#Well. When you wake up next to him in the middle of the night etc etc

[emilys-bangs]

The last thing you reblogged gave me an idea !

Touch starved Emily who is friends with you but would never dare ask you for unnecessary hugs etc., you two are close but she doesn’t want to cross that bridge since she definitely likes you a lot more than just a friend and also she’s scared of being so open and vulnerable that she admits she needs a hug and a cuddle.

You two are on a case once again, end up rooming together and there’s only one bed. You both don't really mind and go to sleep, each one on their respective side of the bed - except when you wake up in the middle of the night, Emily is cuddled around you, having subconsciously seeked your touch while she’s asleep.

You can decide how to go from there if this idea is any good to you, no worries if not and I hope you have a great week 😘😘

Tysm for requesting, I hope you have a great week as well! I sincerely thank that one post about touch starved Emily that made us all go insane <3

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Midas touch | emily prentiss x reader

Tags: touch starved Emily, room sharing, bed sharing, fluff, a ridiculous amount of yearning

Word count: 2.5k

You’d have to be blind not to notice Emily’s affinity for touch.

It’s something you’ve picked up on after a mere week in the BAU, and honestly, you’ve never seen anything like it. It’s like she craves touch, physically needs the added comfort of hands wrapping around elbows, arms slung across shoulders and casual side-hugs. In the more lax confines of Rossi’s living room or o’keefe’s, it’s not unusual to see her wrapped around somebody, or at least closely sharing what’s meant to be personal space. 

At work, however, it’s different; a bit more subtle, but still palpably flowing with love—the way she sneaks behind Garcia’s chair and wraps her arms around her neck in hello, Emily’s cheek pressing against the analyst’s. How she runs her fingers through Spencer’s messy curls, and how—despite his protests—he lets her, almost imperceptibly leaning into her hand before she pulls away. Her hip is frequently attached to JJ’s, their temples touching as she slides her palm into the back pocket of JJ’s jeans. Rossi is given paternal kisses on the cheek, Morgan dragged around with his hand in hers, their fingers interlocking in a weave of pale and dark. Even Hotch gets his fair share of physical affection from her, though more subtle but no less loving; a tugging at his belt loops, a nimble fixing of his tie, the brush of her fingers along his elbow.

Everyone gets a piece of Emily’s attention. 

Everyone except you.

It upsets you in ways you can’t fully explain—at least not without admitting to yourself that you’re falling deeply and helplessly in love with her. None of it remotely makes sense; despite her very deliberately withholding her touch from you, she’s been nothing but lovely, always having your back and gently correcting you when you slip up. 

But still, when an overbooked hotel forces Hotch to relay the unfortunate news of doubling up and she turns to you, surprise renders you silent. 

“Me and you?” Emily asks, paying no mind to JJ next to her.

You speak through your dry throat, “Um—yeah, sure.”

Hotch places the key in your hand, glad to have one pair down. You dig it into the flesh of your palm.

“I’ll take that one, thank you.” Rossi plucks a key from Hotch’s hand and turns away, leisurely walking to the elevator as protests rise behind him.

Hotch shakes his head, exasperated. You almost feel sorry for him. “Morgan?” He says, looking at him. Morgan nods, which leaves JJ with Reid.

Reid looks pleased; JJ less so, but she doesn’t protest as she takes the key from Hotch.

“Aww, good luck, pretty girl.” Emily coos, cupping JJ’s cheek and tapping it playfully. Jealousy stirs in your stomach, hot and acidic as JJ shrugs off her hand with an eye roll, a small smile lifting the corners of her mouth.

The key is in your hand so you turn on your heel, a bad taste in your mouth as Reid starts to protest, the sound getting lost somewhere between Emily’s soft laughs.

She knows them longer than she knows you, you think as you take the stairs two at a time, trying to outrun the beating of your heart. Your somewhat blurry eyes pick out the door with the matching number on your key. Your legs take you to it, almost on autopilot.

“Hey, wait up,” Emily’s voice carries, reaching you in a cloud of spun silk. There’s a rush of air behind you and you feel her creeping over your shoulder, the scent of her perfume choking you sweetly. “You don’t want me to sleep in the hall, do you?”

You can’t bring yourself to rise to the teasing in her voice. Fitting the key in the lock with unsteady fingers, you mumble, “Would’a let you in if you’d knocked.”

But trying to keep your distance doesn’t work, because the one bed in the room glares at you as soon as you push the door open.

Your throat goes dry. 

Emily hovers impatiently at your back and you swallow as you take a step into the threshold of the room, wondering how the hell she’d share a bed with you when she seems reluctant to touch you in the first place.

Panicked, you take your bag and head into the bathroom before Emily can say anything, desperately needing a moment to compose yourself. It’s safe to say you spend more time in there than you usually would, lengthening your short routine to busy yourself.

Only when you’ve semi-calmed down do you go out, finding her perched on the edge of the large—king sized, at least—bed.

“Hey. Are you okay with this?” Emily’s eyes are wide and dark, shining with concern. 

There’s no place for you to sleep anyway if you said no, but somehow you get the feeling she’d make it work if you were uncomfortable. A confused rush of emotion runs hot under your skin; lingering jealousy and ever present bitterness and confusing pleasure at her concern.

God, you need to go to bed.

“I’m fine with it,” you force a smile. It must not be very convincing, because Emily frowns, a delicate pull drawing her brows together. Just before she says something, you speak. “Are you okay with it?”

That snaps her out of it. “Yeah,” Emily murmurs, a dimple winking at you as she gives you a small smile, “as long as you don’t kick.”

You didn’t expect her to agree so easily. Some part of you wonders if she’s lying, but you can’t look at her eyes long enough to decipher that—you’re mildly afraid if you sunk into their depths you’d never be able to claw your way out.

“I haven’t had any complaints,” you try to shrug casually. “Do you prefer a side?”

“No, go ahead. It doesn’t matter what side I sleep on, I always somehow find my way in the middle.”

That makes you crack a smile.

The bathroom door clicks shut behind her and you press your knuckles into your eyes, wondering if you can possibly get through this night without losing your already delicate composure.

It’s just a bed, you tell yourself as you take out a pair of sweatpants to serve as pajamas. And it’s just for one night. It’s fine.

It’s fine. Sure it is.

You’re already in bed and beneath the sheets when Emily walks out of the bathroom. It’s a mistake to look at her, because you think you’ve just fallen deeper in love.

She’s shaking her hair out from the confines of its ponytail and it falls in soft waves around her shoulders, curling at the ends where the water sprayed it. A cotton tank top gently hugs her body, and pale blue shorts skim the tops of her thighs.

She’s not wearing a bra.

You’re staring.

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting to share tonight,” Emily smiles sheepishly as she lifts the covers and climbs into the bed. A lump is lodged in your throat at the sight of her bare legs slipping through the sheets, shimmering softly from her lotion. It smells sweet, she smells sweet—like warm cocoa butter—and it takes everything in you not to inhale deeply like a creep.

“Neither was I.” You croak. Emily settles her head on her pillow and you try not to stare at her lashes, so naturally long and thick even without her usual mascara.

She’s literally going to be the death of you.

“G’night,” you mumble and turn away before she can answer. The heat in your cheeks burns, and you dig them into the pillow in hopes of cooling them down.

“Night,” Emily whispers back. The sheets rustle as she presumably turns, too.

Needless to say, it takes a while for you to fall asleep. 

It must happen at some point, though, because something wakes you. You open your eyes to the darkness of the room, unsure what it is. You just know that you’re abnormally warm and trapped beneath something smelling like cocoa butter.

Emily.

Your sluggish brain slowly puts the pieces together. Her arm is around your neck, cutting across your chest; her thigh is hitched over your hip. Cold fingertips are hooked into the collar of your t-shirt and you shiver despite the warmth of your own body. Slow breaths puff across your neck, warm and even.

Briefly, you think you’re dreaming, but just as quickly that thought dissipates. She’s too real, too warm—and anyway your imagination could never come up with something as divine as this.

You’re not completely innocent either. Your arm is hooked around her waist, your skin directly touching the warm skin of her waist. Her tank top has risen up and your blurry eyes catch a tattoo on her hipbone; a faded butterfly.

You should let her go. 

It’s an internal battle, because she fits there, perfectly, and even though you know it’s wrong, you close your eyes and continue holding her. 

It’s wrong, it’s so wrong. She doesn’t want your touch. She’s made that perfectly clear, but her warm body, the soft tickle of her hair, they cloud your senses, fog your brain and hide all traces of reason or sensibility.

But still, half asleep or not, you can’t betray her trust like this.

You’re just about to force yourself to let go when Emily snuggles closer, a long sigh escaping through her nose. Her lashes tickle your skin, wispy and light across your neck as she nestles into your collarbone.

Fuck.

You hold still and wait for her to move again. She doesn’t, other than the steady rise and fall of her chest, so you close your eyes too. You would’ve thought it would be difficult to fall asleep with almost every inch of her body touching every inch of yours, but you’re encompassed in warmth and softness and the scent of cocoa butter. 

Really, it only takes a minute before you’re asleep again.

———

She’s still in your arms when you wake up. Your alarm didn’t ring yet—it must’ve been a combination of Emily’s warmth and your internal clock that woke you up.

Her head is now on your pillow, one of her knees slotted between yours and her arm around your waist. She’s like a clingy koala, even in her sleep, and it only makes your heart ache.

Through the blurriness in your vision you see the small freckles that dot her cheeks. They’re tiny, almost unnoticeable, scattered over the bridge of her nose and under her swooping lashes. Her fingers tighten in your shirt and again the guilt surfaces, but it’s so slow to rise in the pale morning light, when you’re sluggish with sleep.

Emily’s eyes flutter open. 

Shit, you freeze, your muscles stiffening. 

You’re caught.

Suddenly you’re staring into dark chips of obsidian, clouds of sleep swirling through them. At first Emily gives no reaction, but then her brain evidently catches up and her eyes widen, her fingers letting go of your shirt.

Just before you apologize, she does.

“I’m sorry,” she blurts. Her voice is raspy and you fight the shiver before it travels down your spine. “I get really—”

“Clingy,” you mumble. “Yeah, I know. It’s obvious.” Your voice is soft, mainly because you’re too tired to fight with your own demons so early in the morning.

“I’m really sorry,” Emily whispers again, mortified. Her cheeks flush a pretty pink as she retracts her arm and her leg, curling back into her side of the bed. The sheets she leaves behind are warm, and you fight the urge to place your hand where she once was.

“S’okay. You do it with everyone, I know that.” Then, because it’s the morning and your brain is half asleep and still fogged from holding her, you ask, “Why not with me, though?”

Her teeth chew down on her lip. “Why not you, what?” She mumbles.

“Emily,” you sigh, “it’s too early for you to mess with my head. You know what.”

Emily gives a sigh of her own. She doesn’t look at you as she fiddles with the hem of her tank top and drags it back down, hiding the exposed sliver of her torso. It doesn’t help that your eyes follow her movements, because her shorts have ridden up her thighs.

“It means…more when it’s you.” She eventually says, her voice quiet. Your breath hitches and she continues looking down, frowning at the hem of her tank top. “Everything does. Can’t touch you like that and pretend it means nothing.”

The slight slur to her voice makes her confession all the more intimate. As does her bed head, the red sleep lines on the underside of her arm. This is a soft Emily, a vulnerable one, and she’s laying herself bare for you in the morning light while sleep still lingers in both your eyes.

It only confirms your love for her.

Your relief is palpable; it quickly shifts to affection, something flowery crowding the back of your throat and making it hard to swallow. She doesn’t hate you, she doesn’t think you’re disgusting or repulsive. 

She couldn’t touch you because it would give her away. Because it’s the most genuine aspect of her, one she can’t dampen or hide any more than she can stop her heart from beating.

It seems almost too big a revelation for this small hotel room bathed in morning light. Still, your hand reaches for hers. You wrap your fingers around her own, both of them now resting gently on her stomach.

“It doesn’t have to mean nothing.” You whisper.

Emily’s eyes snap to yours. They’re like the black, bitter coffee you have no choice but knock back in precincts all over the country. They make your heart race, because they come closer—she comes closer—until both your heads are resting on the same pillow again. Emily cups your joint hands with her free one, reverently protecting the tenderness of your touch.

“You’re…” Her breath hitches and she falters, then sucks in a breath, “You’re telling me you want this?”

You squeeze her fingers. “More than anything.”

Emily blows out a low sigh. You bring your free hand up to trace the curve of her brow; she leans into it. “I do, too.” She confesses. “More than anything.”

Your thumb travels down to the corner of her mouth. “Then there’s nothing stopping us. Is there?” You ask gently.

“No.” Emily sighs. “Nothing.”

She tilts her head, lets you continue exploring her face with your fingertips. Her features are gently traced; the bridge of her nose and the outline of her lips and the shape of her brows. Slowly, her knee worms its way between both of yours.

You smile and Emily smiles back, a shy dimple in her cheek. 

“Be clingy. With me,” you murmur, keeping your voice low because you’re afraid love already spills from it, “I want you to be.”

Her nose nuzzles into your cheek. “You’ll soon regret saying that.” Emily mumbles, the vibration of her voice reverberating through your skin. It fills you with strange peace.

“Never.” You whisper.

Until the alarm rings, the two of you spend your time erasing away the boundaries, learning the lines of each other’s bodies with your fingertips with slow confidence.

Because now, you have all the time in the world.

taglist: @suckerforcate @sickoherd @lextism

[gaminegay]

I know im behind the curve but Good Luck, Babe! is so necessary for every wlw that's been traded out for a man before

[jacktagger]

i hope they listen to good luck babe and think about me

[coolyiooo]

BSD Men : They Wake Up To You F*cking Them

Pairings: Dazai, Ranpo, Fyodor, Atsushi, Chuuya, and Sigma

❗WARNINGS❗: SMUT, MDNI, pulling, scratching, somnophilia, blowjob, handjob, breeding kink, whimpering, groaning, praise, and etc

You wanted to wake them up by a special surprise~ you both have talked about it before and they consented to it, but you didn't have a chance to try it until now

🖤DAZAI🖤

You woke up in the middle of the night, it was just one of those moments of being randomly woken up by nothing in particular. You were half asleep and looked at the time. It was a couple minutes before your alarm went off, and you looked at your beautiful boyfriend, Dazai, who was sleeping peacefully under the sheets. You suddenly thought of a mischievous idea of waking him up.

You gently got closer to him and smoothly slid your hand under his pants and boxers, trying not to wake him up. You gently began to stroke his cock to make him hard. He seemed to have felt the sensation as his eyebrows were twitching slightly and his breath was slightly getting heavier. After awhile, he was fully erect and was ready for you.

You pulled the blankets and his pants down slowly to not wake him up just yet. You also carefully took off your own pants and straddled his lap, not completely putting your weight on him. You grabbed his needy dick and slowly put him inside you, your cunt already wet just by stroking his cock earlier.

As you slid his cock inside, he moaned softly, probably his mind thinking he's in a wet dream. You slowly rose up and down on his cock. His dick twitching already from the pleasure he was feeling. You moaned softly and went a little faster. Your hands on his chest to steady yourself better. He was starting to breath heavily and groan softly.

He slowly started to wake up from your moans and your body weight being pressed against his chest and thighs. He widen his eyes slowly as he realized what was happening. He saw how your wet cunt soaked his cock and how you jumped on his dick as a slightly rough pace. He was surprised but his lips slowly turn into a smirk as he groaned.

He smirks slightly and moans "Oh my- mmn~ god~ you naughty girl~"

You gasp slightly "Wanted to- ah~ give you a surprise~" you moaned

He smirked wider "Oh? How thoughtful- ah~!"

His hands went on your hips as his nails dug into them gently. He closed his eyes as he moaned in his tired voice. His hips thrusting upwards in a lazy manner to feel more of your tight cunt. Your moans were only adding to his arousal and make him throb more.

"Yeah, bella~ ah~ just like that~" he moaned then chuckled softly "You wanted my cock so early in the morning? Ah~ not complaining~"

Your jumped faster on his cock which only made you both moan louder. He used his hands that were on your hips to help you jump faster on his cock. You both were at your limit already

"Ah~ faster, bella~ f-fuck~!" He moaned and groaned

A couple more moments of riding his cock and you both came together. His cum being shot deep inside you and filling you up perfectly as your pussy throbbed aggressively around his cock.

You were both breathing heavily and trying to calm your heart rates down. Your body plopped on his chest from exhaustion

He chuckled softly "Now that's a way to wake up, huh, bella?" He kisses your cheek with a tired smile"I'm glad you liked it" you smiled while panting

"Of course I did. Oh, my belladonna wants me even when I'm asleep! How can I resist?" He hugs you tightly and nuzzles his cheek on yours

"Just thought I should try it out" you chuckle softly

"Well, then maybe one day I'll try it out on you...you wouldn't mind that, right?" He smirks and wraps his arms around you

You roll your eyes playfully and smiled wider "no, I wouldn't"

He winks and chuckles softly "Then I'll just give you a heads-up for the future, bella~"

💚RANPO💚

You suddenly woke up before Ranpo, who was next to you. You just happened to have woken up a couple minutes before your alarm went off. You were half asleep and yawning. You looked at how peaceful Ranpo looked, and how he was so cute. You started to feel a bit devious the longer you looked at him...he did say it was ok to do this if the opportunity came up and you wanted to see his reaction.

You very slowly pulled the blanket off of his body and slowly slid his pants and boxers down. You snuck glances at him every once in awhile to make sure he was still asleep. You slowly licked his cock for awhile before inviting his dick into your warm, wet mouth. You could hear him whimper and squirm a bit from the pleasure as he started to get hard and ready for you.

You took him out of your mouth and gently straddled his lap. You then steadily lowered yourself onto his cock. His dick feeling your tight cunt. He whimpered softly. He seemed to almost be awake. You jumped on his cock calmly to not wake him up yet. Your moans were soft but still loud enough for him to hear. His body trembled from the pleasure flowing throughout his body.

He suddenly opened his half lidded eyes that soon shot open from the realization of what was going on. "Wha-? ah~!" He gasp quietly before shutting his eyes tight and whimpering loudly.

Is half awake brain still wasn't filling processing the situation, but it did feel all the ecstacy and pleasure he was feeling. His cock throbbing viciously inside you from the overwhelming sensation. He thrusted upwards in a desperate yet lazy way. He just wanted you to go a little faster. His hands were on you waist to bring your body closer to his.

"S-so good~ mmn~! You couldn't wait til I woke up, huh~?" He smirked slightly while moaning

You nodded "Your so cute. How can I resist~?" You praised him to turn him on more

He whimpered loudly as his breathing was shakey. His cock throbbing happily inside your wet pussy from the praise. His fingers trembling on your waist "S-sugar~ please~ f-faster~" he begged softly

You didn't waste a second to jump on his cock quickly. The tip of his dick hitting your g spot everytime and only getting bigger in size as it was ready to shoot cum. You bother whimpered loudly from the amount of euphoria that over washed your entire bodies. You were both on the edge of finishing

"Gonna c-cum~ oh, sugar~!" He whimpered loudly

You both then came together while moaning and twitching. His cum was filling you up. You were both panting and trembling from being overwhelmed by the climax. He sighed deeply as you plopped your body next to his.

He giggled softly "You're a little pervert, sugar~" he said in his morning voice You smiled softly "You said you were ok with it and I didn't see you complaining"

He smiled "Your clever too, but not as much as me" he was still cocky even while half asleep

You were about to say something, but he then shuts you up and interrupts you "That really drained my energy" he yawned and stretch "wake me up in 30 minutes...in any way you want~" he smile softly before going back to sleep

💜FYODOR💜

You woke up suddenly after your deep sleep. You checked the time tiredly and saw that it wasn't that early. You look at Fyodor and see how beautiful he looked when he was asleep. He seemed so calm and pretty. So you decided to ruin that because you had a promiscuous idea. He's just too pretty to resist. Plus, he said he didn't mind if you did something scandalous while he was asleep, as long as it's only one time.

You first spat in you hand, to make your own lube, and stealthily slid your hand under his boxers. You very slowly stroked his cock and with your spit, it made it wet and easy to stroke his dick. His breathing was slightly getting heavy while his body was twitching just a bit from the sudden sensation.

He surprisingly quickly got hard. His eyebrows twitching a tad from the pleasure. You carefully straddled his lap, trying your best not to put your whole weight on him and accidentally wake him up.

Your cunt was already ready for his cock. You slowly sank yourself on his dick. He filled your walls with his needy cock, inch by inch. He sighed deeply, already slowly waking up but not quite yet. You jumped on his dick at a very slow pace, but it was enough to make him groan and slowly wake up. His body twitched ever slightly while you moaned quietly.

The pleasure was too overwhelming and your moans made him start to wake up. His half lidded eyes saw that you two are now one. Realization hit him when he felt you jump on him a bit more quickly and the pleasure flowed throughout his entire body. His eyes widen slightly but he then smirked softly

"Oh? You- ngh~! lewd woman~" his accent was thicker from his morning voice.

His hands were placed on top of your thighs as you jumped more quickly on his throbbing dick. He looked at where you two were connected and how your cunt was soaking his cock beautifully.

His smirk didn't go away "The sun isn't even up and you still crave for me~? mmn~" he looked up at you amused

"Ah~ Maybe I'm a bit addicted to you~" you moaned softly

"Thats fine~ ngh~! you feel too good to resist anyway~" he said as he laid his head back and closed his eyes to really feel the sensation of your wet, tight cunt. His hands gripping more tightly onto your thighs as he groaned lowly.

He slowly opened his eyes. His hair was covering most of his face but you could still see his eyes. His smirk still there "Care to show me how desperate you are for me, lyubov~?"

Your instantly changed your pace to rough and messy. You both moaned from the delightful sensation. It was like you both entered a heaven of just pure pleasure. His cock was throbbing aggressively. He instinctively thrusted upwards to feel more of you. You clenched onto his hair which only made him groan louder. He was already at him limit and so were you. It just felt too damn good.

"That's it~ ah~ yes, lyubov~ I can't anymore~!" He groaned before pulling your hips down to push his cock as deep as it can go inside you and shoot his hot cum into.

You both moaned as you came together. Euphoria was all you two felt from your climaxes. Both of you twitching and throbbing against eachother. His eyes were closed but he has the faintest smile on his lips. You were now breathing heavily and held each other tightly while calming down from your orgasms

He chuckled softly "Someone certainly doesn't have patience" his voice was deeper than usual

You grinned "You've been working too much and I have needs. You certainly weren't complaining anyway"

He scoffed softly. His smile never leaving "That's fair. Although, you did mess up my sleep."

"You did say it was ok if I did this" you looked up at him

He sighed in defeat and smiled more "Oh, it seems your right... unfortunately, I can never say no to you, myshka, and I certainly did enjoy myself"

💙ATSUSHI💙

You woke up suddenly in the middle of the night. You checked the time and saw it was way too early to be awake. You looked beside you and saw atsushi sleeping calmly on his futon. You smiled softly as you stared at his sleeping face. You then randomly recalled a conversation you both had awhile ago, and your half awake mind, decided to finally oblige to something you've wanted to do.

You gently lowered his pants and underwear down and straddled his lap, carefully doing so to not wake him up. You then rubbed his cock with your clit and folds. You felt pleasure as you used him to get you wet. He was starting to feel the sensation as well, but it wasn't enough to wake him up. His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he felt the pleasure.

After awhile, your cunt was now so wet that it has soaked his now hard cock. Now you were both ready for each other. Without a second thought, you put his cock inside you and felt him stretch you out. His cock throbbed slightly and his mouth slightly opened. You started to jump on his dick slowly. His cock fitting you perfectly and hitting all the right spots. It felt so good, too good. The overwhelming feeling was slowly waking him up.

He groaned as he opened his eyes slightly. He first saw you, but then quickly laid his eyes upon your cunt stroking his dick. His eyes widen slightly "Y-y/n-? Ah~!" He moaned.

