#Who's car is that Dex?

[dogicrimsonofficial]

I got the most amazing (typoed) message from @hares-and-hounds while in game.

And you know me. I can and will doodle.

[ma1dita]

as above, so below

 a 'partners in crime' installment - luke castellan x dionysus!reader words: 10.4k. wow. prev -> asking for trouble summary: (post-TLT) The one where you plead your case with the gods of Olympus. (The one thing the fates didn't expect was how much you'd both be like your fathers; in a way, you and Luke didn't see it coming either) a/n: depictions of overdose/suicidal ideation, grief and then a bittersweet ending. this is the final chapter of partners in crime, and a love letter to everyone who’s made it this far—for all the wonderful comments and rbs! i hope this ending and this story serves as a reminder to all to support writers and their work!!! also a love letter to myself?? and the immense growth i’ve experienced creatively and in my life in the past year and some change of writing this story, it was truly a transformative time. thank you.  to end, i hope you all get the love that you deserve.

— 

—KATABASIS—

Is love in this world a gift or a curse?

Watching your campers file into the Hall of Gods felt like being stuck in a perpetual state of unease. Or maybe how you imagine it would feel to drive in the wrong direction on the Long Island Expressway during rush hour. It felt like staring into an oncoming car crash with your shoulders stiff, bracing for impact as you waited for something to just hit and hurt. 

What else is there to do after a war is won but revel in how it hurts? 

The campers look at you as they pass you on the stairs—a ghost of yourself after the deed was done, and it was almost as if Luke took whatever little life there was in you with him to the underworld. Like moths hovering toward light, the crowd starts to grow, waiting for someone to have the answers on what to do next as the Olympian Council prepares to convene.  

Instead, you mentally do a headcount each time another one of the kids makes an appearance through the marble foyer; you wonder about a lot of things now that you find yourself with the time to think. You haven’t spoken in the hours since Luke died and your heart falls further with every covered stretcher the satyrs carry in.

“Hey.”

Flinching, you soften slightly when you realize it’s Annabeth grabbing you by the crook of your arm, “Let’s go wash up.” It’s not a suggestion. She leads you to a secluded part of the hall and there’s a basin filled with warm water and soap waiting for the both of you. There’s no use in tidying up the mess, you think—we just won a war! But the daughter of Athena tuts and sits you down how you imagine your mother used to when you’d come in from the backyard covered in mud. The pearlescent pool in front of you is instantly sullied as your fingers descend into the bowl—scarlet running down from your elbows, stuck to your skin, and coming off in plumes that drop into the water like miniature explosions. You hadn’t realized there was so much blood—so much of him still left on you.

“Where’s…” You say hoarsely, jerking your hands upward so that the dirty water splashes onto your knees, and Annie clasps your forearms firmly until you stop twitching—sitting still like this suddenly feels like burning coals under your feet.

“Your phone’s in your pocket. We can get it after.” “It’s dead. Uh…I need to charge it, before the Mist lifts.” The thought of calling your boyfriend comes and goes quickly like a balloon in the wind—your mind is filling up the spaces of grief with other things to worry about like Dex, who’ll be driving home soon with breakfast and waiting patiently for your return to the apartment you share. Thinking about what you’ll say to him is better than having to sit with the truth. 

The younger girl is now watching you with half-lidded eyes, scrubbing at your arms delicately with a sponge and trying to not think about how all of the crust and blood that covers you used to be her brother’s. This was blood that pumped through his arteries and through his lungs that produced oxygen, straight back into his stubborn heart that beats no more. Annabeth glances through her lashes at the stoic look on your face—she’s not sure yours is working either, and well, there is nothing more that Annabeth Chase hates than not knowing what to do next.

“Help me help you. Where do we go from here?” she mumbles, but it barely reaches your ears. Any thought you might’ve had is washed away with what was left of him; blankly, you’re staring at your red-hued reflection within the porcelain bowl.

“I don’t know.”

There is nothing left but time now that the war is over—and it buries you, so far into the earth that maybe if you try to sink far enough you’d see where they’ll put his body to rest. A sickening realization hits you like a freight train: your relationship—all of it—exists only in dreams now, memories, the spaces between thoughts, the seconds before someone remembers the reality of how the world almost ended because of a love that you’ll now have to live without.

How, after everything, is this the end?

You knew this was coming, you try to remind yourself. Losing him was years in the making—you’ve been mourning Luke Castellan for almost as long as he let you love him. No one knows when the end is until it’s happened. Or for you—for as long as it takes for you to admit it. It was the end when he left you to wake up alone on his last day of camp. 

Maybe even earlier than that—but now you’ll never know. 

Looking back, all the time spent with and without him was just you trying to keep going as if he hadn’t already signed a death sentence. The lines have always been a bit blurred for you when Luke was part of the conversation. Endlessly toeing the line between your love for your home and your love for him, you couldn’t help but indulge in the hitch in your breath that filled with Luke’s name whenever he would pop into your life. Even when the rest of the world found reasons to hate him, you could not bear to. 

Would it have made a difference if you fought back against him? Not Kronos, him—the boy that didn’t include you in the decisions he made for you, now sauntering towards Elysium leaving you to deal with the rest. Does doing nothing make you worse than his father? Would the results of the war changed if you turned him in? If you found a way to resist the hold he’s always had on you, would Luke still be alive?

Everything after feels like it’s going in a blur—endless questions swirling through your head that make your knees buckle from the vertigo. The gods can’t just expect you to go back to your nine-to-five and pretend that walking away from the wreck will mean it never happened.

“Right?” you exhale, answering your inner thoughts. Annabeth is drying your arms with a pinkened terry cloth and hums in response, before meeting your gaze over the horizon that peeks out to say hello.

The sky seems endless when you’re standing on Mount Olympus watching the gods rebuild the damage that was left behind. Everything moves in reverse—buildings rising from rubble with every floating brick, pathways smoothing with the gentle touch of time, and plants rebirthed from ash. The city will always wake up to move towards tomorrow, but for you, there’ll be no proof that your world ended while everyone else gets to keep theirs. 

Time is being undone before your own eyes, and you suppose you have the rest of your life to fix it—whatever that means now.

“Was any of it real?”

The Olympians will be summoning you any minute now. Percy shuffles over from his spot against the wall where he is watching you both, stoic as a statue—everyone’s made their way inside and the three of you are the last to enter. 

“Doesn’t really feel real,” the son of Poseidon mutters, mindlessly playing with a tendril of Annie’s hair—she lets him with no complaints. The weight of the world hasn’t been lifted from their shoulders like they were once promised. No one wants to celebrate when you’ve lost your friends—your family in the process.

Apollo stretches his arms and pulls a blanket of dawn overhead as if a final countdown before you have to walk in as glimmers of gold spread across the sky.

“I wonder if Luke always knew this is how it was gonna end,” Percy says simply, your eyes meeting his and the boy almost sounds apologetic. Annabeth scoffs, “The jerk always was the type to pull strings.” A crescendo of trumpets and fanfare begins to shake the halls—your cue to enter. Walking slowly behind the pair, you wrestle with the tug deep within you that silently agrees with her.

Grover joins them and all together, the trio make their way to the stage. You find a spot next to your brother who notably has his arm in a misshapen cast decked out in smiley faces—Will’s doing. Your lip quivers at the sight of him.

“The hell happened to you?” you murmur. Pollux kisses your temple and slings his good arm around your shoulders, voice hushed to not distract from Zeus thanking the half-bloods for their efforts of saving humankind, which is a rare occurrence as it is. You couldn’t be bothered by the grandiose display, focusing instead on the big baby next to you.

“Just a scratch,” he says cooly, and you pinch his side in annoyance—”He-OW!” Pollux shrieks, swallowing the sound when the satyrs shush him.

“What happened to you coming straight to me?”

“I’m the least of your worries,” the blond boy mutters, purple eyes meeting your own. Even if so, you disagree.

“Not true! You know that.”

Pollux takes a good look at you from the peripherals of his vision as you huff and try to pay attention to whatever’s going on up front. He wishes you could see yourself how he sees you—completely worthy of love in every capacity, even if life makes you work for it tirelessly like Sisyphus pushing a rock atop a hill. You’ve always been so close to getting what you want…but never quite reached it. He doesn’t know how you do it, but both of you being your father’s children makes him understand why you do. 

Understanding doesn’t make you hurt any less though.

“You know, no one would blame you.”

The longer you stand here feels like someone’s shoved cotton through every open crevice of your body. It scratches at your throat and dampens your ears as you turn your head to face him, eyes dragging up his face in question.

“In fact, no one would bat an eye if you left and never looked back.”

Scoffing, you turn to look at the floor and his hand feels heavier on your shoulder now like you’re carrying the weight of him too, “It sounds like you just wanna get rid of me.” Feeling like you’re constantly at a loss can radicalize anyone—you’ve never felt so close but so far from Luke than at this moment. People turn away from everything they’ve ever known for less. 

And still, you’re here. 

Still.

Pollux shrugs, wincing when his bad shoulder jerks, “Maybe. Do you still want this? Any of this?” 

He thinks of you spending the rest of your days sitting in that tiny apartment burning cookies in that cramped excuse for a kitchen, and how when he visits, he’ll have to say hello to that boring man who’ll greet him with a megawatt smile, so unknowing of the world you come from. Ignorance is bliss, as they say. Your brother thinks you might be happy, if you just let yourself be.

There’s a silence that stretches between you as Grover tumbles to the ground in search of food up on stage, conveniently being caught and attended to by the prettiest naiads you’ve ever seen. You snort at the sight, but your brother’s dedicated to knowing what’s on your mind, continuing to whisper like an angel (or a devil) on your shoulder. 

The rest of this ceremonial shit doesn’t matter to him.

“Dex is not Luke.”

“He doesn’t have to be,” you say through an exhaled breath—he can tell you’re troubled by the idea of choosing to leave everything behind and start over, without them and without Luke, so he says just that—trying to feel out your brain and where it’s at. 

Your heart, however, is evading the matter.

“Now that it’s all over, you can start over again. Without us weighing you down.” 

Pollux watches you furrow your eyebrows, scrunching up your face in the way you do when you want to say no. But your expression is impassive in the next moment like a trick of the light, “I’d have to think about it. It just happened, after all.” 

Once again, Luke Castellan seems to have left you without a choice. What an asshole. 

But what do you want, anyway?

“There’s no time like now. You could if you wanted to.”

Why has every difficult decision you’ve had to make meant giving up something good? 

Shifting your weight onto your other hip, you grit, “Shit. I mean, what good is it to not have what I want?”

“Shit,” Pollux smirks with a knowing glance, “You tell me.” You grab his hand and squeeze it tightly, intertwining your fingers. No god can take away what you share with your brother. You both live this reality, after all—one where you have to go on because your other half cannot. The purpose of Pollux’s message might’ve gotten lost in translation, but the intention hit home. 

��Guess I’ve never thought of it that way.” 

Chuckling under your breath, you take a good look at everyone in this room—the roles they take, and the purpose they serve. There’s not much of a place for you here, not anymore, and Pollux thinks you know that too. You’ve done the best you could offer to the gods despite yourself and the children you’ve cared for. But he wants you to understand that you don’t need to worry about them anymore. All your dad and him do is worry about you anyway. 

“What if I never looked back?”

He bites the inside of his cheek, thinking of the right thing to say but the truth is much simpler, “I love you. That’s a good enough reason to, right?” You’re not sure if he means him or you—but still Pollux’s figure blurs in a vignette of moisture that overcomes your vision. 

Amid your hushed conversation, the room around you has gone silent and everyone’s eyes are suddenly focused on you, making you realize you’re the last demigod to be awarded. A crowd of cheers and war-hardened hands push you onto the central platform, out of the furnace, and into the fire. The spotlight overhead shines so brightly it makes you squint, amplifying the pulsing in your temples; it makes you sick. 

This was finally it—the honor, no, the glory of being recognized by the gods for doing your part and being a great example for all demigods. For fulfilling your duty to Camp Half-Blood. For choosing to protect your home, and keeping your promises. The Olympians look down at you with carefully crafted smiles and what you hope isn’t pity.

“Your gift is a permanent job with Camp Half-Blood. Full benefits, PTO, 401k, whatever you want, I can make it happen,” Zeus says with a grin as if he’s told you that continuing on the way you have would make your greatest dreams come true—like you’d wish for nothing more. 

Swallowing as he continues to prattle on, your figure retreats in itself, hunching over as if you’re hiding something from all of them. You are—the idea that Pollux put in your head festers like an open wound the more it ruminates.

“You’d have a spot here on Olympus too if you wish—our official liaison for demigod communications, actually—goddess of demigods! If Jackson doesn’t want it, it’s yours…” he grins dryly, a beat passing as if…

And like the speed of light, your head jerks up to meet Zeus’ eye to eye, a damning thing as you register that the king of the gods does not remember your name. Almost ten whole years of running around in the same circles and keeping his world upright, and he doesn’t know who you are—just your job, and the consequences you bring.

Something cracks within your resolve then and the pressure shatters like glass into tiny, shiny fractals until what you really want reveals itself to everyone in the room—the Council, the nymphs and naiads, and all of your friends who are staring at you with bated breath, sparkling under the lights. Your chest tightens like a Titan’s fist is wrapped around it; this is what Luke wanted, not nearly anything you’d ever imagined for yourself. He wanted this so-called glory, and the longer you listen to Zeus fumble over his words, only one thing becomes apparent—you just want Luke.  What you want is to be with the love of your life again, no matter what it takes. What you really want is a gift not even the gods can provide…

Unless…

Hera clears her throat, shaking her head in disappointment and simultaneously catching the fire ignited within your eyes—Hestia sees it too, standing up from the flames of her hearth in front of the platform. The former corrects her husband with a stern brow, “...that’s her name. You should ask the woman what she wants, dear.” Zeus repeats it, throwing your name around by the syllable like it’s foreign. Percy Jackson already denied godhood in exchange for a simple promise to be kept for the unclaimed. Anything left for you to choose can’t be that bad, right?

What’s the worst thing a daughter of Dionysus can ask the Olympians for, anyway?

The king of the gods taps his finger on the armrest of his baroque throne, repeating your name this time with a stroke of seriousness.

“Well then, out with it. What do you want as your gift?”

You look down at your feet, feeling Annabeth sneak up behind you to intertwine her fingers with yours—always six steps ahead. Her support is what you need to spit the words out without it feeling like a slur, to have the audacity to want something, someone so bad that the gravity of it weighs you down and makes your knees buckle—but not a single person in that room that really knows you is surprised by what you want. 

You want him, still. 

It is so human of you to still want Luke Castellan, to want your love in physical form even after he’s gone. Maybe they should’ve waited to ask you this question or maybe they shouldn’t have asked you at all—but the time it would take to get over the man who’d thrown his destiny away to save you is immeasurable. 

Growing up, so much of the time you shared with him was spent picturing what the rest of your lives together would look like, and that idea sticks to the forefront of your mind even now—a hole that pierces through the foundation of the walls you built up to try and forget him. Maybe life with Luke and what you’d had before was the real dream instead of something you’d have the opportunity to experience—it feels so far away from the life you live with Dex, who you’ll go home to once you scrape yourself off these marble floors. Somehow, time has passed and everyone in this room—including Luke, wherever the hell is now, has gotten exactly what they wanted except for you. 

What about what you want?

“What I want…” you mutter under your breath, before raising your eyes to meet Zeus’. There is not a single ounce of doubt or fear he can detect as he stares back into your pools of amethyst, hardened by equal parts stubbornness and determination.

“To be completely honest with you, Divine Zeus—all I want is the opportunity to die.”

—

Chaos breaks like the eye of a storm as your statement echoes in the open air of the Hall of Gods. Somewhere, Percy starts to laugh at your flair for the dramatics and Chris joins him until Clarisse jabs him in the gut despite the twisted look that overcomes her face. You hear your father yell his disagreement from his throne, grapes rolling off the gilded vines that adorn it and they bounce towards your feet. The hilarity of all of it makes you smile.

It shouldn’t, of course—your dad looks like he’s about to wreak havoc on Earth itself, but he chooses his words carefully, so quietly under his breath that you almost don’t hear.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Dionysus walks toward you with outstretched hands, beckoning you to him. The strain he puts in keeping his composure reopens the cut on his forehead. Golden droplets drip down past his eye like a stroke of lightning, and your eyes glaze over, lost in a memory. All of your surroundings seem to move slowly then, everyone losing their shit and he just takes a moment to appraise his little girl who in the blink of an eye, is not so little anymore. 

“Dionysus, your daughter better have a good explanation for this!” his father yells, but Mr. D pays him no mind. Hermes is the first and fastest to put your plan together, looking at you with a reverence no would expect a god to have for a mortal. Grover’s picking up the grapes to munch on while Percy pulls at his arm to back away from the center platform. Aphrodite’s swooning over the thought of your devotion, and Athena looks at you holding her daughter’s hand—the both of you strengthened by ambition instead of deterred, making her scoff in amusement. Hera is laughing at the frustration on her husband’s face as he sputters, attempting to regain control of the room. 

The sheer audacity you present yourself with is laughable even to you until you realize that this is the most yourself you've felt in a long time—here in front of the Olympian Council, with the bold request of choosing death over immortality. You were brave once—gutsy even, when you were fourteen. And this feels like that—like coming home. 

A hand clasps your other shoulder. 

Pollux. 

For a moment, you look around the room wildly until you remember Luke’s not here to see this. You hope he’d be proud.

“SILENCE!”

Your father’s voice booms overhead, calming the chaos with a snap of his fingers as everyone has the words choked out of them like a water spout gone dry. Zeus rises to the challenge then, regarding you with an odd curiosity, “You know we can’t bring that boy back. The atrocities he’s committed, the choices he made—” 

“I’m not denying any of that. I guess all I’m asking for is a chance. I’ll take any consequences that come with it.”

No matter how bloodied the path was to get there Luke has always made sure that he gets what he wants, in one way or another—at the cost of sparing no one, not even himself.

“Child, do you think this makes you a hero? Do you think you can go down in history as someone who chooses to die instead of live? Don’t you want to be something more?” His voice booms so loudly that you wince.

“I never needed to be a hero, Divine. I am loved. That is better than any glory I care to receive—I mean look around you,” you exclaim, gesturing around the room, “Your kids don’t want glory. They want love.” Breathing shakily, you look pointedly at all of the gods, emboldened by the momentum of getting it all out once and for all.

“I’m 23 years old. I’ve spent almost ten years of knowing Luke by loving him, even if five of those years were also spent missing him,” you say and your voice shakes with emotion, “To you that’s nothing, but I want that time back, even if I have to go and get it myself… That’s what I want.”

Hades speaks to you for the first time that morning, a simple question falling from his lips.

“Why would you go through all of that trouble?”

You can’t help it— you laugh in the face of the most powerful beings in the universe. For a moment it was like hearing your name in the distance but in reality... it was always the answer; your father knows from the crooked smile that grows on your face that your decision was made up from the second they walked in to watch Luke Castellan take his last breath. Then and there, you decided you would give up yours—and he hates that he understands it so deeply. He was the one who told you so long ago that love is insanity. He himself has done unimaginable things for love. So he’d be a fool to hold you back from someone you truly want.

“The only thing I am sure about myself is that I have nothing left in me but love. And that love gives me what it will take to die.”

“You followed him to Hesperides, all those years ago,” Hermes interrupts with a wistful look on his face, “Do you know what this means—you think you can cheat death?” He is, after all, the guide of all souls. It isn’t rare for someone to try to venture into the Underworld, but it is rare to come back in one piece.

“No. But I can’t not try.”

Zeus bristles once more—insulted by this tirade of human emotion.

“Dionysus, say something! You cannot allow this!”

Ares butts in, “Your ambition’s gonna be the death of you kid. I vote yes!” Zeus slams his fists against the armrests, cracking them in the process, but then Hades raises a hand, “Hold on, my domain, my rules.”

“Brother, you cannot be serious! You’re just gonna let this girl walk in there with no—”

 “We promised to grant the demigods their wishes, and if this is what she wants—well it’s her funeral,” he chuckles at the irony, “Luke Castellan is waiting for his trial at the judgment pavilion as we speak. If you make it before he crosses the threshold for rebirth—he’s yours.”

You swallow, “And the catch?”

The god of the dead quirks his lip into something that resembles a smile. He’s always liked how sharp you were, never letting anything get by you, “You must both drink from the River Lethe and the pool of Mnemosyne. No outside help, only your spirit will go down for the journey. Do that and you earn a consultation at the palace—and I’ll grant you both a single wish. Anything you want.”

