#When I get to every I will combust
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
“I knew you’d come through for me, you always do.”
#good omens spoilers#SCREAMING SHAKING CRYINGG FUCKING HELL THEY'RE SO IN LOVE#ineffable husbands#YO FAM I NEED TO GET READY AND I AM STUCK IN S2 AND CAN'T GT OUT DJSSA#When I get to every I will combust
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i recently remembered DickTim Week 2024 is happening very soon and i looked at the prompts again to see if i could get anything out for it and. the Hades & Persephone AU prompt for day 1 has got me really thinking so here's a vague concept i plan to write.
i've been pretty burnt out on modern Hades & Persephone retellings because of how they always seem to fall into the same generic "innocent wide-eyed girl runs from her evil mean mother into the arms of a dark mysterious man because actually she went willingly and chose to marry him" which has gotten repetitive for my tastes. (for clarity i don't care if this retelling is your cup of tea personally, so long as you're not actively trying to rewrite the original myth and claim untrue things about it, if this is your favorite flavor i sincerely hope you enjoy the buffet i just have little interest in it since it feels overdone for me and exhausted of it's supposed commentary atp)
but? but. biblically accurate Hades & Persephone AU has me all kinds of interested. because wait listen so hear me out right. Hades!Dick and Persephone!Tim, obviously. i feel it'd be more loosely inspired by with themes and imagery (though playing with death and nature powers could be interesting, i haven't decided) rather than explicitly making them gods and all. but. something dark and fucked up where Dick and Bruce are especially estranged. maybe to do with Jason's return, maybe to do with them just clashing and having their usual explosive arguments. and Bruce knows the peace needs to be kept, if he and Dick are at odds then everyone starts to pick sides and things just fracture so he needs a peace offering.
and the peace offering is Tim.
Bruce (the stand-in for Zeus) offers up Tim. agrees to have Tim move to Bludhaven and be Dick's... whatever Dick wants him to be. knowing that with the implication comes the likelihood of Dick grooming Tim. and Tim has no real say and is hesitant to put up a real fight. he doesn't want this, he knows what this is going to imply Dick will do to him, but he also knows if he says no things have the possibility to just... fall apart. so he's the unwilling bride, dragged off to the metaphorical underworld (Bludhaven) with Dick, away from his family, his friends, the life he built.
and on the flip side, i think weirdly enough, your best pick for the Demeter stand-in is *Jason*. just, hear me out on that. not necessarily on the side of it being motherly, but on Jason being just estranged enough from the Batfamily to be the one willing to call it out for being bad and wrong and raising bloody hell to get Tim back. maybe it's because Jason wants Tim for himself, maybe it's truly out of a concern for Tim to have autonomy, i'm toying with the idea of it primarily being Tim's POV and him genuinely not knowing which of these is true. (and the truth possibly ends up being a complicated middle ground) and because i like Helena, i think you can use her as the Hekate stand in, the one who strikes a tentative alliance with Jason and tries to go find Tim and bring him back. Tim stuck with Dick, getting groomed and hyperaware of it, possibly even getting fucked the whole time as well, knowing he can't go back without causing massive issues for Dick and Bruce because well, Bruce did promise him to Dick. so he has to adjust his whole life, try to figure out being a vigilante in this new city with Dick breathing down his neck the whole time.
and then much like the ending of the myth, a sort of compromise is struck that's a shaky deal for everyone involved. Tim is put on an essential timeshare, going back and forth between Gotham, where he has friends and family and a support system, then getting dragged right back to Bludhaven with Dick in this brutal cycle that he slowly gets used to and stockholm'd into even liking it. Dick isn't so bad, once he gets used to the quirks of their unbalanced 'relationship'. the sex is even something he can adjust to as well. not quite a happy ending but one that sits in this realistic grey area that becomes Tim's life.
i will write this, eventually, but i don't know if i'll get to it before DickTim Week ends so by posting the idea i'm essentially putting it out into the world so the peer pressure holds me accountable. i just. really like the potential of making Hades/Persephone AUs as fucked up as they can be simply by adhering to the source material and making it a raw story of being stolen away and forced to like this new home you didn't ask for.
