#We've been working so hard on putting this together these last couple months

[kell-be-belle]

My girlfriend and I are opening our own business this weekend, and I'm having so many feelings about it

[spencerreidenjoyer]

we've already done it in my head | spencer reid x reader

You have fantasies about Spencer, and you feel bad about it when you have to see him at work. Thing is, he has fantasies about you too.

wc: 4.8k, rating: explicit

tags/warnings: professor!spencer, post prison!spencer, bau!reader, fem!reader, sexual fantasies, masturbation, daddy kink, getting together, hookups, friends with benefits (?), mentions of public sex/exhibitionism (they don't actually do it), fucking with feelings but neither of them really realise it yet lol...

a/n: i am insane and that's all i'll say about this fic. jk i started this at the top of the month and i'm glad i've finally finished it. this was such a crazy one to work on, aside from being swamped with school work. thank you to my lovely friend from twitter vic who kept encouraging me to work on this hehe. inspired heavily by taylor swift's guilty as sin? (obviously) and chappell roan's picture you just for those horny yearning vibes yknow? please enjoy this insanity!!! (crossposted to ao3)

Spencer rushes in from the university when Emily calls. It’s a serious case, one that Emily decides Spencer needs to be pulled away from his teaching for. She doesn’t feel good doing it – the whole team knows how important teaching is to Spencer, but he understands all the same when he comes into the round table room. Spencer sits down at the last empty seat next to you, his hair a mess as he sets down his things and flips open the case file. He turns to smile at you, before Penelope starts the case brief.

It’s a long, tiring day of work after landing in California, the BAU having been called in to investigate the murders of young moms in the area, and you need a glass of wine and a nice hot bath to even fathom everything you’ve seen today.

You should just turn in for the night, the Bureau being particularly kind with their budget as you all get individual rooms. Your drowsiness should put you fast to sleep, but your mind is racing with thoughts of Spencer.

Spencer’s been in his nice suit all day, filling out his shirt nicely. You’ve noticed his stubble growing in, and his hair is messy and gorgeous. You can’t help yourself for feeling this way, as guilty as you feel about it. You’ve been harbouring your crush on Spencer for way too long, in the couple of years since you joined the BAU. Spencer is a sight for sore eyes for sure, but his kind gentleness despite the horrors of what you all do for work is a welcome reprieve. 

While his sweet nature was what had you falling for him in the first place, Spencer could be extremely sexy, even if he didn’t know it. 

Today was especially tough for you. You and Spencer were sent in to interrogate a particularly uncooperative suspect, playing into the good cop-bad cop dynamic. Your coaxing wasn’t doing anything, and Spencer had ended up raising his voice in an attempt to intimidate them. He’d slammed his hand on the table, a loud clang against the metal, and his large figure only served to crowd the suspect in to scare them further.

You only got to know Spencer after the mess that was him getting wrongly sent to prison, but Spencer supposedly wasn’t like this before prison. Still, you found Spencer’s quiet intimidation incredibly attractive, and you had to keep your composure in the interrogation room earlier.

And your mind drifts to Spencer from earlier, his rough callousness with the suspect, his glare wild and intimidatingly sexy, you end up thinking about him.

About Spencer, who is so kind and sweet with you and the rest of the team, seeming like he couldn’t hurt a fly. 

About Spencer who could also be domineering and intimidating. He seems like he’d only pull it out if you asked, but the duality has you hot under the collar. 

Your eyes slip shut, mind swirling with thoughts of Spencer, about having him all to yourself, about him wanting you. 

About his large hands on you, making you feel so small under his firm grasp. 

About him pinning you down on the hard, cool metal of the table in the interrogation room. 

About him caging you in with his arms, the look in his eyes almost crazed and full of lust for you. 

“Spencer,” you gasp, before Spencer kisses you fervently. His stubble is rough against your skin, but you don’t care. Spencer kisses you like he’s a starved man and you’re his next meal, with such desperation that you feel weak in the knees.

“You’re gorgeous,” Spencer says. He kisses your jaw, down your neck, and his large hands are all over your body. You feel so secure in his grasp, he feels you up and drinks his fill of you. He gropes your tits, your thighs, your ass, manhandling you into spreading your legs, so he can press the hardness of his cock to your cunt. “Look what you do to me.”

You whimper, fully indulging in this wet dream as you slide a hand into your underwear. “Spencer,” you gasp.

“You’re so hot, you make me feel crazy,” Spencer hums, rolling his hips against you. You’re separated between layers of fabric, but Spencer humping you like this turns you on to no end. 

You rub at your clit in tight little circles, your wetness aiding the slide as you get yourself off to the thought of Spencer.

“Spence,” you moan, frustrated. While Spencer’s hardness grinding against you is literally a dream, you want to imagine his cock buried inside of you. You’re perfectly capable of moving this along, so you do. 

Magically, Spencer’s clothes are off and so are yours, the perks of a fantasy being that you don’t have to awkwardly stumble through taking your clothes off. You have a hazy picture of what he’d look like naked in front of you. You imagine toned muscle, a slight pudge to his tummy from his time in prison, his pecs filled out nicely. You imagine his cock would be pretty, as pretty as he is, veiny and thick and all sorts of perfect. 

“You’re too fucking good to me, baby,” Spencer groans, the blunt head of his cock pressed up against you now. He rubs off against you, sliding over your clit, your folds, over the wetness leaking from your whole. “Gonna fuck you so good, just like you deserve.”

Without hesitation, Spencer’s cock slips into you, the perfect thickness to make you feel full as he slides in inch by inch. 

You slip your fingers into yourself, aided by how impossibly wet you are just at the thought of Spencer, and your groan weakly. Two fingers aren’t enough, not when you bet Spencer could fill you up, like he’d split you in half on his cock. 

He pushes into you until he’s pressed flush against you, buried inside of you to the hilt. He starts to pound into you, like he’s uncaring of what you need, but the way he treats you turns you on impossibly.

Your fingers aren’t enough to satiate you, but you thrust them in and out of you in an effort to mimic how Spencer fucking you might feel. You moan, a little louder than you’d like.

“Spence–” you gasp, in your fantasy. It should be scandalous, Spencer taking you over the table in the interrogation room. You don’t know if the thought of people being behind the one-way mirror turns you on or not – being watched, letting Spencer take you in front of everybody. You like the thought of Spencer being so obsessed with you, so desperate, needing to fuck you right where you work.

The metal table is cool and harsh against your hips, but you don’t care if it hurts as Spencer fucks you relentlessly, quickly taking on a brutal pace. It’s exactly what you need, what you want Spencer to do with you, being rough and frantic enough to make you scream his name.

You whimper his name under your breath, bashful even while in your fantasy. 

Spencer has you pinned down, but it’s not like you intend to get away. You want to savour this even if it’s only in your mind, shameful as you’re getting off to the thought of your coworker. You just need this out of your system, need Spencer out of your system, and then tomorrow you can face him like a normal, well-adjusted person. 

“Fuck,” you gasp, palm grinding against your clit, fingers pressed inside of yourself. You’re shaking, with the thought of Spencer fucking you until you can’t take it anymore, the ideal of him in your mind too perfect, until you’re moaning into your hand as you orgasm. You sob, clenching tight around your fingers, feeling your slick gush out as you ride your high.

You don’t mean to fall asleep, but after both a long day and a crazy good orgasm, you end up passing out with a tissue clenched in your hand, with your panties and sleep shorts kicked off to the foot of the bed.

---

Spencer can’t stop thinking about you.

He shouldn’t, not when you’re his coworker and also one of the people he’s friendliest with in the unit. 

Spencer would say he couldn’t bring himself to trust many, especially after coming out of prison, but you were the one he warmed up to the easiest. A new face in the BAU wasn’t uncommon, but Spencer had found himself drawn to you. You were kind and warm to him fresh out of prison, your tenderness a welcome reprieve as he’d gotten accustomed to being back at the BAU. With your intellect and quick wit, matched with your beauty, Spencer could not help but be attracted to you – but that’s besides the point. 

Spencer knows how much your friendship with him means to you, and he’s certain that that’s all you see him as: a friend. 

Yet, he can’t stop himself from thinking about you in those pants. Those pants that hug your curves just right. Those pants that make your ass look great – not that he was looking – especially when you’re leaning over an interrogation table, trying to play the good cop with the suspect from earlier.

Spencer had hung back, trying to get a read on the suspect while you spoke to him. Him getting to ogle your figure and stare at how good you looked in those pants was unintentional, but he definitely wasn’t complaining. 

Spencer only felt a bit bad wrapping his hand around himself in the shower, mind flooded with thoughts of you. Water, almost scorching, running down his body, his hand moves fast and reckless, exhaling harshly as he gets himself off. 

He can’t get you out of his mind, your gorgeous figure, your pretty face, your wide eyes and thick thighs and soft lips – he shouldn’t be thinking of you like this. You were a coworker, a friend, for God’s sake, and yet he can’t stop imagining you under him. 

He can’t stop imagining pressing you against the table in the interrogation room – your lithe frame underneath him, making you look so small, making him feel so big. 

He presses his growing problem to your perfect ass, watching you writhe underneath him. You keep looking back up at him, with your wide, wet eyes and your flushed cheeks, looking like you need him to give you exactly what you need.

“Please, daddy,” you whine, and Spencer is groaning and undoing his belt before your pants get pushed down too. Stroking his cock quickly, Spencer easily finds his way to your entrance, wet and dripping with your slick. He pushes into you, pressing kisses to your neck as you groan with the intrusion. 

“Daddy,” you whimper, “Feels so good.”

“Yeah?” Spencer coos at you. Spencer feels you press yourself back up against him, pushing his cock deeper, and he loses all sense of control as he starts to fuck you hard. He feels like a madman, unable to hold himself back as he takes and takes and takes, fucking into your tight wetness, his head spinning with how good you feel around him. 

You’re whining and moaning under him, your noises music to Spencer’s ears as they echo off the walls. Your cunt is wet and sloppy as Spencer fucks you, wanting to give you everything you need and more.

“Fuck, baby,” Spencer groans, his hand tightly fisted around his cock. The way the tip of his cock leaks is easing the slide, as he pictures in crystal-clear detail how your cunt would draw him in, slick and messy be fucks into your perfect, tight cunt. “You’re too good to me.”

“Daddy,” you sob, your hands clawing down Spencer’s back. Spencer gropes you greedily through your clothes, grabs your tits and feels his fill of your waist, your perfect ass, your thighs as he rocks himself back and forth between them. 

“Gonna cum inside of you, love,” Spencer grunts, his pace unrelenting. His hands are on your thighs, gripping you tight, both fucking into you and dragging you onto his cock over and over. “You’re gorgeous. Gonna make a mess of you.”

You’re whining underneath him, making him feel too good, as you clench around him tight and moan even louder. Spencer can’t help himself, thrusting into you hard and fast and eager until he’s cumming.

He spills into his hand, the thick white ropes of his cum washed down the drain with the spray of the shower from above him. Visions of you flash through his mind, your gorgeous frame, your pretty face, your mouth on his. 

He’s barely towelled off before he’s knocked out in his bed, too tired to even process feeling guilty about jerking off to you. 

---

Sure, perhaps it’s childish to try and avoid Spencer all day, especially when you have an active case all of you need to be working on. You must be a fool to think that getting yourself off to Spencer would help, because all you can think about is your fantasies of him last night, how you imagined him bending you over and taking you– Not helping, you remind yourself.

Emily must secretly be on your side or be able to read your mind or something, because Spencer is relegated to work on geographic profiles and speed-read through case files back at the police precinct, while you get sent out onto the field to chase down your killer. 

But you can’t avoid Spencer forever, and you aren’t any good at it either. You feel like Spencer’s eyes are on you the whole day when you and him are in the same room, but you never look up at him to find out. While you could chalk up your nerves to a serial killer still being out on the streets, you don’t have any more excuses at the end of the day when you’ve finally caught him, and the team decides to get dinner to celebrate.

You purposely wedge yourself between JJ and Emily when you sit down at the table, trying to avoid Spencer, and you think you’re successful with getting away with seeming a little out-of-it when you end up slipping away early, claiming you had a rough sleep last night.

You’ve barely settled down in your hotel room for the night, finally feeling like you can relax, when there’s a knock at your door. You have no clue who it could be, but you open the door, and–

There Spencer is. 

“Hi,” you say curtly, feeling embarrassment wash over you all of a sudden, because all you can think about is getting off to the thought of him last night. You feel your cheeks warm, but you hope it’s not obvious that you’re blushing. Then, in an attempt to seem somewhat normal and well-adjusted, you add, “What’s up?”

“I should be asking you that,” Spencer says, his eyebrows furrowed slightly. “What’s up with you today?”

You press your lips together in a thin line before you say, “Nothing’s up. I’m fine.”

“Come on,” Spencer prods, his head cocking to the side as he deadpans. “You know I can read you like an open book. Something’s up.”

You frown, Spencer stoking the flames of brattiness in you. “Yeah? Tell me what’s the matter, if you can read me so well.”

Spencer’s eyes widen slightly. You watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows.

“I- I thought we said no inter-group profiling,” Spencer says, his voice a little weak, and for the first time, you see Spencer look a little helpless. It’s kind of hot. 

Do you make him… nervous?

“Yeah, but if you insist on thinking something’s up with me…” You shrug, smiling. Spencer just blinks at you.

No. You couldn’t possibly entertain the thought. 

Spencer clears his throat. You watch him fidget with his hands just slightly, before he puts them by his sides to seem confident. “Well, you’ve been avoiding me, on purpose or not – both attest to your desire to avoid me somewhat. You could barely look me in the eye all day, which means you might be embarrassed or guilty of something, likely having to do with me.” Spencer says, his voice even, but he isn’t looking at you. 

You raise your eyebrows. His explanation is both specific and vague, and you feel slightly called out and safe from his scrutiny at the same time. But, you can’t shake off the feeling that there’s something more to Spencer’s words, the way he’s looking at you like he hopes you can’t pick his brain apart. 

So, you turn it back onto him, “Then, what do you think is the problem? You aren’t looking at me either, and you were fidgeting with your hands. Is something up with you, then? It almost sounds like you’re projecting, Dr. Reid.”

Spencer freezes, like he’s a deer caught in headlights. You can practically see his brain running a mile a minute, overthinking every possible outcome, overly self-aware of himself, his actions, his thoughts.

You try to stop yourself from smiling, because Spencer is kind of cute like this. “You wanna tell me what it is then, Reid?” 

“When did this become about me?” Spencer squeaks, his usually cool facade quickly disappearing. There’s a look in Spencer’s eyes, as he nervously looks you up and down, and oh– “I just– Well, I– You–”

“I’m thinking we might be on the same page, here,” you say, smirking. “Wanna tell me what it is?”

Spencer furrows his brows, his mouth agape as he looks up at you, but you’re putting your hand on his chest and trailing it down slowly. “Oh–”

“Tell me, Dr. Reid,” you cock your head, eyeing him up and down lazily. When you look at Spencer’s face, he’s shocked, enamoured and turned-on all in one. 

“You’re… attracted to me,” Spencer says, somewhat uncertain. “The same way I’m attracted to you.”

“And what makes you say that?” You hum. 

“I thought I heard you last night. Through the walls,” He says timidly, nothing you’ve seen from him before. “Thought I should’ve gone over to help, but I realised you were, um– You were pleasuring yourself. To- To me.”

“The walls are thin, huh?” You laugh, a little sheepish, but you note how Spencer’s becoming shy at the thought. “Did you…?”