“What if they don’t make it back?” Annabeth says sternly, though you know she’s looking at this from every angle—it’s better than the instinctive yes that almost escapes your mouth.

“If you fail to convince him to drink, or if you don’t fulfill our deal, you will find Asphodel to be a lovely resting place. Forever.”

Taking a deep breath, you nod. You know the odds of what you’re signing up for—but your dad’s still looking at you like you’re the last drop of whiskey. He wants to savor this for as long as he can before he has to let you go.

“I can’t… you’re my daughter. I-I can’t allow this…Hestia, is this my debt? My retribution for taking your seat?”

The aforementioned goddess chuckles softly, like sparks of cinders as she drifts over to him, unafraid of breaking any remaining protocol—all of it is thrown to the wind as she pats her nephew’s back, “Dionysus, you are still young compared to the rest of us, and yet you’ve raised her to be the woman she is today. My darling, she is your reward.”

“And you want this, princess?”

“He’s my Ariadne, dad,” you say through a shaky breath, “Let this be my quest,” you beg—you’d get on your knees if he wanted to, shovel all the pegasi shit for the next 100 years if only you had the time, “please.”

Your father nods solemnly. Fate has a way of fooling even the greatest of the gods.

“I do enjoy a good love story. I think you deserve to write your own ending, my sweet,” the goddess of love smiles lazily as she rests upon her palm. The rest of the council murmurs in approval despite Zeus’ insistence that this is not a group decision.

But this story has been told thousands of times before, spanning different millennia, different lifetimes, and different lovers. Everyone in this room has seen how it ends. You were, however, never someone who could resist a good story.

To be or not to be, right? —that is the question.

Guess you were about to find out.

—

There are a lot of ways that a person can die—but when someone makes the choice, it usually means you have the time to think about it. 

Completely serious matter, yes—irreversible? 

Questionable. Of course, you don’t have either the time or liberty to mull these things over. Luke could be a toe into the gates of Elysium by now, and the thought of missing him makes your stomach into a pit you could compare to Tartarus. 

It’s weird to say goodbye and not want to mean it. Even weirder that all of your friends couldn’t say anything other than good luck as you were ushered through Olympus and put into a room to die. Words don’t come easy when you’re unsure of the outcome and death looks different when you’re the daughter of the divine form of insanity. The flame within your soul is lit by what defines him and so it is agreed upon that it should also be the reason for your end. 

This is just a journey—Dionysus tells himself. Death is just a journey of millions of souls returning to dust, star stuff finding their way home. A journey he’s taken before, not once, but twice, and would again if you asked him. How bittersweet is it that you are exactly made in his image, and how blind was he to not realize that when you first came to camp almost a decade ago? If only he could’ve cherished that more in the early years—the stupid pranks, the incessant laughter, and the sound of your voice at nightly sing-a-longs. Your dad knows that he’d face death a million times if it meant that you didn’t have to.

You used to hate it—the similarities that stuck you two like a reflection in a mirror. The feeling of feeding off of other people’s turmoil, or how drink flows through your fingertips as soon as the thought of thirst is formed. It wasn’t comparable to wisdom or war—conjuring mayhem wasn’t cool like Percy breathing underwater, or how Lee used to pull sunlight through the clouds. 

It didn’t come easy, being your father’s daughter.

But as you lay your head onto his lap, you realize that there is no one else you’d want to be. He’s since changed back into his trademark patterned shirt—visions of palm trees and hibiscus dancing in your vision as you get comfortable in his arms, breathing steadily as he strokes your head. 

“I wish we had the time to make it home,” you whisper, “It would’ve been nice to be on the docks, listening to the water.” There’s a tentative quality to your statement, feeling out the silence that’s been enveloping the both of you since you walked out of the main hall. You’re not used to seeing your dad so serious; it’s almost jarring that he’s not being a menace or calling you batshit for your latest—and last crazy idea.

He bites though, murmuring, “That your favorite spot at Camp? Would’ve thought you’d be buried under the covers at the cabin.” Dionysus swallows hoarsely, voice faltering as he comes to think of you being buried under anything. 

“Nuh-uh,” you say through a bitten lip, “I’ve always liked Canoe Lake. Lots of good memories there.”

“What’s your favorite one? Billie Holiday at the cost of Luke’s pocket change?” your dad gruffs, “Or what about falling into the lake after that time you fought over the flag?”

Dionysus hates this—feeling powerless at the hands of mortals. Gods aren’t meant to feel this way, but out of all of them, he understands best because he knows this story. 

He was this story: a demigod boy scorned by his father who wanted nothing but to rescue his mother from hell and who willingly gave up his life for the woman he loved. If there’s one thing he still admires Luke Castellan for—it’s letting him keep you safe while he went off to wreak havoc on the world. Sure, it’s selfish, but the kid has a good heart if all it was made up of was you. The courage of stars and souls is that even time cannot stop them from finding where they are meant to be. To love someone so much that it transcends timelines and angers the gods—your father finds himself ruminating over the fact that Luke’s someone was you. 

Of course, it’s you. 

He looks down at your position as if you’ll crumble into a pillar of salt in the mere seconds it takes to blink. There’s so much hope in your eyes that it batters into his resolve as if you’ve swung into his ribcage with a sledgehammer— it tears down any doubt he might have that you will not come back safely. At least Castor would have company, he thinks morosely—Pollux is somewhere running around the compound trying to find an iPhone charger. Dionysus just wants to sit with his baby and be.

The goblet is heavy in your hands as you look at the golden liquid within. Nectar heals the body and soul, but in excessive quantities—it burns. So much so that demigods that overdose feel their sanity melt away from their brains and separate their souls from the body until there is nothing left but the memory of who they once were.

What a way to go, right?

“Is it gonna hurt?” you say suddenly, cracking your knuckles and tugging at your sweater and he knows what you mean to say is that you’re scared. This is the first time you’ll do something for yourself, by yourself, without your support system. 

“Not if I can help it,” your dad sniffs, “Hermes is gonna meet you once you cross over since it’s not my job to be down there anymore. I’m gonna be with you for as long as I can… Where the fuck is your brother?”

Laughter spills from your lips as you start to drink anyway like it’s a glass of wine after dinner—thick syrupy sweetness slides down your throat. It tastes like crisp apples and the carbonated tang of Redbull, making your eyes water from the punch that hits every one of your pores, “Don’t want him to see. I don’t…” In through your nose, out through your mouth. 

“He saw Castor when he…I don’t want him to see.”

Clutching at your father’s shirt sleeve, his hand gently tilts the goblet further toward your mouth as you take the nectar in painstaking gulps. You’re shaking now, skin hot to the touch under his fingertips as you start to gasp heavily. He models how to breathe slowly, waving away the brushfire that spreads through your veins as best as he can, “It’s gonna be okay, princess. Just breathe.” If your senses weren’t overflooded with flashing red lights, maybe you would notice that he was crying.

“Say it, dad.”

“I love you,” he chokes out then, holding onto you as your body seizes in his grasp. You’re shaking your head, exasperated that you can’t get the right words out when you need them most, “I know that. Say you…I need,” you dry heave, sweat dripping down your face and turning molten to the touch. He still doesn’t let go. 

“D-Dad, d… I need…” 

It comes out in a whimper, and he shushes you, hugging you close, “Anything for you, my heart.”

“Need you to…believe in me.” Nectar gurgles in your throat as you’re white-knuckled around the goblet, forcing yourself to get the rest of the drink down. This won’t work if your dad doesn’t believe it will. You need him out of anyone to believe in you—to believe that you can do this.

With your eyelashes fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings he laughs through the tears; of course, he believes in you, he always has. The sound of his laughter hits your system like the whistle of a freight train, breaking through your ribcage and releasing the pressure as you let it all go in one deep breath. 

Despite the discomfort, you find that death does not hurt—it feels like holding your father’s hand. 

You squeeze him three times for a silent I love you because you won’t let yourself die without saying it back. Dionysus, your father in this lifetime, and hopefully all the ones that come after, leans closely toward your ear to tell you what you need to hear to get to your life’s quest that can only begin after he has to let you go.

“You are my heart’s joy—the most stubborn person I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. I know you can love that boy back to life.”

Death feels like an endless summer in your mind, of pine trees in the North Woods, toasty smores over a crackling fire, and sand between your toes as you run along the shoreline. As your thoughts fade to nothingness and your body is erased from the mortal realm, you think that your favorite memory of camp is floating in the bubble bath you made of Canoe Lake on a summer day nine years ago.

—ANABASIS—

When you open your eyes, all you see is bright yellow and all you can smell is leather disinfectant. You’re in the passenger seat of a taxicab, and behind the gaudy blue dice pendant that dangles on the rearview mirror is Hermes. He pulls his lips into a tired smile, scratching at his goatee as the vehicle speeds down the side of the River Styx. The windows are rolled down and the wind is blowing back against your face.

“I thought you couldn’t meddle,” you croak, dry mouth from sleeping with it open catching up to you. You snap a finger…and nothing happens. Any trace of your father stayed up in the mortal realm with him; his best friend hands you a chilled water bottle to quench your thirst. 

“Your dad said you’d be thirsty.” 

Twisting the cap open, you gulp the cool liquid down with ease as you watch the Underworld pass you through side windows. Cerberus is almost galloping playfully along the side of the car a ways back, all three heads getting smacked by its lolling tongues as he barks in greeting.

What a cutie. 

Something’s under your butt—when you dig a hand into your pocket, you find a bright red ball. You smile at the thought of Annabeth Chase placing a squeaky toy on your shroud, just in case. You don't get to bring anything in death other than what's in your heart, and pure Greek tradition, what’s placed underneath your shroud. As you toss it out the window for Cerberus to chase it into the Fields of Mourning, he barks happily, an echo of booms that follow him into the distance. Hermes takes the chance to speak, his eyes flickering to the acceptance on your face. You’re in the Underworld now, and like the EZ-Death line of souls the car passes, you take this news in stride.

“He’s already dead. You— you’re a special case. Had to do something, even if it’s too late.”

“It’s not. It can’t be,” you insist, bravely at first, until you lose your nerve by the end of it, “I…” Drumming your fingers against your lap, Hermes can’t help but snicker, “You know, you’ve always had such an innate sense of how to take care of other people, but never yourself—it reminds me of your dad.”

“How is he?”

Hermes purses his lips. That’s as much an answer as you’ll get from his best friend, so you nod, “Luke’s the opposite, I think. He always knew how to take care of himself, just…he tried his hardest with me.”

Down in the underworld, the sky takes on a tawny hue with grey clouds overhead, and there are no signs of whether it’s day or night. You wonder if you still have enough time—if he’s there at the pavilion, waiting for you. The car jets past Asphodel, and you slink back down in your seat to avoid the view when you remember Hades’ conditions. 

If Luke’s already moved on, that’s where you’ll be.

Hermes is skipping through every song that comes onto the radio—the incessant noises make you want to grind your teeth but you remind yourself he's doing you a favor, in his own way.

“He never fooled you, that kid. You knew exactly what he was and you still loved him anyway. Me and my kids aren’t exactly easy to love, aren’t we?”

You shrug. Small talk is weird—now’s not exactly the time to be close with Luke’s father, and you’re not trying to impress him or anything anymore.

“I don’t think love is easy or hard. Sometimes it just is.”

The car rolls to a stop and you push yourself up on your palms. The judgment pavilion is in the near distance and you realize you’ll have to run the rest of the way. But you don’t move, even when the taxicab is put in park.

“This is your stop,” he says slowly, flicking the button that unlocks the car doors, “I really do mean it when I say that I wish you good luck.” Your eyes soften at that, and when you swallow, you recognize the weight of your two necklaces resting against your collarbone. He can tell you’re scared, but there’s no time to feel anything if you want to catch him. 

Take that quite literally—there’s no time here in the underworld. Hermes says your name gently, and you look at him. If Luke were here, you think he’d be braver than you—running out to fight the unknown if it meant he could take you home. But your hand is frozen on the handle and your legs feel like they’re cemented to the ground.

“After he… He was worried about you.”

“What? Really?” 

You unbuckle your seatbelt and turn to face the god, hesitation making way for shock. Hermes blinks. He technically shouldn’t say more, but there’s nothing left to lose.

”He was worried about what you’d do if he wasn’t there when you woke up. Luke asked if I was sure you’d be able to find him.”

“And what did you say?”

With a subtle move of his fingers, your car door pushes open, and you step out onto the dusty gravel. His father salutes you with two fingers, “Told him you were coming for him.”

“I am,” you chuckle, slamming the door shut and beginning to run. Worry wracks your entire essence—if it’s even possible for a spirit to feel this intensely it might not be normal, but nothing about you is, even here.

“Hey!” Hermes calls out, his upper half hanging out the car window, “If…When you find him, do you think I’d get another chance?”

You turn unsteadily on your feet, looking at him with the roguishness he knew his son fell for, throwing your hands up in the air, “If this somehow works out, I think anything’s possible don’t you?”

Clouds of dust prickle at your ankles as you race back toward everything you’ve ever wanted.

—

Stuck somewhere in the in-between, you trudge toward the entrance of the judgment pavilion—a large titanium structure that stretches towards the heavens quite ominously. The closer you get to it the more your feet feel like sinking into quicksand, your paces getting slower and your legs moving like molasses, but you aren’t lost. It seems to somehow be getting farther the more you run, but maybe your stepmother’s blessing still reaches you down here in the dim wasteland she was doomed to—until Dionysus himself, your father, came down to search every corner of the Underworld and brought her back to life. He’s in there. He has to be.

You can do it, you mumble to yourself. 

You can do this too.

Or maybe the gods are laughing at the mortal woman who was too much like her father, laughing at how stubborn you are trying to save a paradox of a man who almost brought down Olympus. Unlike your father though, there is less bloodshed in your quest to find him, less anger at the gods for having to forsake glory for love. 

But you were never a fighter anyway, not in the traditional sense. The Battle of Manhattan was one you fought in and despite the winning outcome, it felt like anything but. The biggest battle you’d won was hoping he’d still be yours until the very end. Until his very last breath, and then some—if you’re as lucky as his father tells you. 

You almost trip over the stoop, flailing underneath the archway as if someone pushed you straight in front of the lone spirit who’s working on fixing the bulletin board. Catching your breath, you wheeze, “Excuse me, sir—have you seen a boy….uh, or a man? Not sure how time works here…I’m under direct orders from Hades hi—”

“It doesn’t.”

“Hm,” you attempt to sound thoughtful, but the non-answer of the wispy shade that peels letters off the bulletin board painstakingly slowly does not help ease your stress.

“Well, whatever he looks like now, he should have a scar running down the right side of his face…Um…he should at least,” you hesitate. And it hits you just now that you gave your life up not knowing what comes next. Without a semblance of a plan you ran to the underworld fueled by pure spite. Your eyes travel to the board the figure in front of you is still working tirelessly on, letter by letter. The metal clinks as it falls into the bucket.

NOW SERVING:

LUKE CASTE–

Wait a fucking second. Maybe the gods had the right to laugh at you. You push forward, almost ramming the specter into the wall behind him, for a moment you thought you’d run straight through but then your fists are grabbing his shirt, “Where is he?” The bucket falls to the floor with a heavy clang as his eyes widen.

“WHERE IS HE?”

The translucent man shrugs under your rough grasp with no sense of urgency, “He’s on a journey. Aren’t we all?”

Gods have mercy, you’ve never wanted to beat a stranger’s face in so badly—you drop him in exasperation and he crumbles to the floor, “Tell me his sentence. Now.”

“Boy said he was taking the long way home. Skipped the trial completely. Didn’t want Elysium, but he had to go through it to find rebirth. Northeast from h—” 

You don’t need to hear anything else. You’re running away, hands and feet almost flying the faster you go around the perimeter of the building in hopes that you’ll still catch a glimpse of this stupid, stubborn man who does anything for you but never with you. 

Maybe he’s still yours, even here, even now.

There’s a river you have to cross that intersects the courtyard behind the judgment pavilion. It flows towards Elysium with clear crystalline water going upstream and as your eyes follow it, you think you see him in the distance. 

You know it’s him. You could recognize that back anywhere—having spent so many years staring at it as he continued to walk away. As your mouth falls agape, you’re at a loss for words. It can’t be that easy to defy the gods and get what you want, finally, finally—-but the longer you watch him walk towards Elysium with a skip in his step, you falter. 

What makes dragging him out of here any different than what he did to you? 

You’re rooted to the ground then, taking deep breaths as you think of what to do next. Back then, Luke was always the blind devotee, hands and knees bruised from prayer, until the truth was the only sound that echoes back. You never understood it—another wayward child forced to bend under the gods’ will. No one should make a religion out of someone, but as you watch him smile in the fields of death itself…he is your answered prayer.

Seeing that he’s okay is enough—that he hadn’t been damned to Tartarus sets you at ease, worry leaving your body on the exhale of breath that you let go. If you turn around now, well, maybe an eternity in Asphodel would be alright too. You could pick a good spot on the outskirts. Forever might be nice if it means you’d get to look at the gates of Elysium itself for all of it, branches reaching for him until the end of time. 

But Luke hasn’t seen you yet. Does he feel you reaching for him? The twisted coil of fate that yearns for him, the sting in the back of your throat in the form of his name, wanting to bridge the gap from the short distance that separates you. Between life and death, somehow the short traverse of barren land feels to stretch much further than that. 

You turn slowly and walk away, muddied boots grating against the dust with every atom of your spirit resistant as if it fights the magnetic pull it was meant for. He doesn’t even have to know. Meeting him again means you run the risk of losing him again. You’re not quite sure you have it in you; so you walk away this time. This time, you won’t have to watch.

But then you hear him call out to you.

“Hey! It’s you!”

Faster now, faster. 

Your legs move unsteady and your clenched fists propel you forward. Maybe they’ll let you skip the EZ line and get this all over with—Asphodel is the only place you can be with all of this regret. 

But fuck, he’s persistent, even in death. Before you know it—he’s caught up to you, the sound of splashing water making you jerk back towards him in alarm, “Luke! You can’t do that!” He’s grabbed onto your shoulders and the simple touch makes you gasp. Bone-chilling fear wracks through your body as your eyes drink him in, watching the moisture darken his Converse, all the way up to the knees of his cargo pants. He blinks as if his mind is a rewinding cassette and you wonder if the River Lethe has a stronger hold on him now than you ever had.

“Who?”

And out of everything he’s told you in your lifetime to hurt you—that one word is what breaks you the most.

His eyes swiftly move over your face, dark brown and soft like that of a lifetime ago; one of bruised knees, hushed lullabies, and kisses that taste like strawberries. But there’s not a single ounce of recognition in his stare and you wonder if you’re close enough to launch yourself into Tartarus. Maybe you’re already there— he’s standing here in front of you a little lighter, and a lot unknowing. 

“Am I Luke?” he whispers with a playful tone like it’s a secret you share even if there’s no one else around you for miles. He looks at you again, slowly this time—eyes pouring over you, in case your figure is an illusion or a great temptation such as sweet pomegranate seeds before spring. Luke’s eyebrows furrow like he’s trying hard to remember something; it stabs at your heart like he did his.

“Forget it.”  

‘Wait, don’t go,” he starts, sounding bashful as one of his hands tugs at the sleeve of your sweater, the other curled around the nape of his neck, “I uh…the judges made me drink before I left the pavilion. I didn’t even stand a chance. Sorry to disappoint.” He chuckles, and it's a wispy sound that tickles your insides; you find your lips turning up at the sound. Luke, or whoever he is now, finds himself in awe at the sight, muttering under his breath, “I think I’ve dreamt of you before.”

For someone whose mind was washed by the River Lethe, Luke Castellan stares into your soul as he tries to get a glimpse of why you’re so familiar. Looking at you feels like the moments of a dream before he wakes up—a sliver of memory just as Morpheus pulls the rug out from under him. He’s seen your face before and he knows this, somehow.

“I just… I don’t even know why I ran over here, probably looked stupid jumping into the riverbed.. but uh…” he chuckles, biting his lip before blowing a raspberry. His mind is working faster than his mouth, “I just…wow. You’re beautiful.”

Luke’s still holding onto the threads of your sweater even as you try to put distance between you. He holds onto you like a kid catches fireflies, gentle and secure with no space between his fingertips, in case you fly away. 

