#Well in this case frog facts actually

[sarahmackattack]

One last talent show to save the rec center

Ok everybody here's the deal.

My science education nonprofit, Skype a Scientist (you might know her, creator of the squid facts hotline and matcher of classrooms + scientists) has secured absolutely no grants to support general operations for 2025. But! We're selling advent calendars to fund our program! They absolutely rule. They can save our nonprofit asses. If we sell 5000, which I realize, is so many, we can fund our program for 2025. Then I can offer a bunch of programming for free. Running a nonprofit is a weird job.

Every day, counting down to frankly whatever you want (it's usually Christmas, but man, maybe you want to count down to Halloween, that's fine by me) scratch off the sparkly sparkly iridescence and reveal a fact about frogs! We have 24 top-notch frog facts here.

You should get one for every kid in your life, then get one for all the adults who still let themselves access joy in critters.

Get 'em here: https://squidfacts.bigcartel.com/

[celestial-kestrel]

It's that time of year again where Mari Lwyd starts to be talked about and shared around and an INCREDIBLY misleading post gets shared a lot. As someone who grew up with Mari Lwyd I wanted to clear some things up.

Also hello, if you are unaware who Mari Lwyd is. This is about the Welsh tradition of the horse skull who visits houses during the Christmas to New Years period in Wales asking for alcohol.

First off and probably the most important one:

Mari Lwyd is not a cryptid!

I can not emphasise this enough. She. Is. Not. A. Cryptid. There is no story or mystery about a ghost or zombie horse roaming the Welsh valleys. She's not even supposed to be a ghost or a zombie. It's just a horse skull on a stick with a guy under a sheet. She's a hobbyhorse and a folk character used to tell Welsh stories and keep songs alive. When people spread the misinformation that she's a cryptid, it's the equivalent of saying Kermit the Frog is a cryptid.

She is actually only one character in a wider cast of characters who go door to door or, in more modern times, pub to pub. The cast of characters can change town to town and village to village but there are some common ones I see time and time again. The Leader, the Merryman, The Jester and The Lady are just some I see regularly. Punch and Judy used to be more popular a few years ago but I haven't seen them in a while as their tradition has mostly fallen out of popularity. In most cases, almost the whole cast will be played by men. Even the characters are considered and referred to as female. Though this again depends and varies by which group is partaking in the Mari Lwyd tradition.

This point also goes onto my second point,

Mari Lwyd does not rap.

I think this comes from a very common misunderstanding of what rap is vs spoken word. Rap is a very specific style of music originating from the African American communities of the USA and has it's own structure and motifs unique to it. It's a lot more complex than people give it credit for as a style of music and just flippantly assign anything similar to it as being rap. If someone is talking fast or reciting poetry, it is not rap. Or anything that is an exchange of words between two people is not a rap battle. Mari Lwyd does not do rap, actually something that gets left out of these posts is the fact Mari Lwyd does not even speak. It's actually the Leader, who does all the speaking and song based banter between the house/pub owner for entry. Mari Lwyd just clicks her mouth, bites people and bobs her head around.

I think Mari Lwyd is a really beautiful and unique part of Welsh culture. She's not actually as wildly celebrated as a lot of the posts make her out to be. Actually, I think most Welsh people themselves learn about Mari Lwyd through the internet as well. Her popularity is increasing thanks to the drive of local groups wanting to keep the traditions alive and a renewed desire to document Welsh traditions before they're gone. Which is why it's such a shame that she's turned into something she's not to earn horror points on the internet. I think this is why it bothers me so much to see the misunderstandings of the culture and the folk tradition. Mari Lwyd's origin is very hot debated as well as how long it's been going on for. But I think it's thanks to a lot of traditions like this that the Welsh language and our stories weren't lost forever. Welsh culture is recovering as is the language. But it's still in a very fragile place. I think it's why it's important to document and correct information when it's spread.

Anyway, if you want to see the tradition in action, here's a lovely video from the Cwmafan RFC going to one of the pubs for charity. It includes the song exchange with the pub owner for entry and the whole pub singing and joining in once Mari Lwyd and the rest are inside.

As well with another video from St Fagan's showcasing the more traditional and door to door form with the larger cast.

[wonderjanga]

So Ive had this prompt stuck in my head, dunno if you've done it before, but:

Billy unexpectedly powers down due to a villain's weapon. But instead of being, well, scruffy little billy, he ends up looking like a greek child with the toga (?) and all. What would the JL reaction be?

This whole incident started half a year ago with the divine beings in his head arguing about something. Arguing was a surprisingly common occurrence despite the fact that most of these guys were over thousands of years old. He tended to normally tune them out whenever this was happening.

Achilles: “BILLY!”

Marvel: *startles* “Yes, Achilles?”

Achilles: “Chiton or toga?”

Marvel: “Huh?

Mercury: “Chiton or toga? We’re making you a gift. Aren’t we like so kind?”

Marvel: “A gift…?” *sounds weary* “I don’t like the sound of that. What are you planning?”

Zeus: “Nothing!”

Marvel: “Solomon?”

Solomon: “It really is nothing. This will actually aid you in case of any accidents while in field.”

Marvel: “Okay then…”

Hercules: “NOW PICK!”

Marvel: “Alright, alright, dang. Uh… What’s a chiton?”

Zeus: “What’s a- What’s a chiton? I’ve never felt such a shame for one of my children before.”

Marvel: “I’m not your kid, but okay.”

Solomon: “Billy, a chiton is a tunic that was worn traditionally by the Greeks.”

Marvel: “Oooh. Uh… okay then I pick that one.”

Zeus: “Ha ha, suck it Atlas!”

Atlas: “I also wanted him to pick the Chiton…?”

Zeus: “I know. I just don’t like you. I thought that was obvious by now.”

Billy didn’t know that Robin was like five feet away and watching this entire interaction go down. To Damian, this grown ass man was just having a full conversation with himself, oblivious to the world. He reported this behavior to his father later.

Batman: “That’s normal.”

Robin!Damian: “Pardon?”

Batman: “That’s normal for Marvel. Think nothing of it.”

Anyways, fast forward six months. Billy forgot about the gift thing the Gods were talking about. Mostly because they hadn’t even given him the gift. Then the time came when Billy was forced to be detransformed. All because of a stupid villain’s machine going haywire. Sivana could do better. So now, Billy was standing in front of the JL who had surrounded him in a half circle.

(Ancient Greek is in italics)

Billy: “Uh… Hello?” *doesn’t even realize he’s decked out in the Ancient Greek drip, complete with the chiton from earlier*

JL: *staring in befuddlement*

Supes: “He’s been de-aged?”

WW: *steps forward* “Brother?”

Mercury: “Okay, Billy, stare at her for like three seconds and then be like you’re Zeus‘s kin?”

Billy: *doesn’t even know why he’s doing this but does the three second stare* “You’re Zeus’ kin?”

Mercury: “You’re my favorite champion now.”

WW: “I am. I am Diana Prince. It’s a pleasure to meet you. What is your name?”

Solomon: “Thavma is a nice choice.”

Zeus: “So is Keraunos. Which is arguably better because it means lightning.”

Billy: “Thavma, or Keraunos. Either is fine.”

Flash: *whispering to Batman* “Spooky, what’re they saying?”

Batman: “I don’t know. I’m versed in Greek, not Ancient Greek. I can just barely make out an eighth of the words they’re saying.”

Soon after all of this, he was taken to the Watchtower. The JL dropped him off in a rec room and assigned Robin to watch him so the team could go to a meeting room to discuss the whole ordeal.

Robin!Damian: *looking him up and down*

Billy: *can feel the judgment through Robin’s mask* “What is it?”

Robin!Damian: “What?”

Billy: “I said what is it?”

Robin!Damian: “Tt. A language barrier.”

Billy: *frog blinks* “Language barrier…?”

Solomon: “I’ll just turn off the Ancient Greek for you.”

Billy: *clears his throat* “Can you understand me now?” *slight Greek accent still there*

Robin!Damian: “More clearly. Yes.”

Billy: “Cool, now what is it?”

Robin!Damian: “Pardon?”

Billy: “What is it? I can tell you’re staring at me judgmentally through that thing on your face.”

Robin!Damian: *visibly bristles* “I am not.”

Billy: “Yes, you are.”

Robin!Damian: “I am not.”

Billy: “You are.”

Robin!Damian: “Am not.”

Billy: “Yuh huh.”

Robin!Damian: “Nuh uh-” *realizes he let that leave his mouth* “Why are you acting like a child?

Billy: “I am a child.”

Robin!Damian: *stares at him for a couple moments* “The reason I am staring at you judgmentally, is that I had previously assumed you had been born an adult.”

Billy: “Who told you that?”

Robin!Damian: “Nightwing.”

Billy: *remembers he’s not supposed to know who that is* “Who?”

Robin!Damian: “He’s someone you’ll meet when you’re an adult.”

Billy: “Okay…?”

*silence*

Somehow, the two ended up crawling in the vents together. You couldn’t even ask Billy how it happened.

Robin!Damian: “Crawl faster.”

Billy: “I’m trying.”

They spent a while up there, crawling around, eavesdropping, stopping every now and then in the kitchen for snacks.

Robin!Damian: “This is chocolate.” *hands him a chocolate bar*

Billy: *eyes literally shining as he looks at the bar because he rarely gets to have chocolate*

Robin!Damian: “You open it like so.” *opens his own bar* “Now come. We must continue on the move. Back to the vents.”

