#WINE TOTALLY SPIKES THE PUNCH

[unfilteredaj]

Valentines Day:

Watchmen (Rorschach + The Comedian 2 OC!)

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(A/N: Inspired by @caddy-crystal-queen ‘s AMAZING Valentines board she made for me as part of her Valentines challenge! Also I put a lot of references to non-watchmen related things in this one… see if you can spot them! Also ‘Writing a character accurate to cannon’ is not a thing I know how to do lmao.)

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It was Valentine’s day. Rorschach had noticed the spike in romantic and sexual activity around New York at night, and the abundance of red and pink in the store windows, but he had to admit, he hated it all. When you were shoved off by your so called team mates so they could all partake in the glorification of sexual activity in the name of Romance, it was hard to be in a good mood. Even if good moods had been a dime a dozen lately. He suspected it had something to do with…

The knock on his apartment door tore Rorschach from his mindless shifting through papers that could help with his most recent case. He grumbled to himself, fully prepared to punch a flower or chocolate salesperson.

His anger subsided when he saw who it actually was.

“Comedian.” He said, a tone of ease coming over him in their presence.

“Second Generation, at your service. Better, Smarter…” The Comedian, as usual, grinned.

“Crazier.” Rorschach flashed a small smile of his own. “Come in.”

It still felt odd to have a team mate in his apartment, but they were an exception. Not even Daniel knew where Rorschach lived. But The second Comedian got his mission. It just felt right that they knew where to find each other.

Comedian flopped down on the couch, boots carefully perched so they didn’t touch the fabric.

“‘S Valentine’s Day. Everyone’s doing… stuff. You’re not?” Rory asked.

“Trust me I don’t have anywhere to be. It looks like you had a steamy night planned with your evidence files there.”

“Sure. Was gonna drink some wine. Probably wake up in an alley with teeth in my pocket again.” Rorschach’s tone was serious, but the usual small kick to the bottom end of Comedian’s Bazooka indicated he was joking.

“Sound’s hot. But I’m hijacking your self isolation for today. We might not get the romance crap but I found this cool spot near the Hudson where we could drink and watch the fireworks. Mask up if you want. We’re going. No choice.” The Comedian’s eyes sparkled.

“Fine. Meet back here at 7.”

The Comedian grinned, heading back out to do whatever comedians did during the day.

….

Night came quickly, and The Comedian arrived, dressed in their usual attire, modeled mostly after their father’s costume. They paired it with a leather jacket and heart shaped backpack, in replacement of their usual one, shaped like a smiling face. They had their Bazooka slung lazily over their shoulder. They carried themself so much like Edward Blake sometimes it was uncanny.

“Nice backpack.” Rorschach said semi-sarcastically as they walked down the crowded streets.

The Comedian took a handgun from their belt, shooting pink paintballs at a couple getting a little too handsy.

“No PDA in public, folks. No one wants to see that shit.” They said. “I will paint your asses pink.”

“Paintball Pistol? Clever.”

Rorschach’s amusement was shown only by the shifting of ink blots across his face.

“I use it for non-violent situations. But mostly for fun.” Comedian grinned.

Rorschach paused by a vendor selling all different colors of rose, grabbing a single yellow one and paying for it.

The Comedian shared a knowing look with the vendor… she seemed familiar.

The vendor gave Comedian a sly grin and a thumbs up as they looked back.

“Didn’t take you for a flowers guy.” They smirked.

“For you. Busted a guy who worked as a gardener. Had lots of books about this stuff. Took them for evidence. Yellow. Friendship.” He basically shoved the flower at them.

They smiled, taking the rose and smelling it.

“I remember that… that guy was a total nightmare.” They chuckled at their own joke.

The pair found a relatively secluded spot overlooking the Hudson river, and Comedian took a large blanket out of their backpack, spreading it out on the ground. They sat, patting the spot next to them.

Rorschach gave them a look.

“Come on, Grumpy gills. Take a night to just have fun for once.” Comedian grinned.

“Can’t remember the last time I had fun.” Rory said truthfully, sitting. He was stiff, his posture strangely perfect.

The Comedian rummaged in their backpack again, producing a bottle of Red Wine and two takeout boxes from an Italian place they both liked.

“Well, my red haired amigo, tonight you have no choice.” Comedian took their mask off, feeling comfortable in the secluded area and trying to subtly encourage Rory to do the same. “I know you like that Little Italy place, so I got us some pasta before I got to your place.”

Rorschach paused for a long moment, and looked around. After seeing that the place really was miraculously almost barren, he took his hat and mask off.

“Thanks.” He muttered, neatly placing his hat and mask on the edge of the blanket. “‘S this a date?”

His tone was not one of malice, and he truly meant the question genuinely, but The Comedian’s face flushed all the same. After a wide eyed look of embarrassment, The Comedian looked down at their boots.

“I know you’re not the type… and I respect that… I just wanted to hang out…” They rambled.

Rorschach grabbed the bottle of wine and opened it, taking a long drink straight from the bottle.

“This is important to you. Not letting you do this sober. I know I can be difficult…” Now Rorschach, usually a man of few words, was rambling. “Don’t have to talk about it.”

“Thanks.” Comedian said, looking up again.

Rory passed them the bottle, and they chugged as much as one gulp could reasonably fit in their stomach.

As the pair ate their takeout Italian food, they watched various boats pulling into their spots for the fireworks.

Before they knew it, the two were bordering on tipsy, their stomachs full of good food and mediocre wine.

“Daniel says Laurie wants a real wedding. Asked if I’d be best man. Think it’ll last?”

Rorschach hated the idea of being a prop in something as odd as a wedding, but Daniel was one of his closest friends. He only tolerated Laurie because she was a good fighter, and a solid team mate. Not to mention the new Comedian’s half sister. He passed them the nearing half empty bottle.

“Probably. They seem to be really in love. Laurie asked me to be part of it. She can’t really figure out where to fit me in, though.” Comedian looked sad for a moment.

Rory gave them a playful shove, passing the bottle.

“Heh… You can be Piss-Ant of honor. Genderless, yet affective.”

Comedian almost choked as they took a swig. Rorschach had actually made a funny joke.

“The great Rory finally succumbs to the beauty of piss jokes. I have now seen it all.” Comedian laughed.

They passed the bottle around until it was empty, and the fireworks were beginning to start.

“This is nice.” Comedian was well on their way to being plastered. They leaned against Rorschach, their mind a blissful blur of pointless thoughts.

“Yeah….” Rorschach was trying to focus on the fireworks in the sky, but seeing them reflected off of The Comedian’s eyes somehow made them brighter. More fun.

Their time at Karnak, the way Comedian kept Manhattan from killing him, the way Comedian always had put the mission first, even before their own feelings, and never pressed him, all made him realize how much they understood him. Really, and truly, understood him like no one, not even Daniel had before.

Comedian looked back at him, a cheshire grin on their face.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No one understands me. They think I’m a sociopath. But you understand.” Rorschach said.

His voice was contemplative, and soft. It was strange coming from him.

“Rory I think you’re drunk.” The Comedian’s heart ached, but they smiled.

Rorschach was an enigma to everyone around him. But The Comedian understood. He liked things a certain way, and marched to his own drum. Marching alone was lonely, but Rorschach wasn’t the type of person to let loneliness keep him from being himself.

“No. Maybe…. Doesn’t matter. Listen. I don’t want to be alone. You make things less dull. Less depressing. Since you found me that night …” Rorschach trailed off, waving away his scattered thought. “You…you’re important to me. I don’t know how to… accept that.”

His eyes were glued on the fireworks still going off in the sky.

The Comedian slid closer to him, leaning their head on his shoulder, and looping their fingers together.

“Just… be here. With me. Right now. That’s a start.”

[cowboy-anon]

Apple party headcanon: Wine spikes the punch. Radish and Watermelon ditch the party and go destroy capitalism. Lettuce tries to teach Apple, Orange, and Banana how to do a pushup. Tree gets drunk on the spiked punch and goes around saying "I am Troot" to everyone. Orange and Banana play Fruit Ninja. Lettuce gets mad at Wine for spiking the punch, but Apple breaks the fight by making them watch an Arthur episode about healthy coping mechanisms. The party ends with a big sleepover.

LITERALLY 100% ACCURATE. I LOVE THIS WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING.

The only thing I'd add is that when Radish and Watermelon are on their way back from destroying capitalism, they rob a gas station and bring snacks back for all the other Apple-sonas to enjoy during their sleepover.

Watermelon also totally snagged all the twenties from the register. Radish pretends he didn't notice.

[latimeria-fell-from-heaven]

lati lati i'm curious

among all the genshin men we have so far, who do you think would be an incubus??

(i got this thought when i was listening to a vocaloid song called dream demons and if you're ever interested i totally recommend the song hehe)

also can i be lotus anon if it's not taken? :'D

hi hi lotus!

ooh incubus genshin men!! i love that idea! also i listened to the song and it was really nice! thank you for the recommendation lotus! („• ֊ •„) as for the incubus, i can totally see kaeya, childe, and ayato as incubi! yes i chose the teasers, hush.

kaeya is a pretty obvious choice, considering his charming and flirtatious personality and how much sex appeal the man has. he's perfectly integrated into human society so anyone who has heard of or experienced his charming and sultry words just brushes it off as kaeya being kaeya, and nothing more than that. but what they don't know is that kaeya is the main reason why so many people wake up with soaked underwear and their dripping sexes throbbing with a faint heat. kaeya is rather good at making his nighttime appearances more like a tucked away and forbidden dream rather than reality.

he's always trying out his charming and sultry attempts on you, pinning you against the wall, holding up your hand and pressing a soft kiss to it, you name it and he's done it. you know what he is, so do diluc and rosaria, and the three of you often have to hear his very detailed and explicit stories when the wine hits him hard. sure he's handsome and he's good with words, but a man that gets more ass than an entire generation probably isn't even worth the effort or time. well, kaeya begs to differ, and he'll be dammed if you manage to crawl out of his grasp.

childe is an absolute horndog, and being an incubus just makes it even worse. anytime he picks a fight and wins, his arousal spikes through the damn roof. and he doesn't help that the fatui already have a nefarious enough reputation all throughout teyvat, and childe does little to help that. he's either the one clapping cheeks or he's getting his cheeks clapped. either way, he's like kaeya, but with less shame and he much prefers to start a fight to get his blood and adrenaline flowing.

he's so fucking annoying, always pestering you to fight him and following you around like a lost puppy. he's so clingy, hugging you when you least expect it and getting a reflexive punch to the face for it; he could be a creeper for all you knew. but all it does is just turn him on even more and he looks ready to cum in his pants that very moment. somehow he's zhongli approved and a part of you wonders how many meals and stuff childe must've paid for to be approved as boyfriend material by zhongli of all people. not that he cares; if that's what it takes to get your attention, then to hell with it.

ayato is much more low-key about his being an incubus since he has a reputation to keep up after all. so it would make sense that he tends to be much more pent up than the previous two before him. sure he can be a tease and has a silver tongue, but he ain't getting much since people can talk and well, he can't have that going around now can he? so he can only rely on so much self-help before he eventually snaps and sucks the most delectable person nearest to him dry.

he's always somehow in places you'll be, acting and speaking oh so sweetly and brushing up against you softly like you two are long-time friends. no matter how many deadpan insults you throw at him or the judgemental stares you give him, he just brushes it off and makes it clear that he ain't going anywhere. when nobody is looking, he'll brush his lips across the shell of your ear, but you can't bitch slap him or you'll be getting stares from everyone all around. you know it's not his fault that he's like this, but you'd prefer it if he could at least be horny when you're away from a crowd.

and yes, they all have long tails and cute horns. and if they finally manage to win your hard-ass over, don't be surprised when you feel said tail curling around you in excitement. literally, anything you do riles them up and gets them going faster than the speed of light. they may or may not use the incubus mark on your tummy to make you feel so so good when they're pounding their cock into you, your cute wails and moans sending erotic pleasure to their erections. and you look so cute with their mark on your tummy too♡

[indigobackfire]

Inspired by what @witchy-push said about Achill asking his parents (the coolest nerds you know) to go to Beauxbatons and they said yes. This is an AU - even though I even don't know what the regular universe looks like xD. Pure fluff and affection.

(Witchy please tell me if you want this gone 😅🙈).

CW: Idk underage drinking and kissing (yes, I know, I know).

Please, let me know if you spot any typos cause I'm tired.

After almost 20 years since the last Triwizard Tournament, it's a new era and Hogwarts wants to redeem itself as a hosting school, the games rethought and the school under a new command, it's finally time.

Sawyer had told her friends to put her name in as a joke, she's a nerd, not a jock and despite her stellar reputation, there was nothing that's accused her of being a suitable champion for Hogwarts. And yet...

Now is the Yule Ball and Sawyer knows well the reputation of these games, and if this could be the last party of her life, there is one thing she needs to do before she goes. And it might involve a long-term crush.

Sawyer wanted to blame the Firewhiskey that spiked the cherry punch, but she only had one sip before putting it away, or maybe the Butterbeer, but she had only had one glass of it. Maybe the loud music playing on stage, but no, mid-beat song, even the lights had stopped their obnoxious white blinking to the more toned down colorfulness. So she couldn't blame any other influence except her own desire and intentions.

But there she is, excused herself away from Vesper and their friends, now marching up to him, bumping shoulders with people on the way, keeping her eyes focused on the black hair, the wide white teeth smile, and freckled cheeks - sparkling, cause one of his friends had slapped some glitter onto it -, but tall as he is it's hard ever losing him in a crowd.

Her stomach tumbles inside her, she was never insecure with anyone, her friends are older and cooler - or as cool as a bunch of Ravenclaw nerds could be - and yet she managed to stand out with her wit and charm alone, but on this occasion, she was devoid of all. He isn't dancing alone, with his old Hogwarts and new Beauxbatons friends surrounding him, others eyeing him as Sawyer herself is, but she wasn't gonna just watch, not this time, not like she had done when she was too young to date and he had someone else in his arms.

As she steps into his perimeter, some of his French friends turn to look at her, she's tall enough to tower over most of the girls but not enough to stand in height with the boys - some of which looked at her with hungry eyes, the smell of fire whiskey and wine strong.

"Hello, mon chéri," a blonde and well-built boy greets her, voice slurred by drunkness.

"Bonjour," she discontentedly responds trying to make past him and his friends.

While she's making her way to Achill whose back is turned to her now, the same guy wraps an arm around her shoulder. "Oh! Pourquoi si vite? On devrait danser!"

But Sawyer wasn't on her best nerves at this moment. "Oh, fuck off," she says stepping on his foot.

"Connard!" He shouts making people around them turn heads.

And Sawyer doesn't see it, with her stomach cold at the Beauxbatons' boy reaction, angry eyes on her, only feels the brush against her arm, and then someone covers her view with their height. With the colorful lights reflecting on his black hair is easy knowing it's him, though even in total darkness she'd know - his perfume, she recollects from the announcing ceremony when he hugged her.

"That's a champion you talking to, Louis," Achill steps in, well-humored.

"Elle m'a piétiné le pied!"

"Oublie! Bien?" He turns to her with a soft smile which she retributes, then brings an arm carefully around her shoulder guiding her a few steps away from the other boys and she doesn't notice the poisoned looks shot their way. Where their skin met, she felt like he was setting her on fire. "Hey, Saw! You alright?"

She can't help a smile forming on her lips and staying that way. "I am, you didn't have to step in like that."

He looked, to say the least, astounding with his velvet blazer jacket, which she thought fit him so well, a leather necklace with a wood-carved flower pendant visible under his black shirt, his hair brushed back, and in his hand, invisibly, her heart.

"But I know them and he is drunk, it was better I did before you hurt him."

She cackles. "There's always that possibility."

"You're a menace and the even Goblet knew. How is the Hogwarts champion enjoying the party?"

"I'd be enjoying more if mom wasn't chaperoning."

"Don't you tell me! Mine hasn't taken her eyes off of me, wanna see?" He looks to his right and Sawyer follows, on the far corner of the party along with McGonagall, Indigo, and Rowan, representing the Department of Accidents and Catastrophes, and Magical Education respectively. Achill waves with a half-assed smile and Sawyer shakes her head.

"They're unbelievable."

She chuckles. "Yeah, they are. Can I talk to you? Somewhere else..."

"Yeah, of course." He reaches for one of his friends. "Je reviens dans une minute." He turns to her again. "Please, lead the way."

She takes him by the wrist. "Keep your head low if you plan to avoid your mom." He laughs and slouches while they make their way out of the crowd. "Your French sounds pretty amazing, by the way."

"Merci! Some of them are really good with their English so it's hard to resist the temptation to speak it with them. But I've been hard on myself, if I'm in Beauxbatons, the least I can do is learn the language."

"Oui! Le langage de l'amour!"

They have reached a corridor just out of the Great Hall, making way deeper to the west side of the castle, couples pressed against the walls making her stomach twirl out of nervousness at the sight. She didn't want to judge them and be a hypocrite, but she wanted privacy for them so she keeps on walking.

"Your French is better than mine," he laughs.

"I had a good teacher."

"Who?"

"My uncle Phoenix. He speaks like ten languages and he's amazing at all of them."

At this point, the corridors had gotten dark and completely empty, and yet she kept going.

He looks back. "If you're leading me to be executed, at least let my legs rest."

But they had reached one of the corridors framing the Quad, lit by the moon, which she observes for a moment after coming to a stop, a waxing gibbous, she notes in her head.

He stands beside her. "Wow, it looks beautiful."

"Yeah, but I think I'd appreciate it more if not for the worry about werewolves transforming soon. Not everybody has access to the Wolfsbane." She wraps her arms around herself due to the wind now blowing on them. "But there it is, Cepheus."

"Beautiful as always." He takes a deep sigh. "Merlin... the Scottish skies really don't compare..."

"They really don't." She looks at him starring at the sky and wishes she'd have the courage to caress his cheek or just stay silent and stare at his beautiful coin-worthy profile. "Do you miss Hogwarts?"

"Constantly." He turns to her. "My friends, the castle, the professors, my siblin- Well, them not so much. But I know the opportunity I got, not many do."

"You're right." Inside she was hoping, revisiting the school would make him want to return, that the memories would outweigh the novelty and class of Beauxbatons.

He watches her rub her arms. "Are you cold? I can lend you my-"

"Keep it, I'm fine." As alluring as the offer was, last thing she wanted was to be seen with his jacket attracting the preying eyes of people also interested in him or earning silly comments from her friends.

"So what you wanted to ask me about?" Her expression turns grave immediately so he prompts himself. "Hey, if it's about what the Beauxbaton kids said yesterday, they don't mean it. It's just competition stuff and, trust me, the French are really competitive, they can even be sour losers som-"

"It's not because of that, Achill. I've been thinking, this competition is really tough and other kids have actually died participating in the games-"

He holds her shoulders. "You'll be fine. You're smart enough and strong enough to win even."

"You can't guarantee that."

"Nobody can guarantee anything, but logically speaking, not considering the variables of luck and chaos-"

"Just shut up. Please. Thanks. I'm saying that if I die there, cause it's a possibility, I wanted to let you know about something." There it was, out of the box and it wasn't coming back.

He folds his arms, offering an amused smile and a smug eyebrow arch. "Please, do tell."

She takes a step forward, holding all the air inside her lungs while she takes him by his jacket making his arms unfold and his cheeks turn crimson against the brown skin, and nears her face to his... but then she sees real close those wide dilated blue eyes under frowned brows, parted lips in surprised and pulls herself away like an electron being forced into another, finally set free.

It was too much, too bold even for her. She brings her hands to her face, her heartbeat like violent drums, wishing she could merge into the wall. "I can't do this. I'm a coward," she mutters to herself. "Uh, I'm sorry, Achill. Please, just go back to your friends, I'm sorry."

"Were you going to kiss me?" His voice's a whisper.

"Uhm... yeah. I'm so sorry, pretend that never happened, you don't have to talk to me ever again."

In his stealth, Sawyer doesn't realize how close he is until his hands are pulling her own off her face by the wrists, nor does her brain seem to function properly when he presses his lips against hers and all comes undone inside her. She's frozen for a moment before his hands hold her face and she melts, finally moving her lips against his.

Playing cool was not an option cause who knows when would be the next time the boy she's been in love with since second year would kiss her again?

No, no, no, he's not simply 'the boy she's been in love with'. He's Achill and his kiss is making her hands tingle because she's never been kissed like this, his hands big, cradling her head, his audible sighs through wandering lips, his smell so soft and comforting, his taste of cherry...

She pulls away. "Are you drunk?"

His hands are still on her. "Not really. I drank two fingers of that spiked crap. Why are you asking?"

"I just wanna make sure you're not kissing me because you're drunk."

"I'm sober enough to know exactly what I'm doing. Now, would you mind if I..."

His mouth is on hers again, but it suddenly becomes harder to kiss, her breath coming even shorter by her racing heart - he has voluntarily kissed her not once but twice, more intensely this time. So in response, she wraps her arms around his neck as if he would run if she didn't.