He gasps as he shut his eyes tightly. Pure bliss was all he felt and he wasn't even mad. It actually kind of made him feel good. It was good to know that you wanted him even in the middle of the night. His hips started to move upwards to push himself deeper inside you. You gasped as you felt his cock get deeper and you both moaned louder.

"Ah~ So good~" he whimpered while his eyes were still closed

"Mmn~ You like this~?" You looked down at him

He wrapped his arms around your waist to bring you closer "Y-yeah~ mmn~ c-can't- ngh~ think~"

He then suddenly gently pull your face closer to his. He put his hand on your cheek before kissing your gently. The kiss was passionate and slow while your thrusts were quick and rough. You both moaned and whimpered into the kiss from the fast pace. He clenched your hair softly as he kept kissing you. For him, the kissing made this situation more exciting. He couldn't handle the pleasure of your cunt and your lips anymore.

His breath was shaky "C-can't hold on anymore~"

He then thrusted his cock deeply inside you to cum inside you. His cum coating your walls. The sensation was too good to bare as you came with him. You moaned loudly but he then kissed your lips again, muffling both of your moans. The kiss was making you both relax and calm down from your highs and your breathing slowly becoming normal again.

He took a deep breath before pulling away from your lips "Wow...I'm a bit lightheaded, but..that was good"

You smiled softly "You seemed to enjoy that a lot, huh?"

He nodded and looked into your eyes full of admiration "Yeah, of course I did....but now I'm quite tired" he laid his head back down on the pillow and closed his eyes. Before you you could say anything, you noticed that he had already fallen back asleep. How adorable

🧡CHUUYA🧡

It was a long day for you and Chuuya at the mafia and Chuuya decided to sleep the second he got back home. You let him sleep for a couple of hours but you started to get bored and also needy. You went to go check up on Chuuya to see if he was still asleep, and yes he was. You sighed in distraught, but then a sudden perverted idea popped up in your head.

You walked over to him and sneakily took the blanket off of him and slid his boxers down. You used your soft hand to stroke his dick to get him hard. Your pace was slow and steady, but he was clearly feeling it. He made small snoring sounds as his cock slowly got harder and bigger while it throbbed here and there. His body was getting hot as he felt the pleasure built up. His body didn't even squirm or move. Finally, his cock was fully erect.

You straddled his lap gently and looked at his pretty face. He was drooling a bit on the side of his mouth, as he usually does, and his face seemed so relaxed and peaceful. You then focused back to what you were doing and held his cock in place before you gently lowered yourself on his cock. He filled every inch of you up as you two became one. You sighed in satisfaction as his body twitched and moaned quietly.

You slowly began to stroke his needy cock with your wet, tight cunt. You were trying your best to hold back from jumping on his dick at a fast pace, but luckily Chuuya seemed to be slowly waking up. Even in his deep sleep, he could feel all the pleasure. His breathing was getting heavier as small moans came out of his mouth. This pleasure was too much for him as his eyes slowly opened. He blinked a few times before he put two and two together. His eyes were wide as he saw his cock go in and out of you

"What the-? Oh, you naughty little- ngh~!" He groaned deeply

He put his hands on your hips, digging his nails into them from the intense sensation. You changed your pace to a more quick one after nothing he was awake. His eyes were drawn to how your cunt stroked his cock. He smirked slightly as he moaned.

"Heh, I can't even get mad~ ngh~ feels too good~" he moaned as he caressed your cheek

He suddenly put his thumb in your mouth. You moaned from the delightful pleasure and rode him in a desperate pace which only made him groan louder.

"That's it, dollface~ ngh~ your really soaking my cock, huh?" He said while pulling your hair not too harshly

You couldn't even respond back to him since his cock was just too good. All you could do was moan and whimper when his cock hit every good spot. Your cunt was quivering a throbbing against his cock and it only made it feel better for him. He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't last any longer from feeling your tight pussy.

He forced your hips to move faster with his hands "Fuck yeah, doll~ ah~ just a little more~ god, your so tight~" he groaned

He couldn't help but thrust upwards to meet his release faster. He then shot his all of cum inside you while groaning . He couldn't stop himself from fill you up completely especially when you were so desperate for it to begin with. The feeling of being filled up with his cum only made you cum aggressively on his cock and moan loudly.

You both were catching your breaths and calming down from your releases. He smiled softly and looked up at you "I knew you had a wild side but I wasn't expecting this...can't say I'm exactly mad" his voice was slightly raspy

You looked down at him and smiled "You did give me the green light to do it, love"

He blushed a bit "Yeah, well.." he looked away before slowly closing his eyes and sighing deeply "I feel drained now"

"Your going to sleep already?" You widen your eyes slightly, but it was too late, he had already fallen asleep. Perhaps the climax was too intense for him, but you giggled softly and let him sleep.

💛SIGMA💛

You walked into the living room and saw him taking a nap. He's been sleeping for almost two hours already, which is quite reasonable considering he's been working hard and been stressed, but still, two hours is a bit much, right? You decided to wake him up but in a slightly lewd way. You knows he's been pent up so you might as well kill two birds with one stone.

You looked at his peaceful state. He looked like sleeping beauty. So beautiful and calm. You swiftly unbutton his pants and lowered his boxers. You made sure to be as slow as possible to not wake him up. You then held his dick and wrapped your tongue around it, ever so slightly sucking him off. Your warm and wet mouth was too good that his eyebrows started to furrow slightly as he squirmed a bit. His breathing was shaky, unfortunately though, he's a very light sleeper. So his eyes slowly opened. He was confused by the sudden and random pleasure he was feeling, but once his eyes adjusted to what he was seeing, they shot open.

"What are you-? ah~ oh, god~"he moaned while clenching onto the couch cushions

You smiled softly while still sucking him off. His cock hard and ready to be inside you. "You've been sleeping for too long, love" you said as you straddled his lap.

His breath hitched as he realized what you were going to do next. He looked up at you with flushed cheek. He had no intention of stopping you but he was surprised to have been woken up to this. He gulped as he waited for you to insert him into you.

You then lowered yourself onto his cock. Your cunt was so welcoming for him. It was wet, warm, and tight just for him. He gasped a moan since his half asleep mind couldn't focus on anything else besides the pleasure. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to adjust to the feeling, but you then began to jump on his cock in a rather quick motion. You both moaned as your bodies were consumed by pure bliss.

He was already at his limit "Y/n~ mnn~ w-wait- ah~! too much~" he groaned before his cock was shooting cum

He arched his back as he came inside you while moaning. He looked so gorgeous, it turned you on and drove you to your edge as well. You came right after him and plopped your body on top of his. Both of you were twitching and panting, trying to calm down from your highs. His eyes were still closed, but he slowly opened them again.

He wrapped his arms around your waist "that was unexpected...I remember you told me if you could do this, but it was still a surprise" His voice was tired and soft

You looked up at him "did you like it?"

He sighed but then nodded "yeah...I actually needed it if I'm being honest" his cheeks blushed softly

You smiled "I'm glad I could help"

He blushed more and looked away for a second "I wouldn't mind if we...did it again though"

Also, Please report m2kitwz for copying my work.

[blkgirl-writing]

Random NSFW Gale of Waterdeep headcanons

TW: mentions of male masterbation, pining, sex, oral, romance, some angst, reader called a woman and implied cis. I recommend listening to touch tank while reading. Please send in requests!

Gale has been alone, touch starved for many, many years

So for a fact, this man whimpers when you first touch him in a different way. A lingering grab of his arm, a few brushes against his hands, brushing shoulders when sitting next to your camp fire, etc

And he plays it off very well. You’d believe him if it weren’t for the growing tent in that robe

Gale is very much in denial about it all. His own feelings, your feelings

You’d have to clearly paint the picture of you wanting him for Gale to actually act on it

Oh and if you decide to tease him? He’s gonna be thinking about you all night. There’s a lot of emotions there. You’d be his first moral lover in a long, long time

And then he beats himself up over thinking of you as a lover, as if you’d want him like he wants you

Gale grinds onto his bedroll in his sleep. Something you noticed after waking up in the middle of the night

But how you and Gale get to fucking is not for this random cannons. That’s for another time. How he fucks, however, is for right now

Gale may be behind on his kissing skills but he is certainly still is fantastic at giving head

And he’s so enthusiastic about it too. This man wants to live between your thighs, especially if they’re big, he’s use them exclusively as pillows, no exceptions

His tongue isn’t the only magical thing either

He’s a wizard, he casts spells, he uses his hands, he can learn you inside and out very fast, it only took a few seconds for him to get the perfect rhythm of his fingers pulling inside to get you screaming his name

And he’ll be between your legs until you’re a shaking mess, pressing your legs further apart with his big hands, fingernails digging into your skin. and only then come up for air

Although you don’t get much of a break as he whispers the filthiest sentences right in your ear, using giving you hickeys as pauses from his vulgar tales of what he will do to you

Based on all that you’d probably think he loves getting oral

Because it’s true, Gale loves when you suck his dick. But he likes it softer, not sloppy and fast, but very sensual

His favorite position is anything where he can see your face, he wants to look into your eyes when you cum

Him telling you to hold your orgasm so he can stick his tongue back in you to taste you

If it were up to Gale, y’all would fuck after every and any fight, he can’t tear his eyes off you the whole time

[nerdallwritey]

Just to Ruin Me

Summary: “You don’t have to tell me any of this right now,” you said. “A lot has changed in the past few hours and there’s no rush in sharing these things with me. I know how hard it was to talk about your past the first time.” “It was necessary, though,” Astarion looked over at you, his expression determined. “You needed to know what we might be up against. And you might need to know this too.” “If you want to tell me, then I’m happy to listen, but please don’t force yourself for my sake.” Astarion released a puff of air from his nose. “You keep doing that.” “Doing what?” “Asking me what I want. Letting me choose.” OR The morning after you spend the night with Astarion, you learn another thing or two.

Pairing: Astarion x f!reader Rating: 18+ Word count: 12.5k CW: smut, reader is new to sex, piv sex, vaginal fingering, dry humping, mentions of Astarion's past trauma, blood drinking, mild angst, soft Astarion, porn with feelings, reader is an idiot (and a bard), so is Astarion (not a bard, just an idiot), the other companions are also idiots, but don't piss of Shadowheart Spoilers: Minor spoilers for Act 1 (in-game dialogue, plot points, etc.), as well as Astarion's plotline Also posted to: AO3 FAIR WARNING: This is PART 2 in my series, "Beauty and the Bard." Find Part 1 here. Find the masterlist here.

a/n: Thanks to everyone who read Part 1!!! Your kind comments and encouragement spurred me to write Part 2 and I hope it's a sequel that lives up to expectations!! I know the summary is a little angsty, but I promise there's more banter to be had. Everyone is still a goof, after all. Please enjoy :) (Thank you to @kermitwazowski for beta reading!) As a reminder, the last part ended with the following few lines: “For now, you were content to sleep under the stars in Astarion’s arms. It was the best sleep you’d ever had.”

Taglist: @a66-1 @khaleesiofthewolves @khywren @lollipopsandlandmines @minestrones

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t the best sleep you’d ever had.

Though you’d grown accustomed to roughing it in the last few weeks since the nautiloid crash, waking up in the forest was still a shock. It had its charms, sure, like the fresh air and the breeze blowing in off the mountains, but the appeal was starting to wane. Especially after one too many nights of having to take a dip in the frigid lake next to camp to rid yourself of gnoll blood. 

This morning however, you found yourself surrounded by blankets and pillows from your camp in the middle of a clearing surrounded by large pine trees, all of which had been thoughtfully arranged by the figure trancing beside you. Your own sleeping figure sighed comfortably, unbothered by the lack of a mattress or a hot bath, just a nice deep sleep-

Astarion whacked you in the face.

Your eyes shot open.

“OW?” You scrunched your nose and blinked a few times to get your bearings. 

It was still dark. The forest around you was painted a delicate shade of periwinkle. You’d hazard a guess that it was just a little before dawn. 

At some point in the night, you’d rolled onto your back, away from Astarion, who was now curled to your right, his back facing you. He must have just rolled over, explaining the harsh wake up from his forearm. You smiled softly and instinctively brought your hand to rub your forehead where he’d made the unfortunate contact. 

Blinking a little more, your eyes were beginning to adjust. From this angle, you had a clear line of sight to the large scar that overran a majority of his back. You squinted in the dark to try and get a clearer view of the terrible thing, but came up short due to the shadows of tree branches being cast from above. Still just a mandala of jagged lines and brutal curves. When you got your hands on Cazador, you’d…

No.

No, that wasn’t your fight. 

But you’d be gods damned if you wouldn’t be there for every bloody moment Astarion faced him, giving support however you could. Though you had to admit that it would be so gratifying to corner the bastard and cast a quick little Otto’s Irresistible Dance… Assuming you’d be strong enough to cast it by then… Gods, he’d look so fucking stupid just before Astarion plunged a knife through his heart-

Enough. Battle strategies and sick, twisted (but satisfying) revenge fantasies later. Right now you noticed that the shifting of the shadows on his back wasn’t from a breeze shaking the branches above you, but because Astarion himself was trembling. 

Your first instinct was to reach out and touch him, but you quickly retracted your hand. Based on the short whimpers he was letting out, it seemed like he was having a nightmare.

How was one supposed to wake someone from a nightmare again? With Astarion you’d have to be extra careful; you wouldn’t be surprised if he’d stowed a knife somewhere within these blankets that he might reach for in a surge of waking fear. 

That… would not be pleasant. 

You shifted to sit up and look around.

Ow.

A dull throbbing made itself known between your legs.

No, that was great. Spectacular, in fact. You’d have to stop and assess later.

Gingerly, you got onto your knees and peered around at your surroundings. Astarion had done a decent job of cleaning up the clearing to make room for this blanket nest, so there wasn’t a poking stick to be seen within reaching distance.

Not that you were going to poke him with a stick… but the thought had crossed your mind. You were still tired! You’d been fucked for the first time last night! There was a lot going on! 

You shook your head to clear the stupid overlapping thoughts and set to looking around for a wayward pillow. You spotted one in the far corner and made your way over to it carefully but with some haste to end Astarion’s unconscious suffering. 

You crawled back over to him. And then backed up a little. Just in case.

“Astarion,” you sang quietly. 

Astarion continued trembling, but you heard him inhale sharply. A good sign?

You raised your voice a little, but kept the same musical cadence. “Astaaaarioooon.”

Nothing.

Okay fine. 

“Sorry,” you said quietly, then threw the pillow at Astarion, hitting him squarely on the back of the head. You leaned forward to grab your own pillow as a protective shield as he gasped and shot up.

“What the hells? What’s happening?” Astarion rolled onto his back and frantically looked around until his eyes landed on you. 

You smiled sheepishly and waved at him lamely from behind your pillow. “Hi.”

Astarion narrowed his eyes, confused. He shook his head, then lifted a hand to the back of his head where the pillow had hit him. “What did you do?”

“You were having a nightmare.”

“Oh, I know what I was doing,” his tone was sarcastic. “What were you doing?”

You looked down at your lap, guilty. “I couldn’t remember how to wake someone up from a nightmare.”

“So you assaulted me?”

“I didn’t know if you had a knife!”

“Why would I have a knife? What is happening?!” He sat up fully and brought a hand to his forehead as if he were in pain. 

“Are you okay?”

“Thankfully, I’ll live,” he opened his eyes and looked at you, his hand still on his forehead. 

You huffed. “I meant with the nightmare.”

Astarion sighed and closed his eyes again. “It’s far too early to discuss this.” He tilted his head up towards the sky, which was getting brighter with every passing moment. A practiced smirk appeared on his face and he looked at you once more. “I’d much rather know if you’re okay, darling.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. 

“We had a lot of fun last night, didn’t we?”

“Seeing as how I’m always a lot of fun, I don’t understand why you’re posing this question.” You looked down your nose at him. 

He hung his head and sighed exasperatedly. “Will you simply allow me to work my charms on you?”

You tutted. “Is that what you were trying to do just now?”

“Attempting to, yes.” Astarion crossed his arms. “I’m usually irresistible.”

You snorted. “Okay,” you said, a small smile appearing on your face. “I’m going to ignore your lack of an answer about your nightmare and will elect to wait until you’re ready to tell me about it yourself.”

Astarion pursed his lips.

“But go ahead,” you rearranged your legs, wincing mildly as you moved to sit cross legged, “charm me.”

A look of worry flashed over Astarion’s face when he saw you wince, but the concern was quickly overtaken by an all too self-satisfied grin. “Feeling it this morning, are we?”

You rolled your eyes. “I knew you’d be happy about this.”

“Positively delighted, my sweet.” He leaned forward and kissed you gently, bringing a hand up to your cheek. You brought your own hand up to lay against his. He pulled away and appraised your face smugly. “I was completely enamored by your performance last night.” You were about to open your mouth to say something, but Astarion interrupted. “Don’t even think about mentioning that you’re a bard and that of course you’re good at performing, or something like that.”

You closed your mouth. You were going to say something like that. Instead you said, “You were pretty good yourself.”

He brought his hands up to make air quotes. “I’ve ‘ruined you,’ from what I recall.”

You groaned. “I just said that to make you cum.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself, my dear.” His face was still smug, but he motioned for you to come closer. You scooted forward and he lifted you slightly to sit on his lap. 

He leaned up and kissed you deeply, his tongue swiping your bottom lip for entrance. You moaned in response and opened your mouth for him. Though the rest of his body was cold, his mouth was warm and inviting, and you leaned in further to try and get closer. You wrapped your arms around his neck and tilted your head slightly to get a better angle. You’d been mildly distracted last night; had he always smelled this good?

When Astarion pulled back suddenly, you couldn’t help the whine that escaped at the loss. He hummed in satisfaction, and his voice was low and seductive when he spoke.

“Every part of your perfect body whispers temptations-”

You giggled. “What?”

“Shush dear, I’m charming you.” He cleared his throat, “-it’s as if the gods made you just to ruin me.”

“So now I’ve ruined you?” You raised your eyebrows teasingly.

“Wait, no-”

You leaned your forehead onto his and laughed. “And that one usually works?”

He blew out a puff of air. “You’re an unusual one, I’ll give you that.” 

You shrugged, pleased with yourself.

“But yes,” Astarion continued, “I’ve made plenty of previous lovers swoon with that particular line.”

“Show me what else you’ve got, then,” you challenged.

Astarion tilted his head in thought. “Let’s see… I can’t use the ‘cried from your lips’ line because I used that one last night…” You scoffed joyfully, mockingly scandalized that he’d already used a line on you. He met your eye and smirked. “How about this one: When I’m with you, I feel practically alive, yet I crave only to die again, with you.”

The sultry tone of his voice did send a pang of want through your body, reminding you that you were only wearing Astarion’s shirt and nothing else. You shifted uncomfortably. 

“How romantic,” you said, trying to keep your voice nonchalant. “I didn’t think you liked dying the first time.”

Astarion narrowed his eyes, sensing your deflection and smirked, looking down at where you sat on his lap. He rolled his hips, which made you inhale sharply. “I see that one did do something for you,” he leaned forward and kissed your neck. 

You exhaled slowly, “I blame that stupid sexy voice of yours.”

Astarion growled against your throat and you shivered, bringing your hands up to his back. 

“Astarion,” you sighed and he hummed in response, licking over the twin wounds he’d left the night before. You sat up a little straighter. “Wait.”

He immediately pulled back and looked at you with concern. “What is it?”

“I just thought of something,” you said.

Astarion raised his eyebrows and nodded, wanting you to continue.

“Can I borrow your fangs?”

“My-?” His tongue instinctively flicked over his teeth.

“Because I want to leave a lasting impression on you,” you tilted your head at him to show off the marks he’d left on your throat. You shimmied your shoulders a little for good measure. 

“I’m leaving,” Astarion made to get up with you still on his lap and you laughed loudly.

“No! No! I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I wanted to try a dumb line on you, too!” You threw your arms around his neck and hid your face in his shoulder. You felt him kiss your hair.

“You’re lucky I don’t travel with you for your personality,” he joked. 

“I’d say ‘I’m a lot of fun’ again but I think you’d actually stop talking to me.” You pulled back to look at him.

“And you’d be right.” He kissed you chastely and then adjusted you on his lap. You winced a little again and he looked genuinely sympathetic. “I might have a way to ease the pain from last night,” he said. “Do you trust me?”

You smiled at him. “Yes.”

He smiled back. “Good.” He positioned your arms over his shoulders. “Hang on, my love.” You crossed your arms where they hung behind him and waited to see what he would do. 

Without warning, you felt one of his cold fingers slide through your folds. You hissed at the sensation and looked at Astarion. 

“Supposedly, massaging the area can help,” he was trying to sound knowledgeable, but the look in his eyes was one full of lust. Then he tutted, looking down. “You could be wetter, darling.” His thumb began to circle your clit.

Your eyes rolled back at the sensation, and you leaned forward again to rest your forehead on his shoulder. 

“Do you want my cock again, love? You took me so well last night, I was so proud of you,” he’d moved his mouth next to your ear and was speaking with the same sultry tone that he had a minute ago. You whimpered at his praise and rolled your hips to get his thumb to press you harder. Astarion let out a low groan. “That’s it, you’re getting so wet for me, you’re so good.”

After a few more tight circles, you practically sobbed when you felt him take his thumb away from your clit.

“Shh, shh, I know,” he cooed, “but we want you to feel better, remember?”

You let out a frustrated sound. “I already was feeling better.”

Astarion chuckled. “Trust me, would you? Impatient.” His tone was nothing but fond.

His other fingers began massaging the area around your entrance. You winced and bit your lip. 

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Fine,” you confirmed. “I assume this will get better?”

“That’s the idea,” he kissed your ear and you nodded against his shoulder. 

You rolled your hips, attempting to get friction where you needed it. 

“Just a little longer,” Astarion said, moving his fingers gently around your cunt.

You hummed an acknowledgement and kept rolling your hips, trying to combat this weird form of edging that was happening. 

Finally, Astarion ceased his massaging and brought his thumb back to your clit. You let out a long shuddering breath and squeezed your eyes tight, adjusting your hips to roll against his thigh. 

“There you go, my love,” Astarion said, voice still in your ear. “I’ll make you cum for behaving so well.”

You whined loudly as his thumb picked up the pace. You began rolling your hips at an equally fast pace. “More,” you whined, willing your climax to approach faster.

“Not right now, darling. Let’s give you a break there, shall we?” Astarion used his free hand to pet your hair. 

“But you asked if I wanted your cock again,” you whined.

“And while I’m pleased to hear that you’d like it again, let’s relax and get you off like this for now, okay?” 

You groaned but nodded, squeezing your eyes shut again and focusing on the pleasure Astarion was currently providing. “Harder,” you instructed.

Astarion pressed down harder on your clit with his thumb. He swept his index and middle finger through your folds, coating them in your slick. He quickly swapped those fingers with his thumb, changing the sensation by swapping one finger for two and adding more of your arousal to the mix. 

You keened and gripped his bicep. “Harder!” You instructed again, desperate and approaching the edge. You could feel the coil in your stomach preparing to let go.

Astarion pushed again and brought his lips to your ear once more. 

“I just thought of something, precious thing,” he murmured.

You blinked at him, your eyes unfocused and half lidded.

“More of a question, really,” he clarified.

You squeezed your eyes tight, nodding. You were on the precipice of your orgasm and could feel it fastly approaching. You slammed your hips against Astarion’s thigh as he continued to rub your clit brutally. 

“Do you believe in love at first bite?” He leaned forward and kissed your throat, then began to suck a new mark into the flesh there. Contrary to his pun, he wouldn’t drink from you without your expressed permission first.

It did, however, send you crashing over the edge. You moaned loudly, Astarion’s name tumbling repeatedly out of your mouth. The vision behind your eyelids was white and you reached out blindly to grip Astarion’s shoulders. His lips detached themselves from your throat and found your own. His tongue was immediately in your mouth, swallowing your moans and shouts of his name.

When you came down, you disconnected from the kiss and opened your eyes, a lopsided grin on your face. 

