#Which: Fair enough but if you're out there I would love to discuss this bc I'm a dub apologist

[cartoonsbyandie]

World's smartest man :3 in the worst fit you've ever seen

[onyourowndaisymae]

Yoo I have two request which I’ll send the other one separately but I am in an ANGSTY mood rn sooo yah also been binging ur headcanons and stuffs and I just love the way you write ?? It’s so entertaining lol

AnywY the actual request: can you write like a one shot or headcanons if you prefer of mc who is struggling after the belphie incident ?? Like they feel like they’ve mostly forgiven him and can act normally around him and they’re friends and take naps together but sometimes the flash back just HITS THEM and they have nightmares and panic attacks that can be so bad sometimes someone needs to get Simeon to calm them down. Maybe something of how the brothers react/treat mc and belphie? Idk I’m just thirsting for like MEGA ANGST rn bc my dad made me cry little bit lmao 😭

it comes at night

hello anon! i'm terribly sorry you're in such an angsty mood, though i thank you for all the love-- and for sending this request right as these ideas were on the front of my mind. it genuinely makes me so happy to see people enjoying my work, and it makes all the writer's block and such worth it. i cannot express enough how much i love seeing all the comments, reblogs, etc. as people engage with my work.

anyways. i'm not sure how i feel about this piece, especially with how LONG it ended up being, but maybe that's just my mushy brain talking after looking at it too long. regardless-- i hope you enjoy (well, y'know, in like a sad and angsty way).

synopsis: you thought you would be able to move on like all the others. your body was healed, your anxiety tucked neatly behind a mental wall built to keep you safe. yet something in you was stuck. you couldn't just move on. you were trapped in a battle between your friendship with belphegor and the fear gnawing at your brain as you remembered what exactly he did to you. when the dam finally breaks, your whole brain floods with terror, until you're swept away with it. nobody can save you now.

genre: angst, no happy end, just a big ol spoonful of sadness

word count: ~3.1k

content warnings: chapter 16 spoilers, graphic(?) discussions of death, depictions of panic attacks, nightmares, mc progressively getting worse from fear + lack of sleep

it's funny how time works. 

you'd been around your fair share of years. you’d grown, you’d changed, you’d spent your entire life looking toward the future you had planned. then you, a mere human, were yanked into an unfamiliar world. you spent an entire year in the devildom– a year that simultaneously dragged on and flew by– and came out the other side a new person. a single year in the devildom has changed you more than the human realm has your entire life. time was a mischievous thing, always leaving you chasing behind in a fruitless pursuit of something you’ll never quite understand.

but, she also brings blessings with her. they say that time heals all wounds. you've always agreed with that sentiment. scraped knees and adolescent broken hearts are swept away with the passing days, trailing further and further behind you until one day you forget to look back and remember them. the pain scribbled down on diary pages or cried into pillow cases no longer stings like a fresh burn. these things are nothing but scars now. time has a special way of patching you up, of rubbing your back until the tears clear up and you can finally see again. that is how it's always been. 

where is time when you need it? 

she hasn't quite abandoned you, this much is true. cuts and bruises heal over the passing days. your hair and nails still grow. your body still changes, slowly but surely, marching onwards week after week. yet your mind is trapped in stasis. you struggle to break free, but at times the rot consumes you whole, until you’re crying under the covers and begging from respite from the memories. 

on the worst nights, you find yourself in the attic again, watching the door between you and belphegor swing open. you watch yourself march towards death.

you can still feel his hands around your neck, digging his claws into your fragile human skin like you're made of sand. the scent of blood-- your own blood, on the floors, on the walls, leaking from your torso and staining your clothes a permanent maroon-- still clings to the inside of your nose. even your wildest dreams could not erase the sight of his smug grin, the way his eyes lit up looking at your battered body.

no one person should have to carry the weight of realizing they're going to die. that's what you thought about when your body hit the bottom of the stairs, when belphegor tossed you down from the attic with a harsh laugh and punted your limp body into the entrance hall. you thought about how unfair this all was. you were just trying to help. you thought you were doing the right thing.

one of the worst parts of your untimely demise was watching the others react. the voices pool together in your head, like the colors of the rainbow twisting together on the surface of an oil spill. asmo's panicked shriek blends into satan's angry shouts, desperate to understand what's going on. lucifer's yelling almost drowns out the fearful cries coming from levi, held back by a very silent beel. 

but above all of that, you remember mammon. your first man, the first demon who took a chance on the defenseless little human, rushing to your side and gathering you in his arms like you were about to break. his hand on the side of your face, the tears streaming down his face, the shaky, desperate voice assuring you that you'll be okay and begging you to hang on, okay? please don't leave me. you can't remember if he was shaking or if it was your body's last ditch effort to stay conscious-- maybe both. your trembling fingers intertwined with his. words came out of your mouth, and you're not sure what exactly you said, but he only cried harder in response. 

and then, as your eyes shut for the final time, you woke at the bottom of the attic stairs. you had cheated death. 

your price? you had to carry the memories. 

the world kept spinning. days passed in the devildom. you returned to school, kept on top of your homework, spent your days in the house of lamentation alongside the seven demon brothers. you even got to know belphegor as he navigated his return home. he quickly grew fond of you. that, in and of itself, was jarring. but you returned each and every smile with one of your own. his actions were rooted in his own grief for his sister, you knew, and for that you could not fault him. you helped him repair the severed relationships between him and his elder siblings, stitching the family back together like a prized quilt until the seams of betrayal were sufficiently hidden. 

time is a traitorous bitch. why did she choose now to leave your wounds bare and bleeding?

everyone moved on but you. everyone got to wake up in the mornings without a nagging anxiety holding them back. the others could hang out with belphegor day in and day out without a growing feeling of dread popping up when you think you're safe. 

he killed you. he was grieving. your blood drenched the entryway floors as he laughed. he has grown. you watched the light leave mammon's eyes as you slipped away. belphie has been nothing but kind to you since that day. you fucking died. 

you wish your mind could pick a side. did you forgive him, or did you resent him? was he your friend, or your killer? these answers evaded you in the dead of night as you struggled to sleep again. it was becoming more common for you to lose hours of rest to these nagging fears. who are you? are you even you anymore? did the switch in timelines scatter your atoms across countless universes, leaving the you that looks back at you in the mirror nothing more than a hollow shell? 

you thought that you could keep your mind on a tight leash, keep your cards close to your chest as you continued to live with the brothers. you were wrong.

the first meltdown came during a nap with belphie. you had grown to trust him-- you thought you trusted him-- enough to sleep around him. he'd coax you every so often into an afternoon nap. always in the light of day, always your choice. and for many afternoons, you were perfectly content with this arrangement. belphie was warm and cuddly, a perfect companion for a lazy afternoon. he had this way of making you feel safe as you slept-- the nightmares couldn't come when he was snuggled up next to you, when you were sure his actions were ones of affection and not another trick to gain your trust.

one afternoon, while the sun was beginning to set, you stirred under the warmth of the blankets. the body next to yours lingered close, steady breaths lulling you back to dreamland. you could stay like this forever, you thought.

and then you felt it. the gentle graze of a familiar cow tail against your skin.

something inside of you, a dam you didn't even know was there, snapped. a hot flash of panic rose up your throat as your whole body jerked away from the feeling. your eyes shot open and you found yourself in the last place you needed to be right now: the attic. you pulled yourself out of bed before your brain could catch up. colors flashed across your vision as a consequence. you whipped around, disoriented and upset, and spotted a sleeping belphie in the bed where you once were.

a sleeping, demon belphie.

the familiar curve of his horns made your throat spasm as you tried to breathe. the colors flashed in your vision again-- oh god, what a terrible time to be left defenseless-- as your brain tried to drag you back to that day. you could practically see his face shift from relief to malicious, insidious joy as he began to attack you.

"hehe... does it hurt? finding it hard to breathe? i'm sure it must be very unpleasant."

please. please no.

" i have to say, seeing a human face twisted in pain like this... why, it's so much fun that i can barely stand it! i... i can't contain the laughter!"

you weren't quite sure when you hit the ground, but it was loud enough to wake belphegor from his slumber. he peeled his body off the mattress, slow and dazed, as he looked for you.

