#Who wants to talk about her final moments and how fucking. Idk if it hit other ppl as hard but damn.

[trans-leek-cookie]

im going to be honest. Curly and Jimmy shipping beyond any like. Moral or whatever bullshit. It's fucking boring.

Wowwww the abusive man uses his power over another man- specifically Mainly when he's freshly injured and heavily disabled and reliant on the people around him for survival- to abuse him?!?! This is crazy. Unheard of, even. A disabled person being abused, now THATS interesting!!! It's like there isn't even a whole woman in the game

[chenlezip]

tell your friends ♡

PAIRING : fratboy!haechan x reader

SUMMARY : you tell your friends you hate him but you can't get enough.

WARNINGS : smoker!reader + smoker!hyuck (my baddd), swearing, not proof read.. idk what else ngl.. >_<

A/N : literally just got this idea because im listening to music while writing and.. chase atlantic came on, heard that line and thought, hell yeah i know what i'm gonna write. also lil smau? idk? im also really craving a sex on the beach now.. *lets out a heavy sigh* beggars can’t be choosers..

might make a part two, who knows? let me know :3 i just wanted to post this and see how it goes .

and… here you are, stood outside a random club waiting for your friends to come meet you. you were clad in a cute jean mini skirt, a bralette with a small cardigan on and knee high boots; obviously paired with cute accessories and having your hair done nicely, what if you saw a cute boy? you had to be prepared.

as you waited, you had a look at all the people who were heading inside, they were dressed just as good. i guess this club is where all the attractive people go, huh? you thought to yourself before you noticed one man who looked oddly very familiar. fuck, it’s haechan.

haechan noticed you out the corner of his eye as he waited outside with a friend, smirking and nudging the boy beside him, eyeing your direction. the boy looked over and noticed you, he looked stunned almost, immediately turning back around to haechan and whispering. you wondered what they were talking about but before you could go over, you heard karina screaming your name.

“y/n! oh my god!” she smiled as she ran toward you, engulfing you into a tight hug. it’s been a while since you’ve all seen each other so it was nice to finally get to hang with your girls again. “i’ve missed you guys so much, ugh.. you all look so good!”

“as do you!! i can’t wait to get fucked up tonight, i’ve already pre booked a taxi so do nottt worry~ i’ve got us covered, it’ll be coming 2am so we should leave early just to make sure we get it alright,” giselle explained to you all as you nodded in return, “i can give you some money toward it when i’m not wasted - just let me know, okay?” you smile as she shook her head.

“no need y/n, it’s my treat, come on!” giselle dragged you and the girls inside, sitting in a booth and scouring through the drinks menu. “i don’t know what to get.. everything sounds good,” ningning mumbled as she looked at the rest of you, “anyone know what they’re getting?”

“i’m just gonna get a sex on the beach - always my go to,” you spoke up as you waited for the others to be done deciding. once you all were, you ordered and had them delivered to the table, thanking the waiter who brought them over.

──── ୨୧ ────

you excuse yourself from the girls for a moment, wanting some fresh air and to light up a cigarette. you were dying for one and the alcohol in your system wasn’t helping your case either. as soon as you stepped out the club, you felt the night air hitting you and you let out a soft sigh. the wind made you feel a little bit more sober. you spark up a cig and place it between your lips, inhaling and breathing in the smoke. oh, how you missed this.

“got a spare?” you recognise that voice from anywhere. you gaze up and see haechan standing just opposite you, a lazy grin on his face as he stared you up and down. you just give him the one you were just smoking and spark up another. “thanks.” he says as he leans against the wall beside you.

“no problem,” you respond coldly as you look away, trying to find anything other than him to look at but you can’t help your eyes from wandering back.. he looked good tonight. his floppy brown hair was slicked back nearly, his golden skin glistening under the street light that was outside the club, a leather jacket and his white shirt adorning his body. you swore to yourself the last time you saw haechan that you still hated him.. but he knows otherwise and deep inside, so do you.

“still claiming you hate me then?” he eyed you, turning to lean on his shoulder now. you cough, “what?” you didn’t expect him to ask you that out of the blue. “you tell your friends you hate me but i know you can’t get enough, y/n, you’re not very secretive with it, huh?” he blew smoke out into the air. you focused on the way his lips parted a little, his jaw.. his adam’s apple.

you shake your head, “you’re seeing things lee donghyuck, maybe you should see someone for these delusions?” he just laughed in your face and threw his (your) cigarette to the ground, “yeah.. maybe i should, huh? but i won’t if you come crawling back again tonight,” he says before stepping on it to put it out properly and walking back inside the club. you go on your phone after he’s left and quickly type something on twitter, posting it to your private account.

you decide to head back inside and you just can’t seem to get your mind off of him, your eyes wandering around the club to find him. you see he’s got a pretty girl slung around him, she’s pressing her body up against him. never mind, you definitely hate him, why were you even starting to like a frat boy anyway? hello?

[darealsaltysam]

I JUST GOT BACK FROM SEEING DUNE PART 2 AND HOLY FUCK OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HOLY FUUUUCK I NEED TO. I NEED TO. I NEED TO TALK SO BAD HOLY SHIT

below the cut because oh boy do i have a lot to say and i dont want my poor followers to suffer when i post this

oh my god okay okay where do i even start

opening with irulan's narration to mirror her notes in the openings of the chapters of the book. oh yeah baby. i ate that right up

watching paul get close with the fremen,,,,, fucking hell that hurts. dune really is a tragedy at the end of the day huh. they go from reluctant allies to friends but the whole time you know the switch will happen any moment now and they will be devotees and he will be messiah and that gap between them will never be as small as it is out in the sand. huddled in those tents. sharing drinks and laughs. im not doing ok

this especially hurts with chani. their love is so genuine and pure and she wears blue for him (which by the way sticks out so much more with how muted the colors of the rest of the movie are... i could talk about this all day) but she can see what he is becoming and he's trying to avoid it for her so hard but there's no avoiding fate. LORD ABOVE!!!!

i loveeee jessica being the manipulator thats pulling all the strings, urging paul towards becoming messiah. rebecca ferguson is such a talented actress she really understands the character so well. also as a hashtag certified alia atreides enjoyer her scheming with her unborn fetus might be the most unhinged thing ever but thats also so fucking funny aka its as dune as it gets. dune is WEIRD and im glad theyre not shying away from that. thank u denis

arrakis looks so much more beautiful in this movie like theres defo been some changes with how its framed and presented it feels so much grander and idk just ??? what it makes me think is that we're not seeing arrakis, we're finally seeing dune. we're seeing the land as the fremen see it as paul becomes one of them. i might be looking too much into it but who cares. god i love this movie

but yes more on the fremen in the first section of the movie. i like how there's this cluster of non-believers almost?? its a nice breath of fresh air. its hard to believe every single person would be just devoted to the prophecy and it adds some depth.

i will say the one thing i didnt like is the way stilgar is characterized?? i dont think he was so blindly devoted to paul in the books, and definitely not alia and leto ii after him as the atreides line went on. he's always been a source of small doubt towards paul but i think they're moving that element of him onto chani, so i think i can let it slide. i'd like to see him question alia more in the future though.

the scene where paul was named muad'dib and usul??? god it was so cute which made it so heart wrenching. all the fremen coming together and welcoming him into their lives. as a brother. as a friend. only for him to turn around and make them all bow before him. ohhhhh i cant do this

OH BOY THE WORMS THE WORMS AND THE WORM RIDING AND THE AHHHHHHHHH OH LORD

jesus christ. what the fuck. how is this allowed on cinema screens how is something so amazing allowed

the tension. the effects. the sound design. the sand rushing past the wind the worm moving forward paul struggling to hold on the fremen all watching and then cheering him on HOLY FUCKKKK HOLY FUCK I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH

all the worm riding scenes were so intense and so well done like. when i first read that stuff in the books i didnt think anything could ever capture how i imagined it exactly and yet. AND YET. DENIS!!!!!!!!

once more dune hits the idea of scale SO well everything is HUGE and they MAKE YOU FEEL IT. that shows especially with geidi prime but ill talk about that in a bit. but yes this applies to the worms too lord above them WORMSSSS ARE HUGEEEE AND I LOVE THEMMMM

rebecca ferguson put her heart and soul into that water of life scene and we all need to thank her for it

the way jessica is so quick to switch up and go all in on the prophecy. it makes me think of leto's "im not asking his mother, im asking the bene gesserit" like. the bene gesserit really come first for jessica and she takes her opportunity to fulfill her duties. to be the reverend mother. to rub it all in the faces of the other bene gesserit. she is the mother of the messiah and by god will she make everyone well aware of that

okay. okay okay. i think i said my peace on the early fremen stuff. i think. okay fuck okay SHIT fuck SHIT

FEYD FUCKING RAUTHA LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

oh my god okay. okay ill admit it. i doubted austin butler. i saw the cast list and i was unsure(tm). i saw him in the trailers and my faith was restored. and holy fucking shit did he DELIVER

stellan skarsgård's baron harkonnen is already such a threatening figure it feels like it would be impossible to make someone even more terrifying and yet. AND YET

just the way he's introduced. killing servants with zero remorse. LICKING THAT KNIFE THE WAY HE DID??? OKAY WHORE. I SEE YOU. GO RIGHT AHEAD. MAKE IT SLUTTY IN HOUSE HARKONNEN. I RESPECT IT

when the arena doors open and that loud ass fucking music BOOMS. makes the room fucking SHAKE. thats a PRESENCE right there. THATS how you introduce your antagonist.

the music playing as he fights being as fucking deranged as he is. chaotic and weird and unsettling. just. oh my god feyd had such a presence from the moment he showed up and he did not lose it for a single second. you could feel him LOOMING over the movie the whole time just as he looms over the whole book from his very first scene. oh my goddddd oh my godd

GEIDI PRIME. THE ARENA. THAT MASSIVE HARKONNEN PALACE. oh my god. once more. that sense of scale. the harkonnens love to flaunt their wealth so ofc they have huge fuck off arenas and castles where everything and everyone feels so SMALL in comparison.

dont even get me started on the black and white. the way it accents those coal black teeth and mouths. the way it makes everything look so much more inhuman and clinical and PERFECT because harkonnen power is so absolute and ruthless.

and the way the baron sits so so high above watching the fighting. literally impossible to picture his elevation above his people above the rest of the universe. the way feyd looks to him for approval after every movement. even as his uncle is trying to kill him they exchange those little looks and feyd knows hes getting his chance to show off while the baron gives him his "gift" what a fucked up family what the hell

speaking of fucked up family! wow! they are SO fucked up! there is something seriously strange being hinted at with feyd and the baron! feyd making his own brother bow and kiss his boot! those constant threats of death against rabban as if theyre nothing! this family is capital f FUCKED up. they hurt each other as much as they hurt everyone around them. theyre made of violence and blood and they could never show each other kindness because they dont know such a thing

what can i say about the feyd/margot scenes that hasnt been said already. like wow just unpack the boy's trauma like that. use him and then throw him to the wolves. once again the bene gesserit make it so clear this is THEIR empire and THEIR bloodlines and THEIR messiah. too bad jessica doesnt see that collective "ours" and instead settles for "mine" when it comes to the messiah

special shout out to dave bautista before i move on. just cause. his rabban doesnt get enough love. he really sells that balance of ruthless power but also incompetency compared to his brother so well. can you guys tell i REALLY like this cast

WE ACTUALLY GOT TO SEE GURNEY PLAYING THE BALISET WE FUCKING WIN Y'ALL

the paul/gurney reunion being the last shred of the old paul. how he gets so happy "i recognized your footsteps, old man" shoot me in the fucking brain stem it would HURT LESS

a bit off topic and it happened earlier (sorry my thoughts are so all over the place) but i like how they actually showed the process of how the water of life is made. it was actually exactly like how i imagined it when i read the books so thats neat !!

anyway. back to the horrors.

i already talked so much about feyd's presence so just another small note. that scene in sietch tabr. he is a MONSTER and i am EATING IT UP

i cant even begin to explain. how much it fucked me up. when paul took the water of life. i knew thats where we were going. i knew it was unavoidable. and yet still. when chani bent over him and screamed at everyone for making him follow this prophecy. when she was forced to shed tears to save his life. when she got him back only to realize she lost him and he wasnt the person she loved anymore. it broke me

chani's utter hatred for the prophecy and what paul is becoming added to it so much. i know some people are unhappy with how much shes been changed from the books but i think its elevated her character and all these scenes so much. and oh my god does zendaya DELIVER when the spotlight is on her. i never doubted her for a moment but all those changes to chani really allowed to let her shine. thats that euphoria acting coming out baby !!!!

