#WHY WOULD U HURT ME LIKE THIS

[mugchild]

absolutely evil of Arundhati Roy to make Estha and Rahel Twins and then have them have the same trauma but letting it manifest in different ways that actually are just two sides of the same coin. Mf really said what if i used foreshadowment in the most fucked up way ever and then was like 'oh yeah this is gonna slap' and she was completely right but why. WHY

like htis is a tragdey. a gddamn tragedy that was born from the moment they were born, born from the moment they were twins, and was always meant to be and there was no damn way that they could've been stopped to not run away and there is nothing we can change as the audience to the narrative like it didn't happen the moment it happened it happened the moment they were born and at the same time it never happened until it happened because it couldnt have happened before because time works like that but at the same time for us it fucking has and it happened and then nothing could be done but nothing could be done the moment we started reading the book

[love-laugh-daydreamarevolt]

Betrayal is when u reblog smthing and very soon ur mutual reblog it from someone else ☹

[painfully-unoriginal]

So I drew these under the assumption that diane used to be part of kitty's crew and realized after that i don't actually know if that's tru or not so uuuuuhhhh probably should've just waited for the movie to come out to start drawing shit but 👍

[luck-of-the-drawings]

EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?

[stephsycamore]

Oh no

sometimes i think about penelope hearing foyet kill haley, this woman she considers extended family, powerless to stop it from happening, and completely alone. i think about her in her lair surrounded by colour and innocent fun, completely detached from her people.

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Another DPXDC post for the first time

Yall remember winged danny? Yea me too the good ol days lads

But imagine Danny in Gothem cause hes either on the run from his family or the GIW you decide boys on the run and probably alone.

He gets picked up by the Waynes at some point and eventually he goes to have the “im not normal talk” but they all know. He is a meta or something. They have been waiting for him to be ready to tell them, if ever. They would accept him no matter what.

Except the time comes and he just “I have wings” and like everyone is shocked™️ Danny gets the idea hes about to be rejected and starts to fold in on himself and someone better snap out of it before the kid cries. Alfred is the one to speak first probably.

Just everyone so shocked but I mean it’s more a shock that they missed this instead of that Danny has wings. After that they fully accept him and apologise. Someone says the “we thought you were about to tell us about your powers!” Danny just has his own little moment before shouting “YOU GUYS KNOW I HAVE GHOST POWERS!?!?!!!?”

Anyway they move on and Danny hardly brings the wings up again but he does get seen around with them every once in a while. But eventually they find out hes not taking care of them as he should. It’s probably Duke who sees Danny with his messy wings and offers to help him.

Let Danny get help with self care ok. The Bats would all go nuts learning how to take care of Danny if he ever asks.

Now imagine the reverse of this and they all know he has wings but not that hes the High Ghost King Phantom.

[ssruis]

My personal take on the tsukasa + toya dynamic is that like. Tsukasa helped toya a lot by giving him the familial warmth & unwavering support that he was not getting from his own family & encouraged toya to do what HE wanted to do with his own life instead of following what his dad wanted when he didn’t enjoy it, as well as kinda being toya’s only source of normalcy and activities outside of the piano as a kid. It’s not a stretch to say that Tsukasa changed Toya’s life for the better (causing him to meet Akito, discover what he’s actually passionate about, meet VBS, actually communicate with and stand up to his dad) and saved him from a future he would hate, it’s literally stated by Toya. Multiple times. & tsukasa still continues to be a huge supporter of toya and does his best to care for him. This stuff is made obvious over and over again -

(Tsukasa’s Kamiyama festival card story)

(Kamiyama festival)

- but toya also helped tsukasa a lot when they were kids too, even if it’s a bit less obvious (only stated outright in one card story iirc). Toya mentions not actually seeing Saki a lot when he was younger, as she was in and out of the hospital

(NGUC)