This went on until the JL started to look for them.

Flash: *searching the rec room frantically because they should’ve been here*

Robin!Damian and Billy: *descend from the vents*

Robin!Damian: “What do you need speedster?”

Flash: *screams*

[boysborntodie]

Details from The Outsiders you may have forgotten or missed

-Cherry doesn't appear after the hearing (her not waving Ponyboy is just a movie thing)

-Ponyboy fucking hates people with green eyes so bad and gets pissed when someone points out he also has green eyes

-Steve always combs his hair into complicated swirls

-The Greasers always play football together

-Soda is one of the only Greasers who never gets drunk

-He also doesn't smoke unless something is bothering him or he wants to look tuff

-Darry, on the other hand, never smokes because it would affect his perfect body which he is very proud of

-Darry is also proud of being smart and sensible

-Ponyboy is the heaviest smoker out of the Curtis family

-Johnny started smoking at 9 and Steve at 11

-Johnny would've run away from Tulsa if it weren't for the gang

-Soda gives killer massages

-Ponyboy's razor wasn't working while he had to dissect a frog so he just took out his knife

-Darry goes skiing with some of his old friends sometimes

-Cherry and Marcia barrel race often and are pretty good at it

-Soda used to ride in rodeos but after breaking a ligament, his dad made him quit

-Sometimes Soda and Steve let Ponyboy help them fix the cars at the DX

-Johnny is the most law-abiding of the gang, and didn't even carry a knife until the Socs jumped him

-Cherry has an older brother

-Ponyboy used to have a yeller cur dog

-Johnny's scar his from his temple to his cheekbone (it's huge and also hard to look at)

-Two-Bit is great at doing impressions

-Two-Bit often raises one eyebrow, and the gang associate the gesture with him

-Dally and the Curtis mother got along well before she died

-Ponyboy is a scarily good liar

-Ponyboy notes that while he sees Johnny as a scared puppy, he actually looks rather hardened and cold to a stranger

-Johnny's skin is lighter under his bangs

-When at the church, Johnny puts his jean jacket over Ponyboy while he went out to get groceries

-Steve, Dally and Two-Bit wouldn't have thought of buying soap at a grocery store

-Ponyboy calls himself a Pepsi addict

-Dally hardly ever cuts his hair

-Johnny loves drag races

-The Curtis Dad took the brothers out hunting often in the country

-Ponyboy has the best aim but hates shooting

-Dally heard of the old church from a cousin

-Ponyboy is the youngest person on the track team but still one of the fastest

-Darry was the closest to their dad

-Steve once called Darry 'all brawn ans no brains' which made Darry made because it reminded him of the fact he didn't go to college

-Darry will suddenly pick up a random Greasers and swings them around

-The Curtis Dad used to call Soda 'Pepsi-Cola'

-The Shepard gang and the Curtis gang have fought seriously on at least on occasion (but it's nothing compared to the rumble)

-The Curtis brothers stayed at the hospital all night for Johnny and Dally until a doctor forced them to leave

-Johnny has a clean police record

-Ponyboy chews his fingernails when nervous

-Johnny often sleeps at Two-Bit's house

-The Curtis brothers all have huge appetites

-Darry always checks Ponyboy's Math homework for mistakes

-Johnny looks like his mother; having the same black hair, dark eyes and tiny built/height

-Soda did actually try really hard to stay in school but he kept failing

-Darry and Ponyboy both enjoyed school and athletics while Soda isn't into either

-The only thing Dally did honestly was jockeying

-Johnny really good at poker (or Ponyboy is really bad)

-The only time Johnny has been confident and not scared in his life, was when rescuing the kids in the church

-Johnny actually gets hurt because he pushed Ponyboy out first of the church

-Sodapop loves attention and was good with the reporters

-Sodapop has a crazy sweet tooth

-The Curtis brothers all love chocolate

-Darry never locks the front door in case one of the gang need a place to stay

-Ponyboy once found Tim Shepard sitting on their couch reading the newspaper

-Ponyboy thinks that Two-Bit wouldn't have gone inside the church if he was there

-Two Bit wished that the one hurt was anybody but Johnny and that the gang would have still been able to get along had it been anyone else

-Darry once took an aerobatics course and taught all the Greasers everything he knew

-Soda and Two-Bit were doing aerobatics and then got arrested for disturbing the peace

-The Curtis gang are noted to be better at fighting than the Shepard gang

-Tim Shepard looked like a model from the magazines Ponyboy reads

-Ponyboy notes that sweat ran down Dally's face when Johnny died, but it was probably tears

-Cherry drives a Sting Ray

-Curly once slipped off a telephone poll and broke his arm

-Johny's a good listener and all the members of the gang often go to tell him about their day or their problems

-Johnny says in his letter that the lives of kids were worth more than his

[endursent]

Hi Ma’am! I’ve recently come across your “my partner turned into a cat” series and it’s wonderful. I was wondering if I could request something similar where reader turns into their partner’s favourite animal? Preferably with Kaveh, Neuvi, and Dottore (if you write for him). If not, that’s all good. Have a nice day!

【 content; established relationship , humour , gn!reader , temporarily turned animal (reader) 】

【 characters; il dottore, kaveh , neuvillette 】

【 note; i haven't actually written for dottore before strangely enough considering how much i love him, so it might take a while for me to get his personality and mannerisms down... thank you for the ask! 】

【 word count; 1.454 | masterlist 】

Il Dottore;

Never had you considered what his “favourite animal” is, mostly because you’re convinced Dottore doesn’t have a “favourite” anything—his interests are too unpredictable and subject to change at any moment. 

  Though you should have seen it coming that one day, his experimentation would strike you—thankfully you’re not dead, you’re luckier than some assistants that have been zapped a time or two and carried out in body bags. However…

  Why are you a fat little platypus, and why does he seem so excited about it?

  You look absolutely ridiculous, you imagine—and feel, having four legs and a beak is peak body horror that is unfortunately eating at your brain right now. And yet, Dottore picks you up like one would a cat and dangles you in front of him with both an excited and thoughtful expression. “How unexpected—and interesting. I made little change to the formula…” he plops you down on the table next to the damned formula he had been adjusting… never will you inhale “experiment fumes” again. Not that you’re supposed to be doing so in any case.

  “A fascinating specimen indeed,” he pokes around your fur and you shake yourself, but he is relentless with his prodding! “One of the few mammals capable of electroreception! I wonder if you've maintained those sensory capabilities... This requires immediate testing."

  He doesn’t leave you alone for a single second that you’re like this, always either checking something—one time you were freaking out about the fact that you had no idea how to eat or drink like this… and Dottore took out a notebook and tried to get you to bite his fingers to “test the venom”... you bite a bit harder than he likely bargained for. 

  Dottore does try to “help” in his own way, while he brainstorms how to turn you back, he creates a “suitable habitat” with burrowing zones and a “pool”. He means well, but he’s also using it to observe you like a specimen so you kick up dirt and splash water on the floor and tables in spite.

  Out of anyone, Dottore is the fastest to get you back to normal… or he could, if he wanted to. But he kind of likes seeing you waddle around trying to walk with webbed feet and seeing you knock your tail into things and make weird noises. He has plenty of experience pressing your buttons and what makes you tick as a human, why not enjoy a new side of you?

Kaveh;

He’s more traumatised than you are when one moment you’re standing next to him—and the next there’s a random ass deer there. He looks around and searches for you frantically, thinking you might have fallen into a creek or rolled downhill… very unaware of that same deer following him around and trying to get his attention. 

  He does love deer, he thinks you’re unimaginably cute but also kind of silly in the way horses are silly but not huge and terrifying. 

  Kaveh almost needs you to headbutt him for him to realise that you are, in fact, in front of him and not soaking around in a nearby river hanging out with the frogs. Thankfully, he’s smart enough to put two and two together after he snaps out of it—but now he’s just confused.

  How? You had just been right there! There wasn’t even a rustle of leaves or anything!

  In any case, he needs to get you back to the city… you walk like a human in a deer suit, unused to the long four legs and strange join positions—and as soon as you enter his and Alhaitham’s home (after getting your antlers caught in the door like an idiot if you have those) you suddenly stop. 

  “What is it?” Kaveh peeps from behind you, confused as to why your ass is just standing in the doorway.

  The house has hardwood floors.

  He doesn’t realise this, of course, and gives your behind a firm push—only for you to slip and slide and nearly tumble inside like a freshly born animal. Kaveh rushes in behind you, apologising for nearly knocking you over and trying to make sure you don’t fall against anything and break things… Alhaitham would never let him live it down if he saw this.

  It’s not exactly easy to… navigate this, you’re not a small animal nor are you yourself particularly knowledgeable about your new proportions. 

  He can barely stop himself from continuously stroking your fur and feeding you crunchy things to be able to watch you munch on them. It does kind of kill the fascination he had with deer, as he’s never really interacted with them so closely until you happened to become one.

  You follow him around like a lost puppy, even as he had a very important client meeting—you didn’t let him get away… and thus, Kaveh had to improvise a bit. 

  The client, an older woman, squints at you standing slightly behind Kaveh and trying to munch on the blueprints in his hands (you haven’t had food for two hours, which is disastrous with this huge stomach you have now). 

  Kaveh clears his throat, pushing your snout away. “Yes, we can change the—no, you see, this is… yes, it’s okay, this is just… a friend.”