His eyes grow wide. “Did I do what?”

You smirk. “That tells me everything I need to know, Reid,” you say, laughing.

“Well, you shouldn’t presume–”

“Shut up and kiss me, Reid,” you huff. You pull Spencer closer to you by his tie and you press your lips to his. 

It’s too perfect, when Spencer’s mouth is finally on yours. His hands cupping your face, Spencer kisses you hard and eager, like he can’t believe that he finally gets to have you. He kisses you like he’s starving, desperate for you as his next meal. You moan as his hands reach for your hips, pulling you in closer to him, greedy as he feels you up.

“Did you fantasise about this too? About me, like this?”

“This is better than I could’ve ever imagined,” Spencer says breathily. “You… You’re so attractive.”

“Could say the same about you,” you laugh, reaching to unbutton his shirt. His tie is already loose, hanging around his neck, but you want to see more. You undo the top few buttons, revealing more of his chest. You trail your finger over the exposed skin, letting your nail graze it slightly. You hear Spencer inhale sharply, and grin to yourself, proud of the effect you have on him. “So, do you want to just stand around and talk, or do you want to fuck me?”

Spencer’s eyes widen, and you chuckle. As if he hadn’t expected this was how it was going to go. Spencer purses his lips. “I mean, absolutely. I want to fuck you. But, um– We should definitely talk about this though.”

“Later,” you say, waving him off, before you lean in to kiss him again. Spencer grabs your waist again, like he needs to have you close. He lifts you slightly, making you squeak, but the both of you stumble over to the bed, unable to keep your hands off of each other, unable to keep your mouths off each other. You sit down on the bed, Spencer crowding you in with one of his knees on the mattress.

You loosen his tie and take it off, while Spencer moves to unbutton your shirt. HIs hands move deftly, eager to undress you, and he pulls away to marvel at the curve of your breasts in your bra when he pushes the satin shirt off of you. “Wow.”

“Wow yourself,” you say. You appreciate the view: a dishevelled, eager Spencer Reid in your bed, his hands all over you, his shirt half-undone, revealing tanned skin and a gorgeous body. “Need you to fuck me right now.”

Spencer laughs, perhaps a little incredulously, and he instead moves to take his shirt off instead. “I’ll- I’ll do that.”

“Good,” you say, distracted as you admire Spencer’s frame, the lines of his body, the softness of his stomach. He’s so hot you might die. “Very good.”

“I’m glad you like the view,” Spencer says, a little timid, like he’s shy to show off in front of you. He meets your gaze when you look up at him, caught in the middle of ogling him with no shame. 

You smile up at him sheepishly. “Please fuck me, Spencer.”

“Okay,” Spencer smiles, warm and gentle. He helps you slide your pants and underwear off your legs before you spread them. Spencer’s jaw drops, his eyes focused on the slick mess of your cunt. “Oh, my God.”

“Yeah?” you laugh, thoroughly amused with his reaction. “Show me how much you want me, too.”

Spencer’s hands are quick to push down his bottoms, dress slacks and boxer-briefs on your floor in an instant, wrapping a fist around himself as he works himself up for you. You can’t tear your eyes off of him – “Spencer, you’re… big.”

“Am I?” Spencer asks, and you’d lose your mind if you weren’t expecting Spencer to fuck your brains out. 

“You are,” you say calmly, because if you let yourself sound any more excited he might think you were insane. “But I can take you.”

Spencer grins. “Good.”

His fingers press against your cunt after you tell him to do so. His slender digits pick up all the slick that’s leaking from your hole, spreading it around messily as he toys with your clit. You shudder with the sensation, throwing your head back against the pillows. Then, one of his fingers slips into you, and he coaxes you open with a care you haven’t felt from most partners before. “How’s that?”

“So nice,” you groan, getting used to the feeling. He fucks you on his fingers, slow and careful, intent on stretching you out until you’re comfortable. You whimper and whine, feeling embarrassed at how vocal you’re being, but Spencer is kissing your breasts without a care in the world, and then you’re thinking about letting him know that you do feel good. Your next gasp is less ashamed, as Spencer coaxes a second finger in.

You’re panting as Spencer fucks you on his fingers, the repeated motion only working you up even more. The squelch from his fingers fucking you is obscene, and his eyes are wide as he looks at you. “You’re perfect,” he whispers. 

“Fuck me, Spence,” you say. 

Spencer bites his lip as he sits up and settles between your legs. He’s tugging at his cock as he lines himself up with your entrance. He slides his length along your folds, wet with your slick, and you groan at the friction. You grunt, wanting more, “Come on, Spence.” 

His hand on your leg, Spencer leans forward so he can press into you, and Spencer is practically folding you in half so he can fuck you. You moan at his thickness deep inside of you, filling you up, and the stretch is so undeniably amazing. Spencer’s length drags against your walls, such a delicious sensation deep in your bones, and you sob a little.

“Does that feel good?” Spencer asks softly, his voice tender. 

“So good, Spence,” you gasp. Spencer kisses your cheek, down your neck, and waits patiently for you to give him the go-ahead.

You feel his cock twitching inside of your heat, both your fantasies unable to live up to the real thing. Confident, cocky Spencer in your dreams is just that – a dream. The Spencer right in front of you is perfect, more perfect than what you’ve dreamed: shy but so attentive and sweet. He takes such good care of you. It makes you lose your mind a little bit.

“Fuck me,” you insist, and Spencer puts his hands on your hips as he starts to move. He fucks you deep, just the way you need him, and you cry out as he digs into your soft flesh, holding you tight so he can fuck you hard. The way Spencer pounds into you has your whole body trembling, pleasure coursing through you like electricity, till your mouth has fallen open and your toes are curling. 

“You’re so much better than I imagined,” Spencer groans, eyes squeezed shut as he puts all his energy into railing you. “Can’t believe this is real.”

You clench around him just to hear him moan, and you’re proud of yourself when his hips stutter and a groan rips through his throat in his pleasure. He glares at you. You grin, as Spencer keeps fucking you.

“What- Oh, fuck– What did you imagine? With me?” You gasp, as Spencer rolls his hips in a particularly deep thrust.

Spencer squeezes his eyes shut, before looking down at you, like he’s really contemplating if he should say this. “I– I pictured bending you over the interrogation table. Fucking you, making you scream my name, taking you right there, I–”

You moan as Spencer hits that perfect spot inside of you, your legs trembling as you gasp, “I– Why did we have the same fucking fantasy? Fuck–”

“What? You thought of me that way too?” Spencer sounds incredulous, like he can’t imagine you thinking of him that way– As if he isn’t drilling you into the hotel bed right now.

“Fuck, Spencer– Oh, my God– Yeah, I– You had me pinned down on the table, and you were fucking me in the interrogation room, in front of all of them–”

“God, you’re perfect,” Spencer grunts, burying his head in your shoulder as he uses the leverage to fuck you deeper, harder, faster. You can’t stop moaning Spencer’s name, simply too overwhelmed with the pleasure he’s giving you, the way he’s fucking you into the mattress. This is all you’ve ever wanted. Spencer fucking you like a madman, giving you all the pleasure you need but still being greedy enough to take and take and take. 

“Please! Spencer, you– I’m gonna cum, I can’t–” You cry, sobs wracking their way from your throat, so loud but you can’t be bothered to keep yourself quiet. Spencer groans your name, a sweet, sultry sound, and you feel like you’re going to lose your mind. 

“Cum for me,” Spencer hums. “You’re so perfect, and you’re laid out like this all for me. You’re so fucking hot. Show me how good I make you feel.”

You’re sobbing as your orgasm hits you, overwhelmed by Spencer’s filthy words and his filthier actions, so intense as he fucks you into next week. It’s too good, and you lose yourself much sooner than you expect. Your pussy clenches tight around Spencer with your orgasm, sending him over the edge as he fills you up, cock twitching as he cums inside of you.

He collapses on top of you, his weight comfortable as you both catch your breath. Your mouth feels dry, but you don’t care when Spencer is leaning over to kiss you again. It feels so right, this wild feeling you only thought existed in your dreams.

The next morning when the team is gathered in the hotel lobby to head to the hangar to fly back to Quantico, Emily gives you a pointed look, and Rossi is clapping Spencer on the back with a knowing grin. You apologise sheepishly, while Spencer grows red, avoiding eye contact with the rest of the team. He only meets your eyes, and the two of you share a smile. You can tell neither of you want this to end here. Maybe you’ll talk about it when you get back home. 

[melbatron5000]

It's a 2-man Con

Listen, I think I know a thing.

When Aziraphale comes back from talking to the Metatron and is telling Crowley about being an angel, we've all heard the theory that he's speaking code, trying to ask for help. The more I look at that scene, the more that theory tracks.

Maybe less well-known is the theory that Crowley didn't miss a damn thing, he's answering in his own code. And again, the more I look at that scene, the more this also tracks.

(When my husband, annoyingly observant beloved partner that he is, saw the second season for the first time, he said, "That whole thing was a show for the Metatron. They have a plan. Crowley slipped something to Aziraphale when he kissed him." And I said, "Nah." But now I think he's right, and damn if he isn't smug.)

I'm gonna try to break down what I think they're saying here, because it takes just a hot minute to piece it together. I've been thinking this over for a couple of months now. I think I have most of it. I just don't know when Crowley puts whatever he's handing to Aziraphale in his own mouth. I need more eagle-y eyes, it seems.

First, Aziraphale comes back from his talk. He's pensive as he crosses the road, and anxious when he starts talking, and mouths "I need help!" as he's talking. He's acting like he does when he lies to the other angels, and once it's seen "I need help!" is pretty clear.

He does the whole thing about telling Crowley he could appoint him as an angel, like old times, but even nicer. It's all very uptight and not positive at all. My interpretation? "The Metatron is here, I think he knows we're up to something, we have to go to Heaven right now and put things right before he really does something awful to one or both of us. The time to spring the plan is NOW."

Crowley stares at him. At first it seems like he's staring in disbelief, but if you really look at his face, he's listening, hard, and interpreting as fast as he can:

He asks Aziraphale if he told the Metatron where he could stick it, then. My interpretation? "The plan has changed. I can't go with you to Heaven. You'll have to go alone."

Then Crowley starts his confession -- "We've spent our existence pretending we aren't."

Aziraphale looks at him -- not with shock, or surprise, or love, or hope, but with a "Why are you doing this now?" face. Not "Why did you wait til now to tell me, you love me, oh, I love you too!" But "Why are you telling me SOMETHING I ALREADY KNOW while our ENEMY IS LISTENING??" :

He's confused, but also listening and interpreting. What I'm hearing/seeing: I don't think this is a love confession from our demon. I think they are both well aware they love one another. They can't say it in so many words, and it's a secret from Heaven and Hell, but it's not a secret between them. I'm hearing Crowley set the scene. "The Metatron either wants us together in Heaven under control, or separated. I have things I have to do here or the plan won't work, so we'll have to separate. We need to make it look good. I do love you."

I don't think Aziraphale likes this change of plan. And Crowley can't detail why the plan has changed, not with the Metatron listening. So Aziraphale insists, come with me. The plan we had will work. Do it my way. Crowley says, "You can't leave this book shop." It's easy to interpret that as "You can't leave me," but I don't think it's that. He's saying something about the book shop being safe, or even that he can't leave without whatever they've hidden in the book shop. (I THINK THEY HID SOMETHING IN THE BOOK SHOP!) Aziraphale says, "Nothing lasts forever." I hear him saying the book shop is no longer safe, and they have to move/take whatever they've hidden and they can't speak freely there anymore.

Crowley replies, "No I suppose it doesn't. Good luck." He's gotten that much, but he is still set on his "We need to fake a break up because I can't go with you."

Aziraphale still doesn't like that. "Come back! I need you!" He's scared. Whatever he has to do in Heaven is big, and scary, and he needs and wants Crowley with him. He does not want to go into the mouth of danger alone.

This is when we get, "No nightingales." What I'm hearing? ESPECIALLY since if you listen, you can hear a LARK sing as Crowley goes out the door? It's the line from Romeo and Juliet, by Shakespeare, whose plays they both enjoy, though Crowley prefers the funny ones. "It's too late, that's a lark singing the dawn, not a nightingale singing to the night, we have to part. Our happy ending isn't yet."

Then the kiss. I do not believe this is their first kiss. I don't believe they've allowed themselves many, maybe not even more than one, but I do think they've kissed before. I'm not sure when, but I suspect 1941. (Season 3, come ON!!)

And when they part, Aziraphale stops himself from saying "I love you," and instead says, "I forgive you." I'm hearing so many things in that "I forgive you." I forgive you for leaving me on my own, I forgive you for hurting my feelings like this, I forgive you for changing the plan without telling me, I forgive you because you are forgivable whatever anyone else says, I forgive you because that's what I said when we split up at the bandstand and everything was okay in the end and I hope hope hope that everything will be okay in the end this time too.

Crowley says, "Don't bother." I'm hearing, "yeah, I hope it's all okay, too. Wish me fuckin luck. My part will be hard, too."

And as Crowley leaves, Aziraphale mouths, "No." And we hear a lark sing. A lark, singing to the dawn, and so fair Romeo must away.

Just because the break up is a ruse, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and isn't hard. It has to look real, and so it's going to feel real, too. Ouch. :'(

And then Aziraphale touches his lips. Not once, but twice. My bad, he only touches his lips once. The first long second is pure emotion. "Why now, I hate this, I want that so badly and I can't have it."

After that, though --

After he pulls himself together a bit, he has a bulge in his cheek. He shifts his jaw to move whatever he has in his mouth to his lips, and then his first two fingers go stiff for a moment as he palms something right before he takes his hand away.

And then, this.

Edit to add: someone on Facebook asked me why a kiss to pass whatever Crowley gave to Aziraphale, why not palm it or drop it in his pocket?

My answers: 1. The kiss is a message. "We're still good, I still love you, I still want this." 2. The item is too important to be dropped in a pocket and hopefully found later. 3. The Metatron is paying WAY too close attention, and will definitely see them touch hands. Seeing a kiss and the angel rejecting the demon, though? Well, the demon forced that kiss on him, the angel didn't want it. Clearly the demon thinks this relationship is different than it is. It's a bigger gesture that sells the ruse. 4. Houdini's wife used to pass him the keys to his cuffs with a kiss before the show. This is a message that magic-loving Aziraphale WILL understand: here are the keys to your cuffs, sneaked to you by your beloved in plain sight.

That's it. That's what I got so far. I still have questions.

What did Crowley pass to Aziraphale? What's the plan? Why did it change? What does Crowley need to do that he can't go to Heaven again?

[cryptidghostgirl]

I have another chubby reader for you! I was only gonna ask for one but YOURE SO AMAZING I JUST HAD TO PUT IN ANOTHER REQUEST😞😩 Alastor x chubby!reader, where reader goes out with angel Dust to a party or something wearing a *cough* slutty *cough* outfit and Alastor SEES THEM WEARING IT 👀 and he gets possessive of reader and won't let them leave with angel (whose smirking in the background and fluttering his eyelashes like he's innocent because reader and Alastor are bother emotionally constipated or something and haven't confessed to each other😤) and reader is nervous enough wearing something so revealing already (but they felt good enough in their own skin to wear such an outfit; that confidence is quickly fading when Alastor stops her from leaving with the outfit) so she gets the wrong idea that Alastor thinks she disgusting or body shaming her 🥺 but Alastors just ranting about being ladylike and "dressing like a proper lady" , Angel Dust is now watching this heartbreaking train wreck happen and tries to intervene but then Alastor turns on him about tainting the reader or something but reader has heard enough and just quietly just turns around and walks to her room heartbroken 😭 then angel yells at Alastor and tells him everything *shocked Pikachu face* and goes to reader to fix this misunderstanding, you take it from here????? BUT THEY DO CONFESS

(I LOVE ME SOME HURT/COMFORT AND LOVE CONFESSIONS! YUMM!)

