#Wedding Industry Professionals

[astrocafecoffee]

Destiny Matrix

(predicting some events of your life and characteristics of your fs)

• For entertainment purposes only, enjoy •

•☞ Masterlist

Guys, destiny matrix chart is So gorgeous 😭 , I fell in love. I am new to this, but it's so fascinating, so I am sharing with you guys. Obviously I learnt a lot from ann_matrix_destiny insta page. I explained some of her work here, rest is mine.

✨What is Destiny matrix chart?

-A spiritual and metaphysical chart that reveals a person's life path, soul purpose, and potential.

✨How is it calculated?

-Based on a person's birth date, using a complex system of numerology and astrological correspondences.

💫 How to see some important events of your life?

see this area(perimeter line)of your chart , this will explain many important events of your life.

💚Age of getting married/ meeting with your significant other/ spouse:

- look at your age in your chart, if you see 3,5,6,19,20 at the top of your age then at that age you will get married/ meet your significant other/ start a family. Like in this chart I have shown above '5' is top of the age of 23.5- 24, so this individual will meet their spouse at that age/ get married.

• Going through Transformation in your life :

- if you see 13 or 16 at the top of your age , then at that age your life will drastically change/ you will go through a huge transformation of your life. You will change your location/ your career/ will shift to another country or city.

⚡Moving abroad/ travelling:

If you see 7,10,21,22 above your age then this is the best age for travelling or going abroad.

if you find 21 in your love line(circled part)then most probably you will marry a foreigner.

And if you find 7, 10 , 21 or 22 in this positions then most probably you will go abroad/ find your partner there .

Now , the future spouse part : -

💖 Hints about your future partner :

Look at the number below the heart symbol to know about your future partner. In this chart it's 21.

So, let's explain each numbers -

•Number 1: The magician

- creative and innovative

- skilled and talented

- confident and charismatic

- however they may also struggled with over - confidence and arrogance.

- gemini / Virgo zodiac sign placements

- profession : musicians, writer, public speaker, coaches and mentors , scientist, entrepreneur, marketing and advertising professionals.

- meeting: conference or seminar, art galleries, meuseum, workshop or studio, networking events or industry conference, class or training session.

• Number 2 : High Priestess

- intuitive and wise

- mysterious and enigmatic

- maybe quiet and reserved.

- soft spoken and considerate.

- cancer zodiac sign placements.

- profession: councillors, therapists, psychologist, Nurse or healthcare professionals, social workers, spiritual leaders, energy workers.

- meeting: secret or private settings, libraries, coaching, weddings , meeting in the context of any spiritual retreats.

• Number 3 : Empress

- Full of life , energy and vitality.

- encouraging others to grow and flourish.

- committed, dedicated and faithful.

- Taurus and Libra zodiac sign placements.

- profession: fashion designer , sculptors, teachers and educators,event planer, environmentalists, musicians, healthcare.

- meeting through : parties, gatherings, festival, fair, creative workshops, artistic projects ,meuseum, concerts.

• Number 4 : Emperor

- Natural born leader, authoritative, commanding.

- makes tough decisions with clarity and conviction.

- commited to family and responsibilities.

- zodiac sign: Aries placements.

- profession: executive, CEO, leader or manager, military officer, architect, Engineer, government officials, buisness owner.

- meeting : buisness meeting, job interviews, formal events , official ceremonies.

• Number 5 : Hierophant

- values established customs, rituals, and institutions.

- upholds ethical standards and moral principles.

- prioritise stability and security over change and uncertainty.

- Taurus zodiac sign placements

- profession: spiritual leaders and mentors, councellor , advisor or consultants, traditional healers or healthcare professionals.

- meeting: spiritual or religious gatherings, traditional ceremonies or rituals, educational and training sessions , counciling or therapy sessions, church,temples , mosques.

• Number 6 : The lovers

- collaborative, work well others.

- empathetic and aware of others feelings.

- true to themselves and their values.

- zodiac sign: Gemini placements.

- profession: counselors, coaches , writer , journalist, artist, musicians, public speaker, philosophers , scientist, researchers.

- meeting : social getherings or parties , creative or artistic collaboration, Beauty or fashion events , community or networking meeting.

• Number 7 : The chariot

- Determined, self disciplined.

- ability to overcome any obstacles and setbacks

- has clear direction

- zodiac : cancer placements

- profession: nurses , social worker, military, architect, psychologist, chefs , nutritionist, hospitality professionals.

- Meeting: family gatherings, home or domestic settings, caregiving or helping professions.

• Number 8 : strength

- courageous, brave , have inner strength.

- has capacity to forgive and let go.

- has self discipline and self control.

- zodiac sign: leo placements

- profession: artist , designer, performers , public speaker, motivator, executives, philanthropist, teacher, councellor, athletes, trainers.

- meeting: park or garden, fitness or wellness center, creative studio or art space, festivals, social gatherings.

• Number 9 : Hermit

- quiet, reflective, and introspective often preferring to spend time alone

- serves as guide or mentor

- discerning and concious about every step they take.

- zodiac sign: Virgo placements.

- profession: therapist, counselors,teachers , coaches , writers, editors, healthcare industry, social worker.

- meeting: therapists or counselor office, library , spiritual or religious sanctuary, coffee shop , book store.

• Number 10 : wheel of fortune

- flexible, able to adjust to changing circumstances.

- believes in destiny

- have philosophical outlook on life.

- zodiac sign: Taurus, leo, scorpio, Aquarius placements.

- profession: life coach, astrologer, environmentalists, entrepreneur, investors, historians.

- meeting: a farm , airport, bus station, temple, monastery, party,park , near mountain or river.

• Number 11 : Justice

- impartial and balanced

- they make descision based on reason and logics.

- have strong sense of morality and ethics.

- zodiac sign: Libra placements

- profession: lawyer, judge, counselors, social worker, activists, advocate, journalist, analyst , or spiritual leader.

- meeting: courthouse, law office, government building, council chamber, community centre, places of worship, philosophical organization.

• Number 12 : Hanged Man

- they are reflective , look inward for answers.

- they are open to new settings.

- courageous, deep understanding of themselves.

- zodiac sign: Pisces placements

- profession : spiritual leaders, therapist, counselor , artist, writer, healthcare industry, motivator, life coach.

- meeting : temples , church , meditation room , yoga class , hospital, library, therapy office,art studio, gym.

• Number 13 : Death

- they are like phoenix from the ashes.

- they can navigate difficult situations and come out stronger.

- constantly growing and evolving.

- zodiac sign: scorpio placements

- profession: therapist, estate lawyers, spiritual leaders, scientist, healthcare professionals.

- meeting: counselling centre, place of worship, innovation hub or entrepreneurship centres, hospital, wellness center.

• Number 14 : Temperance

- they strive for equilibrium in all aspects of life .

- they prioritise physical, mental and emotional well-being.

- have creative sides.

- zodiac sign: Sagittarius placements .

- profession: doctor or nurse , therapist or counselor, artist or musicians, spiritual leader, international relation specialist , life coach , designer .

- meeting : art galleries or museums, embassies or international conference centres , community centres, clubs , parks , garden , spiritual center , yoga class.

• Number 15 : The devil

- they thinks outside the box and brings fresh ideas .

- magnetic personality, can attract others.

- unconventional, transformative.

- zodiac sign: Capricorn placements.

- profession: politician, CEO, artist, law enforcement, military, detective , investigators, activists, occultist.

- meeting: historic mansion or estate, a secret rooftop, art galleries, studio , book store, library , cafe.

• Number 16 : Tower

- they seek honesty and transparency even if it's uncomfortable.

- rebellious, resilient, revolutionary.

- they are open to new ideas.

- zodiac sign: Aries placements.

- profession : scientist, inventor, engineer, architect, military officer, crisis manager, technologist.

- meeting: transformation hub, a unique event space or art studio, bookstore, library, co-working space.

• Number 17 : Star

- they have a optimistic outlook of life and believe in a bright future.

- inspiring, peaceful, compassionate.

- creative and imaginative mind.

- zodiac sign: Aquarius placements.

- profession: creative expression, artist , industry related to healing and wellness, science and technology, humanitarian work, counselors.

- meeting: yoga studio or wellness center, botanical garden or peaceful outdoor setting, co-working space, concerts? , innovation hub.

• Number 18 : The Moon

- they trust their instincts and have a strong connection to their subconscious mind.

- deeply in touch with their emotions.

- unpredictable, may surprise other with their actions.

- zodiac sign : Pisces placements.

- profession : psychic or medium, artist or writer, musician, poet , spiritual teacher, healer, counselors.

- meeting: mystical or esoteric shop, secluded beach, art studio, a spiritual or metaphysical bookstore, coffee shop.

• Number 19 : Sun

- they exude self assurance and positivity.

- optimistic, enthusiastic, charismatic.

- warm hearted , willing to share blessings with others.

- zodiac sign: leo placements.

- profession: actor or performer, artist, CEO , teacher or mentor, event planner, musicians, life coach, designer.

- meeting: cafe / restaurant/ hotel , studio , gathering hall, auditorium, music festival.

• Number 20: Judgement

- they are introspective and willing to confront their past and inner self.

- self aware, have deep understanding of their strengths and weaknesses.

- awakened, courageous, honest.

- zodiac sign: scorpio placements

- profession : spiritual teacher or guide , therapist or counselor, life coach, researcher, artist or creative expression.

- meeting: spiritual center or temple, yoga class, a writer's workshop, park , garden , therapy or councilling office.

• Number 21: The world

- they have achieved their goals and fullfill their potential.

- compassions, wise, confident

- adventurous and global minded.( Most likely a foreigner)

- zodiac sign: Taurus, Capricorn, leo , placements.

- profession : global diplomat, artist ( global or universal theme) , cultural ambassador, world traveler, humanitarian work.

- meeting: while traveling, international conference centres , airport, spiritual retreat, international art or music venues.

• Number 22 : The fool

- they are willing to take risks and embark on new journeys.

- spontaneous, carefree , open minded.

- have faith in themselves and universe.

- zodiac sign: Aquarius placements.

- profession: entrepreneur or startup founder, activist, humanitarian work,coach or consultants, designer, scientist,teacher, journalist.

- meeting: spontaneous meet-up or pop up events, inspirational seminars, creative workshops,cafe or coffee shop, outdoor adventure location.

----------------✨✨----------------

END .....( I am tired af 😭)

☞ Healing through marriage

Thanks for reading 💓

-Piko ✨

[tightjeansjavi]

The Rite of Movement | part one

“honeymoonin’”

part two | first impressions

A/N: I ehm. May or may not have gotten the inspiration for this bc of a porn channel that I watch 🫣 this is not proofread btw! P.S this is my smutty little treat for y’all b4 I drop chapter 11 of slow hands 🥲

~word count: 1k~

Summary: the morning after your honeymoon with your pornstar husband, Joel Miller

Pairing | pornstar!husband! Joel Miller x pornstar!female reader

Warnings: smut, NSFW, mentions of the porn industry, fluff ,established relationship, husband!joel, intimacy, bush love!!, 30’s reader/40’s Joel , oral (f!receiving) Joel has a big cock (canon) silly vibes, sex tape, pet names, reader has no physical descriptions, +18, minors dni!

You and your husband Joel Miller met through the porn industry. The first time you met him before you were set to film together you were immediately hooked by his southern charm. “Well, hello gorgeous. Ain’t you jus’ the sweetest, n’prettiest thing I’ve ever had the pleasuring’ of layin’ my eyes on. Goddamn. Names Joel, and what might your name be, darlin?’” You told him your name and shook hands. After that initial meeting..You kept things professional, but everytime you did a film with him, your pussy and your heart would flutter. You had never said yes faster in your life than when Joel requested to take you out to dinner one night after a late shoot. Burgers, fries, a milkshake for two, and Joel Fuckin’ Miller’s big cock, and his Texas twang.

Once you and Joel officially started dating, you started your own porn channel together and your videos were a hit. The intimacy and chemistry on camera was never faked, and there was real love blossoming between the two of you. People loved it. There was something about casual, real intimacy that really got your viewers going.

The money earned on the films went straight to buying you an enormous rock to put on your pretty finger. Joel spoiled you in every aspect, and you were over the moon when he asked you to be his wife.

One impromptu wedding in Vegas later, Pornhub paid for your entire honeymoon to the Fiji Islands.

In the middle of the king sized bed was a gift directly from Pornhub with a new camera, toys, lube, and a congratulations letter from some of yours and Joel’s fellow adult filmmakers.

You put that camera to good use immediately.

The following morning you awoke to an empty bed, but a note left on the dresser in your husbands penmanship

Goodmornin’, babydoll. I went out for a run, but I’ll be back in a jiffy. Can’t wait to fuck my wife and then feed ya some fresh fruit, and then fuck ya some more. Oh, and I booked us couples massages later this afternoon! Love you so much, honey.

-Joel xx.

You let out a girlish giggle and kiss the note before setting it down on the nightstand.

When he returns he’s drenched in sweat that seeps through the fabric of his t-shirt that adorns his body in all the right places. He’s got that twinkle in his eye, and that dimple poking out of his cheek that you love so dearly.

“Have a nice run, baby?” You grin at him over the rim of your book as he approaches.

“Mhm. S’gonna be an absolutely gorgeous day out there.” He drawls and watches as you set your book down on the nightstand.

“Yeah? Well, I think my husband should gimme his cock so that we can go out and enjoy this gorgeous day.” You curl your pointer finger inwards in a come hither motion for him to come closer.

“Oh, you want my cock? Hmm..what a temptin’ offer that is, honeybun.” He teases.

“But I want you to strip for me first, Joel. Give your wife a little show.” You wink and reach for the camera on the nightstand and flip it on.

“A strip tease, eh? I think I can handle that.” He chuckles and reaches for the hem of his shirt and slowly pulls it over his head just as your thighs slowly spread open over the comforter and your hand slips down between them to lightly play with yourself.

He grabs the waistband of his shorts and playfully snaps it against the lower part of his stomach with a grin before he slowly tugs it down over his hips. His cock is semi-hard beneath the confines.

“Fuck.” You breathe, “I’m the luckiest woman alive.” You beckon him closer and obliges. He takes his lower lip between his teeth when your soft and warm palm wraps around the underside of his shaft, fondling him gently while you hold the camera steady in your freehand.

“Shit. Y’got that all wrong, sugar. M’the luckiest motherfucker alive with the hottest, kindest, most beautiful wife. Fuck.” He hisses between his teeth.

You giggle softly at his reaction and slowly begin to pump your hand around him and twist your wrist in a corkscrew motion.

“And this cock is all mine, right baby? Fuck, it’s so pretty. I fuckin’ love you and your cock.”

“All fuckin’ yours, sugar plum.” He groans and leans down to slot his lips with yours, slipping his tongue past your mouth in a heated, bruising kiss. His cock grows hard and heavy beneath your soft touch and he pulls away only to climb on the bed on his knees, and grab the underside of your thighs to spread you apart further.

“And this pussy is all fuckin’ mine, ain’t she?” He rasps and looks up at you and the camera that is now angled downwards.

“All fuckin’ yours, baby. And she’s absolutely dripping for you right now.”

“Can see that, honeypie.” He chuckles and nips at the sensitive skin of your inner thighs and bites down playfully. He doesn’t mind the coarse, thick, swirling hair on your pussy tickling the patches on his beard. He fucking loves you in your natural state, and he lets you know it by devouring your cunt whole. He kisses and suckles on your clit like it’s the sweetest candy he’s ever had the pleasure of tasting. His jaw goes slack as he laps up your arousal that seeps out of you like sweet honey from a hive. He groans against you, the bridge of his nose buried against the hair on your pubic bone. He inhales your scent, musky, erotic, and all you. He drinks you in, feasts, and feasts while you cry out his name.

Loving Joel Miller came easy, and while he has the biggest cock you’ve ever seen, it’s his ginormous heart that really sealed the deal for you.

When he hears the camera click shut and fall to the unoccupied space on the bed, he grins and continues to eat his favorite fucking meal; you. Until your tugging on the roots of his scalp and reaching down between his thighs to grasp his heavy cock once more and pull him into you.

Fuck your wife like you mean it, Joel.

Don’t gotta ask me twice, sugar.

banners made by the lovely @saradika 🤍

I no longer have a tag list so please follow @tightjeansjaviupdates for fic notifications and updates!

[hanasnx]

oh pornstar ani how i’ve missed you

what do u think he’d be like with a virgin? do u think he’d like it or would he rather be with someone more experienced?

-🎀

MINORS DNI 18+

ADULTFILM!ANAKIN SKYWALKER prefers someone more experienced. There’s a frailty to a virgin that's difficult to get around, and since he’s impatient and far from a teacher, he doesn’t want to have to drag someone through the process. There's a lot of messiness that can come with being someone's first. Someone with experience can bring a lot of unspoken trust, professionalism, and conversation to the table which helps blend the pair together. Especially because Anakin has a nasty habit of taking things too far, he needs someone with the ability to say no in the moment before he gets carried away. It’s not that he hates virgins, dislikes them, or thinks they’re useless, he just prefers experienced co-stars.

However, there’s been an exception: you, a virgin porn-star. You’ve been laughed at in this industry, endlessly and you’ve learned to take the joke. A virgin porn-star sounds like an oxymoron if you've ever heard one. You do at-home stuff from the safety of your own camera and PC, stuff with anal beads and dildos you order off Bad Dragon. A live show occurs every so often. Of course you’re not an expert, but that’s the point. Your whole schtick online is that you’re clueless to angles, and performances.

Your comment section is a slew of dudes asking invasive questions. Do you have a boyfriend, are you waiting for your wedding day, does he know you do this depraved shit late at night for strangers to thirst over? Do you know that you're a minority here, that you'll never get farther than a glorified over-rated amateur? When will you lose your virginity and just get over with? But they're the same guys that jack off to your virtuous pussy on full display to the camera you bought with the money you made off this demographic.

No, you've never had a boyfriend, but that doesn't mean you can't explore yourself... Besides, you think it's fun that guys clamber to beg to be your first. One comment in particular had you thinking real hard. "You should film me fucking that pretty pussy for the first time... that'll get you a lot of views." When you'd started this account, you were sure you would've lost your virginity in the traditional way. Meet a great guy, go out, he sweeps you off your feet, and you go home with him, happily ever after. But you're getting along, and now getting it over with doesn't sound too bad, especially at the prospect of commercializing an asset you didn't realize you were sitting on.

