#Which is why I don't consider any of these flaws
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I'm deeply thankful for the great response to this post, however I'd like to expand with some points that I've seen brought up in the notes
"But I have fantasy ocs that don't live in any real world countries!"
- inexplicably, despite this, you can still find very americanized/anglocentric/distinctly Caucasian characters and stories in fantasy, even if they have more "fantasy" sounding names and locations. Nobody bats an eye, because this is assumed as a default
- you can in fact, make fantasy sounding names and locations in languages other than English, or with pronunciation conventions that don't follow English
"I would but my native country is/has problematic elements and I don't wanna come across as nationalistic or supporting them (colonization, racism ect)"
- I wholly respect you being honest and aware of your country's flaws and I think that's very commendable, please keep staying aware and respectful of harmful real world elements. I'm proud of you. However,
- English speaking countries (Eg. America, Britain) have horrid histories with racism, colonization and ethnic cleansing. Despite this, they get to be represented as a national default in media and stories without applying nearly as much scrutiny as you do for your own nationality.
- You can (And should!) be able to acknowledge the flaws and problems with your home country's politics and culture while still appreciating it as the unique and valid piece of your world that it is. Appreciating the language and (in most cases) the culture of a country does not equal supporting the bad actions of its government, historically or otherwise. You may even want to criticise and comment on your own country's culture and flaws in your media! Which is good!
-(Eg argument - Germans are allowed to want German representation in media without people jumping to immediately associate them with nazism. It is about what the representation itself is saying and whether it is being healthily critical. Immediately assuming bad faith on non American, non English representations in media is part of this whole problem at large, and xenophobic.)
- if you earnestly depict your language, culture and customs in your work, and someone who doesn't belong to said culture immediately jumps to criticise it as inherently harmful, they may be quite racist. There's a huge difference in giving feedback on potential problematic real world elements, and simple entitlement. Many people are too immature to appreciate non English, nonwhite, non American representation in media as it's own unique and valid thing, worthy of treating with the same respect as any other piece of media. These kinds of media end up being unfairly scrutinised much more than American/white medias simply on the basis of them not being considered default. I know ignorant people like this in my real life despite Not being American or even from an English speaking country. The bias exists and is widespread.
- Look, bestie, I can rattle off a million logical arguments for why you should be able to indulge in your own culture and language more. But I gotta say, I think some of you have just Internalized the same Western/America/anglocentric bias. It will be hurtful to yourself, and any other members of your nationality. Take yourself gently by the hand and make sure you untangle this bias
[ZIONISTS DNI]
Hey. You. If you're a second language English speaker. You should make more of your ocs your own nationality. They don't all need to have inexplicably English names. They don't all need to somehow conform to American cultural conventions. They should speak your first language also. Holds your shoulders and looks you deeply in the eyes. Okay? Okay.
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A-ahem. Starting over again...
@newthinkerer found THS post and said to me: "I'm sure the Kirby fandom has done something to grind your gears."
Which, in truth, the answer is not lately / not really no. ^^; But it wasn't hard to reach in and find some "comical outrage" style gear-grindy answers for those who find such rants entertaining! So, here those are for everyone's (hopeful) enjoyment
[Original Response Below] Ohhh? Did you want "Salty" Dess? XD Let's go down the list...!
Marx / Reduced to one single trait
Look, I know the games don't give people much to go on, but a lot of people (1) seem ha~ppy to come up with pages and pages of backstory for all the other characters - but Marx? Nope. Marx is the one character who people seem almost allergic to rounding out when he is RIPE with mystery and potential. "But the game doesn't tell us anything about him so maybe he isn't that big of a deal, Dess?" Tsk! The game tells us just as little about Meta Knight! The only difference is the number of appearances! Use your imagination, people!
It's like some folks are trying to invoke the Smash Bros conspiracy theory that Kumazaki and Sakurai have a rivalry (they don't) and just like Sakurai would NEVER put a Kumazaki-era character in Smash (...he already did in the form of the trophies) no one is allowed to characterize Marx cause he's from the Sakurai-era of Kirby where characters just didn't have personalities and lore! Pah, I say!
Oh yeah, if you want to see me destroy something, say "He was just hungry!" : ) in my presence. Do it. I dare youuuuuu...!
:holds Magolor over a wood chipper:
Susie / They stole (...some planetary resources and MK's autonomy...) and fandom labeled them a hard criminal
You all knew this one was coming, right? ^^ But if I start up the Susie debate again, I'm going to regret it so, uh, let's move on...
Kirby / Popular headcanon so off-base it hurts.
I fear the Metadad people have their hands over the block button right now. But it's not that MetaDad is necessarily wrong! MK can act protective, sure. It's "Baby Kirby" that is wrong! He lives on his ownnnnnn with a houseeee he does not need babyinnnng.....!!
Magolor / Constant (eh, semi-frequent??) misinterpretation
...I want to be as gentle as possible when I say this because I GET IT. Please believe me when I say I understand so, so much and as far as AU versions/alternate HC goes, it's fine! This isn't a call out!
But... Magolor being a shy, reserved kitty boy who just wants...f-friends... Look, Magolor may not have EVERY disease, but he does have a lot of them. However awkward he may be though, the form his awkwardness takes is very clearly extroverted! Again, it's super okay though because I get seeing yourself or an aspect of yourself you're dealing with in a character and wanting to make them more like you! Dess supports comfort characters! (Plus, my own version of Magolor is a little laser-sighted on his frustrated side)
...But he runs a shop and a theme park. He actually LIKES talking to/dealing with people! He gets along with Marx because he LIKES tricking people. He likes to get under people's skin! He doesn't fear it! Magolor is/has been sad and probably has some deep trauma, yeah. But he also deserves to be more than :gif of a sad cat:
DMK / The worst takes....
I'm not going to start up The Debate here, same as with Susie, but... The unabashed glowing adoration the fandom has for Meta Knight and you take away ONE good trait and enhance ONE bad trait and now he is Satan?!? Some of you people hate him more than HYNESS (:spoken by a Hyness fan:) and I don't know why?!
Maybe add on "He would never say that" for the people who do the opposite and make him exactly like MK but he says the F word
Daroach / ...Ignored
Like, the real crime (haha, get it? crime?) about Daroach is that he IS used occasionally. More than like, I dunno, Chew Kawasaki? But when he does show up, it's with his crew being "The Leader of the Squeaks" (showcasing that Dad Energy(tm)) or DMK's husband. (The thief and the murderer are boyfriends! Diversity win!) And...that's it?
Daroach has so much potential to interact with literally everyone?! He roasts Dedede IN GAME?! Why are people not running with this energy more?! (Also, shipping Darkroach because of that one picture is fine. I do too. Shipping Darkroach because you don't want to break up MetaDede and so you relent to "giving" him MK's mirror clone like buying a grieving kid a new puppy is...kinda weird? Just me?)
Adeleine / Reduced to one single trait (part two)
...This might sound like THE most hypocritical thing coming from the creator of "Apologies" aka, "Sad Siblings in Snow" but Adeleine potentially being from Shiver Star (potentially!) equating her to "The Little Match Girl." Now I love all kinds of Adeleine origin headcanons! And I also love Sad Adeleine on Shiver Star stories! I don't want to put an end to them or suggest they are bad thing! Never!
But... I worry e~very now and then THAT is the thing people find most interesting about her. That she would/should be a sad girl when she's really not. Since writing "Apologies," I've gotten a handful of asks about how Adeleine must be really sad about Noir's death or asking if she will ever be able to smile again and... like...um...
...S-she is? Already smiling, that is. ^^; "Apologies" was crafted in a way to PROTECT Adeleine's innocence so that she can be happy and relatively close to the canon Adeleine! Adeleine being able to move on with her life and smile and make friends is exactly the thing Noir died for - so that Adeleine wouldn't have the life he did!
So, again, kinda hypocritical of me because I actually really like sad Adeleine art and "Adeleine the Human" HC, but I sometimes fear it might become all that she is. :spoke by a contributor to this trend:
...TLDR, continue to write and draw Adeleine angst because it allows me to ignore the option I almost considered just for a second which was sexualiza...Nope. We're going to go back to forgetting about all that unfortunate Pixiv content right.this.minute!
-
(1) So, despite my tone and the things I said, I'm not actually upset at anyone for anything they'd done! I'm really happy that people are creating at all - whether you're writing sad Magolor or itty bitty Kirby or lol random Marx or PTSD Adeleine or trophy husband Daroach!
I don't even see a lot of the things I'm ostensibly complaining about anymore, honestly. Thus my reasons for posting less and less salt on this account! Outside of a few fandom kerfluffles in the last month (alas...) I would say we're actually in an era of peace as far as good content about the characters goes! People are thinking and inventing. People are having fun. People are being measured with their takes and anything "gear grindy" is really going to be remembered stuff from the past, not present flaws!
...plz don't block me...
#Kirby#Marx#Magolor#Daroach#Adeleine#Susie Haltmann#Dark Meta Knight#Dess Ramblings#cw: salt#I worry more that my blorbos will be 'stuck in the past'#Defined by that one memorable thing they did one time#and not allowed to grow/be experimented with#Or people will find the one trait they like the most#and stick with it cause it's the most appealing to them#(But not THAT worried because I do this a lot too!)#Which is why I don't consider any of these flaws#Certainly not grievous ones or fandom crimes!#Just something to think about/shake stuff up!#Hopefully no HC were harmed in the making of this post#Like I know a lot of people DO have detailed Marx HC!#And I also love a shivering wet helpless Magolor!#Evil Scientist Susie? Heck yeah! Go girl!#I have a couple of MetaDad posts favorited too#And Darkroach is a cool ship#That's what I mean that none of these really bother me! XD
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"Everyone is allowed to have their own takes in terms of headcanons" and "You still should respect others if they see a character or relationship in a different way than yours" are concepts that SHOULD co-exist
mostly on the object show community
#osc#max rants#listen: personally#i like certain ships or hcs because they're COMPLEX they're flawed#or i have an different take of an character thanks to how they acted with eachother#and that's more than okay! everyone does!#but the fact that the osc (at least of twitter) are incredible hostile or treat you bad because you have like#an different take of an relationship or sexuality#is pretty sad honestly all things considered#i'm even scared of saying that i see nickel as bi but with a preference for men and that#i see balloon suitcase baseball and nickel as an polycule who needed therapy#because people could immediately jump on assuming that i condone what bb and nickel did WHICH IS NOT TRUE#i like their relationship with suitcase because THEY did care and THEY MESSED up while trying to show that they care. like#of course they messed up but they wouldn't be an terrible toxic couple either#they all grew and need to talk about it#HOWEVER#if any of you know the reason of why people don't ship them please tell me#don't attack others over having different headcanons or takes#that's all
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it is beginning to occur to me that part of the reason why the ending of “things fall apart” is fucking me up so bad is because i share the same flaw as the main character, which is undeniably a major issue of mine but nevertheless it hits very hard to see someone else like. displaying that.
#nightmare.personal#for those who don't know the book i wouldn't say that it's a required read but i do think it gives perspective#if you can make it through part one which is largely a little hard to read#for the record this flaw of mine is the desire to be seen as strong to the extent that i do not necessarily prioritize#the acquisition or maintenance of friendships in the long term over the idea of my career success and the deep seeded desire to#never feel satisfied with life because if i am ever satisfied that means that i have reached a goal and i never want to be complete#<- does this make sense#i don't know why this is a mentality of mine like i guess i've always thought this way?#but especially recently it's morphed into being a major fucking priority#like i no longer understand why any person would seek to live a life that is simply comfortable or happy#oh my God i got a really funny text just now from my father considering this entire situation dad please
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Danny: What's one of your characters flaws?
Tim: I get attached too easily. I fall into obsessions quickly. I hero worship to the point of worry. Oh, and I get Hangry.
Danny: I meant the character flaws you put for the assignment.....
Tim: Patricide.
Danny: Alright thanks. I'll ugh, see you around?
Tim: You won't see me but I'll see you. Through my camera lens.
Danny: What?!
Tim: Don't act surprised. I just told you my flaws.
Danny: I thought you were just being edgy!?
Tim: *frog blinks* Why would I waste this chance to speak to *whispers* Phantom.
Danny: How do you know that!?
Tim: I used to follow Batman and Robin around before Robin died, and you popped up. Good thing you did, too, because Batman was going crazy. You really saved him from the void. I love you. Also, I think someone put something in my water bottle because I'm shaking and saying things I usually wouldn't be saying and-
Danny: *Grabs bottle to sniff* someone dumped a truth serum in here. Let's go ahead and get you to the cave.
Tim: You can smell that? Of course, you can; you're half ghost, which could be considered its own species since all senses are enhanced. Plus, some ghosts are born in the Infinite Realm, which means reproduction is possible between-
Danny: Let's play the quiet game
Tim: Oh! I'm really good at that game. I never made any sounds when following the Gotham Heros around! Five years and counting!
Danny: You were nine when you started following Bruce around!?
Tim: I'm a smart stalker. But shhhhhhh, it's quiet time.
Danny: I'm both impressed and afraid.
Tim: *finger guns and winks*
Danny: And oddly attracted to you.
Tim: *Beams*
#dcxdpdabbles#dcxdp crossover#from a fic i never wrote#Au where Tim remains a citizen#But Danny pops in as the third side kick#He was turned into Phantom early at age 12#Ran to Gotham away from his parents and saved Bruce#Jason is out there plotting#Dead Tired#Someone is after Tim's company#From a fic I never wrote
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Sun Wukong/The destined one (mostly relationship) headcanons!
The people have spoken and the people crave monkey business. So let's get down to it!
❤
Post journey Wukong is a wiser, stronger monkey, but don't let him fool you he's still a trickster at heart.
When you first meet, he has you refer to him as 'Great Sage'.
Earning the right to say his given name isn't so much a big moment as it is just him beginning to care for you. You slip up, whether it be because you were sick or injured or just not thinking, and he doesn't correct you. In fact he kind of likes it.
He doesn't make a big deal out of it, but if you watch closely you can see his tail twitch and his eyes lost in thought.
One character flaw you'll have to deal with, even when you're just friends, is Wukong thinks he knows what's best. He's old and wisened and POWERFUL; if he thinks he knows something will be best for you, he'll do it without so much as telling you.
Credit to Hanibalistic! Their one shot about Wukong and stealing an immortal peach for a mortal reader was perfect and exactly how I think he'd act! That impulsive, "I care about this person and will do what I think is best for them regardless of the consequences or their opinion" is very... him.
Hey, we all have our flaws. (Just don't tell him that.)
On the positive side, he wouldn't let a scratch befall you. At some point you'll stop instinctually defending yourself because of how safe you feel with him. Which is heavily ironic considering how often he himself will put you in dangerous situations just to pull a prank.
But besides your poor heart from getting scared so often, you have nothing to worry about. Wukong won't leave room for even one mistake to slip by him.
Expect him to never call you by your name, almost ever. He chronically tends to call people by titles or nicknames. From calling the tang monk, master, or how he'd call Bajie 'idiot' for most of the book- just expect something. He'd only refer to you by name if he were really serious.
Something I personally find really funny that isn't represented in many medias with him is that he's OLD. He's old as hell and he knows it. In the book he'll often refer to basically everyone as 'nephew' or 'little brother' which is oddly endearing and also really funny.
I feel as though most people don't utilize how heavy he is- even in movies and stuff. His staff is like thousands of pounds! You aren't moving him unless he wants you to. God forbid you end up cuddling. Even while resting I never think he'd put his full weight on you, but you'd definitely be stuck.
Will never refuse to help you, but will tease you endlessly for needing it. "Helpless little thing aren't you?"
His love language is gift giving and acts of service.
He's impulsive with words, but look at how he treats you and you'll see how he cares.
Considering his connections, expect to have the world at your fingertips. He'll never leave you wanting, you'll always be satisfied. There is no gift beyond his reach. Just be careful what you ask for, because he WILL get it one way or another.
He is a king, a leader- it's basically second nature to be serviced, and that's why it's so important how he acts toward you. For you, he stays vigilant, ready to catch you if you fall or feed you when you're hungry. For you, he'll carry you in his arms if you're tired. For you he'd put himself in servitude.
Monkeys also show affection to one another by grabbing at each other for attention, and grooming one another's hair.
I don't think he'd have any trouble getting your attention, he's very vocal! So he'd focus more on your hair. Don't be surprised if he randomly starts combing through with his fingers or just playing with it. It's calming for him, and another form of affection.
You've changed him for the better... And for the worse. He happier, more content and occupied (which is good for everyone). BUT, should you ever disappear or get stolen from him he would surely devastate heaven and earth to get you back. The last thing anyone needs is another, more wrathful, Wukong rampage.
Expect to get shown off at every convenience! You're his king/queen and he'll make sure everyone knows it.
You have the BIGGEST wedding. And I think the best part would've been the Chuangmen, which is a wedding game tradition, usually meant for the groom to prove his loyalty, devotion, and desire to marry the bride by completing tests made by her bridesmaids. There are a ton of really interesting Chinese wedding traditions that I would recommend reading about, but with the sheer power of Wukong, these challenges in particular could've been absolutely ridiculous!
