#WHAT THE FUCK WAS BUDDY UP TO WHILE BANISHED

[captainsparklefingers]

If I had a nickel for every time a former cleric of Helio created a new god in the Aguefort Adventuring Academy gym, I'd have two nickels. Which is fuckin' wild.

[i-loved-silly]

WOLVERINE x READER x DEADPOOL — fuckup twinsies

dp&w spoilers!!

So I had a silly idea. Sorry if it’s out of character, I haven’t written for canon characters in a fat while but these two are stuck in my head. Enjoy :3

POV: you’re a dimension hopper : sent to the Void as a punishment for doing your thing. Damnit

Dust. Sand. Desert. That was all you knew ever since you were banished here. The place you were basically forced to call home—funnily enough, (actually it’s rather sad) you had forgotten what your real home was. A large, and I mean LARGE amount of timeline touching and dimension hopping does that to you.

By spending years of visiting dimensions and maybe messing a couple things up, you damaged your own timeline. Simply because you wanted to take Mr Captain America’s shield back to your home dimension. What can you say, a little artifact doesn’t hurt, right?

Except it did.

Now you’re stuck here, and honestly? It’s fine. You had nothing to return to anyway. At least you thought. TVA explained it that way, anyways. Everything was fine. You spent your years here surviving and avoiding Cassandra Nova by making your own little underground hobbit hole. How cute.

Everything was the same everyday—you hid out, occasionally left to find food and materials, came back to safety. Until one day you heard something while out scavenging—almost like distant yells? From above you??—You looked up and was shocked to see two figures falling out of the sky and barreling straight for you.

"OOMF --" You were thrown onto the sand on your back, you swore you felt a couple bones break...or something. All your belongings in your little ripped backpack went flying around you and the others stabbed into your back. Then there was the weight on top of you. A muscular , red, and talkative weight.

"Owww, oh fuck, that hurt. I hit bones. I just hit someon--oh." Deadpool groaned, snapping his elbows back into place to get a good look at you. He blinked. "Well lookey here, who the hell are you? Wait, did i kill them?" He gasped as he saw your pained scowl.

Wade frantically shook you by the shoulders. Getting hit by something from that high should have killed you. You coughed, ugh...your whole body hurt. You don’t remember if you gave yourself overpowered abilities before hopping into this dimension…or the last one. Was it during the time you went to the Loki-verse? Season one, episode five? Nah.

"Get off of them," Logan grunted, dusting himself off from his spot a few feet away. Hey, at least you weren’t hit by both of them. "See what you did, you fucking idiot? Get away from them."

"Woah, okay! First of all, it's not like I wanted to crash into someone like a wrecking ball, got it? I am not Miley. But look, they're fine!" He shook you by the shoulder again and you spat out a bit of blood.

"Guhh..." You groaned, rolling over. Yep, your bones were definetly crushed.

"We're not here to poke around, Wade. We're on a mission." Logan glanced at your beat up form wearily--oh well, if you weren't dead by now you'll be fine.

"Fine," Wade let go of you, letting your body flop back onto the sand with another "thud" on impact. "Oops, Im sooo sorry. I-..oh come on! Don't you have at least a little bit of a curious tickle? They can help us." He whined, gesturing to you and to Logan.

"They're a stranger, bub. Just...leave em there." He hesitated, then grunted and turned the other way.

You groaned in pain again--seems like they're your only lines--and sat up on your elbows. Your head was pounding and suddenly it was too bright outside. "W-wait..I’m fine..just let me.." You pressed your palm against your forehead.

Wade leaned down in front of you, placing his hands on his knees. "Oh, you're alive. Good. Why are you here, little buddy?"

You tried laughing nervously but a cough interrupted you. Right, there was sand in your lungs. "I uh...couple years ago I touched a timeline I shouldn't have. More like, a lot of timelines. Kinda-sorta fucked up."

Wade let out a loud gasp and placed his hands on the sides of his face, then made a giddy noise. "Eek! Fuck up twinsies! You heard that, Logan? We aren't the only dimensional fuck ups!" He was oddly enthusiastic, the scruffy guy in the distance wasn't so much.

Actually now that you think about it, he seemed a bit enraged. Just a bit. “Who the hell is we?”

"Who are you again?" You muttered, grunting as you worked on standing up. Wade extended a hand and you took it, before you could thank him—he quite literally yanked you up by the arm like a fucking ragdoll. You hit his chest and your eyes widdened.

"How the heck do you not know me? I mean you probably don’t know him, that sexy beast of a man is Logan, professionally Wolverine. Not a very good one though. Anyway, I'm Wade Wilson, but you can call me Wade. Or Deadpool. Or the Merc with a Mouth. Or the Chimichanga Bandit. Or—"

"Wade, shut the fuck up."

Wait.

“Wait, you’re Deadpool and Wolverine? Like the real ones?”

PART 2

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 13 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

warning(s): derogatory slurs! several of them!

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 11 / chapter 12 / chapter 14

It was Friday. The last day of school, the night of the talent show, and just a few days before Christmas. They'd be passing out the candy cane-grams. There'd be some assembly, probably.

Your leg jittered restlessly while you tried to focus on your bio paper. What kind of sadistic fuck assigned an essay on the last day before break? The biology teacher, apparently. He had a superiority complex, you were sure. Allergic to happiness.

Your mind kept drifting back to the photo album. Surely, Regina had it. You'd put it in her locker on Wednesday, so she'd have found it first thing Thursday morning. You hadn't dared to take a peek in her locker, afraid Gretchen would sniff you out again.

Something had clearly gone down between them. Gretchen didn't sit with them at lunch, instead opting for her boyfriend's clique. She didn't seem to fit in too well and Jason didn't seem too pleased to have her there. Karen and Regina sat by themselves, conversing casually.

Cady had been banished somewhere. You'd heard talk Aaron had dumped her. You knew Janis and Damien weren't talking to her after she turned her back on them. Since the whole Kälteen bar shebang and the subsequent smear campaign Regina had doled out, she hadn't been exactly welcome at any table. From what you understood, Gretchen and Cady were on speaking terms, but Karen and Gretchen weren't, but Cady and Karen were. It was all terribly confusing.

