#What Once Was

[greenandsorrow]

What once was.

the secret history fanfic

"One likes to think there's something in it, that old platitude amor vincit omnia. But if I've learned one thing in my short sad life, it is that that particular platitude is a lie. Love doesn't conquer everything. And whoever thinks it does is a fool."

I'm a fool... Richard was right. Love has the power to conquer many things, it can make the shy act brave and the brave act shy, but it cannot conquer death. I used to think Henry could not be conquered by neither love or death. I such was a fool.

Author's note 🦋

This story will be very self indulgent and maybe not for everyone! I am aware that the characters of the book aren't meant to be romanticised and I'm also aware of all the elitism and pretense that's portrayed in the book, but I still love it. If you love it too, you'll excuse me, I know it.🏛️🍂☕

No Bacchanal will take place in this fic. The characters will still be messed up, but not guilty of murder. Richard won't be the narrator. Another mention, this is Henry centred!

The Secret History left a big impression on me when I first read it (I've read it three times so far) because: I) I'm greek, live in Greece & speak greek, II) during high school I had to study ancient greek and latin to death III) I have a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs.

I hope you'll like my attempt at inserting a new character. Obviously, this isn't even trying to compare to Donna Tart's exquisite talent, it's just fanfiction.

That's just an introduction. I'm a bit insecure about writing something I aspire to be a bit more "serious", especially when it comes to my use of the English language, but it's fine I guess.

The title is basically "What once was" by Her's.

My OC, Rita, is definitely my shameless self insert. I didn't want to make her flawless, without any negative traits. I also wanted to explore the contradiction between a raw, almost bohemian person against Henry's perfectionistic and almost non-human at times personality. Rita is genuine, she is simple but in a complicated way (like all of us). She shares the same passion of the ancient world with her classmates, but not in their flamboyant manner. In a way it's her heritage, Plato, Homer & the twelve Gods of Olympus, but she embraces the fact in a grounded way, not in an obsessive one.

Just like the title is inspired by a song, so is Henry & Rita's backstory. The childhood I'll be referring to is inspired by Taylor Swift's song "seven". You don't have to be a Swiftie to enjoy this fic, but do listen to the song. It describes the purity of childhood friendships. Childhood friends that get separated for years only to find each other by chance (or fate) is all the information you need for now.

Warnings; possibility of smut/ nsfw content, mentions of childhood trauma and abandonment, triggering themes in general, physical injuries, mental issues, self harm, homophobic people from the 80's, some cute moments that might be out of character for the gang, stereotypes that I don't resign with but are part of the plot, dark themes that might have to do with death, pov changes

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[sheltiechicago]

David van Dartel: Billiew en Paduey II, from the series What Once Was

Dutch photographer David van Dartel’s series explores friendship and masculinity through portraits of young adults in European countries. Brothers Billiew and Paduey fled Sudan at a young age, settling in Glasgow. They were photographed on a trip to Loch Lomond, the first time they had visited the Scottish Highlands. Van Dartel’s portrait expresses the emotional intimacy, trust and vulnerability shared by the brothers, as a counterpoint to more traditional representations of masculine friendships

Taylor Wessing portrait prize

[ahollowgrave]

Thinking about Odette's ancient form again... I don't think it was Azem but admittedly I don't have much. I know her name is/was Leuce/Leuke and she works under Hades/Emet.

I don't ship Hades/Odette-in-any-form because I just... can't. I like him as a character and I find him interesting in a 'pin him under glass' kind of way. (Odette is a lesbian, also, but I don't think all shards need to have the same sexuality because why would they. But that said I def don't ship Leuke/Hades as it just doesn't satisfy me the way I like ships to) In Greco-Roman mythology, Leuke was a nymph (an Oceanid) that Hades fell in love with and spirited away to the underworld. This feels familiar. When she eventually passes, after her full life, Hades turns her body into a white popular tree in the Elysian Fields. As such, white poplars became a symbol of those we loved who have died as well as hope for a peaceful afterlife. (This is why I mentioned shipping.) I think, rather than Emet-Selch being in love with Leuke he see's her as someone he can groom to be his eventual replacement. Death's apprentice. (Less love, still spiriting away to the Underworld) In current time, Odette's eyes "started out" as an icy blue and as she grew into her abilities as a psychopmp one of them shifted to lavender. Her vision also altered -- I say she can see ghosts and other hidden things and I am beginning to think it's not so different from Hades' soul sight. Albeit a much weaker and less useful version, given the sundered state of it all? I do think Leuce had soul sight, as well, likely part of the reason Hades picks her to work so closely with him. Mayhap it was weak and she spent most of her time trying to find ways to enhance it. As well as any work delegated to her by Emet-Selch, of course. Personality wise I'm still rock tumbling her. I do think she and Emet have a very Uncle/Niece relationship, but also does that make sense for ancients?????? I'm gonna have to do more thinking and reading to really build this. I know I don't want her to be Odette But To The Left.

