#lettuce the whumpee

[whumpster-dumpster]

Do you have any whumps where the whumpee is a bunny boy?

Sure, here are a few:

Keeping them outside with predators and parasites

Drenching them. Rabbit fur retains moisture for a while so they can develop hypothermia and when their delicate skin is wet, it's more easily injured

Leaving them in direct sunlight. They overheat easily, even in the winter or through a window

A cage that's too small, leaving them with depression and muscle weakness

Rabbit backbones are fragile and can fracture if their legs are left in a position to dangle or if they flail or twist too much when they're startled

Letting their teeth overgrow

Feeding them a bad diet for rabbits: avocados, chocolate, fruit seeds/pits, raw onions, leeks, garlic, broad beans and kidney beans, rhubarb, iceberg lettuce, mushrooms, processed foods (bread, pasta, cookies, crackers, chips), raw potatoes, etc.

Any rabbit owners want to chime in with more?

[cowboy-anon]

Welcome to the Apple-Verse

Meet the Apple-sonas! (16 and counting!)

In the event that you have no idea what I’m talking about, long story short, we started talking about Apple the Whumpee AUs. Thus Banana and Orange were born! And then we got to talking and we got to Tree! And then Lettuce! And then Radish. And Wine. And-- look, just check out below to learn about them all lol.

CW: Alcohol/alcoholic, blood, implied dissociation, degrading language, DUB-CON mention, emotional manipulation, exhaustion, fire, flaying (skinning) mention, inadvertent manslaughter, institutionalized slavery, low self esteem, kinda masochist whumpee, minor whumpee (not anymore but was), neglect, NON-CON mention, parental death mention, pet whump, poor self care, self harm, Stockholm Syndrome, torture mention, “would rather die” than do something

-> Dub-con and Non-con mentions apply to Wine and his universe’s Benji. Briefly mentioned and not at all in depth, but please proceed with caution. (Second-to-last Apple-sona on the list.)

OG Apple

Sweet boy Apple who can do no wrong. Lovely green hair, is obsessed with Clay, who hates him. Master of persuading himself Clay’s neglect is for good reason. Would die before admitting otherwise.

Banana

Yellow haired Apple, has a little bit of common sense in the form of a voice in the back of his head telling him he deserves better. Very often ignores said voice, is widely considered the weakest of all the Apples. On the plus side, Clay likes Banana more than Apple’s Clay likes him.

Orange

Orange haired Apple, so blind to the neglect he doesn’t even have to rework it in his head to justify the action. It just is. Orange’s Benji very much worries for him.

Tree

Apple the gentle giant. Still very much obsessed with Clay but terrified of him too. Also obsessed with Marvel movies. Loves saying “I am Groot” jokingly but absolutely introduces himself as “I am Tree.” Lowkey annoys the bejesus out of his Benji.

Lettuce

The Apple of Health Nut Clay. Is forced to exercise to near exhaustion and does so happily. Is secretly jealous of Benji, who is dissected for being the “near perfect” human pet. Self harms in the form of skinning.

Radish

Apple with reddish-pink hair, was actually chosen as a stress reliever by and for Clay. It’s not so much neglect as straight up torture. Almost always covered in blood, terrifies the Benji in that AU and is used to scare them straight.

Watermelon

Apple with split hair dye, half reddish-pink, half green, with an entirely black wardrobe. Cares very little about what his Clay thinks of him. The same goes for his punishments. Is very attached to his Benji though.

Coconut

Apple with iridescent hair. Considered the prettiest of the Apple-sonas, his Clay practically worships him. He’s punished sensibly and made “pretty,” and Coconut kind of likes it. Resident misunderstood Apple-sona.

Pomegranate 

Apple with pink hair. Spontaneous and horrible at planning. Tries to please his Clay with a combination of gut feeling and a lack of common sense. Very often misreads the room and ends up infuriating his Clay more than anything else.

Cow

Apple with cow print hair. Yes, I am aware he’s not named after a plant lol. Not as infatuated with his Clay as the rest of the Apple-sonas. Has a bull-like temper but is very easygoing otherwise and has a soft spot for outsider Apple-sonas. Has a gold septum piercing and ear tag (like a cow) and is the best of all the Apple-sonas at applying hair dye.

Dragon Fruit 

Apple with reddish-pink hair and plenty of light blond highlights. A pyromancer who lost his parents in a fire of his own creation. Hates his powers and hides them from Jimmy, who is trying to help him through his internalized traumas. Very much wants to help others but is afraid of hurting them.

Cactus Pear

Apple with dark magenta hair. Known for his prickly and standoffish nature. Is very affectionate towards his Clay, who treats him very well but also emotionally manipulates him into believing he’s the only one who’ll ever love him. Incredibly dependent on Clay but also very lonely. A hopeless romantic.

Elppa

Apple with bright red hair. Also lived the opposite of Apple’s life. The salesman saved him, Clay cared for him, and Jimmy is the one who kidnaps and tortures him. Doesn’t understand the other Apple-sonas’ hatred towards their Clays. Dislikes most of them greatly because of it.

Fig

Apple with long, purple to pink ombre hair. Selectively mute and has a very pronounced slouch from his four years with the salesman. Was then sold to Clay and preened. Began speaking again. However, he was only cleaned up to be sold again. In Jimmy’s care, began to regress. Still exhibits muteness. Winner of the ‘Saddest Apple-sona Prize.’

Peach “Star Fruit”

Apple with peach hair. Very similar to OG Apple but has an extreme passion for astrology. Very quiet, shy, and self conscious about said passion. However, after gushing about it, he earns himself the nickname “Star Fruit“ amongst the Apple-sonas.

Cherimoya

Apple with natural hair. *gasp* Was born into the system, trained and groomed and kept unmarked and adorable so that when their owner finally got a hold of them, they’d be lovely to break. Jimmy “saved” them before that. Now they live with Jimmy, naive and with no real understanding of how the world works. Very much only wants to please their Jimmy despite Jimmy’s best efforts to show them they’re human, not a pet.

Wine

Apple with dark red hair, the Apple of Alcoholic Clay. Alcoholic Clay regularly is intimate with Benji, who is usually unresponsive, so when he is especially tipsy, he goes to Wine, who actually very much enjoys their time together because Stockholm Syndrome. Afterwards, however, Clay always gripes about how disgusting Wine is, leaving Wine very confused but also very much in love.

Bonus - Dirt

Pet Clay AU. An outcast like Coconut. Is a frightened and skittish whumpee and very obedient. So beat up and ruined that the other Apple-sonas barely recognize him.

Headcanons by the Official Apple Party Headcanoner

(x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) (x)

Apple-sona Art!

