#WHICH IS SOMEHOW MORE SCARY
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ITS ALWAYS THE ROUND GLASSES HAUNTING ME
#starfayy speaks#WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY#Aside Okarun#all these other characters#i have a crush on somehow#ITS THE GLASSES MAN IDK#WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME–#Okarun is here cuz hes my favorite#He falls in the criteria platonically#WHICH IS SOMEHOW MORE SCARY#Look at Vashhhh dear Lord#hes so pretty#round glasses my weakness#PERCY **MELTS**#Yes SpiderNoir is here...#have u seen?#the arts of him??#im having a crisis#CURSE YOU HOT BRITISH MEN FRONTMEN OF A ROCKBAND WHO WEARS ROUND GLASSES AND ARE ABSURDLY PRETTY#Very specific i know but i blame those twp#*BIG SIGH*#MILO AND ESPRESSO MY BELOVED NERDS NOM NOM#the soft boy hair doesnt help either#♡♡♡♡♡♡
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this is all i got
#Tiny side ramble in the tags its what i do best#in the interview they mention charlie feeling way more like developed in s2 and I. if that’s really true iM SOOO happy and somehow#even more excited for it bc of that Because ive mentioned this before obviously ive always liked charlie#but like. im unable to really get into him the way i can do with pim. like there’s nearly Nothing about him that tells me anything about hi#character which AGAIN IVE SAID. IK THATS THE POINT and ur not even like. these aren’t even like designed to be blorbo type characters so-#-who cares BUT LIKE. I STILL WANT TO LIKE HIM AS MUCH AS I LIKE PIM YA KNOW#well not As much. he could never compare to pim in my personal mind#but yknow what imean. so im happy that probably means we’re getting more of him kinda in s2#Aauauuaau so excited#Also i still hate drawing him#never wont#smiling friends#pim pimling#charlie dompler#Dumb name … stupid guy…#💝#charpim is soo scary to actually tag like woah guys who said anything about all that.. hey now#odieart
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Was giving these analysis a read [ x , x , x , x ]
#twisted wonderland#twst#trey clover#jamil viper#kalim al asim#jade leech#and then i gave his mentioned vignettes a read#it's true#he has a back street way to get stuff he wants#but thankfully the things he wants always borderline normal#the best thing about him laying low is to strike when people are totally off guard around him#which is what happened to riddle#fsdshd i guess if he did turn someone's bone into a jelly he would overblot in an instant fhsdhs#that sounds just as scary as avatar's blood bending#i was focusing more on his wanting to be normal side bcs i was not through yet with all stories involving him#but i'm not sure if i could be sly enough to write him as clever as he should be#somehow reading him being described as clever makes me a bit happy#like woah he really is!#fsdhsdh but he can really be a henchman of mafia group if he really wants to; this trey#fshdshdshdsdh OH no now i'm imagining the leech's mafia family#but i think leech's dad would respect trey's choice not to get his hands on any of these shady business#but it's assuring to know trey might have something up in his sleeves if anything ever happen to his son#anyway happy birthday trey!#also this doujinshi strips where trey doing a back street way of casting his nets over jade#https://twitter.com/CfEo95iwr/status/1715992373686362213#i like to think he is confident he could do it without such a thing#but that sly way i understand now it's totally him
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I somehow only Just noticed how Lucifer's wings move when he laughs in Surprise Guest interactions and I'm. Kind of obsessed? Like that's inexplicably adorable what
I've been due for some wings brainrot for a while now, hoping this one sticks around for a while afhsfjsf the tails got more than their fair share of my attention i Need to be spinning the concept of wings around in my brain at all times for the next three months At Least--
(Bonus hc infodump in the tags bc I have minimal self restraint)
#obey me#obey me headcanons#<- all in the tags💀#obey me nightbringer#obey me lucifer#lucifer#how have i not fully processed this big scary* demon having big fluffy probably emotionally reactive wings#his feathers probably fluff up when he's content and comfy#he 100% uses them to make himself seem even bigger and more threatening when he feels like he needs to#which now has lost its threatening capabilities to me bc he's just doing Bird Things xfjjgxgx#he's threatening enough on his own adding the bird tactics on top just loops back around to Little Guy territory somehow--#anyways wings good#they probably make nice sounds when they move and the feathers brush against each other and they're probably really soft in some places and#he'd probably start purring if you pet them (while you're alone ofc lol) especially the places closer to his back#or wherever else he might struggle to reach himself#I'm gonna be so real tho i think doing anything that could qualify as preening to Any of the former/current angels would get to them a