#WHICH CONNECTS TO CATHOLIC FUNERALS

[btbonescanon]

if 7x09 (ashes, ashes) really has a death in the diaz family and this connects eddie's journey even more to his catholic guilt i am seriously going to lose my fucking mind

[fromgoy2joy]

I have been… biting my tongue from saying things. 

Partially because I’m not “really Jewish” (on the way to it via conversion), and because I didn’t want this blog to be political. 

But I realize I want this page to be a safe space. If anyone takes issue with what I’m about to say, I don’t want them on this page. 

I joined the college jewish community very shortly after 10/7 and was immediately welcomed in. There was no separation between me and the girl who had gone to orthodox shul all her life and was the head of the state youth group. I was told explicitly  “you are one of us. And together, we are mourning. We have lost our people and so have you.” 

Still I felt no authority to speak on things as insidious as antisemitism until recently. But how many times do you have to experience an antisemitic incident until you get to stand up? 

Six. The answer is six. 

Since explicitly aligning myself with Jewishness, I have lost friends who told me I have “dual loyalties” in so many words. I’ve been ostracized in events because we were singled out . I’ve been followed back to my dorm room from events by people hurling genocide accusations at me- white girls wearing keffiyahs who don't know anything about the Nakba when I try to connect with them about how awful it was.

My face was used in a local “fight jew hate” campaign” where I’m in a group of people with clearly middle eastern descent. But what circulated around my campus was my blonde hair and blue eyes, with people using laughing emojis.

“This is who we’re supposed to be defending!? Bitch please! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣” 

(Which is perfectly ironic because they singled out the person who wasn't ethnically Jewish and focused on her. )

Campus security and the disciplinary office knows me quite well from all the reports I've filed whether for me or other people.

I leave campus for breaks. Even though I’m returning to my highly Catholic conservative family, I breathe a sigh of relief. I don't have to look over my shoulder constantly or check myself in the surroundings I'm in. I already feel the dread about returning in January.

What hurts is the blindness- the lack of nuance- that is being given. Every single Jewish person at my school is not a self described zionist, other than that they acknowledge Jewish indignity to the land, and that there was a reason for the creation of Israel- not even justification in the current state or the matter it came about.

But they- and we- shouldn't have to prove ourselves. We shouldn't be debating if we should fundraise for Gazans (we are) in case someone accuses us of "lying about our intentions" or if we'd be pointed out as "the good jews!" They shouldn't have to have a tab open on their computer for Israeli passports, even though they desperately don't want to leave the United States. I shouldn't have to wonder whenever I'm at a synagogue "If I get killed here in a terrorist attack before being immersed in the mikvah, will I get a Catholic or Jewish funeral?"

But that never mattered. Our voices never did. Unless the antisemitism came from a high school dropout neo-nazi with a shaved head and swastika jacket, it's never going to matter.

I will never forget- even as I advocate for Palestinians, call for a ceasefire, and donate. Or any other cause where I'll be marching besides these activists I can never call well meaning.

I could go on and on about it. But I won't be able to write it out in this post.

All I know is when the counsel of rabbis ask me if I'm ready to be apart of an unpopular group, I'm going to have to fight myself from laughing at the question

[simply-ellas-stuff]

Someone commented on one of my posts that Alicent not comforting aegon was because she had him at 15.

Strained relationship, yes. Unable to connect and bond with him, yes. Awkward as fuck around him, yes.

However.

It is basic human empathy and sympathy to comfort someone crying hysterically in their bedroom after the death of their child. You hug them, you apologize, you put a hand on their shoulder.

It doesn't matter that it was Aegon. Or Helaena for that matter. A father's son was just murdered. And Alicent leaves him alone to sob hysterically. A mother just had to choose between her son and daughter and *saw* and *listened* to her sons head be cut off. And Alicent tries to talk to her about being caught having sex with Cole.

Regardless of circumstances. Someone as pious and emotional as Alicent should have been able to comfort both Aegon and Helaena in that moment.

And, to apologize to Helaena for her being forced to join in parading her dead son outside surrounded by strangers that clearly made Helaena wildly uncomfortable.

Her concern regarding getting caught with criston when speaking to Helaena, who looks like she hasn't slept in days after having to choose which child would die, and her ability to just walk away from aegon, who is sobbing hysterically, shows there is something else going on with Alicent.

Either her own catholic guilt regarding Jaehaerys not having a guard because she was having sex with with the guard, bad writing, or Alicent just completely disassociating her children until they are nothing more than pawns as a way to Cope. She does not see them as people. She does not see them as people to comfort.

Dyana, a stranger raped by Aegon, saw more comfort from Alicent than Aegon or Helaena did this episode. Aemond, when he lost an eye, saw more comfort from Alicent than Aegon or Helaena did this episode.

Regardless of reasons, I think we can all agree that it was cruel of her to walk away from Aegon while he's sobbing into his hands and it was wildly inappropriate to bring up what Helaena saw while Helaena is actively grieving her son in his bedroom and holding his funeral shroud.

[house-of-mirrors]

Brief summary of Firmament 3 for whoever needs it:

1. The fire from the dream wanted us to go to Zenith to find and free the prisoner within. Zenith is the opposite of the Nadir; the highest point of the neath full of violant rather than irrigo.

2. We arrive at Zenith and find out it's home to a cult that worships "the immanent" which is the prisoner. There's a weird blood ritual and idol worship vibe that is very Catholic in symbolism. :/ The cult's activities include sacrificing moon misers for their milk to mix with violant and keep the prison and prisoner strong (? I think that's the motive)

3. The forlorn shepherd used to belong to the cult but was excommunicated after he tried to subvert the rites to save his moon miser but he failed. You can influence him to reject his faith or return to it

4. The player bonds with a moon miser in order to participate in the ritual and enter zenith

5. We enter zenith with blindfolds to protect against violant radiation and go through the repeatable activity. This is a place where the vulgates store apocrypha which are false histories that aren't allowed to exist. "What should not have been."

6. At the top we find the prisoner, the immanent, who says he has to change in order to escape his prison. If you've played sunless skies this is the rule of Piranesi prison which is owned by the Halved. Why is a prison belonging to a different judgement with no relation thus far to the plot being referenced here in the neath? I don't know either.

7. You see the immanent's memories of life in the high wilderness, a trip to the neath, and his love for the lord he served. We learn the immanent used to be a message stamped on the back of a messenger before it was brought to the Forge of Souls, which was a place in the Blue Kingdom from skies where inanimate things were made into living things. The immanent was given life to serve in law enforcement as harbinger of law. Every time a crime against the chain was committed, he arrived like a lightning bolt ahead of his lord to announce the imminent death of the criminal, who would be erased from existence and memory. He fell in love with his lord which in and of itself was one of the chain breaking crimes they worked to punish. The pair somehow discovered the neath, before it contained hell or the shapelings or the bazaar. The immanent's lord died here.

8. There are several possible endings:

A. Free the immanent with the shepherd having rejected his religion. The immanent escapes and creates a thunderstorm to announce the death and funeral of his lord and the oncoming punishment of lawbreaking.

B. Free the immanent with the shepherd having embraced his beliefs. The shepherd and immanent merge into one being, presumably the shepherd is now like the avatar of a higher being. They desire to bring light to the dark parts of the neath.

C. Leave the immanent imprisoned to prevent him from enforcing law.

9. Whatever you choose, the vulgates, which are the guardians of the apocrypha, attack you for trespassing. We learn that for some reason, motive as of yet unknown, the vulgates are trying to release apocrypha rather than contain them. We have to fight the vulgates and stop them. You escape through violant and The Last Duchess sees a ghostly vision of her former kingdom, Ghent, as it never was. She later mentions her stepmother narrowly subverted an attempt by the masters to buy Ghent. Here, the player sees a vision of a familiar but undetermined place scarred by war.