All the Apple-sonas to Date! / Star Fruit (x) / Cow (x) (x) / Lychee (x) /

[somedayonbroadway]

hi hgdjxhshxj i just wanted to say !! that I really admire you as a writer and im obsessed with your parental whump story ! and your other stories as well (i just rlly like dark stuff idk) and also i am kevinfreakinsolo on ao3 and you always leave me nice comments on my first ever fic that I'm working on and it makes my day bc it just means a lot coming from you and it makes me wanna keep writing !!! so thank u for writing and for being amazing. that's all ❤️

Omg hi! You’re the sweetest!

Here’s a bit more of that parental Whump story that you like! Just a little snippet!

Please enjoy!

The clump of bloodied hair was wrapped in string as it was dropped in front of him.

Jack didn’t react. He couldn’t.

“I… I don’t believe you…” he insisted shakily, more trying to convince himself of that than the man who was smirking above him. “I won’t… not till I see a body…”

Charlie was crying. He was shaking. Jack couldn’t break like that. He wouldn’t. Not when he hadn’t seen the body.

He glared up at Morris who was standing at Snyder’s side so loyally. “Tell him how you did it, Morris,” the evil man ordered. “Everything…”

Morris looked from his boss towards the poor man on the ground who was grasping at threads of hope. Jack didn’t even try to stand. He was just sitting on the ground, chains around his ankles, looking more and more pathetic by the minute. He was leaning against the wall with pained tear tracks on his cheeks. His left arm was wrapped around his ribs.

The guard bit his lip. But did as he was told. “I found him at the hospital. He was barely awake. He was still wearing Kelly’s sweatshirt… when he saw me, he started screaming… so I put my hand over his mouth and pulled out a knife, told him to stay quiet—“

“Stop—“ Jack tried.

Morris didn’t. “He begged me ta let him live. Said he just wanted his brothers… he started screamin’ again, s-so I bashed his head in with the back of my knife—“

“Please stop—“

“His eyes were still open… I watched him stop breathin’ n’ I took that…” he stated, pointing to the hair at Jack’s feet.

Jack wanted to throw up.

Crutchie was sobbing.

“He’s not… you’re lyin’...”

Morris shook his head. “I’m sorry…” he breathed, closing his eyes for a moment.

“You’re lying…” Jack insisted again, though his voice was quiet. If he believed this man, it would be like giving up all the hope he had left. There was a slim chance of him and Charlie getting out.

But he’d had peace of mind knowing his baby would survive.

He couldn’t believe this man. He just couldn’t do it.

“Jackie…” Charlie whimpered.

“I don’t believe you… I wanna see the body…” Jack stated again. “I wanna see my brother…”

“Jack, don’t… just don’t,” Crutchie begged, tears streaming down his face, unable to handle even the thought of seeing his baby brother laying dead before him. He just wanted out of here. He just wanted his family to be together and okay.

Jack kept apologizing to him. Jack thought he didn’t hear him crying every night.

“Listen to your brother, Kelly… he knows what’s good for you…”

Jack stared at the wall ahead of him. “I don’t believe you…”

Snyder knelt down beside him and grabbed his face in his hands. He squeezed Jack’s chin tight. “Fine, Kelly… have it your way…”

Jack was forced to stare up at the man who’d been torturing him for weeks. There were still tears on his cheeks. But he only scowled.

He wouldn’t believe this man.

As of right now, his brother was still alive.

He had to be.

For Jack’s own sanity.

For all the other scenes of this AU, here’s the Masterlist! Please enjoy, friends!

[distinctlywhumpthing]

Can we have the classic whumpee breaks something and is afraid caretaker will punish them for Aiden? 🥺🥺🥺

Unintentional 10

Previous — Masterlist — Next

CW: BBU, institutionalized slavery, dehumanization, dissociation/anxiety, drug mention, paranoia, surgical/medical whump implied and subsequent “side effects”, explicit language.

@alittlewhump is the best beta reader! (Go read Peter & Joy!)

Aiden knew he should have been more afraid of everything he couldn’t see downstairs. The lights were few and dim and didn’t illuminate any of the corners. He could squint at them all he wanted and only see blurred fuzziness. There could be anything in those shadows. Untold horrors, lurking, to reveal exactly the type of master he had or exactly the kind of life he might have here. But he couldn’t make himself feel very frightened. He felt so warm he could shiver. In a pleasant way. And the soft orangey-yellow lights just echoed the feeling. Maybe he was naive to immediately like it here, but after where he’d just been—

He dug his heels in before the thought could nosedive into a full-on flashback and made himself focus. Leo—Master had sat him on a stool at the kitchen island and was pulling things out of the fridge with his back turned. Aiden didn’t know how to insert himself to help. Especially, considering Master had helped him to the stool and told him to “sit tight and relax”. The first part was as close to an order as he’d heard all day. The next part was probably a reference to how fucking uncoordinated he’d proved himself to be. It was unlikely he’d be asked to do much helping, he couldn’t be trusted. He didn’t even know his designation. Not that it had ever mattered in the past. His throat felt dry. What could WRU have deemed him useful for in this condition?

“You good? Hand okay?”

Aiden whipped his head up and quickly collected his hands in his lap. His fingers were aching from the way he had been gripping the sides of the stool but the bandage over the cuts from the car door was still perfectly intact.

After the bath, Leo had wrapped him up in not one but two of the massive, soft, fluffy towels to wait, sitting on the countertop in the bathroom, while he went to find clothes. Leo had come back chuckling softly, with that crinkly smile. Aiden had been so focused on Leo’s face, he hadn’t caught exactly why the outfit lit up his expression so much. But it made him smile, too. Of course. It was a trained reflex, mirroring, and all that. But it was like the bubble bath, definitely not meant for him, but Master was giving it generously and freely, and he wanted it.

He couldn’t stop it from feeling good. He couldn’t stop himself from feeling good.

And maybe it wasn’t a bad thing, even if there was nothing left for him to trust. Nothing left for him to trust with. But he’d been able to sit still and keep quiet—miraculously because there were a million odds stacked against him—while Leo had cleaned the cuts and bandaged his hand.

“That’s it. Good, that’s good. You’re good. This will be fine.” Leo had streamed pleasantries the whole time and Aiden let himself ride the waves of heat that bubbled in his chest like he was still in the tub. It had helped that Leo’s fingers had been warm and gentle and the cream he dabbed on didn’t seem to have any scent at all, or at least not one that could overpower the fresh-pine soap clinging to his skin and the steam on the small window. So, maybe it was good, maybe it wasn’t going to be so bad, this time.

