#Who am I to blame for my lack of common sense

[i-wanna-burn-the-world]

I've been doing maths wrong apparently!?

Okay, I read a fair amount(of fanfic lol) and I was trying to figure out how many short novels(40,000ish words) I could shove into a fic I'd just re-read (His Kidilante by Otaku6337 which is 500,000(ish) words long.) (Also I read this whole thing in one day and I'm proud of myself lol)

and I was doing the maths the same way I've always done it, except I this time out loud with my mother in the room and low and behold I find that I'd been doing it in my head maths wrong for my whole ass life! I've been doing a kind of "take a number you know you can multiply cleanly and do that until you get the answer." Apparently, regular people don't do that.... here's what my maths looked like-

2 x 40,000 = 80,000 and that leaves 20,000. Which is half of 40,000(so I'll slide that in to make 120,000), so that means that I need 2 more 40,000s (or one more 80,000) to make 200,000(which is 5 40,000s). Times that by 2 to get 400,000 even, then add two more 40,000s (for a total of 12, 40,000s, or 480,000) and then add one more 20,000 and the answer is: 12.5 40,000s fit into one 500,000

And here's what hers looked like-

40,000 x 10= 400,000. 2 x 40,000 = 80,000 which leaves 20,000 left over, so the answer is 12.5

...pardon me I have to go question my entire life.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Gray Woman 1

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Lloyd Hansen

Summary: You meet a man who tests your patience. (grumpy!short!reader)

Note: To those who didn't help me resist this beast, I blame you.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

"Five thousand." The man slaps his card down and flicks it through the slot of the plastic window.

"Five thousand," you repeat.

"In cash. Hundreds, sweetheart. Oh, actually, do about five hundred in ones," he winks.

You don't humour him by reacting. Your skin crawls nonetheless. The implication of the last part of his request is clear. You merely stare back at him. He's not unusual. Executives strut in all the time with their demands. It's never a request, no please, no thank you. They only tell you what to do.

"Yes, sir. I would need your ID," you take his card from the counter and feel the embossed letters on the matte black plastic.

He scoffs, "my ID? I gave you my damn card."

You don't flinch. Not for him. You've worked this desk long enough not to even feel his anger. He's just another spoiled brat in an overpriced suit. The metropolitan bank is an ocean swimming with the likes of him; hair slicked with smelly pomade, feet bedecked in tacky designer loafers, and jackets lined with silk. You couldn't pick him out of a batch of your usual clientele.

"It is procedure, sir. For security. We must confirm your identity and make note of the large transaction--"

"Large transaction? It's pennies," he scoffs.

"Sir, I'm only following protocol. For your safety." You insist.

He snarls as you remain placid. Your lack of reaction doesn't please him. He jabs his finger onto the marble ledge on the other side of the plastic window. "Manager. Now." He pokes again. "Get me your manager."

"Yes, sir, a moment," you slide forward in the chair and step onto the lower bar of the tall legs.

"While you're at it, why don't you crack a smile?" He snipes.

You climb down without response, his card still in hand, and turn to find Veronique. You've been told to do so many a time. You don't give in. It's not that you don't smile, you just prefer to have a reason for that. You're not grim by any measure, just reserved. You don't believe in exhuberance.

As you cross the floor, you look down at the card in your hand. You can just make out the plastic letters; Lloyd M. Hansen. The name might be familiar, you may have even helped him before, but you can't recall.

You long-legged supervisor with her auburn red hair, waved to compliment her long oval face, stands with Gianni, giggling at the Account Manager as he postures. You approach and steel yourself for the interaction. She doesn't notice you as you stand right by her elbow.

You clear your throat, "Excuse me."

"Oh, pardon me, Gianni," she peers over at you, "what is it, dear?"

"A customer is unhappy. He does not want to show his ID." You say.

"Oh, gosh, forgive me, Gianni," she looks back to the manager and preens. "Gotta make sure everyone's happy, don't I?" She spins and nudges you away from the man in his pin-striped arrogance. She lowers her voice as she stomps in her heels, "do I have to do everything around here?"

"I tried--"

"Zip it," she warns and looks ahead. "Bonjour, Mr. Hansen, comment ca va?" She puts her on her faux French accent.

Your chest hollows out. Of course, she would know him. You already know how this goes.

"Well, Ronnie, this pinch-faced brat you got working for you won't give me my money," he crosses his arms and leans them against the ledge. Brat? You're probably not that much younger than him, and likely more mature.

"Oh, my, I'm so sorry. Forgive me, monsieur," she trills and rears on you, "go get his money."

You blink, "yes, ma'am."

Her lip curls slightly. She doesn't like that. It makes her feel old. It's as much rebellion as you have in you. Subtlety always does better.

You turn and go to the safe. You put the bills through the counting machine, taking your time, then return to your desk. As you approach, Veronique lets out another of her high-pitched giggles.

The man on the other side, Hansen, stands straight, his arms still folded, and coughs. It's nothing in his throat, you know what it is. You push his card through the slot then climb up calmly into your chair.

You count the bills by hand as Veronique hovers like a hawk. You record the withdrawal as you pause.

"Once again, Monsieur Hansen, we apologise," she fawns, "it is only that she did not recognise you." She lowers her voice and leans into the window, hiding her mouth even though you can obviously hear her, "we think her hearing is going a bit."

You continue to count and state the total evenly as you slide it under the window, "five thousand, sir."

"Great," he checks his watch, "only took ten minutes out of my day to do what could be done in ten seconds."

He clamps his hand over the money and shakes his head. You close out of his account as Veronique lingers.

"I will be sure this does not happen again," she avows. "I hope you have a wonderful day."

He grumbles and says nothing else. He catches your gaze and his eyes narrow. You calmly reach for your pen and turn back to your computer. The next client steps forward and blocks him out.

"How can I help you today?" You ask, moving onto the next without another thought. It's just another day. Always the same. Good and bad.

[a-writing-otter]

This is a little something I wrote for @a-scary-lack-of-common-sense ‘s Kook Ford AU. Sorry that it’s not actually Ford, but the post about what Fiddleford and Stanley were doing kind of ate at me for a bit until I blacked out and this was on my screen.

Go check out his AU art, it’s absolutely delightful. Honestly, thanks for inspiring me with this to write anything. It’s been a minute. Thanks for your killer AU, I hope I did it justice. Enjoy!

It’s well after five in the morning. Tate, Soos, and the twins are all asleep. Fiddleford is standing on one side of the kitchen, glaring at Stan who is looking through the cabinets of this old ghost of a house with something intent on his face, pointedly not looking at Fiddleford.

“I’m sure it’s around here somewhere. God knows I wouldn’t drink that swill, ha!”

Fiddleford says nothing. Stanley looks at him, then winces, and looks away.

“C’mon, Fidds, you can’t be that mad.”

“Can’t I?” Fiddleford reaches a hand up and then pushes his goggles to the top of his head to pinch at the bridge of his nose. “Let’s count it out, shall we? Y’turned on that portal after your brother and I told you not to; you endangered the lives of your niece and nephew, your supposed heir, and, apparently, my son; you faked your death; you abandoned your brother; you took my name; and you run a leg of the mafia. Am I forgetting anything else?!”

“Hey! I saved your life!”

“You almost killed everyone in this—!” Fiddleford stops at the sound of shuffling from upstairs. He clears his throat, exhales a breath, and tries again, quieter.

“You almost got everyone in this damned town killed. And for what? This ain’t Casablanca.”

Stan turns sharp eyes on him.

“Don’t,” he says pointedly at him. “I didn’t—“ Stan fists a hand and thumps it against the wall beside the cabinet he’s still searching through, though not nearly loud enough to let out the frustration Fiddleford can see building up in him.

“You’re right,” Stan says, measured. “You are also… the only one that can fix this. I tried. I tried real hard, Fidds. There ain’t nothing I can do. No money, no power…”

“That’s why you brought me back. To clean up your mess,” Fiddleford sneers.

“No. To save Ford.”

Fiddleford goes quiet and his mouth draws into a line.

“You said he went crazy after I left,” Fiddleford says slowly. “That he— With the memory gun and—“

Stan looks up the stairs and finally gives up his pursuit and comes in close to Fiddleford. His words are quiet and low.

“Ford… After you went through, he got a little skrewy. He got… agitated and scared. He was convinced that Bill was comin’ after him after everything with the portal.”

“Yes, well, if I do remember, my last words were ‘oh god, Bill’ before I disappeared into another dimension.”

“Yeah. Thanks for that, by the way.”

“You’re going to blame me? You’re seriously going to blame me? Who in the hell’s fault was it that that portal even turned on?”

Stan winces and then rubs a hand over his face.

“I know, I know, I know. It’s mine. It’s all my fault. Everything in this godforsaken—!”

Stan reels it back and forces another breath out his nose. All things considered, Fiddleford is rather impressed how well Stanley is handling his temper. He was never the kind of lash out, but certainly the kind of get loud. Fiddleford shakes his head, walks away from Stan, and goes over to the cabinet just above the fridge. The robotic wrist extends out to grab the extra few inches he needs to open the cabinet. From there, he can open the door and then pull out a crystal clear mason jar. Pulling it down, he struggles with it for a second. Stan holds a hand out and Fiddleford meets his eyes fiercely before something in his robotic wrist clicks and the seal pops. He keeps looking at Stan as he takes a swig.

“Does that taste good?” Stan asks, disbelieving. Fiddleford is trying not to gag.

“Like vinegar. Better than nothing though.” After a second, he holds it out towards Stan who shakes his head. “Y’always were a wuss, city boy.”

Stan’s lips twitch slightly.

“Not all of us were kitted out to be hicks.”

They lapse into silence again and Fiddleford leans into the counter as he continues to nurse the jar of moonshine like it’s some kind of fine wine—after the swill he’s had these thirty years, he’s happy to have this, vinegar or not.

“What happened next?” Fiddleford finally asks, looking at Stanley. “What happened to Ford, why does my son call you my name, why are you a mob boss?”

Stan takes a deep breath in.

“That’s where it gets a little… eh, complicated. Ford and I got into an argument about him refusing to boot the portal back up. I told him if he was going to leave his best friend to die, he should consider me dead too. And I, uh,” Stan pauses for a second, expression haunted, “I don’t think I’m never gonna regret that. I got in the car, I left. Decided to tell your wife and kid something, didn’t know what. It, uh, went… Well, I—“

He looks at Fiddleford and holds his hands out like an offering, expression sheepish.

“I don’t know, Fidds, it happened so fast. I was— I was convinced that you wouldn’t want them to be left alone and I— I mean they missed you, so—“

“Did you wipe their memories to make them think you were me?!” He hisses out. Fiddleford doesn’t really believe a word of what he himself is saying, but it gets louder and almost desperate when Stan nods his head.

“You stole my identity?!”

“You were gone! Or dead! I didn’t know! I didn’t know how long it’d take to get you back! I just thought, well, you know… I’d look after them, make sure they were okay, and then when we got you back, everything would be great!”

“Stanley Pines, you’re insane!”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently, it’s a family trait.”