So you campaigned it. You'd mention it any chance you got. On your profile, in your social media bios, in your videos, you let people know you were looking to break into the professional side of the industry. You didn't wanna be a virgin making home videos anymore, you want a job and you want your audience to pick who plucks that sacred coveted flower.

Until one day: "I've got a guy for you." You stare at that message a long time.

Anakin's not one to shy away from a job outside his comfort zone, especially when his director calls in a favor. So he helps you get situated as a courtesy, "This isn't like making your videos in your bedroom, don't be fooled by the pressure." His large hand takes yours and places it on his forearm, you try to ignore how thick and corded it feels under your palm as he pats it with your hand. "Give me a double tap like that if you need to stop. Anywhere you can reach." You nod, and give an uneasy look around the room that had a lot more people in it than you're used to, this is a set after all. You start to regret how famous your initial posts went.

"Hey." Firmly, he grips you chin, redirecting your gaze onto him. "Don't look at them, look at me. I'm the one that's gonna be inside you, alright?" His tone is perfectly casual, as if he's explained this a thousand times. You nod again. Why are you actually excited for this stranger to take your virginity?

[leviathanspain]

fucked my way up to the top

roman roy x reader

synopsis: the recent shroud of attention towards the roys lands a spotlight on you, causing you to question your marriage

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

the public didn’t favor you as a roy wife. you were labeled a gold digger, virtually nobody, a poison, a cancer. it didn’t matter that your own family was rich and prosperous. not as public as the roy family was, but respected in their industry.

you had grown up with roman, for a few brief summers at least. neighboring his summer home with your grandfather’s, you’d find yourself sneaking away at odd hours to visit the sullen boy.

after losing touch, you had reconnected with the youngest roy son at a business conference that you had accompanied your father to. he was impossible to shake off after, and soon you found yourself walking down the aisle.

but your relationship behind closed doors was extremely unconventional. in the year you’ve been married to roman, you never had sex. you came close once, on your wedding night, but nothing else since. you understood him the most, and his issues with intimacy. you’d wait around for him as long as he needed, because you loved him.

you loved him more than anyone else in his life, and he didn’t know why.

roman was still roman, in the best way he knew how to be. he’ll make inappropriate comments at you in professional settings, defending it with “she’s my wife!”, or sticking his hands down your pants whenever he got cold. you never really understood his methods, but it was affection nonetheless.

although you had a history with corporate america, you wouldn’t deny that your marriage to roman had sped up your career. only because roman has insisted that you work alongside him. it was either that or not work at all.

so the media, in the raging shit storm that kendall had started, had picked you and your marriage as the weakest link, attacking you in many headlines. twitter had been worse, causing you a mild headache for weeks.

roman had assured you’d that it would all blow over, that as long as you both knew the truth, that nothing else mattered.

but it did. everything mattered.

“hey ro-“ he had answered your call before the second ring. he sounded breathless, but you could hear the bustling office environment over the phone. there was the sound of leather, assuming he moved to sit.

you looked at yourself in the mirror, giving yourself one last look before walking over to the door, “i just wanted to call and remind you that i’m going out.”

roman made a noise over the phone, “ughhhh- that’s tonight?” he looked at his watch, checking the time, “right. that’s fine, yeah.”

“ro?” you asked, a smile on your face as you heard him hum in response. “i wasn’t asking if it was fine. remember what we talked about?”

roman sighed, rolling his eyes slightly as he leaned back in his chair, “that you’re my wife, not my property…”

you laughed, “when you put it like that it sounds awful. whatever roy, i’ll see you later.” he could hear the clicking of the apartment lock, you were already leaving.

“okay, bye bye now sweetie!” he mocked an elderly lady with his tone before hanging up quickly.

on nights you’d go out with friends, roman wouldn’t go home. he would eventually find his way home around two or three am, but only because you’d call to let him know you were going home. there was no point of being home if you weren’t there.

he had done it once, but there had been a pit in his stomach the entire time. as if he was doing something wrong.

he had heard the apartment door click, and his head turned from the random late night news channel to the door. you were standing there, wavering slightly as you stepped forward.

“baby-“ you slurred, and immediately roman stood up. he walked towards you, and a sheet of concern washed over his face. “i’m sorry baby, i know how much you hate it when i drink.” you grabbed onto roman’s shoulder, hand clutching him as you tried to steady yourself.

roman scoffed, “when did i say that?” his tone turned defensive, but mainly confused.

you shrugged, “i know you do.” you let go of him and stepped towards the couch, “you get in that mood.” you had meant to sit down, but you found yourself on your back instead. you closed your eyes, swallowing thickly, “you pull away.” roman scoffed again, “y/n, im right here.” his hand grazed your face as he leaned over you. he rested on the couch’s edge, but you couldn’t keep your eyes on him.

“no- it’s not like that. everytime i want to,” you faltered, and roman inhaled sharply, “it’s like you shut down. and we’ve danced around it for almost a year and-“ your words slurred slightly but roman had understood you perfectly.

“what do you want me to say? hmm? that i don’t want to fuck you?” he got off the couch and stood up, “do you want a divorce? is that it? since we didn’t fuck you can probably get a good deal out of that, you should go fucking try it!” roman didn’t know where this anger was coming from, but he felt it come out like word vomit. and he couldn’t stop.

tears escaped your eyes and you sniffled, feeling your face heat up with embarrassment. “no- i don’t want a divorce, roman.” you shook your head as you cried, wishing the couch could swallow you up.

roman continued to spit more words at you, but you cried harder. “i just want my husband to touch me! i want to be desired- to be loved!” you shouted, words overtaking his.

“i want you every minute of every day. i wake up with you on my mind, even when you’re asleep next to me i want you. i fucking want you, so bad.” his voice dropped and he stared down at you.

you shifted your eyes over to him, and tried to stand up. roman noticed what you were doing and took your hand, pulling you up.

“have me, roman. have me and never let me go.” your arms draped around his neck, pulling him into you. you leaned into him, and kissed him roughly. roman felt himself hitch a breath before pulling away.

“i cant.” your hands dropped from his collar and you stared, speechless. “i want to, y/n. but i-“

you pushed past him, not letting him finish as you tried to stumble towards the door. “you’re a fucking coward.” you slurred, tears muddling your vision. you fumbled for the door handle, “i never want to see you again! you hear me! i hate you!” you stomped a foot as you struggled more for the door. “fuck!” you cried out, feeling defeat and heartbreak wash over you in an instant.

this feeling was crippling. closing your eyes as you slid down in defeat. you couldn’t fight anymore, you didn’t have it in you. your husband didn’t stay to linger, slipping away quietly.

the separation was taking its toll. it was starting to get noticeable to those around you. you had wished for space from roman, who had hesitated but obliged. his only request was that his family doesn’t know, and so far, they hadn’t.

but little things, questions regarding the other had raised a few flags. kendall had asked about you once, bringing up the question to roman on your whereabouts. roman had lied and said he had just seen you in your office, but kendall knew you weren’t even in the building. or when shiv had texted you to ask if you’d be joining the family to scotland, but you had to play off your absence with a separate work trip. when in reality you had no idea that roman would even leave the country.

shiv knew something was off. she was finding roman more intolerable by the day. he was more disheveled, prone to outbursts, constantly on the defensive, and it definitely had to do with you. you were his happy little pill.

as much as you wanted to keep the secret, roman made it difficult. he rarely ever saw you anymore, and he would often exclude you from meetings regarding family or work. you didn’t mind at first, until it started affecting your work. you’d have to talk to him about it, eventually.

logan had called for a meeting in his office. usually big meetings with all of the roys and close workers meant bad things. typically you’d stay out of these things and find out from roman. but you had no roman to come home to anymore, and you’d have to learn how to fight for yourself sooner rather than later.

you were the third one to arrive. kendall was already perched beside his father. you admired kendall for his ability to resurrect himself and crawl back under his father’s thumb. you respected him, but not lately. greg and tom were also in the room. their little duo was dangerous, you’ve warned roman to watch out for them.

“y/n!” tom stood up from his seat, awkwardly hugging you. you stiffened in his arms and pulled back with an awkward smile, “tom. didn’t know we did that!” your eyes slid to logan and kendall, who seemed as equally as surprised by your presence.

“sir.” you looked at your father-in-law, who’s eyes shone at you, “y/n. what a delightful surprise.” he kept his tone even, but you still smiled nonetheless.

kendall had his wits about him, for once. “what changed?” he squinted his eyes at you and you laughed slightly, “it’s nice to see you too, ken.”

just as you turned, you heard a whistle at the door, “where is everyone? you said at 11:30 right?” roman looked down at his watch before looking up, eyes settling on your face.

you hadn’t expected to see him so face to face, for the first time in weeks. he looked away slightly, cracking another irrelevant joke before walking over to a chair.

he didn’t even greet you, and that didn’t go unnoticed by everyone else. more and more flooded in, and you couldn’t stop the pounding feeling in your head even as the conversation began.

“roman!”

logan’s shout had broken you out of your daze. you blinked, eyes narrowing on the clock as you realized thirty minutes had passed. you had missed most of the meeting, and seemingly caught the end. but this wasn’t just any end, this was logan handing your husband his own ass.

you listened to roman get chewed out. you weren’t in the loop to roman’s work, and you felt lost.

logan’s insults turned into abuse. you felt your mouth go dry as you stood up, words spilling out of your mouth in roman’s defense.

you didn’t know what you had done until it was done. you were locked in a stare with logan, who was in disbelief at your outburst. you felt you face heat up and you inhaled sharply. logan didn’t say anything, but kendall had waved his hands, “alright. let’s just- end it here.” he shifted his gaze over to you but you didn’t meet his eyes.

roman stared at you, from across the room in his chair. you blinked, words faltering as you stared at him.

you didn’t bother apologizing as you excused yourself, practically running down the hall to shut yourself away.

there was a soft knock at your door. roman. it had to be roman. you felt your chest heavy with pressure as you stood up, walking over to your door. you unlocked it, but hesitated as you pulled it open.

“yes?” you peeked out, beads of sweat lining your forehead. your eyes met his and roman stared at you, “let me in.” he nodded to the door and you hitched a breath, opening the door as you stepped back.

“ro-“ without another word you threw yourself into his arms. he grabbed you tightly, reciprocating your need for affection.

“i’m so sorry.” you choked out, “i’m so fucking sorry.” you knew logan had a difficult relationship with his son, and this didn’t help any of it. logan must hate you now.

roman shook his head, “fuck that. fuck that old ass guy. it’s okay, you-“ he pulled back and you felt his lips on your cheek, “you know i would’ve done that for you.”

you hugged him tightly, and hoped this warmth would last.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - The Industry is Having Issues But the Spice Spicy Must Flow

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

March 2024 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

Two Worlds (Thurs IQIYI) eps 1-2 of 10 - One of those "he's dead Jim so time travel" thingames starring MaxNat. I'm over this concept but I do enjoy MaxNat. Phupha (Gun) and Khram (Nat) love each other but Phupha is murdered. Then Khram is pulled to a parallel world where, years ago, Khram and Tai (Max) were in love. However, Khram was killed by Tai’s dad. Now Tai finds alter-Khram. But then there is ALSO an alter-Phupha to deal with. (Phupha is played by Gun Thanawat who was Khom, the repressed butler bodyguard from Unforgotten Night. We like this, but we scared of the love triangle aspect.) Did that make sense? Yeah, okay, see what I mean?

Initial thoughts?

The subs are troubling but I’m enjoying this show a lot. It’s nice to see MaxNat get something meaty to sink their teeth into - that’s not just each other. Also it’s so smart of them to give us a fully fleshed out entire episode developing the alter romance rather than just a separation + death. It makes Khram’s grief and motivation that much more believable. Also it’s really nice to see Nat have good chemistry with other actors. 

Deep Night (Thurs iQiyi) ep 3 of 8 (10?) - I'm still enjoying it. But Two Worlds is objectively better. So this one has lost ranking. Also, unexpectedly chili (the name of my heavy metal Thai cover band).

Lovey switchy and verse main couple too.

This is all quite pleasing.

The bit where the hosts pretend to be a BL couple actor ship was epic on so many levels.

Also unsettling.

All sex work is performative, and in a way there is something more honest about this depiction, in this setting, than what BL actors are made to do on the promo circuit. Which then begs the question, how different is BL from sex work? That's the unsettling bit, for me anyway. Not to slam on sex work AT ALL, we pro-the-true-pros on this damn blog, but actors have been shaded by association with True Professionals for a very long time and BL has already had one epic shut down in this regard. (See the PerthSaint scandal around Love By Chance, no I will not explain.) Where was I? Oh yes, so anyway, see the Gossip section for the part where they better be paid either way!

Also, since I'm a warped fucker, I found this scene funny.

And then hilarious when all of those BL tropes were just trotted out. Like a greatest hits reel.

Truly beyond meta. (How Absolute BL of them.)

Note he’s even standing in yaoi's patented "hands in pocket with the shoulders back"? 

Meanwhile, the gayest bridge in Thailand made its quarterly appearance:

And lip serviced was paid to the most touristy romantic things you can do in Bangkok.

And I mean lip service literally. 

To Be Continued (Thai C3 Thailand grey) ep 5 of 8 - I’m still enjoying it but getting more and more nervous. We getting too close to Promise territory for comfort. EXPLAIN Ji’s reticence well and do it now or risk audience mistrust. We have to be given a GOOD reason for Ji's behavior, or he'll be irredeemable.

City of Stars (Fri iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - NO SINGING. Yes smiley kisses and good communication and a nice healthy relationship. But no singing!

1000 Years Old ep 6 of 12 - Dropping in the ranks. I’m sorry it’s just gotten boring. It has, however, inspired me to invest in my own ridiculous cream fuzzy sweater. Which I plan to wear with leather trousers and huge stumpy boots, like the Kpop queer I truly am. Or do I mean vampire? 

Kiseki Chapter 2 (Sun iQIYI) ep 1 of 6 - Seems to be an excuse for a small posse of Thai actors to wander around Tokyo playing tourist and sing in public . Someone stop them?

“Most people think this kind of thing is bad manners .”

Anyway, it’s v boring. I’ll give it one more ep but I suspect I’ll DNF.

Close Friend Season 3: Soju Bomb! (Weds iQIYI) eps 1-2 of 6 - Meh. This is also looking suspiciously DNF-a-licious.  

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Unknown (Taiwan Tues Youku YouTube & Viki) ep 5 of 11 - It's brilliant. I love it. I'm ready to hurt. Let’s do this thing. 

Distribution note: This one has been picked up and is also airing on Viki now, so it may lose YT distribution in soem territories. I like Youku's hard subs better than Viki's subs, but that's a matter of preference not information since I don't speak Mandarin.

Love is Better the Second Time Around AKA Koi wo Suru nara Nidome ga Joto (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 3 of 6 - It is good. Every week I like this show a little more. I'm enjoying a reunion romance explored in Japan's quintessentially contemplative yet slightly surreal way. The juxtaposition of the tenderness of the sex scene with this Japanese brand of authenticity was oddly elegant - for lack of a better way of putting it. All in all, this is a good show. Thought provoking. Stylish.

AntiReset (Taiwan Fri Viki/Gaga) ep 9 of 10 - It remains lovely but they sure are reusing a lot of footage. Also, this was a classic penultimate doom episode. I do wonder how they are going to resolve this show ethically.

My Strawberry Film (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 8 - It is what it is, and it isn’t my style of show no matter what country of origin. Oddly that's one of the reasons I don't like it. Anyone could have made this, it's not as Japanese as I want it to be, it's just indie film club high school angst. Yawn.

I watched it, finally

The Servant and the Young Master (Vietnam YouTube) 7 eps - I dislike vertical filming, but I kind of enjoyed this show as a BL. I like class conflict romances. For me the rich kid is a bit too dictatorial (edges into bulling), but it’s kinda works. It’s sparse and underdeveloped and a bit plotless, but mildly entertaining. If you're missing Vietnamese BL you might give it a try. 6/10 

Began Beginning (Myanmar YouTube) 8eps - A Burmese BL that I had thoughts about but actually ended up recommending. Read the saga here:

It's done, ready to binge, but I suck

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps

It's airing but...

Graduation Countdown (Taiwan YouTube) ep 1 of ? - on one hand it's micro-installment vertical, on the other it's adorable and from Taiwan. I blame @heretherebedork entirely for my conundrum. As indeed, I did for My Type back in the day. (That was Nat Chen's first BL, yes of Kiseki: Dear To Me fame.) So I think I will also simply lean on Here to let me know when it's done and binge all at once. It's just too much to ask me to keep up with 2 minute pieces, I don't have that kind of endurance training, not even for BL.

Time the series (Tue Gaga/YT) 10 eps - it's finished now, I dropped it at ep 4. Should I bother?

A Secretly Love (Thai Sat WeTV grey) 10 eps - I watched the first ep but grey is too much work for this inferior of a show. I may pick up and binge if it gets distribution but for now, it gets a DNF from me. KimCop might have held this crap together but Kim without Cop? No thank you.

Lady Boy Friends (Thai WeTV grey) 16 eps - reminds me a bit too much of Diary of Tootsies only high school. Not my thing. DNF unless it turns a corner and is truly amazing for some reason.

Man Suang that MileApo vehicle from last year is coming to Netflix in the USA. I haven't heard much about it and since the KP stans would have lost their tiny minds if it was any good at all, I'm assuming it's not good at all.

Gossip

Thai BL actor Yoon breaks with his former company and talks about some very very VERY shady goings on in the Thai BL industry. Including not being paid.

And whacha know, same thing happening in Korean BL.

Have I mentioned recently how much I hate the film industry?

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting Soon

3/31 Only Boo! (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - New main couple for GMMTV in an idol romance about a boy who dances good and a food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks grumpy/sunshine pair who fall deeply in love but, of course, baby boy idol can't date. Boyband but from GMMTV? Control your singing and I'm game.

4/1 Love is like a Cat (Korea ????) 12 eps - This completed filming Aug 2022(!) which means there have been serious problems with post-production. This is another of Silkwood's Korean+Thai colab projects. Mew Suppasit plays a rookie film star, called the Cat Prince (for his cold arrogance) who goes up against a charismatic puppyish animal daycare director (JM of JUST B). There is also a side romance (love triangle?) with a veterinarian. Geonu of JUST B is also in the cast.

I wonder if this was part of the hold up, with Geonu on Build Up right now, they might have tried to muffle this one. Or maybe it's just that bad...