bit-#Lucifer would be more subject to returning the favor tho (subconsciously or intentionally. probably both at different times lmao)#the instinct/cultural association with it has died down a bit in the rest of the brothers (at least conciously)#bc it did mostly just apply to helping other angels they were close with with their wings specifically#so lucifer being the only one with feathers would've probably had that habit/association stay more ingraned than it did for the rest of them#bc he'd be reminded of it all the time#ok i should make an actual post about this at some point i think instead of dumping it in the tags bc jfc-#bc im about to start spiraling into how the brothers adapted to their new bodies and being so out of their own culture when they fell#and etc etc#and I'll yap for Years and also maybe cry a lil--#tldr Preening As A Sign Of Affection (mutual) and it effects Lucifer the most for several reasons#personal headcanons
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new teen just dropped
#dndads#the doodler#dude dndads#normal oak#scary marlowe#lincoln li wilson#taylor swift dndads#hermie the unworthy#im gonna be honest. i think theyre going to somehow forget hermie even more.#or maybe just put him somewhere like when he was babysitting the dads#anthony has so many npcs to juggle now#ANYWAYS dude. silly guy. i like its he/they/it swag#body horror#i realized pretty early on that i just kind of made zoe monster prom? which okay#not my fault theyre literally the same character. purple eldritch god turned high schooler?? okay#dndads spoilers
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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Thissss is an old drawing by me !!!! Where I am introducing Birthday to Dale :-) this is what I think the sun is for . That and photosynthesis .
#I am kinda of sad … kinda sad Song..#moving is scary ish !!!#lots is changing and it’s kind of scary#I have birthday here with me and I love her and I tell her I love her so much#but I’m scared things might be wrong ?#I duno#birthday doesn’t mind the house that much . he is worried I’ll forget him downstairs one night though#because we have two stories now and I sleep upstairs !#the house is way more than the old place which you know was just two rooms and a bathroom#but it feels smaller somehow#I do not understand! maybe somebody else will#birthday understands#ours
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everything about me is about my general disconnect with the world around me, except being Objectum which is about being Alive.
#sorry I wrote a whole rant!!! and then this sentence popped into my head and I was like. Oh that can be the whole post actually asdfjdssdj#I Have Always Been Objectum. I think about that. a lot#like yeah you could argue I've always been aroace as well with my history but I thought it was lesbianism for such a long time.#but being aroace is more about absence of feelings which feels different from presence of feelings believe it or not dshdshd#it's. real nice and reassuring that I can look at back at so many of my memories and link them back to just Being Objectum#...I do think it's maybe why I'm having trouble with this gender stuff. because I have nothing to say I've always been one or another way#identity is fluid and Sometimes Things Just Change I do know that but it's. scary a little bit#yada yada I still feel like I'm lying somehow we've been through this before hdhsddsh#i'll get somewhere with this one day maybe#objectum#android.txt
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I ᰔᩚ the (female) traveller & citlali’s interactions :c
#scheduled.#ESP in this new story quest of hers :C#I just ! I knowww people hate her bc of ‘fanservice’ and all but to a degree she is similar to me (minus the tsundere act lolll)#and the way (female specifically) traveller speaks to her is just so ! it’s so cute !#I see citlali in myself to a degree; and also the way traveller speaks to her I see in myself too#I don’t like the tsundere ‘WAAAH T-T-TRAVELLER ?!’ act she has but everything else abt her I adore ☹️#I wish people could see her more than the surface level stuff#in truth she is just a girl like everyone else — she only keeps herself away due to the inevitable breakdown of what will become the norm t#her .. but that makes her appear scary but it’s only because she is frightened of the outcome and possibility of getting hurt which is boun#to happen. but lumine helps her realise that it’s okay to remember and that being able to remember is a gift in and of itself :c#I suppose I find their interactions endearing because to a certain capacity it reminds me of someone#although our interactions aren’t like this precisely; I do somehow find myself drawing a comparison#setting that aside I very much prefer citlali + lumine as super close friends#their friendship is so special to me 🤧#citlali#Genshin impact
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Fandom: i really need y'all to stop screaming "DEATH OF THE AUTHOR!!!!" whenever a creator doesn't give you what you want.