You had a table for yourself. Some of your old friends crowded the ones nearby, quite pointedly not sitting with you. You were no longer cool, it seemed. Easier to focus on your paper, you told yourself. The cafeteria was serving chilli today. The slop was slightly too watery and the meat was a mystery, but it'd do. You'd run out of food at home. You'd wanted a goddamn Christmas dinner and a good slab of ham got pricy. Couldn't rely on Mrs George for a feast this time around.

"Hey," Someone called near you. You looked up, surprised somebody was talking to you. A boy, more specifically a jock judging by the varsity jacket. "You good?"

"What?" Your brows furrowed. "Yeah?"

He smiled smarmily. "Cool."

And he walked away. You kept looking as he went, staring after his back. His buddies were looking your way, the same kinds of grins on their faces. That was odd. Didn't bode well.

It didn't take long for you to find out why. The period following lunch was when Damien would be visiting classrooms as Santa Claus, handing out candy canes.

He walked right up to you with a grin hidden under the fake Santa beard, wiggling his eyebrows all the while.

"The whole bag..." He drawled. "Impressive."

Confused, you peered into the sack. A couple dozen candy canes filled it, apparently all for you. You picked one out, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach as well as the snickering of the boys in the back rows.

Dyke. The message was just one word. It was clearly assigned to you, your whole name displayed proudly. Your body went numb, hands holding the candy limply. There was no signature to show who they were from. People were staring at you. Damien had lingered awhile to see what'd been written to you. The grin behind his beard had turned into a shocked scowl.

"What... What do they say?" Cady, of all people, the nerve of her, asked. She was seated a few rows from you.

"Alright, Mr Leigh, thanks for-" Ms Norbury tried to intervene.

"Dyke." You read out loud. Then you pulled out another. "Lesbo." And another. "Carpet muncher." The boys had trouble holding in their laughs. Another. "Queer." There were others you didn't deign to read out loud. Freak. Pervert. Degenerate. Homo.

If not for a few people finding all this amusing, it would've been dead silent in the classroom.

"These were supposed to be checked before handing out." Ms Norbury strode up to you and promptly confiscated the candies. Her face was set, expression severe, as she regarded Damien sternly.

"I- that wasn't my job. I don't know how, how they would've..." You watched Damien try to put it together.

"Well, is it really offensive if it's true?" Dylan, if you remembered correctly, piped up. He was a sporty guy, decently popular but nothing special. Now, though, he might as well have been an A-lister with how utterly low you'd plummeted.

Murmurs spread out around you. Damien and Ms Norbury retreated to a corner of the classroom to figure out how in the hell this had happened. People were looking at you. Your skin was crawling. It couldn't be Janis who told. She was in the same boat as you and she didn't have the power to do something like this. To make the committee ignore hateful messages meant some strings had been pulled. The only other person that knew, that could realistically do this, was Regina.

You bit your lip, closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Okay. You got the message. The album had been too much. This was a sign to stay away, to forget all the sentimentalities you'd had.

"Hey, calm down now, we'll figure this out- hey!" You didn't pause to listen to Ms Norbury when you booked it out of the stifling classroom. You couldn't bear to be there any longer.

You hid in the bathroom. Both hands held against your mouth so you wouldn't make a noise, you cried long and hard. Your breathing was choppy and laboured, and in no time at all your nose was blocked off entirely. Your eyes stung and your vision blurred.

The bell rang and pretty soon people came into the bathroom. You refused to get out, pretending to take the longest shit ever. It didn't take very long for the people coming in to discuss what had gone down in one of the junior calc classes.

It spread like wildfire. You were pretty sure the boys had nicked some of the candy canes from Ms Norbury since you could hear people reading the notes out loud, the rustling of the plastic covering.

"Who even is that?"

"Who cares? A total freak is what she is. Oh my gosh, Steph, do you think..."

"What?"

"Do you think she used the girls' bathroom? She's probably spread her diseases all over the seats! We're all gonna have gonorrhoea!"

You wanted to sink into the ground and never see daylight again. By the time the bell rang again, signalling the start of the next period, the rumours had inflated and grown disproportionately in severity.

Apparently, you were riddled with sexually transmitted diseases, preyed on freshmen and sold them hard drugs, behaved creepily in locker rooms, and had had a stint with Cady Heron while she was still with Aaron Samuels. You guessed that last one had to do with the time you'd dragged her into the janitor's closet to yell at her about the Kälteen bars.

In short, you were fucked. Your life was fucked. You'd hoped, so hoped, that even if you wouldn't get everything you wanted, you'd get some. You wouldn't get a high school girlfriend, wouldn't have slumber parties, wouldn't be normal. You wouldn't be Regina's friend. Fine. At least you could've had a quiet life, gone to community college and worked at the shop, had some buddies, and maybe lost your virginity one day. Not even that now. Not even a little bit of that. Your future in this town was just no longer there. You had nothing. You were nothing.

You skulked out of the bathroom once you were sure there'd be nobody in the halls. You got into your car and drove home. Just as you'd slumped down onto the couch, the house phone rang. Groaning, you went to answer. If it was your dad, missing it would mean there'd be hell to pay.

"Hello?" Your voice was croaky. It hurt to talk.

"Hi, sweetie! You don't sound too good." Mrs George's chirp greeted you. "I assume you had to leave school 'cause of that. I just happened to see you drive by. Rick got called to work last minute and Kylie's got tutoring till late. Come keep me company?"

"I'm not feeling too well, I'm sorry..." You said, holding the phone to your ear while your other arm wrapped around your body. You tried to breathe deep and not burst out crying, again. Your eyes felt swollen shut.

"Oh, I'll come by with some soup, then," She sounded so genuinely concerned.

You bit your lip. Tummy rumbling in its emptiness, you decided now would be as good of a time as any to bite the bullet.

"Actually, uh, if it's not too much to ask, and um- I-" You took in a shuddering breath. "You don't have to say yes, it's totally okay and I'm sorry if this is, like, too much-"

"Sweetpea, just ask." She chuckled.

"I don't have any food. Or, like, I have ingredients for Christmas 'cause I wanted to make dinner for myself, but I guess I forgot I have to eat before then too?" You tried to laugh, but the sound was strained. "Um, could you take me to the soup kitchen downtown?"

You could've driven yourself. You could've, in that you were capable of driving yourself, but with how your vision was impaired, how your body ached with loneliness, and how you weren't sure you wouldn't just impulsively drive into oncoming traffic, you doubted you would've survived the trip.

