#Which induces frustration ABOUT NOTHING
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vio1315 ¡ 7 months ago
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I swear
It's wild but sometimes I'll start feeling ostracized for having a majority opinion
And it's just because I have a tendency to surround myself with all people who agree about very niche things
So people will discuss things like
'Shipping in stories is so uninteresting' and etc
And it's like 'Okay you feel that way, cool cool'
But then that's like the only take you ever see
and people just keep discussing it
And they're discussing it so much because it's countercultural so it's kind of always relevant
But I really don't engage with the wider culture very much, or people who enjoy such just don't feel the need to talk about it
So it's this really weird thing where on Many topics, despite generally holding the more common view, I start to feel like
'Dang maybe I need to say something about how x thing is actually okay in my opinion since nobody is really talking about it?'
Which would make a weird feedback loop I think
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youredreamingofroo ¡ 1 year ago
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getting so frustrated with the world that i might just go reinstall far cry 5 and disappear for a month...
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ccsainzleclerc5516 ¡ 4 months ago
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You’re My Baby Too
Pairing: Lando Norris x reader
Warnings: none
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You'd think that the second pregnancy would be a breeze. You already know everything about how it goes, how to prepare, what to expect, but in your case, your second pregnancy was dreadful.
First trimester, horrible nausea, you spent half your time over the toilet with Lando holding your hair. Your baby boy was so much bigger than Isla it made your back hurt like crazy all the time, and the worst thing of all was that your baby boy didn't wanna come out.
You prayed you wouldn't give birth before Lando finished the season, so when the season ended you were relieved. But then your due date passed, and nothing happened. Then five days passed after your due date, nothing again. 10 days after your due date - the baby just doesn't wanna come out.
You were frustrated, exhausted, and tired of being pregnant. You just wanted to be able to see your feet again and be able to get up off the couch without Lando having to pull your hand.
"It's because you make such a good home for him he doesn't wanna come out, love." Lando tried to calm you down in a nice way, not even realizing that he irritated you with that because he's been saying that for the last 10 days and your nerves have become very thin hearing it.
"I swear, if you say that one more time.." You barked rolling your eyes at him while holding your still very pregnant belly.
"I'm sorry, I'll shut up.."
“Thank you.” You glared at him.
He didn't hold it against you for your brazen response because he understood that it had become too much for you. Lately, he's been walking on eggshells around you because everything has been annoying you, and he didn't want to be the one to contribute to that.
When the twelfth day passed since your due date, you realized that too much time had passed and you even started to worry a little that something was wrong. So Lando decided to take you to the hospital, where you very clearly told the doctor that you weren't leaving the place until you gave birth.
You thought that by some miracle, as soon as you stepped into the hospital, labor would start and you would just pop the baby out and everything would be over in less than two hours just like it was with Isla, but of course that wasn't the case with this baby.
"I think we have no other choice but to induce the labor." The doctor said.
"Okay, how long does it take?" You asked. "Is it like natural labor or?"
"Induced labor can last from a few hours to a few days, it depends. It's most often completed within 12 to 18 hours from the start of the procedure."
"Oh my God" You sighed in despair with tears in your eyes and Lando immediately squeezed your hand to offer you at least some comfort.
"Does it hurt more than a normal birth?" Lando was very concerned about how painful it would be for you. While you were giving birth to Isla, Lando was of course by your side, and even though it was much shorter and easier, he was still terribly shaken to see the pain you went through.
"I don't want to discourage you and scare you right from the start, but many women have said that induced labor is more painful."
And boy oh boy was it painful.
When they gave you the drip to induce contractions, that's when the real agony began. The drip makes contractions stronger and more frequent and you can't even begin to explain what you'd compare that pain to.
You were sweating.
Crying.
Gripping the sides of the bed and Lando's hand, which at one point you thought you were going to break.
You honestly felt like dying. What was supposed to be the most beautiful experience of your life was quickly turning into a nightmare.
Lando was heartbroken seeing you like this. He was putting cold compresses on you, hugging you, kissing you, comforting you, begging you to endure this.
"I'm so sorry baby, I wish I could go through this instead of you. I'm so sorry."
He didn't leave you for a second, except when you caught a 5-minute break from the contractions and managed to close your eyes for at least a moment and calm down. Lando said he had to go to the bathroom.
He lied actually. Instead he went to the hallway outside your room where his parents were patiently waiting. By the look on his face, Cisca and Adam could see that Lando was not well and that he himself was traumatized.
Lando didn't say anything, he just hugged Cisca and buried his face in her neck, soaking her shoulder with tears.
"I'm so fucking scared for her. It wasn't like this the first time." Lando cried quietly.
"Oh honey, y/n's going to be alright, I promise you. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but soon this will pass and you'll be going home with your baby." Cisca comforted trying to lift his spirits. "Honey, you need to get yourself together, alright? She needs you right now and you need to be there for her."
When labor finally began after 14 long hours, you were running out of strength. You were so exhausted that you weren't sure if you would be able to push the baby out.
"Push y/n, push!" The doctor encouraged.
"I c-can't" You cried breathing rapidly. "Lando, I can't do it.."
"Come on baby, you can, I know you can. Just a little bit more and it's done, I promise. You've got this" He was pushing your hair out of your face, holding your hand, and holding your leg at the same time.
"Come on, push, push! I can see the head!"
Finally, the baby's cry was heard and soon the baby boy was on your chest. As soon as you saw him, all the pain instantly vanished.
He was so perfect. So worth it.
Lando couldn't contain his emotions as he rested his head on your shoulder, carefully observing his baby.
Later that day, when everything had calmed down, Lando was still there by your side. He couldn't be separated from you nor did he want to. His gaze shifted between you and the baby watching you both sleep peacefully.
He was tired too. He didn't really remember the last time he slept, but he knew you had it worse than him anyway, so he didn't even think of complaining.
"Lan?"
"Hey, love" His face lit up when you opened your eyes. When he saw you smile, it brought energy back to him. He took your hand and pressed a kiss to it. "Did you get some rest?"
"I did, why didn't you?" You asked him when you saw the huge dark circles under his eyes and the same clothes from the day before yesterday. "Baby, please go home, I know you're exhausted too."
"The only way I'm getting out of here is with you two."
You didn't want to argue with him because you knew it was pointless. You were just grateful that he was there and that he was yours.
"My pretty, pretty girl. I'm so proud of you." Lando said softly caressing your cheek and looking into your tired eyes. "I love you so much you know that, right?"
"I know, I can feel it. I love you too, so much." You say before kissing him. "Where are our kids?"
"This little guy is sleeping here without a care in the world."
"And Isla? She didn't come with your parents?"
"No, I told them not to bring her because I knew you'd get too emotional if you saw her, and I wanted you to rest as much as possible."
"You should've told them to bring her, I really miss her and I can't wait for her to meet her brother." You said, but you could still see the worry in Lando's eyes. "I'm fine, Lan, I promise."
"We're done with the kids. Our family is complete now."
"Lan.." You chuckled.
"No, I'm serious. I never want to see you go through so much pain again. It's been so hard to watch you like that and not be able to do anything and I'm not putting you through it again. "
"It was worth it tho. Look at him, he's so perfect. I'd do it all over again for our baby"
"I know, I know, but you're my baby too." No matter how many children you have, his protective attitude towards you will never change.
"Oh, love.." You pulled his hand to get up from the chair and come sit on the bed next to you so you can cuddle up next to him.
"I can't wait to take you home, both of you." He said quietly kissing your forehead.
You rested your head on his chest, knowing that wherever you are, as long as he's there, everything is fine.
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salemlunaa ¡ 1 month ago
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EMOTIONS ARE FLEETING, FACT IS FOREVER ⋆.˚ 𓆉
all that matters is the life you choose as fact.
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I just wanted to remind you that your emotions don’t determine anything. Fuck 3D proof, YOU ARE the person that has everything they want. YOU ARE the top priority, YOU ARE all that is. There is no one above YOU.
Some of you get this rush of excitement about living your dream lives all for it to come crashing down, and then you’re in a slump, doomscrolling on tumblr looking for things you already know about. Looking for refreshers when YOU ARE knowledge. And then you feel icky, because you feel like you’re wasting time feeling like shit when you should be locking in.
And to that i say:
emotions are fleeting.
Whether you feel like crap today, maybe due to circumstances. Whether you feel frustrated. Whether you feel this sense of extreme happiness. It doesn’t matter. Emotions pass. Whatever you are feeling shall pass. The only constant thing is you, and what you decide to be fact.
Emotions don’t manifest, you can feel like shit and still induce the void state. You can be depressed and still affirm your away into your dream life. You don’t have to keep your emotions at a 10 every second of the day to achieve your dreams, because emotions are something you feel in the sense of your outerman.
YOU ARE all that is. YOU ARE every emotion there is. The outerman only focuses on one emotion at a time. Don’t let that sway you.
Before I manifested my dream life, I equated what I was feeling with my ability to manifest. If I felt demotivated it meant I was stuck right back in my circumstances. I had to get rid of that attitude because no matter what I felt, it was already done, I already had everything. Emotions weren’t permanent but my awareness was, and as long as I chose to resonate with the new story no matter how shitty life felt, then I was there and it was done. That’s how I did it, I chose my new story again and again even when I wasn’t feeling on top of the world and even when I was feeling like some all powerful entity.
Enough with looking for the motivational posts, the ones that make it “click” on how powerful you are. You don’t need them. You already know, you don’t always have to feel it. Those posts give you motivation that lasts about 2 days. And then you’re back, because again, emotions, whether good or bad are fleeting, ever changing, fluctuating, whatever. That feeling of omnipotence will become constant when you realise that no matter what you feel, it’s already and always done for you.
All I had to do was think in my favour and choose the life I wanted, and emotions were nothing to me.
And stop giving in to your outer man’s wants. Your outerman may feel unworthy and unmotivated and will then need for things to “click” which is why you scroll tirelessly and hound bloggers for advice. And that’s why you run in circles from feeling on top of the world and like you can actually do this to, “why hasn’t it worked”. And some of you have been running in that circle for years and will continue to do so if you keep denying your new identity just because you feel bad.
Choose to live in the facts you create and emotions won’t matter anymore
The emotions you feel now are just as real as the ones you will feel when you manifest your desired life.
So whether you feel a sense of joy, anger, nostalgia or a sense of impending doom, just know they are fleeting, they won’t last and aren’t important unless you make them. YOU ARE the only constant thing. So rely on that. Rely on your mind. Not what you decide to feel today
tell yourself:
“I AM NOT MY EMOTIONS, I AM ONE WHO HAS IT ALL, NO MATTER WHAT”
You are the only trustworthy thing, not the things you feel.
EMOTIONS CANT ASSIST OR SABOTAGE YOU, THEY ARE EVERCHANGING
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suratan-zir ¡ 7 months ago
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Nothing that the Russians say or do on their television and social media can trigger and frustrate a Ukrainian more than the attitude of the Western world towards the Russians.
I read the morning news and see that Jared Leto on his show in Serbia happily told his Russian fans that he'll come to Russia and Ukraine when these "problems" are over. I go on tumblr and see people I follow reblogging a post about Discord being blocked in Russia, and instructions on how to use the VPN as if literally all Russians don't know it already. This post has over 2k notes! A post about atrocities that Russians willingly commit in Ukraine on a daily basis will get you 60-100 notes, 95% of which will be from other Ukrainians.
This is beyond triggering. How do you live in this Russian-loving world with Russian-induced PTSD?
This is not a "Ukrainian crisis", not "temporary difficulties", not just a "problem" that can go away without a trace. It's an invasion, a Russian war against Ukraine, genocide of Ukrainians. We are not crazy and overdramatic, we see the true face of Russia. The one you will never be able to see through your red square glasses.
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an0n12345 ¡ 3 months ago
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"I KEEP FALLING ASLEEP DURING MY METHOD, WHAT DO I DO????"
Literally nothing. Whether you want to induce pure consciousness or shift, falling asleep during your meditation/method is not a big deal. You're the one who's making it a big deal. You might think you've "failed" because you fell asleep and woke up in your "o/r". But the only reason you failed is because you're letting yourself fail. It's all about your damn mindset don't make this harder for yourself when it doesn't even need to be.
In my opinion inducing pure consciousness is even easier through sleep, because you're shutting down your physical senses. All it takes to wake up in pure consciousness/I am/void state/god state/quantum field/universal mind (they're all the same fcking thing just with different labels), is to believe that you will. Belief is the key. Don't get frustrated if you don't get it the first day, you are literally reprogramming your mind from the nasty limiting beliefs that are holding you back, cut yourself some slack. It's literally just changing your mindset, it's all what it is. I don't care how you do it, journal, affirm, visualize, meditate... who. cares. The point is that you do SOMETHING that works for you that'll help you shift your mindset. You never shift your reality, you shift your reality BY shifting your mindset. Got it? Mind over matter. You're above your physical reality, so act like it.
With shifting it's the same. Just believe that you'll shift and you will. It really is that simple. And if you don't shift that is completely fine, don't get mad at yourself or your 3D. You did everything correctly, just keep up the good mindset and the 3D has no choice but to manifest your belief. Notice how I said belief and not desire? Well the 3D does not care what you desire or what you don't desire, it just materializes what you accept to be the truth.
And sometimes you accept that you don't have your desire, which is why you "need" to manifest it, which is why it's not there.
This is the cycle.
Break it.
Have it in your mind RIGHT NOW. DARE to think that you have what you want right now. I know it might sound unbelievable , but remember, you're the boss. You make the rules. So make rules that work in your favor!??
Also, you guys do know that.... sleep methods exist, right...???
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jadeshifting ¡ 4 months ago
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— MAGICAL INNOVATIONS BY THE SERPENTS
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˚    ✦   .  .   ˚ .      . ✦     ˚     . ★⋆. ࿐࿔
“Absinditum” (undetectable alcohol charm) — causes alcohol to look and smell like water to everyone other than the person drinking it
invented mostly by Theo when he wanted to bring his flask with him to history of magic class—to get him through the snoozefest without any risk of detention ( truly brilliant charm invention with the least noble motivation. typical )
“Honoris Tesseca” (dice game anti-cheating charm)
invented mostly by Draco after he got tired of the rest of the Slytherins cheating one too many times at dice and making him lose (wimp) (big baby) (take it on the chin like the rest of us)
“Mutatio Pulmentum” (eyeshadow color changing charm)
invented mostly by Astoria & Pansy—the whole lot of us are prissy about our makeup, we kept getting frustrated with our makeup looks after they were already done, and wanted to be able to change the color scheme after it was already on our faces. this charm has spared us of a couple meltdowns before events
“Resipisco” (immediate sobriety charm)
invented mostly by Blaise & Enzo because of the Slytherin boys’ drinking habits and, more specifically, the risks they pose during our stuffy pureblood family events ( if anyone got caught stumbling around and embarrassing their parents they’d get hexed into next week )
“Senodaris” (self-brushing hair charm)
there’s nothing quite so eyeroll-inducing as arriving back at your dorm after a long day, or a night of drinking, and realizing that you still have to brush your hair. at least for us, which is why Daphne invented this charm when we unanimously agreed it was too much trouble
“Strua Sublevaris” (menstrual cramp alleviation charm)
invented mostly by Pansy and Millicent when all of the girls’ periods synced up one summer and began heavily and irritatingly interfering with our dueling (pain is fine, distracted dueling is NOT)
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3rdgymbros ¡ 5 months ago
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━ 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐌𝐲 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐠 !
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— pairing; nagi seishiro x manager! reader  
— summary; in which nagi refuses to take of the ring you've given him, part 2 to this oneshot. set in the blue lock manager au.
— notes; please donate to my kofi if you like my content and and please commission me because im broke. kisses to everyone who reblogs.
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❋ True to your word, you place an order for a pair of matching rings – something sleek, simple and understated. It’s nothing too fancy, just something to replace the cheap plastic one you’d previously given to Nagi.
❋ Nagi’s reaction is muted when you give it to him; he stares at the ring for a solid minute before sliding it on, mumbling, “. . . Cool. Thanks.”
❋ (Reo later tells you that in Nagi-speak, it’s basically code for: “I love it.”)
❋ Nagi becomes surprisingly attached to his new ring. He fidgets with it when he's bored, spins it on his finger when he’s thinking, and even admires how it sparkles whenever it catches the light. It’s a must-have now, and he never takes it off.