SPEAKING OF GOOD ACTING

TIMOTHEE

FUCKING

CHALAMET

listen i hate the fact that he gets cast in everything these days as much as everyone but hes such a talented actor and i cant deny this anymore. the water of life scene really sold it for me.

he was such a perfect paul already in the first movie but this was the moment it really came out. the way he wakes up so calm and collected. lifeless. monotone. theres nothing theres literally nothing

paul atreides the boy who became duke far too young is dead usul who was the lover of chani is dead muad'dib the fedaykin fighter is dead only the kwisatz haderach remains and thats what the prophecy was always leading us to and yet the moment it happens its so haunting

like i cannot say this enough. that complete switch is so sudden but so subtle at the same time. its still paul technically but hes so different

what makes dune's weird concepts so easy to take in once you get into the book is all that internal monologue that really leads you through these complex concepts slowly. and yet in a few shots and a few lines of dialogue timothee chalamet somehow manages to express the idea of "i just learned the secrets of the fucking universe and im about to start a holy war" ???? HOW DO YOU EVEN DO THIS???? HOW ARE YOU THIS TALENTED???? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! IT WAS A FEW LOOKS A FEW MOVENTS JUST THE RIGHT TONE OF VOICE AND THATS HIM!!! THATS HIM BABY!!!! THATS THE KWISATZ HADERACH AND THE UNIVERSE IS FUCKED !!!!!!!!!

also. anya taylor joy alia. we only had you for a split second but i cannot wait for you. im sure youre going to completely slay the third movie. give us our beloved tragic meow meow. alia is my fave character so i will be JUDGING HEAVILY. she better bring her a-game istg

when paul storms the war council and just completely takes control of the room so easily. thats the bene gesserit conditioning giving him his pedestal and he is making the most of it. he knows exactly what the fuck hes doing. and once more oh my goddddd all that shouting all that emotion and yet a complete lack of it. timothee spare a crumb of talent for the rest of us

also the way in that scene gurney is hesitant about it all until paul proclaims himself the duke of arrakis. and suddenly gurney has house atreides again and he doesnt care what chani does anymore. hes a follower to paul just as everyone else in that room. nothing changes. fuck me man i cant do this anymore

have i mentioned yet im so excited for chani in the next movie. her arc is so interesting. children of dune is defo not happening with the way chani has been set up so i doubt we'll see leto ii and ghanima but. lets hope we still get all the cool stuff wit alia at least. and maybe chani can be the one who leads the charge against her

okay i need to really fucking. get along with it im dragging this post on im so sorry this movie is eating my brain alive

chani still wearing blue during the final fight. im not saying more than that i might cry if i think about it too much

THAT. FINAL. FIGHT. OH MY GODDD OH MY GOD

IT ALL CAME TOGETHER SO SO WELL

THE WORMS

THE SENSE OF SCALE

THE FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY

THE MUSIC HOLY FUCK THE MUSIC HANS ZIMMER YOU OUTDO YOURSELF EVERY TIME

THE SOUND

EVERYTHING FLOWING TOGETHER SO WELL

the way the fremen fight for their messiah but still fly the atreides banner. the way paul leads them as their messiah and as a "fremen" but always proclaims himself duke of house atreides first. oh lorddd im unwell

every time paul menacingly emerged from fog/sand/smoke my life was extended by like 10 years thank u denis

gurney killing rabban with as much ease as he did cleared my skin and watered my crops <3

the way the baron was literally dying and still crawling towards the throne.......... the way at the same time feyd ignored him completely and looked towards the doors reveling in the fight ahead..... if that doesnt tell u everything you need to know about house harkonnen idk what will yall

i also love how no one intervenes as paul walks in and kills the baron. not even feyd. feyd looks like he was a little TOO into it as paul killed him tbh. feyd u little freak. austin butler you talented talented man. im unwell

i AM sad we didnt get to see baby alia stab him but ah well. we got a bunch of other weird dune shit so ill let this one slide. the psychic toddler may be too much even for denis and everything he did give us. we'll always have our 1984 alia <3

OHOHOHOHOHOHOH. OH. HERE WE GO

HERE WE GO YALL

THE SCENE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE READING THE BOOK

THE SCENE THEY SHOWED BITS OF IN THE TRAILER AND THE SCENE IVE BEEN NON STOP YEARNING FOR SINCE!!!

THE DUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd where do i even start

okay so. the way theres no music. no fancy cuts no slow mo no over the top effects. its just the slashing of the blades and those BEAUTIFUL shadowed shots with the setting sun in the background. this really is the sun setting on the peaceful universe. just pain and suffering ahead marked with the blood spilled from the two who were meant to produce the messiah but who both got thrown off this path by the greed and selfishness of their forefathers. guys im normal about paul and feyd. definitely. i definitely have very normal thoughts about how they are foils and yet two sides of the same coin. yes guys

paul making the emperor kiss his ring is already such an insane fucking scene and it translated to the screen so well. amazing performances all around

i didnt talk much about florence pugh's irulan but she really didnt have much time to shine. im excited to see where she goes next and i definitely think shes a great fit but i need to see more of her to really be able to say more

i will say this. the way chani, irulan and jessica are the only ones who dont kneel for paul. the three most important women in his life who give him his power, everything he has. jessica made him and she made him the messiah. chani opened her life up to him, helped him become and in turn control the fremen, and she shed her tears for him and fulfilled her role in the prophecy against her wishes. irulan is his path to the throne, his key to being emperor. and none of them bow before him because why would they bow before a power they are responsible for, a power they own, a power they gave?

but for chani its different ofc. she also refuses to bow because she despises everything paul stands for.

oh my god i could say so much about the last scene being chani. not paul reveling in his victory. paul leaves for his next bloodshed and chani is left behind crying for the person she loves who she knows is gone. crying for her people, again enslaved. crying those same tears that brought the messiah back into this world.

theres a lot to be said about the role of gender in dune and how it hangs over every facet of this world but thats a whole separate analysis post to be had so ill just throw it down here in this little point

another thing chani does very well in the movies is she really makes paul's villainy explicitly clear. SO many people read dune and completely misunderstand it and walk away from it concluding its a "white savior narrative" and nothing more which. yes!! yes it is!!!! but thats not a good thing!!!! its never stated to be a good thing!!!!

this movie is not gonna let you misunderstand the message of the story no matter how blind you try to be to it. paul is not a good guy. hes never been the good guy. hes the protagonist, but hes not the hero. and chani allows that to translate from book to movie very well. have i mentioned yet i love movie chani

chani fills in the holes left behind by the narration and internal monologues of the book and, bonus points, she holds the people who dont understand what dune is about by the hand and tells them explicitly "PAUL IS A BAD GUY!!! DONT IDOLIZE PAUL!!!! DONT WALK AWAY FROM DUNE THINKING ITS PRAISING PAUL'S ACTIONS!!!"

i think thats pretty much all i had to say. i might reblog with additions as they hit me but yeah i. i enjoyed the movie. so so much. i think i might watch it again sometime soon while its still in cinemas.

sorry for being unhinged hope u enjoyed my rants. kiss kiss night night <3

[vanillawurld]

༊*·˚A Glimpse

✧.* Request- Anonymous

"Fuck it write anything with like joost angst idk have it be like “glimpse of us by joji” type of vibe"

✧.* Pair - Joost Klein x Fem! Reader

✧.* Tags & Warnings - Angst, cheating, making out, kind of a hot moment(?), cussing.

✧.* Summary - Joost finally being able to talk to (Y/N), 'the one who got away', his 'lover' at a small house party but forgets he has his girl with him.

✧.* Extra- I love writing angst yall. The reader is implied to be Latina with a tanner/browner/darker complexion along with dark hair. I needed her to connect to something specificallyLOL

✧.* Word Count - 3,016

From the outside, Joost and his girlfriend, Andrea, appeared to be the happiest couple in the solar system. She is always treated like a princess by him. Takes her wherever she pleases, buys her whatever she wants, and treats her like she's the only girl in the world. They treat each other in a way that makes them seem like the ideal couple. All of that can only be seen from the outside from people who don't know Joost at all.

What really takes a turn is Joost's intentions. The intentions his friends are aware about and the fact that they know more about his relationship. They know the messed up reasoning on why Joost was with Andrea in the first place. They always implied to Joost about what he was doing was fucked, but Joost just pretended he didn't know what they were talking about. He was avoiding his pain and sadness with delusions and manipulations to himself.

The only reason Joost was with Andrea was because she resembled someone from his past that he couldn't let go of. She was like a carbon copy of a woman named (Y/N). (Y/N) was the woman who Joost was convinced he was going to marry. He wanted a life with her and actually envisioned himself having a family with her. He was a sucker for her. It was all perfect until his focus on work and music drifted him apart. He walked away from her and that was his biggest mistake ever.

When he realized (Y/N) was gone, Andrea entered his life. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on. He was allured by her beauty. She had beautiful dark hair, soft skin that went along with gold, plush lips that complimented her brown lipliner, and a smile he could recognize from a mile away. All beautiful features, just like the ones (Y/N) had.

The day Joost introduced Andrea to his friends, the atmosphere got thick and uncomfortable. They all looked at each other and immediately got the same thought in their head. Some even thought Joost and (Y/N) got back together because of how similar Andrea and (Y/N) looked. When Joost got confronted about dating Andrea, Joost pretended like his friend was speaking gibberish and to never say Andrea was similar to his ex. They all knew Joost was living a lie.

Joost always lied to himself about Andrea, but deep down, he knew what he was doing. He knew why he got with her in the first place and he hated it. Andre treated him like he was royalty. She was hitting all the right spots for Joost, except for one particular spot; she wasn't her. Andrea wasn't (Y/N) and will never be. There would be moments he would look at Andrea in a mirror and for a split second, see (Y/N). Every time he would look into her eyes, he would see (Y/N). Joost hated the fact he was living a lie but he was already too deep into his internal mess. Andrea had already fallen for him, the way he fell for (Y/N).

Joost and his girl were invited to a house party hosted by his cousin's friends. It was just a regular party, with the typical items that involved parties. Booze, music, people. Joost went to purely have fun with his girl by his side. It had been a while since he went out to party. As soon as Joost walked in, everything he had to worry about was tossed out the window.

Joost was laughing up a storm with his friends. Drinking weak shots, and singing along to whatever Dutch songs they were playing. But they weren't just playing Dutch music, they were playing a whole genre of different types of music. American Western music like hip-hop, blues, r&B. Latin-American music like bachata, reggaeton, merengue. But for some reason, Joost felt like they were playing more Latin-American songs, the genre (Y/N) always loved to play. Joost always listened to different Latino genres with (Y/N) because she loved it. He didn't understand what they were saying in the songs, but he loved watching her sing them.

The intro key to a bachata song started playing, pulling Joost out of his thoughts and pulling him into nostalgia. He heard the creator of the song sing his notes and bring in more nostalgic emotions. It was one of the songs (Y/N) would always play. As the man sang the song, Joost swore he heard (Y/N)'s voice sing along. His heart's rate started slowly growing faster. He looked around to see if he could catch her but had no luck.

He heard the woman next to him break him away from his thoughts and 'search', "Babe, are you okay?" Joost looked to his right and saw Andrea casually looking at him. He gave her a nod and decided to take another shot. The alcohol in the shots were weak, but since Joost felt like he was slowly losing his mind, the shots felt like they were getting to him. He felt like he needed to splash his face to fully pull him away from his lingering thoughts.

He got up from his seat, "I- uh, have to go to the bathroom." He quickly walked away without even letting Andrea say a quick 'okay.' Part of him was hoping to see (Y/N) and was even looking around while he was walking towards the restroom. The other part of him prayed he didn't run into (Y/N) in fear of breaking down in front of her. In his head, he wanted her to see he was doing "better" so she could develop strong feelings and try to win him back. He was delusional.

When he made it to the bathroom, he splashed water on his face and looked at himself in the mirror. His blue ocean-like eyes stared right back at him, trying to send him a message. He kept still for a few seconds until he heard a muffled voice from outside, "(Y/N), where are you going?" his heart started to increase again. A small voice in his head prayed that someone said another name instead of hers. He turned to the door and prepared himself to walk back outside, praying to not bump into (Y/N) but hoping he does.

When he opened the door, he was immediately hit by (Y/N)'s signature scent. That made his heart go even faster. His brain told him to ignore it and go back to Andrea, but his heart, his poor desperate heart, told him to find her. His constant battles between his heart and brain, but at the end of the day, he always followed his heart.