Stan is running his hands through his hair over and over again to the point it’s sticking up in every direction. It takes more effort than Fiddleford cares to admit not to reach out and smooth it out.

…he almost misses the mullet.

Fiddleford shakes his head—no, no, he doesn’t. There’s nothing about this bastard that he misses.

“So, what? You convinced my family that you were me and then just left Stanford?”

“Well, no. I, uh, went back to Gravity Falls, figured that he’d had some time to think, so we’d team up, figure out what to do, all that good stuff. Your family managed that long without you, figured a little longer would be—” A pause. “Except he wasn’t himself anymore when I came back. I—“

Stanley slumps down into the chair, elbows on his knees and head in his hands.

“I didn’t know what happened. I came back and he started howlin’ about ghosts. His head was bleeding and there was metal in there and he had—“ Fiddleford sees Stanley shudder from head to toe. “Fidds, he had no idea who I was. I tried to jog his memory, you know, I’m his brother? Twin? Stanley? And then he started wailin’ about his dead brother. Shook me off to crawl over to a phone that wasn’t even plugged into the wall, talkin’ to no one, wouldn’t even look at me. I— I was a coward, Fidds. I couldn’t stay, didn’t know what to do for him, so I just— I left. I faked the death of Stanley Pines he thought was real and put the whole thing behind me.

“Only problem is that my life as ‘Fiddleford McGucket’ wasn’t exactly charmed. Couldn’t wipe Em’s mind of you bein’ gone for four years and she was real pissed. Then, of course, I couldn’t work a computer for the life of me. So, uh, Em left me, took Tate, and… and it was just me. Alone. In Palo Alto. No brother, no…” he hesitates for a second before pushing on, “you, no your family to look after. Everything I’d done, I’d kind of come up empty on.

“So, I, uh, did what I was good at. Clawing my way out of bad situations. I’m real good at lying, you know. Pretty damn good. And you had some real amazing equipment still at your house. Some tongue-in-cheek lies, some bravado, some promises I threatened others to keep, and I—“

“You used my technology to bribe your way into the mob?” Fiddleford groans. “You couldn’t even replicate my stuff!”

“You’re right! Tech? Computers? Screw that! But I’m great at making connections with people who know people. And, uh, when the connections ran out, I made other connections. And, eventually, with enough time and connections and power, I—“

“Became the head of the mob?”

“I mean, that’s a bit of an over-exaggeration, but, eh, more or less. Was able to keep the house, keep myself afloat, even made sure I could be ‘round Tate’s life.”

“You exposed my son to the mob?!” Fiddleford takes a step forward that Stan reels back from as much as he can while seated.

“I kept him safe! Look, he and Em were always safe, I made sure of that!”

“Okay. Great. Wonderful.” Fiddleford takes another two gulps of moonshine and, again, tries not to gag. “You put my family at risk, you abandoned my best friend. How the hell did you end up back here?”

It gets quiet again and Stan goes from looking like that cocky bastard who believes his own lies to that scared kid who got caught telling a lie.

“It was Tate,” he starts. “He was stayin’ with me, sleepin’ real tight in bed before he came in to get me. It was nightmares for a bit, nothing out of the ordinary for a ten year-old. But they kept happening over and over and— And finally, I ask him to tell his old man what’s eating him. …and he says there’s been something coming to him in his dreams. That a man who looks like me with yellow eyes and so many teeth keeps talking to him, trying to tell him he needs to come to Gravity Falls. I— I don’t know. I tried to convince myself it was a coincidence, that he’d seen something on TV. You know kids and their imaginations, right?”

Fiddleford just stares at Stan.

“But he was shoutin’ one night, went to go check in on him and— And he said my name, clear as day. Said Ford’s name too and I— knew I couldn’t stay away.”

Stan folds his arms over his chest. Fiddleford’s eyes are drawn to the way that the tattoos bulge slightly when he does. He’s not the starved vagabond he once knew. All things considered, he looks healthy. Well, healthier.

“Came up here, came to the house. I expected to find Ford, but… he wasn’t ‘round. Looked high and low for him ‘til the dame at the diner told me about the ‘Crazy Kook Ford’.”

“…Crazy Kook Ford?” Fiddleford presses, jaw dropping. “You left your brother to— to be a crazy old townie?”

“Not like I didn’t try to bring him inside! Geez, I’ve had better luck taming seagulls and those things are nasty. But, no. No matter how much reasonin’, how much cajolin’, I couldn’t get him to talk to me or recognize me. He’ll talk anyone’s ear off if given the time, but me? He avoids me like the plague.”

Then Stan shrugs.

“Couldn’t leave him again, though. Came up here, kept up my work long-distance and brought some of it here. Small towns like Gravity Falls are happy to take in someone who can keep it afloat and prosperous. And I knew that, if anyone was going to get Ford back to one-hundo, it was going to be you. So I tried to rebuild the damned portal. It, uh, took longer than I would have liked.”

Thirty years is a helluva long time, Fiddleford has to admit.

“What do you want me to do?” Fiddleford finally asks. “I mean, you got me here, sure, but I don’t know damn about neuroscience and memory. Well, other than how to scramble it. That’s all frequencies and brainwaves and hypnotism. I can’t put memories back, that’s a lot more complicated.”

“You’re not even gonna try?” Stan demands and Fiddleford throws his hands up.

“I didn’t— Christ Jesus, Stanley, I didn’t say that! Just— This ain’t gonna be easy. This is gonna take time. Might be years.”

“…we don’t have that kind of time.”

Fiddleford snorts.

“Look, I know you’re not keen on Stanford spending his golden years as a drooling, crazy, old man, but—“

“He’s got Bill in his head.”

Fiddleford stops at that. Blinks. Shakes his head a little.

“Come again?”

“I mean that Bill Cipher, that rat bastard is still inside of Ford’s head. He takes him over in spurts, does all kind of crazy shit. I think that when Ford put that metal plate in and did whatever to his head to wipe the memories, he ended up trapping Bill in there.”

“We might not have a choice than to keep him like that,” Fiddleford says, slowly. “Look, I know, I know, that’s not ideal, but Bill—“

“Is using him to create a tear in the universe.”

Ah.

Right.

Of course.

Because Fiddleford couldn’t escape one point of insanity without landing in another.

He sets the moonshine down and puts his head into his hands.

“So you’re telling me, Lee, that Bill Cipher is inside of your brother’s mind and he’s taking him over to try and take over the universe again.”

He hears Stan suck air from between his teeth.

“That’s about it.”

Silence settles in the room and Fiddleford leans his head back into one of the cabinets. He’d spent years trying to escape Bill Cipher and the monsters that he kept company with. All things considered, he wishes he’d known about Bill being trapped on this plane. …beggars can’t be choosers, though, right?

“Give me two hours to sleep, a pot of coffee, and time alone in the basement. Don’t know where to start, but I’ll figure it out.”

A smile cracks across Stan’s face and it does something to Fiddleford’s chest that makes him have to grit his teeth and look away. He seizes up when Stan grabs his shoulders before immediately shaking him off.

“You’re amazing, Fidds, I can’t thank—“

“Don’t,” Fiddleford says firmly. “This don’t mean nothing. I’m not doing this for you. After this is figured out, frankly, I don’t want to see you again. I want my life back, I want my name back, and then I don’t want to breathe the same air as you ever again, y’get me?”

He’s seen kicked puppies look less pathetic. Once upon a time, he’d have raced to soothe the burn, but there’s thirty years of rage that’s only growing hotter as they stand there in the kitchen.

Stan balls his hands into fists, pulls them back down his side and looks away.

“Right. You got it, McGucket. I’ll, uh, let you to it.”

Fiddleford doesn’t spare another look to Stanley as he pushes past him and towards the stairs, remembering where Stanford’s old room used to be. He passes by a mirror and winces at his own reflection. Lifting a hand to his head, he pulls the goggles back on and winces at the old, weathered man staring back at him. He hasn’t had a proper look at himself in god knows how long. The wrinkles are plenty, his hair is white save the few strands of blond that try to peek through. It’s a miracle, he supposes, that he still has hair. He’s tired and he looks it.

“No rest for the wicked,” Fiddleford sighs before ducking into the bedroom to try and catch some shut-eye before attempting to fix yet another of the Pines’ messes.

[imbecominggayer]

How To Write Characters With Addiction

From @differentnighttale: "I am curious if you give advice about writing people with addictions for example substance. I have reasons my male MC does it. But how can I describe the addictions the MC has correctly."

In this post we are going to be talking about addiction! From alcoholism, substance abuse, nymphomania, to everything else that can be a possible addiction. This post will be all about making this realistic and complex :)

A) What Are The Benefits?, Make It Convincing

Grab a fucking piece of paper or whatever you have and just write a paragraph from your addict's perspective on the situation. Omit the bad stuff. Make it highly convincing. if you aren't thinking "hmm, understandable" after you've written and read it, you did it wrong.

What do they get out of it?

Why did they like it at first?

Are they calmer, more intensely concentrated, does it take the edge off?

Are they more confident?

Does it ease the sense of being fundamentally wrong or dull some other pain?

Is it fun to do something rebellious?

What made them like this thing so much they tried it again, and again, and again?

B) Think About The Consequences, And Ignore It

Oftentime, at least in my experience, people will continue with a bad habit if it means they don't have to be the one to think about the consequences.

The Consequences For Addiction Include:

Financial. Depending on what your character uses to get their fix and how much they use, they might be spending hundreds a week if they are a particularly aggressive user. People often steal money from their loved ones. Addiction also tends to get people fired. Write a scene where your drunk character gets fired for operating machinery. Have them be a burdenous sponge.

Social. It's common for addicts to lose their loved ones since it often gets to a point where it's impossible to care about these people despite how much you love them. Make love ones leave your character! And don't blame them

Physical. STDs, Overdose, Liver Failure, and a shit ton of other issues from the chronic to the fatal either cause, exacerbate, or are linked with addiction. Recovery can't automatically save your character so don't write that story.

Psychological. Being an addict isn't fun since you get to struggle with points 1, 2, and 3 all at the same time! Write about your character issues. Their lack of control. Their spiralling life.

Write all about your character's suffering. And then have them justify it. Make it convincing.

They need it. It's not their fault that this is the only that helps them! Everyone just doesn't get it. I'm trying to work on it, OK?! It'll all work out! They know that it's wrong but...

My most hated shit is when a character's arc is easy. They struggle with some things like a big dramatic argument with their wife, they cry a bit, and then they learn that "drugs are bad" so everything is fine :D

NO!!! Why don't you write about a friendship that doesn't get mended? A chronic illness they now have to pay huge medicine bills for? A fucked-up rap sheet that they can't escape?

And it's not because we want to punich addicts. It's because it doesn't matter if you care about addicts if you don't care about the messy shit!

It's easy to sympathize with an addict if you make them the most innocent victim who never hurts someone intentionally and who gets rid of the addiction in a second and never struggles with it ever again!

Do the hard shit. Make your readers sympathize with the unsympathetic asshole addict! Addicts aren't always good people! They can be dickbags. And they still deserve resources. Life isn't some kind of karma game where dickbags suffer and good people rise! Everyone deserves to not suffer!

