#When I listen to Stella on repeat i know i have like different reasons why i'm in that mood

[icharchivist]

weirdest mood ever to just. put scenario liar on repeat for the day.

I don’t know what kind of days do that but here I am.

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

OKAY listen a SKY x reader smut👀👀👀👀👀… pleasee

Pairing: Sky x reader

Part one (This part can be a standalone, but part one is more like the intro to all of this)

A/N - Just wanted to add that Sky, as well as the rest of the characters are 18+ in all my fics. I mean, the entire series should have been college centered with young adults. Also, I don't really do smut, so consider this a one in a million.

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“You do not affect me!” She barely gets the words out before he closes the distance between them, pressing his index finger to her lips. Tentatively, he traces her cupid bow, then her lower lip as if he’s searching something in the smallest of nooks of the soft flesh.

“Yeah?” A part of Y/n feels self-conscious with the close proximity, wondering if he can see the growing zit on her chin or if he could notice the dark circles around her eyes she had been trying to cover up with a ton of make-up but failed. 

“Are you sure”, Sky whispers and Y/N gulps. 

No matter what she says, she couldn’t pretend. Another part of her, a deeper part, hoped he would stop this torture where her heart thumped so strongly when he neared her and just kiss her already, ending the intoxicating desire to have him closer than possible. And just as Y/N gives in, gravitating toward him, slowly standing on her tiptoes, Sky takes two steps back, making her nearly fall in his sudden need for space.

“That’s what I thought.” Sky’s smirks. Not only is he now aware Y/N can be swayed by his charms, it was giving him inner delight. He was savoring the moment. “Come along”, Sky instructs as he heads toward the dorms without even looking back, confident enough that she will follow.

And with a groan she does. She follows him inside the dorms, into his room without a word and she tells herself it’s because she wants to tell him off and put him in his place because she despises Sky and Riven and all the guys who think they’re so special that every girl falls for them if they look their way. She wanted to show him she hates him, yet when he grabs her by the hips and pulls her onto the bed, she finds herself laying on her back and with her heart in her throat.

“How’s this for you?” Sky whispers and she sighs.

“Why are we here?” 

Throwing his arm over her hip lazily, Sky brought her closer to him, hearing her breath speed up at the proximity, but so did his.

He didn’t love her, he desired her most of all. He desired her gaze on him as desperately as the air he needs to breath. He desired her skin against his as the food he’d need to live. He desired her lips to speak his name in ecstasy more than the water as he thirsted for her more than anything else in this world.

And in his desire for her he had lost himself entirely. He had lost his cold exterior, becoming putty in her hands. He had lost his ruthlessness toward her, directing it to any and all who’d harm her. He had lost his resolve to stay away simply so he’d give into her with all he is.

So with that desire and the loss of him, he hated her for all of it. He hated her with burning passion. He hated her so much it consumed him.

Or so he told himself so. For in the end, he did nothing to push her away.

He couldn’t.

Not now. Not ever.

Logic demanded him to stop acting the way he is, but his entire logic went out the window the night he met her and for some reason, he found a fairy who wanted nothing to do with him. But in time, he’s figured out that maybe, just maybe it was a front. She did want him, almost as badly as he wanted her. 

He’s no longer a part of the living anymore either. She’s become his cornerstone and no matter how hard he tried to deny it, it didn’t change. It’s become factual.

“Sky”, She whispers in the haze his closeness brought, making his lips spread widely.

“I’ve been waiting forever for you to say my name.” Sky is not ashamed to admit to it. She never once called him Sky, it was always ‘Blondie’. 

“I held off on it…it makes us too cozy for comfort. Blurs the lines a little.” Her hand presses forward into the bicep of the arm around her, her teeth capturing her bottom lip once more.

“Oh, you have no idea what you do to me at all.” Sky leans in, his nose brushing hers as all pretense falls. He no longer has the strength to stay away and she doesn’t want him to. It’s been seven months since they met and every moment since then has been filled with mutual desire and need to fulfill their fantasies, buried under superficial excuses of mutual disdain and hate. 

She may have been the ‘Ice Queen’, but she’s certainly melted in his hands.

Her heart races as she glances between his lips and his eyes, knowing what he’s thinking. She’s a virgin, barely experienced in sex and relationships and knowing he must have bedded girls who have not only experience but incredible looks had her doubting her own skill and retreating. Stella and Bloom were quite beautiful, Y/N found herself intimidated by her predecessors. 

“Hey, hey. What did I do?” Sky wondered, his voice unusually soft and understanding.

“I just…I’m not sure what’s happening right now.” She admits sheepishly, finding Sky turn to his other side. Just when she thinks he’s angry and wants to leave her, he turns on the nightlight and comes back to her side with a genuine smile on his lips.

“I was moments away from indulging in my fantasy of feeling your lips against mine.” He responds so casually that Y/N coughs, nearly choking on her own spit.

“You’re not a virgin, are you?” He’s really not holding back, she thinks, nodding shyly, her lip finding its spot back between her teeth.

“I thought you were going to just kiss me!” Exclaiming, she giggled, finding it hard to maintain eye contact.

“You and I both know that neither of us would stop at a kiss, no matter how hard we try.” Sky cocks his left eyebrow, noticing her wandering gaze slowly fixing on him again.

“I’m not experienced like you and I have no clue what to do, so stop looking at me all sexy like that and let me breathe!” She huffs during her little freak out before sitting up in frustration and he sat up, chuckling at her behavior.

“What’s so funny?!” She pushed his right shoulder lightly, annoyed with him. There she is, opening up like never before and he laughs at her.

“The fact that you think I’d judge you for that or the fact that you think you and I having sex would ever compare to the girls I had before. They were right in that time, but I wasn’t...You and I are different.” He pulls his shirt off and then laid down, perching himself up on his right elbow so his damn abs were visible in all their perfection and Y/N could barely contain herself.

“And I’d be what exactly? How different are we?” She pushes for answers he looked ready to provide her with, her heart jumping nervously in her chest.

“Something I’d like to repeat over and over again. I wouldn’t oppose to call it…” He paused, licking his lips. “Dating.” He finished, looking at her wide eyes.

“You’re asking me to be with you? Like, exclusive?” She raised an eyebrow, shifting in her spot so she’s turned to him. “We could barely stand each other five minutes ago!” She reminds him. 

“I guess so. But…I have to be honest with you.” He ran his left hand through his hair, moving it out of his face. “I have always liked you. I think I could love you. But my life is a mess, especially since Andreas came back and Saul was arrested. I can’t promise I’ll be the perfect boyfriend or that I won’t do something stupid and make you worry all the time.” The painfully honest confession had her frowning, but her desire for him eclipsed her thinking.

“Okay.” She whispered, letting out a dash of air she held while he stated his terms.

Y/N sighs and leans up, pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek. Sky doesn’t move, letting her take the lead if that’s what she needs to feel comfortable. He’s actually still in shock she’s okay with what he had to offer her, which isn’t much. He could get in trouble and locked up by the next day, have her in danger as well and she accepted that without a second thought.

Sky looks as she lays back down, her hair flowing down her left shoulder as gravity settles in. He brushes his nose against hers. Slowly, he leans down, just centimeters above her face. It’s painfully slow, building up the moment and her chest rises and falls with a quicker pace as he takes his time in the sweet torture. His lips are ghosting over hers before he tilts his head and starts kissing down her jaw.

She hums, eyes closing with Sky’s movements.

“I’m going to make you feel so good.” He whispers as her hand reaches down his abdomen, lightly tracing the outlines of his abs. He moves his hand down, reaching for the hem of her shirt, urging her to tug it off.

Y/N sits up and tugs her shirt off, exposing her lacy black bra and Sky sends her a smirk as she shyly groans.

“This is thanks to Stella, okay? This is completely unplanned.”

Sky eyes her, but the smirk disappears as she pushes up and wraps her hands around the back of his neck, pulling his lips to hers. His hands go down to either side of her head as she lays back and pulls him down with her. The kiss deepens and she moans into Sky’s mouth as he rolls his hips against hers, his hardened length pressing between her legs already. She’s felt more in this make out session than ever before and she couldn’t contain her excitement about going further with him.

Sky detaches his lips from hers only to reattach them to the sensitive skin of her neck, learning quickly where she’s most sensitive to his gentle touch. Her eyes close as she tilts her head, giving him more access. He moves one of the straps of her bra aside, enough to start sucking a small mark close to her collarbone. A pleasure-filled sigh falls from her lips as her hand comes up to Sky’s back, lightly pressing her nails into his skin. A low breath falls from Sky’s mouth with the sensation, but he continues to leave the hickey, running his tongue over the spot once he’s done to soothe the skin. He wanted to mark her, for his satisfaction alone but judging by the sound she made, it was very much mutual pleasure.

She pushes up, pulling the bra off herself, wanting to move faster, growing impatient.

A smirk comes to Sky’s face while he wraps his arms around her, bowing his head to press open mouth kisses around her collarbones and down her chest until he reaches her well rounded breasts that he found alluring for months and now he finally had full access, nothing holding him back. One of his hands comes from behind her and plays with one of her nipples, getting a moan for his effort, one of her hands going back to the bed to hold herself up while Sky’s mouth starts working on the other nipple.

With her eyes closed as she begins to lose herself in the sensation his lips cause, her hips start to buck forward into Sky’s on instinct.

She pulls Sky’s head from her breast, bringing his lips to hers before pulling him down with her and pushing his shoulder for her to get on top. His hands instinctively go to her hips, digging his fingers into the soft tissue over the bone. He loves that she’s got some meat on her bones, giving him something to squeeze and hold onto while his mind goes haywire.

Y/N follows the same pattern Sky did to her neck, satisfied once she’s left her mark on his skin. She kisses her way down his chest, slow enough that it’s becoming teasing. She’s not doing it on purpose, but Sky’s shaking his head and biting his tongue in order to stop himself from groaning out loud.

Once she reached the hem of his briefs, she slips her thumbs into the waistband, pulling them off and moving to allow him to kick them all the way off while she strips herself of her own underwear before kissing up his thighs and to his hip, around his pelvis and back up his chest, this time intentionally avoiding his twitching length.

She wasn’t sure what to do exactly, only knowing what she read in erotic novels and she was fairly certain they don’t count as proper research for sexual acts.

“Gonna tease me like that all night?” Sky’s voice is raw with lust as her lips meet his, feeling her core hovering over his length with every nerve in his body.

“If you’re going to look at me like that, I just might.” A cocky smirk comes to her face as she pulls away to meet his stare.

“Fuck no.” Sky growls, hands coming up to up her face, lips colliding with hers a little rougher than before and she can tell he’s aching for her.

“No more teasing, please.” He mutters against her lips, giving her confidence she’s been lacking.

Without saying a word, Sky reaches beside her and opens his nightstand drawer for a condom, feeling her smile against his lips. Her legs slightly giving out, she slides her folds against Sky’s length, inadvertently teasing him while he opens the condom and puts it in place with a few beads of sweat collecting on his chest.

Once ready, Sky turns them over, his head is against her collarbone, hers against the pillows. He lines his length up with her center, brushing his tip across her folds a few times before stopping entirely.

“You sure, love? We can still stop this.” Sky wants nothing more than to bury himself deep inside her, but he needs to make sure she’s alright with the way things are going. Before this night they were barely anything concrete and now he’s sweaty and his heart is pounding at the sight of her ready for him and he can’t mess this up by not being absolutely certain she wanted him just as badly as he wants her.

“Sky, please.” With hooded eyes, she’s the one pleading, her hands holding onto his arms for dear life as he slowly pushes into her the very moment he gets reassurance. He feels her fingers dig into his shoulders just as his dig into her hips.

He doesn’t move, opting to rest his forehead against hers, feeling her breath fan his face. Sky’s aware he’s bigger than most guys and this being her first time, he mentally face palmed for not preparing her more. He’s just so eager he couldn’t contain himself, but he managed to enter without issue, slowly filling her up inch by inch until he bottomed out, remaining still to let her adjust to his size before grinding into her.

“Are you okay?” He whispers, but she just nods, a breathless “Yeah” passing her lips.

His thrusts are met by her own hips moving on instinct, grunts and moans filling the air and become louder as he increases his pace. He feels himself getting closer, her clenching around him letting him know she’s not too far behind. He can tell by the expression of pure bliss and lust on her face and the pitch of her moans growing just to the sound he wished to get her to make that she’s getting close, so he takes a hand from her hip and presses his thumb to her clit. She jerks forward, a higher moan escaping her throat. His thumb is relentless, keeping its pace until she’s clenching around him and yelling his name, his own grunts and moans coming to an end when his movement turns jerky and he all but collapses on top of her.

Her heart pounds as her sweaty chest meets his head, giving him a perfect way to hear just what he has done to her. He presses a couple of lazy kisses on her chest, resituating on her, planting his feet on the bed but he doesn’t move, not yet.

“Sky”, She whispers, bringing a smile to his lips. Knowing he just felt her first orgasm and that he’s responsible put him on cloud nine. He barely held it together, never ever being the type to fall into a girl and remain there as she scratched the back of his neck like he just did, allowing her to touch him so intimately after sex.

“How do you feel? Are you okay?” He asks, barely lifting his head off her chest.

Most times, Sky wanted the girls to leave after sex, but now? He found himself torn between doing it again or falling asleep in her arms. Lucky for him, she decides for them.

“Very good.” She responds with a smile, nesting on his chest. 

“I really think you and I are the real deal.” Sky admits and Y/N holds her breath, wondering how much time they spent in denial when they could have been together all along.

“I hope so.”

[mynameisnowwyrm]

Spoiler warning

TL;DR horrible adaptation, but very enjoyable on it’s own

(Also just wanted to say I was so sure I was going to hate this bc of what’s different but they changed so much the cartoon and the live action are barely connected in my head)

Okay my review will be split up into two parts: fate: the winx saga as an adaptation and as a standalone work

As an adaptation:

0/10. Maybe 0.5 if I’m being generous.

The things that were unchanged from winx club:

There are characters named Bloom, Stella, Musa, Aisha, Sky and Riven

Aisha, Bloom, Stella and Sky resemble their cartoon counterparts

Riven is an asshole

Bloom is a dumbass

Magic exists

The specialists exist

Main characters go to schools for magic and specialists respectively

The dragon flame is a thing

Witches exist

Other than that it’s a completely different show. The plot vaguely resembles season 1 of winx club only in that Bloom is trying to discover her true heritage. Musa, who is supposed to of East Asian descent is not, Flora was not included and in her place is a different character with similar powers, Tecna was excluded entirely ( I believe this was to distance the show from the futuristic elements of winx club and focus only on fantasy, which doesn’t make sense since they changed Musa’s powers ).

The magic system was changed. Fairies don’t on the regular transform since in the show the know-how to do so was lost, though Bloom does unlock the ability in the finale. Instead of each being a fairy of an individual concept, everyone’s powers ale element based, with Musa’s powers being changed to her being an empath. While this does feel more generic, it makes more sense from a world building perspective and I can see why they changed it.

The fashion is horrible. You will never be able to convince me teenagers dress like that. One of the reasons the original cartoon was enjoyable was all the colourful, fun clothing. The clothes feel dated and too mature for the characters, like I can see a twenty-something person in 2013 wear some of those outfits. It especially feels like a missed opportunity since 2000’s fashion is coming back into style.

The characterization of some of the characters compared to winx club was hit and miss. Riven was an ass and Bloom was impulsive and naive, which is accurate, but Stella, oh Stella was a disappointment. Stella was a jealous, manipulative bitch, which in context of her character backstory makes sense, but is so far from her original portrayal. Cartoon Stella was spoiled and at times self centered, but she was also genuinely kind, helpful and bubbly. To see her character take a 180 and become the all too familiar jealous ex archetype was upsetting.

Now, aaaaall that being said, I don’t believe we should judge this as an adaptation. They changed so much that it is quite literally a new story. So let’s see how it stands up on it’s own.

Summary, taken from the wiki

The series tells the story of Alfea, a fictional boarding school where teenagers study. The world inside this universe is not only magical and full of monsters, but it is also a world of real teenagers who do the most common things: make friends and enemies, go out and of course... fall in love. They are eager to find their place in this world. This universe is different from the one we have all known for a long time.

The attention is focused on a group of proud teens, also well-designed female characters. Sometimes they are heroines, sometimes weak girls. Sometimes they are friends, sometimes rivals. Of course, they are not perfect, but they are real. A group of girls who did not know each other until they are included in the same team inside a school that is strange to them. They will meet forces that are beyond their control and things they do not understand. But, throughout the series, they will find themselves, form an indestructible bond, and transform into powerful and strong girls, ready to change not only the supernatural world, but also ours.

Character summary:

Bloom is a newly discovered fairy from the human world who is attending Alfea college in the otherworld. There she meets her new roommates: chatty Terra, athletic Aisha, uptight Stella and stand-offish Musa. She also meets Sky, Stella’s ex, who is training as a specialist.Shortly before coming to Alfea, Bloom discovers she has magic powers by almost burning her house down and killing her parents. She is distraught over this and it is why she is eager to gain control of her powers.It is discovered that Bloom is a changeling, a barbaric practice where a fairy baby is exchanged with a human one. This leads Bloom on a quest to discover her true heritage.

Musa is an empath, she can feel the feelings of everyone around her. To shut them out and escape she listens to music through her headphones. This leads to her initially coming off as uncaring when Terra tries to get to know her better.

Terra is an earth fairy with a particular talent for making plants grow. She is very nice and chatty, eager to make friends, but not afraid to stand up for herself. She struggles with finding someone to like her and compares herself to “cool girl” Beatrix who has boys following after her.

Aisha is a water fairy who swims twice a day every day. She comes off a a good person who wants to make friends and do the right thing. She also tries to do everything in her power to protect her friends.

Stella is a light fairy and princess of Solaria, the realm in which Alfea resides. She is repeating her first year due to an event prior to season one where she lost control of her powers and blinded her best friend. She is very uptight due to her perfectionist mother and tries to exert control in every other area of her life, when this doesn’t work, e.g. when someone flirts with her on-again-off-again boyfriend she gets jealous and causes trouble. She is also generally rude to the people around her.

Sky is a specialist legacy and Stella’s on-again-off-again boyfriend who has an interest in Bloom. His father was a famous specialist and he was raised by his father’s best friend.

Riven is Sky’s roommate, best friend and a genuine asshole. He insults and antagonizes everyone around him and gets involved with Beatrix. He seems dissatisfied with the life of a specialist.

Beatrix is an air fairy with a lightning powers. She seems mysterious and looks to be the villain of the season. She has enlisted the help of Riven and Dane.

Dane is a first year specialist who first seems to be friendly with Terra but gets sidetracked after spending time with Riven and Beatrix.

What I didn’t like:

The world building is sparse and the magic system is generic. I feel like things could have been better expanded upon. Throughout the show they bring up archaic fairy magic but it’s never really explained how that’s different from current fairy magic.

The interactions between Riven and Dane come off as a bit queerbait-y although they could be setting things up for a second season.

Everyone is constantly so rude towards Terra. Even her supposed friends are mean to her. What gives?

Stella was constantly rude to everyone but by the end they are all the best of friends when she really hasn’t changed much. Also Stella being the jealous controlling ex archetype and not enough people calling her out on her bullshit.

What I did like:

For a Netflix teen drama there is surprisingly little sex between the teenagers. This might be subjective but it was refreshing for me.

Again subjective but I could definitely relate to Bloom’s antisocial teen flashbacks

Beatrix was a fun villain

Though the story might be a little generic, I felt it was compelling throughout. I genuinely wanted to know what happened next.

