#but the DEPTH OF EMOTIONAL CONNECTION I’m looking for is not conveyed

[meisterdani]

Good boy > good lad

[nickeverdeen]

how about headcannons for a sunshine reader with five? Like how would five react if they saw them sad for the first time even though they're always pretty happy?

I’m so sorry that it’s this short, I just don’t know much about this stuff even though I tried to look it up (sunshine reader)

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Five x sunshine reader who cries in front of him for the first time

Five Hargreeves, known for his stoic and no-nonsense demeanor

Yet he finds himself in a completely new territory when faced with his sunshine-like lover shedding tears in front of him

Initially caught off guard, Five's sharp eyes soften, and he instinctively moves closer

His usual walls momentarily crumbling as he realizes the gravity of the moment

Five might not be the most emotionally expressive, but he has a subtle understanding of comfort

He wordlessly offers a handkerchief or tissue, his actions conveying a rare sense of tenderness

Despite his pragmatic nature, Five finds himself quietly asking:

"What's wrong?"

His tone, though still matter-of-fact, holds a touch of concern that is both surprising and genuine

As his sunshine love opens up about their emotions, Five listens attentively, absorbing every word

His ability to analyze situations extends to understanding the complexities of human emotions, and he navigates the conversation with a surprising degree of empathy

Five may not be one for grand gestures, but he subtly adjusts his approach, making an effort to be more attuned to his lover's emotional needs

Whether it's offering a comforting touch or just sitting in companionable silence, he adapts to the situation

Over time, Five's understanding deepens, and he learns to appreciate the strength it takes for his sunshine baby to express vulnerability

He becomes a reliable anchor for them, a source of support that contrasts with his usual aloof exterior

The first time his sunshine lover cries in front of him becomes a pivotal moment in their relationship, strengthening the connection between them

It marks a subtle shift in the dynamic, showcasing the depth of understanding that exists beyond the surface-level complexities of their lives

[moonmaiden1996]

Do you have some hcs for Law (he's my favorite 🥰)? Romance, dating, sexuality would be nice😙

Law takes time to let someone into his life romantically. He’s cautious and observes from a distance before making a move. “You’re... persistent,” he smirked, a rare glimmer of amusement breaking through his guarded demeanor.

Once he trusts someone, Law’s actions start showing his affection in subtle ways. “Here. I noticed you kept forgetting to grab your gloves before heading out.” He quietly leaves a new pair of gloves by your side without making a big deal of it.

His love language leans heavily on actions rather than outright declarations of love. “I tightened the straps on your gear. It wasn’t secure enough,” he says while pretending it’s purely for practical reasons, though it’s clear he cares.

Law prefers intimate, understated dates rather than grand displays of affection. “There’s a quiet spot on the next island where the stars are supposed to be brighter. Let’s check it out after we finish up here.”

A perfect date for Law often includes deep conversations that stimulate his mind. “You think the Will of D is connected to the Void Century? Interesting. I’ve thought about that too, but there’s not enough evidence yet,” his eyes lighting up as he leans into the discussion.

Law has a sly sense of humor that comes out once he’s comfortable with someone. “So, that was your grand strategy back there? Bold move. Reckless... but bold,” he says, grinning slightly as he shakes his head.

Law’s connections need depth and trust before becoming intimate. “I don’t... rush into things like this. If you’re okay with that, we’ll figure it out together,” his voice soft and unmistakably vulnerable.

He thrives on mutual trust and a sense of safety in relationships. “Tell me if something’s wrong. I can’t fix what I don’t know,” his voice steady, but there’s genuine concern in his eyes.

Law pays attention to what you need or enjoy, ensuring you feel cared for. “You looked tired, so I brought this tea. It’s supposed to help with headaches. Drink it while it’s warm.”

His compliments or expressions of interest are understated but meaningful. “You handled that sword pretty well. Who taught you?” he asks, a faint smirk playing on his lips, though the compliment is sincere.

Law’s gaze often conveys what his words don’t. He doesn’t say anything, but his sharp golden eyes linger on you during a quiet moment. When you notice, he looks away with a slight smirk.

His unpolished approach to personal matters can be surprisingly endearing. “Why are you smiling like that? Did I say something strange?” he asks, genuinely confused, but his awkwardness only makes him more charming.

Law takes commitment seriously and sees you as part of his crew and life. “You’re not just a passing thought to me. I don’t do things halfway, especially not with you,” he says in a low, determined voice.

He deeply appreciates someone who understands his larger goals. “I won’t stop until we’ve destroyed what’s broken in this world. If you’re with me... then stay with me,” his voice firm, almost like a plea.

You become an integral part of his crew. “The crew already likes you. Don’t make me regret letting them spoil you,” he says with mock annoyance, though there’s an affectionate undertone.

Law prefers rational discussions over heated arguments. “I’m not going to argue with you. Let’s talk when we’re both calm,” he says, walking away momentarily but always coming back to resolve the issue.

He listens to reason when you present a strong argument. “Fine. You’re right about this one. But don’t get used to it,” he concedes, crossing his arms but flashing a small grin.

NSFW

Law is someone who thrives on trust and emotional connection, and that extends to his physical relationships as well. He’s not the type to rush things—he likes to take his time to really understand his partner's needs and desires. His approach to intimacy is patient, thoughtful, and a little commanding.

Given his personality, Law likely enjoys positions that allow for a deep connection with his partner. He would prefer something that feels intimate, where he can be close and in control but still maintain that tender closeness. Positions like missionary or modified spooning could be his go-to. In missionary, he can look directly into his partner’s eyes, enjoying the intimacy of the moment. Plus, he can hold them close, feeling their body press against his—a comforting reminder that they’re his safe space.

Modified spooning would be another favorite of his—it allows him to feel in control but still intimately close, with his hands free to caress or explore his partner’s body. The closeness would appeal to him, as he enjoys feeling the heat of your body against him as his hips push against your ass. His hand slides along your skin as he cups your breast and buries his head in your neck.

Law likes to savor every moment, paying close attention to how his partner reacts to his touch. He’s not the type to rush into anything; he wants to make sure his partner is fully comfortable and engaged before moving forward. He loves exploring every inch of them, perhaps starting with gentle caresses, whispering soft words of encouragement, and gauging how they feel. The buildup is essential for him; he wants you begging before he even slides inside you.

While Law enjoys being the dominant partner, he is not overly aggressive. His control is subtle—a soft but firm hand guiding things along. He can be a little rough when necessary, enjoying having you at his mercy, completely under his control. He might pin your hands above your head, leaning down to whisper commands in your ear—sliding himself in deeper, not moving, just ever so slightly nudging against your G-spot, not moving until you’re a quivering mess beneath him.

He doesn’t say much at first, but as things heat up, his words become more frequent and pointed. He might tell you what he wants, whispering, “Let me hear you,” or “You’re doing so well,” as his hands move expertly over your body. The praise is genuine, his voice low and gravelly, sending shivers down your spine. This man is a grunter, so be ready for deep grunts.

He enjoys kissing deeply—not just on the lips but along your neck and shoulders, leaving soft, lingering touches that make you feel wanted and adored. His hands are a little rough from years of handling weapons, but they’re still capable of making you feel like you’re the most precious thing in the world. Let’s not forget how good his rough fingers will feel against your clit.

His neck and jawline are sensitive, and while he doesn’t often ask for attention there, he appreciates when someone takes the time to kiss or nibble lightly. It’s a tender spot for him, so when you do this, the man is putty in your hands.

Law is the type who wants to make sure his partner is as satisfied as he is. He won’t stop until he knows you cannot move. He will be taking the time to figure out what works best for you, whether it’s through his hands, his lips, or his thick cock. He’s attentive, observant, and doesn’t shy away from exploring what feels good for both of you.

Omg I love this! I just had to write it. Keep sending asks, any character, any ask?

[marsplastic13]

'Complicated' (part 16) - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Idea - Kaz Brekker hires a prostitute to overcome his touch aversion, and be a better man for Inej, but things take an unxepected turn. Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Prostitute!Reader, (had to use y/n because I'm bad at names) Genre: modern AU, slow burn word count: 6k notes: enjoy :)

@millercontracting @coldmermaidhologram @syd649

@luffysprincess @cryptidghostgirl @beekeepingageissome

@hufflepuff-16 @lukepattersin @jay-is-a-pinguin

“So,” she continued, her words more deliberate now, “I’m in love with you. You’re in love with me. What now, Brekker?”

The admission hit Kaz like a tsunami, the raw honesty of her words crashing over him. The fight and the confusion seemed to dissolve in the face of her drunken declaration. His mind raced as he tried to process what she had just said. How had they arrived at this point, and what did it mean for them now?

Kaz leaned in closer, his gaze locked onto hers, searching for the truth behind her words. Despite her inebriation, he could see the sincerity in her eyes, the vulnerability that she often kept hidden. It was clear that she had come to him not just out of the need for refuge but to confront the feelings she had been grappling with.

Kaz studied Y/n with a mix of relief and anxiety as her confession sank in. The words she had just said, in her drunken but brutally honest state, were the ones he had both longed for and dreaded. They were finally out in the open, but the emotional messiness of the moment made it hard to process what came next. He had been waiting for clarity, and here it was wrapped in a veil of alcohol and vulnerability.

As he tried to gather his thoughts, Y/n filled the silence with a half-joking question, her tone light but her eyes earnest. “Are we going to hold hands and spend our Sundays at Ikea?”

Kaz’s lips curved into a soft smile. He reached out and took her hand in his, feeling the warmth of her skin against his. “Sure, love.”

Y/n’s smile widened, her eyes sparkling with humor and affection. “Fight over who has to do the laundry or the dishes?”

“Absolutely,” Kaz replied, his grip tightening slightly, savoring the closeness.

Leaning in closer, Y/n continued, her voice dropping to a more conspiratorial whisper. “Burn all the steps and hate each other by the time we reach 40?”

Their noses almost touched, and Kaz could smell the faint, intoxicating trace of tequila on her breath. It was a heady mix of sweetness and sharpness that only added to the surreal quality of the moment.

Kaz cupped her face gently, his thumbs brushing against her cheeks as he looked deeply into her eyes. “Get a messy divorce?” he suggested, playing along.

“Fight for the custody of our children?” Y/n responded, her voice trembling with laughter and something deeper.

Kaz raised an eyebrow, trying to keep the mood light despite the intensity of their conversation. “Are we having children now?” he asked with a laugh.

Y/n nodded seriously, her expression softening as she gazed up at him. “Of course, I want them.”

“Then yes,” Kaz whispered, his voice low and filled with emotion, “all of that.” He closed the remaining distance between them, gently pressing his lips to hers.

The kiss was slow and tender, a stark contrast to the mess of their earlier confrontation. It was filled with unspoken promises and the depth of their mutual feelings, conveyed through the softness of their touch and the warmth of their embrace. In that moment, amidst the mess of their lives and the chaos of their emotions, they found a brief moment of clarity and connection. The world outside seemed to fall away as they shared this intimate, honest moment together.

Y/n lay back, dragging him down on top of her. Their kisses grew more urgent, more desperate, a mingling of relief and passion that neither had anticipated. Between their heated exchanges, she managed to murmur against his lips, “Am I your girlfriend now?”

“Yes,” Kaz replied without hesitation, the word sounding like a promise.

Y/n let out a small laugh, breathless and teasing. “At least ask me properly.”

Kaz paused, his lips hovering over hers, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Marry me,” he whispered, his voice low and rough, “Marry me, Y/n.”

She arched an eyebrow, a smirk playing on her lips. “Get me a ring and I’ll consider it.”

Kaz smiled against her neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin right under her jaw, making her shiver. “Consider it done,” he murmured, his hands tracing a path down her sides, memorizing every curve and dip.

Y/n’s laughter turned into a soft moan as his lips found her pulse point. “You’re serious, aren’t you?” she whispered, her voice filled with disbelief and longing.

Kaz pulled back slightly, looking into her eyes, his gaze intense and unwavering. “I’ve never been more serious,” he said, his thumb brushing against her cheek. “I want everything with you, Y/n. The arguments, the messy mornings, the kids, the forever.”

She looked up at him, her own eyes reflecting the depth of her feelings. “I’m scared of forever,” she admitted, her voice barely more than a whisper.

Kaz’s expression softened. He took a deep breath, his fingers lightly tracing her jawline. “Then give me tomorrow,” he said, his voice gentle but resolute.

Y/n reached up, cupping his face with both hands, pulling him closer. “Tomorrow I can do,” she said, her lips brushing his in a tender, reassuring kiss.

Kaz’s heart swelled with emotion as he kissed her back, his hands sliding down to her waist, pulling her even closer. “I’ll ask you every day,” he murmured against her lips. 

Y/n nodded, her eyes closing as she savored the warmth of his embrace. “I’ve never had anyone want me like this,” she confessed. “It’s... terrifying.”

Kaz smiled, pressing his forehead against hers. “You’re worth the fear,” he whispered. “Every bit of it.”

They kept kissing, their movements becoming more urgent and filled with desire. As they shifted to stay more comfortable on the couch, Y/n wrapped her legs around Kaz's waist, pulling him closer. “I want you, Kaz, now,” she breathed against his lips.

Kaz grinned, his eyes darkening with need. “Do you want to get started on the kids part?” he teased, his voice low and husky.

Y/n snorted, her laughter blending with her growing arousal. “Before the wedding? No way,” she replied, her hands deftly working to unbutton his pants. Kaz's hands moved up her thighs, lifting her already short dress, exposing more of her to his touch.

Kaz's lips trailed down her neck, planting hot, open-mouthed kisses that made Y/n shiver in anticipation. “Are you sure?” he whispered against her skin, his fingers teasing the edge of her underwear.

“Yes, Kaz,” she moaned softly, her body arching into his touch. “I need you.”

His hands became more insistent, tugging at the fabric of her underwear and pulling it down. Y/n's breath hitched as she felt the cool air against her skin, followed by the warmth of Kaz's hands as he touched her.

Their movements became a blur of passion and urgency. Kaz's pants were discarded, and Y/n's dress was pushed up further, allowing them to press even closer together. Kaz’s hand cupped her face, their eyes locking as he entered her in a single, smooth thrust.

Y/n gasped, her nails digging into his shoulders as she adjusted to the feel of him. Kaz groaned, his forehead resting against hers as they found a slow rhythm, their bodies moving in sync. Every kiss, every touch, was an affirmation of their feelings, a promise of the tomorrows they would share.

“Y/n,” Kaz murmured against her ear, his voice strained with desire. “I love you.” He kept repeating it, over and over, each time underlined with a slow thrust inside of her.

He felt her growing restless under him, her breaths coming faster and her body arching into his. “More, baby, please, faster,” she begged, her voice almost a whimper.

“No,” he said, kissing her forehead gently.

Y/n opened her eyes, frowning slightly. “What do you mean no?”

“No,” he repeated, looking deeply into her eyes. “You deserve so much more, love. All the time in the world. I want to take my time with you, to show you just how much you mean to me.” He brushed a strand of hair away from her face, his touch tender. “I want to kiss every inch of your skin, to make you feel good as you deserve.”

He saw the blush deepen on her cheeks, her usual confident demeanor replaced by a shy vulnerability that made his heart swell. “Are you blushing?” he teased, his voice soft and warm.

“No,” she protested weakly, her lips curving into a shy smile, unable to hide her blush.

Kaz chuckled, leaning in to kiss her softly. “You are, and it’s adorable,” he whispered against her lips. “I love seeing you like this, vulnerable and beautiful.”

He shifted his weight slightly, adjusting their position to make her more comfortable. “I want to hear every sound you make, every gasp and moan. I want to feel you trembling beneath me, knowing that I’m the one making you feel this way.”

Kaz’s hands moved slowly over her body, his touch gentle yet possessive. “I want to memorize the way you look right now, flushed and needy. I want to remember how your eyes light up when you look at me, how your lips part in pleasure.”

He kissed her neck, trailing soft kisses down to her collarbone. “You deserve to be worshiped, Y/n. And that’s what I’m going to do, every single day.”

Y/n’s breath hitched, her hands clutching at his shoulders. “Kaz,” she whispered, her voice filled with emotion.

“Yes, love?” he murmured, his lips brushing against her ear.

“Don’t stop,” she pleaded, her eyes shining with unshed tears.

Kaz smiled, his heart aching with love for her. He could see how she was so used to having sex but not accustomed to being cared for, to being loved. The realization killed him a bit—Y/n, so strong and independent, coming undone because he was showing her tenderness, kindness. He wanted to give her the love and security she had missed out on, to be the person who made her feel safe.

As he held her, Kaz felt a fierce determination to change her perception of intimacy. He wanted her to associate it not just with physical pleasure but with emotional connection, trust, and genuine affection. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Y/n. I’m right here, and I’m never letting you go.”

As their bodies moved together, Kaz continued to whisper sweet words into her ear. “You’re everything to me, Y/n. I want to spend my life making you happy, making you feel loved.”

Y/n’s breath came in short gasps, her body arching into his touch. “Kaz, please,” she moaned, her voice a desperate plea.

Kaz hummed in satisfaction, relishing the control he had. He kept his slow, measured rhythm, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. “Please, love, give me more,” she pleaded between broken breaths.

Kaz increased his pace just enough to keep her on edge, watching how she arched and moved beneath him. “You're a show, love.”

“Just for you,” she replied, her voice trembling with need.

“Come for me, darling. I want to hear you,” he urged, his words guiding her closer to the edge.

Y/n’s breaths grew ragged, her nails digging deeper into his shoulders as the tension built inside her. “Kaz,” she moaned, her body tightening around him.

“That’s it, love,” Kaz whispered, his voice husky. “Let go for me.”

Her release hit her hard, her body trembling and her cries filling the room. Kaz watched her with a mix of awe and adoration, feeling her pleasure echo through him. But he was far from done.

As she came down from her high, he continued to move, his thrusts steady and insistent. “I’m not done with you,” he teased, his lips brushing against her ear.

Y/n shook her head, her breath still coming in gasps. “No, please don’t stop,” she whispered, her hands roaming over his back, pulling him closer.

