#Warlord answers shit in character

[moonlight-tmd]

Bumblebee has just a natural talent to make friends.

Enough with the angsty shit, time for some good stuff- Bee, despite being dragged thru so much shit in his own life, is still a happy and hopeful ray of sunshine. He always looks at stuff on the positive side and tries to make everyone smile.

He may be a "side character" in the world but he's that one side character everyone loves. He's cheerful and kind and can be a menace full of jokes but at the end of the day everyone enjoys his company. He has that charm that could bring out that little bit of childish joy in anyone he spoke to.

Which is why he somehow befriended the Decepticons residing on Earth.

When Team Prime first got on Earth, Bee was the first to befriend Sari. He had no issues befriending local citizen and making little friend groups here and there.

Then Lugnut and Blitzwing arrived on Earth. It was quite a mess the first time they all met. Later on Blitzwing went off to explore stuff and bumped into Bee wandering out at night in hopes to do something fun. They were supposed to fight but Bee derailed their initial argument to a discussion about something stupid and then into a talk about interests. Tadah, Friend #1.

I suppose Starscream joined in on Earth shortly after. He didn't really enjoy Lugnut's company and went to 'patrol'. Then he saw Blitz and this little yellow autobot on some outskirts area and came down to see the fight.

...Except there was no fight.

They two had gathered much scrap from the nearby yard and were trying to build a fort out of it. Starscream had just dropped in unannounced and made a mess from one of the piles. Of course he argued about them hanging out when Bee scolded him for destroying their hard work, but they just seemed to ignore it. Of course, Bee accused him of being jealous of not being able to build a fort like them... and somehow, Starscream bit the bait and they had a bet. While Bee and Blitz build one side of the fort, Star built the other. It ended in them all correcting each other's mistakes and making a pretty nice fort. Friend #2.

...Then the Autobots got a call about some giant robots being rowdy in the area. Bee wasn't picking up so that got them a bit worried, but when they got to the place there was just this small fortification of some sorts with scrap and tarp hanging from it. In their attempt to sneak closer someone knocked over some left over scrap and Blitzwing popped up from behind the wall.

"Who is intruding on our land?!" He was set on his freaky black face, soon enough Bee himself popped up from behind the same wall.

"Bee- get out from there!!" Optimus tried to warn. Bee and Blitz just looked at each other for a second before Bee simply answered. "No."

So instead of a fight there was just this confused argument between Blitz+Bee and Team Prime about the fort. At some point Starscream popped out from behind the same wall as them and yelled at them to frag off and that they're "having important discussions". In reality Blitz went and stole some oil barrels and rusted rods as snacks and they had a little tea party.

Team Prime was just arguing with a bunch of childish idiots in a makeshift fort. When they tried to get close they were assaulted with snowballs (Blitz made them) so they just left them to their thing.

It got even weirder when Megatron was revived. I imagine he captured Bee to interrogate and tried to get him to spill info but at that moment he was tired and annoyed with what the frag his soldiers were pulling in base and Bee caught onto that. So instead of Megs interrogating Bee, the scout talked with Megs about shit he was tired of dealing with, even cracked some jokes that Megs surprisingly chuckled at.

It didn't take long for Lugnut to also take a liking to Bee. After he befriended Megs and Blitz he kinda had a free pass to come hang out in the decepticon base. Lugnut caught Blitz talking with Bee and tried to report it to Megs, but the warlord only joined in on the gossip. Lugnut doesn't have much personal interests outside his job but Bee got him to open up a bit.

Shockwave was very confused when he saw Bee just casually taking with Megs over some oil. He was already tamed by the minibot and didn't need any time to warm up to him again.

I suppose Bee also befriended Blackarachnia in the meantime. He caught her hanging out in some abandoned building and derailed the fight into a talk. So she's now like a mean cool aunt to him.

Starscream also introduced him to his clones, they all know to not harm the little guy. He's very likable. Skywarp has a special friendship with Bee considering he's very skittish and Bee provides the best quality comfort.

All of the Decepticons have an unspoken promise to protect this ray of sunshine at all cost. Funny to imagine Lugnut just fighting Autobots when some building crumbles and he ditches it all to stop it from falling on Bee, then he picks him up and places him some distance away and continues fighting the other Autobots.

I don't actually know how the Autobots are gonna cope with this- like, on one hand it's nice that Bee doesn't get hurt but on the other hand these are Decepticons and the "friendship protection" doesn't apply to them.

They also can't make Bee not go and hang out with them cuz Bee will find a way to sneak out and do so anyway and the 'cons will be pissed and possibly wreck more havoc if they find out Bee is grounded.

[eroguron0nsense]

Kinda love how Oda saved the backstories for the two earliest warlords he introduced chronologically for over two decades and probably won't drop em until way into the final saga aside from endless increasingly vague/confusing hints that give more questions than answers e.g. Iva's blackmail/past altercation with whitebeard, that one sbs that clarified Mr Marine Hunter Mihawk has a VERY big grudge against the Navy??? What in the fuck is going on with these two? Are they gonna get like, complete recontextualizations of all their actions that somehow work shockingly well with their preestablished characters?? Does Luffy have 2 biological dads? I've been mining these two for meta material/theory material/fanfic shit instead of doing my homework for hours now and I'm getting fucking nowhere.

[queer-ragnelle]

I read for spoilers for The Bright Sword, it sounded self indulgent -- The Lady of the Lake is the girlfriend of unprepossessing OC, fix-it for King Arthur but also colonialism is bad... am I picking up the right vibes or should I just read it and form my own view? 😂

Hi anon! I'm going to put my longer answer under a cut since the book is still really new and people may want to avoid spoilers. But firstly, all good stories are self indulgent. Writing for the market is dead, writing for yourself is thriving! So that never deters me from any book or movie. Please do some whacky stuff, I love it! Secondly, I encourage you to ignore bad faith spoilers that only offer criticism without any bright sides. (See what I did there?)

The Bright Sword has the kindest portrayal of Sir Palomides ever written and that means something to me!! It should mean something to anybody invested in the Arthurian literary tradition, I think, as it's been a long time coming. It’s no small thing. I really enjoyed the main cast—Bedivere, Palomides, Dinadan, Dagonet, Nimue, Morgan, Constantine, and OCs Collum and Scipio—they’re all wonderful in their own ways! They're queer, dealing with mental illness, disability, all sorts of things I've wanted from Arthurian retellings for years and haven't gotten in a satisfactory way. I bought the book for those characters and Lev Grossman delivered!

TL;DR I recommend the book! There was more done right than wrong. I shared lots of samples on tumblr and in my Arthurian Theater Server as I read along so people could make their own judgement based on the text itself, and they also liked it.

So my longer answer is—I thoroughly enjoyed the first 30/40 chapters. I couldn't put it down! I was reading at work!! After 31 it crashed and burned a little. There were still a handful of flashback chapters to "the good ol' days" between 31-40 that I also liked, but didn't care for the main post-Camlann conflict resolution, unfortunately.

However, I think I understand how Lev Grossman ended up there. In his Author's Note he stated his inspirations—Mary Stewart, Bernard Cornwell, and Nicola Griffith. And in his Reddit AMA the other day, he said it took him 10 years to write The Bright Sword. I believe all of this culminated in a bit of a disconnected story, as the ending seemed to blindside me. Let me explain.