The house was a two-bedroom home, so he had quite a few rooms to check. Some had people making out, some giving blow jobs, some crying over an ex. It was a lot. It was like his heart knew where she was since it was beating faster each door he approached. Finally, one of the last rooms contained the woman he secretly yearned for months, almost years. He peeked inside to see her sitting, legs crossed, on the phone, talking to someone. His heart and brain were still fighting. His brain kept telling him to close the door, leave her alone, and go back to his girlfriend, but his heart told him to talk to her. His heart always won.

He slowly opened the door, to reveal himself. (Y/N) looked up and froze. They both stared at each other, (Y/N) with wide eyes and Joost with desperate eyes. "I- uhh... I have to call you back," she said while putting down the phone.

(Y/N) took a deep breath and looked up. She wanted to cry, but didn't want to in front of Joost. She didn't want to show her weak side in front of a well known stranger. She looked back at Joost and gave him a weak smile. She hadn't seen his face in a while. She missed his handsome structure, blue eyes, stylish mustache she always loved.

Joost was on the verge of falling to his knees. He needed to leave but he didn't want to. He wanted to hear her voice again, but he knew if he did, he would fall back into her eternal love that he never wanted to leave. "I'm sorry, wrong room. I was looking for.. a friend," he weakly said.

As he turned around, he heard her voice, "You're lying." That was one thing (Y/N) was good at, looking through people. It was both a blessing and a curse. He turned back around and looked her back in the eyes.

"You're still good at detecting lies," He said. He watched as (Y/N) giggled at his comment. His heart smiled, he missed her little laughs.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey," he said back.

There was a moment of silence between them. They kept staring at each other, smiling. (Y/N) looked at the spot next to her and scooched over, patting the spot next to her, indicating him to sit next to her. He happily obliged, closing the door behind him, and sat next to her. There he finally smelled her scent, he missed her. They continued looking at each other in silence, until Joost broke the silence, "So, how have you been?"

"I've been good, been building my life back up," she replied. That made Joost want to ask her more, but didn't want to invade her privacy. "What about you? You got a girlfriend?" she jokingly asked, but Joost thought she was being serious.

"I... I don't" he lied and (Y/N) knew this.

She frowned at his answer, "Don't lie to me. You do have a girlfriend," she passive-aggressively said.

"Then why did you ask me if you knew?"

"I asked that as a joke... and to see if you were going to answer honestly,"

There was a hard silence between them before (Y/N) broke it, "Why did you lie?"

Joost looked her in the eyes and started tearing up, "Because I miss you." That was his heart talking. He knew what he was doing was wrong. Emotionally cheating on Andrea with the love of his life. He felt a bit of guilt but at the same time it felt right.

(Y/N) would be lying if she said she didn't miss him at all. (Y/N) yearned to be in Joost's arms again, but not if he was with another girl. It wasn't right to her or the other woman. "Honestly, I've miss you too," she said, making Joost light up, "But, it's wrong to miss you. You have a new life with another woman and I'm working on getting my life back together."

That made Joost eternally sigh. It's like his chances went back to an all-time low again. He wanted to tell her that he didn't want Andrea and that he wanted her, but he knew (Y/N) was going to clock him on doing that. He started tearing up. The tear build-up got too heavy for his eyes so they started rolling down his face. His emotions got the best of him. He started letting out tiny sobs because he couldn't keep them in.

(Y/N)'s heart started to feel extremely heavy. She hated seeing Joost cry and it was even worse seeing him cry and not being able to comfort him like she used to. She couldn't kiss his beautiful face, she couldn't kiss his lips, she couldn't hold him intimately, but she wanted to so badly. Sometimes a person's wants could be stronger than a person's inner morals.

"Hey, hey it's okay," she placed both hands on the sides of his face and looked at him with sad eyes. "Everything will be okay. Everything will go in place when the time is right, but right now the time doesn't seem right for us," she whispered.

"Yes, it does. The time is right for us, I can make it right for us. I'll leave Andrea for you because we belong together," Joost said with heavy tears running down his face. His emotions truly got the best of him. Joost felt his heart become even more sorrow-filled when he felt her touch. He melted in her hands.

(Y/N) shook her head at his statement, "That's not right, Joost. You can't break a girl's heart for another girl, that's never right." She started wiping his tears away with her fingers, "We will have our time again if the universe permits it. And when we have our time, I promise it'll be ten times better than before."

That made Joost cry even more, He didn't want time, he wanted her now. "I'm sorry, (Y/N). I made a mistake leaving you. I'm so sorry," His eyes kept the tears coming.

"Don't apologize to me Joost, I'm very much over it. I don't hate you. I still love you, but just right now, it isn't-" (Y/N) was cut off by Joost hugging her. Their bodies close together like they used to be, made Joost sob. (Y/N) wrapped her arms around his neck, making their touch feel closer. After a few minutes of Joost and (Y/N) holding each other, they pulled away to look at each other in the eyes. Joost's now blood-shot red eyes staring back at (Y/N) mesmerizing eyes.

"You've always been handsome to me," (Y/N) said, making Joost chuckle. He raised his hand to rest it on (Y/N)'s cheek. She closed her eyes and started melting in his touch, just like he did. She re-opened her eyes to see Joost watching her like she was a trophy. It was a bitter-sweet moment.

"You were always like a goddess to me," he replied. (Y/N) gave him a shy smile. This felt like a good moment for Joost to send his message to her heart and brain. He started closing the gap between them, making the moment more intimate.

(Y/N) watched Joost get closer, she started feeling guilty but felt like it was right. She wanted to say something, but her heart kept telling her to shut up. "Joost-" she was cut off by his lips. She started to eternally panic but quickly calmed down when she realized this was what she wanted all along. She closed her eyes and wrapped her hands around the back of his neck, deepening the kiss. They were finally feeling each other after a long time. It felt right, but wrong at the same time. They wanted this moment to last but knew it wouldn't.

It wasn't long before they used their tongues. From lips to lips, to tongue and lips. The moment was getting hot for them, their hands started to drop to each other's body. Joost was starting to feel her chest and her hips while (Y/N) started feeling the tent in his pants. They both started moaning from the sensation of their touch. They were touch starved for each other. The moment was ruined when Joost's phone started blowing up with text messages. Joost broke away and checked his phone to see Andrea's contact photo. (Y/N) peaked over and saw her contact name and felt her heart drop. Her contact name was "Princess" with a heart and bow emoji, the same contact name Joost had for (Y/N).

She realized what they did was a mistake. Joost was still a taken man and she had no right to ruin that. (Y/N) got up from her spot and started walking towards the door. "Wha- where are you going?" she heard Joost ask.

She shut her eyes and sighed deeply. She turned around to face him and started tearing up, "I'm sorry, but I think what was did was a mistake."

"How? It felt right for me,"

"Yes, for you, but is it right for Andrea? My friends have told me that she treats you like an absolute prince. This isn't fair for her. I'm sorry Joost but the time isn't right for us. I'm not going to sit here and make you feel good while that poor girl is asking people about your whereabouts. I won't do it," (Y/N) was starting to get angry and Joost sensed it. "You can try and make things right between us, but there's still going to be a girl out there with a broken heart because of you... I want you to go out there and tell her what you were doing with me in this room. If I find out that you didn't tell her, I will personally tell her myself because I don't want her to look stupid, telling people that you two are in love meanwhile you still love me," and with that, (Y/N) left the room.

Joost sat in silence and thought about what (Y/N) said. He knew she was right. It was better if he came clean than for her to find out by (Y/N). He stared at the wall in front of him and started imagining hundreds of scenarios of how the interaction between him and Andrea would go if he told her. A habit he always had when he had to make a hard decision. He fucked up badly and had to pay the price.

(Y/N) started speed walking down the stairs and through the hall. She was trying hard not to let her tears run down her face. She had mixed emotions about what happened and what she said to Joost. As she was walking, she made eye contact with a woman who looked exactly like her. It was Andrea. It was like time turned into slow-motion, they both stared at each other with different expressions. (Y/N) furrowed her eyebrows in guilt, while Andrea's confused expression turned to sadness. They both knew what happened without even needing to say words to each other.

˖◛. *. ⋆ Vanilla Speaks

is my writing good, be honest

im too lazy to check for grammar or spelling LOL

[thehouseofurmotha]

Hi! I was wondering if you can please do katsuki bakugo dating fem!reader who’s quirk is like panty from panty and stocking but her personality is like super sweet but will get mean if need to (also if it’s not a problem can it be dating hc’s? 🫶

Hiya! Thank you for the request <3 I've never watched Panty and Stocking so everything is based on what I've read from google, so if anything is wrong feel free to correct me and I'll rewrite it! <3 (I am def gonna watch it soon though so I might as just redo it based on information I get from that)

• You and Bakugou were dating for 2 months, when you finally told him about what exactly your quirk is. It's safe to say you don't think you'll ever see him as flustered as he was. You thought it was very adorable though.

• You understand that certain details of your quirk can be embarrassing to other people. Though feeling embarrassed about your quirk is never a thought that's occurred to you. But after Midoriya passed out one time while he was asking questions about your quirk you figured it was better to keep to yourself.

• You and Bakugou had known each other from childhood, and had started dating 2 months before you started U.A.

• Bakugou is like 'wait how tf did you figure out what your quirk was.

• You explain to him that you have another form, and you turning into that when you were 6 is how you found out about that. But then you explain to him that you didn't know about your gun until you were 14, and you were trying to get changed and suddenly there was a gun in your hand. Was a very confusing moment for you 😭

• He thinks your quirk is cool asf though, and he's always pushing you to do your best in training. He'd never tell you about it but he really wants to see your other form.

• The first time he does it's safe to say bro was WHIPPED. He thought you looked like an absolute goddess.

• let's talk about the reasons he ended up seeing your other form though. Everyone in the class adored you, they thought you were the sweetest. Until someone pissed you off.

• During the attack on the USJ, you had ended up with Bakugou and Kirishima. Bakugou was just happy that you were with him so he could protect you. Bakugou knew you were strong, Kirishima on the other hands only saw what you did during the first training activity and the fitness test, which sadly didn't end up being much.

• Homie was like, "stay behind me y/n! I'll protect you. And you and Bakugou both look at him like 'bitch what?' Then you guys start getting attacked by villains so you get your weapon out, starting to shoot at the villains. And then you watch one of them get a nasty hit and Bakugou.

• You were pissed, and not about to let that shit slide. Then before you've realized it, you're in your other form. Which your parents lovingly adorned your Angel form. (Idk if I used that word right guys).

• Bakugou and Kirishima could not 🙅‍♀️ keep their eyes off of you, like you were so bright. Your boyfriend thought you looked like an absolute goddess and was absolutely going to tell you so after this.

• If the class (or specifically mineta) ever found out about the full truth of your quirk. He would yell at anyone who said any weird or rude comments about it.

Bonus:

(During the fitness test)

"Kats, real quick gimmie your underwear." You whisper at him, maybe a bit to loud cause u get some odd looks from your classmates.

"Y/n what the actual fuck."

"Don't be weird about it, it'll hopefully make the barrel of my baby big enough to launch the softball out of it." You give him a small smile, not really understanding that he's still embarrassed about it.

"You are the weirdest person ever." Yet he still obliges, and you were right which meant you at least didn't come in last place during the test.

Aizawa was a little concerned tho when you transformed them back and threw Bakugou's pair at him while none of your classmates were looking.

[jay-m3]

Charlie and Vaggie

This is a male reader insert! Charlie and Vaggie become parents This would be before the pilot, so there isn't any other characters beside them. Hope you like it! I was also wondering if I should make one for the Vees. All three of them handling a toddler is a cute image in my head idk what do you guys think? If so, how should proceed it? Should Velvet be the biological mother or should I do a Baby Daddy on Vox lol

Pilot Part 1 Episode 1

It was time. It was time for the baby to come! And Vaggie was not ready for it but she isn't going to show it because if she does then who's going to calm down Charlie who's running around the empty, trashy hotel for a warm bucket of water that they will need for this specific moment.

Vaggie bites down a pained groan as the contractions start to double the amount and pain.

"Shit." She slowly breathes out. Running a hand through her hair that grew longer over the past months with the pregnancy.

"Ok! I got the water. Now where are my gloves? Are these the clean towels that we recently washed? Omg, did we buy enough diapers!?-" Charlie starts to grip her hair as her horns start to protrude from her head.