A/N I love your requests and I'm so glad you liked how Sweet turned out. I am actually really proud of that one myself. Of course I will write this. 11/10.

Pretty Bunny (Alastor x Chubby!Rabbit Demon!Reader)

Pairing: Alastor x Reader

Warnings: Hurt/comfort. Body image and weight stuff. I feel like Alastor is a bit ooc but I think this is cute so I don't super care.

Word Count: 2,049

Master Lists:

Master Lists 

Hazbin Hotel Master List

“And where exactly is it you two are off to in such a hurry?”

Y/n and Angel froze, Angel's hand resting on the handle to the hotel's door.

"Well?"

Exchanging a covert look, Y/n and Angel turned to face Alastor. Y/n clasped her hands innocently behind her back, looking up at Alastor through her lashes which Angel had done up in silver falsies, and Angel fixed a smile on his face.

"Just out." Y/n hummed.

"Yeah," Angel chimed in, draping one of his lower arms over Y/n's shoulders and bringing her into his side, "little Y/n here deserves a night out on the town and some fun."

Y/n quickly elbowed Angel in the side. The spider demon knew Alastor and his opinions on the night life of Pentagram City. He was tempting fate. Alastor raised his eyebrows.

"You deserve 'some fun,' do you?" Alastor asked, fixing his gaze on the shorter of the pair of demons.

Angel released his grip on Y/n, shoving her forward slightly. She stumbled a bit, shooting him a glare before looking carefully back at Alastor. His scrutinizing gaze traversed her form with care. Angel had insisted on dressing her up and while the outfit he had put her in was a bit out of her comfort zone, Y/n felt incredibly pretty. The little white satin dress hung from her hips, playing gently against her thighs when she walked, and the black knee high platforms made her at least a couple inches taller. Angel had even placed black satin bows around the bases of her rabbit ears to tie the whole thing together.

There were also the chains, thin and dripping off her body. A necklace here, a carefully placed waist chain there, she looked practically angelic. Alastor crossed his arms, tapping his foot menacingly as he impatiently waited for an explanation.

"Well, we've been working so hard to become better people and it's been three months since we've done anything... fun. Besides, it was my birthday last week."

"Uh-huh." Alastor nodded, his lack of amusement with the situation obvious, "And where exactly are you two planning on going?"

"Oh come on, Smiles. It's just a club I know." Angel sighed, "You're starting to sound like Charlie. I thought you wanted to see us fail."

"That is true." was the only response the Radio Demon gave Angel before fixing his attention on Y/n once again.

She was beginning to grow uncomfortable under his piercing stare. Y/n wrapped her arms around herself, her shoulders hunching slightly.

"So what is the issue, Alastor."

The name felt foreign on her tongue. Although she had been a guest of the Hazbin Hotel practically since its creation, she avoided Alastor. At first, it had of course been due to intimidation. Then, as he had slowly begun to reveal his true colors to the residents of the hotel, it had morphed into something entirely other. Y/n thought that the Radio Demon, one of the most feared overlords in all of Hell, was pretty.

Y/n had never been good at dealing with crushes or flirting or anything. She avoided him like the plague. Her tail twitched thoughtlessly with trepidation, shifting her skirt just the slightest bit, revealing just the smallest big more of her thighs.. It was the last straw for Alastor.

"You're not going out in that."

Angel pressed his palm to his forehead, shaking his head. Love was his specialty, the act and the feeling. It was obvious to him Y/n had a thing for the Radio Demon, and not just because she had revealed the information to him in one of their late night talks. He never brought it up with the rabbit demon who had become a dear friend in the time they had known one another, but he was relatively certain Alastor had some interest in her as well. The Radio Demon seemed to constantly be a few steps behind her, entering rooms she had just left, letting his eyes linger on her when they did their group exercises.

At Alastor's words, Y/n's mouth fell slightly open. Her breath caught in her throat, a shiver running through her.

"Oh."

Her voice was strained and Angel could tell she was holding back tears. Y/n turned away from Alastor, her shoulders slouching even further.

"That is no way for a proper lady to dress." Alastor continued, not seeming to notice the effect his words had had as he lectured the smaller demon, "I mean, you're barley wearing anything at all! For goodness sake, your shoes are covering more than that dress an-"

"Alright," Angel cut in, stepping up beside Y/n and pulling her into his arms, "that's enough big guy."

"You're clearly tainting her with your promiscuity." Alastor sighed, "What, you want to bring her to some club so ignorant wimps can drool over her all night? Or maybe that's what she wants to have happen."

Y/n pulled herself from Angel's grip and marched right up to Alastor. Her eyes wet with unshed tears, he looked down at the finger she was jabbing into his chest in mild shock.

"You are mean." she stated, "I can't believe how wrong I was about you. I thought... god!"

She let her finger fall and crossed her arms over her stomach once again.

"You ready to go, sweet cheeks?" Angel asked and she shook her head.

All the fight had gone out of her.

"No, you go ahead without me. I think... I think I'm just gonna go to bed. Thanks for... yeah."

With those parting words, Y/n stormed upstairs. Angel and Alastor watched until she had long since disappeared into the depths of the hotel. Slowly, they turned to face each other once again.

"What." Alastor said in the most deadpan tone Angel had ever heard come from the demon.

"How could you do that?" Angel asked accusatorially, taking a step towards Alastor, "She is the sweetest little menace on the planet!"

"Do what?"

Alastor's brow furrowed in confusion. He didn't think he'd said anything wrong, done anything wrong. Y/n was the one who had over reacted, stepped out of line, right?

"Do you have any idea how long it has taken her to be confident enough to wear something like that? She has worked so hard on her relationship with herself and... and... she felt pretty. Why would you say that shit to her?"

"I... what?"

"She liked you, ya dumbass! She cared about what you thought of her!"

Alastor took the slightest step back, his hand not grasping his microphone raised to his chest, hovering over his heart.

"I am afraid I don't understand you."

Angel sighed, trying to calm himself.

"Look. Y/n has a crush on you and you just told her she wasn't pretty."

"No I didn't. I told her she should be more ladylike. A crush on me?"

"Yeah well, that's not much better. She is who she is and she is wonderful! The way that she dresses doesn't change any of that."

"She has a crush on me?" Alastor asked again, dumbstruck.

"Yes you idiot."

"But she never speaks to me. I thou-"

"That's cause she's nervous. Geeze, you are dense."

Y/n jumped in shock as she caught sight of Alastor using his shadows to teleport into her room through the reflection of the mirror. Her makeup half off, she turned to him.

"The fuck are you doing here?"

Alastor opened his mouth, about to make a comment about her language before thinking better of it and closing it again. Y/n rolled her eyes, her anger and hurt having festered into irritation. She turned back to the mirror, using the cotton pad in her hand to take off the last of her mascara. Alastor watched her face through the mirror as she tossed the cotton pad to the side.

Reaching up, she slowly began to disassemble the sculpture of a hairdo Angel had put her in.

"Why are you here?" she asked again, placing a bobby pin on the table.

"I came to... apologize." he replied, taking a small step forward.

"What, did Angel force ya' to?"

It wasn't often her accent slipped out. Y/n had been raised in Brooklyn but her parents had been insistent she work not to have the accent. People didn't take people who had them seriously, they said. It only ever made an appearance when she was drunk or feeling any emotion to it's extremity, especially anger.

"No, I am here of my own volition."

"Yeah, sure." she scoffed as she pulled the last of the pins from her hair, allowing it to fall freely around her face as she turned back to him over her shoulder, "I totally believe that."

"It was not my intent to make you feel like you weren't... pretty." Alastor carefully said, avoiding her eyes, "Just tha-

"If an apology involves an exception, is it really an apology?"

Alastor had never been good at this. Apologies or any of the other feelings he had been actively suppressing about the rabbit demon since he had come to the hotel. She stood up from her chair, walking over to him.

Y/n knew the clock was ticking, felt the heat of the tears building in her head again.

"What." she asked, throwing her arms out to the sides and looking around the room, "Ya' think I'm ugly? Unladylike? Is that because I let Angel dress me up or because I'm not stick thin?"

"Y/n."

There were tears dripping down her cheeks now. She looked away, crossing her arms tightly across her stomach in protection.

"Just leave, Alastor."

"Y/-"

"Leave!" she commanded, "Get outa here!"

"Y/-"

"I don' wanna talk to you! What don't ya' get about that!"

"Y/n!" Alastor grabbed her shoulder, turning her to face him.

"What!" she yelled back, tears streaming hotly down her face, "What, Alastor."

"I... I think you're beautiful."

The tears stopped, Y/n's eyes wide. Fueled by a sudden wild courage Alastor continued, grabbing her hands in his own.

"I do. You... I don't have the words. You..." he shook his head, "I really don't. You are a wonder."

Her nose twitched subtly, her ears adjusting themselves atop her head.

"But then why... why did you say those things to me?"

"I was jealous." he anxiously admitted, "I never meant to make you cry."

"Jealous?" Y/n repeated with a slight laugh and Alastor nodded.

His cheeks were hot and his heart pounding in his chest but he refused to look away from Y/n. Releasing one of her hands, he reached into his pocket and retrieved a handkerchief. Gently, he raised it to Y/n's face, patting away her tears.

"You were jealous."

He wasn't going to be able to escape this one.

"That some other guy was gonna see you like that? Was going to charm you and hold you in their arms while I did nothing? Of course I was."

"I have a confession to make." Y/n said after a moment.

"And what might that be?" Alastor asked as he took another step closer to Y/n, still holding one of her hands in his.

He tried his best to repress a smile, her bashfulness was so endearing.

"I maybe, kind of sort of... think you're beautiful too?"

She looked up at him through her lashes. He let go of her hands, grabbing her by the waste and pulling her body into his.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." she nodded shyly.

"You know, I might have heard something along those lines from Angel just a bit earlier."

"From... that little bitch! I mean snitch! I mean both actually I guess."

Alastor laughed at her antics.

"So, pretty bunny, what are we to do with this revelation?"

Y/n's ears cocked. Alastor could feel her tail twitch, brushing up against his arm where he held her. A shiver traveled down his spine.

"Oh I don't know." Y/n feigned indecision, her hands finding her way around his waist as well, bringing them even closer together, "Maybe you should ask me on a date? If you're interested."

"Interested?" Alastor laughed, leaning down, "Of course I am."

[olgiisworld]

The interview // Choi Seungcheol

summary; you and Seungcheol have been a public couple on the media, both of you big artists, him being the leader of the group named Seventeen. Things have been a little rough lately due to lack of communication. You're invited to talk on a podcast about your recent achievements, but when your personal life is mentioned as a topic, you get bitter, and you don't manage to hide it. But how about the consequences?

Y/n x Seungcheol of Seventeen, genre: angst, frustration and unfairness with a hint of fluff in the end.

Word Count; 4,476 (oopsie)

Warnings; swearing

note; it took me months to finish this (mostly because of loss of inspiration, so you might notice inconsistency), but it's nothing special. Although you might like it :) I'd love to see comments! thank you for your support on my Beomgyu one-shot <3 smoochies ♡

it's been a while i've felt like shit. it's been a while i've felt more welcome to talk to the wall than talking to Seungcheol.

talking to Seungcheol seemed so hard for some reason. all we've been doing is fighting or ignoring each other. and that would be okay, if we didn't have each other's house keys.

it is hard to maintain a relationship that happened to go public, when none of you planned it. both me and Seungcheol being public figures really sat bad, especially with his constant need of privacy.

but it is hard. we can't just not leave the house.

that's mostly the reason we've been fighting.

everyday was a circle.

i return back to his apartment, where we had a silent agreement to meet everyday after work. my body and mind exhausted from all the work i've put in the studio. frustration seeping through my body, because of the disagreements i've had with the rest of my colleagues. concern, pain, fatigue, everything coming together, creating this unpleasant expression on my face. i know i seem cold.

but he just sits there. slumped on his couch. eyes fixed on the familiar black box. he cares enough to say "hey, how's work?", but not enough to ask about how I am. so i just shrug my shoulders and walk past him.

that's my life with my 'oh-so-wanted' boyfriend.

i'm a starved woman.

starved from love, from affection, from tenderness, from touch.

just touch.

his touch.

he hasn't touched me in god knows how long. all i get are dead kisses.

the repetition of each day made me feel angry, frustrated, pained, disappointed. made me feel like i was not worthy of him.

and the worst thing is that i cannot communicate my thoughts with the person i love.

he seems so stressed with his upcoming tour, that giving him one more reason to yell will only break him.

so i suffered in silence.

last week's fight was interesting.

a photo of us shopping together started making its way around social media. Seungcheol hated social media. and we both looked quite miserable in the photos, but i don't know if he noticed.

he yelled at me for not being careful enough.

apparently, i was the reason they saw us and they took those fucking pictures. like i enjoy being on strangers' camera rolls.

and i yelled back.

and we fought.

again.

damn it.

i cried so hard and he didn't even try to comfort me.

he didn't even touch me.

he didn't.

he didn't try to reach out.

he wouldn't even touch my hand by mistake.

i was so fed up.

so fed up of not feeling desired by the only person i loved..

the week passed, the same circle repeating itself.

i started going back to my house after work. Seungcheol didn't even try to ask why. he only said "i get that you might need space".

I am the one who needs the space?

i didn't even argue back. i knew where this was going and i felt like i was finally ready.

today, i had an interview.

nothing huge, just a small podcast. friendly podcast.

i wore comfortable clothes and hid my fatigue behind foundation and blush. i was okay with pretending like everything was fine.

it only broke my heart that people assumed "i am the happiest i've ever been". because people can only make assumptions. people only see the pictures. people only see the smiles, the kisses. or even the fatigue. but, "oh, everything is okay, she's got her man".

but what about Seuncheol?

people saw that he was stressed. people saw that he's probably not happy. people really had the audacity to say "i'm not good enough for him"!

like, fuck they know? they know nothing

and he never said anything. he never addressed those comments.

why?

because he believes that "what people say are bullshit"

but it sounded more like i'm not worth a small clarification.

i grabbed my keys and phone, closed my door and headed to the podcast set up.

everything was really friendly.

Alex, a familiar face of mine, would host the show.

i've happened to meet her before, at after-parties and gatherings, so we had talked before. everything was comfortable.

the podcast started shortly after and the talk was great. we also had a drink and a girls' talk that actually helped me take my mind off of my stress.

at one point, she turned to look at me when i sipped a little of my drink.

"so, um, i just.. i wanted to ask a few things, i know you don't really talk about your personal life, and that's why the questions are quite.. generic? you know.. of course, you can tell me to stop"

i felt some concern wash over me, as to what the consequences of this conversation could be. but i shrugged it off with a soft chuckle as i fixed my posture, leaning a little closer to the microphone.

"no, don't worry about it, shoot"

she smiled and read the notes of her phone, taking a quick sip of her drink as well.

''so, what is it like to be in a relationship?"

she looked at me with a small smile.

and all i could do was huff, trying to find an adequate answer.

i leaned back to the microphone.

"honestly? really hard"

Alex shot an eyebrow up in surprise.

