#Which I doubt but like just in case...
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Man. At this point, I really just gotta log into my Tumblr account on Desktop since whenever I go on the Fazbear Frights Hashtag there, I just see that one person complaining...
#Luckily They Blocked Me for No Reason#So I don't see their Posts on Mobile#But Like...Man#Telling people the Ships they like are Bland isn't going to make people like your ships#You're just hurting people for no Reason#And getting mad and posting about the same issues like people Disliking Angel or something aren't really doing anything...#It's just bringing Negativity to the Tag#If they do ever see this post#Which I doubt but like just in case...#Just make The FF Content you Like and that'll get people wanting to see more of it#Post about Angel so you can find the fans who like it#Post about your Ships without putting others down#Or at the very least don’t tag your posts shitting on people's own likes and interests even if it's in a joking way#Idk- I'm just tired rn#Ok Edit to This:#I'm fine with people like... Critiquing the FF Books and Stuff#That's not the Problem and you can totally post that in tags#I'm moreso referring to this one person constantly complaining about OTHER People's FF Opinions#And it has gotten to the point where they just straight up insult the ships People like
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
149K notes
·
View notes
Text
I don’t think this is an unpopular opinions but lowkey fannon kailor is sm better than cannon kailor.
(Read the tags)
#I’m not even huge on kailor but I this thought just came into my head as I thought ab Sky#cuz I was thinking ab how it would be awesome if we got Skylor to come back at least for a cameo#but then I thought ab how sucky it would be if the show tried to keep on trying to push Kai and sky to be together#because it would feel so forced atp#the show just writes them so bad it just feels like everytime they bring Skylor back to the show#which is like- whenever there’s BIG emergencies#the writers remember that ‘hey! Skylor is also Kai’s love interest! let’s give them some cute moments together!’#it’s like they’re not even trying 💀#and even in the book ‘quest for the lost powers’ they were *KINDAA* cute but tbh the way Kai acted w Skylor pissed me off#and I love Kai btw but damn reading their part made me feel like she deserves better 😭#but if they really tried#they could actually make a great couple#srs#which is why fannon content for them is sm better#but I feel like usually that’s the case for most fandoms or shows#so that’s why I doubt it’s an unpopular opinion#and tbh it would also be interesting to see Kai just admit that his past relationship failed and that’s ok#portray a healthy breakup that would be awesome 🔥🔥#but that’s just my personal opinion and my desire to see more complex relationships and stuff like that lol#lego ninjago#ninjago dragons rising#ninjago#dragons rising#ninjago dr#Ninjago Kai#Kai Ninjago#skylor ninjago#ninjago skylor#kailor#kai x skylor
57 notes
·
View notes
Text
Piper and Danse friendship is like the platonic version of that married couple where the husband says nothing and the wife is the chattiest most extroverted person and you cannot imagine how they found each other let alone end up as a pair.
But like he knows her favorites and the one joke, the one time you heard him speak mind you, he made had her dying with laughter cause it was specifically for her. Or she can tell exactly how he’s feeling despite the same expression for every emotion and you swear she made a comment and try corners of his mouth lifted.
Like they are those two that bonded not because they were alike but because they were so different what they did like together made them grow much closer.
#like I doubt either of them were hostile to each other before or after bb because Piper honestly embodies#a lot of values Danse respects and wants to foster for himself just more expressive in pipers case#she’s nosey and prying enough to not back down from him when he’s forlorn after BB but aware enough how fragile he actual is now#they would be good friends that some people think are dating just because guy and girl who always hang out but it’s more like piper is#shit talking some corrupt asshole and anti corporation and corruption Danse is like yes Ms Wright you make very insightful points#yeah I feel like no matter how long you know Danse he calls everyone by their last name unless he’s super relaxed which is hard for him even#after he’s like less traumatized by BB cause he just has regular solider PTSD too#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#piper wright#paladin danse
69 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just wanna run this poll since pride month is right around the corner if anyone cares cause I genuinely have no solid hc for her sexuality
the reason this is just orientation with (can be + aspec) is cause I wanna run a second poll in the reblogs for her specific aspec identity if you have a hc for that, so even if you hc as aroace lesbian or arobi or anything just click lesbian or bi
CLICK HERE FOR THE ASPEC POLL IN THE REBLOGS
#osrs.txt#hazbin velvette#hazbin hotel velvette#velvette#velvette hazbin#velvette hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel#I added a straight option which I doubt anyone hcs but like... just in case LMAO#hey if she's aspec het she's still queer so#hazbin polltel
115 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tuesday sweetie I'm so sorry, that some ratchet dolls like Kitty and Lydia would even treat you like that oh my GOD.