Much to think about.

[hanna-oc-irl]

Sigh.

The fsm or literally just fate itself must really hate it when I get some kinda peace.

Anyway.

Happy day of the departed everyone.

I'm going to mourn what once was and cuddle with void

[moomoocowmaid]

[peachpitlover]

What Once Was

Secret relationship!jj x reader

It’s currently one a.m., and you’re in bed with JJ. Your mom is the only person who knows about you too; she let him in about fifteen minutes ago after he spent the day on the boat with the Pogues. As soon as he got in your room, he took his clothes off and jumped on your bed, crawling under the covers and pulling you close.

"I missed you today," he whispered into your neck.

"I missed you too; did you have fun on the boat?"

"Yeah, take this off," he whined, tugging at the t-shirt you’re wearing, which is actually his.

Now that you’re shirtless, he turns you around and pulls you to lie on top of him, sighing in relief at the feeling of your warm skin against his.

JJ’s hands almost immediately start to draw random shapes along the skin of your back and kiss the side of your head. And like a reflex, your arm moves up to tangle in his hair and scratch at his scalp like you know he loves.

"What are we listening to tonight?" He asks.

You and JJ have a habit of sharing airpods and listening to music together before falling asleep, though you both almost always fall asleep before turning them off and putting the headphones away.

"I’m loving this one song, but I’ll put my sleep playlist in the queue." You smile and hand him the left airpod.

You put the song that’s been stuck in your head on queue again, so it’ll play twice in a row. It reminds you of JJ and the late nights you have together, as the nights are reserved for each other for the time being.

It’s the chorus that reminds you of giddy kisses under your covers late into the night and soft breathing against your ear as your skin sticks to his in the warm morning air.

Baby, I’ve been there before

I was at the point where all I really wanted was someone

And now I’m still hanging on

I was at the end of every tether waiting for what once was

But most importantly, it reminded you of how perfect you and JJ were for each other. How you complete one another. He's your other half, your twin flame, and your first love.

“I love you, J.”

“I love you too, Y/n. With all my heart.”

[amongthefallingstar]

Baby, I've been there before

I was at the point where all I really wanted was someone

And now I'm still hanging on

I was at the end of every tether waiting for what once was.

[k-labazarts01]

What once was

"Baby, I've been there before I was at the point where all I really wanted was someone And now I'm still hanging on I was at the end of every tether waiting for what once was..."

[kickdrumheart68]

Band Of Horses - No One's Gonna Love You [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

[thephoenixking732]

Lyra, Eclipse, and Constel are owned by @starlinglunar

Time to start archiving!

[spectralwaveliverpoolband]

Today marks four years since they left for a world different from ours, perhaps Audun Laading is still playing, sweating and dancing upstairs with that enormous personality that he had, Stephen Fitzpatrick with his beautiful choirs that left us for the rest of our lives, I still love him. I wonder if Mannie will continue in this world as well? be ; Spotify, Apple Music, Youtube or buy their CD's, their Vinyls, Let's keep the boys more alive and send them a lot of vibes that on a day like today, March 27, they need it like never before, THANKS AUDUN AND STEPHEN FOR EVERYTHING🕊️💐🌷

[lunarbuck]

What Once Was - Drabble

pairing: Bucky x OFC

wc: 430

summary: A peek into the life of Lizzie, Fiona, and Bucky three months after they move to Wakanda

warnings: none! just fluff

a/n: this is a drabble for my completed series, What Once Was!!! I am so happy to revisit these characters, even just for a few moments <3 This is my entry for Week 2 of the slumber party challenge!!

What Once Was Masterlist | My masterlist | @the-slumberparty

Lizze dipped her feet in the cool water of the river. The sun was rising in the East, and fluffy clouds floated gently through the sky. After three months of living in Wakanda, LIzze had found her favorite thing to do. It started as an early morning walk that got earlier and earlier, exploring the many trails through Wakanda’s beautiful terrain.

Eventually, it morphed into this. Leaving so early that the stars were still out and making the trek to the river, where she’d stand on the bank and watch the sun emerge from her slumber. The first time she’d left, Bucky freaked out about her going missing, so now she was careful to leave notes.