So it was typically just him and Tsukasa. Tsukasa’s entire dream in life was sparked by seeing how happy a play made saki, and his strange (said fondly) personality in the present day is because he was constantly trying to make her happy with shows/acting when they were kids. Realized it cheered saki up when he put on the Future World Star personality -> constantly acting/emulating the actors he saw on stage or on tv to make saki (and later toya) happy at a formative age -> it gets baked into his personality -> now it’s not even an act it’s just how he is. It’s incurable. (Not a bad thing, just something that explains why he’s such a freak)

A large part of tsukasa’s identity is also being a big brother, which is made really difficult when you’re separated from your little sister constantly, she’s often suffering and miserable, and there’s nothing you can do to help her. As he mentions frequently, her happiness is a priority for him (sorry you’re gonna have to trust me on that one if you for some reason doubt that. Image limit. You understand. One example of many is in one of Saki’s birthday cards.)

And as hard as it was for Tsukasa to be powerless in that situation, it was way harder for Saki, because she was the one in pain/seriously ill/hospitalized throughout a large portion of her childhood. She mentions that she forced herself not to cry in front Tsukasa as a kid so he wouldn’t be upset (doll festival), and while it was happy tears in that situation it’s a safe bet that she tried to do it with any negative emotions too - but she was also suffering & acting happy all the time in that situation would be impossible for an adult, let alone a small child.

(Toya’s doll festival card story)

Tsukasa couldn’t help Saki, but he could help Toya, and through that he was able to help himself/feel a little better. He could cheer Saki up, but that was about the extent of what he could do - he couldn’t stay in the hospital with her or ease her pain or take away her illness. Toya needed a friend/older brother figure/escape from his dad, which Tsukasa actually could provide. I feel like there was definitely some transference there where Tsukasa (unconsciously) just took all the big brotherisms he couldn’t do with Saki and redirected them towards Toya. Which, again, isn’t a bad thing, because he *was* helping toya through this, they formed a genuine strong bond, and it helped him deal with his emotions. + saki got a bonus brother to play with when she was home.

I think people want to water their relationship down to just “haha tsukasa adopts people as his siblings” which isn’t even true* and ignores the very specific set of circumstances that led to Tsukasa considering Toya his younger brother, and the circumstances that led to Toya seeing Tsukasa as an older brother figure, as well as the fact that they’ve known each other for like a decade at this point AND the fact that their parents are close friends.

Their relationship is so strong because it is built off of them both helping each other, not because Tsukasa randomly saw a sad kid and went “you’re my brother now.” Which is also why I’m not a fan of [x random character] is a tenma.** Plus, does saki’s relationship with that character not also matter? Toya’s relationship with Saki is a pretty big part of why he’s considered a part of the family***, even if he’s not as close to her as he is to tsukasa.

*In Tsukasa’s head a star is a good big brother and given that both of those things are deeply entrenched in his personality, he mother hens his friends & does his best to act like a responsible and reliable person towards everyone. As I’ve mentioned before, Wxs KAITO is a reflection of Tsukasa’s ideal self (reliable big brother/leader figure) - nobody says KAITO is adopting siblings left and right (wrt the other vocaloids/wxs). Notably, irrc, wxs KAITO & normal KAITO both desire to be seen as a reliable big brother figure by others, but as a general thing and not a “this guy is literally my brother” thing. Tsukasa is the same situation. He likes to provide a good example for his juniors because that’s what he believes a star should do, which is also why he gets so irritated about Rui “tarnishing his reputation” whenever they get in trouble, and what prompted him to join the disciplinary committee in his third year after hearing underclassmen be like wow the 1-2 oddball finish are so wacky & crazy. Acting like a big brother =/= literally adopting people as siblings.

** you do you though if you enjoy those head canons more power to you. It’s just not my thing (known canon purist).

*** give me like 10 minutes I have stuff to say about that as well that will have to go in a reblog. Image limit strikes again.

[swordheld]

hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?

hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].

but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.

it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.

and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.

the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.

an emptiness, like you said.

but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.

you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.

he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.

but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.

how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.

the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.

think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.

i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.

but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.

as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛

[trans-leek-cookie]

listen I'm not gonna be a Curly apologist he did Fucked Up as captain but I genuinely recommend ppl watch a playthru that goes thru the game in chronological order. It kinda helps clear up the events and gaps between them, bc even tho u See the times, you still experience it out of order.

