#WHAT???? WHO IS GOING TO WIPE THEIR ASS WITH THIS

[lheesluv]

I Want You (l.hs)

Soft kisses turned into deep kisses. If Heeseung thought you were horny, he was even hornier.

PAIRINGS - soft dom!heeseung x fem!reader

GENRE - smut

WARNINGS - smut (mdni), p in v, pwop, protected raw sex, breeding kink, creampie, fingering, oral sex (fem receiving), horny ass mfs, pet names, Imk if i missed anything!

WC - 2k

A/N — yall know what it is… another scene from my wattpad series "My Secret Lover.” also… happy 200 followers, yay!!! lowkey poured 3/4 of my heart into this so…

© All rights reserved Iheesluv do not copy, repost, or translate.

"Heeseung," you muttered. "Hm?" He hums, still pressing light butterfly kisses on your neck. You let out a small whine, tugging on the back of his hair gently. "What is it that you want, love? Hm?" He's clearly teasing you, forcing you to tell him with words.

"Want you," you admit, barely a whisper but loud enough for him to hear. "Do you now?" you nodded, pleading. "Yes, please."

You watched as he pulled his t-shirt over his head in awe, admiring his upper body.

He raises his eyebrow, looking down at you. "Are you going to watch me or get undressed too?" You nodded shyly and started to undress yourself as he undressed his lower half.

You watched him with hooded eyes as he jerked his length against your bareness. He was doing this as if he was teasing you.

"Seung-ah," you called his name out in a whine. "Yes, love?" He answers you with a sly smile. He knew what he was doing. He knew it made you lose my patience.

He held his length against your core and slowly grinded the tip of his dick up and down your wet slit. Your eyes closed tight, squirming under him. "P-Please," you begged for more.

"Hm," He hums softly, still slowly grinding against you, spreading more slick. The head of his cock occasionally bumps your clit with every drag. "I think you need some prepping first, don't you think, darling?" He says, retracting from you.

You whine at the sudden loss of friction. "Shh, shh. I got you, baby. You'll get me soon," he says, spreading your thighs apart with the palm of his hand.

Slowly, he collects your wetness with his middle finger up and down before slipping the finger inside. The sudden intrusion made you gasp. Your hands immediately gripped his sheets under you.

He moved his finger in and out a few times before slipping a second finger in. You let out a shaky breath, followed by a soft moan as you felt the pad of his fingers massaging the inside of your walls.

The sopping wet sound echoed in the four-walled room as his fingers thrust in and out of your pussy every time. Your cheeks flushed pink feeling embarrassed, but it was slowly forgotten when the pleasure took over.

"You're so wet, baby. Who's all of this for? Hm?" He coos. "Y-You, for you," you gasped, arching your back at the feeling.

He pulled his fingers away and before you could complain, the warmness of his tongue came in contact with your pussy.

You gasped. Your hands that were once gripping the best sheets shot up to hold a grip on his hair. "F-Fuck, Heeseung." He hums against your core, flicking his tongue up and down your slit, lapping up your wetness.

You tightened your grip on his hair, causing him to groan against you. His arms were wrapped around your thighs, speeding up each lick. The sharp point of his nose continuously stimulated your clit. "T-Too much."

Heeseung pulls away with a string of salvia connected from your wetness to his lips. He used the back of his hand to wipe his lips before hovering over you again.

He leans in to kiss you again as his arms roam around your body. He pulls away briefly, still centimeters away from you. "Heeseung," you whisper. "Yes, darling?"

"I want you."

Heeseung looks at you with soft eyes before chuckling softly. His fingers tucked a few loose strands behind your ear. "You know I'm not doing this to get you back right? I genuinely want to be with you." You nodded, smiling softly at the boy.

"Only if you say yes, my love."

"Yes. Please, Heeseung."

He positioned himself in missionary position. He looked at you with worry. "Condom. Fuck, I left it in my car." "I'm on a pill today, it's okay," you assured him.

With no hesitation, he slowly pushed himself in. You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling the tip of his cock brush past your cervix. He groans once he's bottomed out completely.

"Fuck, so tight," he says with a shaky breath. You let out a mewl, feeling the veins of his cock with every drag. Your hands went to clutch his sheets, unable to take the pleasure.

