#Wet as a Shag

[bitter1stuff]

Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable

TODAY'S ENTRY: Shag

[shuckstruck]

saw some horrors this weekend that changed me fundamentally i think

AND- the horrors aside- my mom accidentally left the gate open and my black lab puppy took off for nearly two hours this afternoon. we drive all around town looking for him and couldn’t find him fucking anywhere. eventually we got a call and got him. we almost drove right by him cause he stood so stock still when he saw our car that i thought he was one of those tacky lawn ornaments ppl put out of animal silhouettes lmao

[bi0-generator]

[scalpelsister]

i fear my curtain bangs might just be bangs

[sohannabarberaesque]

Some moments of fun with Shag Rugg and the village wet nurse of Hog Waller

It's commonplace for Maw Rugg to be on the sidelines every now and then back in the Ozarks country around Hog Waller from wet nursing and spending some "quality time" with that rather lively young son of hers, Shag Rugg ... and if not to put Paw Rugg in line and get things done around their modest farmstead, than to diet on such substances as will stimulate breast milk production. And if it's the latter, Shag will readily be left with Wet Nurse Wilma, who turns out to be Hog Waller's village wet nurse, providing lactate nourishment at the ursine breast for such ursine mothers unable to fill such need for their infants.

But at least to Shag Rugg, Wet Nurse Wilma manages to be something of a substitute mother herself. And like Maw Rugg, Wilma is also fond of the ursine water sports habit in the local river as much for exercise and sustenance as for filling the need for ursine lactation in as natural and pure a manner as it can get. Especially underwater, even to the point of adopting a kneeling stance in the river shallows enough so the breasts are underwater, which can get to feeling rather interesting.

Which Shag can pretty much live with when Maw needs to replenish the nourishment enough to produce breast milk, such based on hill country knowledge and lore of various plants in this respect--especially fenugreek, fennel, milk thistle, goat's rue and blessed thistle.

On one particularly mild autumnal weekend heading into winter, as Maw Rugg was preparing her usual breast milk replenishment exerciseds, Shag Rugg was inevitably left with Wet Nurse Wilma to fill his breast milk needs, which were bound to be rather crazy when you stop to consider how curious Shag Rugg can get. Admittedly, Wilma's breasts were of such massive proportions to satisfy village needs for wet nursing, which was bound to seriously fascinate Shag.

The which was bound to be evident when, during an afternoon session of underwater breast feeding, Shag, attaching his lips to her breast to drink of his fill, couldn't help but be so amazed at the size of Wilma's breasts ... or even the way Wilma caressed them with love to stimulate the flowage of breast milk. Oh yes, and her ursine nakedness, which had Shag rather fascinated to the point of such being obvious between his legs as the breast feeding climaxed. And on a signal, Wilma had Shag leave her breast and begin something of a fascinating show of diving which, even for a young cub like Shag, couldn't have been rather deep and loving (about six feet at most, but on a dare, Shag dived to about ten feet, pretty much the river's deepest point in those parts, on one occasion). And one evening, in sharing her family to Shag--

"Have I ever mentioned to you, Shag, why I find breast feeding underwater especially fascinating?"

To which Shag explained, "I'd have to say, from experience with my own mother, Maw Rugg, that it just feels so--fascinating, just taking my milk underwater in such a fascinating setting! And doesn't it just seem that breast milk must taste more delicious when taken underwater, knowing some diving and swimming are bound to follow?"

"I think you probably answered my question rather aptly, Shag." was how Wet Nurse Wilma parsed it. "And besides, what could be a better motivation to learn ursine aquatics than to be breast fed underwater?"

"Awww ... doesn't it feel oh so wonderful to see you stroking your breast like you do when I'm sucking on it, and just the sheer feeling as must come over me--"

To which the village wet nurse remarked, "From experience myself, what could be more interesting a feeling worth sharing, especially when some diving is bound to come along?"

Talk about stimulation ...

*************

@warnerbrosentertainment @railguner34 @zodiacfan32 @jellystone-enjoyer @a-gang-of-silly-bananas @archive-archives @themineralyoucrave @thylordshipofbutts @princessgalaxy505 @screamingtoosoftly @thebigdingle @warnerbros-blog1 @ultrakeencollectionbreadfan @theweekenddigest @indigo-corvus @groovybribri @warnerbrosent-blog

[passionfruitmango]

The nonbinarian desire to trim my hair until all the dead bits are off

[poisekay-blog]

Bangs and Bobs: the haircut trends set to dominate 2024

Courtesy: Showbiz Daily (English) https://www.msn.com/en-XL/news/others/bangs-and-bobs-the-haircut-trends-set-to-dominate-/ss-AA1dlKJH?ocid=sapphireappshare

[dmitriene]

kind of continuation to this drabble

könig knows you're nothing like the other girls he was used to shag, and he's smitten by it, in the way you calmly agree and stay in his apartment, when after breakfast in bed he says that you're not going anywhere and gonna stay beside him, he's sure that you have some small job like as a charming waitress in a cafe, friends you would like to see, family after all, but you look at him through batting eyelashes and hum in agreement, stretching on the sheets beneath you.

he calls you his girlfriend as a test, and your eyes sparkle with naive adoration as you stretch your arms in his direction, making könig bend his whole body down to your level with rippling muscles, so you'll swipe your soft palms against his wide shoulders and loop your hands around his thick neck, pressing a smudgy kiss to his rough, stubbled jaw, nuzzling in his shoulder like some docile pet, only mewling adorably when he catches your lips into a sloppy, lewd kiss.

you really just stay, don't run away, don't call him a weird creep, use his bathroom to wash and wash loads of his thick, sticky cum out of your still aching, puffy pussy, without twitching when he suddenly decides to join you by snuggling up from behind, his bulky frame crowds almost all the space in the shower, shielding you from all the water that now drips down the broad expanse of his back, as his hardened, chubby cock presses against the small of your back.

könig is fisting the length with one of his free hands that aren't curled around the curve of your waist, creeping to paw at your soft breast, until you claw at his wrist when he guides his throbbing cock between your folds, and they're already slick with your tacky arousal, your spine arching delicately as you wiggle your supple ass, pressing back against his fat, leaking tip that nudges at your pulsing hole, letting him slip inside without a stretch, pussy comfortably loose as you whimper sweet, throaty mewl when he bottoms out.

you let him cream your cunt till it's leaking out of you again, oozing between your supple, wet thighs, legs shaking and starting to buckle beneath you as könig whines in your ear, biting at your lobe with hoarse moans, dumping load after load in your fluttering, gushy cunt, scooping you in his arms when your feet does give up beneath you, making him carry you out from the shower, and with hasty wipes of a towel against your smooth skin and between your legs, he carries you out to the living room.

könig makes you wear his clothes and just a pair of cotton panties beneath, and it's not a problem to you at all, you walk around his apartment just the way he wants, using his lap instead of a couch or a chair while in the kitchen, and you let him cum in your pussy even with your legs hoisted up on his shoulders as he rams in you with messy jerks of hips, sprawled on the kitchen table, so his cum would stain your panties and make you walk all oozing with his claim.

it's doesn't matter if your life now reminds one of a fleshlight, you ain't complaining, cuddling against könig's brawny chest for some head strokes and little rubs behind your ears, pressing kisses on his rough face, making könig grin in boyish, lopsided way, before moving his hand down to squeeze and grope at your round, doughy tits, calling you his albernes haustier, and like the obedient one, you just nod and smile adoringly.

main masterlist. quidelines.

[mystellenia]

ellie's breeding strap

summary: ellie tries out the cum filled strap with you for the first time.

content: dommy mommy!ellie, sub!reader, breeding kink, cum filled strap, mention of reader ovulating, begging, praise, one (1) pussy slap, oral (r receiving), strap on sex (r receiving), horndog!ellie, desperate!reader

notes: giggling at how when i started writing this i was like ‘gonna keep this under 1k words!!’

(wc 2.0k)

"baby!" you hear ellie yell out, hearing her tone turn whiny. "are you almost done? come back, please." 

"yeah, i'm getting out now!" you pull the shower curtain open as your pruned fingers wrap around the faucet handle, the pitter-patter of the shower water slowing down to a stop. wet feet sinking into the shag rug just outside the tub, you wrap yourself in your towel and dab your skin dry, securing it under your arms. 

"there you are," ellie says, moving her gaze up from her phone to follow your covered figure as you make your way across the bedroom. her eyes briefly drop to the hem of your towel at your mid-thigh before moving back up to your head. she watches you rummage through the dresser and pull out a pair of clean underwear and one of her folded oversized t-shirts. 

"ugh, i hate showering but i love feeling clean." you place the underwear on the top of the dresser and unfold ellie's shirt to look at the design. without folding it up again, you drop it in the drawer and pull out another one of her shirts, again unfolding it and holding it up to examine it. "my phone says i’m ovulating today. wanna get me pregnant?" you joke, throwing a smile over your shoulder at her to see her head perched up against the headboard and her eyes zeroed in on you. 

"whoa," you shudder while turning your head back to face the shirt again. her gaze was almost predatory, and it made a warm feeling swirl in your stomach. "don't look at me like that." 

"like what?" she mutters, throwing her legs over the edge of the bed to stand up. 

you settle on this shirt and shut the drawer, pivoting to face her. "like that," you say, "like i'm a turkey leg. like you wanna eat me." you say the last part a bit quieter, intimidated by her stalking closer to you. you then become hyperaware of the single layer between your body and her, one that could very easily be discarded. 

ellie finally approaches you, her eyes flicking down to your exposed shoulders and then back up to your eyes. she raises her hand to grab a strand of hair, thumbing the wet lock and twirling it around her finger. 