Addiction is ultimately a disease. But it's a disease that can make someone you love into an absolutely unlikeable person. And this is coming from someone with an alcoholic dad <3 He does good things and bad things. I can sympathise with my dad and not let him walk all over me.

C) Withdrawal Is Leaving An Ex, Relapse Is Returning

Addiction is a motherfucker trying to leave. It's basically the equivalent of a clingy ex who keeps contacting you, asking for just one conversation, and the moment you so much as acknowledge them you are fucked.

And suffering the brunt of a clingy ex who won't take the hint tends to cause the same symptoms as withdrawal!

Obviously, withdrawal symptoms depend on what type of ex you have and what age you are and yada yada yada. Research for specificity :)

Withdrawal symptoms can include:

Headaches

Insomnia

Fatigue

Hallucinations

Seizures

Tremors

Cravings

etc.

BE AWARE: Relapses are when someone returns back to their drug if they were going cold turkey or going back to their original dose. Relapses can sometimes result in an overdose due to the fact that the brain has been weened off the substance and is now overwhelmed by the high dose.

Relapses often happen when a person makes the deliberate choice in order to stop these fucking nightmarish symptoms. To use the analogy of a clingy ex, you start talking to them in order to tell them to stop contacting.

Relapses can also happen through being in a setting where the behaviors associated with the addiction such as sex, gambling, drinking, substance use, and all manner of things are normalized.

This setting could be a party, a bar, or even a friend group.

Relapse is made more likely if someone is self-detoxing away from a support group or a doctor.

Writing about withdrawal and relapses are an important part in making a story feel more authentic. Just like with mental illness, people rarely learn the lesson and follow it perfectly. They make mistakes. Slip back into old habits. Do shitty things.

We aren't writing their suffering to punish them. We are doing it because you can't say you care if all you are willing to do is look at the easy parts.

D) Little Tidbits To Keep Track Off

This is the miscellanious things that didn't fit into their own boxes.

Friends!

Do they have friends who also have their addiction? How do they hang out? What are they like? How are their substance using friends different from their non-addict ones?

Slang!

Don't just look up slang for your substance of choice. You'll need to look at some first-hand accounts of addiction. Find an influence who has struggled with substance abuse in the past and see how they talk about it!

Variables!

Remember to keep their geographical location, socioeconomic status, time, and a host of other factors. If your character is a penniless alcoholic then it's unlikely they'll get their hands on some type of expensive gin. They'll probably use rubbing alcohol. Keep the price of your drug in mind.

A character's status will also impact their slang. No one unironically says doobie anymore.

A character's location will also impact how they get their shit and how other characters will react to that addiction.

A character's financial status also impacts how the consequences of their actions impact them. A low-income character wont be able to afford the same medication as a rich addict. They also won't have the same luxury for quality therapy, rehab, programs, time, anything really.

Look At The Addict And The Loved Ones

Try not the skew the reality of addiction to paint the addict as the victim and the loved ones as evil for not being forgiving and tolerant enough.

Keep sympathy for both the addict and the loved ones. Or drop sympathy for both of those characters.

E) RESOURCES

FDA and DEA online databases and drug resources

Social Networking Groups

Medical Journals

Local medical professionals, police, and medical examiners

The US national poison center

[thornfield13713]

Oh, brilliant, shout at the girl having a very obvious breakdown. I'm sure that'll make everything better.

Joyce, I can sort of understand - she's out of her depth, and scared, and she and Buffy seem to have in common the instinct to lash out when backed into a corner, when they feel vulnerable and overwhelmed and terrified of loss.

Willow- is at least doing her best. Her best isn't great, but she's trying to get across that she loves and misses her best friend and that she wants to have Buffy around, even if she's not great at it, and she is angry, which she's allowed to be even if it maybe isn't the fairest response. Especially as she's also lacking context for why Buffy maybe doesn't feel like she has Willow in her corner right now.

Xander, on the other hand, I would quite like to drag behind a car right now, because he is just being a truly unspeakable prick. You want to talk about selfish and stupid? Not telling the girl who has to save the world about all the factors at play because of your own self-righteous sense of what ought to happen was both. Arranging this whole party to avoid Buffy when she was clearly going through a rough time and not up to it yet was also selfish and stupid. Xander may get the brunt of my rage here. I think it's the 'I'm wise and know better than you' tone when he's talking utter bollocks. Sadly, this never goes away.

And- I'm sorry, boy troubles? Buffy just had to kill someone she loved. Partially because of Xander and his high-handed decision to not tell her that the curse was being re-cast. Angel might've been a godawful piece of work, but she loved him, and killing him traumatised her, and that's on top of being kicked out of school, framed for murder, and then thrown out of her own home!

Cordelia- is at least making an effort, but doing it in typically blunt fashion, though if one more person blames Buffy for the Angelus thing, I am going to start biting people. But she is still making more of an effort to empathise with why Buffy might've done what she did than any of the people Buffy would normally consider her closest friends, and that's just...sad.

[beardedmrbean]

Dean Cain, who grew up in Malibu, California, told Fox News Digital that all of the homes he once lived in there, and in nearby Pacific Palisades, have been destroyed during this week’s Los Angeles-area wildfires.

"I ended up having three different houses in Pacific Palisades, one that I owned, two that I rented and lived in," Cain said. "The three of those Pacific Palisades’ [homes], all of those burned, gone. Pacific Palisades looks like someone dropped a nuclear weapon on top of it and just flattened everything. I've never seen anything like that. Also, three of the houses that I lived in in Malibu are gone."

The "Lois & Clark" star called the devastation "shocking and horrific, but not unexpected. It's part of the reason I left California was this perfect storm of mismanagement and a failure of leadership."

Cain said that when the Woolsey Fire hit in 2018, it burned his backyard but not his house.

"We're used to this in Malibu," he explained. "We get the wind, we get the fire, so we know how to deal with it. But when you have all the… tools taken away from you, no money, no brush clearance, no controlled burns, all of those things, you end up with a catastrophic situation like this."

Cain said that although his house survived the Woolsey Fire, his fire insurance was canceled afterward, adding that was part of the reason he left California for Henderson, Nevada, in 2018.

Adam Carolla Rips California Leaders For Running State ‘Into The Ground’ As Fires Rage: ‘Lunatic Nutjobs’

"There's so many of us that have been shouting from the rooftops, including President Trump, numerous times, way back in the day during his first presidency," he continued. "He's been saying it, mismanagement is going to cost you. Removing money from the fire budget is going to cost you. Not controlled burning is going to cost you. Failure to reservoir the water, it's going to cost you."

Cain placed the blame squarely on Democratic Gov. Gavin Newsom.

"You screwed up, Gavin Newsom. You screwed up," he said. "There was plenty of water. Last year was record rainfall or the year before, record rainfall. Snowmelt, reservoir the water."

Cain said his water bill was in the thousands per month when he lived in Malibu, and he couldn’t get fire insurance for less than approximately $40,000 a year.

His son helped him realize that he should leave the state by reminding him that he keeps "complaining about the tax policy, the lack of common-sense policies. Why are we living there?"

"I was like, ‘Why are we here? What am I doing?’" he said. "And it was weird to leave my home forever, but to come here now [Henderson, Nevada] and to be in this gorgeous home with great policies, you know, castle doctrine, ‘stand your ground’ stuff and things like that, I'm like, ‘Wait a minute, this makes perfect sense.’ And then to watch the disaster unfold, I'm horrified. My heart is broken for the people who are suffering at the hands of this mismanagement. But I'm hoping that that will teach them about common sense."

He added that "good times create weak men and weak men create hard times."

"Weak policy creates hard times. We're now in hard times. We need to have strong men so we can create good times again. That's the way it is. Strong men and women, sound policy. Everybody's going to be in a better position," said Cain.

Cain went on to say that he believes liberal people in Hollywood have usually "voted for all these things that really don't affect" them, "but when it does affect you — you can't get a permit to rebuild or your house burns down or people loot your home afterwards — suddenly you love the police, you love the firefighters, you love people that you've been denigrating for years. You want common sense policy."

"So once it affects you, your votes change," he said. "And I think this is going to turn a very, very blue state, much more red. I'm hoping California becomes purple and I'm hoping that — listen, my heart goes out to those who have lost everything. And I know they're going to go through years and years of red tape, nightmare, memories gone. It's going to be one of those catastrophic events in their lives. And I hope that this will wake up people so they'll start voting for policies that make sense, common sense, and they'll prepare for this sort of thing in the future."

Because he lives in the desert, Cain said he has enough food in his car to last for several days and that he and his son have satellite radios in addition to their cellphones to communicate with each other.

Like What You’re Reading? Click Here For More Entertainment News

"Not that I'm a survivalist or a prepper, because it's common sense," he said.

But, Cain said, "when you see a tragedy of this magnitude, you see how amazing the American people are, and they come together."

"And there's been an outpouring of support, food, water, necessities," he added. "We are the most giving nation in the history of mankind. We will continue to be, you know, as fractured as we can be, [but] there are times in natural disasters, in war and things of that nature, where in the United States people come together. And it's wonderful to see that happening. It's going to be a very long, tough road."

Cain noted that with the nature of the national news cycle, the wildfire devastation would be replaced by more recent news within a few weeks, "but all of these people's lives are turned upside down."

"I cannot fathom the scale of what's happened to the Palisades," he continued. "It's stunning to me. Palisades High School, gone. I mean, football games. I played at Palisades High School. Dozens… It's gone. It's just gone. Like so much of my childhood is gone. I moved away because of the terrible policies. It's just heartbreaking to see it happen. I don't want to say I told you so, but I told you so."

Cain said his mother, who is with him in Nevada, can’t stop crying watching the devastation.

"The house they built from the ground up… is gone to the ground," he said, adding, "my mom's been crying for two days."

Cain added that he feels leaving Malibu for Henderson is "one of the smartest things I've ever done."

"I feel like I've been freed," he said. "Just so many people are just going to be like, you got out just in time. And I did. And because I was blessed to have the means and I had a son, my son Christopher was like, ‘Dad, let's go.’ And life is so much easier here and so much better. Beautiful neighborhoods and much more value for your dollar… super low taxes in comparison to California, super low regulations in comparison to California. Smarter policy… we’rein the middle of the desert here in Nevada. We have better water rights, and the water is, they say it's expensive here. It's cheaper for me to get water here than it was in California… So absolutely [the] right move by me."

[zeroducks-2]

2/16/20/22/25 violence ask game GO

Help I realized now how many are there lmfao alright here we go

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

Actually I don't really have it? I mean I do have a preference when it comes to blorbo roles in bed but it's not that strict. I don't think Dick would ever top WITH SLADE though, and my compelling argument is that he prefers bottoming and Slade wouldn't fucking let him top lmao

But then again this IS the choose violence ask game, so I am gonna choose violence:

I'm fed the fuck up with the whole "if you have strict sex roles for your blorbos you are a reactionary fascist enforcer of gender stereotypes whatever, or anyway the heteronormative society brainwashed you, especially if the 'shorter man bottoms' and the 'bigger man tops'". Like shut the trap man. First of all cause my sexual preferences are not up for political scrutiny because they are just that - sexual preferences when it comes to fiction - and second because this is the exact kind of piece of shit virtue signaling antis do, injecting moral and political bullshit in what people do for harmless fun in their free time. And third because acting like in real life people didn't have strict preferences for topping or bottoming makes me think you never interacted with real life people.