Kaz kissed her deeply, his tongue exploring her mouth as he increased his pace again. His hands roamed over her body, savoring every inch of her. “I’m going to make you come again,” he promised against her lips.

Y/n’s body responded eagerly, her hips meeting his thrusts with renewed urgency. Each movement was a symphony of passion, their bodies perfectly attuned to one another. As the intensity grew, she gripped his chin, forcing him to look into her eyes, the connection between them deepening.

“Do you like it, Kaz? Being the one in control?” she asked, her voice a sultry whisper, tightening her walls around him. The sensation made him hiss in pleasure, a raw sound escaping his lips.

“Fuck,” he breathed, his control slipping under her influence.

“Answer me,” she demanded, her eyes blazing with desire and challenge.

“Yes, yes I like it,” he admitted, his voice husky with need.

Y/n’s lips curved into a satisfied smile. “How do you want me, love? Tell me,” she coaxed, her hands tracing over his chest, her touch both soothing and electrifying.

Kaz’s breath hitched, his mind racing with the possibilities. “From behind,” he said, his voice firm with decision. “Lean against the cushions of the couch.”

Y/n hummed in approval, a glint of amusement in her eyes. “Someone has been studying,” she commented, her tone teasing but approving. She shifted positions, moving gracefully to comply with his request, her body arching enticingly as she leaned against the cushions.

Kaz watched her, his desire mounting as he took in the sight of her. The way her body curved, the soft light casting shadows that only highlighted her beauty. He moved behind her, his hands sliding over her hips, savoring the warmth of her skin.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her shoulder before positioning himself.

Y/n looked over her shoulder at him, her eyes dark with anticipation. “Then show me, Kaz. Show me how much you want me.”

With a low growl, he entered her again, his movements less deliberate and controlled. He set a rhythm that was both slow and intense, while Y/n’s moans filled the room, a symphony that spurred him on.

His hands roamed over her back, caressing and exploring, each touch a testament to his desire. He leaned forward, his chest pressing against her back, his lips finding the sensitive spot just below her ear.

“I love you,” he whispered, his breath hot against her skin.

“I love you,” she replied, her voice breathless and sincere.

They moved together, the world outside fading away. Their breaths mingled, creating a rhythm that was both frantic and harmonious, the intensity between them growing with each passing second. Kaz’s pace quickened, their bodies moving in perfect synchrony, each thrust a testament to the passion that had built between them.

“More,” Y/n pleaded, her voice a breathless whisper, her body trembling with need.

Kaz responded immediately, increasing his pace, his movements becoming more urgent. His hands gripped her hips with a possessive intensity, each thrust deeper and more demanding. 

In a moment of raw, unrestrained desire, Kaz sank his teeth into her shoulder, the sharp sensation making Y/n scream, a mix of pain and pleasure that sent shivers down her spine. 

“Y/n,” Kaz murmured against her skin, his voice rough with emotion. “You’re everything.”

Her only response was a series of moans and gasps, her body arching to meet his every movement. The room seemed to pulsate with their shared energy, each sound, each breath a testament to their connection.

As their passion increased, Kaz felt himself losing control, his thrusts becoming erratic. He reached down, his fingers finding the sensitive spot that drove Y/n wild, applying just the right amount of pressure to send her over the edge.

“Kaz!” she cried out, her body convulsing around him as she reached her climax, the sensation was intoxicating, but he wanted more. "Another time, love? For me," Kaz whispered in her ear, his voice a mixture of desperation and longing.

Y/n turned to look at him, her eyes glazed and lost in the intensity of their connection. "Really?" she whispered, her voice almost incredulous, as if she couldn’t believe he was asking for more.

"Please," he said against her lips, his breath warm and his tone a desperate plea. His eyes bore into hers, filled with raw emotion and need.

A spark of determination flickered in Y/n's gaze as she took in Kaz's earnest expression. She knew he wasn’t just asking for physical gratification—he was seeking affirmation and reassurance of their connection. "Okay," she whispered back, her voice filled with resolve and deep affection. “Sit down.”

Kaz moved quickly, and Y/n positioned herself on top of him with swift, fluid movements, not giving him time to process what was happening. Her hands gripped his hair harshly, pulling him closer. “Look at me, Kaz,” she ordered, her voice firm but loving.

He opened his eyes, and the sight of her took his breath away. Her makeup was running down her cheeks, black-stained tears tracing paths on her face, and her neck was marked with his bites. She looked raw and beautiful, a vision of passion and intensity.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said in awe, his voice filled with genuine admiration and wonder.

She grinned, maintaining her fast pace, her movements rhythmic and precise, making him struggle to keep up. As she rhythmically squeezed her walls around him, Kaz felt all control slipping away. The sensation was overwhelming, and he found himself talking without fully comprehending his words. “What are you doing to me?” he murmured between moans, his voice a mixture of awe and desperation.

Y/n responded by sucking on his bottom lip, sending him back into a state of pleasurable confusion. Her lips moved from his mouth to his jaw, trailing kisses and harsh bites down his neck, each touch sending shivers through his body. Kaz's hands roamed over her back, gripping her hips tightly as he tried to ground himself in the overwhelming sensations.

“You drive me crazy,” he whispered, his voice strained with desire. “I can’t think straight when I’m with you.”

“Good,” she replied, her voice breathy and filled with satisfaction. “I want you to lose every bit of that control you really like to have.”

Their pace quickened, the intensity of their movements increasing with each passing moment. Y/n’s body moved with a grace and confidence that left Kaz breathless. He watched her, mesmerized by the way she moved, the way she took control, and the way she made him feel.

Kaz felt the pressure building, his climax approaching rapidly. He gripped her hips harder, his fingers digging into her flesh as he tried to hold on a little longer, to savor the moment. “Y/n, I’m so close,” he warned, his voice trembling with anticipation.

She smiled, satisfied, leaning in to speak into his ear, her breath hot against his skin, hell, she probably whispered directly inside his brain. “Fill me up,” she said, her voice a soothing balm to his frayed nerves, but also an irresistible command.

His eyes shot open, the words sending a jolt of electricity through his body. “Fuck,” he muttered, his control slipping away completely as he was overtaken by a series of incoherent rambles and moans.

Her words and the intensity of the moment pushed him over the edge. He held her tightly, his body shaking with the force of his release, each pulse a testament to the raw and unfiltered passion between them.

As the tremors subsided, Kaz’s grip on her softened, his hands sliding up to cradle her back gently. He pressed his forehead against hers, their breaths mingling as they both came down from the high. 

“What was that?” he whispered, his voice hoarse but filled with awe and love.

y/n shrugged, with a proud smile, “You needed to be put back in your place. Too much confidence.”

Kaz chuckled and gently kissed the spot where he had bitten her, his touch tender now, a stark contrast to the ferocity of moments before. 

He insisted on carrying her to bed, despite the protest of his injured leg. Every step was a reminder of his physical limitations, but he couldn’t care less. They made a brief stop in the bathroom, where they cleaned up her smudged make up and their disheveled bodies as much as they could. The intimacy of the moment, the simple act of caring for each other, was grounding after their intense encounter.

Once they reached the bed, Kaz settled her down, and then slid in beside her. Y/n pressed herself against his side, her head resting on his chest, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat a comforting sound. Kaz wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on her back.

The first light of dawn was already creeping through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the room. Kaz kissed her forehead, his lips lingering there as if to imprint the moment into his memory.

“Can I say it now?” he asked, his voice a gentle murmur in the quiet room.

Y/n shifted slightly, looking up at him with tired but content eyes. “Yes.”

“I love you,” he said, his voice filled with all the emotion he had been holding back. It was a confession, a promise, and a plea all wrapped into three simple words.

Y/n’s eyes softened, a small smile curving her lips. She reached up, cupping his cheek in her hand. “I love you,” she replied, her voice hoarse but sincere.

Kaz woke up to the soft glow of morning light filtering through the curtains, casting a warm, golden hue across the room. His eyes slowly adjusted to the sight before him—Y/N lying peacefully beside him, her back exposed as she slept soundly. The sheets were a tangled mess around her legs, barely covering her as she breathed in a slow, steady rhythm. His gaze drifted to the vivid mark on her shoulder, the bite he had left in the heat of the moment. It was a bright red against her skin, a stark reminder of the intensity they had shared. A flicker of guilt passed through him, but it was quickly overshadowed by a sense of possessive pride.

Her hair was a wild messy cloud on the pillow, and Kaz couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and touch it. He twirled a few strands between his fingers, feeling their softness, and thought about how far he had come. There was a time when even this simple act would have sent him into a spiral of panic. But now, here he was, not just touching her but waking up beside her, her presence bringing him a rare sense of peace.

As if sensing his gaze, Y/N stirred in her sleep, shifting slightly to roll onto her back. The movement caused the sheets to slip further, revealing more of her body. His eyes traced the pattern of love marks scattered across her skin—faint bruises where his lips had pressed too hard, red trails from his nails when he lost control, and the deep crimson of that bite. Each mark made him smile with a quiet satisfaction.

He admired her, soaking in every detail. The way her chest rose and fell with each breath, the curve of her waist, the way the early morning light kissed her skin. 

He still couldn’t believe what had happened a few hours earlier, and a small voice in his head told him that maybe for her it was just a drunken mistake. Kaz shook his head, dismissing the thought. He wanted to spend all day in bed, wrapped in the warmth of their newfound connection, but he hadto meet some people for work, and the boss was already mad at him.

Kaz sighed as he forced himself out of bed, feeling the lingering warmth of Y/N’s body fade away as he moved. His muscles protested with every step, especially his leg, which throbbed with a dull ache from the previous activities. The limp was more pronounced than usual, a reminder of the rough passion they had spent together on the couch.

He shuffled into the living room, eyes narrowing as he assessed the state of the couch. The cushions were askew, one of them clearly worse for wear. He tilted his head, studying the ruined cushion. After a moment's consideration, he decided to flip it over and deal with the damage later. There were more pressing matters to attend to, like finding the scattered clothes that lay around the room.

As he bent down to pick up Y/N’s dress, a sharp pain shot through his leg, causing him to groan. What happened between them had been worth every ache and pain he was feeling now, but that didn’t make the discomfort any easier to bear.

Clothes in hand, Kaz made his way to the bathroom, each step reminding him of the price he paid for their rough intimacy. He dropped the clothes on the counter, eyeing himself in the mirror as he reached for the painkillers in the cabinet. He popped two into his mouth, washing them down with water from the shower, the cool liquid a stark contrast to the lingering heat in his body. 

After finishing his shower, Kaz dressed quickly, the painkillers were starting to kick in, easing the worst of the discomfort.

Turning his attention to the mirror, he studied his reflection. The love bites on the side of his neck reclaimed his attention, two vivid marks that stood out against his pale skin. They were evidence of Y/N’s possessiveness, and the sight of them brought a smirk to his lips.

For a brief moment, he considered covering them up, knowing his boss would notice and undoubtedly have something to say. But then he shook his head, dismissing the thought. 

“Screw him,” Kaz muttered under his breath, he was getting tired of working for that idiot anyway, the Dregs wouldn’t survive an afternoon without him and it was time that everybody became well aware of it. He ran a hand over the love bites, feeling a surge of possessive pride. His girlfriend left them. 

His girlfriend. 

The thought made him shake his head with a smile. 

Kaz made his way to the kitchen, his steps still slightly uneven from the lingering ache in his leg. The scent of freshly made coffee began to fill the air.

As he reached into the cabinet, his fingers brushed against the small blister pack of birth control pills she had left there, grateful for the justifiable lack of trust she had in the two of them. 

With two steaming mugs in hand, Kaz returned to the bedroom, finding Y/N already stirring, her hand lazily rubbing at her eyes as she tried to shake off the remnants of sleep and hangover. Her hair was a wild mess as she tried to comb them with her fingers.

“Morning,” he greeted her, his voice low and steady as he sat on her side of the bed. He placed his coffee on the nightstand, offering her the mug with a small smile.

She looked up at him, her eyes still heavy with sleep but brightening at the sight of him. A slow smile spread across her face, and she reached out to take the mug from his hand. “Breakfast in bed? You’re taking this girlfriend thing seriously,” she teased, her voice playful but tinged with genuine affection.

Kaz let out a breath. Her lighthearted tone was a relief, reassuring him that she wasn’t rethinking everything that had happened between them. He had half-expected her to wake up with second thoughts, to retreat behind walls of her own. But instead, she was here, teasing him, her words hinting at a shared understanding that made his chest tighten in a way he wasn’t entirely used to.

“Can’t risk you changing your mind after just six-ish hours,” Kaz quipped, his voice carrying a teasing edge as a smirk played at the corners of his lips. He handed her the blister pack with a casualness that belied the nervous energy still thrumming under his skin.

Y/N took the pack from him, her fingers brushing his for a moment. She studied it, then looked up at him, her expression suddenly serious, a frown tugging at her brow. “I thought we were having kids.”

Kaz, who had just taken a sip of his coffee, nearly choked at her words. He froze, the mug suspended in mid-air as her statement sunk in, his mind spinning. He had imagined a future with her, sure, but kids? Now? His thoughts raced, trying to reconcile the casual morning banter with the gravity of what she’d just said. It felt like his heart had skipped a beat, then another, as panic set in.

“To quote you,” Y/N continued, her tone perfectly even, “‘I want everything with you, Y/N. The arguments, the messy mornings, the kids, the forever.’ Did you forget already?”

Kaz blinked, his mouth opening and closing as he searched for words, any words, to respond. He remembered saying that, what kind of memory did she have? 

“I... I didn’t—” he stammered, his voice uncharacteristically unsteady.

Y/N’s serious facade cracked, and she burst into laughter, the sound light and teasing as she took the pill with a sip of coffee. “Saints, I’m kidding,” she grinned, watching the tension drain from his face. “Relax, love, you’re sweating more than the guy who does my taxes.”

Kaz let out a breath, his shoulders sagging with relief as he set the coffee mug down on the nightstand. The panic subsided, replaced by embarrassment and the undeniable warmth of being completely disarmed by her. “Not funny,” he muttered, though there was a trace of a smile on his lips.

“Oh, it was a little funny,” Y/N teased, leaning in to nudge him playfully with her shoulder. Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she watched his reaction. “You should’ve seen your face. I didn’t think Kaz Brekker could look that terrified.”

Kaz couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking his head in amusement and lingering disbelief. “You’re going to be the death of me,” he muttered, still trying to shake off the lingering adrenaline from her joke.

She set the cup on the nightstand and moved closer to him, her expression suddenly more serious, though he could see the playful glint still dancing in her eyes. “You know,” she began, her tone shifting to something more thoughtful, “I would have to leave my job if we have a baby.”

That left Kaz completely speechless. He stared at her, his mind racing but unable to form a coherent reply. He’d thought she was done joking, but the way she said it made him question everything. Was she serious? Was this something she’d thought about?

Y/N’s laughter broke the silence again, and she leaned back, shaking her head in disbelief. “Unbelievable,” she said, her laughter infectious. “You’re really considering it. I think we should go back to condoms; I don’t like that look on your face.”

Kaz sighed, rubbing his temples as if trying to ward off the headache he felt coming. “I can’t stand you already,” he groaned, though his voice carried no real irritation—just exasperated affection.

“You’re the one who wanted this,” she shot back with a grin, her voice light and teasing. “I told you to stay away from me.”

Kaz smirked, shaking his head as he pulled her closer, his arm wrapping around her waist. “And yet, here we are,” he murmured, his voice softer now, more sincere. 

“You’re already all dressed up,” she commented. “Plans?”

“I have a work thing I can’t skip, but you can stay here and sleep more if you want. I left you the spare keys on the table.”

“You know I’ll have to go back home sooner or later?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, to pack your things,” Kaz shrugged, trying to sound casual.

Y/n raised a brow, a mix of surprise and amusement in her eyes. “Are we really doing this? Moving in together?”

“Yes,” he replied with a crooked smile.

Y/n tilted her head, studying him. “I don’t want to live in a place where half of the furniture was chosen by your ex.”

“Then find another house,” Kaz said, raising his shoulders, meeting her intense gaze. “I’m not kidding, Y/n. I want this.”

She stared at him for a moment, searching his face for any sign of hesitation. Finding none, she nodded slowly. “I’ll start looking then.”

Kaz leaned in, kissing her softly on the lips. “Good.”

“Do we have time for something quick?” she murmured, her voice laced with playful intent as she grabbed his loose tie, gently tugging him closer. The smirk on her lips was almost irresistible, a clear invitation in her eyes as she pulled him over her.

Kaz’s breath caught in his throat as he hovered above her, his resolve wavering as he looked down at her. “No,” he replied, though his voice lacked its usual conviction, his eyes betraying the internal struggle as they flickered between her lips and his watch.

“Super quick?” she coaxed, her fingers toying with the fabric of his tie, her tone teasing yet full of promise. She arched up slightly, closing the gap between them, making it even harder for him to say no. 

Kaz let out a low groan, his forehead pressing against hers as he fought the pull of her body against the ticking clock in his mind. “You’re making this difficult,” he murmured, his hand sliding down to rest on her hip, feeling the warmth of her skin through the thin fabric of the sheets.

“Good,” she whispered back, her lips brushing against his, her breath warm against his mouth. “I wouldn’t want it to be easy.”

Kaz’s grip on her hip tightened as he tried to keep control of the situation—or at least of himself—but the way she looked up at him, her eyes full of desire, made it nearly impossible. He felt his resolve slipping with every passing second, his mind battling between duty and the undeniable pull of her. “You’re going to get me fired,” he warned, though the words were more of a formality at this point, his body already betraying his intentions as he leaned closer.

Y/N’s lips curled into a wicked smile, her fingers playing with the collar of his shirt. “Oh, tell your boss to shut up and suck it,” she shot back, her tone dripping with playful defiance, “or I’m telling everyone that he cries after he comes.”

Kaz blinked, momentarily thrown off by the unexpected remark. His brain scrambled to process what she’d just said, the absurdity of it clashing with the intense desire he was feeling. “Why?” he groaned, half-exasperated, half-amused. “Why did you have to put that image in my head right now?”