"No." She said bluntly. You flinched, feeling the refusal like a knife to the gut. "No, absolutely not. We are going grocery shopping and getting you food to last the rest of the damn year. I'm picking you up."

"Mrs George, I don't have money-"

"You shouldn't be spending your hard-earned money like that. Doesn't your dad send you enough to cover utilities?"

"He sends me grocery money. I gotta pay for gas and stuff on my own."

Mrs George's resounding silence spoke volumes of her opinion on that. "I'm coming to get you. I'm buying you groceries and then we're gonna meal prep. Okay?"

"Okay."

When Mrs George saw you, her determined attitude shifted to that of maternal worry. You fought hard not to break down, though all you really wanted to do was curl into her and cry your little heart out.

She drove you to Whole Foods, a place way out of your budget. But she insisted, so there was little you could do. She took you from aisle to aisle, prattling on and on, chatting about this and that. You listened mostly silently, humming here and there.

She picked out a lot of canned stuff, like beans and tomato purée. All that stuff was made to last forever, so you wouldn't always have to buy fresh ingredients. She bought all your favourite snacks, which she somehow remembered. When you commented on that, she just pointed at her temple with a knowing grin. Mothers never forget, she'd said.

Once you were all done, the cart was quite literally overflowing. The total nearly made your stomach drop out of your ass. Mrs Geoge simply flashed her black card and, without even a wince, paid the price. The receipt was, like, three feet long.

Carrying it all to her car was a daunting task, but a worker did come to help you. A young man, probably home from college, was all too eager to carry the bags for Mrs George.

The way he was blushing all the way up to his ears, the way she was amused by him but not receptive, made you think about what Regina had said months ago. You'd been on your way to her nail appointment and she'd gone on a tangent about how women died at menopause.

Mrs George was thriving. She was above it all. Her worth, or mortality, wasn't determined by the men around her. She'd been cheated on, continuously neglected by her husband, and put down by her teenage daughter, and still, she was beautiful. She existed independently.

In short, you were right and Regina was wrong. You saw things how they really were. She saw things tilted to the left, through a warped lens. The confirming of this brought you no comfort, she'd already ruined you and there was no redeeming herself after this, at least not for you.

"Phew, what a trip, right?" She nudged you with her elbow as she buckled her seatbelt.

You nodded along, voice still weak. You buckled in as well.

"I'll pick you up for the talent show." She said as she turned away from the parking lot. "Oooh, we should have a night in. Order some pizzas and slob around the couch. How's that sound?"

"I don't think I should go to the talent show."

"Oh, why's that?"

"Just... Something happened at school. I don't wanna go."

Mrs George frowned and glanced at you. "Honey, you know you can tell me anything. I still think you should come."

"Everybody hates me." You faced the window and crossed your arms. Very mature.

"I'm sure that's not true." She sighed. "I'm not supposed to tell you, but Regina's got something prepared for you. I think you should go see her at least."

Your face twisted in anger. "Something prepared for me- like she prepared something for me today? I don't fucking think so."

"Language." She said and you grumbled. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing. It's nothing." You rubbed your hands down your jeans. "It's not gonna be good. She's gonna humiliate me."

"It's supposed to be a surprise, but I can guarantee that she's not going to humiliate you."

"What do you know?" You turned to her with narrowed eyes.

"I've been hearing her practice, is all." She responded, tone much too light.

You studied her face carefully. "Fine."

She smiled, seemingly relieved. Then, as if to cut the tension in the car, said:

"Oh, and by the way, I'm filing for divorce." With a giddy smile on her face, she blurted it out. You just stared for a while, almost suffering whiplash from the sudden change in topic.

"Uh... Finally." You laughed a little as you said that.

"Yeah!" She laughed with you. "It's been a long time coming. I just needed to sort some things out. Emotionally and financially. I had to get rid of some investments so I wouldn't have to pay alimony."

Your jaw dropped. The Georges were, like, filthy rich. Rich beyond reason, excess income to a ridiculous degree. You'd always assumed it was Mr George's money. How archaic of you.

"I... I kinda wished you'd done it sooner." You looked forward again. She was driving carefully since the snow made the roads prone to ice.

"Me too. The girls... They... I thought that having two parents would be the most stable, safe environment for them. I was wrong."

"Yeah." You swallowed. "Um. Since we're, like, just saying things. I'm, by the way, gay. Like, a lesbian."

"That's wonderful, honey!"

"Yeah." You couldn't say you agreed.

"Should we go get you a haircut?"

"I don't need to look any more butch than I do."

"I don't know, I think you'd look dashing." She feigned light-hearted. "Regina might like it."

"Mrs George!"

Notes: More drama! Yay! Do y'all think Regina did it?

Taglist posted separately. Please comment on the taglist post to be added on there :)

[mychlapci]

I think ft1!jazz and tf1!bee would be such cute little fuckbuddies <333

like newly-cogged jazz runs to meet w/ Optimus after the whole banishment thing because “hey man remember how you saved me and then ‘died’ but apparently you were alive but then you ACTUALLY died but came back again lol’ and there he meets this hyperactive bot who clearly has like the Autobot version of ADHD and immediately decides he’s GOT to know this guy. like you know when you meet someone and you just KNOW you’d be bffs immediately so you like imprint on them? That’s jazz w bee.

and of course bee is a little apprehensive (as much as a guy like bee can be) because normally he’s the one who has to initiate any social interaction he has, and besides that no one’s ever been like, excited? To hang out with him like that? Like no one (as far as he remembers at least) has ever not needed to warm up to him.

but bee is still bee, so he gets over it almost immediately and is just excited to have a new bff!!

jazz shows bee all the coolest music and spots to hang, and bee shows jazz knife-hand tricks and his sub-level 50 buddies (jazz thinks they’re weird but that good weird where you have no idea what the fuck is going on but you’re excited for you ur friend)!!

bee tries to helps jazz with his alt-form because technically bee has more experience; spoiler alert! it’s a disaster and through classic shenanigans that’s how they end up making our the first time (either thru adrenaline rush or smacking face-plates together on accident)

anyway that one make out sesh lights a spark and suddenly it’s all they can do not to be fucking the shit out of each other every second of the day. Chilling with each other? Bee has Jazz sitting on his face, absolutely drowning in valve. Bee has a break from his Big Government Job? He’s spike-warming Jazz while being fed snacks and getting pet. On the surface for some reason? Oh they’re bumping clits like crazyyyyyy.

just bee and jazz, newly cogged and actually having free time (or, as much as you can during the rebuilding of a society), pinning each other down whenever they have even a few seconds and humping

also added bonus if they eventually get Optimus roped in ;333

(also this is unrelated but i hate how people are ALREADY infantilizing tf1!bee and not in the fun sexy way but in the “clearly that’s a baby and needs adoption” way so this was half inspired by that hatred because bee is not a baby!! that’s a grown man who sucks and fucks babieee)

YESSSS Jazz and Bee fuckbuddies!! they’re fucking any chance they get, you cannot separate them. Yeah! Bee is a horny freak and he deserves to fuck!!