  He has no idea how to explain this so he just chooses not to. “Anyway… about that garden idea, if we put a patio by this side—”

Neuvillette;

You can’t believe he’s keeping you in a bowl. 

  Somehow, and for some reason, when you had accompanied Neuvillette for an evening walk along the seaside just outside of Fontaine’s walls—you had stubbed your toe on a shell that stuck out of the ground, and with a sudden zap… you had turned into a blob.

  Neuvillette looks up from his desk as he hears your soft body pound against the bowl next to him—and toss up some water that almost splashes onto the documents splayed out before him—and frowns slightly. “I know it’s not very spacious… I apologise, my love. But I don’t have anything larger at this moment, hopefully the pet store will find a more adequately sized fish tank soon.”

  He doesn’t understand how you had suddenly turned into a jellyfish, you had been behind him for a brief moment before he heard your curse (likely because you stubbed your toe) and then a poof… when Neuvillette had turned around, you were like a deflated balloon on dry land. 

  Thankfully he had created a pocket of water for you from the saltwater nearby to float in as he brought you back to the city, but the situation puzzled him greatly—how could you become such a creature? He wasn’t entirely sure you were fully conscious in that body, but judging by your frustrated movements in the small bowl, he suspected you at least had partial awareness. 

  Neuvillette doesn’t want to leave you alone while you’re like this, he’s both worried you might suddenly transform back, without any clothes—which would be terribly awkward to try and depart his office in that state—or possible hurt yourself if you broke the bowl with the transformation and cut yourself.

  Thus, thankfully after you’re given a larger tank in his office (and at home, he’s not leaving you at his office overnight alone!) there is a smaller one placed in the Opera Epiclese, next to his chair. 

  During a court proceeding, Neuvillette had to present the evidence in a firmer manner than usual, as the representative to the one being judged was being rather contrarian—which was far from productive and consumed far more time than it needed to. 

  Every time he successfully made an argument that couldn’t be refuted or argued with, you released a faint bioluminescent glow—as if applauding his expert navigations of the evidence and arguments. No one seems to notice (it’s difficult enough to see Neuvillette so high up above the stage) but he still feels a bit sheepish when you do it—you’re likely not doing it on purpose, he doubts you would know how.

  Neuvillette is very careful with the temperature and the salinity levels of the water you inhabit for the time being, he creates a careful schedule to check it every few hours as well as adjusting it depending on day and night. He’s very determined to ensure you’re as comfortable as you can be, whether you realise you’re a weird blob with tentacles or not. 

  And he hopes he can figure out how to change you back soon… as cute as it is to watch you twirl around and show off when he stands before your tank, he would rather you show off your moves as yourself—where he can properly talk to and touch you. 

[shanastoryteller]

happy winter time! naruto, dealer's choice. thank you!

a continuation of 1

Sakura is terrified that she’s going to mess this up.

Naruto’s never been mean to her, and has complimented her hair several times, but they’re not really friends. Back when she was friends with Ino, she’d see her at the Yamanaka compound sometimes and they’d play together, but she doubts Naruto remembers that.

Sakura doesn’t think she and Sasuke have ever had an actual conversation. He used to be the center of all their competitive crushes, to his hilarious dismay, but then he got betrothed to Naruto and no one was willing to piss off the hokage’s daughter by flirting with her fiance.

Well, besides Ino, but everyone knows she does it just because Sasuke hates it and Naruto feels duty bound to defend him.

Also because Shikamaru ended up taking Sasuke’s place as Cutest (and Available) Boy and Ino would rather stab herself in the eye than bat her eyelashes at Shikamaru, even if that means there’s a social game she can’t win.

Sakura's on a team with son of the Uchiha clan head and the hokage’s daughter, Rookie of the Year and Top Kunoichi, and their sensei isn’t even some normal jounin, but the Inuzuka clan head.

Tsume-sensei seems dismayed when they pass, although Sakura thinks she should have expected this. Naruto and Sasuke have been working as a team for even longer than they’ve been engaged.

Maybe she’s just surprised that they folded Sakura in with them instead of leaving her behind. Honestly, she’s pretty surprised by that too.

“Does this mean we get a dog?” Naruto asks brightly as Sasuke picks twigs out of her hair. “Mom says I only get one pet and doesn’t believe me that the frog doesn’t count.”

“No,” Tsume-sensei snaps, then, “Maybe, I don’t know. I hadn’t actually expected that I’d have to train you, fuck.”

Sakura can’t see this going well.

~

Naruto walks home with Sasuke, because her mother is working late to avoid her father and her father is working late to avoid the fact that her mother is working late to avoid him.

She wishes they’d just get a divorce. Maybe they will now that she’s legally an adult. Maybe she’ll move out and take herself out of the equation.

She won’t. But she thinks about it a lot.

“Maybe it’s good that it’s Tsume,” she says. “Sakura’s biggest weakness is her conditioning and you know that Tsume will train us into the dirt.”

Sasuke hums. “Maybe we should introduce her to Gai.”

She stares. “Do you hate Sakura?”

“She’s fine,” he says dismissively. “It’s too bad we didn’t get Hinata, but both my father and hers would have thrown a fit and gone to complain to yours. He’s the best at taijutsu, if she joins Team Nine’s morning workouts then she’ll be up to par in no time.”

“If it doesn’t kill her,” Naruto says dryly. “Why don’t we see what Tsume cooks up first, yeah? The first chunin exam is months away. She has time.”

“How do you know Tsume will sign us up for that one?” he asks, although by the glint in his eye he already knows.

Naruto answers anyway. “Tsume is going to take the first opportunity to get rid of us that she can, which would be the chunin exams. She’ll be praying for us to either pass or die.”

He laughs, a breathy sound that wouldn’t qualify coming from anyone else.

They arrive at the Uchiha compound and she stares at it wistfully. After helping uncover the almost betrayal, every Uchiha is nice to her now. The compound is so warm and bright and everyone is happy to see her and there’s always somewhere she can go.

“You can join me,” Sasuke says. “Mom always makes extra.”

Just in case she shows up.

“They’ll be expecting me to be home after the test,” she says, trying not to sigh. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

Sasuke nods, a pinched look on his face that she pretends not to notice.

When they get married, she hopes they live in the compound.

[cbrownjc]

Thoughts and Speculation after 2x07 (Spoilers):

A lot of people have said that this moment from the Season 2 trailers might actually be caused by a fight between Louis and Armand in the penthouse:

gif credit: @hermit-frog

And I have to say, after watching episode 2x07? I think they might be right.

Because if you know the book, you know that it is at the very end of it, like literally the last few pages, where it's revealed that Louis knew the whole time about Armand's role in what happened to Claudia. And they break up.

And so I think the same thing is coming next week on the show. Only in the show's regard, Louis knew of Armand's role, as we saw here -- but then was made to forget the actual full context of just how involved Armand was.

Because, as I pointed out on Twitter, this image from the trial --

-- is quite something. You have both the writer and director for the Théâtre des Vampires not on stage for this whole thing. Very much underlying the fact that this is a theatrical play that is being put on. As we saw, there was even a real, actual SCRIPT for this whole thing!

Like, how much more could the show have been pointing to what was really going on here? Trust a writing staff of playwrights to be meta about all of this. 🙃

Because the ending of this trial was written and locked in long ago. And who is the one that usually says when a play or film is locked in and finished?

The Director. (And yes I know producers and studios do too, but Armand is very much all of that wrt his role for their little theater as well).

BTW, Santiago and the coven did NOT expect Armand to do that to the audience. Saving Louis was very much off-script. And if Armand really had no power here, the coven could have just taken Louis off stage and killed him another way. The only reason they didn't was because Armand was very much not powerless in all of this.

Like, I love Armand's character, I really do -- now. But that is something that only came about after I read the books from Queen of the Damned forward. For the first two books, I very much did not like him. And, particularly when it comes to the Paris part of this story, that is where we are with his character right now. I know why he's doing what he's doing, I understand it. But I can't defend it.

Louis probably figured things out before San Francisco in 1973. He probably knew Armand's full role in what went down, same as in the book, after it all happened. But it was his suicide attempt that had Armand redact that knowledge from Louis' mind. The clues for that being the case are all there after episode 2x05.

Because, at the end of the day, even knowing Armand's full role in Claudia's death, Louis still mostly blamed himself for it all.

As we see, things are slowly starting to come back to Louis, but he's not fully there yet. And I think this whole memory thing is a more literal interpretation of the veil that descended over Louis' mind after Paris in the books.

A veil that only began to lift once Armand revealed to Louis that Lestat was alive. As we've seen, Louis knew Lestat was alive back in 1973. I'm not sure if he does so now. But maybe this isn't about knowing if Lestat is alive or not. Maybe it's just Louis thinking he needed to be punished because of his own role in failing Claudia -- and staying away from Lestat was part of that self-punishment. Because that view is a feeling I got when watching episode 2x05 and Louis not wanting to speak to Lestat. His refusal to speak wasn't out of anger IMO, but more fear and even sorrow.

The show is very much sticking to the beats of the book with all of this, and not revealing things about what happened that were revealed in later books. So I don't think Louis fully knows what was going on with Lestat during that trial. I wouldn't be surprised if we learn he still doesn't, since he never learned it in the first book.

But as I said here, it was clear as day that Lestat wasn't himself during that trial. Physically and especially mentally. I didn't even guess that the show would be that obvious about it, but they were. All very much hinting about what was really going on with his appearance here.