#uglydolls#uglydolls kitty#uglydolls lydia#uglydolls tuesday#another ''extra'' from my kitty comic a few years back#sorry for another case of ''no new art!''#the ecology comic did drain some of my driving force but it's not like i don't have ideas... just no clue which one or when to start#in the meantime my anxiety levels have been at an all-time low and i'm taking advantage of it#i doubt that 'not drawing' has anything to do with it because i am thinking about what i want to draw ''when i get around to it''#just a strange boost of energy that's not being burned on freaking out over the universe for once lmao#i have theories but that's neither here nor there
90 notes
·
View notes
Text
If I see one more post shitting on Percy for being "your average white gym bro frat boy" while praising annabeth for being the "kindest, most empathetic and selfless person ever" I will actually lose it
#did we read the same books???#how do you fuck up the characters this bad??#Percy is not white#he's not a gym bro#and he's most definitely not a frat boy#I'm sure annabeth has her moments but to call her *selfless* of all things sure is a take#it's a terrible one but yk#don't get me wrong#there's nothing wrong with being selfish#so long as you're decisions/actions aren't hurting anybody (which annabeth constantly is#the be as selfish as you want#there's absolutely nothing wrong with putting yourself first to ensure your own wellbeing#anti annabeth#anti annabeth chase#< just in case#cause like#the anti is in the tags#but I have no doubt that some people will see me implying that annabeth isn't kind/empathetic/selfless and immediately try drag me for it#if annabeth stans are bold enough to threaten me via anonymous ask over me reblogging content that doesn't praise the ground she walks on#then those same people will probably have a problem with this too#so#yk
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
I also find it funny that fandom will only accept Lyanna being her non-conforming, wild self in the context of saying that Arya isn't meant to be pretty; Any other day we get back-to-back posts about how Lyanna is actually super traditionally feminine cause she sniffled at a song once, so she's actually more like Sansa. Instead of constantly speaking on Arya and Lyanna, how about you guys reflect on why your standards of beauty for women are attached to how well they perform feminity within the patriarchy?
#lyanna stark#arya stark#asoiaf#/Lyanna isn't actually pretty she was a wild tomboy/ Those two things are not mutually exclusive 😭#how you look is not a reflection of your personality and this is also a running theme within the story#we have morally good characters who are ugly and morally bad characters who are beautiful this is like...kindergarten level#Lyanna is idealized in terms of her personality hence /you saw her beauty but not the iron underneath/#and Ned correcting Robert when he said Lyanna wouldn't have shamed him like Cersei had#he's a very shallow misogynistic character and I truly doubt he would've been as attached to the idea of her without surface level beauty#reminds me of people saying that Olivia Hussey is a bad fancast for them because she has a /doll like/ beauty and they're /rougher/ 😭#as though their entire facial structure magically changed once they realized they enjoyed playing with swords instead of sewing sdksdkdsksd#it's giving that one tiktok with the /cat pretty vs doe pretty vs bunny pretty/#even if you wanted to make the case that her beauty is idealized in her death we get Arya described a pretty multiple times?#idk it's just so wild to me to use personality as an indication of looks it just sounds so stupid#Arya/Lyanna can still have /delicate/ features (which is extremely subjective) and still have a wild personality#how about we acknowledge that the perception of both of them is warped by strict patriarchal gender norms instead?#some real analysis just to shake things up idk
90 notes
·
View notes
Text
I dont think Mob is naive as much as he's socially unaware, like the reason why he trusts Reigen so blindly is a bit more complex than just him being naive
Cause Mob reached out to Reigen because he was desperate to find someone like him, someone who understood his psychic specific issues, someone that could truly know what he's feeling and going through and give him guidance and support
Post incident Mob's thinking process was something along the lines of my powers hurt people -> my powers are bad -> my powers (my emotions, my instincts, myself) cannot be trusted
So he lost all confidence and trust in his own actions, resigning to being as passive as possible to avoid any further damage to anyone else, thus he started doubting his own perception of reality too
He's a kid already struggling with being ostracised for being socially inept, who just got traumatised and all of his insecurity increased by the tenfold, he doesn't know how to process what he's going through. He needs help.