"Charlie, babe. We have everything here. We double checked and got more supplies after we thought we'll be in lock down for at least two months. Now, can you calm down and please hold my hand?" Vaggie interrupts Charlie's rambling as it would lead to a panic attack. Usually, Vaggie would calm her down with sweet words and gentle touches but right now, the pain she is feeling can't make her focus on anything but the pain.

"Right! Sorry. How are you doing Vaggie? Need water?" Charlie kneels on the bed, taking a hold of the woman she loves dearly. When they first met, Charlie thought it was love at first sight. They both gave hints such as fleeting touches and lingering eyes until it turned more intimate that they got together. It was magical really.

Until they hit their five months into their relationship, Vaggie started to act differently. Vomiting in the morning, craving weird things (Charlie didn't point out because she loves Vaggie too much to judge her) and sleeping a lot. They both brushed it off until Vaggie mentioned how her stomach is getting bigger. Which also took them a little bit longer to notice but they got there.

Charlie of course told her dad, well not told him per-say but a small comment about how to prepare for a baby and such which her father answered awkwardly and fast paced as she's sure she guessed he didn't want to talk about this kind of stuff to his daughter that he hasn't seen for a few years now. And she's pretty sure he forgot all about it the next phone call he made as he asks for Charlie to check on how many sinners died in the last extermination.

But all in all, Lucifer hasn't connected the dots and now Charlie is here alone, taking care of Vaggie and ready to secure the baby once it's fully out. She is so fucking happy! She's going to make this Happy Hotel a family business! Just the three of them.

"I don't want to alarm but I think the baby is coming out right now." Vaggie huffs out gripping on Charlie's hand with all her might as her body pushes.

"Oh god, ok! Just keep pushing. I have everything ready, sweetheart. You're doing great!" Charlie wheezes out the last bit as her hand gets crushed. Shaking the pain off, Charlie drags a towel over, ready.

It took at least an hour of Vaggie screaming in pain and profanities that finally, Charlie places their child down in Vaggie's arms.

"It's a boy." Charlie whispers excitedly, doing a little happy wiggle as she looks at her girlfriend and son together.

Vaggie smiles tiredly, muttering out a 'Never again.' Which Charlie volunteers to be the next one to get pregnant.

"You know what name I'm thinking?" Vaggie mutters out as she hands the baby boy that has her grey skin but the two red dots on his face along with blonde hair that he got has Charlie written all over it. Charlie snaps out of her awe trance at the baby, looking at Vaggie with a big smile.

"(M/n)." They both said at the same time, leaning on each other as they looked at their son.

[florallylly]

something along the lines of princess protection program of 2010s dcom fame. steve harrington prince of a small italian-adjacent principality forced to flee the country when a military coup takes place.

blah blah he's placed with the buckley family in hawkins, indiana. what i Think would be funny is if all of this is going on and the upside down is still happening.

like steve is obviously not disclosing his identity to anyone except for robin and the buckleys. and like this would cause a lot of shifts in the canon timeline but in my Head . just off the cuff no draft no braincell just gut instinct.

thinking of a steve harrington who relies on tropey examples of what he thinks american "commoner" school is like. he comes off kind of ditzy and a bit out of touch, but he's also hot and charming so he's pretty much a hit.

maybe steve and robin having a really bad first meeting and in retaliation robin comes up with some convoluted story about steve being her out of control drug addicted cousin who got kicked out of private school and sent to hawkins as punishment. or like some type of story along those lines but unfortunately it just makes steve more compelling.

eventually eventually they become the platonic soulmates that they were always destined to be and robin moves to the little italian principality and is finally able to regularly flex her italian skills

ALSO buckley family characterization something found family and the buckley adoption of steve harrington like... well yes....

BUT back to the upside down happening.

like i kind of want steve to arrive earlier, but i think narratively it would make most sense for steve to be the new kid in 1983. he lives with robin, but they're not really on the best terms because steve just so naturally fit in with the jocks and popular kids from the get go. and like. he's a spoiled kid who honestly robin is projecting onto because her dad is away fixing STEVE'S country like... it's a little his fault.

the timeline goes on as usual except like? idk how the barb and nancy party would work out while living with the buckleys, but perhaps it would have been held at tommy or carol's in this world.

i think it would be Hilarious if robin didn't find out about the upside down until season 3 like she did canonically, but in my heart i know that if steve came home all fucked up like he was after literally Any of the Seasons (???), she would not have been able to sit still. like regardless of the level of dislike that's someone she's been living with and Kind of Enjoys being around (reluctantly). so robin would be in the know sooner or perpetually pissed bc steve is remarkably persistent in keeping his mouth shut

maybe could cause more conflict in s3 with the russians and possibly knowing his identity but ALSO possibility for some type of robin buckley slayage a la her father like.... if that sentence made sense to anyone then it made sense to someone

but i think i think the funny thing is nobody else knowing steve's backstory or situation, just kind of assuming that robin's initial bitter story about steve being a reformed drug addict was the truth. Lol and weird dynamics with eddie munson bc uh oh... is this gonna affect sobriety or like his comfort or smth .... moment...

but mr buckley coming home and finding steve and being like :P hey you can go home now :P and steve breaking down crying like he never thought he'd be able to see the halls he grew up running down again. or see the ocean from his childhood bedroom again. or talk to the same neighbors he's talked to since he was five years old.

and everyone sans robin being like wow didn't know like. fuckin chicago was that meaningful to u ... damn... were u a fugitive or smth bc u had a car and a license.

the prince reveal would have me clawing at the walls gnawing my leg off i think ... eyes rolling to the back of my head i have no way to truly verbalize this

[roxyzwritez]

au writing shit idk

heres the Rough Plan for my first few eps:

ep1: the au branches off of canon in the final SU ep, Change Your Mind. renamed to Change Your World. when white yoinks the gem out of steven and pinksteven reforms and whiteasks W H E R E I S P I N K the response is something along the lines of "i am right here, but fuck you im not talking to you." (girlboss) and white gets the "im a child, what's your problem" and has the perfectionist meltdown, then steven's like "sorry but we gotta head out" and they're like "PINK WHAT THE FUCK?" steven goes "im not pink just leave earth alone" the gems agree and give steven The Legs™️.

pearl latches onto the idea that rose is still alive in there. (didn't write that tho just had it cut to this next bit oops) her and greg build a thing to connect to the gem that will essentially connect to pink/rose im just gonna call her rose damnit and allow her to communicate w everyone. shes like "...hey guys. uh. sorry for trying to kill myself i guess that didn't work but i have been minecraft spectating steven for the entirety of his existence with no ability to do anything but think and watch" pearl has a lesbian implosion, everyone's all happy n shit. steven eventually asks about the lying and she's like "yeag i done bad there. i just wanted to keep you guys together" (now that i think abt it there was no mention of bismuth here.. oops,) garnet gives her a Garnet Specil motivational speech and she's like "i missed you too garnet" (i forgot to mention, garnet violently explode-unfuses and ruby+sapphire are just bumbling with happy when rose spoke) amethyst has her own moment (she thought this was all bullshit and started playing fortnite upstairs but between games she heard rose and a p p e a r e d)

anyway rose then is thinking "oh man i gotta talk to so many ppl" and realizes eh guys nothing to worry abt just a HAPPY TO LISTEN, HAPPY TO STAY, HAPPILY WATCHING HER DR- but we should go there NOW" so they do, spinel is understandably distraught and breaks the gemspeaker in half but feels bad about it. she comes with the gang to earth, they show her around, a new gemspeaker is made and they reconcile. yippy! also spinel ate one of ALL. big donut flavors. sadie allowed this just for on e because steven is the LORD AND SAVIOR OF THE STEVEN UNIVERSE haha funny.

anyway she and bismuth talk. bis is kinda like "yeah i wasnt very gamer sorry about that herhee" again ignoring that SHE lied about the bubbling, conveniently forgot to explore that conversation for ease of writing and so i didn't need to go "how do i utilize my 2 iq points to channel these characters and get them to have a coherent, consistent to character conversation about this situation"

peri and lapis are called over by bismuth who doesn't say shit to them for the surprise. lapis is like "yeah ok hit me" peri is more curious. rose speaks, peridot fangirls and lapis is like "oh shit that's historically significant " peri is like "I NEED TO RESEARCH:)))" and runs off. spoiler: gem cloning

bis brings up the idea. rose is like "yeah that sounds legit" (the gem cloning conundrum took me way too long to understand. i drove my friend crazy. "hey can u explain every single quantum detail of this in the most verbose way i dont understand" but eventually i understood it JUUUUST enough to write it lmao i still don't get it)

rose n steven talk in roses room. all happy n shit. greg is told abt the plan and hes like oh shit i gotta clean up and steven is like "you know her standards. she don't give a shit" hes like "yeag"

peri makes progress! she made a little clump!! (explaining the gem cloning: theyre making essentially an empty gem with the powers but no consciousness inside. when its ready, white will take steven's gem out again, rose reforms, and the new gem gets ever so graciously stabbed into his belly where the old one was.)

peri tells steven its gonna take a year. he's like "well okay better than like hundreds of years" then he goes off to talk to the diamonds. he brings the speaker with. rose lets out the thousands of years of distrust and anger at the dismonds and they are humbled even more than when they got pinkd and rose is like "you WILL heal all the shattered ones i don't give a shit" and theyre like "whatever you say little one" (yes they do indeed heal the fallen. probably with regular shipments of steven fluid. that sounded wrong but im not a freak like that hes still 14)

also they go back home and steven talks to rose abt "you told the diamonds you literally wanted to die are you fr?" she explains and hes like YOU FATHERFUCKER, YOU ARE AMAZING AND YOU CAN'T DO THAT (crying)"

next episode is just year-long filler but i made it actually good by making it essentially a montage of lapis and peri in the barn becoming lesbian for eachother. finally, a controversial move on my part, they decide to overcome lapis's fear of fusion and fuse for stevens birthday. their fusion is turquoise (took way too long coming up with a fucking name) and can corrode (water + metal) and can morph/control metal (liquify n stuff. definitely not taken from a lapidot fusion concept i found on google images.) garnet is like "hey pearl look at these silly lesbians " pearls like "damn relatable" garnets like "yeag"

a week or a few after the bday, the gem is finally ready. everyone is excited until steven asks how this is gonna work. peri is like UHHHHH... 😊 and lapis is just "eh just take that one out, stick this one in!" peri goes NNNO- but after some damage control and telling everyone steven will be fine hes like "well i better get some good sleep then. big day!"

there's more but im done typing my fingers are about to go peridot and fuckin fly away let me know if you want the like 1other episode and the minisode after that

[givesupp]

The Ones Who Live (episode 4 spoilers)

My head feels like it's going to implode in on me and I just need to vomit my thoughts somewhere before it does. I remember hearing about the The Walking Dead (literally everyone and their mother was talking about it). I remember never wanting to watch it because it was SO popular and I've never been a huge fan of watching anything while it was still going live and everyone was into it. I'm weird IDK.

I had just finished up another TV series and was feeling empty, as one usually does and just wanted to dive into a new series. I chose The Walking Dead, finally deciding to give it a chance. I binged the first 4 seasons on Netflix and as I was doing this, it was literally becoming life saving. Only a few short years prior to starting the series I had just started dealing with severe depression. It was crippling. IYKYK. And to make a long story short, falling in love with this show, falling in love with Rick Grimes gave me something to hold on to.

'It's just a show' - this has been said to me many times. But it's not just a show to me. It's a lifeline. Its taking an inspiring moment and grabbing it with the only strength you have left and burning it into your head because if they can do it you can do it. You'll think about it the next time you feel like you can't get out of bed because there just isn't a point. It's taking a character and watching him fight for his sons life while everyone around belittles his character as a father and leader and using that the next time you feel like your chest is about to cave in from the sheer force of anxiety that just hit you like a mack truck. And you think about this character persevering while you sit in the corner of your bathroom floor with a cold rag on your face just simply trying to breathe.

So many examples, so many moments TWD has breathed life back into me when nothing else could.

And then Richonne.

RICHONNE.

Oh my god, what a fucking absolute treasure to emerge from this series. The slowburn of it, the showcasing of patience and friendship, love and trust and overcoming loss and hardships - together.

Finding your person. Camaraderie. True, real love. A soulmate. This? Despite loss, death at the hands of others, death at the hands of your own, tragedy, hopelessness, mental illness, losing your child? I can't even find words to express what Rick and Michonne mean to me separately, but as a couple? I am unable to express in words because it just would not do justice to what they actually represent to me in my own personal life.

Nearly a month ago we were given The Ones Who Live episode 1. And I remember watching that and having to physically remove myself from my home, go outside, sit down on the ground and reflect while sun soaking near a river. That's how blown away I was over the writing, the story, the emotions centered around this character that I have watched and grown to love over years.