“I’m no one. Just forget this happened, will you?” Recoiling in what he hopes is not disgust, you turn your cheek, “Have a good life.” Wherever he is on his journey, Luke finds that there are things he knows and things he does not. He knows that he’s a human who died pretty young, someone with a jagged scar that runs down his face, and that his socks are uncomfortably wet inside of his Converse right now. What he doesn’t know is why his plans have suddenly changed, and why every wisp of his incorporeal being does not want to leave you alone. There is something he still has to do.

“Hold on, pretty girl!” Luke says incredulously, “You want me to just…look away now that I’ve seen you? I’m sorry, but no can do.” He holds onto your arm how two people share a lifeline —-it almost makes you want to sock him in the face if you weren’t on the brink of tears.

“And why the fuck not? I’ve got things to do.”

The foul language doesn’t deter him one bit; in fact, it makes him like you even more, “Things to do? Here? Maybe there is no rest for the dead.” You’ve ripped yourself out of his grasp and he dramatically puts a hand over his heart like you’ve wounded him, but by now, you’re stomping away, “You’re funny.”

And he follows you. 

“Am I?”

“No,” you scoff, stopping in your tracks and not turning around. For a reason unbeknownst to him, Luke wants you to, badly. Kicking at a rock, you sniff, “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

You’re walking along the river in the same direction you came from and he’s stuck to you like a shadow. You move right, and so does he. You stop walking, and so does he.

“Where are you headed?”

Spinning frustratedly with your whole body, you look up at him like he’s stupid. Maybe he is—was. He has a feeling you’ll tell him anyway.

“You’re being stupid. Go away.”

There we are—he’s grinning at you now, a spark of satisfaction running through him like a match to gasoline, “Can I at least know your name?”

“Not important. Do you think if I pick a spot in Asphodel and stand long enough, I’ll grow roots?”

Luke frowns at the sentiment, “After everything you’ve lived for, you want Asphodel?” He sounds so disappointed in you that you do punch him this time. Your fist is clenched, landing against his abdomen with an oomph that pushes out of his chest. 

“What I want is none of your business.”

“Well I got what I wanted,” he shrugs, like nothing of the sort, tricking you to look into his eyes for the first time in his new existence. His smile softens, almost as if his breath was taken away by the sight of them. Luminous, even in a place with no life or real light. Like a twinkling dusk that he wants to sink into. 

They dart away too soon for his liking, pulling back to him only when he speaks again, “This is gonna sound crazy but…”

“I know crazy, trust me. You’d never believe what I have to tell you,” you mutter with a ghost of a smile—the high he gets from chasing it would be unhealthy if he already weren’t dead.

“Try me.”

“Fine. I knew you. Before. It’s all I’m allowed to say. And I need you to trust me, or I’ll be stuck here forever,” you say under your breath, “But that’s okay.”

“Okay,” Luke says passively, a nod of his head—does he not know what to make of what you just told him? Or does he think the idea of forever in a place like this is alright for a person he barely knows okay?

The element of surprise isn’t lost on him even here, “So what do we have to do?”

You pinch the bridge of your nose then, breathing slowly through your mouth, “Did you not just hear what I said?”

“I did, and I think even in our past life, you must have severely underestimated me,” Luke chortles, grabbing your hand instinctively until he realizes what he’s doing. Even if he’s a little lost, he watches closely as his fingers clasp around yours almost in greeting, like it’s muscle memory, not a handshake but something sacred and secure— it’s a relief to hold your hand and he doesn’t know why, but he also doesn’t let go.

Your mouth falls agape with a shuddering breath, “You always kept me on my toes, that’s for sure.” There’s a pinched quality to your voice and Luke decides to tell you the reason he ran across the River Lethe in the first place.

“I do,” he swallows, “trust you, I mean. I don’t know why, but I just do. I just really wanted to see the color of your eyes…” Luke trails off. Can you feel it? he wonders—a stretching, growing feeling that unearths itself from the pits of your existence, calling for you to stay together like this as if there is no other way to be.

“And what do you think now?” your voice wavers as your fingers subconsciously tighten around his, a rough, scarred palm feeling much more real in his grasp.

“Waking up to them must have been Elysium in itself.”

Falling to your knees, you busy yourself with cupping the water from the river instead of entertaining the overwhelming urge you have to kiss him. Out of the corner of your eyes, he watches you like how he used to hover at camp—wanting to help but also letting you do your thing, an outstretched hand in case you need it.

“I drink…and I’ll forget you,” you say to him, realizing your instructions also have to be your final act of letting go, “and then you take me to the pool of the Mnemosyne under the poplar tree, and we drink from it together.”

“And then?” he murmurs, sitting next to you to cup your hands to your lips. Your mouth begins to water as if the tastebuds on your tongue yearn to forget all of life’s transgressions too. And you watch him the whole while, letting him, trusting him. 

“It’ll be me and you, and whatever comes next.”

Do you trust him? After everything?

“That sounds nice,” he hums, watching the faraway look in your eyes and wanting to join you where your mind is at, in knowing. 

You love him—that in itself is trust. 

Love is the strongest faith you’ve ever cared to know, and both of you are holding it to your lips with matching smiles on your faces. You don’t know what comes next, but this feeling frees you from the worry that’s been weighing you down with every step you took to find him again.

So, is love in this world a gift, or a curse?

Love can be found everywhere and made into everything if one tries hard enough.

Love is biting into the fruit,

Love is turning around,

Love is giving him the knife,

Love is a kiss on the cheek,

Love is reaching for the sun,

Love is making an impossible journey—neither of you is running from this, catching your breath until the air between your lips intermingles with familiarity, harmonious and in tandem. Two spirits share the secret of a life lived and the love that was shared as one wants to forget and the other wants to remember. There are no words that can explain the way your shrill laughter makes the recognition slightly glaze over his eyes like sweet honey, and he looks toward the poplar tree in the distance, itching to take you there afterward. 

In case this is the last time in all of eternity that you’ll set your eyes upon Luke Castellan, you set your forehead against his ever so gently, a kiss of skin against skin as the water ripples from your shallow breaths. 

“I’ll meet you at the poplar tree.”

He nods, and the liquid reaches your parched lips, all of your thoughts dissipating into the air around you. There are no names in this place, no status or glory and memories fade, like sprinkles of rain against your skin, sending shockwaves to your system as you’re fighting to hold on to every wave of nostalgia before it’s taken away. Luke’s smile is like sunlight as he watches the river wash over you completely, and then you settle into his arms as if falling asleep. Neither of you knows the answer to the question that’s tested by time, but here, time does not exist. 

For once, it finally might even be on your side. 

“I think I’ve been waiting for you,” Luke murmurs, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear as he waits for you to wake, for the hummingbird flutter of your eyelashes to reveal your eyes in all of their ethereal glory. This prophecy was laid out and this love was self-fulfilling damnation and he smiles as your breath shifts, hands reaching out to pat him softly as if checking if he was still there even unconsciously, even without knowing him. 

Time stands still here with you in his arms, and Luke is at peace with not knowing all the answers to the universe’s questions if it means he has you to face whatever’s next. Perhaps the answer is clear for others, but until then—whenever that may be, you have all the time to figure it out.

Together.

—

“What though the radiance which was once so bright

Be now forever taken from my sight,

Though nothing can bring back the hour

Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower,

We will grieve not, rather find

Strength in what remains behind.” - William Wordsworth

[fabricated-misslieness]

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: tyler owens x gn reader

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 2.39k | part 2

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: not communicating and not talking about your feelings (not miscommunication since you don't even communicate)

☾⋆☆⋆☽

There's too many beds.

The one night where you guys don't manage to make it to a motel, there's too many damn beds.

The camper van can fit pretty much all of you at once, not that the seven of you will do that anyway. Dani and Dexter have claim on it, as the drivers, and will probably accept two more comfortably.

In Lilly's van there's the backseat and the floor, but if we're counting, for how many beds there are by technicality, the two front seats as well.

You always have tents and sleeping bags around too, just in case you guys can't drive everyone from any recently unfortunate communities to the nearest hotel (although you'd certainly try). To give a rough estimate, about a dozen tents?

Then there's Tyler's truck, the two front seats and the back seat, and the truck bed. It's a bit short, but it can fit plenty people curled up.

So what to choose?

You should probably stay in a car. Much more heat that way, but who's gonna take you in? The designated drivers obviously prefer their own cars, so... Dexter's campervan is pretty spacious? Then again, so's Lilly's, and to be honest she's more of a vibe than the other two, but also why would you need vibes if you're just sleeping?

Maybe you should start a fire, huddle around that? No, that's a hazard, nevermind the fact you only know how to start a fire in theory.

Let's stick to a car, then. Lilly or Dex & Dan for space... Lilly, sure, why not?

As you start heading over to Lilly's van, you hear a sharp whistle. You don't have time to wonder who it's from, as Tyler spins you around.

"You're coming with me." He proclaims, taking you by the shoulders, and you can only laugh.

"Why me?"

Tyler grins, walking you unceremoniously towards his truck bed. "Because you're you, dove." That alone sounds rather intimate, so he fixes his mistake quickly. You're just friends, after all. "And Boone kicks people in his sleep, Lilly's hair gets everywhere, Dani steals the blankets, Dexter snores, and Ben...it's pitiful how he squeezes himself into the corner whenever he's sleeping next to someone, so we always give him his own space."

Right, all good points you'd forgotten.

"So why exactly am I better?" You tease, stopping in your tracks so Tyler bumps into your back and stay close.

"You're warm." And at first it seems like that's the only thing he'll say, your only benefit, as he pauses; but then the rest comes spilling out like a toad strangler. "You're also soft, you don't steal the blanket, you don't complain when I suddenly start talking and you don't snore."

Tyler doesn't mention that the two of you cuddle when you bunk together, and that you bunk together often. He doesn't mention how tonight he'll let you cuddle up on his chest, or perhaps how he'll press his nose against yours and let you play with his hair, because simply mentioning it will mean you'll have to talk about it.

You don't want to talk about, you think; and neither does he. You don't want to talk about how there's something different with the way he slings his arm around your shoulder, or the way you knock your head against his, or how he always gives out your share of whatever (pizza, cookies, etc.) before anyone else, or how you always offer your help to him no matter what.

They're always easy things to ignore, his skinship is not conditional and neither is your kindness, but there's something about the way you look into his eyes when you say thank you, and something about the way his touch lingers.

You don't want to put your finger on it, at least not this season. You'll say it again the next season, and the next, but you ignore that.

"So then I'm your favorite person?" You turn around and bonk your fist against his chest.

He whistles again, drawn-out like he does in awkward moments, but you know it's only playful. "Don't push your luck, dove. You're like... top 5!"

"Top 5? Aww," You feign offense, plopping your hand over your own chest now, "I didn't make it to top 3?"

He splays out his hand and begins to count on his fingers. "There's my mom, then my dad, then the family dog, Liam from the rodeo, and then you."

"The family dog?" Your eyebrows furrow, and the acting seems a bit too real until the look on your face gives away to a memory of his dog giving you kisses. "Oh, yeah, okay. I get it."

"See? You get it." Tyler chuckles, spins you back around and keeps on walking.

The spot you guys picked today is drier than the last, which is something you're thankful for. It's quite far from any town, but the streetlights that adorn the far off road make you feel a bit safer that civilization is just around the corner. There's a light breeze, not too cold and not too fast, and the stars! Oh, the stars.

They're damn nice out here cause they're actually visible tonight, a little less light pollution, you think. It's certainly a lot brighter than, say, NYC or Washington.

"Ain't they pretty today?" Tyler comments, his hands on your shoulders squeezing.

"Yeah. Sparkly too. You know any constellations?"

"No," He hums, his voice holding a bit of lament. "I tried, once. I tried taking a class in college. Astrology."

"How'd that go?" You ask offhandedly, hopping onto the bed of the truck.

"Ended up being too stressed with my main curriculum and dropped the class before it got too far." He fixes a tarp over the top of the truck bed, over the exoskeleton, so not much light will shine over your eyes when you try to sleep.

"The smart Tyler Owens got too stressed?" You ask as you help him up.

"Being smart doesn't mean I have good time management." Tyler says as he sits next to you, and you shrug. Suppose he's right.

"Still pretty though." You hum, leaning your head against his shoulder as you look up.

"Yeah." He agrees. His arm comes to wrap around you naturally, running up and down your side. "Have you ever tried to come up with constellations with... I don't know, whoever you were looking at the sky with?"

"You know what? I don't think so." You raise a finger, tracing a path in the stars for a moment, trying to find something interesting.

He finds one before you, pointing at a group of stars in a weird glob shape. "There, a cloud!"

That alone gets you to let out an ugly, surprised laugh; despite how ugly you might've thought it to be, he thinks it's cute. "You trynna cloudgaze with stars, cowboy?"

"Shut up." He laughs, knocking his head against yours. "You try, genius."

After a couple seconds, you point out a distinct...cone shape in the sky. "Unicorn horn."

"Unicorn horn?"

"What am I supposed to say, cone?"

"You could've said ice cream cone, a little more age appropriate, you know?" He holds out his hand, holding out a small gap between his index and thumb fingers to accentuate little.

"Yeah, well it has no ice cream, dumbass."

"Woah," Tyler withdraws, raising his hands in surrender. "no need to get so defensive, dove."

You slap his hands only to draw them back around you. He has no complaints about that. "Clearly we both suck at this. Let's just admire the stars normally."

He huffs out a laugh but turns his gaze back to the night sky without complaint. It's rather peaceful, this moment, and so nice. Maybe it's not rare that you get comfortably quiet moments with him, nor is it ever rare for Tyler to hold you close like this, but it doesn't make it any less endearing.

"Look!" Tyler breaks the silence suddenly, finger tracing a path in the stars. "A heart."

"You're kidding." You huff out. He's just playing with you, he has to be, especially after your miserable attempts at finding shapes in the sky.

Despite yourself, your eyes will the stars above you into the shape of a heart. Goddamnit, you think, because it's definitely a sign.

"I'm going to sleep." You tear yourself away from his grip and he laughs and tries to steal you back to him, but you fight briefly and end up winning. It's a nice victory, especially because you won over him, but it's not on par with actually finding something in the sky (and you're avoiding the sign).

Tyler chases after you, flopping down beside you. The tarp above casts darkness over the back of the truck bed, but a soft glow still shines through.

You sigh and tuck a hair of Tyler's behind his ear, to which he only laughs. "Jealous, much?"

"Oh, totally." You'd roll your eyes, but they're stuck on his.

"I won." He's triumphant, but you can only focus on how pretty his smile looks.

"You did." You reply, not fighting him on it, and slowly his amusement fades away with the deflation of his body.

"You're not making this fun." Tyler steals your hand, presses the back of it to his lips and notably does not pucker up and kiss. It might be payback, or it might be avoiding the obvious intimacy that kissing you is.

"It wasn't a competition, anyway." You remind him, and he rolls his eyes.

His attitude eventually exudes out of him with a sigh, and he lets go of your hand to push closer. His head rests below your chin, his nose against your neck, and it's not new, but it's not old either.

"I'm sick n' tired of you." He huffs against your neck as you take the opportunity to tuck the both of you in.

You hold back a laugh. "Oh, yeah? Tell me why."

His voice is muffled against your neck, and maybe the vibrations tickle, but you don't dare move away. "I won! We should be celebrating that."

"Celebrate it in your dreams." Despite it being practically the same thing as in your dreams, it actually sounds quite genuine.

"Don't be like that," Tyler whines. "let me stay up for a little while."

You put your hand in his hair, then, twirling strands around your fingers and scratching his scalp, and Tyler hates you and also loves you, because it feels so good that it pulls a groan out of him, but it's lulling him to sleep.

"You're cheating." He whines again. He's being rather childish, huh?

"It's way past your bedtime." You say in a sing-songy way. Curiosity takes over, and you pull his head away from you gently to look into his eyes.

They open once you pull him off you, just barely. Half-lidded, not by lust, but by sleep. "I just wanna hold you for a little while longer." He says, and you don't know how he does it, but his eyes have turned pleading.

"That's on you to try, cowboy." You huddle close again, allowing him to take up the same position as before.

Despite himself, Tyler sighs contently, wrapping his arms around your midriff. One of your hands is on his back, rubbing slow circles, and the other is back on his hair.

He's definitely not going to last long now.

"When's the last time you've ridden a horse?" Tyler babbles on to try to keep awake, but you can hear the sleepy lilt in his voice. "I think my last time was when I last visited home, before the season started."

"One sheep over the fence, two sheep over the fence–"

"Shuddup."

You laugh, hands smoothing over his hair again. You're not sure how you're not very sleepy right now, tucked under the blankets, in his warm hold. Maybe it's the subconscious thought of not accidentally hitting your head on the spare wheel above you, or the faraway feel of the ridges of the truck bed below you.

Or maybe it's wanting to tease him.

"Kiss me."

"What?"

You've kissed before, little playful things: cheek kisses for the camera, neck kisses to either scare you or tickle you, forehead kisses after particularly dangerous scares, hand kisses when he's trying to act all gentlemanly, temple kisses after hugs. You've never kissed him on the lips before, and actually, neither of you have ever explicitly asked for a kiss. They've always been given without question.

"Please?" He asks again, pulling back so that his forehead is off your neck.

Oh, he only wanted a forehead kiss.

You oblige happily, press your lips against his forehead and let out and exaggerated muah!

"No, not there." He pulls away almost entirely, scooting up to be face to face.

You'd laugh, if what he was asking you for wasn't a kiss on the lips. You can't lie, you've thought about it before, when the sun shines a particular way over his face at sunset, or when he's considerably too hot to ignore.

...you're going to have to talk about this tomorrow.

Except tomorrow is not today yet, and so you cup his cheek. You debate it for a moment, a yes or a no, but there's one answer clear in your mind, a yes.

You press your lips against his, and it's more subtle than that forehead kiss, and it feels so much more tangible, in a way. His lips move against yours, a languid thing, a soft thing.

You wonder if he's going to remember this tomorrow, if being as sleepy as this is equivalent to being drunk.

"Thank you." Tyler says as you part, and he settles back where he was, head against your neck. He seems satisfied now, willing to nod off.

"Don't mention it." You say automatically.

Okay you're definitely going to have to talk about this tomorrow. For now, though, you'll just hold him. It's a strange thing to say, but he's always been rather nice to hold, a big man to fill your entire hug, even if he does make your heartbeat spike.

"Goodnight." He says.

"Sweet dreams." You reply.

There's nothing else to think about but the feeling of him in your arms and the warmth of his body as your eyes draw closed.

[callsign-dexter]

A Father's Nightmare

Request: Hi!!!! 

OMG I am obsessed with Twisters!!!!!! 

I was wondering if I could please request a Tyler Owens x daughter reader where Tyler and his daughter are at a rodeo and a tornado happens but they get separated so Tyler isn’t able to find the reader until after the storm. 

maybe the reader is like 5 or so?

totally your choice and it is no pressure and feel free to change anything 

thank you

Pairings: Tyler Owens x Daughter!Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, tornadoes, cursing

Masterlist

When Tyler found out he was having a child he was ecstatic and when you arrived, he was even more ecstatic. The team loved you and were surprised that Tyler actually had a child but took you in with open arms. Your mother was never in the picture since it was a one-night stand with your father and when she told him she was having you, he stayed with her and when you were born, she took off. Tyler was devastated but he had you and that was perfectly alright with him. If you ask him, he would say that you two were better off without her and that you're the most important thing to him and nothing was going to change that even if he dated other women besides your mom, then again you were too young to know who your mother was anyways.

When the team went chasing you usually stayed in the van with Dexter and Dani. Most of the time you were with your dad in his truck with Boone while not chasing. You loved the chasing of the storms always had and always will. You had been through so many states probably more than any kid your age and you loved it. Each time you got a souvenir from the state either from your dad, the team, or everyone. Your room back at your home was full and it just kept growing especially thanks to your dad that knew how to make more storage. 

Currently you are heading to Oklahoma. You had a passenger with you, a reporter from London, Ben is his name and you liked him especially his accent. You loved listening to him talk. “Dad?” You asked from your booster seat.

“Yes, Sweetie?” He asked looking in the rear-view mirror.

“I'm hungry.” You said and he chuckled.

“Uncle Boone has some snacks for you.” He said and you lit up and Boone smiled as he pulled out Goldfish and turned around to give them to you.

“There you go my favorite Owens.” He said 

“I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.” Tyler said and Boone chuckled and turned to him as you watched them as they bickered.

“I mean, Tyler. C'mon on man. You're handsome but you can't beat that cuteness back there.” Boone said and Tyler knew he couldn't argue with that.