And Louis himself might, just might figure that out for himself. Especially if Dreamstat might appear to be back in his mind again. Because Dreamstat is very much Louis' subconscious. And I think Louis' subconscious knows something important is missing wrt all of this.

It was nice that, at least in the end, someone chose Claudia. Madeleine could have escaped this but chose to die with Claudia instead when she didn't have to. Her little middle finger to the crowd gave me a smile.

They did not do the full reveal of Claudia's diaries and what was in them on stage, which I seriously thought they would. They gave a hint about it, but more so in episode 2x05 than in here. Which means that, in a later season, we're still looking at that reveal from Merrick happening it seems. But then again . . . there were some things I suspect got left out on purpose because the actual (attempted) murder of Lestat was very much glossed over for us, the audience, during that trial sequence. We are very much set to revisit that whole thing during The Vampire Lestat adaptation in Season 3, of course. But I think even more will be revealed about that there then I originally thought.

And finally, Claudia. They said in the Inside The Episode they wanted her to go out with as much strength and defiance as she could and yeah, she did. But in the end, I still think she was angry, sad, and hurt by it all, which she had every right to be. Because at the end of the day, she never should have been made and was made for all the wrong reasons. But being turned so young made her a fierce and pure vampire though and though because she never had enough time to have lived a human life to have those types of morals and outlooks fully imprinted on her. That was always one of Claudia's core traits wrt her being turned so young, and she still had it here. And yes girl, you will haunt things after this -- particularly your parents.

In fact, it probably very much was your voice Louis heard calling him back in 2x05, wasn't it?

So, for a penultimate episode, this was very, very good. And things are very much going to explode next week. I knew Louis going Carrie/Firestarter on the coven would happen in 2x08. That moment always screamed "season finale" to me. Santiago picking up Claudia's yellow dress is also significant, as I think we'll see Louis' POV of that moment with Lestat about it.

And the break up between Louis and Armand might just be much more violent than it was in the book as well.

[sol-consort]

Okay but salarians' emotional processing is very fast to us.

It only seems fast to us.

From their perspective, we're the ones who wallow in sadness, never let go of a grudge, spend entire lifetimes yearning for love and never making a move, stay determined despite the odds

I can't tell how they must view it. How would you view a species whose happiness lasted years at a time? who take your life equivalent of months as a mental health break, who stay affected by the movies they watch to days on end.

To us, these years, months, and days are equivalent to weeks, days, and hours.

It's not just a case of a long lifespan—you don't see the asari stretching out their emotional experiences just because—no, we do in fact process emotions at a much much MUCH slower rate than those funky space frogs.

The awkward situations it would cause, the aftermath of a fight between you and your salarian friend where they immediately process it, decide it wasn't worth it, forgive you, and get over it. All within the same minute.

Meanwhile, you, the apex predetor human that you are, were cussing them out in your head during the whole duration of that minute. Only to turn around and see them return to their natural friendly demeanour, which could serve to either diffuse the situation or...

Piss you off even more. And now you're mad for two reasons.

So you restart the argument because you want them to engage with you, to actually show some emotions, a resemblance of a hint that they care. It's a basic human need to want others to relate to your emotions, to empathise, to actually stimulate you, and meet your emotional intensity.

But you get nothing from the salarian, they're fully over it. They'd much rather talk about the new episode of their favourite show, even watching paint dry seems more interesting to them than repeating this.

The misunderstanding it would cause, the gaint hill titled "miscommunication" every salarian and human must cross when it comes to friendship. The human brain reading too much into the salarian's behaviour, measuring it to the human scale and completely misinterpreting the message. While the salarian is completely lost to why you're making a mountain out of an ant hill, why can't you just let things go?

Worst case scenario, we seem very prideful, emotional, fragile, and nagging to them.

Best case scenario, we are confident, infectious with our happiness, determined, full of life and soul to them

But the most realistic scenario is that the salarian doesn't take offence because their unconscious brain knows you're a different species that should be acounted for with different measures, while our brain's tendency to "humanise" other species is a double edged sword that makes us hold them to human social standards that they invetiably fail to meet.

They realise they're speaking to a human with an average human emotional range. They don't look down on you for it, they understand therefore they empathise in their own way, become more paitent, allow behaviour from you that they wouldn't allow from other salarians because they know its in your nature.

If a human bit you because you touched their stomach, you'd completely cut ties with them. But if a cat smacked you awake with its paw for food at 3am, you wouldn't bat an eye at its behaviour. Because you realise the difference, you know this is normal cat behaviour, they square up with each other all the time. Their paw smack might as well be then first letter in the cat alphabet.

While some humans tend to misinterpret this behaviour as the cat hating them, the intentions do not matter at the end of the day because the action is hurtful and unacceptable to them.

Conclusion: Cat people would get along extremely well with salarians.

[satansapostle6]

fire and ice | james cook

Cook’s interest is piqued when an old childhood friend moves in across the street.

Warning: Mature themes/language. Drug use. Sexual content.

part seven.

part eight. tiff and jj.

That particular Tuesday, Tiffany Wheeler had walked into class high. More so than was typical. Most of the time when Tiff was high, it wasn’t necessarily noticeable to anyone except those who really knew her. She would just act normal while seeming a bit more subdued, with red, bloodshot eyes at the most, and that would be the end of it. But not today.

Tiff had walked into class late with Effy, and the two of them were, to put it simply, on one. They had split mushrooms and some spliff, and were on another planet entirely. It was the first thing Cook noticed when they walked into the room. The classroom had been dead silent, with everyone silently working on whatever they were working on, whether it was their actual class work, or doodling, or lightly snoring. In Cook’s case, it was staring at the doorway off and on waiting for Tiffany to appear.

And when she finally did more than twenty minutes into class, everyone in their respective group knew that it was going to be an interesting class. For starters, Tiff and Effy both walked into the room stumbling and giggling, something that wasn’t necessarily typical of either of them. The two girls were laughing so hysterically at something when they came in that even the teacher had noticed that they were under the influence of something. But of course, no one actually cared.

Tiff and Effy had taken far too long to sit down, too sloppy and distracted to function in that moment. Their behavior had gotten many different reactions. Katie and Naomi both rolled their eyes. Panda was excited by the prospect of drugs. JJ was somewhat confused, meanwhile Freddie just stared at Effy. But Cook was too focused on Tiff. He couldn’t take his eyes off her; she rarely lost control when drunk or high. Or in general. Her laughter and smiles were something he knew to take advantage of when he got the chance.

James Cook sat in his seat, watching in amusement as Tiff sat half slumped over in her seat in front of him next to JJ, deciding to take out a notebook so as to blend in with the rest of the class, but she just stared at it, not writing or reading or anything. She wasn’t able to at all.

“Psst,” Cook whispered, trying to get her attention. “Psst!”

Tiff was still too busy staring at her empty notebook to notice.

“Psst! Oi! Tiff!” he hissed frustratedly.

Tiffany slowly looked up at him, eyes rimmed with smudged black eyeliner.

“What?” she whispered back.

“Did you and Eff seriously blaze up without me?” he pouted.

“It was girls only,” she remarked.

“Well that’s rude,” he frowned.

But Tiff was already onto the next thing. JJ was next to her, absentmindedly drawing something to entertain his train of thought. Tiff of course noticed it as her eyes wandered.

“What’s that?” she whispered, leaning in.

JJ looked up at her, surprised that she was talking to him. Tiff often hung out with him, Cook, and Freddie, but rarely did she and JJ ever speak to one another separate from the others.

“It’s a frog,” JJ responded quietly. “Or, at least an attempt at one.”

“Do you draw frogs a lot?” Tiff wondered.

JJ had to think about it for a moment. “No. I don’t really draw… I just randomly thought of frogs. I wanted to see if I could do it.”

He stopped for a moment to wonder if he’d been talking too much. He was somewhat comforted by the fact that Tiff didn’t seem to care.

“That’s cool,” Tiff stared. “I think frogs are interesting creatures.”

“Yeah, I suppose they are,” he agreed, genuinely engaged in the conversation. “I think it’s interesting the sounds they can make.”

“I think the poison ones are interesting,” Tiff shared, “Like the colorful ones. The poison dart frogs. I wonder why they call them that. Do they actually shoot poison darts?”

“Can’t say I know,” Jonah Jones thought curiously.

Cook was fascinated watching the two of them interact, wondering if that was how he sounded to people at times.

*****

After school let out, Tiff and Effy went with Cook, Freddie, and JJ back to Freddie’s shed where the boys usually hung out together. Effy was sitting with Freddie, and Cook was sitting on his own, drinking more than anyone else as he watched Tiff and JJ, still talking.

Cook was surprised that they were still having one long conversation about a variety of different topics. He knew Tiff and JJ were both very unique people who were often quiet in large group settings, but he just couldn’t seem to understand how they were still talking.

“I don’t really go out much,” Tiff thought, “It’s easier to just drink at home.”

“Yeah, that’s understandable,” JJ sympathized. “I just wish there was a way I could meet girls… Not that it’d matter anyway, even if I met one there’s no way I’d be able to get anywhere beyond friends, if that,” he admitted with a sad disappointment to his tone.

“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true,” Tiff insisted, taking his hand in a friendly manner.

Cook watched with surprise as JJ just got bashful in response, practically blushing when she touched him, even if it was just to give his hand a squeeze.

“Besides,” she offered, trying to find genuine and truthful ways to help, “Some of my best shags have been friends,” she shared.

