,” you waved her off, sticking your tongue out as you tried to slip the thread into the tiny hole in your needle. 

-

“What if we do a musical for the next play?”

“Kun, stop flexing. We know you just want to sing.”

Kun frowned upon the sound of your voice, turning his head to glare at you as you laid down on the wooden floorboards of the stage. “I swear, if violence weren't against my morals, I would’ve kicked her to the moon. God give me strength, I don’t have enough cash for bail money,” Kun groaned, rubbing his hands against his face in distress as you and a few other club members laugh at his reaction. “I admire the amount of patience God has given you, Kun,” Gwen patted his back sympathetically. 

“Gender equality at it’s finest,” you cheered, raising your hands up enthusiastically before they flopped down almost painfully against the floor of the stage. Kun rolled his eyes, walking over to the other side of the room to discuss the play with the other members of the club. “You really like Kun, huh?” Brooke raised her brow at you, wiggling them afterwards when you met her eyes with an enthusiastic nod. “Of course, I do! He’s my senior after all,” you sat up, stretching your arms over your head with a yawn.

“The smile on your face makes your words seem so passive aggressive,” Kai chuckled, shaking her head profusely. “Oh hush, it may seem like I’m pushing his buttons on purpose but I actually really admire Kun. He’s the reason why I got into this club in the first place,” you exclaimed with a genuine smile, turning your head to watch the older boy flip through the script with Ten and Renjun from the other side of the theater room. “Wait, what?” Kai’s eyes widened at your sudden statement. 

“Yeah, I actually got into this club because of Kun! I remember it like it was yesterday, I was just walking around campus and I passed by the theater. He was practicing for a play and I was like ‘damn, mans got skills.’ And at one point he gave me a flyer to join this club and encouraged me to join, which is why I’m here now,” you explained, shrugging casually as you leaned back against your hands behind you with a soft smile. “And if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have met you guys,” you added on. 

“Cool, but I was asking about the part when you said you weren’t pushing his buttons on purpose,” Kai chuckled, earning a soft smack to the arm from you as Brooke let out a loud laugh in response. “Same, same. I can’t believe you’re not annoying him on purpose, I mean, I’m not complaining. It creates more romantic tension that I could use for my literature essays,” she shrugged, slinging her arm over your shoulder with an enthusiastic grin. “Of course I’m annoying him on purpose,” you rolled your eyes. “I’m not that big of an airhead, you know,” you scoffed as you pushed Brooke’s arm off of your shoulders.

“You know, there’s a chance that Kun would replace Ten in the play this time?” Haechan asked, plopping himself down beside his girlfriend while chewing a mouthful of bread. “Excuse me?” your eyes widened, straightening your back up as you and the girls lean over to hear Haechan more clearly. “Ten got an opportunity to go to an Art Gallery in Busan, he’s not sure if he’s going though but if he does, he can’t be back in time for next month’s play,” Haechan informed, pulling out a cupcake from his bag and handing it to Kai. 

Brooke’s eyes lit up at this. “Oh yeah, he told me about that! It’s a great opportunity for Ten, I doubt he’s going to deny the offer for some play,” Brooke chuckled, shaking her head at her own boyfriend. “So, you’re telling me that there’s a chance I’ll be doing the play with Kun?” you asked, eyes wide as a wide smile spread across your face. “Oh god, I’ve never actually acted in a play with Kun before. He stopped acting by the time I joined the club,” you exclaimed excitedly, your hands balled up into balls at the thought of acting side by side with your senior on stage. 

“More opportunities for you to bully our Kun,” Kai giggled, nudging your sides with her elbow as you nodded eagerly. “That too!” you agreed with an enthusiastic nod, raising your hands up in the air at the thought of finally seeing Kun act on stage once again. “Honestly, I thought I’d see myself on Mars sooner than seeing myself and Kun on the stage together performing,” you scratched the back of your neck with a nervous chuckle as Kun began walking over with stacks of paper in his hands. 

“Here’s your script for the next play, rehearsals are going to start tomorrow so y/n,” Kun gave you a knowing look, eyes boring holes into your head as you gave him an innocent smile and a peace sign as you take the paper away from his hand, your fingertips grazing his own. “Don’t be late,” he sighed heavily, smacking the stack of papers on the top of your head softly before distributing the actors their own scripts. 

You purse your lips, rolling your eyes. “‘Don’t be late’,” you mocked his tone, shaking your head at the elder. “As if you don’t pick me up every morning class before I even have the chance to be late,” you mumbled under your breath, earning a smack upside the back of your head from your friends, letting out a yelp in response. “What was that for?” you rubbed the spot where your friend hit, turning your head around to see Furou with a cocky grin. “Come on, we actually have a pretty strict deadline this time,” Furou sat beside you, patting your back. 

“They say the school is holding some sort of event next month and Kun’s taking this pretty seriously considering the money we earn from this play will be donated to charity,” Furou explained, kicking her feet as she looked around the theater. “So you’re going to be dragged around Kun a lot during rehearsals,” Furou chuckled, giving you a look of mock sympathy, causing you to groan loudly and lay back down on the wooden floor of the stage. 

“Oh well, at least I get to see our lord and savior, Qian Kun, act on stage again,” you gave her a sarcastic thumbs up, smiling at her as you turned your head around to look at the boy in question who was furrowing his brows as he read over Kai’s script with an intense expression, a hand pushing back a part of his dyed hair that was covering part of his eyes, his parted lips mouthing the words printed on the paper. 

Your friend chuckled at how intently you were staring at the older boy, shaking her head profusely. “Does this mean you’re going to stop being annoying momentarily?”

“Keep dreaming.”

-

“As you may have heard from our precious club members, I will be replacing Ten as your supposed love interest on stage,” Kun said, popping out of nowhere as he pulled the chair in front of you to sit right across the table. You furrowed your brows, “are you stalking me?” you frowned, looking up from your phone as you carefully sipped your beverage. You swore that this man was psychic, he can sense where you are whenever and wherever and it was almost not funny. 

Kun rolled his eyes at you, crossing his arms against his chest as he let out a heavy sigh. “We have practice in two hours, I just happened to be in the library the same time as you do. Except I don’t come here for free coffee and free wifi,” he smacked his bag filled with a stack of books on accounting right on the table with a click of his tongue, taking you by surprise at the sudden sound. “I figured we could chat for a bit and walk to the theater room together since you’re oh-so-busy,” he grinned cheekily, causing you to roll your eyes. 

“Excuse you, you’re not my babysitter. I can go to the theater room myself, thank you very much,” you huffed, frowning deeply at the unusual sight of his cheeky grin. You couldn’t help but admire how his eyes crinkled slightly as his lips stretched across his face, thus revealing his cute dimples that made you suppress the urge to poke them. Kun’s smile always had that weird effect on you and you didn’t know why. And you didn’t know if you liked it either. 

Which was probably the main reasons why you liked pissing him off all the damn time. 

“Sure, as if I don’t have to run like Sonic the Hedgehog all around campus to ensure that you’re not skipping,” Kun chuckled, shaking his head at you in amusement. “I’m just helping you, Kun. You always go on and on about losing weight even though you’re literally one of the fittest guys I’ve seen on campus. I’m helping you by making you exercise by disappearing every five seconds,” you went on dramatically, waving your hand around in circular motions as you spoke, sipping your drink with your free hand. 

“You never fail to blow me away with your weird respon- did you just call me hot?” he raised his brows when he took a small pause at your words, causing you to stop sipping your cup. You paused, your eyes grew wide as they scattered to look everywhere but him, replaying your words in your head to figure out where he got that idea from. “I just called you fit, there’s a difference,” you slowly pulled your drink away from your mouth, trying to appear as casual as you could. 

‘Keep calm, Y/n. Qian Kun can sense your fear.’ as you would often say.

“So you’re basically saying I look good?” Kun cocks his head to the side, a smirk playing on his lips as he raised his brow at you, taking you aback at his sudden cockyness. You paused, gulping as you stared into his eyes for a brief moment, sipping your drink loudly as you desperately tried to think of a good comeback. “What did you say our next play was about?” you spluttered, coughing when your voice cracked, putting a hand on your throat out of habit as you looked down at your feet. 

Kun chuckled, looking down at his own hands when you changed the topic. “Since we did La La Land for the last play, I figured we’d do something old timey. A classic. Brooke and Xingyi managed to come up with a few plots and we came up with this story of a princess having a secret affair with her musketeer bodyguard,” Kun explained, choosing to let your words slide momentarily as you revert back to your casual self. “Oh god, Brooke and Xingyi came up with the plot?” you groaned, putting a hand on your face as you rubbed your forehead. 

“Don’t tell me. It’s going to end in despair, isn’t it? Dammit, they know full well I despise getting all emotional on stage, I swear, they’re doing this on purpose,” you grumbled under your breath, plopping your now empty cup on the table with a scowl on your lips as Kun let out an amused laugh. “Oh shut up, they’re taking this chance to see me cry too, you know,” he raised his brow at you, leaning back and relaxing against his chair. You paused, taking his words in before clicking your tongue.

“You’re going to cry on stage?” you blurted out, your eyes going wide at the thought of seeing your senior cry in front of hundreds of people. “Can I rent a camera crew to take HD pictures of you in tears in front of me? I think that would be one hell of a sexy cinematic piece to go with my photography portfolio,” you asked, wiggling your eyebrows at the older boy with a teasing smile on your face. 

Kun chuckled, tutting as he waved his finger at you rather sassily. “Look who’s being a stalker now?”

You leaned back, a frown settling upon your lips at his words as you huffed at him. “I’m doing this for humor purposes, it’s for the good of the world. And my own amusement, of course. Don’t you think a lovely picture of our dear president bawling his eyes out on stage would be a perfect decoration for our stage?” you asked, putting your hand up in the air as if you were caressing an invisible wall. Kun pressed his lips together to stifle a laugh, a hand on his chin and his fingers covering his lips. 

“I think I’ll have to reconsider changing the plot to whatever donkey dragon furry type of fanfiction you came up with in your head back when we were doing La La Land.”

-

“You know, I thought you were gay,” you mumbled, drawing circles on the smooth surface of the piano as you continued to listen to Kun practice on the piano the music department had been using to practice for their own music show for the event. Kun let out a soft chuckle, “is this about the Jaehyun question you asked a couple of weeks ago?” he asked with a staggering breath, flipping through his music sheets as you continued to hum in confirmation. 

Nothing had changed after Ten left for his trip to Busan. Other than the fact that Kun has been rehearsing his lines with you 24/7 considering you were his partner on stage after all. Though, he wouldn’t be as aggressive and you don’t have to sacrifice your perfectly good sweaters getting ruined as these days his ‘aggressive dragging by the back of whatever top you were wearing on that day’ technique had morphed into ‘pulling you by the wrist like a rag doll’ with a script in his hand.

You could see from a mile away that Kun was more than excited to finally be on stage again. And you couldn’t help but let a smile stretch across your lips whenever you sat beside him when you were reciting your lines together, watching the passion glimmer in his eyes as his face contorted with emotions as words spewed out of his mouth like a song bird chirping on a tree branch on a bright morning. 

Kun had called you over after your class to try on the costumes that just arrived and to check on any imperfections and minor details. You were always his go-to fashion kid whenever he needs help with anything that involves fabric and accessories. The moment you opened the door, you were immediately greeted with melodious piano music and a rather handsome senior behind said piano with his brows furrowed in concentration. It was a rare sight to see for you.

“You said I needed to try on some outfits and inspect the costumes?” you put a hand on your hip, walking around the stage as Kun closed the piano lid while he got up on his feet. “As always,” Kun rolled his eyes, grabbing the saddle of his bag and slinging it over his shoulder as he walked over to you. “I told the others to place the costumes near the changing room, come on,” Kun placed a hand on your shoulder as you walked side by side to the changing room, his sudden touch sending shivers down your spine. 

“You okay?” Kun asked all of a sudden, pausing in your steps. 

You hummed, looking up at him in surprise, your eyes going wide. “You just shivered, is the ac too cold or something?” Kun asked, retracting his hand to slip it in his pocket as he looked around the theater room, extending his other hand to feel the cold atmosphere. “Yeah, I’m kind of chilly, I guess,” you mumbled with a slight nod, rubbing your arms to cover up your lie. You weren’t going to lie, you kind of liked the comforting way his hand felt on your skin. 

“I’ll be fine, Kun. Let’s just go back to what we’re doing,” you scurried off to the changing rooms, spotting the opened box filled with plastic wrapped costumes and their props. Trying to shake the thought of holding Kun’s hand in yours out of your mind as you sat down on the wooden floor and began opening a few of the costumes to examine the details to look for odd spots or ripped fabric, hearing Kun’s footsteps catching up to you a few seconds later. 

After a while of sitting side by side, focused on spotting any minor mistakes with the stitching and the quality of the costumes, it was finally time for you to test your own individual costumes. “So, which one do you think I should try first? The pretty princess gown or the Belle from Beauty and The Beast before she developed Stockholm syndrome?” you asked, nodding your head at the two dresses hanging by their clothing hangers in each of your hands. Kun laughed lightly at your small joke as you turned to the mirror, humming as you furrowed your brows.