Leo was waiting for an answer. Patiently, his hands on the counter, palms up. Aiden could see trays of ground meat stacked next to a frying pan behind him. A cutting board with tomatoes and lettuce.

He forced his head to nod.

Leo’s brown eyes traced his face, with that crease appearing between his eyebrows. The inspection didn’t make him shrink back like it probably should have. But then Leo kept looking, searching. Expecting.

His fingers returned to the wooden seat underneath him but he managed to keep looking into Leo’s face. He needed to not be so fucking damaged. The silence wasn’t cutting it anymore, that’s what Leo’s face said, after all, he had been too patient, too generous. Aiden had to pay up. He swallowed. He had to figure out how to form a coherent sentence before he was returned.

“Mmm…please…mmm—”

What did Harrison—why couldn’t he just—

His hand was throbbing from how tightly he was gripping the stool.

“Mmm…I…mmm…Mister…”

No, this was unacceptable. He couldn’t possibly be expected to satisfy in any capacity—Had he been drugged? That had to be it. But that meant—He shook his head but his heart started racing. Of course, there was only one thing he was good for anymore.

“Nnnn…mmm…please…nnn…”

Master opened his mouth and closed it again. His forehead creased, eyebrows pulling together. Aiden noticed a few tiny flecks of white there. It had to be paint and not signs of age, Master was still young. Young and strong—

“Easy, easy.” Master reached out and Aiden recoiled, nearly tipping himself and the stool over, but Master was faster. He caught a handful of the front of the borrowed sweatshirt and prevented the fall, tugging Aiden upright again. The front legs of the stool tapped back onto the hardwood and Master let go and backed away. He kept his hands raised in front of him. “It’s alright, you’re alright,” he said softly. “Just settle down. I’m not gonna hurt you, Bud.” Master kept backing up until he was standing against the opposite counter but Aiden didn’t take his eyes off him even though he stopped seeing any details.

He wrapped his arms around himself. He was shaking again and his stomach felt heavy. The longer he thought about it, the higher his certainty, the more it felt like swallowing pieces of lead. One by one, slowly but surely, scraping down his esophagus to weigh him down and pull him under the surface. He had slept most of the day but he would have woken up if he’d been stuck with a needle. It couldn’t have been the food he’d thrown up or the coffee he’d mostly spilled. He’d seen Master open the bag of sweet little things in the parking lot. Unless they came laced with drugs. His head hurt.

Master moved and Aiden straightened, blinking to make his eyes focus so he could prepare himself to take his punishment well.

“It’s alright, it’s alright…” Master just slowly turned around to tend to the dinner Aiden should have been cooking for him. He moved to a cabinet to pull out bowls and plates. “Food’s almost done…” He set the plates aside and slid a few bowls of different sizes toward Aiden. “Wanna give me a hand?”

Aiden had no idea why it was being posed as a question and such a gentle one at that. He nodded and made himself speak, “Mmm…thank…mmm…Mister…”

It was all he could do not to grimace himself. He just could not get it right no matter how hard he tried but Master didn’t seem to notice. He was busy moving shredded lettuce and diced tomatoes off the cutting board and into their respective bowls.

He nudged a blue bag toward Aiden. “Can you put the chips in the big one?”

Aiden reached for the biggest bowl, hands shaking just enough that Master gave him a half-smile and a nod. He used his good hand to pull out the bowl closer and then picked up the bag of chips. Part of him thought he recognized the photo or the logo but he made sure not to look too closely and instead watched Master shake shredded cheese into a bowl.

“You know, I’ve always thought it was funny,” he said, righting the bag and looking down at it. “It says ‘Mexican Cheesy Queso Cheese’, but queso is just ‘cheese’ in Spanish. So, it’s ‘Mexican cheesy cheese cheese’?” He held up the bag but Aiden was only focused on the way Leo had one eyebrow quirked and his grin was clearly holding back laughter.

Aiden felt his lips tugging themselves into a smile. His fingers kept working to find purchase to open the top of the bag.

Leo chuckled, shaking his head, and started pulling out silverware.

It wasn’t so much that Aiden’s fingers slipped, although it felt like that, but it also felt like he just didn’t quite have control all the way to the ends of them. His other hand didn’t lose its grip on the bag but he’d been tugging so hard that the momentum sent his elbow knocking into the bowl. It teetered around like a coin, circling the diameter of the base, almost settling a few times but gravity kept it spinning. Slowly, surely, right over the edge of the countertop to smash against the floor and the legs of the stool and it didn’t even matter. Now it was just a heap of jagged ceramic, white against the warm coffee-colored floor.

Aiden tumbled after it onto his knees, sending his stool and the one beside it toppling down as well. Each percussion echoed through him, making him cower lower to the ground, closer to the floorboards. He searched the pieces desperately, hands shaking, for one large enough to be used as a foundation to rebuild the rest.

But it was all too splintered.

There was no hope. Not a single shard. Not that he’d be capable of the finesse required to fix it. Not that fixing it would make any difference at all.

His heart froze in his chest as footsteps started toward him.

Previous — Masterlist — Next

@octopus-reactivated @maracujatangerine @nicolepascaline @mazeish @whumpy-writings @in-patient-princess @meetmeinhellcroutons @briars7 @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @jo-doe-seeking-inspo @neuro-whump @painsandconfusion @wolfeyedwitch @skyhawkwolf @haro-whumps @onlybadendings

[whump-a-la-mode]

Gilded Cage - Part 7

I can only describe this as tooth-rotting fluff. Our whumpee deserves it!

Thank you so much to everyone for going through this story with me. I’ve had so much fun.

@worstcasescenariolullaby

CW//Hospital setting, medical talk, talk of broken bones, talk of surgery, altered states of mind, mentions of death, mentions of building collapses, conspiracy

“Are you sure about this?” Sidekick’s face twisted in a mask of concern.

“I’m sure.” Villain nodded.

“The Heroes...”

“The city won’t let this happen again. Come visit me in hospital sometime, okay? I’ll be okay.”

“Okay.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The felt piece on the bottom of the chess pawn had long since worn away, leaving a dull screeching noise in its wake as Villain moved the piece forward on the board. In expectation, they raised their head to their opponent, before gazing back down at the board. Examining the playing field. Furrowing their brows.

“Don’t hurt yourself.” Their opponent, Old Friend, spoke, their tongue filled with equal parts laughter and playful teasing. “And... there goes your rook.”

“What!” Villain’s gaze darted about the board, before grumbling and removing their fallen piece, adding it to a quickly growing pile. “You’re cheating.”

“How does one cheat at chess?”

“By being better than me. There, okay, there goes your pawn.”

“And there goes your knight.”

“Asshole. Come on, you have to have a secret. You gotta tell me.”