4/3 We Are (Thai GMMTV YouTube) 12 eps - University ensemble BL featuring PondPhuwin, WinnySatang, AouBoom, MarcPawinPoon - basically the good kind of messy gay friendship group (so more My Engineer and less Only Friends). Looks a bit like the Kiss series but everyone is queer. I'm IN!

Knock-Knock Boys (Thai WeTV?) - 4 college friends conspire to help their friend lose his virginity. Familiar faces like Seng (yes, Billy's previous partner), Best and frest face, news here.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

NOTE: It looks like one of my personal favorites of last year Unintentional Love Story is getting a spin off!

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Without ghost girl.

With ghost girl.

I think she may be my favorite part of 1000 Years.

CLASSIC tsundere seme description of a sunshine uke. Like classic'est of classic. (Two Worlds)

Is there such a thing as a tired trope in a BL? Since it is a genre that is made up entirely of tropes quilted together? Your philosophical question for today brought to you by Deep Night's kabedon (Japanese trope) + punishment threat (Thai trope).

Love me a lap sit moment. (City of Stars)

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are too much work.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone

If ya wanna be tagged each week leave a comment and I will add you to the template. Easy peesy.

[astrojulia]

Tarot Cards as Professions

Navigation:   Masterlist✦Ask Rules✦Feedback Tips

       Askbox✦Sources✦Paid Readings

Major Arcanas:

The Fool: Work with abroad, connections with imports, language teacher, multinationals, entrepreneur, intern, college student, art major.

The Magician: Entrepreneur, job that needs skill with the hands (acupuncture, hairdresser, artisan), actor, salesperson, influencer.

The High Priestess: Education, especially children, nutrition, psychology, cook, housewife, food engineering, toy factory, fortuneteller, spiritual advisor, librarian.

The Empress: Management, business administration, foreign trade, secretariat, translation, decoration, stay-at-home mom, model, cook, farmer.

The Emperor: Business administration, work related to areas of technological innovation, the military or sportsmen, CEO, tycoon.

The Hierophant: Philanthropic areas, ONGs, religious work, social work, diplomacy, and a degree, journalism, writer, editor, priest, spiritual guru, politician.

The Lovers: Sales area in any sector, tourism, theater, advertising, the arts in general, porn star, stripper, masseuse.

The Chariot: Activities related to transport, cars, the latest technology, chauffeur, mechanic, athlete.

Strength: Aesthetics, physical education and various body therapies, medicine, zoologist.

The Hermit: Teacher, writer, doctor, antique dealer, restorer, librarian, gardener.

Wheel of Fortune: Financial market, exchange offices, casinos, lottery houses, stock exchanges, and areas related to public relations, hospitality, game show host.

Justice: Public jobs, won through competitions, politics, police, with government positions, in the diplomatic area, law, insurance company worker.

The Hanged Man: Nurse, auditor, inspector, porter, secretariat, general assistants, yoga instructor, prison guard, philanthropist.

Death: Doctor, farmer, geologist, business administrator, gardener, accountant, assassin, death row executioner, surgeon.

Temperance: Working with liquids in general or with what is transported in liquid form such as alcoholic beverages, medicines, juices. chemist, chef, food critic, regional or even international traffic.

The Devil: Does not limit the individual to a professional wing, so he can also go to extremes for the desire he has, such as landlord, drug lord, sex trafficker.

The Tower: Social assistance, humanitarian aid, medicine, firefighter, police officer, construction worker.

The Star: Music, painting, sculpture, poetry, cinema, makeup artist, dressmaker, beautician, agent, promoter, sound artist, astronomer, harpist, dealer, meteorologist.

The Moon: Oceanographers, sailors, fishermen, owners of bars and restaurants or nightclubs, artists in general, medium, hypnotist, psychiatrist.

The Sun: Motivational speaker, entertainer, comedian, social relationships, work with the public, artist in general, member of society.

Judgment: Work done at home, connection with the law, lawyer, judge, work with disabled or people excluded from society, social assistance, board member, executive producer, director.

The World: Pharmacist, massage therapist, scientist, teacher, community leader, religious leader or priest, fashion designer, makeup artist, interior decorator.

Wands:

Creative industries such as advertising, marketing, and graphic design.

Entrepreneurship and starting your own business.

Athletics, sports coaching, or physical training.

Outdoor jobs like park ranger or tour guide.

Event planning or organizing.

Firefighters or rescue workers.

Ace of Wands: Entrepreneur, startup founder, motivational speaker, fitness coach, personal trainer.

Two of Wands: Business strategist, project manager, travel agent, international consultant, import/export specialist.

Three of Wands: Sales representative, marketing manager, e-commerce entrepreneur, market researcher, international trade coordinator.

Four of Wands: Event planner, wedding coordinator, party organizer, festival manager, hospitality industry professional.

Five of Wands: Conflict resolution specialist, mediator, lawyer, debate coach, competitive sports coach.

Six of Wands: Public relations manager, spokesperson, social media influencer, motivational speaker, winning athlete.

Seven of Wands: Defense attorney, human rights activist, political campaigner, advocate, civil liberties lawyer.

Eight of Wands: Courier, delivery driver, airline pilot, travel blogger, expedition guide.

Nine of Wands: Security guard, bodyguard, soldier, endurance athlete, self-defense instructor.

Ten of Wands: Overworked entrepreneur, project manager, event organizer, professional organizer, heavy equipment operator.

Page of Wands: Assistant in a creative field, aspiring artist, intern in a startup, social media coordinator, apprentice.

Knight of Wands: Travel journalist, adventure tour guide, professional athlete, race car driver, stunt performer.

Queen of Wands: CEO, business owner, charismatic leader, life coach, influential speaker.

King of Wands: Executive manager, entrepreneur, leadership coach, consultant, director of a creative agency.

Cups:

Counseling, therapy, or social work.

Hospitality industry, including restaurant management and bartending.

Wedding planner or event coordinator.

Artistic fields like poetry, writing, or acting.

Healing professions such as nursing or holistic therapy.

Psychologist or counselor specializing in emotions and relationships.

Ace of Cups: Therapist, counselor, social worker, holistic healer, emotional support specialist.

Two of Cups: Marriage counselor, matchmaker, relationship coach, wedding planner, love psychic.

Three of Cups: Event organizer, party planner, celebratory event coordinator, community organizer.

Four of Cups: Meditation teacher, mindfulness coach, spiritual counselor, psychologist, therapist.

Five of Cups: Grief counselor, trauma therapist, hospice worker, emotional healing practitioner, bereavement support.

Six of Cups: Child psychologist, teacher, daycare worker, children's book author, pediatric nurse.

Seven of Cups: Creative writer, fantasy novelist, imaginative artist, dream analyst, visionary.

Eight of Cups: Travel blogger, adventure seeker, spiritual pilgrim, explorer, wanderlust photographer.

Nine of Cups: Life coach, happiness consultant, gratitude coach, self-help author, wellness retreat organizer.

Ten of Cups: Family therapist, marriage and family counselor, foster care advocate, wedding planner, family mediator.

Page of Cups: Creative writer, artist in training, intuitive healer, aspiring therapist, dream interpreter.

Knight of Cups: Actor, romantic poet, musician, art therapist, love and relationship coach.

Queen of Cups: Psychic reader, intuitive healer, counselor, compassionate caregiver, therapist.

King of Cups: Therapist, counselor, intuitive mentor, emotional intelligence trainer, psychologist.

Swords:

Legal professions like lawyers, judges, or law enforcement officers.

Journalists, reporters, or investigators.

IT specialists, computer programmers, or hackers.

Teachers or professors specializing in critical thinking or philosophy.

Military or defense-related careers.

Strategic planners or analysts.

Ace of Swords: Lawyer, judge, legal consultant, investigative journalist, strategic planner.

Two of Swords: Mediator, conflict resolution specialist, negotiator, diplomat, relationship counselor.

Three of Swords: Divorce lawyer, grief counselor, trauma therapist, emotional healer, heart surgeon.

Four of Swords: Rest and relaxation specialist, meditation teacher, spiritual retreat organizer, yoga instructor.

Five of Swords: Military strategist, competitive sports coach, lawyer specializing in litigation, debate coach.

Six of Swords: Travel agent, relocation consultant, therapist specializing in transitions, boat captain.

Seven of Swords: Private investigator, spy, intelligence analyst, cybersecurity expert, undercover agent.

Eight of Swords: Social justice lawyer, human rights advocate, disability rights activist, therapist specializing in limiting beliefs.

Nine of Swords: Insomnia specialist, anxiety therapist, nightmare counselor, sleep coach, mental health counselor.

Ten of Swords: Surgeon, coroner, forensic scientist, mortician, grief counselor.

Page of Swords: Researcher, journalist, fact-checker, apprentice in a legal field, investigative reporter.

Knight of Swords: Military officer, police officer, attorney, competitive fencer, conflict resolution specialist.

Queen of Swords: Judge, lawyer, critic, journalist, literary agent.

King of Swords: Judge, attorney, CEO, strategist, military general.

Pentacles:

Financial advisors or investment bankers.

Real estate agents or property developers.

Agriculture, farming, or gardening.

Architects, builders, or construction workers.

Conservationists or environmentalists.

Accountants or bookkeepers.

Ace of Pentacles: Financial advisor, investment banker, wealth manager, entrepreneur, luxury goods retailer.

Two of Pentacles: Financial analyst, accountant, bookkeeper, event planner, stock trader.

Three of Pentacles: Architect, contractor, project manager, teamwork facilitator, craftsman.

Four of Pentacles: Wealth manager, investor, financial planner, asset protection specialist, treasurer.

Five of Pentacles: Social worker, philanthropist, charity organizer, financial counselor, volunteer.

Six of Pentacles: Philanthropist, humanitarian worker, non-profit manager, social worker, charitable fundraiser.

Seven of Pentacles: Gardener, farmer, agricultural consultant, sustainability expert, botanist.

Eight of Pentacles: Craftsperson, artisan, apprentice, skilled tradesperson, technical trainer.

Nine of Pentacles: Luxury brand manager, independent business owner, successful entrepreneur, vineyard owner, art collector.

Ten of Pentacles: Real estate developer, property investor, family business owner, generational wealth manager, financial advisor.

Page of Pentacles: Intern, student, apprentice in a practical field, aspiring entrepreneur, entry-level employee.

Knight of Pentacles: Accountant, financial planner, farmer, skilled tradesperson, meticulous worker.

Queen of Pentacles: CEO, business owner, property developer, hospitality industry entrepreneur, financial advisor.

King of Pentacles: CEO, business mogul, successful investor, high-level executive, financial consultant.

(CC) AstroJulia Some Rights Reserved

[misstycloud]

Yandere actor x actor reader in an interview?

“So, as you know the movie has now become a major success in the movie industry,”

You and the man beside you both nod in unision at the hostess statement, confirming her remark with a certain pride one receives after all the hard work finally pays off.

“-what would you say was your favourite part to film?” The woman asked, intrigued. She turns her curious gaze towards you first, so you go ahead and answer.

“Well I would say it was the resturant scene, since we actually got to eat real food. And if the shot wasn’t good enough they’d have to bring out a new full plate to reshoot it.” You professionally replied with a laugh.

The woman and rest of the audience chuckled along at your confession. She even made a joke of accusing you of messing up on purpose so you’d be able to taste the dish over and over again.

The question was then directed at the other guest. He crossed his legs while straightening the tie on his very expensive suit, giving him a cold and rigid appearance.

“I personally favoured doing the wedding.” Was all he said. Nothing more nothing less.

The show host laughed in an awkward manner at the short and uninterested reply. You wanted to sink into the cushioned chair and pinch your brow. Could he stop doing that, you begged mentally.

Although it’s basically what he’s been doing all through his career and people should’ve really seen it coming by now, you still wished to save the embarrassment.

Deciding to do something, you nudged his arm with your elbow and whispered, “What else? What about it made you like it?”

Ace’s face lit up in realisation and ‘ah’ed. “The Production Designers made a great job in creating the venue. They made it feel like a real ceremony. Everything was done in near perfection, the decorations were good suiting my tastes and all.”

“Oh, is that so, and what was the best part of ‘your wedding’?” The hostess leaned in closer, anticipating his answer.

A small hint of a smile grew on the caramel-haired man’s face, so small in fact that it would be hard for anyone but you and the other woman to catch it. “The best part you ask? It is without a doubt that I got to see (Y/n) looking so beautiful- not to say she isn’t always- but I am sure you understand what I mean.”

She burst out in giggles at his confession and so did the audience, loving the prospect of a real life romance that might be happening behind the camera. You and Ace seemed like the ideal couple after all. Both being highly attractive, talented and having some unexplainable connection.

The perfect pair.

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve had any guest be so honest with their feelings toward their co-star!Say, Mr. Lee, you’re not one known to form a close bond to your fellow actors but there’s an obvious exception here.” She pried, all giddy. If she managed to get a juicy reply, her show would definitely make the top from there. “Does this mean miss (Y/n) is someone very special?”

News on your relationship would spread and be the topic of magazines and conversations. Everyone were invested in it, even though it wasn’t officially confirmed that you and Ace were a thing.

Your body tensed at the question. You didn’t want people to think you were dating for real, as if it were confirmed. That would cause a bunch of trouble you had no interest in handling. All those people were fooled.

Tough you didn’t wish to call your fans and the general public idiots, it’s exactly what they were when it came to him. They had no idea of what he was really like. Sure they knew he could be taken as a bit of an oddball, not the person to gladly socialise like other celebrities.

But only those who had worked closely with him knew the extent of his troubling personality. Picky, selfish, entitled and rude towards everyone; those were the prominent qualities. You couldn’t count on the times you’d been forced to save some poor employee from his clutches.

Only after noticing your presence did he switch up his act and turn into a completely different person. Front of you he’d act sweetly, if you hadn’t caught him being horrible to others you wouldn’t have believed he was capable of such things.

In all honesty, it was somewhat disturbing how he was able to turn the switch so quickly. That’s the prodigy actors, you supposed.

You sent Ace a firm look, warning him not to do something he’ll regret. AKA, lying and saying you were together. And what does he do? He had the audacity to freaking smirk. You nearly scream in your seat. What an ass!

“Yes, she is indeed very special to me.” Ace said as he sent you a meaningful gaze.

By now you were ready to slap him. It had been hard enough to keep more rumours about the two at bay than the already existing ones, there was no need for this shit. Angrily, you kicked his leg. Which no one saw because the angle worked in your favour. Ace hissed in response.

And instead of getting mad like the normal human being, he said with a sly grin, “Actually, do you want to know another favourite scene of mine?”

The hostess perked up at this, “Yes, certainly!”

“The one where I get the privilege of proposing to (Y/n). It was wonderful, just wishing she’d accept my real one.”

Silence. Then an uproar.

“Does this imply the rumours are true? And have you gone so far you’re thinking of marriage?”

“No, no!” You instantly deny, “He’s not serious, he loves to joke around sometimes, haha. Isn’t that right?” You regard Ace who sits calmly in his position, not caring to say a word.

‘He’s getting off from this, isn’t he!’

“Oh don’t be shy miss (Y/n)! It’s been obvious since a long time ago. You’re made for each other!”

“No. We’re not! We’re really not. There’s nothing more between us than friendship. ”

———-

‘Ugh. Why did he have to do that?’ You complained to yourself after the show was over.

As you stumbled around in the corridors, the person who caused your irritated state popped up.

“Just the person I wanted to see.” You spat at him.

“It’s good to see you too, love. Since the wrap-up of the movie I haven’t had the chance to see you for so long. It’s been very lonely.” Ace approached you and tried to caress your cheek, you stepped away.

“What the hell did you do that for? Don’t go around spouting shit that isn’t true.”

“I can assure you, my love for you is very true. There isn’t anything more genuine than that.” He pleaded.

“Just stop!” You pushed him away, “I don’t want you anywhere near me. I’m done with you! No more movies together. We’ll never see each other again, okay!”

The moment you started leaving, a voice sounded behind you. In a confident tone your now nemesis asserted, “We’ll see about that, dear.”

—————————

[mymoodwriting]

Request for Anon (yandere co-stars Younghoon&Hyunjae) 6.6k, yandere, idol/actor!reader, period drama, inappropriate behavior, power imbalance, harassment, sexual harassment, alcohol consumption, non-con, dub-con, secret recording, blackmail, tag-team, handjob, fingering, breast play, penetration, double penetration, possessive behavior (@starillusion13)

“And cut!”

The smile faded from your lips and you tried to move the hand around your waist, only to be pulled closer by the owner of said hand. You were leaning away from your co-star, but that just encouraged them to move closer, holding you up so you wouldn’t fall.

“The scene’s over, you can let go now.”

“Why don’t we rehearse it again, just you and me.”

“I’m good.”

You made sure you had steady footing before shoving Hyunjae off of you, and this time he got the message. You gave him a content smile and rushed off to your dressing room. Once inside you could take a breath and relax. Being around guys was always an issue since you were an idol, but this was something new entirely. Your fans would understand this was work, but if your co-stars kept being so weird it would become a problem. This show was your first leading role, and your chance to really break into the industry. You wanted this to be a success but the two male actors working alongside you, Younghoon and Hyunjae, weren’t making it easy.

This was a historical drama where you played a princess who had recently lost her family, leaving her as the sole heir to inherit the throne. The problem of course was the fact that the kingdom still needed a king, which meant your character had to be wed. Many princes wanted to take on the role, but two in particular seemed the most promising. Besides competing with each other, they were both trying to win the princess’ heart.

You didn’t mind playing a damsel in distress and having two men fight for your affections. You had portrayed such feelings while filming MVs before. The real problem was Younghoon and Hyunjae in real life. They were practically method acting, and doing all kinds of off-script and off-screen things to get your attention. It was very uncomfortable at times, but the director never called them out on their behavior. You had mentioned it before to them and the producer, but they said it all fit the characters and would only heighten the performance. It seemed like there really was no difference between the script and real life.

No one listened to you and just told you what to do. You were still too new in the field to be taken seriously. As much as you wanted this all to stop, you were determined to bite your tongue and see this through. You might not get a chance like this again, and you certainly weren’t gonna let two men ruin your career. Besides rehearsals and script reading, you avoided them. You always declined their invitations to go out after hours, or let yourself be alone with either of them. They really hadn’t gotten the hint yet, or maybe they just thought they were all that. You knew that Younghoon was rather popular, having appeared in other dramas before, and Hyunjae was also known, even if he was seen as more of a pretty face than an actual actor.

