#We hate doing anything with Our mother awake.

[redux-iterum]

Charred Legacy: Chapter Thirty-Nine

(AO3 counterpart here.)

As the patrol trudged through the snow and into the camp’s tunnel entrance, Fireheart dully wondered if he was doomed to always come home with a dead body.

It didn’t take any time at all for them to be noticed. Goldenflower jumped to her feet with a cry of shock, turning the heads of every cat present. A crowd formed almost immediately, barely giving Fireheart room to help lower Speckletail to the ground in the center of camp. Questions rained down on him. He said nothing until the deluge of voices softened a little.

“We were attacked by one of the dogs,” he said, loud and clear and painful. “She saved me.”

The noise fell to a drizzle, now consoling murmurs and grieving breaths. Fireheart stepped back to let everyone nose Speckletail, whispering their goodbyes, blessings and mourning last words.

“I’m glad you’re okay, at least,” Ravenwing said as he came up to his friend and gingerly leaned against him, followed by Greystripe on the same side.

Fireheart didn’t have it in him to say anything but, “I don’t know about ‘okay’.”

Dustpelt crouched at his mother’s head, pressing his forehead against hers. Sandstorm sat beside him, a paw on his back and her usually fiery eyes solemn.

He’s going to hate me for getting his mother killed, Fireheart thought, jaw taut. If I’d just kept up with her, she’d still be here.

Greystripe interrupted his musing by resting his chin on his head—but just as ginger as Ravenwing, like he was afraid to touch Fireheart too firmly. Fireheart was dimly aware that he probably looked awful right now. He didn’t care too much about that.

Cats continued paying their respects, with Whitecloud being the last one. He rested a gentle paw on Speckletail’s shoulder, blinked slowly, and raised his head, looking at Fireheart.

“Is the dog gone?” he asked.

Fireheart gave one nod. “I don’t know where it went, but it didn’t come back for us.”

Whitecloud looked down at Speckletail with a soft sigh, murmuring, “Rest well. We’ll take care of each other in your stead.”

After a stretch of silence, Mousefur spoke up. “Someone needs to tell Bluestar.”

Automatically, Fireheart said, “I’ll do it.” He faintly heard someone questioning him, but he simply turned and walked for the entrance, his tail dragging on the floor.

He found Bluestar awake this time, absentmindedly plucking at a prey-bone with a claw. Her toes had mud caked between them, and her usually-pale claws were spotted dark with the stuff. Fireheart couldn’t help a sigh of grief at the state of the rest of her body.

“Bluestar,” he said, quiet and kindly like he was talking to a kit, “something bad’s happened.”

The skeletal head turned to him, dull eyes blinking blandly. “Oh. Hello. Who are you?”

The blow that question landed on Fireheart’s innards could have made him vomit on the spot. Instead, he stayed dignified. “I’m Fireheart. Your Clanmate.”

“Ah.” She didn’t look like she remembered him any further, but she let the matter drop. “What’s happened, then, Fireheart?”

Does she even remember who was her deputy? “Speckletail died tonight.”

“Speckletail…?” Bluestar frowned childishly, squinting, then perking up. “Ah, my deputy. She’s dead?”

“Yes,” Fireheart said softly. “I thought you might like to come say goodbye.” 

Bluestar said nothing for a long, long moment. She simply stared down at the bone in her claws, first thoughtfully, then blankly.

Fireheart hesitated to broach the next topic on his mind. “We… we also need to decide our next deputy, and I don’t want to rush you, but we should be quick about it.”

Bluestar tilted her head. “Why?”

Because you aren’t fit to make decisions. Because nobody will listen to you. Because we need a leader. “Because the Clan will be very upset without a deputy.”

“Ah.” Bluestar slightly nodded. “Yes. The Clan. Well… who should we make deputy?”

That was not a question Fireheart was prepared to answer. “Do… do you not know?”

Bluestar blinked again, almost stupidly. “Right, yes. Ah… perhaps…”

She hummed, frowning deeper. Abruptly, her face went blank, and she stared at nothing. Fireheart stayed perfectly still, his mind frantically scrambling for any of the cats who could lead.

Don’t deputies need to have mentored an apprentice? Who’s mentored that everyone would listen to? Do half-raised apprentices count? Oh– maybe…

“Well…” he said at last. “There’s Whitecloud.”

Bluestar returned from the blank space in her head, perking up. “Whitecloud. Whitecloud is our new deputy.”

“Oh, uh… well, there’s also—”

Bluestar stood up, legs quivering, and brushed past Fireheart out of her den. Fireheart had to follow her quickly, marveling at the speed someone who was just skin-and-bones could trot.

The crowd had spaced out a little when they entered camp. Everyone looked up in surprise as Bluestar, seeming not to notice Speckletail’s body, went to the meeting stump and clambered up it, turning to face everyone and sitting down heavily as her back legs gave out.

“Speckletail is dead,” she announced, like no one else was aware. “We pray that StarClan… that StarClan accepts her soul and she moves on peacefully.”

Silence, a tense and awkward kind. Cats gave each other apprehensive looks.

Bluestar paused for just long enough that Fireheart nearly went up to her and prompted her to continue before she blurted out, “Whitecloud will be our new deputy.”

Whitecloud blinked, surprised, but he straightened up and gave a solemn nod. “I’m honored, raprem*.”

Bluestar didn’t look down at him. She simply peered around the clearing, eyeing each of her Clanmates with growing confusion. She paused on Brightpaw the longest, head tilted and eyes slightly squinted. Abruptly, she jumped down from the stump, collapsing onto the ground with her unsteady legs sprawling out beneath her. Fireheart ran to her side, but she was already getting up and wobbling past him like he didn’t exist. The Clan watched her go, mute as she disappeared through the tunnel.

Whitecloud was quick; he went to the stump and smoothly leaped up onto it, turning and facing his new charges. His elegant fur fluffed out a bit, just enough to make him look as regal as Bluestar once had. Their eyes, both pale yellow, certainly looked the same. For a moment, Fireheart settled into a vague comfort that he’d felt in the spring and summer after he’d joined the Clans: the comfort of having someone in control who he knew he could trust and rely on.

“Bluestar didn’t speak to me about this,” Whitecloud said, his low and raspy voice somehow echoing in the clearing. “I’m sure you’re aware of that. But I’m pleased to take on the role of deputy to serve you all as well as I can.”

The Clan, in unison, relaxed their postures, their fur settling on their backs and tails.

Whitecloud continued. “If there are any issues or questions that come up, please come speak to me immediately. I ask that you leave Bluestar in peace for now—we’ll decide what to do about her once things have settled down a little and we can have a moment of calm. Until then, I can serve as temporary leader, and we can consider her an elder.”

Fireheart’s stomach twisted on the last word, but the rest of the Clan murmured agreements and relief.

“Thank you, Whitecloud,” someone called, echoed by a few other cats.

Whitecloud bowed his head respectfully. “Let’s say our goodbyes to Speckletail and bring her out to be buried.”

Now he slipped down off of the stump, approaching Speckletail’s body again and sitting by it, gazing down at her with serene sorrow. Fireheart carefully wove around the crowd gathering around her again to step up to Whitecloud’s side.

“Can I help bury her?” he asked.

Whitecloud looked at him with mild surprise.

“Just…” Fireheart swallowed a lump in his throat. “She saved my life, and… and I’d like to pay her back in some way. If it’s not too late for that.”

The deputy’s surprise melted away and he nodded. “Once we’ve said our farewells, we’ll take her.”

It seemed to take no time at all for everyone aside from Mousefur, Dustpelt, Fireheart, and Whitecloud to back away from Speckletail. The remaining cats maneuvered to carry the sturdy body together, walking close enough to each other to have to adjust their paces so their legs moved in tandem. Fireheart stayed silent as Dustpelt directed the others to head to a tree with unused bird nests in its many branches (“She always hunted best here,” he said), and as Mousefur and Whitecloud worked together to dig a big enough hole to contain her. He said nothing until they all stood together around the hole, Speckletail resting inside with a peaceful look despite her broken legs and neck.

“Scoop in a pawful of earth,” Whitecloud instructed, “and let them bear your final words, if you have any.”

There was a slight pause before Mousefur pawed up a lump of soil and pushed it in the hole, her words quiet. “You were a great mentor, Speckletail.”

“And a great mother,” Dustpelt added, copying Mousefur.

“ThunderClan honors you until there are none who witnessed you in life.” Whitecloud’s pawful fell in at her head.

Fireheart felt everyone looking at him expectantly (and with concern), but he had no idea what he could say. It took him a moment to figure out something, and he bit his own tongue at how weak it felt.

Pushing in his soil at her front legs, he murmured, “I’m sorry.”

It was quiet again after that. The cats worked together to fill the hole, Fireheart keeping his head down so he didn’t have to look at anyone and see if they were angry with him. They should be, shouldn’t they? He could’ve just caught up to her, and things would be fine.

Some part of him tried to protest that it was an accident, that she didn’t have to come back for him but chose to. That part quickly wilted and died at the guilt gnawing his innards into mulch and its single growl for silence.

He stared at the ground the entire walk home, dully aware of the earth on his paws and not having the energy to clean it off. There was a mild attempt at conversation around him, but it fell away too. Evidently, everyone was in their own heads at this point.

Somehow, the night passed like nothing had happened. Fireheart slept through the day without a dream, but with guilt coating his mind, his sleep was uneasy. He was the last cat out of the warrior’s den. No one said anything, but he felt their eyes on him. He didn’t notice what prey it was that he ate for breakfast.

As soon as he finished and started grooming himself, Whitecloud jumped on the stump again. The Clan gathered around, ears perked and glances exchanged of curiosity.

“Speckletail is in StarClan by now,” he said, calm and soft as ever. “We can be grateful for that. Unfortunately, she left an apprentice behind who needs someone to continue her lessons.” Whispers of worry faded as soon as he blinked slowly at his Clanmates. “Fortunately, I’ve spoken with her new mentor, who has happily agreed to train her. Aspenpaw, please step forward.”

The pretty little molly must have been alerted before this, because she was already at the front of the crowd and stepped up a bit, tail high and head raised with dignity, ignoring the one-eyed scowl coming from Darkstripe on the edge of the crowd.

“Speckletail was a fine mentor to you, and we are all grateful for her service in raising you as far as she did,” Whitecloud said. “But she’s gone now, and unable to continue your training. With StarClan’s permission for me to use my powers as deputy, I now transfer your training to our matriarch, Goldenflower.”

Aspenpaw brightened immediately, her tail curling over her back. Goldenflower walked out of the crowd and went to stand by her, purring at the delighted look on her new apprentice’s face.

“I entrust her to teach you kindness and fierceness together, and to pass down everything she knows.” Whitecloud gave Aspenpaw a warm look before continuing. “Goldenflower, you have chosen your successor as matriarch, and now we ask you to mentor her with the ferocity and love of a queen, and the wisdom and dedication of the keeper of our bloodlines.”

“I agree wholeheartedly,” Goldenflower said, sounding as proud as if it was her own daughter she was mentoring.

“Then, with StarClan’s blessing, I name you Aspenpaw’s mentor.” Whitecloud waved his tail with muted cheer.

The pair of mollies turned to each other and touched noses, both purring loudly now. Aspenpaw bowed her head with deep admiration, and the Clan called her name like she was a new apprentice: “Aspenpaw! Aspenpaw!” Followed by this were cheers and shouts of congratulations.

“We have a future matriarch at last,” Frostfur said to Willowpelt in delight. “And trained by one of the best ThunderClan’s ever seen.”

“I can’t say I’m surprised,” Teaselfoot added, though speaking to his sister. “This is a good night already.”

Fireheart maneuvered through the crowd to approach his mother and her new apprentice; his heart lightened with happiness at the pure joy emanating from the pair. When he was close enough, they looked over at him.

“Congratulations,” he said to them both. “How do you feel, Aspenpaw?”

Aspenpaw’s grey fur fluffed out like a cloud. “Like I’ve been blessed! I get to stay in camp and take care of kits now!” She ducked her head a little sheepishly. “Honestly, I’ve always really wanted to do this, but I didn’t get to tell Bluestar that before she made me an apprentice. Speckletail was nice, but… I dunno, I never really enjoyed hunting and fighting practice.”

“You’ll be having plenty of fighting practice, either way,” Goldenflower said in a jokingly chiding way, touching her nose to her apprentice’s forehead. “We need you to be as strong as you can be to protect the mothers and their children that will come along in your lifetime.” Her golden eyes sparkled. “But we’ll get to do it in camp as much as you like, within eye view of the kits.”

Aspenpaw purred. “That sounds fine to me.”

Fireheart regarded the mollies affectionately, verbally stepping out of their conversation as it turned to bloodlines and genetics. The very air of camp radiated with warmth and contentment—not just from them, from seemingly everyone and everywhere. There was a tinge of safety, like the dogs didn’t exist and no one had died the night before.

Fireheart turned and walked away, glancing back once to see Aspenpaw’s tail wagging in excitement and Goldenflower beaming at her.

Maybe life isn’t all that awful after all, he thought, and went to find his apprentice.

*”Raprem”: aunt.

[femmefaggot]

Someone remind Us to ask what the odd bone folder-esque tools they use to torture scar tissue are.

[coldfanbou]

Kinkcember Day 16: NTR...sort of

Alrighty, here we go with Momo and Sana. Sidenote: I did make changes to it and also stepcest again; y'all snuck it in this time. Also it's hard to classify this one because it is in a gray area.

Length 2.1K

Momo X M reader X Sana

You gather in the dining room with your foster parents and foster siblings, ready to hear the news they were so excited to give. “Alright, everyone! The news your mother and I have to share is that we have a great business opportunity. We’ll have to travel abroad for a few weeks, so we need you all to watch the house.” You look around at your foster siblings, Momo and Sana.  You didn’t trust them to help watch the place at all. You knew them, having grown up in foster care together. They would make a mess the first chance they got. They had been spoiled ever since you all got lumped together with your foster parents. Despite none of you being related, you got along fairly well; you saw each other as family.

“Hey, Mom, Dad. I’m not so sure this is a good idea.” You tell them, looking at your older sisters.

“Oh, come on, it’ll be fine!” Sana whines, slapping your shoulder. She turns to your mom and smiles, “You can count on us to take care of the home, right, Momo?”

“Hm? Oh yeah! We’ll take good care of it and our little brother.” Momo says, pinching your cheek.

As your parents steer the conversation back to their trip, you knock her hand away. “Well, we trust you’ll be able to avoid killing each other while we’re gone. We’ll be leaving tomorrow morning.” The conversation dwindles after your parents leave the room.

Momo and Sana turn to you, “We’re going to have so much fun together!”

“Actually, I was going to go out with someone, so I might be gone a couple of days.” The pair quiet down, looking at you seriously.

“Who are you going to see?” Momo asks, taking a small step forward.

“Just some girl I’ve been talking to.” You reply. Sana and Momo gulp before looking at each other.

“Oh, well, we’ll just have to plan something then,” Sana says, glancing at Momo. The pair leave the room quickly, heading up to Sana’s bedroom. After your parents leave, the three of you spend time together laughing and joking.

All seemed to be going well. On the third day in the house, though, Momo sneaks into your room, climbing onto your bed. “Don’t hate us; we need to do this. You’re my sweet little brother; we can’t hand you over to anyone.” She whispers as she ties your arms and legs to the bed posts. She strips you of your pants and underwear as you sleep and positions herself between your legs.

You groan as you open your eyes; something is touching you. As you lean up, you see Momo running her lips along your cock. Seeing you’re awake, she flashes you a smile, “Good morning,” Momo presses her lips against the head of your cock, “Mwah.”

“Momo! What are you doing?” You try to stop her but realize quickly your hands are tied to the bed. You struggle, trying to move her off you, but Momo holds you down.

“Can’t you see?” She replies, swallowing the tip of your cock. You throw your head back and groan as you feel her tongue swirl around your cock. “Just let your big sister do what she does best.” Momo presses herself to the base of your cock; her tongue slips out from between her lips and laps at your balls before she pulls back, stroking your shaft slowly as she moves down and kisses your balls. She grasps them with her other hand, cupping them as her hand moves along your shaft. “They’re so big; you must be so pent up. Don’t worry, we’ll help you let it all out.” Momo takes you into her mouth again; she bobs her head and gives your balls gentle squeezes as she coaxes precum out of your cock.

You’re unable to say anything as Momo flicks the tip with her tongue, smiling as she feels you squirm under her. “Momo,” you grunt as you feel your climax approaching.

“Just relax and cum when you need to,” she says, moving your cock into the back of her throat the second. Momo’s throat was so warm; part of you wanted to stay there forever.

“We can’t do this!” You shout at her. Pulling back, Momo feels your cock throb against her tongue. She smirked to herself and rubbed her head against the inside of her cheek, watching her squirm as she tried to hold back. You can’t hold it any longer; you flood Momo’s mouth with your cum. She wraps her lips tightly around your shaft, letting every drop flow right onto her tongue. Momo greedily sucks it down, enjoying every drop of the salty liquid. As you finish cumming, you feel her tongue teasingly swirl around the tip one final time before she pops you out of her mouth. Momo grabs your shaft, keeping you hard by moving her hand along your shaft.

The door opens, and you see Sana walking in. She’s wearing lingerie, lacy and white. What grabs your attention first is the fact you can see everything. The bra doesn’t cover her nipples, a small slit in the fabric allows it to poke out. As you look downward, her panties are much the same, a slit in the middle showing you her pink cunt. “Good Morning, little brother,” she chirps.

“What’s this about?”

The pair check your bindings before getting on either side of you; they run their fingers along your chest. “We just want to help you,” Sana whispers before kissing your cheek. “We don’t want to see you with any other girl. We’re more than enough for you. We’ll be your girlfriends from now on.” Sana turns your head and plants her lips on yours before Momo does the same thing.

“We’ll make sure you never want to be with another girl,” Momo whispers, turning your head to face her. Sana brings a bottle out while you aren’t looking, taking a quick drink but keeping the liquid in her mouth. Sana climbs on top of you, grinding on your cock, her moans fluttering as she leans down and kisses you. She forces her tongue into your mouth, sharing the drink with you. You’re forced to drink it. Once you have, Sana pulls back, a shining smile on her face as Momo hands her the bottle, and she takes another drink for herself. She wipes her mouth and continues to grind against you, coating your cock in her juices.  “That’ll help us get in the mood.” She says calmly as she raises herself. Momo aligns your cock with Sana’s entrance.

“Sana, don’t do this; you can still stop,” you shout, struggling against your bindings.

“Now we’ll be together,” She says before lowering herself onto your cock. You feel her warm walls slip around you. You groan loudly; Sana is tight, her walls clinging to you as she takes more of you inside. Sana places her hands on your chest, moaning as she feels your cock stretching her cunt. “Oh, you’re so big,” she groans, finally settling herself on your body. She rocks her hips back and forth, reveling in the feeling of your cock inside her. Your mind becomes cloudy from the drink; the pleasure you felt was like nothing else. You began wanting more; your cock twitched inside her. “I’m glad you’ve come around,” Sana giggles, noticing the movement. She begins bouncing on your cock, moaning as she feels your hands squeeze her waist.  Your body begins reacting to Sana’s; you give slight thrusts as she bounces on your cock. You watch her breasts bounce as she rides you.

Momo steals your attention, though; she turns your head and plants her lips on yours. You feel her weighty breasts rub against your arm. You begin to lose yourself, the pleasure overwhelming any sense of reason. “Don’t leave me out,” Momo whispers as she moves, placing your head between her legs. You stare at her cunt and feel a hunger within you. As Momo lowers herself, you lap at her cunt, moving your tongue over her folds and against her clit. She moans loudly, the sudden rush making her heart skip a beat. Sana smiles and reaches over to Momo, grabbing her breasts and squeezing them between her between her fingers. Momo’s moans overtake Sana’s, filling the room.

It didn’t last long, though, as you begin thrusting properly into Sana, ramming yourself against her womb as she bounces on your cock. The women’s moans mix as you pleasure them. Momo leans in and grabs Sana’s head, pulling her close and kissing the younger woman. Sana is surprised at first but soon falls deeper into it. The women explore each other’s bodies, their hands running from their waist to their breasts. Sana’s heart is filled with joy as she finds her connection with the two of you. She’s reaching her orgasm as she imagines what life will be like after. Momo’s teasing is what sends her over the edge. The older woman twists Sana’s nipples and makes her cum on your cock.

Sana plants herself firmly on you; her walls clamp down on you, making you cum too. Sana whines as she feels your cum flow inside her, filling her pussy. She’s forced to lean on Momo as orgasmic bliss washes over her. “I’m so full,” she mumbles before pressing herself against Momo’s tits. The older woman runs her hand through Sana’s hair, letting her calm down.

“It’s my turn, Sana,” Momo tells the younger woman before kissing her again. Sana complies and lifts herself off your cock. Your cum flows out of her cunt almost immediately; Sana smiles as she sees it. She rests by your side while Momo takes her place. The older woman rubs your cum-coated cock between her folds before sinking onto it. She groans happily as you fill her pussy. “Oh, that’s it. Fill me up.” Momo reaches for her breast, groping it as she begins riding you. You watch the heavy mounds shake and bounce as she takes your cock with ease.

“Just look at her,” Sana says quietly, placing her head on your shoulder. “There’s no one else like her. You understand why we had to do this, right? We’re a family; we should always be together.” Sana runs her finger around your nipple as she gives you a peck on the cheek. “Momo and I will make sure we have the perfect bodies for you so you never have to look anywhere else. You’ll be our boyfriend, our husband.”

You struggle to focus on Sana’s words as Momo continues to ride you, her walls flexing and relaxing around your cock. Each time she takes your cock in, you moan; Momo is too skilled for you to think about anything else.  Sana turns your head and kisses you, feeding you more of her drink. Your resistance had faded long ago. You accept the drink and continue to kiss Sana, playing with her tongue as she holds you close. “We love you, I love you,” Sana says quietly. She turns your head, making you look at Momo. The look of bliss on her face caught your eye. “Look at what you’re doing to Momo; see how much she loves you?” Momo was riding you quickly; she had her hands on your legs as she leaned back and slammed herself onto your cock.