[pekoehoneyncream]

Ghoaptober # 28

Prompt: Help

Words: 800~

TW: None (sfw)

This version of Ghoaptober was created by @spadesandshovels

Very domestic, very acts of service.

Enjoy!

“Here, Si,” Johnny says, plopping the book Ghost had been reading in the mess beside his hand. Ghost had gotten to talking with Price and had put aside the book. He must have forgotten to grab it when they’d left and now Johnny was hand delivering it back into his possession. Casually, like it was nothing.

Ghost laid a possessive hand over the cover, sliding the book to rest directly in front of himself and watching Johnny settle into the chair to his left with equally possessive eyes. The Scot had been doing this for some number of weeks now. Not this -returning forgotten books to him- specifically, but little things. Innocuous favors that made Ghost’s day that small bit easier.

He couldn’t be sure how long Johnny had been doing it exactly, but Ghost had taken a hit from the clue-by-four when they were on a long stake out and Johnny had pulled tea bags and honey packets out from amongst his gear, tea bags and honey packets he’d brought along just so that Ghost could have his cuppa exactly how he liked it while they were squatting in squalor half a world away from home.

On another mission a tango had gotten a lucky shot in and cracked Ghost across the nose, not enough to break it, but enough to give him a gushing nosebleed. It had soaked through his mask in an instant, and Ghost had stoically withstood being half waterboarded by his own blood, until Johnny had cornered him and pulled a clean skull-marked balaclava out from one of the many pouches on his kit. After Ghost had taken the mask, Johnny had turned his back, giving him privacy and guarding him from any looky-loos in one action. No masks had gone mysteriously missing from Ghost’s stash and a closer inspection showed that the balaclava Johnny had given him wasn’t an exact match for any of the masks Ghost had made. Johnny had made a mask for him and then carried it about, just in case Ghost ever needed a spare. That mask had immediately dethroned the balaclava that Ghost had previously -privately- considered his favourite.

If, on another occasion -after the mask Johnny had made had started getting tattered from Ghost overwearing it- Ghost had gotten into a scuffle and emerged suspiciously unscathed except for a rip in his balaclava, just to see if Johnny would do it again -he did-, that was his own business thank you very much.

Ghost had taken it upon himself to return the gestures as best as he could.

He’d bought Johnny a replacement journal when he saw that Johnny's was starting to get full. Splurging in a way he knew Johnny never would, by buying one that’s covers could be folded out into a self-containing waterproof pouch, fleshed out with what was advertised to be anti-bleed quick-drying pages.

Ghost was now constantly at risk for accusations of being a druggy if any fool demanded to search him, because he’d taken to packing a baggy -the canister was too unwieldy to carry around- of the powdered creamer that Johnny liked to put in his coffee. He hadn’t yet gathered the confidence to actually tell Johnny however, and had instead been putting his sleight-of-hand skills through their paces to sneak it into Johnny’s cup, basking in the baffled gratitude Johnny gave him every time he did it.

The look in Johnny’s eyes and the sincere thanks he’d given Ghost when the Sergeant had been cursing over losing his pen and Ghost had pulled another -of the exact same brand and type- out of his kit for him, had banished the nightmares from Ghost’s dreams for weeks.

Ghost had thought he’d known what he’d been signing up for when he’d agreed to Johnny’s nervous proposal that they officially call what they were doing ‘being boyfriends’ instead of just fuck buddies, but with all the little ways Johnny had been going out of his way to be helpful and care for him -the way he stoked an insatiable need in Ghost to see Johnny warm, safe, and wanting for nothing-, he made Ghost feel like they were actual partners.

Voluntarily trapping themselves into a holding pattern of giving the other all they could.

One day Ghost was sure that something would come of the fact that they were both too eager to give and too wary of taking, but today wasn't that day. 

Deftly, Ghost flicked his book open to the last page he’d been reading with his right hand, his left hand busy clamping greedily onto Johnny’s upper thigh. A hidden smile ticked up the corners of his mouth when Johnny firmly took hold of his wrist, not to move his hand, but to reciprocate the connection, and Ghost happily settled in to read until Price and Gaz managed to force the video call that some higherup was demanding into working.

Thank You For Reading!

This one's set early relationship, they're still feeling things out.

PekoeHoneynCream's Masterlist

[stone-stars]

Transcript:

