#Which honestly sounds like more trouble than it's worth so I don't think I would bother

[idledreams4]

half my first paycheck went to these beauties and I DO NOT regret it XD

[bridgertonbabe]

I’m popping this here in case you get the urge

But the great Cluedo incident of ‘19…

I need to know what happened!!

BSSG Group Chat

Penelope: So other than all of that

Penelope: How did you enjoy your first game night @ Phillip @ Michael?

Michael:

Phillip: ⬆⬆⬆

Michael: To say I didn't enjoy a single second of last night would be an understatement

Simon: Yeah sounds about right.

Phillip: I can't lie.

Phillip: I did google how to go about getting a restraining order.

Penelope: Honestly Phil that's fair

Simon: I did the same thing after my first game night with them

Phillip: Did you actually go through with it?

Simon: I really was on the verge of it ngl

Simon: But alas, I knew it would be far more trouble than it's worth.

Simon: And besides I should have known what I was marrying into after my first game of pall mall 💀

Penelope: And look as much as we love you guys, if the events of last night were enough to scare you off we'd completely and whole-heartedly understand if you wanted to go NC with the rest of the fam.

Phillip: Just one question

Phillip: Is it just game nights and pall mall that sets them all off like that?

Michael: Yeah we really need to know now if they're triggered like that by anything else

Michael: Because if so...

Simon: It's only anything competitive that sets them all off in that way.

Simon: You have my word on that.

Penelope: ⬆⬆⬆

Penelope: Yes and they're particularly at their worst when they're playing as a family.

Penelope: They really know how to push each others buttons but none of them know when to draw the line

Michael: Yeah no shit

Michael: I managed to pick up on that last night when I was trying to put out an actual fucking fire

Simon: I do have to say that last night was an all time low

Simon: They really were all at their absolute worst

Simon: Even I didn't think they could collectively be that bad, especially after the Pictionary incident of '16

Phillip: I mean I guess it's somewhat of a relief to hear that last night wasn't just a bog standard Bridgerton game night

Phillip: Though from the way you guys are talking about it and now with the mentioned "Pictionary incident", it seems their game nights are always a cause for concern and never fun in general

Michael: Very that

Kate: What?!

Kate: What are you talking about?

Kate: Of course game nights are fun!

Penelope:

Simon: Kate

Simon: Are you actually insane

Kate: Just because last night got a little bit crazy doesn't mean game nights on the whole aren't fun!

Phillip: A little bit crazy????

Penelope: Kate multiple people had to go to hospital last night

Kate: Yeah and?

Kate: It's not like it's the first game night we've ended up in A&E

Michael:

Michael: What do you mean this isn't the first game night that you've ended up in A+E?????

Phillip: ⬆⬆⬆⬆⬆⬆⬆⬆⬆⬆⬆⬆

Phillip: ???????????????

Penelope: Kate 2 casualties as a result of a Bridgerton game night is to be expected but 9 is still nine more than any of us would like

Michael: 2 casualties...

Michael: 2 CASUALTIES IS TO BE EXPECTED?!?!?!?

Phillip: I

Kate: Omg Pen it wasn't 9 casualties

Kate: The doctors were just covering their arses with keeping most of them in over night

Kate: They were fine

Simon: They had smoke inhalation Kate

Michael: Your husband had his eyebrows burnt off

Penelope: Which is what happens when you and Anthony throw a tandem strop and set the kitchen alight

Kate: Objection!

Kate:

Kate: If you want to point the finger at who caused the fire then look no further than your wife @ Simon

Simon: First of all I wasn't pointing fingers

Simon: And secondly I was too busy trying to stem Greg's bleeding to notice the fire happening or who caused

Kate: Deflect all you want but your wife was the firestarter 🔥🔥🔥

Kate: The number of casualties was only so high because of her

Penelope: God I just hope Sophie's ok

Michael: Yeah ngl she's the only one I'm concerned for

Kate: I'm sure she's perfectly fine

Kate: Seriously you guys need to chill

Kate: I don't know why you're all being so negative about last night

Phillip: HYACINTH BOUGHT A FUCKING SWITCHBLADE TO A GAME NIGHT

Michael:

Kate: Omg why are you so mad?

Kate: It's not like she attacked you

Phillip: Oh and I should be so fucking grateful should I???

Phillip: That after attacking 3 others Anthony wrestled it off of her before she could get to me????

Michael: Who tf even let her have a switchblade in the first place???

Penelope: I did tell Colin he'd live to regret getting it for her

Phillip: And he got it for her because?!?!

Penelope: It was the one thing she asked him for when he was in Japan and he thought she just wanted it for ornamental reasons even though I explicitly warned him that definitely wasn't the case

Sophie sent a photo

Sophie sent a photo

Penelope: Omg Sophie!!!!

Penelope: 😍

Sophie: Everyone, meet Alexander 💙

Simon: Oh thank god, congrats Soph! x

Michael: Aw made up for you Soph, he's a right lil beauty! 😘

Phillip: Congrats Sophie 🤗

Penelope: He's so beautiful 🥰 how did it go?

Sophie: As smoothly as it could be considering he's 3 weeks early

Michael: I have to say Ben's rocking that eye patch

Sophie: I mean it's not exactly the get up I expected our son to meet his dad wearing but c'est la vie

Simon: How's Charlie finding being a big brother?

Sophie: I think he's more delighted with his dad looking like a pirate than with his baby brother tbh

Sophie: He very excitedly went to his dress up box and put on his pirate costume so he could be just like his daddy and refused to take it off when we were taking photos of him with Alex.

Sophie sent a photo

Penelope: Oh bless him he looks pleased as punch

Sophie: He couldn't hand Alex back to me fast enough so he could have a sword fight with Ben and make him walk the plank

Phillip: Btw just wanted to say Sophie that I'm really sorry that El accused you of faking your water breaking just to get out of the game.

Penelope: I'm sorry on Colin's behalf too Soph

Sophie: It's ok guys, I appreciate it and besides you were the ones who called the ambulance for me.

Simon: Unlike someone.

Michael: @ Kate

Kate: Omg Alex is absolutely gorgeous, congrats Soph! x

Simon: ...

Simon: Anything else you'd like to say?

Penelope: Yeah any apology to extend?

Kate: Ok ok ok

Kate: Sophie I know I didn't believe you were in labour and refused to call an ambulance

Kate: But from my side of things it just seemed really convenient that your contractions started just as you were losing

Michael: This isn't an apology???

Simon: Your newborn nephew isn't evidence enough that you were clearly in the wrong???

Kate: Ok fine I'm sorry for not calling an ambulance when you needed it Sophie!

Sophie: K.

Kate: But I will add, who's to say she didn't fake contractions and then get induced once she got to the hospital?

Sophie has left the chat.

Michael: Jesus fucking Christ

Simon has removed Kate from the chat.

Simon has added Sophie to the chat.

Simon: Don't worry I removed her.

Sophie: Thanks Simon x

Phillip: One more question.

Phillip: Did the Bridgertons corrupt Kate to be like that or was she god forbid like that anyway?

Penelope: Unfortunately Kate married in being equally as deranged as them in any competitive setting 😔

Michael:

Simon: Very that.

[justatalkingface]

I JUST FREAKING REALIZED SOMETHING!!!

Aizawa didn’t get into the hero course until his second year and was bullied by Sensoji for being a waste of space.

And Sensoji's actions were justified.

Now stick with me here.

Isn’t it a bit odd how Bakugou's behavior was justified? And I don't mean just in a favoritism way.

Despite how much he was willing to bash Class 1-A, Hitoshi didn't seem to acknowledge Aizawa favoring Bakugou. Not once. This is odd as he was there when Aizawa openly defended Bakugou during the Sports Festival. And you'd think Aizawa would correct Hitoshi's opinions on Class 1-A, but he doesn't.

And with how Aizawa made the battle between both hero courses focus on Hitoshi...

I'm sorry. Correct me if I'm wrong but...

Was Aizawa setting things up for Hitoshi to become like him? Was Bakugou going to be set up to be another Sensoji that Hitoshi had to face off?

Because if the war didn't happen...Hitoshi was going to be in Class 1-A way earlier.

...I don't think Eraserhead is self-aware enough to plan something like, which is saying something because even more self-awareness would tell him how stupid it is, but...

It's hard to get past the fact that, fundamentally, he's a hollow shell of a man. In all likelihood, he was a mess before Oboro, but after he died? I think something just... broke inside him.

This isn't really something I talk about, but at the core of him, Eraserhead is someone going through the motions, just existing one day at a time. He doesn't seem to have... goals. Objectives. Plans. Desires. Dreams. All he really has is his work, and he's not really doing his work well, is the thing. The first thing he does after getting life altering injuries is go back to work the next day, held together by staples and a prayer. Logically, that not only put back his healing, it might have actually worsened how much permanent damage he had.

He works day and night, and it's clear he's not managing his time well by his constant exhaustion, so most likely if he's not doing UA stuff, or being dragged around by his friends, he's off fighting crime. I mean, hell, he barely even eats.

He doesn't shave, he doesn't clean up, he doesn't get his hair cut... all of that stuff is because he probably doesn't have the energy or will to do it, and, real talk? I honestly wonder if he's so skinny because he's malnourished in some form, because those jelly packets or whatever can't actually be meeting all his nutritional needs, especially with how much energy he has to be burning every day.