“Thank you,” you said. “I do feel better.”

Astarion smirked. “I knew you would.” He brought his fingers, still coated in your essence, up to his mouth and sucked them clean. You watched, mesmerized by the way his cheeks hollowed and his eyes fluttered shut. He pulled them out with a lewd pop. “Delicious.”

You felt your face flush, embarrassed by his display, despite just cumming in his lap. 

“You shouldn’t feel embarrassed about this,” Astarion said, reading your expression immediately. “What you should feel embarrassed about is the fact that you came because I told a joke.”

“I did not!” You protested.

“You absolutely did,” Astarion said. “And it was a particularly bad one, too.” He clicked his tongue. “You must feel so ashamed.”

You groaned. “I came because you started kissing my neck!”

Astarion raised his eyebrows, clearly not believing you. “It’s okay, darling, no one here was under the impression that you aren’t incredibly lame.” He gave you a pitying look, then kissed your nose and you laughed. He pulled back and looked at you fondly, a dopey half smile on his face. Then he looked up at the sky.

The periwinkle you’d awoken to was now vibrant shades of orange and pink. 

“Are you okay if I move you?” Astarion asked.

“Um… sure?” You weren’t sure why he was asking, and helped to move yourself off of him. You did feel a bit less sore thanks to his help. 

He stood up and stretched his arms over his head, then bent to pick up a rag to wipe off his pants. 

“Sorry,” you said.

Astarion shook his head. “Comes with the territory.” You were about to make a joke but he held up a finger and gave you a warning look. “Don’t.”

You held up your hands innocently. 

He tossed you the rag after and then your pants and underthings.

“Clean up,” he instructed, “then get dressed.”

You furrowed your brows, your stomach dropping suddenly. He didn’t expect you to leave right now, did he? He hadn’t fucked you last night, then brought you more pleasure this morning, only for him to send you back to camp like it hadn’t happened, right?

Astarion snorted. He was watching you as he slipped on his shoes. “Relax, darling, I see that face. I just want to show you something.” He held out a hand to help you up.

“Okay,” you smiled, soothed by the pleasant look on his face. “Do you want your shirt back?” You made to lift it over your head.

“Keep it for now, dear,” Astarion said. “I rather like that on you, truthfully.” The collar was slipping off your shoulder as you pulled on your pants, and you made no move to adjust it, opting not to put your bra back on yet.

“Do you want to wear my shirt?” you teased.

“Tempting, but I fear I’d look better in it than you do.”

“Excellent point, don’t do that.” You adjusted the ruffles on Astarion’s shirt and felt a light breeze on your cleavage through the lacey opening at the collar. 

“Gods, you’re beautiful,” he said. You looked up and caught Astarion staring at your chest.

You laughed as he cleared his throat, then gestured deeper into the woods with his head. “This way.” He held out a tentative hand and you took it eagerly, bringing the back of his palm up to your face to leave a gentle kiss. Astarion squeezed your hand slightly at the contact, and began heading further into the forest, away from camp. A pleasant silence hung between the two of you and you rubbed your thumb absently along the back of his hand.

It wasn’t long before the trees started to thin and you heard the sound of rushing water somewhere close by. You emerged from the trees to find a cliff overlooking a ravine below. On the other side of the ravine was more forest, and beyond that, you could faintly see the Sea of Swords. The sun peeked out over the horizon, bright reddish orange in the distance. Its glow was a welcome sight and you found yourself in awe of the view.

Astarion let go of your hand and sat, dangling his feet over the edge of the cliff. You hesitantly stepped forward and sat beside him, opting instead to sit with one knee up, the other leg crossed beneath it. Astarion sat back on his arms. The sun reflected off his skin in the most beautiful golden and magenta hues. His hair, somehow still perfect despite your night together, was being jostled lightly by the breeze. He’d closed his eyes and tipped his head up, basking. You couldn’t help watching him as you rested your cheek on your bent knee. 

He didn’t open his eyes when he said, “I try to come out here every morning.” 

You sat in silence, continuing to watch him as you prepared to listen to whatever he’d say next. 

“After two hundred years in darkness, you forget how lovely the sunrise is,” he said. “I don’t ever want to miss another.”

“I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have been like,” you said softly. 

Astarion hummed in acknowledgment and opened his eyes. “I’d catch glimpses while lurking around the city for too long before dawn, hopping from shadow to shadow until I made it back to Cazador’s manor.” His eyes didn’t waver from the sun in the distance. “But there were moments where I’d catch a glimpse of it over the Chionthar.” His tone became sardonic. “The promise of a new day emerging! Something that I would never get to participate in.” He sighed. “I’d linger as long as I could in those moments.” 

You nodded, picturing a hopeful Astarion hiding behind buildings and in alleys, trying to get a fleeting look at a phenomenon that occurred every day, one that you took for granted. Your heart ached for him. 

He continued. “I never quite told you what Cazador made his spawn do for him.”

You tried to recall what Astarion had said to you before. Only that he’d been made to go out into the city and bring back “the most beautiful souls” he could find. Then Cazador would make him either drink from a disgusting dead rat, or abuse him for refusing. The thought made you visibly shudder. 

“I know that you had to bring people back to-” you lowered your voice, as if saying his name might summon him, “-Cazador, against your will. And that he’d kill them.” 

Astarion nodded his head once, remorsefully. “I never told you how we lured them.”

You could see pain etched into his features. You reached out a hand and placed it on his shoulder. He flinched a bit at the contact, but settled when he looked over at you.

“You don’t have to tell me any of this right now,” you said. “A lot has changed in the past few hours and there’s no rush in sharing these things with me. I know how hard it was to talk about your past the first time.”

“It was necessary, though,” Astarion looked over at you, his expression determined. “You needed to know what we might be up against. And you might need to know this too.”

“If you want to tell me, then I’m happy to listen, but please don’t force yourself for my sake.”

Astarion released a puff of air from his nose. “You keep doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Asking me what I want. Letting me choose.” 

You cocked your head sympathetically. “And I take it two hundred years as a slave hasn’t really afforded you any choice.”

“Correct,” he sighed. “As a spawn, your vampiric master has complete control over your body and your actions. Even in moments where I wanted to defy or fight back, I was powerless to do anything.” 

Your heart jumped into your throat. You hadn’t realized that was how it worked. Having no control over yourself or your actions sounded like a complete nightmare and you were glad that you’d hopefully never have to experience it. Knowing that that had been Astarion’s entire existence for the past two centuries made you sick to your stomach. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, just as you’d said the last few times he’d shared glimpses of his past.

Astarion’s eyes were closed once again as he inhaled deeply, then exhaled. He continued to bask in the rising sun for a few silent moments and you watched as it slowly rose higher into the sky. 

“That nightmare I had,” he said, his voice coming out quiet, “I’ve had it before.”

Again, you said nothing and waited for him to continue.

“I actually had the same one the night you let me drink your blood for the first time.”

“Oh, please don’t tell me that drinking my blood was some sort of revenge plot against me for haunting your nightmares.”

Astarion smiled a little. “No, it wasn’t about you. It was about Cazador.”

“You know, I’m really starting to dislike this guy,” you said, knowing how difficult this was for him and trying to keep his mood up with another little joke. 

“You and me both,” he sounded tired. “In the dream, I’m in the forest. Cazador appears and recites the rules of being his vampire spawn.” He held up his hand and recounted them on his fingers: “‘First, thou shalt not drink the blood of thinking creatures. Second, thou shall obey me in all things. Third, thou shalt not leave my side, unless directed. Fourth, thou shalt know that thou art mine.’” 

You listened patiently as Astarion recited each rule almost mechanically. You scrunched your nose with each passing instruction and rolled your eyes dramatically when Astarion finished.

“What a prick.”

He smiled again. “With an archaic speech pattern.”

“I was going to mention his archaic speech pattern.”

The smile faded slowly as Astarion returned to his thoughts. “The dream ends with Cazador telling me I’m his forever. That I can never escape.” 

You let the words hang in the air for a moment. “And yet, here you are.”

“Here I am,” he said humorlessly. He laid down fully on his back, the sun high enough to bathe him completely in its glow. He rested his arms behind his head and angled himself to look at you. “I realized, if I could walk in the sun, what other vampiric laws could I break?”

You looked down at him, admiring the light glinting off his bare chest. “So you decided to test your theory on me? I’m touched.” You held a hand to your chest, pretending to be deeply moved.

“In all honesty, I thought you were the least likely to kill me if I got caught.” He smirked at you. “And it would seem I was right.”

“I wouldn’t have let any of the others kill you,” you said firmly.

Astarion chuckled. “How sweet. My brave little protector.” He reached over to pinch your cheek.

You swatted him away. “Hey, who saved your ass from a bugbear yesterday?”

He shrugged. “I would have been fine.”

You leaned forward and shoved him lightly, making him laugh and throw his arm forward as a shield. 

When his laughter died down, his face grew a touch more serious again. “When you so graciously assaulted me this morning, he’d just finished telling me rule number three; that I can’t leave him unless he tells me to.”

You thought for a moment. “Which begs the question,” Astarion looked over at you expectantly, “how did you end up out here? From what I recall, the sun was still out when the nautiloid reached the Gate. You didn’t have the tadpole yet, so how’d you escape?”

“I wouldn’t say it was much of an escape.” His eyes shifted up to the sky, his expression thoughtful. “I was looking for new victims for Cazador. It was dusk and I had just been given the order to go out and hunt. I was weaving through shadows, avoiding the setting sun, but there’s only so many places one can hide from a giant tentacle that won’t burn you to a crisp. One of the tentacles caught me when I attempted to flee down an alleyway. A complete accident.”

“If it helps, I tripped while running away.”

“Of course you did.” He sighed. “Figures it would take an alien invasion to finally free me from his clutches. Not some,” he waved his hands in the air, gesturing to nothing in particular, “heroic figure sent by the gods to save me and smite that horrible man down to somewhere further and more vile than the Nine Hells.” His hands fell ungracefully to his sides.

He wasn’t wrong. How could any god worth their salt claim to be holier than thou when such suffering was occuring right under their noses? And you were pretty sure, based on tales you’d heard of Mystra and Shar from Gale and Shadowheart, that the gods hadn’t planned for the nautiloids or the rise of the Absolute. Yet if it weren’t for any of that, Astarion would still be trapped in Baldur’s Gate and your adventure thus far would have looked very different.

“If I’d known, I would have done something,” you said, knowing it was more complicated than that, but still wanting to help somehow. 

“Darling, if I’d met you in Baldur’s Gate, I would not have hesitated to take you to Cazador.”

That hurt. 

You said as much. “Ouch.”

“Well,” he sounded angry, though he directed it up towards the sky and not at you, “I wouldn’t have had a choice! Sure, it would have been a little novel, given how inexperienced you are, but regardless, I would have handed you off to him as soon as I’d made you finish.”

Ah. So that was how he lured people. It made sense, now that you put the pieces together; Astarion was so experienced because he had to be. Of course unsuspecting victims would fall prey to the allure of an eternally beautiful vampire, especially the one laying next to you. Of course the promise of pleasure from someone that sexy would be the obvious thing to agree to. It was a wonder your paths had never crossed before the nautiloid. 

“Once,” Astarion broke the silence that had fallen between you, his tone distant, “in the first decade of my slavery, I found a darling boy who I couldn’t bear to bring back to him.” He finally looked over at you, his eyes full of sadness. “So I ran, instead of hurting that sweet man.”

You reached for his hand, then thought better of it. All his snide “don’t touch me’s” on the road now held a new, terrible weight.

“After Cazador caught me, the bastard sealed me, starving, inside a dusty tomb, all on my own, for an entire year. A year of silence”

A hand flew to your mouth. “Astarion…” you felt your eyes begin to prick with tears and did your best to will them away, fearing that they might make Astarion stop sharing.

He went on. “Months of scratching my hands raw, trying to carve my way out, more months of not moving at all. Months wishing only for death.” He took a deep breath, then blew it out shakily. “So no, I wouldn’t have hesitated, had we crossed paths.”

You opened and closed your mouth several times, attempting to find words that could possibly compose an appropriate response to the horrors you currently refused to picture. “I have no words,” is what you finally settled on, followed by an, “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing can make up for that,” he said quietly. “Not even Cazador’s death.” He paused. “Well, it would help a little, but the coward deserves a fate worse than death.”

“Can I hug you?” you blurted, unable to stop yourself.

Astarion blinked a few times, then sat up. “What?”

“I just… you’ve been through such hell and I want to hug you, but I don’t want to touch you without your permission.”

He looked you up and down and saw the sincerity evident on your face. “I… suppose.” He pulled his legs up from where they were still dangling above the ravine and turned to face you head on. 

“Thank you,” you said, still attempting to keep your tears at bay.

You leaned forward and weaved your arms beneath Astarion’s, hooking your arms up and placing your hands on his shoulder blades. You settled your face between his neck and shoulder and could feel that his arms were frozen rigidly in place in front of him. You took a shaky breath and stayed still, allowing Astarion to move at his own pace. 

His arms finally settled around you and he bent his head so his cheek rested against your hair. 

The two of you stayed like that for a while, relishing in the other’s closeness. You moved your hands back and forth across his back absently. When you caught yourself, you pulled back to look at him and asked, “Is it okay that I’m touching your back?”

Astarion chuckled softly. “Yes, my dear. It’s rather nice, actually.”

You smiled and nuzzled your nose into the crook of his neck. Seriously, did he always smell this good?

Despite the pleasant distraction, something was nagging at your thoughts.

“Can I ask you something?” you murmured into his skin.

Astarion sighed dramatically. “If it has anything to do with my fangs, I’ll rip your throat out.”

You snickered to yourself. “No, not another dumb joke, I promise.”

“Then by all means.”

You pulled back once more to look at him in the face. His eyes widened when he saw your nervous expression. You avoided holding his gaze, feeling a little small. 

“Do you… want to be with me?”

Astarion looked taken aback. “What?”

“I mean… well…” You were having trouble sorting through your thoughts. Who were you to make this moment about yourself when Astarion had just been so open with you? And why couldn’t you trust him in what he had told you last night? Still, you had to know. You’d made it clear how much you cared for him and how much sleeping with him had meant to you. 

Given his past experiences, it made sense why he’d sleep with you, but you wanted to hear him say it. If this was all some ploy to manipulate you into doing what he wanted, even without Cazador’s instruction, you needed to know now. 

“Was I… just another conquest?” you asked, your tears reemerging. “Because if that’s the case, then I think we should end whatever this is.”

Astarion’s face was now inches away from yours. He moved a hand from your back and shifted it up to wipe a wayward tear that had escaped. He said your name softly.

“No, my sweet,” his other hand started rubbing soothing circles into your back. He pulled back a little. “Well, yes.”

You scoffed, another tear rolling down your cheek. 

Astarion was quick to correct. “No, no! I mean, at first, yes, it was my plan to seduce you and sleep with you.”

You let out a small whimpering noise and he tried to catch your eye. You kept your gaze glued on something in the distance, unseeing.

Astarion cleared his throat. “You- You’re valuable; someone willing to feed me, someone who advocated for me to stay with you all, even though you knew vampires were dangerous, someone who would protect me in battle, even if it meant sacrificing something important to you.”

Try as he might to get your attention back on him, your face remained blank as you stared into the distance.

“I wanted your continued protection.” He shrugged. “Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in and I thought I could secure that with sex.”

That got you to look at him, a sour expression on your face. “Have you met me?”

Astarion chuckled. “Yes, I have. And that’s what threw me for such a loop.”

You humphed.

“When I realized you’d be more of a challenge, I modified my plan.”

“I don’t love the direction this is headed.”

“Stay with me, darling” he said, “I promise I’m going somewhere with this.”

You exhaled and nodded for him to continue. 

“I did want to give you a good first experience, that much was true, but I will admit that I was still planning on using you.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You realize how bad this sounds, right?”

“Will you-” he sighed. “Let me finish, damn you,” he brought his forehead to yours briefly, then pulled back. “So imagine how stupid I felt when I realized I genuinely felt something for you.”

That made you smile softly. 

He groaned. “And yes, it is because I find you to be… a lot of fun.” The last phrase sounded like it hurt coming out. 

Your soft smile transformed into one of smug satisfaction. “And when did you come to this conclusion?”

“Well first of all, look at you.” He smiled slyly and you playfully pushed his face away from yours, just as you had last night. After a moment, Astarion looked up, as if searching through his thoughts. “I suppose I’ve always found you to be amusing. You were so easy to fool in the beginning. I mean, the very first day we met, you thought I had one of those brain things cornered.”

“I had no reason not to believe you! And then you held a knife to my throat!” “Ah, memories,” he sighed wistfully. “But then we started traveling together, and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed more. Killing those goblins outside the Grove, fooling those trolls into working for us, taking out those Paladins of Tyr… you always had a sarcastic comment to contend with my sarcastic comments. Which is saying something.”

You snorted. “As if I wouldn’t have something to say.”

Astarion nodded. “You do talk a lot.” 

You chuckled softly, feeling better. Your arms were still wrapped around Astarion.

“It was when I kissed you.” His tone was thoughtful.

“Hmm?”

“When I really kissed you for the first time, there was something different about it.” His eyes flicked down to your lips momentarily. “Suddenly everything we’d been through came rushing back to my mind and there was this… pleasure I hadn’t felt. In an awfully long time.”

You smiled like a dope, bringing your forehead to his.

“I realized you weren’t going anywhere. And that you genuinely cared about what I thought and what I wanted.” He looked at you almost shyly. “No one in the past two hundred years has stayed.” Astarion pulled back and his inflection became flamboyant and playful: “Not that they had much of a choice, but it was a somewhat shocking revelation.” His tone then returned to one of sincerity: “And no one has cared for me as you have.”

You looked away, embarrassed by the kind words.“What can I say, I’m incredible.”

Astarion blew out a cool puff of air that tickled your face. “Annoyingly, you are.”

You looked back at him and smirked. “For me, it was when you asked me how I’d want to die.”

Astarion snorted. “Pardon?”

“When you asked me how I wanted to die on one of our first nights at camp. I genuinely had the thought, ‘Now here’s a guy who knows how to have a good time.’”

Astarion laughed brightly. You mirrored his grin.

“You said you wanted to be decapitated.” 

“How romantic of me,” he said, raising a seductive eyebrow. 

“Well it did spark the crush I’ve been harboring this whole time,” you felt your face heat up at the admission. “That, and your stupid beautiful face.”

Astarion sniffed mockingly. “Thank you, not enough people mention that.” Then he looked at you fondly. “But that long, eh? How adorable.” He rubbed his nose against yours teasingly. “And here you thought nothing would come of it.”

“Nothing usually does!” you exclaimed.

He laughed and leaned forward to kiss you once. “Not so loud.”

You lifted an eyebrow and gestured to the empty landscape around you. Astarion shrugged. You lowered your voice despite the lack of other people to bother.

“I am glad something came of it this time.” You settled your forehead onto his shoulder.

“As am I, my love,” he kissed your hair. “Though I have something else to admit.”

You pulled back and looked at him curiously.

Out of nowhere, he presented you with a knife.

“I did have a knife.”

You scoffed incredulously and whacked his arm. “I KNEW YOU HAD A KNIFE, YOU BASTARD!” You laughed loudly and pushed him backwards. 

He fell back onto his arms, laughing with you as you crawled on top and kissed him deeply. 

“Careful darling,” he murmured against your lips, “don’t move.”

You paused your movements, your lips still pressed firmly against his own. Astarion turned his head slightly to look over to his left at the treeline you’d emerged from not too long ago. You pressed a kiss to the side of his mouth and felt him grin. Then you felt his right arm come up and jerk slightly, followed by a “THUNK” sound off to your right. 

You waited a moment before you asked, “Can I move?” Your mouth was smushed against his face and your voice came out muffled.

He chuckled. “Yes, you can move now.” 

You sat up and looked to your right, the knife Astarion had pulled was now wedged deeply into the trunk of a nearby tree. You raised your eyebrows at him.

He stretched out like a cat in a sunbeam, his voice straining as he went. “Impressed?”

“Honestly? Yes.” You leaned back down and kissed him again. 

He hummed and his mouth moved against yours at a leisurely pace, his hands coming up to tangle in your hair. You kissed down his jaw and throat before coming to his collarbone and stopping.

“You’re sure you don’t want to fuck me again?” Your words came out a little shy and Astarion laughed. 

He twirled the ends of your hair around his finger. “Delicious as you were, my sweet, I think I’d prefer to take my time with you.” 

You pursed your lips, disappointed. 

“That’s not to say I don’t want to, darling, but…” His fingers stopped twirling your hair as he thought. “Like you said earlier, so much has changed in the last few hours. I’ve only just discovered that I can sleep with somebody because I actually want to.” His hand moved from your hair to your cheek. “I think I need some time to adjust to that.”

You nodded and bent to kiss him. “I’ll wait as long as you need me to.”

He smiled up at you. “Thank you.”

You spent a few moments just looking at him, admiring how his eyes sparkled in the sun like rubies. You sighed noticeably. 

“What is it, love?”

You shook your head. “It’s nothing.”

“Darling…” He raised his eyebrows at you. 

“No, it’s inappropriate right now.” You looked away.

You felt his hand in your hair, and his voice was conspiratory, “I love when you talk dirty.”

You sighed again and looked him in the eye. “One of these days, when you’re ready, I’m going to look into your gorgeous eyes as I make you come.”

Astarion sputtered out a surprised laugh. “Easy there, lover,” he gave you a sultry look, “I may just take you up on that.”

You sat up and spread your hands over his chest. “I want to make you feel good, too.”

He brought both hands up to his face and groaned loudly before dragging them back down his face and looking at you. “Come lay in the sun with me, will you?”

You pouted but rolled off of him and curled into his side. 

“There now,” he said, arching his chest upwards towards the sky where the sun had now risen for the day, “isn’t this nice?”

You inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of the trees and the sounds of the ravine below. You exhaled and closed your eyes, warmed by the sun and comforted by the presence of Astarion beside you. He himself had his eyes closed and looked peacefully content. You nuzzled further into his side, enjoying how his cool skin contrasted with the warmth coming from above.