“I want your cum too,” She groans. Momo could feel your cock begin to throb. She was excited and moved quickly, driving your cock against her womb. Her moans became louder and louder. “I want my little brother’s cum, please give it to me.” She cried out, leaning forward and kissing you as she slammed herself down. You both cum; while you’re coated in her nectar, Momo feels her cunt be flooded by your semen. Her body shivers as she embraces the warmth moving inside her. Momo rests against your body, her nipples rubbing against your chest as she takes deep breaths. “I love you,” she says softly, cupping your cheek and kissing you again.

The next few hours are spent with the women taking turns riding you, draining you of your cum. After a few rounds, they untied you, and you began taking advantage of them. You fucked both women until you were all exhausted; they shared your cock, never fighting as you took turns using them, filling their pussies with your cum over and over again. Something about that day changed you; you accepted Sana and Momo just as they wanted.

The following morning you woke up with Sana on your left and Momo on your right, your hand on their bruised asses as they stroked your cock together. “Good Morning,” They moaned as you groped them. “Are you ready for another day?”

[lina-lovebug]

I'd Fight The Devil

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, FINALE

Background: The future heir of Hell is on the way! Alastor has his doubts about being a good father and Lucifer is losing his mind.

_ _ _

(Y/N) Morningstar is due any day now!

That dreaded due date was getting closer and closer and honestly, Alastor didn't know how to handle it.

Of course, he was happy when he found out that his beloved was pregnant. From what he knew, sinners couldn't reproduce! But from a brief (while crying) explanation from Lucifer, (Y/N) is extremely fertile and this could continue happening or just be a one time thing.

Honestly, it broke Alastor seeing her miserable. Her swollen hoofs, going days without sleep because of their spawn kicking up a storm, and not to mention the crying. It didn't bother him that she became much needier, as he was happy to give her all the hoof rubs and cravings she desired.

Alastor felt bad because he hears her confide in Charlie, "honestly, I'm not sure I want to do this again. It feels like my body doesn't belong to me."

He's heard that some pregnant women feel that way, but the way her voice broke when she said it.

He'd never touch her again if she asked.

"Need anything, mon cher?" Alastor asked as she waddled to the bathroom.

"No, but thank you," She smiled. He had been so attentive and it made this pregnancy a bit more enjoyable.

(Y/N) hated herself. Not because she hated their child, no, but because she hated how she felt. She hated that she wasn't enjoying her pregnancy like so many other mothers, and hated how she felt like a prisoner in her own body.

But today: she'd be free.

"ALASTOR!"

A scream awoke the half asleep Radio Demon and he instantly appeared by her side, "what happened?! Are you okay?!"

"I think my water broke last nigh-ah! I'm having contractions!"

The baby was coming.

THE FUCKING BABY WAS COMING.

He instantly got them to the hospital, all while waking up the entire hotel. Vaggie shook Charlie awake, Husker threw a bottle at Angel Dust, and Niffty was frantically killing any bug she saw.

"MY BABY! WHERE'S MY LITTLE PUMPKIN?!"

Lucifer was panicking more than Alastor.

"Oh, my sweet pumpkin!" Lucifer ran to her side as she groaned at the contractions, her horns peaking in and out every time pain lashed through her body.

"Dad, it hurts."

"Where are the scrubs?! I need-!"

"Dad, isn't it the father who's supposed to get scrubs?" Charlie questioned nervously.

"But my baby needs me!"

"What I need is everyone to get the fuck out!" (Y/N) screamed, completely overwhelmed by all of it. Charlie dragged their dad out of the room, and Alastor stayed.

"I'm sorry," She began to cry, feeling horrible about yelling at him.

"You have nothing to apologize for, my sweet girl," His radio voice broke momentarily as he held her hand, "all this pain will be over and we can finally hold our child."

"I already feel like such a bad mom," She cried, "I'm supposed to love being pregnant, but I fucking hate it."

His heart ached for his sweet love. She was in constant pain but hated herself for it.

"I'd never lay another hand on you if it meant you'd never feel like this again," He confessed.

"I'll cut off anyone's hands who touch you."

She smiled at that, "I think. . .I think I'm done after this little one. Definitely need to find out if I can stop being so fertile."

But just as things were calming down, her hand tightened his, and another wave of contractions came. It continued like this for an hour, and with a few more pushes, their child was born.

And even though Lucifer tried breaking into the room, he kept away for a little while longer.

"It's a girl?" Alastor asked.

"Yes. Congratulations!"

"Oh, she's so precious," (Y/N) looked at their daughter, now resting in her arms. She had two small deer horns poking out of her soft head, a ruffle of red hair to go along with it.

"I will give you all the demon meat you desire," Alastor felt satisfied when he looked at his daughter, and felt a pang of happiness within him.

"I think I know what her name is, Alastor," she had been snooping around and found a name from his past, which would make her future husband all the more joyful.

"And what's that, my dear?"

"Manon," His smile faltered.

It was his mother's name.

He looked upon his daughter as she handed him over, her eyes opening to see the Radio Demon - her father.

"It's perfect," He smiled.

"Manon Morningstar."

When Alastor looked at her, all his doubts faded. He remembered how his mother doted on him, loving him and always being his number one supporter and just new that he would do the same for her.

"Can we come in?" Charlie asked carefully with Lucifer peaking in.

(Y/N) nodded and in came Vaggie, Charlie and Lucifer. Lucifer held two giant bouquets of roses, setting them on a table.

"Oh, she's adorable!" Charlie grinned.

"Would you like to hold her?" (Y/N) asked, and her sister happily accepted. The small demon wasn't fussy about being in her arms, just staring with curious eyes.

"Vaggie?"

Her eyes widened, "oh? Me? Uh, I mean, I don't know, I've never-"

"You'll be fine," before she could contest any further, Vaggie was holding Manon. Manon babbled at her, spit dribbling from her mouth as her hand reached up and pulled her hair.

"Okay! My turn!" Lucifer snatched his granddaughter away, staring at the baby with a happy-go-lucky smile.

"Oh you're so precious! I think you'll love duck's! In fact, it's your first toy," He squeaked a small rubber duck with wings in her face, and she began to cry.

"No, no, no, no! Please don't hate me! I love you!"

"I think mommy needs some rest, and Manon is hungry," Alastor scooped back his daughter, and Vaggie dragged Lucifer out as he cried over the fact that he is convinced his granddaughter hates him.

"She's perfect," (Y/N) sighed as she begun to feed upon her, and Alastor gave them both a kiss on their foreheads.

"You're perfect."

[themusingsofacurlyhairednerd]

In Love and War (8)

Summary: The aftermath of all her family secrets might be more chaotic than Reader bargained for when her powers suddenly start to flare. Good thing her Warlord has more than a few ideas how to help navigate it ;)

Content Warnings: Depressive thoughts, Reader mentions wanting to die; Suggestiveness, Slight SMUT; Canon Typical Violence

Author's Note: To make up for the last chapter being so short, please enjoy that flirty little bastard being a menace! ;)

Chapter 7/Masterlist

---------------

I don’t sleep at all that night. I lay there, Rhysand sleeping soundly beside me, exhausted from the events of the last couple of days. He’d barely kept his eyes open long enough to eat. I’d barely managed to choke down a few bites myself. The guilt has my stomach in a perpetual knot. I’ve dedicated so much of my life to hating this male, only to be wrong about all of it, and now I’m in too deep to even do anything about it.  I can’t go home. There is no home to go back to. My family slaughtered an innocent mother and daughter. Rhys received their heads in boxes like some sort of twisted gift. They were supposed to be allies and my father betrayed them in the worst possible way. He paid for it with his life, with my mother’s life; it should have been the end of it. Tamlin was given a mercy and he should have taken it. He should have abandoned my father’s teachings and become a better lord, a better man. Instead, he perpetuated the cycle of abuse and suffering. He encouraged me to hate these people, to covet everything they had as if they were undeserving of it. All these years I loathed our miserable existence thinking the Mother hated us and was being unjust in giving these people all these things that we were never allowed. But we deserved it! We were the bad guys all along.

I roll over onto my side to look at him. He still sleeps in his armor, knife still strapped to his thigh, sword resting against the tent pole only a foot away. He’s ready to be up and fighting in a moment's notice. Our father’s were so similar, and yet, he turned out to be merciful and kind and somehow, so startlingly gentle that I often forget he’s still capable of intense prowess. He is the only male I’ve ever truly felt comfortable with, because that gentleness came as a response to the violence he’d seen, not because that violence was never there. He’d felt the cold sting of it, and chose to be something gentle instead of returning it.

And here I am, with all that righteous anger that had kept me warm on my coldest days, choosing to return all the violence that had been inflicted on me onto others. Just as Tamlin did. Just as my father did. 

And looking at it I don’t want to be him. He ruined my mother! He took something good and kind and locked it away and used her for his own ends! I don’t even know if he ever really loved her. Why would you keep the things you love in a cage?

I sit up abruptly. Maybe he was as scared of being alone as I am. 

I can’t sit in this tent anymore! I can’t-

Rhysand jolts awake as soon as I move, hand twitching for his knife, shadows swirling off his body in response to what his sleep muddled mind thinks is a threat. “What’s wrong?”

I put a hand on his chest, spinning onto my knees so I can kiss his forehead. “Nothing, I just need to relieve myself.”

He lets me push him down onto the mat, body relaxing and pliant beneath my touch. “You sure?”

“Positive.” If he tried to follow me out now I think I really might explode. My stomach feels like it's ripping itself apart. My bones ache, my skin feels like it's stretched too tight over them. There is too much nervous energy bound inside my body. I just need to get out and stretch my legs; get some fresh air and clear my head. I will be fine if I can clear my head.

“Take your knife,” he says, eyes already drifting shut again. 

I strap it to my thigh as I slip from the tent, gulping down lungfuls of crisp, mountain air as I go. I just need to clear my head. Is finding a way to survive this fucked up world really me acting like my father? I’ve never killed innocent people. I’ve never withheld necessities or lorded my power over people. I’m just not being honest about my intentions. It’s shitty. I’m using a mating bond I’m still not wholly sure is real as a means to getting food and shelter and, hopefully, a decent helping of mind blowing sex.

Cauldron that sounds really, really fucked up.

But how am I supposed to tell him? Hey, I know that you really don’t like my family and they’ve done nothing but screw you over but I also accepted your offer to try and ruin your life and take all of your land and kinda only just changed my mind about it yesterday. And it would be really super cool if you just let that slide because I have nowhere else to go.

That would go over soooooo well. He’d be totally fine with it! 

I ground my palms into my eyes as I walk behind a couple trees to at least make it look like I really did need to go pee. There are men on guard duty, no doubt someone is going to see me wandering around camp.

My brain feels like it’s being squeezed by my skull. There has to be a way to go about this that doesn’t get me tossed out into the coming snow, while also not lying so deeply about it. I do care about him. It was a lie at first but now…

I put my back against the tree and slide down until I’m sitting on the rocky ground, head still in my hands. I don’t know if he’s my mate. There’s something there, I feel it pulling at me, even now, but I can’t give it a name. And I want to be here. Not just because of the story he’d told yesterday. When Lucien tried to get me to leave, I really didn’t want to go back with him. But how am I supposed to live with the truth? How am I supposed to look at him and see that he wants this so much more than I do, despite everything?

Actually, why does he want this, despite everything? He’d asked me why I stayed. I never asked him why he brought me here. There’s certainly enough bad blood between our families to make even a mate hesitate to bring me in.

I lean back against the tree, the rough scrape of the bark against my aching skin a relief. My body feels so strange, being around Rhysand’s magic has made it feel like there’s something beneath my skin.

Tomorrow, in the morning, I will ask him why he still brought me back. Then I will decide what to do. 

------

He certainly doesn’t make asking him easy. Rhys wakes me up with his lips on my throat, along the fading marks he’d left a couple days before,  trailing them down as his hands hike up my sweater. The heat of him against the early morning chill has my resolve slipping, all my plans slipping through my fingers as he runs his tongue over my peaked nipples.

I can’t think past the roaring in my ears; the ache in my body for more, more, more. There is nothing and no one but him as he trails lower, each kiss more forceful than the last as he heads for the waistband of my pants.

“Rhys,” I moan, voice still thick with sleep, even as my body arches under him. I want him everywhere. I need him everywhere. The stirring feeling beneath my skin is worse today, only quelled by the trail of his hands on my body. For once, my racing thoughts are quiet. If only we could stay like this. 

“Hmmm,” he hums into my stomach, just beneath my navel. There’s a bit of stubble along his jaw, the scrape of it against my oversensitive skin makes my eyes roll back into my head. “Did you want something, mate?”

“You,” I groan, hand reaching out to tangle in his hair to try and move him where I need him. 

He grins, I can feel the upturn of his lips against my stomach, but he refuses to budge. Just nips at the skin visible above my waistline. “You have me.”

Bastard! My whole body trembles beneath him. I can’t get a breath down fast enough. I need him everywhere all at once. “Need you inside me,” I bite out.

He simply hums again, hands tugging at my waistband with an inhumane slowness that makes me feel like I’m going to burst out of my skin. I use the hand not in his hair to grip the mat, trying to ground myself, trying to find some semblance of control again. I’m gripping so tight my bones ache, fingers feeling like they’re breaking. There’s a tearing sound, a pricking sensation in my palm and then a gush of something wet across my hand. 

Even he looks up at that, and when I turn to look, I’m more than a little surprised to find that I’ve grown claws, and I’ve just tore them right through my hand!

“Shit!” He’s gone from between my legs in an instant, all the heat in my body leaving with him. 

I can’t unfurl my hand. Can’t retract the claws, they’re stuck through my palm with my fist closed around it. I’ve only ever grown them in anger, how the hell had I done it now?

Rhysand comes back with a towel as I manage to sit up. “I thought you smelled different this morning,” he muses.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I hiss.

“Our magic can be protective. It can hide itself if it doesn’t feel safe. I don’t think you were born with too little, I think you were born with too much.” His fingers massage my wrist, trying to find the right pressure points to help me unclench my fist. “I think that it buried itself inside you to keep you safe. And I think, now that you’re here, it’s manifesting, and like the wards, it has its own scent.”

Fan-fucking-tastic!

“Well I’d like it to un-manifest,” I hiss. “I was doing just fine without it!” There’s blood dripping through the towel, if anything it feels like my claws are burrowing deeper into my palm. I can practically feel them trying to tear right through the back of my hand.

He can’t seem to find the right spot and trying to pry my fingers out of my palm is a no go. He frowns, lifting the towel for a better look. “I’m gonna try something.”

I’m prepared for a blow from his own magic, some form of glittering starlight or shadowy darkness, I am not prepared for him to kiss me again. The sound I make in surprise is somewhere between a growl and a gasp because what the hell is he doing? But even though my head is struggling to catch up, my body is not. On instinct, I lean back to allow him better access, his tongue slipping behind my teeth. The rolling feeling beneath my skin lessens, the tightness in my palm slowly releasing. I thread my functioning hand through his hair as my body gives what I can only describe as a sigh of relief. A moment later, the claws retract and I can finally unfurl my fist.

“Flair ups can be heavily tied to your emotions,” he says, lips barely off mine. “Probably wasn’t the best idea to tease you in the middle of one.” 

It takes him all of thirty seconds to find some rags and tie up my hand, even though the blood flow is already lessening. All I can do is stare at it while he does it. This is certainly a new and unwelcome development to this whole mess.

“Is that going to keep happening?”

Azriel pops his head into our tent, unannounced as usual. “Are you two done in here or what? I, personally, cannot live with Cassian if he beats us around the mountain.”

“We’ll be right there,” Rhysand huffs.

“I’m seeing a trend with him,” I mutter. 

He smirks, “It’s one of Azriel’s many charms.” 

He helps me to my feet, holding onto me like he thinks something else might just burst out of my skin. Truth be told, I can still feel something shifting around, a prowling animal begging to be released from its cage. I’d thought it was my unease this whole time, but maybe it’s worse than that. 

“We don’t know how deep your power well is,” Rhysand says. “And if it’s never fully manifested…” He blows out a breath. “When mine first started manifesting, I shredded a whole section of camp with starlight. There was a whole twenty-four hour period where my shadows blocked out the sun. And you’re my equal so, yes I think that will keep happening.”

Cauldron boil me!

“As long as you remain calm, it shouldn’t be too bad.”

“I should think you would know better than to tell a female to be calm, Rhysand.”

He grins, “Well you can also spend the day making out with me, since that seems to be such a lovely little distraction with you.”

I go to hiss an insult at him but the only thing that comes out is an actual, animal-like growl. I clamp a hand over my mouth in embarrassment while he bursts out laughing. 

“This is going to be fun!” He declares.

I am not at all inclined to agree.

----

I only manage to ride with him for an hour or two before the pull of his magic makes my skin start to itch. He was right about magic having a scent. Half way through the hour I suddenly become very aware of the jasmine scent of him. It’s everywhere. In every breath. Every brush of his chest against my back, every movement of his hands along the reins. My body is hyper aware of every place we do and don’t touch.

“Getting all worked up again, aren’t we?” He purrs in my ear.

My jaw feels like it’s snapping as a set of fangs tear through my gums, spurting blood into my mouth. Somehow his magic is the catalyst for my transformation and the balm all in one. I can’t be near him and I can’t be away from him, as I soon learn. When I jump off the horse and declare I’m going to walk beside him, my claws return, in both hands this time. At least they shoot out my nail beds and not my knuckles like Tamlin’s.

The thought of him makes another growl rumble through my chest and something that feels suspiciously like fur sprouts from the back of my neck.

“Wouldn’t recommend,” Rhysand warns.

The itchiness of my skin is even worse on the ground. I feel the wards tugging at me like I’ve been tied to the glittering magic that builds them with a string.  The jasmine and overripe fruit scent of them is enough to make my nose crinkle. Apparently the transformation heightens my senses as well.

“I’m gonna tear off my skin,” I snarl, fidgeting with my collar. Why is it so itchy? Is it supposed to be like this?

He slows his mount to keep pace with me and I do not miss the grumbled complaints of the males behind us. My ears twitch every time one of them speaks, the sound sometimes like a shout and others like a far off echo.

“Breathe,” he says gently. “The more worked up you get, the worse it will be until we can find a way to safely expel it.”

I draw a shaky breath, then another. 

“Good girl.”

A shiver works its way up my spine at that.

“Now come here,” he leans so far out of the saddle he’s only holding on with his thighs, and my first thought is how we can get this little caravan to pause so I can be the one beneath him. He gets an arm around my waist and hauls me back up onto the horse and damn if that’s not the hottest thing I’ve ever seen a male do!

“Let’s get these wards up-” I’m hyper-aware how every word rumbles through his chest, the way his body shifts on the horse. “-And we’ll find a place to camp soon enough, then you and I can work on this.”

“Make it stop,” I gently beg. “I don’t want it!” The itch beneath my skin is becoming unbearable! My claws scratch up my arms, tearing up my sweater. 

His free hand covers mine, intertwining our fingers, even as the horse begins to move. “Focus on me.”

I focus my attention on the way his body molds against mine. The way the leather of his glove slides over the back of my hand. I let my eyes drift shut, focusing on the brush of his chest against mine, the swaying motion of his hips as the horse moves over the rocky terrain. It’s not enough. Not like the feel of his lips on mine had been this morning. As if he knows it, he drops his head against my shoulder, nose brushing over the exposed skin of my throat. 

“I’m right here,” he continues. “Focus on me, just like you did this morning.”

This morning there had been a lot less clothes between us. 

“Breathe for me.”

It is a physical effort to draw a deep enough breath in; another to pull my claws away from my itching skin. He settles our joined hands against my stomach. 

“Again.”

I manage to do what I am told, just barely. 

“Good. Just like that.” His voice makes a shiver run down my spine as my mind spins with all the other things I want him to talk me through. I think I could do just about anything if he explained it to me in that rich, husky voice he was using in my ear. “Part of learning to control it is finding your center. Find a safe mental space to retreat to.”

“Like what?” There are few places in the world I have ever felt safe. Thinking about how I used to sit in the rocking chair with my mother and listen to her stories only fills me with pain now. Or perhaps a couple weeks ago I might have thought about all those summers I spent at the creek with Lucien, but now it only makes the thing beneath my skin rumble and shake like there’s some sort of animal that lives caged beneath my ribs and is trying desperately to break free. What makes me feel safe?

“A good memory, a happy time,” he lists. 

I have nothing. My eyes start to water and my throat starts to close, talons growing longer and sharper at my fingertips. I feel the give of my leather chest-piece beneath them. Everything good in my life has been a lie! Everyone that was supposed to protect me only ever hurt me in the end. None of it was ever real.

And this, this thing that could be something, that could be real, I had ruined it. I have to lie to keep it. I have to pretend that I had every right to hurt him, when it was really the other way around. The only person who had ever told me the truth, who could see me for what I was, and I had ruined any chance of it being real before it had even had the chance to start.

A sob slips out of me and with it, the tree we pass erupts in a flurry of leaves and twisting, screaming bark that makes the horse rear. The earth rumbles, random cracks splitting in the rock face, gnarled vines crawling out of them like tentacled monsters. The itching in my skin won’t stop! The more I try to trap it the more the world around us screams in protest. 

“Breathe, Y/N,” Rhysand orders in my ear. “You have to breathe.”

“I can’t!” I choke out. 

He slides his hand out of mine and brings it up against the side of my temple. It feels like a shadow unfurling from his fingertips, but the brush of it is not against my face, but inside my skull. Darkness clouds my vision from the inside out. It feels as if my brain is being emptied, piece by piece with shadows until there is nothing inside my mind but him. 

“Breathe,” he commands, the voice of a Warlord. “Now.”

I choke on each breath. 