And here comes Reigen, seemingly reliable, a responsible adult in a child's eyes, someone who claims he can understand him
Even tho Reigen doesnt. But it doesn't matter, because Mob finds comfort in his words and takes them to heart
Even if Reigen doesn't fully get it, even if he doesn't see the bigger picture, even if his advice isn't always the best
Eventually, Mob grows up, realises Reigen isn't as honest as he seemed through his 11 year old perspective, but like most things, he refuses to acknowledge it on a deeper level
Mob knows, but never tells Reigen, never thinks about what all those lies mean to him (ofc until he forces himself to face those doubts regarding Reigen, to properly acknowledge both of their flaws and accept them as they are, I should scream into the void about Confession Arc more God)
Due to his lack of trust in himself, Mob has relied on Reigen for years now to shape his moral compass, his thoughts, his decisions
Because well, Reigen lies, sure, but he isnt a bad person. When he hurts Mob, it isn't intentional or with ill intent, he still wants the best for him, what's the issue?
Except that it stunts Mob's growth. He doesn't develop as a person, doesn't have goals or wishes or ambitions, can't make choices on his own, he doesn't even let himself acknowledge his own emotions, he refuses to let himself exist
But Mob realises in time that he wants more than that, he wants to become better and be independent and feel again
Still, he puts the acknowledgement of the lies on hold for as long as he can, unwilling to question the way things are
This can make him feel a little naive, he constantly relies on Reigen and trusts his decisions and raises questions rarely until separation arc when he finally puts his foot down
And I do think that moment is the most resounding proof we have that Mob knows and allows himself to be used by Reigen, not wanting to shake the status quo, until he gets fed up
I mentioned the social ineptitude at the beggining but idk if I should even elaborate on that, you've watched the show, you know what I mean
He's blunt and can't read social cues or tonality that well and can't speak in front of crowds and is overall pretty awkward and I do think some people conflate that with naivety
Mob is still a child, he doesnt fully understand how the world works at the ripe age of 14 years old, but some folks take that as him being inherently naive/innocent/whatever which I don't find true
#ppl do a similar thing with seri but for different reasons but i do think in his case its worse cause thats a whole ass adult#anyway. i dont think im saying anything new i just wanted to ramble <3#i missed mobposting what can i say#ik i saw somebody talk about this in a more eloquent way but i doubt i could find the post cause i dont think i rbed it so rip#mp100#mob psycho 100#kageyama shigeo#that ova needs to come out already im going insane#cine te a intrebat#also hope i didnt come off as too negative towards reigen or smth#but like. my favourite part of confession is him saying (i didnt know!) LIKE YEAH. U DIDNT. LMAO.#ppl treat him as a bit too reliable sometimes and dont give him a lot of room to grow like Reigen isnt even 30 yet!! he aint that old!!#he still needs to get HIS own shit tgt before giving out advice just saying. also he totally doesnt understand mob fully. how can he??#he never mentions the incident with ritsu and considering mobs inclination of never telling anyone anything unless prompted#i doubt he knows... like reigen genuinely doesnt know the extent of mobs trauma!! when he said I Didnt Know he meant that shit!!!!!!#which is like. fine. cause to me whats important is how he always wants to protect mob and support him and help him#even if he doesnt always know how. even if advice backfires. hes always there and hes always trying and hes just as human and flawed as mob#himself#ig what im getting at is just that im bothered by the Flavour of reliable adult fandom is giving him. hes a lil pathetic and#fucks up sometimes and thats fiiiiiine. i feel like i talked shit about reigen but i do think hes a good guy and IS reliable just not in the#gives great advice way. but in the Knows How To Talk And Bullshit His Way Through Everything and Has Genuinely Good Intentions (usually)#and will throw away all of his self preservation if the situation requires him to. his advice is good but can be vague idk ONE rlly managed#to balance his pathetic side with his helpful reliable side and i dont think i articulated it the best way but like.... hes simultaneously#pathetic and sad but also the most sane and reliable adult in this show. rant over see u next time byeeee
290 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hate to burst anyone's bubble but I don't think L would've revealed his face to Light if the latter wasn't Kira. The Kira case was the only case in which L shows his identity to anyone besides Watari because it's the first time he (and his authority) has been challenged like this (with the majority of the Japanese task force leaving since they can't trust L coz of the FBI incident).
If Light weren't Kira and went on to become an NPA officer like his father, he might work with L on some cases together but that doesn't mean L would've revealed his identity to him, however intelligent this particular NPA officer may be.
Like I ship Lawlight very much and I'm not (in this post, that is) referring to anyone exploring the idea of non-Kira!Light with L in their AUs as bad (I like those AUs too), but let's remember that it wouldn't be plausible if we're going by canon. Even if Ohba said somewhere that they'd work together if Light weren't Kira, I'm sure he didn't mean working together as in face-to-face.
