#When the first thing you did after blocking someone was go check on their blog
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sege-h · 1 year ago
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The kids are not only not alright but theyre just downright stupid rn
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say-duhnelle · 2 years ago
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Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck youuuuuuuu
Hello, Tumblr. 
If you joined us before November 2022 and predominantly post on web, you will be familiar with the two post editors—the legacy editor and the “new” web editor (formerly known as the “Beta editor”).
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Beginning May 15, we’ll gradually be working to remove the legacy editor as an option for creating new posts. New posts created on web will be created in the new web editor. We hope to complete this change by July 15. 
This change only affects accounts created before November 2022. Newer accounts already default to the new web editor.
This will not affect posting on the apps because we switched to this new editor on the apps about four years ago. If you use the apps, you’ve been using the new editor all this time!
This will not affect what you can include in a post, only how you get there: You can still include all the different types of media in a post, only now, you’ll do that via the new web editor’s content blocks instead of selecting a post type from the post type bar at the top of your dash. So, if you’re halfway through a text post, and you decide that what this post really needs is your pet reptile, then click on the little red image icon in the post editor, select an image, and voilà. Lizard boy steals our hearts.
If you still prefer to post on web using the legacy editor, please keep reading because the rest of this post is for you.
How can you prepare for this change?
Once we have completed this update, you won’t be able to create posts using the legacy editor. You will be able to edit posts made using the legacy editor, at least for now. 
Start using the new web editor ahead of the switch. This will help you help us troubleshoot any issues you might encounter. It’ll also mean you’ll already know the ropes before the switch is final. 
Talk to us. Send us feedback. Especially if you’re switching from legacy to the new web editor. We want to hear about your experience: Are there any specific workflows or features in legacy that you want to see in the new editor?      
If you use a theme, make sure to check whether it supports posts made using the new web editor, and update it if that’s not the case. 
For those of you trimming reblogs: @rpschtuff has created an incredibly detailed master post that gets into the nitty gritty of that practice in the new web editor.
XKitters: XKit Rewritten was explicitly designed with the new web experience in mind. This means that you will need to use XKit Rewritten when creating posts in the new web editor.
That’s all for now. Remember, you can always get in touch with us. If it’s regarding the new web editor, then Support is the place for you. If it’s about something else, @wip is your guy.
#The things I dislike about the beta editor are things y'all have already refused to change about it#no matter how much feedback I send it's not going to get me unlimited inline images#or the option to edit in raw HTML when I want a little more control over the format#or the FUCKING readmore to be a button I can choose inline rather than something I have to look up the magic fucking code to type in...#... every GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING TIME I need to FUCKING use it#I can't see my tags in full after I add them to spell check them#Nor can I drag them around in the order - if the first one is wrong I have to delete them ALL and retype#there is even an arbitrary limit on the number of text blocks you're allowed to have in a beta editor post#and while it's not something which typically gets in the way for the kind of posts I make#if you write very long posts like fanfiction or posts with a lot of carriage returns like poetry it's coming for your ass#Tumblr staff however does not give a fuck about limiting the functionality of the website as long as it makes their jobs easier#they don't give a fuck about permabanning someone from the website who did nothing against TOS#just insulted one of them#as long as it makes their jobs easier#they're awful petty people and every ''update'' they make makes me more and more tired#I'm only still here because all my friends are#also#I wonder what random shit this update is gonna break. Stupid things go wrong around here all the time as it is - e.g. image size glitch#which is STILL AFFECTING ME btw#I wonder how many fucking load bearing coconuts there are in the legacy editor code and what exactly removing them is going to ruin#not to mention the things we KNOW will eventually break like your ability to edit posts on your own fucking blog if they're old#because who cares about backwards compatibility right? no one from 2012 could possibly still be using this website#and they certainly couldn't ever discover errors in their old posts or want to update them because their beliefs or opinions have changed#nobody cool experiences ''personal growth'' over the course of a decade that's for suckers#<- actual gymternet users opinion tbh#anyway I'm done ranting for the moment but fuck you and fuck this.
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evermore-fashion · 10 months ago
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Did I make a mistake?
As you're all well aware of I said goodbye to my blogs and Tumblr thinking my decision was final. However after reading all your wonderful messages I started to have doubts about my decision. So for the last few weeks I've been trying to pinpoint why I thought I had fallen out of love with high end fashion as well as Tumblr itself and the answer has been in front of my face for the best part of four years. A broken down friendship that has been plaguing my mental health… until recently and I'm going to finally explain why. I had a best friend for the best part of 15 years that went downhill both slowly and unexpectedly. We met on a forum back in 2005 and hit it off instantly. We then met up and went on various holidays, attended concerts together, did mini weekend breaks away and got to know each other's families really well. More importantly they were the only person in my life who knew about this blog and shared my love for high end fashion. Like most friendships though it had its ups and downs but no matter what we always gravitated back towards one another, until March 2020. A week or so before COVID and lockdown took hold of our lives they told me they had met someone. I was genuinely happy for them, except for the fact they had let slip that I was the last person to know. This broke my heart and their trust as they continued to let slip more details that indicated that I was being pushed out in favour of a new crowd (aka university friends who they had told me they disliked a few months beforehand) alongside their new partner. They stayed with their partner on and off throughout COVID and I was either pushed out the door or let back in depending on their relationship status. The relationship came to an end for good towards the end of 2022 and as always I was let back into their life with plans for 2023 being made. However I held back knowing the hurt it would cause me if things suddenly changed again. This was also my breaking point with them as I wanted to protect my heart from anymore hurt, and I believe this is where my love for creativity began to faulter. Whilst I found my love for gaming I felt this mental block around Evermore-Fashion and Evermore-Grimoire which I thought was down to my passions changing. I was clearly wrong. The friendship was up and down for another six months, until last summer. They had got back in contact with me despite the fact they had started acting cold towards me which manifested in a crap Christmas and Birthday. Yet I was still willing to hear their side of the story, but it never came as they ghosted me and I haven't spoken to them since which hasn't been fun to deal with both mentally and emotionally. Although I now fully believe this is what was killing my spirit and everything I had loved for so long. Anyway fast forward to January 2024, I've said goodbye to my blogs and Tumblr when lo and behold I come across a social media post that changed everything. The ex friend had written something personal that contradicted everything they had told me (over their relationship break up) which not only angered me but it lit a fire under my butt to stop stewing in the "what ifs?" as well as holding on to a small bit of hope that they'd finally apologise for treating me like a piece of shit on the back of their shoe for so long. Not only that but I started to miss why I enjoyed being online in the first place. I checked out Vogue to see what was occurring during Paris Fashion Week and I yearned to share the Spring 2024 Couture collections on Tumblr (even though I still think it's still a toxic cesspit). Yes I could easily start this up on Wordpress or Instagram but let's face it, Tumblr is still the easiest place to start blogging creatively. So here I am. The fog surrounding my love for fashion has lifted alongside the mental and emotional baggage I've been holding on to for far too long. There's just one thing I'm still wondering though… do you guys forgive me (as I feel like I've messed you all around ) and is it okay to come back? 🥹
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mxltifxnd0m · 4 months ago
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smother it ː s. winchester
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summary: sam has to patch you up, but the problem lies within the fact the two of you despise each another
pairings: sam winchester x reader, sam winchester x fem! reader [can be read as gn/afab reader]
word count: 4.7K
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warnings: 18+, no use of 'y/n', slight enemies to lovers, mentions of wounds and stitches, bickering, curse words, some smut [fem receiving oral], and fluff
a/n: first kinda smut for sam so PLEASE MINORS DNI!! for my sake and your own! I will be checking blogs who interact with this one-shot for minors and I will be blocking you if you do. i have SFW works for sam, so please go and check those ones out instead!
without further ado, please enjoy the oneshot and reblog and comment your thots 😏
𝘴𝘢𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵
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From the moment you met Sam Winchester, he managed to get under your skin like no other.
You had met the Winchesters while hunting a siren, which, at the time, you didn't know what you were hunting. You were stumped with the evidence that you had found. But you had bumped into Dean while in the morgue, both posing as FBI agents and realizing that the other was a hunter soon after the coroner left the room. You had some idea who this hunter was, but when he finally dropped the FBI shtick and introduced himself as Dean Winchester, it confirmed your suspicions that you had when you asked Bobby for some help on this hunt and said he sent "one of the best" your way.
You were surprised at how well you got along with Dean, having heard some choice words that Bobby has described the Winchesters as a particular kind of character (his words, not yours). But you were not prepared to be met with hostility from the "infamous" Sam Winchester when Dean brought you back to their motel room.
Sam visibly bristled when you entered the room, which you chalked up as the fact that you were a stranger intruding in on a private space, which you wholly understood; you would have reacted in the same way. But when Dean clarified that you were the hunter they were sent to help with, Sam rolled his eyes and mumbled something under his breath.
You were a bit confused by the cold shoulder that Sam was giving you, and apparently so was Dean, having seen him give his brother a weird look after he interrupted you for the third time when trying to figure out what you guys were hunting. You bit your tongue each time he did, but the third time was enough, and you asked him what the hell his problem was with you. You genuinely wanted to know since you had been nothing but kind to him.
Sam rolled his eyes. "It's obviously a siren, but you wouldn't know that given that you're new at this." He said, completely disregarding your question, and he continued on with explaining his theory on what the monster the three of you were hunting was.
You stared at Sam, nostrils flared, and anger filled your veins at the fact he thought you were new at hunting. You were brought up to hunt from a very young age and had been for a very long time, so the fact that he thought you were an inexperienced hunter boiled your blood. You had heard about the Winchesters and their reputation growing up, knowing their prowess for hunting was high, but you never expected someone like Sam, who looked like a gentle giant at first glance, to be such a dick.
"Thank you for that boy genius. Do you ever actually get to kill the thing, or is your nose too busy to be stuck in a book and that's why you let your brother do the heavy lifting?" You retorted, looking at him with a cocked brow.
You saw Sam's jaw clench and eyes flash with irritation at your words. He went to respond, but Dean quickly intervened and tried to de-escalate the situation at hand. He practically sent you and Sam to timeout, having told you to go back to your room to cool off while he talked to Sam alone.
You pressed your lips together and tried not to stomp out of the room like a toddler having a tantrum. You left the room, slamming their door shut and went back to your room. You were muttering angrily to yourself as you walked back to your room. You can't believe that Sam had insulted your ability to hunt. He hadn't even seen you hunt before. You'd never expected Sam to be this much of an ass to you (you honestly thought it would be Dean to act this way from what you heard from Bobby).
Dean eventually came for you in your room and told you to come back. Once you were back in their room, Dean sat you down across Sam and lectured the two of you. He made you promise that you or Sam wouldn't take jabs at one another or try to provoke the other into an argument. So, like two disgruntled children, you both promised Dean that you guys wouldn't do any of that until after the hunt was over and you had killed the siren.
But once you killed that siren, you immediately left, not wanting to stay in the presence of Sam Winchester any longer than you had to. But as fate would have it, you guys would always seem to cross paths with you on hunts. Dean would always find you and invite you to hunt with them, and before you could even think about saying no, he'd pull a puppy dog look at you, and pout. Which, without fail, you would always say yes to.
Hunting with Sam was torture. He'd always nitpick the way you went about research and would take any chance to correct you about the lore behind particular creatures that you were hunting. Sam loved being insufferable toward you, and you could tell it brought him so much joy when you would have to storm away from him; otherwise, you would have broken his nose with a swift punch to his face.
You knew you hated Sam Winchester, and you knew for a fact that he had the same feelings toward you. You also despised the fact that you found him attractive. Sam was tall, almost too tall, had shaggy brown hair that he pulled off effortlessly, hazel eyes that seemed to be an endless pool of blues, greens, browns, and golds, and smug smirks he would send you when he was right about some obscure lore were deadly combinations for you.
You wished that you weren't drawn to him, but you saw the kind smiles and the soft eyes that never were directed at you, but he had when he talked to the victims on hunts. You even saw the dimples that he had when he'd smile at the stupid banter that he and Dean would have when the three of you were at a bar celebrating a job well done and Sam had loosened up with a couple of drinks in him.
"Stop squirming," Sam ordered you with a grumble, a frown on his face as he wiped the blood away from the gash on your back. His words brought you back to the present.
You glared at him through the mirror of the cramped motel bathroom the two of you were in. He took most of the space with his broad frame, standing behind you as your hands gripped the edge of the porcelain countertop, cleaning the wound you had gotten when the ghoul you were hunting threw you through a glass table and glass ended up cutting up your back. You would have cleaned it yourself, but it was in a spot where you needed to be a contortionist if you wanted to clean it yourself.
You would have asked Dean for help, but as soon as he cleaned up from the hunt, he left the motel to go to the nearest bar while you waited for Sam to be done with the shower. You wished you didn't have to share the room with the boys on this hunt, but when you arrived at the motel, there were no vacancies, so you had to bunk with the Winchesters.
You winced as Sam suddenly stuck the needle into your skin. The glass that sliced into your back was deep enough to where it needed stitches. You swore you saw something flicker in his eyes as his gaze looked up from your back, and you hissed slightly at the feeling before he focused on the task at hand. You were regretting ever saying yes to helping Dean.
"You need to be less reckless, I don't want to be the one patching you constantly." Sam mumbled as he threaded the needle through your skin.
You huffed angrily. "Yeah sure, next time I'll ask the ghoul to gently throw me through a glass table." You snapped at him.
You hissed through your teeth as you felt Sam tug on a stitch, making it tighter than it needed to be and sending a sting of pain through your back. You glared at him harder through the mirror as you saw the corner of his lip twitch significantly.
"Sorry, did that hurt?" He asked, his tone feigning innocence as he finished stitching up your wound. Sam tied off the stitch and sniped the thread, quickly grabbing some gauze and medical tape to cover your freshly sewn skin together. Once he was done, you grabbed the hem of the tank top you were wearing and pulled it down. Then, you reached for the first aid kit lying on top of the toilet seat.
"I can do the rest. You're released from your duties now." You tell Sam sarcastically as you eye the cut that was near your hairline.
As you were looking through the first aid kit to grab some ointment before you cleaned the cut, you felt Sam move out of the bathroom, the room feeling less suffocating as he did, but you didn't notice his eyes on you the entire time until he leaned against the doorway. Unfortunately for you, he stayed there with his gaze stuck on you.
You glanced to see his broad figure take up the entire doorway and scowled. "You can leave now, join your brother at the bar, I don't need your help anymore."
Sam didn't move an inch at your words. "Why do you hate me?" He asked instead of listening to you.
Your lips thinned into a straight line as you closed the first aid kid with more force than you intended, and a sharp laugh left your lips.
"Really? You're asking me this now? If anyone should be asking this question, it should be me."
You saw Sam shrugging out the corner of your eye. "Just curious, it's clear that you don't like me."
"That's rich coming from the man who has been nothing but hostile towards me the moment I set foot in the same room as him." You quickly tried to clean the cut on your forehead. Luckily, it wasn't as bad as it looked, and you swiftly cleaned it and placed a butterfly bandage on it.
"It's not like you were the most friendly either."
You turned to face Sam, a fiery look in your eyes. "Only because I tried to be nice to you, but you were nothing but a dick to me." You wanted nothing more but to slap Sam's stupidly handsome face.
Sam started to smirk, clearly enjoying getting you riled up. "Is that so?" He asked, tilting his head to the side. Sam's question felt demeaning.
"Oh for Christ's sake. I'm not doing this with you right now." You all but growled through gritted teeth. You pushed past Sam, hitting his shoulder hard as you made your way out of the bathroom and gathered your things. You've had it with Sam, and if he was going to play this game with you, you would just leave and never interact with the Winchesters again.
You tried putting on your jacket but cringed in pain when you felt your stitches pull, and a warm hand on your shoulder stopped you.
"You're gonna rip the stitches if you keep that up," Sam said in an uncharacteristically soft voice, which made you frown. You shrugged off his hand and turned around to see his eyebrows pinched. You hated that all you wanted to do was smooth out the wrinkles that formed in the middle.