“Try the peasant one first, the fabric looks pretty low quality compared to the dress,” Kun hummed, pointing at the brown dress in your left hand. You huffed, rolling your eyes as you placed the princess dress on the empty space on the chair beside Kun. “No shit, it is a peasant dress after all. Look at those improper cross stitches, they could’ve done a better ladder stitch on the waist,” you mumbled to yourself as you walked into the changing room and began to change into your new costume. 

“This dress is kind of tight, though,” you commented as you tugged on the ribbon around your waist with one hand and unlocked the door with the other, seeing an unbothered Kun looking through his phone with his brows furrowed. “What do you think? See anything wrong with it?” you did a slow 360 twirl in front of him, tugging the edge of the dress down when you spotted a few wrinkles. “Could use some ironing,” Kun joked, putting a hand on his chin as he looked up at you admiring yourself at the mirror nearby.

“It’s a peasant dress, Kun. They purposely didn’t iron this to fit the aesthetic,” you turned around to your senior with your hands on your hips before outstretching your hand for Kun to give you your princess dress. “Princess dress, please! This is the one I’ve been looking forward to the most,” you grinned, causing Kun to chuckle as he grabbed the clothing hanger with the dress clinging onto it beside him and handing it to you. “Thank you, old man,” you snickered as you hopped in the dressing room again, dismissing the loud offended ‘hey!’ Kun had let out behind you.

Once you walked out of the dressing room, you were tugging on the gloves you were supposed to wear, adjusting the fake plastic tiara on your head. “Okay, Kun, round two. How do I look?” you asked, patting your sparkly dress to remove any dust sticking to the fabric. Kun looked up from the costume he was examining himself with unbothered eyes, which grew wide slightly at the sight before him. 

To say you were astonishing to his eyes was nothing but an understatement. The way the dress defined the shape of your body, the way the crown had accented your face, the way the gloves covering your hands made you look so elegant and delicate. His heart raced as he watched you scratch your hair while examining yourself in the mirror to look for any rips in between the fabric and the designs. He had to keep himself from letting his jaw drop to the floor as his eyes scanned you from the cute little hello kitty socks you were wearing to the beautiful red crown placed on your head. 

“Are you smiling at me, Qian Kun?” 

He blinked, his eyes lowering down from your crown to your eyes, gulping silently as he realised you had caught him checking you out. He kissed his teeth nervously, leaning back against the chair as he looked down at his hands. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mumbled under his breath, shaking his head abruptly as he felt you take a few steps closer towards him with a smug expression on your face. 

“You think I look good, don’t you?” you pointed an accusatory finger at the boy, who shook his head vigorously at you. “I was looking at the realistic tiara,” Kun coughed, clearing his throat as he stood up suddenly, taking you aback by how close the proximity between the two of you have become once he got to his feet. He resisted the urge to boop your nose as his hands went up to gently lift the tiara from your head, careful to not get any of your hair as he examined it in front of you with a sheepish smile. 

‘God, what am I even doing?’ Kun thought to himself as he used his superb acting skills and squinted his eyes at the tiara in between his fingertips. Though, his attempt to cover up the fact that he was internally flustered was futile for your next words had thrown him into a state of shock for a few seconds. “You know you have a pretty smile,” you commented, your eyes boring into his casually as you watched Kun examine the tiara with a small smile. 

His eyes grew wide at you, his body froze as his smile became crooked at the sound of your words escaping your lips. “Excuse me?” he said after a pregnant pause, your words echoing in the back of his skull over and over again like a broken record player, sending jolts of electricity into his own heart. “You have a very pretty prince smile,” you couldn’t help but reach up and poke the dimples protruding from his cheeks with your gloved finger, grinning mischievously when you saw how Kun’s nervous expression melted into one filled with embarrassment. 

“Thanks,” he muttered, gulping as he plucked up the courage to carefully place your tiara on top of your head again, his fingers caressing your hair slightly. You felt your heart raced as he gently placed the tiara back where it was as if he was crowning you princess himself. “You should smile more,” you mumbled, feeling yourself grow sheepish as Kun’s hands carefully pulled away from you. “Yeah?” he hummed back, almost inaudibly as he looked down at your feet with a soft smile on his face. 

“Can you smile more so you don’t exactly look like a body that just got pulled out of the river?” 

Kun’s head shot up in alarm at your words, all of the bashful and giddy feeling bubbling up in his stomach evaporated instantly as he could feel his vein pop under his skin. Watching as your own flustered expression morphed into a smug one, adjusting your tiara with your gloved hand as you broke the intimate aura that had crawled its way between you two merely seconds ago. 

“Just when I thought you were going to say something normal for once.” 

-

“Oh, five minutes late! That’s the earliest you’ve ever been,” Lin exclaimed, putting the back of her hands on her hips as she watched Kun drag you across the floor into the theater room by the wrist as if he was dragging a body from the fiery pits of the underworld. “I wasn’t fast enough,” you groaned, standing up straight as your back was starting to hurt from your terrible posture. “You are not the Lightning McQueen you think you are, y/n,” Lin chuckled, shaking her head at you as Kun shut the door behind you and released his hold on your wrist. 

“Exactly my thoughts,” Kun nodded in agreement, giving you an amused smile. “I like to believe I’m Sonic the Hedgehog or the Flash, but you do you,” you huffed, crossing your arms against your chest as you walked over to the other members of the club, who were all currently helping the others with their costume as you were all finally starting rehearsals considering the play was  in less than two months. 

“She’s coming in earlier than usual. Usually it would take you about fifteen minutes to half an hour to find her and another ten minutes to drag her here,” Lin commented, taking a step closer to Kun as she examined your figure socializing with the other club members, who were looking at you as if you had grown two heads. (no one could blame them for being shocked to see you on time, usually you would take centuries to get to the theater) 

The boy beside her hummed as he shrugged. His hands dug through his bag for his phone and his script, oblivious to the smug expression Lin was giving beside him. “Mostly because we meet up before rehearsals start in the library to go over our lines,” Kun shrugged, pulling out the crumpled stapled papers from his bag pockets. “We might as well normalize seeing her arrive on time now,” he chuckled, flipping through the pages as he read through the sentences he highlighted a couple of weeks ago. 

Lin raised her brow suspiciously, crossing her arms as Doyoung walked up to Kun with a confused expression. “Did something finally happen between you and y/n?” he asked, putting a hand on his chin as he stood in between Lin and Kun, squinting his eyes at you as he and the girl watched you revise your lines with your brows furrowed with the other members of the club. A tiara was placed on your head as you helped your fellow actors with their lines, your free hand making grand motions as you read your lines aloud. 

Kun furrowed his brows at Doyoung’s statement. “What do you mean ‘finally’?” he asked with an incredulous expression, his head shooting up from his papers as he furrowed his brows at his friend. “I don’t know, there’s something suspicious with you and her arriving together. There’s something even more suspicious with the fact that you’re both arriving on time!” Doyoung exclaimed, crossing his arms against his chest, narrowing his eyes at his friend who gave him a confused expression. 

“Apparently they’ve been having library dates everyday before rehearsals so they’re only a teensy bit late now,” Lin informed, a mischievous grin spreading across her face, causing Kun’s frown to deepen even more. “They’re not library dates, we’re just discussing and reading over our lines together,” Kun retorted, feeling his heart race in his chest at the thought of being on a date with you. He felt flustered at the mere thought of hanging out together as more than friends, but yet again, your little meetups felt more than just a casual hang out. 

Though he was probably overthinking it again.

“Oh, so it’s definitely a date,” Doyoung confirmed. 

“Agreed,” Lin nodded with a hum. 

“It’s not, I’m just there to keep her from escaping campus before rehearsals start. I mean, we are having our big assignments coming up so I guess she doesn’t have that many people to talk to as a reason to ditch practice. “They’re just friendly meet-ups. How can it be a date if all she does is infuriate me and make my college life a living hell even more than Yangyang has. And that’s saying something considering I live in the same dorm,” Kun rambled on, his hands moving around and making dramatic gestures as words of complaint continued to spill out of his mouth like a leaking tap.

“Yet that doesn’t stop you from having a crush on her for the past two years, does it?” Doyoung smirked, raising his brow at his friend who had stopped talking upon hearing his question. Lin giggled, pressing the back of her hand against her mouth as Kun’s expression became flustered. You could practically hear ‘kun.exe.hasstoppedworking’ from the boy’s thick skull as Kun froze in place, trying to come up with some random reason to deny his friend’s words.

Alas, Kun was not much of a liar. 

“Yeah,” Kun chuckled, looking down as he flushed, a giggly smile spreading across his features as his gaze shot up from his shoes to you. Okay, maybe he wasn’t much of a big liar but he was too whipped to deny it. 

The soft, innocent smile on your face as you made a few of the club members laugh with your witty jokes and silly antics, watching them cackle and hold their stomachs to contain their laughter. That was Kun’s favorite smile. “It doesn’t,” Kun sighed rather dreamily, relaxing his figure as he leaned his head to the side to get a better look of your smile.

Truth be told, it really was no secret. Literally everyone in the club knew about Kun’s obvious crush on you ever since he ‘retired’ from being the male lead. Ever since the day he met you when you were just in your first year, looking for new friends and new hobbies to do. Ever since the first day he saw you audition for the main role back when the drama club was doing ‘Romeo and Juliet’ for the annual event your campus always hosts. 

Watching you act on stage as part of the audience made Kun feel as if he was looking up at a sky scattered with stars. The way your personality completely morphs into the character you were portraying and the way you conveyed whatever message your character was trying to send out to the audience had made you find your way into his heart throughout all these years. The way your beauty sparkled under the lights, the way your expressions captured his heart on stage. The way your voice sends butterflies into his stomach as if you were ordering them to fetch his heart like an ominous siren. 

He didn’t mind being teased by you every single day if it meant that he was getting your attention, he didn’t mind dragging you to the theater room everyday if it meant he got to get close to you. He didn’t mind being the target of your jokes if it meant that you two could get a tiny bit of interaction during practice, despite the fact that you two get nothing done together if so. After all, those were the original reasons why his liking for you grew ever so stronger. It was almost laughable.

Hell, it was making him crazy.

“KUN! Y/N IS RUNNING AWAY AGAIN!”

“DAMMIT, Y/N.”

Quite literally.

-

“Oh, how I longed to be in your arms after all these years, Abdul!” you cried out, clutching the dress with both of your hands as Kun wiped the invisible sweat off of his brow, dropping the sword he was clutching to the wooden floor of the stage as a look of despair stretched across your face. 

You only had less than three weeks left of rehearsal, therefore, everyone had to be focused. You had been practicing for the past two hours now without breaks, your throat was sore from delivering lines and dehydration. One of the air conditioners wasn’t working very well this morning and maintenance was coming the next morning, leaving you and the rest of the club members under scorching heat. It was the middle of June, after all. And the god forsaken dress you were wearing was no help whatsoever.

“Princess Putri, my love, my little songbird! Oh how all of these years of holding myself back, all these years of fighting and hoping to reunite with thou,” Kun recited, his face scrunched up as if he had really been fighting a dozen of thieves to protect the princess. The expression on your face did nothing to show how awed you are at the sight of Kun’s acting. It’s been so long since you’ve seen Kun shine on stage again and quite frankly, you missed it. 

You were seeing Kun’s superb acting performance right in front of you. He wasn’t even taking this as seriously as he should in the actual performance. You couldn’t imagine how magnificent his aura would be once the lights shine down upon him on stage once the day arrives. And you couldn’t help but admit that you couldn’t wait. 

Though as much as you would stand on the stage to admire your senior’s acting performance, you were on the brink of being one with the sun itself. You watched with a sorrowful expression as Kun walked over to you, his boots making soft noises with every step he took, his hand on his chest as he came closer to you. You smiled slowly, focusing on staying in character as Kun recited the words written on your scripts.

Reciting the words as he perfectly brought the message his character, Abdul, was conveying to your character, Princess Putri, to life. It was like music to your ears. 

You and Kun were standing in front of each other now, proximities close as the room grew dim save for the two stage lights shining down upon the two of you. The theater was almost as silent as a mouse except for the soft piano music Chenle was playing below the stage. The atmosphere felt seren, it made you feel as if it was just the two of you on stage, stuck in your own little world. 

Eyes gazing into each other, your hands placed gently against his chest. Your fingers fiddling with the tassels on his shoulders, his hands coming around you only to land on your hips as he pulled your body towards his own, his face oh-so-close to your own. “May I indulge in the feeling of finally having your lips pressed on mine, my love?” Kun whispered, his soft voice booming across the speaker, half lidded eyes gazing down your lips before glancing back up to your eyes. 

With glossy eyes, you looked up at him, sniffling into the mic softly before slowly nodding. A sad smile stretched across both of your lips as Kun leaned his head towards your face and leaned it to the side, thus covering both of your faces with his hat, giving the audience the illusion of the characters actually kissing. Upon hearing the club members clap for you, a few whistles from all around the theater room as the lights finally turned back on, you pulled away, making sure to add distance in between the two of you as you coughed awkwardly. 