"you're ovulating today," she echoes lowly, to herself more than to you. pulling her fingers back, she lets the hair fall to your shoulder and watches a drop of water trickle down from it. 

you try to appear unaffected, but your breath can't help but hitch at the cold drop of water falling down, eventually getting soaked up by your towel. 

ellie pushes your hair over your shoulder and wraps her hand around the back of your neck. she draws in and just lets her lips brush over yours, laughing at how you try to chase them as she pulls away a little. 

"oh, no, baby." she pulls your towel out from under where it was secured under your arm and lets it fall to your feet. your nipples immediately tighten at the wave of air and at her presence. you almost whine at how she hasn't looked down at your body yet, her gaze still fixed on your face. 

"get on the bed," she orders. 

your brain was fogged by lust, and you ask her to repeat herself. 

"get" —she steps aside to clear a path for you to lay on the middle of the mattress— "on the bed." 

you slowly walk towards the bed, one shy foot in front of the other, and ellie pushes on your shoulder when you stand about two steps from the bed, making you fold over onto the mattress. your knees slightly touched the floor, but your damp torso was spread across the cold sheets, your body wrapped around the edge of the bed in an "L" shape. 

you feel ellie's warm palms on your shoulders, tracing down your spine and down to your ass where she begins to roughly knead the fat. 

"mmmm," she groans, soaking up the way you squirm under her touch. she kneels down and spreads your ass cheeks to get a clear view of your cunt, puffy and crying for her. 

she presses a firm kiss to your neglected clit, and you jump, surprised by the sudden touch. sticking her tongue out, she licks a long, flat strip up from your clit to your pulsing hole. you push your hips back into her face and whine, chasing the pleasure from her mouth. 

ellie stands back up and harshly slaps your pussy, making you yelp out and close your thighs around her hand. her hand wraps around your left knee and quickly flips you over onto your back, now grabbing both knees and pushing you higher onto the bed by thrusting her hips into yours. 

"ellie," you breathlessly plead, needing more than what she was giving you. 

she climbs onto the bed to kneel in between your spread legs, your bare pussy so close to her clothed one. "yeah, baby?" 

simply whining, you lock your feet around her hips and pull her closer to you, the brief friction of her jeans on your clit making your eyes close. 

ellie drops a hand by your head and leans down to kiss your neck, sucking her way up to your lips into a messy kiss. she moans into it, her other hand trailing down to rub your thigh that was hugging her hips. she moves it down to your weeping cunt, just sliding three fingers up and down to gather your slick. your hips buck at the teasing, and you break the kiss in frustration, throwing your head back onto the sheets. 

"ask me to put my fingers in," ellie says, her eyes locked on yours. 

you lift your head back up to look at her. "i..." you try, but trail off into an embarrassed whine. 

she clicks her tongue. "come on, baby, use your words. i'm not doing it until you ask me." 

"please give me your fingers... inside, please," you murmur lowly and close your eyes, your face warming. ellie lets it slide because she needs this just as much as you, if not more. 

she dips her fingers into you and stops at her last knuckle, letting you adjust to it while her thumb rubs your clit. once you start getting restless, she pulls her fingers out and thrusts them back in, finding the rhythm that makes your moans the loudest. 

your eyes crack open to look at her, her eyes already on your face. "you look prettiest when i have you like this," she says, her eyes dropping down to watch how your pussy swallows her fingers in. 

keeping her fingers pumping inside you, she lowers her face down to your core and latches her lips onto your clit. your hips fly off the bed and you shriek, your hand flying up to your mouth to cover it. the duet of ellie's fingers rubbing your g-spot and her mouth violently sucking on your clit brings you to your climax embarrassingly fast. your hands shoot to her hair, pulling her head into you as you ride out your orgasm.  

ellie pulls her fingers out but continues to lap at you until you grow overstimulated and push her away. she kisses your stomach, then moves up to your lips to kiss them. you moan at how you can taste yourself on her lips, your cunt clenching at the thought. 

"i have something to try, i'll be back. don't let your hands trail down, yeah?" she drops one last kiss on your cheek, standing and making her way to the bathroom. you think about touching yourself while she's gone, but you quickly remember what she said and settle for just rubbing your nipples.  

after about two minutes, the bathroom door opens and out walks ellie with a new strap secured to her hips. she's ditched her shirt and sports bra, but her jeans and boxers are pushed down to her mid-thigh, seemingly just low enough for her to buckle the harness on without getting fully naked. as she walks closer, you examine it more. it's black, a little skinnier than the ones ellie normally uses, but this one is much longer. you notice a small hole at the very tip. 

"it's a breeding strap. remember how we were talking about it?" ellie says, closely watching your face to gauge your reaction. 

your pupils swell with lust, and you forget to verbally respond, instead dumbly nodding while still looking at the strap. 

she chuckles at your response, at your eagerness. "yeah?" 

"yeah," you breathe, opening your legs just slightly to not look so desperate, even though you were. 

ellie settles on the bed on her knees, lifting your legs and placing them on her thighs. she spits down onto the strap, pumping it with her hand to lube it up for you, and the sight makes your stomach tighten. 

rubbing the tip through your folds, she squeezes your thigh in confirmation. "you ready?" 

"yes," you respond breathlessly, your clit throbbing in anticipation. 

she grunts in response, pushing the tip inside. with the strap being skinnier, the stretch isn't too bad. by the time she normally bottoms out with other straps, though, she continues, and you look down in surprise, still seeing a good inch and a half left. the further she pushes in, the lower your jaw drops, a loud moan escaping your mouth once you finally feel her hair tickling your clit. 

"how you doing?" ellie asks, checking in on you. 

"yes, again. do it again." you move your body up so she can pull out faster and thrust in again. 

she smiles at how clearly you're enjoying this, and obeys. this time, she thrusts in quicker, forcing a gurgled whimper out of you. 

"fuck," she exhales. pulling out again, she settles at a faster pace, the tip deliciously prodding your cervix. 

it was clearly one of your more vocal days, your moans and whimpers bouncing off of every surface in the room, the wet slapping of your ass meeting ellie's thighs still audible. ellie only rarely got you so broken down like this so quickly, and she felt that dangerous swirling heat deep in her stomach, the base of the strap pushing on her clit at the perfect angle. 

"so deep," you manage to eke out. 

"i know, baby. so deep. gonna give you my kids, yeah?" her legs began to shake and she was starting to sound strained, telltale signs that she was getting close. she brought her hand in between the two of you to quickly rub your clit, and your moans somehow grow even louder. 

"i'm gonna cum," you basically whisper, unable to form a thought longer than five words. 

"you gonna cum?" ellie echoes and you rapidly nod. "say my name when you do." 

your moans become weak whimpers as you cum. "el- ell- fuck," you try twice and fail to say her name. her orgasm slams into her at how pathetic you sound, and her hand scrambles to squeeze the base of the strap, shooting warm cum deep into your cunt. the tightness in her stomach doubles at the sight of cum leaking out the sides of your pussy, the thought of her seed inside of you enough to make her moan. 

ellie collapses onto you, a twitching and panting mess. you lay lifeless underneath her, trying to regulate everything after a mind-numbing orgasm.  

"jesus fucking christ," she breathes out. 

you loosely throw your arms around ellie's back. "that was so good," you pant. "wanna order in?" 

"in, like, ten minutes. can't pull out yet, i gotta give it time to hold." 

i havent posted in like 2 months i think sorry my kittens. i like never post 2k words tho so stay well fed. also go drink some water bc i always forget

reblogs appreciated :')

@abbysbug @starlight-savegery @saturnsdrafts @yalaysbee @ieatpancreas

@ashlynlovestlou @macaroni676 @les4elliewilliams @jeonkio05 @leosw0rld

@elliewilliamskissr1 @urlocalelliesimp @syndicakes @euphoric-rush @yurixxiii

@montyvocx @unemployedstonerlizard @staryiuu @nevergooddreams @cherrywyn

@ghostly-bubbles @mikellie @elliesfavwife @g0d-wont-let-me-die @elliewilliamssrealgf

@visupremacysstuff @pieceofabby @distantsapphicdream @faithlehaneirl @n0t-elliewilliams

[xbellaxcarolinax]

imagine Miguel and trying to stay quiet but he’s hell bent on getting you to make noise for him so he starts working HARDER and biting you to get you to moan for him — 🥵🥵🥵

Hope you like <3

NSFW under the cut

...

You wanted to scream, your throat tight with pressure.

You fought to keep it together, slapping a hand over your mouth while you obediently bounced on Miguel’s cock. This position was always a mission, your thighs spread a little too wide to accommodate him, his large cock reaching parts deep within you that you didn't know were possible. 

He had a bruising hold on your hips, his fingers digging into your skin as he guided you at the speed he wanted. 

“Too quiet,” he grunted in protest, eyes trained on your face, “you know I hate it when you’re quiet.” 

“Y-you know damn well why I’m quiet.” You argued weakly, your hands flying to grip his shoulders tightly, nails biting into his tanned skin. You tossed your head back at a particularly intense thrust, chest heaving and pussy throbbing with need and arousal. 

Miguel made a noise of disapproval at your words, brows furrowed as he concentrated, his hand now roaming to grasp one of your tits.

“Don’t care.” Of course, he didn’t.