The story was well paced. It never felt like anything was dragging along

Overall:

The show was definitely enjoyable to watch. There is a lot of room for improvement. It sometimes felt like different plot lines were unconnected and the costume choices leave a lot to be desired. Aside from that they set up a solid story and likable characters (some of whom I love love and love to hate) which I very much want to see further developed in the future. As a stand-alone work 6/10

[imkylotrash]

Recipe For Disaster

Pairing: Riven x reader

Request: A light fairy from Earth that started already in the second year bc of her potential, but do classes with the first year too. They become friends and start dating. The faires are being terrible to her, only the winx help and he doesn't know. When he sees her crying in the dining hall when the faires are being mean bc of her talent, relationship and origin (like "What he sees in her?), he stands for her and the winx too. Anonymous

A/N Thank you for motivating me when tumblr deleted my first draft of this. It kept me going when I just wanted to call it night and go to sleep, haha. 

Tagging: @grey-girl​ @bitchwhytho​  

Starting at Alfea when you know absolutely no one is hard. Add starting as a second-year student because of your powers and you have a recipe for disaster. No one wants to befriend the freak who was clever enough to skip a year and it gets very lonely having no one to talk to. It takes you weeks to find your people. It happens accidentally one day when you ask Terra for directions to the green house and she instantly starts talking your ear off. Something you’ve grown to love by now. Terra introduces you to the rest of the girls and finally it feels like you belong somewhere. Through them you meet Riven. The bad boy who’s remained ignorant to all the rumours flying around at Alfea in turn making him unaware of what people think of you. It’s part of the reason why you love hanging out with him. It becomes a little bubble where you don’t have to deal with the rest of the fairies. One day he kisses you out of the blue admitting that he’s been wanting to do that for a while and it melts your heart. After that the two of you become inseparable.

“Hey handsome,” you say coming up behind him. He sneaks his arm around you instantly making you blush. Even though you’ve been together for a while now you’re still getting used to his carefree PDA. He doesn’t care who’s watching or what they think.

“Get a room,” Sky laughs but Riven only has eyes for you right now.

“Hi baby,” he says quietly clearing intending for it to be a moment just between the two of you. Without taking his eyes off of you, he flips Sky the finger.

“Are you busy?” you ask relishing in his undivided attention.

“I promised Sky I’d do some practice with him. But I’ll see you for dinner?” You nod thinking it’ll give you plenty of time to catch up on some reading.

“Perfect,” he says giving you a quick peck on the cheek before disappearing with Sky. You head straight for the library where you get a few good hours of reading in before deciding to call it a night. When you exit the library, you notice a group of fairies standing outside.

“If it isn’t Y/N. Did Riven get tired of you yet?” You’re not sure what they’re intention is but you’re not going to stand and listen to this. When you try to walk past them, they block you keeping you right where you are.

“Tell me just how you’ve gotten Riven so bewitched by you. Because clearly, it’s not your looks,” the first girl says venom dripping from the words.

“Maybe she has experience keeping men in the bed,” someone snickers. You’re not going to cry. You repeat that mantra over and over again in your head determined not to give them what they want but they’re bringing up all your insecurities and it feels horrible.

“Maybe you’re just another project. Everyone knows he’s had his share of them,” the first girl says with a horrible smile. It’s the final drop. You can’t fight the tears falling.

“Well, I heard it’s because she has great taste in music.” You look over to find Musa standing there with the rest of the girls.

“Actually, I heard it’s because she’s literally the nicest person alive,” Terra argues making you smile. This right here is the reason why they’re your best friends.

“Well, I heard that it’s because he loves her.” You spin around to find Riven watching you. There’s murder in his eyes as he looks at the girls surrounding you.

“You love me?”

“Yeah, I do. How could I not?” he says walking past the girls and straight to you never breaking eye contact. Gently, he dries away your tears and place a kiss on your forehead.

“I love you too,” you say feeling a new wave of tears hit you but this time they’re happy tears. It’s the first time he’s said those words to you.

“Now get lost,” he says looking at the fairies still standing around you. He doesn’t let go of you as they hurry off.

“They should be grateful I don’t know their names,” Riven says clearly still upset. But you couldn’t care about what they said because you have the girls and Riven and you couldn’t ask for me.

“How long has this been going on?” he asks looking down at you. You’re about to tell him that it’s a one-time thing when Musa beats you to it.

“Ever since she started. They’re jealous assholes who thinks degrading Y/N will make them feel better.” You’ve never heard Musa curse but you like the fact that she’s willing to do it for you. Even though you’re not sure how you feel about Riven knowing the truth now. You don’t want it to change anything or make him think that you’re not worth it.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice is soft - free of judgement.

“When I found out you didn’t know how other people felt about me, I guess I just really liked the fact that you didn’t know. It was an escape that allowed me to feel normal. And I worried you would feel differently about me if you knew.” You’re scared to look at him as you admit the truth you’ve been hiding for a while now but once again Riven proves to be the best boyfriend one could ever ask for.

“I don’t care what other people think. I love you and that’s all that matters. I’m here for you,” he says kissing you.

“We’re here too, you know,” Musa says with a smile.

“Yeah. I know we don’t kiss you and stuff, but we’re here if you need us,” Stella laughs and you can’t help but laugh a little yourself. You open your arms and they all attack you with hugs. That night you have a slumber party with the girls and Riven. Sky even shows up after hearing what happened telling you that he spoke to Silva and it won’t happen again. It’s at that moment you realise that you’ve gotten this amazing family at Alfea and while you have no idea how you got so lucky you know that you’re grateful.

“Thank you for being there for me tonight,” you say. Riven kisses your temple once again making you blush.

“We’re always ready to kick some fairy ass if they don’t treat you right,” Terra says trying to sound all tough. She fails making you all laugh but it’s the thought that counts.

[girlinlotsoffandoms]

Forged by Fire - Chapter 11

It's been a long, hard road but Severide is finally back at 51.

Read on AO3

“We the jury find the defendant guilty on all charges. “

“Jimmy Conrad, I sentence you to life in prison with no possibility of parole.”

Those words played on repeat in Severide’s mind. It had been exactly one month since Conrad’s trial and sentencing; the judge’s words and the bang of a gavel effectively closing one of the worst chapters of his life.

He remembered that day so clearly. With Stella on one side, his mom and sister on the other and all of 51, Intelligence and several Gaffney staff members in the rows behind him, Severide sat through a weeklong trial. He listened as his time with Conrad was rehashed for the judge and jury. The prosecutor and those called to testify expanded on the injuries Severide received at the hands of Jimmy Conrad and his recovery process while simultaneously singing his praises and recounting his commendations and skills as both a firefighter and an arson investigator.

It was a long, tiring, and emotional week but justice had prevailed, and Conrad was going to be in prison for the rest of his life.

And Severide could finally move on with his.

After more than a week in the hospital, four rounds of hyperbaric therapy, weekly department (and Stella) mandated therapy, and more physical therapy then his body could handle at times, Severide was finally ready for his first shift back at 51—almost 3 ½ months to the day of his kidnapping. He’d been waiting for this day for a long time, but to say he wasn’t nervous would be a lie.

Nerves were not something regularly associated with the Squad Lieutenant, and he couldn’t pinpoint an exact reason why he was nervous; he just was. It felt like his first day as a firefighter, back when he had to prove himself.

As the son of one of the greats, and someone born and raised surrounded by CFD white shirts, Severide always had eyes on him. He knew those eyes were going to be on him again, waiting and watching to make sure he was ready to come back and able to do his job. Never one to balk or break under pressure, Severide was ready to put an end to any doubts people still had. And today was the day to do just that.

“You ready for today?” Stella asked as she poured coffee into a to-go mug. She walked it over and sat it down in front of Severide.

He thanked Stella with a smile and wrapped one of his hands around the cup. “Once I get through this meeting with Grissom.” Severide grumbled unhappily.

“I told you to stop putting it off and avoiding him.”

Severide looked up at Stella with a playfully annoyed smirk. He knew she was right, and she knew she was right, but that didn’t mean he wanted to admit it. “I think he feels guilty, but I didn’t have the energy or patience to deal with it.”

“And now you do?” Stella asked, leaning against the counter. Patience, especially related to anything bureaucratic, was not something she typically associated with the man in front of her.

“I’ve been cleared by two different doctors, I attended all my required therapy appointments, and I passed my psych eval with flying colors. This talk with him is the only thing standing between me and being back at 51, I’ll fake it if I have to.” 

 “I don’t think it’ll come to that,” Stella chuckled. She leaned closer to Severide, mimicking his position, and laid one of her hands on his arm. “You’re ready to come back. I know that, you know that, Grissom and the rest of the CFD know that. Just let him say his peace and apologize if he needs too, and then you’ll be back at 51.”

Stella finished her pep talk with a smile and, once again, Severide was reminded just how thankful he was for her. She had been his biggest supporter and encourager during his recovery. She stayed with him every single day in the hospital, went with him to every therapy session and follow up appointment, and stayed by his side throughout the entire trial. Most importantly though, Stella’s love and support never wavered—not even when Severide’s frustration peaked and his patience thinned during his recovery. Stella was with him every step of the way.

It only made him love her even more.

Severide leaned forward and kissed her, closing the gap between them. When they broke apart, Severide smiled at her. “Thank you…for everything.”

Stella's smile grew. Her eyes shone brightly, filled with love for the man in front of her. “You’ve got this, Kelly Severide.”

Severide laughed. That was just the confidence boost he needed.

He kissed Stella again, then grabbed his stuff and headed out. It was now or never.  

                                            … … …

An hour later, Severide found himself walking the familiar path from his car to the app floor. It felt monumental yet so incredibly normal at the same time.

Cruz, Capp, and Tony were sitting at the Squad table, Brett and Stella standing a little bit behind them and a few others were milling about. Cruz was tinkering with his Slamigan and Capp and Tony were doing crosswords when they noticed Severide walking towards their table, bunker gear on and his duffle bag slung over his shoulder.  

“There he is!” Cruz announced loudly, drawing everyone’s attention. He abandoned the Slamigan and looked at his Lieutenant. “Return of the king!”

The Squad guys stood up and started clapping, whooping, and hollering. It was playful and teasing, but it was exactly the welcome Severide needed. The others around started clapping and cheering as well; everyone was happy to see Severide back where he belonged.

As soon as he sat his bag down in his (desperately missed) green recliner, the guys were there, surrounding him with back pats and fist bumps. They were soon joined by Casey, Stella, Brett, and the others on shift. Even Boden and the civilian employees in the office came out to welcome the Lieutenant back.   

Severide’s welcome back soon moved from the app floor into the common room and kitchen where Gallo had a breakfast feast already cooked and ready. Those who had spoken with Severide already started grabbing plates and settling in to eat, wanting to get some nutrients in before their first call of the day, while the others lingered behind to talk. It wasn’t long before they all joined the others in the line for food though.

“Severide,” Boden called, getting the Lieutenant’s attention. The man in question walked over to the Chief. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m good to go Chief,” Severide swore. His voice was strong and sure.

Boden regarded the man in front of him. He’d been through so much over the years, especially the last few months, that anyone else would probably break. Not Kelly Severide though; no matter what was thrown at him, he always came out stronger than before.

“It’s good to have you back Kelly,” Boden said. His gruff voice failing to hide the emotion behind his words.

“It’s good to be back Chief.”

Boden gave him a friendly slap on the back and the two made their way to the breakfast line with the others.

                                           … … …

They were halfway through breakfast when the bells tolled, calling Squad 3 out for a rescue assist. The Squad guys immediately jumped up and headed out to the truck.

Like a well-oiled machine, the four men fell into step with one another, piled into the truck, and headed out with lights and sirens blaring.

As they drove to the scene and listened as dispatch gave them more information on the rescue, Cruz yelled over the sirens. “Look at that Lieutenant! The city of Chicago is welcoming you back!”

Capp chuckled. “We didn’t get a chance to give you a refresher at the station so if you have any questions on where anything is just let us know.”

Cruz and Tony laughed along with Capp as they rolled onto the scene. As they climbed out of the truck, still laughing, Severide rolled his eyes and tried to act annoyed, but the smile on his face gave him away. “Yeah, yeah. How about you three get to work? Or did Copeland let you get rusty these past few months?”

“We’ll show you rusty!” Capp yelled playfully as he, Cruz, and Tony started unloading the equipment they’d need.

Severide watched them work together flawlessly as he walked over to the Engine on scene. He shook his head and tried to school his features, needing to be serious, but it did little to stop the feelings bubbling up inside of him.

He missed this, and he was so happy to be back.

[monotonous-minutia]

Brief history of Les contes d’Hoffmann edits (the short short version) + Summaries!

Kudos to anyone who gets through all of this, but I recommend at least reading the first part if you plan on watching this opera next week for Operablr Pride Month. It will help you find/choose a version to watch!

For the differences in the summaries to make sense, we need a little background info.

The very very very short version of why there are so many edits:

Offenbach died before he could finish the score. Most of the prologue, Olympia, and Antonia acts were done; the Giulietta act and the Epilogue were not, which is why those are the parts that vary the most across the different edits. Additionally, much of the material that varies belongs to Nicklausse/the Muse. The reason for this is that the mezzo in this role cancelled last minute, and the replacement didn’t have time to learn the entire role before the performance, so the Muse monologues, Violin Aria, and much of Nicklausse’s dialogue were cut; the ending monologue was replaced with spoken speech. Since the premiere—which is another story for another time—several conductors, directors, and music scholars have attempted to reconstruct the opera based on Offenbach’s drafts and notes, and in some cases their personal preferences. Additional shoutout to good old Guiraud, who finished a lot of the orchestration that Offenbach didn’t get to, which is some of the only stuff to survive most edits.

Also, I should say: apparently in addition to there being no definitive edition of this opera, there’s no definitive history either. I swear every book/article I read about it says something different so this is the best I could do. So if there are any inaccuracies, apologies in advance.

Now there are a lot of people that have tinkered with this opera, but there are a few main ones that compiled what are dubbed “critical editions,” because they did a bunch of research and a lot of people end up using edits based on what they did.

In chronological order, those critical edits are:

Choudens: The shortest version, and one most people are familiar with.

Oeser (1): Longer with a lot of missing material added, also fairly well-known.

Oeser (2): Even longer with a ton of new stuff added! (My personal fave but pretty rare)

Kaye/Keck: Uses some of the material rediscovered by Oeser, but also adds a ton of other stuff, particularly in the Giulietta act, as well as re-orchestrating significant portions. Not many of these either.

and apparently there’s another one called “OG Offenbach” or something like that but as far as I can tell there haven’t been any recordings of it or much about what it looks like, but from what I gather it’s fairly similar to that last one, with some adjustments based on yet more new-old material discovered.

And, of course, every single production I’ve ever seen/heard puts its own spin on things! So while most have the general formats as seen below, literally no two are exactly alike.

A bit more detail on the versions:

Choudens

This is one of the first people to edit the material after it was butchered for the world premiere. It’s the short version of the opera with the most material missing, though to be fair he did improve upon what it had been before. His is (unfortunately) the edit most people are familiar with:

Prologue: Chorus of Spirits of wine and beer. Lindorf monologues about stealing Stella from Hoffmann. Students party in the tavern and ask Hoffmann to tell a stoy; he sings the famous "Ballad of Klein-Zach." When taunted by Lindorf about his love life, Hoffmann decides to tell everyone the tales of his Three Great Loves. Act I: Olympia. Hoffmann is in love with the “daughter” of Spalanzani, his science professor, unaware that she is a robot. Coppélius sells Hoffmann magic glasses that make him believe Olympia is a real human, despite Nicklausse's insistence that she is a mechanical doll. Olympia is presented to the guests at her coming-out party; they marvel over her. Hoffmann serenades her and dances with her, but Coppélius arrives to take her apart, and Hoffmann realizes he’s been in love with a robot the whole time. Act II: Giulietta. Choudens put the Giluietta act second instead of Antonia. At a party, Nicklausse and Giulietta sing the famous Barcarolle; Hoffmann counters with an aria about how love is futile. Nicklausse tries to warn Hoffmann to be careful of Giulietta's lover, Schlémil, but Hoffmann of course does not listen. Dapertutto arrives and makes a deal with Giulietta to trick Hoffmann. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann and steals his reflection. When Hoffmann realizes his reflection is gone, we get the famous Septet (the only thing I’m grateful to Choudens for). Afterwards, Hoffmann kills Schlémil  to get the key to Giulietta’s room, but Giulietta leaves with Pitichinaccio instead. Act III: Antonia. The singer Antonia is sick and it’s her singing that is killing her. Hoffmann, who’s been looking for her for months after Antonia and her father moved specifically so he couldn’t find them, has finally found her. They promise to run away and get married, but before they can, Dr. Miracle forces Antonia to sing until she literally dies. Epilogue: Hoffmann has finished his stories. Nicklausse makes the connection that all three ladies are actually metaphors for the real-life Stella. Hoffmann yells at him. Stella walks in on a drunk Hoffmann who mistakes her for his lovers; she leaves in a huff with Lindorf. Nicklausse reveals his identity as the Muse (in spoken dialogue) and asks for Hoffmann’s devotion. Hoffmann gets a reprise of his Giulietta act aria, but this time committing himself to the Muse and his art.

Oeser (1)

This one, which is also very common, isn’t Oeser’s *actual* edit but combines his with the Choudens one, so it has a lot more material than the previous one, but not as much as the longer Oeser version.

Prologue: Very similar to Choudens except we get the Muse’s opening monologue explaining their motivations (winning Hoffmann and saving him from Stella) before the rest of the action. Act I: Olympia. Pretty much the same but sometimes Nicklausse gets a different aria. Act II: Antonia (which here comes before Giulietta). Almost exactly the same as Choudens’, but Nicklausse gets to sing a lovely aria about love and art which is really a love song for Hoffmann. Act III: Giulietta. Pretty much the same, except it’s the third act instead of the second act. Epilogue: Starts pretty much the same, until the Hoffmann/Stella confrontation which is now put to music. Then we get a reprise of Klein-Zach followed by the drinking chorus, after which the Muse reappears. The opera ends with the Muse’s closing monologue and chorus about how Hoffmann’s suffering will make him a greater artist.

Oeser (2)

Pretty similar to the short Oeser version described above. The most dramatic changes are really just in the Giulietta act, though there’s some extra material in Olympia too (that one waltzy duet I’m always gushing about) and sometimes more sung material for the Muse in the epilogue as well. Oeser’s longer Giluietta act: Has the same basic plot points, except instead of going right from Dapertutto making the deal with Giulietta to Giulietta seducing Hoffmann, we get a gambling scene where Giulietta serenades the guests as they play cards, during which each of the characters gets a little moment. Then Giulietta leaves and Hoffmann follows her, and she sings sadly about her dismal situation which leads into her seduction of Hoffmann, and the rest of the act ends pretty much the same, except sometimes there’s no Septet.

Now, on to possibly the wildest of them all:

Kaye/Kecke

This one is rare; there’s only a few recordings that even attempt it, and very few get it to the letter of what these two scholars compiled. Once again, most of the changes are in the Giulietta act and Epilogue; the only real changes in the previous acts are in the orchestration of some parts. Kaye Giulietta Act: Starts pretty much the same, with the Barcarolle and Hoffmann’s derisive aria, and Dapertutto making the deal with Giulietta. We get a gambling scene here too, but it’s not as long or dramatic and Giulietta gets a different aria. Hoffmann kills Schlémil for the same reasons, but it happens before Giulietta steals his reflection; essentially she’s bribing him before she pretends to fall in love with him. Hoffmann gets in trouble for killing Schlémil, and in a fit of rage tries to kill Giulietta, but kills Pitichinaccio instead. Kaye Epilogue: It starts with a chorus for the students kinda trying to talk Hoffmann down from his crazy stories. We get the same Nicklausse-Hoffmann confrontation, and the one with Stella, and a reprise of Klein-Zach, but in addition to the drinking chorus repeating we get a kind of ominous reprise of the “Glou! Glou!” chorus from the prologue, after which the Muse enters and we get the same ending monologue but it’s got some extra pieces.

So the short short version ended up pretty long huh? Anyway, I hope it's helpful!

If you want more detailed summaries to follow along with when you watch the opera, see below!

More detailed summaries!

Choudens

Choudens is one of the the first critical edits of the opera and, despite the fact that it’s been discredited multiple times, is still inexplicably used a lot and is what a lot of people think of when they think of this opera.

Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with his friend Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the song, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia. Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird. Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric saleman, enters and displays his various wares, including a variety of contraptions but primarily eyes. He manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalazani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for what she truly is and is

humiliated. Act II: Giulietta (Choudens is the only edit that has Giulietta second instead of third) Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) After Hoffmann and Nicklausse leave to play cards with the others, the Captain Dapertutto comes in, announcing he plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He attracts the courtesan with a diamond (and a deceptively pretty aria) and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. Hoffmann returns and Dapertutto leaves. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann, who serenades her with a fairly famous aria that gets reprised later for a different reason (keep an eye out for that). Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Giulietta tells Hoffmann that Schlémil has the key to her room, and if Hoffmann can retrieve it, she’ll meet him there later. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or "Sextet and Chorus"). Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Act III: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to find Antonia for him. When the servant leaves to do so, Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that

Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him

two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann, only to find him dead drunk. He mistakes her for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. The students all leave and Hoffmann is alone with Nicklausse, who reveals himself to be the Muse of Poetry. The Muse declares her devotion to Hoffmann and asks for his in return. Hoffmann, hearing this, repeats his song from the Giulietta act, this time declaring his love for the Muse and promising to return to his art.

Oeser (1)

The short Oeser version is the other Most Commonly Seen edit (I think it’s about a tie). It's similar to the Choudens edit in many ways, with some significant additions, which are in blue below: Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. They leave to

join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia (When Oeser made his edit, he rearranged the acts to their original order, placing Antonia before Giulietta.) Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a

party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) After Hoffmann and Nicklausse leave to play cards with the others, the Captain Dapertutto comes in, announcing he plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He attracts the courtesan with a diamond (and a deceptively pretty aria) and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. Hoffmann returns and Dapertutto leaves. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann, who serenades her with a fairly famous aria. Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Giulietta tells Hoffmann that Schlémil has the key to her room, and if Hoffmann can retrieve it, she’ll meet him there later. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or Sextet and Chorus). Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Nicklausse exits, telling Hoffmann it’s time for him to choose. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse, serenading Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but will make him an even greater artist.

Oeser (2)

The long Oeser version (my personal favorite) follows the short one fairly closely; most of the major revisions are in the Giulietta act. This one is pretty rare—I’ve only found one video (which is a terrible production unfortunately) and one audio recording (which is the greatest audio recording of this opera that currently exists). New material in green text:

Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner, tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. Then we get my beloved little waltzy duet where Nicklausse invites Hoffmann back to the party and Hoffmann denounces cynics who disbelieve the power of love. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius

enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance.

Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) As if summoned, the Captain Dapertutto arrives and introduces himself, ominously revealing that he knows who Hoffmann is as well, and in general just acts creepy. Hoffmann and Nicklausse warily leave him behind and go to join the others playing cards. Once they’re gone, Dapertutto announces his plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He sings a diablical aria and attracts the courtesan with a diamond, and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. She and Dapertutto join the card players. Hoffmann is losing miserably, much to Nicklausse’s chagrin. Giulietta serenades the guests with a song about love, not-so-subtly aimed at Hoffmann. We get a pretty epic chorus as the game goes on. [Sometimes we also get and aria from Schlémil about having lost his shadow.] Giulietta leaves and Hoffmann follows her, giving Nicklausse his cards and asking him to finish the game for him. Nicklausse protests and tries to follow Hoffmann, but Dapertutto holds him back. Hoffmann joins Giulietta in her room. Giulietta despairs over her feeling of being trapped and suffering. Nicklausse comes in and tells Hoffmann to get ready to leave and that he’s coming back for him. He leaves, and Giulietta tells Hoffmann he should as well, but he refuses to leave her. Giulietta tells him to steal the key from Schlémil that he uses to lock her up at night, saying if he does so, she will devote herself to him. Hoffmann agrees to do so and sings his aria. Knowing she has him on the hook, Giulietta demands his fidelity—and his reflection. Helpless against her charms, Hoffmann agrees to both. Schlémil, Dapertutto, and Nicklausse return. Dapertutto taunts Hoffmann, who looks in a mirror to find that his reflection is gone. Nicklausse begs him to leave but Hoffmann refuses, still clinging to the hope that Giulietta actually loves him. However she only mocks him, and he despairs, starting everyone off in the famous Septet (or Sextet and Chorus) [sometimes the Septet is left out in longer Oeser edits]. Giulietta leads everyone back to the party, except Schlémil, who challenges Hoffmann to a duel. Hoffmann kills Schlémil and takes the key. He rushes to find Giulietta, only to see her riding off in a gondola with her real lover, Piticchinaccio, both of whom are laughing at his expense. Nicklausse tells Hoffmann the police are coming to look for Schlémil’s murderer, and finally drags him away. Epilogue Back at the tavern, Hoffmann finishes his tales. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down, then deliriously leads a reprise of the drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Nicklausse exits, telling Hoffmann it’s time for him to choose. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse. She declares her love and devotion for Hoffmann and asks for his in return. She calls upon the Spirits of Wine and Beer, who she says have aided her in her efforts; they repeat their chorus and disperse. The Muse serenades Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but

will make him an even greater

artist.

Kaye/Kecke

the Kaye/Kecke version is the most recent critical edition and hailed by many as the most definitive (aside from that “OG Offenbach” one I can’t find anything about). There are actually very few “true” Kaye productions out there, but a few that attempt it. A lot of the changes are just in the orchestration and, in the spoken-dialogue version, a lot of dialogue; the vast majority of the plot and action stay the same. The big differences are in the Giulietta act. Again, I’ll use some new-color text (orange) to indicate differences between this and previous editions.

Prologue We open in Luther's Tavern. A chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer sing out. The Muse emerges from a barrel, declaring her love for Hoffmann and determination to rid him of Stella, the “siren” who has stolen his attention (and affection). She tells the audience that she will disguise herself as Nicklausse, Hoffmann’s friend, in order to try one last time to win him tonight. The Councilor Lindorf comes in and bribes Andrès, a tavern employee, into giving him a letter from Stella, an actress, that’s addressed to Hoffmann. Lindorf reads the letter, in which Stella has included the key to her room and invites Hoffmann to join her after her performance that evening. Lindorf keeps the letter and key for himself. A group of students arrive in the tavern and sing a rousing drinking chorus. After a bit they notice Hoffmann isn’t there yet and demand to know where he is. Luther, the tavern's owner tells them Hoffmann is on his way, along with Nicklausse. The pair enter and take a seat. Hoffmann is melancholy and brooding, which prompts the students to ask him for a jovial song to lighten the mood. Hoffmann then sings the famous “Ballad of Klein-Zach.” But in the middle of the song, he gets distracted by memories of Stella. The students bring him back to reality and he finishes the sing, but the talk of love brings it up as a topic of conversation. Hoffmann declares “The devil take me if I were ever to fall in love!” At this point Lindorf makes his presence known, sneering at Hoffmann. The two of them then get into a battle of words, during which Hoffmann inadvertently admits that he is, in fact, in love with someone. Curious, the students ask him for the story of his love. Hoffmann declares that he has had not one but three mistresses: an artist, a young girl, and a courtesan. He then begins to tell his tales. Act I: Olympia Hoffmann goes to visit his science professor, Spalanzani, to declare his devotion to science. Spalanzani commends him, then leaves to prepare for his “daughter” Olympia’s coming-out party. Hoffmann admits his love for Olympia and gazes at her through a window. Nicklausse arrives and gently teases him about his love, singing a song about a mechanical doll and bird (sometimes it’s changed to a more mocking song specifically referencing Olympia). (also he sometimes mockingly serenades Olympia before his other aria.) Hoffmann brushes him off. Coppélius, an eccentric salesman, enters and attempts to sell Hoffmann and Nicklausse a variety or contraptions; Hoffmann and Nicklausse bicker over whether or not to engage with the salesman. Coppélius manages to get Hoffmann interested in a pair of magical glasses, which Hoffmann then purchases and wears for the remainder of the act. Spalanzani returns and gets into an argument with Coppélius about Olympia; Coppélius wants a share since she has his eyes. Spalanzani decides to pay Coppélius with a check that he mentions in an aside he knows will bounce. Coppélius tells Spalanzani that he should get Hoffmann to marry Olympia as a joke. Spalanzani agrees, and Coppélius leaves. Cochenille, Spalanzani's assistant, announces the arrival of the guests. A chorus of people arrive, admiring Spalanzani’s skills as a host. Spalanzani introduces Olympia to the guests, who marvel over her perfection. Olympia sings a charming songs about birds and love. Hoffmann's new glasses make him see Olympia as a real person rather than the robot she actually is, and he is captivated. After Olympia’s song, the guests leave to go to dinner, but Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to stay behind with Olympia. Hoffmann professes his love for Olympia, who responds only with “Yes” when Hoffmann touches her shoulder (he doesn’t know he’s actually triggering a button that makes her say that word). When he goes to embrace her, Olympia runs off. Nicklausse returns, telling Hoffmann to be wary, because everything is not as it seems; Hoffmann brushes him off yet again. Then we get my beloved little waltzy duet where Nicklausse invites Hoffmann back to the party and Hoffmann denounces cynics who disbelieve

the power of love. They leave to join the other guests. Coppélius enters, furious with Spalanzani for giving him a faulty check. He swears revenge and runs off. The guests return for dancing. Spalanzani asks Hoffmann to dance with Olympia. During the dance, Olympia goes haywire and rushes offstage, pursued by Cochenille. In the process, Hoffmann’s glasses are broken. Cochenille rushes back onstage, crying out that Coppélius has Olympia; Spalanzani rushes to her aid, only to find Coppélius with the robot in pieces. They return holding parts of the broken doll, and Hoffmann, his magical glasses now broken, finally sees Olympia for who she truly is and is humiliated. Act II: Antonia Crespel’s house. Antonia laments the death of her mother and her separation from her lover, Hoffmann. Her father, Crespel, enters and reminds her not to sing, lest she die from it like her mother did. Antonia promises him she won’t sing anymore and leaves sadly. Crespel asks his servant Frantz to watch the door and make sure no one comes in. Frantz, who is partially deaf, only half-understands him. Crespel expresses frustration at this and leaves. Frantz remarks in a fun little number that if only he had some talents—like singing or dancing—maybe his boss would appreciate him more. Hoffmann enters with Nicklausse; they have been travelling for weeks looking for Antonia after she moved away without a word. Hoffmann asks Frantz to go find Antonia for him. While Hoffmann expresses his joy over being reunited with Antonia, Nicklausse tries to temper his excitement with a reality check, which Hoffmann brushes off (he does this a lot). Nicklausse then sings a lovely song about the power of art and love (which is really a love song for Hoffmann), but once again Hoffmann ignores him. Hoffmann begins to sing a song that he and Antonia wrote. Antonia hears him and rushes to meet him; Nicklausse exits quietly. Hoffmann and Antonia rejoice over their reunion and pledge to get married. Hoffmann expresses concern over Antonia’s insistence to sing despite her ill health. Antonia convinces him to sing their song together, which they do. Afterwards Antonia becomes tired. Before Hoffmann can react, they hear Crespel coming. Antonia flees, but Hoffmann remains, hiding so he can eavesdrop on Crespel. Frantz returns and tells Crespel that Dr. Miracle is here, having misunderstood Crespel’s command to not let anyone in. Dr. Miracle enters, asking to see Antonia. Crespel refuses and tells him to leave, saying that his faulty medicine is what killed Antonia's mother. Dr. Miracle, however, remains, and pantomimes an interaction with Antonia where he checks her pulse and orders her to sing. Offstage, Antonia responds with a scale. Dr. Miracle tells Crespel that Antonia is dangerously ill, and gives him two vials of medicine that he says will cure her. Crespel refuses them, calling the doctor a murderer and chasing him out. Hoffmann comes out of hiding, stunned by this encounter. Antonia returns and asks Hoffmann what her father said, thinking that he and Hoffmann had been talking this entire time. Hoffmann, disturbed by what he’s seen and heard, makes Antonia promise not to sing. She agrees, but when Hoffmann leaves (promising to return for her later) she laments that Hoffmann is now on her father’s side about her singing. Dr. Miracle returns as a disembodied voice, taunting Antonia. Why should she give up singing just because her father and Hoffmann tell her to? Doesn’t she want to be a great singer like her mother? When Antonia rebuffs him, Dr. Miracle calls on the spirit of Antonia’s dead mother, who leads Antonia in a frantic refrain. Antonia, exhausted by the singing, collapses. Crespel rushes in to see his daughter dying on the floor. She tells him she sees her mother, then sings a part of her and Hoffmann’s song, before dying in her father’s arms. Hoffmann rushes in just in time to see Dr. Miracle pronounce Antonia dead. Act III: Giulietta Venice. The courtesan Giulietta is having a party of sorts. She and Nicklausse sing the famous Barcarolle. Afterwards

Hoffmann mocks them with a song of his own condemning love and romance. Schlémil, who is in love with Giulietta, enters and makes it clear he is suspicious of Hoffmann when Giulietta introduces him. Giulietta then leads her guests out to play cards. Hoffmann is about to follow when Nicklausse takes him aside, warning him against Giulietta and asking him to leave. Hoffmann says there’s no way he could fall for someone like Giulietta, and if he does, may the devil take him! (He really needs to stop saying that.) As if summoned, the Captain Dapertutto arrives and introduces himself, ominously revealing that he knows who Hoffmann is as well, and in general just acts creepy. Hoffmann and Nicklausse warily leave him behind and go to join the others playing cards. Once they’re gone, Dapertutto announces his plans to thwart Hoffmann with the help of Giulietta. He sings a diabolical aria and attracts the courtesan with a diamond, and tells her she needs to steal Hoffmann’s reflection for him. Giulietta agrees to do so in exchange for the diamond. (Here’s where the plot deviates, and the Oeser parts from earlier don’t appear at all.) The guests return looking for Giulietta, who sings a song for them as they play cards. Hoffmann gets distracted by Giulietta and gives Nicklausse his cards. Giulietta seduces Hoffmann and convinces him to duel Schlémil to get the key to her bedroom. Hoffmann does and kills Schlémil. Nicklausse finds Hoffmann and, learning about the duel, begs Hoffmann to leave with him. Hoffmann refuses, wanting to see Giulietta. Nicklausse leaves to find a means of transportation. Giulietta returns and continues to seduce Hoffmann, who falls for her completely. She asks for his reflection as a keepsake; he’s helpless to resist her. Dapertutto returns; Giulietta relinquishes Hoffmann to him. Nicklausse returns as well, in time to find Hoffmann has lost his reflection. Once again he begs Hoffmann to leave, but Hoffmann refuses, still insistent that Giulietta loves him. The chorus returns, mocking Hoffmann for being duped. The police arrive to arrest Schlémil’s killer. Furious, Hoffmann attempts to stab Giulietta, but misses and kills Pitichinaccio, who is revealed to be her real lover. Giulietta despairs over his body, and Nicklausse finally manages to drag Hoffmann away. (There is no Septet in Kaye edits.) Epilogue Back at the tavern, the students sing a disbelieving chorus as Hoffmann finishes his tales, telling him to come back to reality. Offstage, cheers and applause are heard for Stella as her performance comes to an end. Nicklausse announces a revelation—all of Hoffmann’s lovers in his stories are just manifestations of his real love for a single woman, Stella. Furious, Hoffmann shouts Nicklausse down. He then encourages everyone (including himself) to get blackout drunk. The chorus of the Spirits of Wine and Beer from the prologue returns, creepily overlapping with the students’ drinking chorus. Stella enters looking for Hoffmann. Hoffmann drunkenly mistakes Stella for his three fictional loves, then rejects her. Offended, Stella leaves with Lindorf. Hoffmann begins to sing his Klein-Zach song, mockingly dedicating it to Lindorf, before falling in despair. The students exit the tavern, singing their song once again and leaving Hoffmann alone. (Sometimes Stella gets an aria here, basically telling Hoffmann “you don’t know what you’re missing by rejecting me.”) Nicklausse returns and reveals his identity as the Muse. She declares her love and devotion for Hoffmann and asks for his in return. The Muse serenades Hoffmann with a comforting refrain: love makes a man great, but tears make him greater still—his suffering is not in vain, but will make him an even greater artist. (Sometimes the final chorus is extended, with comments from the other characters announcing that the future is his.)

And there you have it!

As mentioned before, there are a ton of variations on all of these. Choudens edits and short Oeser edits are often very similar, but even they will have random chunks cut here and there, sometimes move things around, and of course it’s always a toss-up which aria Niclausse is going to get in Act I and if he’ll get the Violin Aria.

If you got to the end of this, kudos. Seriously. I could barely make it through, and I elected to write the thing.

[alittlextrathatway]

Fluff prompt 17 & Brettsey ❤️

“I’m pretty sure (you’re/she’s/he’s/they’re) my soulmate”

******

Monthly dinner with his sister and his niece is proving itself to be interesting. Honestly, this month he feared he wouldn’t be in the mood for it given the self-loathing hole he’s fallen into. It started with self reflection in an effort to answer Sylvie’s question and then spiraled from there.

It became a nightmarish clipshow of all the arguments and fights he’d had with Gabby. Deep in the archives of his memory he found a dusty padlocked trunk full of their relationship’s flaws and weaknesses. When she left he hadn’t let himself dwell on them but not unpacking those hurt feelings had in turn caused him to hurt Sylvie.

And that could never be allowed to happen again.

He needed to process it all but it left him feeling rather cynical. He had horrible luck with relationships. Why should Sylvie be any different?

Except, she is. She’s very different. He doesn’t know how he knows she’s different. He simply...does.

He has no idea what to do with that certainty so lately he’s been ignoring it in favor of his more instinctual wallowing.

Which is part of the reason dinner is interesting.

It seems his niece, now in her freshman year of college, has fallen in love. The young kind. The kind you believe to be invincible despite it having never been tested. Even if he’s in a cynical mood, he still finds it...sweet.

“I’m pretty sure he’s my soulmate,” Violet explains, spearing a bit of salad onto her fork.

Christie shakes her head with a fond grin.

But Matt is curious. “What makes you say that?”

She smiles broadly at the question, happy to have her feelings acknowledged by an adult. “Well, we want all the same things — right now anyway. He never judges my decisions, he just listens to me as I make them. He never tries to solve my problems for me. He doesn’t act like I have to be his entire world or that he has a right to know all my secrets. I don’t know, I guess he makes me feel free. Like I’m not having to meet any unrealistic expectations and I can relax, you know? I can genuinely be me and not the person people think I am. I mean I get that we’re young and I’ve got a lot of the world I still need to see but...when you find someone like that shouldn’t you hold on to it? Whether you're eighteen or, well, as old as you are, Uncle Matt.”

The last part is said with a teasing twinkle in her eye and he chuckles at her, tossing a piece of his dinner roll at her.

“I take the time to actually ask you about this guy and then you turn around and call me old? You’ve grown up to be a real brat. You know that?”

She laughs, shrugs, and sticks her tongue out at him the way she used to do when she was a lot younger. It reminds him of how quickly time has passed.

Of how much of it he’s wasted.

But it’s more than that because Violet’s words nestle into his brain like the overly catchy chorus of a pop song. They repeat in his head over and over as his 48 hours off ticks away — like a song on replay.

“He makes me feel free.”

“I can genuinely be me and not the person people think I am.”

“When you find someone like that shouldn’t you hold on to it?”

He may be older than Violet but her youthful optimism is taking him to school. His niece has always been precocious but these words are wise beyond her years.

Because she’s right. When you find someone who allows you to safely be your true self you should hold on to them. That may very well be the definition of a soulmate for all he knows…

So, why is he letting his go?

He walks into Molly’s, a man on a mission. He’s been energized by Violet’s hope and idealism. He can do this. He can talk to Sylvie and tell her how he feels and what he wants. They can work. They can be happy. He knows they can and that, he suddenly realizes, is what makes her different. He has no doubt he could make her happy. In fact, he’s confident they could make each other the happiest they’ve ever been...if only she’ll take the leap.