It wasn't like all those times she had fantasized about his kiss, it was better, it was real - Achill in her arms, on her mouth, his scent of vanilla and old books, his soft skin against hers, his arms strong pulling her closer, his warmth.

She doesn't know how long it's been when he pulls away, both breathless.

He runs the back of his fingers against her cheek. "Sawyer..."

A shy smile. "Achill."

It's a minute of silence before he speaks. "Was kissing me really the thing you wanted to do before you die?"

"Yes." She steps away from his arms to allow herself to catch her breath. "I've liked you for the longest time, Achill. Ever since I began invading your Arithmancy classes back in second year."

He chuckles. "You were unusually enthusiastic about those classes, weren't you?"

"What can I do? I love Arithmancy. But also because I got to be close to you. But then... you started dating Janice. And then you left for Beauxbatons. We lost touch, we dated other people, but my affection for you never dwindled. I don't know if that was noticeable in the few letters I sent you, they were rather... discreetly passionate." He opens his lips but she interrupts him. "I'm not saying you have to like me back just because I like you, I just wanted to let you know."

He puffs looking out into the Quad and she's back at wrapping her arms around herself, watching how her lipstick had rubbed off on his lips.

He smiles. "It was you I first kissed when we were... what? Six or seven?"

"I was seven and you were nine. Playdate in your house, hiding from the twins, talking how disgusting we thought that kissing thing was before we decided trying it ourselves." He turns to her chuckling. "I have a really good memory."

But then he turns back to observe outside, serious expression back on his face which made Sawyer scared this was a bad idea after all, perhaps too forward even though, technically, he kissed her.

"I hope this doesn't change things between us. Should I survive the Tournaments trials, of course," she tries laughing the weight of the moment off but to no use.

"No, Sawyer, it does change things." He runs a hand down his face before glancing at her. "You're the type of girl I could see myself falling for, the type of girl perfect for breaking my heart. And not only you dated my cousin, but I'll also have to return to Beauxbatons eventually and this only makes things complicated."

Fall for her... she holds in a chuckle. She had plenty of guys 'fall for her', she even dated one of the most sought-after boys in Hogwarts, James Sirius Potter himself, despite her regrets of doing so. But Achill has always felt like too much even for her - with his personality cooler than anyone she knew, not to mention smart, his ex-girlfriend, Janice, the siren-looking blonde who broke up with him when he decided to leave for Beauxbatons, a girl she thought to be stupidly prettier than herself, not to mention the French redhead that seemed to be glued to his side.

She fidgets with the beads on her dress. "I'm sorry."

"Don't- Don't be sorry." He steps closer and lifts her chin, holding his stare on her face. "God... those green eyes... have always had an effect on me, d'you know?"

She looks away with a chuckle. "Got 'em from my dad."

"Dads and their seeing eyes."

"We got lucky, didn't we? I mean for our 20/20 vision. We'd- I mean, I'd look even more like an insufferable nerd if I had to wear glasses. Not to mention looking so much like my mom which I already do."

"I had forgotten how much of a chatterbox you can be sometimes," he chuckles.

"Only when I'm nervous."

"I don't want you to be nervous around me." Without rush, he holds her face before laying a soft kiss once, twice, three times. "Would you wait for me?"

The question takes her off guard. "That's a serious thing to say to a girl whose feelings you've only known about for twenty minutes."

"Well, I'm that serious. And don't act like we're strangers, I've known you for many summers."

"But I've changed, ever since you left. Two years is a lot."

"Two years of heavy homesickness, Saw. And guess who's the person, besides my relatives, that reminds me the most of home? The girl I know since diapers."

It was nearly impossible keeping walls up when they are this close, when his lips had just touched her, and her heart was inclined to be a fool for him. "If you'd promise, really promise, to come back for me, I'd wait for as long as I have to. Though I hope, I won't have to wait too long."

He laughs. "I promise. Let's make the most of our time while I'm here with you, while I watch you win that stupid Tournament."

"Will you pretend not to know me if I lose?"

"I'll cheer you even harder. I'm not sure but I hope you'll end up in the top three."

She laughs loud and before she notices, she's back in his embrace, mouths on each other's once again with the new taste of joy permeating every touch and every sound. How long had she waited for this? It didn't matter, not when he's with her, real and eager and lively.

"What a show."

Sawyer pulls away from his lips while opposedly he holds her close as if to protect her. But it was no monster, no villain, no adult. Vesper crosses her arms and paces towards them with a devious smile.

"Finally got your act together, boy?"

He pats her black curls. "Hi, Vesper."

"What are you doing here?"

"Everybody started going mad looking for you, we can't afford to lose a champion!"

"I haven't been away for that long."

"More than half an hour."

"And how'd you find us?"

"Yor mom," Vesper says tapping her temple to remind Sawyer of the obvious she had forgotten, Indigo's legilimency. "They know you two are here sucking faces," Vesper sings.

"I hate when she does that." She turns to Achill. "I'm sorry, I really wanted to keep this as secretive as possible."

"I don't mind if they know. I mean, they'll be annoyingly supportive and extremely intrusive, yeah, but that's the least of our problems."

Sawyer smiles from ear to ear. "I still can't believe you're actually serious about this."

"Do you want me to slow it down?"

---

Sawyer was good with the numbers, with the risks, but not this time. She'd let herself crash and burn if that was the case, but she'd have him, love him for however long he allowed her to.

She takes his hand. "Keep it fast, whatever comes next will come."

Ha! Here I am in my yearning mode xD I wrote this a few weeks ago and only finished these past few days. It kinda sucks but I had to let it out of my system. Yes, Sawyer dated James because yes - for the drama guys for the drama.

I don't know what else to say xD I've known them for little time but I already love them.

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Boy Meets Girlfriend

Fandom: Never Have I Ever Pairing: Devi/Paxton Rating: E Word Count: 4823

Summary: At the dance and after, Devi maps out the learning curve for becoming Paxton Hall-Yoshida’s official, non-secret girlfriend.

Coy was a cute look on Paxton, when his face tipped down and his dimple snapped up—not when he was giving Devi apologetic eyebrows because Trent was hovering. The stupid DJ was finally playing a damn slow song and that was obviously when Trent decided he needed to butt in on their moment.

Did he not get it? Devi knew this was California they were doing their rhythmic swaying in, but Trent shouldn’t have been so desensitized to quakes that he hadn’t felt the earth move when she and Paxton had entered hand in hand. This was huge! Did Trent really need to pause for a high five on his way to spike the punch or could he just use his eyes, notice how close Paxton’s hands were to full-on groping Devi’s butt, and maybe just hang back this one time?

“What?” Devi asked him sharply, because Paxton wasn’t saying anything to his friend. She wanted to believe he was attempting to correctly treat this slow dance as a one-on-one thing after the calamity of their first date, but the way he was avoiding Trent’s eyes might also have been a sign that he was burning with shame to be romantically linked to her in public…

But Devi was choosing to trust that the former was true.

She tried to keep her relieved exhale subtle when Paxton backed her up. She’d never doubted him.

“Yeah, man,” he tacked on, “don’t you maybe wanna go dance with somebody yourself?”

“Oh, yeah, for sure.” Trent glanced back over his shoulder to where Eleanor was standing, elbow propped commandingly on one of the cocktail tables as she fielded compliments on her dress. “We’ve actually been dancing, so I’m starting to think about my plans for after.”

“Nice.”

Paxton’s hand left Devi’s hip, fingers curling as he went in for a fist bump—which Devi intercepted, forcing his hand to drop.

“Ew! Stop! You’re not going to congratulate him right in front of me! Not on his plans to get into my best friend’s pants! Or, you know, up her humungous, Glinda-the-Good-Witch-style skirt!”

At least Paxton grimaced guiltily.

“Sorry. Habit.”

“Rad conflict resolution, you guys,” Trent said, clapping them both on the shoulder, “but I wasn’t even talking about sex. Nah, I was thinking we afterparty this thing. You two in?”

“A party? At your place, I’m assuming?” Devi clarified quickly. “I think you remember what happened the last time I was present at one of your parties, and I know you both remember all too clearly what happened at the party I recently threw.”

Her gaze slid to Paxton’s face. She could feel the tightness around her eyes as she winced; instantly, she relaxed her expression. She wished she could say it was some kind of mature handling of those heightened emotions Dr. Ryan had recognized in her, but it was basically just fear of disturbing the glue that held her false eyelashes in place. Whatever. She’d dealt with a lot of shit lately (mainly of her own making) and she deserved to be shallow. She’d earned that.

“Ah, no, Zoe’s hosting the rager,” Trent explained, “and I was totally gonna go, but then Eleanor was telling me all about this other kind of party while we were dancing. Have you guys ever heard of an intellectual salon? It sounds sick.”

“Yes,” Devi said at the same time Paxton said, “No.”

“Cool! Well, that’s what we’re doin’. I can’t make it that fancy ’cause my parents are away at a wine-tasting retreat and the standard for cleanliness inside the house has kinda slipped a little, but I’m gonna swing by the grocery store on my way home to see what I can grab in the form of hors d’oeuvres.”

Grinning, Trent nodded to himself in satisfaction. Devi redirected her pained expression from Trent to Paxton. Maybe her thoughts were a little judgemental at the moment—when Trent described eating hors d’oeuvres in a house where the cleanliness had “slipped,” she anticipated microwavable mini-pizzas on a saggy couch draped in Trent’s dirty laundry—but her biggest concern was what Paxton would say next. Yes, he’d kissed her out front where the stragglers who showed up to the dance late and the losers who left extra early could have seen them. Yes, he’d held her hand when they came inside where substantially more people definitely saw them. But neither of these things was the same as hanging out with her in front of his friends while acknowledging that they were actually dating. And while her friends were also present to glare at him in condemnation if he chicken-shitted his way out of it.

Devi felt her palms and back get clammy. Thankfully, not even close to the world record in sweating her body had attempted to win at the relay. Her perfume would disguise any odour and, anyway, what was a little apprehensive perspiration between boyfriend and girlfriend?

Full of hope and a declining state of hydration, she stared at Paxton and resisted the urge to pat her damp palms on the shoulders of his suit jacket. He met her eyes, clenching his jaw and looking a little flighty, but then he nodded.

“We’ll be there,” he told Trent.

“Baller.”

“And you’re seriously going to keep it small?” Devi asked anxiously.

She was worried about Paxton not acting like a boyfriend in front of a bunch of people when there wasn’t loud music and grinding to distract them. She was worried about her mom finding out. She was worried about encountering another coyote and having to explain ragged tears in her nice dress. If anyone were going to rip her dress off her tonight, she’d prefer it be Paxton, but the cold truth was that her mom would straight up murder her if this dress got destroyed.

“For sure,” Trent assured her. “Most people are committed to Zoe’s thing and you’d be surprised how closed-minded they were when I started explaining intellectual salons.”

Devi squinted dubiously.

“Would I be surprised?”

“When are you taking off, man?” Paxton cut in.

“Half an hour? Gotta snag an audience with Cricket royalty first though,” he said, scanning the dance floor. “Nothing says ‘classy’ like legit plastic crowns. I told Eleanor I’d do the invites so she has the time and creative space she needs to think of topic ideas for the salon.”

Devi looked around as well and pointed out the back of Eve’s pale blonde head in the crowd. Trent gave her an upward jerk of his chin in thanks and started making his way towards the other couple.

“Topic ideas?” Paxton asked, reclaiming Devi’s attention. (She practically melted against his chest at the flash of his confused smile.) “Is this thing a debate?”

“Don’t worry,” she said. “In my experience, Eleanor does most of the talking at her salons. We can just nod along. Or,” she added, straightening her spine a little as her gaze flittered nervously down to her boyfriend’s tie and back up to his face, “we could sneak out and sit in another room. Privately. By ourselves. Unless you wouldn’t be into that, in which case—”

“I’d be into it.”

Slowly, Devi let her gaze catch on Paxton’s, eyes moving with his as his hands smoothed around to hold her lower back. She must have looked disbelieving because he laughed. With a roll of his lips, he wet them, then tilted his face towards her. Her eyelids fluttered shut, but apparently he wasn’t going in for a kiss. The soft sound of his lips parting came from right beside her ear.

“I’d be into it,” he repeated at a whisper. He began to retreat, then returned to add, “And your nose ring looks hot.”

Devi had genuinely stanned Aneesa when she’d given her mom that speech about the power of nose rings to proudly flaunt her Indian culture and reclaim her femininity, but seriously, what Paxton had just said meant way more. She fought not to touch the gold hoop reflexively, but she did permit herself a small-scale hair flip.

“As long as you wouldn’t feel weird about making out in Trent’s house.”

“Not at all,” Paxton promised. “I just found out he’s been chilling at my house after school on, like, a daily basis for months. Probably years. I should start getting even. Not that this is about that!”

His eyes widened and his hands tensed on her back as he rushed to reassure her. But Devi was mellow. She was a girl with a boyfriend now. She gave Paxton an easy smile and shrugged, hands crossed at the wrist and dangling behind his neck.

“I know,” she said. “I trust you.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. Should I not?”

“Maybe not my reaction speed with hitting the brakes, but I’ll work on that,” Paxton vowed with a sheepish smile.

“There will also be less chance of you ramming me with your bumper if I’m in the passenger seat of your car,” Devi pointed out cheerfully. “We can go places together.”

“You want a ride to Trent’s?”

“That’d be great.”

—

Devi’s mom had not only accepted but encouraged the possibility of her going over to either Eleanor or Fabiola’s place after the dance. Technically, Devi was with both of those people right now, only the venue was different. She considered this being at least 50% obedient to what her mom had expected of her and felt a little smug.

Drifting back and forth between the kitchen and living room sure beat the strained formality she imagined happening at home right then. Her mom and her pati would be trading sing-songed small talk with Prashant’s parents while actually sizing each other up, and Kamala and Prashant would be stretching their faces with fake smiles as they waited out the pleasantries until it was time for Prashant to propose. Getting to miss all that meant Devi was higher on her own good fortune than Trent was on the gummy bear edibles he kept putting on the miniature quiches he was scarfing. He was making the bears jump up and down, saying the quiche was a tiny trampoline, which was kind of hilarious.

It was really nice not having to be the host. The small group of guests turned out to be people who were more Devi’s circle than Trent and Paxton’s—Eric and Rosalia, Eve’s friend Sasha, a few of Eleanor’s theatre friends, Aneesa (though Ben, weirdly, hadn’t joined her)—and Eleanor was enthusiastically shepherding them all through her preprepared discussion topics.

Devi was surprised that Trent was into all this. From the start, she’d been expecting him to tap Paxton on the arm and suggest the two of them dip, leaving his living room full of people so they could go to Zoe’s party instead. But he seemed really interested in trying to impress Eleanor. Devi thought his three-piece suit was going a long way towards accomplishing that because fashion meant a lot to Eleanor and she was definitely looking at Trent differently (and, just, more) than she had in the past.

Paxton seemed a little less into this. Then again, he was out of his element. His cool friends had been traded in for her dorky associates. Not wanting to put pressure on him, Devi had yet to sit down; the most she’d done was perch on the arm of the deep chair Eve and Fab had squeezed themselves into side by side. If she didn’t sit, he wouldn’t need to calculate the deduction to his social currency if he cupped her knee or slung an arm around her shoulders or pulled her onto his lap. And she wouldn’t need to watch those calculations happening behind his eyes.

However, the second the evening’s academic façade began to crumble and Trent steered everyone down to the basement for beer pong and video games, Paxton was up, folding Devi’s hand into his.

“What the hell have you been doing?” he asked laughingly as they trooped down the stairs. “I feel like we’re barely at the same party.”

“Just trying not to crowd you,” Devi said, gathering her skirt with her free hand so she wouldn’t step on the hem.

“Please, Vishwakumar, crowd me.”

“Oooh,” Devi heard from behind her. She turned to see Eleanor smiling at her as she peeled off her long, satiny gloves. “Your boyfriend is right.”

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Eleanor leaned towards her to add, “You won’t have those naked memories to look back on when you’re on your deathbed if you don’t do a little crowding.”

“What?!” Paxton asked.

“Don’t worry about her,” Devi said, waving a blasé hand. “Do you want me to hold your jacket for you while you school some of these nerds at beer pong?”

“That’s really hurtful,” Eric protested. “We’re right here. And if these dexterous fingers were enough to secure me the Robotics Team captaincy, I think they’ll serve me well at beer pong.”

“Hey!” Fabiola barked. “That decision has not been finalized. There’s going to be another vote that I actually get to participate in and you will be recalled!”

Devi hardly heard them. She was smiling as Paxton shrugged out of his jacket and, instead of handing it to her, settled it on her shoulders. Her heart flipped as he swept her hair out from under the collar. He stared at her a minute, looking like he was stuck between stepping back and leaning in. The tension broke with his hand moving from her shoulder to her cheek, angling her face as he gave her a quick kiss, mumbling about it being for luck before he turned to square off against Trent.

“Did you see that?” Devi demanded of Fabiola as she dropped into the seat beside her without taking her eyes off of Paxton. (He was rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt and slinging his tie over his shoulder to keep it out of the solo cups Trent had just finished filling; looking away would have been a crime. Paxton Hall-Yoshida, she thought. My my my.)

“Yeah,” Fabiola said.

“Can you believe it?”

“Yes,” Eleanor squealed, bouncing down on Devi’s other side and inadvertently creating a magical landscape of vibrant tulle as their dresses overlapped on the couch. “You guys getting together at all was super unrealistic, but after it happened once, I knew things would work out.”

Devi tore her gaze away from Paxton to squint at her friend.

“…Thanks?”

“I kinda thought we might not see you in here.”

“How come?”

Eleanor shadily avoided Devi’s eye and tried to meet Fabiola’s for some wordless communication, but Devi wasn’t having that. She widened her eyes expectantly and kept angling her face in front of Eleanor’s until her friend gave up and spilled.

“Well, he drove you, right?” Eleanor clarified needlessly. “Would it have been so unlikely for you two to have spent the night in his back seat rather than join us?”

“You did say Paxton’s been climbing up to your window to make out,” Fabiola reminded her. “That established level of passion plus the bombshell of him showing up as your date? I could see that being some sort of catalyst for you.”

Eleanor scooped Devi’s hands up gently in her own, holding them like her pati might while saying something very un-pati-ish: “It’s no secret that you’re horny AF for Paxton.”

If it had still been a secret—either because Devi was in the early stages of pining for the untouchable swim team hottie or because Paxton was having issues with the idea of people knowing about the two of them—Devi would have shushed her friends in embarrassment, not wanting anyone to overhear. But that was her man over there, pumping his fist in the air and heckling Trent as he downed the contents of one of the cups. Devi smirked in satisfaction.

“Yes. Yes I am.”

“Your restraint is admirable, that’s all I’m saying,” Eleanor summarized.

“If you’re judging me right now for not hooking up with Paxton in the back of his jeep, then I’m going to have to make comments about your restraint.”

“What do you mean?”

“Trent!” Devi blurted. “What’s going on there? The guy complimented you, danced with you all night, invited you back to his place, patiently sat through your intellectual salon—”

“I think being mildly stoned helped with that.”

“—and yet you’re sitting on the couch instead of going up to his bedroom and getting hot and dishevelled!”

“I just broke up with Malcolm!”

“And you know what people say about that,” Devi prompted. “Get over somebody by get under someone else!”

“They do say that,” Fabiola confirmed.

Eleanor rolled her eyes.

“I don’t need to get over Malcolm, but it would look bad, wouldn’t it? Malcolm was just a dumb, starstruck crush that lasted longer than it should have, but—”

“Great! All the more reason to feel things out with Trent,” Devi said. “If you know what I’m sayin’.”

“Just give her a minute,” Fab advised calmly. “She’s probably just collecting herself before she makes her move.”

“And what about you?!” Devi demanded, rounding on the Cricket Queen.

Fabiola looked startled and tucked her chin back like she was going to recede into her polo shirt.

“What about me?”

“You and Eve exchanged ‘I love yous’ tonight. How are you not all over each other right now?”

“Because we’re moving at our own pace. And because Eve’s over there partnering your boyfriend in beer pong. And,” Fab emphasized, “because I still like sitting here and talking to you guys.”

“I would not be offended if you picked Eve over us tonight,” Devi swore, “and El’s gonna back me up on that, aren’t you…”

She trailed off; she’d glanced back to get her other best friend’s approval and found the seat empty. She hadn’t even heard the rustle of Eleanor fleeing in her ballgown! That stealthy little Cinderella! Devi’s gaze darted to the beer pong match. The teams had been Paxton/Eve versus Trent/Aneesa, but now Sasha had taken Trent’s place. Apparently, Eleanor didn’t need to collect herself before making her move after all.

“Makes you proud,” Devi said. “Doesn’t it?”

She looked to Fabiola only to find that her remaining friend’s luminous expression was directed at an approaching Eve.

“Aaand I’m gonna get a drink,” Devi decided, because even though Fabioleve was a pretty palatable power couple to be around most days, she didn’t want to be sitting right next to these two Crickets when they started rubbing their legs together.

She left Paxton’s jacket on the couch and crept upstairs in the dark. Leaning into Trent’s family’s fridge, she drummed her fingers on the door. There was more than one bottle of wine in there, but Devi didn’t know whether they were the cheaper kind people used for cooking or the insanely expensive kind that she shouldn’t even make eye contact with.