I think the main reason Present Mic and Midnight got him to join UA was to save his life. Not from a major threat or anything, but from himself. With him at UA, they could dial him back, stop him from running around picking fights and parkouring across roofs 24/7, and maybe even get a real meal in him.

All of the stuff I've been talking about... 'logically', doesn't that ruin his vaulted 'efficiency'?

When Eraserhead says, 'efficiency', or 'logically', or whatever other word he uses to sound smart, he doesn't really mean, 'doing it in the best way possible', even if he's lying to himself that he is; what he's actually saying is 'doing it the most simple and straightforward way possible, right now'. If he thinks a student is too much trouble, rather than trying to fix the problem he just gets rid of them, and if they manage to pull themselves together after he does that? All the better.

The reverse, though, is as long as they aren't too much of a problem, then they're not actually worth punishing, not unless he's basiclly forced to: he doesn't let Bakugou run wild because he likes him, really, he does it because he doesn't think dealing with him is worth his time, the same way he lets Minoru be a creepy little pervert without really doing anything to make him stop, until he finally crosses the line enough that Eraserhead has to be involved, like by putting a kid in danger. The reason his only comment when he holds Bakugou back that first time is about his dry eye is that honestly, that was all he actually cared about: not that he was attacking other students, but that Bakugou was making him do extra work.

It's why the few times we see him actually deal with a student's problems (that weren't his favorite, anyways) is when he was already doing something else involving them in the first place, because if he's already there, working with them, might as well do this other shit, right?

It's only efficient.

To bring it back to your original point, though, I think part of the reason he's such a hypocrite is he doesn't really reflect on himself, or his actions. While he does think on the past, it's not anything productive, it's just him... wallowing in his grief and self loathing.

The reason Hitoshi was the main focus was because, well, Hitoshi was Eraserhead's main focus, so he wanted him to get a lot of the experience everyone else had been having as fast as possible, and beyond that I don't think he was thinking through the implications beyond that.

I've found a lot of Eraserhead's actions make sense if you ignore everything he says, and instead draw a metaphorical straight line between him and whatever it is that he wants to do. It's not deep, it's just so OOC for a normal thought process that it throws you off.

[haru-dipthong]

Translation of Sekai no Owari - Habit

I love this song, and the choreo is fucking crazy. I'll attempt to explain some of the decisions I made in the translation below the cut!

First a little explanation about this song. I have been thinking about my gender for a few years now, and I recently had a few conversations that have made me realise I'm probably agender. My partner showed me this song at the peak of when I was thinking about it the most (she didn't know at the time), and I was shocked at how relevant the lyrics were to my thought process and especially to our relationship. This song means a lot to me, and I felt like I just had to translate it.

Anyway, let's talk translation. I've had a look at some other translations, and mine slightly differs in that I feel I've attempted to convey the core message of the song more strongly than the others. For example:

陰キャ陽キャ "What's your MBTI?"

This line could be translated to something literal like "are you cheerful or gloomy" but I felt it was better to use an english-world equivalent of a popular system of putting people into boxes. Also worth noting that this line is extremely short, and my subtitling software warns you when the amount of time the subtitle appears for is too short, based on how many letters are in it. The translation needed to be like, 3 short words. I'm honestly pretty happy with this, I think it fits well and introduces the premise of the song well.

気付かない本能の外側を 覗いていかない？　気分が乗らない？ Nice dichotomy idiot, what exists outside it?　Wanna take a peek? Not in the mood?

Ok, obviously this isn't a direct translation, but I love that post and this song is basically "nice dichotomy idiot" the song, so I really wanted to work it in somewhere. A literal translation would be like "Won't you peek outside your subconscious instincts?" and I had trouble making that sound song-y in english until I decided to work in the meme.

やってるのにイケないヤツ and the ones using skills they don’t have

The Japanese here is a bit of a double entendre. It could be translated to "people doing stuff who really shouldn't be doing that" (いけない being kind of equivalent to ダメ in such an interpretation), but it could also mean "people who are fucking but can't cum". I tried really hard to work in similar sexual imagery ("the ones who go but don't come"??) but it just didn't work and in the end I just made it mirror the preceding line.

I almost want to say that was the hardest line in the song but that award has to go to this:

大人の俺が言っちゃいけない事言っちゃうけど 説教するってぶっちゃけ快楽 酒の肴にすりゃもう傑作 でもって君も進むキッカケになりゃ

Most adults won’t admit it, but what the hell, Lecturing is such a guilty pleasure This, plus a drink - that's heaven And if this gets you to grow up?

Making this catchy and natural was really tough. I actually stole a bit of the first line from another translation because I liked the way they handled the 大人の俺 part. 酒の肴にすりゃ is also a difficult thing to translate - in the English speaking world we don't really have this idea that food needs to accompany a drink.

But the line I'm most happy with is this:

すぐ世の中金だとか愛だとか運だとか縁だとか なぜ2文字で片付けちゃうの？

It’s all about cash, or love, or luck, or fate How neat, summing up the world in 4 letters.

This wasn't a particularly hard translation to come up with ("love" and "luck" are basically the only translations for those words which locked in "4 letters", and it wasn't hard to find 4 letter words for 金 and 縁), but I was surprised to find that none of the existing translations I could find did this. One went with "Why do you want to wrap it all up with a single word?" and another even further abstracted, "How can it be so simple?"

I hope you enjoyed the song/translation! Let me know if you would have translated something differently or if I've made a mistake, I really love seeing your responses!

[rudikawhy]

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season Two

While watching season two, I took some notes of my thoughts. I only started on S02 E09 so before that there isn't too much.

Sorry, this is going to be mostly Fitzsimmons but you can't really blame me, because it's THEM

But first, two last things for season one "I couldn't live if you didn’t" "Well, I feel the same way. There has to be another way." "You're taking it" "Why would you make me do this? You're my best friend in the world!" "Yeah, you're more than that, Jemma" seems to now live in my head

Also the desperation and intensity in Jemma's voice, while Fitz's is so calm and kinda trembling, but both are absolutely heartbreaking in their own ways

But now to season two:

Fitz having trouble with words is both absolutely adorable and heartbreaking

Bobbi reminded me at first of the person (?) from Asgard who helped them get Lorelei

I am curious why Hunter says that his ex-wife was so horrible because so far, I love Bobbi

I just can't shut up about Fitz. But no-one I know in real life would know what the hell I'm talking about, so I just think about him and write about him

(S02 E03) When Jemma wakes up by the sound of her alarm and the song started playing, I thought "Hold on, I know that song", and yes, I love "God help the Girl"

Also it's kinda ironic because it says "God help the Girl, she needs all the help she can get" just as she steps into the lift which brings her to her work at Hydra

(S02 E04) Hunter: "Guys, drop everything!" Fitz: "No, this is worth a fortune. I'm not gonna drop it."

(S02 E07) "Would anyone like to leave before we get started" I would have raised my hand too

(S02 E09) Mack: "A Storm's coming" - Fitz: "No, weather's fine, actually. There's not a cloud in the sky. I checked."

[Jemma knocks on table] "That's not wood, is it?"

Why is literally any conversation Fitzsimmons have killing me? The "I can work for you, I just can't work with you"? I beg your pardon? How am I supposed to accept that?

"Come home, Jemma" (S02 E11) HQ's their home :D

Fitz's hands trembling :(

(S02 E12) This moment when you recognize the face of the woman that came from the ocean but can't recall WHO it is (Lady Sif)

Fitz seems so left out when Jemma tells him about them changing the ICER

Why is Jemma saying "Sir, the boys were right" so funny to me?

Nooo, Coulson said "Fitz and Simmons", they're no longer one and the same

I mean I agree that it wasn't right that Fitz lied to the rest of the team about Skye but please, can Fitzsimmons just be at least friends and work together

(S02 E14) Jemma: "Oh, Fitz!"; Fitz: "Well, don't 'Oh, Fitz' me!" - I kinda waited for him to say that

I am so confused by this whole "real S.H.I.E.L.D."

"No, it's not that. You're afraid 'cause of what happened to me and Skye, how we both changed. But you know what the scariest change is, Jemma? It's you." You know what? At this point maybe I don't want them to talk at all anymore, if every time they do, I just sit there and think "Why are you doing this to each other?"😭

(S02 E15) "I told you, Leo,[...]" Okay, Jemma, this doesn't feel right, calling him by his first name, I regret asking in the first place

I am REALLY confused by the real S.H.I.E.L.D.

I'm glad that even Fitz puts the USB in the wrong way at first

Did Fitzsimmons finally make up when sitting on the ground by the table when "real S.H.I.E.L.D" attacked?

(S02 E16) Don't do this to me, Jemma, don't say you want Fitz off the plane!

Don't leave Jemma alone, Fitz!

