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catsplushellhounds · 4 years ago

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favorite headcanons (and theorys?) of glee that i created

i was thinking if i really was going to write this, but im bored so lets go, this got so long and i am so sorry (not really it was fun and i liked it, if you like big metas you probably gonna like this)

*this can have some triggers for some people because i will be talking about bullying, abandonment, depression and violence*

(also i would like to say that most of this are things that i like to believe happened, and idk if the rest of the fandom agrees or if someone said it before and this is all blaine related, i left it glee on the title because it sounded better idk)

- blaine's dad is filipino and he left after blaine came out

i know that blaine said he was there in shooting stars, but hear me out

first of all, to me his name is tod anderson, dont ask me why it just makes sense and i like how it sounds.... so

in sexy, blaine tells burt that his dad tried many times bonding with him, but apparently that didnt work, because he also says "you think my dad built a car with me because he loves cars? i think he did it because he thought getting my hands dirty might make me straight." and after 4x18, he is never mentioned again? and he wasnt on his son's wedding too

so my theory here is that he never accepted that blaine is gay, and all of his "efforts of bonding" were actually because he thought he could "fix" blaine, and when that didnt worked he left, (that also explains blaine's abandonment issues) but he did came back im the shooting episode because he felt guilty for what he did, but after he saw it was a false alarme he went back on pretending he didnt have a gay son

to be really honest sometimes i pretend that his dad wasnt on the shooting day because i feel that it doesnt fit that well into this and i really like this one because its kinda obvious to me that blaine have daddy issues??? so usually i just put on my character-backstory that blaines dad left after he came out and never came back

for the first year that he was gone, blaine spended every night trying to contact him. sometimes he just texted, but most of the times he called and left a message crying begging him to come back and tell him what he'd done that made his father hate him so much, his dad never called or texted back

- blaine's parents

(im not sure if this is canon but blaine's mom is named pam)

i know that technically i've already talked about blaine's family when i was talking about his dad but that is so complex i felt i had to do a topic exclusive for that

i believe blaine has and always had a good relationship with his mother, yes she was usually gone because she works selling a really famous cosmetic line she created (to me the andersons are a really known name) that would explain how blaine could study in a school like dalton (he said so himself that dalton isnt a school that anyone could afford), and why she is never there

but despite her being busy with her job, she always tried to keep im touch with blaine, texting him, and calling and skyping

blaine always missed her, but he tried to not make her feel guilty about working too much, because she loves her job

sometimes he got really depressed, because he wished she could be there to see him sing with his friends, or just be there so that he could hang out with his mom like all of his friends did with their parents

his das was a businessman, i dont know why it just fits to me, also idk what kind of business because i dont understand any of it so thats up to imagination

before he came out, he and his dad were super close, sure his dad a lot of the time was busy but he was at home more than his mom, his dad was the one that introduced him to liking sports, and they always watched games together (cooper would join in too) and his dad always let him have a sip of his beer, blaine always loved those moments and his dad was like a hero to him, he was sure that coming out to him would be easy, because he would love him no matter what

all of the andersons have always been brodway babys, all 4 of them liked to sing, tod was a little bit more serious and didnt dance around the house like cooper, blaine and pam but he enjoyed seeing them having fun

the andersons were like the perfect family of the neirbourhood, all 4 of them are very good looking, talented and educated so yes everybody thought they were perfect

they all lived in the philippines until blaine was 5, and then moved to ohio because tod got a really good job offer there

after blaine came out, his parents argued A LOT. tod would ask himself and pam of what he had done wrong and pam would say its nobodys fault and thats just how blaine is

(to me that was the time tod was revealed to be an asshole and not long after he divorced pam and stoped talking to all of them, except for cooper, he and cooper still talked)

- blaine's bullying

the bullying blaine went through was a lot like kurt's, people laughing at him, shoving him around, beating him up, etc

he tried putting a brave face through it but he started losing all of his light, even more when all of his complains didnt matter at all

it only got sort of better when he met skylar (thats the kid he went to sadie hawkings with, i read in a fic that was his name and stuck with me so im calling him skylar)

skylar was going through the same thing he was, and one time blaine saw him getting shoved at lockers, and helped him pick up his books and thats were they started talking

maybe they liked each other, they never got to find out because after the bash, skylar never spoke to blaine again

blaine was in a 2 week coma after getting beat up, and the first thing he said when he woke up was "where's my dad" and his mom had to gently tell him his das was not there. that was when blaine realized he actually meant nothing to his dad and that broken him even more

he was bashed about 3 months after his father left him, and for the rest of that school year he was homeschooled by a teacher his mother hired

- blaine joining dalton and the warblers

so, since blaine is a year younger than kurt, in my head goes sorta of like this

he came out when he was 13, that was the time he was bullied, beaten up abandoned and homeschooled, and he joined dalton when he was 14, but to be a warbler he had to be a little older than that, so he had to audition to join (im guessing you dont have to audition to be a warbler, just to have a lead, i mean kurt didnt auditioned, right?) and and trent auditioned together, they became friends and were roomates (dalton is a boarding school DONT @ ME EVERYBODY KNOWS ITS TRUE)

it took blaine a while to take the step to audition, because he was still scared, but wes and david helped him and gave him a little seed of the confidence he pretends to have later on, but when he sang for the warblers for the first time they were all blowed away by how good was his singing voice even if he was only 14

after he felt comfortable in the warblers, he became friends with nick and jeff, and they were a trio of dumbassess, wes and david (usually the most mature of all the warblers) sighed everytime they saw nick, jeff and blaine doing something stupid

trent joined in sometimes but he always had been a really chill dude, and he saw blaine as a older brother (even tho blaine is younger than him)

jeff, nick and blaine pulled pranks on wes and david like hiding stuff from them and act all inocent when they asked if they saw said thing

the warblers had a bet going on how long would it take for kurt and blaine to start dating (and yes all of them shipped klaine, and even after kurt and blaine went to mckinley the warblers still kept hearing about them and seeing them on jacob ben israel's blog)

jeff, nick, trent, wes and david were the only real friends blaine had there

wes and david has already gratuated when the slushie happened, and nick, jeff and trent all apologized to blaine after that (even though they had no idea that was gonna happen) but their friendship was never the same

- blaine and cooper's relationship

as we know, blaine and cooper didnt got very along when blaine was growing up, cooper is 9 years older than blaine, and has always been really hard on him and thaat made blaine really dislike cooper, even tho he really wanted for them to be friends, he always has bitter feelings towards him duo to all of the pressure and expectation he was under because cooper was the oldest, and blaine felt like he had to be just as good or better than him, so he also had a lot A LOT of jealousy

but that started to change after "big brother", when they talk things out, cooper finally realizes how blaine feels, and starts doing his best to be best brother to blaine

they dont become besties immediatly, blaine helps him with his audition (which makes kurt really proud and happy seeing cooper being all excited talking to blaine, while blaine is trying to pretend like hes cool but actually hes just as excited), and they start to talk more and more after that

after finn dies is when they start getting actually close, after the funeral, he calls cooper but dosent say the reason why, he just says that he loves him and that he misses his big brother, they call and talk to each other a lot more after cooper finds out about finn

when cooper has a son, he and blaine teach the little guy how to dance and they play a lot of happy and fun piano songs to him

- the anderhummel family

blaine and burt are actually really close, they both like sports and beer so they watch games together and bet about whos gonna win, burt sorta of became the dad blaine lost, but in a non weird way, because they both agreed that blaine calling burt "dad" after he married kurt was just... weird

finn and blaine played a lot of videogames together, sam and puck played with them too, but when kurt was helping on dinner or more interested in a magazine or trying to convince carole to let him do a makeover on her, finn and blaine played videogames and maybe sometimes gossip about kurt and rachel (after he became besties with sam he did that same thing but hey playing videogames and talking about your s/o is fun!)

carole took care of blaine when he was in the hospital for the eye surgery, and when he was hangover at kurt's after biota she helped him with all the vomiting and headaches and all of that

pam met carole and burt when blaine got slushied, blaine was already like family to the hudson-hummels at that point, so when burt found out what happened he ran to the hospital, (carole was already working there anyway) and thats where they met, it wasnt ideal and all of them wete stressed and worried but they got along pretty well

pam, burt and carole werent really close since pam was usually out working, but the few times they sat down to talk to each other they really liked. pam thinks burt and carole are a sweet couple, that raised two wondeful boys and burt and carole think that pam is a sweet and funny lady, they all exchanged embarassing stories about kurt and blaine (that made them go "MOM DONT TELL THEM THAT" or "DAS STOP I WAS 7")

pam absolutely adores kurt, he was fascinated when he found out she had a line of cosmetics and spended hours talking to her about skincare routines

blaine can always make carole laugh, she thinks hes a sweetheart and usually keeps burt from bursting into the room when the door of kurts bedroom is closed ("i told them already, leave at least 2 inches open, is that really so hard??" "honey, relax they're just watching a movie" "im going in there" "no you're not leave the boys alone")

burt has walked in a few times on klaine making out on the couch and he always makes a joke about it to not make it awkward

burt was thrillled to know he was gonna be a grandpa, and he spoils tracy anderson to OBLIVION (blaine doesnt argues because he sorta of does the same thing)

even after both breakups, burt and blaine had always kept in touch, maybe it wasnt what it used to be when he and kurt were still mad at each other, but once they go back being friends, blaine is a little more comfortable in hangin out with the hudson-family

- blaine's depression in s6

i think is canon thay blaine had depression and anxiety during the whole show, right? it just got worse in s6 because kurt breaking up with him was sort of what pulled the trigger

it begun when his father neglected him, and it only got worse and worse, he was abandoned by his father and sometimes felt like by his mother and brother too, he had anxiety and it got worse after sadie hawkings, then kurt and him broke up for the first time, and he kept bottling it all up until it all reached the boiling point and it all exploded when kurt broke up with him

(side note, i think that when kurt started pulling away from him in s6, it reminded him of his dad pulling away too, his dad tried to bond with him but i feel that as harder blaine tried to make his dad stay, didnt matter and his dad kept pulling away until he was gone, that makes a parallel to s6 breakup, and why blaine was trying so SO hard to make kurt stay, because he had been there before, and he wasnt good enough for his dad, and he really wanted to be good enough for kurt)

so, after they breakup, blaine stays in a cheap hotel, not getting out of bed and feeling empty inside, his phone buzzed a little with missing calls from his friends but at some point the batery died and he just ignored, he only charged after 2 days because he probably had to let people know he's still alive

he went back to the loft in the afternoon, because he knew kurt wouldn't be there, he was going away and leaving nothing behind when kurt showed up, blaine was kinda of embarassed because he was probably stinking and his hair and clothes were a mess

im not sure if they talked at all after the breakup night, but i kinda feel that blaine might have said to kurt something like "you think i'm broken? when are gonna realize the problem here isnt just me? i should have known, everytime things get serious and scary between us you run, you're so afraid of something and honestly i have no idea of what, please just stay away from me" (i dont knooow he was angry and being all cold to kurt and shit i think that happened and maybe thats what made kurt go to therapy)

he got kicked out of nyada because he didnt left his hotel room for anything other than food, and he felt even more lost after receiving the email saying he was no longer a student there, thats when he decided to go back to lima

in lima, he barely left his room, he didnt ate for days and when he wasnt crying he was sleeping, his friends would call, text and sometimes try to visit him but he never texted back, answered the calls or opened the doors for them, sam was the only one that had some success because he was living in lima too and could go to blaine's house more often, sometimes he got lucky and blaine would open the door for him

at first he tried to do pep talks to help his bestie get better, but nothing helped so at one point he just sat there with blaine and did nothing with him, because at least like that he wouldnt be alone

one day blaine felt a little better and started trying to be okay again, it was never easy but he got a job at breadsticks, and even tho he would much rather be in his bed he kept working because at least like that his mind was busy with something

after he started therapy, he still felt empty inside, the world was still sorta of grey to him and he didnt felt like doing anything, so he had to take meds for that, and kept taking them even after kurt cane back (but as blaine was getting better they slowly became less and less needed)

when blaine started working at dalton, he was already in a much better place that he was when he came back, and throughout s6 he was still battling depression, and wasnt always okay, sometimes he would still want to just be alone and dont talk to anybody or do anything, and if that happened when he was surronded with people he would just be more quiet, that sometimes got rachel and kurt's attention, because they're not used to this "new" blaine and when they asked him if he was doing okay he would just say "yeah, im just tired" sam later on explained to them what that usually meant, it meant that blaine needed some alone time because he was draining himself a lot

- blaine at nyada vs blaine at nyu

soooo i have a good theory about this one, at nyada blaine was constantly surronded by people who would probably kill someone to get at the top, to be the best

and was such a competitive place, that ended up being toxic for blaine. i used to think that he didnt fit there because he always was one of the best in show choir and dalton and he was always *that* guy, but now i think he didnt fit there because actually he dosent like competition that much

okay, sure, playful competiton with your friends its fun, show choir competiton is fun, fighting with tina, mercedes, rachel, santana and unique about solos was fun because it was serious but he was with his friends so okay, whatever

but the competition they had at nyada was just SO MUCH, and lets agree nyada is kinda of a toxic place in general, people made fun of kurts face and clothing there, rachel's "friends" ditched her when she lost the diva off to kurt and started kissing up to him, and (im not sure about this one but like 99%) people laughed when blaine lost to kurt at combat's class

my point is, in nyada, people only like you if you do well in classes, there's a lot of lying and backstabbing going on and c'mon blaine pratically grew up like this with cooper

always not good enough, always behind, always made fun of, never being great at anything, so maybe thats why blaine felt so stressed at nyada, and why he gets so insecure in 5x16, seeing kurt being praised and getting all of that attention might have reminded him of the years he and cooper didnt get along so well

he didnt found himself at nyada, mostly he was there because it was said to be the best school and rachel and kurt were there, so great, right?

but i get the feeling that at nyu things were a little lighter, not easier, but lighter, it didnt had so much toxic people, it wasnt a place where it was kill or be killed, people helped each other when needed and yes there was still competition, obviously but (almost) nobody made fun of people for failing

(i said almost there because im sure there was some douchbags there too, they're everywhere, but i hope you got my point)

- blaine's friendships

i am almost done i am so sorry this is so long i've been here for like 2 hours

i have some small headcanons about blaine's friends, because we did NOT get enough of his friendships (im leaving kurt out of this one because maybe one day ill do a meta/hc/theory about klaine....... maybe)

mike and blaine were besties on s3

they both like to dance and sometimes they+brittany would do a dance number together, sometimes for the glee club to see, sometimes only to themselves because thats fun

mike talked with blaine after the its not right but its okay number to see what happened and if he was okay (actually it was mostly blaine just venting about it "AND THEN HE SAID HE WANTED TO MAKE KURTS VOICE HIS RINGTONE I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK????????")

blaine talked to mike about mike's dad because he knew what mike was going through and they both agreed thay family sucks sometimes

after mike graduated he and blaine kept têxtil each other and sometimes sending gifs or videos of dance moves to each other

santana and blaine were actually really good friends

after the glee club found out about what santana's grandmother had done when she came out, when they were alone blaine told santana about his dad, even tho he was afraid she was gonna tell everyone because he doesnt like talking about it, just so that she would know that shes not alone and its not her fault, santana never once teased or told anyone about this, she always sorta of liked him and thought he was nice but that moment she started seeing him as a friend

while preparing for the new directions vs warblers in 3x11, santana tried helping blaine bring out his inner bad boy, she helped him pick his outfit and they planned together the whole performance

