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honestlyfrance · 4 years ago

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just feel; let’s exist

ship: sam/bucky

warnings: hurt/comfort, suicidal implications

summary:

“Where are you, Sam?” Bucky whispered, dragging his hand on Sam’s back, rubbing careful circles to ease the tension in his man’s muscles.

Sam shuddered at the touch, murmuring, “I don’t know,”

Bucky tries to keep Sam grounded for the night.

—■—■—

We’d all like to know what’s it like living in the Avengers Mansion secluded in the vast forest, the same mansion that you could only reach with a rocky dirt path, the same one where it stretches with its landing strips and pools, the same one where it looked more like a castle lost in the 16th century than one in the 21st century, and the same one where the sunrises were almost as perfect as the ones in Wakanda. Despite this description, Sam Wilson would tell you it was a noisy place, always full of fights and silent conversations—other times it’s a game of cat and mouse on who can eat the last platter of brownies before the super-soldiers can get to them.

Everyone wanted to know what it felt like to live at the top of the world, unbothered and untethered. Not even touched by the weather, god gifted and forever immaculate: What does heaven feel like? They’ll say it tastes like copper blood, everlasting and stained. Others would say that heaven does not exist, and it’s hell on earth in the Avengers Compound; constant tension in the hallways, there’s always a reason for thunder to break through the walls and shatter the mirrors. It doesn’t sound like heaven, and maybe it shouldn’t be called as such.

Most nights it did feel like heaven on earth, when the room was just the right cold, the water pressure was just right, and the hallways were peaceful as it can be on a Thursday, it’s almost as if you were on top of the world. Damned those who think not, it was better when it was empty and vast as it should always be.

It was always so full of life, and other times it was full of sorrow, resentfulness, and even, death.

This was one of those nights, the nights when Sam feels decayed and broken to the bone , almost numb at the overriding sensation throughout his body. It should’ve been illegal to feel this way, empty and vulnerable to even air, feeling as if you may crumble at the very touch of kindness. It shouldn’t be like this, but it always has to be; c'est la vie. What can anyone do?

Sam sat on the rounded couch in the vast living area. It had high ceilings, two chandeliers hanging precariously with its heavy diamonds and crystals; the couch was in an unlevel flooring, shaped for the large rounded velvet couch; the moonlight was streaming in the drawn open French windows that reached the arches of the walls; the rose bushes were in full bloom in view of the windows, full and lovely; the TV screen was sat atop a long desk, decorated with picture frames of the members of the Avengers all smiling and serious; the room was dim lit except for the moonlight, and there’s an uneasiness in the room. It was nearing midnight, and Sam didn’t make any plans to go back to bed.

Everything seemed to swallow him whole, and the vastness was only eating at his sides, bringing him down just to build him back up again with hope; it’s a sickening plot to take him down but his mind was almost peeling at the seams, and there’s a need to kill his overwhelmed senses before dawn, because there’s a ticking in his head that he had interpreted as a ticking bomb that would implode him and his thoughts when the sun would rise.

It’s saddening, how the world could beat him down into a pulp, taking his mentality and sensibility. The world has stripped him down to the bone and left his soul to burst into flames, an open-to-all show for the world to see. This is your Captain America! and you’ve let him burn to ashes! The world has left him to drown like an Icarus, burnt to a crisp and broken like glass. Nothing could ever piece him back together except for death, and even then it wouldn’t be the same. There’ll be an aftertaste in his mouth that would taste like gunfire and carcasses, and he wouldn’t be able to wash that foul taste without burying himself six-feet-under.

In the silence of the mansion and the dimness of the night, it’s here that he let himself daze into nothingness, feeling the void wrap itself into his bones, etching his fate with a pen-knife and salt, embracing his wounds as if the Mona Lisa to its Louvre. Sam lets himself decay with the stars, and if his fate leads him into his bed, then so be it; he’s lived long enough, won’t that mean he’d die short enough?

The silence seemed to ring in his ears, and there’s an ache in his chest he couldn’t cater to; it seemed too far away for him to reach, and if it was close enough for his fingers to grasp, it would turn futile. He would let it be; who’s going to tell him otherwise? There’s not a person in the world who decided to let Sam thrive, and even if they did, it was obviously not enough. Sam knew his worth, but did he know this could save him? Months of spiraling into the void, Sam has finally recollected and called himself “extinct.” Reminiscing would lead him nowhere, and the happy thoughts he had clutched onto had become stone; Sam did know his worth, but it only became his enemy.

Sam knew what it meant to know things and had felt things to conflict it, in the end burying himself in his own grave from the pressure of the world. Life has offered him endless tragedies and he has offered nothing but service, ruthlessly nice and angelic to the halo and wings, and it’d be a shame to have him drown in Atlas and the world’s burdens, but that’s what people make him do; stripped down to “support” and “partner” all in one, the world will forever see him in this facade.

As the ache in his chest began to sear him, Sam suppressed his cries to beg mercy at the world; he’s been abused to the bone that he’d let himself get down on his knees to beg for a sliver of mercy from the world. There’s tears rolling down his cheeks as he gritted his teeth, clenching his jaw at every sensation he felt. There was the need to numb himself, and he’d do that even if he has to physically hurt himself, to ache at the skin— yes, maybe that would work…

Footsteps approach Sam, breaking his soliloquies. Sam was left with ragged breaths, wiping his tears away with his bare hands when Bucky Barnes had plopped down right beside him, invading his personal space. Bucky was panting, wiping his forehead with a face towel before facing Sam with a splitting grin; it disappeared when Bucky saw the red in Sam’s eyes, and so Bucky immediately gave the man some space.

“Hey,” Bucky gently spoke, his hands wringing in between his thighs, “You— You don’t have to say anything,” he put on a small smile for Sam, but the man only sniffled, turning into convulsive sobs, “Do you want me to leave? I can give you more space. Do you want me to stay? I have some, uh, few ideas to get your mind off things…”

Sam turned to the rough fabric of the couch for comfort, crying into it as he choked on his sobs. Bucky sat beside the man, resting his chin on his crossed arms on the backrest of the couch; he had fear glinting in his eyes as he watched one of the strongest men he knew break down in pieces. There’s an unmistakable anguish in the air, one that brittles the strong with crashing waves, and Bucky feared for it.

“What do you need right now, Sam,” Bucky whispered into the darkness, and there’s a softness in his tone that just breaks Sam even more.

Sam looked up from his arms, a glare burying Bucky to the ground as he says, “Don’t treat me like I’m fragile,”

Bucky took a double-take, but nonetheless nodded carefully, afraid he’d hurt Sam even more. There’s an unspoken rule about comforting someone: Don’t hurt them even more . Bucky stood up, arms in awkward positions as Sam went back sniffling into his arms. Bucky’s heartstrings chimed to the tune of a love song, one that sings just for Sam; there’s now the only goal he had in mind: make Sam happy .

“Everyone’s fragile, Sam,” Bucky whispered, his voice barely above a murmur, but Sam must’ve heard it, because he stopped his whimpers and stayed robotically still, “Their brokenness only depends on how people handle them,”

Sam looked up, his lips twisted as his eyes searched for something in Bucky. “Stay,” he whimpered.

Bucky warily comes back in his seat, Sam inching towards the warmth of Bucky. Bucky wrapped his arms around Sam’s waist as the man leaned into Bucky’s body, nestling his head on Bucky’s chest. They lied down like this for minutes long, feeling each other’s breathing blend into each other. Bucky tries to even his breathing, already fearing the way his own heart beats deafeningly into the night; does Sam hear the fear and anxiety Bucky feels for him revibrate in his chest, or was Sam too deep into his thoughts to feel anything outside of him?

Bucky planted a soft and gentle kiss on the top of Sam’s head, and Sam instinctively groaned at the action; Sam’s body reacted by burying himself deeper into Bucky, as if it was still possible. If anything, they were practically connected into each other, atoms sharing and merging with one another they wouldn’t be surprised if they had melted into each other's souls by dawn.

Dawn .

Sam lifted his head, and Bucky whimpered at the loss of heat. Sam set his hands on Bucky’s knees as he blinked at the darkness, trying to figure out the murky shapes in the living area; he almost jumped when he saw something move in the darkness, only to realize it was Natasha Romanoff’s cat, Liho, moving around by the carpet. Bucky watched the back of Sam’s head, his eyebrows knitted together as he tried to decipher Sam. It seemed like everyday that Sam was jumpy and spaced out, almost like an astronaut from the many times he’s been into the void — Bucky just wanted to bring him back down with him on Earth.

“Where are you, Sam?” Bucky whispered, dragging his hand on Sam’s back, rubbing careful circles to ease the tension in his man’s muscles.

Sam shuddered at the touch, murmuring, “I don’t know,”

Liho is now on the other end of the couch joined by the other cats, Alpine, Goose, and Figaro; so that’s what those menaces do at night.

Bucky sighed, bringing back his grip on Sam’s shoulder, easing out the ache of the world out of him; if it was only possible. Bucky wished it was that easy, because Sam didn’t deserve an inch of this bullcrap, however the world seemed fit, angels just don’t need the burden of Atlas as if it wasn’t from different religions in the first place. If there was just a magic word Bucky could say to bring Sam back down on base, he'd make a song out of it— Anything. Anything that would give back Sam his control, Bucky would pick it out from hell itself if it could bring Sam peace and comfort.

“Why do I bother,” Sam murmured, his voice raspy and ragged.

Bucky hesitantly set his forehead on Sam’s back, breathing in the scent of him; he exhaled, saying, “We bother because we care,” he breathed in once more, his eyes shut closed, “Sometimes we care too much to feel anything. Which is why we rest… Feel… Breathe in…”

“I know,” Sam’s eyebrows furrowed, staring into the void of darkness as his idle hands grew sweatier and colder, “I… I can’t seem to do anything right now…”

“Then let’s just exist, Sam. Come back down for you.”

Bucky rested his head right on Sam’s back, eyes upwards as he heard the mewling of the four cats approaching them. They both chuckled at that, and for a moment, the world stopped spinning and had rested just for the two of them. Sam lied back down, bringing Bucky down with him; Sam curled himself deeper into Bucky’s chest as the other rested his feet on top of the mahogany coffee table before them. Liho finds a spot between Bucky’s legs and Alpine is soon behind him; the other two cats, Bucky thinks, should scram before the two of them do anything more.

They sat down for a moment, overwhelmed by the silence to move, and it feels nice to have the weight be lifted from one’s chest; there’s a pang of pain to breathe but there’s also the love that revibrates within the heart, and it blares so loudly between these two it shouldn’t be hard enough to stay oblivious to this.

“You don’t have to talk,” Bucky whispered in Sam’s ear; Sam hummed in acknowledgement, “I know. I know it’s hard, and it’s fine to be fragile,” he rubbed circles on Sam’s back with his palm, then his fingers, feeling Sam sigh deeply into his chest, “One thing I’ve learned is that… You should just exist. Alone or together, any is fine; just breathe and feel, Sam. The pain leaves like a bandaid,”

It’s probably near two in the morning when Natasha emerges from her bedroom on the other side of the mansion to retrieve Liho, scooping up the noir feline from Bucky’s legs. In exchange, Natasha had brought the two a blanket, and apparently Bucky had requested to bring his laptop and secret stash of champagne. No sooner had she left with her cat, Goose had followed as well, meowing all the way down the hallway.

“What are you doing?” Sam drawled out, suppressing a grin as Bucky laid out the blanket around them.

Bucky had set down his laptop on his lap, opening up a browser and going incognito; Sam watched Bucky enter a website that had too many ads for one’s liking, entering a movie title that had only disappeared from the cinemas just yesterday. The movie began to play and Bucky raised the volume, Alpine setting her paws on his arm as he did this. Chuckling, Sam popped open the champagne with surprising ease, laughing fully as some of it spilled; Figaro crawled on top of his legs, and Sam had run a hand across his cat’s fur as Bucky snuggled deeper into the duvet.

They took turns drinking the alcohol straight from the bottle, and no sooner had Bucky seen a smile form on Sam’s face, all gap-tooth and wide, it was too beautiful to miss, even in the darkness. Everything fell back into place, but there’s a new atmosphere surrounding them as explosions and guns blared from the speakers, their two cats purring in the background making everything harder to move, and their breathing was too close to each other to ignore.

They didn’t know who was the first one to lean into the kiss, but they both knew they wanted this. Long and languid kisses ensued between them, and Bucky’s advice ringed in their heads: Just feel , and they did; they felt each other’s skin against each other as their hands found their way to cup the other man’s cheek and bring them closer with a hand on the neck. They rested against each other’s foreheads as they breathed heavily, eyes still closed as they let the taste of the other be ingrained into their heads, never wanting to forget what love finally tasted like: it tasted like champagne turned into wine and the living room into an abandoned movie theatre, and it felt ten times colder but they were too warm in their hearts to complain.

They stayed like this for another movie, just existing together and alone, and if the world has decided that enough was enough and that they should break apart, just know this: though they were both fragile, in each other’s presence they felt too strong to even believe they were weak in the first place. Dawn had just arrived, and they could say they’ve stayed for another day.

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #winterfalcon #sam wilson sundays #france: works #france: writing #sambuckyfic

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rozen-neverland · 3 years ago

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Winter Lotus

“How I wish I would meet my end in this bed of everlasting white,” I whisper as the snowflakes cover my numbing body, slowly losing consciousness.

“Weren’t you searching for someone?

“It seems as though you have given up on the one you love or should I say you relinquished yourself.”

“Heh, I guess my regrets have come to haunt me in my final moments.”

“Do you still believe so,” asks the previously unknown presence, now embodying the form of a young woman with light sky-blue eyes, resembling the reflection of the firmament once its color has reached the stainless snow. However, this isn’t the only visible feature that makes her seem alien, yet familiar. Her hair, which possesses the same light azure as her eyes, fades into an even lighter blue, the longer it becomes. And the fine, gentle fabric of her dress flutters in the air like the wings of a morpho butterfly.

Something about her reminds me of the cold and fleeting existence of Winter itself, but at the same time, she mirrors the image of a blooming Lotus.

“What are you?”

“I am the snow crystals which caress your skin. I am the coat, encompassing creatures in my untainted veil of protection. My waters are the claws that pierce and paralyze your very soul. I am the lullaby evoking your winter slumber. Therefore, I possess the ability to sustain life, nevertheless, take it as well.

“I was born from the snowfall in the early spring. You may address me as Lotus.”

“Why does the Winter Spirit show its true form to me?” I ask, gradually feeling my body once again and with it the nearly unbearable pain, drilling into my skin.

“Had I not shown up when I did, you would have given yourself completely to Winter and there would have been no turning back.”

“What do you mean by that?” Giving myself to Winter?

“There is a cycle of Winter and every creature that fades by cause of Winter becomes a part of it or rather, becomes a part of me. It is a natural occurrence.”

“If this cycle you speak of is something normal, why did you want to prevent me from entering it?”

“A force inside me wishes to save you. I do not quite understand it myself, but I believe it has to do with her, she who intertwined with my existence a short while ago.”

“When someone’s being merges with yours and enters the cycle, does that mean that very person dies in this realm?”

“Yes, I believe you humans describe it as such.”

I now understand why this entity seems so dear and despite her cold words is capable of reaching the warmest part of me, my core. How could I allow myself to forget?