Before you could even register that you were still tired from your early wakeup call this morning, you’d drifted back into a comfortable sleep.

~~~~~

You were awoken some time later by a lick to the face. 

You shut your eyes tighter and groaned. “Gross, Astarion, I’m trying to sleep.” You threw an arm over your eyes, the sun now directly overhead. 

“Did you find them, boy?” A voice shouted from the distance.

Your eyes shot open and found Scratch panting above you, wagging his tail excitedly. 

You sat up quickly and immediately leaned over to shake Astarion who appeared to be trancing soundly. 

“Astarion,” you shook him anxiously. 

He scowled, his eyes still closed. He groaned lowly.

“Astarion, my dear, my sweet, my beloved,” you shook him harder and his eyes opened immediately. He sat up, fast as lightning.

“What’s happening? Where’s my knife?” He looked around frantically until his eyes landed on you. “Ah,” he said, calming, “déjà vu.” 

“They’re coming,” you hissed.

“Who?” Astarion narrowed his eyes, thoughts still foggy from his trance. 

“No FUCKING way!” Came Karlach’s voice from the treeline. 

You looked over and found her with an elated grin on her face and her hands on her knees. She started laughing loudly and you hid your face in your hands. 

“You guys did NOT,” she wheezed. 

“Hello Karlach,” Astarion’s voice sounded nonchalant beside you. “What brings you out to ruin our beauty sleep?” 

“Did you find them?” Shadowheart soon emerged from the forest and stopped in her tracks. She surveyed the area and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Astarion, tell me you didn’t.”

“Did what, darling?” He sounded smug and you looked over at him. His expression matched his tone. “You’ll have to be more specific.” He rested his chin on your shoulder.

“I fucking knew this would happen,” Karlach said, coming down from her laughing fit. “Soldier’s had her eye on you for a while now, Fangs.”

“Karlach!” You whisper-shouted.

“Oh, I’m aware,” you felt Astarion turn his head to look at you. 

Suddenly Gale, Lae’zel, and Wyll joined the fray. Scratch ran to them and happily weaved between them as they emerged. 

“We heard a commotion, did you find them?” Gale halted when he saw you and Astarion sitting together on the ground, him shirtless, you wearing his shirt. “No,” he said, shaking his head.

“Yes,” Astarion said, tilting his head against yours. You gave him a dirty look. 

“Chk! Was that filthy nest of our blankets your doing?” Lae’zel asked, cradling her greatsword proudly. 

You groaned and hid your face in your hands again. 

“It would appear so,” Wyll confirmed awkwardly. 

“You vampires have a disgusting way of mating if that nest was any indication,” Lae’zel narrowed her eyes and lifted her nose in the air judgmentally. “Far too soft.”

Astarion scoffed and pulled back from you. “I’ll have you know that vampires mate in the most satisfying- well, we don’t mate, necessarily, we’re not dogs, but we, well at least I, am always an exemplary lover.”

Shadowheart ignored him and walked forward, crouching down and resting a hand on your shoulder. You looked at her. “Are you okay?”

“What?” you laughed in disbelief. “Yes, I’m fine.”

“He didn’t… coerce you into something, did he?”

“Excuse me?” Astarion sounded insulted. “I always ask permission first, darling.”

“Your charms can be quite overwhelming at times, Astarion,” Gale said. 

“And wouldn’t you like having my charms turned on you, wizard,” Astarion sneered. 

“Well, let’s not jump to any conclusions,” Wyll held up his hands, gesturing for the others to relax.

“Everyone!” You raised your voice. All eyes settled on you. “Nothing happened between us that I didn’t expressly and happily agree to.”

Karlach started chuckling again. “Good for you, Soldier.”

“Thank you, Karlach,” said Astarion. 

You narrowed your eyes at him. 

He shrugged. “What?”

You groaned and stood up, wiping grass and forest debris off your clothes. You adjusted Astarion’s shirt on your shoulders, making sure you weren’t showing off too much to your companions. 

“Is there a reason you all came out here? Or was it just to mortify me? Because mission accomplished!”

“It’s midday,” informed Wyll. “We grew worried when the two of you seemingly vanished and didn’t return.”

“Halsin and the tieflings are coming to camp tonight to celebrate our victory against the goblins,” Shadowheart crossed her arms. 

“Yes, and it wouldn’t be a great look if our leader and the gangly one were missing,” Gale said.

“Gangly?!” Astarion exclaimed, very clearly not gangly. 

“You’re- okay, well, I hadn’t seen you shirtless before now,” Gale amended. 

“Like what you see?” Astarion teased. 

“Astarion,” you scolded. 

He sighed and got up, wrapping an arm around you and resting a hand on your hip. 

You went red as you watched your companions track his hand. 

“Listen, people,” Astarion said, sounding serious. 

You saw your companions’ eyes shift to the vampire. 

“Don’t give her a hard time. This was my doing.” Shadowheart was about to say something but Astarion raised his voice a bit. “While yes, she gave permission in everything that we did, this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t suggested it in the first place.”

“I could have suggested something much better, surely,” Lae’zel huffed.

“I mean, did you-?” Karlach thrust her hips in the air with her fists at her sides.

“Oh my gods,” you groaned.

“I don’t kiss and tell, darling,” Astarion said, squeezing your hip slightly. 

Karlach smirked smugly and winked at you both. 

You shook your head and looked up, silently begging any god that was listening to kill you and to do it quickly. 

“We should get back to camp,” Wyll suggested diplomatically. “Let these two collect themselves.” 

“So what does this mean?” Shadowheart asked, ignoring Wyll. 

“Shadowheart,” Wyll warned but she waved him off.

“What do you mean?” You asked.

“Are you only going to sleep with the pathetic vampire moving forward?” Lae’zel stated bluntly.

You and Astarion looked at each other. You saw the slightest flash of uncertainty in his eyes and smiled. “If he’ll let me,” you said. 

A small smile appeared on his face in return.

Lae’zel groaned. “K'chakhi. Your loss.” She turned and walked back into the forest, slinging her greatsword over her back.

You bit your lip, feeling guilty about Lae’zel’s feelings, but Karlach soon slid into your vision. “Congrats, you crazy kids,” she laughed and pretended to punch your arm, then followed on Lae’zel’s heels, Scratch bounding close behind her.

Gale walked over, his face stoic. He stood in front of Astarion and held out his hand. 

Astarion scowled. “What is this, do you want some sort of handout?” 

“I want to shake your hand, you buffoon,” Gale sounded frustrated. 

“Gale…” you said sorrowfully. 

“No no, think nothing of it,” he waved you off. “The right man won out in the end.”

Astarion took his hand and shook it. “Better luck next time,” he jeered. 

“Astarion,” you scolded again. “You both know I’m not something to win, right?”

“Of course you’re not,” Gale nodded. “Apologies, I misspoke. I’ll see you both at camp. Lunch is bread and cheese to save room for tonight’s festivities.” He stiffly turned and walked back towards the trees. Wyll gave him a sympathetic look, then caught your eye. He nodded somewhat sadly and followed after Gale. 

“Well that certainly doesn’t feel good,” you said, holding a hand to your chest and breathing deeply.

“Not quite finished yet, love,” Astarion nodded over towards Shadowheart who lingered nearby. 

She approached slowly, holding her hands behind her back. Astarion released your hip and moved away, sensing what Shadowheart aimed to do. You looked at him curiously, but your attention was drawn back to Shadowheart as she threw her arms around your neck. 

“You’re happy?” She asked softly.

“Shadowheart…” you smiled into her hair. “Yes, I’m happy. Thank you.”

She pulled back to look at you in the eyes, double checking your expression. When she saw that you were genuine, she nodded. She cleared her throat and looked over at Astarion. 

She pointed an accusatory finger at him. “Hurt her, and you will never know a happy day again.”

Astarion held up his hands defensively. “I won’t-”

“You have never known the pain of Lady Shar’s wrath, and you’d be smart to keep it that way, so help me gods, Astarion.”

“I got it,” he said flatly. 

“Our Lady of Loss would not hesitate to strike you where you stand-”

“I think he gets it,” you said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Thank you, Shadowheart.”

Shadowheart narrowed her eyes at Astarion before she looked back at you. “I’ll see you at camp. Don’t dally.” She looked pointedly at Astarion who shrugged helplessly. 

When she headed back into the forest, you and Astarion were finally alone. 

You let out a heavy sigh.

“That was a lot,” Astarion joined you at your side.

“Wait, did you know those people?” you smirked at him.

“Vaguely,” he smirked back and caught you in a kiss. “At least I don’t have to hold back from doing that at camp now.” He held you close in his arms.

You sighed again and laid your head on his shoulder. “You were right. I didn’t realize so many of them felt something for me.”

“That seems to be because you block out the advances of others.”

You shoved him playfully. “How dare you turn my pitiful backstory against me.”

He smiled and held out his hand. “Come on, let’s go dismantle that ‘disgusting’ nest.” He did his best to impersonate Lae’zel on “disgusting.” 

It made you laugh. “Okay.”

You took his hand and let him lead you through the trees back to the blankets and pillows that you’d spent the night on. 

When you arrived, you picked up your shirt and bra, feeling mild embarrassment that the others had probably seen them and drawn (correct) conclusions. You removed Astarion’s shirt and threw it back at him, hitting him in the face and quickly covered your chest with your forearm. 

Astarion laughed as his shirt fell into his awaiting hands. “Darling, you don’t have to hide from me,” he narrowed his eyes seductively. “I’ve already seen it all.” He tossed the shirt aside and made his way over to you.

“Feels different in the light of day,” you admitted self-consciously. “Worse, I guess.”

“Now, now,” he said, gently pulling your arm away from your chest, “let me see you in the daylight.” You allowed him to move your arm but didn’t look at him. “Lovely,” he breathed, and kissed you hard. 

You inhaled in surprise, but immediately gave in and slipped your tongue into his mouth and your arms over his shoulders. His hand came up and began massaging your left breast, his icy touch sending a shock wave through you and making you moan. 

Instantly, you pulled away and took a step back. “Careful,” you said as Astarion stared at you wide-eyed, his hand frozen in the air where he’d been palming your breast, “I thought you wanted to take things slow?”

He made a sound somewhere between a groan and a dry heave. “Stop being so nice to me,” he avoided your gaze. “It makes me want to… be nice back.”

“Gods forbid,” you laughed, and bent to pick up your bra which had fallen back amongst the pillows. 

All of a sudden, you found yourself face down in the blankets, the wind knocked out of you and Astarion’s body weight pressed firmly on top of you.

“Astarion,” you wheezed, “what are you doing?”

His voice was sultry in your ear, “If you’ll remember, I said I wanted to take my time with you.”

Sexy as that was, you couldn’t breathe. You reached behind yourself and smacked Astarion’s back with your palm. “Living creatures need to breathe, idiot!”

“Oh,” he realized his error and rolled off of you. You had no time to adjust yourself before he flipped you over and hovered above you on his hands and knees. 

You blew some hair out of your face, irritated. “Did you just tackle me like I was some sort of prey?”

“My dear, I would never,” he bowed his head and kissed your neck.

“And yet I find myself on the ground, even though I didn’t put myself here,” you tangled your hands in his hair, your voice wobbly. 

“You’ve always been rather clumsy,” he murmured teasingly. 

You took a deep breath and pushed him away. His lips were still puckered, making you giggle. “Shadowheart told us not to dally,” you reminded him. “And she threatened to kill you, what? Three times?”

“You forget that I’m already dead,” he smiled. “What’s another little death?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

You snorted. “Bad.”

“I thought that was rather clever, actually.”

You rolled your eyes affectionately. “We should really head back.”

Astarion whined and hung his head. “Let me have you again, woman!”

“But you said-”

“I know what I said!” He lifted his head and looked you in the eye. “And while I appreciate your concern, right now, I very much want to be inside of you again.”

You smiled cautiously. “Are you sure?”

He rolled his eyes and kissed you, lowering his body to roll his hips against yours and making his erection very obviously. You jolted at the unexpected sensation and he pulled back.

“Unless this is too much for you,” he searched your face for hesitancy. “You’re probably still sore and we don’t have to rush anything-”

You gripped the back of his head and tightened your fist into his curls. “Please,” you whispered, “fuck me again.”

A wicked grin bloomed on Astarion’s face and he kissed you passionately, rolling his hips against yours for friction. You moaned into his mouth, but he broke the kiss after only a few moments. “Like I said, love, I want to take my time with you.”

He rose up onto his knees and began untying the laces of your pants. You watched him intently and bit your lip as he removed them fully from your legs. He made quick work of his own and crawled back on top of you. His thumb hooked under your panties and his eyes met yours. You nodded and he pulled them down gently and discarded them close by. He then laid beside you, his eyes heavy with lust.

“Come here, precious thing,” he purred and you inched yourself closer to him. “Turn around,” he instructed. You gave him a confused half smile but did what he asked. He reached forward and pulled your hips back, causing you to feel his still-clothed cock against your ass.

“What are you doing?” you asked nervously. 

Astarion chuckled. “Not that, fear not.” He kissed your shoulder as he slid his left arm under you and settled his hand on your lower stomach. A chill ran through you as he nuzzled his head onto your shoulder. “Fair warning,” you could hear the mischief in his voice as his right hand made itself known in front of your face. He wiggled his fingers in a delicate wave, then brought it down between your thighs. 

A gasp escaped your throat when you felt his fingers swipe through your folds.

Astarion tilted his head and kissed your throat. “So wet already, darling.”

“You’re handsome,” you said by way of explanation.

He hummed against your shoulder and began to rub your clit. A shuddering breath left your mouth and your eyes fluttered shut. Astarion paused for a moment to lift your leg and hike it back over his. “This will feel good,” he said against your skin and dragged his fingers through your folds again before inserting a digit into your cunt. 

You threw your head back in surprised pleasure, which made Astarion turn and nip at your ear. He began pumping and curling his finger slowly inside of you. Your breath caught when his thumb resumed its spot on your clit and whined when his finger inside of you hit a particularly sensitive spot. He adjusted his angle to hit it repeatedly. 

“Astarion,” you moaned, your head clouded with nothing but ecstasy. 

“Yes, my sweet, you’re gripping me so tight,” his voice was sensual in your ear. “Do you think you can take a little more?”

You nodded, your eyes shut tight. 

“Words, darling.”

“Another…” you said breathily.

“Another what?”

Your voice was sing-songy. “Astarion, if you don’t put another finger in me right now, I’m leaving you.”

He laughed loudly before moving his mouth close to your ear again. “You like me too much.” Then he leaned up a little to catch your eye, his finger still pumping between your thighs. “Right?”

You smiled sympathetically, seeing your words had spooked him a little. You reached a hand up to cup his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere,” you clarified. “But I might kill you.”

“Got it,” Astarion dragged his index finger through your folds, then carefully added it to your cunt alongside his middle finger. 

You exhaled, moving your hand down from his cheek to his hand resting on your stomach. You laced your fingers together and squeezed when he hit a particularly good spot, getting you to moan out an, “Oh, gods.”

“Like that?” He asked cockily, reaching and curling to hit the spot again. 

“Yes, my love,” you sighed, grinning upwards with your eyes closed. 

Behind you, you felt Astarion’s cock twitch.

Your eyes opened and you looked back at him. 

He smiled back at you sheepishly. “It does that sometimes, darling. When something is particularly arousing.”

Your breaths were coming out short and keeping in time with the pumping of his fingers. “Was it… ‘my love?’”

Astarion let out a low moan and hid his face in your shoulder before reemerging and nodding. “Coming from you while you’re in the throes of passion with me is really… something.”

You laughed between whimpers. “My… loooooove,” you sang, squeezing his hand again. “Your fingers feel heavenly, my looooove.”

“Fuck this,” Astarion said, pulling his fingers out of you unceremoniously and curling you forward with his body so he could shimmy out of his underwear. 

“What are you doing,” you winced and whined childishly, “I was so close!”

“Unfortunately, darling, if I’m not inside you within a matter of seconds, I’m going to lose it completely.”

“Wouldn’t want that,” you said, half dazed and still coming down from your almost climax. 

You felt his hand bump your ass as he pumped his cock and you instantly went stiff. “You’re not going to…?”

Astarion let out a breathy laugh. “Oh, my sweet, you’re not nearly ready for something like that yet.”

A relieved sigh escaped you. 

“We could always work our way up-”

“No, that’s okay,” you said quickly. 

“There’s nothing wrong with-”

“No, of course not-”

“But we can-”

“Let’s not talk about this now,” you patted Astarion’s cheek.

“Understood,” he nodded and resumed pumping his cock. “Hook your leg back over mine, darling.” When you followed his instruction, he kissed your shoulder once more. You felt the head of his cock glide through your folds until it prodded at your entrance and you let out a shaky exhale. “Don’t be scared,” he muttered, squeezing your hand. “Are you ready?”

You inhaled. “Yes.”

Just as he had last night, Astarion was slow to enter you. This time you heard him whimpering with his mouth so close to your ear. 

“Fuck,” he murmured, dragging his fangs from your shoulder to your neck, “still so tight.”

“Obviously,” you said, squeezing your eyes shut, but not feeling nearly as uncomfortable as you had the first time he’d entered you. You let out a satisfied exhale when his hips bumped your ass. 

“Let me know what I can move,” Astarion said against your skin, his words barely recognizable. 

“You can move,” you said almost immediately, reaching a hand up behind you and twisting it into Astarion’s hair. You moved it over a little to play with the tip of his ear.

He let out a loud groan and snapped his hips forward, probably with more force than he meant to. “Apologies,” he whispered, “that felt heavenly.”

“Keep going, my love,” you encouraged and he caught your eye with a seductive smile. 

He continued to pump his cock into your dripping hole and brought his right hand down to your clit. He licked a stripe from your neck up to your ear. “You know, I really did intend to take my time with you just now,” he spoke lowly from the back of his throat. As if to illustrate his point, he slowed his hips to take long, languid strokes out, and then moved back into you at an equally slow pace. His thumb on your clit slowed as he disconnected his left hand from yours and brought it up to fondle your breast. He kissed up your shoulder to your neck sloppily and sucked on the fading bite marks from last night. 

You moaned loudly, hooking your foot around his calf and tightening your fist in his hair. “We’d really be dallying, then,” you commented.

He made a frustrated noise. “Don’t even allude to the cleric right now,” he pulled away from your neck. “Unless it’s to tell me I’m a much better lover than her.” He snapped his hips into you, hard. 

“I don’t have much of a reference, genius,” you responded breathlessly. 

“Right,” he said, and picked up speed at your clit. His mouth returned to sucking on your throat. 

“Oohhh,” you sighed. You let out a gasp when Astarion’s left hand pinched your nipple.

“You feel wonderful, my darling,” spit connected him to your neck.

“So do you,” you brought your hand up to cover Astarion’s that was kneading your breast. “You can bite me, if you want.”

He groaned loudly and bumped his nose against your jaw. “Well,” he said between thrusts, “if you insist.” 

He kissed your throat before biting down, his hips instantly picking up speed. 

The ice that shot into your veins was a shock as always, but melted into a fuzzy pleasure that had your eyes drooping in ecstasy. 

Astarion took long pulls of your blood as he continued thrusting, circling your clit, and needing your breast. How he was keeping track of everything at once was beyond you in this pleasant, foggy state. 

“Darling,” he pulled away suddenly, swallowing loudly and seemingly out of breath. “May I taste you as you come?”

Your tongue lolled to the side, but his voice snapped you out of it. You nodded up at him. “Yes, please.”

“What do you need?” He licked the wounds on your neck. 

“As much as I’m enjoying you taking your time,” you said, “harder and faster.”

“Easy,” a cocky grin graced his face as a drop of your blood dripped down his chin. 

His hips picked up a brutal pace that nearly had you reaching your peak, and he pressed further onto your clit, his tight circles picking up speed as well. 

“Oh, Astarion,” you moaned loudly, reaching back again to grip his hair.

“Come for me, dearest,” he spoke softly against your throat, but loud enough that you could hear, “I want to hear you sing again. I want to taste how sweet your blood is when I make you cum on my cock.” He continued leaving sloppy kisses against your neck.

“I’m close,” you confirmed, your eyes shut tight and your body tensing. 

“Go ahead, love, I’ve got you,” his hard thrusts were becoming uneven, but ever the professional, his voice remained mostly even. “You’re so tight and warm, thank you for letting me taste you.” He kissed your mouth. “Darling.” Another kiss. “Beloved.” One more. “Mine.”

You cried out as you fell over the edge, your cunt squeezing his cock repeatedly, only to cry out again as you felt Astarion’s fangs enter your neck once more. 

“Astarion!” You shouted, squeezing his hand and pulling his hair and wrapping your shaking leg around his. Almost simultaneously, you felt Astarion spill inside you as he moaned your name loudly into your neck, his hips pulsing clumsily against you. 

The sensation of him drawing your blood was still pleasantly fuzzy, but you could feel yourself becoming light headed. You tapped his arm twice, your signal for him to stop, and he pulled away, leaning his forehead against your temple and breathing heavily. 

“Still cumming,” he groaned and clenched his teeth, his hips faltering in their rhythm. 

After another moment, his body finally relaxed and he pulled you closer into his chest, catching his breath. “That was… amazing,” he sighed happily, leaning forward to lick the remaining blood from your neck. “If I knew blood could taste that good-” His voice trailed off. “Well, I’m sure I’d do something about it if I could.” He seemed pleased with his own answer and hummed contentedly behind you.

“I’m glad it was to your liking,” you said, looking back at him with a smile. He bent forward and kissed you happily. “I’m like a fine vintage,” you teased.

Astarion pursed his lips. “You’re far from vintage, darling, you’ll have to work on your wine related japes.” 

You laughed and a comfortable silence fell between you. Astarion rested both of his hands on your stomach. Which growled suddenly.

“What’s that like?” He teased, licking a wayward drop of blood from the side of his mouth. 

Your body tensed. “Oh gods, bread and cheese!”

Astarion blinked at you. “Are those some sort of new deities I’m not aware of, or-?”

“No, that’s what Gale said we’re having for lunch.”

“And that’s important because-?”

“Because we DALLIED and there’s a PARTY tonight and now Shadowheart is going to KILL us.”

“I see.” Astarion remained still, fixed in place. Then suddenly he was pulling out of you at a breakneck speed and reaching for his clothes. 

You winced a little at the sensation but scrambled for your own clothes, wiping yourself down with the cloth Astarion provided again and got dressed in what was probably record time. 

Incredibly, you both looked presentable. 

“We do make a gorgeous pair,” Astarion cocked his hip and smirked at you, going in for a kiss.

You swatted him away. “Enough flirting, loverboy, we can talk about us later!” You started reaching for blankets and pillows. 

“Us,” Astarion stood on the sidelines, testing out the word on his tongue. “I do so like the sound of that.”

“Help me, would you?” You threw a pile of blankets at him, hitting him in the face and blowing his hair back. 

He groaned. “It should be a crime to rush after you’ve just made love to the most amazing woman.” He came up behind you and smacked your butt teasingly. 

You stood up straight and tried to look angry. “We are going to die if we don’t head back right now.” Astarion wasn’t buying your anger, so you turned bashful. “You made loooove to me?” You clasped your hands together by your face. “You think I’m amaaaazing?” You twirled some of your hair for good measure.

Astarion sighed. “Be serious, woman, we’re going to die!” His voice was exasperated but he smirked at you. He bent to pick up more blankets and pillows and you did the same until you both had piles you could barely see over and nothing was left behind.

“Ugh, I’m going to have to do so much laundry,” you muttered. “Seriously, how did you manage bringing all this out here?”

“Well first, everything was folded neatly.”

“We don’t have time.”

“And second, multiple trips, darling.”

“We can’t afford to leave camp EVER again.”

Try as you might to rush back to camp, you still had to maneuver through a forest and be careful where you stepped. The pair of you moved as quickly as you could, which wasn’t as fast as was probably necessary to avoid Shadowheart’s ire. 

“Soooo…” You broke the silence after a few moments. 

“Gods,” Astarion rolled his eyes, “what?”

“‘My love,’ huh?” You waggled your eyebrows at him.

“What about it?”

“You liiiiiiked it,” you teased. 

“I-” You could see that he thought about arguing but decided not to. “I’m not used to the pet names turned on me. It’s… nice.”

“You’re cute,” you said, looking over at him affectionately and nearly tripping over a tree root as a result.

Astarion snickered, then made his face serious. “I’m the furthest thing from cute. I’m a horrifying monster.” He lowered his voice as if that would back him up.

“Yeah, but you like being mushy.” 

“I do not.”

“You do!” You moved closer to him and bumped his hip with your own. “You were so sweet to me yesterday. And just now.” 

“It’s different with you,” he said quietly.

“Oh?” You raised your eyebrows.

“It’s… um… This is stupid, I hate it.” He tried to walk ahead of you but you caught up easily.

“No, no! Please.” You gave him a reassuring look. “I, of all people, will not judge you.”

He sighed. “It’s just… nice to feel like something is mine.” He was quick to correct, “Not that I own you but… I don’t know. You’re not a victim. Not a target. Not just… one night it’s better to forget. You’re something entirely new.”

You smiled over at him. “I like you too, weirdo.”

Astarion humphed. “Whatever.” He moved closer and bumped your hip with his own. The two of you shared a fond look, then turned back to the path ahead.

If Shadowheart was going to kill you, at least you’d die together. 

You both quickened your pace to try and avoid that fate, but it was a lovely thought.

Soon, you began to make out the bright colors of your tents through the trees and the sound of your companions chatting by the fire. 

You turned to Astarion. “See you on the other side.”

He nodded, determined. “It’s been a pleasure servicing you, darling.”

“I hope she kills you first.”

You shared a laugh before you took a calming breath. 

And stepped into camp. 

[nexysworld]

Chapter Summary: You wake up dazed and confused, no memory of anything he was saying. But it's Leon, and you can trust him right? Besides, maybe a vacation is exactly what you needed. Pairing: Yandere!RE4R Leon x Fem!Reader Tags: NSFW, Dead Dove, Dubcon, Kidnapping, Stalking, Smut, Unprotected Sex, Pet Names, violence, gore, MDNI, masturbation, murder, slow burn. Psychological manipulation, abuse of power, etc. no use of y/n. PTSD, flashbacks. There is smut this chapter. WC: 9.5k