Outside of their rather inappropriate and rude behavior, they were good co-stars, and good actors. When the cameras were rolling you all played your parts and could do a good job. It’s just when they stopped that things became weird. They were so professional around everyone, like they were completely different people, but when it came to you, it was a whole other story. You could tell there was something in their eyes whenever they caught your gaze. While they stared it seemed like there was no one else but the two of you, but you’d quickly look away before someone noticed.

“Are you excited for tomorrow?”

“Why would I be excited?”

“Cause it’s our first kiss scene.”

“What!? We’re supposed to be filming-”

“I know, but I talked to the director.” Younghoon explained. “Since in the scene our characters would be kissing for the first time, I thought it’d be good to film it earlier as we’re both still a bit awkward with each other, and that reality can help further sell where our characters are at.”

“I… I guess…”

“I’m so glad you agree. I really wish we could practice the scene, but we can practice the other scenes down the line. Although Hyunjae might get a bit jealous, which is good.”

“Is it?”

“The chemistry between all of us will play well this way. We really should do our own private rehearsals, you know.”

“But it wouldn’t make sense for our characters.” You quickly retorted. “As the princess I can’t just be left alone with one of the princes. You’re supposed to be fighting each other above all.”

“Hm, true, although me and Hyunjae are good friends. Don’t worry though, we can make our rivalry look real. The news might even write about how we actually hate each other.”

“Cool, you two do that. I’m gonna go get out of make-up.”

“Ah, shall I come with? We are done for the day after all.”

“It’s fine. I’m sure you have-”

“Come on now. It’ll be good for our bonding. We have to get to know each other better anyway, we have a press tour once we’re done filming to promote the show.”

“Right…”

Younghoon pushed you along over to hair and make-up. To your unfortunate surprise Hyunjae was already in a chair. He had been reading the script when he saw you two walk in and immediately perked up.

“Hello, y/n, what brings you here?”

“Gosh you can be stupidly handsome sometimes, can’t you?” Younghoon teased. “We’re here to get our make-up off like you.”

“I wanted to hear y/n say it.” Hyunjae remarked. “But I appreciate the compliment. Do you think I’m handsome too, y/n?”

“Uh, sure.”

“Come on, you can be honest. Tell me, would you fuck me?”

You choked on air and immediately turned away from Hyunjae. You wound up coughing a bit, trying to steady your breathing. You could hear the two others, and staff, chuckling to themselves, but this wasn’t funny to you at all. Once you were alright you turned back around.

“That’s not an appropriate thing to say.”

“And you didn’t answer no.” Hyunjae smiled. “It’s alright, I know what you’re really thinking anyway. Sit down, the sooner you get out of make-up the sooner we can leave.”

“We?”

“The director wants us all to go out for dinner.” Younghoon stated. “To celebrate the end of pre-production and the beginning of the actual filming. Which means we can’t have a lot of alcohol, but it’ll still be fun.”

“Oh.”

Today had been the last day of dress rehearsal, giving everyone a chance to get used to the make-up and costumes before the real filming began tomorrow. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to celebrate just yet, but everyone could use a positive boost before the production work began. Once out of make-up you went to your dressing room to get out of costume and change into normal clothes. It wasn’t all that shocking to find Younghoon and Hyunjae waiting for you since they wanted the three of you to go together. You didn’t have much choice in the matter so you just followed along. 

The car ride to the restaurant felt awkward to you. They filled in the silence talking and would occasionally try to bring you into the conversation but you only answered in short sentences. They didn’t push anything which you were grateful for. As soon as you arrived at the restaurant you got out of the car and went off to find your manager and friends. You wouldn’t be able to avoid the two of them the whole night since the main cast was seated together. The boys made a point to sit on either side of you to keep you sandwiched between them. It was gonna be a long night, but at least you had plenty of practice on how to put on a smile.

The other two boys were more popular than you, so they easily got caught up in other conversations with staff, along with the director and producer. You made some small talk with those around you, still very new to a big production and all the people around. Everyone was still friendly, and excited to work with you for the next few months. The night went well, although you felt rather shy when Younghoon wanted to make a toast, and had you and Hyunjae stand up to give it alongside him. You were poured a shot, and it was only right to take it. Then Hyunjae insisted you take another as he hadn’t poured you the first one. You didn’t really drink, and you weren’t planning on doing so tonight, yet here you were taking two shots.

Since you didn’t drink, you were very much a lightweight and two shots could do some damage. Of course this dinner wasn’t meant to last long but by then you were a little gone and needed help. In your haze you couldn’t make out much but you could recall Younghoon and Hyunjae volunteering to take you back to your room. After that things were blurry, but you did wake up in your own bed, so that was a good sign. You had a bit of a headache but apparently the boys had left you plenty of remedies to help. Once you felt a bit better you made your way to set, getting into hair and make-up, looking over the script. Then you suddenly remembered what you were filming today. A kissing scene.

“Fuck…” 

It wasn’t something to really be upset about. You were going to wind up kissing them eventually, and multiple times at that. This was work, and none of it was real, at least for you. Once you were all set you joined your co-stars, taking in the scenery you’d be filming in. Younghoon happily approached you, coming up from behind and hugging you. A yelp escaped your lips, but he just kept smiling.

“Good morning, how are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.”

“Did you sleep well?”

“I… I guess… uh… thanks for last night.”

“Ah, do you remember?”

“Not much, but I got back safely, and my manager said you left me a lot of hangover remedies.”

“We did. You’re such a cute drunk you know that.”

“I wasn’t drunk.”

“Tipsy then, either way, let’s do a good job today.”

“Yeah.”

🖤

Since this was such a big project you couldn’t do any other activities. You’d leave messages for your fans on SNS and with approval showed some pictures of you on set. You avoided sharing any of you with your co-stars, not wanting to stir up drama. There had already been some backlash about you partaking in this production, but everyone was on your side to defend you. Being an idol was great, but you knew that was a short lived career compared to acting, and you wanted to be able to do both for as long as possible. At the beginning of filming the boys actually seemed to behave themselves, making things much easier for you, but of course that was only ever gonna be short lived.

“Princess-”

“Stop, please, just stop.” You took a breath and looked to the heavens. “This isn’t about what I want, it never has been, and it never will. I have to do what’s best for the kingdom.”

“What you want does matter. If you can’t do what’s best for yourself, how can you look after your kingdom? Even if I were to become king, this place is your home.”

“Which is why I must do the right thing.”

“You can do the right thing and still have what you want.”

You were suddenly turned around and kissed, deeply. Your eyes went wide and you immediately shoved Hyunjae away from you, followed by a swift slap across the face.

“What the fuck, Hyunjae!”

“Cut! Cut!”

The cameras stopped rolling and you wiped away the taste left on your lips. You could tell everyone was whispering to themselves. The director came over.

“What happened?”

“That wasn’t part of the script.” You remarked. “He just-”

“I’m sorry, I’m very sorry.” Hyunjae apologized while bowing. “I was so caught up in the moment it just felt like my character would do that. I’m so sorry.”

“No, no, don’t apologize.” The director said. “I felt that as well. Even your reaction was on point y/n.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“This is an important moment, you’re bearing your heart but also hiding it, knowing where your responsibilities lie, yet the prince cannot hold back hearing such things. He acts in the moment to show his passion and you respond accordingly. Even in this situation, you put your kingdom first. I liked this, we should keep this in and rework the scene a bit. Good job you two.”

“Ah, thank you, sir.” Hyunjae bowed. “Thank you.”

You were left speechless, not only did Hyunjae get away with this, but he’d get to do it again. You had time so you went off to your green room, needing a moment to settle your feelings and focus on the job. You felt so dirty for the unexpected kiss. Not to mention the potential scandals that could come out of this. If anything you were lucky the director wanted to add all that in, or else any pictures getting leaked would screw you over completely. You wanted to cry, but that would only make matters worse. When there was a knock at your door you took a deep breath and went to answer. You thought Hyunjae would be there to apologize, but instead you found Younghoon.

“Are you okay?”

“Just go away.”

“I’m serious. Did he hurt you?”

“Please leave.”

“Come on, let’s talk.” Younghoon pushed his way in. “I know you feel awful, and I’m sure he does too. That was something he shouldn’t have done.”

“Well, it worked out for him.”

“And you.”

“Really?”

“Well, you get to hit him again, and everyone thinks you guys were in the heat of the moment. I know this is your first big gig, but this isn’t something you should let ruin yourself. It’s gonna be alright.”

“You’re not really helping.”

“We’re more than halfway done here. You’ve done an amazing job so far, things are gonna work out just fine.”

“Whatever.”

Another knock was at your door, except it was just a staff telling you to be back in five. You got up and checked yourself in the mirror, Younghoon adjusting your costume a bit and giving you a thumbs up. He really didn’t help, but at least his positive demeanor could get you in a better mood. When you got back on set you felt some eyes on you, but you ignored them, just wanting to focus. You were handed a revised script, looking things over when Hyunjae approached.

“Look, I didn’t mean to upset you. It really was in the moment and just… I’m really, really, sorry. The last thing I want to do is make you hate me.”

“… let’s just keep things professional.”

“Of course.”

You couldn’t let your own feelings get in the way, so you just focused on work. After that incident both boys seemed to be on their best behavior. They were a lot friendlier with you than before, but still staying within professional boundaries. You supposed they just both really wanted to make it up to you for that whole mess. Even though Hyunjae was at fault, Younghoon also seemed to claim responsibility. Despite a rough start you began to get along with them. You’d even have them join you on some SNS posts where you’d make funny videos or do dance challenges. Along that save vein you let them post about you on their own socials. Some of the pictures they took were a bit sneaky, but they got really good angles.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?”

“It’s gonna be hell.”

“Is it?”

“We’re filming the wedding. Do you have any idea how much clothes and accessories the bride wears? Not to mention the make-up.”

“But it’s gonna be a lot of fun.” Hyunjae chuckled. “I want to be the first to see you.”

“Aren’t you gonna fight Younghoon for it?”

“It would be very in character. I wonder which of us will be the most popular among the viewers.”

“You’ve both done a great job.”

“But I really want to know which will be the popular ship.”

“We’ll find out during the press tour.”

“I’m really looking forward to that. Although I don’t know if I can just let you go.”

“Huh?”

“You got a whole other industry waiting for you when you’re done here. When would we ever get the chance to cross paths again?”

“I’m sure we will someday.”

“You promise?”

“I can’t make that promise.”

“Ouch. You don’t like me?”

“Hyunjae, like you said, we’re from different industries. I don’t always get to pick my schedules, and you have your own things to do.”

“I’d happily make time for you.”

“We’ll see.”

A leading role was definitely a lot more work than previous jobs, but you didn’t mind. It was all the more fun, and when you had some down time you loved to watch what else was being filmed. Towards the end of filming,everyone was looking forward to the big fight scene between Younghoon and Hyunjae, which was also the end for one of them. They had been rehearsing for a long time, and when the big day came everyone was on set. You were in costume and having the stylist working on you while you watched the scene play out. A roaring applause filled the air when the director yelled ‘cut’ and you were so excited to see this on screen in the coming weeks. Younghoon and Hyunjae noticed you nearby and rushed over, still covered in fake blood and real sweat. Their staff members rushed over with them, trying to clean them up and cool them off.

“Did you like it?” Hyunjae asked. “I looked so cool, didn’t I?”

“Says the loser.” Younghoon commented. “Did you see the whole thing?”

“Yes, I did. You both did a great job. I can’t wait to see the final edit of it.”

“Gosh, I wish I could hug you right now.”

“I’m in costume, so no.”

“I’d ask if you’re gonna miss me.” Hyunjae said. “But I’m still gonna be around. I have a few scenes left to shoot, and we haven’t done our final scene.”

“I know. I can’t get rid of you that easily.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Ya, nothing, let’s go.” Younghoon interrupted. “We have to clean up, come on.”

Younghoon grabbed Hyunjae and the two went off to their changing rooms. After such a scene everyone seemed in high spirits and the rest of the filming went well. Your scenes were all with other characters, so you didn’t see much of them until early the next morning. Despite going off to clean up, the boys still had some scenes in their bloody outfits, some specifically with you.

“… princess… why… why are you crying…?”

“You… you… why would you do this… you didn’t have to… why…”

“Sh, sh… it’s okay… don’t cry… this… this makes it easier… for you…”

“Liar… it just hurts…”

“You have to be strong… for your kingdom… for me… you’ll be a great Queen…”

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…”

“… you have nothing… to apologize for… be happy… my love… for me…”

Hyunjae smiled up at you, bloody teeth and all. Your tears blurred your visions and fell onto his face. Despite your pain he had a smile on his face til the very end. You held him tightly, weeping into his chest.

“Cut! Good job, everyone!”

“… y/n… y/n, darling, you can stop crying now.”

Hyunjae carefully moved to sit up, lifting up your face. You were still sobbing, and now you couldn’t help but choke out a laugh.

“Hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, you did good.”

Hyunjae wrapped his arms around you and gently rubbed your back, chuckling a bit. He knew what it was like to be overwhelmed by your emotions in the moment. He held you until you calmed down, going with you back to your green room. Younghoon had heard the news and came over to see you. Your puffy red eyes made his heart melt.

“Aigoo, my poor girl, are you okay?”

Younghoon pulled you into his arms, assuring you that everything was fine. The two boys went into your dressing room with you, sitting on either side of you on the couch. You weren’t outright sobbing anymore, but you still had some tears.

“It’s okay if you just want to cry.” Younghoon assured. “You must have things bottled up inside.”

“Everyone will love the scene.” Hyunjae added. “You did amazing.”

You honestly felt so embarrassed about the fact you couldn’t stop crying. There was always a lot you had to hold back on as an idol, and the chance to shed some tears just opened the floodgates. At least that was your last scene for the day, so you could just cry until the tears dried up. The boys stayed with you until you were alright, not saying a word but letting yourself get some relief. Once you were alright, and they were sure, they let your staff in to help you clean up and get back to your room. It had been a long day for you, so you needed lots of rest.

The next day everyone was giving you words of encouragement and telling you that you did a great job. Even though you felt like that day was a misstep you got through the rest of filming just fine. Hyunjae still hung around the set, although he wasn’t always in costume. Since he didn’t have much else going on he’d always be around for your scenes, watching you and encouraging you. He was definitely there for your last scene with Younghoon, teasing the other, but also glad to be there to see things close out.

“It’s a beautiful morning.”

“It is.”

It was always hard to film with the light of a sunrise, so this scene had to be done right. You had a lot of expectations, but all these days of filming gave you confidence, and you wanted to end things on a good note. You wanted to be proud of your work.

“You’ll be a wonderful Queen.”

“I don’t think that title suits me. Neither did that of princess.”

“Yet you took care of the kingdom and its people. The title could not be held by another.”

“And what of you? Do you promise me that you’ll be a good King?”

“This is your kingdom, my love. I will care for it as I care for you.”

“I’ll keep you to that.”

Younghoon leaned down to place a soft kiss against your lips, letting it slowly turn to something with more passion. That is until the director yelled ‘cut’ but you two took your time to end things. Younghoon pressed his head against yours, the two of you catching your breath.

“I’d really like to do that again.”

“Maybe if we work together in the future.”

“No, not work, for real.”

“Younghoon, are you-”

“Yes. I am, and I mean it. I want us-”

“No. Don’t say anything, you know what the answer is, so don’t ask.”

You could only offer a smile before disappearing. There was one more day of filming, but you were done with the boys. They still watched, and you could feel Younghoon’s deep stare following you. There wasn’t much avoiding it, especially at the wrap-up party. Just like before you were sat with your co-stars. And like last time the two boys spent most of the night chatting with others. You also didn’t feel as awkward this time around, having gotten to know the people you were working with. The only problem now was the alcohol.

Since this party was to celebrate the end of filming everyone was drinking, and a lot. You still weren’t much for drinks, and it wouldn’t do well with your image. Although at one point in the night Younghoon and Hyunjae insisted they pour you a shot and it was hard to say no given that they had done this before. You took a shot with each of them, getting cheers from everyone around. At least that was done with, but later into the night they insisted on another, saying they didn’t remember the first time. No one took your side in the matter, probably too drunk to remember too, so you took another two shots.

After those you definitely didn’t feel like yourself, but you tried to act normal. It wasn’t long after those second shots that the party started to wind down and people were going home. You were more than ready to leave and go up to find your manager, asking them to bring the car around. They obviously couldn’t drink at all since they had to be the ones to drive you back. You waited outside the restaurant, thankfully the night wasn’t so cold. The car pulled up and you reached to slide the door open when another came over and did it for you.

“Heading back already?”

“Uh… yeah, gotta rest up. I’ll be going back to my usual schedules soon.”

“So you were just gonna leave without saying goodbye?”

“You were busy…”

“I’m never too busy for you.”

Younghoon leaned in for a kiss but you placed your hand at his mouth to stop him. You had been worried about something like this happening all night given how much he drank. There probably wasn’t even much point in saying anything since he probably wouldn’t remember.

“You should get back to the others, I’m sure Hyunjae-”

“Where are you going?”Hyunjae asked, approaching the two of you. “You’re not gonna say goodbye?”

“It’s late and I have to get going.”

“Then we’ll go with you.”

“That’s not-”

“Come on. We got you back to your place last time, let’s do it again.”

Before you could protest, Hyunjae got into the car. Next thing you knew Younghoon was pushing you inside as well and getting in after you. He told your manager to just drive you back to your room, and that they’d be coming along like the previous time. You couldn’t really argue so you just nodded to your manager. They were likely both drunk and not thinking straight. The car ride was quiet and you were dreading when it came to a stop. The boys hopped out first, each holding a hand out to you in order to help. You put on a shy smile and stepped out. You were going to tell your manager to wait in order for the two boys to get a ride back but the quickly said they’d call for their own rides later.

They weren’t leaving much room for argument, so your manager left, and you were stuck with the two. They led you up to your room as they knew where it was, one of them getting the key from your bag and opening the door. If you had the chance to go in first you could have potentially locked them out, but instead Hyunjae walked in and Younghoon dragged you along. When the door shut behind you a chill went down your spine. Being alone with these two wasn’t a good idea. Hyunjae immediately laid down on your bed, making himself comfortable whereas Younghoon had yet to release your arm.