You were in one of the restrooms at HQ, shoved into a stall that barely held enough space for the width of Miguel’s broad shoulders, let alone the both of you for a quick fuck session. It was a tight fit, even when he sat on the lid of the toilet, forcing you over his lap with a simple tug of your waist.

Not the most convenient place to be in a compromising position. 

“Y-you should,” you whimpered, biting your lip at the delicious stretch of him, “a-anyone could walk in and hear.”

“Don’t care,” he repeated roughly, his red eyes observing the way you were creaming over his cock, “wanna hear you.” He grabbed you by the nape suddenly, pressing you against him so that he had complete access to your pretty neck.

He began to nose at the skin, inhaling the scent of your floral perfume mixed with the sweat of the current activity, before sucking a bruise. You moaned as he nibbled at your neck, gently at first, tugging and licking before he got the mark to his desired shade. The area bloomed with color, bright red, and angry.

“That’s it,” he cooed, grinning against your neck when more whimpers fell from your lips, “let me hear you." You choked out a moan, biting your lip as he continued to spear you in all the right ways, his hands gripping the bottom of your thighs to easily lift you up, only to slam you back down again. 

You arms snaked around his sweat slicked shoulders, your fingers gripping his hair as you cried out—finally—your achy cunt coating you both in your slick.

"Fuck," you cried, your eyes glazing over with tears, his cock hitting the perfect spot, "M-miguel!"

He hummed, licking a stripe down your neck before sinking his fangs into you, piercing through your skin at a superficial level, but he knew it'd be enough.

You came with a loud moan, gushing all over his cock, your juices running down his length and over his thighs. He didn't stop bouncing you on his cock, chasing his own pleasure. Your slick pussy pulsated over him, the wetness helping to glide easily in and out of you. 

"Fuck," he groaned, licking the metallic taste off your neck as he came deep inside, shoving his hips tightly against yours, "goddamn."

You dropped your forehead on his shoulder, catching your breath. Your hips ached from the position and you knew you'd be feeling the ache of your muscles and cunt for a few days.

Miguel removed his hold from under your thighs, wrapping his arms around your waist. He felt your rapid heart beat on his chest and smiled, nuzzling his face in your hair. 

"Oi!" Hobie's distinct voice echoed into the restroom, "you both done havin' a shag?" You went rigid in Miguel's arms, shrinking against his chest in pure mortification.

"Fuck off, Hobie," Miguel growled, slamming a fist against the wall of the stall to make a point. 

"Just tryin' to wash my hands boss." he chuckled, his boots squeaking under the linoleum floors.  The faucet goes off for a moment, then the paper towel dispenser before Hobie leaves. "Clean up after yourselves, yeah?"

You groaned when you heard the bathroom door swing closed, keeping yourself tight against Miguel as if he’d shield you from the embarrassment. His cock was nestled comfortably inside you, some of his seed slipping out as it softened. 

“I hate you,” you said with no bite, your words muffled by his skin. You heard him breathe deeply before he pressed a kiss over your hair.

“I hate you, too.” He said affectionately.

[scuderiahalf]

brother's prejudice — max fewtrell

pairings. max fewtrell x norris!fem!reader, lando norris x twin!fem!reader

summary. you have always been happy to support lando in any way you can but when he can't give that same support back when your relationship with his best friend is revealed, you're left wondering if your relationship with your twin brother will ever be the same. 4.2k, 18+

playlist. "idfc" by blackbear, "the heart wants what it wants" by selena gomez, "our song" by taylor swift, "it will come back" by hozier, "make me like you" by gwen stefani

warnings. lando's a bit of a dick but he makes up for it, censored oral (male receiving)

masterlist.

. . .

"Do you want me to suck your dick or do you want to watch Markiplier?"

"Do you want an honest answer?"

You huffed, and started to get out of bed. "I'm going to take a shower."

"No, baby, I'm just kidding."

Max grabbed hold of your hand before you even fully got to your feet. He tugged you back onto the mattress, pushed you down and hovered over you.

"You're too late. The moment is gone," you said.

"I'm sorry."

He tried to kiss you but only got your cheek when you turned your head to the side.

"Baby, don't be like that. C'mon."

He kissed your neck and your breath caught in your throat because you were just a girl. You were just a weak girl when it came to Max.

"I love you," he said into the skin of your neck.

"Hm," you pretended to consider it, "Apology accepted. Lay down, drama queen."

You pushed at Max's shoulder and he let you get on top of him. You grabbed a hair tie from the nightstand to pull your hair back with.

Max let his hands slide under your shirt—which was actually his shirt, which was why he was only in his sleep shorts at the moment. He freely let himself feel you up as you tied your hair up, squeezing your thighs and hips, your ass and up to your boobs.

"You've got to stop groping me if you want me to give you a blowjob."

"But you know how much I love groping you."

You laughed and pulled his hands out of your shirt. You intertwined your fingers with his, leaned down to kiss his nose.

"You're really making it seem like you don't want me to suck you off."

"I never said that."

You kissed the knuckles on each of Max's hands before shimmying further down the bed, pulling the blankets with you. Soon, the only sounds in the room were Max's sighs of pleasure and the lewd, wet noises coming from your mouth.

Then, someone with the spare keycard to Max's hotel room unlocked the door and entered without knocking.

"Max, mate, the plane's leaving at ten, not eleven, apparently. I tried texting you in the group chat but—what. The. Fuck."

Thank god Lando was a naturally loud individual, giving just enough time for you to sit up and wipe your mouth, for Max to pull his shorts back up. You both faced Lando with similar caught expressions, still tangled up in bed together but thankfully without your lips currently around Max’s dick.

"Are you actually kidding me? My sister? What the fuck, mate?"

You jumped in to try and defuse the situation before it escalated. "Lando, just wait a second. Let me explain—"

Lando cut you a harsh glare. "I'm not fucking talking to you. We can talk about you acting like a slag later."

You drew back, more than a little hurt at your twin's words and the tone in which he said them.

"Don't talk to her like that," Max stood up for you.

"That's really what you're worried about right now?"

"That you're calling your sister a slag? Yeah, it is."

"What the fuck is going on? You get busy with the one girl that has always been off limits and you think you're some sort of knight in shining armor?"

"Let's just all wait a second. Yeah? Let's just take a breath."

“Shut up, Y/N.”

“Lando, if you think—“

“Please don’t argue, Max—“

“He’s being a fucking dick to you, Y/N—“

“I’m being the dick? You’re shagging my sister—“

“That’s no excuse to talk to her like that—“

“It’s not like that—“

“How long has this been going on?”

“Lando, just listen—“

“Ten months.”

You close your eyes.

“TEN MONTHS!”

The flight back home was going to be a long one.

.

“You really don’t have to come.”

“Do you not want me to?”

“No, I do but… Lando is going to be there.”

“And you don’t trust him not to cause a scene?”

“I don’t know if I trust either of you not to get into a shouting match in front of our parents.”

You were already dressed and ready to go to your parents for dinner. You sat on the bathroom counter as Max finished getting ready. He was fixing his hair, the last step before he would be done, also.

You watched as the gentle, concentrated furrow in his brow deepened to one of anger. “He called you a slag, Y/N. I don’t care if he’s your brother; that’s not okay.”

“He said I was acting like a slag—“

“Same difference.”

“—and he didn’t mean it. He was just caught off guard. I did go behind his back…”

“Don’t paint him as the victim. Admittedly, we probably should have told him sooner but that doesn’t mean he gets it be a dick about it.”

Max momentarily abandoned his hair to squeeze your knee.

“You have to stop making excuses for him.”

“He’s my brother.”

“And he has always walked all over you. When was the last time he properly apologized to you for anything?"

“Max…”

This wasn’t the first time Max had brought this up and every time, you deflected or excused everything Max tried to shine a light on. Lando was Max’s best friend but he was your brother, your twin brother. You had never not known him.

Lando was integral in who you were as a person. You were made as a pair. You grew up as a pair. You had always had each other. He was your built in best friend. You always had his back, no matter what.

If you were a pushover, if you let Lando tease you and speak to you in ways you’d never let anyone else, if you tolerated things from him you that you shouldn’t, then that was your decision.

Max didn’t understand that. He didn’t seem capable of understanding the complex workings of your relationship with your twin. You would do anything for Lando, regardless of what it would mean for you, and you were fine with that.

That was how it had always been: Lando, the showman, and you, the supportive sister. Even back when you were karting together, Lando was out front and you were playing defense to protect his position.

You celebrated his victories more than you ever celebrated your own but that was fine. He was your brother and you loved him.

“Okay, fine. Whatever,” Max relented on that front. “But this is a step too far. He doesn’t get to act like a petulant little kid because I’m dating you. Calling you names and running away to Monaco when he’s meant to be filming with Quadrant. He’s being ridiculous.”

Some part of you knew the punishment of Lando ignoring you for the past month didn’t fit the crime of not telling him you were dating Max. The bigger, more conscious part of you felt like carving “traitor” into your forearm with a steak knife and hoping the pain would make your brother forgive you.

Your messages to Lando had become a wall of blue, full of apologies, begging to let you explain, attempts at striking up a conversation like normal, asking if he had meant to cancel your plane ticket to the Azerbaijan Grand Prix followed by even more apologies and then congratulations on a race well done.

You played with your fingers the whole car ride. Max reached over at one point after you had started picking at your cuticles to kiss the back of your hand and hold it the rest of the way, making idle talk that did nothing to distract you from what you were headed towards.

After Lando found you two in Max’s hotel room and the ensuing argument got heated on both of the boys’ sides, Max stayed with you for a few days. When he finally went back to his and Lando’s London flat hoping to talk things out before filming for Quadrant, Lando had cleared out.