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 It’d been a long time since you had such a good night's sleep, not even realizing the way you conked out completely on top of Leon. The even sound of his heartbeat in your ear – ba-bump, ba-bump, ba-bump – lulled you like the world’s best white noise machine. His warmth was comforting in a way no space heater could be. The smell of his fresh and spicy cologne was familiar. The combination was killer and before you knew it, not even the rumbling in your stomach was enough to keep you awake on top of him. It was reminiscent of the nights you’d spent in his apartment all those weeks ago after everything happened. Leon was your comfort, he was your safe space. After speaking with Dr. Birkin, while still not fully having come to terms with things, you were at least able to get rid of the guilt and lean into the man under you – leaving you weightless, at least for the moment. 

When you woke, it was due to the feeling of wind on your face, cold air stinging at your nose. The feeling of confinement made you panic, gasping as you clawed around until you realized you were no longer on your couch, but Leon’s jeep. 

“You good?” He asked, looking over to you. You were too busy looking around in confusion, panting as you tried to calm down. “Yeah I’m just… I’m confused.” “Confused about what?” He asked, cooly flipping on the blinker, his free hand making its way over to your thigh giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“We were on the couch, and now I’m in the car. What happened?” “That was this morning, don’t you remember?” You shook your head. “No, no I –” “Hey, it’s alright. Don’t worry about it. You’re probably just tired.” 

It was dark out, definitely well into the middle of the night if you had to guess. The only lights were the high beams of his jeep and the overhead moon — no familiarity of the city. Just thick trees and empty grass fields every now and then. If Leon hadn’t been with you, heavy hand on your leg, you’d have panicked from sheer lack of awareness. The sound of his voice cleared your head. “I honestly thought you’d have been out longer.” “I don’t understand.” You paused for a moment, fidgeting with the soft knit sleeves of your sweater — you hadn’t remembered changing clothes either. “We fell asleep on my couch after ordering food. I don’t remember anything after that . . . but I don’t get why I was tired again if we slept. Where are we even going? Leon, I’m really confused right now.” “Hey, hey. It’s alright.” He cooed, moving the hand that was resting on your thigh to gently pry your own from its fidgeting, kissing your knuckles gently. “Relax.” “That doesn’t answer—“ “I’m getting to that.” He assured, laying your hand back onto your lap with his on top. Whatever road you were on was long and winding, barely even speed signs posted throughout. “Sometimes people are just tired, it happens. After we woke up we ate the leftover food, you were talking about stress. I said you needed to relax, I suggested we go on a trip, away from it all for a change.” An odd uneasiness washed over you at his words. “I don’t remember any of that.” Flashbacks were coming to you the more you saw the pathway, the drive out to the camping spot with Derek, what came next. ‘That wasn’t real. That wasn’t real.’ You tensed, feeling a wave of nausea hit you. “We’re not going camping right?” “No. No, of course not!” “Where are we going then?” “To an old farmhouse.” He said casually. “It’s actually mine. Was left to me by someone I guess I’d consider my adopted father when he passed away. It’s old, but the land is beautiful, there’s tons of cute critters you can see too. Hey, you alright?” “I don’t know. I guess I’m just held up on the fact that I don’t remember any of this.” “Well you know, gaps in memory are a thing. That’s what the Doctor said, right?” “Yeah I guess, but this just feels so immediate. I mean — my job requires two weeks notice. It just doesn’t sound like me to do something so abrupt.” “I took care of it.” “What?” “Your job, I took care of it for you. You brought that up as your first concern. And then your meeting with Doctor Barkin. I have you covered on both fronts, he can do virtual sessions.” “Oh. Ok.” A thick silence overcame you both as you settled back into the carseat, rubbing at your tired eyes. “What about Mrs. Wilson?” “What about her?”  “I was still checking in on her when I could…even after…you know…when my leg was hurt. At least I tried to.” Truthfully it had only been a few times over the course of those weeks that you managed to make it over to the old woman’s apartment. But you did call more often to check-in, ordered groceries and other items she needed. “Don’t worry about that either.” “You sure?” “Yeah. I promise, I have everything taken care of. All you need to do is relax, rest. It’ll be alright.” “Ok.” What else could you say? It felt strange, the whole situation felt strange, but everything always did. There was no point in questioning him further or arguing, so you instead focused on the drive, sitting quietly in your seat. 

“We’re almost there.” He added, breaking the tension. “Maybe 30 more minutes at most.”

You nodded in response, returning to leaning against the doorframe watching the scenery pass by. The road had narrowed out into an open field, the pavement replaced by a dirt road that expanded farther out than you could see past the headlights. It felt eerie in an existential way, the expanse of field, being the only two alone on the empty road. It made you feel small and uneasy. True to his word, no more than 30 minutes later, the dirt road narrowed further into a tight path of trees with only enough room for one vehicle to pass. The dark tube of greenery opened up to reveal the house, just as Leon described. An old fashioned farm house — two stories with a gigantic wrap around deck. In the dim light it was hard to make out much more detail than that. “Here we are.” 

The inside was nicer than expected — but then given the upgrades Leon had made to his apartment, maybe it shouldn’t have come as a surprise. The plush sectional in the living room was huge, followed by a large TV mounted to the wall. Unlike his apartment there was more decor hung to the walls, little knick knacks scattered around. The place looked nice, lived in. 

You felt his arm wrap around you from behind, gently corralling you towards the staircase. Opposite of the stairs was a door, it looked different from the others you’d seen so far, too sturdy looking. A keypad type lock was above the hook-styled doorknob. “That’s fancy.” You pointed out as you let him guide you further up the stairs.  “Oh yeah – I keep some work equipment down there.” He replied quickly, his other hand adjusting to lift the bags he was carrying, ensuring they didn’t smack the stairs as he went.  The top floor plan was simple, two bedrooms, a large open area that connected to an upstairs balcony, and of course a bathroom. The bedroom was different, less modern than the setup of the downstairs. It was like it was ripped out of a vintage magazine, a fancy blue duvet set and a sturdy dark wood bed frame holding the king sized bed all together. No closet to be seen, but there was a matching dresser and wardrobe set. It was cozy. 

You followed Leon’s lead, setting your phone on the nightstand before unpacking your things. 

“You hungry?” He asked, folding the last of his things into the dresser drawer.  “A little, yeah.” 

“I can do breakfast for dinner. Tomorrow we can go to the store to get some actual groceries.” “Sounds good to me.” 

You followed him back downstairs, leaning against the island, watching as he flicked on the burner to heat up the pan. The smokey scent of bacon and the popping sizzle of grease filled the kitchen, making your stomach rumble. It felt domestic in a nice way, normal. You watched his broad shoulders from behind as he focused on cooking. You had the urge to hug him from behind, press a kiss to his back – you didn’t act on it though. 

The relationship between you was still strange, you weren’t able to put a label on it. Whatever the two of you were was trapped in some liminal space between couple, friends, and caretaker. It made you freeze before initiating on your end, even if you’d never deny it when he does it. To not have to deal with the feelings, you chose to take a better look around while you waited. Circling the living room a few times, running your hand over the soft fabric of the couch, before swinging around through the french doors into what looked like a sunroom repurposed into a library. The walls were covered in large bookshelves, each filled. Most were encyclopedias, college textbooks, science books for things you didn’t quite understand. There was a desk in the corner, an older looking laptop caked in dust sat on it. 

Nothing was really interesting to look at, you were going to return to Leon when you noticed an open shoebox settled on one of the shelves, almost missing it as it sat atop some shorter books. It felt like snooping, but your curiosity got the better of you, pulling it down to peek. It didn’t have a lot, some documents with a few pictures scattered. 

The first was an image of a younger looking Leon, same cropped hair and smile, but with far more boyish features. He was standing next to a stern looking man in a police uniform. Leon was holding what looked like a diploma of some kind. The next was a much more recent photo, dated for only a few months before you and Leon had even met. He was wearing that suit you saw him pack for work. “Oh shit –” You muttered to yourself, noting the girl standing next to him. “Ashley Graham?” It made sense, he worked for the government, but still, the president’s daughter? It seemed more than professional, the way he smiled at her, hand on his shoulder. 

You went to toss both images back into the box when you realized that the first had another stuck to it. It was just a picture of a girl, brown hair pulled over her shoulder as she looked off into the distance, sitting on a bench. There was nothing really noteworthy about it, no label or date either.  

“What are you doing?” Leon’s voice nearly made you jump out of your skin, seeing him standing in the doorway. “Sorry, I was just looking.” “Where’d you get those?”  “They were just in this box, sorry, I shouldn’t have looked without asking.” He took the photos from your hand eyeing them before tossing them back into the box for you. “It’s fine. I thought I’d tossed them all anyway.” He said, chucking the whole box into the trash on his way back to the kitchen.  “Why’d you do that?” 

“They’re just memories I’d rather not remember.” He said coolly as he set the plated food out on the kitchen island. 

“I can respect that.” You replied, not questioning him further. If there was anything you understood, it would be wanting to rid yourself of certain memories – though his were real pieces of his life. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The following morning started off rough. Out of habit you went to grab your phone off the nightstand the moment your eyes cracked open – yet all you felt was the hard wood of the table. You slapped your hand around a few times, still not feeling it. By the time Leon had woken up, you were buried into the wardrobe, digging into pockets of your own clothing, searching the bags too.  “What’s up?” He asked with a yawn, scratching the side of his head. Parts of his hair stuck up a little unkempt from sleeping. You frowned at him, shutting the wardrobe’s doors. “I can’t find my phone. I had it last night.” He nodded at you, rubbing some sleep from his eyes. “You sure? I don’t remember seeing it.” “Leon don’t… don’t say that please.”

“Ok, ok. Let me call it.” He plucked his own phone up, you could hear the quiet dial tone and ringing through his speaker, but no vibration or ringing anywhere else in the room. You chewed your lip out of frustration, tapping your foot on the ground. He rested his hands on your shoulders giving them a light squeeze. “Look, it’s almost time for your appointment with Dr. Birkin. Why don’t you focus on that and I’ll look for it?” “Well how am I supposed to even go to said appointment witho–” “I got you covered.” He said, placing a quick kiss to your temple. “Laptop downstairs, already logged in. Set it up last night.”

“Alright.” You conceded, not having much choice in the matter anyway. 

The appointment itself was standard. You talked about your feelings, he asked questions here and there. You answered. It didn’t feel nearly as emotionally heavy this time as before, and if anything you left feeling better having spoken about things again. It was also another sobering reminder of how much you needed Leon – how out of it you’d be without him. 

Stretching from the hour of sitting in an office chair, Leon knocked on the door frame to get your attention before making his way to you.  “How did it go?” “It went well.” “I’m glad to hear that.” 

“Did you ever find my phone?” “Unfortunately not, I checked everywhere, including the jeep.” “I guess I must’ve left it at home.”

“One less distraction from your mini vacation.” “Mmmm true.” You conceded, following him out the library. “You still need company for that trip to the store?” “Would be lonely going alone. Might even get lost in one of the aisles.” He said with that signature smirk of his. 

You couldn’t help but laugh in return. “Can’t let that happen.” The air outside was a little nippy, not wanting to change you asked if you could borrow a jacket. He pointed you to the hall closet, the one just inside the front door. You prodded around, there were several of what you assumed were Leon’s hanging up. A leather one with white stripes on the arms had your interest, you almost grabbed it when you saw a different one next to it. The bright red color caught your eye as you moved to pull it off of the hanger. It was smaller than the others, a woman’s styled leather jacket. You wondered for a moment why he would have something like that – an unfamiliar feeling of jealousy sparking up for a moment, you pushed it away telling yourself it didn’t matter. You slid the jacket on, fitting like a glove. It still had the lingering scent of perfume on it, one you recognized as your own. Not lingering to think about the situation further, you ran back out to the jeep. “There you are. Took so long I was starting to think you got lost in there.” When Leon lifted his head from the radio to look at you, his expression changed entirely, posture stiffening up like a cat.  “Yeah, almost found my way to Narnia.” You joked, settling into the carseat. “Why are you wearing that?” His voice was sharp, sounding like some kind of accusation, not a question.  “Well all I found were heavy winter coats and leather jackets. I saw this and thought it would be a better fit.” His knuckles turned white as he grasped onto the steering wheel, vision straight ahead at the house. He held his breath in for a moment, like a cartoon character about to pop and let steam out of their ears. “That belongs to her, it isn’t for you to wear.”  You weren’t sure how to respond to that. Immediately you were on edge, swallowing down that nervous dryness in your throat. “I’m sorry – “ “Take it off.” “Right, I can go grab another —” “No, give it to me.” He said, putting his hand out expectantly. 

Not wanting to argue with him, and more confused than anything, you quickly unzipped the jacket, sliding it off and handing it to him. Shuddering a little from the cold breeze hitting you now. He took it, tossing it into the back seat, his other hand still glued to the wheel, squeezing it tightly.  “I’m sorry if I did something wrong.” “I think it’s best if you stay here.” “But Leon “ “Out of the car!” He snapped, this time pointing back to the house. The sound of his voice made you jump in your seat, scrambling to open the door and step out onto the grassy ground. The moment the jeep’s door was shut, he was backing away so loud the tires whirred loudly, kicking up some of the dirt on the ground as he spun it around and took off down the road, leaving you where you stood, some mud specks on your face.  It reminded you of the movie theaters, getting left there out in the cold. The hurt and anxiety you felt after. But this was really happening, and you had no idea why. Standing there for a few seconds, like a lost child, you looked around taking in the place now in the view of sunlight. The dark trees that wrapped around the property danced in the wind. The house itself is more visible, the wooden exterior plated over itself, white painting chipping from the sides. You moved to stand on the wrap-around patio, following it around the house and towards the back yard to get a better view of the property you couldn’t see in the shadows of the previous night. 

There wasn’t much to see from where you stood. A small garden in the back that hadn’t been maintained in sometime from the wild weeds and flowers that were scattered about. A decorative white fence latticed in vines and other foliage wrapped around the backyard, separating that section of land from the rest. Your standard hammock like bench-swing swung idly in the wind on the back part of the patio.

With nothing more to see and the chill of the outside creeping up again, you made your way back inside, relishing in the warmth of the house. Not sure how long you decided to stay outside, or even what time it was, instinctively you reached for your phone, patting at your pocket before remembering that it wasn’t with you. ‘Shit.’ You cursed inwardly, pinching the bridge of your nose. 

Without Leon around, the house felt huge. It occurred to you that you were really all alone out in the middle of nowhere. No vehicle, no Leon, and not even a phone. It made your spine tingle, you squirmed a bit in place to get the feeling to go away before deciding to flop onto the couch.

‘I don’t get why he’s so upset. I would’ve just changed.’ You thought to yourself, mindlessly flipping through streaming apps. ‘Who is she anyway?’ The thought of Leon being angry with you made you want to cry. You didn’t though – managing to keep it together enough to idly watch some stupid show. 

You hadn’t really paid attention to how many episodes you watched or how much time had passed. The soft rumbling of your stomach was the only other indicator that it had been awhile. As if on cue, you could hear the familiar sound of the jeep’s engine outside, whirring to a stop. Next came the inevitable footsteps on the porch, followed by the door opening. 

Like a puppy, you bounded from the couch over to the sound, careful to get too close, scared he was still upset with you. There he was, hair slicked back slightly, multiple bags of groceries dangling on each arm.  “Is that all of them, I can help –” “I got it.” He said flatly. The words cut you, deflated you.  “Oh, ok.” You heeled back a bit, not moving from your spot. ‘So he is still mad.’ Tearing your eyes off of him, you looked down at the floor, fidgeting with your hands as you worked up to the courage to do or say something. The consideration to return to the couch won and you scurried back to sit and go back to your show.

A while later, the smell of food filled your nose, and a plate was held before you. Your eyes trailed up the muscular arm to meet Leon’s gaze as you took it from him. “Thank you…and hey look about earlier, I’m sorry.”

He sat next to you on the couch, his entire posture more relaxed than earlier. Setting his own plate down on the coffee table, and leaned back, one arm slung casually over the back of the couch. “Don’t even worry about it. It’s over with.” You nodded, taking a small bite of the pasta you twirled up on your fork. The silence lingering over the both of you made you feel heavy. Against your better judgment, you looked over to him and prodded. “Can I ask who she was?” He looked a little short circuited as he processed the question, like he was deciding what the right answer was. “An ex.”  “Oh.” “Let’s just say things didn’t end on good terms. I don’t really want to talk about it.” “Right, I’m sorry.”  “Don’t be. You didn’t know.” He leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before grabbing his plate to eat himself. “You know.” He added, “It’s still early enough in the day. I was thinking we should still get out of the house.” “Sure. Did you have something in mind?” “Yeah, a surprise.” He added with a big smirk.  You couldn’t help but match his smile, the corners of your mouth tugging up instinctively. “Sounds good.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the late afternoon, nearly early evening when you found yourself out by the lake. There was a small dirt path that led from the backyard and down through the woods. It had opened up to a small clearing by the water, some crude seating and a stone-campfire set up already there. 

Initially there was trepidation on your part, worried that the site of the woods might stir some of those bad memories up. He managed to convince you though, promising to take you back the moment you became uncomfortable if you wanted. 

So far things were ok. The last of the warm sun beat down onto your back as you laid out on the soft towel beneath you. It was refreshing and relaxing – it’d been so long since you’d had that full sense of pure normalcy and relief.  Arms crossed under your head, you watched Leon as waded through the shallower part of the water. He stopped when the water landed just below his navel, looking out towards the trees behind you. 

Your eyes ran from the dusty blonde happy trail upwards, over his abs and to his pecs, before finally landing on his eyes. The way the warm tones of the sunset casted down onto him, made him look beautiful, like he belonged in a painting. The blonde in his hair was contrasted by the different shades of purple and orange that lit his right side. Before the light of the day was finally gone, you wanted to get closer – see if it did wonders for the pools of blue in his eyes. 

Stretching out like a cat, you languidly crawled to your feet, wading into the cool water. A slight hiss escaped you at the abrupt change in temperature, but you continued forward until you reached him.  “Well hello there.” He looked down at you running his wet thumb over your collar bone slightly. “Almost thought you were sleeping over there.” “Almost was.” You confirmed. “But that was before I realized there was a view to admire.” This moment felt familiar, safe.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re not talking about the lake?” That damn smirk again, got you every time. Your theory was right too, the specks and hues of blue stood out under his thick eyelashes as he looked down at you. He was gorgeous. So very Leon.  “Well maybe that’s because I’m not.” Placing a hand on his chest, you moved a little closer to him. 

“You’re not talkin’ about me are you?” “I just might be.” Leaning real close, you nearly stood on your tip toes, lips so close you could feel his breath gently fanning your face. You could see what he was expecting as his lips twitched. Unfortunately for him you broke the tension by splashing some water on him, your own smile twisting into an amused smirk.  “You play dirty.” He accused, splashing back at you. “Get back over here coward.” He said playfully, following you as you cowered back to shore to avoid his onslaught of water, stopping every now and then to launch a counter attack. 

Your back hit the soft sand of the shore, him on top of you, elbows on either side of your head. You couldn’t help but laugh at the cheesy exchange, genuine happiness rumbling in your chest. “Very cute, sweetheart.”  “I’d like to think so.” 

Again you were close, face to face, but it was his turn to deny you. He pushed himself up and out of the water. “It’ll be dark soon. You want to go back?” Pondering the question for a moment, you shook your head. “Not yet. I’m having a good time.” “Glad to hear it.” Digging around through the bag he’d brought out with the both of you, he pulled out a zippo lighter and some bundle of what almost looked like tumbleweed tied together. He held the small flame to the fire starter before tossing it into the bundle of wood that had been left in the fire pit. 

Everything was fine at first until the licking flames picked up intensity, the entirety of the pit filling with the dancing orange and yellow lights – high enough for the heat of the flame to slap against your face. A tightness in your chest formed, freezing you in place like a statue. Your throat dried and contracted like trying to breath in dust.  

“My head. It’s splitting my head.” Your head turned side to side, scanning for the source of the voice. The world around you black besides the flames. 

“IT’S SPLITTING MY HEAD!”

The words were so loud it was like a flashbang against your ears, brain rattling in your head. You couldn’t focus on anything, the hazy colors before your eyes turning into a kaleidoscope from the water forming in your eyes.  “IT’S SPLITTING MY HEAD!”

You couldn’t breathe at all now, gasping desperately for air. Every time you blinked a shadowy figure moved in the fire, a tentacle-like outline whipped about above it. ‘Leon. Leon please I’m scared.’ You couldn’t get the words to vocalize out of your mouth, trapped in your throat. 

“Sweetheart?” Leon’s voice whispered in your ear, two large arms snaking around you from behind to hold you close. “It’s ok. Breathe baby.” He cooed. You squeezed your eyes shut, gulping down as much air as you could. “There you go. There you go.” You did it a second time, and a third, until your breathing evened out and you could ground yourself where you stood. The heat of his torso was pressed against your back, the weighted feelings of his arms. “I’m right here. You’re safe.” 

When you dared to crack your eyes open again, the world was normal. No shadowy blackness, no bleak figure, just the fire crackling in front of you. The trees swishing back and forth, lit up by the twinkling stars and moon, sun having fully set. And of course, Leon. You spun in his arms, wrapping your own around him, he tightened the hug holding you close. “God I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry…I….god.” “Shhh. Shhhh.” He rubbed your back softly. “Why don’t we head back?” “No!” You snapped, looking up at him. “No, I don’t want to go back yet.” He flashed you a confused look, opening to say something, but you cut him off. “Please. I was having such a good time. I’m sick of being crazy. I…it was just one incident. I don’t want to go yet.” “Ok.” He agreed. “Ok, we won’t go yet.” Conceding his tucked some of your hair behind your ear again, clearly still concerned, but not pushing it. 

You plopped down onto the towel, facing the fire. No more threatening images for the time being. The two of you sat in silence, his hand over yours on the ground. It took a while for your heart rate to fully go back to normal, for the feeling of being on edge to fully dissipate, but once it did you felt like you were floating, just sitting next to him – like his hand was an anchor and without it you’d just drift away into the vast emptiness of the sky. You didn’t deserve him but  God you were sure you loved him – the first time you could admit it even inside your own thoughts. It was freeing. No guilt or shame attached, just the gooey feeling of contentment.

 “Leon?” “Hmm?” “Thank you. For all of this.” “Don’t mention it.” “I mean it.” “I know.” He lifted your hand to his mouth, kissing it gently.  “I like you.” He let out a soft chuckle against your knuckles. “Well geez, I’d hope so. I like you too.” 

It felt a little pathetic to announce yourself that way. “Can I ask you something?” “Shoot.”  “What are we?” 

He looked up to meet your gaze, his expression soft but serious. You watched Adam's apple flex as he swallowed nothing, analyzing the question. “What do you want us to be?” “Maybe more than friends?” You offered a non-absolute answer, nervous of any true rejection.  “I think we already are more than friends.” “Well yeah, true.” You tapered the conversation off, not brave enough to ask for more definitives just yet.

He dropped your hand in favor of scooting closer to you, wrapping his arm around you to pull you onto his lap. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re really feeling.”  “Why are you so perfect?” Your words were barely above a whisper as you slunk your arms around his shoulders.  “Far from it, actually.”  “Disagree. God I disagree.” His retort stopped dead when you blurted out the next words so quickly they shocked even yourself. “I think I love you.” You’re not sure you’d even seen him with such a deer in the headlights expression on his face before, it made you feel the urge to backtrack, suck the words right back in. “I’m sorr –” He pressed his lips against yours, silencing any apology. Your heart skipped a beat, blood feeling boiling hot each time it pumped through you. You returned the kiss this time, softly, slowly. It wasn’t like the quick passion at his apartment. “Can I have you?” You whispered into his neck, kissing at his pulse.  “I’m already yours.”  You responded by nipping at that same spot. “Take me?” 