"mc? what're you... what's going on?"

please don't. this can't be happening.

your lungs collapsed from the weight of your own panic. you gasped-- once, twice, as your vision went in and out. were you bleeding? your hand loosely brushed at the front of your clothes, but couldn't process whether that was blood or your vivid imagination. were you even breathing? your head felt light and heavy at the same time. the wires in your brain were all crossed, sending both resuscitation and shutdown signals to each part of your body. this feeling... this was too familiar.

were you dying?

"mc, what's going on?"

you came face to face with belphegor. your friend, your killer. the demon who had lured you up to this very attic to kill you, now gripping your shoulders as interrogated you inches from your face.

you screamed. you screamed until your brain shut off completely, leaving you in an inky pit of darkness as your consciousness slipped away.

the house was in disarray for several days. apparently, lucifer came in shortly after you passed out, mammon at his heels, to save the day. you woke up later in his bed, the room cold and empty, with a throbbing head and a tear stained pillow. you stumbled out into his office to find him at his desk, lost in some paperwork like always. the solemn look he gave you as your eyes met told you everything you needed to know.

from this day forth, your fear was now your constant companion.

nobody in the house of lamentation knew how to move forward. not you, not the brothers, not the widening gap growing between you all with each passing day spent in emotional limbo. finally, lucifer called everyone to a family meeting where, over the course of an hour or two, everyone came to an agreement to acknowledge what had happened and why, promised to be mindful of this trauma that you're carrying, and move forward like you requested.

silent days slowly but surely filled back up with laughter again. the brothers came back to your side at their own pace-- asmo first, within a matter of hours, then mammon shortly after, then the others in the following days.

belphegor was the last to come around. his silence spoke volumes about his guilt. he had no clue how to comfort you. he'd do anything to repent for his actions. yet that was the way that life worked, didn't it? some actions simply cannot be undone.

but you didn't let that stop you. despite the panic that closed your throat every time you saw him for the next month, you slowly earned his friendship again. you assured him that the attic incident was a one time thing, the remnants of a lost nightmare blending into your consciousness as you awoke.

until it wasn't a one time thing.

the nightmares crept up on you. the first one happened, of course, that same night, as you thrashed and wept into lucifer's pillows. then a week later, another. a week and a half after that, another. the frequency eventually became higher and higher, until you started planning your sleep schedule (or lack thereof) around your new insomniac tendencies. but even you couldn't manage to stay awake forever.

on a bad night, you'd wake up in tears, crying weakly to yourself as you tried to coax yourself back to bed. on worse nights, you'd shoot up out of bed, limbs tingling in fear, opting to spend the rest of the night in the common room until the others woke for the day. on the worst night, you finally broke. you shattered worse than you could have imagined.

you finally collapsed into bed, body shutting down after a three days of minimal sleep. you were starting to get shaky from the lack of rest, and your lack of appetite was upsetting the others. you crawled under the covers and let your brain slip out of your hands and off to dreamland.

what a fool you were to think you'd get by without nightmares.

visions of demonic teeth tearing at your flesh filled your head. you tried to run away, tried desperately to wake yourself up, but their claws sunk into your flesh. the pain was vivid, was real. memories of your death lived underneath your skin, ready to resurface in the dark of night when there was no escape. you fought back as best you could, kicking and screaming and trying to run, but you were no match for the supernatural strength of your demons. you eventually gave in, an act of learned helplessness, and surrendered yourself to your worst nightmares.

you woke up choking on your own tears. heaving, gasping breaths tried to save you, mixing with coughs as your body struggled to hang on. the tears finally gave way to the memories-- hot blood dripping from your torso, screaming faces begging you to stay, your head going fuzzy as your vision followed--and your screams escaped without a fight.

a mixed cacophony of voices came flooding in the room. you'd be touched by the gesture, seeking comfort in the arms of your dearest friends, if your brain hadn't reminded you that they were demons as well. nightmarish beasts with fangs and claws, predators built to rip your soft flesh from your bones and leave you to die like roadkill.

you felt a hand on your shoulder. who's was it? you could not tell. your first and only instinct was to scream for mercy, hot tears streaming down your face as mammon's hurt expression moved back out of your line of sight. your chest heaved with effort. it felt like your whole body was caving in on itself. you didn't even realize you were shaking as you curled your body into a ball. your side hit the mattress with a pathetic thud and you wept, bitter and fearful, as a panic attack kept you trapped in its grip.

you don't know how long you stayed curled up like that, wordless cries echoing from your room and into the hallway, but eventually the sound of approaching footsteps caught enough of your attention to forget the panic, even if just for a moment.

"hey, it's okay," a familiar, comforting voice approached, cutting through the fear like a moonlight on a stormy night. "mc, it's me, it's simeon. it's going to be okay."

you felt the bed shift under the weight of someone sitting down, and you blindly threw your body at the person before checking to see if it was really him. it took you a few moments to raise your head, and when you did, you saw him: simeon, your angel, blue eyes full of worry as he met your gaze.

you cried in his arms until you fell into a fitful, dreamless sleep.

the next morning was miserable, to say the least. breakfast was tense. they all watched you like a hawk, like you were a powder keg about to explode with one wrong move. you couldn't blame them. you were afraid of your own emotions, and on some level, you were afraid of them. your trauma was making you afraid of the very people you cared about the most. these brothers had welcomed you into their home, took care of you as you adjusted to life in the devildom, and yet you couldn't hold eye contact without breaking in to a cold sweat.

the only person who did not watch you was belphegor. he was nowhere to be found during breakfast, nor dinner, nor breakfast the following day. you tried to seek him out, but somehow the avatar of sloth had become a skilled sneak in his silence.

you finally caught him alone on day four of radio silence. you both had stayed home without realizing the other had also skipped school that day-- you, from the lack of sleep eating at your brain, and belphegor, with his usual routine of missing class to nap at the house of lamentation. he was curled up on the couch in the common room, basking in the warmth of the fireplace in his slumber. you decided to wait for him to wake up. you sat down on the couch opposite of the one where he rested and watched him, quietly, like he'd disappear if you dared to blink.

creepy? yes. but your brain was long ruined by sleep deprivation and gnawing anxiety to worry about such trivial things.

when he finally stirred, you gently called belphegor's name. he took a moment to finally look at the source of the voice, but when he did, his body froze as the two of you made eye contact. a few moments passed in silence. finally, he sat up and began to make a move to leave.

"wait."

he stopped, but his gaze did not meet yours. you rose from your seat and joined him on the couch. the youngest pulled his legs in, twisting his body into a defensive little ball, and countered your next sentence before you could even open your mouth.

"you shouldn't be here with me."

"i think i'm old enough to make decisions for myself."

he shifted uncomfortably in the silence. you spoke again.

"i miss you. and i'm sorry."

he scoffed to himself and stared at the fireplace. "don't know why you think you should be apologizing to me. i'm the one that's the problem."

"you're not a problem, belphie. i never meant to make you feel like one."

every hair on your body stood on end. your hands trembled against your wishes, so you sat on them to stay focused. you had to do this. you had to keep moving forward.

"i hurt you, mc. you're afraid i'm going to do it again."

you sighed-- it came out more shaky than you would have liked-- and looked down. how had it come to this? how had someone you'd grown to hold so dear become a stranger again?

"i don't want to stop being friends. i don't like when you avoid me."

"you still get nightmares, don't you?"

you pause. his icy gaze on the side of your head sent you into a cold sweat.

you smiled-- it felt more like a grimace, personally-- and prayed it didn't come across insincere. your fingers carefully intertwined with his. he met your gaze. you were thankful he couldn't see the way your chest tightened when you made eye contact. 

"i'm okay, belphie," you lied. 

this fear was going to be the death of you. 

[alatismeni-theitsa]

I'm not sure how much you keep up with Percy Jackson and its spin-offs, personally I like the series, but my G-d it is NOT an accurate portrayal of Greek mythology whatsoever, as I'm sure you're aware! Did you know that Rick Riordan set it in the USA because of how great western civilization is and how Western countries are more relevant to modern society? I'm not even joking or exaggerating.

Honestly, I do think that putting the gods in US America can be justified for the right reasons. I don't think there's anything inherently offensive about the Underworld being under LA or Olympus being above NYC. Especially with the demigod camp being on Long Island, like, okay, you wanna keep the gods close by. It's a story about an American middle-school boy, so yeah, it'll be very American. That's fair.

