#Whats wrong with me

[bi-writes]

his phone is ringing. he's startled, because no one calls him. he doesn't think anyone even has his number. when he flips it over, it's just a mess of digits, but the area code is familiar. (18+, kinda dark, mw3 spoilers)

he's curious. too curious. he has to answer it, even if he knows he won't respond. he needs to hear someone's voice because the ones in his head are clawing at the inside of his skull, and he needs to ward them off, even if just for a minute.

he picks it up. and he waits for the greeting.

"h...h-hello?"

it's a soft voice. a woman's voice. he frowns, but he says nothing. there's a gentle sniffle on the other end, and then she talks again, a bit shakier this time.

"h-he...he said you might be like this," she whispers. "said...said you might not talk. but...he said you would answer. said you'd always answer."

his head snaps up. suddenly, he's sitting up straight, at attention, and he squeezes his free hand into a fist and nearly punctures the skin with his blunt fingernails. something sharp hits his chest, and his heart drops into his stomach. he tastes acid.

i guess he was right all along. johnny had a bird. and he left her behind, too.

"i-i...i can't--" you stutter, sucking in a shaking breath, and ghost grunts, biting his tongue, wanting to taste blood. every time he thinks he has found his center, something throws him off. the jingle of his dog tags in the bedside table's drawer. the flash of blue in someone's eyes only to realize it isn't him, he's fucking gone, he's dead and so am i.

the sound of his bonnie lass, soft and sweet as she cries into the phone.

the line cuts. you drop the phone, covering your face with your hands, and you sob into your palms. you haven't moved from this place on your couch. everything reminds you of something that once was, and when you found the number on the back of a worn picture tucked neatly into his bible, you called because he told you if you needed him, he would answer.

it's past midnight when the door opens. you're still in the same place, strewn about the cushions where you've been for days, you think. you turn your head, and he nearly has to duck his head to come into your space. when he steps into the moonlight, you see the skeleton mouth of his mask, and you just blink, watching him come closer.

johnny always told you that if something happened, ghost, simon, whatever the fuck he would be calling himself when he would inevitably show up, that he would support you. but you didn't know how. you didn't think to ask, because johnny was all smiles and warm glows, and ghost is a dark cloud that threatens what grows.

but johnny was right.

he supports you when you climb up over him, settling down with your thighs around his head. he supports you when you bend, dragging your warm cunt over the flat of his tongue and chasing the high that you've missed for so long. and he supports you when you cum, scarred cheeks hollowing as he sucks at the skin of your thighs, following the trails of slick that drip from you, letting it guide him right back to where he belongs, inside of you, around you, making you forget what's missing.

yeah. johnny's always right.

[vixensofdeath]

I destroy myself to make me feel better but in the end I always feel worse.

[aradidnt]

I can't sleep

[pheoflame]

bullseye on my broken heart...

[jrobinp]

Ummm.... OK, so I keep saving photos of this man. To what end? What is WRONG with me? Send help.

[shvedskiycukor]

Старі діди з підлітковими гормонами

[snav1d]

hey, what if we form msf together?... >_<

[grossillygirl]

ughjfhdvdh im so horny i just wanna ride someones cock until i cum, feeling their hands on my waist tracing upwards til they reach my nipples. pinching them, to remind me that im not done until they cum inside my pretty little pussy. me riding them even faster, more desperate and needy, realising im going to cum again cus im just such a cockdrunk slut that i can't stop once i start

[xsosuni]

Mr Abductor is shipped with everyone 🥵

Inspired:

[auguste-marmonts-only-fan]

Another day, another cursed doodle 😭🙏💀

[vixensofdeath]

It feels like no matter who I mirror, no matter how hard I try to please people, no matter how nice I try to be— no one fucking likes me enough to stay or just return my energy equally. It’s so exhausting but I keep trying and trying to get this love and attention but it’s not sticking.

[angelpuns]

More Anne Au stuff:

- Donnie and Leo go to school

- Raph elects not to, he would rather just learn how to work the farm. Leo and Donnie do come home and teach him stuff he misses out on, tho. Since he also is almost 16, he thinks its kind of a waste to try and go to college at this point.

- Leo wants to be a doctor and Donnie wants to go to a fancy college to learn about math and science and stuff. He has big ideas

- as far As Mikey and his education, he does go to school, but he doesn't really enjoy it as much as Leo and Donnie do, so he may or may not finish idk yet. I do know that he definitely doesn't wanna be a farmer and spends all his time drawing and stuff :)

- Yuichi's personality is more like Gilbert's than his usual personality. Pretty smart, likes to tease Leo a lot. Friendly competitors to Lovers arc and all.

[daymarenightdream1]

Someone asked me what my type in men was the other day.

I didn't know how to say I like a man (who is not actually even a man) over a thousand years old, immoral, who laughs at the thought of committing atrocious acts with a glint in his eyes

I just said men who are taller than me

[starsandmoonsbelow]

Living HelPol: Day 7

Meet, Greet, Doubt?: Tarot Cards Pt. 2

Hope this helps someone feel more comfortable with their readings and getting confused sometimes because I think I just fumbled the first actual conversation with my deity and it’s PRETTY hard to top that.

