#WOW OK i never write angst lol idk where this came from
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incensuous · 11 months ago
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Hello! Tortured anon here :,)
Firstly, thank you for being so kind and listening to me like that, and also for being supportive. You get it! It’s the best when it’s organic and sneaks up, but also so heartbreaking when its material discontinues just as unexpectedly!
Ok so it was a Naruto fanfic, I think non-Uchiha massacre au. I don’t normally read fics with OCs but there was a lack of updates in my usual fics and I was pretty desperate, right? So I gave it a shot. The OC was Itachi’s younger and Sasuke’s older sister. Or maybe she was Itachi’s twin imo, I either don’t remember or it wasn’t specified (I read it a year ago 😭). And idk. There was angst and sibling wholesomeness… When I read it, I was filled with good feels. Then I kept waiting for an update, which never came, and my starving brain replayed the fic and cooked up possible scenarios according to it and now I have a new ship that doesn’t exist anywhere outside of those 2 chapters 🤡😭 And you’re so right! Idk wth it is about most brosis media like why are they written/portrayed so shippily????
hello!! of course, i'm honored you'd want to share with me 🥺
wow that sounds amazing ahhh i also tend to hesitate reading fics with OCs, but i'm so glad there was lots of sibling wholesomeness. extra brownie points from me for the sister being potentially a twin and older sister of sasuke <3 and i think it would be harmless indulgence to write down your ideas/write small fic for yourself with the scenarios you're thinking of, if you already haven't. (i'd hesitate to share this publicly if it's using someone else's OC, but privately? no one can stop you lol)
i don't want to give false hope but i'm not sure when the last time the author had updated the fic. as a boomer fic reader, i'm sometimes pleasantly surprised by a fic getting updated years later. (... i am also guilty of this!) i'm also not sure where you read it but sometimes when i really enjoy a fic, i go back and leave an additional comment. and it might just serve as more inspiration for the author, especially to know their fic is sticking with someone a year later!
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loversarcanas · 3 years ago
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5am marcy angst time </3 (tw for death and light mentions of blood)
"Marcy Wu, don't you dare die on us-"
"You've gotta be okay Marmar, you've got to be-"
The voices of the girls she loved so dearly faded in and out of existence. Their familiar faces, twisted in fear and desperation, became fuzzy and indiscernable in her eyes. Though her body grew more numb by the minute, she could feel the warmth of their hands on her. Sasha's calloused palms were pressed firmly against the gushing wound on her chest, as she frantically tried to stop its bleeding. Anne's shaking fingers stroked her cheeks with a gentle fervor that, were it not for her very life being dangerously compromised, would have sent her heart skyrocketing.
How selfish, that one of her fleeting thoughts within the panic was that she wished she could feel their touch like this forever. But then again, was it not her own selfishness that brought her to this moment? That desirous need to be with them, on Earth or Amphibia or in any other life. Her escapism had dire consequences, and it was only right for karma to claim her now.
"...losing too much blood, Anne! I don't know if I can..."
"... can't die, we can't just let her die Sasha! What do we..."
Marcy could barely make out their words, but the panic in their voices spoke volumes. She was terrified of dying, of course she was. But in that moment, she felt that maybe she deserved it. If she continued living after everything? After all the pain inflicted on her best friends, all the danger she'd so thoughtlessly put them in while she lived out some wild RPG fantasy? Surely the weight of her own guilt would crush her. Sasha and Anne would leave her, she would be alone. And for Marcy Wu, a life without Sasha and Anne would be a fate worse then death.
"H..hey.... It's okay you guys" She choked out, looking between the blurred faces of her friends. "I'm... so sorry it turned out like this... This was all my fault, so-"
Anne cut her off, this time grabbing her face more forcefully and leaning in close - so close she could smell the salt from her tears and feel the heat of her breath against her face.
"No Marcy, don't say that! It wasn't just-"
With as much strength as she could muster, Marcy reached up and caressed Anne's cheek with one hand, and clasped Sasha's own hands with her other. Anne's cheek was so soft, even through the wet tears that stained it. She Sasha's knuckles were dry and cracked, a far cry from when she'd keep them immaculately lotioned on Earth, but still hers. What she wouldn't give to press her lips to those dry knuckles or to kiss those soft cheeks. To kiss them.
"It's okay, Anne. You don't have to lie." Her words were shaky and tired, her throat crackly and sore. "But... Even if it turned out like this, I'm glad we got to have this adventure together. Thank you for staying with me."
Sasha stared back at Marcy, those brown eyes always alight with passion and determination, now fraught and pleading and soaked from crying.
"Marcy stop. Just don't...don't talk like your gonna die! We won't let you die so just stop it!"
The darkness at the corners of her vision grew and her ability to stay lucid was fading fast. There was no time left to make her peace, and so with the last of her energy, she smiled.
"In the next life... we can be together forever. "
Her feet were ice, and the cold crept up her legs further and further. Her hands and arms were freezing.
"I promise... I'll wait for you. So please come find me, okay?"
The pressure from her chest lifted, the hands that fondled her face left, and the feelings were replaced with the weight of two bodies on top of her, clutching to the last remains of her livelihood with desperation.
"Anna Banana... Sashy..."
Darkness engulfed her.
"...I love you."
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petersnya · 4 years ago
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SOMETIMES PT.2
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---NOT MY PIC--- PETER PARKER X FEM!READER
Warnings: SMUT, Fluff, Angst?? Idk lol
Word count:2145
COMMENT IF YOU LIKE THE STORY AND WANT ME TO CONTINUE! SHOULD I START WRITING FROM PETER OR Y/N’S POV?
[A/N]Heyyy! Soooo this is part of this series (I’ll link part one). Hope you guys enjoy it! PLEASE COMMENT AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK AND IF YOU WANT YOU CAN SEND ME MESSAGES AND ASK QUESTIONS I'LL ANSWER LOL. Anyway, I had fun writing this chapter so I hope you like it! -J.T.S xxx
PART ONE
During physics class, Peter was working on an upcoming project with Ned, but he spent most of his time sleeping. He was basically sleep deprived from patrolling the town and stopping crimes.
“Late night huh Pete?” Ned asked, nudging Peter's arm that was supporting his head in the palms of his hands as his eyes got heavy, starting to close. 
“Yeah, had to stop some petty theft last night,” he began, a yawn interrupting him, “took longer than I thought.” 
The bell rang, dismissing the students to their after-school activities, if you had none you would just go home. Peter and Ned gathered their things and headed to the school’s front doors- MJ catching up with them how she usually did. 
“Man, you look terrible,” MJ said with a slight chuckle. 
“Wow, thanks. You're such a great friend.” Peter retorted sarcastically. Ned wasn’t riding the bus home today, he had to go with his mom for something he refused to share with anyone but Peter; so Peter just decided to ask MJ to walk home with her. 
“Sorry Parker, Y/N is picking me up today. You’re welcome to ride with us if you want though.” 
Peter didn’t respond for a while, debating if it was worth the anxiety attack of being around her. Y/N was the only thing that was on his mind now. His attraction grew even more when she wore those glasses. He zoned out for a while till MJ snapped her fingers in front of his face. Blinking rapidly, his vision focused on MJ who was now reaching out to grab the handle of a car door. Y/N’s car. His breath hitched in his throat once he saw Y/N wearing those same glasses from last Friday, her hair in the messiest high-ponytail he had ever seen- but it was cute to him.
“Ya coming lover-boy?” Y/N said, looking Peter right in his wide brown eyes. He blushed at the nickname before answering. 
“Yeah… I’m coming.”
The three teens got into the car and started on their way. “Hey losers, wanna go shopping?” 
“Y/N you only wanna go to the mall to eat,” MJ said to Y/N who was now laughing loudly, throwing her head back in agreement with her. Suddenly, in the middle of her laugh, she let out a loud snort. The car went silent as Y/N covered her mouth with her hand. MJ and Y/N burst into laughter, Peter soon joining. They all joked and sang to the songs that played on the radio all the way to the mall. 
///
“Dude!” 
“Jeez Y/N, you scared me! What is it?” MJ said to her, clutching her chest from being startled. They all had gone to the food court and were now just walking around the mall and into random stores. 
“There's a Build-A-Bear Workshop here!” she exclaimed excitedly, pointing at it like a child. Peter couldn't help but smile at how adorable she looked freaking out over a child’s store. 
“Let's go in,” Peter said to the two of them. Y/N looked at him wide-eyed with a goofy smile on her face. Her eyes looked like they twinkled with excitement. She shoved her drink into MJ’s hand, fixed her glasses, then grabbed Peter’s hand while running into the store. 
“Oooohh, I should get an H.P-themed bear!” Before Peter could even answer, Y/N dragged him to one of the workers, asking if she could get a custom bear. They went over to the station and started to build. 
As Y/N was finishing up the bear, she turned to Peter, “Ok, I have a very serious question. What accessories should I get?” they were standing in the Harry Potter section, looking over all of the things they had to decorate the bear. Peter shrugged, but then, he had a great idea, “I-I think you should get the uh, the glasses. The ones like your dads…” he said in an unsure tone. Y/N looked at him with a soft smile on her face. She couldn’t help herself, she had no idea what came over her as she pulled Peter into a tight embrace. Peter hesitated before putting his arms around her waist- her arms draped over his neck. 
At that moment, Y/N inhaled Peters sent heavily. She felt so… safe in his arms. Like nothing bad could touch her. She never wanted to break away- MJ’s voice brought them back to reality.