This feeling... is it loss?

Lotus’s desire to approach me in order to preserve my life was the love of her to watch over me, she whom I came here to find... yes, I did find her, her lifeless body that is. She and the dwelling waterlilies were taken by the excruciating frost.

Regardless, I now know that death does not exist. In truth, we, our souls are eternal. The only thing that changes is our appearance, our form, just as a caterpillar morphs into a graceful butterfly and Winter is in actuality a luminous young woman.

She and her feelings will always be a piece of Lotus and I will join her once my shell is about to crumble.

“It is time for me to go” I rise unsteadily upon my feet. “She would have wanted it this way”

“Wait. I can nevermore reside in this sphere, governed by Darwinism, for I have changed. Though, this place I once oversaw continues to be indifferent. There is no place for a Spirit which is incapable of being neutral. I shall remain in your company if that is alright.”

And so, Lotus and I abandoned Winter, the Winter you wait for each year, but never seems to grace you with its presence.

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ffxiv-ariavitali · 4 years ago

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XI: Stay

[MAJOR 5.3 SPOILERS] BELOW THE CUT. LIKE, IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE CUT. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

On the topic of love: Aria Vitali and G’raha Tia | Crystal Exarch

1896 words

AO3 ver.

“I concede, I may have overexerted myself.”

Aria peered down with wide eyes as the Exarch’s body was threateningly close to becoming encased in crystal, a desperation thrumming within her chest alongside panic and pain.

“Steady now and listen.”

The buzzing only grew louder within her mind, for how could she stay steady and how could she just listen when he was about to be taken away from her? Were it not for the reassuring smile that he had given him, the self-same smile that she had seen as he was about to enter into slumber within the Crystal Tower, she would have thrown a fit—a frantic fit amidst fear and hurt.

“We have won, my friend.”

And yet, I am to lose you a second time, is what the woman wanted to scream, to shout, for it certainly seemed to be the case. They say that victory cannot be won without sacrifices and, throughout the years, there are three that remained so hard-hitting within her heart; he was one of them.

“So I hope you’ll forgive me this moment of selfishness. And...while I wouldn’t want you to feel obliged…”

When Aria and the Exarch looked towards each other, a mutual and silent understanding of the emotions going through one another, it was at this that they reached out for each other’s hand. Aria didn’t know whether it was artificial comfort for him, being covered in crystal and all, but it did well to soothe the ache within her own heart. For she didn’t think she could go on with the way he looked at her and she knew she was doing the same to him.

“Promise me you’ll take me on your next adventure. A journey. Together. That’s all I ask.”

With these words, the woman couldn’t prevent the stream of tears flowing from her amethyst eyes. She wanted to be strong for him in this moment of weakness and vulnerability, but she couldn’t hold back this time. Not this time.

“You could have asked me earlier…!” she exclaimed through the tears with a smile.

Her words certainly caught the man off guard, for he released a helpless chuckle in response, a memory of his youth emerging from when she said the exact same thing to him after he whined about her not taking him with her to Mor Dhona.

“If I were to tell you that isn’t the end—that we will meet again—would you believe me?”

As Aria allowed the gears to turn in her head, she finally understood the meaning behind his words, behind his nonchalance. It was so like him, she thought, to leave her so worried and hanging for so long. It was so like him...that she couldn’t help but nod helplessly in response as she reached out and presented him with the vessel he had fashioned for himself. The same vessel he was going to use as a test before he allowed the others to try it for themselves.

With a ‘thank you’ did he place his crystalline hand on top of hers, atop the vessel, with a broken voice and there was a spark that was shared between the two like-minded individuals, the two connected individuals bound together by the red string of fate.

When that was finished, the Hyuran woman watched the Miqo’te pull up his hood and struggle to his feet. All the while saying:

“My friend. With you, my mind and memories shall travel to the ends of the world and beyond. But in this place shall my body stand immovable.”

She watched as he stepped closer towards the throne before straightening his back to stand tall. She could only listen as he continued his words to her:

“May it serve as an undying promise, not only to those who looked to me for leadership, but to any soul who has known despair, that hope is everlasting.”

It was in these words that Aria slowly followed, raising up the vessel to his once more, and as it began to glow in attunement as he began the test, she felt warmth beginning to emanate from the vessel itself. The warmth of his soul growing slowly as he went on with the process, undoubtedly leaving behind a cold statue in his wake in light of his merge with the Tower—his price to pay.

Yet, he smiled.

He smiled as he, in the end, became nothing more than a crystallized husk of the Crystal Exarch, standing proud and tall before Xande’s seat of honor. He smiled as Aria did the same, for saying goodbye with a smile was what she had learned to do after all these years.

When he had become completely engulfed and she had heard the Scions’ footsteps approaching from behind, Aria allowed herself to feel the grief that she had held back as she brought the glowing vessel filled with his soul closer to her person. She allowed herself to embrace it as if her life depended on it as she fell to her knees to weep. Even when she knew her comrades were watching, she released the pitiful screams and wails that reverberated from her entire body as her figure shook. As the tears fell. As her heart was torn and mended and torn yet again.

Though, only half of her was wallowing in her grief.

Indeed, for the other was cheering from every corner of heart, mind and spirit.

Your dream came true, Raha…! It would cry out in such utter pride and joy. You were the hero that you have always dreamt of being!

With this part, she hoped and prayed that the theories held true. She trusted her bestest friend, her closest friend, with the words that he had given her. She will trust his hope…

...for he is her hope.

❅ ❅ ❅

Upon the final hour of departure, Aria watched as her comrades underwent the same process that he had before his last breath.

She waited and prayed to the Twelve that the theories would hold true.

She prayed as she collected the vessels together and put them away in her bag.

She prayed and she prayed as she took a deep breath…

...and crossed the portal to the Source.

❅ ❅ ❅

Aria was quick to rush Krile and Tataru into Dawn’s Respite. She was quick to lay out the vessels accordingly, corresponding to each one of her friends. It wasn’t at all too long until the soul and body began reaching out to one another, began attuning to one another, and returned that which belonged.

Alisaie was the first, followed by Thancred. Then, it was Y’shtola, Urianger and Alphinaud, each awakening and sitting up bit by bit. Aria was grateful, relieved and all manner of other emotions that she couldn’t put into exact words for there were no words that could describe just how thankful and blessed she was that the process was successful.

Then, Y’shtola bade her:

“...I doubt any of us will be fit to travel for some while. May we leave the rest to you?”

Aria stared at the woman, the woman that had first found her back when she had begun her adventuring days in Limsa Lominsa, and understood immediately what she had meant. Her eyes widened, baffled that the topic would even be brought up when they had only recently returned. It is only with Urianger’s reassurances that she allowed herself to do what she wanted immediately:

“The vessel beareth our comrade’s blood. With it in thy possession, the way will surely open before thee.”

So, the woman ran. Exhausted as she was, she ran all the way from Mor Dhona, forgetting that she had her chocobo and mounts alike, and just ran. Ran to the ferry that went between the edge of the lake to Syrcus Trench, ran from the landing towards the doors of the Crystal Tower.

As she ran, she heard the familiar ringing of rock landing on rock and when she peered over her shoulder to see what it was, she found the crystal—the constellation stone belonging to the seat of Azem, the Fourteenth member of the Convocation.

Aria remembered Hythlodeus’ words as she stepped towards the crystal to retrieve it, holding it close. She remembered him. She remembered Hades. She will continue to live to keep the promise, in memory of those that were lost and left behind.

With this in mind, she turned once more to the doors, presented the vessel and waited patiently as the ward diminished, unlocking the gates. The doors opened easily and she could feel the vessel pulsating warmth from her hand. Surely, his soul was crying out to his body, the body of this world’s version of himself. He was as eager as she was, that’s for certain.

Eager to greet him with a ‘good morning.’

❅ ❅ ❅

Some days later, the Scions were speaking amongst themselves on the balcony of Rowena’s House of Splendors. They noticed Aria and Krile’s return when the Lalafellin woman had released cries of exhaustion and made a beeline for the closest seat at the twins’ table. They saw the way Aria eyed her with immense gratitude and respect before turning to the others to greet them.

“By Mistress Krile’s exhausted state, may I assume that the ward hath been restored?” Urianger then asked.

Aria could only smile at him as she turned towards the catwalk leading to the open balcony, towards an approaching figure so shy and humble. She smiled at the man as he explained the success in restoring the ward to the Crystal Tower, once again locking it away so that its infinite energies can’t be misused for evil deeds. She watched and she smiled with immense pride, such immense pride.

“Said duty thus discharged, thou art free to go wheresoever thy fancy taketh thee,” Urianger then exclaimed with relief. “Upon which note—hast thou perchance come to a decision? The offer remaineth open.”

Aria turned to eagerly await the man’s answer, her eyes sparkling even against the glints of sunlight reflecting from the amethyst hue, and when he stammered over his words—completely and utterly unsure of himself for this briefest of moments—Aria’s smile widened as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Raha, really,” she interjected.

The Scions saw how her words affected the man, his ears perking up and his tail swaying restlessly behind him. Thus did he straighten his back, gathering his courage, and painted a smile over his own face.

“I accept,” G’raha Tia responded to Urianger’s inquiry earnestly. “Henceforth, I shall count myself a Scion of the Seventh Dawn. G’raha Tia, at your service.”

After his introduction, after he had descended the few steps to join them, the Scions watched as Aria could no longer help herself as she jumped towards him, wrapping her arms tight around his figure. Her cheeks were flushed a bright shade of red, matching his eyes, as the Miqo’te flustered, unsure of how to respond.

“I...am so glad,” Aria whispered quietly so only he could hear. “I am glad that you are here to stay.”

G’raha blinked in surprise before he smiled and returned her embrace. Indeed, he was here to stay—the place being right by the side of his inspiration. For wherever she chooses to go, fate is sure to follow. Hope is sure to follow.

His love is sure to follow.

#ffxiv writing #aria vitali #g'raha tia #crystal exarch #y'shtola rhul #alphinaud leveilleur #alisaie leveilleur #urianger augurelt #thancred waters #tataru taru #krile mayer baldesion #seaswolchallenge #patch 5.3 #ffxiv spoilers #shadowbringers spoilers #ffxiv 5.3 spoilers #ffxiv patch 5.3 spoilers

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spideyspoods · 6 years ago

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Promises

Pairing: Steve Rogers X F!Reader

A/N: I posted this and edited to add some tags and it deleted the ENTIRE (tout) the text. screw you, tumblr. Anyways I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Warnings: Endgame spoilers & angst!

Word Count: 2,129

Masterlist!

Part One!

Part Two!

The minute each of them pressed the glowing blue button, they floated through the quantum realm. Admittedly, Y/N thought it was quite beautiful; blurs of blue and red circles whizzed past as they traveled at lightspeed. Beyond the beauty, she couldn’t quite shake the fear off her shoulders. Missions were never easy or safe, she knew that. But the realm itself was open. It spanned for who knew how long until you drift off into nothing.

It seemed that in an instant, they’ve reached Morag. Isolated and gloomy, a red beam of light was blocked by the dark clouds looming overhead. Rhodey looked over to Nebula, uneasy. “You’ve got this. Now go and kick some alien ass.” Y/N winked. Over his shoulder, Rhodey muttered, “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” Both of them stepped foot on the rocky terrain and the remaining three still on the Benatar swapped positions. “Sorry, Y/N; Elders in the front.” Clint said as he dashed to take the passenger seat. Defeated, Y/N buckled up behind Natasha as she swiftly input the coordinates for Vormir. The ship trembled with turbulence once they sped through the universe at the speed of light.

“Looks like we’re a long way from Budapest.” which earned a chuckle from Nat. For the amount of times they’ve referenced it, no one truly knew what it meant. “What the hell happened in Budapest?”

The trio touched down on Vormir and it wasn’t any more welcoming than Morag. “With all of the alien invasions, you would think each planet would be crawling with them.” Y/N said. She stepped out of the spaceship and her sole of her boots slid amongst the mounds of sand. Natasha scoped, looking for the soul stone and ultimately pointed to the top of the only mountain on the planet. “Doesn’t look so bad.”

“Famous last words.”

It seemed like an endless trek to a summit that didn’t even exist. As they continued climbing upwards, it started to snow and the temperature dropped. At the top, each of them stopped to catch their breath. “Bet the raccoon didn’t have to climb a mountain.”

“Technically he’s not a raccoon.” quipped Clint. Y/N rolled her eyes, “You know her point, Barton. Let’s get this over with-”

“Who comes here?” A strained, hollow voice whispered. Like second nature, all of them pointed a weapon and turned. A ghostly figure floated in the air, a black cloak covering its features.

“Natasha, daughter of Ivan. Clint, son of Edith. Y/N, daughter of-”

“Let’s skip the pleasantries, shall we? Who are you?” Y/N stated rather impatiently. The figure seemed to drift closer.

“Consider me your guide. To you and to all who seek the soul stone.”

“Great. You tell us where it is and we’ll be on our way.” Natasha’s gun was still aimed at it, unwavering. Stepping out of the shade, it’s gaunt features sent a chill down her spine. With red skin and no flesh, it seemed to ring a bell in Y/N mind. She had remembered Steve mentioning Red Skull a few times, but wasn’t he already dead?

“If only it were that easy.”

At a slow and haunting pace, he stepped forward and gestured towards a cliff. Y/N shared an uneasy look at the two of them, feeling her heart drop to her stomach.

“What you seek lies in front of you, as does what you fear.”

“The stone’s down there.” Clint joined and looked down to the black abyss below.

“For one of you. In order to take the stone, you must lose which you love. An everlasting exchange,” he announced “a soul for a soul.”

Moments later, Natasha sat on a boulder deep in thought while Clint stood still. On the other hand, Y/N paced back and forth. “Maybe he’s joking, wouldn’t be the first time we’ve been played.”

“No. Thanos went here with his daughter and left without her.” Y/N turned around, grasping for anything. She couldn’t lose either one of them.

“Maybe it was just a coincidence, Nat.”

“Well I’ve never come across a coincidence I’ve liked.” She stood up as Y/N took a shaky breath. “Whatever it takes.” she echoed Steve’s words from moments ago, the weight of it all finally setting in. The pieces clicked together in Natasha and Clint’s minds and rushed towards the younger Avenger. “Y/N you can’t-” Clint grasped for her hand but she shook it off, “You can’t either! They can’t lose you, either of you!” she blinked away her tears before they could fall “The original six, there’s no way I’m letting you do it. Part of the journey is the end, isn’t that what Tony said?” Shaking her head, she defiantly stepped closer to the edge. “Y/N stop!”

“Your journey is just beginning, Y/N.”

“Clint, you have a family. Nat, you can finally find the peace you deserve. Safety. Home.” To that, the woman with red locks looked down, not being able to meet her gaze. Y/N had always been special to her. While they joked around, Y/N was always there for her no matter what. Clint held his head up. Ever since the day she joined them, he took her under his wing and made her feel at ease. He considered her one of his children, and he couldn’t possibly imagine saying his jokes to no witty responses anymore.