The stuff Anya says definitely sets off alarm bells but it doesn't seem like he Fully Understands what she means, and I'm going to be 100% honest I think she was trying to repress it herself. This isn't to say that she is AT ALL "at fault" for what happened after and she should've gotten help even if she wasn't ready to fully discuss the issue but I genuinely think she herself was still coming to terms with things, so she didn't necessarily process the full impact before talking to Curly, and a lot of what happens occurs after they're laid off- like this delves into personal interpretation but I genuinely think Anya only registered Jimmy as a serious danger after his outburst towards Curly. Ofc my interpretation is limited bc of the limited pov in game and not having gone through what she has, but it personally reads more akin to coercion over time than a singular Obviously Violent incident (like. Not to say that Sexual Assault isnt violent in nature, just that coercion often specifically works to obfuscate the fact it is a form of violence.) The layoff is a Massive catalyst for her bc of Jimmy, in that she now has a very clear understanding of his capacity for aggression.

To extrapolate a little from the "Dead Pixel" conversation, she starts by saying she Likes The Screen (even though it's fake). While Curly has his quotes about the pixel "not ruining the illusion" which. Y'know is Symbolic Of His Flaws. She doesn't say the pixel ruins it, just that she can't get it out of her mind.

If we take the pixel to represent her Or jimmy, either way the way she talks about it kind of downplays things, like it's a Minor Thing that's Slightly Upsetting, but she's still okay with the big picture. Idk I could be 100% wrong but that is my take

Besides that, Anya tells curly she's pregnant 2 days before the crash, and it isn't until she outright states it that he starts Putting The Pieces Together. I want to note, he says "I'd do anything" and "this doesn't have to go on our performance evals" 1. Before he knows shes pregnant 2. Under the assumption she might attempt suicide, and I doubt he even thought about her using the gun on anyone else before she brings that up. He says literally before the line where she tells him she's pregnant that "being laid off isnt a reason to hurt [herself]". Like I've seen ppl talk about the performance evaluation thing like it's about her and jimmy, but I think he's referring to (his belief) that she might attempt suicide or similar which might genuinely be a consistent thing he's seen her struggle with, given she's able to go through with it. Also just to note: assuming their society is like ours (hellish) reassuring her he won't blab Abt her mental health is like. Genuine reassurance- lots of mentally ill ppl will Not Open Up bc it could have long term consequences (like. For example. On employment) ANYWAYS I hope it doesn't come off like "Curly never failed Anya" but rather "Curly approached this specific situation without the context of why Anya is panicking and (possibly validly) assuming she's dealing with a very different issue"

Also let me say again the time frame is 2 days. We don't Really see what happens, but we know Anya tells Jimmy without Curly knowing. I genuinely believe he maybe didn't do a Great Job in those two days (the fact he says Anya should've talked to Him before telling Jimmy is uhhh. Mm. 1. Your job to create an environment where she comes to you my man 2. Weird to tell her what she should do with HER OWN PERSONAL INFORMATION) but like.

I get a lot of ppl want immediate consequences but consider that they can't really get rid of Jimmy (co pilot. Which is. Y'know it's Own Problems) but also like. Curly knows Jimmy, and we know that Jimmy tends to lash out. Curly should probably Not Confront Jimmy Unless He Knows Exactly How To Keep Him From Hurting Anya. Like I'm not an expert but this is something genuinely important- when confronting an abuser you NEED to take into account the impact it can have on their victim, and sometimes for the victims safety you need to wait until you have a Solid Plan. It sucks but it's important.

And theres discussion to be had about Curly kinda going along with Jimmy saying "well what if we all died" and like. I do believe he Didn't Realize What Jimmy Said. Like he was just processing/trying to keep the situation under control (and failing because he underestimated how willing Jimmy was to hurt everyone including himself).

Like he's definitely an enabler but I would say his problems are mostly before he understands the gravity of the situation, in that he's friends with Jimmy and assumes the best of a man with abusive tendencies, and fails to create an environment that can keep Anya and the others safe. Like, he definitely doesn't handle in game events perfectly (psych evaluation for one- he does do it instead of Anya which is actually helpful, but he still treats it like. Weirdly.)