In Bernard Cornwell’s Warlord Chronicles trilogy, Lancelot is a huge piece of shit from the start. Cornwell’s clearly an Arthur enjoyer. I don’t prefer that approach, but I respect it, and I love Cornwell’s writing. His main character, Derfel, was also plainly a huge inspiration for Grossman’s Collum. That’s a good thing! What I didn’t enjoy was The Bright Sword seeming to shift gears suddenly near the end and make Lancelot out to be a villain that didn’t feel sufficiently foreshadowed. Prior to that, he felt much more like Mary Stewart’s poet-eyed Bedwyr (a hybrid with Lancelot) or Nicola Griffith’s sweetly awkward Lancelot, only to turn around and, literally, snap. BOOM! Cornwell’s garbage-tier Lance. [Insert “He would not fucking say that!” meme here.]

Now regarding Nimue: in Stewart's series, Ninian is with Merlin and then later marries the Fisher King. In Cornwell's series, Derfel is a childhood friend of Nimue and eventually her lover. And in Griffith's book, Peretur ends up with Nimue. So Ninian/Nimue has a long tradition as a spouse/lover of other characters and I enjoyed all of those examples. In The Bright Sword, she was a badass the entire novel, fighting in the battles with intense magic, and she even got her own pov chapters. I liked Collum well enough, he's not my favorite Arthurian OC, but I definitely didn't hate him! His back story was a little eye-roll worthy and his infatuation with Nimue was meh at times, but he’s literally 17 leaving home for the first time. That tracks. It’s not a deal breaker for me by any stretch. Cursed (2020) is where the worst Lady of the Lake romance is at. Nimue/Arthur with some weird shoehorned Gawain love triangle thing? Blech. Get it away from me. It can always be worse!

As a known Arthurian OC enjoyer, I’ll go on record in defense of Collum. He’s fine and characters like him are often paired with canonical characters. I much prefer Nimue end up with someone her own age, whether it be Pelleas or an OC, than stay with Merlin. And The Bright Sword goes to great lengths to show that Merlin is a creep and Nimue a victim who was in the right to bind him in the cave. So this didn’t bother me that much at all.

As far as "fix-it" King Arthur and colonialism bad, not sure what you mean by that. Arthur is dead. That's literally the plot. Did you mean writing Arthur as a decent husband to Guinevere in flash backs? Lots of books and films have done that already, Lev Grossman isn't the first to write Guinevere in love with her husband and an Arthur who is on-par or even better than Lancelot. Personally I prefer when it's balanced but this isn't new or noteworthy. Now, obviously colonialism is bad. That’s the point of King Arthur—the Saxons are colonizers he expels. Not sure what point the spoilers you saw were trying to make there. But it’s irrelevant since The Bright Sword doesn't touch on colonialism very much. Palomides travels west from Baghdad after hearing outlandish stories about Camelot but none of his friends have ever encountered westerners before and they have wildly inaccurate ideas. So Palomides wants to go there and write a book about it (which he does). There’s no talk of the west reaching east from his perspective, and the Saxons are moot, as the focus is a land in want of a king after Arthur’s death, not expelling the Saxon invaders. Could the spoilers have meant monarchy? I don't think anyone is reading Arthurian Legend, which is strictly fantasy, to dismantle the monarchy (or the crimes committed by real life monarchies, such as colonialism). Fantasy, and by extension Arthurian Mythology, is not true to life in any stretch. So that feels like an unfair criticism to make of the genre, even when it takes historical inspiration.

But anyway yes I think you should read the book for yourself! I always advise reading a book before passing judgement. Sometimes a trusted friend will read a book and tell you, knowing best what you like, that it’s not for you. That’s all well and good. But I generally don’t trust the internet’s opinions at large. Much better to feel it out on your own time. I’d love to hear from you again once you’ve read it! Let me know! Have a great rest of your weekend. :^)

[s-che]

The Dream Library: Apocalypse World 2

The Dream Library had our second Apocalypse World one-shot earlier this week, ending out the end of a month of talking about D. Vincent and Meguey Baker’s game of high octane apocalyptica. Next month, we'll be continuing our semester of PBTA one-shots and book-club discussions with two excellent historical games: Night Witches and Sagas of the Icelanders.

If you'd like to get in on the discussion and maybe even sign up for a one-shot, shoot me a message -- we'd love to have you.

As with the last play report, I want to open by making two things absolutely clear:

Apocalypse World is a sicknasty game that deserves to get played way more often than it does, especially by people who are working and playing in a design lineage which has been forever altered by Meg and Vincent’s work.

Apocalypse World is a game done absolutely dirty by short-term play, a fact which came out way harder in this session than it did the first time round. We had a ton of fun, of course — but the fact that our play was capped at the 3-hour mark meant we barely scratched the surface of what this game can do. 

This time, I ran the game following Vincent Baker’s advice on running Apocalypse World in a con slot, which helped a lot — and still didn’t scratch the itch I have to play this game and only this game for the next hundred or so years. Most notably, we ended up dividing play into two micro-sessions — meaning we got to turn our bio-break into a narrative breather as well and flex some of the game’s “long-term” rules. I’ve broken my thoughts up here by session, which felt appropriate.

Session 1: A Desert Landscape

I had no idea where the session was going to start when we settled down to play — beyond the fact that I was going to open in media res with someone (the answer ended up being my first volunteer, @tormentedbyvisions) in a very bad spot. Details came quickly when we looked for them — a collapsing office tower and glimpses of a desert landscape out the broken windows, dotted with more towers in the distance. Goldman (The Savvyhead, any pronouns), an elderly survivor who, as it turned out, loved nothing more than telling people lies about the world as it was, is cornered on the second floor as a gang headed by a warlord named Dremmer picked their way through the rubble below. Cut forward a few seconds and we have Goldman leaping from a hole in the wall to land on the dune below as Dremmer’s gang fire wildly at a phantom drawn from the psychic maelstrom.

Meanwhile James (The Driver, he/him) and October (The Skinner, they/them) raced along the desert highway looking for their friend. A bad role lead to an ambush, a flipped car, and a surprisingly civil conversation with a would-be raider named Jackabacka — who James enlisted to get the car unstuck and then left unconscious in a ditch. Meeting back up with Goldman — a little battered from his fall from the building, but mostly fine — the game headed back to their home: the outskirts of an oil-refining city which sprang into existence at the moment we needed it, and never before. We wrapped on our first microsession by developing character Hx and nailing down who all these people were to each other.

What did we learn? For one, Apocalypse World is a great game to make shit up in. I talked at length in my last session write-up about the instruction to “barf forth apocalyptica” and how good getting really in the juice of a genre feels, but there’s more than just that happening here. Apocalypse World has a deeper philosophy of storytelling and play (one related, I think, to what I called “fluid mapmaking” in a recent article) which really relishes in moments of hesitation and consideration. There’s an approach to play which some games and players take where “good improv” is ultimately about maximal flexibility — where the ultimate end is to hide the fact that you’re “making things up” at all, and make the game world seem as fully realized as possible. Improv is just a way to get there — since we cannot possibly have prepped for every occasion, improv fills in the gaps. The hyper-performative role of the GM is never permitted to ask for a second to think or talk through some ideas out loud (in the way a non-GM player might) — their role is a kind of computer-referee (a “stable,” as opposed to fluid, mapmaker) who presents only the truth.