It's getting fucking creepy.
#venting#there's a long rant here I'm too tired to make about fandom entitlement#and about getting so twisted up about 'representation'#that somehow we've turned it into 'if you don't make your story all about me then fuck you'#which is a horribly unhealthy and unproductive way to go about anything#and speaking here as a writer? it's more than a bit scary
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Harry needed to get high to get through the night with his former lover. I'm joking but not. I'm glad they're hanging out again. Time heals all. Harry's been so much more public it's interesting too
Eh, idk that he needs to be high to hang out with Nick, but the entire THING*tm between the two of them is obviously fraught for them both, so I'm just glad to see they somehow connected (I will bet cash money neither one of them wanted that photo out there, though)
#as for Harry being 'more' public--he's just livin' his life bb!#and usually normals in the UK don't snap him doing it#jesus christ the BULLSHITTERY around the larrie talking point of 'he must be working--he's only seen when he wants to be seen--etc.'#which is there to somehow justify when louis is NOT seen lmao vs ANYONE else#sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee#keep tellin' yourself that!#reach for the stars (they're just like us!)!#i keep thinking about nick's REAL birthday party tho and it just makes me so sad#i thought this must have been an older picture--given how much he was talking about the pre-celebrations#(and obviously didnt talk about the day itself)#I'm glad if he's still celebrating and meeting up with people who want to come support him no matter their current status#that shit was so scary
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If you see me posting motivational memes in excess please forgive me
#a sock speaks#I'm going to battle to the death with my instinct to self sabotage via procrastination#grad school tag#last week I just sat and felt bad about myself instead of relaxing or working#how am I going to finish this degree if I dread every little assignment?#I have got to find what I love in this somehow#it's not so terrible. I have a little assignment on Pharisees this week and I have. thoughts. so that's good#I ought to post the Bible Odyssey article link here. Pharisees get a bad rap and they deserve more nuance.#I've also got an annotated bibliography which is not scary except inasmuch as I fear the inconvenience of labor#and then a revision of the Jeremiah paper I basically haven't touched since May. that's the scary part#also a Hebrew quiz and translation assignment and a bajillion pages of reading but those are problems for Monday-Wednesday#if I get the revision the Pharisees assignment and the annotated bibliography done tomorrow then Monday will be so easy#unfortunately I don't believe in my strength of will that much#today I found a site that has you progressively acquire NT Greek vocab. I just watched a show and did vocab for like 4 hours nonstop#I am not immune to inertia
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tears in my eyes over this
#there truly is nothing in this world she enjoys more than riling him up and he always. takes. the. bait.#the way she asks him what's going on that night knowing full well she was going to drop this on him#the way she says she has a date then turns to look right at him#her little grin when she admits it's not a 'date' date - it looks like she's holding back a laugh#which would not surprise me at all she loves seeing his reaction (as she should)#meanwhile mr memory palace is sitting there short circuiting over the words 'lisbon' and 'date' being in the same sentence#(because his poor little neurons can't quite make the connection to 'with me' yet#but they keep rejecting the idea of her and anyone else too)#somehow i never considered his jealousy being so 'does not compute' but it's absolutely perfect i'm having the best time#(there is a scary possibility on the other end of this but i'm not thinking about that now i'm having fun now thank you)#fischer sitting in the driver's seat like 'how has everyone else dealt with this for 10 years'#tm
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me at 15: I think I have ADHD and autism and ocd and bpd and and and
me at 17: nah I was being silly I don't really have most of those things. maybe ADHD.