“You guys done, I need to get new converse,” she said with a smirk plastered across her face. Y/N quickly pulled away from Peter, a million thoughts running through her mind, but only one seemed to overpower the rest. 
I would be in his arms forever if I could.
“Ma’am, would you like to add a voice to your bear?” the lady said to Y/N, causing her thoughts to disappear. 
“Actually,” Y/N paused looking at Peter and MJ, “yes, I would.” She grabbed the recorder from the worker’s hand and sent her a small smile. She looked at the curly-headed girl and the brown-eyed boy was on either side of her. She explained her plan, “Ok, I want all three of us to say ‘Mischief Managed’, ok?” 
“What does that mean?” Peter questioned, looking at the two girls. They both sent him a deadly stare. “Nevermind,” he mumbled. 
“Ok, on three, one… two… three…” 
“Mischief Managed!” the trio yelled, causing some customers in the store to turn their heads and stare at them. They all mumbled small sorry’s as they laughed. 
///
“Ok, Peter what's one thing you hate?” MJ asked, turning to face him. They were all sitting in the car at a drive-in movie. Peter was now in the front seat while MJ was in the back. They all decided to just talk because the movie was pretty boring to them. 
“Uhh, I can't stand sleeping with socks on.”
“I don't think anyone can Parker,” Y/N said, laughing slightly. 
“Well what about you then?” he asked her, turning his full attention as he anticipated her answer. 
“Easy, liars. Ugh, I hate liars! What’s the point? It’s not like I’m gonna judge you,” Y/N answered confidently. “See, that’s what I like about you, Parker. You are very honest,” she said with a genuine smile. Peter just loved her smile, the way it lit up her whole face.
“Welp imma go get some pizza from the stand back there,” MJ said as she got out of the car. Y/N and Peter sat there in silence for a moment- comfortable silence. 
Y/N was the first to break the silence, as usual, “Hey, Pete. I just wanna thank you for the whole glasses thing last Friday. It really helped me realize that I should’ve worn the glasses the moment he gave them to me. It’s like I have a part of him with me now... And I love Harry Potter, obviously. Ya know, I took a quiz and found out what house I’m in! Can you believe that I’m in-“
“You’re welcome, Y/N” Peter interrupted her rambling, sending her a small smile. They stared into each other's eyes for a while, admiring one another. Peter got this warm feeling inside and had that same surge of energy he had when he first met her. Before even processing what he was about to do, he grabbed her hand without breaking eye contact. He fiddled with the ring she had on her thumb. 
Y/N breath became shallow as her heart pounded at her chest. 
“I’m in Slytherin,” she said randomly, looking down at how Peter’s hands played with hers. He let out a breathy chuckle. Their eyes met once again. 
Y/N gathered all of her courage and quickly reached out her hand to grab Peter’s cheek, pulling him into her. Their lips were centimeters apart. She ran her thumb along Peter’s bottom lip, slightly parting it as she leaned in closer, catching his lips with hers. Their lips interlocked and it felt like heaven to the both of them. 
They pulled apart from the soft kiss and slowly opened their eyes, starting again into each other's eyes searching for the words that weren’t said. Peter couldn’t contain himself anymore. His large hand grabbed the back of Y/N’s neck, pushing his lips into hers in a lust-filled kiss. Just like the one he had imagined. 
This was the moment he had dreamt of and it was finally happening. 
He ran his tongue over her bottom lip, begging for an entrance. She gave it to him without hesitation. His tongue slowly slipped into her mouth while her tongue ran into his. 
Peter snaked his hands to her waist, lifting her from her seated position in the driver's seat. She complied and started to adjust to where she was sitting in his lap. His hands ran from her waist to her butt and gave it a tight squeeze.
Y/N let out a soft moan into Peter’s mouth. She slowly started to trail kisses down his neck as he massaged her thighs and ass. 
Y/N hands got tangled in Peter’s brown curls. She began to suck on Peter’s neck, wanting to leave a mark. Peter let out a low groan at the sensation of her soft lips and wet tongue on his skin. 
He lifted her head and connected their lips together once again. His veiny hand slipped between their body making its way down to her core. 
Peter never did stuff like this, and neither did Y/N. all of this was new to them but their connection was so strong that they were willing to push the limits.
As Peter’s hand reached Y/N core, he placed two fingers right on top of where her clothed clit was. He began to draw circles against it. Y/N started to rock her hips over his fingers, yearning for more friction. She started to let out moans uncontrollably, whimpering at the euphoric feeling of his fingers pressed against her dripping core. 
“Peter,” Y/N breathed out trying to catch her breath. Peter hummed in response while moving his lips down to kiss her neck. 
Suddenly, Peter snapped out of the trance that he seemed to be in. This moment was the best moment of his life, but his damned mind couldn’t help re-play Y/N’s words on a lope: I hate liars. Why? Before they went to the movies and were still at the mall, Y/N had asked Peter about his Stark’s internship. And, of course, he couldn’t tell her the truth. So he just lied. Y/N looked so intrigued in the conversation but Peter couldn’t bear lying to her over and over again. He felt so guilty...
“Y/N,” Peter let out. “Y/N, we can’t do this.”
Y/N head snapped up, her glasses left crooked on her face. She looked stunned by his words. Her shoulders slumped as she started asking questions.
“What? Why? Am I not a good kisser? I’ve only kissed one person before but I don’t even really wanna count that. Does my breath smell bad? Ugh, I knew this was a bad idea- wait no! I didn’t mean it like that, I just knew you didn’t like me how I liked you… I’m so stupid.”
After Y/N was finished rambling, she put her face in her hands, trying to avoid eye contact with the chocolate-eyed boy. 
Peter was speechless. He didn’t know what to say, because what he wanted to say was: no Y/N that’s not it at all. You are the most amazing girl I’ve ever met, I- I lied to you… 
No. he couldn’t say that it would absolutely crush her and he couldn’t bear to hurt her. Peter put his hands on her waist, making Y/N jerk her body in shock. She let a small smile spread across her face, thinking Peter was going to hug her or make a cute gesture or even continue what they had started. He lifted Y/N and slid her back to the driver’s side.
Her smile dropped from her face and she pushed herself the rest of the way to the driver’s side. Peter sat there awkwardly, praying she wouldn’t say anything. It killed him to see the gloomy look on her face as she fixed her glasses. 
“I’m back with pizza!” MJ announced as she made her way into the backseat. “Woah, hey, cuz what’s wrong?”
“We’re going home,” Y/N replied with a cold tone of voice. This shocked Peter and MJ. Y/N was usually so smiley, even after her dad passed. She always tried to find the light in every situation. But something was different with this. One thing Peter knew for sure,
I fucked up…
[A/N] HEY GUYSSSS SO I HOPE YOU LIKED PART TWO. SORRY, IT WAS UP A BIT LATE, IVE BEEN HAVING INTERNET PROBLEMS. ANYWAY, SORRY FOR ANY GRAMMAR MISTAKES (IM GONNA GO BACK AND FIX THOSE) 
-J.T.S XXX
@love-granger​
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tommybaholland · 4 years ago
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Hiya! I was wondering if I could request a one-shot with Sugawara where the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? Then maybe another person catches his attention and the reader starts to distance themselves from Suga to try to spare themselves the hurt? Then maybe turns out the other person was just using Suga/wasn’t serious bout him and he realizes that the person he really loves is the reader but now they’re staying away from him and just angst and fluff and dramatic confessions?? Sorry if it’s far too much detail, I get carried away. Your writing is amazing, keep up the fantastic work!
somebody, some body
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featuring: sugawara 
goddddd i’m so sorry i am late with a post AGAIN. this has been way overdue to be posted actually, and last night i finished it and was almost done with editing but accidentally lost everything i added and edited in the draft :// so thank you for being patient with me! this ended up being pretty long, so hopefully that makes up for the wait :) anyway, i really liked this idea! i have a little personal experience with this kind of situation, so it was fun to explore those feelings a bit. thanks for requesting and enjoy!
you didn’t always know that you would be in love with koshi sugawara. your dynamic was always friendly, and nothing more. so where did you go wrong?
when you think back to your history with suga, you could never find yourself resenting any time you spent with him. it all started when you moved into his neighborhood and as a shy child, you didn’t have the easiest time making friends. but he was a kind boy who was around your age and made it easy for you to form a bond with him. after all those years, neither one of you had changed that much. you were still reserved at heart but, he was the one who pushed you to things that you both could enjoy. 
one is joining the high school volleyball club together. you weren’t usually one to go outside of your comfort zone, but with him, you felt like you could do anything. he had you fuel your enthusiasm and you had him to thank for that. volleyball ended up being a great idea because it was quite a versatile sport that anyone could play. you found that you were quite athletic and took a liking to the libero position. there was just something exciting about digging a ball off the ground and rolling on the floor to get back up again. also, it looked pretty cool. 
so that was great until you hurt your shoulder during a game, which ended up being more severe than it seemed. now you couldn’t lift your left arm very far over your head unless you wanted to dislocate your shoulder again. it was already a tough recovery period because all you wanted to do was get back to the game. 
he was there with you for the entirety of it and even though he mostly encouraged you, he had to make sure you knew you wouldn’t do anything to hurt yourself. you felt helpless. it was the lowest he had ever seen you and he did everything he could to lift you back up again.
that was something you could never take for granted with him. 
the thing about you and suga is that you were in constant contact, especially during school. if it wasn’t sending each other funny memes or tiktoks, you were either on snapchat with each other or texting. sometimes simultaneously. 
are you alive?? 
yeah i’m awake, unfortunately
what do u want sugar-wara 
whoa how are you up this early lol and sugar is my thing ok
let’s go get sweet buns before class
ur right, it is ur thing. ur sugar-wara
okay i’ll meet you by the light in 15 
there was a lonely intersection in your neighborhood with a red stoplight that seems to have malfunctioned and now the light never stops blinking. you and suga lived on the same street, with the intersection being a perfect place to literally meet in the middle. 
