#What do I have
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Why menstrate at all?
I mean I'd womenstrate but it's way harder and pays less
#What does this mean anon#I mean I could take birth control but I don't wanna fuck with my mental health more than I have to now I'm stable and happy#And a hysterectomy is possible but I'm not sure if I wanna be a bio dad or not yet#So the remaining option is like#Hold it in???#Just say no like a DARE kid?#What#What do I have
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What is it with Mental Health people and ignoring everything you say?
Me: I have issues starting tasks that aren't related to motivation
Dr: I sounds like you have a motivation issue.
Me: It's not motivation. I stare at a blank screen for hours trying to make my body move. It's like a physical disconnect, where the signals wont send. I have motivation, it doesn't matter.
Dr: Medication wont do the motivation for you, you know.
Me: I don't care about medication I want to know what's wrong with me.
Dr: Well you sound like you don't have any motivation.
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THEM!?!?
#motivation#doctors#mental health#shitty doctors#what the fuck is wrong with them#task initiation#starting tasks#What do I have#what the fuck
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I feel so, so old but also so, so young and it’s starting to freak me out
#Not to get too existential but.#32 is hitting me harder than 30 for some reason?#(the reason being work being awful and feeling like everything I fought for was. fruitless? So what now?)#and time keeps running out and I keep losing things and people#my brain keeps yelling TOO SLOW TOO LATE TOO NOTHING all the time#they took my drive away from me and broke my spirit a little bit and now I’m just. scared and sad and angry all the time#and I don’t even have the faith in myself to go apply somewhere else because I’m convinced I can’t. they really fucking broke me#and if I don’t have work.#what do I have#it was the (1) thing I thought was going well and now that isn’t so what the fuck else do I have#I can’t buy a house I’ve never had a relationship my whole body is fucked#I still didn’t write a book#I can’t keep up with my coworkers I can’t keep up with my same age/older friends I keep just. walking with blocks on my legs while everyone#else is running marathons and finishing them#not to be a stereotypical ambitious workaholic Capricorn bitch but#what the fuck else am I#you know?
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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the 'what if you played it a little risky' post literally Changed my life but i cant fujkign find it in my blog because its. a tiktok screenshot
#like literally every time ive hesitated sending a text or complimenting someone or stuff ive thought of it#like youre right. what if i played it a little risky what do i have to lose in doing a nice thing!!!!!! ur so right!!!!!!!!#but its forever lost cos i cant search it with any words cause its an image#misery and pain. you know how it is#my post
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Here’s my take on the whole audio books vs. reading:
Oral tradition of storytelling predates written ones by millennias, and honestly, which one you like is just a personal preference.
The actual difference is
when listening, you have no idea how to write characters’ names
when reading, you have no idea how to pronounce characters’ names
hope this helps!
#audio books vs reading#honestly this debate is just pineapple on pizza again#personally i like reading better#i’m a poor listener and since i read faster than people talk i get bored and my mind starts to wander#but who gives a shit#just do what works best for you#in the end we all get the same story#oh and this post is about stories in english#in finnish you rarely have either problem
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"I had choice paralysis :(" is a KILLER line.
He's such a comedic powerhouse, I'm glad more people are getting exposed to him :'D
#smosh#smosh pit#tntl#shayne topp#zac oyama#tommy bowe#try not to laugh#dropout#smosh tntl 149 for anyone looking for the full video! since this took off :)#okay this broke containment noticeably so some additional context for anyone wondering#guy in trench is zac oyama. extremely funny comedian. he's on a streaming service called dropout. I advise looking up 'Make Some Noise' on#yt and watching the full episodes/compilations available for free there#He is in a youtube video with Smosh cast in an improv format they do called 'Try Not To Laugh'. Smosh cast folks are also very funny- a good#proportion of them at this point are also prifessional comedians. There are other Try Not To Laugh videos. a LOT of them. they can be#hit or miss but a lot of them are quite good (blind pairs or the musical episodes are all pretty good)#Smosh has multiple channels- this one is called Smosh Pit ajd also has other stuff they do. Challenge Pit is also quite funny. there is also#smosh games channel. smosh cast channel. and the main smosh channel#tbh i recommend looking up compilations of cast members to figure out what content you might find compelling but they make a pretty broad#spread of stuff at this point so odds are decent youll find something funny. esp if you already watch dropout :)#ok infodump over. glad ppl are having fun with this lol
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hey guys if you’re planning on making a vaguepost on the dashboard can you message me with the details and some of the lore behind the vague post you’re making. a vaguepost for the dash and a detailedpost for me. because i like to know what’s going on. if you do this i will automatically take your side because you’ve done the right thing by letting me know what’s up. thanks in advance ❤️
#jillian.txt#believe it or not there is not an active vagueposting situation happening so you don’t have to worry i’m doing the vagueposting here#100% serious about this btw i will keep your secrets and hype you up. i just like to know what’s going on
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"If voting changed anything they wouldn't let people do it-" grabs your face THEY DIDN'T JUST "LET" PEOPLE DO IT, MOST PEOPLE COULDN'T VOTE FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS. PEOPLE OF COLOR ONLY GOT THE FULL RIGHT TO VOTE 50 YEARS AGO IN THE US, THATS BARELY A GENERATION.