Okay, I've changed my mind. Apparently there was a plan behind Fitz leaving that I didn't catch. ("Nice work, Jemma")

Also: Proscuitto + Mozzarella, Be Safe! Love, Jemma 🥲 - The world's most dangerous sandwich is back

I know it's actually a bit late but I have honestly no idea what S.O. means (I suppose it doesn't mean Significant Other) (Rewatching parts of season one reminded me - Supervising Officer)

I really want to like Bobbi (and I still do) but I am afraid I won't much longer

(S02 E17) I kinda like Lincoln

Skye telling the story about not being anywhere longer than two years despite being 25 (or actually 26) actually brought me to tears

Okay, THAT I didn't expect. That this was Skye's mother

"The Girl. I couldn't save her" I didn't know May could make me cry

I thought that when Fitz was in that public bathroom with Coulson's cube (I forgot the name) that Ward was outside knocking and I already saw Fitz getting captured

(S02 E18) That was quite a run, Fitz, I would have been fallen down at least five times (not to mention my lack of stamina), three times alone on the stairs (I know that others have run more and under different circumstances but still)

I feel for Fitz, rocking his leg, I totally understand

Don't you dare, Ward, talking to Fitz!!

Grateful for Coulson's and Hunter's quick reaction

(S02 E19) Was it worth it, Ward? Betraying S.H.I.E.L.D. for leaving Hydra again like half a season later?

I'm glad Fitzsimmons finally talk to each other again like normal people

"Mistakes were made..." - "By you" "...and people got hurt..." - "By you"

No, I'm not okay. "Be careful, Jemma"😭

"So, how does this work? You just click your heals together and whisper, "There's no place like home"?" Is this a S.H.I.E.L.D. director thing? Quoting The Wizard of Oz?

One moment I really like Skye's mother and ten seconds later I can't stand her

(S02 E21) this whole show is confusing me. Who's on whose side?

Now Gordon too!?

Leave Bobbi alone!!!!

I'm not sure if I like Lincoln anymore

(S02 E22) Nooo, Bobbi!

That's what you've got, Ward! Now your girlfriend's dead

"There's nothing to discuss, Jemma" - "Maybe there is"😢😢 I can't with them

"Science, biatch" I actually squeak-laughed

"We're not bad, we're misled" Aaaaand I like Lincoln again

I need someone asking me out the way Fitz did, asap

I mean I knew what was about to happen to Jemma (I saw a GIF somewhere) but fuck, with sound and context it hurts SO MUCH MORE

Okay, that was it with season two. I know I need to step down a little bit with how many episodes I watch daily (because season two has only been six days), but no matter how much I know that, I just can't stop. But enough with this talk.

It was fun doing this, I think I'll do it again with season three.

[code31-onthedancefloor]

totally agree with your tags on that post about jean. i try to stay out of jean discourse because i have mutuals who say that he’s their fav character, but…i just don’t get it tbh. also yes kimjean makes absolutely no sense to me. i feel like it’s more like playing with dolls than anything else. like if your headcanons deviate from the source material that much, what’s the point? why is it fun?

thank you for your ask! and i agree!

part of it is falling into the trap of 'colouring in the blanks' vis-a-vis harry's memory loss, i think. but as you said - at some nebulous point, you're just making an OC.

my mutuals range from indifferent-to-utter hatred when it comes to jean, so i have no problem writing a few more of my thoughts. this is mainly about the failures of capitalist institutions in general to keep people alive. bit of a sprawling rant under cut:

personally, jean (and the rest of the Precinct 41 cops) struck me as a mouthpiece for one of the clusters of problems that institutions like the police fall into: using 'personal' bias under the guise of 'for the good of the institution/society' to cut off a member/member of the public in need. looking out from the institution's windows, one might liken it to pruning dead flowerheads off a tree. from the outside in, it is tantamount to manslaughter.

that might sound like a large step to make - however, if you think about how it is, in many cases, legal for a landlord to suddenly evict one of their tenants and make them homeless in the middle of winter (for them to go on and die of cold on the street) - what is that, if not manslaughter with extra, authorised steps?

with that, i think what jean is capable of doing in the bad ending... harry, possibly going through withdrawal, disabled, healing from recent GUNSHOT WOUNDS, destitute, mentally ill, suicidal, amnesia-ridden and isolated, is left in the fishing village by jean to fend for himself. not even 'here are your house keys and a few rèal for a train fare. go home, you're fired'. he is just Left There. and there is nothing there for harry. unless he joins the fucking hardie boys or some shit, there's no way he's getting a job again. that's it - harry's dead to us now; which means he is dead, or will be very soon. the only thing that would keep him alive at that point would by the kindness of isobel and lilienne and the other residents of martinaise, which proves my point that the RCM itself is a failed, bigoted institution. when even the hotshot lieutenant double-yefreitor is ejected for being 'more trouble than he's worth' without the disability/pension pay that he honestly rightfully deserves, the place is fucked. jean knows that nothing harry can do or say can prevent this. harry can't afford a fucking lawyer to fight for his case.

as soon as harry purposefully drove him away while imploding in a suicidal mania, that was apparently reason enough for him to 'fuck off'... for him to just sit there doing fuck all while harry wakes up not knowing who he is, gets shot, and actually solves the fucking murder for him. and then jean sees the detritus of harry's many, many attempts at ending his own life, and all he can see is wasted assets; wasted budget; wasted time. and to rub salt in the wound: the only reason he brings Trant along is to 'see if harry's lying'. WHICH. jean KNOWS that harry's had amnesia blackouts before. judit knows that harry's had amnesia blackouts before. jean just wants to see if he can leverage enough over harry to get rid of him for good.

when it comes to jean in particular, i think people can project their own ideas about what he is 'meant to be' onto him. hell, i'm doing it now. but to some people, jean is meant to represent the 'long-suffering addict handler' who has been at the Mercy of the Big Bad Addict, just trying to do his job but inevitably dragged down by him. i don't want to disregard anyone who has tried for years to do damage control with friends and relatives who are addicts - however, i just don't think that the writers intended for this reading of his character. harry, historically, used drugs and alcohol as a method to solve cases more efficiently and probably self-medicate for mental illness and post-polio syndrome. he has a massive caseload which he shouldered for years, grinding his spirit against the murders of revachol. it sounds like he only became a 'non-functional addict' relatively recently (don't quote me on that). and as soon as he starts inevitably imploding, jean - the guy who was basically only playing second fiddle in that caseload - is already right there to kick him onto the street.

because that's what cops view mentally ill addicts as, right? it doesn't matter if they're prestigious in their own goddamn precinct. as soon as they've outlived their usefulness; their cost-effectiveness, they're gone. and That is what jean was there to carry out - in the bad ending. it doesn't matter that jean is clinically depressed. they both can't afford therapy, but only jean can continue working because his mental illness apparently isn't severe enough to the point that he's driving his car into the ocean in a desperate attempt to end his own life. because he is 'functional'.

and the worst part is - they're both miserable! they're both suffering! jean wants to kick harry out because he's sick of dealing with him. what makes jean sitting around the whirling-in-rags in a wig being useless Funny is that HARRY IS DOING HIS JOB FOR HIM! while not even knowing what money is or who he is or where he lives! and then jean can kick him out the RCM and leave him to die for not being 'functional' enough.

now there's more to say about the different endings. how the 'kim *truly* trusts you' check and make or break an ending and the variety of ways in which you can play harry and how your actions 'mid-game' can impact how the world interprets 'pre-amnesia harry'. different shit. you can play harry as a racist, fascist asshole. and as much as i would like for every racist, fascist asshole TO die in a ditch - safety nets such as universal healthcare/basic income & unconditional housing should be there to benefit Everyone. even racist, fascist assholes. otherwise, the point is defeated: like jean the RCM denying harry his past and a stable future because of illness and poverty. jean raging about 'the liberals' and the horrific ableist shit he said in regards to harry's disabilities should have sent alarm bells ringing in the minds of people who want to woobify him. (plus judit's 'well-meaning' infantilisation, and trant's poverty-tourism schtick. ew.)

failure of institutions and different rules for different groups of society based on bigotry aside, jean is ultimately only there for like 5 minutes. if you want an asshole with a mushy core, why not titus? if you want a guy with a lot of 'fill in the blanks' potential, why not goraçy kubrek?

why not tiago? why not mañana? why not ruby? why not lilienne? why not cunoesse? why not the dicemaker? why not the ravers? why not the student communists? why not lizzie? why not cindy? hell, the guy who gives you a slice of salami showed more humanity than jean did in the entire game and the only reason he's there is to give you a slice of salami! why jean?

it's a little detached from what i've said here, but social institutions & contracts and ignoring/bending the law for the purposes of third parties are talked a lot about in this great video by philosphytube!

[quinloki]

Hi imma be greedy too :3

what about worked up, kinks, and another with Sabo/Marco pls and thank you Quin :3333

xD Alright, so I'm assuming Sabo and Marco are the request for Worked up and Kink as well, and then together for Another - or at least that's what I'mma go with

mdni, you know the drill, kinks will get kinky so you've been warned.

-:- Worked Up -:- What is your f/o like when turned on? Are they desperate, tense, barely restrained? How do they handle it?

Marco:

Barely restrained. This man's control is all about keeping himself under control, but once he's worked up he's already started to let go. He wants what he wants, how he wants, and if I've opened the doors for him there's no holding back.

He can cool off in an instant if I need it - but otherwise it's a need that simmers under the surface, flickering flames along his shoulders and fingers, shifting in his eyes. Others might have me feeling like I'm being hunted, but Marco doesn't give that kind of heads up.

It's almost a tangible thing, honestly.