Apocalypse World bucks this trend in several ways: in the way moves prompt big narrative swings, in the suggestion you spend session one just following the characters around and seeing what happens, in the MC philosophy (to “always say what your prep demands,” yes, but also to “barf forth apocalyptica,” to “ask provocative questions and build on the answers,” and to “sometimes, disclaim decision-making), and also (and perhaps most importantly) in the “umms” and “hmms” which permeate the play examples. Apocalypse World is a game which is invested in modeling collaborative — really collaborative — play and which, as a result, never felt like a burden or a trap. It felt like my players and I were all together mapping and remapping a world with the tools and toys the Bakers had given us (and what lovely tools and toys they are) but never restricted by the thing we were trying to make. It felt like we were playing. 

On another note about the first session — and this isn’t textual to Apocalypse Worlds, but to Vincent’s con-running method, but — the practice of giving players something to do (in this case, filling out the details of their character sheets) while the narrative spotlight is on others is one of those design ideas that, once you’re exposed to it, you’ll never forget. This is something I’ve seen others to — most recently (and extensively) @jdragsky's Seven Part Pact is a game that does this over and over and over again — but it really hit me in this session what a lifesaver it is. Especially in online games, where losing focus and energy is so easy, giving people something to do which keeps them invested in the game (in the way, in person, just being in a space together might) is the kind of thing I’m going to start putting in all my games. 

Session 2: Lord Terry’s Gasland Refinery

Back from a brief break, I introduced the players to the threat map I’d designed while they were away. It was populated, mostly, by people we’d already talked a little bit about — the refinery where they lived, Dremmer’s Gang in the north, the landscape of the desert highway all around them — plus a couple of strange details thrown in for good measure (at the last minute, I decided to add the Red Priory, the setting of the last oneshot I ran, on the map in the far east — a fact which I could talk about for hours. People need to play Apocalypse World with me west marches style PLEASE). 

Jumping back into the swing of play wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped — the result, I think, of breaking up the session like we did meant we needed to do the usual beginning of session dipping our toes in the water again, but this time with a much sharper awareness of the ticking clock. Still, we got somewhere — thanks in no small part to the fun of just bopping around with these characters. It’s rare that you get to say “okay, now it’s a week later. What has that week looked like?” especially in the context of a oneshot. The cost of starting a session to the players — okay, what has your life looked like? how much barter are you losing to afford that? — quickly transformed what had been a pretty generic setting into a place that had some teeth. Barfing forth apocalyptica — and some yes-anding with the players — gave us Lord Terry, a feudal tyrant whose authority rests (shakily) on the loyalty of his retained soldiers and the terror of the serfs (including our players). 

Truthfully, we didn’t get particularly far in this session: some tinkering in Goldman’s workshop, an argument with Terry, a scouting mission which ended in a tense standoff with Jackabacka, and then a race back home as October washed Jackabacka’s blood off their knife and James bled out in the backseat. I don’t think the “plottiness” of the session got anywhere — but that has also maybe never felt like less of the point. The joy of our second session was absolutely frontloaded — in the moments of thinking about the community to which we (tangentially) belonged and the powers that be, there. 

Apocalypse World tells you it is best played in a long campaign — and I think this was the moment it was most clearly right. I would love to tell you what happens next to James, or whether Lord Terry is going to be dethroned, or if Dremmer’s really the threat he seems to be. None of those are questions I thought I’d be asking, going into this session — they’re questions the game gave me over the course of play. We had some hiccups, of course (combat is brutal when you don’t have a medic, and I wish, in retrospect, that I’d pushed players to read people more often), but on the whole Apocalypse World is a marvelous engine for generating a really collaborative story.

Which makes me ask, like I did last time — what the fuck happened? People talk a lot about PBTA as a philosophy and not just a mechanic — but I think at some point in history that philosophy seems to have fallen out and gotten slimmed down to "PBTA is when 2d6+"

This isn't to say there aren't good PBTA games being written now — we'll be playing some of them in this unit — but, GOD. There is shit in this game that, hearing it from downstream, you would never know about. People should know about it! You, right now, should know about it! Go and play Apocalypse World right now! and also forever!!

[partyanimal167]

Greatness in the Making Intro- Crocodile x GN!Reader

Hi!!! This is going to be my year to write a One Piece multi-chap fic! I wrote something a little while ago that kind of explored Crocodile's past, and I really enjoyed it. It'll probably be a bit similar, but this fic will go more in depth. I enjoy the mysteries and angst around all of One Piece's older pirates--that in between generation after Gol D. Roger's death and before the Worst Generation. A lot of them had passion and desires, but things went wrong along the way.

I wanted to introduce the idea and tropes here before I start writing it. Hopefully, you all are interested in it! The pov will probably vary between reader and Crocodile.

Reader will be gender neutral for now (I'm not sure if I'm gonna go any nsfw route)

Definitely have cameos and first encounters from other warlords and other characters

Canon typical violence, angst, slightly older reader, younger Crocodile so not so serious and dark, possibly details hinted at ftm Crocodile too

Probably have some time skips and allusions to One Piece lore

I wanna push myself a bit with this writing. I'm definitely down to answer some questions about this fic and some ideas n feedback! Here's a snippet below. Thanks fo reading~

You yawned as you caught the knife that was aimed for your head. "What's got you so stressed out, lizard-boy? It's not even 8 in the mornin'?" you went over and took a seat at the kitchen table.

The man sent daggers your way, but you didn't care to feel threatened. He turned away and continued to scrub at the dishes in the sink. "Tch, why are you up? It's not your turn to make breakfast." he grunted out.

You leaned back in your chair and shrugged as the morning light started to pour in. "Someone's gotta make sure you're not snaking around tryna steal. Cap'n might've let you on board, but that doesn't mean you're part of the crew." Crocodile cussed to himself when another dish fell and shattered on the floor. "Tch, how about you find yerself a better prosthetic? No point walking around with that damn hook if you can't even use it."

"It's how I protect myself." Crocodile argued back. You rolled your eyes before standing up to sweep the mess. "I don't need your help!"

"Never said you did, kid. But if you're going to be staying around then someone's gotta make sure you don't go making a mess."

"I can take care of myself."

You flicked the other's forehead. "Yeah, but you're on a crew now, so it's not just about yourself! There's other to look after, and they'll look after you. If you're just gonna be a selfish brat, then I'll haul you off this damn boat myself!" you barked before dumping the glass away.

Crocodile didn't say anything and turned back to continue cleaning.

"You talked a lot of shit about wanting to be a great pirate, but you got a long way to go, kid." you started washing the dishes so the man could start drying.

"Oh, and you're gonna show me?"

You looked up at him with a mischievous grin and winked. "Well maybe if you shut up and just watch you'll learn a thing of two."

[badly-drawn-doflamingo]

doffybaby, stinkyshitbird, ~

motivate me to continue reading the manga so I can meet yo stankass💞💞

S.. shit bird…. B(…

While he shits and cries, the answer can be given simply.

Huge. Buff. Men.

You seem to like those, and I PROMISE, every arc? More crazy wild men. It’s insane!

Doffy shows up relatively soon in the story, along with the other warlords, however honestly there are TONS apon TONS of new mysterious adventures and characters to love!