"really? why, girl? is it hard for two great artists to live up to everyone's expectations?''

she chuckled and i just shook my head in thought.

i tried to put my thoughts in a row. it's hard to express everything i feel to someone after being so.. alone.

but i felt frustrated and fed up at the moment.

i fidgeted a little on my seat.

"i don't know.. it's not like there are no hardships in a relationship anyway.. it's just.. you can't find a way out of a hardship without communication, or respect. or understanding. there are many elements that have to balance out the hardships of a relationship, you know? at least that's how i view it"

i shrugged, my implication clear.

Alex caught my glimpse.

she nodded and looked at her phone shortly.

"that is really interesting, but everything can work out with love and patience"

i nodded, my smile a little bitter

"i guess.. i can't really tell you"

she tried to play it off with a small chuckle and i forced a smile

"i know you guys don't talk about your relationship, and privacy request is respected. but, not even posting moments on social media.. that's amazing. i actually admire that. it shows how strong your bond can be."

i chuckled, bitterness lingering on my laugh.

"not really. i wouldn't mind posting a picture or two. privacy is very much needed, but it's not like we have something to hide, or something to be so private about.. anyway, i really don't think it's that serious. but everyone has their own point of view."

she nodded, not wanting to pry on the matter, since she noticed my uneasiness.

she read of her notes again.

"does he inspire you to write?'

the question felt like a stab to the heart.

i couldn't say 'he used to'

and i couldn't say 'no' either

but i didn't want to lie.

i took a deep breath, trying to collect my words. i leaned on the microphone one more time.

"i don't really get inspired by real people.. mostly fictional characters, fictional situations.. nothing real. i used to find material from real life but.. i guess, my style changed"

i shrugged and forced a chuckle, trying to shake the feeling off.

Alex nodded and put a smile on her face.

"alright then, let's move on.."

i let out a breath i didn't even know i was holding. i took a sip of my drink, feeling quite relieved that we moved on from that topic.

the rest of the podcast went great, but i was tired and i couldn't wait for it to end.

as soon as we were done, i shook hands with Alex, she informed me about the slight editing she wanted to do, she thanked me and i thanked her back. she said that the episode would be out by the end of the week. i smiled and thanked her for having me. and i left.

i returned to my miserable apartment. the silence defeaning.

i hadn't seen Seungcheol in a week, but he didn't really seem to care.

i just left my shoes and coat next to the couch. i had lost my appetite completely.

i sat on the couch and took my phone in my hand.

i checked some of my messages and i saw Seungcheol's name among the notifications.

'Hey, is everything okay'

again.

not how I am. not if I am okay.

he really didn't give a damn about me.

i texted back a 'fine, no worries' and threw my phone at the end of the couch.

i started crying.

the only thing that comforted me was the sound of my own crying.

i hugged my arms around me and fell back on the couch. i was lost. i needed navigation. and he couldn't fucking give it to me.

[...]

Friday.

i headed back to my car after a long exhausting session at the studio. once i fastened my seatbelt, i grabbed my phone to check on some missed calls. a notification came in, saying that my podcast with Alex was out. i smiled excitedly, and turned it on to listen on my way back home. i texted her shortly and i threw my phone next to my driver's seat. i just concentrated on the road, the podcast being a pleasant background sound.

the drive back home was short, sadly. i just picked up my stuff, my phone still playing the podcast, as i walked back to my door.

i walked in, throwing my stuff on the couch, taking off my shoes and running to the kitchen, to grab some water.

when i walked in, i saw Seungcheol leaned against the counter, arms crossed on his chest, expression serious to mad.

my whole face went white when i saw him.

"fuck! you scared me.. what are you doing here?"

i was so shocked he was in my kitchen, probably more than i should, considering that he is my boyfriend.

he took a deep breath before i heard his voice.

"what the fuck? seriously. you're the one who's shocked here."

i looked around, confused by his words. i shrugged my shoulders.

"i guess.. i don't usually find you hiding in my house.. especially after not seeing you for a whole week.."

he scoffed. he didn't leave me any room for reaction.

"and you haven't even tried to reach out for a whole week.. but i guess, that's okay. relationships don't work without communication, like you said."

his words confused me even more.

i realized that what he quoted were my words on Alex's podcast. Now everything made sense.

i walked a little closer.

''are you seriously mad about this bullshit?''

his eyes widened

"bullshit? you say that calling me out is bullshit? telling EVEYONE how you feel, except from me, bullshit?''

my own eyes widened at his words

"what?"

his lips narrowed down, his madness more visible.

"what do you fucking mean with what? you literally let every fucking idiot know what's going on between us!"

he yelled

i looked at him in shock before processing to react with a scoff

"are you serious? what, how? by telling people that i'm having hardships in my relationship?"

he took a step closer

"you could have told me! me! not everyone! making everyone believe that we suffer!"

my head tilted in pure curiosity.

"which.. we don't?''

i asked, so simply.

he looked at me, his fingers running through his hair.

"that's not the point, the point is that you let everyone-"

i couldn't bear to listen so i yelled back

"i thought you didn't give a shit about what everyone thinks! you're such a hypocrite!"

he looked at me in shock

his eyes filled with disappointment.

"you literally implied that i don't love you."

my own eyes filled with anger and hurt.

"what do you fucking mean? you mean to tell me that i'm wrong? that everything is fine? that we don't fight every single time we try to talk? that we communicate just perfectly? that you don't ignore me? that you don't act like i am a stranger? no, i'm sorry, my mistake. you would touch a stranger, even if it was a fucking accident!"

he stayed there, in front of me, his face emotionless. he just heard what i said. or dogded my words, either way, he reacted the same.

"you implied that i don't fucking love you."

at this point, i felt helpless. fed up. rock-bottom. i just shook my head and let my tears slip from my eyes.

"Seungcheol, you don't love me. and i don't care. i have accepted it."

he cracked a hint of emotion, as he lightly flinched

"what are you even saying?"

i wiped my tears quickly.

"that you're a coward. that's what i'm saying."

he took a step closer, tilting his head confused.

"how am I a coward? you're the one who went and told everyone what we're going through! and you didn't even bother to tell ME something!"

i couldn't listen, i couldn't just stand there and listen.

I let out a cynical chuckle.

"and I thought you didn't even bother to watch my interviews.. guess i'm wrong"

I wiped my tears.

he seemed even more mad.

"of course I watch your stuff, but even if I didn't want to, everyone has been sending me this stupid podcast since it came out! everyone found a chance to make fun of me!"

i replied with the same anger.

"well, sorry, but you had to take a taste of your own medicine! do you even know what people say about us online?! do you? do you know what it's like to read that I'm not good enough for you, that I don't deserve you? do you even know how everyone fucking praises you, but all of them downgrade me? do you, Seungcheol? I've been living like this for the past 1 year and I never, ever complained to you about it. Because you always kept saying that YOU don't give a fuck about what people say! so fuck you, Cheol!"

my tears were running like a river at this point, but the mad expression on his face was driving me insane. his eyebrows relaxed a bit.

I made a move to leave, not wanting to have another fight. but, something I wouldn't expect, he grabbed my wrist and stopped me.

i pulled my hand away.

"no! don't you fucking dare touch me now! I've had enough! enough! you hear me? you're so cheap! you're embarrassed that everyone knows about your relationship not working, but you don't even care enough to fix this mess! fucking coward.."

he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, before he grabbed my wrist again.

he pulled me closer.

"I'm not a coward! I'm just.. stressed! really fucking stressed! and I know that you don't care-"

I stopped him.

"i don't care? I don't care?! are you stupid?!"

he tightened his grip on my wrist.

"how do you care?! you care and you don't even call me for a week? you care, but you don't tell me what's bothering you? instead, you go and talk about our problems in a podcast?"

i took a deep breath and looked at him, trying to remain calm.

"do you understand that it's easier to talk to the wall than it is talking to you?"

he swallowed down my words.

"what the fuck, y/n?"

i let out a deep breath.

i was on the verge of a mental breakdown, feeling like this conversation is the repetition of pointless yelling and arguments that were better understood by a wall.

i just shook my head, my expression full of disappointment.

"Seungcheol, i can't do this anymore."

his expression softened and he let go of my wrist, pulling his own hand back hesitantly.

his voice almost scared.

"what do you mean?"

i sighed softly, not able to hold back anymore. it was now or never. and i, unlike him, was not a coward. it was time to finally do it.

"it's not working... it can't.. it can't work... between us.."

my expectations were simple. him getting sad and disappointed or him not even caring enough to have a reaction. i surely not expected him to get mad at me, like he did.

"and you call me a coward?"

i looked at him confused. i didn't even find the chance to talk before he interrupted me.

"you're telling me that it's easier to talk to a wall, you go all out about me in a podcast, you don't text, you don't call, you don't care. and now you're breaking up with me? so, you actually don't love me."

i heard his words carefully before rolling my eyes in frustration, my reaction getting him more mad and he threw his hands in the air.

"love is not enough to hold a whole relationship up, okay-"

he yelled back, interrupting me.

"bullshit! and you know it! i love you, and i don't care if you can't see it, i care that i feel it though!"

my eyes widened slightly in shock but i managed to yell back.

"why don't you touch me?! why do you ignore me?! what have i done to you, how can you say that you love me?!"

he looked at me, his eyes mirroring the same frustration as mine did. but there was something else. the frustration was not towards me, it was towards himself.

"I don't know! i don't know! i don't know..."

his voice softened at the last 'i don't know', and i remained silent since he seemed to have a lot more to say. he let out a small sigh.

"I've been really really really stressed. really stressed. we're on the verge of canceling a world tour, our manager keeps telling us that he wants to quit, and we've lost a lot of money because of a merch company that happened to be frauds."

my mouth opened in shock at his confession.

Seungcheol never told me about any of these.

i was trying to find a reaction but i couldn't find it. so he talked instead.

"and you breaking up with me is the cherry on top. i know that i can't defend myself, and i won't sound pathetic enough to beg you to stay. if you want to leave me, it's fine. for you. i can't tie you down anyway."

his voice came out small, weak, pathetic, like he was scared to be perceived.

i managed to get my voice out.

"why didn't you say anything?"

he looked into my eyes, dead serious as he quoted me.

"do you understand that it's easier to talk to the wall than it is talking to you?"

i clenched my jaw, feeling anger instead of sympathy building up. i hit his chest, without thinking much, but he didn't even flinch. his eyes simply pierced through me.

"you're not capable of even admitting that you need me? really? i hate you!"

i felt fed up with my own self, pathetic with how miserable i was and felt. i was sad. my whole life was sad. i built a whole career that seemed to be drowning me. and my words didn't even shake his poker face.

tears streamed down my face and i couldn't control my sobs. even if i sounded pathetic, at least i was honest to my feelings.

i knew i was the reason we couldn't communicate now that we found a chance, but i was feeling too depressed to even try it.

there had been many chances in the past, and since nothing worked, this wouldn't work either. i simply cried.

he looked down for a moment, the straight line of his lips unwavering. he took a deep breath, sighing softly through his nose. i put a few strands of my hair behind my ear, while my tears were falling down like a waterfall.

i wiped as many as i could.

i knew that nothing could shake or top the tension my three simple words just created.

or at least that's what i thought, before he grabbed my chin and he kissed me.

my crying eyes opened in shock, his hand holding my lips close as his other arm creeped around me, pulling me into his embrace. the shock wouldn't let me kiss back, and i felt like he used my vulnerability to his advantage.

i felt frustrated, confused, and i pulled my head back since he held me close by my waist, trapping my hands on his chest, the feeling both new and familiar.

"i said i hate you!"

"oh shut up.."

he simply replied before pulling me back into a kiss, a hundred times more passionate than the first one. it was the first time in months that he kissed me with so much emotion. i could feel it. i could feel that he meant it. his other arm wrapped around me as well and he held me close, months after our last hug. and his embrace was so warm and nostalgic. my mind drifted to the memories of our first dates and my lips started moving against his, by instict.

my hands gently tugged on his shirt, the tears in my eyes stopping.

i felt warm.

and i hadn't felt warm like this since forever.

he kissed me with so much meaning and passion, like i would disappear if he'd let go..

after a moment, his lips moved to my jawline, placing gentle kisses along the line of it towards the spot below my ear. he placed soft kisses on my neck and his hands moved up and down my back, touching me gently. re-exploring me.

opening old wounds.

my breath became a little heavier as my mind traveled with his touch. the feeling was so new, yet so familiar to me.

i wasn't sure of what to say, how to talk.

he touched me after god knows how long.

i heard his voice, his breath tingling my neck.

"i'm so stupid.."

he simply said, but i didn't have an answer. not an an argument. he placed soft kisses on my neck, his hands traveling down my body.

"i need you so bad.. i need all of you.. in my life, forever, and right now.."

he whispered, sending chills down my spine. i haven't heard him talk like that, probably never.

"i need you right now, i love you.. i love you so much.."

he kissed my lips, his words felt like heavy prayers.

i looked into his eyes, feeling the vulnerability reaching the ceiling.

he kissed my face gently, placing a strand of hair behind my ear before cupping my cheek.

"you're the only tranquilizer i'll ever need.. i'm so sorry for never seeing it.."

he kissed my lips gently again.

i was so lost that words wouldn't even dare to come out my mouth.

but he didn't expect anything from me. he simply poured his heart out, like he hadn't done in months.

"i've been so stressed out and closed off that i didn't realize what i was doing to the only person that could help me."

his hands explored my body like he was searching for undiscovered spots.

my mouth formed a soft pout, my eyes glistening.

he pressed another soft kiss on my pout.

"baby, i'm sorry. i love you. and i'm a dick that doesn't deserve you. and i know it. i'll respect your choice to leave me."

he pressed a kiss on my cheek like a final goodbye and he softly unwrapped his arms from my body, but my hands grabbed them, almost like an instict, and i wrapped them around me again.

i kissed his lips a little more aggressively than expected by the both of us actually, and my hands cupped his cheeks. he kissed me back, without restraints.

my hands ran through his hair, softly tugging on his locks.

i broke the kiss for a breath and i talked.

"you're so stupid"

he nodded quickly, feeling breathless.

"yes, i am"

i kissed him again and i mumbled against his lips

"so stupid"

he moved his lips with more hunger as he repeated

"so so stupid"

i pulled back briefly, my chest carrying my heavy breaths, my fingers tracing the softness of his hair, his skin, leaving fire to their wake. my eyes locked in his.

i shook my head gently, processing the overwhelming emotion in my heart. i finally managed to express it.

"i love you, but you hurt me so bad"

i saw his face twisting with guilt. i knew he wasn't in a better position with all the stress he carried, but Seungcheol never meant harm. he was always a good guy. that doesn't justify his actions and i knew that, but i felt every crumb of love for him resurrecting, just because of his touch.

he spoke softly, his hands gripping on my skin.

"i'm so sorry.. i'm so so sorry.. i'll respect it if you want to leave me.."

i covered his mouth quickly, his eyes looking into mine with surpise. i sniffled softly before talking.

"i won't leave, you idiot"

he pulled my hand down, his expression more surprised and confused.

"but why?"

i sniffled again, a hint of smile that hasn't appeared on my face in months made its way on my lips.

"because i've made a mental promise to myself. i'm always by your side when you need me."

his expression turned into a melted one, his lips finding my cheek and leaving a couple of soft, loving kisses.

"i love you. i'm so sorry.''

he spoke softly, resting his forehead in mine.

i sighed softly through my nose, my emotions twirling inside of me like crazy.