(im stealing this one from a post i rebloged i guess a day ago? i didnt found the blog to tag but this is the post) > santana and blaine are friends on facebook, and follow each other on twitter and instagram, and they always spam on each others profiles because they're comfortable to do that with each other

santana kinda sees blaine as a male version of brittany, so she has this need of protecting him (which is kinda why she was super invested in getting him justice for his eye)

speaking of his eye, when he was at home before surgery, santana went there and told that she was gonna make sebastian confess what he'd put on thr slushie, blaine asked her how she knew where she lived but she cut him off, she also came back there after and told him everything, and she and kurt asked him what he wanted to do about it

brittany and blaine really were sunshine twins

they always liked each other, blaine didnt get her at first, but he got used to it

she always talked to him about cats, and what lord tubbington was up to, she tried inviting him to fondue for 2 but he knew that she would ask some really private questions so he always came up with an excuse

after he almost went back to dalton, she (alongside with tina, sam and marley) tried to make him feel as welcome as possible

when she was dating sam, sometimes the three of them would go to her house after school and cuddle in her bed with lord tubbington while watching a movie

when britt was planning their weddings, she asked blaine to try up some suits (with the excuse that she wasnt sure the one she picked was right), but she asked him that like a day after he kissed kurt at rachels party so she could tell he was kinda sad and asked him why, he told her and she said it was gonna be okay because their love was magical (it was weird but it did made blaine feel good, so...) she was also the only person he told that

blaine and britt always have ideas like "we should totally put glitter in the entire room to celebrate our wedding aniversary!" kurt and santana shut down the idea at the same time

blamtina were like 3 chaotic brothers

sam and blaine would have a dumb idea that would result in absolute chaos (but funny tho) and tina always plays along with them even if she thinks its a bad idea

the three of them are completely harry potter nerds, sam and blaine are hufflepuffs while tina is a ravenclaw, in a halloween party in s4 they went as the golden trio

after graduation, sam and blaine still skyped tina and told her all about ny, and she would tell them all about her collage

sam kept his promise of sending his imitations to tina and blaine sometimes would call her to vent about a fight he and kurt had

blaine read all of the harry potter books to sam

after sam talked blaine into staying at mckinley, sam and tina would always be with blaine, always talking to him, and spending time with him, thats how the 3 of them got so close

marley and blaine were good friends

when marley joined the new directions, blaine was one of the first to make her feel welcome

when blaine almost left for dalton, she tried make him see that she liked him in the nd too, and would randomly start talking to him so that he wouldnt feel alone

she would rant about jake to him sometimes, like how he wanted to have sex but she wasnt ready, and blaine told her she should do it only when she felt comfortable

after she got suspended, he apologized for yelling at her because of the performance, and remembered mr schue that she was recovering from an eating desorder and that he shouldnt be so hard at her

unique and blaine were "frenemies"

they started off not liking each other, since they both wanted it to be the new rachel, even after blaine won, he and unique still were kinda competitive with each other

but eventually they became sort-of-friends, they sang together sometimes when no one else was there, and they liked to pretend to not like each other but yes they did and it was just their thing

sometimes marley would do a sleepover and she would call blaine, unique and tina, while marley was talking about jake or tina was talking about missing mike, blaine would braid unique's wig and she would try to convince him to let her see his hair without gel

when the whole plot of unique and the bathroom happened, when mr schue told everyone he couldnt give up twerking, blaine stood up for unique saying that wasnt fair and mr schue should try harder to help her, he also held her hand (alongside with marley) when she was scared of having to go to the bathroom again

blaine and mercedes talked to each other more than twice :O

lol ok im not sorry for that title

mercedes and blaine LIVED together people, she used to be kurts best friend, and sams girlfriend are you telling me they barely talked to each other? no

in fact, they really like each other's company, blaine is kinda of a goofball and mercedes thinks its funny

he would ask her to talk to sam when blaine wanted something from him, and mercedes did the same with kurt

sam and blaine would do stupid things together (like dance around their house in their underwear) just to make mercedes laugh, they swore to never tell anyone, and they never did

sometimes at 3 am when no one could sleep they would all have a little dance party until they got tired

blaine and mercedes are junky food addicts, they eat healthy and stuff but they love some cake at 5 in the morning

one time when kurt and mercedes were arguing about the tots, blaine sided with mercedes and told her he agreed that tots are delicious

#ok i think thats it #if you read it until the end.... are you okay?#i had some more but i want to post this today and i want to go to sleep so lets leave it like that #maybe i should have splitted in 2 parts???? its so long 😳#i hope this didnt get to tiring to read #anywayyyyy #glee #blaine meta #blaine anderson #blangst #ps if you see some mispelling ignore it im kinda sleepy so... hehe

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kurts-still-here · 3 years ago

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They Can See Right Through Me Glee TOT Challenge FanFiction

@celery-elliry @useless-fanfictions @gleethisorthatchallenge

Hi everyone, this is my third fic for the Glee TOT Challenge and the prompt I choose was “Have you been taking take of yourself?” because it was perfect for angst and I love angst. Hope everyone enjoys and tells me what they thought of it etheir on here, A03 OR FanFiction.Net. Happy reading 🤗🤗😁😁

Archive Of Our Own

FanFiction.Net

The first time the Warblers had seen Kurt was in the dining hall during lunch. They had heard rumors all that week about a new transfer student and were dying to know who it was. Not that they were gossipy or anything but maybe this kid could be another member to their show choir group. They were always looking for new members, they just had to be good enough to get in.

They had been sitting at the designated lunch table for all the Warblers when Sebastian had walked over to them, hand in hand with another boy that they had never seen before. The first thing the group noticed was how cute the boy was. He was very good looking with pale, smooth skin, blue eyes and perfectly styled hair. He held himself upright with confidence but his face told a different story. His eyes were frantic, like he was afraid that someone was going to jump out and attack him at any minute.

The second thing they noticed was how Sebastian and the boy were holding hands and then they thought that maybe the new kid was scared because of Sebastian. Sebastian wasn’t the most… how would you say it… gentle person. Even though he was their friend, Sebastian was arrogant and obnoxious and very straight forward. And his straight forwardness may have scared the new kid off.

“Hi Seb,” Jeff greeted him as Sebastian sat down next to him. He had let go of the new kid’s hand so he just stood there looking very out of place. “Who’s your friend?”

“Oh, this is Kurt,” He informed the group, reaching out his hand so that Kurt would come sit with him. “He’s new here,”

“I’ve heard of you before,” Trent said, excitedly. “You’re from McKinley.”

“Yeah, Kurt Hummel, right?” Thad asked him in which Kurt just slightly nodded his head. “You were apart of the New Directions,”

“That’s right and I’ve persuaded him to try out for the Warblers,” Sebastian beamed proudly. “Isn’t that right babe?” Kurt nodded his head again.

“Oh,” Wes said, raising his eyebrows at the other Warblers when Sebastian’s head was turned. So Kurt was “babe”? It wasn’t that Wes was homophobic or anything, in fact he was bisexual. No, it was just that Sebastian didn’t really seem like boyfriend material to him. He just hoped that Sebastian wouldn’t do anything stupid to break Kurt’s heart.

“That’s amazing,” Jeff exclaimed. “You're amazing Kurt. I watched your cheerleading performance at Nationals on TV last year. You were great,” Kurt just gave him a small smile before looking back to Sebastian.

The Warblers continued talking to one another about various subjects and one by one they subtly noticed how uncomfortable Kurt seemed. He was looking down at his hands, fidgeting with them and he seemed very nervous. They guessed that he was just shy or something like that and didn’t think much about it once they saw him. He would soon learn that they were all nice and trusting and soon they would become great friends.

Sebastian was the only person to confront Kurt. He took one of his hands so that he would stop and realize what he was doing before leaning in to whisper in his ear.

“Are you okay?” He asked. “You seem nervous,”

“I’m fine,” Kurt whispered back, still looking down. “I’m sorry, I’m probably embarrassing you in front of your friends,”

“What no,” Sebastian assured him. “You aren’t embarrassing me. They love you already, I can tell.” Kurt still didn’t seem convinced though so Sebastian continued to hold his hand, comforting him while not drawing any attention to him. Sebastian was more gentle than people gave him credit for.

Kurt was an odd fellow. He wasn’t weird like a nerd or a dork, he was just quiet and shy but sometimes he was too quiet and shy and it made it seem like he had a problem with people or something.

Kurt was an amazing singer. Later that day when the Warblers had met him, Kurt had auditioned for their group singing “I Want To Hold Your Hand” and his performance was outstanding. The emotion he put into his audition gave him a standing ovation and at the end of it he was near to tears. They would’ve been crazy to deny him into joining so they automatically accepted him and gave him Pavarotti, their mascot.

To say Kurt loved the bird was an understatement because Kurt took the bird with him everywhere. The bird’s cage was always on his desk during classes, always next to his bag on the floor at lunch and was always on his table with him when he did his homework. Kurt would take the bird out of his cage and would let him crawl on his finger while the bird sang. Kurt hummed along with him and everyone thought it was really cute.

Kurt didn’t really interact with everyone besides Sebastian and the bird. Sebastian was always holding hands with Kurt, they went everywhere together and the Warblers had never seen him so caring and kind towards another person before, they didn’t even know that it was possible. But then there was the couple, walking down the hallway hand in hand or kissing in the dorm room and it was really sweet. They only wished that Kurt would be more open with them so that they could get to know him better.

It wasn’t like they hadn’t tried to talk to Kurt because they had, it was just that they had given up. They would try to interact with him during the classes they shared or in their shared dorm room after classes but Kurt would just reply to them asking how his day was before returning his attention back to his work. And they knew that Kurt was trying to be rude or anything because he seemed way too sweet to do that but then they just wished that he knew that he could talk to them. It couldn’t be easy to transfer to a new school in the middle of the new semester, leaving all your friends behind and being hours away from your family. It just made them question why Kurt had come to Dalton in the first place.

They assumed that the two things, Kurt not talking to anyone and transferring were connected to each other but how, they didn’t know. So they let Kurt sit with them and they continued to ask how he was doing and if he needed anything in the hopes that he would open up more but he never did.

One day Kurt and Sebastian came to sit down with them at lunch like they usually did everyday when the group noticed something new about Kurt. He never ate anything. He would choose a small salad or a bowl of fruit to eat but would end up just pecking at it like he was Pavarotti. They didn’t really think much of it, just that maybe he had lost his appetite due to being upset about being away from everyone that he knew or that it had something to do with nerves so they didn’t question it or bring it up to Sebastian.

Sebastian however, noticed it and knew the reason behind it and it wasn’t just nerves. Kurt had a slight eating problem. It wasn’t much of a disorder, it was just that when he was under stress Kurt would stop eating. And it appeared to him that Kurt had been stressed for a long time seeing how thin and sickly he looked. You really had to look for it to notice it but Kurt was far too skinny. His uniform looked baggy and loose when he wore it and when he wasn’t in his uniform he wore pajama pants or sweatpants and a t-shirt or a hoodie. And it wasn’t like it was a crime or like it was abnormal for one to wear those pieces of clothing because all the boys wore things like that but the clothes that Kurt wore never fit him right, they were too big. And his facial structure was sharp, a little too sharp and his eyes were sunken in, giving him dark bags under his eyes that he had to cover with makeup. He was adorable to Sebastian but he would admit that Kurt was not the picture of health.

So Sebastian tried to help him. He would remind Kurt subtly to eat something even if it wasn’t much and would try to reduce the amount of stress his boyfriend felt even though his methods rarely ever worked. That day in particular was when David noticed that Kurt’s behavior was something more serious.

He had been conversing with Nick and Wes about potential ideas for group numbers for Regionals when his eyes drifted over to Kurt and Sebastian who were quietly talking to one another. He rarely ever heard Kurt speak which was probably why he was drawn to the scene and why he eavesdropped on their conversation.

Kurt had been staring at a granola bar that Sebastian had placed in front of him like it was poisonous or like it would attack him if he touched it. His eyes were wide and it seemed like he was trying to distance himself from the food as much as possible. Sebastian was sitting right next to Kurt with a comforting, encouraging hand on Kurt’s shoulder, trying to persuade him to eat.

“Come on Kurt,” Sebastian said. “You have to eat something,”

“I’m not hungry,” Kurt whispered back, once again fidgeting with his hands.

“You told me that at breakfast,” Sebastian reminded him and Kurt sighed. “Please, for me. You can do it,”

Kurt shook his head.

“Well can you tell me what’s bothering you then? Why you’re so worried today,”

“It’s nothing,” Kurt told him, his voice breaking a little, “I just miss them and they’re ignoring me,”

“Well what did you do?” Sebastian asked, rubbing Kurt’s back. “Not that you did anything wrong but why would they ignore you? I thought they were your friends,”

“It’s not important,” Kurt said. “I don’t want to talk about it but I’m not hungry,”

“It’s important if it’s bothering you babe. I want to help you. What did they do?”

“I have to go,” Kurt suddenly said, turning around to grab his bag and the bird cage. “Will you come with me?”

“Of course,” Sebastian said, standing up with Kurt and taking his hand. David had met eyes with Sebastian and had raised his eyebrow in a questioning manner as if to ask if Kurt was okay but Sebastian just smiled at him and waved his hand as if to assure David that he was fine. But David knew that he was lying because Kurt wasn’t okay, not if he was so stressed to the point that he was starving himself. So he decided that he would look out for Kurt and that maybe he could find a way to help him out. To find a way to make him feel more at home and welcome at Dalton or to make him feel more calm and relaxed. Kurt was a Warbler now and they were a tight group. They were all friends and they all looked out for each other to make sure they were okay. Kurt wasn’t any different to them.

Kurt had been at Dalton for a month now and it was Regionals. The competition was being held at McKinley and everyone could tell that Kurt was nervous about being at his old school. The reason why, well Sebastian of course was the only one to know of course and of course he didn’t tell them why. Not that the Warblers were trying to get all up in Kurt’s business or anything, it was just that they had started to get closer to the boy and they wanted to know if he was going to be okay.

Kurt was starting to act more comfortable around them. He still didn’t talk much but he seemed to pay attention to the conversations the boys had more instead of being off in his own little world. When he first arrived, all Kurt did was spend time in his dorm room with Sebastian if the rest of the Warblers were in the common room but now he occasionally joined them. Sure he sat away from them and usually did his own thing, homework or writing on a notebook but he seemed to enjoy their company more and that made the Warblers happy.

So after the competition where the Warblers had won they were all standing around outside, talking excitedly to one another about performing at Nationals in New York. They were really proud of themselves and of one another for winning and Wes was lecturing them about how hard they were going to have to work to win and how he was planning on adding extra rehearsals to their schedule so they could practice more. He was ignored for the most part except some teasing about how uptight and serious he was being. They wanted to celebrate, not rehearse.

Unfortunately their celebration was rudely interrupted by a group coming outside and a few of the members shouting.

“KURT HUMMEL,” One girl screamed, running up to the boy and almost knocking him over. She walked towards him while he walked back into a wall and hit his head, hard, against the bricks while the short, brunette pointed her finger into Kurt’s chest. “HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US?”

“Rachel,” A tall boy said, coming up behind her along with a boy with obviously dyed, blonde hair, a boy with a mohawk, a girl with long, black hair and a girl with blonde hair pulled up in a ponytail. The rest of their group consisted of a boy in a wheelchair, another blonde girl with her hair pulled up in a ponytail, a well styled black girl, an Asian girl with blue streaked hair and a tall, skinny Asian boy who were all standing by the door and who looked scared.

“Rachel, come on leave him alone,” The blonde boy said from behind the tall boy. “It’s not his fault we lost,”

“The hell it’s not,” The girl with black hair said. “He probably leaked the setlist to the gay boys from Hogwarts,”

“Kurt wouldn’t do that you guys,” The tall boy told them. “Get off of him Rachel,”

“KURT, YOU KNEW HOW MUCH THIS MEANT TO US, HOW MUCH IT MEANT TO ME AND YOU BEAT US?” The girl named Rachel shouted at him causing Nick, Jeff and Sebastian to come over to the group so they could get Kurt away from the maniac. “I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS. I HATE YOU. I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU WOULD BETRAY US LIKE THAT,”

“Excuse me,” Sebastian said, passively aggressively as he tapped Rachel on her shoulder and pushed past her to get to Kurt. “Would you like to explain to me just as to why you are screaming at my boyfriend?”

“Boyfriend?” The group sputtered, shocked.