Sabo:

Sabo gets a little desperate. He does trying to keep it under wraps, but if he's had to deal with it for any length of time, his patience is often thrown right out the window. Knowing he's like that, and teasing him further is usually a good way to get myself in trouble >.>

What can I say, hearing those leather gloves just creeeeeak with barely restrained need is a delicious sound.

-:- Kinks -:- are you or your f/o kinky? What kinds of kinks do you and your f/o like?

Marco:

Marco's kinky in the "open to anything" sense of the word. He might have a weakness for a few things like Breeding and roleplays - a solid appreciation for impact play and power play dynamics, but really he just likes knowing his partner(s) is/are enjoying things.

So with me he incorporates a lot of rope and dom/sub dynamics.

The best part is that there's not really a lot of hard No's with either of us, so most of the stuff we do is experimenting and trying new things. It's a helluva lot safer with his devil fruit, for him and me.

Sabo:

Sabo loves power dynamics. He leans more toward being the one in control, but he's also okay with relinquishing that to some extent. I've barely got a dominating bone in my body though, so it's a rare thing for him to be receiving.

Impact play, Edge Play, Sensory Play - there's some madness in him, but he's oh so careful when walking along lines. He's a cruel bastard sometimes, especially with over-stim and denial, but the pay-offs are worth it in my opinion.

-:- Another -:- have you ever considered including someone else in your activities? If so, who would it be?

Marco:

Marco's not against it at all. So long as the person I'm including or he is, is aware of all the appropriate boundaries - safe words, limits, etc.

He'll rarely take on a sub role in group dynamics, however, no matter who else is included. Izou, Rayleigh, Shakky, and maybe a couple others will get him to let go of the reins, but otherwise he'll maintain control.

Which can be a sight to see when you're including someone like Sabo, who likes control more than not, or Kid who doesn't have a submissive bone in his body (Marco'll joke that he'll shove one in his ass if it'll make him feel better.)

Sabo:

He's not against it, but he's not overly open with it either. With Sabo it has to be someone he's gotten to know and trust, and much like Marco the first few times he's not going to be keen on relinquishing control.

Marco, Ace and Law I feel are on his short list. When it's Ace or Law it's always a bit of a power struggle between him and them (I'm just here for the ride lol ) - but it's not really much of a competition when it's Marco. Though to rank it a little more clearly, Law doesn't want to give up control as much as Sabo, it can get heated (they communicate so heated in a good way), Ace is more likely to fold than to fold Sabo, but I don't think he really minds it. I think he just knows Sabo likes the challenge, and I crumble like a house of cards.

Spicy self-ship asks

[slxsherwriter]

Let the Games Begin

Fandom: Death Count

Pairings: The Warden x reader

Word count: 2, 090

Warnings: Mentions of non-con surgery, death, injury

Author's Note: Honestly, I don't know what this is or where it came from. Was sort of just possessed by the idea. For the few that have watched the movie. Hopefully, you enjoy!

The poor lighting was just the kicker to the entirely poor set up. While it was nothing new, it never made it easier to deal with and most certainly always made the time limit almost impossible to meet. Biting the inside of your cheek, you forced the needle through the skin, moving both as quick and carefully as you dare. One mistake with the little hair sensitive triggers on the devices and it would be the last thing that you ever did.

“One of these days, one of these assholes is going to wake up in the middle of this and cause a whole load of trouble for the both of us.” A low chuckle was the response, sound simultaneously dark and amused. One that demanded attention, urged you to have your eyes pull away from the careful task that you were carrying out, but you managed to ignore it. By the skin of your teeth.

“With that skill that you have? It's hardly something I am worried about. For your peace of mind, however, I have plans in place, doc.” If there wasn't some level of trust in the man that was mulling around behind you, you wouldn't have been here at all, partaking in this. With precision and care that came from years of practice, you managed to cut the last suture, leaving the small tail of line outside the body.

“I'm not actually surprised by that statement. Flattered by the compliment, but not surprised that you had contingency plans in place.” Leaning back, you observed the clean line of sutures with a critical eye for just a second longer. By the seventh and eighth individual, your hands cramped a bit, and your eyes were feeling the strain. But you were finished. Your back cracked as you straightened, a satisfying pop that relieved some tension.

“Good work, as always doc.” James appeared in your peripheral as you were tossing the sharps and your bloodied gloves away. Admiring your work and the action was enough to spark a sense of pride. As twisted as that was. Funny to think that this wasn't what life was always like. Helping out mass murders and criminals had once seemed like too far-fetched an idea to entertain. Yet, here you were.

It was only when you had tossed the remaining tools in your small bag that you turned your full attention to James. The man was mostly dressed for his little game, simply missing his mask. A rare occurrence even outside the games, something that you had come to learn over the last several months. He was lifting the last body up and over shoulder for placement in the room, making the action almost seem effortless. A sight that you had come to appreciate more and more as you spent an increased amount of time with the man. More so than most of your other clients.

“Besides, you really think that I would let anything happen to you?” You were pulled out of your wandering thoughts about the man in question when he spoke. Blinking, you were quick to shake your head so that he didn't suspect that you were too lost in thought. Thankfully, muscle memory had guided you through the clean-up process, so you hadn't simply been standing there like an absolute idiot.

“No, no, I don’t.” Which was a genuine response. If it was within his power, you really didn't think that he would let anything happen. His keeping you safe was what had brought you closer together in the first place. A memory that wasn't worth bringing up this very second.

“There you go.” As if it was as simple as that. Which, really, perhaps you should just accept as something simple. Absently washing your hands, you openly observed James for a long second this time. He was leaning against the doorframe to the room, arms relaxed as they lay across his chest. Watching you the way that you had been watching him. Not another word was shared as the typical clean-up process was continued. There wouldn’t be all that much time before his victims woke up and the games began. Something that you did your best not to stick around for when it could be helped. Not that you didn't have the stomach for it at this point, but it wasn't particularly something that you enjoyed. What little time off that you were able to get after such tasks was better spent grabbing some food and heading home to relax.

“The passageway is clear for you to make your way out.”

“I appreciate it.”

“Got everything you brought?”

“Yeah, all packed up and ready to go. Need anything else before I head out?” He shook his head, not giving a verbal response. At least seven people were going to die tonight, and you had a hand in that. Something that should have bothered you more than it did. But that was what this line of work brought. Never would you have thought that life as a trauma medic would bring you into the world of criminals and serial killers. Yet, here you were, blood on your hands. It was only figuratively at the moment, but seconds ago, quite literally too.

“Stay safe tonight, yeah?”

“Always do.” Out of everyone that you had met in this little fucked up life that you had craved out for yourself, admittedly, James was the most careful. Rare was it that he needed serious help from you. More often than it, it was a need for some simple sutures for a wound just deep enough to require them. Or the need for some disinfecting and a bandage. Bag tossed over your shoulder, you were already thinking about where to stop for food as you passed by, only stopping when there was a soft touch of warm fingers to your wrist. “You get home safe.” There was something else on the tip of his tongue, which made you wait a few moments longer. A timer on his wrist went off before whatever it was could be spoken aloud, the moment entirely ruined. He cleared his throat and dropped his hand from your wrist. Giving him a smile, you slipped from the doorway and followed the familiar path upward, through some winding hallways and staircases towards the main floor and ultimate freedom. Maybe one of those that you had worked on would be following the same path, maybe they wouldn't. Not a thought to focus on since it was entirely out of your hands.

****************************

The next day came about with no necessary plans or tasks to handle. A rare day off where you were free to do what you wished. Which meant, you opted for a little bit of a sleep in. Something that abruptly ended when the door slammed open, bouncing off the opposite wall with a loud thud. The sound was enough to jolt you from your sleep, heart beating wildly in your chest. No one was in your room, evident as you wildly looked around. A crashing sound came from the hallway, signaling more trouble. Shit. Shit! Scrambling for the gun that you had been gifted, you managed to find the cold barrel as another crash echoed out.

The work that you did occasionally brought trouble. Never to your home, only to the space that was used as a makeshift treatment slash surgery suite that was paid for by someone else that used your services. To have someone in your home was disturbing and terrifying at minimum. As you carefully cracked the door open, you heard a pained groan echoing out through the hall. Not a sound that you would have associated with someone breaking into the home to harm you. Silence would be expected. So that you would not have been able to tell where they were.

Waiting for another few seconds, straining to hear anything else that would have come. But there was nothing. No more movement, no more pained groans, nothing. As quietly as you could, you opened the door the rest of the way. You gave it another pause. Still nothing. Okay, you could do this. Letting out a slow breath, you began to move through the house.

A familiar lump of black and glint of silver appeared around the corner when you entered the living room. James was sprawled out on your couch, face a bit bloodied and clutching at what was likely a wound that needed immediate treatment.

“Jesus Christ….”

“Hey doc. Sorry to drop in…” Ignoring the attempt at being more lighthearted than the situation called for, you were setting the gun down and moving back towards the bathroom to grab whatever supplies you had here. Which, unfortunately, wasn't a whole lot but should have been just enough to properly patch the man up. No questions asked about how it had all happened or what had gone wrong between when you left and this morning. He wouldn't be likely to tell you anyway.