10. After seeing the ghostly blood red palace, the last duchess says you have to find it next. The team agree that something big is brewing on the roof. Something is awakening and there's no telling what destruction it will wreak. The whale/flood was only one apocrypha they tried to release. We find another entry to the library in Zenith as well.

11. Two possible theories in regards to the connection to neath lore. Either the immanent's lord was Storm, given the connection to lightning and law enforcement, or Salt, given the references to hunger and cold light. Both of them might be involved in the overarching plot of Firmament. We don't know yet.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully moments from s3

walking to her mother’s house barefoot in episode 1, after having been placed on leave for her involvement in the quest to smuggle secret alien files- how she falls into her mother’s arms, says she made a terrible mistake, and that dad would be so ashamed of her (my heart melted out of my body… she did the right thing and still doubted herself 🙁)

and then even AFTER she was removed from her job, she visits skinner’s office with information on the case- when he suggests she’s just trying to get her job back, she is indignant and explains that it is about finding answers and saving her friend (she had AN INTENSE fury in her eyes that skinner would suggest that, i love when she is filled with righteous rage and driven by the quest to Do The Morally Right Thing no matter what)

attending mr. mulder’s funeral, and telling mrs. mulder she knows her son with be found, even if she isn't sure why she holds that belief

and this is STILL in episode one, but when she is convinced skinner is trying to kill her and she is NOT playing around, holding him at gunpoint- “don’t think i won’t do it, you son of a bitch”, she says, to which he replies “no, i believe you” (he knew he was in danger!!)

they need to know a certain number- napier’s constant- in episode 2 to get into the secret disease center in west virgina, and she knows it off the top of her head (it’s 27,828 for those who are curious) (when she knows random facts my heart skips some beats)

and in the same episode, when they’re about to embark on learning some dark secrets on mulder’s father in the disease center archives, scully wants to know if he will be okay, because “i just know how it would affect me” (she is so thoughtful...)

scully not believing any of the things clyde bruckman is predicting in episode 4 until he starts talking about how mulder will be attacked, and then all of a sudden she is tuned in

(and her whole relationship with bruckman- how she asks him how she’ll die even though she is terrified, and how he refuses to answer and burden her with that knowledge; how they play poker and talk about macbeth; how she feels that he has no joy in his life due to his abilities, real or imagined; how she listened to his prediction about mulder’s death and was there to save him; and how she cries when he ended his life)

“a woman gets lonely. sometimes she can’t wait around for a man to get reincarnated” <- tea (said in episode 5)

in episode 7, she is listening to a man describe his symptoms, and she writes a note and passes it to mulder. not even sure why this was so endearing to me- the combination of her Doctor Mode and seeing the tiny details of her passing notes, perhaps? but i loved it

in the same episode, the people from the military were trying to stop their investigation, and she put her foot down, point blank telling the general to “make himself available”, and calling out the obstruction and hidden details on the case. i love when she is full of righteous rage

when she saves mulder by finding the code to disarm the bomb in episode 10 by going to his house and playing his $29.95 autopsy video frame by frame... a hero on many levels

ALL OF EPISODE 11… her catholic lore dropping (how she knows the number of stigmatics in the world at one time, the saints whose bodies didn’t decompose, and how st. ignatius could be in two places at once), her connection with the little boy, him asking if she was sent to protect her and her believing it, promising she won’t let him be hurt, convincing mulder to let the kid come to the hotel with them, running him a bath (and mulder’s fake pout- “you never draw my bath”), when she becomes convinced the kid is at the recycling plant, and he is, so she saves him with a miracle... and when he says they’ll see each other again <3

the “i… believe in the idea that god’s hand can be witnessed. i believe he can create miracles, yes” “even if science can’t explain them?” “maybe that’s just what faith is” exchange with mulder

THIS NEXT ONE…

“how is it that you’re able to go out on a limb whenever you see a light in the sky, but you’re unwilling to accept the possibility of a miracle, even when it’s right in front of you?” “i wait for a miracle every day, but what i've seen here has only tested my patience, not my faith” “well, what about what i’ve seen?” (screaming. i am screaming. he is so quick to believe in anything except what she has put her faith in, and she rightfully stood up for herself against his disbelief, even if he didn't mean to be offensive, and he should take her seriously even in matters of god, and i need to stop typing or i will keep going for hours)

the way she goes to confession at the very end, telling the priest she doubts what she has seen because mulder did. and he responds that perhaps the miracles were meant just for her. how she says that she is scared that god is speaking, but no one is listening. she’s so haunted by what she has seen and the need to get justice for it, but still, god sent her a miracle, so there is hope.

screaming... i just LOVE that episode so much…

seeing her at home during episode 12- reading breakfast at tiffany’s, cleaning her gun and chatting on the phone, bathing the dog, eating ice cream out of the carton, and answering all of mulder’s obscure medical questions

and how annoyed she is with mulder’s infatuation with “dr. bambi” lmao she clocked it SO fast

in episode 15, she tears up when skinner says those above him are interested in closing her sister’s case; she becomes furious that they can seemingly solve every crime but this one (and bonus points for skinner fighting for her, even though it nearly killed him <3)

in the same episode, she immediately identifies the type of plane she is looking at as a north american p-51 mustang, because she used to watch her father and brothers build model planes

in episode 16, she visits skinner in the hospital and takes charge- making sure he is guarded at all times, that the investigation on who attacked him moves forward. and how she grabs his hand before he is wheeled into surgery and then visits him to ask how he is feeling when he wakes up

(and when she puts together that whoever shot skinner was also the person who shot her sister… truly in her detective era)

saving skinner’s life later in the episode, confronting the gunman, and how she screamed and screamed, asking if he was the one who killed her sister. god, that broke me. i need to analyze it for a few weeks

“i think the dead are speaking to us, mulder. demanding justice” <- it’s so tied to her fundamental need to do the correct thing and augh. she wants to find answers for her sister so terribly. she deserves them

in episode 17: (incredibly deadpan) “please explain to me the scientific nature of the whammy” (some people write her as too serious to be funny and it's like... are we watching the same show because she has me dying)

when she agrees with mulder’s theory that somehow the pusher is bending people to his will, even if she has no way to explain it- yet! a big moment!!!

she also immediately identifies the movie playing at the pusher’s house as svengali, further proving her horror movie fan status

(plucking a rat out of a car in episode 18) “label that” “as what?’ “partial rat body part” <- this killed me

(also, when she wipes blood off of mulder’s face in the woods... terribly intimate)

she makes a stupid joke about the organ trafficking victim leaving his heart in san francisco in episode 19 and it makes mulder laugh

her being such a big fan of jose chung in episode 20 and agreeing to meet him even though mulder refused. when he later mentions another of his books she gets so excited she says it is “one of the greatest thrillers ever written” … nerd <3

scully being mortified that she was featured in a late night television clip of an alien autopsy (she was autopsying a normal human being in an alien costume, but one thing led to another and now her face was briefly on the stupendous yappi show!! so embarrassing for a woman of science!!)

how she tells jose chung that their case might not have a lot of closure, but it's more closure than they usually get (while fidgeting with her flower-shaped earrings)

(and then when she reads his final book, she is described as “noble of spirit and pure of heart” but “nevertheless a federal employee” which had to both please her immensely and make her laugh)

there’s this moment in episode 21 where she is on the phone with mulder while driving in what looks to be a torrential downpour, and i cannot explain why it was so funny to me. it just was. she is flooring it through a damn hurricane to get there and it makes me laugh.

watching her slowly lose her grip on reality in episode 23 until she becomes convinced it was mulder who was behind her abduction… how she calls him and only flatly asks “where are you?”, how she holds mulder at gunpoint, certain he abducted her and killed her sister. how her mother finally convinces her that she is safe, which causes her to fall into her mother’s arms, sobbing. gooooooooosh...

when she hears someone was shot in episode 24 but somehoe miraculously recovered, so she just lifts up his shirt to examine his stomach without asking. it had me giggling!! she is entering Doctor Mode, decorum be damned, that dude's tummy WILL be inspected.

and then using all of her Doctor Mode knowledge to assure mulder that his mother has a chance at a good recovery, and trying to book a motel room for him to be by her side in the hospital; when he refuses and insists on going back to work, she tries to remind him he hasn’t slept in forever to no avail (these two will watch out for each other and it kills me every single time)

[respectthepetty]

Tagged in by @elizabethsebestianhedgehog @telomeke @wen-kexing-apologist @pandasmagorica (I'm missing someone. I know it.)