“What looks good?”

Devi whirled to see Paxton leisurely rounding the island, hand skimming its surface. He must’ve followed her up. Her eyes flitted to the basement doorway, then back to her boyfriend. Since he’d initiated the very Romeo and Juliet scaling-her-house-and-entering-through-her-bedroom-window thing, she’d started to get more confident in his presence when they were alone. Right now, they were only sort of alone, but the light of the fridge was spilling out around her silhouette to bathe him in a dampened glow and he’d offered up the perfect prelude to a come-on.

“You in a suit, but I’m sure you already knew that,” she said.

Paxton laughed quietly and spread his arms to grip the edges of the island at his back. He’d flipped his tie back down sometime between beer pong and trailing her to the kitchen; it hung slightly off-centre, exposing the neat, white buttons of his shirt and mocking whatever composure Devi’d thought she had. She shivered at the cold air continuing to blow out of the open fridge.

Stepping forward, she allowed the fridge to thwap closed behind her. Now there was only the light coming in from the living room, where a lamp had been left on.

“I thought you were thirsty,” Paxton said.

“Trust me,” Devi told him, “I really, really am.”

Her bare feet slapped the kitchen floor as she crossed it in the low light to throw her arms around her boyfriend’s neck and press herself up against him, sealing their mouths together. The kiss was long and firm and Devi relaxed into it, feeling like the two of them were increasingly isolated from the rest of the world, everything peacefully black with her eyes shut tight.

When Paxton’s hands finally found her hips, she thought, Ok, here’s where we start the cool down, because the end of their make-out sessions always went like group cycling classes (or what she knew of group cycling classes, anyway, since the physical toll of the relay hadn’t exactly inspired her to start going to the gym). He would establish space, there’d begin to be longer breathers between each kiss, and eventually, he’d say I should go in an unnecessarily sultry voice that always made her want to talk him into staying a little longer. Except there was her mother and her pati and her cousin, so Devi had consistently gone along with this tapered separation. Despite the stupid-high amount of lust she was feeling for Paxton in Trent’s dim kitchen at this moment, she was prepared to go along with their regular procedure once again.

…Except Paxton’s hands didn’t gently push her hips away. He held her tighter and, tilting his head to kiss her more deeply (she made a noise into his mouth like a puppy having a chasing dream), turned them until it was her lower back pushed against the island.

“You good?” he asked, breaking the kiss far enough to get the words out but not enough that his lips didn’t brush hers as he spoke them.

“Uh, incredibly,” Devi promised. Her hand clasped the back of his neck as she guided him back down.

Quickly, she realized she didn’t need to stretch up on her toes, because Paxton was curving into her. Face tipped down, arms around her, socked feet shuffling incrementally closer. He kissed her more insistently and her brain became a hotel where all the little rooms were turning off their lights. His mouth went to the underside of her jaw, her neck, and an entire floor of her mind went dark and silent as she exhaled shaky breaths. When Paxton’s hands glided up the bodice of her dress to questioningly cup her boobs, the Do Not Disturb signs got hooked around every doorknob.

Eyes still closed, Devi found one of his hands and slipped it under her neckline. The dress was padded, like she’d told him after he’d brought her the closest she’d ever been to vehicular manslaughter, so she hadn’t worn a bra. Paxton had probably come to that conclusion hours ago—she’d seen his gaze buried in her cleavage—but the faint noise he made informed Devi that he was happy to get a conclusive answer.

For all the making out they’d done in her room, he’d never tried to coax her beyond necking and she’d never reminded him of how she’d put herself on his radar by walking up to him and asking if he was DTF, in a couple more words. So, his hand wedged between her dress and her skin, skillfully kneading her boob? New. Her fingers creeping up then back down the placket of his dress shirt, stroking between the buttons to feel muscles and heat? New. Paxton abandoning the polite we’re-dancing-in-public posture their bodies had occupied most of the night to nudge his hips into hers? New. Yep, that was Paxton Hall-Yoshida’s erection. Even through three layers of skirt, Devi could feel it.

She flushed so hot that she felt momentarily cold. She was tingling, remembering all the things that could be more than dreams and fantasies with him now, forgetting everything about their current location but the usefulness of the island keeping her upright as Paxton ground slowly against her and she gasped, inching her feet apart to give his thigh space to fit between hers.

Feeling for his jaw, her fingers grazed a cheek so smooth he must’ve shaved right before the dance. To look nice. To be with her. To avoid scraping her with his scruff if things ended up like they had, Devi lifting his face from her neck to draw him into another kiss. Her other hand worked open one of the buttons over his stomach, and then her hand was inside his shirt, flattened to his abdomen, and they were kissing more roughly. His fingers cradled the base of her skull and tangled in her hair. Hers curled, catching his abs lightly with her manicured nails.

“I want you so bad,” he panted against her cheek.

Paxton’s voice was not only horny but vulnerable, and Devi didn’t say, It’s ‘badly’. She wanted him so bad too.

She swallowed thickly when he hunched to drag his mouth across her collarbone. Trembling slightly (this is real, this is real, she thought), she glided her hand down his abdomen until it met the waist of his pants. She took her hand out of his shirt, hooking her fingers around his belt.

Though the least fumble-y way of progressing wasn’t yet clear to Devi, she was sure she had hazy plans to figure it out when they were violently interrupted by the overhead light blinking on. Disoriented by the abrupt brightness, she turned her head to see who’d disturbed them.

She screamed.

“What the fuck?” Paxton yelped, jerking his hand out of Devi’s dress to shove her protectively behind him as they both stumbled backwards, away from the horrifyingly grotesque face of the intruder. His skin was sallow, his eyes ringed by dark, sunken sockets.

“What do you guys think? Pretty dope, right?” the monstrous trespasser asked with a grin.

“Trent?”

Of course it was Trent’s voice. Devi was still breathing heavily, forcing herself to recognize Trent’s body language and suit as she stared at the stranger, when Paxton reached back to wrap an arm around her waist and change their positions again. She frowned at him in confusion as he stepped behind her, his fingers scrabbling over the buttons she’d undone on his shirt—he’d shield her from a potential axe murderer but make her the shield when the axe murderer turned out to be his friend?

Paxton coughed awkwardly, getting her attention and flicking his gaze downward. Her eyes landed on the bulge in the front of his dress pants and widened. Ok, yeah, that made sense. He was concealing the extent of their kitchen encounter from his bro… and Eleanor, who’d just waltzed in behind Trent, looking ready to take a bow.

Devi put it together and said, “You did Trent’s makeup.”

“Yeah!” Eleanor confirmed. “He asked me earlier about how I’d done mine for The Glass Menagerie, so I just did his in the bathroom. The wrinkles came out so well!”

Trent chuckled in obvious delight.

“Do I look old as fuck or what?”

“Old as fuck,” Devi said, still incredibly taken aback by their intrusion.

When she felt herself gritting her teeth, she thought back to the home video of her dad and pregnant mom. It was enough to stop herself from snapping at her friends for depriving her of the chance to sail from second base straight into third. Devi exhaled and lowered her shoulders.

“I figured you guys—”

“Snuck off to do what you two were just doing?” Eleanor guessed, lips pursing. It may have looked like judgement, but Devi knew her friend was totally proud of her.

“We… we weren’t…” Paxton (Mr. I-Don’t-Kiss-and-Tell) faltered, edging out to presumably seem less like he was hiding behind Devi.

“You rebuttoned your shirt wrong and the curls in Devi’s hair have clearly been loosened by an amorous hand.”

“Fine, you caught us,” Devi said, throwing her hands up palms-out. “Now can you un-catch us and go back to the basement please?”

Trent laughed.

“And leave you two to bang on the counter? Nah. C’mon, you horndogs.”

“That’s my girlfriend you’re talking to,” Paxton retorted, tipping his chin up in a cocky fake challenge as he hugged Devi to his side. She managed to keep her very not-casual smile closed-lipped, but it was broad.

His hand closed around hers and they followed Trent and Eleanor back to the basement stairs. Devi released her hold to let Paxton bound down the steps with his friend as they continued to banter, more than happy to hang back with Eleanor and point out that, despite her moral superiority in the kitchen, her butterfly necklace was askew.

“Wonder how that could’ve happened,” Devi said teasingly.

Eleanor blushed.

[captainsourwolf]

okay hear me out.

everyone knows about link’s crush on john mayer. it’s no secret, he happily told everyone on camera his crush is the singer. nobody is surprised of course, least of all rhett, because rhett is the one that gets to hold his hand and love him and fuck him and kiss him and do all the things john mayer just wishes he could fucking do with link neal.

which okay, maybe rhett’s a little jealous sometimes. but he can’t help it. john mayer gets brought up and link’s eyes light up, this spot on his throat that ticks when his pulse rate spikes starts jumpin’, he gets this weirdly euphoric look on his face because he gets to talk about his stupid crush. the last time he reacted like that to rhett was when they were in college and he thought he was being smooth hiding his feelings.

okay so rhett is a lot jealous. sue him.

one day at the creative house he walks in and link’s playing an old john mayer cd and rhett’s blood instantly boils. he follows the source straight into link’s office where link is bebopping his head along to some stupid song about something stupid and rhett clenches a fist before he can even stop himself.

“link,” rhett would huff when he’s ignored only to feel bad a second later. he’s had crushes before. he remembers what it feels like.

but this different. this is link getting weirdly giddy when the other man is brought up, this is him bringing the singer up any chance he gets, it’s link acting like a teenager experiencing his first boner because someone made him feel all tingly.

rhett hates it. supremely. with everything in him.

which is why he can’t be blamed when he slaps his hand on link’s dumb boom box he just had to have and effectively stops john mayer’s crooning. link jumps in surprise and finally notices rhett has entered the room.

“hey—! i was listening to that!” but he isn’t angry, just peeved, cheeks flushing a bit when he glares at rhett and gets up to turn it back on.

rhett is taller and bigger so he blocks the boom box and crosses his arms.

“maybe im tired of listening to john mayer all the time,” rhett snips and link huffs and his mouth pops open into a perfect ring and he looks a bit murderous for a second if rhett’s bring totally honest. “your crush is cute, but come on, do we gotta listen to him all the time?”

link gets all huffy again and throws his hands in the air. “it’s not a crush, shut up, man,” he grumbles. but the spot on the back of his neck that gives him away all the time flares up and he reaches up to scrub at it.

“you loooooove him?” rhett teases. he can do that. he can tease, even if it means reverting back to when he was a high schooler that thought the way to a girl’s heart was through jokes and rude comments. he grins a little when link looks away, to the side and down, rubbing that spot even harder.

“shuddup, rhett.” there’s no venom to it, just a bit of amusement and embarrassment to go with the pinkness rising up his neck.

“you wanna hold his hand and swoon over him while he sings to you?”

link’s blush disappears under the collar of his—surprisingly enough—john mayer sweatshirt. the one that’s cream colored and splashed with pinks and blues, and looks soft against his skin.

“rhett—“

rhett grins a cheeky little grin and leans against the table the boom box is on.

“want him to wine and dine you? show you a good time?”

link’s tells are starting to pop out: shifting on his feet, scrubbing his neck, pushing at his glasses, fidgeting with his wedding ring. rhett is hitting every button and it sends a thrill through him knowing he’s making link a bit hot under the collar.

and of course that’s when he notices the blush deepen when he says “show you a good time” and the subtle way link is trying to adjust his pants. rhett swallows and licks his lips and thinks he could have some fun with this. he is jealous after all. get link hot, get him off, remind him rhett is the one he should be blushing for.

“want john mayer to kiss you, link?” rhett shoves away from his perch and stalks towards him. link licks his lips and looks down at the floor, shuffles his feet.

“you don’t—“ link shrugs and huffs. “you don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

rhett bumps link’s chest he gets so close. dips down and kisses his hot cheek, his ear, tugs on it with his teeth a little.

“you wanna fuck him?” rhett whispers and tugs again. link whimpers a little, a tiny thing rhett almost doesn’t hear. when he registers that’s what he heard, he rears back enough to see link’s cheeks ruddy and hot and giving him away. rhett swallows, shuffles closer, feels an unmistakable bulge pressing into his leg.

link is hard. the realization makes the jealousy burn in rhett’s gut.

“do you want him to fuck you?” rhett murmurs and that’s the clencher. link’s cheeks turn tomato red and it disappears down his neck into that silly sweatshirt and his cock twitches on rhett’s hip.

link swallows so hard his throat clicks and he shoves rhett back, hardly far enough to put any space between them, but still. he glares up at rhett with no heat, digs fists into rhett’s shirt, yanks him down into a kiss that’s more bite than anything.

they don’t do things half-assed that’s for sure. link is naked and bent over his desk in no time, rhett naked and two fingers deep with spit and lube they keep hidden in the desk and leaning over link’s backside to get at his ear. breath hot and damp and making link shiver.

“wonder how good it’d feel to have john mayer’s fingers up your ass, baby? think his are as thick as mine?” link moans so loud rhett feels it in chest. his dick twitches at the sound.

link is a needy whiny mess. looks fucked out already spread out on his own desk, back heaving, cock dripping a sticky trail on his thigh and the floor. rhett can see his eyes where he’s leaning close, can see how dopey and unfocused they are just from rhett finger fucking him and talking about another man. the jealousy only makes him harder, makes him get a little rough with it, crooking his fingers just right to make link jerk and moan.

rhett pulls his fingers free and link whines and chases the feeling. he’s on his knees behind link biting an ass cheek and dragging his thumb over link’s stretched hole, teasing and kind of all over the place, not really knowing what he wants to do just that he wants to do it. so he makes link turn over, gets his mouth on a thigh, on a hip, on his balls, at the base of his cock.

“such a good singer, must have a nice mouth, too. surely he does.” link’s head thunks on the desk and he whines again, raises his hips to try and get rhett’s mouth on him. “think he can suck a cock with that nice mouth?”

“rhett—“

rhett licks him from root to tip, sloppy and messy, precum and spit wetting his beard, shining up his lips.

“want him to suck you off, link? fuck his mouth the way you do mine?” rhett gets a weak kick to his thigh and fingers winding in his hair. link leans up, on his free elbow, peers down at rhett all fucked out and horny and desperate. he growls and yanks rhett’s head back to look at him, at his flushed and sweaty face and his perky nips, taut belly, his cock throbbing and wet. “admit it,” rhett huffs a laugh and digs his fingers into link’s thighs.

“what if i do?” link admits, voice too rough around the edges.

that just won’t do.

rhett growls this time and shoves link’s hand off his head then stands, fits himself between link’s thighs. they stare at each other a moment, link smirking in challenge, rhett glaring. he roughly grabs link around the knees, hikes his legs up till he’s resting his calves on rhett’s sweaty shoulders. he drags his cock along rhett’s, the tease, and moans, smirk widening when rhett chokes a little.

“come on, then, fuck me, rhett, bet john mayer—“ it’s enough for rhett clamp a hand over his mouth, use the other one to slick himself up and line up and slip the head of his cock in link’s tight hole. link’s clipped off moan and the way he shudders it out makes rhett’s head spin.

again, they don’t do things half-assed, ever. rhett gives him his time to adjust, barely enough, and fucks into him messy and quick. link licks his palm and bites at the meat of his hand but rhett doesn’t budge. he keeps his hand there and pulls out and thrusts back in, starting up a steady rhythm. doesn’t take long to build a pace that punches the air out of link’s lungs.

link’s legs slip and wind around rhett’s waist. he yanks rhett forward and down, brow knitting when rhett’s cock hits deeper, smoother. rhett finally removes his hand and winds it through link’s hair and presses their chests together.

this close he can see the thin ring of blue left, the freckle beside his eye, the sweat beading on his upper lip. he tilts link’s head back and bites at his throat, takes his time sucking a bruise into the delicate skin over his jugular. he soothes it then goes back in for more and fucks link harder, making the desk rattle and groan under their combined weight and pace.

“this good enough?” rhett asks, having to stop and catch his breath before he can continue speaking. he starts a slow grind, barely out and right back in, making sure link feels it when he shoves his cock deep and presses his pelvis right up against link’s ass. “could he do it better?” the legs around his waist tighten.

“want that crooner to fuck you like this?” link’s breathing changes, hitches a little around his throat, and he’s scrambling to get his fingers in rhett’s hair, on rhett’s body. they slip on his back and end up around his waist, back in his hair, down again to his belly before finally giving up and squeezing around rhett’s neck. “want him to screw you against your desk all nice and slow? or get you on your belly and hold your head down and make you feel it?”

link gasps and rhett is done with the grinding, the slow pace, and sits back, holding onto link’s thighs. link can’t get a grip on anything in time and nearly bangs into the wall behind him, moaning loud and strangled, and reaching for rhett.

it’s always a punishing pace when they’re like this. rhett can’t help it. he likes to watch link fall apart like this, a sweaty mess, mouth open around choked off and desperate sounds, back arching as rhett fucks him. and he likes it when link finally blissfully falls apart.

rhett watches link’s face contort, his brows knitting so tight he’ll have a headache later, hands searching for something to hold onto. he’s almost there and he hasn’t even been touched since rhett got him up here. rhett loves it when he’s so horny for it that he cums untouched.

this time there’s an edge to it, a sting, and rhett can’t help himself from catching link’s eye, watching when he finally focuses enough to catch on.

“he fuck you better than i can, baby?”

and link loses it, jizzes all over himself in thick spurts, seemingly never ending as rhett screws him through it and he keeps cumming, speechless with it. he clenches around rhett’s cock, still a tease even when he’s just blown his load so hard he’s probably seeing stars. rhett likes that part, too.

link starts muttering little yeah’s and come on’s, fighting the over sensitivity and squeezing around rhett’s dick to milk it out of him. doesn’t take much, he was already about there, so when link sits up and drags fingers through the mess and reaches between them to feel where rhett’s fucking him and slick him up, that does him in. his hips stutter and he moans and folds in on himself, nearly loses his footing and takes link with him.

after a moment he finds he’s got his face buried in link’s neck, breathing evening out, mouth still hanging loose in satisfaction. link’s got him held up with an arm around his back, other propping himself up on the desk so he doesn’t fall.

takes a second but he gets himself together enough to unstick himself from link’s body. his dick slips out and with it a trickle of his release. link’s quiet moan and the way his ass clenches makes him chuckle and use his middle finger to plug it back in.

“it’s so gross when you do that.”

“you love it,” rhett laughs again and link flutters around him, sighing in resignation.

his blush is back. rhett sees it traveling from his cheeks to his neck to his chest. he’s embarassed, probably a little turned on still if the way his dick gives a valiant effort at twitching is anything to go by. but overall he’s spent and he lays back.

it’s quiet for a moment as rhett just waits for link to chill, to get himself together enough to face rhett’s amused stare. when he finally looks he has this softness there, in his eyes and around his mouth, only for rhett.

“you know you’re the only one,” he states it simply, quietly, pink in his cheeks flaring up for a moment.

rhett gathers him into a hug and kisses his temple.

“as if id ever believe john mayer could fuck you as good as me,” he whispers.

“oh my god. i hate you.”

rhett shakes his head, knowing better.

“nah, you love me.”

[cupiiid]

//March 27th 1967//

Chris heard the door close from her place on the floor. "Babe, I'm home!" Ginny's cheery voice bounced from the doorway. She heard the clatter of keys and the dropping of a bag. it all she could think about was how much of a disaster her day had been. First, she'd been late to the office because her train had been late, then she realised she'd forgotten her lunch and finally, the asshole higher-ups had humiliated her again because she was a woman. If was bullshit! She was better than half the fuckers there.

"Honey?" Chris was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of her lover's voice searching for her.

"'M in here, Gin," she whined from the floor of their living room. Before she knew it, Ginny was standing over her, a confused look on her face, tilting he'd head in that adorable way she did that made her look a lot like a puppy, a habit she'd adopted from Neil.

"What're you doing down there, love?" Chris groaned again and put her hands over her eyes. She felt Ginny sit down next to her and pull her head into her lap, gently stroking her hair.

"Rough day?" She asked gently. Chris nodded, not removing her hands from her face. "D'you wanna talk about it." Chris sighed.

"It's just been a bunch of shit honestly." She removed her hands to get a look at Ginny, resting them on her stomach instead. She saw her lover's face harden.

"Is it those squares from the office again? If they've messed with you again, I'll kill them myself." Chris huffed a laugh at her lover's antics.

"It's just the normal stuff, no need to get involved." Ginny gave an irritated sigh.

"It's not fine, Chris. They're treating you like shit for no reason. Your writing is incredible! Why does it matter that you're a woman?" Chris smiled up at her, the other woman didn't notice, too caught up in her antics. "It's such bullshit! Do you think Todd would have to go through shit like that? No. You've worked just as hard as he has and and people still don't take you seriously." Chris hummed and traced Ginny's lips with her fingers.

"Todd still has to deal with a lot of shit. Being a woman just isn't one of them." Ginny frowned.

"Yeah, that's true. Still sucks though. I hate having to watch people belittle you. You're the most amazing person I've ever met." Chris grinned and sat up, facing her lover. She took the brunette's face in her hands.