❋ And therein lies the problem.
❋ Rings are technically illegal to wear in football for safety reasons, but Nagi either doesn’t know that or just doesn’t care.
❋ One day, the eagle-eyed Chris Prince spots the forbidden accessory glinting in the sun, and practice immediately grinds to a halt. To his credit, Chris tries to handle the situation with his trademark charm and positivity. “Seishiro, what is that?”
❋ “It’s my ring. Why?” Nagi blinks lazily up at Chris.
❋ Cue Chris trying (and failing) to calmly explain FIFA regulations about jewellery. “It’s a safety hazard, Seishiro.”
❋ “Ehh? But why? It’s just a ring." Nagi drawls, obviously unimpressed with Chris’s rules.
❋ Chris, obviously aware of the cameras all trained upon him, struggles to maintain his signature megawatt smile. but the strain is so real. He’s practically vibrating with suppressed frustration. “It’s the rule!” His voice is an octave higher than usual, the veins on his temple almost popping, but his smile never falters.
❋ Taking pity on Chris, Reo beckons you over with a frantic wave of his hand. Nagi immediately perks up at the sight of you. “Oh, hey. Here,” he says, sliding the ring off his finger and onto yours without hesitation. “Hold onto it for me.”
❋ And then he trots back onto the field as though he hadn’t almost given Chris a stress-induced aneurysm.
❋ Chris stands frozen for a moment, his forced smile twitching dangerously. “It’s fine,” he mutters to himself under his breath, visibly trying to calm himself down before he returns to coaching, even though he looks moments away from tearing his perfect hair out. “It’s fine. He's just one player, Chris. Deep breaths.”
❋ The next day, Chris makes sure to hold a meeting about rules and regulations. The presentation includes a giant slide reading: NO RINGS ON THE FIELD.
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BONUS (Chris Prince, to Nagi):
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declareqenius ¡ 1 year ago
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some would sing and some would scream
summary: your girlfriends are two of the best mob bosses in the city. you and natasha were out for a nightly walk, both feeling restless as you awaited wanda’s return from a business trip. it was going well, until someone got the jump on both of you. 
pairings: WandaNat x Reader
warnings: blood, violence, knives, being tied up, stabbing, passing out
a/n: hey guys! here’s another one. i have no idea how mobs work, which is probably a good thing, but i hope it makes enough sense. second part, anyone? let me know what you think! wanda is barely here but is mentioned throughout. 
Part 1 | Part 2 
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It’s been days since you and Natasha have seen Wanda. Days, maybe a week, since you were both taken by the henchmen of an enemy family; the Celestials. They have nerve, you’ll give them that, but you know as soon as Wanda and the rest of your family finds your location, they won’t know what hit them. 
The metal chair is cold against your legs and the restraints around your wrists are digging uncomfortably into your skin. You know the more you struggle, the worse it will be, but you need to at least try. There are cuts on either cheek and one gash on your thigh- which is exposed because you decided to wear shorts that fated day. You started regretting your decision yesterday because they kept their torture room freezing, and although you reside in New York, the cold has never been- and never will be- your friend. 
Natasha sits next you in a chair identical to yours. Her restraints are different, though, and it’s obvious the Celestials know how big of a threat she is. She’s continuously struggled to get out of them and your heart pangs in your chest because part of you knows it’s because she hates seeing you hurt. 
Your girlfriend is safe from cuts and gashes and it’s all due to them wanting to get under her skin. They know of the relationship you share with the two powerful mob leaders, and they’re trying to use it to their advantage. 
Natasha doesn’t break easily. Neither does Wanda. Everyone knows this, including you, but Nat barely lasted ten minutes when Najma- the leader of the Celestials- started dragging the knife across your thigh. She begged her to take her instead, but Najma was quick to assure that any torture you faced would be dragged out. 
“Nat. Stop. You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep struggling.” Your firm voice cuts through the thick silence and leaves no room for argument. You’d stopped struggling five minutes ago when you realized it wouldn’t help, but Natasha kept it up and the redness around her wrists started to worry you. 
“I need to get out before they come in again. Need to get you untied.” Her voice is gravelly and preoccupied, and her plight is obvious. The only thoughts swarming her head are about getting you out of there unharmed. 
“And then what? You fight them off with nothing and we die trying to escape? We leave Wanda alone? She’ll never forgive us for that. We have to think about this, Natasha.” 
You’re honestly surprised how calm you were, considering the situation. But you know Wanda is on a murderous rampage and Natasha is going through anger induced anxiety at the mere thought of either of you not making it out of this, so you’re left being the reasonable one. 
“I am thinking about this, Y/N!” 
Her chair clangs to a halt as she stops struggling with a frustrated huff. You know that if the two of you weren’t in the hands of your family’s greatest rival, then your girlfriend would let her tears flow free. The only sign that she had any intent of crying before she remembered where you were was her red nose. 
“I’m thinking about it,” she says defeatedly, yet firmly. “Najma is going to come back any minute and she is going to harm you in unimaginable ways and I can’t stop her because I’m tied to this stupid fucking chair.” 
“Natty,” you say softly, “look at me, please?” 
God, you wish you could reach out and touch her. It takes a moment for her to find some semblance of composure so she can look you in the eyes instead of staring guiltily at the gash in your thigh. 
“Listen to me, okay? I need you to hear me,” you start, waiting until Natasha subtly nods her head to continue, “You aren’t going to tell them anything. No matter what they do to me-” 
“But-” 
“No. Listen. Whatever they do to me, I need you to grin and bear it until Wanda gets here or you have a secure plan to get us out. It’s going to be painful for both of us, but I’m a big girl, I can handle it, okay?” 
“Detka, I don’t know if I can-” 
“Natalia. I knew what I was getting into the moment you and Wanda told me what you did for a living. I knew it would happen eventually. There’s only so much protecting my knights in shining fedoras,” you give her a gentle grin at your joke, “can do. I need you to promise me. No matter how much pain I’m in. We need to wait it out. That’s all we can do right now, my love.” 
Natasha looks like she desperately wants to argue again, but you both know she’s only got so much fight left and she needs to save it for when Najma comes back. You try not to imagine what the leader of the Celestials has in store for you; which ways your body will be bloodied and scarred, but it’s hard when Natasha’s brain is going a mile a minute and the blood from the gash on your leg won’t stop dripping down your thigh. 
“Do you remember our very first date?” You ask, a small smile on your face as you look up at your girlfriend. 
“Malysh-” 
“Nat, please. I can’t sit in silence.” 
She sighs and looks away for a moment. To compose herself. You fear that sentence nearly sent her over the edge, but a moment later she nods. 
“Like it was yesterday. Wands and I had thirty minutes to clean ourselves up after having gotten back from taking care of something. We were so worried we were going to be late, and so we texted you that work held us up for longer than we anticipated. You were so patient with us. You still are so patient with us.” 
“Have to be with you two. Who knows what kind of trouble you got into when it was just the both of you parading around. Someone has to keep you in check, make sure you have something, someone to come home to. Both of you.” 
“And we cherish every moment we get to spend with you, detka.” 
Natasha says it so sincerely and it pushes you over the edge. Your eyes start watering and while it’s not a full-on sob, your tears do fall because you know where Natasha’s mind has gone. Where it has been this entire time. 
Then, it feels as if all the air in the room is sucked out. All the love you felt from Natasha moments ago is gone when you see her face switch to one you had only seen a handful of times. Your girlfriends try to keep you out of the business as much as they can, but you were still privy to some things. Natasha’s expression looked distant and blank, and you hear clapping from the far right corner of the room. 
Your heart sinks to your stomach, but you keep your features neutral. 
Najma. 
“Aw, how sweet. Quite a show you both put on. If this were reality television, my family would be rooting for you. Little lovebirds. It’s a shame your other girlfriend isn’t here. I’m sure it would spice things up.” 
“If she were here, you would be dead already,” you snark. 
“Dorogoy-” Natasha starts in warning, but Najma is quick to cut her off. 
“It’s okay, Ms. Romanova. She won’t be able to... joke around much once I’m done with her. I must say, I have been quite lenient and I am a sucker for a love story, but I fear it is time to get some answers. So, every time you refuse to answer one of my questions, your little girlfriend here will endure some kind of pain. Haven’t decided yet. Won’t decide until that moment. Whatever feels right, I suppose. Nod to let me know you understand.” 
Natasha nods. 
Your eyes bore holes into the side of her head and you hope she hears your pleas. Your reminders. 
“Good. We’ll start off easy, then.” Najma takes her knife out of her boot and slowly walks over to you. She places the tip on your upper arm. The way she’s looking at you, as if you were a turkey to be carved instead of eaten and enjoyed, chills you to the bone. 
“What is your name?” Najma directs the question towards Natasha. 
“Natasha Romanova-Maximoff.” 
“Hm. That’ll do. What is your wife’s name?” 
“Wanda Romanova-Maximoff.” 
These were all answers that Najma knew already, and you’re unsure of why she’s wasting time. Not that you’re complaining. The more time she takes to interrogate Natasha, the more time Wanda has to find you both. The only name Najma shouldn’t know is yours. Natasha hasn’t once used it since you’ve been kidnapped, and you figure it’s for a reason. Your only family is the one you were welcomed into when you officially became Wanda and Natasha’s girlfriend, but your name not being out there kept you safer. 
“And what is your girlfriend’s name?” 
There it is. 
You glance at Natasha, fully aware of the knife on your arm but deeming it safe enough to move the slightest amount. Natasha’s eyes catch yours and you don’t have to plead with her this time. Her decision was made the moment her green eyes met your own. 
Keeping your name a secret gives both of you a better chance when Wanda breaks the both of you out of this place. 
So, when Natasha moves her eyes from yours to look at Najma, you prepare yourself for the pain. 
The redhead doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t need to. Najma knows it isn’t a question she’s going to answer simply by the blank determination written across her face. 
“Very well then,” the Celestial leader says, bored as she drags the knife slowly across your upper arm. 
You stare at Natasha the entire time. 
Natasha stares at your arm, and you know it is her way of punishing herself. 
As if being locked in a freezing room with no way out wasn’t punishment enough. Your girlfriend forces herself to watch as one of her foes marks your body with their knife. Their torture. 
It makes her angry and she clenches both her jaw and her fists to keep herself from pulling on the restraints, having learned her lesson twenty minutes earlier. 
Wanda will never let her live this down. 
You’re glad it’s not Wanda with you. She would have been able to kill everyone by now, but if they had put special cuffs on her and made her watch as they tortured you, you know she would have given everything up to ensure you lived. 
You appreciate how much your girls love you, but the family wouldn’t have been able to take that kind of hit. So, you’re glad it’s Natasha who is with you, and maybe you’ll get the chance to reiterate that to Wanda someday soon. It will surely keep them from biting each other’s heads off while you’re recovering. 
“Next question.” 
You can hear the Cheshire Cat-like grin Najma wore as she placed the knife in a different spot on your body. This time, your thigh, about two inches higher than the first gash she gave you. 
“Where is the Mind stone?” 
Again, Natasha doesn’t answer and you audibly keel over in pain when the knife creates an identical gash to the one that came before it. 
Again, Natasha watched the knife slide across your thigh. 
“Hard eggs to crack, but I have only just begun.” 
Now, Najma is in front of you and you barely have enough time to process the cool metal of the knife being dragged down your face. Your breathing is heavy, but you muster the most spiteful expression you can. 
“I would really hate to see this beautiful face marred, Natasha. It would be such a shame. She could pose for those magazines. I hear it is great work, but enough small talk. Maybe I won’t have to mar your beautiful face, my little paaltoo.”
You decide then that you only like Urdu when Kamala speaks it. 
“All Natasha has to do is give me the location of the Mind stone and your pretty little face will go unmarked. Don’t worry, it will only hurt a little bit. It’s more of a... reminder for your lovers.” 
Even if your girlfriend’s face remains neutral, you can tell she’s seething on the inside. You glance at her for a moment and you know that you need to stall more. Enough for Wanda to find both of you. Nat can’t do anything but not answer Najma’s questions, and eventually Najma will tire of the game she’s playing. Who knows what that would look like? You doubt she would kill you quickly and undermine the work she’s already done on you, but if Najma doesn’t have something to quell her violent hunger, you don’t know what will happen to you or Natasha. 
So, you have to keep Najma entertained. Interested. Piece of cake. 
When you know that her focus is on Natasha’s expression and not your “pretty little face”, you send a guilty look to your girlfriend. Better to ask for forgiveness later. Then, you muster up all your courage and remember all the times you’ve seen Wanda and Natasha interrogate people, and you speak.
“What makes you think Natasha will talk? You’ve gotten this far and she hasn’t said a word. Maybe she doesn’t care about me as much as you think she does.”
“Mm, you’re not going to get me that easy my little paaltoo, I hear how she speaks to you. How she looks at you. And how she seethes every time my blade runs across your delicate skin. The love this woman holds for you is insurmountable. Don’t think me a fool.” 
“You picked the wrong one.” 
“Excuse me?” 
Blood runs down the side of your arm and thigh and you’ve long forgotten how to feel the searing pain. 
“The wrong girlfriend. You should’ve picked Wanda. Natasha is tough to crack but she’s been through a lot. Wanda, though? Wanda has a heart of gold and the sight of me in danger would have had her spilling all of her secrets. Or it would have sent her on a murderous rampage and we’d be out of here already, but you never know. All I’m saying is that Wanda would have given you so much more than Natasha ever will.” 
Your nonchalance must have been jarring to both the women in the room, and you’re certain that Yelena, your best friend, would have been proud of you. 
“I’m holding a knife to your face and you have the audacity to judge my methods?” 
Najma pierces your skin with the point of the blade and it almost makes you laugh. 
“What are you going to do? Kill me? You would lose leverage over Wanda and Natasha. You wouldn’t give that up so easily.” 
“And what makes you think I couldn’t find something else they hold dear to them?” 
“You would be searching for the rest of your life.” 
It’s a big statement. Words that probably hold a lot more weight than anything you have ever said before, but you’re aware of what you mean to your girlfriends. How all of you balance each other out in ways that no one expects upon first meeting the three of you. In fact, you’re so certain of your feelings for them and vice versa, that if you make it out of this alive, then you’re going to propose to them. 
Wanda would absolutely kill Natasha if you didn’t make it out of this alive. Guilt would eat both of them up, but better one of you makes it out than neither of you. 
Another slash of the knife on your cheek and you can feel the sting of the blade as Najma follows all the way through with a flick of her wrist. 
“Natasha, tell you girlfriend to shut up.” 
“I’ve never listened to Natasha.” You’re a bit of a brat sometimes, it’s true. “Besides, I’m going to bleed out soon anyway. Then my lovely girlfriend won’t have anyone to talk to. That would be such a shame because I’m a gem.” 
You decide then that you’ve stalled long enough, and really all you did was give your already gushing wounds time to bleed even more. The light headedness is starting to catch up to you and you sincerely hope that you’ve done enough. 
Najma doesn’t pay any mind to your talking, probably realizing what exactly it is that you were doing, and instead she focuses on Natasha again. 
“I will ask one more time.” 
This time Najma positions the knife in front of your stomach and you don’t know if she’s going to stab you or cut you, but you’re not sure she knows either. Frantic green eyes lock onto yours as you get a good look at Natasha. Your eyes are calm as you try memorize everything from the way her braid sits on the side of her shoulder to the perfect shape of her lips. Fear pulses through you and you know that somehow it is not entirely your own, but you shake your head all the same. 
You will not be the reason your family falls. You will not be the reason that Wanda and Natasha have no home to go back to. 
“Where. Is. The Mind stone?” 
Nat’s eyes are pleading but yours remain blank and you know she has to bring forth years and years of training to look away from you and instead at Najma. So the woman holding the knife can see the defiance in her eyes along with her lips pursed in a straight line. Natasha isn’t going to say a word. 
The knife plunges into your left side and you don’t scream, you aren’t going to give your captor that satisfaction, but the sound you do make is enough to have Natasha looking away and a single tear rolling down her cheek. To your confusion, though, Najma doesn’t withdraw the weapon. She leaves the blade inside of you and brushes off her hands before grabbing you by the chin so you can look directly in her eyes.
“Don’t breathe too hard, my little paaltoo, otherwise a vital organ will be caught and I would so love to torture you more later.” 