He had wrapped his hands under your thighs, pulling you closer to his pelvis. Surely, marks will be left on your thighs, but that was the least of your worries right now.

His length got coated with your slick after every thrust. His pace gradually sped up, easily slipping in and out of you due to your wet arousal.

Your back arched at the immense feeling, your head throwing back into his pillow. "G-God, you're s-so good," you breathed out past your parted lips.

"Yeah? Does it feel good?"

"Yes, fuck yes it feels so good," you blabbered out, trying to surpass the moans that wanted to slip out.

His sweaty bangs covered his forehead, sweat threatening to drip. His eyebrows were furrowed as his parted lips let out stuttered moans.

Your own eyebrows furrowed not only at the pleasure but at how goddamn hot Heeseung looked right now.

"Fuckkk," you whined, trying to open your eyes again. You noticed how he would let out a small pant after his cock would slam into you.

"Shit, you're fucking dripping, darling," he chuckles softly, gently squeezing your thighs. "Rub yourself for me, baby."

You obeyed his order and slowly rubbed your clit. "Oh, f-fuck." Your eyes shot open, surprised at the new sensation. His cock head managed to hit your g-spot so well. You cried his name out in pleasure.

"You're not going to cum yet, are you, love? Hm?" he asks me, still lunging his cock in me. You quickly shook your head. "N-No."

"Good because I'm not done with you."

He releases his grip from your thighs and balances himself on your sides, chest to chest. Your arms moved to hold a grip on his back.

You felt his breath against the side of your neck with every thrust. The room was filled with your skin slapping and constant moans. You hated how quiet Heeseung kept himself.

"I wanna hear you too," you whispered in his ear. Heeseung let his bottom lip go from his bite and let out a sultry moan.

He then bent your right leg and pressed it up to your chest. His hips kept moving and never faltered. He would let out groans when he felt your nails digging into his back.

"My pretty perfect girl," Heeseung pants in the crook of your neck, snapping his hips against yours. You felt your eyes roll to the back of your head, feeling him hit every right spot. "Fuck, H-Heeseung, please, please, please," you cried.

"Are you close, baby? Do you want to cum?" He asked, almost teasing you. You answered him, nodding your head repeatedly. His hips somehow moved faster, fucking you faster to your climax.

Your body felt weak. You just laid there, letting him use you as a fuck toy.

"C-Cumming, Fuck, I-I'm cumming! H-Heeseung!" You cried out. Your high-pitched moans filled the room as I hit your climax.

Heeseung left soft kisses on your face as you calmed down from your high. "You didn't get to finish yet," you said in a soft tone. Heeseung smiled and stroked your head. "Think you can take more of me?" He asks in a teasing tone.

You simply nodded. You purposely clenched your walls around his hard cock in you, forcing a groan out of him.

He pulled out of you, causing you to let out a small whine at the loss of friction.

"Turn around for me."

You turned your body around and stuck your ass up. He positions his cock at your hole and massages your ass.

"Push it back on me, baby," he ordered you softly. You use your knees to push yourself back on him. Pushing his dick in yourself felt different, but good.

You whined into his pillow, breathing heavily at the stretch. You lifted your head up and turned your neck back, waiting for your next order.

"Come on. Fuck yourself on me. Make me cum."

The insides of your stomach turned at his lewd words. You start using your knees, fucking yourself back on his dick. His hands that were on your ass guided you with each thrust.

"F-Fucking shit, you're so good, baby," Heeseung sighs. From how weak his voice sounded, you already knew how he looked. His eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed. His teeth biting down on his lip to hold back his moans, wanting to assert his dominance.

You whimpered back in response, feeling every inch of his length move in and out of you. Your legs started to feel weak. You turned your head back, admiring the state Heeseung was in.

"Please fuck me," you begged him. "Tired already?" You nodded, biting the bottom of your lip, feeling him thrust into you slowly.

You dropped your head down and buried your face in his pillow. My loud moans and cries were muffled, allowing you to hear his groans and moans better.

