#WHO SAYS THAT

[solitarelee]

I forgot the COVID vaccine always makes me heavily bleed for some reason and had to send my brother to the store for emergency tampons again but this time

JGKSDJFKDSJK???

[hekateinhell]

anne rice really wrote this in 1994 and thought i wouldn't walk away shipping lesmand like

[strangerlittlethings]

I will kill ms

[levinbolts]

just barnabas being completely fucking normal

[mc-pumpkin]

JAKE AND EDDY???? FROM TWILIGHT??????????

[whim-prone-pirate]

they might have genuinely been drunk and high and over-caffeinated and overdosing when writing the nero and sporus scene because i'm rewatching it and what the FUCK was the point of it if not the most insane declaration of deep homosexual love ever displayed on television

[agentsnickers]

tonight a guest stopped on her way out of my portion of the show and asked how long the rest of the experience was. this happens a lot since ppl don't always expect it to be a 20+ min show and try to squeeze us in before dining reservations etc, so i told her the answer

and this upper middle aged lady looks me dead in the eye and goes "right. well this was hideous." and walks into the next room.

i have had a lot of guests say a lot of mean things to me over my years in this job but never has anybody stunned me the way this lady did. it was the last show of the night and i was exhausted, my show had gone on way longer than it was supposed to and i was literally about to be D O N E. and this lady insulted me to my face and just walked away.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

[marsafter-dark]

“Let’s defy density, together” I SEE YOU 🤨

[cringelordofchaos]

WHAT THE FYCK DAVID

[jesuistrestriste]

i unfortunately had a slightly embarrassing hookup last night! but! he whimpered when i kissed his neck so. i win.

[dromaeo-sauridae]

this post is fun cuz i dont say any of these

[meisterdani]

Good boy > good lad

[enomas-thron]

My younger sister said that my writing "avenges Maya Angelo" and I was so stunned by the compliment that I didn't care that she called me slightly stupid seconds later.

[perfectlysunny02]

I jerk off thinking about your husband