also a less fleshed-out aspect of this idea i have ties into Persephone becoming the Queen of the Underworld when she's taken and how the transition from Kore to Persephone could be reflected in Tim. how he makes the best of the worst situation and becomes something far more dangerous and dark when he's in Bludhaven, possibly takes on a new vigilante name/identity and leans into the worst quirks of his personality he tries to tamper because there's no point in not going full tilt Obsessively Weird if he has no choice anyway and it being one small way he takes back his autonomy, and that inevitably making Dick *more* into him, because he gets to see Tim finally just. let loose.
#dicktim#timdick#batcest#necrotic festerings#necrotic works in progress#dicktim week 2024#fandom event#this will be written i've just got a pile of things before it.#i'm mostly posting it so i don't fucking forget about it#i'm also interested in some of the other prompts#day 2 is full of goodies. and day 7.#but the other prompts are probably ideas that'll be shorter and quicker#this one i feel. if i rlly fucking ran with it. could go on to be a novella length idea.#idk how long it'll get when i write it#but there will be smut this i promise you#also i'm respectfully begging y'all pls don't do hades/persephone myth discourse on this post#i really *don't* care if you like romantic retelings i promise. they're just not my vibe#and i also promise i am *incredibly* well read on this myth#if you try to give me the “well in some versions-” argument i'm *going* to get incredibly boring with so many sources.#like i will go step by step through every ancient version of this myth.#i save that discourse for spiritual spaces tho so pls don't drag it here i will combust#anyway making jason the demeter stand in is funny bc greek mythos also does do the incest pretty hard#so like. it still works. it's funny#how long will this take i honestly cannot tell you#depends on if i cave and bump it up in the queue bc it's behind like. four fics i'm so sorry.#but you're welcome to send asks or whatnot to shout at me about this idea and 'yes and' me#that applies to any of my ideas anyone is welcome to 'yes and' that shit#it delights me dearly.#my sole hang up on this rn is how godly do i make it. do i give them powers. or do i just make it vaguely inspired by the myth.#both are fun for their own reasons.
30 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't think I can ever emotionally recover from these
#the inherent romance of monaco parc ferme#seriously these murdered me i really can never recover from them#screaming crying THEM!!!!!!!! THEM!!!! THEMMMMM LOOK AT THEM!!!!!#jense's hand basically covering the breadth of seb's back im normal im normal im normal im normal im normal#the gif version of this you can only see seb's face and hes very fond too sob sob and they keep holding hands while theyre talking sob sob#THE WAY SEB'S CLOSING HIS EYES ANF RESTING HIS CHIN ON JENSE'S SHOULDER AND JENSE'S SMILE ABT IT#JENSE'S FOND EXPRESSION IN THE 2ND PIC LOOK AT THE WAY HES LOOKING AT HIM WITH THOSE FOND EYES IM GONNA CRY#pictures that make me need to get up and run laps around the room bcs im seriously gonna burst into tears#2011 sebson makes me roll around in bed kicking my feet and screaming#WHO IS DOING IT LIKE THEM!!! WHO ELSE WOULD TREAT AND LOOK AT THE GUY WHO JUST BEAT HIM WITH SUCH AFFECTION!?!??!?!??!#i seriously am gonna lose it when i watch the 2011 races i think i willl actually combust i cant handle it#('pictures that automatically make me think of Solar Flare')#(these are from before that fic takes place yet are the most romantic pics ive ever seen in my life)#(solar flare!mark was so right when he told jb that he and seb look in love in literally every pic of them together)#sebson#jenson button#sebastian vettel#sv5#jb22#we do a little bit of f1#f1#formula 1#formula one#2011 monaco gp#2011 monaco grand prix
188 notes
·
View notes
Text
x
#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
omg I just stumbled upon your art and WOW it’s amazing!! What program do you use? Any tips for a beginner artist too? Sorry totally [not] asking for a friend
thank u! i mostly use ibis paint x and sometimes clip studio paint too! :D
i don't think i'm much of a pro to be out there telling on beginners but, if you're looking to improve in certain aspects, i'd recommend studying art fundamentals. i like searching for tips on youtube and i personally love watching pikat's videos; they give pretty solid, good advices for studying art :)
overall, i think the most important part about drawing is having fun, as cliche as this sounds, it's true. stressing over your art might actually bring down the quality of it, so don't worry so much about making masterpieces! do what you like! ^_^