“Uh… you two should head back… I appreciate you bringing me here but-”

“We’re here cause you wanted us.” Younghoon commented. “So why would we leave?”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“Awe, you really don’t remember? We thought you were playing dumb out of embarrassment but two shots of liquor really messed with your memory, huh?”

“I… I don’t understand what you’re talking about.”

“I’m not sure if I should be upset or giddy.” Hyunjae said. “But I can jog your memory.”

“What?”

The two boys shared a knowing look and then Hyunjae pulled out his phone. He seemed to be looking for something, and before you could ask you heard a voice.

“Please…”

“Please, what? You wanna cum? You gotta use your words, babygirl.”

It was your voice. You were begging and whimpering, sounding like a complete mess. You didn’t want to believe it, but it was hard to deny. Hearing your voice also sobered you up.

“I… I wanna… both… both of you…”

“Ah, you think you can take us both? When was the last time someone attended to your needs?”

“What the fuck is that!?”

“What do you think?” Hyunjae chuckled. “The last time we played.”

“You recorded me!?”

“How could we not?” Younghoon added. “You were so adorable.”

“Are… are you trying to blackmail me?”

“Why would we do that? No one else deserves to see and hear such beautiful things.”

“Then… then why-”

“We’re here to keep our promise, remember, well, I guess you don’t.” Hyunjae mentioned. “We only played a little bit, we didn’t get to feel you from the inside cause we had work tomorrow. But we promised to do it right once we were done filming. It’s over now, babygirl, we’re here to take care of you.”

“No, no… I was tipsy… and not thinking-”

“We had more drinks than you.” Younghoon reminded. “Perhaps you took advantage of us. Your two wonderful co-stars that were just trying to get you home after a night of drinks and celebration. We took some selfies and I accidentally hit record before you came onto me.”

“I… what are you insinuating…?”

“The life of an idol. You have to be so careful with any boy you interact with. I’m sure some of your fans weren’t happy about your role. You might get more backlash once the show airs. I know you can overcome all that with our help of course, but if we’re not on good terms… I can’t imagine how my fans will act. We wouldn’t want anyone digging around and finding our… secrets.”

“No, you guys-”

“You asked us to take care of you.” Hyunjae countered. “I have it all on video. You were whining about how you rarely get a good fucking since you’re so busy with schedules and can’t really make any guy friends. We offered our services, and you begged us to be here once we had the time. The press tour doesn’t start for another few days. Plenty of time for us to keep our word.”

“I… uh… no… no this-”

“It’s just between us. There’s no shame. I can’t imagine how difficult the life of an idol is. When you want to step away we could certainly help you get into your industry. You’d get some of your life back, as well as some freedom. When was the last time you were loved? Actually loved, and not just by adoring fans, hm?”

“I don’t know…”

“The answer was when you were with us, but I know you don’t remember right now. How about we help you with that?”

“This isn’t right, it isn’t-”

“Fair?” Younghoon questioned. “What’s not fair is you playing hard to get. Having you is the greatest gift. So many fans love you, but I’d get to love you for real.”

“What…?”

“Come on, don’t tell me you don’t feel anything? We’ve spent the last several weeks falling in love. You can’t tell me there’s nothing.”

“I-”

“That heat of the moment kiss was wonderful.” Hyunjae added. “I know I certainly felt something. Still do, gosh I’ve been waiting to be done with the show. It’s not fair I didn’t end up with you.”

“Next time don’t be the second lead.” Younghoon teased. “But we both can have her now. So what do you say?”

“This… this isn’t right…”

“Then let’s do all the wrong things.”

You were still trying to wrap your head around everything when Younghoon came over and kissed you. His lips tasted like alcohol and you could feel your own sobriety starting to leave you. Although after a moment you pushed him away, taking a breath.

“No… no, I already told you-”

“This will be our secret. Just the three of us.”

You didn’t get a chance to answer before Hyunjae yanked you onto the bed, climbing on top of you and pressing his lips to yours. He kissed you roughly, clearly desperate and no longer holding back. You didn’t kiss back, trying to get him off, but he wasn’t giving you much room to move. He only pulled away for air, staring at you with lust filled eyes. 

“Stop… we’re all… intoxicated…”

“Just a few drinks.” Younghoon commented. “To get us started.”

Hyunjae slid his hands up your shirt, feeling your skin. His sudden touch made you jump, but he kept you under him. Before you had the chance to try and stop him Younghoon grabbed your hands and pinned them above your head. A devilish grin adorned his face.

“Let’s create all those off-screen scenes, shall we?”

His words made you very shy, but you were still at their mercy. Your shirt was pulled up past your bra, then that was moved to expose your breasts. Hyunjae immediately took one into his mouth, his tongue swirling around your sensitive skin and giving your nipple a playful tug. Younghoon kept your arms pinned with one hand while the other massaged your lonely breast, getting a moan out of you. Next thing you knew there were fingers traveling down between your legs. A frustrated groan escaped Hyunjae’s lips as he had to pull away from your breast to get you out of your pants.

His movements clearly let you know he was getting impatient. He was quick to get your legs free, his face diving between your legs this time. You let out a yelp when you felt his nose running up along your panties. Hyunjae took in a deep breath, pushing your legs further apart. You felt his fingers start rubbing you through your panties, the fabric quickly getting wet as it was pushed against your folds. You couldn’t meet his eyes, but that meant your gaze would find Younghoon. That same smile was still on his face.

He made sure you couldn’t escape as he got on top of you, straddling you between his legs and blocking your view of Hyunjae. Now you could only feel what the other boy was doing, leaving the visuals to your imagination. Although Younghoon drew your attention to something else. Despite being fully clothed and atop you, he still had enough room to unzip his pants and pull his dick out. He already had a bit of a hard-on and didn’t feel shy about stroking himself in front of you. He maintained heavy eye contact as he twitched and moaned, trying to keep some control. You shut your eyes, but he didn’t seem to like that.

“No, no, none of that.”

You felt a light slap on your cheek, Younghoon encouraging you to open your eyes. As you did so you were met with his smiling face. Then you felt Hyunjae push your panties aside, running his cold fingers against your core. Another yelp escaped your lips.

“She’s wet and ready, hyung.”

“Prep her properly, no need to rush a good thing.”

You could hear Hyunjae whining but he didn’t do anything rash. Instead you felt a finger go into your core, a moan escaping you. Both boys chuckled, but continued with their actions.

“Can I cum on your pretty tits?” Younghoon asked between moans. “I’ll try not to aim for your lips.”

As you thought to give an answer you felt a second finger enter you, Younghoon taking your moan as approval. He started stroking himself faster, throwing his head back in ecstasy and bucking his hips forward. He didn’t last long after that, spilling his seed onto your chest, your breasts, and keeping to his word. You felt the warmth and stickiness on your skin, the sensation adding onto what you were already feeling. By now you were certainly getting overwhelmed.

“I can’t hold back anymore.”

Hyunjae removed his fingers then shoved Younghoon off of you. He climbed on to the bed, spreading your legs apart. He quickly undid his pants, stroking himself to get hard and then you felt him stretch you open. A loud moan escaped your lips and you arched your back, desperately grasping at the bedsheets.

“Oh, fuck, oh, fuck, oh fuck.”

“I’m that good, baby girl?”

You couldn’t really talk anymore, just feeling everything. It really had been a long time since you were last taken care of in such a manner. You slowly began to move with Hyunjae’s thrust, only focusing on your own pleasure. You didn’t even bother holding back your moans, just letting everything go and being in the moment. Perhaps it was also the alcohol keeping your mind off the reality of your situation. Hyunjae kept a steady rhythm, his own groans and moans dancing alongside yours. You could tell he was close, as were you, but before either of you could reach climax everything stopped.

Younghoon had pulled the other boy away from you, leaving you suddenly empty. You whimpered, more upset over the loss of friction and ignoring what the other two were yelling about. It wasn’t until you felt two dibs in the bed that you realized their attention had returned to you. Hyunjae pulled you up, meeting your lips with his own. You kissed back, desperate to return to where you were. Once he pulled away he was giggling, keeping an arm wrapped around your waist, the other guiding his cock back into you.

A satisfied moan escaped your lips, and you leaned against Hyunjae. You didn’t notice Younghoon coming up from behind at first, not until you felt his hand down between your legs. His fingers massaged your clit, getting you to that edge again but he stopped short. You whimpered, wanting them to stop teasing you. Although soon enough you realized this was prep for something more. You felt something else pressing against your back, and then dipping between your legs. You had little time to process before you felt Hyunjae moving again, soon followed by another joining the party.

You grabbed onto Hyunjae, throwing your head back and resting against Younghoon’s shoulder. They both moved together, overwhelming you with pleasure. You were seeing white, hands exploring your body and smearing around the fluids on your chest. You were completely at their mercy now, letting them do as they pleased with your body. You didn’t last long in their embrace, being pushed over the edge so viciously, given no moment to breathe. Your body shook with pleasure as they kept moving inside you, taking advantage of your current state and loving the way you squeezed them tightly.

You weren’t given a break. Both boys continuing in their own desire for orgasm and using your body to do so. You were partially conscious, but well aware of the warmth between your legs. At some point you were laying down again, sandwiched between your co-stars, snuggling against one of them. You felt a hand on your head, petting you gently, but you were too worn out to care. The morning would be a very different story though.

“I hope you’ll stay with us.” Hyunjae mumbled. “We’d take such good care of you.”

“Hm…”

“I guess that’s a yes.”

“Either way.” Younghoon added. “She’s ours now.”

[slasher-art]

With these two, it's so much fun to come up with new AU. :))

Therefore, I am happy to hurry to introduce you to a new one, in which Def is a famous fashion model who has devoted himself to the fashion industry and art in the genre of eroticism.

And Sin is a professional photographer who shoots his work exclusively in extreme conditions and places, but it so happened that he had to say goodbye to his favorite thing for a while.

The life of the famous extreme photographer has gone downhill after an accident, as a result of which his hands can no longer hold the camera as confidently as before. Medical bills, lack of usual work push him to a terrible decision - he is already ready to photograph weddings. But at the last moment, when the worst seemed inevitable, an unusual model appears in his studio, ready to generously pay for urgent work. For urgent and a little... um... unusual work.

Def found himself in a situation that he would never have allowed of his own free will, because he needs to give an order for a major magazine the other day, failure to meet deadlines threatens with mind-blowing forfeites, and the photos themselves are already completely ready and waiting in the wings. However, the photos are in the possession of thе person with whom the model does not want to have anything to do with after what he did to him, that Steph is ready to lose both money and part of his impeccable reputation as a responsible person who does not allow such breakdowns, just to never see him again .

But the advice he receives in time makes him rush to Sin's studio with an offer that could change a lot in their lives.

Another would doubt it, but Sin, apparently, missed extreme too much, since he undertook to be a personal photographer for a gay model working with very explicit magazines ... being himself an ardent non-Gay. Well, at least Sin is sure of it. Was sure. 100 percent. Or 95. 80 percent after a week of work in the same studio with Def.

The fact is that his model turned out to be not only very liberated, which is natural for such a professional, but also unusually flirtatious, daring, playful ... wonderful ... (heterosexual "we are only friends" admiring sigh) Noticing any manifestation of embarrassment and interest to his own person from Sin I'mNotGay. And having fun to the fullest, teasing Sin about his orientation, steadfastly deviating towards Def-seducer.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

In love with the peachy 1889 Starrett House in Port Townsend, Washington. This amazing home has 11bd. & 10ba. Just reduced to $1.42M. The gorgeous large home is currently a B&B, b/c it’s so large and most of the antique furnishings are included in the price.

Isn’t the entrance and stairs stunning?  The rare free hung staircase winds up the 70 foot tower and culminates in a dome with frescoes. The floor plan is like a wedding cake with the floors replicating rooms, alcoves and porches stacked on each layer.

What a cozy sitting room. The original fireplace is gorgeous and look at the wallpaper border- it’s so beautiful, and they painted the molding white, but look at the accents that match the wallpaper.

The colors and patterns in this home are fabulous. Look at the ceiling in this dining room? 

This large sitting room has 2 sets of pocket doors to close it off from the entrance hall and the dining room. The decorative details in this home are so special. 

It doesn’t get any more authentic than this kitchen. Updated cabinets and appliances were fit into the original kitchen’s footprint. Notice the industrial sink in this professional kitchen.

Isn’t this cute? They made this back room into a small library.

Every bd. is completely decorated. This one has a lovely alcove. 

Very nicely remodeled bath as a wonderful vintage look.

The new owner will get all this gorgeous furniture. That’s amazing.

This room has a larger alcove. Also, notice the authentic light fixtures.

The attic is completely finished and is a flexible space.

There is also a separate guest quarter. 

This would be a nice space to accommodate a family.

In the basement is also an owner’s office.

Beautiful home. It has a small terrace on the top floor, plus a nice back porch. The fenced in yard is large enough to seat guests outdoors.

https://www.priceypads.com/turn-key-1889-starrett-house-reduced-to-1-42m-in-port-townsend-washington/

[girlactionfigure]

🔘 Wed morning  - ISRAEL REALTIME - Connecting to Israel in Realtime

( 1 of 2 )

🟨 Many people immediately asked for evidence the Rafah attack reports were false, which the IDF provided definitively around 12 hours later.  And people asked: how did we know basically immediately?

- - if Hamas is publicizing it, it’s a lie.  They literally have created an industry with cameramen, lighting, professional horror makeup people, etc.  Yesterday’s CNN headline picture was obviously posed, with makeup on the mourning people.

- - when the figures change every hour or every report, it’s a lie.  You can tell their PR people are throwing out numbers until they see what gets accepted.

- - when the details don’t make sense, it’s likely a lie.

BUT, the reporters and then the public absorbs THE FIRST INFO - no matter how ridiculous.  We applaud those fighting the good fight with information, it’s always too late.  As from the next item below, we have world policy being made on the basis of the lie.  

One response I have heard is to immediately emphasize and reflect, which might force people to think a bit, like this: “I heard the Israelis bombed 50 innocent people!”… “Really?  I heard they bombed 5 million innocent children holding build-a-bears! And I saw a picture!  Nice bears though. And beautiful outfits on the children, wonder where you can buy them?”  

.. And they try again: Arab channels are reporting about 21 dead in an attack by an Israeli warplane on the tent area in Mawasi of Rafah in the southern Gaza Strip.  No documentation, no pictures, but watch for the Al Jazeera and CNN headlines.  IDF: no such attack.

Regarding the original, here’s it all in a nice video: https://x.com/AbuAliEnglishB1/status/1795504079491272925?t=BI4qgX821mbOTPwS2JaNOw&s=19

▪️ALGERIA AND SOUTH AFRICA TO REQUEST UN SEC COUNCIL RESOLUTION RE: RAFAH.  

▪️CROSS GREEN LINE SHOOTING - TULKARM to BAT HEFER.. masked terrorists identified with Hamas were seen shooting at Bat Hefer from the Tulkarm border wall, and yesterday there was an infiltration team that cross the wall and was captured. Also noting that Route 6 follows directly along part of the wall, putting both the towns and the major Israel traffic route at risk. (N12)

"Vengeance and Liberation Youth" Battalion take responsibility for shooting at Bat Hefer.

▪️PM ORDERS HALT ON “SETTLEMENT” HOUSE DESTRUCTION, DEFENSE DEPT DOES IT ANYWAY.. Despite Prime Minister Netanyahu's order not to destroy houses belonging to reservists during wartime - security forces destroyed this morning near the settlement of Adam a house of a soldier who is in the reserves. The Prime Minister's Office stated that his directive is still in effect. 

▪️CHINA REQUESTS HOUTHIS STOP SHIP ATTACKS, HOUTHIS SAY NO.. there was a meeting of the Chinese Foreign Minister in Yemen with senior officials in Yemen to stop the Houthi attacks in the Red and Arabian seas.  The answer: no.

🔘 Wed morning  - ISRAEL REALTIME - Connecting to Israel in Realtime

( 2 of 2 )

▪️3 HERO SOLDIERS HAVE FALLEN.. (not from our regular source, so I’m less sure of this)  Paratroopers Brigade 50, Amir Glilov, Uri Bar Or, Udi Ofer.  (No ages or locations in the notice).  May their families be comforted among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem, and may G-d avenge their blood.

▪️ECONOMY - INTEREST RATES.. Bank of Israel leaves the interest rate unchanged at 4.5%; The prime interest rate - 6%.  The dollar-shekel rate stays steady on the news at $1 = NIS 3.69

▪️SCAM / HACK WARNING.. People are receiving an incoming call from a confidential number, the speaker identifies as a representative of the police cyber team OR the national HQ for the protection of children OR the police info center, and requests that they provide a code received in an SMS message.

The code they ask for is the WhatsApp activation code, and will allow the hacker to take control of your WhatsApp.

NOBODY official will call you and ask for any SMS codes, EVER.  It’s a scam!

Hack attempts can be reported to the cyber center -> dial 119.

The cyber center recommends turning on 2 step verification for WhatsApp: Settings>Account>Two-step verification.

♦️Gaza: Air force attacks east of Khan Yunis and Sheikh Radwan.

♦️Gaza: Airstrikes in Nusirat, central and western Rafah.

♦️Gaza: Artillery in various areas in Rafah, north of Nusirat, east of Al-Maazi and Al-Boreij, east of Sajaiya, Jabaliya and Beit Lahiya.

♦️COUNTER-TERROR operations overnight in Shevika (near Tulkarm) and Tubas and Shoafat.  Plenty of gunfire, explosives thrown at security vehicles.

⭕ HOUTHIS shot 5 missiles at a Greek ship yesterday. HIT with 3 !

⭕ HEZBOLLAH ROCKETS at Shtula, 2 rounds.

[maskyish]

Banri's Birthday Rabbit TV 2023 - Episode 1 - "Banri's Wedding?!"

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

Please note: I am NOT a professional and my level of JP is very, very basic. I do this for practice and to share with other fans for fun. Please take my translations with a grain of salt as there may be mistakes. If you see any, please let me know and I can correct them. If anyone else has this card and wants to translate this at any time then please feel free to do so!

*door opens* 

Riku: Manager! President…! 

Tsumugi: Ah, everyone! Thank you for coming! I’m sorry to have called you all so suddenly….

Riku: Is it really true that Banri-san is getting married?! 

Tsumugi: Huuh?! 

Tamaki: I didn’t hear anything about this from Ban-chan!! 

Sogo: Me neither…! 

Nagi: Is this why you’ve called us here today? 

Iori: If this is true, we could’ve made preparations to celebrate…! 