Like yeah lots of folks are versatile in bed. There are also lots of folks who are strictly tops, and lots of folks who are strictly bottoms. Go out and talk to people, you will find out incredible things I promise.

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

The whole "batfamily" being a happy wholesome family with all of them being supportive loving siblings UwU and living all together in Wayne Manor each one with their cute little personalized room that Alfred cleans every morning after breakfast. These folks do not communicate with each other and have never lived together. They lack the basics foundation to be a big happy family. Yes they love each other, yes some of them are closer to each other than others, and yes there are moments of tenderness, but why the hell would anyone push this Hamtaro-esque "everyone lives in a wholesome house of happiness🌻✨" bs is completely beyond me.

It makes no sense and it's just so utterly divorced from the actual state of canon, and from just everything that defines these characters as individuals and as a group.

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

Well the DC canon is so vast there's actually lots of canon I found boring. I guess when it comes to blorbos, I was not able to stomach the entirety of the Ric Grayson storyline. Like honestly it was most of all boring as fuck.

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

EOBARD BEING IN LOVE WITH BARRY.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

"You guys don't write about/draw/create meta about female characters because you're sexist"

I've explained why this is utter bullshit many times but to be honest, with DC it is especially annoying. There is a HUGE fandom for female DC characters, even for those that have not appeared officially in comics for more than a decade. DC has some of the most beloved, celebrated (and famous!) female characters IN THE WORLD (Batgirl, Supergirl, Wonder Woman, Catwoman, Harley Quinn), and if there aren't decent titles dedicated to them you need to blame DC, not the fans. Also sometimes there are decent titles with their fanbase of art and fanfics and metas, and yall complaining just because you're addicted to virtue signaling.

"Ah but Zero! I like X female character that appeared a total of 10 times 25 years ago, and all I can find are Jason Todd fanarts!" Let me stop you right there my friend, and ask you whose fault is it that X female character hasn't appeared in 25 years, which means no one fucking knows who she is so they don't draw fanarts and write fanfictions. DC comics executives, or the fandom? You think I'm happy that post reboot they acted like Cassandra and Stephanie didn't even exist? You think I'm happy that Barbara's struggle and journey to learn to live with her disability and become the backbone of the superhero society was thrown in the trash? You think I'm happy that Pat Trayce is relegated to ONE ridiculous cameo in Deathstroke 2016? Or that no one has seen Jenni Ognats since the fucking 90s? IS ALL OF THIS THE FANDOM'S FAULT, OR DCs' ??? (I'm done)

AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE PEOPLE WHO GO "bUt zErO iT'S miSogynisTiC to bReaK uP a HeT CaNoN shiP to pUSh tHe faNoN gAy cOUpLe" You don't belong in fandom and you clearly have no idea how it works. And if you DO know how it works, you're either a psyop or a hardcore homophobe, or both, and you don't belong in fandom and you should fuck off faster than light. (okay I am actually done now)

Ask game here!

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

anyway necessary abuse analysis after I watched the episode bc like. c’mon I cannot avoid that.

as of episode 12, obviously i do not know much about ozai, azula (I am spoiled to hell on this show i know she exists), and even really zuko (i was not expecting him to be that obviously a child at that moment jesus fucking Christ) but i think there’s a lot you can gather from specifically the dynamic of abuse set up.

ozai clearly sees his children as extensions of himself- less as people and more as status symbols he can throw out if they stop working. and that’s really shown in the way zuko was abused. not just the very obvious severe physical abuse- not only did he severely and painfully scar his like twelve? maybe? year old son, but he likely at the very least also severely hampered his vision (look at his eye, it’s noticeably unable to open properly where the scar tissue is) and disabled him for life)- but specifically how it was set up to publicly humiliate zuko.

the agni kai was a public spectacle- there’s so many people in the audience, it’s horrifying to think about (though thankfully it seems that it's not entirely common knowledge)- one where he humiliated and degraded zuko for his lack of “honour”- which was him showing compassion and him being a child who loved his father and was terrified of hurting him and just wanted to know how to fix things. it’s a very calculated, deliberate act of abuse, and considering the severity it almost certainly was not the first instance- in fact, zuko's immediate apologetic behaviour and terror at the idea of his father seems to suggest he's been abused before, being (understandable) trauma responses.

i think the way azula acts supports this even further- she’s not at all surprised at the, again, very very severe and visceral physical abuse happening in front of her, only reacting by grinning. she has seen this before. not to this extent, nothing that left scars- or at least, obvious ones- perhaps not even prior physical abuse, but her brother being humiliated and made to feel small and worthless in front of her is something that is simply normal to her. zuko gets abused, and she watches proud that it isn’t her. it’s abusive to her too, in that sense- it’s a threat of violence, if she ever makes her father lose face. their existence is to make their father look good and to be useful- and if they aren’t, they’ll be discarded in the cruellest of ways. that is just something the two grew up knowing, one way or another.

and like, this is clearly why zuko is like that. he’s obsessed with honour because that is a tool that has clearly been used against him to justify his fathers abuse even before this- it’s an ideal he strives for because he thinks it’ll make him worthy of love. and that’s all he wants, for his dad to love him, because he is still a teenager and inherently trusts his parents and blames himself for his own abuse because of that. if he was abused and discarded, it’s his fault in his mind. he needs to fix it, he's the problem in the family. he's fixated so heavily on it because he’s convinced that it’s the only way anyone would ever love or care for him at all- and even the love his uncle shows him can’t convince him otherwise, because he can't accept the idea that he even deserves it. zuko might appear cocky, but he’s the opposite- he’s been brought up to view himself and his worth only in the value he served his father, and cut off from that he sees himself as someone worthless, someone completely unlovable, and he's desperate to fix it, because he views it as his moral failure.

i just. ugh. fucking hell. i am killing ozai with my bare hands those are children those are Tiny how can you look at like young Zuko and fucking do that he’s so obviously a child and it’s so clear this is not the first time this has happened and I’m killing and maiming. ow.

[lara-prism-light]

If my Transformers AU was a Moba game (like LoL): Optimus Prime

Dialogues:

Start of Match: "Autobots, transform and roll out!"

Common dialogue: "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings.” "We will not give up until peace is restored." "For Cybertron! For Earth!"

Tunt: "That was Prime... Okay that was terrible."

Joke: "Can you say that I am... more than meets the eye?"

Interactions: 

To Bumblebee: “You didn't need to join this war, But I admire your bravery". "Your voice will be heard again." "Cliffjumper just cares about you, don't blame him."

To Elita-One: "When we were looking for peace, that's not what we wanted, is it?" "I miss your songs." "I trust your judgement, but you should be stricter with me." "I'm your leader, but that doesn't change anything between us."

To Prowl: "Your sense of justice is admirable, but I would like to say the same about your morality." "Everyone has potential beyond their initial function." "You and that beastformer... you know what, I'm not even going to ask." "Jezz says you have a temper, I don't think he knows what a temper looks like." "We're clergy, but that doesn't mean I'll tolerate bad treatment among my own."

To Ratchet: "You always think of others before yourself, maybe a change would be good?" "Your support will always be welcome."

To Arcee: "You have a lot of spirit for a small bot." "Your curiosity will kill you one day, and I would love for it not to happen." "What was it like to be an explorer?" "Be careful not to get hurt!" "Pay attention to your surroundings."

To Ultra Magnus: "It's an honor to fight alongside you." "I hope Rod isn't too much trouble for you." "I wish I could have met you before the war, I believe we would have become good friends."

To WheelJack: "Let's find them, all of them." "Your inventions always surprise me. Usually in a negative way." "Can you not blow things up for five minutes?" "Now I understand why Ratchet tells me not to take my eye off you."

To Hot Rod: "This is not a game, Hot Rod, focus on the mission!" "You're worried about Bee, aren't you? Yeah, me too." "Ultra Magnus talked about you. We need to talk..."

To Jazz: "Jazz... never change." "Your trust in Prowl is admirable, but you don't need to defend his every decision." "You have a good spark, too big even for you."

To Ironhide: "You blame them too much, old friend." "I understand your anger, but don't let it dominate you." "I've seen firsthand what anger can do to a person..."

Against Decepticons:

To Megatron: "What happened to our dreams?" "I know there is still good in you." "I never chose to carry the Matrix." "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings... And that includes you." "We were brothers once, what changed?"

To Starscream: "It's hard to trust you, but it's also hard not to sympathize." "Your desire for power will be your destruction." "Actions have consequences, learn from them.", "I wish I could help, but I question whether I should.". "Your pain is not deserved, but much less is the pain you impose on others." "I'm sorry for what he did to you..." "You still have someone by your side, don't make the same mistake I did, don't turn your back on them."

To Barricade: "Prowl trusted you." "His violence always disturbed me..." "You can't impose your twisted vision of justice on others!" "It's ironic how much you hated criminals..."

To Any of the Seeker: "Are you satisfied with what you do?" "I always heard that Seekers were a hive mind. And I preferred to believe otherwise." "Individuality is what you all deserve."

To Soundwave: "I've heard a lot about you, but never much from you." "You were the one who started the cause, weren't you?" "Megatron trusts you more than anyone else, you must feel honored, right?" "You're a quiet type, aren't you?"

To Shockwave: "You were a brilliant scientist... What did they do to you..?". "Wheeljack trusted you... and you betrayed him."

To Breakdown: "Your strength is brute, but you lack strategy." "You could do a lot more, but you waste it on competitions."

To Tarantulas: "You've been here longer." "You and Prowl seem to have a history." "Your experiments are as terrible as Shockwave's!"

Don't take this too seriously, I did it just for fun lol. But I will say, there are some clues to the story here.👀

[jikookuntold]

I Said What I Said

Years ago, I had a friend who was a hardcore Jikooker, but she used to scold me for not admitting that Taekook have a sign together (that triangle thing). "My cousin and I have a sign together and we carve it everywhere, same as Taekook. It really doesn't mean they are dating. I don't know why you are being so stubborn!" She used to tell me. And I was like Why would I blindly accept something when there is no real proof? I won't even do it with Jikook theories, let alone something Tkkrs made out of thin air.

This thing went on and on between us, and that friend left Jikook fandom shortly after, because when the flood of Jikook moments subsided in 2019, she blamed JK for not being loud enough anymore, and didn't want to "look like a Tkkr". Then she became a Vminer and then turned into a PJM solo because it turned out Tae also wasn't very attentive of Jimin. Later we lost contact and I don't know what happened to her, but I always wondered why she was behaving that way.

