#Like please tell me how youre curating your online experience
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sege-h · 1 year ago
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The kids are not only not alright but theyre just downright stupid rn
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san-marzano · 2 months ago
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i need to say something about your art. please dont draw any more fragmem. honestly, it just makes me feel really sick to see it pop up on my fyp. like, i know you might not get it, but it really bothers me. its not about being mean or anything, its just how i feel. i get that art is personal and all, but i cant handle it right now. its like, i want to support you, but this just isnt working for me. so yeah, if you could just keep that stuff off my feed, id really appreciate it. its making things harder for me than they need to be
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you look stupid telling me what to not draw instead of curating ur online experience on ur own. this is my space gtfo
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hetaherr · 1 year ago
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playing video games with them | anemo boys <3
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: kazuha, xiao, venti, wanderer
:mostly crack, a little suggestive but no warnings
well anyway this is another reupload!! added kuni’s part also got lazy to proof read its just a headcanon anyway!!! i play wayy to much video games and id love to share my hobbies with these sweet babies <3
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kazuha
i think this baby is a really chill gamer, he enjoys the cozy aspect of video games. thats why i think games like minecraft, stardew valley, animal crossing and the sims!! cozy video game dates are a norm for you guys when its too hot outside or too rainy.
imagine playing stardew valley with him, curled up under the covers with your MATCHING SWITCH CONSOLES. you guys working through the first few years of the game as little farm people doing little farm things. he’d even find some helpful guides online so you guys can maximise your finances in the game. honestly i can see how he gets a little petty at the fact that you MARRIED some npc in the game and he had to watch the whole cutscene while you joked around that he hadn’t given you enough attention and this was all his fault. now kazuha hates that particular npc, and he’s definitely pouting the whole night. give him lots of smooches, tell him that no video game code can replace your pookie wookie baby boy <3
but there, of course are other ways you can make up for it, like asking him to marry you- in animal crossing duh!! he’d take this whole thing very seriously obviously, its a wedding silly. he’d prepare a little wedding venue in his world by the beach, even going as far to design a cute little tux. it’s adorable, also don’t think for a second that he wouldn’t give you a kiss (giggling after) when the wedding officiant says you may now kiss. i also can picture kazuha buying you a promise ring irl , with a maple leaf engraved onto it. yes it was a animal crossing wedding, but it was YOUR WEDDING non the less.
another thing i can imagine is while you were playing the sims kazuha would 100% ask to create a little family with you. he’d even help to go “shopping” online for CC that would fit your characters or homes. kazuha DIES A LITTLE inside as you carefully curate each of the characters, spending hours deciding on the perfect outfits, hairs and personalities. coming up with mini fantasy stories about the mini yous and giggling along with him when they get a little too absurd. your cute family consists of you, kazuha and a little white cat. kazuha likes watching you get a little flustered whenever his character flirts with yours, sending a romantic haiku your way. not to mention the first time your character’s woohoo’ed he teasingly said:
“its honestly a shame that they’re the only ones that get to woohoo you know?”
anyway kazuha is 100% down to try as many games as he can with you, playing games with him is 10 bells out of 10 bells hehe
xiao
gamer xiao… yea he kinda scares me. xiao plays shooter games for sure, like obviously he’s had an eboy valorant phase but lets skip past that for now. its definitely more than normal to hear him grumbling how “dogshit” some of his teammates are. he’s definitely muted from chat on several games, also banned from league most of the time from being toxic in the chats.
playing competitive games with xiao is definitely an experience, and it definitely does not feel like the stereotypical pocket sage and hyper-carry jett. so please proceed with caution. the first time you and him played together, he may have gotten a little TOO HEATED and may have cussed you out on accident forgetting it was his loving, doting and caring partner who just wanted to participate in one of his hobbies. xiao doesn’t mean to get angry at you, please bare with him when the words “how is this person so fucking bad, how are they SO USELESS JUST GET OFF THE GAME DUDE” slip out. and oh boy… xiao immediately regrets his words, he feels so bad. he was actually overjoyed when you asked to play with him, even if he doesn’t actually show it, now he definitely assumes that you won’t ever want to play games with him EVER, hell maybe you want to break up. he’s spiralling. he apologises so much and he’s so awkward and so fidgety. its hard to stay mad at him, when he’s like this you have to admit he’s a little cutie. the next few days he’s definitely cautious and on edge around you, he finds it weird that you let go of the situation so easily and just moved on. he cant believe he let such vulgar words be thrown towards you. so after a conversation about his behaviour, you both decide maybe its best you just be an observer. you’re more than happy to straddle him, chin on his shoulder when he plays at his pc. and xiao LOVES IT, there is honestly nothing more comforting than you give him a little kiss when he starts to get a little too tense. occasionally when you face the screen and watch his games, he gets so nervous to play well. and xiao absolutely DIES when you compliment his abilities. bro needs the praise please, in that moment he thinks you’re so sexy and you have such a caring soul and his ears are tinted so red. don’t tease him though, he won’t be able to play the game properly.
another thing xiao is so weirdly good at is arcade games. i can picture arcade dates and xiao is just godly at them, claw machines, those basketball ones, car racing- you name it sweetheart and he’s earning those tickets like he needs to feed his 20 kids as a single dad. xiao acts so nonchalant about it, shrugging his shoulders as if this talent of his isn’t a big deal, but inside he’s so proud that he’s managed to get you that plushie he knows you’d been eyeing the whole day. he loves the way you grip onto his biceps pulling him to another machine to test his abilities, he may grumble about you overreacting but he’s so happy just to see you smile. and having you cheer him on the side is such an added bonus, you’re such a cute cheerleader. anyway i rate xiao a “please dont scold me baby im trying my best” out of “FUCK YOU FUCKING SUCK”
venti
horror games. literally venti HATES THEM but he cant get enough of it. playing phasmophobia would be so incredibly fun, but also a total shitshow. like im talking him making you do all the work while he intentionally provokes the ghost. at the same time he’s too scared to do anything so, he’s always really close to you. so if anything ever happens, you’d be a total idiot to think he’d try to help you, venti would be the first one out the door and running away. venti is also so horrendously LOUD, literally half the time instead of getting spooked by the game, your having a heart attack inducing jump scare from his random screaming. don’t even get me started on roblox horror games, every week there’s some new game he discovered on tiktok, and you are playing it with him, you have to.
another game venti loves to play is sims, but he’s about 100 times more chaotic compared to kazuha. he loves those ridiculous challenges and he wants to have like 10 babies with you, and then proceeds to cry when they are taken away from the sims version of cps. for some reason he has all the packs and likes to screw around with everything. he makes silly little bets with you in any game, for example in the sims he’d bet with you whether your 23rd child is going to be a boy or girl, most bets are harmless like a kiss or cuddles, unless he’s in the mood.
speaking of intimacy, venti needs to be holding you while playing games. arms linked, lying on your lap or you in his, honestly you just let him because he’s so cheeky about it anyway. venti also loves playing music related games with you, duh!! karaoke, guess the song, finish the lyric. ANYTHING!! whether you can sing or not, he just loves to hear your voice, definitely teases you if you cant though hehe. karaoke is so fun, if your shy he definitely eases you into letting lose and breaking out of your comfort zone, duetting with you is something he loves because music is his passion and honestly it hits so close to home for him. you’d often find him squeezing your hand as a form of encouragement.
im rating venti a solid 8 red bulls out of “i’ve already had 15”.
wanderer
this little emo baby is 100% only ever playing single player games, things that are extremely grindy and super lore heavy (bro is on subreddits looking at game theories and conspiracies, he would love to talk to you about them if you ever asked)!! im talking about bloodborne, doom, assassin’s creed and dark souls. he hates online multiplayer games because he doesn’t want to interact with “idiots” as he’s mentioned numerous times. so unfortunately its not often that you have a chance to play any type of multiplayer games with him.