He sucked in a breath at the sensation, squeezing you a little tighter to him. You could feel his cock twitch in his swim shorts. “Are you sure?” His voice was low. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable again, move too fast.”

“I’m sure this time. Very sure. Please, I just want you.” 

He pulled you back from him just enough to scan your face, giving you one more moment to back out. When you didn’t say anything else, he kissed you again, this time leaning forward with you until you were laying on your back. His lips were as soft and plush as you remembered them, making you want more. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” He asked, mouthing more kisses along your neck and chest. He made quick work of your bathing suit top, sliding the straps out of their tied knot and tossing it gently to the side. Arousal mixed with the light breeze blowing the warmth of the fire past you made your nipples perk up, sensitive as ever. It didn’t go unnoticed by him as he took the opportunity to run his tongue along your collarbone before following down the center of your chest. The trail of saliva left behind drying in the outside air making your skin tingle in the best possible way. 

He pressed another kiss to the side of your right breast before he teased your nipple, flicking it with licks of his tongue a few times before sucking it into his mouth. The sensation made you squirm beneath him, thighs squeezing together around his leg that was planted between them. By the time he’d moved on to your other tit, you were rubbing yourself against his leg for some relief. He chuckled, popping off with a smile. “So needy baby. Must’ve been pent up these last few months.” “Mhmm” You nodded, eyes already hazed over with lust, mind empty of any critical thought.  “Don’t worry, I’ll make you feel really good. Scouts honor.” He punctuated the sentence by moving down to nip  at your hip making you buck up a little. Amused by the reaction he did it again, this time on the plushness of your inner thigh while he worked the ties of your bottoms off as well, discarding them with the top. He returned to what he was doing, this time sucking a bruise into the soft skin. Then another, each one a pleasurably dull kind of pain. He flattened his tongue to each one, helping soothe out the pain. “Purple’s really your color baby.” He cooed, admiring his work. 

Your clit throbbed with need, hole begging for attention. He rested one hand on your hip, rubbing soft circles into it as he continued to tease you, pressing a kiss to your mound, another on the opposing thigh. “Leon.” You whined. “Please I need more.”  “I know, I know. I’m getting there sweetheart. Just wanna take my time, been imagining this for so long.” He rewarded your please by dragging the tip of his tongue down before flattening it against your clit, lapping at it gently. The sugary heat radiated out as you moaned, fingers working their way into his soft hair, gripping at it. 

It should’ve been no surprise Leon was good with his mouth, circling your bundle of nerves with his tongue before sucking on it gently. You’re not sure you’d ever had a lover so attentive before, not even in your false memories. “F-fuck, so good.” You closed your eyes, focusing on nothing but the pleasure he was giving you. You felt him sink a digit into your slicked pussy. It wasn’t enough, but it was better than the nothing that was there before. He added another finger, pumping them as he worked your clit with his tongue. 

He curled his thick fingers just right, reaching that special spot inside of you. The one that made your legs tense, clit pulse. What blood was left in your head soared to your lower half, a weak gasp escaping your mouth as you came. Your legs trembled around his head, thighs clamping shut, you’d almost be worried about crushing him if you were capable of thought. He continued to gently work you, not enough to overstimulate, but the perfect amount to draw out that pleasure until it faded to just tingles at the tips of your toes.

You were left breathless, panting as he pulled away, wiping his chin off on the back of his hand. Your eyes landed on the now fully formed tent in his shorts, expecting him to move to get it out, to fuck you into the ground. Instead, he leans back on his legs, looks down at you. The silence feels strange, and you're suddenly reminded of your location – outdoors – as the crickets pick up their chirping, the leaves of the trees crash into each other from the wind. You shiver from the breeze, until it blows in the opposite direction, sending a wave of heat from the campfire washing over you.  When he still doesn’t move, you quickly become self conscious, scared that he was changing his mind. Worry takes over your face as you prop yourself up on your elbows, before you can say it, he leans down to kiss you again. This time he  makes a point to slip his tongue into it, letting you taste yourself on him. He wraps his arm around you, holding your head in place to kiss you sloppily. He grinds against you slightly, groaning into the kiss when he does. “Don’t worry princess. I just needed to take a moment after that. Was too good, so perfect, had to take it in.” He knew you so well.  “Want you.” You mumbled against his lips. “Want you in me, wanna feel you. Wanna be close.”  “I know.” He said, reaching his hand down between you both to undo the drawstring of his shorts. He tugged them down just enough to free his erection, thick and throbbing. You couldn’t see it perfectly in the deep shadows that the fire made, but you could feel it. He ran the head along your slit a few times. “Can tell how bad you want me, she’s practically crying for me.” 

You suck in a breath at his words, feeling arousal begin to twinge between your legs again. He gently pushed the tip into your soaking folds, the stretch stinging slightly despite his earlier actions. “Oh.” You gasped as he pressed each inch slowly into you. You’d never felt so full before, like he was in your ribs – it was overwhelming and comforting at the same time. “O-oh.” You moaned, feeling him pull out again, grasping up at his shoulders.

He gave a few more slow but deep thrusts, giving you the chance to adjust and accommodate him. “That’s it baby, so tight.” He flattened his palm against your belly, pressing down making the full feeling intensify. Your back arched into his palm, adding to the sensation.  “S’big.” You whined.   “Mhmm. Just relax, you’re doing such a good job. Already taking me so well.” He readjusted your position, leaning forward and pulling your legs up at the same time to hook over his shoulders. The shift made him feel even deeper inside of you, head of his cock pushing against your cervix with each thrust. 

You didn’t even know you were this flexible when he practically folded you in half while he fucked himself into you, making sure he was close enough to pepper your face with small kisses when given the opportunity. You heard him mumbling sweet compliments between his increasingly erratic breathing, but you were too blissed out to even register the words.  “God….god…oh my god!” You squeezed the towel beneath you,, bunching it within your fists as he continued to roll his hips against you, wiry blond hair and his pubic bone bumping into your clit as his cock rubbed past that spongy spot, more sensitive now from your first orgasm.  “That’s my girl.” He sped up his pace, the sound of skin slapping mixing with the cackle of the fire as you moved from death-gripping the towel to clawing at his back, desperate for your next release, desperate to be as close as possible to him. “My pretty Bunny.” 

The pet name clicked something in your brain, and you lost yourself again, muscles tensing velvety walls tightening around his impossibly big cock as you came again. His own eyes closed, a bead of sweat dripped from his forehead to between your breasts, his own quiet noises picking up in volume, his pace erratic as he chased his own high this time. Pulsing with the aftershocks of your second orgasm, you could feel as he throbbed within you, painting your inside white with his hot seed.  Half asleep and sated, you let out a noise of disappointment when he finally pulled out, wanting to stay as close as you could to him. As if he could read your mind, he immediately pulled you into his embrace, rubbing his hand against your stomach as he spooned you from behind. 

The visual of the campfire became blurry the heavier your eyelids grew, and it wasn’t long until you were out like a light, curled against him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up some time later, scrunched up in bed. It was still dark out when you sat up to rub your eyes and yawn. You didn’t remember the journey back but you weren’t surprised Leon had managed that, likely carrying you back in your sleep. If not for your dry throat and desperate need for a glass of water, you’d have flopped right back down to resume your unconsciousness. 

Instead, you pushed your legs over the side of the bed, still a little wobbly and exhausted. In your half asleep state it took you an extra minute to register the fact that Leon hadn’t been next to you. “S’weird.” You muttered to yourself, sluggishly moving towards the door and down the hallway.  The house was dark, no light to be seen, not even from the bathroom – which you noted was open, no Leon inside. As you took a few steps down the staircase, you could see from above the living room was also dark and silent, not even the TV’s screensaver was on, and the only light emanating from the kitchen was the small light above the stove. 

A more awake version of yourself would’ve been a little more worried with his whereabouts, but for now you only had one mission – water. The moment the tap finished filling up the glass cup, you gulped it down, and then another. Soothing the cottony feeling in your mouth and the soreness of your throat. 

Relieved and quenched, you exited the kitchen heading back to bed. Though still tired, you were slightly more alert now, rubbing at your eyes again while you walked. Passing the double doors to the library room, you heard Leon’s voice, and it stopped you in your tracks.  “I miss you.”  “Huh?” The words caught your attention instantly. One of the double french doors was cracked enough that you could peer through without much effort. While the initial reaction had been jealousy, the fear he was talking to another woman on the phone, you were left dumbfounded by the reality.  He was sitting at the desk, the red jacket in his hands as he spoke. “You know I didn’t want things to end this way. I thought you were perfect for me. We could’ve been so great together.” He brought the jacket to his face, taking in a deep inhale of it, holding his breath before finally exhaling. “I blame it on him, putting those awful thoughts in your head. Tearing you away from me.” His grip on the jacket tightened so much you could see the vein in his arm flex even with just the dim lamp on the desk and the distance between you. 

‘What the hell?’ You weren’t sure what to make of what you were witnessing, but you knew it didn’t sit right with you. It was just…weird.

“I wish you didn’t force me to end things. But it’s alright, I’ve moved on. I know you’d be happy for me.” He spit onto his hand, moving it beneath the desk. A whimper left his mouth, needier, different from how he sounded above you. Wet schlicking noises told you exactly what he was doing as he sniffed the jacket again. “You both wear the same perfume. Love it so much.” He added between grunts. “God. Might take me a minute baby. Already blew a load earlier.” The sounds picked up speed.

It felt wrong to keep watching, whatever was happening was a clearly intimate moment you didn’t belong a part of. You took the opportunity to gently back away from the door, and as quietly as you could made it back up to the bedroom, pulling the thick blanket over your head, like a child fending off the boogie man.  “What. The. Fuck.” You whispered to yourself. It left you with a million questions you weren’t completely sure you wanted answers to. An amalgamation of emotions swirled in your head, confusion, worry, jealousy? You knew the jacket smelled like your perfume, but the confirmation as he jerked it to his ex made you shudder. “Gross.”

Your sleepiness had worn off, leaving you to lay awake with your thoughts. It wasn’t long after that the bedroom door creaked open, the sound of soft padding across the floor was heard before the weight of the bed sunk in behind you. Leon’s arm wasn’t comforting as it wrapped around you this time, it felt more like a weight forcing you in place. You wanted to pretend you were asleep, but the claustrophobic feeling was too much making you move a little on instinct.  “Why were you downstairs?” 

The question made the hair on your neck stand up despite his warm breath. “I needed some water.” “Mmmm, you going to lie to me now?” “What? I’m not –” “I know you were watching.” His grip around you tightened, squeezing you against him. It felt threatening in a way you couldn’t explain. “I didn’t mean to.” “It's not polite to stare.” 

“I know.”  “What were you doing downstairs?” “I told you I was just getting a drink.” “Then why were you watching?” “I heard your voice. I didn’t know where you were. I’m sorry.” Tears formed quicker than you expected. He sat up slightly, rolling you to face him. His hand gripped your jaw slightly, you could barely make out his figure in the dark room. He pressed his lips to yours. “Don’t let me catch you spying again.” 

“I’m sorry.”  He didn’t reply, instead laying back down, pulling you against his chest. He rubbed your back like he normally did when you fell asleep, but no comfort came from it. The whole thing had you wigged out, bad. 

“Leon?” “Hmm?” “Is there any way we could head back tomorrow?” “We have a whole trip planned.” “I know. I just wanted to get my phone, I’ve been feeling weird without it.” You let out an awkward laugh, hoping to play it off. Really though you were desperate to be closer to other people.  “Sorry I’m not good enough company.” You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. “No really. It’s nothing to do with you. Please, we can come back, I just really want to get it.” “No.” It was so firm it threw you off completely.  “But Leon that’s not f–”

“Leon –” “I said no. I’m not driving you hours there and back, wasting gas because you forgot your phone. You don’t even need it.” “It’s not about needing it. I’d just feel more comfortable if I had it.”

“We’ll talk about this tomorrow.” “I don’t want to talk about it tomorrow, I just want to go home and grab it.”  “I already said, no.” You yanked yourself away from his space, to the other side of the bed, flicking the lamp on. You can’t remember ever actually having argued with him before, at least not in a true capacity. “You’re making me uncomfortable.” “You’re being ungrateful.” 

His words sliced you like a knife, you frowned. “I’m not –” “You are.” “I want to go home. I don’t want to stay here anymore. You can’t just keep me here if I don't want to be.” “Sweetheart –” “No, I’m serious Leon. I’m not staying. I don’t know what’s up with this weird thing you have with your ex, or anything else. But I don’t want to be here anymore. I need to go home. I need space.” He clicked his tongue, sitting up. “We both know that you don’t know what you need. Just come back to bed.”

Resistant, you stood out of the bed staring down at him, face red with anger and upset. “No. Take me home right now.”  He didn’t respond immediately, scanning you with his eyes. “Sweetheart, you’re not going anywhere. Not tonight. Not tomorrow either.” “I –” He was making you so frustrated. “If you don’t take me home, then I’ll figure out a way home myself.” “No, you won’t.” He threw his own legs over the side of the bed, righting himself. When he turned to face you, you felt cornered. To combat the feeling you sidestepped closer to the bedroom door. “Stop.” You said, putting your hand out in front of you, palm open fingers spread out as if that would magically keep him distanced from you. “Stay there.” “Baby.” He said unamused.  “I mean it.” “What’s gotten into you?”  “I told you. You’re making me uncomfortable.” His brows came together as if he was considering what you were saying. You took the opportunity to back up from the door into the hallway. “I think you’re having an episode. I think you need to calm down.” ‘The fucking audacity.’ You thought to yourself taking another step back. Lightning lit up the hallway from the window, the boom of thunder following close behind. Rain pattered against the windows as silence took over the situation between you. He didn’t move from where he was standing in the bedroom, you didn’t move from where your feet were planted in the hallway.

“Please come back to bed?” His voice was soft now, pleading. “I’m really not sure why you’re acting this way right now. But I’m concerned about you. I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable, just come back ok?” He reached his hand out gently, as if he were taming a wild animal – the only result was you taking a step back. 

Defiantly you shook your head.  “Sweetie.”

You took another step back. He sighed, taking a step forward. You felt sick somehow, legs telling you to run again, run before he did something. Run before you’d be stuck just like in the woods. Fear you couldn’t explain. You knew you were being dramatic. It was Leon, there was no reason to be this on edge, even despite the weirdness of the evening, but your nerves told you differently.  “Are you going to take me home?” “No baby.” 

That was it, you bolted as fast as you could, feet skittering across the polished wooden floorboards. If you hadn’t used the bannister, you’d have face planted with the quickness you used to get down the stairs, missing the last few steps entirely. There was no immediate sound of movement behind you, at least none you could hear through your own pulse thrumming in your ears. You tore through the living room looking for a home phone, his cell, anything.  Finally his flat steps were heard coming down the stairs

Your search came up empty. You knew there was nothing in the kitchen. Nervously you slid into the library, slamming the double doors shut and clicking the little turn locks on the inside knobs, just in time for him to be on the other side, gently twisting the knobs.  “Baby, just come out here.” 

“No.” You said weakly, looking around the room. The laptop was no longer on the desk, but you did see his keys tossed on the corner of it. With a shaky hand, you reached out and picked them up, tucking the fob into your palm, the metal part sticking out between two fingers as a defensive weapon. He stopped attempting to twist the knobs and instead knocked gently. “Why don’t you take a minute to calm down?”  “No.” You repeated again, looking for a way out.  “You’re not acting rational.” He added.

There were no other connecting doors besides the ones leading out into the living room area, and you knew you couldn’t make it past Leon that way. The windows to the office were large, missing screens like with most old homes. It wouldn’t take much to slip through one – ‘but which of us would make it out to the jeep first?’ 

“Just leave me alone!” You yelled back at him, clicking the little latch on the window sill. You waited for the next crack of thunder to make the move. Despite the old wood, the window lifted easily, giving you a view to the patio.  “I can’t do that. You know that.” He replied, seemingly unaware of your plan.

You went out leg first, making sure the key was tight in your fist. Rain was beating down on the ground so hard the yard had practically been rendered all mud, running through it barefoot was going to be a challenge. ‘Just get to the jeep. Just get to the jeep’ You repeated in your head, stepping out into the disgustingly wet dirt, cringing when it mushed between your toes. 

Without a second thought, you took off running towards the front of the house, feet slapping into the wet surface of the ground, tshirt and hair soaked in the rain. You tripped over a rock, tumbling flatly splashing up grass and more mud into your face and torso. Not giving up, you righted yourself completely, half falling again as you ran to the car.  By this point Leon had already figured out your plan, the front door of the house slamming open. You looked back only long enough to see him walking towards you as you grabbed the door handle to pull yourself back up and over into the driver's seat. Trembling, you dropped the keys trying to get them into the ignition. “Shit. Shit.” You felt around on the floor, grabbing hold of them again, this time successfully managing to stick them in the ignition and turning the jeep on. 

“You’re being so dramatic right now.” He called out, halfway to you. “You’re acting terrified. Just come back inside.” You shook your head, pulling the gearshift out of the parked position and into reverse, careful to not let it slip in your shaking and wet state. Slamming the gas pedal didn’t go in your favor, instead of moving, the vehicle roared in place, tires spinning against the soft earth, mud flying about, some flinging backwards smacking into you.  “No…no…shit no..” You squeaked, slamming down on the pedal harder, turning the wheel. It still wouldn’t budge, mud and grass going everywhere in the rain. You tried putting it into drive, the whole vehicle lunged forward an inch before getting stuck again. “Come on. Come on.” You begged the universe. Too focused on the jeep, you had lost focus of Leon.  The door opened and he reached over you, pulling the keys out and tossing them into the passenger seat floor somewhere. You went to dive for them when he scooped you up instead, holding you tightly as you kicked and squirmed, clawing at him to get out of his grasp. He didn’t speak, but held firm as he made his way back inside with you, depositing you onto the floor of the entranceway. 

You stared up at him, trying to scoot back. There was a claw mark on his face from your nails, a little blood beading up there, a matching one on his shoulder. He knelt down to look at you, face full of concern. He cupped your cheeks in his hands, stopping your movement. “Good god baby, look at you. I mean really, look at you. This isn’t what a sane person would do.” His voice was so sickly sweet, it made you choke out a sob.  “Y-you scared me – I.” “I scared you? Baby I’m bleeding because of you. You tried to steal my car. You’re soaked, covered in mud….God baby, see this is exactly why I had to bring you out here. Could you imagine what would happen if you acted like this in front of other people?” “But I –” You looked into his eyes, then at the stripe of blood on his cheek. You looked around, then down at your mud covered body. You felt pathetic. He was right, this was ridiculous, you were ridiculous. “I’m sorry Leon.” You said, face scrunching up into an ugly cry. Like a toddler you sat in front of him sobbing, soaking wet. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

“Shhh. Shhh.” He hushed you, one hand leaving your cheek. You felt the sting of something in your side, but were hazy before you could even register anything. 

You managed one more snotty sob before your vision was spotty, head becoming harder and harder to hold up – then the relaxing tug of unconsciousness overtook you.

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter

Tag List (if i forgot anyone I'm sorry ): @explorevenus @gigabyte-flare @okayiamkassandra @fouyumixuri @yumeneji @dollfacefantasy @elfven-blog @kaitkatme @tosuckmyweenis

[gyustarzzi]

ateez reacts to sleeping together for the first time

☆ hongjoong

just got home from a concert and since it was getting late so he decided to stay at your place

when you tell him that you guys have to sleep together he gets nervous

stares into space which makes you nervous as well

when you guys go to sleep he keeps a safe distance away from you

stays up at unholy hours talking about anything that comes to mind

the next day you guys are wrapped around eachother not lettting go

" We have to sleep together? No! It's not a problem, it's just…I've never done this before "

★ seonghwa

got home from a long day of dance practice so you stay at his place

is kinda nervous but is a little happy to have you with him tonight

cooks you dinner which you tell him it is not necessary but he insists

one step ahead of you and has everything you need: clothes, toothbrush, bodywash, etc.

you sleep in his bed and he sleeps on the couch

ends up with you coming to him and sleeping with him on the couch cuddling

won't let you go home if you guys leave somewhere late

" I guess you couldn't resist my charm princess/prince "

☆ yunho

you and yunho went on a date and ended up staying at the beach a little too long

you stay at his place and change into his clothes

asks if it's okay to sleep with you in the same bed

ABSOLUTE CUDDLE BUG

watch harry potter if you guys stay up later than you expected

you wake up on his chest and your arms and legs wrapped around him not letting go

" You have no idea how happy it makes me to see you in my clothes, your so cute!! "

★ yeosang

he stays at your house late after a party with the other members

nervous because he doesn't want to make you uncomfortable in anyway

keeps a safe distance away from you but once you start scooting closer to him the more he's scooting closer to you

plays with your hair, you leg over his side

falls asleep to your soft snore and kisses your cheek

wakes up with him caressing you back to sooth you in your sleep

" Are you sure it's okay if we sleep together? You sure? Ok, I just wanna make sure your not uncomfortable "

☆ san

sets up a sleepover with you and forces to comeover to his place

quick stops at the store to grab snacks and more snacks

makes a fort with you, which you guys cuddle in obvi ;)

watches many funny movies and k-drama's

places with your fingers (entwining fingers)

kisses you on the forehead before falling asleep

" This is gonna be the best fort ever!! "

★ mingi

you were hanging out with mingi at ateez's dorms

you guys were watching a movie and you fell asleep halftway through it

plops you on his bed and puts on one of his hoodies

since it was already dark, mingi decided you would stay the night with him

you snuggled under his hoodie that he was wearing while sleeping -  wakes up to mingi taking cute pictures of you

" What? I can't take pictures of this moment? You look absolutely adorable!! "

☆ wooyoung

takes you home from a party

let's you change into his clothes in the bathroom before he takes a shower

cuddles with you in the bed, occasionally running his fingers through your hair

pulls you closer to him when he feels needy

when you wake up in the middle of the night he gets super bubbly and kisses you

helps you with whatever you need since your still overcoming your hangover

" You might have kicked me a few times, but it was definitely worth it"

★ jongho

comes home from a fun day with the members

freezes when you ask if you can stay at his place for the night

since he sometimes leaves his clothes at your house so you alreayd had some clothes to wear that night :D

lets you rest on his arm/chest obvi (HE'S BASICALLY YOUR PERSONAL PILLOW)

wakes up to you basically being squeezed to death by him

" Hm? You want to sleep together? No! It's no big deal "

[bratzforchris]

can you do one where chris has a gf who gets psychogenic fevers? thank you!

Masking

Summary: Autistic masking takes a lot out of you and leads to you running a psychogenic fever, but luckily for you, Chris is always right by your side to help you<3

Pairing: Chris x neurodivergentfem!reader

Warnings: Mentions of masking, autistic meltdown

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: Thank you for the request! I actually experience psychogenic fevers myself (related to masking and burnout), so this was a very self-indulgent request :) For those of you that don't know, psychogenic fevers are stress related and psychosomatic. You can read this article for more info<3 Hate/ableism/etc will be blocked and deleted ♡ Enjoy!!

There were very few parts, if any, of your relationship with Chris that you didn’t like. Everything was absolutely perfect. Your boyfriend spoiled you rotten, taking great care to make sure you were okay physically, mentally, and emotionally, and always made sure to both accommodate and help you accommodate your disability. Chris never made you feel wrong, bad, or different for the way your brain worked. Quite the opposite, actually. However, there were things that even he couldn’t control for you. 

Like today, for example. The morning had started off rather rocky, with Matt unintentionally finishing off the milk before you’d had your bowl of cereal. Frosted Flakes was one of your safe foods, and not being able to have them, along with getting out of your routine, had left you teary-eyed and anxious. The middle triplet had apologized profusely, and although you forgave him immediately, it still put you out of whack. Then, instead of your usual afternoon snuggle and stim time with Chris, you’d both been running around the house getting ready for the movie premiere the trio had been invited to this evening. 