But he’s a certain kind of crazy for sure.✨

[swaps55]

How do you think Kaidan would feel about Conrad Verner being a reoccurring character? Especially since no matter what option you pick, Shepard seems to have a bit more patience with him than other people

I hope you’ll forgive me if I Feelings Dump about Conrad Verner for a minute.

To first answer your question, I think Kaidan would be quietly jealous of Sam entertaining Conrad’s open adoration, even if he knows that Conrad isn’t exactly a romantic threat, because, well…no one is much of a romantic threat for Sam, lol. But I think Kaidan would be surprised that Sam gives him the time of day at all, much less shows patience towards him. And if he asked Sam about it…I’m not sure Sam would know how to answer, because I don’t think Sam knows why Conrad holds any object permanence in his head, especially during the events of ME1.

After Sam and Kaidan are actually together, jealousy isn’t much of an issue, at least on a serious level. And with Conrad specifically, I think Kaidan would give that a lot of space, and here’s where my feelings come in.

What I think makes Conrad stand out in Shepard’s eyes is that…he’s just a guy. The only thing special about Conrad is that he isn’t special at all. He’s awkward. He’s naïve. He’s in the way. His intentions are good, but he can’t get anything right, because as much as he dreams of being a hero and a soldier and a defender of the galaxy…he’s just a guy.

How many regular people does Shepard ever get to have a conversation with? Not many. And that’s something that actually means quite a lot to Sam.

The in-game conversation you can have with him during ME3 lives in my head rent-free. From a dev perspective, it was a fun easter egg to reward the player who kept pressing the button to see if he had any more dialogue. You get a war asset to reward you for the time-consuming side quests you did way back in ME1. You make jokes about thermal clips. It’s fan service, and I loved all of it. But from Shepard’s perspective…he stops in the middle of a quest to stop a terrorist and save more people to just…shoot the shit with Conrad. And…Shepard doesn’t want to leave the conversation. The conversation ends when Conrad asks you if you have more important things you should be doing. And…yeah. You do.

But imagine how good it feels in those few minutes, to forget how much responsibility you have to the galaxy, how much people are looking up to you, how many lives depend on you, and…have a normal conversation with just some guy. Not a turian Primarch. Not a krogan warlord, or the salarian dalatrass, or the Council, or your squad who know a million and one ways to kill people. For a few minutes, Shepard just gets to make a joke about thermal clips, and see the world through the eyes of someone who doesn’t have to look at the world as a chess board, and decide who has to get sacrificed here to save those people over there. Conrad Verner isn’t special. But what is special is that he lets Shepard also just be some guy instead of Commander Shepard, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

And I think if Kaidan senses how important that respite is, he’d give them as much space and time as he could to just be Ordinary Guys.    

[sketching-shark]

Wukong was always the villain? I read in a comment that he was the villain in everything and that he's like the Joker but with powers so i have this doubt now...

Ps: Sorry if this is ignorant btw

Hello anon! So while keeping in mind that I'm in no way an expert on how the Monkey King is perceived the world over, my general impression is that while Sun Wukong being portrayed as solely a villain is pretty popular in the east and increasingly so in the west, that's FAR from the only way that he's been portrayed. He is after all literally worshiped as a god in a number of places, and is even often considered to be a protector of children! It also can't be forgotten that he saved many, many individuals from everything from demonic goldfish to drought over the course of Xiyouji, and that at the end he becomes the Buddha Victorious in Strife. And that's to say nothing of his clear love of his monkey family, and that many of his actions are driven by his desire to keep them happy and safe. In any case, from the yaoguai perspective he seems to have done so much for them at one point that they were all 100% behind him when it came to waging war against heaven.

I think that perhaps a lot of the understanding of him as solely a chaotic villain is due to the fact that Journey to the West is some 1,400 pages long and a lot of it is about Sun Wukong's slow transformation from a violent yaoguai to a buddha. It probably is more exciting too to focus on the fact that he spent centuries as a literal yaoguai warlord, and that he waged his havoc in heaven as well as told Tang Sanzang that he had literally killed more people than he could remember during his warlord era. Of course, it can't be forgotten that this killing of countless individuals is explicitly said to be true as well of the lauded Tang emperor, but that's a contextual detail that can be easily missed. I personally think that a lot of Xiyouji brings up (although never specifically answers) many discomfiting questions about violence and power in the shaping of a society and to what extent religion might be able to alleviate (or even exacerbate!) the resultant suffering, and that Sun Wukong's actions are one of the main ways these questions are raised.

I bring this all up to say that the neat thing about Sun Wukong is that he is a very complex character who nevertheless does a lot of heinous things, but then again he's doing that in the context of a lot of other beings, both yaoguai, human, and even god, doing the same in the name of pursuing their own desires and ambitions. But this complexity often means that retellings--which by their nature of their length have to be a LOT shorter than the og classic--won't balance all of the parts of the Monkey King's character out because to do so sufficiently honestly requires a lot of context. So in the end we get a lot of flanderization of the Monkey King into either a cheeky and loving SWK or an ultraviolent unrepentant SWK (or the retelling will veer off into another direction of a quite popular brooding asshole SWK lmao). In the west specifically, however, this sort of simplification and flanderization seems to often translate into a "uwu dumb chaos monkey" version, so that even if SWK is well meaning he'll just commit one doofy blunder after another or go ignoramus murder on the situation. Hence the association with the Joker, who if my understanding of that character is right just does what he does because he wants chaos.

In all honesty though, I think this association is a big misreading of SWK's character. Besides Xiyouji making it obvious that SWK rarely starts any of the fights he gets into (never mind starting fights just for shits and giggles) and that he is very content to live in relative peace with his monkey family, he pretty much always has a very clear reason for committing the violence that he does, even if that reason is sometimes some version of "I want the thing and will beat you up if I don't get it." To give but a few examples: SWK commits his first murder in the book because his opponent the Demon King of Confusion had been brutally attacking the Mt. Huaguoshan simians and kidnapping their young; he DID steal a lot of stuff from heaven but only goes to war with them when the deities are literally breaking down the Monkey King's door and threatening his home; he murders over a thousand human hunters because they had been relentlessly hunting his monkey family; he burns down a Buddhist monastery because the monks conspired to kill Tang Sanzang and steal his robe; and he kills the Lady Bone Demon because she wanted to eat Tang Sanzang. These are just a few examples throughout the course of the work, but you can see how in each one it isn't a case of the Monkey King crying havoc and letting slip the dogs of war as it is someone trying to hurt or kill someone under SWK's protection and him responding in like. There is no doubt that SWK can be a very destructive and impulsive monkey, but he also seems equally if not more likely to have thought a situation through and gone with violence anyway because the situation wasn't going to resolve itself any other way, and indeed he often only goes ahead with violence after giving his opponents the opportunity to stop and give up.

That said, I'd be willing to bet that an awareness of Xiyouji Sun Wukong's very deliberate decisions to kill and threaten are one of the main reasons behind the popular presentations of him as solely a villain, especially since the context behind his reasons for violence can be very easily lost. As it is, the Monkey King has been described by some as Xiyouji's first villain, and there are numerous reasons for thinking this is true. After all, no matter your reasons killing so many people you can't remember them all is still killing so many people you can't remember them all.