“You are safe, Y/N,” he says, gentler. There is nothing in the world but the two of us in this dark little bubble. Nothing but the press of night chilled jasmine and calming, all consuming night. From somewhere far off, I hear music on the wind, the swell of stringed instruments pulling my attention away from the itch running beneath my skin.

“Why is this happening?” My body feels so impossibly small, yet like it’s being stretched beyond its capacity, my bones trying to tear through the confines of my skin all the same.

“Our powers can very easily get tangled with our emotions,” he explains, the hand on my temple drawing shapes into my skin. Somehow, after looking at the stitches in the tent walls, I know he’s spelling something out in Illyrian, but I’ll never know what. “The last twenty-four hours have been a lot for you, I’m sure.”

There is no room to think about it in this headspace, no twisted memories to plague me, only the music and the faint twinkle of stars for company. I let myself fall into it, let it swallow me and fill me until I feel disconnected from the pulling of my skin.

“I don’t want this power,” I whisper into the darkness.

The darkness caresses me, wraps itself around me as surely as his arm around my waist. “I know, but we don’t get a say in what we’re given, only what we do with it.”

When have I ever truly had a say in anything?

“What if I hurt somebody?” What if I am just as bad as my father in both intentions and power? If I am capable of plotting to ruin someone’s life based on a lie, how much more capable am I of turning these claws on someone else? Maybe power is passed from my mother, but that will never change the fact that I now carry the same weapons that were used to scar me, and Rhys, and probably his mother and sister. 

“You won’t,” he assures. “I’ll be right here to teach you. You can control it.”

He has far more faith in me than he should.

----

Once we’ve stopped for the night and camp is set up, Rhysand takes me by the hand and leads me out into the empty, grassy plains beneath the mountain. The knee-high yellow blades are brittle this time of year, cracking under our boots as we walk until only the smoke from the campfires pinpoints where we left the others. We’re far enough away that I won’t hurt anyone if I lose control again.

Shame flushes my cheeks. I’ve always prided myself on being the calm one of the family; always able to keep my emotions shoved deep down beneath the surface to keep them from getting the better of me. I thought I was good at it. I was wrong. It’s only been the constant brush of Rhysand’s shadows against my mind all afternoon that have kept me from tearing everything I touch to shreds. Even now, my hands ache from often my new claws have sprung and retracted from my fingertips.

I must feel about as awful as Rhysand looks. The circles under his eyes have not lessened in the slightest, and every once in a while I’ll see him start to sway, like it’s an effort to stay on his feet. The scent of his magic has lessened, the night blooming jasmine fading behind the citrus and salty scent of him. He shouldn’t be out here with me, he should be resting, recharging his own magic so he can be prepared for more warding tomorrow. According to Azriel and the scouts’ reports, we should meet up with Cassian and Mor’s group by this time tomorrow and Rhysand will need all his energy to ensure both ends of the wards are fully meshed together. 

We stop once we’re cushioned between two large hills, nothing but the chirp of crickets and the stars to keep us company. The Mountain looms dark and shadowy beneath the small sliver of the moon. 

“This looks like a good place,” he says as he finally releases my hand.

I keep my lower lip between my teeth, hands shaking at my sides. I don’t want to do this! Entertaining the idea that I have powers to train and use is foolish. I don’t need to learn to use them; I need to learn to shove them back down into the darkest parts of me where they can’t hurt anybody. 

“Let’s start with something simple,” he suggests. “Tell me where you feel your power the most.”

My hand comes up to poke between my rib cage, where the stirring and itchy feeling is the most concentrated. “Feels like something is trying to break out of my skin,” I say softly.

“The claws and the fangs could be a beast form,” he muses. “Or it could just be some shape-shifting powers you inherited from your father?”

The mention of that bastard makes the stirring in my chest feel like a tidal wave, raw energy crackling so hard and fast through my veins that I feel it crest out my fingertips. The grass around me withers and dies, the ground beneath it crackling and rumbling with what feels like the early stages of an earthquake. I can’t have powers like my fathers!

There is no shortage of pity in those violet eyes and I press my palms into my eyes with a groan. I can’t do this! It needs to stop! I need to bury it now before it runs away with me; while I still have some control over it. Because if it goes any further than this…

Maybe Tamlin was right to send me away. Maybe he did know about my powers and that was why he got rid of me. I couldn’t hurt anybody if I was alone in the woods.

Rhysands shadows drift along the floor until they can slither up my calves, rubbing affectionately against me in a way that reminds me of a cat. “It’s ok,” he soothes.

Tears stream down my cheeks. “Make it stop!” I beg. “Show me how to bury it again.”

His shadows trail higher, winding over my hips and waist, even as he steps closer, leaving barely a breath between us. “Y/N…” he shakes his head, trying to find the right words and I feel a strange pang beneath the movement in my chest.

“Please,” I whimper. “I’ll do anything! Just make it stop.”

He cups my cheek and I give myself the briefest moment to fall into the warmth of his touch.  “I know it’s scary, and that it hurts, but this is good. It has to be released. You will die if you don’t.”

Then let me. The words freeze on my tongue when a tendril of his power flicks over his shoulder, down his wrist, to brush against my cheek, but that doesn’t stop the spiraling of my thoughts. Let me be free of this pain. Let me go out before I become a monster like my father. Let that awful bastard be right; let me be useless and worthless and incapable of doing anything he could be proud of. 

As if spurred on by my thoughts, the grass around me continues to wither, until there’s a whole circle of dead earth surrounding me. The harder I try to draw it in, the wider the circle becomes. Power sizzle through my nerve endings, a fire that digs itself into my veins and when I curl my hands into fists to try and stop it, I pull weeds through the cracks in the earth, the gnarled, leafy branches reaching up like skeletal hands that wrap around my, and Rhysand’s ankles.

“Focus on that spot,” his free hand taps gently against my ribs. “Focus until it feels like you’re holding it.”

I try to imagine the power like a bowl filled with sloshing, dark liquid. I imagine myself reaching for the lip of the bowl, the cracked edges and rough wood a mirror to the one that used to sit on our kitchen table, full of apples I’d sneak when no one was looking. If I make it familiar, it feels easier to focus on. I imagine every crack in the bowl, every worn edge, focusing until I get a mental hold around the edges. Now all I need to do is tip the bowl over. If I spill out its contents, there will be nothing left inside me to unleash… right?

“Once you can hold it, focus on containing it. Imagine it like a bottle, get all that energy into the bottle, and put a lid on the top,” Rhys says like he can hear my plans.

The liquid inside the bowl bubbles and hisses as my conflicted feelings run circles through my head. He hasn’t been wrong this far, I should do as he says, but I can’t help but feel like indulging this is a mistake. I can hear my father’s voice inside my head, telling me that this is not how females are supposed to behave. 

I can feel the weeds I’d summoned dying around me. Can feel every blade of grass as if it was somehow attached to my skin. The longer I hold that imaginary bowl, the more aware of this power I become, but it doesn’t feel like control. It just feels like more things pulling at me, trying to move me in directions I’ve never decided I want to go in. 

The ground rumbles beneath my boots again as my mental grip slips, and when I open my eyes the weeds, dead as they are now, have slithered all the way up my chest, reaching for my throat like some decrypt hand. 

The air leaves my lungs in a rush and with it, the dead vegetation crumbles and turns to dust on the wind.

Rhysand should be looking at me like I’m a monster. He should be stepping away, shadows swirling, that giant sword in hand. We are supposed to be enemies and he should be looking at me like I am one. But he’s not. He reaches out and brushes some of the ruined plant off my shoulder instead.

“It’s ok,” he assures. “No one gets it on their first try. Not even me.”

That compassion and understanding makes my chest ache worse than any restless power ever has. I don’t deserve it. I wish he would treat me like the horrible creature I am. He would be better off if he tossed me out into the woods like Tam.

He stiffens and I can’t help but wonder if I accidentally said that out loud because his eyes darken as he closes the gap between us and takes my face in his hands. “Maybe I’m taking the wrong approach.” His voice is clipped, husky. 

Good, maybe he can finally see me for what I really am.

I am wholly unprepared for him to crash his lips against mine. My brain short circuits, the agitation I feel morphing into that desperate, needy thing I had felt this morning. Just as I tilt my head back, lips parting to let him in, he pulls back. 

“Let’s play a game.”

The power in my chest feels like it’s going to rip out of my skin again. 

“Match what I do and you’ll get a reward,” he explains. “If you can’t…” He takes a step back and it is an effort not to chase after him, but the message is clear enough: Matching his efforts means his hands, his lips, his body is on me again, fail to do so, and he puts space between us. It shouldn’t work. It shouldn’t make me want to try, but I do. Gods I do! 

“Ok,” my voice shakes a little. In the back of my mind I still think it’s a bad idea. Maybe I will regret it in the end, but this thing between us is the only thing that makes sense. There is nothing between us when his lips are on mine. I need that distraction tonight.

He holds out a hand and a ball of shadows emerge, the tendrils of darkness crawling out from beneath his skin to form the swirling shape. “Find that spot in your chest and push it into your hand. It’s a part of you, it answers to you. Make it answer to you.”

I hold out my hand, matching his position and then close my eyes, reaching for that bowl of darkness again. Hesitantly, I tip it sideways, sloshing some of the dark liquid over the edge and imagine pulling it through my limbs. It makes my muscles spasm, my claws shooting out of my nail beds in defense.

“Breathe through it, you’ll pass out if you hold your breath.” 

Selfishly, I want to impress him. Want to show him I can. I want the reward of his lips on mine again. Want to not have to think about whether I should be doing this or that, the only thought in my head him and how good he feels. I do as he says, drawing in a breath as I keep pushing that bit of darkness in the direction I want it. It makes my head hurt, trying to focus so intently, but I’m nothing if not persistent. 

I feel the rumble of movement beneath my palm, and just when I’m starting to think that maybe I’m more capable than I thought, the tiniest, most wilted looking dandelion grows from my palm. And then immediately turns to ash. It’s the saddest excuse for power I’ve ever seen and I growl out a complaint like a literal beast as even the thing in my chest shows its disappointment.

Rhysand snorts out a laugh too, which makes it worse.

So much for powerful. 

He clears his throat as he steps back into my space. “It was a good attempt.”

“Don’t patronize me,” I hiss. “That was embarrassing.” 

He wraps his hand around my wrist and places his lips against my palm anyway, never mind that my claws are still out and drifting over his temple as he kisses right where my powers flared. “You still tried.”

I shiver at the contact of his plush lips against my skin, his breath warm against my palm. My senses are still incredibly heightened and even that bit of contact makes my skin buzz with excitement. 

He quirks a dark brow as he looks at me from where my hand is still pressed against his lips. “Try again for me?”

I nod, not trusting my voice when he’s looking at me like he wants to devour me. His pupils are blown wide, barely a ring of violet left to see. He keeps his lower lip between his perfect teeth as he watches me with an intensity that makes my thighs clench. 

Just like before, I imagine myself holding that bowl, this time, I draw a breath and tip it over, letting more of that strange darkness spill into the abyss that is my soul. It is strange to see it like this, to have some parts of it so clear and yet the rest of it is shrouded in fathomless depths. There might be anything living within the confines of my skin. I’d never bothered to look until now. 

I push it towards my fingertips, just as before. The same spasm in my muscles returns, a knot forming in my bicep that I do my best to ignore as I keep pushing my power towards my hand. I remind myself to breathe when it flares in my wrist, making my claws retract and pop back out. 

“Just like that,” Rhysand coaxes.

Cauldron his voice makes my insides feel like jelly. 

Crawling vines emerge one by one from beneath my palms, twining around my fingertips like tiny snakes. In the center sprouts another dandelion, a little taller than the last. I manage to hold it for all of five seconds before the knot in my bicep and wrist become too much and the vines and flower die together. My bones ache. How does he do this so easily?

“Better,” Rhysand praises as he places the next kiss on the inside of my wrist, his fingers massaging the knot forming there. 

“Is it supposed to hurt?” I grumble.

“It’s a process,” he murmurs into my skin, lips trailing higher, causing a shiver to run down my spine. “Think of it like building a muscle. The first couple days of using that muscle will hurt. You’ll be sore. But the more you build it, the stronger it becomes, and the less it hurts. Eventually, you’ll be able to perform bigger and bigger feats with less and less discomfort.” 

That sounds exhausting! 

I’m going to have to do this for the rest of my life? The thought sours my mood, once again turning my thoughts away from this lovely little distraction he’s been offering and back into the darkness that’s been threatening to overtake me all afternoon. 

I swear he can hear the thoughts spinning through my head as he suddenly nips at the tender flesh of the inside of my wrist. “You think you can give me one more?”

I have a headache just thinking about doing it again, but he keeps looking at me through those long lashes, the intensity in his gaze making all rational thought fly out the window. 

“I’ll make it worth your while,” he promises, lips trailing higher. He’s so warm and intoxicating, I think he might be capable of making me do anything, as long as his lips remain on my skin.

I focus on that spot, paying extra attention to breathe as I reach for that imaginary bowl a third time. Maybe if I let myself relax, lean a little heavier into the warmth of his touch, and stop trying so hard to hold on so tight, it won't hurt so bad. It has been like fighting a tide all this time; if I relax, go with the wave, will that make it easier?

I imagine that darkness spilling from the bowl like water instead, letting it flow like a river. The path from my chest to my fingertips is kind of like a stream, right? The water bubbling and rushing through me. There must be something to that thought process, because, when I open my eyes, there are more vines twining around my fingers and wrist, but this time, tiny yellow and pink flowers bloom from them. There is nothing dead or angry crawling out from beneath my skin, but something beautiful and alive. My claws retract as the vines spin around my fingers.

I can’t help but grin as I look to Rhys for his approval. “I did it!”

He grins right back, the sight so dazzling I think I might just stand here for hours summoning flower after flower to see it again. “That’s my girl!”

Instinctively, spurred by the excitement rushing through my veins, I stretch up on my toes and place a quick kiss on his lips. “You’re a good teacher,” and I mean it. Whatever this is between us, I am grateful for him, even if this is all we have. “Thank you.”

He slides a hand in my hair and kisses me back. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

I don’t know what it is I feel about it. It still feels wrong, or maybe it just feels different. Everything feels different these days, I’d rather not think too long about it. “Feels like I can breathe a little easier.” 

“Good.” He kisses me again. “We’ll practice some more tomorrow.”

I slide my hand into the silky strands of his hair, nails scraping lightly over his scalp as he rests his forehead on mine. I won’t let myself think about tomorrow, or about these new powers. There can only be this moment.

“Just promise me,” he continues, “that you’ll keep trying?”

“I might need some convincing,” I return, clinging to this distraction with every last bit of willpower I possess.

He grins at the challenge. This is the best I can give him today; the closest to the truth I can admit without laying everything bare. 

“I can be very persuasive,” he purrs and the next thing I know I am on my back in what’s left of the grass, the solid weight of him on top of me. “Maybe we should work on some self-defense while we’re at it. That was alarmingly easy.”

“The words every girl wants to hear when she’s beneath a man,” I retort.

“I just want you to be safe, is all,” he says as he kisses the tip of my nose. 

I reach up a hand and brush some of the hair that’s falling over his forehead into his eyes out of the way. He is breathtakingly beautiful under the moonlight. I wish I could paint or sketch, immortalize every glorious sharp edge of him in ink and paper. “I’m with you, how can I not be safe?”

Cauldron boil me, I mean that too.

It’s not until later that night, long after I’d fallen apart on his tongue in that field and then tumbled back into camp, nearly asleep on my feet to nestle down against his warm body that I remembered I’d meant to ask him this morning why he’d still let me in after everything between us. By now I’m too exhausted to care; maybe I’ll find the courage to ask in the morning.

-------------

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[illyrian-dreamer]

Our girl – Part 5

Azriel x Cassian x fem reader angst

Summary: You wake after succumbing to the mating bond.

Word count: 5.1k

<<&lt; Part 4

Strands of hair tickled your cheeks, a warm, gentle breeze kissing your face as you groggily blinked awake. 

 A spring breeze. 

You jolted upright, urgently scanning around you. It was a lavash guest room, soft white sheets settled over your body, lush pillows piled to have cradled your head. You had no idea who's clothes you wore, but you knew you were at the Spring Manor. 

As if on queue, a house maid opened the doors to your room, behind her a healer. It was the same perky house maid that had greeted you when you first visited Tamlin. 

“Oh good, you’re awake, she pepped. The healer wordlessly approached you, pressing her thumb to your wrist. She gave the maid a quick nod before leaving the room, without having spoken a word. 

“She’s mute,” the maid explained. 

Oh. You stared back at her. So were you, it seemed.

“The High Lord will be eager to hear you are awake. Will you take his visit?”

You nodded silently, unable to form the thousands of questions as your brain came to wake. 

Tamlin was in your room in no less than a few minutes. 

“How are you feeling?”

You blinked. You hadn't really thought about that. Looking within yourself, you felt it there, a swollen heart, alive and beating and thriving, but also aching from a deep wound. You were nautious and weak and so gods damned angry. How could the Mother be so cruel?

“How long was I asleep?”

“Just a day.”

You nodded, running your hand through your hair. “And we’re in Spring?”

Tamlin nodded. “Feyre and Rhys winnowed us here.”

You were too tired to gawk, so you blinked instead. “Pardon me?”

“And your… Azriel and Cassian are still here, waiting for you to wake.”

You must still be dreaming. “You opened your home to them?” you croaked.

Tamlin shrugged. “We wanted to bring you to your Uncle’s, but you could see to a healer faster here. Besides, there was no fitting five fae in that cabin, especially two Illyrians.”

“They could have slept outside,” you ground out, and Tamlin chuckled. 

“You do… remember what unfolded at the wedding, don’t you? That Azriel and Cassian are your mates?”

“Do not call them that.” Taming the bite in your tone was beyond you, even for your friend. You had to clench your eyes shut to stop the reel in your vision, your whole body clenching as you remembered that awful, fated moment.

Tamlin didn't falter. Instead he dropped his eyes before reaching for your hand and squeezing it sympathetically. “Are you in any pain?”

“Yes. No. I don't know,” you said plainly, pinching at your nose. It did hurt, this unwanted binding to the two beings you resented most in this world. It hurt to resist them, to resist it. As if there was a home, beckoning you inside to warmth and food and comfort, and instead you stood outside in the hail and cold, despising it for ever being built.

Tamlin’s eyes were soft as he watched you shift uncomfortably. You hated that look too, as if he was sad for you, as if this bond was your fate and you had no say in the matter. 

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” he blinked. 

“As if I’m some mindless female destined to forget and forgive and go running back with a kiss to each of their cheeks.”

“I don’t think that–”

“Because I’m not, and I won’t. I still have my head, and my senses, and some gods-damned self respect.” 

Tamlin sighed then. “No one can force you to do anything you don’t want to Y/N. I won't allow it.”

You cast your eyes to the roof then, blinking away the sting of tears. “And what of us, Tamlin? Suppose I was free to explore a future with you?”

Tamlin moved to hold your one hands in his, running a thumb in your palm. “You are free, sweetheart.”

“And you would court me, knowing I’m cauldron-bound to not just one, but two others?”

His thumb stopped rubbing then, and his lips pressed to a thin line. 

You stared hard at Tamlin, eyes piercing. Don’t lie - that look said - we do not lie to each other. 

And as Tamlin raised green eyes to yours, in their softness you had your answer. 

“Your silence is answer enough,” you bit, letting out a sharp breath as tears slid down your cheeks, snatching your hand from his. 

It had started – your choices, your freedom – fading away already. Curse the Mother.

“Come now Y/N, I will always love you, and we will always have each other, however our relationship might change.”

“Lies, Tamlin. Fucking lies,” your voice broke as tears streamed down your cheeks. You were flushed with anger then, kicking off the sheets that were now too hot, your skin beginning to tingle. Gods, not now you begged, holding your breath to stifle the sting at your fingertips.

“I do not lie to you, Y/N.” Tamlin said sternly. 

You swung your legs from your bed, standing in a hurry as blood rushed to your head. “You’re just another disappointment,” you said coldly, pacing as you shook your hands to rid of your power. 

Pain flashed in his eyes, and he recoiled slightly before straightening, his eyes hardening. “You’re being unfair.” 

“You males are all the same! You treat females as if they are objects, owned by one male and therefore not to be touched by another. An unspoken exchange, as if I were cattle and not an actual fucking being.” 

Tamlin pinched his nose then, his jaw tightening. “That is not what is happening here. You cannot punish me for not wanting to entangle myself in your mateship, not when I’m doing it out of respect for you.”

You were being unfair, and quite unforgiving, but your words were as unstoppable as your power in this moment, zapping and dancing at your skin. 

“Is that what you define as respect, High Lord? Because despite a year of friendship, all it took was one gods-foresaken moment for you to side with what they want, and start dismissing me. You believe in the bond, and you respect Azriel and Cassian enough to house them, and agree that you won't so much as look at me again. You have chosen them over me, plain and simple.”

Tamlin’s face was grave, and you knew you were twisting an old wound of his. And perhaps you were being rash, but you didn't care. You would shut him out, or anyone who thought they knew what was best for you. 

“I thought I was helping you by allowing them here,” he said defensively. “I thought perhaps you’d feel safe here, but would still want them close, to be able to talk to them.”

Your eyes narrowed. “You’re gods-damned right I want to talk to them! I’ll tell them exactly what I think of this couldren-made-shackle, of what I think of the Mother if they think for one second they can–” You swayed on the spot as you spat a string of curses, vision blurring slightly.

Despite the cruel words you had cast his way, Tamlin approached, steadying you by your shoulder’s, biting down on the pain that stung him at his touch. 

“I understand your anger, Y/N, I do. But you’re still unwell, you should rest now and–”

Tamlin should have know better than to test your stubbornness. 

So you marched for the door, flinging it open as you stormed through the manor, using that tether you so loathed to cast out your mates. Tamlin was on your tail, trying to reason to take a moment or calm yourself before doing anything rash. But you didn't turn once as you found the room that beheld your mates, ripping the doors open without so much as a knock. 