"i love you too."

i added, and i closed my eyes.

he did the same.

at that time, everything felt a little more sure than usual. i clinged to that hint of hope he expressed through his words of affirmation.

my hand caressed his back softly.

why does every relationship have to go through a rough patch that leaves a part of you dead right after? you know it won't be the same. the only thing that gives you hope is the love inside you that can't die down. and i felt it, in his hug. i felt a little more sure.

[sdmnpact]

˗ˏˋHow Harry met Y/N ˎˊ˗

Part 8 (Final Part)

Friday Night ~

"Girl you look so hot!!" Jules gushed, I could feel my face get red as I spun around, showing off my full outfit. I had just finished getting ready for my date with Harry. This is our first official date. We spent the last couple weeks together but now it was time for a proper date. He told me to dress up nicely and I can only assume he'll do the same. Jules was here hyping me up as always, I can always count on her to calm my nerves and make me feel good about myself.

"Are you still nervous?" She asked standing up fixing the other outfits I had tried on. I went through my entire closet trying to find the perfect look. "Of course! It's our first official date! I know we've been hanging out a lot but it's still nerve-racking like what if I act weird and he doesn't want to go out anymore." I was just making myself more stressed the more I talked about it. "Oh Y/n, it will be fine! That boy is so head over heels for you, he's obsessed." She said reassuring you. Maybe it will be fine, I always get nervous about these things but I know that it's going to be okay.

The doorbell rang so Jules went to check who it was. "Y/n! You're date is here and he looks quite dapper!" she yelled making me laugh. I walked out of my room to be greeted with Harry wearing a knitted long sleeve turtleneck and dress pants. I've never seen him this way before, he actually dressed nice instead of wearing a hoodie or shorts. He looks so handsome like this, his messy hair now groomed, his top, tight enough to show off his muscular body. I couldn't help but stare at him, taking in all his features.

"Y/n!" Jules snapped in my face shaking me out of my trance. I smiled at him and he let out a breathy little laugh. "Well we should get going then." He said grabbing my hand leading me out the door. "Stay safe and don't forget protection!" Jules is worse than my mom in terms of embarrassment. I bet my face was as bright as a tomato right now. I looked over at Harry as he just held a goofy smile squeezing my hand.

He led me over to a car. This car had no driver which is weird, I thought we were just gonna take an uber like usual. "I thought, I would drive tonight." He buzzed with happiness as he opened the door for me. I smiled at him as I got in, putting my seat belt on. He walked around and sat in the drivers seat grabbing a pair of glasses from the dashboard.

"I didn't know you wore glasses?" He looked especially handsome with them on.