Wukong isn't jealous, no that would be ridiculous, he has nothing to fear. That by no means doesn't mean that he doesn't get offended on your behalf. He's gotten upset at not being greeted properly, there's no way in HELL he doesn't get pissed if someone were to flirt with you. They're lucky if all he does is kill them.
Feel free to make fun of him for not being able to swim. He'll absolutely make you regret it, but do it anyway it'll be funny.
Am I the only one that thinks he'd be great with kids? 🤚
Like COME ON- the dude probably helps take care of the baby monkeys on his mountain. He tells them cool stories to get them riled up. Will lay down and let them play with his hair while you read or sing to him.
Give this man kids I dare you.
That's a topic for a different post 😌
Likes kissing you on the top of the head, will also lay his forehead against yours just to be close to you.
These two designs I really like for him! Y'all let me know in the comments which version is your favorite <3
💙
The destined one may look like Wukong, but they're certainly different in... most areas.
Being selectively mute makes things a good share more difficult to communicate with him than Wukong, but it has it's charms.
You'd just been... tagging along with him. He didn't mind, unlike the wolves and undead he'd been beating through, you proved no threat to him.
He figured you would just leave on your own- or die. But by some miracle even he didn't understand, you stuck by him through rain and dust storms alike. By the time you made it to the New West he felt obligated to keep you around.
For the first time since you started following him, you were actually in danger. And to both of your surprises, he dropped what he was doing to protect you.
Don't bother asking him why. Whether you do, or simply tell him thank you, he'll just wave you off. But you notice him walking closer to you than normal after that. No longer were you left to catch up with him while he sprinted off; he'd keep stride with you now, glancing at you every now and then.
He CAN talk, and he probably surprises you the first time he does. It's not even for something important. It's just one fateful night where you happen to decide to mess with his hair. You'd pull away after a moment and he'd rumble out a little, "Don't stop."
Now that you KNOW he can talk, it's even more annoying when he refuses to answer you.
He finds it amusing when you get frustrated with him about it. He can't help it. The whole time you're grumbling or ranting at him, he's just staring at you with his stoic face... thinking about how cute you are.
Feel free to give him a name. Not like he'll argue with whatever you pick-
But really, please call him something other than "the destined one". He'd never really needed a name before, but he'd treasure whatever you decide to call him.
He probably has a nickname for you too, he just only says it in his head...
Will click his tongue at you to get your attention. (Absolutely does the 'tsk tsk tsk' thing people do to call their cats)
Speaking of getting your attention- ^ remember how monkeys show affection by just kind of grabbing each other and squeezing and pressing their head against each other?
Yeeeeah. He's a touchy monkey. He won't ask for affection, so he kind of just does it himself. Will rub his head on you, not unlike how cats or rabbits do to mark things they like. Except he's just doing it to be affectionate.
Gets cuteness aggression and WILL just grab you.
If it wasn't obvious, his love languages are physical touch and quality time.
Doesn't need help putting armor on, but if you want to help he won't stop you. (The closeness makes his heart beat fast)
If you were ever both in a bad spot- being threatened and not in a place to put up a good fight, he'd cover your body with his and bare his fangs at whatever was trying to hurt you guys to intimidate it. (It probably wouldn't work- but it's an instinctual response.)
If your feet got cold in the snow in the New West he'd pick you up and let you rest on his back for awhile.
Likes when you rely on him like that, it makes him feel stronger. And besides it just "being his destiny", knowing you'll get hurt if he loses helps him focus during fights.
Terribly jealous individual.
The glare he would give someone is straight up deadly. Watch out for how his tail flicks around when he's irritated too 🤭.
Absolutely adores the sound of your voice, it could bring him out of a coma fr.
Doesn't mind being little or big spoon, he just likes cuddling. Wraps his tail around you when you do.
Always always makes sure you eat before he does, even though he's the one doing all the fighting.
Will let you win play fights (most of the time).
Hearing him laugh is the cutest thing ever I swear- It probably took you off guard the first time you manage it.
Doesn't know how to take compliments.
Probably short circuited the first time you complimented his appearance.
Very gentle, slow kisser. Likes having you in his lap, but will grab cheeky kisses every now and then too. Will tilt your chin up when you kiss, every time.
Art by @marcu-bug
#sun wukong#black myth wukong#the destined one#headcanons#x reader#journey to the west#sun wukong x reader#the destined one x reader
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The highlight of Veilguard for me is the relationship between Solas and Rook- and I don't know how to write about this on the internet without being acutely aware of other peoples' criticisms (such as there not being enough of it)- so I'll just say up top that I'm not actually intending this as a refutation of any of those. I just want to talk about my experience with the game and why I like it so much, which will probably make obvious where I disagree with some reoccurring critiques I've seen. *
The thing about Solas in this game is that he plays the role of the trickster perfectly. As much as Fen'Harel is a myth or a persona, and the stories we know of him invented or twisted, his role in Veilguard feels like it could slot in so, so easily with the myths, and in many ways directly parallels them. He is sinister and noble, monstrous and sympathetic, ruthless and compassionate, all at once. He spends the game trapped and humbled but can be almost gleefully condescending at times. He conflates outsmarting an enemy with being right, even as he plays the long-suffering martyr, tortured by countless mistakes. He falls easily into the role of advisor but is quick to note your foolishness. To sneer and declare the problem yours and yet still impose upon you an appraisal of your conduct.
But more than any of that, for most of the game, he's...passive. Dormant. He seems to make no moves, other than as a glorified consultant, despite starting as the main threat.
In Blood of Arlathan, when he finally rears his head again as major a player on the board, it's with a gallant offer of help. As an ally. He is exactly what you need, right when you need it, and you don't even have to ask him to be. And- because you don't have constant access to him, you maybe haven't even considered him an option!
He feels extremely intentionally sparing to me before this in service of a) making you think you're the one with power over him and b) causing you to forget he might contribute at all, so that when he finally does, it seems wholly benevolent. It comes in a moment where your goals are exactly aligned, and indisputably noble.
It's a waiting game. A classic of his, harkening back to stories we've heard time and again about Fen'harel and traps.
As Felassan tells it in the Masked Empire:
Fen'Harel was captured by the hunting goddess, Andruil. He had angered her by hunting the halla without her blessing, and she tied him to a tree and declared that he would have to serve in her bed for a year and a day to pay her back. But as she made camp that night, the dark god Anaris found them, and Anaris swore that he would kill Fen'Harel for crimes against the Forgotten Ones. Andruil and Anaris decided that they would duel for the right to claim Fen'Harel. He called out to Anaris during the fight and told him of a flaw in Andruil's armor just above the hip, and Anaris stabbed Andruil in the side, and she fell. Then Fen'Harel told Anaris that he owed the Dread Wolf for the victory and ought to get his freedom. Anaris was so affronted by Fen'Harel's audacity that he turned and shouted insults at the prisoner, and so he did not see Andruil, injured but alive, rise behind him and attack with her great bow. Anaris fell with a golden arrow in his back, badly injured, and while both gods slumbered to heal their wounds, Fen'Harel chewed through his ropes and escaped.
He goads his enemies into fighting each other for his benefit. Anaris, who had hunted him, succeeds with Fen'Harel's advice, exploiting a weakness he could only see with his aid. In turn, Anaris himself is left exposed. The victory goes to Fen'Harel, who has now dispatched two enemies at once and cleverly won his freedom.
He who was both Creator and Forgotten One. Who could walk amongst both as kin, and who in the end turned his back on them all.
Another tale:
The god Fen'Harel was asked by a village to kill a great beast. He came to the beast at dawn, and saw its strength, and knew it would slay him if he fought it. So instead, he shot an arrow up into the sky. The villagers asked Fen'Harel how he would save them, and he said to them, 'When did I say that I would save you?' And he left, and the great beast came into the village that night and killed the warriors, and the women, and the elders. It came to the children and opened its great maw, but then the arrow that Fen'Harel had loosed fell from the sky into the great beast's mouth, and killed it. The children of the village wept for their parents and elders, but still they made an offering to Fen'Harel of thanks, for he had done what the villagers had asked. He had killed the beast, with his cunning, and a slow arrow that the beast never noticed.
Felassan is everywhere in the Crossroads, in memories, in regrets, in notes that speak to a time you can barely fathom and traces of a friendship that is never once brought up by Solas directly (to my knowledge at least). I think Felassan serves a lot of purposes; he's a window into history, into Solas' mind and ideals, someone who challenges moments of ruthlessness but is loyal, an advisor who keeps Solas grounded even as he pushes him to become something larger than he is, a lingering notion of a loss that you can never really see the full scale of, and so on. And I think, too, that he's written carefully to be a meaningful presence from the rebellion without explicitly spoiling what eventually happens to him, which I wouldn't be surprised if was a legit consideration made for people who might go back and read the Masked Empire after dav lol- in the same way that Trespasser only really spoils the book if you already know what happens.
But for me, every note signed with his name is almost a tongue-in-cheek warning about what's to come. Felassan. A slow arrow, fired apparently mockingly into the sky, only to strike true when it's least expected. A solution executed with neither kindness nor explanation, serving first and foremost the interests of the one who fired it. Felassan's presence in the game ever so slightly encodes a reminder of who you're actually dealing with and what his core tenants are, whether as an ally or an adversary. You only know if you know, but it doesn't seem an accident to me that this reoccurring name of a general who shaped himself in honor of the Dread Wolf's unorthodox cleverness is so key to these traces of Fen'Harel's past, despite, again, never directly being discussed.
Anyways, to Rook. First, I gotta give a shoutout to Bryony Corrigan, whose voice I used for mine- she honestly made the game for me, especially in moments where I felt unsure of it. I love Rook, I love how they're written, and I love how they're performed. While a complete blank slate protagonist can be really fun, I find putting myself as a player in conversation with limitations given by the game really fun and interesting, and often surprising! And I do feel there's still plenty of flexibility.
My perspective on the relationship between Rook and Solas in Veilguard is specific to how I played of course, and I haven't seen other versions of their dynamic at this point to compare so I can't speak to them. But my experience was as such:
I didn't come into the game wanting to intentionally antagonize him. If he rose at me, I rose at him- and those moments of tension were really, really fun. But I tried to accept what he gave me with a fairly open mind. Skepticism, sure, but also the knowledge that ultimately, we both wanted Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain gone, and he knew them better than I did.
It was really gratifying, then, to see our rocky partnership evolve over time into what seemed like a genuine respect. But it didn't really feel straightforward to me either. For example, the conversation before Weisshaupt held a lot of weight for me: listening to him tell that chilling tale about undermining an enemy with persistent laughter and finding that 'Do whatever it takes to remove those who oppose you' was something we came out aligned on was.... There was an element of foreboding to that. Like, I had found myself actively trying to impress him here! And feeling good when it seemed like I had, but uneasy about how I had done it, even when I agreed with what I'd said.
And of course, after that comes Arlathan. Solas' big hero moment. This is the point in the game where our alliance finally felt comfortable to me. The conversation in the fade after was the first time that it really seemed like we were on even ground. And the game- not just Solas- told me here outright that I had earned his respect! After that, I didn't consider betrayal a possibility for a moment. Honestly, I barely even considered him an antagonist at all, because he had become a partner instead! I was expecting something clever down the line, but I wasn't worried about it hurting me. Our disagreements had been set aside, and the goal of his that I had initially opposed had been so thoroughly usurped I had forgotten that he was even pursuing it. And yes, that's perhaps naivety on my part, but I was so distracted by that not at all being the main plot that I forgot that it actually still was. Which is the whole point, right? He waits until your head is turned the other way to strike.
All this to say, my reaction when you kill Ghilan'nain and Solas uses the instability of the Veil to force you into his prison went beyond shock and confusion. It wasn't until well into his villain monologue that I was able to accept that he had betrayed me at all- having been thus far trying desperately to convince myself that the sequence I was seeing was Elgar'nan playing mind games in retaliation, and not actually Solas.
That prison moment is his Slow Arrow. You are Anaris to Elgar'nan's Andruil, the dagger the chink in her armor, and Ghilan'nain's death the golden arrow striking you in the back.
The wolf chews its leg off to escape the trap.
And I should say, I was coming at this all from the meta perspective of someone who loves Solas and empathizes with him and has never seen him as irredeemable or evil- and I, the player, who believed that all game and is ultimately satisfied with the resolution I got- felt hoodwinked as fuck in this moment lmao!!
There's a line in the prison that Varric has about it being easier for Solas to play the villain when he knows he's causing harm- so I do think he plays up his sinisterness here on purpose. But it's such a slap in the face coming straight off of "You have earned the respect of the Dread Wolf." A true and profound betrayal, at least for me.
And it doesn't stop there! His trickster maneuvers and half-truths aren't done until the credits roll. I love that when you meet again, he is nothing but apologies. He makes every concession- that Varric was a good man, that every victory in this fight has been yours, that he needs you and not the other way around, that he was wrong and made mistakes and betrayed people who never deserved it. And of course, we know from experience at this point that this won't stop him from doing it again anyways. But he never holds back from placing the blame on himself. Agreeing with you. Telling you you're right, and that Elgar'nan must be stopped. He only ever says things that are true. Things that are aligned with your point of view.
"[The veil] will never come down by my hand." Well, yes. Because it will fall on its own when Elgar'nan is dead. You won't hardly have to do anything at that point, Solas, will you?
It doesn't matter if Rook isn't falling for it, because if they don't accept his partnership, they lose! That's it! It's the same as it was at the start, but with the added sting of knowing it probably won't work out in your favor this time.
I remember before launch John Epler saying that Solas sees himself in Rook, which really echoes throughout the whole game for me. There are some ways you could say Solas seems opposite to Rook- and of course this can wax and wane depending on roleplaying choices, but the central conceit of Rook as Varric's recruit is that they are a specialist in being willing to act. And on the surface at least, that's kind of counter to Solas' Slow Arrow, right? Blunt force versus delayed gratification. But not entirely! Because every backstory we have for Rook revolves around a kind of heroism that is unorthodox enough to have left you ultimately punished for it. Like yeah, yeah, you saved some lives.... The optics were kinda bad though, so maybe you could go on a sabbatical for a while?
Rook is, from the start, an unconventional and unsung hero, admonished by some for ruffling feathers that they shouldn't have in pursuit of a noble goal. Not unlike Fen'Harel.
I find, too, that there's kind of a nesting doll of parallels around Rook and Solas as foils that the whole story hinges on:
We see Solas, his regrets plastered on every wall, each of them tied to Mythal. At every turn he seems to warn her that this is not the right path, but he follows her down it anyways, until he is left with nothing but an overwhelming need to fix what they have broken.
We see Felassan, who still wears Mythal's vallaslin on his face, challenging Solas' judgement and methods, but still standing by him through the rebellion, after the Veil, for however many thousands of years they slept. Ultimately, in the Masked Empire, the thing that makes him falter is his admiration for someone else's pursuit of freedom. His admiration for Briala.
"I suspect you'll hate this, but she reminds me of-"
Solas is Rook. Solas is Briala. Upstarts, flawed defenders, people who are made into leaders because of their willingness to fight for something. Who see injustice and cannot rest.
Solas is Felassan, the devoted general. One who pushes against his orders but cannot deny them. Someone who loves the cause, but more than that is dedicated to the person who champions it. A voice of reason who, in the end, turns away.
Solas is Mythal, a pragmatic leader, responsible for uncountable deaths. Someone who has relied on partners and power structures that have led her down a dark path, partners whose mistakes in their pursuit of power have become her own. Partners who in the end betray her.
Solas is trapped in his regrets because they are not all his. He struggles with having been failed and with how he has failed others, and in his mind the two become conflated. He carries these contradictory roles on his back- perpetrator and victim, betrayer and betrayed- and cannot see how to overcome them. He is ultimately freed by Mythal's absolution because the foremost factor in his crusade is not belief but guilt.
The ends have to justify the means, because there is no other way he can live with himself. And at every step, he is trying to redeem Mythal as much as he is trying to redeem himself.
He did not want a body, but she asked him to come. He wanted to give wisdom, not orders. I will always follow where you go.
He left a scar when he burned her off his face.
It was all for her. It was always for her.
Solas' duplicity is unending, but so is his devotion. And there is such an earnestness to a Rook, always betrayed, that sees and empathizes with that and uses it to free him.
* I will say that during the game I was definitely wishing you could show your hand to him a little more and press him about his memories prior to the endgame (and separate from this I have quibbles with the impact of some of those memory reveals- like wrt the delivery just not feeling as weighty as I would like. The payoff is absolutely still there in the end, it just felt to me like they were too nonchalantly getting a ton of info out that had to be established moving forward, despite these being like earthshattering reveals that people have Correctly (!!!!) theorized about for up to 15 years). That being said, in retrospect it would have lessened the impact of the finale to have pressed Solas about, for example, his relationship to Mythal prior to absolutely pulling the rug out from under him with it at the 11th hour. And additionally, it's a structural nightmare because you can uncover the memories at almost any point in the story, and you don't have constant access to Solas to chat with him about them. Which you shouldn't imo, in service to the story being told!! But it's also true that early on I found scenes with Solas super gripping, and scenes with my team often...not. And that was initially disheartening, but developed positively over time on all fronts once the game didn't have to worry about setting things up. So, I did wish for more here at first, but I've revised my opinion now that I can see the whole arc.