They knew you were coming of course. Azriel stood near the bed, and Cassian had just risen from the armchair he sat on in the opposite corner – their faces grave, worried, with a sickening kind of longing. 

It was as if the flesh between your bones went soft, your body begging to give out or give in and relish in the proximity of being close to your mates. But you forced yourself to stay stiff, holding a glare that could cut glass.

“Wipe those looks off your faces,” you bit, stalking into the room.

Azriel cast his eyes to Tamlin who held a look that said I tried to stop her. He knew better than to linger, pulling the doors closed behind you.

“How are you fee–?” Cassian tried, but you raised a hand to silence him. 

They waited in silence, and you darted your eyes between them. 

“You think this means I forgive you?”

They knew better than to answer that. 

“You think this means you can have me, because the Mother wishes to see us mated?” you continued, your voice laced with ice. “Well it doesn’t. I will not head to fate and forsake myself, not even for the cauldron.”

Azriel sighed then, moving to sit at the edge of the bed. “Of course you won’t,” he said plainly. 

You scowled. “Is that sarcasm?” you bit, even though you felt his sincerity creeping through the tether. 

“No. It’s knowing.”

You blinked.

“We know you doll,” Cassian said as he too sat back in the chair, running a strong hand through his hair – a tell sign of stress. “Not because of the bond. But because we’ve loved you for almost a decade now. We know there is not a thing that can set you apart from your principles.”

“And we would never ask that of you,” Azriel added.

You shuffled, your arms crossing defensively. “You won't try to convince me to go back with you?” you asked stiffly.

Cassian shook his head. “No, it was wrong for us to ask that of you in the first place.”

Azriel stood then, moving closer to a settee in the centre of the room. “We do ask that you might let us explain. We have so much we've wanted to tell you, even before you left Velaris. And there is a lot of truth we’ve withheld, things you deserve to know.” He slid his hands behind his back, waiting at the seats – a silent offering to join them, to hear them out. 

It was a temptation you couldn't deny yourself. You moved swiftly, sitting on one side, a low reading table separating you as Cassian took a place next to Azriel. 

“We had suspicions of the bond from when we first began to court you.” Azriel began. “It was so rare for us to long for the same female, but the true hint was in the lack of jealousy we felt between each other.”

Cassian nodded. “We agreed to court you as, well, as partners. It wasn't anything we had explored in our 500 years, but with you, it felt so natural.”

“And your ease too, that was a big sign,” Azriel added. “We half expected you to flee, or never speak to us again.”

“But you were so comfortable, you made it feel… right.”

You were frowning slightly. You didn't remember feeling natural or at ease at all, in fact you were sick to your stomach with nerves when you first began dating. But perhaps they had a point, exploring your first relationship with two males hadn’t added any more challenge than regular dating for you. You had put that down to your friendship of many years. 

“Over the period we dated, and as we fell in love with you, we learned to love each other too. We were brothers, but you showed us how to be more than that, igniting something not even they Cauldron dared show us.”

“We wanted to tell you of our suspicions, but it didn’t feel like the right time. You were so focused on your work, so determined to do well. And I suppose we thought it was a hopeless dream – it didn't feel right to distract you with that.” Cassian explained, leaning into his elbows that rested on his knees.

You weighed up their words, eyes darting between the males. It had never occurred to you that a mating bond was at play. You would have never believed yourself to be cauldron-blessed if they had suggested it – or cauldron-cursed rather.

Azriel cleared his throat, cutting through the silence. “It wasn't until the moment that I killed Alvar, that I felt the bond snap,” he breathed out, his voice husky and his hazel eyes cast downward, grimacing as he recalled the difficult memory. “I watched the life leave his body, and then I heard a snap, a force so strong it made me falter. I was reborn in that moment, my new purpose to solely fill your needs, to care for you, protect you. I could feel your desires overriding mine, and in that your determination and hunger to avenge your sister. And I knew then, that I had made the biggest mistake of my life.”

There was a downward tug of your lips, your face muscles jerking involuntarily as you tried not to cry, imagining that moment that changed everything for the worse. 

“I have dreams of Alvar, still alive and at the mercy of Trutheller. I dream that I sheath my sword and step away, returning to a world where you are waiting for me at our home. And your embrace is warm and true, because you love us, and we never did a thing to ruin it.” Azriel’s voice broke as he flashed those hazel eyes, lined with tears. 

Two silent tears slid down your cheeks, your chest tight with the shallows breaths you kept to keep yourself from crumbling. You didn't respond – what could you say? Instead, you cleared your throat, grasping the arms of your chair even tighter. “And what of you?” you asked Cassian. 

“It snapped for me in that same moment. But I was journeying home from the northern training camps in Illyria.” 

You blinked in shock. The bond had snapped for the both of them, with that greater distance between them while Azriel was across the sea?

“As I was flying back to Velaris, and I heard the snap in my ears before I felt it course through my veins and wounding my heart. That realisation, that same pain that Azriel described, the devastation at what we had done… it sent me crashing into the thick of forest.”

You closed your eyes as you imagined the great War General, bought to his knees by such a thing. 

“It seems none of us have been welcomed to this mateship gently,” you said tightly. Why had the Mother forsaken so much pain?

“I could hear Az then, speak to him through the bond in the same way Rhys and Feyre speak in  our minds. I could feel his panic too, his fear of having to tell you, to break you in such a way. I calmed him down as best I could, and reassured him that we would do it together, as soon as he returned.”

Your eyes turned cold again. “But that isn’t what happened.”

“It was a cowards choice to ask Rhys to be the one tell you, we know,” Azriel said with dismay. “But the concept of hurting you, of wounding our mate so deeply? It was unfathomable.”

“Its not an excuse,” Cassian added. “But we hope you can understand, there is an instinct there that twists our concept of what is wrong and right. Rhys understood that, it was the same instinct that kept him from telling Feyre about the risk of birthing Nyx. I think that’s why he volunteered to tell you, to protect us from something that would wound us so deeply.”

“We are learning, Y/N, and we are so sorry that we hurt you,” Azriel said, hazel eyes pinning you with their intensity. “But we are trying, and we will do better by you.”

You looked between the two of them, pulling your hands to your lap as your fingers trembled. It was just all so much. 

Closing your eyes, you imagined what it would be like to say those words – I forgive you. 

You could see it, relief flooding the bond and breaking those solemn gazes, their embrace and warmth and scent surrounding you, fulfilling your primal desire. Their lips on yours, their hands on your body, yours on theirs, puling each other in and never letting go. There was a thrumming in your heart, a pulsing through your veins. It felt so right. 

But then you thought of the life you had made, the path you were forced to walk by yourself after what they had done. They had broken you completely, and you had put yourself back together, now stronger than ever. Your mission work, your life in Spring, the pain you endured and the scars that remained from doing it alone – it was a part of you now, and you could never let that go. 

You were at a cross roads – one path leading to the overwhelming promise of unconditional love that tempted your heart, the other promising freedom and choice and sense, tempting your head.

“What are you thinking?” Cassian asked, his voice soft from where he still sat, anxiously fidgeting with his hands. 

You took a deep breath. “That I am overwhelmed.”

Cassian nodded, and Azriel watched you before speaking softly. “That is understandable.”

You didn't have an answer for them, not even for yourself. 

“I don't know what to do,” you whispered. 

Cassian continued to nod, casting his eyes down sadly. “Whatever you decide, Y/N, we will do right by you.”

“Of course we dream of you accepting the bond, of becoming our mate, we won't deny that. But we want you to want it,” Azriel added. 

You gulped, anticipating the pain that would come from your next words. “And what if I decide to break the bond?”

Cassian’s head dropped as he let out a wrangled sob. Azriel’s shadows recoiled so fast they disappeared entirely. The latter gripped the chair, his knuckles white as he slipped into that place he so often had to as the Spy Master – a place where nothing could hurt him. “The choice is yours.”

“Please,” Cassian breathed out, tears streaming down his face. It was a plea, even the thought of the bond breaking unbearable to him. 

It unbearable for you too, and fresh tears slid down your face as your arms coiled tighter around the ache in your stomach. It would sicken you, perhaps almost kill the three of you. But it was what they deserved. 

You were exhausted, and keeping that wall up through the bond, stopping their emotions from tampering with your own – that alone had you begging for your bed. 

“I’m not trying to hurt you,” you said with a broken voice, guilt slipping through at the sight of the General sobbing before you.

Azriel put an arm around his brother, comforting him as best he could. “We know that, sweetheart. Of course we know that.”

You cast your eyes sideways as you blinked through more tears. “But I don't have an answer for you.”

Cassian nodded, running his hands over his face as he tried to collect himself. “Take your time,” he said after a few moments, his voice shaky and breaths forced. “We will wait for you, no matter how long it takes.”

“And you don't need any more bargains from Rhys or Feyre,” Azriel added. “We will respect your privacy Y/N, any and all distance you might need. Let us prove that to you.”

You nodded then, forcing yourself to your knees despite the scream of protests in all of your muscles and joints. Gods, is this how the rest of your life would be, forever fighting a higher cause? Perhaps you’d go mad before you could ever hope to forgive them.

“I will…,” you trailed off, not knowing what to say. “Good bye, Cassian and Azriel,” you forced out, your voice thick from the cry that begged at your throat. 

Cassian’s lip wobbled, and Azriel’s brow broke upwards as he spoke. “Take good care of yourself, Y/N.” 

Cassian’s head felt to his hands, and you forced yourself to close the doors behind you, quieting the sound of his cries. 

————

You spent three weeks at your Uncle’s cabin – mostly in bed and unspeaking, even to Finbark. He dotted over you, trying to pry you from your room to spend some time outside or eat a full meal. But that familiar pain had returned, that same weight that kept you bed bound for days in your old apartment. It was grief, in all shapes and kinds.

You hadn't broken the bond, but it was rejected good and proper for now. And it hurt so gods damned much. Your waking moments were consumed with the tug and pull of what was right, a constant reeling battle that exhausted you to every extent. 

The mission aid work carried on without you – you had a competent team of friends that you trusted to continue to provide care across Spring Court. You were grateful for their passion and dedication – while your desire to help others was unreachable in those moments, and you felt completely numb to what you once had thought was your life’s calling. You despised the bond for changing you so.

You wondered of the wild Geranium, if it had been harvested yet and if Tamlin or your team had made any progress on bottling its healing pigment. 

And there was pain and guilt when you thought of Tamlin too. You had hurt him – you were malicious in your anger and said so many things you hadn't meant. You weren't angry at him, not really. Your anger lied with the Mother and your mates, and you could not fault him for not wanting to complicate relations and involve himself where he knew he shouldn’t. He was true to his word – he was open and honest with you – and you had punished him for it. 

Tamlin hadn’t sent word, and you knew he was respecting the distance you sought, perhaps even licking his own wounds. So you would start there, apologise to him, and help just one person hurt less from the recoil of your poisonous mating bond. 

You sent word to his Manor, asking him to meet you in three days time. 

————

Tamlin was at the stables, brushing down his steed when you trotted up on Podie. 

He wore his riding pants again, boots to his knees, a shirt tucked in at his tight abdomen, strong forearms moving the brush gently across the horses back. You cursed the Mother that the sight of him didn't have the same effect on you as it had a few months prior – the bond chipping away at what you had once known to desire. 

Your heart did clench at the sight of him in a sorry way, his blond hair pulled back as he worked humbly. You had missed your friend dearly, and even the Mother could not stop you from feeling that.

Tamlin turned, his face neutral as he watched you approach, neither of you speaking. Green eyes followed your dismount, and you lingered for a moment before you rushed at him, wrapping your arms at his waist and burying your face into his chest. The scent of mountain dew and fresh cut grass filled your nose – gods you had missed that.

“I’m sorry,” you croaked before sobs overtook, muffled by his clothing. 

Tamlins arms were still in the air, shocked by your approach. But he loosed a breath, bringing them to hug you, rubbing soft circles on your back. 

Relief found you then, and you melted further into his touch. A sign of truce. “I’m so so sorry Tamlin.”

“Shhh, it’s alright Y/N. It’s alright.”

You shook your head, pulling away and looking up at him. “You were only trying to help, and I was so cruel. The things I said, I–”

Tamlin shook his head gently, hushing you. “I don't understand the instincts of a mating bond, but I do know what it is to say things out of anger.”

“I didn't mean them,” you swallowed with guilt.

He smiled softly. “I know.”

You took a deep breath. “Please forgive me.”

Tamlin rolled his eyes playfully then, a smirk now on his lips. “I already had.” 

You tried to smile back, but it came out all wobbly, so Tamlin pulled you in again, swaying in a hug as he kissed the top of your head. 

After some lunch and a stroll through the gardens, he watched your carefully as you fingered the roses. 

“Do you know what you’ll do of the bond?”

You stiffened, your eyes not leaving the row of flowers before you. “No, I really don’t,” you said sadly. It was true, you hadn't a clue what to do next. 

Tamlin nodded.

After a deep sigh, you forced yourself to meet his gaze. “But I do know what I want for my life. I want to continue my mission work, expand my horizons and work across Prythian. I suppose I need to approach the other High Lords, and harvest the Geranium if you’re still willing?”

Tamlin smiled, his eyes warm as he seemed to find relief. “It’s all yours.”

You nodded, smiling back. There was relief for you too – you recognised your old self in those words. Your passion to help others was still alive and strong – and that meant the cauldron hadn’t changed you beyond recognition, and if you fought hard enough, it couldn't if it tried.

“I’m so grateful to have you in my life, Tam,” you confessed, your chest swelling with sincerity.

Tamlin raised his brows in question. 

You gave a half smile. “You make me feel… like myself. No matter the circumstance.”

Tamlin’s face softened in a way that made you wonder how long it was since he was shown a genuine kind of love – especially after what happened with Hybern.

“You are wonderfully you, Y/N, with or without my help.”

“Always the humble High Lord,” you teased, rolling your eyes. “But I would not have made it this far without you. You’re my dearest friend.”

Tamlin reached and squeezed your hand. “You’re dear to me too, Y/N.”

You squeezed back, and you swore to yourself that the bond would not interfere in this friendship ever again. 

————

6 months later

The High Lords meeting was held in Dawn, in an impressive wide cast room, marble sprawled from floor to ceiling, glassless windows arched at every wall. All seven High lords and one High Lady seated at a wide-spanning table, a cartographic map of Prythian etched within the wood. 

Fingers tingling as you shook them out, and skirts kicking at your feet, you paced anxiously on the other side of the double doors to the meeting hall.

Today was the day you would propose your mission to expand refuge aid across the whole of Prythian, asking the High Lords to consider opening their borders and contributing resources and volunteers of their own. 

Your team had worked tirelessly to get to this point – the wild Geranium was now harvested and a new batch was already seeding, and you had worked for months on your proposal, researching natural resources, writing guidance sheets on how to train volunteers, identifying what each court had to contribute and when. 

The challenge that lay ahead of you now was to appeal to spectrum of powerful leaders waiting on the other side of those doors. You knew of their egos, of the rivalry and sensitivities between courts – this was no easy task.  

“Tamlin must certainly be a terrible lover if this is how wound up he leaves you.”

You threw a scowl over your shoulder, knowing that voice and whitewood scent. 

“And what of you, Eris? Waiting for daddy to finish his meeting like the good dog you are?”

Eris gave a half grin, one that didn't reach his eyes. He strolled over, leaning against the wall as he watched you try to calm yourself, delighting in your nerves. “Speaking of dogs, I heard your mates are cooped up at Night Court, the both of them suffering from wounded hearts.”

Your bared your teeth before you could think twice. Eris knowing that both Cassian and Azriel were your mates was dangerous, but the primal snarl had escaped you for that insult alone.

Eris’s eyes danced with satisfaction. “Oh, don't go feral on me now, Y/N. From what I hear, you haven't so much a secured the bond with a fuck.”

“I will–“ your hands curled into fists as you stalked up to the male, overcome with a shaking rage. 

But Eris stayed leaning, cleaning his nails with arrogant nonchalance as he cut you off. “I suppose they’ll have to satisfy each other instead, how sad.”

Your hand was raised, ready to strike, and fire glowed in Eris’s eyes. 

“Try that, girl, and your pathetic mission turns to dust. You can forget any allegiance from Autumn, and it’s likely others will back out too.”

You faltered, your arm swaying slightly. He was right – the prick. A sounding slap was not the way to heed your proposal.

He grinned with smug satisfaction as you lowered your arm and turned away. “Such a violent response from someone who preaches to only want to help others. Perhaps you’re not the peaceful messiah you claim to be, Y/N.”

“I’ve never had a problem defending what is mine,” you threw over your shoulder. “And my aid is offered to those in need, not to arrogant princelings, or lapdogs and the likes.”

A snarl tickled at Eris’s lips, and you were glad to have landed at least one blow, be it verbal. 

“You consider those overgrown bats yours?” he asked with distaste. “So it’s true then, about the bond?”

Blinking, you played back the words that had found you so naturally. Was that how you felt? 

Chewing on your lip, you decided to ignore Eris’s question. You would think of that later – you had a meeting to focus on, and you’d be damned if either the mating bond or Eris distracted you from it. 

You didn’t have time to throw a final insult his way before Thesan pulled the double doors open, eight pairs of eyes now set on you, and Eris no where in sight. 

“Y/N, we are ready for you,” Thesan said with a soft smile. 

You gulped before straightening yourself, stepping into the room and facing the most important moment of your entire existence, whether you were ready or not.

--------

Part 6>>>

AN: SURPRISE guest appearance by Eris ;) ;) ;) Hello hello lovelies, thank you so much for your patience on this part, I know it took a while ❤️  I am so so excited to finally explore a bit of Cazriel's perspective, and get their side to the story. I hope I've done all the characters justice so far! And there's still so much to explore – I am very keen to share the next part and see how this High Lords meeting goes down (let's face it, there will be TEA). As always, I LOVE hearing your thoughts and opinions on the fic, so pretty please drop me a comment or ask anytime! Hope you're all well and are taking care of yourselves too. MWAH!  ❤️  ❤️  ❤️ 

[brucewaynehater101]

Recently my mind has been plagued with ideas about things Tim could be other than human and what would both fit him and make an interesting story. I believe I might have found something that suits him rather well.

Tim has always been a strange child, always silent and always watching. Learning everything he can about everyone he has to interact with so that he can best make sure every interaction goes in his favor. He learned his manipulation from his Mother after all. She was the very best at it so he will be the very best too. She nor his "father" have watched over him since he was very small, after all they are creatures that do not raise their own young. Her returning to see him every few months, teaching him how to hide what he is and how to defend himself, *and* making sure he has food and shelter is far, far more than most of his species could ever even dream of. Janet is their version of Best Mom In The Universe, even if she's horrifyingly neglectful by Human Standards.

As for how Jack treats Tim, he doesn't. After all, once they were married and she had everything, she didn't need him anymore. Jack died before Tim was even conceived and the current Jack is nothing more than a husk, a living puppet that his mother walks around with as a shield to keep herself safe from prying eyes and questions. Perfect for keeping her cover as Just A Human. She has taught Tim how to do this same thing using small animals from the garden (and making sure he eats them after. He's still a growing boy who needs to eat after all) si that one day he can have a few living puppets of his own.

Tim does not tell anyone he isn't human, as per his mother's instructions. After all, he shares quite a few traits with a type of creature that humans *hate* and actively go out of their way to kill. Well, most do.

As he grows and ages as Robin, he never let's anything slip, he can't afford to let them know. He knows that Bruce doesn't trust magic in Gothem (or at least, Tim thinks that's the truth) and even if he did, the others have shown a distaste for the creature that he shares so much with. Especially Alfred and Dick, the later of which he has verbally claimed to *hate*. Given, one of them was in his hair when he yelled this but it still stung quite deeply and Alfred works hard to make sure that not a single trace of them can be found anywhere in the manor, even scolding Tim once for letting so much proof of their existence pile up in the corners of his room. But Tim doesn't blame him either, Alfred's job is to keep the house clean after all.

Eventually he must come clean though and what a way it is. Bruce has been working a case with Constantine about people going missing in Gothem. Turns out, everyone who has was some kind of magical creature and the people doing it are likely poachers. The others have been informed of the case so that they can report anything they know or anyone they know who could be a target. Tim doesn't say anything, instead keeping a closer eye on those he does know. He would never, ever sell out another creature. He would rather die.

A week later, an attempted raid on the poachers goes wrong and ends up with Jason, Tim, Bruce, and Damian all captured by the poachers. Tim is the last to wake up and when he does, the poachers are discussing what kind of undead Jason is, scanning the tied up vigilante with a device that simply says again, "subject, magical. Type, undead. Futher information, unknown."

At this point Tim realizes he's the only one not tied up. He's also the only one in a cage. He tries to pretend to be asleep but the one watching him says, "look who's awake. You know, we had bets on how many of you Bats were part of the magical community. Seems like I won the bet since only you and Red Hood over there are. Don't bother trying to lie your way out, our scanner can see through your Glamor spell, no matter how powerful it is. And this?" They hold up a small remote control with about a dozen buttons on it, "this does a wonderful little thing where it makes a specific pitch at a specific volume that causes Magical Creatures to drop their Glamor Spells or Shifts. Luckily it's nothing more than mildly annoying to humans."

A button is pressed before anyone can ask questions and the remove makes a loud, buzzing sound. It's not painful for the trio who are tied up, but Tim? Tim is shaking and writhing and *screaming* with both hands pressed over his ears. He is rolling back and forth across the ground as he screams for the person to stop, just *stop*. Bruce is almost free when he freezes upon realizing something. There aren't two tear tracks on his sons face. There's a lot. A pair of eyes have opened on his cheek bones and above his eyebrows and a smaller pair between them. Tim has gotten much paler and his canines have turned long and sharp like his nails. Tim rolls onto his stomach and curls up as best he can, screaming as there is a cracking sound. A long spindly, spider like leg shoots out of his side and slams into the floor, curling up in pain like the rest of Tim's limbs.