Mitsuki: Exactly, there’s no need to be a stranger! I would have made a cake or two! 

Yamato: Calm down, you guys. So…. is it actually true, President? 

Otoharu: Ahaha. This is pretty interesting, isn’t it? 

Tsumugi: Pr- President?! 

Otoharu: Well, if that’s the case and Banri-kun is getting married, what will you all do? 

Mitsuki: Of course we have to have a huge celebration! Not just with cakes, but a whole feast! 

Yamato: For starters, I’ll prepare the finest alcohol and we can have a drink. I’d like to stay up all night and hear the story of how he met his other half. 

Tamaki: ….. I’m….. kinda lonely. 

Tamaki: I love Ban-chan, and I’m happy for him, but….. 

Sogo: … I think so, too. I’d like to talk to Banri-san first. 

Riku: If he has a family, he wouldn’t be able to support us like he does now, right…? 

Nagi: Even so, we have to send him off with a smile. Just as Banri has always done for us. 

Iori: In the first place… is it really true? I just can’t believe he would keep this from us….  

Otoharu: Hmm, well, it’s not true. 

IDOLiSH7: Eh?

Otoharu: Banri-kun isn’t getting married. 

IDOLiSH7: Whaaa—! 

Tsumugi: I- I’m sorry, everyone! And President, please don’t say things that can cause them to be so uneasy!  

Otoharu: Ah ha ha. Sorry, sorry. 

Riku: Thank goodness…. I was thinking about if it was maybe with our manager or something….

Otoharu: What was that? 

Yamato: No, no, absolutely not. 

Nagi: As long as my eyes are blue, I will not allow it. 

Otoharu: I will also never allow it. 

Tsumugi: E-enough! In any case, it was just a misunderstanding. 

Mitsuki: So, what did Riku hear then? About Banri-san telling the staff he was taking time off for a wedding. 

Tsumugi: Well, that’s what I’ve called you all here to discuss today…. 

Tsumugi: Someone in the industry is holding a wedding ceremony, so Banri-san and I will be attending. 

Otoharu: Originally, I was going to go as the representative, however some work came up. 

Tsumugi: I’ve heard from the other companies that Anesagi-san, Okazaki-san, and Utsugi-san will also be going…. 

Otoharu: The wedding ceremony will be held in Karuizawa, so I thought it would be a good chance for the managers to take a vacation as well. 

Otoharu: It might be an inconvenience to everyone for a little while, but I plan to follow up with the other staff and give them my thanks. 

Tsumugi: I’ll be checking my phone from time to time, so please contact me should anything happen! 

Yamato: Haha. Well, I figured it was something like that.

Nagi: OH! But you seemed to be the most flustered, Yamato. 

Yamato: What is this guy even saying? 

Iori: I swear, you’re too quick to jump to conclusions upon hearing the word “wedding”, Nanase-san. 

Riku: Huh?! Even you froze up when I told you, Iori! 

Mitsuki: Jeez! The instant you guys realized it was a misunderstanding, your facial expressions relaxed! 

Sogo: I’m glad we know now. Manager, please don’t worry about us and enjoy your time off.  

Tamaki: Yeah! You and Ban-chan are always working hard. I got nervous when we got called to the office! 

Tsumugi: Thank you, everyone….! 

Otoharu: I’m glad. I hope all the managers can go and refresh themselves. 

Riku: Doesn’t Karuizawa have a famous gelato shop? Tenn-nii went there before while on location and said it was delicious! 

Yamato: That sounds nice. Go ahead and enjoy some sweets too. 

Sogo: I know of a few recommendations for places as well, I can tell you about them later. 

Mitsuki: Sweet! There’s a restaurant I wanted to try too, so if you’d like to go, you can let me know what you think! 

Nagi: Your happiness is my happiness. Please go and relax to your heart’s content. 

Tsumugi: Thank you very much…! I’ll accept everyone’s kindness and enjoy myself to the fullest! 

Tamaki: You absolutely have to try the local King Pudding flavor with grape mousse in it, no matter what! It’s seriously delicious! 

Tsumugi: I will! I’ll bring some back as a souvenir, too! 

Tamaki: Yaaay~! 

Iori: Yotsuba-san, please do not coerce her into buying you souvenirs so nonchalantly. 

Iori: Even though it’s already September, it’s still hot out, so please take care against the heat. 

Riku: Forget about work while in Karuizawa and just enjoy your time with all the other managers! 

Tamaki: Oh yeah! Since all the managers will be there, why not just have that party there? 

Sogo: That’s true, it might be the perfect opportunity! 

Tsumugi: ‘That’ party? 

Nagi: Banri’s birthday party! We all talked about having the yearly celebration! 

Yamato: It’s that time of the year, after all. 

Tsumugi: I see….! I’d love to help! Did you already have something in mind? 

Riku: Yeah! Actually…. 

—–––––

Anesagi: …. And that’s about it for next month’s schedule. 

Anesagi: On another note, I have my wedding coming up soon. So I’ll be away from the office for a few days. 

TRIGGER: Your wedding?! 

Gaku: Wait, wait. Are you being serious, Anesagi? Congrats! Let’s celebrate together! 

Tenn: Congratulations, Anesagi-san…. I’m really happy to hear such wonderful news. 

Ryuu: I’m happy too! She's getting married, huh…. It’s making me cry a little! 

Anesagi: W-wait a minute, you guys…. 

Gaku: So? What kind of person are they? I hope they’ll properly treasure you. 

Tenn: The entertainment industry is a unique business, so I can’t help but wonder if they have an understanding of the work you do so that it doesn’t put a burden on you, Anesagi-san. 

Ryuu: I think whoever she chose must be a good person, but there’s the smallest chance that’s not the case, right? So if you don’t mind, we’d like to meet them, too. 

Anesagi: Hold your horses! It got interesting so I figured I’d just keep quiet and listen for a while, but then I heard what you were saying about me. 

Anesagi: I’m not the one getting married, it’s an acquaintance of mine! I’m just attending the wedding! 

TRIGGER: An acquaintance?! 

Ryuu: W- what…! I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions…! 

Gaku: So you’re only attending! It was an easy mistake to make, huh! 

Tenn: Even though you were the first one to misunderstand, Gaku.  

Anesagi: Fufu. Sorry about that. Just as I was thinking you were happy for me, you guys suddenly got over-protective so it was fun to watch. 

Anesagi: But if I were to actually get married, you would be worried about me like this, huh. 

Gaku: Of course we would worry! If we’re to entrust you to someone, then they can’t be half-hearted about it. 

Ryuu: You’re our special manager. We want your partner to cherish you, too. 

Tenn: Just as you think about us, we also think about you, Anesagi-san. 

Anesagi: You guys…. 

Anesagi: Thank you. But for right now, my only love is my work so I promise you don’t have to worry about it for a while. 

Anesagi: The wedding will be held in Karuizawa, so I’ll be taking some time off and staying there, but feel free to contact me for anything. 

Gaku: Forget about work and just enjoy yourself! There’s a lot of good food there, right? Plus the air is clean! 

Tenn: That’s true. There’s a lot of quiet cafes to relax in too. Or maybe you can sit on the terrace. 

Ryuu: It’s too early for the leaves to be turning yet, but there’s still a lot of nature so please take your time and enjoy it! 

Anesagi: Fufu. Thank you. I’ll go and recharge, and when I get back I look forward to making the best work with you guys! 

—–––––

Rintaro: ….. Rinto will be absent for his wedding soon. So I hope you both will be able to send him off with a smile. 

Yuki: Sure, whatever you say. Don’t phrase things in a purposefully misleading way. Okarin is just attending a wedding. 

Momo: We already heard about it from him! 

Rintaro: Ehh–! How boring. I thought I’d get to see you guys panic, like, “What marriage?!” 

*door opens* 

Okarin: Please stop trying to get reactions from people for your own entertainment.

Rintaro: Gh, Rinto. 

Yuki: Instead of doing such nonsense, just have your own wedding. 

Momo: Aren’t you keeping your wife waiting? Hasn’t it been awhile since your registration? 

Rintaro: I can’t afford to leave a gap in my workload right now. 

Yuki: I wish you would just retire already. 

Okarin: Alright, come on now, Yuki-kun. I’ll be sure to pass along the congratulatory gift you two left with me. 

Momo: Thanks, Okarin! We wanted to go too since they’ve done a lot for us. 

Yuki: Could all our shoots be moved to Karuizawa? 

Momo: Ahaha! Even if the camera was rolling, we could take a nap under the trees with the sun filtering through. 

Yuki: I’d like to go for a month. 

Rintaro: Then, we can make it a job to have Yuki compose a song for my wedding and have the music video shot in Karuizawa. 

Yuki: Okarin, shut this guy up. 

Okarin: Idols shouldn’t furrow their brows like that…! You shouldn’t ever show a face like that on camera! And President, please stop messing around! 

Rintaro: I thought it would be nice.

Okarin: I’ll bring back souvenirs. Some sausage for Momo-kun, and some local vegetables for Yuki-kun! 

Yuki: That'd make me happy, but since it’s a rare vacation, I think you should just relax and go with the flow. 

Momo: Exactly! The managers from the other offices will be going too, right? I’m sure you’ll have lots to talk about, so just enjoy yourselves! 

Okarin: Thank you very much. There’s a lot I’m worried about, but I’ll take your word for it and just have fun.

—–––––

Shirou Utsugi: ….. So, that’s why I’ve called you all here. I’ll be going to Karuizawa to attend an acquaintance’s wedding, so I’ll be taking some time off. 

Touma: Eh?! You’re getting married?! 

Haruka: Huh? What are you talking about? 

Minami: He just told us he’s going to an acquaintance’s wedding. 

Touma: O- OH….. I see. That scared me….! 

Torao: This is why I told you that you drank too much yesterday. This guy’s head is foggy. 

Touma: Haha, my bad. Tora was drinking, and it got too lively….

Haruka: What, you two went out drinking together? This is the first I’m hearing about it. 

Minami: It seems like you two had work together yesterday, but isn’t it heartless you didn’t tell me? 

Shirou Utsugi: Umm… Are you fighting? 

ZOOL: We’re not! 

Shirou Utsugi: Is that so? Well, after a reaction like that, I look forward to seeing what kind of reaction I would get if I really got married. 

Zool: …………

Minami: He doesn’t really seem like the domestic type, but I could see him suddenly dropping a bombshell on us one day and telling us “I’m getting married"... 

Torao: Although he’s never shown us even a trace of a woman, he definitely seems to fall into the category of someone who would be popular with women…. 

Touma: I don’t know why, but it feels like he’d marry someone really famous….

Haruka: Utsugi-san is really kind, so maybe he’d be surprisingly family-oriented? I could see him cooking home-made meals on his off days….  

Haruka: ….. But, still…..

Haruka: …. It’d probably be sorta lonely. 

Shirou Utsugi: You’d be lonely? 

Haruka: No, not really, I’d just congratulate you normally!! It’s not like I wouldn’t want you to get married…! 

Minami: I understand. It’d be lonely if he had someone special besides us. 

Touma: I see… Well, when you put it like that…. 

Torao: Haha. It seems we’ve become quite attached to Utsugi-san. 

Shirou Utsugi: You guys…. Thank you. That makes me very happy.

Shirou Utsugi: My special ones are the ones who are in ZOOL. 

Haruka: …… Yeah. We know. (1) That’s why you can spread your wings as much as you’d like. 

Minami: We’re looking forward to the souvenirs. 

Torao: There’s some good stores there, I can tell you about them later. 

Touma: We’ll rabbichat you if anything happens, so right now your only job is to take a break! 

Shirou Utsugi: Haha, thank you very much. I’ll be sure to strengthen my friendships with the other managers as well. 

—–––––

End of Episode 1

TL Notes:

The word Haruka uses here has the connotation of like "we understand the feelings you're trying to convey"

[dollyyun]

𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒈𝒊𝒓𝒍𝒔 | chap 14

SYPNOSIS: wherein Hwang Stella's life is tangled in a predicament involving her clandestine identity as a racer, her seemingly daily life as the official heir to the Hwang Empire, and seven guys with whom she has a complex history with.

PAIRING: enhypen members x fem oc.

GENRE: 18+ (mdni), reverse harem, chaebols, semi-college & racing, eventual adulthood, non-idol au, eventual enha being f1 drivers, multiple pov (this fic is written in first pov).

WARNINGS: expletives, heartbreaks.

WORD COUNT: 8k+

TAGLIST: @aishigrey @kgneptun

🍒 MASTERLIST 🍒

Four years ago, everything crumbled when my father forced me to quit racing and forced me into a marriage with his business partner's daughter. Since I had little control over my life at that point in time, I chose to ruin my friendship with the guys as well as Stella. I messed up everything with them and chose to leave them without any closure.

There hasn't been a day where I don't regret hurting Stella that night at the gala. The look on her face haunts me, even in my slumber. If I could, I would want to make things right with the people I left behind.

After my family and I moved to London, I lived my life in blue, and I wasn't the same, especially whenever my father forced me to spend my day with the woman I would be marrying. On the other hand, she felt the same way as I did, as she, too, had to leave the love of her life. It was torturous, and my heart ached in yearning for things to be the way they used to. I missed my best friends, I missed Stella, and above all, I missed racing.

I even had plans to make racing a permanent career. My father, he's the catalyst for everything that went wrong in my life. I hated him. My mother, who miraculously recovered, pleaded with my father not to control and dictate my life. He didn't relent, as expected from a cold-blooded man, but he had no idea how determined I was to gain control of my life.

The week before the wedding day, I had a talk with his business partner and offered him a great deal, thanks to my business management expertise. Thankfully, he accepted, and thus, I no longer needed to marry his daughter. It certainly wasn't an easy journey, especially when my father was the reason behind my fucked-up mental health.

My father didn't speak or glance at me after what happened. My mother tried to talk to him, but my father wouldn't budge. I took his silence as finally getting to do whatever I wanted, and so I pursued my racing venture.

Months later, I entered the F1 industry, where I had to go through such tribulations to get to where I am now. It took me a whole year to earn myself a spot. Thus, I am now a professional Formula One driver.

Aston Martin. The team I am on and represent. I am blessed to have such an incredible, supportive team. I couldn't have made it without them. Even though I am surrounded by genuine, great people, it still isn't enough to fill the void in my heart. The void that only certain individuals can fill.

My eyes harden with resolution as I pour all of my emotions into the practice, and my hands are coordinating the functions. I've been spending an hour or so in the driving simulator, where we practice before heading outside to race on the circuit. I guess I must've been practicing relentlessly as I hear somebody calling my name.

"Jungwon!" The team principal, who goes by Steven, approaches me. "You've been at it for hours, son! Finish the last lap and go for a break!" I know he means well, but I really don't feel like it. Especially when there is a high chance of me seeing my best friends.

After what happened two nights ago, when I heard everything from them at the communal party, I didn't know how to act or what to feel. But I know for a fact that I've missed out on a lot.

Eventually, I yield as I force myself to finish the last lap. I remove my hand gloves with a sigh before rising from my seat. I turn around just to meet Steven, who is looking at me with concern. "Are you alright, son? I've never seen you like that."

I give him a tight smile. "I'm just pushing myself to get a perfect result for the Grand Prix."

Steven places his hand on my shoulder firmly. "I know you want to win, but don't push yourself too hard. The Grand Prix isn't happening until two months later. You still have a lot of time to practice. I don't want my best driver to fall sick."

"Got it." I nod my head, and that is enough to satisfy him before he walks away. I glance at the simulator room, where there are some drivers from different teams who have just started practicing.

Since all of the other teams are involved in the Grand Prix that will happen in Brooklyn, we are required to attend and gather at the same headquarters, which is one of the largest headquarters in the US, including practicing at the same arena.

Disappointment befalls me as I don't see any familiar faces. Even so, I don't know if I have the right to feel that way. Surely, they must be feeling resentful towards me. 

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

I stop dead in my tracks as soon as I lock eyes with Jay, just when I'm about to head to the automat. He's not alone. By his side is Sunoo. Initially, I didn't expect all of them to end up being F1 drivers, but what I didn't expect most was the fact that they were all separated into different teams.

It struck me deeply that I have indeed missed out on a lot.

I clench my jaw and look away from him before proceeding to walk past them. How could I ever speak to him normally after leaving them?

"Jungwon, wait." Jay speaks up, making me freeze on the spot. Swallowing down hard, I turn around to meet his eyes one more time. "How are you doing?"

I definitely didn't expect him to ask such a question. Even Sunoo appears surprised by Jay's inquiry, but the latter maintains eye contact with me.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. I can't help it. With Jay, I feel the need to be honest. "But I'm alive, so....." I manage a smile, though a bitter one.

"Why did you leave the way you did?" Sunoo steps forward, his eyes hardening, but even I can see that he yearns to be the way we were. "You didn't even give us closure. We would've understood the position you were in. I thought you were our best friend."

The atmosphere feels heavy. My heart aches tremendously upon knowing that I have hurt more than one person. I look down, feeling ashamed and regretful. "I'm sorry." I say quietly. "I didn't have control of my life back then, and I've been through so much. I know that such excuses don't justify my actions, but just know that I regret everything."

There is a protracted silence before I hear footsteps approaching me. As I look up, I am startled when Sunoo lands a punch on my shoulder, though the impact is not hard. He looks at me with glistening eyes. "You fool. We've missed you so much."

The backs of my eyes burn. "How could you have missed me after what I've done?"

"Because we know you, Jungwon." Jay places his hand firmly on my shoulder. "Shit happened in life, I get it."

Thinking of all the hardships I've been through reopens my wound. Before I know it, Jay embraces me in a hug, with Sunoo joining in. I allow my tears to flow freely as I cling to them. My best friends, who were like my brothers.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Jay and Sunoo reveal everything to me, not missing out on any details. Everything, including the major incident four years ago by Hwang Minhyuk. I'm genuinely shocked when they also reveal that they nearly lost Heeseung, as he sustained a fatal injury to his stomach. Then they proceeded to tell me about Stella and her sudden disappearance from their lives.

To say I've missed out on a lot is an understatement.

I rub my face while a headache begins to grow. "So what happens with Stella now? I heard everything the other night, by the way."

Sunoo and Jay exchange glances before Jay speaks up. "I have no idea. She made it clear to us that she didn't want to see us anymore."

"Which is impossible since we now know that she works in the same industry as us." Sunoo adds with a sigh. "We will probably be seeing her more now. I heard from someone that she's an external travel manager."