“What about Steve? You can’t leave him like this.” At the sound of his name, she stopped walking. Her heart ached, knowing that they’ll never reach their happy ending; but maybe happily ever after never existed. She thought back to their conversation just over a week ago, how they would reside in a small cabin in the woods and watch their children run around. She knew he would have done the same thing in her shoes. Maybe they were both reckless. It brought a somber smile on her face, to remember her last conversation with him.

“Wait for me?”

“I will.”

“Tell Steve to take all the time he needs. I’ll wait for as long as he wants.” with a teary eyed smirk, she composed herself.

“No! Y/N!” and she ran off the ledge, without looking back.

Present Time

With the press of a button, all of them were back in the Quantum Tunnel. Scott raised both his arms in the air and cheered, “Hell yeah! We did it!” shortly before everyone noticed someone was missing. Steve looked to his right, where Y/N should have been standing. Empty. “Clint, Nat? Where’s Y/N?” His blue eyes tried to find some answers in theirs, but to no avail. Clint dropped to his knees and Nat spoke barely above a whisper, “she’s gone.”

Hollow. That’s how Steve felt. He thought he knew what pain felt like; deep cuts and hits that would leave a mark on his skin. But through the entire century he had lived, he had felt nothing like this before. Steve felt absolutely shattered, depleting anything of his energy remaining dedicated to letting his anguish out on a few punching bags. Sometimes, he’d avoid walking past her old room in fear of reliving the times they spent together, not okay with the fact that they were nothing but mere memories now. He would grimace at the irony that he helped people cope with their pain, when it seemed that he lost any idea on how to. He heard a soft knock on his open door and he didn’t bother turning to check who it was. He found a photo frame perched atop the dresser. It was taken at the first ever Stark Gala they attended as a couple. Each of them smiled wider than ever as they looked into each other's eyes. God, he missed her.

“Steve, I miss her too.” Natasha sat on his bed, right next to him. His eyes were glossed over and bloodshot, dark circles around his eyes. She knew that he wouldn’t say anything, he hasn’t for the entire day. “You know she wanted me to tell you something before she,” she coughed “sacrificed herself.” He lifted his head up a little over an inch while turning to face Natasha. “She said ‘take all the time he needs. I’ll wait for as long as he wants.’” and to that, Steve let a tear drop onto the glass frame.

After collecting himself back together again, he jumped straight back into the mission. Y/N died for this, and he wanted to honor her. He vowed to give her a proper funeral afterwards, once the world went back to normal. After Bruce snapped with the gauntlet, their goal was over; save everyone else. The clear skies only lasted for so long before each of them realized that Thanos’ army would resurrect and wreak havoc. Steve didn’t really remember what happened, or if it even did. In the moments he would fall down, he’d think about Y/N and stood back up again. From the corner of his eye, he could see Tony wielding the gauntlet. He achingly got back up on his feet, in time to turn away from a blinding white light that lasted for a few seconds. Around him, aliens were reduced to nothing but dust. Thanos looked at his defeat, before his ashes fluttered away. For the first time in a while, Steve smiled. Quickly, he took in Tony’s pale and lifeless face. Steve watched from a distance, not wanting to interrupt his last few moments with the people he loved. Pepper pressed a lingering kiss to his cheek before the remaining life in his eyes faded away.

Tony’s funeral was merged with Y/N’s. Each avenger paid their respects as wreaths dedicated to them floated above the still water. A photo of Y/N was displayed on top of the wooden dock. Steve remembered how much she hated the photo; she would say that it wasn’t her best angle, but he loved it anyways. Her eyes sparkled and her smile brought the sun to shame. Steve finally came to peace with it, he’d meet her again soon; he just knew it.

With a briefcase filled with stones in hand, Steve looked to Bucky. He had told him of his plans already and with reluctance, Bucky ultimately let him. It was the least he deserved. “Don’t do anything stupid ‘til I get back.”

“How can I? You’re taking all the stupid with you.” They shared a brief hug before Steve stepped back into the tunnel. “How long is this gonna take?” “For him, as long as he needs,” Steve suited up hearing Y/N’s voice echo in Bruce’s words “but for us five seconds.” Five seconds pass and he hasn’t appeared. Calmly, Bucky pointed to a bench where an old man sat. Tentatively, Sam approached him.

“Hi, Sam.” Steve’s hair went gray, and his voice grew old.

“So did something go wrong or did something go right?” Sam immediately took in the fact that there was a solemn smile on his face. “Well after I put the stones back, I thought maybe I should try some of that life Tony told me to get.

“How’d that go?”

“It was beautiful.” Steve slowly reached for the circular bag and unzipped it to show a shield, in mint condition. “Try it on.” Carefully, Sam held it on his arm but it didn’t feel right.

“Thank you, Steve.” He caught a glimpse of a glimmering object on Steve’s ring finger; a golden wedding band. “Are you gonna tell me about her?”

“No. I don’t think I will.” Sam stepped back to Bruce and Bucky, giving the old man space. From a pocket on the inside of his jacket, Steve pulled out a photo that yellowed over time. He looked upon the figures on the sheet.

Y/N and Steve with their two children in their arms, relaxing near a picturesque lake similar to the one in front of him.

He smiled, remembering the promise they’ve made to each other.

Thank you for reading! Feedback is greatly appreciated, but not required! My taglist and requests are open! :)

Taglist (sorry if you got the notif again!) @editsbyjenny @fashionlive15 @straightforwardly

#steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fic #steve rogers imagine #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x you #captain america #captain america x reader #captain america fanfic #captain america fic #captain america imagine #captain america x y/n #captain america x you #chris evans #endgame spoilers #steve rogers reader insert #captain america reader insert #steve rogers angst

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narashikari · 6 years ago

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Chara ask: the bunny a.k.a Sento

favorite thing about them

The fact that he’s so goddamned loyal to HIS people. Like, as soon as someone joins his team, they become his, he’s totally ride or die for them. Even to people who previously betrayed him like Sawa or Gentoku, or were antagonistic to him like Kazumi and Akaba.

least favorite thing about them

On the other hand, he’s so protective of them that he can be stubborn in the need to do things by himself so they won’t be endangered. He can’t even tell them things he thinks will emotionally burden them, to his own detriment.

favorite line

Gosh, there’s so many... but right now it’s gotta be the gem in Be the One:

-SCREAMING-

brOTP

THE BUILD TEAM, full stop. They’re just... a band of misfits who found each other and became a family who fought together thick and thin. The knight in shining armor, the compassionate boxer, the fighting farmer, the human goddess, the redeemed spy, and the flawed hero. Perfect.

OTP

I BEG YOUR PARDON, THE PROOF IS RIGHT BETWEEN YOU TWO SUCKERS.

That aside though, I’ve pretty much shipped them since day one, and I’ve wanted to throw them into a room in a love hotel so they can work out their UST productively for just as long.

nOTP

EVOLT. I’m okay with Souichi (after all we barely got to see what the guy was actually like without the Evolt possession and Sento is an adult who can tap whatever ass he wants), but a murderous space alien who manipulated his entire life just for kicks? Nope.

Also, kinda, in the way that I won’t ship it myself but won’t mind if others did, Gentoku and Misora. Gentoku because of the... undertones with his relationship with Takumi and it’d be plain creepy if that somehow transferred to Sento. Misora, because to me they’re more like siblings anyway.

random headcanon

Sento may seem cute, innocent and oblivious to everything romance and sex, but every once in a while he turns into a minx who frankly scares everyone with how successful he is at seducing one Banjou Ryuuga. Repeatedly. Shamelessly.

unpopular opinion

If his Ryuuga ended up merging with the New World Ryuuga, I think Sento would definitely be friends with him... albeit a distant one. For one thing, Sento wouldn’t want NW!Ryuuga to remember the old suckish timeline, and put him through that pain once more. And I think he’d hurt too much knowing that his Ryuuga and NW!Ryuuga were two different people who don’t have those shared experiences. Hence the distance.

song i associate with them

EVERLASTING SKY, for all that is good and sane with the world. Seriously, this song is as much his as Burning My Soul is for Ryuuga. It’s the declaration of his desire to build a better world for everyone, made into song.

Also, for some odd reason, Katy Perry’s Part of Me. I guess it speaks to the way Evolt tried so hard to bring Sento down, but failed and only giving him what he needs to grow, thrive and succeed. His friends, his heroism, and of course, Build.

favorite picture of them

All the ones with his beautiful face on it. Which is to say, every single one. Cheesy, but true.

#kamen rider build #kiryuu sento #lady-bellatrix #askmeme

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cowandcalf · 6 years ago

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An Ode To My Inner Fangirl - an effort to explain

It happens again...

I'm never prepared when she closes in with this immense power.

For days now I've been nervous, agitated and on edge. The soft flutter when she strolls by is gentle, as soft as a breeze against my skin. She's never far away and she waits until I'm ready. I've been kneeling by the water of my inner sea, waiting for her. This morning she has come to get me, piercing through the surface of my inner sea of feelings, her eyes on me. I can hardly wait with my yearning constantly poking my inner world. She reaches out to me and I take her hand. She pulls me under and I'm floating, drowning at first until I remember how to breathe in this world. I'm neither afraid of the darkness nor of the unknown. My heart trusts her. She'll lead me to the right places. She'll take care of me because she knows that I want to be consumed – want to be swallowed whole.

We reach a depth where I've never been so far. The beauty takes my breath away. I have no orientation but the entity by my side caress my skin, makes sure I'll find my way through the maze of my soul. She takes my hand when we enter this new realm. My body reacts physically when I breach the soft membrane that separates my normal self from my inner alter ego, my fangirl. We merge, melt into one – so blissful.

It has happened already before, one single time. I've never thought I would ever feel that passionate again, so desperate, that I would ever feel this richness of feelings once more. But then, here I am. I want to be inhaled like smoke, like fog in the air. I want to hand over the control to my fangirl because she's the only one who understands what I need.

My precious boys you won't let me sleep you won't let my mind rest.

Steve McGarrett and Danny Williams won't let me calm down. There are no moments anymore without them wandering through my mind. The boys and their love for each other rule my thoughts, for months now. Alex and Scott slip out from their characters into their real self and I just can't breathe…

I dive without resistance into my inner circle of my soul. The boys and all the thoughts about them become a part of my atomic structure. I can't stop thinking about them.

It should be scaring but it isn't.

It has happened in 2005 for the first time. She's slept for years, not moving, not jerking, just being there, floating around in my subconscious. Silent, so still. Brokeback Mountain – Jack Twist and Ennis de Mal, gay cowboys. I needed to see that movie. I did, and I've got emotionally electrocuted.

My fangirl burst to life, in deep shock, clinging to the walls of my soul, spying through my eyes with my heart pounding in my throat. She bucked like mad and it took me a whole week to strangle her into submission, to tie her down, to gag her and to make her shut up. I turned my back on her, unable to stand this power of feelings. I drew my walls up and I cut every connection to this movie and to my fangirl. I couldn't stand the rawness, this fucking energy that she’s kicked to live in my core. I couldn't.

Nine long years passes by.

She waits. She lurks. Tied up, gagged and so there – during all those years, strong and vivid and always it the back of my head. I've felt her, felt her moves, felt the motion of the waves in my soul when she lazily kicks my blood. Her time would come.

A task has brought it up that I dared to re-watch Brokeback Mountain. I was a trembling mess. I was alone for fourteen days and I had the nights to myself. I could only stand single scenes. I've watched them on repeat… for two weeks. I watched specific scenes hundreds of times and then again. And I cried. I cried a river, I cried buckets – and it hurt. I couldn't breathe and I watched …

...and I unleashed her.

She has waited for that specific moment. I cut her free, unable to go through all this pain without her by my side and she roared to life! Unstoppable, powerful and awful in her ravaging beauty. She was spreading into the tiniest corner of my soul, like tentacles, she licked further until she has covered my inside like a blanket, filling me up, swallowing my thoughts, infiltrating, worming her way into each cell – changing me, altering my soul.

My fangirl took over.

I've handed her the reins. She has swallowed me whole. I've bathed in my fangirl's thoughts, in her feelings. I let Brokeback Mountain consume me. Everything was filled with Jack Twist and Ennis del Mar, with Brokeback Mountain. I've vanished into a realm I've never visited before. And I've discovered fanfiction and I've read thousands of stories about Jack and Ennis. My chest ached for months. I lived through the worst lovesickness I've ever experienced. I woke up in the middle of the night, worrying about Ennis and about Jack – I was unable to think about anything else.

Until after fourteen long, painful months my fangirl calmed down to find her peace with what happened to Jack and Ennis. I could hold her in my arms, feel her in my heart and there was no need to tie her down anymore. She was free. She breathed me in and I was happy to let her. She's part of my soul now and I'm her shell where she finds shelter.

Until now – when it has been that time again, where she has arisen from the depth of my soul again to meet me for Steve and Danny, for Alex and Scott.

The journey has begun – I'm ready.

I never will fully understand her incredible beauty and her power.

Here I stand with tears in my eyes.

And this pressure in my chest.

I'm ready for this intense trip.

Ready to be taken once more.

Ready to feel how she breathes the air from my lungs.

Ready to let her be part of my heartbeat.

To let her look through my eyes.

To let her to lead me to where I need to be. She stills this longing, this inner fire.

Be my inner light –

Feed my emotions and with an everlasting burning only you can produce.

My beautiful, faceless fangirl.

I'll never fully understand the power you hide and why you awake at certain times, taking me on a journey I never knew I would need.

But I do, every time. I do.

Let's ride. The boys are waiting.

#cowandcalf writes #this jumped me during the day #my inner fangirl #it's like an alter ego #it's so freaking intense #mcdanno is like a heartbeat #i love them so much #alex and scott are my new passion #i can't explain anything #i tired to explain some things at least #i guess i saw too many venom posts #i love this metaphor

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yourgodmoments · 6 years ago

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Two Paths to Eternity - part 3

While we continue upon the blessed path, as eternity approaches, the fruits of our godly walk will open our eyes to the everlasting promise:

The one who lives righteously and speaks rightly, who refuses profit from extortion, whose hand never takes a bribe, who stops his hears from listening to murderous plots and shuts his eyes against evil schemes - he will dwell on the heights; his refuge will be the rocky fortresses, his food provided, his water assured. Your eyes will see the King in his beauty; you will see a vast land. Is.33:15 - 17. CSB

Yet even upon the cusp of our approach to the City of God, we must be wary; because the devil will never give up until we enter the heavenly gates - assaulting our free wills until that moment, hoping for a change of heart. The enemy wants us on his accursed path. He will threaten, make promises, and shower us with lies, saying that Christ will never return. Satan will hold our sins up in front of us to make us feel unworthy for salvation.

