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izzyspussy · 3 months ago

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and now for more of the exact same thing.

late s3 canon divergence au in which we all live in a world of sunshine and daisies where mickey is allowed to a) be more three dimensional and b) have positive character development that isn't directly connected to his relationship with ian and also it happens when i say it does even though it's kind of really unrealistic and probably slightly ooc but again it's a world of sunshine and daisies and also it's been literally a full ten years since i've so much as heard his voice. cough.

uh so. yeah. late s3 canon divergence au in which mickey fights with ian about how unfair ian is being re: terry + svetlana + mickey staying closeted-ish + etc. idr the order of things but lets just say for the concept's sake that the divergence happens before the whole ian: you love me -> mickey: kicks him in the face thing because. *megamind voice* listen i don't really know where to go with that.

anyway so mickey tells ian to shut up and listen for once in his fucking life and then goes tf off about how marrying svetlana, claiming yevgeny, and staying closeted-ish (for now) is The Right Thing To Do, for various reasons. his own safety first, which it's pretty fucked up for ian to seemingly not care about, and ian's safety too, which is possibly even more fucked up for ian to seemingly not care about.

and then we have like four(?) options going from there.

so option 1 mickey's like: and also hey, he said he wanted to make sure mickey was okay but then three fucking seconds later started berating him. yeah, mickey was being stubborn and cold or whatever but jesus christ. and on that note, why was it so easy for ian to Be There for mandy when this happened to her but not mickey?? and then ian maybe is like that's not the same/that's not what happened (because it really seemed like he didn't realize that. it is the same and that is what happened. and like lmfao from later stuff in the show that we will simply pretend to have not seen, i know that's mainly because the fucking writers don't realize it is the same and that is what happened, and you know what they probably would not give a shit even if they did LOL. but i'm not bitter about it or anything. and since i'm ascribing to murder in real life death of the author here, we're going full watson here and. ian doesn't Get It because lots of people don't - obviously lmao - but he will!!!)

anyway so mickey is visibly devastated by ian saying this, and then he's bitter (just like meeee- wait i mean-) and laughs without humor about how ian is such a hypocrite. about how oh saint ian doesn't have any internalized homophobia. and ian is like what the fuck does that have to do with fucking anything, and mickey tells him oh nothing of course mickey is just talking shit like always since he's sooooo morally inferior and/or stupid and he definitely doesn't understand any of this. but hey! just as a totally unrelated thought experiment, why doesn't ian picture it with lip in his place and mandy in mickey's and with a male whore instead and just see what he thinks is so different/what he thinks happened then. and ian does and mickey sees in his face that he's realized, but he still wants to know. so he asks again why ian cares about mandy more than him. and ian is like well first of all i definitely do not care about mandy more than you and second we should talk apparently talk about this for real for real let's go upstairs for some privacy. and they do and it doesn't solve everything but by god does it help.

okay well that one's not really about anything being The Right Thing To Do, but you know. it's important to me! like i totally get that ian was going through multiple crises at the same time and dealing with the same traumatic event as mickey and also having an actual legitimate clinical mental break and experiencing a state of mind he had never dealt with before. it's not his fault. BUT. even tho it wasn't his fault he was still being completely unfair and none of any of that was mickey's fault either and it always bothered me that only ian ever got to be angry about it. but i digress.

now back to actually the sunshine and daisies unrealistic positive character development (but honestly like........ not really THAT unrealistic. To Me. like the only really unrealistic part is for mickey to be like. Informed enough for this. i think. but like. maturity and self awareness and honesty and courage and a moral code, all that is just maybe a little bit early to arrive here. i think it's an optimistic but not completely unbelievable divergence is what i'm saying! anyway).

so option 2A is like: instead of talking about What Happened and how much ian does or doesn't care, mickey starts talking about The Baby (who at this point is of course not born and i think probably too early along to be gendered let alone named). he's like what do you want me to do man. be just like your piece of shit parents and just abandon this kid because i don't want it? you want to be with a guy like that? and ian's like well it's probably not even yours, considering all the Factors. just get a paternity test and then you're off the hook. and mickey says, "don't be a fucking hypocrite, ian clayton gallagher." and ian's like damn. i want to but i absolutely cannot argue with that huh.

option 2B is more hurt/comfort than that and it goes: mickey starts talking about The Baby. and he's the one to point out it's probably not technically His or whatever. but. the chances that it's still a milkovich are. basically 100. and he points out if he marries svetlana, and he's on the birth certificate, and all around is legally the kid's FatherTM, then terry can't get his fucking hands on it. mickey has full parental rights. he couldn't completely keep the kid safe from terry, not without causing everybody - including the baby - a whole lot more danger right now, but he'd have so much more power to protect it than he otherwise would. he could make sure terry can't be next of kin if something happens to svet and mickey. he could make sure teachers and doctors and whoever else know not to leave the kid in terry's "care". even if terry himself changes his tune later for whatever fucking reason, if svet and/or mickey piss him off and he tries to take their kid away as punishment, or if he just fucking decides he wants another victim/pawn, or whatEVER, and he's the one to demand a paternity test, or if any other random john does, even if it ends up legally documented somewhere that mickey isn't the biological father as long as he and svet are The Parents from the start he would still retain custody and parental rights.