Old Friend smiled.

“You’re so intent on taking my pieces that you don’t worry about your own. Also, I was in the chess club back in school, so...”

“Nerd.” Villain stuck out their tongue.

“Alright, candle boy.”

“Hey! I told you-”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just really funny.”

“I could disintegrate a candle-”

“I know, I know. It’s your move, dude.”

“Fine. Is turning the board to ash a valid chess move?”

“There’s enough fire damage on the pieces as it is. Candle boy.”

“At least come up with something better than that. Like... Like blowtorch. That sounds cool.”

“Blowtorch? What are you, like, seven?”

“Eh, there’s worse villain names out there.”

“You don’t have one yet, do you?”

“Nah. I’m not that breed of cocky. They just call me the arsonist, I think.”

“That’s pretty underwhelming.”

“Meh.”

Again, Villain studied the board a moment. They sent a rook forwards, knocking over a knight on the other side.

“Your move.”

Old Friend nodded, and, for a few moments, they sat like that. Accompanied by nothing but the sounds of the city and the scraping of pieces on the board.

“Did Violet ever have a name?”

It took Villain a few moments to register the question. They moved a piece before looking up.

“What, like a villain name?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t think so. You could ask her.”

“Aw, man, you haven’t heard?”

Villain frowned, lips pursing together to form a thin line.

“She’s gone?”

“Bridge collapse. I was always warning her, taking roots out of the ground like that is gonna make something fall eventually. Just so happened to be right on top of her. It’s a shame, really. Gonna have to find somewhere else to get our lettuce, now.”

“Not funny.”

“I know. And... check.”

“What?”

“Checkmate.”

“Again?”

“Again.”

Villain shoved the board away from themself, sitting back and stretching their arms above their head. Old Friend swiped the remaining pieces from the board, beginning to once again set the stage for their next game.

“This time, think about the risk you might be putting your pieces in. It’s not worth it, losing a knight to take out a pawn, y’know?”

“I guess.”

“What’s got you acting so sad all of a sudden?” Old Friend looked up. “Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m gonna get a candle.”

“Okay. You good?”

“I just... I just need a candle.”

Villain stood, stiff legs aching with pins and needles as they moved across the small, damp-walled apartment. The kitchen, or what was little more than a countertop with a fridge and microwave, was barren, snack bowls long since left with nothing but crumbs.

They drew open the door of one of the wall-mounted cabinets, unveiling a series of shelves, stacked with white pillars of wax. Most lumpy and misshapen, the rest bent and folded in on themselves. Villain selected one, moving back to where Old Friend had just finished resetting the board. They sat in their spot, a place already well worn into the carpet.

“Do you want to play again?” Old Friend’s voice had grown quiet, concerned.

“Yeah... Just give me a second.”

“Need to let it out?”

“Yeah.”

The firebrand gripped the white-waxed candle in one hand, then the other. Feeling the film transfer from palm to palm. The flame in their stomach answered the call without hesitance. They had already felt the heat, struggling to escape into their veins.

It was slow, at first. The wax did not melt, simply molding itself, bulging and shifting as to allow Villain’s fingers to make their mark. Their eyes fixed upon the process: The control of it. The way in which the wax moved only on their call.

It helped them breathe.

“Violet...” They began, frowning again. “That’s the second bridge accident this year.”

“There’s a lot of bridges, to be fair.”

“But not a lot of collapses.”

“What are you saying?”

“It seems so much like a coincidence, but... How many have we lost, this year?”

“Violet and Argyle, uh, Aaron I think. Dana and Evelyn and-”

“And what month is it?”

“April?”

“Exactly.”

“I mean, we lose a lot, but...”

“And they’re always accidents. Car crashes. Building fires. Drownings. But they’re not accidents.”

The wax yielded with more readiness. A few droplets fell, deftly caught by Villain’s other hand.

“What do you mean, they’re not accidents? I don’t think people drown on purpose.”

“Well, yeah. But that’s not what I mean. If they were actually accidents, you would think they’d happen at random times. But-”

“It’s always when the Heroes are around. Always during battle.”

“Exactly.”

“I don’t think the Heroes are doing it on purpose, though. I mean, they wouldn’t just blow up a bridge to kill one villain. The battles just get too intense, I think. I mean, how many times have you almost died in battle?”

“A lot.”

“Same here. That’s all.”

“No. No.” Villain shook their head. “I’ve almost died many times. But I haven’t died. Because I’m not stupid. And the others weren’t, either.”

“I don’t think the Heroes are killing people, Villain.”

“Then what else are they doing?”

“I don’t know, protecting the city? Whatever nonsense they say.”

“Protecting the city from us. Supposedly. But it seems like they’re a hell of a lot more focused on these big battles.”

“That’s kind of our fault, to be fair.”

“Is it? Most of our didn’t choose this life.”

“We’re still doing, I mean, crimes. Like, we’re definitely criminals.”

“Then they should be taking us to prison.”

“Isn’t that what they do?”

“When is the last time you heard of anyone going to prison?”

“I mean, uh... What about Jared?”

“You mean the one they got in a van that then mysteriously exploded?”

“Oh. Right. What about, uh, didn’t they get Kara?”

“Yeah. And then pronounced her dead at the hospital.”

“Okay. Maybe... maybe you have a point.”

Between Villain’s fingers, a single droplet of candle wax fell.

“Yeah.”

Old Friend sighed.

“Do you want to play again?”

“Mhm.”

Villain drew the heat from their palms, allowing the remnants of the candle to solidify in their hands. They placed it down, then, though droplets of white still stuck to their fingers.

“I think...” Old Friend looked down at the board, considering their first move. “I think if the Heroes ever capture you, you’ll find they’re a lot kinder than you expect.”

Villain snorted in laughter.

“If the Heroes ever capture me, there will nothing left of my body to find.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

“It’s a miracle.”

“It is. The damage they sustained... I can hardly believe that there’s enough blood left in them to keep them alive.”

“Hardly any blood. Hardly any body, either.”

“Yeah.”

“A real miracle. The guys down in Radiology, they thought we got the scans mixed up. They confused them for those of the guy in the other room. The motorcycle crash one.”

“That makes sense. To think that a human did this...”

“Not a normal human. A lot stronger than a normal human.”

“But with the same morals as a normal human.”

“You’d hope so.”

“Oh. Crap, looks like they’re waking up. Let’s give a bit more propofol... They need their rest.”

Villain’s closed eyes twitched, as though dreaming. At least, they did not think they were dreaming. It was hard to say, these days...