I hope you find this useful anon! Again I'm no expert, and if I'm missing something people should definitely feel free to point that out. And as always it needs to be noted that @journeytothewestresearch has kindly provided FREE pdf copies of the Anthony C. Yu English translation of Journey to the West on his website, so if you have the time and desire to do so you can flip through that and come to your own conclusions on what's going on with the Monkey King.

[fanstuffrantings]

I got a comment about it, so I guess it's time I make a post defending Vivienne because I love her and want to give everyone the chance to have a more nuanced opinion of her.

I know people don't like her, she's a circle mage who doesn't like the rebellion and is pretty uptight. She's easy to dislike if you're promage. So with that in mind let's go over the main reasons people dislike her and why they make sense for her as a character.

1. She's anti-rebel.

Vivienne at her core is a lawful character. She wants order and structure because unfiltered chaos harms and can even kill people. A large reason she joins the inquisition is because she wants to offer assistance in reforming structure and making people feel safe again.

2. She's pro-circle

Vivienne is one of the mages we meet who understands fully that magic is dangerous. She has a respect for her craft and walks into every situation knowing full well people are potentially afraid of her. The circle offered a place for mages to train their skills, and non magical people to feel more safe knowing that mages won't cause harm they can't control. She also fully admits that her experience isn't the same as everyone else's but that it's the only real answer anyone has right now for some way to get mages to a more stable state.

3. She's protemplar

This one is more complicated. Because she wants the templars so that mages have a failsafe should the worst happen, but when pressed will agree that templars aren't the solution to the issue of magic itself. I think in her ideal version of events templars would simply be bodyguards only intended to step in if shit hits the fan but often times like with any society, a group given enough power can become corrupt.

4. She hates Cole.

Imagine this: you're a knight enchanter who had to go through her harrowing which involved combating a demon that would possess you. An event which many mages do not survive, some don't even get the chance to do because they aren't trained enough. Something that no doubt you would've seen happen countless times over your time as a mage. You've heard of demonic possession and maybe even had first hand experience with them and how bad they can be. Then one day a supposed spirit shows up claiming to want to help your new allies. It can disappear and reappear at will, completely hide itself from everyone if it chooses to, can wipe the memories of people so they don't know they met it, and reach into the deepest pits of your mind to pull out your most sensitive and impactful moments which it then speaks back to you in cryptic language. Recounting your exact feelings, making you remember even something you might not want to. Now with those thoughts is it remotely surprising she wouldn't be fine with him having free reign. Demons lie all the time, why would she have any reason to believe his intentions were coming from a good place. I love Cole, he's always in my party in inquisition, but we can't act like people being wary or afraid of him is just nonsensical.

5. She's uptight and posh, expecting the same of you.

You are the inquisitor. A warlord, basically a figure head of the chantry who is gaining influence on the divine. Legends spread about you and some of them even come back to you when Josephine speaks of it. Vivienne 1000% has heard every single one and is far more aware of your social standing than you are. The inquisition needs support to function, some of which will come in the form of the wealthy elite paying good money to be part of something good to bolster their names. Vivienne is a skilled player of the game and a staunch believer that if you have the power, it is your duty to use it and use it well. Just because you don't want to be a symbol doesn't mean you get to avoid it. That option is taken from you the minute you're named inquisitor.

6. She hates everything.

She's judgemental. But fair. Much like any companion if you do something she morally opposes she's going to dislike you. Allying with mages who overtook Radcliffe, pushed out the nobility in charge as well as the people, and then allowed Tevinter to take control? It's rational she'd be upset about that. Letting Celine die so that someone else can take the throne? Regardless of feelings it causes orlais to potentially destabilize in the middle of a war, the sky is ripped open and good allies are now probably kneecapped as they deal with the death of a monarch and changes in how things run. Approving of rebel mages? It's an endorsement of chaos, the mages running free is doing harm. I don't agree with her on everything, but I'm not surprised or mad if she doesn't like me when I don't.

Vivienne is a caring character who has never really been able to just be open when she is. Even if you're on her shit list she does the bare minimum of inconveniencing you by moving around some furniture because, again, you're in the middle of a war where everything is going sideways and actually doing something drastic would be to damage the whole initiative. You don't have to like her but she receives more vitriol than any other character in the series and at the very least people can try to understand her perspective.

[dryococelas01]

I am so confused by so many worm fanfic writers.

I had a hankering for a Cyberpunk Crossover fanfic (with any setting, not specifically a cyberpunk worm fanfic) for some reason, so I had a look for one. Saw people reccomending skitterdoc, had seen people in worm threads reccomending it.

The description (Taylor triggers, gets bonesaws powers, teleports to cyberpunk world) did not inspire confidence, but I liked the idea of someone from another world interacting with cyberpunk so I thought, screw it, I'll give it a shot.

Why... is this Taylor? She doesn't think like Taylor, she doesn't have Taylors powers, she doesn't act like Taylor.

I don't do much writing, but I always hold the view that when writing you should ask yourself 'what does this add to the story? Why is this here?' before adding any details.

And it's fine if the reason is 'because I think it's sick' for some things. If you're making a cyberpunk (genre not setting) universe and you want a cybernetic to be a laser hand because you like lasers, fine whatever. Enjoy yourself. You can even make it a key part of the setting if you think it through, like people have to get implants to protect themselves from both lasers and ballistics, sometimes there's a tradeoff etc.

But who your protagonist is is a key part of the story and merits a bit more thought, in my opinion.

And in this case the answer can't be 'because I like the character' because you haven't written the character. You've written an OC and stuck her name and backstory on it. If I write, let's say, a marvel/Magic the gathering story where Tony Stark ignites in the caves and becomes a planeswalker, because I like the character Tony Stark (I don't but this is theoretical). But then I write Stark as someone who is shy, never quips and is shit with technology, I clearly don't like the character because that's not the same character. There's shared aspects, but it's not the same.

And like, the cyberpunk worm story where a character gets sent over could legit be good.

What if it was actually bonesaw post-GM? Someone who's trying to be better put into a city and environment that encourages people to be as selfish as possible, and has a power that works amazingly with the implants and stuff in the setting. That could be interesting

Or if you still want taylor to be a protagonist, fine. You could have her post-gm, trying to adjust to a world that seems to encourage her to backslide to her warlord days as much as it can. If you want her to be a Tinker you can even bullshit it by saying that the khepri situation fucked her powers connection enough she's now a drones Tinker or something. I find the bonesaw idea more interesting but this hasn't got no potential.

Could even have trigger taylor transported if you want, though I find that idea less interesting.

It's fine to make the protagonist Taylor because you like her character, but if you then don't even write her character, just an OC with her name, I have to ask... why isn't this an OC? You could then have an interesting protagonist with the characteristics you want while still having taylor in the story.

This doesn't just apply to skitterdoc, I'm just using it as an example, it applies to a lot of worm fanfic and a lot of fanfic in general. But I've never seen a fandom with as bad a case of it as worm.

It's like it's reflex to have taylor be the protagonist, like there's no thought put into it.

And it's fine to have some characteristics of the character change if that's part of an au. Like if you're doing one of those alternative parent fanfics and taylors dad is armsmaster and you want to explore how her character would cha ge by that, then go ahead. But so many of these fanfics seem to just write a different character, slap her name on them, then not justify why it's a different character.