"Look, it sucks. I'm not going to tell you it doesn't. Everyday, I wish it wasn't like this and that I'd be respected by everyone but that's just the way it is." Ginny was about to cut in but she didn't let her. "But, that doesn't mean I'm going to stop fighting. I've earned my place here. Plus, I have you and Todd and Neil and Charlie and while I'd love outside approval, the only real approval I need is you guys'." Ginny's hands came up and over her own, smiling proudly.

"I love you. I love you so much." Chris leaned forward and met her in a dizzying kiss, trying to communicate the pure love and adoration she had for the woman in front of her.

"I love you too." She whispered into her lips. "I love you more than anything." Ginny's lips traveled down her throat and for a while, she didn't think of work (or anything other than Ginny for that matter) at all.

Some while later, the two of them sat of the couch together, watching the Andy Griffith Show. It was a nice evening, it was sprinkling lightly outside and the cool weather made Chris feel better. Around five thirty, Ginny checked her watch.

"Shit," she muttered. Chris pressed a kiss to her jaw.

"What's wrong, love?"

"Todd's out late tonight, meeting with someone about his book or something and I don't think he left Neil anything to eat." Chris snickered. Neil, as lovely as he was, couldn't cook for shit. If they left him to his own devices, he'd end up with burnt mac and cheese and half the kitchen blacked with soot.

"Should we invite him over for dinner then?" Ginny looked at her.

"Are you sure? We can just relax with the two of us if you're not up to it."

"Have him over, he is your husband after all." Ginny huffed before speaking.

"You know that's only a technicality, Noel!" She said before playfully hitting Chris on the shoulder as she laughed. Once their laughter died down, Ginny pressed her lips go Chris' in a silent thank you.

It was true. Earlier that year, all four of them had a wedding ceremony. First, a hurried one at a cheap chapel where Neil and Ginny exchanged vows (trying their hardest to make the other laugh) before Chris and Todd did the same thing (also making up total bullshit). Then, after that trainwreck, once they were legally married to avoid suspicion, the four met their friends in Chris and Ginny's living room for a real (and very much illegal) wedding.

Neil and Todd went first, Charlie as Neil's best man and Jeff as Todd's while Knox 'officiated' the rest of them crowded around in the way too small room and cheered once they kissed at the end.

Ginny and Chris were second. It's still the happiest day of her life. Even though she's legally married to Todd, the look on Ginny's face when she read her vows and the hollering and champagne and cake made everything worth it. Cameron was her own best man, Charlie's partner, Alex, being Ginny's (those two had made fast friends and they were overjoyed to be Ginny's best person)

They were luckier than most. They had managed to find a house for people like them in New York, two buildings connected by a basement door. Chris and Ginny lived in one with Neil and Todd in the other, creating an allusion of two straight couples living next to each other instead of the truth, one person from each household being able to switch quickly if necessary. She wouldn't give up this little life if hers for the world.

Chris got up to start making the pasta as Ginny ran to go fetch Neil. As the water was boiling, the two brunette's trailed into the kitchen, Neil carrying a bottle. He smiled brightly when he saw her.

"Chris! Thank you for having me over." He pressed a kiss to her cheek before passing the bottle to Ginny and leaning against their dining table. "I brought some wine as a way to thank you." He smiled his classic Neil Perry grin as Ginny examined the label.

"Neil," she snorted, reading the label. "this is grape juice." Chris burst out laughing as Neil hurried over and took the bottle from Ginny.

"No, no, I could've sworn this was wine." The two women laughed at Neil's fumbling.

"Jesus Perry, you get one role without me and you become a mess!" It was true, for one of the first times in their careers, Neil had gotten a rather large role without her. Shortly after, Ginny had managed to snag an equally impressive part in another show but it still felt weird not seeing them together.

Neil grinned and rolled his eyes. "Well, it'll have to do."

Neil sat at the dining table as they worked on the spaghetti, not trusting him to help after what happened last time. Once the dish was done, the three of them migrated to the living room with their plates and glasses of grape juice.

They squished on the couch that was really only made for two (there was another couch plus a couple of arm chairs but that couch had the best view of the television and none of them were going to give that up) and watched some sappy soap opera that was playing while laughing at the characters and talking about their days.

"...and then Lizzie stepped on my toes again!" The girls wheezed, almost falling off the couch in the process. "It's not funny! This is the seventh time it's happened!" Ginny wiped tears from her eyes.

"Like you didn't do that when I taught you how to dance, you hypocrite!" Neil waved his hand around wildly.

"Yeah- when I was seventeen!" The hysterics dies down after a while and they all sat in a comfortable silence.

"Do you remember when I taught you to dance so you could impress Todd at the Welton-Henley dance in highschool? The one Chris snuck into." Neil nodded along knowingly. Chris looked at them shocked.

"That's what you two were up to?" She asked. Neil nodded.

"Yep. And if didn't even work." He sighed. Chris looked at him indignantly.

"Are you kidding?!? You should have seen him, he was all over you when you danced with Ginny. We couldn't stop looking at you two all night." Neil blushed before realising her words.

"Wait- we? You were looking at Gin?" Now it was Chris' turn to flush as she felt Ginny's eyes on her.

"Well... yeah. That's what got Todd and I bonding in the first place. Both of our pining for two hopeless theatre kids." She was met with two sharp 'hey!'s.

After Neil had left, they got into their bed and Ginny circled her arms around Chris' waist, resting her head on the nape of her neck. Chris hummed in content. "Was what you said earlier true? About watching me that dance?" Chris laughed and placed her hands on top of Ginny's.

"Of course. I couldn't take my eyes off you. I drank so much spiked punch just to get away from the feeling really." She felt a soft press of lips to her neck.

"I love you, Chris. I love you so much I don't even know how to describe it." Chris turned in her arms to face her lover.

"You're such a sap." She said lightly, tracing her face with her fingers. Ginny closed her eyes and reveled in the feeling. "I love you too. So much." A smile tugged on the brunette's lips.

Chris' life wasn't perfect by any means. She was living as a lesbian with a secret lover in 1967 and trying to make her way as a journalist in a male dominated industry while misogyny ran rampant without consequence. It would always be hard, at least to a degree, but right here, in bed with the person she loved more than anything in this world, all was good.

[number-1-kuaidul-fanboy]

Punch Out Halloween Headcanons

In the spirit of Halloween, here are some headcanons for what the Punch Out characters would do during this spooky season. This sort of ties into my mansion AU where they all live together in a mansion but that’s the only context you need to understand this.

Glass Joe

-Isn’t the biggest fan of candy.

-Bakes/cooks his own Halloween sweets, like cookies and cupcakes that he loves decorating.

-Favourite halloween food is candy apples.

-Doesn’t like horror movies.

-Goes through haunted houses with the others and squeals at the jumpscares.

-Makes his own costumes. They’re all incredibly silly but he tries to be scary. Nobody has the heart to tell him he isn’t.

-Really likes pocky, which Hondo introduced to him.

Von Kaiser

-Screams while giving out candy and throws them at the kids

-Doesn’t dress up.

-Helps Glass Joe decorate cookies and cupcakes.

-Watches horror movies and goes to haunted houses to prove he isn’t a coward. Ends up clinging to someone the whole time.

-Tries to go easy on the candy.

-Favourite candy is Reese’s

Disco Kid

-Dresses as musical characters or musicians. Has gone as Michael Jackson multiple times.

-Listens and dances to Thriller all the time.

-Calls October the “Spookay Season,”

-Lies about his age to go trick or treating “One is never too old for free candy!” “I’m a Disco Kid!”

-Goes to haunted houses and parties as well.

-Gets scared watching scary movies.

-Favourite candy is Starburst.

-Absolutely splurges on the candy.

King Hippo

-Eats all of the candy.

-Would try to eat it all before Halloween if it was bought pre-emptively.

-Sits at home and eats the candy.

-Is confused when the others watch horror movies.

Piston Hondo

-Gives out traditional japanese candies to trick or treaters and introduced these candies to the others.

-His favourite candy is Apollo. (A Japanese candy.)

-Still tries to eat somewhat healthy on Halloween, going easy on the candy and eating regular meals.

-Isn’t the biggest fan of American candy. “It has too much sugar.”

-Drives the others to and from parties if they need him to, but doesn’t attend himself.

-If he wears a costume at all, I could see him going as a samurai.

Bear Hugger

-Would 100% dress as a bear and you can’t convince me otherwise.

-Also splurges on candy.

-Favourite is Mike n’ Ikes.

-Watches horror movies with the others just to spend time with them.

-Loves going to parties too.

-Likes bobbing for apples.

-Gets the others to carve pumpkins with him and decorate the front of the mansion with them.

Great Tiger

-He would either be a cat or a tiger for Halloween. Either way, it’s a pretty minimalist costume.

-Each of his clones have the costume too.

-Didn’t really know what Halloween was until living in America so he just sort of goes along with what the others are doing.

-Helps the others put up decorations super high.

-Teleports away if something startles him in a haunted house. The others have trouble finding him after.

-Favourite candy is Sour Patch Kids. Would also love anything remotely spicy.

-Definitely pulls some pranks with his magic. “It’s trick or treat after all.”

-Is mostly pretty chill at the parties.

-Goes with Don Flamenco and Disco Kid when the latter trick or treats just to look at all the weird decorations (and low-key to spend time with his friends.)

Don Flamenco

-Gets super excited about putting up extravagant decorations all around the mansion and seeing all the fabulous costumes.

-Great Tiger often has to help him put the decorations in increasingly crazy places. (ie: the chandelier, the roof). Disco Kid also tries to help.

-Absolutely LOVES pocky and has definitely played the game with Carmen and maybe the others boxers at some point.

-Tries to pick a different costume every year. This year it’s a vampire.

-Goes to haunted houses with the others and is very dramatic when jumpscared. Is the same when watching horror movies.

-Brings the fruit punch to the party.

-Doesn’t have a favourite candy. Just eats all of them.

-He and Disco Kid play all of the Halloween themed songs on Just Dance and try to get Tiger involved too.

Aran Ryan

-PRANKS GALORE.

-Seriously, he’s always a prankster but he goes even more extreme on Halloween.

-Goes to multiple parties in one night, often stealing candy and wine from each.

-For some reason I like the idea of him dressing as a werewolf.

-Headbutts the water to bob for apples.

-Drinks a crap ton of alcohol as well. “It’s Halloween, I can splurge!”

-Brings alcohol to spike his punch with.

-Would definitely grief someone’s house with toilet paper.

-The most chill thing he will do is watch horror movies. In fact, he probably started that trend.

-Favourite candy is gummy worms. Probably also likes candy corn.

-Drags the others to corn mazes.

-Jumps in piles of leaves right after the others finish raking it. (Okay this one isn’t really Halloween themed but it’s something he would do.)

Soda Popinski

-He and Aran Ryan attend parties together, mixing every drink just to experiment.

-Will also help with his pranks.

-Also didn’t really know what Halloween was before America.

-Would go as a mummy. I don’t know why this came to mind, but I want it to be a thing.

-Loves any type of chocolate.

-Gives out cans of normal soda to trick or treaters. The kids love it.

-Bit of a scaredy cat when it comes to horror movies. Aran Ryan tries to awkwardly comfort him.

Aran: It’s just a dead person.

Soda: THAT IS THE PROBLEM, ARAN!

Bald Bull

-Doesn’t dress up.

-Questions the hell out of everything. (In broken english) “Why do you break the orange vegetables? What is this nonsense?!”

-Follows Bear Hugger around the whole night.

-Helps him carve pumpkins, even though it confuses him greatly.

-Viciously feasts on the candy. His favourite is Snickers.

-Bites lollipops/suckers into pieces, scaring the shit out of everyone.

-Is generally unfazed by the horror movies. If something does scare him, he will lash out at the screen.

-Tries to scare off trick or treaters.

SMM

-Would throw a party at his own mansion, inviting tons of people.

-Has the most over the top decorations, making Don super jealous.

-Tons of alcohol and candy.

-Aran and Soda grief his place and crash the party.

Mr. Sandman

-Wore a zombie costume on a dare from Disco Kid.

-He’s kinda like Bald Bull but more chill and knows what Halloween is.

-He loved trick or treating as a kid and totally went as Mike Tyson one year.

-Also bites lollipops and suckers.

-Gives out candy, since he really isn’t into the parties or haunted houses like the others.

-Scares the kids, but is more light-hearted about it.

-Watches horror movies with the others and isn’t scared at all.

-Will help Glass Joe with his Halloween snacks if requested.

-Sandman generally isn’t a prankster, but he might prank Little Mac.

-He likes the really sweet candy the best and his favourite is Hershey’s.

Doc Louis

-Loves handing out candy to the kids and often does it with Hondo and Sandman.

-Probably dresses as something cute, like a dog or something.

-Obviously really loves chocolate bars.

-Will buy the king sized ones on Halloween, with Three Musketeers and Milky Ways being his favourites.

-Along with Hondo, he tries to make sure nobody is getting into too much trouble.

-Will ride around the neighborhood on his bike to look at all the decorations. Little Mac will jog after him.

[darkjanet2]

Drusilla's Soul Chapter 10

Back in San Francisco, Ca

Drusilla’s house-

Drusilla was training in her home. She was doing kickboxing, punching a bag, she was doing bench press and weightlifting. And of course she was doing Meditation to calm her mind, it treated anxiety, depression, pain, and gained her sanity. After she finished training, she took a hot shower washing her hair with Herbal Essences with the fragrance of rose hips. She moaned with bliss as she massaged her scalp and then rinsed the suds from her head. She then picked out Olay Total effects 7 Body Wash and poured into the loofah and washing her ivory, naked body to make her skin smooth and soft. Now she turned off the shower and blindly picked out a white towel around her body and got out of the shower.

Drusilla put on a silk lilac camisole and short, and she blow-dried her brunette hair. She sprayed deodorant in her armpits. She went to the living room and watched TV. In a few seconds later, she turned on her iPhone X to logged in her social media. She wondered what Brittney and David were talking about, this app was called Tinder, right? Yes, she remembered that night talking about the app to start on a date. She wasn’t quiet sure how to use it, but she would give it a try. She already created an account a night ago, she logged in, to her curiosity, she clicked the tutorial to learn how to do setting, locations, maximum distance, gender, and age. Now she finally understood. She began to create her profile to picture herself, her name, her age, her age, and her location. She was a woman who seeking men.

She read “About you” profile description.

‘About me? Hmm…’ Drusilla thought.

She wrote it about herself that she liked reading books, playing video game, cooking, playing with her cat. She then wrote her current job that she was a private investigator. And when she was done, she began to seek handsome men. Of course, she had sexual experience with Angelus and Spike, but they were long dead in Boxer Rebellion in China. They no longer terrorized them. Now that Drusilla was a heroine, and she saved people from horrendous vampires.

Now she began to seek handsome men in profiles, she tapped likes, crosses, and super likes.

A screen suddenly popped up a notification on her phone, she tapped it. It revealed a redhead drew cut hairstyle, fair skin, green eyes, muscular, wearing a gray sweatshirt and red jeans. He was handsome, and his name was Nicholas. He was 26, and he was from Trenton, NJ.

Nicholas: Hi, how are you?

Drusilla replied.

Drusilla: Hi. I’m fine. And you?

Nicholas: I’m doing fine.

Drusilla: That’s good to hear. :)

Nicholas: What are you doing?

Drusilla: Nothing, just watching TV.

Nicholas: Are you bored?

Drusilla: Not really. I think it’s my first time to use Tinder. A friend of mine told me that night she wanted me to chat any people. You know, like dating.

Nicholas: Ah, I see. You’re here for a date.

Drusilla: Hahaha, I don’t know. I’m quite kinda nervous.

Nicholas: Oh, don’t be. Maybe I can help you to overcome your nervousness and socially awkward.

Drusilla: Really? You’ll help me?

Nicholas: Of course. Here, let me send you a link.

Nicholas sent her a link and Drusilla click the link. She watched the video of how to overcome your socially awkward and make those conversations smoothly. And when she finished, she thanked Nicholas for the advice.

20 Minutes Later

Drusilla had chatted so many guys, thanks to Nicholas’ help. Everything went smoothly. It was really fun to chat many people on the internet. She went to the kitchen to get pig blood. She poured into the mug and warmed it up in the microwave. She took out the mug from the microwave and sat on a couch to relax. She heard ding notification from her phone. She looked at notification from Tinder app that said you got matched. Curiously, she opened her Tinder app to reveal a handsome man in his mid-20s. He had midnight black hair, grey eyes, muscular, white T-shirt with black leather. His name was Leon. He was from San Francisco that Drusilla lived in the same city.

Leon: Hi, how are you doing?

Drusilla: I’m fine. How about yourself?

Leon: I’m okay. What are you doing?

Drusilla: I’m drinking my tea. And what about you?

Leon: I’m working on my music production. I’m a DJ producer.

Drusilla: Oh, that sounds neat.

Leon: Yeah, do you like music?

Drusilla: Of course, I’m a music lover.

Leon: Lol, well, you’ve got a lot of fun, huh?

Leon: What’s your favorite genre?

Drusilla: I like techno, dance, pop, country, and rock.

Leon: Cool. I like hip-hop, dance, trance, techno, and electronic.

Drusilla: That’s awesome.

Leon: Lol, well, I’ve never seen a girl who has such beauty.

Drusilla: Lol, you’re making me blush, Leon.

Leon: Oh, am I? I’ve never seen you around here before. Can you show me a photo of you?

Drusilla: My photo?

Leon: Yeah. I wanna see what you look like.

Drusilla: Show me first.

Leon sent himself a photo to her, revealing a handsome guy putting hands in his pockets wearing a black leather jacket, white shirt, blue jeans, and white sneakers.

Drusilla: You’re so handsome.

Leon: Thanks. And yours?

Drusilla: Okay.

Drusilla sent herself a photo to him wearing a silk lilac camisole and shorts in a sexy pose, revealing her cleavage a bit from her camisole.

Leon: You’re so gorgeous.

Drusilla: Thank you.

Leon: Hey, I was wondering if you want to go out with me.

Drusilla: Yeah, sure. Wanna start a tomorrow night?

Leon: Yeah, tomorrow will be perfect. How about we go to dining place?

Drusilla: I think I know the place. It’s one of my favorite dining restaurant called The Big 4. How about this?

Leon: Perfect. I will see you tomorrow night. Meet me 6 PM, okay? ;)

Drusilla: Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow, Leon.

End of conversation.

‘Yes! Yes! He asked me out!’ Drusilla thought, jumping excitedly. ‘Better mark my calendar.’ She marked the calendar it was her first date tomorrow at six o’clock in the night. She couldn’t wait.

The Next Night

Drusilla caught an Uber to ride down to the dining restaurant. She glanced at her watch it was 5:45 PM. It was 15 minutes before her arrival at 6:00 PM. She had to be there for her first date. The Uber driver had arrived to his destination, she thanked the driver and got out of his car. She scanned around the area looking for Leon. With a sound of car honking caught her attention. It was a black Mercedes-Benz. A man got out of his car and walked toward Drusilla.

“Hi, are you Drusilla?” he asked.

“Yes, I am. And you are Leon?” She asked.

“That’s me. How are you tonight?” Leon asked.

“I’m doing great. I got here early.” said Drusilla.

“That’s great. So, shall we have a bite to eat?” asked Leon.

Drusilla nodded, “Yeah. Let’s go.”

They entered the dining restaurant, the host welcomed them and guided them to the dining table and gave them a menu. The waiter asked them what they want to order. Leon ordered Cioppino and Drusilla ordered salmon. He offered them a red wine. Their orders would be here in 30 minutes.

“I love how this restaurant is so huge. You can hear the piano playing. It’s marvelous.” said Leon.

“I know, I’m just glad I chose the right place. And I’m glad I meet you for the first time.” said Drusilla, smiling.

Leon laughed, “I know, right? This place is gorgeous that I’ve never been in there before.”

“So I say this is your first time to being in here in the restaurant, indeed.” said Drusilla.

“Hm, you’re very sharp-witted.” said Leon.

“So, uh, how’s your family doing?” She asked.

“Oh, they’re alright. My family and I are very close,” Leon said. “ We talked through things. My parents are so amazing, they’re brilliant.”

“That’s nice. I had a family, well… I lost my family when I was very young. They died in a sort of accident.” said Drusilla, sadly.

Of course, she had to lie. Her family was killed by Angelus in right front of her. He mentally tortured her mind that melt away her sanity before she sired by Angelus. She shed a tear a bit, and when Leon felt sympathetic toward her and held her hand. Drusilla looked at Leon in the eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Dru. I didn’t realize.” said Leon.

“Uh, no. It’s fine. I’m just get over with.” said Drusilla, wiped her tears.

The waiter finally had their order, and they started to eat.

After they finished eating their food and desserts and paid the food bill. They bid farewell to the host and walked to Leon’s car. Leon drove Drusilla home. They had so much fun tonight. Leon had arrived to Drusilla’s house. Drusilla gave him a kiss.

“Thanks for riding me home.” smiled Drusilla.