"Oh yeah, I don't really like wearing them but I do when I drive and stuff." I nodded as I looked out into the empty street only lit by a couple street lights and the moon. It was a full moon tonight so it should be eventful.

~~~

We sat facing each other in a very fancy restaurant. This place looked like I needed to pay a whole months rent just to be let in.

"Fancy place." I said breaking the silence that took over for the last couple of minutes since we sat down. He had been just staring at me with this look in his eyes. "Huh? Oh yeah... uh I guess I wanted to make an impression." He said breaking his gaze grabbing a menu. "You didn't have to try so hard. I would have done anything with you." I smiled burying my face into the menu. A steak for 90 pounds! This place is outrageous, I'm fine with him paying but I don't want him to break the bank for this one meal.

"Harry, don't you think this place is a bit too... expensive..."

"Nah, it's fine- unless you don't like it!"

"It's not that, it's just, I don't need this. I don't need all this expensive stuff. It's too much. I liked going apple picking with you, or just watching a movie." I admitted. I felt bad that I said all this because he must have worked hard to plan this date but I know I would have felt even worse allowing him to spend almost 100 pounds on a piece of meat.

"Really? I'm actually kind of relieved, I just wanted to go out and eat with you. This whole place is just weird." He laughed looking around. I smiled, happy that he felt the same way. We made our way out of the place, getting a lot of odd looks. "It's not like we dined and dash." He joked as we got back to the car. "Right, they were proper posh." We both laughed as he began driving. He rested his hand on my leg making me slightly jump at the touch.

"Oh sorry." He pulled his hand away. I reached for it and put it back. "No, I liked it." He gave me one of his cheesy smiles and kept driving. "You know what, I know a great place!" He said.

We arrived at a place with various trucks each with different food types around in a semi circle with tables in the middle. We got out and made our way towards them. "So what would you like?" I scanned the trucks looking at all the options. One immediately catching my attention. "Tacos?" I asked and he nodded.

All the options looked so delicious, I ended up getting three tacos while Harry got four. We sat down together at one of the tables with a blue umbrella. "Now this is more like it." It felt nice being here with him in an environment that didn't feel like I had to be something I'm not. "It's nice out here, it's sort of cold but the breeze is nice." He said taking a bite of his taco.

We spent the next couple of hours laughing and chatting away. It was so nice being able to talk to him like this. There was never an awkward moment between us. I loved staring at him as his eyes lit up whenever he talked about his interests, even if he mostly rambled on about airplane crash investigations. Time flew by so fast, it was already midnight.

"Maybe we should go home. It so late and so cold." I was shivering but Harry's warmth had kept me pretty warm until now. "Oh damn, it is late. Yeah let's go." He went over to throw away our trash as I sat at the table alone.

"You and your boyfriend are so adorable." A voice said from behind me. I turned around to be faced with a group of older women wearing gorgeous dresses. "Oh, thank you." I blushed a bit at the compliment. "You are both so beautiful!" "Yes! Oh I hope he cherishes you, you're a dime!" They went on as Harry made his way back. "What's going on?" He asked sitting next to me wrapping his arm around me. "Ahh look at that, he's so sweet!" "Seriously, the cutest couple ever!" "I remember when my husband and I were your age, enjoy your time together, it will go faster than you think!" We smiled brightly at them and thanked them for the compliments. They left us, laughing with each other as they waved goodbye.

"Well, that was... something." We laughed. He pulled on my hand and led me towards the car. "So, who's car is this?" I finally asked because I know that this definitely isn't his. "One of my mate lent me his car after I told him I was taking out a girl. He said no, but I persuaded him after telling him that it was the girl of my dreams."

"Oh really the girl of your dreams?"

"Yeah, the most prettiest, smartest, and funniest girl in the world is obviously the girl of my dreams." I could feel my face heat up again. He took a slight pause.

"Would you like to be my girlfriend?" His words took me back a bit. I've been waiting to hear these words but I was thinking it might have been a bit too soon. Glad he didn't think so.

"Of course!" I said grabbing his hand running my fingers across his. "Oh thank god, I was nervous you were gonna say no."

"Why would I reject the most handsome and funniest guy I know?"

"-and smartest!" We laughed as he added that in. We drove back to my flat and went in. He didn't want to leave and I sure as hell didn't want him to. We laid down in my bed watching Netflix on my laptop. I think we'll have a good time together.

---

A/n

The end of an era. This is the final part of this series! I am so thankful for everyone who read these, I know they aren't the best but I love writing cute little love stories. With that being said, I was thinking about making another 'book' as a part 2 of this one. It will have a different name but same characters. The second book will be about their relationship and the ups and downs they face. I will post that one soon, so if you liked this one, you can look forward to that. I hope you enjoyed!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I backed out of an overseas wedding trip that's in less than 6 months that I've been invited to for over 2 years

(Slight context first. The wedding was meant to be last year but got pushed back to this year. The wedding is for my fiancé's best friend who I've only met a few times. All of us are mid 20s early 30s.)

So this couple is getting married overseas for a destination wedding, and my fiancé (F) is a best man. He's known the groom (J) and his family for most of his life and loves them a lot, and they basically see him as their son. When F and I started dating (about 3 years ago), I met J pretty early on, and was told that naturally I was invited to the wedding. In the nearly 3 years my fiancé and I have been together, I've met J's fiancé and family twice, and each time they've been nothing but very kind to me and told me I was already family to them.

But, I'll be honest, I'm not very comfortable with the family. They are very big partiers, drinkers and smokers (including super early in the day), and I've had bad experiences with substances and people I know to where I intentionally keep my distance from the stuff, and if I'm put in a situation with it where I can't escape I shut down hard. I've previously had a conversation with my fiancé about how uncomfortable I was going to J's family's house because of it, and we talked through it and things are OK, but I still feel bad. Regardless, knowing that the family is very into the kinds of party scenes and stuff that I intentionally stay away from, my willingness to go to the wedding has dwindled for the past few months, especially knowing that for safety I'd have to stay with the party the whole time (about a week).

A few days ago, my fiancé started talking about how we needed to start getting things ready to go with tickets and travel plans, and then noted how unenthusiastic I was being about it, and ended up calling me out on how I was clearly just convincing myself that I NEEDED to go vs actually wanting to go.

He ended up telling me I needed to make a choice about it within a week, because he needed to work on travel plans, and I agreed. I worked through all my anxieties and concerns and reached the conclusion that I shouldn't go after all, since I'll just be in a stressed and panicked state the whole week and won't be able to enjoy myself.

My fiancé and I are going to talk officially about it in a few days, and we're meeting with J and his fiancé this upcoming weekend just to hang out, and while there I'm going to tell them that I'm not coming. I feel like the asshole because they've been really nice to me the few times we've met, these are people my fiancé really cares about and arent going anywhere for the foreseeable future, and I know the whole family will be pretty upset that I'm not coming, especially this soon before the wedding. However, I don't think I'd be able to enjoy myself or properly celebrate them if I went, and would feel like I'm trapping myself in a situation I'm extremely uncomfortable with.

So, WIBTA for my decision?

[wicca-wicca-whack]

Care

Gordon Malloy x Reader

Word Count: 3059

Now Featuring PT 2!

“You two haven't even talked since your first month here!”

This was an argument you and Talla have had nearly daily for the past month.

“We've messaged,” you remind her. “We're both Union members on fleet ships, we don't have time to call.”

“When's the last time he sent you something first?”

“Not this again, come on.” You sigh, looking away from your science console. “I don't keep track of who messages who first.”

“Well, you showed me last time we were all over at yours drinking wine,” she informs, looking a little smug. “He hasn't even initiated a conversation with you for nearly a year!”

You consider, briefly, smacking your head against the nearest wall. Of course wine-drunk you had shown her, probably wanting to prove a point you'd completely failed to prove.

“Relationships aren't about who sends who a message first.”

“But they are about communication and showing you care for each other.”

“We communicate.”

“No, you communicate. He can't even bother to ask you about your day.”

You sigh, returning your gaze to your console. “Shouldn't you be on the bridge right now?”

No sooner than you say that does Captain Mercer call her over the comms, and she gives you her version of a pout as she assures him she's on her way, moving quickly from the science lab.

The issue is that she isn't technically wrong- you and your boyfriend had been drifting significantly since you moved postings from the small science vessel to the Orville. When he found out you took the posting, he'd gone so far as to accuse you of acting like you were too good for the ship you'd met on. That wasn't it at all. The Achilles had been a great ship- great crew, interesting missions… but you wanted adventure as well, and the Achilles was only equipped for short expeditions. When you'd heard the Orville was working on putting its own anthropology team together, you'd put in an application immediately. You were a small team, and, to your shock, they'd placed you at its head. According to Commander Grayson, not many Union anthropologists with more than a couple of years of experience were willing to transfer to a new team. It ended up being not only good for you, but a good career opportunity, a chance to prove you could lead. Kevin didn't see it that way. Kevin acted like you were some sort of traitor, or like you were only thinking of yourself. Even just thinking about it really downed your mood, so you didn't, returning your attention to your work.

It's a few hours later, in the mess, that Talla and Commander Grayson sit down with you, and the Commander gives you a kind of amused look. 

 “Talla was just telling me your boyfriend sucks.”

You can't help the exasperated sigh that escapes you. “Commander-”

“Please, we're not working, and we're gossiping? Kelly is fine.” She waves a hand at you, sipping on her drink. 

You hesitate, but nod. “Okay, Kelly. Talla is totally blowing things out of proportion.”

“I mean, does he text you first? Like ever?” She leans back in her chair.

“He doesn’t have to, I’m more than willing to-”

“You guys talking about the shitty boyfriend?” Lieutenant Malloy takes a seat beside you, and you could scream. Absolutely the worst person who could decide to plop down into this conversation.

“You know about the boyfriend?” Kelly looks shocked, and you stab at your food.

“Know about him? Dude, we’ve met. The guy is a piece of work.”

“Guy is still my boyfriend, dickwad.”

He snorts, loud, unbothered by your barb, which irritates you more as the Captain and Chief LaMarr take a seat at your table. “Kevin D’Acunto is a major asshole. He’s known for being a piece of work and a total chick-hater.”

“He’s not a chick-hater, he’s-”

“Your boyfriend, yeah, I know.” He rolls his eyes, hard, and you scoff as Kelly looks between the two of you.

“Point of contention?”

“If you’re asking me if Malloy consistently badmouths my boyfriend, then yes.” Your fork goes down, no longer very hungry. “Excuse me.”

You take your food to the synthesizer to recycle it, moving from the mess as quickly as you can. You figure, screw it, fine. You’ll prove them wrong. Kev cares, and you’ll prove it, stop messaging him first, let him prove that he’s just as crazy about you as you are about him. 

You wait patiently, making yourself a snack at home, watching vintage movies on your viewscreen… getting ready for bed. You can’t help but feel like, well, obviously he must just be busy. The Achilles was a busy ship. Things happen, you can’t count all the late nights you’d spent at the lab. You give him a pass, expecting to wake up to a message in the morning.

Except there is no message in the morning. Your mood is soured from the jump, tugging on your uniform, grabbing a to-go coffee, and making your way to the lab as fast as you can.

There’s no message when you get home that night either, or by the time you go to bed.

The cycle continues for a month before Gordon confronts you.

“You’ve been such a bitch lately, what’s going on?”

You can't help the scoff that comes from you. “Fuck off, Malloy.”

Talla takes up on your left side, pulling you from Malloy and down another hall. “You are kind of… irritated lately,” she tries to be more polite about it.

You sigh, loud, running your hand through your hair. “I haven’t heard from Kev in, like, a month.”

Her steps falter. “What?”

“I stopped messaging him first, to… prove a point to you guys, saying he’s a dick and doesn’t care about me.” You pause in front of your quarters. “Apparently he is a dick who doesn’t care about me.”

She scoffs, punching in a code to open your door and pushing you inside, moving for your synthesizer. “Lieutenant Keyali to Commander Grayson.”

Your protests go unheard. “Grayson. What’s up?”

“We’re having a pity party with our favorite female science officer. You coming?”

“On my way as we speak. Grayson out.”

“It’s not a pity party,” you try, watching the Xelayan woman synthesize what must be a gallon of red wine.

“Okay, a breakup party.”

“We didn’t break up.”

“Oh, please. You don't speak even a little in like a month, you’re broken up. Either way, it’s a reason to drink!” She holds up three wine glasses as your door dings, and she lets in the Commander.

“What’s the reason for the pity party?”

“Well, the Lieutenant wanted to prove us wrong, that her boyfriend is super caring and great,” she sees your frown, “which is totally valid! But she hasn’t heard from the little scumbag in a whole month.”

She gives you a shocked look, and you shrink as she moves to join you on the couch, pouring big glasses of wine for the three of you. “He’s not worth a pity party, you should celebrate. Sounds like a total jackass.”

You sigh, taking a long sip. “He didn’t even want me to take this posting. He’s probably trying to give me the silent treatment.”

“For a month? Come on, if he cared he’d miss you too much to let it go on for so long.”

You sigh, watching Talla get music on that she likes, something slower, like old R&B, and you roll your eyes. “You guys are so annoying.”

“We’re your friends right now, excuse you.” She points a finger at you, settling into your chair. “And it’s only half for your ridiculously plush furniture.”

“Yeah, seriously, what is going on with this?” Kelly pats the arm of your couch. “Soft as hell.”

“I like nice things,” you defend, waving them off. “I like soft furniture.”

Talla takes a long drink before she speaks, grinning at you. “What about soft guys?”

“What are you getting at?”

“I’m just saying… you’re single now. Maybe time to start looking.”

“I think Malloy’s got a thing for you,” Kelly offers, giggling a little.

“A thing for pushing my buttons, maybe.” You swear your eyes roll into the back of your head.

“Maybe that’s his turn-on,” she teases, and you scoff, loud.

“Well it's not mine, so he’s going about it all wrong.”

She cackles, loudly, and you relax a little more. “Well, Gordon really isn’t the go-to guy on how to get women to like you, you know?”

Talla smothers her own laugh. “No, he so is not.”

“We don’t talk like that, so I wouldn’t have any idea about any of that.”

“He’s sweet!”

“To who? Not me!”

“You know, he hasn’t had a girlfriend in a long time, he’s re-learning how to talk to women.”

The night continues on, more or less like this. You, rebuffing every attempt at they toss to shine some kind of positive, sweet light on Gordon.

But in the morning, you can’t help thinking about him like some kind of cute, ginger puppy dog, and you curse everything around you that two women could change your opinion so fast.

Things kind of… shift from there. You don't mean for them to. But when Gordon makes little barbs- at least the ones not about Kevin- you're not as rude. You find yourself dressing a little more… revealing when you know he's going to be somewhere you're going to be after work. But you didn't go out of your way to be somewhere just because he would be. 

Sure, Gordon was attractive. That was never something you doubted. From the moment you got on board, you found him cute. But he was a dick, and you were in a relationship. But now it's been four months since you last heard from Kev, and looking back, you can't believe you dragged the relationship out for so long. It was kind of ridiculous, really. The news broke out last month about your lack of contact, and Gordon had been significantly sweeter since- probably trying not to rub salt in the wound, Kelly had told you. Which was shockingly polite, given that you'd expected him to pester you with ‘I told you so's. Another reason to tally onto your count of reasons Gordon may not be terrible.

You peek around the simulator, sipping on your drink. LaMarr’s birthday party. You, for one, were shocked to get an invite, but it looks like he invited just about anyone he shared more than one positive conversation with, including a Lieutenant you'd often seen both in engineering and subbing for navigation on the bridge, engaging in what could easily be a flirty conversation with the Captain.

“He's, like, totally into her, it's insane.” You almost jump at Gordon's voice at your side, blinking at him. 

“You scared me.”

“Dunno how. I didn't walk over here all quiet.” He gestures to his friend and the woman down the way. “Good for him, they're actually talking.”

You snort, peering at his drink when he gets it. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“What, no plans to flirt with one of the… 20 women LaMarr invited?”

“I don't really flirt,” he tells you, sounding a little bummed. “I'm cool, thanks.” You can see his eyes dart to your chest, but you save him the embarrassment of pointing it out. “Hey, I heard you totally laid a guy out because he grabbed your ass at your last posting, that true?”

You snort, an ugly sound, but Gordon's face lights up. “Ensign Barcus. Yeah, I did. Total prick, did it to women all over the ship.” You look into your empty glass. “I just about broke his nose.”

He chuckles, glancing at you for a moment. “Probably deserved it.”

“Definitely, yeah. I mean, come on, most of the scummy guys I'd met would never even try that outside of a bar.”

He hesitates, and you can see He wants to ask something, so you wait. Patiently. He fiddles with his glass, his hands, the zippers on his jacket, his hair.

“What's up?”

“Huh?”

“You look like you wanna ask me something. Spit it out, dude.”

“...I also heard you used to, uh… dance while you were at Point. For fun. Is that true?”

You flush, embarrassed. “Where'd you hear that from?”

He shrugs, obviously not wanting to give up his source.

“I… did some dancing at a nearby… gentleman's club,” you shrug. 

“Is that what we're calling them? Gentleman's clubs?”

You reach to whack his arm, and he laughs, holding his hands up defensively. “Okay, okay!”

He orders you another drink- you think he must have been watching you before, since he doesn't ask what you were drinking, but manages to get you the same thing. You think it's kind of sweet, if not just a little weird. Gordon rides that line between the two a lot, you hear.

You thank him softly, and he smiles, waving it off. “You talk to the birthday boy yet?”

You snort. “Just when I came in. He's a little busy with… every available woman who's interested, I think.”

He snorts. “John is pretty good with women like that, I guess.”

“You guess? Aren't you friends, wouldn't you know?”

“I really try not to hear about it.” He scrunches his face up, and you giggle. “Sometimes he just says too much.”

“Oversharer?”

“Big time, yeah.” He takes a long drink, rolling his eyes. 

“I thought all guys like to overshare.”

He just gives you a look. “I thought that was a chick thing, you know, chatting with friends about your boyfriend.”

“Maybe it's a human thing,” you shrug, playing with your hair.

Before he can say much more, Talla is on your side, grabbing another drink and pushing you against Gordon's side, making you squeak as your drink splashes your top. “Talla!”

“What?” Her eyes drop to your wet top. “Oh, shit, I'm sorry.”

You sigh, drinking what's left of your drink. “It's fine. I should probably head out anyway, it's late.” You smell like alcohol, and God knows you're not gonna leave, change, and come back.

“I can walk you,” Gordon offers, knocking his drink back like a true alcoholic.

“You don't have to do that, it's your friends' party.”

“He won't miss me.” He gestures to LaMarr, saddled up on a couch chatting with a couple of women. “Come on.” He nods you towards the door, and you catch a glance of Talla's shit-eating grin, and you know damn well she did it on purpose, so you shoot her a glare as you walk out with the ginger man. 

The walk is shockingly quiet. If you didn't know any better, you'd think Gordon was nervous. You keep yourself busy, pulling the neck of your top away from you, annoyed by the sticky, drying alcohol. You can see him looking, more than once, for more than just a couple of seconds, but you don't comment, stopping at your door and raising a brow at him.

“Well I guess I'll see-”

“Why don't you come inside?” You blame the alcohol, or maybe Talla's constant goading ever since she realized you were warming up to the man, for the question, and he looks appropriately shocked. 

“Me?”

“I don't see anyone else in this hall,” you offer, exaggeratedly looking left to right. 

“Right… uh… yeah,” he shrugs a little, and you reach to snag him by the jacket sleeve and tug him in with you. 

He's anxious- of course he is, given he's never been inside your quarters, but you wave him towards your couch before heading into your quarters to wipe down and change, coming back out in something comfy and maybe a little cute.

“That jacket can't be comfortable. It's got, like, eight zippers.”