But the reason the author gives for it is so offensive! If this was a story about, say, the Egyptian gods, more people would understand why "west is best" is an offensive thing to say, but I guess it doesn't matter when the gods/culture being adapted is white passing enough or whatever the fuck.

(Tbfh even if he'd said that about, say, the Norse gods, or something else that is undeniably white, it'd still be disrespectful as hell. America-centricism is so fucking exhausting!)

It's actually disappointing bc, even though the books aren't true to Greek myth (don't even get me started on how badly they portray Hades and literally blame him for WWII and imply Hitler is his son), they've gotten so many kids interested in greek mythology. Oh sure, there's some weirdos who read the books and claim to worship whoever their "godly parent" would be, but there's even more people who truly got so much knowledge and respect for actual mythology from the books! And as terrible as the Greek representation is, the other representation is done really well, especially in neurodivergency/disability. I obviously wish he'd handled race/ethnicity (and religion) better, but for all the 'offensive' stuff that exists in the books there's also so many great things. So many different portrayals of love and friendship and bravery.

It's honestly no wonder the books are still a comfort series even for those who have outgrown them, and it makes the offensive stuff even worse, almost like a betrayal in some way. It's not like Rick Riordan is going out of his way to be a fatphobic antisemitic TERF like some other YA fantasy authors out there. He's someone who seems to actually care about representation in his work, which makes it all the times more hurtful when he *doesn't* care or when he writes stuff like that.

ooooh yeaah I unfortunately know all this and have posted about this 4-5 times already 😂 An extremely imperialistic view, this author has. But in this USAmericanized world, people need to do some deconstruction to see the fucked up aspects of these books. I wouldn't be opposed to seeing the Greek gods in other countries in general but the reason they went to the US is very problematic - and I don't throw this word around easily.

As you said the series has good stuff too and it has brought joy to many kids worldwide (me included), so anyone who likes PJO don't think that I'm shitting on it too much 😄 But there are definitely some things to be addressed there and that we should discuss. Like how the attitude of the writer only continued the sense of entitlement and ownership the West has over Greek figures. And because Riordan usually cares, it's sad that he let his cultural biases define his most popular series.

[iciatheguardess]

".... I believe it's finally about time I do this."

Icia sits down by her fireplace and starts writing down the same thing on many, many pieces of paper.

This is what she writes:

"Help Wanted to reclaim Digital World"

"I am forming a party to rescue a digital world from a tyrannical AI that is terrorizing and abusing many. Due note that this will not be a safe or small feat, and there will more than likely be many perils involved that could result in serious harm and death, or possibly abstraction. All help is appreciated, but this is not for the faint of heart. I will be willing to supply more details to any and all who are interested. There will be no 'reward' other than the honor of rescuing those in danger and access to a grand, royal, fantastical kingdom that shall flourish once freed (although hopefully, all will be able to access it once saved). Transportation will be by pirates across the void, and I can introduce all who would like to meet them beforehand."

"A letter will be sent out by wind to all who are interested/ willing to fight once plans are finalized and set in stone. I look forward to working with whoever is willing to join me."

"PS: Weapons and a strong sense/understanding of self are highly advised. You may visit me at my house or find me on a walk to ask questions in person, and I will answer to my best ability."

"With my utmost gratitude and fair wishes to you all,

Icia"

Icia finishes the flyers early in the morning, letting the wind carry some to varying locations and visiting other locations she knows of to post them. She posts the flyers at Candleton, the circus, the inn, Oceansbay, the bar, anywhere she can think of.

Now all she has to do is wait.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OKAY IM FINALLY FUCKING DOING THIS

GOD

Okay so.

You heard her

KINGDOMQUEST WOOHOOOOO

Here are the basic rules and info:

I do not have definite days for any of this yet. However, I'm aiming to be ready in 2-3 weeks.

Any number of characters are allowed to join, but you will only be able to rp 1 at a time (with exceptions if you have a good reason, like how Raina and Lance used to be one person). There will be checkpoints where people may switch to different characters between sections

Ik I said you can have as many characters as you want, but please ensure you'll actually use them. I'll try and make this long enough for everyone to use their characters at least once, but really there's no guarantee. Don't just add characters because you can.

I may do what Elsie did and split the quest into two parties. In that case, you can have one active character in each party. This is unlikely, but if it happens then that's how this will go.

THERE WILL BE NO CHARACTER DEATHS EXCEPT FOR THOSE THAT ARE DISCUSSED WITH ME BEFORE HAND. Any other "deaths" (losing all HP) will just be knocked out and unable to use for the rest of the quest unless revived. This also goes for permanent injuries.

No abstraction. None. Characters can get close, but there won't be any full abstraction.

No OP moves (that should be a given).

No Kingdom characters will be allowed to participate in the quest. They are part of the objective, not the fights. Even against Hexe, no CURRENT kingdom members will be able/allowed to fight

No being a smartass and finding loopholes or questioning the rules of the dungeon (you know who you are, love you <3)

Just so yall know what to expect. There'll probably be 4 sections, maybe just 3. There'll be a boss for each, and the very final section will just be Hexe. Plan accordingly.

PLS ask me if you're confused abt something. I'm probably forgetting a couple things to add here but shhhh, yall get the idea

If yall wanna do lore drops during this too, you totally can! If they're really big and will kinda be like a side thing, do be sure to let me know first!!!

Ok I think i got everything down....

Once again, ask me if you're confused abt something or have ideas bc god knows I need those. Also, be sure to DM me which characters of yours will be joining (if any).

And I think the only big delays will be for Dusk and Jessy trying to escape the Railroads AND me being lazy but Imma try and not have that second one happy

OH YEAH ONE MORE THING

THERE WILL BE LORE SCATTERED ABOUT FOR A COUPLE OF MY CHARACTERS, ESPECIALLY SOME THAT HAVE GAINED SOME POPULARITY...

KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED.

I'll reblog/edit this with any necessary information

But for now

GOOD LUCK.

(BTW you don't have to participate if you don't want to, it's ok to not be interested! Also if a character IS participating, just do a really quick in-rp post (or have them send a letter to Icia) & tag me in it so I know.)

[badedramay]

they claim to be feminists who like and want flawed heroines but only if their fav actor is playing them. a non-fav actor playing a flawed heroine in a similar vein as their fav character is "confusing" and "too out of touch with reality". the hypocrisy hypocrisizes like a hippopotamus xD

this is the part that bothers me the most. there's one user who's been quite popular in refuting criticism of fairytale and repeatedly implies the only reason people could dislike it is bc they hate feminine joy. fairytale is far from being the only show ever to center feminine joy. and i really dislike the implication as well that for feminine joy to be valuable it has to exist in an exclusive bubble where it can never overlap with struggle or more serious attempts to address societal issues. yunhi's a phenomenal example of how it's more than possible to balance both feminine joy and serious topics, and the relationships between women are arguably its centerpiece. i also think it's a really refreshing example of how to explore these topics without relying on sensationalizing them the way so many dramas do, so where are the fairytale fans championing it if they're so intent to promote less toxic dramas and more "green flag" representation? like you said, "green flag" representation is nice to a degree but it's not logical to exist within a sphere of toxic positivity either and esp when it's clear your support of such positivity is only exclusive to the media entities you're personally invested in

something else i'm also curious about is the lifestyle circumstances of people who champion umeed as a relatable character. i enjoy her immensely as a quintessential romcom element but realistically what young women in their twenties can actually afford to make so many serious financial mistakes while having a complete safety net to fall back on? that may be the reality for a large swath of upper middle class or upper class pakistani women, but i highly doubt it's the reality for everyone else and it's odd to act like people are simply women haters bc they want practical depictions of women on their screen. there's an unspoken conversation about personal financial privilege waiting to be had not only with respect to fairytale but with respect to a lot of dramas. and the more these viewers try to resist the constraints of the drama's romcom genre and act like it's comparable to dramas far more focused on class tensions, the more it looks like that conversation really needs to be had

You bringing up Yunhi is a great example of why FT fans at their core are also no different than TB fans. TB as a show worked on its chemistry, right? no one cared for any other thing there than the chemistry between the leads. isn't the same thing going on for FT? I don't see any discussions or posts about the show that do NOT revolved around the main couple. so like..why the smugness? wahan MeeraSim's contract was the hot topic, here it's the FarMeed shaadi. at the end of the day they are the two sides of the same fangirling coin. FT fans didn't spare one single chance of dumping on TB which fair enough, TB as a show was too problematic to not be criticized. but have the same courage to hear criticisms about your favorite no?