“Just…stay still. Let me see how bad it all is.” Focus, you needed to focus. Easier said than done when woken thinking someone was breaking into your home to kill you. A steady breath and settling down on the table beside the couch helped you work towards that. “Is there anything besides the two areas that I'm seeing?” You were going to have to take the mask off to get a better assessment of the wound on his face. Really, the metal should have protected that half of his face, but things didn't always work out that way. He was here, in your home, laying bloodied on your couch after all.

“No, nowhere else.” For a second, you doubted the sincerity of the answer but ended up taking it at face value since you needed to be focused on figuring out how he was wounded and the best way to treat it. “And no, no one followed me here either. Made sure of it.” Admittedly, that had been the very next question you had been ready to ask. Though, it was a rather logical next inquiry so it wasn't surprising that he had the response ready. You nodded.

“Good. Gives me time to properly patch you up then.” Fingers grasped the edge of the mask and hesitated for only a moment before getting the okay from him. The slash wasn't terrible but would require some sutures to be able to heal properly. It would scar but hopefully you could manage to make sure that lasting result would be minimal.

“This isn't too bad.” Before you could handle that, you had to assess the other. The one that you guessed is more serious than what you had already seen, given the light blood flow from between fingers. “Gonna have to get a good look at that before we figure out how we tackle getting you as good as new, James.” The set of his jaw spoke to the level of pain that was being experienced at the moment. Slowly, his fingers peeled away from his side. The wound was obvious and not good looking, causing you to suck some air between your teeth. It was not good and probably required more than what you had here but you would have to make due. Take care of it, the mantra repeated in your head, then you can run out for more supplies.

“I thought you said that I didn't need to worry about you,” you hummed out as you worked on carefully pulling away the cloth that was stuck to the wound. Gloves be damned at the moment. Getting it treated was primary. A pained little laugh came from him, a hand raising to brush some hair from his forehead. Sweat lined that space at the hairline itself. “I'll give you something for the pain in just a minute okay? I'm sorry. I know this can't feel good.”

“It's fine. Just….” He shook his head. Another little laugh. “Funny that it took this to get myself to your home.” Now, that caught you off guard. Your eyes shot upward from the wound to his face. He was serious. Giving you a half a smile, as if to say what of it, he laid his head back down and fell silent so that you could work. Right, work, you had to close him up. Pushing back the thought so that you could focus, you pulled on some gloves to wash out the wound.

“Don't think we are talking about that statement.”

“Wouldn't expect any less.”

[amysubmits]

Hi Amy, I like being spanked as a punishment, it’s not so much sexual as it is about the feeling of being taken care of and held accountable. The closest thing I would describe how I feel when getting a punishment spanking is probably the ddlg dynamic, except I don’t enjoy being treated like a little girl outside of a spanking. And the reason why I would equate how I feel with ddlg is because I like the idea of getting a spanking because I broke a rule, like I forgot to take my medicine, or I didn’t do my homework or I watched too much tv and other things that are bad for me. So being spanked feels like I’m being taken care of. Somehow this feels icky even to me, and I have trouble finding the right words to explain how I feel. I’ve told him I like being spanked and he thinks it’s mainly for sexual reasons. And as soon as I whimper he stops because he thinks I want it to stop or he’s hurting me. Even though I explained to him that spanking is supposed to hurt and it’s ok if I resist a little and cry a little. But he’s expecting someone who’s really turned on when being spanked and my reactions make him come to a full stop every time. How should I explain or phrase this to him so he would understand? Honestly I don’t really understand why I feel this way either and it feels icky to me too that I want to be punished and then comforted like a helpless child

Hey Anon,

Sorry it took me a bit to get to this.

I can recall being in a place sort of similar to where you're at, in that I had a few things that I knew about my D/s desires, but they didn't seem to fit perfectly into any of the dynamic examples that I found online - and that bothered me. A big part of me wished I could find some specific label or even just one other couple who were doing exactly what I thought I wanted and needed. I think I was seeking validation for my feelings and desires, basically.

But, I never really found anyone else who was exactly like me, or another D/s dynamic that was exactly like mine. And I think that's pretty much everyone's experience. I think the labels we use like DD/g or M/s and so on, are just sort of general ideas, so it makes sense for most people to find some elements from some D/s types that they relate to, and others that they don't.

Part of what that means is, you're unlikely to find a specific label or D/s style that you can tell to your husband and have him 100% understand exactly what you want or exactly what you're asking for.

Instead, you're likely to have to do a ton of explaining and discussing. If you haven't done so already, then sharing with him something really similar to what you shared with me here could be a great conversation to start with.

Getting from where you're at, to where you want to be with your mutual understanding of D/s, will likely be a series of conversations rather than just one. Which can be hard if you aren't used to that type of really open communication...or if you have shame or insecurity related to your desires. But, I hope you'll find that it's really well worth the work involved. It can lead to really deep intimacy in the end.

With your use of words like 'icky', it sounds to me like you're struggling with some shame related to your desires. I think that would be a good thing to let him know, so that he can recognize that this is a sensitive topic for you and so that you can both try to proceed with caution.

I think a lot of subs and a lot of kinky people struggle with shame about why they are the way they are, or why they have the kinks that they have, etc. For me, something that helped a lot was making friends within the community here on tumblr. For some reason, it's easier to judge ourselves for our desires than it is other people. Finding a friend who also likes to feel watched over or held accountable by their partner can make it easier to accept that in yourself, sometimes.

I think his hesitance to spank you more or harder makes sense given that he is seeing this as a sexual thing, and you aren't. If he thinks of spanking as something where a sub/bottom would be more of a "pain puppy" who would be going "fuck yeah, hit me harder Daddy!' with a huge smile on her face, then it's understandable why his brain is telling him "This is bad, I should stop!" when you are reacting with whimpers or just don't seem to be having a blast.

It is a really good thing that he is erring on the side of caution rather than risking harming you emotionally or physically. I'd suggest explicitly telling him that you don't want him to stop just because you make a noise or wince or similar. Reassure him that you will use your safeword if you actually want him to stop. Or, if he already knows this but is still choosing to stop, you may discuss with him if he's insecure about if you really want it, or if it's just that he doesn't want it. Not everyone is comfortable with spanking their partner to the point of discomfort or in scenarios that are not sexual. It might be a limit for him, and if that's the case, it's important for you to know that.

I don't think there is really any "perfect wording" to assist with getting someone to understand what you want. I think that focusing on how you're wanting to feel is often a really good thing to cover. A lot of times hesitance about Ds or BDSM activities from the dom or top side comes from not wanting to mistreat us. Which again, is a GOOD thing. Such a good thing to have a partner who has those protective instincts. Anyway - individual people's interests in the exact same acts can vary so much...and sometimes explaining how XYZ makes you feel or how you're wanting to feel, can go a long way to easing fears. For example, someone might worry that spanking their partner might make them feel afraid, abused, worthless. If you instead explain that you think it will make you feel small, watched over and loved - that might make a meaningful difference to their perception of this act. And this is true for so many other aspects of D/s and other kinks as well.

Something else that I'd suggest discussing is how you're interested in trying these things because of how you think they'll make you feel. But sometimes the reality of things feeling different than we thought they would. And so as you explore new experiences, you can discuss how it felt afterwards. That way, you can both keep in the loop about how each thing is actually making you feel, and you can decide whether or not to repeat those experiences as you go. Trying something once doesn't mean you'll have to do it forever if it turns out that it doesn't actually feel the way you wanted it to. Sometimes we only learn what really works for us through trial and error, and that's perfectly fine as long as we just keep in good communication throughout.

My last suggestion would be to include his side of the experience in this conversation. Let him know how it's important to you that he doesn't do anything he is too uncomfortable with. Let him know that you don't want him to feel like a 'bad guy' or like he's mistreating you. Let him know that you want him to keep communicating with you about how these experiences feel for him, too. Let him know that while you have some specific hopes/goals/dreams, that you also want to incorporate his interests/desires/goals/dreams into the dynamic too. Ideally, over time you'll find ways for it to feel like this dynamic meets some of his needs, too.

I hope something in here helped! Best of luck to you. :)

[light-wynd]

Rambling About Menthe and Elphane

(Alternatively: My Exams Got Postponed But I'm Still In Too Much Pain to Draw, So Here I Am, Going On About My Favorite Melusines For Entirely Too Long)

Yeah. I think about these two in particular a lot, and just wanted to talk about... basically everything I could think of that I felt was worth mentioning regarding them (and a bit about Aeval too) to take my mind off of feeling like shit, along with a few general thoughts and speculations based on what we know about them.

Putting this under the cut, not because it's got story spoilers or anything (I don't think it does anyway), but because it's longer than anything I've posted before.

Does this qualify as a character analysis? Idk man I'm not a writer, I'm not confident enough to call it that.

Think I'll just begin with Menthe since I have the biggest soft spot for her - I honestly relate to her a lot more than I like to admit, and just... really want to give her a hug, she could probably use one. All we ever really see her do is stand there sighing to herself at Arouet's café, drinking tea and coffee just to keep herself awake. It's a stark contrast from how we see the other Melusines act, to say the least - not to mention how much trouble she seems to be having with adjusting to human society in comparison to them too. She's really bothered by how large everything in the city is (and that everything that is actually her size was made for young children). She's struggling with her job in the Gardiennage and thinking about finding a different one, even if there aren't a lot of options she's suited for when it comes to "human work". She even wishes her body was more humanoid like Sigewinne's if it could make these things any easier, and there's just something heartbreaking about that - not to mention her constant exhaustion. Yeah, poor thing's not doing great. The fact that she says she was initially very enthusiastic to integrate into human society makes it all even sadder - all these difficulties must have hit her particularly hard.