Current time: When do we roll back time? Today? Tomorrow? My current time is time is abstract, and I don't understand Daylight Savings.

Current activity: I just got back in from a Día de Muertos celebration the local funeral home was holding at a cemetery. Very quirky. Very small town. I loved it! Now, I *should* be grading, but instead I'm booking the hotel for a wedding I'm attending on Friday. I'm dragging my feet since I don't believe in marriage, but I'll show up in the name of friendship.

Currently thinking about: Why I'm into Dan x Shadow.

Current favorite song: I went to the When We Were Young Music Festival again this year a few weeks ago, so I'm fully in my emo feels, which means I'm listening to the most toxic songs like Bring Me the Horizon's "Die4u" with lyrics like "'Cause the truth of it, you could slit my wrists, and I'd write your name in a heart with the hemorrhage"

It's very Eddie coded. It has the lyric "I keep holding my breath for a miracle" which really just rubs salt in the Kiseki (aka Japanese for miracle) wound right now waiting for confirmation that Chen Yi is alive and well in this finale.

Currently reading: It should be students' essays, but I attended a lecture yesterday from Dr. Jody Shipka over Edible Rhetorics where she talked about recipes as a valid form of composition and technical writing as well as the narratives involved in them, so now I'm reading her book Toward a Composition Made Whole, which calls for people to move composition off of the page, and as an emo with plenty of Converse that have lyrics written on them, this hits me in all the right spots.

Currently watching: What am I not watching would be an easier question because I'm watching all the shows, all the time, but I'm about to rewatch ALL of Kiseki: Dear to Me before the finale because I'm obsessed with it. I'm also stuck on episode four of Shadow because the theme of "praying away the trauma" is really hitting my Catholic heart hard.

Current favorite character: EDDIE! All roads lead to my Multicolored Menace. He stole my heart in the very first scene when he said not to look back then tried to run away from Chen Yi, and my love for him has only expanded each episode as he continues to be the most colorful character on the outside in bright cardigans yet the darkest on the inside, just like me! If only he wore black nail polish with his chokers, then it really would be me.

Current WIP: I'm presenting on Polynesian rhetoric in a few weeks, and I'm connecting it to rap music since both are based on oral traditions and incorporate mastery wordplay even in everyday situations, but I'm trying to find "academically appropriate" examples since apparently "Pussy get popped, piñata" is too much for some people. *rolls eyes* Who knew?

Tagging no one because it always reminds me of MySpace Top 8, and I don't want my heart or favorites exposed like that.

[wolves-in-the-world]

tags on krakenartificer's post about a leverage au where nate enters the priesthood but ends up running cons for people who come to him for help anyway:

#now i need a crossover episode of catholic priest nate who's still running leverage style shenanigans #with father brown [via @trivalentlinks]

thank you for making me stare at the wall in fascination and horror about this crossover

they'd be occasional allies occasional confidantes they'd go behind each other's backs once or twice and only kinda regret it. This nate hasn't gone through the same loss as in canon, but that wouldn't make him a whole lot softer, so he'd be fundamentally irritated with father brown - his tested and unshakeable belief and his optimism about the human condition - and father brown would be generally concerned about everyone on nate's end, and nate not the least of it. They'd play chess together and be fairly well-matched. They'd visit each other's confessionals to check in.

we'd get some interesting acknowledgement of father brown's "I'm nice and simple and harmless" grift (which I could also call power negativity) which is only kind of a grift because he really is that nice and harmless beneath, except that he uses it to get information from people.

flambeau would be utterly thrilled and (playfully?) insulted not to be father brown's only criminal associate.

the leverage crew would be correctly suspicious of flambeau, I think, but sophie would greet him by name - possibly with a kiss to the cheek, possibly eyeing him like he's a viper in their midst - and reference some very improbable occasion when they were after the same prize. He mentions she was using a different name then; he doesn't say what it was. Bonus points if he also had his eye on the dagger in the Rashomon Job but had the flu / was unexpectedly in prison / had to attend a grandmother's funeral at the time.

I have this certainty in my mind that the leverage crew would be largely dismissive of sid's abilities and he'd kind of snort and roll his eyes about it - he's at worst a common criminal and very lower class, so he's used to being understimated - and surprise them with his connections or lock-picking or holding his own in a brawl or fixing an elderly car in the quickest dirtiest way imaginable. (Parker would decide she likes him then; the others would be reassured after seeing how gentle he is when talking with her.) He'd also nope out of leverage's business at a sensible time, because father brown's rubbed off on him and he doesn't actually want that kind of danger - unless the con's personal.

(I'm not sure whether to set this in leverage time or drag it back to father brown's 1950s so I'm settling for mashing the two together and pretending it's not an issue. See also: geography.)

… father brown would have I think one harrowing conversation with eliot where they mention their time in the military, the marks that killing people and losing people leaves on a person - father brown already does this in canon, tells someone it's unfair that they're mired in trauma and alcoholism when he found his faith through trauma instead, it floored me - and after brushing on repentance and god here, he wouldn't bring it up with eliot again. (I think father brown varies on this in canon, frankly, but he often respects that kind of boundary, and I think he'd recognise a wound so sore it should be left to heal however it can.)

(yes I'm playing with fictional priests like barbie dolls but no I'm not comfortable with the conversion aspects, so apologies and bear with me while I skate on past that.)

(he'd describe eliot as a good person, once, or as someone working very hard at it. Eliot would be on edge about that for the entire con, finding a little too much uneasy satisfaction in getting to knock people out and play the bad guy - play at the simpler stuff he used to do. Sophie might catch father brown for a word about it; father brown wouldn't be that clumsy again.)

I think father brown and nate would both talk bunty out of getting involved in a joint kembleford-leverage operation except in the most innocent way possible. The problem is she actually would make a good getaway driver, and she's thrilled with the idea, but she's already had some run-ins with the press and the law and can't risk another; luckily she's better used as a distraction elsewhere.

and I'm sorry to do this, but I think lady felicia's husband would be a mark or potential mark at one point. It would be fraught.

(the main reason I haven't recommended father brown's heist episode (s7e10), aside from not having a background on the politics in it, is that it shows lady felicia as a victim and pulls the heist on her behalf. The show largely convinced me to ignore the messy reality of her and her husband's inherited wealth, but that episode made me kinda uncomfortable - which is a shame, because seeing these characters pull a heist was fucking great.)

mrs mccarthy would be used against her will or knowledge as a distraction while someone's pockets are picked. She isn't told until afterwards, and then only half by accident. She is, of course, horrified. Father brown was absolutely the one to suggest it in planning, but flambeau slips in mid-apology to smoothly take the blame.