When the device is finally turned off, Tim is laying on his side, wheezing in pain and his legs are gone. In their place is the body of a giant spider which has sharp points at the tips of its legs instead of the regular spider feet. Tim has 8 eyes and is totally limp as he tries to recover. The Poacher simply laughs, "A Jorōgumo, a real master of puppets you are. But weak without them. God, your kind is so rare, you'll fetch us the price of at least 4 normal monsters. Add in you're a famous vigilante and we could break a few million dollars off *just* you."

Tim glares weakly at them and hisses softly. He knows the numbers are true. It's the secondary reason he never told anyone. He knew he would either get squished or sold off. How he just needs to figure out how to escape from Gothem before Bruce can confront him on this. He doesn't want to explain.

Aww... was he collecting little spiders and getting upset when his family kept expressing their hatred/distaste for them? Did he have to hear them talk about how creepy their eyes are, their weird abundance of legs, and how disgusting their overall being is before he excused himself to stare in a mirror and compare the similarities?

Does he dare to meet their eyes after the reveal, or does he fear finding the look of revulsion?

Also, would he find comfort in knitting, crochet, and weaving? Is his house full of hand-made blankets?

Anyways, enjoyed what you have and would definitely read more

[toji-fushiguro-is-broke]

Toji meeting your parents

Toji meeting your parents

He didn't want to meet your parents, he didn't even want to think about it.

Just like any kind of boyfriend, He felt tensed and nervous about it.

Ever since you brought that topic, he kept telling you he was busy with missions.

He made sure that his missions collided with the days your parents either visit or when you bring up him meeting your parents.

He knew for sure your parents would never like him, he's a old man who gambles and kills people. AND he lives in the streets before he moved in with you into your apartment.

After some time you noticed that Toji had really become avoidant about the topic of meeting your parents, you wanted to talk to him.

"Toji, Can we talk?" You spoke as he froze in his spot, It can only mean one thing to Toji.

And that is headaches, He hates talks like these it stresses him out.

He sighed as he followed you to the bedroom.

"Toji-" "Yeah, I don't wanna meet em." He interrupeted you.

"Why?" You asked, "You know why." He replied.

You sighed, "Don't be like that Toji"

"But, I am like this." He said

"Toji, I'm the one with you, not my parents I love you for who you are. The reason why I want to introduce you to them is because, I want my parents to meet the man I love. And even if they don't like you, I do and I don't care what they say, If it makes you uncomfortable I understand it, I won't force you." You said as you hugged him.

"No one can stop me from loving you." You whispered to him as you kissed him goodnight.

After that talk Toji stayed awake that entire night thinking about your words, it gave him a huge headache.

No one, had accepted him for who he is except you and his ex wife. He knew he was hard to love, especially since he doesn't know how to recieprocate any kinds of feelings except anger and contempt.

He still doesn't know how to stomach having a relationship with you.

But your words got him thinking, after a few weeks, he had thought about it.

"I'll do it." He spoke while he was eating his breakfast.

"Do what?" You questioned him as you think of the things he might mean, then it hits you.

"You'll meet my parents?" You smiled in glee.

"Yeah, don't expect me to be nice and shit, or them to like me. Because clearly you know who I am." He said as he continues to eat.

The day came, where he's about to meet your parents.

He tried fixing himself, he bathed, brushed his teeth, changed into acceptable clothes and then he hid his weapons.

He was anxiously waiting inside your apartment feeling tensed, sweating.

"Fuck this is harder than killing Special grade curses and sorcerers." he grumbles as he heard the door knob open.

He felt his heart sank as he stood up walking to the door as you introduced your parents he stood quiet.

You all sat down at the dining table as your parents introduced themselves.

"Toji Fushiguro..." He introduced himself

Your parents didn't think much about it, since you already told them about him so your parents were adjusting in this case.

"So Toji, I'm happy you've met our daughter, we've never thought she'd find someone." Your mother joked.

"She was rotting on our basement for long as I've remembered" Your Father added.

"Mama! Papa!" You yelled

"What? It's true." Your mom said as you all laughed.

Your parents didn't need to know anything more about Toji. They already heard alot from you.

You were already old enough to make your own decisions and they're just there to guide you whenever you need them.

Toji was shocked that your parents weren't disgusted at him.

Your parents told stories about you to Toji so Toji would ease himself with them.

Which ends up you being embarrassed, you knew that Toji would tease you all about it later. But you were happy that you noticed that Toji was being at ease.

You stood up and excused yourself at the bathroom.

Toji knew that there might be a confrontation in this period, since you weren't here anymore.

"Toji let me be frank, I don't know who you are or where you came from. All I know is that you make our child happy, that's what matters, but hurt her you'll regret it I promise you that." Your Father said

After that you came back.

The meeting went well as you exhaled sitting on the living room clearly tired.

"I hope they didn't give you a hard time." You said as you looked at him.

"It went better than I expected." Toji said

"Why do you think so?" You curiously asked him.

"Met my ex wife's parents, didn't go well. Her parents asked lots of shit. They found out that I'm a piece of garbage not fit for their daughter. They wanted us to break up." He said as he was pouring water on a glass.

To be honest, it also went unexpected on your side as well. Usually your parents would also interrogate.

But you knew they'd understand you and your decisions because you were already an adult and you were thankful for that.

But it was probably because you've already told your parents about him.

*Flash back*

"Mom, I love him. I know you think that he isn't good for me, But I don't care I'm a grown adult who can make her own decisions."

*End of Flash back*

You and your parents argued alot about Toji that made you really stressed out that you had to drink meds.

But you didn't care, you'll stand your ground.

[ashtheketchum]

A new family Part 2

A/N: Here is the second part! To be honest, I don't know how long this story will last, but hey. If you like it, it's good if the story is long xD

Taglist: @clairealeehelsing

Part 1 here

Warnings: Mention of abuse and rape, mild panic attack, insults (slut, bitch)

Masterlist!

_____________________________________

PoV (Y/N):

The sun was starting to set as I set out to punch the Dixon brothers. I waited at their tents, trying to calm myself. “Which bitch is standing in front of my tent now?” I heard an aggressive voice. Although I had been a little calmer until now, the anger was boiling inside me again.

I looked angrily at the Dixon brothers, who had squirrels and a badger with them. They were probably hunting again, because that was their only job in this camp. Daryl looked at me for a moment before turning his gaze to the floor. "Are you kidding me!?" I just screamed loudly. "How can you scream at an 8 year old so that she runs screaming and crying to her mother!?" I screamed loudly again. Merle laughed briefly while Daryl tensed. Then Merle walked towards me and he threw the dead animals to the ground. He was now standing right in front of me, I could smell his bad breath as well as his sweat.

"Yar 8 year old gurl went after ma brotha! She’s probably just as much of a slut as ya!” Merle's words made me pause for a moment. So (D/N) really didn't listen to me and looked for Daryl. She had probably given him the necklace. I looked at Daryl briefly before pushing Merle away and walking towards him. I held out my hand angrily, he knew exactly what I wanted. "Give it back to me. You don’t deserve it, dirty Dixon.” I said angrily. Daryl looked at me annoyed for a moment before pulling the necklace out of his pocket and throwing it in my face.

"She wa´ ugly anyway." He hissed before ramming into me and walking away. Merle followed his little brother before I went away to cool off. (D/N) was lying in our tent, she was still sniffling and small tears were rolling down her cheeks. I sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug. "Is everything ok, honey?" I whispered quietly. "Mom… why do Merle and Daryl hate us so much…? They remind me of Dad…” Her words made me jump for a moment.

The memories of my ex-husband, her father, came back and I also felt tears in my eyes. "I don't know, honey… I don't know…" I murmured quietly. (D/N)'s father and I knew each other for a long time before we got together. We were actually an inseparable couple, but I got pregnant from him and from then on everything changed. He slept with other women while I had to go through the pregnancy alone, and when (D/N) was born, he beat me and raped me multiple times a day.

(D/N) noticed everything sometimes, especially when her father yelled at me. He wasn't any better to (D/N). He constantly yelled at her and sometimes locked her in her room without giving her anything to eat. When the world ended, we secretly packed a few things before running away. Before that, however, I opened all the doors so that the walkers ate him. I could hear his screams and they still haunt me sometimes, to this day. (D/N) fell asleep after a while while I continued to stay awake, staring into space.

Tears streamed down my face as I had my hand over my mouth so as not to wake (D/N), or anyone else. It was only after several minutes that I calmed down so that I could at least get some sleep. The next morning my eyes were still slightly swollen and reddish from my tears, but I ignored it too. Since (D/N) was used to seeing my eyes like that, she didn't ask. But Lori and Carol noticed. They asked me if everything was okay, but I assured them that I was okay.

That same day, Glenn, Tdog, Andrea, Merle and Morales were sent out to look for new supplies. At least Merle was gone now for a few days, we could just ignore Daryl. (D/N) and I sat together and read a book together. She was getting better and better and I was happy to see that she was enjoying reading. Suddenly I heard someone walking towards us and I immediately looked around. Luckily for me, it was Daryl walking towards us.

I glared at him as he slowly walked towards us. He wanted to kneel down next to (D/N), but I immediately pulled my daughter away from him. "Hey, I didn't yell at yar lil one…" Daryl just grumbled, pissed off. "That's right, Mom…" (D/N) just murmured quietly. I sensed that she wanted to get off me, so I let her. (D/N) sat back down between Daryl and me and continued reading the book.

Daryl looked at her for a moment before raising his hand. (D/N) and I immediately jumped and I pressed her against me protectively. Daryl looked at us in shock for a moment before carefully lowering his hand and gently patting (D/N)'s head. (D/N) and I immediately relaxed again, while Daryl then looked at me quietly. "I wan´ the necklace back…" He then murmured quietly.

For a moment I didn't understand what he meant by that, before I carefully pulled out the necklace from (D/N) and gave it to him. "Thank´…" He just mumbled before he got up and went into the forest. "Why is Daryl so nice, Mom?" (D/N) asked me while stroking her head. "I don't know…" I just mumbled quietly as I watched him go.

We decided not to read any further, instead we went to Dale and she watched the birds with him. I went to Carol and Jacqui's, who were cooking something to eat for tonight. The others came back that same day, but without Merle.

But another man came along. He was wearing a police uniform and looked around uncertainly. But suddenly Carl screamed loudly and he ran towards the man, just like Lori. Carl kept shouting 'Dad!', so it was immediately clear to me who this man was.

I walked uncertainly towards Tdog, who looked at Glenn, who silenced the red car and got a lecture from Dale. "Where is Merle?" I asked. Tdog just looked at me uncertainly before explaining what had happened. Merle was chained to a roof because he wanted to attack Tdog and the others. But the key fell from the handcuffs and he couldn't pick them up.

"I didn't mean to…" Tdog muttered at the end. "It's all okay… Merle is… well, Merle… the only one who won't stay calm is Daryl…" I murmured quietly. Tdog nodded very tensely before I then went to (D/N). (D/N) didn't even ask about Merle, as if she didn't even know he was there. I told her to stay close to me tomorrow because I was afraid of how Daryl would react. You never knew, especially when it came to Merle. Daryl didn't come back until the next day.

Next Chapter!!!

[montammil]

Just a little hurt/comfort writing with Lawrence and Marshall. This is a pretty old WIP that I just did some editing on haha

CW: Stockholm syndrome, parental abuse, parental whumper, carewhumper, infantilization, platonic cuddling/pet names, non-sexual nudity, accidental bedwetting, victim blaming

...

In the past few nights, Marshall had been getting nightmares. They typically weren't that bad, since he hid them pretty well from Lawrence, but they were still very vivid in his memory, and he hated them. Sometimes they were related to Lawrence subjecting him to torture, and other times they had nothing to do with Lawrence at all. However, none of them were as terrifying as this one.

"I'm back!" Marshall sobbed, running to hug his parents. His real parents.

Instead of acting with happiness as he expected, his mother pushed him away. "Do you really think we'd want you to leech off of us again? We kicked you out, did you think we'd change our minds because you got yourself kidnapped?"

Scoffing, his father added, "I don't think he even got kidnapped. From the sounds of it, you wanted it. Isn't that right? You wanted someone to coddle you because you refuse to grow up?"

Marshall rapidly shook his head, but he didn't get much of a chance to say anything before he continued.

"It's disgusting how you think we'd want you back. From the sounds of it, you love him more than you love us."

Marshall's mouth hung agape for a moment. "That's not true! You know that's not true!"

"It is," his mother hissed. "Get out before we call the cops."

Next thing Marshall knew, he ran out of his parents' house, slamming the door behind him and running down the street. He eventually stopped to catch his breath, and noticed Lawrence sadly watching him, arms wide open for a hug.

Without thinking twice, Marshall ran into his arms, crying heavily. Lawrence didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around Marshall.

"I told you this would happen," Lawrence chided gently. "Everyone hates you but me, Marshie. Everything I do for you is out of love. Come on." He dragged him away. "When we get home, I think you need a time-out in the basement."

With that, Marshall jolted awake.

He frantically looked around his room in search of any evidence Lawrence was there, but he was nowhere to be seen. Sighing in relief, he wiped away his tears and took a few deep breaths to calm himself. Just when he felt himself beginning to breathe slowly again, he felt the bed was wet. Marshall blinked away tears and threw the blanket off.

Sure enough, he had wet the bed. Marshall began hyperventilating again, trying desperately to remain quiet. What if Lawrence got angry? Realistically, he knew that wouldn't be the case, but it was always in the back of his mind.

Once he could finally calm himself, he carefully crept out of his room. Lawrence must've been asleep, because he didn't see or hear anyone else. After a few seconds of debating, he went to the bathroom and cleaned up, changing into a new pair of pajamas with shaking hands. When he checked the clock, he saw it was 2 AM. Hopefully Lawrence wouldn't hear him...

Marshall tiptoed out of the bathroom and carefully peeled the sheets off of his mattress, balling them up.

He felt so disgusting. His face burned with shame as he carried the dirty sheets and blanket to the laundry room, occasionally looking behind his shoulder just to make sure Lawrence wasn't lurking.

The washing machine made a lot of noise. It seemed deafening in the silence of the night. There was no way Lawrence wouldn't notice it.

Tears ran down Marshall's cheek at the thought of the inevitable punishment. Maybe he'd be left in the basement for two weeks instead of one. That happened last month; Marshall cried for hours until Lawrence let him out early.

"What are you doing up?"

Marshall yelped, whipping around. Lawrence's tone sounded accusatory, and so did his expression until he saw Marshall's tear-streaked cheeks in the dim light.

He didn't get a chance to ask what was wrong, Marshall was already crumpling to the floor and muttering incoherent apologies.

"No, hey," Lawrence hushed, rushing over to cradle him in his arms. "Don't cry. What's wrong?" Marshall opened his mouth to speak, but all that came out were blubbers. "Baby, why're you so sad? Please talk to me, I wanna help." He ran his fingers through Marshall's hair, which didn't seem to soothe him, judging by how loudly he wailed. "Shh..."

It took Marshall several minutes of heavy crying before he calmed down enough to actually speak. He looked up at Lawrence with those beautiful puppy-dog eyes. "I—I had an accident," he whimpered. It was too embarrassing to say he wet the bed.

Lawrence frowned sympathetically. "Oh, Marshie. Why didn't you wake me?" Marshall stayed silent, wiping away the remaining tears. "Did you think I'd be mad?"

Marshall shrugged. In hindsight, it did seem pretty stupid to worry about being judged about this from the man who was treating him like a toddler.

"I'm not mad. You know that, right? You know that nothing you do could make me love you less." He coaxed Marshall to look back up at him. "I love you so, so much. Nothing will ever change that." He brushed away some strands of hair from his forehead and gave him a kiss there. "Let's go get you a bath. Have you taken one yet?"

"No... I freaked out so I just changed my pajamas and put everything wet in the washing machine..." Marshall stared at the ground in embarrassment. "I'm sorry."

Lawrence shook his head and held him closer. "No need to apologize, buddy. You know you can always tell me things like that." Marshall didn't respond to that. "Come on, I'll give you a bubble bath!"

It was sweet he was trying to cheer him up. Marshall attempted a weak smile in return and followed him upstairs.

Once Lawrence prepared him a bath, it smelled like honey and lavender, two of his favorite scents. Marshall eagerly got in, and relaxing became ten times easier just like that. He sunk in the bathtub so it engulfed up to the base of his neck.

"Is it okay if I go check on your sheets? Just wanna make sure you did it right," said Lawrence. "If not, then I can—"

"You can go. I won't drown myself," said Marshall half-jokingly. Lawrence looked slightly worried about that. "Go, I don't mind. You can leave the door open if it makes you feel better."

After hesitating for a few more moments, Lawrence nodded and went downstairs to the laundry room. Meanwhile, Marshall hummed quietly to himself to pass the time. The scent of his bubbles made him more relaxed, and it didn't take long for his eyelids to get heavy.

The only thing keeping him from falling back asleep in the tub was knowing he'd likely make Lawrence have a heart attack.

"Okay, Marshie, I'm back." Lawrence reentered the bathroom and took a seat beside him. "Feelin' any better?"

"A little, yeah." Marshall sank into the water a bit more, making a small wave splash out.

Lawrence smiled lovingly. "Good. And the sheets should be done drying before the morning. Until then, I can make us a cool fort in the living room, or you can sleep in my room tonight? What do you think?"

Marshall thought about it for a moment. "Your bed's huge. I'll take that for tonight."

"That works for me! But first, we gotta wash your hair." Marshall pouted. "Don't pull that face with me, mister."

In all truth, Marshall didn't really care that much. He let Lawrence wash his hair and dry him off with a towel.

After drying his hair, he dressed him back in his fresh pair of pajamas and lead him to the bedroom, where he had already set up a makeshift nest of pillows and blankets on the left side of the bed. Marshall almost cried again. Lawrence was the only person who paid attention to little things like how Marshall preferred tons of pillows.

Lawrence tucked him in. "Comfy?"

Marshall nodded. A light smile formed on his face, which turned into a frown once he noticed Lawrence leaving. "Where are you going?" He realized too late how pathetic he sounded.

For a moment, he saw surprise flash across Lawrence's features. "You want me to stay?"

The brunet wasn't used to Lawrence giving him a choice in things like this. Normally, he'd demand it. Marshall hesitated and averted eye contact.

"Only if you want to... it just feels weird sleeping in here without you." He had only slept in Lawrence's room a few times before, and it was when he was usually injured or sick.

"Aw, Marshie... of course I want to be with you!" Lawrence kicked off his slippers and climbed into his side of the bed, turning off the lamp as he did so. "C'mere. I love cuddling with you." Marshall found himself listening, against his better judgment. He buried his face in Lawrence's broad chest, feeling the strong arms wrap around his back. "Still comfy?"

Marshall exhaled through his nose. "Yeah. I'm sorry for waking you."

"Stop apologizing, bud. I want you to rely on me. I'm your dad." He felt a kiss pressed onto his head.

His dad. Marshall thought back to his dream. It was definitely an exaggeration, but the emotions were real. His parents couldn't even compare to how Lawrence treated him.

He hated comparing them, but it was hard not to think of it, especially now that his parents were fresh in his mind from that nightmare.

He broke down in tears again, despite his attempts to hold them back. It felt like a dam broke.

"Oh, honey." Lawrence held him even closer. "Hey, don't cry, kiddo. Are you thinking about something? Can you talk to me?" Marshall shook his head, hoping that Lawrence would just drop it. "Can you look at me? Look at Dad." It was easier to ignore the shame in the dark. Marshall tilted his head up and saw Lawrence's azure blue eyes. "There we go. There's my boy." Lawrence kissed his forehead. "If something is bothering you, especially to this degree, I want to know."

Marshall sniffled, and for a couple of minutes, neither of them said anything. Lawrence rubbed soothing circles on Marshall's back, and Marshall hid his face in Lawrence's shoulder, trying to forget the pain.

"You'll get mad."

"Try me," Lawrence challenged.

Marshall swallowed his pride, closed his eyes, and exhaled. "I was dreaming of my parents." Lawrence's hand paused. "My biological parents," he corrected, in hopes of not making him angry. "I was returning to them... and they didn't want me. And then you were there and I ran to you, and you hugged me. You took me home. But for some reason it really shook me up. Apparently enough for me to... yeah."

He felt Lawrence sigh. He wondered if he made him angry.

"Marshall..." Lawrence was so soft with him. Gentle. It made his skin crawl. "I think sometimes dreams mean something. And I think you know, deep down inside, that if you were to return to them, that's exactly what would happen."

He hated the thought of that. That he would go back to his parents, and they wouldn't want him. Yet he believed Lawrence.

"I know you love them. And I know you miss them. And it's normal to want to see them again. But if you return to them, they'll throw you away just like they did when they kicked you out." His tone was cold, harsh, but he held Marshall with so much affection it didn't feel right. "And I'm sorry about that. It's so awful that they don't want you."

Marshall never heard Lawrence become sympathetic, but a part of him knew why. Lawrence knew damn well that he was finally starting to make sense to him. He felt Lawrence squeeze him tighter, as if he'd float away if he wasn't grounded.

"But you have me." His voice was firm. Marshall didn't dare speak. "And I love you so, so much. More than they ever will."

These emotions were overwhelming. Marshall didn't know what to do, so he settled for staying clung onto Lawrence like a koala.

Lawrence rested his chin atop Marshall's head. "It's gonna be okay, kiddo. Just fall asleep, and we'll talk in the morning, if you still want to."

Marshall could only nod.

[weird-addiction]

God is Cruel to you, Not Me.

Pairing: House of the Dragon x Male!Targaryen!Reader x Mandela Catalogue Alt Gabriel

Genre: Crossover Angst

Warnings: self-hate, self-harming, guilt, mentions of childbirth death, masochistic tendencies, forcing religion onto someone, manipulation, happy ending for reader but everyone else suffers.

A/n: Final Repost of this. This is official post of this fic. @kawaiiskeletoneggsnerd

Westeros is known for having the religion of the Faith of the Seven, the Valyrians such as the Targaryens and Velaryons. They had the Valyrian gods of old to watch over them, it was always said the Targaryens were closer to gods than to men, they say that because of their dragons.