#that doesn't stop Light from being L's most favorite detective in the NPA tho#but i doubt that L would show his face to him just because Light's a genius like him#again i am not attacking anyone loving the idea of non-kira!Light & L working together (i'm one of those people; hi) and#reading (hello again) or writing about it in AUs#but that's not canonically plausible?#i can only think of one scenario where it's plausible#it's when L & non-Kira!Light are working on a case that's even bigger than the Kira case which requires showing your identity#anyways if i'm wrong feel free to correct me!#death note#light yagami#l lawliet#musings#p#my meta
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Red team was so selfish looking past the cursed team like that” listen man they were thinking about it often, and had evidence they were cursed too. They were convinced they were cursed too. Bad (with Pierre’s help I’ll be honest) singlehandedly destroyed any sort of civil relations and good faith between the two teams and this shot Blue in the foot when they tried to make the case about them being cursed last minute, about trying to rig it in the cursed teams favor.
There was never a cursed team in the first place, it was all a tactic to build paranoia and that feeling of betrayal and to get them to tear eachother a part. And it worked super well! At the end, neither would listen to the other about their evidence, not with an honest open ear, not with the willingness to think the other team could be cursed. It’s not a case of ‘Red just refused to listen because they wanted to win more than they cared’ they thought they were cursed too - if they were selfish, then so were Blue in the same way.
Every time Red had tried to talk first early on, it was met with extreme violence - and with Bad consistently proving he’ll play dirty to win, they didn’t trust Blue enough to listen to them in the later game. Maybe they should have listened then. Maybe Blue have listened earlier. The game worked as intended to set them against eachother.
#link is to another post I made back when they were debating about the cursed teams in purgatory and why red couldn’t trust blue and blue#couldn’t believe red. they were both stuck#and bless Tubbo he tried. he did try. but he was just as convinced he was right as Phil at the end. it was about convincing one another#more than it was about coming together and piecing together the evidence. yknow what I mean? they all cared about it but because of tension#and they also could not trust blue. which sucks because that’s hardly Tubbo’s fault but yknow#I dunno. it’s not simple like that. it’s not a case of red blowing it off being selfish not caring. they also thought they were cursed#AGAIN I’ll say it again bad burning bridges fucked a lot of them over for when diplomacy had to win because there could not be benefit of#the doubt or good faith or any sort of trust#it’s not just cut and dry red wanted to win more or blue wanted to win more. it was complicated and had way more factors#red thought they were cursed too!! they had solid evidence for this too!!#and like. again it’s a case of both parties kinda suck purgatory sucked it was always going to be like that because the game worked as#intended#idk. blue should have listened to red early on. red should have listened to blue later on. they were never going to do that on either side#idk from Tina’s pov it’s understandable why she said what she said. but knowing the others pov and what actually went down that’s not what#happened at all yknow?#they’re all gonna be feeling the effects of ‘we killed and betrayed eachother for two weeks’ for a while to come#mcyt#qsmp#qsmp purgatory#z speaks
83 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ok new thought. You think all these parallels between Carmy and Syd. How she is sort of turning into him in a bad way (the hurt, the anxiety, she just taking Carmy's shit without complaining). Is going to be some sort of wake up call for Carmy?
If in season 4 he realizes he has taken her on a downward spiral close to his... of isolation and worry and self-harm. And seeing it in her is so awful he just can't take it. Like if he were to witness a panic attack like the one she had in Forever, I think he would die. I mean, I think it would finally take him out of his black hole and realize he is doing harm to others you know? And not just to others but to Sydney! I feel something like that would make him go all "never again" and suddenly he would rehabilitate himself instantly, like a bucket of cold water... and he will really listen to everything she says and manage to communicate better and finally turn into less of an asshole in the kitchen??
#thoughts??#this is literally just something that came to my mind.... i haven't elaborated it too much or looked for much evidence... just a hypothesis#which is why i am asking in case anyone agrees and has more evidence lol#or just to like discuss.... like a brainstorming session!#the bear#sydcarmy#because there have always been parallels#and some better than others... some more romantic than others.... but this season the parallels where like bad. like carmy and the bad chef#kinda bad... soooo i want to give them the benefit of the doubt and think is not just syd turning into carmys worse traits#but maybeeee something that will influence their relationship and hopefully take them both into a better place??