so. mickey marries svetlana. he's put on the birth certificate. he is legally the baby's father until such time as he and/or svetlana decide otherwise and a judge agrees. svetlana gets a marriage visa or green card or whatever the fuck and is now a legal resident. they stay married long enough for her to get naturalized as a us citizen. they get divorced, mickey no-contest hands over full custody to her, she moves to fucking socal or some shit and they never ever ever ever have to fucking see each other again. all her problems are solved, and none of the horrible shit terry put the rest of them through ever has to happen to the baby.

he can't let terry have the baby, mickey says. he can't. it's not fair, he says. it's not right. nobody deserves to be terry milkovich's kid. and sure mickey doesn't want it. he doesn't want to have to sleep next to his- you know, and no doubt svet doesn't want to have to do that either. but even though the baby may or may not be a result of. That. it didn't do it. it didn't do anything. it's just a baby. and mickey's voice is all raised - he's angry, he's scared, he's fucking righteous about this. it's just a fucking baby! its only fucking crime is being born wrong!

and. well. that kinda takes the fucking wind right out of ian's sails. mostly cuz it sucks all the air out of the room altogether. and mickey realizes too, right after he's said that, why he's so. uh. passionate about this. i mean not all the way, or just... he doesn't want to look directly at that yet. but ian can see it on his face that deep down he knows. ian can see it on mickey's face that what sounded like to him is exactly what it was. and maybe he breathes out the softest italicized oh (non-romantic) that has ever been spoken while mickey cringes a little bit and looks away, looks down, ducks his head enough to hide his face, enough to muffle his voice slightly against his own chest. he mumbles, "it's not his fault." he whispers, "he can't help it."

and what thee fuck is ian going to say to that? no? no, i won't support you protecting an innocent kid out of the long-buried goodness of your heart that i always knew was there and reparent yourself in the process? no, i refuse to be involved with you while you make an agonizing sacrifice in the name of kindness and healing, the way i've been demanding you do in my favor for months? no of course not.

but wait hang on i can fix this with the romantically-tinted option 2C, which goes like: mickey says he can't back out, he can't come out. he has to do this. and ian rolls his eyes or scoffs or both or gives mickey the fucking chin or whatever he does to indicate he thinks the reason mickey "has" to do this is because mickey's a fucking pussy and the only other option is to stand up to his dad. and mickey snaps that actually he has more than one (1) fucking motivation dickhead. and ian challenges him, all oh yeah like what. and mickey gets nice and right up in ian's face and gives him the fucking rundown.

i'm doing this because of you, he says. and ian scoffs again of course, but this time mickey just ignores him and steams right on. he says i'm doing this because you are. fucking self-righteous. and spiteful. and controlling. and fucking sadistic. and ian's like is this supposed to make me less pissed off. but mickey goes on. and you're kind. and generous. and god damn chivalrous, for fuck's sake. and so fucking brave. which finally shuts ian and his very, very loud facial expressions up.

so, mickey says. i know that you couldn't give less of a shit right now if svetlana has her kid taken away, gets deported directly into a russian prison, and never sees the fucking sun again in her life. maybe you even wish that on her. maybe i kind of do too. but i also know that if it hadn't happened to you, if you weren't there... if we were friends, and i didn't do this, we wouldn't be friends anymore.

he says, yeah, i love you, you love me. big fucking whoop. that happens to the fucking worst of us.

he says, i want you to like me.

he says, i'm just trying to grow the fuck up, okay? i don't want to be a fucking shallow selfish stupid god damn teenager for my entire fucking life like our piece of shit fucking parents. i want to be a man. and i- even if it's too late or this is too much, i want to be the kind of man that you would like.

so obviously ian is struck completely dumb. he just stares, wide-eyed and amazed and so absolutely wooed, while mickey finishes his fucking. grand speech. while he adds, quiet and exhausted and somewhat resigned, i'm not fucking ready, if i was ever gonna- but. it has to be done. she can't do it by herself. and there's no one else.

and. i mean really the inherent romance of "i want you to like me" and "i want to be the kind of man that you would like" would have been enough. but now here's this killer finishing move too. because you know fiona is ian's hero. and isn't that exactly what she did for all of them? with one fucking choice, mickey has already become the kind of man ian would like. and beyond! he's become the kind of man that ian respects. that ian admires.

and yeah, he'd like to still be angry. he'd like to still be exactly the selfish teenager mickey has decided he no longer is. and they are teenagers, still, so really that should be their fucking right! and also ian's fucking brain is on fire and he doesn't know what the fuck is going on!! but. well. he doesn't want it to be too late. he doesn't want this to be too much. he wants to grow up too, he's always wanted to grow up, to be a man. to be a good man. an honorable and reliable man. he doesn't want to be like- he doesn't want to be like their parents either.

and he wants mickey to like him too.

anyway. i think i'm clinically insane.

#jack facts #shameless #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #gallavich #hc #my fic #WHY AM I HERE!!!!!!!

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