"God, you're so wet. All for me, baby?" he asked you, panting. You nodded your head. "Y-Yes. All for y-you, Hee." "Fuckkk," Heeseung moans, gripping your waist tighter, slamming his hips against your ass.

"Shit! Just like t-that, fuck!" You sobbed out in pleasure. "Just like that?" he asks you, hitting that spot repeatedly. "Fuck! Y-Yes, yes," you moaned, sloppily moving your hips back on him.

As you got near your second climax, your walls clenched around him more frequently. His balls slapped against your ass after every hard thrust.

"You like me deep inside you like this, don't you? God, you're so fucking p-perfect. You're all mine, f-fuck," Heeseung babbles out as he moves his hips at a fast pace. You lay there, only being able to let out moans.

The more he talked, the closer it brought you to your climax. You managed to turn your head back again, wanting to see him.

"I-I'm close, baby. J-Just a little more, please," he moans out with closed eyes and clenched jaw. "You're gonna let me cum in you, right? Won't you, my pretty princess?" His pace never slowed down as he rambled out dirty words.

You didn't have the energy to respond. You only clenched around his thick length and moaned. "You'd like that, won't you, baby?" His hips started to stutter as he got close to his release.

"F-Fuck, you would like that— me filling you with my cum," he answered for you. His words rather seemed to be guiding him closer to his climax.

"Please c-cum in me, H-Heeseung," you managed to speak past your stuttered moans. His hips moved faster and harder. The wet noise, moans, and slapping intensified.

"Oh god— fuck, Heeseung," you moan with a sigh, gripping the sheets tightly. His breath got shorter and shorter, his thrusts becoming sloppy.

"Turn around. I need to see your face when you cum for me."

You did as he said and he took no time to plunge himself back into you. "Fuck, your tight pussy is gonna make cum, baby," he moaned, throwing his head back as he thrusts into you.

"Please cum inside of me," you cried out, desperate for his cum. "Keep talking to me like t-that," Heeseung groans, his grip on your hips tightening.

"Want your cum so bad," you whimpered. You chewed on my bottom lip, holding back your moans, wanting to hear him when he cums. You watched as his eyebrows knit together again, his teeth biting down harshly on his bottom lip when the pleasure felt too good.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm cumming. Fucking cumming in this tight pussy," his stuttered moans blended together with your high-pitched moans. "Cum with me, baby."

You felt him twitch in me before his warm cum painted your walls as you released with him. He pulls out and watches his cum flow out of you in awe.

You both panted heavily from the rough workout. Heeseung dropped his body beside you and pulled you close to him.

"Thank you," he whispered, rubbing the sides of your waist. "For what?" "For being a good girl for me," he giggles, rubbing the tip of his nose against the crook of your neck.

[sosasturns]

handlin business - c. sturniolo

the low hum of the range rover's engine filled the empty lot, headlights casting long shadows against the rusted shipping containers. chris sat in the driver's seat, one hand draped casually over the steering wheel while the other scrolled through his phone. you, seated in the passenger seat, pulled at the hem of your hoodie, the oversized essentials fabric swallowing you up in the dim light.

"how much longer?" you murmured, glancing out the tinted window at the dark stretch of concrete.

chris didn't answer right away, his thumb tapping out a reply to some unread text. finally, he slid his phone into his lap, his profile sharp as he looked past you, eyes narrowing on the figure stepping out of a black sedan a few feet away.

"not long. stay in the car," he said firmly, voice low. you rolled your eyes but didn't argue, watching as he pushed open the door and stepped out, his black nike tech blending into the shadows.

jay was already waiting, a slim, wiry figure leaning against his car with the nonchalant air of someone who thought he was untouchable.

"bout time," chris said, walking up, his hands in his pockets.

"traffic," jay replied with a smirk, straightening up as he reached into the backseat to pull out a black duffle bag.

you leaned forward in your seat, straining to hear their conversation through the cracked window. chris's posture was relaxed, but there was something about the way his shoulders squared up that made your stomach tighten.

jay unzipped the bag, holding it open for chris to inspect. even from the car, you caught the metallic glint of what was inside.

everything seemed fine at first-until it wasn't. you couldn't hear exactly what jay said, but whatever it was had chris stiffening, his head tilting slightly as if to say, you wanna run that by me again?

your hand went to the door handle instinctively, ignoring the warning echoing in your head: stay in the car.

by the time you stepped out, chris had shifted his stance, one hand brushing the waistband of his pants where you knew his glock sat snug. he didn't pull it—he didn't need to. the action alone was enough to make jay pause, his hands going up slightly.