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know how it sounds at first, but I really gotta feel bad for the boys that sacrificed edwin; I mean even the term “sacrificed edwin” paints them in a more sinister light than they really deserve– considering that wasn’t really, actually their intention.
they were bullies, they were homophobic (and/or were self loathing gay boys themselves taking it out on edwin, or were equally likely peer pressured into acting a certain way), they planned something stupid and mean to do to an innocent, anxious boy with the goal of scaring the shit out of him, all because he was effeminate and an easy target. but they didn’t know or expect any of the ritual stuff to be real. they were all laughing and joking during the ritual because it was just that to them– a joke. a cruel joke, but a joke.
teenagers can be mean and stupid and they usually regret it as adults and grow out of it / grow from it. they were stifled the chance to grow out of it, at least while alive. none of those boys deserved to be instakilled and sent to hell; they’re really not that much less deserving than edwin himself. they were all just kids, after all.
#random thought but. yeah���…#I mean think about if crystal happened to be killed somehow pre-demonic intervention#she would’ve been deemed deserving of hell by the standards we’ve seen. no doubt about it. if the dragon guys were pulled to hell then yeah.#she would be as well. simply put- she was a bully#she was also a teenager. not a fully developed person. a very damaged and neglected teenager at that#it’s kinda like the criminal justice system right. it’s like. hey you really think sending them to be tormented is the most humane and#efficient way to heal these kids of what makes them act out and allow them to grow and improve?#Crystal’s such a good case to look at because she’s. well. to compare to The Good Place which you can probably already tell I’ve watched 800#times and adore with all my heart. she’s kinda the michael of the group#no one knows it at first but she’s actually kind of a terror to people most of the time. but she’s put in a situation where she#suddenly has a support system- people who care about her and want the best for her- she’s given a purpose and realizes how much better it is#to use her powers to help rather than hurt (well. sometimes helping can involve hurting but you get it)#and by the time she’s regained her memories and has a place in the agency it’s much easier to reflect on her life and be like huh!#this system kinda fucking sucks!#not that edwin wasn’t an example unto himself but he was a ‘clerical error’ not a ‘rightfully’ condemned person#with his situation someone could argue that the problem isn’t with the system being wack as a whole- it should just be maintained better so#these ‘errors’ don’t happen and all the good kids go to their afterlives and the Bad Evil Kids go to hell.#yes yes I know they’re not in hell forever (hopefully) but uhh Simon was still there for over a century and for fucking What?#gay self-loathing and catholic guilt? his intentions were clearly not Truly Evil and more than anything he seems to have been punished using#how much he hated himself for being gay and how guilty he felt for it all. like shit aren’t those feelings enough of a punishment? if he had#lived through that ritual and edwin hadn’t– do you think he would’ve been Okay? I think it would’ve crushed him. chronically#man. anyway#this was an especially long ramble huh#rambling#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've been thinking more about the Veil and whether it should come down or not--
and personally, I think arguments for both sides can be compelling. I think there are good and valid reasons for either.
but when it comes down to it, when I ask my heart what I want? it's for the Veil to come down.
why? because it's a video game, and I think it'd be way more fun and interesting to play!!
I want to know what happens next in a Veil-less Thedas because it'd become something entirely new, something we've never seen.
and yes, a lot would die, and it could even make the world worse, but that's an outcome that would intrigue me. how does Thedas survive that? how does Thedas move forward?
and if you were to ask me, hey would you rather play in a world that has touches of magic, or a completely magically-infused world? the latter feels more mysterious and exciting, and just cool imo. I think it'd be a really fun game.
#some shower thoughts#da4 critical#bioware critical#kind of?#i don't consider this critical but just in case#dragon age#gaming#da4 spoilers#tbh I don't think the veil will ever come down because it'd be too expensive to develop#like you'd have to redesign and rewrite and reconfigure the entire world and how it works#which is probably the type of reboot DA could benefit from#but I doubt Bioware would have the guts to take the $$$ risk
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hi urgent question, what does it mean when the friend that left you five years ago remakes the playlist she made you for your eighteenth birthday with the description, "For all that which I needed to leave behind. Tall tales (which was the name of the playlist she made for your birthday), great mistakes, and the time of my life." And another playlist with the description, "My life as it is! Taller tales than ever before." And posts them both to the Spotify she knows you can see? What does it mean? Hello what does this mean??!? I need someone to please present the correct answer because I don't know what to think or feel but I can't stop looking at the playlists and crying, and I'm at work so that's not great, so I just need an answer please.