however when it comes to his gaming sessions, he’d subtly invite you to come watch him because you’re like his own little streaming audience, and he loves it. the way you comment about how cool his character looks, or ask questions about gameplay mechanics. he loves how you involve yourself in his hobbies, it turns him to mush. he also loves how you play with his hair while peeking over his shoulder to look at the tv screen as he taps away at the controller. sometimes when the game gets a little boring he notices how your breath bounces off his neck, needless to say, those nights end up a bit more differently than how you originally imagined.
also if your ever interested in the game, kuni would “hesitantly” offer you to play on a new save file. but he’s actually elated that you’re going to try his FAVOURITE video game ever. you take your place in his lap as he explains to you the basics, not many would notice but you can ever so slightly hear the excitement in his voice. kuni complains about you being so lost but he’s so careful with explaining certain things, he’s also so patient as you take hours designing your character, well he’s okay being patient since its you. kuni absolutely DISSOLVES when facing a difficult boss, puzzle or obstacle, you kinda go into a slump against his chest and beg him to help you get past it. he snickers that your so weak, but somehow he manages to get through so swiftly- i guess he needs to show off a little to you. he also may complain a lot but thats just how this baby boy is, dont get discouraged he actually thinks you’re so cute.
also if you ever find yourself playing overcooked, moving out, gang beasts or any of those party games with kuni… good luck, just because he doesn’t like competitive games like valorant, DOES NOT MEAN HE ISNT COMPETITIVE. he gets so worked up and its honestly a little cute if you can look past the crusty white dog behaviour. if you do end up getting into an argument over these games, dont be surprised. im lazy to give a rating so im giving him 10/10, again minus the crusty white dog.
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edit: if you saw “anyway wanderer is a straight” HAHA i apologise maybe thats why i should straight proof reading oops hehe
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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 6 months ago
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just a girl 3
Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as possible cheating, low self-esteem, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.
Summary: you move in with your sister when your luck turns for the worst.
Characters: Walter Marshall, possible Andy Barber
Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I��m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself💜
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Another day, another disappointment. 
You don't know what you’re doing wrong. You have experience, you just lack a few good references. As much as you tell yourself it isn't your fault your past job ended the way it did, you're doubting even that. 
You try to keep out of the way since your last run-in with your brother-in-law. It might be better to consider him your landlord. You go outside as much as you can when he’s home. Sometimes just to walk and forget, but that’s getting harder to do. 
That day, you need to talk to Andy. It’s intimidating like when you used to ask your father to do anything. With Rhiannon, it was one smile and she got her way, but who can ever say no to her? With you, it was always an interrogation. Why do you want to do that? Who with? As if you were lying or up to no good. 
Your trip to the bank helps you sort your nerves, at least a little bit. You have it all rehearsed in your head. And he can’t be unhappy when you’re doing exactly what he told you too. 
A sigh escapes you as you enter the suburban sprawl. Each flawless facade, each primped and preppy housewife, each giggling child reminds you of your displacement. You tuck your hands into your jean pockets, further discomfited by the blazing sun as your Queens of the Stone Age shirt absorbs the heat. 
You have your wired earbuds in, blasting the new album you’ve been anticipating for a year. You pre-ordered when you still had a full-time income. Another reminder of how low you’ve fallen. Money you would gladly take back as you’re not feeling the electric pop flow. 
As you turn a corner, you flinch and dodge out of the way as a black speck approaches from the other side of the street. You assume it’s some kid chasing an errant soccer ball. To your surprise, it’s someone much bigger than any rambunctious fifth grader. 
It’s him. That man with the curly hair. Like you, he’s in jeans. This heat is unforgiving to denim. He wears a dark shirt on top, a hint of chest hair poking out. You look around and turn to continue on your path. He must be running after someone else. 
He calls your name. You only recall his as he falls into step with you. Walter. Your catch your ear buds as they fall out. 
“Hey, you weren’t at the Crayton barbecue,” he comments, “I was lonely.” 
You look at him from the corner of your eye, hands firmly back in your pockets as you push your shoulders up. 
“I’m not much into those things either but my girl is friends with their girl,” he explains, “was thinking you might be into something more lowkey.” 
“Um,” you squint, mourning your lack of sunglasses, “I don’t think so. I’m working on moving out soon...” 
“Yeah, sure, but not tonight,” he insists. “Chicken burgers only, promise.” 
You glance over at him. He’s taunting you. 
“I didn’t... I wasn’t... my sister told me to--” 
“Oh, so should I ask her if you should come over for a beer?” He challenges. 
“What?” You frown, “beer, I don’t drink.” 
“Got it, I have near beers you can have. Or I’ll have a beer and you can have ginger ale,” he suggests as he puts a hand up, “whatever you like.” 
You mull his invitation. You gnaw on your lip as you near the corner by your sister’s house. He doesn’t let up, in lockstep with you until you reach the gate. You stop with your hand on the white picket. He stands beside you. 
“Sorry but... why?” 
He scoffs, “I like your style. We have similar music taste. I don’t know. Like I said, I’m bored. Not a lot of people around here are into grunge. Even dudes my age prefer Seger to Cobain.” 
You were never a Nirvana cultist. You appreciate them but you prefer Grohl in his second era. You tap your fingertips on the wooden slat and face him. 
“I don’t know,” you utter and peek back at the house. It might be good to get out but this man is a stranger. Still, look at this place. This is the very picture of affluence. Not like he’s asking you back to some dingy alleyway. “I’d hate to trouble you.” 
“Hah,” he puts his hands on his hips, “I’m the one asking. You think I would if it was trouble? Besides, I see through the monochrome, you’re anything but trouble.” 
You can’t help the slant in your lips. Yep. That’s you. Boring. Dull. Like wallpaper. 
“Marshall,” a rocky growl greets from the front porch. You glance over as Andy emerges, in a yellow short-sleeved button up and khakis.  
“Barber,” Walter answers in a flat tone. 
“Need something?” Andy strides down the paved walkway, between the tulips and daisies your sister fawns over. 
“Not from you,” Walter retorts with a smirk, “talking to her.” 
“And why’s that?” 
You sense the tension. You glance between the men as they stare each other down. You shrink between them, trapped at the gate. 
“Her business, not yours,” Walter scoffs, “no client privilege here, bud, now we’re having a chat.” 
“Outside my house?” Andy sneers 
The other man shakes his head and ignores him, turning his back to the fence, “anyway, six-thirty? I’ll come by to get you for that beer.” 
You can’t find your voice to disagree as you’re choked by thick air, the heat turning stolid in their obvious spite for each other. Walter glances over his shoulder nods at Andy before he turns to stride off. You cough and watch him go. 
The gate jolts out of your grasp as Andy pulls it open from the other side. You let go and falter before you step through. You shy away as he stands, a hand on one hip, the other on the gate door. He swings it shut with a snap. 
“You’re hanging out with Marshall?” He asks. 
“He... asked,” you face him, bouncing indecisively on the walk, “er, Andy, actually, I wanted to talk--” 
“You should tell him to fuck off,” Andy interrupts. 
“Oh?” 
“Trust me. I work with the jackass.” 
“You do?” You wonder. 
“Sometimes. At the precinct,” he sniffs and turns to you, “stubborn asshole.” 
“Right, well, I didn’t... I don’t...” 
“Guess I shouldn’t complain if it gets you out of my hair,” he snorts. 
“Andy, er,” you grab your satchel and unzip the top, “I got my unemployment so... here.” You hold out the envelope of bills. It’s all you have left after paying for your most basic expenses, “for groceries and whatever.” 
“And whatever?” He takes the envelope with a skeptical look, “sure.” 