For this next point, I feel like I should include this screenshot from the café's message board (there's a couple more entries about her, but this is the most relevant one):

The thing about that is, all the other Melusines working for the Gardiennage must've encountered pretty similarly disturbing things just by the nature of the job, investigating crime scenes and all that - and yet only Menthe seems to be affected by it this deeply, judging by how cheerful the others act and how casually they talk about their work. This makes me think that she's either had some sort of traumatic experience that's unique to her (especially from the wording of "unfathomable darkness"), or that it all just gets to her more than the others for some reason. Either way, it would certainly explain why she'd like to change jobs - and I genuinely hope she manages to one day, for the sake of her well-being. Maybe she really will end up working in the infirmary together with Sigewinne despite her worries about the inmates not taking kindly to her, who knows. (Also I gotta say, when I first saw her "maybe I should just go underwater" line, I thought she meant she was thinking about giving up on human society and going back to Merusea Village - but of course she's talking about the infirmary in the Fortress of Meropide. Still, it does kind of sound like that is the last option she can think of when it comes to work she could do, which is a bit worrying in its own way.)

As for the adorably grumpy Elphane... can't really talk about her without bringing up Aeval too, they're a package deal after all. Most folks seem to assume that Aeval is the newer tour guide of the two, considering how enthusiastic she is, but funnily enough it's actually the opposite! (Probably just by a few days at most, but still.) It's easy to miss this since their aquabus dialogues seem pretty randomized and there's a lot of them, but these two both used to work for the Gardiennage as well - and apparently, Elphane was "the ace up the Marechaussee Phantom's sleeve", while Aeval on the other hand presumably didn't do so great (according to Talochard's quest, being assigned as a tour guide is what happens to a Melusine who's bad at being an investigator - and yeah, honestly I can see how that would be the case here). So first, Aeval got "promoted" to the aquabus (in her own words... guess nobody had the heart to tell her otherwise), which upset Elphane so much that she just quit her job - while on track to a high-paying promotion to the Opera Epiclese, mind you -, put on a new uniform and got on the aquabus with Aeval. Of course, they ultimately ended up assigned to separate lines, but at least they're colleagues again. It's pretty clear that Elphane isn't enjoying this job whatsoever, but she keeps doing it anyway for Aeval, and is still fairly skilled at it in her own way.

So yeah, Elphane is actually incredibly sweet and caring... when it comes to Aeval anyway. Hell, she even recommends that you visit Aeval's line at any chance she gets - whether it's for better commentary, a friendlier guide or just a more photo-ready aquabus, she directs you there. She genuinely seems to look up to her, and maybe even wishes she could do a better job as a guide like her deep down. Something that could point to this is that she gets very flustered by compliments, which might indicate that - unlike Aeval - she doesn't get a lot of positive feedback, so she's not quite sure how to handle it. Aeval looks up to her quite a lot too, and they seem to do pretty much everything together when they're off work (including shopping for cute clothes, which Elphane vehemently denies her interest in, ahahah) - I'm not sure what their relationship is, they just refer to each other as colleagues and Elphane being Aeval's senior, but they're clearly very close and it's absolutely precious. This is even reflected in their designs: they both have a very similar pink-blue color scheme too, just with Elphane being predominantly pink with blue accents and Aeval being the other way around - their uniforms included - and even their eyes are complementary colors to each other. Really cute way to show both their connection while also highlighting their personalities being pretty much opposites.

One last thing I want to point out is that both Menthe and Elphane struggle with their jobs in their own way, and seem to be among the few Melusines to really do so to this extent in the current time - but probably the biggest difference is that while Elphane doesn't show all that much enthusiasm or effort towards her work, it's kind of implied that Menthe on the other hand is overworking herself, judging by Arouet's comments on her constant mental and physical exhaustion. Of course, it could also be that she just has no energy because of how depressed she is - but in any case, she's doing her best to keep it together and power through it despite everything.

Aaand that would be all for... whatever this was. If even a single soul has actually read this whole thing, thank you so much, that alone makes having posted this feel worth it! And if anyone wants to talk Melusines, I'd be more than happy to ^^

[z0urcherri]

Not really a full review but just the thoughts at the forefront of my mind If they'd of just cut some horror references (Shining elevator especially) down into shorter scenes (it'd also work as an unobtrusive background element) AND made it easier to tell apart future and past characters that happen to be in the same scene together, this film would honestly be damn near perfect. It was still an enjoyable experience, though. Alot of scenes genuinely come close to freaking me out, like the respawn terminal failure. Having a fully voice acted cast and some custom models was a treat, i just don't see why some were custom and some were just Scout with a mustache slapped on. Plus, in the funeral scene, it's too noticeable how detailed Redmond and Blutarch are compared to everyone else in the room. I joked at one point that they blew the character budget on those two and couldn't afford to detail everyone else. The voice direction also felt lacking, with certain actors (excluding Scout's and Soldier's bc DAMN i actually asked a couple times if they got Rick, posthumously, and Nathan to do the voice work) focusing more on sounding as much as they could like the original mercs than the actual performance. Mind you i'm not saying they did a BAD job, they did after all do a fantastic job with the emotional line deliveries. Usually, you would complain about the cartoony art style of TF2 clashing with someone's high-end attempt to make the shots photorealistic or so, but since Fortress Films went to all the trouble of touching up everything with grit and keeping it consistent throughout scenes, it honestly works well even if non-TF2 models end up being used. The contrast actually fits. The plot...honestly, again, this is where i wish certain horror tropes got cut way down. Did we really need a whole scene of zombie mercs doing stereotypical zombie things? I don't even think it added anything to the plot, it just happened and was pretty easy to forget right after they're all killed. It's just how it never gets referenced again once it's over. I'm...also not really a fan of the shoehorned Christian imagery around the end. It's basically another trope and again it added pretty much nothing. It's also fun trying to figure out who can and can't actually die. This, ironically, might be the only thing from the zombie scene worth any salt, if the implication is RED mercs zombify after some time while BLU just infinitely respawns (Jules wouldn't be dead and therefore would not need saving if this were the case, which is inch resting) The attention to detail otherwise is fantastic. I keep finding parallels i didn't catch the first time. Along with shots that are legit drop-dead GORGEOUS, or even cutting-edge as far as cinematography goes and are incredibly rare to see in other SFM animations, the mo-cap is some of the best i've seen. It's rough sometimes and makes for some funny facial expressions, but when it works it WORKS. The theatrical feel is just...unmatched. You almost wonder if Valve themselves produced this because of how good the scenes look. I was also really impressed with the sound design, and also the fire and water effects, prominent throughout the film. Obviously, i think the film was really, really good, it's just that some parts feel like this project started as a shitpost animation, before getting stitched together with the parts where the team decided "no, we need to put actual effort into this". I also don't understand why, if the soundtrack is an original composition, the artist couldn't be credited anywhere. Anyway, go see Emesis Blue and come back with your own thoughts.

[mamamittens]

You know, June is a really strange time for me.

As part of pride month, it kinda makes me reflect on my own very weird journey about my own sexuality and identity. Even now, I'm not entirely sure I have it all figured out. I just kinda ended up sliding in pieces that make the most sense.

Pieces I didn't even pick up until way later than most of my peers, though I know it's not nearly as late as many others.

I literally didn't even consider my sexuality until college as part of a preparation for possibly talking to a guy about if I was interested like I suspected he was. He was and I very much was not. Literally didn't occur to me that it was odd I'd never initiated romance or had crushes before that point. I mean, I had one. In kindergarten with my then best friend because I thought he was cute and funny.

I still remember him fondly but we didn't talk after first grade lol, so that didn't go anywhere.

Then there was the introspection and research as I realized my experience wasn't normal but also was? Like, demi sexuality isn't the norm by any means, but it's hardly crazy. Some part of me was always this way, just compounded by my asocial nature in such a way it literally never came up until one dude on the verge of taking the red pill tried smoozing me for two whole months.

And I didn't realize until near the end of that time. I just liked talking to someone new. It was nice.

Bullet dodged, he was convicted with DV charges a few years after, yikes.

Then again, summer tends to be when I do the most introspection.

Had an ongoing panic attack for June and July a few years back, which was... Something.

Realized I was very likely autistic about two years ago now, like, RAD-S score of 163 kinda likely lmao (thanks for not telling me you opted to not get me tested, mom, I appreciate the sentiment but damn would I have approached certain things differently if I knew from the start my baseline wasn't the norm).

I've come a long way from the little girl on the swings who liked the boy she considered her best friend for maybe a month. The very lost but well intentioned young college student baffled by the void of interest compared to her peers. Someone more comfortable associating with an alien avatar cause my body didn't feel right in a way I couldn't explain. It's mine, I've grown in it for so long, but I hated so much of it. It took so long to appreciate what I have. To really look in the mirror and think "that's me. It's me. Despite everything... It's still me".

I'm still not sure how much I identify with feminine aspects. I feel "female" simply because that's what I've got. And I do think I'd be a bit thrown if I suddenly was physically male (dicks sound like more trouble than they're worth, honestly). I don't think I'd hate it beyond inconveniences though.