With that, she lets go of you and walks out. You think that having to look into that woman’s eyes was worse than any of the torture she’s inflicted on you. 
“Natty,” you breathe, voice worn and your eyes wanting to shut already. You’ve never been stabbed before and the pain plus your other wounds is too much. 
“Detka, I’m so sorry,” Natasha’s voice breaks and your heart aches for her. 
“Shhh. Don’t apologize, my love.” Breathing is starting to get really hard. “Natty I need to tell you something.” 
“Anything, malyshka.” 
You know Nat is desperate to keep you talking. Keep you awake. Alive. You don’t want to give up just yet. Wands will be here soon, you can feel it. 
“I think,” your head lolls to the side for a moment, “I think I only,” you breathe in and out, “like Urdu when Kamala,” you swallow because your mouth feels really dry all of a sudden, “speaks it.” 
“Me too, detka. Me too.” 
You can feel yourself fading, and you don’t think the knife has hit anything vital yet, but maybe a nap would help lessen the pain. Just a quick one. 
Your head lolls forward and it jostles the blade a little. You can hear Natasha’s panic, how her voice wavers and breaks as she addresses you. 
“Detka, baby, you’re doing so good for me, love. You’ve done so good. I need you to hold on just a little bit longer, okay? Just a little longer. For Wanda. Please, baby. Need you to stay awake.” 
You blink your eyes open and muster enough strength to look up at her. 
“I’m so tired, Natty.” 
“I know, baby. I know, but I need you for just a little longer, okay?”
“I don’t know if I can, Natty.” 
Breathing hurts and blood is sticky. Your head once again droops forward.
“Please. Please, Y/N!” 
Natasha’s cries are suddenly drowned out by the door opening. You assume it’s Najma, because even in your drowsy state, you didn’t miss the fact that Natasha screamed your name. 
But then there’s an explosion and you’re able to open your eyes just enough to see swirls of scarlet red surrounding the room. You can’t hang on any longer, but you hope that Wanda and Natasha will forgive you as you finally let your eyes close all the way and your body slump forward in the metal chair you were tied to. 
The last thing you felt was Natasha’s hands on you, trying to wake you up, and the last thing you heard was Wanda’s agonizing screams.
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artdcnaldson ¡ 11 months ago
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patrick hive to the rescue because im thinking, as i often do, about friends to lovers with patrick where you're kind of upset because he and art have gotten around and you're still struggling on the dating scene, maybe you're shy, probably you just have standards, and its really just all starting to bug you because you're worked up!!!!! imagine hanging out with patrick during the summer - the room is sticky with humidity, despite the air conditioning being on full blast. you're hot and irritated and sexually frustrated. patrick being half clothed isn't helping, either - you can see the gleam of sweat on his bare chest - the dusking of hair on his thick thighs as he lounges back with a cigarette. you're going mad, it feels like you could detonate at any second your clit is so on fire - throbbing and achey and everytime you press you sweat slick thighs together it makes it worse.
patrick is looking at his phone - so you take the chane - just a small touch - just for some relief. you're on the bed, there's a plushi blocking his view - it cant hurt just to slide a sneaky hand down the band of your shorts and panties. just to stroke your swollen slit. surely he wont noitce if you just...... rub yourself a little. while you sneak glances at his toned body - just peeks, really. if you're very quiet (you do realize the sticky squelch of your cunt can be heard across the room, right? you dont) you might even be able to cum undetected
GODDDDD FUCK!!!! This was supposed to be a chill, normal, short response. Instead I ignored 2 work calls bc it’s that serious.
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Rating: E (18+)
Warnings: SMUT (exibitionism/voyeurism, f!masturbation, not fingering but a secret third adjacent thing, extreme levels of horniness)
A/N: Patrick Hive we Linked and Built <3
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Patrick thought it was so sweet that you invited him to visit your home for the summer. Apparently you’d sung nothing but his praises to your parents, because even though you were both eighteen, they let him sleep on the floor of your room on a blow up mattress, trusting him that much.
Which was annoying. You weren’t fucking Patrick (not for lack of wanting to), but they could’ve at least given you the benefit of the doubt and assumed that you might have some sort of sexual urges. It made your stupid fucking celibacy that much more embarrassing.
You’re home alone with him and the power’s out— a stupid, heat-induced rolling blackout. The open window only seems to usher in more hot summer air, so you’re both down to as few layers as would be appropriate. You, were down to a thin T-shirt and your panties. Patrick was only in a pair of grey nylon shorts. Sweat was beading down his bare chest, which was so fucking unfair.
Because it was Patrick, whose chest hair and happy trail made your mouth fill with drool any time you were treated to the sight of it. It was summer, and he was frequently shirtless, and you still hadn’t gotten used to the sight. Any sane person would want to lave their tongue along his chest, tasting the sweat and salt of his skin. That was… so totally normal to think about.
Patrick fucked your neighbor— the cute one who was going to a state school so she could be a kindergarten teacher. You didn’t know, but you were pretty sure. You’d been swimming in the pool during a cul-de-sac cookout, and they’d disappeared after a while. Patrick didn’t say anything that night, probably to protect your delicate sensibilities, but you could just kind of sense it.
God, it was unfair. All of the guys your age had girlfriends, or something. And the single ones were cute, but Patrick always seemed to fuck things up for you, either actively, or because you would always wind up talking about him. And because your parents thought it was totally fine for him to sleep in your room, you were surviving off of weak, rushed orgasms in the shower.
It was supposed to be a fun, sexy summer before you went off to college, and Patrick was totally ruining it. How was it fair that he got to fuck around and get his rocks off while you spent your summer feeling like you were wearing a fucking chastity belt?
And you were so wet it was uncomfortable, sticky between your thighs with absolutely no relief. Patrick was sitting on the fucking Air mattress, propped up by your cute, pink pillows and plushies that he’d stolen, watching a rerun of The Hills on MTV. His hand dangled out the open bedroom window so the smell of smoke wouldn’t get stuck in your innocent little bedroom.
He stretched, and you watched with an open mouth as he blew the cigarette smoke out the window. Pretty fucking lips, his muscles all taut as he turned. He looked back at the TV, and you exhaled a shaky breath. Fuck, you were so turned on you wanted to scream. Your pussy was just drooling into your panties, clit throbbing and aching for attention, your entire body felt empty, desperate to be filled up.
You were practically buried in your stuffed animal collection, which was embarrassing on any other day (Patrick had nearly laughed at the sight, but you’d insisted that you couldn’t just throw all of them away… they were nostalgic), but you’d never been more grateful until that moment.
You were already pretty well covered, thanks to the near life size bear sitting beside you— the perfect safety net. Your pulse was thundering in your chest, making you feel a little dizzy with anxiety or arousal, or a strange new mix of both.
You were burning hot between your thighs— throbbing and soaked all sticky and slick. Your legs twitched instinctively as your fingertips dipped into your core, where a pool of your arousal awaited. A shaky gasp escaped you as you moved your slick fingers up to your neglected clit, and you quickly muffled the noise into your pillow
It was like you’d never really touched yourself before. The level of need and desperation within you was completely unknown until that point. Your eyes rolled back as you began grinding up against your fingers. Your teeth dug into your lip to stay quiet as you played with your clit as discreetly as you could.
Patrick shifted to get more comfortable. Flexing his thighs just slightly, rubbing sweaty palms against the muscles there. He ashed his cigarette with his gaze locked on the TV. “This shit is so boring,” he muttered.
And fuck, his voice. You considered arguing with him, just so he’d get louder, and his voice would get more intense, and you’d be able to fuck yourself to completion to the sound of him speaking.
Your poor, neglected pussy clenched around absolutely nothing, begging to be filled by his dick, his fingers, your fingers, a toy, a hairbrush, fucking anything. Your panties were absolutely sodden— drenched to the point of forming a transparent little spot right above your cunt.
If Patrick had looked over, or, if he had unfocused his eyes just right and peered into the reflection of the TV screen, he would’ve been able to make out the sight of your fingers, moving steadily, desperately against your clit. If he had done that.
Your toes curled just slightly, thighs closing around your hand as you got closer and closer. It was loud— just how much you were moving. You needed— god, you needed so much in that moment. You grabbed a random plushie— a pink rabbit that you probably got with that years’ Easter basket— and held it over your lap. Yeah, that worked. Super casual, perfect way to hide the way your hand was working your clit.
And the pressure. Jesus Christ, the pressure of the warm stuffed animal over your cunt was too nice to resist. You’d have to throw it away after, you knew, but you couldn’t help but grind yourself up against it. If you closed your eyes, you could imagine it was his lap, or his thigh, or something warm and soft and hard for you to rut against.
But you couldn’t close your eyes, because you had to watch Patrick. To make sure he didn’t know what you were doing. An arm slung behind his head, the muscles highlighted by the shiny sheen of sweat there. You whimpered pathetically, muffled into the pillows. He probably heard, he pretended he didn’t. It was that level of feigned ignorance that let you keep going.
He probably knew, you could pretend he didn’t. The razor’s edge between you and a much needed, earth-shattering orgasm hinged on that level of ignorance.
So you pathetically humped against your fingers, and the stuffed rabbit, and chased at the bliss that was so fucking close you could taste it like metal on your tongue. Your thighs squeezed around the rabbit as you came, soaking through and making even more of a mess of your panties, and the rabbit, and your sheets, and your fingers.
You hadn’t realized how loud you were breathing. It was like someone had been holding you underwater and you could only just now hear the world with a shocking sense of clarity. Your body felt hot all over, your legs felt like jelly. You hid the stuffed rabbit beneath a discarded blanket, a problem for later. Legs crossed so you could hide the soaked mess between your legs.
Sure, you could play that off.
“You could’ve asked me to leave,” Patrick said around his cigarette. There was a twist to his lips, a sense of amusement. “Nah, you probably didn’t want me to. Too busy eye fucking me while you defiled that poor little bunny.”
He stood, noticeably hard in his shorts, which you weren’t looking at weren’t looking at weren’t looking at. He grabbed your ankles and pulled your legs apart, all while wearing the smug sort of expression that got you to this position in the first place. Really, it was all his fault. His eyes trailed up your legs, to the glistening mess coating your upper thighs, and the sheer mess of your panties.
“Huh.” His hands moved up your thighs and you exhaled shakily, parting them more to accommodate him, whatever he wanted, whatever he was thinking. You could come a thousand more times just for him, at his every whim. But that was the repression talking, not just because of him.
Your breath caught as his fingers hooked into the waistband of your panties and he peeled them down. His expression held the same sort of concentration that you saw him exhibit on the court. Focused on you, it made your heart pound.
“No wonder you were so loud, huh?” He teased, fingers gliding through your slit. It was embarrassing how wet you were, coating his fingers and palm in your arousal. Each light brush against your clit made your thighs twitch, made a desperate keen escape you. “I could hear it the second you started, by the way. But even before that, I could fucking smell how turned on you were. You could’ve said something, you know. I would’ve taken care of you, made it real nice.”
You moaned softly, eyes wide as you peered up at him. When he removed his hands from your pussy you fucking whined— pouting as he held his fingers up to the light and grinned at the glistening mess left behind. You watched those fingers disappear between plush lips, tongue sweeping out to clean them up. His cock jumped behind the shorts he wore from want.
“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” you insisted, sitting up to rub him through the fabric. “It’s hot, we’re both horny and bored. Just use me. It’ll feel nice.”
He didn’t take much convincing. He’d been rubbing his dick raw on that stupid fucking inflatable mattress every night when you were asleep anyway. How could he not? You were just too adorable.
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@poppy-metal your mind amazes me no words no thoughts just this <3 thank youuuuuu for this in my inbox it truly kept me fed
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agendabymooner ¡ 1 year ago
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SOMETHING JEALOUS !!! DANIEL R. X FEM!READER feat. lando norris (18+)
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summary: jealous danny = generous danny. (part two-ish to something watchful)
content warning: use of explicit language, smut under the cut (minors dni!), not proofread, dubcon, pwp, voyeurism (danny makes lando watch, consensual) + masturbation (m), filthy filthy content, dom!daniel x sub!reader (and dom!lando), based on a request from my inbox
note: the max verstappen smut reached 1,000+ notes 😗 enjoy xx
something sinful (smut) masterlist
a - n masterlist
o - z masterlist
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lando furrowed his brows at the sight of her, watching as she pouted. her gaze was going to burn a hole into the booth table, lando thought as he looked around the headache inducing and strobe light flickering room. where the fuck was her boyfriend, daniel?
“he’s with some chick over there,” the british man must’ve spoken aloud because of how she answered the question without any amusement in her tone. she gestured at the bar area, where lando found daniel ricciardo chatting up with some lady with his typical grin. 
what the fuck was danny doing making someone laugh that wasn’t his girlfriend? 
“fucking beats me, lando,” she huffed out.
“shit did i say that out loud?” lando asked as she nodded with a begrudging expression. “never mind that— why are you pouting and sulking, girl?” 
“it happens whenever your boyfriend would come chatting with people that aren’t you,” she said grimly.
“cheer up,” lando grinned, slinging his arm around her. in a drunken haze, he hadn’t minded his actions but if he was sober he knew how poor this would be for his friendship with daniel. 
daniel was possessive. everyone knew that.
every driver in the grid knew that no matter how much they'd drooled over his girlfriend. everyone’s mothers knew not to get too close whenever she was around.
lando was playing with fire but he couldn’t help it; his buzzed self wanted to comfort his friend— his friend’s girlfriend. 
and daniel had immediately seen it. the aussie’s sight darkened when he found his girlfriend laughing with lando while they chatted amongst themselves. 
she seemed to be having fun, which was good for certain reasons but daniel only wished he could cut lando’s arms off as he watched the british man get a little too comfortable and close to her. 
it was almost as if the woman that daniel was chatting with had disappeared. his gaze burned holes through his girlfriend’s demeanour and figure as he tried to contain his frustration and jealousy. 
and by the time she looked at him, she knew that she was done for. that the lust and jealousy in daniel ricciardo’s eyes would come with a price.
what she didn’t expect, however, was that the price would come along with a company in a form of a british driver. the one that slung his arm over her shoulder. lando.
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the pout on her face, alongside the smudge of her mascara, was what daniel paused to see for a brief moment.
his jealousy was the result of his girlfriend’s unintentional close contact with lando norris, and he could admit that. and the messy features of her face was a result of daniel’s jealousy— admiring her silently as she whined about his cock. 
when he circled around her and reached behind her, he tutted and murmured, “so wet for me, sweetheart.”
she laid flat on her stomach, her cheeks spreading thanks to daniel’s observant hands before he let go and smacked her right cheek. she moaned pitifully, eyes closing as her cunt throbbed around nothing. “danny, please…”
“nuh uh, don’t ‘danny please’ me now, doll,” daniel grinned darkly. “you have to tell me what you wan’, pretty girl. you can’ whine and expect me to give it to you.” 
“i- ah,” she cried out as she felt a sharp pain from her roots, being pulled up by him as she whimpered, “wan’ you to fuck me, danny. wanna feel full.”
“yeah? you want my cock?” 
“hm- mhm~” she nodded eagerly, his hand restraining her movement.
“d’ya want to be fucked full?” he asked again, making her nod. his maniacal smile faltered for a brief moment as he pointed her head towards in front of them. “by who? me or him?”
“open your eyes, pretty girl. tell me who’d you want to fuck you,” and she did, her glistening eyes sharing contacts with lando’s lust blown pupils as he sat on the chair across the bed, his cock hardening as he continued rubbing the tip of it.
this was filthy, the three of them could admit— but they could also admit that they were getting immense pleasure from this.
if daniel was going to make someone watch them as they fuck, she might as well make him jealous all the time. it was just a surprise that, of all the people who would be up for this, lando would be the one to watch and get pleasure out of his best friend’s filthy fantasy. 
she stammered, “y- you, danny- i want you to fuck me- hah~ fuck! yes, like that!”
lando incoherently sighed at the sight of her being filled to the brim by daniel’s cock, watching her tits bounce while daniel fucked her roughly. lando continued to stroke his length as he watched the couple.
“fuck, fuck- shit~” she cursed, drool falling down her lips as she sucked on daniel’s fingers to keep herself silent.
“tell ‘im how you feel, baby,” daniel pulled his fingers away from her mouth and smacked her ass.