I could in fact go on and this is in fact a problem.

—

editing to continue:

I'm actually thinking that father brown might approach eliot from an ex-military angle and not a Religious Authority angle at all - eliot was raised protestant, after all, and it's an entirely different vibe. And I have to think eliot's guarded around father brown for the very fact that he's a priest and seems to mean it in a way that nate, I feel, wouldn't. So they may avoid the topic entirely, or as close to it as they can when brushing on, well, eliot's entire moral injury situation. Which is good news for me.

bunty would admire parker for being different and capable and getting up to exciting things, though would probably fail at any attempts at friendship until she thinks to ask what parker likes doing and ends up learning to pick pockets that evening. The second those two are around buildings tall enough to rappel down she's in danger. (The second parker can slip away at night she's giving the church a go; father brown gives her a look the night before and quietly warns her about the dodgy roof.)

mrs mccarthy decides fairly quickly that hardison is a very nice young man (his nana instincts are online and functional) even if he spends far too much time on the wretched computer. She's determined to feed him and half the time he's determined to find ways to politely refuse, though the strawberry scones are actually pretty good.

she's appalled by eliot's job, and fiercely territorial of her kitchen when he offers help, even just cleaning up, but once she's seen him get in the way of trouble she's absolutely catching his arm and half hiding behind him in any crisis real or perceived. (She still doesn't approve of him.)

lady felicia sees hardison and eliot as two very different kinds of novelties and does some talking to hardison about tech (mostly listening and marveling) and some quietly ogling both of them, and especially eliot once she's seen him fighting. (Eliot unfortunately turned on his charm when he realised she sort of expected it. She doesn't get to chat with charming southern gents all that often - it's very shallow, and she's not serious about it.)

thank goodness bunty's too young for eliot so I don't have to go there. He has to tuck her out of sight in a barn at some point when trouble's headed their way; when the mess is almost cleaned up and she's grabbed a rifle from somewhere to tell the the remaining goon to clear off, with every appearance of competence, eliot takes it from her and disarms it with a smear of blood under his nose and a slightly betrayed expression.

hardison and sid get along, aside from a little initial insecurity on the parker front, and get to bitch a bit about flambeau, who hardison mistrusts from the start.

flambeau... he admires parker, from a distance - professionally and not very effusively - but after he watches her work for a while he seems to realise who she was trained by, and tells her as much. He says he was too, for a very short time, and it's unclear if he'd gain anything from making it up. Says that he and archie had a difference of opinion - and has a way of saying it that implies there might have been fire involved.

[calabria-mediterranea]

The Story Of Natuzza Evolo: Calabrian Mystic

Natuzza was a Calabrian mystic who acted as a medium and healer, showed evidence of stigmata, and could “bi-locate” — be in two different places at once. She is also connected with “hemography,” which is when blood stains miraculously transform into symbols, shapes, and even words, particularly Christian ones like crosses.

Natuzza was born in 1924 in Paravati, a tiny hamlet near Mileto in Calabria. Her given name is Fortunata, from which the diminutive “Natuzza” comes. Natuzza’s father had left for Argentina a few months before she was born, and he never returned, leaving Natuzza’s mother alone to care for her newborn as well as her other children.

Natuzza never learned to read or write and helped support her mother and siblings by working for local families. She allegedly began having her first visions as a small child — Jesus, it is said, appeared to her as a boy who played with her and one of her brothers — but her brushes with the dead didn’t become popular knowledge around town until she began experiencing them as a young teen at work.

And it wasn’t just apparitions with Natuzza, even as a child. At her First Holy Communion, her mouth reportedly filled with blood when the wafer symbolizing the body of Christ was placed inside. At her Confirmation, a large stain of blood in the form of a cross formed on the back of her shirt.

Because of Natuzza’s experiences with the paranormal, as a young woman she was closed in an asylum with a diagnosis of "hysterical syndrome" for a few months by the local priest and was not permitted to enter a convent to become a nun.

Natuzza became known for the appearance on her body of blood-coloured images and words around the time of Easter and these caused her great psychological and physical pain. Some of the words were found to be Hebrew and Aramaic which was strange because she could not read or write, even in her native Italian. For decades devout Catholics from Calabria, then the rest of Italy and other parts of the world, began coming to her to ask for advice and prayers and to ask her for information about the souls of their relatives.

In addition to seeing Jesus, Natuzza also claimed to have also seen and communicated with the Virgin Mary, angels, and the dead, particularly souls in purgatory, throughout her life.

Natuzza was also considered a healer, credited with being able to look at a person and tell them what was ailing them, physically — using formal, medical terminology — as well as suggest treatments. She could also see the future and sometimes spoke in languages she didn’t know (remember, again, she was illiterate). In fact, some of her blood stains even transformed into phrases in foreign languages.

However, Natuzza never accepted money for what she did or was accused of participating in anything fraudulent based on her abilities, which, in the eyes and hearts of many, lend credence to her and her followers’ claims.

"It's a question of removing the suggestive religious context from the event. It doesn't allow rational reading since it cloaks it in mythology and unprovable hypotheses," says the Italian Committee for the Checking of Pseudoscientific Claims, or CICAP.

The group believes the so-called stigmata cases are really examples of Gardner-Diamond syndrome, "a skin condition that, although rare, is well documented in medical literature." The syndrome gives rise to a series of periodic, painful and bleeding bruises of unclear origin, combined with psychiatric disorders such as self-harm.

Although she’s relatively unknown internationally, Italians have been fascinated by Natuzza for generations as she has been a popular subject of books and various Italian television programs.

After Natuzza passed away on All Saints’ Day in 2009, about 30,000 people traveled from all over Italy and beyond for her funeral in rural Calabria. One-hundred priests and six Italian bishops were also in attendance.

Follow us on Instagram, @calabria_mediterranea

[barnbridges]

On Denomination Semantics, Church Authority, Bunny, Marion and Julian

I'll say that much, the Greek class is predominantly Catholic, with it being noted that Richard is a non-denominational Christian and Bunny being an Episcopalian.

"Bunny’s family was Episcopalian, and my parents, as far as I knew, had no religious affiliation at all; but Henry and Francis and the twins had been reared as Catholics;"

This established dynamic is a setup to a later conversation in the book, where Julian questions Richard on the changes in Bunny's behavior, attributing them to a possible conversion of either Bunny or Marion, wherein we learn she is a Presbyterian. All fun and good, we just learn that Bunny is so panicked Julian thinks he's having a mental breakdown, right? This is just foreshadowing to Bunny writing the confessional letter to Julian, right?

Upon closer inspection... why would we need to know, in particular, the specific denomination that Bunny holds, when his social status as a Protestant has already been established, and even less so Marion, who Richard doesn't even know?

Well, that is because the confessions are a metaphor for the structure in their lives.

The Roman Catholic Church is one of the three major divisions of Christianity in the Western World. It has a known structure, and it bases its belief both on the Christian Bible and the Papacy, with the structure of the Church as important as the religious text itself. It is a very rigid structure, and it is indeed, as Julian says, "a worthy and powerful foe".

Episcopalians on the other hand, are seen as a "halfway" point between the structure of the Catholics and the relative interpretative freedom of other Protestants. While the Episcopal Church is a Protestant denomination, meaning it does not hold the Pope as any authority, it has structures of authority (mainly, bishops and cardinals) and holds different views on sin as opposed to Catholics (as Francis ironically points out in the Epilogue).

The motto of the Episcopal Church is "Protestant, yet Catholic!", I kid you not. EDIT: The phrase "Protestant, yet Catholic" has been associated with the Episcopal Church and their beliefs.