#ok one fucking gigantic solas post to dump some thoughts and feelings and analysis out#veilguard spoilers#it speaks#vir dirthera#long post
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TWST OC Questions
I am supposed to be working on a req I got about a month ago OTL but I need uh. serotonin from something in the meantime LMAO (it is more than half way finished, dear requester, if you see this) ANYWAYS
Obviously, if you want to ask a question that's under one category but for an OC that doesn't fit under that category, you can <3 its more what that dorm inspired me to ask about
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RAMSHACKLE
Does your OC have magic? Do they develop it over time? Do they overblot? If they don't, do they ever reach a snapping point?
Does your OC follow the canon timeline? If not, how have you adapted their story?
Is your OC shipped with anyone? If so, who? What's their dynamic like?
Is your OC homesick? What are they willing to do to get back? How 'on' Crowley's ass are they? If not, why don't they want to go home? Do they have an issue with Crowley anyways? Have they considered/do they care about what happens to Grim if they were to leave?
How does your OC customize Ramshackle, if they do at all? How do they cope with the state it's in when they first arrive?
Is there anyone your OC sees as family?
How does your OC feel about magic in general?
What chapter does your OC experience the most character growth, if any?
What is YOUR favourite character's impression of your OC when they first meet?
What would your OC say their greatest strengths/flaws are? Do you agree with them?
Are there any characters your OC absolutely does not get along with?
How many times do you think your OC ends up in the infirmary? Besides canon, can you tell us about a time they've gone in?
Which housewarden does your OC clash with the most? Who do they relate to the most, if any?
What are some mannerisms your OC has picked up from the people around them? (be it other (people's) OCs or Canon Characters)
What's their relationship like with the ghosts? With Grim?
What class do they dread the most? Why?
Has your OC ever been sent to Crowley's office for their (mis)conduct in class/on school grounds?
Is there someone who scares them? Why? Do they ever work through it?
What's your OC's best memory since coming to NRC?
Do they work for Crowley? Or do they find another job bc FUck the bird?
HEARTSLAYBUL
Have they ever gotten collared by Riddle? For what? How long? How often does it happen?
Do they think they could be a better housewarden? What makes them think that?
What's the chore unique to Heartslaybul that they look least forward to? What's their favourite? (tending the flamingoes/hedgehogs, organizing the Unbirthday parties, painting the roses, etc. etc.)
How many rules have they memorized? How many do they actually follow?
If it was their turn to take care of the dormouse, how would they do it? What flavour jam would they spread on its nose at the Unbirthday party?
What's the worst thing they've gotten away with? What's something they do exclusively in the rose maze in hopes nobody finds out, if anything?
Who are they more likely to go to if they have an issue that needs to be addressed? (Riddle, Trey, or, pushing an HC here, former housewarden Cay-Cay?)
How clumsy are they? Does the unique furniture and layout of Heartslaybul ever throw them off? (Do you HC the dorm the same way I do?) Have they adjusted to it?
If Riddle offered to tutor your oc, would they take him up on the offer? If not, how do they normally study/prepare for tests?
What's your OCs favourite flower? Would it be realistic for them to grow it in their room/on the dorm somewhere?
SAVANNACLAW
Where do they consider themselves in the alleged 'hierarchy'? Is this accurate?
What sport do they specialize in? If they don't play, what club are they in? Or do they ever play referee?
Does your OC ever get into physical altercations? How do they usually play out?
Does your OC respect Leona? Do they want him to do anything differently? Does Leona know your OC? Does he respect them?
Does your OC have beef with someone outside of the dorm? Is it reasonable in your opinion? Is the other character aware?
How does your OC feel about all the dirt/heat in Savannaclaw? Have they ever considered transferring dorms just to get away from it?
How protective of their food are they? Is there a reason why, besides instinct/hunger? Or are they more likely to share food?
(assuming your OC is a beastman) What's something that makes them easy to read? (eg. tail wagging, ear wiggles, fur standing on end, etc. etc.) and do they wish they could change it? Are they sensitive to the paranormal?
Was there any alterations made to their ceremonial robes? Did someone have to help them put it on?
What do they think of Ruggie and his workload? Do they consider it fair? Are they jealous of how close he is with Leona?
OCTAVINELLE
Do they work at the Mostro Lounge? If so, what position? Was it by choice? Do they enjoy it? What's their biggest customer pet peeve/most ridiculous request they've seen/heard?
Have they ever made a contract with Azul? How did it go?
Can they be trusted in the kitchen? What's their favourite food?
Are they intimidated by the tweels? How did their first meeting go? Have they ever had the opportunity to put them in their places?
Do they like being under the water all the time in their dorm? And if they're a mer, do they go home for the winter holidays or no?
Does your OC enjoy wearing the funky dorm socks....not the uniform, just the socks, or do they try to cover them up like Jade?
Has your OC ever been blackmailed? Or do they do the blackmailing? What about your OC fits the nefarious energy the canon characters give off? Or are they meant to balance them out?
Did they know about the plan to make Ramshackle a second Mostro Lounge location? How did they feel about it? If they didn't know, how did they react afterwards?
Does your OC play any instruments? Does Azul know that they play? Can your OC sing?....Do you agree with your OC's opinion of their ability to sing?
Is your OC claustrophobic? Or do they enjoy small spaces?
SCARABIA
How do they feel about Kalim's parties? Do they ever help with set up/take down?
How do they feel about Jamil? His workload? Do they think what he did to Kalim was just/did they agree that change was needed in the dorm?
How do they handle the sand?
Has your OC ever stolen anything from Kalim's rooms of treasure?
What's something your OC does want to change in the dorm?
If they participate in Kalim's parties, what's their favourite part?
What's your OCs favourite way to stay hydrated in the sweltering heat of the dorm?
How did your OC feel about the whole hostage situation with the random magicless person from Ramshackle?
How did your OC fare on the treks hypnotized Kalim took them on?
If electing dorm leaders was a possibility, who would they choose and why? (if it's themselves, bonus points if you show a campaign poster or tell me about it or something LMAO)
POMEFIORE
What's their favourite type of poison?
What DnD class would your OC be? (I ask this bc I feel like. Pomefiore has the most diversity in that aspect than any other dorm)
Has Vil ever personally given your OC a makeover/pep talk about their appearance? How did it go?
What's a scent you associate with your OC?
What's your OC's aesthetic outside of school affiliated clothing?
How well does your OC know makeup?
Is your OC starstruck by Vil? Are they jealous of him? Are they in film studies club? (Aka, what is their dynamic with Vil?)
Between Vil and Neige, who did they vote for at the VDC?
Does your OC have issues with the way food is monitored in Pomefiore? Do they ever confront Vil about it? Do they have stashes of food anywhere?
What's your OC's biggest insecurity, physically and personality wise?
IGNIHYDE
Is your OC an introvert, or just selectively social? Or are they extroverted?
What is the project/invention they are most proud of?
What's a hidden talent they have?
What's a hobby they enjoy doing alone? What's a hobby they enjoy doing with other people? If it's gaming, what type of games do they enjoy most?
How competitive is your OC? How easy is it to rile them up?
Is there anything your OC would infodump about? How do you get them to share? Do they ever get insecure about their rambling?
Do they want to apprentice somewhere like S.T.Y.X/for the Jupiter Conglomerate? What's their dream career? Do they ever try to impress Idia hoping to get their foot in the door?
Does your OC ever find out what Idia's (canon) UM is? If not, do they have a theory on what it might be? What is it?
How did your OC react to Ortho returning to school in Chapter 6 (trying to avoid spoilers sjkfklsjdfh)
What's your OC's favourite piece of media/what would be the equivalent of their favourite media in our world?
DIASOMNIA
What's your OC's favourite type of music? Is there anybody they listen to music with? (Jamming out to Canon in D with Malleus amirite OTL /j)
Are they scared of Malleus/the power he has?
Has Lilia ever pranked them? How did it go? Did they get him back?
Have they ever tasted Lilia's cooking. Did. Did they like it?
What's a magic skill your OC specializes in?
What's a "traditional" or old fashioned hobby your OC has? (Calligraphy, fencing, leatherwork, etc, etc.) How did they pick it up?
If your OC is fae/has a prolonged life span, did they participate in the same life events as Lilia? (again, I'm trying to stay spoiler free)
On a scale from 1 - 10, how powerful would you rank your OC? What about their UM? (and what is their UM?)
Which of the 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony, sloth) do you associate most with your OC and why? (remember some of these have more than one connotation e.g. blood lust)
What's your OC's favourite orchestral instrument?
FACULTY
What position do they have? How long have they been working there?
Did they go to school with any of the canon faculty/other character's parents?
How well do they remember students names and faces?
Did they know Ace's older brother? What was their impression of him?
What's a quirk they have regarding how they teach their class? (e.g. allowing cheat sheets, mandatory brain breaks, pop quizzes, weird disciplining, etc.) If they're not a teacher, how is the way they interact with students different than they interact with coworkers?
What's their opinion on Crowley/Ambrose? Given the opportunity, would they take over as headmage?
How do they feel about all the overblots? Do they ever feel slightly responsible or like they should have been there to support the students more?
How do they deal with entitled attitudes or otherwise disrespectful students?
Are there any students they've come to see as their own kid? How do they feel about the one magicless student on campus?
Do they enjoy being a part of student gossip/actively involved in student drama?
GENERAL QUESTIONS
Do they stim? What are they and what triggers it? How much do they mask?
What's something they'll never leave home without?
What was the main inspiration behind their design?
What's in their bag? (link to picrew)(if you want)
How do they handle caffeine? If they need/enjoy it, what's their preferred method of consumption? Have they ever concerned anyone with their intake?
Do they have any family heirlooms? What is it, and how long has it been in the family?
What's the fastest way to piss them off? To calm them down? To cheer them up?
What is their ideal date, be it romantic/platonic or otherwise?
Have they thought about their dream home? What's an absolute must have?
What are their minor fears?
Do they have any regrets?
If they could go back in time and talk to themselves, what age would they want to talk to? What would they say?
Do they have light in their eyes? If not, is there anything that sparks it, even temporarily?
What's their relationship with their parents? Siblings?
If they could magically change ONE aspect of their life immediately with no repercussions, what would it be?
Do they have any body modifications or tattoos? Any that aren't obvious just looking at them/in uniform?
What's their guilty pleasure?
If they could fight anyone with a guaranteed win against them, who would it be?
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OTL I HAVE MORE QUESTIONS but I'm going to leave it at that for now <3
If you're new to tumblr, the general rule of thumb is if you're going to reblog an ask game send an ask in too. Not to me. To whoever you RB from, okay <3? If you're RBing from me don't worry about sending one in unless you really want to sdkhlkf
Have fun <3
#v talks#twst#twisted wonderland#twst hcs#twst headcanons#twst scenarios#twst oc#twst ocs#twst heartslabyul#twst savanaclaw#twst octavinelle#twst scarabia#twst pomefiore#twst ignihyde#twst diasomnia#twisted wonderland ask game#twst ask game#twst mc#twst yuu#twst yuu oc#disney twst#yuusona#twst wonderland
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it's nice to see mystery trio aus that aren't fiddlestan tbh. The amount of times I'll see one, think it looks interesting, and then it just turns into "wow Stan, you're so much nicer and cooler than your lame brother! Lets date!" And act like it's some kind of karma for Ford or something.
I definitely agree with your take that so often fiddlestan is just used as a way to express dislike of Ford, while ignoring any of Stan's canonical flaws
As a side note, since this is more of personal headcanon territory, but i think Stan would find Fiddleford too reminiscent of Ford when he was young to actually be interested.
Anyway, i always love to see Stan in his natural habitat (being a chaotic uncle)
I love the idea of the Mystery Trio. I think these three would play off each other really well. They're cute and funny together, but you don't need Fiddlestan. It feels like people treat it as a given that if offered the choice between Stan and Ford Fidds would choose Stan. Which is kind of shitty. (Low key it kind of reads to me like Ford is assumed the worse partner because he's autistic :/ even if people aren't consciously treating him that way.)
I think it's kind of presumptuous to assume Fidds would be into Stan anyway. Like physically attracted to him? Sure, obviously. If he finds Ford attractive odds are good Stan would also be nice to look at, but relationships aren't just physical attraction and it's obvious from the journals and BOB that Fidds had a very strong connection to Ford. If he's in love with an autistic nerd enough to throw his life away for him why would people assume Stans's wildly contrasting personality would somehow be more appealing?
I've actually had this comic kicking around in my mind for a while and this ask gave me a good excuse to draw it. (Though it took longer than expected)
While I don't think Fidds would ever choose Stan over Ford, I do think Ford would be a bit of a jealous and insecure partner. He's used to a lot of social rejection and struggles to maintain connections with people. Not to mention trust issues, especially after Bill who tried to sabotage his faith in Fiddleford in particular.
I wouldn't put it past Ford to get antsy seeing Fidds get along with his brother even if there's absolutely nothing going on there.
Also, I hadn't considered the suggestion that Stan might find Fidds nerdiness a turn-off because it reminds him too much of his brother, but yeah I could see it. Still, I'd buy Stan being interested in Fidds before I could really see the other way around happening. I think Stanley's tastes are bit broader but Fiddleford I imagine to have a bit more of a type. At least where romantic attraction is concerned. That said I don't think Fiddleford's actual tastes are really considered, I think he gets shipped with Stanley by people who want to see Stanley get that kind of overbearing love that Fidds showed to Ford. I do understand wanting to give him that kind of partner but Ford deserves love too, we don't need to be taking his healthy romantic option away from him and leave him with Bill. (His abuser.)
#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#ford^2#fiddauthor#au#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#young ford pines#stanly pines#young stanley#papa ford au#mystery trio
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In Every Universe
Well. S2EP7 huh. What a ride. Went back to rewatch parts of it while researching for this fic and man, does it still hit as hard as ever. I suppose the sad Arcane playlist didn't help either.
Right, here it is, the longest piece I've ever written in all my years of fanfiction writing. I'm so glad Arcane existed, for all its flaws I still love the series with my whole heart and especially a certain one-eyed war criminal underground drug lord.
Playlist I listened to while writing this:
Spoilers for Arcane Season 2 Episode 7 ahead
One moment you're face to face with the arcane itself, and the next you're staring at a wooden ceiling that's somehow familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. There's something warm next to you and your confused mind registers the weight of something on your chest.
Your first instinct is to quickly free yourself, to put some distance between you and the possibly harmful object, so you lash out at it, rolling off the bed. A rather familiar sounding yelp of pain comes from your left, but your disoriented mind can't remember why it sounds so familiar.
"Easy there, love," a voice groans. Your breath catches in your throat when the figure the voice belongs to sleepily sits up, rubbing his eye.
Silco?
You shake your head. This can't be, he's dead, you've seen his body, you know for certain he's dead, but then why are you seeing this? An illusion? A trick of the mind? Hallucinations?
Your mind races through the possibilities, each more absurd than the last. 'Silco' slides off the bed, carefully approaching you as he should and you properly take in his appearance. Gone is his orange and black eye, instead white surrounds a pale yellow iris. His features are softer, sea-foam coloured eye filled with a level of concern and worry you've only seen him show before he became The Eye of Zaun.
"Love?" His voice snaps you out of your thoughts.
You narrow your eyes at him, muscles tensing. "If this is an illusion, it's a terrible one considering you can't even replicate Silco properly."
"What are you talking about, love? The last I checked, I wasn't an illusion," 'Silco' tilts his head in confusion and raises his hands in surrender. "I mean you no harm, love."
Your hands clench into fists. His words may not contain any lies you can detect but you know better than to let down your guard in unfamiliar territory. You shift your foot and lunge at him, tackling 'Silco' to the ground with a snarl. His eye widens but just like the Silco you know, he quickly regains his signature calm and throws you off.
"I don't want to hurt you, love, but you're not giving me much of a choice with that attitude of yours." 'Silco' huffs. His palms remain open but you can see his muscles tense slightly. You continue your barrage of attacks, and he counters them all with practiced ease, as though he's seen those moves a thousand times before.
The both of you dance until you gain the upper hand by pulling out a move that catches him off guard and pin him to the ground. Your hand slips to where you know he hides a dagger but your fingers find nothing, to your surprise. Taking advantage of that moment, 'Silco' rolls out from under you, panting.
"Now now, love. I know we're married but still, warn me before you start feeling me up." He flashes you a cheeky grin, something he hasn't done in a long time and leaves you even more confused. Something isn't adding up, he's both the Silco you know and isn't. He knows your fighting moves, knows how to counter them which proves that he is the Silco you know and he smells like the Silco you know — cigar ash and scotch. However his left eye is different and he doesn't carry Vander's dagger on him at all times. Wait did he say the two of you are married?
"Married?" You echo.
"Don't tell me you lost your memory," he frowns. "You're acting weird today, love, what has gotten into you?"