He spots Sylvie in the back, at a table with Mackey and Kidd. He ignores Herrmann’s hello and marches straight to them.

“I’ve reconsidered,” Matt declares to the table.

Sylvie’s brow furrows in confusion, head tilting slightly. “Reconsidered what?”

“A lot of things,” he says honestly, holding her stare and blocking out Kidd and Mackey’s wide eyed expressions. “But mostly your question and my answer and then your resulting request for space.”

He’s powering through his fears and his nerves and apparently that means using his commanding captain voice. Not exactly the tone he imagined he’d use but he’s getting the words out. The words he intends to say, the words he’s been thinking for weeks, are actually leaving his lips. If it works, he’s not changing it now.

“Um, okay,” Sylvie replies, cheeks turning pink as her teeth pull at her bottom lip.

He can tell he’s surprised her and she’s not sure how to respond so he continues. “I don’t want to give you space. In fact, I don’t want any distance between us at all. Ever.”

Her eyes water but a tear never falls and she doesn’t look away. She swallows thickly and shakes her head. “We talked about this. I told you it can’t happen again—“

“Because there is no regardless of Gabby, I know. I’m still unpacking that baggage,” he tells her honestly. “And you’re right there is no regardless of Gabby, but that doesn’t mean I still want her. Do I want her to be happy? Yes. Will I always feel some sort of love for her? Yes. But I’m not in love with her anymore and I don’t want to be. I want you. The truth is, I was never able to really be the person I wanted to be with Gabby. I didn’t feel as if I could be but with you—with you—I have no other choice to be authentically me. You bring that out in me and, now that I see that, I have no intention of letting you go.”

The trepidation he saw in her expression earlier melts away, leaving a blinding smile in its place. Her eyes are glistening and her face is flushing. Their eyes never move from each other. His smile shifts to match hers.

Sylvie stands from her chair, slips her arms in her coat, and without looking away from him says, “Stella, Gianna, I’ll see you both on shift tomorrow.”

“I’ll make sure Severide knows not to worry when Casey doesn’t make it home,” Kidd says with a wry grin.

Mackey turns to Kidd with an elated expression. “I knew it! I knew I saw something!”

Sylvie ignores them both and slips her hand into his, pulling him toward the exit. “Come with me.”

The rest of the bar is still hazy. All he sees is Sylvie’s blonde hair and sunny smile. He knows there’s other people in the room but they feel very far away.

They step out of the stuffy bar and into the cool night air. She drags him down the street until she finds his truck in it’s usual parking spot and then stops, turning to face him, looking overjoyed and yet still shy.

“So, I make you feel like yourself, huh?” She asks as her smile turns coy.

“You think I let just anyone hear my Australian accent?” He asks, with a secretive grin.

A short burst of laughter escapes her. “That’s good to know. It’s truly terrible.”

He takes her other hand and tugs her closer until they’re nearly standing chest to chest. Their amused expressions sober at the tension that crackles between them.

“Sylvie, I really believe we could work,” he confesses. “I think we could be great and I want a chance to prove it.”

She squeezes his hands and lifts herself up onto her toes until their noses are touching. “You make me feel like myself too, Matt. You don’t want me to be more than I am or expect me to change any part of myself for you. That’s what pulled me in, even if I didn’t want it to. You wanted to be there for me, exactly as I am. It’s hard to resist.”

“Then don’t,” he pleads. “Don’t resist. Take a leap with me. Please.”

“If we do this—“

He smiles eagerly, suddenly hopeful this might go his way.

“—we both have to be all in, Matt. That means talking about the tough topics and really putting in the work to make sure we understand each other.”

He nods, nose bumping hers. “I’m all in. We’re already discussing the tough topics and we haven’t even been on a date,” he reminds her. “I am more than willing to keep talking. I’ll talk all night if you want. I’m an open book. Anytime you want.”

“You also have to promise me that you’ll tell me if I ever make you feel as if you can’t be yourself with me,” Sylvie says, hands slipping into his hair. “I want you, Matt. Whoever you choose to be and whatever dreams you choose to have, you’re the one I want. I don’t want you to ever hide any of that from me.”

“I won’t,” he promises. “You’re getting every bit of me from here on out. I swear.”

“Good,” she says, beaming at him with happy tears gathering in her lashes. “That’s all I’ve been wanting for entirely too long.”

“Then what’s the final verdict, Brett?” He asks as his arms slowly encircle her waist. “Are we doing this?”

She sighs happily and nods. “Yeah, we’re doing this.”

That’s all he needs to hear. He yanks her forward until she’s pressed flush against him and then swoops in, sealing his mouth to hers. With every sip he takes from her lips his cynicism washes away. She’s a fountain of truth and light and he feels fortunate to be near her. The sheer amount of happiness he feels, as he continues to kiss her on the sidewalk outside of Molly’s, is a shock to his system.

And, he thinks, he has Violet to thank for it.

If soulmates do exist then she helped him see that his has been right in front of him all along.

[procrastinatorimagines]

Okay Part 2

Fandom: Chicago Fire / One Chicago / Chicago PD

Series: Okay

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5 // Part 6 // Part 7 // Part 8 (Final)

Character/s: Halstead!Reader, eventual Casey x Reader

Warning/s: fire, mentions of kidnapping/assualt

Word Count: 3,445

Summary: Reader had a comfortable life in Chicago and worked a safe job at a library in town, but her life was thrown upside down when she got kidnapped on her way home from work by people who wanted revenge against her brother Jay Halstead. Now that she’s recovered she’s decided to become a firefighter, determined to help people the way she’d been helped when she needed it, but nobody said it was going to be easy.

You hadn’t expected it to be easy, but the fire academy had been brutal. It didn’t matter though, you’d appreciated every second, and you felt like you were finally ready to take the next step, move past what had happened to you and take charge of your life. 

Stepping into Firehouse 51, uniform on, you felt like you were where you were supposed to be. Your wounds had healed, but you still had a scare from where you’d been shot, a reminder of what you’d survived, and no matter how worried Jay and Will were about your first shift, you couldn’t keep being a librarian like nothing had happened. You’d been kidnapped, beaten, shot and left to die in a fire, you had to believe that the fact that you’d survived meant something, that there was a reason you were still here. 

So you’d decided that that reason was to do more with your life, make a real difference. Save people, like your brother’s did, like you had been.

“Well if it isn’t the new candidate,” you heard from your left, turning to see Herrmann heading towards to meet you as you made your way to your first briefing. 

“Hey Herrmann,” you smiled, but he didn’t match your expression, scowling slightly at you instead.

“That’s Lieutenant to you candidate, and don’t you forget it,” he informed you. You thought about laughing, but the look on his face said that wasn’t wise, you you straightened up and cleared your throat, apologising to him and using the correct title as you walked in to the briefing.

“51-” Boden began as you both walked in, offering you a much more welcoming smile than Herrmann, addressing the rest of the house, your new house, as you went to take a seat.

You paused mid way through sitting as the alarms sounded however, fire in a household a few blocks away. Everyone from Truck jumped to their feet as Boden sighed, a few people giving you welcome nods and pats on the back as you joined the others on their way to the rig, the realisation that you were now part of Truck hitting you on your way - so much for any easing in you might have wanted on your first day.

Getting your gear on was easy, you’d practiced doing it in private hundreds of times so you wouldn’t be the last one ready, climbing into the truck as Stella got ready to drive, taking off with sirens blaring when everyone else had climbed in.

“Welcome to 51 candidate,” Casey said, patting you on the leg as you subconsciously fiddled with the zip on your jacket, “hope you’re ready.”

“Of course Captain,” you told him, hoping that by saying it outloud you’d speak it into existence, realising that all your months of training had been leading up to this moment, God you couldn’t blow this now.

You arrived at the scene shortly, Truck pulling up behind Ambo 61 outside the burning building, everybody jumping out as Casey surveyed the scene before you. You heard Boden pull up and discuss options with the him, probably wanting to at least check in on the new candidate on her first call, but you couldn’t take your eyes of the fire.

It couldn’t have started long ago, but it had clearly spread fast, dark grey smoke rolling out chimney as flames flicked out from the windows, had it already jumped to the second floor? You’d have less time inside than usual.

“My daughter! Lily!” A woman screamed, dressing gown black with smoke as she coughed, a man equally as smokey desperately trying to hold her back from running in to the fire.

“Ma’am!” Casey yelled, heading over, “ma’am!” He repeated, finally getting her attention as she practically fell into him, grabbing his jacket frantically.

“My daughter! You have to get my Lily! I went to the neighbour’s for a chat, I was right next door and she was asleep, I don’t know what happened but please my daughter is in there!” She pleaded, the man next to her being the neighbour, you realised. 

“Right, is there anyone else in there?” Casey looked to her, then the fire, and then back.

“No, no it’s just her, please hurry!” She all but collapsed, her neighbour trying to keep her upright as Sylvie went to check on her. You could barely take your eyes of off the poor woman, how terrified she was for her little girl.

“Okay Truck listen up!” Casey call you all to attention, “I don’t like the look of these flames, so I want us to be quick, but you know how kids can be with hiding, so I want Gallo and Kidd sweeping the downstairs, Halstead I want you with me on the top floor, let’s find this little girl and get out before that smoke goes black. Everyone else get the hose ready, I want you to hit it as soon as we get out so it doesn’t jump to any of the nearby houses,” he ordered as you scrambled to but on your gear, securely fastening your mask and oxygen as your mind raced. 

Your first fire. Well, not exactly your first, your mind wandered unhelpfully as you tried to block out the memories of your kidnapping, turning quickly back to where the others were readying to enter the house. 

“Ready?” Casey double checked, allowing Gallo and Kidd to enter first. You gave him a thumbs up, not trusting your voice as he led you inside, veering for the stairs straightaway as the other two swept downstairs. 

It was hot. So hot. You’d trained in these circumstances, but there had obviously never actually been a person in real danger then, and this little girl was. You took short breaths, not wanting to use up too much of your oxygen as you reached the landing, walking slowly as the smoke got thicker, Casey feeling a head as you made your way to the first rooms. 

“Fire department, call out!” He yelled, opening the nearest door, the master bedroom, as you took the room directly opposite, the bathroom, both were empty. The next room looked like an office of some sort, boxes and paint in the corner like it was about to be redecorated, but still no sign of the little girl. Still, you hadn’t gotten to her bedroom yet.

The last room down the hall must have been hers, the flower stickers peeling on the door was a bit of a give away. Casey went first, calling out yet again as you hung back slightly, finding it a little hard to breath. Quickly checking your oxygen you realised that it had plenty left, so why couldn’t you breath?

You took a step and had to lean against the doorway, the smoke and heat feeling far too familiar as you fought to keep yourself calm and focused. Casey noticed finally as she did a sweep of the room, standing up from looking under the bed to see your legs about to give way.

“Hey! Candidate, what are you doing?” He asked as panic started to rise, opening your mouth to answer him but no sound came out. He made he way to you quickly, well aware that you were on a clock. “Halstead, Y/N, look at me,” His voice was softer now as he put a hand on your arm and you willed yourself to look at him.

“I’m sorry-” you choked out, the feeling of being trapped in a buring building creeping into every part of you as memories of your kidnapping came flooding back.

“Y/N, breath, you have to breath, you’re fine okay, you’re safe,” he reassured you, keeping his hand on your shoulder as he turned on his radio. “Gallo, Kidd, any luck finding the girl? The upper floor’s clear.” Casey hadn’t found her in here, you realised, maybe she’d gotten out already.

Taking a few shaky breaths you tried to ground yourself, reminding yourself that you were in control, you were a firefighter now, this was your job, lives depended on it. God you had to pull yourself together, this was so not the time or the place for a panic attack. You’d only had one since that day, and it hadn’t even been in the academy or training, it had been walking back to your car from your last shift at the library and a guy in a van had pulled up beside you. He’d only wanted directions, but you’d made your way to the car and had a breakdown.

You couldn’t be doing this right now, it was your first shift, first call. “Negative Cap, she isn’t down here either,” Kidd radioed back.

“Okay, get out of here, this smoke is turning a colour that I do not like,” Boden instructed. Casey looked at you, searching your face as you managed to push yourself up off of the door frame.

“Let’s go,” he said and you swallowed hard, trying to snap out of your panic, this building starting to look more and more like the one you were trapped in as it burned around you. You took a few steps on shaky knees, glad Casey was a head of you so he didn’t see how badly you were affected by this. 

You made it to the stairs before you stumbled into the bannister, Casey looking back at you in alarm as you found yourself paralysed with fear, staring down at the fire consuming your way to the exit. You could make it, you knew that, but you fear was making it look impossible right now, your limbs as stuck as they had been when you’d tried to crawl to safety in that burning basement, your shoulder burning like you’d been shot all over again.

“Y/N!” Casey was worried now as he approached you, glancing back down to the front door. You could see the way out, but your legs wouldn’t let you get here. “Y/N, we have to go, now!” It had been like this last time too, you remembered, unable to move as Casey had carried you to safety. But he wasn’t supposed to be saving you, you were a firefighter now, you were supposed to be working with him, it was your job now.

Maybe this had been a bad idea, you thought, the library had been safer than this, whatever had happened that day, maybe you weren’t cut out for this. 

Casey was still looking at you in alarm as you rose to your feet, willing yourself to at least make it outside, pausing again when you heard something. Casey stopped again, opening his mouth to say something when you put your hand out to stop him, shaking your head as you strained your ear, fighting to focus through the sound of the first and the sound of your own thoughts. Was that a cry?

Taking a breath you straightened up again, hearing that cry again as you made your way back to the office. Casey followed after you, shouting to ask you what you were doing, that it was time to go, but you could barely hear him, so focused on that crying, couldn’t he hear it? ... Was it just in your head?

Opening the door again it was louder, Casey pausing now as he heard it too, your mind clearing with your singular focus on this child, the reason you were even here in the first place coming back to you enough to steady yourself. 

“Lily!” You called out, hearing a cry again as you ran to the desk in the corner, Casey joined you but you both saw nothing underneath it. Both of you looked around frantically.

“Casey, what’s the hold up?” Boden voiced over comms.

“I think we got something in here Chief,” Casey replied as you noticed something at the side of the desk, scratches on the wall, like something had been moved against it, kneeling down you felt similar indents on the wooden floor. 

“You have a minute, this place is going Casey,” Boden warned, knowing that he wouldn’t have left right now anyway, not if the little girl had been here, but you could tell from the sound of his voice that this was serious. 

“Casey, look at this,” you got his attention as you pulled on the side of the desk, he joined you to make it go quicker, shoving it out the way to reveal a little... door?

With a confused and worried glance to each other you and Casey pulled open the door, revealing a scared little girl curled up in a ball, stuffed bear held so tightly to her chest her knuckles had gone while, shaking with fear. 

“We got her Chief,” Casey radioed, breathing a sigh of relief as you tried to coax the timid girl out. What the hell was she doing back there? 

“It’s okay, it’s Lily isn’t it?” You asked gently and she nodded slightly, coughing as you held out your hand. “It’s okay Lily, I’m here to get you out, you’re going to be okay.” She coughed again, violently, the smoke filling the room quicker than you’d anticipated as she carefully took your hand. You pulled her out as quickly but carefully as you could as Casey surveyed the fire. 

She wrapped her arms around you with more strength than you expected for a girl that looked around 6 or 7, holding her closely to you as you opened part of your jacket, sheilding her with it the best you could as you made it out onto the landing.

“Stairs are not good,” Casey told you, turning back from where fire had consumed the entire landing, hurriedly directing you back into the room.

“Cheif we’re going to need a ladder to the front left side,” he informed Boden, shutting the main door and opening the window, waving out to where a ladder was being brought around. 

Lily coughed again and you crouched back down, making the decision to remove your mask and put it on her. “Take slow, deep breaths,” you said to her as Casey watched you, knowing you were breaking protocol but at this point your main priority was the girl.

With the mask off it all felt so similar, the heat, the smoke, the feeling like your lungs were on fire as you stayed low to the floor, watching Lily grip the mask with one hand and her bear with the other. And there was a smell... a smell that took you right back to that basement but...

The ladder came quickly and Casey snapped you out of your thoughts, making you go down with Lily first. Your legs were surprisingly steady as you climbed, the fresh air hitting you with such relief that you nearly cried.

Making it to the bottom you did nearly stumble, quickly catching yourself as you brought Lily over to Brett and Foster, her mother running to her straight away, thanking both you and Casey as he joined you at the bottom.

“Hit it!” Casey called to the men on the hoses as the house was doused with water. You made it back to the Truck before you had to lean against it, breathing in the fresh air like you’d just been underwater. Casey had followed you, standing a little bit away while you steadied your breathing. 

You looked to him apologetically, knowing you’d screwed up in there. “You alright?” He asked you, surveying you carefully. 

“Sorry,” you said, looking to the ground as he closed the distance between the two of you, clapping you on the back.

“For what, saving a little girl?” He smiled slightly, knowing full well what you meant.

“I froze Casey, panicked, I just felt like I was back in that fire and I- I locked up,” you poured out your feelings, a tear slipping down your cheek as Casey listened, “I thought I could do this, but I don’t think- I was a mess in there, I’m not sure I’m strong enough to do this, capable enough-”

“Stop.” Casey cut you off, putting a hand on both your shoulders as he made you look him in the eyes. “You saved that little girl.”

“I-” you started, not feeling like you’d done much more than slow down the actual search. Maybe if you hadn’t been such a mess, Casey would have found her sooner. 

Casey cut you off immediately, pointing to where Lily was being treated by the paramedics. “You saved her.”

“Any firefighter could have done that, anyone could have done that, without breaking down like I did,” you argued. Saving people was part of the job, it didn’t make you special, Casey did this kind of thing all the time without freaking out.

“Sure, but they didn’t, Y/N, most people don’t, ever,” he said with a little bit of force, like he was trying to get you to snap out of it. “Y/N, most people never do this kind of thing, it takes a certain kind of person to do what you did, to do what we do, you heard her cry before I did, found that room before I did, and sure, you panicked, but it was your first call on your first shift, you’re new, but you overcame that to save a life, and that’s the kind of instinct they don’t teach at the academy, it’s what makes you a Halstead, and it’s the kind of thing that makes me glad to have you on my Truck,” Casey finished and you swallowed, taking in his words as the hoses and the fire died down. 

You became a firefighter to save lives, to make a difference, to take charge of your life. And Casey was right, you’d fallen down before, made mistakes, but you’d always got back up, hell, you’d been kidnapped and then got back up and joined the fire department. You had to see it through, you didn’t want to go back now, you couldn’t. 

With a nod Casey took a step back, accepting that you’d heard him as the others came back to the Truck, congratulating you on your first fire as the ambo drove off, Lily and her mother inside. 

Even though you still couldn’t get the first out of your head, that room, that smell, those feelings... you got back into the Truck with the others as you headed back to the station. You’d survived your first fire, barely.

There were relatively few calls the rest of the day, a couple of car accidents and a man tangled in some cables, but mercifully, no more fires. So, despite a rocky start, it hadn’t been a bad shift, maybe you would get the hang of this afterall, what Casey had said had definitely helped you with that.

You were heading out with Kidd when Casey called you back. “Hey, Y/N, you got a sec before you leave?” You told Kidd you’d meet her at Molly’s, they were taking you to celebrate your first shift, and you followed him into Boden’s office. 

Severide and Herrmann were there too, and they all looked serious. “What’s going on?” You asked as you put your bag down at the side.

“Discussing this morning’s fire, it was off, way off,” Casey said and you couldn’t have agreed more, you’d been thinking about it all day.

“What the hell was that room?” You voiced out loud, it was too small and too hidden to have been anything normal.

“We want to hear your thoughts on it,” Boden told you and you thought.

“Me and Casey both had to pull that desk to move it away, there was no way that little girl had done it, someone else had to have put her in there,” you mused and the others looked to each other in agreement, clearly Casey had thought the same thing.

“Anything else?” Severide asked and you thought back to that smell.