Later, when I had more experience and observation on shipping patterns, I found out what was causing that behavior; Shippers have this pick me attitude of "I'm not like the other shippers". You can see it in every shipping community, but it's more common between Jikookers. Jikookers always believed they are superior, and they might be right because Jikook moments and proofs have always been on another level. This "looking down" on other shippers made them so scared of becoming like them.

It might sound ridiculous, but this mindset in its extreme level throws them deep down to the point of accepting other shippers and even antis theories, but not their own theories, just because they don't want to be seen as delusional but chill with everything, and they end up as a woke one.

It's funny, but since the day I posted about that so called JK leaked video, I'm expriencing a sense deja vu because I got a few DMs and comments from Jikookers telling me I have to accept that's JK in the video, and nothing is wrong with it because a backhug doesn't mean they are dating.

I have to say you don't need to educate me on that because I have been here for enough time to not get insecure for a hug. All I'm saying is, I'm not going to admit a blurry video spreading by JK's antis to tarnish his image not because it challenges my Jikook beliefs, it doesn't, it's because of the lack of evidence. You say you don't want to be like Tkkrs who denied Taennie video in Paris. I don't know about you, but I wasn't able to admit it at first, even though the quality of the video was okay, and I already knew about them both being in Paris, plus, it was posted by an actual journalist. I only could confirm it after seeing them in the same outfit in more clear photos. Because in the world of celebrities anything is possible and you should be always skeptical.

Let me explain, I'm not saying that if you think the person in the video is JK then you are an anti. Not at all. It's your opinion and you are free to have that. All I'm asking is be considerate about what you think or spread or force to the others when there is not enough proof. I am not going to confirm that, not even hypothetically, until there is further proof or a confirmation. Otherwise I am not going to discuss or mention that topic here, and I will delete any asks or comments about it.

I hope you understand. Thank you.

[freckles-dean]

Here are some of my thoughts on Young Royals S3 ep 1-5

I’m just rambling here. This is probably going to be long, all over the place and not well articulated, so bear with me. 

And before I talk about the show, I just need to say that it never ceases to amaze me how incredibly talented all the actors are.

First of all, I don’t blame either Simon or Wilhelm. They are in an incredibly stressful situation. They are bound to make mistakes and I think their actions while being stubborn and lacking common sense are understandable.

I really loved Simon this season and i was so exited there was more of a focus on him. We finally got to some of how everything affected him. It broke my heart to notice he wasn’t the loudest in the choir anymore and then him saying he’s not enjoying music. Side note: Dude had some banger lines this season 

I find it ironic that everything that Wille found attractive in Simon’s in s1 became things that Simon has to shut down in order to be with him

If you told yesterday me that today me was actually okay with an August redemption arc, I would not have believed you. This in no way excuses his behavior, and he still has a lot to work on, but I think it was one of my favorite parts of this season. 

I am not at all surprised by the Erik thing. since s1 I kept wondering when Willie's perfect image of him would come crumbling down, but can’t imagine how devastating it would be to learn that the person who was there for you the most was not this perfect person you thought they were and might not even accept you.

I was rooting hard for Micke and Sara. I knew it was unrealistic that he wasn’t going to hurt her again, but it was still so heartbreaking that he couldn’t pull it together for her. I think there are bigger issues going on than his ADHD that needs to be handled. 

Why does the queen get space and help with her anxieties and grief, but when Wilhelm is struggling he gets no support and is seen as embarrassing and problematic???? 

Why the fuck was it Wilhelm's responsibility to teach Simon what not to do? Obviously, this kid who has never been in the public eye has no idea what he should or shouldn’t do, it almost seems like it was deliberate to get Wilmons relationship to fail idk. It would have been so easy to get something to teach him some basic media training. It's just disturbing how the court had absolutely zero regard for Simon’s safety. 

I’ve seen people talk about Wilhelm being controlling over Simon. Is it acceptable or excusable behavior? Absolutely not, but let me put things into perspective. Wilhelm was raised in an abusive and very controlling environment. His opinions and feelings didn’t matter, and he was told it was love, so it made sense that he would try to do the same for Simon and expected him to go along with it. I think expecting Wilhelm to have healthy relationship skills is unrealistic, and the show never pretended he did. It’s been pretty obvious throughout that Wilhelm consistently projects his feelings and emotions onto other people. 

I still don't know if Simon was breaking up with Wille or not, or they were just trying to frame it that way to scare us (honestly hoping it leads into a more mature conversation), but if he was… Wilhelm had it coming. He hasn’t been handling things very well and is taking it out on Simon, which is just not okay, and he doesn’t deserve that.  

Before this season, I wasn’t sure how I felt about Wille abdicating, cause i still had this fantasy in my head of him as this queer king, but after everything I’ve seen this season, it’s so obvious how much this institution is killing him. He needs to get out and heal from his traumas and find out who he really is without all those rules and pressures.

I don’t even know if I want Wilmon to be an endgame. Obviously, I do, but at this point, I don’t think that’s what’s best for either of them. It’s been very clear this season how much they don’t (at the moment) fit into each other's lives.. Either some major things have to change (Wille abdicating) or they need to split up. I just hope that both boys get a good ending, even if it’s not with each other. 

I don’t know... I’m emotionally exhausted, there are so many plot lines and I really don’t know how they are going to fix everything in one episode.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Gray Woman 2

Warnings: non/dubcon and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Lloyd Hansen

Summary: You meet a man who tests your patience. (grumpy!short!reader)

Note: To those who didn’t help me resist this beast, I blame you.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

The bank is at peak hours. The rush used to make you dizzy but these days you barely notice the changes. There's always someone else waiting. There's always someone upset about money and it's usually their own fault.

You tap through a transaction, working from muscle memory as you ask the usual questions, hit the usual keys. You hand over their card and point them to grab their receipt from the machine on the other side of the glass. The take both. You're used to the the lack of a 'thank you'.

You wait for the next customer. When no one shows, you peer up towards the line corralled behind the stanchions and cords. A man in his suit, more interested in his phone than reality. A woman behind him clears her throat, "excuse me."

He jerks away from her as if she spit on him and scoffs. He rolls his eyes and tucks away his phone as his eyes flit up to you. He approaches as he continues to feel around under the chest of his jacket. He reveals his black card as he gets to the counter and slaps it down.

You watch him dulcetly, "hello, sir. How can I help you today?"

He scoffs again, this time louder. "That's Mr. Hansen, remember?"

You look at him, this time with actual consideration. Your customers are usually nothing more than faceless silhouettes. He sports a bristly mustache and shaved sides. Quite the look to go with his patterned suit jacket.

"I get a lot of customers, sir," you reach through to take his card and he catches your fingers. You flinch, just a little, and try to jerk your hand free. "Sir, let go or--"

"Yeah, yeah," he chortles and releases you as he slants his lips defiantly, "you call over those fake cops standing at the door. What do you think they'll do about it, sweet cheeks?"

You feel a crease between your brows but you don't bit the bait. Some people just want to spread their misery. You quickly snatch the card and swipe it through the machine. His account pops up on the screen.

"What do we need today?" You ask.

"Hm, besides a coffee and some afternoon delight," he snickers, "I need you to move some money for me, sweetheart."

You ignore the epithet. It happens often. The 'hons', the 'sweeties', the 'girls'.

"I'll need an ID." You say.

"We've been through this," he snips. "Just do what I tell you."

He steps closer to the window and you turn to blink at him. He stares back at you. He grimaces, "you really that stupid? You forgot me already?"

"Like I said, sir, it's busy--"

"Go get Veronique, right now," he demands, his nose almost touching the glass.

You put your feet on the bar and step down to the floor. You move stiffly, if not deliberately slow, and shuffle in your flats toward Veronique's cubicle. She sits behind the frosted siding and you tap on it before peeking around.

"Customer," you shrug.

She huffs, "ugh, I swear."

She stands up and leaves her cell phone on the desk. You back up and wait for her to pass before you follow her. She struts to your counter and in an instant, her posture changes.

"Mr. Hansen, you're back!" She chirps, "comment ca va?"

"The damn crow you got squawking back there is asking for my ID again."

"Is she?" Veronique hisses, "forgive me please. I promise, we will make sure this doesn't happen again." She turns and points to your chair, "just do what he say and stop bothering me. Mr. Hansen is a VIP customer. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am," you answer. You already know you'll get a lecture later so you don't hold back the subtle snipe.

You get up on your seat and face Mr. Hansen, "what do you need? Money where?"

He chuffs out derisively, "I know your fucking with me, doll face. You remember me."

You neither confirm or deny. Truly, you deal with so many demanding managers and executives, that you might have seen him an hour ago and not realise it.

"Are we moving money out of the checking?" You ask.

He sighs and shifts, leaning on the ledge as if trying to see around your screen. He grumbles before he speaks up. He tells you what to do and you acquiesce. He gives you an account number to wire money out then announces the end of your work.

"Good girl," he winks as he stands straight.

"Do you need your receipt?" You ask as you reach for your mug, tasting the cold peppermint tea.

He watches you sip and his cheek ticks. "I need that about as much as you need that stick lodge up your ass."

It's a bit more on the nose than you're used to. Usually they call you a bitch or just huff and puff and stomp out. His effort is a bit too much. Especially if he thinks himself so important.

"Have a good day, sir," you close out of his account with a click. "Mr. Hansen," he snarls.

"Alright," you say and try to see around him, ready for the next in line. He hesitates before he backs off. When he does, a squat woman comes up and hands you a check. She slides through her bank card and ID. You put it through the scanner then ask her what account to deposit or if she needs cash.

As you issue her receipt, you glance up. That man stands by the door, his face furrowed in distaste as he glares across at you, then he spins and strides out. Hm, maybe it wasn't the same man… you can't tell that far away.

You wish the woman a good day and the next customer comes up. You peek at the clock. Still a while left. Sometimes it feels like time slows down, like the bank isn't subject to the typical laws of time a space. A special purgatory just for the forsaken tellers behind their windows.

[thatcheeseycandle]

//OKAY TO THOSE WHO ARE IN THE TTTE/TIDMOUTH SERVER, OR ANYONE WHO SEES THIS, YOU KNOW ITS TIME FOR A YIAU REACTION

TW SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRETY OF CHP. 37 AND SOME BITS OF A GOLDEN SOUL

(Notes on my last post will be at the end)

OHFMSJAHAJAKSHDHSJAJSHD ITS HERE YEAHAHAHAHHDHD ITS HERE FRESH OUT OF THE OVEN

Oh OH THEYRE THERE ALREADY THEYRE AT THE HOUSE, MANSION, WHATEVER IT WAS

Ah gosh RIGHT THE HYBRID THING. Thank God I did a refresh read before this chapter came out

GADWALL BEHAHAJDB HOLY GOSH

"She has to be okay. I can't just abandon her!" Oh you loyal man, considering she's not.. Yknow in there anymore, I'll be bracing myself for whatever emotions are to come to both Oscar and the readers BEGAJAKDJCB

"You're going to be a part of this family very soon, need I remind you" YEAAASSS THAT TOO! Still feels like a feverdream to now see that these two are engaged considering long ago they were a bit messy with their relationship (aka, A Golden Soul and perhaps many other series-es)

Wait a click GADWALL IS A SILVER SOUL????