Episode 4? EPISODE 4 is a fucking WELLSPRING of emotions, struggle with mental wellness, disagreement, unconditional love, immense hurt, understanding and patience. A relationship struggling to be what it was, if not anything at all. A broken man and a broken woman. A son, who has DIED years ago still finding a way to be the one who brings his parents back together. Who brings strength to his dad even after all this time...

Carl placed in the palm of his fathers hand as a sketch on a broken phone breathing life back into him. This, from his wife. Finding a way to save him. Giving him a sense of purpose, meaning back to him after he declared his own death not that long ago because he could not and does not ever want to live without her.

You cannot tell me that this show isn't important.

That it isn't life saving.

That it isn't at the very least forcing us to reflect and discuss and acknowledge our own lives, our own relationships, our own mental health, our own circumstances, our -

No.

This isn't just a show to me.

Thanks for reading my vomit novel.

[lastoneout]

Okay I'm finally sitting down to properly watch the PJO series so here's an episode-by-episode live blog I guess. (Fair warning, I haven't read the books since I was a teenager, I am a smidge of an apologist for the films, and my favorite adaptation so far has been the musical.)

Episode One:

All of the actors are doing a really good job, I especially like Sally.

The costume design for both the monsters and the humans is pretty killer. I want Percy's sweater.

I also love the little seaside cabin and want to live there!!!

This is such a mild gripe BUT as someone with dyslexia I wish there was a better way to visually depict it without like, doing the swapping letters thing cuz that's just not what it's actually like at all.

Gabe maybe feels a little too funny. Like I'm supposed to hate him and think it's justified that he deserves to be turned into stone at the end, this version of him is really.....toned down, and his banter with Percy and Sally was fun to watch. I should hate him, but really he just came across as unpleasant. Less abusive asshole and more "old married couple who share interests but can't communicate without shouting" you know?

Loved Grover's little "I'm 24 actually" lmao that was great.

Not a fan of Percy immediately recognizing the Minotaur within a millisecond of it appearing before the audience even got a good look at it. Like, I just sat there thinking "how can he even see it?" rather than feeling scared of a big monster barreling at them.

The action is uh....fine? Feels a little lackluster. Or kinda....divorced from the rest of the show weirdly?? Idk it makes me feel like I'm watching a movie of a movie if that makes sense?? But we'll see where they go with it. (I know banter during a fight isn't realistic and people make fun of Marvel for it, but like...it helps to have at least a little talking. We don't wanna be Man of Steel.)

I feel like there's been a few "slightly out of sync ADR" moments but they weren't too distracting.

Pacing into Sally saying goodbye felt a little long, kinda took the shock of her dying out of the scene, but the actress REALLY sold all the emotional beats so I'll forgive it.

I LOVE the credits sequence!!! Reminds me of the designs on that one box set of the books in a really cool way.

Episode Two:

Oh yes the ugly ass neon orange shirts are here bless!

FUCK YES THAT'S DIONYSUS BAYBEEE!! My ONLY note is that he def could have turned up the energy a little, but that's probably just bcs I love how loud and unpleasant he is in the musical and I also know how unhinged this actor can be.

Chiron is such a delight <3

I like the cabins too, way better than how I imagined them as a kid reading the books lol

Oh, I can see why the new fans fell for Luke so hard.

Grover assuming a human being squished would be like an old banana is very funny. Felt very book-humor in a good way.

Clarisse!!

Oh damn actual disabled half-bloods, very cool!

Minor but I can't actually tell what Percy did wrong with the bow? Weird editing I guess.

Aside from that I actually love a good "fuck up" montage, I honestly wish it were a little longer.

Probably doesn't matter but I don't get having them burn the food after they've started eating? I thought that was a before you sit down type thing.

Percy burning the blue candy to try to talk to his mom was sweet tho T_T

"real friends" hahahaha.....yeah.......about Luke.......

yay! hazing!

Oh I love Annabeth already >:D

Thalia.....is pronounced differently than I thought....?

(I'm sorry I'm too much of a fan of 'Tree on the Hill' for this exposition dump. That shit hits harder when coming from Grover.)

Percy giving Annabeth the "actually I suck and my self esteem is riding on this so like pls don't ask me to do anything hard T_T" talk is just, so good lmao

ofc he doesn't know what's going on Annabeth you didn't tell him anything

Okay the action is a lot better when it's between the actual characters and doesn't involve a 3D monster, though I still had trouble following all the hits Percy was taking.

Oooh I can see why people did so much art of Percy being claimed that was a good shot.

FUCK YEAH TELL HIM YOU'RE SALLY JACKSON'S SON

(I hope they kept the Oracle in the attic...)

Okay I have to go do some things and then I'll be back for more!

[secondstar-acorn]

season 2 means the world to me and now that it's over it's time for me to Elaborate (while I SOB how dare you anthony)

it being a more complex and less easily fixable storyline fits because they're teens! it really resonates with my early-20s-ass!!! i love season one it's incredible but their goals being more clearly set out also makes sense! all they really want is to get their kids home. the teens have to save the world and kill willy and reconcile with their parents and and and---

also idk why but in season 1 i really only had one dad that i Latched Onto and that was henry. i love darryl and glenn and ron obviously but henry just hit different for some reason and we're not gonna examine that because then i'll have to schedule a therapy appointment. but this season i have latched on to every single one of the teens. they're all extremely, WILDLY important to me and i'm gonna talk about it (scotty mute your dash)

let's talk about taylor first because i ADORE him. i am so freaking proud of him, y'all. he started off the season asking cassandra who his dad was and he ended the season by realizing that all he needs is his mom! that's a fantastic moment of character development. he cares so much about his friends! he knows who he is and he puts on a confident attitude, but he's still just a scared kid a lot of the time. he's so supportive 24/7 (HELL YEAH MY MAN) and if norm is the glue, taylor is the emotional support glitter on the craft project that is team stunt teens. he brings up the mood! he adds pizzazz! he's not. afraid to shine but he's also kinda fragile! that's my fucking guy!!!

ok moving on to my absolute beloved scary marlowe. i was one of those people who started off not really liking scary and not understanding her Deal but i finally GOT her in halt and catch fireball and from then on i've been obsessed with her. she falls into my favourite category of fictional character which is morally grey woman with insane amounts of power who just desperately wants to be accepted by people (i.e. jean grey, morgana pendragon, etc.) she stares willy in the eye as he dies!!! she tells her bio dad to fuck off and she accepts terry as her dad and remembers her mom is her best friend and GODDD SCARY MARLOWE. she's one of the most performative of the teens but she's also one of the most genuine. she is quick to defend each of her friends and once she's back in, she's BACK IN. she backs up every single one of them whenever they need her support, and her friendship with normal especially is extremely special to me. they're siblings your honour. the thesis of scary marlowe's character (imo) is "what if my friends love me more than i hate me" and that is a POWERFUL ASS choice that beth made. that's every teenager i know!!! that's me in high school!!! she's fucked up and she's imperfect but she is trying and she's learning to forgive herself for caring and i could write more but i'm not gonna because this is already getting so long and we're only halfway through.

okay this one is. god. normal oak. you put an oak in front of me and i start crying immediately. normal is no exception. hermie may be the theatre kid but normal has the theatre kid energy of trying so SO hard for attention and love but never getting the appreciation he wants. every single relationship he has is FUCKED. he lives off of validation and he's never learned to love himself as is. (please fucking god get this kid to samantha stampler he needs to hear that he's enough just as he is). he hasn't been loved by his parents the way he should, he's fighting to meet impossible expectations, he's been inadvertently pitted against his sister since birth, and he starts the season filled with the naive sort of joy that comes from doing No self reflection whatsoever and ends it deeply self-reflective and clearly still dealing with his trauma. but now he has friends who accept and love him no matter what. friends who will pull him onto the dance floor! he's the cheerleader! he's constantly giving out the validation he's wanted his whole life. he is so generous and so kind and so fucking sad and he breaks my heart. i need a campaign exclusively about normal going to college and learning how to live without his parents constantly in his business and learning who he really is and wants to be. he is. god. normal oak swallows garcia has been living with two conflicting philosophies his entire life, from sparrow "love wolf" oak garcia to lark "bring this glock to school" oak garcia. it's no wonder his mom is a centrist because who ELSE could love both of those men. (rebecca and morgan should meet up. side note.) and he chooses love every time!!! WE HAVE TO HELP IT. i love normal. i hope he's gone to therapy in the past twenty years and i hope he sees that he's had the people who care about him and love him all along in the form of his friends. i was normal normal was me and i am so proud of him. because even though everything has sucked shit he keeps pushing through. he's resilient and i love him for that.

and now. the teen who came out of nowhere and stole all the space in my brain. the true surprise of the season for me. LINCOLN LI FUCKING WILSON. god what to say about lincoln. so so much. i am so overcome by emotion whenever i think of lincoln that it is nearly impossible to put it into words. i understand this kid on a spiritual level. he has one goal and one passion his entire life. he loves his dads so much and he defines himself by what he loves and what he's interested in. he's never been confronted with the real world before. and then he is. and suddenly his world is no longer soccer and dads and his small house and fifa. now he is realizing that oh, the world is a little fucked up actually, and oh, the man i idolized for 14-15(???) years is kind of the one who fucked it up. he means the best for me but by sheltering me too much i am woefully unprepared for the world i'm living in and now all of my false hopes and aspirations are crashing down around me and the only way i can deal with that is to not care anymore. he has to shut it all out or he'll actually have to Think about how awful it is. his dad has killed people. he was found on the titanic?? scary, the person he immediately latched onto once he started doubting his dad, betrays him, and then he's floating again. and scary comes back!! and they eventually get married!!! and future lincoln has learned to forgive and understand that maybe, if he can forgive scary and love her and know her for who she really is and accept her even though she killed that guy that one time, maybe he can learn how to do the same for his dad. i'll say it. lincoln is the luke skywalker of this season. he is throwing away that lightsaber. he is saving grant from his self-hatred by choosing to love him at the end of the season. he tries to change himself as a way to get space. he hates hermie but he tries to be there for normal. he's best friends (...)with taylor and he finds his first REAL friend that isn't one of his dads through taylor!!! taylor inspires him to finally rebel and steal that laffy taffy!! high school lets him start to figure out who he is. he's able to forgive his dads. his sense of morality is maybe a little fucked up but he's probably working on it now!! he's absolutely the bitchiest out of all the teens and i love him for that!! he does his dads' taxes??????? he's been forced to handle WAY too much responsibility on literally all fronts and he shuts down to try and cope. he is canonically autistic to ME. the way he thinks about everything is Insane. he's besties with a bunch of dolphins. soccer is his safe place. when he loves something he holds on TIGHT. this is an incredibly long-winded way of saying i love lincoln and i will spend the rest of my life losing my mind over this character.

my point here is i love season 2. it's weird! it's freaky! it's eldritch! it's brightly coloured and also dark as shit!! i love season 2!!!!!!!

and don't get me started on dood because then we'll be here for hours.