#gatinho answers#getting out of your comfort zone and experimenting new things is a super important step for improving too!#like#i used to always do bust up drawings#no backgrounds or anything#and i was super scared of doing anything else because i >didnt know how to anything else<#and you know#if your goal on art is just to make silly stuff#u dont need to know fancy things if u dont want to! thats totally fine#but i like exploring every part of art and i want to make every type of illustrations#so not gettin out of my comfort zone is pretty rough to achieve my goal!#i managed to get out though :-) and its super fun to learn new things#ofc its normal to get stressed about art every once in a while. it happens to everyone! really#usually on those moments i just take a step back to relax and go back to my comfort zone#so i dont explode lmfao#but when i feel like im ready i go back to studying!!!! yay!!!!#and thats how i deal with making art without spontaneously combusting lol#srry for the ramble 😭✊ i could go on for hours
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Do you have the tiniest little nonsensical writing thing that immediately takes you out of a story and has you frowning at nothing or are you normal?
#it's just a small dumb thing that I personally have to get over#applies to original writing as well as fan writing but#for me it's when character A says something#and character B just says “Explain.”#Gets me every time#I know what it's conveying#that overload of hearing something so out of pocket you can't waste time saying “what the fuck” or an in-character equivalent#They gotta get right to the point or character B might combust#If i ever do this in a story you reserve the right to sock me in my hypocritical jaw
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
sauce and/or stef for bingo please!!
TWO FOR ONE!!! here's sauce <3333
and diggs!
#sauce would call u an L to ur face#and then u punch his in ear and he films himself crying at the medbay#diggs wouldnt try opening a water bottle for u and he wont ask for help opening his own either#he'll just struggle rlly badly then get upset and give up and take his anger out elsewhere#hes kinda pathetic but first he has this air of aloof superiority first#it's like a cat balancing on the tub watching u look like a wet rat and judging you#until his fascination with swiping at the faucet accidentally gets him falling into the tub with you#no fake smile for him bcs i think he would rather spontaneously combust than go a second without his opinion being heard#cough his yells and indirect tweets @ allen#NOT SAUCE GETTING AT LEAST EACH IN EVERY CATEGORY HELP#us meeting (parasocially) was Destiny.#It just rang all the right bells when i saw his 'im the best in the draft.' (picture of me looking cool) twit post#mirror mirror on the wall. whos the Coolest of them All 😎#zero likes#ted tumbunity things#love this mental illness double whammy it“#it's like getting diagnosed with narcissm and bpd
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
find the constant rhetoric of “so scared of s2” as if mental illness being portrayed authentically and with sensitivity and an ultimately positive outlook, amidst an adorably heartwarming, youth-friendly story based entirely on love and friendship, is absolutely terrifying to be endlessly amusing
#by amusing i mean bemusing i don’t get it in the slightest!!#every single person that posts about their excitement seems to feel the need to include their ‘fear’ or combust#and the literal edits of the quoted “i can’t wait for s2!!’’ followed by a ✨super dark✨ montage#of charlie talking about/dealing with his illness#was excessive after the first time actually#guess what!! you can enjoy smth that accurately and lovingly depicts serious topics!!#especially when that topic is young queer people struggling with and ultimately improving their mental health!#something that is WIDELY dealt with irl?#but each to their own ig#anyway rant over time to genuinely look forward to any new heartstopper content esp for s2
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Zero idea if it'll help or fade into the background but I downloaded stuff to track things and smacked widgets onto my homescreen to not forget. Initially searched for pain ones (where I downloaded two just for good measure ig) but saw that one is customizable for like anything you want and no purchase stuff for me bc included in that one pass and said sure fuck it. I think at the min I need to track pain bc by my memory do I go mental thinking if it just feels frequent n all or if it actually is and mind goes blank when at the doc (will just be fun translating to ger OTL I learn sm to describe stuff in eng but then it lacks in first language). Alas for whatever reason lil me never thought abt actually writing these things down (prob bc every adult anyways dismissed them to the point of not being sure if the pain was actually there so what was the point. but now. now I'm the adult in my life who calls the shots for their own life even if anxiety makes it hard).