“hey, sugar-- uh oh. someone doesn’t look so sweet today!”
he was always so peppy in the mornings. 
“yeah, well, maybe if someone didn’t wake me up with their annoying texts..”
“if you really don’t want to be woken up, you’d put your phone on do not disturb. you can thank me later for being your alarm clock.” 
he gave you a bright smile and a few head pats before you set off down the road to your favorite bakery which happened to be on the way to school. you didn’t go every morning, but most days it was necessary for you to start your day off right. 
“how’s the team looking this year, mr. vice captain?”
“pretty good, actually! four first years joined the team and one of them’s over six feet tall. our blocks will be unstoppable!”
 there were several things you loved about suga but, if there was one thing you enjoyed most, it was hearing him get psyched about volleyball. even though you couldn’t play anymore, his undying enthusiasm for the sport made you feel like you were living through him vicariously. 
“and there’s one who’s on the shorter side, only a little taller than noya. but he seems to have so much energy and drive, it’s just-- i don’t know, i have a feeling we could actually make it to nationals this year.” 
“wow, that’s great!” 
“you should come to practice and see them! also we just got asahi back so i need to make sure my sets really land.” 
“kou, you know i love watching you guys but isn’t that what kiyoko’s there for?”
“well, yeah, but you know how i play best!”
“yeah, sure. it’s not like i have anything better to do.” 
“you never let me down!” 
 his smile never let you down. 
it was your senior year of high school and it felt like things were going to be nothing but great.
“so...speaking of you knowing me best,” he started rather hesitantly.
“what would you do if i...made you dinner?”
“i...what?”
“oh, uh, oh, no. not, like, i make you dinner but, like...rei finally agreed to come around tonight and i thought i’d make something for them.”
“oh, um,” you tried to force a smile. “yeah, i think they’d like that.”
“yeah? you don’t think it’s too cheesy or anything? we haven’t hung out very much but i’d thought it would be a nice way to show them that i mean what i feel, you know?”
“yeah, yeah! that sounds perfect, kou..”
if only they knew that they were so lucky. 
you knew about this person, rei. they were your teammate and even a friend at one time. they transferred to karasuno during your second year and you bonded over your shared interest of the libero position. they didn’t get to play much that season until you got injured and had to quit playing. 
to see them fill that position so easily, it made you feel so type of way. a way that suga couldn’t know because even though he was there for you, he couldn’t deny his feelings. you remember when he told you that he liked them. about how he’s liked them ever since they came to karasuno and about how he was nervous to talk to them. 
and guess what?
you encouraged him. you encouraged him to try to pursue someone who you knew and liked, so now you had to hide that you were envious of both their position on the team AND the fact that your best friend is in love with them. 
at first, you tried to look at it as a positive point. you were still friendly with them, but volleyball was the only thing that connected you so you didn’t talk to them that much anymore. but now that suga, the person you’re closest to, was talking to them, it opened up the possibility that you would be able to reconnect with them. you had to be supportive. you were his friend, his closest friend, after all. 
-
the next morning you didn’t wake up from a text from suga. no, it took several snooze buttons to wake you up, which already put you in a bad mood. 
it’s ur turn now. are u alive??
i actually woke up to my alarms, how weird. u must be dead lol 
also have you done the english assignment yet? i need serious help >_<
you weren’t afraid to double, triple, even quadruple text him because more often than not, he did that to you. sometimes he’d even send longish paragraphs as he did later that day when classes had already started. 
hey sorry today has just been filled with fun and thriving and good stuff! rei asked me if i wanted to meet up with them before school last night and they made me some sweet buns and they were soooo good. i think we’re going to eat lunch together with some of their friends from vbc. ugh english sucks for me too. idk why you think i’m good at it
you almost jumped at the gesture to reply. it was never this long that he would go without text you at least one dumb thing. 
haha it’s okay don’t be sorry! so i guess last night went well?
also ur great at english sugar-wara what r u talking about??
it surprised you how quickly they seemed to become so friendly. it was kinda weird that he would already be spending a lot of time with her and now meeting all her friends. he probably already knew of them though, with volleyball and everything. the thoughts of how long you would have to wait for a reply crept in your mind, but that was quickly erased by an elapsed period of only a few minutes. 
yeah it went great! they had never had someone cook for them before, so they really liked it. this morning they told me they’d show me how to make fried eggs bc i said i dont know how to use a stove lol 
wait you made a whole meal for this person and u don’t know how to use the stove??
i used a crockpot and microwave ok :// don’t make fun of me dingus 
well a stove would definitely broaden ur horizons lmao that’s nice it went well though 
thank you i hope its going well 
that conversation was truly the end of the beginning. 
Every day after that seemed to happen the same way. you’d wake up, no text from suga. he hadn’t even replied to what you last said the previous night. you didn’t see him much either, but you knew who he was with probably. you would still stop by at volleyball practice where you did get to see him but they were there also. so you found yourself dipping out a lot more. 
it just felt weird. seeing him talk to someone he didn’t even know before. they didn’t even know him. even when you two were on the team together, they never once showed much interest in him and now it just seemed strange that they would. 
the transition was particularly difficult for you, as much as you didn’t want to admit it. one night you were so overwhelmed with work because you had waited too long to do it. frantically texting suga was an understatement. 
you knew you couldn’t put all your reliance on him but it was weird that he wasn’t replying on a school night as he was just as much a procrastinator as you. you dragged yourself through the night, trying to put together a somewhat coherent speech for english the next day. which, again, started as it had for the past few weeks. you still hadn’t heard from him, but it doesn’t even matter anymore. by the time he replied, it was almost embarrassing on your part. 
oh my god y/n i’m so sorry i didn’t reply sooner. i tried to get all my work done early so i could hang out with rei last night and i was asking my mom for advice and she told me to just pay attention to them as much as possible so i just wanted to be with them, you know? but i really hope you didn’t beat yourself up too much about it and that you got at least a little sleep. i’m sure your speech went well :) 
you sounded desperate for his help and meanwhile, he’s genuinely trying to show someone how much they mean to him. could you look any more stupid? 
you didn’t even want to reply but you felt like you had to. 
no don’t be sorry koshi! if anything i’m sorry i was just super frustrated in the moment and didn’t know what to do. i managed to pull something halfway decent together i think so it’s all okay now 
was it okay though? 
that was when you realized that things would never be the same. you’re his best friend and that’s simply it. you mean something to him, but not the same something that they mean to him. you couldn’t go to him when you help because then you’d be taking his time away from someone who wanted to feel that special meaning. it was a hard pill to swallow, for sure. but there were still several questions that lingered in the potential of what your relationship could be.
isn’t it possible to be both a best friend and a partner at the same time? you didn’t see any problem with it, so why couldn’t it be true? 
-
two weeks past and suga, your best friend, decided to let you in on some news. 
going up against all these powerhouse schools is definitely tough but it’ll help our team in the long run. we’re really amped to play seijoh soon but also i have an s/o now who can come and cheer us on 
WAIT you guys made it official?? when?
haha we’ve been official for like two weeks now 
oh well that’s great! 
(what the actual hell.)
months went by and you saw suga maybe two or three times. and only saw him, usually with the rest of the volleyball team or with rei and their friends. you texted now and then but it wasn’t the same. you had to accept that it wouldn’t be the same, so you did. you had a good group of friends who you spent more of your time with, as well as trying to focus as much as possible on school. entrance exams were coming up and you couldn’t let this be your downfall, even though you and suga had previously talked about possibly going to the same college together. but that wasn’t important anymore. 
you had your priorities and suga had his. 
which was the biggest reason why you decided not to go to the game against aoba johsai. you told him that you would try to make it, if schoolwork and college prep courses would lend you the chance. you were just trying to focus on yourself and work hard in on your own. you still texted him just to show that you still cared. 
sorry i couldn’t make it to the game! how did it go?
we lost :’(( we were so close too 
oh no :( i’m sorry kou. but i know you guys will get them next time!
he never replied, which only made you want to grow further from him. 
summer vacation rolled around and it was about a month out from suga’s birthday. a strange text appeared from someone you didn’t expect. 
Hey so I wanted to get manga for suga for his bday but I cannot for the life of me remember which ones he has so can you try to casually ask him which ones he has? like the next time you guys talk about manga or something?
you felt weird that they were asking for your help, considering that they now spent more time with him than you did. but you weren’t going to completely ignore them either.
to be honest we haven’t talked a whole lot lately but i’ll try to subtly ask him 
Okay awesome thanks!
what were you thinking of getting him?
Deathnote lol nothing original
hmm maybe the new aot volume? 
Yeah, that’s a good one. Or maybe BNHA
yeah that too! do you still want me to ask him? 
Yeah could you? 
yeah sure!