You couldn’t even stop your heart from beating so loudly in your ears as you clasped your hands behind your back, squeezing your hand into tight fists to calm yourself down. You’d like to think that it was the heat affecting you but you knew very well that there was no point in lying to yourself considering Kun was also avoiding your eyes for a brief moment. For a short moment, you couldn’t get the thought of Kun’s face being so close to yours out of your head. You couldn’t get the feeling of your heart which was on the brink of bursting out of your chest.

This never happened whenever you were acting with Ten on stage before, or any of your partners. It was odd to say the least. But your thoughts were cut short when your co-director spoke up to break the tension in the whole theater room. 

“As expected of the president and our star,” Doyoung clapped unceremoniously, looking down at the clipboard he was holding in his arms as he flipped through the pages. “Okay, so, the play is in less than three weeks. We just need to adjust a few things then we’re good to go,” he announced with a loud clap, putting the clipboard in between his arms. “You all did good, we’re going to cut rehearsals short today, you all deserve it!” he added with a wide smile, earning enthusiastic cheers from the people around you. 

You let out an exasperated groan, rubbing your face with your hands as you internally thank the gods that you decided to use your waterproof make up set today. “Dear god, I am literally being roasted alive,” you groaned, wiping the sweat off of your brows as you pulled the tiara off of your head and placed it on the props where the rest of the other crowns were being placed. Kun walked to your side, pulling his hat off of his head, being careful as to not get the feather on it. “I could tell how much you were practically dying out there,” he chuckled as you both made your way backstage. 

“Why are our costumes so damn hot, too? The fabric is literally acting as an aluminum foil for baking us alive, the maintenance better be here before we arrive tomorrow or else I’m going to fling myself to the sun,” you tugged the bow off of your collar, fanning yourself with your hand as Kun pulled his gloves off of his hands. “Don’t worry, I’ll always be here to help you fling yourself to the sun,” Kun joked, running his hand through his hair to mess it up a bit. 

“That’s so romantic of you, Kun.” You placed your hands on your hips, grinning mischievously at him. “Nice try, you’re never going to get rid of me until you graduate,” you stuck your tongue out teasingly at him, walking over to your bag filled with your clothes and heading off to the changing room. 

As soon as you left your stall, you were immediately pulled by your friends into a group huddle. “Dude, you were amazing out there. God I can’t wait until the big day comes,” Kai exclaimed, slinging her arm around yours as you watched Angie grab your costume out of your arms and placed it in your opened locker. “Agreed, the chemistry between you and Kun are just-,” Gwen gave a chef’s kiss with her fingers at the end of her sentence as she walked beside her. 

You smiled, laughing lightly. “Thanks! Damn, I wish I was one of the audience. It’s been a while since I actually watched a play and not act in it,” you hummed, slinging your free arm around Ren’s shoulders. “Oh my god, I remembered seeing you in the audience two years ago. Look at you now, acting on stage with Qian Kun!” your friend exclaimed, putting her free arm in the air to emphasize her words. 

“More like ‘being the reason why Kun is taking anger management classes’,” Angie snickered, earning a pout from you as you huffed at her. “As he should,” you joked, shaking your head profusely before they began to speak up again. “Are you sure you aren’t into Kun? That scene looked pretty intense and I’m 100% sure the theater hasn’t been this intense since that day you tripped over a can of paint and fell off the stage,” she added with a raise of her brow, her lips quirking up into a small grin. 

You grimaced at the embarrassing memory of tripping over a few cans of pain, thus falling off of the stage and twisting your ankle. You remembered how Kun had to carry you with a disappointing shake of his head to the nurse’s office. However, thanks to your shamelessly bubbly personality, the tension in the atmosphere was cut like a knife when you patted Kun’s back with one arm and raised your uninjured leg up the air, pointing your free hand to the entrance as you yelled “onwards, donkey!”

“I remembered that! Did you really have to call Kun ‘slower than a snail who didn’t study their Math test because they overslept’? We could’ve lost another club member, you know? And what if Kun goes to jail for attempted murder? We’re all too broke to bail him out.  Who am I going to ask Yangyang to sneak into their room for pictures of their elegant notes to?” Kai smacked your arm with her own, a joking frown on her lips as you let out an amused laugh. “Chill out, you’re never going to get rid of me,” you waved your hand off, rolling your eyes at your friends. 

“Also, I don’t like Kun like that,” you deadpanned, sending a glare to your friend, who grinned even more. “Are you sure? The chemistry was hella spicy back on stage, and that kissing scene? Oh god, I was so close to pushing both of your heads together so you can actually kiss!” Gwen gushed, groaning as the other girls agreed with affirming nods and light laughter. “She’s not wrong,” Brooke added with a simple shrug, crossing her arms over her chest when she saw you looking at her to back you up. 

You rolled your eyes. “That just means that Kun and I have superb acting skills, thank you very much!” you exclaimed with a bright smile, earning more smirks and grins from your friends as you all walked down the campus hall to head to the nearby cafe across the street. “Come on, you two looked like lovers who have actually been longing to be with each other for years!” Kai exclaimed, her tone becoming slightly whiny. 

“Again, superb acting skills,” you stated with a silly grin.  

“I swear, you’re so oblivious to your own feelings. Dude, no one looks at their co-star like that!” Gwen groaned, smacking you upside the head gently, causing you to let out a surprised yelp in response. “You’re making a big deal out of this, I swear to god,” you rolled your eyes at your friends, rubbing the back of your head. “As much as I hate to say it, they’re not wrong. You two were all googly-eyeing each other up there,” Ren chuckled, shaking her head at you.

You groaned once again, scratching the back of your head. 

“For fucks sakes, I don’t like Kun!” 

-

“Is that literature?”

You glanced up from your paper, not surprised to see your senior, Kun, sitting down on the empty chair across the table from yours. “Yeah, I was absent last week so I had to catch up on some assignments,” you nodded, tapping the highlighter against your lips as you gazed into your laptop screen filled with nothing but long paragraphs of letters and random words. “Though the professor refused to fill me in on anything and my friends who are in that same class are too busy right now to help,” you groaned, leaning your head on the highlighted literature book on your desk. 

Kun chuckled, sipping his coffee before placing it on the table. “Mind if I take a look? I’ll see if I can be any help,” he asked, putting his forearms on the table as he gave you an amused smile. “Go ahead,” you waved your hand off, your voice muffled by the thick pages of your book as you let out an exasperated sigh. Kun smiled sweetly, leaning over to pull your laptop and turn it so that he could see the screen better. 

“Oh, I did this one a couple weeks ago,” he hummed, scrolling down through the questions your professor had given, furrowing his brows as he read over your answers. “As a drama kid, you’re not much of a literature fan, huh?” Kun chuckled, raising his eyebrows at you as you leaned your head up, placing your chin on your book as you shrugged casually. “It’s just not my cup of tea,” you confessed truthfully, knowing full well that you have no idea what you’ve been writing for the past thirty minutes. 

“When is this due, exactly?” he asked once again, scrolling down your google docs. “Saturday?” you sat up straight, groaning as you looked down at your book with a hopeless expression. Kun let out a small ‘ah’, looking down at your barely finished assignment, thinking so hard you could probably hear the gears in his head turn. “Tell you what, I think I still have my old notes. You can revise and find the answers there instead of working your ass off all night for this,” Kun suggested, giving you a tightlipped smile, sliding the laptop over to you.

Your eyes widened at his sudden statement. “Wait what? Kun, no, you’re going to need it too once the exams starts,” you frowned, shaking your head at him as you gripped the sides of your laptop to slide it over right in front of you. “It’s fine, Hendery borrowed it the other day, too. I don’t mind if you borrow it for a day or too as well,” he shook his head at you, his charming smile never leaving his face. 

“Kun, no. Dude, it’s fine, really. It’s just forty numbers, I’m sure I’ll get it finished before the deadline,” you shook your head vigorously, a firm frown placed on your lips as you gazed up at your senior. “You know you want to,” Kun taunted, his teasing tone sending sparks into your chest as he leaned his cheek against his knuckles, a loopy smile spread across his face. Oh how the turns have tabled. You always found it immensely attractive whenever Kun became cocky.

His usual cranky, mature, responsible self was an admirable feature of his, you weren’t going to lie. But there was something attractive and endearing when Kun’s cocky side popped out, you couldn’t help but admit to yourself that his loopy smile was the definition of ‘hot’. Of course, you weren’t going to admit it to his face. Not today, at least. 

You stared into his eyes, watching as one of his eyebrows turned upwards as he waited for you to accept his offer, his loopy smile gradually turning into a smirk as the seconds went by. At this point, you were just having a pointless staring contest. “No,” you deadpanned, huffing as you shut your laptop and carefully placing it in your bag. “I refuse to accept your help, good sir,” you gave him a cheeky grin of your own. 

“Are you sure?” Kun asked, his smirk never leaving his face as he leaned back in his chair to run a hand through his slightly disheveled blonde hair, pulling his glasses off of his face. “Why are you so persistent in helping me over something so small? It’s just an assignment, Kun,” you placed your hands on your hips as you squinted your eyes at him suspiciously, pondering if he wanted something from you to get him so persistent on letting him help you. 

This was not the usual Kun you knew. Usually, Kun would smack you with whatever papers he had on hand whenever you even joke about asking him for help with your assignments. And now, he was suddenly offering to let him help you? It was enough to convince you that Kun was possibly replaced by an alien. Or even worse, brainwashed by those aliens Renjun had always ranted about. Oh god, you regretted ever doubting and snoozing off during his annoying explanations. 

“Who are you and what have you done with Kun?” you asked, shakily holding up your pen at him as if you were ready to strike at him at any given moment. Kun furrowed his brows, smiling softly at you as he pulled his face away from his knuckles. “Why are you acting as if I’ve been possessed by a ghost or replaced by some sort of imposter, this isn’t among us,” Kun exclaimed incredulously, biting his lips to keep himself from laughing. 

You pulled your bag closer towards you, tightening your grip on the pretty yellow gel pen in your hand. “How do I know if you’re actually Kun and not some kind of alien? Last time I checked, you nearly banished Yangyang from your dorm when he asked you for help on his homework,” you furrowed your brows at him, waving your pen in circular motions as Kun balled one of his hands up into a fist, pressing it into his mouth. 

“Yangyang and Hendery had to perform a whole ass satanic ritual to get you to help them with their studies, it only makes sense for me to be suspicious if you’ve been abducted and brainwashed by those aliens Renjun always talks about,” you slowly got up from your seat, pursing your lips as you began to add on to whatever evidence you have in mind to prove that Kun was probably not himself at the moment. “I’ve watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and The Maze Runner: Scorch Trials before, I know how this alien shit works,” you hissed. 

Kun’s body began to shake as he tried his best to conceal his laughter as his eyes scrunched up into cute little moon shapes, his dimples protruding from his cheeks, pressing the back of his hand to his mouth to keep himself from doubling over laughing and disrupting the other students or teachers in the library. “And then? Go on, I’m listening,” Kun managed to gasp out as he took his glasses off to rub the space in between his eyes as he laughed silently. 

You couldn’t help but grin, watching as Kun patiently waited for you to go on despite the fact that he was probably on the brink of laughing himself to death. You then pouted, crossing your arms over your chest as you turned your head away from the older boy, tapping your feet against the carpeted floor. “You’re really being suspicious, you know,” you grumbled under your breath as Kun let out another wheeze of laughter. 

“Alright fine, how about this? You do something for me in return if I give you my notes,” Kun asked, a wide smile stretched across his face as he leaned over against the table, raising a brow at you as he placed his glasses back on. You lit up at this, turning your head at him in curiosity. “Yeah sure, name your price. As long as it’s not anything weird,” you nodded, earning another laugh from Kun at your sudden change of reaction. 

“Alright in exchange for my literature notes, you let me treat you out a day before the big day of our spectacular performance. I heard there was a carnival near the park, we could just meet up there,” Kun raised his brow, letting out a small hum as he looked at you with a glint of hope in his eyes. Your eyes widened at his sudden proposal, uncrossing your arms from your chest you leaned your head to the side in confusion. “Like, just the two of us?” you asked rather hesitantly, feeling your heartbeat increase slightly. 

Kun chuckled once again, nervously scratching the back of his head in an attempt to hide how flustered he felt at that moment as he stood up, grabbing his cup of coffee with him with one hand and snucking the other inside his pocket. “Why not?” he shrugged casually, a shy smile stretched across his face as he spoke, looking up at you with a soft expression on his face. Oh how fast your heart was racing at that exact moment.

You bit your lip, looking down at your shoes for a brief moment before gulping slightly. “Is Qian Kun asking me out on a date?” you teased, a cheeky grin forming on your lips despite the fact that your heart was practically ramming against your ribcage. Kun let out another chuckle, his soft smile sending a swarm of butterflies fluttering around and about in your tummy. 