Y/N chuckled, a light, melodic sound that only added to his frustration. “I thought you liked a challenge,” she teased, her hands sliding up to tangle in his hair, pulling him even closer. “Consider it motivation to stay focused. Come on, we don’t have time.”

Kaz shook his head, unable to suppress a smirk despite the ridiculous mental picture she’d just painted. “I don’t know what to do with you,” he muttered, his voice low and rough as he finally gave in, their lips meeting in a heated kiss.

Y/N’s laughter faded into a satisfied hum as she kissed him back, her body arching into his as if to claim victory. “Love me,” she murmured against his lips, her words a sultry whisper that sent a shiver down his spine.

[dystopianmoon]

LDS ML SONG ANALYSIS | IN DEPTH MINI PLAYLIST

I’ll be frank that I haven’t quite yet played LDS. However my friend is absolutely in love with the game. Curiously I invested in learning what’s so enthralling about it. And I can admit I get the appeal now. If there’s one thing I love more than character design and story depth it’s music. After a month of investigating I compiled some really interesting songs from my personal collection I feel suit the male leads. I analyzed all of their lore, the important details, interactions with MC, and yes even the spicy cards to determine which songs lyrically and spiritually worked! Please enjoy if you will. It’ll be lengthy.

Note; I listen to a lot of indie, shoegaze, alt indie, and post punk. this is based on my own taste!

.·:*¨༺ 𝑙𝑜𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑡𝑎 ༻¨*:·.

➺ RAFAYEL

• Oceans ꨄ︎ Seafret

A deep song about distance between two lovers. I felt this ties into the part of them being separated through MC being human and him Lemurian. Bonded for their lives though so different, and even trying to get a magic potion in one life to be with her as a human himself. Very romantic honestly. I love his devotion to be beside her no matter the risk. The line “you know I’d rather drown than to go on without you” is so heavy. this song conveys having to hide their emotions, being separated, and that overwhelming feeling of wanting. Because being apart is so painful.

• Bathed In Grey ꨄ︎ Them & I

This song leaves a pulsing feeling within of appreciation and praises of the women’s existence in his life. I love the specific line “and her beacon, cements my place” considering he teaches her how to use a Lemurian Beacon. and then the lines “you taught me how to wade, this monochrome sea, that swallows me” I think it really gives you a vision of him alone without her in his space yet thankful of her existence in his life. I think MC really balances Rafayel and his vengeance against humans (obviously for destroying his people) later on in their connection.

• Words ꨄ︎ Gregory Alan Isakov

A very slow and steady song. It evokes a sort of jealousy within me of how in love he is with his partner. Writing her a lovely letter and asking her “did you ever notice the way light means more than it ever did all day long?” it’s just such a beautifully simple question really. Something I could see him asking. Another line I personally favor is “and I wish I could leave my bones and skin, and float over the tired tired sea so that I could see you again”

• Need It ꨄ︎ Half Moon Run

!! With Raf I imagine he’s a very intimate partner but still so artistic. I can’t imagine him having some exotic and nasty playlist, but something quite slow. He would dance with his partner humming against their forehead. Kissing them tenderly while drawing invisible sigils of his affections over every inch of skin. Whispering like a poet how grateful he is to be beside you, to be one with you. Even in your intimate endeavors he would cradle you gently but with obvious haste in his actions. I think his eyes would be most intense in these times. This song is simply so lovely down to the guitar and steady pacing of drums. The whole thing is quotable.

• Darkness ꨄ︎ Sweet Spine

So this song is more for the angst. I imagine a version of him where if he was suffering without MC and in a state of maybe anger, frustration, longing, and anxiety while painting he’d listen to this song. I love the lyrics “you tame the darkness, you beg the goddess” and “I can hardly breathe, I can hardly sleep without you, talking in my dreams” I think Rafayel would suffer so harshly. Every artist needs his muse, without it they become lost.

➺ XAVIER

• Moondust ꨄ︎ James Young

Where do I even start with this cause the lyrics just EMBODY this man. The lyrics “I’m building this house on the moon, like a lost astronaut, looking at you like a star, from the place the world forgot, and there’s nothing I can do” as an opener just tore me right open. Considering how he is the crowned prince of Philos, but it as a planet needing to sacrifice MC to keep it alive. Truly there is nothing he could do. Even though she reincarnates it’s just so sad. I love the recent reveal of him willing to sacrifice himself as well. A beautiful touch for his character.

• Monsoon ꨄ︎ Hippo Campus

This song is said by the writers to be about the death of a family member (for this instance it’s romantic), and the surprising lack of grief that was replaced by joy of the life that had been lived. Monsoons are seasonal change in the direction of the prevailing, or strongest, winds of a region. Monsoons can be of heavy rains too. Which I think is a lovely way of describing that “grief” I imagine Xavier definitely parted from MC with prevailing hope of reuniting again and knowing he would wait endlessly for her. The lyric “it should have been me” I interpret it also coming from his prospective of wanting to be the sacrifice instead.

• Yellow Love ꨄ︎ Citizen

This song is lovely down to every word. It conveys a powerful and passionate love, expressed through the symbolism of the color yellow. It explores themes of longing, transformative nature of love, and commitment. I love the lyric, “all I feel is celestial desire, a distant joy is dancing all around me” Xavier seems the type to heavily miss MC to his core, aching without her. Like a lost puppy he would wait for her return. That’s his partner through it all. Half of his whole.

• Too Good ꨄ︎ Troye Sivan

!! NASTY. FREAKY. SOUL SNATCHING. I am unfortunately unable to see this man as anything other than a straight up divine worshiper and freak for MC sexually. yeah…yeah I saw his cards. The way my jaw dropped from the audacity. This song needs no explanation it’s all in the lyrics. I mean if your skin wasn’t blazing alone from the song just pair it with his cards and you’ve got a levitating combination.

• Is It Really You ꨄ︎ Loathe

I can’t describe how much I just LOVE this song. When I heard it recently I thought this is perfect for him! For Xavier’s angst I imagine him laying somewhere in a field or rooftop allowing himself to drift. And as the song says, “let’s search the sky for a while, you and I, collide like two stars for a while” I think maybe he’d sing it with a bitterly sweet smile towards the sky imagining MC listening to him. maybe even when she’s near he’s humming it like a lullaby.

➺ SYLUS

• NFWMB ꨄ︎ Hozier

So given the lore of Sylus being a dragon being revealed I feel this song suited him so well. It opens with “when I first saw you the end was soon” to which I can recall the scene of them in his cave. Entangled together as she is tasked to end him but he questions her quite intimately I’d say with their proximity. Later on the two reunite as he is the leader of the N109 zone and her apart of the association. I like to imagine him saying the lines “give your heart and soul to charity (the association), cause the rest of you, the best of you, honey belongs to me” as well as “nothing fucks with my baby, nothing can get a look in on my baby” when her life is put into question. Though she could be a threat Sylus seems to allow her curiosity, protection, and connection. I find his subtle enthrallment of her adorable. live for him calling her SWEETIE right off the bat. Essentially MC really is his.

• Truly ꨄ︎ Cigarettes After Sex

This song is slowly paced though it has more promiscuous undertones I would reimagine it more so as Sylus reminding MC he is okay with anything with her, and not even afraid to go there. I see them with this untouchable bubble of possession, curiosity, desire, and attachment to each other. The chemistry always heavy and heart knocking. Something about their air truly is unmistakable and this song throws that out from the prospective of the male. I love the line “said you wear a new perfume for each city that you visit, so that you can remember how it felt to be there, and your lips are red and all the pictures that you send wearing white and black” it makes me think of when MC attends the gathering for the protocore business. How she was slightly nervous at first. But also how Sylus would likely pay attention to the little details. Like her lipstick that night or the outfit for the association (black and white) he’d see in her photos.

• The Yawning Grave ꨄ︎ Lord Huron

This is Sylus perfectly placed into a song. From his prospective he would be gloating himself up. The power from within but also around him. It perfectly describes how he would go about warning others that he is not to be trifled with. It’s truly worth every second. My favorite line being “Oh you fool there are rules, I am coming for you, you can run but you cannot escape, darkness brings evil things oh the reckoning begins, you will open the yawning grave” I see this as him warning if provoked he will bring them death without hesitation or remorse. No wonder they are so fearful of him!

• So Damn Into You ꨄ︎ Vlad Holiday

!! Oh my, another one! Listen I had the most fun with his spicy cards. I was frankly blushing and this song rushed to my head. “I was fading into dust, then you grabbed me with your madness, and you woke me up” likely taken in context of the past and present. For me I envision him sensual in all his ways even if not meaning it. However it’s never a bad thing to him when MC is nervous, blushing, and avoiding his eye contact. I think he’d find that intimidation so pleasing. Even better when she’s willing to challenge that energy without fever. I think Sylus would embody that very dominant and commanding lover, but never shy to worship her through every step. Coaxing MC into letting herself slip into him fully. The closing lines of, “it started with a bang, don’t know how you got me so messed up, but baby I won’t ever get enough, cause I’m so damn into you” would be something that really describe their dynamic.

• Entombed ꨄ︎ Deftones

So many angst songs could be used. However- this song is perfect start to finish. This song is quite literally about being undeniably BOUND to someone/something and in love. Several jumps in the lyrics embody their tale of being tied to one another. To start, “from the day you arrived, I’ve remained by your side, in chains” I’d say this is perfect of describing their encounter as a dragon when we circles her with his tail like a chain. And when she entered the N109 the first time how the Evol triggers to their wrists leaving her helplessly his. Next, “on the day you arrived, I became your device, to name and soothe” this id say sums up how MC can call upon him any time, literally hers whenever she is in need of him. But also naming him as the leader of the N109 was a major discovery for her. Lastly for the closing “from the day you arrived, I have stayed by your side, placed inside, safe and sound” I love the way Chino sings this with his chest. I imagine Sylus and his emotions for MC being heavy while watching over her endlessly for her safety and peace. Being apart from you would be a constant nagging reminder for him that he’s unable to itch without you there.

➺ ZAYNE

• Alone With Me ꨄ︎ Vance Joy

So obviously I read up on how these two had been childhood friends. As well as anecdote 2 Zayne who is different, dreaming of them. And I absolutely love the emotions Zayne has for MC, though he seems to hold himself reserved. I imagine he thinks endlessly on his praise for MC. Holding her so tenderly as the thing that pushes him, that he needs, that he can pour himself into. Specifically the lyrics “oh you’re the shape of my days, you’re my holy place, and I know everything’s good, everything’s just as it should be when you’re alone with me” when Zayne really speaks upon his feelings I feel like he’d be a bit shy even though assertive. However admitting to both himself and MC “here we are, I’m doing these things with you I never thought we’d do” and that’s just so beautiful to me.

• Snow ꨄ︎ Jome

I hold this song dear, and it just clicks for Zayne. this song really pulls at your strings as the male sings of his longing of what could have been if he had stayed in the same city. Wishing he never left her and imagining her goodbye. Admitting she has a piece of him and always sees her. I love the lyric “I didn’t mean to let you go, i still see you in the snow” obviously I noticed Zayne being called forseer and having that power regarding snow/ice. I’d like to think he would construct images of MC in his palm as he did for her with the snow seal! This song pictures that worry of separation between two lovers. It’s good.

• You & I ꨄ︎ Rhodes

This one is powerful and truthfully I cry to this one here and there. This song is about yearning for a past love. And like the other boys I feel like Zayne probably steps into this the heaviest. Consider the connection I read for them I truly felt my heart tug in sadness for them. This song is perfect, with the lines, “is it still you and I forever? Whether you like it or you don’t, sometimes we live alone, if we can find a little hope, we can make it on our own” and that just stabs you good in the feels. I’ll let you listen to the rest yourself.

• Paradise ꨄ︎ Henry Morris

!! I don’t have much I could say, but damn. Zayne is that perfect balance of patient yet so intense. Yes I would want a paradise with him. His spice cards leaves you craving more each time. That feeling of wanting to be pulled in became overwhelming: this song captures that. I love his gentle touches and praises of recognition. How he’s concerned if she’s slept, if she’s eaten, has she been hurt? The urgency always in his eyes and voice. It really makes your brain wonder. I love love the lyric, “help me cure your sickness,I’m the last one left if you need a witness, on your bedside stand, I’m a big commitment, are you sure you’re alright?” cause it makes me remind myself he’s a doctor and really can hold you down in the heat of it all and then be there till the end if you let him. Gently of course.

• Avalon ꨄ︎ Zeruel

So for Zayne it’s hard for me to place his angst. Cause I do see him as if he’d push through but in those moments of intensive disassociation maybe he’d let himself wonder to your memories. And replay it while questioning him and you. Could he change it all? Why did it have to be that way? Would you always be there? Sighing into his hands frustratedly. I think the lyrics, “is this love I don’t know, could you entrust me your soul, as we fight fire with sound I ask, could you stay for a while” perfect. His character is hard to decipher feelings wise and I assume he has that inner battle but in the end- he does love MC.

⋘ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ ⋙

I actually might considering playing this game after discovering so much about them. Personally Rafayel and Zayne really got me hooked. I’m Sapphic so this discovery of interest was EXTREMELY eye opening to my flavor. Let me know who you personally enjoy in the game!

[musicforastylesrestaurant]

Saccharine Recoveries.

my masterlist || ask me anything <3

series masterlist.

authors note - a part two was highly requested, so here you all go! not going to lie to you all, i’m not the happiest with how this turned out, but writers block is a total bitch. i’m sorry if it doesn’t live up to your standards. 🫶

word count - 7.9k

in which, after being in a medically induced coma for the past four days, your eyes are finally open, just when your husband thinks that everything is rosie, trials and tribulations occur once again making the processes of your recovery ten times harder, but he’s optimistic and always looks on the bright side , even when that all comes crashing down.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Recovery Day One. — 15th August, 2022.

19:03pm.

“(Y/N)?” Harry spoke in a hushed whisper as you tried to smile at him.

The sensation of the tube in your throat was uncomfortable, a reminder of the ordeal you had endured. You instinctively reached for your voice, your lips parting to form words, but the effects of the coma lingered, rendering your efforts into silence.

A group of doctors entered the room, and your heart skipped a beat as they approached your bed. Dr. Parker, his eyes kind and understanding, stepped forward.

"Hello, Mrs. Styles," he greeted you with a gentle smile. "I'm glad to see you awake."

Your gaze shifted to Harry and Alfie, their expressions a mix of hope and concern. Your fingers trembled slightly as you lifted your hand, pointing toward them. A stray tear slid down the side of your face, its path traced by a mixture of emotions – relief, gratitude, and the unspoken words that your voice couldn't yet express.

Dr. Parker followed your gesture, his gaze softening as he understood. "Harry and Alfie are right here with you. They've been waiting for you to wake up."

Your lips curved into a faint smile, your eyes locking onto Harry's and then Alfie's. Your heart seemed to speak for you, conveying the depth of your emotions and the overwhelming love that surged within you. Your hand trembled slightly as it remained pointed toward them, the tear on your cheek a testament to the profound connection that held your family together.

Dr. Parker's voice carried a note of reassurance. "It's okay, Mrs. Styles. Take your time. Your body is still recovering from the coma, and your voice will return when it's ready."

As Dr. Parker finished his conversation with you, his gaze turned gentle and concerned. "Are you experiencing any pain, Mrs. Styles?"

You managed to summon the energy to nod your head slightly, a subtle indication that discomfort still lingered. The faintest flicker of concern crossed Harry's features as he watched your response.

"Where are you feeling the pain?" Dr. Parker's voice was soothing, his attention focused solely on your well-being.

Harry's grip on your hand tightened, his gaze fixated on you. "M’love, where does it ‘urt?"

You shifted slightly, your gaze fixed on Dr. Parker. Weakly, you managed to lift your hand and gesture toward your chest and ribs, the source of your discomfort.

Dr. Parker's expression turned thoughtful, and he nodded. "Thank you for letting me know. I'll make sure you receive the appropriate pain relief."

With a gentle smile, he turned to leave the room, leaving you and your two boys alone once again. Harry's eyes never left your face, his concern palpable.

"Darlin’, are y’okay?" Harry's voice was laced with worry, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand.

You managed a weak smile, your gaze never leaving his. The silent exchange between you carried a wealth of emotions, unspoken words of comfort and reassurance.

Dr. Parker returned with a nurse who began administering the prescribed pain relief. As the nurse worked, Dr. Parker approached your bedside once again.

"We'll make sure you're as comfortable as possible," Dr. Parker assured you. "Your body has been through a lot, and it's important that you're not in pain."

Harry's voice was a mixture of gratitude and concern. "Thank you, Doc."

Dr. Parker nodded, his attention shifting to you. "Rest is crucial for your recovery. If you need anything, don't hesitate to let us know."

As the nurse finished administering the pain relief, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. The tension in your body began to ease, and you gave Harry a small smile – a silent acknowledgment of his unwavering presence by your side.

"We'll be here with you, love," Harry's voice was filled with determination. "Every step of the way."

And as Dr. Parker and the nurse left the room, you found comfort in the knowledge that your journey to healing was not one you had to travel alone.

The doctors then turned their attention to the monitors, checking your vitals and heart rate. Their movements were methodical and practised, their focus on ensuring your well-being.

Satisfied with their assessments, Dr. Parker looked at you with a reassuring smile. "Your vitals are looking stable, (Y/N). Your body is responding well."

You managed a weak smile, your voice still struggling to find its strength.

"We're going to give you a moment with your family now," Dr. Parker continued, his tone considerate. "Harry and Alfie are here with you."

As the doctors began to step away, Harry's presence came into view. His eyes were fixed on you, a mixture of relief and emotion evident in his gaze. Alfie stood beside him, his expression a mix of curiosity and concern.

" ‘ey, m’sun," Harry's voice was a soft, soothing balm. "How are’y’feeling?"

You managed a faint smile, your fingers reaching out to Harry's hand. It was a small gesture, but it spoke volumes – a silent reassurance of your connection.

Alfie shuffled closer, his eyes wide with wonder. "Mummy?"