"You're the weird one!" You spit back. There's no sensible explanation for any of this…unless…
"Everything alright in there? I know I told you two to turn things down especially at night, some of us need to sleep." Yet another familiar voice sounds from outside the door.
Vander?
"Everything's fine, and don't worry you'll be getting the sleep you need every night," 'Silco' drawls before turning back to you. You stare wide-eyed at the door, throat tightening as emotions threaten to overwhelm you. Flashes of your past with the two brothers race through your mind, Vander's easy smile and comforting presence, Silco's sharp wit and seeming indifference towards you and Vander, your laughter and love for them both. A tear slides down your cheek and you bolt from the room, racing down the stairs you know so well and out the bar, only to be met with a city you don't recognise.
Zaun is lit up, the sun shining down on both cities as Zaunites and Piltovians alike walk past you, chatting away. The streets bustle as hawkers call out their wares and golden light shines upon the Bridge of Progress which is further littered with shops instead of blockades and enforcers. Everywhere you look, buildings stand tall and proud, colour decorates the dirty grey city you knew and your heart shatters.
This…is this what could have been?
Your vision blurs from the tears pouring down your face as it hits you. This is an alternate reality, there's no other explanation. A reality where Zaun becomes independent, co-existing as equals with Piltover. A reality where Silco and Vander's dream comes true.
You stand in the middle of the street with tear streaks on your cheeks, eyes puffy and feel so lost until someone drapes something over your shoulders. It's warm, whatever it is, and smells nice.
"I'm right here." Arms gently guide you to rest your head on a familiar shoulder. "Take all the time you need."
You're not sure why but that's all it takes for the dam to break and you find yourself sobbing hard into his shoulder. His arms wrap around you, pulling you closer and you feel his lips press against the top of your head. You hug him tightly, mind still screaming that this is all a dream, but if this is really just all a dream, you don't want to wake up.
Once you've calmed down, you lift your head and Silco smiles softly at you. "Shall we go home?"
You hum in agreement, letting him lead you back to The Last Drop. You can feel his hand resting on the small of your back, his shoulder brushing against yours and lean into the touch, grateful for the support. He feels the same as the Silco you know, and if you close your eyes, you're back there again, before the incident at the bridge, before you were forced to choose between Silco and Vander.
When you enter The Last Drop, 'Vander' slides a glass of your favourite drink towards you while 'Silco' takes a seat next to you.
"Nothing for me?" 'Silco' teases. 'Vander' laughs, but slides him a glass of scotch anyways. 'Silco' takes a sip before placing the cup between the two of you, gently resting his hand on your forearm. You cautiously place your own hand on top of his, it fits the same way as your Silco's hand does, but your Silco is dead and this Silco is alive. Then again your Vander is dead and this Vander is alive.
You sniff the drink in front of you, eyeing it warily. 'Silco' snorts, lifting the glass to his lips and takes a mouthful. "See? Not poisoned. What has gotten into you today?"
You frown, tapping your finger on the counter top as you think of a way to broach this topic. How were you going to explain that somehow, you had been transported into your body from an alternate universe? There was also the nagging question of where Ekko, Heimerdinger and Jayce were, if they were even in this universe as well. You heave a sigh, looking into sea foam and grey eyes.
"Just a nightmare." You can't tell them anything, and doubt they'll believe you anyways. 'Silco' narrows his eyes but 'Vander' places a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. 'Silco' scowls but relents and leaves you alone for the rest of the day, which you spend exploring this alternate reality.
Turns out, this is the reality in which Vi died in the explosion. 'Vander' has different tattoos, but he still betrayed 'Silco' and tried to kill him. How the two made up, well for whatever reason the two seemed adamant about keeping it quiet, but it made your heart ache for what could have been back in your universe.
That night, you can't sleep. Your mind is racing, going through everything you've learnt today. In the dark, you can see 'Silco' peacefully slumbering on his right side, an arm draped over your waist. His chest gently rises and falls with each breath he takes, his face buried into your chest. He looks completely different from your Silco when he sleeps, his dark brown hair tousled, facial muscles relaxed and lips curved into what looks like a smile. Your Silco never slept on his right side, always preferring to sleep on his left side with a dagger clutched under the pillow.
'Silco' mumbles something, stirring slightly and you shift, only for him to blindly grasp for your arm so that he can bury himself further into your chest, bringing a small smile to your face. It's been so long since you've shared your bed with another, maybe you can indulge him just this once. It wouldn't hurt…right?
You run your fingers through his hair, remembering the times where you'd comb his hair for him, gently pressing kisses to his scarred cheek until he told you he had a meeting to attend and then you'd kiss him on the lips for good luck before letting him go. 'Silco' purrs softly, nuzzling into you and holds you closer, a free heater on this cool night.
You miss this. You miss hugging your lover like it's your last moment in this world, you miss his touch, his warmth. You miss the way he holds you tightly when he's feeling down, the feeling of his forehead pressing against yours, the electricity that crackles in the air when his fingers linger on your hand longer than it needs to as he passes you his cigar. You miss the way he makes your heart race from all the small smiles he sends your way during a meeting with the chem-barons, the way he makes you stifle a laugh when he rolls his eye at their bickering, but most of all the way he holds your hand. Your palms have always slotted into each other's like puzzle pieces, made perfectly for one another.
This 'Silco' is the same, yet different, and despite all his faults, you've always loved your Silco. It's why you chose to side with him over Vander, why you walked down the path towards hell with him despite knowing where it led. You knew that given the choice again, you would always choose him over everything else, and if that made you loyal to him to a fault, so be it.
Still, you wonder if you could've steered him towards the path this 'Silco' took. Would you have been able to nudge him towards forgiveness, leaving his hatred and vengeance behind for the shared dream of Zaun? You shake your head, what's past is past, there's no changing it. The only thing you can do now it look forward, and push on ahead, as you know your Silco would want you to, but doing so is so much harder than knowing it.
I love you, the words you were never able to say to him. The both of you always knew how the other felt, but neither of you ever verbalised it. You trace 'Silco's' scars, wondering if this version of you ever uttered those words to him.
"Can't sleep, love?" He mumbles, rolling over so that he can see you.
"It's just…been a long day."
He hums, and then pulls you into a hug, resting his chin on the top of your head. Rubbing gentle circles on your back, he nuzzles your hair. "Then you better get as much rest as you can. I'll be here when you wake up."
Tears begin to fill your eyes again but you squeeze them shut, willing the grief away. If this is a dream, you want it to continue on forever. You don't want to wake up, you don't want to lose Silco and Vander again.
But you still wake up.
Because you have to.
On your second day, you learn that Ekko and Powder are preparing for a competition.
"Ekko?"
"Y/N?"
"Are you —"
"Do you know where we can talk in private?"
You've never been so relieved to hear that.
You learn that Ekko and Heimerdinger have met up, and that Jayce is nowhere to be found. Ekko has a theory that recreating what brought all three of you to this universe in the first place might be able to send you all back home, and he's been trying to do just that the past few days.
"Home," you echo, staring at the bustling city below.
"You…don't want to go back?"
"Do you?" Your question catches him off guard and he pauses, looking at the ground.
"I…I don't know."
"You and Powder, right?" You give him a knowing look and he looks away, embarrassed. "I know the feeling."
He raises an eyebrow but you press on, ignoring the inquisitive look he sends your way. "This world…this universe, it's everything we've wanted. Well, almost everything. Looking at all this, I don't know if I want to go back. Do I want to throw it all away just to go back to bloodshed, chaos and war?"
"We have people back home who need us."
Sevika.
Jinx.
Their faces flash in your mind and your throat constricts.
"We can't just abandon them, as much as we prefer this world." Ekko's eyes are hard. "We have to go back."
It's hurting him to say this, but he's saying it anyways because he knows it's right. You look back at the bright city of Zaun and sigh. Ekko speaks the cold hard truth, but you're torn. Going back means confronting the reality that Vander, and more importantly Silco, are forever lost to you, that Zaun is still struggling in the fight against Piltover, that you have to fight every day to survive, but going back also means reuniting with your closest friend Sevika, your adopted daughter Jinx, and you know they need you as much as you need them.
"I've made my mind up," Ekko turns to leave. "Let me know when you've made yours up. In the meantime, I'll be working on my theory with Heimerdinger."
"…thanks."
"Never thought I'd hear you thank me."
"Well, I never thought I'd end up in an alternate universe, so there."
Ekko snorts and leaves you alone with your thoughts. He's right, it seems this alternate universe is starting to influence you, in a good way from the looks of it. You huff in amusement, letting yourself smile and look out at the silhouette of Piltover in the distance. You owed it to your Silco to see his dream of an equal Zaun and Piltover, and the only way to do that was to go home.
"You doing alright?" You turn to see 'Vander' standing behind you.
"Well, that depends really. Are you talking physically, emotionally or mentally?"
"Even if he doesn't act like it, Silco's worried about you. He's been asking me to talk to you since you won't tell him what's going on."
"Aren't you supposed to keep that last part a secret?" You chuckle. He shrugs, moving over to stand next to you.
"Well, it's out of the bag now, he can't do anything about that. So, are you going to tell me if everything's alright or am I going to have to pry it out of you with alcohol?"
"Hmph." You take a seat and he follows, carefully watching your every move. "If you had to choose between being with the one you love and saving Zaun, which would you pick?"
"I would save Zaun." You blink at him, surprised at the lack of hesitation in his answer. You knew which option he would choose, but the speed at which he gave his answer was unexpected.
"If there's anything I've learnt from all these years, it's that the ones we love are never truly gone. They are right here." He places a hand over his heart. "Felicia, Vi, everyone we've lost, they're kept alive by our memories, our feelings, our thoughts, and are always with us."
"You always know what to say," you huff, choking back the tears. "Never missed a beat, not even once."
"You can always talk to us, little dove. We're always here for you, Silco and I." You throw yourself into Vander's arms, hugging him tightly. He wraps his arms around you in turn, holding you securely in his warm embrace.
Little dove. You never thought you'd hear that nickname again. The dove had died the day you chose to follow Silco down the path towards hell, you still remember the looks of sorrow Vander had given you as you turned your back on him, hate filling your eyes. You'd been angry at him for what he did to Silco, hurled words you wish you could take back, screamed then cried, wrapped in Silco's cold embrace as he whispered of the revenge the both of you would take on Vander.
And you never got the chance to apologise.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," you wail, clutching at his sleeves. "I should never have said any of that, I shouldn't have cursed you, I take it all back, I take it all back."
"I've already long forgiven you." His words are enough to make you break, screaming out your grief over what you've lost forever. You cry and cry, letting out all your regret, the bottled up emotions finally spilling out after years of containing them for the sake of staying strong. Your nails dig into his arms, gripping onto him for support as your body wracks with every cry. The world around you blurs from the tears and you feel your knees buckle but a pair of strong arms catch you.
"I've got you."
Your body squeezes out one last sob before it collapses, unable to bear the weight of it all anymore.
If only I had your back the same way you always had mine.
When you next open your eyes, you're back on your shared bed with 'Silco', with a singular sea foam coloured eye watching you. He shifts, moving closer to you and gently cups your cheek, thumb gliding over your skin.
"I'm sorry," you whisper. "I thought following you into hell was the best thing I could do for you, but it wasn't. I should have said something, done something to stop you from destroying yourself, cleared your vision when it became clouded, but I was too weak to. I didn't want to lose you, not after losing everything else."
He presses a kiss to your forehead. "I'm right here, just as I promised."
That's right, how could you have forgotten? Promises whispered in the dead of night, huddled on the rooftop under a single coat, lips locking as fingers intertwined, foreheads pressed against each other, time freezing in that moment, the world condensed to just the both of you.
Stay by my side, always?
Always.
Moments clouded by the haze of anger, vengeance and hatred slowly begin to reveal themselves, memories buried the day you turned your back on Vander flooding back into your head. A warm hug, a hand ruffling your hair, deep laughter, the clink of glasses raised in toast to a new future, music playing in the background, a pen nib scratching on paper, hands brushing against one another sending tingles up your spine, a shy smile, lying on the rooftop looking up at nothing, dreaming of a better future.
"Stay, please."
"I'm not going anywhere, love. You're stuck with me forever."
You feel the bed dip as he moves to lie down next to you, slipping his hand into yours. Looking into his eye, you see a glimmer that your Silco lost along with his left eye, a quiet look of adoration, of endless love and you lean in, feeling his soft lips, tasting the scotch he loves to drink.
It feels wrong, this is not your Silco, but just for the moment you let yourself drift away, kissing him deeper, pouring all your love and regret into the act. He kisses back fervently, hungrily devouring you, eye closed as time comes to a stop around the both of you.
"I miss you," you breathe, lips parting. "I miss you so much."
"It's only been half a day."
"Shut up."
"Make me." You slam your lips against his once more, savouring the taste of him, fingers tangled in his hair. He pulls you closer, greedily devouring you. One hand rests on the back of your neck while the other rests on your back as he kisses you like there's no tomorrow. Maybe there is no tomorrow, maybe you have to go back to your universe tonight but right now, all you can think about is how much you've missed this.
Your lips finally part as you gasp for air, lost in the bliss of the moment. You feel his hands cup your cheeks, his forehead pressing against yours as you both bask in each other's presence. He's so warm, nothing like the body you cradled months ago as your world shattered, wails ripped from your throat. His touch is gentle, calloused fingers ghosting over your skin as he holds you like you're the most precious thing in the world.
It's nice, living in this universe where everyone you love is alive and well, where you're happily married to the man you've devoted your life to, but you know you don't belong. Your hands are stained with blood that you can never wash off, Shimmer taints the blood in your veins and your heart is broken beyond repair. In this world of peace, of wholeness, you will never find a place. It's made for the you of this universe, the you who still remembers how to live in a time of peace, who doesn't jump at every shadow believing it to be a threat.
You breathe in deeply, basking in his comforting presence. He still smells of cigar ash and scotch, but it's less sharp. You reach up, placing your hands on top of his and close your eyes. Like this, it's almost as if your Silco is the one cradling your face and you feel a silent tear slide down your cheek.
Damn, you've been crying a lot since you arrived in this universe.
He moves a hand to wipe the tear away, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. As he pulls back, his lips curve into a smile and you mentally save the image. You never imagined he could be capable of such levels of love after Vander's betrayal but here he was, having forgiven Vander, having the courage to marry you openly, having the courage to wear his wedding ring on his finger. He was so much stronger than you thought, and you feel bad for doubting him.
I never thought I'd see you smile like that again, even if it's you in another universe. The thought rings in your head and you can't help but let a chuckle slip. The first genuine laugh you've made since arriving in this universe.
"And what's suddenly so funny?" He does his signature head tilt, mockingly glaring at you. It seems some habits remain the same in every universe.
"Nothing," you hum, heart feeling lighter. It's like a weight has been lifted from your chest, and you feel free. You take in his features, remembering every line on your Silco's face, remembering the shape of his scar, remembering his touch, remembering the way he would kiss you, but these memories no longer choke you, no longer crush you under their weight. Instead, they're cast in a radiant glow, preserved in your heart.
He snorts in disbelief but doesn't press it further, choosing to cuddle under the blanket with you. Your fingers thread through his hair, the rhythm slowly lulling him to sleep and soon he's drifted off, allowing you to untangle yourself from him and slip out.
You head to the rooftop, breathing in the cool night air and watch the lights of the city below twinkle. Gone are the bright and aggressive neon lights of the Zaun you're familiar with, replaced with the soft glow of white lights.
It's beautiful. A different kind of beauty, but still as beautiful as the Zaun you know and love. The night breeze whispers in your ear, carrying the hums of the city's nightlife. You lie down on the cold hard floor, reaching up at the sky with one hand and wonder if you will ever be able to grasp the dream of an independent Zaun for your universe.
"Is the bed not comfortable enough for you?" 'Silco' sits down next to your head, leaning back on his palms.
"Nice to see you too." You've never really registered the fact that he doesn't hide his scars in this universe, but under the night lights, the ridges of his scar stand out, drawing your attention to them. He hums, looking out at the sprawling city.
"Do you think we fall in love in every universe?" You blurt out.
He looks over at you, raising an eyebrow. "Feeling sentimental all of a sudden?"
"Just thinking about it."
He hums, deep in thought. "I would like to believe so."
You smile. "Yeah, me too."
As the night goes by, you feel your eyes start to close. It's so tiring, sorting through your bottled up emotions, but as you look up to see 'Silco' smiling, you decide that maybe it's not so bad if it means you get to see him at peace.
The next few days pass by in a blur. You help 'Vander' prepare The Last Drop for the upcoming Innovator's Competition celebration, hanging up the decorations and drop by Ekko's place for updates on the machine. You do what you can to help Ekko, Powder and Heimerdinger out but amidst geniuses, you can only do so much. Still, as the machine comes closer and closer to completion, trepidation creeps in.
Are you really going to throw it all away just to go home?