I've edited this part on:

I should say, I'm not shitting on skitterdocs writing or the writing of any fanfic that does this. You can do all this and still be a well written, interesting story.

It's just not a story about the worm character Taylor Hebert, it's a story about your character Taylor Hebert.

[brandwhorestarscream]

Which Megatron do you think would be the best mom? I'm leaning towards Earthspark. I'm sad to admit that I don't think my fav, tfp, would make a good mom. I feel like he'd either be very overbearing or extremely distant.

Hmmmm that's a good question. Earthspark Megatron definitely has the most in-youe-face canon evidence saying he'd be a good parent. He's already a (grand)parental figure to the terrans, and he's doing pretty good with him. He'd definitely be a doting carrier to his own newborn sparkling

However! Don't be too quick to write of Aligned Megatron. I genuinely think anyone can be a good parent if they're willing to work hard at it and recognize that their children are individual people with people needs. And Megatron, for all his flaws, doesn't do anything half-assed. He'd definitely be a very busy parent, seeing as he's got an entire army to command, but I don't think he'd be constantly distant and pushing them away. I mean, he made the choice to carry them to term and bring them into the world (assuming it wasn't a stealth pregnancy or smthn, which could be a very interesting topic to explore 🤔). He'd do his best for them, and while I do think he'd initially struggle to balance his time spent with them and his time spent lording over the decepticons, I think he'd find a rhythm that worked for them. He's too stubborn not to

In public he'd likely be a very cold parent, but behind closed doors he's able to more freely express the love he feels for them. TFP does a great job of making him seem just. Irredeemably evil all the time, someone that doesn't experience positive emotions, but that's simply not the case. He's every bit as capable of love and happiness as every other cybertronian. Just because we aren't shown that doesn't make it any less true. Think about it, every time Megatron is on screen, it's when he's in full warlord mode. Everyone else gets individual depth, scenes wherein they're more than just a soldier or medic. Like Knockout enjoying his racing hobbies, Starscream being an adept scientist, Bulkhead working with construction. Not Megatron. We only ever see him fighting and giving orders and having to be perfectly present in the war effort, but realistically that's not how he spends every waking hour of every single day. I do think, when he's alone with his sparkling, he could be tender with them, give them the affection and love and guidance they need to grow up healthy.

Would he be a perfect parent? No. Such a thing doesn't exist. But I don't think he'd be terrible or abusive, either.

EDIT BECAUSE I REALIZED I DIDNT ANSWER THE ACTUAL QUESTION 💀

I'm actually kinda leaning toward animated Megatron. While yes, earthspark Megatron is very nice, he's also still got a lot of issues he's working through, and I don't think him working with GHOST--of his own free will or not--would be very healthy for his child. I don't think, given he's constantly rounding up the "bad decepticons" he'd be an optimal role model. With the terrans, he's not their primary caregiver. People can make great babysitters but not great parents, yk? He's in an unstable place rn, constantly butting heads with Optimus, unhappy with his current position in life, and I don't think he's in a proper mental state to consistently be caring for a needy baby. Maybe after GHOST is dealt with and the imprisonment of decepticons stops, but not right now.

TFA Megatron, on the other hand, has his shit together. Though they live in exile he's still got a good handle on the decepticons, and they're surviving well. He's all not quite as prideful and stubborn as previous Megatron's--my favorite way that's demonstrated is with the Supremes at the end of season 3. When it's pointed out to him that he isn't actually the ideal candidate, that there could be disastrous infighting and they might not obey him, he doesn't get angry. That's a fair, accurate critique of his character, and he gracefully takes it in stride. He then pivots to someone else who's a better fit, prioritizing their success over his own hubris. Most other Megatron's would get mad and blow up and let it cloud their judgement, but not him. He's also demonstrated to be an incredibly patient person, able to play the long game and focus on the outcome even if the means aren't as quick as he'd like them to be. He knows when to draw back, he makes good choices, and he's generally a pretty calm person, all things considered. I actually think, if Sumdaac's bitch ass hadn't stolen his embryo and they had been allowed to develop and be born properly, he would be a pretty great mother

[blackholesun321]

@taylortaylormoon I am so sorry I think I accidentally deleted the ask you sent me :(

But luckily I have my reply saved!

So to answer your question.

I think that really depends on you lol, I know you came here asking for a second opinion, but I feel like this really is just asking what type of tone and what type of plot beats you want to hit with that tone. Also im probably not the best person to be asking this to see as I’m biased because—

I am personally not someone who likes modern AUs. I feel like characters can easily get washed out by the setting. A lot of times, I feel like the modern setting is just creating characters that I have to relearn about when I come to fanfiction to play around with characters in a setting that I already know. It's lazy, but so am I. It doesn't mean modern AUs can't be amazing; I just don't usually look for them.

Also, I like magic and the fantastical, so having that taken away isn't interesting to me. Sure, it can be a good character study, but I feel it takes away the sort of tone from the original and adds another tone to it, which again isn't bad. It really depends on you! Do you like modern AUs and feel it will add something to your fic? Well then, go right ahead.

But being biased as I am, I do believe this is going to be more about what type of tone you want to set for this. Do you want it to be a sort of fish out of water situation? What could happen if life was better? Just confusing the heck out of Zoro and having bundles of misunderstandings? This I believe can be achieved with either or.

You could even go the horror route, Zoro dropped into a world he doesn't understand with people who are like his people but slightly to the left. A world slightly to the left, no Haki, a different type of world government, rules, and regulations he doesn't understand, technology he doesn't comprehend, even thinking about public school and mandatory education, as well as a body very different than he's used to, etc.

But I also feel like that could take away from the badassness that is Mihawk and Shanks and just puts Zoro with two guys. Like these aren't the Warlord of the Sea and Yonko of Paradise he knows; sure, they share the same face and some mannerisms, but it's just Greg and Dave from accounting. Or maybe you want that. Maybe you want that dissonance that the man I know who beat me, who played me, who will not hesitate to kill me, is maybe in another life, in another world, sweet and kind and loving. Or maybe you want it closer to home? Instead of a modern AU, maybe you want to confuse baby Zoro's memory, that his memories have him realize that, oh, this man would not treat me this way if I were not his son.

Again, I am biased, so take this with a grain of salt. Sometimes, when I'm stuck on questions like this, I'll go find someone I trust and talk out the story and the beats I want to hit. Hey, you can even come to my messages. Just rant to me about it, and eventually, the answer will present itself.

Anyways, hope my general malaise and unconnected rambles helps in anyway. Also, I really like your fic. The idea is bat shit insanely creative and I adore bad shit it’s such an amazing idea. 10/10 will be listlessly waiting for more updates.

[the-drunken-huntsman]

Hello my beloved friend :3 u should answer all the Skyrim asks for an OC of your choice :3

Stars thank you for this because as soon as I started answering it my flight got ungrounded lmao I was supposed to be home 7hrs ago

Ivarstead - How do you feel about the Greybeards and Paarthurnax?

I like Paarthurnax, I get what they were trying to do with his whole "redeemed warlord" character even though it isn't really written very well. The whole game isn't written well and the way I fill in the gaps makes me think he's pretty chill. He reminds me of the Air Nomads from atla :) the Greybeards are pretty cool. I mostly like Arngeir because he's voiced by Christopher Plumber and also because of his Lorax line hehe

Solitude - Who's your favorite Jarl? Who's your least favorite? Why these?