Zirk: But I know this much, Mom, I-- I'm gonna make it. I'm gonna make it real. I've got a couple leads, I've got more knowledge than I've ever had, I learned a lot while I was away. I think I know how to make the All-Cure Elixir. It's gonna take a lot of work, like you said, and… I don't know if I can do it on my own, but I also don't know if I can trust you to help me. Caldwell: Um, while I'm working on this, I think that the way that this kind of-- the way that this looks visually is I'm… basically crafting like a metal music cylinder. [Murph: Mm!] 'Cause I feel like one of the things that this needs in addition to like, the complex spell work to cure wounds but also hold a body in stasis, kind of using some of Fia's time magic, is some sort of like… beacon. And I think that, as opposed to like the single chime of a bell, it needs almost like-- a song. And as I'm like tinkering with this I turn to Hank and I say-- Zirk: Hank, that song you sang about Ill Luck Henry. That-- that was like a sea shanty, right? Henry: Yeah, yeah that's right. Zirk: Do you know any other sea shanties? I just need something that could maybe… help a soul find its way back. Caldwell: Zirk reaches into his pocket. And he pulls out a golden cylinder with little notches on it. And around that cylinder is wrapped a scroll with the instructions on it for how to replicate the Revivify spell. He presses it into Henry's hands, and then puts Fia's hands on top of that. Henry: Hey. You're the doctor, buddy. What are ya-- What are we gonna do with this? This-- Fia: Mister Zirk-- Zirk: Sometimes-- Fia: Mister Zirk we can handle her. We really can. Zirk: Sometimes you think that you're the ending of the equation, but in reality you're just the messenger. You're just there to get it to the right hands. It's been an honor being a Third Mate. Murph: So, Fia, Zirk gave you the stuff for Revivify. This is a near impossible task, the spell has not been cast in forever, normally this would be a DC 30, the DC for something that's near impossible, but since Zirk took it down 5 levels from level 9 to level 4, we'll take 5 off of it and make it a DC 25 arcana check. Emily: I got a fucking 27 right off the fucking bat. [Everyone laughs in relief.] Emily: Oh I didn't even [rolls] technically a 28. Murph: A 28. Caldwell: Oh, yeah. [Sighs in relief] Okay. Okay. Murph: Um, you see Fia goes over, reads-- reads the um, spell that Zirk has put together. Um, and for the first time since Old Zelbuldar was banished, a Revivify spell is cast. Um, you guys see Zirk on the ground, whose body has frozen… Zirk as you died, you felt like-- as if you had like hypothermia. You felt like, a warmth, and you just went to sleep, and then all of a sudden [gasps] you come back. [Zirk coughs. He continues gasping and coughing as Fia talks.] Emily: You wake up to me crying just being like-- Fia, distraught: It should've been you casting this spell. Why is it me? It should've been you, you did all this fucking work, for what? Me to waltz in and fucking do it? Henry: It works! Hey, it works! Fia: It should have been fucking you! It should have been fucking you! Henry: Hey-- Open you-- Open your eyes, Fia. Fia: What? Henry: It-- you did it Zirk. The All-Cure. [Fia breathes heavily, relieved.] Zirk, weakly: They should call you… Doctor Fia. [Henry and Fia laugh.] Fia: I am not accredited. [Caldwell and Murph laugh.]

[artofhazbinhotel]

heyyy you can do a guitarspear short in the garden of eden (where maybe, if you want, Lute will be a curious angel about the new creation/Adam lol)

Here we go! Hopefully it was worth the wait, I had a lot of fun writing this :)

Alone sat a man, alone for the second time, while his wife had been condemned for her sins he wasn't, she was banished and he wasn't. He wouldn't be alone if his kids were awake but the late night silence was better than their cries about where their mother went. He blamed Lucifer for what happened to Eve, not her, she was just listening to a man and that's what she had been taught, if only Lilith learned that, maybe she wouldn't have chosen Lucifer over him, she was too difficult for him. He likes to think he's the one who wanted that to end, not her. The lake he sat by in the grass reflected the moon and he cupped some of the water to his mouth to drink, drinking away your sorrows hadn't been invented yet but he'd try.

He was interrupted by the sight of an angel slowly flying down to him, he wanted to be annoyed but she was kind of hot in his opinion. Long light silver hair, golden eyes with thick lashes, a flowy dress of black and white patterns and matching black and white wings large enough to support her. She landed in front of him and took a seat next to him in the grass, quiet for a minute, like she was thinking of what to say. "I'm sorry about what happened to Eve" she finally said. He sighed, "Geez does all of heaven know? I must look like some fucking loser." She tilted her head "What does fucking mean?"

Adam snickered running a hand through his hair "Oh right, I made it up, it's like something you add before a word to make it sound cooler, what do you think?" He looked at her for approval, he'd always assumed angels would be bigger until he saw Lucifer and now her, she's tiny. The angel thought about it before offering an awkward snicker in return "I like it, maybe I'll use it" He offered a high-five with an enthusiastic: "Hell yeah!" But she wasn't sure what to do so he took her hand and make it tap his for her then let go, it fell back at her side. "So what's your name?"

"I don't have a name" Adam's eyes widened in offense for her "That's lame, what about I give you one?" She smiled and nodded. Adam took her in again, what words come to mind? The animal names were made up, she should get something that doesn't exist yet. "Lulu.. no that's dumb. Light. Already exist." He tapped his head before snapping his fingers, "Lute!" Her eyes lit up, to have the person she's been watching from afar give her this gift was a warm feeling. "I like it"

"Well, it's nice to meet you Lute" "Nice to meet you too, Adam, I always wanted to but it didn't feel like the right time." He tilts his head, "What do you mean?" Lute sighed "As an angel the only way I can access this world is if a soul needs me, I jumped at the chance" "I guess that makes sense, but does that mean you can't visit unless I'm sad?"

Lute paused before answering, "I can sneak out" The human was kind of impressed, "Risky, I like it" Before their chat can continue a small pair of hands tapped Adam's shoulder lightly but several times. He looked down to see Abel, not very old yet. "Hey buddy, what you doing up?" Abel sat beside his father and pointed to Lute "Who's the pretty lady daddy? Is she our new mommy?" Lute blushed embarrassed and shook her head "No no, I'm just an angel-"

Abel stumbled over and snuggled up to her wing "You're like a birdy" Adam picked up his son "Hey you can't go getting all handsy with the ladies unless they're into it" Abel nodded and Lute stood. "I'm sorry to cut this short but I really should be heading back, I have a lot of responsibility up there" Adam looked at Abel and joked "See? Look what you did" Abel just immediately started crying"Wait fuck- I was joking!" He bounced him panicking, Eve was so much better at this parenting thing than he was.

Lute didn't judge, she'd have no idea what to do with a tiny human either. She waved goodbye and so did Adam. Her wings spread and she went back up, he was looking forward to seeing her again, it was the first time he'd felt happy in a while. Okay back to the crying baby, he just kept shaking up and down like a protein drink "Hush little baby don't say a word-" awkward singing ensues.

The two continued their meetings until eventually Adam's death came, Lute watched from behind the gates to welcome him as he was let him in. She took in his new appearance, golden wings and a considerable height boost. "I can show you around" She suggested but he was just excited to see her and lifted her with ease, crushing her against his chest. "Lute! This is great, now we can hang out all we want!" The other angel blushed being so close and tried to shove away, wings flapping rapidly. "Yeah- great- you can put me down now."