You stand in silence. You thought he’d have a different reaction. Maybe not elated but maybe a thanks? You don’t know. He hates you, just like everyone else. 
“I’m sorry,” you say, “I... I don’t want to be in the way.” 
“You should’ve told her no. Rhiannon... she’s too nice for her own good. Even to her family and you all just walk all over her.” 
You furrow your brow, “I don’t... I wouldn’t--” 
“Save it,” he rolls his eyes and slips the envelope into his pocket, “that’ll do for one month, but you’ve been here two.” 
“Uh, yeah,” you quaver, breathless. Not good enough. Never good enough. 
“You know, acting pathetic, it’s not endearing. Maybe to Rhi, but not me.” 
“I’m sorry--” 
“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” he taunts, “alright, noted. Have fun with Marshall.” He snickers, “bit of advice, don’t put out after one beer, try to make him work for it. Hell, maybe if he does, you could learn a lesson or two about work.” 
Your eyes sting and you swallow tightly. You turn to step past him and he blocks you with his arm. You back up and look him in the face. Unlike Rhiannon, you can do that. She always looks ridiculous next to him. 
“Or maybe, if you can get some money out of it...” he looks you up and down and you hug yourself defensively. “Ah, nah,” his eyes drift past you, towards the street, “I know that bastard. He’s just tryna get to me.” He laughs darkly and shakes his head, “too bad I don’t give a shit.” He turns his glare back on you, “do me a favour, stay a bit later. I’d like some privacy with my wife.” 
You drop your eyes meekly and nod, “yeah, I’ll try. Sorry, again.” 
He inhales and lets it out heavy. He slowly moves out of your way, “it’s weird,” he says as you move past him, “sometimes, you actually do look like her sister,” he comments as your pace picks up, “like her but not pretty.” 
You continue inside without a response. You don’t know why he has to take it there. Why he can’t just take his win and be happy? Or at least content.
You remember before the wedding, when he found you, told you to stay in the back for photos. You apologised then too, even if he was being mean. It doesn’t matter, you’re always wrong. 
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laithraihan · 7 months ago
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now i’m kinda curious to hear what you think of proshipping.. if you don’t mind of course
I'll share my thoughts, and if theres anything I say that doesnt make sense feel free to point it out to me because I mostly write with the help of a translator. Under the cut because I wrote too much stuff.
TLDR: proshippers hate me because I dont want to look at glorified depictions of pedophilia/incest/etc, antis hate me because my content isnt 100% sanitized. I stay around anti circles because I find it slightly easier for me to talk about my headcanons with them even though I think they can be insufferable.
So the thing about proshipping. From what I've seen it means being "anti-harassment" and being in support of curating your online experience, which sounds great on paper and that's practically what I do. I have over 3k accounts blocked on my personal twitter to navigate the website more easily and I also dont care if someone blocks me if they dont like my stuff.
Except proshippers never consider me a proshipper because I am uncomfortable with viewing glorified depictions of topics like pedophilia, incest, rape, all that stuff. The same way people are uncomfortable with excessive blood and gore (which I also can't really handle seeing). Whether or not it's always easy to tell if it's glorified is an entirely different topic, which is precisely why I stay away from all depictions in general to avoid being intrusive.
And what's interesting is that I do not label myself an "anti". Mainly because I don't even know what the term "anti" is supposed to mean ("anti-" what exactly. Genuinely please tell me because I actually dont know) But the ones who label themselves "proship" always call me an anti, because again I do not wish to engage with content related to pedophilia etc, and that alone apparently enough to be considered "a person who harasses others over fiction" even if I mind my own business and have no interest in forcing my personal tastes on others, especially if they make it clear that they wont change their mind. Which makes me believe that for a lot of self-identified proshippers, the definition of being "proship" would be more similar to "I love fucked up stuff and if you dont then youre lame and it obviously means you can't tell the difference between fiction and reality" which honestly seems like insecurity to me.
Forgive me for bringing up this up once again but I want to mention an example to make it easier for me to explain: yknow the whole thing with me drawing Minori and Reigen and labelling it "non-cp" which caused a wave of both self-identified antis and proshippers harassing me over that (I'll say that proshippers were more bold about it since the antis harassing me were all anonymous). Proshippers saw me saying "I dont ship that" and interpreted it as me being defensive and in denial, as if I said "guys I swear Im an anti !!! please dont think im a proshipper !!! ", when I meant "I dont want to discuss this with others in a shipping manner because thats not how I see it and I dont want to enter a space Im not comfortable with"
I admit I responded to this situation in a petty manner, but this was after several days of harassment done directly in my inbox and publicly (sometimes I wish yall remembered that group chats and priv accounts exist). My point is that simply saying you don't like seeing pedophilia in fiction is enough for proshippers to believe it's justified for them to harass you over it (and I'm fully aware they'll say it's not harassment, only when antis and "puriteens" do this to them then it's harassment)
Now about the anti side. Don't get me started on them either. If proshippers see me as an enemy then this must mean that I always get along with the ones who call themselves "antis" (I do not). Note that Im only talking about adults here, I dislike beefing with children and I think their feelings about this are entirely reasonable (I'll elaborate on this when talking about internet safety)
But anyways. I think a lot of adults are discourse-brained and do way too much. Im thinking of nonsense like "this ship is problematic because they are 'sibling-coded' so thats basically incest" "siblings giving each other a hug gives me proship vibes" things of that nature. And you're not allowed to do anything that even has the smallest possibility of being interpreted as "problematic", because then they'll harass you for it, and if you clarify your intentions, they expect you to apologize for "misleading" them because clearly they didnt do anything wrong by making assumptions about you.
There's almost no room allowed for creativity with them, everyone has to follow fanon because they consider it canon, if you ever want to try something other than the same boring domestic fluff then it's "too much" (and not even platonic affection is acceptable to draw in certain cases). Which is incredibly fucking boring to me who wants to see different types of content. People even said I was enjoying incest for drawing Reigen selfcest, and that I was "making others uncomfortable" by drawing it. Genuinely seems to me that they only care about moral superiority, that they never think about anything in depth, and I dont think they realize that it also shows in what they create: boring and repeated fanart and headcanons where the only thing you can say about it is "thats cute", nothing more because you saw it ten billion times already. You cant draw two people showing platonic affection that absolutely nobody would bat an eye if it happened in real life, you cant discuss something specific in more depth without people saying you have a fetish for it, and then they'll harass you based on their speculation that it's a fetish. I dont think many realize this, but fandoms are full of autistic people, so it's normal to see people who are interested in very specific things that dont make sense to others! I wish people were less judgmental, but at the same time I dont care if people think Im weird. I think what I mean is theres no reason to mistreat weird people who do no harm to others.
So yeah if you call yourself an "anti" I'll assume youre spend too much time engaging in fandom discourse and you're the type of person to believe that fanart where two people are holding hands is the equivalent to drawing them fucking each other. Which I think is a very childish mindset to have and it's worrying that many adults think this way. I also think that as an adult they should be capable of blocking stuff they hate instead of constantly arguing with people online because at this point it's just mental torture.
The thing about internet safety I mentioned earlier, I'd say this is the one thing that I'll always prioritize discussing whenever proship discourse comes up.... To put it simply: filter and limit the visibility of your content, do not put triggering stuff in the main tags, stay in your own circles. Whether or not you believe fictional rape/pedophilia/etc is bad is irrelevant, my point is that these are objectively triggering topics and should be filtered just like how there are warnings for violence and blood even if it's not real.