"the fuck are you doin' out here?" chris snapped, his voice sharp as he turned to see you standing a few feet away, arms crossed.

"you looked tense," you said simply, your tone laced with a mix of concern and defiance.

jay's eyes flicked between the two of you, a smirk curling at his lips. "this your girl?"

chris didn't answer. instead, he took a step closer to jay, the weight of his presence enough to wipe the smirk clean off his face.

"y’got what i came for or not?" chris asked, his tone steady but dangerous.

jay swallowed, nodding quickly. "yeah, yeah, it's all here. clean, like you asked."

chris reached out, grabbing the bag with one hand, his other still hovering close to his waistband as he gave jay a look that said ‘don't make me regret this.’

"count it," you murmured from behind him, earning a sharp glance from chris.

"she always this mouthy?" jay asked, chuckling as he rubbed the scruff on his chin.

"watch y’self," chris said, his voice low and cold. you bit back a smirk as chris opened the bag, rifling through its contents with a practiced eye. satisfied, he zipped it up and tossed it over his shoulder.

"we out," he said to you, turning back toward the car. jay opened his mouth to say something else, but one look from chris had him thinking better of it.

as you followed chris back to the range rover, he grabbed your waist, pulling you close.

"what part of stay in the car didn't you understand?" he asked, his voice a quiet growl.

"the part where i saw your jaw clench like you were two seconds from airing this bitch out," you shot back, shrugging as you slid into the passenger seat.

chris huffed out a laugh, shaking his head as he started the car. "hard-headed ass," he muttered, glancing over at you.

you buckled your seatbelt, leaning back as the range rover rolled onto the main road. "we getting food? chilli's is right down the road."

chris glanced over, one hand resting on the wheel. "chilli's?" he repeated, eyebrows raised.

"yeah, chilli's. a triple dipper sound’ real good right now," you said, trying to keep a straight face.

he let out a short laugh, shaking his head. "you don't listen, you stress me the fuck out, and now y’want chilli's?" he said, lips curving into a smirk. "runnin’ my pockets, man."

“problem?” you smirked back, crossing your arms. "u-turn this bitch around, i’ll go ask your fr—”

the car halts to a sudden stop at the green light, your words making chris look over at you with a raise of his brow.

"lil’ girl," he said, a playful warning in his tone, but the smile tugging at his mouth told you he didn't mean it. his hand reaching to wrap around the back of your neck. “keep playin’ with me ‘n watch where it get’ you.”

you could only smile, your eyes searching over his face with amusement.

“lights green,” you murmur, smirking as he lets out a low hum, his eyes narrowing. his hand slowly loosening on your neck though he still kept it there.

brrrrrrrrrrrrt. the sound of someone honking their car horn drawled out making chris eyes advert yours and calmly shift to the rear view.

pressing his hand down onto the steering wheel, he honked back, his foot resting on the break like he wasn’t holding up traffic.

“chris,” you murmur, letting out a small breath of a laugh as you knew how petty he could get with road rage. “go.”

he smirked, watching the traffic light switch to yellow as more cars began to honk from behind.

“i’m good,” he replied, resting his hand on his lap as he looked ahead.

“i’ll give you head.” you counteroffer, a smirk tugging on your lips as you watch him turn his gaze back towards you, his foot pressing down heavy on the gas, making the car drive forward.

running the red light, the engine purring as he zoomed down the road. his hand steady on the wheel as his other shuffled on his lap, undoing his belt.

you scoff, unbuckling your seatbelt as he motioned you closer with his hand in a beckoning motion. “now?” you questioned teasingly, looking him up and down, though you were very much with it.

“hell yeah now, girl…” he scoffed, smirking. “better put in work for that triple dipper.”