“Please tell me this is a joke,” The girl with long hair said. “I knew you guys did orgies there,”

“How dare you…” Jeff started to say but Nick held him back.

“I’m still waiting,” Sebastian said, pulling Kurt into a hug and noticing that his head was bleeding. “Fuck, you’re bleeding babe. Look what you fucking did you psycho. What the hell is wrong with you people?”

“Um, hi,” The tall boy said, awkwardly as he held out his hand and Sebastian shook it, hesitantly. “I’m Finn, Kurt’s step brother and this is Rachel, Santana, Sam, Puck and Quinn.”

“Hi,” Sebastian said, annoyed. “Now what the hell was that about?”

“He leaked our setlist to your show choir competition team, that’s what this is about,” The girl named Quinn said, her hands on her hips.

“Would you three stop it already,” The boy with the mohawk named Puck yelled. “Princess didn’t tell them okay, he wouldn’t do that. And look what you did Berry, he’s fucking bleeding you diva,”

“Well I’m sorry,” Rachel huffed. “But this is inexcusable. First he ditches us and now he tells all his new team members about our performances. He’s selfish you guys,”

“He is not Rachel,” The boy named Sam said. “You know how bad the bullying was. He couldn’t stay here,”

“Yeah Karofsky threatened to kill him and all you’re thinking about is yourself and a stupid competition that barely even matters,” Finn yelled at her. “You’re the one who’s selfish,”

“Wait what,” Nick asked, questioning as to what everyone was talking about. Who was Karofsky? Bullying? Someone threatened to kill Kurt? But why, he was so sweet and kind? Was it because he was gay? Were these people homophobic? “Come on Jeff, we have to go. Seb can handle it,” Nick said before trying to drag his boyfriend away but Jeff stayed put, wanting to defend Kurt so Nick stayed with him.

“Look I don’t know what’s going on here,” Jeff shouted, making himself known to the group. “But you people are horrible. I don’t even see how Kurtie could consider you people he’s friends. He didn’t leak your setlist okay? We won fair and square and if you can’t handle defeat and be a good sport then you have no business competing in the first place.”

“Oh whatever blondie,” The girl named Santana said, rolling her eyes. “How are we supposed to believe that, we don’t know what you guys talk about when you aren’t having sex with multiple people at a time at Hogwarts although I have a few ideas,”

“Alright that it’s,” Jeff said, pushing his sleeves up and starting to charge towards the girl before Nick and Sebastian held him back. “Let me at her,”

“No boys let him go,” Santana said, pushing up her own sleeves. “I’m about to show him what goes down when you mess with me, Lima Heights style. And it ain’t pretty, prep boy,”

“No, no fighting you guys,” Sam said, stepping in front of Santana to block her. “We’re competitors, not enemies,”

“We’re leaving,” Sebastian said, taking Kurt's hand and wiping the tears that had fallen down his face with his free hand. “Leave him alone, I don’t want you near him. Come on guys, lets go,”

Sebastian took Kurt with him as he walked away from the group, Nick and Jeff following behind him.

“What was that about Kurt?” Sebastian asked him once they had rejoined the Warblers. “I mean, you told me they were assholes but that girl attacked you,”

Kurt didn’t answer Sebastian and instead, cried into his chest and hugged him tightly.

“No hey no don’t cry babe,” Sebastian said, rubbing his back. “You’re okay,”

“Kurtie, you’re bleeding really bad, hon,” Jeff told him. “We need to get you to a doctor,”

“Jeff’s right,” Nick said. “We should take him to the hospital. He might have a concussion,”

“Shit,” Sebastian cursed, pulling Kurt away from him so he could see his face. “Hey Kurt, how do you feel right now? Are you dizzy?”

Kurt shook his head no.

“Do you feel sick?”

Again, Kurt shook his head.

“Does your head hurt at all?” Sebastian asked him.

Kurt nodded his head yes.

“Okay then. Let’s go,” He said, gesturing to the other boys. “We can take my car, let me just tell Wes that we’re leaving,”

So Sebastian told Wes about what happened and Wes wanted to complain to the show choir committee about the lack of sportsmanship the group showed but Sebastian said that they shouldn’t do it until they’ve talked to Kurt about it. Sebastian then left and went to his car where Nick, Jeff and Kurt were already inside waiting for him. Sebastian sighed, getting in the car and driving off, pissed that he was taking his boyfriend to the hospital for a concussion instead of being out and celebrating with his friends.

They got to the hospital and stayed there until around midnight while Kurt got checked out. Turned out he did have a mild concussion and his symptoms got worse as time went on. He had to have paperwork signed so that he could be released from the hospital but his dad was currently in DC so the papers had to be faxed over to him so he could sign them which was why they had stayed so long. And apparently his dad didn’t even care that Kurt had been hurt, nevertheless by people that had claimed to be his friends. He just signed the paperwork over the phone with Kurt and didn’t even ask him how he was feeling. Sebastian figured that not only did Kurt not have a good relationship with his so-called friends but he also didn’t have a good relationship with his family.

The four boys left the hospital and this time Nick drove so that Sebastian could sit with Kurt in the back seat.

“You feeling okay babe?” He asked Kurt who was half asleep at this point. The doctor had told him that it was safe for Kurt to fall asleep at this point but he still was afraid that Kurt would fall asleep and that he wouldn’t wake up so he tried to get Kurt to stay awake until they reached Dalton.

“Yes,” Kurt told him.

“Are you sure?”

“No,”

“You’ll be okay,” Sebastian assured him, pulling him into a hug. “I love you,”

“I love you too,” Kurt told him, snuggling into his chest while Sebastian kissed his forehead.

After the debacle at Regionals the Warblers became even more protective and concerned towards Kurt and they could feel him pulling away from them again. This time they didn’t let him go so easily. They invited him to watch movies with them in their common room or to ask for his opinions on various topics. They just wanted him to feel safe and included and they wanted to assure him that he had real friends, not fake ones like the friends he had at his old school.

So they became particularly concerned when Wes had called a late night Warbler rehearsal after dinner and when Kurt didn’t show up. Sebastian had told the group that Kurt would be a little late getting back to Dalton because he had spent the day in Lima with his dad and step-mom but then Kurt didn’t show up at all and the boys started to worry. Kurt wasn’t answering his phone and had been three hours late. It was getting late and the boys were considering telling the dean about their friend when he finally showed up.

Wes, David, Thad, Trent, Nick, Jeff and Sebastian were all in their dorm room that they shared with one another, conversing about what to do about their missing friend when they heard the door open and saw Kurt walk in the room. To say that the boys were relieved that Kurt had come back and that he wasn’t dead or stranded alone somewhere was an understatement but then they took a closer look and their panic came back.

Kurt was visibly shaking, soaked head to toe since it had been raining that day and had various cuts and bruises on his face. It was hard to tell whether the water on his face was rain or tears but they assumed that it was both. Kurt looked more scared then he usually did and hugged himself tightly as he slid down the door, breaking down into tears. It seemed like the boy hadn't noticed that he wasn’t alone and was surprised when the boys came up to him. Sebastian and Nick bent down in front of him as they both took one of his hands to hold.

“Kurt what happened?” Sebastian asked, trying to figure out whether he was more upset or angry and whether he would stay with Kurt or go and beat up whoever hurt him. “Where were you, we were scared?”

“He’s gonna kill me,” Kurt said, in between sobs. “He found me Seb… I was leaving my dad’s house, walking to my car when he attacked me with his friends and… and I tried to get away, to get my dad or Finn but they had already left and …” Kurt started to say but his voice trailed off before he continued crying.

“Who was it babe?” Sebastian asked, sharing a look with Nick. “Was it Karofsky?”

“Yes,” Kurt whispered. “Please Seb, I don’t want to die,”

“Hey, look at me,” Sebastian said, tilting Kurt’s head up so that they were looking into each other’s eyes. “You aren’t going to die, I promise you. Don’t worry, okay? But you have to tell us what happened so that we can help you. Can you do that?”

“No,” Kurt said, shaking his head and it broke the boys’ hearts to see how scared and vulnerable he was. “I don’t want to die. I can’t tell anyone,”

“Kurt babe,” Sebastian started to say. “You aren’t going to die, I told you that but you have to tell us what happened so that we can make sure it doesn’t happen again. You don’t want it to happen again right?” Kurt nodded his head. “Okay then, so how about we get you cleaned up and into some dry clothes and then you can tell us what happened.”

“You can’t tell anyone,” Kurt begged. “Please don’t tell my dad. All he’ll do is say that I deserved it for not sticking up for myself. Please Seb…”

“We won’t tell him okay?” Sebastian promised him. “Come on,”

He helped Kurt stand up and gave him a hug while Kurt continued to cry and Sebastian faced the Warblers, uncertain of what to do.

“Can someone get me some… I don’t know, band aids?” He asked. “What the fuck am I supposed to use?”

“Well go get some disinfectant and bandages from the nurse’s station,” Wes told him before leaving the room in a hurry with Thad and David.

“Did he really say that his dad was going to defend his attackers?” Trent asked, shocked. “What kind of sick person says something like that?”

“Well they don’t exactly have the best relationship with each other,” Sebastian sniffed. “That’s one of the reasons why he came here, so his dad could get rid of him and so he wouldn’t have to deal with the bullying at his old school,”

“That’s horrible,” Jeff said with tears in his eyes.

“I know,” Sebastian sighed, rubbing Kurt’s back. “I'm gonna help him change. Tell me when Wes comes back,”

Sebastian led Kurt into their room and shut the door before truing around to see Kurt sitting on his bed.

“You’re gonna be fine Kurt,” Sebastian assured him again. “You’re safe now,”

“I’m scared,” Kurt admitted, looking up into Sebastian’s eyes. “And it hurts,”

“What hurts?” Sebastian asked, sitting down next to Kurt on the bed.

“My head, I hit it on the ground.” Kurt explained. “And my wrist,” He said, holding out his arm so that Sebastian could see that his wrist was red and swollen. It was at least sprained. “Someone stomped on it,”

“Oh yeah that does look bad,” Sebastian told him, taking his arm and holding it gently. “But we can wrap it and ice it so it can rest. And at least it’s not the hand you write with right?”

“Right,” Kurt agreed. “I’m sorry Seb. I would’ve called but they broke my phone. I passed out and I guess they eventually left but when I woke up it was already pretty late so I started driving back here but my wrist… and it was far away… and…” Kurt’s voice broke off and he became overwhelmed and started crying again. “I’m so sorry,”

“Kurt you have nothing to be sorry for babe,” Sebastian assured him while bringing him into a hug. “I’m just sorry for not being there.”

“It’s not your fault,” Kurt told him, embracing the hug. “Can I change?”

“Yeah,” Sebastian said, letting Kurt go. “Go ahead,”

Kurt got off the bed and went over to his draw to pick out a pair of clean clothes before going into the bathroom to change. A few minutes later he came back out in dry clothes and went back over to Sebastian, hugging him again.

“I love you,” Kurt told Sebastian. “I really do and I’m sorry that I’m like this. I don’t want to be this way,”

“No Kurt,” Sebastian said. “You’re perfect. You really are and I don’t want you to change one bit. You’re cute and talented and smart and kind and you’re the best person I know. It’s not your fault everyone’s an asshole,”

“Do you mean it?” Kurt asked, sincerely.

“Every word. I love you too,” Sebastian assured him, giving him a kiss. “I’m so glad I met you and I promise, I’m never going to let anyone hurt you ever again,”

“I know you won’t,” Kurt said. “I’m tired,”

“Wes, David and Thad should be back soon but I guess if you want to we can lay down until they come back,” Sebastian suggested and he laid down with Kurt in his bed, his arms wrapped around the smaller boy.

Kurt was the best thing that had ever happened to Sebastian and he was damned if he was going to mess up what they had going on. From the moment Sebastian met Kurt that day when they had bumped into each other, from the moment he looked and met eyes with Kurt, he knew he loved him. And he was lucky that Kurt loved him back. And he wanted to hurt anyone that had ever hurt Kurt in the past and he wanted to protect him at all cost. And he was going to do that no matter what he needed to do. Kurt meant that much to him.

They fell asleep in each other’s arms and didn’t hear when Wes and Nick knocked on their door. The boys opened the door to find Kurt and Sebastian asleep and debated on whether they should wake the pair up or not.

“Aww, look how cute they are Wes,” Nick cooed. “You can’t possibly think about waking them up now,”

“Kurt needs to be looked at,” Wes explained. “They can be cute again once he’s fixed up,”

“Since when are you a doctor Wesley?” Nick huffed. “Let them sleep. Kurt’s probably exhausted as it is and you blabbing on and on about god knows what isn’t going to make him feel better. You can take care of your patient in the morning,”

“Fine then,” Wes said, rolling his eyes. “Let’s go,”

The boys softly closed the door and left Kurt and Sebastian to sleep peacefully. Wes just couldn’t believe what was happening to Kurt. He had heard from David about Kurt not eating when he got stressed and then that incident at Regionals with his old friends and now someone had tried to kill him. It wasn’t fair. Kurt was the most innocent, kind person he knew and to learn that he had so many people that hated him and that wanted to hurt him made him upset. If it was because Kurt was gay then people really needed to grow up and learn that hating someone because of the gender they loved was ridiculous and made no sense. And if it was because of Kurt’s personality then everyone was crazy. The poor boy needed a break and in the end, that's why Wes had decided to let him be.

It was now December, Kurt was attacked a month ago and he was still dealing with the effects of his attack. Sebastian and the rest of the Warblers had carried out their promise and hadn’t told anyone about what had happened that night but they were still considering it. Kurt was a mess and they meant that with all respect.

At first Kurt had gone on acting like everything was fine. His behavior was normal (or normal for Kurt anyway) and he stayed close to the Warblers and Sebastian. He didn’t leave the school not even if someone went with him but that was understandable. But then he had a nightmare.

Trent was the first one to wake up when he heard a high pitched scream coming from the other side of their room. He shared a room with Thad who was the next person to wake up and they walked out of their room into the common room to see a sleepy eyed Nick and Jeff also awake.

“Did you guys hear that?” Trent asked, rubbing his eyes. “Someone screamed,”

“Yep I heard it,” Jeff said, rubbing his ear. “It was definitely Kurtie, he’s the only one who can scream that loud,”

“Do you think we should check on him and Seb?” Thad asked. “To see if they need help,”

“I guess,” Nick said and the four of them walked over to Kurt and Sebastian’s door. Jeff knocked on the door.

“Seb? Kurt? Are you two okay?” He asked.

“Jeff, get the fuck in here now,” He heard Sebastian yell and he quickly opened the door and walked in, the other boys following behind him.

“Why did Kurt scream?” Nick asked.

“I don’t fucking know,” Sebastian yelled, getting out of his bed. “He screamed and then he ran in the bathroom and he won’t come out,”

“Well have you considered your choice of words Sebastian?” Trent asked and in return received a pillow thrown at him. “I guess not,”

“He had a goddamn nightmare,” Sebastian said, still cursing but lowering his voice some. “Before he screamed he was mumbling and he said his dad’s name and the name of his bully, Karofsky,”

“Oh the poor thing,” Jeff said, sympathetically. “Is this his first one?”

“I don’t know,” Sebastian groaned. “Why the fuck do people have to mess with him? He’s been through enough,”

“Seb,” Trent said. “I think you should check on him,”

“Right,” Sebastian said, walking over to the bathroom door. “Um… if you guys could like, leave that’d be great. I don’t think he’s going to want an audience right now,”

“Of course,” Thad said. “Tell us if you need anything and take care of him,”

The four boys left the room and Sebastian knocked on the bathroom door. “Kurt, are you okay in there? Can I come in?”

He pressed his ear against the door to hear muffled cries coming from the inside and sighed before opening the door. He found Kurt kneeled down in the corner, hugging himself in a tight ball, crying. The scene was heartbreaking and made Sebastian admittedly rush over to him to give him a hug.