Idgrod Ravencrone, duh. She's the goat. Elisif is a very close second because I am very gay.

Riften - What's your favorite guild? How do you feel about their questline?

I'll be honest, I don't really like any of the guilds. The dbh is long and tedious. The thieves guild takes all the fun out of it by almost all of it just being stealing from the poor to benefit the rich. The College is so poorly written it's not even funny anymore. The Civil War is stupid on its own but it's not helped by the fact that the questline is the most buggy shit I've experienced in this whole game. The Companions are racist af and don't even have the guts to just say it point blank like the stormcloaks. The Bards College is a fucking scam. However, despite all of this, I do still have fun playing most of these questlines. If I had to pick a favorite it would be the Dawnguard because even though it's the longest of all of these, I have the most fun playing it and it's the most well written. Sorry this turned into a wall of text of me just bitching lol

Throat of the World - How do you feel about "Season Unending"?

I don't hate it as much as other people seem to but because I love just siding with tullius for everything and pissing ulfric off lmao

Skuldafn - How do you feel about dragon priests?

┐(ﾟ～ﾟ)┌ I don't get the hype for them

Sovngarde - How would your Last Dragonborn celebrate after the battle with Alduin, or would they celebrate at all?

Ooh boy, Aneis has to be literally carried down off the Throat of the World by Teldryn and Murza, the battle did such a number on her. They rent out the Vilymir Inn for a week and she just sleeps the entire time, Tel, Murza, and Endurys taking turns watching over her. When she finally wakes up she has a bit of a breakdown over fulfilling the prophecy and having achieved her destiny and not knowing what to do now. But she finally decides on pursuing her one dream she thought she could never fulfill, settling down and starting a family. So team dragonborn goes off and builds Lakeview Manor :)

[infini-tree]

11, 12, aaand 34? for Oogway! `v` i also wrote down 48 and 49 while skimming through the meme but i don't remember what they are now so uh. ig those as well, if it's not Too Much. no problems in that case

honest favorite character asks

11. How did you “fall in love” with this character?

i joke that i started doing it out of spite. the real answer was probably around kfp3 where they implied that oogway was a warlord.

like, prior to that he was not on my radar. but once the movie implied a whiff of moral complexity and the idea of how he changed over a timespan that would be difficult to comprehend for most people he got up to blorbo tier.

12. If you could write effortlessly and as much as you wanted, what story (s) would you write for this character?

besides the next part of the generationswap au fic?

really i only have one. but its one big one that highlights oogway's entire journey. and i do mean all of it (at least the most important parts). oogway has a lot of potential to me since he's lived through so much and there's a lot of vectors that it can be tackled (of which i've tackled in one off doodles ages ago).

there's the obvious one of public opinion having changed a lot from the implication that he was feared along kai to the wise protector of present day. but also its funny just on an in-universe historical level. like the idea of a historian asking oogway about a point in time and he has a niche opinion about it that sends scholars into a frenzy is so so funny.

34. Does this character inspire you with little things in your daily life?

ironically no, lol. oogway is too like. idealized and high up that it feels strange to see him as specifically aspirational. like in general, yes, but there are other blorbos that speak to me in certain specificities he cannot on account that oogway has most of his shit together.

48. What’s your favorite physical/design feature for this character?

the curve of the lip of his shell and the way it opens up. its so shape. i love it but also hate drawing it because i always mess up the way it subtly curves.

sidebar but i think its lowkey a bit funny how the designers committed to making oogway a galapagos tortoise, considering that a majority of the cast at the time of kfp1 were in the area.

this is a less notable feature now that there have been more characters whose species implies they came from far off too (and there's also the spinoffs that mention other societies in the kfp universe). but still,

49. What’s your favorite personality trait in this character?

mostly the idea that he's such a 'big picture' thinker that he doesn't get how it comes off to to other people. i've made a whole post about it as it relates in secrets of the masters, lol

[hobbs-deep]

current review and thoughts

so, after catching up on one piece here's my break down

i watched all the episodes pre timeskip in dub

-east blue saga was good, intro was fun

-the arabasta saga felt like it was playing the long game, little garden opened elbaf and giants to the world we the audience still haven't really seen a lot of that island (we saw it in big mom flash back but not really much else). drum island was a fun arc, dr. Kureha is amazing and i wish we had more time with her. and arabasta itself was turned into a sitcom for me bc i heard about the crocomom theory. so every time i saw croc fighting luffy i would say shit like "that's no way to talk to your kid!" other than that, good intro to the seven warlords

-sky island saga is prob one of my top fave sagas in op, instead of being super focused on all the battles as much the story was more interested in clever solutions, Usopp really shined in this arc, he felt more engaging with jaya and skypiea, the connections to Rodger also were very fun

--not a saga but the G-8 arc was some of the best writing i have seen in awhile. i know it was a filler arc but it covered so much, reinforcing the use of dials, the relationship the crew had and giving us such a believable scenario in this world. vice-admiral Jonathan was such a charismatic dude, we also got introduced to the Coup de Burst (although it wasn't called that) as an escape method. flying out of danger on a ship

-water 7 saga really took the story in stride, it felt like one piece was really finding it's pacing and the backstories didn't feel as long winded as before. the intro to the Ancient Weapons here felt more earned, long ring was a bit too much for this saga though

-summit war saga was the first time i felt that this is truly a larger world. that while we have been watching the story from the pov of the straw hats and their adventure this world keeps moving no matter what the crew does. the world got fleshed out and it was like when your a kid and it clicks in your brain that the world is bigger than you thought. post war arc hurt in ways i didn't think it would, but we got intro'd to my favorite character JINBEI

-timeskip was a good time Weatheria was a place i wanted to see more of

--i watched all the post time skip in sub and as much as i could through One Pace--

-fish-man island saga, good return quick and effective re-intro to everybody, BUT the actual arc on fish-man? it was so long. this was the arc that made me stop watching op in the first place bc the pacing was weird and it didn't feel like the story was progressing much. now that i've come back to it with fresh eyes it had a bunch of answers to questions set up in the east blue saga and intro'd JoyBoy by name.

-dressrosa saga was very raw. there was a bunch of concepts and things happening that made me want to punch mingo, and gas-fart in the jaw. the call back to Noland was amazing and this arc really kicked Usopp up my list of fave characters. Law got swept up with the crew and i want him fully adopted by the end of the series

-whole cake island saga, sanji's a dumbass. like his backstory was so sad but he was still a dumbass for thinking he could sacrifice himself and no one would come after him. big mom's backstory was in a word disturbing. the reverie (levely arc?) gave more depth to the world gov. i hate the celestial dragons even more now and want only bad things for saint charlos

-wano country saga is still happening, it's prob toward the end now but the whole under cover aspect bc it's a closed country was a cool concept. the straw hats really are showing their growth in this saga. the trust they have in each other and the "he's dead? yeah- no he ain't you might wanna check again" attitude was everywhere in how they acted.

im excited for the next arc and im glad i gave one piece another shot.

the more people told me to watch it the less i wanted to, but when they talked about the themes and stories being told i decided to give it another shot. glad i did.

im prob gonna go back and slowly re watch post timeskip bc i missed the filler.

