#Where's The Cream Filling

[kizzer55555]

Ultimate Escape Room

Sam, Danny, and Tucker are bored. Nothing seems to be a challenge anymore. Summer vacation is coming up but they can’t agree on anything . Themepark? What’s a better roller coaster than Jack driving? Scary movie? I’m sorry, nothing beats Fright Knight’s nightmare realm. Bungie jumping? Danny can fly. Then Tucker, who’s been typing on his computer, asks “what about an escape room?”. The others are about to shut the idea down because seriously? Easy. But Tucker just grins and shows them his computer screen.

“Ever heard of Arkham?”

Danny and Sam lean over to read the description and all three turn to each other and grin. 

Now, what’s the fastest way to get into Arkham?

…

So the chaos trio do ✨something✨ that gets them locked up in Arkham and then try to escape and they keep. You know, normal stuff for Arkham inmates. Except this trio? Keep. Getting. Out. Of. Their. Cells. So they are just passing by locked up rogues and waving at them as an army of prison guards chase after them. Sure they could get out the easy way (Aka powers) but no, this is a challenge so they have the normal rules of an escape room. Aka, you can’t break anything and an extra rule where if a guard catches you, then you can’t fight back (also, no one can get hurt). (They make fake identities and everything). So they need to go through the whole process. Figure out how to unlock cuffs. Could be learning to pick a lock with a spoon/stick/long nails. Then find the keys. Possibly having to crawl through vents to get in the warden’s office. Or making deals with prison inmates. Like, I’ll get this for you if you give me that (however they extract a promise that the rogue can’t kill anyone with whatever they help them with.) So they are in prison literally doing errands like find freeze’s weapons in exchange for him telling them the passcode to the gate or something. Or getting Waylon some meat from the cafeteria and he’ll break the lock on this movable vault that has materials to make smoke bombs they can use to distract the front guards. 

These kids are just going wild and it gets to the point where Arkham has to call the bats (like no Waylon, we won’t escape with you, we have to do it without breaking any walls!) So literally the only reason they are not escaping is because they want to do it ‘right’. But they are also aiding other rogues in their escape (at least certain ones. They aren’t helping joker no matter what he offers)

It’s driving the bats mad. They have vigilantes stationed in each hall, in multiple monitor rooms.

They aren’t even using anything clever to block the cameras. They’re using mirrors. Mirrors! Where did they even get so many handheld mirrors! 

They are running circles around the bats. The escaped rogues literally aren’t doing anything yet because they want to see how the three hellions will escape the entire bat clan. They have bets going. So there is a temporary truce.

Just imagine the conversations/interrogations the bats will have with trio, trying to figure out their master plan - because surely there's something more going on than three chaos young adults playing a game, right?

They trio each have a different story. And they are so passionate/convincing actors that no one knows which story is real. At least one of them told a sob story with legitimate tears.

Danny: (all mysterious) You shall never know our master plan….until it is too late. And just casually dropping hints that there is something greater or that the bats are playing right into their hands. Even using ridiculous scenarios like yesss the ketchup explosion in the cafeteria….We are one step further….Mwa ha ha! (Rubs his hands together)

Sam: (absolutely distraught with literal tears running down her face and ruining her mascara.) There is a terrible organization holding their parents hostage. They had been framed and forced to be in Arkham. If they don’t do exactly as they are told, their loved ones are in danger! Should we stay? Should we escape and help them!? No one will believe us and what if we make things worse? We don’t know what to do!

Tucker: (takes a long slurp of a smoothie. Where he got one? No one knows). Yeah we were bored and had nothing better to do than mess with you guys. (Sluuuuurp).

The bats are trying to figure it out. Is the black haired guy telling the truth and the other two are just manipulating them? Is it the girl and the others are only following the plot of the organization? IS THE BARET KID RIGHT AND THEY’RE JUST MESSING WITH US!? WHICH STORY IS IT!?