"But it's the parents' responsibility to control what kids look at online, this has nothing to do with me!" and I agree with the parents being the ones Primarily responsible. However the reality is that children are online and there's nothing you can do to stop it from happening. Kids will also enter spaces theyre not allowed in, theyre children and children are rebellious especially teenagers, I was like this as a teenager too. You'd be lying if you said you were always obedient since childhood and never did anything you were told Not to do. And you can't really expect teenagers to always block and not interact if they see something triggering. It's your responsibility to block them if they interact with you, because what I see most of the time is adults bickering with teenagers who are uncomfortable, calling them "puriteens", putting them on blast and allowing other adults including NSFW accounts to dunk on them.
Humiliating and degrading teenagers does not "teach them a lesson", it only makes the teenager more stubborn and reactive. Adults must accept that kids will always find their way in there even if your content isnt easily accessible. So I think it's stupid to feel offended at a child because they got upset when they found upsetting content like how any normal child would react. Which is why I wish more adults would keep blocking without saying anything petty to provoke teenagers.
Before someone pancake-waffles me and says "so youre fine with antis doxxing people" no I do not support doxxing. Ive been doxxed so I know it sucks. However the only times Ive seen it go this far is after continuous arguing because nobody knows when to stop. Im not saying this applies all the time nor am I saying doxxing is fine, but there are ways to minimize this sort of outcome as much as possible. Both sides have doxxed people over petty arguments that couldve easily been avoided if they just blocked each other and moved on.
The topic above (internet safety) is probably the only thing related to this where Im actively telling others what they should be doing. It's not only teenagers who are triggered by depictions of pedophilia etc but also adults like myself. In my case Im old enough to block content I dislike without saying a word, however I cant help but think that there's not enough being done about filtering especially when I do not search for this type of content and I still see it all the time.
I also think it's important for me to mention that I have a very poor sense of morality. I do not have a personal moral code that I adhere to, and I mostly stick to the basic universal ones that make sense to me. So I will not discuss the "morals" of consuming this stuff because I am not adequate to share an opinion on this, and I know the most popular topic of discussion related to proship discourse is morality which I frankly find counterproductive. I dont understand why people should care so much if I find something morally correct or not, unless it's to make themselves feel better about having a "superior opinion" to mine. Though I will say that if a man tells me he's into rape "but only in fiction!" then I dont think it will stop me of imagining myself bashing his skull repeatedly with large rocks. Maybe Im too mistrustful of men in general.
Final point I want to clarify is that I am not trying to assert some sort of superiority over people by disliking both sides, like saying "Im not an anti or a proshipper Im a Normal person" or something like that, and Im not expressing a "neutral" stance on the topic of fiction's influence on reality either. There are topics like racism and orientalism in fiction that Im vocal about (which is expected since Im Algerian). I genuinely believe there are many things that are interesting to discuss and should be prioritized, but too many people are chronically online, subjective and defensive, at this point I dont even think it's accurate to say that disliking one side automatically means you support the other side regarding fiction. To me, "proship discourse" is not about the debate of the effects of fiction on reality, censorship in media, etc. It's about everything I described earlier that happens online.
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not-goldy · 3 months ago
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the thing is I'm sure jimin was suffering too during the months jungkook was working nonstop like july,september,october,november
I'm sure he missed jungkook just as much he's just way more lowkey about it and would never showcase it online
just different types of people
I don't disagree
He's either better at pretending things don't bother him when they do or better at processing negative feelings as and when they arise because if it were me, FAM🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The whole world is about to know.
The in laws will know
The siblings will know
The ancestors will know
The pastor will know
Even your therapist will hear about it.
I'll call into radio shows and air our business cos you are not about to make me the broken hearted girl😌
And missing someone who isn't reaching out to you is a whole other level of pain Jesus 😕 💔
Forget the ego
It's your self respect vs your emotional needs and feeding one destroys the other. You don't know pain till you've been put in that tormenting situation.
And it makes a lot of sense why dude keeps complaining about chronic loneliness dude been repressing so much it's alienating😭😭😭😭😭
I want to go to therapy with Jimin😭😭😭😭😭😭
There's a lot we both need to work through
And I feel he's wrapped himself in so much principles it's barring him from expressing certain things certain very human things that's now working against him.
He set himself up and now he gotta hide certain things and certain feelings
Imagine telling Jungkook he's childish for throwing tantrums when he misses you- now you gotta be the better person and live as an example when you in the same situation otherwise you no better🥴
Imagine constantly setting yourself up like that. Imagine feeling you have to be the better and bigger person in every situation because you feel your whole life is an example to others.
He has that first born curse and 1st born syndrome. He expects too much of himself and he's allowed those around him from the BTS group to his fans to have the same high expectations of him.
I'm not mad at that except it can be draining and exhausting and a lonely experience cos not too many can relate.
And people wonder why his solos are the way they are constantly making up ridiculous unsustainable unattainable standards for both him and others to follow, constantly putting him on a pedestal and acting shook if he goes off even a little bit.
Meanwhile he's only human and humans aren't perfectly flawed. ITS OKAY TO HAVE FLAWS you know??
I'm glad Jk spoke about Namjoon admitting he didn't know what to do with Jk. When it was happening and I spoke about it people came for me. I recall people making such a big fuss about me saying Namjoon gives of elitist energy (much like PJMs) and was constantly having at it with Jungkook because he wouldn't fall in line while Jimin would.
I said this before, Jimin made his leadership so easy for him because people like that do not stirr shit up. They are predictable easy to manage and easy to deal with.
And I recall saying they were constantly looking up to Jimin to set the pace and keep Jungkook in check and how that was a lot for a teen- because Jimin was a teen too.
That expectation of perfectionism is crazy. I'm not a fan of anyone who expects that of Jimin- particularly his solo stans. Namjoon can get away with it, he's tall.
Dude didn't want to be bothered he just wanted an easy tenure of office and Jungkook was anything but. It's why he will always write him letters and always invest energy into repairing their dynamic and why he would always feel he owes Jungkook an apology.
And Suga is right in telling him never mind. Embrace your self the whole of yourself it's okay to make mistakes it's okay to be flawed
You don't gotta live life in a constant teacher mood where you feel every aspect of you is a curated lesson for others.
And I'm glad he explored this theme in his 1st album but please Jimin, let's go to therapy 😩
We have so much to work on baby
Or who knows, may be he's just super human and I'm wrong🥴
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raayllum · 7 months ago
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I’m sorry how is arc 2 not about aaravos? Everything about the show leads back to aaravos. The whole lore of the show is centered around aaravos. And it is absolutely titled the mystery of aaravos because it does plan on dealing with the mystery of aaravos in every possible way, and that has infact been confirmed by the showrunners on multiple instances. Aaravos is just as, if not more of a main character than rayllum in the ways that count because everything going on revolves around him. 
And since he’s an EXTREMELY important character, how is it not justified for fans of him to want more screen time of him? 
I’m sorry but not everything about the show revolves around rayllum and you shouldn’t call people out just for wanting to see more of their favorite character.
God forbid something about aaravos is actually about aaravos and not rayllum for once 💀💀
Actually I can and do call people out for wanting to see more of their favourite character when it causes them to be entitled / unfair to the broader story they want to tell. If you haven't been doing those things, then that post wasn't about you, but given the way you put your best foot forward here, I might go out on a limb and guess this might be behaviour you display sometimes, and it may be worth reconsidering.
As a bit of background:
My favourite character in a TV show was once a side character who was in 1/4 seasons, and one episode in the final season, and then he never showed up again. which was Okay, because he was a Side Character and it would've been pretty silly for the show to bend over backwards to include him more. Granted, there were opportunities (him and another character were travelling together, then she showed up at a Plot Relevant location without him and it was never addressed) but the show wasn't bad or wrong for not including more. I wasn't owed more screen time just because he was my favourite character, and while any character can Technically be Levelled Up for more screen time and plot relevance, sometimes characters are just there to serve more minor specific purposes, and that's Okay. It's all about adjusting your own expectations and not being an asshole.