It is at these very moments that we must cling to the mercy and forgiveness of our Savior, and to the promise of His deliverance. The devil is no match for our God:

…the God of peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you. Rm. 16:20 NKJV

Do not rejoice over me [amid my tragedies], O my enemy! Though I fall, I will rise; thought I sit in the darkness [of distress], the LORD is a light for me. Mic. 7:8 AMP

So submit to [the authority of] God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him] and he will flee from you. Jas. 4:7 AMP

Still, the devil may return and threaten you with hell itself - claiming that it is your destiny (not!). Why not? Because God is covering your journey:

He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me… Ps. 23:3, 4. NASB

We must shake off our worldly attachments and keep our eyes on the prize:

But whatever former things were gains to me [as I thought then], these things [once regarded as advancements in merit] I have come to consider as loss [absolutely worthless] for the sake of Christ [and the purpose which He has given my life]. But more than that, I count everything as loss compared to the priceless privilege and supreme advantage of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord [and of growing more deeply and thoroughly acquainted with Him - a joy unequaled]. For His sake I have lost everything, and I consider it all garbage, so that I may gain Christ… Phil. 3:7, 8. AMP

“…For what is highly admired by people is revolting in God’s sight.” Lk. 16:15 CSB

When we walk our godly walk, we must stop at every opportunity to put our biblical knowledge to work; otherwise, it avails us not at the gates of heaven:

Knowledge [alone] makes [people self-righteously] arrogant, but love [that seeks the best for others] builds up and encourages others to grow [in wisdom]. 1 Cor. 8:1 AMP

Christian love is a doing:

“If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.” Jn. 14:15 NASB

For just as the body without the spirit is dead, so also faith without works is dead. Jas. 2:26 NASB

When you make those stops along the way, to serve God by serving others, your path to eternal grace is covered by the love of Jesus. Remember too, that there are many ways to serve, the chief one being to share the gospel, so that when we reach the end of our journey, we will have done our part in filling the kingdom of heaven with new brothers and sisters in Christ:

“Already the reaper is receiving his wages and he is gathering fruit for eternal life; so that he who plants and he who reaps may rejoice together.” Jn. 4:36 AMP

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Gal. 6:9 ESV

Run [your race] in such a way that you may seize the prize and make it yours…we [do it to receive] an imperishable [crown that cannot wither]…so that, after I have preached [the gospel] to others , I myself will not somehow be disqualified [as unfit for service]. 1 Cor. 9:24, 25 & 27. AMP

Above all and through all, if we keep the faith, we cannot be kept from reaching the end of our journey:

Above all, lift up the [protective] shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Eph. 6:16 AMP

The LORD is my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life - whom should I dread? Ps. 27:1 CSB

We are walking on the blessed path to eternity, forsaking the path to the eternal curse:

…our way is not that of those who shrink back to destruction, but [we are] of those who believe [relying on God through faith in Jesus Christ, the Messiah], and by this confident faith preserve the soul. Heb. 10:39 AMP

Finally, the grace of God, the love of Christ, the exhortation of the Holy Spirit and the angels, will merge with your faithfulness, godly behavior and perseverance; and you will stand victorious at the gates of the City of God. And God eagerly awaits every child:

…as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you. Is. 62:5 NKJV

Praise God, you have arrived!

…the city was pure gold, transparent like clear crystal. Rv. 21:18 AMP

…you have come to Mount Zion and to the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and to myriads of angels [in festive gathering], and to the general assembly and the assembly of the firstborn who are registered [as citizens] in heaven, and to God, who is the Judge of all, and to the spirits of the righteous (the redeemed in heaven) who have been made perfect (bringing them to their final glory), and to Jesus, the Mediator of a new covenant [uniting God and man}… Heb. 12:22 – 24. AMP

‘Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.’ Rv. 19;9 NASB

Goodnight and God bless.

#arriving in heaven #eternal prize #faith powered eternity #faith with works #God covers you #resisting the devil #Satan wants you #two paths to eternity

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giftofshewbread · 4 years ago

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The Power of God

By Daymond Duck Published on:March 14, 2021

Before I get started, I have read several articles lately that said Microsoft Outlook’s e-mail system had been hacked.

I have also received calls and e-mails from people saying they received an e-mail from me that they could not open.

I answer lots of e-mails every day, but I did not send the e-mails in question, and I do not know how to stop that from happening. (I advise everyone not to open an e-mail from me unless you are reasonably sure that I sent it.)

Moving on, in one of the most famous passages of Scripture, Paul said, “the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive shall be caught up [Raptured] together with them in the clouds” (I Thess. 4:16-17).

Here are some Scriptures about the resurrection of the dead:

Jesus was raised from the dead according to the Scriptures. Paul said, “For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures” (I Cor. 15:3-4).

Job believed God would raise him with a new body. He said, “And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God: Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold, and not another; though my reins be consumed within me” (Job 19:26-27).

Abraham believed God would raise Isaac from the dead. He took Isaac to Mount Moriah to kill him as a sacrifice, and when he got close, he told those that were with him, “I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again to you” (Gen. 22:5). The writer of Hebrews said Abraham was willing to sacrifice Isaac because he believed “that God was able to raise him (Isaac) up, even from the dead” (Heb. 11:17-19).

Joseph probably believed God would raise him from the dead because he wanted his bones to be buried in Israel, so “Moses took the bones of Joseph with him: for he [Joseph] had straitly sworn the children of Israel, saying, God will surely visit you; and ye shall carry up my bones away hence with you” (Ex. 13:19).

David believed in the resurrection of the dead. He said, “my flesh also shall rest in hope. For thou wilt not leave my soul in hell; neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption” (Psa. 16:9-10). Peter said, “He [David] seeing this before spake of the resurrection of Christ, that his soul was not left in hell, neither his flesh did see corruption. This Jesus hath God raised up, whereof we all are witnesses” (Acts 2:31-32).

Isaiah believed God will raise the dead. Concerning Israel, he said, “Thy dead men shall live, together with my dead body shall they arise” (Isa. 26:19).

Hosea believed God will bring people out of the grave. He quoted God as saying, “I will ransom them from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death: O death, I will be thy plagues; O grave, I will be thy destruction: repentance shall be hid from mine eyes” (Hos. 13:14; see also I Cor. 15:55-57).

Daniel believed in the resurrection of the body. He said, “And many of them that sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt” (Dan. 12:2).

Jesus taught that the dead will be raised. He said, “Marvel not at this: for the hour is coming, in the which all that are in the graves shall hear his voice, And shall come forth; they that have done good, unto the resurrection of life; and they that have done evil, unto the resurrection of damnation” (Jn. 5:28-29).

Matthew said many people were raised from the dead when Jesus was raised. “And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many” (Matt. 27:52-53).

Paul said he and many others saw the resurrected Jesus. “He [Jesus] was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve: After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep. After that, he was seen of James; then of all the apostles. And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time (I Cor. 15:5-8).

Those that do not believe in the resurrection and Rapture err because they do not know the Scriptures or the power of God (Matt. 22:29).

One, on May 29, 2020, Pres. Trump withdrew the U.S. from the World Health Organization (WHO) and stopped U.S. funding.

Leaked secret WHO documents show that the WHO believed China was covering up its involvement in the spread of Covid.

Trump accused the WHO of cooperating with the coverup.

Trump said the WHO was receiving about $450 million dollars a year from the U.S., about $40 million dollars a year from China, and the WHO was acting as a spokesperson for the Chinese government.

On Mar. 3, 2021, it was reported that the Biden administration has just sent $200 million to the WHO despite the fact that neither the WHO nor China has done anything to punish those that helped spread Covid.

Biden is reversing Trump’s withdrawal from the coming world government.

Two, concerning the coming global economic collapse: Biden killed more than 11,000 jobs when he stopped construction on the Keystone Pipeline; the U.S. Chamber of Commerce believes he will kill about 6.5 million more jobs with his reentry into the Paris Climate Change Accords; the new Congressional Covid Relief bill will pay cities and states to keep the lockdowns going (more lost jobs); his open border with Mexico is allowing thousands of unemployed people to enter the U.S. (free healthcare, free vaccinations, free food, free travel, stimulus checks, etc.); the cost of food and gasoline for legal citizens is rising; and America’s debt is approaching the $28 trillion mark.

Some financial analysts say the markets are showing signs of alarm over inflation, but Biden’s Treasury Sec. says she knows how to handle it.

World government, famine and economic collapse are coming (but the Rapture comes first).

Three, concerning the latter years and latter days Battle of Gog and Magog, in the last 2 weeks:

A Libyan oil tanker named the Emerald dumped an estimated 150 or more tons of tar and contaminated waste into the Mediterranean Sea off the coast of Israel that polluted more than 90 miles of Israeli shoreline. A two-week investigation concluded that the Libyan tanker originated in Iran, was destined for Syria, and the pollutants were deliberately dumped near Israel.

There was an explosion on both sides of an Israeli-owned cargo ship coming out of Saudi Arabia in the Gulf of Oman. The ship and cargo were damaged, but the ship did not sink. Israel blamed the explosions on Iran.

An Iranian-backed militia in Iraq fired at least 10 rockets at a U.S. base in Iraq that killed a U.S. citizen.

Iranian-backed Houthis fired rockets at Saudi Arabia almost every day.

Iran threatened to destroy Tel Aviv and Haifa in Israel if Israel attacks Iran’s nuclear facilities.

Iran appears to be getting more aggressive since Biden took office.

Four, concerning a departing from the faith and apostasy: in Feb. 2019, Pope Francis announced plans to build the “Abrahamic Family House” in Abu Dhabi.

The “Abrahamic Family House” will have a Church, a Synagogue, and a Mosque (separate places of worship for Christians, Jews and Muslims), and it will have a fourth place for people of all religions to come together as one body.

Readers should know that many prophecy teachers (including this writer) believe the Bible teaches that a godless world religion will be located at the site of the ancient city of Babylon at the end of the age (Zech. 5:1-11; Rev. 17-18)).

On Mar. 6, 2021, Pope Frances was in Iraq (the only Pope to ever visit the land of Babylon, the cradle of civilization.).

The purpose of his trip is to promote peace, coexistence, and brotherhood among all religions.

He spoke to Christians, Muslims, and Jews at the ancient city of Ur (original home of Abraham before God called him to move to Israel).

Francis prayed for peace, but there was no mention of Jesus, the Prince of Peace.

Worship without Jesus is worthless, and prayer in the name of other gods sounds like what is going on in the U.S. House of Representatives.

We have reached the point where the U.S. government is ignoring Jesus, the Pope is ignoring Jesus, and according to the Bible, the Antichrist and False Prophet will ignore Jesus.

Anyway, Francis appears to be trying to unite the world’s religions around Abraham (not Jesus).

Some call this new religion Chrislam because it is an effort to merge the faiths of Christianity, Israel, and Islam.

Those that support this new religion will have to abandon or change many of their beliefs (but Jesus is the only way to be saved).

This could be the rise of MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH (Rev. 17:5).

During the Tribulation Period, the Antichrist and False Prophet will persecute and kill those that do not go along with Babylon’s harlot religion.

God will respond by calling 144,000 Jewish evangelists, Two Witnesses, and an angel to preach the gospel to everyone on earth.

Realize as you are reading this that the Bible teaches that the global false religion will locate at Babylon when Israel is back in the land, Jerusalem has been rebuilt, the world government will have the ability to track all buying and selling, there will be global pandemics, etc. These conditions are appearing today.

Know too that the Bible story of Abraham is about calling out one man to start a religion to bring forth the Messiah (Jesus), and it has absolutely nothing to do with uniting the religions or creating a one-world religion that replaces faith in Jesus with faith in false gods.

Here is one more thing that caught my attention: While in Iraq, Pope Francis met with Iraq’s Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani (in a secure location about 35 miles from where the ancient city of Babylon was located).

An Iraqi analyst said, “Both the pope and Ayatollah are renouncing violence and killing, and both would like mankind to live in peace, security (peace and safety) and faith.”

The Tribulation Period will begin when world leaders declare peace and safety.

Finally, if you want to go to heaven, you must be born again (John 3:3). God loves you, and if you have not done so, sincerely admit that you are a sinner; believe that Jesus is the virgin-born, sinless Son of God who died for the sins of the world, was buried, and raised from the dead; ask Him to forgive your sins, cleanse you, come into your heart and be your Saviour; then tell someone that you have done this.

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atrayo · 4 years ago

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Jewels of Truth Statements and Favorite Quotes of the Month of October x2

Hello All,

Since the festive occasion of celebrating the spirits of yesteryears and the merrymaking of All Hallow's Eve is merely one week away. I also wanted to observe at least the religious Christian or at least Catholic holidays of all Saints Day November 1st and All Souls Day November 2nd. Although I started off as Roman-Catholic making it as far as my 1st Communion. Now I belong in my conviction to all the benevolent faiths, philosophies, and traditions of God(dess). I suppose allowing the angels of grace to groom me for over 34 years now their outlook from a macro-perspective has rubbed off on me.

Today I wish to share another trio of "Jewels of Truth" statements as Inspirational automatic writing of angelic wisdom. For those with very little to nothing in understanding about automatic writing or psychography. It is an intuitive psychic ability in terms of taking diction and feeling for the words telepathically. In the 25 plus years of doing this clairaudient spiritual Intuitive art form, I have never ever have had writer's block period! The content speaks for itself using my vocabulary however not my writing style, nonetheless, it is like a merging of the best of my humanity and their divinity. To bring these messages across the threshold of time/space reality aka our world.

The angelic wisdom topics for today are on Truth, Divine Faith, and the Sounds of Creation. This last topic I channeled from the Archangel of Sandalphon as an ascended master. I usually channel from nameless angels of the Heavenly Host, however, I get a celebrity angelic entity every now and again. ;o)

As always may you find peace and comfort when reflecting on the premise being presented regardless if you can fully digest them. It is more about exposure and expanding your spiritual horizons for the novice to adept of other traditions to ruminate upon. Amen.

Truth:

2961) The world at least most of it seeks a truth that will comfort them from the woes of life. Many succumb to settle for biased truths that are presented in essence. This only serves for a moment as a half-truth that given time becomes a warped sense of reality. That leads those who follow it to a whole lie unfortunately only realizing this at the bitter end of their struggles, if at all?

The world can only do better when it lives with a compassionate sense of fairness as a level playing field of equitable grace for all stakeholders. Short of such a humane ethical rule there will be winners and losers living flawed lives collectively. What was once a standard becomes warped by cheats looking for flawed efficiencies that lead to eventual ruin.

Only when the truth is unconditionally presented in a moderated fair fashion can it overcome vile tendencies of injustice. Besides that of other foibles of the human condition upon this half-prepared civilization therein. No other force universally but that of God. Has so much pregnant potency to cause metaphoric mountains to crash them into the seas of hope and despair worldwide.

We the Angelic Host are the arbitrators of Creation meting out truths of all sorts and of all Infinite kinds of the Glory of God everlasting. Always by means of the Mysterious Will of God(dess) that bends not only towards justice as an arch of a living endless grace. But, towards a sacred Absolute Love as the substance of God made manifest in each of us forever.

Truth is only illuminated God as itself come alive as a healing balm and a weapon of discord. It is up to the created Children of God to wield it responsibly or not. Judgment is always final by and for God Almighty collectively in an all Inclusive macroscopic and microscopic manner. However, there is always Absolute Forgiveness as an eternal Love made manifest to reconcile evil with righteousness. Purely through an aperture of an apex original supreme enlightenment of God as him/her/itself in absolute truth. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.

Divine Faith:

2981) To be earnest reveals an initiative whose time has come forward. Only with such an impulse to succeed in whatever scope is your genuine attempt at first glance. Can it be revealed that the inner beauty of what is nearly inescapable of being fully articulated?