“You can think of it whatever you like.”

You smiled at his words, giggling lightly. 

“Well, better be prepared to be penniless after the charity event ends then, Kun.”

Yeah, you definitely take back what you said about not liking Kun.

-

“Y/n! Truth or dare!” 

“Excuse me?” you cocked your head to the side, dropping your bag at the side of the stage as you walked up to your group of club members who were all huddled up into a huge circle. “We’re playing truth or dare, join us, won’t you?” Ren asked, grabbing your hand and pulling you to sit on the empty spot next to her and Shotaro. “Truth or dare? What are we? Elementary schoolers? I’m definitely in,” you chuckled, scooting over as you rubbed your hands together sinisterly. 

Brooke laughed, shaking her head at you. “I love how we’re just here playing truth or dare while the fossils are over there doing business,” she snickered loudly, looking over the only three responsible members of the club. More infamously known as ‘The Fossils’ which consists of one of the oldest members of the club, aka, Gwen, Doyoung and Kun. Pushing aside the fact that Gwen is only in her second year of college. 

“We can hear you!” Gwen exclaimed from a mile away, furrowing her brows as she flipped through the schedules of the events with the other two seniors. “We know!” Brooke yelled back, a cheeky grin spread across her face as you let out a light giggle. “Okay, so, who’s next?” Haechan asked, spinning the empty wine bottle in the middle of the group circle. “Wait where did you guys even find an empty wine bottle? Isn’t heavy alcohol not allowed on campu-”

“Shotaro, hush! It’s stopping!” you gently pushed the younger boy’s face away with a palm to the side of his face to hush him as you all watched in anticipation as the bottle slowly came to a stop, the empty tip pointing at Renjun, who groaned in annoyance as the others cheered for joy. “Oh fuck,” Renjun cursed, a frustrated smile stretched across his face as you rubbed your two hands together. 

“Dare,” Renjun chuckled. 

“I got a good one!” you exclaimed raising your hand, receiving mischievous grins from your friends as Renjun’s smile turned into an abrupt frown. “I dare you,” you looked around, spotting a small empty plastic doritos bag and placing it in the boy’s hands with a cheeky grin. “To throw this out of the window to aim it at the security guard,” you grinned, your eyes glimmering with mischief as you laughed sinisterly. 

“What did the security ever do to you to make you dare someone else to litter from the third floor?” Haechan asked, laughing along as you all watched the colour fade away from Renjun’s face. “He scolded me for accidentally dropping my juice box to the ground,” you rolled your eyes, patting Renjun’s back and pushing him to get up on his feet. “I swear my juice box didn’t even touch the ground and the old man had to go ham on me,” you grumbled under your breath as Renjun got up to his feet with the plastic bag in his hand. 

Renjun looked back at you, placing his hands on his hips. “You’re making me a victim of your revenge here,” he deadpan, furrowing his brows as you handed him the finger. “It’s a dare, Huang,” you wiggled your eyebrows suggestively. “Either that or you put that maid dress costume we bought earlier on with cat ears for the next hour,” you placed your hands on your hips. “Renjun, put the maid dress on,” his girlfriend barked, pulling out her phone and opening the camera app, eliciting laughs around you as you all watched her serious expression in contrast to Renjun’s terrified one. 

“I rather not embarrass myself publicly like this, thank you very much,” Renjun shook his head, glaring at everyone who was hoping for him to choose the maid dress instead of knocking on death’s door. “Well? Off to it, we don’t have all day,” you grinned, waving your hand at the boy as if to shoo him away from you. “I swear, I’m going to pull an uno reverse on you someday,” Renjun grumbled as he opened one of the windows of the theater room, peeking down to spot the unsuspecting security guard along with the other innocent bystanders. 

You all cheered unceremoniously as you watched Renjun ball up the plastic bag and throw it down to the security guard before quickly shutting the window close so as to not get caught by said grumpy security guard. “Great, who’s next?” you exclaimed with an enthusiastic clap of your hand, ignoring the death glare Renjun was sending you from across the room as he walked back to the circle. “Oh god, I hope we get someone good,” Kai mumbled under her breath as she spun the bottle.

You all waited in anticipation, sucking on your bottom lip as the bottle slowly comes to a stop, the tip pointing right at you. ”Shit,” you exclaimed with a sarcastic smile, looking around your friend group who gave you all evil glares as if to say they were finally going to have revenge for all the stupid dares you made them do the past two years you’ve been here considering the bottle rarely goes to you. 

“Truth or dare?” Brooke asked with a sinister smile, rubbing her hands together as they all scooted closer to look at you in anticipation. Watching as you gave your friends a tight lipped smile, gulping inaudibly as you nervously blurted out a small “truth?” almost questioningly. 

“Do you have a crush?”

“Hah?”

You furrowed your brows, confused. “What are we? Middle schoolers?” you raised your brow, scratching the back of your head. “Just answer the stupid question, y/n,” Kai deadpanned, her sinister smile never leaving her face as you continued to stare at your friends with a confused expression. ‘Well this isn’t as bad as I thought,’ you thought to yourself with a small shrug. “Yes, I do,” you admitted shamelessly as if it was an everyday question, giving them an innocent smile. 

“Who?” Shotaro asked, squinting his eyes at you. You raised your brow, crossing your arms firmly as you giggled. “One question per truth, suck it,” you teased, sticking your tongue out at your friends. Someone else spun the bottle quickly, causing it to stop right in front of you, causing your jaw to drop, eliciting a round of applause and laughter from your friends. “Okay, now spill, who?” Brooke repeated Shotaro’s question, tapping her nail against the wooden floor in anticipation. 

“But I haven’t chosen whether I wanted truth or dare, yet,” you shot back, raising your brow as your friends shared knowing looks. “Still,” they replied shortly, tight-lipped smiles stretching across their faces as you frowned abruptly. “This isn’t fair, I can’t get asked twice!” you retorted, feeling your anxiety creep up as you saw Kun’s figure discussing the events with Gwen and Doyoung at the corner of your eye, hoping to god that he wasn’t listening to any of this. 

Haechan shook his head, tutting at you softly. “The bottle landed on you fair and square, therefore you have to answer the damn question,” he grinned, laughing sinisterly as you purse your lips at how you’re literally cornered by your friends right now. “Fine, I’ll say who it is,” you grumbled, adjusting your sitting position on the floor. “He’s someone who hates me,” you stated, half jokingly, giggling as their reactions dimmed down only to realise that you have pulled an uno reverse card. 

“What? That’s not fair, you have to say their name!” Angie exclaimed, pointing an exclamatory finger at you as you stuck your tongue out at your friends with a cheshire grin. “Suck it, you didn’t say I have to specifically say his name!” you giggled, giving them enthusiastic jazz hands. “Anyways, I’m not playing anymore to save whatever's left of my dignity,” you scooted backwards, giving them two peace signs, your wide grin never leaving your face. 

“Wait, she said ‘he’. And she said that he hates her, which only leads to one suspect,” Kai explained, looking at the rest of your friends with brows furrowed with concentration. They all gasped in unison, looking at you with wide eyes before looking back at your precious club president (aka the poor unsuspecting victim slash bystander) with an equally shocked expression. 

“KUN! DO YOU HATE Y/N?” Angie shouted at the top of her lungs, cupping her mouth to attract the three Fossil’s attention. 

“What?” Kun shouted back, turning around with his brows furrowed, papers in his hands as he used the heel of his palm to push his glasses up to his head. Oh how you felt your heart dropping to your stomach. The fact that you had found out you had developed a small crush on your lovely senior merely less than three days ago wasn’t helping the fact that he looked immensely attractive in his attire. 

With his glasses pushed up to the top of his head, causing the bangs in front of his forehead to mess around a bit. His platinum blonde hair was a little bit messy and disheveled, probably the result of his hands running through them too much in distress. Considering Kun had a morning class today he was wearing a baggy white t-shirt over his tall, built figure. The sleeves were short and wide enough to reveal his muscular forearms. His black ripped jeans giving him that edgy, sort of ulzzang boyfriend look that you would see on pinterest. 

“DO. YOU. HATE. Y/N?” Angie repeated.

“Stop yelling, you’re going to make us all deaf!” Gwen shouted back. 

“Do I hate Y/n?” Kun repeated, pointing a finger at himself before looking at you, his adorably confused expression sending butterflies in your stomach. When the hell did he have that big of an effect on you? You swallowed down your nerves and used your superb acting skills to shoot him a loopy wide smile, giving him a sarcastic thumbs up, earning a soft smile from your lovely senior.

He chuckled briefly, putting the back of his hands on his hips. “Yeah, I do!” He teased, his cute dimples appearing on his cheeks as he grinned cockily at you, causing you to frown abruptly. “It’s scientifically proven by Qian Kun, our lord and saviour himself!” Kai exclaimed, raising her arms up in the air as if she had just received an invitation to the Grammy awards. “Y/n, you like Kun?!” Angie gasped dramatically, shaking Lin’s shoulders aggressively as if she had just found a priceless artifact. 

You laughed, trying to conceal how flustered you felt knowing full well that Kun was joking considering what happened approximately three days ago at the library. You know damn well that he was definitely lying. “You all have a huge misunderstanding,” you exclaimed, standing up to your feet as you jogged on over to stand beside Kun, wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling his head towards you as if you were putting him in a headlock. 

“You can’t see it but he is in love with me!” you joked, giggling lightly as Kun began to start smacking the papers he was holding against your back gently as a sign to let him go. “Get your filthy hands off me,” he joked, his body shaking as he laughed. “You aren’t the draco malfoy you think you are, Kun,” you grinned, looking down at the guy whose neck was stuck in between your right elbow. 

“This is harassment, I should sue,” Kun laughed as you released him from your grasp, smacking his papers gently on your head. 

“See, guys? Kun is infatuated and lovesick.”

Oh how you didn’t know how true your words are. 

-

Today wasn’t one of Kun’s greatest days. 

He didn’t know why he was so upset that day but it was one of the rare times when he would wake up on the wrong side of the bed. The fact that the moment he got out of his room only to see Yangyang’s stuff all over the couch angered him even more, despite the fact that the younger was probably already off to class. Kun had an afternoon class that day as his professor had postponed the classes due to personal reasons, which left him to go to the theater room early to practice his lines before the other club members arrived. 

He wasn’t in the mood to take anyone’s bull crap today and the fact that the event is coming up in a week wasn’t helping his terrible mood. All he wanted was to crawl back to bed and sleep until his emotions weren't bubbling up inside of him, waiting to burst. Though, thankfully for him and everyone else, the club members were able to tell that Kun wasn’t in a very happy mood at that moment. 

So they were pretty cool with Kun using whatever patience he has left and replying with short one worded answers unless needed. Funnily enough, today is the last day of rehearsals so Doyoung decided that you should all just retouch the props and backgrounds with paint and mod podge to be sure that the paints don’t chip off if something happens during the big day. Though, unfortunately for you, you were too high on serotonin (in other words: caffeine) to acknowledge the scary aura Kun was radiating. 

“Qian Kun!” you exclaimed, jumping on him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Lovely morning we’re having, don’t you think?” you grinned, cocking your head to the side to have a better look at Kun’s face, your mood wavering in the slightest bit when your eyes came in contact with his cold, exhausted ones. “Yeah, sure. Have you done your part of the props, yet? We have to make sure everything’s good by the end of the day,” Kun asked, gently pulling your arm away from his shoulder as he tried his best to keep his temper. 

You frowned slightly, putting your hands on your hips. “Of course not, I just got here,” you informed, shaking your head at him firmly. “Well then, get to it. We don’t have much time today and I really want to go home,” Kun waved you off, his tone strict as he looked down at the clipboard in his right hand, using the left to rub his eyes. 

His strict tone caught you off guard. He wasn’t usually this strict to you, he sounded like your 80 year old science professor after the man lost his glasses and refused to find them because there was 20 minutes of class left. Those aren’t really good memories to reminisce at that moment. But nonetheless, Kun wasn’t in a good mood and you didn’t know if you should keep cracking jokes or shut up. 

“Kun’s being unusually not himself today,” you commented under your breath as you walked over to Renjun and Angie, who were repainting the tree barks for the play while you were carrying a can of paint for them. “He’s been like that since he came here, man’s probably having a shitty day, don’t bother him,” Renjun shrugged casually, dipping his paintbrush into the paint can you had set on the floor beside you along with the other cans of paints, earning an hum of agreement from his girlfriend. 

“I agree. Kun rarely gets this pissed off and from what I’ve heard from past club members, an angry Kun isn’t a good thing,” Angie added with a nod, pointing her wet paintbrush at you with a suspicious glint in her eyes. “So try not to anger him, most of us are trying our best to just get shit done and go home, too,” she told you, her tone slow as if she was gently telling off a small, stubborn, bratty five year old who’s prone to mess things up with every step they take. 

In this case, you were that five year old. 