It was her favorite thing, feeling the sand between her toes, the water on her skin. She loved watching the birds and the fish. There was so much life there, in Wakanda. So much love.

She heard their footsteps swishing through the grass before she heard their voices.

“Come on, lovebug, I know you’re tired, but it’s gonna be worth it.” Lizzie didn’t need to turn around to know that Bucky had dragged Fiona out of bed to make the hike to the river for the sunset. Fiona had done it before, but never this groggily.

“Are we there yet?” Fiona practically whined, and Lizzie could perfectly picture the way her daughter probably rubbed her eyes and stomped her feet.

“Just about,” Lizzie answered as the sun started to peek out on the horizon. A moment later, Bucky and Fiona were at her side, feet in the water.

“Good morning,” Bucky whispered, pressing a kiss to Lizzie’s temple. He wrapped an arm around her waist, and she melted into this embrace. The hardest part about this morning ritual was leaving Bucky’s arms. He was like her own personal furnace. It was getting increasingly more difficult to extract herself from his warmth in the mornings.

The three of them watched the sun paint the sky with beautiful, bright colors. Ones that she was sure didn’t exist anywhere else. Stood between her parents and leaned against their legs. Lizzie’s fingers combed through her daughter’s hair, and she couldn’t help but feel content.

This was where she was meant to be. Here, in Wakanda, with her family. This was the peace she and Bucky had been searching their whole lives for. Everything before this moment felt like a dream. It felt like another reality.

“I love you,” she whispered into Bucky’s chest.

“I love you more,” he replied, lips moving against her hairline.

“I love you most.”

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[ophelie-redgrave]

What once was.

It was a sunny afternoon, Ophélie and her farher had, spent the day playing in their backyard. Her farher, a tall and gentle man with a warm smile, chased her around as she giggled and squealed with joy.

They played tag, hide-and-seek, and even had a tea party with Ophélie's stuffed animals. The air was filled with the sound of laughter and birds chirping as they soaked up the precious moments together. Ophélie's eyes sparkled with happiness, and her fathers heart swelled with love for his sweet daughter.

As the sun began to set, they sat on a blanket in the grass, watching the colors of the sky change from blue to pink and orange. Ophélie's snuggled up to her father, feeling safe and content in his embrace."Thank you for playing with me, Daddy," she said, looking up at him with a smile that could light up the sky. Her father hugged her tightly and replied, " Anytime, princess" placing a loving kiss upon thr forehead of his daughter.

This was a memory, that Ophélie would aways remember, but would also do anything to forget.

Ophélie was only about six years old at the time, in that moment she thought that nothing would ever come between the special bond she shared with her father. Both carefree, both loving and both each others favourite.

She never had been able to pin point exactly where their relationship went wrong. All she knew was that as she grew up, they futher they grew apart.

When you'd yell, I would stay silent You never noticed I was quiet I was taught that speaking up was talking back

Always first to say I'm sorry 'Cause I wanted you to like me And I thought that's what it took to make it last

It's a lose-lose That I don't choose But you don't always choose the ones you love

Apart of her has always wondered if her mother was to blame for the downfall of their relationship. She had always been close and carefree with her father, yet her mother had always cared more about appearances. A scuff of a shoe or dirt to the knee of her daughter simply would not do.

She never had been the one to play, treating her daughter more as a trophy prize to show off than an actual child.

As she grew older, she noticed a shift in her father's treatment towards her. He became less fun, more strict, expected more. He become like her mother in every sense. Their image becoming their main concern.

Soon they no longer played, they no longer laughed or cuddled. Instead he judged.

Was her hair just right? Was she clean enough? Was her skirt long enough? Did she great their guests in the correct manner? Where her grades good enough? Did she walk, talk and smile the right way?

Growing up she watched her brother do and say everything they expected. Fall to their every demand, excess beyond their expectations. It never seemed to phase him, he enjoyed it, being the golden child.

For Ophélie it was a different story, she couldn't simply fall in line with there unrealistic expectations. She didn't see things the way they did, their ideas of importance, simply wasn't important to her. She disagreed with their views, she cared not for what people thought of her.

It wasn't without trying, she tried to be the perfect daughter they wanted. Yet, the more she tried the more she failed, and with that the more she was yelled at, the more she said sorry. Each time she saw the utter disgrace and disappointment upon her father's face.

It wasn't long before she simply gave up, accepting that the love her father once had for her was gone.

She stopped trying, stopped caring and simply allowed herself to be herself. To be the person she wanted to be, not what everyone expected or desired. Even if that did mean destroying almost every aspect of a relationship she had with her father.