You shook your head to get rid of that thought. "Oh, fuck off, Sam. Don't act like you care. If it wasn't for Dean being there, you would have probably left me there to bleed out."
Sam flinched at your harsh words, his face hardening before softening again as his hand twitched at his side like he wanted to reach out but fought against it.
"Look, I'm sorry for how I treated you." He licked his bottom lip. "I-you. I do care about you."
You looked at him with disbelief. "Really? Wow, could've fooled me." You sent him a sarcastic smile before turning back around, intending to leave the room. You couldn't care less about your stuff at the moment.
"Hey!" Sam called out for you and grabbed your arm to stop you from leaving. His grip on your arm was firm but not painful. You stopped in your tracks before closing your eyes and your tense shoulders relaxing at his touch.
"Sam." You intended for your voice to come out firm, but instead, it came out hoarse, almost tired.
Sam gently pulled you back towards him, and you let him turn you around so he could see him. Your eyes were still closed as you faced him, his grip on your arm slowly moving up and resting on your shoulder, his other hand moving to rest on your other shoulder.
You eventually opened your eyes to find Sam studying your face. His eyes were like a green haze. The warm lighting of the room made the flecks of brown and gold scattered throughout his eyes more prominent, threatening to take over the green.
Sam said your name softly as his thumbs started to swipe against your bare skin. "I do care about you, more than you know."
You scoffed. "Well, you have a shit way of showing it." His flawed logic was making the anger you felt earlier begin to rise again.
"I know, I know," Sam took a deep breath before speaking again. "When I saw you come into the room, you made me feel things I hadn't felt in a long time. So I thought if I was cold towards you, they would go away or at least hide what I actually felt toward you."
Irritation swelled in your chest.
"So, you decided to take the playground approach? Newsflash, Sam, you're an adult, and being a dick to someone won't make them like you. If you really wanted to make someone like you, you would be yourself or have the decency to be nice to them." You glared up at Sam as you ranted.
Sam smiled. That man started to smile, and it did nothing to quell the anger bubbling underneath your skin.
"What the hell are you smiling at Winchester?"
He shook his head, clearly trying to shove down his amusement. But his dimples threatened to appear as he cleared his throat and arranged his face into a more neutral expression before speaking.
"Look, I am sorry for how I treated you. I know we aren't kids, and I shouldn't have acted like a child toward you, but sometimes you make me feel like a stupid kid with a crush." Sam's hands squeezed your shoulders before they moved down your hands and held them.
You pursed your lips to bite back a smile that wanted to appear on your face. You felt your stomach flutter at Sam's admission as you looked down at your connected hands, his hands engulfing yours as his thumbs rubbed circles into the tops of them.
"You know, for someone so intelligent, you can be really dumb." You said as you inched closer to Sam.
Sam let out a chuckle at your words, a red hue on his cheeks growing as he smiled sheepishly down at you. You couldn't help but let a smile appear on your face at the sound of his amusement.
"Yeah, I know. I just really like you, and you make me feel stupid sometimes." Sam sighed as he stared down at you.
"Well, you're in luck because I seem to like your dumb ass too." You let go of one of his hands to cup his cheek.
Sam leaned into your touch. "Really?" His eyes lit up like he was a kid in a candy shop.
You rolled your eyes at the giant in front of you and pinched his cheek playfully. "No," You deadpan. "Although, your brother on the other hand…" You grinned sarcastically at him.
Sam took his turn to roll his eyes at you, and before you could tell him you were kidding, he let go of your hand, grabbed the nape of your neck, and pulled you into a passionate kiss.
You almost yelped into his mouth from how fast Sam moved. His other hand moved to your waist as your hand that wasn't cupping his cheek went to rest on his shoulder. Sam moved the two backward until he sat down on the edge of the bed, lifted you, and placed you on his lap.
Desire filled your veins as Sam's lips moved against yours fervently. A small moan fell from your lips as Sam nipped at your bottom lip and took the opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth, groaning lowly when your tongue slid against his.
It was as if you were both finally on the same wavelength because, in moments, his tongue was already exploring the inside of your mouth. His hands slide down to your sides, where he caresses your body with both his hands. You both seemed to be completely lost in this kiss, as you both forgot about anything else around you, like time and space.
His lips eventually left yours, feeling out of breath as he dotted kisses across your jaw and down your neck. His hands moved to the hem of your tanktop and slid it up, slowly exposing more and more of your skin until it was entirely off, leaving you in your bra in front of him. Sam managed to rip his lips from your neck to drink in your body, his hazel eyes dark with desire.
"You're so beautiful." He breathed out as his hands moved up your back, almost covering the entire length of it from how big his hands were. Sam reaches for the clasp of your bra but stops when he brushes over the bandage on your back. Sam pulled back slightly, looking at you with a slight frown on his face.
You wanted to do nothing but kiss it away, so you did. Your lips touched Sam's softly as your hands reached for the hem of his shirt. He let you take it off of him, only breaking from the kiss to get it over his head.
You drank in Sam's bare torso. Taking in every inch of him. His tattoo stands out against his tanned skin, his muscles expanding and contracting as he breathes heavily. Sam was like a marble statue that came to life.
The motel room was silent, save for your and Sam's heavy breathing as you stared at each other. Sam's hand was still resting on the part of your back that was bandaged.
"You sure you're up for this right now?" Sam asked with concern, lacing his tone.
You smiled at him and nodded. "I might implode if you stop right now."
Sam laughed at your words, his dimples appearing as he smiled widely at you. "Oh, wow. Implode huh?" He raised his eyebrows in surprise as his smile turned into a flirty smirk.
You nodded, a serious expression on your face as you rested your forehead on his. "Yep, we wouldn't want that happening now would we?" A sultry smile on your face as you teased his lips with little pecks.
Sam's hands moved back to your waist and squeezed. "No we wouldn't." He answered before he caught your lips between his. Your hands moved from his bare shoulders to the nape of his neck, and you started to tug at the longer strands of hair, making him groan into the kiss.
Sam's hands moved up your back and unclasped your bra, almost tearing the straps off as he tugged them from your arms and threw the bra somewhere in the room. His lips left yours to trail down your neck and chest, and you leaned back, exposing your chest to him more. And you let out a soft moan, feeling him nip at your smooth skin and taking one of your nipples in his mouth, licking and sucking at it.
The hands that were wound in his head began to tug at his hair harder as he moved from one breast to the other. He let out a low growl against you, sending vibrations down your spine and into the heat that was pooling in your core.
One of Sam's hands moved down your body and to the front of your pants, and the button on your jeans popped open with a flick of his fingers. His hand slowly made its way past your underwear, and he pulled away from your chest with a groan when he felt how wet you were.
"This all for me?" Sam asked with a salacious grin on his face as two of his fingers swiped through your slit, coating his fingers and moving up to rub at your clit. You whimpered as you nodded, your hips rutting against his hand, and you could feel yourself getting wetter as he rubbed at your clit faster.
Sam abruptly stopped, pulled his hand away, and tugged at your pants urgently. You managed to get out of your pants and underwear with the help of his insistent hands, and once they were off, he grabbed your hips and fell backward on the bed, pulling you up until your naked core was level with his face.
"Sam!" You yelped, surprised at his strength and sudden manhandling.
"I don't want to hurt your back, but I really need to taste you," Sam said as he looked at your cunt hungrily.
"You sure?" You looked down at him hesitantly.
Sam's eyes softened as he looked up at you, his thumbs drawing circles on your thighs. "We can stop right here if you want."
You bit down on your bottom lip before shaking your head. "Just don't want to hurt you."
"You won't," He reassured you before smirking. "Besides, I wouldn't mind going out like this. 'S better than the alternative."
You laughed at Sam's words, putting you at ease, and you nodded at him to go ahead.
"I'll need words pretty girl." Sam squeezed your thighs.
You felt a heat bloom on your face and in your core at his words as you brushed back Sam's bangs from his forehead.
"Sam, please I need you." You all but whined.
"You have me." Sam said before pulling you on top of his face, burying his head between your thighs as his tongue began to lick and suck at your clit.
Moans began to escape your lips as your hips began to rut into his face, his tongue now lapping at your entrance as his nose nudged against your sensitive nub. You could feel the knot in your lower belly get tighter and tighter as Sam moved back to suck at your clit, and two of his fingers prodded at your entrance before slipping with little resistance. You felt so full with his fingers inside you. Sam's fingers quickly found your g-spot and began to rub at it, making you arch your back almost painfully at the intense pleasure Sam was giving you.
"Fuck! Sam I-I'm close."
At your words, Sam seemed to grow even hungrier for you to come. You tugged at his hair hard and rutted against his face faster before he sucked at your clit hard and pressed against your g-spot, making you fall over the edge as stars danced behind your eyes and you clenched around his fingers.
You could feel the vibration of Sam's low groan in your cunt as he tasted you, lapping at you until you were too sensitive. You climbed off of him with shakey legs and collapsed beside him; a layer of sweat coated the entirety of your naked body as you tried to catch your breath. Sam pressed soft kisses to your shoulder and collarbone as he waited for you to calm down.
Once you had calmed down, Sam caught your lips in a soft kiss.
"You okay?" He mumbled against your lips.
"More than." You smiled against his lips before you kissed him deeply. Sam slowly moved to hover over you. One of your hands moved from the bed to the waistband of the pants that Sam was wearing and inched downward until it cupped the bulge that was very prominent in his sweatpants.
Sam's groan was muffled by your lips, but before you could even think about taking off Sam's belt, the motel room door swung open and hit the wall with a slam. You and Sam quickly separated, and bless Sam, he pulled the covers over you to shield Dean's eyes from your naked form as he stood at the foot of the bed.
"Woah!" You heard Dean exclaim, and you looked over to see him walking back outside and closing the door.
"Finally! You could have cut the sexual tension between the two of you with a knife. But make sure to put a sock on the doorknob next time," Dean said through the closed door of the motel. You and Sam looked at each other, both of you flustered by the fact that Dean walked in on you guys.
"I'll be in the Impala tonight. Sammy, make sure you use protection!" He called through the door and promptly walked away from the door.
You stared at Sam before breaking out into a fit of laughter. Sam started to chuckle as he heard you laughing. A warmth bloomed in his chest when he saw your body shake. You laughed a bit too hard, and you felt a sharp pain come from your back. Sam saw you winced and walked over to you with worry in his eyes.
"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" His eyes flicked up and down your body quickly.
You shook your head, "No, just my back, I might have pulled a stitch or something."
"Let me check." Sam gestured for you to turn around.
You took off the covers and rolled onto your stomach to let Sam check your stitches. You felt him pull back the bandage before replacing it again.
"You didn't tear anything, but it's probably not a good idea to continue with what we were doing before Dean barged in."
You huffed a laugh as you turned back to face Sam. "You mean before you were about to fuck me?"
Sam flushed red at your words but threw his head back to laugh. The sound made you grin before you joined in; his giggles were infectious.
"Yeah, before that." He nodded and responded when he calmed down, the occasional chuckle escaping his lips.
You sighed dramatically. "If you insist." You knew it wasn't a good idea to have sex with him when your back was out of commission, but it didn't mean that you wanted to jump his bones; you really did.
Sam smiled before patting your thigh and getting up from the bed to grab the shirt he was wearing earlier that night and toss it to you. You caught it, and you couldn't help but smile as you put it on his shirt. You were engulfed by Sam's smell. The notes of citrus, mint, mahogany, and his musk made you melt inside.
The two of you got underneath the covers of the bed, and Sam was quick to tuck you into his side. You threw your leg over his hips as you used his bicep as a pillow. You let out a contented sigh as you settled in Sam's embrace.
Sam looked over at you, used his free hand to tilt your chin towards him, and kissed you gently. "Goodnight." He murmured against your lips.
"Night Sammy." You whispered before giving him one last lingering kiss and tucking your head in the crook of his neck. The events of the day hit you, and with the warmth of Sam's bare chest, the exhaustion consumed you. The last thing you could remember before you entered your dreamscape was Sam kissing your forehead softly before pulling you closer to him.
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minniesmutt · 5 months ago
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☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐢 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮
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☾ ━━━ PAIRING: HAN X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: GHOST!HAN, MEDIUM!READER, MASTURBATION, SEX TOYS, PERV!HAN, EXHIBITIONISM (?), POSSESSION, PENETRATION, UNPROTECTED SEX (?), MULTIPLE ROUNDS (2), MULTIPLE ORGASMS, DOM!JISUNG, PET NAMES (BABY, BABE). THE WORD “PERVERT” IS JOKINGLY THROWN AROUND, LMK IF I MISSED SOMETHING! ☾ ━━━ WC: 1.8K ☾ ━━━ repost from old blog ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog
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     The moment Y/n stepped into the apartment to tour it, she knew there was something in there. The relator did disclose someone had recently died in the apartment —which explained the lowered price compared to most units in the building. And she’d have to be crazy to not take that deal.
     A month after moving in, is when she actually noticed it. She’d always been more sensitive to the dead, seeing ghosts and the like. Never really interacted until now. 
     It was a long day after work. She was sitting on the couch watching one of her shows, trying to destress. Then she saw him. At first, she felt his presence and turned to him. The ghost had zero clue she had actually seen him. 
     “You know I can see you, right?” she asked him
     He blinked and took a moment to realize she was talking to him. 
     “Me?” he asked, pointing to himself 
     “Is there another ghost here I don’t know about?” 
     It was a very weird friendship from that point on. It was like having a pet. Jisung was always there, never left, a good companion. He just wasn’t as expensive as a pet. Oddly, he became one of her best friends and she told everything to him. And who was he going to tell?
     “What’s one thing you miss about living?” Y/n asked him one night as they were watching an anime he suggested.
     “Besides coffee and food; sex,” Jisung admitted 
     “Really?”
     “Yeah. Speaking of sex, you’re loud.”
     “Do you listen to me masturbating?” Y/n looked at him
     “Not by choice? I haunt this small one bedroom one bath unit. It’s hard not to hear,” Jisung defended himself. 
     “Perv,” Y/n joked and threw a pillow at him, just for it to go through him. 
     Jisung was very good at being able to take energy to take somewhat of a physical form. He was able to sit on the couch and chairs and pick up small items. Still was able to walk through basically everything and stuff mostly phased through him. Helped a bit that Y/n was a natural medium so he could pull from her to stabilize himself in the land of the living. 
     “Me?! I’ve seen some of the guys you’ve brought home! They are into some weird grade-A pervert things.”
     “I can’t even defend them because you’re right,” Y/n sighed, “They all suck in bed anyways.”
     “I know. Need I remind you of last weekend?”
     “No.” Y/n flushed, remembering when the guy she invited over in the midst of being just absolutely desperate for an actual cock.
     The guy had left after he finished and didn’t bother helping her get off and he was just an ass the whole time. Jisung watched the guy leave not even an hour later. He locked the apartment door after him before going and checking on her. 
     He didn’t think much of just walking through the wall into her room, only the be met with her fucking herself on a dildo. He should have left after but he definitely didn’t. She didn’t even notice his presence until after she finished.
     “You didn’t need to watch,” Y/n sighed
     “I mean, it was kind of hot,” Jisung shrugged 
     “Perv,” Y/n called him again
     “I can’t even really deny it now.” The two laughed as they switched their topic to the dumbass shit the mc in the anime was doing at the moment. 
     Three in the morning, Y/n was turning in bed, unable to sleep, and thinking about her earlier conversation with her ghost best friend. At the time the incident happened, she was shocked at him but thinking about it late at night, it was kind of hot.
     “Fuck,” Y/n groaned, dipping her hand into her pajama pants and panties. Rubbing circles into her clit slowly. 
     She could feel Jisung close by in the small apartment. Not in the bedroom, but close. Y/n moved down to push a finger into her, eyes shut as she went through rubbing her walls and thrusting her finger in and out. 