Yay thanks! 
okay i’ll let you know what i find out
going through with this was even worse. if it were you, you’d take him to see his favorite artist in concert. he wasn’t never much of a concert guy but he would talk about how badly he wanted to go see them live. or a more lowkey and personal option would be to customize a crewneck for him. you had a knack for designing and decorating plain-looking clothes and he would try to do it himself but would always remark how much better yours always turned out. 
but this time you’re simply the messenger and wouldn’t get that chance to get him something you know he’d love. not that he wouldn’t like manga, but it just seemed like they weren’t putting a ton of thought into it. maybe you couldn’t blame them though, it had only been a few months that they had been dating. 
that conversation honestly seemed more out-of-the-blue than anything, but you were hoping that suga would be as oblivious as ever. it didn’t even matter in the end because he never even answered your subtle way of asking. you didn’t feel like double texting because a.) you hadn’t done that in months and b.) it seemed too obvious. 
in the end, you did all that you could do and told rei that you had no information to provide, even after a week had passed. that was your, now monthly, interaction with suga that month. 
but it wasn’t like you weren’t thinking about him. 
your interactions moved from text to strictly snapchat, where you would hold streaks for considerable amounts of time. but every time you seemed to break contact with him, you found yourself blaming them. but you couldn’t blame them. they were with him, dating him. they had a right to claim a spot by his side. you had learned to pull back and just live your life. 
but life didn’t want you to have a great time either. albeit through a simple app like snapchat, he was the one asking you if you were okay. at this point, you would probably just deflect but somehow, you found yourself telling him about how you didn’t do so well on your entrance exams, despite having done what you could to prepare for them. you just thought you were so focused to do well, but maybe it was too much focus. you told him it would be alright. another notification came through.
snapchat from sugar wara  
you opened it to a selfie of him, one that was angled upwards to position him looking right up into the camera, his wide hazel eyes being the centerpiece of the photo. the caption simply said, “promise?”
and that was when it happened. you felt something different in your heart like it was knocked around in your chest. you smiled at the simple response and replied, “yeah i promise!!” 
it felt strange, but you finally admitted it, 
you were in love with koshi sugawara. 
timing was, without a doubt, a demise in all of your previous relationship endeavors. you could never seem to get that part right, also coming in too fast or not knowing if you should wait. you had only hoped that someone you liked would like you just as much. so catching feelings for someone, strong feelings at that, was not part of your current life plans. let alone with suga, someone you were, at one point, extremely close to. 
you know so much about him and what scared you was that your confession would be the only one that could mess up whatever relationship you had left with him. why couldn’t you just enjoy where you stood with him? why should your selfish feeling have to get in the way? 
stupid was an understatement as you how you felt. he was still dating rei, and that didn’t look like it was going to end anytime soon. you didn’t know what to do or how to cope. you can fight your feelings, but they can’t change right away. and for as long as you’ve known suga, the history you’ve shared with him, it seemed like these feelings weren’t leaving anytime soon. 
you spent the next couple of weeks trying to get everything out, while simultaneously trying to forget. you vented about it to your friends and while most of them offered advice, you stuck with just remaining stagnant. one of them suggested that you confess to him but that was what you feared most: that your feeling would become so overwhelming that you had to do something impulsive to relieve them. he would probably never talk to you again. there was nothing you could do. he was in a relationship with someone he really likes. why would you try to ruin that for him? 
you didn’t go to any of the preliminaries, mostly because of prep courses and trying to prepare for the next round of entrance exams. you still kept up with suga and saw that they won in the game against seijoh and we now going to the finals against shiratorizawa. you swiped up on his story and typed a simple, “omg that's amazing!! see I knew you guys could do it.” you continue to scroll through your phone, not thinking that much about it until a notification popped up.
sugar wara is typing…
snapchat from sugar wara
yeah it was great! Wish you could have been here though :(
me too! college prep courses seem to have been taking up all my time :P
is there any chance that you could try to find time to come to finals? 
we've been trying to get all the support that we can
plus it would be nice to see a familiar face there :) 
yeah i'll see what i can do to try to be there!
 wymd a familiar face? hasn't rei been going to the prelims?
they have been but we actually broke up about two weeks ago
i sort of initiated it but i promise it's okay
your eyes almost fell out of your head when you read that 2 weeks ago you were talking about how you were in love with him and were and decided to accept that it wasn't going to happen. now you're hearing that at the same time they had broken up? It seemed odd and... bittersweet. 
oh no i'm sorry kou :(
you bit your lip as you couldn't help but ask.
wdym you initiated it tho?
so kageyama has been killing it as our setter especially with his quick attack move with hinata 
rei was worried that i wasn't being treated fairly bc i'm a senior and vice-captain and all that. i tried to reassure them that i just want to see our team thrive and go to nationals but they still were worried about it and would talk about how they would go to games and never see me play once
it's been hard especially that it happened right before the seijoh game and now before finals
yeah i'm sure it's been difficult 
but don't beat yourself don't blame yourself so much! the team needs your support just as much as it needs players. nobody could replace that :)
thanks y/n :) i appreciate you so much
although you thought you would be happy, you can’t help but still feel weird about this whole thing. you felt like the ball was in your court but your bum arm couldn’t receive it properly. your feelings for him had been strong and you felt like you had to pack them all the way so now it just felt wrong to let them flow out again. but now that there was no conflict of interest, did you have to hide your feelings? 
it was more complicated than it was before. you didn't know how anything was going to play out at all and that kinda scared you. you did know one thing though, and that was how to be a loyal friend to suga because that's all you ever were from the start and that's what you could and would be for the future.
-
it was the friday before the finals game. 
you decided to stay late after school to maximize your focus on studying. it seemed to have worked because the sun was going down before you knew it. you wanted to get ahead on work so you could go to the game tomorrow. you and suga had been talking more recently and while it wasn’t as much as it used to be, it was more than it had been in the past several months. 
you quickly gathered up your things and left school for the night. the pretty orange and pink sky lit your way home through the quiet town and into the residential parts. at that point, the dark had met and light and-
“y/n! hey, wait!”
you turned to see none other than suga, jogging up behind you to catch up. you smiled at his sudden presence, looking past him to see the small group of the rest of the team. 
“hey! funny seeing you here.”
“yeah, haha,” he chuckled, catching his breath from suddenly running a considerable distance. “are you going home?”
“yeah.”
“can i walk with you?”
“of course.”
great! so i’m guessing you stayed late at school? you’re still wearing your uniform.”
“oh, yeah,” you affirmed, looking down at your monotonous outfit. “i just wanted to be all caught up on work and studying so i could go to the game tomorrow.”
“oh, yeah? that’s good to hear! yeah, we were-- we just had a late practice. coach left before us but we wanted to stay a little longer.”
“i hope you guys win tomorrow, it seems like you’ve been working really hard.”
“yeah, i hope so too. we’ve come a long way in such a short amount of time, it just feels like we can’t stop now.” 
you nodded in agreement. there was a beat of silence just then, and while it wasn’t awkward, it felt like something was lingering in the air.
“so, um,” he spoke up after several seconds. his eyes met yours and you felt that pang in your chest again, quickly looking away. “it’s been a while, huh?”
“yeah. yeah, it has, i guess,” you laughed lightly. you reached the intersection with the never-ending blinking stoplight and you turned around to face him.
“but i guess i’ll see you tomorrow, right?”
“yeah. yeah!”
“okay, get some sleep. goodnight.”
he nodded and you grinned at him before turning around to walk the rest of the way home until his voice stopped you again.
“hey, y/n?”
“yeah, kou?”
he looked down and all around, anywhere but your face.
“i, um, i know things have been kinda weird between for a while but it’s made me realize that i missed you, a lot.”
“yeah, i missed you, too.”
“but it’s also made me realize that i enjoy spending time with you and talking to you. like, even now, just talking to you makes me feel-- i don’t know. it makes me feel at ease like i’m home. and i’d really like to spend more time with you because i, um, i really like you.”
“you, you what?”
“i really like you, sugar.”
in all the ways you had imagined this happening, you never thought that you would feel your face fall to a frown, your heart beating in your ears. something just didn’t sit right with you about it.
“i, i, i don’t know what to say...”
“it’s okay if you don’t! i just wanted to tell you.”
“but why are you telling me this now?”
“do you-- do you not feel the same?”
“no. no! i’ve been wanting to hear you say something like that for so long, it’s just. you broke up with rei not too long ago and-- i don’t know. something isn’t right about it.” you shook your head, unsure of what you were trying to say.
“it’s how i feel,” he shrugged. “i just wanted to tell you and have a good feeling to hold onto to make tomorrow a little easier.”
you looked at him in disbelief.
“oh, so you think you can confess all that to me right before this big game and that i’ll automatically reciprocate those feelings when you just broke up with someone not even a month ago? i’m not a second choice--”
“no, sugar, listen, that’s not how i meant it at all--”
“no sugawara.” those words made him go quiet instantly. you never used his full name, there was always some sort of play on it, so this was serious. 
“maybe that’s not how you meant it, but that’s how i’m taking it. i’ve been wanting to tell you for so long how i felt but i wanted to respect your feelings so i didn’t. so please, respect mine. i’m not the good luck charm that you can just confess to and expect that it’ll all be okay. this just isn’t right. i’m sorry, koshi. 
your voice broke as his name left your lips, tears beginning to fall. you didn’t even give him a chance to respond, a rush of adrenaline telling you to quickly turn and get out of there. 