All of those events had led you to now, standing off in the corner of the ballroom that had been used for the afterparty, nursing a sweating glass of Sprite. You adored being Chris’ girlfriend, but sometimes all the things you had to attend as a plus one became exhausting, especially when you had to mask around all the people you didn’t know. You’d been suppressing your stimming all evening, as well as small talking with a variety of people without Chris by your side, and it was beginning to wear on you. You shivered, setting your drink down on a nearby tray and rubbing your arms, both as a stim and to warm yourself up. You supposed it was the thin, silky slip dress you had on, but for some reason you felt awfully cold. 

In the wake of trying to warm yourself up, you hadn’t even noticed Chris appear by your side. “Hey ma,” he smiled, sipping his own drink. “I’ve barely seen you all night.”

You hummed softly, still trying to warm yourself up. “Is your jacket in the car?” You asked softly, wincing at the ache in your joints. 

Chris studied you for a moment, assessing your quiet voice and shaking frame. “Are you okay? You’re not looking too good…” After being with you for nearly two years, your boyfriend could practically read you like a book, always being in tune with your moods and feelings. He also knew that you experienced psychogenic fevers, and that the lack of routine, as well as masking around a large group, probably wasn’t doing you any favors. 

“I’m cold,” You mumbled. “I feel like I’m getting the flu or something but I don’t have a stuffy nose or anything.” 

Had you been able to think more clearly, you would’ve realized that you were currently going through what was unfortunately a pretty common experience for you. You had started experiencing psychogenic fevers in high school, once the stress, combined with being neurodivergent, kicked in. They were usually low grade fevers and body aches that would come on during the night due to stress and anxiety and then be gone by the next morning, but they made you feel awful nonetheless.

Chris ran his thumb across your cheek softly, noting how you leaned into his touch like he was the last source of warmth on earth. “D’ya wanna go home, ma?” he asked gently. “You’ve got a fever, babe.”

You looked up at your boyfriend as tears collected on your lash line. “Oh…I guess I should’ve realized…” You mumbled, the thought of why you were feeling terrible finally kicking in. “We don’t have to go, though. I’ll be alright. Enjoy the party.” You tried to smile, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. 

“Sweetheart, there’s no way I’m gonna let you just sit here all stressed and burning up. This party’s shit, anyway. Stay here, ‘kay? I’m gonna go get Matt and Nick.”

You felt your heart swell as you watched Chris walk away. Despite his assurance, you knew how much your boyfriend loved parties, and the fact that he was willingly leaving one for you made you want to cry. You curled into yourself as much as possible on the small couch next to you while you waited for the triplets. All you wanted at this point was a hot bath and for Chris to hold you. 

⊹ ࣪ ˖

The next thing you knew, Chris was gently shaking your shoulder, brushing your bangs off your forehead. “Ma, come on, honey. We’re going home.”

You sleepily blinked open your eyes, realizing you had fallen asleep in the time it had taken for Chris to find Matt and Nick. “Oh…I didn’t realize I had fallen asleep.”

Chris smiled softly, while Nick looked on worriedly. “Matt’s getting the car.” he explained at your confusion to only seeing two-thirds of the triplets. 

Your boyfriend helped you up gently, leading you by the arm towards the exit while Nick shielded you from onlookers’ eyes protectively. Had Chris had his choice, he would’ve carried you, but he didn’t want to completely embarrass you, nor did he want photos of you not feeling well circling around social media. You shivered when the three of you stepped out into the cool night air, whimpering softly. 

Chris helped you into the car, where Matt was idling at the curb. You immediately grabbed his hoodie from the front seat, pulling it over your shaking frame. “I’m cold.” You whispered. 

Your boyfriend caressed you in a tight hug as well as he could with his own seatbelt, holding you close so that you could feel his body heat as Matt sped home. By the time the car had pulled up outside of your shared LA home, you were practically asleep, your aches and pains making you miserable. Chris gently shuffled you inside, leading you upstairs to the bedroom.

“Do you want a hot shower, ma?” he asked you softly, helping you remove your earrings and necklaces. 

You shook your head, feeling too fatigued to do much else other than cuddle under the covers. Chris seemed to understand, continuing to help you undress with a soft smile on his face. In his eyes, you always looked like a goddess, no matter how sick or tired you felt. You sighed softly once you were dressed in a much more comfortable outfit that consisted of one of your boyfriend’s soft, big shirts and some cozy pajama pants. 

The brunette kissed your forehead with a soft ‘be right back’ as you snuggled up under your soft duvet. You laid across Chris’ pillow while you waited, breathing in his soft, boyish scent. Before you knew it, your boyfriend returned with a handful of medical supplies in one arm and a warm, wet rag in the other. Chris used the washcloth to gently remove your makeup, pressing kisses to your fevered skin as he did so. 

“Do you know what brought this on?” Chris whispered gently, sitting beside you. 

He had a pretty good idea of what had brought on this stress-induced fever, but he wanted to give you a chance to voice your feelings first. You rolled over, sniffling softly and pressing your face into his thigh as you tried to voice your concerns. Despite being home and in bed, you still felt the stress of being out of your routine and masking wearing on you. 

“Not right now? I’m too tired…” You mumbled, a sniffle escaping you. 

“Okay, ma. That’s okay. Let’s take your temperature, okay?” Chris gently grabbed the thermometer off the nightstand, gently sticking it under your tongue while he caressed your cheek. “100.3 (37.9 C). Not too bad, but enough to make you pretty miserable, huh?”

You just nodded sadly as Chris passed you some Tylenol and a water bottle. You downed the medicine quickly, shuddering at the bitter taste in your mouth. Your boyfriend easily helped you lay back down, pulling you into his chest as he spooned you. Instead of focusing on the pain you felt, you snuggled into Chris, realizing that this was the routine you had been craving all day. 

You and Chris would always spoon at night before you went to bed, talking about everything and nothing while huddled up under the weighted blanket that had been placed on the bed at your request. Tonight, Chris didn’t pressure you to speak. Instead, he mumbled little things about how strong and beautiful you were, how he hoped you felt better soon, and how much he adored you while he traced little shapes onto the soft skin of your arm. 

Despite your pain, you felt yourself becoming less tense. You knew your fever probably wouldn’t go away until tomorrow morning, and that you would need lots of routine and special interest time to get yourself back to fully normal, but for now, you enjoyed the brunette's soft hold, relishing the way it made your body feel perfectly aligned after a day of overwhelm. 

It was much easier for you to fall asleep than you had anticipated, the combination of Chris’ snuggles and the medicine working its magic lulling you to sleep. By the time you woke up the next morning, your temperature was back to normal and you made sure to shower your lovely boyfriend with affection for what a great nurse he had been. 

tags ♡: @jake-and-johnnies-slut @chrissfavwh3re @suyqa @chrissturnswife @mbsbaby @herxysc-blog @lovingchrissposts @caffeinatedscorpio @spencereidenthusiast @crazychrisl0v3r @sturnioloxlver @whicked-hazlatwhore @blahbel668 @sturncakez @junnniiieee07 @biggesthat3r @sturniolowhore @patscorner @julesgrl @0strawberrysorbet0 @strombolilovr @matt444nixi @remussbitch @devthepoet1221 @mattyblover07 @loisnotaa @mollyquinnxoxo @graysturns @pepsicolapussy333 @ginswife @emmagirouard @athaliahxoxo @bitchydragonparadise @ilydeaky @soggyslugg169 @m00n-0n-paws @books0fever @stingerayyy2 @sunsetsturniolos @mimi-luvzyu @raysmayhem-72 @faygo-frog @oobleoob @billsslutt @aemrsy

note ♡: if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here <3

[starb3rrys]

I just saw Sleeping Together Hcs and AHGZICZGFI, so I'd like to request a part 2 with Jouno and anyone else you like to add if you want to. Bc the first is SOOO CUTEEEE >.<

Hello!! Ah- I am so happy to hear you found my "When Night Falls" Hc's cute. I would be delighted to write your request, hope you enjoy!!

✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮

When Night Falls ✩Part 2✩

Ft. Jouno, Dazai, Fyodor || Part One

✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮

Jouno

Sleeping with Jouno is honestly pretty complex.

Considering Jouno's senses are heightened, I do believe he gets sensory overload when he sleeps with someone else or something he doesn't recognize.

Things like your hair touching his chest, your quiet snoring, the heat radiating off your body can make him feel overwhelmed.

Taking that into consideration, Jouno isn't much of a cuddly person.

He doesn't want to make it seem as if he doesn't love you or like having you around.

Hence why rather than a full cuddle, he just places his arm or leg on or around you.

Its like a way to reassure you he's here and wants to be near you while not being overwhelmed by the feeling yk?

He is honestly a pretty peaceful sleeper, although sadly- he is a very light sleeper.

Meaning any sound, or movement makes him either wake up or alert. (Your light snoring kept him up the first time y'all slept together, but now its like a white noise, weirdly comforting to him now).

Good luck trying to sneak out of bed in the middle of the night.

"Where are you going?"

"Uh- The bathroom?"

"Hm...alright, try not to pee so loud--It keeps me up."

"HOW CAN I CONTROL THAT?!"

Dazai

Sleeping with Dazai is comfortable.

Despite what people may think of Dazai, he isn't overly clingy.

Sure, there are nights when he just wants to be smothered in love and affection but it's usually once every blue moon.

He respects the fact you both need space and hates the feeling of being overwhelmed in a situation that is supposed to be comfy and delicate.

Between you two, its much less cuddling and more of just holding each other.

Lose hands rest on your body as quiet snores fill the room, you both lay in bed enjoying each others presence. (Nothing too tight or restricting).

Dazai tends to always be the one holding rather than being held.

He likes being able to let go or scoot away if the heat gets too overwhelming or adjust if he feels uncomfortable in his current sleeping position.

Dazai is a pretty heavy sleeper, you could really sneak out of bed at night and he would just continue snoring.

In addition, he tends to move around quite a bit; rolling over, scooting away, shifting around- etc.

"Sorry, its getting a bit hot let me just...there we go."

"Dazai- this is the fourth time you've moved."

"OKAY! I promise this is the last time."

"..."

"I have to pee-."

Fyodor

Sleeping with Fyodor was honestly a whole process.

Firstly, you had to practically beg and attempt to convince him to even consider sleeping in the same bed with you at least for one night. (He's such a bitch. I love him.)

Listen- He may love you, but it will take a while to actually get him to be vulnerable around you, especially being unconscious around you.

Once you get past the 4 month long process, we get to the actual good stuff.

The first night you two slept together, Fyodor stayed on his side of the bed, not really moving nor cuddling you--just kinda there. (It was really awkward)

But over time--after realizing that you really mean no harm and just want to sleep next to him--he will actually start to relax and allow himself to be vulnerable.

Fyodor is a very light sleeper as well as a quiet sleeper, rarely ever shifts around.

Once he chooses a sleeping position for the night, he sticks to it.

Fyodor is an occasional cuddler, to be more precise, he only cuddles when he needs to warm up.

Warmth is a big thing for Fyodor, considering he is Anemic, cuddles and warm covers help him alleviate and rest better.

Your warmth helps keep his cold body heated which he appreciates greatly and sees as an advantage.

Although, if the heat from your body and the covers becomes too much, he will quickly move away from you and sleep on his side of the bed.

The next morning, make sure he gets up SLOWLY! or he will fall over and crack his neck.

"So, how did you sleep last night?"

"It was...quite pleasant, although your warmth mixed with the covers warmth got me a bit overheated."

"Is that why you nearly kicked me out of bed?-"

✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸✮

These Head-cannons are so cute, I love being able to write things like these!! Honestly, I was searching up cuddling positions just for the funnies :) I asked my friend for help since I had huge writers block- (ILY) Anyways, Love ya! <3

[kimbap-r0ll]

Heya, can you do mafia gang fishes having a nightmare about hurting their s/o while cuddling them? (Like s/o they made somehow s/o bleed a lot??

Hi! Lol mafia gang fishies (I'm assuming we're talking about the one and only Octavinelle!). This sounds like an interesting ask, I won't go into the details for what kind of injury s/o might endure in case it's squeamish

Octavinelle having a bad dream about their s/o while cuddling with them

Azul

You probably have to be super close to get him to cuddle with you, he doesn't want you to get hurt while he's hugging you (his arm strength is crazy)

You woke up in the middle of the night because you felt like he was holding you tighter than usual. He was also kicking the blankets off so you were feeling a bit chilly. When turning to face him, you notice how his eyebrows are furrowed and he's breathing pretty heavily. "Azul?" you try to wake him up, shaking him a little bit but then you realize he's tearing up a bit.

Realizing yeah it's a nightmare of sorts, you shake him harder and he almost hits you in the head with how fast he gets up. Shaking his head while breathing unevenly, he looks around a little frantic and sighs in relief when he sees you. "O-oh, did I wake you up?" he looks apologetic. "Sorry about that, didn't mean to," he continues and before he gets up to grab the blankets he furiously kicked off a few minutes ago, he lifts your chin with his hand and looks you up and down. He's checking for injuries, but he'll brush it off as "I had a bad dream about you getting hurt"

He doesn't want you to be burdened by him so he won't go into details. But it was a violent dream, a little too violent he was glad someone woke him up. When you two try to fall asleep again, he'll keep brushing his fingers in your hair and occasionally brush his hands against your arms and neck, places he remembers from the dream you got injured.

Jade

He probably woke up on his own, you were still sleeping when he got shaken up by the bad dream. He notices he was crying because his cheeks are slightly wet, but he doesn't really move around in his sleep so he doesn't look too disheveled.

Looking to his side, he notices you're still asleep. He'll brush some hair out of your face to make sure the injuries he saw aren't actually there (he doesn't believe his dreams but you never know). Muttering to himself about how tired he must have been to get a dream like that, he tries to fall asleep again. If you wake up around this time, you'll probably catch him staring at you with sort of intense eyes, like he's making sure you're not going to disappear

If you don't wake up, he'll pull you closer, put an arm around your waist and close his eyes. He tries to think of other things, like his work for the next day, some nice memory you two shared recently, etc. Sometimes, his hand will trace your arm up and down, but he doesn't really move much beyond that.

Giving you a soft kiss on your forehead, he'll likely fall asleep soon after. The next morning, he looks a bit tired, but relieved to see you well. If you ask if he's alright, he'll say he's fine, not wanting you to know about the dream that occurred. "Make sure you're safe, I'll make it my top priority as well," he might say when you two head off to whatever you need to do for the day. It might sound like a simple sweet thing, but he's saying this because he was shaken up last night

Floyd

Probably woke you up because he made a little yelp and sat up immediately. You had a feeling it might be a nightmare with how he just sits and stares at the opposite wall for a few seconds without responding to your "Floyd? What happened?" that was repeated a few times

Once he finally shakes his head and calms down a bit, he'll give you a really big hug (almost chokes you) and says "I thought you were going to die!" You'll need to ask for context, but he doesn't really give you much details other than he thought you were a goner and things like that. He'll check all the places he remembers you were injured. It's probably one of the few times you see him more panicked and vulnerable than other times.

Please hug him tightly when you two are going to bed again. He'll basically hold you in a death grip while he's trying to fall asleep, but at the same time he won't tell you he was really shaken up by the nightmare. He feels like it's not something you have to worry about, so he won't give you a lot of details. Tell him you're okay and he doesn't have to worry

"That was a really bad dream, sorry for waking you up," he'll sigh, giving you a peck-like kiss on your forehead and pulling you closer to him. He'll keep his eyes on you until you fall asleep, just in case something happens, he's sort of protective so expect this to carry on for a few more nights. Either way, he'll be hugging you and occasionally giving you kisses while trying to fall asleep.

[coryosmin]

How do you think the hg boys (go to) sleep with the reader? Who snores? Who hogs the blankets? Do they like to cuddle? Etc.

this is such a cute ask. i added the girls as well.

coriolanus - when you sleep next to coriolanus, i feel like he’s the type to get really cold. so he would definitely hog the blanket. but if you wake him up in the middle of the night to complain he’s hogging the blanket, he’ll let go of it and cuddle you instead. your warmth is so much better than a stupid blanket. i also feel like you would snore and he liked listening to your snores.

sejanus - he’s such a cuddler and he snores lightly. it’s not like an obnoxious snore that an old man does in his 50s but it’s a light snore. he’ll hold you so close to him while he sleeps that you get overheated and end up kicking the blanket off of yourself.

finnick - finnick is the kind of guy that cuddles you and holds you so you’d never be able to escape him. he just loves the comfort. he’s definitely a light sleeper so the smallest of movements can wake him up. he loves putting his face in your neck as he sleeps.

peeta - PEETA IS SUCH A BLANKET HOGGER AND HE HAS NO SHAME ABOUT IT. he will hog the blanket and if you wake him up, he would just ignore you because man he’s trying to sleep. but then you’d put your cold hand on his back and he would give you the blanket back lol. he also snores similarly to sejanus.

johanna - she would never admit it but she loves being cuddled when she sleeps. she just wants to be held by you because she feels safe in your arms. she’s definitely the little spoon. she doesn’t hog the blanket at all but if she accidentally does, she’ll wake up in the middle of the night and put it back on both of you.

katniss - katniss is the type of person to huddle close to you for warmth. the blanket doesn’t matter too much to her as long as she can be close to you and sleep with you. she doesn’t snore much but occasionally, like if she’s hunted for too long that day and is exhausted, she’ll snore so loud

[lessdyke]

anon who asked about your ass being raped. Since you had it happen multiple times I think the most memorable one is a good starting place

i mean... obviously the first time was quite memorable. it's the one that fucked me up for life <3

my cousin was kind of a stalker when we were kids. hed always find ways to touch my breasts or steal a kiss or watch me undress etc etc but he was friends with my unhealthy stoner friends and we would hangout a lot. fast forward to this one party, yes? he says he'll drive me home after so I can just get as high as I want. when we're going back, he parks in the middle of nowhere and makes me suck his dick. for a long long while. he also pulled me out of the car and was about to rape me when some shit lot up in my head and i offered him my ass instead. he gets insanely horny at that (we were both virgins) but he comes right when he's starting to push his dick inside my anus and well I ended up convincing him to just go home already.

shit fucked me up if course. i would abuse alcohol and get high at all times. spent entire months without seeing him or hanging out with our common friends until one of them convinced me to go over to his house for a small gathering. cousin wasn't supposed to be there be he popped by when they told him I came by. i was drunker than ever in my life. he started groping me with everyone around, as if he was claiming that I was already his. at some point he's bragging about how he fucked my ass and that I offered it to him. no one believes him so he says he's going to demonstrate.

so there I am, about five male friends 'round me, none of them stopping my cousin when he bends me over on the floor and starts to put his fingers in my ass. i was v into some of those friends so when they all started collectively groping me it felt v v nice. got fingers in my mouth gagging me, my nipples twisted and pinched, my soaked labia parted and photographed... and then my cousin actually penetrates my ass. with everyone cheering him on, taking pictures, getting excited. he doesn't fuck me long, but he comes a lot in my ass. everyone wants to see what he's left inside me. I think I remember them saying someone wanted to be next, and that got my cousin a lil possessive so he started pounding my ass again so no one could do it.

i was wasted through it all. but. in the morning, I wake up sore and with faint memories of what they'd done to me all night. i still feel slightly soft and open back there. my cousin was sleeping next to me, and when he wakes up the first thing he does is start to finger my ass again, making fun of how easy I am and how slutty my ass is. this time, I consciously open my legs for him. i let him fuck my ass first thing in the morning, and I end up liking it. it isn't rape anymore. he doesn't come much, but he climbs up my body and asks me to lick it off his softening dick (he just pushed it into my mouth before I could even answer) and that makes him hard so he pounds me into the mattress one last time.

i don't go out neither with him or our friends again. i only ever see him during Xmas anymore, and now fortunately he's married so his focus is entirely somewhere else. but still. that is the guy who raped me in the ass as many times as he could through my adolescence. wish I didn't have to see him anymore.

[screeching-bunny]

hi love ur work sm

can we have part 3 of yandere General i wanna know how their life after marriage and how he treats her

Yandere! General pt.3

Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’

Pt.2

You were afraid of your new husband and Yandere! General was well aware of this. He knew that after everything he's pulled it would take a while before you could fully love and trust him. Surprisingly, after getting married he starts to become softer and would often do acts of service for you. Although he was a lot kinder to you, you were still wary of him and tensed whenever he was around. Which is how you were right now, laying bed with your husband as stiff as a board. Yandere! General was currently big spooning you as he slept and whenever you tried to wiggle out, his grip only kept on getting tighter. You had a feeling that he was probably still awake and was just doing this on purpose. Every night he would do this as if he felt comfort in knowing that you were trapped in his arms. There was nothing that you could do about it so you just let it happen.

When mornings would come he would always make sure to wake up bright and early to cook you some breakfast. Even though he has maids to do the cooking he won’t let them, this is because you once complimented his cooking and he’s been living this high for a while. Surprisingly, he has really good cooking skills and it never fails to amaze you each time. Due to traveling and his many battles during war in other countries he knows a wide variety of recipes. He’s always whipping up something new for you each time. If he can, he always makes sure to whip your food into a cute shape for you to eat. It’s a part of his creative process so don’t question it.

As time goes on you begin to warm up to your husband due to how soft he is with you. After all, he did stop you from marrying an old man and from your family so you honestly can’t complain too much. On weekends, he likes to take long strolls hand-in-hand through the meadows and tell you stories about his many adventures. Sometimes, the two of you would engage in mock "strategy battles" in the garden where Yandere! General would always allow you to outwit him. Another thing that he enjoys is going on picnics with you, where he would playfully lift you up as the two of you crossed a little stream. Yandere! General loves dancing under the moonlight with you and he'd twirl you around like you were young sweethearts on their first date. He just finds you really adorable and cute.

Yandere! General can’t be home all the time due to his job and would make sure that you’re well taken care of when he’s gone. Will leave small notes for you to find from him all over the mansion like a treasure hunt. He makes sure that it’s damn near impossible for you to have any chance of escape and hires people to monitor your every move. When he’s out in war he’d make sure to stop by any shop that catches his eye to buy any clothes, accessories, trinkets, etc that he thinks that you might like.

Soldier: “Sir, what do you think our next course of action should be? ….. Sir?”

Yandere! General: *currently window shopping for you*

Soldier: “....”

Everytime he arrives back home he makes sure to never come back empty handed and will always bring back flowers for you. The flowers are proudly placed in the middle of the dining room table. He cherishes quiet nights by the fireplace, reading books and sharing laughter. He’d have you read aloud the book that you’re indulging yourself in so he can enjoy it with you. Occasionally, you would even fall asleep on the couch, wrapped right in his arms, reminding him of the peace he found with you. He lives for moments like these and when it's time to take you to bed he’d walk in circles in the living room just to hold onto you a little longer.

Fall is filled with the two of you making leaf piles that he would throw you into. During this time of year the two of you harvest apples together so that he can bake you an apple pie. Winter time is filled with joyous hours where the two of you would build snowmen, engaging in friendly snowball fights that often ended with laughter and playful kisses in the snow. During the springtime you are bombarded with many flowers and homemade chocolates. Then the two of you would plant flowers in the garden together. In the summer, when the fireflies adorned the night sky, Yandere! General craftily builds you a swing in the oak garden. Where the two of you would spend countless evenings gently swaying back and forth, laughing like carefree children, and promising (totally not Yandere! General forcing you to say this) to stay together, no matter where life's journey took you.

When he feels stressed, he comes to you for comfort. He finds solace having you in his arms. To him it feels like you're a haven of peace and love. He only shows his soft sides to you and never to others. Dislikes it when anyone sees him that way and would gouge out their eyes if they ever did. Isn’t very transparent about the things that are bothering him, he’d rather not have you stress or worry about it. Views you as something that’s delicate even if you’re not and believes that he can break you anytime he puts too much strength in you. Which is also another reason why he keeps weapons away from you.

As I said before Yandere! General is the type of guy who likes to maintain order and likes when his rules are followed. Make sure to absolutely never piss him off. So as long as you follow them and don’t disrespect him then he’s a fairly good husband but if not then he’s very harsh on the punishments. Follow his rules unless you wanna say goodbye to one of your legs.

[yandere-kokeshi]

yandere mw2 characters with a reader who tries running away? (price, ghost, and alejandro)

Warning: punishments and angry boys.