Immediately, JJ turned red as Cook looked at her in curiosity, definitely invested. Everyone could physically see the JJ swallowing the hard lump in his throat.

“It’s okay,” Tiff smiled, taking JJ’s hand.

His eyes widened at the comforting gesture. Not only was JJ unsure of how to receive such a kind act of physical affection, he was also extremely confused by it coming from Tiffany Wheeler.

“You’re safe with me, JJ,” she said softly.

“Th-Thank you, Tiff,” he managed, clearing his throat frantically.

“Do you want to kiss me?” she said finally.

JJ nearly had an aneurysm, along with Freddie and Cook, who couldn’t take their eyes off of this fascinating new development. Cook was becoming increasingly jealous, while Freddie seemed to find the situation strange. Effy, on the other hand, watched eagerly. Effy wanted nothing more than to watch Tiff kiss JJ.

“Sorry, what?” JJ blurted out, laughing so as to offset his growing fear.

“I said, do you want to kiss me?” Tiff asked softly, not missing a beat.

“Uh, well, yes!” JJ stammered, “But, is that an offer, or…?”

“Of course it is,” Tiff nodded, slowly moving towards him as she sat on her knees beside him on the couch. “Would you like me to kiss you?”

JJ’s blue eyes were now locked on Tiff’s, completely frozen. He had no idea what to do or say, and frankly, he was afraid one wrong move would wake him from this splendid dream.

“Y-Yes,” JJ concluded, accepting the fact that his first kiss would be with Tiffany Wheeler, in front of his friends, “Yes.”

“Ask nicely,” Tiff smiled.

“Please,” JJ whined, surprising even himself. “Please, please kiss me, Tiff,” he pleaded with her, as Effy grinned, sitting forward in her seat.

“As you wish,” Tiff said softly.

JJ prepared himself, unsure of what to expect. He had expected a very innocent, almost platonic sort of kiss, with the two of them hardly touching; a sweet peck on the lips for the sake of allowing him a first kiss. But what JJ got shocked him. Instead of going the simple route, Tiff swung her leg over JJ’s body, sinking down in his lap as Freddie nearly jumped up out of his seat.

Cook’s eyes widened hungrily as he watched Tiff straddling his friend, hand subconsciously sliding down his lap. He couldn’t believe his eyes. For a moment, the spliff made him question whether any of this was even happening at all. But it most certainly and unmistakably was. Freddie gave in and applauded JJ as he looked up at Tiff on his lap, too stunned to move. Effy was more than entertained.

“Don’t be afraid,” Tiff offered, slowly pressing JJ’s hands, which had been hovering, onto her waist.

He grinned ear to ear with excitement, looking nothing if not grateful.

“Do you want to touch my ass?” Tiff whispered in his ear.

JJ pulled away, nodding quickly. “Please.”

Smirking proudly, Tiff slid his hands down to where he gripped her behind, slowly finding his confidence as his friends laughed and cheered. Tiff leaned in again, equally enjoying the shared moment of pleasure.

“Are you hard?” she asked huskily.

JJ looked petrified.

“Yes,” he confessed.

Tiff nodded, grabbing him by his hair as he felt another warm, tingly sensation, signaling to him that he was enjoying himself.

“Good,” she whispered to him.

He looked right into her dark eyes, his own eyes heavy as he began to pant softly. JJ was beginning to feel overstimulated as she sat on top of him, but in the best way. She could feel him squeezing her ass as he allowed her to sink down on top of him, the both of them feeling each other even through clothing.

“Please, Tiff,” he begged. “Kiss me.”

Before JJ had to say anything else, Tiff pulled him in by the collar of his shirt, pressing a harsh kiss to his lips. JJ was initially stiff, unsure of how to reciprocate, but eventually, he felt his instincts kick in. The kiss was equally rough and loving. Tiff didn’t like to kiss with tongue, but she made sure the kiss was still fully engaging as they shared a series of breathy kisses.

Just as JJ began to feel himself getting carried away, his hands moving up to grope her breasts, Tiff pulled away. At first, JJ was startled and was convinced he’d done something wrong before she spoke.

“Open your mouth,” Tiff instructed.

JJ gulped. He had no idea what was about to happen, but strangely, he relished that feeling. JJ politely opened his mouth, staring up at her obediently. Tiff grinned as she grabbed his jaw and spit in his mouth. Freddie nearly gasped aloud. Effy just smiled, pleasantly surprised as Cook leaned forward, tempted to palm himself over his pants.

“Swallow,” Tiff said calmly.

Nodding quickly, JJ obliged and swallowed, eyes still completely trained on her.

“Thank you,” JJ breathed, as Tiff just leaned forward and pressed another kiss to his lips, a sweet peck on the lips.

“Good boy,” she said, before swinging around on his lap so that she was facing everyone else once again.

As if nothing had even happened, everyone continued with their conversation from earlier before eventually deciding to head out to a pub after Effy, Tiff, and Cook all took more mushrooms. Tiff headed out before Cook and JJ, as Cook stopped her in front of the shed behind Freddie and Effy.

“Tiff,” Cook called after her.

Tiff turned, as Cook pulled her aside.

“Tiffy,” Cook huffed with desperation, “I need a shag. Right now,” he said, about to undo his belt.

“Cook,” Tiff scoffed, looking around in Freddie’s yard, “No.”

“Tiffy,” he protested in a needy manner.

“Cook!” she scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Fuck off.”

Cook pouted as he ran off after Freddie, leaving Tiff at the shed with JJ.

“Tiff,” he said nervously.

“JJ,” she smiled, her high creating beautiful visuals within the sunlight around him.

“Sorry about Cook,” JJ apologized, seeming genuinely troubled. “He’s… horny,” he offered sheepishly, unable to come up with a better word.

“It’s nothing,” she assured him, “I’m used to it.”

JJ looked at her sadly. “You deserve better,” he offered honestly.

Tiff frowned sympathetically. “I don’t want better,” she admitted.

“But… why?” he wondered, genuinely confused.

“Better’s boring,” she told him, as they walked together. “Besides. I’m not as good as I seem, JJ.”

He tried to find a way to dispute her claim, but as he kept searching for reasons, he began to realize that he didn’t really understand people at all. Especially her.

“Sometimes I don’t understand what makes someone good, and what makes them bad,” JJ said, sounding troubled.

“Sometimes, it just depends on what you want to see,” Tiff offered, before taking his hand. “Come on. Let’s go get drunk.”

JJ knew that when it came to Tiff, he just had to accept this. JJ squeezed her hand as they walked off together.

-

part nine.

[dingodad]

does every planet with sapient life have a first guardian, or only planets destined to play The Game?

if every sapient planet capable of playing The Game has a first guardian, do you think HIC had to kill those first guardians? do you think she also has a trophy mount of all the first guardians she killed, a la jake "poppop" harley?

do you think deltritus will have a first guardian, manufactured or otherwise?

does gracillia have a first guardian, and if it doesnt, what would it look like if it did?

the word is that "Every planet destined for intelligent life" has a first guardian. this has commonly been reinterpreted as only including planets that will play host to sessions of Sburb, partially because we observe that first guardians are born from ectobiology and arrive on their homeworlds via frog temple meteor, but I've never been enticed by this reasoning because you have to remember that ectobiology is pretty much just supposed to mimic genuine biology. all of the comic's protagonists being created ectobiologically doesn't mean that's how ALL humans are born, so it's not particularly out there to suggest that most first guardians come into being through some natural means as well. in fact the linked page even tells us "each has a unique, circuitous origin through the knots of paradox space", without mentioning ectobiology specifically, so the door is wide open for first guardians to be created by other means.

that being said this page does also tell us that a first guardian "facilitate[s] the planet's ultimate purpose", and knowing what we know about Homestuck's cosmology it doesn't seem like a huge leap to presume that the ultimate purpose of most intelligent life IS the creation of new universes via Sburb. but given that most of the first guardians we're aware of - like most organisms in general - are kind of just stupid animals with no broader awareness of their purpose, it's a little difficult to believe that Becquerel or GCat were actually able to deliberately guide the Earth in any particular direction. so there's a strong argument to be made that all these things go hand in hand but it's far from concrete. and it's interesting to think about edge cases. like, those countless worlds which had presumably yet to fulfil their ultimate purpose when the Tumor blew up.

i think the trolls probably do encounter a lot of first guardians in their space conquest, but I doubt it's the Condesce who personally has to deal with any of them, since her initial visits to alien worlds are usually "cordial" and full-scale invasion doesn't take place until after she's left. I have actually put thought into this before cus if we run with the assumption that most first guardians are in fact just animals then the fact that the Alternian military has an entire arm dedicated to animal communion kind of makes the process of subduing one into a total joke LOL. Tavros and Condy never had even a little bit of trouble taking control of Becquerel or GCat. it feels super plausible that this was even part of the reason the Cavalreapers were established in the first place.

Deltritus I honestly think is a tossup. Dirk is very obviously already Doc Scratching it up in terms of the planet literally having a guardian (with Rose and Terezi as second guardians/aunties) so a highly involved first guardian would be pretty much redundant. but with Dirk trying to replicate the key elements of Homestuck it wouldn't surprise me if creating one of those was also in his agenda, and if Deltritus IS heading toward a Sburb session for real then the established pattern would seem to dictate that they'll end up getting a first guardian anyway. all depends on whether the story wants to dedicate any time to that concept, and at this stage they could take it or leave it.