“so good,” she moaned.
“that’s it, baby?”
“‘m so full and it’s so good, lan,” she babbled coherently. “‘is cock is so good, fuuuuuck~”
“yeah? is that right, girl?” lando taunted, stroking his cock as she cried in pleasure, tears falling down her eyes as daniel continued to spear her insides with his cock. “gettin’ too dumb now, princess? is it because it’s so good?”
she nodded eagerly as sounds of hips snapping echoed around the room, her cunt making squelching noises as daniel fucked her from behind. 
“answer him, doll,” daniel demanded firmly. “use your words or ‘m not gonna fuck you.”
“yes!” she managed to get it out of her mouth as she cried and babbled, “fills me so good, hah— and he- fuck! shit, danny please want more!” 
“had i known that you were into this kind of bullshit, i would've made you jealous way before this,” lando teased.
“don’t push your fucking luck,” daniel growled lowly. “be grateful we even let you watch. stop talking and watch her fall apart— you’re gonna miss the good part.”
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mockerycrow ¡ 1 year ago
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Lately I've been dying with stress induced migraines and was wondering if I could request the 141 or any character of your choosing to take care of the reader suffering from them??
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MIGRAINES (Ghost x GN!Reader)
ghost masterlist
[WARNINGS; medicine/drugs, inaccuracy of medicine stuff, inaccuracy of military, fluff, physical hurt/comfort, mention of overdosing, it’s implied you do not have regular sleeping problems.]
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You know a migraine is about to come on when you’re looking down at the paper in front of you—something about a past mission—and you can’t see the lower right corner of the paper. You blink harshly and rub your eyes, the blotch not leaving which leads you to believe it’s a migraine aura. A heavy feeling forms in the bottom of your stomach, a weird sensation blooming in the nape of your neck. You put the paper down for a moment and rub your eyes—it’s only Tuesday and this will be your second migraine. 
You feel frustration ebb at your nerves as tears threaten to spill, causing you to let out a shuddery breath. You stand up from the office chair you’re sitting in, near your desk in your barracks. You decided that you should warn the Captain about your aura and that you would need some rest for the incoming day and maybe even tomorrow.
You can already feel the light sensitivity setting in. It doesn’t hurt just yet as you open your door and you’re forced to be under fluorescent lights, but you can tell your tolerance is lower than usual. You offer quiet greetings to those who you pass in the hall, making your way across base to the offices. You squint a bit more, the muscles surrounding your eyes tensing. You can’t help but wonder why they use such shitty lighting in an office space.
You stop in front of a door with a name plate labeled “CPT. JOHN PRICE”, and you knock on the door a couple of times. You hear his gruff voice, saying something along the lines of come in. You open the door and close it behind yourself, looking at Price who is looking up from his paperwork; probably surrounding the last mission like yours is, too. “I feel another migraine coming on, Captain. I came to ask for the day off.” 
Price’s eyes narrow for just a moment in concern. He knows your history with migraines, and how they’re usually induced by stress. “Alright, but you make sure to go see medical if it persists, yeah?” Price says with a lifting tone, but it’s not a question, it’s an order. You go to open your mouth, but Price beats you to it. “I know they can’t do much for you, but those painkiller cocktails are very much worth it.”
You close your eyes as a wave of nausea passes over you, causing you to freeze for a moment. The man in front of you utters your name which prompts your eyes to open back up. His eyes are scanning your face. eyebrows lifting ever so slightly to prompt an answer. You press your lips together and give him a nod; those cocktails are lifesavers, but they don’t last as long as you need them to. You’re thankful for his suggestion anyway. Price gives you a firm nod. “Hope to see you tomorrow feeling better, sergeant.”
“Thank you, Captain.” You reply before leaving his office, pinching the bridge of your nose, trying to stave off that beginning twinge of pain beginning in the base of your skull.
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Something was off—Ghost could feel it in his bones. When you don’t show up for morning PT, he knows something is off, especially when for the second time in a few days, Price hands him a signed off medical emergency paper from you. It contained no details, nothing other than “1 day medical absence” signed by Price himself. It left Ghost feeling uneasy; you are not the type to do this type of thing, even when you had the seasonal flu, it was like the entire 141 had to lecture you to slow down, or maybe even rest a bit.
Ghost half expects you to show up anyway, but just like a few days ago, you are nowhere to be found. Ghost finds some free time a bit after 1500, so he makes his way towards medical. Perhaps you were physically injured? He steps into the infirmary and is met with a few pairs of eyes, a couple of them shocked to see him. “Lieutenant! How can we help you?” A medic at a cart parked against the wall asks, quickly packing up something he was doing. Ghost utters your name, glancing around. “Are they here?” He grunts.
“No, sir,” The medic replies. “They did stop by for some treatment, though.” Ghost’s eyebrows furrow for a moment; treatment? Treatment for what? Ghost doesn’t bother to ask, knowing the medics wouldn’t likely tell him anyway, so he murmurs a shirt thank you before leaving the infirmary. He racked his brain—what possibly could keep you out of commission willingly when not even a GSW would? Ghost then decides right then that he will head for your barracks.
He makes his way across base, going from the infirmary unit all the way across to the on-base barracks. Gears are turning in his head as he tries to not jump to conclusions—is there a physical injury he’s not being told about?—and Ghost is failing. You’re one of the couple of folks who don’t have a roommate, so he knocks with a purpose as there isn’t anyone else to worry about bothering. He waits for a few moments and is greeted with silence, so he knocks again with a loud and deep, “Sergeant?”
Ghost is met with silence again, which doesn’t soothe his nerves. He tries the doorknob and to his surprise—and concern—it works. Ghost slowly opens the door to find your room in complete darkness, the only light being the one from the hall which is illuminating your bed. He sees you hunched over in your bed, wrapped in your blankets with your face half buried into your pillow. Near your bed is a TV tray stand with two plastic bowls with separate washcloths hanging off of the side of the bowls. There’s an orange medicine bottle and a small white medicine bottle next to a half empty water bottle and another full unopened bottle.
Ghost closes the door behind himself as he walks over to you, narrowly avoiding the TV tray stand. He peels back the velcro of one of his gloves before removing it, pressing the back of his hand to the part of your forehead that is exposed. Your temperature feels fine at first so he turns his hand over and presses his wrist to the small part of your forehead and he receives the same result. Ghost blinks for a moment, noting that you have no fever. Immense relief floods over him; he’s not exactly sure why.
He calls your name and puts a hand on your arm, shaking you ever so slightly. You don’t move a muscle, but you’re breathing just fine. Ghost looks over at the bottles of medicine and leans over, grabbing both of them. He reads “Zaleplon” and “Rizatriptan”. With a quick google search on his phone, he finds out they are both prescribed medications, which makes his eyebrows furrow in confusion. You have prescribed medications? For sleeping and migraines? You’ve never mentioned this before.
Ghost puts them back down on the TV tray stand and he shakes your shoulder a bit more forcefully as it seems you’re really asleep. He feels bad, knowing he should just let you rest, but he doesn’t know if you’ve eaten. He has no idea if you have only drunk that one bottle of water all day, if you have left to go to the bathroom—nothing. He calls your name louder which still does not harbor a response from you, making his gut tighten once again.
He knows it’s the anxiety talking, that you would be careful with medicine, careful enough to not take too much—but he can’t help but still worry. Ghost doesn’t know that maybe you forgot you took a sleeping pill before popping another, putting you in a deeper sleep. Your breathing seems fine, so you’re definitely not struggling in that department. Maybe you’re just sleeping heavier than usual?
But what if you did take more than needed? What if this is you in the middle of an overdose? You are indeed turned over, your face halfway smushed into the pillow. That’s enough to strike anxiety into Ghost’s soul so he grabs your shoulder and forcefully rolls you onto your back, a heavy relieved sigh leaving him when he doesn’t see any vomit or excess saliva on your pillow or hoodie. Your skin is its usual color, as well as your lips. Ghost’s fingers grab your wrist to feel your pulse, counting the beats. Your heart rate is fine.
So why are you not waking up? And why is he so anxious about it?
Ghost calls your name even louder and his shoulders relax when he hears a quiet groan leave your lips. Your closed eyelids squeeze together for a moment before an expression of pain floods your face, causing Ghost to press his lips together underneath his balaclava. “There ya are,” Ghost murmurs, putting a hand on your shoulder. Your eyes flutter open and they land on Ghost after a moment. “Ghost,” You breathe out, pain lacing your tone.
The room is dark so you’re both struggling to see each other, but Ghost doesn’t mind. If it helps your head, he will gladly squint. “Have ya eaten?” He grunts out, his voice rumbling and low in his chest. You let out a tired breath and rub your eyes, taking a moment to answer. “What time is it?” You croak, your hands moving from your eyes to your temples. Ghost pulls out his phone, it being too dark to look at his watch. “1321.” He replies, making you inhale sharply and let out a groan. “Shit, didn’t mean to sleep that long.” You slur ever so slightly.
“Did’ja miss a dose?” Ghost questions, and you let out a quiet “mhm”. You hear Ghost reach over to the TV tray stand, but you can’t tell what he’s doing. You hear one of the medicine bottles pop open. His hand finds yours and gives you a pill, and then you hear the water bottle crinkle. “Up.” He orders, and you comply, sitting up just enough to take the medicine. You wince at the change in angle so easily irritates your pounding skull, but you appreciate the soothing water running down your throat. Ghost caps the water bottle and puts it back. You hear water sloshing around and one of the washcloths being wrung out, and you flinch ever so slightly when you feel a cold washcloth being tucked underneath your head and against the nape of your neck.
“When did you start ‘aving migraines?” Ghost asks. His tone isn’t accusatory, but it’s clear he’s confused on why he was never let known. He’s also your superior next to Price, looked over the necessary files. You let your eyes shut, focusing on the cold feeling seeping underneath your skin. You appreciate the man keeping his voice down. “Always had ‘em, but they’re stress induced. They aren't constant.” You reply, your voice also remaining low, barely disturbing the silence of your room. “Had one a day or two ago, guess that shit never left.” You joke, earning a huff from Ghost. “Y’didn’t answer my question. When’s the last time you have eaten?” Ghost inquires, making you let out a sigh. “Mm, maybe 4 or 5 hours ago,” You hum. “I should go grab something soon, helps the medicine kick in faster.”
Ghost shakes his head even though you can barely tell. “No need, I’ll grab it. Are you experiencing nausea?” Ghost stands up from the bed, the mattress leveling out. “A bit, yeah. Could you grab something light on the stomach?” You request, your fingers grabbing your blanket as a warm fuzzy feeling in your gut begins to distract you from the pounding in your temples. “‘Course.” And with that, Ghost leaves you with your thoughts for the time being. You don’t understand why he’s being so nice and generous—it’s not like Ghost is not nice, but he’s usually more teasing and serious about getting shit done. 
To be fair, the last time you got injured, he also took care of you. You had earned a nasty brush with death after being too close to a large explosion. You had been thrown back into a wall, crashing through the other side, earning you a broken shoulder and a piece of wood through the major artery in your thigh—as well as the classic severe concussion, of course. This happened about a year ago and when your shoulder aches, Ghost somehow knows and offers to rub cream into it. It’s similar to Soap’s knee pain, so he knows what to do. Countless nights over a year of rubbing cream into the part of your shoulder that you can’t reach, the words left unspoken between you two? 
Ghost returns with a light meal for you as well as a cup of ice water, knowing it’ll help you more than your room temperature water bottles. Something about Ghost being so domestic over this past year up to now, taking care of you and bringing you food, rubbing cream into your shoulder when needed, when he took you to those temporary physical therapy appointments for your shoulder? Something snapped inside of you and you could never look at him in the same friendly way and by the way he looks and speaks to you, it seems to be the same for him.
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kquil ¡ 3 months ago
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DIVORCING ORION BLACK | CHAPTER EIGHT
08 : PASTRIES
CHPT. SUM. : Alpahard comes for a visit and you help the Belbys run their shop while Damocles focuses on the wolfsbane potion. Everything appears to be going as planned.
LENGTH : 9.7k
TAGS : OG Walburga is a scheming bitch ; Orion is an absent and neglectful father ; Alphard is a good uncle who loves his nephews ; Reader just girl bossing it ; Ruth and Damocles are couple goals ; Reggie finally being happy and very baby
CONTENT WARNING : talks of divorce
A/N : I'm posting this now to give it a week before I post the 9th chapter on February 1st -- you'll have to excuse me if I'm a little late on that update though because I'm currently out of commission from the most horrible cold/flu I've ever had (╥﹏╥) -- please send your thoughts and prayers because I haven't had a peaceful night's sleep the last two days and I swear this impromptu post is also a part of the delirium I'm experiencing
← PREV. 07 : INVESTIGATIONS | SERIES M.LIST
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14th September 1971 | 12 Grimmauld Place
Walburga throws a fit, trapped in the abyss of your mind. She’s furious, seething from your menacing intrusions upon her life and secrets. It was frustrating and annoying beyond belief! The intricate web she had just begun to create was unravelling before her very eyes, and she could do nothing but watch! She had meant to secure a different future with her forming web; impervious to the imminent cycle of life she had witnessed that fateful day months ago. She had made one fatal mistake in all of her meticulous planning and preparation, labouring over an ancient ritual that would guarantee full obedience from her two boys. And, rather than force her mind and ideals over the thoughts and actions of her two sons before their fates began to set permanently, she was being made to fall under the thoughts and actions of another individual, you.
Being forced to watch you take over her shoes has been Walburga’s own personal hell. It’s far more painful knowing that she has no say over what you do. She’s limited to only watching, watching and agonising over her perfect plans being torn to shreds. The love and kindness you were showing her sons was unbecoming, going completely against her values on the way a mother should parent. It’s clear that you know nothing about how to raise two young boys born into the most ancient and noble house.
Walburga’s resentment grows and grows by the day. As a prisoner forced to share her identity and existence with someone who goes against her beliefs, it is unbelievably torturous. She screams ‘NO!’ and ‘STOP!’ at every offending action you take, all of which seem to be the exact opposite of her true self. Openly showing affection? Her sons will only grow clingy and burdensome. Being open to conversations? Growing boys should only speak when spoken to and not dare question the things being told to them for their own good. Cooking without magic? (Cooking at all!) There’s a house elf to fulfil that role. Thinking about your foreign behaviour has anger quickly bubbling up from her stomach. You’re so foolish!
But there was hope…
After every major fainting spell Walburga has induced, your unconscious body has left your thoughts and mind completely silent and open to her reclaim. Dwelling in the dark depths when all is silent, Walburga can feel a ticklish sensation from afar. And it only grows ever palpable after every major blackout. A wicked smirk touches her lips as she reaches forward and feels the wisps of connection between the floating space she was suspended in and the tangibility of the physical world.
One powerful, familiar thought moves her fingers a centimetre. It was small but a big step forward. The solid material she registers at the edges of her nerves -–the feeling of bedsheets atop a solid mattress— was alien in its distance and bizarre for its unfamiliar yet known sensation. It was like returning to something and your brain had yet to recognise the perception as one that was formally commonplace.
However, just as Walburga was wrapping her mind around that singular, grounding feeling, it was suddenly ripped away. Once again, she was surrounded by an empty coldness, suspended in an unfeeling space. Despite the frustration that quickly mounted inside her, it was accompanied by a resolve that plastered itself solidly in her chest, a determination to bide her time and remain patient. She will wreck terror and havoc when times are right and after she’s deteriorated your hold, she’ll regain full control once more.
It will only be a matter of time…
· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·
You wake up to a familiar scene and sigh sadly. The ringing in your head is a powerful one, an annoyance that makes the sun rays falling through the gaps of the curtains feel like a knife to your eyes. Reaching for your wand, a silent swish fills the gaps, shutting away the sun and reducing the sting in your eyes to something you can easily blink away. The curtains act like a filter for the light outside, partially bringing a soft, green radiance into the room.
At the sight of your youngest curled up against you once again, you lean down and affectionately kiss his crown, “I’m sorry, little love,” although you kept your voice to a quiet whisper, it’s enough to raise Regulus from the warm abyss of slumber. Your little prince sits up and rubs his eyes as you admire his adorable image.
“Good morning, my darling,” you comb his hair back from his tired eyes and lean close with a lowered, soft voice; an intimate moment between mother and son, “did I worry you again?” Regulus nods silently and launches himself into your arms as you apologise over and over.