     It wasn’t enough though. Even after she added a second finger into her, it wasn’t satisfying. She pulled her fingers out and sat up, grabbing a dildo and lube bottle from her bedside drawer and stripping herself of her pajamas and panties, rubbing lube on the toy before slowly pushing it into her, imagining her ghost roommate instead. 
     Jisung heard a noise coming from her room. At first, he thought nothing but curiosity hit. He stood outside her cracked door. Then he heard his name being moaned from inside. He went into the room and his jaw dropped at the sight. 
     The pretty girl that had moved into his old apartment in the wake of his death, was laying stark naked in his old room fucking herself with a toy, moaning his name. He didn’t know ghosts could get hard until now. 
     His eyes raked all along her body from her pretty cunt to her perky nipples. He was frozen. Not knowing what to do. Should he say something? Would she let him fuck her instead? Could he even fuck her?
     “Please, Ji. Wanna come,” Y/n whined as she pumped the dildo in and out of her. 
     If he could be in any more shock, he would. She was really fucking herself to the thought of him. God he wished he was alive. 
     Y/n sensed him in the room now. She was too wrapped up in her pleasure to look for him. Her legs opened more, slightly hoping he was watching her fuck herself again. The thought alone turned her on more. Suddenly she felt it get colder near her bed before it dipped down at the end. She slowed down and opened her eyes. 
     Jisung was leaning forward on the bed, eyes glued to her cunt. “Keep going baby,” Han told her. 
     Y/n felt shy all of a sudden. Legs closing to his view but he was quick. Pushed her legs open, sitting between them now. Y/n looked at him with wide eyes, no longer even trying to use the dildo. 
     “Don’t get all shy on me baby. Do you need me to help you get off now?” Jisung pushed the dildo into her again, a whine escaping her
     “Please, Ji. Need your help.”
     Her hand fell away as Jisung took over. Using all the energy he had to hold the base and quickly thrust the dildo in and out of her, watching as her hands moved to play with her nipples and head threw back into her pillow. Then he got an idea. 
     He didn’t know if it would work. But if he could phase through walls and sit on the sofa, he could try. 
     He worked the dildo with one hand as he pushed down his sweats. He was glad he did comfy and was going through the afterlife in a hoodie and sweats. His cock sprung free before he pushed the toy deep into her. 
     He took his hand off the toy and pushed himself into it, stopping when he got to his pelvis. Slowly, he pulled out, testing to see if the dildo would come with him. And it did. 
     Jisung smiled as Y/n looked down. Her face went red when she realized he had possessed the dildo. All thoughts left her as he harshly pushed back in, hands holding her hips. Her eyes went wide while Jisung fucked her. 
     His hands were cold on her skin. They left a trail of goosebumps on her skin as they ran up her skin and grabbed her breasts. Nipples hardened more under his phantom touch. 
     Her back arches as the toy hit a particular spot inside her. Legs shaking the longer he fucked her, not losing any stamina. Hips rolling against his before she finally came. Cursing and calling his name as she gripped her sheets. 
     Jisung slowed his pace down to let her come down from her high. He pulled the toy out and his own dick out of it as well while she caught her breath. Jisung looked over the faux cock covered in her juices. He really wished it was his dick instead that was covered. 
     Y/n focused on him staring at the toy. His own cock was still hard between her legs. 
     “Ji,” Y/n called to him. He focused back on her, one hand still on her breasts. 
     “Can I… please let me fuck you babe.” He squeezed her breasts. Y/n moaned before mumbling a “yes” for only him to hear. 
     Jisung wasted no time pushing himself into her again. It was an odd feeling at first. To feel full but not at the same time. Didn’t stop her from feeling him pounding her sensitive hole. 
     Y/n could only imagine just how good he was when he was alive. How she wished they met when he was still breathing. Probably would have saved so much heartbreak and shitty one-night stands. Especially with the way he was talking. 
     “Fuck. Wish I could feel you,” Jisung groaned, leaning over her and groping her breasts. 
     Everything around her was hot but cold at the same time. She was sensitive from the first orgasm on the toy but the odd feeling of Jisung inside her was doing more than she thought it would. 
     One thing she quickly figured out Jisung was a hundred percent a shit-talker during sex when he was alive. Proven by the way he was mumbling about “no one alive is gonna make you feel this good” and the “got you all pretty on my cock, huh? Like having your ghost roommate fuck you silly?”
     Definitely not Casper the Friendly Ghost but he could at least prove his shit talk. He did indeed have her fucked silly at the current moment.
     “Gonna come Ji,” Y/n warned him as her fingers reached between her legs to play with her clit
     “Give it to me baby. Wanna see you come for me,” His eyes watched where he disappeared in her and where she was playing with her clit. 
     Y/n bit her lower lip as she came for a second time that night because of her horny ghost roommate. 
     Jisung didn’t stop until moments later. He was burying himself in her before pulling out. He definitely felt the motions of an orgasm but when he pulled out, nothing followed nor did he feel anything come out. 
     “Damn. No more creampies,” He tsked after a minute once they both came down from their highs. 
     “You poor thing,” Y/n giggled as she sat up on her elbows. 
     “Maybe I should possess your next hook-up,” Jisung joked
     “They’d probably fuck better if you did.”
     Y/n for up on shaky legs to clean up so she could get some sleep. 
     “It wasn’t weird? Fucking a ghost?” Jisung asked once she came back to her room and tossed her pajamas back on. 
     “Kinda. But in a good way,” Y/n answered as she lay down under her covers
     “I wish I was still alive,” Jisung sighed as he lay next to her
     “Me too. But, we could probably have a lot more fun with you being a ghost.”
     “Who's the pervert now?”
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☾ ━━━━━━ M.LIST    TIP JAR
☾ ━━━ please support writers by reblogging and/or leaving feedback
© 2024 MINNIESMUTT. DO NOT COPY, REPUBLISH OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE
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coulsonlives · 2 years ago
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PSA: CAT MEDICAL BILL SCAM
Please signal boost this if possible to inform your followers about these scams.
Earlier today, I got a message from the account nicole-loves-king, where they asked me to signal boost a post because their cat needed medical help. Here's the ask:
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(And you can see the post in question here)
I looked at this post and was immediately put off because they were asking for people to send things through 'friends and family', which if you aren't aware, is a very insecure way to send someone funds using paypal, because you don't have the protections you would get if you used 'goods and services'. So scammers can make off w your money really easily.
I looked at their blog and scrolled down to the end, and I realized their blog was made today! And, all their posts (there weren't many posts to begin with lol) were of trending topics. I noted puss in boots, and welcome to nightvale among others. This is probably how they found me, because I reblogged some of that stuff recently.
Here's the time stamp from their oldest post (notice it says the time, not the date, which means the post was from today):
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In their ask, they also tell you to answer privately. Hm, that seems sus. Why would someone not want you to publish a request for help?
So I have a policy where I don't signal boost posts from brand new blogs because, yknow, they could be scams. I posted this, and the scam account blocked me. They also blocked my friend when they replied to their ask and said their blog looked suspicious. I did some more digging, and I found a comment from someone that confirmed my suspicions:
This is in fact a scam!
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@nicstonka is almost identical to the above account (nicole-loves-king). Look at the avatar, the pictures, and the paypal address, both accounts even have 'nic' (as in 'nicole') in the name. The only thing that is extremely different is the name of the cat! Yet both blogs also have the name of the cat in their url ('king' and 'tonka'). That should also be a red flag, because usually someone isn't gonna have the name of their pet in their url, only a few posts, and a signal boost for that exact (fake) pet.
Here's a side by side:
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Looks at those paypal accounts: nbrunelle519, and nbrunelle391. Nope definitely not a scam /s
And the cat pictures side by side:
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Tumblr's "scam" tag is actually full of these reports now, which you can see here. Or if there's nothing there anymore, click here and here for images.
And links to some older PSAs about other cat scams: 1 2 3
So if you see any blogs like this, where all they have is trending posts, it seems like they've copied and pasted an ask to you, or if they're asking you to send things via friends and family, vet them so so so carefully, because chances are you're walking into a scam. Don't just repost things without carefully checking! If you aren't in a position to check carefully, better safe than sorry: don't repost it! Don't let these scams spread.
Pro tip: If a blog is dash only, so you can't view their archive to see when their first post was made, and you're on desktop, you can just open the blog in its dashboard view, then click 'end' on your keyboard over and over until all their posts are loaded. Usually if it's a spam blog, you'll only need to click 'end' 5-6 times, sometimes a bit more, since they only post just enough times to give the appearance they're active, then there's absolutely nothing after that.
If you want more proof someone is a scammer, you can look at the currency they use their post (or the currency shown in the vet bill), then hover over the paypal link and inspect the part of the url that says 'country.x=AA'. The 'AA' is the abbreviation for the country your money is going to! If that country doesn't match the country of the currency shown in the post, it's a scam! Example: someone's post says '$' for USD/CAD dollars, but the country in their paypal link is 'PH', which stands for Philippines, where they use Philippine pesos, not dollars!
Also keep in mind that these are not bots! There is a real person behind these accounts. They have replied to people who wanted to confirm they were real, but their intentions are still to scam you, they just know it looks better if they reply.
Stay safe!!
Edit:
Updating this post to announce the scammer's made more blogs, and they're probably gonna keep doing it! Here's the list so far. This isn't up to date btw, go to @scamarchive and check their pinned post for the most recent detected blogs
turncoatrune, starlightdisc, xxmy, wxnt, eeyore-pg, coatedpeanbean, starrypanelstars, panelstars, scyllostyle, the-nonbinary-witch, aash-aash, leechness, ash-aahs, commandobutch, lovely-pages, pagefive-to-six, reconnecteed, five-and-fourty, stepsapphic, farmer-butch0, health-pages, turnersapphic, lxve, march-pls-be-good, emberful, imse7en, kassidymaygemz, kassidymaydream, dreamingkassidy, kasdream, live-march, confusedskulll, march-lives, criticaltuesday, quicksilvah, wrldy, quicksilveey, the-stucked-pan, flurrbum, o345, nxce, thls, hokkairi, sykdykee, furrtasticbu, bumfurry, supsense, wickdart, the90sbest
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Keep in mind you may not receive an ask like the above ones. You may get something simpler like this, instead:
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Most of these are cats, but there's been dogs and even people too.
If you wanna get even more info on all these accounts, there's an archive of this scammer's pinned posts and asks here, so you can see at a glance how similar they all are. You can also see a comprehensive list of scammer red flags specifically for tumblr here!
And lastly, you can report the scams using 'report something else' > 'unlawful uses or content' > 'phishing'
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brujamala-aka-gigi · 5 months ago
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random messages from the tarot
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pick a pile, who knows, maybe there's something of use here...
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pile 1. pile 2. pile 3. images are from pinterest dividers by @tsunami-of-tears
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Pile Number One
Solitude will help you comprehend some kind of harm made (by yourself or my others). This is a point where a more solid understanding of feelings is needed, in order to process extreme emotions which might be understandable, yet their chaotic manifestation is doing nothing good for them. Don't feel weirded out or overwhelmed about feelings of nothingness, it is a common occurrence after periods of emotional stress, and nothingness itself it's and opportunity to create and grow from it. You might feel as if something did not bring the prosperity or the success you expected, but it wouldn't be wise to let your emotions block your ability to analyse how to channel your potential properly.
Running away from problems is not as useful as looking at them from a distance. Challenging your defense mechanisms will bring you closer to abundance, both material and spiritual. Loosing control is never ideal, but usually when that happens it's because you are not being realistic with what you are actually responsible for in your life. Things might not go our way, but they go the way the go for a reason.
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Pile Number Two...
Remain cautious with impulsive actions, specially when you can't explain how a thought or a feeling got in your head in the first place. There's plenty to learn and plenty to teach, but this won't be fruitful unless it's in the company of others. Open your mind to new opinions and new ways of nurturing your thoughts. Although there might be a sense of balance in your life, take into consideration anything that could ruin it, and be prepared to act accordingly. It's a good moment to establish boundaries, not only for others but also for yourself.
Whenever faced with conflictive people or situations, be aware of how valuable someone's words by seeing how the act. Trust your gut if you feel like there are missing pieces of information, yet don't allow yourself to become paranoid. There's trust worthy people near you, but you have to be willing to let them grow alongside you. You are about to approach a new journey of self development once you become less cynic when it comes to people, which is fine sometimes, but don't let that be a defence mechanism to remain in your comfort zone.
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Pile Number Three...
There's a lot of potential for you to become a higher version of yourself, but a lack of opportunities might got you thinking that it's not an option. Even when the opportunities are not there, and injustice is present, don't loose focus of what constitutes your true essence. Frustration will make you isolated, as this is not true to who you are. But during this periods of justified anger, new ideas will be born and will guide you towards new perceptions of success.
Protect what's pure to yourself and be ready to fight for the spaces you know you deserve. Many misunderstandings will come from your energy being blocked and people taking advantage of it. You can have the certainty that this moment of your life will end well. Learning experiences like this are meant for us to show ourselves our own strength, and to test how much we've learnt. As long as you remain conscious of your true nature and your personal power
Don't fear your own potential, and don't fear new responsibilities when it comes to others and yourself.
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pssst... check my blog for more p.a.c. readings and stay tuned for an ask game <3
。 ゚ ꒰ঌ ✦ MASTERPOST & PAID SERVICES໒꒱ ��*.゚
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james-is-here · 6 months ago
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Babes, Okay, Cheat fic idea and guess what....I use my ex's actual name cause he was honestly a jerk on the brink of being a dick.
The plot twist is that this cheat fic is more like a revenge fic in a way cause- Well, just read it, it's better than explaining it 😅 the member I used is also a mystery and I gave Mn arm tats cause it's a weakness of mine.
Specifically for @succubus-hansol because filth. This smut is filthy and messy.
Blogs: @belladonna6-6-6 @heartbinn @leezanetheofficial @yongbokkk @michelle4eve @dontwannaexsist (Imk if I forgot you or you want to be added.
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You were none the wiser about what your boyfriend was doing. You loved Shawn and he loved you, you trusted him and never saw him badly, he was the sweetest.
You didn't suspect the new cologne on him, the new hoodie, bruises, new necklaces, hiding his phone, elated attitude when he visited you, giving you vague answers when you ask where he's going....
Wait...
You didn't give him those things and his recent hiding from you is suspicious. How have you not looked into it sooner? Especially when he use to shrug when you took his phone, now he makes up excuses as to getting it out of your hand.
"Hey, where you going?" "Um...my mom needs my to help in her garden. I'll be back later." Okay, that's suspicious. "Isn't your car with your brother?" "Oh, I'm taking an uber." "Oh, okay. Love you!" You yell but he's already out the door. That's what tipped you off, first he was wearing an unbuttoned dress shirt and loose fitting slacks and boots. Second, he hates getting dirty, he doesn't do anything that gets him or his hands dirty.
When he came home hours later, he was tipsy, swaying everywhere and tripping over his feet before collapsing onto the couch and you watched from the dining table.
His phone ends up on the floor and you take the chance to check it. You two shouldn't hide things from each other but he does and you can't help but to listen to the devil on your shoulder, while your angel is trying to get you to trust Shawn but all you do is block it out.
You pick up his phone and unlock it, surprisingly it's the same passcode as always and yet he keeps it from you. Opening his app history, you see his messages and see that he's texting someone with the cliche contact name of "Doordash". Did he really think that you'd think the app itself was texting him?
Doordash: You just left and I already miss you 🥺
Doordash: When can we meet up again?
Doordash: I'm free tomorrow, wanna meet up at the convenience store next to my place?
Is he...seeing someone behind your back? Clearly this person doesn't know about you like you didn't know about him.
Scrolling through other messages, your chest tightens when you check a chat and realize that's it's yours and he fucking named you "Grubhub".
There's other contacts and fake names that haven't had any interactions in years, you and "Doordash" are the only ones minus his family members.
You pull out your phone and open your uber that you shared with him. Last ride on your account was surprisingly thirty minutes away. Closing out of the app and opening your contacts, you make a new one and save the "Doordash" number before going back to the other persons number.
After forever of texting Shawn, you know how to play the part.