[ginalinettiofficial]

hey what’s up hello okay so i finally just finished s2 e52 of dndads (had a very crazy work week so was listening in bits and pieces) and here’s the thing is that im also currently relistening to the whole season and earlier in this week, the most recent episode i finished, was halt and catch fireball, and before that ya know was mrs. swallows oak garcia’s home for peculiar teens or whatever that one is called where they are just. at normal’s house and we got to actually get to know rebecca a little bit and i have got to say that i don’t know if i could’ve picked a more painful and wild older ep to listen to as a precursor to dood riddance i really don’t!!! literally half of the shit in dood riddance just circles back to that arc in the swallows oak garcia home and it’s CRAZY

like first of all. the red vines, which they called twizzlers the entirety of e52 which was MADDENING as a person who legit just finished e30/31 where the red vines were introduced

but then like. e31 is where taylor gets the anime sword from nick!!! that he loses in e52!!!

there were a few other things that i’ve forgotten in the half an hour since i finished the ep because my brain is a sieve on a good day and i’m just getting home from two back to back 13 hour shifts (with an extra 1hr10/20 each day for the commute) so the brain machine is so fucking broke rn

but mainly. i wasn’t loving e52 esp after dood left i just was not vibing with it, i feel like the vibes were off in the room in a way that translated into the ep for a bit there, but then anthony in those last like three minutes brought it back around and with the roll of rebecca??? after i legit JUST finished listening to the eps that feature her the most prominently and like truly showcase not only normal’s relationship w his mom but also, as is said several times in e30/31 and their teen talks, just how similar normal IS to his mom and how he really clearly is a total momma’s boy and very much so seemed to be a kid who sought solace with his mom more than anyone else in his family and just. having legit JUST reestablished that in my own, made the end of e52 DEVASTATING for me in a way that idk if it was for other ppl??? idk haven’t checked the fandom yet im very disconnected this season but just.

like

i think that okay so we have ten parents it could’ve been, right? and five of those are the kiddads, and none of us want to see them die, so in that moment when anthony was telling us what was gonna happen, obviously my instinct was like “oh god don’t do this don’t do terry jr again but truly permanent” and then my next instinct was that it would be potentially even MORE awful if it was scary’s dad because finally there he is and that’s ALL she wants and for willy to take that moment from her would be INSANE and then (mind you this was my thought process over the course of literally 10 seconds, my brain is ping ponging in my head and has been since the second i got in the car to head home i need to sleep) and THEN my next thought was, oh god, but how fucked up would it be if it were marco??? oh god, how fucked up would it be if it were cassandra?!?!?!?! and then it was time for the roll and truly in those brief seconds basically my brain flicked through every potential victim and said “oh god THAT one would be the WORST”, EXCEPT for veronica and rebecca, and it made the hit of it being rebecca who was low down on my instinctual list to think of but then the second he said her name i was immediately ricocheted back to earlier in the week when i was listening to halt and catch fireball and mrs. swallows oak garcias home and how many emotions i had about normal and his mom just relistening to those episodes and then the fact that i DIDNT think to worry about her just

all of that combined to make that a CRITICAL HIT FOR ME OKAY like i am SO fucked up over this truly that was WILD and i applaud anthony burch for it and now am excited for the finale even though ive spent the last three eps just dreading it for several reasons but now im excited and devastated and i love that

anyways. that was word vomit i just NEEDED to get this out because the connections between those two episodes really will not stop hitting me in the head and i need to impart that onto SOMEONE. if u read this. ur a real one. rip rebecca swallows oak garcia you were a legend and i am so sad about u

[bella-rose29]

Not Your Lover - Chapter 8 (final chapter)

Gregor finally gets some backstory (been a long time coming) although it's actually quite depressing (I'm sorry)

shit goes down in this one (both bad and good)

ok edit: this is the last part of this series (I know 😭), there's a better explanation on the master list if you would like, but thank you to everybody who has liked, commented, reblogged, or even just read and enjoyed <3

Word count: 4.2k

Warnings: swearing, the mother is (you guessed it) still a bitch, mentions of death, mentions of a stillborn, grief, Gregor sees Nik as a son (I cried writing that honestly he's so sweet), the mother gets her ass verbally handed to her, idk what else there is other than it's only been proof-read once

Tag list: @a-candle-maker, @bish-lasagna, @bubybubsters, @el-de-phi, @hauntedenthusiasttragedy, @iambored24601, @itsyoboo-jassy, @karensirkobabes, @kentucky-criedfricken, @little8sun, @mrsklockwood, @mvidaaaa, @nalie-98, @naushtheaspiringauthor, @notoakay, @pietromaximoffsbabe, @shadowwolf202101blog, @simbaaas-stuff

As always, let me know here if you would like to be added to/removed from my Nikolai tag list <3

series master list

Y/n was having a shit day.

She hadn't seen Nik- Nikolai, since he'd told her who he was the day before, and she felt awful about how she'd dealt with it. It was irrational, really, since she knew that he wasn't Davor, but the doubts about what else Nik- Nikolai (Saints, that was still difficult to get her head around) was lying about were creeping in. Her mother's presence in the mansion at the moment was doing absolutely nothing to help.

"-and Davor says that he overheard the two of you the night of the faire, you know, when I found out that the two of you were 'together', and Davor says that he heard you talking about how you were going to pretend to date so that you could use me for your grant! And Davor says tha-"

"Saints, mother! Stop talking about Davor! 'Davor says this' and 'Davor says that', it's exhausting just listening to you!" Y/n was working on the third room, the deadline closing in far too fast for her liking.

Everything would be easier if Nik was helping.

She shook her head in an attempt to clear her thoughts of him, and went on stubbornly ignoring her mother's incessant rambling, picking up a brush and painting the walls. The entrance hall and first front room were done, but they'd taken longer than she'd expected and now it was a rush to get the third and fourth rooms done in six days. In fairness, she only really had to put the final coat of paint on these walls and finish tidying up and then the second front room was done. It was the final room that was stressing her out, since it needed clearing out, floors replacing, furniture replacing, everything replacing, really, and she'd barely touched it.

Her father had promised to help, which she would be eternally grateful for, but even with somebody lending a hand Y/n had no clue how she would ever get the project done in time.

"You know, I should have expected something like this from you. You're a terrible daughter, do you know that? All I ever wanted was the best for you and you had the audacity to lie to me and take me for granted."

Y/n stopped her work again to stare up in incredulous shock at the woman that called herself her mother. "What? I'm a terrible daughter? You do realise that the only reason that any of this has happened is because of you, right? Because of your failings as a mother?" She stood up, hoping that she looked intimidating.

"How dare you insinuate that-"

"I fucking dare. Get the hell out of my property." Y/m/n wasn't moving, but neither was Y/n, and after a few moments the older woman seemed to realise that she'd lost this fight and left.

~~~

Gregor had smacked Nik for the third time that day, and it was barely lunchtime.

"Focus, boy!"

He felt bad about hitting him on the back of his head, but at the same time Nik hadn't been concentrating and was about to saw his fingers off, so Gregor thought that it was fair.

"Sorry," the younger man muttered, clearly still not with it.

"What's up with you?" Gregor asked, tone softening. "C'mon. If it's gonna stop you working effectively then we'll talk about it." Nik sighed, turning in his seat at the workbench, and for the first time that day Gregor could see the exhaustion in his eyes.

"I told Y/n. She didn't... she didn't take it too well. And Davor and Y/m/n have started going around saying we were faking it-"

"You were though?" Gregor said, confusion lacing his voice.

"Well, yeah, but the point was that nobody was meant to know that. Although I did tell you pretty early on which kind of defeated the point, but you're good at keeping secrets so I felt safe telling you." Gregor's heart swelled at the words and at the knowledge that Nik trusted him enough to share something he wasn't supposed to. It hadn't been long after Nik's first appearance in Taya that Gregor started seeing the man as a son, helping to fill the hole in his heart that had been empty for so long. His wife had died during the birth of their firstborn son, only for the baby to be stillborn. Gregor had been wrecked, despondent and reserved, and eventually he'd moved out to Taya, hoping that the sea air would heal him. Work had kept his mind off of his past, but every now and then he'd be reminded of the two of them and had to close the shop, sitting in his grief all day doing nothing but staring blankly at a wall and periodically crying, his head in his hands. But Nik, bright and shining Nik, had been the son that Gregor never got the chance to meet, and so knowing that Nik felt that he was somebody he could talk to filled the older man with joy.

"Anyway," Nik continued. "I said I'd give her space. It wasn't the best time to tell her, to be honest, because Davor and her- Y/m/n were giving her shit, and then Evalina appeared, and I think it was just a lot to take in all at once." Gregor didn't miss the way that Nik stopped himself from calling Y/m/n 'Y/n's mother', and he found that, despite having known the woman for years, he agreed that she had been too despicable the past few weeks to be called a mother to anybody.

"Well, can you still help out with the mansion? I know she's stressed about that since she's got a whole room left that she hasn't touched and maybe that'll help her figure things out?"

"I don't know. I'd have to go when she's not there, I think. Otherwise I'll feel that I'm pressuring her into an answer or something."

"Well, she normally gets back here around seven bells, and heads out around five in the morning to get the bakery open. Not ideal hours for you to go and help out at the mansion, but I'll let you slack off a bit in the morning if you're tired."

"You sure? Thank you, Gregor. Really. I was going to ask where she's staying, too. She's here then?"

"Yeah. I've got a spare bedroom upstairs. Not the nicest, but at least the heating works," he joked, knowing full well that the hotel heating was complete shit. He'd tried many times to fix it, but somehow (he suspected the owners were Grisha and deliberately breaking it to avoid paying heating bills) it always ended up worse than before. Nik huffed a laugh, a small smile creeping onto his face. "Come on," Gregor said. "Let's get this desk sorted, yeah? If I remember rightly they're coming tomorrow morning to pick this up."

~~~

That night, Nikolai made the short walk to the mansion.

The street lamps dimly lit the way, making the shadows lengthen and concealing people walking along the pavements, but Nikolai wasn't afraid.

Not when he had his demon on high alert for any sign of danger.

Thankfully they made it to the building without incident, although Nikolai could have sworn that Davor was following him, and once they were inside he let his demon out.

"You're helping, alright? You can fuck around a little bit while I get started, but when I need your help, you help, okay?" His demon nodded, stretching out his wings and immediately running off into the bowels of the house. Nikolai sighed, then headed into the back room to make a start on clearing the space.

~~~

"What the fuck?"

Y/n was standing with her father in the mansion just after eleven bells the next day, staring at the empty fourth room.

"Do you... do you know what happened, Dad?"

"Uh... nope. Looks like somebody wants you to get this finished though. Not sure why they wouldn't just... come and help during the day," he frowned, shifting the toolbox he carried. Y/n frowned for a moment too, until she realised who was most likely to do something like this.

"Well," her father declared, striding forwards. "Let's not waste time! We need to get these floorboards up and replaced! Come on!"

The next hour or so was spent doing just that, ripping up floorboards with much more aggression than was needed (both Y/n and her father were taking out their anger on the job), and by the time Y/n had to go back to the bakery they'd stripped the whole room and had made a start on laying the new boards. She was just stepping into her shop when Evalina appeared, and it took a tremendous amount of willpower on Y/n's behalf to not punch the woman in her stupid face right then and there.

"Hi, Y/n. So Nik is single, yeah? Because I would love to see what he's like as a lover."

"Fuck off, Evalina." Y/n walked around the counter, tying on her apron. "Unless you wanna buy something?"

"I'm not hearing anything saying I can't be with him, which is perfect! I'll go find him now!" She ignored Y/n's protests and pranced to the door, but didn't get a chance to open it and rush down the street because a woman had thrown her arm out. Holding the door closed, she raised an eyebrow at Evalina, her other hand resting lightly on one of the axes at her belt.

"You're gonna do no such thing, alright? Go and find some other poor sod to run after, because he is a taken man," the woman threatened, and Evalina paled slightly when an axe was lifted and held up to her throat, nodding so hard Y/n thought her head might go flying. Satisfied, the woman released the door and let Evalina disappear around the corner, watching her go, then turning to face the counter. "You're Y/n L/n, right?"

"Uh, yeah. Who are you?" she asked with a frown. How did this random woman know who she was?

"Tamar Kir-Bataar. You're in contact with Nikolai, correct?"

"No. Well, yes. Well, no. It's complicated," she finished with a sigh.

"But you know where he is? Because I need to find him and the little shit is being evasive. Does he ever open his mail?"

"Um, I don't- I don't know? Wait," Y/n frowned, picking up on something. "How do you know he's Nikolai?"

Now it was Tamar's turn to frown, clearly unsure what the situation was. "Because I used to work with him? Until he ran off into the countryside. Took a good while to track him down, sneaky bastard. He was always good at disappearing."

"Wha- okay." She huffed a sigh, pressing a hand to her forehead. "Well, he's probably at Gregor's, the mechanic. Although he could be taking a lunch break, but I don't know where he'll be if he is. Why do you need to find him?"

"The crown needs him. Urgent business. I'm not obliged to say any more than that, I'm afraid. Thanks for the help," she smiled, heading for the exit. The bell on the door chimed behind her, and Y/n replied to an empty room.

"You're welcome."

~~~

Nikolai dropped his spanner when Tamar walked in and called his name, which was unfortunate because he was on his back, and therefore the tool fell on his face.

"Fuck," he muttered, clutching his nose.

"You alright down there?"

"Yep, all good!" he called, hoping she couldn't hear the pain in his voice as he pushed himself out from under the carriage he was fixing. "Not that it's not lovely to see you, Tamar, but what are you doing here?"

"Zoya needs you. We've been trying to contact you for weeks now, but you haven't replied."

"When you say contact...?"

"Letters, mostly. Have you just not been reading your mail, Nikolai?"

"I haven't been getting mail. And just Nik would be great. People don't know who I am here, stops any assassination attempts. Well, Gregor knows, actually, but I doubt he's going to kill me."