“He was right there,” Kurt said, shaking. “He was right there Seb, he wanted to kill me. He almost killed me,”

“No he didn’t Kurt,” Sebastian said, tears welling up in his own eyes. “He’s not anywhere near here, you’re fine I promise. No one’s going to hurt you,”

“What did I do wrong?” Kurt asked, more to himself than to Sebastian. “Why do they all hate me Seb? They hate me so much.” He said through sobs.

“They don’t matter babe,” Sebastian assured Kurt. “I love you and the rest of the Warblers love you and that’s all that matters right, the people that do love you?”

“I miss them,” Kurt said. “I miss my friends and I miss my dad and I messed everything up,”

“No you didn’t. You didn’t mess anything up babe. You’re perfect. Please stop crying, you’re making me cry,”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt said, looking up at Sebastian and wiping the tear that fell down his face. “I love you,”

“I love you too,” Sebastian said, laughing when Kurt brushed off his tear. “And I always will,”

“Ok,” Kurt said softly, “I don’t want to go back to sleep,”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Sebastian told him “You can lay down with me and we can watch a movie ok? You can pick,”

“Ok,” Kurt said again, standing up with Sebastian and leaving the bathroom. They both got into Kurt’s bed, under the blankets and snuggled close together before Sebastian grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. He flipped through the channels until Kurt settled on a movie that he had never heard of before and they both watched the movie together, neither falling asleep. Once the movie was over Sebastian got an idea and dragged Kurt out of the bed, pulling him over to the window and opening it to reveal a beautiful sunrise.

“Look at that,” Sebastian said, sighing happily to himself as he hugged Kurt from behind. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“Yeah,” Kurt said, smiling. “I love it,”

“And I love you,” Sebastian said, snuggling into Kurt’s neck and kissing him.

“Forever?” Kurt asked.

“Forever,” Sebastian assured.

“I love you too,” Kurt assured him back and they spent the rest of their morning in each other’s embrace watching the sunrise and for a moment Kurt thought he was going to be okay.

But Kurt and everyone else was soon to realize that Kurt was wrong.

It was winter break and everyone in Kurt’s dorm decided to stay at Dalton for the holidays since their families worked during the holiday and they decided that being with each other would be more fun. So they spent their break watching Christmas movies and drinking hot chocolate or singing Christmas carols or playing board games or doing puzzles. Kurt joined in on the movies once in a while but kept to himself for the most part and resorted to writing in a journal.

It wasn’t your typical teenage journal that was actually a diary full of secrets and gossip about one’s life. It was just a notebook full of random words that were written in Kurt's neat handwriting. Kurt’s logic for doing this was that it calmed him, just seeing the word neatly written in pen on a blank sheet of white paper. He could write words about how he felt but for the most part he wrote the things that he liked.

My friends.

Sebastian.

Singing.

Cats.

Clouds.

Coffee.

Watching the sunrise with Seb.

Writing.

Taking walks.

Reading.

Going to my classes.

Flowers.

Grass.

Trees.

Things along those lines. Just things that Kurt loved about his life. He was just trying to focus on the positives rather than the negatives. But sometimes that proved to be really difficult for him and one day was very difficult to deal with.

Sebastian had woken him up early that day to tell him that he was going out to get some things that he needed from the store and told Kurt that he would be back soon. Kurt said okay before falling back asleep and when he woke up his body went into a state of intense panic. Just the sight of the other side of his bed, empty when Sebastian usually laid there and waited for him to wake up threw his whole day off. He tried not to let it bother him too much so he got up and got ready like he usually did before grabbing his blanket and his notebook and walking out into the common room. He was thankful to find the rest of his friends were already awake, continuing their Christmas movie marathon by watching “Elf” and laughing at the movie. They greeted him and he greeted them back before sitting down in an empty chair and trying to pay attention to the screen. It wasn’t working out though. No matter how hard he tried not to think about Sebastian and how he had been gone when he had woken even though he already knew that Sebastian wouldn’t be there, the more he thought about other things.

His dad.

Finn.

Carol.

His family that sent him off to a private school because they didn’t want to deal with him.

Rachel.

Mercedes.

Quinn.

His old friends.

His old friends that hated him now.

Karofsky.

Azimio.

Bullying.

Slushies.

Locker shoves.

Dumpster dives.

Kissing.

Disgusting kissing that tasted awful.

Kissing that made him cry, that made him hate himself.

Kissing that made him feel so disgusting and awful that he wanted to hurt himself.

Fag.

Fairy.

Traitor.

Disappointment.

Waste of space.

Should just kill himself already.

This is what he found himself writing in his notebook and soon there was no trying to think about the positives because the negatives were pushed to the front of his brain and he couldn’t get rid of them. He felt tears come to his eyes and not wanting to cry in front of everyone but then not wanting to be alone, he got up out of his chair and went to sit down on the floor. Behind the couch. Under the table.

Why Kurt picked a table to sit under, he didn’t really know. He just needed a confined area of space that was for him only but he didn’t want to go back into his empty dorm room, he wanted to hear his friend laugh and he wanted to hear the movie so he chose the table. He tried to breathe but it didn’t really work, the air wouldn’t come into his lungs. He silently cried, his pen shaking in his finger and his body wrapped around him as he tried to calm down and tried to think about the positives. But nothing good came. So he tried to shut his mind off. He tried to clear everything out so that he didn’t have to think about anything and closed his eyes shut.

He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there but he was relieved when he heard the door to their room open and heard familiar footsteps walk into the room. He wanted to get out and run into Sebastian’s arms but something inside him told him not to and kept him in place.

“Where’s Kurt?” Sebastian asked, taking off his scarf and coat.

“Under the table,” Wes said casually.

“What?” Sebastian asked confused as he walked over to the table and peered down to see Kurt sitting in a ball covered in a blanket. “Why did you let him sit underneath the table?”

“I don’t know,” Jeff said, still paying attention to the movie. “He seemed like he had his mind set on sitting underneath the table so we let him sit under there. Besides, who are we to tell him what to do? Is it a crime to sit under a table?”

“No,” Sebastian sighed. “I guess it’s not,”

Sebastian reached out to grab Kurt’s hand to pull him out from underneath the table when he noticed the notebook that Kurt had been writing in. Kurt hadn’t really seemed to notice his presence and Sebastian picked up the notebook, reading what Kurt had most recently written.

“Oh Kurt,” He said softly, looking back down to see that Kurt was shaking and that his face was stained with tears. “What happened?”

Kurt only shook his head.

“Come on. Let’s go,” Sebastian said, motioning Kurt to take his hand so he could get up. Kurt took his hand and Sebastian pulled him up before getting an idea. He looked up above his head and smiled, mischievously to himself.

“Look what we’re standing under,” He said in a sing-song voice. “Mistletoe,”

“Kurt looked up and then looked back to Sebastian with a perplexed look, not connecting the two things together. That was until Sebastian dipped him back and kissed him passionately on his lips. Kurt kissed back and they stayed like that until the Warblers turned around and caught them in the position they were in.

“Eww gross,” Trent said, throwing a pillow at Sebastian.

“Get a room Seb,” David groaned, burying his face into another pillow.

“You two are worse than Nick and Jeff,” Wes complained before turning back around to see Nick and Jeff snuggling together, eskimo kissing one another. “Never mind, I take that back,”

“That’s what I thought,” Sebastian smirked before tilting Kurt back up and leading him into their room. “Don’t interrupt us,”

“Trust us, we won’t,” Thad assured him before Sebastian closed the door.

“So are you okay Kurt?” Sebastian asked, turning around to look at his boyfriend. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt whispered, looking down like he was ashamed of himself. “I woke up and you were gone and I know it’s stupid because I knew you weren’t going to be there but it still freaked me out for some reason and I got upset and I didn’t know what to do. I got dressed and I tried to pay attention to the movie that everyone was watching but I kept thinking about you and then I started thinking about everyone else and instead of writing down things that I liked, I started writing the things down that I didn’t like. And then I got really overwhelmed and I couldn’t breathe and so I got up and sat under the table because I didn’t know where else to go but… I’m so sorry Seb. I know that it was stupid of me to get so upset but I don’t know what happened,” Kurt explained, rapidly.

“Hey, take a breather babe,” Sebastian said, walking over to Kurt and rubbing his back. “It sounds like you had a panic attack. But you’re alright now okay?”

“Okay,” Kurt said, hugging Sebastian. “Please don’t leave me right now,”

“I won’t,” Sebastian promised him. “I promise. So do you want to watch the movie with them or…?”

“Can we just stay in here?” Kurt asked.

“Yeah of course,” Sebastian said before walking over to Kurt’s bed and laying down in it with him. They snuggled up with one another like they usually did, wrapped in blankets and in each other’s embrace and this time Sebastian picked a movie.

“I love you Sebastian,” Kurt said, smiling up at his boyfriend. “I love you so much,”

“I love you so much too Kurt,” Sebastian smiled back.

Kurt had resorted to a different method to manage his stress… running. He knew it probably wasn’t the best thing to do seeing how little he ate but then again, was really anything he ever did a good idea? He didn’t think so. So running was his new thing.

He felt free when he ran, like there was nothing holding him back or there was nothing weighing him down. When he ran he didn’t need to focus on all his problems or the things that bothered him, all he focused on was moving his feet in front of the other one and his breathing. He could run for hours if he wanted to and one day he actually did.

It had been a bad day for Kurt. He had had two exams and a project to present in his classes that day and then a Warbler practice after lunch and he felt like he needed to relax. So he went out after dinner and ran. Some of the other Warblers went out with him and watched him as they sat on the bench and talked with one another.

And Kurt ran. He lost track of time but he could tell that it was getting late when he noticed that the sun was setting and he would’ve stopped but he was on a roll. It felt good to him, to push his body through all the pain and sweat. Yes maybe it was a bad idea to run to the point where you’re in pain but it wasn’t like the pain that he felt when he was shoved in a locker. The pain felt good so he didn’t stop.

“What are you guys doing out here?” Sebastian asked Jeff, Nick and Trent as he walked out to the track and saw the guys on the bleachers.

“Kurt’s running,” Nick said, pointing over to where Kurt was on his probably hundredth lap around the track.

“Shit, you idiots,” Sebastian hissed. “How long has he been like that?”

“Like what?” Jeff asked. “He likes running,”

“He looks like he’s going to fall over Jeff,” Sebastian said, irritated.

“Oh. Well we’ve been out here since dinner which was at six,” Trent said, thinking out loud.

“And it’s around eight right now,” Nick added.

“So that means it’s been two hours,” Jeff said happily. “Woo, Kurtie’s really good at that,”

“Oh my god,” Sebastian groaned before jogging over to Kurt. “Hello babe,”

“Hi,” Kurt said, shortly, out of breath. “What are you doing here?”

“The better question is what are you doing here? It’s been two hours since I last saw you and I miss you,” Sebastian said, giving Kurt puppy dog eyes.

“Sorry. I knew it was getting late but you know… it’s just been a stressful day,” Kurt said.

“Oh,” Sebastian said, his face dropping. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I prefer running,”

“For two hours straight. Is that even healthy?”

“No but neither is being stressed out so I take what I get,” Kurt shrugged.

“Well what if we find a better way to get rid of your stress,” Sebastian suggested slyly. “We could make out,”

“Seb,” Kurt whined, although he did smile.

“Please,” Sebastian begged. “You’re so cute and I haven’t seen you all day. I love you,”

“Fine,” Kurt smirked. “But I’m taking a bath first,”

“Okay let’s go,” Sebastian said excitedly, taking Kurt’s hand and dragging him off the track.

They went back to their dorm room and Kurt showered and got ready for bed and then the two boys got into bed and cuddled up with each other. Kurt kissed Sebastian and Sebastian kissed back and they stayed like that for a while before Sebastian pulled Kurt into a hug.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about it?” Sebastian asked him. “I just ask because… I mean you could’ve changed your mind and I want you to know that I’ll listen to you,”

“I’m okay Seb,” Kurt assured him. “I just had a lot of work to do today and I'm not used to having so much. I was always on top of my work at McKinley, I was at the top of my class but here it’s just a little harder. But I got it done so I don’t have to worry anymore. I just wanted to run and I guess I lost myself a little too much,”

“Oh,” Sebastian said, rubbing Kurt’s back. "Well if you ever need help you can always ask me,”

“I know Seb,” Kurt said. “But thank you. For… just everything Seb. It means a lot to me,”

“Well you mean a lot to me,” Sebastian smiled.

“So do you,” Kurt smiled back.

Nick, Jeff, Wes and David were all in the common room doing a puzzle when Sebastian and Kurt walked in, hand and hand and stood facing each other with their foreheads pressed against each other.

“Why don’t you just go lay down and I’ll be in a minute, okay babe?” Sebastian told Kurt who nodded his head and wiped some tears on his face as he walked into their room.

“What’s wrong with Kurt?” David asked curious.

“He’s sick,” Sebastian said, rubbing his eyes. “He’s got a fever,”

“Oh, should I get the nurse?” Jeff asked, standing up.

“No, he’ll be fine I think,” Sebastian told them. “I don’t think he’d like that since he’s not really a people person. I’m just going to lay down with him and maybe he’ll sleep it off,”

“Oh okay,” Jeff said, sitting back down. Well tell me if you need anything,”

“I will,” Sebastian said before walking into their room to find Kurt curled up in a ball on his bed.

“You feeling alright babe?” Sebastian asked, rubbing Kurt’s back.

“I don’t feel good,” Was all Kurt said back.

“I know you don’t, you’re burning up. Do you want anything?” Sebastian asked.

“A hug,” Kurt told him and Sebastian laughed a little.

“I mean like medicine or something Kurt,”

“You don’t want to hug me?” Kurt asked, tears in his eyes.

“What no,” Sebastian exclaimed, laying down admittedly and hugging Kurt. “I always want to hug you Kurt, I love you. I just want to make you feel better,”

“I hate being sick,” Kurt pouted. “It’s not fair, I never get sick,”

“Well you just have to take care of yourself more Kurt. You’re stressing yourself out too much, it’s no wonder you aren’t feeling good right now,”

“I’m sorry,” Kurt whispered. “I really do try, it’s just hard,”

“I know you’re trying,” Sebastian assured him. “And I know it’s been rough for you but you’re doing really good, trust me,”

“I trust you,” Kurt told him. “And I love you too,”

“I love you,” Sebastian said, kissing Kurt’s forehead

#glee #glee fanfiction #kurtbastian #kurt hummel #sebastian smythe #the warblers #gleecharactertot2021

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kurtanaaa · 4 years ago

Note

Hi I love your chatfics please could you give me a list of the new directions’ private stories and who can see them?

YES I CAN AND I CAN ALSO GIVE YOU A KISS ANON I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME THIS

okay this is going under a cut bc i am going to talk A LOT!!!! oh i am so excited jfjdjfjksls

so i’ve made a list of what i thought their private story names were before but that was before i really started writing chatfics regularly so this is a great chance to do it again!!!! lets get into it!! this isn’t gonna include the newbies bc i’m setting this before s4 :/// sorry yall

Brittany: my private story -miss girl doesn’t really like private stories with weird names. they confuse her :/ how is she supposed to know what it is if it’s named something weird like 99.9 virgin radio? that’s just a radio station babe! -everyone in new directions is on her story, along with lord tubbington (she made him a snapchat account), a bunch of vocal adrenaline kids she made friends with by accident, some of the haverbrook kids, a couple warblers (trent. she likes him a lot), and most of the cheerios! lauren zizes and matt are also on it!!! -she has banned all football players except the glee guys from her private story. they don’t get her fun times.