Gracilia does have a first guardian. I don't know if the trolls have ever come across it though. at the very least it wasn't a significant factor in colonisation. Becquerel was willing to sacrifice himself to blow up one meteor to save Jade but even that's really just because he was an especially loyal creature. can you really imagine he would become relevant if flying saucers descended upon London or something. imagine if the first guardian of Earth was like, a whale. how long would it take aliens to realise that the Earth happened to have ONE teleporting whale using space powers to warp krill into its mouth or whatever. this is basically what we're looking at with Gracilia's first guardian

[drconstellation]

Obligatory Reminders and Crossing the Lines

Have you been wondering why Shax tries to do a mail delivery to Crowley as he escorts the shop keepers to safety from Aziraphale's Eldritch Ball? It seems a pretty random thing to do at that moment.

SHAX: I brought your mail. CROWLEY: Why? SHAX: It stacks up by the front door. CROWLEY: Keep it for now, not a good time.

It's not the first time Shax has tried to give Crowley his mail. We first see her hand a pile over on the park bench in S2E1, while they have an introductory spy vs. spy catch up, in St James Park.

SHAX: I brought your mail. CROWLEY: Anything interesting? SHAX: Bills, mostly. I don't understand why they won't just deliver them to your car. CROWLEY: Send the bills to Hell's finance office. SHAX: I did. They say they can't accept my signature as your replacement.

Bills, mostly. That aren't being accepted by Hell's finance office, unless Crowley signs them. And they expect to find him in the official residence of Hell's ambassador plenipotentiary to this corner of Earth, in Mayfair.

Next, we see Crowley redefining all that mail as "junk" and discarding it.

uh huh. Lets ignore the conveniently placed disposal unit for the moment...

We need to stop and define what those "bills" actually are. Because they are not actually the financial type of bills. Well, they could be. But this is the GOmens AU, so they have a second meaning as well. Paying your bills is also meeting your duties and obligations to another party, and this is something Crowley is refusing to do right now.

I don't think its as simple as Hell being short staffed and they just haven't got around to doing the change over (I know I suggested the latter recently, sorry) and that's why they aren't recognizing Shax's signature. It's that Hell actually hasn't let Crowley go - he is still "on the books," so to speak, despite all that has been said and done since the Nope-ocalypse. He might call himself a "former demon," and he might call Hell his "former side," but that is definitely NOT how Hell sees it, despite the fact they aren't harassing him or giving him tasks to do.

Actually, that should be haven't been harassing him, because since Gabriel "disappeared," they have been back on his case. The mail is a warning sign, but Lord Beelzebub's summons really should have given you the chills.

Crowley protests that they had a "generalized understanding" that he would be left alone, but Beelzebub declares that "we don't."

Ah. So all is not as it appears. They are just playing nice because they want something (Gabriel) and in reality Crowley's position in relation to Hell really is fragile. Yet outwardly he seems more worried about Aziraphale.

It goes downhill from here. Shax begins to stalk him.

This image of Shax is just delish. The sharp "V" of her her decolletage reminds us of a stork's bill, her avatar animal, and it's stabbing down at the snake on her belt. She might be seeking the Frog Prince who escaped Heaven but she's also got a certain snake in her sights.

Shax can't can't cross the threshold of the bookshop without an invitation from Aziraphale. This plays into the old belief that supernatural creatures such as vampires, demons and faeries can only enter a house if invited in. We also see this extended to the Bentley, once "ownership" is extended to the angel, but the door of the bookshop is the important border here for now.

Then have this threat of war being declared:

War on Aziraphale, not Crowley, as they still consider Crowley to be on Hell's side. They don't see it the way Crowley does as Us and Them, to Shax there is still only Heaven and Hell.

So we come back to the second round of mail delivery:

Crowley is about to escort the human shopkeepers to safety and Shax confronts Crowley right on the threshold with his duties and obligations. He really doesn't want to have that conversation right now, not here and not with Shax. As far as he is concerned, he has no obligations to Hell any more, and he's not taking any notice of their demands in any form, either, so Shax may as well just get out of the way and take the mail with them.

And with that, Crowley crosses the threshold, leading the humans out.

At this point in the story you might be asking what's the big deal about that? Crowley has been going in and out over that doorstep several times a day lately, and has crossed it hundreds of times over the last couple of centuries since the bookshop was built. It's not a barrier to him.

The significance of this boundary line has been highlighted to us in S2. We have Shax actually telling us that she knows she can't cross the "threshold" in S2E3, then she asks again in S2E5 where the boundary line is just before Mr Brown is hauled off into the demon Legion. But its even more than that.

On one level its the line that Crowley has drawn for himself. He's not going back to Hell if he can at all help it, and he's quite resolute about that. It's his side or no one's side, from there on in. He reinforces that when talking to Aziraphale in the Final Fifteen.

On another level, I'm wondering if we could consider this a step on the eponymous Hero's Journey? Crossing the Threshold is one of the early stages of the journey where the hero crosses into danger or the unknown. We're shown things aren't normal outside by the mist and green light. Then he diverts off unexpectedly to Heaven with Muriel. Just throwing it out there to see if its worth exploring a bit further. I'd say we've only got the early stages of the journey in S2, with the remainder to come in S3.

[salty-croissants]

if your still taking requests, can you do a Bullfrog and Rayman/ramon of their S/O is Pregnant? if you can't that's okay

Thank you for the request !

I apologize for taking longer than usual , I found myself in need of a break since I was feeling a bit too uninspired to write :,T

Anyway I’ve never really written anything for a pregnant reader before , so this was a pretty fun challenge :,) 

Hope it turned out okay ! 

Details : use of female reader ( thought I’d go for that given the prompt , hopefully that’s alright ! ) ;

established relationships ; 

no warnings needed 

Bullfrog 💚

Deep down , Bullfrog still can’t believe he is actually going to become a dad …

While he is definitely worried about how he is going to keep you and your future child ( or children :> ) safe , this frog is still really looking forward to start a family with you , and he will remind you of this a lot .

< y/n , my dear , I’m just so grateful to have you by my side , you know ?

I’m so happy about our child , je ne peux pas attendre … >

He is the absolute best at taking care of you , using all the spare time he gets when he isn’t out for missions to be there anytime you need something , no matter how small .

< I’m back mon amour ! 

Here , I brought you some more food in case you get hungry , and I also made some tea while I was at it . > 

< Thank you honey ! This is exactly what I needed , you’re amazing ~ > 

When you’re feeling a bit fatigued , Bullfrog loves to just rest by your side , with the two of you often falling asleep into each other’s arms .

And if you ever try to stay up anyway , well … your partner is very good at persuading you to do otherwise .

< Hmm … I’m not that tired , sweetie … we can still … talk , or maybe do … something else … > 

< Non y/n , you need to get some sleep … you had a long day today , and I don’t want you to stress yourself too much . 

I’m going to be right here with you mon cher , so don’t worry , alright ? > 

< Heh , alright , thanks Bullfrog … 

Oof , give me a second , the little one is starting to feel heavy … > 

Your beloved assassin adores those simple moments of intimate bliss he gets with you , and whenever he occasionally opens his eyes to check on you he can’t help but feel an overwhelming happiness , knowing that you’re the person that he’s going to share a family with …

Despite the uncertainty of your futures , Bullfrog knows that as long as you’re with him , there will always be hope for him somehow .

Rayman 🧡

Oh boy is he excited ! 

Rayman loves children , so the mere thought that he’s going to have a kid with you fills him with joy …

He never thought that he’d be able to have something like this in his life , given the way people see him despite his popularity , so you better believe that he will be showering you with affection … even more than usual . 

< Oh y/n , sometimes I still can’t believe this is happening , y’know ?

I just … god , I love you so much ~ > 

Unfortunately , I honestly doubt the Directors would show much care about the fact that their star’s partner is going through a pregnancy …

They need Rayman to be on the show , that’s what matters most to them , so as much as he hates the idea of leaving you alone he doesn’t have much of a choice …

< Damn it …

I’m so sorry … if I could stay with you I would , but the Directors … > 

< Hey it’s alright hun , I’m just gonna lay here and rest until you come back , I should be just fine . > 

< Mm … well , maybe I can convince them to let me go home earlier than usual : I don’t want anything to happen to you because I couldn’t be here , y/n … I … I would never forgive myself … > 

< Ray , love … you worry too much . 

Now come here , I didn’t forget about your goodbye kiss ~ > 

< Heh , thank you y/n … mm … ~ 

I’ll be here as soon as I can , I promise . > 

During the immensely frustrating hours where he can’t be with you , Rayman is still going to remain in contact with you by calling you and sending you texts … a lot .

“Hey sweetie ! 

This should be the last interview for today , I can’t wait to see you ! ❤️

How do you feel ? I remember yesterday night you couldn’t sleep much , did you manage to get some rest ? Oh , you should also remember to drink some water if you haven’t already , it really is important , especially now !”

“Hi Ray ! ❤️

I’m okay , don’t worry , I got some sleep and that really helped a lot !

I think our child is happy you’re coming home … I can feel it kicking since I begun writing you this message ! 

We’ll both be waiting for you ❤️❤️”

After Rayman gets home , I hope you’re prepared to be showered with love and affection for the rest of the day :

he just can’t express how much he missed you , from your voice to your beautiful face … you just make him so happy , and knowing that you’re about to start a family together is just everything he could possibly need .