“You're right. Nobody can compete with that.” He said looking at you through the rear-view mirror as you watched him and munched on your Goldfish and offered some to Ben who gladly and politely took what you were offering to him. 

—

By the time you had arrived at a gas station in Oklahoma you were fast asleep. Tyler didn't want to move you or wake you but you needed to be transferred to the RV. So, after he met the crowd and got them hyped up, he went over to you and carefully and skillfully got you out of the truck and transferred to the RV and now it was time to go chasing. You only woke up when you started moving and noticed you were in the car with Dexter. “Dex?” You asked and he briefly turned to look at you.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” He said and turned back to the road.

“Daddy?” You asked 

“He's in the truck in front of us.” He said and satisfied with that answer you went back to doing your own thing. Your own thing was looking around at the scenery and the tornado up ahead and you got really excited. Your eyes widened in excitement and you loved every second of it. When the chase was over everyone was parking and celebrating and your dad held you and paid attention to you.

Throughout the days you were there you hardly rode with your dad for safety reasons. Whenever you weren't chasing you were in your dad’s arms just being with him. You got stares but he ignored them and had his attention on you and only on you. One tornado tore through a town and instead of chasing like your dad had planned you were heading to town to help people out. As he was helping the town out, he stuck you with Dexter who was handing out food and dealing with merchandise by the RV. You had a clear view of your dad and some lady. You watched him intently and could tell they were arguing and that made you upset but didn't say anything. After you were done there, everyone was heading back to the motel. Once everyone was settled in and became dark out Tyler got word of a rodeo and decided to take you there along with the girl he was talking to “Come here, Sweetie.” He said picking up.

“Where are we going?” You asked as he walked towards his truck. 

“We're going to a rodeo.” He said as he opened the truck.

“A rodeo?” You asked confused but excited. 

“Yup, a rodeo.” He said starting to buckle you in. 

“Are there going to be horses there?” You asked excitedly and he chuckled. Ever since you were little horses have always excited you. 

“Yup there are going to be horses there.” He confirmed.

“Yay!” You said as he finished buckling you. He smiled and kissed your forehead and then got in the front seat.

“We need to make a stop first.” He said and you nodded at him as he took off driving. It wasn't that far until he was pulling into a spot and then quickly got you out. “Hold my hand.” He said and you nodded latching onto it. You didn't say anything as you walked up stairs to a door and he knocked. “Hi.” He said and the woman looked at him.

“Hi.” She said and then she noticed you.

“This is my daughter, Y/N.” He said “Y/N this is Kate.” He added and you looked at her and became insanely shy and zoned out on the conversation at hand. Next thing you knew you were being picked up and carried. You kept staring at Kate as you walked to the truck and he buckled you in. It wasn't a very far drive to the rodeo and you were silent. “Sorry she gets shy.” He said.

“You don't need to apologize. I get it.” Kate said as he parked the truck. He got out and then got you out.

“Hold my hand, remember.” He said and you nodded.

“Ok, Daddy.” You said quietly and grabbed his hand. The three of you walked into the grounds. “Daddy, I'm hungry.” You said as he looked down at you.

“Alright, we'll get you something. Anything you want?” He asked 

“Surprise me.” You said giggling.

“Anything for my girl.” He said and Kate looked at the two of you smiling. Tyler got something for you and a drink and then you were heading to find seats. You found them and sat mainly on his lap but had moved over to his side. The rodeo started and you were in awe as you ate. Kate and Tyler talked and you tuned them and every now and then excitedly got your dad's attention.

“Daddy! Daddy! Look!” You said and he looked at a beautiful horse.

“I see, Sweetie. He's beautiful.” He said and you nodded as he watched your eyes light up. When the bull riding came up and a friend of your dad's signaled to him, he saw you and waved at you and you excitedly waved back. You snuggled into your dad still intently watching and food having been eaten. The barrel racing started and you were so excited it was your favorite. That was going on for a while and then the wind started to pick up, you knew what that meant and looked at your dad who looked at you and then Kate. 

“Are you tracking anything out here?” She asked and when he didn't reply she knew her answer. Suddenly everyone's phones started to go off and the overhead speakers were going off. As the thunder and lightning lit up the sky you saw the tornado and got really scared.

“Daddy.” You whined and he could hear how scared you were in your voice. 

“It's going to be ok. Stay close to us.” He said and you nodded and then chaos erupted and everyone was rushing to take cover. You were carried down the steps and set on the ground. You grabbed your dad's hand but your little legs couldn't keep up. 

“Daddy!” You yelled out but didn't hear him over the chaos. You stood frozen and started to cry. 

“Hey, you ok?” A couple asked and you recognized them as the ones that sat behind you on the bleachers.

“I lost my daddy.” You said as the woman picked you up. 

“He was sitting in front of us, right?” Her husband asked and you nodded. 

“Yea.” You said 

“Ok, ok. We're going to keep calm and take shelter and we'll find him afterwards.” She said and you nodded and buried your head into her shoulder. The three of you took shelter and now it was time to ride the tornado out. You were shaking and freaking out. The woman and man comforted you but you really wanted your dad.

—

Tyler and Kate moved together. “Stay with me.” He said “Y/N?” He asked not feeling the weight of your hand in his and that made him look down and he froze. You weren't with him.

“Tyler!” Kate said as she felt him stop.

“Y/N! Y/N is not here!” He panicked and that made her go rigid.

“Oh shit!” She shouted over the commotion and she didn't know what to do. As he started to shout your name and look around.

“We need to find her!” He said and started to backtrack but she stopped him.

“I want to find her too but right now safety is the key right now. Let's get to safety. Maybe someone took her to safety.” She said as she was urging him to move. 

“If she ends up being hurt or worse. I will never forgive you.” He said and started to move and it hurt Kate to hear that but she understood it. They got most of everyone to safety inside a pool including a mother and child and that just made Tyler 10x more anxious he needed and wanted to find you. For the first time since the first tornado, he witnessed he was terrified. 

The tornado seemed to last forever but it was only a few minutes and it was over. He uncovered Kate and then stood up and the search for you began. He was quick to get out of the pool and started to look for you. He was calling out your name but got nothing back and that scared him. He was close to tears in fact he knew some slipped out. “Y/N!” He yelled out starting to lift debris and hoping you weren't under there but knew he had to check. 

“Tyler!” Dani yelled and he turned to look at her.

“Y/N is missing. Please help me.” He pleaded and she nodded.

“Ok ok. Let's keep calm. I'll get the others to help. We'll find her.” She said and he nodded. She took off from him and he resumed his search. He started towards the fairgrounds. 

“Y/N!” He yelled out looking under debris and people that were hurt. He asked people if they had seen you and showed a picture of you and they shook their heads. He sent a pain throughout his chest; he was close to giving up but knew he had to find you if he didn’t, he would never forgive himself or Kate since she made him leave you. As he was yelling out your name and looking through the wreckage, he was becoming pissed at Kate for making him leave you. Who knew where you were, you could be hurt and scared or wish dead, he wasn’t going to think about the second one though he would be lost without you. “Y/N!” He yelled in a desperate tone. He could faintly hear the others calling out your name too. He was about to look in another place when a voice, your voice caught his attention.

“Daddy!” You yelled out and he straightened up and looked around trying to find the source, if there was one.

“Y/N!” He yelled your name again and waited to hear you call back again hoping his ears weren’t playing tricks on him. 

“Daddy!” You yelled out and again and he was rushing to the sound tripping over stuff along the way. “Daddy!” Your voice carried to him. He was close.

“Y/N if you can hear my voice, come to me Baby Girl!” He yelled out and sure enough you did and you were accompanied by two people, a husband and wife he assumed.

“Daddy!” You yelled and he kneeled down as you ran into his arms throwing your arms around his neck and he hugged you tightly. Tyler started to cry and he was never going to deny that. Almost losing you was the scariest part of his life. 

“Oh, thank goodness. You're alive. I was so worried.” He said burying his head into your neck. You started to cry as well. “I should've just picked you up when we started evacuating.” He said as the couple came up to him. He looked up at them with tears in his eyes “Thank you. Thank you so much. How can I repay you?” He asked and they shook their heads.

“No need. We were able to get your little girl back to you. Seeing you happy is all you need to repay us with.” The man said and Tyler nodded as he stood up with you in his arms and you clung to him and buried your head into his neck. 

“She's a really sweet girl.” The woman said and he smiled and nodded while sniffling. 

“She really is.” He let out a watery laugh. “I would be lost without her.” He said.

“Well now you're both safe and reunited. We can rest easy knowing so.” The man said and all three of them smiled. Tyler shook their hands and you, him, and the couple took off. He started walking back towards the group. 

“Y/N!” You heard Boone's voice and looked over his way but went back to hiding in your father's neck.

“Thank goodness you found her.” Dexter said as everyone came to the two of you.

“Yea a couple had her and made sure she was safe.” Tyler said, rubbing his hand up and down your back. “I think after this we will take some time off. I need some time with my girl.” He said and everyone nodded.

“That sounds like a good plan.” Lily said of course they would feel sad about it but they understood it since Tyler was close to losing you. 

“Let's go head in for the night.” He said and everyone agreed. Tyler took you to the truck that somehow managed to survive, and buckled you. Everyone else rode together; they knew he needed time with you. When the two of you arrived back to the motel, he was quickly shutting the engine off and scooping you up. Without a word he carried you to the room and opened the door and shut it and turned around getting ready to grab your pajamas.

“Daddy.” You said and he was quick to turn and face you.

“Yes, Baby Girl?” He asked, kneeling in front of you. 

“I love you.” You said and he smiled as tears sprang to his eyes.

“I love you too, Baby.” He said hugging you and you hugged him back. After a minute he pulled away and the both of you got ready for bed. He laid down and you snuggled underneath him. Tonight was a scary night and he almost lost you but you were safe and unharmed with him now and that's all that matters. Once he knew you were sound asleep, he let himself fall asleep. As he was drifting off, he whispered “I'll always protect you as long as you let me.” and then laid a kiss to your forehead which caused you to snuggle into him more. Tyler finally fell asleep with you safe in his arms. He would deal with everything tomorrow but right now he just wanted to be with you and only. 

Tag list:

@kmc1989

@els-marvelvsp

@atarmychick007

@nyx2021

@grandstrangerphantom

@angenu01-blog

@twistersmaverick

@callsign-revenge

@lauraseresin

[the-oblivious-writer]

Shatterpoint

Debra Morgan x Reader

Part One: Debra’s Perspective

Summary: You die doing what you always do, putting other lives before your own. It's what Debra Morgan both loved and despised about you.

Warning(s): Swearing, (major) death, graphic depictions of violence (blood/gore), gun violence, phycological trauma, depression, grief/loss, and vomiting

Notes: Someone requested Debra Morgan angst so......... here it is! I ended up writing a part two from Dexter's perspective (platonically), so that'll be out tomorrow. I've been wanting to write platonic fictional dude characters x reader for some time now

Dexter’s Perspective

The first time Debra breaks down, it's in the middle of the Miami Metro parking lot. You're three days dead, and she's just found one of your forensics reports tucked into a case file – your neat handwriting mapping out blood spatter analysis, methodical and precise. She vomits behind her car, heaving until there's nothing left but bile and grief.

The second time is at your funeral. She watches them lower your body into the ground and something inside her splinters. The sound that tears from her throat isn't human. Dexter has to physically restrain her from jumping into the grave after you. Later, she'll have no memory of this – just the dirt under her fingernails and bruises on her arms where her brother held her back.

The third time destroys her completely.

It's been two weeks since that convenience store security camera caught your last moments. Two weeks since a frightened kid with a shaky trigger finger turned your chest into a crime scene. She's standing in your shared apartment, trying to pack up your things because that's what people do, right? They pack up the dead's belongings and pretend it helps.

Your forensics kit is still by the door where you left it that last morning. She opens it, and your scent hits her – latex gloves and that shampoo you loved and something uniquely you. The organized compartments blur through her tears. Each tool precisely placed, because that's who you were – someone who brought order to chaos, who could look at blood patterns and tell stories of violence with scientific detachment.

She starts throwing things. Your carefully labeled evidence containers shatter against walls. Your case files scatter like dead leaves. She's screaming, but she can't hear herself over the roaring in her head. Over the echo of your voice from that last argument:

"You can't keep running forever, Deb. I love you, but I can't chase you anymore."

The neighbors call the police. Fucking ironic, isn't it? Angel finds her surrounded by the wreckage of your professional life, clutching your laminate to her chest. She's laughing now, a horrible broken sound, because isn't this exactly what you were afraid of? Her inability to handle emotional intimacy, to face her feelings instead of drowning them in rage and whiskey.

They take her to the hospital. Put her on leave. Make her talk to department shrinks who use words like "complicated grief" and "post-traumatic stress" and "survivor's guilt." As if labeling her breakdown makes it more manageable.

She dreams of you. Not the you from the security footage, bleeding out under fluorescent lights. But the you who used to wake her from nightmares about the Ice Truck Killer, who knew exactly how she took her coffee, who could make her laugh even at crime scenes. The you who saw her walls and loved her anyway.

"I'm sorry," she tells your ghost. "I'm so fucking sorry."

But you're not there to forgive her.

Dexter finds her one night, sitting in your office at Miami Metro, organizing blood slides with obsessive precision. Trying to find patterns like you taught her, as if understanding the science of death will somehow make losing you hurt less.

"You're starting to worry me," he says, in that awkward way of his.

She laughs, sharp and bitter. "Starting to? Fuck, Dex, I'm starting to worry myself."

The security footage plays on repeat in her mind. She's memorized every detail – how you raised your hands, trying to de-escalate. How you stepped in front of the teenage clerk, protecting her. Your body jerking back, a crimson flower blooming across your chest. The way you looked surprised, almost confused, as you fell.

She keeps working cases, because what else is there? But every crime scene becomes yours. Every victim wears your face. She gets reckless, aggressive with suspects. Takes stupid risks because maybe, just maybe, if she's fast enough, smart enough, brave enough, she can save someone else's you.

Angel takes her gun after she nearly beats a convenience store robber to death.

"This isn't what they would have wanted," he tells her gently.

"Yeah? Well, they're not fucking here to want anything, are they?"

She finds one of your hair ties under the bed and falls apart all over again. Remembers how you used to gather your hair back before leaning over evidence, that little furrow of concentration between your brows. How she used to tease you about being so serious, so focused. How you'd smile and say, "Someone has to be, with you charging around like a hurricane."

The hurricane is all that's left now.

Some days she can almost pretend she's healing. She goes to work, follows leads, eats when Dexter reminds her to. But then she'll catch a glimpse of the forensics lab, or smell latex gloves, or hear someone mention blood spatter analysis, and she's right back in that convenience store, watching you die on an endless loop.

The department shrink asks her what she thinks you would say if you could see her now.

She doesn't tell him about the letter she found in your forensics manual. The one that begs her not to let grief make her harder, not to let loss change how fiercely she loves. She's already failed you there.

Instead, she says, "They'd probably say I'm proving them right. About running away. About not being able to handle my feelings."

But that's not entirely true, is it? Because this time she's not running. She's standing perfectly still, letting grief consume her, letting the absence of you hollow her out until there's nothing left but echoes and regret.

The security footage plays on. You raise your hands. The gun fires. You fall.

And somewhere in Miami, Debra Morgan keeps breaking, keeps shattering, keeps failing to put herself back together.

Some things just break, and stay broken, and all we can do is learn to breathe around the shards.

-----------

A/N: Not me changing my format...

[brnesblogposts]

story of us

pairing: dexter mayhew x reader

a/n: part of a series that’s also on my ao3 wr1tingtoc0pe :)

————————————

I met Dexter Mayhew on my last day of university. It was our graduation ball and I was dancing with my friends when he caught my eye, not for the first time however.

I’d always noticed him, I’m sure he’d never noticed me but I saw him, he’s hard to forget. Dexter had this aura about him that could only be described as enthralling, not only that but gorgeous blue eyes and a smile that could kill.

20 years ago

“Hi, i’m Dex” The brightest smile made his eyes light up as he held out his hand towards me, the music and lights seemed to stand still as we made eye contact. It took me a few seconds to register that he was talking to me, after an awkward amount of time I finally shook his outstretched hand. he’d never acknowledged me in the four years we’d been on campus together. I gave him my name and told him I knew who he was already, “ The infamous Dexter Mayhew.” I smiled, as did he and I think my heart stopped for a second.

…

“Do you want to dance?”

“I mean I kind of already am” I stated plainly.

“I mean with me” He let out a little scoff, not really a laugh but not not a laugh..

“Oh. yeah, sure” I took the hand he held out to me as he lead me to a quieter area of the dance floor, I could hear my friends squealing as we disappeared.

19 years ago

“Dex!” I ran with outstretched arms for an embarrassing amount of time, probably should’ve waited until I was closer to him really.. when I finally reached him I dropped my bags as he stretched out his arms and I jumped into them, wrapping my arms around his neck as he spun me around laughing.

“Someone’s happy to see me,” he took my bags in his arms.

“Actually i’m just happy to be off of that train. Seven hours.. my bum is sore.” I pouted dramatically as we started walking off of the platform and to the car park.

..

“This time last year we were at the grad ball, can you believe it’s been a year?!” Dexter questioned and I shook my head as the memories of that night ran through my mind.

“I really can’t, i’ve put up with you for a whole year! I deserve a medal.” I spoke exasperatedly and laughed when he gasped,

“you’ve put up with me?? i’ve been putting up with you!” He bumped his shoulder into mine as we reached the car, he opened the boot and put my bags in and then ever the gentleman opened the passenger door for me.

“Dexter Mayhew, what a gentleman,” I quipped as he tipped his imaginary hat at me, closed the door and walked around to the drivers seat.

…

“We’ve been out of university for a year and I have accomplished nothing.” I sighed as I walked next to Dex down the high street.

“We’re twenty three, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, we’ll figure it out.” Dex and I were quite different when it came to our outlook on life, he was all about having fun and living for the moment, ever the optimist with the mindset that everything would work itself out. My mindset was quite the opposite, ever the over thinker. Dex was good like that, he was always there to remind me to be in the moment and to have fun rather than stress about the future.

“What do you think we’ll be doing at forty?” It seems so far away but in reality, it’s not.

“I don’t know what i’m going to be doing tomorrow, let alone at forty” How I wish I could live life like Dex could, no plan or worries about the future. “I will say one thing though. I hope I have children by the time i’m forty” This revelation took me surprise because I didn’t know Dex had even thought about that kind of stuff, “what?” He had a little smile on his face as I gathered my thoughts.

“I didn’t think you thought about that kind of stuff” it was endearing that he had though, Dexter with children.. I mustn’t think about it or I might just melt into a puddle of adoration. Before he respond I spoke again “you’d be a great dad, the best.” Maybe he doubted himself because his smile grew at my words, Dexter Mayhew an aspiring father, never would’ve thought it.

“Do you want kids?” he asked as we entered a quaint café and I waited until we had sat down to answer

“I don’t know. It’s a lot to think about, kids are expensive and there’s so many global issues I don’t know if I want to bring a child into this mess-“ I stopped talking when I saw the sly smile on his face as my eyes found the table, “can you stop staring at me like that, please.”

“Sorry” He seemed to have more to say but he didn’t, “What do you fancy?” You is what I wanted to say, but i’m not that stupid.. I dare ruin this beautiful friendship we’ve forged over the last year.

————-

reblogs appreciated! turn on notifs for this post to be notified for part 2 <3

[thelezzer]

This is random but I was curious and wanted to compare the pacing of DD:BA against the original series!

We're on episode 4/9, which is 44% of the way through the series. Each of the original Daredevil seasons had 13 episodes. If my math is correct, going 44% into a 13-episode season would put you between episodes 5 and 6.

So what's happening around episodes 5 and 6 in the original seasons?

Season 1 Episode 5 has a mix of the legal plot, Fisk stuff, and the rising events for Episode 6, which is the collapsing building episode.

We've already had some pretty major events happen in this season: Claire was kidnapped and rescued, and Fisk had his date with Vanessa that ended with the infamous car door scene. This alone is evidence of a faster pace in DD1 vs DDBA, I think. The plot is definitely moving in DDBA, but the only major events we've really had were Foggy getting killed and Matt being attacked at the end of E2. Most of the first 4 episodes have been laying groundwork for things later.