He posted a rather passive aggressive Instagram story a few days later about “real friends” featuring some other F1 drivers all holding padel rackets. Max had not been happy when he found you torn up over it, shedding tears over the fear that you had lost your brother.

You had always been sensitive. Quick to cry, quick to care, quick to get attached, quick to get hurt. Lando poked fun at you for it your entire lives but he was also the first to jump in and defend you whenever anyone else said anything to you.

Lando’s distance over the last few weeks hurt. Like, physically hurt. You would see something that you thought he would find funny and go to text him about it just to remember he was giving you the silent treatment and your chest would hurt for the next several hours as you waited on a reply that never came.

Despite it all, when you saw Lando stood in the kitchen with your mom, the first time you had seen him in over three weeks, you couldn't help but smile.

He was halfway to returning it, as if on instinct alone. Then, he noticed Max at your back and his face fell devoid of any sort of pleased emotion. Your own smile fell, chest starting to ache again.

“Y/N darling, there you are.” Your mom came over to hug you and kiss your cheek, then did the same to Max. “And Max! Your best be treating my girl right.”

"Of course, Mrs Norris."

"Stop it with that; I've told you to call me Cisca."

"Mum knows?" Lando said. "You already told mum? Did she know before I did?"

You drew a sharp breath. It was difficult to talk to Lando when his tone was both wounded and accusatory.

"She called me not long after you boys had your spat," your mom explained, "Told me all about her and Max and I couldn't be more pleased. I always knew you fancied him, Y/N, even back in your karting days."

"Muuuum," you groaned, embarrassed even if Max already knew how long you had been crushing on him.

Max laughed and kissed your cheek. "The Shield fancied me."

"Shut up."

“The Shield” was the cringe-worthy nickname that karting media outlets had given you back in the day on account of how difficult it was to overtake you. So much of your karting career had been defense for Lando but you always felt a little victorious whenever you made a boy mad about getting beat by you simply because he couldn't get around you.

You could have gone far in racing if you hadn't quit after a single season of F4.

Lando gagged at Max's display of affection.

Max zeroed in on him, eyes sharp and mouth opening to call him out. You caught his shirt between your fingers, silently reminding him that he had promised not to start a fight. He looked mighty unhappy about it, but Max let his chest deflate and followed you into the dining room to help your other siblings set the table.

Ten minutes later, you all sat down to eat.

This was not the first time Max had dinner with your family. It had become such a common occurrence that it didn't cross any of your minds that your typical seating arrangement had your dad at one head of the table, your mom at the other, your older brother and sisters on one side, and you, Lando, and Max on the other, in that order, always with Lando between you.

Even dating Max, you didn’t think to sit next to him because that was Lando’s seat. It didn’t even cross your mind that it might not have been the best decision to sit your twin next to his best friend who had gone behind his back to date you for months without telling him but it was too late for that.

Lando was the last to sit down after going to retrieve the forgotten napkins. You considered swapping seats last minute as he hesitated over the dining room threshold, then thought better of making a scene and resigned yourself to a torturous dinner without being able to hold Max's hand through it all.

After getting caught by Lando, you had told your mom about you and Max. She had obviously clued your father in but you weren't sure which of your siblings knew the full extent of what went down when Lando found out.

Oliver and Cisca seemed oblivious enough, even if they were casting confused glances at you, Lando and, Max, trying to figure out why the three of you weren't speaking to each other. However, Flo was keeping an awfully watchful eye on your twin and boyfriend, as though waiting for the show to begin.

Table talk was casual and nearly pleasant. With Lando uncharacteristically silent beside you, and Max refusing to so much as look at his best friend, you couldn't fully enjoy spending time with your family while they were all together.

Max caught your eye behind Lando. He gave you a smile, one you couldn't quite return. Lando leaned back and got in the way of your eyeline to Max. You turned back to your food, continuing to pick at the delicious pork your mom had cooked but not able to enjoy it.

"Max, what of you?"

"Sorry?" Max was about as clueless to the conversation at hand as you were.

"Do you have plans to visit Monaco any more this year?"

They must have been talking about the trip your parents and youngest sister would be taking to Monaco during Cisca's summer break. You had planned on taking time off work to go with them, as well as with Max later in the year, closer to the end of the F1 season to attend a few races and help film some Quadrant content.

"Are you and Y/N going sometime together, possibly?"

It was a harmless enough suggestion from your mother. She probably only wanted to try and get Lando and Max to say a word to each other.

Then, despite having already agreed to house both of you later in the year, Lando said, "They haven't mentioned anything."

You really were not enjoying this dinner.

It was getting harder and harder to have all your siblings in the same place as you all got older. Only Cisca lived at home now and she was going off to uni in Manchester next year.

You missed when being with your family was easy, when you didn't even have to think about it. You missed your childhood bedroom that was now the second guest bedroom, your and Lando's bunk beds long gone.

You missed your brother terribly, even if it had only been about three and a half weeks since contact was cut. You didn't want to lose him to something like this but at the same time, you couldn't imagine letting Max go.

Max made you so happy. Couldn't Lando see that? Couldn't he see how in love you were? Couldn't he accept your and Max's relationship for the sake of not wanting to lose his twin sister and best friend?

You would do anything for Lando. You had given up so much for him. You supported him at every twist and turn of your lives. You just wanted things to be okay again.

"Y/N darling, what’s wrong?"

Your mom’s question was quiet, meant to not attract anyone’s attention. But Lando and Max were both quiet, too, in unsettling amounts from the two of them. They both looked at you just in time to see you wiping at your cheek.

"I'm fine."

Except you weren't fine. You were sad and nostalgic and sick of feeling that way and now you were all teary. You just wanted a nice dinner with your family where the two men you loved most in the world acted normal and you didn't start randomly crying at the dining table.

Lando put his hand on your arm. "Y/N/N, are you alright?"

Like his touch finally shook loose something inside you that you had been holding back since the hotel argument or maybe even longer, you rounded on your twin brother.

"No, I'm not alright! How could I be alright when you're acting like this?"

Lando immediately threw his walls back up, going on defense. "You and Max went behind my back."

"And that means you get to throw a month long hissy fit over it?"

"You've been dating for ten months!"

"It's actually eleven, now, mate."

Lando turned to shoot a glare at your boyfriend. "Shut up, Max."

"Stop being a dick, Lando! Just stop! Yes, we should have told you sooner. Yes, I'm sorry you found out like you did. But that doesn't mean you get to treat me, treat us like this."

"How am I supposed to react?"

"You're supposed to get over the initial shock and be happy that two of the people you care about are happy together."

(On the other side of the table, Cisca leaned closer to Oliver. "When did Y/N and Max start dating?"

"I think he said eleven months ago."

"That long and they haven't told us?"

Flo shushed them both. "Shut up; I'm trying to watch.")

"How am I meant to be happy about you two lying to me for the last year?" Lando demanded.

"I have been trying to apologize and talk to you about that for the last month and you haven't let me! You ran off to Monaco, ditched your Quadrant responsibilities, and left me thinking that I'd ruined things forever. That's such a dick move, Lando! Fuck—"

You were crying again. You wiped angrily at your cheeks, wanting to be taken seriously and get your point across but it was difficult when you had tears running down your face.

"You can't just ditch me like that when things get rough. It's not fair when I've been there with you through everything. I have never not supported you. I have always been there for you. I quit racing so that you wouldn't get passed over. But the second I do something you don't like, you can't give me even an ounce of support in return."

"What do you mean you quit racing so I wouldn't get passed over?"

Your chest went still, blood running cold. Shit. Shit shit shit, Lando was never meant to know about that. You had never planned on telling him. Never ever. Not even when you were old and saggy and there would be no consequences. You were meant to take that secret to the grave.

"That's not what's important. I don't understand—"

"What did you mean, Y/N?"

You gulped. "It's nothing. It was a long time ago, anyway. It doesn't matter."

"Y/N."

.

"Me? You want to sign me?"

The Josef Kaufmann Racing representative grinned at your bewilderment. "Yes, you."

"No way. Are you serious?"

"Completely. It obviously won't be set in stone today and we'll need to speak with your parent or guardian but Carlin would be lucky to have you on our roster next season."

"Oh my god. No way!"

You had been worried about next season as all the 2015 series were nearing their ends and you had yet to have been scouted by any teams. Your contract with Mücke Motorsport was coming to an end after this season but now you had been offered a seat in the next level of racing, at the same team your brother was in talks with, no less.

"Oh, this is great! Lando and I will still be on the same team. You know, my brother and I have always walked about being on the same F1 team. That would be crazy, obviously, but this is just like that but on a smaller scale."

"We'd not be giving your brother a seat."

Your excitement was gone in an instant. "Sorry?"

"Lando wouldn't have the seat in Formula Renault. It would be yours, instead."

"You're offering me... my brother's seat."

"That is correct."

Just like that, you let your career die. "I don't want it, then."

The rep blinked at you. "What?"

"Give the seat to Lando. He's who you want. He's the better driver. He has always finished before me."

"He would not have if you were not defending his position. Josef Kaufmann would rather have you driving for them next year."

"I don't want the seat. Give it to Lando. I was planning on quitting racing, anyway. Sign Lando for next year. He'll do well for you."

.

"Y/N, what the actual fuck?"

You ducked your head. "Don't blow it out of proportion."

"You gave away you entire racing career at the drop of a hat because you didn't want to take a seat that I hadn't even been signed for yet? You— Why would you do that?"