The night before, Kreacher had been open about another blackout you’d experienced. And, although Regulus was grateful, he was anxious all night long. It never fails to make his heart jump to his throat. He remembers your still—far too still—body laying in bed, in a room entirely separate from his father’s. You look at peace but it wasn’t a comfort; you didn’t appear to simply be asleep, rather, you looked more deathly… he dreads to even think back on such thoughts. He’s only comforted by the sound of your steady heartbeat and soft breaths so he wastes no time in reaching for his blanket and sleeping beside you, close enough to hear the rhythm of your heart and the melody of your breathing.
“A-are you feeling sick?” that wasn’t the real question he wanted to ask, you can see the truth in his pleading, sweet eyes. Are you afflicted by some sort of incurable disease that cannot be stopped?
Regulus closes his eyes to savour the kiss you press into his forehead, “I’m perfectly healthy, my little love. Please don’t worry too much,” you pull away to cup his face tenderly in your hands and thumb over the softness of his cheeks.
“You promise?”
“I promise,” you nuzzle his nose with your own and the tense, fretful atmosphere is washed away by your shared giggles.
Kreacher soon appears with a tray of breakfast and another phial of magenta liquid. You eye the offending potion for a hard second but before you can groan, Kreacher is already lecturing you.
“Mistress must drink! Must must must!” he insists with beseeching eyes, urging the phial into your hands.
“Let me, at least, have some breakfast first, Kreacher,” you try to set aside the phial and reach for the breakfast tray instead while Regulus suppresses a laugh at the scene. He couldn’t believe his mother felt the same way about healing potions as wizarding children and newly appointed witches and wizards did. It was amusing to see a reflection of childishness in his mother, who had always been so cold and unfeeling.
“No!” Kreacher pulls the breakfast tray away from you, insistent on having you drink the potion before any food, “Potion first, Mistress!”
“FILTHY ELF! DISOBEYING COMMANDS! I TAUGHT HIM BETTER THAN THIS– LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO MY SERVANT!” Walburga’s shriek makes you wince, and Kreacher takes it as the sign to draw back and apologise for his loudness while Regulus balances comforting you and the spiralling house elf.
“Kreacher is deeply sorry, Mistress…” Kreacher suppresses his guilty thoughts in favour of his mistress’ well-being. Going into another one of his many anxious episodes won’t be helpful to you. “Please drink,” he cups his hands around your own to fold over the phial once more. His large, watery eyes, silently plead for you and lift in relief when you finally agree and down its disgusting contents.
“Thank you, Kreacher,” you smile at the elf who finally sets the breakfast tray on your lap above the covers.
“Mistress is w-w-welcome…” he stretches out the syllables of the unfamiliar word, appearing unsure over its usage but his tense shoulders immediately sag in relief as soon as he sees yours and Regulus’ kind smiles. You had been urging him to use the word for quite some time and are happy to see that he was finally confident enough to begin trying it. Hopefully, after this first try, he’ll be more confident in using it in the future. Sending you a thankful smile, Kreacher handles the empty phial and disappears after wishing you and his young master Regulus a good morning.
“Kreacher looks happy,” Regulus comments absentmindedly before taking a bite of toast. Once again, the two of you are sharing breakfast in bed and you lovingly wipe away stray crumbs from the corners of his smiling lips, “I like him even more when he’s like this!”
Melting from his sweet words and the brightness in his eyes, you nod in agreement, “Me too,”
· · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · ·
Finally out of bed and roaming the house, you notice Orion’s missing jacket from the hallway coat rack and call for Kreacher.
“Master Orion asked for his healing potion, Mistress,” Kreacher shuffles his feet and wrings the hem of his shabby clothing between his hands. It appears that he too is uncomfortable with Orion’s reappearance, although, you suppose your husband had suffered long enough. Calculating the time in your head, you resist the urge to sigh sadly. Three days. The poor fool. You hoped he would have lasted longer than that but you suppose it was fun to see him suffer while it lasted. It was karma working its best under the hand of a spiteful wife.
“I see…” you patiently search for the house elf’s eyes before asking the important question, ”Did he say ‘please’?”
After a pause, Kreacher finally nods, “Eventually, yes, Mistress,” Kreacher looks unsure, probably remembering the tense exchange he had with the patriarch, however, it’s soon swept away by your smile and gentle pat against his bald and wrinkled head.
“Well done, Kreacher,” the house elf’s ears wiggle in glee and you see a shy smile creeping up from under his long nose.
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18th September 1971 | Muggle London
“You’re excited,” you giggle at the sight of your youngest practically skipping along beside you.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen Uncle Alphard. Sirius and I always love it when he comes over,” you smile at his response, happy to know that there was an adult figure he and Sirius felt safe around; Walburga and Orion were definitely not a safe place for themdespite being their parents. “I’m happy you two aren’t fighting anymore,” although Regulus beams up at you, you couldn’t muster an equally bright smile in return. What did that mean? You were positive that Alphard only got into a serious fight with Walburga when he supported Sirius running away at 16. Perhaps this was a lead-up to that?
“Me too, dear…” For the moment, you keep your questions to yourself. The books and movies kept the relationship between the Black family rather vague so you’ll pick up the clues along the way. For now, it’s better to focus on your darling son and the precious memories you’ll make despite the modest outing to the French bakery. “What do you think we should have for afternoon tea with your uncle? Hm? I’m thinking of English breakfast,”
“That sounds great, mother!”
“And for snacks? What would you like to have on the menu?”
“Butter scones with clotted cream and strawberry jam,”
“Of course, a classic. Anything else?”
“Chouquettes, Macarons, Eclairs, Madeleines, Mille Feuille, Profiteroles!” all French baked goods.
“Goodness,” you exaggerate your reaction and smile at the light giggles it draws from Regulus, “All of our teeth will be falling out by the end. How about we include some finger sandwiches too? We can buy fresh bread and assemble them at home,”
“No crusts?” Regulus asks without hesitation and your heart warms; you love knowing he feels safe and secure enough with you to speak freely.
“It’s the only time crusts are not allowed,” you wink and silently awe at how his beaming smile seems to get even wider. Many depictions of Regulus made him a stoic and cold character but seeing his bright disposition and childish mannerisms was a delight. You prefer him like this. And you want to keep him this way forever, such a motherly sentiment. All you have to do is make sure he doesn't feel forced to abide by the toxic pureblood family rules and beliefs. Instead, you will gently nurture his interests, gently guide him whenever he feels lost and make sure he always feels supported. And you will do the same for Sirius.
Happy and content, the two of you walk into a lovely French bakery with high spirits. The warm atmosphere and welcoming fragrance of freshly baked goods leave you both enraptured and salivating at the mouth – it was hard to resist not getting a bit of everything. Together, you pick out the best-looking pastries to box up before selecting a loaf to be pre-cut and packaged for your convenience. The bakery staff were very helpful and were more than happy to oblige with every request. They also lovingly cooed over Regulus, who partially hid behind your long skirt, though this only seemed to make them all the more awed by him. His softly spoken gratitude was what had pushed them over the edge, and you could only laugh as they offered an extra macaron for him. Regulus was a very sweet boy and looked very much like a prince, so you didn’t blame them for their swooning.
“They liked me, Mother,” Regulus shyly addresses as you make your way home. He holds the wrapped-up, pre-cut loaf under one arm as his other holds onto your spare. As a gentleman, he insisted on carrying both the boxed pastries and loaf but you argued against it, insisting on wanting to hold his hand; the equally shared burden was your compromise. You think it was the best option, really — the best of both worlds.
“As they should, my baby has all the irresistible charms,” your open praise makes him shy into the folds of your skirt once more and you suppress an adoring coo.
“You really think so, Mother?”
“I know so, little love. I’m confident in this for your brother too,” you fake an exasperated sigh, “I’m going to have my hands full in the future. You two are going to be such heartbreakers, I’ll have girls constantly knocking on my door with tears in their eyes,”
Regulus giggles as he looks up from your waist, eyes sparkling from your playful antics, “I won’t do that to you Mother, I promise,”
“But it’s not about intention, you see,” you eye him with a kind smile, “when someone falls in love, they fall in love, there’s no saying ‘no’ to it. And with two very handsome, exceptional sons, well…” you let his thoughts silently complete the rest of your sentence and resist reacting to the adorable pout that forms on his lips.
“I’m very sorry, in advance, Mother,” his sincerity draws out a laugh but you’re filled with pride, regardless. Honesty is a great trait to have.
“That’s very sweet of you, thank you, darling,”
In anticipation of Alphard’s arrival, you and Regulus help Kreacher make finger sandwiches and brew the tea. The closer the time ticks to two in the afternoon, you ask Regulus to help you prep the tiered dish rack while Kreacher dresses the teapot with a tea cosy. By the time Alphard arrives via floo network, the reception room is already well prepared, clean and proudly displaying a delicious tea spread.
“Uncle Alphard!” Regulus cheers and launches himself at the square-jawed man who steps out of the green blaze, exiting your fireplace. He is smartly dressed in a black three-piece suit and polished oxford shoes. His hair is gelled back in a flattering style of frame for his handsome face — straight nose, shapely lips, piercing eyes and level brows. It makes you wonder if he was dressed in his work attire or not. Tea should be a comfortable occasion, especially when hosted by family, for family. What did he even work as?... You hardly know anything about the man, so you have to keep yourself alert to any potential hiccups you may accidentally let slip. You’re supposed to be his elder sister, after all, you should know more about him than his name.
“Good afternoon, Regulus,” Alphard grins at his nephew after visibly shaking off his shock. Never before had he seen his youngest nephew so high-spirited. Their greetings were also usually much more formal than this, distant and dispassionate. This type of behaviour was strongly discouraged by his sister, so the sudden change was rather suspicious. Alphard, however, wanted to believe in Regulus’ sincerity for the sake of such a sweet boy. He instinctively looks around for Sirius but remembers all too quickly that the eleven-year-old was in Hogwarts for his first year, hence the primary topic of his arrival.
“Welcome, younger brother,” you smile warmly at him, ignoring the look of surprise that he doesn’t attempt to cover up. At least he manages to dip his head in a hesitant nod of acknowledgement, “Let's head to the reception then shall we? Orion won’t be joining us, I’m afraid,” you don’t see it but Alphard releases a muted sigh of relief, easily veiling his real emotions by smiling warmly at Regulus, who walks close beside him.
All furniture that occupies the reception room stylistically matches one another. They’re all made of dark walnut wood, embellished with elegant silver accents and dark green leather. The central table has a dark leather sofa on one side and two grandfather chairs with swirling arms on the other. There’s a decorative fireplace on one side of the room with a drab oil painting hanging above the mantle and the only light source is from the open window, occupying the far right wall upon entering.
“Can I sit next to Uncle, Mother?” Regulus politely asks, not wanting to separate from his uncle but also not wanting to make you feel excluded.
“You can sit wherever you wish, little love,” you smile softly, sitting in an armchair and watching as Regulus eagerly pulls Alphard to sit on the sofa with him. Your youngest is already chatting his uncle’s ear off about the snacks featured on the tiered dish rack. This then led him to talk about your morning visit to the bakery, where he had charmed the staff to offer an extra macaron.
They ‘really liked him’ and now his ‘mother is very worried’, why? Because he’ll ‘become a heartbreaker one day’. Alphard listened intently, still shocked but eager to listen to his nephew who he had never seen so bright and secure. Every few seconds, however, Alphard would look towards you for signs of any rising anger or frustration, compounding into an explosive outburst. He was familiar with that. He was familiar with your disapproval. However, there wasn’t a single trace of any negative emotion on your countenance. Rather, your eyes were full of affection and warmth, directed at Regulus while sipping your tea, silently listening to their exchange. Never before had he seen his eldest sister look so… content.
Pausing for breath, Regulus finally remembers the occasion and flushes adorably. His face is much rounder, healthier looking, Alphard notices and is shocked when you allow him to have a small plate to pile on his share of the delicious selection of goodies on the tiered dish. The majority of which were rather sweet to taste. He didn’t know his sister to be one who encouraged the regular consumption of sugar because you would only allow it for special occasions such as Yule and birthdays. Not wanting to startle his nephew, however, Alphard bites his tongue and distracts his racing thoughts by pouring his tea.
“Milk and sugar?” Alphard asks, bewildered at the options freely offered on the coffee table. You had long forbidden milk and sugar to be part of afternoon tea after finding how his tastes had affected your two sons’ preferences.
“Of course,” you voice as if he had been crazy to question you, “everyone is free to make their tea however they wish,”
Alphard follows Regulus’ lead and freely makes his tea… just the way he likes it. With lots of sugar and lots of milk. If you were going to test him, he was going to test you right back and readily anticipate your outward, shrieking protests. However, there were no shrill screeches or ear-splitting lectures over how muted, milky and sugary he liked to have his tea. Rather, Alphard, heard you giggle. His older sister. Giggling? The world must be coming to a terrifying end! Slack-jawed he looks up and stares wide-eyed at your cheerful smile.
“I see you and Regulus have similar preferences in tea,” Alphard shares a sheepish look with his nephew, “How refreshing. It makes me wonder how good it must taste for the both of you to enjoy tea the way you do,” another giggle.
Regulus happily offers his cup, “You can try some of mine if you want, Mother,” Smiling at his nephew’s kindness, Alphard is even more awed by your drastic change in behaviour.
“That’s very sweet of you, little love, thank you. But, how’s about I finish my cup first and I’ll see about having a sip of yours if you have any left?”
“Alright!”
The happy atmosphere wasn’t something Alphard was used to, especially not from his older sister. However, he was grateful for his nephew’s happy disposition. His sister’s strict education and harsh manner of child-rearing left plenty of room for worry but, no matter what seems to have changed, provided that his nephews stay happy and safe, Alphard would happily keep his many questions to himself. Perhaps this was maternal instincts finally taking over. He dare not interrupt by drawing attention to it.
When there’s a lull in the conversation and everyone takes a sip of their tea or a bite of their selected treat, you begin to investigate the relationship between the original Walburga and Alphard. You weren’t impervious to Alphard’s shocked expressions in your periphery; admittedly, it was admirable of him not to make a scene out of his staggering surprise at your ‘odd’ behaviour. It’s fair for him to believe you’re still his original, bigoted sister. You can only speculate that he wasn’t drawing attention for Regulus’ sake and you admire him for that.
“Alphard,” he hums in acknowledgement, setting down his cup and reaching for a madeleine, “how is your work?” your question makes him visibly freeze up but the moment he realises Regulus is watching, he smoothly eases back into normal, less robotic motions.
“It’s been well,” you can tell he wants to leave it at that, satisfied to leave the topic there. However, you were not and kept silent, quietly pushing him into answering further, “...the office has been operating normally. My client is dealing with a relatively common case of discrimination based on pregnancy at the workplace,” he’s a solicitor then. And practising mostly in employment law, it seems. “And before you say anything about women needing to better plan their pregnancies and how a woman needs to be at home with her husband rather than working, I want to remind you of the company,” his voice is firm and he’s plainly referring to Regulus being present, therefore dubbing the subject matter sensitive. However, his insinuations on the original Walburga’s dogmatist beliefs make you visibly disgusted and it pulls on his interest. Never had he seen his sister look so abhorrent to the views he knew she supported.
“I wasn’t going to say anything of the sort. I appreciate that you’re doing good work for the people who need it—”
“Even for a half Veela?”
“Everyone deserves to be fairly represented in a court of law, dear brother. And please don’t interrupt me again, Regulus should find quality, male influence in his uncle, please demonstrate the appropriate, good manners for him,” Alphard is surprised by your sharp eyes and firm demand. You had always been demanding but never to this degree, never to such a reasonable degree, and never without raising your voice. Yet, your voice has remained level, only adjusting for firmness.
How odd… Alphard doesn’t know whether to laugh mockingly at your hypocrisy or dare to feel hope for the positive change he’s beginning to see in his sister.
“...I apologise,” Alphard nods to you before turning to Regulus, “I didn’t set a good example Reg, I’m sorry,”
“It’s okay Uncle,” Regulus beams up at him, happy to be referred to by the affectionate nickname his uncle hadn’t been able to call him in many months.
“Why not ‘Reggie’?”