#i cant ask her because we are no contact and have been for most of those five years#i dont know if its a way to broach breaking no contact or if its just her eay of coping#with the situation st hand#but then she couldve posted them privately if she didnt want me to see them#so did she want me to see them? it seems so because she referenced the playlist she made me and one of them is a remake#so it seems like a message for me. ehats the message?#that she wants to come back? that she never wants to come back and i need to get used to that?#that shes just fucking with me? but shes not cruel like that#she was never cruel like that. she wouldn't post them just to hurt me#and the description of the second playlist makes it seem like an attempt at connection. right?#like a view into her life#but the description on the first one sends a different message#i feel like im standing in front of an imaginary conspiracy board and wuickly letting it consume me#in a way that if i was a detective i would be taken off the case for getting too close#ive been trying to analyze the lyrics of the song choices and what they could mean#some of them on the playlist thats a remake of my birthday playlist are from the original birthday playlist#but when she sent me that birthday playlist she said the order mattered#and now the order is different and there are some different songs so does the order still matter?#if it does. which im sure it does because i knew her. then what does it mean?#im the meme 'what does it mean? what does it all mean??#this time of year and also every day is hard with missing her and such#but i thought i was doing a little better. getting iver losing her. internalizing that shes not coming back#and then i checked her spotify and found the damn fucking playlists and now im spiraling#and i just wish i could talk to ger about it but i cant break no contact#i feel like the guy in paper towns. but in that one the girl didnt want to be found. she left the clues to show she was alright#but didnt want to be found by the guy that cared enough to put the clues together#i am at work and spiraling and trying not to cry in front of coworkers but i cant stop going iver the playlists and#trying to analyze them#can someone please tell me what they mean beyond a shadow of a doubt so i can breathe again?
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm revisiting a part of The High School Survival Guide: Making the Most of the Best Time of Your Life (so far) by Adam Palmer. It's a Christian book despite the fact that the title makes it seem totally areligious, and I read parts of it when I was in high school. It was the first time I ever read about being gay in a book. I found a free version online and while I didn't think the Bible could shock me anymore my mouth dropped open at this:
Apparently the MSG version of this passage really says the quiet part out loud. Gay people aren't even human / lose the knowledge of how to be human. Not sure how that works. There's such a dissonance between the tone of this verse and the tone of the text in the book too.
GEE I WONDER WHY??? How strange that Christians, who believe their sacred text claims that homosexual acts strip people of God, love, and their humanity, view homosexuality as 'icky' and 'gross.' In fact, I would think they'd think much worse in that scenario and treat gay people far worse. In fact, it kinda seems like you're downplaying the absolutely brutal treatment and systemic discrimination of gay people that was carried out in the name of Jesus.
And all of this is being aimed at (presumably Christian) teenagers who think they might be gay. There's no real advice here other than to surrender to god and to seek accountability.
I was keenly aware as a gay Christian that I was at the center of a culture war I did not want to be a part of. People out beyond my religious community were fighting for an acceptance and celebration of homosexuality that I thought was harmful and sinful. People inside my religious community had all kinds of incorrect ideas about gay people and I didn't think there was much space for me to be "out of the closet" even if I stayed single, celibate, and god-fearing. And I had no idea what to do about any of it.
I didn't come out to anyone until after high school. I prayed and I prayed and I prayed, and the weight was still heavy. God did not make it easier, did not lift the burden of homosexuality from me. I had plenty of accountability in my life, constantly watched by helicopter parents with Internet filters, confessing sin regularly in men's groups (both before and after I started to tell people I 'struggled with same-sex attraction). 'Accountability' only served to intensify my shame.
The only time things got easier was when I started to take God out of the equation, when I started to see my sexuality as a part of myself to embrace rather than excise. Christians will drone on and on about how Christ sets people free from their sins. In my experience, to be free of my sin I had to first be free of Christ.
#I thought this book was when I encountered the “actually gay people just have a bad relationship with their same sex parents” argument but#turns out that's not the case#which is not helpful for the other thing I was writing but now im making this post#this book is so crazy too like it really neatly packages the evangelical worldview and aims it at high schoolers#Rereading it is eerie cause it's presenting stuff that's nearly exactly what I believed as a Christian#but it's not like my entire worldview came from this book#I don't remember even reading this book all the way through and I doubt I did#it's just very good at bottling up the theological waters in which I as swimming and serving it to in its simplest form#exvangelical#tw: homophobia#cw: homophobia#homophobia#ex christian#ex fundamentalist#ex fundie#ex religious#apostate#gay exvangelical#religious trauma#shoesofatiredman
67 notes
·
View notes