"Because you're my brother."

Behind Lando, Max was staring at you, wide-eyed. All around the table, your family openly stared at you in shock, not quite able to believe the real reason you had suddenly dropped out of racing.

The reason you had given was that you had gotten bored of it. That you had only ever gotten into it because of Lando. That you didn’t want to constantly be in competition with your brother. That when Lando got famous, you didn’t want to be his lesser racing counterpart.

There may have been some truth in those excuses but the whole truth was this: you had been offered the seat Lando was negotiating for and you would not take it from him. You loved racing; you did not love it more than you loved your brother.

“Y/N, I… I honestly don’t even know what to say.”

“You could start with an apology,” Max offered.

“To both of us,” you added.

Max leaned back in his chair. “I’m good back here. Worry about me later.”

“No, she’s right,” Lando said. “I’ve been a real dick to both of you over the last few weeks. You guys didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve always had Max as my chosen best friend and you, Y/N, as my built in best friend but then you guys started getting closer. Then, I found out you’re together and it’s like, what do you need me for if you have each other?”

Any anger you may have been holding onto melted into sympathy. “Aw, Lando—“

“You are so fucking thick, mate,” Max cut in. “You think I’m going to treat my girlfriend the same way I treat your dumbass? I need a platonic best friend just as much as I need a romantic one.”

You laughed at the face Lando pulled.

“If you start referring to us as your platonic and romantic best friends, I’m fleeing to Monaco again.”

“It’s too late. It’s already started, platonic best friend.”

“Eugh, this is terrible. Go back to being awkward acquaintances, please.”

“I love her, mate. There’s no going back from that.”

You loved Max. Wholly and truly you did. How well he got along with Lando was just the icing on the cake, another thing to add onto the list of reasons you were stupidly in love with him.

Your lovesick expression must have been quite obvious because suddenly Lando was shoving your head to the side with a hand over your face.

“Oh my god, don’t look at him like that—I’m gonna barf.”

(Oliver had gone back to his food.

Cisca was still watching, confused. “Wait, so Y/N and Max have been dating for eleven months and not even Lando knew? Why?”

“Apparently, it was an oversight.”

Flo speared an asparagus. “This is better than any TV show I’ve watched all year.”

“You’re enjoying this too much,” Oliver said.

“I’m the only one enjoying this the correct amount. I’ve been waiting for Lando to stop cockblocking Y/N and Max since 2014. I am allowed to be entertained by their drama.”)

“Can we circle back to the whole quit racing because of Lando thing?” Max asked, “Because what the fuck, babe?”

“You quit racing, too!”

“Because I was burnt out, not because I would rather throw my entire career away than make my brother momentarily unhappy while other teams jumped at the opportunity to sign him up.”

“It’s fine! I mean, look at where Lando is now. Season number five of Formula One! It all worked out in the end.”

.

“Are you really okay with us being together?”

You stood outside with Lando and Max after dinner had finished up. Your parents were loading the dishwasher, Oliver was driving off down the street, and Flo was finishing up doing something with Cisca inside. The three of you were finally able to talk privately.

Lando was quiet for a while after your question. He still seemed a little hesitant but it wasn’t anywhere near how he had reacted in the hotel. He glanced down at where you were holding Max’s hand, then looked away, still thinking.

“You’re not allowed to have sex while I’m in the flat,” is what Lando eventually decided on saying.

Max, unimpressed, said, “It’s a bit late for that, mate.”

“Oh my god,” you muttered, covering your face with your hands.

Lando yelled his displeasure quite loudly. Max just laughed at him, not at all apologetic.

Even if your face was burning, at least you knew things would be okay. You had your brother back. Max had his best friend back. And Lando had both of you back.

The three of you were messy and intertwined but you would be okay.

[v1x3n]

S I L E N T C O N F E S S I O N S

kento nanami x reader ⸝⸝ navigation

୨୧ 𝘴𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 : you and kento have a odd relationship, you would have casual, friendly sex - a friends with benefits relationship some would say , but what happens when kento starts catching feelings?

୨୧ 𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘴 : fluff, smut - soft sex, big cock, fwb relationship, sweet and caring kento, whipped kento? aftercare.

“oh ken!” you moan as he thrusts into you, arms on either side of you. his hips in between your legs and his cock buried deep into you. sex with kento was not like anyone you had ever had sex with. he was caring as he pulls his long dick into your tight hole, checking every second if it's okay as he slowly pushes into you - filling you up. he was gentle with his thrusts and how she fucks you, nice and gentle when he looks into your eyes while you moan and whine his name. he was kind when you wanted something different, the only thing he would refuse is to be harsh towards you. you don't think he had it in him. he was loving with his actions and they way you fuck, he was.. he fucked like he was your husband, or maybe your boyfriend. Yet he wasn't, he was just a friend. a very special friend.

“you close, darling?” he grunts as he passionately fucks into you, slowly but deeply. you nod and grab onto his shoulders, burying your nails into him and leaving deep marks and scratches. clenching around him as his eyes roll back, you feel him reaching climax. a pleasure washing over you as you see his fucked out, sweaty and blush killed face. this was a sight you and only you saw. He swallowed as he bent down to kiss you, well he kissed you. his tongue ran over your lips then into your mouth, exploring his way in there. your moans trail and echo through his mouth as he begins to slowly kiss you. both your lips pressed together, mixing with one another. “sososo beautiful” he rambles and his hand comes to the side of your head, rubbing the hair there and you whimper at the soft motion. He ruts a little faster into you, in a response you moan passionately. “oh!” you gasp loudly. “gu- gonna cum, ken..” you whimper as you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. 

“I know” he breathes out, groaning loudly and squeezing his eyes shut. He could almost sense and feel it more than before, “can- can feel it, love” his voice strangled by the moan that falls out of him. Once he opens his eyes, you're looking up at him. with those big doe eyes he loves, fluttering eyelashes that melt him while you bring your lips to his and give him a soft kiss. flopping back down as his motions get the tiniest but faster, “this okay?” he checks and you nod. This was way more than okay.

months ago you wouldn't have imagined that you would be fucking nanami, but dreams do come true.

gojo had forced the two or yous out at a club, got yous drunk then he had fucked off. probably shagging some girl he had just met or something like that. nanami and you started talking thennn started kissing… thenn bringing him home. it escalated from there but you two had a chat, and decided maybe this could be a regular thing?

no strings attached of course, no feelings involved. He said that but did he really mean it?

kento glazes down your body, all weak and hot and it was all because of him, “cum f’ me, love” as if a cog twists into place as he says that, you come undone, cum spurting out of your hole when he pulls out. pumping his cock on top of your limp body and cumming all over your lower stomach, you whine at him as the sticky mess grows drips onto the bed sheets. the messy sheets not being s problem, kento glosses over it and looks over at you, looking down at your cunt. “fuck” he groans at the hot sight. “you okay?” he slowly gets up, grunting as he does so - you nod at him, “more than okay”

Swiftly he gets out of bed, a few groans and more grunts when he eventually stands up before he waddles off to the bathroom, grabbing a warm wet towel to clean you up. Seeing come back in a small twist in your heart beats strongly, seeing him care so much even if you were just a friend. “You didn't have t’ ken” sweetly smiling at him and his kindness, he replies, “of course I did, and I wanna” making eye contact with you as he approaches you, dapping your stomach and swiping the mess off of you, going down to your cunt. A sigh leaves you as kento cleans you up gently - not wanting to make you uncomfortable. “You are too sweet” mumbling as  you haze down at him, he smiles up at you. Almost like he said thank you with his sweet grin. 

He puts the towel into a washing basket placed in his room, and he hops into bed with you. Caressing your hair and getting you comfy - putting the blankets on you. You smile at him, he was far too kind to you. Too kind for just a friend. “You okay?” you as him, fluttering eyelashes while you grab the blanket and prop it over your chest - covering the sight from his eyes.he nods once at you, “always” 

You rest your head on his chest and he pulls you close, his fingers scraping through your hair and playing with the strands, he knew this would make you fall straight to sleep. Petting your head and stroking you, as if you were a puppy beside him. Your friend sighed contently and pulled you closer, whiffing your natural scent as he did. Your smell filling his nostrils, was it vanilla ? you smelt like the bakery you two love to go to. “Rest now, sweetheart” you nod at kento, nuzzling into his chest ,his arm wrapped around you and his other hand resting in your hair, playing with it.

Feeling your eyes flutter shut - you can hear his mutter sweet words into your hair, muffled by the slumber approaching. You could hear a, “did so good f’ me.” Your hearing blurred as you drift off into sleep, hearing his soothing voice just sent you off. You could swear you could hear him once more, you heard a, “I love you, sweetheart.” 

But that was just your half asleep mind, right?