@ sosasturns

sosas 💬’s : another addition to the shoota!chris n bottle girl!reader au! want more? sound off in my inbox! requests r open

“sosa mafia” taglist: @submattenthusiast @sophand4n4 @secretlocket @mrsdillonx @ch6rm @sweetrelieef @gabri3la-sturns @inspiredangel @sturn777 @et6rnalsun @faiyaz555 @whore4mattsturniolo @courta13 @katie-tibo @ifwdominicfike

[transsexualunderground]

horrible news, everyone. thomas the tank engine toilet paper exists

and for the holidays...

i think i am going to snap

[doctahchang]

just had a very epic thought that for the most part we didn't see janeway in starfleet in a literal sense but rather, we saw her living out her idea of it. no wonder girl seemed to be struggling in prodigy

[moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom]

I just find it mind-boggling that some people will reblog things like “Anakin didn’t care about Rex and his men, he wouldn’t listen to Fives just because he was friends with Palpatine” and then in the next post be gushing over Rexwalker/Rexanidala like???? so you agree. Anakin does care about Rex?

[timetravellingkitty]

I could elaborate on said negative feelings but that would require not having a runny nose

[tamaharu]

i love reading fan-translated manga bc one group will make it sound incomprehensible due to the lack of localization, one group will make it sound completely normal, and one group will make it sound incomprehensible due to the extremity of localization. never change.

[rinsoap]

ngl i would rather be called a slur than be stuck in a room full of white ppl being the only poc there

[novadreii]

hold up. pause.

i couldn't get 15 minutes into the finale without crying. had to stop and write this. my heart SO goes out to marissa! i relate to her so hard, having been in a weirdly similar situation to her. was also with a two-faced performative leftist Nice Guy who looooooved that i'm a Strong Woman with intense energy in the beginning, and once we moved in together decided actually, i was too much. EERILY similar to ramses.

"that's what every guy feels. they love the first few months of dating me, cause the energy is so fucking great. like i get it, i've heard that before." i wanted to hug her so badly!!!! it's the most vile feeling on earth for someone to use the reasons they used to love you as the reasons they don't anymore.

meanwhile, marissa sees their difference in vibe/energy (ramses being the "calmer" one and marissa being the more intense one) as something to be celebrated and just worked around where consideration is needed. her love supersedes and she doesn't have a need to be in a relationship with someone who is exactly fucking like her.

the poor girl was so shooketh. she couldn't believe how suddenly he changed his mind, from one minute loving everything about her and wanting to get married to wanting to break up the next. god, i understand the whiplash from that shit. she is going to need therapppyyyyyyyy.

we as women need to stop thinking that men are just having a great time in a relationship with us if they haven't brought anything up!! they do not communicate the way we do. women being quiet = everything is fine. men being quiet = everything MIGHT be fine, but he could just as equally be deeply unhappy and plotting his escape/affair. they actually are sociopathic in that they can act like they love us to placate us while they find a way to fade out of the relationship. us women know that if we're done we can't even touch him anymore!

i'm so tired of seeing the pure love of women be fucking corrupted by user men. please understand that a man's emotional landscape may as well be an alien planet, they do not experience love the way we do at ALL. women love unconditionally, faithfully, like mothers. a man's love is conditional to the dopamine he gets from your presence. that's it. and because dopamine and therefore feelings fade in and out, you point blank cannot trust a man to stay by your side throughout all of your seasons of life.

maybe he's good for right now, sure, but don't depend on him being in the picture long term. imagine when you give birth and experience physical and emotional changes, or if you go through an illness, experience a personal loss, etc. most men will not hesitate to cut you loose the moment you don't make him feel good 24/7 anymore and need to lean on HIM. they don't want to be depended on, because dependence = expectations, and expectations = control = loss of freedom to a man. there is nothing more important to a man than the freedom to do whatever the fuck he pleases at all times.

please watch this show as a way to better understand how duplicitous men operate. i don't care if you don't watch reality tv bc you're better than that, neither do i, but this show is the exception.

every SINGLE man on the cast this season has displayed GIANT red flags from day 1 IF you know how to look. there isn't a single man on S7 who i would say is real husband material. whether it's being a liar, unfaithful, hiding things about their pasts, and being actual man children who have never had to lift a finger in their entire lives, it's clear this season that the casting of the men was meant to be a cautionary tale.