“It smelled the same,” you mumbled, elaborating when you saw the confused looks on their faces, “sorry, the house, when I took off my mask to give it to Lily, it smelled like the basement, the one I was trapped in.”

“An accellerant,” Severide finished for you, leaning forward in his chair and putting his hands to his chin, thinking.

“It would explain why it burned so quickly,” Casey said.

“Someone torched that house,” Boden voiced to no one in particular, saying what you’d all already suspected.

“Someone tried to kill that kid,” you realised, your heart sinking. Who would do something like that? You didn’t know, but you were sure as hell going to find out.

[yourfavouritebella]

Theatre Techniques

#1 Post - Acting Tips through Meisner’s technique

After being self-isolated for so long, you’ve finished watching all of the Netflix shows and cook every possible dish in your fridge, now what?

Well, maybe it’s time to touch upon acting through Meisner’s techniques at home.

Sandy Meisner is a well-known actor based in New York. He was one of the curious actors along with Stella Adler that adopted Stanislavski’s technique (also known as Method Acting) til he felt the need to develop his own acting form, which is known as Meisner Technique that conveys naturalism and playing with the tension between acting partners.

Using these techniques, it will help you become a better actor by embracing yourself to be in the moment with your scene partners. You may have to create a zoom meeting with your scene partner for one of the exercises, but what could be a better way to make a reason to meet people again than to rehearse on your own!

The Meisner technique has three main components that all work hand in hand:

Emotional preparation

Whilst reading the line, learn to delve into a given circumstance that will generate real emotions. Be in the character’s shoes and think how would you react when the situation happened.

Repetition

By repeating your lines, it can make you rely on their organic instincts.

Improvisation

As you are getting used to the flow of the lines, it will encourage spontaneity and reduce an actor’s self-consciousness.

1st Exercises:

Actor 1: Your hair is long.

Actor 2: My hair is long.

Actor 1: Your hair is long.

Actor 2: My hair is long.

A: (Noticing B scratched their arm) You scratched your arm.

B: I scratched my arm.

From this exercise, it removes the over-thinking part of acting that after even a short period of time, one realises the ‘text’ becomes essentially irrelevant, and it is the subtext and relationship that really matter. It lets you be more observant of your acting partner and being able to be more perceptive in the body language of each other.

2nd Exercise:

When reading the lines, recall a memory where you were in that circumstance and apply that emotion to the scene.

If it’s not a circumstance you had any experience of, you can draw external sources of research, eg. asking friends or family, watching interviews, reading books, and people-watching, to gather a library of additional material to provide inspiration.

In conclusion, as you try out these exercises, you will feel differently when acting because you’ll be facing the “given circumstances” of the character with different points of view. It gets you to be more observant and analyse the tension between you and your partner to be inspired and provoke your acting decisions. Hence it will make you listen and react with clarity.

#2 Post - Acting Tips through Adler’s Acting Technique

With so many acting techniques nowadays, how will you be able to choose? It’s like contemplating which crisps do you want to eat, sometimes you feel like getting Tangy Cheese Doritos and sometimes you’re feeling for Flamin Hot Cheetos. The choices are endless, but don’t fret! In the end, it’s always good to give a try of each technique to see which suits your taste.

As we had previously touched on Meisner’s technique, today we’re going to go through Adler’s acting techniques that you can try out yourself! :)

Stella Adler is a daughter of two professional actors, hence debuted her acting career at the age of 4. She is regarded highly in the industry due to her professionalism and proficiency in her acting as she learned and earned through experience. After learning Stanislavski’s and Strasberg’s acting technique, she evolved her own acting technique that has more involvement in imagination.

Now, shall we delve into her techniques? whispers yes, we shall!

Here are the three main components of Adler’s techniques:

Analysing Text

She has a great emphasis on script analysis and respect for the playwright. When teaching, she, “gave young actors more responsibility by asking them to understand the play themselves rather than relying on a director to interpret it.” Actors must look into the script to analyse the character’s personality and lifestyle then align their actions with the character’s circumstances. When reading text, you need to ask yourself, “What is my character going through that would produce that experience?”

Cultivating Imagination

As an actor, there is a need for constant observation and curiosity when developing an actor’s imagination. Rather than drawing up your own personal experience, Adler implies to actors to use real observations to fuel their imagination and create in-depth characters.

Elevating Characters

Adler famously told her students, “Don’t be boring”. In context, there is the need to think seriously about human nature and communicate important ideas to let actors reflect something larger than life within the characters.

Since you got the idea of what she aims for actors to achieve, let’s look into exercises that can help cultivate your acting skills.

Exercise #1 - Imagination

Pick an object and describe it. You can talk about the texture, colour, shape, anything just to describe the object. It may be awkward at first, but once you practice on describing things, you will find yourself to be faster in developing your imagination. Then take this exercise to next level by letting your thoughts travel through your mind. For example, a red lamp can remind you of ruby earrings a woman wore at a party you went to which reminds you of the music that was playing and so on and so on.

Exercise #2 - Paraphrasing

Pick a book and write down one idea from the book in your own words, then present it onstage to others. This lets you understand the idea, then respond to it and make it your own until you feel a real need to communicate it.

Exercise #3 - Inner-Justification

Randomly pick a simple line from a play you don’t know and bring it to life by imagining in details the reason why you’re saying that line. Try to make a strong choice, something that stirs you and creates conflict. This exercise helps actors experience their lines instead of just saying them.

In conclusion, Adler constantly challenges her students to think imaginatively and her techniques require a lot of hard work and dedication. All of these techniques are easily done at home whenever you have time and keep yourself occupied when being in the same room starts to bore you.

#3 Post - Acting Tips through Chekhov’s Techniques

Now that you have Meisner’s and Adler’s acting technique in the bag, why not learn one more and get yourself well rounded with techniques! As Michael Chekhov said, “Don’t we have the freedom to make the most of the best in all techniques? There are no prohibitions against it. All it takes is a little wisdom, imagination, and courageous experimentation.” I think you guessed it, but we’re going to teach you some Chekhov’s Techniques that you can try out yourself! :)

Mikhail Alexandrovich Chekhov was a Russian-American actor, director, author, and theatre practitioner born in Saint Petersburg. He was a nephew of Anton Chekhov who collaborated with Konstantin Stanislavski to do production of his plays. He was called Stanislavski's brightest student and was invited to join the prestigious Moscow Art Theatre. It was until 1927, when he did a production of The Case, he was "denounced by Bolshevik officials as an 'idealist' and 'sick artist'", so he forced himself to leave Russia and the Moscow Art Theatre to dodge arrest. He then came to Hollywood, where he taught film stars including Ingrid Bergman, Clint Eastwood, Marilyn Monroe, and Gregory Peck.

The aim is to find truthful moments onstage in a “psycho-physical” approach that develops your imagination while establishing emotion in physical action. This technique relies upon drawing emotion from both the mind, and the body as it helps for actors who are beginners because “psycho-physical” focuses on connecting their body more when saying their lines.

When approaching a script, these are the following steps using the “psycho-physical” technique:

Step 1: Create a gesture in your mind.

Your body is considered as an instrument and trained your body like a musician, constantly learning to move and portray with virtuosity. As an example, let’s look at the line, “Please don’t go.” Think about how your body will react to the line.

Step 2: Begin to rehearse the gesture. Make it huge, full of energy, and abstract.

Now that you got the gesture in mind, this time you got to test it out and give your 100 percent! Also, there’s no one way of doing the gesture, so it’s good to explore your body to find the intention of the gesture. Always be mindful of the intention in the gesture, so that it lets your mind remember physically.

Step 3: Continue doing the gesture in a large, non-realistic way, while saying the line.

When doing naturalistic acting, it always limits you to how you should express yourself as a character, so it’s best to be exaggerated as much as possible.

Step 4: Begin to make the gesture more realistic, while saying the line. Keep the energy!

Now you can tone down the actions, but make sure to keep the same energy when doing it exaggeratedly because the gesture should represent this desire of the character’s intention.

This is not part of the step, but always make time to reflect your experience on what you had experiment and see if the gesture is working out or not. Chekhov always makes his students question whether the gesture is helpful or not. The purpose of this technique is to make a bridge between your body and mind requires a lot of practice, but it does portray your character in an organic sense because the gestures come in naturally once you understand the significance.

In conclusion, Chekhov repeatedly challenges his students to use their body to find the intention of the character and build a strong relationship with your imagination. Hopefully, this technique works for you and you don’t scare off your friends or family when rehearsing at home (I will not be responsible for the weird looks :)

[shi-daisy]

The Phoenix and the Dragon

Yet again we've arrived at Ulquihime week! Gotta confess I'm not much of a Christmas person but I do look forward to December for my OTP week. Everyone puts so much love and effort into their entries that it's hard not to be excited. Okay so today's theme is Crossover and I wanted to pick something that wasn't likely to be repeated by someone else, so leave it to my nostalgic mind to go 'What about a Winx Club crossover?' Thus here we are! This little one-shot is based on one of my fave childhood shows and one of the first villain ships I ever had. (Yes, my 10-year-old self hardcore shipped Darkar & Bloom) 😅 Hope you like it! (Spoilers for some aspects of season 2 of Winx Club. I'm taking from the 4kids version of the show and Nickelodeon special btw. And some mild spoilers for the second movie.)

Also for those who do know the winx cast and want to know who is who in the crossover here it is.

Orihime- Bloom

Ulquiorra- Darkar/Avalon

Tatsuki- Stella

Shizuka- Layla

Ichigo- Prince Sky

Isshin- Errendor

Sora- Daphne

Unohana- Faragonda

Okay now that's all set, here's the fic!

@ulquihimeweek​

Ulquihime Week- Day 1 Crossover

The Phoenix and the Dragon

Orihime awoke in a dimly lit room. She didn't remember much, just going into Professor Schiffer's office and then...'And then he changed and turned into the Phoenix.'

"I can sense you. Just come out of the shadows already." She muttered.

Ulquiorra obliged, no longer looking like a human but in his true form as the Shadow Phoenix.

To her he didn't look much different, his skin was paler but his other features remained the same. He had large dark wings and a tail, along with tear markings.

"I should've known it was you. We get warmed about a Shadow Phoenix and next thing we know a new professor shows up at our school."

He chuckled. "Yes well, that didn't occur to you as we bonded, Ms. Inoue."

She lowered her head in shame. Since Ulquiorra arrived at Alfea he had become her favorite teacher, and even offered to teach her about her home kingdom, Sparx, which had been destroyed when she was just a baby.

"Is that why you brought me here? To taunt me?!"

"No, darling. I have other plans for you. Or should I say us?"

"I'll never collaborate with you!"

"You say that now, but you might change your mind after I explain my plans to you."

She frowned, but at the moment there was nothing she could do. Orihime sighed. "Fine. I suppose I can listen to you for a while."

"I appreciate it. First I must ask you something. What do you know about me, Orihime Inoue? Who do you think I am?"

"Headmistress Retsu told us you were once human. That you came to the underealm to try and find the shadow fire, but that it's power consumed you and that now you're seeking to take over the magic universe.

I also know that you came to our school and posed as a professor until now..."

"The headmistress is a wise woman, studious too since she appears to know my origins well, the one commonly excepted that is."

"What do you mean?"

"Indeed, I was once human, that I came here to study the Shadow Fire, but it's power didn't overtake me. For you see, I willingly submitted to it. I'm the one in control, always have been. And while I do wish to take over the magic dimension it is not for my own gain."

"Why else would you want to take over?"

"I want this dimension to change. I want to tear down the structures that bind its kingdoms. I've wanted that since I was a human.

You see, darling, the structures of this dimension are so very ancient and so very obsolete. The squabbles between kingdoms have led to so much war, to destruction, to sadness... Just look at what happened to Sparx."

"My kingdom was destroyed by the ancient witches. Not by war."

"You're right, but your kingdom had a close ally. An ally that should've saved you from the witches, yet instead bargained to have them take your kingdom and spare them. The king of Eraklyon made said bargain."

Orihime grew dizzy. 'No, no it can't be! Ichigo's father wouldn't do that! This is a lie!"

"You think I'm lying, don't you?"

"Of course you're lying! King Isshin wouldn't do that, neither would Ichigo!"

"Analyze the situation, darling. Eraklyon was your closest ally, and yet they didn't suffer any damage as Sparx was destroyed. Your parents vanished, your brother died saving you, your planet is now an icy wasteland. Yet Eraklyon stands as the richest land in Magix. As for your little prince, he was merely a child when this took place, but I don't doubt he'd keep it a secret from you, he has done so before."

Orihime felt as if her skin was catching fire. She hated to be reminded of that lie, to think back when Ichigo had hidden his royal lineage and engagement to a princess. She'd forgiven him, of course, and they were a couple once again, but deep inside she still distrusted him. And a part of her did think Ulquorra's words were true.

'Maybe that's why his father disapproved of us. Not because I'm a princess of a destroyed kingdom, but because my kingdom's destruction was partly his fault...'

"You see, darling. That's only one example of plenty I can give you. All of these realms need someone truly wise to rule them."

"Even if I believed you, that doesn't mean I'll join you. I don't want to kill anyone."

"Who said anything about killing? There are plenty of ways to dethrone a ruler. That's what I crave to do darling. Imagine it, a dimension without destroyed kingdoms, without arranged marriages, without squabbles for the throne. We'd be the only rulers, the royals would be our regents, they'd have to abide by what we demand."

Ulquiorra's eyes glowed green as he spoke. She had seen him like that before in his humanoid form. His eyes always sparkled as he thought her class about History and asked them to be part of the change.

"Ulquiorra, I think it's wonderful that you're trying to make the universe better, but I fail to see why would want me to join you. I'm no leader."

Orihime felt Ulquiorra's cold hand gently lift her chin. "Orihime, you're the only person I've ever met worthy of wearing such a crown.

The reason I posed as a teacher at Alfea wasn't to further my plans, or to steal the codex but to observe you. In just a few months you made such great progress that I couldn't help but be convinced you were worthy of sharing my crown, of carrying the dragon flame, of ruling over Magix.

You came from Earth yet quickly adapted to this dimension, to its power and its costumes. You're kind, fierce, strong, I couldn't ask for a better queen."

He noticed Orihime's pale skin turn bright red, and her sliver eyes grow misty. "No one's ever really praised me like that. Thank you."

He smirked. "I'll be sure to do so more often in the future then."

With a snap of Ulquiorra's fingers, her bounds disappeared. Orihime stood up, directly facing Ulquiorra.

He took her hands in his and directly stared into her eyes, silver meeting emerald. "Orihime Inoue, will you join me in my quest to bring peace and order to the magic dimension?"

It wasn't easy, she didn't want to leave her friends, her school, or even Ichigo. Even after what she learned it felt wrong to vanish without a word.

'But it must be done. Tatsuki-chan will be free to choose who she marries, Nemu-san won't be forced to follow the path her father wants for her, Shizuka-chan won't have to take the throne of the harmonic nebula...even Ichigo would now be free to make his own choices. This would be for the best.'

With a beautiful smile and newfound determination, Orihime finally responded. "Yes, I will."

"Then it is done, our power is now bound."

She could feel a surge of dark magic taking over, but it wasn't unpleasant. Her characteristic blue fae dress was now black and her fairy wings had turned grey. Orihime also noticed Ulquiorra's form slightly changed, his dark wings now had accents of green and he resembled his humanoid form a little more.

"It's the bond." He told her after noticing her confusion. "Light cannot exist without dark and vice versa. As such my darkness had to take some of your light and your light had to take some of my darkness."

Shadow Fire & Dragon Fire were united at last. Orihime was certain that now she and Ulquiorra would be unstoppable. 'We'll fix everything soon.'

"What shall we do now?"

"Since I've acquired all the pieces of the codex, I was thinking we could go to the Relix dimension. Your parents might've vanished there after the destruction of Sparx."

"My parents...I never thought it'd be possible to reach them."

"It is, my darling. We'll bring them back and then return Sparx to its former glory. After that, we can finally reshape the magic dimension into what it should've been from the beginning."

For the first in a long while, Orihime felt like she was doing things right. It would take her friends some time to forgive her, but she knew in time she would join them again. 'I'm doing this for all of us. For me, and for him.'

She gently kissed Ulquiorra's cheek, he blushed at the gesture. "I was not expecting that."

"I'm still a little miffed at you for pretending to be a professor but if we're to be in harmony as rulers this is a good place to start."

"Then I guess I should do my part too."

Ulquiorra wrapped his arm around her waist and gave her a passionate kiss. Orihime quickly blushed and playfully shoved him as he let go of her.

"Show off."

"Guilty as charged."

"Y'know, I remember seeing paintings back on earth with dragons and phoenixes together as a couple. Do you think that was a prediction?"

"It could be, after all, the most enduring romances are likely to echo through many universes."

[cilldaracailin]

Don’t Stop Me Now

Hello all my lovely Tumblr’s. Here is the next part to this story. Hope you all enjoy. Thanks for the likes on the previous part and the comments too.

2

“To conquer frustration, one must remain intensely focused on the outcome, not the obstacles.”

“I just cannot say sorry enough Taron. I really can’t.”

“Robyn it is ok.”

“No Taron it really isn’t. I just cannot explain to you how much I was looking forward to it and that is the God’s honest truth. I have my bloody case out and packed ready to go too.”

“Robyn, I swear it is ok. I understand.”

“And the dress.” Robyn stared at the dress Stella had sent back to her house three days after she had tried it on with a note that said ‘you’ll knock him dead’ attached. Robyn had hung it on the closer door ready to take on the plane with her on Saturday.

“It’s just a dress chicken. You can still wear it when you get home from your training on Saturday and walk around your sitting room and sit in my corner with cwtch.”

“Taron…”

“Robyn, please don’t say it again. I understand that sometimes these things happen.”

Robyn had been sitting at her desk in work on Wednesday when an email came into her work account for a training course that was happening for all management within her catchment area by the local childcare committee on the weekend of Elton’s charity auction. Compulsory training. Robyn had rang the committee to ask about the training and complain about the short notice but had no choice but to accept the fact that it was training that was now part of the childcare regulations and all management staff within each centre had to attend and their centres training was the coming Saturday. Robyn had asked if the training was available on another day but it wasn’t. She pleaded with them for another weekend but there was no leeway. With Emma away for a few days, Robyn was in charge of the creche and had no other option but to accept their places on the training course which started at eight am and finished at six. Then she had to call Taron and explain that she wouldn’t be able to come and see him and be by his side.

“I just feel like I am letting you down.”

“Robyn you could never let me down. Never. I can’t say I am not disappointed because I am but that’s because I would never lie to you. I understand how important your job is to you and how hard you have worked to get to where you are. We will get to see each other again.” Even though Taron was taking her news well, she could still hear the hurt in his voice. “You will definitely have to send me a picture of the dress now.”

“Taron I am so so sorry.”

“Robyn stop.”

“I promise the next weekend I have free; I am on my way over to you.”

“You do know I am back filming Kingsman next weekend, right? You will have to fly to New York to see me.”

“I am willing to do that Taron. I have some holidays left over.” He laughed a little. “I just can’t explain to you how mad I am because of all of this. I was looking forward to a squishy hug. What a fucking shit way to email about training. Apparently, they had emailed about it three weeks ago but we never got the bloody email and now there’s no choice but to go.”

“Robyn please stop beating yourself up over it.”

“I just so fucking annoyed over it.”

“Hey Robyn don’t start getting upset.” Taron could hear the emotion in her voice and he was working very hard to keep himself together with how disappointed she sounded .

“I really wanted to see you.”

“I know chicken. I wanted to see you too. I was looking forward to a head massage.” He was glad to hear Robyn laugh. “Look it is just one of those shit things that happen. We will make up for it.”

Robyn sighed. “I know. Could have been this weekend though.”

It was a sad goodbye, Taron promising he would ring her later on when she was finished work, both feeling utterly devastated that their reunion had been cancelled.