୨୧ taglist: @zn0v1a //

[kisseobie]

240711 jongseob ❤︎ ིུ͠*:·.

pairings: jongseob x reader

warnings: nsfw (mdni)

tags: dom!seob, sub!reader, jongseob is cocky, reader is going insane over his compression shirt and baggy jeans (i am reader), nipple play, blowjob, face fucking, hair pulling, no prep, unprotected sex lol wrap it before you tap it guys, reader is nasty and grinds against his shoes, pussy slapping, rough sex, touchy in a taxi (kind of?) in the first bit, light body worship, reader is an actual whore for her boyfriend .. i think that’s it

a/n: yeah so i had to start writing this as soon as the pictures dropped sorry (i’m not) and a special dt to @lijeons because we both feel insane over him rn

“you listening?” are the only words that leave your boyfriend’s lips that you can successfully say you’ve comprehended in the painfully slow 10 minutes you’ve occupied this drive with him, and yet you are still too dazed to answer with a proper reply, merely nodding along to the question. sitting in this close proximity with jongseob, and nearly falling onto his lap at times due to the taxi driver’s reckless driving, is not an occurrence that you’d ever expect to dread, but today is different. today, jongseob decided to wordlessly proclaim “i hate my girlfriend!”, you suppose, and he might as well lower the backseat windows, stick his head out, and bellow that very phrase out to the streets, because he clearly is unaware of how embarrassingly wet you’ve been rendered in the mere minutes you’ve been in his presence.

you’re being ridiculous, the reason for your sudden dramatics being jongseob’s outfit, if you could even consider it as one rather than a feature from a slutty mens fashion magazine from the 90’s. your boyfriend, although fashionable, isn’t typically the type to pair his usual baggy pants with the tightest compression shirt you’ve ever seen, but once again, apparently today had to be different. you’re choosing to blame it on the boy spending too much time shopping with intak, making a mental note to send an unfriendly text to his hyung later. your boyfriend, bless his heart, is clueless to your internal panic, and is currently flicking through recent photos he took on his digicam whilst explaining his thought process behind each shot to you. you’re trying, you really are, to focus and bask in his excitement, but how can you be expected to pay attention when each click on his camera causes his boyish arms to shift ever so slightly, especially when the shape of his upper body is accentuated with the tight white longsleeve top that adorns his frame? are you just supposed to go on with your day and pretend that his newly found love for thin compression shirts doesn’t send heat flooding to your core?

“..and this one! i took this one in thailand because the colors reminded me of the dress you wore on our date last month.” jongseob relays to you with a toothy grin, looking at you expectedly for your reaction to his cute confession. you smile at him genuinely, temporarily tossing your arousal to the back of your mind and leaning over to place a peck on his cheek, which only makes his smile grow. “i missed you a lot seob.”

“yeah?” he asks, with an annoyingly cocky smirk already making its way on his lips.

“mhm”

he doesn’t waste any more time, grabbing at your waist to pull you into a long overdue kiss, ignoring the fact that you both are in the company of a very annoyed taxi man. you kiss back with just as much, if not more, fervor, pawing at his recently dyed two-toned shag. your hands drop to stroke and knead at his toned arms, freshly manicured nails slowly descending and scratching down jongseob’s clothed chest. he shifts his kisses to the nape of your neck, biting at your skin and pulling you in impossibly closer. you both are interrupted and awkwardly squirm away from each other as the driver’s grunt of frustration reaches your ears, and you look up to lock eyes with the man, glaring at the pair of you from the rearview mirror. you’re giggle nervously, but halt your amusement at the situation when realizing that the impromptu makeout session with your boyfriend has only made your panties even stickier than before, and you curse yourself for being so easily affected by a few of his kisses.

unbeknownst to you, your boyfriend is not as oblivious to your current fixation on his attire as you may think. jongseob resists the urge to coo out loud at how you pivot your thighs against each other to feel some friction, and at how your eyes shamelessly find purchase on his upper body every few minutes. he shimmies closer to you after a while of silence, laying his head atop your shoulder as you try to ignore how good he smells when he’s so up close, how the mixed scent of rich cologne, wood, tangerines, and boyhood makes you dizzier by the second.

he’s lifting his head now, so his lips hover dangerously close to your left ear, smiling knowingly and whispering “i take it you like my outfit?”, and jongseob doesn’t even give you a moment to react, retreating back to his side of the backseat, but not before shooting you a shit-eating grin that makes you want to sock him, albeit lovingly, in the face.

𓂃ᡴꪫ ⋆ ੈ ࣪   𓏲ּ ❤︎

the familiar rigidness of jongseob’s wooden floors poke and prod at your jelly knees, and you can already feel the soreness starting to seep into the muscle. regardless, you’d never dare to get up, not when your boyfriend has his pretty, leaking cock out, with his pants bunched up at his feet. he clicks his tongue as you wrap a manicured palm against the heavy girth, silently signaling to you to “get on with it”. you can’t even blame him for smirking and at your pathetic quickness to lap your pink tongue against his tip, not when you look like a stray cat being fed milk for the first time in weeks.

you’re maneuvering your tongue to lick long, tantalizing stripes against the prominent vein running along his length, hand still wrapped around the base that you know you won’t be able to reach with your mouth. his hisses and groans only push you further, taking his cock all the way down your mouth and suctioning your lips just how you know jongseob likes it. apparently your slow speed is not your boyfriend’s forte, evident in the way he forcefully grabs at your hair and pushes you inwards to take even more of his dick in your mouth. tears are already streaming down your face, but you love when he uses you like this, love the feeling of being suffocated by him so carelessly. you make the mistake of looking up to jongseob’s face, met with the view of the boy who’s brows are furrowed in ecstasy. he peers down at you, maintaining eye contact as he pushes your mouth off of him, giving you a brief chance to breathe.

jongseob looks heavenly, bangs dampened with his own sweat, body still clad in the white compression shirt that clings to every ripple and divot on his lean body. you can’t take your eyes off of him, almost like a moth drifting towards a flickering porch light. you beam up your boyfriend with the prettiest smile you can muster, batting your eyelashes while your fingers creep back up to find home on his thighs. he’s giggling at your sly actions in disbelief, but does nothing to stop you from licking at his fat cockhead once more. “you’re having lots of fun with this, aren’t you?” comes out of jongseob’s mouth, followed by a shaky sigh. when you don’t respond, he’s babbling again. “wan’ you to answer me y/n. couldn’t even get inside my apartment, fuck, without you jumping my bones. bet that cunt is dripping all over my floor.”

to prove his theory, jongseob lifts his shoe to push upwards against your cloth panties, your decision on wearing a mini dress today making the access easier. jongseob groans out loud when he spots the giant wet patch soaking through your underwear. despite your boyfriend examining your clothed cunt with a scoff, you aren’t embarrassed in the slightest, and can already feel yourself getting delirious from pleasure despite remaining untouched. you love when he gets like this, so cocky and dominant that it makes your cunt clench on air, weeping for some stimulation. jongseob is about to pull his shoe away from your core, but you beat him to doing so by shamelessly rocking your panty-clad cunny back and forth over the hard material. you’ve rendered the boy absolutely speechless, gyrating your hips against his shoe like a whore as your juices seep through your panties and on top of the leather material. your eyes are on his the entire time, finding amusement in his disbelief of your desperateness. you make sure to increase in volume with every rock of your hips, letting out pornographic moans as you fuck yourself on your boyfriend’s shoes.

“get up.”

it takes everything in you to not ignore his command, putting a brief pause on your pleasure as you hold onto his thighs for leverage, pushing your wobbly body up with some effort. jongseob doesn’t give you a moment to collect yourself before grabbing at your face for the nth time tonight, kissing you with teeth and tongue before pushing you onto his bedsheets behind you. he doesn’t say a word to you as he begins to lift your dress up and over your head, his silence somehow making the situation hotter. your tits are on full display, nipples hardening as they hit the cool air of jongseob’s ac unit. your boyfriend scoffs, once again, at your lack of a bra but remains silent, taking his time with kneading your boobs and kissing at the surrounding skin. he can sense your impatience, and ever the sweet boyfriend, begins to lift the hem of his own top, but is stopped by your shaky hands as you plead, “nononono, keep it on please.”

he complies to your pathetic request with a snort, refocusing to fully pull off his dirtied shoes, pants, and boxers, now only left in that damn compression shirt, accompanied with a dangly silver chain around his neck. jongseob smiles at your wandering eyes, catching you off guard by hooking his hands under your knees and pulling you towards the edge of the bed. you begin to anticipate the feeling of his slender fingers discarding your sodden panties, but it never comes. instead, jongseob circles your covered clit with his thumb, clearly enjoying teasing you. fat tears start to cascade down your cheeks once more, and you can’t stop yourself from whimpering out in both ecstasy and frustration. you know you would look ridiculous to an outsider, but right now it’s just you and jongseob, so you don’t feel embarrassed in the slightest. your begs come out rushed and wanton, the words scratching the depths of your throat.

“please seobie, touch me already! stop teasing!”

he smirks at your impatience, getting off at your very obvious desperation as he slows the pace of his thumb prodding at your puffy clit, the thin material of your underwear still clinging to your cunt.

“i am touching you.”

just as you begin to sob, jongseob wraps his delicate fingers around the straps of your panties, pulling them down in one swift motion. he leans his face in to nudge the tip of his nose against your button, inhaling deeply as to memorize your scent. you were relieved to finally be bare in front of him, but the lack of touch has you squirming against his sheets in annoyance. you know you’re acting ungrateful, with jongseob treating you so delicately, but you can’t help but want more.

a sudden smack! pulls you out of your head, the combined pain and pleasure of your boyfriend spanking your bare cunt causing you to gasp at the sudden change of demeanor. he hits your cunny again, laughing at the way you subtly push your hips forward to meet the power of his slaps. he repeats the motion a few more times, until your wetness leaves a glimmering sheen on his palm, and your pussy is an angry shade of red.

he gives you another brief moment to breathe, watching how your cunt rises and falls like a second heartbeat. he’s fisting his neglected cock to the sight of you, hair splayed out messily on his sheets, flushed cheeks with tear steaks running across them, nipples hard and vulnerable to his touch. without warning, which seems to be a running theme with jongseob tonight, he begins to slide his mushroom cockhead between your folds, hissings and cursing at the wet feeling.