“I’m sorry?” Alphard looks genuinely perplexed by the change in behaviour. You had always strongly reprimanded him for daring to call your sons by any affectionate nicknames as you wanted your boys to stay faithful to their full birth name — it was a source of pride, after all. To be named after the stars and be in the most ancient and noble house, their names were sacred and it was a mockery to shorten despite it being done with affection. But now you were supporting it?
“‘Reggie’ is a cuter nickname,”
“Reg is good— cute enough, it’s short and sweet,”
“But Reggie is cuter than Reg,”
“Both are cute,”
“...Reggie is cuter, though,”
“Let’s agree to disagree. I will keep calling him Reg and you call him Reggie,” the boy in question was a healthy shade of red now. For a lighthearted argument to centre around him like this wasn’t what he anticipated happening but he was happy to see his mother and uncle getting along harmoniously. Not once have they raised their voices or forced the other to leave the room in a huff. This was nice… Sirius would have really liked this. Maybe Regulus should send another letter, even if his brother has yet to reply to his previous one.
“What nickname do you call Sirius?” you ask, voice soft and eager to continue the topic of your sons. This was another new side Alphard was seeing to you, his usually cold and unfeeling sister had never been one to perpetuate gossip surrounding her sons, and yet, now you were so eager to— and on a topic that is so innocuous and unproductive. But it was a good change, one that he’s sure will be a good influence on his beloved nephews.
“Siri,”
“That’s perfect,” you smile into the lip of your teacup and sip, “we can agree on that front,” Alphard actually manages to chuckle and nod along. He had prepared himself for a harsh and loud argument, not this but he dare not complain; this was a very pleasant surprise. He even dares to feel confident in re-addressing a long taboo topic.
“...You feel I do good work as an employment lawyer?” he begins, hesitant, his hands beginning to shake. The suddenly nervous man opts to set his cup down and wipe the sweat from his hands along his trouser-covered thighs.
“Of course,” you wonder where the conversation is going.
“And what of my extracurriculars too?” he avoids your eyes and your mind flashes with a memory of a young Alphard nervously standing before his elder sister, his small hands curled into fists on his knee-length shorts. This man is your younger brother now. However, you can’t help but think that Walburga cared deeply for him despite their strained relationship, judging from the fond memory that had flashed behind your blinking eyelids. In the depths of your mind, you imagine she still likens him to his much younger, toddler self, an endearing but common trait in an older sister.
“Extracurriculars?”
“My voluntary work with the less fortunate, typically with other magical beings,”
You frown when you finally realise what had caused the strain between brother and sister. Walburga had belittled and strongly protested against a man who only did good. A man of justice. This was the man who favoured Sirius in the original timeline because they shared the same sense of justice and the need to rebel against their bigoted family.
“I’m sorry Alphard,” you look into his eyes with such sincerity that Alphard feels as though he could cry. He had grown up admiring his sister but the instant he had begun to think for himself and see the unfairness of her skewed views, he swears he had felt his first ever heartbreak. His sister, who he had loved and admired so much, who he thought of as an amazing person was not who he thought she was and the revelation was earth-shattering. It broke his heart all the more when he saw his younger brother Cygnus follow in her footsteps. “I’m sorry for all the past unsavoury comments I said to you about your profession, and on what you have chosen to do with your life and beliefs. I was wrong, the way I thought of the world was wrong. I’m truly sorry for who I was before. And I want to assure you that I am no longer that person. I think what you’re doing is truly wonderful and this world needs more people like you in it. My boys need a good uncle like you to help raise them with good values and sense for the world,”
Alphard looks at Regulus, eyes wide with shock, his mind reeling and needing something to ground him, to confirm that the shock he was feeling was reasonable, but to hope for the best and to trust in his sister’s words again was feeling too much at that moment. All he needed was Regulus’ reassuring smile, and that was exactly what his young nephew faced him with, as if to say ‘It’s alright uncle, you can rest assured now,’.
“Why….” Alphard slowly turns his attention back to you, “why did you change your mind?”
You smile to yourself, “For my sons, of course. They deserve the world, the least I can do is be a good mother to them,
“You’re the best mother in the world!” Regulus protests as your eyes humbly close.
“Let’s not lie to ourselves and completely forget what has happened. I have hurt many people with the way I used to act, for believing in the things I used to believe. What’s worse is that I have hurt those most dear to me and those who I should have taken better care of… I’m very sorry Alphard, I don’t think I’ll be able to express how truly apologetic I am. It wasn’t right of me to hurt you that way,”
Blinking back tears, Alphard musters a crooked smile, his voice slightly shaky but his heart light and chest warm, “Apology accepted, dear sister,”
“You said you wanted to talk about something important, little brother?” you wanted to move on from the topic, but Alphard no longer knew if he had the right to express his worry. After witnessing your change in demeanour first-hand, the weight on his shoulders was finally lifted, and his chest didn’t feel so heavy.
“...after the sorting ceremony, I was worried about Sirius and Regulus – they are my nephews, after all. I wasn’t confident in their safe treatment at home,” Regulus looks to his uncle with an appreciative smile, earning an affectionate ruffle of his hair.
Smiling softly, you take his implicit criticism with grace. It wasn’t even your doing but you move forward with it anyway, “thank you for worrying about them but, as I said, I am a changed woman,”
Alphard smiles into his teacup and hums in contentment, “I can see that… I’m glad – you’re also no longer against my profession and my extracurriculars. The moment you accepted my request to come over for tea, I was somewhat relieved but getting to see your change myself was even more of a relief,”
“I’m sorry again, for the past. I don’t know what on earth was the matter with me,” your slight jab at the original Walburga has the witch throwing a muted tantrum in the back of your mind. It’s quite hard to resist smiling wickedly at how easy it is to rile her up.
“No matter…the past is in the past,” Regulus nods and readily agrees.
“I’m really happy Sirius got into Gryffindor. In his letters, he says how happy and at home he feels there,” Regulus’ eyes shine with such pride, it was easy to smile with him. Alphard is comforted by the thought of his eldest nephew having a good start away from home and, atop that, being supported by his mother and brother. He holds no hope for Orion however, many of those in the family have heard of his inappropriate behaviour at Hogwarts. It was unbecoming from the patriarch of the most ancient and noble house. That was why many assumed why he had not made any public appearances at the Wizengamot for a few days, using sickness as an excuse in his letters to the office.
“Which Hogwarts house would you like to join, Reg?” Alphard asks, curious. Judging from your displays of changed temperament and child-rearing, he assumes and hopes his youngest nephew no longer admires the idea of going to Slytherin as he’s known his sister and Orion to have ceaselessly enforced onto the two.
Growing shy, Regulus looks to his lap and picks at his fingernails nervously, “I don’t know… as long as I’m happy and feel at home, that’s all that matters, right, Mother?” Regulus looks to you for assurance and smiles when you nod with fondness in your eyes. A slight tension leaves Regulus’ small shoulders immediately and he settles back into the sofa with a silent sigh of repose, Alphard following closely behind his nephew. What a relief.
The interactions and conversations with you have been quite a shock but in the most pleasant sense. Alphard no longer felt his fingers tensing at the thought of writing a letter to his eldest nephew. They had already exchanged some letters and Alphard was concerned that the assurance within Sirius’ written words was nothing but something to cover up the tensions at home from his sorting ceremony. What a relief to know that it was all true. Sirius did feel happy, he did feel supported and he did miss home. If Alphard’s own mother acted the way you did, with soft affection, fond eyes and a warm touch, he would miss home too.
Light conversation and the peaceful atmosphere continued until Regulus had to do his scheduled piano practice. Regulus politely excused himself while Alphard stared in wide-eyed confusion and awe as another miracle played out before him: you showing open affection for your son by kissing his forehead in front of company before he promptly left for his piano. A silence draws out as you wait for the distant sounds of piano playing to continue your conversation. This time, however, you aim to finally put your central plan into action, one that you were finally seeing the answers to when Alphard revealed his profession.
“What do you specialise in as a solicitor again?” you begin.
“Employment law, sometimes corporate and civil law too,” Alphard states nonchalantly, closely examining your face, his heart beating faster at the implications of your lack of a strong reaction. He supported the change in you but you can tell that he has yet to fully believe in the dream world that was playing out before him.
At the sudden look of worry on your features, Alphard leans forward with concern, “What’s wrong?"
Sighing heavily, you set down your teacup and lean back, "Do you know anyone working in Family law?”
“Naturally…” he answers, his silence carrying a question as he stares at you with a raised brow.
“I want a marital separation from Orion… and I want to take the kids – it’s not safe for them here with him around,”
Alphard nods and immediately begins to hatch a plan. It was a natural mode of work he had refined throughout his years as a solicitor, “I don’t blame you for wanting to leave…and I think I may know of someone who you can talk to. They’re a half-blood specialising in family law, who actively pushes for similar laws being passed for muggles to be transitioned into the wizarding world,”
That sounded like the perfect lawyer for you, “I would really appreciate that Al, thank you,” you say the nickname without thinking and are ready to rush out an apology but stop in surprise when you see the warm smile on Alphard’s face.
“You haven’t called me Al in years… you must really want to leave your husband,” he teases, trying to distract from his choked-up voice and tear-filled eyes. You laugh airily and nod as he joins, the happy atmosphere contagious between you. This was the type of relationship Alphard had always wanted with his sister. It was a shame that it only came about now when you’re actively experiencing rough times at home with Orion.
Before leaving, Alphard goes to Regulus, momentarily interrupting his piano practice to say goodbye. His youngest nephew insists on escorting him to the fireplace with you to properly wave him off and he doesn’t protest. That was the first time Regulus had ever seen his mother and uncle wave goodbye happily, sharing a warm smile and promising to see each other again soon.
This would definitely be worth writing another letter to Sirius.
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6th October 1971 | Belby’s Potions and Ingredients
“Thank you again for helping out my husband and me,” Ruth smiles softly at you, setting aside her embroidery momentarily, not wanting to draw too much attention to her weak, shaking hands.
“It’s not a problem at all,” you look over to where Regulus’ legs were sticking out from where he sat examining some bottled potions, unable to help your smile as you and Ruth sat behind the counter together, “I’m only sorry I couldn’t come sooner. I’m afraid I can’t trust Regulus to be home alone even with his tutor Peony as a deterrent,” Ruth’s brows furrow at the implication of your words and reaches for your hand as a silent comfort. It isn’t the right time to pry into your home life, Regulus was such a happy child and she knows it’s all because of you; you’re doing your best to protect him as a mother should and that was good enough to you it seemed. In the meantime, she’s satisfied with offering a quiet consolation.
“You’re doing more than enough,” the two of you share a small, knowing smile and you thank the gods for Ruth’s kind and gentle disposition. It’s been rather lonely despite you having the best sons to look after. You’ve often found yourself aching for a friendship and you’re confident you’ve found one in Ruth.
“Thank you, Ruth,”The shop bell rings as a customer strolls in and greets you at the counter, “Good afternoon, do you happen to have any dried nettles?” you greet the man kindly and readily offer your help.
“You can find them in the second aisle down and can have your pick between whole leaves or the powdered sort,” you helpfully offer your guidance while Ruth returns to her embroidery.
The man thinks to himself for a moment, “Which would be more effective for umm…curing boils?” he looks rather bashful at the confession but you provide no judgment. Thinking for a moment and giving Damocles’ simplified shop notes a look through, you finally give the anxious man his answer.
“Both are equally effective. Only the crushed nettles mean for a quicker brewing time as they will turn the potion green much quicker,” the man nods along to your suggestions, eyes slightly shifty, probably eager to brew his boil curing potion at home, “Or you can purchase the potion itself, and save yourself the trouble,” a relieved laugh escapes the man.
“I’ll go for that then!”
“You’ll find the potion on the back wall, it should be blue,” he nods eagerly and thanks you before rushing to the back wall of the shop.
“Goodness, you’re a natural potions shopkeeper,” Ruth giggles beside you, her eyes tired but full of life.
“Why thank you, madam,” you bow at the waist exaggeratedly and grin, “I’ve actually been reading up on some potion books so that I can be of some help for Damocles,” Ruth tucks her chin in and bashfully avoids your eyes.
“It’s so very kind of you to help someone like me,”
“None of that,” you tut and hold her hand in the same comforting way she had held yours mere moments ago, “You are not allowed to refer to yourself in such a way, you hear?” Ruth is hesitant but nods anyway. You guess it’s her attempt at not causing a fuss but you’ll accept it.
The man returns with the boil curing potion at hand and the purchase is done smoothly. You have to hand it to the glamour you placed on yourself; without it, you’re sure many customers would leave without so much as taking more than two steps in the door — you wouldn’t have been any help to the Belbys at all. Wanting to protect Regulus’ identity as well, you’ve also fixed him with a glamour too and ensured you still look like mother and son.
“I see that you’re looking rather well despite it being only one day after the full moon,” you comment, brightening Ruth’s expression with a smile.
“Damocles is incredible!” her eyes sparkle as she talks proudly of her husband’s achievements, “The recent changes he’s made to the potion have made it so that I don’t feel as anxious during my time under so I don’t feel as mentally exhausted atop being physically drained. I think he said something about a stone. A wishing stone?”
You hum and nod in understanding, “the moonstone then,” she confirms with a soft gasp of remembrance, “That’s wonderful news, Damocles must be really happy,”
“Yes, but he is not yet satisfied…” she huffs and scowls, however, her delicate features don’t make the emotion appear quite as menacing on her face; she makes it look rather sweet actually, “I swear that man adores being sleep deprived and overworked. It’s worrying…”
“Maybe that’s his real aim,” you wink at her perplexed appearance, “I’m sure it’s healing to the soul for a man to experience his beautiful wife’s sincere worries for his well being,”
Ruth blushes a deep red and looks away, but you still manage to see the smile playing on her lips, “oh you!” The two of you giggle together as Regulus comes bounding over with a grin on his face, holding up a small sprig of dried lavender that’s tied together at the stems with a rough string.
“Mother, this smells lovely, you should smell it too,” he holds up the lavender and watches eagerly as you lean on the counter to smell it.
“You’re right, it smells very soothing,”
“I want our house to smell like it,”
“Oh? That’s easily done,” you turn to Ruth with a smile, “would it be okay to purchase your entire stock?”
Ruth’s jaw drops, “You want our entire stock? B-But that’s so costly!” if Ruth’s jaw could have dropped any lower, it would have dropped to the floor when you merely shrugged your shoulders. As if buying an entire stock of one ingredient didn’t put a dent on your finances.
“We have a rather big house and Reggie wants our whole house to smell like lavender, so we need everything you have,”
Regulus smiles as you both turn to him, “It really is a very nice smell,” Ruth can’t say no to you both and smiles gratefully. She knows your hidden motive. You were already helping the couple so much but you couldn’t just stop there, you also had to purchase from them too.
“May I, at least, offer a family friend discount?” Ruth barters and watches as you turn to Regulus to ask for his opinion.
“Should we accept, Reggie?” you tilt your head thoughtfully, “Should we accept paying less for this hard-working couple’s labour?” Regulus shakes his head ‘no’.
“That wouldn’t be fair Mother, nor polite,”
“Spoken like a true gentleman,” Regulus beams up at you and Ruth awes at the young boy’s innocence, “How is my son so well mannered?” it was supposed to be a teasing remark but Regulus, accustomed to your teasing now, is quick to reciprocate with his own.
“It's because I have you, Mother!”
“Oh!” you heat up at the cheeks, “I think I’ve taught you some bad habits, Reggie,” Regulus doesn’t deny the statement and laughs with Ruth at your flustered expression.
Once Damocles finally decides to take a break from brewing in the back room and analysing his previous notes, he sits beside Ruth and leans his head against her shoulder. But not before softly kissing her cheek. It was a timely break as no customers came to purchase anything and there was a quiet lull in the shop’s activities. Wanting to give the couple some privacy, you take the time to go on a small mission with Regulus, similar to the bakery run you did for his uncle Alphard. This time, however, those baked goodies will be for Ruth and Damocles. They both deserve some good tea and snacks. You try not to take too long and opt for only a small collection of pastries, some sweet and some savoury as you don’t know their preferences.
“I hear you’re purchasing our entire stock of lavender without our prestigious family-friend discount,” Damocles presses as soon as you and Regulus return, avoiding the temptation of the pastries you had brought back.