You offered Alfie a tender smile, your hand extending toward him. Your fingers lightly brushed against his, a gentle touch that conveyed your love and presence.

Harry's voice was a mixture of encouragement and understanding. "Y’safe now, (Y/N). We're all here with ya’.”

As the doctors left the room, the atmosphere settled into a quieter, more intimate calm. The warmth of Harry's hand in yours was a constant reassurance, a lifeline that tethered you to the present.

Harry's eyes, filled with a mixture of love and concern, never left your face. His voice, gentle and soothing, filled the silence. "Y’been asleep f’a lil’while, m’love. There's some catching up t’do."

Your gaze locked onto his, a flicker of anticipation in your eyes.

"M’postponed the American leg ‘f the tour," Harry began, his voice carrying the weight of the decision. "It jus’didn't feel right being on t’road without ya’."

The news hit you like a shockwave, and your eyes widened in disbelief. A tremor ran through your body, and you started to shake your head, your voice struggling to find its strength.

Harry reached for your hand, his touch grounding you. "M’know it's a lot, m’sun, but it was necessary. Our family comes first."

You searched his eyes, finding reassurance in the depth of his gaze. The unspoken promise of unity and support between you was unwavering.

Harry continued, his voice soft and filled with emotion. "M’mum flew over as soon as she heard. She wanted t’be here f’us, for Alfie. And Gem, she's flying out soon too. We're all in this together."

A sense of gratitude swelled within you, knowing that your family was rallying around you during this challenging time. The bond you shared with Harry and the love you held for your son were at the heart of it all.

As the conversation with Harry continued, Alfie, who had been sitting patiently by his father's side, leaned in and whispered something into Harry's ear. The words were hushed and filled with earnestness.

"Can I go and sit next to mummy?"

Harry's eyes softened with understanding as he glanced at his son. He nodded, a tender smile playing at the corners of his lips. " ‘f course, buddy."

With gentle hands, Harry lifted Alfie from his spot by his side and carefully placed him on the bed beside you. Alfie's little frame nestled against your side, and he instinctively shifted closer, seeking the comfort of your presence.

Your heart swelled with emotion as you felt Alfie's warmth against your body. The tenderness in his touch and the trust in his eyes were a testament to the special bond you shared. It was a moment of quiet connection, and even though you lacked the energy to cuddle him back, the love that flowed between you was palpable.

Harry watched the two of you with a soft smile, his heart undoubtedly touched by the sight of his son seeking solace in the arms of his recovering mother. It was a moment of unity, a reaffirmation of the strength of your family's bond.

19:30pm.

In the quiet stillness of the hospital room, Harry leaned in, his lips poised to share a deeply personal revelation. The weight of the secret he held had been on his shoulders for too long, and he was determined to share it with you. His eyes, full of anticipation and love, met yours.

Just as the words were about to leave his lips, the door to the room opened, and the nurse, entered with gentle steps, entered at precisely seven-thirty. Her presence was unobtrusive, and her warm smile radiated compassion as she approached your bedside.

You greeted her with a subtle nod, your curiosity piqued by her arrival. Harry, ever the vigilant protector, looked up from his tender embrace of Alfie, his concern mirrored in his eyes.

"Good evening, Mrs. Styles," the nurse greeted you softly, her voice a soothing balm to the quiet room. "It's usually dinner time now, but given your recent awakening from the coma, we need to proceed cautiously with your diet for the time being."

Your gaze remained focused on her, a silent invitation for her to continue. Harry, still cradling Alfie with the care of a seasoned parent, nodded in acknowledgment, his concern for your well-being unwavering.

The nurse, her eyes kind and reassuring, continued to explain, "Your digestive system may need some time to regain its strength after the period of inactivity. Therefore, we've decided to provide you with a special formula through your IV. This way, we can ensure that you're receiving the right nutrients and proper hydration."

Harry's response was immediate, his voice laced with gratitude and trust. "Whatevers best f’her, Nurse. We want t’make sure she's getting ‘hat she needs."

You managed a faint but appreciative smile, your eyes conveying the depth of your gratitude for their unwavering support and care. Despite your current inability to speak, the silent bond between you and your family spoke volumes.

The nurse proceeded with her preparations, her skilled hands deftly checking the IV line to ensure its proper function. Throughout the process, Alfie remained fast asleep in Harry's embrace, his peaceful slumber a testament to the exhausting day he had experienced.

With her preparations complete, the nurse offered one final reassurance. "We will be closely monitoring your progress, (Y/N). This is just a temporary measure to aid in your recovery."

The nurse had just left the room, her instructions regarding the specialised IV and dietary changes echoing in the air. Harry, sensing the moment was right, leaned in closer, his eyes filled with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. Alfie was securely cradled in his arms as he gently took your hands, his gaze never leaving yours.

With a soft, reassuring smile, Harry spoke the words you had both longed to hear. "Y’pregnant, m’sun."

You reacted with a swift, adamant shake of your head, your eyes wide with disbelief. The shock and confusion etched across your face were undeniable.

But Harry, determined to share this moment with you, leaned forward, ensuring that Alfie remained comfortably nestled in his embrace. He spoke with a tender reassurance, his voice a soothing balm amidst the swirling emotions.

"Yes, y’are," Harry affirmed, his voice steady and filled with unwavering love. "T’doctors said y’thirteen weeks along, ‘n’everything's fine, m’love. T’baby is fine."

Overwhelmed by the weight of this revelation, tears welled up in your eyes. Emotions surged within you, a mixture of astonishment, vulnerability, and joy. The reality of the situation began to set in, and you couldn't contain the flood of tears that followed.

With Alfie nestled between you both, Harry's comforting presence and the assurance that your family was growing filled the room with an overwhelming sense of love and unity.

Harry continued to hold you close, his soothing words offering comfort amidst your tears. "We're in this together, (Y/N). You, me, Alfie, ‘n’our little one on t’way. We’ll face everything together, just like we always do."

20:07pm.

As the evening hours continued to pass, the time for Harry and Alfie to leave the hospital room drew near. Harry turned to you, his eyes filled with both longing and a sense of duty.

"Alf’s goin’ school in the morning," he explained gently, his voice soft and reassuring. "But I'll be back straight after I've dropped him off, alright?"

You nodded your head in understanding, your silent agreement filled with trust and love. Leaning in closer, you pressed a gentle kiss to Alfie's head, your lips conveying all the warmth and affection you felt for your precious son.

Harry's heart swelled with love as he watched you share that tender moment with Alfie, a silent promise of your presence and love even in his absence.

Turning his attention back to you, Harry then leaned in to press a loving kiss to your lips, a feeling that both of you had missed dearly during this challenging time. The warmth of your kiss was a poignant reminder of the deep connection you shared, a source of strength that would carry you through the days ahead.

With one last loving glance, Harry and Alfie left the room, the door closing softly behind them.

As the door gently closed behind Harry and Alfie, you found yourself alone in the dimly lit hospital room. The silence of the space enveloped you, broken only by the soft hum of medical equipment. It was in this solitary moment that you finally allowed yourself to embrace the vulnerability that had been suppressed for too long.

With one hand instinctively resting on your stomach, you pulled the hospital blanket closer to your body with the other. Its warmth and softness provided a semblance of comfort in the stark, clinical environment.

Tears welled up in your eyes, and, without hesitation, they began to flow. They traced a path down your cheeks, unburdening the emotions that had been building within you. These tears were not borne of despair but were simply a release, an acknowledgment of the pain and uncertainty you had endured.

Your ribs ached with each breath, serving as a constant reminder of the accident, and your throat still bore the discomfort of the breathing tube that had sustained you during your coma. The physical pain mirrored the emotional turmoil that had gripped you since that fateful day.

As you allowed yourself to cry, the hospital room witnessed the rawness of your feelings. The tears, like a cleansing rain, carried away the weight of your journey, drop by drop. In their silent descent, you found a sense of relief, a moment to acknowledge your strength in facing adversity and to grieve for the challenges you had encountered.

Recovery Day Two. — 16th August, 2022.

08:31am.

The new morning painted the world with a sense of hope and renewal. Harry and Alfie, hand in hand, approached the grand entrance of Alfie's primary school. The sun's gentle rays played through the leaves of towering trees, casting intricate patterns on the path they trod.

Alfie's backpack, on his petite frame, appeared comically oversized, an emblem of his premature birth three months prior. It slung over his shoulders, almost grazing the ground with its weight. Yet, it was a symbol of his resilience, a testament to his eagerness to embrace this new day.

Harry, looking down at his son and offered a warm, reassuring smile.

"Y’going t’do great today, Alf," he encouraged, his voice infused with love and unwavering support. He couldn't help but marvel at the little boy who had already faced so much in his young life.

Alfie, his tiny hand holding on to his father's with a mixture of trust and nervousness, clung to the familiarity of his touch. The weight of his backpack seemed nothing compared to the emotional burden he carried on his first day back at school since you had been hospitalised.

"I'm scared, Daddy," Alfie finally admitted, his voice barely more than a whisper. The uncertainty of returning to school after an extended absence weighed heavily on his young heart.

Harry knelt down, coming to eye level with his son, his eyes mirroring Alfie's with a gentle understanding.

"S’okay t’feel scared, buddy," he assured, his words carrying the reassurance of a father's love. "But remember, y’not alone. Y’friends ‘n’teachers are here f’you, ‘n’Mommy will be so proud ‘f y’when she hears ‘bout y’first day back."

Alfie nodded, a glimmer of determination shining through his eyes. With a deep, steadying breath, he took that brave step through the school gates.

As they approached the classroom door, Mrs. Lucas stood outside, offering warm greetings to the arriving students and parents. Alfie's steps grew slower, and his grip on Harry's hand became hesitant. Mrs. Lucas, with a kind smile, extended her welcome to them.

"Good morning, Alfie," she greeted with genuine warmth. "It's so good to have you back."

But when those words reached Alfie's ears, his steps came to an abrupt halt. He turned to his father, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The plea in his gaze was clear – he needed to be picked up.

Harry tilted his head in concern as he knelt down to Alfie's level. Without hesitation, he gently lifted his son into his arms, Alfie clutching him tightly. Tears began to flow down Alfie's cheeks as he buried his face in Harry's shoulder.

With genuine worry, Harry asked,

"S’wrong, buddy?" His voice was soft, a comforting presence in this moment of turmoil.

Alfie, his voice quivering with emotion, didn't immediately respond. He simply continued to cry, his tiny frame trembling in his father's embrace.

With Alfie still nestled in his arms, Harry tried once more to coax words from his son.

Amidst the sympathetic gazes of the other parents, Alfie's tears continued to stream down his cheeks, his sobs growing more intense with each passing moment. Harry's heart ached as he held his son close, longing to soothe the pain that had gripped the young boy's heart.

"S’wrong, Alfie?" Harry asked once more, his voice tender and filled with empathy. He knew that Alfie needed to express his feelings, to release the emotions that had built up during the time when his mother was in the hospital.

Alfie hiccupped, struggling to find his words through his tears. Finally, in a soft, quivering voice, he managed to convey his deep longing, "I don't want to go to school... I want Mommy."

Harry's heart felt like it had shattered into a million pieces as he held his son tighter. He understood Alfie's pain all too well, and he wished he could make it all better. In that moment, he felt the weight of your absence more than ever.

Harry held Alfie close, his arms wrapped around his trembling son as they stood outside the classroom door. Alfie's tears still glistened in his eyes, and his grip on his father remained firm.

In a soft, soothing voice, Harry began to speak. "Y’know, Alfie, t’second I pick y’up after school, we can go’n’see Mommy. But right now, it's important f’y’t’go t’school’n’learn all sorts of new things."

Alfie's response was a shaky, tearful shake of his head. He reached up to play with the soft peach fuzz at the back of his father's neck, a comforting gesture that harkened back to his baby days.

Harry, understanding the depth of his son's reluctance, tried a different approach. "Y’remember y’best friend Casey, right? Well, he's in y’class already’n’his daddy texted me last night sayin’ that Casey really missed ya’ Do y’think y’could go in’n’see him today?"

Alfie considered this for a moment, his watery eyes reflecting the uncertainty he felt. Eventually, he nodded his head, a small but significant step toward the classroom.

Harry gently wiped away the tears under Alfie's eyes, his heart full of love and pride for his brave little boy. He leaned down and pressed a tender kiss to Alfie's forehead, their foreheads touching briefly.

"I love you, Alfie," Harry whispered.

"I love you too, Daddy," Alfie replied, his voice filled with trust and affection. With that final exchange of words, Harry lowered his son down to the floor.

Watching Alfie take those uncertain steps toward the classroom, Harry couldn't help but feel a swell of pride for his brave boy.

After Alfie had taken those hesitant steps into the classroom, Harry turned his attention to Mrs. Lucas, his expression a mixture of concern and determination. He approached her with a polite smile, trying to maintain a sense of normalcy.

"Mrs. Lucas," he began, his voice soft and earnest, "I just wanted t’let y’know that if, at any point during the day, Alfie starts getting upset or, well, anything happens, please don't hesitate t’give me a call."

Mrs. Lucas regarded him with a curious yet understanding gaze, her concern evident. She knew that something had been amiss, but she also respected Harry's discretion.

“Of course, Harry," she replied kindly. "I'll keep an eye on him and be sure to reach out if he needs you."

Harry nodded, a sense of relief washing over him. He appreciated Mrs. Lucas's willingness to support Alfie during this challenging time. However, when she inquired further, her voice gentle, about what had happened, Harry hesitated.

"I'd rather not discuss it," he said quietly, his gaze momentarily distant. "Just, please, call me if Alfie gets upset. That's all I ask."

Mrs. Lucas nodded in understanding, recognizing the importance of respecting their privacy. She gave Harry an understanding smile, appreciating the depth of his concern for Alfie's well-being.

"Of course, Mr. Styles," she reassured him once more. "We'll take good care of Alfie here."

With that, Harry offered his gratitude with a nod and turned to leave the school, knowing that, despite the challenges ahead, Alfie was in capable and caring hands.

09:00am.

The room was bathed in the gentle morning light as the clock on the wall struck nine. It marked the beginning of another day in the hospital, a new chapter in your journey towards recovery.

A soft knock at the door signalled the arrival of a specialist, a man named James. His presence was a breath of fresh air, a beacon of hope in the sterile environment of the hospital room. With a warm smile, he approached your bedside, his eyes filled with empathy and reassurance.

"Good morning," he greeted, his voice carrying the calm confidence of someone experienced in helping patients on their path to recovery. "I'm James, and I'm a speech therapist. How are you feeling today?"

You nodded in response, your eyes locked onto James, eager to hear his guidance and reassured by his professional demeanour.

James continued, his words measured and encouraging. "I want you to know that since your coma was relatively short, only three days, your speech should recover quite well. It might take some time and effort, but we'll work together to help you regain your full communication abilities."

James gently pulled his briefcase onto the bed, a sense of purpose in his movements. From it, he carefully extracted a pack of flashcards, each adorned with colorful images. He placed them on a small table beside the bed, arranging them neatly.

With a kind and encouraging tone, James explained the exercise ahead.

"We're going to start with something simple," he said, his voice soothing. "I'll show you some pictures, and I'd like you to try and name what's on each of them."

As he revealed the first flashcard, you looked at the image, your eyes focused. A glimmer of determination flickered in your gaze as you attempted to find the words within you. You opened your mouth, trying to conjure the sounds, but it was a formidable challenge.

The effort required to speak felt overwhelming, and a wave of frustration washed over you. Your body seemed to slump into the bed behind you, the weight of the task pulling you down.

James observed your struggle with empathy, recognizing the immense effort you were putting into this seemingly simple task.

Seeing your struggle and the evident frustration it brought, James reached for a glass and a jug of water from the bedside table. With careful movements, he filled the glass, and then he placed a straw inside it.

"Let's take a little break," he suggested kindly, offering you the glass. "Having some water will help keep your vocal cords hydrated, which can make speaking a bit easier."

He held the glass to your lips, allowing you to sip the cool water through the straw at your own pace. It was a small but essential gesture, a reminder that the journey towards recovery was a series of steps, each one significant in its own way.

James sat on the edge of the bed, his presence calm and reassuring. He held up the flashcards once more, looking at you with encouragement in his eyes.

"Would you like to try again?" he asked gently.

You hesitated for a moment, the memory of your previous attempt still fresh. But deep down, the determination burned, and you nodded your head, a sign that you were willing to give it another shot.

Taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself for the task at hand. As you looked at the first flashcard, your lips parted, and you began to speak. However, the words that emerged were not the smooth, effortless ones you once knew. Instead, they came out in stutters and hesitations, like a rusty engine struggling to turn over.

"Th-th-that's... a b-b...bird," you managed, your voice breaking into a series of stutters.

James listened attentively, his expression unwavering.

James, ever patient and understanding, held up another flashcard, maintaining his reassuring presence. He had seen your determination and knew that progress was often marked by small, steady steps.

You looked at the new image on the flashcard, gathering your resolve once again. The previous stuttering attempt had not deterred you. With a deep breath and a sense of focus, you tried again.

"That's a... c-c-cat," you stammered, your voice still marked by hesitations and stutters.

James nodded approvingly, acknowledging your effort with a warm smile. Each word, no matter how challenging, was a testament to your resilience and determination.

James lifted another flashcard, his calm demeanor providing a reassuring backdrop for your efforts. He understood the significance of these small steps on your path to recovery and was there to support you every step of the way.

You focused on the new image before you, taking a moment to gather your thoughts. With a deep breath, you began to speak once more, your voice still marked by stutters and hesitations.

"That's a... d-d...dog," you managed, your determination shining through despite the challenges.

James nodded encouragingly, his smile warm and appreciative.

James, the dedicated speech therapist, held up a total of ten flashcards, one after the other. Each image presented a new challenge, a test of your ability to express yourself despite the obstacles in your path.

With unwavering patience, you faced each card, taking a deep breath before speaking. Your words, though marked by stutters and hesitations, emerged with determination and clarity. Ten times, you summoned the strength to name each object before you, each success a hard-earned victory in your journey to reclaim your voice.