Here we stand at the crossroads of the divine and the mundane realities that dare to defy comprehension much less communication. By figuring out our choices with the grandest of sweeping changes of what the world tells us is correct when at times that too is wholly a fallacy. How does one endear the right outcomes when the options at hand are either incomplete, flawed, or plain nearly impossible to reach adequately in one lifetime alone?

The divine is often seen as a short-cut to triumph over the world. However, these ineffable truths are actually farther away than what they seem in temporal appearances. What appears as a simple effort soon bogs down an individual of faith with unforeseen conundrums. Thinking it is only a stroll down the street back to God is part of an illusion of our very own wishful making in naive terms of spiritual being. One unfortunately soon realizes it isn't just a short jaunt of faith, but a saga of a Heroes Journey as a trek of a lifetime.

Regardless of being a man, woman, or child in the world, the crucible is narrow at first until the proverbial wheat is separated from the chaff. A mirage-like no other of actual endless distance that most do not gauge appropriately until one finds solace at a soulful Inn as a pitstop along the route of the holies.

Nonetheless, such perseverance soon showcases the merit of a spirit upon the world the valor not just of the self, but the divine one within. That those with a sense of duty can reveal wonders few dare to imagine. After mere decades of service in whatever capacity is their corresponding love of God in this world. It is not a journey of a thousand steps or miles, but actually a journey of a thousand lifetimes upon this our shared eternity.

Success is achievable however not on your schedule but on the divine ones within the rays of the blessed out of physical reach but within emotional release by tenderness. This holy union may feel tepid at first as an acolyte to say the least as unproven soil. Only when the seeds are hardy can the meeting between divine sunlight and earth with nurturing grace as the living waters reveal back your courage to yourself. Eventually, a blushing first bud emerges as a sprout of new life and this is the first shoots of the heavens urging you to grow and grow some more.

The Divine Holy Ones realize our flawed childish nature now and always so this is why they always make the 1st gesture of grace on our behalf. Whether we realize it at first glance or not. They keep tapping upon our consciousness with an unceasing dedication to awaken us from the slumber of the world. Be it a pleasant dream at the time or an ongoing horrible nightmare of our broken human lives. Offering us a potential happily ever after of a fairy tale not at the very beginning but halfway in the middle of our lives and certainly upon the afterlife. No one is ever too old and too late for a miracle of God to sweep them off their feet. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo.

Sounds of Creation:

2982) To our Ears of all Life itself listen as the echoes of the divine permeates every tonal fiber of the living and the dying upon this reality alone. What is inaudible to the conscious mind of humanity is actually heard by other subliminal parts of the physical forms of your bodies collectively. Much like a sponge of tissues, sinew, and a latticework of veins and some arteries.

The sounds of the cosmos pre-date all life on Earth at least physically. However, the gas stellar winds that now make-up your solar system. Had inputs from its surrounding stars humming at sonic intervals of profound frequencies akin to a fanciful language all of its own kind. Stars communicate by light, sound, and various other disturbances as forms of deep spatial gravitational distortions. Akin to what can be construed as gas clouds or nebulas of various orders of scales dimensionally speaking. From the seen to the unseen spectrums of not ultra-violet light but through sub-atomic darkness of what is there but not shown.

What is gibberish to one listener is an orchestra of immense natural beauty to another set of ears. It is all subjective for what one listens or actually hears when the intentional focus of the mind is truly involved. Now to be certain there are omissions of reason when the sounds of Mother Nature as Creation itself sound absurd to the human ear canals.

Nonetheless, the beauty of sweeping harmonies can soothe the angry from a beast of burden, including that of humanity. Music not only heals the psyche it can expand the capacity for the mind to grow by many subtle dimensional corresponding factors of forethought. When the listener is exposed to audible and certainly specific inaudible tonal modalities one can begin to defy the known norms of logic. Well into robust forms of healing, learning, and creative Intuitions known simply as gut instincts that always pan out as real.

Here too the expanse of the Divine Spirit of God(dess) in each of us defies reasons for existing at all. Nonetheless, here we are together in what seems like silence and separations is actually a cacophony of clashing inaudible tones colliding by means of Creation fully alive as ourselves. Amen. ---Ivan Pozo-Illas / Atrayo. (Channeled by the Archangel Sandalphon)

In creating a place of honor for every issue, and every experience we create a different form of power that is rooted in the whole truth of who we are. ---AI-Jen Poo.

Our fates are tied. We have this strange notion on this planet that our fates are not tied. If it were not so we would not be here together. It's that simple. ---Luisah Teish.

Gratefulness opens me up to receive the flow of blessing and connects me with the source of that flow. ---Rabbi Shefa Gold.

Ivan "Atrayo" Pozo-Illas, has devoted 25 years of his life to the pursuit of clairvoyant Inspired automatic writing channeling the Angelic host. Ivan is the author of the spiritual wisdom series of "Jewels of Truth" consisting of 3 volumes published to date. He also channels conceptual designs that are multi-faceted for the next society to come that are solutions based as a form of dharmic service. Numerous examples of his work are available at "Atrayo's Oracle" blog site of 15 years plus online. Your welcome to visit his website "Jewelsoftruth.us" for further information or to contact Atrayo directly.

#Jewels of Truth #Atrayo's Oracle #Ivan Pozo-Illas #angels #automaticwriting #truth #divinefaith #soundsofcreation #channeler #spiritualwisdom #spirituality #spiritguide #spiritualteacher #psychic #clairaudient #claircognizant #archangel #archangelsandalphon

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honestlyfrance · 5 years ago

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Title: Lest We Wonder

Square Filled: Crush

Warnings: None

Words: 820

Summary:

Imagine lying next to your love, basked in the moonlight as he traces his gentle fingers on your skin as you read a poem he made for you. Sam lazily reads the text, humming in content as Bucky presses hesitant kisses on the man's shoulder. The poem just spoke too much words Bucky couldn't say at first, and Sam adores it, overwhelmed at the emotion it gave him.

a/n: um, happy valentine’s day!! here’s a soft poem from me to you (or bucky to sam for valentine’s as well). want to see more of my ship poems? y’all can make a request right here. alright, enjoy! tell me what you think, too! also, forgive the formatting,, tumblr can’t do right :/

Set a hand over my heart.

What do you feel?

Do you hear the drumming,

The gentle caress of waves

Upon fantastical shorelines,

The terror in my chest that

Aches at every breath you take?

Do you hear people singing in liberty,

People screaming for justice,

People uplifting other people,

All in your sacred name?

All for the bed you made?

Do you hear the sky booming

In an expanse of colors,

The gunfire and cannons that

Frenzy in this narrow cage,

All in a war for your presence?

Do you sense the gratitude in my chest,

One that spirals in everlasting madness,

All in your name,

All in your presence,

All in your love?

Set a hand on my lips.

What do you feel?

Do you hear the fireworks going off

At the slightest gentle touch of them,

The sound of rain when your touch

Leaves a cold print on them,

Or Cupid’s Hymn of Love itself?

Do you see how my lips turn red

At the slightest touch on them,

How my eyes sparked in awe,

How my cheeks flared in scarlet,

How my lips read my soul?

Do you think of these lips and feel

The contentedness of knowing that

It’s all yours,

For all of me and my body and soul

Are yours no matter who adores it?

Samuel Wilson.

Set a hand on my love.

Do you feel it?

Do you feel the life revibrating at the walls,

Aching to be released upon a cruel earth,

Knowing that it would surpass anything,

Even the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Could do nothing but stare at wonder?

“Who is this man who aches at the arms

Of his beloved?” They will ask. “Who is this

Man who shies away from the affection he

Craves so much, he starves himself off of it?”

I, James Buchanan Barnes,

Love you,

Samuel Thomas Wilson,

To the point of starvation

And gluttony, above all

God would shun us from heaven and back,

Lest we let ourselves wonder and be free to love,

He would let us in with open arms, saying:

“Dear children, let us not love with words or

Speech but with actions and in truth.”

And we did, My Love.

We mixed ourselves

In wine and Labor

And have become

The best of the worst

I try to be religious, and I am, so I say to you:

“Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth-

For your love is more delightful than wine.”

And it is. It’s drunkenness I feel with you

Yet there isn’t a drop of wine on my lips

It’s you, Sam, that merges religions

Of all types into three words, and it is

Goodness

Justice

And Service

For when I forget your face every night

I see an angel instead of you;

Sitting on his steeple, high above us,

With wings made of gold and iron

It cracks the sky in half when you fly

It’s you, Sam, that surpasses Icarus,

For his actions were recalled as

Recklessness, yet, you?

It’s an act of service, a dying wish

From the oceans that tried to drown you

It’s you, Sam, that sends a man like me

Into a state of utter bliss in one smile,

In one tender touch of a finger,

In one tender show of a smile,

In one tender action of love.

It’s you, Sam Wilson, that makes me breathless

To the point where I’m asking myself:

“Which is more merciful: The kindness of

Death, or the tongue of my love?” Yet

It’s neither, as they were both the same idea

It’s the fear that kills me and revives me

Which urges me to live, love, and laugh

Just for you, just for my love, just for my

Man, my man of vibrant colors of love

And service and life. So full of life.

It’s you, Sam Wilson,

It was always you

That deserves my love

And your love to me

Was it not?

I love, I love, I love,

And it pains me so

It pains me that it is reciprocated.

Just as much as I give to you,

You give it as much as I did, and

It never falters, not once, not ever

It’s you that makes me realize

That I, Bucky Barnes, need

Love, as much as you do

It’s you, Sam Wilson, that makes me

Want to go down on one knee and ask:

“Will you say I do, forever and more?”

And you’d say “I do” despite my fears

Because you don’t say “I don’t” to love

You commit yourself to Love,

You commit yourself to service,

You commit yourself to your Love,

And it’s the most beautiful thing

How you just feel,

And be assured,

“This man does.”

This man loves me,

As much as “I do.”

Set a hand on my hand,

Samuel Wilson,

And feel.

Do you feel it too?

#sbbingo1 #sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #winterfalcon #falcon and the winter soldier #falcon #winter soldier #captain america #poems for sam wilson #bucky barnes poets #do not copy!!!#please!!!#but feel free to reblog and leave some nice comments :D!!!#france: works #france: writing

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ts-2020-olympics · 5 years ago

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RITES OF PASSAGE - PRE JURY

Some music to get in the mood, and let’s see the pre-jury rites of passage

youtube

honestly i just wanted to boost my days played and placement average but both of those are now shit

EVE

Connor, Unfortunately you were the first to go, We met briefly in the arena and you seemed like a great personality! Shame that you had to go so early because you were for sure one of the people I really wanted to get to know more through the game!!

KEVIN

the first returnee fallen and so soon :c i was really looking forward to getting to know you because some mutual friends had some good words to say about you but sadly we never got the chance!

SARAH

We didn't get a chance to talk much, but I'd hope we run into each other in a game in the future!

TOMMY

OMG I can't believe you went first after promising me you wouldn't go first. Dhjejdndjdhhdhdhdbdh You were someone I was hoping to play with after you hosted for me in HvV. It would have been great to actually play this season with you, hope you're doing good bud ❤️❤️❤️

EVE

Kathy, We never spoke but from what ive heard from others outside this game they where super upset when you got booted so early because you’re an icon!! Hopefully we can play together in another game some day!!

KEVIN

we never spoke but i loved your intro video, wish you lasted longer so we could’ve talked!

SARAH

You were on a badass tribe, I think we also missed each other in the hustle and bustle of the early rounds, but I'd definitely reach out if I see you around some future Tumblr games.

TOMMY

We never spoke but you had an interesting intro video!

EVE

Bailey, We never spoke and from as much as I can see you where inactive so :/

KEVIN

I didn’t get to speak to you either sadly :c

SARAH

Love, you left too soon. I wish you were by my side longer, I know you would've gotten far in the game, you are a competitive QUEEN in nature. Sister from another tribe, we shall meet again!

TOMMY

We never spoke either, but hope you had fun this season!

EVE

Will! The First OG Yujo to go!! You going so early was so heartbreaking because I felt like all 5 of the original Yujo tribe was very close, you just kinda went inactive :/

KEVIN

We never spoke either unfortunately :/

SARAH

Will we were on the OG Yujo tribe, I had so much fun doing that early challenge with you, making our chant and just shooting the shit while we prepped for the game. I hope you're doing ok, and I hope you come back for another game, because we made a good team.

TOMMY

We never spoke either, but also hope you had fun this season too!

I’m gonna sayyyy, “YES EVE!! Kill it baby!!!!”

EVE

Nik! Probably one of my faves from OG Yujo, I feel like you were the most robbed after watching your tribal back and wish you would’ve came back from the arena so we could’ve had more talks!! Wish you where here for the music video, They just couldn't handle the power of us together for it could they?

KEVIN

We had some interactions in the tribe chat which were fun, but your opinions could use a little work :P sucks you didn’t get to stay longer so I could change them hehe

SARAH

Also from my OG Yujo tribe. You were a pleasure to talk to, and I think you played the game well. Like many in our tribe you left too early, but you worked really well with everyone on the team. You were a genuine person and you were here to both fight and have fun.

TOMMY

It was so sad seeing someone that wanted to be here leave early! Personally I was shocked because I thought you would have done well due to how active you were in the one world chat. It seemed like you may have done well under different circumstances!

In terms of gameplay, I'm not the happiest. In terms of the drama and entertainment I caused, I couldn't be a prouder man. I came into this game guns blazing, not caring what people thought of me. If people were to gain one thing from me, it's that you go out on your own terms and create a legacy where you can come back. I will be returning, and it won't be pretty. I promise ya that.

EVE

Billy, We never really spoke to my knowledge, you where to me someone who I did want out fairly early tho, because you seemed to be someone who had a lot of say over what people did from an outside perspective. When you went I was a little shocked if im being honest.

KEVIN

oh billy, we never spoke one on one but I heard lots about you! you definitely made a mark on this season in the short time you were here.

SARAH

Billy, you played a damn good game. You played the challenges and went to tribals, and even when the pot was stirred up, you kept it fun. This was a good season and I'm sure I'll see you around some more games. Thank you for the spicy tribal sessions.

TOMMY

Despite leaving in the earlier rounds you were super memorable because of your big personality. Truly made things fun from watching yalls tribals, one of the bigger characters of the season!

EVE

Jacob! As far as i'm concerned we never spoke, but you did do 2 arenas and lasted 6 hours in a pressure cooker! So id like to say congrats to you for that! You did amazing for your time here and you should be proud of that!!

KEVIN

We, too, never got to speak but you fought hard in the arena to come back and its a shame you came up just short but i respect you and your determination!

SARAH

Sand, I'm glad I met you because you were super friendly and just generally nice to talk to outside of game shenanigans. Also I love that your name is sand.

TOMMY

You were a competitor I think you kinda got screwed by being voted out in the triple because I remember how well you did when we were in the arena together and seeing you vs. Nicole and Juls was wild. Good luck in future ORGs!

EVE

My heart, my soul, my everlasting woman…. Juls…. Seeing you go was so heart breaking I really was rooting for you in that pressure cooker, and wonder what the outcome of the game would’ve been like had you beaten Nicole and Jacob. It just seems like you’re always the Bridesmaid, never the bride :( But one day you will be the bride.