On Saturday, Emma had noticed how quiet but exasperated Robyn had been during their first three hours of learning about the new curriculum framework that was being introduced to early years education, Robyn almost hitting her head with frustration off the table she was sitting at. It was something herself and Emma were already trained in and both were blue in the face talking about with their staff and parents and Robyn knew the manual for the curriculum inside out and could not for the life of her figure out why the training was mandatory when she could have lectured on the topic herself.

“What has your knickers in a twist?” Asked Emma as they took a break for some tea and coffee. “No offense but you are in a fowl humour.”

Robyn crossed her arms over her chest, looking down at the shirt she was wearing, Taron’s shirt she had stolen. She might not have been able to see him over the weekend but she was going to do what she could to keep him in her thoughts for the whole day.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry Robyn. Jesus everyone has bad days but I haven’t seen you in a mood like this since you came home from Florida.” Emma took a drink from her cup. “What is up with you?”

“Nothing.”

“Look I know you are annoyed over the training. I completely understand that this has been your first weekend off in weeks and sitting here listening to it, I know I can read your mind: why on earth are we here when we practise this every day in work? I have been asking myself the same question but even though we know it back to front, it looks good to make an appearance especially after they gave us the funding for the garden.”

Robyn huffed and puffed, running her hands through her hair. “Yeah I know Emma. I know that it’s just... ugh fuck it. It doesn’t matter.”

Emma put her cup down and turned to her supervisor. “No Robyn it does matter. Something is seriously bothering you.” She watched as the blonde stared at the ground. “Robyn seriously, what on earth is going on.” She frowned when her heard muttering. “Ok use your words properly please.”

Robyn signed and looked up. “Taron.”

“Taron. Gorgeously handsome man who shared your bed for two weeks?” Robyn rolled her eyes. “Yeah ok Taron and what about him?”

Robyn uncrossed her arms. “I was supposed to be seeing him this weekend.”

“Wait, what?”

“He invited me, well no that’s a lie, well a half lie because I know he was heavily involved but I was invited to a charity auction held by Elton John in London this weekend and I was going to see Taron again. I got myself a beautiful fancy dress to wear too.”

“Sorry what?”

“You heard me. Taron and I were going to see each other again. Actually…” Robyn looked at her watch. “We should have been reuniting with each other about now.”

Emma held her hands up. “Ok wait. You were supposed to be meeting Taron this weekend, a man who you haven’t shut up about since you dropped him off at the airport and were invited to a party at Elton John’s house and you were going to wear a fabulous dress but yet you are here doing training? Fucks sakes Robyn!”

“It is mandatory training Emma!”

“It’s Taron!” Replied Emma.

“Yeah I bloody know that! But here I am and there he is across the pond.”

“Why the hell aren’t you with him!”

“Man-da-tor-ry training.” Repeated Robyn.

“For one of us Robyn.”

“What?” She asked. “I rang the lady who sent the email and she said that all management staff had to attend the training.”

“Robyn you could have gone to another weekend of training.”

“I asked that and I couldn’t. Only this one.”

Emma frowned. “Then why was I speaking to a manger from another creche earlier and she was telling me that the manger of their sister creche had a wedding this weekend and was scheduled to attend the training a different day.”

“What?” Robyn exclaimed, feeling tears start to pool in her eyes. “I double checked. I told Taron I couldn’t go with him.”

“You stay here.”

Robyn ran her hands down her tired face as Emma walked away from her, heading straight for the woman who was giving the training course. She couldn’t believe this was happening. The last three days had been torture for her and this morning had been painfully horrible as she got ready to go a training course rather than the airport. She had sent Taron a quick text of a rocket and a man and got her usual chicken and heart emoji back along with a shamrock too. She felt absolutely terrible that she had let him down and even though he had been so understanding, she knew he was hiding the hurt he felt.

“Right get out of here.” Emma walked back to her quickly.

“What?”

“I didn’t say this to you but that stupid bitch has no problem with rearranging the training for you.”

“What the fuck? I asked her on the phone…”

“And yes, I know this Robyn and I have already explained to her that this will not be the end of the conversation about it but you need to go.” Emma looked at Robyn’s slightly blank face. “Go to Taron!”

Robyn leant back against the table. “I cancelled my flights.”

“You did what? Robyn!”

“Well didn’t think I was able to go, did I?”

“What time is this big event at tonight?” Asked Emma as she pulled out her phone.

“It starts at seven. I was supposed to get getting ready with Stella at Elton’s house and then Taron and I were going to walk the red carpet together. It’s his first public appearance since Florida.”

“Jesus Robyn, you need to be there for that for him and Stella is?”

“His stylist? She helped me with my dress.”

Emma looked at her before she went back to her phone. “Right I can get you a flight at three thirty.”

“Emma is there any…”

“Don’t you even finish that sentence Robyn Quinn. Taron wanted you there for a reason and you are going to be there even if it is a little bit late. You can make an entrance. Let’s book you on this flight for three thirty. It will get you into London for four thirty and then you can make your way to Elton’s to get ready.”

“It will be too late by then Emma.”

“How much do you want to see Taron?”

“More than I can explain.”

“Then let me book the flight for you and go and see him. Do you have your dress?”

“Yes.”

“Ok then let’s book you a hotel room and you can get ready there and hop in a taxi to Elton’s. I can’t even believe I am saying that. What time had you booked home for Sunday?”

“It was around seven.”

“Ok I have one for eight. I am booking these flights for you Robyn and you are going to London to see him. You can go home and pack and be at the airport in time to catch the flight and still make the party.”

“It’s actually an auction for his charity.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Whatever Robyn. I am booking these for you now and you are going and then we are booking a hotel room for you to get ready in. Ok so you won’t have a celebrity stylist to dress you but I am sure you can do your hair and make-up. I don’t even think Taron will care. He will just want to see you. Look up hotel rooms Robyn. Come on. Then you call Taron and tell him you will be there, but shall arrive fashionably late.”

Robyn took her own phone from her pocket and googled hotel rooms in London. She looked up the Premier Inn as she had stayed in many before and found a room in the one in Holborn. “I can get a room.”

“Well book it now. I am just through with your flights. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this Robyn.”

“I was told the training was mandatory Emma.”

“Not the training but your trip to London. I know how much Taron means to you.”

“I just wanted to keep it quiet. It was going to be splashed all over the newspapers anyway.” Robyn choose the option to pay at the hotel and confirmed her stay for the night, even though she wasn’t going to be using the room to sleep.

“Flights confirmed. I used your email so the confirmation will come to you and I included a bag for you too.”

“I will pay you back every cent.” Said Robyn as she screen-shot her room confirmation.

“We can talk about that on Monday. Now get your arse out of here and home so you can pack and give him a call to tell him the good news.”

“He is going to have a heart attack and my case is already packed. I never unpacked it.”

“Then go Robyn.”

“Thank you so much Emma and I will make up the training.”

“Forget the training. You could teach this training yourself and thank me on Monday with stories of your glorious celebrity weekend.” Emma gave Robyn a hug. “And make sure you get as many of those hugs in as you can.”

With another hug, Robyn let her friend go and grinned. “I am going to see him.”

“Only if you make the flight. Now go!”

Robyn ran down the stairs of the building and to her car. It was half an hour’s drive back to Kilcreen and it gave her about ten minutes to grab what she needed before she had to drive to the airport. She promised herself, the next time she needed to get to an airport, it was not going to be a rushed journey but here she was racing against the clock again. Knowing she had to concentrate on driving home safely and get to the airport in once piece, Robyn decided that she would wait until she was actually sitting in the terminal to call Taron because she knew he would keep talking with his excitement and she needed to make use of the time she had to ensure she made the flight. Her mood had done a complete one eighty and as she drove, her smile grew. She was going to see Taron and get the squishy hug she had been so looking forward too since he had left her.

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

I just read your Riven fics and ommggg they are so good!! Idk if you are making a part three but I will definitely look out for it! I haven’t started the sly ones but I can’t wait!

Come back to me // part 2

Pairing: Riven x light!fairy

Breath caught in her throat, she felt her hands tremble as her eyes lingered on the envelope on her pillow. The handwriting is in the kind of black that speaks of nighttime dreaming. The letters are so typically Riven - messy and yet she could see the effort behind each and every word - To my Sunshine - .

It’s been a long time since he last wrote her a love note, far too long for her to truly remember what it said. She remembers how it made her feel - hopeful, elated, giddy. That’s all Riven needed to win her over - love notes he’d slip in her books whenever she wasn’t looking.

This time it felt different. The note brought anxiety, fear of what the envelope may hide inside. They barely speak nowadays and when they do, Riven is crude and too often she finds herself crying herself to sleep because of how convincing he is with his act. Sometimes she wonders if he’s acting at all or if that’s who he is with everyone but her and it makes her feel guilty. How can she still be questioning his loyalties?

Shaking her head, she releases a heavy sigh before her shaky fingers pry open the envelope. The paper inside is barely ink stained, a few words written for her aching heart.

“Still Your Asshole”

Chuckling, Y/N covers her mouth with an open palm, glancing at the door to make sure no one is nearby. It wasn’t a chuckle that seemed to stop as it turned into a cackle and that cackle turned into a sob. She didn’t know where the sobs came from, she just knew she couldn’t stop. As if the soul could bleed an ocean through the eyes, that was the enormity of her sobbing.

Screaming into her pillow, Y/N felt the rawness of her pain fully. It had revealed its ugly head and she couldn’t breathe. 

Riven may be hers but he isn’t. It takes a moment, a single mistake for him to be uncovered by Rosalind or Beatrix and he’d be taken from her. She’d never get to run her fingers through his brown hair, she’d never get to kiss his lips again or feel his hand in hers. He’d never tease her again, he’d never write her a new note or insist she needs him to teach her to fight. All of it would be gone in a blink of any eye and the severity of that realization choked the light out of her, even if for a little while.

She can’t always be the Sunshine. Clouds will eventually clear, but she needs the little bit of darkness and the sweetness it brings. Even if she’s in pain, even if the sadness threatens to suffocate her, she craves it. 

Riven makes her weak, he makes her vulnerable. She never dreamed she could care for a man like Riven, she certainly didn’t wish it, but she does. It’s more than caring for Riven, she’s way past that. Whatever wicked game he played to make her feel that way for him, it worked. She fell in love with Riven and now it’s consuming her.

Wiping her tears, she stashes the letter under her mattress before walking out in the sun. If she can’t be the light, she can at least get the warmth of another’s light.

She lays down on the damp grass, looking up at the sky. She looked at the sky like a man would look at a withered flower in which he no longer sees the beauty he plucked it for, thus destroying it.

This noble heart that beat only for the most tender of emotions had to be subjected to pain to learn the secret of life:

Love has to come at once, with thunder and lightning like a hurricane that wrecks havoc on your life, to shake you up and break the the heart like leaves off trees, to drag it into the abyss.

She’s in the abyss now.

“You can’t be here”, and then she hears his voice, pulling her away from the darkness. “Come on”, he whisper shouts as he takes her by the hands and helps her to her feet. 

She’s a little dizzy, disoriented by the sudden change in position. His eyes are on her, his face inches away and yet she feels like they’re a thousand miles apart. She doesn’t fight him as he drags her to the greenhouse, closing the door quickly so no one would see them.

“I got your note”, she’s the first one to speak. Riven turns to her with a small smile only for it to fall when he truly looks at her - puffy, red eyes and dry lips aren’t easily mistakable. 

He let out a slow controlled breath, “Is that why you cried?” Riven’s eyebrows furrow as he steps closer to her, his hands on his hips.

“I cried because I miss you!” She shouts, her fingers flickering alight and she knows she’s losing control. A shuddered breath passes her quivering lips, “I miss you and I’m worried about you and I hate you.” She says through gritted teeth and Riven can’t help but stumble back, confused.

“Me?” He raises his eyebrows, pointing his right index finger at himself, “What did I do?”

Scoffing, Y/N shakes her head. “YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU AND YOU’RE NOT EVEN HERE!” Covering her mouth, she turns away from him. She never told him that she loved him before and he never uttered anything close to it either. She feared looking at him and not have him say it back. After all, why would he?

“You love me?” Riven breathes out, still trying to collect himself. Crossing the distance between them, Riven wraps his arms around her. Pulling her back against his chest, he folds his hands over her abdomen. He’s holding on tightly, like she’s a dream he’s afraid to wake up from. 

“You love me?” He repeats in a whisper. Knitting her eyebrows together, she frowns and bites into the soft flesh of the inside of her bottom lip as his lips brush her earlobe.

“Yes”, she leans her head back on his shoulder, relaxing in his arms.

“Good.” Riven whispers and she snaps out of it, slapping his hands until he lets go. 

“Good?” She exclaims, her glare deadlier than a blade. 

“Yeah?” Riven chuckles, scratching the back of his neck.

“I tell you I love you and all you have to say is good?” She deadpans, before throwing her hands in the air, “Unbelievable.”

“Yeah. It’s good, because I’ve been in love with you for about a year now and it’s good to know you finally feel the same way.” Riven shrugs, “But go on. I like it when you’re angry.”

Rolling her eyes, she playfully slaps his chest, “Don’t fucking do that to me!”

“Did you just say a swear word?” Riven’s eyes widen, a grin much wider making Y/N blush.

“You’re really going to nitpick at my language instead of kissing me now when we finally got a moment alone in months?” She raises an eyebrow, tapping her foot nervously.

“I’m actually running late”, Riven wets his lips and yet he doesn’t move away, but closer to Y/N. All he can taste is the cherry chapstick she wore the first time they kissed. That was on a constant loop inside his head.

“We could run?” Y/N tries, but Riven only shakes his head.

“I spent my whole life running. I can’t betray Sky like that. He’s my brother.” 

Struggling to inhale, Y/N whispers, “And what am I to you?”

“The love of my life.” Riven blurts out without a second thought as his hands cups her cheeks, “You’re the only reason why I’m never going to give up.”

“You’re saying all the right words and my heart still hurts”, she sniffles, hoping she doesn’t cry again. She’s had enough of crying for a lifetime.

“I wish I could make it better, I do.” Closing his eyes, Riven leans his forehead on hers, “I love you with all I am. With all I’ll ever be.” Drawing in a sharp inhale, he holds his breath for a moment to stop tears from forming. “If I were a better man, I’d have let you go.”

“Don’t be the better man”, she croaks, her fingers curling his hair at the back of his head. “Be the bad guy. Just be mine.” And she kissed him. With a devastating sweetness, an innocence - as if this were the first time. Strong fingers curved about her jaw and warmth seeped into her bones, her skin, her soul.

The lips held to hers, reassuringly alive. Riven had reassured her by the strength of his arms surrounding her and the steady wilderness in his chest, beat of a heart not her own. 

She was no longer alone in misery. Someone was there, keeping her warm, holding the memories at bay and dangers of the world could no longer get to her. Her lips softened; tentatively, she returned the kiss with all her heart.

Breaking the kiss, Riven’s arms leave her, the warmth going with him. She stumbles, catching her breath. 

Riven glances at his phone only to swear under his breath and she knows something’s happened.

“Listen to me”, Riven swallows thickly, “Stay with Stella and the rest tonight.”

“Why”, Y/N frowns, folding her arms across her chest.

“Don’t ask questions, please.” Pecking her lips, Riven takes a few steps back, “If you love me as much as you say you do, go now and stay with the girls. I’ll try to contact you as soon as I can.”

“Riven”, Y/N raises her voice, unnerved and anxious about his behavior. 

“Sunshine, please”, his voice softens and she nods, licking her lips. Before she can say a word, he manages a smile, “I’ll come back to you. I will.” 

And that’s when he leaves and Y/N does as he asked. But the nagging feeling inside her chest is relentless - something bad is happening and someone is going to get hurt.

Part 4 

[jawnjendes]

can’t see in the stormy weather | shawn mendes

university au, shawn x goth gf

NOTE: this is NOT the new series. this is a one shot that takes place during the early stages of their relationship... you’ll find it in the Season 1 section of the masterlist :) 

goth gf playlist | masterlist

When Shawn asked me to make a playlist describing who I am, I almost threw myself back to California. I don't know what it is about people wanting to know things about me, but it's annoying. I detest it.

It's not like he made me a playlist full of sappy love songs. He just wanted to hear songs I identify with. That was borderline terrifying because Shawn is a musician. He lives and breathes music and analyzing lyrics and melodies. What's he going to think if he finds Halsey's "Without Me" or 5SOS's "Invisible?"

Oh yeah. I deeply project whatever bits of me I discover onto songs. Then I stick to those songs and keep them on repeat and I make sure no one knows about them because then people would know things about me. It's irrational and unrealistic but that's how my stupid brain works. Anyone who's ever known me needs to disappear! They can't have the luxury of knowing me and all my secrets! What the fuck would I do if Shawn and I broke up? I'd have to kill him, that's what.

"What, are you gonna kill me too if we stop being friends?" Stella asked. "Seriously, it's just a playlist. It doesn't have to be that deep."

"I told you what the prompt was, right?" I replied.

"Yeah. And that is because Shawn knows you don't verbally express yourself about… anything. So he gave you a different outlet."

Fuck, I thought I was the psychology major here.

Yes, it was easier to let Shawn in through ways where I didn't have to say things out loud and explicitly. I had to admit that. But he was still going to find out things I had yet to tell him. Important things apart from the anxiety and semi-regular therapy sessions.

"Why don't you just pick generic songs you like, and not the ones that reveal too much?" Stella suggested.

I scoffed. "I'm closed off, I'm not a liar."

"It's not lying. Everyone's favorite song means something. I was listening to Big Time Rush when I touched down on Toronto for the first time. Everytime I hear Boyfriend I think about how I successfully made it out of my parents' house."

As nice as that sentiment was, I couldn't bring myself to find ways around the prompt. I had to do what Shawn said: compile a bunch of songs that I feel represent who I am. Besides, making playlists is… really fucking fun.

~

It took an hour of adding, removing, and very specific placements, but I was happy about my playlist to the point where I was nervous. I sent the link to Shawn the next morning when I knew he was on the way to the gym. Figured he’d listen to it during his morning workout and get it overwith. But no.

No.

Basically, I’m a fool who forgets she’s dating a musician.

So here I was, thinking that Shawn would make of what he will about the songs I chose and we would never talk about it. Wow, was I fucking wrong. How did I not expect Shawn to want to know the why?

He was a little sneaky about it too. Shawn invited me over to his place after my classes, and why the fuck would I say no to that? Of course I went over, internally cursing myself for not shaving my legs the night before. He usually had the TV on and a steaming mug of chamomile ready for me whenever I came over no matter the circumstance. Today there was only tea, and a stupidly excited Shawn.

“We have music to listen to you today!” he said when he had me on his couch.

He knew I wouldn’t play dumb either. And because of the fact that I was looking at his stupid beautiful face, I couldn’t move away from this topic.

“Cool…” I said stiffly.

Jet Black Heart - Live

He pulled up the playlist, which I had titled with the black heart emoji, and hit shuffle. Completely going against the very intricate order I put each song in. He was surprised to hear an audience screaming at the first song, but he recognized the tune that came shortly after.

“Why’d you pick this one?” he asked, his arm going around the back of the couch, watching me with his stupid pretty eyes.

I chuckled. “It’s a goth joke! Everything about me is dark, even my heart!”

“And there’s a hurricane underneath it?” Shawn guessed. He really was going to pick apart the lyrics and apply them to me, huh? “Any reason why it’s the live version?”

The answer wasn’t anything too telling or cheesy. It was still hard to maintain eye contact as I explained. “Stella introduced me to this band. She dragged me to a 5SOS concert and now it’s our tradition to see them whenever they tour.”

“Is this your favorite song?”

“Live, yeah. It just reminds me of feeling so alive. Concerts are the only times I feel that way.”

Shawn grinned at the sentiment. He seemed happy with that answer and sang along to the rest of the song.

“And there’s your deep shit of the day,” I said when it ended.

“I want more.”

What I’m Made Of…

I felt a tiny pit in my stomach. I knew this song, and I knew that Shawn did not know this song. He was looking down at the album cover on his phone, thinking to himself. Then, he turned to me expectantly.

“So…?”