Santana: real lesbian girl shit -she’s a megan thee stallion fan and also gay. not much else to it!!! -again, all the new directions are on it, except occasionally she removes finn just to test his patience. she also has lord tubbington bc she loves her girlfriend. all of the cheerios are on her story and she uses it to make announcements to them sometimes (every time a cheerio leaves the squad she boots them from her story). she does NOT have lauren zizes (still salty over the hallway fight) but she does have matt!!! that’s pretty much it tho she doesn’t like to be too public with her crap

Mercedes: TOTS -bitch loves her tots and she made the story when she and kurt were bitching at each other about them. she won’t change it ever. -EVERYBODY is on cedes' private story bc everyone loves cedes. she’s got lauren, matt, most of the warblers that she met through kurt and blaine, a bunch of haverbrook kids, a good chunk of mckinley that she’s met through classes and such, sunshine corazon, even a couple girls from that all girls acapella group at season two nationals. unique is on her story too!!! she keeps up with everyone!!! -she has ALSO banned most of the football players. it is a point of soreness for the majority of them that they don’t get the privilege of being on her story.

Kurt: i diagnose you with gay -he saw a meme that said this once and laughed his ass off so he had to use it -kurt has a surprising amount of people on his story. he’s got all the warblers who were at dalton when he was, he’s got all the new directions plus lauren and matt, all of the cheerios who were on the squad when he was, a bunch of haverbrook kids, sunshine, a few mckinley students he made friends with, unique for SURE, and even some of the nicer football players. he also has karofsky on his story (bc hes too nice for his own good), sebastian smythe (so he can post pictures of him and blaine and make him jealous) and jesse st. james (so he can bully him directly). for some reason coach sylvester is also on his private story. no one except kurt and sue know why and they’re not revealing their plans to anyone. it is terrifying.

Sam: The Blackbird -he named it after the plane the x-men fly bc he is a Geek Bitch. -anyway sam is ALWAYS posting to his private story. every day there's five new videos of various hudmel shenanigans. he likes to record things just in case he has to leave again and he needs memories of his friends. -since he’s a sweetheart and doesn’t like people to feel left out, he’s got a fair amount of people on his private story. obviously the new directions and lauren (and matt! he met matt through mike and they hit it off), and some students from his old schools. he’s got some warblers, a chunk of the football team, some mckinley students, and lord tubbington. it’s a good time!

Puck: VIP ZONE -this idiot just likes everybody on his private story to know that they are SPECIAL and APPRECIATED if they’re there -he posts the most wack shit on his story bc he’s always getting up to something stupid so he keeps the amount of people on his private story low so he doesn’t get ratted out -so pretty much only the new directions are on it, plus matt and lauren and a couple of the more tolerable football guys. he has jake on his story too!!! (in my glee cinematic universe they met earlier and they’re bros) he also has jeff the warbler on his story for reasons known to no one, not even jeff and puck.

Rachel: 🌟Rachel Berry Exclusive🌟 -do i even need to explain this one. -rachel does NOT understand the concept of a private story. pretty much everybody who has her on snap is on her private story at this point. she does not give a shit she wants everyone to know what she’s up to all the time. this means that practically everyone she’s ever met is on there

Finn: cooler than puck's -this man is always competing against puck a lil i know it. puck thinks its hilarious. -not a lot of people on finn’s story! he’s got the usual suspects plus some football guys, and david warbler and wes warbler. they hang out sometimes!!! he thinks they’re fun dudes. he also has jake on his story bc he’s met him a couple times through puck and he seemed chill. also jesse st. james so finn can make him jealous bc he’s a little shit

Blaine: Sometimes Turnt -his story posts are usually very basic but when this man gets drunk he goes off the RAILS on his story it’s crazy -blaine’s another one whos got pretty much everyone he knows on his private story. all the usual suspects and all the warblers are on there. he doesn’t have jesse, lauren, or matt, but that’s bc he just. doesn’t know them. he’s got a couple people that he made friends with at mckinley on there too!! -cooper is NOT allowed on his private story. he is explicitly banned.

Tina: former goth bitches anonymous -’nuff said. -tina has the BEST stories. everyone wants to be on her private story - except for when she’s having a breakdown and keeps posting screenshots of sad songs on spotify. but the thing is she keeps her private story on LOCKDOWN. she’s got her new directions and lauren and matt, she’s got a couple haverbrook kids, some warblers, a goth guy she met at a hot topic, and sunshine!!! but NO ONE ELSE. everyone else is PROHIBITED. NO FUCKING ENTRY!

Mike: The Fuck -mike didn’t know what to name it :/ so he decided to name it after what he’s thinking every time he posts a video of his friends doing something stupid -everyone loves mike. everyone is on his story. thee whole mf gang. the new directions, lauren, matt, jesse, sunshine, the whole football team, all the cheerios, haverbrook kids, warblers, vocal adrenaline dancers, the works. he doesn’t know how they all wound up there considering he hardly ever posts, but he just keeps making friends with people and they’re like "hey you’re very sexy and hot. want to be on my private story" and of course he has to return the favour!!!

Artie: Artie's Priv -short and simple! -everything he posts is edited RIDICULOUSLY. like with stickers and filters and video edits, the works. everything. -he doesn’t have a lot of people on his private story mostly because he usually uses his public one, so he just doesn’t think to add people to his private story. but he’s got the new directions, he’s got lauren and matt, he’s got a few other mckinley students, and... that’s pretty much it. he just doesn’t think about it!

Quinn: Don't let my Catholic guilt see this -this one. i haven’t gotten to use it in a fic yet. but i will. its also fairly self explanatory -quinn is another gal who keeps this shit shut DOWN. almost nobody gets in bc a lot of her stories are just her RANTING about feminism or her life or SOMETHING that's pissing her off that she needs to vent about -she’s got the new directions, she’s got lauren and matt, she’s got some cheerios, and that is IT. nobody else gets to see this shit.

THIS WAS SO FUCKING FUN TO WRITE OUT OH MY GOD I AM SO PLEASED!!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ME THIS I HAVE NOT FELT THIS MUCH EUPHORIA IN A LONG TIME!!!!!

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thequeensfan1117 · 4 years ago

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I Get By...

Written for @kbweek2020 (Day 1: Fix-It) [It’s more like pre-Kurtbastian, but still.]

Summary: As practice for the dream proposal goes underway, Sebastian has a sudden change of heart.

Sebastian rolled his eyes as four show choirs had gathered in the Dalton rotunda to go over choreography and rose petal placement.

Why had he agreed to this stupid plot again?

No, really. Why were the Warblers helping Blaine and his sidekick—who had gotten them disqualified from this year's competition without so much as an apology—with his plot to propose to the Ice Queen? Why did Trent and Niff sweep their last chance to compete before graduation under the rug like that? More importantly, why had Sebastian done so? His crush had long faded away.

He didn’t understand any of it, and it grated the more he thought about it.

He needed to stop dancing. The irritation was throwing off his footsteps, and it would piss off most everyone else. So that was what he did. In full view of the Hobbit, no less, because he now gave zero shits about the whole thing.

“Sebastian!” Blaine hissed. “Get back in your place.”

“Come on, what if he’s tired?” a pretty brunette girl replied. “We’ve been at it since this morning.”

Nope. Blaine whipped his head to face her.

“This has to be perfect, Marley,” he said. “Kurt deserves that.”

Marley sighed and moved away from her place near the staircase. She opened her mouth to respond, but a blonde cheerleader rolled her eyes and put in her two cents.

“Uh, did he deserve you running off with someone else after two weeks apart, too?”

Wait, what?

Hadn’t Blaine dumped him for greener pastures, or something? That was what he’d told Trent at least. Then again, Sebastian had heard it thirdhand from Nick, so he could have been completely wrong.

“That’s not the point!” Blaine continued. “The point is, you and the Warblers agreed to lend us Dalton for the day and join in a special performance for Kurt. You can’t just walk off and do what you want now!”

“Can. Will,” Sebastian replied. “You’re not my dad, Blaine.”

And with that, he made up his mind.

Fuck Blaine.

Walking out of the rotunda was immediately satisfying. He wondered why he hadn’t done it before. But now was not the time to relax.

It was time to act. A plan had formed in his head the day after the Warblers had agreed to help Blaine and friend. It was time to enact it. The baby had instructed that none of the Dalton boys bring their cells with them, and luckily for Sebastian, Nick had been forced to room with him this school year. It was perfect.

Kurt’s number apparently hadn’t changed since he went back to McKinley. Sebastian copied each digit into his own phone carefully before making sure that Nick’s cell was in the exact spot he’d left it. After that, it was just a matter of sending the text.

Congrats on your engagement, Princess.

-S. Smythe

His phone went off twice soon after, but studying was a much better use of his time than having an actual conversation with Hummel, so he ignored it. French was simple enough to tackle, but Calculus was a much more difficult pill to swallow even when there wasn’t an exam coming up.

“Sebastian, there you are!”

He groaned and turned his attention to the door. Nick and Jeff stood in the doorway.

“Blaine wanted us to bring you back,” Jeff explained.

“I’m not going,” he said. “We have that Calc exam coming up, remember?”

Nick shrugged.

“Well, we’re not gonna force you,” he said. “But he wanted to stress that this goes down tomorrow, and it all has to be perfect so Kurt will say yes.”

Jeff snorted. “Do you really think he will? They just got back together two days ago!”

Nick shook his head.

“I doubt it.”

While Niff started talking amongst themselves, Sebastian merely sat and listened. The more he did, the more he thought that he’d made the right choice.

His one regret was that he wouldn’t be there for the fallout.

#kurtbastian fic #kurtbastian #free kurt

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gleeincorrectquotes · 4 years ago

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GUYS ITS TRENT THE WARBLER HES AT MCKINLEY

#glee #not incorrect quotes #liveblogging #1x22 #genuinely freaking iur #*out

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ao3feed-puckurt · 1 year ago

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Total Multiverse endgame OTP

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/a3gq2hY

by Lennief

Everyone had seen that Blaine had been crying again. All the New Directions, and The Warblers are worried about him. He always seems to be crying, about to start crying or just finished crying since the break up.

No one wants to see the ex-Warbler like this. It makes them half scared for how Kurt was handing everything all alone in New York, especially at Thanksgiving.

But the word has gotten around the green room, thanks to Sam, that they are semi happy tears. Kurt has called Blaine, they talked and they are gonna try to work things out. Everyone is buzzing that Klaine might be back on. It's almost a Thanksgiving miracle

Well almost everyone….

Klaine wasn't the only powerhouse couple to meet at Dalton Academy.

Jeff and Him were just in love and they didn't make each other cry like Blaine and Kurt did, well most of the time it was Blaine fault, thought Nick. Nick Duval is fed up of their friends and the world not noticing that if there is OTP, a couple that was truly endgame then it was NIFF.

This takes place backstage at 2012 Western Ohio Show Choir Sectionals, The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion, William McKinley High School

Words: 1208, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Glee

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Nick the Warbler (Glee), Jeff (Glee), Blaine Anderson, Kurt Hummel, Sebastian Smythe, Santana Lopez, Brittany S. Pierce, Tina Cohen-Chang, Artie Abrams, Sam Evans (Glee), Trent (Glee), Thad (Glee), Marley Rose, The Warblers (Glee), New Directions (Glee), David Karofsky

Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe, Blaine Anderson/David Karofsky, Jeff/Nick the Warbler (Glee), Jeff & Nick the Warbler (Glee), New Directions/The Warblers (Glee)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Canon Fix-It, Alternate Universe, Glee Season/Series 04, Fluff, Romance

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/a3gq2hY

#fanfic #kurtbastian #glee

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klaineccfanficlibrary · 5 years ago

Note

Is there a fic where it’s Blaine spying on the new directions to scope the competition?

I included one where Blaine is in the New Directions, and goes to spy on the Warblers and meets lead soloist Kurt. - HKVoyage

What Spying Can Lead To by kurtswish

AU Starts during Never Been Kissed Blaine Anderson is sent to McKinley to spy on their Glee Club. What will this mission lead to and who will he meet there. Each Chapter will follow a different episode of season 2. Also contains FURT Friendship

~~~~~

Laugh Until Our Ribs Get Tough by thedeadparrot

Really, he should have let someone else -- maybe Thad or Trent -- do the spying on New Directions. In general, it's a terrible idea to go along with any of Sebastian's suggestions, even if the other Warblers tend to disagree. - for the trope_bingo prompt 'role reversal'

~~~~~

Whisper Words of Wisdom by warblingaway (fallingthorns)

Blaine Anderson is being bullied at McKinley, living his life one day at a time. With few friends and a father who resents him, Blaine is simply going through the motions of living. When he goes to spy on the Dalton Academy Warblers, he meets the friendly, beautiful lead soloist Kurt Hummel, who helps Blaine in more ways than he ever could have imagined.

#klaine #klaine fanfic #klaine fanfiction #fic finder #anonymous #Season 2 AU #Dalton!Blaine #Dalton!Kurt #New Directions

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mollyellee · 5 years ago

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beneficial {seblaine week sneak peek}

Hi everyone! I can’t WAIT for Seblaine Week this year. I’ve actually been working on my longest fic yet, and it’s going to fulfill both the College and the Friends With Benefits prompts (and probably Free Day, tbh). It’s ~27,000 words and basically done except for final edits, and I’m too anxious to wait any longer to share, so I figured I would post a little sneak peek to get everyone excited!

More details to come when the full fic is posted, but it’s a NYADA AU where most of our McKinley friends are in attendance and living in the same apartment building. Blaine was never a Warbler, he attended all 4 years of high school at McKinley and dated Kurt the whole time, but they broke up Senior Year. He and Sebastian are friends, but very casually. Blaine and Santana live together and get along famously (I have a thing for this friendship apparently). And The Nest is the Warblers’ apartment, where Nick, Jeff and Sebastian live; the rest you’ll just have to wait to find out! See you on July 12!

When Saturday night comes around, everyone starts pouring into The Nest: Rachel and Kurt are begging Nick, the de facto DJ, to play at least one show tune (he refuses), Mercedes is belting out a song on the cheap karaoke machine and Sam and Blaine are playing beer pong.

Well, Sam is playing; Blaine is getting his ass kicked.

He’s downing what feels like his thousandth beer of the night when he feels someone give him a small hip bump. He shows Sam the empty cup and looks up to see Sebastian standing at his side.

“Not to insult you, but you know you absolutely suck at this, right?”

Blaine laughs a little too loudly, “I’m sorry, but which part of that wasn’t supposed to be insulting?”

Sebastian always has a quick response. “That you’re smart enough to know it. Plus, if memory serves, you weren’t always this bad.”

A memory flashes through Blaine’s mind, one he had almost forgotten.

This isn’t something he and Kurt would ever normally do, but he and Kurt aren’t exactly normal these days. Santana had come into Glee Club earlier in the week, saying that the Warblers were throwing a party at one of their member’s houses this weekend and they should all go in the spirit of healthy competition.

And if she could get drunk and make out with one of the girls from the other schools, so she wouldn’t have to have that awkward “what are we” conversation the next day, well, that was a pretty nice bonus too.

“This will be fun, right?” Kurt is speaking just to interrupt the silence as Blaine drives, and Blaine smiles politely.

“Yeah, it’ll be good to get to know some of the Warblers a little better.”

“Well, you’re already friends with a couple of them, aren’t you?” The question isn’t meant to sound accusatory, but Blaine can’t help but wonder if Kurt is trying to figure out if something is going on behind his back.

It’s not. Blaine is too heartbroken about what’s happened with his first love to even think about being with anyone else.

“Not really,” Blaine says quietly, and that effectively ends the conversation. They’ve been fighting a lot lately, and neither of them want to say anything that will push the other too far. When they arrive at Nick’s house, the party is already in full swing and Blaine hears Rachel shout “Kurt!” almost as soon as they walk in the door. Kurt gives him a half smile and goes to join her and Mercedes. Blaine hates that his boyfriend leaving his side relieves some of the tension, but it does, and he instantly spots Sam over by the kitchen counter, mixing drinks and laughing with some of the Warblers.

“Hey, what’s up bro? Want a drink?”

“Please!” Blaine knows Kurt hates it when he drinks too much, but Kurt is already out of sight and he needs something to calm him down. Sam pours him a fruity concoction that barely tastes like alcohol and has the capacity to be very dangerous. He takes a sip and gives Sam a thumbs up signaling his approval when a figure jogs up beside him.