KEVIN

JULSSSS MY LOVE…. MY LOVE… MY HEART!!! You were so incredibly robbed and im so sorry i couldn’t do anything about it, you’re a beautiful person inside and out and i love you so much and we WILL get to actually PLAY a game together i promise you that!!! Imma just need some time after this one you know <3

SARAH

You know everyone thinks you left too soon. The main village chat is NOTHING without you, you were absolutely one of the most social queens on the village chat. I know I'll see you around again, thank you for bringing life into the daily group chats.

TOMMY

You are one of the sweetest if not the sweetest person I've ever met in an ORG, and super friendly and kind. You're in need of a second chance because I guarantee had you made the merge you would have done extremely well in this game, possibly even have won. I really hope I get the chance to watch you play another season!

EVE

Hi Ben! I dont believe we ever really spoke for the 23 days you where except week 7 when we where in the arena together and you bowed out, which i still think was a bad move because I never like to see anyone just give up. Hope you’re doing well tho hun!

KEVIN

ah Ben, another person i had no interactions with but you had a tough road to drive in this game from an outsiders perspective, you bowed out of the arena and for whatever reasons i hope you’re doing good!

SARAH

Ben we didn't honestly talk too much, so I never got a chance to really know you, but I'm thinking I'll see you around some future games here and there.

TOMMY

We had so many conversations this season even when I was on my OG tribe and I really think your a nice dude. It would be nice to talk with you once the season is over! :)

EVE

Beck…. Babe…. Listen….. I'm so sorry that I had to go against you and kinda throw your name out there, but it came from a place of I know how amazing of a player you where and If you would’ve made it to merge, you probably would’ve ran the game. I think overall for the time you where in the game, you did play a great one

KEVIN

BECK <3 you ugh you’re great an amazing individual…. But i know the dynamic was weird with juls and things got blurry, i wish you both could’ve survived unfortunately the game took a hard left and things went flying all over the place, i would’ve loved to play with you more investedly (if thats a word) but we didnt get the chance, next time <3

SARAH

Beck, I know you got turned on way too early, because you were so nice and you were a damn good team player. You made sure to do your absolute best in challenges and you were ALWAYS there for the team, which maybe went a little too unappreciated in the end.

TOMMY

AN ACTUAL KING! ❤️❤️❤️❤️😻😍😻😍😻😍😻😍😻😍 I MISS YOU SO SOOOO SOOOOOOOO MUCH. I can't believe you left me here after you promised me you would make the merge. I really loved getting to meet and know you as a person and out of everyone who went pre-jury you getting voted out hit the hardest, one of my closest allies and we became really good friends through out the game, hope we can stay in touch and you can show me some more dance moves!

Here's a song to tribute you king ❤️ https://youtu.be/0G3_kG5FFfQ

EVE

Hi Landen! So basically when you went was kind of where I started making all these plans to better myself in the game, finding out that you were making alliances and then telling me about them and then making them and purposefully not adding me into them, hearing from others how much you “Don’t trust me” and I guess in a sense you where right in not trusting me, because along with a few others I made sure everyone was going to vote you in the end of that week. I think you’re a great player though, congrats on being the last Pre Jour!

KEVIN

landen!! We hit it off fairly well, despite the whole me supposed to go home you get out of tribal kinda thing otherwise we bounced off each other well, unfortunately the 3-way tribal round things got hectic and took a turn for the worst, and i guess it was downhill after that, but you play hard and i respect the heck out of that, you DEFINITELY made me nervous in this game (in a good way) :D

SARAH

Landen, I think you are a cool person, although I think you went a little too hard on the dishonesty in the game. I hope you weren't too put off when people turned on you, because you were a very strong challenge competitor and you remained social and talkative with everyone. You were a true disaster prince, and you knew the game well!

TOMMY

You played super hard which I respect. You were bold and I think that made you a huge threat in this game and it would have been interesting to see how we interacted had we ever been on the same tribe and get to know each other. Good luck in your other ORGs!

#zestypowerfuluniqueflavorfulhealthy #notice

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the-sayuri-rin · 8 years ago

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Zarc and Pals: The Memetastic duo Vs EVERLASTING DARKNESS aka sometime with all the weird crap that happens in this seires I wonder... am I trippin’ hells bells...or is hells bells trippin’me....

Credit to :DMC3444

Last Time’s Egao Count: 252

Captain Falcon: The dimensions’ fusion has begun.

The Synchro, Xyz, Standard, and Fusion Dimensions are merging into one.

Amidst that crisis, Kaito and I ran into the Demon Duelist Zarc, the fusion of Yuya and his lookalikes.

Duel Disk: Field Magic: Cross Over.

Duel Disk: Intrusion Penalty, 2000 points.

Edo: AAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Sora: AAAAAHHHHHH!

Sora: The rest is up to you Xyz users…

You must bring Yuya…back.

Zarc: Are you two next?

Captain Falcon: Let’s do this.

That form doesn’t suit you!

Come back!

It’s my turn!

Narrator: The world is divided into four dimensions.

Across these dimensions, there are four boys, who all share the same face,

And the dragons they possess call out to one another,

As if seeking out each other…

(Opening Sequence)

Kaito: A human and a monster fused together?

This is ridiculous…

Captain Falcon: Sora and Edo fought, believing that a shred of Yuya’s soul is still inside of him.

Kaito: We shall inherit their feelings and carry on their wishes!

Captain Falcon: We’ll definitely bring them back!

Both Yuya, and Yuto!

From my hand, I summon Raidraptor - King’s Lanius!

Captain Falcon: I activate the Monster Effect of King’s Lanius!

Once per turn, I can Special Summon a Level-4 or below Raidraptor from my hand!

I choose Raidraptor – Vanishing Lanius!

Captain Falcon: And then, when Vanishing Lanius is on the Field,

I can Special Summon Raidraptor – Fuzzy Lanius from my hand!

Captain Falcon: I overlay the Level-4 King’s Lanius, Vanishing Lanius, and Fuzzy Lanius together!

Obscured falcon!

Raise your talons sharpened by adversity!

Spread your wings of rebellion!

Xyz Summon!

Come forth!

Rank-4! Raidraptor - Rise Falcon!

Zarc: Hmm… My opponents this round are Xyz users, huh?

Interesting.

Now, I shall overlay the two Level-4 Darkwurms on my Field!

Captain Falcon: What!? On my turn!?

Kaito: An Xyz Summon!?

Zarc: I can Xyz Summon this monster when an Xyz Monster is summoned to my opponent’s Field while I am on the Field.

Fangs of rebellion residing in the pitch-black darkness!

Submit to me, and carry out my will!

Xyz Summon!

Rank-4! Supreme King Servant Dragon – Dark Rebellion!

Kaito: Dark Rebellion?

Captain Falcon: There’s no doubt about it.

Yuto is somewhere deep inside him!

Captain Falcon: Rise Falcon’s effect activates!

By detaching an Overlay Unit, it can add the ATKs of all Special Summoned monsters on my enemy’s Field to its own ATK!

Kaito: 6600 ATK!

It’s higher than Supreme Dragon King Zarc’s!

Captain Falcon: Do you remember, Yuto?

When I was acting recklessly in the Standard Dimension,

You reined me in with one punch.

Captain Falcon: That’s why, Yuto…

This time, I will bring you back with this one strike, and make you remember yourself!

Battle!

I attack Supreme Dragon King Zarc with Raidraptor – Rise Falcon!

Brave Claw Revolution!

Snap out of it!

Yuya! Yuto!

Zarc: Supreme King Servant Dragon – Dark Rebellion’s effect activates!

If Dark Rebellion is on my Field, you cannot attack other Xyz Monsters!

Edo: As Supreme Dragon King Zarc is the amalgamation of four summoning methods,

It is also an Xyz Monster!

Sora: That’s why it cannot be targeted for an attack.

GONGENZAKA: Edo! Sora!

Sora: Gon-chan! Sawatari!

GONGENZAKA: Are you all right?

Edo: Sorry…

SAWATARI-SAN: What on earth happened!? Explain what’s going on to us!

Captain Falcon: Then, I attack Supreme King Servant Dragon – Dark Rebellion!

Zarc: Supreme King Servant Dragon – Dark Rebellion’s effect activates!

By detaching an Overlay Unit, until the End Phase of this turn,

The ATK of my opponent’s battling monster becomes zero,

And the lost amount is added to its ATK!

Kaito: Its ATK is now way higher!

Captain Falcon: Quick-Play Magic, Overlay Burst Armor, activate!

By detaching all of Rise Falcon’s Overlay Units,

Rise Falcon’s combat destruction will be negated, and the battle damage will become zero!

Captain Falcon: I guess it won’t be easy to approach him…But I have another plan.

I set two cards face-down, and end my turn!

Zarc: Supreme King Servant Dragon – Dark Rebellion’s effect will now end.

Their ATKs will return to normal.

Captain Falcon: Rise Falcon’s effect ends,

And its ATK returns to normal.

Kaito: It’s my turn!

Draw!

From my hand, I summon Cipher Wing!

When there is a Cipher Wing on my Field,

I can Special Summon another Cipher Wing from my hand!

Then, from my hand, I activate the Continuous Magic, Double Exposure!

The Levels of the two Cipher Wings are doubled!

Kaito: I overlay the two Level-8 Cipher Wings together!

Galaxy shining in the darkness!

Become a fierce god of vengeance, and fight as my servant!

Xyz Summon!

Descend!

Rank-8! Galaxy-Eyes Cipher Dragon!

Kaito: Sakaki Yuya.

He managed to stop the Academia army’s invasion of Heartland by speaking through Dueling.

If Yuya and Yuto’s souls still exist…

Kaito: This time, it’s our turn to speak through our Dueling!

Captain Falcon: However, as long as he has Dark Rebellion, we cannot attack Supreme Dragon King Zarc due to its Monster Effect.

Kaito: In that case…

I’ll take control of it and convert it into our power!

So that our feelings can reach the depths of his heart!

Kaito: I detach one of Galaxy-Eyes Cipher Dragon’s Overlay Units, and activate its Monster Effect!

Once per turn, until the End Phase,

I can negate the effects of one monster on the Field,

And take control of it!

Kaito: I’ll take control of Supreme King Servant Dragon – Dark Rebellion,

And treat it as Galaxy-Eyes Cipher Dragon!

Cipher Projection!

Zarc: Hah!

Behold my power!

The monsters on my Field won’t be affected by the effects of my opponent’s Fusion, Synchro, and Xyz Monsters!

Kaito: What!?

Captain Falcon: That’s impossible!

Kaito: It’s immune to effects?

But if I attack, he can retaliate with Dark Rebellion’s effect.

Kaito: If we want to conquer Dark Rebellion,

And deliver our feelings to Yuya and Yuto,

We have no choice but to take a gamble!

Kaito: I set three cards face-down, and end my turn!

(ZETSUBOU commercial. Brb)

Reiji: We’ve returned to the same place again…

Reira: Brother! This way!

Reiji: The effects of the dimensions’ fusion are becoming more intense…

Reira: AAAH!

Reiji: What’s the matter, Reira!?

Reira: G-Ghosts?

Ghost 1: Where am I?

Ghost 2: This isn’t Heartland?

Ghost 3: I was in the City!

Reiji: They’re not ghosts.

They’re residents of the Xyz and Synchro Dimensions.

Reiji: This must be another effect of the dimensions’ fusion…

Random Dude: Hey, what is that! AAAH!

Allen: Sayaka! This way! Hurry!

What are you doing!?

Sayaka: Look! I saw Shun just now!

See? Kaito is there as well!

Allen: Sayaka! RUN!

Sayaka: Heh?

Sayaka & Allen: AAAHHHHHHH!

Allen: Where are we…

Kaito!

Sayaka: Shun!

Captain Falcon: Sayaka! Allen!

Why are they here!?

Kaito: He’s making his move, Shun!

Zarc: It is my turn!

I attack Galaxy-Eyes Cipher Dragon with Supreme King Servant Dragon – Dark Rebellion!

Supreme King Servant Dragon – Dark Rebellion’s effect activates!

By detaching an Overlay Unit, until the End Phase of this turn,

The ATK of my opponent’s battling monster becomes zero,

And the lost amount is added to its ATK!

Allen: Look out, Shun!

Captain Falcon: No need to panic!

Captain Falcon: I won’t let it end like this.

We must deliver our feelings to Yuya and Yuto!

Captain Falcon: Quick-Play Magic, Rank-Up-Magic Devotion Force, activate!

When a monster attacks on my opponent’s turn,

I can activate it by targeting an Xyz Monster on my Field!

I can Xyz Summon a Raidraptor that is one Rank higher!

Ferocious falcon!

Cut your way through the fierce battle and spread your wings!

Eradicate all enemies who dare to approach you!

Rank-Up Xyz Change!

Come forth!

Rank-5! Raidraptor - Blaze Falcon!

Kaito: Just wait. Yuya. Yuto.

I will deliver my feelings through my Dueling!

Quick-Play Magic, Rank-Up-Magic Limit Over Force, activate!

If a monster is Special Summoned to my opponent’s Field with a Rank-Up-Magic card,

I can activate it by halving my Life Point and targeting an Xyz Monster on my Field!

Kaito: AAAAAHHHHHHH!\

Kaito: I can Xyz Summon a monster that is one Rank higher!

Galaxy shining in the darkness!

Unleash the eternal and unyielding light, and become the beacon that illuminates the future!

Descend!

Rank-9! Neo Galaxy-Eyes Cipher Dragon!

Kaito: The ATK of a monster Xyz Summoned through Limit Over Force will be multiplied by the number of Rank-Up-Magics that have been activated so far!

Therefore, Neo Galaxy-Eyes’s ATK will be doubled!

Captain Falcon: I’ll also activate the Quick-Play Magic, Rank-Up-Magic Limit Over Force!

If a monster is Special Summoned to my opponent’s Field with a Rank-Up-Magic card,

I can activate it by halving my Life Point and targeting an Xyz Monster on my Field!

Captain Falcon: AAAAAHHHHHH!

Captain Falcon: I can Xyz Summon a monster that is one Rank higher!

Prideful falcon!

Spread your wings dyed in the blood of heroes.

Advance through the road of revolution!

Rank-Up Xyz Change!

Come forth!

Rank-6! Raidraptor – Revolution Falcon!

Captain Falcon: The ATK of a monster Xyz Summoned through Limit Over Force will be multiplied by the number of Rank-Up-Magics that have been activated so far, until the End Phase of this turn!

Therefore, Revolution Falcon’s ATK will be tripled!

Sayaka: Wow…

Allen: Amazing…

Allen: After Shun Rank-Upped, Kaito was able to use Rank-Up-Magic Limit Over Force.

Sayaka: And after Kaito used Limit Over Force to Rank-Up, Shun was able to Rank-Up again by using another Limit Over Force.

Sayaka: And they did all of that on the fly, to boot!

Allen: That’s Shun and Kaito for you.

Captain Falcon: Listen to my voice, Yuto!

Kaito: Listen to my voice, Yuya!

Continuous Trap, Rank-Up Gravity, activate!

When I have a Rank-Upped Xyz Monster on my Field,

My opponent’s monsters can only attack Rank-Upped monsters!

If they do not attack, they will be banished by the end of the Battle Phase!

Allen: All right! This is perfect!

Allen: The ATKs of Neo Galaxy-Eyes and Revolution Falcon are higher than the opposing monsters’ ATKs.