#a wild lux appears#randomly downloaded stuff when my headache almost made me want to cry again thank fuck for that binaural vid#Btw I will not tackle both languages full on at once they're just both there to not forget either#The group goal will prob be the hardest but at least I now realize I instead of beating myself up I just become avoidant#Which isn't good either but at least knowing what I do helps tackling it ykno#Btw the apps I got are dailyio. manage my pain. and. chronic insights (which is specifically for pain my recommendation since it's made by#one w it and completely free of ads n all. got a lot you can add n visually really nice. just fancy stuff behind paywall)#Zero idea if my stuff is chronic maybe I am since years in my denialism era either way pain is pain and I learned more online from disabled#ppl than from doctors which is just oh so great. but after learning not suprising yikes.#Also reg every adult I remember school trips being nightmares bc I ran out of energy and breath fast and the stops were not even close to#what I needed to recover.#Safe to say I became a v seething child who w reasons hated forced outdoors stuff#Got lots of fun stories which totally don't make me want to combust#This one is like. The tamest I think. Got literally locked out of my room to be foces to go outside#But all that is more stories abt one specific horrendous place I wish(ed) to burn to the ground than physical pain focused talk.#So gon cut it here#Need to shower anyways I just woke up I need v quickly food after it so cya#(just woke up I say. As if I'm not since like three hours awake but just since shortly out of my bed. anyways-)#Also last thing even if a child fakes pain to get out of stuff maybe talk w them as to why they feel the need to do that#Believe kids they know their body etc etc or I will hit you cartoon style w a piano over your head#Fuck wrote one app wrong I meant *daylio
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
another funny thing about hex is sometimes im like oh wow this little oc is so much like me and then i remember. they literally started life as my spidersona.
#cricket.chatterbox#hex is so much stronger than me mentally bc they can handle being on the grid without combusting#me personally i love the IDEA of being on the grid and dont get me wrong the catwalk is my house#but when im actually on the grid on the grid?? i freeze up and imagine every impossible way i could die.#oc : hex#bailor's ocs
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
every time i feel like im ready to explode i am granted a new horror to my shit sandwich
#lost in the sauce but its me drowning in every new layer of things happening in my life rn#at first it was a bachelorette on my birthday that i cannot afford. and then we were told it was one night. it was originally all weekend#then i got told we're moving#ok. i already have time off for my birthday. so i guess i have time for all this now.#now the new apt has water damage and i cannot move into it on my long weekend. i do not have the pto to get another long weekend.#ok. fine. i will pack on my birthday.#no. you have jury duty that week. you COULD'VE got pto for that but you have too many important things to miss.#ok.#ur jury duty would've rlly helped your moving btw. if that was happening anymore.#ok thanks.#like anything else? genuinely? anyone else have something they need me for this month before i spontaneously combust?#anyway im going to make dinner#so i can go to my cousins baby shower.#so i can go see my in laws#when i haven't seen my own family in like a month but ive spent the past few weekends with them.#and will continue to spend my weekends with them for this wedding my partner is in.#which im not but since we're engaged im expected to help without any of the recognition of being in a wedding. its cool.#like 3 of my precious pto days were used for this but its good.#i just am not allowed to take unpaid days off without a writeup.#even if i feel like i wanna die i am out of time off.#its soooo good im sooooo in a great place.#biting and biting and biting and biting the pto system at my work
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
making my dumb little posts as if i'm not simultaneously writing some of the most heart aching juliana/nemona nonsense and debating whether or not i can borrow/steal a line from one of my favorite books for this fic
#¿Me dejas robarte un beso? gets me every fuCKING TIME#and whEN ELSE WILL I EVER GET TO USE SPANISH?????#future fic has got me going thROUGH IT#every time i get to use cariña i melt and so like. if i let myself use that i'll probably combust on the spot