Not relevant to the theological discussion, but the Episcopal Church also was founded in the US and is a very American phenomenon, being one of the most common denominations for American Presidents and wannabe DC political larpers as well.

A noteworthy detail is also that... the central book of Episcopalians is The Book of Common Prayer... Which Charles desecrated at Bunny's funeral service by using it to kill a wasp. This shows both the particular lack of respect the other characters have for non-Catholic tradition, but also their lack of connection to the gravity of such an act. Charles desecrated a religious text in a church, and it was a comedic moment. They are very in touch with reality /s.

"Charles had killed it with a resounding thwack from The Book of Common Prayer."

Presbyterianism is not a church, but rather a set of beliefs and principles. It is one of the most reformist of Protestant beliefs, and does not at all recognize the need for any religious authority or church to practice. Presbyterians believe in a personal relationship with God rather than a need for a house of worship or sin to practice. Presbyterians are also stereotyped as low class, again as our judgemental professor puts it "

"He had a habit of attributing all of Bunny’s faults indirectly to her—his laziness, his bad humors, his lapses of taste."

What this primarily means for interpreting our characters and their morals, is that Bunny finds himself at a middle-point between the strict hierarchy of the Greek class and the personal freedom afforded to him by decentralized beliefs. He has all his life existed in a state of "in between" authority and lack thereof, and Julian is questioning if the main force in his life that feeds the "contrary" impulse in Bunny is gone with Marion's hypothetical conversion.

This speaks mostly to that... our Julian was probably reared Catholic himself (calling it The Church... yeah he totally also was Catholic at some point), but has turned his back on the particular beliefs of the faith to where Richard finds him today. This also implies that of his 6 students, ironically enough, Bunny would be the one that has a relationship to religious authority most similar to Julian's own, and that has been since he joined the Greek class. This contempt would only grow larger as Bunny engages with people who care even less about religious authority than he does, which Julian might not like or respect, but certainly affirms Bunny as... uniquely able to challenge authority, and certainly the most "liberal" of his students on matters of authority. Bunny is the only one of them who indeed, has a girlfriend. A girlfriend that has been a problem to the Greek class that they simply do not want to even address her at all, to the point where Francis goes into prayer that she leaves Bunny.

It's also quite a touch ironic that after Bunny's death, the next one to question the hierarchy of the group, Charles, is coincidentally the one most influenced by Marion herself. Symbolically, Marion represents the "normalcy" and "gateway" from the Catholic-like structure of the Greek class, and Richard, Henry, Camilla and Francis' disregard and mockery of her presence is just a sign that they are quite far removed from any notion of leaving the cult of Julian or challenging why the belief in Classicism needs Julian for a God and Henry for a priest.

[simgirlsofhillsidehaven]

Meet the Girls

The family origins of Jamie Parish are shrouded in mystery. Indeed her very name comes from a juvenile mispronunciation of "Jane" or "Janie" and the surname Parish relates to the Catholic church where she was abandoned/found. Jamie was living a tough life in the system and most recently on the streets; until a fateful and booze-soaked night left her pregnant and in desperate need of help. Luckily she's found Hillside Haven and is now in a safer place.

Rose Williams was orphaned and injured in the vehicular accident which killed her parents. You can't often see the scar on her forehead, which she mostly keeps covered with a fringe. Rose has been at Hillside Haven the longest, staying with Vicky for several months now. She also had the most "normal" childhood of the three girls, at least, she was the only one to have both parents present while growing up.

Chloe Samuel is the newest resident of Hillside Haven. Hers is, potentially, the most dramatic story. Young Chloe lived with her artist mother (Zuri) and their beloved cat until one night when she was out in Totter Park a little too late and was viciously attacked by a stranger out of the dark. Chloe was pronounced dead and Zuri was making arrangements to bury her daughter when Chloe came back to life in the funeral home. Fortunately for Chloe, a small, connected faction of the Copperdale community know vampires are more than myth and they were able to secretly spirit Chloe to safety. Now Chloe must navigate a new hunger and a new world. As our story begins, she has yet to be reunited with her mother or classmates.

Vicky Martin is the bold, blonde paralegal who runs Hillside Haven. In her early thirties, Vicky has no children or partner as yet; but rather devotes herself to championing young girls in need. She has just recently been bought into the loop on the vampire front and Chloe is her first supernatural charge {as far as Vicky knows...}

Vicky is supported by her loving father Robert plus many colleagues and friends.

Her rules for Hillside Haven are fairly simple.

I) Speak the truth, always. Omit if you really must, but don't tell falsehoods.

II) Make your own bed (it's a small accomplishment but it sets one up for the day and declutters the room, clearing mind space).

III) No alcohol or drugs (if you're here, you're here for a reason, no need to go making problems worse).

IV) Curfew is 9pm (no late night shenanigans).

In return, Hillside Haven is exactly that. A safe space where residents can put the pieces back together and find their feet again.

[blueiscoool]

Roman-era Tomb Scattered with Magical 'Dead Nails' Found in Turkey

A 2,000-year-old tomb discovered in Turkey was sprinkled with "dead nails" and sealed off with bricks and plaster, likely to "shield the living from the dead."

In ancient Roman times, people may have feared the "restless dead," according to the discovery of a cremation tomb sprinkled with intentionally bent nails and sealed not only with two dozen bricks but also a layer of plaster, a new study finds.

The unusual grave, found at the site of Sagalassos  in southwestern Turkey and dating to A.D. 100-150, had 41 bent and twisted nails scattered along the edges of its cremation pyre, 24 bricks that had been meticulously placed on the still-smoldering pyre, and a layer of lime plaster on top of that. The individual — an adult male — was cremated and buried in the same place, an unusual practice in Roman times, according to the study, published Feb. 21 in the journal Antiquity.

"The burial was closed off with not one, not two, but three different ways that can be understood as attempts to shield the living from the dead — or the other way around," study first author Johan Claeys), an archaeologist at Catholic University Leuven (KU Leuven) in Belgium, said in an email. Although each of these practices is known from Roman-era cemeteries — cremation in place, coverings of tiles or plaster, and the occasional bent nail — the combination of the three has not been seen before and implies a fear of the "restless dead," he said.

The archaeological site of Sagalassos was occupied from the fifth century B.C. to the 13th century A.D. and boasts numerous examples of Roman-era architecture, including a theater and a bath complex. Following its abandonment, vegetation quickly overgrew the city, preserving it.

As part of the Sagalassos Archaeological Research Project, burials in the outskirts of the town were excavated and studied, including the "non-normative cremation." Typically, Roman-era cremations involved a funeral pyre followed by the collection of the cremains, which were put in an urn and then buried in a grave or placed in a mausoleum. The Sagalassos cremation, however, was performed in place, which the researchers could tell from the anatomical positioning of the remaining bones.

Even more unusual was the contrast between the grave goods and the closure of the tomb. The archaeologists discovered typical funeral items — fragments of a woven basket, remains of food, a coin, and ceramic and glass vessels. "It seems clear that the deceased was buried with all appropriate aplomb," Claeys said. "It seems likely that was the suitable way of parting with a loved one at the time."

Marco Milella, a research fellow in the Institute of Forensic Medicine at the University of Bern in Switzerland who was not involved in this study, said in an email that "I tend to agree with their conclusion" about the bent nails, which Milella said are frequently found in Western European cemeteries dating to the first to second centuries A.D. "The sealing of the remains is also interesting and tantalizing given its possible association with the deposition of nails," Milella noted. "Fear of the dead is a possibility, as well as amulets to protect the dead — or both, perhaps."