Idk I have a lot of thoughts about this game and I don't necessarily want to defend Curly but more like. Anya's situation is very delicate (and light on details) so sometimes the way ppl talk Abt it feels like they aren't actually focused on what she wants and what it means to prioritize her safety y'know?

Edit bc I just now figured out kinda how I want to word it: curly is an enabler and making things worse bc he doesn't put a stop to Jimmy's BS, but in the specific scenario we see in game I think he's trying to use his Skillset of like, people pleasing not for Jimmy's sake but for the crews (like "if I nod my head and say I sympathize he won't lash out and hurt them") which like. There are situations which that is unfortunately the safest option (on an individual level yes, but sometimes it's also necessary to prevent abusers lashing out in response toward ppl who are more vulnerable) but it was the Wrong Choice.

It's like. I think Curly was trying and had good intentions, and understood that he needed to protect the crew, but he didn't have the toolset/experience to realize he can't Just go along with things and that he needs to be able to set hard limits, even for ppl he likes and trusts. Like he failed but the failure was "for want of a nail", where it began way before what we see (for want of an understanding of power dynamics I guess.) Again, don't think this makes curly more forgivable or whatever, I just think he's a good example of trying to make the right choices when you never realized you'd have to make these kinds of decisions and therefore are unprepared and/or unaware

Second edit: personally I don't think you can really incapacitate jimmy without there being serious risk (again he's the copilot) but curly should've given Anya the gun when she told him Abt the pregnancy

[puppppppppy]

i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

[gotchibam]

Does anyone here draw in both desktop & mobile? I'm planning to get a galaxy tab at some point and since I don't really have any experience drawing on a (mobile) tablet, I'm curious abt how it feels to draw on one vs. drawing on pc w/ a graphic tablet 🤔

[adimouze]

.

[jackietaylorsghost]

YELLOWJACKETS: 105. Blood Hive ➙ 110. Sic Transit Gloria Mundi

insp @scaryorganmusic:

[annie-handholder]

my day be so fine then boom I remember that post about azula saying "no one knows" when zuko asked where their mom was meant she's spent the morning looking for her mom and asking around where she was :'(

[faunabel]

my fave form of what's basically friends to lovers is when two people meet and have all their own baggage and the connection they form together and love they have for each other forces them to unpack all that baggage if they want to make things work. the kind of relationship where you're forced to look in the mirror and stop avoiding ur own problems because that person forces u to confront all of them (and u force them to confront theirs, too) because the relationship will Not work if you keep up all these walls either from your person of interest or even from urself!!! and there's too much of something there to give up and move on because it's difficult

the kind of thing where there's romance but the real plot of it all is self transformation through loving another. like the focus is on two individuals w/ their own lives who come together and have romantic feelings for each other vs the romance itself being the plot.

and maybe in the end they don't even stay together! maybe it doesn't work out! but there's drastic change and an undeniable impact they both made in each other's lives that will live on. is changing for the better not love in its rawest form?

[wikitpowers]

someone probably asked this before, but what's your top 5 tsc books, characters and ships? have a great dayy <3

OOOH NO DON'T ASK ME FOR FAVS OR I WILL ACTUALLY COMBUST THIS IS TOO HARD !!!

but okay,,, let me think oof let's go (i'm stressed)

my top 5 books are probably:

lady midnight

city of glass

city of heavenly fire

clockwork angel

queen of air and darkness

my top 5 characters (why are u doing this to me):

KIT HERONDALE (are we surprised?)

ty blackthorn

jem carstairs

magnus bane

emma carstairs

AND dru blackthorn (my beloved❤️‍🔥) -> i genuinely refuse to not put her on the list (and ik for a fact she will become even cooler in twp and i’ll fall apart)

my fav 5 (kill me) ships are:

KITTY (<3)

malec

blackstairs

herongraystairs

morgenthorn (i need to add them bc i know they will eat up that enemies-to-lovers plotline)