-
you didn’t get much sleep that night. 
it was hard not to think about your conflicted feelings over suga’s confession. you had hoped for that moment for a long time but the timing simply wasn’t right. how funny and ironic is that? you thought your timing was off. maybe you were meant for each other in that way. you couldn’t help but let your feelings get the best of you and you were beginning to become what you feared most from him. you thought he would immediately reject you and make you feel bad about ever saying anything about how you felt. but the roles are reversed and that was the part that blindsided you the most. 
you didn’t think that how you reacted was wrong but you also couldn’t imagine how he was feeling right now. he just wanted to feel good right before a big game but that backfired right in his face. some might call it karma, but part of you thought he didn’t deserve it. 
the pressure was setting in as the game went into the fifth and final set. what made it worse was kageyama wouldn’t be starting that set, his nose bleeding from the spike he took to the face. suga was genuinely thrilled to be a teacher, a mentor, and a support system for his fellow teammates. he didn’t mind that another, rather talented, setter had joined the team because that meant he wouldn’t have to worry about passing the position over to someone who he thought didn’t deserve it. 
he almost forgot he was actually a player on the team when everyone looked to him to fill in. this was his moment and it just happened to be at the most overwhelming part of this game. Both teams were tired while simultaneously running on pure adrenaline to see who was going to come out on top. 
suga had an opportunity, not only to start the set but be the trailblazer for their success. 
the nerves set in as he held up the paddle with the number nine on it, kageyama holding it up with him for a moment. It was symbolic in a way. suga always thought he’d be passing the baton to him, his successor as karasuno’s official setter, but this felt just as sentimental. Suga hadn’t played much this season but he got to watch the team grow into something that it once was: something great. They’ve had their share of loss and strife but it finally seemed like they had come so far and the only direction they can go is up. 
the nerves set in as he looked around, anywhere to ease them. His eyes automatically went to the team banner, black with the simple word ‘fly’ written over it, where all the school and their supporters were watching. he went down the line quickly but the wave of a hand caught his eye. his eyes shifted back and felt that familiar grin on him.
it was you. 
“c’mon suga! You can do it!”
and so he did. 
once the final ball hit the ground, the room was quiet with shock. it had been tight for most of the game but no one really expected this outcome. they were going to nationals. daichi, suga, and asahi embraced, taking in the satisfying feeling of victory. 
after the awards ceremony, you were buzzing with excitement for them, trying to calmly follow the rest of the crowd out of the gym. you could tell they were somewhere along the hallway as another crowd formed to congratulate the winning team. you weaved in and out of it, even getting on your toes to see if you could spot a familiar head of gray hair. 
you finally caught a glance at him from afar, his smile growing as his eyes locked onto yours.
“y/n!”
you mimicked his expression and found your feet moving quicker than your brain could process. he put in the same amount of haste to meet you in the middle. you both stopped at about an arm’s length away from each other. his flushed cheeks and slightly red but glistening eyes held your smile as you decided to speak first. 
“hey, kou.”
“hey, sugar.”
another minute couldn’t be wasted as you finally crashed into one another. it felt better to hold somebody that you knew and genuinely loved. you could be sure that he felt the same way as he held your body tightly against him. 
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heyo haikyuu night! send any requests right here..
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sunshinetoshi · 4 years ago
Note
hand over your human rights.
ok let's start from the very beginning. i was writing iwa angst. i lost motivation. opened tumblr to gather some motivation. scrolled and pt 5 was the second post on my dash. the way i screeched pls. i read till the part where oikawa asked if they can get back together. i cried. left to shower. cried in shower for like 20 minutes before going to play genshin. i came back. read it all over again and i'm crying while writing this.
IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL LET ME INHALE AMAYA I'VE NEVER READ SOMETHING SO PAINFUL YET SO AMAZING
i'd be lying if i said i hoped for a happy ending 🧍‍♀️but the ending you gave? that was realistic. i think a realistic ending is better than a happy ending. i've read a lot of cheating fics, trust me as an angst lover, no fics deliver angst the way cheating ones do. and when i read the part where oikawa asked for another chance? i knew where it was going
hate me for saying this but my mind really went "not this shit again." because i know how it goes in stories. they ask for another chance, the reader knows they're still in love, yada yada and they're back as if nothing happened. i don't hate that, but if it were me, i won't get back to someone who cheated on me.
but then i read the part where the reader tells about their insecurities. the ones questioning the probability that oikawa won't cheat again while in Argentina. anD LET ME TELL YOU THE WAY I GASPED AND THEN A REALLY BIG SMILE TOOK OVER MY FACE LIKE— you never fail to surprise me, amaya :>
those words, about insecurities and not cheating again, those are the only thing on ones mind when someone who cheated on them asks them to get back together. i know that's not easy to say, it can either lead to a healthy conversation or build even higher walls but i love how to decided to put it in the story and give it an ending that seemed realistic. remember the other ask i sent you about it? the one where you said that you try to put yourself in that situation? it's hard to do that, specially when you're writing angst.
and i really see that you wrote this whole fic from yours and the readers' perspective and not just for the happy or the sad endings. when i say i relate to every word you wrote, i mean it. no one cheated on me, of course, but those are some words that come to my mind if someone who cheated on me asked me to get back together with them
oKAY ENOUGH WITH THE EMOTIONAL THINGS, THIS ASK IS GETTING VERY VERY LONG I'M SORRY. I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT IT WAS WORTH ALL THE WAIT. FOUR MONTHS, I GUESS? I REMEMBER YOU POSTING THE FOURTH PART AROUND THE TIME I JOINED TUMBLR LOL GOD I AVOIDED THE FIC FOR SO LONG BECAUSE I KNEW IT WON'T END WELL. I HATE MYSELF FOR THAT >///<
overall, i loved it. i'll read it again, i just know i would because it's really amazing. i think this gives you enough reasons for why i look up to you. you're just amazing. aND WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT THIS FIC IS GIVING ME IDEAS FOR AN OIKAWA SMAU 💀
anyway, i hope you're doing well. those 5.1k words were some of the best i've ever read and i love them a lot. please take care of yourself, stay hydrated, give yourself a treat because you did great. i love you <3
i s w e a r if tumblr ate this 🗡
if t*mblr ate this amazing message before i was able to respond i'd fight em 🤺🤺 ajdghss
okay wait i will treasure this ask forever and ever i'm screaming!! fr when i read this my smile kept growing and growing and i was near tears bc of this (also you made me want to REREAD my own work even tho i JUST proofread it and posted it HAHAHA the power you hold). but wow this whole ask has my heart so so much
i saw you posted the iwa angst!! it's saved to my drafts and i'm excited to read it!! and PLS not me making you cry oh no. free hugs for the tears i made you shed ahh </33
i'm so happy to hear your thoughts on this omg!! i think the whole 'if it were me, i wouldn't go back if they cheated' is really the struggle that was on my mind from the second i started this entire series. i kept going back and forth but i know i personally wouldn't or couldn't go back if someone did that to me. at the same time i struggled between a happy or sad ending so i kept going back and forth until i eventually realized that just like how the reader had to stick to their beliefs i felt i needed to do the same. that's why i really really appreciate that this shone through to you wow my heart.
honestly i think the part with the insecurities was one of my favorites especially in contrast to the things they miss and how much they still wanted to be with him idk something about it made me tear up while writing akhdjshdhd. i cried a lot writing this series tbh EYE-
i really wanted to get at the struggle of a real cheating situation even if i too have never been cheated on lmao so being able to convey this even a little is really making my heart do cartwheels oooo
wait don't apologize for the length i loved this so so much. IT WAS WORTH THE WAIT?? seriously such a high compliment wahh. dont worry i would've done the same like i love angst but sometimes my heart cant handle it
you're just so sweet oh my goodness thank you so much for your words. i am blown away by the support you give me. AND AN OIKAWA SMAU?? INSPIRED BY MY FIC?? i am ascending 😩😩 if you do decide to work on this i will be a puddle of tears on the floor and will support the heck out of it. pls just you mentioning that is an honor but no pressure to do it bb you write what you want to heheh <33
that last paragraph is just so nice i can't do this 💓💓 tysm bb ily
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buckys-other-punk · 7 years ago
Text
Say (All I Need) Jealous Part 6.1
Bucky x Reader, (slight) Steve x Reader
Warnings: angst (if you call it that), jealousy, cuss words, mentions of smut (not really but ehh) and idk what else
Word Count: 3806 (w/o lyrics)
Song inspiration: “Say (All I Need)” One Republic (wow finally not a NJ song) I also re-ordered the lyrics to make it flow better with the story.
A/N: Finally Part 6! I liked @lostinthoughtsandfeelings’ comment where she suggested to show a bit more backstory of how the reader chose Bucky over Steve and why (kinda..not really sorry). So part 6 is gonna have 2 parts as you can tell from the title. This part is the Reader’s POV and the second is going to be Steve’s. Don’t mind any of my mistakes this took a while to write and I really don’t wanna look over this lol. If you wanna be tagged let me know and feedback is very much appreciated! Hope its good and you guys like it!
Tags: @caplansteverogers @hollycornish @carabarnes13@ohmyjack @sebtheromanianprince @flirtswithdanger @aquabrie @amour-quinn @incoherent-smiles-deactivated @rocketqueeens @anbrax5553 @lloeppky @shayla-markele @pdy93 @chrys-1029 @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @dani-si @httpmcrvel @101killer @sarahp879
tags with this means they didn’t work sorry :(
=============================================== *Flashback to 5 years ago*
Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
You and Bucky have been dating for about 3 months now. Nothing that serious you thought, since your relationship with Bucky was still fresh…well besides the 24 hour sex. You’ve been working on a mission with Nat and Clint for about a month and just arrived back to the tower. Bucky was with Bruce to make improvements for his arm.
“Hey F.R.I.D.A.Y., Do you know where Bucky is?” you asked aloud.