A/N: hope you enjoy :]!

Captain “Price” John:

Less pleased about the incident. Cursing out, throwing out his cigar before checking your location.

He's immediately right behind you, yelling your name while catching up to you; immediately grasping your shirt, pulling you onto his shoulder, and taking you back home from the long journey that you started.

Once at home, Price is staying calm, a type of unnerving calm that's extremely uncomfortable. He's sent you to your room, like a child, and doesn't come in till he calms down to talk to you.

— "Why can't you see that I need to protect you?" He asked sternly, arms crossed against his chest as he looks at you sitting on the bed.

You stayed silent — like you always did. You heard him sigh before feeling the weight next to you deepen, signaling he was right next to you. "I just want to protect you. This is for your greater good. I don't want to do the extra mile with you, but if I have to. I will."

His reaction is very... dad like. While he does forgive you, he will not let you get away with it without consequences.

The 'extra mile' is stripping your privacy and removing your social life, completely.

That means that you won't be able to contact any of your friends, family, or simply anyone you enjoy time with. As well as for privacy, you won't be allowed to be alone for more than 2 minutes; having him constantly following you like some type of guard dog.

Need to make yourself breakfast? Let him do it. He's better at cooking; plus, you might hurt youself. Want to watch TV? Sure, just let him sit beside you. Want to head out and do a run? Maybe, depends on the weather. Even then, he's coming along.

While Price is easy to forgive, it doesn't mean he forgets. If the two of you get into a fight, he will bring it back up and threaten you with it. Possibly, add that he should've done more.

Although, the worse he will do is chain you to the bed. Possibly take away any electronics and things that bring you joy (ex: reading books, sleeping with stuffed animals, eating sweets, etc.)

Simon “Ghost” Riley:

Expected it. Already thought it through, he's already ahead of you, chasing you down with his swift moves. He's efficient to know exactly where you are. The minute you think he's away, he's right behind you, a strong hand against your lower back as he carries you back to the shared home.

At first, he's angry — upset that you would thrash and run off when he has to protect you. But, after realizing that yelling was not doing so well; he was forced to put himself in your shoes.

I mean... waking up in a random bed, in the middle of nowhere, and somebody you thought you could trust; it's a big deal to process.

That being said, he will leave you alone, then come back with dinner an hour later. Sitting down in the bedroom with you and looking at you with a intense look.

— "Look, you don't have to speak. That's fine. Just let me talk." He stated, grabbing a chair and scooting it closer to the bed, sitting on it with a sigh and a few pops coming from his knees:

"I understand you're upset. But I need you to understand I'm doing this to protect you. For this reason, because of what happened today, I'll need to some change things."

His reaction is more... stricter after this incident.

The 'change' around the house consists of him being too over your shoulder; stripping your privacy by 90%.

Being in the bathroom for more than 5 minutes? He's knocking on the door, asking if things are fine. Want to go outside? Sure, but he has to be with you. Showering alone? Yeah, no. He's either joining you (with consent) or staying the in bedroom to watch you.

All the windows and doors are placed under severe locks, and some of them are insanely protected to the point its almost bolted shut.

At night, his grip around you is much tighter. He's always staying up later, watching you as you read books in bed or TV, whichever one you prefer. He'll try to strike up a conversation, watching your body language and skills.

While he is mad, he won't hold it up against you. Ghost would rather forget about it and move on. That doesn't mean he forgets. If this does happen again, the consequences are not lighter, rather semi-harsher.

Alejandro “Colonel” Vargas:

Stunned and displeased. At first, he was shocked; he thought you didn't have the guts. But, what did he know?

Much like the others, he's completely onto you. A trained soldier who's much faster than you. He's catching up with you, like a game of cat and mouse that's about to end.

In a second, you're caught in his hold, and quickly pulls you into a forced hug. him insisting that you need to calm down.

Sure, he's angry — you could've gotten hurt. Or worse. But, he hides it; doesn't show it to scare you or make the situation worse than it is.

Immediately, he's giving you space. He's going outside, leaving you alone in the house to think it through before approaching you with your favorite food and drink.

— "I understand you're scared, I know you're confused, mi amor. I do." He stated, crouching in front of you with his hands surrendering in a 'peace offering'.

He looked at you, watching your lip tremble with uncertainty. He reached over and grasped your hand, watching your body language before continuing to talk.

"But you don't have to be. I'm not gonna hurt you, okay? What you did today, isn't your fault."

While he does blame the two of you, he mostly blames himself. Much like Ghost, he forced himself into your shoes; witnessing your confusion and uncertainty about the situation.

His reaction is guilty, and anger. They're both portrayed as him, he's upset at himself for not showing you he's not capable of protecting and loving you. While his reaction is more different from the others, he's more concerned about your opinion of him.

Though, he will do extra things to make this doesn't happen again. He'll have Rudy come over more, and have cameras set outside. Specifically in the entry and exit areas.

Certain windows and doors are bolted shut. The doors he and Rudy come in have certain locks and passcodes.

Just like the others, he will be more observant and coddled around you. If you decide to cook, he has to be in the same room or participate in it. Wanna head outside and shop? Sure, just don't shove his hands around your lower waist or back. Let it stay where he wants to put it.

During the night, he makes sure to hold your hand and cover you more. Kissing you and showing you he's not a threat. Buying you things and spoiling you more than he should. But, you deserve it.

Although, he will give hints that the next time you do this, he will make sure everything will be a bit more difficult.

—

Masterlist || Please consider reblogging and commenting instead of liking. Stay well!

Do not plagiarize, repost, modify, translate or copy my work.

[sukunastoy]

Shameful Attraction (CEO! Sukuna x Female Reader ~NSFW~ Part 6)

Pairings: CEO!Sukuna x fem!reader x fiance!Toji (Non-Curse AU)

Synopsis: You've been in a long-term relationship with Toji from high school, who is the love of your life. Well, sometimes he is... You turn a blind eye to all of the heartaches he seems to deliberately bring upon you and the relationship. Despite his actions, you've remained loyal and true. That is, until Sukuna, a CEO and your new boss, draws you into an affair.

CW/TW: This story has moments of mistreatment and abuse in it. There are references all throughout about this behavior—Hitting, name-calling, degradation, hiding bruises, domestic violence, sexual assault, being drugged/unaware, cheating, unfaithfulness etc. Also, reader is thin/underweight, unprotected sex, fingering, pet names (i.e., doll, pretty thing, little one, princess, etc.), praise kink. Mentions of depression and thoughts of suicide in later chapters.

(This chapter in particular mentions thoughts of suicide.)

Wordcount: 3.6k+

Saturday 1:33 AM

It's happened again. You went to bed with the man that wasn't your fiancé. It might have made you swoon in the moment; being overfilled with the aching desire for attention of someone other than Toji— but it left you feeling sick in the end. Especially since this wasn't going to bloom into some relationship. That little text from the previous night reminded you of that. Waking up next to Sukuna was something you could live for, but, it wasn't right. It wasn't something you should get used to. Glancing at him; admiring how relaxed he was— you felt your bottom lip quiver at the unfairness of it all. He was incredibly attractive. Wealthy and powerful. Gave you so much attention. And made you feel absolutely amazing in bed. He made you feel safe...made you feel wanted. But this was just some temporary enjoyment. A man like him wasn't going to settle down. Not anytime soon anyway. And certainly not with someone like you. Slowly you crept out of the bed, not even remembering when you fell asleep. As you stood in the middle of his large room, you let out a shaky breath. Why was this so hard to be okay with? Toji was awful to you. Why did you still feel such guilt over this? Maybe because this was all a fool's errand. Trying to forget about the misery that was your life by letting your boss fuck you senseless whenever he wanted. Toji didn't truly care about you, and this man probably didn't care either. But...at least one of them treated you with a sense of decency. You quietly tiptoed out of his room, slowly going down the hall towards the living room. Your eyes adjusted to the darkness after some time, and you stood near the balcony doors in the living room, debating on what to do. The worst part of all this was that you'd have to go home at some point. Something that was getting harder and harder to do each time. Sliding the door open carefully, you snuck outside into the cool air, inhaling deeply to try and relax your mind. Sitting still made your mind race, and you wanted some kind of distraction. Needed some fresh air. You walked along the massive balcony, not even surprised that it was just as luxurious out here as it was inside. Most of it was covered by a roof to enjoy on a rainy or too sunny of a day. A few chairs were placed outside the covered area, giving a varied selection of where to sit. It wrapped around the edge of the building, and as you followed it, it opened up to even more space. There was a hot tub with lovely plants surrounding a couple sides of it, and the soft steam rising off of it looked so peaceful. The gentle hum of the small bubbles kept your mind busy for a moment as you sat on the edge of it, debating if you should put your feet in or not. Only a few feet away was a small pool in the floor of the balcony and to the edge with a glass wall. He really had anything he could possibly want or need. It was a bit chilly, but being out here already gave you a sense of ease. You looked into the hot tub, the light inside of it slowly changing colors to illuminate the water. The temptation overtook you, and your feet slowly dipped into the hot water. A small hiss escaped your lips as it was both relaxing and a bit of a shock all at once. None of the main jets were on, and you made sure to not push any buttons so it would stay quiet. You stretched your toes apart, watching them in the water as it eased your tension. Something about the tiny and gentle air bubbles coming out from the idle jets and going between your toes kept your mind occupied from the dread trying to invade it.

Time was lost, and you had no idea how long you'd been out here. But you found yourself at the edge of the pool now, sitting by the side with one leg dipped into the cool water. Your other leg was bent and your arms and cheek rested atop your knee.

You slowly twisted your engagement ring while lost in thought, noticing it wasn't as loose as it was before. Had this past week with Sukuna feeding you made you gain a little weight? Shit...what if Toji noticed that..? He wouldn't be too happy, and he'd wonder where you got the extra food from. Wiping the small tears in your eyes, you stared up at the sky, just barely able to see some of the stars. What if Toji was home tonight? And you're not there? You kept doing this devious act despite knowing the rules. You weren't allowed to be away from home without him knowing. He'd beat you for not being there. Should you head home now? But how could you get there so quickly? The trains weren't running anymore. You couldn't afford to take a cab that far. What if he went looking for you?

You let out a sob while clenching a hand into your hair, begging the horrid thoughts to pass. It hurt. It always hurt. This constant fear of getting in trouble and being punished left you on edge. All day at work you had to keep a smile and cheery attitude. Around coworkers and strangers, you needed to remain normal and worry-free. A fake version of you was all anyone knew. It was exhausting to pretend that you had everything under control.

Toji had you under his control...and it felt like an invisible chain was going to be forever tightened around your neck, jerking you back to his side.

How much longer were you going to be able to handle this? Sukuna provided relief but the reality in the end was you were stuck with Toji. Forever. You overlooked most of the torment...but what happens when he goes off again? What happens when you end up in the hospital again for him beating you so severely over some minor mistake? How long could you continue covering up bruises before they got too intense to keep hiding? You winced, feeling every slap, every shove, and every punch that he's easily done to you. You just wanted out. You just wanted free!

You looked out across the pool at the railing while trembling, hating your life. Hated how you ended up in such a shitty relationship. Hated how you were in so much debt you probably could never get out of it. Hated that your parents refused to talk to you. Hated that you felt safe with some man you just met but knew it would never be anything serious.

The intrusive thought always found it's way into your mind. The thought of just ending it all. Just being done with the bullshit you were constantly dealing with. Honestly, who would miss you? Toji would only be angry that his obedient little punching bag had to be replaced. Your parents certainly never checked in on you. And you only just started to work at this new job. You'd be forgotten soon enough and someone else would be hired in your spot.

Panic crept into you, and you shoved yourself from the edge, plunging your body into the cold mass of water. You sank down to the bottom while letting out air, not wanting to surface. Not wanting to keep facing reality. The gentle hum of the pool pumps filled your mind instead, and the blurry glow from the city lights coming through the glass siding helped shield out the real world. It was quiet and soothing.

You needed to breathe. But, you didn't want to. You didn't want to come out of the water and face your life again. If only you could just stay in this dim, cold pool forever. Not like your life was any better. Your chest tightened as your body begged for air, yet you restrained. Just a little while longer. Please...

Finally shoving yourself from the bottom, you gasped for air once breaking the surface, coughing and feeling water painfully drip from your nose. You fumbled for the glass edge of the pool, holding onto it while panting hard. The glass siding was almost level with the water, and anyone foolish enough could easily climb over and fall from the height to the ground below. Just knowing you even considered such a horrendous thing brought tears to your eyes. Resting your cheek on your arms, you sobbed quietly.

Saturday, 4:47 AM

Standing in the shower in the hall bath, you stared down at your feet while the hot water poured over your head. Your clothes were hung up over the towel racks to dry, and it was only now that you felt extreme shame for your previous actions. Luckily, Sukuna hadn't woken up to find you out in his pool. Being wet from an early morning shower would be more understandable than from sitting in the pool with clothes on. You worked on getting your practiced emotions back in order. To seem like you had everything under control. To act as if nothing was really bothering you and that you are doing well. It was difficult, but, it was all you could really do. Slipping the mask back on was what you were good at. It kept people from asking too many questions. You washed yourself with the small loofah and soap you brought from home, getting the smell of chlorine off of your skin and out of your hair. Maybe you could make some sort of breakfast for him this time before he woke up. To show your appreciation for this past week.

After drying yourself off, and putting on a large shirt from your bag, you went into the kitchen. Everything was so expensive looking, you almost felt worried to touch anything. His fridge was filled with neat containers and dividers with fresh foods, and as you took a few things out, you wondered if this was even a good idea anymore. You hoped it wouldn't make him upset for rummaging through his stuff for a meal. After taking several moments to try and figure out his fancy coffee maker, you were able to get a couple cups ready to go as well. You set the table with a few plates of food, trying to make sure everything looked okay. What if he didn't like it..? What if this was crossing a boundary in his home?

Saturday, 8:03 AM You swallowed hard while going back into his room, unsure of how to even wake him up. He was on his stomach, with his arms crossed under his pillow, and his face turned towards you. Setting your hand gently on Sukuna's shoulder, you gulped. You said his name softly, giving his shoulder a small squeeze while doing so. You could feel his muscles slightly tense under your fingers, and his expression changed slightly. He was uncovered most of the way, and your eyes trailed down his muscled back, realizing he had even more tattoos here. You traced the black lines softly with your fingertips, admiring how gorgeous this guy really was. His muscles were well defined, making it clear he kept himself in good shape, despite spending so much time with the company. You said his name again, leaning closer down to him and a small, sleepy groan left his lips. "Sukuna, I made some breakfast for us." You whispered, running your hand gently along his back from shoulder to shoulder. It's how you'd wake up Toji if you needed to. Just gentle and calm. He inhaled deeply while his body stretched, and one of his eyes lazily opened to look at you. He looked at you with an odd curiosity, as if trying to understand why there was someone here. A yawn overtook him, and he turned to be on his side while rubbing his eyes and the bridge of his nose. "Hmm?" "I made some breakfast for us." You said again while sitting next to him on the bed, gently placing your hand on the black bands of his bicep. "Figured last night probably took some energy out of you." You teased lightly. A small grin spread his lips while he leaned his head to the side and looked at you. You couldn't help but admire his sleepy expression. He was still so incredibly hot even with his pink hair tousled in this early, gray dim of morning. "I don't think I'm hungry enough for it yet." His grin widened as his hand now suddenly gripped onto yours. You were pulled into the bed at his side, breath escaping you as he kissed your lips hungrily. He nipped at your bottom lip, causing your lips to open so he could push his tongue into your mouth. You moaned softly through his kiss, letting him maneuver your body underneath his. You were used to Toji just demanding sex from you whenever, but, it felt different with Sukuna. He wasn't doing it for some malicious reason. It wasn't to put you in your place or claim ownership over your body. It was primal fun, a normal human need and enjoyment. And he was fucking good at it. The times you spent in bed with Toji paled in comparison to how Sukuna treated your body. Toji was your one and only guy, prior to Sukuna. So everything seemed good until you got a taste of how a man could actually fuck. Your head hung off the bed while Sukuna sucked and bit at your neck, surely leaving marks that you'd later see. But you didn't care. All you cared about was how good he was making you feel, and hoping that you were making him feel good in return. His hard thrusts knocked your breath out each time, and your eyes glistened as they brimmed with tears. The way he hammered into your sweet spot nearly made you delirious. And it hurt so fucking good. Though his hands held your wrists firmly into the bed, you felt so safe and secure in his grasp. He could hold you here as long as he wanted and you'd leave yourself open for whatever he desired.

"You didn't have to get up and cook." Sukuna said while sitting down at the table with you. You shrugged it off with a small smile, still high on ecstasy from not too long ago. "I just wanted to thank you, for making me breakfast last week, and buying lunch for me all this week." He chuckled slightly before taking a drink of his coffee, eyeing you over the lip of the cup. But, he saw you doing it again. Waiting. Waiting for him to say you could begin eating. You stared down at your food, feeling the saliva gather in your mouth like a starving dog. "Hey." Hearing Sukunas voice, you looked up to him expectantly, happily waiting for his permission. "You don't have to wait. Why do you?" "I just...I'm used to it. My fiancé is a bit, controlling at the table. It's just easier to let him start eating first." "Is your household a hierarchy or something?" Honestly, you laughed a bit at his words. It did sound ridiculous that you couldn't eat without permission, but you didn't know how else to be. Toji would slap your hand if you ever sat down and just started to help yourself, and that would be the nicest of his reactions. "It's something he's always been adamant about...I try to just respect it." You shrugged, it's just how shit was in your home. "So, he makes you cook, and then doesn't even let you eat without allowing you to." It was more of a statement than a question, and you gulped hard at the reality of it. Everything at home seemed so normal, but you often forgot that to others, everything you mentioned was extreme. "I mean...no, o-or...I guess..." you stared down at the table, trying to find an answer somewhere on it. Trying to find some typical excuse for how Toji treated you. Trying to make it sound reasonable or understandable. Sukuna clicked his tongue, snapping you out of your desperation for excuses. "Never mind it...just don't wait for me to eat." You smiled weakly at his words, starting to gather food to your plate. Rarely did you get to eat your own meals, usually only cooking for Toji. Rough habits to break...

The two of you didn't get to make it too far into the meal before his phone started ringing. Looking at who was calling, he simultaneously sighed and smirked. "So impatient..." He commented before standing up and answering the phone.  "What, MeiMei?" Your chest tightened at the name, though you tried to just ignore it and eat without paying attention. He went into another room to talk, but you could still hear him for the most part.

"No, I haven't left yet." ... "What, I can't enjoy breakfast first?" ... "Don't worry about it. Not your business, is it?" ... He let out a rude laugh before sighing. "Jealousy doesn't suit you, MeiMei." ... "No, you don't need to know her name."  ... "Don't bother me again unless it's important, or I won't waste my time coming over later."

You knew you'd have to go back home at some point, but you were grateful he didn't send you home right away just because this MeiMei had called him. Jealousy didn't suit her? What did that mean exactly? Was she jealous that someone was with Sukuna in his home right now? You did your best to keep your smile to yourself as Sukuna sat back down to eat. It might have been ridiculous, but it made you feel somewhat special. And you'd take any little bit that you could get.

Saturday, 6:32 PM

"Ahh...I've needed a good fuck." MeiMei sighed in contentment after Sukuna rolled off of her to the side. He said nothing in return, and turned to her nightstand, taking a cigarette from his pack and lighting it. He took a long drag before exhaling, staring at the ceiling through the smoke. "So, heard you got a new little assistant hired. How's that going so far?" She questioned, flipping her hair back. He shrugged casually, taking another long drag. "It's fine." "Uh oh. I know that tone of yours. Is she already getting on your nerves?" She smirked, moving closer and resting her cheek on his chest.  "No." He said and rolled his eyes as she took the cigarette from him. "Well, I guess she's not much to talk about, since you're being so boring in this conversation."

He chuckled briefly before sitting up, turning from her to leave. "I have work to finish before morning."

"Sukuna." MeiMei smirked while sitting up as well, crossing her legs and leaning back. "That's all you're giving me for the night? I had plans to stay up late. You brought a whole box of condoms, gonna let them go to waste?"

"Seems so." He said while getting dressed. Normally he would stay all night. And they'd have round after round into the early morning. But she just couldn't hold his interest. At least, not this time. Someone else was taking up the space in his mind, making him worry, despite him not trying to. "Want me to hold onto this box then, til next time?" "Fuck no." He said while taking his cigarette back. "Think I trust you with that?" He certainly didn't. She could say she was on birth control, but he didn't believe it. She was cunning, and the last thing he needed was to get baby trapped, especially with someone like her.

She shrugged playfully while lying back on the bed, stretching out and sighing. "Want to tell me what's on your mind?"

"No." "Oh come on...we used to tell each other everything." "That was before you spread your legs for 3 guys one night in our bed while I was at work." He laughed cynically while exhaling smoke from the finished cigarette. "It was just a night of weakness for me. You were always gone." She pouted up to him. "That tends to happen when you run a company." Hearing his phone chime, he looked over to the other nightstand where he had left it, and MeiMei reached it for him. "From (F/N.)" She smiled while opening the message despite Sukuna holding his hand out for his phone. "Oh! She's asking if you're still up. Aww...Got another one lined up after me?" She playfully smiled while handing over his phone. "Someone else missing you? Leaving me early for some other pussy that feels better?" "Feels incredibly better." He said in a serious tone, overall ignoring her while reading over the next message that came in. Nothing too major, just being informed of an important meeting that was scheduled for Thursday.

She pretended to not act offended, but he certainly noticed the genuine frown on her face for a brief second. "I doubt that." She huffed out.

Sukuna glanced up at her and chuckled before pocketing his phone and turning to leave. "Better have that other report finished by tomorrow when we have the meeting."

MeiMei grinned and shooed him away. "Yes sir." She replied in a mocking tone. She was too money-driven to put her job in jeopardy. She might get on his nerves and he personally didn't care for her, but the way she handled business and money made the rest of her bearable to deal with. For now at least.

Monday, 7:45 AM

Monday couldn't have arrived any slower, but you were delighted to be out of your apartment and headed back to work. Toji still never made an appearance, and you secretly had hoped he never would. Perhaps he just left you in the debt and moved on. You'd prefer it honestly. Not like he was contributing to make it easier on you. Maybe he found some other gullible woman to take care of him. Highly doubtful... There were a few meetings this morning, and you began to gather the files needed for the conference room. You had honestly tried not to think of Sukuna since you left his apartment Saturday afternoon, other than messaging him later that night about a meeting. He said he needed to head to Kyoto for the rest of the weekend, needing to take care of a few things at his other office. Unfortunately, you couldn't stop thinking that he was most likely fucking that other woman. Not that it should bother you. But you couldn't fucking help it. You tried to stop wondering what she looked like, or how she was. Had she been in his life for long? Was she new?  Halting yourself, you held your head up properly, shoving away the thoughts again. It wasn't something you should intentionally burden yourself with. If you started acting like some jealous girlfriend, you'd most likely get booted out of his life. And even though it would never amount to anything, you wanted to stay around him as much as possible. You needed this distraction from the hell you constantly had to endure at home. 

~Thanks for reading!! Sorry, it was a short chapter! I didn't want the next chapter insanely long, so I broke it up and made this one short. But, it gave a little insight into the role MeiMei plays in Sukuna's life. Hope you enjoyed it! <3~

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