“you ready?”

you nod, biting down on your bottom lip as you prop your weight onto your elbows, mentally preparing yourself for the stretch of jongseob’s cock. he leans down from where he stands to place a peck on each of your pink cheeks, drinking in your salty tears before capturing your lips into a deep kiss. when your boyfriend pulls back, he rests your smooth legs on top of his shoulders, placing a soft kiss on your left ankle, and the intimacy of it all has you falling deeper and deeper in love with him.

after what feels like eons, jongseob starts to push his girth into your tight hole, letting out a hushed “fuck” in the process. god you missed the feeling of him filling you up to the brim, missed how perfectly the pair of you fit together, creating your own sinful symphony of sloshes and grunts. once you’ve taken him in all the way, he tests the waters by thrusting slowly, making you both moan out at the familiar feeling that will never quite dull despite the countless of times you’ve felt it before. you’re staring at your boyfriend, who’s currently preoccupied with pounding into you like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do, the view making you throw your head back with a whine. your greedy pussy wraps around him so well, obscenely suctioning his cock every time the boy pulls outwards.

you watch how jongseob’s shirt continues to flex and cling onto his muscles with every motion, can feel the sweat peeking through the material as your legs stay glued to his damp shoulders. he’s breathing heavily now, little whines and whimpers giving away how much he’s missed having you like this; splayed out like a princess on his bed as he works you towards your climax. one particular thrust of his hips hits home so well that you’re seeing stars, fingers fisting his silk sheets as your cunny clenches down on him. jongseob notices the shift, and hits that particular spot over and over, quickening his pace with every thrust of his hips.

“mmm yeah, right there! right there!” comes out of your mouth so loud you’re almost afraid his neighbors will write a complaint. he only speeds up at your loud request, fucking into your gummy walls so heavenly, whispering praises and “i got you” ’s into the air. at a certain point, he’s leaned so close to your body that he lies right on top of you, the weight of his clothed chest meeting your bare one, making both of you dizzy. your perky tits press up against the smooth material of his shirt, creating a type of friction that has you toppling over, cumming around his cock with a loud cry.

jongseob isn’t holding up any better, thrusts becoming messy and irregular as your orgasm spurs him on to chase his own, and with a few more shifts of his hips he’s shooting his release into your walls, filling you up to the brim with his milky seed. he lazily strokes into you one, two, three more times before pulling out. the loss of contact, paired with the feeling of his cum leaking out of your hole, makes you whine in displeasure, already missing how nice he feels inside of you. jongseob carefully flips his body over to lay next to you, panting heavily as you extend an arm out to play with his hair.

𓂃ᡴꪫ ⋆ ੈ ࣪   𓏲ּ ❤︎

the scent of him suffocates you senses in the most heavenly way, and you tuck your face deeper into his now bare chest, shirt tossed aside somewhere on his floors. you inhale the notes of tangerine coming from the boy that you’ve become so accustomed to. sleepy and dazed, you almost miss jongseob’s husky “who knew that me wearing a tight shirt would lead to the best sex of my life?”

you make a noise of discontent and lightly shove him by the shoulder, rolling your eyes at his teasing and he just giggles like it’s the funniest thing in the world. jongseob pulls you back into him despite your whines, wrapping his arms around your naked frame and placing light pecks into your hair.

“i bought it in 3 different colors, by the way.”

you groan into his chest, causing your boyfriend to laugh out loud at your cuteness. you choose to let sleep take over instead of imagining your very hot boyfriend wear another one of those damn compression shirts in whatever fucking shades he bought them in, telling yourself that you’ll rip him a new one in the morning. or jump his bones. whichever comes first.

𓂃ᡴꪫ ⋆ ੈ ࣪   𓏲ּ ❤︎

new chat

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[12:58 pm] hey! consider killing yourself. 😊

intak 😒

[1:03pm] ??? tf i do?? ☹️

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[sohannabarberaesque]

Kaffe-Klatsche in Hog Waller

So just picture a scene featuring the ursine women of Hog Waller discussing things over coffee--especially on this particular instance as finds Maw Rugg taking some inherent pride in her habit of having that crackerjack son of his, Shag Rugg, diving in the nearby river thanks to regular underwater breast feedings which Shag can't help but relish ... and one particular neighbour being willing to serve as a wet-nurse to Shag on occasion when Maw Rugg needs to go into such condition as to replenish her breast milk.

Though at any rate, Maw Rugg admits that Shag can't resist that sensation of sucking on her breast in the river shallows....

[velvet-paradox]

Oops!

Fandom: Call of Duty Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Female reader Summary: you accidently call Simon while taking care of yourself. (got inspo from lovi on twitter) Length: Medium Warnings: NSFW 21+ ONLY, strong language, explicit content, porn with very little plot female masturbation, male masturbation, descriptive actions, anal mentions, toy mentions, A LOT of dirty talking, detailed smut. ENJOY!!!

It's not that his phone is ringing in the middle of the night. It's not even the fact he'd just finally drifted off to sleep either. When he fumbled and grumbled, (of course he was grumbling) Simon Riley wrote the book on the Art of the Grumble you were certain, he was just relieved it wasn't Price. He was exhausted and was thisfuckingclose to telling the captain to pound sand if he had to pull another fifteen hour shift on base!

But no, it was not captain Price and it wasn't Johnny either. The screen of his phone stark white, taunting him in the dark of his room, as the time and your name and picture popped up. The one he'd taken of you and König in Vienna.

What was this about now? Simon huffed, dark blonde brows forming together. You better not be calling him from the bar again, needing a ride home, not trusting anyone else to swoop in to the drunken rescue. You saved money on Uber's and he got to look after you.

WIn - win.

" 'ello bird, what is it this time?"

Silence.

"Foxy, come on now, it's late. If you need a ride jus--"

"Oh yeah, oh that feels so good." You said through your teeth, hissing from a bit of a distance. What was that? Were you getting laid? Jesus H. You sounded breathless, out of it until some more rustling and now your voice wasn't so clouded in mystery.

You whined out something fierce which both confused and interested to the masked devil.

"Fox, can you hear me? Bird answer m--"

Another low whine followed by a low and quiet buzzing. "Oh fuck, I wish you were here. Oh fuck that feels so good, bet you would have a fucking ball using this one me. Oh Simon… please!"

He sat up quickly, his ear to the phone burning hot, a blush of discovery rising through his naked body, Ghost ran hot most nights, even in the winter months and said fuck it about four years ago and slept nude. Either you were having a decent fucking shag with another man named Simon, or you were thinking about him.

Well what have we here, you little sly little fox?

"So glad I got that princess plug, this feels amazing. Oh Simon, if you only knew, if you only fucking knew the things I want from you. What I'd let you do to me, what I want -oohhh fuck too much too much--" you cried and the buzzing stopped abruptly. You were panting and humming and without a second thought Simon's hand was stroking his waking cock through his sheets.

And just what did you want him to do? Simon bit his lip as he listened in, pulling his phone away only for a moment, making sure the volume was at it's highest before he put it on speaker.

"O-oh god, yeah. I don't wanna' cum again just yet! Want you to tease me, tie me up and make a mess. Mmmm maybe you'd make me clean it up too. I'd ride your fucking boots if you asked!"

Oh. Simon was not expecting that sentence or the filthy way you moaned, satisfied with saying it out loud.

"Can I? Can I L.T. can I ride your boots, I'll clean up m-my mess, I promise. Mmm, sitting under desk, your personal desk bunny you're," you really started breathing hard then, whimpering as he could now make out a wet, splotching sort of noise. Oh fuck- you were fingering yourself now. "Your fucktoy. Oh god! Yeah, I wanna' be your little fuck toy. Use me. Use my mouth, use my fucking pussy, I am so wet right now, oh shit!" You giggled wetly to yourself, gasping and Simon could only imagine you adding another finger into your spongy hole.

A fucktoy? boot riding? a plug in your asshole with fingers in your cunt? You were a nasty, freaky little thing. Oh this was better than any video he had watched recently! Interactive as he continued to stroke himself with you, the sheet had earned a wet pre-cum spot and had to be pulled away, Simon put his head down and spat on his cock, smearing his saliva around the girthy crown of it.

You were a dirty girl.

He loved it.

You were demure in the halls, paid close attention to detail, slick and sly when you need be, hence your call sign being Fox. You were quiet but funny, witty and no one had a bad word to drop about about you. Your lore on how you ended up with the 141 was something of legend, a myth that one day you just appeared like an apparition and no one questioned why. Just roll with it. You didn't cause trouble, kept your nose down but you knew things about each team member that soldiers could only dream of knowing. A book of secrets. Clearly.

Simon chuckled darkly to himself all the things you could come up with, possibly thing he hadn't even heard of. Simon wasn't into the BDSM scene, he knew a variety of knots of course but to use them on someone, never given the opportunity. As he spat on his cock again, the image of your face appeared. Maybe you liked to be spat on in too. The cute little whimpers and gasps you were doing on your end might suggest you like a lot more than just spit.

"Simon please! Bet you feel good, I know y-you're big, you'd stretch me out. Make me gape for you, oh fuck that's so hot!" You're erratic, your sheets are rubbing together faster and you're now on the verge of squealing like a stuck piglet. "Hold me down, pull my hair, those big fucking hands of yours on me, in me. Oh baby, finger me nice and deep, deeper than I can reach."