[the-force-awakens]

You: I can tolerate a lot of bullshit from this fandom, but i draw the line at doubting Poe's piloting abilities

Seem about right?

THAT'S ME THAT'S ME TO A FUCKING TEE, BABEY.

I'm sorry but there is no one, no fucking one, in the GFFA that flies anything remotely close to how Poe flies. The only pilot I've ever seen that comes close is Plo Koon, aka my actual father. I love him so much.

Okay, like I'm sorry but Han is not beating this man. Han rounded down on the Kessel Run so he didn't even do it in 12 parsecs, actually. It might be true that Han is better at flying freighters, but I think we can easily say that Chewie is also doing some of the heavy lifting there as well because they're a two man team.

POE DID NOT GRADUATE FROM FLIGHT ACADEMY A YEAR EARLY, BE PUT IN CHARGE OF HIS OWN SQUADRON AND GIVEN THE RANK OF COMMANDER A YEAR OR SO AFTER THAT, AND BE PUT IN CHARGE OF THE RESISTANCE'S ONLY FLIGHT WING*, JUST FOR PEOPLE TO SLANDER HIS ABILITIES LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!

And that's not even getting me STARTED on the fact that he easily lightspeed skips (or the fact that he first did so at 17), how quickly he's able to familiarize himself with other ships in order to fly them, THE FACT THAT HE FLEW A SAIL THROUGH THE STORMS ON PHERYON WHICH HARDLY ANYONE SURVIVES DOING, or the fact that he blew up Starkiller AND survived a one man assault on a fucking Dreadnaught AND a Stardestroyer

NOBODY IS OUT FLYING HIS ASS, OKAY. THIS IS THE HILL I AM CHOOSING TO DIE ON ITS MY TOXIC TRAIT, I FULL HEARTEDLY BELIEVE HE COULD KICK EVERY PILOT IN THE GFFA'S ASS HE'S BEEN TAUGHT BY SHARA FUCKING BEY AND WEDGE ANTILLES LIKE COME ONNNNNN

*which consists of two squadrons. well originally four. but then it was two. This doesn't include the bombing squadrons btw Fossil is in charge of those.

[sanderssidesthehouse]

Sanders Sides is really annoying (affectionate?) to me bc when we talk about 'canon' most people in the conversation are all going to have different ideas of what 'canon' is from each other. For example, for me (and I'm making this post bc I wanted to clarify what I in particular am talking about when I talk about canon) canon is the mainline canon videos, asides (and videos that were previously asides) as well as other dedicated videos (such as the grwm) are supplementary but not canon, and nothing else is canon. But then there are people who take clarifying tweets as canon. And that's fine! It just makes it a little confusing when people are talking about 'canon' but everyone is talking about a different range of information.

Like I'll personally admit I'm a little snobby about what I consider canon. I'm the type if person that thinks if the creator wants something to be canon, it should be stated, implied, or possible to extrapolate from the canon work. For example with Dungeon Meshi, I don't take Daydream Hour as canon information, but rather supplementary. (Not that I need to bc Ryoko Kui does put everything you need to know into the manga, seriously if you haven't read it, I can't recommend it enough.) But there are some people who do. And that's ok! I also don't take her tweets or interviews as canon. This is a general rule I have in what I take as canon across all fandoms.

And I think I've not been clear enough about what I mean by 'supplementary' and I mean like, for example in Ace Attorney I am again, a total snob, and I only count canon as AA 1-4 and AAI 1&2 and this is not an incredibly unpopular opinion but it's still... y'know. Not considering 2 main line games canon. And there are loads of reasons for that which we don't have time for in this post bc we're not actually talking about Ace Attorney, so to get to my actual point. I don't consider the audio drama CDs to be 'canon' but you bet your ass Mikeko is showing up in my fics (a CD only pet cat for Apollo) and I also just stated I don't view AA5 as canon, or at least the same canon (it's complicated) but I love playing around with Clay's concept and several of the other characters from 5+6. I'm just not talking about them when I'm talking strictly about canon.