Furthermore, given that I posted my personal opinion on my personal blog and only used my personal tags for it, you had two options for finding this post:
It got sent to you, presumably meaning you had someone else to be salty with in a private manner that would've been far more appropriate
You follow(ed) me, in which case you are more than encouraged to unfollow or block me if I have a post/opinion you find annoying or uncouth. Please do so rather than doing whatever This Is in my inbox in the future, it'll likely save you not only time but also embarrassment
The fact you thought going into the inbox of a Virtual Stranger and getting upset about me not thinking your favourite character is the Most Important Character in TDP Ever — because he isn't — in one (1) post is truly baffling to me in terms of 1) curating your internet experience and 2) interacting appropriately with strangers directly online. I've seen a lot of shit opinions in my day, and I vent in private to my fandom friends about it 99.9% of the time, thank you very much, or post about it in my personal tags on my own blog rather than making it someone else's problem.
In the nature of analysis / debate, though, let me clear what I meant considering 4+ people got their trousers in a twist about the idea that Aaravos isn't a main character.
That said, a few quick disclaimers: Aaravos is a very interesting character to me, and I like him a lot. I've written a fair bit about him in regards to how he's a thematic opposite to Harrow, his view of children, what I think happened to his chest piece, speculation on his banishment, his parallels to Finnegrin, his mythic connections to aspects of the Fae + Egyptian and Greek mythology, his foil relationship to Rayla, his characterization and motifs/symbols. So it's not as though I don't enjoy him or don't think he's important to the story. He is, he's just not a main character nor the most important. Moving on:
Secondly: it seems maybe my meaning of macguffin is getting misconstrued. A story Macguffin is a plot device that drives the story forward. Sometimes it's a character (R2D2 in star wars has to be transported from one dangerous location to safety because he has blue print plans), sometimes it's an object (the one ring, fetch quests, etc). Either way, the story is centralized around 1) characters competing for ownership or safe guarding of said person/thing and 2) through that competition or competing needs, the characterization of the main cast is revealed.
In Arc 1, Zym is the plot Macguffin. He overall has very little personality even once hatched beyond being sweet, occasionally helpful, and scared. He is the titular character, and his existence matters, but mostly because he serves as a motivational point for the characters. Claudia, Soren, and Viren want to stop Zym from getting back to Xadia; Rayla, Callum, and Ezran, want to help him get back.
Zym himself does not drive episodes forward. He rarely makes decisions that impact the main group. His existence or fears cause them to make decisions (they go looking for help because they dropped his egg; Rayla and Callum have to go after Nyx because she stole him) but he is not likewise making decisions for the group. S4 definitely levelled Zym up into him making 1) more independent decisions and 2) having more of his own interior feelings, particularly about his father, but Callum is the one who decides to send him up into the trees; Ezran is the one calling the meeting for Zym to come to Katolis. A couple of exceptions (he has a mini arc about his mom for 2 eps, he has an arc in s2 with Ezran) do not suddenly make Zym a "I'm making decisions that heavily push the plot forward every episode" kind of character.
You'll also note, if you actually read said post you're referencing, that I specified "'the mystery of aaravos' (esp these past two seasons)" and that I never mentioned lore, either, even if I have likewise written about lore extensively (one of my more recent metas on it was about 4.8k words on lore alone, for example).
Aaravos' plot impact was a lot heavier in S2 and particularly S3 than it is in S4 or S5, as he influenced Viren's decisions more heavily and eventually came into more direct conflict with the core protagonists. This is likewise reflected in Aaravos in S2 and S3 being in multiple episodes (half the season in s2, and almost every episode at least a little in s3).
Meanwhile in Arc 2, Aaravos could effectively, unknown to his pawns drop dead after giving Claudia her final instructions pre-S4, and nothing would be affected plot wise, because Arc 2 thus far has mostly been characters fearing his impending release (the main cast) or dealing with the fallout of his actions from S3 (the Sunfire elf plot line). The only thing we'd lose on that level from a "Claudia believes Aaravos is alive and is trying to free him, but he's not actually" is Callum and Rayla's possession plot line, ironically enough given your apparent dislike of them, until the very very end of 5x09 in which he tries to goad Viren into killing SS.
I'm excited for and expecting that to change in S6 and S7, but that doesn't change what S4 and S5 currently are, either. Same thing for Amaya and Janai more so being main characters, Janai in particular, in S4 and S5, but they were not main characters in the first three seasons. That doesn't mean they're not good, meaningful, and important characters for the story, but I'd be a very poor meta writer / have very poor media literacy if I tried to claim that Janai is a main character in arc 1 over say, Callum.
For another example: everything in Avatar: The Last Airbender revolves around Team Avatar wanting to stop Ozai, but Ozai is not a main character in the show. He's there to be a minor character, an endgame big bad, and to affect his children / embody the conflict the characters are up against. The fact that TDP has so many antagonists that are also Main Characters throughout the whole show (Viren, Claudia) is actually pretty rare in media, particularly for children.
The Legend of Zelda games usually revolve around Link wanting to save or free Zelda, and while certain games flesh her out and make her more developed into a main character, the central character of the narrative is Link, because he's the character we follow the most.
Additionally, the Importance of a character in a narrative has no bearing on whether they're your favourite, or even necessarily whether they're a 'good' / 'well written' character. Rayla, for example, is my personal #1 favourite character in TDP. She is a main character; she is not The main character. That's not an insult to Rayla; she's there to be a foil, one hell of a narrative lancer, and our main elven character. But I can't (nor do I want to) magically change her role in the story to claim that it's something it isn't.
The central main character of TDP is Callum. It always has been, it always will be.
He is the character who shows up in every single episode, he's our central mage character in a show all about magic, he has the most developed relationships out of everyone, he is the POV character we follow the most. That doesn't mean he's your favourite, that doesn't mean he has to be your preference, you don't even have to like him. But he is The Main Character. The majority of the story revolves around him and the people in his life. No amount of liking another character more is going to change that, whether you're clamouring for Rayla, Aaravos, Sol Regem or anyone else.
While there are shows where I think the side lining of characters feels off (Gus and Willow in The Owl House come to mind) that's mostly because 1) that sort of side lining usually happens to characters of colour, as it did there and 2) there's no real reason for the story to sideline them considering everyone lives in close proximity and there's a s1 emphasis that the main character has never had friends before and that she desperately wants some. Therefore, she should be thrilled to have best friends for the first time, but we barely see them. See the disconnect?
Aaravos is a minor character and big bad who is well utilized in the overall minimal screentime he has, especially thus far in S4 and S5. That doesn't mean he's not important to the story, and that doesn't mean he can't or shouldn't be your favourite, but your assertion doesn't miraculously make him our main core protagonist of the entire show, because 1) he's not our central pov character and 2) that's about the only requirement a main protagonist has to have, and 3) that's just not how stories work.
I also have no clue why you brought up Rayllum as a ship, given that I didn't mention them in my OG post at all, but given that you seem to think "this character isn't a main character" is a moral or value statement, I'll assume you said it to ruffle my feathers — that doesn't really work, given that I agree with you that not everything in the show is about Callum or Rayla individually or as a relationship, because it Isn't. Even if I hated them as characters or as a dynamic, however, that wouldn't change the fact that they're two of the core 3 characters (alongside Ezran) and that their relationship has the most screentime out of anyone in the show.
And if the show decided to tone down their screen time to give other characters more time, I'd be okay with that — because I don't need my Personal Favourite to be the most important character in the source material / screen time ever in order to feel secure in liking them, thanks.
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angst-after-dark · 2 months ago
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CW: BBU/BBU-ADJACENT SETTING , REFERENCED NONCON, REFERENCED INSTITUTIONALIZATION, OBSESSIVE WHUMPER
Valerian Ainsworth belongs to @wildfae-afterdark
Art credit to @whump-card
For @ailesswhumptober day 19, "I wish I could get you back."