Had it been days? Or just a couple of hours? They tried to think, to remember, but the will to do so was deeply buried under blankets and bitter-tasting medicines. They longed to sit up, to move, to open their eyes, but those thoughts came from such a small part of their mind. The rest of them was so tired...

The numbness, now, was softer. Warmer. It was not a force of overwhelming heat, laughing at them and telling them to forget their pain, to keep moving. Instead, this time, the numbness was simply warm. Pleasantly so. Urging them to rest, to sleep, to ignore the taste of iron on their tongue that refused to go away.

Sleeping and wakefulness, to them, felt to be a sliding scale. They spent much time at the former end, in blissful unconsciousness, but had yet to find themself at the latter. They struggled for it, struggled to get close, but their anxious murmurs and twitching were always responded to with soft words and hands and more warmth in their veins.

Vilain was floating for a moment. Again, the hundredth time, they struggled to part their lips, but only managed to exert effort to no end.

“Their leg... I’ve never seen anything like it before.”

“Are you sure they’re strong enough for this?”

“Yeah. We can’t wait any longer. The bone will heal wrong if we wait any longer.”

“Okay.”

The numbness was stronger, that time.

“Villain? Villain?”

Their eyelids twitched, again.

“They said you’d opened your eyes, earlier...”

There was more softness, in that tone. Not the pitying notes of a doctor or nerve-wracked surgeon, but the warm coaxing of a friend.

The hand on their wrist was cold.

Their fingers twitched, then their lips. They tried to utter out a syllable, but only managed a shaky breath.

“Yeah, that’s it. Thank you. Do you remember me?”

Did they? They weren’t sure what they remembered, anymore. They remembered being here. They remembered the blankets and the half-hearted attempts by the nurses to coax them into swallowing a spoonful of jello.

“It’s Doctor. Do you remember me? Do you remember Doctor?”

“Doctor?”

The word came out more like a croak. Their eyes twitched with more furor this time, until, at long last, the world flooded into sterile existence around them. They got distracted, a moment, by the pattern of white tiles above.

“There you go!” There was genuine pride in that voice. “I knew you could do it.”

“Mmm.”

“Can you hear me?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” That cold hand moved from their wrist to their hand. Trying to hold it, to embrace their fingers. But Villain did not have the strength for such a thing. “I’m so sorry, Villain. I’m so sorry.”

“F- for what?”“

“I- I almost killed you! Had you stayed under my care... I’m sorry.”

Villain blinked a moment, trying to think.

“You...” Their throat felt so terribly raw. “You were right.”

“It wasn’t right to let Hero try to kill you.”

“No... Not that. You said, uh, about warmth. ‘Bout heat.”

There was a smile. Villain did not have to see it to know that it was there.

“You understood?”

“Yes. On th’stage.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you did good.”

“I get it, now. I think... Heat can, uh, it can destroy buildings.” Their words were awfully drawn out, hard to understand through their lengthy slurring. “But it can also... bake cookies.”

Doctor laughed, at that.

“You’re right. You’re right.”

Villain’s fingers finally agreed to move, wrapping around Doctor’s hand.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, Villain.” Another sigh. This one, warm. “Have you heard, what they’re saying about you? You lost so much blood. And your organs were all over the place. It’s a miracle that you survived.”

The grasp on Villain’s hand tightened.

“They said you only lived because you wanted to. Because you really, really wanted to survive. Is that right?”

“I... I think it is. Yeah.”

“Yeah. I’ll be back, okay? Get some rest.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

It was three weeks after, that they were allowed to have any more visitors. Three weeks of medicines and surgeries and treatments and x-rays. It all blurred in their mind, until the calendar held as little meaning to them as the results of their blood tests.

They weren’t healed. Certainly not. But wakefulness no longer felt like such a monumental effort.

The jello tasted like nothing as they placed it upon their tongue. Nothing but sugar and sweetener, desperately trying to mask the tastelessness of gelatin. By the time the door opened, which it did with such a force that Villain wondered if it had been struck with a battering ram, they were almost done with the cup of overly-sweet dessert.

They jumped, nearly dropping their plastic spoon as their gaze snapped upwards. For a split second, the figure in the doorway made their limbs begin to shake, a familiar pressure reviving on their neck. But, it only lasted a second.

Sidekick looked different. Their stature was the same, certainly, as well-muscled as ever, but it was no longer draped in any sort of uniform. Instead, a grey sweatshirt struggled to contain their form, marked with the logo of some sports team or another.

Villain took another bite of jello.

“Good news.” Sidekick’s smile had the same media allure that Hero once showed the cameras, sending a shiver down Villain’s spine. They strode nearer, confident steps striking the tile floor. Compared to them, Villain felt terribly small. “Come on, don’t you want to hear it?”

Another bite and the cup was empty. They placed it down on the small table next to their bed.

“Um... Yeah. Okay.” They could not muster up nearly enough energy to match that of their visitor.

“Okay, so, J- sorry, uh, you-know-who, they found the video. The real one. Without all the edits.”

“That’s... good.”

“Mhm. We have news stations willing to broadcast it, too. Put some doubt on the story, right?”

“Right.”

“You... Don’t seem as excited as I remember you being.”

“Sorry.” Villain’s gaze cast downwards. “I’m still just a little tired, and all.”

“Oh. Well, that makes sense. You got hurt pretty bad. Do you have any idea when you might be out of here?”

“Not really.”

“I’ll try to ask a nurse or something. When you’re strong enough, though, we’ve got this whole plan. You’re gonna be, like, our emissary. Between us and the villains, yeah?”

“Uh... why?”

“Well, I mean, the Heroes only really exist to stop you and the other villains. If we can just... convince them to stop doing villain stuff, then the public will start the see that the Heroes are, y’know, not all their cracked up to be.”

Villain struggled to suppress a smile. They couldn’t imagine trying to ask some of their former cohorts to all of a sudden go on the straight and narrow.

Still, even beneath the blankets and the medicine, they felt the smallest scrap of warmth return. A tiny ember, floating in their stomach.

The opportunity to turn their pain into something other than nightmares and tears in the hospital bed’s pillow.

“When I’m out of here... well, we’ll have to see, I guess.”

“That’s all we can really hope for. Now, uh, I kind of have to go. They’re about to notice I broke a window.”

“You w-”

“Sorry! Gotta go!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

It was the smell that made Villain recognize their second visitor, more than their appearance.

They looked different. Quite different. Taller, slightly, with tight cords of muscle now curling about their neck. Nothing like the tiny twig they’d once known.

It looked like they’d finally hit their growth spurt, after all. A decade late.

The scent that they carried with them was one of freshly cut wood, the rural stench of sawdust, accompanied by the damp musk of a home long forgotten.

“Holy shit, candle boy.”