James observed your progress with a sense of satisfaction, recognizing the strides you had made. He wore a gentle smile as he leaned in slightly, his voice filled with encouragement.

"Now, I'd like to take it a step further," he began, his tone still reassuring. "I'd like you to try speaking a few sentences. I believe you can do it."

You nodded your head, your confidence bolstered by the progress you had made with the flashcards. This felt like a significant step forward.

James handed you a piece of paper with several phrases on it. The sentences gradually grew longer, each one challenging you a bit more. It was a carefully crafted exercise to help you regain your ability to construct sentences and express yourself more fully.

He looked at you, offering his support.

"Whenever you're ready," he said, ready to listen and guide you through this next phase of your recovery.

The phrases on the page seemed like stepping stones on your path to recovery.

You looked at the first sentence, its simplicity contrasting with the complexity of your journey.

With a deep breath, you began to read it aloud, your voice still carrying the echoes of your previous stuttering attempts.

"I... like... to... pick... flowers," you managed, your voice steadier than before.

James nodded approvingly, his eyes filled with encouragement. The progress you had made in the short time you had been working together was remarkable.

He pointed to the next sentence, which was longer and more challenging.

"Take your time," he encouraged, ready to offer guidance if needed.

James, encouraged by your progress, nodded and presented another sentence. This time, the sentence was a bit longer, intended to further challenge your speaking abilities.

"Let's try this one," he said with a supportive smile, handing you the piece of paper. "Take your time, and whenever you're ready, go ahead and read it aloud."

You accepted the paper, your determination shining in your eyes. With a deep breath, you focused on the sentence before you, prepared to tackle this new challenge head-on.

“Exploring... new... horizons... broadens... our... perspectives.” you said, your words coming out with more fluency than before.

James nodded, his smile growing wider with pride.

"That was wonderful," he praised. "Your progress is truly remarkable."

He pointed to the next sentence on the page, which was even longer, yet he had full confidence that you were up to the challenge.

"Whenever you're ready," he encouraged, providing you with the space and support you needed to continue improving your speech.

James, the dedicated speech therapist, observed your readiness for the next challenge. With a supportive smile, he handed you the paper with the new sentence.

"Let's work on this one," he suggested kindly. "Remember to take your time and speak at your own pace."

You accepted the paper, your determination unwavering. You focused on the sentence, recognizing that it was longer than the previous ones but confident in your ability to meet the challenge.

With a deep breath, you began to speak, your voice gaining strength and fluency with each word. James watched, filled with pride at your progress, ready to offer guidance and support whenever you needed it.

As you finished reading the longer sentence, James couldn't contain his excitement. He clapped his hands together, the sound echoing with a sense of accomplishment. You looked up at him, tilting your head inquisitively.

With a beaming smile, James leaned in closer to you and spoke with genuine enthusiasm. "Your stutter has gone, and you're saying the sentences in full!"

Your eyes widened with joy and realisation. It was a moment of triumph, a sign that your journey to reclaim your voice was progressing even better than you had hoped. Your excitement bubbled over, and James, equally thrilled, wrapped you in a quick but heartfelt hug. It was a gesture of celebration and encouragement, a recognition of the significant strides you had made in your speech therapy.

With a warm smile, James expressed his delight at your progress. "I'm going to go inform the nurses at the station about your incredible improvement," he said. "And I'll be back in a few days to check up on you."

He then couldn't resist adding a lighthearted touch to the conversation. "You know," he chuckled, "when your husband comes into the room, you can surprise him with your newfound voice. I'm sure he'll be amazed."

James's positive energy and humor added a sense of camaraderie to your sessions, and you nodded with gratitude for his support. His dedication to your recovery was evident, and you looked forward to the day you could indeed surprise your husband with your progress.

12:07pm.

Around lunchtime, the door to your hospital room gently swung open, and in walked Harry, carrying a bag of Raising Cane's, the scent of delicious fried chicken filling the air. He had a warm smile on his face, relief and affection evident in his eyes as he saw you awake and alert.

He carefully placed the bag of food on the tray table, positioned at the edge of the bed, ensuring it was within your reach. Then, his eyes fixed on you, he leaned forward, closing the distance between you and placed a tender kiss on your lips. It was a kiss filled with love and longing, a silent expression of how much he had missed you during your recovery.

As he pulled away, he gazed into your eyes, his voice soft and filled with emotion.

"I brought y’favourite," he said, a hint of excitement in his tone, eager to share this moment with you. The sight of you awake and engaged was a testament to your resilience and strength, something he admired deeply.

Harry turned to refill your glass of water, his heart lighter with the knowledge that you were awake and speaking. As he poured the water, his mind was already occupied with thoughts of the delicious meal he had brought for you.

However, when he heard your voice, a voice he hadn't heard in days, his movements froze. The glass hovered over the pitcher, and his hands trembled ever so slightly. His eyes widened in astonishment as he slowly turned to look at you, a mixture of shock and joy dancing in his gaze.

"I didn't think I was allowed to eat," you said, your voice a little raspy but undeniably yours.

Harry's heart soared at the sound of your voice, and his lips curved into a wide, elated smile. He took a few steps closer to your bedside, setting the glass down with a gentle clink. Overwhelmed with emotion, he reached for your hand, his fingers intertwined with yours.

"Y’speakin’," he whispered, his voice filled with awe and relief, as if he had been granted a miracle.

Harry's heart raced as he rushed over to your bedside, his eyes fixed on you in disbelief. Carefully, he sat down on the edge of the bed, his hands trembling slightly as he reached out to pick up your hands. Gently, he brought them close to his face, pressing tender kisses to your wrists as if to confirm that this moment was real.

Tears glistened in his eyes as he looked at you, his voice quivering with emotion.

"Can’t believe it," he murmured, his breath hitching. "V’been ‘ere f’days, prayin’ t’hear y’voice again."

Even though you had been awake for a day, one thing he was craving was the sound of your voice, it was the one thing that made him feel same.

Before the accident, when he would get home from a heavy day full of meetings and executive decisions revolving the tour, he would come home exhausted and collapse onto either the sofa or the bed you shared, wherever you were that night and would lay his head on your lap, your hands running through his hair and your voice lulling him to a slumber with tales of what you did throughout the day, it was as if he was the same age as Alf.

His eyes never left yours, and he continued to place sweet kisses on your skin, each one a testament to the overwhelming relief and love he felt in that moment.

"Y’ave n’idea how much I missed you," he admitted, his voice barely more than a whisper, filled with a mix of gratitude and love.

Harry's fingers gently traced patterns on your palms as he leaned closer, his forehead resting against yours.

"Was so scared," he confessed, his voice cracking with vulnerability. "I couldn't bear the thought of losing you."

He pressed his lips to your forehead, a gentle and reassuring gesture.

"But y’here," he said, his voice steadier now, filled with determination. "And y’speaking, and m’so, so grateful."

Harry couldn't stop himself from leaning in and capturing your lips in a sweet, loving kiss. It was a kiss filled with months of worry, days of longing, and the promise of a future together. In that moment, he held you close, cherishing every second as if it were a precious gift.

As you pulled away from the sweet, lingering kiss, your fingers tenderly brushed under Harry's eyes, wiping away the glistening tear tracks that had formed there. You couldn't help but chuckle softly as you gazed at him, a playful glint in your eyes.

"Why did you bring food?" you asked, your voice filled with light-hearted amusement. "I thought I wasn't allowed to eat. The nurse explained about the IV and all."

Harry held onto your hands, his eyes never leaving yours. He chuckled, a warm, melodious sound that filled the room.

"Well," he began, his voice playful, "Was walking through t’ward, Nurse Lauren came up to me." He paused for dramatic effect, his lips curving into a mischievous grin. "S’told me they reviewed y’vitals’n’explained that y’could eat solid foods again."

You blinked in surprise, a smile spreading across your face. "They did?"

Harry nodded eagerly, his eyes filled with excitement.

"Ye’, they did. S’practically sprinted t’the Cane's next door, knowing s’y’absolute favorite."

You couldn't help but laugh, feeling a warm, fuzzy feeling spreading throughout your heart. "You really know how to make a girl feel special, don't you?"

Harry's smile grew wider, and he leaned in to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.

"Only the very special ones," he whispered, his voice filled with love and adoration, "like you."

Recovery Day Three. — 17th August, 2023.

14:54pm.

The next day painted a stark contrast to the peacefulness of the previous day. As late afternoon sunlight filtered through the window, it did little to alleviate the tension in the room. Your face, contorted in anguish, told a different story.

You had decided to try and have a little nap whilst Harry departed your side to go and get your little love bug, you were tired, you would wake up during the night confused about where you were and just decided to close your eyes, even if it was for five minutes.

Lying in the hospital bed, you were locked in the grip of a restless nightmare. Your brow was furrowed, and a faint sheen of sweat clung to your forehead. The morning sun, instead of casting a gentle glow, seemed to intensify the torment of your dream.

Outside, the world buzzed with life, oblivious to the turmoil within. Your slumber was anything but serene, as you wrestled with unseen demons in the depths of your subconscious. The room, too, held its breath, but not in quietude; rather, it was a silent witness to the tumultuous nightmare that held you captive.

Despite the sunlight's attempt to illuminate the room, a pall of unease lingered, a stark reminder of the night's torment. In that moment, the hospital room became a battleground between your deepest fears and the fragile flicker of hope that sought to break through the darkness.

In the depths of this haunting nightmare, you found yourself ensnared in a nightmarish tableau. Behind the wheel, your hands clenched the steering wheel with an iron grip. Alfie was in the backseat, his voice a haunting crescendo of terror as he called out to you.

"Mommy! Mommy!" His tiny voice trembled with fear, echoing through the confines of the car.

Beside him, a baby girl, a chilling glimpse of the child growing within your belly, wailed inconsolably. Her cries were a haunting lament, a stark reminder of the fragile life depending on your protection.

The world outside the car window blurred into a nightmarish frenzy, colors blending into an incomprehensible whirl. Tires screeched, a discordant symphony of desperation. The vehicle careened out of control, spinning and swerving as if propelled by malevolent forces.

Then came the deafening crash, a cataclysmic collision that reverberated through your very core. The world exploded into chaos, metal screeching against metal, an eruption of sound and fury.

In this nightmare, you teetered on the edge of consciousness, imprisoned within the nightmarish wreckage of the car. Through half-shut eyes, you beheld the unimaginable horror unfurling in the backseat. Flames danced, fierce and relentless, licking at the edges of the car seats. Orange tendrils of death reached hungrily toward Alfie and the tiny, wailing baby girl.

"Mommy, help me!" Alfie's desperate pleas were a chilling refrain, his voice tinged with terror and helplessness.

Tears welled up in your eyes, blurring your vision as you strained against the invisible chains that bound you to the twisted metal. You could feel the unbearable heat, the scorching breath of the flames inching closer with every passing second.

The baby's cries grew louder, a heart-rending symphony of fear and agony. In this agonizing nightmare, you reached out a trembling hand, your fingers desperate to soothe the infant, to cradle her in safety. But the inferno was relentless, its searing fingers inching ever closer.

"Please, Mommy," Alfie's voice cracked with fear, his eyes wide with terror.

"I'm trying, Alfie," you whispered through trembling lips, your voice barely more than a quiver.

In this nightmarish realm, the scent of smoke filled your nostrils, the acrid taste of fear clinging to your tongue. Your heart pounded in your chest like a relentless drumbeat, and the weight of powerlessness bore down on you like an unyielding stone.

Flames engulfed the backseat, painting a hellish tableau of despair. It was a nightmare you couldn't escape, an agonizing loop of terror that clawed at your very soul. Your mind screamed for action, for salvation, but your body remained pinned, an immovable captive.

The cries of the baby grew louder, her tiny voice a heartbreaking plea for rescue. You stretched out your trembling hand, fingers straining toward her, a silent promise of protection. Yet, the flames danced ever nearer, their scalding touch tormenting your outstretched arm.

"Please, baby," you whispered, your voice choked with desperation.

In the midst of this living nightmare, you were rendered powerless, a witness to a tragedy unfolding before your eyes. The world dissolved into a surreal nightmare, where time seemed to stand still, and the relentless flames threatened to consume all you held dear.

The shrill, frantic beeping of the heart monitor filled the room, a discordant symphony of alarm that pierced the air. It was as though the nightmare from your dream had spilled into reality, an unrelenting cacophony of distress.

In an instant, the tranquility of the hospital room shattered. The door flew open, and a team of doctors and nurses rushed in, their faces etched with urgency and concern.

"What's happening?!" one of the doctors exclaimed, his voice taut with anxiety as he approached the bedside, his eyes darting between the monitor and your face.

Another nurse swiftly checked the vitals monitor, her fingers dancing over the buttons. "Her heart rate is skyrocketing! We need to stabilize her!"

A palpable tension filled the room as medical personnel worked in unison, their practiced movements a testament to their training. They adjusted IV lines, administered medications, and conferred in hurried, hushed tones.

Amidst the frantic activity, you felt a profound sense of helplessness, trapped within the confines of your own body. Your heart raced uncontrollably, its furious pounding echoing in your ears.

The lead doctor, a seasoned figure with a commanding presence, addressed the team. "We need to get this under control now. Administer sedatives if necessary, and prepare for an EKG. We can't afford to lose her."

With a sense of urgency, they acted swiftly, the room becoming a whirlwind of activity. Amid the commotion, your fear and desperation were evident in your wide, frightened eyes.

Just when the doctors and nurses thought your condition had stabilized, a sudden jolt coursed through your body. Your limbs convulsed uncontrollably, your fingers clawing at the sheets, and your eyes rolled back as a seizure gripped you with merciless force.

Panic filled the room once more as medical professionals scrambled into action. They lowered the bed's side rails to prevent you from falling, their faces tense with worry.

15:10pm.

Harry leaned against the school gates, patiently waiting for the school day to end. His eyes scanned the children as they poured out of the building, searching for Alfie among the crowd.

As he stood there, a woman with a confident stride approached him. She flashed a flirtatious smile and initiated a conversation, "Well, hello there. You must be Alfie's dad, right?"

Harry nodded, offering a polite smile. "Ye’, S’me. M’here t’pick ‘im up."

The woman, her tone flirtatious and forward, continued, "I've seen you here a few times before. You're a handsome dad, you know. What's your name?"

Harry chuckled nervously, feeling a bit taken aback by her directness. "M’Harry. Nice t’meet ya’."

She leaned in closer, her gaze fixed on his left hand. "Harry, huh? And are you married, Harry?"

Harry held up his left hand, showing his wedding ring. "Ye’, M’happily married,been married almost five years in fact."

Undeterred, the woman's eyes twinkled mischievously. "Happily, you say? Well, you know, sometimes a little excitement outside of marriage can be... refreshing."

Harry raised an eyebrow, a clear signal that her advances were unwelcome. "I appreciate the offer, but I'm quite committed t’m’wife."

The woman seemed slightly disappointed but didn't give up easily. "Well, if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me."

The bell rang, and the main doors of the school swung open, releasing a flood of excited children, all eager to reunite with their parents. Among the crowd, Alfie emerged, his face lighting up as soon as he spotted his father.

With a joyful shout of "Daddy!" Alfie dashed toward Harry, his small feet carrying him as fast as they could. Harry crouched down, ready to catch his son, and as Alfie reached him, he scooped him up in a warm embrace.

"Daddy's ‘ere, buddy," Harry said with a grin, feeling the energy of Alfie's hug and seeing the paint stains on his school uniform. "Did y’have a good day at school?"

Alfie nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah, we painted today! Look at this, Daddy!" He proudly displayed his hands, covered in a rainbow of paint colors.

Harry chuckled, looking at his son's colorful hands. "Wow, y’quite the artist, Alf! Let's get y’cleaned up before we go see mummy."

15:27pm.

Harry and Alfie had just entered the bustling ward when a sudden commotion erupted from your room. Doctors and nurses hurried in and out, their faces filled with urgency, and the chaotic energy in the corridor was palpable. Harry's heart clenched with worry as he instinctively tightened his grip on Alfie's hand.

Harry and Alfie quickened their pace, the corridor seeming to stretch endlessly as they rushed toward your room. The knot of dread in Harry's stomach tightened with every step. He couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong.

As they reached the doorway, Harry's heart plummeted in his chest. There, on the hospital bed, you were having a seizure, your body convulsing uncontrollably. The sight was both horrifying and heart-wrenching. Harry's legs felt like lead, but he forced himself to move closer, his grip on Alfie's hand never wavering.

The sight of you having a seizure was too much for Harry to bear. In that harrowing moment, he couldn't maintain his composure any longer. He released Alfie's hand, and his legs gave way beneath him. Harry fell to his knees outside your hospital room, his hands trembling as he watched you convulsing, unable to do anything but feel the sheer helplessness wash over him.

Alfie stood there, wide-eyed and frightened, looking at his father on the floor and then back at you. His small world was unravelling before his eyes, and he had no idea how to make sense of it. Harry wanted to be strong for his son, but the overwhelming fear and concern for you had shattered his resolve, leaving him vulnerable and devastated.

A doctor yelled above all the commotion that was taking place, directing his speech to one of the nurses. His voice sounded desperate, he needed to help you as quickly as possible.

"Seizure activity!" one of the nurses called out, her voice strained as she rushed to retrieve necessary medications and equipment.

The lead doctor called for additional assistance, his voice urgent and commanding. "We need a crash cart, now!"

tag-list: @itsgigikay @kuntxrgraudunkelbunt @emgoldenharry @cat-loves-music @be-with-me-so-happily @cherrycolas-things @white-wolf-buckaroo @gem1712 @sleutherclaw @viktorialah @woody32271 @alienorknight @psicoatyles

[inkmonster21]

Hearts Across the Divide

4.) Dancing in Danger

Noa x Fem!Human!Reader

Series Masterlist

~oOo~

You and Noa had made it a regular occurrence to meet in the evening mornings, before daybreak at the waterfall. Sometimes you’d play your instrument and relax without exchanging many words. Somedays you two would have in-depth conversations challenging everything you knew. How could someone, an ape, a completely different species, have so much in common with your own soul?