“What if he just needs some cheering up, though?” you asked, sitting down on one of the crates filled with props, careful as to not accidentally knock over the paint cans around you. “He might be in a terrible mood but maybe he needs some cheering up or something,” you mumbled, drawing patterns on the wooden crate with your finger as your eyes glanced from the wood to Kun’s distressed figure. Leaning your chin on your palm as you watched Kun walk around with an emotionless expression on his face.  

Renjun clicked his tongue, bending down to open another can of paint to add more details to the leaves. “Y/n, no. Please don’t, just help us with the props. Angie’s almost done with colouring each individual wooden bush, you should help and actually do something,” Renjun shook his head firmly, narrowing his eyes at you as you gave him a frown, looking down idly at the can of paints surrounding you as Angie carefully dipped her paintbrush in one of the paints, her tongue stuck out at the corner of her lips as her shaky hand carefully added more details to the wooden board. 

Before you could open your mouth, you heard the senior in question call out your name with a heavy sigh following after it. “Y/n, get down from there before you break something. Help the others with the prop won’t you?” Kun sighed heavily, furrowing his brows as he placed the hand that was holding his clipboard to his hip and raised the other to pinch the bridge of his nose as he felt his blood boil in annoyance. “Relax Kun, I’m simply observing,” you grinned, giving him an enthusiastic wave which only happens to make his frown deepen. 

“Observing isn’t going to get anything done around here, why can’t you help out for once other than laze around?” Kun glared daggers into your skull, but alas, you didn’t appear to be as fazed as you were on the inside. “Who took a shit in your cornflakes today, Qian Kun?” you asked, crossing your arms across your shoulders as you grinned gingerly at him, earning a soft groan of annoyance from the older boy. 

He took a deep breath as if to keep his composure and hold himself back from doing anything he’s going to regret. But alas, was murdering you on the spot really that big of a crime if all you’ve been doing the past hour was chat around and push his buttons by simply breathing? 

 “Y/n, I don’t have the patience to deal with your shenanigans today. Just get off the damn crate box and help out for once,” Kun was beginning to grow restless. He didn’t know why he was getting so worked up over your daily nonsensical antics, he didn’t know why seeing your pretty smile was making his patience run out like sand in a tiny hourglass. The way you responded with a quick “nope!” with an eager shake your head wasn’t helping him tame the flaming fury inside of him. 

“Y/n, I swear to God. You’re so ludicrous and infuriating, I don’t even know why we haven’t kicked you out yet,” he hissed, his eyes darkening as he felt his mind grow numb, oblivious as to how your bright smile had faltered at the anger lacing in his voice. “Hey, you don’t need to be so mean!” you exclaimed, furrowing your brows as Kun’s eyes shot up to look at you. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Kun said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes. 

“I think I have the right to express my frustrations if all you’re going to do is mope around. It’s literally the last day of rehearsals, you should be taking things seriously,” he laughed in disbelief, running a hand through his hair. 

You opened your mouth to say something before closing it when you realised you had run out of comebacks considering Kun was ‘kind of’ right in a way. But you believed that you should all have a good break before the actual performance considering you’ve been practicing so hard for the past few weeks. You all deserve a good rest and you were sure you were going to get it if it weren’t for the fact that Kun was currently in a shitty mood and none of you were brave enough to ask for one. 

“Just get down from there and help Angie paint before my brain explodes into smithereens,” Kun sighed once again, furrowing his brows as he waved his hand off. You huffed, mumbling small curses under your breath as you blindly hopped off of the crate you were sitting on before your feet accidentally knocked over a few cans filled to the brim with paint, causing them to spill to the wooden floor. “Shit,” your eyes widened as you quickly bent down to pick the cans up, earning a few frustrated calls of your name from your club members. 

“Shit, I’m so so sorry I wasn’t looking!” you stammered as you saw Renjun hopping off his stool to look at the mess you had accidentally made. “I’ll get the mop, we can still wipe it off before the paint fully dries,” Renjun exclaimed, running his hands through his hair in distress. “I’ll come with you,” his girlfriend patted his shoulder with a heavy sigh. “Y/n, what the hell?” Kun exclaimed, walking up to you as his eyes grew wide, fury glossing over his pupils as you fumbled with your bag to find the wet tissues as your friends ran off to the nearby janitor’s closet. 

You pulled out a box of wet wipes as you knelt down, trying to wipe off as much as you could as you looked up at Kun in a panic. “I didn’t mean to knock it over, I swear! It was an accident, I didn’t-” you were cut off with a frustrated groan from Kun, watching as he rubbed his face with his palms as if he finally had enough of your nonsense. “Shut up, just shut up, y/n. Oh my god, see this wouldn’t have happened if you just fucking listened to me!” Kun scolded, the anger in his tone holding no mercy as everyone stood still in the room in awkward silence. 

Your jaw dropped in surprise, needles slowly piercing your heart as you watched Kun’s face get even angrier as the seconds went by and at this point you ran out of tissues to wipe the paint off. “Kun, I said I was sorry. It’s not like I purposely kicked the paints, I was just getting off the crate like you told me to,” you shot back defensively, careful as to not grip the tissues in your hand as they were dripping everywhere on the floor. 

Kun rolled his eyes, a deep frown on his face as his expression darkened at your words. “I told you to get off of the crates, not walk around like a drunk blind bat. Did you get hit in the head or something? I swear I still don’t understand why we haven’t kicked you out of the club. You’re lazy, reckless, clumsy, you never help around. All you do is cause trouble for everyone, you’re late all the time that you need me to babysit you 24/7,” Kun began ranting, oblivious to how every word was like a dagger shooting through your heart. 

“It’s so annoying and sometimes I just wished I never asked you to join this damn club if all you’re going to do is pile up more work onto not just me but the other members of the club. We were suppose to finish early if it weren’t for your clumsy ass fucking up once again!”

It was pretty rare to see Kun curse. And when he did, it’s usually a sign that you have gone too far or you’ve pushed his limits. You’ve never seen Kun this angry at you before in your two years of knowing him, you’ve never seen him this livid even if you pushed his buttons way more than you should. But the way he looked at you was the one that hurt the most. The way he laughed sarcastically in disbelief as he continued to rant on and on how he’s so close to kicking you out of the club.

The way his expression was telling you to leave his sight for good. The way his dark eyes held nothing but hatred and anger. 

It hurt you. 

His cold angered stare did nothing but pierce your heart as you blinked back the tears that started to gather in your eyes. A lump began to gather in your throat, begging for you to let it out as your eyes burned. You looked down sadly to avoid Kun’s angered eyes, gripping the half dried tissues as the paint stained your hand and dripped down in between your fingers and back to the floor. 

“Look, Kun, I’m sorry okay. Just let me clean it up I swear I-”

“Why did you even join this club if all you’re going to do is burden me and the other members?” Kun snapped. 

“Kun, that’s enough,” Doyoung spoke up upon entering the theater room with a bucket filled with water in hand, putting the bucket down in front of you before placing a hand on Kun’s shoulder to stop him from saying anything else. “Y/n, calm down. It’s not a big deal, you didn’t even spill that much, you can just go home for today,” Doyoung gave you a comforting smile, reaching over to pat your head as you took in a deep exhale to keep your tears in as you felt eyes boring into the back of your skull. 

“What? No, she needs to clean this up and face the consequences of her clumsiness,” Kun’s eyes went wide at his older friend, shaking his head as you bit your lip to keep yourself together. “It’s no big deal, Doyoung. Really, I’ll just clean it up myself,” you shook your head, leaning down to lift the bucket up towards you. “No, you two can go home early. Kun, you’re clearly in a terrible mood so I suggest you just go home and take some rest. Y/n, it’s okay, I’ll clean up. I haven’t been doing much these days anyway,” Doyoung shook his head profusely, grabbing the bucket from your hands. 

“Doyoung, you can’t just-”

“Doyoung, it’s fine I can-”

“Just go home before I dump paint on the both of you,” Doyoung hissed, shaking his head at both of your stubbornness. ‘They really are perfect for each other,’ he thought to himself as Kun clicked his tongue in frustration, walking back stage to grab his stuff to cool off. You stood there in silence, you didn’t know what to say and honestly you were scared that if you were to take one more step, you would fuck something up again and make Kun get even more angrier at you. 

Doyoung chuckled, shaking his head at you as he walked over and placed a hand on your shoulder. “Hey,” he spoke up, attracting your attention. “Go home already. Don’t take Kun’s words to heart, you know very well he didn’t mean them. He’s just having a bad day, he’ll be back to his nice self tomorrow,” Doyoung gave you an encouraging smile, causing you to muster up whatever strength you had left in you to smile back at him. You gave him a small nod, despite the fact that you weren’t so convinced. 

“Thanks, Doyoung.”

-

You were an idiot. It was no surprise to anyone. 

After three days of no interaction with Kun whatsoever, you still decided to go to your little hangout? Date? Friend date? (You don’t even know anymore.) That you both had arranged two weeks ago at the library. You remembered the excitement you had suppressed all week at the thought of finally going out on a date with Kun but that was before the fight that happened at the theater club three days ago. Could you even call it a fight if you were the one who was apologizing and Kun was the one uncharacteristically yelling at you?

You didn’t know anymore. 

You were also hoping to patch things up with Kun when this date finally came up considering you couldn’t find him anywhere on campus. Hell, you even had to ask Yangyang for Kun’s whereabouts which wasn’t much help considering all he told you was ‘he comes and goes like the wind’ but you were desperate to talk it out and apologize to your senior. 

Was this the effect your crush on him had? Usually you would just wait it out until things get better between the two of you but you knew that this wasn’t a minor fight. You actually pissed Kun off to his limits and you knew you had to apologize if you wanted him to continue to like you. That is if he actually does like you and wasn’t flirting and messing with you in the library for laughs and payback for all the mischief you had caused during your two years of knowing each other. 

However, to your dismay, you had been waiting at the park right across the carnival for three hours. And you were getting quite chilly (curse your past self for wanting to look good and had decided to wear you newest short sleeved shirt) and the wound in your heart was slowly opening up again the longer you waited. You’ve sent around five to seven texts by now and you were starting to wonder if he was just busy or if he was purposely ignoring you. 

Y/n: Yuh Kunners   16:49

Y/n: are you coming anytime soon?? Remember we were gonna hang out today right?????    16:50

One missed call from y/n

Y/n: I’m waiting in the park like we planned. Are you on the way lol   17:10

Y/n: kun im getting cold lmfao get over here before i turn into a living ice cube   17:37

Two missed calls from y/n

Y/n: dude i spent an hour choosing my clothes pls come ive been waiting for hours  18:49

Y/n: kun???? Cmon i know u were mad but u cant just stand me up here lmfao :,}   19:00

Two missed calls from y/n

Y/n: i guess ur not coming, huh  19:45

You sighed heavily, feeling your eyes burn as you watch people coming in and out of the carnival, gripping tightly onto the saddle of your bag as you begin to walk to the exit of the park. You pressed the back of your hand to one of your eyes when you realised you couldn’t hold back a tear, blinking rapidly when you started to feel them begging to leak out of your eyes like a broken tap. But you knew you couldn’t just cry like a loser in public just because someone stood you up. 

Your thoughts begin to wander as you make your way down the sidewalk and towards the bus station, feeling your heavy heart slowly sink down to the bottom of your stomach with every step you take. You could admit that you did go a little too far back at the theater room considering so many people had warned you to lay off the joking around for just one day so as to not make Kun’s temper go off the charts. You should’ve listened to them, you could admit that. 

But you also knew that you didn’t deserve to be stood up like this.

And it sucked. 

How could he just yell at you, storm off, proceeded to ignore you like the plague at school, then ghost your text and stand you up just like that without an apology or an explanation? Hell, he didn’t even read your texts. 

“Y/n?” 

You looked up from the ground with wide eyes, recognizing that melodious voice you’ve been longing to hear for the past three days. “Kun,” you mumbled almost inaudibly, your eyes widened slightly to see Qian Kun in his casual attire that could easily send your heart into a heart attack. “What are you doing here?” he asked, coughing awkwardly as he took in your whole look, feeling his breath being taken away by the mere sight of you being more dressed up than you usually are. 

“Waiting for you,” you deadpanned as if it wasn’t obvious enough, feeling your tears dissipate when you finally made eye contact with the boy in front of you, whose eyes grew wide at your words. “Me?” Kun’s eyebrows were raised in surprise, confusion glossing over his facial expression as he pointed a finger to himself. “Remember we planned a carnival date two weeks ago? Or are you just still mad at me for what happened in the theater room?” you asked, giving him a sad smile. 

Kun’s face turned pale at the reminder, your words hitting him like a brick when he realised he had stood you up for who knows how long considering the bus stop you two were standing on was quite the long walk from the carnival. “Oh fuck,” he blurted out when your words finally sink into him, an apologetic expression washing over him as you crossed your arms in front of your chest. “Are you that mad that you just had to stand me up?” you furrowed your brows, taking a step towards him. 