On the day of the celebration, you take the chance to explore the city a little more, wanting to take in more of the sights before you return to your universe. 'Silco' offers to accompany you but you turn him down, telling him that it would just be a quick in and out. You see his expression falter for just a split second but he lets you go. You thank him, pressing a quick peck on his scarred cheek before slipping out the door, into the familiar yet unfamiliar streets of Zaun.
You wander around aimlessly, wondering if your Zaun will ever reach the same level of prosperity and peace. Children play in the water fountain, laughing as they splash about without a care in the world. Friends stand around, chatting away as if they have all the time in the world. You feel like a stranger here, used to the dark grey and the shadows that make up your Zaun.
Walking past a bakery, the smell of freshly baked bread fills your nose, bringing you back to the time when you had jumped into Silco's arms, laughing as you clutched a bag of fresh bread stolen from a Piltovian bakery, yelling at him to run before the enforcers could catch up. He had stood there for a moment, cheeks flushed before realising what you just said and took off running, gripping tightly onto your arm. You remember the adrenaline that had coursed through your veins, the loud and freeing laughter that rang through the air, the way you had breathlessly pinned him against the wall, kissing him for the first time as enforcers walked past the both of you, the bag of bread pressed between your bodies. You remember his flustered expression as you broke the kiss, adrenaline fading, his conflicted look before he pulled you in for another kiss, this time deeper.
You buy a bun just for old times' sake, tearing off a chunk. It's pretty good, although not as good as the one you stole. You had shared the stolen bread with Silco, cheekily taking a bite from his loaf and scarpering off before he could do the same to yours, his footsteps and shouts getting louder as he gained on you. He had taken his revenge that day, taking a bite from your loaf before flicking you on the forehead, grumbling about how you made him run so much.
You'd only laughed, ribbing him with your elbow before plopping onto your usual bar stool, eyes shining while he took out his notebook with a sigh, still nibbling on his bread and continued calculating The Last Drop's finances. Vander had shook his head in amusement once he found out what was going on, teasing Silco about getting married to you which caused Silco to bury himself further into his notebook, but neither you nor Vander missed the way the tips of his ears turned red.
The bread that day had tasted sweeter than usual, and back then you had chalked it up to a difference in baking but now that you think about it, it was probably because you were sharing it with Silco. You smile, taking another bite of your bread and continue your aimless journey, watching as the city moves all around you, going about their day.
A particular store catches your attention, the jewellery on display glinting in the light and you make your way over, still munching on your bread. Rings, bracelets, piercings and necklaces fill the counter, but a ring in particular catches your attention. It's a simple silver band on the surface, but you recognise the markings carved into it.
"You've got good taste. That ring's special, carved with archaic runes that are said to preserve the feelings of the gifter." The shopkeeper pushes the box in which the ring sits closer to you.
"So I've heard." You trace the runes, remembering the first time you laid eyes on this ring.
It had been during one of your little adventures into Piltover and a particularly fancy box had caught your eye. Making sure no one was looking, your nimble fingers had swiped the box and you disappeared into the shadows, curious about what lay within. Upon opening the box, you were disappointed by the sight that greeted you. It was a simple silver ring, with nothing of note until you looked closer. Something was carved into the metal, patterns that looked like runes. Now that was a ring worth selling. You had pocketed it, wondering how high you could sell it for until you overheard someone talking about proposing to their girlfriend with a ring amidst a flower field.
A romantic gesture huh. You had slipped the ring out again, looking it over. Would Silco appreciate such a gesture? Marriages were few and far between in Zaun, it was something few could even think about, and fewer chose to go with it. You didn't need marriage to know how Silco felt about you, it was as clear as day to those whom you wanted to know about it and that was more than enough for the both of you. Still, it would make a nice gift, so you had pocketed the ring and headed towards The Last Drop where your proposal had gone terribly unromantic.
You let slip a quiet chuckle as you recall that night, hand reaching for the ring hanging around the chain on your neck and tucked underneath your shirt only to grasp at nothing. Oh…right…this version of you never proposed to Silco via that ring so instead he had proposed to you with a different ring that this version of you wore on your ring finger. You fiddle with the ring on your finger, thanking the shopkeeper for her time before heading back to The Last Drop. It is almost time for the celebration, and you want dibs on the first bottle of alcohol opened.
The walk back feels strangely melancholic, maybe it's the colour the setting sun bathes the city in, maybe it's the thought of needing to leave this city behind when you go back to your universe since the machine is so close to completion, but you purposely walk slower than normal. Your fingers brush along the walls of buildings, run over the stone the water fountains are made from, and gently rest on the cooling metal of the benches.
How will you bid farewell to this universe's Silco? You sit on one of the benches, looking up at the sky, lost in thought. Your heart still yearns for Silco, but you also know that you have a responsibility to Jinx and Sevika, both of whom are in your home universe.
"Penny for your thoughts?" You look to your left as Heimerdinger climbs onto the bench, taking a seat next to you.
"No thanks." You turn your gaze back to the sky, arms draped over the bench's backrest.
"I must admit, I don't know what's troubling you, but I do know when someone's carrying a heavy burden." He follows your gaze, looking up at the sky. "And the burden you bear is a terribly heavy one."
"What do you know of carrying heavy burdens?"
"I know that it's heavier when carried alone, and that the bearer tends to think they're alone when in reality they aren't."
You laugh, "your kind live long lives, don't they?"
"Indeed we do."
"Do you have any regrets then?"
"Oh, plenty, but I've learnt to move on from them. No one doesn't have regrets, what defines us is how we deal with them. Some let their regrets consume them and wallow in self-pity, others rise above their regrets and learn from them. The question is how will you deal with yours?" Heimerdinger looks at you.
"I've been ignoring mine, pretending that they don't exist, but I've been forced to confront them here. I know I can't turn back time to fix my mistakes, I know they can never be fixed, but this — this universe, in this universe my regrets don't exist. I can be free of my regrets here, and yet, I have a duty to those from our universe. I have friends, other family, people to lead. I can't just abandon them, but I don't want to lose this paradise either." You heave a deep sigh, closing your eyes. "I don't know if I can lose the one I love for the second time."
"I admire your strength, it's a kind few possess. To still consider duty when it means losing someone you love again, it's a testament to who you are. I cannot claim to understand how you feel, but I have heard that we only ever truly lose someone when we forget them."
"Hmph. Vander." You snort. "Everywhere I go, he still influences the people around him."
"He must be quite the fellow."
"He is. The Hound of Zaun, people called him. Yet he's the gentlest and kindest person I know. And I let him die." Your words fade into a whisper. "All because I wasn't strong enough to steer the one I loved away from the path of destruction."
"You aren't the only one who has stood by and watched as someone they cared about destroyed themself." Heimerdinger bows his head. "I failed my pupil, and not a day goes by where I wonder if I should have done more back then, but I believe I did what I could. With hindsight as my teacher, I learn not to repeat that mistake so that I won't regret it again. I know you have the strength to do the same."
"Such optimism."
"I only speak the truth. Now then, I must go back to the lab and continue working on our way home. Enjoy yourself at the party, time is precious especially when we only have so much of it left."
"Enjoy myself huh. I suppose I can try." You stand up, stretching your limbs. "I doubt there'll be another party any time soon."
The party that takes place that night is nothing like you've ever experienced before. The floor is abuzz with excited young inventors showing off their latest fancy gadgets, alcohol exchanging hands as friends and lovers alike chat the night away, all the while you hang behind the counter, watching the scene unfold.
"Finally acting your age?" 'Benzo' laughs boisterously, slapping you on the back.
"Could say the same about you," you retort, taking a sip from your glass. 'Silco' had left earlier to mingle with other people, but you weren't exactly in the mood to form more relationships you knew were going to end soon. 'Vander' remained behind the bar counter to serve drinks and in the beginning you tried to help him, but you soon began trying each drink that was opened, much to his amusement and he 'fired' you from your job.
"Go out there and have fun, I've got it covered here." He had shooed you away but all you did was move a couple of steps before stopping, refusing to move any further. 'Vander' had sighed but had let you remain there, and still you remain at your spot, even after 'Silco' has long disappeared into the crowd.
Ekko meets your gaze and leans in, "so, what's your answer?"
"I…I need more time to think." You swallow, glancing at where you last saw 'Silco'.
"You don't have much more time." His eyebrows furrow.
"I know. I just…need to sort some things out first, get rid of the monsters of my past that kind of thing," you joke but Ekko doesn't laugh along.
"Tonight, once the party dies down, come with me to the lab. Heimerdinger said he wants to discuss something with us."
"Sure." With that out of the way, you turn to go and find 'Silco'. He at least needed to know that you would be disappearing tonight. Your heart thunders in your chest, anxiety surfacing as you struggle to think of what to say to him. You can't exactly tell him that you're from an alternate universe and might be going back to your universe soon, that would be insane.
You watch as 'Silco' makes his way over to 'Vander', surprised when he slips an arm around your waist and basically hauls you over as well with a smile.
"So, there's a chance for us yet." He places a hand on 'Vander's' shoulder, looking up at the bigger man. He presses a kiss to your forehead, chuckling, "we'll finally get the rest we deserve, love. Aren't you excited?"
Ekko gapes at you, the pieces finally falling into place. "You —"
"The monsters of my past," you smile sadly at him, letting out a deep breath. "You're not the only one."
Ekko shakes his head but you can tell, he understands. You and Silco, your destinies intertwined no matter the universe. I'm sorry, he mouths. 'Vander' pours a drink for 'Silco' who looks at Ekko with a fondness you've never seen before, a mixture of pride and sass.
"Didn't think I'd miss your big day, did you?" 'Silco' smirks.
"Didn't you try to kill him?" Ekko blurts out and you feel 'Silco's' grip on you tighten. You place your hand on his, thumb brushing over the back of his palm and he shoots you a look of gratitude, taking the glass from 'Vander'.
"The greatest thing we can do in life is find the power to forgive." He raises the glass in toast to 'Vander', gaze softening as he turns to you, taking a sip from his glass before handing the rest to you. "Don't get too drunk, love. I'd rather not have to haul you off to bed later."
"I'm not a child," you pout and 'Silco' laughs, nuzzling into your hair. Ekko chuckles, taking a sip from his drink when suddenly, the lights go out and streamers fall from the ceiling. Powder walks in, turning every head within her vicinity. You watch as Ekko steps forward, taking her hand and begins to dance. Their bodies sway to the beat, moving in sync and the crowd moves to make space for the couple. More begin to dance, twirling upon the dance floor as the music picks up and you can't help but watch, wondering what it's like to feel so free.
"May I?" A voice murmurs in your ear and you look down to find a hand extended towards you. 'Silco' smiles encouragingly and you slip your hand into his.
"I've never —"
"Just follow my lead and trust me."
"Don't you go letting me down, you hear?"
"Have I ever?" He pulls you in, pressing a deep kiss to your lips before spinning you around. Soon, you find yourself led by the music and 'Silco's' gentle guidance, your feet gliding over the dance floor. You feel light as a feather, a big smile gracing your features, eyes focused only on 'Silco' whose gaze remains fixed on you. His fingertips ghost over your skin, sending shivers up your spine and you lean in, lips mere inches away from his before you pull away. You can't recall the last time you felt so alive. The air is electrifying, your lungs gasping for air as 'Silco' pulls you in for another kiss, his arms wrapping themselves around you.
Dawn will come, you know, and the night will be over, but while it lasts, you will squeeze it for every drop of enjoyment it has to offer. You inhale his scent, the cigar ash drowned out by the alcohol he's drunk and capture his lips in a fervent kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer and he indulges you, savouring the taste of your wine-tainted lips.
"I love you," he whispers. "Always, and forevermore."
You open your mouth to say the words you never got to say to your Silco but they get stuck in your throat. You struggle to say something back, emotions threatening to overwhelm you.
"Yeah," you finally manage to breathe out. "I know."
His gaze softens, thumb running over your cheek and you almost don't tell him of your plan to visit the lab tonight but you catch a glimpse of Ekko leaving the party and steel yourself. You have to, this is not your world, as much as you wish it were. You can't keep running away, if Silco can find a way to forgive Vander, you can find a way to forgive yourself.
"Silco?" The word feels foreign on your tongue.
"Yes, love?"
"I need to leave."
"Leave?" He echoes, confused.
"I…Ekko asked me to help him with the finishing touches of his Z-Drive." The excuse is flimsy but 'Silco' buys it anyways. His touch lingers just for a little longer but he lets you go, gently pushing you towards the exit.
"Then you better get going, or the boy wonder is going to need to pull an all-nighter again."
You blink and then smile sadly at him. "Before…I forget. I want — I want to thank you." Grief bubbles to the surface again and you swallow hard. "For everything. Whether you know it or not, you — you've done so much for me. You mean the world to me, you're my everything and — and I don't know what I'd do without you, but I have to try. For your sake and mine. I can't just keep wallowing in despair, grieve as the world moves on around me, I have to move on, keep going one step at a time, because you'd want me to."
Tears prick the corners of your eyes and you whirl around, quickly fleeing as tears flow down your face freely, blurring your vision. You hear 'Silco' call out to you but his voice is muffled by the blood roaring in your ears and the pattering of your shoes against the ground as you run, run and run until you reach the lab.
Ekko and Heimerdinger turn to face you, concern written all over their faces as you harshly wipe away the tears, sniffing.
"So, what's the update?" Your voice wavers.
"Good news! The machine is ready!" Heimerdinger chirps.
"I see. Good thing I've laid the monsters to rest then." You take a deep breath, stepping into the machine with Ekko. "Time to go home."
As the machine comes to life, the arcane begins to whirl around you, howling. This is it, no more going back, no more running away, no more chasing the past. You watch as Heimerdinger connects the power cables, your limbs going numb as he disappears into thin air. Your alternate self's body and Ekko's appear on the floor, unconscious as Powder and 'Silco' run in, eyes wide.
You watch as 'Silco' hugs your alternate self's body to his chest, then looks up at your real body floating inside the sphere. Your gazes connect for the final time and you feel your heart ache. You want to reach out to him, feel his skin on yours one last time, taste his lips one last time, hold him one last time but you know you can't. Your Silco is gone, physically, and there's no bringing him back. So instead you mouth the words you've always wanted to say, trusting that your Silco will hear it anyways from wherever he is in the afterlife, if there even is one.
I love you.
And the arcane snaps everything to black.
#arcane#arcane x reader#arcane season 2#arcane season 2 act 2 spoilers#arcane season 2 spoilers#arcane silco#silco x reader#arcane season 2 episode 7 spoilers#arcane s2ep7 broke me#where do i claim my therapy reimbursement for arcane?#my little meow meow silco#silco angst#some fluff involved but mainly angst#i came only to serve angst in this fic#silco
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What Your Favorite Link Says About You
A.k.a. The Links as tarot cards/your rising sign/your blood type.
Time
You're likely an older Zelda fan. Ibuprofen has become a food group for you. Anyone who thinks OoT isn't the greatest Zelda game has you clutching your pearls and tutting. Kids these days don't know how good they have it.
You are a person to whom young people come for advice, either in your career or in life in general. You're happy to give it, especially because you love to help, but on the inside you're silently screaming, What?? Why me???
You may have trouble sleeping through the night. Even if it's not every night, there are some where you just can't turn your brain off and worries or worst-case scenarios just keep playing and replaying ad nauseaum.
You enjoy time in solitude to appreciate the beauty of nature. I bet you know how to braid a mean daisy crown.
“The flow of time is always cruel...” - Some event in your life took your innocence from you, perhaps much too early. You grew up quickly because of it.
Legend
Either you had a crush on the emo kid in high school or you were the emo kid in high school.
You might be jaded by the world, but you still have a solid work ethic and a soft heart despite it all. Even if you hide it all beneath a healthy layer of sass.
You possess a multitude of skills, not all of which are related. Anytime a friend needs a piece of clothing mended or a picture frame hung on the wall or a leak in a faucet addressed, you have the tools and the willingness to help.
Either you have a history of moving frequently when you were young, or you have a restless spirit. You may never quite feel 'at home' in any given place.
"But, verily, it be the nature of dreams to end." - You’ve suffered a meaningful loss in your life and you have a hard time opening up again because of it.
Hyrule
You root for the underdog, or perhaps you are the underdog. Any of those "against all odds" stories just hit you square in the chest.
Somewhat quiet by nature, you do vital work behind the scenes but you aren't the type to seek out a leadership position. Leave the limelight to somebody else, please.
You might sell yourself short when it comes to your skills and abilities, but you should believe in yourself, man! You can do it!!
You have a capricious streak in you that rears its head now and again. That smile can look sharp and devilish in the right light.
"It's dangerous to go alone!" - You either already have or are destined to find 'that one person' with whom you can open up and truly be yourself.
Twilight
I'm willing to put money on the fact that Twilight Princess was your first Zelda game.
You have a strong sense of justice and get really bent out of shape when you encounter unfairness or flaw in the system, whatever that may be. You might be considered an outsider in some way because of this.
You're the friend who scoops spiders up in a cup and sets them outside. Live and let live.
You were the 'wolf kid' in middle school. Come on, those amazing tie dye shirts? Wolf Woman? Julie of the Wolves?? Even if you kept it inside, it was there in some way.