I put the whole reading for anyone curious about the entire embarrassing scene but I just thought this was a great example of me being a dunce and being so nervous to talk to Ares that I convinced myself it wasn’t him. Sigh.

What deity?

Death; “Ending of a cycle” | Also one of the cards of Ares, so when I pulled it I couldn’t believe so much that I pulled TWO MORE CARDS and confused myself throughout this entire reading.

Queen of Wands; “Courage / Nurturing of action” | If the last one wasn’t enough to convince me I was talking to Ares THIS ONE SHOULD’VE BEEN but instead I went “queen of death? Courage? Athena?” When I knew damn well a queen card DOES NOT automatically mean girl deity.

10 of Swords; “Defeat / The peak of loss or crisis” | This is what I meant by I should’ve stopped because this confused me OUT MY MIND. I pulled this and went “loss and defeat? I dont think Ares would describe himself as a loser, but would Athena? No right?” But what god would?? I should’ve realized that the card meant (I think) that this god BRINGS defeat…as in theyre strong…AS IN THIS IS ARES AND I NEED TO STOP CONVINCING MYSELF OTHERWISE

If he wasn’t sick of me before, he is now.

What should I know about them?

(Reversed) 8 of Cups {Emotion}; “Trying one more time” | This one usually means walking away but I accidentally began reading the flipped definition after picking it up wrong and decided to keep it so yeah…I hope I haven’t ruined me chance if that is directed towards me /hj

Page of Wands {Action}; “New action” | Either in relation to the last one and he’s doing something new, or this has something to do with me trying something new. I’m more inclined to think the second because I really hope the internet is hard lying to me and he has more people working with him than I’ve been led to believe.

What can I do to strengthen our bond?

The Hierophant; “Tradition, institutions, but also self and general development?” | I’m realizing that I need to revisit my sources on this card because I don’t understand, but with the card definition itself makes me think that I should be looking for more ways to actually practice the religion and tributes to Ares. Also I’m realizing this might also have to do with me skipping my journaling these past two days so…uhm,,,

9 of Cups {Emotion}; “Emotional fulfillment” | I pulled another card because the last one I didn’t know how to interpret but this one was also confusing because some sort of emotional fulfillment is what I’m trying to achieve.

10 of Cups; ”Divine love / Happy ending” | I think this was just an emphasis on the last card which is… ;-; I’ll figure it out.

What do they wish for me to know?

Ace of Swords; “Mental clarity / New action or conflict” | Thanks, Ares.

Future relationship?

Temperance; “Balance / Harmony” | I hope so too.

What’s holding me back?

The Tower; “Chaos / Sudden change” | You know what? Yeah…this is all new for me and I’m having a hard time accepting it

The Devil; “Temptation / Attachment” | After pulling this card I realized that out of ANY of my questions I only pulled “bad” cards when I asked a negative question. Which also sent me for a loop because what are the chances of that??

2 of Swords {Thoughts}; “Making difficult decisions” | Even my instinctive doubt can’t make sense of how accurate and on the nose this part of the reading was. Like how…? But also this is so cool?

Am I making progress?

Knight of Wands; “Movement / Inspired action” | WHAT. ARE. THE. CHANCES. The KNIGHT of WANDS? The MOVEMENT of ACTION??? Basically meaning that yes, I am making good progress and I think it has something to do with me doing this reading and beginning to ask my own questions without a template at this point.

Should I focus on that instead today?

9 of Pentacles {Possession}; “Fulfillment / Self sufficiency” | “What does this mean? That I’ll benefit from finding out for myself? No, wait does it mean I should and will benefit greatly from it?…oh It says literally says yes on the card.”

Anyway really fun experience, here’s hoping that one day I get my Autism diagnosis and stop asking the same question 14 times when the answer is right there.

[noctuaearly]

Wanting to be in a relationship is so rough mentally because it's something that you can't do by yourself. Like, for most things, if I wanted something I could get it for myself. But being in a relationship relies on you finding someone else who wants to be with you, or finding someone who wants to care about you at all. And that shit is so demoralizing when you just fail over and over again. This is for both dating and friendships.

After a while of failures it really starts to feel like you'll just never be good enough for anyone to love. That's how it feels for me at least. I try not to think that way, but it's really fucking hard. Am I just at fault for not being able to find companionships? Or am I just unlucky with finding people who click with me? It's hard to say. In a way, I think I want to believe it's my fault, because then I can fix the problem. Cuz if it's luck, I can't fix that.

[puppyceleste]

I want to fuck you in a dark alley

against a wall or on all 4s? both are hot. I've mentioned it before that being fucked on all 4s in an alley is a fantasy of mine idk why I love the thought walking away w no panties, scraped knees and cum running down my leg