“Oh, it’s no problem. Here, take my card. Call me when you need me.” said Leon, gave Drusilla a business card.

“I will. Good night.” said Drusilla.

“Good night.” said Leon, began to depart at Drusilla’s house.

Drusilla entered her housed and closed the door behind her. She sighed. She was so exhausted tonight. She took off her heeled sandals and walked to the bathroom upstairs. She unzipped her red dress and put on a robe. She turned on hot water for a bath. She turned on a water jet, she had a jacuzzi tub. She poured bubble bath and Epsom salt into the tub. She tore the rose petal and sprinkled into the tub. She turned off the water. She went downstairs to the kitchen to get a bucket of ice with champagne, and picked out the wine glass from the cabinet, and she went back upstairs to the bathroom. Next, she found some white candles from the closet. She poured herself a champagne, lighted those candles, and turned off the light with the beautiful alight candles. She took off her robe and turned on a radio with jazz music. She picked a glass of champagne and got into the tub and relax.

After she bathed, she dried herself and put on a lilac nightgown, and she brushed her teeth. And now she blew all the candles and went to sleep.

[jovialyouthmusic]

Girls’ Night Out

A multiple AU piece of fun featuring my female LIs

The boys find out what the girls are up to. How will they react?

Word Count 1761

A/N Sorry for the delay, I got bogged down and didn’t write for a couple of days - but my muse is back!

4 Busted!

Elizabeth eagerly drank the white creamy concoction Sophia had handed her.

‘Woah, slow down darling, that packs quite a punch’ Lucy shouted.

‘Punch?’ she shouted back ‘We have that at Christmas. Mama allows cook to put brandy in it’

‘Close enough’ replied Lucy ‘Just don’t gulp it, you’ll be sick’

‘I’ve never actually had this before, it looks exactly like…’ started Charlotte, peering at her glass, but Sophia made a gesture, and she shut her mouth, putting her hand over it.

‘Careful, we don’t want to gross Lizzy out’ Sophia muttered.

‘She wouldn’t know’ Lucy added.

‘Yeah, but that’s a conversation I don’t want to have’ Sophia said wryly.

‘Hey, we should totally use our nicknames – have you noticed – Lucy, Lottie and Lizzy – oh, and Soph’ Lucy’s face dropped on the last name. Sophia shrugged as if it didn’t bother her. They had all drunk their ‘cocktail’ and then Lucy had got up and started to bob and sway with the music, waving her arms in the air. Sophia followed suit and held out her hand to Lizzy.

‘Come on, let’s hit the dance floor’ she smiled, but Lizzy shook her head. Lucy had already gone, and Charlotte put her hand on Lizzy’s arm

‘It’s okay darling, you need to loosen up a little first’ she said ‘I’ll sit with her’ she announced to Sophia, who nodded and followed Lucy. Charlotte turned back to the young woman.

‘So tell me about John’ she said ‘How did you meet?’

‘He was invited to one of father’s tea parties – our parents moved in the same circles but I’d never met him.’ she explained ‘He retired from the Navy due to an injury, and father heard he had some interesting tales to tell’

‘Was he considered a good match?’ Charlotte asked ‘Most folk nowadays can choose who they marry, but being future Queen meant I had to find someone suitable that Father approved of, just like you’

‘Women can choose?’ Lizzy said, wide eyed. ‘Of course, the lower classes could in my day, but father was – is - a Duke, so it’s important that I marry well’

‘I completely understand’ Charlotte said, placing her hand on her arm ‘John must have been a good match’

‘Actually, I was betrothed to another when we met’ she admitted ‘Thankfully I found out in time what sort of man my previous intended was, and then he disgraced himself running up gambling debts, and I was released from the engagement’

‘And so you are marrying someone you love’ Charlotte smiled ���As have I – it was not easy, but I persuaded Father what a fine man he was’ The two women sat and talked about John and Drake until the other two came back to the table, flushed and tired.

‘One more round then we’ll go on to another club’ Sophia said

‘What’s wrong with this one?’ asked Charlotte

‘It wouldn’t be a proper night out if we just stayed in the same place, Lottie’ Lucy shouted across the table. She looked at Lizzy ‘How do you feel? Do you think you could handle another drink?’ Lizzy pursed her lips in thought.

‘I’m not sure. Perhaps something different this time’ Lucy narrowed her eyes.

‘Okay, do you all trust me?’ Charlotte looked a little uneasy, so she sighed ‘to order drinks’ Lucy went on ‘after all, I did reputedly work in a bar in New York’ Lizzy looked at her

‘You worked? In a place like this?’ she said, awestruck

‘Not exactly like this, but yes Lizzy, women do, you know’

‘Go ahead Lucy’ Charlotte said ‘surprise us – but I’m paying this time’

‘Put your money away, the drinks are on Les’ Lucy grinned, and got up to go to the bar. She didn’t take long, and returned with a tray. She put a glass down in front of Lizzy.

‘Have you ever had Earl Grey tea?’ she asked Lizzy. She perked up, her eyes shining

‘Oh I love Earl Grey – it’s the latest thing…’ she looked puzzled ‘or at least it was for Mama. It’s – was – very expensive, but so lovely, so delicate.’

‘Well this is a spiked Arnold Palmer’ she explained ‘Made with Earl Grey and lemonade, with a dash of sherry, some lemon and maple syrup – that’s like honey. It’s not too strong, so I thought it would suit you’ Lizzy eagerly took her glass and started to sip at it, her eyebrows going up in appreciation.

‘Okay Luce – what about me?’ asked Sophia, and Lucy passed her a green drink

‘This is a Japanese slipper – midori, Cointreau and lemon juice, nice and light’ Sophia took a sip and declared it delicious, while Lucy went on to present Charlotte with a cosmo. ‘Vodka, triple sec, cranberry juice, and freshly squeezed or sweetened lime juice. Very sophisticated for my fellow Queen, born a princess unlike me.’ she announced. Charlotte inclined her head regally and tasted it, smiling appreciatively.

‘What have you got?’ Lizzy asked curiously, looking at the tray, which had two glasses, one of them a shot. Lucy grinned as she held up the yellowish cocktail first

‘What else but a pornstar martini?’ she announced, taking a sip. Sophia choked and spluttered halfway through her drink, and Charlotte passed her hand over her face and rolled her eyes.

‘Porn star?’ asked Lizzy ‘What’s that?’

-------

The fresh air hit Lizzy as they left the club. She felt a little dizzy and held on to Charlotte’s arm. She wasn’t unused to alcohol as she often drank wine with dinner, but the cocktails did not taste the same. They were sweet or tart and seemed innocent, but she recognised when she got a little tipsy, and had gone a little beyond that. Lucy lead the way, stalking along in her high heels, elegant and confident. Charlotte still retained a regal air but seemed a little more relaxed, while Sophia had gotten a little giggly. She had explained to her what a porn star was, and Lizzy felt a little overwhelmed. Women might be more free as to what they did with their lives, but some were just as badly off as the prostitutes of her day.

‘Come on, I know just where to go’ Lucy announced. She stopped short as a broad chested man stepped in front of her and barred her way.

‘Good evening ladies’ he said in a deep baritone.

‘Bas!’ Sophia cried in a shocked tone ‘What are you – how did you find us?’ He cleared his throat, and four other men appeared beside him. They didn’t seem threatening but Lizzy felt a little apprehensive, despite Sophia seeming to recognise the first man.

‘We put two and two together’ he continued, motioning to his companions ‘Lake here worked out you’re out on the…’ he was cut short as Lizzy surged forward with a cry.

‘John!’ she shouted gleefully, but Lucy put her arm out to prevent her being reunited with her fiancé. As John’s eyes swept over her, she felt naked in the impossibly short garment her friends had persuaded her to wear. She stopped short, her cheeks burning yet again. His eyes had widened at first, but he took in the other women and his gaze softened as he surmised that what she wore was perfectly normal to all the others standing regarding each other.

‘Lizzy’ he said softly. Lucy cleared her throat

‘This is strictly girls only’ she asserted ‘You know, a hen night, to celebrate Lizzy’s last night as a single woman’

‘But’ Lizzy said ‘I want to marry John’ she gazed at him adoringly ‘I love him’ Lucy snorted

‘It’s traditional’ she insisted, standing firm in front of the party of men.

‘Bas, you didn’t need to chase us up’ scolded Sophia ‘We’re having fun – maybe you boys should go and do the same’ The other three men exchanged looks – . which of them did Lucy lay claim to? It was all a bit much to keep up with. However, Sophia stood, hands on hips in front of her partner, but she wasn’t showing any affection.

‘You never know what might happen’ he was saying defensively, and Sophia scoffed, pushing him in the chest.

‘Bas, you know I can look after myself, and Lottie and Lucy are no pushovers.’ She waved her arms angrily ‘Plus this is a virtual construct; Les helped us put it together, so nothing bad can happen to us’ He reached out toward her placatingly, but she stood back and put her hand up to him. ‘Back off Bas, we’re going to a club, and you boys can go and amuse yourself somewhere else’ Lizzy had managed to move close to John without being noticed, and he reached out to take her hand.

‘It’s okay if you want to stay with your friends Lizzy’ he said softly ‘Soon we’ll be together, I don’t mind’

‘I’m sorry about the clothes’ she whispered ‘I’d far rather be wearing my new ballgown – or my wedding dress’ He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. She shivered with happiness.

‘I don’t mind what you wear’ he said simply ‘You’re my Lizzy, no matter what’ Sophia turned to look at them, and sighed.

‘If you want to call it a night – if you don’t want to carry on with us, Lizzy, that’s fine’ she said, then turned back to Bas ‘But I’m staying out, and any of you ladies are welcome to paint the town red with me’ she said defiantly. Lizzy looked at John, and he squeezed her hand.

‘Do what you’re comfortable with’ he said gently ‘Whatever you want to do is fine by me, my darling.’ She turned to address the other three women.

‘You all have been so kind to me’ she said ‘and the things you wear and the things you do are strange to me – but I’d like to finish what we started.’ She looked back at John ‘I would also like to have a little time alone with John before the wedding if that’s possible’ He nodded

‘Very well.’ He called over to the other men ‘Gentlemen, as you were so kind as to awake me and  unite me with my fiancée, I propose that we spend some time at my club while the ladies enjoy themselves. Perhaps we can meet them when they’ve had their fun’ Lucy grinned

‘Sounds like a deal to me. Soph, Lottie – what do you think?’

[theangriestpea]

Crowned : four

Summary: Two blonde princesses, two dark-haired princes, and one plotting marquess. Lily is in love with a secret admirer. Shanna doesn’t want to ascend to the throne. Jughead wants to spend the day writing poetry. Sweet Pea would rather be out on his horse. And Reggie just wants to be king. <ao3> <masterlist>

Pairing: Sweet Pea x OC, Jughead Jones x OC

Word Count: 5.2k+

Warnings: Mention of blurred lines of consent. 

A/N: FINALLY! I know everyone has been waiting so patiently for this and I’m so happy to finally have it out for everyone! I don’t think this part is as good as the previous three but...that’s because it’s mostly filler with a little backstory. This series will be a total of six parts! After that I will release oneshots based in this universe though! Also special thanks to @the-gargoyle-queen​ for the top and bottom moodboards! 

Part Four: Blackmail

A soft groan sounded in the dark bedroom as heavy eyelids fluttered open. The blonde princess looked around in the darkness, disoriented and confused. This sure felt like her bed, but she didn’t remember falling asleep here. She also didn’t recall a warm body lying next to her. Panic raced through her like one of her prized horses as she felt over a hard chest clad in soft material. Who the hell was in her bed?!

The body let out a deep huff of annoyance as she started shoving him to get him away from her. He simply rolled over in protest so that his back was to her before taking in a deep breath and letting it back out.

Shanna reached over and cut on the lamp on her bedside table, the dim light illuminating both her and the stranger. Her eyes went to the dark head of hair that was sticking in every which direction. “Sweet Pea?” She asked, confused as to why he was laying with her. She vaguely remembered falling asleep against him in the stable, however there was still light outside when she ran into him. Had she really slept until sundown?

He didn’t respond to her, still obviously asleep. Had he stayed here the whole time? Didn’t he have work to do for their fathers? Still, it was a little heartwarming to think that he’d taken care of her. She had actually been able to sleep solidly and had felt safe with him nearby.

The heir let out a small, frustrated sigh. Why couldn’t things have worked out the other way around? Where Jughead was the one here with her instead of Sweet Pea. It wasn’t that she had any romantic feelings towards the crown prince but it would have made things a lot easier. For one, whoever was blackmailing her wouldn’t have any leverage over her.

Her eyes caught sight of a thin slip of white paper sitting just under the door frame that led to the hallway. She slipped out of bed carefully as her heart pounded. The muscles in her chest contracted as she picked it up to read it.

Dear Royal Slut, give me the crown or I will tell everyone during the wedding what you’ve done.

She knew then. She knew exactly who it was that had spotted them. Her stomach tightened with the same intensity as her chest. Shanna quickly rushed back over to Sweet Pea’s side, shaking him hard in an attempt to wake him up. She called his name out once more.

An annoyed look crossed the once peaceful prince’s face before his eyes opened to see Shanna’s frantic expression. He sat up in the bed, feeling almost as disoriented as she had when she woke up. “You should be resting,” he chastised her groggily.

“I know who it is. I know who sent it. He sent another.” Shanna said, showing the note to him. Sweet Pea grabbed it to examine the letter. His confused expression turned angry when he read the insult.

“Who is it?” Sweet Pea asked in a voice that sounded with murderous intent. The notion that he needed to protect her at all costs rose within him. She was the future queen of both of their kingdoms. He would not tolerate someone demeaning her like this.

Shanna wasn’t sure if she should tell him or not. What would he do to him? She bit her lip anxiously as he stared at her, waiting for an answer. After a moment of silence he started to get frustrated, “Shanna, tell me.”

She sat down on the bed next to his legs and sighed. “Marquess Mantle.” She whispered. “Something happened…before the alliance…where I might have told him that I could make him king. But then I found out he was just using me to get to the throne so I called it off. He’s been out for blood ever since.”

Sweet Peas gaze softened just a fraction at the sight of her face falling in shame. It wasn’t difficult to figure out that she had been with him previously. Obviously that was why she promised the crown. “He was your first.”

Her eyes filled with tears as she nodded her head. Sleeping with Reggie was something of a mistake. She hadn’t told anyone because she had mixed feelings about it. There was a time when she really cared about him and she thought he cared about her. But then she overheard him with his father, boasting how he’d be king. The thought of being used made her sick to her stomach.

“There’s more to the story, isn’t there?” Sweet Pea asked as he pulled her into his lap. Shanna rested her head against his chest, sighing softly in response. There was a lot more. However, she wasn’t sure if she should elaborate.

Sweet Pea’s hand moved up the back of her camisole to rub along her bare spine. “Shanna, you can tell me.” He prodded, hoping she’d open up to him. Despite how he had acted previously, he did truly care about her. It was odd. He’d never fallen for anyone before. He didn’t think it was even possible for him to feel this way.

Shanna tensed in his strong arms before taking a deep breath to try and reel in her emotions. “Before my eighteenth birthday, Reggie and I had been getting close. Almost courting, though my father would have never allowed us to call it that. There was a huge party for my birthday and he has this tradition of spiking the punch at every ball.”

His hand trailed up her back once more before slowly dragging downwards to soothe her as she sniffled. “So we both drank a lot and I had this wine I’d been saving to share with him. We went into one of the bedrooms to just hang out, or I thought. We were friends and I liked him a lot. He was so nice and sweet to me. He was always making me laugh. I guess the alcohol just went to my head because before I knew it we were kissing and it just snowballed from there…”

Sweet Pea stopped rubbing her back. He almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The rage that surged through his head roared in his ears. “He took your virginity when you were drunk?” He asked in a low and serious tone. Shanna suddenly felt like she had done something wrong, like maybe she was right in thinking she shouldn’t have said anything. “He took advantage of you, Shanna-“

Lav quickly cut him off, “it wasn’t like that.” She realized how she worded things made it sound like something worse than it was. “It was consensual. I wanted to do it, or at the time I did. Reggie was just as drunk as I was. Neither of us were thinking straight. I do regret it but only because of what I heard him say the next day.”

The prince settled down a bit, though he was still highly irritated. She was the princess and Reggie was just a marquess. Not that Sweet Pea was one to be hung up on social status seeing as he slept with plenty of women that were considered commoners. He silently admitted to himself that it was a double standard. But that didn’t really make him any less angry. He went back to rubbing her back to let her know that it was okay to continue.

Lav relaxed against him once more. He could hear the tears welling up in her eyes by the sound of her voice. “I overheard him talking to the Duke. He was telling him that he had sealed the deal for the crown. That he would be king. I meant nothing to him. He was just using my title.” Finally she did let out a stifled sob at the memory. “It broke my heart. I don’t understand what I did to deserve that. Why me? Why not someone else. Some other princess in some other kingdom?”

Sweet Pea kissed the top of her shaking head gently. “You didn’t do anything to deserve it, Shanna. It could have happened to any crown princess, he just happened to choose you because his father is the duke. He knew he could get close to you so he took full advantage of that. He manipulated you and that is not your fault.” His voice was soft as he spoke, praying that it wouldn’t portray how thoroughly pissed off he was inside.

She quickly rubbed her eyes to will away any tears that threatened to fall. This was something she hadn’t told anyone, not even Lily. Probably because she felt so guilty for doing it in the first place. Ultimately she still felt that she was the one in the wrong for allowing herself to be swayed by the thought of true romance. Perhaps that’s why things were so easy with Sweet Pea. She had no expectations of him having any kind of actual feelings for her. She was prepared for heartbreak. It lessens the blow.

That didn’t mean that she wasn’t hurting though. Inside her heart she had stuffed down the anxiety of the wedding and the anger of being given away to someone she didn’t love. She feared if the lock on that box ever came loose, then she may explode and finally jump off into the deep end. How was she supposed to run a country if she was going insane?

At least Jughead was a gentleman with no expectations of her. He had not pressured her in the slightest. He had allowed her to make a majority of the wedding decisions, only chiming in to back her up against the vivacious wedding planner. The few things he had a say in were only his attire and ring style, things that directly affected him and not her.

“What are we going to do?” Lav asked softly, wondering what he was thinking at the moment. Sweet Pea was still very much convinced that Reggie had taken full advantage of the situation he put himself into. If he breathed a word of this to the king then the marquess would probably be tortured behind recognition. The only thing stopping him was Shanna’s insistence that it was completely consensual.

Sweet Pea sighed in quiet aggravation, “what we’re not going to do is give him what he wants. Our people need this alliance too much to risk it over some rapist. He would be a terrible king.”

“It wasn’t- Sweet Pea, stop calling it that!” Shanna hissed at him. “I’m going to be a terrible queen anyway so what does it even matter?”

He scoffed at her for two reasons: one for insisting that Reggie wasn’t in the wrong for taking her virginity and two for saying that she’d be a bad queen. He had no reason to believe that she couldn’t do it. Despite how dramatic she was, Shanna had an ounce of charisma that made people like her. It was hard to not be drawn in.

Not that he’d ever tell that to her or anyone else.

“You just stay here, I need to sort this out.” Sweet Pea said, removing her from his lap so he could finally get off the bed. She looked hurt, suddenly feeling cold in the dimly lit room.

“It’s the middle of the night,” Shanna commented, glancing out at the night sky, “everyone is probably asleep. Can’t it wait?”

He shot her a look that told her that no, it couldn’t wait. She sighed in defeat, sinking back against the plush pillows laying against her headboard. “Fine. Go on.”

Before his brain could tell him not to, he kissed the top of her head before quickly leaving. The princess couldn’t help but smile. 

Shanna settled down further into the bed and let out a contented sigh. Sweet Pea withheld his own smile as he walked out, gently closing the door behind him. He immediately went next door to Lily’s room and started banging on the door.

Inside the dark room, Lily woke with a start at the sound. Her heart began to race, wondering who could possibly be trying to come in at this hour. Even worse Jughead was naked in bed next to her. If anyone found out, anyone, then the whole thing could be undone.

She shook the heavily sleeping prince awake. Jughead let out a groan in response before stirring. He heard the knocks and knew them all too well. “It’s my brother,” He breathed out, “what does he want at three in the morning?”

Lily scoffed in annoyance at Jughead, how could he be so sure? “You should hide in case it isn’t while I get dressed.” She slid out of bed and threw on a nightgown, not bothering with undergarments because surely whatever this person needed wouldn’t be much.

For good measure, she threw her fluffy robe on over the gown. Before the opened the shaking door, she turned on a light making Jughead groan yet again in displeasure. She shot him a look before cracking open the door.

And sure enough Sweet Pea was on the other side, looking angrier than ever. Did he have another argument with his sister? “What the hell do you want at this hour, you horrible troll?!” She snapped in a low whisper.

Sweet Pea pushed his way inside and noticed his unclothed brother in Lily’s bed. An eyebrow lifted as he looked between the two of them. Suddenly Lily’s face was hot and a bead of sweat formed on her brow. “Now listen-“

“It’s about time.” Sweet Pea said, “I thought you’d die a virgin, Jughead.”