Ramon 🖤

1 Now that he doesn’t have to care about his job or the orders of the Directors , you better believe that Ramon is never , ever going to leave your side , especially now that you’re pregnant .

He is terrified at the idea of losing his one chance of finding happiness in his otherwise bleak existence … he won’t allow that to happen .

< y/n , where are you going ? > 

< Ah , I’ll be right back Ram , I just wanted to go for a quick walk just outside , my legs are a bit sore and - > 

< I’m coming with you . > 

< You don’t have to do that , love … I know the wounds you got yesterday while fighting those Eden guys still hurt , you should rest . > 

< I don’t … care about that . I need to be there for you . I need to keep you and our child safe .

Please y/n … you’re all I have . > 

< Okay , okay … we’ll go together , hun . I won’t leave you . > 

< Thank you … > 

He finds it especially comforting to gently rest his head on your stomach , listening to the baby’s occasional small movements beneath … 

It’s in little tender moments like these that Ramon can finally put his mind at ease , momentarily forgetting about Eden and the mess you’re in .

< Does this hurt , darling ? > 

< Hmm ? 

Oh no , it doesn’t ! Don’t worry about it …

It actually feels very nice ~ 

Ramon’s mind often gets crowded with unwelcome thoughts about what kind of life will he be able to provide to your kid , given the critical situation you’re currently both in , and as much as he tries to keep those feelings to himself you’re able to understand what’s on his mind . 

< I know you’re worried about our future , I am too … but I just know things will be alright for all three of us . > 

< How do you know that … ? > 

< Oh , that’s easy Ram : 

I have you here with me , and that’s all I need to keep on going !

It’s not going to be easy , but I know we can face what comes next if we stick together , and we’ll be able to make our child grow happily in a good place . > 

< Heh … you always know how to make me feel better , y/n .

I love you so much , you know that … ? > 

< I love you too Ramon … trust me , we are going to be okay . > 

[elizabethrobertajones]

Bounding Frog's Yeet Abilities Rankings

(AKA Lizzy is feeling too sick to do any meaningful content)

26: Trajectory

The reason I started even thinking about doing these rankings in the first place. A true nadir of the artform, when they took away the damage, yet I still keep hitting it on cooldown in combat because I have played approximately half my hundreds of thousands of hours in this game on Gunbreaker.

It's just this:

Scoot. Or, well, it has two charges. Scoot Scoot mid rotation.

25: Thunderclap

Used constantly in combat and has zero frills because you WILL press it 100 times a fight and don't want to think about it. Used on friend and foe alike, good range, very flexible and so many charges for darting around. Technically perhaps the best.

While eminently practical, both its name and effect sound and look like a fart.

Starts with a dramatic lean in:

.... poot:

Anyway you don't want to think about this one more than you have to.

24: Repelling Shot:

It says it's a shot, but it doesn't do any damage and you don't release an arrow. Has the same blue effect as Shukuchi so I'm starting to add up that this is a generic moment spell, in this case, adorably levitating you. As someone who got really into Claude FireEmblemThreeHouses (wow what a surname to marry into >.>) it DOES appeal to me aesthetically. The fact it yeets you backwards from the enemy and you USED to have to run up to it from a ranged position in order to yeet made it really specific, but now you can do it from a moderate range, which has made it much more practical, and I'm having fun with it.

23: Aetherial Shift:

Enjoying learning to use a wind-aether job to fly, the effect is understated and the pose pretty. This gap closer is a nice addition for making this job even more practical when it's already one of the best, and makes Astrologian so so tragic for still not having Urianger's teleport (honorary mention for scholar's expedience since it's great but not a gap closer, or any sort of jump per say.)

Also it's wind aspected and doesn't look like a fart which is such a low bar I didn't realise that once I started actually looking at the poses I'd be weeping over.

Thinking of:

22: Shukuchi

Absolutely classic ninja move of throwing down a smoke bomb and teleporting away while they're coughing and distracted. 10/10 for vibes, loses a point for floor targeting when I'm panicking but gains it back when I have the presence of mind to use it for cool evasions and positioning.

By necessity it's a pretty low key effect which disappears you entirely except for your fart cloud. Which is an intentional effect so it's fine this time. Honestly the blue aether effects could be done without and just fully lean in but this IS a form of wizard so we have to nod to that and reveal it's not all practical effects and a trick of the eye, and you ARE literally disappearing into the shadow.

While we're on the subject of shadows and wizards...

21 and 20: Between The Lines and Aetherial Manipulation

On account of always screaming while pressing buttons like this I hadn't even noticed they HAD an animation up until this point. Black Mage is about watching gauges and ignoring orange circles on the ground.

These two have the exact same animation with ourple orbs for Lines and Aetherial Manip is geen!

And the animation? SLIDE FORWARDS IN THE AIR LIKE YOUR SLEEP PARALYSIS DEMON LEVITATING AT YOU.

19: En Avant

For the Pretty Job With Pretty effects, this one is again very low key, maybe because you have 3 charges and are using it constantly as you dart prettily about the arena. There's nothing WRONG with it, it's just... there... and ranking lower BECAUSE Dancer is often SO overtly pretty that this ranks low just in comparison with your other abilities in the job, rather than ranked against others.

I also learned that you shouldn't wear full plate while dancing because all the abilities are sort of assuming you have exposed skin and can stretch all the surfaces way more. This looks weird. I'm not stripping Frog just to do these rankings though.

18: Forked Raiju

I don't know why, but I keep both this and Fleeting Raiju on my bars, maybe because this one briefly locks you in place if you're casting it while up close, while the other would give you mobility if you were already within range so theoretically it would be a better choice when running around in circles doing ninja stuff per the way my old fc leader played. However, in practice, I almost never am in a position where casting it is going to be less preferable because I move when I have positionals or something's actually happening, so it's the primary lighting attack for me and makes hunt marks really funny until a knee high brick wall arrests my progress :')

It looks fine while you're watching Frog yeet all about the screen, but you twist like a corkscrew as you do so, so all the screenshots of it in motion have poor Frog completely pretzeled up

17: Intervene

Okay time for a series of tank ones, all roughly the same weighting on this scale. Personally I am a real fan of the devotion of a good paladin and their earnest attempts to protect you. But on the other hand the other two have better aesthetics on rankings which take into effect coolness rather than a stalwart heart. Alas, the true of heart never can win.

This one still does damage (yippeee) and looks like a mini passage of arms as you shoot yourself shield first at an enemy.

Unfortunately, on the scale I didn't realise I would be ranking anything on, it leaves behind a smoke ring in the arse-adjacent area.

Poot [supersonic].

16: Shadowstride

Boooo give me back my damage.

On the other hand, I can't even remember the aesthetics of the previous ability but this does look really cool!

First: transform yourself into a shadow of your former self, possibly turning your entire being into some glowing malevolent orbs:

Second: scoot (your feet will leave delorean tracks of shadow as you go)

Third: reemerge changed by your time in the Shadowrealm:

15: Onslaught

Warrior got to keep the damage, AND this is objectively hilarious. Ability which says "FUCK YOU" (*scribbles everywhere with an angry crayon in your wake*)

^ Pictured: Bounding Frog shoulder checking a Karen out of the way in the frozen produce section in order to obtain the largest whole dodo for Starlight dinner

14: Icarus

It looks really funny with no spell effects btw. Right up there in the "I am currently falling over" rankings with Forked Raiju

Anyway this is as practical as the Monk one but with only one charge, but DID introduce the concept of gap closing healers since this is a close range brawler of a job despite its vaunted origins (the auto attack is the cutest little punch). It super beats out the Monk one, however, because of the spell effects.

Outta the way, gayboy, I'm going to invent new kinds of hubris they'll name after me

(bonus point for this specific glam, where the beams come out of the guns)

13: Smudge

(just starting to realise this is a great cat name resource too)

I did deduct many points because it's NOT "red goes fast" but on the other hand, it's green which is wind aether, so we're painting the CONCEPT of the new WHM gap closer, AND it comes with a sprint. I love nothing more than riding around on a slimy streak of conceptual speed.

Hit the picture limit with picto, possibly because they could not contain all the painting emanating from that one image, so I'll continue in a reblog. After a revelation to come I MAY have got all these numbers hideously wrong because I am nothing if not completely blind to numerical values.

[lilypadlys]

Ghouls at the Aquarium

Headcanons about the ghouls at the aquarium. Inspired by a trip to the Shed Aquarium in Chicago. Had to shout it out because it was so frickin amazing. No one ask me my favorite exhibit because I will say all of them. But also definitely the belugas and the jellyfish.

Cirrus: She loves the dolphins. As serious and strict as she sometimes is, she’s like a kid at Christmas when the group reaches the dolphin enclosure. She admires how smart they are as well as how sleek they look darting through the water. And yes she knows what little shits they can be and she doesn't care. She still thinks they’re neat. She plans the day around making sure to catch the dolphin show at least twice. Cumulus buys her a dolphin plushie and she just about melts into a happy puddle.

Cumulus: As much as Cirrus loves dolphins, Cumulus loves beluga whales. She thinks they look majestic. And huggable. She would hug one if she could. The rest of the girls booked a behind the scenes beluga experience for her and they got to see them up close, feed them, and even pet them. By the end of it they’re all giggling at how cute the beluga’s are.

Sunshine: She thinks the lionfish are neat and likes how their spines look like sunbursts. Kinda sad that they’re an invasive species but understands why work to remove them from the wrong areas is important for the marine ecosystem. Gets a postcard from the gift shop with a picture of one to put in her room.