“Just enjoy the lyrics and the sick guitar solo.”

He was quiet for a minute. “Well, I do get your vibes from it. But you’re also reluctant to show me what you’re made of.”

I hesitated. “It’s uh, a battle song. I’ll fight someone for trying to forcibly take anything from me.”

“Like if somebody jumped you?”

“Physically, mentally, emotionally. Yeah.”

Again, silence. “You gonna fight me?”

I knew he was joking, and I cracked a grin. “Jury’s out.”

“Any reasoning behind this soundtrack?” He showed me the cover, and I internally tried not to panic.

I had plucked the song off the wrong album, and now Shawn knew I was a fan of a certain speedy blue creature.

So much for being cool and mysterious. I’m just a fucking nerd now.

“Nah, not at all,” I casually replied.

Honestly, I enjoyed this song. I love this song. Why else would it be on this playlist? But just this once, I wanted to skip to the next one.

And when the next one came, I wanted to skip again.

I Am… All of Me

“Do, do you kin a certain hedgehog?” Shawn asked, once again amused by the album cover.

“No…” I resisted rolling my eyes.

“This song definitely sounds like you. Tell me, am I dating a hedgehog?”

Suddenly, this felt less nerve wracking and more annoying. I sighed heavily.

“I thought you wanted to know more about me.”

He chuckled. “Hey, I’m trying. I’m interpreting all these songs in whatever way I can because you won’t explain them to me. Plus, this song is from a video game.”

“Did it occur to you that maybe I like the game this song came from? Maybe I casually like this whole franchise because-” I stopped myself upon seeing Shawn’s face light up, like he wanted me to go on.

But no, he made fun of me. This song is now void, and he will not get an answer.

“Because?” he coaxed.

“Because nothing.” I grabbed his phone out of his hand and skipped to the next song.

Without Me

“Oh, who hurt you?”

“You already know that story. Next!”

Wilson (Expensive Mistakes)

I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.

Shawn looked at me for a moment, still trying to analyze the fuck out of my song choice. “I gotta say, I was expecting more goth music. You listen to a lot of mainstream artists.”

“There’s no rule saying I can’t. Mainstream artists are popular for a reason.”

“Touche. So why this song?”

“It’s what people think I am. Grumpy, bitter, always in black.”

"But that's not all you are." Shawn held his hand out to me, and I took it. He looked down at my chipped polish, running his fingers over my nails. "I mean, you are grumpy. Bitter? No, I'd say realistic. Always in black? Yeah, and you look beautiful all the time because you feel good in it."

That last part struck me. At least I didn't look odd to him. He didn't fall for the tough exterior I've built for myself. That little fact was both touching and terrifying.

"I know there's more to you than the way you dress yourself. It's why I like you so much." He grinned.

Cry With a Smile

"There's the goth metal you were looking for!" I exclaimed.

"Mm, your sense of belonging, as you put it. I know all about this already."

And he skipped to the next song.

A Little Too Much

Shawn perked up a little bit, a smile growing on his face. Then he looked at me, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "Is that me?"

Now my cheeks burned. "Yeah. This song feels like a callout."

"Babe…" He was still smiling as he leaned in to cup my face and kiss my forehead.

"Yeah, can you believe? I get tired of being a hardass sometimes." I was only half joking.

Not a lot of people knew my deal with anxiety and depression, much less why they intensified over the last couple of years. The urge to tell Shawn everything was beginning to form in my throat but I kept pushing it down. He looked too happy, and I didn't want to bring that down.

"You don't have to be a hardass around me," he said sweetly. "Actually, please don't be a hardass around me, okay? Everyone has their limits."

Then, he skipped to the next song, because he was sick of his own voice.

Fist Bump

Shawn looked at me once again, a grin on his face. Here we go again.

“I’m noticing a trend here.”

“I like this franchise, okay?”

“Okay, kinnie.”

I rolled my eyes and sat back, scrolling on my phone to diffuse the frustration. What was the point if he was just going to make fun of me?

“Hey.” Shawn gently placed his hand over my phone, getting me to put it down. “I’m only kidding. You can laugh.”

My eyes narrowed.

“I’m serious! Look, maybe if you just tell me what these songs mean to you, I’ll understand better. Just give me a chance.”

His eyes didn’t show any bit of deceit… But that’s how they all are. And everytime, I’m always a fool. So I sighed and tried not to cringe at my own words.

“It’s lame… and stupid… and really stupid. But all those silly little video game songs? They…” I exhaled, and chipped at my nails. “You know I deal with… anxiety and everlasting sadness…”

“You mean depression?” Shawn corrected.

“Yeah, whatever,” I went on. “The world is full of some real shit, and, and the songs and the games…” I made a face and looked down. “They’re comforting.”

It was silent for a minute before a hand went and cupped my chin. I was met with Shawn’s eyes and glowing smile. But then he opened his mouth and the most baby baby voice came out.

“Does Sonic make yew feew bettew?”

I smacked his hand away. “I swear to-”

But I didn’t finish that statement because he tackled me in a hug.

“Kidding, kidding! I’m sorry, baby, that was the last one, I promise!” He kissed the side of my head before leaning back to look at me. “I think it’s really cute you like this series.”

“It’s not cute, it’s self care,” I mumbled.

Head Above Water

“Finally, a song I know!” Shawn exclaimed, and he dove into singing along.

I forgot I put that one on the playlist. I meant to take it off. It only made me more nervous that Shawn already knew this song. He was one step closer to unlocking the big one.

He sounded beautiful as he sang, lost in the melancholy melody. I watched him, trying not to give anything away through my face alone. It was getting harder to keep it together, just from the little things I had already told Shawn.

And so came the inevitable expectant look. “So? Depression? Religion?”

Part of me wanted to let him think that. Depression is common, it’s easier to explain than the real reason. Besides, it’s not a lie. I do have my dark days, and even darker periods. But depression isn’t the reason for this song.

“Nope,” I replied.

“You know, Avril Lavigne wrote this when she was really sick.”

Dammit, he does know what this song is about.

I sighed heavily. “How do I put this in a way that doesn’t sound scary or pathetic?”

“You’re sick,” Shawn guessed with a chuckle. But the look on my face changed the mood, and he went serious. “How bad are we talking?”

“I get sick… every so often,” I explained. “It’s nothing scary, it’s just… chronic IBS. I can manage it, I just have to be careful with what I eat.”

He nodded as he listened. “So it’s not that bad, but it’s enough for you to have a whole song about being sick?”

I hesitated. “There’s another song, actually.”

“Two?” Shawn shifted in his seat. “So that must mean it’s a bigger deal to you than you’re making it out to be.”

And he thinks he doesn’t know me well enough.

I didn’t like talking about my health problems, unless it was with my doctor. I didn’t talk about how annoying all this shit was outside my therapist’s office. Anytime I felt frustrated about food, I talked myself down because it could literally be worse. Why would I whine about something so mundane?

“You know you don’t have to tone it down for me,” Shawn added when I stayed quiet for too long. “And, if it helps… now I understand why you read restaurant menus so carefully.”

“Like I said, I have to be careful.” My voice went thick for a moment, so I coughed. “I eat the wrong thing, and I end up sleeping in the bathroom til the wrong thing is out.”

“So it’s frustrating to deal with this all the time?”

“Yeah… and I spent two and a half years not knowing what was wrong with me, two and a half years going to the doctor more times than a young adult should for their age… two and a half years thinking I might die…”

Shawn’s eyes widened. “Years?”

“We went to a doctor in Mexico, and he finally diagnosed me with IBS,” I explained. “But that was after the words ‘lymphoma’ and ‘tumor’ were thrown into the mix. It’s not really something you forget. Oh, and I hate vomiting. I hate it so much that I can’t be in the same room as someone who might be queasy. So that’s annoying.”

“Wow…”

I suddenly felt a little self conscious. “I know it’s stu-”

“If you say stupid one more time,” Shawn cut me off. “This is the least stupid thing you could be talking about right now.”

“My anxiety links back to food, too. Think that’s important to mention.”

“Is that why you always want to go back to your dorm after a dinner date?”

Oof, so he noticed. I stayed quiet, so Shawn continued.

“I can take care-”

“No,” I said immediately. The last thing I needed was my boyfriend seeing me have a meltdown because I ate something spicy. The last thing I needed was for anyone to see me have an anxiety attack after vomiting. “It’s not your job.”

Shawn reached over to cup my cheek. Only then did I realize I had been tearing up, and he was wiping it away.

I turned my head away, dabbing at my eyes with my sweater sleeves. I didn’t want to look pathetic and I failed.

“I have to ask,” he said after a moment, “have you gotten sick at all since we started dating?”

“It is a chronic illness that I have.”

“And you just… you just took care of yourself? While you were sleeping in the bathroom?”

“Like I’ve always done since I left home.”

“Impressive. I always call my mom when I feel sick, and she comes over every time.”

I was honestly surprised. I was expecting him to be upset because I never called him in my time of need. And that alone, made more tears well up in my eyes.

“Hey,” he said, scooting closer to me. “It’s okay. You probably went through a lot before you got diagnosed. It’s frustrating, I can see it weighing on your shoulders. Just tell me if there’s anything I can do for you.”

I could feel him looming over me, waiting for me to fall back in his arms. The song had long since ended, and it wasn’t about the playlist anymore. Shawn was just waiting for me to do something. I couldn’t bear to look at him, because his kindness and understanding would make me break even more. He really was too kind, far more than I expected.

Even when I said nothing, and he took out his phone. I thought he got bored, but his next prompt made me look up at him.

“Okay, so that barbeque restaurant we went to the other night, we had spicy buffalo wings for an appetizer, so we won’t have those again. Any other food that might make you sick?”

I stared for a moment before I caught another tear with my sleeve. “Um… can we skip that whole restaurant? Barbeque and my stomach don’t mix.”

Shawn typed, and the only sound in the room was his clicking keyboard. “Got it. No more barbeque. Any other place or food to avoid?”

“It’s a long list…”

“That’s why I’m writing it down.”

_______

goth gf taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @someoneunimportantxx @goldenmndes @ruinhoney @calyumthomas @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @parkeraul @havethetimeeofyourlifee @chillingbythesea @wronglanemendes @softmendesss 

[chancemedley116]

I would love to know all the music asks tbh, but if that's too much all at once feel free to skip questions at your discretion lolol

hoo boy, well I guess I’m not really doing anything right now. let’s do this.

your favorite album opener - Stay Frosty Royal Milk Tea on FOB’s newest album. What a ride.

a song starting w/ the same first letter of your first name - Cosmic Love by Florence + the Machine. A timeless favorite.

a song outside of your usual genre - Rodeo by Garth Brooks. My favorite country song of all time, and I have no idea why.

a song that reminds you of your favorite season - Mt. Washington by Local Natives makes me think of fall, probably because I first heard it from Life is Strange lol

a song from a lifelong favorite artist - Breathe Your Name by Six Pence None the Richer

your current “on repeat” song - Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks

a song your friend introduced you to that you ended up loving - Television Romance by Pale Waves

a song that speaks the words you couldn’t say - Like Everybody Else by Lennon Stella

a song that captures your aesthetic (can be ideal!) - Ideally it’s Pisces by Jinjer.

a song about the place where you live - Literally no idea. SKIP!

a song from an international artist - In For The Kill by La Roux

a song you can scream all the words to - That’s What You Get by Paramore

a reboot of a song/songs you already loved (remix, mashup, acoustic, etc.) Africa by Toto covered by Ninja Sex Party

a song with the name of a place in the title - Hotel California by The Eagles

a song that reminds you of traveling - Anything by Rick Astly or Huey Lewis and the News. We had ONE roadtrip cd when I was 11 for a 3,000 mile trip.

your favorite childhood song - Chemicals React by Aly and AJ

a song that reminds you of a good time - When You Were Young by The Killers

a song that reminds you of a bad time - Must Have Done Something Right by Relient K

a song from an artist whose old music you enjoy more than their new music - Anything by Paramore. It’s just not the same as it was during Riot/Brand New Eyes

a song that empowers you - Hunger by Florence + the Machine

a song from a local artist - SKIP again. I have no clue lol

a song you related to in the past and present, but for different reasons - The Outsider by Marina and the Diamonds

your favorite cheesy pop song - Let’s Get it Started by The Black Eyed Peas

a song from a soundtrack (musical, movie, video game, etc.) - I’m all about soundtracks, so any Zelda game, the OTGW soundtrack, or the Psychonauts soundtrack.

the song currently stuck in your head OR the song you are listening to right now - the second I read this question the Pina Colada song popped in my head, and I hate that song. So thanks.

a song that taught you a lesson - King of Anything by Sara Bareilles

an instrumental song - any song by Chad Lawson

a song you always skipped, but ended up loving once you listened to it - Jet Pack Blues by FOB

your favorite album closer - Plant Life by Owl City

your all-time favorite song - I have a really hard time picking this one, because I never think about it in the moment. Probably Shiver by Coldplay. Why did it have to be a Coldplay song???

Anywho, I hope someone reads this. I did have fun doing it. Thanks for asking!

[geekygoddesss]

Not a Hero (5SOS!Marvel)

I don’t think it was too early to state I’m obsessed with this guy, in fact, I think I’m right just in time to call this official. I, (Y/n) Marie Stark am completely head over heels over Luke Hemmings. Funny thing, though, I don’t think he knows me at all. Well, not wanting to sound like an asshole, but it’s hard not to know me, being the “Tony Stark daughter”, Rich Kid, Daughter Of a hero and all-time celebrity, that I was, it was pretty hard for me to be unnoticed in a sea of teenagers eager to be someone in this world. However (thanks god) not everyone seemed to know I existed after a good while of assisting to that private school, much of the people in there didn’t talk to me, afraid to say the wrong words or something they would regret later, I had that reputation, I could easily spot fake interest and actitudes with ease, one of my not so many talents, but even when people evict me for being like that, I still managed to have my group of friends, my small and totally perfect group of friends that I would never change. 

But in all of the people that evicted crossing paths with me at school, I didn’t need any of them, I just needed to cross one, his, just a couple of words, maybe just a hello is what I really need from him so I can feel complete. He was just… him, and I wanted to know everything about him. He’s been on my mind for the last two and a half months, pretty much ever since I first saw him, he rocked my world, we shared one class together and I was pretty sure, this is not a casualty, he needed to be in that class with me, I know that. “(Y/n), are you even listening?” I hear Stella’s voice over the screen in front of me, groaning with a very annoyed tone and waving at me, trying to get my attention over the camera of her Laptop “there’s something that might interest you here. Hello?” “I’m listening” I mumble loud enough so she heard me loud and clear. I was too distracted by the actual situation that was going on in front of me.  My eyes were planted on the hundreds of cables spread in front of me, I was trying to figure it out what to do. “I’m kind of busy but trust me, I’m all ears” “Did you break them again?” She asks I can see her roll her eyes at me. Yeah, this was not the first time this happened. “Yes” I say looking at her shortly “and next time, can you say it lower? Someone could hear you, you know?” I mumble, moving a couple of cables in front of me. “Sorry” She shrugs After my dad became the iron man and a lot of crazy things happened in our entire life, it was his and my decision that it was better for me to have a self-defence weapon, I couldn’t go around with bodyguards all the damn time but neither I could go to the street alone without something to defend myself with. That is why for almost three years I’ve been carrying around the most badass wristband in the history, my lovely weapons, my best friends. I loved them, way too much. I loved them so much I could almost never retain myself on trying to improve them every time, and those time lead me to moments like this. Moments were they fail me and I have to make them function without no one else noticing. Dad was not a big fan of me messing around one of his creations. I could do so many things with them. I could shot in case of emergency, lift heavier things, send electroshocks, contact people, use it as a watch and a thousand things more. Too hard to explain, but there were so many things that I could make them do, I just had to make it happen, Just like I did now. My little experiment could probably cost me some damaged wristbands and a week grounded. Yeah, I was not allowed to alternate them at all. “I put a magnet inside so I could lift things” I explain to her “failed” “Wait, what?” She laughs at me “magnet? Why? And how is it failing?” I sigh and repeat myself, being very careful with the volume of my voice, I didn’t need anyone listening to this conversation right now “I tried lifting my bike and hit myself in the crotch, I’m not any proud it” I say still staring at the exposed magnet on my wrist “there has to be a way to level its power” She nods, understanding my little situation “Okay, I don’t know how you level a magnets power” she brushes the topic away just like that  “but one thing is for sure, you need help, take a break” she suggested, I see her lean back on her seat and spin her chair around, she had a smile on her face, a smile that told me she had news, great news. “Oh Stella you’re always so helpful” I roll my eyes  “what were you saying anyways? I could use some distraction” I tell her, she jumps in her seat and gets closer to the camera, I could tell she’s been dying to tell me this for a while. “Well, I’m glad you ask” she smiles “this is purely of your interest so listen up” she said in all seriousness “the guy you like, Hemmings, tall, blonde hair, incredibly. Attractive” She counts “he’s totally single and I know where he works at” Ok, she totally got me. “Keep talking”  I say looking up at her, she’s dangerously smirking at me with that look I was so afraid of. “He got a job like two weeks ago in that pizza place near your house” She announces, dropping it like it was a bomb, don’t get me wrong, it was kind of a big deal, I just don’t know what to do with that new information. “Little Caesar’s?” I ask, just double checking the actual place he worked at. “Yeah” She nods at the camera like she was looking at me dead in the eye  “guess what’s the best part?” “Enlighten me” She shrugs “I mean, it’s kind of obvious” she says  “people from our school hardly come to that place, or anyone” she points out, that was so true “and he works on the last shift, which is pretty much right now!” she cheers. “What?” I say looking at the clock on my wall  “How do you know that?” “I have my contacts” she brags, giving a spin on her chair  “are you going to pay him a visit or what?” I raise my eyebrows in surprise, before looking down again on my wristband “What? No” I answer “What am I going to say? ‘Oh hey, I’m in your math class we should go out’” I say shifting some cables from one place to another “That sounds lame” “That’s exactly what you should say” she says laughing  “but maybe you could buy some pizza and ask for his phone number” she suggested and for some reason that didn’t sound like a bad idea. “Alright” I said, already being over with this conversation, I had things to do and I knew that after her proposal there probably were a thousand more crazy ideas that would be incredibly embarrassing to do “Stel, Thank you taking the time to research, all of this” I say shortly looking at her “But I really can’t go out right now, my wristbands are broken and I have curfew” I say while placing another cable in a different place, but it collapses and shocks me in the process  “Ah!” I whine taking my tweezer away from the wires. there was a bit of smoke coming out from the wristband I was working on. I really hope that didn’t mean something too too bad. “Ha!” she says laughing at me “Hey, I’m just saying, you should totally pay him a visit, talk to him” she says like it was the easiest thing ever “because there is no way you will do that at school” “What?” I say, she got my attention again “I can talk to a guy at school” “Dude, I’ve known you for years, no you can’t” she fights me. “You’re being rude” I glare at her through the camera, I decided, I was done talking to her about this or anything right now, again, I had things to do and homework to get done “that’s it, I’m hanging up on you, I got better things to do” “Don’t be like that!” She says rolling her eyes at me  “(Y/n)!” she says when I ignore her call. “See you in school!” “(Y/n)!” she yells and I hang up the call

It is not like I hate Stella, she’s actually one of my best friends, I’ve known her for a long time, ever since I moved to New York she’s always been around with me and I had a lot of fun with her, but this was one of the many time when I had a very short patience with her. Yes, I am not the kind of person who talks to boys, neither I am the kind of girl who has boyfriends, now that I am almost 18, she’s been trying to get me to talk with so many guys that it was actually becoming annoying.

Not that I had never wanted to date someone, I actually constantly wondered what it felt like, I just wasn’t ready yet, I needed more time before I got involved in my very first relationship, it had to be with the right person, not just with any guy around.  However, I didn’t completely agree with what Stell just said, I was completely able to talk to any guy I wanted to if I felt like it, I could ask a guy out anytime, no big deal, right?.  