Jughead just flipped his middle finger up in response. Lily was bright red from head to toe, her heart dropping to her stomach. At least her husband to be didn’t mind her infidelity, though Jughead had reassured her that he wouldn’t. “Why are you here?” She asked again, becoming more and more aggravated.

“I know who deflowered your sister,” Sweet Pea said, “and I don’t think it was consensual."

Lily paled then, the red draining from her face, “w-what?” She asked, fear blossoming in her chest that someone had hurt her sister in such a way. “Who?! I’ll kill him, castrate him, anything, just tell me!”

“Reginald Mantle.” The dark prince answered, “She is convinced that she consented but I don’t think she did. I think he got her drunk on purpose to take advantage of her, that slimy piece of shit. Next time I see him I’m going to punch him so hard that his nasal bone is going to impale his brain.”

Jughead sat up then, feeling how grave this situation was. “Tell us exactly what happened, Sweet Pea. Why does she not think it was rape when you do?”

“It was her birthday. He spiked the punch like he always does at they got drunk. They went to a bedroom where she had a bottle of wine hidden and they drank more. Eventually it led to sex. She overheard him telling his father that he’d sealed the deal for the crown.” Sweet Pea said, become more and more frantic with his words.

Lily looked at him flatly, “Sweet Pea, that wasn’t rape. That was consensual drunk sex. If my sister says she consented to it, then she did. You’re just upset that she slept with him of all people. Because you’re right, he is a piece of shit. And maybe he’s not totally innocent in all this but it doesn’t sound like he meant for anything to happen and that it just did.”

But, the prince would not listen to this voice of reason. He huffed, puffing out his cheeks and chest. “He’s blackmailing her now, calling her a slut, and saying that if he isn’t made king that he’ll tell everyone what she’s done…who she’s done. He caught us in the stable the other day…”

Jughead and Lily were both silent for the longest time. The only sound in the room was the ticking of a clock and the sound Sweet Pea’s clothes made when he shifted his weight from one foot to the other. The seriousness of the situation fell onto all three of them. If word got out that the future queen slept with the wrong prince then…things would not fare well for any of them. Worst of all, both of their kingdoms would suffer greatly.

“Is this why she’s been so sick lately?” Lily finally asked in a small and concerned voice, “Because he’s been harassing her?” She still did not believe what Reggie did was assault, rather the dealing of a teenage boy.

Sweet Pea nodded, “yes. He keeps sending her threatening notes and when she sleeps she keeps having nightmares. When she woke up just now there was another one under the door. This can’t happen. He can’t be king and no one can know what happened between any of us.”

“You’re right.” Jughead said with a soft exhale. “We’ll figure it out. Find some way to appease Reggie. Tomorrow after the wedding planning session we can talk more and come up with a plan. But right now, we all need some sleep. Especially Shanna, so go back over there and help her feel safe.”

“But-“ Sweet Pea tried to protest but Jughead lifted his hand to him stubbornly to silence him. Pea just scoffed in response to his older brother, unable to say anything against such a motion. He opened his mouth to say something else but quickly shut it. He shook his head before walking out and back into Shanna’s room as he was ordered.

Jug settled back down onto the bed and a heavy sigh. Lily got back into bed after taking off her robe, leaving on her nightgown. She smiled softly at him, “I didn’t know you were a virgin too…I thought for sure you had done it before…”

He turned onto his side to face her, brushing his knuckles across her cheek. “I’m not much like my brother. Especially when it comes to treating women. I had never really found the right person to be with and I was never in any rush. You were the perfect one to break that vow with.”

Lily’s smile was nothing but warm and loving, “I love you, my prince.”

“I love you, my princess.”

|\/\/|

The next day Shanna was much livelier during their wedding planning session. Jughead couldn’t help from shooting her relieved smiles as he watched her battle their wedding planner effortlessly. She clearly had put a lot of thought into a wedding she didn’t truly want. It was kind of amusing honestly.

The session lasted two and a half hours. Jughead finally managed to get the two women to stop bickering back and forth long enough to proclaim that they should stop for the day. A small headache was forming around his temples from all of the arguing. Maybe it was better when Shanna was sick.

No, that’s not true. But, her not dwelling on the impending doom of blackmail was good for her. Jughead had a plan, one he thought was actually pretty solid, and even though Sweet Pea was usually the master strategist between them he was quite pleased with his work.

As soon as the Veronica Lodge had left, he turned to Shanna once more. “We’re to meet with Lily and Sweet Pea now, to discuss what we’re going to do about Reggie.”

Her once bright expression quickly fell. “Oh…” She mumbled under her breath. Her feelings of fear and despair quickly resurfacing. “All of us?”

“Yes,” Jughead replied as he stood. He held a hand to her to help her up. “Come, we’ll do it over tea. It’s about time for that, isn’t it?”

Shanna snorted back a laugh as she looked at the clock, “you’re about an hour late, Forsythe, but I think we can manage something.”

Unbeknownst to her, Jughead had set up an elaborate tea party in one of the many meeting rooms. Tiny finger sandwiches, little pastries and sweets, and kettles hot with water along with over a dozen loose leaf options to choose from. He had done it for the girls mostly. Sweet Pea wasn’t a huge tea fan. The proportions of the food was way too small for his tastes.

When he led her into the room, he noticed her frown shift back in an appreciative smile. Perhaps marrying him wouldn’t be all bad if he could set up something like this to surprise her. Too bad Jughead will never care about you, Sweet Pea’s voice echoed in her mind savagely. She frowned again, her smile gone almost the instant after it had fully formed.

Jughead didn’t notice it fall as he was distracted by Lily coming down the hall with Sweet Pea grumbling in tow. Jug grinned at them, shifting his stance to be more welcoming as his fiancée slipped into the room quietly.

Shanna sat down at the table and chose a Yunnan white tea and began to spoon the leaves into the silver strainer before closing it and popping it into her cup. She poured the hot water from the kettle into it to let it steep properly.

As she was doing this the other three sat down. Sweet Pea and Lily were at either of her sides, and Jughead was across from her. “You did all this, Jug?” Lily asked, Shanna barely heard her due to how deep in thought she was. 

“I did. I thought you two might enjoy it. Sweet Pea loathes this sort of thing.” Jughead said as he picked out a simple Earl Grey. He leafed the mix into his strainer before adding water to his cup and plopping it in. “I thought it would be nice to have some tea while I tell you all my plan.” 

Sweet Pea looked through the blends and saw a blood orange cinnamon tea he figured he could try. Despite tea being perhaps the least manliest thing in the planet, deep down he did enjoy it. Ever the front he put up lest his fragile masculinity crumble. He prepared his tea impatiently, waiting to hear what Jughead had to propose. 

Lily chose a delicate lavender buttercream tea she had been dying to try. Once prepared she added a few cubes of sugar and a splash of cream. When she stirred she made sure not to hit the sides of the cup with her spoon. 

Shanna was staring into the brown liquid of her teacup, steam swirling over top of it. Normally she added eight sugars but this time she just watched the cup as if some revelation would come over her. Of course, nothing did. 

Her lover, not to be confused with her betrothed, reached under the table and patted her leg in an attempt to comfort her. Unlike her sister who was making bedroom eyes at Jughead, Sweet Pea noticed that Shanna was being unusually demure. 

“Alright, spit it out.” Sweet Pea said, annoyed that he could tend to the much more important matter of strategizing for the impending war. He had troops to train, men to bring up to the North. He lost so much time last night that he desperately needed to make up. 

Jughead took a sip of his tea, having added neither sugar nor creamer to it. “What proof does Reggie have of any of this? Did he say? Is there any evidence of either time you had sex, princess?” 

Shanna was barely listening still. She only looked up from her cup to answer after Lily kicked her lightly in the shin. “None that I’m aware of.” She muttered finally. 

“That’s what I thought.” Jughead said, an eager smile spreading across his face. “All the king has is his word against the four of ours. Who is he more apt to believe?” 

She bit her lip nervously as Lily’s lit up with excitement. “So we just deny it all?” The younger princess asked in order to clarify exactly what the crown prince was suggesting. 

He nodded in agreement, “King Owens is going to believe his daughters over some marquess that he doesn’t even care for to begin with. He might even strip the duke of his title if he gets angry enough over the accusation. How does that sound, Shanna?” 

There was a heavy silence between the four of them. All eyes were on the crown princess, waiting on her to decree this plan to be the best suited. She had her doubts. What if Reggie did have some kind of evidence that she didn’t know about? 

Finally she spoke, her voice showing her uncertainty, “that sounds fine.” 

The other three frowned, “What is the matter?” Jughead asked finally. Shanna looked away from her fiance and back down at her tea. 

“There is a lot at stake here.” She replied, “and it all relies on Reggie not having any evidence of my...unfaithfulness to my duty.” She hated that word: unfaithful. It left a foul and bitter taste in her mouth much like an improperly steeped, unsweetened tea. 

Lily reached over and placed one of her small hands on top of her sister’s in an attempt to reassure her that everything was going to be alright. “Lavie, it’ll be okay. Even if he does have evidence, we’ll tell daddy that he doctored it to smudge your name. He only has power if we give it to him.” 

Shanna looked to her sister and smiled softly. She supposed she was right in her last statement. If they all actively ignored Reggie, then he was sure to shrivel up from lack of attention and realize that his plan was never going to work. Ultimately though, the old heartache of what he’d done to her had her feeling like her heart was in a million pieces that would never fit back together properly. It was a terribly depressing thought. 

Sweet Pea took a gulp of his tea and made a disgusted face. It was, of course, totally false and he actually quite enjoyed the citrusy flavor. “Why can’t we have coffee?” He asked, “Tea is disgusting.” 

Jughead rolled his eyes at his brother, “because tea is better at this time of day.” He replied, wondering why Sweet Pea even made a cup if he was just going to complain. The Southside prince that wasn’t quite a Jones began to stuff finger sandwiches into his mouth unceremoniously. 

The princesses both stared at him with disgust as Jug held back an amused laugh at the looks on their faces. How many cucumber sandwiches could one man fit into his mouth? 

Half a tea stand to be exact. He seemed to swallow it whole in one giant gulp. Shanna’s look turned to that of amazement as she absentmindedly added sugar to her tea. Eight lumps, just as the doctor ordered. 

Meanwhile Lily looked horrified at Sweet Pea’s manners or lack thereof. Jughead was totally used to it and was claiming a triangle sandwich for himself before his brother ate them all. “Why do I have to marry the troll again?” She asked the other two. 

Shanna snorted, knowing fully well that if either of them had any say then it would be her marrying the troll. “Because you’re the youngest.” Jughead replied in a sad tone. “Fate demands our royal families be star crossed.” 

Sweet Pea held back a burp, feeling attacked all of a sudden by Lily. “I have to marry the shortest girl in the kingdom, where is my pity party?” At once he felt two swift kicks to his both his shins, one from each girl at the table. He let out a groan of pain. 

“I’m only an inch taller than her, jackass.” Lav spat at him as she drank some of her tea. An inch didn’t make much of a difference to someone as tall as Sweet Pea, and she totally knew that. After all, he called her dwarf all the time. Insensitive jerk. 

His response was to roll his eyes at her, swallowing down the last of his tea before standing up. “I have to go, I have too much work to do to play tea time with you three.” He didn’t even bother to push his chair back under the table as he stalked out. 

Lily huffed as he left, “what a brute.” She said before giving a pair of innocent eyes to Jughead. “Do you have work to do too?” 

Jughead tapped the edge of his saucer. “I believe I have some free time. Shanna, would you like to join us?” 

Shanna turned her nose up at him, “I don’t know what kind of girl you think I am, Jughead Jones, but I’m not having a threesome with my sister.” She stood up and left, not bothering to finish her drink or eat any of the colorful petit fours. 

Lily turned a dozen different shades of pink as Jughead laughed. He hadn’t meant it in a sexual way but the thought was amusing enough. A few rogue fantasies quickly played out in his head before he felt his arm being pinched. 

“Get your mind out of whatever disgusting gutter its lying in.” Lily said with a pout. 

He smiled at her before grabbing her hand with his and kissing the back of it gently. “My mind doesn’t even know what a gutter looks like, Lillian.” He said with a bat of his dark eyelashes. Lily couldn’t help but giggle. 

|\/\/|

One Month Later

Reggie sat in his father’s study anxiously awaiting the duke to arrive. He hadn’t heard a peep from the princess and was beginning to worry that his plan wouldn’t work. But it had to work, he had no choice. If it didn’t, then he had no idea what his father might do to him. 

The Duke arrived looking sordid as ever. He sat down behind his large wooden desk, dark eyes silently prodding his son for a report. The unasked question to the marquess as to how his plans for the crown were going. 

“I have the princess where I want her,” Reggie replied to his father in hopes that it would be enough to pacify him. “I am meeting with her soon to discuss the trade off. She always goes to the stable after sundown to brush down her horses. I’ll confront her there. She has no choice but to make me king.” 

The older man stared down at his son, not totally convinced but also not completely displeased either. “The wedding is only a week away, Reggie. You are running out of time.” 

“She can’t refuse me any longer.” Reggie said, straining to keep the desperation out of his voice. He took out a photo and slid them over. The duke picked them up and eyed them. 

“Are you sure this is hers?” He asked, skeptical. 

He nodded before producing an almost identical photo to pair with it. “And this is the younger sister. I have more to back this, but I just thought photos would suffice for our meeting tonight.” 

Duke Mantle took out a cigar, cut it, and lit it. He took a long puff, a wicked grin spreading across his face. “You did well, my son. After Owens sees this, he will have no choice but to make you king.”

[space-malex]

Michael and Addiction

I’ve seen some discussion about this so I wanted to give my two cents. There are some people that believe that Michael has an addiction to alcohol (and probably acetone in conjunction). There are some that believe he doesn’t have an addiction really but he could face that in the future now that he doesn’t need it to numb the pain of his hand. The arguments I see are that Michael is able to function and help the group even though we hear all of these things about how he’s this rowdy guy who drinks all the time and starts fights. If he were truly addicted, he wouldn’t be able to function the way he does. I would like to counter by saying that I believe Michael is 100% a functioning alcoholic/addict. Here’s the thing: prior to the pilot, Michael was in a kind of stasis. He had nothing going on and nothing to really pull himself together for. The fact that he was able to help the group during the season and seemed to get his act together is admirable. But the thing is: getting arrested or drunken fighting isn’t the only sign of an alcoholic. Someone can seem normal and still be one.

We do know he spikes his stuff with acetone, though we don’t know how often, but when you really observe Michael throughout the season, you understand the hold that alcohol at the very least truly has on him.

Ep 1: We meet him in a jail cell, not yet sobered up and find out he was arrested for drunken bar fighting at the wild pony. He also drinks at the reunion, both in the earlier convo with Isobel and later after the convo with Alex.

Ep 2: Drinks at crashdown during Liz interrogation and later at wild pony.

Ep 3: Drinks during convo with Isobel after morning after (literally just grabs random warm beer off shelf and drinks it down). Drinks at drive in. Manes references the bar fighting leading to weekly arrests.

Ep 4: Drinks at bar. Has acetone he tries to give to Isobel later in the ep.

Ep 5: Drinks by fire with Isobel.

Ep 6: We don’t see him drink in flashbacks except acetone when he is celebrating his 14th bday and later when he’s injured. End of ep still by fire with Isobel with beer beside him.

Ep 7: Bottles of booze and wine on counter during scene with Isobel. Drinks by fire in scene with Max. Drinks at wild pony.

Ep 8: First time we don’t see him drinking during the ep but Izzy is literally dying and he spends the day trying to save her. And he ends the ep at the wild pony and I highly doubt he just left after dropping off the sign.

Ep 9: Drinks in wild pony (we don’t see it bc scene cuts off but drink poured for him). Drinks in Texas bar.

Ep 10: Drinks with Isobel in trailer. Goes to Wild Pony and asks for drinks but gets booted.

Ep 11: We don’t see Michael drink. However: while he’s pulling the all-nighter, his hand hurts him. He grabs his jacket to presumably go to his trailer before he’s drugged by Noah. It’s pretty easy to make the assumption that he was making the trip to get acetone and booze. So he’s interrupted before he can drink but it was his plan. And afterward, there is no booze in the bunker in the scenes with Max, and then too much of a crisis with Noah, otherwise he probably would have had drinks, which leads us to

Ep 12: A couple days all the Noah stuff, morning drinking in his truck bed when Alex shows up. We don’t see him drink again this ep after that scene. But - when he shows up to Max’s at the end of the ep, it’s nighttime and he’s literally stumbling and looks super messed up. When Kyle and Alex have their earlier convo outside the airstream, it’s still light out, so you do the math. It’s been a while between the prison and when Michael confronts Max. Granted, we do not actually see him drink before he shows up, but I am almost positive that he is drunk when he arrives to Max’s place. He’s more emotional than we ever see him especially around Max, he’s loud, he stumbles, he’s reckless and super ready to fight and punches Max.

Ep 13: Which would make him still drunk at the beginning of this ep. The strange camera effects and extreme close ups also support this. Michael hurts Max with his powers which he clearly didn’t want to do and seems genuinely surprised by. Michael is usually in control. He drags Noah out and again seems messy when he does so. And he ends the season- where else?- in a bar.

The fact is, when you watch Michael throughout the season, it is very rare that he is not either drinking or having just drank or is about to drink. Especially when compared to the other characters. He’s the only one who we see drinking pretty much all the time.

Now an extrapolated and possibly unpopular opinion follows so please prepare:

I also do believe that there is at least a part of Michael going to Maria at the end of the season as being almost the same thing as going to the bar. And please understand I am not saying anything negative about Maria here, it’s her damn job. Nor am I saying Michael does not care about or have real feelings for Maria. He definitely does. I am saying that Maria is a bartender at a place he frequents and is associated with comfort for him because he is a functioning alcoholic who drinks there all the time. It makes total sense that he associates her automatically with the same comfort that he gets from his addiction. He is super fucked up at the end of the season, and he already relies on alcohol to get by in his regular life. Being with someone that is directly associated with something that brings him regular comfort and relief makes complete sense for an addict.

[imagine-a-killingharmony]

Drunk V3 Boys!

How about a s/o that has to deal with the v3 boys getting super drunk and then the after math of how is the hangover. ( bonus points if drunk kokichi says the " Finland" spongebob meme) please and ty

Quickly, just imagine them as adults like I am- underage drinking is a big fat “no”, look at me being an... dork. But anyway In the less dork-part let’s say this... I’m literally a giant mess who hasn’t ever been drunk or anything, I don’t really know the effects so we’re going to use those anime-type-of-drunk which is very likely VERY inaccurate or... somewhat-realistic I don’t know. But woah.

Kiibo (Error! Error! Overheating!)

After coming back from his last check-up from Miu you were expecting to be cuddled up close with Kiibo on the couch, watching nextflix- some cheesy Disney movie which you’ve already seen thousands of time before... that’s what you thought....

Till Kiibo walked in adjusted by an trembling Miu who had her arm slung around him, she looked down on the verge of tears muttering about being “so disrespected”, Kiibo sluggishly rolls his head up bursts of steam expanded from every inch of his body.

“... U... Uuuh... there was a function I added inside of em’ to test some booze I was plannin’ on drinking... it was... uh... successful but... J-Just take him- I don’t want to be fuckin’ called out anymore!”

Miu threw Kiibo in your direction running back from once she came, wiping at her eyes as she whined about “how mean” he was... you could only watch Kiibo stir awake, nervousness pricked at your stomach as you realized she made Kiibo try an alcoholic... BEVERAGE!

“... (S/O)?” Kiibo glances up at you, blinking once or twice as he took in his surroundings, you asked if he was okay- he groggily nodded his head. “Never better (S/O)... but... Miu... I-I was just telling her about how stupid it is that she puts herself down almost all the time when she has a brilliant mind, then her very inappropriate attitude- which she presents herself to cover up that wall of self-esteem issues she has... Ah... then there was me getting onto the fact that most people are uncomfortable with the sexual intuendos she has- and for some odd reason before I could say anymore she dragged me here...”

“... I rebooted on the way... once or twice...”

“... what.” Oh. Oh my god... He... What? Kiibo said that?

“... Yes... Hey (S/O) actually I-I have some things to say about you too, look me in the eyes, look at me right now please...” Kiibo cups your face, he looks you right in the eyes, those aren’t the soft loving eyes you know- those are eyes that... are going to fucking destroy you.

Kiibo holds your face tight, escape is impossible, he sluggishly rolls his head as a soft frown falls on his face.

“... You have your errors yourself actually... like... how you...”

...

...

You failed... you are absolutely burnt, just turned into soot by the end of his rant, he’s just sleeping peacefully under the blankets that you had gotten for “cuddle night”, you don’t feel soft at all- you just feel absolutely WRECKED.

Shuichi Saihara (Sad Drunk)

You had both gone out on a party together, specifically a reunion with your classmates which Kokichi was hosting... which already sported red flags but you all didn’t question it, that is until people started to drop like flies... people who drank the punch specifically dropped like flies.