“The lavender smells really nice,” Regulus explains, “and I thought it would be good for the house to smell like it,”
“Precisely, Damocles,” you grin when you see the potioneer’s eyes soften at your youngest’s beaming smile. “I only want to fulfil my Reggie’s wishes. And I also agree that the lavender smells lovely,”
“A-at least let us offer the discounted price,“ he’s almost pleading.
“Nonsense,” you huff and cross your arms with slightly narrowed eyes, though not too threatening, “are you saying I can’t afford to pay full price?”
“O-of course not, Lady—”
“Then I’m paying full price and that's final.”
Damocles falls back into the chair you had once occupied as Ruth comfortingly rubs his shoulder, “I told you it was no use arguing, dear,”
“I suppose not…” Damocles looks at you with searching eyes before huffing a laugh and shaking his head. “Alright then, since you’re so insistent,”
“Wonderful! Now, you two need to eat, I’ll brew some tea in the back. Do you like French Earl Grey?” you ask, moving to the backdoor as Damocles lifts Regulus onto the counter.
“We don’t have french earl grey?”
“I bought you some while I was out,” the couple shake their heads in disbelief once more before Regulus pulls away their attention by running through the collection of goodies you’d both purchased. The French early grey you had brewed was a new taste to the couple, but it wasn’t an unpleasant one.
“Is that rose?” Ruth asks with wondrous eyes as Damocles smiles beside her, lovingly admiring her sweet expression.
“Yes, french early grey adds rose petals to the blend. Do you like it?”
“Very much,” Ruth beams and takes another long, savouring sip while Damocles leans over and whispers that it’s one of her favourite essences to have in anything palatable.
“And she loves Turkish delight,”
You can tell that Damocles didn’t want to take a break for too long, his eyes often drifting to his backroom door and his fingers twitching uneasily on his lap. If it weren’t for Ruth, you don’t think he would have allowed himself to finish his tea or his pastry. But thanks to his loving wife, he was willing to reach for a second and third pastry. The entire time, Damocles was drawn all the more to her, often checking her likeness for the pastries she wanted to try in the small spread, even offering her several bites of his own. He also worried often for her health and well being, always being the first to jump in making her feel more comfortable, either by fetching a blanket to keep her fragile frame warm or pillows to keep her posture upright. They’re truly a match made in heaven, you’ve never seen a more compatible pair. And you’re happy Regulus was a witness to it all. Seeing their close bond and equally loving dynamic would help enforce in his mind what healthy relationships look like.
“When you finish your break and before you return to brewing, may I have a word in private with you, Damocles?” you ask, partway through your pleasant tea break.
“Of course,”
As you step aside with Damocles, he’s already launching into an oration of gratitude. There’s clear appreciation in his eyes and stance as well as his words. “I’ve been able to get a hold of ingredients I couldn’t even dream of working with. I can’t even begin to express how life-changing your help is to both me and Ruth, thank you. I actually have some hope that I can manage to pull this off,” he laughs to himself humbly, in disbelief of his own words.
“I have full faith in you, Damocles. I know you can do it, the boundless love you have for your wife will ensure that you succeed,” he blushes slightly at your words but doesn’t deny anything.
“I haven’t been able to send you the updated reports yet, would you like to take the duplicate notes from my lab?”
“I’d appreciate that but I have something I want to talk to you about first,” Damocles nods, reminded of your earlier request and the reasoning behind it, “I just wanted to ask what you plan on doing after you’re successful with the potion,”
His voice goes quiet but his smile is beaming, “You really have that much faith in me?”
“Yes, I do,” your voice is stern as the potioneer’s eyes grow slightly distant, looking over your shoulder where Ruth is happily chatting with Regulus, who remains seated atop the counter still in his glamours, “You’re the only other person who’s believed in me so strongly other than my wife– not even my own family…”
You pat his shoulder comfortingly, “You’re an incredible potioneer and you adore your wife, I know you’ll go through the ends of the earth for her alone, you can make this potion work for her,”
Damocles nods with a grateful smile and finally answers your earlier question, “In all honesty, I haven’t given it much thought… the natural direction I’d go with the potion would be to present my findings to the ministry so that it may be mass-produced and given to werewolves in need of it,”
You’re shaking your head in disagreement before he could even finish his thoughts, “I strongly argue against that,” your words strike confusion in the potioneer. He’s sure his findings would prove helpful to many werewolves and you can see the belief in his eyes but do your best to convince him otherwise. It’s important that he knows where you stand in all this so that you bring him to the same level and see eye to eye on the matter.
“Do you know about the werewolf code of conduct?”
“Yes, of course,”
“It requires registering as a werewolf to the ministry and vowing to never bite any innocents and locking yourself away during every transformation,” you begin to explain, gauging where his knowledge stands.
“I know that,”
“And do you know anyone who happily registered as a werewolf to the ministry?” Damocles can’t answer confidently, rather, he stays silent. “Did Ruth register? Would you like her to?”
“…N-no…” Damocles hated that he couldn’t trust in the ministry but they‘ve proven nothing when it comes to the protection and fair treatment of other magical creatures, especially werewolves.
“I know the plan I want to carry out will only further perpetuate the stigma against werewolves and lycanthropy but the ministry has already proven that they cannot be trusted or relied upon in the matters of lycanthropes. I am, at least, confident in providing some help, do you trust me?”
“I trust you,” his voice doesn’t waver and you smile.
“You’ll be sacrificing a great reward, I’m afraid,”
“How so?”
“Surely discovering a treatment for lycanthropy will grant you an Order of Merlin as a reward…”
“I don’t care, so long as my wife is safe and happy and as long as we can actually help people like her, I’m willing to follow your plan,” as before, his voice doesn’t waver and you’re confident in his words. He’s a good man.
“Then it shall be!” you share a firm handshake. If only Harry had met an adult as capable and reliable as Damocles… you’re sure he wouldn’t require such dependence in the future, however, not in the future you’ll be creating, at least. And you’ll make sure of the same for his parents and all their friends —- all characters you love and wish only the best for. And it’ll all start with your two beautiful sons.
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9th October 1971 | 12 Grimmauld Place
Tucked away in your home office, you look over the notes you’ve made on your current plans, avoiding the pages you’ve filled with notes on the secret parlour only for the Black family ladies’ use. You know it’s something you’ll need to confront very soon, in the meantime, however, you were perfectly occupied by current projects you were hard at work on.
Damocles sent you the report he duplicated from his most recent findings and Ruth’s improved condition following the full moon. Not only was he a loving and dedicated man with a passion for potion making, but he was also brilliant in his report writing. He kept his notes concise and easy to read by providing clear categories of the specific things he wanted to track. From your side of the research, reading up on potions from the Black family library, you had written him a letter back with suggestions on how to make the potion more potent. One such suggestion was his use of the Mandragora, Mandrakes. Rather than mandrake leaves, you encouraged him to use the body of a mandrake instead. It’s a little pricier than just the leaves, but it was nothing you couldn’t afford. The dragon blood was something you were having trouble with, however. It wasn’t cheap, and, having to look ahead at the wolfsbane potion’s mass production, dragon’s blood would be an annoying ingredient to include financially. So you promised to look for alternatives that might be able to give the same effect. You were even willing to look into ‘muggle’ books for a potential alternative.
After securing Damocles’ opinion following the future success of his wolfsbane potion and having some back and forth with Alphard on the family lawyer, he had been easing into setting up a meeting with you; you’ve started looking at properties all over the UK. You have a good idea of what you want to look for. However, the primary, most important criteria for these properties to have were that they don’t belong to the Black family. And so, you neglect the wizarding properties completely and look into muggle properties instead. The price wouldn’t matter, although you wanted to secure a separate line of income first so that Orion remains unsuspecting of your efforts to escape him; you don’t want any additional tensions happening at home, especially with Regulus still here. As soon as Regulus begins to attend Hogwarts, however, you’ll finally put things into action. Until then, you have a little under a year, which you hope will be good enough.
A squeaky pop shifts the air to your right, and Kreacher appears with a tray of tea and biscuits, “Mistress’ tea is ready,” he presents with a smile, wordlessly making the arrangement float up and make a home for itself atop an unoccupied portion of your desk. Smiling at the house elf, you nod in thanks and express your gratitude. Wanting to appease you further, he gestures to his big ears and informs you of an owl that sounds to be arriving very soon. With a nod and a soft word of gratitude, you walk to your window and open it up in anticipation of the delivery.
Sirius’ owl was the first to arrive and you figure it’s a response to one of Regulus’ many letters. Seeing your eldest son’s familiar handwriting addressing the letter to his little brother makes you smile, and urges you to write him one soon as well. Thanking the sweet barn owl, you offer her a perch and kindly ask Kreacher to fetch it some feed as a reward. The second owl that arrives is much smaller and carries a package as well as a letter. The parcel is only small and its wrappings are a buff brown, held together with some twine. The letter is addressed to you and you have a pretty good idea of what it may be.
You give the letter a quick read-through and smile with a nod before opening the small package to reveal a golden band. Its inner face is engraved with runes, and it easily fits onto your pointer finger. Before returning to your desk, you give the small owl a bowl of feed as a reward, too. Seated back at your desk, you pour yourself some tea and take a generous drink with the ring still on your pointer finger.
“Mmmm~” you hum in satisfaction, “tastes like strawberries,” It’s been a few weeks and those two have already made such amazing progress. You expect nothing less from the same two people who were able to enchant Sirius’ protection pin. Unfortunately, you weren’t able to rope in the goblins to craft this ring. It’s only a simple design because it’s the prototype but you plan on making a more decorative line of these to sell. For now, you have yet to test it against an actual potion but you dread to think about waiting for another blackout to do so. With a thoughtful hum, you return to your office and place the letter at the centre of your desk, planning to write a response later on. For now, you’ll deliver Sirius’ letter to Regulus —you’re sure he and Peony won’t mind the interruption and that he’ll be happy to receive Sirius’ response.
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NAVI. | SERIES M.LIST | NEXT. 09 : REPUTATION →
A/N : I'm so sorry, my darlings, for taking so long to update this series (ó﹏ò。) I know I promised monthly updates but with Christmas and then New Year straight after, I was pretty occupied (⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝) Nevertheless, I hope you lovelies enjoyed this chapter!ヾ(。✪ω✪。)シ I promise there will be more of Sirius in the next chapter since we hardly had any of our baby in this one 
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adore-laur ¡ 1 year ago
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DAD HARRY BLURB
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With chopsticks perched between his fingertips, Harry distractedly picked at the steaming bowl of spicy chow mein noodles resting in his lap. The bright glow coming from the TV screen was the only illumination in the living room, and his tired eyes were glued to some nature documentary about snow monkeys. Beyond the curtains was a pitch-black sky. The ocean waves outside were calm. Inside, a steady noise came from the humidifier. The ambiance was ideal for a good night's sleep, but your hyperactive mind made it a futile endeavor.
In the dead of night, your cheek found a cozy position on Harry's shoulder—it was sturdy, warm, and the collector of your tears. He was the one you leaned on most in the last nine months, when exhaustion and exasperation pounded into your bones. To quell your discomfort, he massaged your swollen feet with attentive precision, shaved your legs when you couldn't see anything below your baby bump, adjusted to your hormonal mood swings with empathy, and cooked your favorite meals when getting out of bed felt like a chore. Above all, he made you feel beautiful each time your body changed. And as those changes came quickly and ruthlessly, he let it be known that his attraction to you wasn't fading. Not in the slightest.
In fact, it seemingly grew tenfold the moment you told Harry you were pregnant. You noticed his gaze lingering on your body more often, with an obsessive hunger darkening his irises. Throughout your pregnancy, he paid special attention to the widening shape of your hips, the heaviness of your breasts, and the blooming swell of your stomach. He documented the progression by taking weekly side-view pictures of your bump. He also wrote down milestones in his journal, like when the baby first kicked and where he had been when he found out the gender.
The obsession went both ways. With your zany hormones, you were more attracted to Harry than ever. It was borderline insane how often you wanted to jump his bones. He gained some sympathy weight and let his hair grow out. He embraced his stubble, which was a weakness of yours since you first started dating him. Most tempting was how seriously he prepared himself for fatherhood—building the crib with his bare hands, deep cleaning the house to show his appreciation, reading parenting books and asking you to quiz him on the content, and simply doting on you when you weren’t feeling like the best version of yourself. Needless to say, you were insatiable around him, and he gladly entertained your desires with an equal amount of fervor. The flame of romance was never snuffed out.
When the documentary ended, you rubbed your eyes and sighed. Anxiety about knowing the baby could come any minute had made you an insomniac, hence the midnight TV and leftovers session with your husband, who was also itching for something to happen. You both were getting a head start on sleep deprivation, at least—not that it was something to brag about.
At almost forty-one weeks pregnant, your baby girl was taking her sweet time. The obstetrician had said you would have to be induced if nothing progressed in two days. While holed up in the house, waiting for the first sign of labor, you and Harry had tried everything to try to kickstart the process—walking along the beach, eating spicy food like the chow mein Harry cooked tonight, and even desperate rounds of sex every morning since your due date passed. Nothing worked, causing frustration to build on both ends. The hospital bags were packed and waiting by the front door, and impatience gnawed away at your sanity every time you looked at them.
"Gotta pee," you said, sitting up with a groan. Your lower back ached, one of the many reasons why sleeping soundly was so unachievable.
Harry offered you his hand without a second thought, giving you leverage to get off the couch. The motion left you winded as you slowly waddled to the bathroom just down the hall, blindly touching the walls before reaching the light switch. You flicked it on, your eyes squinting against the harsh ceiling light. In the mirror above the sink, you stared at your reflection. Harry's shirt he lent you when your clothes no longer fit was stretched awkwardly over your stomach. You forewent wearing pants around the house because you simply couldn't be bothered. Altogether, you looked as miserable as you felt. As much as you were terrified to give birth, you just wanted to get it over with so you didn't have to feel so on edge all the time.
After emptying your bladder, you washed your hands and then stretched your back by resting your forearms on the sink and bending forward. Through the aches, you thought about Harry and how he had politely demanded the baby to come out yesterday, speaking to your bump in a hushed voice like it was a secret conversation between the two of them. Her response was several fluttery kicks to his palm, to which Harry then pecked kisses against the outline of her tiny foot—or maybe fist—to coax her out. It obviously didn't work, but it was fun to watch her move around so actively. It was like she was teasing you both, saying, Not yet, Mom and Dad. It's warm and cozy in here.
You smiled, feeling a rush of happiness at the memory. Harry was going to be such a wonderful first-time dad. He was devoted, patient, and playful in all the right moments. You had no doubt he would slip into the role perfectly. It was evident in the way he treated you, how he treated his mother, and even how he treated strangers on the street. He had so much love to give. Compassion coursed through his veins.
When you straightened your posture, a weird sensation occurred. You felt a peculiar pop, then a trickle of something down the insides of your thighs. You stood stock still, your fried brain working extra hard to process the situation, then looked at the floor, seeing a continuous drip of clear fluid pooling on the tiles. You knew what that meant, but you were paralyzed as glorious relief and sheer panic wrestled with your heartstrings. Did you manifest it? Or had time merely lapped you until you got dizzy? It was impossible to comprehend how the months had gone by at warp speed and also at an excruciatingly slow pace.
"Harry?" you called out apprehensively, resting your head against the wall.
A few seconds passed before he casually replied, "Yeah?"
You blew out a shaky exhale. "Come here, please."
Silence hung in the air until you heard the creak of the wood floors and the soft padding of his socked feet. You met him halfway in the dark hallway, standing awkwardly while holding your bump. The bathroom light spilled out like a spotlight shining down on you. Surely, he could see "it's time" written all over your face.
"Hi," you whispered, slightly embarrassed about the unusual state you were in. "Um... I think my water just broke."
Harry’s hands reached out like you were a timid animal and he was trying not to spook you. His eyes were wide as they roved over your body, unsure of how to proceed. He eventually stepped closer, then crouched to observe the fluid coating your bare legs.
"Yeah, I think it did," he replied hoarsely, his voice quiet with awe. “Those noodles must have done the trick."
A hysteric, breathy laugh bubbled up your throat. "No, I think she's finally ready to meet us."
At those words, Harry's features transformed into barely restrained excitement, with deep dimples appearing beside his gorgeous smile. He cradled your bump and spoke against it. "About time, baby girl. We've been going stir-crazy out here."