“All right listen up, I’m putting together a team to destroy Trent and Jeff, who’s in?”

Blaine turns to his left and there is Sebastian Smythe, another Warbler he has met in person only briefly, but they did exchange numbers at that meeting. So, if they’ve texted a little since then, it’s harmless, right? He’s felt lonely lately, he’s just looking for a friend.

It’s just a coincidence that Sebastian also happens to be incredibly good looking.

“Anderson, looks like you’ve got a fresh drink. Care to join me?”

“What am I agreeing to?”

“Smart question to ask,” Nick says with a laugh and Sebastian gives him the finger before explaining, “Beer pong. But we play with water, so you can bring your shockingly red drink too.”

“It’s party punch!” Sam yells as Sebastian leads Blaine away from the kitchen island to a table set up outside in the backyard. He doesn’t notice Sebastian’s hand on his lower back until it’s gone, but when it’s no longer there, the feeling lingers.

Sebastian reaches for his drink on the table and Blaine notices the cups have already been arranged. He’s seen enough movies, he knows what beer pong looks like, but he’s never actually played. Hell, he’s never really even been to a party except that one night at Rachel’s, but they don’t talk about that.

“Okay, you’re gonna think I’m totally lame, but I have absolutely no clue how to play,” Blaine admits, but Sebastian just smiles, and god, this punch must be strong because his stomach is doing somersaults.

“It’s okay, Trent knows how to play and he sucks ass at it, so you’ll be fine.”

Trent scoffs from the other side of the table and Blaine laughs, relieved, as Sebastian explains the rules to him.

And then the game begins, and he is shockingly good. Almost every ball he throws goes in and Sebastian cheers every time he makes a shot, which feels warm in his chest for some inexplicable reason. And then he realizes, he’s happy to be appreciated.

“You undersold yourself, Anderson. Sure you’re not hustling us?”

“Well, it would be pretty pointless to hustle my own teammate, wouldn’t it?” Blaine takes the last sip of his drink, batting his eyelashes just a little, and is he...flirting?

Sadly, (or thankfully?), he doesn’t get to find out the answer as he’s brought out of his trance by someone shouting “Blaine!” He turns his head and there is Kurt, walking toward him, clearly irritated. Fuck, had he seen him flirting with Sebastian?

He starts, “Kurt, it was nothing, we were just…” but Kurt is already on his own train of thought.

“Can we go? Rachel has had way too much of whatever that party punch is, and she’s making a big scene with Santana, and I’m just over it.”

“I…” He looks back to Sebastian who is standing at the table with his hands up in a “don’t get me involved” gesture and sighs, turning back to his boyfriend.

Guess the clock has struck midnight.

“Okay, sure.” Kurt looks relieved and is already heading for the door. Blaine smiles politely, “It was a pleasure being your partner, Sebastian.”

“Hey, maybe we can do it again sometime,” the Warbler says with a smirk, and all Blaine wants to do is stay.

But all he can do right now is go.

“So then I guess I should be smart enough to ask you to be my partner...again?” Blaine smiles and throws the ball back.

And for what feels like the first time all night, it goes in.

“Definitely,” Sebastian grins, “Evans! Grab a partner, Anderson’s called in the cavalry.”

“Brittany!” Sam calls and the girl peeks her head out from the kitchen where she and Santana have been adding more vodka to the jungle juice. He motions her over and she nods, rushing over, drink in hand. She points across the table, “Wait, is this our competition?”

Blaine feigns like he’s just been shot in the chest, and Sebastian stands up straighter, motioning between himself and Blaine. “Listen, this team may have been lacking in talent before, but I’m on board now. Let’s rack 'em up.”

“You can’t talk this way about your own teammate!” Blaine playfully slaps Sebastian on the arm and Sebastian leans over to murmur conspiratorially, “All part of the strategy” and his breath feels warm in their close proximity. Blaine thinks he’s clearly had too much to drink, but hey, he only lives down the hall.

Sam and Sebastian set up the cups, and the game begins. Sebastian must be a good luck charm because every ball Blaine sends flying is managing to hit its intended target. At one point, they’re doing so well that Blaine whispers something in Sebastian’s ear which causes both Brittany and Sam to quirk an eyebrow. The next time Blaine makes a shot, he and Sebastian perform an elaborate handshake and Sam’s mouth falls open in shock. He certainly did not expect his and Blaine’s secret handshake from when they ran for Student Council to be used against him.

“Dude, not cool!”

“All part of the strategy,” Blaine says with a shrug and a smirk, and Sam turns to Brittany and says, “Okay, handshake meeting after this game.”

They all laugh and finish the game, which Blaine and Sebastian win easily, and that’s when Blaine realizes that most everybody has already taken off. Nick and Jeff are on the couch playing video games and Santana is sitting on a barstool next to their game, chatting with Brittany, but everyone else seems to have left while they were wrapped up in their tournament. Even Sam looks around and finds himself dateless.

“Damn, lost the game and lost my girl too,” he says with (mostly) fake resignation and Blaine laughs from the other side of the table. Santana hums and clarifies, “Nah, she just said she’d rather go to sleep than continue to watch you get humiliated.”

“See, aren’t you glad you don’t have someone to talk about you like that?” Sebastian murmurs low to Blaine, but clearly not low enough as he’s soon on the receiving end of a glare from Sam. Sebastian shrugs unapologetically in response.

Santana hops off her stool and holds out her hand to Blaine, “Come on, Anderson, I need my beauty rest.”

“Psst lies,” he responds dramatically, and they both giggle, and okay, he’s definitely had too many. He turns back to Sebastian and smiles, “Thanks for being a great partner.”

Sebastian smirks back and Blaine definitely doesn’t feel his insides melting at his response. “Maybe we can do it again sometime.”

He and Santana leave and walk the short distance to their apartment, arms around each other’s waists. She reaches over and boops his nose. “Well, you are very good at that game, aren’t you?”

“Shut up, you’re drunk,” he responds, but can’t manage to wipe the smile off of his face.

#seblaine #blaine anderson #sebastian smythe #seblaine fic #seblaine week #seblaine week sneak peek #author: mollywritesseblaine

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twoblueheartslocked · 4 years ago

Text

Seblaine Para- Present Day (NYE1)

Para: Hold On To The Memories, They Will Hold On To You

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Seblaine.

Sebastian: @colorsicantsee

Blaine: @twoblueheartslocked

Time: New Year’s Eve- Present Day. (1)

Location: Manhattan, New York

Info: A former Dalton Academy Warbler throws a New Year’s party for any former Warblers that can make it to NYC. Sebastian and Blaine haven’t seen each other in almost four years. They haven’t spoken for over two years. Both of them are changed and damaged in different ways. Feelings pushed down by time that never went away flare up in the worst way.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, mentions of drug use, death, smoking, drinking, cursing.

Extra Warnings: (This RP is not Kurt Hummel friendly. You’ve all been warned.)

Notes: Under a cut because of length.

Blaine’s POV:

Breathe in and back out again, Blaine. Count to ten. You’ve got this. Most of these people here have your best interest in mind. You don’t need to worry. Everything is going to be alright. You can get through this night in one piece and you’ll be back home, in Brooklyn, in your cramped, shitty apartment, in your cramped, shitty bed, in your closet of a bedroom before you know it.

Blaine’s inner monologue, something his therapist thought him to do, did very little to quell the nerves and rampant anxiety that seemed to be chewing through the pit of his stomach as he made his way into the crowded New Years party. Former Warblers- from ages 18 to who knows, graced the walls of the rooftop Manhattan apartment that some Warbler, whose name kept escaping him, owned. For the third time since he tousled his loose curls with product that night he wondered what the hell he was doing here. He’d only been at Dalton for two years before he made the stupid, yet admittedly valuable, jump to McKinley High. He felt like a fraud among the alumni that had spent all four years within it’s halls. Still, he’d told Sam that he would try and with a promise from David and Nick to not abandon him, he managed to follow through.

He just hoped and prayed to a god he wasn’t sure existed that Kurt didn’t decide he wasn’t too good to call himself a Warbler and show up. His stomach gave a painful lurch at the recurring worry and the back of his neck throbbed, a phantom of clenched fingers squeezing too tight to make a point. And it was so intense that Blaine could swear Kurt was there, right behind him. He ducked his head, shame washing through him as his eyes darted around the room, wide and on full alert. Why hadn’t he worn a scarf? He’d been promised by David, who was promised by the host, that Kurt had turned down the invite, but he couldn’t shake the fingers and the ringing sound of disappointment in his ears that always sounded a lot like his ex-boyfriend’s voice.

He wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of attention he’d get as he was spotted by the first of his class of Warblers. Trent, and Wes were clapping him on the back, and pulling him into hugs. Jeff throwing an arm over his shoulders and shouting over the thump of bass- something about him being the man, the myth, the legend himself. Causing Blaine to tense up at the sudden contact, his cheeks flaring up red and hot at the words. He forced himself to smile, and give a gentle laugh to shake off the attention. Most of these people hadn’t seen him since high school. They didn’t really even know him anymore at all. Few did. These guys- they still thought of him as Blaine Warbler, the face of Dalton- with his easy smiles for everyone, and charisma and charm. If his old friends noticed his unusual quiet they didn’t address it. Blaine was glad for it. He didn’t think he could handle a look of pity for his losses or any of his plights.

He let himself be handed a clear plastic cup, someone must have remembered that he liked whisky, probably David, and he took a cautious sip. He didn’t need to get drunk and uninhibited around people he hardly knew anymore. Someone offered to take his short black pea coat from him and he politely declined, pulling the fabric around him like a shield. He felt a little like his teenage self, putting too much gel in his hair as if it would protect him and all at once he cursed himself for not giving up his coat. He made himself take another drink, hoping he could loosen up just a bit.

Twenty minutes in and he had managed to truly laugh at a few memories his old friends brought up. He even managed to talk about a few without second guessing himself. A little of his old confidence rising to the surface. He hadn’t even noticed that David had left his side until his friend gently tugged on his sleeve, his handsome, dark features looking stressed. Blaine’s body instantly froze, his eyes wide as he mouthed Kurt? to his second closest friend. But, David shook his head and sighed regretfully before he pointed to the balcony and time seemed to stop for Blaine because he wasn’t supposed to be here either.

There, on the balcony, framed by a snowy New York City skyline in a halo of cigarette smoke, looking bored even though Blaine couldn’t see his face, as he was facing the city, stood Sebastian Smythe. Clothed in a thigh length black pea coat, the grey hood of a hoodie peeking out over the collar, his long legs holding up a thin frame, too thin, actually. Did the man ever eat? As if Blaine were one to talk… And suddenly, just like that, seeing his absolute asshole of an ex didn’t seem as bad as this. Nor would it feel as bad. And for a second Blaine couldn’t breathe properly. And his heart throbbed at the sight of him and all at once he truly wished it was Kurt instead. He’d take feeling small and useless over the pain of regret and heartbreak any day.

Suddenly he was newly seventeen again and both of his parents were still alive and he was happy as his fingers laced with a uncharacteristically shy Sebastian’s. And Seb’s trademark smirk was gone and replaced with an imperfectly perfect toothy, wide smile that made his impossible green eyes crinkle in delight. And that smile was new to Seb and seemed made up just for Blaine for a little while and Blaine was giddy and free in a way he couldn’t remember ever feeling before. They fit together in a way that Blaine had never felt and would never feel again and Blaine’s heart had ached to just stay with him… and-

A slight shake from David brought him back to present time and Blaine dragged his eyes from the balcony to look into David’s deep brown gaze. David assured him that Sebastian hadn’t seen him yet and that they could just leave, but how could Blaine do that? It had been so long… He licked his lips and took a long pull on his drink, draining the rest in one go. He handed the cup to his friend and assured him that he’d be fine. He’d regret it if he didn’t say hello. Right? He stood up, feeling the heat of whisky course through him as he made his way through the crowd and to the open balcony door. He pulled his gloves on before pushing outside, liquid courage making him feel brave for a moment. He hadn’t noticed at first, but Hunter Clarington was out here too, looking like some sort of guard dog with raised hackles protecting his friend and Blaine almost turned back because what must Hunter think of him? Would he stop him before he even had the chance to speak? He braved it and gave Hunter a nod and a twitch of his lips that was meant to be a smile.

With each step towards Sebastian his heart pounded as if it were in danger. Boom, boom, boom... When his voice came out, he hardly recognized it as his own and when Sebastian turned to face him his booming heart ached all over again because god dammit he was still so beautiful.

“Hey, Seb.” It was soft and unsure and he prayed to see his smile, but knew he’d get the same old, I don’t care about anything, smirk.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian didn’t care about this stupid Warbler party. He couldn't care less about pretending and parading around talking about majors and future plans and cramped dorm rooms and sketchy roommates. He hardly checked his Facebook let alone keep up with fucking Trent or some other random wasp from BFE Ohio. Sebastian didn’t even really know if he considered himself a Warbler anymore. Of course, Hunter insisted that he was. It was Seb, after all, who helped him climb out of his Steroid problem and who was dance captain for his short time at the school. He didn’t really have any friends from Dalton, just Hunter and Seb couldn’t decide half of the time if that was out of “bro code” or “owing him one”. He had run away to Paris after his heart was broken by every good Dalton boy’s favorite guy and he never went back. Sebastian’s heart wasn’t in Westerville, it wasn’t in Paris, either. Sebastian would know, he had spent countless nights chasing gold in the blue and brown eyes of Parisian men. His heart wasn’t even in his own body that he filled with expensive alcohol and nicotine, that he gave away to random boys under the flash of blue and pink lights, in graffitied bathroom stalls, in the back of expensive cars, in rooms where wives were gone for the weekend.

Hunter had begged, and Sebastian hated it when he begged. “C’mon,dude. Don’t make me go alone. Everyone will ask about you.” “Man up and go. Don’t be a dick.” “Bas, please go.” Sebastian kept insisting in texts and phone calls that he found the party to be a waste of time even though he and his friend both knew he was afraid of seeing a certain somebody there. “What’s the point? It’s a party for people who had their peak in high school. How pitiful.” Hunter ignored him and told him that Blaine probably wouldn’t show up. Suddenly it was the evening of the party and Sebastian was being shoved into an Uber by Hunter who was visiting from Cambridge for the weekend. He chainsmoked the entire way to the party much to the chagrin of their disgruntled driver. Sebastian kept his eyes locked on the rear view mirror to make distinct eye contact with the grumpy man driving, he’d take a long drag anytime their eyes met and the man would huff. Hunter left a big tip, Sebastian winked on the way out with a dry laugh. “That was probably the most fun I’m going to have tonight.”

He walked into the party, the apartment was nice enough and lit with white Christmas lights strung everywhere. There was generic pop music throbbing through the walls and plenty to drink, nothing too crazy expensive but nothing cheap that would cause a terrible hangover the next morning. There were more than just former Warblers, there were some girls and some random guys. Maybe Sebastian could score tonight and leave early, lock Hunter out of his apartment that he did not remember inviting him to stay in.

Seb poured himself a shot of vodka and tossed it back before Jeff made eye contact with him and tried pulling him into a hug. He held his hands out and simply deadpanned a “No way.” before he turned to pour himself another shot as the blonde prattled on about whatever Ivy League he was attending. Sebastian nodded towards the balcony, Hunter followed and Jeff got the hint. Hunter started to reprimand Sebastian about how he could at least try to be nice but all he could focus on was the light snow that began to swirl in the air and the itch in the back of his throat for another cigarette. He waved his hand dismissively and lit another one, tilted his head back and exhaled into the dark sky.

Seb flicked his cigarette into the New York night. Maybe the ashes would settle among the stars. He tried to focus on that thought rather than listen to the familiar voice he had heard slip through the crack in the balcony door. He knew the minute he turned around, he was going to be Blaine’s fool all over again. Sebastian became aware of everything at once. He could feel Hunter shift his weight, he must have seen him through the windows. He could hear the conversation get louder over the excitement of Blaine being there, could feel the air trying to escape from his lungs, the butterflies fight against his rib-cage, his heart pound in his fucking ears. He swallowed a thick gulp that he hoped the other man didn’t see and took a shaky drag as he stared at the snow gathering on the buildings around them. Blaine loves this shit, he thought to himself. Sebastian hated the cold but he would stand in a blizzard if it meant listening to Blaine wax poetic about snow globes and winter magic. He’d never say any of that out loud, he’d rather throw himself off of the balcony into the busy streets of the city.