“Yes Ms. (Y/L/N), Bucky is in the lab with Dr. Banner. Would you like me yo summon him for you?” F.R.I.D.A.Y asked.
“No it’s fine F.R.I.D.A.Y. I’ll just go there.” you replied. As you walked near the lab you heard voices talking. Entering the lab Bucky was on an exam table and Bruce looking over his metal arm. They were video chatting with Tony about whatever. Tony was the first to notice you entrance.
“Agent (Y/L/N).” Tony said calmly looking your way. The other two both turned in your direction.
Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You’re doing your best dance,
Your best look
You’re praying that you make it
“(Y/N), I have to talk to you.” Bucky said sternly. You were taken back by his tone and your small smile went away. You nodded as he directed you to the living room area.
“What’s wrong Bucky? You’re scaring me.” you said quietly.
“I have to go on a mission (Y/N).” he said sadly.
“Ok, how long are you going to be gone for?” you asked.
“That’s the thing, (Y/N). Umm…I’m going to be gone for 9 months.” he paused. “Tony said he wanted me and Banner to go with him to England to get some leads on HYDRA.”
“Well, why can’t I go with you guys?” you asked.
“I’m sorry (Y/N). Tony said he just wanted us three to go.” he sighed. “(Y/N), I don’t know if I could do a long distance relationship. I know we’ve been dating for 3 months and it has been great, but…” Bucky hesitated, “I think we just need a break.” he avoided eye contact through his whole plea. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). I gotta get packing.” he sighed as he rushed out of the lab.
Well, bless my soul
You’re a lonely soul
‘Cause you won’t let go
Of anything you hold
Bucky began to pack up for the mission. He felt guilty for putting an end to your guys’ relationship. When he finished packing up his stuff and exited his room. As he began to walk away from his room he passed your door. He set down his suitcase and stood at the closed door. He looked a the door and raised his hand about to knock. He paused and though “Maybe she’s mad at me…I shouldn’t say anything to hurt her even more.” He stepped away from your door and began to walk towards the elevators.
Meanwhile, you sat in your room thinking as tears began to fall down your face. “Why the hell are you feeling sad (Y/N). It was bound to happen. You are a strong independent woman, fuck him for ending your relationship.” you said to yourself as you took a deep breath and wiped away the tears. You exited your room seeing the elevator doors close.
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest my head
About 2 months Bucky left you were trying to forget about the whole breakup situation and trained to keep your mind out of the gutter. You were throwing punches at a punching bag while Sam held the back of it to keep it from moving around.
“So, (Y/N) I heard you are single again.” he said with a devilish smirk. You happily scoffed at his remark and nodded yes. “I was wondering if you wanna go out sometime?” he asked.
“I’m very flattered Sam, but I’m just trying to recover and find myself.” you said kindly. He nodded understanding and his shoulder slumped a bit. “But hey, we could go and get a drink sometime. Maybe find you a girl.” you said winking at Sam.
He laughed. “Yeah, I like that. Hey who knows you could probably be a better wingman than Steve and Bucky combined. I mean your a woman and you know how other women think.” he said happily. You both finished your training and began to exit the gym. As you left you waved Sam goodbye as you headed to the kitchen to get a snack. When you walked into the kitchen Steve was there making breakfast. It looked like he just came back from a jog.
“Hey soldier. What you making there?” you asked Steve. He turned around smiling at you showing you his breakfast.
“Hey (Y/N), oh, I uh got some fruit from the farmers market that’s near here and decided they would go good with some yogurt. I still got some leftover fruits. You want me to make you some?” he asked you politely.
You shook your head no and said “Nah, its fine I’ll just take some of yours.” You smiled as you got a spoon and dipped it into his yogurt bowl. He looked at you in shock like you kicked a innocent dog or cat. You were always super friendly with Steve. You also sorta kinda had a small crush on him when you first started working with the Avengers, but your crush on him dialed down when you began to date Bucky. Now that Bucky ended his relationship a few months ago you’ve began to notice how kind Steve was to you. As you ate your spoonful of yogurt and fruit Steve copied you and began to eat.
“So, (Y/N), how was training with Sam?” he asked you.
You chuckled and said “He’s ok, but I think I’m gonna ask Nat to spar with me again. I feel bad for kicking Sam’s ass for the past couple of days.”
“Well, I’m kinda glad I get my jogging buddy back.” he laughed. You chuckled at his comment and put your spoon in the sink. “You know I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime. I feel like I never see you during the day, you’re always so busy.” he said as you walked to the fridge to get a bottle of water.
“Yeah, I’d like that Steve.” you said smiling.
Well, bless my soul
You’re a lonely soul
'Cause you won’t let go
Of anything you hold
*Later that evening*
You walked up to Steve’s room and knocked on his door. He opened his door slightly and realizing that it was you he open his door wide. “(Y/N)? What are you doing here?” he asked you and looking at what you were wearing. “What are you wearing? I-I mean it’s beautiful and you look gorgeous and-” you cut Steve off by holding you hand up.
“Steve, you said you wanted to go out…So why not now? We could go get some food from that one fancy restaurant that Tony always bugs us all about. I also swiped Tony’s mastercard from him before he left.” you said with a smile. Steve chuckled at your comment and motioned for you to enter his room.
“I’ll get dressed. You can wait in here.” he said. You looked around his room and everything was tidy and clean. Walking to his desk and seeing a small notepad with a list of things. As you read over the list you smiled taking note that one day you would binge watch Star Wars with Steve. Steve came out of his bathroom with his matching navy blue suit. You stared at Steve for what felt like the longest time. “Is this ok?” he asked you shyly.
“Oh my god! Steve you look awesome!” you said happily. “Let’s go and spend Tony’s money” you laughed.
“Alright let’s go.” Steve said happily.
*Later at the restaurant*
After you and Steve were close to finishing your food you suggested something. “So Steve, why don’t we go the the club around the corner. You know find yourself a girl. We could bring Sam with us too, apparently I’m his wingwoman.” you chuckled as you “paid” for the food.
Steve nodded and pulled out his phone. “I guess I should call Sam then.” he laughed.
The waiter returned with Tony’s card and asked “I’ve noticed that Mr. Stark isn’t here. May I ask why or how you have his card or should I call over my manager?” You shook your head no.
“Oh, no I’m sorry. I’m Tony’s daughter (Y/N) and he gave me his card for the weekend. So I decided to go out to dinner with my boyfriend.” you lied sounding fake concerned. “Please don’t call your manager over, my dad would kill me if he knew I’m dating someone who he doesn’t know. My dad is very strict.” you added to the lie. The waiter nodded.
“I’m sorry miss. I didn’t know Mr. Stark had a daughter. Let me get you our speciality chocolate cake of course on the house.” he apologized scurrying to the kitchen. You looked over at Steve smiling.
“Well, Ms. Stark I’m glad to be your unknown boyfriend.” he chuckled.
“Hey, at least we got free dessert!” you said giddy. The waiter came back with the cake and two forks. You and Steve shared the cake and once you finished you both exited the restaurant with you arms linked. “Oh is Sam going to be joining us?” you asked Steve and he nodded yes. As the two of you arrived at the club Sam was already in the line waiting for you guys. He waved over at you and Steve. “Hey Sam, I guess your wingwoman came to the rescue afterall.” you laughed and so did he.
“Yeah, I’m actually happy that you are gonna help me out. Seeing that you are busy with someone else.” he whispered at you so Steve wouldn’t hear. You shoved him away. “Hey, you know it’s true. The only thing is I wish this fucking line would move.” he yelled over the crowd. You and Steve laughed at him. You looked at the bounce of the club recognizing the face.
“Follow me guys.” you said leading the two gentlemen to the front of the line. “Henry? Is that you? Oh my god it is!!” you smiled and so did the bouncer.
“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) as I like and breathe! Long time no see girl!” he replied in a friendly tone. Henry was a super buff guy (like most bouncers of the bouncers that worked there), but he was a very nice person when you get to know him. “Who do you got here? Getting into trouble again I suppose?” he added and you blushed.
“Oh no, these two are my friends. I’m their wingwoman for the night.” you said. “Do you think you could let an old friend in?” you asked.
“Uhhh,” he paused looking at you, but you gave him your best puppy dog eyes and he sighed, “yeah you can go in. Just don’t tell my boss.” he winked at you pulling moving aside to let you guys in. You smiled and kissed his cheek and you lead both Steve and Sam into the club and up to the bar.
“What just happened?” Sam asked and Steve nodded in agreement. You waved the bartender over ordering a whiskey.
“Oh you mean Henry?” you asked the pair and the nodded. “Well we use to work together.” you said calmly.
“Umm, where?” Sam asked.
“Here.” you said and the two had a questioned look. “I was the person who would kick people out if they became to rowdy and if they would decline or ever so much as touch me I would beat their ass (a/n: basically like Ronda Rousey in Expendables 3).” you said confidently smirking as the bartender gave you your drink and you downed it. You ordered another and they two men looked at you.
“Huh, that kinda explains your aggressiveness.” Steve said quietly, but you heard him and shoved him.
“HEY! I am not aggressive!” you yelled and the two laughed at your assertiveness. “Whatever! Sam did you find some poor girl that has to listen to you talk about how great you are?” you asked for friend.
“Ouch, but yeah that girl over there with the black dress.” he pointed at a table near the bodies of dancing people. You nodded taking note and downing your second drink, you stood up from your chair and began to walk near the girl. Sam and Steve saw you talking to the girl. “She better do me right.” Sam said to Steve and he chuckled. As you were talking to the girl the guys both ordered drinks from the bartender. You began to walk back you winked at Sam. Then the girl looked over and began to walk towards Sam. “Hello there.” Sam said confidently and she giggled. She took his hand and brought him to the other dancing bodies.