You: Of course ❤️ I'm free as well, what time?
Doordash: Five okay with you? Wanna take you out before taking you to my bed. 😏
Damn, whoever this was is one smooth motherfucker.
You: Oh I can't wait 😩 See you then 😘
You delete the messages on your end then put the phone back with Shawn and leave yourself a reminder of what you just committed to.
What's shocking is you don't really feel hurt that he's been lying to you. Maybe a little but honestly you think you'll survive without Shawn.
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When your reminder went off, Shawn was passed out in bed still. He woke up on the couch, hungover and in pain, so he was sleeping the previous night off.
"Mn, where you going?" He mumbled when he heard you digging through your closet. "Boss called me in for a little bit for a staff meeting and I need to pick up my paycheck. Won't be gone long." "Mmm okay." He hums as he stretches before settling and promptly passing out.
Leaving the bedroom with jeans and a grey t-shirt hoodie with the sleeves rolled up, showing the black ink chinese dragon wrapped around your right forearm and ivy vines wrapped around your left.
You grab a white cap and your keys, slipping on your shoes then heading out the door. The drive is short and you have to park across the street but looking around, you don't see anyone possibly looking for someone else until ten minutes after the set time.
A guy wearing all black walked to the door of the convenience store and leaned against the wall next to it, checking his phone and then turning his head back and forth, this has to be him.
Turning off your car, you get out quickly then cross the street, leaning on the other side of the door. You wait a couple minutes, glancing at him a couple times before the bell of the store rings. "Excuse me, you both are loitering. Either come in and get something or leave." The store owner scolds and you went to speak but the other spoke first. "Sorry, Ma'am, I'm just waiting for my boyfriend-" You quickly jump in, knowing she won't take that as an excuse. "No problem, Ma'am, we'll get out of your hair."
You give the other a tight lipped smile and walk over to him. "Sorry, come on." He surprisingly follows you to the side of the shop and you both find a bench. "Um, so why'd you do that? I was actually waiting for someone." "Sorry, again. Who were you waiting for?" "My boyfriend. His name is Shawn. I really should at least go back, at least nearby so he can find me."
He goes to stand but you stop him. "So you're Doordash?" "I- Excuse me?" Sighing, you rub your eyes and lean back. "Uh, okay...Shawn wasn't the one that messaged you to meet him here. It was me. He's also my boyfriend..." "What? No, Shawn wouldn't do that to me." "I thought the same thing. He told me last night he was going to help his mom in the garden." He sat up and looked at you almost in realization. "When he left my place he said he needed to get home to take care of his mom cause she was sick." "He came home tipsy last night." "We...We drank last night, how the fuck didn't I make that connection?" He berates himself and slouches back against the bench.
You both stare at the road ahead of you before you speak up. "Well...I'm Mn. What's your actually name Mister Doordash?" "Doordash?" You snicker at his confused face, thinking about it he is really cute. "Shawn named you Doordash in his phone. I was Grubhub." "That's so dumb." "That's what I said!" You laughed and a small smile graces his face. "I'm Chris or Chan. Guess it's...nice to meet you? I don't know." "I don't know either."
You both stare at the road again but you turn to look at Chan. He really did look cute, you guess Shawn can choose good men. He has a good looking face, fluffy hair peaking out of the beanie he wore, and you couldn't help but take in every detail, including how soft his lips looked, then you realized they were moving.
"Your ink looks cool." "Huh?" You blink, spaced out for a moment. "Your tats, they look really cool." "Oh, thanks." "So...Since we're both currently ghosting Shawn, wanna go get something to eat? It's better than sitting here and honestly I don't want to go home yet." You notice he's looking down at his fidgeting hands and glancing at your arms.
"Yeah, beats failing to try and get back at him and not coming up with anything." Honestly, since looking through his phone, the devil on your shoulder has taken the reins and you honestly wouldn't mind getting back at Shawn by using Chan.
"Can I be straight with you?" "Um, I think that'd still make you gay." You shake your head with a smirk as you laugh, throwing your head back. "Oh, you got jokes, huh?" He lets out a laugh and it's clear that the awkwardness is gone.
"I meant, smartass, can I be honest with you?" He giggles and nods. "Yeah." "We go get food, I pay, and then we get back at Shawn." "We?" You hum and stand up. "Food first, honestly I'm really hungry. I'll tell you then, yeah?" He sits up, looking up at you and then sighing and standing. "Yeah, okay. You will pay, right? Shawn makes me pay." "I always pay." "Okay then."
He actually takes you to Changbin's restaurant, his best friend. A homey bistro Chan helped him make a reality. "Who's this?" Changbin asked when Chan brought you to the bar in front of the open kitchen. "Funny story, actually. Mn, this is Changbin. Changbin, this is Mn, Shawn's boyfriend." Changbin choked on the water he was sipping and almost dropped his cup.
"You're joking." Chan sighs and sits down, you sitting next to him. "Nope. Apparently we were secrets, even in his phone." "Ooh, what were your names?" Changbin has heard of fast food contact names but has never heard it in person so he was eager to hear as he leaned on the bar in front of him. "Doordash." Chan answered and you followed with, "Grubhub."
Changbin grimaces and whistles lowly. "That's sucks. Anyways, whatcha want to eat?" Chan orders his and you get the same thing, not really sure what to get since his friend's menu looked really good.
When he delivered your food, Chan immediately started eating but you messed with your fries. "Hey, daydreamer, you okay?" Changbin teases when he returned from another customer. "Oh, yeah." "Thought you were super stunned by your food but you haven't even eaten anything." "Sorry, just never been cheated on and I feel like I should be upset. I mean I am but I also don't care." "People react differently. Honestly, if I was you I'd get revenge sex." Chan choked on his soda, couching and gasping and you reach over and pat his back.
"Ch-Changbin!" "What? That's just me." He holds his hands up in surrender. "I like you...funnily enough, I've actually been thinking the same thing." "Seriously?" Chan cleans up the soda he spilled and Changbin lowers his hands. "Yeah."
Chan didn't know how to answer, he just looked away and this time it was him staring at his fries. "Well, sleeping with other people wouldn't really be revenge but I guess-" "Dude, of course it's not revenge. I meant you and Mn. I-I mean if you want, y'know." Then he glances at you. "He's not bad looking, if you don't take him I will." You chuckle shyly while finally eating your fries. "Plus, you do have a thing for tat-" "Changbin! Please...I love you, mate, but shut up." "Dude, don't yell at me, you literally look like you brought him on a date."
He suddenly looks around, an older couple in a booth, a younger couple a couple seats down from you at the bar, and a teen on a laptop with headphones on at a table near the window. Looking at you, he smiles sheepishly. "Sorry." "It's okay. Also wouldn't mind getting revenge with you." "Really?" "Yeah." You smile, looking down at the counter, glancing at Chan's friend then back to Chan. "Shawn is good a picking the cute ones."
He sighs, a shy grin on his face as he rests his elbows on the counter and covers his face. "He flusters easily, doesn't he?" "He's usually confident and flirty, this is a first." "Oh really?" Changbin snickers when you lean over to Chan and he doesn't notice. "Chan?" He uncovers his face to look at Changbin but jumps when he sees your smirking face, dropping his hands onto the counter with a small slap as he leans away, hiding his smile in his shoulder as he completely blocks the two of you out.
"You both are jerks." You lean back to your seat with a soft chuckle and watch Chan straighten back up. "Are you serious though?" "I'm not usually one to sleep with people I just met but yeah, I am." Suddenly Changbin is harshly setting down his towel on the counter and leaving from behind the bar and coming over to Chan, pushing him out of his chair then pushing you out of yours.
"For two people who just met, there's a lot of tension so go take care of it, lunch is on me, go, go, go." "Wait, I said I'd pay though." "Don't fight with Changbin, if he says it's on him, it's on him, I've tried." Chan answers you as his friend shoves you out.
"Go, forget Shawn, have fun, I don't know." He pushes you out the door and then shrugs at the end of his sentence. "I swear, why am I friends with him?" "I heard that!" He yelled from the other side of the door.
Standing there awkwardly, you put your hands in your pockets and look down at the sidewalk. "Um, we don't have to at this moment...we could just watch a movie if that's okay." Maybe a movie could relax your nerves a little. "Yeah, that's okay." He smiles and steps away with you following, taking you to his place which is surprisingly a block away.
His apartment was cozy, not too many decorations but enough to show his personality and what he likes. "It not much but it's mine." is what he said when the both of you entered. "It's nice." You replied.
Now you sat on his couch, he sat cross legged on one side and you were stretched out on the other, arms crossed lazily on your stomach. It was a bit awkward, just sitting there in silence but it was okay.
Chan suddenly moved to sit closer to you and you glance at him from your peripheral. "How long had you been with Shawn?" "Mmm a year?" "Damn..." "What?" "He was with you before me. Six months." You shake your head, honestly astonished with this information.
Bringing up his knees, you saw his hand reach out to your leg before it stopped and his arm wrapped around his legs. Bringing a knee up, your thigh moved closer to him and you readjust, an arm going over the back of the couch, and he moved slowly to mess with the threads of your ripped jeans, turning his head only slightly but mostly hiding his face in his knees.
He slowly moves from the threads to the edge of the rip and then his fingers slip into the rips, fingers soft on the small exposure of your thigh.
Hesitantly, you take his hand into yours, just holding it but he tightens the hold slightly and pulls it towards him while crossing his legs and holding it in his lap, not even realizing he's practically encased himself with your arms in front of him and behind him.
His fingers are light while tracing over the head of your tattooed dragon, tracing its body and turning your arm to trace the lightning around its body. You stare at the side of his head, watching his eyes take in the details of the ink.
For a moment, you get lost in his beautiful features. You suddenly act on impulse, his hands moving from your arm when you raise your hand to his chin and turned him towards you. "You trapped yourself." You said softly and his eyes move around rapidly and suddenly realize where he is. "O-Oh, sorry." "You really do like people with ink, don't you?" "Yeah. I-I don't know why...just looks cool."
Tilting your head, you move forward and kiss his cheek, then his jaw, and when he doesn't pull away you move under his jaw, your kisses were soft and were barely there.
He inhaled sharply when you pressed your lips under his jaw, specifically under his ear, and you graze your teeth over the spot to get his reaction, a barely audible whine, before biting and sucking. Biting his lip, he lets out a soft moan and automatically tilts his head to give you more room and you move your hand from holding his chin to under the other side of his jaw and hold him where he was.
Attacking more of his neck, his noises were soft and held back as he kept his mouth shut, his hand moving to your knee, nails digging into your knees and causing a dull pain but your jeans lessen it.
Your hand moves to his thigh as you move back on the couch, getting closer and pulling his thigh towards you which makes the male move, uncrossing his legs and moving just as close.
Without thinking, your left hand still on the back of the couch moves to the back of his head, tangling your fingers into his hair then pull him back. That finally got a noise out of him, his lips parting and letting out a soft moan as he turns his head slightly towards you, lips still parted as his chest heaves out the soft pants he's panting out. His eyes wide and glancing at your lips, shining with spit from your recent attack.
You lean forward slowly, tilting your head and your lips barely touch before one of your phones is ringing. Pulling away, you look towards the sound and find your phone on the coffee table, Shawn's contact on the screen.
Looking back to Chan, he nods his head and you let go of his hair, leaning forward and picking your phone up before answering it bringing it to your ear at the same time Chan sits up, pushing you against the back of the couch and you watch as he throws his leg over your spread legs and sits on your lap.
"Oh-" "Mn? You okay, you've been gone for ages." You put the phone on speaker and hold it away from yourself as Chan places his left hand on your neck and his right on your bicep then leans into your neck, returning the marks that you gave him. "Ah~ Yeah, I'm okay, did you need something?" "No, just miss you. Thought it was just a staff meeting and getting your check?" "I-It was, boss kept me longer. He promoted me." "That's amazing!" That promotion was two weeks ago. "So you'll be home soon?" "Yeah, I should be. M-Mom asked me to stop and pick up dog food for Brexit." "Okay...Well, hurt back, yeah?" "I will." "Okay. See you soon, Mn." "You too, bye Shawn."
You hang up, tossing your phone onto the floor softly before placing your hands on Chan's thighs and turning to the left, laying him down and hovering above him between his legs. "You are braver than you look." "Thank you?" He asks with a laugh which made you smile.
"Now, can I continue what I was doing before I was interrupted?" "Yes. Please." Smiling, you lean down, barely touching his lips before you change your mind and lean up slightly, lifting your hand and thumbing his bottom lip, parting his lips further apart, his eyes locked on yours that are on his lips. "So obedient even though you just met me." His eyes flutter as he whines. You gently push his bottom lip back up so he closes mouth around your thumb and it's like automatic as he start sucking it. "How did Shawn get a hold of you? He hates being dominate."
He moans around your thumb when you push into his tongue then slip your thumb from his lips. "I-I'm m-more of a switch...but I haven't really, um, switched...guess I could only find subs so I never was one." "Well, now you can be."
Finally, you lean down and connect your lips, firm and absolutely certain that this is what you want cause when your lips connected with his full, soft ones and they parted easily for you, you didn't want to stop as you slipped your tongue in and swipe it along his, pulling a proper moan out of him and he sounds so good you can't help but groan in return.
His arms drape around your neck and pull you closer. In return, you act on impulse and lower yourself onto him and he moans again when your pelvis meets his, grinding your clothed growing hard-on into his.
Breaking apart for air, you move to his neck again and his back arches closer to you. "H-Hyung- Fuck, sorry." His hand flys to his mouth as you pick your head up. "So you have a thing for tatted older men?" "Am I wrong? I'm sorry." "I'm two years older than Shawn." "Same age as him..." Smiling, you kiss the corner of his mouth. "Then no, you're not wrong."
You lean back down, pressing your lips firmly to his before a ring tone goes off again. "Are you fucking serious?" You groan as you look up and grab Chan's phone, he takes it and answers but his hips still jolt up to meet yours. "Hey." "Chan! I'm bored~ Can we hang out?" "Um, one sec, can you call me back in a few minutes, I'm busy at the current moment." "Oh, yeah, sure." Chan hangs up, putting his phone on the table and pushing you off him to switch spots with him straddling your lap.
He pushes your shirt out of the way and drags his nails down your toned stomach before he comes to your belt, fingers fiddling with your buckle in fake struggle, fingers nudging into your bulge below the accessory as he pulls it apart, the buckle clinking against itself while he unbuttons your pants then slowly dragging down the zipper.
"Chan...Baby, go faster." You pant out before throwing your head back against the cushion when his hand palms you and opens your pants wider to fully hold you. Hissing at the sensation before huff out a moan and look back down at Chan's movements. "Fuck." "Baby make Hyung feel good?" He asked, his eyes wide and wanting as he bit his lip, humping into his own hand. "Yeah, baby. Shit, making hyung feel so good." His hand squeezes your bulge slightly before he lets go and pulls down your boxers.
Hissing at the cold air, you grip his thighs, attempting to pull him closer. "Hyung so...big...and heavy..." He purposefully lets some of his spit drip onto your tip as he begins to stroke you. "Baby, remember, Shawn's calling you back soon." "I know. You answer when he does and switch it to video call." "You crazy?" "For you? I am now. You think I'd let a guy and dick like you go?"
You chuckle as he scoots back on the couch, pulling your jeans further down to your knees and only pulls your boxers down to mid-thigh. "Gonna suck me off, Baby?"
His answer is taking your tip between his lips, tongue lapping at your pre-cum and swirling around your tip. "Fuck, so good." He takes more of you into his mouth, tongue moving rapidly on the underside of your cock, he moans as he pulls off of you with a 'pop' and exhales heavily as he strokes you, licking the underside of your cock. His actions all messy and sticky with saliva and pre.
His phone goes off again and you look over, grabbing it then looking back down to Chan who nods with a dazed smile and blown pupils. Answering it, you change it to video chat and point it at the ceiling before switching the camera to face the floor. "Chan? Why are you showing your floor, silly?"