Sebastian bit his bottom lip and closed his eyes for a moment when he heard the door creak, the sounds of the party drift on the cold winter air. He needed to suck it up and turn around. He could do this. Sebastian spun around, his green eyes on Blaine’s giant golden ones immediately as if by some magnetic force. He took a slow, deliberate drag of his cigarette, prayed that nobody could hear the rapid thud of his give away heart in his chest. Sebastian noticed David’s tall figure behind him, felt Hunter’s nerves and heard him mutter “fuck…” under his breath. He flicked his cigarette, “Relax, David. I won’t hurt him.” Sebastian smirked, couldn’t look away from Blaine. He looked...well obviously he looked wonderful, he always did. Snowflakes were starting to collect in his black curls and his cheeks were red from the bitter winter air.

Sebastian hoped his voice sounded even and cool, hoped his chill ‘I don’t give a fuck’ demeanor that he worked way too hard on was evident, even though he felt like he was sixteen and stuck in the midst of a raging crush all over again.

“Hey Killer. Long time no see.”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s brain buzzed at the use of his old nickname. The one that had gotten him in trouble with Kurt, the first time they were together, every single time it was used by Sebastian. Blaine had always secretly liked it, liked that it was his and no one else called him that. He’d never tell Seb, even as they had gotten closer, he always rolled his eyes and shook his head as if it miffed him when in reality it sent the butterflies fluttering around his belly. It was almost as nice as when Seb would eventually whisper B... into his ear when he’d let Blaine kiss his neck… Best not go there, Anderson. That was years ago. So, he rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Not that same old tune again.” He tried to make it sound playful, but really it just made him ache more. He turned and looked over his shoulder at David, giving him a small smile. “It’s okay- I’m okay.” He wondered if David knew he was lying. He nodded as if that would forced the point. David sighed and stepped back into the party, but Blaine could still see the outline of his body close to the door. He was thankful.

There was a snowflake clinging to Seb’s cheek like a lifeline, no wait, it was ash from the careless flick of Seb’s cigarette and Blaine wanted nothing more than to take his glove off, reach out and swipe it away with his thumb. Once upon a time Blaine had been on to him about this bad habit, and how dangerous it was, but couldn’t deny it’s attractiveness… This was absolute insanity. Blaine had only had Sebastian for a short time, but that was all it took to completely ruin him. Perhaps he ruined himself in the process, it was his fault they cracked in the first place. Right? His heart gave a painful thump as he let himself think back to their months spent getting to know each other, the real person behind their facades. He remembered his first taste of Seb’s mouth against his and how he thought, in that moment, that he’d be happy just kissing him for the rest of his life, but then their one perfect, intimate night together proved him wrong. He’d just wanted to touch him forever.

And for a moment, lost in his thoughts, Blaine almost smiled at the memories. That was until he remembered what came after, the news that ripped his happiness apart and left him gutted, the loss that rendered Blaine useless to himself and everyone else. The loss was his downfall in more ways than one and the reason Blaine allowed himself to go back to Kurt and the reason he was skittish now, the reason he hadn’t kissed anyone in nine months, the reason he was stuck in this shell of himself in the first place. Phantom fingers squeezed the back of his neck again and he swallowed hard, hoping it wasn’t noticed. Breathe in, breathe out. Count to ten. You’ve got this, Blaine. He shoved his hands into his pockets, hoping they’d think he was shaking from the cold.

He cleared his throat, forcing himself out of his memories, memories that did nothing but hurt him like they no doubt hurt Sebastian, even though the other man seemed to be doing fine on the outside, Blaine remembered the stricken, pained look and the welling of tears in too bright green eyes. Blaine knew you couldn’t fake that. He took another deep breath, and made himself smile up at the taller man, it was small and meek, but it was a smile nonetheless. He couldn’t bring himself to look Sebastian in the eye, so he instead focused on the little fleck of ash on his cold flushed cheek and tried not to think about how Sebastian was more breathtaking than the snowy city skyline he adored so much.

“I’m surprised you came, it’s not really your scene, is it?’ He forced a laugh, noting how Hunter was flicking looks between the two of them and over his shoulder where David was still no doubt lurking. “I didn’t even know you were in New York.” A lie- and it just rolled off of his tongue as if to prove something. But of course Blaine knew Seb was here, had been for maybe two years. “Are you going to school here, or just visiting?” The small talk would be the death of him. He’d give anything to just be in his shitty, yet cozy apartment where he wasn’t on display and where he could at least try to pretend he wasn’t miserable with a Netflix and donuts distraction. Midnight felt years away.

Sebastian’s POV:

“Well, you’ve always had an effect on me, B. You have me feeling a little nostalgic.” Sebastian took another long drag and blew the smoke out of the side of his mouth, one arm folded across his chest to clutch at his arm, cigarette at his side. He heard Hunter scoff and could see the shake of his head as if to say ‘you never give anything a rest, do you?’ How could he give anything a rest when his biggest regret was standing in front of him with nervous tension in the crease of his forehead?

Sebastian finished his cigarette and dropped it to the ground, stomped the flame out with the tip of his boot. It would be a little gift for the random Warbler who owned the apartment. He shoved his hands into his pockets and nodded as Blaine spoke. Sebastian noticed that he wasn’t making eye contact, which was strange for him. Blaine was charismatic and talkative and charming, he could sell paper to a tree. The warm light that normally seemed to follow the other man everywhere he went seemed dimmed, his smile didn’t reach those perfect eyes. Sebastian knew hurt, he knew quiet pain and it was written all over Blaine.

Hunter mumbled that he was going to grab them some drinks and left the balcony to just the two of them. Seb could hear New Years party goers yelling in the streets, could what laughter and dull music and car horns. It would be midnight soon and he wished he was lost in a crowded bar right about now rather than faking small talk with somebody he used to adore. Sebastian hated small talk and he hated faking how he really felt and here he was, failing at both.

“Okay, small talk. Here we go. Yeah, it’s not my scene. Hunter begged me to come. I’ve lived here for a couple years. I go to Columbia. How about you, Blaine? Living your wildest dreams? Married yet? Starring on Broadway? Breaking hearts? What’s new?” He cleared his throat and forced a smirk. He knew he sounded abrasive. Sebastian shoved his hands in his coat pockets and rocked back on his heels, ducking his head to try and get the other man to look at him, to really look at him. “See something you like?” He couldn’t wait for Hunter to come back with a drink to distract his hands and quiet his mind for a brief moment.

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine let out a mirthless laugh, it sounded small and timid in his ears and he cursed himself for sounding that way. He opened his mouth to reply, to say something that could match Sebastian, to keep up with him the way he used to be able to, but nothing came out. He just nodded, his shoulder coming up in a shrug as if he’d forgotten how to use his mouth. This was hell for him. This tension, this emotion that was threatening to take hold of him. Why the hell had he come out here? To say hi? What kind of bullshit was that? Did he think that it would prove something to himself? That he could do it without falling apart? There was a reason he hadn’t spoken to Sebastian in over two years. There was a reason Sebastian’s stance was defensive right now. There was a reason Blaine was internally falling apart all over again, after he’d done such a bang up job putting himself back together. He should have just left. It would have been better for him than this...whatever this was.

He watched as Hunter left the balcony, leaving him and Sebastian, miraculously, all alone. Seriously, why wasn’t this spot running wild with party goers? Midnight wasn’t even twenty minutes away and the people of New York would usually kill for this spot. Up high in the grey black skyline of NYC, he could even hear the faint sounds of Taylor Swift singing in Times Square in the silence that lay between him and Sebastian. Perfect melancholy soundtrack for this kind of night he guessed. He opened his mouth to try again, to maybe fill the silence but Sebastian beat him to it seeming annoyed and irritated that Blaine had asked anything at all. The use of his name caused him to tense for a split second and wonder what he’d said to warrant that when he remembered this was Sebastian. Sebastian’s default was usually annoyance. Or seduction.

He tried to make himself relax, and found that his first thought was to wonder how insensitive Sebastian could be to joke about Broadway and marriage, but he had to remind himself that Sebastian had only been around for the first part of his battle. He only knew half of what had happened to him. He didn’t know that he’d lost the music inside of him or that he felt every single day like an impostor in his own life and that love apparently was not for him. He took another deep breath and tried not to notice how Sebastian’s head dipped down for him, ducking so that he could see him. Or so that he could make Blaine see. It was familiar and a call back to younger years and it made Blaine’s heart flip. Yeah, Seb, I do. I see you. But, he didn’t say that because that wasn’t fair. Instead he stumbled over his words.

“I- N-no, I’m a Sophomore at NYU. I, um, I took a year off after high school because, um, well, you know.” He shrugged. Yeah, blame it on the dead parents. Sure, it was partially true, but Kurt and his “helpful” suggestion to take a break and stay with him for peace of mind was the real reason and it had done nothing but damage his mind. He took another deep breath and forced himself to finally look up at Seb. To look at his face properly, his eyes meeting an intense and familiar green that were hiding their emotions very carefully. Same as always. Blaine had spent months, once upon a time, gently tugging those walls down and with regret he remembered how they snapped harshly back into place within seconds, blocking him out completely.

His anxiety was on the rise again with those kinds of thoughts and he visibly swallowed and took another deep breath. His mantra repeating in his head over and over. Breathe in, breathe out. Count to ten. You’ve got this, Blaine. Maybe it didn’t really work, maybe he was kidding himself but it was currently keeping him from his urge to cry. To obsess over Sebastian’s flippant and annoyed words because maybe Blaine had broken Seb’s heart, but he’d also broken his own in the process. The fucking thing was still in pieces that never seemed to want to fit back the way they were supposed to. But his therapist had helped him see that while his actions when he was younger were warranted, given the circumstances, he maybe could have done it in a better way. Explained himself better to Sebastian. Then maybe the two of them would be someplace else right now and Blaine would have never gone back to Kurt. He also should have stayed in therapy in high school and not stopped going for years when Kurt told him he didn’t need it. His head might be someplace else right now as well.

He tried at sarcasm. “If you consider a cramped Brooklyn flat with a closet for a bedroom and working two and half jobs on top of classes The Dream then sure, yeah, I’m living it.” The sarcasm fell flat and he only ended up sounding self deprecating which made him want to kick himself because he didn’t want Seb’s pity. He ignored the marriage question altogether and instead chose to focus on what was actually new in his life. What could he even say? Hey Seb, I’m super fucked up, I’ve been in heavy therapy that’s breaking my bank for six months now. I take a shit load of meds that make me want to sleep for days sometimes, or keep me awake for days at other times. And sometimes they make it so I can’t eat, not even my sweets, you remember how I liked those, right? Yeah, and sometimes they make it so I can’t cry and then some days I can’t stop crying. Oh yeah, after my parents died and I lost you I went back to Kurt and he ended up being a bully this time around, like the worst kind. Can you believe I allowed myself to get abused? He struggled even thinking that word. Fuck.

No. No, he couldn’t say any of that. But, he needed to say something. Something that was good and positive about himself. Just fucking make something up, Blaine. “Ah, well, as I said, I’ve moved to Brooklyn. Like seven or so months ago. It’s cramped, and weird living alone after, um, never living alone before but it’s mine and I get a lot of time with my music now.” Never mind that he wasn’t writing or even playing at all. Only when it came to his school work and even then it was mostly uninspired.

“What about you? Is New York treating you as good as Paris does?” Suddenly he wanted to just tell Sebastian that he missed him. That he thought about him all the damn time and that over the course of the last four years he’d picked up his phone to call him and tell him and to beg him to come back to him over a dozen times. The one time he actually did it didn’t really count because he had been intoxicated and it was messy. Instead he lamely asked, “How’s your mom?” because he’d always liked Sabine and it was the furthest thing away from I miss you as possible.

He turned and looked back into the sliding glass of the apartment door, wanting to break the eye contact in some way, feeling trapped in the emerald hue. He didn’t want to feel trapped. It made him anxious. He could make out the shape of Hunter and David bent together conversationally as they slowly made their way back towards them. Both of them carried drinks in each hand. God, he wished they’d hurry. He could feel himself crumbling. The facade of happiness he’d painted on for his old friends falling apart the longer he stood out here talking like nothing had happened. He always did this with Sebastian. Always gave way too much of himself away to him. He let him see everything. And maybe it was because with Seb, he was allowed to be too much. Or he used to be allowed anyway. Now he had nothing. Just memories that ate him up all the time. Making Blaine feel the other shitty things in his life even more intensely.

He wrapped his arms around himself to try and hold himself together. Midnight was close. It would arrive and then leave and Seb would, too. Probably putting the thought of Blaine back into whatever locked compartment he kept him in. And Blaine would go home and feel the chance meeting way too much and all at once and fuck he needed more to drink. His head was already throbbing right along with his heart at the thought of having to sit alone and feel this little conversation.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian could see a million little emotions flit across Blaine’s face. Sebastian had kept track for a little while on social media but, it had hurt him to see that he had gotten back with Kurt. He had taken a step back after that. He stopped checking his Facebook obsessively, stopped staring at his Instagram, didn’t send texts or snaps. Blaine had drunkenly called him one glorious, hopeful night but it was all taken away from him the next morning. Sebastian noticed that Blaine mentioned moving and living alone. He had heard that the two of them had split and kept that information folded up like a secret love note in the back of his head. Sebastian couldn’t keep his stomach from flipping in excitement to basically hear it confirmed out loud. He reprimanded the butterflies battering his ribs, had to silently remind them that simply hearing words didn’t really mean anything and they were all just going to be let down again. “Isn’t it strange? We’ve both been running around the city for about the same amount of time and haven’t ran into each other? I suppose it’s because you’d never find me in Brooklyn.” Sebastian threw in a trademark eye roll for good measure, trying his best to keep his voice blase. His fingers itched to light a cigarette, his nerves were on fire from the specific spike of adrenaline that only a past heartbreak can cause.

He ran a hand through his hair to shake away the snowflakes that had gathered there and shivered, he wasn’t sure if it was from the nerves or from the weather. “New York treats me just fine. There are so many beautiful men, so many parties. I stay busy.”

Sebastian’s face fell slightly when the other man asked about his mother. Part of him felt angry, like how dare he? Maybe if he cared so much he could have reached out a few times. The other part of him understood because Blaine grew close with Sabine in the short time they were involved. Seb knew that if she were there, she’d pull the other man into a lavender scented hug and tell him in her accent that she had missed seeing him around. “She’s good.” He shrugged his shoulders. Sebastian wasn’t about to get into any of the messy details of how their relationship had become fucked up since Blaine was in his kitchen baking Christmas cookies with her. He loved his mother, she was his closest confidant. But he had messed up so many times in the past few years that she had developed little worry lines in her beautiful forehead, sounded sad on the phone with him more often than not, cried for him and begged him to slow down.

Sebastian heard the door slide open, saw Hunter and David appear with drinks behind Blaine. “Fucking finally.” He held out his hand for his drink. “Took you long enough. We could use the pick me up, couldn’t we, B?”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine tried to smile, but it came out more as a wince.”Yeah, I guess you’re right.” In reality Blaine knew it was relatively easy to avoid someone when you knew they lived around you. Blaine would often find himself checking in on Hunter’s Instagram or Facebook or Twitter to see if he was in town. Hunter was much more active on socials and would often post some of the places he and Sebastian would frequent. Blaine knew places to avoid in Manhattan for the most part. Plus, it wasn’t like Blaine had spent his first years here going out and about by himself all the time. No, that was difficult when where you went and what you did was mostly dictated by someone else. When you mostly only did things that they wanted to do.