It's just so... Casual for me? Not serious? Apathetic. If you called me sir irl I'd laugh cause it's hard to not notice my tits, but I wouldn't be offended.

As for sexuality... I like the idea of romance. Of a partner. But I've never hung my hat on an ideal partner, really. Partly because for the longest time I could never imagine anyone wanting me like that. Why would they? I'm not hideous but I'm hardly worth the trouble in any aspect. Better fish out there and all that.

Just a weird little alien looking at the stars.

But I'm working on that.

Still tooling the words to describe what it's like being "me".

It's not been smooth, this journey. I've felt silly, and stupid, and unwanted. I've hated my reflection and the numbers on a scale. Wondered what I was missing that others had and let them experience all these crucial steps to growing up.

Sometimes I still do.

But I've begun to settle in my skin like I never could before. Even the ugly parts.

Pride months is a time to celebrate and reflect on the LGBTQ+

The people, the struggles, the victories.

I'm ill prepared to do an event at this time, but I hope that you all take a moment to appreciate how far into your own journeys you are. And I hope that you all find peace in your reflections and names and labels (should you use them, change them, or even come back to them after a time), no matter how different they are from the start.

The only one who can decide what you are, what kind of person you are, is yourself. You're the one who will have to wear and walk in those shoes.

And I hope you travel far in them, and see many beautiful, wonderful things.

"...It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll.

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul."

William Ernest Henley, "Invictus", 1888

[dcwnthercbbithcle]

🎔 + Sally/Carmina ~ @who-is-muses

Send Me 🎔 + A Ship And I'll Tell You || ACCEPTING! (Please only send in blog ships though!)

@who-is-muses

Who wins a prize at a carnival/fair/festival: OKAY HEAR ME OUT, I'm saying Sally, BUT that's not to say they aren't both competing! I imagine it's the complete opposite! Sally and Carmina walking by hand in hand, Carmina makes a sound of excitement seeing the booths and games and she traces to Sally in their shared touch language what she's seeing! Sally is excited for her and encourages her to go ahead! For old times sake! Life is too fleeting to deny yourself the simple pleasure of trying to beat a rigged game from your childhood!

Carmina pays for a couple of tries but after her first, she passes the ball to Sally to have a try. Sally, for obvious reasons is flushed, embarrassed, she's blind Mina, she can't play. But Carmina does her little, birdie laugh and shakes her head, she puts her hands over Sally's on the ball and guides her into position to shoot. Really, Sally would be doing all the work, she's just directing her!

Sally is giggling, partially because of the compromising, tooth rottingly romantic position of it all, and also because she genuinely never thought of it, and it's silly and fun! So unbecoming of a lady like herself, but who gives a damn?! IN the end she shoots, the poor underpaid carnie ducking for cover, and somehow she gets it right in! Winning the prize! The prize wasn't the real victory though, Sally got to play and Carmina got that nostalgic rush of joy with her lover. They pass the stuffed animal they get to a child they think would love it more and go on, having the best sort of day!

Who does most of the cooking: Carmina! But this is because Sally often forgets or forgoes feeding herself for almost full days on end. Carmina is just the only one to remember, plus, in addition to this, Sally is from Newfoundland circa. the 1800s, which is to say the only spice she really uses is SALT. Poor Carmina doesn't deserve such a fate, she'll cook and show Sally the Better Ways. SADJADASD

Who does most of the shopping: Sally honestly! I don't have much justification for it, but I feel like she powers through the chores in a way that leaves Mina in love and awe at the efficiency and her ability to politely, kindly and warmly side-step conversation attempts and people's stares!

Who is hopeless at board games: Depends on the boardgame!! Narrative style boardgames like Clue and more strategic ones like Settlers of Catan or Risk are Carmina's BANE but Sally loves them so so much, of course it doesn't help that she clears house at them! Meanwhile, Sally finds that she really is hopeless at sillier boardgames because she overthinks them a ton, and card games in general because she has NO POKER FACE!

Who is always trying to make the other laugh: Carmina <333, Sally is always so forelorn and morose, no one can blame her but the demons and weight she carries are obvious. It makes those sweet times when she laughs so honestly and giggles worth their weight in gold! Sally loves making Carmina laugh too, those sounds she makes are perfection, but, with Carmina, she loves knowing that she can take Sally away from her troubles to a happier place with just the two of them.

Who has a tendency to give out TMI: NEITHER, I MEAN LOOK AT THESE GIRLS, I think if they did anything more than a nuzzle and a kiss in public that they would faint on the spot like true Victorian Ladies!

Who does more DIY projects: HMMMM, I don't know! Maybe neither? I know Carmina has her art projects and endeavors, but I'd hardly call them DIY, it's just art! And Sally, well, Sally may have been a 'I'll do it all by myself,' once upon a time, but she's old and tired of her own bullshit at this point. She's not gonna DIY unless she knows damn well she's an expert at the thing, otherwise she's hiring in a professional.

Who is the big spoon: CARRRRMINA!!!!! Carmina cuddles around Sally, she is so small and she loves to feel that kind of protecting, grounding presence around her!

Who gives more casual affection: HMMMM, I'd say equal measures but just cause Sally is Kinda Weird about affection and has her limits. Typically Carmina initiates it more but they read each other both in body language and language language a lot and often when touching is to be done, they do it as one!

Who reads to whom: Sally to Carmina! Sally likes to read Carmina her braille books and journals! Sally likes to share in that way, even though with her throat and breathing issues, the task may take her years!

Who brings drinks and food without being asked: Carmina!!! Car brings Sally snacks when she's in the zone and places it down as a loving reminder and will give Sally a loving little nuzzle before she heads off to do her thing again!

[whoevers-listening]

My Mom is a Trans Ally

I've known who I am for years...if I felt safe to and felt like I'd be accepted by the people most important to me, I'd be out of the closet as a trans masc.

I have been out before, for well over a year in fact. at first my mom and siblings were okay with it but quickly my brother began to make negative comments about the LGBTQ+ community and threatening to fight me physically because apparently that's what it is to be a man. my dad was never supportive, he refused to use my name and pronouns, he told me I was confused and stressing everyone out for no reason. He told me I was crazy and that I would probably end up being murdered if I continued to "pretend". My sister was indifferent which I respected and my mom was always support. she caught onto pronouns and my name the fastest out of anyone. I don't know why exactly but I began to think that my gender identity was more trouble than it was worth. I started to believe that everyone was going to leave me...including my mom who was my biggest support. I believed began to believe that my mom was only being supportive because she felt obligated to and that she secretly resented me.

needless to say, I went back in the closet. It hurt and I lost myself again but in some ways it was easier because I wasn't receiving eternal judgement. I went back to using my deadname and figured I'd get used to it even though I never had, not even before coming out the first time. My deadname feels so disconnected from me and it's a startling reminder that I am pretending once again every time some one uses my deadname to address me. it sounds so strange to me because that's not what I think of myself as.

the other day, my mom, siblings and I were joking around about how my brother is my mom's favorite out of her kids. she replied by saying that I was her favorite when I had been out as a trans man. this simple comment filled me with more happiness than I've felt in years. It was so validating and I went to bed smiling that night which isn't something I've done in a LONG time.

it's nice to know that she sees me...she's mentioned before that she's noticed a change in my mood since going back in the closet. she's mentioned how I isolate more and how angry I am all the time. I think she knows and it makes me feel so grateful to have her. I feel understood, validated, seen and loved. I know now that if I were to come out and everyone hated me, she'd be there for me.

I honestly don't know why I believed she resented me...I remember being out and how she would talk about me and introduce me to people. We reconnected with my mom's side about a year into my coming out and my grandmother refused to use my preferred name and pronouns...I was expecting it because of how my dad and his side had treated me and was going to just stay quiet but my mom stepped in and stood up for me. when my nana declared that I would always be her granddaughter, my mom physically removed me from the situation and apologized, she told me that I didn't have to put up with people like that. that wasn't the only time either...she informed out landlords and often corrected them. she and I would celebrate when I passed in public and laugh together because often time people thought I was a preteen boy.

I miss that...even though I got so much hate from so many other people...my mom was always supportive and kind, ready to go to bat for me at any moment. I'm grateful to have her and I know now that when I am ready, she will be too.

[atwas-meme-ing]

Ok, so, since the Wii U and 3ds shops are gonna close down soon, I'm on a mission to collect all the fun Wii U and 3ds games I can find. Here's a list of what I think are some of the best download-only Wii U and 3ds games that I've found. I think most of these may also be on Switch, Steam, or other platforms. And a lot of these are available on both 3ds and Wii U.

3ds

All of the Sonic Game Gear/Master system games that are on 3ds: Sonic 1 and 2, Sonic Blast, Sonic Labyrinth, Triple Trouble, and Tails Adventure. If you don't have the original machines to play them on, then this is the best way to play these. Works so much better than online emulators.

Pretty much anything by Circle and Skipmore. So, the Witch and Hero trilogy, Fairune, Drancia Saga, Ambition of the Slimes. I know I'm forgetting some, but just filter by publisher and look up Circle and Skipmore. All their games are just sooooo fun. Most of them are pretty simple, you can get through them in a few hours, but you really should clear a few hours out of a single day when you sit down to play one because they are highly addictive. Especially Witch and Hero.