He taps your thigh as he takes your cock down his throat and you groan as your head falls back, temporarily distracted as his warm, wet mouth takes you all the way in. "Ooh, you jerking off babe? Why didn't you call me sooner?"
You sigh out a moan, lifting your head then facing the phone towards Chan. "Wha- What the fuck, Chan?! You're cheating on me?!" You groan as he pulls up, his tongue sticking out as he reaches your tip and lets it rest on the pink muscle, his eyes blown wide and crossed slightly as he looks up at you. Your hand brushing through his hair, tangling in the strands and scratching his scalp, his eyes close as he moans. "Wait, Mn?! I recognize that tattoo, what the actual fuck?!"
"You cheated on us first..." Chan closes his mouth and starts bobbing his head, slurping and sucking, completely focused on your cock that he's become drunk on. "So don't go yelling at us." "This isn't fair." "What i-isn't fair is y-you cheating on me s-six months after we got together...a-and ch-cheating on Chan with me after that..." You get out through stuttery breaths as Chan's mouth felt so fucking good.
"W-We also know you were hiding us from each other. Doordash and G-Grubhub, really?" Chan gags on your length and gasps as he pulls back, jerking you off quickly as he rests your tip on his tongue again. "Fuck, Baby, go faster...gonna cum, baby, I'm so close." With your words, a moan, and a quick "Oh fuck!" You cum on his tongue as he keeps stroking you, humming at your release shooting into his mouth and when you finish, panting heavily, he licks your tip with the tip of his tongue before pulling back and shows his tongue mainly to you but Shawn was still yelling at the both of you.
He closes his mouth, swallowing your cum then sticking his tongue out to show you it's gone. You push yourself up, flipping the camera around before kissing Chan messily, tongues tangling together and you taste yourself on his tongue.
"We're done Shawn." You lean away from Chan and look at the phone, the younger male moving to leave marks on your neck as well. "Fuck both of you. This isn't fair." He hangs up and you laugh, tossing the phone away gently.
"Isn't fair, is he for real?" You think aloud before Chan is turning your head and kissing you again, moaning into your mouth as he moves back onto your lap and your hands hold his hips. "Hyung, please fuck me, I need you so bad." "Here or your room?" "Fuck me right here, please." "You can beg better, can't you?" "Hyung, please stuff me full. I-I need your cock, need it so bad, please Hyung, please." His his rut into yours, grinding his clothed erection onto yours, moaning freely.
"Baby so needy for his cunt to be full, huh? Only needy for me, right? You'll be mine from now on, right? Always want my cock stuffing you, keeping you full?" "Fuck, Hyung, please~" His moan morphs into a whine as his hips move faster.
You lay him down, sliding off your pants and boxers before pulling of Chan's sweats, finding him wearing only the sweats as his cock slips from the sweats and lays on his stomach, hard and leaking. "Commando, huh?" "I-I always was when I met up with him...now only for you." "Shit, you're so fucking cute." You toss his sweats next to your jeans before taking off your shirt.
"So hot..." His hands find your body as you hover over him and lick into his mouth. Your hand slips under his hoodie, hands smoothing over his skin and pushing up his hoodie. "W-Wait, I want to k-keep this on." "Okay." Your hand squeezes his peck before you move your fingers to pinch his nipple. "Ah~ Shi- S-Sensitive." He moans, arching his back and throwing his head back.
"I'm not removing it, just lifting it up." You say as you push the hoodie out of the way before leaning down and biting his tit. His hands, now covered by the sleeves of the hoodie, find your hair, gripping it when you move to bite and suck his nipple. His moans were music to your ears as you let go of his nipple and kiss up to his neck, biting and sucking under his ear.
"Hyung, please." He takes your cock into his hand, stroking you lazily. "I need to prep you though." "No, please." "Have you bottomed before?" He nods. "Please, I-I want...I need it, Please. I want the stretch...please, Hyung." He begs and you kiss him, your cock still covered in spit as you prop yourself up next to his hip, his legs folding next to your waist and spreading wider.
"Fuck." He wanted to watch but you are way bigger than he anticipated as you pushed yourself in, moving your hand to the side of his other hip. "Hngh~ Ah fuck~" His voice became higher, whinier as he lets out choked moans. "S'good, S'big. Hyungie s'big, ah~" He whines softly as he brings his hands up, clad with sweater paws as he hides his face.
"Yeah? Baby feel good? I haven't started fucking you and you're cock drunk. Has it been that long since you've been fucked?" "Y-Yes." "Then I will give you all I have." "Please, Hyung." "Don't worry, baby, I will."
You push yourself up, sitting back with your hands on his knees, holding him open. "Fuuuck Channie Baby...." Your left hand slides down his thighs and splayed itself on his toned stomach. "You look so fucking good. Such a good looking body, how did I not find you sooner?" Leaning back more only slightly, you gather quite a bit of saliva and let it fall off your tongue, landing on his hole and your length before you push in more.
Your right hand joins your left before holding his waist tightly and pushing forward at the same time you pull him towards you until you're finally all the way inside him. "Fuck~ S-S'full...S'big, fu-hgnh~" He squirms, body restless as he adjusts and his chest heaving heavily as it felt like the air was punched out of his lungs, his hands wanting to push him up to see but they let him go and his back arches.
You move your hands next to his head, mouth attaching to his and you swallow his moans, licking along his tongue, his teeth, the roof of his mouth. You claimed his mouth feverishly as you pull your hips back, leaning on your arm without pulling away to bring his leg up to his chest and hook it over your shoulder, leaning onto the other arm and bringing his other leg up and pushing it out.
"Hyung! Fuck, Fuck, right th-there!" "Already?" "Y-Yes, Yes, please move. Please fuck me, fuck...fuck me a-as if w-we d-didn't just meet each other, please." "Shit, you're gonna be the death of me now."
You push back in hard and he yelps, back arching the furthest so far as the moan he lets out is practically pornagrahic, you immediately thrust into him quick and hard, hitting his prostate dead on and drawing a moan with every harsh thrust into him.
"Fuck, you're so tight, Baby. So warm, so good. Such a good boy, practically letting a stranger fuck you." As he looks at you, his mouth is wide open, moans falling past his lips, and his eyes are blown wide and glassy with want, need, and lust. "M-Mn, F-Fu-uck, Hyung-" He gasps at the harsh thrust, your tip punching into his prostate. "I-I..." He whines, closing his eyes and looking away, covering his face with his right hand.
"You what, baby?" "I-I...I-I can't s-say it...just met you..." "We're w-well past that, Baby, just say it." "Fuck, I'm sorry...I-I l-love you, Hyung...I'm sorry." Leaning down, you give him a kiss, biting his bottom lip before letting it go and returning to hover over him. "It's okay, Baby. It's okay. I love you, too. Gonna take you out after this, screw Shawn, your mine n-now. G-Gonna treat you s-so well, g-gonna spoil my baby."
"Hyung, Fuck!" He arches into your chest, head thrown back. "Shit, don't stop, don't stop, faster, faster, AH FUCK!" Your hand wraps around his length, helping him closer to his high before he's cumming hard, shooting up to where his hoodie is bunched up on his chest and he squeezes hard around your length.
He whines in overstimulation as you keep thrusting into him. "Just a little longer, s'close, gonna fill you up, fuck it deep into your cunt." He clenches around you, making you moan softly at the feeling. "You like that? Wanna be bred? Want my cum deep inside you, have my babies?" He moans as his dick twitches slightly. "Fuck, gonna cum, fill you full, Shit~" You cum with a moan, groaning a moment later as you thrust into him deeply, barely moving your hips as he moans at the feeling of your warm seed fills him up.
"Don't...Don't pull out..." You chuckle tiredly, collapsing onto him with your face in his neck. "U-Unless you c-can carry me t-to m-my room, we're laying here." You gently let his legs go, moving your own legs in order to sit up and take him with you. He yelps in shock as your dick shifts but still stays inside him.
"Think you can lean back and grab your pants?" "No, I sleep naked." "Okay then." You grab his thighs and stand up, he wraps his arms around your neck, burying his face in the side of your neck and leaving small kisses before he nuzzles his nose into your neck, cuddling into your arms.
"Do you have a plug?" "I'm hugging it." He mutters and you physically have to stop and laugh. "That's not...Really?" He giggles as you enter his room, closing the door behind you then moving to sit on his bed. "No, hold on." He detaches himself from you and leans to his right slightly to the drawer of his nightstand and pulls out a plug.
"Want me to put it in?" "Obviously." You take the object from him and he places his hand on your shoulder as yours move to his ass, squeezing the soft skin and spread him before lifting him up, you slip out of him with a slight squelch noise then replace yourself with the toy. "Fuck..." "You okay?" He whines, shifting on your lap as your hands stay on his ass. "S'empty..." You chuckle, kissing his temple. "I'll get you a bigger toy so you'll always be full."
He pulls back, meeting your eyes. "Really? Y-You don't h-have to, I-I was just saying that stuff to...get off." "Were you really? I was serious, going to take you out tomorrow and spoil the hell out of you. Sounded like you were serious too, remember? Can't let a good guy and dick like me go." "I-I did...Shit..."
"Do you want to be something with me?" "I do. You're so much better than everyone else." "Then from now on you're my baby, my sweet baby boy, okay?" He nods shyly, leaning forward to hide his blushing face in your neck. "I'm your baby boy, Hyung. I..." He hesitates and you kiss his shoulder. "I love you, baby." He whines, tightening his hold around your neck. "Mmm...I love you too, Hyung."
Taking him with you, you lay down under his covers before covering you both up, he snuggles under his blankets and closer to you, wrapping his arms around your middle as he tucks himself under your chin, nose nuzzling at your neck and taking in your scent as your arms wrap around his shoulders and hug him close.
"Good night, Channie Baby."
"Good night, Mn-Hyung."
212 notes · View notes
arvandus · 8 months ago
Text
Sick Day
Barbatos x GN!Reader
Warnings: None. Just fluff... pure self-indulgent fluff.
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NOTE: Minors and ageless blogs DNI or follow or you will be blocked! While this writing is SFW, my blog is NOT.
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Your DDD pinged and you peeked your head out of your warm covers to check the message with bleary, aching eyes.
Barbatos: I did not see you at RAD today.  Are you alright?
Warmth heated your cheeks and it wasn’t due to the fever.  Your fingers typed back your response.  I’m sick.
Barbatos: Oh dear, that is unfortunate.
You smiled and typed.   I’m surprised none of the brothers told you.
 You waited as you watched the ellipses appear.
Barbatos: I was only there briefly to gather paperwork.
There was a pause.  More ellipses appeared then vanished, and a moment later, reappeared again.
Barbatos: I shall bring you some tea and honey cakes.
You silently giggled to yourself and buried your face in your pillow before responding.  You don’t have to... besides, I don’t want to get you sick.
Barbatos: How easily you forget that we are different species. I highly doubt I’ll be susceptible to your cold, although I appreciate the concern.  But it does beg the question of how you got sick while being surrounded by demons...
You bit your lip for a moment and then typed.  Solomon and I went to the human world for brunch a few days ago...
Barbatos: ...I see.  Then he is the one to blame for this. I shall have a word with him after my visit.
You chuckled to yourself.  Go easy on him, Barb. It was both our idea.
Barbatos sent the winking demon emoji but nothing else.  You set our phone back down on your nightstand and once again buried beneath your covers as another fever chill washed over you, making your bones ache.
---
You must have fallen asleep because next thing you knew, you were being roused by a gentle hand on your shoulder.  The sudden presence of someone in your room made you jolt awake, only to be met by a pair of familiar green eyes framed in dark green hair.
“B-Barbatos...”
“Apologies, I didn’t mean to startle you...” he replied softly. He still held the tray of tea and cakes in his left hand, perfectly balanced, and he set it carefully down next to your bed.  You noticed two empty teacups and a lidded teapot with steam curling out of its spout.  “I had knocked, but you didn’t answer.”
A small smile tugged at your lips as you laid back down, the blanket tucked securely around your neck.  “Were you worried about me?”
His lips curled up slightly.  “Perhaps a little,” he confessed.
Then Barbatos looked at you, taking in your appearance with a slightly furrowed brow. “Hm...” he removed his white glove and placed the back of his hand to your forehead.
Your heart pounded at the sudden skin-to-skin contact, and you wondered if he noticed.  How good was a demon’s hearing anyway?
“You seem worse than I had anticipated...” he said.
He began preparing your tea for you, pulling out a small satchel of herbs from the inner pocket his RAD uniform.
“What’s that?” you asked.
“A personal remedy I put together,” he replied.  “It contains herbs from the human world that are meant to help with fever and aches.  Tulsi leaves, ginger, honeysuckle... just to name a few.”
You watched as he set the herbs into the strainer and placed it back into the teapot. You both waited as the concoction brewed.
“How did you find time to put this together?” you asked curiously.
“I prepared it before your first arrival to the Devildom. When I knew we would have human exchange students, I made it my duty to ensure we were well stocked with any possible needs in case of situations such as this.”
You smirked. “Always so prepared...”
“A fact that I am grateful for now.” His smile softened under the gentle weight of worry.  “Us demons do not like seeing you like this... it reminds us how fragile and mortal you are.”
Your chest felt tight and you placed your hand over Barbatos’s, your fingers squeezing his softly.  His cheeks flushed the slightest bit, his eyes widening at your blatant affection, and yet his own fingers reciprocated, curling around yours.
“I’m not dying, Barbatos... It’s just a cold,” you smiled.
He gave a soft chuckle. “I’m aware, but the discomfort remains just the same.  We sense time differently than you do... it feels slower, at least here in the Devildom, where change happens over thousands of years instead of decades.  We don’t always realize how quick and unforgiving it is, especially for humans.  We think there is enough time and yet there never is.”
He stared down at your hand, his thumb running across the knuckles of your fingers.  “Your species burns bright, but you also burn out much faster. It makes it difficult for us to love and even more difficult to let go when the time eventually comes.”
His confession left your heart heavy and your mind dizzy.  Tears stung your eyes.  “Barbatos...”
But before you could continue, he changed the topic.
“I believe your tea is ready...” he said with an artificial lightness.
He relinquished your hand and began preparing your cup. You watched quietly as he added honey and lemon.  When it was finished, he held it out to you.
You pushed yourself up and adjusted your position until you were sitting next to him on your bed, shoulder to shoulder.
“Thank you...”
You took the cup and sipped it. You hummed pleasantly at the warmth that followed down your throat.
“Is it to your liking?” he asked as he poured his own cup.
“Yes, thank you.”
He smiled, pleased with himself.  A mutual quiet fell over both of you as you both sipped at your teas and nibbled at your cakes.
When the cups were finally empty, the fatigue returned.  You leaned your head against Barbatos’s shoulder.
He looked down at you.  “Are you alright?” he asked softly.
“Mhm... just sleepy... “ you mumbled.  Then in jest you said, “did you slip anything else into that tea you made?”
Barbatos chuckled low in his chest.  His arm came around your shoulders in a partial embrace and he gently grazed his fingers on the curve of your shoulder. 
“I would never,” he replied.
More of your weight pressed against him as your body relaxed beneath his touch.  Slowly your head slid down into his lap, your hands pillowing beneath your cheek and against his thigh. He stiffened at first, but then breathed out a small gust of amused surrender as his hand began to pet you from the crown of your head to your arm in calming, soothing motions.
You closed your eyes.  “My muscles ache and my head is foggy,” you complained.
“You should rest,” he chided.
“I am resting...”
Barbatos chuckled. “I meant in your bed, beneath your blankets.”
“But you’re warm...”
“Your bed is also warm...”
“My bed doesn’t pet my hair.”
Barbatos laughed gently, deep and rich, and you couldn’t help but smile with your eyes still closed.
“Very well.  Let us make a truce.  You will lay beneath your covers and I will continue to pet your head.”
“Deal.”