“Hey, Brooklyn isn’t so bad. I’ve been working at a local coffee shop and a bar there for the last few months and it’s been pretty therapeutic. And sure, the apartment is shitty, but it beats the overpriced ritzy places in Manhattan.” He rolled his eyes, trying to come across as playful. His apartment in Manhattan had actually been incredible. Just not the people he had to share it with. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to forgive Rachel for denying what was happening right in front of her. He cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the thought before he was engulfed in more anxiety about it. “Besides, I lived in Manhattan for the first three years I lived here, so there was always the chance we could have run into each other then. Guess fate wasn’t having it.”

Beautiful men and parties. Of course Blaine knew Sebastian did that sort of thing. He did that sort of thing when he was fifteen. But, he could feel that this was meant to sting him a little and if not, it stung anyway. He didn’t like thinking about Sebastian with random men every weekend, but he wasn’t stupid. Not about this anyway. And Sebastian had never been shy about his sex life. It didn't matter if he already knew though, he could feel his face fall at the confirmation, could feel the sudden stricken look and did his best to cover it up. He bit his lip and forced himself to nod. “It’s good that you’re keeping busy. I’m happy the city has been good to you.” the words tasted rotten on his tongue and where the hell were Hunter and David?

Blaine noted the way Sebastian’s face fell at the mention of Sabine and knew that he’d messed up by asking. Blaine had been incredibly fond of her, he found her glamorous and lovely and admired the way she loved Sebastian so much. But Seb’s short answer and stiff shrug made Blaine wonder if maybe she hated him now, too. Hated him for hurting her son even though Blaine hadn’t wanted to. He wouldn’t blame her. He still hated himself for it. “I’m glad to hear that.” The words felt hollow even though they were true.

David waited until Blaine could see him before he nudged him and handed him his drink. The cup was full and Blaine had to fight the urge to down it in one go.He shouldn’t be drinking anything at all. It would work against his medicine and probably make him sick but he couldn’t find it in him to care as he took a gulp like the whisky was water. Yeah, Seb had been right, the pick me up was needed. He smiled and thanked David for the drink, his friend asking if he was cool before he moved to lean against the railing on the balcony with Hunter. The two of them were turned toward each other and seemed to be picking up their earlier conversation which left him alone with Sebastian again.

He turned towards his old friend- friend? Lover? God, what even was Sebastian to him? Neither word seemed good enough. He lifted his cup for another drink, his eyes catching on Seb’s cheek again. The cigarette ash was still there. Still kissing Seb’s cheekbone and Blaine opened his mouth to tell him about it when the sounds of thousands of people started counting from the streets below joined by the crowd in the apartment. He froze, the voices blending like a choir in perfect harmony.

They had gotten to from eight to five and Blaine shot Hunter and David a look because why didn’t they tell them what time it was? Blaine had been hoping to excuse himself before midnight, was hoping to have himself hidden away in the bathroom so he didn’t have to hug a bunch of strangers or have someone kiss his cheek and he didn’t have to pretend he was excited for the new year. But, here he was, standing not even three feet from Sebastian Smythe and he didn’t know what to do. 4-3-2… and suddenly there were fireworks bursting overhead, it was a new year and there was confetti billowing in the winter night to the melancholy tune of Auld Lang Syne as it rang out. Snowflakes danced in the air while the people below kissed and laughed like they'd never feel sorrow again. He wished he could relate.

Sebastian's POV:

Sebastian’s stomach fell, fell through the apartment building floors, the butterflies gone. Guess fate wasn’t having it. His mouth stiffened and he took a sharp breath. He wanted to pinch the bridge of his nose, a nervous tick of his when he got frustrated. Sebastian fought against his own body, the acidic sick feeling in his stomach, the jittery adrenaline running through his veins, the trapped 16 year old in his brain yelling and screaming and begging Blaine to just fucking take him back. Just tell me you miss me, please. I miss you. I feel like you hate me and that makes me hate myself. “It was fate, sure.” Sebastian’s voice was dry and he fought the urge to laugh. You know that maniacal laughter when everything is just too much and your lungs feel like they might explode and your skin is burning and all you want to do is scream and laugh and tell everybody to just fuck off? “I guess fate has never favored me.”

He was so over this small talk. He was disgusted by the reactions happening under his skin that nobody but him could feel. Blaine was Sebastian’s first and only heartbreak. He was disgusted by how sprung he still was, had lied to himself and told himself that he was over it. Sebastian had never been over it and that realization was so embarrassing that he could hardly stand himself and he wanted to tear himself out of his skin. Most of the words Blaine was saying were just floating over his head at this point, he was so disappointed with the direction of this meeting. Sometimes when Sebastian got drunk or sad or high enough he would let himself imagine reuniting with Blaine. That Blaine would tell him he missed him and Sebastian would say that he loved him and they’d patch each other’s wounds and kiss in pools and hold hands in parks and share french fries and Blaine would tackle him in his mother’s backyard and kiss him all over his face, his neck and they’d laugh until their stomachs hurt again.

Sebastian took a much needed swig of his vodka cranberry that Hunter had made a little too weak and rolled his eyes to himself. Of course Hunter wouldn’t make him a strong drink. He was probably too worried about him. It didn’t matter, Sebastian already planned on ditching the party for a bar anyway. Suddenly, the world seemed to explode into noise. Sebastian could hear the countdown echoing all around them. Hunter and David distracted and cheering, clapping each other on the back. The people inside of the apartment wrapped in the golden glow of Christmas lights left up from the days before, some of them were kissing strangers or old lovers, shaking hands and hugging and laughing. A few of the party goers exploded onto the balcony in a burst of noisemakers and music but Sebastian felt like he was alone, just staring at Blaine as he awkwardly clasped his plastic cup. He felt like he was stuck in the worst snow globe ever produced. Such a sad scene; two damaged boys too afraid to fix anything surrounded by kissing strangers and dirty snow and cheering partiers. They say that the people you’re with at midnight on New Year’s eve were who you would spend your year with. The thought made Sebastian feel so alone because he didn’t really feel like Blaine was really there.

In the back of his head, where he kept his most guarded secrets, Sebastian knew he would give anything to be wrapped in the warmth of Blaine, the glow of cheap lights on their skin, kissing the taste of New Year’s champagne away.

The words were out of his lips before he could stop them. Sebastian knew his eyes looked pained, and that his flirty voice didn’t match his sad but eager body language.

“You don’t wanna kiss me, B?”

Blaine’s POV:

Blaine’s body tensed even more at Sebastian’s words. He knew Sebastian didn’t believe in fate or any of that sort of thing, but the way he said seemed so sad. No Seb, I’m the one that fate doesn’t favor. I’m the fuck up and the reason we’re in this awkward, forced conversation. I’m the reason you’re making yourself stand out here in the cold that you hate so much. You’ve never liked it, only tolerated it for me. Blaine used to love the wintertime, it was magical and it made him feel so full of wonder but he’d lost so much during the winter that the magic had turned harsh and had made him bitter towards the season. No, it wasn’t Seb’s fault or fate’s. It was all his. Why were they doing this? Sebastian hated small talk. He’d always hated the way people scrambled for answers to questions he didn’t give a shit about.

It’s my fault you’re out here, making yourself do things you don’t like doing in the first place. I’m always making you do that. Pushing you out of your comfort zone... Always making you feel and hurt and god, you should hate me. The only thing you ever did wrong was let someone like me see how good you are. You wasted it on me. The words were there, threatening to push past his teeth. He could remember the hurt, no the heart wrenching look on Sebastian’s face when he’d broke it off with him. It didn’t matter why he did it. But he would face a thousand insults and bruises every single day again over seeing that face ever again. He ignored the little voice that sounded a lot like Sam, telling him that he had been forced to face that anyway. A voice sounding like his own told him he must've deserved it.

You don’t wanna kiss me, B?”

Hunter and David were suddenly paying very close attention to the two of them now. And the words sent a spike through his heart and at first he thought he might have been being cruel. Taunting him, and turning what they had into some mockery, but the tone didn’t match his face. Seb’s eyes were full of a pain that Blaine knew well, and his face was eager and open and Blaine could, for just a moment, read him like a book. God, how much are you hurting, Seb? And for a second Blaine ached to just pull him into his arms and hold him close. To reassure him that their time together was so much more than just a fling. That he had loved him wholly and completely and still did. He wanted to kiss his face and tell him that he was so fucking sorry for how it ended and that he deserved the world. He wanted to tell him that even when he had gotten trapped by Kurt and manipulated into a three year relationship of insecurities, and head games that he was unable to dig himself out of, he'd thought about Sebastian. Seb wouldn’t have done those things to Blaine.

What I wouldn’t give to turn back our timeline and keep you with me. Make you feel all the love and attention I have for you. I’d make you see that you deserved all of it and none of the bullshit I did. I’d let you help me though what I lost and I wouldn’t have pushed you away, no matter how much it hurt to bring you down with me.

Still the words were locked in his brain, he couldn’t say them. He didn’t deserve that peace of mind. Telling him how much he missed the summer nights and autumn weekends and winter touches wouldn’t do shit. The damage to them and then to Blaine had already been done. Blaine had started it and then Kurt had seen to the rest. He’d messed Blaine’s mind up completely and manipulated him into thinking he wasn’t good enough for anyone. Therapy only went so far and even Blaine knew that if he wasn’t so stupid he would have left Kurt before it got as bad as it did. And then maybe he’d have found a way back to Sebastian and begged him to give him another chance. But Blaine had been stupid and and wanting to tell Sebastian all of this stuff was unfair to the other man because even if Seb gave him a chance Blaine was so fucked up he wasn’t sure he knew how to do any of it anymore. Nor did he deserve the chance. His hands had gone clammy in his gloves thinking about his relationship with Kurt and he wanted to scream. The cheering and the music and the blood rushing in his ears was all too much.

Maybe Blaine was wrong and he was misreading everything. Maybe Sebastian wasn’t hurting and was only being polite to him because he felt sorry for him. Maybe someone had told him about the last few years of his pathetic life and Seb was taking pity on him. Maybe he and Hunter would go home later and laugh at him. He swallowed hard, biting into his lip hard enough to feel the pain, his breathing picking up as he really looked at Sebastian. No, Blaine wasn’t wrong. Sebastian was hurting, the pain was truly written all over his face. In the way he stood, in the way he tried too hard to sound casual. He didn’t need to try, casual was as easy for Sebastian Smythe as breathing. This was different. The man in front of him was feeling some of the same things as him and it made Blaine feel even worse about himself.

He wanted to run, he wanted to scream but most of all he wanted to walk over and kiss Sebastian. The words had left him with an even bigger ache than he had when he’d first spotted him that night and if he didn’t leave soon he’d embarrass himself not only in front of Sebastian but in front of the rest of his old friends. Some legend, huh? He took a deep breath and lifted his cup to his lips and finished his drink, trying to figure out how he could leave. But, as he was setting the empty cup on the ground and his feet were instantaneously carrying him towards the taller man and his fingers were shedding his gloves. And while Blaine knew he couldn’t kiss him, he wasn’t brave enough nor was it fair to Sebastian, he knew that he needed to at least touch him. Show him that he missed him and that he was happy- or as happy as he could feel right now, to see him.

He tucked his gloves into his coat pocket and stepped up to his person. His eyes were level with Seb’s shoulders and he couldn’t bring himself to look up for a moment. Finally, after what felt like hours but had probably only been seconds, Blaine lifted his eyes to meet Sebastian’s. The other man seemed frozen in time. Blaine’s left hand, shaky and freezing, came up to rest against the side of his face, his thumb softly brushing the little flecks of ash that had made a home on Seb’s cheek away. How easy this felt to him. Standing here with Sebastian’s snow cold face in his hands. It felt so good and Blaine’s lips twitched into an almost smile… And what was he doing? All at once Blaine was overwhelmed. His breath hitched and his eyes were suddenly blurred either from the cold or tears either way it made him drop his hand and shake his head.

“I- I- fuck, um, you just h-had something…” He lifted his hands to show that Seb had something on his face but it seemed silly now and he shook his head, frustrated that he couldn’t get the words out. “I’m sorry. I should go. I have to work in the morning.” A lie. He ducked his head, feeling his anxiety overtake him and why he hadn't brought anything to calm himself down? He looked up, but not into Seb’s eyes, his arms wrapping around himself as he felt like a deer in the headlights. He nodded a goodbye to Hunter and shook his head at David. “I’m good David, I can get an Uber. Stay and have fun, okay?” He turned, head dipped and looked up at Seb through his lashes so that the other man couldn’t really see his face properly. “It was good to see you, Seb, I really hope you have a good night.” He swallowed hard and nodded, as if that would prove he meant it. “Happy New Year.”

Blaine turned on his heel and before David or anyone else could stop him he made his way into the crowded party. He kept his head ducked, bee lining it toward the front door, hoping to god that no one noticed him. He managed to avoid everyone’s hands but not their eyes as his name was called out over the music a few times by random voices, he nodded politely but didn’t stop. He hoped they’d understand and even if they didn’t it didn’t matter. It’d be months before they reached out to him again. The elevator was muggy as he rode down, which made the cold air that hit his heated face seem even more cold when he stepped out of the building. There was already a text from David asking if he was okay, and Nick had sent a series of question marks. Blaine ignored them, his eyes blurry as he pulled up the Uber app and tipsily tried to type the address of the party into his phone.

Breathe in and back out again, Blaine. Count to ten. You’ve got this.

It wouldn’t be until he was home an hour later, tucked into his creaky bed and numb with a dose of sleepiness via an Ambien bottle and the whisky from the party that he’d allow himself to really feel the events of the night as the emotion and pills pulled him into sleep. His eyes would be red and his head would be pounding in the morning.

Sebastian’s POV:

Sebastian knew it was cliche but to him it suddenly felt like the world had stopped. Blaine was moving towards him, he was taking his gloves off, reaching for him. The snow fell slowly, slowly, slowly and his music-worn hand was on his cheek. He knew those hands so well once upon a time, knew the calluses at his fingertips, had felt them drag across his belly underneath his tee shirt, felt them on his lips. He blinked and stood silently as Blaine’s thumb wiped at a spot on his cold cheek. Sebastian became aware of Hunter and David watching, he could feel the hush that fell over their conversation. He wondered if Hunter regretted begging him to come. Hunter had stood by on the sidelines when the two of them were involved, and had tried to pick up the pieces at their abrupt end. Hunter got to, once again, witness Sebastian’s downfall.

Just as fast as Blaine’s rough hand cradled his cheek, it dropped back to his side and Sebastian felt colder than he had all evening. “Thanks for that.” He muttered the words mostly to himself as he rubbed his own hand over the spot. “Same to you.” Sebastian watched as Blaine hurried through the party. He noticed that he didn’t stop to say goodbye to anybody. Blaine had changed a lot in the past few years, that was for sure. Sebastian never thought he’d witness Blaine shy away from attention or the chance to work a room with his bright smile and easy going charm.

Sebastian decided that he had had enough of the party and the reunions and took off as Hunter tried to walk over. His friend was talking but Sebastian had ignored him with a hand up in the air. Sebastian weaved through the bodies inside of the apartment and ignored everybody that called out to him, though it was only a few people since most knew better. He could feel Hunter following but didn’t turn around, instead he chose to basically throw himself down the stairs and run into a cab that was waiting for somebody else. Sebastian was faster than Hunter, he could lose him. He shoved a fifty towards the driver and gave him the address of a random club he knew he could score boys and free drinks and drugs at, “and hurry.”

He lit a cigarette outside of the club and exhaled into the bitter air. He shoved his free hand in his pocket and let the nicotine wash over his nerves. Sebastian could hear the bass from the club reverberate through the air around him. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t going to scream or send any shitty messages. He was going to finish this cigarette, get some guy to buy him a few rounds, maybe do a few lines in the bathroom, dance until his thighs burned in a wash of colorful lights, and end up in the bed of a guy with dark hair but not the right eyes.

/fin.

#seblaine #seblaine canon divergence #seblaine para #para: memories #seblaine rp #para

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