TAGLIST: @siren-of-agony , @girlsjustwannadrawwhump , @gottawhump , @flowersarefreetherapy , @emeraldwhump , @writingbackwards-blog , @winedark-whump @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @oddsconvert (please let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist)
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AUGUST, 20XX - It’s the start of August, summer is nearly over, but that hasn’t stopped the hydrangeas in front of Valerian Ainsworth’s apartment from blooming. A lover of beauty, Ainsworth has had the gorgeous white flowers, about the size of my hand, plucked and put in a vase. It adorns the table in their front foyer, greeting me as I enter their home for our interview. 
Dressed in a floor length, powder blue dress that shimmers every time they move, Ainsworth is as beautiful as ever - the epitome of everything their platform stands for. Thin gold bracelets wrap around their wrists. Since they have a habit of speaking with their hands - “My Italian heritage,” they laugh -  they jingle and create a sound that sparkles the same way they do. Their hair is swept away from their face and trailing down their back in soft waves.
Everything about them - from their home, to their attire, to the way they carry themself - is aesthetically pleasing. It’s stunning and I find myself marveling at the differences between their life and mine. 
One might think, with how horrifying the accusations against them were, Ainsworth would be emotionally drained and hiding away from the public. However, as they themself have stated over and over, they are a survivor.
While many others would’ve been cowed and buckled at the attention of last year’s trial and their subsequent stint in a rehabilitation facility, Ainsworth has used it to their advantage. They haven’t shied away from talking about their experiences - an experience many have wanted to hear about. Their newly garnered fifty million TikTok and Instagram followers can attest to that.
While they’re not quite a pariah in the online community, they are a controversial figure. And, as we know, controversy sells. It is as lucrative as ever. Their phone buzzes ceaselessly during our interview.
Brand deals, they tell me. 
Far from being canceled by any sort of “woke” mob, Ainsworth seems to have fallen upwards and many are happy to see it. The past seems to be forgotten as they sit on the couch in their quiet, Midtown apartment. 
It isn’t. 
The past is the sole purpose of my visit. Getting a peek behind the carefully curated persona and digging into the ugly truth. 
VALERIAN AINSWORTH: Thank you for giving me the opportunity to tell my truth. It’s truly difficult to understand what really went on with all the stories floating around. There’s been so much of a focus on legal procedure; there hasn’t been a chance to focus on all the things that truly matter. 
NESTA ROBERTS: The trial did seem pretty brutal. There was a lot of evidence put forth. Some things looked like they were difficult to sit through. Was there anything the lawyers, your lawyers, failed to mention during their closing arguments that you think would’ve helped your case?
VALERIAN  AINSWORTH: Absolutely. I had a decent legal team and I’m so grateful for the work they put into my case but they spent so much time on my past, on things that happened with my parents, they failed to mention how deeply I care for Christopher Wickham. 
NR: You’re speaking of care, present tense. Not cared, past tense?
VA, laughing a bit sadly: Yes, care, present tense and perhaps it’s a bit foolish. I know - I know, now, that my love won’t be returned but the heart wants what it wants. I was always taught to follow my heart’s desire wherever it may lead me. Unfortunately, I wasn't taught boundaries to go along with that but I'm learning those now. 
NR: Yes, of course. My heart’s desire often leads me into another pint of Rocky Road Ice Cream whether it's good for me or not. Now, a lot of people are very curious. Why Wickham? What drew you to him in the first place?
VA: At first, it was because of their connection to another old friend, Peyton Montgomery but once I met Wicky, Wickham, once I got to know them and that mind behind those adorable curls, I couldn't look away. They truly captured my heart. They’re incredible, stubborn, strong, gentle, funny, and so very kind. He’s a sweetheart who always made time for me and, as you heard in the trial, I’m not accustomed to being a priority in someone’s life. It was a whirlwind and I will always be grateful to Wicky for showing me what that feels like. I wish I could get him back.
NR: They do sound like a catch. What about Peyton Montgomery? Do you still have feelings for him as well?
VA: Peyton was….He was my first love and in some ways, your first love never leaves you. I still care for him deeply, but….not in the same way I once did. He’s very different from the person I spent Hampton summers with. It’s truly bittersweet but I will always hold a fondness for him in my heart. [LAUGHS] Peyton and I always got into a bit of trouble back then. It was more of a crush, puppy love, if you will. I grew up with Peyton. He was someone familiar and safe but we weren't compatible. It was never something that could be longterm - not like it was with Wicky. 
NR: Okay, Valerian. I have to ask because there have been several theories surrounding your case and you know how the internet gets. Wickham’s case against you, his allegations, have made both of you quite popular - you’re practically a household name. Quite a few people followed the trial on TikTok, Twitter, Facebook, other social media platforms….
VA: …Yes. I was….that was very unexpected. I’m just a person in love. I truly wasn't looking for infamy or clout or anything and if I could’ve avoided putting our relationship out there, I would have. It was a sweet, private thing. Wicky was the one who wanted to take everything to the media. 
NR: Wasn't there a text on your phone saying you would send Wickham’s nudes to the media if they didn't do what you wanted?
VA: I never would have done that, Nesta. As I said, it was a sweet, private thing. Something Wicky blew out of proportion. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have said that but couples have their issues and often say things they don't mean. As much I love them, as happy as I was in our relationship, it was far from perfect. 
NR: There have been theories that your obsession with Wickham was actually revenge for your old friend. The theories state that everything that passed between you two was to punish Wickham for keeping your first love as a Romantic.
VA [LAUGHS]: Oh God! Hardly. I suppose there will always be people who look for the worst light to cast someone in. No, I was never looking for revenge. I was just…lonely. I had lost the woman I felt would be my forever. I lost my pet. I lost everything I felt made me, well, me. I read too much into passing kindnesses and fell in love with a man who pretended to love me back. I’m sure everyone has been through something similar when looking for a rebound. 
NR: Have you heard from your ex, did you hear from her at all while you were pursuing Wickham?
VA: No. She only loved my money. Once that was gone, so was she. I did see her on social media every once in a while; It was clear that she’d moved on rather easily. I suppose that’s another mistake I made.
NR: Oh?
VA: Yes. I trusted the wrong person but I’ve learned. Life has a way of showing you who your true support is and I’d like to take a moment to thank my fans on social media, on Instagram, Twitter (I refuse to call it X), Tiktok, who have sent me love and encouragement everyday. They have been my true cheerleaders. I know, whether Wicky and I work out our issues or not, I’m blessed to have my fans. 
NR: Is there anything you’d like to say to your ex, anything you’d like her to know?
VA [SMILES]: Oh yes, of course. If she hadn't abandoned me when things were looking their worst, I wouldn’t know what real love is. [THEY GESTURE TO THEIR SURROUNDINGS] I suppose I have her to thank for all of this.
Valerian Ainsworth is a person obsessed with beauty, with appearance, with aesthetics. In this age of perfectly made up influencers and social media driven lives, they're a master of their craft. Every part of their life has been carefully curated, especially their honesty and vulnerability. One has to wonder if they are their own target audience. Is it truly authenticity if you believe your own stories? Where does the craft end and the person begin? Do they even know? We certainly don't.