Slowly you sat up and repositioned yourself until you were bundled snuggly.  Barbatos sucked in a quiet, calming breath to ease his nerves before he scooted next to you. He kept himself on top of the blankets, a crucial barrier between himself and you.  But you still did your best to snuggle into his side, your head tucked beneath his chin.  His hand continued its gentle treks across the parts of you that felt safest. Your body relaxed beneath his touch, and Barbatos closed his eyes as he inhaled the scent of your hair before releasing the air in a relaxing exhale.
While he didn’t like you being sick, he found this particular arrangement to be... quite nice... even if his heart was pounding wildly in his chest like he’d just run a marathon, every nerve of his body alive everywhere your body touched his.
“Barbatos...”
“Yes?”
“Your heart is beating really fast...” he could hear the teasing in your voice, wrapped up in beautiful delight.
You knew.
His own words echoed in his mind.  ‘We think there is enough time and there never is.’
‘Well...’ he thought, ‘no sense in denying it...’
“It’s because I want to kiss you,” he confessed quietly.
Your entire body tensed with bridled joy, and you couldn’t suppress the smile that spread across your lips as your cheek rested against his chest.  “I want you to kiss me too.”
Barbatos looked down at you, seeing nothing but the top of your head.
“Then look at me,” he said.
But even as he said it, it was his own fingers beneath your chin that tilted your face up to him.
Then he captured your lips gently with his, his hand cupping your cheek. Your skin still felt flushed, your breath hot with fever and laced with the scent of honey and tea.  But you hummed happily as he kissed you, and it was enough to reassure him, to make his chest warm with delight.
When your lips parted, he placed a soft kiss to your forehead.
“Now rest,” he chided, “so that you can heal and I can no longer worry over you.”
You nuzzled down into your bedding in acquiescence, pressed against him.
“Thank you for taking care of me,” you mumbled sleepily.
“Always,” he replied.
A minute of silence passed, and Barbatos was nearly certain than you’d fallen asleep when you suddenly spoke again.
“Barbatos...”
“...yes?”
“Can you stay until I fall asleep?”
His arm squeezed you gently and he placed an indulgent kiss to the crown of your head.
“Yes.”
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the-thing-of-worms · 17 days ago
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EVERYONE SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!!
Check this out this is the greatest entertainment in history
So, here's how it started:
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This anon sent me an ask telling me my good friend @annotated-catastrophe was homophobic and racist, and that I should block her. You can see how I responded, wanting proof. This is the next ask I get:
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These are some pretty bold claims you know! I asked for proof in DMs, and, excitingly enough, they came into my DMs with a burner account!!
I don't have many screenshots for this next parts, but me and @/redracecars start talking. They're still making a ton of really bold claims, saying Catastrophe is homophobic and "doesn't care about mental illnesses" but this really isn't enough to alter my opinion, kids, never believe someone you don't know just off of their word, even someone you do know shouldn't be trusted just off their word, that's why I asked dear redracecars to provide me evidence! A screenshot of a conversation, it's all I needed really, I even told them I would post the screenshot to show all my friends, and I'm sticking true to my word! I hope you see this from your main redracecar, I'm keeping my word.
Here's what they sent me after about 30 (?) minutes of waiting.
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Annotated Catastrophe, under the side blog "Blueracecars" (where have we heard that name before??? 🤔🤔🤔) sent a ton of messages to our poor Redracecars.
One issue though, these were sent TODAY October 24th, 2024. AND WAIT- GASP - THESE MESSAGES WERE SENT AFTER I RECIEVED THE SECOND OF THE TWO ASKS??? SAY WHAT?? HAS ANNOTATED CATASTROPHE FINALLY MASTERED TIME TRAVEL?? ARE WE DOOMED WITH THE DREADED ANNOTATED CATASTROPHE AS OUR IMMORTAL TIME LORD??
Oh, wait,
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Redracecars? Buddy? Did you not see that your messages with Blueracecars were timed to today, after when you first sent me an ask? Are you.... GASP??? A FAKER??? NO IT COULDNT BE!! REDRACECARS HOW COULD YOU!!! *Sobs and faints like a Victorian*
Hold on, hold on, let me see what blue race cars has on their blog, knowing Annotated catastrophe as I do she'll definitely have a lot of writing posts on this side blog... Huh... Wait
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THESE ARE THE ONLY TWO POSTS ON THE BLOG? ANNOTATED CATASTROPHE WOULD NEVER! AND WAIT- SHE'D NEVER TALK WITH CURSE WORDS, SHE HATES SWEARING!! Redracecars you didn't even do a good job of disguising yourself! This is awful buddy, real embarrassing too, it really is .... It really sucks though because I started to realize what you were doing, trying to make a transgender person believe that one of their friends is a terf, trying to convince me she's racist, homophobic, transphobic.... Buddy are YOU a transphobe?? You blocked me before I could ask this but, Why are you so dead set on convincing me, a trans man, that my friend secretly hates me?? That's incredibly mean of you. The only thing in your heart, redracecars (or should I say purpleracecars since your red AND blue?) is malice. You only want to make people unhappy, is it because you're unhappy buddy? I'm sorry if that's the case but leave other people out of it, go touch grass, or better yet, go talk to a therapist about whatever you got going on. Your behavior IS NOT NORMAL!!!
And rest assured I'm sending this to my mutuals so they all know that there's some troll running about and trying to hurt people, because that's what you're doing, you're hurting people and I just KNOW you live for it. Go get a better life bro.
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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 2 years ago
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K's Master List
Hello there! I'm K and welcome to my side blog!
Minors please do not interact with my blog. I will block you. Blank blogs and ageless blogs have the same protocol. It's nothing personal, just trying to protect myself.
I do not do requests. It has nothing to do with you lovely people. I did requests for a previous fandom I was in and because I'm a natural people pleaser, it just became an unhealthy cycle. So, now I only write what I feel like writing.
Please do not copy or repost (i.e. copy and paste elsewhere - reblogging is a different thing and greatly appreciated) my work. This is the only place that I publish these works.
I don't do a tag list for all works since this side blog is exclusively dedicated to publishing and reblogging my own Top Gun content and an occasional announcement.
I do tag lists for ongoing stories/series. Simply reply to or reblog the work/series and say that you want to be tagged
To be tagged, you must have a reference to your age in your bio. No exceptions. It's nothing personal, but because this blog is 18+ Only, I'd look like a dumbass hypocrite if I tagged ageless blogs. Help me help you and put your age in your bio/pinned post.
Thank you for visiting and I hope you enjoy my works! My actual Master List is below the cut.
Works are separated by character. Characters with more than five posts have a separate master list. Major content warnings (i.e. pregnancy, death, etc.) are provided but please check each work for more specific warnings.
If you see a [*] symbol, it just means that work is more suggestive.
If a work is listed with "OC | Reader," the 'Reader' is biologically related to an established character (i.e. Maverick's daughter).
OC characters might have an established race/appearance, so check the summary/warnings of that work first.
Top Gun
Nick "Goose" Bradshaw
See Separate Master List
Pete "Maverick" Mitchell
Handyman - Fem!Reader (Wife!Reader)
Summary: When it comes time to give your newborn daughter a bath in the kitchen sink, it conveniently breaks. Fortunately or unfortunately, Maverick is a handyman.
Top Gun: Maverick
Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw
See Separate Master List
Jake "Hangman" Seresin
See Separate Master List
Javy "Coyote" Machado
A Walk Down Memory Lane - Bradshaw!Fem! OC | Reader
Summary: Rooster and Tweety Bradshaw look through their mom’s belongings as Tweety’s wedding to Coyote approaches.
Mickey "Fanboy" Garcia
Come Here - AFAB!Reader
Summary: You have your period. Fanboy takes care of you.
Family Man - GN!Spouse!Reader
Summary: After a long day at work, Fanboy returns home to complete his most important job: taking care of his family.
Robert "Bob" Floyd
See Separate Master List
Beau "Cyclone" Simpson
The Admirals Strike Back - Wife!Reader (Mitchell!Reader)
CW: Consensual and Very Much Legal Age-Gap Relationship (About 15 years); Non-Traditional Father-Daughter Relationship (Between Maverick and Reader)
Summary: Maverick knew that his somewhat estranged daughter was married. He just didn't know who she married.
Natasha "Phoenix" Trace
Bleeding Hearts - Male!Bradshaw!Twin!OC (Braedon)
CW: Hospitals; Exes; Unresolved Feelings; Best Friend's Brother
Summary: After the bird strike, Phoenix's ex, who just so happens to be Rooster's twin brother, comes to check up on her.
Daggers (All 7)
THE FAMILY AFFAIRS COLLECTION >
Mav's Reaction to Each of the Daggers Dating His Daughter - Mitchell!Fem! OC | Reader
Summary: Maverick finds out that his daughter is dating someone that he knows when she invites her new partner to dinner. And so he makes it his mission to greet them at the door first.
The Daggers and Their (Secret) Kids
CW: Pregnancy, see warnings for additional specific CWs by Dagger (include Reference Character Death, Strained Relationships, Divorce, etc.)
Summary: Headcanons about the families that the seven Daggers could have had going into TGM with, since there's nothing about their families mentioned in the movie.
The Love Game - Fem!Reader (Glitch)
CW: Unrequited Love; Angst; Emotional Angst; One-Sided Relationship; ‘He’s in Love with Someone Else’ Trope
Summary: Glitch has been in love with Hangman for years but he’s getting married to another woman.
A.N. Multiple Pairings: Hangman/Glitch; Hangman/Fem!OC; Glitch /Mystery Dagger
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lovecuprite · 17 days ago
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Caps on for this post so its easier to read because I'm serious today + screenshots/message included + if you plan on commenting, read the whole thing
I wasn't going to make this post but I actually decided it would be good because sometimes people need to take accountability and also so it doesn't happen to others. if you cba to read it, i've highlighted the key points
I'm sure you'll see this, in which case, I messaged you and I thought we could stop what you were doing civilly, but instead you continued to spam my inbox. And since I knew it was you, I blocked you anyway, but it's all good because you blocked me right after you realised I knew. You said I dragged your name through the mud and I didn't, I referred to you as 'x' and didn't even say anything, but in this post, I am going to name you as clitfilms directly. (if you message me to own up to it and apologise, i will honestly take this down)
I am not commenting on the role she did/didn't play in her own drama, this is merely about her bringing people into it that aren't involved and creating more drama herself by lying and spamming my inbox.
So, as some of you may know, recently I had someone in my inbox tell me that people were talking about me in discord servers and saying I was clitfilms. (see ask here) and then i defended myself here
This anon refused to give proof when I asked, just said that what they (let's call them a and b because i don't want to name them) did to clitfilms should be enough.
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(black image next to it is just so it displays better on the phone)
But that's no proof at all. If you know someone's said something, you should have screenshots and yet you had none, so I already doubted this anon. On top of that, I messaged a and b and cleared it up with them myself, but as I said, the no proof was the main doubter here for me.
I then began to suspect that the anon was clitfilms, maybe she wanted an ally and thought if I was attacked in the same way, I'd side with her. I had no proof of this, aside from this timing coincidence.
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A little weird that clitfilms posts exactly when I get these 3 anon messages, but maybe a coincidence. So I just think it to myself but I won't accuse her of it, right?
Okay moving on, I turned anon off because it was annoying but then after I cleared the 'talking about me' stuff up with a and b a few days later, I put it back on.
Then, 23rd of Oct I get this ask:
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(click the image on the right to see the full image, showing battery/time etc. to show that timing wise, the post and ask were sent literally a minute apart)
I didn't know her name was Naya because I've only checked her blog to clear up rumours in that one post and didn't stop to get her name, but since her drama keeps popping up in my inbox, I decided to check her page after getting this ask.
There, I discovered that her name is Naya and on top of that, someone had sent her this post. Which means in the 1/2 minutes that post of hers was up, someone managed to see it, check my post/read hers, then comprehend it and then send that anon message.
Now maybe someone has crazy super speed reading and absorbed it all in 2 seconds to then send me that anon message but to me it seems like she had already copied and pasted a message ready for my inbox that she sent as soon as she posted.
& that was so suspicious to me and exactly when I felt I wasn't crazy to think it was her the first time.
After this, I was tired of getting these asks and honestly was just waiting for more to come in, they were spread out a little so it seemed like they were different people' (ha, how wrong that was) but I wanted it to stop.
In my mind, there's two ways to stop this, make a post saying 'clitfilms leave my inbox', or send her a message. So I decide to unblock her and message.
I'm not going to blast someone's name if I can solve it with them privately, regardless of if what she's doing is shady & downright hypocritical based on what she seems to be posting about. (Just something I don't want to do unless I absolutely have to)
And for me personally, spreading my name around in people's inboxes, acting like different people in my own inbox to convince me of your lies and then spamming me? I can't just ignore that.
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I don't know if my message comes across as mad, but I was, so I don't really care. Getting constant anons for no reason is so annoying, especially when you know who it is.
Now in this message, I addressed the anon claims directly (no point beating around the bush when I know clitfilms typed them to me) Which is where my points 1/2 came from.
So now she knows that I know for certain it's her.
5 minutes later, another ask comes in and then later after that, another one:
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The one asking for 'proof that I know it's clitfilms’ comes 5 minutes after I message her basically saying I know it's you.
At this point, I'm certain it's her but hey maybe that's a coincidence too and the anon was instead referencing that ask from earlier. again though, the timing is crazy coincidental.
I don't know how many times anon asks can match up with clitfilms posts/interactions on several different days over several different weeks and it not be her. There are only so many coincidences that you can brush off.
I didn't screenshot every single ask, especially not the original copy/paste ones that I think many people got because I didn't know I'd make this post and after blocking sender, they're gone now.
But, I know I got an ask defending her on the 7th oct, again don't know what time but she was posting about the drama on that day.
And also, I was tagged on a post with one of a / b and on the same day, that was when she was first mentioned in my inbox.
Which now kinda feels like, she didn't know who I was, saw that post, realised I might be mutuals with a/b and quickly messaged me to say they were bullies to prevent them from 'manipulating more people to turn against her'.
Saying that, I have never ever gotten a single bad ask about clitfilms. Every ask was defending her like that was their life's goal.
And linked to that, this ask from earlier came through on Oct 19th around 3/4am bst. One of a/b got a message in their inbox too, saying I was clitfilms (again, sorted now) & I didn't want to message them again because we don't know each other, but I wonder if they got that ask around the same time I got mine. That one I don't know because I haven't asked, but just a thought, wouldn't be surprised considering everything else adds up.
^^ since this little paragraph, i don't have exacts to prove it, you can ignore
Anyway, I'm going off topic.
Then finally, I had made this post, which I then reblogged. Which states that when I pressed 'block sender' on one of those anon asks, they all disappeared too.
So every single one of those anons was the same fucking person and at this point, like come on. Does she have some crazy fan that has singlehandedly been defending her honour in my inbox consistently over several days? Like how am I supposed to not think it's her?
Additionally, I feel like she'd be quick to say she's being 'framed', but in one of the earlier examples, where she was online at the same time as anon, the anon ask i got was a few minutes prior to her post. and how would they know she'd be online in a few minutes, to then decide to send me an ask?? They'd have to be some crazy mind reader that predicts when she posts, to perfectly time an ask to frame her.
That connected with everything else just makes it so blatant.
And so if I've messaged you and then you continue spamming me, you're a lost cause, there's no getting around it other than blocking you again.
So I reblogged that post ^^ (because I was honestly laughing at how crazy someone has to be to go to those lengths, on tumblr of all places), blocked her and in the same second, she blocked me too.
So you're not in my inbox, but you ignore my message, your chance to defend yourself and then block me after refreshing my page and seeing me confirm again that I know it's the same person sending those asks...hm okay.
Personally, if it were me, I'd want to defend myself if I was innocent. And I gave you that chance to have a conversation privately.
But instead, you block me, someone who's profile i'm sure you'll say you've never seen, on 0 grounds, other than the fact that I think you're harassing me, makes you look even more guilty. But hey, maybe it's just me.
In my opinion, with all of that, it's so painfully obvious that it was clitfilms constantly doing this to me, but take it however you want.
I just can't stand to see people doing stuff like this and then trying to act like it's not them. Take some accountability like damn girl.