if what makes FT stand apart is its wholesome romance, green flag hero, flawed but still endearing heroine toh umm...isn't that the SAME thing going on in Yunhi??? I doubt we have seen a more REALISTICALLY green flag hero than Dawood. he loves his wife, he respects his wife, he is more than willing to uthaofy any nakhras she might have; he is aware of his wife's rights and is dignified enough to fulfill them without being specifically reminded to, he hasn't done any major grave sin that would demand redemption except hold her hand once to stop her from going but even that was firmly called out by Kim so he never repeated that. he stands up for his wife, he supports his wife both in public and private, he doesn't FORCE her to do anything and instead engages in open and honest conversations with her. yeah i don't see any championing for HIM as a standard for heroes. and we all know why's that - it's just cuz Dawood and Kim's story and romance is a lot more subtle and grounded and doesn't have the rom-com treatment that FT's main characters do. so bhayee seedhe seedhe bol do na ke you aren't fan of your show because it's breaking stereotypes and serving pathbreaking content - you just like it cuz you like to see attractive people romance in a glamorous world. just like TB fans liked watching attractive people romance in a larger than life context.

and you bring up AN EXCELLENT point about the disastrous financial choices of Umeed and how it's supported by the fandom. i'll once again bring up kdramas cuz FT is praised for being kdrama coded. kdramas are often called out for having uber attractive leads in head to toe designer wear who are then shown to be struggling financially. but regardless of the visuals of the characters, the writing of the dramas don't show them to be TOO careless with the concept of finances. even when the poor heroine ends up with the chaebol hero..we do always see her retain her dignity and self respect by taking charge of her own finances. she is always working hard and always trying hard to save money either to pay debts or for the security of her own future - even in the fantastical land, the dramas don't forget to make a statement of being careful with finances. in kdramas you won't see the topic of finances being treated lightly regardless of the genre. sure, a more realistic drama will show the actual grimmer side of poverty while a romcom one will still make things flashy. in either situations money doesn't come easy as a safety net for the main characters. and our financial situation ACTUALLY controls a lot of our life's decisions and our behavior.

i have seen Umeed, flaws and all, being hailed as the kind of representation the young audience connects with and the old people cannot digest someone happy and bubbly as her. which i feel is quite far removed from reality? Umeed is neither a true nor an aspirational representation of the "modern day heroine". idk where she's going on with FT2 but in FT1 she wanted a quick ticket to big money so she could have her own business. she got the money and proceeded to waste it. that's not relatably flawed, that's stupid. you give any teenager who has some dream this much money and they'll still have a solid plan in place on how to invest or spend that money. that's what the modern day youth is doing. they are doing WFH even while in college. they have flourishing freelancing jobs while they are finishing up their degrees. and they do it all while maintaining a good enough social life and academics. THAT'S relatable. THAT'S real.

i feel these criticisms and complains won't even come up if the fans just agreed to take this show as romcom with all the usual willing suspension of disbelief attached to it. but nope. since the start they have praised the show as something beyond its genre and then they get mad when the criticisms it gets also crosses the confines of the genre. they prepared this ground with their own hands..why the surprise now that the attacks are happening? Meenu from Chupke Chupke was also a conventional rom-com heroine with all her idiosyncrasies but the fandom never treated her as either an angel or a devil. she was just Meenu. clumsy, flawed, adorable - just a character written and performed as was the demand of the genre of the show. FT is the same genre. if the fandom has forced for different rules to apply to it to make it unique then that's exactly what is happening to them. unfortunate for them they aren't prepared to deal with it rationally.

[easyboi]

what exactly does not good with people mean? you seem pretty good at carrying on a conversation and expressing your boundaries, which seems at odds with that statement, especially since you clearly like some kinds of attention also, so its not just that you're entirely anti socializing? like, is it knowing things about your partners is unpleasant? except that seems at odds with you liking to know what people would do to you. is it something about expectations? if so I'd love to know which expectations, bc you seem honestly pretty normal to me, aside from the obvious issues, but they're hardly uncommon ones, esp among guys (the ones I've figured out, anyway)

to be fair, your main blog, a significant volume of writing, pics of your face, and explicit discussion of your preferred d/s role is more than a few things. but what you're describing is just being a good dom - I'm good, but hardly unique, P can clearly do it too. like I said, kink and non kink stuff influence each other, which means you can make some pretty accurate guesses about whatever you don't have information about, as long as you have a decent picture of at least one side. I'm decently sure I *would* like you psychoanalyzed, esp since you don't seem to want me to come out the other side desiring some sort of serious relationship, but you potentially having a bad time during is concerning enough that I'm prob gonna refrain from like, actually trying to horrify you.

anyway uh, edging lol? before you said its hard not to cum immediately if you stop and then start again, but like,, maybe there's ways around that

it means i'm good (or just okay, really) at surface level stuff, but anything deeper is Not there, and when people get to know me they figure that out pretty quickly. so yeah i like attention, and i like knowing stuff about others but once they realize it's not a two way street things end pretty fast (even if it's not like That ofc). so i guess it is expectations? i seem deep (to some) but i'm just a puddle 💀

that's fair, i don't hold back much ljkhfjhjhgsts. also fair re refraining, but i can't say i'm not intrigued despite the potential bad time, mostly bc people often get me very wrong. def better not to go poking tho lmao

also maybe not immediately, depending on how worked up i am, but with either enough time in between or being careful enough there's def a way to stretch it out. just gotta be Careful lol

[sevmch]

hq boys when you pepper them with kisses bc you're sad

characters: kenma, akaashi, kuroo

warning/s: none

genre: fluff, comfort

a/n: here's some fluff bc i think ive been writing too much angst lately aksjdkhskshs

kozume kenma

you were sitting next to kenma, staring at your boyfriend's face that had his game face plastered on his features in full concentration. you watched in silence as he played, cheek leaning against your palm.

this wasn't new, in fact, most of your time spent at his place were usually just you doing your own stuff while he played. you didn't really mind, wanting to just be around kenma and feel his presence.

he also loved having you near him, you knew that. but sometimes, especially when you're feeling down, it felt as if he didn't care a bit like right now. kenma cared a lot but he's no mind reader, so he doesn't exactly know you're upset because you failed one of your exams today.

but you really wanted to be close to him as some sort of comfort, so you moved away from the desk and lean towards kenma, resting your chin on his shoulders and catching him give you a side-eye.

"what're you doing?" he asked, focused on the screen again, fingers moving swiftly against the keyboards.

you shrugged, sighing deeply. "nothing."

"okay."

pouting at his lack of response, you placed a quick peck on his cheek. his brows jumped, the crease in his forehead disappearing for the first time tonight. you planted another one and another one and another one, soft and brief and lazy. kenma moved his face towards you when you stopped for a second due to the discomfort creeping up your neck from the position, your boyfriend whining at the sudden loss of contact.

now it's your brows that raised, not really expecting for him to ask more. he leaned closer, tilting his head a little sideways as a sign for you to keep going.

"why'd you stop?"

"my neck was starting to hurt, i thought i was bothering you though." you shifted in your seat to find a much comfortable position.

he frowned, glancing at you and quickly reaching for the neck pillow that sat on the far end of his desk.

"i love it when you do that," he said softly, pausing the game so he could put the pillow around your neck and cup your face gently. "you're never a bother to me."

"kenma," your lips trembled slightly when tears started gathering at your eyes, touched by his affection.

"i know you're not okay. i could tell since you got here. do you wanna get ice cream after and talk about it?"

you nodded, not saying a word because you were sure your voice would crack if you did and kenma knew that, ruffling your hair before turning back to his game.

"ice cream it is then," he said, pressing play. "i'll buy you two if you continue with the kisses."

giggling, you plant more soft kisses on his cheek, even massaging the back of his neck as you watched him play. later that night, he took you to your favorite ice cream parlor, listening attentively to everything you had to say.

akaashi keiji

you and akaashi haven't seen each other the past week due to both of your conflicting and hectic schedules. their practices were extended to later hours for the upcoming interhigh while you were busy with club activities. whenever you had free time, akaashi would be unavailable and vise versa.

you missed each other so much it hurts which was why the second you both had matching free time, it was spent on cuddling for hours on end. even when you were lying on top of akaashi, face hiding at the crook of his neck and feeling the rise and fall of his chest, you still craved for more.

thinking of having to separate and not see each other again for days made your heart sink into your stomach, nuzzling against his neck as if you could get even closer than you were already.

he ran his hand up and down your back in comfort, even giving a gentle squeeze on your arm to remind you he was physically there with you. you sighed deeply, landing feather-like kisses at his jaw.