I look at them with watchful eyes. "Do you guys love her? I'm not talking about the friend kind of love."

"I do. I really do." Jay mutters, his eyes downcast. "As much as I want to move on from her, my heart can't seem to do that."

I look at Sunoo, whose face is unreadable. "I mean, Stella and I were nothing." He says. "Sure, I voluntarily took part in our parents' schemes, but it's hard not to like her with our moments spent." He fiddles with his fingers. "I even had affection for her."

"Great. Not only do we compete in racing, but we compete for her heart as well." I chuckle dryly.

"There is no competition when she tells herself to forget her." Sunoo frowns. "She clearly hates us now."

"Maybe, or maybe not." I shrug my shoulders. "If she hates us, why did she chase after me the first time we met days ago?"

"She chased you?" Jay asks.

"Yeah. I was just buying an iced Americano at some cafe." I tell him as I recall. "I was just heading to meet my team after buying when she called for me from behind. Then she asked about how I was doing and etcetera."

"Still, she looked at us as if we were her enemies." Sunoo counters. "I don't want her to hate us any more than she does now if we decide to chase her."

I open my mouth to speak, but a familiar voice interjects. "Did somebody say 'chase her'?"

I turn around just to see Heeseung and Jake, both in the same gearing suit since they are on the same team after all. Their eyes don't seem to be surprised to see me.

"Jungwon." Heeseung greets me warmly, while I feel wary. He doesn't look like he hates me, but I can't be too sure.

"Heeseung, Jake." I greet them awkwardly.

To my great surprise, Jake engulfs me in a hug—a tight one at that. "I've missed you so much, man." Jake pats my back before he pulls away with a smile on his face. I begin to relax my muscles.

"Jungwon, it's good to have you back." Heeseung pats my shoulder firmly, but I don't hesitate to hug him while my heart aches in a good way. Even though we're incomplete, this is enough to fill the void in my heart.

"We can catch up later." Heeseung tells me before his eyes drift to Jay and Sunoo. "Now what is it about chasing after Stella?"

"We didn't!" Sunoo exclaims. "We were just saying that if we decided to chase Stella."

"Too late. We've already made up our minds." Jake grins. "We have a new mission now."

My pulse thrums in anticipation. "And what does the new mission entail?"

"It's simple. All we have to do is make her fall in love with us all over again." Heeseung answers calmly. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm not about to let her go for the second time."

"I'm in." Jay steps forward. "Like Heeseung said, do we really want to let our precious girl go when the opportunity is open?"

Although no one speaks up, one thing is for sure is that we have collectively agreed on the idea. Maybe we can't mend anything that is broken with her, but we can try to make her like us again, or even love. I will be damned if I don't try anything. Heck, I'm willing to wait for her love, even if it takes years.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

I didn't get an ounce of sleep last night. I kept tossing and turning with a lot of things on my mind. One of them was about Stella. I can't say that I'm confident in getting her to love me back, but I'm willing to try anything. Now that I've taken control over my life, no one can stop me from doing whatever I want, including pursuing Stella.

The thunderous blaring abruptly pulls me out of the trance, prompting me to focus on the view of familiar vehicles speeding on the stupendous circuit. I stand alongside some of the people on my team with my arms crossed over my chest while I focus on watching my opponents as they compete against each other.

Today, all of the drivers are required to attend and participate in the trials. Not only do we need to participate in the trials, but we also need to test out the new vehicles that are given to us. We do not want any last-minute enhancements or even to risk any accidents, all because the new vehicles turn out to be incompetent.

Right, I have to focus. It'll be my turn next.

However, my ears perk up at the familiar feminine voice, to which I can't help but avert my gaze from the circuit. My gaze lands on Stella, who is speaking with Steven while she appears to be holding a blue clipboard in her grasp.

Since I'm only a few feet away from them, I decide to eavesdrop. They are discussing business matters. I bite my lips, debating whether I should include myself in their conversation or not.

Before I know it, I am already approaching them. Stella's eyes meet mine, and at once, the smile on her face falters.

Steven turns to the side and greets me with a delightful smile, oblivious to the tension between Stella and me. "Jungwon! I'm sure you haven't had the pleasure to meet Stella!"

"We haven't." Stella says tersely, and she smiles once more, but even I can tell how fake her smile is. "I'm Hwang Stella."

So this is how she wants to play.

I raise my eyebrow while my lips are threatening to form a smirk, and they do. "It's nice meeting you, Stella." I extend my palm to her, and she has no choice but to play along. As soon as she places her hand on my palm, I grip it firmly before raising it to my lips and planting a kiss on her knuckles. I maintain unwavering eye contact with her. "Jungwon."

I can see the way she deflates a little, as if my mere gesture has an impact on her. I hold her hand a little longer before slowly releasing it. Thankfully, Steven is still oblivious to the way he acts.

"Stella here has been working for this organisation for a year, and yet, her work is remarkable!" Steven praises her, and I feel my chest swell with pride for her. "She'll be working alongside other managers for this upcoming Grand Prix, and she'll have to work closely with you lads."

The smirk on my lips still persists while I don't look away from her cold yet wavering eyes. "I look forward to working closely with you, Stella."

"Jungwon! You're up next!" That's my cue.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Sweats trickle down my skin as the air feels hot, while my hands are expertly operating the functions with my muscles flexing every now and then. A muscle pulses in my jaw as my eyes harden, having no intention of losing against my opponents, even though some of them turn out to be my best friends.

Though this is only a trial, I can't afford to lose and disappoint my team. Aston Martin was placed fourth at the previous Grand Prix, and I won't allow my team to fail once more. Other than that, I can't deny that I also want to impress Stella, if she is even watching.

"Shit!" I cuss lowly as soon as the brake doesn't seem to be working. Not only is the brake malfunctioning, but so is the steering wheel.

I look in the rearview mirror, noticing Sunghoon, Heeseung, and Sunoo catching up to me. As much as I want to cross over the finishing line first, I don't want to risk involving them in an accident. And so, as my vehicle is gradually flailing, I use my full strength as I grip the steering wheel tightly, turning it to the side while the screeching sound brings a grimace to my face.

Alas, the back of my vehicle hits the fences, prompting my body to jolt from the abrupt impact. Thankfully, it has come to a stop, but the damage has been done. This vehicle has failed me. Such incompetence.

I step out of the vehicle before removing my helmet roughly while a scowl etches my face. I hear footsteps rushing towards me as I look at the damage that has been done.

"What happened?" Steven asks, looking at me worriedly.

"The brake and steering wheel failed me." I run my fingers through my hair in frustration. "This has never happened. Did the mechanic team even do their fucking job?"

"Relax, son." Steven attempts to calm me down. "I understand that you're angry, but─"

I cut him off with a cold chuckle. "Angry? I'm more than angry. This could've happened at the actual Grand Prix! We've already been humiliated when we lost on the last Grand Prix, now this?"

"Jungwon, calm down." I feel a firm hand on my shoulder. Jay. I didn't even realise that he was here. "It was an accident no one expected."

"Yeah, an accident that could happen the next time." I snarl at him, too enraged to care. "Get the mechanic team to do their fucking job or else find somebody else that is competent enough." I don't wait for any of their responses as I proceed to walk away. Every muscle on my body feels tense while my mind is going haywire.

This is the first time I ever blew up. Even Steven looked genuinely shocked by my outburst. But I take my job seriously, even if it's only a trial. There can never be errors.

My eyes accidentally meet Stella's briefly, and I catch a glimpse of concern in her eyes. I look away from her and decide to head further inside. I don't even have the guts to face her, as I feel embarrassed by the prior incident. I wonder what she thinks of me.

"Jungwon."

My ears must be deceiving me, because why am I hearing her voice?

"Jungwon, stop." Maybe my mind is not playing tricks on me after all. The moment her hand latches around my wrist, I turn around to face her with an eyebrow raised, but she appears to be looking down with a worried expression on her face.

"Your hand is bleeding." She mutters, and I look down to see blood dripping down from my fingers. I must've been too distracted to realise that the wound on my hand is from the prior incident.

Before I can say anything, Stella drags me with her while I am too stunned by the fact that she still cares. We end up in the medical bay, with me sitting quietly on a bench while Stella asks for some aid.

"Give me your hand." Stella orders as she sits next to me. I place my hand on her palm and watch as she wraps the wound on my hand with a white bandage.

"Don't be mistaken." She murmurs, not meeting my eyes after she's done. "This is me taking care of you because you're one of my responsibilities in my line of work."

"You can't fool me, Stel." I hold her hand just before she can rise from her seat. She has no choice but to look me in the eyes. "I saw the way you looked worried for me."

Conflict resides in her gaze. "Jungwon─"

"Don't be mean to me again." I say softly, bringing her hand closer to my face before placing her palm on my cheek. With my hand on top of hers, I lean into her palm, which feels cold against my cheek. I flutter my eyes close, relishing the familiarity of her touch. "Don't push me away again."

"But I must, Jungwon." I can discern how weak she sounds. "You're better off without me."

"Do you really believe that?" I flutter my eyelids open and meet her wavering gaze. I lean my body closer to her with her hand still on my cheek. "I'm miserable without you, but for you, I'm willing to wait."

"Jungwon." Stella appears defeated. I take her by surprise by placing a soft, lingering kiss on her palm before holding her hand tenderly.

"Give me a chance, Stella." I say. "Give me a chance to prove that I'm worthy of your love."

She doesn't say anything, but pain reflects in her beautiful eyes as I place one last kiss on her palm. 

Hwang Stella is not my ex-girlfriend. She's right. We weren't anything beyond friends. But she is definitely an ex-something. We even kissed and got intimate at one point, and I recall that I've grown addicted to her.

In the beginning, I was only close to her in order to fulfil my duty. I had no idea that I would end up regretting it. I guess I can say for the rest of my best friends that there is no one more regrettable than me. Sure, I did grow fond of Stella and even grew to like her more than a friend, but love? I don't even know if my feelings for her can be called love. Or maybe I'll just have to find out if I really do love her.

With my eyes lingering on her face, a frown tugs at my lips as I notice how lethargy she looks. Words have been going around that the managers are working twice as hard as usual, and that includes Stella. I feel hesitant to approach her and start a conversation, and I'm only a few feet away from where she is.

I grip the bottle in my grasp, which I have just bought from the vending machine. My heart aches at the noticeable weariness written on her delicate features. You know what? Who cares if she might hate me more? I can't stand to see her get overworked.

Mustering the courage, I approach her with a face devoid of emotion. She pauses from scribbling on her paperwork before slowly raising her head to meet my eyes. Her eyes widen in surprise for a fleeting moment.

"Is there anything you need?" She asks, displaying her professionalism.

Instead of responding to her query, I place the mineral bottle in front of her before sliding my hands into my pockets. "Here. It's for you." I try my best to remain as nonchalant as I can, despite how my heart is pounding hard against my chest. "You've been working too hard lately. I didn't even see you taking a break."

Stella raises her eyebrow at me. "So you've been watching me all day?"

"No." I answer quickly. "It's just that you obviously look exhausted. You know it's fine to take a little breather. Your work can wait."

Stella deflates, and the coldness she emits dissipates. Her lips press together thinly. "Why are you doing this, Sunoo?"

"It's simple, really." I shrug my shoulders. "Because I care about you."

"Well, you shouldn't." Stella says bitterly. "I don't even care about you, at least not anymore."

I ignore the stinging pain in my chest, but I manage a small smile while my gaze softens. "It's fine that you no longer care about me, darling. I love you enough to still care about you, and that is more than enough for me."

The 'L' word itself just came out of me without a second thought. I see the way her eyes widen once more. I clear my throat in an awkward manner as I rub my nape sheepishly. "Don't forget to eat your meals and have at least a rest. I don't want you to fall sick."

"Sunoo─"

But I don't listen to her words any longer as I make my way back to the garage. All the while, my cheeks feel warm from my affirmation that I do, in fact, love her.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

I know for a fact that I can never compete against my best friends. Even if Stella were to choose any of us, she certainly wouldn't choose me. So it is pointless for me to try to win her heart when she would never spare a glance in my way.

My grip on the steering wheel tightens as I pour my pent-up emotions into finishing the last few laps before I call it a night. The rest of the drivers are nowhere to be found, including my team. I choose to practice a little longer, but eventually the skies are painted in the dark.

I pull up in the garage before switching off the ignition. As I step out of the vehicle, I remove my helmet and ruffle my dishevelled locks. I guess I've pushed myself too hard to the point where all my muscles are aching tremendously.

I drape the small towel over my shoulder after wiping off my sweat. I proceed to make my way back to my locker, but halt my steps when Stella is in my line of sight, just a few feet away.

I raise my eyebrow at her. "You haven't gone home."

"I was working overtime." She tells me curtly, but her eyes seem to be examining me before they soften. "Practices were long since over, and yet you're still here."

A smirk touches my lips. "I was practicing overtime." I drawl. "But you, on the other hand...." I take steps forward, though cautious enough not to alarm her.

She frowns. "Me?"

"Yes, you." I stop directly in front of her, our eye contact unwavering. "I told you not to overwork yourself, did I not?"

Defiance glimmers in her eye. "I don't take orders from you."

"Still stubborn as ever." I tut, deciding to be bold when I grip her chin gently. "What should I do with you, darling?"

"You can start by not touching me." Sarcasm drips into her tone. "And you're as demanding as ever."

I release her chin, though I'm tempted to hold her for a little longer. "Nothing's changed, then."

"No. Something's changed, and that is whatever we had before." Stella says firmly, but a glimpse of pain flickers in her eyes. "We're no longer friends, Sunoo."

"Then tell me this. Did I mean something to you?" Desperation is discernible, and I no longer give a damn. "We even kissed and got intimate before. Friends don't do that."

"But we were nothing." Stella counters, almost deflating. "I was not even your girlfriend. Sure, we did things that friends don't do, but that's just it." Her breath hitches in her throat. "Besides, you weren't even sincere in the beginning."

"I admit that I was in the wrong." I don't hesitate to raise my hand and cradle her face tenderly. "But along the way, you managed to weasel your way into my heart. I did genuinely care for you, Stella." I can see tears glistening in her eyes. "Call it what you want, but we were definitely an ex-something."

"I hated you when I found out about your ulterior motive towards me." Her voice cracks, displaying her vulnerability to me. "I was hurt, because I thought I meant something to you after the moments we've spent and your witty yet sweet words to me."

"Then allow me to give you the long-awaited apology." I say softly while I gently brush away the fallen teardrop on her cheek. "I'm so, so sorry. I shouldn't have agreed to take part in my parents' schemes."

"You bad guy." Her lips quiver in sadness while she attempts to throw weak punches at my chest. "I even trusted you."

"I know, darling. For that, I'm terribly sorry as well." The space between us is almost nonexistent. I don't hold myself back from placing a tender kiss on her forehead with my hand cradling the side of her face.

"You were one of the people I held dearly in my heart." Stella tells me in between soft sobs while I still hold her close.

"Then tell me, how do I make it up to you?" I ask gently as I cup her cheeks, prompting her to look at me in the eyes. "How do I earn a spot back in your heart?"

"You can't." Stella says weakly. "I can't allow any of you to get closer to me again."

"Why not?"

"Because," She pauses, hesitation resides in her gaze before the pain returns. "Because no matter how deep the betrayal was, I still care and love you enough to put you out of danger's way." It feels as though her confession stole my breath away.

"What do you mean, Stella?" I ask after I recovered. My eyes are firm. "Danger? I don't understand."

Stella shakes her head. "Please, Sunoo. Don't make this harder for me."

My jaw clenches. "You don't seem to understand that I don't have any intention of letting you go."

"You must." Tears fall from her eyes once more. "It's the only way."

"No. There is a way." I murmur, my face leaning close to her, until my lips stop just an inch from hers. But I don't kiss her, no matter how tempting it is. "You're hiding something, darling." I whisper, and the way she visibly flinches is enough for me to confirm my suspicion. "But I don't want to force you to answer. So I'll wait until you're ready."

Reluctantly, I release and turn my back on her, forcing myself to walk away from her despite how my heart is aching and yearning to return to her.

It has been exactly a week since the confrontation at the communal party happened, a week since I declared that I hated her. I didn't even mean to tell her that, but I was too blinded by the betrayal, sadness, and resentment of her disappearance. So to see her again after four long years, especially in NYC out of all the places, hit me like a whiplash.

I recall when I first saw her that night, and I was relieved to see her looking healthy. She hasn't changed a bit, with the exception of her new, stark raven hair. She still looks beautiful, but there is a certain ambience exuding from her. It was almost as if she had been through so much here.

Now that my mind is set straight, I can't help but resent myself for telling her that I hated her. I admit that I hated when she left without a goodbye or closure, but my feelings for her have always remained the same.

I rub my face as I groan. I can't believe what an idiotic fool I was that night. I need to apologise to her and explain to her that I didn't mean it. But how do I even approach her without making things awkward?

"Alright, let's wrap it up!" Our team's principal concludes the meeting, prompting me to rise from my seat and make my way out of the meeting room. Sunghoon follows suit as well.

Three years ago, my parents and his parents joined forces in regards to business matters. They were required to travel abroad to London, and they decided to bring Sunghoon and me along, which meant that we would have to not only leave our best friends behind but our racing ventures as well.

A month after settling in London, Sunghoon and I discovered a recruitment opening by the Red Bull. As we've always been fans of Formula One racing, we decided to sign up. Surprisingly, our parents were supportive and allowed us to do whatever we wanted.

I know for a fact that my parents felt guilty after what happened and that they witnessed my worst when Stella disappeared. They even apologised for not being the parents I needed. Though the improvement in our relationship is minuscule, I no longer resent them as much as I used to.

"Jay just texted me. He asked if we could accompany him somewhere." Sunghoon informs me without tearing his gaze off his phone as we await the elevator to open. "Do you want to follow?"

"You guys go ahead." I say as we finally enter the elevator. "I intend to head back and resume my sleep."

Sunghoon simply shakes his head at me before he bids me goodbye as he steps out of the elevator. My hand automatically touches my pocket, but as soon as I feel it empty, my eyes widen. I cuss lowly as I recall that I left something of mine in the meeting room.

I press on the prior floor, but the elevator keeps on going until it reaches the first floor. I can only afford to wait impatiently with a scowl on my face. I lean my back against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest while the elevator chimes.