"...Okay. Well, we need you to be Sturmhond for a little while. Shit's going down with the Kerch and they're refusing to loan us money right now despite our crippling debt because they don't like Zoya being on the throne."

"But they were fine with it when I abdicated a month or so ago. Why are they complaining now?" He wiped his hands on a nearby cloth, frowning at Tamar.

"They've got some new people on the council, and apparently they're really anti-Grisha. We need you to convince them otherwise and get those loans." Nikolai sighed, bracing himself against the workbench.

"I can't just uproot my life here, Tamar. I've got... stuff."

"Look, your girlfriend will still be here when you get back. You'll only need to be gone for what, two weeks at most?"

"My girlfr- oh, you mean Y/n."

"Yeah. Who else would I be talking about?"

"I don't know," he sighed, exasperated. Everything was happening far too quickly and all at the same time, and he had no idea what to do about any of it. On top of all of that, he was apparently meant to be receiving mail, none of which had arrived. "Look, I can't leave now. I've got jobs in the garage I need to finish off and the deadline for Y/n's project is in five days. Just give me until after then, okay?"

"We can't wait that long, Niko- Nik. There's trouble in Kerch and you're the only one good enough at getting what you want to fix it."

"There's always trouble in Kerch. Can't you send our good friend Kaz after them? He could threaten them in the middle of the night with murder or something."

"Kaz won't do it unless we pay him an inordinate amount of money," Tamar grumbled, and Nikolai couldn't help but think what a good idea that was.

"Five days, Tamar. And I'll give my most convincing speech yet, how's that?"

"Fine. But I want you going straight there, no detours. We're already behind thanks to your missing mail."

"Yeah, I'll look into that. I have my suspicions on who could have been intercepting my letters."

"I'm going to make the journey back. Five days. And then you make a move," she pointed a finger at him, stern look on her face.

"Five days." Five days to finish the third and fourth rooms. Five days to get Y/n back onside.

No pressure, then.

~~~

That night, Nikolai headed back to the mansion, his demon scurrying across the rooftops out of sight from pedestrians.

He spent most of his time laying the rest of the floorboards, then painted the walls with a first coat in the colour that Y/n had left with a note saying 'Room 4 walls'. His demon was helpful, or at least trying to be, picking up a brush in his mouth and attempting to paint the walls, but when Nikolai saw how haphazardly the job had been done he gave a tut and let the demon wander off and explore the rest of the mansion.

It was strange, how friendly the two of them were now.

Since the events within the Fold things had been different, almost as if now that they were two beings sharing one body they had to learn to get along or go mad instead. Nikolai had previously thought that he'd never be pleased to see the demon, or enjoy its company when it was a reminder of what he had suffered at the hands of the Darkling, but every now and then when it went quiet in his head he grew concerned, or when it chased after its own tail like a dog he laughed, and sometimes, in the depths of the night when nightmares kept Nikolai awake, the demon would curl up around him, offering what comfort it could.

Watching it now, he wondered how they were ever not this close. It was sort of like having a large cat, Nikolai thought. One that didn't shy away from a spot of murder.

The sound of stones being kicked made both man and demon swivel their heads to the entryway of the mansion, and Nikolai paused with the paintbrush mid-air.

"Hey, easy," he whispered to the demon, hoping it would take the hint and stop growling. Footsteps sounded, louder than the stones, and after a moment Y/m/n appeared. Nikolai was surprised to see her, not expecting her to turn up this late at night. He felt his demon hide itself in a corner, the long shadows helping conceal its dark form.

"Hello, Nik."

"Y/m/n," he said tightly, suppressing a grimace. "How can I help you?" He didn't bother disguising the contempt in his tone, no matter how schooled his expression was, and she noticed.

"You can start by going home. This is Y/n's project, not yours."

"Bullshit. She's just the manager of it. Anyone can help."

"Well, she needs to grow up. A child's dream is just that. Perhaps I entertained her fantasies too much when she was younger, but this has gone on long enough and I need to put a stop to it. So, put the paintbrush down, and go to bed. She needs to do this on her own, and when she inevitably fails she'll come home. Back to me."

Nikolai couldn't stop the laugh of disbelief that came out of his mouth, and now he made sure that she could see every emotion on his face. "You really think that she'll go back to you?" When Y/m/n nodded he only scoffed. Maybe she hadn't heard him properly at the market the other day. "You are delusional. You put her down, crushed her, destroyed her, and made her hate you with every fibre of her being, and now you think that she'll forget every comment, every moment where you made her feel like she wasn't a good enough daughter, and act as though nothing happened? No, I'm talking," he said when she tried to interrupt, his tone hardening. "You have ripped your family apart, and there is no amount of grovelling that you can do to get it back. You tore our relationship, too. Yes, it was fake to start with, but our feelings are real. So real that it fucking hurts to know that she has a mother like you, because you don't deserve her. I don't deserve her, but at least I know that she's the best I'll ever do and that I need to worship her like the goddess she is. You don't recognise that you've done anything wrong. And if you ever talk about her like that again, I will make good on my words from the other day. I will find you, and I will ruin you. Because she is the love of my life, and if she'll have me, my future wife. There's nobody but her for me." He paused, chest heaving from the realisation of what he'd just admitted. "We're done here. You can go." Y/m/n looked surprised at the dismissal, but the authority that had crept into Nikolai's voice made her scurry off into the night, her metaphorical tail between her legs.

The demon slunk back into the light, nuzzling up to Nikolai's hand in what felt like pride and comfort, and he was so preoccupied with giving it chin scratches he didn't notice the second figure that had been lingering outside the mansion.

~~~

"Nik? You here?"

"He's out," a voice replied, and Y/n deflated slightly when she recognised it as Gregor. "Went to get lunch. He should be back in about-" he checked his watch, then said "ten minutes. Do you wanna wait?"

"Uh... yeah, sure. Thanks, Gregor." She perched on a chair in the waiting area, anticipation making her buzz with energy. She couldn't sit still, leg bouncing and gaze darting around the room, and every second that passed felt agonisingly slow.

After seven minutes (and thirty-four seconds, although she definitely hadn't been counting) Nik walked in, and he froze with his eyes wide when he saw Y/n waiting in the shop. She stood up quickly, opening and closing her mouth as she tried to start the speech she'd been planning all morning. Gregor walked back out into the main shop after disappearing into the back rooms to fetch supplies, and upon noticing the two of them stood staring at each other, he excused himself, offering up his office as a quieter space for them to talk. They accepted, clumsily thanking him at the same time and walking hesitantly over.

Nik closed the door behind them, and despite the large room Y/n felt cramped, the air heavy with the words she couldn't find the strength to say just yet.

"How have you been?" he asked, his voice quiet. He wasn't looking at her, and she was stubbornly refusing to look at him, but she could picture his exact expression.

"I heard you last night." She winced, not meaning to start there. He didn't say anything, and after a few moments of no sound but the clock in the office loudly ticking she braced herself and glanced up. "Nik? I didn't mean to say it like that. I just- the first night, when I came in in the morning and the room was clear, I assumed it was you, so I came over the next night to make sure, and also to talk to you, I guess. But then my mum was there and I was about to turn around and leave, but then you started talking to her and saying all those things and-" she broke off when he met her gaze, taking a breath.

"How... how much did you hear?" His voice was hoarse, like he was trying to hold back his emotions.

"From around when you told her she was delusional." She bit her lip, nerves taking over the small wave of confidence she'd just had.

"Right." Nik cleared his throat, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. "And... do- what-"

"I love you, Nik. And I wanna try being with you, for real. I can't promise that I won't be wary, and I can't promise that I won't doubt you at times, but I can promise that that isn't your fault, it's Davor's. And I can promise that should you ever propose, I'll say yes." He took a shuddering breath, a shaky smile forming on his face as he took a step towards her. Y/n wasn't sure who moved after that, but somehow they ended up meeting in the middle, arms wrapped around each other as he held her face and kissed her like he'd never let her go again. They parted after a while, taking heaving breaths and resting their foreheads against each other. Nik didn't move his hands from her cheeks, and Y/n slid hers up to cover them where they sat, linking their fingers the best she could.

"I love you," he whispered, pressing a lingering kiss to her lips. "I love you."

"I love you too. Just no more lies, yeah? I'm not sure I can handle that."

"Got it. No more lies." He went quiet for a moment and then said: "Is now a really bad time to tell you that I need to leave for two weeks?" Y/n pulled back so that she could search his eyes, huffing a laugh when she saw how concerned he was.

"I think it's a great time, actually. Does this have anything to do with that woman? What was her name... Tamar?"

"Yes. Apparently I'm the only one who can talk a nation into being cooperative. I've managed to make it so that I don't have to leave until after the deadline, though, so I can keep helping out."

"You didn't have to do that, Nik. Really."

"What, and leave you wondering where I'd gone? No thank you. You'd most likely murder me when I got back."

"I would never!" she exclaimed, laughing when he gave her a look that said he knew she was lying.

"Oh, you so would, darling." She'd forgotten how sweet the name sounded, sending her heart into a flutter.

"Hm, maybe," she murmured into his lips, moving her hands to wrap around his neck and hold him in place (not that he needed much encouragement). They only broke apart because Gregor coughed very loudly in the doorway, an unimpressed look covering up the smile he was attempting to hide.

"If the two of you could refrain from using my office as a room to fuck in that would be brilliant." Y/n snorted, and Nik nodded, both of them flushing at the thought. "Great. Nik, back to work. Y/n, I'll see you at dinner."

He swung the door shut behind him, leaving Nik and Y/n holding back laughter in the office.

[jihyocentric]

idk if anyone has requested for the summary of dormmate!nayeon yet, but I would like to! It’s been a while since we have got an update about them🥺

thanks in advance and have a great day, lumi!

made this a filler drabble to give context to the next request for this au!

-

getting to know yeri shifted something between them. jihyo slowly realizes that nayeon has been sweeter with her, trying to redeem herself, knowing she was the reason why jihyo had to deal with that.

if only nayeon had resisted the urge to have jihyo, they wouldn’t be stuck in that situation. jihyo could’ve found someone nice. someone who would take care of her, always put her first and wouldn’t make her pretend she doesn’t know them when they’re not in between four walls.

this time, when the guilt begins to consume her, nayeon doesn’t drink. after the last time she drowned her sorrows in alcohol and everything went downhill, nayeon promised she wouldn’t do that again, resorting to less harmful things.

that included spending quality time with jihyo, and sometimes helping sana and momo out. there was an extracurricular project of which the two were volunteers, and while sana and momo were there for the money, nayeon wanted time for herself, keeping her mind busy while teaching kids the basics of basketball.

that way, she didn’t have to think about the mess that her life had become. the moments where she was alone at the dorm, waiting for jihyo to arrive, were the worst hours of her days. as long as she was away, either helping out on the project or taking classes at college, her problems would vanish.

even if temporarily, she could finally breathe.

“since we’re letting you participate, you should give us the money,” sana says when they’re leaving college. momo agrees with her. “you don’t need it! besides, if it wasn't for us you would never know about the project, and…”

“you can have it.” nayeon sighs, already sick of having the two around. they had become closer with time, and they certainly knew how to keep nayeon from thinking about her problems, but they talked too much. “can you just keep quiet?”

“that easy?!” sana blinks, confused, hugging nayeon’s shoulder with a smile on her face. “look at you, im. you’re such a good friend now.”

nayeon scoffs, offering her a halfhearted smile. momo was clueless to the whole nayeon and jihyo subject, and none of them were planning to tell her. nayeon still hates the fact that momo tries to reach jihyo, the jealousy stopping nayeon from accepting momo as a friend. sana finds it entertaining for the most part, an amused viewer.

when she gets home, nayeon feels a scent that calls for her, fresh and sugary, filling the entire dorm. jihyo leaves the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around her, and nayeon knows she will rightfully complain about what she plans to do, but she can’t help but engulf her in a hug, her front meeting jihyo’s back, her sweaty arms involving her.

“you’re late,” jihyo sighs, her hair being pulled aside, soft lips kissing her neck, a familiar gesture that made her stomach burn, anticipating everything that came next. “and sweaty.”

“i took the girls home today,” nayeon pushes jihyo’s body gently, making her walk. while she wouldn’t mind to fuck her in the hallway, right there and then, her legs ached after spending the day running on a court. “and now i’m taking you.”

jihyo’s back hits the mattress as soon as nayeon manages to undo her towel, and then she’s trapped in one of those moments where she thinks she should be saying no. meeting yeri made things become more real, the guilt close to palpable, but it feels so good, even when it’s bad.

nayeon’s kisses carried uncertainties that even the roughest touch couldn’t make jihyo understand what nayeon wanted behind the obvious lust. kisses shouldn’t feel that way — empty and hungry at the same time, and nayeon shouldn’t be silently telling jihyo she is hers when she couldn’t live up to the promise.