In the legal plotline, Elena Cardenas is introduced. Her apartment building is being strategically destroyed to get the residents to vacate, which is revealed to be a plot by Fisk, Gao et al. to use the space for crime. As of 1x5, Matt doesn't have hard evidence against Fisk yet. He's still chasing leads on the Russian Mob and overhears a Russian name Fisk to the police. Lots of lead-following in 1x5, which is consistent with what's been happening in DDBA, though the methods differ greatly.

Just the action of having Matt flipping between his lawyer and vigilante lives does a lot to help it feel like more is happening, even if the outcome of the scene (getting more information) is the same. This is exemplified by 1x6, which is very action-packed but doesn't actually accomplish that much. Matt finally gets to talk to Fisk and confirm that he's behind it all thirty minutes in, and that's the critical point of the episode.

Season 2 This point of S2 is definitely connections-based, with most of the plot movement just being groundwork (much like DDBA). I must praise the writing here for how integrated these two parts of the story are. In 2x5, Elektra comes bearing Plot via the Roxxon Corporation and we get flashbacks to establish who she is. Karen pursues Frank's case, leading her to connect with Ellison who helps her uncover the story of Frank's family being killed. We also explore Matt and Karen's connection in the romantic subplot, mixed with Elektra's meddling.

I think the connections focus is pretty on-par with what we're seeing in DDBA. We're setting up connections from BB to Daniel to Fisk, Fisk to Heather to Matt, Heather to Muse, and Matt to Frank. I do think that the plotlines are much less interconnected than in DD2, which makes it feel less satisfying. I'm sure it's going somewhere, but it doesn't really feel like much is clicking into place with the forging of these connections.

In 2x6, Matt begrudgingly agrees to team up with Elektra and N, M & P take up the Castle case. Since we're measuring pacing, I'm surprised that they're just now taking the season's main legal case when the case at this point of DDBA has already wrapped up. I suppose the Ayala case is more closely comparable to Grotto's case: not a full-season focus, and The Punisher (or "The Punisher") kills the client.

Season 3 Matt has survived being driven into the harbor after the fiasco at the jail, Foggy and Karen know Matt is alive, Fisk is on house arrest and looking into Dex, who is still stalking that woman.

Much like 2x5, 3x5 has some flashbacks — this time for Dex. Through Fisk's eyes, we get a pretty speedy run through Dex's history. Matt is only in the final three minutes of this episode, which is crazy to me! Most of the episode focuses on the FBI investigation as they question Foggy and Karen about Matt and the aforementioned jail fiasco, and really introducing us to Dex through the flashbacks and his current behavior, isolated from the rest of the characters. Very groundwork-y, lead-following aplenty, pretty on-target with DDBA.

3x6 starts with Matt (now officially a wanted man) sneaking into Karen's apartment for help. He wants her to help expose Fisk with the power of journalism, but she refuses. Karen talks to Foggy, who suggests an arrangement for Matt to turn himself in; Foggy is being both pragmatic and a good friend here, and he manages to convince Karen to help Matt. She goes to the Church and speaks to Sister Maggie (who says Matt isn't there), then goes to look for Jasper on her own...surprise! Matt is there, too.

In the Fisk-Dex plotline: Dex speaks to Fisk directly, and Fisk manipulates him. Dex outwardly rejects Fisk, but the encounter sticks in his head with the added pressure of being investigated based on an "anonymous tip" about his role in the shootout during Fisk's transfer.

Something interesting is happening in this episode: we keep hearing very deep, psychological details about Matt from other people. Foggy talks about people bailing on Matt, and correctly guesses that breaking off their friendship is hurting Matt just as much as it's hurting him and Karen (hahahaha ow). Maggie tells the story of Matt's constant nightmares, and how when she didn't come to help him, he never asked for anything again. This isn't really relevant to this post, but damn, I had to mention it.

Actually, I'm gonna call it there on 3x6. 3x5 seemed on-pace with DDBA but there's a lot of movement in episode 6 that pushes it ahead of the DDBA pacing.

Conclusion I do think DDBA is roughly pacing seasons 1 and 2, and lagging just barely behind season 3 (if episode 5 is a real bombshell, it'll catch up). The action of switching between Matt Murdock and Daredevil creates the illusion of a faster pace without actually moving the plot forward that much more than a regular daytime Matt scene could. Season 3 compensates for the loss of that switch with lots of character study material, but DDBA has no such compensation. I think what we are getting is great, but there really is a void in the story of Born Again. It's probably intentional, but maybe not an ideal choice for a show with 9-episode seasons.

Speaking of the shorter season, there's more filler in Daredevil season 1 than I remembered! Plenty of characters in the Fisk plot that don't really matter all that much. They're not completely inconsequential, the writing is too good for that, but we see more of them than necessary. But even though it doesn't matter to the macro-scale plot, it does give us something entertaining to focus on; DDBA doesn't have the room to give us stuff like that with 4 fewer episodes to the season.

Born Again would really benefit from the tightness of Season 2, where we get characters from one side of the story introduced concurrently with ideas from another plotline. Everything feels like it exists in its own box right now, and I'm hoping we see the cords start to tangle in episode 5. Waiting any longer than that would be a mistake.

[ambernotember]

feelings greedy asking for two but... 🏒 or 🧪

Ohhh you can totally ask for two!!

Mythbusters!

“How are we going to find a small European car that we can smash between two semi trucks?” Hen asked. “If it was just a compact car, sure, but specifically a European model?”

“Craigslist?” Chim suggested.

“Wrecking yards?” Buck added.

“I might know a guy,” Tommy said. “I could give him a call.”

“You might know a guy?” Hen said incredulously. “Someone that would let us total their car?”

“Yeah, it’s already undriveable and he hasn’t been able to fix it with anything he can find here, and he doesn’t want to pay more than the car cost to fix it importing parts. He was thinking about taking it to a wrecking yard anyways. As long as he hasn’t already, I think he’d be okay with you guys smashing it.”

“Sick,” Buck said, rolling off the couch. “I am going to go work on the plan for the semi trucks. Let’s get ready to go smash some cars.” He disappeared into the work room, leaving the other three in the break room/kitchen.

“He’s enthusiastic,” Tommy said as he started to dial his phone.

“He’s basically still a little kid who likes smashing things,” Hen said.

“And we aren’t?” Chim asked her. “I saw how excited you were when Karen and Bobby were working on the rocket.”

“It’s a rocket,” Hen stressed. “Who wouldn’t be excited about that?”

“Okay, so when we smash the car, you want to be the one who stays here?”

“I didn’t say that.”

Tommy wandered out into the work room to find Buck perched at one of the work tables, working on the plan for towing the two semis.

“Hey. My friend said you guys could have his car.”

“Seriously?” Buck’s head shot up, eyes wide and smile wider. “That’s amazing! I was starting to think we might never be able to do this one.”

omgcp/911 crossover!

“It’s really nice of you to open your home up to everyone,” Nursey said.

“We have the space, why not take advantage of it?” Athena shrugged it off. “I’ll let you two get some food, do the rounds. We’ll chat later, Derek.” She nodded to them and moved over to talk to Bobby, stopping to grab him a water on the way.

“Was that “we’ll chat later” a good thing or a bad thing?” Nursey asked Dex under his breath.

“I think it was a good thing?” Nursey looked at him. “Hey, I don’t know her well enough yet, most of the time we see each other it’s on a scene and we don’t have time to stop and talk.”

“I think I’m going to have to assume it was a good thing or I’ll go crazy thinking about it.”

“Let me introduce you to Tommy,” Dex said, taking his hand and leading him over to the bar where Buck had taken over the bartender position and was making drinks for May and Tommy.

“Hey, Dex, Nursey, good to see you!” Buck said. “What can I make for you?”

“Just a beer thanks,” Dex said, and Nursey echoed him. “Tommy, May, this is Derek Nurse, my boyfriend.”

make me write

[taylorswiftfostersitagain]

it’s been a while but you know i keep track of those quotes to kotlc-ify them

“Are you implying that only white girls can do that pose?” - Biana

“Why are we moving? To a different patch of grass?” - Fitz

“Well, no one’s gotten hit by a car yet, so we’re probably fine.” - Sophie

“Anyone down to walk the whole way back?” - Keefe

“Chat, who’s that guy in all black?” - Keefe (about tam)

“You guys weren’t even watching Sophie do her griddy!” - Dex

“I just have a lot of questions.” - Biana

“It seems I’ve struck a nerve here.” - Mr. Forkle

“Is he sucking them up?” - Dex

“I can’t hit my protein! SIXTY. QUAIL. EGGS.” - Sophie

“Is it dark, gray, depressing, and droll? Not fabulous.” - Linh

“I’m still mad at you for stealing my bandanna.” - Keefe

“I don’t know, what prompt did I get?” - Dex

“Yeah, ‘cause I’m a team player.” - Sophie

“Yes, but it was meant to be deteriorating.” - Fitz

“So you can read my paper, but not the directions on yours?” - Biana

“They know me as the rizzler… What?” - Keefe

“I’m going to fight for myself.” - Sophie

“She’s embarrassed of her past.” - Tam

“The pockets are a little big, but whatever.” - Biana

“‘Cause homegirl knows her English.” - Sophie

“I’m gonna see The Rock’s teeth in my nightmares now.” - Keefe

“I should be giving this presentation, not you! You eat meat!” - Fitz (to sophie at the beginning of the series)

“OH, THE FIRE OUTSIDE IS RIZZY” - Keefe

“I AM THE DRIVER, you are the victim.” - Tam

“You never know when you might need a strand of DNA.” - Dex

“In the words of 90’s girl group TLC, ‘I don’t want no scrubs.’” - Sophie

“All winning streaks have to end eventually.” - Linh

“I do use a nighttime moisturizer, thank you.” - Biana

“Not in Agatha All Along, they don’t.” - Sophie

“Oh, you’re plotting? I’ll plot back.” - Sophie (at the neverseen)

“That’s not what my health care provider told me.” - Keefe/Sophie (elwin is their health care provider)

“First of all, why are we dancing that close?” - Biana

“Are you thriving, surviving, or barely alive-ing?” - Sophie

[takenbypeter]

i’ve never asked for a request so i hope im doing this right lol but im so glad i found someone who’s taking requests for dex cause i feel DEPRIVED and im in love with that man 💀

hope this is alright, but i wanted to make a request for something along the lines of stealing dex’s clothes or either him or reader randomly (but a bit excessively) saying ‘i love u’ - he doesn’t strike me as the type to say i love u but hey i’m living it fantasyland anyway

thank u

<333

Thriving On A Single Phrase

Ben Poindexter x reader

Words: 348

Author’s note: your request was PERFECT! I love this one, it's so cute! Thank you for requesting!

“I love you.”

A sentence Dex never thought would be directed at him.

“I love you.”

A phrase Dex never thought he’d ever get used to.

Yet after jumping over that first hurdle, here you two were saying it night and day, “I love you.”

Just the sound of it coming out of your mouth made his smile widen ten times, while when it came to saying it himself, he could feel his heart practically flutter with nerves before easing as he’d see your expression soften into that smile of your own.

God, how he loved to make you smile.

There was nothing quite brighter than that.

So after all that you can imagine his agony when almost a full morning had practically flown by and he had yet to hear those words from your lips.

You woke up together, got ready for work together, ate breakfast together, yet nothing.

Dex knew not to read into it too much. I mean everything did seem fine, you were still your cheerful self, but it was all too strange not having heard that phrase a few times already.

Although he knew not to spiral it was hard not to wonder if he did something wrong? Did you even mean those words when you’ve said it before?

His heart was heavy as he drove you to work which was conveniently on the way to his.

Once he was parked he waited as you gathered your things and said your goodbyes, shutting the car door behind you. He watched you take a few steps away before turning right back around.

Concern expressed on his face, (while there was a smile on yours), he watched you open the door and lean in giving him the quickest of kisses on the cheek, “I love you.”

And suddenly there it was again. That warm, dazed, unbelievable feeling that was now washed completely over him. He must’ve looked like he was brainless because he noticed your eyebrows raise curiously.

He quickly fixed himself again before saying his own, “I love you,” sending you off to work.

It was beyond belief how much he thrived on a single phrase.

[starkidsimping]

before the batman : annotations

spoilers for the novel btw //

these are just some lines i highlighted and my notes. warning, theyre very stupid and hold little to no actual content. literally just my immediate response to whatever i had just read. THIS IS STUPIDLY LONG ! ! blue - bruce centric notes green - edward centric notes pink - misc notes, other characters, etc.

Prologue: The Boy in the Choir

"But when it was empty, Bruce had played in the big room, rolling toy race cars across the gleaming wooden floor all by himself."

OH MY GOD BRO :( what a patootie

-

"Except for one boy."

wsp baby :( ily

-

Chapter I: Summer Plans

"Alfred smiled and held up a notebook computer. 'I did. Straight A's. You made the Dean's List again.'"

hes just so proud of his boy </3 weeping

-

Chapter II: A Secret Project

"Alfred liked to joke that he was teaching him 'Brucejitsu.'"

theyre so cute im gonna vomit

-

"...private train car..."

this is insane. for the record .

-

"(About nine times out of ten, the mysterious substance turned out to be chewing gum.)"

let bro have fun :( hes so cute im gonna cry. just imagine him being so excited about making some incredible scientific breakthrough of an unknown, potentially supernatural substance and its. gum. hes so cute :(

-

"Maybe someday soon this car could take him there."

HES SO CUTE hes just a little boy ..... (hes 17.) honestly his dissatisfaction with life is just a result of nepotism. my poor wittle nepo baby

-

Chapter III: Edward

"...Edward Nashton."

HAIII :3

-

"You weren't supposed to say you hated school. But you were supposed to think summer was fun."

CHRIST hes so autism coded. 'supposed to,' like theres a certain way that youre meant to think that everyone else knows about, but he specifically is left out and has to guess on what hes 'supposed' to say, think, feel, etc...

-

"He smirked at me. Thought he was so much better than me."

sighs loudly .

-

"If a distant relative sent some money to one of the orphans, everyone would say, 'Man, you're such a Bruce.'"

NOT THEM TURNING HIS NAME INTO A SLUR LMFAO

-

Chapter IV: The Bruce Wayne

"He quickly found the right wrench by touch."

oh my god bro be soooo fkn fr. hes such a loser. i love him

-

"He certainly didn't want to blow the engine. Just make is growl."

oh hes one of THOSE …….. okay baby whatever makes you happy. i love how hes literally just the Car Boyfriend. F1 fan . smh

-

"'The way this guy was driving, I thought maybe they'd changed it to the Indianapolis Motor Speedway.'"

dickhead

-

Chapter V: I Know You

"Anything except his parents back."

oh. erm …!

-

Chapater VI: Dex and Paul

"That felt good—leaving ’em in the dust."

hes so cute. "haha yeah >:) i totally win"

-

Chapter VII: Thrills

“'Cheapskate,' he’d muttered as he walked back to his bike."

bro is so unserious. 'ax an elder' like that would blow over well. youre such a little freak i love you I LOVE YOU

-

"But now just the thought of doing something wrong—even something dangerously criminal—thrilled him."

you need a better outlet baby. have you considered getting diagnosed ......

-

Chapter VIII: You're In

"It was a puzzle he was determined to solve."

PUZZLE MENTION ! ! i like the parallels between ed and bruce ; both getting a thrill out of something they shouldnt be doing, being really good at certain respectives (i.e. edward and puzzles, bruce and cars) (this feels really autistic. for both of them)

-

"And he had a feeling Dex would disapprove."

he js wants to impress his cool new friend this is so sad lmao

-

Chapter IX: The Race

"But then the flash turned into a flame, and the flame spread quickly. BOOM!"

babys first act of terrorism LMAO

-

"Her engine blew, and her black muscle car careened off the street, hit a wall, and burst into flames."

OH MY GOD ?

-

Chapter X: Bye, Paul

"I wore my seatbelt like a good citizen should."

girl what are you on about now is NOT the time

-

"Aww, he thought. Poor little rich kids! Did someone bust up your racing party? Too bad! I wonder who it could have been."

shifty little fucker bro is MALICIOUS LOL

-

Chapter XI: Running

"Now, how was the race last night? Did you win?"

ALFRED ILY SM bro is so silly

-

Chapter XII: An Appointment

-

Chapter XIII: Changes

-

Chapter XIV: A Suit

"Bruce had written his thoughts down in a notebook:"

i just adore that he keeps a diary. i found it hysterical while watching the movie and now i just appreciate it

-

Chapter XV: The Point

"He brought the same lunch every day—sandwich, carrots, apple."

hes so cute im gonna THROW UP. im gonna throw up. same thing every day bro im just adding this to my list of reasons as to why hes autistic. possible safe foods for him and also just routine. god i love him. if he told me to make him a sandwhich i would. whats feminism idk ......

-

"Edward looked him in the eye. 'For a numbers guy, you sure use a lot of words.'”

ok fine i giggled. hes such a smartass LMAO what an asshole (affectionate)

-

Chapter XVI: Robbery

-

Chapter XVII: Smear it On, Blow it Up

-

Chapter XVIII: Under the Mask

"'You again?' he gasped. 'What do you want?' 'You,' Bruce said,"

im blushing

-

"Then he got an idea. What if it wasn’t there anymore?"

please for the love of god do NOT blow up the building full of orphan children i cannot keep defending you

-

"It was Dex."

GENUINELY CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD ??

-

Chapter XIX: A Visit to Smitty

-

Chapter XX: For My Lawn Mower

“'Give me back that bag,' Dex warned, lifting the rake. 'Or what?' Bruce asked, chuckling. 'You’ll rake me into a neat pile?'”

shut up dude 😭 😭

-

"Keeping a careful hold on the satchel, he wrapped his powerful arms around her, trapping her."

HELLO SAILOR

-

“'I’m going to fill this,' he explained. 'For my lawn mower.'”

i cannot keep defending this guy (yes i can) hes gonna set a fkn orphanage on fire dawwwggg

-

"And just like always, Edward had made exactly zero impression on the cashier."

the "disguise" wasnt even necessary bro no one gaf 😭 😭

-

Chapter XXI: Nice Kick

"...he saw the driver on the ground reach into his pocket, pull something out, and aim it at the truck. A remote control."

goodbye bruce. you were so so sexy

-

"As the fire alarm went off..."

BRO . YOU DID NAWT .

-

"They were right. There was no fire. Yet."

oh ok nvm carry on then

-

Chapter XXII: Busted

-

Chapter XXIII: Resolutions

"Then something interesting occurred to Edward. What if I sent riddles with my crimes?"

UR SO CORNY DAWG . shut up ur so corny . someone get this cornball outta here (and in my BED)

[amberlynnmurdock]

Aim For My Heart (Part 2)

Pairing: Benjamin Poindexter x Reader

Summary: Dex contemplates opening up to her.

Genres: FLUFF, with angst at the end

A/N: No idea what I'm doing with this story but here's an update LOL. Enjoy!

Tags: @danzer8705 @pcrushinnerd

Your moral compass isn’t broken, Dex. It just works better when you have a North Star to guide you.

Routine was important for Dex’s way of living. Routine helped him keep on the straight and narrow path. It was important nothing disrupt his routine or else things could turn upside down for him. Every morning he woke up at six o���clock on the dot. He brewed a fresh cup of coffee. He made his bed. He got ready for work. He tidied up the dishes. Doing these things gave him a sense of control. Doing these things made him feel normal. 

Pretending to be normal didn’t come easy to Dex. Pretending to feel remorse after he’s pulled the trigger on someone didn’t come easy to him. Pretending to care about someone’s feelings was foreign. His heart has felt like a frozen block of ice for almost his entire life. 

Until her.

Doing things for her—nice things—did come easy. Not for the sake of being nice, but for the reaction that it emitted from her each time. Whether it was bringing her coffee every day before work or sending her a goodnight text, he enjoyed the emotion it evoked in her. He enjoyed doing it because he knew she enjoyed it. 

Slowly, and then all at once, she was becoming part of his routine. Eventually, his entire routine. 

There was a purpose now behind the mundane things he did every day. He made his bed so it looked nice for her. He tidied up the dishes so nothing was dirty when she came over. He got ready for work with ease because she was also getting ready for work. In a way, Dex felt connected to her knowing they were both at their day jobs at the same time. The only thing that got hard for him was trying to focus on anything else in his life. His thoughts were consumed by her. Everything he did, she was always at the front of his mind. Guiding him to get through each day he didn’t get to see her. 

Well… at least each day he didn’t get to be with her. 

He still saw her. 

Every day. 

Even if she didn’t know it. 

When five o’clock finally struck, Dex whipped out his phone and immediately sent her a text:

DEX: I hope you had a great day. I can’t wait to see you on Friday. 