Four words. Four stupid words, uttered the moment Old Friend walked through the door.

Villain burst out laughing.

Not laughter of sorrow, or of venom. True laughter. The warmth that filled their chest this time had nothing to do with flame.

“So, am I allowed to hug you, or...”

“There’s no doctors here to tell us not to.”

“Good point.”

The warmth in Villain’s chest only increased with Old Friend’s embrace. Their friend buried their head in their shoulder. The tears wet quickly through Villain’s hospital gown.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

“You didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“I should have-”

“It’s in the past, now. I’m just so glad you’re alive.”

“Just to be clear... you’re not a good guy?”

“I don’t know what I am. But I’m still your friend.”

“That’s all I care about.”

The embrace broke off after over a minute, though it was still far too soon.

“We have an apartment. Me and Aggie and some others.” Old Friend stepped back. “We have a room all set up. Even found some of your old stuff. I know it’s gonna be a while, but... you’ve always got somewhere to go, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The End

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 

I can’t thank you guys enough for reading through this story and experiencing it with me. This is the end of this story, but I hope to make another one soon!

There is no next part, so there are no story paths to choose from for next time. But, I still have options to pick from. I want to hear what you think Villain’s choice will be!

A) Be a hero. Go with Sidekick, and liberate the city

B) Be a friend. Return to Old Friend. Make life good again.

[sola-whumping]

Gabrial! I need your advice! I'm training a non-human as a pet and its started refusing food, but I can't get close enough to it to intubate (not positive that would even work) without it trying to bite and claw me. I can't even drug it. Normally it minds pretty well, but not even my whip or fire will get it to obey! I don't want it to die, this one took me forever to catch.... Anything helps! -Sincerely, a new whumper who's bitten off more than they can chew :/

If they have just now started being defiant maybe go back through your actions and find out what changed. You might have asked too much of it or started feeding it something it can’t eat or offended the creature. As a new whumper this is a good time to learn whump isn’t all about force. A skilled whumper knows that manipulation and reward are important aspects of training and getting the behavior you want.

For now put down your whips and fire and get to know your pet. They don’t have to be an equal but structure and consistency are important for new pets. Set up a routine to follow and give them a set of simple rules that are compatible with the style of training you want. Make sure to keep your word if you make promises, you are your whumpees world now and it’s important that they can trust you. Right now they might be feeling overwhelmed, especially if they’re new or never been a pet before and this will help.

(This works with real life animals too actually if anyone has a rescued animal they’re trying to help) To start you want to work on the aggression, and part of that means trust. This works with humans as well as non humans but give it a space it won’t be hurt, somewhere that is theirs and they can feel secure. A medium size cage works, so does a closed off room, make sure to adjust for size. If you have a big creature you want a bigger room but if you have a small creature you don’t want them to feel insecure.

(For animals this might mean a crate or a bathroom rather then a guest bedroom unless you have a dog that is Just That Big. You want them to have a crate they can have as well as a room so they have space to move around and a place to hide. Remember!! A cat is not feral if you can pet it!)

Now that they have a place they can hide you can start with food. You want it to be something you know they can eat and preferably something they like. This can be used as a reward for socialization eventually. When you feed them make sure you stay in the room, every time you feed them you want to stay a bit closer and eventually be able to touch them while they eat or have them eat out of your hand (this works for food aggression!!) the main thing here is trust that you won’t take it away. Petting them while they eat works well for this.

(Cats don’t eat raw fish, they are domesticated and cooked fish and chicken are much better for them! Dogs can have cooked meat and sometimes raw meat but do your research. Bunnies don’t eat carrots!! They eat grass and clover and lettuce and leaves. Carrots are a treat for only sometimes because of how sugary they are. Cats don’t drink milk adults are lactose intolerant.)

If your whumpee still doesn’t eat after this and they had been eating before, make sure they aren’t sick or what you’re feeding them hasn’t made them sick. Being in captivity could also be a part of it, their environment or enclosure might not be suitable and stress them out. Make sure they have some places to hide and you aren’t keeping your nonhuman whumpee in just a dark cell. If you need to, I can help you set up an enclosed environment for your whumpee, especially if they are magical and you are worried they might escape. For now, try putting a few plants with them or keeping them company. Your whumpee could be a social creature and be feeling the effects of isolation or they might need the sun or they could need to be around plants to be healthy. There’s so many things that could stop them from eating. Another issue could be exercised or even the season. If they hibernate half the year and you’re waking them up when it’s time to sleep that could be an issue. Also on that track, your lights could be messing with your whumpee and their sleeping and eating cycle. Make sure they have at least a barred window so they can have sunlight and moonlight to know what time it is and so they aren’t thrown off. Alternatively, if you can’t do this make sure you leave the lights on when the sun is up and dim the lights when it’s dark out, this can help immensely.

There’s many things that could be bothering your whumpee but I hope this helps! Try the tips above and how about you send another ask with details on your progress or reply to this post or dm me so I can help further!

-Gabrial 💙

Continued here

[brutal-nemesis]

Watch Mojo’s Top 10 Places to Beat Up a Man

Number 15, Burger King Foot Lettuce. The last thing you want- Ahhhh shut up Travis!! Not now.

Have you ever been looking for somewhere nice to beat your whumpee up? Somewhere with good vibes or maybe fun weapons lying around? Look no further! I’ve taken the liberty of writing some drabbles to show off some GREAT places to get those whumpiflies.

Aquarium

His Basement

Snowy Forest

Conservatory

Abandoned Factory

Home Fucking Depot

Lighthouse

Open Field

My Basement

Pier

[caddy-whump-us]

But what if a whumper videos/streams the whumpee getting whumped, right? Like the infamous “red room” videos that circulate from time to time, right? 

And someone fucking around online sees it, shares it, and the video goes weirdly viral. It shows up in compilations right next to Foot Lettuce and everything. YouTube channels dedicated to the weird and the creepy do deep dives on it.

And the next thing you know, there’s this huge debate on the internet about whether it’s real, fake, a movie, a prank, an ARG... And then there are suddenly whole message board threads dedicated to finding out if the whumpee is an actor or a victim and what (if anything) the police are doing.

And then out of these message boards comes a rescue team who decide yes, it’s real; yes, we know where the whumpee is; yes, we’re going to go get them.

And it turns into like a found team/found family thing. And, yes, sure, they rescue the whumpee. Because I do love a good rescue. 