"Your current power would disgrace the proud green of the hero's tunic you wear." - You put a lot of stock in the opinions of others and hold yourself to a higher standard because of it. Sometimes that standard isn't achievable, though, so try to be kind to yourself.
Sky
You, my friend, have a soft heart. You're generally a happy-go-lucky sort of person. You're likely to make excuses for those who've been mean to you in the past and come out as friends on the other side.
You're crafty, or at the very least good with your hands. You're the type to give someone a handmade gift rather than go buy something for them for their birthday, a holiday, etc.
You have a strong affinity for your friends. If anything bad were to happen to them, you'd turn violent at the drop of a hat.
You may have some level of chronic illness that affects you. Although you might do things in a different way or at your own pace, though, you still come out on top.
"You fight like no man or demon I have ever known." - You have the capability for great things. World-changing sorts of things. Don't give up!
Wild
You're some flavor of neurodivergent, if I had to guess I'd say ADHD. You have 42 tabs open in your brain at any given time and you have no idea which one the music is coming from.
You're an incredibly creative person, although you might have trouble finishing tasks/works-in-progress. Doesn't mean you didn't learn something along the way!
Rigid guidelines or deadlines stress you out. You'd rather be given a goal and decide for yourself when and how to get there. When you do have a deadline, you're a bit of a procrastinator.
Sometimes you don’t get the 'right' way to do things, but you carve your own path--although sometimes it's unorthodox--and get there in your own time.
"Courage need not be remembered, for it is never forgotten." - In spite of how your life changes you, for better or for worse, you have a driving inspiration or ethic or vocation that moves you forward at all costs.
Warriors
Those who don't know you well tend to boil you down to one or two trite traits. In reality, you contain multitudes. Most people couldn't handle all of you, not that they deserve to know even part of you.
You tend to lay it on thick--be that your charm, attitude, or whatever else your social shield might be--because you're hiding some deeper secret or insecurity at your core.
You're the mom friend or the planner in your group, or perhaps you're the oldest child. You’ll pass on an authority role if and when you can, but likely you’re still involved in some supervisory capacity in a given situation.
You kill spiders with fire. Show NO mercy.
"You dare raise the blade of evil's bane to me? So be it. Hyrule's blood will be on your hands." - You have strong convictions and you aren't afraid to take risks, major risks, to do what you know to be right.
Four
Babe, if you ain't short, you've got short person energy. You scare me a little bit tbh.
You were praised for not being a problem child growing up, or for being very responsible at a young age.
You have a vivid imagination! You may have had an imaginary friend as a child or lived in your own little world altogether. I bet your notebook pages were strewn with little doodles in school.
You're a lover of information. If you could choose between an afternoon at the library or a movie matinee, it would be the former.
"Hanging around with you fools is dangerous for my health." - You're the snark friend, aren't you.
Wind
You are extroverted to a fault. You need the company of others to recharge that social battery. The quintessential golden retriever friend.
You had active involvement in the music and theatre department. I'd be surprised if you weren't in at least one show in high school.
Having adventures is where it's at! You're a big fan of travel, either cross-country road trips or international flights. You could happily live out of a suitcase.
You tend to make friends easily wherever you go. If everyone in this classroom/workplace/bar doesn't know your name already, they will pretty quick.
"I have been waiting for you, boy... Do not betray my expectations.” - Against all odds, you've proven yourself to be worthy of great things. Screw what fate has in store! You're the type to take your own destiny by the 'nads.
#stormy talks#what your fav link says about you#that dissertation i mentioned#loz#legend of zelda#ocarina of time#twilight princess#skyward sword#breath of the wild#tears of the kingdom#hyrule warriors#zelda#a link to the past#four swords#minish cap#majora's mask#link's awakening#windwaker#i am definitely forgetting a few
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time for my big lumax rantpost. I used to be way more of a shipper but upon reexamining some of my GA-era assumptions, I'm here to tell you why it sucks, and why I don't look forward to lumax endgame if it's the same lumax we've been getting.
lumax has fantastic potential, but needs lots of work to actually become the ship most of the fandom thinks it is.
I get the sense most on here consider lumax ST's darling perfect ship which is sullied by weak and/or racist writing. while I wouldn't argue at all that the writing does right by Lucas, I do think it's important to recognize lumax as an intentionally-written badly flawed relationship, NOT a poorly-written perfect relationship. (the writing for 5 has a lot to prove so we'll see)
lumax is obviously happening. no ending to Lucas's story makes sense other than him getting the girl. however, I don't like that from either character's standpoint.
from hers - Max is not a prize. and from his - Max is no prize.
Max is a pretty shitty girlfriend.
we've never seen her show Lucas any interest in learning anything about him. I can't remember a time she's complimented him, said anything nice about him, or done anything purely for his benefit. virtually all of their serious conversations have been about her, and the scant few that are sort of about him are inevitably just a lead-in to him offering support to her.
Lucas and Max's relationship - pre, during, and post dating - is 100% about what he can do for her. he's the one making 100% of the effort.
it seems like most of their interactions are him walking on eggshells trying to placate, reassure, or convince her, all for the reward of.... what. being allowed to continue existing near her? like yeah, she's a cool girl, but. that can't be it.
what good is getting the girl if the girl doesn't really offer anything?
. . .
through the seasons, semiquickly:
season 2
Lucas and Dustin both like Max, so they invite her trick or treating, offering to protect her from bullies and show her where the good candy is. in other words, the first Max / Lucas interaction is him offering something to benefit her. Max returns no appreciation or even response to the invite, yet still shows up to reap the benefits.
that pretty much sets the tone.
Max wants to be included, but that's a sensitive subject, so she puts on aloof airs to protect herself. it's an act, but nonetheless it's all Lucas receives.
the facade slips on multiple occasions though; Lucas is permitted to see her vulnerability, and we can see she's actually more desperate to make the connection than he is.
Dustin seeks Steve's manipulation tactics to use on Max, but Lucas wins her over by treating her like an equal and offering her genuine friendship.
he risks both his place in the party and his safety/life to include her, gives his undivided attention when she talks to him, asks questions that show his interest and concern, he reassures, uplifts and compliments her, and physically protects her.
in return, Max. uhh. well she does apologize for being a jerk, although she doesn't exactly stop, lmao. this is one of only two moments I can think of when Max reveals any regard for what Lucas thinks of her.
lumax is off-balance before it even starts, although s2 is when I think that dynamic is most permissible. since Max is a newcomer, Lucas has the advantage in many respects, and it makes sense for him to be the one extending a hand to her.
when Billy attacks Lucas for hanging out with Max, he could be gravely hurt if not for Steve taking the beating instead. Max joins in the momentary group hug but never says a word about this. (I suspect the writers mean for Max's bus apology to have proactively served as a veiled "sorry my stepbro is racist" but more felt needed in that moment.)
then they go to the dance and she kisses him and it's cute and everything is happy for ten whole seconds.
between 2 and 3
even though the summer of '85 is "the good days," this relationship is already careening downhill.
we learn that Max has dumped Lucas five times - such a regular occurrence that he takes it in stride and is well practiced at winning her back as a result.
unfortunately it's Lucas taking to heart the "happy wife happy life" policy from his dad that's set up lumax as something that seems to serve only Max. her awareness of the policy means she holds all the cards.
season 3
Max has secured her place in the party and the relationship, and now it's time for her to bring something to the table, but I honestly can't name one thing. it's still Lucas bending over backwards and Max sometimes being a bit of a jerk. (another act. we'll come back to this)
from the start of 3 we see an excessively secure Max and an obsequious Lucas. she doesn't show him any of the vulnerability that made her endearing in 2. they share fun moments, but we can infer that she doesn't treat him very well in ways that matter.
at one point she even plays mad just to watch him panic. you get the feeling this boy can never feel secure in his relationship. yeah she's just teasing, but do you think Lucas is allowed to tease too?
when El comes to Max for advice, she tells her that "boyfriends lie all the time" and this is before we see Lucas lie to her.
when Mike comes to Lucas for advice, he confidently schools him on how to get back in El's good graces by buying her a present - making clear he's been following his dad's advice all summer long and it's been working:
L: Dad? When Mom's mad at you, how do you make her not mad? C: First, I apologize. Then, I get your mother whatever she wants. L: Even when she's wrong? C: She's never wrong, son.
the mall confrontation is the first time we see Lucas really lie to Max, but even then, the girls don't actually have proof Nana isn't sick.
it's telling, actually, that Lucas's loyalty goes to Mike instead of Max in this moment. in s2 it was the other way around (Lucas pissed off the whole party by including her in the group and telling her the truth - a technically banishable offense). but now he's back to his s1 bros before hoes policy, and not only backs up but expands on Mike's lie. after dating almost a year, his loyalty to Max should be even stronger, but here we see the opposite. if Max had been at least as good a friend to him as Mike, I'm inclined to think he would at least have tried to be noncommittal here.
Max is so confident Lucas will have nothing on his mind but winning her back, as always - meanwhile who we actually see Lucas apologizing to is Will.
she may have had Lucas wrapped around her little finger all summer, but we're seeing that start to uncoil. if Lucas apologizes, it's offscreen.
when Billy tries to break out of the sauna to kill Max, Lucas slingshots him and body shields Max during the fight. next thing you know, Max is back to being cliquey with El in the bathroom (making fun of Mike even though he was the only one who did anything to save El's life?? girl you're being shitty to boyfriends that aren't even yours)
they seem to be a couple again by the end of 3, but the relationship is weakened...
between 3 and 4
..which sets the scene for how the two apparently drift when Max ends it once again. she's not playing this time - she uses the term "break up" instead of "dump" and Lucas has accepted that it's over.
depression makes it hard for Max to connect with him, but the way she treated him in 3 has likely also eaten away at his insistence on prioritizing her. if you push someone away over and over you can't be too surprised if they stay further away each time.
so Max withdraws socially and Lucas apparently doesn't go to his usual lengths to pursue her.
he's still making effort though! the "stalking" comment makes it clear he's been trying to approach her. we know he's been inviting her to his basketball games. him already knowing her favorite song as of 4x4 is more evidence of him taking an interest in her between seasons.
he clearly still cares a lot about Max, but good for him for pursuing his own hobbies and friendships as well.
season 4
Lucas finally asks Max to do something to support him for once (come to his game), but she shuts it down hard.
we know Max still cares about him, but that's just it - WE know. he doesn't. to his face, it's bristling rejection even while he literally begs for the chance to support her.
saving Max's life is a group effort, but Lucas knowing her favorite song is the key that saves her life, and it's only after that that she's friendly towards him again.
the only time I can recall Max expressing any concern for Lucas's wellbeing is when she asks if he's okay in 4x6 - and he only gets a few sentences to process Patrick's death before it's time for him to turn it into an apology to her. sigh.
Lucas is the only one of Max's friends to voice any objection to her suicide mission of a Vecna plan, and pitches for them to gamble a stranger's life instead. he once again risks his life to hang out in the Creel house with Max, personally taking on the huge responsibility of making sure she doesn't die.
Vol 2 Max finally shows Lucas some long-awaited appreciation ("you might have been there" and "I'm glad you're here") which is very nice to see.
I'm conflicted about the movie invite scene, but we'll talk about that later. textually: he asks her out, she accepts, it's totes adorbs.
unfortunately, Max being tranced out by the time Jason walks in means it's time for Lucas once again to get attacked by an older, stronger guy who's wrongly convinced he's a danger to her. (again not her fault, but kinda because of her)
everything goes sideways, Max gets Vecna'd, and Lucas holds her while she dies. we end on a bruised Lucas sitting loyally at Max's bedside, reading to her just in case she can hear it inside her coma.
Lucas hasn't been perfect but he has spent yet another season physically protecting and emotionally supporting Max at great personal expense, and with little appreciation and no support in return.
. . .
the movie doodle didn't fix lumax
Max has had an epiphany, but a change of behavior has scarcely begun. being nice isn't the same as making amends. they've resolved zero of the old issues, plus 4 (even if the plan had worked) has heaped a ton of new shit on both of them.
she's still a grieving, neglected, depressed and passively suicidal child of a triply-broken home. dating doesn't fix that. they already broke up once under the same conditions.
plus Max has new catastrophic emotional traumas, some of which which explicitly exacerbate those very issues. she has catastrophic injuries and disability to cope with (and this is a girl who withdraws under stress normally). with a shred of realism, she's waking up in less a mood for dating than ever.
Lucas has also taken on new traumas, between the basketball team stuff, getting beaten up and almost shot/strangled, and watching Max get Vecna'd and die. he already has a history of guilt about not being there for her enough, so he's going to have a lot more about failing her in that moment (definitely not his fault but he'll still feel bad) and will likely be even more focused on her.
to me, this all sounds like a recipe for the same old dynamic except worse than ever. if they get sleeping beauty'd directly back into lumax, it'll be a disservice to both characters.
. . .
now let's talk about why Max treats Lucas the way she does 🔬
she's not a conniving bitch, she's just a scared kid from a toxic home. that doesn't excuse her behavior but it does make it understandable.
Max CAN be a great friend. she's just not to Lucas.
Max absolutely showers El with the good qualities she'll barely show Lucas. in fact I could loosely say Max is to El what Lucas is to Max.
Max is suspicious and disparaging towards Lucas, even while trusting that he can be counted upon to grovel. meanwhile El never apologizes for intentionally hurting Max both physically and emotionally, yet the moment El acknowledges her (only because she wants help), Max is instantly forgiving, kind, gentle, caring, generous and supportive towards her.
she throws her loyalty behind a friend of 1 afternoon over her boyfriend of a year who's been the only person in Hawkins to show her any true kindness and emotional connection.
if Max was half the friend to Lucas that she is to El, she'd be a decent girlfriend. why isn't she?
we can name a few reasons why Max IS so nice to El, but why she ISN'T to Lucas is a separate question. kindness isn't zero-sum.
she told us why. boyfriends lie.
and it's ANY boyfriend, not just hers. Nana's sick? more like Mike's a lying piece of shit! Suzie from camp? fake! Dustin's obviously lying! the only one of the boys Max has never accused of lying is Will - the only one who's been single the whole time.
just. the state of being a boyfriend (or even just liking a girl is close enough), makes any boy automatically a liar.
Max believes "friend" and "boyfriend" are mutually exclusive
"Friends don't lie!" "Yeah, well, boyfriends lie all the time." <- it's all right there.
back in 2 when Lucas was her friend, she was more open and trusting. she gave him the benefit of the doubt that monsters were real and he knew a girl with magic powers. starting to date flipped the switch, and now she doesn't trust him about mundane stuff.
now they're not friends, they're boyfriend/girlfriend, and she expects to be treated in a whole different way, including all the baggage that comes with romantic relationships in her mind.
what baggage?
Max's childhood is full of examples of awful, manipulative men and abusive, broken relationships.
her dad: I'd only be speculating about why her parents' marriage failed, but in 2 Max misses California because her dad is still there, then by 4 acts like it's doubtful he can even be tracked down for delivery of what's basically her suicide letter. it's clear she desired a relationship with her dad but was abandoned. Neil: abusive asshole who rules the household with an iron fist. I'd be shocked if he hasn't abused Susan, and see little reason he wouldn't do it in front of Max (after all, we see him verbally and physically abuse his first wife in front of his son, in a bad fight over suspected lies/infidelity). in his grief over Billy, Neil and Susan have "bad fights" and he leaves the family. he's not missed, but it's still a second abandonment by a father figure. Billy: Max's peer example of guys in relationships: a sleazy, two-faced asshole who treats girls like trash and completely changes his persona to manipulate them for sex or whatever else he wants (Max appears to be all too aware of his sex life and is disgusted). abandonment issues with him too: a good relationship with a big brother would've meant the world to her, but he rejected and probably abused her for years; her letter at his grave reads "ever since you left" - same word she used for Neil.
Max desperately hopes Lucas is an exception to the rule, but these are the behaviors she would naturally fear from any guy she dates.
Max is especially terrified of being abandoned (and that she deserves it)
to be abandoned over and over can naturally leave a kid wondering if it's their fault, if this is the treatment they deserve.
Lucas is overall quite honest, and there's not an abusive bone in his body. the most realistic one of Max's fears to apply to him is that someday he'll leave her, too.
and that's the worst fear Vecna chooses to voice in Lucas's form: realizing he's been wrong about her, that she's fundamentally bad and he's glad she's going to be killed. a gutting abandonment from the guy she most wants to trust.