Sayaka: Hang in there! Shun! Kaito!

Zarc: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

So, this farce is all your skills amount to?

Zarc: Supreme King Servant Dragon – Dark Rebellion’s effect activates!

By returning it to the Extra Deck,

I can Special Summon the two Supreme King Servant Dragons in my Graveyard!

And the ATKs of the Xyz Monsters on my opponent’s Field will be reduced to zero!

Captain Falcon: Wha…!? What!?

Allen: Reducing their ATKs to zero!?

Sayaka: That’s…

Sayaka: Kaito! Shun!

GONGENZAKA: That’s Yuya?

Edo: Yeah.

Sora: We Dueled in order to bring back Yuya’s soul, but…

GONGENZAKA: Sawatari! I’ll leave them to you!

SAWATARI-SAN: Ah! Got it!

Huh? This sound…

Zarc: This is it.

There is no honor greater than being defeated by me!

Zarc: I attack Revolution Falcon and Neo Galaxy-Eyes Cipher Dragon with my two Darkwurms!

Captain Falcon: Action Magic, Miracle, activate!

Kaito: Action Magic, Evasion, activate!

Zarc: Did you think that such parlor tricks will work against me?

Because of my power, cards added to the hand outside of the Draw Phase will be negated and destroyed!

Captain Falcon: Even the Action Cards…

GONGENZAKA: That Duel…!

JACK: Kept you waiting, huh!?

GONGENZAKA: Jack Atlas!

JACK: Let’s go!

Duel Disk: Intrusion Penalty, 2000 points.

Zarc: Some new challengers have arrived, it seems.

I no longer have any business with you two.

Get out of my sight!

Captain Falcon: AAAAHHHH!

Kaito: AAAAAHHHHHHH!

GONGENZAKA: Kurosaki! Kaito!

Captain Falcon: Sorry. Shiun’in Sora.

Captain Falcon: Gongenzaka…I’ll entrust this to you.

GONGENZAKA: This is…Yuya’s!

Captain Falcon: The rest is up to you.

GONGENZAKA: Leave it to me, the manly Gongenzaka!

JACK: Seems like that’s Yuya.

GONGENZAKA: Yeah. Our allies fell, trying to bring back Yuya’s soul.

JACK: Sakaki Yuya and the four dragons became one, and became the Demon Duelist.

Supreme Dragon King Zarc.

But if there is still a shred of Sakaki Yuya’s soul in him, no matter how small it is,

I’ll do whatever it takes to bring him back!

GONGENZAKA: Just wait, Yuya!

We’ll definitely save you!

SAWATARI-SAN: I’m counting on you! Jack! Gongenzaka!

Do your best, and fight on my behalf as well!

JACK: Supreme Dragon King Zarc!

GONGENZAKA & JACK: The two of us will fight you!

#arc v #arc v spoilers

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lordraveondagooseofdolallytap · 5 years ago

Text

DOING PURGO

I wasn’t even Catholic, so it’s not like I had signed up for the whole concept.

They tell you-

You die

You get to know your ultimate destination right away. Heaven or hell

If it’s going to be heaven you may have to do time in purgatory first. It’s about getting yourself cleansed before you can enter Heaven and get The Everlasting Joy.

That’s what they tell you back in life. Especially that bit about being personally judged the minute you die so you know right off there and then where you are going to end up…ultimately. They don’t publish stats, but I’m guessing most of us end up here in purgatory for some time…except there is no time. That’s the big catch. We don’t have time here.

On the upside, it’s not like medieval paintings. Being whipped, impaled on spikes, boiled in oil…and it never has been. I’m guessing that was a case of blasting out the terror in ways that people could get and understand. Stick to the rules or you’re going to spend eternity having a great long spike hammered through your innards.

We do suffer but what they give you is endless (risk assessed) Ennui alternating with Nausea. Back and forth sometimes two nausea’s followed by five ennui but ‘overtime’ it averages out to fifty-fifty. That’s what they say. The orderlies on the desk as you come in tell you. “It’s exactly half and half”. What they don’t tell you is we don’t have time here. It’s just a kind of suspension where things come and go. No sun up or sundown. No seasons or weather worthy of the name. You can’t say “tomorrow this chunk of nausea will be completed and then I’m doing some ennui for five weeks. Then in five years I’m out and got everlasting joy”. It would be a lot easier to do if that was the case. Instead, we just have this suspension. A prorogation of living

It really cracks people up when they first come in. I saw it when we were on standby shortly after arrival and waiting for allocation. The fog and silence not yet in place. The newly arrived recently deceased asking for a statement of goals they have to achieve to demonstrate sufficient cleansing has happened and therefore progress onto the place after this can occur (that’s what we call it). The orderlies doing the induction sessions just keep saying, “it’s not like that. No one is going to give you goals. We can’t describe it, you will just have to wait and see. Then you will know”. Then we, the recently died all laugh. That’s just a habit thing. Nothing in it. Just the empty mechanics of laughter

So it goes on. Sometimes it’s the same Ennui. That night you had to spend at the airport in Toronto where nothing was open apart from the sushi bar. When you sat down for a while then walked around and sat down again. No Wi-Fi and anyway no mobiles. I get that one a lot. Other times it’s like the dismal November days you used to have when the year was almost out and any interest or energy had gone. Just sitting around and waiting. And that boredom and absence of sensation were so unbearable that the thought of twanging the back of your hand with an elastic felt attractive. You get so near going crazy that you can imagine welcoming The Nausea’s when they come round again. It’s got to be better than Ennui. But that’s just memory fooling you and you remember the instant that it starts that the nausea is much worse than the ennui. Back in life, nausea might be mainly dizziness or wanting to vomit or an intense headache but here it’s all three and all at the same time. They give me (or I select without knowing it) at that time when I went to the old cinema in Headingley in Leeds. I’d taken a girlfriend to see the film, Watership Down. Awful nausea came over me at the cinema, her as well. Both of us together while we were watching the Bright Eyes scene (where Art Garfunkel sings the song).

Heightened sensations all around. The rotation in my brain, losing all independent balance. Having to hang onto things to stay standing. Worst of all the feel of the sick wanting to come up but not being able to. Wave after wave of spasms from gut to gullet. So strong that they felt like they might turn me inside out. Guts on the outside.

We got across Leeds by bus to our flat above the hairdressers in Harehills. The pair of us lay there for days waking and sleeping, throwing up into buckets arranged around the bed and then falling back into filthy sheets and waiting for the next wave to well up. On the third day, the monster was a little subdued but I could barely hope it was over. We were so awfully weak afterwards. Lifting a glass of water seemed more than was possible. We lay propped up on the filthy pillows and gazed at the ceiling or the far wall. Awful, awful. Then inched into sleep. I get to relive that episode regularly for my Purgo but it’s not half as bad as the other one I won’t talk about.

What’s the hardest thing, and this needs some thinking about. is that there is no sense or order to anything. The episodes (I suppose torture of a kind) seemingly come and go of their own accord with seemingly not a second between one and the next. Back in life, time progressed from A to B, there were schedules and causes, now we just waft about. How much time has passed I cannot tell, No one can because there is no time only suspension, and flashes of repetitive memory and perception.

And there is no logic either. None of these ghastly things relates in any way to the bad things we are supposed to have done in life. There is barely time to think about one's supposed sins. Even when I’m on the Ennui, one would assume there would be endless opportunity to think about regrets (or indeed lack of regret, but now there is just flatness and energy absence. Your thoughts only circulate around immediate sensations… from the chair, your back and stomach. The ground under one's feet. The sensations, violent or enervating fill the space, and no greater thoughts can break through. I do want to think, to try and remember what it was that might have resulted in me being here. I’m buggered if I know.

But no, we don’t get any of that. We just hang around and sensations (dull to the point of absolute enervation or violent and convulsive pass through us). Seemingly without end.

There are other souls. We do sometimes see each other. It’s like encountering people in dense fog when you’re walking up on a high moor somewhere. A face and then a body will emerge out of the grey-whiteness and come toward you. They will say “how do” or “hello,” and you answer back the same and carry on. That’s all that is possible. It’s like our mouths are only loaded with those words and nothing else. No option for conversation.

I do have a regretful thought. One that prods me like a sharp stick. Why had I not asked more back in the induction room when the orderlies were there for us to talk to? I know what I would have said now, “Who do you have to impress to get out of here?”

It is not clear how one might impress. There is seemingly just no cause and effect and no way to anticipate the end so it’s driving me crazy. I suspect there is no structure of authority that can say “well done” and “On you go to The Everlasting Joy and Glory”. There is just me and I can’t reach myself.

It’s at this precise moment the obvious dawns on me. I am having thoughts. Proper ones and have been doing for some time (so there is time again). It’s like the last bit that realised this is the part responsible for knowing such things. The awareness has come upon me like sap rising up through a tree.

The fog blows off, and I am back in the prison library where I once worked. It’s familiar as always. The bookshelves, the library orderlies counter, the office behind me to the right. The green button on the wall we press for assistance when it all kicks off. The locked doors at either end of the room, but now there are no keys at my hip and that gives me unease.

I am not on my own. I sense a presence or three over at the orderlies counter. They speak politely, “Please come across Mr Ryan, Everything is ready, time is going on so we need to make a start. It should not take long”

The three figures are dressed in lightweight blue polyester jumpsuits that look to zip up at the front. Besides that, I cannot remark on much. They are close to amorphous. No not totally true. They are like balloon people but the balloons are long and silvery. They protrude at the point where the head, arms and feet might have been. There is nothing to discern that indicates individuality. They are Amorphoids. That’s the name I give them. The name choice came from nowhere and is a little shocking. My thoughts are flowing again and I am able to create. Wonderful.

The Amorphoid in the centre is resting a leg on the table and a voice emerges from the end of it. “Hello, Mr Ryan, and welcome. Let me say at once, Thank you for spending your Purgatory with us. It means a lot. Here at Pergo Cleansing, we endeavour to deliver a safe, effective and a truly cleansing Purgatory experience in partnership with The Universal Order and XOX. How is ya feeling?”

I move to speak but it’s hard to draw out the words. The mechanism is sluggish “I am good thank you. Just feeling a little odd”. My own sound shocks me. It’s squeaky. Bugger. This would be an excellent time to have gravitas.

“Superb, excellent. Glad to hear that. Now let’s crack on. We have all got things to do. I need to tell you upfront there has been a problem with your Purgatory. This is rare, and we are constantly working to ensure it never happens again, but it did happen in your case. But you are very rare. We lost your records, and because of that we are not one hundred per cent sure why you are here”

My innards convulse and force upwards a wretched primal wail.”OOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAA”. It’s of me but not by me. Or that’s how it feels but then the two things merge and become one. I am reconstituting.

Amorphoid Number 1, goes on like nothing happened. “We do have a tag though and that’s the most important thing, it’s just the case notes themselves that have disappeared. They give the background information, like potential exacerbating or mitigating factors and of course the judge’s directions for eternity”. My rib cage expands and contracts wildly. Forcing air in and out. I hear sobbing. That is probably me.

“And you were put into the Soul Cleansing Phase without a discharge date. This is something we call a ‘Never Ever Event’, and when such things happen they need to be investigated by senior operational managers. That does not directly affect you but I just wanted to say there will be a thoroughgoing Route Cause Analysis and a report will go to the Senior Management Team hear at Purgo Cleansing. Lessons will be learnt and memo’s circulated to be read out amongst all team leaders and front line staff”

Rage spreads up through me like leaping forest fire, I stand and tip over one of the heavy chairs and a low flat table. I am roaring like the Incredible Hulk. No one responds so I shrug lean against the wall near the True Crime Books.

Amorphoid Number 1 continues. “Given our possible mistake…we can’t at this point rule out sabotage, yes but let’s call it a possible mistake. We want to have a quick hearing now and get things back on track and operating as they should be. It’s in everyone’s best interest…yours and ours… to get your Purgatory back within the framework of the appropriate system. As The Universal Order and XOX always say “one departure from protocol need not spoil the pudding”. We need to make progress now though. There is a brief and partial summary of your sample offence on the chamber tag. The Date of the offence was the 24th of November 1978. Location: A nurse’s home at Meanwood Park Hospital. And the offence classification is-

I-Insincerity in major life decisions

1.1 Nota significatione. A lifelong tendency to imitate actions of characters in film, TV media or books

1.2 Notable instances not included in this sample charge. Thinking himself to be like Woody Guthrie, Che Guevara, Ernest Hemingway, Jack Kerouac, Rod Stewart, Paul Newman, John Steinbeck and Bruce Springsteen…and posing around like he was them.

1.3 Circumstances of the sample charge: The accused set out to replicate an e…

Okay, the tag is torn there, so we need to know what you did on the 24th November 1978 and which fictional or real-life character you were imitating when you did it. That’s what we need to know before we can dispose of your case”.

“Oh come on!” my voice sounds like the voice of XOX, which I played in a school play one time. I was a teacher of sorts for a while. I had to adopt a deep echoing voice and blast out from the wings, “Francis rebuild my church” with gravitas and force. It worked well and I got positive comments afterwards. The play was about St Francis of Assisi.

Amorphoid Number 2 slammed down his right leg on the table. “Who do you think you are talking to? We are the Purgatory Tribunal. Think for a moment about that for a moment before speaking again. Cooperate or we will bring in an administrative sentence”. No explanation of what that might be was given but I got the vibe.

“Okay, I had seen a film called ‘That’ll Be the Day’, starring Ringo Starr and David Essex. Came out in 1973. The David Essex was a bit of a wayward lad. Clever but a bit of good looking bastard and one for the lasses. Always wanting to be on the wild side of life. Worked on the dodgems at a fairground and before that as a Blue Coat or something at a holiday camp. That kind of thing. Well after living out on the fringe like that for a while his mum gets him to come back home and make a go at fitting in and being a good, responsible man. He courts a girl he knew before and they plan on getting married but on the night before the wedding he has it off with her sister or best friend or something. In the back of a van. He gets married the next day, but we know this man is never going to stick at it. So that’s what I did. I sort of felt I wanted to copy him. I was only twenty-one. I know it sounds daft but at the time it was like I was paying tribute to the character. I’m not even sure we did it, have sex I mean we were so drunk”. I laughed a bit there and looked for a sympathetic response but of course, there was just blankness.

“Had you done anything similar that same week or was it just that last night before the wedding”. These were the first words for Amorphoid Number 3. She swung her left leg over the table to speak. Why am I thinking it’s her? Do they have ‘hers’ and ‘hims’? She does sound more sympathetic though. I will concentrate on her.

“I am afraid I had been doing it all the previous week. Asking different women I knew to sleep with me, but they all said: “No, you have made a choice now stick with it”. It was only on the last night that one lass gave in. We were both very drunk. No one knew about it except the Lesbians next door. The ground floor in the nursing home was mostly lesbians, first-floor heterosexual women and top floor men (mixed).” I don’t know why but I was starting to feel good about myself, and making no effort to disguise it.

“You lack integrity and authenticity”. That’s plain and spoken from your own mouth”. Amorphoid Number 2 had a trace of a Yorkshire accent. He was good at being judgemental. He or it continued “Don’t you see how shallow and narcissistic your actions were?”