“What did you say to her?” Steve asked as he sipped his drink.
“Oh I just said he was an Avenger and saves the world.” you replied smiling ordering yet another drink. The rest of the night was a blur, but you knew that you went home with someone.
*Early in the Morning*
You woke up with an excruciating headache. You groaned you felt something heavy around your small frame. As you turned you saw the person who was next to you. Steve Fucking Rogers. You were mentally screaming. Slowly moving his hand off your stomach you got of his bed and tried to find you clothes. They were scattered everywhere. “Damn, I guess we had a good time.” you said in your mind. Even though you didn’t really remember the sex all, you remembered was how much you liked it and being with Steve. Right when you got your dress off of the ground Steve noticed the absence of your presence in the bed.
“Rushing to get out of here?” Steve asked quietly and ashamed. You looked up at him and sighed.
“I’m sorry I’m rushing, but I just got out of a relationship and it’s your best friend for fucks sake. I just need some time to think. I’m sorry Steve.” you said sadly as you walked up to him and kissed his cheek. You quickly got your belongings and rushed out of his room running into your room. You dropped everything as you closed your door and with your back against the door you slid down into a sitting position. “What the fuck did I just do.” you said to yourself.
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing’s turned out how you wanted
*Later that Afternoon*
“Maria, I need  to clear my head. Can you please help me?” you sighed. She nodded at you a concerning look.
“What’s wrong (Y/N)?” she asked. “And what are you wearing!?!” she added pointing at your sweater. You looked down at your sweater.
“What? This? My nephew made this for me so back up.” you defended the ugly-ish sweater. “But I need your help.” You loved Maria she was your mentor when you first became an avenger and then the two of you became close friends.
“What is it?” she demanded and you sighed.
“I slept with Steve.” you said cowering a bit.
“Wait what? Nat owes me $20?” she snickered and you slapped her hand.
“Maria! Ugh, help me!!” you exclaimed and she laughed.
“Fine. How did this happen?” she asked you.
“We got drunk at a club and you know one thing led to another.” you replied.
“Damn, I wish that would happen to me.” she said silently so you wouldn’t hear, but you did. “Well what are your feelings towards Steve?” she asked another question.
“Steve is a sweetheart and is always nice to me.” you replied.
Maria nodded, “Ok, how do you feel about Bucky or should I say did you feel?” she asked you.
“When we were together he was great as well, but there was something different about him. Like good different. Even though he broke up with me which was stupid and I don’t understand why he did that still.” you said.
“Well then, who do you have more feelings for?” Maria asked you.
“I don’t know. They are both great guys, but I can’t choose.” you said sighing putting your head on the table with defeat.
“Well, I believe that you will make the right choice.” Maria said patting you shoulder. “Now let’s order you some food because I know that will cheer your up.” she added and you laughed agreeing.
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
You’ve been avoid Steve for days. You felt bad, but you were trying to escape the awkwardness. You’ve locked yourself in your room just thinking about what you should do. You sighed loudly and exited your room and walked to Steve’s room. You paused for a moment and right when you were about to knock on the door it opened quickly.
“Oh, (Y/N). Hi.” Steve said avoiding eye contact.
“Hey Steve.” you said. “We need to talk.” you continued walking past him and sitting on his make bed. He closed the door behind him and followed in your footsteps.
“You’re gonna talk about that night, right?” he asked you. As you looked at him you were about to cry, but you tried to keep it together.
“Yeah, I don’t think we should tell Bucky. I mean he’s your best friend for fucks sake, Steve.” you said keeping your calm and he nodded as he walked closer to you.
“Please tell you felt something when we were together for that short amount of time. Please (Y/N).” he said looking at you.
“I’m really sorry Steve, but I didn’t feel anything.” you lied. Of course you felt something. Steve was so sweet to you the entire night, but you felt like you cheated with Bucky (a/n: even tho he broke up witchu…i’m sorry for interrupting but like asdfghjkl).
“(Y/N), look into my eyes and say you didn’t feel anything.” he said grabbing you face forcing you to look at him.
“I didn’t feel anything.” you said sternly looking into the stupid, beautiful eyes. Steve has tears forming in his eyes and tried to hold yours back. You took his hands off of your face and slowly exited his room. “Just know Steve if something happened that night you met me things would be different.” you said as he exited his room closing the door. You had tears running down your face and walked to Maria’s room. She saw your state and hugged you as you sobbed into her shoulder.
(say) all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest my head  
*4 Months later*
Ever since your talk with Steve both of you were avoiding one another and everyone noticed, but didn’t say a word. It was hard to try and avoid one another, but whenever you did bump into one another you would have small talk. Both of you were slowly beginning to talk to one another, trying not to make it awkward.
Both you and Steve were talking in the kitchen as you both were eating lunch. Out of nowhere you both heard the elevator ding. You both looked to the doors opening an you saw the one and only James ‘Bucky’ Barnes. He exited the elevator, looked at the two of you and walked straight to his room. Both you and Steve looked at each other questionably. You got up walking to Bucky’s room and Steve was behind you. His door was closed. You knocked on it hoping he would open the door and luckily he did.
“Can we come in?” you asked and Steve behind you. He looked at the two of you and closed the door. Right when you were going to knock on the door again Steve stopped you.
“Let’s let him rest. He’s probably tired.” Steve said quietly and you nodded walking away.
*5 weeks later*
Bucky had been avoiding both you and Steve for the past weeks. You were on the couch binging some New Girl when Bucky came into the living room. He sat on the other side of the couch and began to watch with you. You looked over at him and he with you.
“We need to talk (Y/N).” he said. ‘That was never a good sign.’ you said to yourself. Your turned off the TV and showed Bucky your full attention. “I thought about what happened between us when I left for my mission.” he started and looked at your blank face nodding for him to continue. “I wanna tell you that I met someone in England and one thing led to another and we slept together.” he added.
“Why are you telling my this Bucky? You’re the one who broke up with me.” you said in reply.
“I know, but I wanted to tell you because a part of me felt like I cheated on you and it felt like I was being weighed down by all this guilt.” he paused. “And I kinda sorta said your name during sex with that girl.” he said looking down and you just laughed.
“Oh my god! That poor girl.” you said laughing. Bucky laughed at your comment as well.
“Yes well that didn’t last for long, but that wasn’t what I was thinking about for the past months.” he said and you nodded for him to continue. “I want to get back together with you. I know, I know before you stop me, I was wrong. I was stupid to break things up between us. We were great together and I regret everything. I missed you, I missed being with you, making you laugh and smile. I feel like I lost a part of me when I left you. I’m sorry (Y/N). Just know that I still love you and I’m sorry for what I did.” he finished sighing and about to get up from his seat. You stopped him and grabbed his face with you hands and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. Looking at his shocked blue-ish grey eyes, you smiled.
“I forgive you, Bucky.But I have to think before I give you my answer.” you said quietly and he nodded as he got up from his seat and exiting the living room.
“What the fuck am I going to do now?” you said to yourself with some tears in your eyes.
Do you know where the end is?
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say…
End of part 6!! I AM SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER!!I hoped you guys liked it and it wasn’t a let down. Also part 6.2 will be very interesting. Like always let me know what you want to see next, any suggestions and if you wanna be tagged in anything!