Okay now that adds onto my theory of (most likely) all the revived constructs (aka people like Quicksilver) being silver souls, cause to think about it I think Gold dust would've been too limited (most likely) around the time they were actually revived

So then, silver souls were one of the few ways to get ehm back during said times, as to not risk wasting Gold dust

But then- It wouldnt make sense considering HENDRICK HAS VILES OF GOLD DUST but I suppose it could've been gained around recent years and not like by the minute he was revived

ANYWAYS CONTINUING THE CHAPTER! I'll be saving those theories for seperate posts I suppose

Sorry Oscar you just YOU GO WITH HIM TO TELL HER THAT, SHE REALLY REALLY NEEDS TO HEAR IT.

"I know. You always come back running to me, one way or another." Considering a lot, same goes to you Truro to Scot LMAOAIDH

Woag WOAH GADWALL

WHAT ON EARTH?? IS THIS IMPLYING THAT SILVER SOULS HAVE ABILITIES SIMILAR TO THAT OF A GOLDEN WARDEN OR IS GADWALL ONE?????

GOOD LORD-

Oop OOOOOOO WE'RE BACK TO MAYFLOWER AND (Actually) BLUE PETER

Lack of stamina, waif WAIF WAIT

I might post the note I saved this theory on onto my tumblr after this, but is this- IS THIS BLACK SMOKE

Okay now thats sortve an exaggeration considering lack of stamina can be a sympton of a lot of things, BUT ANYWHO CONTINUING ON

Oh yikes YIKES OKAY, INSISTENT, NOTING THAT DOWN

I love how 9F was used in that sentence, fits well!

Friends FIRUABAB OKAY WE GETTING INTO THE LITTLE PEEKS LETS GO

"He'd push everyone that might have given him a place to rest his wheels." Sorry I just I nearly exploded at that sentence, ITS SO AIHFJDUFH Its relatable in a way

CLASS 37 MENTION LETS GOOOO

Her name has a ring to it, lovely!

"We so rarely get larger engines visiting our small piece of paradise."

"Excuse me, I'm a larger engine!" mAYFLOWER BEHAHAJDBXNZ

CRACKED ME UP RIGHT THERE LMAO

(Insert words that describe me just going suddenly quiet reading Blue Peter's thoughts and basically whats happening between the three)

Now wasnt that lovely! Yknow yhe title card got me all tense when I read out Blue Peter's name when I started reading this bit LMAO CAUSE I THOUGHT SOMETHING WAS GONNA YKNOW YEAH HAPPEN

HOLYGO I NEARLY LOST MY OXYGEN, BITTERN MY GUY HAHAHAJAHDHXN

"You act like this is a common thing, Grey"

"That's because it is!" I am not getting over these two australians BEHSJDHDB THIS IS ONE OF THE MOMENTS THAT GET MY CURIOSITY ALL UP FOR FLASHBACK BITS TO PENDENNIS' PAST

shy SHYAHAHAJFB

I love how this bit of the convo is just:

"Well you didnt tell me!"

"How could we? We didnt even know shite about how it works for you!"

FIAYR DUDT

New nickname for Gold dust, Fairy dust

Grey that is one of the most poetic interesting things you've said HOLY GOD

Honestly I cant blame them, even if they knew, that sentence wouldve been magnificent either way

"I mean, who better to run a railway museum than an engine, right?" The way Olivia is technically half an engine (or is she?) and now theres this lad BEHAHAJAKDH

Wait GREY. LORE BIT LORE BIT- Okay I mean why am I surprised, SILVERFOX AND WHO I SUSPECT TO BE BLINK BONNY WORK ON THE BLUEBELL RAILWAY OF COURSE THERES CONSTRUCTS LIKE THAT

(For context, in aGS Godred says he met this person named "Bonny" alongside Silverfox when he was on the Bluebell, but thats from what I remember)

Aait WAIT HORATIO HE

IS THIS IMPLYING HE ALSO TAKES A SIMILAR ROLE????

Waut WUAJAJA OHMYGOD GOLDEN CIRCLE MENTION, GOLDEN CIRCLE MENTION FOLKS

WELL SAID HORATIO WELL SAID (I am speechless)

Oh God OH GOD

OKAY FINALLY THEY REALIZE THAT

WELL SAID EVERYONE.. WELL SAID (I am still speechless)

Oh so THATS WHY THEYRE CALLED WARDENS ITS OHMYGO IT MAKES SOME MORE SENSE NOW

Wait WAIT. HOLY SHIT

THE FUCK YOU MEAN THEY WERE THE ONES TO RUN IT????? THIS

IT MAKES SENSE NOW, WHY THOSE PRICKS HAD ACCESS TO BLACK-SMOKE RELATED THINGS LIKE YKNOW THE LITTLE CANISTER THAT CAUSED SCOT HIS NIGHTMARES AND THE VILE OF BLACK SMOKE

ITS A FUCKIN CORRUPT SYSTEM

Well damn I never expected that a corrupt government would pop up in YIAU, but then again YIAU is basically collecting every type of trauma so LMAOHDGHD

Oh wait he isnt blue in this timeline LMAO NEARLY FORGOT ITS STILL 2023 IN THIS

YoYOYOYOYOO A GNR SADDLE-TANK LETS GO

Yeah YEAAHH FIGHT OFF THOSE OLD HABITS LETS GO BLUE PETER

"It was what enamoured him to that King Class, his dearest Eurion" dare I say the term- BLUE PETER YOU BEHAJDHXB I SEE YOU

"He had always been good at hiding what ailed him. So why was he failing now?" WELL THAT SHOT DIRECTLY INTO MY HEART DIDNT IT

Ohmygo💥💥💥 This is why I love Mayflower, LOOK AT HER SHES JUST YEAH

SHES GOSSIPING WITH HER FRIENDS BEHAJDHDND

Cold and the pain. THE COL-

OHMYGOD OKAY YEAH THIS EXPLAINS THE TITLECARD, WELL I MEANT MAY EXPLAIN BUT YKNOW YEAH

Well I be damned, thats actually kind of true in a way. BUT I MEAN SHE IS TECHNICALLY DIRECTLY RELATED TO THEM AS A NIECE (referencing another chapter I unfortunately forgot the number to but I'll put it in the tags if I do remember it)

AH CRAP I GOTTA EAT DINNER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD- ILL COME BACK TO THIS DRAFT SOON

I AM BACK YEAH LETS GO

"After accepting Tornado he realised just how alone he was." Well THATS. THATS SOMETHING TO BE SHOT BY ON A FRIDAY EVENING

(Insert just a cacophony of "WHAT"s, "NO"s, "STOP NO"s, "LORD"s, and then silence just reading this bit)

"Don't ever feel sorry for being sick, this isn't the 50s or 60s anymore, you won't get scrapped just because you've got a rivet wrong." wHAT IS WITH THIS CHAPTER AND IT'S DEEP QUOTES

But still, wise words from Mayflower right there

Ohmygod. OHMYGOD. I JSUT

I PREDICTED IT AGAINMYGOSOAOOAOAO

THE BLACKSMOKE THE OHVYAJAOAOAOAIDB I THEORISED IT AND I WAS CORREFT

WELL SOMEWGAT CORRECT BUT I WAA CORRECT ABOUT HIM HAVING BLACKSMOKE OHMGYODOAOAKJZBXNX

OH NO ONONNOOBOOO NONO BLUE PETER HOLD ON TO YOURSELF

BE STRONG BE STRONG

NOOOOOOO BLUE PETER NO

(Future me here, I screamed my lungs out irl and my gosh I was not okay since I waa processing a lot of emotions LMAO)

Oh shet its Lode Star OKAY YEAH ITS MUSEUM TIME GUYS

OH ITS THIS BIT BEHAHAHAJXHX

Ay AY WATCH YOUR THOUGHTS ON DOTTI THERE

"He refused to admit it, but he had missed her too." YIEEEEE MALLARD ADMIT IT ALREADY

Woah WOAH KING GEORGE

OOOOOOOO DRAMA LETS GOOO

Wait. King Edward II WAIT. WAI TNOU

NONONONONOO WHAT NO THIS NO NONONONONO

MALLARD FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU JUST GOT BACK NOOOOOOOOO

(Future me here yet again reading over this review before I post it, I was in silence for a while processing this LMAO SO YEAH YKNOW THE EMOTIONS WERE DOING THEIR THING IN THIS CHAPTER)

ANYWHO. GOD THAT- THAT WAS HARD TO SWALLOW

Yet again another well delivered chapter by RedWryvernWrites aka Baku! The emotions were REALLY tugged on in this chapter, anxiety was the main emotion in this LMAO but I did also appreciate those little spills of lore in the mix!

Anywho, I'll see you lot in my next post then!

[randomly--accessed--memories]

Went through the RAM playlist and picked out all my favorite lines

I still don’t know who you are / I only know that I’m still lonely / That morbid sort where even company can’t cure me / And the more you reassure, the less I trust - Against the Kitchen Floor

All the king's horses and all the king's men / Couldn't put me back together again - All the King’s Horses

Make me pay for fucking up the rest of your life - AND I’M GONE

Take my identity / All the best parts of me / And mould them into what you want! - Another Tuesday Night

And it’s my problem if I have no friends and feel I want to die - Are You Satisfied?

A prison’s not always a dark place / With grey closed in walls and big loud chains / They can hide in the skin of a home - As Above So Below

Someday I will go back outside and see her, okay - Baby Hotline

Reborn / Reform / Twist my legs to one / And mind to none : Don’t leave me be / I’m a bathtub mermaid / I cannot swim but only sing - Bathtub Mermaid

I feel like / I never knew you / And I never wanna know you again - Better Off Gone

In this case, just won’t you go and please let it be / Because I still won’t be able to say sorry - Breaking Things Into Pieces

Tell me when to drink, tell me when to eat, tell me when to smile, tell me when to breathe / Tell me when I overreact / No, tell me again, please / I love being told what to do, but only when I'm told by you / At least, that's what I used to think, but nowadays, I'm on the brink - Cannibal

Take this pill, you'll feel much better / When you wake up numb and your brain's been severed - Careful What You Wish For

Take a good look this is me / This is what I’ve come to be - The Chattering Lack of Common Sense

They say they wanna help, but they always fucking leave - CODE MISTAKE

When did I become a man / Trapped inside a ghost? / If you could only see me now / I know I'd disappoint somehow - The Comfort of a Laugh Track

You'll be fine you honeycomb / Who could ever hurt you? Who could be so cold? - Community Gardens

I’ve become what you like / I am what you wanted, right? - Copycat

Stay asleep / And blame / Everyone for giving up - Cross

Oh, circumcise my love for you / It's far too vapid and aimless - Cupid

Under my skin, you're unwrapping / All that I am, I swear / I wanted to keep, I wanted to stay / Deep in your head forever / I wanna show you something / Melting through my brain / Every time you're around / You're assaulting me - D D D N N N A A A