"missed you."

"i know," akaashi said barely above a whisper, relaxing into the feeling of your soft lips on his skin. "i missed you too, love."

as you kept going with your ministrations, your eyes were wide in surprise when akaashi stopped you, leaning away just to turn to his side and face you. placing a hand at the back of your neck, you felt his lips on your forehead. then, you felt them next on the space between your brows, then at the tip of your nose, then at your chin.

stopping by your lips, he hovered, staring at you lovingly through half lidded eyes. blood rushed to your cheeks, heating up at the way he was gazing at you. slowly, akaashi captured your lips in his, pulling you forward by his hand on your nape as he moved his lips passionately you're glad you were laying down otherwise your knees would've gave out. it was sweet and short, slipping pecks in between before moving back a little.

"don't be so sad anymore, hm? i'm here now." he said, caressing your cheek with his thumb. the corner of your lips tug upward in a smile, releasing a contented sigh as you stared at each other for a little while.

kuroo tetsuro

he was in a middle of a phone call with yaku discussing about their chemistry homework and spitting out chemical names that were alien to you. it has been going of nearly an hour and a half and you were starting to get impatient, wanting to get back to the movie currenly paused at the screen before yaku called.

saturday nights were movie nights and it was an agreement that either of you must be free from distractions - no phone notifications, mentions of school works, and the like. unless it was an emergency. yaku calling wasn't an emergency, in fact, it was just to argue with kuroo that his answers were right and your boyfriend's were wrong.

and you wouldn't mind it if it were any other day but not today. not after movie nights have been pushed back twice in a row because kuroo has been too exhausted from training to even stay awake at 9 pm.

scooting closer to him on the couch, you locked him in place by putting your arms around his neck and resting your legs on his lap. used to your clinginess, he doesn't react - kept his mind on throwing insults at yaku.

so you proceed with your plan in mind. you weren't exactly placing kisses, just letting your lips graze the corner of his mouth to tease, knowing that it riled him up when you don't kiss him completely.

his free hand came to give your thigh a warning squeeze, a light chuckle leaving you as you kept teasing him, lips hovering at the side of his face. when you felt considerate, you'd kiss him lightly.

you're not really sure how long it went on but probably enough time for kuroo to give up.

"okay bro whatever, let's check it again on monday with kai and see who's really right. i'm busy, bye." with a tap on end call, he tossed the phone on the empty spot beside him before tackling you on the couch, making you shriek as your back met the cushion.

"my babygirl's such a tease," he said in a low, husky voice that sent shivers up and down your spine. before you could even utter a single word, kuroo's smashing his lips against yours, moving fast that it got you mind short-circuiting.

when you finally caught up with his pace and started getting into it, he pulled away. you whined, grabbing his collar to pull him down but doesn't budge, a smirk on his face.

"it's not so fun getting teased, is it?" he winked, clearly amused at your annoyed expression.

you rolled your eyes, groaning as you smack his bicep. "seriously kuroo?"

"what, you started it kitten. it's only fair if you get a little taste of it." he laughed when you scowled further, shaking his head lightly and giving you a sweet, gentle kiss. "sorry i interrupted our movie night."

"'s okay," you mumbled in between the kiss.

"we can make out for the rest of it, you know, a way for me to make it up to you," he said, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly.

you scoffed, but really, the idea sounded perfect.

"just admit you enjoy kissing me."

"mmm sure, whatever," kuroo mumbled as he dipped his head, capturing your lips again. maybe movie night being interrupted wasn't so bad afterall.

rb and feedbacks r sexy ty<33

2021 (c) sevmch | strictly do not copy or repost.

[sunder-soul]

OK WOWWW

I've been meaning to write again, and I agree with you on your opinion of Tom. Personally, after researching on psychopaths a fair bit (for one of my own OCs), I feel that—at surface level—Tom can be classified as one. But nevermind that now, bc I absolutely LOVE the way you write him.

Which brings me to...

WHITE DOVE O.M.G.

KING YOU ARE A BLOODY GENIUS ISTG. Part 6 was so damn well written. Like hOw?? I can't even properly write while sober, never mind drunk. You are so so talented, and I can't wait for the next fic you post (and maybe(?) a sequel?? )

The imagery of Tom just pleading and breaking down was just... pure fucking perfection (and I mean that in the best way possible lol). Keep writing King! You're amazing at it that's for sure. :)

Two-part super long response discussing Tom Riddle and psychopathy beneath the line!!!!

But also omg thank u for your lovely compliments on white dove, I really really loved writing that series so it's super gratifying to get all the positive feedback!!!! Hell yeah I'm geared for a sequel and it's just absolutely full of my fave fanfic tropes I am ready to self-indulge once more.

Pt. 1. I don't see any issue with headcanoning Tom as having a sociopathy/psychopathy personality disorder, I just really dislike when people don't do what you have done and don't actually research what that actually means. I think general media has been 'fascinated' by 'psychopaths' for the last few decades and have created a really weird cultural conceptualisation of what someone with that disorder looks like/acts like.

People will have Tom committing genuinely horrific acts of violence for his own pleasure, fucking with people for fun, and engaging in lots of different taboo kinks and then explain it by simply being like 'he's a psychopath' and it's like oh... 😬

Idk I find that specific trope lazy in terms of story-telling, shallow in terms of character interpretation, and damaging in terms of real-life consequences for normal ass people with personality disorders.

Pt. 2. All that being said, I (personally) disagree with you in terms of Tom being able to be classified psychopathic!

I'm aware that some people distinguish between 'primary' psychopaths (those with genetic predisposition) and 'secondary' psychopaths (those who develop the disorder from environmental factors, sometimes called sociopaths) though it should be noted that this distinction isn't really agreed upon across the field and is under debate lol. But I feel the need to address both since I'll probs get anons "calling me out" me if I don't haha.

Premeditation before acts of violence, severely diminished emotional responses, and a lack of anxiety are traits characterised to primary psychopathy, and at first glance I can kind of see a case for Tom here. But... some of Tom's/Voldemort's biggest character beats revolve around him being impulsive, hyper-emotional, and extremely reactionary (like just killing an entire room of his own followers and goblins after finding out Harry knows abt the Horcruxes, or freaking out about the prophecy and murdering the Potters for that matter, or even duelling with Dumbledore in the Ministry etc. etc.).

Like I know he can be super calculating and set up long-arching plans and shit, but I've never really read Tom as being that 'premeditated' in what he does. He's ambitious, yeah, but to me I see him setting his eyes on a goal and doing everything he possibly can to reach that goal in a sort of perfectionist-driven, covetous desperation where if he just pushes long enough and hard enough and far enough, he'll prove that he can do fucking anything and everything in spite of everyone else and fuck everyone who said he couldn't - rather than this detached, cool, logical premeditative flow-chart of decisions.

On the other hand, the reasoning behind Tom having secondary psychopathy reads as more logical for the character for me - being an orphan in war-time England and having to essentially self-prioritise to the absolute extreme to survive could all be strong environmental stressors that would result in learned lack of empathy. Crimes committed by those with secondary psychopathy are also (apparently) more emotionally driven, more reactionary, and more impulsive. But.... Tom does still set up these long-arching plans, ya know? He's not acting solely on impulse, and he's also still very emotional outside of his acts of violence. Plus he's also never struck me as particularly anxious (which is a trait often used to distinguish secondary psychopathy). He's both impulsive and premeditated at times, just like how most ppl act both impulsively and premeditated at times.

The point I'm trying to make, lol, is that I think it's a misread of the character to consider him 'unemotional' or detached from others bc I've always thought of him as like the most extremely emotional character in the whole series. Canon demonstrates him to be highly emotional but just very very controlled/performative most of the time. He's shown to have bouts of hugely expressive rage, and he acts very vindictively which suggesting he takes things super personally, but he's mostly able to hide these emotions around people he doesn't trust. This might make him manipulative but it does not make him psychopathic/sociopathic.