On that post of hers (with my post linked), after her rant, she tags it with this, yet she's the one in my inbox.
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If she can lie and do that to me, what else can she do? Which is why I feel the need to say something, before clitfilms does it again to someone else.
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and-claudia · 1 year ago
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Against All Odds (Joel Miller x fem! reader)
wordcount: 2363
warnings: death, blood, cannon typical violence
General Warnings for later on: The main story will have an age gap between Joel and the reader (Reader will be 25 once we get to the main storyline), this will also be your warning that it will eventually be an x pregnant reader (if that's not your jam, I'm sorry) there is also going to be more graphic/trigger parts later on so please always to be sure to read the warnings BEFORE reading. This story will also be 18+ and TO BE ON THE TAGLIST YOU CAN NOT BE AN AGELESS BLOG (i do actually check that) also there first hand full of parts are all prologue so Joel won't actually be in it for a bit
Taglist Sign-Up (read my rules carefully before filling it out)
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Ten years. Ten long years in Boston. I couldn’t even tell you what it was like living anywhere else. These ten years felt like twenty and everything before getting here just seemed to melt together. The only thing I could remember was losing everyone. From Ma, Alan, Roy, and Marc on the first night of the outbreak. To Chris in Knoxville. 
By the time they made it to Boston, only Zeak, Scott, Pa, and I were left. How had this happened? It wasn’t even the fucking cordyceps that took most of them, only Ma. And now, it was only Pa and I in our little apartment. 
Zeak got caught up in some illegal shit. Something about dealing pills to someone. He missed a deadline on a payment. I was told they shoved him off one of the buildings. That story spread like wildfire. Even now, 6 years later you can still hear whispers about the poor country boy who got too big for his britches. 
Scott died about a year ago. Our block was notorious for fireflies breaking out in gunfights. Scott got caught in the crossfire. I found him, shot full of bullet holes in the alley by our building. He was only a few feet from the door. He had almost made it. I held him as he bled to death in my lap, knowing there was nothing I could do. Even after his hand that was grasping mine went limp, I held on. He was all I had. Pa still resented me for what happened to Chris, even with his memory failing him, he remembered that much. The nightly patrol found us and took his body from me and escorted me upstairs. 
When I got there, his blood was still all over me. 
“Where the hell have you been, girl?” 
“You’re not wonderin’ where Scott is?” I asked. 
“He’s a man he knows how to handle himself just fine.” 
“Really? You wanna know whose blood this is?” I snapped. 
He stayed silent. 
“It’s Scotts. You hear those gunshots earlier? Yeah, those landed themselves in your son. He bled to death out in the alleyway. He’s gone! He’s dead! Just like everyone else! You happy, Pa? Huh? You gonna blame me for this one too?” 
I did wait for him to answer. I stormed out of the small living room and went into the bedroom.
After that, Pa and I hardly talked. His memory got worse. I swear there towards the end he couldn’t remember why he hated me just that he did and that was that. But we were all each other had left. So when he died, it still hurt. I was now alone.
But life goes on. I found him in his bed yesterday morning. I knew he’d be getting tossed in the burn pit today. Just my luck that is where I was stationed to work. I got up, got dressed, and headed out.
I said hi to the regulars I saw along my route. Despite the events of yesterday, I went on with a smile. No need to make my problems anyone else’s or make anyone feel my sorrow with me. A few of them offered me their sympathy, which I took gratefully. 
I checked in at the workstation and then went to my assigned area. As I scanned the area I didn’t see anyone I recognized. Sometimes that was nice other times it was nice to have someone to talk to, it helped pass the time. 
Work went by uneventfully until I saw him.
 "Careful with that one!" The words left my mouth before I realized it. 
The man that was about to pull my father's corpse out of the truck gave me a weird look. 
"Sorry." I said quickly. 
"You know him?" He asked. I couldn’t tell if his tone was sympathetic or just annoyed. 
"My dad." I said, stepping over to help him. 
He gave a small nod, “Give me a hand then.” 
We hauled him over and tossed him into the pit. I took a deep breath to keep the tears at bay. 
"Don't cry. Not here." The man mumbled, patting my arm roughly and I nodded. 
We continued to work in silence after that. Until we were leaving at least, then I spoke up again. 
"Hey, I don't see you around often. Do you jump jobs or something?" I asked. 
He nodded, "I go for whatever's paying the most at the moment." 
"Well, what's paying right now?" I asked. 
"Why would I tell you?" 
"Look man, we just tossed my father into the pit. I'm kinda on my own now. I need money." I reasoned. 
He sighed and I could tell he was thinking it over. 
"Come on." He nodded for me to follow. 
It definitely wasn’t going to be the funnest job, none of them were, but money is money. 
"Thank you..." 
"Joel." 
"Yn. It's nice to meet you." I said holding out my hand for him. 
He nodded and shook it. Then we went our separate ways.
The next morning I found him fairly quickly as we headed in for our shift. 
"Good morning," I said quite cheerfully. 
He side-eyed me, clearly not happy to be up so early. 
"Why are you in such a good mood?" He huffed. 
"I woke up this morning." 
"And...?" 
"That's it. I'm alive to see another day." I explained.
"You're optimistic." He gruffed. 
I smiled at him, as I opened the lid on my thermos. I took a drink and nearly gagged before holding it over to him. 
“What is that?” 
“Why don’t you tell me.” I nodded to it to signal him to take a whiff. 
His eyes went wide when he smelt what it was. 
“Have some.” 
He hesitated before taking the thermos and taking a drink of it. I watched with a small smile as the coffee visibly woke him up more. 
‘That’s so good shit right there.” 
“My old man had a stash of it that I was never allowed to touch… I hate it. The rest of what I have is yours if you want it.” I offered. 
“What do you want for it?” He asked, clearly skeptical of my offer. 
“Nothin’.” I shrugged. 
“That’s a lie. Everyone here wants something for something. Nothing is free. So what do you want for it? I willin’ to bet I can get my hands on it.” He said. 
“Damn, you’re determined to get some coffee, aren’t you? How about a friend?” I asked. To be honest despite his rough exterior and not knowing him long I was warming up to him. I didn’t really have friends so why not. 
“What?” 
“Look, I don’t really have anyone anymore, so yeah, a friend would be nice right now.” 
His face softened and he held out his hand for me to shake, “Deal.” he said with a small smile. 
I smiled back at him as I took his hand and shook it. 
Our friendship grew from that day on. We worked nearly every day together. And even spent our days off together. One afternoon we were sitting on the roof of my apartment building having lunch when he asked me where I was from. 
“Texas.” I replied. 
“No, shit, me too.” He said with a small smile. 
“I feel like now would be the time where I am supposed to ask what part of Texas but, I honestly wouldn’t know the difference,” I admitted. 
“It’s okay, what part were you from?” 
“Canton.” 
“Oh, I know that place, cute little town.” He commented. 
Things were great, then I met Tess. She didn't like me much and didn’t seem too keen on my joining them outside of the city but Joel eventually convinced her. 
Then about a year after we met things went south for me. My block was taken over by the FireFlies. I got caught in the crossfire. I collected what I could of my belongings, which wasn't much, to begin with. I made it out with a shot to my shoulder. It hurt like bitch but I kept going I made it to Joel's and pounded on his door to be let in. 
He threw it open and his face dropped when he saw the blood seeping through my top. 
"What the hell?" He pulled me into his apartment. 
"Fire Flies." I answered. 
"Gunshot?" 
I nodded and all but collapsed into the chair at the table.
"Hey, stay awake." He said to me before calling for Tess. 
"Why'd the kid bleeding?" She said, almost annoyed. 
"I'm not kid." I shot back. 
"Cut it out you two! Get the tweezers." He said to her, she sighed and grabbed them, getting ready to help me.
Joel began reaching for the hem of my top. 
"I gotta take this off, okay?" He asked gently. 
"Buy me dinner first." I joked, not really thinking about the consequences of my words, but we flirted all the time so it shouldn’t be an issue. 
He laughed a little and slowly and carefully took it off. I hissed in pain. 
"Sorry." He mumbled.
"Where?" Tess asked large tweezers in her hand. 
"Back of shoulder." I said leaning forward.
She went to work and the moment I felt the cool metal touch the raw flesh I flinched. 
"Damnit, stay still, kid!" She reprimanded me. 
"Sorry, hurts." My eyes watered. 
She went in again and I flinched. 
"Okay, Yn, imma hold you down, okay?" Joel asked. 
I nodded lazily. 
"Keep your eyes open." He said, holding me down to the table. 
I felt the cold metal touch my skin once again but didn't flinch this time. 
"Fuck!" I gasped in a breath of air as I felt her pinch the raw flesh of my wound instead of the bullet. 
"That's not the bullet you fucker, that's me!" I said through gritted teeth. 
"Joel, it's wedged in there..." Tess said quietly. 
"Just cut it out. I few extra stitches is better than dying of infection." I said reaching for my knife in my pocket. 
I got it and tossed it on the table. Joel quickly grabbed it and poured some alcohol on it to disinfect as best he could. 
"Can I hold your hand?" I asked, holding out my good arm.
He nodded and slid his hand into mine. I squeezed the hell out of it as I felt the blade cut into my shoulder. 
"Breathe, Yn. You gotta breathe through it." Joel said, taking deep breaths to get me to mime him. 
Focusing on him helped and soon enough it was all over and I was stitched up. 
"There you go kid." Tess said, patting my other shoulder. 
"M'not kid." I slurred as I leaned more into the table. 
"Here go lay down on my bed, you'll be more comfortable." He said, helping me stand.
I stumbled but he was quick to catch me, "Can I borrow a shirt? I got blood on mine." 
He laughed a little, "Yeah I'll get you one in a minute." 
Once he got me into a new shirt and laying down he sat beside me on the bed. 
"Sorry bout the floor. I'll clean it later." 
"Don't worry bout that. Just rest." He said, giving me one last look over before standing to leave. 
“Wait…” I called out and he stopped. 
“Will you stay with me?” I asked quietly. 
Joel stayed silent for a moment, “I’ll be right back.” 
He left and I could hear muffled voices through the walls but couldn’t make out what was being said. Then I heard the door slam and a few moments later Joel walked in. I gave him a confused look. 
“What happened?” 
He shook his head, “Tess left. It’s okay. Get some rest.” 
“You too, come on.” I used my good arm to lift the blanket up beside me. 
I could tell he thought about it for a moment. But a moment later he was shedding his boots and crawling into the bed beside me. From that night on we shared a bed. Our relationship grew more and more and although we never officially defined it, we understood that we had something together. 
A little over a year after that night was my first time leaving the QZ. I was very nervous but Joel assured me everything would be okay and that he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. It was the night before we were supposed to leave. Joel and I were laying in bed together and I couldn’t settle down. 
“Be still.” He mumbled. 
“Sorry.” I tried not to sniffle but failed. 
He pushed himself to sit up and turned on the small lamp beside him, “What’s wrong?” 
I bit my lip trying not to break down, I was embarrassed by how scared I was to leave the QZ. Part of me was still very insecure that I was so much younger than he was. I never wanted him to think that I was immature. I sat up with him and pulled my knees to my chest. 
“I don’t know if I should go tomorrow…” I whispered. 
“Why not? Did Tess say somethin’ to you? Because she’s just trying to get in your head. We’ve never taken anyone out with us before. It’s more risky, but I promise you’ll be fine.” 
“How do you know?!” I snapped at him, “How do you know?” I repeated much quieter as the tears began to fall as the memories of being attacked by an infected all those years ago resurfaced. 
Joel pulled me to sit between his legs as he held me tight. 
“What happened, sweetheart?” He asked gently. 
“On our trip here from Knoxville, we were less than 5 miles away from the QZ, I got attacked…” I continued to tell the story of what happened that day and how Scott had helped me. 
“Sweetheart, I promise, nothing is going to happen to you tomorrow.” He said gently, pressing a kiss to my temple. 
He continued to hold me before I began falling asleep in his arms. Then he carefully laid us back down but continued to hold me close as we both drifted off to sleep.
I had to fix the taglist, if you're tag is not working please let me know.
@sexyvixen7
@joelmillerslays
@elliaze
@strawbab
@little-lovely-darling
@swimmjacket
@watercolorskyy
@mserynlarsen
@sebby-staan
@beelanie
@fan-g0rl
@paige96
@pedropascalfanclub
@ameliadraws
@mavs101
@azerty29
@rileyferg
@belliedellie
@rhaenyrasgf
@imcreepininyourheartbabe
@nani-kenobi
@lunas-sstuff
@holb32
@reidsgubbler
@cleocat246
@novamidoriya
@katmae1997
@dizzywinterdaydream
@mrswidowjohansson
@abzidabzy
@givemeth
@morgaussy
@summerchicken
@kelh27
@ayamenimthiriel
@letmehavemyfictionalmen
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ghoulphile · 6 months ago
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to the recent anon about blocking a certain account:
hey there, i'm going to assume this was asked in good faith so i'll respond in good faith.
i had an incident over the weekend with another blog that was interacting with my fics - and myself personally via dm - who i suspected of being a minor. they answered an ask about their age on their blog and gave a range of 17-21.
this made me uncomfortable and i blocked them but not before they had a chance to reach out. i stated that i'm not angry or upset but that i do not interact with minors or let minors knowingly engage with my fics. they said it was a typo and that they were actually 18-21.
while i appreciated the explanation it still made me extremely uncomfortable, and i chose to err on the side of caution, which i told them so. they did not take this well and some things were said. i'm not into entertaining drama so i wished them well, and blocked them.
and now over the last few days, i have had new accounts that have very similar usernames/names to theirs, and very very similar aesthetics, follow me/try to engage with me/send me asks.
one even sent in an ask about blogs complaining that i've blocked them... when the only blogs i blocked are theirs. at the time of checking, they made no such posts so i can only assume it was someone who knows them, or it was themselves trying to reach out.
another commented on my post asking for clarification about my 18+ rule immediately after i received that ask, and said they were 17 but they'll be 18 in a few months and have been reading smut for a long time. they were also blocked, as was their main blog.
now the blog you are asking about has far too many similarities for my comfort, and so they were blocked as i cannot be sure they are not a minor.
it's not meant in ill will, but as a means to protect myself. i'm sorry they're upset - it truly is nothing personal. while i know i can't stop every minor from engaging with my account and fics, if i become aware of them, then i will block as this is, has been, and always will be 18+ only.
this is the first, last, and only time i'm going to talk about this. i'm not into drama nor do i want any. i've been worried something like this would come up, and have taken the necessary steps and screenshots should it escalate as i've tried to handle this privately thus far.
please do not go bother them. i'm trying to do my best to keep their identity private, as well as what i suspect to be their other blogs. i only wish that if they are minors, and they are the same person, they can respect my wishes.