Under normal circumstances, Sam wouldn’t give a sob story because It’s not really her vibe. But Sam has the opportunity to pull one over on a bat. Do you honestly think she won’t take a chance to mess with them? Also, Dick is the one who is interrogating Sam.

He’s crying too by the end of the story.

Poor guy, Sam will play his heart like a fiddle. 

Also, their fake identities are Jordan for Danny. Mortica for Sam (or Macey for short) and Phineas for Tucker. The fact that they are using fake identities is the only thing they all agree on in the interview. But the bats find nothing on them and the identities are so realistic they wonder if they are even fake at all. If the three are faking fake IDs to throw them off their tail from looking deeper. Apparently their ‘parents’ having a missing persons report.

Damian is interrogating Danny. It’s just so easy to rile him up and get under his skin. It’s absolute drama in that interrogation room. 

Danny: ah yessss. Master plan.

Damian: you shall never succeed! Justice shall prevail evil scum!

And Duke is interrogating Tucker. He just…has no idea how to respond to this. He wasn’t trained for this response. Hostile, yes. Mysterious, yes. Scared, yes. Civilian, yes. Even Flirtatious! YES! But not…this. What does he do? should he take out his note cards?

Also, I’m adding a mix of home alone elements to this. They have to get past the bats somehow and it can’t be lethal. Poor Jason and Steph who are patrolling the halls fall victim to most of this.

At one point, both of them are tied up together and hanging from the ceiling. While the trio just casually walk by under them. 

It’s dental floss. Really strong dental floss.

Then the bats start taking sides. 

Jason? once he hears Sam's story, he's immediately willing to help her. He and Dick are searching for that missing person's report almost religiously.

Tim believes Danny's story. part of it is because it makes the most sense, and the other part is that he's slightly biased from becoming an evil megalomaniac in every timeline he's seen so he's subconsciously trying to stop that from happening here.

Cass believes Tucker because come on, it's Cass.

Steph is siding with Tim because her father was cluemaster so same reasons.

Bruce is trying to fact check all of them and is failing desperately.

Sam added some ‘clues’ in her interrogation and basically threw the GIW under the bus as the organization. So the bats do find a shady organization but so far no missing persons so the other bats still don’t know if what Sam is saying is true or not while Dick takes this as absolute proof and Jason feels like it doesn’t matter if she’s telling the truth at this point. It’s a corrupt organization. So he’ll still blow it up.

I think in this AU, the GIW isn’t a threat and more of an annoyance so Sam just plays them up as even worse. Like, she doesn’t say anything untrue just makes it sound worse out of context. Oh yeah, they opened fire on this random kid. (Gregory when they thought he was phantom) Oh yes, they have destroyed Danny’s house at one point. (The prank war with Vlad) Yes, the have an unhealthy obsession with dissecting people. (Even though they are too incompetent to actually catch anyone).

So again, they don’t know if Sam is telling the truth of the organization or they just used this random organization to draw their attention away from the three’s plans (as Danny implied). Possibly an enemy organization or a competitor.

I know everyone makes the GIW a big threat but I decided to change it up. They aren’t a threat but still get obliterated by a pissed off Red Hood and Nightwing.

And that’s  another reason why Sam gives the sob story. Danny and Tucker are great but they wouldn’t actually sick a crime lord on the GIW. Sam? Absolutely would. She does not care what happens to them. They tore up her garden one time with a stray shot. She wants revenge. And sure, she didn’t actually know what would happen to them after the bats find out but she still doesn’t care.

And through all of this, the rogues are sitting back and eating popcorn while Joker screams bloody murder from his cell. 