[warlord-official]

1-104?

Ey fuck you Anon, you want me to answer all of ‘em? Fine, but I’ll do it in CHARACTER YOU STANK BIIIITCH

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

I know not what texting is but I did once wake up next to @berserker-official after we drank late into the night and spent the evening carving runes into our leader’s ship. He wasn’t too happy with us.

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

Well last time I was at a feast I tried to hit up Mama @valkyrie-official but she wasn’t having much of my shit at the time. 

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

BY THOR’S HAMMER WHAT SORCERY HAVE THE WEEBS CREATED NOW?! REMEMBER YOUNG VIKINGS GOOD MEAD IS ALL YOU NEED

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

*Counts on his hands* W-a-r-l-o-r-d …yes

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

Almost always drunk. But then again, I’M ALMOST ALWAYS DRUNK AHAHAHA

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

@official-peacekeeper and I almost had something beautiful but then I fell out of the boat I was trying to serenade her in. …she still laughs when she looks at me

7. What does your last received text say?

The last text I received was from my scout who told me THE FUCKING WEEBS ARE PUSHING BACK AGAIN TIME FOR A RALLY

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

I honestly don’t remember. There was too much mead flowing through my veins.

9. Where was your last kiss at?

Probably an after-battle feast?

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

@raider-official ARE YOU STILL SLEEPING OFF YOUR HANGOVER?! LEGENDARY!

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Mead. 

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My boat.

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

No! Raising noble strong warriors is a noble goal!

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

Less falling on my face after my drunken victory song

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

I still can’t recall the last person I kissed, but if I was drunkenly rude to any of them, maybe. They all are rather good at…well, stabbing.

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

A rainy day means I don’t have to wash my battle leathers!

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

I don’t have a middle name! But all the warlords are some sort of distant cousin, I’m pretty sure

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

ONLY BATTLE LEATHERS, FOOL

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

If I don’t join my brothers in Valhalla, sure! I’d love to raise a strong warrior!

20. Does anyone like you?

Plenty of people like me! What’s that s’posed to mean?!

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

I once tried to mack on Siv and got an axe handle to the face, so no.

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

No clue. Still can’t remember that night. How many times do I have to answer this question?

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

Filthy damn weebs…

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Think about that one closely, and look at my arms lad

25. In the past week have you cried?

Only tears of JOY when my comrades went to VALHALLA

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

Gunmundr’s wolves. Nasty snapping things.

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

You can’t dry off inside a rain shower, you fool!

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

What is this foot-ball? 

29. Do you think you’re old?

Step carefully lad, lest I introduce you to the back of my hand.

30. Do you like text messaging?

Learning runes is hard

31. What type of day are you having?

One that is meant for battle, as are most days

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

I’d rather not have my nose pierced by an arrow, thank you very much

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Cold. It builds character

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

All my female fighting compatriots mean a lot to me! 

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

I do like flinging weebs off ledges… wait, I don’t understand the question.

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

Keep it simple!

37. What song are you listening to?

Drumbeats of battle!

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

Sorry!Sorry!Sorry!

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

I’m not sure if @valkyrie-official​ is actually listening when I drunkenly tell her all about myself…40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

Ferocity in battle!41. When did you last receive a text message?

When my messenger brought it to me! Why do you ask the same questions?42. What is wrong with you right now?

My sword needs sharpening43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

Very well! I sent @nobushi-official​ a message telling her if she was going to be a traitor, she should join us! I don’t know what the reply in her chicken scratch language means though…

44. Does anyone disgust you?

Mostly @orochi-official​ for running away all the time. 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Battle first, then we can enjoy one another’s company!46. Are you in a good mood right now?

Yes! Daybreak means I can nurse this hangover with MORE MEAD!!!47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

@berserker-official​ when I told the boy to bring me my flagon. Where did he run off to?48. What color shirt are you wearing?

Brown. It’s made of leather. It’s armor. What kind of question is that?49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

I woke up to a message that the weebs have rallied, so yeah. It was terrible.50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

@orochi-official​ is a lost cause

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

Not at all! I respect her prowess in battle when she knocked me off that bridge!

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

@nobushi-official​, it’s not too late to switch to the right side!53. Do you like rain?

YES YOU FOOL WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

Only if they care that I do!55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

Once in my youth, yes. They are in Valhalla now.56. Do you like to cuddle?

Papa Warlord has a lot of warmth to spread around!57. Are you shy?

Bahahahaha no!58. Do you get along with girls?

Yes! They respect me and I respect them! Then I get drunk and they tell me to stuff it! It works fine.59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

No, my scout must prove himself in battle before he is allowed any personal time.60. What do you carry with you at all times?

My sword and shield!61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

The spirits of the dead do not frighten me! I welcome the company of those I will join in Valhalla!62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

Yes. That’s how long I can be at war before coming home!63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

I seem to remember some sort of feast with women in masks…but then again most of the women I encounter are masked somehow!64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

Cute does not become a Viking!

…but yes. Harumph.65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

CUTE DOES NOT BECOME A VIKING

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

I know not. They are grown men and women!

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

A blade does a decent job trimming them, but they are great long for gouging out eyes!    68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

I have no clue what you are talking about. I only wear bear furs    69. Do you have any stickers on your car?

What is a car? I have mighty carvings on my boat!    70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

Who are these men?    71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?

What are these things?    72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

STOP MAKING UP WORDS    73. Do you like diet soda?

I SAID STOP    74. What color are the walls in your room?

My hut is the dark brown of the wood I fashioned it from    75. Are you 16 or older?

Yes, I am much older    76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

Liars are rarely pretty, lad     77. Do you have a job?

My profession is leading the war parties to victory!      78. What are your initials?

W.O.    79. Did you ever have braces?

I have had to brace myself against walls during sieges!    80. Are you from the south?

Nay, lad. The North!    

81. What does your last status on facebook say?

What sorcery is a book of faces?!    82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

No, they have gone to Valhalla    83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

Mom used to whup me, but so did Dad. Both of them raised me to be a fine warrior, and I shall see them again in Valhalla    84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?

I have led a cheer of victory!    85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?

What do those words mean?    86. Do you smoke?

Tobacco is not for me. Mead, on the other hand…    87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

Your boots need a good heel, lest you fall in battle!88. Is your phone touch screen?

I told you to stop making up words!89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

Long traditional braids90. Have you ever snuck out of your house? 

Yes, when I was a lad I wanted to join the battle early. My Father was not impressed, and my ears and rear were red after he was done teaching me a lesson91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

A river is best for swimming.92. Have you ever made out in a car?

I know not what you are speaking of.93. …Had sex in a car?    

I attempted to woo the lady @official-peacekeeper​ in a boat but…well, I already answered that94. Are you single or in a relationship?

Single for now. The battlefield is my lady95. What were you doing last night at midnight?  

Sleeping off all the mead I drank96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? 

During a raid on the weebs! They summoned reinforcements but we pushed through!97. Do you like the camera on your phone?

Ask me about this foolery again and I shall have to stomp down those foolish dreams of made-up things98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

Yes, there was a young lass who helped me become the man I am today99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? 

Mention this book again, and I shall tie you to my mast!101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?   

Now you’re trying to insult me!102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

WHO IS THAT?!103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

No, the sun has not broken through the clouds in months104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

What ARE THESE THINGS