She’s never been with a guy who gave her this much attention. As she slid her trench coat on at the office, she was delighted to see her phone light up with Dex’s name. 

“Who’s got you smiling like that lately?!” Emma, her co-worker, teased her. Emma had reddish hair and a bright smile. She couldn’t help but blush being called out by her. 

“This guy I've been seeing,” she answered quietly. “He’s an FBI agent.” 

“Good Lord, __,” Emma placed a hand on her chest. “You’re messing with an FBI agent?! That’s hot.”

“He is hot,” she bit her lip and stared at Dex’s text, anxious to reply. Never has a guy ever texted her as much as Dex has. Never has a guy ever paid so much attention to her. And it’s only been two weeks of seeing him. “And if you’re implying what I think you’re implying—no. We haven’t messed around like that. Yet.”

“And there’s the keyword,” Emma laughed. “Well, when are you seeing him next?”

“Friday,” she said, “he’s taking me out to dinner again.”

“I can’t wait to hear all about it on Monday.”

When Emma clocked out and left, she immediately opened her phone again and saw another text from Dex. 

DEX: Get home safely. It’s cold out here.

Dex parked his car right around her building and waited at the end of the block to watch her come home. He looked around the streets of people and sighed. No sign of her yet. His phone buzzed in his pocket. Of course, it was her.

I can’t wait to see you either. About to be home now. Did you make it home okay?

Dex smiled. She cares. 

DEX: Yes, I did. :) 

Dex looks up from behind his steering wheel and fiddles with his binoculars. He watches as the rush hour crowd crosses the street, people going their separate ways. Some went into the corner bodega, others crossed the street or entered cabs. After a few minutes of people-watching, Dex finally catches a glimpse of her walking down the street. 

She was so mesmerizing to look at. So effortlessly beautiful. How did it come so easy to her to smile at strangers? Dex watches her through his binoculars and smiles to himself. He watches as she dodges a crowd and enters her apartment building. He waits again until he sees her apartment light up. When it does, he leans forward for a better angle. 

“Welcome home,” Dex whispers to himself. He imagines being in her living room, waiting for her. Maybe with a fresh plate of dinner. What would he make her for dinner? Penne vodka? Roasted chicken? Anything she wanted. 

She throws her bag on her chair and leans over her countertop, scrolling through her phone. After a few minutes, she puts her phone down and runs her fingers through her hair. Dex could almost feel her now. He sighs in content as he watches her prepare dinner for herself. Something she takes out of the fridge and heats up in the microwave. 

When she goes to her bedroom, Dex waits patiently for her to come out. He’s not at an angle where he can see her room—he doesn’t want to be. It didn’t feel right to see her intimate like that. While she’s out of view, Dex closes his eyes and rests his head on the car seat. 

He understands that what he’s doing may not seem normal to most people. But Dex wasn’t like most people. When he’s alone, everything feels cold around him. Everything he touches turns to gray. He doesn’t feel like he can radiate warmth from inside. The only way he can bring life back into things is to surround himself with people who can do that. And even then, it was hard to find people like that. 

Watching her makes him feel that warmth. It makes him feel closer to understanding something like it. It gives him hope that maybe one day he can even have a fraction of it. 

She doesn’t come out after a while. And when she does, she turns off the lights in her apartment and retreats to her bedroom. Dex sighs in content. He pulls out his phone. 

DEX: About to hit the hay. Goodnight. :) 

He starts up his car. His phone buzzes. 

Me too. Goodnight, Dex :) 

“Goodnight,” he whispers out loud. 

***

Dex stared at himself in his bathroom mirror for a long time. He was in a suit jacket and white button-down with no tie. Friday finally came, and doubt was filling his mind again. He could never let himself be completely happy, even if nothing had gone wrong. What if this ended up being their last date? What if he somehow scares her off and she leaves him? He knows he would find it really hard to let go. 

His phone buzzes. It’s her.

Ready when you are :)

After picking her up and making it to the restaurant, a different one from the last date, Dex sat across from her and watched her over his menu. She looked at the menu calmly and she looked as angelic as ever. He didn’t want to be at this restaurant, surrounded by all these people. He just wanted to be with her. He looked at her more to drown out the noise of the restaurant. She was wearing an off-the-shoulder navy blue top and black jeans. Her hair was curled at the ends, but her hair was pushed behind her shoulders. He could never tire of looking at her—watching her. 

She closes her menu. It startles Dex. Preparing for the worst, Dex feels his heart plummet in his chest. He feels his anxiety course through his veins. He braces himself for her rejection. And then—

“Do you want to ditch this place and get ice cream instead?”

Dex flinches at the question.

“Uh—what?”

“I’m serious.”

“You’re serious?” His mouth is half open as he looks at her in disbelief. 

“Yes,” she laughed, resting her chin on her knuckle. “I don’t like this menu. I feel overwhelmed. And I've been craving chocolate ice cream since eight this morning.”

Dex raised his brows in amusement and surprise, unable to hide his smile. “I mean, if that’s what you want—then yeah. Let’s go.”

Dex left cash on the table for what drinks they already ordered and she apologized to the waiter. She met Dex at the door and shrugged her coat on. Dex put his arm around her shoulders.

“Do you know where to go?” Dex asks, letting her lead the way down the block.

“Yes,” she nodded. “Just a few blocks up.”

He unwraps his arm around her shoulders and instead finds her hand to hold. She intertwines her fingers with his and squeezes his hand. He suddenly feels that weight he felt before being lifted off his chest. He mirrored her spontaneous nature and couldn’t stop smiling all the way to the ice cream shop. 

When they arrived at the shop, Dex looked at the giant LED ice cream sign in the window. Luckily, there wasn’t a long line. There weren’t a lot of people. He sighed in relief. 

The bells jingled at the door, and a young girl at the counter greeted them. 

While Dex looked around the shop, scanning for threats, her eyes were glued to the menu.

“I definitely want chocolate, but what toppings? Cookie dough? Fudge? Definitely fudge,” she thought aloud. “What are you getting, Dex?”

“Oh, I think just vanilla,” Dex shrugged. 

“Just vanilla?!” She asked incredulously. Dex laughed at her reaction. “No cherry? Sprinkles?”

“I don’t know. Should I?” Dex asked. If she wanted him to get toppings, he would. 

“Absolutely.” 

She orders their ice cream for them and Dex sits at a table, wiping it first with a napkin and making sure it’s clean. For him. Mostly, for her. 

He feels that warmth radiating off her when she sits down next to him at the table. She moved the chair so she could be closer to him. Dex adjusted himself in his seat so he faced her. She handed him his cup of vanilla, with sprinkles and whipped cream. She had her own cup of chocolate with oreo crumbs and fudge. 

“Cheers,” she tapped her cup with his. Dex smiled. And then it dawned on him like a gray cloud over his head. Like it always has. 

“What is it?” She asked, a spoonful of chocolate in her mouth. “Do you not like the toppings?”

Dex blinks hard at the cup as the memories fill his mind instantly. Painful memories. Well, the memories itself wasn’t painful. It was the reminder of this cup of ice cream that brought him back to a time when he didn’t know what painful memories yet were. 

“I just…” Dex trails off, furrowing his eyebrows. “I haven’t had ice cream since before I was sent to an orphanage. Yeah,” he remembers now, and he meets her eyes, “that was the last time I had ice cream.”

She sits for a moment, taking in what he just said—he’s said an awful lot in just a few sentences. He’s revealed an awful lot that she didn’t know before. Dex is an orphan. His parents aren’t here. He hadn’t tasted ice cream since he was a kid; it was practically a taste of his childhood. She’s not a doctor, but she knows how to handle people when they reveal something so deeply personal. She’ll listen. And she’ll turn it into something positive. 

“Well,” she says softly, “it’s been too damn long since you’ve tasted something so sweet.”

Dex looks at her when she says this. He smiles. But he disagrees with her. Because he remembers kissing her just last week. He takes a small spoonful of the ice cream and lets the creamy goodness soak in his tastebuds. He sighs in relief. 

“How does it taste?” She asks. 

“Good,” he nods. “Really good.” 

His heart breaks at the same time. But looking at her mends it back together. 

“Do you want to try mine?” She asks with a small smile. She scoops some for him and feeds it flirtatiously to Dex. Dex groans.

“Aw, come on. Yours is way better,” Dex shakes his head. 

“Let’s switch,” she urges, handing him her ice cream. “Seriously. I want yours.”

Dex looks at her in amusement and trades cups with her. She couldn’t be any more perfect. Caring. Kind. 

“How are you so naturally… kind?” Dex finds himself asking between bites.

“I’m really not,” she says sheepishly, “you’d be surprised. Most of the time, I really hate people.”

Dex laughs and shakes his head in disbelief. “I don’t believe you. You? Come on.”

“It’s true. People are fake—they’re selfish and judgmental. It’s just easier to choose peace and kindness than to fight back.”

“Is it?” Dex questions.

“It’s easier to sit with your choices in the end. You feel better knowing you chose peace. At least, I do.”

He wants to say he does too, but he can’t. Because it’s not true. 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he says. 

“Is it tough as an FBI agent? It must be hard to choose peace in a setting like that. Retaining bad guys and whatnot.” 

“It’s hard,” Dex nods, echoing what he’s learned to say years ago. “It’s really hard. Tensions are always high. You have to have a hard exterior. It’s a lot to be like that all the time.”

“You don’t have to be like that with me,” she says. 

“I know,” Dex affirms. “That’s why I like spending time with you. I don’t have to be a certain way.” 

She smiles and takes a bite of vanilla ice cream. 

“I am so glad I added toppings to this.”

***

On a rare winter night that it’s not freezing outside, Dex and she opted to walk back to her apartment. Hand in hand, Dex holds her tight and close. She rests her head on his shoulder, and that makes him feel important. 

“I had a good time tonight, Dex. You’re nice to me.”

Dex smiles. “You’re nice to me.”

“You can’t copy what I say,” she laughs.

“It’s true,” Dex slows down his pace, knowing they’re approaching her apartment soon. He doesn’t want this night to end. 

She stops him from walking and faces him. She places her hand on his cheek and caresses his cheekbone under the dim light of the street. He takes the initiative and wraps his arms around her waist, bringing her closer to him. He brushes the hair out of her face and looks deeply into her eyes. He pauses, carefully watching her like a beautiful piece of art that’s only meant to be looked at, not touched. Or at least not touched by someone like him—someone unworthy of being allowed to be this close to her. If she knew about his childhood, what would she think? Would she think him a monster? 

Would she understand him? 

Would she leave? 

His confusion must be etched on his face.

“What is it?” She whispers.  

Dex shakes his head in response. 

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me,” he says in a regretful tone. She squints her eyes, cocks her head. 

“It’s only our second date,” she laughs lightly but quiets down when she sees the serious look on his face. It’s all in his hazel brown eyes, that he means what he says. She doesn’t know a lot about him other than that he was an orphan. That he was in the army; he had a therapist. He must have done some things he’s not proud of—but she can’t see herself ever thinking differently of him. Not when he’s been sweet to her. 

He looks away from her like he’s trying to figure out something in his head. She noticed he often had that puzzled look on his face. 

“Dex,” she calls his name before leaning in and kissing him. The kiss is slow…tantalizing. If she were a black hole, he’d surely be sucked in. Whatever worries he had in his head seemed to be gone by the look on his face. His hardened features became soft. There wasn’t a darkness in his eyes anymore—even though she would gladly get lost in it if he let her. 

“I get lost in my head a lot,” Dex struggles to say. “I need someone—I need an anchor when that happens.”

“Is it your job?” She assumes he means about his line of work. She can’t imagine it being the easiest job in the world. Being surrounded by so much violence and danger. 

“Sometimes,” Dex says, “but other things too.”

“Like what?” 

Dex swallows—and looks away again. He wants to open up to her so badly, but he doesn’t want to scare her off. Not when he’s got her exactly where he wants her. 

“You don’t have to tell me about it now,” she continues. “Another night.”

“Another night,” he repeats. He leans down and kisses her again, pressing his lips on hers for a long time. 

Soon, they reach the door to her apartment building. Dex already feels that familiar weight fall on his chest, the moment he knows he’ll be alone again. Away from her, away from the reality he wants. 

He won’t know what to do with himself when he’s home again. 

“I had another great night with you, Dex,” she says, pulling away from his hand but letting her fingers linger. 

“Me too,” he sighs in disappointment. A tone she doesn’t pick up on.  

“You know, if you ever need to talk, you can always call me,” she offers. “I know what it feels like to be alone.”

Dex was hopeful to hear her words but wasn’t sure if she was ready for his kind of loneliness. He sincerely hoped that when he did open up to her, she wouldn’t see him differently. 

“That’s good to know,” he tells her. “Goodnight, __.” 

“Night, Dex,” she said with a smile. “I’ll be waiting for your call.”

When she entered her building, Dex waited outside for a few more minutes until he saw she reached her apartment. She’s safe. He contemplated staying, watching from afar. But truthfully, he was exhausted. It took a lot for him to do what he did tonight—almost open up to her. For once, he felt satisfied with the interaction he had with her, down to the way he kissed her. He was happy she offered to call her anytime he needed it. He’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t need it now. He always needed it. His mind was always racing. 

And it always got louder the closer he got to his apartment. The closer he got to being alone. His hands twitched as he waited for the elevator to reach his floor. When it did, it was like his feet turned into cement blocks as he walked to his door, to enter his quiet and cold apartment. Away from the world, away from her. Doubt filled his mind again, as it always did. Worried that this ounce of happiness he’d been given would be taken from him as quickly as it arrived. 

He hangs his coat in his closet. He pushes the rack of clothes to reveal the safe tucked in the back. Opening it, he grabs the first tape he can find and plays it on his cassette. 

He falls back in his bed, staring at the ceiling. It stares back at him. 

[taus-inc]

My thoughts and feelings on Uglies the movie

I'm starting to think I understand a bit of how people who read Percy Jackson before watching the movies feel. Uglies was... a movie. I have thoughts that I wanna share with a condensed version of my rant with the notes I took at the very bottom. I know in the end it's just a movie but at the moment it's important to me. Obviously SPOILERS for Uglies, the book (mainly the first one) and the movie.

I want to start with the things I liked since that's a much shorter list.

i LOOVEE the casting for Dr. Cable as Laverne Cox, Keith Powers as David, Brianne Tju as Shay. I also like the casting for David's parents, Croy, Sussy, Dex and An.

Not all the design elements hit for me but the look and sound of the hover cars and boards i really liked. As well as how the interface rings looked and worked, kinda showing how easy it was for things to be "hacked". The look of the operation tank wasn't something I thought too hard about but I like how they brought it to life. And "THE SMOKE LIVES" was beautifully done. While reading the books I imagined something more childish given the sparklers but the movie did them wonderfully.

And something small and rather insignificant, Tally telling Shay that Peris was the one who gave her the necklace makes a little more sense than some random person giving it to her and her caring enough to wear it all the way to the Smoke.

Now... on to the nitty gritty of the things I didn't like as much. Some are kinda nitpicky so take my word with a grain of salt as these are all just my personal opinions. I took notes as I watched so they will kind of be in chronological order.

First is the casting of Tally and Peris. I knew when I saw the trailers I wouldn't like Joey King as Tally Youngblood, I don't think she's that bad of an actress, she just doesn't fit my vision of Tally. I like alternatives of someone like HAVANA ROSE LIU !!!, Sophia Lillis, Emma Myers, Paris Berelc, Chandler Kinney, Inde Navarrette, Talia Ryder, Quintessa Swindell. Basically, anyone other than Joey King. Someone I could see being book 1 Tally but also becoming who she was in later books. And for Peris maybe someone like Archie Renaux, Archie Madekwe, Nico Hiraga, Brodie Townsend, Connor Sherry, maybe a Finn Little or even a Charlie Plummer. Clearly, I don't have a set look for these characters just vibes.

I don't like that Dr. Cable is a public figurehead. Most of the things she does and are capable of are because she's more secretive. She's a manipulator who works behind the scenes. I could've appreciated it if they had done more with it and made it a purposeful change but like many other things I don't see the point in it.

Tally's relationships with anyone are honestly one of the most disappointing things done and my #1 gripe with this movie. It just does not make me care at all. We're missing so many vital scenes that I'm sure they couldn't fit all of them in but because of what they cut out I couldn't buy into them as people. Everything just felt so temporary and non concrete. I know it was probably to save money from actors ( f you btw netflix) but I'm sad the only other scene with Tally's parents, them convincing her to give up Shay and the Smoke, was missing. Her and Peris' relationship falls very one note and her and Shay's just falls flat. No real friendship between the two, bonding over feeling lonely and (at least to Tally) beginning their next step to prettiness together. Shay's constant reassurance that she doesn't think Tally is ugly and how she feels about keeping her original face because she doesn't think of herself as ugly either. Shay's anger is completely missing for me when in the book it was a very big thing considering how much Tally's betrayal cost her. The same anger thing with Maddy happened too but more on that later. Even with Dr. Cable manipulating her I think it was so poorly done. She just straight up lied to her about what was going on in the Smoke instead of using everything Tally had wanted for the last 16 years against her.

Next is what I think to be one another major failing on the movie that I have to force myself to understand that they simply didn't have time for but.. Cutting basically all of Tally's journey to the Smoke really hurt me because I feel like throughout all the books Tally's relationship and outlook on the wild is some of the most important because it shows a lot about who she is as a person when she really has to be alone with herself in such dangerous conditions and situations. The wild is always the start of her radicalization and her free thinking. It helps her be more open about the Smoke and it honestly informs a lot of her decisions later down the line. Her puzzling through Shay's note and learning to survive (with the help of some city things) were very detrimental and sad almost none of it made it into the script. And they didn't even get the note right!!

Short and to the point- replacing the rangers who helped Tally (and gave lowkey clues about what she learns later) with the Smokies.. Again, I understand time and money restraints but still Ugh!

Them making Croy immediately overly aggressive and skeptical of Tally also just takes away from his character. Even in the books we have little to go on, but I think taking away making him slowly put pieces together about Tally's stories and the math of the SpagBols simply not mathing is a small but disappointing takeaway.

The entire time in the Smoke went by wayy too fast, they never let you or Tally just sit and exist with the people living there already so again i just don't care that it was raided! We missed out on Tally discovering the people who lived there along with more of her relationship with Shay being discarded. Taking out the library, Tally discovering all of the people and faces from before through books and magazines and the man who looked over all of that. Which flattens her character more seeing as that was one of the first deaths she experiences that she feels is her fault. Tally meeting David's parents felt rushed and their conversation about the lesions just felt like it was her entire reason for suddenly not wanting to listen to Dr. Cable instead of her forming her own opinions and that being her final straw.

Something the movie loved to do was take away so many crucial parts of the story, a major thing being the raid of The Smoke. In the movie it happens so quickly even though I'm sure they could've included a majority of it. Tally's desperation in fighting for something she had inadvertently helped destroy, her and the Boss fighting to protect the last of the books and her watching him get killed because of it. Because of her. Her getting captured and gaining trust and respect from people (Croy!) who previously doubted her, but at the same time her relationship with Shay hitting the fan because she instantly knew Tally was at fault. Her being smart enough to outwit and out maneuver a Special Circumstance soldier and escape. Her hiding in the cave with David. Her coming back to see Croy had convinced people to leave their shoes because she didn't have any while hoverboarding away. All which fuels her guilt and need to protect and rebuild The Smoke seeing as she felt it her fault. In the movie she hid out in the open.. ran out screaming when Az was killed... outed what she had done in front of everyone. Then she blew up a building and Dr. Cable literally just let her go for no apparent reason. David finding out what she had done and what she caused should've warranted more anger but of course we get none of that. Next we just jump into helping the captured Smokies escape and Tally's crazy ass plan that actually helped show the depth of how smart she is was glazed over. We lose the reveal of Dr. Cable testing on Az causing him to pass away which, on top of being a doctor, fuels Maddy's need to have someone give informed consent before testing the cure for the lesions. The movie also took Maddy rightful anger toward Tally away from her. It might seem small in the grand scheme of things but agreeing to be the test subject for an untested brain alter for a woman who dislikes you for having a part in her husband dying is a step in her trying to earn forgiveness.

Shay's reveal to be turned pretty was completely under done and felt because of the lack of depth they gave to her character along with her relationship with Tally. Shay never wanted to be turned pretty and Tally is a big part of the reason her choice was taken away from her. Her becoming pretty was another thing that made Tally completely regret all that she had done and showed more of the ripple effect of the consequences of her actions. Plus that fuck ass wig and ugly silver dress they had her running around in !!