Yeah, I was not the most confident person in New York, or the prettiest one, but It didn’t mean I was not going to be able to ask someone out, I could do that if I wanted to, I could ask ten guys out if I felt like it and I bet they would all say yes, though it might not be that possible and that could probably end in disaster, but that wasn’t the point, I am (Y/n) Stark, I can ask someone out, In fact, screw it, I am going to do it now, Stell could start eating her words now.

I place all the wires back to their place in a couple of quick moves and shut the metal wristband closed around my wrist. I know I shouldn’t really go out with it being broken like it was now, But nothing was going to happen, I think.

I turn around look at my dog, laying on my bed and looking at me just like any other night, she always does that and it was incredibly adorable in my opinion.

“What do you think, girl?” I ask her and she sits up when seeing I am directly talking to her “Maybe we could pay him a little visit” I say getting up my chair and caressing her blonde fur for a short second. “Friday, call Dad” I order to the AI that runs the house. “Calling Mr. Stark” her robotic voice says and in less than thirty seconds I could see my dads face through my monitor, he was not looking at me, he was working on something else in the workshop downstairs, typical. “Honey, I’m busy, I can’t deal with any broken headphones right now” he says still not looking up at me. “My headphones are perfectly fine” I shrug “Wristbands, then?” he asks and I panic for a second, How did he know? oh wait, he didn’t, yet “Leave them around, I’ll fix them by tomorrow, We’ll talk about that later” he groans “No” I shake my head in denial “it’s not that, Can I-?” “Why are you up so late?” he interrupts me and looks up at me through the camera “It’s 10, it’s dark, it’s school night, you should be sleeping right now” he points at me with some kind of tool he was using. “I know but can I ask you something?” I say in a not very nice tone, I hated when anyone interrupted me like that, I make sure to set it down before I make my question if what I wanted was to get his permission.

“Em, yeah sure” he says looking down at his work again “Except if you’re asking for me to let you go to a party, that’s not happening” he says in that very characteristic sarcastic tone of his. “It’s not that” I chuckle looking back at Aries, my dog “I think Aries wants to go for a walk” I explain “she’s going crazy in here” I lie. I hope that was convincing “At night?” he says, being a bit weird out “That's weird, I bet she’s very tired, Peper told me you took her running after school”

Damn it, yes I did, I forgot about that. “I did but let me finish” I say in a very light and not as natural tone “she could use a walk and I could use some pizza” I explain “can I please go to the pizza place and take her with me?” I say almost in a begging tone.

“You’re kidding” “I am not” I say in all seriousness “We had dinner together” “Did we?” I say acting like I didn’t remember at all. “Yeah, I remember” he says looking up at me kind of confused by my request. I don’t blame him, I never usually went out at night. “Oh, I guess I’m still hungry” I shrug. “Then eat” he looks down again. “Or order it, whatever” “I just really want pizza” I pout at the camera, he doesn't really look up at me  “Aries is driving me crazy” I try again but he still says “I’m on my period, okay?” I say as my last resource. This always worked. “Let’s not go there” he says waving his hand at the camera and brushing what I just said away “Okay, you win, go to the pizza place, whatever” he says to then add “bring something for me” “Classic?” I guessed, just wanted to make sure I didn’t mess up his order. “the Large one” he specifies “and I want those wristbands on, be here in an hour, not a minute later than that” he says looking at me through the monitor with the most serious look  “don’t make me send happy for you” he warns “Got that boss” I say nodding at the camera “I’ll be Right back, I love you” “Love you too” he responded with a short nod “be careful” “I will”  I say with a short smile before hanging up the call completely.

That was easier than I thought it would be. Nice.

I grab my sweater and slide my shoes on real quick before grabbing the leash by the door and looking back at Aries, she was already running like crazy around the room. “Aries, lets go for a walk” I say and she freaks out. I was literally making this her best night ever.

“Okay, okay” I take a deep breath before walking in front of the pizza after a fifteen-minute walk from my building. I stop just before I can come across the clear glass that covered the store and he could see me, I lean a little and in fact, there he is, doing his duty as a cashier all alone, the store was completely empty. I walk to the bicycle stop and find a spot to tie up Aries’s leash. I find one and kneel on the floor, making sure I made a good knot that wouldn’t let her run away or go in the store for me.

I take a look at her and smile, she was sitting in beside her tied up leash and looked at me while moving her tail from side to side, she was too happy, I was too nervous. “Stop looking at me, you’re making me nervous” I mumble to her and caress her fur  “Do you think he will like me?” I ask her and obviously, she doesn’t say anything, but she does lick my face once before I get up, I hated when she did that but right now it was kinda cute  “I’m talking to a dog” I point to myself “I can do this” I say, giving myself a bit of motivation “I got this”

The moment I step into the store I almost froze when he looks at me and I really wish there were more people in the room, but it was just me and Luke, perfect. I walk towards the very front of the store shooting him a little smile.

“Hi” I say in a small voice that came out a little too high. Damn, you, Stark, control yourself.

“Welcome to little Caesars, how can I help you?” he says almost in a monotone voice, he looked tired, I could tell by the little darkness under his eyes, but he still looked incredibly attractive like usual.

I look like an idiot, for a solid thirty seconds I just stay still looking at him with a lame smile in my face, he looks at me weird and I get it, I looked pretty weird, but the moment I see he is waiting for me to order, I snap out of my little trance  “Oh” I say realising what I was doing  “I’ll take two classics and two large cokes”

“Would that be all?” he says tapping on the screen in front of him very quickly.

“Um, yeah” I nod awkwardly, pulling a twenty dollar bill from my back pocket and passing it to him. There’s a silence between us, just the sound of the cashier being open and him collecting, I had to say something before there was no way to restore a conversation. Think (Y/n), think.  “I’m sorry, Do I- Do I know you?” I stutter, trying my best to not sound as lame as it could “I’m sorry you just look very familiar”

“Oh yeah, I’ve seen you around” he says with a little smile “You’re the Stark girl, aren’t you?”

My cheeks instantly blush “That’s me” I mumble with a shy smile “You’re in my math class” I say and slightly panic, I didn’t want to sound creepy, this sounds kind of creepy “I think” I add, trying to fix my last words.

“You’re in Miss Peterson's class?” He asks with a bit of a smile “I guess I didn’t see you there”

“Yeah, I’m not really friends with anyone in that class, I don’t talk to anyone” I chuckle nervously “I’m (Y/n), by the way” I say introducing myself formally.

“Luke” He says shaking my hand kindly  “(Y/n), Nice name” He says smiling at me.

“Thanks” I smile and I feel my cheeks heating up once again  “You didn’t know my name?” I ask curiously, It really sounded like it was the first time he heard it.

“Not really, shocking, i know” he laughs with a shrug  “I just I don’t know, i just never heard it around”

I nod, I understand, I’ve come across people that didn’t know me either and that’s totally fine, it didn’t happen as often, but it was totally fine when it did. “Are you from here?” I ask him. I didn’t even need to ask that though, I knew the answer already.

“No, not really” he said with another shrug “How did you notice?”

“Well, I first saw that you’re skin is tanner than most of the guys around, and I could be really lame and makeup something to seem like I know everything on how to know someone’s ethnicity at first sight” I joke, trying to light up the mood “But you’re accent really blows the whistle”

“It betrays me every time” he shooks his head with a soft laugh. God, he’s adorable.

“Yeah, It’s a pretty good accent” I smile  “how do you like New York?”

He sighs, really taking his time to answer that one “I mean, it’s pretty big, Pretty crowded” he says “hard to get used to”

“I know, it’s always hard” I said, I really understand that feeling, even when the last place I used to live in was Malibu, but New York was ten times more overwhelming than California, like he said, hard to get used to, really hard.

“Can I guess?” I ask politely and he raises an eyebrow “Where you’re from, I mean”

“Shoot”

“Canberra” I try with a little smile.

“Sydney, actually” he says and I nod, at least I got the right country “pretty good guess though”

“yeah” I said looking down.

“Yeah” He repeated, there was silence now, Kind of uncomfortable.

I decide to just leave it here, not make it any more awkward or whatever, it was a pretty good first conversation “I’m going to-” I say and point to the table behind me with my thumb.

“Yeah” he said, nodding at me, telling me it was totally fine.

Now I felt weird, really weird, I just had a conversation with Luke Hemmings and it wasn’t as awkward as I was expecting it to be, wow, I think I did a pretty good job. Stell could eat her words now, I talked to a guy outside the school, I talked to my crush outside school, I am awesome, I really am.

I sit on the table quietly while my order is getting all ready to go. He doesn’t talk to me and I don’t talk to him, It isn’t uncomfortable or at least It doesn’t feel like it is. I replay our conversation over and over until there’s a little bell ringing behind me, I turn my head and I see him walking to the counter with my order in hand.

“(Y/n)” He says showing me the bag.

“Yep” I say getting up my seat and walking up to him “Thank you very much” I say grabbing the bag.

“You’re welcome” he smiled back  “Are you walking home?” he asks and then before I could answer, he shakes his head to reformulate his words “That sounded creepy, I’m sorry, I just noticed you’re alone, that’s all” he mentions

“It’s okay” I laugh  “Yeah, I don’t live that far from here” I say pointing to the door  “I’ll be fine, I’ll survive”

“well, in that case, have a goodnight” He says walking back.

“Thanks, you too” I say doing the same.

“See you at school” he waves at me.

“See you there”

I walk out of the store and just stand still. Holy shit. Did I really just talked to Luke Hemmings all by myself?.

Holy shit.

[aceyanaheim]

Dream Daddy Head-canons No One Asked For.

It’s Hurricane Time and I got bored. ( Keep in mind I’m still finishing the game) 

Robert’s been to jail before, misdemeanors and petty crime.

After getting bailed out he was made to work at the shelter with Mary and Damian.

His first reaction to seeing a shih-tzu was to shake it repeatedly because “What the fuck? Is this a dog or a rat?”

Damian had a talk with him about different breeds and “please refrain from shaking the living creatures in this facility, especially the small ones. We..kind of need them alive.”

That’s actually where he got Betsy. For all his hangups about smaller dogs who “don’t look like dogs” Robert wound up turning into a marshmallow around them.

Mary may or may not have arranged for him to adopt Betsy after seeing how good the volunteering did for Robert ( he drank and smoked less, tried to show up on time, he was always happy around the dogs)

She kinda wishes she had given him a bigger dog when the first thing Robert did was try to hunt for cryptids in the dead of the goddamn night. (Betsy’s a tough pup though. She does okay at keeping her human safe.)

Brian makes lasagna for Daisy every first day of school ( it’s her favorite dish)

Both Brian and Joseph have very...open reactions to anyone who suggests parents with Neuroatypical kids are burdened or need a support group.

They might or might not have egged the car of the last person who said that.

Brian and Daisy go on a camping trip the week before school starts every year.

Daisy’s first fishing rod was this tiny pink for-toddlers-rod that she still keeps to this day.

Amanda tutors Daisy in Social Studies, Daisy ends up helping her with English. ( that kid is smart) 

Lucien has the best English grade in Hugo’s junior class.

No one but Mary knows that it’s because when he was little he and Damien would have readings of Victorian novels.

Sometimes Mary and her kids would come along.

Lucien actually winds up babysitting the Christiansen kids a lot.

It is entirely possible that he’s the one who taught them to amp up the creepy twin factor to keep bullies away.

It is also entirely possible he makes sure he scares off the ones that the twins don’t creep out.

Not that he’ll ever fess up to it.

Christopher's middle name is Robin ( because Mary couldn’t resist)

Christian and Christie’s middle names are Matthew and Ruth respectively.

Mary and Joseph may or may not have been trying to outdo each other on who could come up with the most religious name.

Mary’s still not sure how much morphine she was on that she allowed that but she’s decided her kids just need enough confidence to carry the -slightly ridiculous- names.

Crish lucked out -sorta?- and didn’t get an uber religious name.

Chris spends a lot of time with Crish while the twins wander off. He almost prefers to hang out with his baby sibling over anyone else.

Carmencita and Ernest switch to Spanish at near every social gathering and it drives everyone up the wall.

Robert always eggs them on, he likes the chaos.

Robert also refuses to tell just where the hell he learned Spanish “it’s classified”

Robert has G.A.D. which he self-medicates for both by drinking and smoking

The dads have actually talked about getting him to quit because “Jesus Robert you’re not even like a chill stoned person. You get outright paranoid.”

Having Betsy helps him with it a lot. He has to keep things away from her so she won’t get into them and sometimes it leads to him even forgetting he has it.

Robert has a weird rule about smoking in front of the kids. He just won’t.

Lucien finds this hilarious and kind of annoying because “I’m your provider!”

“Well yeah but you’re still a kid”

Daisy learned to read when she was four. Brian found her hoarding t.v. manuals and car magazines and fishing books and..basically if it had letters in it she had it in her room.

She at one point made a fort out of them. He still has the pictures.

Chris scripts and stims a lot. He usually sings songs he hears on the radio and rocks on his feet. He’ll occasionally repeat lines from his favorite movies.

The real reason the twins were quoting The Shining was they grew up around Chris scripting and...also started talking in t.v. quotes ( since to them it just looked like A Thing Chris was doing)

The three of them can actually speak to each other in t.v. quotes and understand each other completely. ( everyone else, however, is clueless. No one’s figured out how to get them to stop. Robert also thinks this is hilarious.)

No one can figure out if it’s better or worse than Ernest and Carmencita's  bilingual shtick.

Both Hugo and Mat slip into Spanish from time to time.

Hugo has family in the Dominican Republic and P.R. but also in New York. ( it’s where his parents emigrated to)

Ernest actually really doesn’t like his name.

He went up to his dad once with a two-page long list of Hispanic Authors and asked why he couldn’t be named after one of those.

Hugo and went on to answer that he had family members named Usnavi and Usmail and Hugo’s middle name was Valentino and “honestly, just count your blessings-no you’re not drinking coffee.”

He was secretly really impressed because damn these were good authors and his kid knew about them? Since when? ( why isn’t he getting better grades?)

Craig spent a good amount after college just...drifting. He went there because he was told to and didn’t really find his drive for doing something until much later in life.

Because of that he kinda gets Robert. He can tell he’s kinda lost too.

Lucien used to have a baby cape.

He still dresses up in Victorian clothes for his dad’s birthday and special occasions.

A lot of conversations about media analysis between Mat and Hugo usually wind up with their kids weighing in.

Ernest tends to take Mat’s side just to be contrarian but he’s learned a lot about his dad from listening to his side of the conversations.

Mary has a favorite dog at the shelter. It’s this scraggly looking greyhound mix she named Stella.

Damian’s the only one who knows, she’s sworn him to secrecy.

She’s that volunteer that checks out all adoptees and flirts her way into convinces people to take “risky” cases home.

Damian wants to be mad but...well it’s not like it doesn’t work. He hates that they can’t use a kill-free policy, with Mary terrifying everyone they kinda do.

Damian Mary and Joseph all go way back. They met a youth service.

Mary was notorious for getting into and starting fights back then.  She had opinions on how Christianity saw a lot of things and no actual fucks to give about arguing with teachers and preachers and other students alike.

She usually wound up kicked out of Youth Ministry/Religion Class ten minutes in. You could set your time by it.

“Oh nooo now I get to do whatever the damn hell I want for thirty minutes whatever will I do with myself”

If Damian hadn’t been there, no one’s sure how long she-or the church would have lasted.

Mary was that Christian girl. The one that rebels hard and parties harder. The church was small, and every knew and talked about what she did and who she did it with and it made her smile.

When Damien started transitioning anyone from the Youth Group who so much as looked at him crooked inherently made things physical. ( but damn if Mary didn’t scare everyone just by looking at them. )

That’s where Joseph meets her. Joseph, who looked the part of the rebel, with black leather and piercings but whose biggest act of rebellion itself is sneaking rock music past his Very Christian Parents.

Mary takes one look at him trying to be “bad” and nearly bursts out laughing all the same feeling fondness for the kid. She figures if she doesn’t keep an eye on this dork, someone’s gonna eat him. 

Friendships can come from a lot less.

It’s the softness in Joseph that really gets to Mary, the same softness she found in Damian. It’s the fact that he refuses to judge her, it’s the fact that he nearly bursts out laughing at every argument she starts with other people. That’s where the friendship’s really born. That’s when she starts trusting him. By the end of the year, he’s as close to her as Damian. ( and she’s just as willing to tear people apart for him)

There’s a lot of conflicts and tears for the three of them on their orientations ( because no, Mary isn’t straight either) and their religion and their faith and those who share it. There were nights spent at couches where Mary couldn’t stand to be with her parents and long silent months were Joseph just went radio silent. ( Damian’s parents were actually hella accepting and the main crashing place but Damian had things to deal with too)

It’s what made Joseph want to be a Youth Pastor. He wanted a church that was friendly, he wanted to keep his faith. He wanted to keep other children from not feeling safe in a place where you’re supposed to. He wanted to tell kids that things always get better. He signed up for a degree in Biblical Studies the moment he was able to.

They moved to the same neighborhood on purpose, the three of them ( and Lucien eventually) like it always was.

Mary started dealing with depression after having Chris.

A big contributing factor was that Joseph had the ministry and Damien had Lucien and Mary...Mary didn’t have anything. She had no life outside of being a housewife. Eventually, Chris went to school and she had nothing to do but keep house.

It started slow but it grew, she was told having more kids would help ( and when she held the twins, she was happy.) but of course it didn’t make things better.

It’s really what killed her relationship with Joseph. It killed her a little each day too. She was told she’d be happy if she married and had kids, she wanted to be happy ( so why wasn’t she?)

She started resenting him, resenting her life, feeling trapped in it. This is around the time she befriended Robert.

Robert, who also hated himself, and his life, who was also miserable. Robert who she could tell her worst thoughts to ( “sometimes I wish I wasn’t a mom. What kind of parent am I” “Trust me I’ve seen worse”) things she wouldn’t want to tell Joseph, things she couldn’t even tell Damian.

Their friendship is based on wasted chances and miserable thoughts and an unabashed acceptance of both.

When she found out he slept with Joseph she gave him the silent treatment for a month. ( Damian of all people told him off. Mary’s still his best friend. This isn’t done.)

Eventually, Robert wears her down, begs her to get a drink and says he’s miserable and sorry and miserable and the next morning he makes her a hangover remedy at his house and they bury the hatchet.

Robert tries to bury an actual hatchet in the backyard, Mary laughs calls him an idiot and “where did you even get a hatchet” “shh don’t worry about it” and that’s when they actually make up.

Joseph took up carpentry as a hobby ( he thinks it’s funny how it plays into his name.) he built the kids a treehouse in the backyard and has made them a couple of toys.

Mary always loved horses. It’s something she shares with Christie, who she’s indulged in exactly 245 My Little Pony dolls.

One of Chris’ special interests is fishing lures ( not even fishing just the different kind of lures you can use) he’ll talk Brian’s ear off about it whenever he can find him.

One of Daisy’s special interests is marine animals, she’ll talk Hugo’s ear off whenever she can find him.

Ernest is absolutely not jealous about his dad talking to this other kid. Nope.

Mat’s coffee shop became The Place Where All The Kids hang out ( a few of them want to work there) and he’s somehow become the person they all talk to if they ever have a problem they can’t talk to their dad about. ( Also Pablo’s there and Pablo’s hot, and the older kids can appreciate that)

Unlike Ernest, Carmencita doesn’t mind sharing her dad. She’s actually gotten really good at advice and conflict resolution because of all the problems the others ( including Pablo) ask Mat’s help with.

Because all the parents get together so often -apparently- for barbeques and stuff the kids have kind of made up their minds that they’re all their parents. They have a dad for each occasion. If someone picks on you? Go to Brian, he’s the one who will tell you ( and teach you to throw a punch, just ask Daisy)  Homework problem? Go to Hugo. Fashion advice? Go to Damian.

There have also been talks had by some of the kids about whose parents could end up with whose. ( except for the Christiansen kids.) 

They might or might not be keeping an eye on Dadsona and who xe winds up dating.