In summary, I don't read Tom as having a personality disorder, I read him as being selfish, jealous, emotional, egotistical, covetous, self-aggrandising, suspicious, and manipulative. He's a dick, your honour.

[imkittyjustkitty]

Hi!! Could I please get a ship for marauders era and book era of Harry Potter? I'm a straight female, she/her and I'd prefer a male please <33

Physical description - I'm 5'9 and I have long, curly dark brown hair and brown eyes. I have a fair skin tone, I'm slim and I've got full lips and slight dark circles under my eyes and I have broad shoulders. I dress mostly in relaxed suits, blazers and coats and I love the occasional dress or sweaters layered over a white button down!

Personality description - It takes me a while to feel comfortable around new people but once I do, I become really talkative and outgoing. I love helping out and I'm the therapist friend, people come to me to vent or for advice and comfort. I'm smart and ambitious, I love being the best at everything I do, though I sometimes struggle with the hardwork and conviction needed to get there. I'm quite the hopeless romantic and I love being in love! I also daydream a lot and I can get lost in my own world for hours. I can be quite dramatic and stubborn and I tend to be withdrawn at times. I get frustrated easily and I'm quietly competitive. My love languages are acts of service and physical touch. I'm a ravenclaw and my mbti is infp and my enneagram is 4w3

Hobbies/likes - I love reading, my favorite genres are fantasy and poetry. I also love learning about new things and collecting knowledge, I'm very interested in psychology, history, mythology and folklore, and fashion! I adore adventures, witty and playful banter, joking around and having indepth discussions on anything and everything! I adore all forms of art and I have quite a few creative hobbies! I listen to a lot of modern/indie rock and I love watching psychological thrillers and romcoms.

Thank you very much! I hope you're keeping well and that your family recovers soon ❤️ Have a nice day <33

hiii !! i hope youre also keeping well and tysm for the kind wishes for my family <33

💗 ships under cut bc otherwise this post is a bit long <3

Golden Trio Era ;

i ship you with... Cedric Diggory

i know this is kind of obscure but you said you love being in love (love the sentiment honestly its so nice !! /g) and i think of Cedric and the two just line up, like i can totally see you and him just on the cutest, movie-esque picnic date !! shipping you with a golden trio era character was hard (also i cant confidently write for half of them so the pool of choices was very small lol!) but you and Cedric seem like such a cute pairing, like even based solely on vibes i can just tell you'd be such an aesthetic couple, not in quite a matching outfits sort of way, but just a 'woah there goes an inexplicably aesthetic couple' 💗

Marauders Era ;

i ship you with... Sirius Black

i can definitely see you and Sirius on a date stargazing, and him just lovingly explaining the myths behind each constellation to you and it just being a lovely intimate moment where you guys are just lying there holding each others hands and its so <33. he will always be ready for an adventure, whether it be exploring the hidden corners and passages of hogwarts, and wandering aimlessly through forests and just enjoying each others presence and the incredible plants and creatures around you, but you better be fully prepared for him to do something dumb like climb a tree that is clearly not safe enough to climb. but hey he justifies by saying that 'he did it for you' which he believes is a certainly valid reason. 100% has had trouble with expressing his emotions, and struggles with communication which being with you helps him so much because you're so easy to talk to. also watch thriller movies and he will either be completely unphased or wont sleep for the next week there is no in between (but hey as long as you're there to hug him tell him 'no there's not a sentient doll in your closet' he'll be okay 💗 )

<3 and as a little bonus — my second choice for a marauders ship for you is Remus Lupin ! just had to mention that you guys would totally wear matching sweaters and be the absolute cutest !! and reading together <3 just <33

[bushelofmuses]

Friday's session summary:

Wanderer hugs Arix and smooches the top of his head (just to be a little shit bc I used to do this to my brother and it drove him up a wall), but thanks him for defending the elves in the party.

.

The party is thrown into complete darkness. A sort of void where they can't see beyond about two feet in front of them, can't hear anyone or anything, no light, and their attempts at using spells like Sending don't work. Wanderer and Arix were beside each other when it happened so they held hands so they wouldn't be separated. She tried dispell magic and it shattered that shit for like, two seconds, before it snapped back into place.

She and Arix heard a voice telling them to come find them, and something something about a light and that "she's" watching them. The rest of the party didn't, they later found out.

Then everyone started having auditory hallucinations. Arix apparently has a brother he's got serious beef with and heard his brother taunting him. It spooked him enough that he let go of Enil for a moment to draw his knives, and then he promptly bolted trying to find his brother and/or get away because he thought he felt his brother's knives against his head. Which left Enilasor alone to hear her mom tearing her apart and causing her to have a breakdown.

The moment Arix finds a way to break the darkness, kind-of-but-not-really on accident, Enilasor just sprints to him and hugs the shit out of him because "you left me dumbass!"

He redeems himself a thousandfold later.

.

Only Morgana can carry the light from the chalice since she's half dwarf, and Arix gives it to her after the voice told him to find her, the one who could use it...but didn't specify who this her was.

Arix thought it was Enilasor since cleric and light/star spells and all and she's like, the chalice was made by the dwarves. If it's any of us ladies, it's probs Morgana.

Arix, when Morgana successfully holds the ball of fire: You're the chosen one Morgana!

.

DM: so because I know Enilasor loves her tapestries

Me: she sure fucking does

.

Morgana gets her dad's really neat sword and can pick her damage type with it like, once a day or something.

Her: congrats for finding my dead dad's body, Orestes! Here's the ten gold I promised to the first one to find him.

Also turns out said dad was turned to stone when he and his men killed the second sister. Orestes read the memories of the statue and was like, oh fuck, the dude that sent us down here betrayed them and locked them in. He's fucking pissed.

A lot angrier than Morgana, but Morgana didn't know him and has no attachment to him. Orestes is just pissed because he didn't pick up on it.

.

Orestes and Enilasor being awkward because after she gives him a healing potion, he gives her the empty health potion vial back with a quiet thank you and she blurts out "I'm sorry—umImeanyou'rewelcome."

Which she's mad at herself for doing because culturally, she doesn't feel like she's quite earned the right to apologize yet for being a dick to him. She really fucking wants to apologize too but that is not how it's done back home and dude deserves better than that anyway.

.

Me, when we're discussing how Arix's draconic roar thingy works in regards to the gorgon that turned into a many-eyed-many-tentacled abomination: I mean, I'd be distracted if a tiny little lizard screamed at me too.

.

More sibling vibes between Arix and Wanderer when he saves her ass from said tentacled abomination. This is the second time he's saved her from a tentacled critter. Which, part of his deal with the Traveler was to keep his niece safe, so, fair. But also like, daw thanks buddy for giving a shit and expending your limited style points to get her out of danger again rather than save them for saving your own skin because holy shit the poison that thing was about to hit her with would have put her in the negative.

Also, wtf DM. This is three times now she's been attacked by a tentacled critter or whatever, and the second she's been bound by them. You also almost had her choked out by the first sister, which scared the shit out of her because one of those instances with the tentacles was in a nightmare and it strangled her to death, so a gorgon hand wrapped tightly around her neck was fun. And now you've tied her up with these things.

You've given her a new phobia and made it worse since then, and you're making me ask questions about your goofy ass and this recurring theme.

.

Our Grung and Orestes also have serious sibling vibes and Orestes is panicking bc they had problems with their curse during this same fight Wanderer was almost killed in. Tihn apparently grows plants and shit on them when they overdo it with the eldritch abilities they were cursed with from the Books, so, you know, fun.

Then an argument between them. A big argument.

.

More Arix backstory??? Holy shit????

Enil: why didn't you kill the kid or the lord? (who are part of the reason he lost his daggers and was booted from his clan the way he was. He killed his target but didn't kill the witnesses he hadn't expected to be there because his daggers require balance in life and death, so it wouldn't be right for his daggers, nor did his conscious tell him it'd be cool)

Arix: Because it didn't feel right

Just...aw...

.

All in all, a wild night with a crap ton of character lore popping up.