Carved right into my head / Quick lobotomy / Then left me for dead - Dangerous

I don't think I know myself, without your help - A Dangerous Thing

Buried in the basement, cold cement / Dead comes talking, can’t put them to rest - The Dead Come Talking

So I’m taking your narrative, and I’m making it mine - The Dismemberment Song

I’m gonna be in love forever cause I’m gonna die tonight : Transformation complete, transformation complete / You are now, as you once were: beautiful - DOGMATICA

Well, who should I be then, if I'll never be the same? - Dr. Sunshine Is Dead

I’m black, then I’m white / No! Something isn’t right! / My enemy’s invisible, I don’t know how to fight - Echo

And so long to the person you begged me to be / He's down, he's dead / Now take a good long look at what you've done to me - Farewell Wanderlust

You hurt me / You hurt me / But it's all okay / Because I love you anyway : I have no clue what you’re saying / I’m gonna lose my mind! - Folie a Deux

I was shown my place, but I didn’t care for it - Gambler

I get to be dumb, you get to exercise control - GIRL HELL 1999

I’m not her / And I’ll never be / I’m just debris - Going Insane

You told me something along like / The lines of “It’s all my fault that you are the way you are” / That is right, it is all your fault / But I hope you just remember that it's not all there is to it - Heavenly You

A vivisection of me / Done by God for all to see - Honey I’m Home

Am I a toy to you, my love? / Just a thing to play and / Then throw away - A Human’s Touch

My love must be a kind of blind love / I can't see anyone but you - I Only Have Eyes For You

Me and the TV are enemies / Sickening static surrounds my mind - I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead

I've got you under my skin / I've got you deep in the heart of me / So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me - I've Got You Under My Skin

You say that I’m better / Why don’t I feel better? - Karma

Do I know who I pretend to be / Of whom am I a copy? - Language of the Lost

I only turned out to be just one more girl you slew - Let the Record Show

There’s an old voice in my head that’s holding me back / Well, tell her that I miss our little talks - Little Talks

You’re just a clown, just a pet / Whispering love yet again - Loveit?

Some moments last forever, but some flare out with love, love, love - Love Love Love

And now, even though you're mad, and these memories won't stay / That's okay / Cause now I get to meet you for the first time every single day - Marbles

Die once every three minutes - Marijuana’s a Working Woman

Doctor, I can’t tell if I’m not me - The Mind Electric

You want a taste of my brain / Okay, it’s yours anyway - Misery Meat

You were never my god - My Creator

The girl is like an architect / And I am just the new invention - New Invention

Please spare me indignity / And won't you please give me some decency? / And won't you please call it if our time is through? / Cause I know that we fall apart when nothing's new - Nothing’s New

I know exactly what’s best for you / I’ve don’t exactly what’s best for you - Novocaine

You're not a coward 'cause you cower / You're brave because they broke you / Yet broken still you breathe : Cause I'm not trapped, oh with you, you see / You're the one who's trapped with me / Cause you are in the earth of me / You are in the earth of me / My head's not yours, it's mine / And I'll take my fucking time / 'Cause I know, I know, I know - The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace

Novocaine, lobotomize me, teach me how to think - P3T

Safe from pain and truth and choice and other poison devils - Pet

What’s a pound of flesh between / Friends like me and you - Pound of Flesh

Folded puppets in a chest / Satin, static, lost in manic - Puppeteer

Close your mouth / And your eyes / And your heart / Your new eternity lies with us - Return to the Motherland

I get high to leave all these problems on the ground / Then to my surprise, they're right there when I come back down - Riptide

Look at me, look me in the eyes / Forget yourself, surrender your mind / Right now, you're mine / All mine / Give in, you're mine / All mine - Rule #34

Must be lonely loving someone / Try’na find their way out of a maze - Should’ve Been Me

There's something quite enjoyable when someone is destroyable - Sink or Swim

You hung me on your wall / Stabbed me with your push pins / In public, showed me off - The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

Now it sounds so good to me and it used to sound so good to me! / It doesn't sound so good to me, it never sounded good to me! - There’s Something Happening

This, this, this is not love / I don’t know what it is / But I know this / This is not love - This Is Not Love

You’d say that things have improved, right? - Those Who Carried On

I made you my temple, my mural, my sky / Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life - tolerate it

I know / You belong to somebody new / But tonight you belong to me - Tonight You Belong to Me

So she dressed me up as the man she loved / Then threw me in a box when she had had enough / Now the light of day I no longer see / She stuck her voodoo pins where my eyes used to be / Accidentally tragic / Victim of her black magic / Had a boy once who loved me / Now he's so afraid of me - Toy Boy

The things I see are a dread I must withstand / On my own - Uncanny

I don’t think there’s anyone under your skin - Under My Skin

I wanted someone tall and firm to reassure that I'm doing this right / But it's starting to hurt when you hold me tight - Unreliable

When I'm too far gone / Dead in the eyes of my friends / Will you take me out of here - Watercolor

Stranger things than death can happen / To lab rat girls and pretty white rabbits - …well, better than the alternative

And when you scream, "I'm not alright" / And throw my picture at the wall / You were supposed to be my light / And keep me safe against them all / "How could you leave me here?" you'll scream / And louder, I'll scream back to you from that unknown / And say, "I know you're strong enough, I know you're strong enough / I know you're strong enough to do this on your own” - Welly Boots

Transformation / You've changed within / Some selfish mutation / A stranger I once called a friend - What Have You Become?

My head is spinning, I am beaten in the end - White Happy

Just take me as I am / A memory so vivid / And savor all the parts you can / Cause no one mourns the wicked - Wicked

You don't have to say you love me / Just be close at hand / You don't have to stay forever / I will understand - You Don't Have to Say You Love Me

[antisemitism-101]

What do you wish non-Jews understood about Zionism?

Hi friend!  I am unspeakably thrilled that this is the first question I got.

What do I wish non-Jews knew about Zionism?  My number one wish?

Jews define 'Zionism' differently than non-Jews do.  Especially right now.  That's causing miserable communication problems.

I know that’s a lot to unpack, so let me break that down.

How do Jews define Zionism?  Inconsistently.

The only common thread connecting different Zionist beliefs among Jews is: a Jewish state of Israel should exist.  I've seen Jewish people call themselves 'Zionists' to refer to anything from:

"I have been fighting for Palestinian liberation for decades.  I also do not want Israel erased from the earth.  It is full of Jewish people who were kicked out of surrounding countries the moment Israel was established, and where else could they go?"

to

"How dare you criticize anything Israel has done??"

To get a sense of how diversely Jews define 'Zionism', take a look at this Wikipedia article on types of Zionism.  Nine different definitions of the main branches of Zionism, many in conflict with each other, and that's without including "Christian Zionism".

Jewish definitions of 'Zionist' are frequently also based on personal relationships to Israel.  There's a longing for a state of Israel embedded into religious Jewish ritual (small example: since the 15th century, Jews have said "Next year in Jerusalem" at the end of Passover); many USA-based Jewish people have actually been there because of the Birthright Israel program, which sends Jewish kids to Israel for a week at no cost; and many of us have family or friends there.

How do non-Jews define Zionism?  Infrequently!

You’ve probably seen calls to deplatform Zionists, or seen 'Zionist' used to mean pro-genocide, pro-settler-colonialism, and probably racist against Palestinians.  (If you haven't, keep reading: I include some examples later this post.)

But how many times have you seen anyone actually define the term?

It might seem like you don't need to!  Like everyone knows what the term means.  But in an Ipsos/University of Maryland poll last June, right before the conflict, almost 2/3 of people in the US had no idea what Zionism meant.  More than twice as many as had an opinion on it!

I blame that confusion on a lot of stuff, the lack of a single Jewish definition among them.  But when a term is that loosely understood, there’s room for whoever to come up with their own definition. 

What kinds of communication problems are happening because of differences in how 'Zionism' is defined?

1. Legitimate grievances are getting lost in arguments over language.  People are talking past each other’s pain.

In May 2024, there was supposed to be a "Confronting Hate Together" exhibition at the Wing Luke Museum in Seattle—a joint project by AAPI, Black, and Jewish groups about our shared history of facing prejudice.

That was always going to be a challenging exhibit to plan in 2024.  I already mentioned frequent Jewish personal connections with Israel.  Solidarity between Black communities and Palestinian communities is particularly strong right now (here's a history of that shift from Black support for Israel to Palestine) and AAPI groups frequently count Palestinians as members.  Collaborations were likely to be prickly and require delicacy and clear communication.

Neither happened.

Instead, a museum-approved panel written by the Washington Jewish Historical Society included the following language: "On university campuses, pro-Palestinian groups have voiced support for Hamas (which is classified as a terrorist organization by the U.S. government) and a Palestinian state stretching 'from the river to the sea,' a phrase defined by the erasure of Israel."

That phrasing shouldn't have gotten approved by the museum.  It should barely have been a first draft.  It insists on a single, hostile definition of 'from the river to the sea', one that many Palestinians would disagree with, and also to me implies that all pro-Palestinian groups are pro-terrorist: not exactly 'together' material.  Walking out over it is understandable.

But that's not what the main criticism was of the panel: it's that it was Zionist.

The accompanying Instagram post added, "Zionist language in the new exhibit "Confronting Hate Together" sets a dangerous precedent of platforming colonial, white supremacist perspectives and goes against the Museum’s mission as a community-based museum advancing racial and social equity."

Listing 'Zionist language' as the problem is too broad to be actionable. And insisting Zionism is a 'colonial, white supremacist perspective' is going to put any Jewish group whose definition of Zionism doesn't include white supremacy on the defensive-- which is basically all of them. (Side note: please, someone ask me about whiteness and Judaism! I want to answer an ask on this SO BADLY).

Even if those Jewish groups are ready to hear and adapt to specific critiques, the opportunity for them to do so has been lost.

To me, nobody won this miscommunication.  The people who walked out got their demands met, sure, but the entire exhibit got scrapped—an exhibit, again, meant to bring Black, Jewish, and AAPI communities together in solidarity.  The executive director of the Wing Luke Museum resigned four months after the walkout (it's not confirmed the two are directly connected, but I assume they are.)  And the Washington Jewish Historical Society, instead of having any further opportunities to course-correct, build solidarity, and maybe be more empathetic to pro-Palestinian groups, displayed the exhibit, alone, at a single event in September. I'm genuinely sad about the whole thing.

2. 'Zionist' is being used as an excuse to shut Jewish people up, whether or not they are Zionist.

Let me show you what I mean, and please stay with me here.

It's worth reading the whole Tumblr post this comes from, but I'm going to excerpt the most relevant part:

A few different things I would really like you to note:

A Jewish person, who is not Zionist, is being called a Zionist for literally no reason.  Nothing they said relates to Zionism or Israel; they have gone out of their way to repeatedly state that they are not Zionist; yet that is the response they are getting.

'Zionist' is being treated as a slur—a name to call someone to discredit and dismiss them.  And 'Zionist' is the last word of this post for a reason—it’s supposed to be the last impression passersby have of the argument.  Oh, of course I shouldn’t listen to this person’s concerns: they’re a Zionist. 