IF IT DIDNT MATTER AT ALL WHY WOULD THEY SPEND SO MUCH TIME GERRYMANDERING THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYWHERE?? WHY CAN'T FELONS VOTE?? WHY CANT PUERTO RICO VOTE? WHY DO THEY KEEP SWITCHING DATES AND LAWS AND TIMES AND WHATEVER THEY POSSIBLY CAN TO STOP PEOPLE FROM VOTING?? WHY DO THEY MAKE EFFORT AT ALL??
BEING DISILLUSIONED IS A REASONABLE RESPONSE. BUT PEOPLE FOUGHT AND DIED AND ARE STILL FUCKING DYING FOR THAT RIGHT, DONT SPIT IN THEIR FACE.
#god i hate seeing that fucking pop up#YES the system is fucked YES we need revolution or reform to the point of it being unrecognizable#but we dont HAVE THAT right now#but DONT COME IN AND TAKE WHAT WE DO HAVE FOR GRANTED IT WAS WRITTEN IN BLOOD#IM SO SICK OF THIS LIKE GUYS...WHY WOULD THEY MAKE THIS MUCH EFFORT...WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENED POST CIVIL WAR??#voting#elections
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Local PHD student at wizard school HARRASSED!! FOR SHAME!!
#laios touden#falin touden#marcille donato#farcille#arts#dungeon meshi#hello Im back again! to tumblr#also Im pretty shamlessly using beebfreeb 's falin outfit. I like it a lot I think thats how she is#delicious in dungeon#obviously influenced by some other peoples designs of modern designs figured Id put that disclaimer i do love those#i have no idea what the canonicity of laios going to the library is. like. he knows a lot#but i dont know if thats from books necessarily? jsut thought it was funny just pretend its this particualr libraary if that bothers u I gu
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the men and boys are innocent too.
we cry "the innocent women and children" to appeal to the masses, to try and force their sympathy, but the men and boys are innocent too.
I have seen sons crying out for their mothers, their fathers, their siblings. I have seen them break down at the loss of their families. I have seen them cling to their dead and grieve.
I have seen fathers cradle their dead children, seen them kiss their faces and hold their little hands. I have seen them faint with grief when asked to identify the dead. I have seen them carry their sons and daughters. I have seen them fasting to provide what little they can for their families.
I have seen men and boys digging through the rubble with just their bare hands, I have seen them comforting strangers, playing with children, rocking them, hushing them, even if the face of such imminent danger. I have seen them cry, seen them grieve, seen them break down into each other's arms, seen them be selfless, beyond selfless, becoming something I don't have a word for.
I have seen the men who are doctors refuse to leave their patients, even when they have no medicine or supplies to give them, even when they're threatened with bombings. I have seen fathers who have lost all their children pick orphans up into their arms and proclaim them their child so they are not alone. I have seen men and boys digging pets out of the rubble.
the men are innocent too. the men and boys are being hurt and killed too. the men and boys are grieving too. the men and boys are scared too. the men and boys are fighting to save their people too. the men and boys deserve to be fought for too.
#I don't have words to describe how I feel for the men of Palestine#the things I have seen them do after everything they have been through goes so far beyond selfless#what do you call this? this prevailing goodness and willingness to give everything they have and more? what word even touches it?#I don't think there is one#islamophobia has conditioned us to see these men and boys as evil and dangerous#we see this in how we speak about Palestine#and we need to uncondition ourselves#they're just as innocent and of value and good as the women and children#so fight for them#they don't deserve this any more than the women and children#free palestine#palestine
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people will hear you talk about struggling with mental illness and say “you can do anything if you just put your mind to it”. brother what part of the body does the mental illness happen in. what do you think is the problem
#neurodivergent#adhd#autism#executive dysfunction#shoutout to my dad lmao. mr ‘just outthink it!’#fuck! dude i never thought of that#waiiiit wait youre telling me all i have to do to overcome the Problems is put my mind to it#ok lemme consult the mind rq#im back. the mind is what has the Problems#my post#dave speaks
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i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".
it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.
do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.
but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.
do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).
you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.
walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.
no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.
do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."
you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.
there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.
i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.
he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."
#spilled ink#warm up#“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol#btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can#run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her#but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like.#ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone!#like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate''#we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!
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(✿◕‿◕) die (ꈍ ꒳ ꈍ✿)
#MY GIRLLLLLLLL <333333 you're doing amazing sweetie kill them all you deserve to#anyway. coping mechanism. the problems in my life i could solve if society just let me have a death note#this show really is an exercise in patience and suffering i get SO squicked out#by how much the horrible characters and situations mirror the insanity of what's happening in real life#also the revelation that some of the actors are Exactly as shitty as their characters are is. ugh.#but every time i'm like okay i can't take it i need to stop to protect my headspace#i think of kimiko and am like.... no... i need to see my gir....#hope karen gets jucy roles in other shows too PLEASE#the boys#kimiko miyashiro#karen fukuhara#theboysedit#tvedit
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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