Claeys thinks that the man in this strange cremation grave was likely buried by his next of kin in a ceremony that would have taken days to prepare and carry out. The set of beliefs that encouraged people at Sagalassos to bury this man in an unconventional way are best understood as a form of magic, or an act intended to have specific effects because of a supernatural connection. It is possible that his odd burial was made to counteract an unusual or unnatural death; however, the researchers found no evidence of trauma or disease on the bones. Unfortunately, even though the "magic cremation" overlaps in time with other graves, Claeys said that "it cannot be established with certainty whether or not any family members were buried nearby," as DNA is usually destroyed by high temperatures in ancient cremations.

"Regardless of whether the cause of [the man's] death was traumatic, mysterious or potentially the result of a contagious illness or punishment," the researchers concluded in the study, it appears to have left "the living fearful of the deceased's return."

By Kristina Killgrove.

[kfedup]

It’s Sunday, yea?

1. Busy day yesterday with an early drive northwest to my friend’s father’s funeral, where the priest called him by another man’s name for most of the service. The plodding pace of sit, stand, kneel of the Catholic service sent me reeling back to my childhood. I remember being grateful when my family changed from a Roman Catholic Church to the one on campus that was less formal and I also remember how even there I rejected much of what I heard. I sat and stood there yesterday (I did not kneel) feeling like an alien interloper but grateful to be able to support my friends. I was one of 3 people wearing a mask and I sat in the back row by the open door. Lort the coughing coming from the full church was unholy. Fingers crossed the mask did the job.

2. Nothing prepares you for middle age and the precipice you teeter on trying not to slide into oblivion.

3. Visited with a good friend and her new mate last night for a few hours. So good to connect and remind each other of how far we have come since we first met 12 years ago. Her bf is a painter and gave me some pointers for how to approach my first acrylic self portrait. I’m excited to try.

4. I slept in and am on the couch in the quiet listening to the light rain and sipping my coffee. Read a chapter of the book Wintering by Katherine May and felt the urge to do a post. Will return to the book for a little longer after this while the house is still quiet.

5. There’s a chicken carcass in the instant pot becoming stock for something tonight. Perhaps the ginger chicken noodle soup I’ve been fantasizing about. Or perhaps a spicy white chili.

6. I need to do a few hours of work today and also grocery shop and do some basement clean out so I can move all the boxes of books out of the back of my car. Yeah, I know… they’ve been there for weeks. I’m struggling with getting certain kinds of things done around here.

7. I am ready for this year to be the year that I get to enjoy my own sexuality. It’s been six years since I have felt connected to that part of myself in a meaningful and fulfilling way. And that six years ago was only partially so… truly it’s been nine years since I felt truly turned on and tuned in for an extended period of time. Since I’ve looked in the mirror and seen my sensual self reflected there without having to talk myself into seeing her there.

8. Hey, a bonus… truth be told, I’m afraid that might not exist in me anymore. I’m aware that the fear is attached to the yoke of alcohol around my neck. But I remind myself that what I experienced all those years ago happened sober. Was the only time I’ve felt so richly in the deep water flow of my own being while connecting with another person in my entire life and I did not imbibe of anything but that energy. It’s just that the years that followed involved so much rye whiskey haze and these last two years sober the few times I tried to date… well… not great, Bob.

9. The extra bonus is that I’ve become quite satisfied with my life alone and am noodling around ideas for the next few years that might include solo travel and working truly remote for periods of time. Get to know some other places. Meet some new people. It will be good for me to crack open the habitual.

10. Hey, there’s more! I rebooted therapy last week after a four-year hiatus with a new practitioner. She’s much younger than me, which didn’t come across in her profile and my initial reaction when I met her was hesitation. She asked excellent questions and her areas of expertise include women in transition phases and addiction. I’ll give it a chance and am encouraging myself to remain open to different perspectives.

These are my more than seven Sunday thoughts. I hope your day is restful or productive or both if that’s what you need.

[catinfroghat]

About THAT succession filming location

Possible spoilers for season 4 below!

Succession was filming a funeral scene and there's been a lot of speculation about whose it could be.

Characters present on set: Kendall, Logan, Shiv, Roman, Connor, Greg, Karl, Frank, Hugo, Karolina, Matsson, Mencken, Sandi, Sandy, Jess, Willa, Colin

Not seen as far as I know: Tom, Gerri, any of the Pierces, Rava, Sophie, Iverson, Marcia, Ewan, Cyd, Kerry, Stewy

Top candidates:

Ewan

Pros: he's Catholic so the church would make sense, he wasn't seen on set, Greg's inheritance could come up again

Cons: why would a proud Scottish-Canadian have a funeral in New York? And I don't buy that he would be notable enough for all the characters plus paparazzi to be present at the event

Naomi

Pros: 4chan leaks suggested that she dies, possibly of an overdose

Cons: the Pierces are not Catholic and none of their family were spotted on set. These leaks seem false for other reasons too

Logan

Pros: seemingly the only character with connections with all the people seen on set, his failing health has been the subject of the entire show, also Catholic and is likely to have a large ceremony due to his fame

Cons: Brian Cox was seen on set, however it could be an open casket funeral. If there is a season 5 it may be difficult to keep up momentum without him. Some characters you would expect to be at his funeral were not seen e.g. Marcia, but they may have just not been spotted

Sandy

Pros: is already on his last legs due to syphilis (?). Also could give Sandi a chance to rise in the ranks

Cons: casting notices when they were filming at a funeral home last year were looking for a Stewy stand-in who would be "comfortable pushing a wheelchair" which suggests Sandy is still alive. Plus it's doubtful that he had connections with all the characters on set such as Matsson

Tom

Pros: would be kind of funny

Cons: I think Matthew Macfadyen is just very good at not being spotted in public tbh. Also I don't think Tom is notable enough to have a huge funeral like the one they were filming

Conclusion?

Idk... maybe Logan if I had to guess or maybe someone random

[gloomhowlers]

➳ Where The Sun Don't Ever Shine | Evelyn McDaniel Born and raised in Fall's End, Hope County, Evelyn McDaniel was someone everyone expected to never leave the county, especially when her brother left for Oxford University. After her mother's mysterious disappearance, she makes the decision to leave and gets a job in Helena, repeatedly coming back to visit her dad. Her visits grow more frequent when he's diagnosed with liver cancer, until his sudden death. The new arrivals in town have it out for her and she can't leave, stopping her every attempt to leave, so she stays and fights.

» Evelyn McDaniel/Joey Hudson » LGBT+, Family, Grief, Revenge » Warnings: Suicide, alcoholism, cancer, kidnapping, LGBT+phobia

➳ Sequel: The Venomous Head ➳ Playlist ➳ Masterlist ➳ OC tag: OC: Evelyn McDaniel ➳ Story tag: WTFE: Evelyn McDaniel ➳ Wattpad ➳ AO3

Prologue

Moving back to Fall’s End felt wrong, almost. But she did anyway – not that she had much choice. Evelyn knew her father would want to be buried in Fall’s End and nowhere else, and she couldn’t plan a funeral counties away. Besides, it made sense. Her girlfriend was planning to leave Hope County behind for her, to move in with her in her small Helena apartment, so Evelyn moved back home for the funeral instead.

Then again, if she was being honest, she had ulterior motives. Her father’s death was suspicious, and she had to figure out what happened.

But this? This wasn’t her. That she knew.

The black cotton dress felt awkward to wear, but her only black clothes were inappropriate for the occasion. Thank God her girlfriend was the same size as her, in terms of clothes, and let her borrow one of her dresses.

That didn’t explain why she was sitting in an empty church, however, which was also unlike her. She was never religious. Sure, she went to Sunday school and every service (mainly because her parents made her) but she didn’t believe. Now, she needed it. She almost craved it, in a way, to feel some connection to her mother.