[soho-x]

thank you for the thoughtful response. 💛

i'll be honest. i disagree about the partner bit, if only because it's "rhett & link" so he does know he has authority over her in the end and i don't know enough about the make-up of the company but that's fair. i'm probably never gonna feel great about yelling as a source of comedy or communication.

i said the unfunny lesbian thing because i have unfollowed people on here for saying that almost verbatim like it's not a stereotype in and of itself, and it's okay if people find that insult comedy stuff funny, but you're right that i do not. i have not been called an unfunny lesbian to my face and i think that's the point. seeing people do it here makes me assume the minute i've left a room, i must have.

i actually started watching this show BECAUSE of stevie. i was not ever likely to watch some white guy-guy musical comedy duo rank fast food, but i heard a cool lesbian interrupt them and make a joke. that is content i had not heard before. i honestly think there's a breakdown of people who watched before or after, maybe?

of course conflict can get overblown, but i feel like is what creative meetings are for (whether you're a colleague or boss). i also get the clicks thing, but the same people hate on them for doing nothing but food. it's frustrating to me (who doesn't love the food eps, but doesn't really complain bc that's their livelihood) that people really pick and choose what parts of defending why they do what they do work when it suits them.

what i do know is that the comments i've seen do not reflect it that as link yelling at rhett. or even if they do, everyone is talking about stevie, so whether he was yelling at her or not, the end result is her being singled out. which just feels mean, but it's again, my opinion.

ty again for hearing me out. i would never unfollow you. i like to voice my frustrations in case other people feel the same way (and that's probably why i don't explode at work every few weeks lol). i wish the show had similar boundaries. no hard feelings.

No hard feelings ever! I appreciate hearing your thoughts. Thats what I love about th experience I’ve curated for myself here. We can all have different opinions and discuss them in rational and civil ways. You’re welcome to voice your opinions and frustrations in my inbox any day. 💕

[theregoesmylurkerstatus]

Another thing with the most recent ep that I haven't seen mentioned is that everyone was really flippant towards Nott about maybe finally having a way back to her body. "You're not gunna ask him about polymorph right when I give you the ruby are you?" Caleb refusing to even entertain the idea of asking about the spell bc he was caught up in his judgement of the situation, etc. Like, the solution was potentially Right There and it was being dismissed and Nott was being blown off

OKAY WELL I’m getting to this almost a week late, but I hope you’re still interested in an answer? I personally don’t believe the Nein actually dismissed Nott’s issues, though they didn’t handle it gracefully either. I think several people realized exactly what that spell might mean for her, but were both wary of its source and more focused on the immediate issues at hand (ie, getting out of the Happy Fun Ball alive, whole, and preferably with Yussah). In the end it was treated the way the Nein often deals with controversial personal wants, which is to say – briefly and harshly, and then better addressed once they have a chance to breathe (provided it comes up again, of course).

Caleb was really the main one who dealt with Halas’ “body-changing” spell and was most equipped to realize exactly what it means and potentially work on it, which he apparently has every intention of doing. However, at that time in the Happy Fun Ball, he was not… in a great state of mind, as many people have pointed out. He was stressed, tempted, and quite likely experiencing some sort of flare up from his trauma due to the circumstances. He was pretty snappy with everyone that episode, especially (almost entirely) regarding ruby-Halas and everything he’d made. He for once actually raised his voice at Nott AND Jester, though both largely ignored him. Since those two are arguably his biggest soft spots of the Nein… yeah, I think that’s pretty telling.

I think his refusal to entertain Nott’s interest at the time was panic more than anything else. Like. He borderline yelled at her just to get her away from it. He was reluctant to answer anyone’s questions or indulge in any speculation about it, instead just trying to force the Nein away from it. He basically shut down ANYTHING to do with Halas until he’d had some time to analyse it, the Nein displayed some caution, and they came up with a game plan.

All in all, Caleb, the best person to address Nott’s wants, was not in the frame of mind to do so, and neither was anyone else likely to when they were honestly just trying to survive. I mean, evidently Caduceus, Beau and Jester were all taking silent note of Caleb’s state of mind earlier in the Happy Fun Ball but didn’t address that either, at least until they felt they had to. They apparently did the same with Nott.

Some of the Nein seemed to realize exactly how tempting the body spell would be for Nott, and I personally believe that that comment about her not asking Halas about the spell was worry more than anything else. Flippantly disguised worry, maybe, but genuine concern about what Halas might say to her, or what she might be tempted to do, nevertheless. It honestly read very similarly to them being angry at Caleb for “being weird” and telling him not to “stare creepily” at things, which was ALSO a manifestation of their concern for HIS state of mind.

This just seems to be a problem the Mighty Nein have in general. They NOTICE each other’s issues and keep an eye out, but they’re reluctant to address them until those issues are immediately relevant or reaching a boiling point. Everyone knows Jester thinks the Gentleman is her dad and that she’s been wanting to see him in person, and yet they’ve yet to go seek him out even though they’ve come back to Zadash TWICE now, and Jester has had to finally reach out herself.

Caleb has had a couple times where he’s slipped into a very unhealthy mindset and minor downward spiral, but it either wasn’t really dealt with (see: immediately after the rift fight in the well where he got charmed. He was pretty fucked up/angry for a variety of reasons afterwards and was very quiet about it for the next episode, but by the time they had the whole confrontation with the Bright Queen at the end of the episode, he had a bunch of new shit to process) or was only dealt with when it became an immediate issue (see: the Happy Fun Ball) or he’s, again, brought it up himself.

Nott has had a similar pattern to Caleb, of entering a downward spiral that goes unaddressed in the midst of all the other problems they try to juggle (see: her the entirety of the Obann/Yasha arc when she had a hardcore identity crises) until she herself approaches someone or she manages to find her feet enough that she’s no longer in such a bad state. People HAVE approached Caleb and Nott on their issues, but not often and only by either each other or their respective second-best-BFFs (Beau and Jester, respectively).

And Fjord! He’s probably the one the Nein have done the best with so far, but honestly I think that’s because Fjord is the kind of person who needs to take the time to slowly work himself up to approaching others. But even so, during the pirate arc Beau and Caleb noticed that he was struggling, and their solution was silent support. Which, frankly, is the Mighty Nein’s default and while not the worst solution, it does mean that oftentimes issues are left indirectly addressed for a long, long time.

The fact of the matter is is that the Nein don’t do open discussion about each other’s issues unless they absolutely have to, and when they DO absolutely have to, it’s in a situation in which they can’t afford to address it with any delicacy at all. Otherwise, they tend to give each other space. Which, to be fair, has worked out okay so far. Their concern most often manifests in them going “haha you’re not turning evil, right Fjord? You do think of us as friends, right Caleb? Boy you guys are acting weird and we don’t love it! You know, maybe its for the best that you lost your flask, Nott… Also don’t ask about the body spell lol.”

They are getting better. I mean, Caleb talked about his issues to Caduceus AND Fjord! Unprompted! Neither of whom he’s had many deep conversations with! And the Nein as a group addressed both Nott AND Caleb’s issues, if not perfectly! AND Jester hesitantly reached out to Fjord for validation over her own goals!

Basically, actually talking to Nott at that time and in that place was not as urgent to the Nein as getting out alive. Which tends to be the case a lot. But as we saw, her temptations and the worry of Halas’ influence on her was addressed as soon as they got a chance to deal with Halas. Caleb did manage to briefly reassure her that even if he wasn’t a sure thing, he was a better option than a possibly psychotic necromancer, but even so it’s not like they’ve had an extended discussion about that particular goal. In the end Nott’s immediate reaction was sort of brushed over, though that was something of a necessity, if roughly handled.

This is a very long winded way of saying that, yes, while Nott’s issues weren’t treated as seriously as they could have been, they were dealt with (or rather, not dealt with) pretty typically for the Mighty Nein. But these messes ARE improving. Slowly. And I’m proud of them!

[clumsyclifford]

hi bella ^_^ hope you're well!! hmm what can i talk about here. umm i've just been vibing. doing assignments, going to class. forgot what the date was. a prof brought up halloween in class and i was like wtf why are we talking about halloween it's not for another like two weeks. turns out it's in 2 days. ummm i've also been trying my best to watch the world series. go braves because the astros are cheaters. let's see. how are YOU bella. how has your week been. in terms of ya know. the things i enjoy it's been pretty mentally exhausting but we don't have to discuss that. hmmm let's see. last time u responded to me u mentioned being on a state champs listening binge (relatable, literally me every single time i go to a concert for the following like week) and i have always meant to try listening to them. drop some song recs perhaps?? rambling about why you love each song is definitely encouraged. honestly i just wanted to pop in to say hello without really knowing what to talk about. tell me what's going on with YOU my dearest bella. i would love to hear it. i am bored and procrastinating doing assignments as we speak. hope all is well for you!! sending love positive energy etc etc MWAH - other bella

hi bella!! so nice to hear from you <3

dfghgdklfj well we've all been there. happy halloween by the way !! yeah i sorta tried to watch the world series but then i was just like maybe i don't care enough. i have been keeping an eye on it though and ive had the same philosophy mainly that i don't want the braves to win i just really want the astros to lose so! knock on wood it's going well so far

how AM i. what a question. i'm okay. having a similarly mentally exhausting week for the same reasons and am very okay not talking about it. contemplating making some tea. listening to youngblood at the moment that's nice, i don't spend enough time listening to 5sos lately i really am slacking but team reminded me about better man and now here we are

yes!!! YEAH!!! i would LOVE TO!!!!!!!! omg what a question. i can't narrow this down for you bella. i did make this essentials playlist for lily so here's that:

but okay adding on to that uhhhmmmm so okay here are the ones ive been into recently which isnt to say theyre my favorites bc lets be real ! theyre all my favorites ! but these + the ones in the playlist.......a good start. fair amount of overlap but i just. okay ive said too much it doesnt matter. ANYWAY.

i haven't heard their first album but from the second one which is the finer things i love remedy and easy enough, also simple existence

from around the world and back ive been really into losing myself ("we attract what we're ready for" !!!), tooth and nail (first line!!), hurry up and wait ("i know you feel safe under my skin" FOR WHAT???), & breaking ground lately

from living proof - frozen (the way the lyrics of the verses are written is really cool and fun), the fix up (the CHORUS of this one), something about you, safe haven

and if u want some acoustic tunes, the unplugged ep is really good im a big fan of crying out loud and the recipe

their new singles are also really good but i'll hold off recommending them unless you want to seek em out because i have. listed too many things here. but also i really like their cover of chicago is so two years ago which is funny cos i never really knew the original song but i just really like it okay im done.

[horce-divorce]

I'm just so glad I got back into tumblr. All the nerds are here. I firmly believe that reasons everyone hates it so much, including the people who still use it, has less to do with the overall experience and more with a few bad ones... And like in IRL when we fuck something up once or twice we get real self deprecating about it, ie it went from being like home to being "this hell site" in the span of time it took Dashcon to occur.

(Sarah Z's YT vid goes over this really well, and tbf i take issue to her claim that her channel "isn't a tumblr history channel" bc I think we could learn some valuable stuff from actually discussing What The Fuck Happened Here. IE I will fight everyone making her feel bad for making tumblr history channels a thing because don't fucking lie, you'd watch the hell out of that, ESPECIALLY those of you who came from Reddit to make fun of us and stayed. I know you're fucking there!!)

Anyway, all unrestrained enthusiasm is for tumblr. That's what it was always for. Infodumping in long formats, fandoms we couldn't express love for IRL or risk being slam dunked into the fucking trash by our bullies, every type of media, the way posts become collaborative and take on entirely new contexts and meanings when others add to them... (even if it's just a joke post, the memes we got from these collabs were another fucking level of humor you had to be there for)

All this meant it became the gay autistic social media site and THAT'S why everyone picks on us.

Did tumblr also initiate a lot of utterly unhinged, ridiculous scenarios? YES. Is there and has there always been lots of loud infighting? YES!! Were half the functions broken from day 1? You know it!!!! And none of that is exclusive to tumblr- what's exclusive to tumblr is the specific brand of off the wall, obscure but deeply connected information that all comes together in the most unhinged POSSIBLE way, and the only reason it IS possible is because of tumblr's culture of Being Yourself Unrestrainedly!!!

Would the Supernatural finale have been funny AT ALL TO YOU if you had actually watched it? It doesn't seem like it was. 10years of queerbaiting, in reality, is devastating. But I've never seen Supernatural, I've merely spent the last 10 years filling in plotholes with nothing but context cues from tumblr (which is a lot funnier than the real plot fwiw), and when Destiel Day happened I was blessed enough to be here *chef's kiss.* But for real, Destiel wouldnt have been funny AT ALL if you hadnt been subjected day in and day out to useless Supernatural posts you didn't ask for in the first place. It was funny because we went along on that ride for the sake of our tumblr friends who dragged us, and we never could have known how we'd be rewarded for our reluctant participation.

Not that I/we generally are MAD about seeing that stuff. We joke about it and "fuck you for making me look at this," but at the end of the day, we reblogged that "fuck you." We understand that the content that comes up on our dash is not picked for us solely by an algorithm, but by the real people we chose to follow, who have their own very complex internal lives and who chose that content for themselves.

for most of us, our main blogs have become this very interesting collage of Ourselves Through Time. So our friends and mutuals posts are OF COURSE going to be bizarre and at times, unrelated to anything we thought we were looking at. THAT IS WHY TUMBLR DRAMA IS SO GOOD. because with other sites drama you only get some of the picture, but us??? We are fucking autistic and WE KNOW EVERY SINGLE DETAIL THAT LED TO THAT EVENT AND WE WILL FUCKING TELL YOU. Could the Onceler and Oncest fandom have happened anywhere else, anywhere on Earth at any other time in human history???? NO. no it could not.

Anyway. My point is not that tumblr is perfect or anything remotely to that effect, I've met and lived with my fair share of awful queer autistic people from tumblr. What I AM saying is That's Just Social Media. You can't fucking be yourself on Twitter or Reddit or Facebook, you have to have side accounts and fake names and I'm not even talking about hiding your fetishes or whatever, I'm talking about saying "I'm depressed!" I'm talking about how lgbtqia2s infighting has gotten SO VICIOUS on twitter you can't even fucking call yourself queer or a dyke or be a lesbian with he/him pronouns in your bio without some kids screaming at you to delete yourself from queer history or They Won't Sit With You. That absolutely also has always happened on tumblr, it just isn't even remotely exclusive to tumblr culture, not like how people will ACT as if it is.

the real reasons tumblr users always get flack for being here is BECAUSE we are unapologetically ourselves. because we get excited. because we infodump (tumblr brand Callout Posts are often infodumps which is what makes them notable), we unapologetically want every single detail that can't even begin to be included in places like Twitter and Facebook, where posts are character limited and ephemeral and impossible to find later, where 1,000 people are all chiming in at once to say "I heard such-and-such from someone else's oomf" and it's like ??? y'all lmfao none of that is better or superior to tumblr in any way whatsoever. You know the old adage "don't read the comments"? Twitter took that and said "here, have ONLY THE COMMENTS." And yet, there we are.

I'm sure a lot of people have already pointed this out better than I just did in the time that I was absent (or fuck, even in the early days, I feel like we all just... know this?), but coming back to tumblr after a year+ of Just Twitter And Reddit- and now the stuff Sarah Z gets into as well- makes this so painfully obvious. And I think it's really sad that we just immediately accepted all the criticism and mockery and were like, "yep, tumblr is uniquely bad and awful," when in reality, it's no worse than the others. In fact, tumblr has been uniquely good and informative, especially among folks who quite literally were able to become who they are only because of the affirmations of this community.

I have learned so much about myself as a trans person, about what resources are available to me, about how to defend myself, how to stand up for myself, how to TALK about myself; if it wasnt for tumblr, transmeds would have kept me in the closet, maybe indefinitely. I've learned so much more about my disabilities and other conditions from disabled people on tumblr than I have EVER learned from a doctor. And maybe more importantly, I've made more friends on here than anywhere else online except Neopets. And we laugh. We laugh SO MUCH. For every big, serious, informative post, there's 10x as many shitposts than any other website and its glorious. No other website gives me The Serotonin like my blog does, I mean, thank god at least the tag system works?? I have 10 years of laugh tag to go through now. Incredible. Twitter and FB could never.

Anyway, when you look at the stuff that made tumblr So Loud and Obnoxious, the stuff that made Tumblr into Tumblr, the stuff that was actually drawing ire from altright trolls... at the end of the day, it was because a bunch of women and queer autistics were so happy we just finally found our table, and that we could be mentally ill or whatever in good fucking company. And just like in real life, bullies taking a stab at us for that made us get defensive, and we started talking "hellsite" this and that so we could be the first to insult us, so that when everyone else did, it wouldn't hurt so bad.

tldr fuck you tumblr is fine I'm very happy to be here