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I hate when apps temporarily block your acct bcs "suspicious activity", yeah yeah I understand it's for security measures BUT PLEASE IM JUST BAD AT REMEMBERING PASSWORDS, LET ME LIVE 😭😭
#having a bit of a freak out right now 🌚#my best friend is gonna be in china for 2 months and our only option of communication is wechat#expect i forgot to log into wechat lately so it logged me out and i cant remember my pass and it got pissy with me for requesting sms codes#so it temporarily blocked me for suspicious behavior PLEASE WECHAT I JUST AM IMPATIENT#and then it said i requested unblocking too many times i have to 'wait'#wait how fucking long wechat?????? how long?????????#and even then with requesting your acct to be unblocked the easiest way is to get a friend w a wechat acct to verify you#HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU THINK I HAVE WECHAT 😭😭😭😭#MY ONLY FRIEND WHO HAS WECHAT IS ON HER WAY TO CHINA AS WE SPEAK WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT THAT#she has to stop in another country for like half a day so im hoping when she lands she can help me 😭#BUT WHAT IF I STILL CSNT REQUEST BY THEN?? WHAT DO I DO THEN WECHAT????#once she gets to china i feel like im basically fucked#but yes i understand security measures but jesus christ please irs me i swear why are you making me jump through all these hoops?????#but im gonna actually be so upset if this screws up me being able to msg her :( we talk every day :(#i think i will actually combust and die if were just no contact for that long im actually gonna die#how am i gonna survive without her sending me china pics and me harassing her with f1 updates :(((#ugh i dont know what to do :( and i feel really upset abt it#maybe whatsapp will work and we can fix my acct but who knows :(#catie.rambling.txt
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
leah's birth is the most important event in the story. without leah, angel hell wld never resolve. leah's birth is also the most screwed up strange unlikely wormed corner bc. arianna never wanted children due to the songhost inheritance dilemma. in fact she almost kills leah with her reckless attempt to prevent her from aging (which in itself... is what causes leah to be put in stasis and allows for her to grow up around the same time belle also rly needs a friend) but that's not what kills me most here what rly kills me most. is. for the universe core to be mended leah's existence is vital (but the one variable faye is unaware of/not involved in at all) that leah is such an accident except (soul birth means no child is born unwanted. rotate that on 🐇 but i digress. except this is exactly what this is about) the only reason arianna softened on the idea of raising a kid of her own nd then got stuck with one is. bc of sky. because for as ill-equipped that she was to handle sky at her worst most ptsd-riddled, taking care of her with jumie, training her being the vital influence that taught sky to temper her strength, a child of her own doesn't seem so bad suddenly. and so we get leah, as messy as that is. bc for sky to end up in the palace as she was......... r*bbit hell. gray at his worst. a direct consequence of his existence, his daughter an inevitability in many ways (in others, a similar accident) soulless the symptom of the broken moon core, the thing faye so desperately attempts to fix.... and she succeeds... through this extremely fraught line of events that results in leah being born, leah's aging being fucked up beyond salvaging (the fight arianna and sky get in over this.... arianna's death) sky left with the burning need to do right by leah, to not keep her confined in the depths of the palace (oh the cruelty of raising a child underground... :)) and thus sends her on raiu's little group project 2 go nd save linn. where she meets belle in the process. predestined? PROMISED, EVEN
#good morning i have interconnected story hell on the brain#i do love to imagine a proper second palace era where jj raise devon+belle at the palace#so belle+leah can grow up as proper childhood friends they got so close!!#also as always deeply funny that faye is so unplugged from life and emotions that leah/belle doesn't track for her as a vector#why does belle keep failing to bear all this emotional trauma i put her thru surely its bc she's not strong enough (<mom of the year)#not bc she's lacking a support system after i just unmade her entire reality#like i wish!!!!!! devon was enough to save her but the very point is that 'her family' is the trigger for her self combustion#family cannot reach her. family is a lie. but leah her first friend whose own family history is so..... GOD#also always always thinking abt when belle finds out that leah is not sky's real daughter (lie by omission) getting so mad on her behalf!!!#girl you have no idea what's abt to happen to you in ca. 4 days :')#shadowblogging#we love a post that Goes Every Place In The Book wwww