A tear trailed down your cheek, the emotional reality hitting you with full force. This was it. This was the moment your life began to tilt toward a new purpose.
The pleasant thought was short-lived as a twinge of pain sparked in your lower abdomen. You grunted and pressed against the spot with your palm, a grimace tugging at your lips. Your belly tightened, causing you to grip Harry's shoulders for support.
"Oh, it's really happening," he said, standing and rubbing his forehead in shock. "Okay. All right. Should we..."
"Hospital," you mumbled, pinching your eyes shut.
"Right. Good thinking." Harry broke out of his trance and carefully guided you down the hall. He situated you on the couch before stressfully spinning in a circle, figuring out a plan of action. He hurried over to the two big duffel bags by the door and hefted them over his shoulders with ease. He then reached for the bowl where the car keys were, and you watched him open the front door while unlocking the car and pressing the button to open the garage door. After starting the engine and shoving the bags in the trunk, he came back inside.
"It hurts," you said weakly, groaning while hunched over. It was only going to get worse until the nurses gave you an epidural injection, which was also going to hurt. Hours, maybe even days, of physical pain lay ahead, and the prospect made you want to weep.
"I know, sweetheart," Harry replied. "Let's put your coat and shoes on, then we can leave."
"Hold on. Just... wait until this contraction passes."
He nodded and sat beside you. "What can I do?" he asked softly, his leg bouncing as he scanned your face.
"Brush your teeth. Your breath smells—ow—like chow mein." There was no suppressing your brutal honesty when in the thick of dealing with pain.
He blinked and smiled, like your complaint had completely unaffected him. "Noted."
While he obeyed your command, you got up and slid your sandals on. The contraction gradually subsided, but you still felt a heavy pressure near your pelvis. She was wasting no time in announcing her arrival.
Harry returned with a sweatshirt and a pair of sneakers on. His hair was tied up, and despite his confident walk toward you, you knew he was nervous based on his fidgety hands and rosy cheeks.
"Let's go," you said, standing by the door.
Harry stared at you with an affectionate gleam in his eyes. "You don't have any pants on, my love."
You glanced down, raising your brows in realization. "Whoops."
He was already on his way to the bedroom, laughing and calling out behind him, "Shorts, leggings, or sweatpants?"
You struggled for an answer since none of those options would fit well enough, hence the going shamelessly pantsless at home during the past month. Eventually, you decided, "My beach skirt, please."
He quickly retrieved your long sarong wrap skirt that was made out of soft, breathable fabric. He helped you into it, adjusting the stretchy waistband over your bump. It looked ridiculous paired with Harry's casual T-shirt on your upper half, but you were comfortable, and that was what mattered most.
"Can I take a picture of you like this?" Harry asked.
You frowned. "Why?"
"Because you look beautifully disheveled right now, and I want to keep this memory forever."
With a scowl, you reluctantly agreed with a grumbled, "Fine."
He took out his phone and captured a couple of candid pictures of you leaning against the wall with your hands cupped under your bump. You had no desire to smile or pose.
After shoving his phone back in his pocket, he exhaled and cupped your cheeks. "Ready to have this baby?"
You stared into his eyes, getting lost in their gentleness. "My body is screaming yes, but my brain says absolutely not."
Harry kissed you briefly, a cool blast of mint gracing your lips. "I'm in your corner, okay? I'll be at your beck and call in that hospital room."
"Can you give birth for me?"
He chuckled, smoothing his thumbs under your eyes—you hadn't realized they were damp. "I would in a heartbeat if that were possible."
“You’ll regret saying that,” you replied dryly. “It’s not going to be a pretty sight.”
“We’ll see.” Another contraction ensued, a little more persistent than the last. Harry noticed and cautiously led you past the threshold. "Time to meet our girl,” he whispered, locking the door behind him.
Stepping into the November night, you inhaled the crisp air into your lungs and embraced the transcendent phase of life on the horizon.
——
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salemlunaa ¡ 3 months ago
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𓇼∘˚ INNERMAN VS OUTERMAN·˚𓆉 ༘₊·
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helping you understand pure consciousness better
𓇼∘˚ PART I | UNDERSTANDING
What is the difference between the outerman and the innerman you may ask. Well the outerman is the body that you are experiencing the 3D in while your innerman is the real you. Your innerman doesn’t experience time or the 3D which is why when you want something you immediately get it, your innerman experiences your desires immediately because creation is finished.
So you have an intent to induce the void state? The outcome where you induce the void state has been created and it is finished, set in stone if you’re willing to persist in it. So it does not matter what the outerman sees, whether the outerman got symptoms and fell asleep, whether the outerman is still seeing unfavourable circumstances after an “unsuccessful” night. The Innerman induced pure consciousness the second you wanted to because the barriers of time and the 3D are non existent to your innerman. And your innerman is YOU, so YOU don’t experience time or the 3D, it isn’t real. YOU induce pure consciousness when you intend to no matter what the 3D is showing. You’ve induced pure consciousness and you’re living your dream life, no matter what you see through the experience of your outerman.
Take the outerman experience with a pinch of salt or even less than that because it isn’t real. Why are you relying on what the outerman experiences (3D) to tell your innerman (YOU, the operant) power what is real and what’s not. As soon as you realise that you already have your desires and that you’ve already induced pure consciousness, it will materialise in the 3D as a by product. But that shouldn’t matter. What your outerman self experience is a dormant malleable mirror, your innerman is what is real.
So when laying in position forcing yourself to relax or getting frustrated because everyone says it’s sooo easy and you “just can’t do it”, remember creation is finished for your innerman which is the real you. You don’t need to worry about if you will induce the void state or not because you already have. Why would you speculate the outcome of chapter 6 in a book when you’re on chapter 8? why are you waiting to read chapter 6 in a book when you already have?Stop doing your meditations wondering when it’s going to work, it already has worked. You ARE pure consciousness.
·˚𓆉 ༘₊· PART II | OUTERMAN vs INNERMAN
OUTERMAN: *has an experience in the 3D where they fell asleep while attempting to induce*
INNERMAN: *induced pure consciousness the second an intention was set*
OUTERMAN: *experiences waking back up in unfavourable circumstances*
INNERMAN: *the 3D doesn’t exist so neither do circumstance, living the dream life*
OUTERMAN: *panicked because they have given themselves a deadline to induce the void state and get their dream life and time is running out*
INNERMAN: *doesn’t experience time, everything is in the now and they are experiencing all desires now*
OUTERMAN: *believes they need to go on a “void journey” to induce pure consciousness with long lasting challenges to “reprogram subconscious”*
INNERMAN: *creation is finished, there is nothing that needs to be done, the shift has already happened, no shifting needed*
your outerman self doesn’t always have to struggle you can train it to align with your true self = training the 3d to align with the 4D
Remember you aren’t gaslighting yourself or being delusional, this is fact. You induced pure consciousness no matter what you see.
That unfavourable life you live is just what the VR headset is showing you, in order to take the VR goggles off you need to realise who you are!!
🪬 YOU ARE YOUR INNERMAN, THE 3D AND TIME ARE NOTHING
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zeyris-daydreams ¡ 2 months ago
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Jade Dragon’s Iron-Clad Camellias [1] Prologue
Dan Feng x Reader
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[ao3] or #df-camellia on my profile! Description is [HERE]
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“The scorching sun is sure to give One a heat induced headache. Walk with me, will you?”
Dan Feng already knew the answer. Despite knowing how fire burns, he touched it each time. Something he never quite learned his lesson of, as though he hoped it would falter.
“No.” Your voice remained firm and unwavering as always, and he didn’t know quite why you disliked him like this. It was frustrating, and borderline enraging.
His eye twitched.
Despite his feelings on the matter, he remained calm. Did you not see his efforts? Were you feigning ignorance? The vidyadhara looked over at the inside of your workshop, as if he was thinking of your answer. His gaze lingered on your unfinished ‘artistry’ on the wall, hanging. Waiting to be polished.
”And why is that?” His green eyes met yours once more. You wiped your hands against your apron, the material rough to the touch. Like that you reached behind, untying it swiftly. “I do not need an excuse, higher elder.”
”High elder.”
The dismissive roll of your eyes didn’t escape him. The stained apron which used to be white was laid across the aged table, and you turned away from Dan Feng, walking to the darkened counter situated behind you. “I’m on a break right now.”
”Isn’t it fitting to spend free time outside, when the weather is still generous?”
You however liked the darkness that the workshop provided. The only source of light being one from the somewhat dirty windows, or the raging fire of the stone furnace. It was utterly human, simple. It was comforting.
The high elder felt his chest burn at your lack of answer. Such ridiculous insolence; an utter lack of gratitude. Did you not understand that an important person like himself gave you time of day?
Or was your ignorance drawn from childish pettiness? If that was so, he’d meet your level. He did not expect a short-lived blossom to comprehend the grandness of a tree.
“Yingxing.”
Dan Feng was nothing but a lizard. A snake - in your understanding. He knew how to tug your strings, and even more so lately, with his recent discoveries.
Once he found out about your smithing business, it seemed like his pursuit grew even more relentless. It didn’t need to be said that such business was not appropriate for a person of your stature. Not to mention the blatant lie of being the owner's apprentice.
There was no Yingxing, there was just you.
That remark was a cruel reminder. You placed your hand upon the stone countertop of the workshop, turning your body just enough to have him in your sight. Dan Feng’s expression remained ever so pleasant. “That was not a question. Unless you’d prefer One to tell others about your ownership of.. ‘Cloud Splendor Forge,’ hm?”
His hand motioned to the exit he stood right near, the only thing separating you and the vidyadhara being the desk at which you welcomed customers.
You didn’t want to cave in. By no means actually; to see you waver would give him too much power.
”You wouldn’t dare.”
Imbibitor Lunae smirked, eyes narrowing, almost as though he thought this a challenge. His features were long, sharp - yet his speech was leisurely, relaxed even.
“Do you wish to try me?” His voice carried a tune of mockery, a challenge.
Despite the words you spoke through gritted teeth earlier, you knew he wasn’t bluffing. This was merely a speck of his issues, and he wouldn’t hesitate to fix it - as a High Elder there was nothing he couldn’t get.
Throwing the rag you used to wipe your tools with onto the table, you finally turned to face him properly. You didn’t hide the look of displeasure. Not that he was unaware of your feelings on the matter.
Seeing as you complied, he motioned towards the doors again. “Now, if you allow me.”
With little choice in the matter you took the final layer of your protective garments off, your leather coat sliding down your shoulders. It wasn't as though you had a lot of work to do today, the day had only just started - therefore you weren’t yet exhausted. Like so you stepped to the entrance.
Dan Feng’s fingers easily found purchase around your wrist when you came near him, and he pulled you to himself, roughly. “Let us not cause a commotion.”
A thinly veiled warning.
You didn’t need to say anything, as he so graciously pushed the doors open for the both of you, his firm grip on your wrist replaced by his arm on your back. You were led out first, and he was right next to you.
The first to hit was the bright sun against the cloudless sky, only the protective shade above the workshop’s entrance shielding your eyes from an utter annihilation. It was situated further north of Xianzhou Loufu, attached to other buildings which shared a similar decorative store overhang.
It was unseen for a person of Dan Feng’s status to be here.
Before your eyes fully adjusted to the newfound brightness, his arm guided you along himself down the street, keeping you in the shade. Despite that, you still felt the warmness of the sun. The second to hit was the busyness of the area. You chose to ignore glanes sent your way.
“I do believe it is fitting for us to see one of the gardens? I have heard it is fully reworked.”
His exquisite tone never phased you. It was something you never paid attention to; something unimpressive. As such you would not insist on upholding his level. “Sure.”
Trees around seemed to have been stuck in a forever autumn, their shades of fire praiseworthy. The streets were bustling with life regardless of the time, foxians and xianzhou natives trading together in broad daylight. Maybe some of your own kin would be among them, the only difference being age disposition.
You focused on the area as he led you, admiring the charming stove paved road - and trying to ignore the situation. Being around Dan Feng was the only thing you would do anything to get out of, so it was far too easy to space out. It took you a moment to realise he was speaking. “..although I am uncertain. Is that correct?”
Blinking, you turned your face to the man. That itself gave away you weren’t paying attention at all, seeing the subtle, yet noticeable twitch of his eye.
“I asked if your craft is inherited.”
Your lips pressed into a thin line. One thing about Dan Feng was his unyielding curiosity; if it was not satiated, he’d find ways to amuse himself. In recent days, the high elder’s fascination seemed to have a single focus. You.
“No.”
His smile turned into one somewhat irritated, eyes boring into you for moments before he looked ahead. As you walked with him, you found his hand tightening its grip on your waist slightly. The surroundings changed as you went, headed towards the further outskirts.
Dan Feng didn’t ask again, likely keeping this question for another time. If he did not get an answer now, he would later.
Your eyes have adjusted to the sun by now, more and more trees appearing over the time. Fewer buildings, more greenery. Less noise.
The garden was within sight soon enough, one that Dan Feng wanted to take you to last time. You declined, but it would seem as though he didn’t give that idea up entirely. It was surrounded by garden-style half-walls, akin to ones throughout the city, a structure you’ve grown accustomed to.
The vidyadhara allowed you in first, and you looked around. The garden was mostly a space to spend time in leisure, some land but mostly something akin to a water pond, with three or so bridges which connected to the dry pieces of land.
On top of the water you saw flowers, lotuses growing higher up from the surface, and beneath them emerging waterlilies along their beautiful leaves. This specific species seemed to have been larger.
As beautiful and serene this place was, your admiration was stopped by a voice you didn’t wish to hear. “I find this place great for when I feel inspired, do you?”
You took steps forward on your own to his displeasure, slowly getting onto the first bridge. Your fingers gripped the edge of it for security, aware of the gaps between the wooden pieces beneath your shoes.
The garden was of a great size, yet not enough to be huge. The land not submerged in water had an occasional bench, but no one was around. Dan Feng matched your pace after a moment, a presence you felt right over your shoulder. He kept his arms behind his back, proud and straightened. “Do you?”
”It looks nice.”
Perhaps even saying that much would give him the wrong idea. Last time, when you had told him, ‘I do not have time today’, he ended up coming right the next morning.
Your reverie of appreciating the sun in water reflection was put to an end by the grip on your arm, and he made you stop on the peak of the bridge. “It truly does. That does remind me”
With a slight tug you were made to face him, and had to glance upwards. His head shielded you from the burning light above.
“How’s the refinement of my cloud-piercer?”
It was a question you heard before - an artistry of sorts was demanded of you. Your weapons and craft were strictly for practicality, to cut. To hurt. Dan Feng had an insistence on his weapon being improved practically every other week. Something was amiss, or something was out of place every time apparently.
At this rate you doubted the need for further improvement. You had an inkling that he may just try to find ways to pester you.
With a deep breath you attempted to keep the fire in your mind inside your body. The vidyadhara had a tendency to give you fuel, after which you’d be guilty for your flames. “Dan Feng, the weapon arrived undamaged. Once finished there is no further refinery to be added to it”
”We should strive for constant improvement, no?”
As a representative of long-life species, his stance was utterly annoying - in your understanding. In some strange way, you wanted to strangle him. Not that it would be possible. But it was worth thinking about it, even if just to escape.
“I see what can be done.” You would not. Maybe he brought you here to give you ‘inspiration’.
Regardless of authenticity, the answer seemed to please him. His gaze left your face, aimed ahead, towards the rest of the garden. That was something you could focus on for once. “I knew you’d understand.”
There were gaps between you and Dan Feng that no amount of discussion could fix, the most prominent one being your cultures and ideals. He seemed to have been ignoring that, for now.
Deciding to focus on something else, your eyes lingered on the borders of the garden, the exit at the end. This space was long, meant to be walked through and enjoyed up until the end. Then again the enjoyment would be cut in half due to the vidyadhara’s imposing presence. Maybe it would’ve been nicer to witness this alone.
The elaborate painting on the walls didn’t slip your gaze, drags of paint and decor, one you saw as misguided. Wood that built the barrier between the garden and the outside was a gorgeous shade of brown, one fading almost into cherry. Yet it was smeared by images of drifting clouds.
To Dan Feng, the artistry in them was admirable. To you, it felt forced and unnecessary.
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