And then it can go into the whumpee not being sure if they should trust the rescuers (there was a post on how good that is earlier today in fact), which is also delectable~

[lettuceknighted]

Whumpmas in July - Day 1

@whumpmasinjuly ❤️ Name: Lettuce, Leet/L33t 

💛 Gender: probably somewhere around masc nonbinary

💙 Favorite season: idk dude I kinda dig the variety

❤️ Average amount of sleep: during quarantine say 8-10hrs. during schooltimes more like 4-6 💛 Dream job: Somewhere in the culinary industry high enough that I get paid well enough and I'm not bored, but low enough that I don’t gotta do a whole lot of paperwork.   💙 Blog established: April 6, 2020  ❤️ Reason for URL: sirlettuce is taken. I dig knights but lettuce isn’t special to me or anything so I don’t remember how it came about.   💛 Fave Whump Tropes: backwoods medicine, found fam, self-sacrifice, exhaustion and overexertion, waking up in a friend/enemy’s house after incident, fight scenes, defiant whumpee, imprisonment, and anything’s better when emotions and angst are thrown in.  💙 Projects you’re working on: just getting myself to write in general tbh. Got a couple drabble ideas I wanna finish, some Devi backstory and Elijah going apeshitt and a drabble I gotta do with @/beckstriad’s Mac cause I lost a bet. I guess the mac-lee rp with becks counts, as well as delta-jared with @/abouttemperedgrace.  ❤️ Favorite color: dark blue, with purple as a close second  💛 Anything else you’d like to add: I love whump but a lot of my focus is on characters and stories, as opposed to mainly whumper/whumpee/caretaker interactions. I was into writing and characters a good while before I realized what whump was, but it’s always been something I had a tendency towards.  

[cowboy-anon]

You've seen Banana, you've seen Tree... but imagine if Clay's eyes land on his salad instead of the fruit bowl. Thus begins the life of Lettuce.

IT'S TOO EARLY FOR THIS. /j XDDDDD I say, having been awake for an hour lol.

Quick CW: Cutting, exhaustion, flaying (skinning), mentioned self harm due to Stockholm Syndrome, Stockholm Syndrome, stress positions, non-con surgery/dissection

The life of Lettuce: Clay's absolutely a fitness nut and maybe forces his pets to the extremes of the human body 'cause that's interesting to him. He makes them run on his stupid treadmill until they’re about to pass out from exhaustion, he ties them in intricate stress stretching positions and weighs their limbs down with weights for a painful pull on their muscles. Maybe he even dissects them to learn more about the human body.

In this AU, Benji actually gets the worst punishments, because Clay sees them as a “near-perfect” human pet and therefore their anatomy should be the most comparable to his. That means he’s the one being cut into and skinned and observed.

Lettuce runs and jumps and does anything Clay says regardless of how it hurts him because of course he does. However, he’s mildly jealous of the attention Benji gets and secretly wishes he was the one getting dissected.

This AU would definitely feature some Lettuce self harm.

[cowboy-anon]

what are the the apple-sona's relationship with the salesman and their first names?

Oh snap, this is a question! I... hadn't even thought about that lol.

The salesman would definitely play a huge part in the creation of the Apple-sonas, as well as how they got to being in his care--if they did at all!

Quick CW: Homelessness, euthanasia mention, institutionalized slavery mention, low self esteem, kidnapping, non-con drugging, pet whump, tied with rope, torture mention, young whumpee (18)

OG Apple - He felt he had no other choice but to give himself to the salesman's sketchy little shop. He was broken and close to homeless and he felt a little more than helpless. He spent his eight months there and was given to Clay for free alongside Benji.

Banana - He gave himself to the shop, too, but he got out of there a few months earlier than Apple, hence his trauma being less and his common sense still being somewhat in tact. He was also a freebie.

Orange - He probably gave himself to the system willingly, not because he felt hopeless but because being a pet seemed easier. Orange and Banana, being the closest to Apple's original character, made less extreme choices that differ from the original timeline you'll find. He was part of a buy-one-get-one-free deal.

Tree - He was convinced to give himself to the salesman’s store about a year before Apple does in canon by the salesman. However, this store had a lovely option to meet the pet you wanted before you adopt. He learned to fear Clay pretty early on. Tree’s Clay is more sadistic than his salesman was.

Lettuce - Pretty much the same story as Apple’s. Clay’s the only real variant for Lettuce.

Radish - He didn't have had a salesman so much as a kidnapper that stole him off the streets and sold him in a back-of-the-truck-store transaction after a day tied up in the trunk

Wine - He was stuck in that shop a lot longer than eight months. Try two years with the salesman. The salesman at that time actually took him home and was his owner for one of those years, torturing him in his own home. However, after an incident--if you’d consider drugging him, tying him up, and torturing him while he’s asleep an incident--the salesman threw Wine onto the streets, where a very drunk Clay brought him home in a taxi.

Watermelon - Watermelon was kidnapped walking home from work and was taken back to the salesman’s store. His salesman did very little to try to train him. His idgaf attitude rubbed a lot of owners the wrong way and he was very much of the path to euthanasia after two months when his Clay came around, claiming to want a challenging pet to train.

Coconut - He was put into the system far earlier than the other Apples, right around when he turned eighteen (Apple was 21 when he got into the system I think), and his salesman was part of this huge training organization that was devoted to creating these perfect pets, hence how he responds to pain and his internal beliefs as well. He was in training for almost three years before being sold to his Clay.

As for their first names, they're Apple-sonas, so I kinda assumed they'd have Auggie as their first names, but *shrug*.

Gotta double check my facts on Apple’s age at that time lol, but thanks for the ask! This has been super enlightening. :D

[cowboy-anon]

I noticed that you said the Apple-sonas needed names other than Auggie, so here's my input: Banana = Bailey, Orange = Orion, Tree = Trevor, Lettuce = Lee, Wine = Wilbur, Radish = Radcliff, Watermelon = Watson, Coconut = Colton, Pom = Poe, Cow = Cody, Dragon = Drew, Cactus = Caen, Elppa = Eiggua, Fig = Finn, Star Fruit = Stark, Cherimoya = Chet, Dirt = Yalc. (-Headcanoner)

Wait, wait, wait, this is so big brain lmao. I was reading it and I was like, "Wait, why do they all have the same first letters," and long story short I’m very tired lol.

BUT ACTUALLY. I REALLY LIKE THIS A LOT. THESE ARE ALL LIKE SOME OF THE BEST AND CUTEST NAMES EVER. WILBUR. LEE. COLTON???! ADORABLE.

Oh gosh, @sideblogformindtrash warned me if I gave them names they’d be one step closer to OCs of their own and that they would inevitably grow in power--and then proceeded to agree they needed them lol. So we’re embracing it at this point.

Only gonna change a few ‘cause these names are all wonderful.

Star Fruit’s actually a nickname for Peach, so maybe Peter?