“Y/n, I’m so so sorry,” he started but you cut him off to give him a piece of your mind. “Look I admit, what happened at the theater was my fault and I should’ve listened to you instead of pushing your buttons and causing trouble. But was it really that bad that you had to keep me waiting here for not two- but three hours? I know I was- I am immensely annoying and I’m truly sorry for that,” you took a deep breath to keep yourself from getting too emotional in front of him as Kun stared guiltily at you.

“That was completely on me but that doesn’t give you a valid excuse or reason to stand me up for three hours, Kun,” your gaze hardened as you stared teary eyed inot Kun’s sad ones. He gazed up at down at your hopeless figure, swallowing at what he’s about to do as he leaned towards you to grab your hands in his, giving them a tight squeeze as he lifted them up to his chest. Your eyes widened at the sudden contact, despite the fact that you’ve literally hugged him on stage before. But there was something in his actions that made it seem more intimate in a way.

 “I don’t know what to do or say to make you feel better but all I can say is that I’m sorry, I'm so so sorry,” he started, running his thumbs over your knuckles. 

“I swear, I know it isn’t an excuse but I’ve been so stressed the past couple of days with the play, the big assignments at the end of every semester and I recently got this internship deal and I just started today. I completely forgot about today, I’m so so sorry. I promise I’ll make it up to you, and about the theater-” he swallowed down the guilt bubbling up inside of him as the memory of your hurt expression resurfaced in his mind once again. (which sort of brought him to the point of avoiding you all around campus)

“I had my phone on mute during the internship and I must’ve missed your texts. I’m assuming you sent me some because I know for a fact your impatient ass would probably bombard my phone with calls and texts,” he joked, laughing lightly when he realised now isn’t the most appropriate time to joke around considering you two were in a very tight situation. He gave you a small smile, his eyes filled with a small glint of hope as he took a step and tugged your hands so that he could enclose whatever proximity you two had left in between you.

“I’m so sorry. I know you might not forgive me but I hope you can give me a chance to make it up to you. Right here, right now. The carnival isn’t closing until midnight after all,” he suggested with a small shrug, looking down at his wrist watch before gazing back up to your eyes with a soft expression. You bit your lip, gazing down at your hands being held delicately in his, his thumb caressing your knuckles softly as you gave it a small thought. 

You gave him a genuine smile, your heart lightening as you came to find that you couldn’t refuse anything when Kun was giving you a look as if you were the only thing valuable to him in the world at that moment. 

“Sure, Kunt.”

“Can we just have one day without you pushing my buttons?”

“I have the right to call you day considering you’ve been an absolute Kunt this week, get over it.”

-

“Okay, ladies. I have a confession to make,” you took a deep exhale as you walked over to the food table where your friends were sitting in before the actual performance. “You like Kun?” Brooke raised her brow, opening her mouth as Ten leaned over the table to give her a spoonful of the sweet dessert he was having. Your jaw dropped when you realised she beat you to your own confession but however you weren’t backing down from an opportunity to mess around with your friends. 

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Nope.”

“Yep.”

“I really really like Kun,” you confessed all of a sudden, causing Kai to choke on her ice cream at the sudden news. “That’s so sudden,” she exclaimed with a hoarse cough, leaning over to steal Hyuck’s cup of coffee as she chugged it down while patting her chest. “Cat’s out of the bag, I like Qian Kun. But are you all really surprised?” you sighed, sitting down beside Lin as you sipped on your own drink with a nonchalant shrug.

“Excuse me?” a sudden voice spoke up. 

You stopped sipping loudly at the familiar voice, turning your head around slowly to come in eye contact with none other than Qian Kun himself who was in the middle of eating his fruit salad. His brows furrowed in confusion as your eyes grew wide, embarrassment creeping up your cheeks as your jaw dropped open, your thoughts messy as you try to find the words to speak. “You didn’t tell me Kun was here,” you hissed at your friends, choosing the option to act as if Kun wasn’t sitting right beside you this whole time. 

“Dude you’re literally blind, he was here the whole time,” Kai deadpanned, giving you a look that completely expressed how she was fed up with your idiocy for the day. “Can I speak now?” Kun pipped up, a smirk stretched on his lips as he watched your flustered figure retaliate against your friend’s words for calling you blind despite the fact that you kind of are in a way. “Nope, nevermind!” you shook your head abruptly, standing up as you gripped your handbag and slung it over your shoulder. 

“You didn’t hear me say shit! Obliviate!” you used the straw the cashier gave you as a wand, waving it in front of Kun before you ran for dear life to the one place where he can’t get in: also known as the women’s dressing room. “Oh no you’re not! You can’t just Harry Potter reference you’re way out of this confession,” you could hear the chair grinding against the tile floor, signalling that Kun had got up to follow after you as you both laughed loudly.

“Go away, Kun!” 

You knew that confessing that you like Kun wasn’t that big of a deal considering you did almost cry in front of him when he stood you up a couple of days ago on your carnival date. And you were definitely more than sure that he had reciprocated your feelings considering how he was smiling nonstop (Plus the fact that the apples of his cheeks and ears were tinted pink) after you pressed a small peck on his cheek at the end of the date right as he dropped you off at the bus stop. 

But it wouldn’t be fun if you continued to act as bashful as you did back at the carnival date, would it? 

You and Kun let out small lighthearted giggles as you shut the door of your dressing room to his face, provoking him even more as you jokingly told him to ‘fuck off’ considering you two have about thirty minutes left until you have to get on stage. Yes, you were using this as a delightful excuse to do your make up and dress up fifteen minutes earlier than the rest of the cast considering it was quite a long play and you wanted to reread your script and calm your nerves before show time.

-

“Princess Putri, my love, my little songbird! Oh how all of these years of holding myself back, all these years of fighting and hoping to reunite with you once again and hold you in my arms,” Kun recited as you ran towards him, into his arms which were stretched open wide, waiting to wrap around you in a tight and loving embrace. With a single, meaty tear, you jumped into his arms. Letting him spin you around like the princess you were portraying as the piano music became loud and almost deafening, almost letting you believe that you were in your own world.

Going against the script, you wrapped your arms around Kun’s neck, leaning your head towards his to nuzzle his nose against yours lovingly, eliciting a laugh from said boy as he placed you back on your two feet. “Oh how I’ve been longing to feel your lips against mine,” he leaned his forehead against yours, his words going against the script as he wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you closer to him. Placing his free gloved hand on your chin, his thumb caressing your lips as the camera zoomed in on your expressions. 

Your raw emotions being captured on the camera as you gaze back at Kun lovingly, a loopy smile stretched across your face as you scanned his features. His blonde hair poking out of the hat he was wearing, his front bangs messy and slightly wet with sweat with the sword fighting scene he had with Haechan earlier on stage moments prior. Your heart was beating rapidly against your chest, your breathing hitched as Kun slowly leaned his head towards yours, closer than he should be as the piano music in the background began to slow down. 

His eyes gazed up and down from your eyes to your lips, his tongue darting out to wet his own as his dark pupils sparkled under the theater light, the audience as silent as mice as they waited in anticipation for the long awaited kiss scene. “May I?” he whispered almost breathily, his melodious soft voice sending shivers down your spine, the microphone attached to his cheek picking up on his almost inaudible words. His eyes gazed up at yours for your consent as your lips parted into a wide grin.

You leaned forward, nodding softly with a wide smile on your face. He let out a soft chuckle, lips inching closer to yours as your free hand tugged on the tips of his hat to tease the audience by blocking the kiss scene completely from them as his lips pressed against yours. His hand that was on your chin moved up to your cheek as he leaned his head to the side slightly for a better angle, hearing the audience break out into a loud applause as you gripped onto his hat tighter to cover up the fact that the two of you were practically making out in front of a hundred people. 

Your eyes shut tight as you basked into the feeling of Kun’s soft, slightly chapped lips against yours, the cherry lipstick probably making a mark on his lips as you moved yours against his in sync as Kun’s hand that was on your cheek moved to turn off your mic and his own as he refused to pull away from you. He leaned his face so that he could deepen the kiss, not caring about the lipstick you were wearing that was currently smearing and staining his lips a rosey pink. 

“Holy shit, are they actually making out?” Haechan whispered aloud backstage, leaning his head forward slightly so as to not accidentally get caught by the applauding audience as Lin and Doyoung pulled on the rope to close the curtains. “Did anyone get that on camera?” Kai hissed, looking at the other club members in hopes of finding someone with their camera phone up, smiling widely when she saw Ten and Brooke holding up their phones up with big grins on their faces. 

“YOU MORONS, STOP RECORDING AND CLOSE THE CURTAINS!” Doyoung exclaimed from the other side of the stage. 

-

“Are we just going to ignore the fact that you two just made out in front of a couple hundred people?” Ten chuckled, replaying the video of you and Kun kissing in front of the whole campus and probably their parents, siblings and grandparents. “Plus the owner of the school and the theater majors,” Brooke added with a soft snicker as Ten pulled her close to him in a tight embrace as they and a few other club members gathered around to watch the video. “Priceless, who knew our favorite dynamic duo would end up making out in front of the whole campus?” Kai teased, wiggling her eyebrows at you. 

“Shut up,” you grumbled, leaning your head down on the table to avoid the knowing smirks of your club members. “I didn’t know you were all suppose to bully me today, I would’ve brought a pan to smack you all into tomorrow if I knew this was going to happen,” you added, mumbling small curses incoherently as your friends considered to snicker at your uncharacteristically flustered and bashful state. 

You remembered immediately running off from the stage once your club members started applauding and whistling at you as soon as you pulled away from the deep kiss. You and Kun both had flustered expressions stretched across your faces when you saw the smudged lipstick stains on both of your lips, panting for air as you stared wide eyed at each other. You were also sure Kun had run off to his own dressing room to save himself from any more teasing. (especially from Ten)

As soon as you locked the door to your dressing room, you couldn’t stop your heart from beating rapidly against your chest. The butterflies in your stomach swarming as if there was an earthquake, a giddy feeling bubbling up in your chest. You swore it took everything inside of you to not scream your emotions out into the bag you brought today, but you survived after drinking lots of water to calm yourself down (despite the fact that you could feel a giddy smile stretch across your lips whenever your mind wanders back to the soft makeout session you and Kun had merely moments ago. 

“Hey, can we talk?” Kun’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts, causing your head to shoot up from your leaning position on the table. Eyes wide as you both stared in awe at each other, feeling your hearts race when Kun coughed awkwardly to break the awkward tension settling in between the two of you. “I-” you were soon cut off by Kai, who popped out of nowhere to push you up to your feet with a mischievous grin stretched across her face. 

“Of course, go ahead. Take your time, after all you are done here, right?” Kai gripped your shoulders tightly when you opened your mouth to speak, realising that for once in your life you didn’t know what to say in situations like this. “Right! Now, off you go!” She exclaimed with a soft giggle, shoving your bag in your hands before pushing you towards Kun, ignoring the death glare you were sending her as you followed Kun out of the theater room. 

Kun shoved his hand in his pockets, racking through his brain to think of something to say to break the awkward tension. “So,” he started, wincing at how awkward he sounded before proceeding with his words. “Are we going to talk about what happened back there or?” Kun raised his brow at you, finally turning his head to make eye contact. You bit your lip nervously, looking down at your feet before gulping and looking back up at him. 

“Not until you- you uh-,” you coughed, pointing a finger at the corner of his mouth. “You got a little- a little lipstick there, bro,” you quietly pointed out, internally cringing at how awkward you two were despite the fact that you were fine with shamelessly running away from him after confessing your crush on him with laughs and giggles in between. Kun’s eyes widened at your statement, wiping the corner of his lips with the back of his hand as he mumbled small apologies under his breath. 

Kun paused when you finally told him that the lipstick was finally wiped off. “Did you just call me ‘bro’?” he deadpanned, furrowing his brows in confusion. The atmosphere slowly returning to normal upon his obvious question as your eyes widened in a panic. “I don’t know! I panicked! We’ve never had a post make out conversation before. Or a conversation that doesn’t involve you glaring daggers into my head, I swear if looks could kill,” you shot back, waving your hands around as Kun let out a light chuckle.

“So, do you like Messi?” you asked after a pregnant pause, clasping your hands behind your back with a small smile. Kun raised his brow at you, chuckling softly at your words. “Is that supposed to be a Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo reference?” he asked, letting out a soft giggle when you nodded shamelessly in response, wide smiles stretching on both of your lips as you looked down at your slightly dirty shoes. 

“Can we talk now?” he asked, leaning his body against the wall as you both stared at each other in silence. Except, this time the silence was no longer awkward. Hell, it was almost comforting. 

“Of course, yeah. Sure,” you nodded, trying to keep your cool as Kun took a step towards you. “Well, for starters, I really enjoyed- I mean- fuck,” Kun started, scrunching his face when he realised he was stumbling over his words, rubbing his face in frustration. “What I meant to say was I really liked kissing you,” he looked down nervously, eliciting a small smile from you as you had never seen the calm and collected Qian Kun this flustered in front of you. And you couldn’t even believe the fact that you were the one who was the main reason why he was like this. 