Adam nods and sits her down "Oops sorry" He laughed as she fixed her hair. Their conversation was interrupted again by something mirroring their first, it was Abel. "You look so majestic father! I missed you" Adam ran over and ruffled his brown hair, it matched his own. "Not too bad yourself, look at those wings!" Lute watched them with a small smile, it was sweet to see the reunion Abel always talked about, she never filled the mother role in his life, but she did let him ask about his father, she'd never complain to talk about him.

[vixien11]

My thoughts on the new Helluva Boss episode [Spoilers!!] (doing a big ol' post for this one)

Okay here's some early take aways n ideas (I might fuck up some lore so please correct me if I do) The Song (When I See Him) I don't have too many notes, but I do like the purposeful play on words as they are switching between Blitzo and Stolas

it's funny as hell, but the facial expressions were definitely more telling then some of their words. Eye twitches, very furrowed eyebrows, wrinkles, yada yada. Overall I think this song covered all the foreshadowing and looming senses of dread we TOOOOOTALLY NEEDED.... MHM... Definitely needed more emotions about these fuckers. The Cherubs OMG the Cherubs are spiraling. Stealing and lying. It's very clear they are getting Collin to go along with it by convincing him that they "saved a soul".

I believe that Collin will eventually break off from the other cherubs. They may kick him out, or he may leave through his own volition, but he is far more of a good person then Keenie, who is snappy and impulsive, and Cletus, who is manipulative and hypocritical. Collin's main character flaws is that he is meek and quite. Those aren't exactly sins. He is a little cynical too, but so are most angels, especially when it comes to demons.

The Portal

Okay, I need to talk about this. ahem... HOW THE FUCK!?

"Wawawaaa fictional universe bububuuu... Humans have been trying to do this stuff in so many stories bluh bluhhh..." I DON'T CARE. This is power that has to be granted to lower power demons from demon royalty and deadly sins. Like- think about that! I guess government funding helps a lot, but I think the sins are NOT going to be happy about this.

Y'know who else won't be happy about the portal? Heaven. I mean, the idea of humans going to hell and tampering around while still being mortal must be fucking scary for angels. Do you remember what happened last time a living human was in hell?

YEAH. I'm bringing hazbin into this. No one BUT the humans and three banished cherubs are happy about this. Suffice to say, I think the portal will become a lot more important later on. So, duly FUCKING noted. I will be covering my thoughts on the argument at the end of the episode in a separate post, but here's some little notes I had.

1 - I love how Fizz is like "Look at my buddy! He's boutta have sex! I'm heeeelping!! And he's gonna do great. I'm so proud!!"

2 - This armor is cool. Like I want to say something more intuitive, but how am I supposed to analyze it super well? It badass armor based on I.M.P. What do you want from me? Reference scrutinization? Grow up.

3 - LOONA IS LOOKING OUT FOR HER DAD ON HIS DATE NIGHT BC SHE WANTS IT TO GO WELL!!!!

(Bonus shot of human Loona)

[meowmeowriley]

Hi MeowMeow Costume anon here sorry it’s taken a couple days for me to reply life got busy finding one’s honour is harder then I thought!

You want my autistic head canons for Zuko? Strap in for some unhinged rambling because I have ✨thoughts✨ this will be long

(CW: implied child abuse (Fuck Ozai))

Zuko likes music (Iroh mentiones he’s talented with the Tsungi horn) and his swords I also think he would have picked up dancing at some point with how he moved during dance of the dragons.

When he’s around people he trusts he emotes more with his face and masks less in general and I’d say if he felt safe enough he’d do more overt (for him) stimms like humming, minor rocking or tugging on his hair Iroh would be one of his safe people and eventually the gaang would be too

*I don’t think he’d have very obvious stimms in general being raised royal he’d be expected to act a certain way and hand flaps are not it. Also flaming 💩lord Ozai would have seen any aberrations as weakness and stamped that shit out fast

*I honestly think it could be one of the reasons the flaming 💩lord despises Zuko being inherently different would be a weakness in his eyes and reflect badly on him

I think he and May get along well because they’re both autistic and are a safe space for each other. she has trouble processing her emotions he has trouble controlling his they make good emotional counter balances

He cares so much about the people and animals around him even his enemies a strong sense of justice is a common sign of autism and speaking out of turn was the initial reason for his banishment.

He’s so socially awkward he doesn’t know how to talk with people instead of at them his entire pep talk to himself and subsequent introduction to the gaang when he tries to join them is peak “how do you do fellow kids” and his “that’s rough buddy” is as iconic as it is socially inept.

The guy totally hyper fixated on hunting the Avatar and when he could no longer find his purpose in it and realised he was wrong he did not cope

He has no tackt. none. and he takes things at face value and he hates lying his humour is also a little left leaning and he tries to relate to others and their experiences as a way of bonding.

While he’s not a prodigy fire bender like his sister he found ways around his limitations that helped accentuate his natural talents like his sword fighting (dancing would help with sword work) being incorporated into his bending (I don’t remember any other character bending with weapons).

He’d know a lot about tea from Iroh and I think he enjoyed working in the tea shop

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk!

I hope these make sense it’s kinda late now but this was fun to write thanks for reading my insane rambles :D

Also in response to the (non gendered) Prince! line you gave me so much surprise gender euphoria I cried 😭🫠🥹 sincerely thank you. I’m going with he/him pronouns atm but he/they is something I want to look into.

if you don’t mind me asking what are your pronouns?

I’ll probably send another ask in the next couple of days to annoy you with lol but in the meantime have a great day!

Sorry I took so long to get back to this, but damn I needed it today so I guess it's good I kept this in reserve. ❤

Holy shit, I can't unsee Zuko as autistic now. Like it's impossible. He's so perfectly coded to be on the spectrum. He's generally monotone, until he's not, and that's always when he's dealing with big emotions. He'd be a lip biter for sure.

Zuko doing dance as a stim 😍 the first time the Gaang sees him dancing when he thinks he's alone, they'd be so supportive, and have no idea what that would mean to him.

Fire lord Zuko infodumping about tea to some random person who tried to ask if he'd like them to make him some, as he heats the tea himself with his bending, and damn if that isn't the best tea that servant has ever had in their life.