No one in their family was religious. Not atheist, per se, but rather agnostic. Evelyn’s mother, however, came from a very catholic family. The Howells were deeply religious. No sex before marriage, no meat on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday … Despite not being religious himself, Stephen McDaniel still pursued Mary Howell and fell in love with her.

Even years later, with two children, he still loved her the same and went to church, despite his two children groaning and moaning at having to wake up early on a Sunday. Even after Mary disappeared, he still went.

And for the first time in her life, Evelyn understood why.

With her father gone now, she needed the comfort. A mother’s comfort. This was only a cheap imitation, but at that moment, it helped.

“Are you sure you want to be alone?” Joey asked, standing next to the pew Evelyn was sitting on. Her voice was so full of love and compassion that Evelyn couldn’t take it anymore.

She nodded, her movements limited as an ache took over her throat. Her cheeks, which had just dried, became wet with tears again. “I’ll be fine,” she whispered under shaky breaths.

Joey pressed a kiss to her temple, so light she barely felt it. She felt her presence disappear along with the clicking of her heels against the wooden floorboards.

Silence. Sweet, sweet silence.

Only an hour earlier, she sat in the same spot, her girlfriend tightly holding her hand in comfort as she cried, as Sheriff Whitehorse recounted a memory of her late father. They’d been good friends – so good that Stephen asked Earl to be the godfather of his daughter. It meant a lot to him and his wife at the time, who’d recently lost their own child. Now, they were the ones looking out for Evelyn – making sure she ate, slept, and took care of herself.

Everyone knew Stephen McDaniel’s death hit his daughter the hardest, because everyone knew that Evelyn was a daddy’s girl, while her brother James was a mommy’s boy. And just like she comforted him at her funeral years prior, he would do the same for her.

She recognized his footsteps, even after all these years.

James sat down next to her, pulling her against him by her shoulders. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t have to, he knew she didn’t want that. Instead, he waited until she spoke up – because if he spoke first, it’d be a sign of him pitying her which she hated.

“What did we do to deserve this?” she whimpered. James let out a sigh, pulling out a handkerchief and stuffing it in her hands.

The years hadn’t been kind to the McDaniels, at least not since the year 2003, when the peaceful town of Fall’s End was visited by Joseph Seed. At first, people assumed he was just a man – an innocent man, new to town, here to spend the rest of his life. How wrong they were.

Ever since then, things went downhill. A somewhat permanent strain was formed between Mary and Evelyn McDaniel when she came out as gay, which Evelyn later blamed herself for when her mother disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Then, after her funeral, Jamie moved to the United Kingdom for his studies, leaving Evelyn to care for her father who was struggling with substance abuse – alcohol – due to his wife’s death which he mourned. As if that wasn’t enough, he was diagnosed with liver cancer not long after recovering from his addiction, forcing Evelyn – who’d moved to Helena recently for work – to work less so she’d have more time to take care of her dad.

So, least to say, Jamie and Evie McDaniel had quite enough of it by now

“I don’t know,” James confessed truthfully, “But you know how us McDaniels are. We’re strong. We survive.”

“Do we?” Evelyn grunted, “Look at us, Jamie, dad’s dead, mom’s probably dead-“

“Eve,” he interrupted, knowing she’d only dig herself into a deeper hole if she rattled on. “I know it’s been tough… But dad would hate to see you like this,” he added, “After dad’s diagnosis, we promised each other that we’d never go that far. No matter what. Now, instead of going to the wake and being forced to pretend like we’re doing fine even though everyone knows we’re not, I’m gonna take you home.”

Evelyn turned her head to look at him in confusion. “But everyone’s gonna be waiting for us, and-“

“You heard me,” James chuckled dryly, “We’re gonna go home, and we’re gonna go through all our family albums. Even the embarrassing ones, like the time you wanted to teach Bubbles how to walk on two feet.”

“Shut up!” Evelyn sniffled, “He liked it!”

He stood up, reaching out to hold her hand. She took his hand in hers and accepted his help to get her up. “I’m gonna take you to the car,” James explained, “And then I’m gonna tell everyone I’m taking you home.”

The McDaniels lived in a decently sized house, right at the edge of town, but not close to the farmlands at the same time. The house itself was always a mess – not in a bad way, just in a way that showed you people lived there. Dirty dishes in the sink, stacks of unread books littering around the place, a scarf James forgot on his last visit, when he introduced his fiancée to the family …

Despite all the clutter, it was quiet now and had been for quite a while.

And it was in that state that Evelyn found it.

Usually, her dad would be awake from his afternoon nap, making dinner because he knew Evelyn was coming. He knew she'd bring a bottle of off-brand soda, because he preferred the taste even though Evelyn couldn't taste the difference.

The radio would play an old Johnny Cash song because they both liked his music and Stephen would do anything to make sure his little girl enjoyed her stay, even if said little girl was twenty-eight with a job in another city.

Instead, the house was eerily silent, except for the occasional 'plink' of a leaking faucet - which already made her suspicious.

Her father was a handyman. When she was younger and her mother needed something fixed, Stephen would've had it fixed before she even got to complain.

But that was then.

Evelyn had followed the sound and traced it to the bathroom upstairs. She knocked on the door, even though a sense of dread had filled her already. Somewhere she already knew it was too late.

Ever since then, she’s been sleeping over at Joey’s place – it didn’t feel right, like her father’s body was still in that bathtub and there was nothing she could do to stop the feeling of being haunted. But Jamie was with her now, and he always looked after her. But even then, she dreaded going back. She hadn’t set foot in the house ever since the coroner picked up her father’s body, and she didn’t leave the front porch until Earl came to pick her up and took her to his house.

It was a surprise to see his ex-wife there, but she had always liked Sandra. She didn’t like the pitiful stares they gave her, though. “Poor thing,” she heard Sandra tell Earl in the kitchen, “First her mother, now Stephen... Does James know?”

Despite the whispering, she heard how bad they felt for her. Evelyn knows she should be grateful for their support, and she is! But them looking down on her like she’s a poor child who needs support 24/7 became unbearable. Thank God Joey invited her to move in – Joey understood her. She didn’t look at her with sad eyes and worried eyebrows, but still hugged Evelyn when she needed it.

James was similar to her, except he handled the situation more maturely. He could just fake a smile and offer a thanks before moving on, which Evelyn never could because people always realized she wasn’t being honest. In this case, though, she didn’t have to fake anything, because Jamie knew what to do to make both of them feel better.

In the car, she took out the hair tie she loosely put her hair in, the blonde wavy curls falling over her shoulders. If only she had a change of clothes.

“Remember when dad promised we’d go to Disneyworld if I got good grades, and you won that game?” Jamie brought up after a moment of silence, the radio turned off just so they could talk.

“Mhm, I worked my ass off for that homerun,” she chuckled dryly, “And then mom announced we were going to some shitty, Christian theme park- and it closed early!”

“And to make it up to us mom took us to the fair we drove by earlier that week.”

“Yeah, she did...”

Evelyn felt her brother’s gaze on her for a brief moment. Their family had been a mess for a long time now, and Jamie leaving for Oxford didn’t help. It wasn’t like Evelyn expected him to stay in Fall’s End – in fact, the people around them expected him to be the one to move away from home for college, but those people thought of a different state, not a different country.

Sure, Evelyn hated having to deal with her mother’s disappearance and her father’s diagnosis on her own, but she didn’t hate Jamie for leaving. She could never hate him – besides, at least she saw her father more than Jamie did.

“Evie, listen,” he breathed out, “I... We still have each other, right? I know we don’t get to see each other as much but... Even in the UK, I’ll always be here for you. I’m just a call away.”