What if, it was not the dragons that made them closer to god, what if nothing made them closer to the gods.

Well. Except for one.

Y/n Targaryen.

He was known as the younger brother of Rhaenyra Targaryen, when he was born he took the life of both his mother Queen Aemma and his older twin Baelon Targaryen. When he was old enough to understand it, he began to blame himself for killing his mother as he made his way into the world.

The other thing about Y/n is that he was a dreamer, but not just any dreamer. His dreams were not of the future or about the present, it was about something completely different. The first one started at the age of seven, it was a dream of him standing in front of a tree. In front of the tree was a red apple, it was tempting to take a bite out of it. There was a faint voice pulling him ever so slightly forward, but he woke up before he could do anything.

Then the dreams would continue every night, every time he went into the dream he would walk a step forward, inching towards the apple.

Y/n would go to talk to his father about such dreams, Viserys did not fully understand his dreams as they were not the usual dreams of Targaryens that himself has experienced. During the days in the Red Keep, he would hear voices pulling him to places, sometimes he passed out and awake in his room with him on the floor.

He would pick the dagger his uncle Daemon had gifted him during his seventh name day, then begin to make marks on his arms just to relieve the pain he felt building up.

The scars would burn at first, but then he realized he liked the burns.

This was the way he grew up, soon it felt like normal, during nights sometimes he would wake up and see a tall figure at the foot of his bed. The figure was almost as tall as his room, it wore a white robe and had curly blonde hair. Sometimes, he could have sworn he saw wings.

Rhaenyra offered to take him to the sept to pray as to maybe to take his mind off things, but once Y/n even put one foot inside the sept he felt dizzy, like something was restraining him from going inside. He pushed back the feeling and continued in anyway.

“Even though our family worships the Valyrian gods, in Westeros we still have the Faith of the Seven. We should have both as we now live on these lands.” Rhaenyra said.

Y/n stayed silent before speaking, thinking over what he was going to say. “Are there…any other religions in Westeros?” His voice was soft as he turned to his sister.

“Not that I know of.” Rhaenyra then got into a prayer position, she gestured to Y/n to follow her actions.

She then began to pray under her breath, closing her eyes as she spoke to herself. Y/n also tried, but inside his head was something different, a different prayer was said.

‘Say it.’

“My lord, bless for all as I shall never stray. For my blood should be my own, no other gods shall see me bleed.” The words fell out of his lips so easily, he had no control of what he was even saying. And before he knew it, he was done.

And that is how many years passed, the years passed before his own eyes like a blur of colors. The prayer he continued to say over and over again every single night, the tragedies that befall on others, the drama within his family never got to him. It seemed like everyone else around him was miserable, it was he was the only one that was not punished by the gods.

On Driftmark, they were there to attend the funeral of Lady Laena Velayron. He stood next to his sister and his nephews, he kind of felt bored but he gave his best stance regardless. After the speech Vaemond gave, Y/n went over to his uncle Daemon.

“Uncle.” He said.

“Nephew.” Daemon replied back.

“I’m terribly sorry for your loss, I’m sure she was a good wife.”

A smile ghosted Daemon’s lips. “The gods can be cruel, especially to your father.”

Y/n wanted to laugh at that, he pushed back the feeling of it back down. “Yes, they have. Same with my sister. And even you, uncle.”

Daemon had confusion on his mind. “And you?” He asked his nephew.

“Not that I could think of. Nothing has been bad for me in recent years.” Y/n dipped his head slightly, looking out to the ocean.

“Nothing good ever comes to us Targaryens. Every time a Targaryen is born they say the gods flip a coin. If they flipped to the good side, the bad will still be present regardless.” Daemon downed his wine from his goblet in one go.

“What if the gods are just not cruel to me?” Y/n asked with curiosity, his eyes watched the tides below.

“Why don’t you ask your cunt of a step-mother? I am sure that she knows about the ‘higher authority’. Faith and all that.” Daemon lets out a smile, in which Y/n returns to him.

“I doubt she can help me.”

—---------

He went to bed early that night, having the same dream again but this time he was right in front of the apple.

Y/n picked it up without much of another thought, then he took a bite out of it. There was a tree that was planted in front of him, and behind it, a boney pale hand reached out to him, telling him to take its hand.

His body moved on his own as he took it, then everything faded to black.

Y/n felt someone shaking him awake, it was a guard telling him something had happened. He got dressed quickly and went downstairs. Turns out his half-brother Aemond had his eye taken out.

Once he saw how Aemond was sitting in a chair getting stitches, he wanted to care but he just really could not feel any empathy for him. Once again, such events passed with flying colors as before he realized he was already back home in King’s Landing.

His sister, Rhaenyra has distanced herself and has decided to move to Dragonstone. Y/n stayed as in King’s Landing.

Time passed quickly, and soon six years went by and his sister was back to defend Luke’s claim to Driftmark. He avoided the whole thing that was happening in the throne room, he wandered off to the sept again to pray.

Y/n did not know how much time had passed, but Alicent, his step mother, had come to see him in the sept.

“I did not know you came into the sept, I always thought you and Rhaenyra worshipped the Valyrian gods.” Alicent said, walking in while her arms held each other.

“I do not know anything about the Valyrian gods of old, nor do I know anything of the Faith of the Seven. I have never even once looked at the Seven-pointed-star.” He continued to stay in the prayer position of being on his knees.

“Then why do you come into the sept, there is no reason for you to pray to.”

Y/n stood up, his eyes held a dark glint in them. “There is someone else I pray to.”

“Y/n.” He heard being called, looking over to see his sister at the arched doorway of the sept. “Nyra..” He called his sister’s nickname as she walked over.

“I knew I would find you here, though you have told me you don’t know the faith. We worship the Valyrian gods, you know that. It is our heritage.” Rhaenyra held his shoulders in a comforting manner.

“If Y/n is a prince of the Iron Throne, it is best for him to know the religion of Westeros after all.” Alicent spoke as she watched the sister and brother standing by each other.

Rhaenyra gave Alicent a harsh stare. “My brother is of Targaryen descent, from the times of Old Valyria. He should know the Valyrian gods.”

Silence ensued as the two women stared at each other. It was the prince that stood between that broke the silence.

“Then, I guess I failed as a Targaryen.”

Rhaenyra turned to look at him in confusion. “What do you mean brother?”

Y/n walked over to where the candles casted shadows onto the walls, standing in the said shadows as he clasped his hands together in a prayer position. “But now, I belong to him.” The shadows behind him begin to shift and turn into something else.

The figure the shadows shifted into was tall, the silhouette on the walls, soon three pairs of what seemed to be feathered wings sprouted from its back. The face soon had shadows cleared to show eyes and a mouth. The eyes of the shadow were stretched and the mouth was also very wide, the arch of the smile went from eye to eye.

The queen and the princess both could do nothing as they saw the shadow. The lighting soon returned to normal as Y/n turned to leave.

Over the next couple of weeks Alicent avoided her stepson like the plague, she could not get that image of them in the sept out of her mind. Everytime during meal time she prayed to the seven for their guidance and their blessing to set Y/n free of it. One night at supper, he heard her praying and leaned over to say something to her.

“You think the gods have been cruel to me?” He asked Alicent with a smile, the queen looked at him with confusion.

“Think again.” He drinks the wine from his goblet. “The gods have been cruel to you, not me.”

Y/n did not speak to her for the rest of the night, but Alicent on the other hand was even more scared than she had ever been in her life now. Is what he said true? Were the gods just cruel to her?

Y/n went on with his days as usual, until one day he saw someone new in court. A new man in court that somehow worked his way up in his father’s small council, when Y/n saw him for the first time he felt a sense of familiarity.

The male looked ethereal, like a true god that has fallen from the stars. He was tall, easily at least 6ft, blonde curly hair that shaped his face and fell around his neck and shoulders like a curtain, he had ocean blue eyes that seemed to pull him in.

The man looked too familiar to a certain someone from his dreams, the one whom he took the hand of years ago, the same hand that came from behind the tree, the one where the apple fell from. Y/n felt drawn to him at first glance, he saw the man during a small council meeting, when the council was done Y/n left fast.

Once he got back to his room, his face felt like it was burning. Deciding to get some fresh air he walked to the garden, but on the way he bumped into someone. Surprise, surprise it was the same lord that he was trying to get away from. Now that he thought about it, the lord in front of him looked too perfect, it was unnatural in a way, it was not human.

“My prince, I’m so sorry. I did not see you.” The unnamed lord held his hand out for the prince to take.

Deja Vu hit Y/n like a storm, the same hand, from the same dream, now he was sure something was wrong. He took the hand getting himself up to his feet again. “It is alright, I was just going for a walk.”

“Oh? May I join you?” The older one asked. “Of course.” Y/n could only accept the offer as he walked towards the garden again, this time with someone behind him.

Once they made it to the garden, Y/n wandered mindlessly. Until he decided to sit on one of the turf benches, the unnamed lord followed him and sat next to him.

“I have not introduced myself. I am Lord Gabriel of House Seraphthrone.” Gabriel said with a smile.

“House Seraphthrone? I have not heard of this house before? Where does it reside?” Y/n’s curiosity has now peaked.

“My house resides on the edge between the Riverlands where the Tullys are, and the north where the Starks live. But also somewhat close to where House Arryn resides.” Gabriel’s smile did not leave his face.

“Huh. I would like to see it sometime.”

They continued to talk as he escorted Y/n back to his room, but when they got there, Gabriel was hesitant to leave.

“What is it? Something wrong lord Gabriel?”

“Nothing. Just…this..” Gabriel’s hand went to the underside of Y/n’s chin, making him look at him.

“You really are beautiful..” Was all the lord said before he turned on his heels and left.

Y/n was left stunned with that, retreating back into his room and left to contemplate what in the seven hells he just went through. That was not the last time he would see Gabriel.

Throughout the next weeks and even months, Gabriel would continue to be in his company. At times, the lord would even bring the prince gifts and even new sets of robes and clothes for his wardrobe. Soon, the robes he wore of his own house were not only black and red, but also with the white robes from house Seraphthrone.

When the days went by, Y/n would continue to pray not knowing the god he prayed to was the one that hung around him all day. Slowly but surely, Y/n had begun to fall in love with the lord, and Gabriel knew this well.

Gabriel had deceived everyone within court, hell, even everyone in Westeros. No one said a single thing as his house had risen through many other houses, along with him working his way up in the King’s court. He deceived everyone’s weak minds, including the sweet prince that was so naive to pray to him when he whispered it into his ear for the first time.

But soon, he had to come clean about who he was. And when did, it was a reaction he did not expect. Y/n was practically overjoyed and hugged him tight.

“You’re the god I have been praying to? Then I guess I am one lucky dragon am I not?” Y/n said with a smile on his face.

On the inside, Gabriel now knew he had someone that could do his bidding no matter what, which means he could destroy House Targaryen from the inside. Little by little, Y/n did what was asked of him, slowly tearing the family more apart. It got to the point where he started to realize it, but what could he do now, nothing. He kind of liked it anyway.

When the blacks and the greens were very clearly divided, Y/n was on his sister’s side of course, but he also wished he was not part of this.

“Then you know what to do.” Was the only words Gabriel had said to him before leaving his chambers.

Taking heavy breaths as Y/n grabbed the dagger that sat on his nightstand, unsheathing the blade and gripping it within his hands. The dagger then went through his stomach, it was less pain than he thought it would be. And to mark the final blow, he slit his own throat.

Letting go of the weapon and as it dropped to the floor his eyes rolled to the back of his head, also falling to the floor as his blood pooled around him and under him. Taking one last breath as he closed his eyes. Gabriel then came into the room seeing the prince dead in his own blood, putting his cold hand on Y/n’s forehead as he muttered a spell. The ‘angel’ then disappeared into white mist, as the only thing left in the room was Y/n’s body that was slowly going cold and the weapon of his suicide.

Hours later, Rhaenyra went to check up on her brother only to let out a blood curdling scream. Guards and Daemon soon flocked to her side seeing the prince’s dead body, Daemon took his wife away as the guards took care of the body.

Daemon thought the greens had done it, well others say there was a traitor in the guards, very few said it was suicide. Deep down, Rhaenyra knew it was most likely suicide, no murderer would leave behind their weapon, and the dagger that they found next to him was one of the prince’s own.

The dance of the dragons would start, Rhaenyra would avenge both her son Lucerys and her brother. A son for a son, a brother for a brother.

Y/n’s spirit has been guided to a different realm, to a place that looked like heaven and paradise, but just slightly darker. This. Was Gabriel’s realm.

It allowed him to see what was going on below in Westeros, he watched the war rage on in rather amusement. He became a lover to the god he worshipped.

How sad. That everyone else had a bad ending, he had a good one.

God was indeed cruel, but not to him.

[sroop]

leave it

You didn't really know how to ask a girl out. So you just... did it your own way, I suppose, with your big eyes and open hands. Do you want to shoot deer with me?

Pairing: König x reader

Warnings: very brief, very light mention of past bullying

Summary: at one point in your life, you thought könig would be nothing but a passing character. tonight, you have decided he will be your life partner.

A/N: oops sorry, just a love letter to my fixation at the moment 😟

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When I first met you, I thought you were a dog looking for a bone. The kind of lost mongrel that you see padding along a highway, when you're going too fast to care and, by the time you do, too far gone to do anything. I wrote you off as another boy my age, only thinking he was ready for a relationship.

You didn't really know how to ask a girl out. So you just... did it your own way, I suppose, with your big eyes and open hands. Do you want to shoot deer with me?

Not really, actually, but I'd be happy to make us a dinner with what you bring back. Worked out for us anyway I guess. And even though I thought I wanted someone older, more experienced, you were actually so much more than I thought you'd be. Nervous, yes, but kind and so, so attentive. Always at my heels, happy to please.

Now here we are. You, in the dairy aisle of a supermarket I don't know the name of because I haven't quite gotten the hang of German, with your handwritten shopping list that I've scribbled a few items of my own on. You'll notice soon. Not yet, because you're too busy puzzling out the offered discounts. But soon.

Actually, I don't know why you bother with discounts anyway. You have more money than the army has bullets. Maybe that times two. But I don't say anything about it because I remember the first time we really talked, you told me about shopping with your mother.

It still makes me ache a little to imagine you cutting newspapers up for coupons, afraid not of going hungry, but that your mother would look away when you couldn't add up the right numbers. Of getting to the grumpy cashier who called you slow, every time, that you'd gotten the total wrong. I hate to see little you clench your fists, study harder, grow more and more afraid, get it wrong each time.

I know you are still a little afraid every time we go shopping. And it's ok, I won't tell anyone.

What I don't know is why you hang on. Like sometimes, I think you're even a little relieved when you're deployed. Like the time you were deployed just before my birthday, when we'd just started dating.

You, at my door, flowers in hand. All 6 feet something of you that you hunch over to hide. When you told me the news, you'd said sorry, but I knew from that look in your eyes that you wanted nothing more. War and battle you knew. A girlfriend's birthday, though, was foreign territory.

That's ok too. You came back after all, a month later, and asked me if I still wanted you. Yes, König. I still want you. Besides, you're getting better at all that stuff anyway. Getting better at letting go too.

Like yesterday, when you sidled up to me during dinner and asked, like a child with a Christmas wish, if we could celebrate our anniversary somewhere closer to home for you. Austria. In your hometown, which I never thought you'd want to return to. And as it turns out, it can be quite charming if you have a hulking boyfriend following you around clearing obstacles.

I get the sense that you're doing more than clearing my obstacles, be it the language or the money or the transportation. I sense that you're uncovering old wounds. That's why you came back last night, after I'd fallen asleep, tears on your cheeks and shaking cold hands. I don't know where you went or what you did, but I can smell in your stories the morning after that it was something at your old school. That you chose to tell me about those old bullies because you had chosen to summon them again. Fight nightmares awake instead of asleep.

Did I ever tell you that I'm proud of you? That I don't care what oddness you get up to so long as it means you can live, a day in your life, unafraid? That I only watch you count up unnecessary discounts because I know, somewhere in you, you're still trying to make your mother proud?

I put a hand over your shoulder as you make your way down the shopping list. You're finally seeing what emergency supplies I've tacked onto the end.

Your eyes are big and your mouth is open and there's nothing on Earth more excited than you. You pull your features together in a question, pitched and desperately hopeful.

"Das ist wahr? du bist schwanger?"

I play it off coolly, just a chuckle and a shrug. König, I put my hands in my pockets to hide how they shake. How equally desperate I am for that hope, no less dog than you are.

"If we get the tests, we'll know by dinner."

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thanks for reading!

[theblackhate]

Home Is Where The Heart Is | Negan Smith

check the other parts here!

Summary:

There is no longer a home, no place of comfort in that world. One survives to live, risking life to move forward and protect one's people.

But there are always two sides of the same coin. So, is the villain truly the villain? Or is He just the villain in your story?

Pairing: Negan Smith x reader

Word Count: 5.8k

No Heaven, Only Trouble

"We can’t do this!" Delilah dropped into a chair by the campfire. "As much as I find it disturbing, it's not our place, nor our decision to make."

The group fell into silence. Some agreed with the young girl, others did not. Hours had passed since they discovered the barn, and the peace they'd briefly found had vanished into thin air. Lori held Carl close, staring at the flames dancing before her eyes.

She looked up to meet her eldest daughter’s gaze, stifling a sigh when she found nothing in them. She was worried about Delilah—worried because the once vibrant teenager, full of life and promise, had lost her spark, her expression now empty and blank.

But what she hated the most was that, due to wrong choices, the mother-daughter bond was lost forever. She could no longer comfort her. Delilah pushed her away.

Carl was the only one who still seemed to love her unconditionally. Lori fought back tears, closing her eyes and resting her head on Carl's, gently stroking his back while the group resumed their heated debate.

"We’re not safe! We have to do something, or those doors will give way, and in the middle of the night, we’ll be torn apart by the dead."

Delilah’s patience was wearing thin. Lately, she felt like she was losing her mind. "Shane, does anything I say go in one ear and out the other? Damn it! We can’t just do whatever the hell we want, especially when Hershel wants us out of here as soon as possible!"

Shane turned to her, furious. "You have no right to make decisions, kid. These are adult matters! You can’t understand what’s best for the group. If we followed your idea, we'd all be dead by tomorrow morning!"

"Stop!" Dale stood up, stepping between them. "There’s no need to get worked up. We have to stay united," he sighed, taking off his hat and running a hand through what little hair remained.

Shane, still furious, sat down on one of the logs. The silence that settled over the group only made Delilah more anxious. She glanced around, trying to calm herself. She knew that snapping back at Shane, especially in his current state, wouldn’t lead to anything productive, so she bit her tongue, forcing herself to think about something else.

She reached out to stroke Orion, who was sleeping next to her chair.

After a long silence, Rick stood up and headed toward the house. No one asked him what he was going to do; instead, they all remained in their places as if any movement might spell disaster.

Delilah fixated on the flames, watching their mesmerizing dance. If she concentrated hard enough, she could make out shapes moving hypnotically within the fire.

And that’s how she fell asleep—watching the figures dance in the flames, while Orion curled up on her lap, shielding her from the early November chill. The days had grown short, colder, and the group's concern was how they'd keep warm if Hershel refused to let them into the house.

"What the hell are you doing?" Delilah jolted awake, jumping out of her chair. The sudden movement sent sharp pain through her stiff muscles. The brief peace and tranquility she'd enjoyed while half-asleep vanished as the surrounding noise rushed back to her all at once.

Orion, still sounding like a puppy, began barking at the distant commotion and his owner’s sudden movement. Delilah looked around, confused, until she spotted her group rushing toward the barn in the distance, beyond the fence.

What she saw next confused her even more. "What the hell..." She shook off her drowsiness and sprinted toward the group, now gathered in front of a chilling scene that sent a shiver down her spine.

Her father was leading a walker on a leash.

She couldn't hear the conversation yet, still too far away, with Orion following closely behind her. Her heart pounded wildly as she saw Shane pull out a gun and shoot the walker her father was leading, right in the head.

Delilah froze in her tracks, watching the scene unfold before her eyes.

The cold, dry November air clung to her skin, her breath quick and shallow as she watched an old family friend open the barn doors, releasing a small herd of walkers into the open.

Shane was the first to open fire. Moments later, Andrea grabbed a rifle, and a few others followed suit, taking the same initiative to finally put down those who the Greene family had once considered part of them.

Delilah wanted to feel something—anything—when Beth’s screams pierced the air, or when she saw the blonde girl lay down beside the body she believed to be her mother, clinging to the last shred of hope that these people could somehow return to who they once were.

But what made Delilah’s breath catch wasn’t Beth’s cries or the moment the body beside her tried to bite her. It was when the entire group’s attention snapped back toward the barn doors.

She wanted to join them, to cross the fence and hear what they were saying, to better understand what was happening. She bent down to scoop up Orion when he began whimpering and trembling, holding him tightly in her arms as another wail of despair cut through the air.

This time, it was Carol who collapsed to the ground, falling to her knees, supported by Lori. The group blocked Delilah’s view, preventing her from seeing what had caused such a reaction in the woman who was already so broken by life.

But maybe it was something Delilah didn’t want to see.

The apocalypse had changed her, just as it had changed everyone. It had hardened her, made her more pessimistic, perhaps even more indifferent than she’d been before the world fell apart. Yet, when she saw the fragile figure emerge from the barn, she felt a sharp pain in her chest.

Sophia, or what remained of her, limped out of the half-open door. The once youthful, terrified face had been reduced to decaying flesh, slowly rotting away.

Delilah didn’t want to imagine what the scene looked like up close because, even from this distance, she could see how badly the young girl had deteriorated. Carol’s sobs grew louder, not stopping until Delilah’s father, after glancing around for a moment, approached Sophia and placed the barrel of his gun to the back of her head.

A single gunshot echoed across the field, startling Orion in her arms.