Those words cut through and shuck me up. I was in trouble, and my big mouth was giving them the ammunition they needed to bang me up in Pergo forever. I decided to try the humble tack. “Your honours I was barely more than a kid. I might have been twenty-one, but I was more like seventeen in the head. I was just experimenting with what kind of person I might be. I did become a good husband later on”.

Yorkshire Amorphoid was not having any of that. “Mr Ryan, remember this is a sample charge. We don’t have access to notes on the other instances but there must have been episodes of similar behaviour for you to come here. Now think about that and let’s get real shall we”.

Soft-spoken and possibly female Amorphoid cut across, “Mr Ryan, we are keeping in mind the errors that have occurred in your case and want to be as fair as we can, but you need to help us. We value integrity and authenticity very highly here. You are giving the impression you don’t know what those two words mean. There have been cases where we had gone easier on a murderer than someone who cheated at cards because the killer believed in what he was doing and then felt true remorse when he realised his error. Please pause and take note, you are not giving a good account of yourself”,

I am in trouble, how can I climb out of this hole and get back on track? It’s like I’m scrambling up a crumbling bank of soft earth. “I wanted to be different”. The words got out before I could trap them.

“Go on”, says softie Amorphoid, tell us how you could be different by copying others”. That stung. She was not what I thought she was.

“Okay, I take your point. This was all pretty narcissistic and shallow stuff, but I was like in a supermarket shopping around for a persona that I liked. I never told my wife what I’d done and I was never unfaithful again. She was though. Twice. Once with an Australian she met in a cinema cue, the other time with an accountant that wrote poetry”.

“Mr Ryan, stop digging”

I was directed to a cubicle at the edge of the room. The walls looked like a black and white abstract patterned Formica table my mother once had. I sat at the chair and looked into the patterns. They were reforming into musical notes. This was not in the library when I worked here. It would have been inappropriate for reasons of security. Then I was called out by the Amorphoid Tribunal Chair and as I left the cubicle I looked around and the whole library was reforming into a shoebox shape constructed of the same Formica material. “Please come back in Mr Ryan, we have a decision.

“It’s one of our maxims, here are Purgo-Cleansing. Start off with justice and then temper it. Our aim is redemption, not ruination. We don’t aim to metaphorically flog someone until they buckle at the knees and fall like a broken horse. No, we want you to walk out of Purgo cleansed and remade and ready for progression to the better place. Taking a broader view we must acknowledge mistakes as well. The loss of the case notes in whatever way it happened. The failure to follow checking procedures and the unclassified Purgo Cleansing phase. If you are happy to sign this release form we are pleased to offer you a fairly unique Purgatory package. It does the job with only the mildest of torment. Do you play the guitar?”

I was going to be a special kind of orderly. I would stand alongside the others at the reception desk where new arrivals showed up and were processed. I was to sing to them. Country and Western songs. The most insincere ones. I would literally sing the insincerity out of me. Morning, noon and night, except of course there was no time. One thing was different. I would know when I was cleansed and ready. My guitar would show it. It would turn green by degrees, and I would be summoned by a person yet to be recruited to hold my guitar against a painted deep green square upon the wall and when they matched my insincerity would be gone from me and I would be free to go.

So that’s how I got my job as ‘Country Singer in Residence in Purgatory’. Funny how things turn out. I watch the crowds roll by each day and I sing out to them.

Songs like “Will the Circle be Unbroken”

“I was standing by the window

On one cold and cloudy day

When I saw the hearse come rolling

For to carry my mother away

Will the circle be unbroken?

By and by Lord, by and by

There’s a better home awaiting

In the sky Lord in the sky”.

My songs are the last ones they hear before their torment. Despite anyone’s intentions, I can see that some people like what I’m doing and their hand goes to where their pocket once was to feel for loose change…but of course there are no pockets in shrouds.

I do maybe twenty songs in a revolving cycle and then some spot features like-

Mr Bojangles. The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band “He jumped so high” I love those words.

Hank Williams. Jambalaya. Joyful

Even some Galveston, Glen Campbell (“I close my eyes and dream of Galveston”).

I get to make all my own song choices as Pergo- Cleansing doesn’t really have a feel for the genre and I just sketch in a note or two on a song supposed insincerity in the logbook. Bit of a doddle really and I get to think clear thoughts; something I love so much now. The guitar is just a pale lime green but there is progress and it’s painless. I’m thinking of incorporating some Dylan. Maybe ‘Angelina’. It’s got a line which I think is apt.

“My right hand drawing back, while my left-hand advances”. Something like that.

Maybe we will meet one day. If we do, just shout out a request.

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#purgatory #Short story #creative writing #humour

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hasansonsuzceliktas · 5 years ago

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Different Schools of Yoga

In classical terms, there are 4 paths- Karma Yoga (yoga of action), Bhakti yoga (yoga of devotion), Jnana yoga (yoga of wisdom) and Raja yoga (royal yoga). Karma Yoga Karma Yoga is the yoga of action. For me, it's the most practical of all yoga schools. It stems from the idea that every desire should be fulfilled. The Universe is so generous that it gives us back whatever we desire or generate. Karma is the ripple we generate at the Universe with our thoughts, words, actions, and desires. In other words, you reap what you sow, what goes around comes around, and every action has a reaction in the universe. It's a Universal rule. It's that simple. For as long as we generate a ripple or a reaction in the Universe with our actions, words, or thoughts, we can't escape from Samsara (rebirth), which means we need to come back to this life over and over again to fulfill what we've generated. Ha ha, here it gets fun…There is a way to get around this Universal law! We can overcome Karma and end Samsara (rebirth) if we can manage not to create karma, and burn the ones we've generated so far, while still living in this world. To me, Bhagavad Gita is the ultimate text that explains how to overcome generating these ripples, Karma. The Bhagavad Gita is a conversation between Arjuna and Krishna at a battle field and begins with Arjuna throwing his weapons down because he doesn't want to shed blood of his own relatives. He prefers death rather than killing his own family. Krishna explains to him how he should not give up action, rather fulfill action with a sense of service by being true to himself. Any action, he says, should be without any attachment to the result and an offering to Divine. It's a rather radical way to encourage one to fight, until you realize by the end that the real fight is a fight with your own ego and your life is the real battlefield. Krishna teaches Arjuna how to fulfill a life without Karma, by finding peace in every action by offering it up to the Divine, and overcoming traps like anger, worry, ignorance and more importantly one's own ego. If an action is done with selfless devotion without any expectations and attachment, it doesn't generate a ripple. It's quiet a learning! How can we apply this to real life and not generate karma, or a single ripple, in the Universe? One way to practice this is to perform every action without expecting any particular outcome, without expectations of monetary benefit or praise, and perform everything as a service to humanity and a service to Divine. This way, we at least stop generating Karma. There are different ways to burn old karma. The most effective way is to bring awareness to a sanskara (imprints left behind). There are rituals, like fire ceremony, that burns karma. Requesting grace of a guru thru meditation techniques is yet another way to clean old karma. Again what counts is the awareness and desire to neutralize our imprints. The ultimate practice of Karma yoga is to fully materialize our Divine purpose on this earth, live in accordance with our true self, establish our purpose on Earth, to think, talk, act from a space of non-duality, meaning nothing to wish because we realize everything is perfect as is, nothing to regret because everything was meant to be, no anger, no worries, no expectations, nothing to give, nothing to receive, simply being content in the present moment. and….Voila! No more Karma. Bhakti Yoga There were times when I was attracted to different yoga schools throughout my journey. My journey started with Raja Yoga, by observing yamas and niyamas, doing asanas and pranayama, and following the 8 limb path, like most people start their yoga journey in the West. But when I was introduced to other schools, I realized how intertwined they are. Now, if I don't practice one of them, my own practice doesn't feel full and complete. I can't imagine not practicing Jnana yoga, studying scriptures, especially Vedanta which satisfies my analytical mind and soul at the same time. In the same way, I can't imagine not practicing Karma yoga, doing selfless service either in the form of volunteering, fund raising or simply offering up fruits of my actions. However there is one path, Bhakti yoga, which holds the other 3 together for me. Without Bhakti yoga, the yoga of devotion, my practice would be dry and incomplete. They say there are 9 different ways of practicing Bhakti yoga. In the East, Bhakti yoga is seen as a devotion to a Divine being, a god, goddess or a guru as the manifestation of Divine. In the West, it's typically perceived more as devotion to whatever one feels like representing Divine. I was introduced to Bhakti Yoga through Kirtan, or devotional chanting. I was immediately hooked. To me, Kirtan feels like you're at a stadium concert with your favorite band, but you're actually on the stage with the band playing and singing your lungs out together. It's that great! It's like a flight for the soul, where you start soft and rise above slowly until you completely let go and crack open, without knowing you're full with Divine and you slowly come back to self but always keep a piece of that experience with you. Ever since then, chanting has become a part of my practice, especially in my long commute to work every morning and evening. I must say I was very lucky with the grace of a Guru and from time to time I still pinch myself how in the world I deserved this Grace. Only if one feels the call and if it resonates with you is Guru Yoga a practice to follow. It is definitely not for everyone, but it's very rewarding. Another important piece of my Bhakti yoga practice is my Altar. I have symbols or pictures of the Divine ones that resonate with me to remind me I'm not alone. I have objects of Divine beauty, a sea shell, or a rose pedal that reminds me the beauties of this world as Divine manifestations. Every time I sit on my altar, I commune with them before I start my meditation practice. Everything, if done with devotion, can be a Bhakti yoga practice. In my personal practice I use yoga asanas as a way to show devotion. I throw myself, I throw my heart into my mat with devotion. Especially I practice Surya Namaskar, Sun Salutation, my core asana practice for devotion. It's the intent that counts! Kapalbhati is my favorite Bhakti yoga pranayama . Like I said, everything if done with devotion can be Bhakti yoga. In Kapalbhati, I visualize Light or a manifestation of Divine in the form of Guru or saint in my 3rd eye. I inhale towards the Divine, stop and merge for a second and I bring back a piece with me when I exhale. After all, Bhakti yoga practice is to pretend to unite with Divine until you realize you're the Divine itself. Jnana Yoga Imagine you're at a jewelry store and checking out hundreds of gold rings. Each gold ring has a different shape and size. Regardless of their shape and size; their essence is the same, they're all gold. No matter what shape or size these the rings come, their essence doesn't change. This is how a Jnana yogi would explain you this philosophy. Our true nature is Divine. Imagine a see through empty glass. There is air inside, there is air outside. The air inside and outside is exactly the same. That's how we forget our true essence, and think ourselves separate from Divine. The practice of Vendanta is to dissolve the glass to recognize your true self. Jñāna yoga is the yoga of knowledge but it's knowing beyond our intellect, it goes all the way to knowing with the core of our soul. Knowing what? Knowing the ultimate reality, our true nature, our essence; which is pure consciousness and bliss. Vedanta is the philosophy identified with Jnana yoga and is one of the most difficult paths because it uses mind to negate itself to inquire its true nature. Veda means knowledge and Anta means end. Vedanta is said to be the philosophy which leads to the end of knowledge. It's funny how it starts with knowledge and draws you into yourself to realize the only ultimate knowledge, is to know the self. Adi Shankara is the great sage of Vedanta. He was a great philosopher, a poet who lived in the 8th century. He started his spiritual journey when he was 8, he traveled around India all the way to Himalayans 3 times by foot, he wrote many books, poems, commentaries and he died when he was only 32. He established the Swami order that is still used in India today. Sankaracharya's philopophy or as it's called Advaita (non-dualistic) philosophy advocates the oneness of individual soul and Brahman (cosmic soul). The rain, the water that flows into the river and the sand in the river that sustains it, all are one and only one. Everything is Divine, the Brahman. I was first exposed to Sankaracharya , thru Dave Stringer's beautiful voice. When I listened Nirvanashatakam during a Kirtan, I didn't understand any of the words but he song touched me so deeply. It was the most inspiring song I've ever listened. I think sometimes even the vibration of words are enough to move you even though you don't understand meaning. After the Kirtan when I read the lyrics, I couldn't believe how simple yet profound this poem was. Then I started studying Vedanta texts by writings of Swami Dayananda, Swami Tadatmananda, Rasmesh Balsekar. Here I'd like to share my favorite Adi Shankara poem, Nirvanashatakam. i am not mind, intellect, ego or memory; Not ears or tongues, or smell or sight; not ether, air, fire, water or earth. i am not virtue or vice; pleasure or pain, not mantra, not sacred place, Scripture or sacrifice; not the food, the eater or the act of eating. i am beyond all things. i am everlasting, self-luminuos. taintless, and pure; immovable, blissful and imperishable. i am without thought, without forms, I am all pervasive, I am beyond all senses; i am not detachment or salvation or anything that could be measured. i am consciousness and bliss. Shankaracharya (788-820 A.D.) This poem also reflects one of the Vendata techniques, which is negation. The practitioner negates who he/she thinks is until he/she find the true self, the Divine-self. Here is also my favorite Ramesh Balsekar video. I must admit, it's little heavy but If you watch this and enjoy it and it resonates with you, probably there is a Jnana yogi in you. :-) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fByNIZWwm4 and I welcome you to the wonderful world of Vedanta! Raja Yoga There are so many different ways to classify Yoga philosophy, and one way is to look at the different schools of Yoga. In classical terms, there are 4 paths- Karma Yoga (yoga of action), Bhakti yoga (yoga of devotion), Jnana yoga (yoga of wisdom) and Raja yoga (royal yoga). Raja Yoga is the school of Yoga that we're most familiar in the West. It's also called Asthanga Yoga, or 8 limbed path. Thanks to Patanjali, a sage who lived around 100 BC, he compiled the ancient teachings, the Yoga Sutra's, which are the foundations of Raja Yoga. Raja Yoga provides practitioners a comprehensive, step by step approach to purify body and mind to achieve liberation. The eight limbs of Raja yoga are: • Yama – things that we should restraint • Niyama – things that we should cultivate • Asana – practice of yoga postures • Pranayama – breathwork to bridge the body and mind • Pratyahara – withdrawal of senses • Dharana – concentration of mind • Dhyana – meditation • Samadhi – the state to realize true self, blissful and consciousness Having such a clear path helped to satisfy my analytical mind when I first started my yoga practice. Shortly thereafter I realized how these steps are intertwined and in fact should be practiced together to master the mind. In fact it's a mix and match! You can take one, any one of these steps, and apply it in conjuncture of another, except the last one, Samadhi. Like you can never tell a fruit will be ripened and fall down from the tree, you can't tell when you will achieve Samadhi. It's viewed as God's Grace. Likewise, the Yama and Niyamas, the moral codes are like threads, if you go deep down in one, you find yourself perfecting another. That's how Mahatma Gandhi, by practicing Ahimsa, not only worked towards his liberation but liberated a whole country. Yamas the "Don't's". Ahimsa, non-violence Satya, truthfulness Brahmacharya, moderation or self control. Asteya, non-stealing Aparigraha, non-possessiveness Niyamas – The "Do's". Saucha, purity Santosha, contentment Tapas, self-discipline Swadhyaya, self-study and study of the sacred scriptures Ishwara Pranidhana surrender to God After all it's about how we can take these yogic principles off the mat and integrate into our daily lifes. Read the full article

#east #meditation #philosophy #soul #spirituality #yoga

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