[sea-lanterns]

i need navia to breed me hnnngh

Imagine continuing the Caspar bloodline with Navia and having little Spina Di Rosula heirs 🥺

I think about this everyday tbh. I just know that Navia is a family woman, so she wants nothing more than to hold you down beneath her and fill you up with her dick until you’re as stuffed as a cream puff 🤭 Navia’s an amazing baker for a reason. She’s great at putting buns in the oven, so expect her to pop a few batches in you in hopes of you creating an heir together <33

[housecow]

the difference between these two 🥺 both??

funny story though. my roommate is still taking food but my memory is so bad when it comes to things i don’t eat myself (adhd)

when i talk to friends and family about the situation the first thing they ask is, “are you sure you’re not sleep eating?” which is adorable. they wanna believe, even if for a second, that maybe i’m not truly at fault for making myself into such a cow 🥺 i get it bc im getting very fat even with the thievery but at the same time. im literally being gaslit

[cakesmelons]

Sometimes I wonder how I befriended a cool person like you, when suddenly I remember....

Obviously to start off the years frozen au doodles that'll happen every second year I mean uh- we bring back the classic cream riding epic joke(even if just for a second)

[ennard-is-near]

The logbook is soooo funny, what the hell is happening there? I’m not even talking about the lore implications, I just mean why does it exist and why are the prompts in the book like that?

Like, pages are covered in blood, it’s a children’s book. It’s got spooky writing about how the writer is scared and dead and can’t see and it’s an activity book for kids. Who is buying their children activity books that contains a section where they write their end of life preferences??

It also has that FNaF style of humor where it’s like “Thought about how you aren’t doing what you wanted with your life? Write it here!” Or “Make a list if your favorite things and also consider making this page in to a legally binding will!” Which is all stuff that lots of kids probably wouldn’t think was funny. (Edited to add because I just had to say this ig) It’s a very tired employee style of humor, not a lot of 7 year olds will relate.

But it’s definitely for kids, because if it was for adults or older fans then it would be set up like an actual employee handbook and not an activity book?? Whose idea was this thing? Why is it so funny???

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[secondpersonpoetry]

you’ve probably already read it before, but the poem Party by Kim Addonizio really got me tonight. first thought was “oh man. yeah” and then my second thought was “how can i make this about my hockey guys somehow………..”anyway! have a good one! 

oh. oh.

​

[lakesandquarries]

i could make one of those cute interactive threads on twitter just with stuff from my own life and the thought is making me feel really good about myself lol

[waugh-bao]

[curseofbreadbear]

@feralreason ❤’d! ( for circus baby! )

❝ I can feel my heart breaking, mistakes I've been making... ❞

[meownotgood]

i would definetely ask aki to ruin my insides and thank him for it

aki could do whatever the hell he wants to me but the best part is even after telling him that he would only treat me so so softly

[local-magpie]

considering keeping my hair slightly longer bc it looks good and is a perfect length to be pulled in bed, but then i need to find someone to actually fuck me for that to be useful

[00queasy00]

x

[odessastone]

Spinning my wheels thinking up tiny ideas for bigender/pangender Lifeweaver, bc in my mind there is No way this dude is restricting himself to just One gender. But none of these little headcanons make up a full fic concept yet lol

[unnerving-presence]

ough I'm feeling so soft rn

just wanna hug and kiss dc wesker rn

starts wesker esp! like just entering his office and just sitting in his lap and cuddling him while he finishes working before he takes me to bed to get some sleep

-🐺 Im grateful I have wesker on the brain. he makes me stress less abt my surgery in Monday. its a minor surgery (taking out a regrow tonsil) but I'm still super anxious

honestly it’s probably routine for you to just.. waltz on into wesker’s office and just chill in his lap. he likely has an office at home to do more work and that also likely doesn’t stop you from doing the same thing. it’s more promoted by wesker though (‘promoted’ as in he isn’t concerned someone will walk in)

i would imagine he works super late (dude has bags under his eyes ik he doesn’t sleep) but if he notices that you want him to go to bed with you he will reluctantly finish his work at a reasonable place before taking you to bed and finally getting some rest

i do hope your surgery goes well though ! i’m sure you’ll be completely fine^ i do understand the anxiety though. for me surgeries are always semi-anxiety inducing no matter what. but at least it’ll be out of the way when it’s over. i believe you can push through it !! it’ll be over before you know it <3 i hope it goes well