“...Twelve. Not including the,” he gestures to the actual, functional zipper. 

“...What? Twelve?”

“It's got twelve zippers, yeah.” He unzips it, carefully shrugging it off.

“That's a ridiculous amount of zippers.”

“Looks cool though.”

“You look like a final fantasy character or something.”

He snorts, and you move to get yourself and drink and him a beer before plopping beside him, handing it over.

“Thanks,” he mumbles, picking at his jeans as you move to put something on the viewscreen.

“It's no problem.” You shrug, watching him hesitantly drape his arm over the back of the couch behind you. 

You hesitate for a few beats before leaning into his side a little more, feeling him tense. 

The two of you sit like that for a while- you can barely pay attention to the show you put on, brain focused on the warm body beside you, practically radiating off him. You can see him looking at you repeatedly, eyes coasting over your face and your body. The tension is thick, you feel like you could touch it. You're two attractive people, apparently attracted to each other, alone, sitting close on your couch.

You decide to bulldoze through the tension, pulling up and grabbing his shirt to pull him into you, kissing him a little rougher than you mean to. He stalls, and then one of his hands is on the small of your back as he groans. You tug him closer, nipping at his lip, and he sighs against you, nails digging into your top as he flounders to put his beer down so he can tangle his hand into your hair, your own arms wrapping around his neck as you fall back against the arm of the couch, tugging him with.

He pulls back as your viewscreen begins pinging with a call, and you both start at the name plastered over it.

Kevin D’Acunto.

You have a short internal debate as Gordon slowly parts from you, and you can't quite see his face, but from what Kelly has told you, you can guess that he thinks you’re gonna shoo him away.

You hold him close to you as you answer, unphased by Kev’s shocked face. You can hear Gordon say your name, a little panicked, but you ignore him, just hanging up the call and pulling the ginger man into another kiss, which he returns immediately.

You’ll deal with the backlash in the morning, but right now, you’d rather start a new relationship with someone who gives a damn.

[canirove]

Broken Hearts Football Club | Chapter 29

Author's note: And we've made it to the last chapter! 😞 Thank you very much to everyone who has read this story and for all the likes, reblogs and comments. They mean a lot! 💜 Especially since this story and June and Ben as a couple have become one of my favourites. Hope you like this chapter, and again, thank you very much for the support! 🫶🏻

Update: Don't forget to check the bonus chapters! 👀👇🏻

Previous chapter | Bonus chapter 1

Masterlist

"I can't believe we've made it to the final. I still have to pinch myself!"

"Like this?" Ben said, squeezing June's butt cheek.

"Chilwell!" she laughed.

"You said you had been pinching yourself."

"It was in a manner of speaking, you idiot" she replied, twisting his nipple.

"Hey!" he complained. "Though that was welcomed."

"Does it turn you on when I pinch your nipple?" June smirked, moving to look him in the eyes.

"No. I mean, a bit… But no. That isn't what I meant."

"Then?" 

"I have to pinch myself too because I can't believe this is real. Us being together" he said, caressing her cheek. "I still feel like any moment now I'm gonna wake up at the hospital after a crisis and that all this has been a dream. The best of my life, but just a dream."

"It isn't a dream, Chilwell. It is very real. This" she said, kissing his nose "is very real. And so is this" she continued, kissing both his cheeks. "And this" she whispered before leaving a soft kiss on his lips. "But if all that still feels like something from a dream, feel this" she said, taking his hand and putting it on her chest. "Feel the way my heart is beating. I had forgotten it was possible for it to go this fast for someone. Because of someone. I thought that after being broken in a million pieces, it would not be able to go back to what it used to be, that it could not be fixed, healed. Able to love again. And then you came into my life with your stupid facts and…"

"I love you, June" Ben interrupted her. 

"I hadn't finished my speech, Chilwell" she replied, rolling her eyes. "But I lo…" 

"Chilly, are you there?" Andrew said, knocking on his room's door.

"You've got to be kidding me" June groaned, resting her forehead on Ben's chest.

"Quite busy right now!" he replied, raising  his voice so Andrew could hear him.

"Well, wrap it up! We have some last minute things to film."

"Now?"

"Yes, now. See you downstairs in five" Andrew said before leaving.

"Duty calls."

"Duty can go to hell" June said while hugging him as tight as she could.

"Just three more days, June. Three days and we will be lying in the sun on a tropical island, just the two of us, celebrating that you are a World Cup winner."

"That does sound like a dream" she chuckled. "But if we win, it won't be three days. Because we will have to fly back, then we will have all the celebrations, the official visits…"

"Ok, fine. A week. A week and we will be together without no one bothering us."

"That's more like it" she smiled. "Now go shower before Andrew comes back and kicks the door down. I should probably get going too, I want to do some yoga before dinner."

"Wasn't everything we've done enough for today's workout?" Ben smirked.

"For my cardio, yes. But I want to stretch and keep my flexibility."

"I like your flexibility."

"I know" June replied, matching his smile. "Now go."

"Yes, ma'am" he said, kissing her nose and making her giggle before leaving the bed. 

The moment he walked into the bathroom and she was alone, June had to pinch herself. And this time it wasn't in a manner of speaking. Because this was real. Everything she felt for Ben, everything that was going on with her career after her injury, all this happiness… It was all real. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"June, before you leave us, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for taking this trophy home, for the tournament every single one of you have given us, for how you've fought and made us enjoy watching football, but most importantly… Thank you for your hard work these past months. I know how tough it has been, that you've worked your ass off literally and figuratively to be here today. And it's all been because how much you love this sport and everyone involved. So thank you, June. Thank you."

"Aww, Andrew. Come here" she said, hugging him. "You've made me cry on live tv."

"Sorry" he chuckled. "But I've meant every word."

"I know" June smiled.

"Now whatever Chilly and I say is gonna sound stupid or worthless" Jacob laughed.

"It will" Ben chuckled, his eyes fixed on June. He was trying really hard to stay composed and not show his emotions too much. Again. 

When she had scored he had gone crazy, screaming and clapping until his hands hurt. Andrew and Jacob had gone as mad as he had, which thankfully had made his reaction less odd. But standing there in front of a camera, and once everyone had calmed down a bit and it was just happy faces everywhere you looked, he couldn't let his feelings take over him. He couldn't just kiss June and tell her how proud he was of her and of everything she had achieved even if the whole country knew that they were together. At least not yet. 

"Well, in that case, I think it's time we let June be free so she can keep celebrating with the girls" Andrew laughed.  

"There is something I must do before I go, tho" she said. 

"Oh, ok."

"Can you please hold this for us?" she asked Andrew, giving him her microphone and Ben's.

"Sure" he replied, not sure about what was going on.

"June…" Ben said. She was going to do something crazy. He could see it in her eyes, on the way she was looking at him.

"I love you too" she smiled before throwing herself at him, making him lose his balance a bit when she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. 

She had done it. She had finally told Ben that she loved him, and she had done it in front of the whole world to see, no one interrupting her this time. 

She was sure their kiss would be all over the internet in just a few minutes, that people who had never heard their names before would get to see it too. But she didn't care. Nothing else mattered. It was her and Ben, her lips on his. 

"Ok… That was unexpected" Jacob said while June and Ben kept kissing.

"Was it?" Andrew chuckled, more cameras and people with phones starting to surround them, all of them wanting to immortalise the moment.

"You are fucking crazy, Maxwell" Ben laughed when they managed to stop kissing.

"It's your lips, Chilwell. They were made to be kissed I can't help myself."

"And what you said before kissing me?"

"What about it?"

"Did you mean it?"

"With every fiber in my body. I love you, Ben Chilwell."

"I love you too, June Maxwell" he smiled before kissing her again, more and more people surrounding them while Andrew and Jacob tried to protect them, to give them some privacy. 

After so many years of being heartbroken, of thinking she would never be able to love again, June had found herself falling head over heels for someone with also a broken heart. Ben's was physically and hers was emotionally, but they had somehow healed the other. 

It hadn't been easy, definitely a bumpy ride. But neither of them would change it for anything in the world. 

━━━━❃━━━━ FIN ━━━━❃━━━━

[victorluvsalice]

Valicer Multiamory Month, Day Twelve: Explaining/mapping the polycule (Running Into The Bullshit AU)

We've hit a fun one today in Multiamory March (as put on by @polyamships) -- "explaining/mapping the polycule!" A prompt all about figuring out how to explain the various relationships within your group of partners, metamours, friends, and what-have-yous --

And the minute I saw it, I was like, "Oh, I have to do this with the Running Headlong Into The Bullshit mega-polycule." XD Running Headlong Into The Bullshit, for those of you not in the know, is my name for the ship that involves not only Victor, Victoria, Emily, Alice, and Smiler, but also Christopher White, my OC based off the White Knight from Through The Looking Glass (with his name and general looking coming from Christopher Lloyd's portrayal of the character in the Hallmark Alice In Wonderland); Richard Hatter (a humanized version of the AMA/A:MR Hatter with a better attitude); and Preston Garvey and Piper Wright from Fallout 4 (two of my favorite companions in the game, and the two I've romanced during my playthrough with my Sole Survivor version of Victor). The ship name itself comes from this post on how each OT3 has the basic roles of "running headlong into the bullshit, pretends to not want to run headlong into the bullshit but secretly loves it, and does not actually want to run headlong into the bullshit but is pulled along by the other two," and my addition about how Victor keeps getting involved with people who want to run into the bullshit. XD It's not really an AU so much as a silly concept I came up with once and occasionally think about (I know it would be an "all modern day college students AU" and that's about it), but given it involves a nine-person polycule, I thought it was perfect for this prompt.

So! Without further ado, I give you Smiler, Richard, and the rest of the polycule explaining their dynamics to an unnamed questioner, who may or may not be regretting asking. :p Enjoy!

--

“Got our visual aid ready, Richard?”

“Yup! Ready when you are, Smiler!”

“Great! Okay, so, the first thing to understand is, most of this polycule revolves around Victor.”

“A fact that confuses even me to this day.”

“We’re working on his self-esteem. Anyway, that puts him here, in the center of this six-partner web of myself, Alice, Victoria, Emily, Preston, and Piper. With me so far?”

“Yes…”

“Fantastic. Now, over here you have the ‘Valicer’ triangle – that’s me, Victor, and Alice. Alice and I are both romantically involved with Victor, but our own relationship is more on the queerplatonic side – that’s why our connecting line is green instead of red. And over here we have the ‘Everdortmack’ triangle – that’s Victor, Victoria, and Emily.”

“We had to use our last names instead of our firsts, for, well, obvious reasons.”

“Right – they are in a proper triad relationship, romantic all around. And here we have the – did you guys ever come up with a name for your threesome?”

“Our names are kind of hard to combine, Yellow. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

“I kind of liked Christopher’s suggestion of ‘The Press, The Past, and the Pale’ – though I think we need a better P-word for Victor.”

“Pale does fit me…”

“We’ll go with the ‘Triple P’ triangle for now. Anyway, yes, this is another triad with Victor, Preston, and Piper. So far, so simple. But now things get interesting, because Preston is also involved with Victoria–”

“We’ve only been on a couple of dates so far, but it’s been very nice.”

“And Piper is involved with Emily!”

“Our dates have been a little more physical. ...DANCING! WE’VE GONE DANCING! STOP LAUGHING!”

“No. And Victoria is also romantically connected to Christopher here–”

“What can I say, I’ve always loved a proper lady.”

“And Richard is involved with Emily!”

“Our dates are not physical at all because I’m asexual.”

“Richard!”

“And overall, we’re all in what you might call a ‘garden party’ polycule – we’re all on good terms, but not all of us hang out together all the time.”

“Mostly because it’s incredibly difficult to coordinate dates for nine people, and we all have a lot going on in our own lives.”

“Exactly – so, any questions?”

“Yeah – how the hell do you all even meet to get tangled up like this?”

“Oh, that’s a series of much longer stories. Richard?”

“Got the outline right here!”

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1199: Rabbit Mother of the Year (Sonic)

8:56 a.m. at The Crocodiles' Household: Vector and Vanilla's Bedroom........

Espio: (Politely Bows at the Married Couple While Standing By the Room's Doorway) Breakfast will be ready for the both of you shortly.

Vanilla: (Happily Claps her Habds While Laying Next to Vector on Their Bed Together) You kids are the sweetest in the world, thank you!~

Vector: (Chuckles Lightly) What's on the menu this time around, chef?

Espio: The usual: omlettes, french toasts, sausages, two cups of orange juice, and pancakes, only this time they will be covered in rich, strawberry flavored syrup.

Vanilla/Vector: Ooooooooooooh!~

Vanilla: Strawberry flavored~

Vector: My month's already watering up just thinking about them~

Espio: (Nodded Proudly) You have every right to think that way. I poured some on a pancake I test tasted last night and it was pure delight. I'm certain you two will love it as much as I did-

Cream: (In the Other Room) ESPIOOOO! CHARMY'S TRYING TO EAT THE PANACKE BATTER AGAIN!!

Cheese: (In the Other Room) CHAO CHAO CHAOCHAO!!

Charmy: (In the Room With a Muffled Sounding Voice) I AM INNOCENT UNTIL BREAKFAST TIME

Cheese: Charmy that is NOT how the saying hoes and YOU KNOW IT, MISTER!!

Charmy: YEAH-HUH!

Cream/Cheese: NUH-UH/CHAO-CHAO!!

Espio: (Hears His Siblings Bickering in the Kitchen Before Sighing in a Bit of Annoyance) That is unless Charmy tries eating the whole batter.....

Vanilla: (Starts Getting a Bit Worried) Are you sure you don't want me to help you kids in there? You sounds like you're struggling a bit in there.

Espio: (Simply Nodded) Positive. Today is a celebration of your hard work and dedication you put into becoming the mother you are before us and you are more than deserving of receiving a much needed break for your years of efforts (Turns and Points at Vector) Vector, make sure mother remains well rested and relaxed in bed!

Vector: (Quickly Salutes to Espio) Right away, sir! (Happily Extends his Arms to his Lovely Wife Next to Him) Another cuddle session from yours truly, miladay?~

Vanilla: (Giggles Softly) Yes, please!~ (Gives Vector a Very Loving Hug as the Two Shares an Equally Lovong Kiss)

Espio: Feeling relax now?

Vanilla: (Happily Snuggling to Vector's Embrace) More than ever!~ (Turns Back to Espio) You kids try not to make a huge mess in the kitchen, okay, honey?

Espio: (Bows at Vanilla Again) We'll do our best, mother. (Sprints Himself Back to the Kitchen) Charmy, how many times I told you not to mess with the batter!

Vanilla: (Happily Squeals in Her Husband's Arms) I love my precious family so much!~

Vector: (Chuckles Lightly at How Adorable his Wife is Acting Right Now) We love ya right back, hon~ I don't think this family wouldn't even be what it is now if it wouldn't for you.

Vanilla: Oh come now, you contributed into creating family just as much as I did.

Vector: Yeah, but that's only cause you inspired me to step up and take this father role more seriously these days. (Smiles Softly at his Wife) You really have a lot of my thanks there, Vanilla.

Vanilla: (Smiles Back at Vector) You're very welcome, dear. If anything, I should be thanking you and the boys for providing and being apart of this family, even before we got engaged.

Vanilla looks over at a few pictures of her and daughter together sitting on top of the dresser on the other side of the bedroom, from the day Cream was born, her two seperate birthdays, the day Sonic saved her from Eggman's grasps, all the way up to the day when the two are getting themselves ready for the big wedding day.

Vanilla: ('Sigh') We've been through so much together, Cream and I. Two of us against a wild, unpredictable world around us.....It never ceased to amaze me just how far I've came to get there where we are at now.....All by myself.

Vector: Do you ever....think about who's Cream's father is? O-Or if....you....wanna know who it is or- (Quickly Shakes his Hand Around in Front of his Face) Y-You know what? I have no right to ask you that. Forget I even said anything to begin with, I'm sorry-

Vanilla: (Gently Grab Hold of Vector's Hand) No no, baby. It's okay. You don't have anything to apologize for.

Vector: ('Sigh') You sure? Last thing I ever wanted to do is ask you something that would make you uncomfortable to answer.

Vanilla: (Nods While Giving her Husband a Reassuring Smile) I'm positive. I can handle any tough questions you're willing to give me, Vector, I promise. (Kiss the Top of Vector's Hands Before Taking a Bit of a Deep Breath) To tell you the truth, it's been a very long time since I thought about who the father really is and honestly......I'm content on not ever knowing.

Vector: Really?

Vanilla: Yeah. D-Don't get me wrong! It would be nice learn about the truth one of these days and it'll only be matter of time before I tell Cream everything, but right now, I wanna focus on living in the present I am right now. (Resumes Back to Snuggling on Vector) With you and our family. Is that okay?

Vector: (Stares at Vanilla For a Brief Second Before Hugging her Back Lovingly) Sounds like a solid plan to me! And I'll be right by your side whenever you do wanna telling her one day.

Vanilla: Oh honey, you don't have to go out of your way to do that for me.

Vector: (Smiles Sincerely) I know. But I want to because you're my partner, my everything, and I love you with all my heart.

Vanilla: (Heart Begins to Melt in Pure Happiness) I love you all my heart too!~ Now~

Vector: And forever more~

The married couple stares deep into each other's eyes before slowly reaching over to one another for another kiss-

Espio: (In the Other Room) Charmy! Cheese! Will you two QUIT trying to eat the pancakes, every time i make a new stack!?

Cream: They're for daddy and mommy to share together!

Charmy: (In a Muffled Sounding Voice) Well, excuuuuse us for having both of our tummies rumbling in the early morning!!

Cheese: (In a Muffled Sounding Voice as Well) Chao Chao ChaoChao Chao!!

Espio: ('Sighs Heavily') Of all the- Have either of you even learned ANYTHING from our lesson in the Importance of Having Patience the other day?

Charmy: That is super lame and boring?

Cream: No! That it will lead you to a greater reward and satisfaction when- HEY! Cheese Rabbit, what do you think you're with that strawberry syrup in your hand!?

Cheese: Uhhh.....Chao chao-CHAOCHAO!

Charmy: I'M OPEN, I'M OPEN, I'M OPEN!!

Cream/Espo: NO!

'CRASH' 'RUMBLE'

Vanilla: (Felt a Sweat Drop Falling Down From Hearing All of The Noises Going From the Other Room).......They're making a mess in the kitchen again, aren't they?

Vector: (Sighs While Facepalming Himself) Yeah. (Rolls his Eyes) And it doesn't take a genius to know who's started all this. (Starts Grumbling While Getting Himself Up From the Bed) Those two are gonna make my scales run dry one of these days......

Vanilla: (Giggles Softly) Don't be too hard on them, sweetie~ They're just our precious little babies~

Vector: ('Scoffs') Our trouble making babies is more like it.

Vanilla: (Playfully Pouts at her Husband) Vector!~

Vector: (Snickers a Bit) Kidding, kidding. You know I love those two boys as much as you do. But knowing how much mess they usually make, it'll probably be a while before breakfast completely ready.

Vanilla: (Went Back to Smiling Again) Take as much time as you need to do so. Ooh, and let everyone know that we'll be having ourselves a little Movie Morning in here once you're finished

Vector: Movie Morning, huh? Sounds like another reasonable plan to me. We'll be back here with your meal before you know.

Vanilla: Please do. I'm missing you in my arms so much already, my darling Vector-Kins~ (Starts Puckering her Lips Up)

Vector: (Chuckles Lightly) I'll miss you too, Vanilly~ (Gives Vanilla Another Loving Kiss on the Lips That She Deserves) Happy Mother's Day. (Turns Towards the Doorway Before Screaming Out.....) CHARMY! CHEESE! (Dashes His Way Out of the Room to the Kitchen) You better not be making a huge mess in the kitchen again!!

Charmy: Why us specifically!?

Cheese: Chao ChaoChao Chao Chao Chao!

Charmy: Yeah, what he said!

Espio: The Breakfast Monster. Really.

Vector: Are you two that desperate in delaying the inevitable!?

Cream: It's sad really.

Charmy/Cheese: HUUUSH/CHAOOO!

As the rest of the gang continue their banter among one another in the kitchen, Vanilla turn towards a picture frame of her and co. taking a picture together on front of the wedding aisle, as a family.

She then picks the frame up from her wide of the dresser and kisses before gently hugging it close to her, happy and blessed to be where she is in life right now, with the people she will forever love and cherish.

@rechicken-and-waffles

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

@caleb13frede

@bestpony666

[goldenhickeyss]

Wanted

These last few months we have been definitely spoiled... 

From the 1st of February, until the end of April, we've had 15 vlives from Jungkook and 8 vlives from Jimin. In total 23 vlives in 3 months. That's an average of almost 8 vlives per month. LOL

(I know, I know.. some of the JK’s vlives are in the same day... but all together have more than 3 hours total length... that's equivalent to several vlives of the rest of the members. ;))

Now it seems like a dream... 

We are half way through May and....

Let's see…

My positive side is that these two are finally aligned and both working hard. We don't know what Jimin is up to, but I'm optimistic that more music is coming. And of course, JK is totally into JJK1.