Overall so many of the choices made by netflix just lets me know they never intended on continuing the series in future movies regardless of the outcome of this one. Like them making Peris special and then killing him off ??!! The Specials having special suits and not special bodies. Changing out the rangers to not expand on the lore. ((Edit: The flowers being made by the cities actually does so much to harm the story which also explains why they removed the rangers because it was cities fighting against yet ANOTHER rusty invention that was destroying the world. The cities (who knows how many) were fighting to preserve nature which lends to them dulling people to slow down their overconsumption and later Tally's mission to make sure the wild was protected when people eventually got their free will back.)) Making the ending open ended because there was no way they could fully close it out because of the nature of the books but every other choice felt so definitive as to an ending and nothing more, like showing Tally pretty at the end when the closing of the book was just her surrendering. The movie itself didn't expand on even just the first books’ lore and it just felt like an extremely lukewarm version of the story that happens over a 30 minute period even though the movie is an hour and a half long. Everything felt rushed and not true to Uglies the book at all and it upsets me to see these books introduced to people in this way.

Ok, rant over. Peace out.

───────────⋆⋅☆⋅⋆───────────

TLDR, my sparknote ver.

Things I liked:

Lavern Cox as Dr. Cable

Keith Powers as David

Brianne Tju as Shay

Design of the hover cars and boards

Design of the operation tanks

Design of the "THE SMOKE LIVES" message

Thing I did Not like:

how this movie is a TERRIBLE introduction into this world

their failed attempts at humor

joey king as tally youngblood

dr. cable being a public figure head

the montage that skips basically all the world building

tally and shays watered down relationship

tally and davids watered down relationship

tally's parents not coming to see her before peris and really showing she was pushed into working with dr. cable

making the crash bracelets work like a bungee jacket and not using the mechanics from the book

dr cable lying abt what david and the smoke were doing to that extent

montage of the tallys journey in the wild

replacing the rangers with smokies

croy being over aggressive abt not trusting tally when he was sly and smart abt figuring out her story doesn't make sense

david just going "these are my parents" and no one clarifying their names

tally not slowly coming to realize that the smoke isn't that bad and her doubts before learning abt the lesions

the talk abt the lesions

peris being special

the attack on the smoke

not meeting the boss who keeps track of the books/magazines

tally and david hiding out in the open during the attack on the smoke

peris killing az bc az dying from medical testing was important !!! + az's "wah are yu doin"

tally outing herself in front of everyone 😒 + her dumbass escape scene bc she literally just got let go

not explaining or using tally's very smart plan to get into special headquarters

no pretty speak

shays ATROCIOUS ASS WIG that thing looks like a lego piece on her head and them contacts and that dumb ass dress

that glass breaking as soon as the fire touches it

the pt 2 of the solution being so easy to find and maddy not stealing dr. cables interface ring

the body suit for the specials bc their body is what made them special not the suits

joey king breaking up peris and david's fights was giving the fighting from the kissing booth

peris dying ??!!(!(!(

maddy not RIGHTFULLY being mad at tally for destroying her home and getting her husband killed

croy all of a sudden being on tallys side 

[ofstoriesandstardust]

i love you, i'm sorry (twisters - dani)

a/n: okay. OKAY. this is finally here!! i hope you all enjoy; thank you for all the love, mwah. MWAH. (first part here)

summary: In the wake of Dani re-entering your life, you make some decisions about your future.

warnings: swearing, car accidents, minor injury, mentions of past physical abuse, minor physical violence

wc: 4.5k

Her heart feels like it’s in her throat as she watches your car speed up down the road, Dexter giving her a strange look. 

She wasn’t an idiot, she could see the way Scott was tossing his crews life to the tornados like it didn’t matter, tossing yours around like it was nothing. Every day that StormPar set out, a little more dread settled into her stomach as she wondered if this would be the time you didn’t come home. 

She won’t ever forget the worried tracks Javi had made in that muddy parking lot last week, the way your eyebrows had furrowed as you caught Javi yelling at Scott. She won’t forget Scott arguing with Riggs about money, the way Riggs had told him to do whatever it takes. 

She certainly won’t forget the way Kate had told her to say anything she felt she might need to before it was too late. 

She hadn’t spoken it to the team, her family, what you had been to her. She was afraid to speak those memories aloud, afraid to reopen a door she had shut when she’d left for Arkansas to come work for Tyler seven years ago. 

But she was sure they knew. It makes it all worse, watching Scott’s spiral from afar, unable to get close enough to convince you to let go of what you thought StormPar could be. 

“Scott’s got them headed straight into the tornado.” Dexter whispers as her eyes widen at the realization, coming back into the present. He scrambles for the radio, repeating the information down the line.

“Kate’s already in position, how close are they?” Javi’s voice comes down. 

The van rolls to a stop as her and Dexter begin to watch your car spin out onto a ditch next to the road, falling sideways as it does.

“Dani? Dex? What’s happening? I’ve only got view of two StormPar trucks on our end.” Boone’s voice sounds. 

It feels like time is frozen as she tugs at her seatbelt, desperate to get out and help you as Dexter relays the information to the rest of the team. 

“Dani —“ She pauses, eyes flickering to the radio as Tyler’s voice comes through the line. It’s strained, like he’s forcing himself to be calm. “Do not get out of that car. Let Kate and Javi do their thing. As soon as the storm has collapsed, we can pull them out but until then do not get out of that car. It’s not safe, do you hear me?” 

Dexter hands her the radio and she clicks it on, unsure of what she can say. “Ty, I-“ 

“I get it, D.” 

She thinks he probably does, ever since he watched Kate drive into the EF5 in El Reno that very well should have killed her. 

“I get it, but we can’t do anything right now and we can’t put anyone else’s life on the line right now.” 

She nods, handing the radio back to Dexter, even as the panic sort of sets in as a cold blanket over her. She couldn’t see the StormPar truck anymore and she knew the kid you were driving with hadn’t even made it a full week with StormPar yet. 

She swallows down all her guilt and all her grief as the storm falls prey to Kate’s brain. 

She might have left, she might have been the one to walk out, but she carried the love she had for you everyday. You’d helped her become who she was and she’d always care for you, even if you were adamant about standing on your side of the great divide. 

A million images float through her brain of you: passed out cold, bleeding, trapped against the roof of the car, lifeless… 

“Look!” Dexter exclaims, pointing something out in the distance. 

She squints, leaning forward. Just barely, she’s able to make out the sight of your partner climbing up the ditch the two of you had slid down into as Javi’s truck rounds the bend, Javi leaping out before Lilly’s even stopped. 

-

You groan, twisting your head. You think you can hear glass crunch as someone moves next to you.

“Hey, easy, easy.” They say softly and you blink your eyes open, catching sight of Javi. You take a deep breath as you take in the ruined truck. 

“That’s a tree.” You say bluntly, referencing the fallen tree that’s resting on the shattered windshield, as Javi climbs over the driver’s seat. He snorts, letting his hands fall gently. 

“It is. Good to see you still have your sense of humor in tact. I’m gonna try to lift you out okay? Do you think you can move?” 

Javi’s already unbuckled your seatbelt and you nod, lifting your left arm to wrap around his neck as his arms reach beneath your legs and back. You hiss as your right arms jostles and Javi mutters a couple of apologies as he lifts you. Once out of the truck, he sets you down gently. 

“You good to walk?” He asks as Tyler and Boone appear, shuffling down the edge of the ditch.

You nod, testing putting weight on your feet as Javi keeps his arms secure around you in case you can’t. “Yeah, yeah I think I’m okay.” 

Javi supports you, Tyler coming to your other side, mindful of your right arm as Boone flags someone down.

“Dani’s gonna check you out, okay?” Tyler says gently and you nod. “Though with the way you’re clutching that arm to your chest a trip to the ER might be best.” 

“Okay.” You says softly as Will’s face comes into view, concern marring all his features. 

“Oh my God, I am so sorry!” He nearly shouts, stumbling back. “Scott’s gonna kill me.” 

“Will.” You cut him off, wincing. “It’s all good. Happens. And not so loud, okay?” 

He nods, following after you like a lost puppy dog. “I’ve already radio’ed Scott and told him we need a pickup, they should be here soon. What do you need? Can I help you with anything?” 

“Will, was it?” Javi asks, turning. The boy nods. “Go sit out by Ty’s truck for Scott to come. We’re gonna have our medic check her out and we don’t really need all this excitement.” 

He nods, darting back down the road and you sigh as Tyler and Javi help you sit down into the back of their van. Dani rounds the car, first aid kit in hand. 

Tyler nudges Javi, nodding his head and Javi must get the message, turning to you. “Hey, we’re gonna give you guys some privacy. HIPPA and all that. Holler if you need us.” Javi says and you nod, giving him a tight smile. 

Dani sets to work in silence, asking you a few questions as she tests out for a concussion. She gingerly takes your right hand, stretching it out. You hiss and she mutters an apology as she flexes out your fingers. 

“Well, all in all, a few cuts, few bumps, few bruises. I can’t tell for sure but your wrist definitely seems to be fractured and you’re showing signs of a minor concussion so I’d definitely recommend getting yourself to an ER tonight.” 

You nod as Dani starts packing up her first aid kit. She pauses as you start to hear a truck come down the road. 

“By the way, I’m really glad you’re okay. It was terrifying to watch the car spin out like that.” She says quietly. 

“Dani-“ 

“I will deal with you later!” Scott’s voice comes from down the road, angry as ever. 

“Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” She mutters, glancing up as Scott rounds the van. 

“And you!” He yells, grabbing you by your injured wrist. Protests go up from the Wranglers as you wrestle gently to pull the arm from Scott’s grip. “How many times have I told you to stay away from these people?!”

You scoff, Scott releasing his hold. “Didn’t realize accepting medical help after what could’ve been a fatal car accident was that big of a deal.” 

“Of course it’s a big deal! Do you have any idea what’s at stake here?!” Scott gets closer to you, face going red and suddenly, it clicks. 

This can’t be your whole future. 

Working for a company that was so clearly hurting others, working a dangerous job when your bosses clearly had no care for your life, or that of any of your colleagues for that matter — you couldn’t do it. 

“Scott, I quit.” You say softly and he reels back as if you might’ve slapped him. “I quit, Scott. I’m not doing this with you anymore. Consider this my notice, effective immediately.” You say, voice gaining confidence. 

Scott scoffs, face getting even redder as Javi mutters out an “Oh shit.” 

“That’s fine by me. You’re replaceable. You were the diversity hire anyways. I don’t want women working for me.” He spits out before turning on his heel, striding towards the StormPar truck. 

You watch him drive away as the Wranglers stand around, watching you. 

“Okay, seriously, can someone drive me to the ER? If my wrist wasn’t broken then, it sure is now.” 

“Oh my God, yeah.” Dani says from behind you, coming to gently maneuver you towards the van. 

The Wranglers disperse, moving to get back into their cars as Javi shouts “Keep me posted!”

-

“Javi, hey, do you think you can drive me to the airport?” You ask, dropping your duffel bag on the ground next to him. He looks up at you as he eats his bagel, nodding. 

“Where you headed?” Tyler asks, rounding the truck. 

You shrug. “Not sure, honestly. Probably Texas for a minute to collect my things and then- who knows.” 

Boone bounds down the stairs as he shouts out, “This is some good shit StormPar!” 

You all turn as he hands the iPad over to Tyler but you already know what he’s looking at. 

Late last night, after Dani had driven you back from the ER and you had insisted you didn’t need anyone to watch over you, you’d grabbed your laptop and opened Twitter. 

Maybe it wasn’t recommended for someone with a low-grade concussion and sprained, not fractured, wrist to stare at your laptop for as long as you had but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as your fingers had flown over the keyboard, releasing everything you’d ever kept bottled up about StormPar. 

The thread had gone viral overnight and you knew it was damaging enough that StormPar may not be able to recover from. 

And if Boone was seeing it now, it was only a matter of time before Scott did. And while you had hoped you could be out of the state of Oklahoma before he did, it turns out you were in no such luck. 

Scott rounds the corner, swearing incoherently as he does, moving and talking much too fast for you to register anything other than “You little bitch!” and his hands on your throat. 

You think you hear Javi shouting, Tyler and Boone up against Scott as they all push him off of you. You stumble backwards, gasping for air as you collide with Kate. You flinch as you do but she puts her hands out, eyes wide as she tries to placate you. 

You blink and look up, Javi talking to you but no words reach your ears as your ass meets the asphalt in a slow fall. You feel dazed at what just happened, touching gently at where Scott had his hands placed. 

You know from experience that he’d had enough pressure, for however short of a time, that it’d leave a mark. 

A choked sob leaves you as you shut your eyes, realizing you’d almost stepped back in time. Same shit, different man, wasn’t that what your friends had said?

A familiar voice reaches your ears, soothing you as it does. “Hey, it’s just me.” She says, and you lean towards her as Dani, tears dripping down your face as you do. 

How many times had Dani found you like this? How many times had she coaxed you from the claws of a panic attack or a flashback or a nightmare? 

Her hand runs down your back in a slow, soothing circle and you can hear her move to sit on the ground next to you as you reach wipe your eyes. You look at her, meaning to talk but no words come out as you study her amber eyes, swimming with concern. 

How could you ever sum it all up?

“We’re all going back to Kate’s for a few days to regroup. I want you to come with us.” She says softly. 

You’re in no position to argue, not now, not when Dani is still looking at you like that. 

Like she might still love you. 

-

Your eyes are wide as Tyler talks through their experiment as you stand over Kate’s makeshift tornado town, Javi walking through what the radars really capture. 

“I have no idea what you just said to me.” You say through a breath, earning a laugh from Dani next to you as she knocks shoulders with you. 

“You never were the one for science stuff.” 

You shake your head. “No! My background isn’t even in meteorology!” 

“What the fuck were you even doing with StormPar then?” Tyler asks, hands falling to his waist as the group looks on. 

“PR shit.” 

“Your background isn’t in that either!” Dani exclaims through another laugh. 

“Yeah, but I’m sure good at using my words. Y’all saw what I could do in just a Twitter thread. Anyways, I was only out there to keep an eye on you.” You say with a nod to Javi. “Riggs knew that with the Wranglers reputation and the right amount of talk from Javi, people could turn on StormPar pretty quickly. I was there to pull their ass out of the fire if they did. Unfortunately for Riggs and StormPar, I ain’t loyal to them. What they hired me for is exactly what’s going to end them.”

“Shit dude.” Lilly mutters as your eyes flicker over the town. 

“I didn’t know this is what you all were doing out there though.” You say with a low whistle. “This is insane. This work could change everything.” 

“What did you think we were doing?” Javi asks as he crosses his arms. You shrug. 

“I dunno. Screwing around maybe. Getting in Scott’s way. I don’t even think Scott knew what you guys were doing out there, just that every time one moment there was a tornado and the next there wasn’t he was pissed.” You sigh. “But it makes sense now. If Kate collapses the tornados, it doesn’t matter if the scans worked or not on our end. If the property’s are saved because you guys got to the tornados before they could do real damage there’s no money for Riggs at the end of the day.”

“Fuck, I hate StormPar.” Boone mutters with a shake of his head. 

You snort. “Me and you both Booney.”

-

Your afternoon cat nap on Kate’s porch swing hadn’t seemed so bad, dozing as the sun warmed your ankles, the sound of the Wranglers puttering around Kate’s farm lulling you to sleep. 

Now though, as the weird dream image of your ex’s face on Scott’s body burns behind your eyelids, you regret that decision. You give another heave, distantly aware you’re throwing up into Cathy’s flowers and distantly you feel awful, but it’s hard to center that when you can’t tell if you’re choking because of someone’s hands around your throat or the acid burning as you dry heave again. 

Tears sting at your eyes as humiliation makes your face burn. You thought you were past this, past the nightmares and the flashbacks, past the need to please men who treated you like dirt. 

And there Dani is again, tugging to pull you up as you sit in the dirt of the garden bed and cry. 

“You’re okay.” She says softly. “You’re safe.”

You’re okay. You’re safe. 

She says it like a mantra, softly repeating the words over and over again as she guides you through the house and up the stairs to the bathroom. Her hands find the edges of your sweatshirt, pausing. 

“Can I?” She asks hesitantly. You can feel your eyes searching you but all you can do shrug, apathetic. 

“Not like it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

And it’s true. As the words leaves your lips, you’re flooded with a million different memories of soft intimacy, a knowledge that you would never had that again. 

This softness right here is wholly Dani. She’s charming and she’s funny, she’s strong-willed and loud mouthed, but she’s kind underneath it all. And you threw it all away because of your fear. 

This softness for you was fleeting. 

In a few days, you would go back to Texas and clear out your apartment. Or maybe you wouldn’t. Maybe you’d go back to Texas and find some shitty bartending job and marry some mediocre man who slept with his secretary on the side-

“Here.” 

So deep into your misery and wallowing, you hadn’t even realized Dani had tugged your vomit-covered sweatshirt off of you, leaving the bathroom to grab a new top. You swallow and take the fabric from her, glancing down at it. 

“This- this is my shirt.” 

The revelation, while should be obvious, confuses the hell out of your muddled brain as you fist the mustard yellow t-shirt. In all honesty, you thought you had just lost the shirt in one of your many, many moves during your college years. But if Dani had this then, that had meant-

A hope alighted in your chest as she glances away, the hope dying as quickly as it came. “Probably time to give it back to you.” 

And oh. Oh okay. 

You swallow thickly, letting the shirt fall to your lap as you move to sit on the edge of the tub. You wipe your eyes with back of your hands, tears stinging as your cheeks flame. 

“Dani, I came out to my parents.” You say quietly. “I know it doesn’t fix it and it doesn’t make you come back but I did.” You shrug, looking up at her. Confusion is written into her amber eyes. “You asked that day at the diner, why I don’t talk to them anymore. That’s why.” 

She lets out a low whistle, crouching down to look you in the eye. “Shit man, they not take it well?” 

“Bout as well as I expected. You know how they were, they were allies except when it came to their own kid.” 

She shakes her head. “Never did understand that.” 

“It fucks with their image.” You say, not unbitter. “Cause then they’re the ones with the weird homosexual kid everyone gossips about.”

“Hey, are you guys okay in here?” Lilly asks, rounding the corner. You realize you’re still shirtless and tug the material over your head as Dani stands. 

“‘M fine. Just- shit from my past.” You breathe out as you stand up. “I’m real sorry about Cathy’s flowers.” 

Lilly waves a hand. “Nah, she says it’s fine, just more worried about you.” She takes a step closer. “You- you are alright, right? Cause that shit with Scott this morning was next level and-“ 

“I’m fine.” You interrupt, stepping past Dani in the small space. “Just needed a minute.” 

You give both of the girls a tight smile, moving past Lilly to head down the stairs to get water, ignoring the way your heart clenches every time the soft fabric of your shirt moves against your skin. 

-

“I need to talk to you.” 

You and Javi both turn. He’s leaned up against the backside of the barn as he talks to you quietly about their research and your work, if somewhere down the road you could see yourself coming back to storm chasing. 

Javi runs a hand through his curls, taking a few steps back towards the house. “I’ll give you two a minute.” 

You glance up at Dani from where you’re sitting on a hay bale, the sky painting itself into a dreamy purple above her. “Hi.” 

She sticks her hands in her pockets, all bravado from a few minutes ago gone. “T says you’re leaving in the morning. That true?” 

You nod. “Figure it’s past time I get out of y’alls way.” 

“You aren’t- you aren’t in the way.” She huffs as you raise an eyebrow, pushing to stand. 

“Storm chasing was always your thing, remember?” You call back as you move to follow Javi. 

“And what if I said I wanted you to stay?” She calls after you as you near the Carter’s back porch. You pause before turning back to face her. She’s hard to read and you let out a breathe. 

“I don’t know why you would.” You say honestly but you can tell it was the wrong thing from the way she flinches. 

“So all that time we spent together, it really meant nothing.” 

“Yeah, but Dani-“ You let out a mix of a sigh and a groan, scrubbing a hand down your face before you putter a few feet forward. “Dani, that was seven years ago. You can’t honestly tell me you haven’t moved on.” 

“Have you?” 

The question, in its nature, is a deflection. She knows it and you know it but it doesn’t stop your words from getting stuck in your throat, freezing as you’re unable to deny it. 

Because you haven’t. You don’t know how you could. How anyone could. 