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cryscendo · 3 months ago
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i was gonna reply to your comment on my post but i thought id bring the discourse straight to your inbox instead alskfjdslk its not like we're telling teenagers to go out and discover some weird kinks of their own right this second lmao but they absolutely have to learn to be comfortable with the fact that people are going to be into kinky shit they think is weird and thats its not in fact a moral issue and also none of their business lol
like when i was a kid everything was so fucking raunchy and im not saying it was better but everything has to be so fucking sanitized now and thats not good either. when i was a kid online in the 00s people would literally link you to shock porn videos as a joke and that was just an accepted norm. nowadays there are so many ways to tailor your online experience to you and people are just ignoring all these block and filter functions and look at shit they know they dont like and bitch about it when they had every opportunity not to see it
and it goes back to the fucking rocky horror discourse like god forbid youre trying to portray a queer character in a way thats anything other than the most palatable beige blank slate that ever was. god forbid a queer character acts or dresses or looks or behaves in a queer way aksfjsld they want everything to be so fucking boring and palatable to 1) encapsulate every single queer experience on earth in a single piece of media and 2) be tolerable to straight people because theyre under the illusion that there is any acceptable way for a queer person to be to a bigot other than dead. both are a useless endeavor and they need to quit wasting energy on caring about either
like god fandom just feels so bleak nowadays and i know part of it is bc of how fast things move and no one can hold longterm interest in stuff anymore but a huge part of it is how flat out prudish people are all of a sudden
let ships be problematic let queer characters be weird let sex be kinky lmao let fandom by fun again my godddd
sorry for the rant aklsfjkdshfdk i apparently had a lot to say but hey i love you thanks for complaining with me xxxxx
omg i’m so sorry i meant to respond to this earlier than now!!! i saw it originally when i was waking up for work and thought “ooooh she’s making some banger points i’ll respond to that on my break” and then i just… forgot. so here i am now better late than never 🥰
i’ve always had a bit of a problem with the incessant need to sanitize fandom. i’m not saying ppl can’t curate their fandom experience to appeal to their interests, because obviously, they absolutely can. HOWEVER i do think it has become much more policed than it once was.
i think kink, and understanding its place on a fundamental level (especially within queer spaces), is something that takes maturity to fully understand. like with the rocky horror thing, the use of sexuality and kink is inherently different than what a young person of today might perceive it as. it doesn’t particularly surprise me that people are so sensitive to it, because they simply don’t understand their roots — they’ve formed this concept of queerness that pleases them, and therefore find other demonstrations of queerness to be antiquated or “back-pedalling” (even though we both know it isn’t). i think it’s dumb and immature to try to dictate “right and wrong” ways to be queer, but i’m also not all that shocked that it’s happening.
all this to say, queer characters don’t have to fit into the boxes that we deem as “appropriate”. just like how real queer people don’t owe an explanation for who they are, these queer characters don’t HAVE to reflect every queer person that engages with their media.
personally for me, kink is a MASSIVE component of the queer experience. so because of that, i like my favourite bitches to be kinky but that’s just me 😌
absolutely feel free to rant anytime your opinions are literally always correct to me <3
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rius-cave · 10 months ago
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jhhhheyyyy it's me the one that sent the lute and adam thingy where lute doesnt recognise adam
uh if you like ever want me to stop interacting with your posts because im young then please please please tell me because i will if you arent comfortable with it :)
Oooh buddy, here's the thing. I'm not your mom, once I post stuff, it's kind of out of my ability to monitor who interacts with my posts and who doesn't. Even blocking isn't gonna stop someone if they really want to see them lol. I was a teen too, I did all kinds of shit.
That being said, I'd rather that no minors engage directly with me about nsfw topics. I think the Lute thing is whatever, but be mindful about your own safety and boundaries. I'm just a silly dude posting my silly shit and my power ends with me saying "This is mature content about a show that is +16 in the first place" so I can't curate your online experience for you.
It also depends on how young you are. If you're like, 12, you probably shouldn't be in Tumblr in the first place lmao, much less even be aware of Hazbin's existence *shrug*
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intersexfairy · 2 years ago
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I know a lot of minors aren't taught internet safety, so here are some internet safety tips. I learned these growing up, and by not being safe as a minor. Please note some of these have exceptions if a trusted adult is involved.
First, throw away the idea of the internet as a safe place. It is not safe. It never was and never will be safe. There are far too many people and things running around on the internet for it to be safe for anyone - adults included. But we can modify how we use it to minimize risk - that's all "internet safety" is. So, that said:
Do not give or display personal information (especially not to people you don't know offline). Use an alias, even on email accounts. Don't tell people how old you are, or where you live. Don't post your face, or pictures of anyone or thing that could be used to identify you. Keep any account with personal information private, only viewable to people you know in person. Make sure a trusted adult or friend is aware of what you do online - someone who knows things in case anything happens.
If you need to break some of the above rules due to dangers you face in person, stay anonymous. Blur your face and other identifying info. Make throwaway accounts. Only share what's necessary to help you, and nothing more. Be careful about where you seek help. If possible, find an organization with online resources or a hotline.
Stay away from adult spaces and pay attention to content warnings. Filter tags and phrases (ex: minors dni, nsfw, [insert your trigger here]). TW/CW tag content you post, too. Don't follow NSFW accounts, and certainly don't make one - there is no exception. Any sexual expression is best kept between you and your friends, in a safe, offline place. And any adult who tells you it's okay to be in 18+ spaces as a minor does not care about your safety.
Also, ideally, follow age ratings on media - social media and apps included. I know, this one isn't fun. Even Tumblr is 17+. You can have some really positive experiences on apps like this, so I wont tell you to gtfo. But you can just as easily have some awful ones. If you ever feel unsafe or distressed on a platform, please know you have every right to leave. Nothing is more important than your safety and wellbeing.
Lastly, I'm upset to say this one, but please dont fucking harass people. If you don't like someone, block them. And if someone is harming someone else, report them and let others know to block them. Harassing people online can, genuinely, kill them. I saw it happen the other day. (I mean this in the least hostile way possible) If you can't understand why this is wrong - that your actions and views may not always be justified - it is not safe for you to be online. In tandem with this, don't engage with upsetting things. Delete your discourse blog. Trust me - it's better to spend your energy on things that are actually fun and positive.
In summary: Stay anonymous. Keep private information private. Curate your online experience. Stay out of 18+ spaces as a minor. Be careful with who you trust, and treat people how you want to be treated. And while you do all this? Have fun! Remember, the internet (probably) isn't going anywhere. If you need a break, take it. Be kind to yourself - and others. The more people do this, the safer we all can use the internet.
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mia-martian · 1 year ago
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I wish there was a way to tell minors to be careful and back off of some content.
I know how it is- literally my whole generation has experienced growing up with the internet to some capacity. I grew up with completely uncensored internet, and the reality is that it traumatized me. Because the things I liked had adults interacting with it and making adult content.
And now, there are adults and content farms making traumatizing content diRECTLY targeting kids. Which has happened before, but now I feel like it has increased. I worry a lot for the kids and teens online nowadays.
To any young people that might be reading;
It doesn't matter if "gore doesn't scare you" or how desensitized you may be. When you put yourself in an online space that isn't made with you or your best intentions in mind, you are going to get hurt. You are going to get scrutinized. You're going to see things you aren't meant to and shouldn't see. Being desensitized isn't a strength, it's a result of repeated trauma.
Interact with people your age. If you are not the target demographic for something, tread with caution or just don't interact with it at all.
If you see ANYTHING or ANYONE that makes you uncomfortable, it's okay to just report it, block them, and move on. Don't linger on what makes you uncomfortable or disturbs you. Not for ANY reason.
You don't always have to be an advocate. It's okay to curate your own online experience and focus on what brings you joy. You don't have to constantly think about every issue going on in the world or online. You have to rest before you can act. It's not immoral to choose your mental health over whatever internet drama or controversies or real-world issues may be going on. When things are out of your control, doing your best is more than enough, and stepping away isn't a crime.
Take breaks. For the love of god, try to take breaks. It's hard enough being young as is.