This particular morning, Noa was there first. His back turned to you while he looked down into the water below. He couldn’t help but feel connected with such a structure. Especially with you nearby. The force and strength of the emotions towards you reminded him of the rushing waters.

"Hello," he called, hearing your footsteps on the forest floor behind him. You smile at him, “You’re here earlier today.” He looks away, sheepishly smile on his face, “could not sleep.”

Noa was usually a good sleeper, but ever since you two became friends, he always thought about you right before he went to bed, which kept him awake longer. Noa glanced up at the sky where it was still dark, a few faint stars still visible, and then he looked back to you. "Come sit," he said, patting the spot next to him on the cold rock.

You take the spot next to Noa. Scooting close as if on accident. Your limbs almost grazed each other. If one of you were to move you’d be in physical contact. The thought bites away at your brain.

Eagle Sun lands on the rock in front of you looking at you expectantly. You look at the bird with a small smile. “I didn’t forget about you.” You say before digging into your bag and retrieving a rabbit's foot for the eagle.

Noa watched as you reached into your bag and pulled out a snack for the bird. "Sun likes you more… than me," he teased. Shrugging with a reply, “I’m just likable. That’s all.” Noa rolls his eyes, “is that so?”

“I like to think so. You like spending time with me instead of your clan. I must be somewhat likable.” You smirk at him. Your heart flutters as he smiles wide, his canines grazing his lips. How you wish you could just meet yours in such a passionate manner. But you refrain.

Noa's smile widened at your observation. He couldn't deny that he did seek you out every day and stayed with you for as long as he could. He leaned closer to you.

"You're more… than likable," he whispered, his voice low and filled with warmth. Noa wished he had the words to convey exactly what made him feel, but he didn’t believe there was even a way to describe you in your language either.

Noa watched as your face flushed red with heat at his words, and he couldn't help the sly smile that spread across his lips. He loved the way your cheeks would always turn rosy when he complimented you. He moved even closer to you, so close that he could see the rapid beat of your pulse at your neck. His hand came up and gently brushed along your jawline.

The both of you were fully aware that these feelings were wrong, that you should not feel this way about him, nor you. Yet, when he was this close to you, the thought faded from his mind. Your presence alone was enough to make all rational thoughts disappear. His hand moved from your jaw to the back of your neck, his fingers threading into your hair.

Noa could read your expressions and understand every little thing you did. He knew your little quirks and all your habits. It was as if he had known you your whole life, even though it had only been a few months.

“Can I show you something?” You ask in a soft tone. You wanted to share every little secret you held. Noa was a bit surprised by your sudden question, and he took a moment to admire the way you looked so close to him before answering. "Yes," he said, his voice softer than he intended.

You stand offering your hand to him. Knowing full and well he of course didn’t need it. You didn’t let go either as he came to stand.

“Follow me.”

The two of you making your way down, beside the rushing water. Noa watched as you led him closer to the waterfall, his grip on your hand still firm. “Do you trust me?” You asked him. He didn't even need to think. "I trust you," he replied confidently, his eyes locking with yours.

Noa's eyes widened in surprise as you led him through the small gap behind the waterfall. When you came through to the other side, he couldn't believe how different and quiet it was here. The roar of the waterfall was muffled behind the thick curtain of water. It was almost like a whole different world.

"Whoa..." he breathed, his eyes darting around the cavern.

You had found this cavern years ago. Since then it had become your very own secret. Not even Loui or mother knows this location. This is where you stash all the human relics you found while exploring the overgrown city.

Noa was completely in awe as he looked around the hidden cavern. He could see all the human relics you had collected and he was amazed. He let go of your hand and walked over to one of the relics, picking it up and examining it closely.

He looked at a small pocket watch, flipping it over and trying to open it. "Did you find all this… yourself?" he asked in amazement, his eyes wide as he looked back at you.

You take the pocket watch and open it for him showing him the face of the cracked clock forever stuck at 3:29 am.

You with a smile as you watch him examine the watch. “Must have gotten close… to the ruins to find… all this," he said, still impressed by your collection.

He then turned his attention back to the other relics, picking up a small book and flipping through the pages. You nod, “I’m not allowed to explore there much. I have to sneak away to do it.” You smirk at your rebellious behavior.

Noa hummed slightly at your mention of sneaking away to explore the city. Possibly the two of you could go sometime. "Sneak away? Just like… now?" he said, raising an eyebrow at you with a smirk of his own. You stare at him, the smirk continuing to spread. “Yes, like now.”

Noa stares admiring the way your eyes sparkled in the dim light of the cavern. He took another step closer to you, his chest almost touching yours. "What would…they do? if they found… us?" he repeated, his voice dropping an octave lower. You ponder on the thought. Truly not knowing the answer. You would expect the worst but hope the best.

Noa watched as you pondered the question.

A small part of him knew that what he was doing right now was dangerous, and he could only imagine what the rest of the clan would say if they found out. But he couldn't stop himself. He moved even closer to you, his chest now brushing against yours, and he gently took your chin in his fingers.

Your breath stills in your chest at such proximity to Noa. He could feel your breath against his chest, making his heart thump faster in his chest. His eyes were fixed on yours, his fingers still holding your chin, gently caressing your skin. He could feel the heat radiating off your body, and he could smell the scent of your hair. Noa’s mind began to cloud as he inched closer.

So close to bringing the two of you together. Inches now. Foreheads almost resting against one another. But your name is called through the trees. You still recognize Loui’s voice.

Noa remained close to you, his fingers still holding your chin. His forehead almost pressed against yours. The disappointment on your face was clear as you huffed at Loui's timing. Noa understood exactly how you felt because he was feeling the same. All he wanted was to spend more time with you, just the two of you. He took a step back, releasing your chin, silently frustrated as he regained his composure.

Noa looked down at the book still clutched in his hand. The moment with you had just been interrupted, and he had to bite back the disappointment that came with it.

He looked back up at you and handed you the book, his eyes still lingering on you for a moment longer before he glanced back at the entrance of the cave. You shake your head and push the book into his chest. “Keep it.” A smile on your face. You wanted him to have something besides simple memories to remember you by when the morning ended and the rest of the day began.

Noa looked down at it and then back up at you, his heart swelling slightly in his chest. He took the book back from you, holding it carefully in his hands. He knew he would treasure it, not for the contents of the book itself but for the reason behind it. He wanted to say something, to tell you how much he appreciated the gesture, but the words got stuck in his throat.

Noa listened as Loui called your name again, this time closer than before. He could tell how much you hated the interruption, and he hated it just as much. He took a small step closer to you again, his eyes filled with frustration but also something else hidden within.

“I have to go.” You whisper with regret.

Noa nodded reluctantly, his heart heavy with disappointment. "I know..." he said quietly, his eyes not leaving yours as you spoke. He reached out and gently took your hand in his, his fingers enveloping yours. "Will I…see you tomorrow?" You nod with a smile. “Just like every other morning. I will be here.” You bring his hand up to your face, planting a light kiss on his palm. You wave a silent goodbye before backing away and emerging from the cave.

As Noa felt your lips on his palm, a tingle ran through his hand and up his arm. It was such a small gesture, but it meant so much to him. He watched as you backed away from him, disappearing from sight from behind the waterfall before he stepped further into the cavern. He clutched the book to his frame, his mind still racing from the moment before the interruption.

You climbed up the rocks to meet Loui, still feeling slightly dazed after the moment in the cave. you looked at him as he asked where you had been, "Sorry, I was just..." you trailed off, your mind still consumed by the memory of Noa’s touch. “Busy.”

Loui looked at you with a confused expression as you finished your sentence. "Busy?" he repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Doing what?"

“That’s for me to worry about.”

Loui watched as you walked away from the waterfall, his confusion still evident on his face.

"You're being… secretive," he called after you, his eyes narrowing as he followed you. You look at Loui, “How? I come here all the time. I have for years.” Loui looked back at you, clearly unsatisfied. Yes, this was one of your most frequent locations, but you’d been disappearing more lately, for longer periods at a time. “don’t understand what is so fun… about old waterfall… you seen many times.” You smirk with a shrug, “Me either, brother.”

Loui caught your smirk, and he couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He knew you were keeping something from him, he just couldn’t figure out what. “Whatever you’re doing…” he said, trying to maintain his composure, “I will find out.” You narrow your eyes, “oh I’m sure.” Loui met your narrowed eyes with his own, a hint of annoyance in his gaze. "I will.” He said, his voice adamant. “You are not good… at hiding things… known you since young….I can tell when you’re… hiding something,” he said pointedly, his eyes still locked with yours.

You brush off the subject, “Why did you come looking for me anyways?” Loui could tell you were trying to change the subject, but he wasn’t quite done with it yet.

“Mother was looking… needed help with young.” You hadn’t realized how long you’d spent in the cave until suddenly the day had slipped by without you realizing. Loui watched you closely, still curious about the way you were disappearing more often. “Sorry.”

He shrugged at your comment, “You were gone… half the morning.” Loui could see the guilt in your expression, and he knew you didn’t like neglecting your responsibilities.

-

Noa rode back towards the clan on his horse, his thoughts still consumed by the time spent with you. The book you had given him was safely tucked away in the satchel hanging alongside his horse’s saddle.

He couldn’t help but smile at how you had gifted it to him, insisting he keep it. The gesture had meant a great deal to him.

He knew that the gesture of giving him the a gift, such as the book you gave him, was a significant sign in his clan, typically a way to show someone that you’re interested. Was that how you meant it? Did you have the same feelings he did? He hoped so. The possibility of it only made his heart race. He had no way to confirm without risking everything the two of you had.

Upon his arrival to the Clan, Anaya notices, “There you are.” He says walking up to Noa.

He dismounted from his horse and looked at his sunset sibling. “Here I am,” he said simply, trying to act as nonchalantly as possible.

Anaya’s eyes roamed over Noa, taking in his appearance, messy fur slightly out of place. He obviously hadn’t groomed, other things more present in his mind. It was clear he’d been running around somewhere.

She raised an eyebrow at him. “Where were you? Never disappeared… like that before.”

Noa was caught off guard by his friend’s question. He didn’t want to lie, but he couldn’t tell him the truth either. Not until he understood his own feelings.

He cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to stall for time. “I just… was scouting the land.” he said tentatively, hoping the excuse was good enough.

Anaya studied Noa, his head slightly tilted to the side, still not completely convinced. Noa shifted awkwardly, silently cursing himself for not coming up with a better excuse.

He tried to maintain a neutral expression, attempting to appear innocent and unbothered by his friend’s scrutiny.

As the two apes walked further into clan territory, Noa’s feet unconsciously led him towards the eagle enclosures. Responsibilities tugged at his mind, reminding him of his duties.

Anaya followed closely behind, still eyeing him with a hint of skepticism. Noa tried to act normal as he approached the eagle enclosures, silently praying that his behavior wouldn’t give him away.

Anaya stopped walking, standing in front of Soona. He watched as Noa disappeared into the rebuilt structure, his brow furrowed in concern. “Noa… acting strange.”

He glanced back at Soona and spoke quietly. She looks at Noa’s disappearing frame. “He is spending much time… outside clan… does not say where.”

As Noa walked into the eagle enclosure, he was greeted with a chorus of respectful acknowledgment. The apes in the enclosure called out to him with reverence, for he was, the Master of Birds. He nodded in response, a small smile on his face. He may have had other things on his mind, but the weight of his position of ‘Master of Birds' was not one he took lightly.

Noa was well aware of the legacy his father had left behind. The shadow of his father's leadership loomed over him, and he was determined to be a worthy successor. He wanted to lead the clan with the same wisdom and strength that his father had. It was a significant pressure, but it also served as fuel for his determination to live up to his father's reputation.

Dar sees her son upon his entrance. “Son.” Noa was looking over the birds in the enclosure when he heard his mother's voice. He turned to greet her. “Mother.” he said, a small smile on his face.

As his mother approached, her eyes roamed over his appearance, taking in the messy state of his fur and the fact that he was clearly ungroomed. Her face held a hint of disapproval. Noa huffed in annoyance as his mother started to groom him, ruffling his already messy fur even more. He tried to resist, but his mother's determined hands and sharp eyes made it clear that resisting would be futile. “Such a mess, son.”

Noa grumbled under his breath as his mother continued to groom him, fixing his messy fur. “I was exploring,” he tried to explain, but his mother tutted at his excuse. “Must hold look… of a leader, son.” Noa rolled his eyes as his mother lectured him about his appearance. “I know,” he said, his voice a mix of annoyance and resignation. “I was not expecting… to be judged… on my grooming skills.” Dar stares at her son, “or lack of.”

Noa huffed again as his mother continued to fuss over his appearance. He knew she was right; as a leader, he had a responsibility to maintain a certain level of dignity and appearance. Still, it was irritating to be lectured like a child, especially when he had more pressing matters on his mind. Noa hadn't even realized how disheveled his appearance had become. He had been so wrapped up in his thoughts about you that he hadn't even taken the time to groom himself properly. It wasn't until his mother had pointed it out that he became aware of how bad he must have looked.

“You were gone again… before sunrise,” Dar stated wondering. Noa looked away from his mother's gaze, knowing that she was referring to his earlier disappearance. He hadn't expected her to bring it up, but he should have known she would. “Yes… scouting the area,” he said, repeating the same excuse he had given earlier. His voice was slightly strained, as he tried to keep his true thoughts hidden.

Dar studied her son, trying to decipher the truth behind his words. She could tell he was hiding something, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on what.

She paused in her grooming, her eyes searching his face. “You have been gone… a lot.” “There is a lot of land… still unexplored… want to be ready… if something happens again.”

Dar's eyebrows furrowed slightly as Noa explained his absence. “I understand your desire to be prepared, but you disappear so much… I worry.”

Noa could sense the concern in his mother’s voice. He knew she was worried about his disappearance, but he couldn't tell her the real reason behind his frequent absences. Someone had to be here to take care of such responsibilities when Noa was absent. “The elders met today.” Noa's attention was brought back to the present. He had been so consumed by thoughts of you that he hadn't even noticed the mention of the elders. He looked at his mother, his interest piqued.

“Spoke of you.” Dar states. He tried to keep his voice neutral as he asked, “What did they say?” Dar was silent for a moment. “They think it is time… you choose a mate.” Noa's heart skipped a beat as he heard his mother's words. He knew this topic had been on the elders’ minds for a while, but he hadn’t thought they would bring it up so soon. He tried to maintain a calm exterior as he responded to his mother, "A mate?"

Noa's mind raced as his mother discussed the elders' expectations. He couldn't even begin to fathom the idea of choosing a mate from among the apes. Not when you consumed his thoughts and sent his heart racing. Even the mere thought of it made him feel guilty.

He cleared his throat, trying to hide his inner turmoil. “I see.”

Dar began again. “There are many females… who would be suitable… for clan leader.” Noa felt a pang of guilt in his chest as his mother spoke. He knew there were many young females who would be suitable mates for a clan leader. But the mere thought of choosing one of them made him feel uneasy. They were not you.

“I… I do not think… I am… ready.”

Noa's voice was firm as he told his mother he wasn’t ready to take a mate. He tried to sound confident, but it was difficult to hide the uncertainty he was feeling inside. He couldn't explain the conflicting emotions within him, the turmoil of his attraction to you, and his duties to his clan.

Dar looked at her son with a mixture of concern and disappointment. She had expected he would be ready, but it was clear that he wasn't. She placed a hand on his shoulder, her gaze gentle. “I said you would refuse… but…” Noa braced himself for what his mother was about to say. He knew that Dar was not the type to back down easily, and he had a feeling she had a plan in mind. “Maybe… pick someone of friendship… Soona…”

Noa's eyes widened at his mother's suggestion to choose Soona as a mate. She was a close friend, yes, but Noa had never considered her as more than that. He looked at his mother, "Soona?" he repeated, trying to understand her reasoning.

The thought of being with her didn’t ignite the same fire that he felt when thinking about you. But he knew that the pressure from the elders - and especially from his mother - was not something he could ignore. He took a deep breath, trying to quell the storm of emotions within him. "I will… think about it." he said quietly, hoping it would appease his mother.

Night had fallen, and Noa laid in his nest, his mind consumed by thoughts of you. He replayed scenes of your time together in his head over and over, analyzing every moment and subtle exchange of words.

But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that this was wrong. He was an ape, destined to lead his clan, and yet here he was, completely enamored with a human.

Noa's mind slipped into a dream state as he slowly drifted off to sleep. His surroundings faded away, and he found himself in the familiar cave that he had shared with you. You were there with him, a sense of comfort washing over him as your presence enveloped him.

In the dream, Noa’s hand instinctively reached out to hold your chin, his touch gentle and firm. He drew you closer, his eyes fixed on yours. The distance between you felt impossibly small, the air thick with tension.

“Noa.” You whispered so softly.

His heart skipped a beat as he heard you whisper his name. The sound of it on your lips sent a shiver down his spine. He leaned closer to you, his voice barely above a whisper in response.

Noa rested his forehead against yours, a sigh escaping him. The tension between you was palpable, his emotions swirling in a tangle of confusion and desire. The physical touch, however slight, felt both intimate and forbidden at the same time.

In the dream, Noa wanted to touch you, to explore every inch of your body and commit it to memory. The desire filled him with a fierce need, a need that he couldn’t ignore. His eyes filled with a mix of desire and restraint as he ached to give in to his instincts.

He reached his hand out, his fingers gently tracing the outline of your jaw. The touch was soft and tentative, almost as if he feared that you would disappear if he tried to hold on any tighter. He wanted to pull you closer, to feel your body pressed against his.

With ease you leaned into his hold and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling your heads closer together, Noa felt his heart rate quicken. The feel of your arms around him sent a surge of heat through his body, and he found himself unable to keep his hands from your waist, gently gripping the fabric of your clothes.

“Noa.” You whisper again breathlessly.

In response to your whispered breathless call of his name, Noa feels his body react instantly, his grip on your waist tightening instinctively. The sound of his name on your lips in that soft, breathless tone sent a shiver down his spine, and he leans even closer to you, his heart racing. "Yes?" he murmured quietly, his voice laced with a hint of desire.