Until next time my non gendered Prince Zuko! (Which will be in like, a few minutes, when I get to your other ask. Again sorry for the wait 😭 I'm bad at this)

[solstitios]

yoooo! i'm rocket (she/her) and this is my manic pixie boy... man... pyro? idiot? callum, who is absolutely named after calum hood from 5sos i have a few pages up for him at the moment but this post may be better served regarding initial interesting in plotting! i do prefer d*scord for plotting just an fyi; feel free to like this post and i'll send you a dm to connect! ♡

tw: mentions of domestic/physical/familial abuse, accidental death

yes he DID forget how to speak korean when he got to ansong. yes he spent a week literally not being able to understand/read anything around him (this would be a fun plot for anyone who has a muse who speaks eng!) and i don't know how he did it. but one day he woke up and he could just suddenly understand everything again so he's ok now

is from sydney but doesn't remember that now. there's a picture of the sydney opera house on one of his mementos

came from a household with a very strict father and mother with little backbone; as the older son he was always being pressured to be amazing by his dad and would get hit when he didn't meet his father's standards (and then really started acting out as a result, but we'll get to that)

SUPER IMPORTANT TO KNOW: callum has a sister who is 2 years younger named callie and they were super close and i would love if someone brought her to the rp hello 2nd muse idea for y'all !!!

so once his dad really started laying on the trauma lol, callum began his rebellious era — literally just saying fuck all to his grades at school, hanging out with shitty people, getting involved with things he really shouldn't have

got arrested at 17 the spring before his high school graduation, father knew people in the city to get them to let him off with a smack on the wrist but nearly got his ass beat

father banished him to go live with his uncle in korea for the next decade. had a really hard time adjusting at first because his korean sucked. did some odd jobs, tutored english, wanted to be a cop but he couldn't because he wasn't technically a citizen so he actually started training to willingly enlist in the korean military

this happening while he was visiting aus for his bday: he just turned 27 this august so right before his frontal cortex stopped growing he thought it would be a great idea to set off illegal fireworks while was rly drunk with his friends... yeah ok buddy. ends up, i shit you not, "dumb ways to die" accidentally k*lls himself AND HIS SISTER with the fireworks striking them both. i swear this was more tragic when i was first conceptualizing him but writing this out now it's so stupid fjkdhfjkgf

except now on the bright side, he's dead but gets to be a firefighter! oh the irony

persona

personality wise he's like a pretty cool dude. fun to chill with. really likes fires. is calm and cool and that friend that always knows the right thing to say except he's got a lot of demons in him that keep him in his head a lot but is so frustrated because he can't even figure out what the demons are. loves his job. super into fitness and staying in shape. makes lists for everything. slightly neurotic. really wants to get a dog. left-handed. may come across as hard to read at times. nolan fanboy. good taste in memes but bad tiktok taste. only dresses in black/gray/neutrals outside of his work uniform. surprisingly makes banger charcuterie boards

tl;dr

childhood traumatized man accidentally k*lls himself and his sister

potential plots

someone who goes to the same boxing gym as him and maybe they have beef about something pretty juvenile? LMAO

one of your kitchen appliances catches on fire and you're too scared/embarrassed to call 119 so instead you run down to the third floor and make callum handle it instead

someone to go with him to one of the events posted on the community bulletin!!!

for females: callum meets you for the first time and when he does he gets deja vu. he feels like he's met you before (it's all his subconscious trying to push out his memory of his sister callie)

for males: someone younger he treats like an older brother (again, his subconscious longing for his sister)

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Slouching Towards Bethlehem

Author: norahastuff

Artist: Logan

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester

Length: 27000

Warnings: undefined

Tags: Canon compliant (more or less) Takes place during season 4 and 5 Grace Healing Dreamwalking Late night conversations A whole lot of beach talk

Posting Date: October 6, 2023

Summary: It's the end of the world, and neither Dean nor Castiel is feeling particularly fine. But while the world is still spinning, they have to find a way to keep living in it. The Apocalypse may not seem like the best time to forge a bond, but if some small measure of happiness can be found amidst all the pain and uncertainty that surrounds them, that can only be a good thing. And maybe sometimes good things do happen.

Excerpt: Dean seemed remarkably at ease, the relaxed lines of his body oddly distracting sprawled across the chair. “You sound like you disagree.” Castiel shrugged. “Sam knows you better than I do.” “In some ways. Come on, Cas, let’s not pretend. You get me.” His tone was light, but Castiel knew he was serious. He was aware he connected with Dean on a level that he couldn’t quite make sense of. Yes, Dean understood him, but he understood Dean too. While he’d been hesitant before to contradict Sam on his brother’s deepest desires, Dean had asked. Castiel met his gaze. “That life… It’s what you think you should want.” “Yeah,” Dean said, leaning back in his seat and folding his hands behind his head. “That’s where I landed with that whole thing too. Sam’s not wrong, if things were different, Lisa and I… maybe we could make it work. But they’re not. Even if we save the world, I’ll still be me. And I mean, I don’t actually know her all that well, anyway. We might end up hating each other if we try to give it a go for real.” Dean shrugged. “White picket fences sound good in theory, but really, I don’t think I’m the Mr. Suburbia type. Hawaii and Springsteen, though? That sounds like my kinda thing.” “I thought you didn’t like to fly?”  Dean waved a hand dismissively. “I’ll take a bucket of Valium. Or we can charter a yacht. I’ve always wanted to go on a yacht.” “Well, my most recent experience on a boat wasn’t particularly enjoyable.” Since he was exiled from Heaven, he hadn’t known where he was going to wind up when he’d activated the banishing sigil he’d carved into his chest. A shrimping boat off the coast of Delacroix wouldn’t have been his first guess. “Big difference between fishing trawlers and luxury yachts, buddy. Come on, me, you... maybe Sam. He’s not much of a beach guy, but we’ll give it a shot. Might have to max out a few credit cards to make it work, but fuck it, right?” Dean’s eyes sparkled from something more than the alcohol. There was a vibrancy, something unquantifiable Castiel couldn’t put a name to. He was so emphatically alive, and Castiel didn’t care anymore whether they won or lost. Everything he had done had been worth it. Every additional second that Dean’s light burned in this godforsaken universe made it worth it.  Dean had balked when Castiel had compared him to Helen of Troy. Had claimed no one would ever go to war over him. Castiel had almost laughed at the absurdity. Helen may have summoned a nation to arms, but Dean could bring this universe to his knees if he tried. Castiel was suddenly glad he’d never had any real power to speak of. He wasn’t sure how far he’d go in service of protecting Dean, of preserving his happiness if he had the ability. He’d burn it all down if he had to.