As it opens, my heart almost stops beating when her eyes meet mine. I manage to get a good look at her face before she immediately steps inside. Her face looks paler than usual, and her lips are slightly chapped. Though she is trying to maintain her composure, I can see how her body appears to be trembling while she hunches over once in a while. My ears perk up at the sound of her audible yet soft whimper.

"Stella." I slowly approach her from behind while she visibly flinches.

"Riki." She greets me curtly, and just the sound of her voice is enough to let me know that she is obviously unwell.

"Are you okay?" I ask, standing next to her with my eyes fixated on her side profile.

Her lips quiver as she releases shaky breaths, still refusing to look at me. "I'm fine."

"No, you're obviously not." I retort firmly. "Why did you even come to work when you're sick? You should've stayed at home instead."

"What's it to you, even?" She asks tersely. "You said so yourself that you hated me, yet why are you reprimanding me for coming to work?"

I curl my hand into a first. "Because I've never stopped caring─"

Stella's whimper cuts me off, and the next thing I know, she loses her balance as she stumbles forward when she hunches, but I am swift enough to catch her on time, holding her against me. Her body trembles beneath my touch.

"What's wrong?" I ask, and panic expands in my chest as I look down at her pale face. She is breaking into cold sweats while her pants leave her lips as she leans dependently on me. 

"It hurts." She seems to be holding her abdomen, and she whimpers once more. "I can't take it."

"That's it. I'm sending you back to your place." Effortlessly, I carry her in a bridal style and press on the first-level button.

"But I have work." She weakly protests as she leans her head on my shoulder. She whimpers and moans in pain, her body shifting in an uncomfortable manner. I now realise that there is a reason why she has been holding her abdomen and squirming occasionally.

"Your health is more important." I tell her sternly, leaving no room for argument before we finally step out of the elevator. She doesn't say anything and allows herself to fall utterly weak in my arms.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Stella is already settled in, with her body now curling on the couch and a white duvet covering her trembling form. Earlier, I had carried her all the way until we reached her apartment. She even insisted that she could walk, but I didn't listen because it was obvious that her cramps were unbearable.

As I carefully sit next to her, my gaze never leaves her pale face. "Here." I give her the heating pad I found in her kitchen. She mutters a feeble thanks as she grabs it before placing it on her abdomen.

I sigh. "Were your cramps always this bad?"

"Yeah." She answers weakly, flickering her eyes at me. "I appreciate your help. You can leave now."

"No." I frown. "I'm not about to leave your side, especially when you're this weak."

She heaves a sigh before carefully sitting up. "I want to lie on my bed." She tells me curtly as she stands, but she goes wobbly once more.

Without a word, I automatically carry her once more and make my way to her room. Pushing the door with my back, I enter her room and head for the bed before carefully settling her down.

"You didn't have to." Her cheeks turn rosier while she looks away from me. "Why are you doing this, Riki? I thought you─" She wavers, her eyes glossy. "I thought you hated me."

I clench my jaw, recalling the other night. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

"Don't apologise. I don't blame you for hating me." The way she looks at me breaks my heart. "You have every right to feel that way."

"I love you, you know?" I murmur, brushing her hair behind her ear. "I still do. I've always loved you."

"Don't." She shakes her head, but before she can back away, I cup her cheek. She looks at me pleadingly. "You're supposed to hate me. You're supposed to get mad at me and ignore me, let me be and leave me to writhe in agony."

"Well, love prevails over hate." I unfurl a soft smile. "Yes, I was mad at you for leaving me, but I know you. You wouldn't leave without a reason."

Her lips quiver. "I can't tell you."

"Then don't." I cradle her face, which seems so small, in between my palms. "But allow me to give you the proper apology you deserved to hear four years ago." I lean my face closer to her, the tips of our noses touch. "I'm so, so sorry for hurting you. I regret choosing racing over you."

A fallen tear cascades down her cheek. "Riki." My name sounds heavenly from her lips.

I flutter my eyes closed as I lean my forehead against hers. "You were everything to me, Stel. Even after being apart for years, my heart refuses to let you go." As I open my eyes, my heart aches at the pained look in her eyes, with tears streaming down relentlessly.

Without thinking, I lean in to place a tender kiss on the corner of her lips and allow my lips to linger on hers. "I don't see myself with anyone else except you. You're the only woman I want to be with for a lifetime."

Stella breaks into waterworks, and I can see how overwhelmed she is, especially when she is on her first day of period. I don't hesitate to pull her into my embrace, holding her close with my arm around her body while the other cupping the back of her head as she rests her head against my chest.

"I love you, Stella." I speak softly beside her ear, and I feel her clinging to my shirt tightly in response, as if she's reciprocating my love.

NI-KI: Thanks again. I'm sorry for the impromptu plan. I'll make it up to you.

JAY: Don't worry about it. It's Stella. You know that when it comes to her, I'd drop everything.

I keep my phone inside my pocket and lift my head up, now standing outside of her apartment. One of my hands is occupied with a brown paper bag containing food and some essentials.

Just this morning, Ni-Ki called me and asked me if I could oversee Stella, as she had been under the weather since yesterday due to her menstrual cramps. He included in the details that she almost fainted when they were in the elevator together yesterday.

Initially, I had plans with the rest of my team members to hang out at one of the finest bars here, but upon being alerted by Ni-Ki about Stella ailing, I decided to cancel my plans and wasted no time heading to the nearest pharmacy and buying some food that would be good for her body.

I press on the doorbell for the second time and wait patiently for her to open. Minutes have passed, bringing a frown to my face. I don't know why, but my hand finds its way to the door handle and pushes it down. Perturbation churns in my tummy as I push open the door.

"Stella?" I call for her, my voice reverberates throughout her apartment. I receive no reply, resulting in the uneasiness within me being tenfold. "Stella?" I enter further into her apartment, briefly examining the exterior and noticing how extensive yet massive the windows in her living room are. Since her apartment is located at the highest level of the building, I can see the skyline of NYC.

I look away from the view and place the paper bag on the dining table. "Stella─"

A faint thud draws my attention, eliciting my eyebrows to pull together while my heart is beating at an uneven pace. I don't waste time and hasten to the source of the sound, which leads me to her room. The moment my eyes land on her figure, mortification hits me with a jarring sensation.

"Stella!" I run towards her unmoving figure, lying on the floor. My hands are on her shoulders, and I bring her upper body to rest on mine. Her hair is slightly damp, denoting that she must've finished showering not too long ago.

"Baby." The endearment I used to call her slips past my lips as I look down at her face. I frantically brush strands of her locks from sticking to her face as perspiration sheens on her skin. Her eyes remain closed while her lips look chapped and pale, but as soon as a whimper elicits from the back of her throat, I feel relieved for a brief moment. "Stella, can you hear me?" I ask worriedly.

"Jay?" Her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah, it's me." I whisper, brushing her hair away from her face frame while she slowly flutters her eyes open, and from the way I see it, even opening her eyes seems to be toilsome on her.

Stella's chest heaves up and down slowly, as if she's having difficulty breathing. Her head lolls to the side, with her forehead hitting my chest. "Jay, it hurts so bad." She utters weakly.

"I know, baby." I place a chaste kiss on her crown before moving my hand underneath her knees while the other secures her back. With ease, I carefully carry her in a bridal style and walk towards her bed.

"Why are you here?" She asks languidly as soon as I settle her down. She hunches over to the side, holding her abdomen. "How did you know?"

"Ni-Ki." It appears that his name is sufficient for her question. "I'll be right back."

"Wait." She takes me by surprise when her hand shoots out to grip my wrist. "Don't leave me."

My heart melts at her plea. "I'm not going to leave you. I'm just going to get some essentials for you, okay?"

Stella looks away from my gaze and nods her head sullenly. I'm glad that Ni-Ki requested my help, because right now, Stella looks vulnerable and there is not any ounce of hostility in her eyes, unlike the other night at the communal party.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Stella is compliant throughout the whole time I tend to her. Since she lacks energy, I offer to feed her, and she allows me, though she looks flustered. She occasionally lets out a painful moan and whimpers due to unpleasant cramps, making my heart ache at the sight of her in agony.

"Thank you." Stella says quietly as I remove my jacket and hang it over the rack. I turn my attention to her, noticing that she is avoiding my eye contact once more. "You must've had important things to do other than taking care of me." She murmurs, her hands fiddling with the duvet covering her legs.

I return to her bed and take a seat next to her. A soft smile unfurls on my lips as I tuck her hair behind her ear. "There is nothing more important to me than you." I grip her chin gently yet firmly when I tilt it so I can look at her face. Her crestfallen eyes meet mine. "For you, I'd drop everything."

"Just why?" Her lips quiver while tears glisten in her eyes. "Why don't you hate me after everything that happened? Why are you so─" Her breath hitches in her throat, and a tear has fallen from her eye. "Why are you so kind and gentle to me, still?"

I grab her hand and hold it tenderly. "Stella─"

She cuts me off, urgency and desperation lurk in her tone. "How am I supposed to hate you and push you away when you're being like this?" Never have I ever seen her so defeated. "What did I do to deserve such treatment from you after all I've done to try and make you hate me?"

"Baby." I sigh softly, cradling her face while she weeps rather adorably, which brings a smile to my face.

A sharp sob leaves her lips. "I don't deserve you. I don't deserve any of you."

"It's the opposite, actually." I chuckle lightly, bringing her face close to mine and planting a kiss on her forehead. "After what happened four years ago, I haven't given you a proper apology."

"I've forgiven all of you." She says through hiccups. Her glistening eyes meet mine while her hand places itself on top of mine. "You don't have to apologize. Yes, I felt betrayed, hurt, and furious, but at the end of the day, you were a victim as well."

I hesitate. "But that doesn't justify my actions."

"What matters is that I understood why you did it and why you agreed." She sniffles. "Racing was more important to you than me, a mere girl who was desperate for the scraps of your affections."

"One of the biggest mistakes I've made." I counter firmly. "I should've realised earlier that you're more important to me."

"Jay─"

"I mean it, Stella." My gaze flickers at her lips briefly before returning to gaze into her eyes deeply. "I won't make the same mistake again this time."

"I should be pushing you away right now." She confesses weakly. "I should be hating you, but the truth is, I'm tired. I never knew that trying to hate someone could be exhausting."

"Then don't try anymore." I bump my nose against hers and remain unmoving. "Love me back, Stella." There is a brief silence as I await her response with my heart beating fast.

"I do."

"You do?"

"I've always loved you, Jay." Stella breaks into the waterworks once more. Her hands reach out to cradle the cusps of my jaw. "My love for you has never changed."

With the proximity between our lips, I close the gap and kiss her tenderly. The back of my eyes burns with tears, while my chest blooms as she reciprocates the kiss. Four long years of waiting and yearning are worth it, as the woman of my dreams is finally here.

"I've missed you so much, baby." I rasp against her lips, pulling away from the kiss just slightly. "I'm never letting you go, ever."

"I'm scared, Jay." She says in a broken whisper. "I don't want to lose any of you."

"You won't. I promise." I affirm, my thumb caressing her cheek. "With us, you don't have to be afraid. We'll protect you."

A peculiar emotion flickers in her gaze. "But I want to protect all of you too. What if something happens again? What if─"

I silence her with my lips instead, smiling into the kiss as she gasps cutely. The kiss lasts longer, and this time, it's sweeter than the previous kiss. Eventually, she falls acutely on top of me without breaking the lip lock.

We detach from the kiss and gaze into each other's eyes once more. Her head is now resting on my arms while her hand is twiddling with my fingers on her chest. A soft smile dawns on my lips, relishing this tender moment.

"Does it hurt again?" I ask softly.

"A little bit." She answers, and she scoots further into my chest with her arm slithering its way around my torso. "When I'm close to you like this, the pain is bearable."

"Then be closer. Don't drift away again." I hug her with my hand, massaging the back of her head. I peck her crown before whispering to her affectionately. "I love you, baby."

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[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Master Public Speaking Anxiety & Communicate Like A Boss

Take It Slow: The key to seeming secure and displaying confidence when you speak is to slow down your speech. Anxiety makes your mind run a mile a minute and often translates into rushed, jumbled speech and an overall frazzled demeanor. Your mind and your speech often match up in terms of pace. So, when you’re making a conscious effort to stretch out your words and conversational cadence, you naturally have to slow down your thoughts and calm your mind, which helps you think more clearly and comes off as more engaging to your audience. You come off as more self-assured and, by taking your time, you’re subconsciously informing your audience that you're sharing something worthwhile. You know there’s no reason to rush when you have something valuable to say. 

Prepare Like You’re Writing An Essay: As someone who struggled with public speaking in my teens, I found that preparing my points like an essay outline was super helpful to organize my thoughts in a concise/logical way. In practice, the best way I’ve found to do this is to write my “thesis” or general argument/ takeaway down first and then create a list of all of the supporting details/facts/stories that I want to use to support this overarching point as they come to me. This is your “rough draft” for your speech. After, organize your points to create a logical flow that’s easy and engaging to follow. Study this before your public speaking arrangement – whether it’s a presentation for work/school or a speech at a conference or a dinner party. Knowing that you already know and have nearly everything you want to say outlined and prepared ahead of time allows the words to flow more easily if you get a bit nervous (don’t we all?). Combine it with the tip to take it slow, and watch your public speaking skills drastically improve. 

Create An Elevator Pitch: You can complete this exercise for professional, academic, or social purposes (e.g. a birthday, cocktail, or dinner party). Essentially, this practice is similar to the ‘essay’ format above, but in short form. Think of it as a mini "personal essay" if you will. While most of the components of this short monologue are highly versatile, how you craft your elevator pitch will depend on its use purpose. For every context, start with your name and share that you’re excited to be there. When it comes to professional settings, you can share your job title, industry, and why attending this event fits what excites you most about your job/career goals. You can use this same format for academic situations, just swap out the classes you’re taking/your major and how being in this room connects to your academic/career goals. In a social setting, share how you know the host (and sometimes others attending) and have a few “fun facts” about yourself ready to use depending on who you’re speaking to – they could be about what you do for work, your favorite hobbies/leisure activity, the last trip you took or book you read, or some knowledge about something related to the venue (the knowledge of a historic building if you’re attending a wedding or dinner party, for example). Being prepared is the easiest way to calm your mind, so you don’t have to worry about your words, and allows you to just worry about how you’re communicating what you’re trying to say. 

Demeanor Is Everything: At the end of the day, people care less about what you say and more about how you make them feel. So, remember to hold yourself in a confident, relaxed way - even if you’re worried about fumbling over your words at times or not always saying the perfect thing in a speech or as a response in a conversation (as long it’s appropriate, of course). Roll your shoulders back. Smile. Maintain good posture and eye contact. This physicality will make you subconsciously feel more confident, so your speech comes out more calmly and intelligently. 

When in doubt, smile and remember to take deep breaths. Everyone is thinking about how they’re presenting themselves, so just try your best to feel confident. This makes you appear more open and allows the other person (or people) to feel more comfortable.

If needed, here are some more tips on how to manage social anxiety, build self-esteem, and a playbook on how to always communicate with confident Femme Fatale energy.

You got this! x 

[openworldadventurer]

I'm really sorry if this is rude or something, it's really not intended to be, but do you have any proof of your work at Bethesda? I'm writing something for school about how casual a lot of the abuse/mismanagment in the games industry is and want to include some of the things you've talked about in the past, but I can't seem to find anything that actually validates your accounts. Even just an article from a credible source in which your mentioned or smth would be fine, genuinely.

Sorry again if this rude, thank you in advance if you decide to respons!

That's a perfectly reasonable thing to ask, so no offense taken.

But first things first: there are larger and more egregious abuses out there with much more proof than some tales from the trenches on Tumblr. I recommend Jason Schreier's Press Reset (not just because I was interviewed for it about two separate studio closures, Big Huge Games and 2K Marin), but there's no shortage of good reporting on a variety of abuses. (And as for "mismanagement", I wouldn't call any of the cut stuff from Skyrim a sign of mismanagement at all -- that's just what happens in any big open-world game. Every developer plans about twice as much stuff for a game as actually sees the final version -- there are always cuts when we see what we'll have the time and devpower to achieve.)

So please, don't quote "some guy on Tumblr said his name was struck from the game" for your school article -- it'll look like gossip reporting, and it won't even be very exciting. There's real horrors out there with solid sourcing that you can draw from, instead. As for my own credentials: I'm listed in the credits for Fallout 3 as "Fred Zeleny" (you can see me listed in this video of the credits at 2:51), and the various Fallout fan wikis have archives of my "Inside the Vault" internal blog interview I did while working on it.

As I've said elsewhere, I'm not listed in the credits for Skyrim, because they stripped my name along with a few other developers for going to work at different game studios before the project was done. I'm not sure what I can do to offer proof that I was there for that time period, short of sharing my design notebooks or pictures from the company parties, all of which might well be legally-actionable breaches of my NDA. I suppose I could point out which characters are named after friends of mine, but that wouldn't prove much if you don't know them. (Although it's a sweet story: they had just married at the time, and I added them as a little surprise wedding gift. Now their two kids play Skyrim on the Switch and are delighted to see their parents immortalized in Darkwater Crossing.) Now, that sort of professional erasure might not fly nowadays (particularly with a union there!), but that was 15 years ago. And sure, that was frustrating back when I was a young dev. But in the decade and a half since, it's never been a professional impediment, because everyone else in the industry knows that sort of pettiness was/is done all the time. And it doesn't hold a candle to some of the real abuses and horrors I've seen in the industry since leaving Bethesda.

So... yeah. I am who I say I am, but I really hope I haven't given the impression that Bethesda is a uniquely bad place in the game industry. If anything, it was fine in hindsight, albeit a little frustrating how things ended. But I tell tales of what almost happened in those games because those are the games people are familiar with, and because those tales are amusing rather than just horrifying.

Trust me, "here's a funny thing I almost did with Sheogorath!" or "the Bard's College quest was almost way more complex!" are much more enjoyable stories from game development than the real horrors I've seen. You probably wouldn't enjoy reading "that season I slept in the office multiple nights a week to meet deadlines and then the parent company failed to make payroll and laid us all off with no severance and we all cried and my coworker wrote a sad note to the movers who came to take everything away", or "the guy who made us completely retool our game to be more mainstream just stepped down after being arrested for a longstanding pattern of sexual harassment and abuse of employees." Trust me, those are real bummers. So it'd probably be better for your article if you focus on the sort of actual abuse and mismanagement I've shared links for here, rather than the minor stuff from my posts.

Gotta keep a proper perspective, y'know?