“Wake up!”

Noa's dream-state suddenly began to blur and shift, your words penetrating through the haze. As he slowly became aware of his physical surroundings, he could still feel the ghost of your touch, your voice lingering in his ears.

As his eyes opened, he found himself in his nest, the memory of your dream-self still fresh in his mind.

Anaya sits on all fours looking at his friend with confusion. “Crying… in your sleep. Thought you were… hurt.”

Noa blinks awake, disoriented for a moment as he realizes that he's no longer in his dream. Anaya's voice breaks through the fog of sleep, and Noa sits up, still trying to get his bearings.

When Anaya mentions crying in his sleep, Noa feels a pang of embarrassment. He hadn’t even realized he had been crying out in his sleep. though it was no cry of pain.

"fine," he reassures his friend, his voice still rough with sleep and confusion. Anaya looks at his friend. “You can tell Anaya… anything.”

Noa's gaze meets Anaya's, a mixture of gratitude and exhaustion. Part of him wanted to shut down, to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself. But deep down, he knew he needed someone to talk to. Someone he could trust.

He takes a shuddering breath, still trying to shake off the remnants of his dream.

"I… had a dream," he confesses quietly.

Anaya nods, still not understanding. “About?”

Noa's mind flashes back to the dream, the vivid memory of you still fresh in his mind. He hesitates for a moment before answering.

"About someone..." he begins. The words feel strange coming out of his mouth, and he can’t bring himself to just come out and say it. He looks down, fidgeting with a loose strand in his bedding.

Anaya smirks and hoots with laughter. “I knew it! Noa sneaking off… very odd.” Noa can't help but roll his eyes at Anaya's reaction. He should have expected this from his friend, always so curious and perceptive. Noa sighed. “You can not… tell anyone, Anaya.”

Noa's voice is serious as he speaks to his friend. The last thing he wanted was for anyone else, especially the elders, to find out about his feelings. Anaya nodded with an understanding. This was to be kept between the brothers for now.

Noa talked, pouring out his thoughts and feelings about you to his friend. He revealed everything, from the first time he laid eyes on you to the way his heart raced when you were near. But the one secret he kept to himself was your true identity as a human. As he spoke, Noa's expression was a mixture of longing and confusion, his voice growing softer as he confessed his conflicted emotions.

Noa could see the happiness in Anaya's smile, and a small part of him felt relieved and validated in sharing his feelings. But the larger part of him was still filled with anxious uncertainty. “But you understand… why I can not pursue these… feelings… any further?" he asked, his voice tinged with resignation. Anaya innocently ponders, “Why not?”

Noa let out a heavy sigh. He had expected this question from Anaya.

"Because..." he began, struggling to find the right words. "Because she's not… from Eagle Clan. And I am first and only son. I have duties… responsibilities to the clan."

Anaya shrugs, “Eagle Clan always accepting… especially if she makes Noa… happy.” Noa lets out a sigh. A stark reminder of the huge obstacle that stands between them. “Maybe.”

As Noa settled back down in his nest, his gaze drifted towards the stars once more. The countless twinkling lights fill his vision, but all he can think about is you. The thought of you staring up at the same stars as he was sent a pang of longing through his heart. He imagined your face, your eyes, the things that he couldn’t have. He closed his eyes, hoping that somehow, somewhere, you were thinking of him too.

[pearlprincess02]

hit me hard and soft by billie eilish (album astrology)

taurus sun in 4th house

the album hit me hard and soft  by billie eilish embodies a deeply personal and grounded essence, much like the energy of a taurus sun in the 4th house. rooted in themes of vulnerability and emotional stability, the album radiates a quiet strength and sensuality, balancing introspection with outward expression. its central creative focus lies in crafting a safe, intimate space—both lyrically and sonically—where listeners can confront their inner truths while feeling nurtured by lush, earthy tones and rich harmonies. like taurus in the 4th house, the album blends a craving for emotional security with the courage to explore the complexities of home, identity, and self-worth, creating a deeply resonant and authentic piece of work.

“baby, i think you were made for me / somebody write down the recipe”

virgo moon in 8th house

the emotional depth and mood of hit me hard and soft resonate with the energy of a virgo moon in the 8th house, weaving meticulous emotional precision with profound, transformative undercurrents. the album carries an intimate, almost analytical tone, exploring raw feelings with a sense of quiet observation and subtle critique. it connects to the listener’s inner world by delving into themes of vulnerability, trust, and emotional rebirth, yet it does so with an understated elegance, as if peeling back layers of truth one detail at a time. like a virgo moon in the 8th house, the album invites deep introspection and healing, offering catharsis through its intricate melodies and poetic honesty while maintaining a grounded and humble presence that feels both soothing and penetrating.

“if you go, i’m goin’ too / ‘cause it was always you / and if i’m turnin’ blue, please don’t save me / nothin’ left to lose without my baby.”

capricorn rising with aquarius pluto & psyche in 1st house

the public image of hit me hard and soft is strikingly sophisticated yet undeniably unconventional. the album presents itself to the world with a polished, authoritative aura, exuding ambition and control through its branding and visual aesthetic. its capricorn influence gives it a sleek, timeless quality, appealing to those who value depth and maturity. yet, the aquarian energy from pluto and psyche disrupts this traditional front with bold, futuristic undertones—whether through innovative production, cryptic symbolism, or rebellious visuals that challenge societal norms. this combination crafts a first impression that feels both grounded and otherworldly, drawing listeners in with its magnetic balance of structure and unpredictability. it promises a transformative experience, marking the album as a statement piece that resonates on both a visceral and intellectual level.

“the cops around the corner stopped me when i tried to leave / they told me i was crazy and they knocked me off my feet / they came in through the kitchen looking for something discreet / i left a calling card so they would know that it was me.”

taurus mercury in 3rd house

the lyrical content of hit me hard and soft is marked by its poetic simplicity and sensual depth. each word feels deliberate, grounded in a rich, earthy resonance that conveys emotions with tactile clarity. the storytelling is intimate yet accessible, weaving everyday observations into profound reflections on love, pain, and resilience. taurus’ influence brings a soothing cadence and lyrical beauty, while the 3rd house placement highlights the importance of communication, curiosity, and connection. the lyrics evoke a sense of rootedness and authenticity, as if billie is speaking directly to the listener’s heart, creating a deeply personal and relatable experience. this blend of taurus’ artistry and the 3rd house’s intellectual curiosity ensures the album’s message is both heartfelt and thoughtfully expressed.

“thought i was depressed or losing my mind / my stomach upset, almost all of the time / but after i left, it was obvious why / because for you, you, i was the love of your life / but you were not mine.”

taurus venus in 4th house

the aesthetic and harmony of hit me hard and soft exudes a warm, comforting sensuality that feels like an emotional sanctuary. the album’s melodies are lush and indulgent, grounded in a natural beauty that is both timeless and intimate. taurus’ influence imbues the sound with rich textures, soothing harmonies, and a deep appreciation for the pleasures of simplicity, while the 4th house brings a sense of nostalgia and emotional rootedness. the result is a work that feels deeply personal, as though it was crafted to evoke the safety and tenderness of home. the romantic undertones are subtle but powerful, offering a connection to themes of love, security, and the beauty found in vulnerability. this venus placement ensures the album’s soundscape is as inviting and resonant as the emotions it seeks to convey.

“you say no one knows you so well / but every time you touch me, i just wonder how she felt / valentine’s day crying in the hotel / i know you didn’t mean to hurt me, so i kept it to myself.”

aries mars in 2nd house

the energy and drive of hit me hard and soft infused with an aries mars in the 2nd house, is bold, fiery, and unapologetically self-assured. the album radiates a raw intensity, with tracks that pulse with passionate urgency and assertive rhythms. aries mars fuels a sense of fearless experimentation and dynamic pacing, giving the music moments of explosive energy and empowering confidence. in the 2nd house, this drive is grounded in themes of self-worth, value, and personal resources, creating a powerful juxtaposition of impulsive action and deliberate intention. the album’s boldness isn’t just about aggression—it’s about the determination to claim space, express desires, and channel fiery emotions into tangible artistic statements. this combination makes the music both exhilarating and deeply purposeful, leaving listeners energized and inspired.

“i try to live in black and white but i’m so blue”

all observations are done by me !!! @pearlprincess02

main masterlist

[psychics4unet]

Love Text Message from Your Future Spouse! 💌✨🔮

Instructions: Look at the 3 images of the piles below. Choose the pile that you feel most drawn to. Trust your intuition and select the one that resonates with you the most. Once you have made your choice, scroll down to read the description for the pile you selected.

I put a lot of effort into this reading, so please show some love by leaving comments, likes, reblogs, and follow me! ❤️💬✨

Paid psychic reading (7 questions for just $7) is available here:

Pile 1:

The Fool 🌟 The Lovers ❤️ The Star 🌠

The Fool suggests a fresh start and a sense of adventure in love. It’s a message from your future spouse about embracing new beginnings with an open heart and excitement. The Lovers highlights a deep, meaningful connection and a sense of unity, showing that your future spouse feels a strong, soul-deep bond with you. The Star brings a message of hope and inspiration, encouraging you to stay positive and believe in the love that is destined for you. Together, these cards show a message of new beginnings in love, a deep and soulful connection, and a hopeful outlook on the future. Your future spouse wants you to know that love is an exciting adventure and that your journey together will be filled with hope and unity.

Example Messages:

"Hey love, I can't wait to start this new adventure with you! 🌟 Let's explore the world together and make every moment unforgettable. 💫❤️"

"I’ve never felt such a deep connection with anyone before. ❤️ You are my soulmate, and I’m excited for all the amazing things our future holds. 🌠"

"Even on the tough days, remember that I’m always here for you. 🌟 Together, we can face anything with hope and love. 💖"

Love this post? Spread the positive vibes by reblogging with your favorite pile number! Remember to like, comment, and follow me for more tarot insights and spiritual guidance. By sharing this post, you'll invite positive energy from the universe into your life. Let's journey together towards enlightenment and fulfillment!

Pile 2:

The Empress 🌺 The Hermit 🧘‍♂️ Page of Cups 💌

The Empress represents nurturing, abundance, and deep love. Your future spouse wants you to know they are eager to create a beautiful, loving life with you. The Hermit indicates a time of inner reflection and wisdom, suggesting that your future spouse values deep emotional understanding and growth. The Page of Cups is a message of affection and emotional openness, showing that your future spouse is prepared to offer you their heart and share their feelings honestly. Together, these cards convey a message of deep love, emotional depth, and the importance of understanding and nurturing each other in the relationship. Your future spouse is excited about building a loving and abundant life with you.

Example Messages:

"I’m dreaming of building a beautiful life with you, filled with love and abundance. 🌺 Let’s nurture our relationship and make it bloom. 💖"

"I’ve been reflecting on how much you mean to me. 🧘‍♂️ Your love is my guiding light, and I can’t wait to share my deepest feelings with you. 💌"

"Just wanted to remind you how much I adore you. 💌 Every moment with you feels like a sweet dream come true. 🌺"

Love this post? Spread the positive vibes by reblogging with your favorite pile number! Remember to like, comment, and follow me for more tarot insights and spiritual guidance. By sharing this post, you'll invite positive energy from the universe into your life. Let's journey together towards enlightenment and fulfillment!

Pile 3:

The Magician 🎩 Two of Cups 💕 Ten of Pentacles ��

The Magician symbolizes manifesting dreams and making things happen with intention. Your future spouse is letting you know they are actively working to make your shared dreams a reality. The Two of Cups represents a deep and harmonious partnership, emphasizing a mutual, balanced love and connection between you both. The Ten of Pentacles signifies long-term stability and abundance, highlighting that your future spouse envisions a future of lasting prosperity and emotional fulfillment with you. Together, these cards show a message of actively creating and manifesting a successful, balanced, and fulfilling relationship. Your future spouse is committed to making your dreams come true and building a lasting, prosperous future together.

Example Messages:

"I’m working hard to make all our dreams come true. 🎩 Together, we’re creating something magical, and I’m so excited for our future. 💕"

"You and I make the perfect team. 💕 I’m grateful for our deep connection and all the beautiful moments we share. 🌟"

"I’m envisioning a future full of love, happiness, and prosperity for us. 🌟 Let’s build our dreams together and enjoy every step of the journey. 🎩"

Love this post? Spread the positive vibes by reblogging with your favorite pile number! Remember to like, comment, and follow me for more tarot insights and spiritual guidance. By sharing this post, you'll invite positive energy from the universe into your life. Let's journey together towards enlightenment and fulfillment!

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best. Remember to reblog, like, comment, and follow for more cosmic guidance and positivity!

Paid readings (7 questions for just $7) are also available for more in-depth insights and personal guidance! 🌟💫

[gyutarling]

CHASING THAT FUZZY FEELING

txt as my favourite shoegaze songs

♯ — txt x gn!reader ⋆ fluff ⋆ angst ⋆ blurbs

warnings! — cringe, cheesy, not proofread, lowercase intended, extremely corny

note — i'm not completely satisfied w soob's n tyun's T-T notes, reblogs, feedback always appreciated!

YEONJUN — lovely crawl by fleeting joys

"i’m looking for something that’s lost in the light"

yeonjun can be considered what some would call a hedonist. always looking for cheap thrills, things that numb and burn, that die out just as quickly as he does come morning time. everyone knows it, they pity him, and they pity you. you, who despite being aware of yeonjun’s ways, fell victim to his never-ending pursuit of pleasure. he’s here for a good time, you’re here for a long time. you thought you’d be content with the superficial affection he provides, but alas, you long for substance. constantly teetering on the edge of nothing and something, yeonjun only wants you at your best, and your best is when you’re igniting his flame of hedonism. it drowns you— the noise, the strobelights, the waiting. you’re always waiting for more, for something. but on fleeting occasions, when yeonjun’s not even conscious, passed out on the floor from the highs of self-indulgence from the night before, when it’s quiet. that’s when you can crawl up next to him, the physical closeness aids in the illusion of there being something more.

SOOBIN — bloom by glare

"your smile blooms one on me"

to say that soobin is the embodiment of a first love is like saying the sky is blue. but it’s not the exciting, puppy love type that people always say it is. falling for him is a slow descend, that budding feeling that grows, a kind of affection that��s been there all along, it just needed to sprout. soobin is a flower. a flower that opens up when the time is right, and when it is, he brings a soft hue of salvation to your bleak world. you may be fooled, because a beautiful flower can be admired by many, but you know that the blossoming emotions that soobin feels are true to only you. delicate but strong, he can withstand all the harsh conditions that the world rains down on him because you’re here, it’s a mutual assurance. it’s a love that’s gentle and nurturing, in the way that he makes you want to grow and become beautiful just like him. he supports you in every step of the way, with a smile, and it’s all you need, really.

BEOMGYU - mellow by whirr

"always between me and you"

beomgyu is aware of the ephemerality of life. he thinks there’s a certain beauty to it, honestly, how nothing lasts forever. that’s why he would consider himself a simple person, taking pleasure in the little things that make up the transience called happiness. but deep down, beomgyu is afraid. he has been loved before, and he has loved, too. he has loved too much, too intensely— but unfortunately, love is not an exception, regardless of how much beomgyu wished otherwise. so when you came into his life, beomgyu desperately hoped that nothing would take you away, that you’re not just a fleeting moment. no one gets him like you do, the way you just know. beomgyu thinks that you might just actually be his soulmate, because your connection transcends anything words can describe. he’s convinced that he must've been surrounded by cardboard cutouts his whole life, as no one but you has ever conveyed so much depth with their existence alone. monotony is beautiful with you— in fact, he would be content with just laying on the floor in your presence for eternity. so just this once, he wishes for you to be the exception.

TAEHYUN — angel by drop nineteens

"and i believe that dreams come true, cause you came when i wished for you"

“larger than life” is a phrase that would encompass taehyun’s existence perfectly. his genuine love for this cruel world impresses many, as if he knows of a transformative secret that is the key to living his life to the fullest. maybe it’s his vast curiosity, to want to know not only of the wonders of life, but also how he can get back up even after it knocks him down. taehyun believes that negativity is too draining, because of that, being with him is like a transformative experience in and of itself. he must be a higher being, an angel, 'cause even at your lowest, just one hint of a smile from him is enough for you to ascend to the clouds. that floating feeling never leaves you when you’re with him, it swallows you whole, and it makes you wonder how you could feel sad ever again. even when the clouds clear, when you two are at your most vulnerable, under the gaze of the stars, you’ll watch the skies in taehyun’s eyes instead, they shine brighter in there anyway.

HUENINGKAI — how fast can you love by pia fraus

"tomorrow, please love me"

kai has been patient his whole life. his passion drives him, he’s been walking a lonely road to achieve his dreams. he had always thought that he grew up too fast, no time for insignificant matters, kai’s world is a world in which he has to fight to survive. of course, that doesn’t mean that he’s completely immune to youthful desires, and kai wishes for nothing more than to turn back time so he could feel like a real person again, even just for a little while. and when you came into his life— a force to be reckoned with, you are, he thinks that letting himself indulge for once wouldn’t hurt. so he lets his passion consume him this time, and only then does he realise how lonely he has been all along. kai is tired of being patient, and it shows through his complete vulnerability when he’s with you. even though it’s hard, he’s so used to locking his emotions away in his heart-shaped box, you can tell he’s really trying. kai puts every ounce of himself in the potential of your love, because then he would finally have something to hope for, no matter how unsure he may be.

[hederasgarden]

Hey Ivy 💕 I’m looking for some advice. I want to get back into writing, I haven’t written anything in literal years. I don’t even know where to start. I know logically the thing to do is just….start writing, simple as that. Use the muse, find the prompt, just start. But every time I try I get so incredibly cringed out but my own work and cannot continue. This isn’t even to post it anywhere or share it with anyone, it’s just for fun and a hobby, I know it doesn’t even have to be good, but then I think if its not good and I’m literally not going to post it anywhere then why bother do it. Any advice would be most welcome 💕💕💕

It can be really hard to get back into writing after being away from it for a while, especially when you’ve built up expectations for yourself. I think the first question to ask yourself is why you loved writing in the first place. Was it a fun, relaxing way to unwind? Did you enjoy crafting plots, exploring emotions, or developing connections between characters? Or maybe you loved engaging with fandoms, interacting with readers, and sharing your work with others? If you can pinpoint that original why it might help. 