You wanted him so desperately and that made the lieutenant fuck his fist faster, slippery and noisy and wet. His hard cock just sloppily going up and down his shaft, he squeezed the mushroom cap like head of it, felt himself jerk and twitch before going hands free. Slapping it against his messy palm.

"Talk me through it baby, tell me what to do, how to do it. How fast, how slo-ow, oh yeah that's nice. Oh fuck I can feel it coming, I'm gonna' cum again. Shit." You grunted and made the most delicious sound Simon had ever heard in his whole damn life.

You were moaning, tapping the gem of the plug if he were correct.

Tap tap, tap tap.

"Oh yeah! Fuck my ass, finger my pussy, make me cum. Make me squirt, shoot your fat fucking load all over my face. I'll be your best girl, I swear it I swear it! I'm gonna' cum if I pull this out now." You cried, panting to your little hearts' desire. Simon was close too, he did his best to match your moans and sobs of pleasure, planting his feet and bucking his defined hips.

"I'd cum just about anywhere on ya', Foxy." Simon grunted quietly to himself. "Foxy fucktoy. Mmmm that does 'ave a bit of a ring to it, aye? Bad fuckin' girl."

You slapped something then. Your face, a tit perhaps, your pussy but you were whining and carrying on and Simon had to shut his eyes, imagining you working the princess plug in and out.

Oh for fucks' sake, he'd sell his left nut to see your pretty face, worn out, fucked out, in bliss and pleasure, sticking your pink tongue out. Eyes rolled back as you continued to fuck your fingers in tandem with his own fist.

"Gonna' cum oh shit, I'm gonna' cum again. For you. Only for you, sir!" He could hear your sloppy fingers plunging in and out of you pussy, faster and faster, louder and louder you became.

"Oh fuck yes, Simon! Yes, sir!"

You came with a shout, groaning and grunting behind your teeth. You sounded absolutely feral, pornographic. He couldn't hold it back any longer either, Simon bit into his cheek and came into his hand, it shot up and onto his stomach, muscles tight as he coaxed the last dribbling bits of cum onto his skin. He gave his palm a 'good game' type slap with his cock, laying back further into his pillows.

God damn.

"Fuck that was good. If only, if only you were here mmmm." You finally huffed out. You rolled over, to whatever side of your bed or maybe just readjusted yourself and your toys but he heard a clank of something and then your voice, clear as day. "What the fuck…oh my god. Oh no! Oh please don't be a voice note!"

Simon had to chuckle at your change in attitude.

"Oh for the love of… please be asleep. Pleasepleaseplease L.T. be asleep. I didn't mean to call --"

"On the contrary love," Simon held up his phone to his mouth, he heard you gasp on the other end. "I heard every last word and you sounded so damn fine. Bet you're glowing after coming so damn hard," you scrambled for words on your line, mumbling out a sorry excuse for an apology. He clicked his teeth at you like one would a horse. "Ah ah, Foxy. If there's a green Post-it on my door when I wake, your wish will be my command. And I am often fond of those aren't, Fox?"

"Very much so, sir."

"That's a girl. Now why don't you go get cleaned up and get some rest. Depending on your answer, soldier, you just might need it."

Simon chuckled to himself when he rose that morning, his entire door was covered with little green Post-its and none were the wiser when you passed each other in the mess hall.

[emilybeemartin]

A whopping, like, 2.6 people have expressed interest in my recent adventures in watching Bean films, which is all the encouragement I need to present to you:

An Incomplete Guide to Sean Bean Roles (Investigation Ongoing)

Our guy has a vast filmography, and I'm not even close to being halfway through it, but I've watched a lot of his significant ones in the past few weeks thanks to a perfect storm of illness, injury, and lapses in client work. Crucially, I have created superlatives for a variety of them and present them here for your benefit. Disclaimer: many of these films are violent! Or have butts and/or tits! Some have dick! Some have dated bits that didn't age well! So, if you have triggers or are watching with young viewers, do your research first! Also, these are just the opinions of one solitary millennial! Nothing is objective! Nothing is real! I care not!

Okay, CYA done, let's begin. I'll get the two most obvious ones out of the way up front, otherwise they'll dominate half the categories:

ACT I

Greatest Bean: Fellowship of the Ring. I've said it before and I'll say it again, he achieved more pathos with Boromir than a lot of his other roles have allowed for, and every note he hits just sings. No debate.

Best Bean for Your Buck: Sharpe. For the best confluence of quantity, quality, physicality, emotion, humor, and action, you can't beat Richard Sharpe.

Favorite Dramatic Bean: Time; he earned that BAFTA fr

Softest Bean: The first date scene in Stormy Monday, where Brendan shyly gets to know Kate, slow dances with her, lends her a shirt and strokes her back after she asks if they can just go to sleep instead of have sex.

Most Dashing Bean: Vronsky in Anna Karenina, that uniform cuts, damn

Swooniest Bean: I know I'm supposed to say Chatterley, and he is undeniably sexy as Mellors, but there are parts where his character is actually kind of off-putting. I'll lay a good chunk of the blame on the weirdly ominous score, the very of-the-time depiction of dubious consent, and Joely Richardson's tendency to look like she's having the worst time of her life while shagging the hot gamekeeper. No, I'm giving this category to Stormy Monday again. He's just so gentle and genuine in this one, without some of the obligatory "heartthrob" overtones of his nineties stuff. He never raises his voice at Kate or manhandles her. He really does feel like some kid who just wants to be sweet to his girlfriend.

Laddiest Bean: When Saturday Comes, specifically the strip club and bathtub scenes.

Favorite Sad Bean: As a collective, he has some great grief scenes in World on Fire, but! The railroad track scene in When Saturday Comes?! That was RAW.

Favorite Mad Bean: Black Death; there are plenty of movies where he doesn't smile at all, but unlike some others, his grimness and anger felt proportionate to the story, rather than just rage because he's good at rage.

Favorite Bad Bean: There are so many great Bean villains (Goldeneye, obvs), but I think my favorite is Patriot Games. Bonus points for all the different hairstyles he has in this film (long locks-shag-shag ponytail!-buzz-wet spiky buzz). Also HUGH FRASER AAAA

Favorite Dad Bean: Wolfwalkers, where Bill Goodfellowe literally turns his own convictions and beliefs upside-down in order to protect and support his daughter.

INTERMISSION

A note on GoT: I haven't watched it. When season one was first coming out, it was during a time where I really couldn't handle watching any kind of sexual assault onscreen, and while I have a higher tolerance now, I just... don't want to. I like seeing gifs of Ned Stark and appreciate that it's one of his great roles, but I just can't make myself take the plunge.

ilysm you grizzled dead wolf man

ACT II

Favorite Costumed Bean: Odysseus in Troy: curls, leather, thighs.

Favorite Un-Costumed Bean: He strips in quite a lot of his films, so let's give it to Lady Chatterley for sheer screentime, exertion, and the bonus of being naked and wearing a flower crown. Honorable mention to When Saturday Comes for the totally not homoerotic amount of butts and also dick in the locker room bathtub scene.

Hurtin'est Bean: Bravo Two Zero. Oof, don't watch this one if you have an aversion to seeing pain, although---you're a Sean Bean fan, and we all know one of his MOs is being GREAT at pain. This one was directed by Tom Clegg, who directed Sharpe. Also lol at the sickle-shaped wound on his shoulder, which is covering his 100% Blade tattoo (he gets a lot of sickle-shaped wounds on his left shoulder).

Best Inside References: The Frankenstein Chronicles, where he plays a former Peninsular soldier, and every reference to his service is a reference to Sharpe, including shots of his greenjacket, pistol, sword, and flogging scars. Honorable mention to The Martian for the Council of Elrond line.

Most Unsettling Bean: Cleanskin for moral grayness, The Frankenstein Chronicles for body horror

Most Inefficient Use of Bean: Black Beauty. Despite getting high billing he's only onscreen for about two minutes and I'm convinced the long shots are a body double. Criminal.

Biggest Missed Opportunity: We were robbed of a Sean Bean Odyssey. R o b b e d

Funniest Bean: Deploying Bean for comedy is woefully underused, but he made full use of his ~15 seconds in The Vicar of Dibley ("Spring" episode). He's also hilarious in Wasted, though I haven't watched the show, only the clips he's in on YouTube, where he plays a mock version of himself serving as a spirit guide for a stoner. IMO, though, Sharpe gives him the most room for humor.

Favorite Character Quirk: In World on Fire, when Douglas is having WWI flashbacks and really coming apart, he kept putting his hand to his mouth. My modern brain first read this as talking into a phantom radio, but of course that wasn't right, and then I realized--he was reaching for a phantom gas mask. CHILLS. AMAZING. (Honorable mentions to the Mouth Rub and the Tongue Thing [pictured above]).

Most Nostalgic Bean: National Treasure. The concept may be utter silliness, but you have to admit, this is a fun movie to watch.

Best Dismount from a Horse: Henry VIII, he goes pshwing out of the saddle

Best Swordplay: You may think there's no possible answer to this, but there is---two moments, specifically: the preparatory sword-spin he does at Balin's tomb just before the goblin attack in Moria, and the four lunges he does at 1:26:22 of Sharpe's Battle. It's just facts.

Prettiest Bean Film: Wolfwalkers, hands downnnn

Favorite Bean Death: All right, you knew we had to eventually end here. It's Boromir, obviously--- nothing tops that. But if we're looking at other roles, I think Patriot Games is my favorite, followed by Goldeneye.

So! That concludes this installment of Bean films, though I'll be continuing the labor, and I hope you will, too. What are your favorites?