Evelyn bit back a sarcastic retort that almost came out instinctively, and instead offered him a weak smile. “I know,” she replied, “And-”

The sound of approaching sirens interrupted her. Jamie moved to the side, letting a fire truck pass. Their eyes followed the route the truck took, ending on a big cloud of smoke in the distance.

“Isn’t that...” Evelyn muttered, not needing to finish her sentence because it was obvious what she was implying.

Jamie confirmed her suspicions, “It is.”

With those final words, he pressed down on the gas pedal, speeding down the country road. “No. It can’t be,” she denied, “I-It’s too far a-and-”

“Eve, stay calm!”

“I am calm!”

Despite her claims, the volume of her voice did anything but prove she was calm, because she wasn’t. And neither was Jamie.

Their worst fears were confirmed when they drove onto the driveway.

Before the car had even stopped, Evelyn had jumped out, racing towards the house only to be held back by a firefighter. As Jamie caught up to her and held her back so the firefighter could continue their job, Evelyn sank to the ground, her screams deafened by the hoses.

Their white picket fence house was engulfed in a sea of flames, the wood boards falling as they slowly burned to ashes. The firefighters, try as they might, couldn’t control the inferno as it ruined the house. The fire only grew and took the house down with it.

James and Evelyn watched their childhood burn. And the firefighters couldn’t save a single thing.

The siblings sat at the edge of the property, right against the fence, after the firefighters blamed the fire on an ‘electrical fault.’

“They did this,” Evelyn sobbed.

Jamie, his eyes still red from the tears, looked at her, “Wha- Who?”

“Eden’s Gate. You know they did.”

“Eve, that’s... A big accusation-”

“You know I’m right!” she snapped, “They’ve been after the Ryes, the Fairgraves... Ma ‘n Pa did so much for Fall’s End. I mean... Ma goes missing, dad kills himself, and now our house burns down? You know this ain’t an electrical fault.”

He stayed quiet, because he knew she was right.

There was no denying the ‘pillars’ of the community were targeted. There’d been numerous attempts to steal Nick Rye’s plane after he refused to sell Rye & Sons Aviation, or Gary Fairgrave’s Widowmaker being stolen (and despite its particular appearance, no one had seen the truck anywhere).

Mary McDaniel’s disappearance had already been a strange case, but the misfortune that followed the family couldn’t have been a coincidence.

And the siblings knew that.

[conjuremanj]

Vodou. The Soul and the Body.

Unlike many of the commonly known Western spiritualities. Vodou looks at the individual human in a unique way. The Western view of a Body animated by a singular Soul is simple in relation to the Vodou which has many factors. These pieces are thought to be placed their by God during the creation of the individual life, and upon death are ritually separated and allowed to go to their separate destinations.

Animating the body, instead of a single ‘soul’, Vodouisants see two main principles/components, the Gro Bon Ange (big good angel) and the Ti Bon Ange (little good angel).

The Gro Bon Ange is the animating principle, a piece placed in the person at their creation by God (also known as the ‘life spark’, This is the individual’s “spirit”. an energy that gives life, motion, and bestows self awareness). Without this component, the person wouldnt be a person…

Upon the death of the individual and the completion of the funerary rites, the Gro Bon Ange is believed to return to its Maker.

The Ti Bon Ange, is seen as the seat of the personality where all the traits that define that person. Thoughts, memory, temperament, character, all are housed in the Ti Bon Ange. Ti Bon Ange has a more tenuous connection to the body, and in certain situations it can be be temporarily separated from its seat in the person’s head. Let me explained. Shock and trauma both of these can temporarily push away the Ti Bon Ange the spirit. (if you’ve ever seen or been a in a car accident and is dazed and unfocused it is seen as a temporary loosening of the Ti Bon Ange as it trys to escape the trauma or finds its way back after being shaken out).

In possession, it is the Ti Bon Ange of the individual that is unseated and pushed out by the incoming Lwa or possessing spirit; to convey a message to a bystander in hopes that the listener would convey the message after that, the person had returned to normal consciousness understandably dangerous, these practices are known only to initiates, but have different applications. In kanzo initiations and Lave Tet (ritual head washing), the bodily connection to the Ti Bon Ange is loosened to make future possessions a lot easier for the body. accompanied by the making of a Pot Tet, or head pot. A physical zonbi is a person who has had their Ti Bon Ange removed or banished, leaving them devoid of thought or personality; (like some who is on a mental hospital they may look all there but aren't.)

After death, Vodou’s funeral ceremonies disconnect these pieces and send them on their way. Just like a Catholic priest would preforming a last rite. The body is prepared for burial, the Gro Bon Ange (soul) is returned to God, and the Ti Bon Ange is ritually sent “anba dlo“, or “under the waters” to rest for at least a year and a day.

After its rest period, the Ti Bon Ange of the deceased is ritually called forth from the waters and installed in a specially prepared Govi, or terra cotta jar, which is then placed in the temple or in the altar for the Family, now that individual’s Ti Bon Angeis now served as an ancestor spirit, and will watch over future generations.

[tryst-art-archive]

March 2010: "Drowning"

This one's going under a cut because it is once again about suicide. Specifically, this is clearly me imagining my own death by suicide. SO, do proceed with caution.

Something I'm learning from my journey through my archives is that I've been much, much, much more depressed than I realized over the past two decades.

Drowning

              She was drowning.

              Bubbles burst forth from her lips in a chaotic swirl, speeding towards the surface as she sank into the lake’s silt. Her body heaved with the effort to breathe, drawing in yet more murky water, suffocating itself in its own effort to survive. A darkness began to pulse at the edges of her vision, progressing and receding like a wave reaching up toward sun bathers on the beach. As the dark tide rose and began to close in, she felt her heart’s beat within her, shaking her every fiber so that she could hear the faint movement of the water in response to her fading pulse. She felt her weakness, felt the fragility of her body and its impermanence. The darkness closed in, and her diaphragm ceased its frantic efforts to feed her lungs. She listened to her pulse fade to nothing and followed it into the abyss.

              It was a closed-casket funeral. They hadn’t, after all, found the  body for several days, and when, finally, they pulled it from the lake, it had become alien, it’s grotesqueries caused less by the bloated deformation and more by the humanness still visible within its bulk.

              The mother cried throughout the ceremony, silently heaving, her face lost in tissue after tissue. The father simply rested his hands on his wife’s shoulders, blinking against the tears that hovered on the brinks of his eyelids. He would not let them fall again.

              Other relatives crowded about, some weeping, some offering sober condolences. A few townspeople had come – an English teacher the dead Girl had abhorred, a policeman She had never really gotten to know, and a host of high school classmates who may have remembered Her name but who certainly never knew anything else about Her. Her friends, old and new, mourned in their own ways. A few came to the funeral, but several wept in the privacy of their homes, too afraid of finality to face the funeral, although the coworkers whose primary connection to Her was the service industry itself had elected to come.

              The ceremony was a proper Roman Catholic ceremony, though the dead Girl had rejected religion some years before her demise, and this failure to observe who She had been rankled Her best friend, who stood, trembling, by the mother. The boyfriend didn’t notice this peculiarity and would, later, disagree with the best friend’s view that a religious funeral was disrespectful to an irreligious corpse. They would fight and, for several days, refuse to speak to one another in spite of sharing an apartment. Eventually, their tears would force them into a camaraderie for the duration of their morning period after which they would return to their eternally uneasy friendship. In their bitterest arguments, they would accuse one another of being the cause of Her death generally via the murderous force of insufficient love.

              In truth, they were each haunted by the possibility that they had contributed to Her death. They could never be certain; She had left no note.