“I don’t know if you meant what you said when you said you liked me before the performance, but fuck it. I really really like you and I really do want to be more than friends or club members,” Kun chuckled, swallowing his nerves down as he fiddled with his fingers in front of you, his dimples protruding on his cheeks as he gave you a cute, toothy smile. You couldn’t help but push your own nerves back to tease him, raising your brow as you gave him a cheeky grin. 

“Is Qian Kun simping for me, right now?” you teased. 

Kun let out a light laugh, shaking his head at you profusely at the sight of your own light expression. “I guess I am,” he shrugged with a staggering laugh, joining you in your small fit of giggles. “Well in that case, I’m just here waiting for you to pop the question,” you placed the back of your hands on your hips, giving him an encouraging smile despite the fact that your heart was beating oh-so-loudly in your ears. 

At this point his eyes had turned into small moon shapes from how wide he was smiling and his cheeks were starting to hurt. “Pop the question? What is this? A marriage proposal?” he teased, raising his brow at you suggestively. Now it was his turn to tease you. 

“Shut up, you know what I mean,” you smacked his arm jokingly, giggling along with him bashfully. 

He took another step towards you, leaning towards you to grab your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours tightly. Giving your hand a loving squeeze, he took a deep breath as he looked down at your intertwined hands. “May I be your boyfriend, then?” he asked, a soft, boyish smile on his face. The happy glint in his eyes never leaving him as he stared lovingly into yours, taking in your features slowly as you giggled lightly. 

“Whipped Kun hitting different,” you commented, eliciting a laugh from your senior as he squeezed your hand in his gingerly once again. 

“Just say yes so I can kiss you again,” he rolled his eyes at you, his soft smile never leaving his face. 

You puckered your lips gingerly, answering him with your actions as you waited for him to press his lips against yours. “I’m waiting, Kun,” you said with puckered lips, giggling softly. Kun let out a light hearted laugh (which was sure to add ten years to your life span the more you listen to it) as he commented on how uncharacteristically adorable you were being at that exact moment, earning a loud complaint from you as you frowned at him. “I guess you don’t want me to say yes,” you sighed heavily, sniffing for dramatics as you raised your free hand to your eyes to let out a fake cry. 

“You’re so dramatic, I’m so close to taking it back,” Kun muttered under his breath before reaching over to cup your cheek with his free hand to turn your face back to face his. Pressing his lips against yours in a soft, passionate kiss, he smiled when he heard you giggle against his lips while squeezing his hand that was intertwined against yours at your sides. 

¤ tagging: @kunrengui @chiffonymark @lebrookestore @leetaeyonglover @oifelixcmerebrou @fruityutas @vera-liscious @c-sanshine @thats-a-jen-no-no @coco-riki @stayzenniesstuff @stayctday @yunntext @qianinterprises @dreamyyang @channoticedmeuwu​ @caratinylyfe​

[lisxdumbr]

Yahallo !! prev theme suggestion anon is back because my brain decided to generate more.. ideas !!!

Disclaimer: I actually have your desktop theme in mind while thinking of stuff for the prev ask ✿ that's why there's so many colors, I'm thinking of the glowy neon symbols you have colored with them <3

- first of all, i'd like to confirm if Día de Muertos (Day of the Dead) is also celebrated in your country, since you mentioned that you are Hispanic!! I am unsure if it's okay to use as an aesthetic theme(disclaimer: i'm not hispanic myself,,), so please disregard this suggestion if it is not respectful to the culture !!;;

So about this one, the reason I specifically suggest this for November is because Acanthe outfits could go well with it.

The flowers in both MV and outfits are an excellent element used in the festival, and add to that the ruffles that could never vanish in Valkyrie's aesthetic (i thought of the mexican dresses' ruffles!). The theme will be basically black adorned with colorful festival elements, which I think is so neat ! If their faces could be edited with the festive skull paint, then that's a win~

- Moving on, since you mentioned the Haunted Dolls of Valkyrie... I get reminded that Chiaki also has a jiangshi themed card!! Plus Natsume has an onryo (vengeful spirit) card (tried to do research for other cards) Both have hitodama/onibi (blue ghost wisps) on the cards

2wink and Switch is so Halloween material besides UNDEAD and even with their regular outfits they'd still pass.

- kuromi mayoi halloween version with edited orange parts in the clothing <3 That reminds me of sanrio halloween plushies too !! there's definitely a lot of them, can be good theme decorations and inspo.

- Are you familiar with the dripping liquid across the posts dividers? It might be perfect for halloween theme !!

- Actually, just throw in the ENbasic! chibis,,

thank you once again^^~ who knows, maybe i'll be back again (`･ω･)ゞ Forgot to say welcome earlier, I'm glad I could be even of little help to you!!! <333 It means a lot to me !! :D

HI ANON. I'm glad to see you again !! And YEAH I do celebrate day of the dead, I'm Mexican actually ! I just say Hispanic for,, anonymity (???) when reblogging public stuff. But this is my own blog, so it's ok, the followers can know.

I love your Acanthe idea btw, though we use a very specific flower for the celebration 👀 cempasúchil (I think the action name is Damasquina or something but tbh I don't care). But !! I mean, that fits the orange aesthetic you were going after in the first ask. And YEAH I'd love to edit the skull faces for them. Mika catrín,, thinking very hard.

I still think I could divide my themes in two phases though. The mayoi Kuromi idea sounds nice !! I'll search for the Sanrio plushies later (they could be useful for the pinned idk)

PLEASE, YOU'RE SO BIG BRAINED I adore you. Let me know if you want a name !! or if you want to be an emoji anon, anything is valid <3

[jlalafics]

“Lesson Learned”-Part 1 of ?

Here I go again--this was supposed to be a one-shot, but now it’s multiple parts...

For @sunflowerslyf who requested a fic based on this post about fanfiction and porn.

I have to say that I kept a little fluff in it though...because I need it.

____

Summary: Sometimes Katniss asks too much of Peeta. This time she’s gone too far. College Everlark. Katniss and Peeta POV’s.

“So, will you do it?” I asked him, my heart pounding. “Will you help me?”

Sitting across from me on my couch, my childhood friend Peeta stares at me in shock. He’s holding my throw pillow against his chest…almost defensively.

If we’re being honest, Peeta has every reason to be wary of me. There wasn’t a day when we were children that I wasn’t coming up with some sort of idea that usually got him hurt or in trouble.

“What idiot suggested that you do this?” he asks immediately.

I look towards the closed bedroom door, where my roommate is sleeping off her hangover, before responding, “Johanna.”

“Figures,” he mutters. “I don’t think so, Katniss.” Peeta smiles gently; it’s the same smile he gives me right before he’s about the lay some truth on me—truth I usually don’t want to hear. “I mean, you’re pretty, but I don’t see you like that.”

My jaw drops at his words. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I’m not sexually attracted to you,” he replies calmly.

It’s one step away from patting my head and calling me a ‘good girl’—and my indignation rises.

“What? My breasts aren’t big enough?” I reach over and take his hand, pressing his palm into it. “This does nothing for you?”

“I mean, of course if there’s a tit in your hand, your body is going to react.” Peeta meets my eyes, hand still on my chest. “Why is this so important to you?”

I take a deep breath. “There’s this guy.”

“And here we go…” He stands down under my glare. “Okay, so the guy?”

“He’s beautiful,” I sigh, my thoughts going to dirty blond hair and steel blue eyes. “His name is Cato and I think I’d like him…to be my first.”

My friend’s eyes soften at my declaration. “Are you sure?”

I nod eagerly. “Yes. What do you think?”

Peeta puts the pillow down, scooting over to me, before holding out his arms. “Get in here.”

Easily, I fall into them, my head going to his chest and my arms going around his lean waist.

“Please, Peeta.”

“I don’t think that he should be your first,” he tells me bluntly. “The first time usually sucks; it’s supposed to be painful and bloody for women…”

Sitting up, I contemplate his words. I know extraordinarily little when it comes to sex; my mom left us when I was ten and Dad tried his hardest, but there are some things that you need a woman for.

That’s when Peeta’s mother stepped in. She was the one who helped me when I got my period, needed my first bra, and even when I caught Peeta’s older brother tongue deep inside some girl’s mouth and I had questions.

Rye still hasn’t forgiven me for busting him out.

However, I neglected to ask her about sex.

On the other hand, asking Melsa about being penetrated is significantly different than asking her tampons versus pads.

I think I can understand why my roommate suggested I talk to Peeta. He’s known me my whole life and is never one to hold back. Neither have I and we can be painfully honest with one another. I’m surprised we’re still friends after everything we’ve shared between each other—both awkward and non-awkward.

Then it comes to me and I can feel my mouth widen into a grin.

“You have a bad idea,” Peeta says immediately. “I can already see it brewing inside that thick skull of yours.”

“You do it,” I say.

“Do what?” My friend looks me over, starting down from my face to the breasts he had been reluctantly fondling, and then down to the leggings—or specifically the V between my thighs. His eyes immediately widen in realization. “No.”

“You said it would be bad,” I argue. “I rather it be bad with someone who’s at least going to tell me honestly how I can make it better the next time around. Also, I won’t cry if it hurts around you.”

“Why is that?” he asked.

“Because you make me brave,” I tell him. “Every scary moment in my life, you’ve held my hand. When my mom left, you were there. When Prim got sick and ended up having an appendectomy, you were there. Even when I contemplated not going to Panem University, you held my hand as we got on the train to leave.”

“More like forced you to leave.” Peeta eyes me for a moment. “You don’t have to have sex with Cato to make him like you. If he’s a good guy, then he’ll respect your need to wait.”

“It’s not that.” I feel my mouth start to tremble. “I’ve always felt like I was little behind since Mom left. I’m just tired of not knowing anything.”

Peeta sighs. “Okay.”

“You will?” I’m practically bouncing in my seat and Peeta smiles handsomely as he watches me. Launching myself into his arms, I kiss his cheek. “You’re awesome, you know that right?”

“Seriously Katniss, you have no idea of the effect you have on me.”

++++++

Friday night

What am I doing?

I look at myself in the bathroom mirror, seeing my usual mussed blond hair and blue eyes—except there’s panic in them.

There’s a buzz on my phone and I find a message from Katniss: I’m ready when you are.

It’s followed by a winky face emoji.

Putting my phone in my back pocket, I step out of the bathroom and am greeted by my roommates, Gale and Finnick, eyes on the television and controllers in their hands. Their stares momentarily catch mine as I head towards the door.

“I’ll see you guys on Sunday night,” I tell them.

“Did you tell us where you were going?” Gale asks, his eyes going back to the screen.

“Home,” I reply quickly.

If home is my friend’s vagina.

“Cool,” Finnick adds distractedly as his player has just been critically hit. “Lock the door on your way out.”

Nodding, I head down the hallway and open the front door just as Gale wins. Finnick is yelling bloody murder as I close it behind me.

Katniss’ apartment is just a few blocks away, so I opt to walk, contemplating why I agreed to do this for her. Besides the fact that I don’t want her first time to be with some douchebag—and Cato is one, based on a few people I know that used to hang with him—I want it to be something she’ll remember.

Because here’s the truth; I’ve always loved her.

As a friend and a confidant at first then sometime around high school, she became the source of many morning erections and moony-eyed stares. I was confused because for a long time I never thought of her as a girl, but as Katniss, my neighbor and friend. It was really my oldest brother Bran who opened that can of worms, remarking on how well she had grown up since the last time he saw her.

It was like a switch had turned on.

Suddenly, I couldn’t stop staring at her.

Was her hair always that shiny? Did her eyes always look so seductively smoky?

Senior year was torture for me, especially watching her go to prom with Marvel—an idiot and a douche (why does she always choose douches?), in my opinion. Though the night did end with her coming over to my house to eat cake before falling asleep during a Harry Potter marathon instead of the usual after party.

Suddenly, I’m in front of her apartment building.

Am I really going to take her virginity?

Then, there’s the other question that looms in my head: am I really going to let her take mine?

For as much bravado as I claim to have, I have no idea what I’m doing.

And, I’m a liar.

Because, despite what I told her, I am sexually attracted to Katniss, I’m attracted to her in every which way.

Taking the elevator up to her floor, I walk to her door and knock.

Katniss answers quickly, wearing nothing but a knee-length black robe.

Hot damn.

She gives me a welcoming smile, widening the door for me.

“Come in.”

[vennilavee]

The Countdown

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: you and bucky have a small fight before a mission during the holidays and you’re both irked at each other.

Warnings: cursing, alcohol

Word Count: 2791

A/N: inspired by s1e14 of the oc titled ‘the countdown’. i only watched the first season, but i always thought the new year’s kiss moment was beautiful. i listened to dice by finley quaye a lot while writing this (also found this song on the same episode of the oc)

_______________________________________________________________________

“You were supposed to be home for the holidays! And for the new year!” You say, irritation stewing in your belly. You cross your arms and shift your weight to your right side.

“I was home for Christmas! Doesn’t that count for something?” Bucky retorts.

“Neither of us even celebrate Christmas like that…”

“So? I was still here!”

“We were supposed to ring in the new decade together!”