And pLEASE do NOT follow me. Everything else I post is with an adult audience in mind. I'm just some dumbass in my 20's, and I'm still figuring out whatever the hell IM supposed to be about.
Just heed my warnings, and may our paths cross in a later date. Or something cheese like that.
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trannyradfem · 1 month ago
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I seriously can't fucking believe the people on this website sometimes I swear to fucking GOD ugh.
I was visiting my grandpa in hospice!! grieving... Sometimes, a block is just a block. and not about you.
Like, please! For your own sake, even. Don't take them that personally. There is no shortage of people who disagree with me on this site, and I'm open to discussion, but I don't have the resources to fully entertain discource with every single person I interact with. Especially as this blog surprisingly grows more popular than any blog I've ever had. I did NOT see that coming. It's absolutely nothing personal.
If you're fighty about it, or I see other comments by you-- after I've interacted-- that indicate you're going to be hateful or cruel back at me, then yeah, I probably will block you. And honestly I feel more validated in my block after being shown said person saying "no debate is a TRA tactic" and "TRA trolls infiltrating radblr" when describing what I did. It's dehumanizing, acting like we can't possibly be genuine. So no, I don't want to interact with you. I do not genuinely have the energy for that.
Do the same-- curate your internet experience more, seriously, it has such a positive impact on your online experiences, and in no way waters down your radfem beliefs. sometimes posts and threads are just not worth ur time. And there is genuinely research out there on how the things you view and scroll on social media drastically influence the way you think and feel in very subtle ways that can compound over time. Seeing shit you vehemently disagree with that upsets you to that extent on repeat would have a negative impact on anyone's psyche.
Activism should be much more than just Tumblr anyways, yes?
Anyways. For anyone who's followed me, some venty updates under the cut. Sorry I haven't been around or checking notifications. I keep telling myself that I'm going to check every single one of them because I truly do appreciate the interactions and love talking with y'all, but lately I've been stretched thin and on heavy pain meds most of the time. And it's been months, even years for some of you, and the list just keeps growing longer.
I don't know when I'll get better, and it's scary. I've been sick and getting sicker for a long time now, and a lot of it is indeed from the childhood abuse and what they did to my body. But there's things happening that those factors doesn't explain, and given what I know about how the nervous system works, it might not be a great diagnosis. I love y'all and hope y'all forgive me for not being active on here. If I somehow recover I will be more responsive, promise.
I've become wheelchair bound, I'm out of work on medical leave, and every single day I feel like I'm fucking dying from my back spasms. My docs don't know what's wrong with me and I'm fucking terrified for my life after this election. My friend's parent tried to strangle her and we're trying to move her into our place to get her out of there. I have the equivalent of a full semester of revamped medical coding content to learn before I return to work. I'm not ready to lose Papa.
I have. So fucking much on my plate. I am. so tired. vhhbvghn. and I'm running out of money and my debt is catching up to me. I feel so fucking stupid now for buying a vacation plan back when I was healthier because holy shit I can't even leave the house now. The monthly payments are suffocating being out of work.
I worked so hard to build my credit score I'm so scared to lose everything I've worked so hard for. I want to be a doctor so badly, I'm already a licensed professional!! But you can't get hired as a doctor if your credit score is fucked!!! You can't get housing if your credit score is fucked... If I ever had to go back to homeless sex work I think I'd just kill myself. I don't want that, I'm not a suicidal teen anymore, like. FUCK. I want to do something meaningful with my life, I want to make this world a better place.
Today, after picking my brain on my career and the ideas I have to fix the medical industrial complex, a doctor told me I have more experience (wrt how the medical system works from several different angles) than most DOCTORS have and I was stunned. Like I squealed out a "thank you..!" and just clammed up.
That meant so fucking much to me. I feel like I have so much potential and being disabled and sick is just so fucking frustrating. Like holy fuck I'm on the right track, there are doctors that barely know me who are impressed with the very little I've been able to accomplish. Like, I gotta keep pushing forward, surviving wasn't all for naught. It's a bit of hope for me.
My nerve ablation is coming up soon, I can't wait. It's been 7 long years of that compression fracture bullshit. I'm so ready to be able to stand and exercise again.
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vampvelvet · 7 months ago
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not to sound mean but i wonder how many people who say things like "you must agree with my niche and radical political take or else we cant be friends/unfollow me" actually, like, get outside. like by all means, sure, youre allowed to choose your friends, and youre allowed to curate your online experince, thats fine. but eventually you might find yourself in an echo chamber that does nothing but make you feel more depressed and harsh towards the world.
i feel that alienating people who are already on your side politically because of your narrow sense of whats right and wrong will lead to weak connections and personal unfulfillment. an individual's beliefs are much more nuanced, emotional, and informed by personal experience than we give credit for. what do you gain from telling someone that if they dont agree with, like, assassination or something, that theyre a bad person and should never interact with you?
its self isolating, echo chambering, group thinking, nihilistic, and probably makes your life more stressful to put people in categories like this. people in the real world do not act like this.
talk to people in different demographics than yourself, please. and live your life in the real world.
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spirit-praise-and-beauty · 9 months ago
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I’m gonna say something controversial
I do not give a flying fuck what you ship. I am not the thought police. I am not trying to repress media, I am not trying to censor anyone by not wanting self-or-otherwise-proclaimed proshippers to interact with me.
What I want is for people so entrenched in ship discourse to stop telling me as a victim I am wrong to be upset and uncomfortable when people bring ships that make me uncomfortable into my space.
Listen. People can do as they will with their free time regarding fictional characters—they are simply objects after all, writers are the people who give them life, they do not think for themselves. But at the same time, I do not like to be reminded of the shit that happened to me.
I am not proship. I am not antiship or whatever either. I do not take part in this discourse. I just do not like being told I am wrong because of my experiences making me averse to certain things, and for whatever reason, some people really like to try to lay on the whole “you should be okay with this actually” narrative extremely thick.
No. I should not. You do not have the right to tell me how to curate my online experience, you do not have the right to remove my autonomy in that way. The moment you start preaching to me about how it’s fine because they’re fictional as an excuse to keep talking at me about something that viscerally upsets me because it reminds me of my own past? You are the villain here.
It’s like any other issue with consent. Tag your shit and drop the subject if someone says “hey please don’t talk about this around me”. Thanks
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the-lonelyshepherd · 8 months ago
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I can’t tell if you’re getting hate right now or not (I can’t really tell online when people are so please bear with me). But if you are, and if you’re sad for any reason. I wanted to give you something to cheer you up somehow if you are. So this oraniglly was gonna be a joke where I tried to drew one of your silly cowboy story thingys horse, the airbud lottie au (or like the dog it is. I forgot the name of the breed) and then you pfp. And say something along the lines of “sorry to break it too you but I’m pretty sure your just a horse, a dog and mouse/bug” (I can’t tell what your pfp was but I tried) and then have a picture of it underneath. But because I put it off. And now you might be getting hate, I wanted to give you something to cheer you up if you are??? So anywho
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I could have tried harder but I was using my phone which is a pain. I just noticed the horse doesn’t have ears but because I’ve already typed this whole thing out it’s just not gonna have them. Anywho I hope you are doing okay though! And have a good rest of your day/night :)
LMAOOOO I LOVE THIS SO MUCH…… can i put it on my pinned please please please 🙏🙏🙏
and yeah i’m… some people are reasonable (appreciate it!) and some of them are just being dicks that don’t know how to block tags. like dawg curate your experience! not my responsibility
but overall we live we laugh we love i’m really not that concerned bc i stand by my opinions and honeskty i think it’s just some people having a bad day.
anyways!! i love love love this so much. and and my pfp is a really badly drawn version of the Mechanical Hound from Fahrenheit 451 :)
have a great day/night this actually was so fun and i love it so so much. thank you!! 🫶🫶
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