Dani was the best person you’ve ever known and though she’s grown up a lot in the years since she was yours, you’ve never forgotten that she had always been, forever would be, home to you. 

She sighs, reaching up to rub the back of her neck. “I- I want you to stay.” She says quietly. “I’ve already- sort of- well, T already knows. And- and they all love you and I’ve got an apartment out in Tulsa with Lilly and you could- you could stay there. With us.” 

Your mouth feels dry as you swallow, unsure of what to say to her. A million things pass through, none of them sticking. 

I couldn’t.

Do you know? That I’m still in love with you?

You never stopped meaning something to me? 

Do you mean it?

You finally land on a quiet, “I don’t know how to just be your friend D.”

There’s that quietly confident Dani again as she cocks her head. “You really think I’m saying we’re just friends?” 

You scoff. “It’s been seven years, are you really going to tell me that you’re still-?” 

In love with me?

Because you were. You were still, hopelessly, foolishly, forever the girls in front of you. But she was the one who had left and she was the one who had decided your love wasn’t enough and that she needed to find a new life. 

“Are you?” She challenges and you shake your head in irritation. 

“You don’t get to keep doing that. You first. Answer the question.” She gives you a look, as if to say you really have to ask? which only makes your irritation grow. “That’s not fucking fair Dani. You’re the one who left for storm chasing in Arkansas remember? I would’ve done anything for you, gone anywhere for you. I love you, more than I’ll ever love someone else again.” 

The fact that you say love as in love present tense goes unnoticed by the both of you as Dani gives you an unimpressed look. “Anything except come out of the closet.”

You’re a bit stunned she’s going to go there, knowing how painful of a decision like that had been. What it had cost you. You’d lost Dani but you’d lost everything else too. At the end of it, you’d lost all that she had gained. 

“That’s- that’s not fucking fair.” You say wetly. “That wasn’t your choice to make. And guess fucking what Dani? I did come of the closet. And it didn’t bring you back. But I guess that’s all you care about now huh, public perception, with your fucking one million subscribers.” 

You turn on your heel, furiously wiping away the tears that had surprised you as you storm back up to the house. 

And then, she’s in front of you, swimming in your vision. She reaches out for your wrist, tight enough to keep your from moving but loose enough for you to know that if you really wanted to leave you could. 

“That’s- that ain’t- that’s not what I meant.” She says, breathless. “I meant- I shouldn’t have gone there. I know, I know you sacrificed a lot for me.” She swallows, readjusting her grip on her wrist. “I asked a lot of you, to come out that way and I should’ve listened to you when you said why you didn’t want to. I didn’t- I cost you your family, I know that.” 

“Fuck my family.” You say thickly with a shrug. “But you don’t gotta do this just cause- you feel guilty or something.”

She shakes her head. “I’ve been going about this all wrong, ain’t I?” She blows out a breath, letting you go and taking a step back. 

“Yeah, the truth is I’m- I’m still in love with you. I don’t know how I couldn’t be.” She scrubs a hand over her face. “I never stopped loving you, loved you so much that I asked you to come out even when I knew why you wouldn’t. And I mean- it didn’t take me long after I left to realize what I’d done and I was stupid, kept thinking I’d get some sort of second chance with you. Every day for seven years, it’s followed me, losing you. And then there you were, working for StormPar.” 

She scrubs a hand down her facing, groaning.

“Shit, you- you were right there and yet so out of reach and I thought- thought this might be some sort of punishment for leaving the way I did, for not having an ounce of an empathy for you.” 

“No Dani-“ You go to protest. 

You may have not liked her reasons for breaking up with you, but you understood them, devastating as they were. 

But she keeps going. 

“And then- and then watching your car slide down into that ditch. I thought you were dead. I- I couldn’t believe that I had spent seven years wishing to make things right just to lose the chance to some man who didn’t care about anyone but himself. And then when he put his hands on you- I wanted to fucking kill him.” 

You blink, breath hitching at her words. She finally raises her eyes, a cautious look. 

“I don’t- I don’t want you to leave. Not again. I just got you back.” 

“Dani, I-“ You swallow, something shifting in you. 

And then you do something that shocks you both. 

You match the few steps forward, grasping her shirt, and kiss her. 

To Dani’s credit, she overcomes her surprise well, only letting out a noise before her hands find your belt loops, tight as if you might change your mind, might be the one to leave this time. 

Her kiss is soft, lips chapped against yours, and all of the sudden you realize-

You’re home. 

[slythepuffle]

Another one shot for @dismissivedestroyer’s Dexter Lives AU. Angst was requested and so angst ye shall receive. Plus it’s something that’s already been brewing in my mind. Set during Hollow Sorrows.

TW: Violence against people, Thoughts of Violence, Implied Character Death (If I’m missing anything please let me know)

He didn’t mean to.

That was the one constant thought running through Dexter’s mind as he sat in the front office, looking down at his feet. The principal was talking to his mom, he could hear them through the door, but his racing thoughts drowned out their words. They made him feel like he was underwater, drowning under them while muffling everything else.

He didn’t mean it – Yes he did – He didn’t want to do it – Yes, he did – It was an accident! – NO IT WASN’T– 

The door opened. He flinched, violently, before slowly turning his head. His mother stood there, her expression just… tired, as she looked back at him. Angry, no, furious, no, disappointed, maybe a little. But mostly… just tired.

He stood up quickly, mouth open to say something. “Mom–”

“Let’s go home, Dexter,” she said quietly, and his mouth snapped shut. He nodded quietly, shrinking under her gaze, and grabbed his backpack off the floor. They walked through the front office, Dexter trailing behind his mother, listening to the whispers around the office as they left.

“Did you hear what he did?”

“What an awful boy…”

“His mother should be ashamed of him.”

His shoulders jerked up to his red ears, grinding his teeth together, and digging his nails into his backpack straps. But he didn’t do anything, no matter how much he itched to do something. He was already in enough trouble as it was anyway. He didn’t want to hurt anyone else either.

The whispers lingered, long after they had left the office, now just sitting in the front seat of his mom’s car.

Dexter couldn’t look at her. Couldn’t bear to see her disappointment, her anger, her shame. He heard her sigh, and then – “So, what happened?”

He blinked, turning to look at her. She wasn’t looking at him, staring straight out the window, hands on the steering wheel. “W–What do you mean? D–Didn’t the principal tell you?”

“Yes, he did tell me,” she confirmed, turning to look at him. Again, she didn’t look mad – she should have been – just tired and expectant. “But, I want to hear it from you too. So, Dex, what happened?”

He looked at her, uncertain. What could he tell her? What should he tell her? A lie? Something to make him sound better to her, like what he did wasn’t wrong? His stomach churned at the thought – He couldn’t lie to his mother.

“I–I did hit the kid,” he mumbled, sinking into the seat. “B–But I didn’t mean to hurt him! I swear I didn’t. I was just… upset. He put spiders in my locker.”

That had been the main reason. The kid was a bully, but had gotten away with things before because he was the teacher’s son. Dexter was his main target for a long time already, and this incident just pushed him over the edge.

But there was another reason. One that scared him.

After he first hit the kid, he felt a sudden, almost euphoric rush. It was… pleasing, to see him hurting and crying after what he did. But then, Dexter kept hitting him. He hit him and hit him and hit him, until the kid’s face was bloodied and bruised.

And some sick part of himself had liked it.

Dexter had liked watching him bleed and had especially enjoyed being the one who caused it. But he also hated it. It felt wrong, to see the other kid in tears, covered in his own blood. But he continued to hit him, up until a teacher pulled him away.

It was worse when he was sitting alone in the office, after the initial rush had faded away, leaving him guilty and scared of himself.

What would have happened if the teacher didn’t stop him? How far would he have gone? Would he have hit him even after the kid no longer moved? Until he was covered in the other’s blood, fists bruised by how many times he threw a punch?

Those thoughts made him sick to his stomach. He didn’t want to hurt other people, he really didn’t. He just… did. And he had enjoyed it, in the moment, which made him feel even worse.

Dexter felt himself tear up at the memories and thoughts, turning away from his mother in shame. What would she think of him, if she knew what was going on in his head? Would she still consider him to be her little boy?

Would she hate him?

Michelle looked at her son. He was so grown, almost thirteen now. But, to her, he was still her little boy, the one who she hugged whenever he was cold. She knew that he would never hurt anyone without purpose or a reason, regardless of what other people said. He was always striving to be a good kid, never realizing that he already was one.

Her gaze softened, and she leaned forward, pulling her son into a hug. Dexter flinched, surprised. “M–Mom?”

“What you did was wrong, Dex,” she said firmly, pulling away. She held him by the shoulders, looking him in the eyes. He shrunk under her eyes, but listened as she continued. “Hurting people is wrong, you and I both know that.”

He shrank away, looking away. She smiled, soft and sad, adding, “But, I also know that you didn’t mean to hurt that boy. Despite what everyone else may say, I know that you, Dexter, are a good kid. You make mistakes, like everyone else does, and you learn from them.”

Dexter blinked at her, eyes wide behind his glasses. He hadn’t expected that. He had expected anger, disappointment, frustration. Not… not this. “What if… what if no one else sees it that way? ”

“Even if no one else sees the good in you, I always will. I’ll always love you, for all the flaws that you may have and the mistakes that you make. And I’ll always be there for you, Dex.”

He could feel his eyes watering but he didn’t want to cry. “Promise?”

Michelle smiled at him, soft and loving. “I promise.”

He couldn’t hold them back – Tears welled up in his eyes as his mother pulled him in close, as he buried his face in her shoulder and sobbed. They hugged each other tightly, just sitting there in the school parking lot, crying until his eyes were red and puffy. When they pulled away, he could see her eyes were shiny, even if she was smiling brightly.

“Alright, enough of the waterworks. We’ve cried enough for today. Wanna go get ice cream?”

He rubbed his eyes, shooting her a watery grin. “Heck yeah!”

~~~~

Dexter let out an angry hiss as he pressed a hand to the newly bandaged wound on his side. Shoulda gone to Patty, she was better at this than he was. “Fucking cultists… ”

He had been hanging out with his honorary nephews earlier, walking them around town along with Father Gregor when he had suddenly been called away. Apparently, there was an infestation somewhere away, just on the outskirts of town. Far from his usual route, but nothing too straining. He knew the kids would be safe with the priest, so he left them with promises to hang out later once he was done.

Except, he wasn’t able to do that.

The call was a trap. When he arrived, the house was empty and when he turned around, he was immediately stabbed in the side. Luckily, he reacted quickly, twisting the knife out of his side and returning the favor on the red-robed psycho that jumped him. He kicked the bastard for good measure, then ran like hell out of there back into his truck.

The guy had tried to follow him, more of them emerging from somewhere in the house, but ended up eating the cloud of dust he left behind. Now here he was, sitting in his mom’s bathroom, bandaging up his wounds. He was glad she was out of the house – She would have freaked out when she saw him.

It was weird though. Her appointments usually didn’t take this long…

Suddenly, there was a loud sharp knock, coming from the living room. He peered out of the bathroom door, eyes narrowed behind his glasses. It couldn’t have been his nephews – The last time they were over, Skid had an allergic reaction to all the cat fur. It couldn’t have been his mother either – It’s her house, she would have the keys.

Dexter decided to go check it out, getting up off of the stool. Cats hissed at him where he walked, but he ignored them. It wasn’t worth it to bother them. Then, he opened the door just a crack, peering out of it to see who was outside.

“Father Gregor?” he asked, a bit surprised, before opening up the door more. The priest looked like he had been through hell, with his leg clearly bitten and bloodied. “Father, what happened to you?”

The priest’s expression was grim. “It’s been a long night, Mr. Erotoph. And many terrible things have occurred tonight.”

Dexter was immediately concerned. “Did something happen to the kids?”

Father Gregor frowned, but shook his head. “No, the children are fine. This is… another matter, I’m afraid.”

The priest reached into his pocket, pulling out something with a golden chain. He looked on, confused, as the man offered it to him. Dexter took it, feeling something round in his hands, and looked down at it. His heart dropped.

It was his mother’s locket, the one that held a picture of him. He ran his thumb around the edge, popping open it just to confirm. Once he did, he looked up at the priest. “Wh-Where did you get this?”

Father Gregor inhaled, standing up straight. “I am sorry that I have to be the one to inform you, Mr. Erotoph. But your mother… was in an accident, at the hospital. One of the staff had been possessed by a demon and she hadn’t known.”

The Father was speaking still, but Dexter couldn’t hear him. He was staring back down at the locket, static filtering out the words, growing louder and louder–

“I–I need a moment,” he interrupted, voice cracking. He knew it was rude, but he just– just– “Please.”

Father Gregor seemed to understand, nodding his head. “My doors are always open for you, Dexter.”

The man limped away, and Dexter shut the door, leaning against it. Now alone, his thoughts rushed forward, flooding his mind. Drowning out everything else–

She’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s gone she’s never coming back you’ll never see her again she’s never going to come home she’s never going to be able to hold you again she’s dead–

“Even if no one else sees the good in you, I always will. I’ll always love you, for all the flaws that you may have and the mistakes that you make. And I’ll always be there for you, Dex.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Dexter let out a strangled sob, clutched the locket hard to his chest, and dropped down to his knees.

She was gone.

[bunnygirl678]

I keep thinking about a role reversal au for pokespe, like I’ve outlined a fic and write on it when I feel like

But Gold being the one taken by the masked man, Blue not getting attached to him like she did Silver so when she escaped he got left behind. He has Aibo but that’s it.

Silver growing up with his gym leader daddy, a totally normalish life, probably overprotective if there had been an attempted kidnapping, there is no team rocket, just spoiled baby boy with his sneasel.

and maybe he goes to Johto because daddy set him up to fill out the Johto dex, and gold escaped from the mm at like 11, but instead of revenge or finding out his past he just wants to live free, but he sees Silver be given totadile and then how upset cyndaquil is so he takes exbo just to reunite the pair,

But silver who has been sheltered and doesn’t have a lot of friends sees how exbo already loves this boy and decides to invite him to help fill out the dex, silver gets picked up by a car service every afternoon and brought to his nice home, gold always meets up with him in the mornings at a prearranged spot.

So the two of them wander around Johto becoming bffs catching pokemon, somehow it comes out that Gold lives where ever, so sometimes trees, sometimes alleys, his clothes are ratty, Silver starts bringing him lunch, brings him a Viridian city gym promotional blanket (remember there is no tr so Gio is still gym leader)

A snow storm moves in and silver is freaking out, where are you staying this is dangerous, ect, gold is like idk I’ll figure it out, no worries, when silver’s ride comes he grabs gold and pulls him into the car, he’s like I can’t let you freeze to death

Silver shows up at home brining along this dirty very homeless looking boy, Giovanni is like omg wtf ew, I don’t want this street rat around my perfect baby boy, but again, blizzard, and he can’t/wont just leave him out in the cold

Gold has a hot shower, wears some of silvers clothes cause his are dirty and falling apart (and not weather appropriate poor cold baby), he has dinner with Gio and silver, Gio is polite but gold knows what he thinks, he likes hanging with silver so he ignores the judgement

Gio puts gold in a guest room as far from silvers room as he can, everyone goes to bed, due to his terrible childhood, Gold is prone to nightmares, of course he lives wherever so he has always only had himself and Aibo for comfort, he has a nightmare, wakes up crying into Aibo’s fur as his Pokemon tries to comfort him, he’s too far from Silver for him to hear buttttt sneasel hears, goes down the hall and grabs gold and Aibo and guides them to Silver’s room, the boys end up cuddling, after silver wakes up and is like omg what’s wrong

Gio goes to wake silver up and finds the dirty boy curled up with his son, he’s pissed off but again there isn’t much he can do, he ends up moving an extra bed into silvers room but again each morning gold is curled up with silver

silver starts asking about the nightmares, gold notices he doesn’t get them when he sleeps in the same bed as silver, they’re like 11 here so it is innocent just two kids cuddling and being friends, gold finally admits his past, being a child soldier, doesn’t go into the details but it’s obvious it was bad, silver is like omg we need to tell my dad! And gold is like no! He’s scared if they tell an adult somehow he’d be returned to the mm

The storm ends, silver insists that gold continues staying with them, Gio hates it but silver is spoiled af so he gets his way, it’s fine Gio makes comments about gold a lot, subtle digs (ha cause he is a ground type gym leader lmao) gold knows but ignores them, he’s used to it. Knows how people see him

He’s a smart ass and one time he gets himself and silver into trouble, except it was actually golds fault, there was a sign with warnings or something, it comes out that he never learned how to read, thinks silver will judge him, but he’s really kind about it, really cautious about ect

One day when they’re out filling the dex silver just caught a shiny gyarados, the masked man shows up, he’s like oh boy, I’m taking you back, I spent 9 years training you, you think you can leave that easy, then he notices silver, gets excited, I actually wanted you but my attempt was ruined, so I settled for that little brat, he was never that great anyway, but at least I’ve got a gym leaders son now,

Gold is like, ‘hell no you aren’t taking him, do what you want with me but you aren’t going to hurt my friend’ gold uses his new pokemon, fights hard, tells silver to run, tries to buy him time,

Silver doesn’t leave, instead calling his dad in a panic, tells him everything happening and a quick recap, Silver waits for his dad, wants to go back to help gold but gold flipped out begging him to run,

Giovanni arrives in time to see Gold being flung into a tree, he hears MM mention him being a terrible soldier, wasted his time, ect, says he’s going to take silver, gold staggers up, barely standing but says that he won’t let silver be taken, he’d rather die, mm says something about if that’s your wish, gold gets thrown into the lake of rage, as he’s falling he sees Gio, smiles as he sinks his last thought is he’s glad silver will be safe then darkness

Gio fights mm, ends up beating him, cops come, all the while as gold was sinking silver sent out his new gyarados who dives down pulling gold out. Silver tries to do cpr then an ambulance comes they try to ignore gold to help silver who has like a tiny cut,

Silver is just like no save him! They end up taking gold to the hospital, Gio takes silver to get looked at, cops end up finding out about all the kidnappings there were some bodies too (making this darker than canon lol) they go talk to Gio, silver is sitting with gold in his room, trying to help him feel better,

Gio feels like shit cause omg this poor kid and I was an asshole to him, asks cops what is going to happen to gold, is he going to a foster home? Cops are like no, unfortunately there isn’t space, kid is going to stay on the streets, goes in and tells gold he’s going to live with them now

Gold thinks he said it just to appease silver, when they leave to go home, gold is sure he will never get to see silver again, in the morning they don’t show up like promised and gold is just like, well at least I got to have a friend for a while, I’ll cherish it forever, cop comes and is super rude to him but gets his statement, gold has really high anxiety without his pokemon especially Aibo, they’re in a daycare while he’s in hospital and he is not sure how to pay to get them out, he doesn’t have money, let alone pay for the hospital

Mid afternoon the door opens, he assumes it’s the doc about to kick him out realizing he was just street trash, instead it’s silver and Gio, Gio apologizes for being late, cops wanted statements from both of them, he hands gold a bag with a stuffed version of his team, you can’t have them in your room but these guys may help you feel less lonely when visiting hours are over, it’s the first stuffie gold has ever had,

A day or two passed and he gets released, still not convinced he’s going home with Gio, but he does! And suddenly it’s spoil time, like gold has a broken foot, but he’s put in a comfy spot, gets lots of treats, his team with him, silver hangs out, finally feels like he has a home,

Time passes, Gio decides to raise them like brothers, gold gets tutors to help him learn to read and math and stuff, him and Gio end up really close, gold gets into sports with Gio being his coach, silver is happy, he’s training to take over his fathers gym, Gio sets gold up to have a daycare, thinks of him as a son

Gold and silver are besties, at least until they hit puberty, they shift into dating without ever talking about it, one day they’re cuddling like always the next minute they decide to try kissing, nothing changes except now they kiss lol,

They decided to get married really early like 18, it’s fine, gold doesn’t ever really talk about his childhood, they know things were bad but not to the extent, one day gold is walking in the living room holding a glass of water, he trips, glass shatters and he lands on the floor, Giovanni gets up to help him, but all of a sudden gold is in a ball crying begging for Aibo not to be taken away again. Totally inconsolable, silver comes running and they are both like ??

After that they get gold to start letting it out, telling them the things that happened, getting beaten, forced to train till he collapsed, having Aibo taken away as punishment, ect

He has a few more episodes through the years but for the most part he’s happy

Him and silver never split, die of old age ect ect

Idk if anyone is still reading but this is what has been spinning around in my head lately lol