Idk if I explained that well enough (and if I didn't, please ask me to clarify). I just feel like everyone should have access to the information that I am a snob with unpopular opinions and I love you even if you're less of a snob than me. In fact that would probably be a plus. You DO NOT have to agree with me, I love when people have their own opinions, 'it takes all sorts' and all that, yeah? I just wanted to clarify what I'm talking about when I mention canon.

[ruvviks]

made the realization my vampire story would work best as a video game and now i can't stop thinking about it

[pandorashearts]

ive been forced to wake up to texts from my existence forcer three days in a fucking row now im so exhausted leave me the ever loving absolute fuck alone already u pathetic sack of shit

[nerdynikki94]

BITTERSWEET RANT ABOUT QUEER (MLM) CHARACTERS IN CURRENT MEDIA

I used to think it was impossible for me to hyperfixate on a show/ship without reading and writing nonstop fanfic about it. But then, a year and a half ago, I watched OFMD and I staunchly refused to read or write any fanfic, because I needed to wait it out and see how the amazing writers planned the story to continue. (I'm ecstatic for October 5th.)

I still considered myself to continue obsessing over my queer ships, especially when I watched Galavant and fell into a bit of a Richard/Gareth hole (but there are very few fics, I planned to write one but kept going back to my Macden fics).

Then, I watched Hannibal, and I tried to read fics, planned one too, but I just couldn't get into it, and preferred obsessively rewatching the show instead.

Now I'm literally refreshing fanvids of our Ineffable Husbands from Good Omens on YT daily, but completely unable to even glance at fics.

It's funny to think how far we are coming with queer characters in media, and I'm just so excited to see shows that refuse to queerbait. They aren't using a viewership by playing with never-ending hints and nods but zero follow through. They are acknowledging that acts of abandonment or betrayal have consequences, regardless of the initial intentions. They refuse to do that kind of disservice to the respective narrative journeys of these characters.

Yes, they may be angsty and a bit sad right now, but Goddammit, we are finally getting sincere, star-crossed gay love stories. Tragic, but not in your typical heartbreaking Brokeback Mountain -esque media from the past (no hate, love the movie, thought the short story was okay).

These queer love stories are giving the same kind of painful passion as some of the best dramatic romances around (one of my fave genres). What a time to be alive! Because it's not an unhappy ending until it ends. The best love stories have to have nearly impossible obstacles. That is how the relationships are tested.

Just thinking about how I've always hyperfixated in the past vs. how I do now. I realized it's because I finally have hope. I can't consume fics because I trust the creators and writers of canon so explicitly that I know they will continue showing how they respect the viewers while also acknowledging the significance, the absolute necessity of delving into the arcs and development the characters need to find within themselves.

I believe David Jenkins and Neil Gaiman are determined to do right (as Bryan Fuller would be, if ever given the chance to continue), not by all the vastly different opinions of the countless countering fans, but by the way they have shown genuine acknowledgement to the romance and enough respect for the love interests to make them face challenges that help them grow. Queer characters are the leads' now, and they are fully-formed yet ever-changing, unique representations, flirting with fun stereotypes, without reducing them to the worst and most inaccurate social stigmas.

So, I'm ever-resolute to hold out for canon, because I don't want to get my head so full of incredible fanfic that I have my opinion change from constantly switching perspectives.

These writers are changing the game so much that I can't help but trust that - even beyond just the romantic aspect - they actually care about the development of the characters, they aren't defined by just being gay, they are complex.

In other words, I'm in a perpetual state of refreshing Macden fic updates every time I want to read something, and trying to conjure the desire to write again, so I can get back this other Macden fic, after having spent the past two years straight writing the most fics I have for any ship in my entire life.

But, yeah, it's totally crazy to realize that the reason I can not read any of the amazing fics out there for Our Flag Means Death, Hannibal & Good Omens is because these shows are already so enthusiastic and welcoming of their queer characters.

[abyssalpriest]

if i disappear after saying that ive been assassinated no jokes aside if i take that down its not bc i disagree with it, you can still pin it on me as a belief that i think that shit should be said and ill put my whole ass behind it, but saying shit like that has consequences lmfao. also theres a time and a place to bring that up

[stopfunkinwmyheart]