“So what would you have me do? Tell the world to pause just because you want a New Year’s kiss?”

“Well, excuse me for wanting to start the new year and the new decade with my boyfriend! I guess I’m asking for too much from you, huh?”

“I guess you are!”

You roll your eyes so far to the back of your head that you are certain you can see the whites of your skull. You look away from him, so he can’t see the hurt in your chest. Why is he so nonchalant about it? Doesn’t it mean as much to him as it does to you?

Evidently not.

“Whatever. Have fun. Be safe I guess. Don’t get too injured. I won’t help you with anything more than bruised knuckles.”

I love you, you stupid idiot.

Bucky lets out a chuckle despite himself. He’s already dressed in his tactical suit, buckles and velcro done and all. You knew he had to go, but damn, would it kill him to look a little sad about leaving you for over a week and missing New Year's Eve and New Year's Day with you?

You can hear Sam calling for him out in the kitchen of your apartment.

“Well, I guess you’ve gotta go,” You shrug, “Have fun on your trip. You guys are going to Bali, right?”

“Don’t be like that,” Bucky murmurs, a faint cloud forming in his normally clear eyes.

“Enjoy your beers and your Mai-Tais, Samuel,” You call out, narrowing your eyes at Bucky.

“Leave me outta it, baby girl,” Sam replies.

You hand Bucky his black duffel, trying to thrust it at him and failing because of how heavy it was. He quirks his lips in amusement but falters when you send him a searing glare.

“I’ll see ya when I see ya,” Bucky says. You’re about ready to bite his head off. Why can’t he see it? Why can’t he feel it the way you do?

“Yeah. See ya when I see ya,” You echo, trying to swallow the lump in your throat.

***

“‘See ya when I see ya?’ That was the saddest string of words in the English language I’ve ever heard,” Sam says, thumping Bucky on the back of his head. 

“Oh really? Thanks for your opinion,” Bucky snarks, “She knew I had to go!”

“So? She’s allowed to not be happy about it.”

Bucky silences him with a glare and Sam rolls his eyes.

“Y’all are both some idiots.”

***

Bucky hadn’t even kissed you goodbye or told you he was going to miss you. The thought that he wouldn’t miss you leaves you motionless and in tears.

Does he still love you? Does he even like you? How could he look at you like that, like you were annoying him? As if he didn’t love you more than life itself, as if he didn’t spend every night falling asleep to your soft, rhythmic breaths? As if his crevices didn’t match yours, as if his stormy blue didn’t seek your brown warmth?

Had he even looked at you like that? As if you were an annoyance to quell? 

He hadn’t kissed you. He hadn’t said goodbye to you.

You can’t help but wonder- is he thinking about you?

***

You haven’t sent Bucky a single text, emoji, meme or photo. It’s been four days since Bucky said ‘he’d see ya when he sees ya’, and the words (or lack thereof) rattle in his mind mercilessly.

They could replace Hydra’s trigger words, he thinks darkly.

But you hadn’t even kissed him goodbye or told him you would miss him. He can’t get your sad, brown eyes out of his mind or the way you had folded in on yourself with your arms twisted together like vines after you had handed him your duffle bag.

He’s half expecting you to dump his stuff out in front of your apartment, indicating that you’re through with him and the darkness and the missions and the waiting and just… all of it.

You deserve better, he tells Sam grimly as they are staking out a Hydra base in the middle of Mount Batur in Bali. Bucky can’t help but think that Hydra is incredibly stupid for building a new base in such a heavy tourist location. But maybe they needed a change in scenery.

Sam had sent Bucky a glare, as if to say ‘is this really the best time?’

Bucky sighs, “Why was that so dramatic? ‘I’ll see you when I see you? Seriously? God, I want to electrocute myself every time I remember that I said that.”

“Tell Zemo that. He’ll be more than happy to fulfill that wish of yours,” Sam snorts.

“I miss her,” Bucky whines, “I’m so stupid, Sam.”

“So tell her,” Sam says simply with a small smile, “Including that last part. Multiple times.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t even kiss her or say goodbye. I’m the worst. But I wouldn’t blame her. If she wanted to go, I mean. I feel like I’m too much and not enough at the same time,” Bucky confesses softly, anxiety filling his voice.

“Sounds like you both need to sit down and talk. But before that, just call her-”

Bucky’s already calling you, eyes automatically searching for your name and the star emoji next to it. International fees be damned.

“I didn’t mean right now!”

***

You’re absent-mindedly scrolling on your phone, the blue light from the screen keeping your mind stimulated despite the fatigue behind your eyes. It’s 3:12 AM, you’re sleeping on Bucky’s side of the bed and you miss him. You wonder what he’s doing- is he safe? Is Sam safe? Is he protected? Does he know that you love him?

You can’t believe you let him go without saying goodbye, without a kiss, without telling him you loved him. You just said ‘you’d see him when you see him’. Well, in your defense, he said it first.

Hovering over his name, you contemplate calling him. Nah. He’s probably busy.

But he always told you he’d never be too busy for you. And that was true- you had called him a few times in the middle of anxiety attacks, or during a bout of insomnia- just to name a few instances. Despite the fact that he had been in the crux of a mission, fighting people off, dodging bullets left and right… He had tucked his cell phone in the crook of his neck and ear to calm you down in his low, comforting voice. You had been able to hear the rhythmic beats of his footsteps, with the occasional yell as he told you about his day, told you to follow his breaths, and listed the things he liked and loved about you. His voice was your favorite melody, a melody that fills you up with warmth and familiarity. 

You sigh and stare at the ceiling before feeling the buzz of a phone call in the palm of your hand.

Bucky’s name with a yellow heart emoji, along with a photo of both of you pops up on your phone and you accept the call quickly, butterflies strumming in your belly.

“Hi,” You say breathlessly.

“Hi,” Bucky says, sounding equally as breathless. You can hear Sam yelling at him for being distracted, you can hear commotion, glass breaking and doors slamming. But it’s all background noise.

“Are you okay?” You ask, “It’s like… 8 AM over there. Early morning Hydra base break in?” 

“Yeah. I haven’t even had a coffee yet, can you believe it?”

“Those Hydra guys won’t know what hit ‘em,” You chuckle.

There’s a beat of silence between both of you. 

“Hey… I’m sorry I left things so weird before I left. I’ll see ya when I see ya? Who the fuck says that,” Bucky mutters and smiles when you laugh, “I miss you, I’m sorry I won’t be there to start the new year with you, sweetheart. I’m such an idiot. And I’m sorry I made you feel so small.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye to you,” You whisper, “I miss you, I always do.”

“I know, honey. I always do, too,” Bucky murmurs, closely evading a punch to the stomach and a kick to the shins, “Save a kiss for me, will ya?” 

Bucky groans when he gets punched in the nose and you wince at the cracking sound.

“Ouch, that didn’t sound so good,” You remark, “Come back to me in one piece, will ya?” 

“I will,” Bucky promises, “I gotta bring you out here someday. You’d love it.”

“I think I would, too. Bali looks beautiful. We’d both get nice and tan on those pretty beaches.”

“You’re already tan,” Bucky snorts, “You’d get that nice, bronzed glow.”

“And don’t you forget it,” You yawn widely.

“Get some rest, honey,” Bucky murmurs. You hear a muffled explosion in the background and somehow you still yawn.

“Be careful out there, sweetheart,” You reply mildly and then after a second, “I’ll see ya when I see ya.”

“Stop making fun of me,” Bucky whines and you laugh.

“Goodnight, honey.”

***

Specks of gold sit on the walls of your friend’s apartment, glittering at every turn of your head. It’s simple, paired with a large balloon of a bottle of Moet champagne, with smaller balloons coming out of the opening of the bottle. Strings of pale yellow fairy lights line the ceilings of the apartment, casting a slight glow on everyone in attendance.

Your friends have outdone themselves this year. They had asked for your recommendations on decorations, which had been your duty. So truly, you had outdone yourself this year. There is a station for champagne bottles chilling in buckets of ice and champagne flutes. And another station of liquor, mixers and solo cups to drink out of, as well as finger foods and snacks. It had been a potluck style party and everyone brought different entrees to have for dinner.

You had objected to the red solo cups- “We can afford to drink out of something nicer than red solo cups!”

And the subsequent retort- “And who’s going to wash all the glasses, huh?”

So the red solo cups stayed and you tried your best to not think about how out of place they looked with all of the gold and glitter. Everyone was wearing a mix of black, silver, gold or burgundy. And you? You were wearing a silk, olive green camisole, black pants and a black blazer with a glittery finish to it. Golden teardrops hang on your earlobes, swishing with every turn of your head and a necklace that Bucky had bought you sits along on the column of your throat. You had left your chunky heels at the door- of course you wanted to show off your New Year’s manicure and pedicure to your friends.

Several rounds of games go by- Cards Against Humanity, What do you Meme, and of course, beer pong and flip cup and then more food and drink. It’s about thirty minutes to midnight and you haven’t heard from Bucky in a few hours. You had sent him photos of yourself getting ready, selfies with your friends and of the decorations. All of the texts say that they’ve been delivered. But maybe he’s busy.

You’re starting to feel the sting a little bit when couples start to get cozy with one another, some cuddling subtly and some cuddling not so subtly. You check your phone once more, wondering where in the world Bucky could be. At least you have the solace that he’s safe- he had told you that everything was okay, they had gotten the information they needed. Him and Sam were safe.

Sticking your phone in the back pocket of your pants and fixing yourself a mixed drink, you rally everyone together for toasts to end the decade off. With Bucky burning brightly in the back of your mind.

***

You call Bucky at 11:56 PM. You’re not sure where he is, if he’ll even have cell reception, but you do it anyway. He doesn’t answer and you go straight to voicemail. It’s 11:58 PM by the time you decide to leave him a voicemail.

“Hi,” You begin, “Um… It’s probably already next year where you are, right? Happy new year, honey. To many more new years, new adventures and new… everything. I’ll text you in the morning, miss you, love you.”

With your heart feeling a little lighter, you join your friends in the living room to watch the countdown live. You don’t notice that one of your friends has disappeared and another one has a sly look on her face when she glances over to you.

***

Bucky is sweating bullets. He’s been running around the city for the last hour, from one edge to another. Sam and Bucky had finished up their mission late on the day before New Year’s Eve and Bucky thought it would be cute to surprise you before midnight on New Year’s day.

But of course, their quinjet had had a few technical difficulties, they had run into some trouble, and it had taken them behind schedule a few hours. 

So now, Bucky is currently sprinting to Williamsburg from the subway station because the subway car going to Brooklyn is currently out of service for the next forty-five minutes.

Just his luck. This is the most stressed Bucky has probably ever been.

***

It’s 11:56 PM when Bucky feels his phone vibrating. He quickly checks who it is, silencing it when he sees that it’s you calling. Bucky is currently running up twelve flights of stairs to get to your friend’s apartment building. The elevator was taking far too long, and Bucky was far too impatient to wait.

To the twelfth floor he goes.

Bucky hears his phone buzzing again, but just for a second. It’s a voicemail and he’s certain it’s from you. His heart sputters for a moment at the thought of you missing him. As it always does.

Just two more floors to go. Sam would mock him for how long it’s taking him to get to the twelfth floor.

With wide eyes and his chest heaving, he sprints down the corridor to apartment number 12-303. He has to make it, he has to get to you before…

Ten!

Apartment 12-295 is on his right.

Nine!

Apartment 12-299…

Eight!

Apartment 12-301…

Much to his relief, the door to apartment 12-303 is unlocked. He had texted your friends hours ago, asking them to please leave the door unlocked. At least that had gone according to plan.

Your friends peek over to see him at the doorway and each give him a smug smile. Your back is facing away from him as you’re watching the countdown on the television screen. You turn your head a fraction, looking over your shoulder to call out for everyone to come watch the countdown, and then you see him.

You gasp loudly, hands over your mouth in complete surprise. Your heart is singing for him, begging you to to join him. You’re tethered to him, feet moving of their own accord.  Time stops for a moment, the faint sounds of the seconds counting down were nothing but static in your ears. All you can see is Bucky. Bucky who had done who knows what to make this special for you.

Bucky’s right in front of you with a small smile. He pulls you to him, not wasting a second before pressing his lips to yours just as the raucous cheers of happy new year go off around them. It’s just Bucky and you standing there with his hands cupping your cheeks and your hands light on his wrists. Glitter and confetti gently falls on his shoulders and your dark hair, giving you a crown of sparkles. Your soul is aflame, and you’re unable to keep yourself from smiling into the kiss.

He pulls away with bitten lips and rests his forehead against yours. He pulls a speck of confetti from your nose and kisses you once more.

“Happy new year’s, honey,” Bucky murmurs.

“Happy new year’s, baby,” You say, kissing his chin, “Thank you for doin’ this for me.”

“I told ya,” Bucky grins, lopsided and your favorite, “Told ya I’d see ya when I see ya.”

***

tags: @coal000 @hootyhoobuckaroo @buckyforbreakfast @lesqui @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes @sergeantbarnescaptainrogers @whothehellisbucky