Kaede asked who made the punch... when the relevation that it was Miu and Kokichi themselves it all fell into place like a puzzle, they spiked the goddamn punch.

One of the victims... happened to be Shuichi, a light-weight he hugged your arm tightly slurring and whirling, tears fell down his face as he cried and sobbed about the world.

“... (S-S-S/O!) It’s no fair... I-Iiiii never did anything wrong so why does everything hafta’ be against meeeee...? *hic* it’s unfair.... unfairunfairunfair!”

It’s the fifth time you pat his back, he leans in for a better hold of you so you can give him more affection, he loves that so please do go on, he lets out a slurred hiccup.

“... (S-S/O) a... aaare you seeing anyone...? You always were soooo pretty... and... aaand niiiiice... *hic* and... aaand it make me really happy... I-Iiii wanted to date you since forever ago...”

... How drunk is he to forget the two of you are already dating? “I am.”

Shuichi’s eyes widen, he presses himself up against you with an wail as he starts to cry harder. “Of course yu are- H-Hic- I’m NOT CRYINGF.”

You can’t help but to wonder how he’ll feel in the morning, for now you try to give your poor drunk boyfriend solace as you explain how the two of you are already well- dating.

Luckily, Shuichi falls asleep on your lap while you comfort him, the tears having tired him out... he put his hands around your waist, he bids the world “night night”.

Ryoma Hoshi (Excitable Drunk)

Ryoma wasn’t a heavy drinker, actually he had never drank an drop of the stuff ever, prison doesn’t allow those sort of luxuries, besides he just didn’t want to ruin his reputation by drinking at about fifteen or some shit.

So... he was old enough, the two of you were going on a date here... he’d was just chugging the stuff considering he wanted to see how it tasted, which was rather gross under further consideration... but what he happened to pick up is that he wasn’t feeling all that woozy... guess he ain’t no light-weight.

But he sure ain’t no god, it takes about three whole damn bottles for the effects to start to shine.

...It takes five whole damn bottles for him to actually feel anything, you kept a close eye on your boyfriend as he put the second bottle down with a huff, wiping at his mouth with a “wew”!

“... That was uh, gross taste, heh.” Ryoma pulled his hat up, his cheeks flush slightly pink as he looked around. “Hey. Hey (S/O) you gorgeous son of a bitch look at me.” As soon as you even give him your attention he fingerguns.

... Ryoma wobbly pulls himself up, he doesn’t look like he’ll trip, honestly somehow he still has his balance as he takes your hand.

“... Oh my god I just had an amazing idea. We should adopt,,, a lot of cats,,, not like,,, any cats,,, but... buuuut like an shop full of them,,, and name each of them something silly...” Ryoma’s eyes sparkle deviously. “... Or... like... like... steal everybody’s cats... so we remain the supreme leaders of feline...”

“... Ryoma... do... do you feel tired? Want to take a nap, as amazing ideas as these sound I don’t think your in the right state of mind for... this.” If you let any of this happen, Ryoma’s going to hate himself in the morning.

“I know what I’m doing... I have a license... gimme a sec...” Ryoma pulls out a piece of paper, writes on it, flips it to reveal in sloppy handwriting: “I knwo wat Im do”

You try to survey his features after writing that, all he does is shoot his fingerguns at you.

...Okat you honestly need to take a few pictures of this to show Ryoma later oh my god he’s wobbling towards the door to bring one of those plans he’s mentioned to full-glory, you locked the door for Ryoma, his drunken brain can’t comprehend how to use a step-ladder. You just go to get him some water...

Kaito Momota (... Tired Drunk)

Kaito wouldn’t drink... much, sure, he would totally forge an certificate to like- well, go to space but that was for a good cause! Stuff like drinking was meant to be done for special events and shit otherwise you might get hooked!

And he didn’t actually mean to get drunk on you! He promised he just... kind of mistook the wine in the fridge as the grape panta, he was thirsty- and really fucking tired! Okay? He didn’t expect when he chugged the whole bottle down for the world to... to... hnnnnnn... what’s the word...?

It took a while for you to notice anything was amiss, Kaito had taken himself out of the room to “go get a drink” then he still never came back, so you went to check on your boyfriend to see if he still hadn’t gotten anything, needed some help.

What you didn’t expect to see was Kaito Momota Luminary of the Stars on the floor looking back up at the ceiling mindlessly, with that bottle of wine held tightly in his hands.

“... D... Doo... yu... think it’d be a bd idea if I trie... tried to take a np here? Jst... slep untl a hangover fcks me the hell up, everything hur ts.”

... Oh god! That’s even more errors than usual, so it’s likely on purpose! Kaito’s DRUNK!

You go to get some water for him in the fridge, Kaito’s still looking at the ceiling talking to himself slightly hushed, you don’t know what he’s thinking but he looks like he’s having an ephiphany about the world.

“Holy... Hly sht (S/O) I jst realized how fuckin... weird that Shuichi’s hair stands up like that... he doesn’t use anything to make it like that so how.”

“... Kaito I don’t think your in the right state of mind to make choices like that...” You offer some water to him, his eyes widen.

“Why... Why is everyone’s hair dyed- Like is it actually dyed? Or is it just natural- how can it be natural tho... unless... oh my god (S/O)... we’re in an anime I can’t believe it.”

“Kaito I think you need an second...”

“No. No I know what I’m sayin- oh my god we’re the main characters in some weird anime (S/O)... that’s the only explanation,,, I have to tell... Tsumugi but my legs won’t work nn nn n n..”

... You just pat his head, Kaito grimaces... he was absolutely wasted so everything he said held no inch of truth in it, you just hoped that soon enough your efforts to help him better bare fruit... So he doesn’t make anymore odd claims like him and his friends are in some “weird anime”!

Winks at the fourth wall.

Rantaro Amami (Immune System Of God)

Rantaro... wasn’t a drinker... well besides those really fancy drinks that he usually saw when you both got out, those always looked like a magical experience to try out so he usually did buy those but... he’s never actually gotten legitimately “drunk”, it may be because he never drinks too much.

Then there was the time that had asked Rantaro if he had ever gotten in all words actually “drunk” he responded with a shrug: “I guess I do...? Uh, I’m usually in the right state of mind afterwards still... enough to walk...”

... This was a topic which needed much more exploration... so you went out to a bar together, you swore that anything he got was on you... he squinted but still he bought some colorful drinks in funny-looking cups, peering towards you while he did...

...

He wasn’t actually drunk even after drinking quite a bit, what is this man, how is his immune system keeping him awake? Rantaro chuckles... “Yeah, I think that’s enough for tonight.. come on let’s go home.”

You either failed or this task is just impossible, you take the hand he offers you and walk outside with him... the only noticeable effect are the times he almost bumps into the wall but other than that... nothing...

He knows how to hold his liquor...

Gonta Gokuhara (Clumsy Drunk)

This was Kokichi’s fault, that’s all you know... he offered something for Gonta, that’s what he told you when he gave you back a stumbling crying boyfriend.

“... How did you even get him to drink this- oh my god! Gonta- baby please go lay down on the couch...” You led Gonta to the couch to sit down, he sobbed loudly into the pillow almost falling off, you gave a harsh glare to the Supreme Leader who chuckled at your displeasure.

“I told him it was “Respect Women Juice! TM! Yeah he really just drank it without an inch of hesitance...! Then he fell over drunk, it was hilarious till I had to actually bring him here.”

Gonta let out another loud sob as he fell over off the couch onto the floor, crying about how “Gonta caaaan’t see...!!!”

“You... are one screwed up... mess of a person Kokichi Ouma...” Pushing Gonta back onto the couch you tried to reassure him everything was alright, Kokichi grinned at you putting both of his hands behind the of his head.

“Oh I know... I know really quite well! Good luck dealing with him!”

Kokichi left the two of you alone together, you just let Gonta cry against you about how everything felt so weird... offering some water and some hugs, you’ll get revenge at Kokichi for this... you swear to it.

Kokichi Ouma (Angry Drunk)

... How... Who the hell had enough of your boyfriend to go and make him chug down so much alchohol he got drunk, god knows, but he was now... here... and slurring about some criticisms you didn’t know he had...

“Like... (S/O) it’s so stupid... instead of like... liiiike... getting mad at me when I insult her she usually gets off on it... it’s so gross,,, like how horny can somebody be (S/O)? How HORNY can you be?”

“... Kokichi... do you need a...” Despite how you tried to chime in he always cut you off, with a half-awake grumble...

“No... No let me say this... Hiiiii... iii... so... so what the hell is with Kaito’s sense of logic....? I know, know for a fact he CAN be stupid enough to literally TRUST everybody he meets, like even if there’s hard proof that their an asshole he’s STILL by their side... what the FUCK.”

“Are you talking about Maki?”

“SHE LITERALLY CHOKED ME ONCE YES, Y ES I MEAN MAKI...!” Kokichi touches his neck, rubbing at it. “Honestly... Maki is such a damn... damn jerk... seriously... she’s made “do you want to die” her punchline to almost any jokes she makes, we get it, your edgy as hell!”

While Kokichi grumbled the both of you didn’t notice the door quietly open up... nor did you notice it until their footsteps were in the right range for you to notice them...

Maki trails into the room with an sweating Kaito Momota by her side, she held a card in her hand with the words: “sorry for making you chug beer” in a rather sloppy handwriting...

“... Makiroll, don’t do this...-“ The astronaut tried to stop the caregiver but it was too late, she was already sprinting towards Kokichi to land a finishing blow...!

“FINLAND!”

[To be continued (But not really)]

Korekiyo Shinguuji (Beutifial,,, ohbnn)

How did he actually... get like this, well you honestly swear to god you don’t know, he just appeared at your doorstep muttering about how beautiful humanity was... in so much typos it was almost impossible to decipher a word of what he said...

“... Korekiyo do... you want some water?”

“... hdhdbnnkklllllln.” Korekiyo press his head against the pillow lethargically, he groaned afterwords grasping at his stomach.

“... Is... Is that a yes? A maybe? A... no?”

“... nnnnnnnnnnz.”

“No it is! No it is...”

“Okay! So do you want to um... take a nap?”

“... nbcbxzzz.”

Well. Well you can’t decipher any of this mess, picking yourself up you go to the kitchen to try and take in all that’s happened today...

“... I’ll just get that water anyway...” You pray to whatever god that exists... to please... pleasepleaseplease never have Korekiyo get drunk again.

[mycatmoo]

ToT Bachelor/ette drunk headcanons

-Cause why the fuck not. I’m bored as fuck right now.

Wayne

-Dude can’t hold a drink

-One cup in and he’s killing it on the dance floor

-And by “killing it” I of course mean he’s drunkily spinning around and acting like no one is watching

-Ford has to drag him back home at the end of the night

Ford

-He can hold a fucking drink

-Like, he can drink entire bottles and only get a little tispy

-But why would he?

-Drinking ruins the liver yo

Lisette

-Also can’t hold a drink, but fares better than Wayne

-Can have a few cups before getting drunk

-And when that happens, she’s just a massive smiley mess

-Would probably give away her flower shop, all her belongings, and her firstborn child if you don’t keep her in check

Ludus

-To absolutely NO ONE’s surprise, he can hold a drink

-Maybe not to Ford’s level, but he can get about half a bottle down before he gets drunk

-Does a lot of stupid shit while drunk

-Iluka and Siluka would totally record him doing said stupid shit instead of helping their drunk friend

Iluka

-Girl can fucking DRINK

-She’s a goddamn MONSTER

-You thought Ford was bad??

-She outpaces him by like 3x

Siluka

-Isn’t as bad as Iluka

-Oh no, SHE IS MUCH WORST

-No one knows how deep down the drinking rabbit hole she can go down, since Iluka always stops her eventually

-Legend has it that she can drink the whole world away

Hinata

-Pretty average drinker

-Never has drinks on his own, but if he’s out with the crew then he’ll have a few drinks

-Usually the most sober after drinking sessions

-Its hard to tell when he’s drunk or not cause he acts very similar to how he does when he’s not drunk

Yuzuki

-Does not drink

-Adamantly refuses

-That shit could probably hurt him

-If he’s at a party, then everybody has the sense not to spike the punch for him and if someone does then Komari will go and fucking punch them

Komari

-Also pretty average

-May occasionally share a drink wit Kasumi

-Prefers sake to any other alcohol

-Do no get her drunk. I repeat, DO NOT GET HER DRUNK

Kasumi

-Probably the most active drinker out of all the Tsuyukusan bachelor/ettes

-Which isn’t saying much

-She also rarely drinks

-May have some wine while grading papers

Inari

-They don’t just refuse to drink, they fucking

-Gives it to the farmer cause their not a monster

-Does Not Drink. He is a guardian deity, AND GUARDIAN DEITIES DO NOT DRINK

-One time, Witchie tried sneaking some wine into their tea, and they immediately passed out

[cornerverse-mlp]

I wrote this post, like, a year and a half ago but I just found it so here I’m throwing it into the void!

Okay, I have no justification of any kind, other than “the other night I rearranged my room, saw my mlp toys on my Percy Jackson shelf, and decided to debate with myself about “if the MLP cast were all in the PJO Universe, who would their godly parent be?”.” 

Obviously they’re all Humans, or well, Demigods, in this AU(Actually, there’s one Mortal), instead of being ponies(I think by default horses are Poseidon territory). That said, their in-show abilities/traits count for what I choose. Same for choosing the ‘godly parent’, meaning that while full Myth(and my interpretations) will be in play, how the gods work in the PJO books count as well. 

I’m also keeping to just the more well-known gods/goddesses. Because while there’s a lot of minor ones and I could probably spend days going down the rabbit hole of Wikipedia articles to find a ‘perfect fit’, why would I do that? For that same reason, I’m also sticking to Greeks instead of trying to balance ‘should I make them Greek or Roman?’. 

So! On that note, this is mostly a list, however, I do add more and give reasons for my choices, even talking of ones I debated about. And a few bonus headcanons.

Twilight Sparkle - I feel like Athena is the obvious choice. I mean, Twi’s intelligent and strategic so Daughter to the Goddess of Wisdom is a good idea, plus she has a pet owl which is one of Athena’s symbols. It’s what most people go with.

However, I’m going with her as a Daughter of Hecate. My reasons?

 First of all, Hecate is Goddess of Magic, and, well, Magic is Twi’s thing. She’s a talented spellcaster, and that’s a big part of her character.

Hecate is also a Goddess of Crossroads, something we see a lot with Twilight, in multiple ways.

She is the character with the most ‘counterparts’, not just her literal Counterpart in Sci-Twi, but metaphorical counterparts, ‘other paths she could have taken’. I mean, there’s Sunset, Starlight, Sci-Twi, Trixie, and also Moondancer that show off places Twilight could have ended up had she chosen differently in life. 

However, Twilight is also the Crossroad for others. She is the character who is trying to lead others down the best path, giving them the choice of where to go. Again, we see this a lot with reforming villains. She offers them a chance to change the path, to turn and go down another. 

Another thing that Hecate is associated with is childbirth and nurturing the young. 

In the show, Twilight earned her Cutie Mark by hatching Spike, and even if she wasn’t his direct mother(I headcanon them more as siblings), she did help to raise him. 

She’s also a teacher, both in usual subjects (as we saw with the CMC in Twilight Time), and in teaching others about friendship(While those characters are not ‘young’, it counts).

Pinkie Pie - Again, it seems like an obvious choice as a Daughter of Dionysus, God of wine, parties, and madness. Okay, we have no idea how Pinkie feels about wine since this is a kids show(Personally, I feel like she shares my tastes and doesn’t care for it.)

Which is why I’m making her a Daughter of Apollo instead. He’s God of the Sun, and Pinkie is a metaphorical ball of sunshine. Other things Apollo is the God of include: Healing, Music, Art, Archery, and also Prophecy.

Pinkie’s relation to Music and Art are obvious, and while we don’t get to see her with a bow, she seems to have good aim. As for Prophecy? Pinkie Sense. She’s canonically able to predict the future. 

Now, you might not think Healing fits in, but it does. After all, isn’t Laughter the best medicine? Okay, jokes aside, while Pinkie isn’t a ‘healer’ in the doctor sense, she’s more like a ‘healer’ in the therapist sense(Obviously not licensed, but you get the idea). When she can’t cheer someone up from just a simple party, she puts her all into working through their problems and getting them to be truly happy again. And that’s a type of healing people forget about alot.

Rarity - Huh. Another one that gets a ‘this has an obvious choice’ category. A Daughter of Aphrodite, Goddess of Beauty, Love and Lust, able to charm any into doing what she wishes. And in terms of the PJO world? She’d fit right in with the others of the Aphrodite Cabin(Well, she’d probably punch Drew in the face but whatever.).

However, once more, I’m going for an odd choice: Daughter of Hades. And before I go into my reasoning, take all the memories of Hades as a villain and anything from Disney and chuck that out a window. Not just here, but in general. Because damn it, he’s not evil. He’s probably one of the most chill of the gods. Stop making him the villain. Even this series only used him as a fakeout villain in the first book. And we don’t talk about the movie. What movie? That doesn’t exist!

Anyway, while Hades is God of the Underworld, he also has a few other things he rules. Hades is also known as the God of Wealth, as all of the precious metals and gems in the Earth were of his domain as well. Rarity and her ability to manipulate Gems reminds me a little bit of Hazel’s abilities(though obviously less cursed(And I know Hazel is technically ‘Pluto’s’ but they’re both the same god and not the same god)).

However, there’s a few other things that made me decide to have Rarity be a Daughter of Hades instead of Aphrodite:

First is the fact that, as much as Aphrodite was a good fit for her in quite a few ways, she is also considered a Goddess of Desire(not just Lust, but all desires and even the fulfillment of said desires). As materialistic as Rarity can be, she’s also the Element of Generosity. While the MLP universe can balance the traits, making her want things but always giving to others as well, putting Desire in her nature feels wrong.

Secondly, within the PJO series, Hades is shown to be very generous, even if it’s a trait rarely seen by the other gods(due to family feuding), but is shown in his relationships with the women he loved.

His love with Persephone, for example. He was kind and patient with her, wishing for her to love him as he did her. He started with magnificent gifts,and took to spending all of his time with her and doing whatever he could to make her happy. He even hired the most skilled (deceased) gardeners in the Underworld to grow a magnificent garden for her. He says that though he is God of Wealth, she is dearer to him than any precious metals or gems.

(Because I know someone will point it out, the whole thing with their relationship and the pomegranate seeds has several interpretations, some happier than others. The PJO version has Persephone truly fall for Hades, and one of the gardeners tricks her with the pomegranate seeds. (My personal interpretation of the story is that Persephone fell for Hades and ate the Pomegranate seeds on purpose so that they wouldn’t be separated. I mean, within actual Greek Myths, they’re the most stable couple with the least affairs))

Back to the books, we have Maria di Angelo. Hades tried to convince her to live in Underworld with him, despite the fact that it would piss off Persephone a bit, to protect her and their kids from the other gods. He insists that he will build her a beautiful golden palace by the River Styx, but doesn’t get a chance to because Zeus kills her first. (He wishes to resurrect her, but even a God of the Underworld must obey the laws of Death.)

While it’s technically ‘Pluto’ and not ‘Hades’, we also have Marie Levesque. He loved her so much he swore on the River Styx to give her anything. When she took him up on that and asked for all the riches of the Underworld, he begs her to ask for anything else, as the greediest wishes come with curses. And even though she ignored the warning and cursed their daughter, he did what he could to protect them. 

Another reason is that I find that most interpretations of the afterlife are Generous, in a way. While there’s definitely punishment in the afterlife, most versions include some version of ‘unless you’re a huge dick you’ll be rewarded with everything that would make you happy’. 

Final reason: the fanfic “In the Twilight of Death” which includes Rarity as a Grim Reaper. It doesn’t really factor in ‘logically’, but tbh I can’t help it. That fic’s good though so check it out.

Applejack - While it’s obvious, I’m not going to pull what I did before and be like ‘this is obvious but..’ thing. Applejack would be a Daughter of Demeter. Goddess of Agriculture and Harvest and all that.

Rainbow Dash - I debated about this one for a while. I thought of using Ares(Rainbow’s middle name is ‘Fight Me’), Zeus(Because God of Sky and Lightning), and even Iris(Because Goddess of the Rainbow).

However, I ended up deciding on her being a Daughter of Nike, Goddess of Victory, Strength, and Speed. It fits quite well. 

Fluttershy - Daughter of Iris. While I considered this for Rainbow Dash, I feel Iris fits Fluttershy more because of the version in the books. I mean, non-violent, only attacks in self defense, a little with the hippie crowd, severely underestimated due to their most known traits(Iris is known for messages and rainbows, Flutters is known for being kind and shy) but will totally kick your ass when needed.

Sunset Shimmer - Okay, I really want to put Hestia, because I associate Sunset with Hestia a lot because of reasons. But apparently Hestia has no kids as she’s one of the Virgin Goddesses. I’m really trying to think of other options. Like

Hecate, because like Twilight she’s Magic

Apollo, because of the Sun connection, good with her hands(art and music)

Athena, because she’s intelligent and strategic

Hephaestus, because she could totally build magic robots(Again, good with her hands) and also fire association

But just.... none of them feel right.