me now at 22: yeah no I have ADHD and autism and ocd and bpd and
#like genuinely the only explanation for my behavior the last week or so is BPD#i flipped out and pushed my bf away emotionally cause i assumed he would wanna break up with me#i have rapid weird mood swings#i spent so many days in a row wanting to punish myself by doing reckless shit like drinking heavily or dojng drugs i dont even do#my usual one is overworking myself at work which ismt good either#the ocd i know i have now cause its just reassurance type ocd which explains so much#the more i talk to my bf who is also most likely autistic the more i realize i am definitely autistic#which is funny when i remember when i was a kid and learned about autism and was like 'omg itd be so scary if i had that and didnt know'#i definitely have always had depression and anxiety#only just now realizing my depression is so bad i really do need anti depressants#cause i cant make any decisions or do anything without thinking im a terrible person and wanting to punish myself somehow#which is just. fucked#i cant make a mistake without thinking im worthless#and pushing everyone out of my life so they dont have to deal with me but then being miserable that i pushed them away#and then spiralling from there
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i need to be asleep but i'm looking at the tax return money i have stashed away and wondering just how much of a quality upgrade i should make in terms of mixing headphones
#the brand i've been using has served me fairly well#but i don't know if they're still in production because the last ones i've ordered came worn/damaged and had to be returned#and my current pair is Quite Literally hanging on by a thread#(read: it is taped together with electrical tape and a large tongue depressor to replace the broken hinge)#(and has a small bead jammed into the cup joint to prevent it from swinging outwards)#(and i have to put a folded sock on my head to counteract the compressed headband foam)#so i've been thinking i ought to upgrade just a bit from the $20 range to perhaps the $50 range#but i'm staring at the company i'm thinking about ordering from and wondering if i should just#go ahead and spend a little more to get a slightly more sensitive and collapsible studio-level pair#but spending more is scary ! ! ! !#what if they're bad ! ! !#what if they sound terrible and feel bad and get lost in the mail when i try to return them ! ! !#or what if they sound so so good all my mixing things will sound terrible no matter what ! ! !#or well i'm not sure how to describe that last fear but i think it basically amounts to#what if it makes vocal synth voices sound bad somehow#ughhgh i know it'll be better for me in the long run to invest now while i have the option#because no doubt the more expensive pair will last longer and give me better quality results#(evidence: an astounding number of people reporting they've used theirs for 5-10 years with no sound decay)#as opposed to my current ones which i've had to replace every 3 years#$70 for potentially 10 years of good audio . . . .#which is roughly what i'd be paying with the cheap pair but with only mid-tier audio#h m m m m m#i'll sleep on it i guess . . . .
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one of my biggest media pet peeves is putting actual witches in salem i'm the kind of dork who thinks that actually makes it less interesting
#what's more interesting there are actual nefarious forces at play in salem OR religious weirdos go nuts and start killing each other??#i know my answer.#it also obscures the historical truth a bit yk bc now these people (overwhelmingly women) are being persecuted for being actual witches#instead of the real reasons they were persecuted which is that they were all somehow marginalized in their community#they were women they were old they were kinda weird or mean or poor and their neighbors turned on them and killed them#isn't that awful?? isn't that so sad?? isn't it viscerally terrifying????#even without the ~spooky witchcraft~ this is a scary story because this is who we are!!!! we do these things to each other!!!!!#also it feels a teeny bit disrespectful if the victims knew about this shit they would be haunting you like crazy they'd be so mad
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