Vecna-Susan also tells Max that she deserves what's going to happen to her, that she's "broken everything" and that her letters can't make things right. because he's in full Vecna mode when he says it, I just took those as very general condemnations at first. but they hurt even worse when I remember they're still coming from "Susan" - revealing that Max feels she has broken her family.
she wanted Billy to die, and she figures Neil left because Billy died, so that's two of the abandonments being "her fault". if that's true, Max would also feel responsible for destroying her mom's life - having cost her her marriage, home, and financial security.
in her addictions Susans has, in an emotional sense, abandoned Max just like all her other family members - and Max fears she deserves it. how desperate she was for this hug... :(
anyway, back to lumax: let's reexamine those s3 dumpings
what exactly did Lucas even do? we never find out.
on first watch, I took "boyfriends lie" at face value and assumed Lucas got caught fibbing. but that doesn't fit so well.
he's maybe the party member most invested in "friends don't lie". honesty to his friends is a pillar of his character. again, he caused friction in 2 because he so strongly prioritized honesty to Max. to assume based on one line from an unreliable narrator that he randomly became a huge liar over the summer is unfair.
via their counseling of Mike and El, Lucas and Max tell us what's been going on with lumax
Max tells El:
He'll come crawling back to you in no time, begging for forgiveness. I guarantee him and Lucas are totally wallowing in self-pity and misery right now like "ohh, I hope they take us back!"
I think we all clocked that one: Max thinks that because El followed her technique, Mike will come crawling back - because Lucas has come crawling back to her several times now.
but I haven't seen much discussion about how the spying scene (which "he'll come crawling back" is paired with) shows Lucas assuring Mike that he's been dumped for an unfair and illogical reason because that's what Max has done to him several times now.
M: I just don't understand what I did to deserve this. L: Nothing. Nothing. That's my whole point. You are the victim here. Stop asking rational questions. M: I know, I know, you're right. Because women act on emotion and not logic. L: Precisely. It's a totally different species.
Max is pissed. but has she been irrational, acting on emotion and not logic, and dumping him for no apparent reason all summer? signs point to yes.
and I understand Lucas saying this. it's not pure misogyny out of nowhere; he's been told that his mother expects gifts and apologies even when wrong, Max acts that way too, and now so apparently does El. all of his examples concur that this is just how women in relationships are. (Charles Sinclair how many relationships will your advice destroy lmao)
both Max and Lucas are bringing preconceptions from home.
Max acts this way on purpose
I don't think she's dumped him over truly nothing (although that's how it looks to him). I'm thinking she blows real, minor missteps out of proportion.
any time Lucas does something slightly insensitive, it looks like the first red flag to her, and instead of communicating in a constructive way, she just throws up this "boys aint shit" force field and dumps him. of course she doesn't truly want to be rid of him, she's just sorta snapping the leash.
I think Max knows what she's doing. I think she wants to keep Lucas always on his back foot, because the relationship isn't as scary if she feels like she holds all the power.
she's always trying to cover up fear/sorrow with anger, because anger gives an illusion of control. and she's been conscious of that anger, and the fact that it's unfair to Lucas, since the beginning - that's what she apologized for on the bus. "I guess I'm angry too, and I'm sorry."
she was mature enough at 13 to see the error in her behavior, but still not mature enough by 15 to fix it. every season has just been a slightly different flavor of "leave before you get left".
so, that's my take on Max's relationship behavior. but again, explanations aren't excuses. Lucas deserves to be treated well, and that's not happening.
what needs to happen?
simply maturing more will help them both a lot. being 15 is a terrible condition in of itself.
I don't see Lucas dumping Max's ass, but she should take her own advice before the relationship continues: explain herself and fix the garbage parts of her behavior.
before Max can be the girlfriend Lucas deserves, she needs a substantial period of physical and emotional healing.
she needs renewed connections with her friends and family, and a lot of general growth in the area of communication and processing her feelings.
in regards to Lucas, she needs to work on her trust issues, and learn to extend him the treatment warranted by his behavior, not the behavior she fears from others. she needs to learn that "friend" and "girlfriend" aren't mutually exclusive, that real friendship is the key to their relationship, and is a two-way street.
any Billy racism/assault acknowledgement would be better years late than never, especially if grieving Billy continues to be a focus in front of Lucas.
Lucas could also use a little work
the relentless positivity doesn't serve Max well. often it turns out to be empty reassurances which make her feel let down (so, a soft version of the lies she fears). she let him know in 4x4 that this hurts her, but he kept doing it for the rest of the season.
but the big one is that "happy wife happy life" doesn't serve him well, and rewarding unfair treatment perpetuates the problem. yes, the ability to compromise, swallow pride, and be the bigger person are healthy parts of a relationship, as well as the willingness to extend grace to your partner/friend when they're struggling. but it always being on one designated person is a recipe for dissatisfaction and resentment.
Lucas should voice to Max that he, too, has struggles and needs support. I'd like to see him pursue outside interests unapologetically.
no, this isn't an exhaustive list, and I don't expect to see everything fixed at once, or explicitly processed onscreen. but I sure hope we get some evidence of change, and that this has all been part of an arc.
for instance, I'd love for the final lumax reconciliation to be Max asking Lucas to take her back.
I kind of hope not to see them officially together until the very end. in fact I'd so much rather see ST end on a good Max / Lucas friendship with an implied romantic future than jump back to the status quo.
l don't want to see lumax until it's a new lumax, based on real, reciprocal friendship.
#even with the length I rambled this is still oversimplified and left out stuff re: both. but. just to get the conversation started.#you don't want elm*x because lucas. I don't want lumax because lucas. we are not the same#I think people fawn over lumax because they're kind of a milkvan foil and therefore must be perfect?#lowkey seeing lucas date someone else for a bit would straighten 4 max out. girlie careful acting like you're the only fish in the sea <3#the more I think about it the more I'd like lumax to completely break up and live in different towns and then try again as adults#if the max waking up scene has a kiss in it I'm turning off the tv#lucas sinclair#max mayfield#lumax#givehimthemedicine analysis
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once more defending my love, book!elphaba thropp
reading reviews of wicked and im seeing people say they hate book elphaba because she's "unlikable"
so many people love the feel good vibes of the musical while not seeing that they sound exactly like people who would have shunned elphaba at shiz for not being pleasant enough and making them feel unsettled instead of putting them at ease
I'm saying this because I find that people are often much more charitable towards fictional characters than real people -- and people IRL who have Elphaba's severe, unwavering personality and unwillingness to conform often face the same social stigma she did, no green skin required. Like yes, Elphaba was an outcast because she had green skin, but I don't think the green skin is the point of the novel. I think her being green is a visual manifestation of being so at odds with what you're "supposed" to be that people demonize you for it. Book Elphaba is queer and hinted to be intersex. I read her as neurodivergent, so this all tracks to me, and considering that other forms of oppression and stigmatization are very important themes in the narrative, I think the green-ness simply emphasizes to the other ways in which she's marginalized.
Trying not to go into the Wicked rant that I tend to do every few months but I feel it coming on
I'm all here for critiques of the novel, because it certainly has flaws, and I understand why people don't enjoy it -- but there is something funny to me about people wanting a narrative about looking beneath the surface to find true value but hating the version of that story that requires the most compassion to appreciate. Like the musical is fun and well-made but it does not require any effort to like musical Elphaba because she's conventionally attractive woman who's feisty and kinda quirky...oh and she's also green. And her being green matters more to the other characters than to us. We don't care that she's green (because we already know it would be wrong to judge her based on that) and the musical gives us no other reasons to judge her, so we don't really have to process any complex emotions.
(Sidenote, I think if book Elphaba were still green but more conventionally attractive, bubbly, and less political, she would not have been as much of an outcast -- at least not in her later adolescence. Her green-ness could have been a novelty or spectacle that she used to her advantage if she made up for it by being more palatable in other ways. Of course, she would never do this, because that's simply not Elphaba. She could never twist herself to be anything other than who she is, even out of social self-preservation.)
Book Elphaba is so much more prickly and unpleasant --and hell, so was I at the height of my social ineptitude and feeling like there was something so so wrong with me (because why for the love of God couldn't I just fit in and act the way the cool kids my age did).
Her unpleasantness and seriousness and insistence on talking about important things that make people uncomfortable are her green-ness imo. Those are the things that affect how we as the reader experience her, and we must experience her strangeness as well.
And while I understand that if the moral of the story is essentially "don't judge a book by its cover" then yes, you can tell a thematically sound story about a girl who is actually pretty cool but just happens to be green and talk about how she's ostracized simply because she looks different. That's a perfectly fine story -- but I think it can go much further -- because it's not only wrong to marginalize people who look different, it's also wrong to marginalize those who are internally different. Difference is persecuted whether its visual or behavioural.
Even if Elphaba weren't green, there are inherent aspects of who she is that prevent her from conforming to the ideal, both in her world and ours. And I think valuing her with all of those things in mind is a lot more rewarding than simply liking her despite the fact that she's green.
Anyway I love Elphaba Thropp and I don't think her being more palatable would have made the story better — it simply would have made it more popular, and I think on that at least, fans of both the book and musical should be able to agree is not an inherently better thing.
...
OK one last point, I saw someone saw they prefer the musical because it has more "girl power" meanwhile the book feels "obviously written by a man" and I just...dear god what a surface level take
Yes Gregory Maguire is a man (oh, the horror!), but he wrote the women in Wicked as people, without hand wringing about if they're likeable or pleasant enough. They are flawed and raw and not just there to make the audience feel warm and fuzzy. He writes about sexuality without making women feel like sexual objects -- I suspect because he also writes about the sexuality of his male characters (the women aren't just in the story to turn us on) and he himself is gay, so there may be less male-gaze going on than with a lot of men who write fantasy. Yes, characters are described in sexual ways, but this happens regardless of gender.
#elphaba thropp#elphaba#wicked#wicked novel#wicked book#gregory maguire#long post#the wicked years#book elphaba they could never make me hate you#i love you so much#nessarose too#nessarose is so goddamn unlikable and i will never not love her
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Hey!! i love your writing, feel free to ignore, but i just wanted to request homelander x reader where he introduces the reader to ryan or how the three of them spend time together, something like that
thank you!!
OF COURSE, I love the idea! Maybe I'll do a part.2 with all the headcanons about how they spent time together! Thanks for the request dear anon! :)
Pretty golden cage;
Pairing: Homelander x fem!super (Ophera as usual) TW: no one, just bit of tension/angst and Homie being an asshole Timeline: season 4 Words count: 3,6k
You always knew who Ryan was. Homelander's beloved son. Rumors about him were whispered by everyone at Vought Tower, and you had been paying attention over the years. You knew about his powers, about the unfortunate way he came into the world, and how attached Homelander was to him.
You already had your problems, you didn't mean to get close to that too. You never judged Ryan for his choices or his actions, quite the opposite. You felt quite sorry for him.
Trapped in a golden cage, with the suffocating attentions of his father, who continued to demand only perfection from and for him. It happened to you too, at the beginning of your relationship with Homelander. In which you are still trapped with no way out.
You had wondered why he still hadn't insisted on you being Ryan's mother. But that was okay, you didn't want it. Until the day arrived, the day of your official introduction to each others.
"Ryan, theres someone I want you to meet. This is Ophera.''
Ryan glances at you with a mixture of curiosity and uncertainty, his eyes tracing the features of your incredibly beautiful face. Made for the spotlight. He's clearly intrigued by your appearance, but also a little intimidated by it.
"H-hi, Ophera."
You can feel the weight of Ryan's gaze on you, and you can sense his nervousness at finally meeting you. The situation definitely feels a bit bizarre, considering your complicated relationship with his father. You glance briefly at Homelander, unsure of how to approach this interaction.
He stands aside, watching you and his son, with a hint of trepidation. He seems just as uncertain about how you two will interact. He silently observes your reaction and lets you respond to him.
You can't deny it to yourself, one misstep with the little boy and everything is over for you. But you've never been good with children, and you know her father's expectations are very high. He will not admit any mistakes or flaws.
Trying to break the ice, Ryan smiles at you, even though is a slightly wobbly smile, and asks a question.
"So, you're... the singer, right? I saw you on tv. And my dad speak a lot about you and your music."
His words surprise you a little. You're not used to hearing Homelander talking about you, at least positively. You try to find the right words to respond to his comment with a gentle smile.
"Yes, It's me. And I am surprised that your father talks about me to you. Did he say something nice?" you can't help but wonder what else he's told him.
"Yeah. He said your singing voice is really beautiful and that you have a lot of fans. He also said you can control some kinds of metal and you're really strong. He's lucky to have a woman like you to his side."
''Oh, uhm, yeah-- yes...he's right.''
The situation becomes more and more weird for you, you don't know what the point of the situation is, or because Homelander wanted you to meet Ryan. Out of courtesy or for some other strange reason?
As the conversation continues, you can't shake off the feeling that there's a deeper meaning behind this meeting. Homelander's intentions are unclear and there's definitely something else behind this introduction. He seems to be carefully watching your every interaction with his son, analyzing your reactions and responses.
Ryan seems to be more at ease now, and his nervousness begins to fade away while he walk with you around the room and making you sit beside him on the sofa. But there is still silence between you, you don't know what to talk about.
You take a deep breath and decide that you have to improvise, you lean towards the boy and pretend to whisper something to him, in an gentle and funny way.
''I know it's hard for you too, I understand, it's embarrassing to have to interact like this...but let's say something, anything, so your dad will be happy and he let's us go back to our business.''
Ryan looks at you with a mixture of curiosity and relief. He seems a bit surprised by your casual and friendly approach, but he clearly appreciates it. He lowers his voice too and responds in a whisper.
"Yeah, it's a bit weird. My dad's been talking about you a lot, but I didn't know what to say or what to ask you…"
Homelander, noticing Ryan's relaxed expression and your attempt to break the ice, finally decides to join the conversation. His voice is light, friendly sarcastic.
"I can't believe you're talking about me behind my back.'' he says with a hint of faux-offended tone in his voice. He walks over to where you and his son are sitting, takes a seat on the armchair opposite the sofa.
''Come on, you can ask her whatever you want, she don't bite.''
"Okay, then...um..."
He takes a moment, clearly thinking of a question to ask. He glances at you, then back at his father. It's evident that he's not sure what kind of question will please his dad.
Seeing how Ryan is in difficulty, you decide to take the reins of the situation.
''Listen, Homelander. I really appreciate you wanting me to meet your son...it's really cute from you. And he seems a good little boy. But I don't understand what's happening and why I am here today.''
"Ah, always to the point, aren't you?" he replies, a note of sarcasm in his voice.
"I just want to introduce my son to the woman I care about."
You don't believe his sweet words, you know he only does it to appear like a good person in front of his son. But you can't expose him, you don't want to, you're just trying to understand what's your role is in this show.
Homelander notices the skepticism on your face, but he remains cool and composed.
"Oh, come on! Can't I be a loving father who wants his son to meet the woman he's dating?"
The word "dating" stings you as soon as it crosses his lips. It's not true, you're not actually dating, not in the traditional understanding of the term. Ryan looks between you and his father, a bit perplexed by the interaction. The boy's clearly not used to this dynamic.
Any other woman would have acted differently, she would have thrown herself into cuddling and giving affecction to the boy without hesitation. Even just for fear of not pleasing his father. But you don't have this instinct. The maternal instinct has never belonged to you. And now you feel the weight of it, you really want to help Ryan get out from this situation, but you are in difficult too. And all your stage audacity seems to vanish in front of a child.
''Sure, sure you can...I wonder why you didn't introduce us sooner.''
Homelander gives a little laugh, enjoying your sarcastic response.
"Who knows..." he replies nonchalant. "I guess I just wanted to wait for the right moment. But now, here we are. And I think Ryan already likes you."
Ryan, who has been quietly following the conversation, nods in agreement. He doesn't seem entirely convinced or comfortable in the situation, his eyes are searching for yours. Subconsciously hoping that you can show more humanity than all the other supers he's met so far.
"Yeah, you're... cool. I listened to your song, I like them."
''Oh, and what's your favourite?---'' you are about to answer to him, finally with a normal kind of conversation, but you are interrupted.
"See? Looks like you've got a new fan!" Homelander gets up from the armchair, walking over to stand behind you on the sofa. His hand rests possessively on your shoulder.
"Isn't she great?" he asks, looking down at you with a hint of malice in his eyes. "She's smart, talented, and beautiful. The perfect woman."
Ryan nods again, trying to look enthusiastic, but something in his expression seems forced.
You can't tolerate this, you sense Ryan's anxiety constantly. You and him are trapped in the same cage. Then you then turn to Homelander and give him a seemingly kind smile, trying to you try to change the subject. You're going to put up with it for the little boy's sake.
''Seems pretty clear that I've been approved.''
Homelander grins, satisfied with your response. He gives your shoulder a light, almost condescending little pat.
"Oh, definitely approved." he says, the possessive hint in his tone still there. "He's a smart kid, he knows a good person when he sees one."
Ryan looks at you from across the room, trying to gauge your reaction. He can sense that you're trying to make things better, but the atmosphere in the room is still a bit awkward.
"Buddy, why don't you ask her to sing a little something for us?" Homelander ask, clearly intending not to let the moment end.
The little one looks surprised by the imprompt request. He glances briefly at you, clearly hesitant about the idea. Seeing his discomfort, you give him a reassuring look, as if to tell that you can handle it. At least that would have been a good moment.
''I don't know dad, maybe she doesn't want to, maybe she's tired...''
''Nah. It's just a little song, it won't hurt her, will it?" Homelander's expression hardens slightly, his tone becoming sarcastic.
"Um…can you sing something for us…please?"