Cactus Pear’s kinda giving me more Cameron vibes.

I don’t think Cherimoya actually had a first name thinking about it now because he was born into the system, although they were definitely called “Cheri” for short. :)

I was thinking of changing Dirt and Elppa’s first names but honestly, no, they’re perfect lol. Though Yalc definitely goes by his middle name Declan.

[cowboy-anon]

A headcanoner's work is never over! Thoughts on Cow: He strikes me as the type of guy who'd never stand up for himself, but would go absolutely ballistic for his friends. Perhaps he would advocate for Dirt and Coco, the poor outcasts? But I can definitely see him teaching hair dye tips to the other Apple-sonas, especially Banana and Orange. Maybe he'd even set up a hair dye station during the party!

OOH, ACTUALLY-- YEAH. YES TO ALL OF THESE. Ugh, Official Apple Party Headcanoner, I love Cow even more now. <3

Quick CW: Brief alcohol mention

I think Cow actually would advocate for Coconut and Dirt, yeah! He’d give them treats from the table, talk to them a little bit, mention their loneliness to the OG Apple to see if he could do something to help.

As for the hair dying station, YES. YESYESYES. It’d all be temporary dye, naturally, because the Apple-sonas are bound to mess up, but he’d teach them how to do highlights and stuff. Watermelon’d add little black dots to the red side of his hair, pretend-grumbling about it but definitely enjoying himself. Orange would add some yellow strands to his hair and Banana would add some orange to his. Wine would just drunkenly try to cut bangs for himself, I’m not even gonna lie. XD Obviously Cow stops him. Even Coconut would get in on the fun! Cow would let him do whatever he wanted to his hair, because he knows Coconut’s Clay wouldn’t be pleased to see Coconut messing up his own.

Pure image. :)

[cowboy-anon]

Coconut's headcanons for the Apple party: Nobody likes him, so they leave him to his own devices. Even Banana and Orange, the most innocent guys around, won't let him play Fruit Ninja with them. During the sleepover, everyone keeps their distance from him (except for Tree, who is still kinda drunk and mistakes Coco for a cloud).

This is so sad and so true. Coconut doesn't even get to go to Apple parties very often anyway, so that definitely doesn't help.

Watermelon and Radish think he's a suck-up, the others are jealous and protective of their Clays. Even Apple's pretty wary of him out of fear that his Clay will like Coconut more than him. :,(

Quick CW: Alcohol, crying, emeto (not in detail), low self esteem

Chillin' in the corner with Tree, Coconut starts to drink what he's drinking, and during their sleepover, he gets drunk enough to allow himself a good cry on the bathroom floor.

He doesn't like being put on this pedestal he realizes, and besides, being pretty was supposed to make him likeable, not the opposite.

OG Apple definitely walks in on him puking in the toilet later, drunk to the point that he's sick, bawling his eyes out because he feels absolutely disgusting. Definitely not pretty. But Coconut almost bursts into tears again when he sees Apple left a mint on the sink for him for when he's finished (because you know none of the Apple-sonas brought their toothbrushes lol).

Later that day, Apple tries really hard to be nicer to Coconut. He learns Coconut's actually a really bad cook, loves dad jokes, wants to visit a beach someday, and just really needs a hug. Which he gets. Coconut smashes Apple into the biggest bear hug when it's time to leave, and all the other Apple-sonas are staring.

But Apple hugs him back and makes him promise he'll come back to visit next time. Coconut pinky swears, then leaves to his Clay's car.

Once there, his Clay tells him today he'll get to be made pretty. For the first time ever, that doesn't make him happy.

[cowboy-anon]

Apple party headcanon: Wine spikes the punch. Radish and Watermelon ditch the party and go destroy capitalism. Lettuce tries to teach Apple, Orange, and Banana how to do a pushup. Tree gets drunk on the spiked punch and goes around saying "I am Troot" to everyone. Orange and Banana play Fruit Ninja. Lettuce gets mad at Wine for spiking the punch, but Apple breaks the fight by making them watch an Arthur episode about healthy coping mechanisms. The party ends with a big sleepover.

LITERALLY 100% ACCURATE. I LOVE THIS WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING.

The only thing I'd add is that when Radish and Watermelon are on their way back from destroying capitalism, they rob a gas station and bring snacks back for all the other Apple-sonas to enjoy during their sleepover.

Watermelon also totally snagged all the twenties from the register. Radish pretends he didn't notice.

[cowboy-anon]

Welcome to the Apple-Verse

The Video Game

LMAO, I’m CRYING, @sideblogformindtrash came up with the perfect game idea featuring the Apple-sonas and their respective Clays and Benjis and quite frankly it should be illegal that we don’t have it yet.

AKA an ask from sideblog got us thinking about an “Apple party” with all the Apples but the Apples are clingy as heck and absolutely would be trying to get the attention of the Clay’s, who would all be busy looking for their Benjis.

Quick CW: Alcoholic whumper, kicking, knife mention, mentioned dub-con, multiple whumpees, multiple whumpers, whip mention

So, all the Clays are the players and they start in the center. The objective is to fetch a Benji. The Benjis run and hide around the house and backyard (because considering how many Apple-sonas there are, there’s no way they would all fit inside lol).

The Apples are the enemies.

if you run into an Apple, he’ll grab the Clay's legs and not let go until a Clay kicks him enough times to free himself. The Clays can find power-ups throughout the house and backyard like whips and knives to get rid of the Apples faster.

As a Clay, you can also gain skill points that increase his efficiency, such as 'being threatening' and 'infliuence over Benjis” to call them closer.

Each level you successfully complete (by grabbing a Benji), the next has an additional Apple. Being a game about Apple-sonas, of course we’ve got all of them. Bananas are the weakest and the easiest to avoid. Lettuces are the hardest to keep away because all Health Nut Clay’s workouts have made him stronger.

Each Clay himself has advantages and disadvantages. Y’all haven’t really heard about Wine’s Clay (Alcoholic Clay, owner of Apple with red hair) and Raddish’s Clay (a Clay who purposely picked a dark pink-haired Apple for a punching bag), but obviously Alcoholic Clay would have the biggest disadvantage, probably being especially slow and maybe his vision’s weird. BUT this Alcoholic Clay canonically has a dub-con relationship with Wine, and therefore he’d have the advantage and ability to seduce Apples. Things like that, ya feel?

Benjis have a slight disadvantage with Apples, too. I’m sure a specific power-up would give a Clay the ability to influence an Apple and get them to point them in the direction of a Benji.

And if you’ve got enough players (multiplayer), some could play as Clays and some could play as Benjis.

Just-- listen I wish I knew how to make video games because I would actually play the heck out of this lol.