When Delilah saw Carol break free from Lori’s embrace and rush to her daughter’s lifeless body, she turned away, heading back to her small spot by the fire, unable to watch the heartbreaking scene of a mother grieving over her child.

Lately, Delilah’s coping mechanism seemed to be avoidance. She no longer asked questions or involved herself in conversations, especially after her last argument with Shane. As the days went by, she spoke less and less, often spending entire days in the company of Orion, and occasionally, Carl.

Carl. Delilah had noticed his change too—a preteen forced to survive in a world like this for months. What worried her wasn’t that he was in danger—she knew Carl was tough—but that he might be shutting down emotionally, just like she was.

Since Sophia's official death, Carl had become cold toward everyone. He no longer spoke to Shane and avoided his presence altogether, snapping back at Lori and acting in ways that were entirely unlike him.

Delilah had always been good at observing people, and recently, it seemed like that was all she could do. Tensions were at an all-time high since the barn incident, and she was exhausted—exhausted by the awful situation, tired of the people around her, and weary at the thought of having to find another place to stay once her father and Glenn returned with Hershel.

Yet, perhaps she wasn’t as observant as she thought, because she hadn’t noticed Shane leave, nor had she seen him return with her mother until they parked. Confused, Delilah got up from her chair and approached them.

Andrea immediately rushed to hug Lori. "Oh my God, are you okay? We were so worried!"

Delilah eyed her mother warily before stepping aside when Carl elbowed past her to run into Lori’s arms. She lifted him off the ground, holding him tightly. "Yes, I’m fine. I was in an accident."

"She was attacked," Shane corrected, standing uncomfortably close to Lori, much to Delilah’s displeasure. Lori rolled her eyes, setting Carl back on the ground before glancing around, searching for someone in the small crowd that had gathered.

"I’m fine. Really. Where’s Rick?" she asked, worry filling her voice when she didn’t see him. She looked at Andrea, then at Maggie, who had stepped out of the house to check on the situation.

Her gaze finally landed on Delilah, distant and unfocused, as if she were looking at her from far away. "Haven’t they come back yet?"

"Not yet," Delilah replied, pulling her red leather jacket tighter around herself and stifling a yawn.

Not in the mood to stand around waiting for her father and Glenn to return, Delilah turned on her heel, ready to head back to the makeshift camp. But she was stopped by the sound of her mother’s frustrated, angry voice.

"You bastard."

"Lori—"

"He’s my husband!" she shouted, shoving Shane. The small group watched, confused and on edge, ready to intervene if Shane reacted poorly.

"Lori, I’ll go look for him!" Shane’s raised voice drew out the rest of the Greene family from the house, all of them watching nervously, fearing there was some imminent danger.

What none of them seemed to realize was that the danger was already right in front of them—one of their own. Dale glanced at Delilah, then back at the escalating scene before them.

Delilah’s body flooded with rage when Shane grabbed her mother’s arm, causing Lori to wince from the force of his grip. Before she could think, Delilah launched herself at him, grabbing his arm.

"Don’t you dare touch her, you asshole!" she growled through clenched teeth, but within seconds, she found herself on the ground. The left side of her face stung sharply, like an injection, and her ear rang for a few seconds, disorienting her. It all happened so quickly that Delilah didn’t even realize what had hit her, though hearing her mother’s screams and the shock from those around her made it easy to figure out.

A metallic taste filled her mouth as a pair of hands helped her up to her knees. Her mother knelt in front of her, reaching for her face, but Delilah recoiled, a sharp pain shooting through her left side.

"Get away," Lori snarled at someone behind her daughter. Footsteps retreated from the scene. "Are you okay, honey? I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry," she whispered in Delilah’s ear, wrapping her arms around her and stroking her hair, just as she had when Delilah was little.

━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━

In the fading light of late afternoon, the room was enveloped in a heavy, almost palpable silence. The old Dale crouched slowly toward Lori, holding a damp cloth. Her face, marked with faint scratches from the incident earlier, was fixed on Delilah, who in turn glanced at Carl standing beside her, his face tight with worry.

At twelve years old, Carl’s large, innocent eyes, which had already seen too much, betrayed a barely concealed anxiety. He kept his gaze fixed on his mother, trying to be strong as if his mere presence could ease Lori’s pain. 

“Don’t worry, Carl,” Lori murmured as Dale handed her the cloth so she could gently tend to her wounds herself. “It’s nothing serious.”

Carl nodded, but his expression remained unconvinced. He watched every move Lori made, as though fearing that even a slight touch could cause her more harm. Lori attempted to smile at him, but the tension in the air made any reassurance seem inadequate.

His eyes darted from his mother to his older sister, who sat across from him in an armchair, her expression betraying nothing. Delilah watched the scene with her arms crossed, her face flushed with the lingering anger from the earlier argument. Her irritation was not just for Lori, but for herself as well. Shane had hit her—a family friend she had once considered almost like an uncle. Her mind replayed the moment she had tried to intervene, to stop the explosive argument, and the violent response she received in return.

She had known Shane was a danger for a long time, but the fact that he had escalated to hitting her was a different matter. Shane was a ticking time bomb, and the moment when he would explode seemed closer than ever.

The silence between them was thick, and Carl couldn’t help but notice the palpable tension emanating from his older sister. He moved closer to Lori and took her hand, a simple gesture that seemed to promise his unwavering support.

Lori sighed slightly, drawing everyone’s attention. “I can’t believe Shane would do something like this,” she said finally, her voice heavy with bitterness.

“He’ll do worse,” Delilah snapped, lifting her gaze to meet her mother’s eyes. Her voice was sharp, brimming with barely contained rage. She couldn’t understand whether Lori was truly blind to Shane’s danger or too infatuated with him to see it. “He’s a threat. One of these days, he’ll do something that gets us all killed.”

Lori fell silent for a moment, her expression strained but composed. She tried to maintain a facade of calm, but the tension between them was undeniable, and Delilah could sense it. Carl, meanwhile, had not taken his eyes off his mother, his face reflecting the weight of something he didn’t fully understand.

Dale looked up from his task, his wise and weary eyes meeting Delilah’s. There was no need for words between them. Delilah knew he understood, that he shared her concerns. There was a silent understanding between them, a bond forged over time, perhaps because Dale had never been as naive as Lori seemed to be.

“Shane has his issues,” Dale said slowly, his voice calm but with a gravity that left no room for disagreement. The tone, though measured, was a warning. “But hitting someone… that’s not justifiable.”

Delilah pressed her lips together, her heart pounding. That wasn’t the point, not entirely. “It’s not just that, Dale,” she said, her voice trembling with the intensity of her emotions. “Shane is unstable. He always seems on the verge of… exploding. You can’t tell me you don’t see that too.”

Lori clenched her hands, trying to stay in control. “Delilah, it’s not that simple—”

“Yes, it is!” Delilah interrupted, her words flowing like a flood. “Lori, you refuse to see it. You want to protect everyone, but he’s a ticking time bomb, and when he explodes… we won’t be ready.”

Carl lowered his gaze, visibly shaken by his sister’s harsh words, and Lori seemed about to respond, but it was Dale who spoke up before another argument could erupt.

Delilah’s words had clearly hurt Lori, who had realized she had lost her child the moment she called her by name.

“Delilah is right about one thing,” Dale said slowly, locking eyes with Lori. “Shane is going through a rough patch, and if we’re not careful, that rough patch could become dangerous for all of us.”

Lori closed her eyes for a moment, the weight of Dale’s and Delilah’s words pressing down on her like a stone. When she opened them again, she seemed more weary. “I won’t let him hurt anyone,” she finally said, her voice low but firm. “I’ll handle it.”

The girl couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Oh really? And how?” Delilah’s tone was sharp, biting—nothing good could come from it. “I’m not sure your approach is quite suitable right now, don’t you think?”

A heavy silence filled the room, broken only by the distant ticking of a clock. Dale looked down at the floor for a moment before slowly rising, as if his bones were burdened with unbearable weight. He exited the room, unwilling to participate in the family argument he had tried to avoid.

“Delilah—”

“No!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air and leaping out of the chair. “No! You can’t say anything! You’re putting yourself and Carl in danger just because you can’t control yourself! None of this would have happened if you hadn’t gotten so close to him in a moment of weakness!”

Lori’s eyes filled with tears, humiliated by her daughter’s words. But the harshness didn’t stop there. “Because that’s what you are. Weak.” Delilah jabbed her finger at Lori’s chest before storming out of the room, her anger surging through her veins as she slammed the front door behind her, ignoring Orion’s cheerful greeting on the porch.

She sat on the porch steps, stroking Orion’s soft fur and shivering as she heard footsteps approaching, too familiar to ignore. She didn’t need to look up to know who it was. Shane stopped briefly in front of her before passing by without a word and entering the house.

She watched him go, the door closing behind him, and made herself a promise. 

If Shane wasn’t dead by the end of the weekend, she would ensure it herself. And that’s how she fell asleep, plotting the death of someone who had once been a core part of her life.

The next morning, Delilah woke up still sitting on the porch steps as a car approached and stopped a few meters away from her. It took her a moment to adjust her vision to the sunlight, but as soon as she recognized her father emerging from the car, she sprang to her feet, ignoring the slight dizziness she felt, and rushed to meet him.

Rick enveloped her in his arms, pressing a kiss to her head. "You're here," Delilah whispered against her father's chest, her voice cracking with exhaustion and emotion. For a moment, all the pain, anger, and fear seemed to dissipate. In that instant, she was simply a daughter in her father's arms, finding a safe haven in a world that seemed increasingly unstable.

Rick held her tightly, sensing the tension in her body. He was tired too, weighed down by everything that had been happening, but he tried not to show it. "Everything will be okay," he murmured in a deep, reassuring voice. "I'm back."

Delilah clung to those words, as if they could really bring order to the chaos surrounding them. But deep down, she knew Rick's return wouldn't solve everything. Not with Shane, not with the mounting tensions. Still, in that moment, it didn’t matter.

Within seconds, the sound of the engine and Rick's presence woke the rest of the group. The doors of the house flew open, and those who had been outside rushed to meet them. Lori was the first to arrive, with Carl right behind her, his face a mix of anxiousness and hope. From the porch, Dale descended with a calmer pace, but there was a look of relief in his weary eyes.

Delilah slowly detached herself from Rick's embrace and turned just in time to see Glenn stepping out of the car, visibly exhausted but relieved. He pushed back the sweat-soaked hair from his forehead and gave a nod to the others, a half-smile that couldn’t completely hide his fatigue.

From the passenger seat, Hershel emerged more slowly. His gnarled hands braced against the doorframe for leverage as he climbed out with a serious but determined expression. The journey seemed to have taken its toll on him, but his confident gaze at Rick and the others spoke of his commitment to help, just as he always had.

Lori moved closer to Rick and hugged him tightly, while Carl clung to his father's jacket, seeking comfort. "You found Hershel," Lori murmured, her voice a mix of relief and concern.

Rick nodded, looking intently at his wife. "Yes, he's with us. We have a lot to discuss."

Glenn approached Delilah, giving her a light pat on the shoulder, a silent gesture of support. "Everything okay here?" he asked softly, noticing the faint bruise forming on her cheek, though his attentive gaze sought answers in the expressions of those who had stayed behind.

As Rick tried to recover from the intensity of the moment and Hershel approached slowly with Glenn by his side, a growing tension began to permeate the group. Lori, Dale, and Carl exchanged questioning glances, noting that Rick, Glenn, and Hershel seemed more worried than expected.

It was Delilah who first noticed something strange. The car trunk wasn’t completely closed, and a faint vibration was coming from inside. She moved closer, her heart pounding in her chest. As she reached for the trunk to open it fully, Glenn tried to stop her with a quick "Wait!" — but it was too late.

The trunk swung open entirely, revealing a young man inside, bound and with a dirty cloth around his mouth. His eyes were wide with terror, and he struggled weakly to free himself. Delilah took a step back in shock, and in an instant, the rest of the group gathered around the trunk, their faces a mix of disbelief and concern.

“Who the hell is this?” Dale asked, his voice rough and incredulous, his face etched with concern.

Rick stepped forward, his expression tight. “His name is Randall,” he said, keeping his gaze fixed on the young prisoner.

Lori’s voice was filled with disbelief. “Rick, what’s going on?”

Hershel spoke up, calm but with a serious tone. “He was involved in a bad incident; we had to help him… but the problem is, he’s not alone.”

Delilah stared at the young man, her heart pounding even harder. “What do you mean? Where does he come from?”

Glenn cleared his throat, searching for the right words. “He’s from a group… an armed group. We don’t know how many there are or where they are exactly, but we have reason to believe they could be dangerous.”

Carl, who had been silent until then, stepped forward, looking at Randall with wide eyes. “And what are we going to do with him?” he asked, his voice full of curiosity as he watched the young man lose consciousness.

Rick clenched his jaw. “We need to decide. We can’t just let him go without knowing if he’ll bring his group here.”

A heavy silence fell over the group. Each member looked at Randall, but also at each other, searching for answers that no one seemed ready to give.

In the living room of the house, the atmosphere was charged with tension. Everyone had gathered around the central table, except for Delilah, who stood in a corner of the room with her arms crossed and her gaze fixed on the group.

Her father’s face was marked by worry, while Rick took his place at the center, his expression grave.

Randall had been locked in the cabin a short distance from the house, at a safe distance, after Hershel had to tend to a deep wound that wouldn’t stop bleeding.

“We can’t let him go,” Rick said firmly, breaking the silence. His tone was authoritative but heavy with responsibility. “If we do, he might return to his group and lead them here. We don’t know how many there are or what they’re capable of.”

Glenn, sitting next to him, nodded. “Rick’s right. We can’t take the risk. His group could kill us all. We need to think about our safety.”

“The bar, in town,” the old man began, “we heard them talking. They seem to be a large, disorganized group. We can’t underestimate them.”

Dale clasped his hands, his face pale with anxiety. “But we can’t kill him. We can’t... become like that,” he said, his voice trembling yet resolute. He looked at Rick with intensity, as if searching for a shred of humanity in this desperate situation. “There’s always another solution.”

“What solution, Dale?” Shane interjected, leaning against the wall, his gaze fixed defiantly on Rick. “There’s no time for half measures. This kid knows where the farm is. If we let him go, it’s only a matter of time before he returns with armed men. We need to do what’s necessary.”

Lori, sitting next to her husband, removed her hand from her mouth and looked at Shane in confusion. “How do you know that?”

Rick looked to Hershel, the head of the household, waiting for him to confirm what he had told them in the car. “Randall knows our family, or at least he knows Beth and where she lives. They went to school together and he’s from the area. It didn’t take him long to recognize me despite the severe blood loss.”

Delilah, in the corner of the room, followed the conversation with keen eyes, saying nothing. She was there, a silent and invisible presence, but every word echoed in her mind. She bit her lower lip, her hands pressed tightly against her chest. Shane, as always, was direct, but there was something unsettling in his manner. It wasn’t just concern for safety. It was something darker.

It was a thirst for control and power over everything and everyone.

Dale raised his hand, cutting through the argument. “Hold on a minute.” His voice was calm but laden with a wisdom that could not be ignored. “We can’t make a decision like this so quickly. We’re still human, or at least we should be. Killing this boy... it’s not justifiable. We don’t even know if his group will come looking for him.”

“We can’t afford to make mistakes,” Shane retorted, his tone growing harsher. “Dale, you’re living in the past. We’re not in that world anymore. We need to protect ourselves. We have to be realistic.”

Then T-Dog spoke up, his voice low but resolute. “Maybe we can find a remote place and leave him there. Without means to return or dangerous weapons. We give him a chance, but not enough to pose a threat.”

Rick considered those words for a moment, but Shane shook his head in disapproval. “That’s just another waste of time. He could still survive and come back with others.”

The debate continued, with voices rising, creating a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.

Delilah, however, remained silent, watching the chaos unfold before her. Inside, she felt a mix of fear and anger. Her heart pounded harder every time Shane spoke. There was something wrong with him, something that made her increasingly uneasy.

Eventually, Rick stood up from his chair, his decision etched on his drawn face. “We’ll decide tomorrow morning,” he said with a firm tone, looking at each of them. “Tonight, we keep him locked up. No one does anything until we’re all in agreement.”

The voices quieted, but the atmosphere in the room remained tense, as if an inexorable time bomb was ticking away.

The next day arrived with an eerie stillness. The morning air was crisp, but there was a palpable tension hanging over the house. 

No one had slept well, and each step seemed heavier than usual, laden with the weight of the decisions they had to face. The sunlight filtered hesitantly through the windows, almost reluctant to illuminate the scene that was about to unfold.

In the living room, Rick, Lori, Shane, Dale, Glenn, and Hershel had gathered again. Delilah was already there, as she had been the night before, seated in the corner and watching in silence.

She had spent the night in a state of wakefulness, her thoughts in turmoil. The idea that everything was on the verge of collapsing wouldn’t leave her mind. And damn, if her intuition wasn’t spot on.

Rick was the first to speak, his voice heavy and resolute. “We’ve all had time to think about this,” he said, looking at each face present. “We can’t ignore the risk. Randall knows our location, knows where we are. But we can’t make a decision without considering the consequences.”

Shane, who had never had much patience for long discussions, stood up abruptly, shaking his head. “We’ve already talked enough, Rick. Randall has to die. End of story. If we let him go, we’re all dead. He’s a threat, and you know it.”

Dale, as he had the day before, raised his hand to stop Shane. “Hold on, Shane. Killing a kid like this, in cold blood... we can’t do it. It would make us monsters. We need to find an alternative.”

The tension between the two men was palpable, as if each word could spark a dangerous flashpoint. Rick looked between them, trying to find a balance between their positions. But it was clear that the decision was wearing him down.

Delilah was exhausted. Exhausted by the arguments, the increasingly difficult moral choices, the people around her who seemed incapable of seeing what was really happening. It was as if no one wanted to admit that, in the end, they had all changed. Their humanity was fragile, hanging by a thread, and she no longer knew what to cling to.

She slowly stood up from her chair in the corner of the room, trying not to draw attention. No one noticed her movement. They were all too engrossed in discussing Randall, the risk he posed, and what they should do.

Delilah quietly slipped out the door, closing it softly behind her. She took a deep breath, savoring the fresh morning air. A day away from it all. She needed to escape, even if just for a few hours.

Outside, Orion was waiting for her. She petted him on the head, feeling his soft fur between her fingers. “Let’s go, buddy,” she whispered, and together they headed towards the woods surrounding the Greene farm.

The sun climbed high in the sky as Delilah walked through the forest, finally feeling some semblance of peace. The leaves crunched under her feet, and the wind rustled the trees above her. Orion ran ahead, exploring, his tongue lolling out in excitement. 

Delilah no longer thought about the tension in the house. She no longer thought about Shane, Rick, or the moral dilemma regarding Randall. She was alone, at least for a while, and that was enough.

She spent the day wandering aimlessly, following the winding trails of the woods. She sat by a stream to drink some water, watching Orion play with the stones in the water. Time seemed to stand still.

But as the sun began to set, an odd sensation crossed her skin. A sudden shiver. She looked around, noticing the forest growing darker, and with it, a sense of danger seeped into her heart.

“It’s time to go back,” Delilah whispered, her voice almost breaking the silence around her. Orion, her loyal pup, followed immediately, but there was something strange in the air. Something... wrong.

Every step she took towards the farm seemed heavier, as if the forest itself were closing in on her. The familiar sounds of the wind through the leaves had changed. There were no birds singing anymore, only the unsettling rustling of branches.

The air had grown thick, suffocating. Then she heard it: a low, guttural groan. Her blood ran cold. It was a sound she knew all too well.

She froze, her heart pounding in her chest. A walker.

Without thinking, she began to walk faster, trying to hold back the panic rising within her like a dark wave. Her steps quickened, but not fast enough.

Another groan. This time, it was closer. Too close. Orion began to growl, his hackles raised. Delilah spun around, and what she saw took her breath away: two walkers were emerging from the trees, their grotesque, twisted forms illuminated by the last rays of the dying sun.

Terror struck her like a punch to the stomach. "Run!" she screamed internally, but the voice in her head sounded too weak, smothered by horror. With Orion by her side, she started to run, but the ghastly groans of the walkers never ceased. Each step felt more arduous, more painful. The sound of the walkers dragging through the dry branches was an unshakable nightmare.

Her heart pounded so violently she feared it might burst. She leaped over tangled roots, dodged branches whipping her face, but the walkers never stopped. They were slow, yes, but relentless. Every time she looked back, they were there, getting closer. Their twisted hands reached out toward her, hungry for flesh.

When she finally glimpsed the farmhouse in the distance, relief swiftly turned to horror. Flames. She saw them even from afar, enormous and voracious. The tongues of fire enveloped the house, consuming everything.

Her breath caught in her throat, and her legs trembled. "Dad!" she cried out in desperation, but her voice was swallowed by the crackling flames. "Lori! Carl!" No response. Only the chilling sound of the fire devouring everything and the hissing wind carrying the acrid smell of ash.

Delilah ran, ignoring the pain burning her muscles and the tight knot in her chest. When she reached the yard, the scene that greeted her was worse than any nightmare.

Walkers wandered amidst the flames, stumbling like infernal shadows, grotesque and made more monstrous by the firelight. The farmhouse was devastated. There was no one. No sign of the group. Only destruction and death.

Orion barked furiously, trying to keep the walkers at bay, but Delilah couldn’t focus. The world around her was a distorted chaos. Where was her father? Where was Lori? What the hell had happened?

She searched desperately through the debris, her hands trembling as she rummaged through the charred remains. Every corner of the farmhouse was a heap of wreckage. The barns had collapsed, and the animals were gone. Smoke burned her throat; each breath felt like a fiery assault on her lungs.

But what was most suffocating of all was the silence. An eerie silence, broken only by the guttural sounds of the walkers and the relentless crackle of the flames. She was alone. Completely alone.

Orion continued to growl, but Delilah could no longer think clearly. The horror, fear, and anguish overwhelmed her. As the flames grew higher and the walkers drew nearer, she realized that this world had collapsed. There was nothing left. Nothing and no one.