Quell: Memento. This is a fun puzzle game with a bittersweet story about a crotchety, old, reclusive man. Your goal is to get him to open up about his life.

Steamworld. Get the whole series, if you can. They are mostly platformer, metroidvania, and/or puzzle styled games where you play as steam-powered robots.

Legend of Dark Witch. Multiple ways to play, side-scrolling platformer game with some magical shooter elements.

Kingdom's Item Shop. This is so cute- you run a shop for magical and heroic items, and you have to go out and fight monsters to get more ingredients. You also get to craft new items.

Alchemic Dungeons. Nothing but dungeons, and you craft what you need as you go along.

Alphadia. High fantasy RPG, but with bioengineering sci-fi story elements.

Severed. Action game with dungeons where you sever monsters' limbs to get upgrades. Not as gross as it sounds.

Excave. It's a trilogy. Dungeon crawler. Cuz, come on, how can you not love dungeon crawlers?

Cursed ex Castilla. Basically a Ghosts 'n Goblins clone, but with its own story. And you can save your place, so that alone makes it worth it XD

Adventure Labyrinth Story. Another dungeon crawler.

Kemco RPG's. There's a bunch of them, and they all have good stories: ASH, Infinite Dunamis, Justice Chronicles... like I said, there's a bunch. Each one puts its own spin on the battle mechanincs.

Ninja Usagimaru. A series of puzzle games where you have to push, pull, and throw blocks to rescue villagers and defeat the monsters. Reminds me of an old block-pushing puzzle game I played years ago and can't remember the name of. Anyway, Usagimaru is fun.

Wii U

1001 Spikes. I'm pretty sure there's more spikes than that in this game X'D. NES-inspired pixel art action game. Get the treasure and escape, but don't stand in one place for too long.

Alphadia Genesis. Prequal to Alphadia (which I mentioned above for 3ds).

More Steamworld games.

Axiom Verge. It honestly looks like a Metroid clone, but Axiom Verge is its own story and has its own rules of gameplay and mechanics. And it ain't easy, by any means.

Bit Dungeon. Dungeon crawler. Yup, that's it, just dungeons. Go ahead, go nuts.

Dragon Fantasy. Highly comedic high fantasy RPG where you play as a bald, middle-aged former hero. There's a whole series. Looks like it was inspired by Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest, and Earthbound.

Defend Your Crypt. This game is backwards! So, usually, you would play as someone trying to break into a crypt to steal treasures, right? Well, in this game, you play as the ghost of a pharaoh who has to activate the traps to avoid getting his treasures stolen. Pixel-art.

Freedom Planet. Now, I know this game's on Steam and Switch, but if you have a little room on your Wii U and not on your Switch, you might want to try it. It's adorable, the characters are funny, the story is good, and it is so heavily inspired by Sega Genesis games.

Human Resource Machine. Stupid little game about the fundamentals of programming. Fun for anyone trying to learn computer science.

Master Reboot and Soul Axiom. These two are a set. They're somewhat minimalized first-person exploration/puzzle games set in one of those storylines where people have uploaded their consciousness into the cloud.

Space Hunted. As far as I know, this is ONLY on Wii U (and it may be the only game in my list that is only on Wii U). If you like the old NES sci-fi games, you HAVE to get this one! If it didn't have a copyright date of 2017, I would have sworn this was an original NES game. Not only are the music and the art true to the era, but it has a very simplistic menu style and it is just as hard as any NES sci-fi shootout I've ever tried.

NES Remix. You have the option to play missions and whole levels from the biggest NES hits (Mario, Kirby, Kid Icarus, Zelda, and more), but the real fun is the Remix levels. Some of them involve characters from one game ending up in another (so you have things like Mario's Boos chasing Kirby), while others have mixed-up versions of the original levels, like reversed or silhouetted levels. (The Kirby egg-eating level drove me nuts because the camera pans in closer and closer with every egg.) I do believe that NES Remix 1, 2, and Ultimate are only on 3ds and Wii U.

Nihilumbra. A spot of darkness escapes from the void and discovers beauty, life, and color, but he eventually develops an existential crisis as he realizes the void will destroy everything in its past as it attempts to reclaim him.

Xeodrifter. Hard. NES-inspired pixel art. Another game that reminds me of Metroid, but the art style is not cloned.

Swords and Soldiers. Strategy battle game, so stupid and hilarious and adorable. Pretty sure there's a whole series, I've only got the first one.

Pixel Slime U. Obviously developed by a true sadist. Pixel art, but there's no way you could confuse this with a retro NES game. Every level has a gimmick- some spin, some are upside-down, some switch from upside-down to right-side-up, and those are the easy ones. Only play if you're a glutton for punishment and you don't get motion sickness. I think it's only on Wii U, so get it while you can.

Olympia Rising. Play as the soul of a warrior trying to escape the rising ocean of acid in Hades. A bit tough.

Twisted Fusion. You've been transported to a world in the sky where all the monsters are allergic to water, so you use water guns to destroy them. And your character's phone has all these apps they can use to upgrade. Gameplay isn't too dynamic, but the setting of the game makes it enjoyable.

Castle Storm. Tower defense. Funny cutscenes, good graphics. Medieval knights vs. barbaric Vikings. But are the Vikings really that barbaric? And is it possible there's a traitor among Sir Gareth's men? Play to find out!

Giana Sisters: Twisted Dreams. The punk sister is stuck in the cutesy world and the cutesy sister is stuck in the punk world. Switch back and forth between them to escape back to reality.

Knytt Underground. Mountain-climbing game- you can climb walls like in Celeste, but there's no stamina limit (also no dash). Journey through the post-apocalyptic underground world as both a mute human and a bouncy ball to ring the 6 bells that will prevent the world from dying. I think Knytt might actually be a series, but this is the first one I've found.

And I'm actually still collecting and intend to get as many as I can right up until the shops close down. Will try to remember to update this list as I find more.

[conduitandconjurer]

We know that Klaus would rather stay in a toxic/abusive relationship than be alone. In that context, how are you interpreting Ben's "That's why you're always alone" line in S2?

Honestly I think that line is as much if not more about Ben at his worst than it is about Klaus.

Though understandable given the circumstances, it wasn't Ben's finest hour, tbh: particularly when you consider the sentence that precedes it: "Nobody wants to deal with your shit, Klaus." Because sure, everyone has their own struggle to deal with, BUT: who does that sound like?

I think the intention might have been a tough-love reminder that one's own choices are key to recovery....but lbr, sandwiched in with a hundred other rejections disguised as "I'm worried about you and really frustrated," it begins to sound like Reginald's "You're more trouble than you're worth." What complicates this is that, other than Reginald, the people who have said these things are speaking from their own poor emotional regulation and trauma (the other Umbrellas and some of the Sparrows). And that's incredibly tragic.

People who are (repeatedly) traumatized and ND (neurodivergent--ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, PTSD and C-PTSD, among others) hear those words in a thousand micro-aggressions a day, in a neurotypical world over which they have very little say or control. They can be as small as an angry sigh and eye-roll, a "shut up" or "this is an adult conversation" or "you always say stupid shit" or "you useless pukebag" or "just be the lookout." They begin to internalize the callousness and the projection, and BELIEVE the things others say or do to invalidate them, and make choices that self-fulfill the worst opinions that others have (which is why I get frustrated when I see yet another fan shitting on Klaus for "choosing" to return to bad relationships, or drink, or use, or simply walk away: "you are hopelessly broken, so why bother" is NOT an idea he planted in his own head). That's what has happened to Klaus, and it is why he is reluctant to step outside the methods he already knows how to utilize in order to keep going (including repeated patterns of enduring toxic relationships, with Dave as the sole canonical exception).

Yes, sometimes their own actions reinforce these invalidating remarks, BUT WHY? Because they have grown accustomed to being disregarded and ignored ANYWAY, so best to beat others to the punch and cut out some of the sting of another dismissal.

I don't think Ben understands that, because Ben is built to be a people-pleaser; Ben is traumatically obsessed with making the people he loves and admires proud. He struggles SO MUCH with this, and we see it most vividly in his Sparrow timeline, in which he absolutely despises himself and resents everyone around him just because Marcus, not him, is Number One. Ben, ironically, does not have Klaus's survival skills or adaptability. It's by the book or failure. It's all or nothing.

And his frustration with relying on someone who has been forced since AGE 8 to adapt to intolerable circumstances bubbles over in his third year stuck in the 1960s with Klaus the accidental cult-starter. He resents that Klaus can achieve a sustainable living situation by taking advantage of (frankly very willing and privileged) people. These aren't real relationships to Ben, so he boils over and aims his self-loathing outwards at the sibling he has helped survive for 17 years. "After all I've done for you," etc.

There is resentment for PERCEIVED (but I would argue, not real) ingratitude and there is jealousy: Klaus, "King of the Dead," is better at staying alive (even after overdosing a thousand times) than Ben, who died at sixteen indubitably trying to do something selfless.

Again, I can understand where he's coming from, but it's also unfortunate that Klaus's Jiminy Cricket voice has joined the throngs of "you're a fuck-up loser that no one will ever take seriously and you brought it entirely on yourself."

Which, incidentally, is a core belief that directly causes Klaus's initial decision to just stay dead, in 3x10.