(my negative side keeps thinking about that last post of JK asking his stalker to shove the food up her ass. I hope he comes back soon, with his beautiful ponytail and the whole threat thing will be buried)

Before February I used to grieve thinking that there was nothing in the pipeline that would bring jikook back together in content.

After the last few months, I think I've learned that there are always plot twists, unexpected surprises, subtle gifts to their fans….

They know we're here, and while they're still with us, they'll surely come back from time to time.

There are a few months left to enjoy many things. I would advise everyone to try to live this in the best way possible.

Talking to a friend, I told her that BTS will keep putting their fans first, at least until this chapter is over.

Not for nothing Suga himself, who writes challenging lyrics and drinks on stage, and smokes in his MVs (to reflect the reality of his generation/age, not to set an example of anything), just recently said in an interview that they are all like "real brothers" and have been living these last 10 years together LOL…. any curious fans will know that in 2018, when they had some issues, many of them moved out to live on their own.

I mean, we're living, in my opinion, a sort of Chapter 1.5, with them discovering new facets of their independence (I loved NJ's interview for Vogue, and how he acknowledges the limited or isolated life they've lived until last year), but without crossing too many boundaries (and especially not changing too much certaing OT7 dynamics)

Couple this with the lack of ot7 content, this might not be the best of the chapters, imo. Not so for jikook, at least in our eyes. We are certainly far from the golden age of 2019.

But it is what it is… and as I said, better to enjoy it, not think too much about the dark parts of this fandom. Let's learn to respect each one of them and who they hang out with or don't hang out with. What they want to show us or what they want to keep to themselves. We are not in their shoes...

..and wait for whatever, because whatever will come… as Letter came.

[day6source]

Young K deals with change in new album 'Letters with notes' — a track-by-track guide

by Franchesca Judine Basbas

Young K is back home. 

Since completing his military service last April, the Korean singer and DAY6 member has wanted nothing more than to be make music again, to get back on stage and be with his fans. "As a musician, I believed that was the most important thing to do," he told Bandwagon.  So, in the last couple of months, Young K has been working endlessly piecing his comeback together and before he knew it, he had a full-length album in his hands. Letters with notes is a heartwarming record recounting all that's changed and everything he's wanted to share during his time away. "I didn't initially aim for a full-length album; I just tried to write good songs and explore new ideas," the singer shared. "Undoubtedly, time has passed. My voice has changed, and I'm sure my thought processes have changed too. These changes have probably influenced the results I’ve achieved in my music." Learning and growing from his debut album in 2021, Eternal, Young K wanted every track on Letter with notes to contain bits and pieces of his heart and soul, emedding all the experiences that has inspired and influenced him over the last couple of months.  "The thought of wanting to create an album came from the wish to come back as fast as possible. All the recordings started after I was discharged, but been having ideas coming up in my head, so I can't really define it exactly," said Young K.  Bandwagon caught up with Young K to learn about the stories on and behind Letters with notes, track by track. Check it out here. 

WAITED (오늘만을 너만을 이날을)

I imagined what it would be like to get back on stage. The song starts off with me saying I feel nervous and asking how all of you were. In the chorus, I sing about how much I waited for this moment.

NOTHING BUT (이것밖에는 없다)

Singing about how it's hard to let go of love even as it fades from view. The song underwent several adjustments, and the title of my first mini album, ‘Eternal’, became the very first lyric of this song.

LET IT BE SUMMER

Talks about how I never want the summer to end, symbolizing summer as youth and the most passionate season, and drawing a comparison to life. I was glad this song was released at the end of summer, just before autumn arrived.

DREAMER (꿈꾼)

I envisioned an image of a person who has been through tough times but still dreams and sees their reality becoming brighter. Stars being drawn, a story of a dreamer.

BUNGEE JUMPING

It was the very first song I performed at a festival before its official release. I wanted to put a refreshing vibe, so I imagined a first-time bungee jumping experience, something I still haven't tried.

NATURAL

The word 'natural' caught my attention for some reason. I thought of what's natural: breathing, having meals, and the flow of time. It’s a very upbeat track with a rhythmical melody, making it quite enjoyable to perform live.

STRANGE

After watching Dr. Strange, the word 'strange' resonated with me. I began thinking of what the norm is. If I'm surrounded by strange people, would I still be considered strange? This led me to the idea that a concert is a place where you can liberate yourself and be free, so I wanted to create a song that asks people to get strange with me. I then brought the melody and lyrics to Park Mun Chi, and I loved how the song took shape.

SOUL

Doesn’t everyone have moments where you have to put on a smile even when you don't feel like it? The track itself already had enough soul in it, so it started off with the word 'soul'. I thought of soulless smiles and made a song looking for the soul that's lost.

PLAYGROUND

When I was editing the song, I was actually sitting at a playground, watching kids play. I came up with the concept first, but seeing them with my eyes made me take a closer look into how we've grown but the life we live isn't so different.

BABO

An English song but has a title with a Korean word. The word was chosen due to pronunciation, but I was pretty satisfied with the result. ‘paulkyte’ who I worked with was introduced by another musician named Eldon, who I enjoy listening to and a good friend of mine.

WHAT IS..

One of the fastest tracks written out of the entire album, I was able to write up to the first chorus the day we started both melody and lyrics. I loved the line and the tone of the piano, so I guess that helped me come up with an idea quickly.

[hotforharrison]

My ex-husband visited last night to have some time together as friends, and we spent a couple hours watching a show about sunken ships on Disney+ and had dinner together.

It was nice.

I admitted to him how much I missed him and that I genuinely appreciated him seeing me, even if it was on different terms than we used to have.

He cuddled me on the sofa for a while, and he let me cry all the tears seeing him again brought out of me.

We talked about very hard things for me to talk about, while I cried more than I thought I would, and we're going to go to the courthouse to file the paperwork to legally start the divorce this coming week.

He had some overtime this last paycheck, so it won't be a problem to pay for the (stupidly expensive) court costs.

We've been separated for almost two months now. He's moved out, and nothing else will change because of some paperwork, but it's somehow different dissolving our bond legally.

When I was finishing up cleaning his former room to turn it into my own space, completely devoid of his things, I found the ring he wore when we got married, the temporary one I got for less than $20 at Walmart in 2010. I didn't know he kept it for all these years.

It fucking broke me for some reason, and I cried for so long at the discovery.

Even if it wasn't stupidly hot, I can't be in the master bedroom. It feels so wrong. There's no more "us," and the decor is different, but it still feels like "our" room. We shared it for over a decade.

Maybe that feeling will fade with time.

Right now, I can't bring myself to remove his stuff from the vanity or the shower, even though I know he's not coming back.

I'm not in denial. It's just hard to accept it, that this chapter of my life is ending, and I'm so fucking terrified. I've never been more hurt or scared in my life.

I've been spending most of my time in his former room that has the window AC unit, which I'm working on make into something that's as mine as possible with very, very minimal spending -- just using as much stuff that I already have as possible.

I might have to hit up a Goodwill or two to see if I can find some wall decor on the cheap. It's looking like I'm coming up short in that department, and it's so important to me to make the single room I'm spending extended periods of time in as homey and mine as possible.

I'm not painting it, at least not any time soon, because I'll be (hopefully) starting to work soon. The room will stay deep space blue for the time being.

It's not the worst color ever, just not very me.

But I'm not the same me I was before I met him all those years ago.

He's always going to be a part of me.

You don't spend 17 years with someone without that person becoming a permanent piece of you.

Maybe the blue is kind of like that -- that piece of him that stays with me while I'm starting down my own path without him by my side.

Anyway, in addition to trying to carve out my own space in his former room, which is a work in progress, I've been working on getting the kitchen cabinet trim ready to be painted before I paint the walls and the cabinets themselves.

There are four layers of paint on those cabinets. It's taking multiple applications of paint stripper to get it off so I can properly paint the trim, which is my first task.

I want to get the trim done and the new liners put in so I can put what I'm keeping into the cabinets again instead of being a huge mess in my former room. The mess is bothering me, just knowing it's there.

My goal is to get the kitchen completely done before July 18 -- the date of my next meeting with the vocational rehabilitation case manager so I can get a job. He called it the "planning" meeting, since I was accepted into the program.

I'm supposed to send him a résumé, and I'm like "...I haven't worked since early 2008, and my work experience was stocking shelves at Walmart."

My college education in IT is irrelevant because technology has changed so much since 2006 when I graduated.

I'll send him one, though.

Maybe there's some form or something I can plug my information into without putting in a ton of effort for the absolutely pointless résumé.

[itsbeandean]

I've thought about writing this a lot. I can't ever tell if it's coming from a place of happiness or vindication or what. But I feel like if I don't get it out it'll die. I wail all the time about the negative things in my life but everything positive is happening so much and I need to put it somewhere. I need to tuck it away so it's somewhere I can come across in the future and remember.

I talked with her about marriage. We've been talking about marriage. We've got a ring. We've got plans. Just about 6 months together and we know we're the ones for each other. We've known for months. But they were here recently and right before we were falling asleep I told her "y'know. I know really happy couples that just don't get married because of taxes or debt and things like that. I've got debt. Big debt."

and you know what she said?

"Don't be silly. Thats so silly to worry about. We'll figure it out together. That's what marriage is."

I'd been trained to worry. That there was always something. That at any inconvenience I can be left behind. They told me it was silly. They told me not to worry unless they're worrying with me.

And fuck if I've ever been so happy in my life.

I'm moving across the country for this smoking hot enby who loves me and worries with me and has spent hundreds just to see me and I'd never do it any other way. I can't believe I spent so long of my life just stagnant. I can't believe I never strove for the better I deserve. And now I have the better and it's so hard to focus on the fact that it's real and it's now because certainly it can't be, right? There's no way this isn't all going to blow up in my face. Right?

Then I remember us just, riding in the car together. And the thought of the profile of her face makes me smile and I know. That it's real and it's gonna stick. And we're both going to make sure because we belong together and when we're together things just work.

These last few weeks have been maddeningly good. So much so that I don't think anything could get my down if it tried. I got a new job with a new, big, life changing raise. I spent 10 days with my fucking drop dead gorgeous, funny, kind, incredible partner (I've never been told by so many strangers that they like my vibe. I like being a beacon of hope for others. I like being queer in public and having others go 'hey, good for you. Me too." in the most blasé way possible. I like being seen with them. I'm never embarrassed. I'm never scared.) I'm relieved of a debt that would have hung over me into my 60s... I'm leaving. I'm getting the fuck out of dodge.

Thats the bittersweet part, actually. I'm leaving. Going somewhere blue. Somewhere free and unoppressed. But I'm leaving everyone else I love behind which, yes, I've been crying about that. Especially with my family. Especially at night when the zoom call ends and it's just noise videos for me to fall asleep to. But the sadness doesn't outweigh the happy. The joy. The opportunity.

We'll see how I feel when I hug my mom that last time. When I hug my best friends that last time.

The day before my birthday.

Damn, 30 is gonna feel fine.

Anyway I should be working and I'm running out of steam but.

Void, if you're listening just. Take this and disburse it. Take this feeling and pass it around to anyone who needs it. I'm damn near tapped out.

[nancypullen]

Creeping Toward September

Shhhh. The last three days we've woken up to temperatures hovering between 58-60 and I don't want to scare it away. I know it's still August, summer is still spreading her fiery breath around, and we're a solid month away from really pleasant weather, but this sneak peek is wonderful. Our daytime highs still soar to the 80's, but I'll take that cool morning kiss and dream about fall. I haven't posted in a week! We had the sweet grandgirl for three days and had a ball. We returned her Monday afternoon and then I took Tuesday off. I didn't lift a finger. Since then I've been cranking out earrings like my life depends on it. I still need to make cards and if I have time, do some of my altered art watches. I'm working on earrings first because they require more time. First I condition and blend the clay and decide what sort of pattern or look I want, then I roll and cut, and into the oven they go. Once they're baked I do a little sanding to smooth the edges, then they get an acrylic glaze and go into my little UV machine. When they're all pretty and glossy, I drill holes and put them together with jump rings and posts. None of it is hard, but it is a bit time consuming. I am building an inventory though, and that's the goal. My plan for Artisans on the Choptank is to have one display of autumn and Halloween earrings, one display of the local high school colors, and one display of just really FUN earrings - all colors and designs. I've made several pairs in the high school colors, and right now I'm in the thick of the autumn batch.

I'm really digging the gray, gold, and white. I was actually just using up scraps when I made those, but I may make more.

I won't be charging much because I know how imperfect these are. I'm not using high end findings, I'm still a bit clumsy with the whole process, and I'm simply not a perfectionist. If anything has to be exact, I'm not your gal. But for a few bucks, surely the ladies of Caroline County would like some fun earrings. I guess I'll find out. I'm planning to post this sign at my booth.

I may also have a little sign with a "days until Christmas" countdown. It's closer than you think.

So, that's what's keeping me busy. I'm happiest when I'm creating, so it's been a good week. I can't wait to complete the earring plan and get started on the cards. I've roughed out a couple of ideas.

Come on over to my booth and buy a gift for the fancy gal in your life and a card to go with it. One stop shopping! I have the Square thing for my phone so I can swipe a card, I have appropriate displays for my wares, and I'll have this banner on the front of my table.

That's me! I think that since my first foray into the craft fair world is in September, I'll use an orange table cloth and maybe some mini pumpkins with that banner. Keep it simple, but noticeable.

I'm trying not to over invest because this may be a flop. Or I might decide that I hate sitting at a booth all day. That banner was $7, my time is free (seriously, what else am I going to do?), and my supplies are mostly inexpensive. Clay is cheap. I don't want this to become a money pit of a hobby. Hopefully I can sell enough to pay for my spot at the event. Booth space for the day is $50 and it's only four hours! I think that's steep. Maybe I'm naïve.

Aright, enough about that. You've probably fallen asleep while I yammered on about clay earrings. B-O-R-I-N-G. Sorry. Honestly, I can't share a zillion photos of the grandgirl (which is what I want to do) and there's not much else happening around here. The mister is still running far and wide doing his photo stuff. The last two evenings he was at Summerfest. That's Denton's BIG send-off to summer, celebrating harvest as well as sending the kids back to school. They don't start school until after Labor Day here (throwback to my childhood!). Anyway, at Summerfest there's a lot of good music, dancing, food, fireworks, a play area for kids with giant sides and bouncy houses, and so on. I probably should have gone, but I end up attending those sorts of things alone. That's no fun. I figured I'd stay home and use those hours to produce inventory (I was trying to avoid saying earrings again). Last year I tried to enjoy it, but I had horrible sciatica pain and I was still feeling puny from a double bout of covid. I did enjoy the music though!

Heyyyyy, speaking of pain...guess who is living practically pain-free these days? Ol' Grancy has found the perfect recipe for feeling whole again! First, movement. Walking for just 30 minutes every morning and being diligent about my stretches and some core work has made a huge difference. I'd like to get a treadmill and increase my waking time. I used to do 3.5 miles every morning and it set the tone for the rest of my day. That was before my ankle surgery. After the ankle surgery I tried so hard to maintain activity, water aerobics, Jazzercise,etc. I even had a routine before Jazzercise - ibuprofen one hour before class, after class I'd drive home with an ice wrap on my ankle and then elevate it. Stupid, huh? THEN WE MOVED. That move was when I hurt my back and the sciatica stuff started. If you want to know how much true sciatica issues hurt, brawny boxer Mike Tyson uses a wheel chair when his flairs up. So PT, stretches, and walking had reduced my pain by about half. I'm not bragging when I say that I endure pain well. That's just how I'm made. An ER nurse once called me "stoic". But that doesn't mean it's not exhausting. It takes a toll, it robs you of joy. It's no bueno. That's when someone I love and trust told me all about gummies. Let me start by saying I've never smoked pot in my life. I've never had a negative view of it, it just wasn't my thing. I've never been a drinker either, I don't care what anyone else drinks or smokes, it just wasn't for me. Do you, enjoy your life, none of my business. Maryland recently legalized marijuana, like so many other states, and people are becoming more educated about the plant, the products, and the benefits. What I knew could have fit in a teacup. I learned that medical marijuana is often used for chronic pain with great success and no side effects. I cringe at the thought of using prescription meds with a long list of possible and horrifying side effects. I was already living on a steady diet of Tylenol (not good) that only half worked. So when that dear person explained to me what she uses and how, I was intrigued. Fast forward to visiting a dispensary and telling the very helpful person at the counter, "I don't want to get high, but I'm old and I hurt." She said, "Gotcha." Because I am a lightweight with everything from alcohol to cold medicine, I tried one quarter of a gummie to start. One fourth of a CBD/THC gummie and I am a perfectly normal, not high, PAIN-FREE person! I am astounded. I knew that THC is used for people who are suffering with conditions from cancer to Lyme Disease, but I assumed that those patients were trading lucidity for relief. Maybe at higher doses they are, I don't know. Still, better than so many of the alternatives. So this plant, possibly put on Earth just for this purpose, criminalized and stigmatized (with the help of big pharma who wants your money), is the simplest solution of all. Of course, just like alcohol, there are people who abuse it. Alcohol, oxycontin, all sorts of legal things are abused. People are people. I'm just saying that 1/4 of a little gummie candy allows me to move through my day without pain and feel like myself again. No expensive, addictive drug with scary side effects - just a plant. Hallelujah. I may regret sharing that, because plenty of people will judge without researching. I'm okay with it. I know what I know. I'm not a drinker, a smoker, a pill taker, or a whiner. I'll just say that if your state has been smart enough to legalize it, and you have any sort of chronic pain, I'm happy to answer any of your questions about my experience. I'm still learning, but I can tell you that it's been a miracle for me. I'm dancing again! No foggy brain, just relief.

If anyone had told young me that old me would be chewing up pot candy, I'd have called you a damn liar. Old me is wiser, thank goodness. Alright, it's past time for me to get some chores done. I've already cleaned the bathrooms but I definitely need to water a few things outside. A couple of days ago I tidied up the gardens and hacked down about half of the spent sunflowers (because I'm pain free!). I stuck the heads into a staked planter so the yellow finches can keep enjoying them.

Once I finish outside I can get busy painting eyes on these ghosties and giving them some glitter.

Can you tell I don't use my good baking sheets for making earrings? Some eyes, some glitter, and some posts and they'll be ready to go! I'm not going to do very many cutesy earrings - just these ghosts and some pumpkins. I don't want to get too stuck on holidays, I'd rather do seasons. Anywho, wishing you a wonderful Sunday. I hope that yours is as busy or as quiet as you like. Do something that delights you, whether that's a lazy afternoon in a hammock with a book or a deep clean of your space. Take care of yourself, body and soul. It's important. Sending out loads of love. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy