#WHAT???? WHO IS GOING TO WIPE THEIR ASS WITH THIS

[arcanarix]

pervy!geto who sneaks upskirt photos of you when you don’t notice, saves any new additions to his jerk off folder for later

pervy!geto who loves loves loves it when you wear tight leggings that show off your gorgeous ass that he wishes he can stick his head between just as much as he loves loves loooooves when you wear tight tops that hug every curve of your body but especially emphasizes your perfect tits

pervy!geto who hates when you allow skeevy men into your life when you already have him in yours. no one else can treat you better and quite frankly from all the stories you spill to him he’s confident no one else can fuck you better than him either

pervy!geto who tries to watch you in the restroom when you shower, any glimpse of you in all of your glory he cherishes. Oh man he loves how you look when you wipe yourself dry and slather lotion all over you and treating yourself like the queen you are and oh when did he start fisting his cock to it? Ah well

pervy!geto who has walked into your apartment and overheard you masturbating and maybe has a recording of your pretty noises as you make yourself come five times in one setting on your vibrator, that’s going to be him soon <3

pervy!geto who’s had enough dancing around especially since you had to wear THAT dress, that perfect black dress that hugs your body and shows you off in the most delicious way and it wasn’t even for HIM. he drags you home after a night out where you got a little crazy and when you demand to know what’s up all he does once you both arrive to your doorstep is slam you into your door and kiss you hard, desperate.

pervy!geto who says, “you filthy fucking tease, always giving yourself to people who can’t treat you right. i’m going to fucking change that.” never mind the fact that he’s really no better.

[ruewrote]

𝑖 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑛.

PAIRING: katsuki bakugou x fem!reader WARNINGS: ignorance, no use of y/n GENRE: angst SONG INSPIRATION: keep that to yourself by tristan WORD COUNT: 1.5k

navigation | ask | boku no hero academia masterlist

you were done. completely, utterly done. you weren’t about to keep bending over backwards for someone who couldn’t be bothered to meet you halfway. 

katsuki had been late to dinner before, hell, he’d been late to everything since the day you started dating him, but tonight was different. the irritation had been building for weeks and all it took was the sound of him slamming through the door without so much as a greeting to set you off.

you didn’t look up from your phone as he stormed in, his hero gear clattering onto the couch. every time he came in late, you used to ask him how his day went, try to ease his mood, but you were tired of this petty routine. you weren’t his emotional punching bag nevermind his damn therapist.

so you stayed silent, continuing to scroll through your feed, ignoring him as thoroughly as he’d been ignoring you. you didn’t even bother setting the table. he could find his own damn plate if he cared that much.

“long day?” you finally asked, your voice flat, barely caring enough to acknowledge him. 

“yeah,” bakugou grunted, not even sparing you a glance as he rummaged through the fridge for something to drink. “like usual.”

you raised an eyebrow, glancing at the cold, untouched dinner you’d made hours ago, just sitting there on the counter. he didn’t ask about it. didn’t even ask if you’d eaten. typical.

after slamming the fridge door shut, he chugged half a bottle of water, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and started back off towards the door again.

“where are you going?” you asked, voice sharp.

he paused but didn’t turn around. “gotta train,” he said over his shoulder, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

your jaw clenched. of course.

you exhaled slowly, keeping your voice calm despite the rising anger. “you just got home and now you’re leaving again?”

bakugou finally turned to face you, his eyebrows knitted together in irritation. “i can’t slack off. i gotta get stronger, you know this.”

you laughed bitterly, shaking your head. “right. because that’s all that matters, huh?”

he glared at you. “what the hell’s your problem? i’m doing what i normally do.”

“can you just stay with me? just this once?” 

“you know i can't.” 

you stood up from the couch, setting your phone down with more force than necessary. “i’m not asking you to slack off. i’m asking you to actually treat me like i exist. but sure, go ahead. go and train. clearly, it’s more important than me.”

bakugou scowled, clearly not expecting a fight tonight. “don’t start with this shit,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “i’m busting my ass out there, doing what i need to do. i don’t have time to coddle you.”

your eyes narrowed, the final thread of your patience snapping. coddle? is he serious?

you stepped forward, staring him down. “i’m not asking you to coddle me, katsuki. i’m asking you to give a damn. you come in late, don’t say a word, leave without even acknowledging me, do you even realize how selfish you’re being?”

he rolled his eyes, clearly getting annoyed. “i’m selfish? you’re the one whining because i’ve got real shit to do. you know what it’s like out there, so why the hell are you making this about you?”

the arrogance, the complete lack of awareness, it was almost laughable. but you weren’t laughing. you were done holding your tongue. done waiting for him to magically understand.

“no, katsuki,” you said, voice cold. “you’re the one making this about you. it’s always about you. your work, your training, your goals. meanwhile, i’m here, putting up with your bullshit, and i don’t get so much as a thank you.” 

he opened his mouth to argue, but you cut him off.

“y’know what?” you snapped, crossing your arms. “i don’t need this. i don’t need you. you’re so damn convinced that you’re doing me a favor just by being in my life, but here’s a reality check, i’m here because i choose to be. not because i have to. i’m not some trophy girlfriend who’s just going to stick around while you treat me like shit and if you think that then you’re fucking wrong.”

bakugou's eyes flashed with anger, his fists clenching at his sides. “i don’t need to deal with this right now.”

you stared at him for a long moment, your chest tightening with a surge of cold. for a second, you’d almost expected him to fight for you. but this? this was all he had to offer you?

“okay.”

you turned on your heel and started walking toward the bedroom, your movements calm and deliberate. you didn’t slam the door. didn’t shout or cry or plead. just…walked away.

“wait, what the hell are you doing?” his voice echoed from behind you, but you didn’t stop. didn’t even look back.

bakugou stayed rooted to the spot, watching you disappear down the hallway. there was something different about you tonight, something that made his chest tighten with the slightest hint of unease. you didn’t yell at him. didn’t hurl insults or throw anything. just a simple, calm okay.

that wasn’t normal. that wasn’t you.

bakugou cursed under his breath, stalking after you, but when he reached the bedroom door, he froze.

you were packing. calmly, methodically, pulling clothes out of drawers and folding them into a suitcase. your movements were so deliberate, so precise, like you weren’t even upset. like you’d already made up your mind.

“oi.” his voice came out rough, harsher than he intended. “what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

you didn’t even look up. “i’m leaving, katsuki.”

he blinked, staring at you like you’d just slapped him. “the fuck you are,” he growled, stepping into the room. “you’re not goin’ anywhere.”

you didn’t respond, simply continuing to pack your things. each item folded with care, each movement speaking louder than any argument you could’ve had. you weren’t making a scene. you were making a statement.

bakugou’s heart started to pound in his chest, he wasn’t used to this. you were always the one who’d argue, push him, try to get him to open up. but this quiet, collected version of you? it scared the hell out of him.

“i’m serious,” he said, voice wavering slightly. “stop.”

you paused for a moment, glancing over at him with cold, detached eyes. “why should i?”

he opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. he didn’t have an answer. not one that would make sense. not one that didn’t sound selfish as hell. 

you let out a soft, bitter laugh, shaking your head. “that’s what i thought.”

bakugou stood there, frozen, his mind racing. you weren’t bluffing. he could see it in the way you moved, in the way you didn’t hesitate. you were serious. dead serious.

“damn it,” he muttered, stepping forward. “look, just…stop for a second. we can talk about this.”

you shook your head, zipped up the suitcase and dragged it off of the bed. “i already tried talking. you didn’t listen.”

“oi, i listen–”

“no, katsuki,” you interrupted, your voice sharp now. “you don’t. i’ve been telling you for weeks how i feel, and you’ve ignored me. i’ve waited, and waited, and all you’ve done is prove that i don’t matter. that this doesn’t matter.”

his eyes widened, panic flickering across his face. “that’s not–”

“it is,” you snapped, your voice finally cracking with anger. “and you know what? i’m done waiting for you to figure it out. i’m done trying to prove to you that i deserve better.”

bakugou’s breath hitched, you were actually going to leave. he could see it now. see the determination in your eyes, the way you didn’t even hesitate.

“wait– just…wait,” he muttered, stepping closer, his hands hovering uselessly at his sides. 

“don’t go.”

you sighed, your eyes softening just a fraction. “give me one good reason why i should stay.”

he opened his mouth, but for the first time in his life, words failed him. his usual arrogance, his stubborn pride, it all felt so small, so insignificant in the face of losing you. 

“i…” he swallowed hard, his voice hoarse. “i need you.”

you raised an eyebrow, but didn’t move, waiting for him to continue.

“i know i’m a shitty boyfriend sometimes,” he admitted, his voice low, barely above a whisper. “but i need you. i just…i didn’t realize how much until now.”

you stood there for a long moment, eyes locked with his, weighing his words. he looked so uncharacteristically vulnerable, so desperate, like he was finally starting to understand.

“i’ll do better,” he added quickly, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. “i swear, i’ll try harder. just…don’t leave.”

silence hung heavy in the air, the weight of his words sinking in.

finally, you exhaled, shoulders slumping slightly. “no,” you said firmly, looking him in the eyes. 

“you should’ve done better, katsuki. i’ve been giving you all these chances, and you threw them away. you don’t get to promise me better after treating me like i’m practically invisible.”

he blinked, stepping forward. “but i’m saying i’ll change–”

you cut him off. “it’s too late.”

"i may be the one that's leaving but you're the one that walked out on us."

with one final glance, you grabbed your suitcase and walked out the door.

and this time, katsuki didn’t stop you.

comments and reblogs are appreciated ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

© ruewrote 2024.

[amara555555]

The blonde man:

Warnings: Jaegyeon’s car.

Daniel park x reader:

Ah yes the country side.

“I don’t like this.”

You step over a slug as Daniel walks infront of you, resisting the urge to haul ass out of excitement. Chiang liang, if you had any words to describe it, they would be hot, eerie, and occasional nature smells of poop. You and Daniel walked side by side before he stops and dramatically looks back at the chiang liang station. You were about to speak before a few deeper voices interrupt you and turn to a horde of gangster pass by coming out a bus.

“……uh-“

Daniel pulled you close.

“They use jeong la do accents.”

You blink.

“They do-“

“Kids.”

A gravelly voice made you both jump and you turn to see a bald gangster with scars.

“Move it will ya?”

Both Daniel and you start spotting gangsters EVERYWHERE- coming out of buses and the ones out of cars where most likely higher in rank…….aw they care for traffic laws-

Daniel and you both remain close as the gangster all walked past you, occasionally bumping shoulders.

“Woa- what is the need for all this-“

You step back and do does Daniel before a car’s engine turned off behind you two.

You turn to see and what the fuck is that? The most tacky hot wheel, lightning McQueen stickers looking chocolate wrapper designed car parked behind you two.

Daniel held you closer out of instinct before the car door opened.

“I’m sor-“

“You scratched it.”

You blink after someone with a deep voice had the gall to interrupt Daniel.

“Uh- who scratched who?”

You ask confused.

“Sorry?” Daniel asked now also confused.

“I said you scratched it. You’re gonna have to buy this car now.”

“WHOSE BUYING WHAT NOW?!”

Were you going insane or was this guy having a hernia? You and Daniel exchange the most baffled faces before you blink owlishly. You both turn back to the talking ugly car.

“What kind of logic is….”

Daniel gets interrupted, AGAIN.

“Don’t try to wriggle your way out of this.”

The door open upwards, like that adds any value and you blink in confusion and annoyance. Who the hell was this Ken doll?

Expensive sneakers and some very nice pair of jeans you had saved on your asos basket.

“Kid I got everything recorded on my dash cam, you scratched it after I got a new wrapping.”

“It’s a ugly wrapping and we would’ve done you a fav-“

Daniel shook you to stop talking as he stepped backwards with you in tow. This pressure was overwhelming and overpowering. Oh shit. Was he also a gangster?

“So what’s it gonna be kids, will we stop by the police station, or will you two buy this car?”

……….

“I told you coming to country side was a bad idea.”

Daniel huffed.

“Well how was I supposed to know we’d get conned?!”

The blond man with his titties exposed and pearls dangling over his chest, his shirt collar open down to his mid chest like a man you’d find in a tropical resort drinking Angel shots, a gucci belt and g those cute jeans he wore. But you couldn’t deny, he was fucking cute.

He shook a wavy lock out his eye as he kept his sharp eyes on you two…. You fell into a 8 year old one direction stare as you dreamily stared at the older man infront of you……………..and then Daniel shrieked-

“L-LETS GO TO THE POLICE STATION! BECAUSE WE’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG!”

Daniel pulled you close again and you joined in.

“we were literally like 2 feet away!”

The blonde man blinked.

“Brats, what police station? I’m not the type of person who makes big issues out of small problems.”

“….HUH?!”

You were right. This beautiful man is having a hernia.

Daniel grew pissy.

“I SAID LETS GO! WHATS WITH THE CHANGE IN ATTITUDE?! YOU’RE NOT SURE EITHER ARE YOU???”

At this rate you just began laughing.

“Whats so funny? You laughing at me? Punk? Oi. Both of you, stop making a ruckus and just buy it, since we’re close I’ll sell to you two for cheap.”

You wipe a tear.

“With what? Universal credit?”

The blonde man almost agreed before Daniel interrupted.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN CLOSE?! WE JUST MET!”

The blond man put his hands in pocket and resumed the sass stance 101.

“Then what will you do about this scratch?”

You scoff and pull out your fake protective UV light glasses from Temu, Daniel joined in the search.

“WHERE EXACTLY IS THIS SCRATCH?!”

“Please just buy it-“

You glare and Daniel and huffs frustratedly.

“We’re not buying! Why would we buy such a childish car?!”

“Yeah?! I’d rather take that bus that smells like fe-“

Suddenly Daniel was 2 centimetres away from having his face smashed into the floor and you gasp. Pulling out your finished pepper spray.

“BACK, BACK I SAY-“

“What did you just say?Shitty car?”

His voice now cold. You shiver from the underlying ferocity in his voice and his cold eyes locked on Daniel. You put the spray away and grip his shirt, aiming to pull him off.

“Get off him! Why’re you harassing city kids?!”

The man’s eyes widened.

“Hold on. Your minors?”

You nod aggressively and Daniel answers.

“Yes.”

The man now blinked.

“19 years old?”

You both frustratedly whine in unison.

“18!!!!”

He drops Daniel and you push him out the way to get to your friend.

“Are you ok?!”

He nods vigorously.

“I can’t sell you both the car then.”

“WE DONT WANT IT!”

The blonde man began walking away.

“Relax I wasn’t gonna sell it to you two today anyways.”

You dead pan Daniel who just deflated before the blond spoke again.

“It’s just that kind of day. A sad day.”

“…….THAT DOESNT EXEMPT YOU FOR HARRASSING US?!”

He leaves and you pull out a sharpie.

“Y/N NO!”

“…….biscuits-“

[the-universal-sun]

i had the idea that stan had been regressing even before being kicked out to cope with fillbrick - could you write a fic expanding on it? (im dyslexic my ass CANNOT do it myself 😭) like teenage stan regressing and ford taking care of him ykwim

Ooo I’ve never thought about a teen stan regressing. Thank you for the ask! Please let me know if it lives up to your expectations! TW for implied child abuse

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stan sniffled, pulling his blanket tighter around his head. His head started started feeling fuzzy again after another fight with Filbrick. He thinks there’s something wrong with him, maybe all the fights he’s gotten into has messed up his head or something. When he gets all fuzzy headed like this, he finds it really hard to talk, and he’s not interested in any of that teenage stuff. He just wants to hold on to this cheap stuffed monkey he won from the fair a few years ago. Sometimes he has the urge to make sand castles, but he can’t bear the thought of someone seeing him like that outside of his room; his sanctuary where no body comes in. Nobody but Ford, that is. Ford’s the only one who knows about this thing that happens to Stan sometimes. He found his clutching his monkey and sobbing one day, and while Stan couldn’t explain what happened until after he stopped feeling fuzzy, Ford just sat with him until he felt better. He’s such a good brother. But Ford doesn’t know what this is either, why Stan goes fuzzy headed sometimes. Maybe he’s just a stupid freak-

“Stanley?” He flinches as he hears Ford’s voice, he didn’t hear the door open. He must be really out of it. Stan doesn’t come out from under his blanket, curling up tighter when he hears Ford walk over to his bunk.

“Stanley, are you alright? I heard you had another fight with dad. What happened this time-“ He doesn’t fight it as Ford pulls the blanket off his head, but he hides his face in the sheets when Ford stops mid-sentence. He’s going to be mad, isn’t he. Mad at Stan for being stupid and crying over nothing. He pulls away when his brother goes to touch his face, it hurts and he doesn’t want anybody touching it.

“Wh-what? Did dad…? Stanley, I-“ If Stan wasn’t feeling so bad, he might’ve giggled. He’s never heard his brother, who knows like a billion words, to be so speechless. But he doesn’t feel like laughing, his mouth is quivering because he’s trying to hold back his tears. He’s a man, not a big baby, and men don’t cry. No matter if he is feeling like a big baby sometimes, like right now. Stan clenches his eyes shut as Ford gets up from his bed with a sigh. He knew it. Ford’s mad at him, too. Mad at Stan for being a big baby who couldn’t dodge a simple right hook.

Ford comes back though, he comes back holding the cheap purple monkey Stan had named “Mookie”, a stupid name but he couldn’t think of anything else. He reaches out, needing to hold on to his Monkey toy and get comfort from it. “Here you go, Stanley, here’s your Mookie,” Stan still blushes whenever Ford speaks to him in that soft voice and uses his toys name, “scoot over. I’m getting in your bed with you. I need some Stanley time.” His brother explains when Stan looks at his, wondering why he didn’t want to go to his own bed with his own stiff sheets. Stan’s not going to argue against cuddling with Ford, that’s his favorite thing to do.

Stan sighs against Ford, snuggling his face into his chest and resisting the urge to chew on his shirt; he didn’t think Ford would appreciate that. He does wipe his remaining tears off on it, though. He feels Ford’s answering sigh ruffle his hair, his arms wrapping tight around Stan. He likes the pressure and warmth of Ford’s arms, he gets cold easily. Ford kisses his head before he starts talking. Stan doesn’t know what he’s talking about, probably wouldn’t even if he were right in the head, he thinks it’s about some research into a math problem. He doesn’t know, he just likes listening to Ford talk, it soothes him.

He still finches when Ford brushes his hand against his cheek, but he’s not as scared of Ford’s reaction anymore, it was silly of him to think Ford would be mad about this, not when he’s always had Stan’s back! He’s the best big brother Stan could ever ask for. He’ll tell Ford that when he’s feeling better. He just content to lay here with his and listen to his voice. He hopes he’ll always have Ford there with him.

[dylsstuff]

Deku’s Guide to Accidentally Dating your Enemy: An Irritating Bargain

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Midoriya Izuku/Bakugo Katzuki

Word count: 5,750

When Bakugo steps in to help Izuku out of a situation, neither of them imagine they’d be accidentally thrown into a relationship. Now they have to keep up their facade. The question is; Can they?

AO3

A Fake Dating, University, no quirks AU

CW!: Some creep mildly harasses Izuku in this chapter

Chapter One

“Are you coming to Denki’s place on Friday?” Ochako said out of nowhere.

They were in the university library where Izuku was up to his ears in books. He had an essay due next week. In his mind, he had to know everything about his chosen subject matter by later tonight. Locking himself in his room, the only contact being his housemates coming in to leave food and water on his desk silently whilst he worked. Making sure he didn’t neglect his bodily functions in favour of working. If they put food in his vicinity he would eventually eat it because it was there for him to see. He was forever grateful that his friends kept him alive. 

So here he was, four books laid open before him and a few piles next to him as he ferociously wrote in his notebook for this class. 

Izuku looked up at Ochako who was typing on her phone as she looked at him expectantly. 

“Huh? What’s happening on Friday?” He honestly had no idea what was happening or whether it had been brought up to him before now. He had an overwhelming feeling that he probably should know what was going on by the look on her face which screamed ‘Seriously?’. 

“You’re literally in the group chat.” She waved her phone in front of his face so that he could read what was on it. 

The title read, “Sick ass party ppl” with a bunch of emojis. It looked like there were a lot of members in the group. The memory of being added to the group chat came to him in a flash. The memory of when he muted it because he was overwhelmed by the vast amount of messages and notifications he was getting also came to mind. ‘Ah’. He’d wiped it from his memory whilst he had been prepping for his essay. The reading he was doing right now was overkill but it wouldn’t hurt, right? 

Right?!

Anyway, the party had completely been wiped from his brain until just this second. He really had to do this essay. He planned to have it done by at least Thursday, which was a few days away now. The 3 weeks of reading he put on himself to plan his essays around would surely help. He’d have it done by Friday that’s for sure.

He had been mumbling under his breath as he weighed up his options. Typical of him but his friends didn’t mind but it left all of his thoughts out in the open. Ochako was looking at him with a polite smile waiting for him to respond to her question. She knew that he preferred people not mentioning his muttering and pretending he just didn’t do it at all. He was grateful that all of his friends understood this so he didn't have to be embarrassed. 

“I’ll be there!” He finally responded by handing her phone back to her. 

“Great! We can all go together!” She says enthusiastically with a bigger smile than before, going back to texting on her phone. He assumed she was making his coming known to the group chat to confirm with their hosts. “Iida said he wanted to sit this one out but that he’d join the next game night we have over there. Shouto is coming with us though!” She says as she types. 

He nods, going back to writing his notes in silence as she keeps him quiet company for the time being. 

The next two days consisted of him being locked at his desk, eyes glued to his computer as he typed. There were moments he had to be ripped away to use the bathroom, anything else he needed his housemates brought to him, careful not to disturb him as they left plates of food on the empty part of his desk that didn't have any notes or paper on it. They also filled up his water bottle for him to ensure he was hydrated. Later they came in to take the empty plates out for him. 

He was done. 

Every time he finished an essay or project he had this weight lifted off of his shoulders. Like he could finally breathe after weeks of stress, now he had a couple of days to kill before the next one he had to worry about. Thank God. Not that he was religious. 

He stretched out in his chair immediately smelling the stench radiating off of him. Gross... he stretched out after being a hermit for two days during which he stayed in the same clothes and didn’t shower or put on deodorant. He breathed in deeply. 

K.O’d. 

The smell hit him like a tonne of bricks and he fell backwards on his chair. He always had a flair for dramatics. Accepting his fate, he let himself hit the ground with a loud thud. 

Well, this is where he will live from now on. This was his place in the world. Who was he to argue with the great beyond? 

His door flew open suddenly, Iida, Shouto and Ochako breathing heavily as they barged in, basically falling themselves. He simply looked up with a smile. 

“Hey guys!” 

“Don’t fucking ‘hey guys’ us we thought you died or passed out or- what the fuck Izuku!” Ochako yelled frantically.

Iida looked at her shocked, flailing his hand in front of him.

“Ochako please refrain from using such language!”

“It’s 3 am right now and we heard a huge bang come from your room. We thought you passed out from exhaustion,” Shouto added to Ochako’s outburst. 

Now that Izuku looked them over they were all in their sleepwear. Oops. 

“Ah- So sorry guys! I just finished my essay and I leant back on my chair too far. Well, you can guess the rest.” He explained, “Wait, did you say 3 am? What day is it?” 

“Thursday, don’t worry you have plenty of time to catch up on sleep and shower before tomorrow.” Ochako says, “Get up off the floor and go do your thing. We’re very proud of you for finishing your essay but it is 3 am, Jesus Christ I am pooped.” She says with a yawn, she waves at him and retreats out of the room. 

“Goodnight Izuku!” Iida says with a nod of his head, “Very well done for finishing your essay. You worked really hard for this one!” He smiles with a thumbs up. 

“Well done Midoriya,” Shouto says with a small smile as he leaves with Iida leaving Izuku alone in his room, who decided to sleep. 

Friday came quickly, having slept through all of Thursday through Friday morning. When he decided to finally shower and partake in some self-care, like changing into clean clothes and making himself something to eat. 

So here he was chowing down on his cereal. 

“He lives!” A voice from the kitchen doorway says. Izuku turns his head to see which of his friends are here to bless his day with their presence. Ochako!

“Hey! Yeah- finally up, moving and ready for the day!” He laughs as she comes in to sit in her spot on the counter. She sat here whenever Izuku, Iida or Shouto were in here so she could talk to them without being in the way. 

“That's good! Are you prepared to get your party on later?” She asks moving her shoulders up and down, a move many probably would call dancing. It makes him let out a light chuckle, nodding in response. 

“Of course! Denki always makes sure we all have fun and we haven't seen them in a while so I'm looking forward to it!” 

Ochako nods in agreement, “Have you got an outfit picked out yet?”

“Not yet I was gonna pick something later.” 

“Oh no no, we're going up there right now because if I leave it up to you you're going to just do it last minute.” She says jumping off of the counter. “Come on!” 

Finding clothes and putting them on should not take more than thirty minutes. 

Yet, here they were. Two hours deep into a search on what he should wear. TWO HOURS. It turned into Shouto sitting in his desk chair giving his opinions too whilst Ochako went from sitting on the end of his bed to rummaging through his clothes to asking Shouto if she could raid his closet too. He declined and she respected his privacy whilst invading Izuku's personal space whilst she tugged and ruffled things on his person. Izuku hated thinking too hard about things like clothes when he thought too much about everything all of the time. His essays, his interactions, his friendships, his family. The list goes on and on and on. It was annoying but the last thing on his mind was what he was wearing. Sure he liked dressing nice for events but this seemed too excessive even for him. 

God he hated his life. 

“Do you really need to be touching my hair so much?” 

“If we want to see what vibe we’re going for when I style your hair later! This is an important part of the process Izuku!” She says simply as she did something else to his hair. It was a little hard to make his ruffles look neat but pretty easy to make it look intentionally messy. According to Ochako that was. Apparently, intentionally messy and unintentionally mess was a thing but that just kind of went over his head as his friend worked around him while she went on her spiel about hairstyles and clothes and something about how it was always a nice finishing touch to an outfit to style your hair as it brings the ‘outfit together’. Whatever that means. 

This was going to be another long couple of hours.

Surprisingly they got to Denki's house on time despite the FIVE hours that it took for Ochako to decide what to dress Izuku in. He felt like a pampered show dog. In the end she did a pretty good job. His mullet was styled into loose curls that were made to look intentionally messy. Again he didn't know what that meant but alas she and Shouto said he looked good. Still he thought it was a bit much for it to have taken five hours to decide on it.

The outfit that had been decided was a pair of his ripped, light blue skinny jeans, he had nice legs so Ochako said he should show them off with tightly fitted jeans. She raided Iida's closet in the end for his shirt. Which ended up landing on a loose fitting vest that had larger holes for his arms, so from the side people could see his torso. He was told he'd be irresistible when people saw him in the chosen outfit which he supposed was nice. He really just wanted to hang out with friends but Ochako is someone who enjoys romance and matching all of her friends up.

It was not the first time that she had tried to set him up with someone. She meant well and was just trying to be a good friend to him, and help him find happiness. He did think that she went over the top sometimes. 

Izuku figured that she was just bored, perhaps finished her TV shows and wanted something exciting. Like setting her friends up as a wing-woman. She did understand boundaries after some mishaps of overstepping but she was a lot better these days. 

When they got to Denki’s house they were met with people outside drinking various things, some were dancing to the music blasting from the house, others were just talking. 

It had quite a big garden for a student house, and Izuku was the first to comment on how good of a deal Denki got on this place. It was a big detached house, that had a great Wi-Fi connection no matter the weather. Plus a front and back garden. The cherry on top was that this place cost the same amount he and his housemates were paying. He was jealous, to say the least. They got the best deal in housing and Izuku didn’t blame them for throwing a party to show it off. There was plenty of room. 

As they walked into the house Izuku made a note that it seemed like they were earlier than most, considering that they could still roam around the house without a crowd of sweaty bodies stopping them in their tracks. That is typically how Denki’s parties went. That was also around the time Izuku’s buzz would be helping him not want to rip his hair out from the amount of people. Though he wasn't planning on drinking too much tonight after the last time he was here. Denki was a bad influence. 

Making their way to the kitchen, bag of drinks in hand they bumped into a few familiar faces, Ochako being left behind to discuss something with her fellow classmate. Something about their most recent assignment. 

As Shouto and Izuku crossed the threshold of the kitchen, they walked in on Denki and Kirishima laughing at the expense of one of their friends.

Just as Izuku was about to speak a red pair of eyes made eye contact with his stopping him in his tracks. 

Bakugo Katsuki. 

Someone with whom his relationship wasn't the best. From childhood friends to middle school bullies. Once in high school Izuku got to the point where he started retorting to some of the vicious words spouting from the blond's mouth. Katsuki was almost impressed. Now they were in University and ran in the same friend groups, so they were civil often with some back and forth. At least there wasn't as much tension as when they had been younger. 

Still, though, that didn't mean they were ever happy to see each other. 

Which they weren't.

“Deku.” He sneered.

“Kacchan,” Izuku replied with the same energy. 

“You've shrunk.” 

“Your heads gotten bigger.” He retorts without missing a beat.

Katsuki's eyebrow twitched, amused almost. If he was amused he didn't say anything, just took a swig of his drink he had in hand, giving a grunt that sounded kind of like ‘shitty Deku’ pushing past Izuku through the door. With not a single look back at the blond he smiled at his friends, ready to catch up with those he hadn’t seen for a while.

Izuku didn't like drinking too much, usually he just nursed his first drink most of the night, swapping it out for a non-alcoholic soft drink. That didn't stop him from enjoying himself though. He liked hanging out and dancing with his friends mostly on nights like these.

He loved dancing. The way he could just let go of any tension and move without being embarrassed because everyone else was too drunk to care. 

At some point he needed to break away from his friends to use the bathroom, pushing past a lot of drunk people on his way. He also kept getting stopped by people who he'd been briefly introduced to in the past. 

God he just wanted to piss. Not on Denki's floor so he had to cut all of the interactions short. Making a mental note to stop past on his way back from the bathroom to have a proper conversation. That would have to wait though, his bladder was practically screaming at him. 

After getting past the thick of the crowd he was finally at the stairs and he let out the biggest sigh of relief he could manage as he jogged up them. He saw the door to the bathroom open as he came around the corner and silently thanked the gods that he got here before he pissed himself.

As he was about to shut the door behind himself he heard a thump and the door wasn't closing. Weird. He looked down and saw a foot wedged preventing him to close it. Even weirder. He opened it and saw a taller guy, oh— 

It was someone from his class who he's spoken to a few times. He's made a few eyebrow raising remarks towards him in the past but nothing Izuku took note of or too seriously. They were the kind of comments slimy men said trying to flirt with women. 

"Midoriya!" His voice came out loud and excited. His breath heavily smelled of alcohol. 

"Ah- Uh can I help you?" He was trying to work out what he may want.

"I've been watching you allll night." Creepy but okay. "In class-" anything else that was coming out of his mouth fell on deaf ears. 

'What on earth is this guys name?' 

"Izukuuu, I'm trying to talk to youuu~" He stumbles closer, making Izuku step back into the bathroom on instinct. 

"Sorry! You seem very nice and maybe we can talk more when you're sober?" He says with a small smile.

Izuku breathed out a small panicked laugh, holding both hands up as the creepy guy took another step forward, making Izuku step backwards, back hitting a wall behind him. 

“Come on, Izuku~��� He slurred, movements sloppy. “I've been so good to you. All I'm asking for is one night.” He reached out to grab Izuku's wrist. 

“Who said you could put your grubby hands on him fucker?” a gruff voice demanded from behind them and in a flash a hand was grabbing the slimy wrist that was trying to grab him. 

He recognised that voice. For some reason not even knowing who the voice was from gave him a lot of relief already. Probably because no matter who it was they were saving him from whatever this freak was trying to do. 

“Who the fuck are you? His boyfriend?” Before Izuku knew what was happening the guy in front of him was being pulled away from him in one swift motion and all he could do was stand there in silence and watch. 

“So what if I am Extra?” Izuku blinked. ‘Extra’. He blinked again. Looking up he saw the back of a spikey blonde as he got in between them both. 

The creep scoffs. “You're his boyfriend?” 

“Yeah and who the fuck are you?” 

The next time the creep laughs it's in a way that would convey he was literally shitting his pants. 

“Look buddy, I'll just be on my way. This doesn't need to go any further.” 

“I asked you a fucking question. Who are you?” 

“Kacchan, let him go.” Izukus's voice came out a little quieter than he would have wanted but he had his hand on the blonde's shoulder. He felt his body tense under his touch but Katzuki opened his hand and the creep wasted no time escaping the room. 

There was a silence that surrounded them. It wasn't uncomfortable but it was definitely tense after the altercation. 

Izuku opened his mouth to say thank you but the other interrupted as per usual.

“Did you even piss?”

Blinking slowly the smaller one just looked at the blond. 

What kind of question is that? He was shaken up and that was the first question that just came to mind. He wanted to say but he didn’t. 

Instead, he said;

“Huh? What-”

“You came in here to use the shitter- did you piss before fuckknuckle came in?” Eloquent as always. 

“Ah- no-”

“Piss.” 

Izuku just stands there staring at the back of the bathroom door after Katzuki leaves the room. Whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck. 

What even was that?! 

That didn’t feel real in the slightest. From getting harassed to Kacchan coming to his aid and now he was in his friends' bathroom having a crisis. Story of his life. What the hell was he going to say to that guy in their next lecture? Was he going to spread this around? What was he meant to tell his friends? 

Great now he is pacing instead of pissing. 

Kacchan was probably just.. Doing him a solid. Of course! That was absolutely the reason! Why else would he say something so absurd? 

They hadn’t had a conversation one-on-one, in something stupid like 10-plus years ago when their friendship came to a drastic halt. He still wasn’t even sure why anymore. Katsuki went through a stage of bullying him to not talking to him at all and when they went to the same University, making friends with the same people their relationship was just civil, never saying more than a few retorts to each other in their hangouts. 

Now… he’s stuck up for him against someone he didn’t even know. 

Maybe he was thinking too much about it. It could literally just be Katsuki being nice. He knows if the roles were reversed he would have done the same and stepped in. 

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. 

“J-just a minute!!” he hadn’t realised how long he had been in the bathroom for. He was sure Ochako was worried about him taking so long but then again she might have seen some other friends to catch up with by now. 

Finally he got chance to pee and it was the best piss of his life. 

Opening the door he gave a quick apology to whoever was waiting as he walked past them. 

How could he be in the bathroom that long and only just piss? That was embarrassing. They probably thought he was people having sex. He really had to figure out how to get himself to stop his brain from going at a million miles per second when anything small happened to him. 

As he was turning around the corner he was stopped by someone grabbing his arm. Looking up he expected the same creep as before but he was met with crimson eyes peering down at him. Oh.

“I’m taking you home,” Katsuki says simply. 

There’s a pause as Deku blinks slowly.

“I can’t just leave I have-”

“Text them.” That was a good point he could just text them... Why didn’t he think of that?

He nods as he follows Katsuki out of the house, pushing past drunk and tipsy people in the hallways. He was getting knocked around by the sheer amount of bodies that had turned up to the party. There was a moment that he was sure he was about to lose Katsuki in the crowd and as if he read his mind his wrist was grabbed by the other as they moved.

The cold air hit him as soon as they were outside the party. Honestly, it was refreshing. His wrist had been let go of as soon as they got through the door. He assumed that was because he wasn’t at risk of getting lost in the crowd.

Katsuki was already making his way to his car at a fast pace that Deku had to jog to catch up with him. 

“What’s going on? How much did you have to drink? Can you even drive right now?” Izuku asks nervously as he follows along.

Katsuki just grunted, “I haven’t drunk anything idiot. Why else would I offer to take you home?” He opened the driver's side of the car pausing as he looked at Izuku who had the most baffled look on his face. “Fuckin- just get in the stupid car Deku.” 

He didn’t need to be told again, there was a look in the other’s eyes that Izuku couldn’t quite pinpoint but he relented and got in the car. 

Streetlights past them by as they drove down the street. The air in the car felt a lot thicker than the air outside. It almost was unbearable as they sat there in silence. They haven’t been alone since they were kids. What was he even meant to say? 

Katsuki was the one who spoke first. Which was the second biggest relief of the night that he brought Izuku. 

“So who was that Extra?” 

Never mind. All he feels is dread. Curses. 

“Ah- Uh- No one really!” He says, “ He’s just this guy on my course. I don't even know his name.” 

Katsuki was staring ahead as he drove, the lights from the city lighting up his face. He almost looked ethereal from this angle. In retrospect, it could just be the dark making him look this way to Izuku but if he was being honest he knows Katsuki is attractive to basically anyone with eyes. Well, until he opened his mouth. 

“Just some guy huh?” He hums, eyes still locked ahead of him. “It certainly didn’t seem that way. Does that fucker often act all handsy with you without your permission?” 

“N- No! That was literally the first time Kacchan.” He didn’t look like he believed him so Izuku doubled down. “okay, he’s a little weird! But that isn’t a bad thing! I mean sure, he like spam messages me sometimes and sits a bit too close- okay it- it does sound bad.”

“Yeah, no shit Deku. If a red flag was humanised it’d be that slimy fuck. How long has this been going on for?”

“About 6 months.” 

“You let it go on for six fucking months? Does round face know?”

Izuku shook his head sheepishly, “I didn’t want to worry her.” 

“Fucking stupid,” Katsuki says through gritted teeth. “You're fucking stupid, Deku.”

There were a few moments where neither of them spoke. 

“Thank you for stepping in. I’m sorry that you had to go that far though.” 

“What?”

“With- I mean, when you said you were my… boyfriend? You didn’t have to say that but thank you it really helped.” 

“Oh. That.” Katsuki grumbled. 

“Hey don’t worry! I can explain to people that we’re not dating if he does tell anyone! I know that's probably the last thing you'd want-”

“Actually..” Katsuki cut him off mid-thought. There were a few beats of silence, it seemed he was heavily debating on his next words but he continued anyway. “What happens if it gets back to shit for brains that you aren’t taken? What would stop him from pulling another stunt like he did tonight in the future?” 

Oh. 

That was a good question. Izuku would hope it wouldn’t come to that but he was almost in a lot of trouble in that bathroom tonight. 

“I have a family event soon. The hag wants me to bring a partner to introduce to everyone. This..” Izuku wasn’t sure where this train of thought was going but Katsuki looked almost worried about saying any of the words that were threatening to spill out of his mouth. That really wasn’t like Kasuki, he was always the first to say exactly what was on his mind and not care about taking any consequences. “.. listen, we don’t fucking like each other, to be frank. I think you’re a useless nerd and your voice grinds my fucking ears off.” He says as a matter of fact. “However, I did you a favour, saying I was your boyfriend to get that slimy fucker off your back.”

“You want me to come to your family event as your boyfriend to get Auntie off your back?” 

“The hag fucking likes you or some shit. I don’t know. Forget it. It’s fucking stupid.” 

There were another few moments of silence, Izuku could tell Katsuki was getting a bit antsy. He always got a little fidgety when he was unsure or nervous, not that it happened often but he remembered what Katsuki was like when they were kids just before he feigned confidence in an activity. He remembers the distinct way the blond picked at his hands, shifting his weight from side to side before they tried the monkey bars for the first time. Right now he was biting the inside of his cheek and started shifting in his seat whilst he drove. Nothing much but it was noticeable to Izuku. He never wanted to look scared in front of him but he could always tell in the micro-ways that Katsuki held himself in those moments. 

He took a breath before he spoke his next words carefully. 

“I think this arrangement could work,” Izuku states. Katsuki took his eyes off driving to look at him for a split second almost flabbergasted. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, I mean it wouldn’t really be hurting anyone and I guess we’d both be benefiting from it in our own ways…” Izuku trailed off. “I can’t really say what our friends will think but if we’re going to do this it has to be believable.” He says, “As you said ‘we don’t fucking like each other’ so to make this look believable we have to convince our friends too. It might get back to ‘shit for brains’ if we don’t.”

Katsuki nods, “I fucking hate to agree with you. Shitty hair can’t keep his mouth shut to save his sad fucking life.” 

“This’ll seem really out of nowhere to everyone..” Izuku hums to himself as he thought of a reasonable explanation to say to his friends. “Would they really believe that we’ve been in a secret relationship for years and have been trying to keep up a facade by hating each other so openly?” 

The blond considered this momentarily, “It isn’t a stupid idea. You're still a fucking idiot though.” 

“Yeah, yeah I’ll take that one.” Izuku laughed sarcastically.

“Maybe they’ll believe that I took pity on you for being a fuckin’ sad loser no one else would date.” 

“Or maybe they’ll think you’re too hot-headed you can’t find anyone else to put up with your bullshit.”

“Touché.” Izuku could swear there was a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as he spoke. However, it was difficult to tell in the lighting of the street lights and passing cars. 

"How are we going to play this?" He asks, "because I don't know if we can just say that we just got past our differences can we?" 

"I don't see why not. Who cares if they believe it, it's our word against theirs idiot." Bakugo had a point. "What are they going to say? That we're not together? That makes them shitty friends." 

That would make them shitty friends. 

"I don't know how you can just do that." 

Bakugo just grunted in response as he took a left.

"Have that kind of i don't care attitude." He says, " You've always had that." 

Bakugo shrugs, "I don't see why I should waste energy on worrying over shit I can't control." 

Izuku hums, turning to watch the traffic in front of them. "So what will consist of our 'relationship'?" 

"What?"

"Well I feel like there should be some ground rules." He states as a matter of fact, "This will have to be believable, we will have to act like a couple like holding hands and affection. Will you, leader of the 'I hate Deku Club' and co-captain of hating love and affection, be able to do that with me?" 

Bakugo brings the car to a stop outside of his house, "We don't have to plan every little thing idiot." He says crossing his arms over his chest, giving Izuku a glare. "When it gets to it we'll cross the bridge alright? The next game night is next week. Maybe let the shitty extras know before then." 

Bakugo gets his phone out, clicks some buttons and holds it in front of them after turning on the light in the car. He sees that it's on the selfie camera and looks at him puzzled. 

"Fuckin- come 'ere." He uses his free arm to wrap it around Izuku, pulling him closer to him. "Smile, nerd." 

He snaps a few pictures in between Izuku's confusion but he smiles wide for the camera, tilting his head towards Katsuki. He changed his expression halfway through one of the photos and stuck his tongue out making the other scowl.

After the pictures were taken the blond moved away from him, typing some more.

"I've sent them to you, change your background and I'll change mine." He says, eyes still glued to his phone as he tapped. Izuku was still staring at him, a little wide eyed. "What nerd? Is this not what couples do? Change the phone background?"

"Well yes-"

"What's your problem then?"

"Nothing!"

"Then stop staring at me like a creep. You should put a heart next to my name or something too." Katsuki grumbled. "Now get out." 

"Okay, I'll text you later Kacchan." He says getting out of the car with a small smile. 

"Bye nerd." Is what Izuku heard before he shut the car door behind himself. 

He made his way up to his door, giving Bakugo a wave as he drove away. He turned the key in the lock. Iida often felt safer locking the door when his housemates were out, which he understood. It did get a little creepy when you were by yourself. The house was still and dark, he figured Iida was asleep already which wasn't uncommon. He did like his routines and a full 8 hour sleep schedule. Which Izuku couldn't fault him for. 

Sighing, he locked the door behind him before he made his way up to his room. Flopping on his bed after kicking his shoes off he opened his phone, Ochako hadn't responded to his text about leaving the party but Shouto had just sent a thumbs up emoji. 

Clicking back, he opened the messages from Bakugo. They hadn't texted much just quick updates about where each group of friends was if they were hanging out. Other than that it was bare. Now opening the messages he was greeted with the photos they had took less than 10 minutes ago. They did kind of look like a couple.

He smiled as he scrolled through them, he landed on the photo where he was told to smile. It was a nice picture and Bakugo was also giving a small smile which was rare to see, if he wasn't smiling in triumph his face fell on a scowl. Which wasn't the most attractive face he could be pulling but Izuku figured it's still won him women over the years. Ochako mentioned something about girls loving bad boys and Bakugo looking like one. Now he's realising she was probably saying that because she is also attracted to him in some way. 

He decided that this was going to be his lock screen. 

Izuku figured he should probably change Katsuki's name whilst he was on their chat. Like he told him too before he left the car.

'Kacchan🧡'

[beef-brisket]

Angel looked around the room: Me? Uh... I drank Huskers favorite whiskey last week. And I drank it from the bottle.

Husk: What?!

Angel: And I didn't wipe the rim.

Husk: The fuck Angel!?

Angel: It was a rough day at work, okay!?

Charlie: Thank you, Angel. Husk? How about you?

Husk: I ain't part of this shit!

Adam: Says the fucker in the circle.

Husk spins around and glares at Adam: I got pulled in. Ass hat.

Adam smirked: I thought kitties were meant to be sweet and cuddly~?

Angel: Pft. Not this one.

Husk glares at Angel: Fine. One night, you pissed me off, so I used your toothbrush to clean under the bar.

Angel: What!?

Adam snickered. He loved this shit.

Charlie: Okay! We're going good! I'll go next. Dad, I brake onto your room when you're not here.

Lucifer: Huh? Why?

Charlie: I uh... s-sleep on your bed. It makes me feel closer to you, like you're next to me.

Adam eyed Lucifer: See how much you fucked her up?

Lucifer glares at him before looking back at Charlie. He stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

Lucifer: Oh- Char, that's-.

He yelled as he was pushed from behind.

Adam: Comfort your daughter, you prick.

Lucifer quickly went over to Charlie and pulled her into a hug. He had no idea Charlie was going into his room, but his heart broke at the visual of her lying on his bed.

Lucifer: I'm here, sweetie, and I'm not going anywhere. You can come to my room whenever you want. Okay, hun?

Charlie says nothing and only nods. Her arms wrapped tightly around her father, and her head buried I to his neck.

After a few minutes, they let go, and Lucifer wiped Charlie's tears.

Lucifer: I love you, sweetheart.

Charlie: I love you to, dad.

She smiled as Lucifer made his way back to the couch: O-Okay! Sorry about that. Who's next? Pentious?

Sir Pentious perked up and smiled: Of corssse! I've made a new group of egg boiz, and I usssed DNA from everyone in this hotel to make them!

Everyone looks disgusted, and stared at him.

Angel: How the fuck did you get my DNA!?

Sir Pentious: Do you really want me to answer that?

Adam watched as everyone started arguing with the snake guy. He had a feeling they guy with two dicks was a freak. He starred laughing when Angel pulled out a hun and pointed at Sir Pentious.

Vaggie: Why the fuck are we fighting!? This was Adam's idea- and he's sitting over there, enjoying this shit!

Asam: Yeah, duh. But don't you all feel closer to eachother~?

Vaggie growled as there was a gunshot. She stormed over to Adam and stood in front of him.

Vaggie: What's your fucking game, huh!?

Adam: No game, bitch. Just enjoying the show~.

Vaggie: Maybe it should be your turn to confess something!

Adam: Oh, I would love to. Expect I'm not working towards redemption, I'm already in Heaven, bitch.

Adam lent back and smiled up at Vaggie.

Adam: What about you? Vagatha. Anything you'd like to confess? I can think of one~.

Adam gestured to his wings and smirked at how pissed off Vaggie looked. It wasn't until she glared at him for a few seconds that she realized it was quiet. She glanced around the room and saw everyone was watching her.

Vaggie: ...I don't know what you're talking about.

Adam: Don't you? That's weird... I could have sworn I knew you from somewhere...

Vaggie: Shut the fuck up, Adam.

Adam: Or what? You're going to pull out your little spear? I'm surprised no one's asked where you got it.

Charlie: Vaggie? What is he talking about?

Adam: And you weren't the best on my team, there's no way your bitch ass could take me on. Isn't that right, Vagina?

Vaggie: I-It's nothing, Charlie!

Lucifer glared at Adam: What are you talking about?

Adam: Ask her, not me.

What about an au where Adam goes to Hell for night trips, wher ehe just parties and fucks. He has a disguise (it's just a slightly different looking helmet).

Lucifer joins his daughter and her friends at a bar, where he sees "Adam". He instantly knows it's him, but he's curious as to what he's doing.

So Lucifer spends hours flitting with him and buying him drinks to get him drunk. But Lucifer actually finds himself having a great time.

Long story short- they fuck, Adam doesn't let Lucifer know he's Adam. He goes back to Heaven and after a few months, he finds out he's pregnant.

Which is fucking weird cause he's definitely a dude, and he's very dead. But Lucifer's the Devil 🤷.

He basically has to play it off as him getting fat. It's working until the next meeting with Lucifer happens during his ninth month, and he's goes into labor right in front of Lucifer.

Lucifer: Why didn't you tell me your were fucking pregnant!?

Adam: Because you didn't know it was me!!

Lucifer: Yes I did! You have the same face!

Adam: ..... Oh..

[transsexualunderground]

horrible news, everyone. thomas the tank engine toilet paper exists

and for the holidays...

i think i am going to snap

[moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom]

I just find it mind-boggling that some people will reblog things like “Anakin didn’t care about Rex and his men, he wouldn’t listen to Fives just because he was friends with Palpatine” and then in the next post be gushing over Rexwalker/Rexanidala like???? so you agree. Anakin does care about Rex?

[timetravellingkitty]

I could elaborate on said negative feelings but that would require not having a runny nose

[tamaharu]

i love reading fan-translated manga bc one group will make it sound incomprehensible due to the lack of localization, one group will make it sound completely normal, and one group will make it sound incomprehensible due to the extremity of localization. never change.

[rinsoap]

ngl i would rather be called a slur than be stuck in a room full of white ppl being the only poc there

[the-force-awakens]

You: I can tolerate a lot of bullshit from this fandom, but i draw the line at doubting Poe's piloting abilities

Seem about right?

THAT'S ME THAT'S ME TO A FUCKING TEE, BABEY.

I'm sorry but there is no one, no fucking one, in the GFFA that flies anything remotely close to how Poe flies. The only pilot I've ever seen that comes close is Plo Koon, aka my actual father. I love him so much.

Okay, like I'm sorry but Han is not beating this man. Han rounded down on the Kessel Run so he didn't even do it in 12 parsecs, actually. It might be true that Han is better at flying freighters, but I think we can easily say that Chewie is also doing some of the heavy lifting there as well because they're a two man team.

POE DID NOT GRADUATE FROM FLIGHT ACADEMY A YEAR EARLY, BE PUT IN CHARGE OF HIS OWN SQUADRON AND GIVEN THE RANK OF COMMANDER A YEAR OR SO AFTER THAT, AND BE PUT IN CHARGE OF THE RESISTANCE'S ONLY FLIGHT WING*, JUST FOR PEOPLE TO SLANDER HIS ABILITIES LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!

And that's not even getting me STARTED on the fact that he easily lightspeed skips (or the fact that he first did so at 17), how quickly he's able to familiarize himself with other ships in order to fly them, THE FACT THAT HE FLEW A SAIL THROUGH THE STORMS ON PHERYON WHICH HARDLY ANYONE SURVIVES DOING, or the fact that he blew up Starkiller AND survived a one man assault on a fucking Dreadnaught AND a Stardestroyer

NOBODY IS OUT FLYING HIS ASS, OKAY. THIS IS THE HILL I AM CHOOSING TO DIE ON ITS MY TOXIC TRAIT, I FULL HEARTEDLY BELIEVE HE COULD KICK EVERY PILOT IN THE GFFA'S ASS HE'S BEEN TAUGHT BY SHARA FUCKING BEY AND WEDGE ANTILLES LIKE COME ONNNNNN

*which consists of two squadrons. well originally four. but then it was two. This doesn't include the bombing squadrons btw Fossil is in charge of those.

[sanderssidesthehouse]

Sanders Sides is really annoying (affectionate?) to me bc when we talk about 'canon' most people in the conversation are all going to have different ideas of what 'canon' is from each other. For example, for me (and I'm making this post bc I wanted to clarify what I in particular am talking about when I talk about canon) canon is the mainline canon videos, asides (and videos that were previously asides) as well as other dedicated videos (such as the grwm) are supplementary but not canon, and nothing else is canon. But then there are people who take clarifying tweets as canon. And that's fine! It just makes it a little confusing when people are talking about 'canon' but everyone is talking about a different range of information.

Like I'll personally admit I'm a little snobby about what I consider canon. I'm the type if person that thinks if the creator wants something to be canon, it should be stated, implied, or possible to extrapolate from the canon work. For example with Dungeon Meshi, I don't take Daydream Hour as canon information, but rather supplementary. (Not that I need to bc Ryoko Kui does put everything you need to know into the manga, seriously if you haven't read it, I can't recommend it enough.) But there are some people who do. And that's ok! I also don't take her tweets or interviews as canon. This is a general rule I have in what I take as canon across all fandoms.

And I think I've not been clear enough about what I mean by 'supplementary' and I mean like, for example in Ace Attorney I am again, a total snob, and I only count canon as AA 1-4 and AAI 1&2 and this is not an incredibly unpopular opinion but it's still... y'know. Not considering 2 main line games canon. And there are loads of reasons for that which we don't have time for in this post bc we're not actually talking about Ace Attorney, so to get to my actual point. I don't consider the audio drama CDs to be 'canon' but you bet your ass Mikeko is showing up in my fics (a CD only pet cat for Apollo) and I also just stated I don't view AA5 as canon, or at least the same canon (it's complicated) but I love playing around with Clay's concept and several of the other characters from 5+6. I'm just not talking about them when I'm talking strictly about canon.

Idk if I explained that well enough (and if I didn't, please ask me to clarify). I just feel like everyone should have access to the information that I am a snob with unpopular opinions and I love you even if you're less of a snob than me. In fact that would probably be a plus. You DO NOT have to agree with me, I love when people have their own opinions, 'it takes all sorts' and all that, yeah? I just wanted to clarify what I'm talking about when I mention canon.

[ruvviks]

made the realization my vampire story would work best as a video game and now i can't stop thinking about it

[ozlices]

ive been forced to wake up to texts from my existence forcer three days in a fucking row now im so exhausted leave me the ever loving absolute fuck alone already u pathetic sack of shit

[nerdynikki94]

BITTERSWEET RANT ABOUT QUEER (MLM) CHARACTERS IN CURRENT MEDIA

I used to think it was impossible for me to hyperfixate on a show/ship without reading and writing nonstop fanfic about it. But then, a year and a half ago, I watched OFMD and I staunchly refused to read or write any fanfic, because I needed to wait it out and see how the amazing writers planned the story to continue. (I'm ecstatic for October 5th.)

I still considered myself to continue obsessing over my queer ships, especially when I watched Galavant and fell into a bit of a Richard/Gareth hole (but there are very few fics, I planned to write one but kept going back to my Macden fics).

Then, I watched Hannibal, and I tried to read fics, planned one too, but I just couldn't get into it, and preferred obsessively rewatching the show instead.

Now I'm literally refreshing fanvids of our Ineffable Husbands from Good Omens on YT daily, but completely unable to even glance at fics.

It's funny to think how far we are coming with queer characters in media, and I'm just so excited to see shows that refuse to queerbait. They aren't using a viewership by playing with never-ending hints and nods but zero follow through. They are acknowledging that acts of abandonment or betrayal have consequences, regardless of the initial intentions. They refuse to do that kind of disservice to the respective narrative journeys of these characters.

Yes, they may be angsty and a bit sad right now, but Goddammit, we are finally getting sincere, star-crossed gay love stories. Tragic, but not in your typical heartbreaking Brokeback Mountain -esque media from the past (no hate, love the movie, thought the short story was okay).

These queer love stories are giving the same kind of painful passion as some of the best dramatic romances around (one of my fave genres). What a time to be alive! Because it's not an unhappy ending until it ends. The best love stories have to have nearly impossible obstacles. That is how the relationships are tested.

Just thinking about how I've always hyperfixated in the past vs. how I do now. I realized it's because I finally have hope. I can't consume fics because I trust the creators and writers of canon so explicitly that I know they will continue showing how they respect the viewers while also acknowledging the significance, the absolute necessity of delving into the arcs and development the characters need to find within themselves.

I believe David Jenkins and Neil Gaiman are determined to do right (as Bryan Fuller would be, if ever given the chance to continue), not by all the vastly different opinions of the countless countering fans, but by the way they have shown genuine acknowledgement to the romance and enough respect for the love interests to make them face challenges that help them grow. Queer characters are the leads' now, and they are fully-formed yet ever-changing, unique representations, flirting with fun stereotypes, without reducing them to the worst and most inaccurate social stigmas.

So, I'm ever-resolute to hold out for canon, because I don't want to get my head so full of incredible fanfic that I have my opinion change from constantly switching perspectives.

These writers are changing the game so much that I can't help but trust that - even beyond just the romantic aspect - they actually care about the development of the characters, they aren't defined by just being gay, they are complex.

In other words, I'm in a perpetual state of refreshing Macden fic updates every time I want to read something, and trying to conjure the desire to write again, so I can get back this other Macden fic, after having spent the past two years straight writing the most fics I have for any ship in my entire life.

But, yeah, it's totally crazy to realize that the reason I can not read any of the amazing fics out there for Our Flag Means Death, Hannibal & Good Omens is because these shows are already so enthusiastic and welcoming of their queer characters.