(You see this kind of behavior with 'pro-genocide' too, treated absolutely synonymously.  Both are popular responses when a Jewish person raises concerns about antisemitism—which I’ll show you next.)

These experiences are common enough among outspoken Jewish people that they are being collected, dated, and timestamped.

Here’s another example of this in action, this time about the celebrity Stephen Fry:

For those who don't click through, Stephen Fry's speech, in its entirety:

"I am Stephen Fry, and I am a Jew. The great Irish thinker and writer Conor Cruise O'Brien once said that antisemitism is a light sleeper. Well, it seems to have woken up of late. The horrendous events of October 7th, and the Israeli response, seem to have stirred up this ancient hatred. It's agonizing to see all violence and destruction that is unfolding, and the terrible loss of life on both sides brings me an overwhelming sadness and heartache. But whatever our opinions on what is happening, there can be no excuse for the behaviour of some of our citizens. Since October the 7th, there have been 50 separate reported incidents of antisemitism every single day in London alone, an increase of 1350%, according to the Metropolitan police. Shop windows smashed, stars of David and swastikas daubed on walls of Jewish properties, synagogues, and cemeteries. Jewish schools have been forced to close. There is real fear stalking the Jewish neighbourhoods of Britain. Jewish people here are becoming fearful of showing themselves, in Britain, in 2023."

Stephen Fry is here talking about concretely threatening acts of antisemitism that have happened since October 7.  Swastikas painted on the walls of Jewish community structures.  Jewish businesses getting their windows smashed in.

The response was "To hear him conflate antiZionism with antisemitism has shocked me.  To see him show no care or support for Palestinians has broken me… Smashed windows vs carrying your dead child?"

Once again, Zionism is being brought up and used to discredit Stephen Fry despite not being brought up once in Fry's speech

Fry, a Jewish man, goes out of his way to mention that he is explicitly holding the "terrible loss of life on both sides" in his heart, but is characterized as "showing no care or support for Palestinians."

'Anti-zionism is not antisemitism' is being used to dismiss these concretely threatening acts of antisemitism as insignificant.  Especially upsetting acts of antisemitism, even: to Jewish people, when people perform these specific acts of antisemitism, breaking the windows of businesses and forcibly labeling Jewish buildings, it feels like not just an act of vandalism but a deliberate reference to the Holocaust.  A way of saying, we might not have the institutional power to wipe you out, but we still want to, and don’t you forget it.

These aren’t outliers: they’re patterns.  Basically every Jewish person who's spoken out about antisemitism this year has had the word 'Zionist' directed at them in these antisemitic, not just anti-Zionist, ways.  I’m happy to give you more examples if you want them.

3. Personal communication problems are happening, and Jewish people are hurting over them.

Imagine you are hurting, and you reach out to a good friend.  You tell them: please help.  I am sure you do not mean this, but you are repeating language people use to silence me.  You are calling for my friends and family to be shut out of community life because of their religious beliefs and/or personal ties.  That call is spreading further and further through my community.  I am afraid. I feel unwelcome.

What response would you expect?  For me, I would expect: oh my gosh.  How am I doing that?  How can I help?  Or at least: the language you’re objecting to means something different to me.  Can we talk through some shared language instead?  I don’t want to hurt you.

Imagine, instead, getting silence. Crickets. At best.

Imagine this as the main alternative:

You're overreacting.  That language isn't actually a call to exclude your family from public life: it’s directed at someone else.  The Bad Ones.  And you have no right to be afraid, or hurt.  Stop using your pain as a distraction from other people's real pain.

That is what this year has felt like to many Jews, along many axes—"Zionist" is just one of them.  And it especially stings coming from leftist communities. 

When Jewish people see misery in the world, we must act, because we, as a people, have gone through misery too. We've been kicked out of our homes; persecuted and killed for existing; been beaten up in playgrounds and kept out of schools.  We are morally obligated to use our millennia of misery to help people through similar struggles.  To heal at least some of the pain in the world. 

We have seen leftist communities act on those principles for our whole lives.  Have lived as part of those communities, extending our hands together in kindness and compassion to those who need it.  Now we Jewish people are reaching out for those hands, and can't understand why it feels like we're constantly touching air.

(If you are Palestinian, or otherwise directly impacted by the Israel/Palestine conflict: use whatever terminology you want.  You are going through something I cannot even imagine: I would never try to police how you talk about it.)

So, my helpers.  How can you help?

Show compassion for Palestinian suffering and support Jewish people who are scared.

You, reading this, have a big enough heart to hold both Jewish fear and Palestinian suffering.  I know you do.  I'm glad you are fighting for Palestinian liberation: please engage with Jewish people compassionately about our fear too!

Reach out to a Jewish friend and just… check whether they are okay.  Post publicly about some obvious incident of antisemitism and condemn it.  Someone caring, without being prompted, is a low bar that almost no one is hitting for us this year.  Doing so will make us feel so much safer and more loved.

Refuse to use 'Zionist' to dismiss anyone's unrelated ideas.  Call out that behavior when you see it.

Remember: 'Zionist' is used to dismiss ideas that aren't Zionist, from people who aren't Zionist, because they are Jewish.   In fact:

If you are not Jewish, Israeli, or Palestinian, choose a more specific word than 'Zionist.'

You don't need a special Israelis Only term to communicate displeasure. Even if you want one, 'Kahanist,' rather than 'Zionist', is the ideology responsible for Israel’s shittiest actions right now: see what I mean here (the Otzma Yehudit party is Kahanist).

Alternate words you could consider for complaints you have about Israeli government actions:

Imperialism

Cutting off aid

Nationalism

Displacement

Even genocide, I think my Zionist friend would agree, is better than Zionist-as-slur in terms of keeping Jewish people around the world safe.  (Zionist friend: "I'm not sure I agree that "genocide" is better than "Zionist" in terms of not inflaming antisemitism. It is a SUPER loaded term.")

If you, as a non-Jew, non-Israeli, non-Palestinian, must use the term 'Zionist', and I really don't understand why you must: define it up-front so people know what definition you are working from, and acknowledge that there are alternate definitions of the term that others might be working from.

If you see anyone calling someone a 'Zio', disengage.  That term originates in white supremacist communities, and engaging with white supremacist ideas is wildly unlikely to help.

If you feel like they are people you can reach and want to keep trying— I understand! But please, do it privately. Don't amplify what they are saying on a public platform.

===

Thank you, again, for caring to learn and wanting to help.  I appreciate having you as part of this conversation, and if you have any questions about, or even disagreements with, things I am saying here, I welcome you.  And if you have other questions about antisemitism you want answered: I am here for you.

[incendio22]

FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL

Chapter 12: One Step Forward

''I did some digging and it seems as if someone in my family will have a daughter named Merope. This Merope will meet a man and give birth to this dark wizard we all saw in the prophecy. At least that is what I think.'' Ominis explains. ''I have no idea who the little boy in the prophecy is, but all I know is that a lot of people are going to suffer from the supposedly evil wizard with the last name Gaunt. It almost sounds like a joke, now that I say it out loud.''

I am confused, as seems Sebastian. This may explain a bit of the prophecy, but there is still no explanation as for why this wizard was pale like snow, had red eyes and missed his nose. Nor what the boy with the scar had to do with it. There are too many questions that need answers before we can make a next move, if any at all. Given my lack of knowledge about prophecies and the limited information, it's too soon to decide what we are going to do. We need to know more, if the wizarding world really is at stake.

''How did you research the prophecy?'' Sebastian asks curiously, still looking confused.

''I did some reading. There was not much to be found about prophecies.'' Ominis explains.

I always found it fascinating how Ominis managed to read books with his wand. I know the wand chooses its wizard, but it still baffles me how much magic can do.

''Maybe there is someone we can ask.'' I suggest. ''Of course, it has to be someone we trust. So we don't draw any attention to us. Do we know an auror, or anyone with this knowledge?''

''Well... Not precisely.'' Ominis starts, but seems to hesitate. ''Anne wanted to become an auror. She read a lot, too.''

''She wouldn't want to help us.'' Sebastian says hasty.

''She wouldn't want to help you.'' Ominis corrects him. ''But if Y/n and I were to tell here that the entire wizarding world is at stake, she might be able to overlook the fact that you had a finger in finding this prophecy.''

''Ominis is right.'' I tell Sebastian as I give him a compassionate smile.

He looks disappointed, but seems to understand. Anne did after all write him that she was not sure if she could ever forgive him. But Ominis and I might have better odds, given that she is aware that we both did our very best to keep him away from dark magic.

''No one has seen her since she left Feldcroft.'' Sebastian says quietly. ''And I have no idea where she might have gone.''

''I'd say we leave it to me and Y/n to investigate.'' Ominis says quickly. ''They might keep information from you. Anne could have asked the villagers too.''

I nod in agreement.

''That would make sense.'' Sebastian admits and turns around, obviously upset.

Ominis tells us that he's heading back to the common room and I hope Sebastian invites me to stay with him in the Undercroft. He does, but the atmosphere is not nearly as warm as our last meeting.

''I miss her.'' He admits. ''I just hope she is okay. I can't believe I pushed away my own sister like that, when all I did was trying to help her.''

''Your judgement was clouded. Try not to blame yourself, please.'' I beg him. My mind wanders back to my lips on his hand, thinking that I will forgive him every day, until he forgives himself. ''You love her, you only wanted her to get better.''

He walks closer to me and puts his arms around me, folding us into a hug. It's not a romantic hug, but rather the kind of hug that occurs between two friends supporting each other. Yet, I feel the sparks in my chest and the butterflies fluttering.

''Thank you.'' He lets go of me and gives me a sincere look. ''You really are one of the best people I have ever met.''

I smile at him, unsure what to reply. Sometimes it's like we don't even have to communicate with words to understand each other.

''I wonder when this prophecy takes place.'' Sebastian says loudly. ''Is it happening in a year? In 10? In 100?''

''I have no idea.'' I admit. ''It would make things easier, though. Having some idea on what time-span we have to work with.''

After a long night of conspiring about the prophecy, we head back to the common room. I am really starting to appreciate our late night strolls throughout the castle. We never talk much, since we cannot afford getting caught by Peeves or waking the portraits up. But I enjoy his company. As we walk, he grabs my hand and intertwines his fingers with mine. I light up with joy, feeling the warmth from his hand and smile to myself. He notices.

''Did I just make you smile without saying a word?'' He says in a tone that indicates that he's proud of himself.

I nod and feel my cheeks flush. As always, I hope the darkness is working in my favour and hides it. Apparently, it doesn't.

''And... You're blushing?'' He says even more full of himself this time. ''God, who knew a Slytherin would look so incredibly stunning with red cheeks.''

He lets go of my hand and does a happy spin. I hold a laugh back, cheeks on fire and a lust that's consuming me. I want him so badly.

We arrive in the common room. We stand in the middle of the room, where we normally say goodnight before heading to our dormitories. As I start walking towards the girls' dormitories I hear him speaking to me.

''You're gonna be the death of me. You know that, right?''