''What's your favourite song of mine Ryan? I'd love to sing for you.'' you gently said to Ryan, leaning in his direction. Trying your best to create a serene moment out of this tense situation. He seems grateful for your attempt to divert the situation from his father's command to sing.
"I like your cover of I Can't Help Falling in Love. Could you sing that?''
You nod slightly, smiling gently at Ryan. ''Great choice.''
You take a moment to gather your thoughts, and then start to hum to warm up a little. Then, taking a deep breath, you begin to sing the opening notes, your eyes closing for a moment as you surrender to the music.
''Wise men say only fools rush in. But I can't help falling in love with you. Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?''
As you begin to sing, both find themselves mesmerized by your voice. Even Homelander, who has heard you countless times before, is once again taken aback by the power and emotion you infuse in your voice. Ryan, seems to forget the situation he's in and the tension in the air. He leans slightly forward, his eyes wide open, listening to your voice filling the room.
''Darling, so it goes. Some things are meant to be. Take my hand, take my whole life, too. For I can't help falling in love with you.''
The lyrics of the song seem to echo even more in that room. You're not just singing, you're communicating in the best way you know.
The last few notes of your singing trail off in the air, as the room falls into a moment of reverent silence. Your eyes open, and you look at Ryan, who seems completely enraptured by your voice.
''Wo-hoow! Your voice live is a thousand times more beautiful than on TV.'' the boy lets out a spontaneous and sincere comment, and you find yourself laughing softly, sincerely, this time.
''You're too cute little one, I'm happy you appreciate my version of this song.''
''It's awesome, you're awesome! I'd like to see you live one day, the whole show!''
''Whenever you want kid, I'll get you a VIP pass to have the best seat in the whole stadium.''
''Really?? You're not joking right?''
''Dinner with the celebrity and Meet and Greet included.'' you can't help but gently indulge him, his spontaneity and his desire to escape from routine.
Ryan's eyes light up at the proposition and he felt comfortable continuing the conversation with a genuinely happy expression on his face. It's obvious that this little exchange between you two has lifted his spirits.
Homelander, on the other hand, seems a little taken aback by the interaction. He's not used to see you so... genuine and soft with someone. He claps his hands, disrupting the moment of calm. As if needing to regain some control.
''What a lovely bonding time we had here. You are making me really happy.''
You feel slightly irritated by his sudden interruption. You are still smiling, but now it's a little forced. Your eyes dart towards him, and your expression seems to say "Really? Just when something good was happening, you have to ruin it?"
Nevertheless, your years of experience with the Vought Company and your work as a celebrity have taught you the art of masking your true feelings. So, you don't let your annoyance shine through too much, at least not in front of Ryan.
Homelander, noticing the change in your expression, seems to realize that he might have intervened at the wrong time. He didn't really mean to interrupt the bonding moment between you and Ryan, but rather, he felt a little left out.
As if he wanted to say: "Hey, look at me. I want to be part of this, too."
His sudden intervention seems to be driven more by a need to be acknowledged and included than by a desire to intentionally ruin the situation. Despite the fact that you've been with him for years, and you know he's a narcissistic asshole, the current moment seems to reveal a slightly different aspect of him.
As you notice the hint of vulnerability in Homelander's eyes, your irritation slightly lessens. You know him too well, and you can tell when he's faking his usual arrogant confidence and when he genuinely feels left out.
It's almost comical how someone as powerful and imposing as him can feel left out.
You're trying to maintain your composure, to keep your guard up, but a part of you can't help but find him a bit... cute, in this moment of uncharacteristic vulnerability.
''Don't worry big boy, I have a VIP pass for you too.'' you say laughing, looking at Ryan, as If you're seeking his support after making a little joke at his father.
Ryan can't help but chuckle at your little comment. He looks up at his father, clearly amused to see him taken aback by your joke. Homelander glares at you for a moment, pretending to be annoyed, but there's a twinkle in his eye, as if he secretly enjoys the little banter.
"Yeah, right, very funny... I guess I'll need that front row seat. Like I need your permission to have one.''
''Ooh, someone's getting defensive now, are we?'' you tease.
Ryan laughs even more, enjoying this whole situation. You can tell that the boy has been craving for some lighthearted moments, considering what he's gone through.
"Well, to be fair, it's good to have options, right dad? You can't always rely on your superpowers to grab the best seat."
You and Ryan share a knowing glance, a silent alliance between you.
"Oh, shut it, you two. I'm the one taking care of the both of you, you should be grateful." he says, his tone carrying no real threat.
Slowly the atmosphere becomes pleasant for all three, and so you spend an hour together. The conversation gradually shifts from teasing banter to more casual topics. Homelander eventually starts to relax a bit, his typical guard lowering. Ryan seems to genuinely enjoy the time spent with both of you, and the boy's innocent and endearing presence helps to ease the tension that sometimes exists between you and Homelander.
As the sun begins to set and the shadows grow longer, the day starts to wind down. The room is bathed in the soft, golden light of the evening, creating a cozy atmosphere.
As the evening progresses, you slowly start to realize that you're actually enjoying yourself. Spending time with Ryan, feels strangely...comfortable. Your initial plan of tolerating a child just for Homelander's sake is slowly replaced by the realization that this kid is not so bad after all. You find yourself smiling easily, genuinely enjoying the little exchanges.
The realization is a bit unsettling to you. It's not that you're used to seeing yourself as a particularly warm and compassionate person. You can't help but question your own prejudices and assumptions about yourself. Perhaps, beneath the hardened persona that you've built up over the years, there's a softer side to you that you forgot.
As the last rays of sunlight disappear and the night sky takes over.
''Ryan, you should get some rest. It's late."
''What? Why now? I was showing Ophera my movie collections!'' the boy protests, making you laugh.
''No arguing. Come on, bedtime." Homelander's tone is firm but gentle, and you see Ryan clearly not happy to have to end the fun.
''I'm not a child dad, I mean, I can stay awake more...''
You approach him and put a hand on his back with kindness, then you try to convince him with a more delicate but still original approach.
''Hey Ryan, listen to me, I suppose we're way past your bedtime. And pretty boy need rest to stay pretty. You don't want to wake up tomorrow with dark circles under your eyes, do you?''
"I guess you're right... I don't want to look like a zombie tomorrow." he end the argument with a little joke.
You chuckle with a hint of satisfaction at Ryan's response. Seeing how the boy accepted your words, makes you glad that you didn't have to rely on Homelander's authoritative approach to get him to comply.
''Very well. Now, go and get some beauty sleep.''
He took all of his stuff and then he wave a cute goodbye to you and Homelander before heading off to his room. As the sound of his footsteps slowly fades away, there's a moment of silence between you two.
Time for the showdown.
"Well, isn't this touching. My two favorite people… getting along so well."
You turn to face Homelander, raising an eyebrow at his comment and becoming serious again, like everytimes he try and succeed to manipulate you.
"I'm not doing this for you.''
"Is that so? Funny, I thought you hated children. Yet here you are… playing the role of a loving mother.” he teases.
The moment the word mother leaves his mouth, you can't help but visibly tense up. Your eyes narrow and your jaw clenches, a mix of anger and discomfort showing on your face. Being referred to as a “mother” triggers a deep-seated anxiety within you, stirring up memories and fears that you've worked hard to suppress. The word carries a weight that you don’t want to associate with yourself.
You take a deep breath, trying your best to conceal the inner turmoil that his words have stirred up. It's ironic that he should use that word, given the fact that you, in your mind, you’ve never seen yourself as a motherly type. It feels like a cruel mockery, a reminder of something that you have never been taught and that sadly you will never be able to understand.
''Don't you dare. I know your plan, and no, I'm not going to play the role of a mother for him. Being your partner causes me enough stress.''
He sees the reaction that the word mother elicits from you and he smirks, realizing that he has found a vulnerable spot.
"Don't be so tensed, sweetheart..." he steps closer to you, a hint of mischief in his eyes, enjoying the fact that he's managed to get under your skin.
"You know, Ryan needs a mother figure in his life. Someone who can guide him, care for him. You could be that person. I know you're capable of it, deep down.”
"Oh, spare me the sentimental crap." you snap, your voice filled with irritation and defiance. You know he's trying to manipulate you, to make you feel guilty for not wanting to be what the little boy needs.
"Don't you dare assume you know what I'm capable of. I have my own duties and responsibilities. Being a motherly figure for your kid wasn't part of the deal..."
"You may deny it, but I can see the way you interacted with the boy. You connected with him, in your own unique way. And it would be really cruel from you to deprive him of a mother's love right now that he's bonding with you.''
He's trying to make you feel guilty, and oh God, he's succeeding.
His words touch a nerve, making you inwardly squirm, of anger and guilt inside you. You know he's trying to play on your emotions and make you feel responsible for depriving Ryan of something he needs.
"Besides, think about it as an opportunity," Homelander continues his manipulation, moving even closer to you, his voice becoming softer, his eyes meeting yours.
"The perfect family picture, you and me and Ryan.''
The thought of having a "perfect family picture'' with Homelander and Ryan both disgusts you and scares you, yet a small part of you secretly yearns for the sense of belonging and family that's been missing in your life.
''No, I can't...absolutely not.''
''I know you can be that for him. I saw it with my own eyes. And you're going to be. Or else..." there's a sinister undertone in his chuckle.
''Or else what?'' you answer, facing him, feeling trapped again, without any free will.
''Oh, sweetheart, you don't wanna find out.'' he concluded, slowly crawling with his hand gripping lightly your throat, forcing you to look up at him.
Reminding you once again, that you're the celebrity, but he's the one who directs every show, every chapter of your life.
-------
Thanks again for the request, it was really good to write, hope you like it! Kisses <3
#the boys#homelander#homelander x oc#homelander fanfiction#homelander x reader#homelander x fem!reader#homelander x you#homelander x y/n#the boys fanfic#the boys series#the boys oc#anon request#ask box#my post#superhero oc
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Takami Keigo: 5 Red flags vs 5 Green flags
Characters: Takami Keigo (Hawks).
Mi first lenguage is not English btw
Part 2 with Bakugo?
First of all, a relationship with Keigo can go very well or very badly. His life requires a very specific type of person, although he is not one to judge people and prefers to be optimistic when it comes to anything, it must be admitted that a person who is a little more "egoistic" could not stand the schedules, the dangers and harms that come with the hero's work.
In any case, if you are a person who, although you have flaws that might seem out of place with the style of life that has been imposed on Keigo, but you are still a person who is willing to do better, fight and resist for the relationship, believe me that the he will put the same as you and more.
Probably at the beginning there will be many problems, Keigo is not a man used to his life not being just for him, and perhaps you are not used to living with someone like him, but part of a relationship is learning, step by step and with a lot of time, love can change things if you use it well.
Of course, like any person, he has his good things and bad things.
🟥 Red Flags:
• At first he's a very independent and close person: Being independent can be a very good thing and a good sign, but when it comes to Keigo, it is not the same. His independence is too big to be considered a good thing, he has grown up and lived his entire life believing that he is the one against the world and only he has the right to know what is going through his mind, so it wouldn't be the kind of boyfriend who is asking your approval or telling you about his day. But he knows that that is not right, so I firmly believe that he would correct it to the point of telling you his problems.
• He's sarcastic: Come on guys, you could see this coming from the second this hero appeared on the screen and started making the most annoyed faces a face can make. It's not like he does it in a bad way often, but when arguments start he would get on your nerves with his sarcastic comments, probably minimizing the problems or making you look wrong, even stupid in the worst cases.
• You are the priority, but if people need him, he will leave: This is a very extensive topic and contains many reasons. You are the most important thing in his life, if you leave he would be totally devastated and depressed than anyone else could be, but he simply cannot reject the call, if his phone vibrates and they tell him that they need him he will already be acting the hero suit. It's not that he wants to leave you, it's that he can't stay, it's that he has been educated to always leave.
• He is jealous: Normally it is not something that bothers you, it can even be something that the two of you later make fun of in private, but there are some times that if he seems to be intense about it, he is not attracted to the idea of you leave, that you change him or that you abandon him, so although he always tries to keep himself in line, there are few cases in which he goes too far, when he marks someone as his rival he will forever be "the disgusting guy who wants with you", and he could say offensive things about him, start fights so that you stay away from him and even demonstrate his jealousy without any type of shame.
• "Is not that deep": I don't know why, but I'm very sure that Keigo would say this MANY times, like you may have told him that it's something that bothers you, or something that hurt you, or you're just telling him a story, and he responds with the damn "is not that deep." Partly it's because like I said before he won't tell you something just because it happened to him, so he doesn't understand why you're open about it.
OKAY BUT, he has hes beautiful Green Flags and all that, SO let's goOoOooOOoOOOoo
🟩 Green Flags
• He drives you to achieve and fulfill your own goals: He would be a man who not only asks, he also offers, he would never ask you to support him in his goal of a better and more relaxed world for those who are heroes without first supporting you in any goal that you have worn. You need money? He can give it to you, do you need to improve yourself? Ok, here he is to support you, do you just feel tired of trying? Well he will give you a reason to do it again.
• "Let's see each other even if it's just for 5 minutes?": He leads a busy life but he takes you into account in every second of it, it's true that it's hard for him to tell you about it, it's hard for him to open up, but he loves seeing you, even if he doesn't express it correctly, he loves to be there for you even though he may not tell you that he thinks about it, he loves to give you time even if it means more fatigue for his body.
• Stop having attitudes that make you feel bad: Did you read all the previous red flags? WELL HAWKS TROLL YOU BECAUSE HE CHANGE WHAT YOU ASK HIM TO DO, GIRL!!!! He would make an effort because he doesn't take it lightly, it is difficult and takes a lot of time, but he keeps trying.
• "I saw this and I remembered you": I repeat, Keigo takes you into account every second, even if at first he can't express it correctly. But he is a bird, he will bring you any stuffed animal, bracelet, candy, necklace, clothing or toy that he finds in a store and has a detail as beautiful as you.
• Hella touchy: Bro, if you don't consider this a good thing I'm really sorry but what the hell are you doing reading something about Takami Keigo, Get the fuck out of here! He will never have one hand far from you in moments of rest and time as a couple. A simple hand on your thigh while the two of you are eating or while he is finishing work papers, a few light cuddles on your hair while he is falling asleep, a hand on your cheek before kissing you, a hand on your waist to hug you, and if i keep going, I don't finish the list.
#keigo takami x reader#x reader#hawks x reader#hawks angst#mha hawks#hawks headcanons#bnha hawks#hawks fluff#hawks x reader fluff#keigo x reader#keigo fluff#keigo angst#mha
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Hi hello, just find out your blog IM SO NOT WELL ABOUT IT'S IT'S SOOOOO GOOD. Love the artstyle, love the story, love how ghoulish it is!
That being said, little theory time.
Oh Honeyspirng, Love, I might not know what killed you, but it seems like you are so so deep under the soil. You are the dirty little secret, a curse, a literal skeleton in the non-existent closet. You and your missing kittens, taken away from you (by the order of your love [the deputy, Frail was the name?] who hoped they were alive), so you rot somewhere beneath the dirt. You are alone, with no warmth to call your own. They buried you with no proper care, tossed aside, without zero concern of you. So StarClan won't claim you, they cannot. So you linger a constant reminder of the terrible negligence the clan put you though, don't you.
From Pretty words to simple words, I just found this blog and i am pretty darn sure that Honeyspirng can't know peace and hunts the clan cuz they fuged the burial. No respect to the dead as in desecration of the dead in hope to safe kittens who would never be born but also no proper grave to call thier own made them this way. Perhaps they were stuffed into a burrow? That would explain the first bit with "can't breath". StarClan nor DarkForest can claim them, so she lingers. Looking for her kits and hoping for connection they loved so so much in life.
And why would they do that? Well my only bet is on a little bit of prevention, Honeyspirng was sick so a quick burial would be safer - the sickness would not spread, and a little bit of superstition - Honeyspirng's kits weren't looking like regular kittens so the clan might have took it as a bad omen, and not burring them properly would be an act to try and shield the clan of any negative consecration the kits and Honey could bring after death, which frankly resulted in them being hunted. Which could be considered a great mistake, error in judgement that lead them here👀
-🐰
Oooh! I love reading theories like this! It makes me happy to know that people find my little story interesting enough to theorize, and I love seeing people's different ideas! I especially love your word choice!
That being said, you're certainly on the right track. A LOT of things were fudged regarding Honeyspring's everything, and it's certainly going to come back to bite.
In life, Honeyspring was responsible for expanding the burrows, and when she passed, the clan buried her in a burrow she was working on before she became so gravely ill; it was supposed to be a nursery. The kits did not come out of Honeyspring's womb dead, but they didn't (couldn't) live long. When her kits passed shortly after, they were taken by Tanglefern to be buried separately.
If it helps, ALL of the main cats (Tanglefern, Flaildrizzle, Rootstar, Bearface, even Sweetkit) have a fatal flaw. Tanglefern's is cowardice, he'd never admit to his mistake.
#thank you for the ask!#lutumclan#clangen#clan generator#warrior cats clangen#ask#tanglefern#bearface#sweetkit#flaildrizzle#rootstar#lutumlore#lutum theories
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