Fuck it! I don’t fucking care. Let’s just pretend that Hestia is like Athena, she creates children through other means and is still an eternal virgin. IDK, maybe they spawn out of her hearth fires. Anyway, Sunset’s a Daughter of Hestia.

Celestia and Luna - I’m putting them together because their headcanons are a bit connected. Okay, so, in this AU they’re either half-sisters or adopted. Celestia is a Daughter of Apollo(because Sun), but Luna is a Mortal.

However, because they’re always together, and because Luna can see through the Mist, she knows all about the whole ‘Demigods’ thing. But this puts Luna in a lot of danger, and Celestia insists she be allowed to come to CHB too so she can protect herself.

Obviously they don’t allow it since Luna’s Mortal, but Celestia decides that instead she’ll train Luna with all the Greek weaponry herself. 

At some point, they’re off on their own somewhere and end up running into some monsters. They handle it beautifully, and catch the attention of Artemis. She invites them both to join her Hunters, which they agree to. Luna took to the life better, being nocturnal and seeming to almost be able to see through the darkness, so she quickly became the Hunters’ Lieutenant

Discord - Son of Eris. Come on. That one’s too perfect.

Chrysalis - Daughter of Aphrodite. Again, kinda perfect on that one.

Cadence -  Can we go three for three on perfection? Yes, because here’s another Daughter of Aphrodite.

Shining Armor - I was debating on this, because he and Twilight are siblings so how should this work? I don’t want him to also be a son of Hecate. So they’re step-siblings on the Mortal side in this AU

I was also debating on whether to make his godly parent Ares or Athena. On one hand, while both are war/battle gods, Athena has a heavier emphasis on strategy. On the other hand, Athena also has heavier emphasis on her non-battle qualities.

Not to disrespect any character and/or gods, but while Shining is intelligent and a good strategist, he doesn’t fit the rest of the Athena kid qualities. So I’m making him a Son of Ares, though a bit more strategic and less bloodthirsty than his godly half-siblings(he gets it from his mom’s side of the family).

Spike - Son of Hephaestus, and definitely has those fire powers. While his character isn’t known for building, I think he could have some skill with it. As for his relationship to Twilight and Shining in this AU: He was adopted by their Mortal Parents. I’ll go more into that later.

Sweetie Belle - Rarity’s half-sister, on the mortal side. Daughter of Apollo. She sucks at healing and if you value your life keep her away from the bows, but her music skill is fantastic. Her prophecy abilities only show up when she’s being sarcastic.

Scootaloo and Flash Sentry - Full siblings(because I headcanon them as such in-show). Children of Athena. An odd choice, but I think it works. We know Flash is a Guard in-show, meaning he’s likely good with fights, and if Scootaloo had a middle name it’d be ‘fight me’, but both have also shown some craftsmanship abilities. Well, Scoots has(working on her scooter and all(also, you have to be smart to calculate those tricks yourself)) and I headcanon that Flash has shown those type abilities as well because the show gives him so little character that anything with him is ‘canon until proven otherwise’ and- Whatever. Rant for another time. 

Big Macintosh - Full sibling with Applejack. Son of Demeter. Self-explanatory.

Applebloom - Daughter of Hephaestus(AJ and Big Mac are her step-siblings in this AU). I chose this because all expected her to get a Cutie Mark for, well, building shit in general. (I’m still a little salty there)

Starlight Glimmer - Daughter of Nemesis, Goddess of Justice/Vengeance/Balance. You can figure out that one on your own.

Diamond Tiara - Either a Daughter of Hades,or another example of me saying ‘fuck it!’ and making her a Daughter of Hestia like Sunset. I am undecided. 

Have a few more headcanons for this AU:

This all would be post-PJO series, because a few things would vary a lot from Canon if it were during-series.I mean, Hades can only loophole kids into the series so many times before someone snaps. Also Luna becoming the Hunter’s Lieutenant would involve Thalia either dying or stepping down. And I want this to be when minor gods/goddesses have their own cabins too, and perhaps CHB has established something similar to New Rome where adult Demigods can just chill(Or Percy said ‘fuck you let us have a safezone to chill as adults’ and had some friends help buy a horse ranch in the middle of bumfucknowhere for people to set up their own town of Demigods. Because I’m pretty sure summer camp has an age limit.)

As for ages, most of them would be the ages I usually headcanon for them: Mane 7(And Flash) are 16-19, younger siblings(And Diamond) are 13/14, older siblings(and Starlight) are in early twenties. Might drop Celestia/Luna/Discord/Chrysalis down to early twenties too. 

I mean, age is irrelevant, as I’m not writing a story with them at these ages. I’m just giving the ages relevance to one another. 

Oh! So, I mentioned the whole Twilight, Shining, and Spike thing and how all that goes down. 

So, Twilight and Shining’s Mortal parents are their in-show parents. Velvet met Ares during her ‘rebel phase’ and had a one-night-stand that resulted in Shining. Night Light met Hecate and had a bit more of a relationship, but it was only a few nights and then she ‘stopped texting back’, allowing him to move on. He soon met Velvet and they fell in love. Then one night Hecate knocks on his door, drops newborn-Twilight into his arms and is like ‘Hey, I had a kid, she’d yours. I can’t take care of her or stay in your life. Bye!’. Despite the confusion, Velvet sticks by him and they get married. Also, imagine that itty bitty Shining pretty much thought Hecate was ‘the stork’ until sex-ed classes. 

Anyway, while both kids are showing various abilities(Some more concerning than others. Shining is the embodiment of ‘Let me see what you have...’ ‘A knife!’), their parents don’t know about Demigods or anything. Just that their kids have powers. They convince them to keep it all secret, which works for a while. Until one year on the last day of school. At the time, Shining’s 11 and in 5th grade, Twi’s 6 and in 1st grade. Spike happens to be going to the same school, though he doesn’t run into them often because he’s in Kindergarten. Spike’s story is that he’s an orphan, his bio mom having either disappeared or abandoned him. The adults weren’t sure about his age but stuck him in Kindergarten(we later find out he’s actually 4 at this time, but he’s a smart kid so he didn’t struggle through it). 

As I said, it’s the last day before summer break(because of course it is), when a monster manages to herd the three of them into an empty classroom. They fight the thing off well enough. Luckily, one of their teachers happened to be one of CHB’s undercover people(maybe a Satyr or a former camper). Unluckily, their teacher has to take them on the run since more monsters are chasing them. 

During their ‘on the run to camp’ time, Twilight and Shining bond with Spike a lot. They all get to camp, and get to properly message their parents(AKA give mom and dad another heart attack because phones are banned but rainbows work fantastic!), and essentially get the rundown on the whole Demigod business. 

Unfortunately, they get separated pretty quick. All three get Claimed, and sent to different cabins. While they slowly get used to sleeping so far apart and do end up making some friends with other campers, they stubbornly refuse to be separated. People try, but it’s hard to argue with the guy with a perfect intimidating stare and knife collection, the girl who has little issue spellcasting when angry, and the toddler with fire powers. 

By the end of the first summer, Twilight and Shining don’t want to leave Spike behind. I mean, his two options are either becoming a year-round camper, or going back into the foster care system. They talk to their parents about it, and it doesn’t take much convincing for them to legally adopt Spike into the family.

Oh, another family thing I’d have to talk about is Pinkie and her family. I’m not quite sure how though. Maybe she’s adopted by them at some point? I don’t usually like making Pinkie the ‘adopted’ one, but I’d kind of have to since she’s third oldest and that’s better than the alternatives. But I don’t think any of her sisters are Demigods. 

Her relationship with the Cakes though! I headcanon differently. So, I’m gonna bump up the twins to elementary school age(7). Anyway, the twins are also Demigods(children of Hermes). Someone’s probably asking ‘uh, wouldn’t that involve an affair?’. Well, I’m just going to go with either 1.)Mr. and Mrs. Cake weren’t together yet or 2.) open relationship?

Anyway, Pinkie met them two years ago. She happened to be hanging in the park near their bakery(because they still own a bakery in this au). The twins go to the park a lot after school, usually with one parent supervising the playground. This time, however, a monster attacks. Since Pinkie was nearby, she leaped into action. She manages to get the cakes to run off, and follows because the monster seems more intent on the easier kill(Aka, she can’t lure it away). 

Eventually, she manages to kill the beast, and the twins are scared but think she’s a superhero. She correctly guessed that Mr. Cake isn’t their bio dad, and asks if there’s been any other ‘incidents’, either attacks or unexplained things happening. She does decide to tell them the truth, showing off her own powers to prove it. After that sinks in, she tells them about CHB, and how it can keep the twins safe, and teach them to defend themselves. 

At first, they’re against it, as they really don’t want their kids to learn something so dangerous. But Pinkie sticks around to protect them, walking them from school in the afternoons and babysitting when they want to go to the park. Monster attacks and weird things become a bit more frequent(mostly because now the Cakes now about this, and also Pinkie can testify that it wasn’t ‘small children with overactive imaginations’).

 So they ask Pinkie about CHB again, how safe is it? She assures them that it’s safe, and that if they want, they can do it just for the summer, pretend it’s a normal summer camp. So yeah, after the school year ends they let Pinkie play navigator and drive to camp. Pinkie helps them with the sign-in process(since Mortals aren’t usually allowed in and she doesn’t have the authority yet), and both Pumpkin and Pound have been going to CHB for the summer since. Pinkie still sticks with them during the other months, protecting, babysitting, and making sure they keep their skills sharp(which terrifies their parents because, uh, you are dual-wielding swords to battle small children??), but they’re happy and safe and Pinkie’s grown on them, so they’re good with it!

I don’t think I have any more specific headcanons on how the others found out/how they got to camp. 

[selfignitingimagines]

Malia- All You Had To Do Was Ask

Request-  hi, could you do number 10 of holiday prompts with Malia? I love your blog and your work, btw, you write so well! /  For the holiday prompts: How about Malia and number 10?

10. “Why are you hiding in the closet?” In which one of you might be a teensy bit afraid of the New Years Eve Fireworks.

A/N: In the closet, under the bed, same thing. I’m loving the Malia love ;)

“Jesus christ, open the door,” you muttered to yourself as you rang Lydia’s doorbell a second time. You shoved your hands back into the pockets of your coat and swayed back and forth on her front porch. It was too cold to stay still.

Finally, the door swung open, but it wasn’t Lydia who answered it. It was Stiles.

“Hey!” he cried, his warm brown eyes lighting up. “God, Y/n I’m so happy you’re here. I miss you y’know? Last time I saw you was like, three days ago.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Have you guys already started drinking?”

“Hey, you’re like, two hours late!” he pointed out, swaying a little as he held open the door for you. “And it’s only thirty minutes till midnight!”

You shook your head and smiled, but you quickly pulled the door from his hands and shut it gently. Now you could feel the warmth coming from Lydia’s foyer, and it felt amazing.

You shrugged off your coat, and hung it up in the nearby closet.

“I could’ve gotten it for you,” Stiles slurred.

You rolled your eyes. “I think I can manage.”

You walked beside him as stumbled his way back toward the rest of the party, which was going at full swing. Music was blaring from speakers in the living room, and the rest of your friends were scattered between there and the kitchen. Alcohol had been precariously placed all along the countertops, and you knew it was just a matter of time before someone broke something.

Lydia herself had a glass of wine in her hand, and when she saw you her eyes went wide. “Shit. Was that you ringing the doorbell?”

“Yep,” you told her. “But it’s okay, Stiles got me.”

Stiles nodded eagerly, and Lydia smiled, twirling a strand of red hair between her fingers. “Get yourself a drink.”

She gestured to an enormous bowl of punch, and you raised your eyebrows. “I thought Scott said we couldn’t get drunk.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I spiked the punch with wolfsbane, but not enough to kill you. It’s just the right dose, and it won’t make you hallucinate either, which is a plus…”

She was still talking, but as you looked across the room, you met the dark eyes of Malia Tate, and that was enough to make everything else melt away. Her gaze seemed to trace down your body, taking in the cocktail dress Lydia had begged you to wear. Now you were glad you had listened.

“Y/n!” Lydia groaned. “You’re not listening.”

“Hm?” you murmured, turning back to her. “Uh, sorry, what were you saying?”

She huffed. “All that super hearing, and no one listens to me anyway. I said, if you’re drinking I’m going to have to take your keys.”

“Uh…” you said, glancing back at Malia, who was leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, watching you in amusement. “I think I’ll pass tonight. Besides, I’m pretty sure your supply of sober people is gonna run out soon.”

She glanced back toward the living room, where Scott, Isaac, Liam, Hayden, and Mason were anything but sober. Kira appeared to be the only one not drinking, watching with a smile on her face as she observed drunk Mario Kart.

You shot Lydia a wink and swiped a water from the cooler on the floor. Then you headed toward Malia.

“Hey,” you told her, taking her in.

She was only wearing jeans, a crop top, and a tan jacket, but you still thought she looked stunning. No one but Malia could pull off everyday clothes at a party like this.

“Hey,” she answered. “You look really fucking good in that dress.”

You felt your skin grow hot. “Lydia picked it out.”

“Hm,” she said, reaching forward to run her fingers along one of the straps. “She has good taste. Not that she’d ever get one of these on me.”

You laughed, trying not to shiver at her touch. “I think you look good no matter what you wear.”

“Do you?” she asked. There was a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Always.”

Malia’s lips twitched. It might have taken her a little while to learn social cues, but now she had enough experience with people to pick up on them. And god, how she loved the way she made your cheeks flush.

It had only been a few months since Scott bit you, but Malia had immediately taken a liking to you. Unlike many other people, you were honest, and you wore your emotions without shame. To her, someone who was floundering to understand what people really meant all the time, it was a welcome change.

“Do you wanna come look at her neighbor’s lights with me? They’re pretty.”

“I would love to,” you told her, taking a sip of your water and setting it down on the counter.

She grinned, reaching out to take your hand. Your fingers were warm in hers as she led you toward Lydia’s den, which was currently empty. You could see a couple empty shot glasses strewn about on the coffee table, but whoever was in there had moved on.

Malia pulled you down onto the big leather couch in front of the bay window, and you felt her warm side pressing against yours. True to her words, Lydia’s neighbors had decorated their house in glowing white lights. They lit up the night and shined through the window, casting a warm glow over you and Malia.

“So,” she began. “How are you handling everything? Scott said you did really good on your full moon.”

“I’m not sure,” you told her honestly. “I was freaking out at first...but then he told me that I couldn’t push it all down. That I had to feel it if I was going to control it. And then I did.”

“And?” she wondered.

“And I was fine,” you said, a little bit of disbelief in your tone.

“Why is that such a surprise to you?” she asked.

“I just heard the stories about everyone. Scott told me how he tried to put his fist through Stiles’ head, and how when Liam turned, Kira had to knock him out with a boat paddle.”

“And me?” Malia asked.

“He said you actually did pretty well.”

“I’m sure he left out the part about me trying to kill everyone as a coyote.”

“No, actually. But I don’t think that counts.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Well, I knew you would be fine.”

You scoffed. “Come on, I know everyone was taking bets on what I’d do.”

“Not me,” she told you honestly. “It didn’t matter to me. I knew you would do better than any of us.”

You looked up at her with shining eyes. “How?”

“I could just tell,” she said quietly. “From the first time I met you, I knew Scott made the right decision. You’re a lot like him y’know? You’re just good, and it doesn’t take anything for you to be that way. It’s just who you are, and I love that about you. I knew you would be fine.”

You flushed, glancing down and away from her deep brown eyes. No one had ever said anything like that to you before.

Malia reached out, placing her hand on your cheek, gently turning your face back to hers. “You don’t have to do that. I see you, Y/n. I always have.”

Her lips were so incredibly close, and all you wanted was to move forward and close the space between the two of you. You might have, if not for the shouting that caused both you and Malia to jump back.

“Ten! Nine! Eight!”

“They’re counting down,” you remarked. “Should we go back in there?”

Malia smiled, and shook her head. She reached forward again, placing a hand on your cheek and running her thumb across your bottom lip.

“Three! Two! One!”

Her lips met yours just as cheers broke out from the living room. You were dimly aware of the sound of Lydia popping a bottle of champagne, but all you could really think about was Malia. Her lips were warm and wanting, and god, how was she such a good kisser?

You wrapped your arms around her waist and pulled her closer, but just as you did, a loud pop echoed in your ears. You jerked away from her with a gasp, and her brow furrowed.

“Y/n, are you okay?”

The scream of fireworks going off was loud in your ears, despite them being miles away. Scott had warned you about this weeks ago, how extremely loud noises might affect you, but you had totally forgotten in the chaos of the party. The fireworks hadn’t even crossed your mind, but now they were causing you to drop to your knees.

“Y/n, talk to me,” Malia breathed, kneeling next to you. “What’s wrong?”

You didn’t look at her, not wanting her to see the shame in your eyes. You had just been talking about how you were doing so well, yet here you were, crippled by a loud noise while Malia was perfectly fine.

You shoved her comforting hands away and ran, searching for a place where you could hide from all the noise. Now it wasn’t just the fireworks, but the music and the laughter of your friends. Even her frantic voice hurt your ears.

After you ran, Malia stood there, wondering what the hell she had done to make you run away so fast. You weren’t losing control, that much she knew, but as she straightened up she looked out the window and realized what was wrong.

Brightly colored fireworks were flashing across the sky, and Malia knew you could probably hear every pop and burst. She headed up the stairs after you, listening in for your pounding heartbeat until she heard it coming from Lydia’s room.

She opened the door softly. “Y/n, it’s me,” she whispered. “It’s okay, you can tune it out, you just have to try.”

She scanned the darkened bedroom, and eventually came to kneel by Lydia’s bed. She flopped onto her side and glanced under the bed. You were there curled up on your side with your hands pressed over your ears

“It’s so loud, Malia,” you mumbled.

“I know,” she said softly. “Just come out from under there and I can help you.”

“I can’t. It hurts.”

Malia huffed. If you weren’t coming out, she was going to come to you.

She wiggled under the bed in the dark, reaching out for your trembling body and pulling you closer to her.

“What are you doing?” you asked shakily.

“Shh,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around you. She ran one hand down your hair as you laid your head on her chest. “Do you hear my heartbeat?”

You nodded against her, and she kept talking. “Focus on it. Everytime I see you, it beats faster. You can probably hear it now. It’s racing because I’ve never had you this close, but I’ve wanted that for a long time.”

You did what she said, listening to the thump of her heart against her ribcage. It was quick, but it wasn’t racing like yours. This was a different sound, not full of fear, but of excitement.

The more you listened, the more you started to believe her. It was all for you.

“Malia?” you asked softly.

“Yeah?”

“It’s not as bad,” you told her. “It’s not as bad with you here.”

“We can stay until it stops,” she whispered.

And she laid there with you, true to her word. To your surprise, you were the one who pointed it out when the fireworks had ended.

“Malia?” you whispered.

“Yeah?” she asked, running her fingers through your hair.

“It’s over.”

“Oh.” She felt herself blushing, grateful you couldn’t see her in the dark. Then, as if the universe has read her mind, Lydia’s bedroom door opened, casting light onto Malia’s face.

“Uh? Malia?”

Lydia crouched down, having spotted one of Malia’s legs sticking out from under her bed. “Why are you guys under the bed? You know I have spare bedrooms, right?”

“Oh my god,” you whispered, cringing at her insinuation. “No, Lyds, it’s not what you think-”

“Well, regardless, I need to get my beauty sleep. And I can’t exactly do it with two supernatural creatures hiding under my bed.”

“God, you’re such a mood killer,” Malia groaned playfully, winking at you as she rolled out from under the bed.

She gently grabbed your hand and pulled you out, helping you to your feet.

“Sorry,” you told Lydia sheepishly.

“You guys are welcome to take the one down the hall,” she called as you headed for the stairs, shooting you a wink.

“Thank you for helping me,” you told Malia, shutting the door behind you. “I’m sorry I freaked out on you like that. That’s embarrassing.”

Malia shrugged. “I kinda hoped I’d get to cuddle up to you tonight, although that wasn’t the way I was expecting.”

You flushed, and Malia grinned. “I’m still pretty happy about it, don’t worry. Are you staying the night?”

“I wasn’t planning on it,” you began. “Do you...do you want me to?”

Her brown eyes lit up. “God, yes.”

She grabbed your hand, pulling you closer to her. Your breath caught in your throat as she ran her hands down your hips, and leaned down to kiss you once more.

“I’m pretty sure you know how i feel about you,” she said between kisses. “But do you feel the same way?”

You nodded, too breathless to speak.

“Y/n,” she murmured against your neck, causing you to shiver. “I want to hear you say it.”

“Okay,” you agreed, pushing her away gently as you cupped her face. “Malia, I like you. I have for a long time. I know it’s obvious, and I know you just watched me freak out like a lunatic, but whatever it takes for you to hold me like that again, I’ll do it.”

She let out a shaky breath, scooping you up and wrapping your legs around her waist. She grinned as she carried you down the hall toward the empty room Lydia had pointed out.

“All you had to do was ask.”