For me, one of the biggest driving forces is how writing makes me feel. It can help me relax and disengage from stressors in my life but there’s also something thrilling about building a plot, diving deep into a character’s emotions, and getting that cathartic payoff when everything clicks into place. However, there are plenty of times when writing makes me feel the opposite and I’ve felt like deleting everything and quitting. I’ll probably feel that way again at some point. Tomorrow maybe. It’s all part of the process. 

I also would like to potentially publish some original material someday so I approach writing fanfic as a way to hone my craft. But not everyone wants to do that and that’s okay. Writing can just be silly and fun. 

Anyway, here are two pieces of advice I’ve found helpful:

Have zero expectations for your first draft.

I often cringe at my first drafts—they always feel so flat, and I miss a lot of the imagery and depth I want to convey. But honestly, that’s okay. The first draft isn’t about being good. It’s about getting something down on the page so you have material to work with. One trick I’ve found helpful is setting a timer for 10-15 minutes, and allowing myself to write stream of consciousness without editing. You’d be amazed at how much you can get done that way. Once I have a chunk of writing, I’ll go back and tidy it up, fixing grammar and adding more description and emotions. I rinse and repeat until I’m satisfied. It’s like adding layers and depth to a drawing.

I think people might be surprised how long it takes me to get to a finished product. 

Find a cheerleader.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't find a lot of motivation and inspiration from the feedback and interactions I get. However, we all know interaction on Tumblr can be tricky so I’ve learned not to solely depend on it. Instead, throughout my time in fandom, I’ve built friendships with other writers and readers and I can’t tell you how much it helps to have someone to talk to about your work. Whether it’s sending them snippets of your story, brainstorming plot ideas, or just getting them hyped about what you’re working on, having that support can make all the difference. Let them hype you up. Seriously. It's a game-changer. 

I know it’s hard when you’re feeling self-critical, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Writing is a process, and sometimes it’s messy and you hate it at first but you have to keep showing up. Even if you write 10 words one day, that’s progress. 

My inbox and DMs are always open to talk anon. I hope you can rediscover your joy of writing.

[starmapz]

if there’s anyone who has the patience of a god, it would be reader.

it’s a mix of deep compassion and mounting frustration, where she feels this overwhelming urge to shield him, to take on the weight of his fears, but every time she tries to guide him, his anxiety creates barriers, and yet, the way you described her steady presence and determination throughout the story feels so reassuring.. even when faced with frustration, whether it’s misunderstandings, resistance or the difficulty of the circumstances, she doesn’t waver. instead of pulling away she leans in with even more patience and compassion. it’s as though you truly understand the depth of what it means to hold space for someone who’s struggling. which is what helps me calm my senses, knowing that reader isn’t so easily deterred and won’t give up on sukuna without much effort. and as seen in sukuna’s most vulnerable moments, his panic attack in response to the harsh and cruel reality he’s had to face that day, where you’ve managed to capture the raw, visceral intensity of what it feels like to lose all sense of mind in the heat of the moment, the way you convey the racing heart, the suffocating sense of losing control, and the spiraling thoughts is both haunting and incredibly real. every sentence felt like a pulse, quickening and constricting, drawing you into the panic and holding you there. there was a brief moment of fear, where i wasn’t sure if either of them would say or do something that would leave the other out in the cold, but the realization and sense of assurance i got from both characters, such as sukuna working to control and tame his emotions and reactions, in order to stay composed in front of the person he respects and values the most, determined not to drive her away with the harsh words he’s used before and reader trying her best to hold herself up right despite the constant push she gets from him calmed my senses even if just a little.

it’s clear that sukuna’s actions are driven by deep internal conflict, not because he doesn’t recognize the help being offered, but because his pride prevents him from accepting it, and vulnerability does little to ease his discomfort. it’s almost as if he believes that by keeping others at arm’s length, he can protect himself from people viewing him as weak and pitying him. yet, beneath the walls he’s constructed, there’s a quiet desperation, a longing for connection he’s too scared to acknowledge. sukuna doesn’t want to admit that he needs help, even though he’s drowning in the very thing he refuses to accept. it’s what makes him a bit frustrating to deal with, which is why i’m saying that reader has the most patience out of everyone. they both so obviously need each other in order to stay grounded, preventing themselves from losing control amidst their overwhelming responsibilities and emotions.

your skill lies in not just describing the physical aspects, but also in conveying the emotional weight- the terror, the helplessness, and the isolation. it’s a rare talent to make such an intense, personal experience feel universally understood, and you do it with both precision and empathy. your words hit hard, but they also leave an impact that’s impossible to forget.

and despite the intense angst of the chapter, this was an incredible read. (i gasped when i saw it was at almost 18k words, we’re too spoiled 🤭)

HIIII LOVE <33 i hope you're doing well!!

i always look forward to your asks they make me so happy <33

sukuna absolutely needs someone with reader's patience, the poor man :(( he's so quick to spring to his own defense, to put up walls and even tear her down at times with his own anger, but it never comes from anything more than his own pride and fear that he won't acknowledge, but that can all only last so long when the weight of the world is on his shoulders.

a part of why this chapter took me so long (aside from the whole 17k thing LMAO) is that i really wanted to make sure i captured not just the moment where sukuna falls apart, but everything leading up to it as well, because that crushing sense of doubt and fear that sukuna goes through i felt was all the more emotional knowing that it's a sum of a very mounting pressure built up over the course of several days. sukuna is beyond strong, very self sufficient, and very competent, but he's still human. i really wanted to make sure i captured his fear of loss and failure, but also the fear of being seen at his most vulnerable not only by the reader but also his brothers, because they're already at their lowest, so he knows he needs to be above that, he needs to be their pillar, but he so stubbornly thinks he can handle it alone.

the reader absolutely has the patience of a god, something that comes very much from her extremely kind nature and the sympathy she has for sukuna, but also from a place of love. she understands on a level that most don't see that what you know about someone, sukuna in this case, isn't always a real picture of who they are (ehehe fic title drop), and the same can be said about her. most don't see the extremely hard-working girl who studied her ass off to get a scholarship, they see gojo's friend. they see the preppy girl who sits with frat boys, who holds the title of prom queen and gets good grades, and they make assumptions.

the reader and sukuna are two sides of the same coin, even if it takes them both a while to come to this realization. they both are hard-working, compassionate (albeit in different ways), and unrelenting in their resolve. and honestly thank god that she's as nosy as she is, because as much as sukuna complains, they wouldn't get anywhere if he was constantly pushing her away and letting his pride come between them. it's the traits that they do share that draw them to one another and the traits that they don't share that make them work so well, because where sukuna lacks temperament, the reader brings it to the table in droves, supplying enough for the both of them, especially when sukuna's drowning and needs it most.

slowly but surely, they're making progress!! even if sukuna sticks his foot up his ass to prevent it sometimes. i love him sm though

AAA THIS IS TOO SWEEEEET thank you sm 😭🫶 i can't even describe how grateful i am for your support and to hear that my words could have such an effect is so overwhelmingly encouraging and really does keep me writing.

i'm so so so glad you enjoyed the latest chapter, thank you sm for your ask <333

actual image of me reading your ask

[happiestmariebeaumont]

Marie Beaumont looked at the other with deep concern etched into her features, her eyes reflecting a mixture of empathy and urgency. “Please, speak to me,” she said softly, her voice almost a whisper, as if she were afraid that raising it might shatter the fragile moment they shared. She hoped that the other would be willing to open up, to show the vulnerability she sensed hiding beneath the surface.

Marie had never been the kind of person surrounded by a crowd of friends; her circle was small, yet each connection was meaningful to her. She believed that caring for others—truly caring—was a rare and precious gift. It was enough for her to know that she could be a source of support, a safe harbor in a storm. The silence between them felt heavy, thick with unspoken words and emotions, and she longed to bridge that gap, to encourage the other to share their heart, their burdens, and their fears.

“Please, I’m here for you,” she continued, her voice steady yet gentle. She reached out slightly, her hand hovering in the air as an invitation, a gesture of solidarity. It was a small thing, but in that moment, she hoped it would convey the depth of her sincerity and the warmth of her intentions. Marie believed that everyone deserved to be heard, to feel seen, and she was determined to offer that to the other, no matter how long it took.

@happieststarters

[nerdyenby]

Life Series winners as primal sources from the Dragon Prince

I made a post about this back when Limited Life finished but I’m revisiting the concept because I love it (this is all inspired by the wiki)

This is a touch long so buckle up :)

For this unfamiliar with TDP, it’s a Netflix show by a lot of the same people as Avatar the Last Airbender, it’s very neat and you should check it out. There are seven sources of magic in this universe: the six primal sources (sun, moon, stars, sky, earth, and ocean) and dark magic (which harvests and uses energy from magical creatures)

Grian as The Sun

Sun magic is known for its dual nature: light and growth vs fire and destruction. Either warm enough to comfort or hot enough to burn, the Sun and those who practice it’s magic are associated with truth, fury, intensity, charisma, and leadership. The solar arcanum has to do with strong positive energy, but also manifests in anger, fear and grief. Despite its focus on hope and healing, the Sun is also highly destructive and requires careful control of one’s emotions and impulses.

Grian is a bright figure, often at the center of the life series due to his contagious energy and unpredictability. It is due to his ability and desire to bring people together that destruction follows him. He seeks to entertain — to bring joy — but tends to do so in a way that is either careless or impulsive and often results in pain or loss. His warmth draws people in just in time for his lack of control to burn them. This is why — despite being seen as a friend and even a leader to other players — Grian always ends up alone.

Scott as The Stars

The Stars are the rarest and most powerful source of magic. Very little is known about it, but the Stars and those who practice it’s magic are associated with wisdom, destiny, dedication, reality, vision, and eternity. The most mysterious of sources, Star magic is said to be vast and timeless. Practitioners of the Stars’ arcanum have said it to be brighter and more beautiful than anything else in the universe, but unconcerned with the mortal world and even cruel. The Stars have power over time and space, unfathomable in their reach and strength.

Scott is frequently hailed as the biggest threat in any given season. His strategies evade substantial analysis, but his biggest trademark is maintaining loose but amicable connections with everyone around him. No one wants to get on his bad side, not only because of his strength, but because of his likability. Intelligent and charming, Scott manages to get through majority of each game without any real enemies, keeping his distance and avoiding being seen as a threat. Scott is bright, both in intelligence and in atmosphere. He is everywhere and nowhere, constant yet unnoticed. He’s above the petty fighting of the other players, but whenever he enters the fray he is the most feared unknown on the field.

Pearl as The Moon

Those connected to the Moon primal are private and secretive creatures. It is associated with manipulation, duality, depth, love, and death. The Moon arcanum largely focuses on the relationship between appearance and reality, understanding that appearance is a part of reality and that we can only ever perceived the appearance of reality. Truth and illusions are central concepts in the practice of lunar magic, and those who practice it are often misunderstood, dismissed as mad, or isolated. The Moon has a penchant for trickery, often playing with the line between truth and lies or life and death.

Pearl has always been a person who loves very deeply, but frequently finds herself alone. While she very much values a certain level of privacy, she also craves companionship. Pearl is extremely intuitive and pays attention to her surroundings, not hesitating to take new angles or look at something or someone from a new perspective. But in her intelligence comes something difficult to convey, her fluidity can cause her to be perceived as fickle. She is often in smaller groups or even alone, as people who don’t understand her may be inclined to distrust her. Pearl is often seen as wild or unpredictable due to a combination of her more withdrawn nature and her straddling the line of truth and lies, of life and death. Her mischievousness, intelligence, and independence can intimidate others, but Pearl is a steadfast and loyal ally, misunderstood as she often is.

Martyn as The Ocean

The Ocean is dynamic and forceful. It is associated with transformation, adaptability, navigation, depth, and awareness. Those who practice the Ocean primal tend to form strong connections to others, but they also have hidden depths. Gentle on the surface with great strength beneath, they may be stronger than even they know. The Ocean arcanum is about letting go of your need for control and finding the constant amidst constant change.

Martyn had been a classic team player, often making a place for himself right beside a force to be reckoned with. He was loyal, ready and willing to live, fight, and die for another. But he is also fluid, flexible in his role. Martyn is content staying on the sidelines when that is what serves him best, but he also has a fighting spirit that historically gets overlooked. He is powerful. He forms strong relationships, but has also learned when to stay and when to let go. He has paid attention, learning the game, and now it is his time to strike. His whole story is about the battle for freedom, but it is also about finding how to live within that space. He still pushes at the walls of his cage, unrelenting in his fight to find a way out, but he simultaneously refuses to let his circumstances dictate his story.

Scar as The Earth

The Earth arcanum emphasizes resilience, patience, history, and stubbornness. Those connected to the Earth primal care deeply about the world around them and it’s story. They are patient and strong, focusing on growth and fortitude. Those who practice the Earth primal value balance and harmony, seeking interdependent and mutually beneficial relationships with everyone and everything around them.

Scar’s story is one of growth. From the first person to ever die in this series to the only winner to make it out alive, Scar’s victory is a testament to his dedication and diligence. He has worked steadily to improve with no basis of comparison but himself, patient and steadfast, uncaring if anyone takes notice. He’s stubborn, even when no one believes in his abilities — including himself — he doesn’t give up, putting in his all regardless. He doesn’t expect success, but he achieves it regardless. Scar has never been out to rewrite history, but he carves a brand new story in stone all on his own.

[altocat]

I wouldn’t put this in the tag, but why do certain people in this fandom get so mad when Seph gets any form of humanization so much?? Keeping a bunch of his background a mystery is a reasonable request absolutely, but why is it so bad to see him emote and have connections and deal with shit before his downfall?

Why is it so bad to add to the subtle and delicate writing that surrounds his “fallen angel” arc? I mean, do people want a smirky, one-dimensional villain forever? (Not that he ever was one-dimensional anyway but apparently some think he was).

No villain should just be evil for no reason, and if we want their reasons to be a little mysterious, that is entirely able to be done without stripping them of their emotions or tragedy. Everyone’s favorite villains have carefully crafted downfalls and often there is tragedy and misunderstanding involved.

Seph is an absolutely iconic villain and deserves more of this treatment. He is frankly, overdue for some humanization that isn’t bound to the limits of an older game like Crisis Core that often suffered from a lack of deeper exposition or elaboration. He’s earned it after being a terrifying, mysterious villain for so long.

Just a touch of it doesn’t ruin anything. The writers seem to be treating it with care and delicacy so far, which is good. That’s what we need.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Twitter is getting on my nerves because people are saying things like “He better just stay crazy and enjoy burning shit for no reason.” and accusing people that disagree of “not actually being a true fan of the character.” (As if Crisis Core didn’t already make him more sympathetic!!)

(I’m also not using his full name so that this doesn’t show up in anyone’s search results if you don’t want to draw any contention. Cheers).

Pure evil villains are boring, unless it's full camp or they're having fun and it's delicious to watch.

I think people aren't paying attention to context. This isn't CURRENT Sephiroth, this is Sephiroth as a child. If he was always evil and always sadistic, it would take away a lot of the message the original game was trying to convey with him--Sephiroth is the product of SHINRA, the product of immoral ethics, war, and greed. Sephiroth was a normal baby given abnormal enhancement, shoved into extremely traumatic rules and expectations, and subsequently loses everything that ever made him human in a mad quest for revenge and control. To say Sephiroth was evil from the moment he was born is a HUGE disservice to his character, and his story as a whole. Sephiroth is a monster. But he is the monster Shinra created.

Now do I think Sephiroth should be redeemed? No, probably not. It's not about his journey back into the light, it's about his descent into darkness. That's what makes his character interesting. For the record, I don't want them to woobie him either. Part of the reason I find those Disney Remakes insufferable is how they take fun villains (Cruella, Maleficent) and try to make them all weepy and sympathetic. THOSE are villains where being pure evil works. It's entertaining. Their evilness is infectious. They're chewing the scenery and it's great. They're nasty little shits and they ENJOY it and they're cartoony enough to where you don't have to take it seriously. Sephiroth is a completely different beast, with an actual message to his story.

I've always found serious pure-evil villains completely uninteresting because there's no layers to them. No pathos. No depth. Part of having a good villain is looking into their eyes and seeing something of yourself in there. YOU could be that. YOU could become that. These are moral lessons for adults as they try to navigate a confusing and unfriendly world. You shouldn't turn into this because, in the end, succumbing to anger and hate ISN'T good. It ISN'T healthy. And these villains, at the end of the day, are extremely unhappy people who bring about their own destruction. You lose that when they're just a smirking sadistic killing machine. It's an empty husk that just exists for the heroes to defeat. I'd like to think that Sephiroth is more than that, and has always been more than that.

Anyway, rant over. Twitter is dumb, hence why I'm not on it. I'll agree with them if the Remake Trilogy attempts at a redemption arc and it's clumsy and unjustified. But this? A tragic Seph backstory was always a given when you look at the lore. So long as they go about it in a balanced morally gray way, it fits very well with his character.

[andykinkyphoto]

Hi, I’m Andy Gref, a photographer based in Dallas, and my work is all about blending sensuality, strength, and vulnerability. I aim to create unique images that not only capture attention but also evoke deep emotions, sparking reflection and connection. My approach to photography is always personalized. I work with light, textures, and contrasts to uncover the depth and complexity of each shot. Whether it’s a classic portrait, conceptual projects, or more intimate and experimental work, I’m focused on creating expressive and one-of-a-kind visual stories. Every project is more than just a photoshoot for me — it’s a way to convey atmosphere and character. Whether it’s a commercial shoot, an advertising project, or a personal session, I bring fresh ideas and always look for new challenges, whether that means styling, playing with imagery, or creating unique artistic concepts.