#What My Bones Know

[fairycosmos]

what my bones know by foo stephanie

[llovelymoonn]

knives & nothing more

hanif abdurraqib prestige \\ stephanie foo what my bones know \\ franz kafka letters to milena \\ heidy steidlmayer knife-sharpener's song \\ richard jackson basic algebra \\ mary oliver march

kofi

[melodysbookhaven]

“But after a couple of weeks of listing things I was grateful for, I came to see that the little things were everything. The little things were what I held on to at the end of the day. Single jokes that gave me the giggles. A beautiful flower arrangement, viewed through the window of a café. The fact that my cat came to cuddle me when she saw I was sad. These things gave me hope, pleasure, solace. Together, they added up to a fulfilling life. If a simple flower arrangement could make this world just a little more bearable, then perhaps my own small actions meant more than I was giving them credit for. Maybe when I made dinner, or listened to a friend rant, or complimented a woman on her incredible garden, I was helping make this world survivable for others. Perhaps that evening, when tallying up their own wins and losses for the day, someone would think of something I’d done and smile.”

Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

[furinuris]

"The more I read, the more every aspect of my personhood is reduced to deep diagnostic flaws. I hadn’t understood how far the disease had spread. How complete its takeover of my identity was. The things I want. The things I love. The way I speak. My passions, my fears, my zits, my eating habits, the amount of whiskey I drink, the way I listen, and the things I see. Everything—everything, all of it—is infected. My trauma is literally pumping through my blood, driving every decision in my brain."

What My Bones Know

Stephanie Foo

[sentientsky]

Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma (2022)

[repthy]

What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

[tetedump]

So this is healing, then, the opposite of the ambiguous dread: fullness.

- What My Bones Know, Stephanie Foo

[bandofchimeras]

hey Btw PSA for those a the BPD or CPTSD or whatever and grew up in a compliance based household, or were groomed at a young age or were super poor/abused a lot:

if r currently feeling horrible and sewercidal big reminder to check in with yourself if there is anything u recently agreed to that u have now changed ur mind on, or found out isn't possible, or u need accomodations for.

especially if it's with an authority figure, workplace or intimate partner, or someone w a lot of weight in ur life!! like someone or somewhere that determines ur access to finances, housing, emotional needs, etc.

u don't have to do stuff u can't or don't want to do!

changing ur mind and communicating it is a big way to heal even tho it's so scary at first!!!!!!! Stephanie Foo talks about that in What My Bones Know even.

In a healthy connection u r allowed to negotiate and check in & should have enough mutual respect to navigate any frustration or confusion w dignity.

if ur scared to do so, either something is not right in the connection or u might be having an emotional flashback.

it can take BIG BALLS to say "hey u know what I know I agreed to help u with this thing but Im having a flare up & can't help" or "I thought that this arrangement worked for me but now need to make some changes" to someone with real or perceived power over u (such as a Favorite Person, a manager, etc) without endless apologizing.

ofc I'm not saying 2 b a flake or arrogant.

but my friend recently reminded me, they care more about the lastingness of our connection than accomplishing this huge goal we agree on. bc I was stressing myself out about making it work.

the reality is u don't have to make it work. maybe sometimes for the government or poverty reasons - but that shit feels awful and coercive for a reason.

normally u should be able to do as u please! and it is beneficial to consider other ppl and have a community oriented mindset but - the moment u feel that cortisol running thru ur veins about "disappointing" someone or "getting in trouble" - RUN.

or at the very least, pause 2 examine power dynamics that might be at play, and how u may be projecting them or giving away ur own power bc of a trigger signaling ur body to fawn protectively.

U r an autonomous person with all the dignity and beauty and messiness that entails!

U do not need to live ur life on ur knees apologizing or serving or pleasing others at the expense of ur spiritual wholeness. in fact this usually makes (well adjusted) people uncomfortable. Cuz they don't want to dominate u for no reason!

people who enjoy power or guilt tripping u.....r not good for u to be close to. U can learn how 2 deal with that shit but 2 heal u need a lot of gentle reminders of ur autonomy, not more challenge and punishment for it!

[candlesoul]

“But what was I supposed to do with those feelings? Catalog them? Sit there thinking about them all day long? Tell them to my mommy and expect sympathy? Please. My feelings didn’t matter. They were pointless.”

― Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

[fairycosmos]

what my bones know by foo stephanie

[poetdaughter]

what my bones know by stephanie foo

[melodysbookhaven]

“Being healed isn’t about feeling nothing. Being healed is about feeling the appropriate emotions at the appropriate times and still being able to come back to yourself. That’s just life.”

Stephanie Foo, What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma

[alecksreads]

June reading wrap up ✨

Spell Bound 4🌟

Grumpy x sunshine meets wizards. I love F.T. Lukens books when I’m in a slump because they’re heartwarming and hopeful and easy to digest. And it was entertaining and hopeful to have a character continue to push forward in a space he knows he belongs in even when he’s told he doesn’t.

Lore Olympus 4🌟

Binged the whole webtoon in a few days. It was just *chefs kiss* for the romance, supportive friendships, the art style and the humour.

Tehanu 4🌟

A wonderful exploration of what it means to be a woman in the land of Earthsea and the personal sacrifices they make to forge their own freedom. I think in some regards it shows how powerless women in this world can be, but in others it shows women supporting women, and how much more resilient they are than men.

What My Bones Know 4.5🌟

This was so moving and upsetting all at the same time. It was an incredibly honest and raw look a the reality of healing and understanding that it isn’t straight forward or simple - a breakthrough once with a certain therapy doesn’t mean it will continue to be effective. I think everyone should read.

The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid 3.5🌟

I actually first started reading this book over a decade ago, before I had my first tumblr account and decided I needed to finish it. Why? Stubbornness. This memoir was entertaining and humorous, but not particularly insightful. It was a collection of snapshots of what growing up in the 50s and 60s was like without really commenting on it. Also, I listened to the audiobook and honestly it threw me when Bryson actually said the N word 🙃

[whoismims]

2023 was the year I was able to rediscover my love of reading after a difficult time, particularly at the height of the pandemic. Here are some of my favorite books that I read.

[sfsolace]

"As I look out onto my community, all in one place for the first time in my life, I think, 'Man. These are good goddamn people.' Each one represents countless acts of love and kindness, late-night calls and baked goods, cold beers and warm hugs. Behind all these smiles is a lifetime of joy. The void is, for once, full. It is overflowing."

-Stephanie Foo, "What my bones know"

[jesquotes]

Estrangement is not freeing. It has not felt joyful. It has not been happy. It has only felt necessary, and even that is something I question all the time: Does this make me selfish? Does it make me cruel? The silence now is not so different from the lonely holidays I endured over the years, an extension of the months of silence we'd exchanged but more total. There is one major difference: I don't have to work on earning his love anymore. I can just work on accepting that I will never have it. That is far from peace. But it is what it is.