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plvuial · 8 years ago
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aaahh thank you for tagging me mayo @novafirst1 !!! i was gonna do this tomorrow but i can't sleep so *shrugs* Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions. 1. Coke or Pepsi: coke i guess? tbh i can't tell the difference 2. Disney or Dreamworks: hmm disney? mostly bc i can't even remember any dreamworks movies lmao 3. Coffee or Tea: definitely tea 4. Books or Movies: books,,,,but i'll watch a ghibli movie over a book any day 5. Windows or Mac: i mean i have a windows computer and all of my friends have mac sso,, gotta stay Loyal to the window 6. DC or Marvel: no idea sorry 7. X-Box or Playstation: no ,, idea,, sorry ,, 8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: nO,, ,idEA,,, ,,,, sORRY, , 9. Night Owl or Early Riser: ah i'm gonna have to go with early riser! idk 5am is a very strange atmosphere i like it ,, maybe it's just that i'm used to getting up early 10. Cards or Chess: i've played chess like twice and both times i was horrendous ,, but i do like playing cards!! esp scum *has intense flashbacks* 11. Chocolate or Vanilla: ooh i was gonna say chocolate but idk vanilla is nice too! depends on what kind of food tbh but i'm leaning towards vanilla 12. Vans or Converse: converse i don't even have vans 13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: lol wut 14. Fluff or Angst: both!! although i ,, only write fluff i Love the Pain 15. Beach or Forest: beach 16. Dogs or Cats: both!, 17. Clear Skies or Rain: i like bothhh 18. Cooking or Eating Out: idk cooking is p fun! also i'm broke 19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: i can't eat spicy food,, so mild,,,, (one time i was in my hometown and my parents said oh she can't eat spicy food so my relatives were like 'ok this and this aren't spicy!' so i was like nice! and ate it and iT WAS VERY SPICY my mouth was on fire) 20. Halloween/Samhain or Christmas/Yule/Solistice: um neither i guess? i haven't gone trick or treating in a long time...and we don't really celebrate christmas too much like we don't even put up a tree anymore lmao...but i guess christmas is nice...it's a very comforting time,,,and also presents are nice... 21. Would you rather be a little too hot or a little too cold: too cold 22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be: flight? or teleportation or smthn like that,, or like breathing underwater that'd be cool 23. Animation or Live Action: animation for sure 24. Paragon or Renegade: uh 25. Baths or Showers: shower? i guess 26. Team Cap or Team Ironman: tentatively team cap,,, i don't know much about either of them though 27. Fantasy or Sci Fi: ooohhhhh can i say both? i like both! 28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: nah m8 29. Youtube or Netflix: youtube.. i don't have netflix ! 30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: ugahH bOth !! both are very good in their own way i mean percy jackson,,, one of the first series i fell in love with (still will never get over leo and calypso man) but hp is such a classic 31. When you feel accomplished: good grades bc i'm. shallow. also during sports i play i guess? and when i make people smile/laugh i mean that's always a nice feeling 32. Star Wars or Star Trek: idk star trek so star wars 33. Paperback or Hardback: i like both! but hardback more lol 34. Horror or Rom-Com: i rlly like horror movies! not necessarily jumpscares or gore but more like,, psychological horror they creep me out but i rlly like the feeling for some reason? but like. preferably watching with someone else. ha. but romcoms are nice too i just sometimes find them,, kinda cheesy lol 35. TV Shows or Movies: uhhhhm probably movies 36. Favourite Animal: i don't have one i like Many 37. Favorite Genre of Music: pop for the most part lmao but it varies a lot 38. Least Favorite Book: hmm books where the main characters are ,,, bland. yeah u know the kind of books 39. Favourite Season: i like autumn! 40. Song that’s currently stuck in your head: ed sheeran - happier lmao speaking of which have u guys listened to his new album yet 41. What kind of pyjamas do you wear: um pajama shorts and a shirt? ya 42. If you could be any fictional character’s best friend, who’d you be: idk i,, like my friends atmmm (wow that was cheesy) but i think scorpius from cursed child is a Cool Guy that i would love to be friends with !!! 43. If you could choose one song to be played at your funeral, what would it be: idk lol 44. Smiling or Smirking: um smiling? idk i mean the word smirking is used all the time in books but what does it Really look like.? also smirking is like,, kinda mean isn't it 45. Harry Potter Movies or Books: def books but the movies are p great too! 46. Something you’re proud of: oh a lot of things...not so much proud but more like grateful for? yes a lot too many to name . gratitude and pride go hand in hadn't i think 47. Favorite Indian dish: idk like butter chicken? apparently it's not even an authentic indian dish lmao i'm sorry 48. Weirdest Ship/OTP/Pairing: idk?. there are a lot of rare pairs in hq i ship but i wouldn't call them weird 49. Weirdest Dream: once when i was 5 i dreamed my best friend came to my house in the middle of the night and started beating me up,, that dream has always stuck with me for some reason...i mean there are many more but they're,,, very confusing so 50. If you owned a star, what would you name it: if i owned one?.. idk,, like claire ,,, or smthn,,, is andromeda already a star name i think it is.. i don't think i would want to own a star they can't really be owned 51. Favorite Flower: i ,, don't know enough abt flowers to have a favourite ,, all i know is they look nice and smell nice sometimes! also taste nice like i remember in primary every one would stop and eat the nectar of honeysuckle flowers during cross country bc we always passed a hedge full of them but once i did it and there were fucjing ants inside it ,, it was a traumatic experience,,,i have not touched a honeysuckle flower since 52. Favorite Time Period: no idea !! sorry 53: um ,, idk if i have one like honestly i , don't know anything ever tbh you know what's fucked up the only thing u can ever be sure abt in the whole world is your own consciousness and everyone else could be a figment of your imagination and you literally never know so like what's the point of stupid ass crushes what's the meaning of life why are we here what are we doing like we're all just tiny specks of dust in an infinite universe what's our purpose i don't i think i need to go to bed now i'm kind of,, tired but thank you s much @novafirst1 it was v fun i , don't think i'm going t o tag anyone sorryyy but pls do it if u want to !!
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missthornbirds · 8 years ago
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fic recap 2016
thank you for the tag @hashtagartistlife​!
total number of completed stories: 8
total word count:
completed works? about 7,792 but if we count these guys...
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aka all the fics i am working on i totally swear--
then that brings me up to 16,297.
fandoms written in: lmao i’ve sold my soul to bleach and only bleach
looking back, did you expect to write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?
so basically my writing process this year has been to write like a mad woman during every break i have since, during the semester i’m so busy with school work. i’m actually really proud of myself for writing as much as i did! i’ve written some original stuff too that isn’t posted anywhere, so the amount of fanfic that i have managed to write definitely exceeded my expectations. the trash ending of bleach this year also helped fuel my writing with salt :)
what’s your own favorite story of the year?
“their places” is very near and dear to my heart because it was a piece that helped me nail down my characterization of rukia. other than that, i really like “summer thunder”, since it was my first ishihime fic and the beginning of my descent into true hell over this ship. i remember i wrote it around the beginning of the last arc, before we found out ishida wasn’t on the side of the quincies, and i was super disappointed that we weren’t getting an ishida arc revolving around his split loyalty to his friends and his blood. @.kubo what the fuck!!!! wasted potential!!!! coulda had good ishihime angst!!!!
did you take any writing risks this year?
lmao i tried my hand at writing nsfw.....which is that unfinished “lace” file up there but uhhh for completed works no i was p safe except for including post-686 adultery i guess??? i’ve kinda noticed that my fic writings have set formats that i’ve been struggling to break out of.
do you have any fanfic or profit goals for the new year?
break outta those damn formats! seriously, all my fics start off with a topic sentence, then kinda unnecessary description, and THEN we get to plot so i’m definitely gonna try to mix it up in 2017 (in my way too short breaks from school sigh)
i’m also aiming to finish all those fics of course but we’ll see how that goes idk
best story of the year?
uh...objectively speaking, my best writing might have come up in “to want” and “waning and waxing��. for both of those, the end vignettes came to me very clearly and i sort of structured those fics around getting to those bits of writing.
most popular story of the year?
“and the rain left” was by far my most popular of the year and wow :’/ i wonder :’/ why :’/ that would be :’//////
@.bleach thanks for fueling the entire ichiruki fandom with enough salt to rewrite 686 in 802850289280584202 different ways. truly a creative blessing
story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:
“the captain of the tenth division” i just...love matsumoto rangiku so much and i felt personally attacked by kubo never revealing her bankai bc I KNOW SHE HAS IT KUBO DON’T DO ME LIKE THIS. no i do not hate toshiro and hoped he’d die. i just think his death would have made this entire war so much more interesting (byakuya’s too btw)
tbh i don’t think any of my fics are “under-appreciated” but i think the fandom does have thirst for pairing-centric writing bc honestly? don’t we all
most fun story to write:
“and the rain left” was my coping mechanism when i heard that bleach, my long love of 7 fucking years, was ending, and i’m pretty fuckin sure i went through the 7 stages of grief while writing this damn thing. i put a lot of thought into this one honestly bc i wanted to get this conversation right so badly as a goodbye to my favorite manga. middle school megan shed some tears writing this tbh
story with the single sexiest moment:
LOL ok here’s a snippet from “lace”:
Ichigo pulls back from the heat suddenly, panting, staring at her from mere inches away. “Christ, Rukia,” he says, breathless, gaze roving her face, down her body, lingering where they still touch. His brown eyes flick back up to hers. “When’d you get so fucking sexy?” He slides his hand up her side to cup her breast again, staring at her nipple in something akin to awe as it perks up under his thumb.
THAT’S REALLY EMBARRASSING TO POST OMG--
otherwise, orihime and ishida fucked against the counter in “to want” sooo there’s that.
most sweet story:
“and the rain left” bc i really just want ichigo and rukia to cuddle on his bed while sunlight filters over them ok
”holy crap, thats wrong, even for you!” story:
UMMMMM NOBODY KNOWS THIS YET BUT i am currently working on a fic where unagiya ikumi (that’s ichigo’s freelance boss from the fullbring arc in case anyone forgot bc i damn sure did before i started committing this Sin) thinks ichigo is hot but is ultimately angsty bc he’s literally a 17yo kid but he’s also always shirtless and sweaty moving boxes around in her house.
meanwhile ikumi reminds ichigo of rukia so there’s angst about that and he lowkey has weird sexual feelings for her too and...do they bang? do they not? who knows!!! find out when i finish confessing my sins to a priest
story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters & most unintentionally telling story:
“to want” was primarily written in order for me to think long and hard about how ishihime and ichiruki work post-686. i have some other headcanons floating around about this, but this fic really helped me with the idea that ichigo and rukia’s relationship later on in life, when it finally does take a turn, leaves everyone hurt in some way, and maybe they’re not the good guys anymore just bc they’re in love. idk
hardest story to write:
fuckin “waning and waxing” had to be pulled outta my ass for like the first half of it bc i wanted to frame the whole thing around the ending. i like how i came out overall, but i’m still not quite happy with how it begins.
biggest disappointment:
not actually finishing all my bleach fics before bleach itself ended. i really wanted to but school started up again the week 686 came out, so i didn’t have time to properly Angst all over a word document
biggest surprise:
lmao that i still managed to finish 8 fics this year regardless! for real that’s a small number compared to other people but i have always been a suuuuuuuuuuuper slow writer (a 3 page short story once took me 2 years to finish. i am constantly in pain.) so 8? 8?! i applaud myself.
imma tag @clrtsycat!
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