0 notes
Text
girl accidentally shows emotion that isnt quirky or cute and has to accept that she is loved despite not presenting as a polished acceptable version of herself every waking second of the day ✌️
#i yelled bad and i feel bad about it#girls when they dont know how to trust that they're loved even when they get upset ✌️✌️✌️#sorry it's late i need to go sleepies#i would like to say.#i hate the guy (my father) who taught me that my anger and pain are something to be punished for#and hate the guy (my mother) who taught me to ignore every bad feeling ive ever felt and 'focus on the good things'#guys you fucked me up for real.#i spontaneously combust when i feel a fucking modicum of discomfort#why didn't yall just tell me it was ok to fucking cry#okay anyway#ive messaged a few new therapists today requesting consultationssssss fingers crossed they will be affordable 👍#slay#personal
0 notes
Text
WHERE’S MY FUKING CAPO
#my post#funny#relatable#guitar#music#bjork#wait you can only have 30 tags the joke is much less funny if i don’t have a fucking wall of the stuff i guess i’ll just make this one reall#and 140 characters per tag this is stifling my creativity meh i was running out of popular tags anyway bjork’s not that popular of a tag tho#tbh i was running out of inspiration after like the 4 tag this joke was not meant to be at least not by my hand and i guess it wasn’t that f#unny either i cooled down real fast on that one you know what i’m pivoting this is no longer popular tags just my train of thought for as lo#ng as i feel like it the first few one might not even make sense when i’m done but who cares not me clearly it is quite annoying how i can’t#use commas tho make’s this harder to read than it needs to any way i lost my capo for like the third time my desk isn’t even that messy but#don’t know where else i would’ve put it it’s not lying on any of my instruments either i probably put it quote somewhere i would remember un#quote but clearly i didn’t i’m usually very good at remembering where i put things put the capo is the zone in between i use this often and#i use this every other year so i never remember where it is stored it is 1 am so i guess i’m going to bed soon anyway but still this is goin#g to annoy me until tomorrow i don’t even need it right i’ve had to remove so many tags the original joke barely makes sense anymore i’m kee#ping bjork tho you can pry her out of my cold dead hands not that i really listen to her music or know her i just like saying her name i’ts#got good mouth feel and it’s fun to spell i didn’t realize how long filling 30 tags would be what’s 140 times 30 let me look it up 4200 this#makes this post my biggest project by like 3000 words the only time i’ve written any meaningful lengths of texts was in college and i’m a dr#opout what 4200 characters not words silly little me makes a lot more sense now that i think about it i’m getting tired of writing so this m#ay end soon i would like to not go to bed at 4 am for a silly little post 2 people are going to read plus i am running out of ideas of thing#s to write i am very much not a writer writing scares me even writing lyrics for songs terrifies me i’ve only manage to write lyrics for one#without getting too self conscious and imploding but i’m better at writing songs with vocals i’ve never had anyone to write music with and w#ithout the ability to sing or write lyrics it’s been difficult the singing has been more or less remedied with synth v but the puter can’t w#rite lyrics for meso until i get a lyricist friend i will have to toughen up you can’t make art without making yourself known to those who c#onsume it but lyrics and poetry has always been 1 step too far for me tbh i’d rather spontaneously combust rather than let people know me i#do not look at my very numerous in stars and time posts and reblogs they are completely unrelated to this don’t think about it oh look behin#d you there’s a distraction oh you’ve missed it i have been writing this for half an hour and i am getting so sick of it i revealed informat#ion about the inner machinations of my mind i have not done this since last time i saw a therapist 5 years ago this is fucked up what a self#impose writing challenge can do to you luckily this is the last tag i’m doing lucky me well this was fun this is going to end suddenly so do
0 notes