Aurora: She spent a solid half an hour sitting in front of the moon jellyfish tank watching them. It was one of those circular tanks that have a slight current to gently cause the jellies to drift in a circle. That and the color changing light had her mesmerized. She would have spent longer watching them but the others literally pulled her away so she could see the rest of the aquarium.

Dewdrop: He wasn't too sure about it at first. The aquarium kind of dredged up some melancholy and yearning for his water ghoul days. He's happy as a fire ghoul for sure, it suits him better. He definitely misses his water though. Fortunately he warms up to it; seeing how excited Rain and Phantom are playing a big part. He can’t help but crack a smile when Phantom starts mimicking the penguins. He ends up loving the eels and the caimans. Joins Rain in naming all this fish, offering increasingly unhinged suggestions.

Rain: His unglamoured form is pretty sharklike so it's not surprising that Rain has a fondness for sharks. The pile of shark plushies on his bed definitely isn’t a tip off either. Besides the sharks, Rain likes pretty much every exhibit. He gives silly names to every fish that catches his eye with help from Dew and discusses which fish would taste the best with Swiss much to the horror of the other patrons.

Mountain: He really likes the sea dragons because they look like plants. He didn’t know they were a thing until seeing them at the aquarium for the first time. Also really interested in the aquatic plants (of course) and the frogs and turtles.

Aether: He really likes the manta rays. He thinks they’re so cute. Loves how it looks like they’re flying through the water. Way too excited about getting to pet them but it's endearing.

Swiss: Phantom actually saw the piranhas before Swiss did, took one look between the two of them and dubbed them cousins. Swiss did not help his case by immediately baring his teeth in a grin. He then proceeded to chase Phantom around the room threatening to nibble on him while Phantom giggled. That is until Cirrus put a stop to that so they didn’t get kicked out.

Phantom: Loves absolutely everything but also the penguins and starfish. He asks the staff a million questions and they’re happy to answer every one. Leaves the gift shop with a stack of books on ocean facts that he and Rain end up reading aloud the whole ride home.

[alexanderwales]

The Hero is Finally Doing my Sidequest

The party was four people, but there were twelve of us all told. Kyper was the leader, the protagonist, the Chosen One, our assigned hero, so he was always there with his sword in hand and cape swirling behind him. Gendin was a big, blocky guy with thick armor, a heavy shield, and an incongruous little kitchen knife that couldn't have been longer than six inches. Merrith was the party's cleric, light and shadow coming from the hoop on top of her staff, a second-rate healer but with a high amount of versatility.

There were a handful of people that usually occupied the fourth slot. Cardi was an archer, always there if the party was going up against fliers. Terrent was an elemental mage, mostly used to counter affinities. Against humans, it was usually Dennin, who was a skulk-thief, unless they were mind-controlled, in which case it was Tathia, who could use her martial arts to take them down without killing them. Occasionally someone who wasn't even on the roster would join up for a time, but usually not more than a day or two.

Where were the rest of us, when the four members of the party were doing their thing? Good question.

I had the sense of being there, but could never place myself. After the fact, if asked, I would say things like 'we fought the wyvrens', but if you asked me what I had done -- which no one ever did -- I would have been puzzled and unable to explain, even if I was able to recount the blow-by-blow of what the party had done, every sword stroke, every claw against shield, every shout that lingered in the air. Where was I? There, I suppose. I must have been. I traveled with Kyper, didn't I?

Whenever we stopped to rest, I was much more clearly present. Kyper would always make his rounds, and he would always speak to me, and I would feel warmth in my chest and the small hairs raising on my arms. There was something electric about him. We all felt the pull of him, and it was hard to hold back a flirtateous tone -- for me, the rest of the girls, and a few of the men. Kyper liked to give gifts, even if they were small, and whenever we broke to rest that became a part of his visits. At first it had been things I didn't know what to do with, a little acorn or one time a live frog, but on one occasion he gave me blueberries, and I had blushed and asked if he was sure. Every time after that, he had blueberries on hand for me. They reminded me of my childhood and summers spent in the hinterlands, though I never had occasion to tell him. The gift was always the same, but it never stopped giving me a warm, fuzzy feeling. He had noticed my reaction and then gone out of his way to give me something I liked, and it was that, more than the blueberries or the summer memories, that made me blush every time.

In the scheme of the world, I was special. I had been born from a crystalline fragment of a god that had fallen down to land in the woods, and been raised by the Winter King as the Lightning Princess. I had power that most people could only dream of: I could run across water without getting wet, twist myself high up into the sky, clap like a thunderbolt, and glow with pale blue arcs of electricity.

In the scheme of the roster, I was dirt. I could fight in the air and at range, and I was the fourth best person at both those roles. I could use the lightning coursing through my veins to resuscitate people in a pinch, and I was the worst of the five of us -- Barbarelle could bring a person back healthier than they'd been the day before and with their clothes repaired to boot. I could take a hit, but not that many of them, and I could fight, but not as well as the others. We were each supposed to have our niche, but I had none. Maybe that was my role, to be the all-arounder, jack of all trades and master of none, but if that was it, it was a role that consigned me to eternally sit on the sidelines.

Was I actually there for any of it? I thought about that a lot. It might have been that I only existed in those moments when Kyper was talking to me or giving me another handful of blueberries.

There was one time the team had to split in two, when we became separate parties of four attempting to achieve two mission objectives at the same time. I watched as Kyper made the parties. I wasn't on either of them. One party went north to the shield generator, while the other party went south, to the castle walls. Where was I? Both places. Neither. No one ever talked to me about that experience. I never mentioned it to Kyper. I think it was then I realized that I would never have anything to do, that my life would exist only while resting in inns or at campfires, and then only to get blueberries.

Eventually I stopped believing that I would somehow make the party. I stopped hoping for it. I was growing stronger the more we adventured, and every now and then I would find myself in a new outfit I didn't remember picking up with a collection of throwing stars that was sharper than the ones that had come before, but it was all irrelevant.

Someday, Kyper was going to complete his quest. Maybe I would know who I was then. Maybe I would be there, for one last party, before the team dissolved. I no longer had illusions that he was going to make me his wife.

And then, as it seemed like we were about to go after M'ok Tannid the Ancient and bring about the end of prophecies, I found myself standing in my hometown.

I looked with shock on the thatched-roof cottages and the fir trees that had been bent by the wind. The smell of smoke reached my nostrils, birch in the fireplaces, a faint whiff of meats being preserved. I knew this village, Thanholm. I had been here with my father, before his illness.

"Is everything okay, Titania?" asked Kyper. He was looking at me with a furrowed brow.

I looked back at him. He was looking at me. Gendin was beside him, looking at the village, and Merrith was adding yet another carving to her staff in that bored, disinterested way she seemed to do everything.

There was no one else.

I was in the party.

"I ... this is my home country," I said.

"Oh," said Kyper, seeming relieved by this for some reason. "Well you're going to be our guide then, okay?"

"Okay!" I said with an enthusiastic bark I didn't feel.

We walked into the town together, the four of us, my first time in the party since we'd met. I felt the ground beneath my feet, the wind in my hair, and the lightning in my spine. I was real, whole.

Whatever happened next, I knew I had only one goal: I wanted to make this last as long as I possibly could.

[asteria7fics]

Do you have any silly headcanons about the main 5?

Sure! I can list off a few!

Kyle:

Is mildly allergic to grass. Not bad enough to have a big reaction, but he gets a little congested in the summer when someone has just mowed their lawn, and his skin gets more irritated than most if he sits in grass for too long.

Spends way too much time on Reddit white knighting and explaining in excruciating, condescending detail why, in fact, OP is in the wrong. You will see 69ingchipmunks as an active participant on r/AmITheAsshole and r/AmITheDevil.

Has absolutely punched a hole in a wall at some point in his life. It’s a rite of passage that every Kyle must go through, I don’t make the rules.

Stan:

Is one of those kids that just fucking hates bathing, for a long time. He never gets so bad that he totally reeks, but he’s always a little bit greasy.

Gets annoyed when people point out or make fun of his ‘butt chin’.

For sure keeps his socks on during sex. They’re those white, tube socks with the black line at the top, by the way. And every pair has at least one hole somewhere on them.

Kenny:

Still listens to music on a shitty iPod nano that one of the other boys gave to him after they got their first smartphones, even after he has his own (busted) smartphone, too.

Wears his Mysterion suit under his regular clothes regularly and for YEARS. You know, just in case.

Gets really wasted at a party in college and wakes up with a piercing in his dick. (This actually happened to a guy I knew yes it’s as funny as it sounds).

Cartman:

I’ve mentioned this before, but as a kid he definitely smells like cheese. Like, processed fake cheese. Cheez-Wiz cheese.

Also spends too much time on Reddit, but he’s on there making a million throw away accounts to post outlandish shit just to get a reaction. He finds it incredibly hilarious when Kyle comments on his shit posts. (Sometimes he is asking for genuine advice/validation, but he’d never admit that).

Clyde Frog stays on the bed during sex.

Butters:

Definitely wets the bed well into middle school. His bed stays strapped with the waterproof lining.

Fucking LOVES VeggiTales. Watched it all the time when he was little and will still put it on when he’s older as a nostalgic comfort show.

Gets really wasted, entirely on accident, at the same party as Kenny and wakes up with a single nipple piercing. Kenny’s the one who pierced him. He never takes it out.