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batsplat · 8 days ago
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I’m not sure if this is something you’ve ever done so if your answer is “lol no” totally fine!! But I was wondering if you’d be willing to do a kind of race breakdown of Laguna seca ‘08? Or maybe just of the key moments? I watched it and a) fucking loved it. Truly incredible. 24 laps of these guys within a second of each other like HOW???? Can’t believe that actually happened this sport is so insane. But b) I think maybe I just don’t know enough abt motogp yet but I don’t understand why Casey was sooo angry with Vale after? I get the 4th lap corkscrew send was extremely dicey but like…the rest of it just looked like hard racing to me??? Am I missing something?? And Casey seemed to be racing him BACK just as hard? Even when Casey goes off & falls that wasn’t even really fully Valentino’s fault, I didn’t think? Like his overtake pushed Case a bit wide, BUT they’d just been trading overtakes back & forth, and also it looked like his original push wasn’t enough to make Casey go off but then Casey kind of made a mistake and wobbled a bit further into the gravel? Am I wrong?? What do I not understand yet lmaoooo help me batsplat you’re my only hope <3
yay laguna 2008 enjoyer <3 okay so, full disclosure, somebody sent me an ask about this... uh, quite a long time ago. and it's something I do want to do because a lot of my casey posts keep dancing around how I don't have a specific laguna post to refer back to. AND it's so key to the psychology of that rivalry that you do kinda need to go into the weeds with that race to really get their whole deal. AND it is a race I have extremely extensive notes on, in terms of the build up (which I've obviously already posted a lot of on this blog) and the aftermath, but also for the race itself. so this WILL be posted at some point, hopefully like. this year
the main stumbling blocks have been a) for lap by lap analysis, it makes sense to have a bunch of screenshots. which is finicky anyway, but even more so with tumblr's image limits. just takes time to do - and I've been busy enough these last couple months I've mostly been posting things I write up quite quickly. and b) that sense of... well, it's fine if I do it in my own notes where it's just for me, but if I'm posting analysis in public - even if about four people are reading it - I am deeply, deeply aware of the gaps of my knowledge in this sport. like, I've done my due diligence in that I have read as much reporting as possible about the race, listened to both versions of the commentary I have available on numerous occasions, etc etc. but I've only ever posted sports Analysis online for tennis. which is a sport I am actually an expert in, and feel entirely confident in my ability to analyse as well as anyone. tbh. and the contrast does make me painfully aware of my own limitations when it comes to analysing An Actual Race in motogp, like you can tell when someone doesn't know what tf they're talking about
which is particularly pertinent given that my read on this race does take a somewhat sceptical view of some of casey's assertions, based on all of the evidence I have at my disposal. and I am wary of that, because obviously he would know a lot better than me!! one problem is that casey does lean into rather vibes-based descriptions himself at times, which aren't particularly easy to fact check. like, he talks about being able to read other riders' body language on the bike and just never quite feeling on the same wavelength as valentino. which may well be true, but obviously I have absolutely zero way of assessing that
with laguna specifically, he's repeatedly said that while he DID have a problem with the corkscrew overtake, it was actually a lot of the other stuff that was bothering him too. as far as I understand it, a lot of it's about the lines valentino was taking - which is more about defending than the actual overtakes. I think the main actually identifiable culprits are... first of all. how valentino behaved down the main straight, with casey consistently getting a better run out of the last corner and the ducati straight line advantage giving him an edge in that bit of the track. after having been overtaken on the inside of turn 1 early on, valentino took care to hug the inside before running casey wide towards the outside edge of the track - making it so that any overtake into turn 1 would be quite dangerous. now, it's worth pointing out that an overtake into turn 1 is ALWAYS quite dangerous. the rider consensus on that turn (which is really more of a kink in the track before you get to the tricky turn 2 hairpin) is that it's more terrifying than the corkscrew - very fast and because of the elevation change, you're taking it completely blind where you quite literally cannot see the track ahead of you. one of the truly all time great overtakes in the sport actually comes in 2011, casey on jorge into turn 1 around the outside. it's something casey specifically is just crazy skilled at, to an extent where he's said that HE doesn't find it dangerous because he knows he can pull it off. but it is always a helpful reminder that laguna 2008 was very much an insane guy-off. valentino started it but casey DID respond, and repeatedly overtakes valentino at the most terrifying bit of the track. his perception of what is 'risky' or 'dangerous' is still not exactly in line with that of normal people
the other substantive critique is... well. casey hasn't quite gone all the way on this, but he certainly flirted with accusations of brake checking. which would obviously be quite a serious allegation and it's the one specific thing he said which valentino didn't take kindly to - most of the other stuff valentino just brushed off. again, casey's not gone all the way here.,, and this one also isn't easily verifiable for the layperson. you can definitely see that in the lap where casey crashes, valentino is taking some.......... uh. creative lines, like one of the corners after the corkscrew he does LEAP across the track to a comical extent. it is reasonable to believe that valentino was deliberately mixing up how early or late he was braking to unsettle casey, and something like that might have helped cause the crash. casey at this point was frustrated enough that he was really hugging valentino's back tyre, maybe even in order to try something before the main straight this time. when he almost runs into the back of valentino, he does have to adjust his line and is too hasty in trying to make up the ground again on valentino... which leads to the very slow tip off where he runs his bike from the shallow gravel into the deeper stuff. his mistake, yes, but did valentino contribute to it? and did valentino cross any lines in doing so?
the one thing casey has said where I do kinda call bullshit is him writing in his autobiography that some of the sketchier stuff wasn't shown by the tv cameras. maybe he doesn't feel like they provided the ideal angles, but for the duration of that battle casey and valentino are on screen like. a decent 80-90% of the time. I made a note of every time they switched away from them, and it really isn't a lot - certainly not for any overtakes minus that extremely annoying thing in lap four where casey is clearly sizing up a move into turn 1 and they randomly show hayden's back camera. neither myself nor the commentators were particularly thrilled about that, but it's casey's move and almost certainly the only actual overtake the cameras missed. casey says "a couple off moves off camera added to my frustration" which... this does feel like a bit of a sleight of hand tbh, like buddy you're going to have to provide a little more detail there on what exactly you think the cameras avoided showing. it's not like the tv direction is attempting to stitch him up here - they were eating this shit up and wanted to show every last second of it
in general, this is something that's true of a lot of casey's criticisms about this race: he's talked about it a lot, talked about how much it changed for him, but he does have a tendency to dance around actually making specific complaints. if you're being generous, you can say that he'd get a lot of shit for doing so. but, well, it's not like he's exactly holding back when criticising valentino a lot of the time. if you think he brake checked you, then just say that!! in one of his more valentino-esque traits, casey does have a tendency to heavily hint at a substantive accusation without QUITE spelling it out. it's the same trick he pulls with the suggestion that valentino blocked him from yamaha... which he obviously implies very heavily in his autobiography, but doesn't ever actually say outright. and it's a pretty neat trick in that it does allow certain talking points to get assimilated into popular narratives without setting them up to be fact checked. which is fascinating in its own right and a necessary corrective to the general narrative of casey as a forthright straight shooter who hasn't put a lot of thought into how to sell himself, but it's also a bit annoying if you're actually trying to assess 'the truth' of what happened. please, casey, enough talk about how you learned of the darkness in men's souls on that day... a little more detail, I beg
now fwiw, I do actually think casey is perfectly justified in complaining about valentino's riding. the main reason for this is that valentino himself has merrily confessed he was willing to do anything to stop casey from winning that race - which means that casey's belief valentino was ready to crash them both out was 100% correct. you can quibble about the specific moves, but at the end of the day valentino did obviously go into this race with the aim of intimidating casey. he could have injured both of them in order to prove a point, and I think that is something you can entirely reasonably take issue with. 10/10 for execution, good job on not actually crashing (even though a bit of his bike actually broke during the corkscrew overtake so it was completely lap of the gods stuff) - but that doesn't necessarily make valentino's approach morally defensible. casey's problem, of course, is that you have to say that it did WORK. if ever there was a single race that won someone a title, it's probably this one
which obviously just sucks for casey!! it plays into so many of his issues so perfectly that OF COURSE it's not something he's going to easily get over. and this is something that I do want to discuss in more depth in the actual laguna post, since it's definitely more my wheelhouse than analysing motorcycle overtakes - but my god was the psychology of this race horrendous from casey's pov. and you're flirting with quite a thin line where... I don't want to dismiss casey's interpretation, I think it's a reasonable stance to take, but also what's most fascinating to me is the emotional side of things. where it's less about completely rational assessment of whether xyz move should be allowed, and more about what casey felt - which is obviously also the arena valentino was interested in, more than actually winning the race. that's the selling point of this race: usually, you deploy tactics based on your understanding of your opponent's psychology to win the race you're actually in. valentino's primary goal was to get into casey's head and make him suffer. this was a long-term investment, right... and assessing exactly what it did to casey emotionally, why it felt so awful to him and how valentino achieved the desired effect - that's the really juicy stuff to dig into
there's also something else worth addressing here... part of the issue is that your perception of the racing is going to depend on what version of the sport you're most familiar with watching. a lot of the actual hard racing from laguna 2008 probably won't register as particularly out of order because there's also been a bit of a shift in riding standards in the intervening years. in 2011-12 the three competitive aliens kind of got away with dialling the aggression way, way, way down - just as a group taking a very conservative approach to what constituted an acceptable pass. 2013 reverses that trend, first and foremost because of marc joining the premier class. since then, the amount of aggression has generally crept upwards. there'll be several different reasons for that - rivals having to adjust to marc's level of aggression, the speculation that moto2 as a category was producing crazier rookies (this was a big talking point in 2017 with zarco, who valentino memorably had his issues with), and also technical changes. in the current formula of the sport, it's just a lot harder to overtake - and a lot of the previously common styles of overtaking also just wouldn't really be feasible nowadays. so you've got a lot of block passes, divebombs, shove it up the inside from a mile back (because that's as close as you can generally get to your competitor) and hope for the best... overtaking with contact has been completely normalised - something like pecco's first (?) cut back on marc in jerez this year would have been controversial in a different era, but now basically everyone just went 'good job yeah'
how you feel about this shift is always going to be a matter of personal opinion, and I'm definitely not completely in the laissez-faire camp on this myself - but it does undeniably mean you need a bit of extra context for what was considered 'hard' racing back then. and yes, obviously valentino himself is to some extent directly responsible for this shift. it's not like he never complained about other riders back then, he's always had a stance of 'fine if you can pull it off but don't be an idiot', but he definitely became more uncomfortable with some of the riding by his competitors over the years. which is ALSO a reasonable stance! riding aggressively by the standards of your time doesn't mean you have to take a complete carte blanche approach to all hard racing for evermore. it's their lives at stake, at the end of the day, so I do always feel like people should afford riders an open mind when they're giving their opinions on aggressive riding. even when their opinions vary rather dramatically. one moment that always sticks out to me in illustrating this shift over time is casey overtaking dani in motegi 2008 and gesturing back to apologise for pushing him wide. and......... I cannot stress enough to you how harmless that move looks to my eyes. it does not even register as hard racing to me, let alone something that would warrant an apology. things really have changed
then again, obviously you do have to remember that casey's complaints weren't exactly popular back then either. yes, you can chalk some of that down to favouritism towards valentino - but I've gone through quite a lot of forum posts too, and even the neutrals/casey fans really did love this race and took issue with casey's complaints. the commentariat certainly did - including sources I personally don't view as biased towards valentino over casey. everyone was super excited to HAVE a battle like that again. proper racing had become so rare in the 800cc era that this felt like a real throwback to the golden age... casey was never going to get much of a sympathetic hearing from a fanbase who had gone from the glory of the 2006 season to the dire tedium of 2007. it is casey's misfortune that he not only had an approach to racing that is less appealing to the casual fan, but also just happened to emerge as a frontrunner in a season everyone already kinda hated for non-casey reasons. almost everyone felt like he overreacted after the race and had conducted himself poorly both with valentino and in the media. that's why he apologised for what he'd said a few weeks later when they reconvened in brno, saying it had been a heat of the moment reaction (an explanation valentino readily accepted) - but obviously this is not an opinion casey earnestly held. the psychology of that apology is obviously fascinating in its own right, like that must feel like shit to have to do,,, but it is another bit of important context that gets forgotten about sometimes. it's not that casey's complaints are illegitimate - it's just ALSO likely that his stance has been made more radical by how truly awful the whole experience was for him, in ways that aren't just related to the literal riding. and at a certain point, he kind of needed to make sense of all of this, come up for a narrative for this race to help keep himself sane. if the world thinks you lost a race because you were a weaker person, perhaps you need to tell yourself you lost because you were a better one
all of which will be discussed in a lot more depth at a later juncture! even in this post I've deliberately kind of buried the lede in terms of where I'm at when it comes to the psychology of this race. this IS a race I obviously just have.... so so many thoughts about, always - which is why responding to this was so quick and easy lol, no consulting my notes required for any of it. at some point all of this will be written up with actual sources provided and lap-by-lap analysis. it's such a fantastic little case study for how sports psychology works, like I could write research papers on this thing. love the race, love them both, don't particularly want to side with either of them in their interpretation of this race but enjoy both sides and think they're both Valid. we'll never see the like again
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tauforged · 1 month ago
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anon, i won’t publish those - i respect your desire to curate your online experience and naturally you can do whatever you like. i think it’s rather unfair that you assign some calculated malicious intent to my actions thus far, as if i wanted any of this to happen the way that it did. to be frank, ive been in a panic trying to backpedal for damage control after i posted a bunch of shit w/o thinking clearly while in a really delicate and volatile mental state, something im not very good at reining in and have been trying to get better about because i recognize that i tend to panic and lash out when im triggered. it became obvious in hindsight that my going on and on about what upset me was starting to negatively affect those around me, so i stopped and deleted everything because i didn’t want to further trigger anyone, not to try and avoid accountability or whatever the fuck you think was happening. i genuinely dont remember most of what i posted because i was in such a state, but if it hadn’t been a sensitive topic i would have left it intact because i stand by my feelings on the matter. you have been reading intent into my actions that simply is not there, and it’s clear that my behavior struck a nerve and reminded you of something or someone else, and i really am sorry for that, truly. i don’t want to be the person you’re describing, and ive never outwardly tried to be.
i do also find it a bit frustrating that you accuse ME of trying to create a ‘surveillance state’ and yet you have been the one to continually come back and checked my blog time and time again to see what i’ve been up to after i have made absolutely no effort to directly engage with you further. i ahve no ill will towards you, im mostly just bummed out that things happened the way that they did, but as someone who really struggles with paranoia and Has been cyberstalked before, i cannot deny that Your behavior has been equally upsetting to Me, to a point where i feel that i can’t even vent about my mental state on my personal blog without having to worry that my words will be taken out of context and misconstrued to be about something or someone they aren’t.
i respect your decisions to want to avoid me, and i honestly feel the same at this point — all i ask is that we genuinely leave this alone and stop coming back to it. i have made no further effort to contact or check up on you once since that first interaction, and yet you keep coming back and backreading thru my blog to react to it as if everything has been directed towards you. it’s not. i quite frankly have a lot more shit going on in my life outside of losing a mutual over a misunderstanding, shit that i have no intention of going into detail about because it is so insanely wildly personal, but to put into perspective, i did not have time to respond to that first ask you sent and explain myself before you blocked me because i had just gotten home from scattering my great aunts fucking ashes. i’m sure this is evidence of me guilt tripping or whatever, since im some sinister manipulative mastermind and not a human being with my own life and bullshit going on at the other end of the screen.
…that was a bit mean, but i’m leaving it in because i’m not really in the mood to hide my frustration with you anymore. i want. to be left. alone. you told me you wanted no further contact with me — i respect that! i get it! i’ve been doing my absolute fucking best to swallow my feelings and move on, i haven’t once even attempted to see what you’ve been up to, i truly don’t care. so why do YOU keep coming back?
i’m not changing your mind with any of this, and i’m okay with that. frankly, i don’t want anything more to do with you. i just want you to consider that your actions are more than capable of hurting people in the future, before someone else touches the same nerve and gets dragged into the same pointless slap fight with you. it’s very clear that you think i’m in the wrong here - again, that’s fine, i don’t blame you - and have been looking for further proof that i’m the villain here to make yourself feel better about reacting harshly. frankly, i don’t want to be responsible for your feelings. if i was the one who kept coming back to you and starting it up again, you would (rightfully) think i was a fucking lunatic. i don’t think you’re TRYING to hurt me, i truly do understand where you’re coming from here, but you have hurt me nonetheless and i need you to stop.
all i ask at this point is that nobody talk about me behind my back or make bizarre claims about my mental health. if that isn’t you, then i truly have no quarrel with you. i’m respecting your desire to be left alone - please respect mine. it’s done. please just stop. this whole thing has taken a tremendous toll on my mental health, and i have more important things to be working on than constantly being retriggered by tumblr drama on top of it all. i am begging you at this point to drop it so that i can move on the way i’ve been so desperately trying to.
i hope you can move on and have a great rest of your day, and i truly honestly do mean that. i have no ill will towards you, though ive been told by friends that i am being far too lenient here. i did not want it to happen the way it did, but it’s done now. please just leave it alone.
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