“about our date…” nayeon inches away, taking off her muscle tee and dropping it to the floor. “there’s a festival happening out of town this weekend, i thought i could take you there.”

jihyo takes a while to process what nayeon had told her, eyes locked on her tummy. the top part of her boxers was showing, nayeon entirely too lazy to fix it. the shirt had been covering it anyway.

“you’re taking me out of town so nobody can see us?” jihyo asks, bringing her hand to the belt around nayeon’s waist, unbuckling it easily.

“what a smart girl,” nayeon mashes her lips together, only letting out a small laugh. “there’s nothing interesting for us to do here. at least not this weekend… just thought you would like to do something different.”

it was true.

not entirely true, but it was still true. nayeon was taking her out of town because it was dangerous to walk around with jihyo when nobody knew she shared her dorm with her, but she wasn’t lying when she said there was nothing interesting to do around the town.

“too sweet, unnie.” jihyo sighs, pulling nayeon’s pants down to her thighs along with the boxers. she moans softly when nayeon’s cock springs out, hard from the moment she saw jihyo. “planning to take me to bed afterwards?”

nayeon shrugs, letting jihyo guide her inside, supporting herself on her arms as she leans into her neck, nibbling the smooth skin just slightly. jihyo was already covered in marks, and those needed time to heal without nayeon trying to give her more of them.

“obviously.” nayeon tells her, amused. “but i want us to have fun, too. just you and i,” she pulls away just barely, nose brushing against jihyo’s. “my pretty girl.”

wasting no time, nayeon starts to thrust. she had always been fond of giving jihyo a little praising, knowing what it did to her, combining them with searing thrusts that would make jihyo cry out beautifully.

nayeon keeps a hand on jihyo’s cheek tenderly, another holding her thigh, groaning at how jihyo claws at her ass under the pants, subtly asking nayeon to put it all in and go impossibly deep, her way of making nayeon hers, an arbitrary sense of accomplishment growing in her chest.

the same passion that put them in their current situation comes back stronger when they’re together like that — losing themselves together, bodies pressed against one another, fulfilling a need that would never be truly sated, drowning into each other’s mouths even when they could barely breathe, forgetting about the world outside.

despite everything, there's nothing to regret when it feels that good.

[channelworldbluez]

Fucking Raw Shit about My Feelings and my Girlfriend that ain’t no one gonna Read pt. I

(Sorry for any errors)

Not too be all “I Love My Girlfriend so much” but I feel like the more time we’ve spent together, out and about on dates and doing our own thing, the more closer I feel to her. It’s always the little things I appreciate and notice, it’s the normal-as-shit activities we do like for example:

Friday we go to her eye exam. We get there courtesy of insurance paid ride share(shout out to them) and we arrive a bit early so we decide to kick it. So I’m just like “okay, I’m just happy to be here I’m just be a good girlfriend ” and you know what this woman does? She’s all like I have a surprise for you and I’m like ?????

And proceeds to lead me to a store(mind you the optometrist is located in a plaza along side various stores and a Publix) and it’s some bakery that sells like small edibles like pastries along with teddy bears and all types of cute stuff. Basically it’s where you go if you want to get your loved one a tasty ass gift okay. So anyways we go in there and she’s like “you know how you’ve always wanted to try chocolate covered strawberries? 🥰” and I was like yeah I’ve mentioned that like once??! I didn’t think you were like paying attention lol but she bought me 6 chocolate covered strawberries covered in a nice red gift box. And get this, the lady in the store added in an extra two! So like really 8. I was surprised because no one’s ever like done this for me before and it made me feel all warm and fuzzy and shit inside idk how to express it lol but it was very heartfelt for me

Another moment was when we were finally at the eye exam, I helped her fill out her forms and stuff and then we wait in the waiting area which was boring as shit but what made it less boring was her letting me lay my head on her chest so she could stroke my hair and beard while I got to play with her joystick for her chair(obviously it wasn’t on) and idk it’s a sensory thing okay I like pushing on it.

An annoying that happened when we were at the appointment was how the nurse would talk to ME instead of her and it’s like she’s right fucking there talk to her this isn’t my appointment it’s hers she can speak for herself for fucks sake. But, whatever I know it comes with the territory.

I also think I gotta hand on properly helping out when assisting her out and into her wheelchair, so I’m proud of that because I want it to be comfortable for the both of us.

I also learned that her eyes are perfect 20/20 but also that because of her CP her brain only prioritizes on seeing out of one of her eyes. I’m still tryna wrapped my head around this. I thought it was interesting af though.

Also I got to watch her eat again I promise I’m not a psychopath I just love watching her enjoy herself okay she always laughs and asks “why do I do that?” But I can’t express it good enough in words I just love her okay everything she does is like beautiful to me idc idc

How she bought me the vape was by accident and wasn’t planned I dead ass just wanted to look inside the cool ass vape store just to browse and see what’s up and see the pretty colors but she was like “I know you like your nicotine baby and I’ve wanted to buy you something .” And I’m like “you really don’t have to 🥺” and she’s like “nigga let me buy you something!” 😤 and I’m like bet okay. I’m just not used to this kinda treatment

She also bought herself one of those vape pens with Sativa in it but don’t ask me about that shit because I don’t know…I guess it gets you high???

I love the walks we take around her neighborhood but don’t tell her I said this but I HATE crossing the intersections with her, it makes me anxious. Why? You ask…because as someone who has almost been hit TWICE by a car when crossing the street when I HAD the right of way, gives me flashbacks and idk I just want her to be safe but also I’m willing to get in front of any car for her always at any given moment

She also put me on to cheesecake. I’m not gonna lie I was giving cheesecake a bad name without even trying it but I take back everything I said(it was so fucking good I want more)

I hate leaving her ya know. Like saying my goodbyes and kissing her and holding her. I can’t wait for the days when I never have to leave….

[nicoappreciation]

thots on tsats

okay this is gonna be very long and extremely rambly and not very planned out ok? ok. spoilers under the cut

FINE. I LIKED IT. WHATEVER. hit me with a car.

obviously there were parts of it that i didn't like. obviously there were moments that i felt were out of character. nevertheless, i had a lot of fucking fun while reading it. i love nico and overall i'd say i'm happy with where the story leaves him. yes, this book's existence is extremely unnecessary. but i appreciate it for what it is.

okay let's get the main things i didn't like out of the way:

nico would NOT know who lil nas x is. also why was the montero music video mentioned in a book for middle schoolers.

i understand the role that nyx is meant to play in the story and the message of it but idk i kinda wish they did her character a bit differently. she really reminded me of white diamond from steven universe i'm so sorry.

speaking of nyx that WHOOOLE weird "our children" thing with nico and the cacodemons. that made me very uncomfortable.

last nyx complaint the final confrontation with her ended pretty anticlimactically. kinda like with gaea, it felt like the way to defeat her was a little too simple. but y'know i haven't really been satisfied by a final battle since tlo so. that's just how it is.

it felt like will was kiiiiinda useless for a lot of it. obviously he was important for the story but i wish they had let him do some more cool stuff besides occasionally shooting some light lasers. i get he's a healer but why didn't he bring a WEAPON??? like at the very least he could have had a bow or a knife. y'know we haven't really had a character who uses a blunt force weapon as their main one besides hedge. i would've liked to see will with just a baseball bat or something LMAO.

kind of an add-on to the last one i think that will was nerfed wayyy too much. it makes sense that the underworld would weaken him, but it sometimes felt like they were stopping every five minutes to let him rest. we've seen before that he's quite strong and athletic, i just feel like he should've had a bit more stamina.

there were a few dialogue moments that sounded like they came from some extremely online gay teenager and not nico and will. "bisexual chaos" haunts me. he would not fucking say that.

NO HAZEL APPEARANCE and NO REYNA MENTION. this is the worst one.

i feel like tartarus should've been more physically dangerous. like they fought some monsters here and there and the terrain was hard to navigate but most of the dangers that they dealt with were more mental/emotional. you could argue that we got the physical danger from percy and annabeth's journey so that's why this one focuses more on the mental danger and i could see why you'd think that. but idk sometimes it felt like it was a little toooo easy y'know.

there were some parts of the backstories and flashbacks that were inconsistent with the previous books, like nico saying he spent weeks at camp half blood when he first arrived when he was actually there for only one. but continuity errors are just par for the course with these books at this point so it honestly doesn't bother me too much. we make our own canon.

i'm not a fan of the name cocoa puffs. i feel like they could've come up with something better.

i'm sure there are more that i'm forgetting, but those are my main gripes. okay now onto the things that i liked!!!!

the book was fun. it was just fun. there were some jokes that i genuinely laughed at and there weren't really any points that felt like a slog to read through. i was pretty consistently entertained the whole time.

WILL AND NICO WERE CUTE OKAY. THEY WERE CUTE. maybe this is just 12-year-old me talking but i sincerely found their relationship very sweet. it's abundantly clear how much they both care about each other and what they're willing to do to protect each other. they mean a lot to me okay.

i want to specifically draw attention to the part where it was revealed that nico gave will his skull ring and now he wears it on a necklace. absolutely devastated me. changed my life. people died. in a good way.

I LOVEDDDD the tension and conflict that will and nico had between them for most of the book. it made their relationship so much more believable to me! they haven't even been together for a year! they're complete opposites! they had very different upbringings! they're in an INCREDIBLY STRESSFUL AND DANGEROUS SITUATION in an environment that is literally designed to dig up their biggest frustrations and insecurities! they're going to clash and have fights and have very different worldviews that they need to work through. that doesn't make them a bad couple like i've seen some people say. tell me you've never had a loved one say something hurtful or ignorant to you. tell me you've never said something hurtful or ignorant to a loved one. you can't! because you have! but if you love each other you talk about it and work through it and try your best to understand each other!!!!!!

adding to the last one i like how the conflict got resolved by will realizing he needs to put in more effort to understand nico and nico realizing he needs to open up more to allow will to understand him. open and honest communication and a willingness to be vulnerable babey!!! if you want to be loved you have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known!!!!!!!

I LOVED. THE DREAM SEQUENCES. they all went so hard. some of them were downright disturbing. good shit.

even if they had some continuity errors, i enjoyed the flashback scenes and the backstories. we got quite a lot more than i thought we would. i was not expecting to see the entirety of nico's first journey through tartarus. it hurt me a lot.

i think it's cute they're making it canon that nico and will knew of each other since pjo. they were in each other's orbit before they even knew it. it actually got me thinking about some of my own relationships. i have a friend i knew back when i was 4 who i completely forgot about for years, only for us to reconnect by chance when we were 12 and be best friends ever since. i have a friend who was a vague acquaintance of mine for years, but then one day we somehow started talking more and now they're one of the closest friends i've ever had. idk. something about meeting someone once at the wrong time and then again at the right one.

nico was very cool. he was also a massive dweeb. he can do both. i love him.

i like the cacodemons as a very literal metaphor for learning to live with your trauma and the "worst" parts of yourself. celeste vibes dare i say. also nico just has a bunch of lil guys following him around now and i think that's neat.

fuck man. i like seeing nico be happy. i like seeing him in a happy relationship with someone he loves and who loves him just as much. i like that he's still learning to let go of his grief and move on. i like that he's hopeful at the end of the book that he can actually find happiness. he's always been one of the most tragic characters in the pjo-verse and it's so nice to see him just being HAPPY.

despite how hard to believe it was i did really like the little dream scene with the whole di angelo family. nico got to talk to bianca and maria one last time, he got to hug his dad, he finally got to rest for a bit. it was very cathartic and i maybe cried.

this book's message was very clearly for young queer kids who don't have everything figured out yet. you're allowed to change. you don't have to always be one thing. your past doesn't define you. you can find love. you can have hope. no matter how badly written you believe the story is, no matter how inconsistent you believe the characterization is, it's hard to deny how important these messages are and how badly some kids need to hear them. if the book has one redeeming quality, it's this.

so. yeah. i liked it. i had a good time. there's more that i could say but i would honestly just end up adding onto this forever. people who don't like the book have plenty of valid reasons to feel that way, even if i may not agree with some of them. at the end of the day, this story and these characters are not real. please be nice to each other and try not to take things too seriously. we're all just a bunch of late teens and young adults reading a book series for middle schoolers, and i think that's beautiful. thank you for reading if you actually made it this far, i know it was a lot. peace and love on planet earth.