She looked around with the dreadful awareness that she would die there, in that moment, if she didn't leave, but she couldn't risk abandoning her family behind. Assuming they were still alive.

She tried calling out their names again, but to no avail. Until she heard the distant rumble of an engine.

For half a second, a huge smile spread across her face, comforted by not being left behind, until she saw the camper heading in the opposite direction. She screamed at the top of her lungs, running towards the camper and waving frantically to be seen, but the white vehicle just accelerated away.

They had abandoned her.

Now, it was just her, the fire, and the encroaching darkness.

[autisticlancemcclain]

When Shiro hears news of his mother’s death, his first thought is good riddance.

His second thought is fuck. Loudly, and repeated many times in his head. And out loud. In the middle of the night, sitting straight up in bed, startling his fiancé awake.

“T’kashi?” he mutters, eye squinted as he blindly pays the bedside table for his glasses. “What’s going on?”

Shiro’s mouth works on autopilot. “It’s my mother.”

As it always does when she is brought up, which is frequently due to her many life decisions, Adam’s face wrinkles as if he just bit into something very sour.

“Oh. What the fuck is she up to now?”

“Uh, the afterlife.”

Adam’s face freezes. Shiro chokes down hysterical laughter. It doesn’t work, and comes out kind of reedy and strangled.

“Mr. Shirogane,” comes the tinny voice from his phone, and Shiro startles.

“Oh, shit, yes. Sorry. Um. I wanted to ask about my brother. Where is he? When can I pick him up?”

There’s a hesitance from the other end that Shiro doesn’t like. He sits up straighter, if at all possible, and Adam’s face hardens — it has been a four year long fight, with his mother, to try to get Keith over as often as possible for even an ounce of stability, and not a fight they have won very frequently, but it is not one they’re willing to give up. Shiro has no doubt that the state will fight just as hard as his mother did.

Adam and Shiro will simply fight harder.

“The safety of the child is the state’s first concern,” the lawyer says neutrally.

“Great. Give me an address and twenty minutes, then, and I’ll bring him right home.”

The lawyer’s voice is steely. “He is home, with a lovely young couple who are happy to have him.”

“There is a lovely young couple who he is related to and whom he has familiarity with right here,” Shiro grits out. “Tell me where my brother is.”

The lawyer waits a moment. “It might be a difficult transition, you know. It would be nice for Keith to have a mother and a father, for once.”

Before Shiro can even blink, a hand reaches over and snatches the phone right from his face, and Adam throws it open onto the bedspread, presses speaker, and sets off.

“You listen here, you gristly assed motherfucker. Takashi has the right of next of kin. Failing proof of neglect or abuse, which you have tried and failed to invent on our end so many times the court as all but banned you from trying again, Keith is legally required to be placed in our home should Shirogane Saori be found incapable of care. And, as you can imagine, lying on a table in a morgue renders one quite incapable. If you don’t provide an address clearly and concisely in the next fifteen seconds, I will sue not only you and your firm, but you mother, your father, your children, and you dusty tailor, you ugly brown suit wearing hetero. Are we understood?”

There’s another stretch of silence, wherein despite the gravity of the situation Shiro considers proposing to his fiancé again, before the lawyer finally speaks.

“…Group home on 4th and King.”

“Thank you,” Adam says tersely, and slams the phone closed. He scoffs at it. “Fucking jackass. Someone should kill him.”

Shiro snorts. Then he giggles. Then he starts laughing, and then he can’t stop, and he laughs so hard tears come to his eyes, and then they don’t stop, either, and his breath hitches and a lump forms in his throat and his whole face starts to get itchy. Adam pulls him into him immediately, cradling him into his lap like he’s a child, and he goes without resistance because it’s Adam doing to holding, and because he doesn’t know where this sadness is coming from. He has hated his mother for more years than he has loved her. The only time he’s thanked her for anything in the last eight years was one he held Keith in the hospital, skipping his first day of high school to do it. She has been crueler than kind to him for most of his life.

But she was his mother, in many ways. In all ways except the ones that mattered. And apparently that counts for something.

“We need to go,” Shiro whispers, trying to lift his head. Adam gently presses it back into his neck, holding his arms around him.

“It’s four in the morning, starshine. Maybe we wait a few hours?”

“No.” The hoarseness of his own voice makes him wince. “He can’t…Adam, I don’t even like my mother, and look at me. Keith is going to be inconsolable. She carted him around like a baby doll. He loved her.”

Adam winces. He knows it’s true as much as Shiro does. Their mother’s erratic lifestyle has gifted Keith an assortment of attachment issues, as evidenced by the tantrums whenever she dropped him off at their apartment when she was bored.

Not that Keith understands the issue. Because he is four, and because he has gone through more things in his four years of life than many children will before they are even ten, but not enough to stop thinking his mother is the most important person on Earth.

Quickly they dress, shoving in whatever clothes are near without worrying about looking presentable. They don’t bother with much more than brushing their teeth, skipping shaving and breakfast and coffee in favour of speeding to the parking garage.

It only takes them fifteen minutes to get to the group home the lawyer has mentioned, and they waste no time in rushing up the steps, uncaring of social norms or etiquette as they ring the doorbell and stand fidgeting at the front door.

It takes a long time for the door to open. Shiro can’t help feeling like that is intentional.

“What,” barks the man at the door, as if their intent isn’t expressly obvious given the circumstance.

“I’m here to pick up my brother,” Shiro says as politely as he can manage. “Keith?”

“He’s sleeping,” says the man, who Shiro presumes is one of the foster parents running the home. “Come back tomorrow.” He tries to slam the door shut, but before he can register his own movement Shiro is slamming his hand against the door. The wood cracks under his palm.

He doesn’t bother saying anything. He doesn’t have it in him. He simply shoves the door open, sending the man stumbling, and strides in, remembering at the last second to try and keep quiet so as to not wake any other sleeping children. It takes him three tries to find the right room, but when he finally swings open the right door he knows, from the very second he sees the lump of blankets on the bottom bunk in the far right corner. He stands frozen for a moment at the door, watching his baby brother breathe, seeing the dried tear tracks on his face, the stutter of his breaths and shake of his chest. His thumb is firmly in his mouth, a habit he’s had broken for two years.

Shiro’s eyes begin to leak again. He feels Adam squeeze his bicep once in comfort, then wordlessly he walks off, gathering the messy scattering of Keith’s things into a large backpack. Trusting him to know or guess what belongs to his brother — all largely things they’ve bought him — Shiro approaches the bed, kneeling carefully at the edge of it. He reaches out and brushes Keith’s hair out of his face, gliding his thumb across his forehead. It wrinkles as Keith wakes, squinting his eyes up at Shiro in grogginess and confusion. It takes him a moment to register what’s going on, but Shiro knows the exact second it does, because his indigo eyes go blank the way they do when Keith is so far overwhelmed he can’t even come close to starting to process how he feels. Shiro braces himself for whatever vitriol, likely directly quoted from their mother, is about to come out of his mouth.

“I don’t want you,” Keith cries. He makes a sound in the back of his throat, cracked and strained; a long, keening cry. His face twists up and he glares at Shiro in what can only be described as betrayal, as if it’s Shiro’s fault their mother is gone, as if it was Shiro’s evil plan to take her away forever so he can never go back.

He wouldn’t even be surprised if that’s what their mother has told him. It hurts anyway.

“I know,” he chokes out, hushed. He brushes his thumb over Keith’s forehead again, slow, from temple to temple, and to his surprise his brother leans into it slightly as his breaths hitch with sobs. “I know, baby.”

He exchanges a look with Adam, who, God Shiro loves him so much, understands immediately: they have ten minutes.

Two years ago, when their mother dropped Keith off at his doorstep one day and fucked off to Atlanta for a week, Shiro decided enough was enough. Keith was convinced she was coming back to get him every morning and was devastated when she didn’t. It was an endless, sisyphian cycle. Shiro took the day off school, took his limited funds, and brought Keith to a paediatric specialist. It was of course not the most thorough evaluation, as that was something that could only be done with time, but there was almost definitely some valuable input. Shiro learned, in harried, layman’s terms, that their mother’s flakiness meant Keith always believed he was about to be left behind. Her babying of him lead him to believe that he was at fault when that happened. When he was actually happened, he was prone to tears and affection, trying to win back his mother, trying to prove that he was a good enough baby doll for her, basically.

And if that doesn’t work…well. Then the hurt and the anger start, and God knows how long it will last.

“Ten minutes,” Adam mutters, stuffing one last thing into the backpack and shoving it over his shoulders. “Let’s go.”

Taking the blanket with him, because fuck these guys, Shiro lifts his baby brother up, holding him tightly to himself, pressing his face into his neck. He starts to powerwalk down the hallway back to the front door, Adam close behind him. He vaguely hears the same man who opened the door start to argue with them, start to try to stop them, and he trusts Adam to handle it, because all he can hear in his head is a countdown. If they don’t make it to the car in time and Keith starts really wailing, they are going to take him away, and Shiro knows he will never get fucking visiting rights because the family court system is the most broken thing in America, and Keith will be shoved into some random group home that doesn’t care about him and won’t care about him and he’ll be treated like shit or worse not treated like anything at all, and he will grow up thinking that there is no one who loves him and no one to turn to and Shiro will never forgive himself or his mother or the world.

He needs to get his brother to the car.

He rushes down the beaten down concrete steps as fast as he can while still being careful in the dark. The car is half a block away, the only place they could find parking, and he starts to jog, ignoring the ache in his arms. He’s held Keith for longer. At the seven minute mark, he registers yelling voices and a door slam and Adam’s rapid footsteps behind him, and by the ninth they make it to their beat up piece of shit fourth-hand car, throwing open the back door, setting Keith down gently, bucking the kid in as quickly as they can manage.

Shiro has lost count of how much time they have, if they have any at all. His heart pounds so rapidly he can feel it everywhere in his body. He’s bitten the inside of his cheek so harshly he can taste blood. He feels like he’s gonna throw up.

He’s barely thrown a seatbelt on by the time Adam shifts into gear and tears out onto the busy street, cars honking at him. Shiro meets his eyes in the rearview mirror, trying to find strength in his look, in his support. He tries to tell himself that the worst part is over, now; Keith is with him, beside him in the back seat, Keith is going to stay with him forever, now, he is going to make his baby brother’s life stable from now on. They are starting to swim their way out of the deep end.

And then the wailing starts.

It’s loud. Keith takes a huge, deep breath, then lets out a noise that Shiro can only describe as agonised, so big and heavy that it pulls on his little body, straining against the seatbelt. His face is bright red from the force of it, and Shiro can count his teeth with how wide open his mouth is. Bizarrely, Shiro wonders if he’s loud enough for the windows to break, or their eardrums. He’s not sure if his own pain comes from his ears or his heart.

“I want my mama!” Keith sobs, shouts, screams, cries. “I want my mama! I want my mama!”

“I know,” Shiro whispers again, for what feels like the millionth time that night. Between Keith’s stuttering breaths Shiro hears Adam’s soft cries, looks up to see tears streaming down his face. He’s surprised to find his own face dry as a bone, the lump in his throat he’d felt earlier completely disintegrated. He feels hollowed out. “I know, Akira. I know. I know.”

Shiro wonders if this is what it feels like to drown.

[klbwriting]

Surface Tension

Chapter 8: Shot at the Night

Fandom: Aquaman

Pairing: Ormxfemale!Reader

Warnings: none

Summary: Orm can't do much to help Y/N but he does find someone who can

Note: song is 'Shot at the Night' by the Killers

Taglist: @hyperagitatedcydonian13 @gabrieleskywalker @philiasoul @duchcess

We’re breaking all the rules To find that our home Has long been outgrown Throw me a lifeline Cause honey I’ve got nothing to lose Once in a lifetime

“Why did you settle by the ocean if you’re so afraid of water?” Orm asked, sitting on the back porch with Y/N, watching the waves under the moonlight. She was strumming, singing one of her songs. He was starting to recognize them by now and he knew she sang this one because he liked it. She looked at him and shrugged.

“I used to love the water, felt free and happy in it,” she said. “I told you I was accused of something that I didn’t do. I do bare some responsibility for it though, even though it was an accident. Ever since then, I don’t want to go back into the water, but I can’t let myself forget that day. Part of me wonders if it was my fault.” She stopped strumming and set the guitar aside, wrapping a blanket around herself.

“Did you want someone to get hurt?” he asked. She shook her head. “Not your fault, you shouldn’t stay here feeling guilty. What I did…I wanted to hurt people, all of the pain I caused was because I was angry. You didn’t have that malice.” He looked at the water before looking down at his hands. She reached out and put her hand on his arm, instantly calming him.

“Do you remember feeling like that?” she asked. “Do you ever feel like that now?” He shook his head. “Have you tried to make things right?”

“Yes, I’m trying,” he whispered. She smiled at him and squeezed his arm.

“You’ll get there, let the guilt go, but keep becoming better. I’ll help you, we are better together,” she said.

Orm startled awake, the memory fading from his dream to his waking nightmare. He didn’t know when he had fallen asleep, sometime right before dawn. Last he remembered his mother and Arthur were still there making plans on finding some kind of proof of who tried to kill Orm. The footage was enough to clear Y/N of active treason, but she still could be held for conspiracy. Conspiracy to commit treason was a capital offense in Atlantis and she could still be executed if they didn’t find and get a confession from the culprit.

He was alone now with a note from Arthur that they had left to find proof in Atlantis. Arthur planned to talk to Hendrix and Atlanna was going to talk to Y/N. Orm went over to Y/N’s place. He hated to invade her privacy but maybe she had something. He started searching, trying to ignore that her bed was still unmade from where they had been together, her same clothes from her birthday on the floor around it.

“There has to be something,” he muttered to himself as he went through her closet. He moved some boxes out of the bottom and saw a small door, probably another small storage area behind the wall. He was able to pry it open and inside was a bag. He pulled it out and sat on the floor, looking through it slowly. He pulled out the mosaic of her and her father. It was cheap but well made, a product of the lower city where technology to film wasn’t as widely available. He set it aside carefully. Next came out a flyer for Atlantis for All, listing their goals as equal status, better living conditions, and fairness in the workforce. Orm remembered his father telling him that all those below the nobility were lazy, they just wanted people to hand them money and food without doing anything for it. At the time he had agreed, but this notice listed things that anyone would need to survive and thrive, which is what he thought his father wanted for all Atlantians. He set it aside also and pulled out a stack of papers. This was what he needed, letters to and from different people in AfA.

I work from morning until night, I never see my family, yet they still starve…

My mother died because we couldn’t get her a proper doctor, the nobility never have to worry…

My father died of the sickness King Orvax released when I was a child. King Orvax made me an orphan…

We can fix this. There is a way. King Orm’s coronation is on the first day of the Great Migration…

Here is what he needed. He read through the letter, it laid out a plan to protest, nothing else. They were to have Y/N sing, and Hendrix volunteered to bring the cracker. This was almost enough, but Orm needed something else. Aria was mentioned as one of the leaders of the group. He had to find her; she might have more proof.

Orm wasn’t sure where else to go so he went to the café. It was empty except for Y/N’s friends when he arrived. They were all glaring at him. When he walked in Dean came up and punched him in the face. It didn’t hurt, but Orm wasn’t expecting it and stumbled back a step. Dean was shaking his hand, wincing. He had probably broken a couple fingers. Aria pushed past him.

“Get out tyrant,” she demanded. Orm stood his ground. “We know you did something to her, no one can find her.”

“I didn’t do anything, but Hendrix took her back to Atlantis to face trial for treason,” he said. Aria froze.

“You’re lying, you gave her up,” she said, but her voice lacked conviction.

“If I gave her up I would be on my way to trial too. I’m a fugitive just as much as the two of you,” he said. “We need proof that Hendrix was the one who tried to kill me. I found a letter in her things with the plan for the coronation day, it says Hendrix was to get the cracker, but we need more than that, anything that makes it sound like he alone planned the attempt.” Aria was breathing deep, trying to remain calm.

“How do we know you won’t just take the evidence and destroy it?” Vincent called out. “What if you want to use her to get yourself pardoned?” Orm didn’t have time for this bullshit.

“Because I love her!” he yelled. “Because she is everything to me and I won’t stand by while they execute her. I can’t go back, no one will believe me if I say she is innocent, I’ll just get thrown in a cell next to her, but my brother is king. If I am able to get proof to him he can set this right.”

Aria watched his speech and nodded before motioning for him to come with her. She lived only a few houses down from the café and she also had a bag full of letters. She kept meticulous records and correspondence, including from Hendrix. Hours later she jumped up.

“I found something,” she said, setting the letter down in front of Orm at her kitchen table. By then everyone had joined them, watching. “This is from Hendrix, the day before the coronation. I think I received it by mistake. I never read it because well, I hated Hendrix and anything he had to say was worthless to me.” She pointed to a spot that clearly incriminated him.

“These people are idiots. They’re going to give me the crown and not even realize it. Tomorrow Orm will be dead and I’ll be king,” Orm read. This was perfect.

“Bless that asshole’s giant ego,” muttered Amanda from the couch. Orm stood and hugged Aria.

“I know you hate me but thank you,” he said. He looked between her and Dean. “I am sorry for the tidal wave, for everything. I was wrong and I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for it.” He left it at that, hurrying out of the house and calling Arthur to tell him he had proof.

[tooosterduos]

The way things go. | D.Grayson

Pairing: Dick Grayson x fem!black canary daughter!reader

Warnings: swearing, ANGST/fluff?, self doubt, doubt of a child, happy ending WHOOP WHOOP!

A/n: I’m on an angst kick lately.. I adore dick and this is most likely not something he’d do but it’s fine! Enjoy 😛

The team arrived at mount justice, your chest filling with guilt, insecurity, and so much more. Upon arrival the first thing you saw, was your mother.

“Y/n..” she trialed, “I’m disappointed.” she spoke again before walking off, leaving you with your thoughts. The rest of the team joined you, Artemis putting a reassuring hand on your shoulder. She’d been in your position before, she knew exactly how you felt.

“We’re disappointed to say the least.” Bruce began, “You had one job, and you failed miserably at it.” he continued, looking dead into your eyes. “We gave you a chance to prove yourself as a leader, and you proved our suspicions correct. Y/n..as much as I want to believe in you, I physically can’t. You had one job, complete the mission. Instead your team spent the whole time arguing about your orders.” Canary huffed.

God, if only she wasn’t my mother. You thought to yourself.

“I’m sorry I was busy covering your sidekicks ass. If he didn’t question my judgement so often then we wouldn’t even be in this situation!” You grunted as you glared at Bruce, “Oh now it’s my fault? If I remember correctly, you were the one who told us to split up! I said, “why not go in pairs” but no! We always have to listen to the princesses orders, otherwise shit hits the fan!” Dick retorted at your statement.

“Princess?” Wally cackled, “shut up speedy.” You growled, “I’m a “princess” now because I actually want to get things done?” You mocked at Dick.

“No you’re a princess because you expect everyone to wait on you hand and foot! News flash, I’m not doing it. Kaldur might do it, Conner might do it, Artemis, M’gann, Zatanna, and everyone else might, but not me! I’m not sure how you grew up, and I don’t quite care because things are different now! You need to grow up and stop expecting everyone to just listen to you!” Dick growled at you before walking off.

“No you don’t get to walk away!” You yelled, eyes glowing a dark shade of purple. “Y/n calm down.” Your mother said as she stood in front of you, attempting to sooth you.

You moved around your mother and took off towards the direction Dick had left in. He made your blood boil, him and his stupid blue eyes.

Trailing behind him, you notice he walked into his room. Which was conveniently placed right next yours, you decided to give up before you attacked him.

Moving the decorative pillows, you laid down on your queen bed. You hated him, you hated his gorgeous blue eyes, you hated the way he looked at you, you hated the way he would put his hand on the small of your back while you were standing on anything somewhat unstable, you hated him because he was so perfect.

You cried into the pillow next to you, why was he acting like this? It made you feel worthless. Were you really as bad as he said you were?

Your mind raced, what if he was right? What if you were a princess, spoiled and stubborn, only listening to yourself and no one else. Tears streamed down your face at the thought of him being right, did that mean that everyone felt the same way?

The next morning was worse. You’d tumbled out of bed, not even bothering to put yourself together like you’d always had. You knew you looked like a wreck, you didn’t care though. The sound of your slippers were heard from the kitchen, “sleeping beauty is awake.” You heard Artemis giggle as you got closer to the kitchen.

The moment you walked in, you smelt it. His cologne, then you saw him, he stood at the island, drink in hand. He looked gorgeous. The moment you saw him you darted back to your room.

“Guess not?” Wally asked, giving Artemis a shrug. Artemis was worried, maybe Dick was too hard on you. “You shouldn’t have said that you know?” She said as she scooped some yogurt into her mouth, “Who?” Dick asked almost as if she was insane.

“Yes, you, jackass. You hurt her feelings, she’s not a princess. She just wanted to prove her mom wrong. You and I both know how it feels to be doubted by everyone around us, and when you get the opportunity to prove them wrong, you take it.” She stated.

Dick started to feel bad, but he couldn’t admit that. He couldn’t be in the wrong. What would Bruce think? Dick finally gave in and marched to your room.

“Y/n..” he said quietly, playing with his thumbs. “Come in.” You said hesitantly, the door slid open, Dick walking in with his tail between his legs.

“Listen..I’m sorry. You’re not a princess, you were right. I just didn’t want Bruce to be disappointed in me.” He spoke with his head down. You stood up and walked towards his large body, you took your head to his face and move his head so he was looking at you.

“Bruce could never be disappointed in you. You’ve come so incredibly far.” You said with a smile, a smile appearing on his face as well. He stared into your eyes, admiring the gleam and warmth they gave to his own.

He slowly moved towards you, putting one hand on your cheek and the other on your waist. You closed the gap between the two of you, wrapping your arms around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“You’re so pretty.” He said in admiration at you, in between kisses. “I could say the same about you.” You said smirking against his lips.