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

[theywantedplayer]

Prompt List

Thought I just make a prompt list to start this page off so you can guys can get some ideas I will be adding more throughout this and you can always send requests. I love doing them.

“Are you really this happy 24/7?”“Are you really this grumpy 24/7?” “No, no, please don’t look sad. I can’t handle that.” “You’re definitely the only person I would do this for.” “ i love you the way you are, okay? you don’t need to change. ” “stay quiet” “first one to make noises loses” “you’re so fucking hot when you’re mad” “you have no idea how much i want you “i’m going to fuck your so hard you’re going to forget that guys name” “don’t fucking touch what is not yours” “come and sit on my face and i’ll show you how much i missed you” “would you like to go somewhere a little private” “i want you....here.... right now” “no panties?” "Don't yell at me in languages I don't understand!"  “Buy me cute underwear and I will let you see me wearing it." "If I buy you nothing, can I see you wearing that?"  “Please dont cry, im sorry” “Don’t tell me your fine your bleeding” “I wouldn’t do that to you” “everything about you amazes me” “I’ll never be good enough” “I love you know anybody else” “ you could punch me in the face, and I still want you not gonna lie” “Hey…..be safe” “ we’re in public!” “ you’re blushing” “am not” “ you’re not even listening” “stay” “ you can’t banish me this is my bedroom too!” “ you’re literally a man child” “ let me carry that” “ oh my God you’re taking up the whole bed” “ I’m hungry” “ I’m not moving” “ Hey calm down it’s OK” “ kiss me quick” “God, you’re freezing!”  “Here, take my jacket.” “get under the blankets, quick.”

“Come here, let me warm you up.” "I'm so cold."" my hands are freezing, just let me warm them on you for a second." "cuddle with me for a second. it'll heat the both of us up." "Please come to bed" “Are you wearing my hoodie?" "Did you really put a blanket over me while I was sleeping?" "so, how much longer do you plan on using me as your personal space heater?" “What are you doing here?” “Are you okay?” “I love you, you know that right?” “Did you miss me?” “Could you stay, please?” “You think that this is easy for me?” “Are we okay?” “It's okay, I got you” “I'm not leaving” “I've been in love with you for years!” “I don't hate you, not even a little bit” “Don't listen to them” “Because I know you” “I hope you know what you're doing” “You don't have to pretend you're fine:” “You deserved it”“I couldn't sleep” “I'm just so tired”"I never knew that about you. it's cute." " get behind me... " " Stay here. " " don't worry. everything's going to be alright... "  “please don’t cry”“Does it hurt?” “Oh stop pouting, I'm coming.” “Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.” “Can I get you anything?”   “'ll be back to check up on you later.”  "Open your mouth for me.”  “Please kiss me.” “Use your words.” “Tell me what you want.” “You can take it.” “I can take it.” “You take me so well.” “Spread your legs wider.” “Louder. Let me hear you.” “Keep your eyes on me.” “Touch yourself.” “Do you want my fingers?” “I can’t get enough of you.” "Wait, don't go, please.."  " oh, sweetie/buddy... What happened? Did someone say something to you? " " are... are these good tears? or bad tears? " " You never need to apologize to me. ever. and certainly not for crying... " " there you are! I was... hey... what's the matter? Have you been crying? " " you've got a little mascara stain... you wanna talk about it? " " Stop this. " “I can't pretend anymore” "It's alright, just breathe, okay?" “Can you look at me? Please?” “ I don't think I've ever seen you smile”

----

resting your head gently on their shoulder

smiling at each other from across the room

looking for them in a crowd

Kissing their forehead before going to sleep

Remembering their dink/food orders 

complimenting them at random times 

them gently tilting your chin

hiding face in necks

them gently tilting your chin

hiding face in neck

spooning at night

laying their hand on the other’s neck

pushing a strand of hair behind their ear

nudging the other one

putting an arm around the other’s waist

hugging each other

massaging them

falling asleep on the other’s shoulder

carrying the other one in their arms

whispering in their ear, lips touching the skin

stroking the other’s arm soothingly

kissing the top of their head

pulling the other one towards them

grabbing onto their arm

stroking their leg

leaning into the other’s side

sitting close and knees touching

gripping thigh

holding the other’s jaw

[spiced-koi-friend]

Face Card

Ruze won't let up with the teasing, and it's making it rather difficult to get anything done. Gabriel hopes he means well, because he can't help but feel paranoid about all of this still. But you being here makes it better, at least a little bit.

Previous Chapter

Assassin!Goldbullet x Politician!F!Reader, TW: none Words: 1738 | Rating: R | AO3

The rest of the day seems to go by without much of a hitch, although when he’s the threat that he’s supposed to be protecting you from, it’s more of a matter of self control than looking for sneaky assailants. The other guys are chill, although when he’s been placed as one of your personal bodyguards, it is a bit difficult to have much of a chance to talk with them. Ruze keeps elbowing him in the ribs and pushing him into you, Gabriel feeling real bad when he tumbled into you and you got a face full of titty. One minute you’re looking at the mayor’s tits through your sniper scope, the next you’re giving her an up close and personal view of your own. Some may say that’s a fair bargain, but Gabriel wanted to shove Ruze’s face into a brick wall for that.

He has no doubt that this is making it difficult for both of you to work when Ruze keeps pushing you together like dolls. But he’s gone through extensive anti-torture resilience training. Gabriel will not let something as simple as a bastard of a boss trying to get him alone with the mayor. Which, does Ruze work for Altare? Is he trying to give him an opportunity to take you out, and he’s just far too flustered to realize what he’s trying to do? Has he caught onto him and is trying to trap him in it so he can be taken out?

…

Ruze is rather proud of himself, crossing his arms as he grins and leans against the wall. Managed to get the two of you blushing and red once again. It’s turning into a bit of a game of how often he can fluster the two of you and make you personally as unproductive as possible.

“Hey! Back to work! This place won’t run itself, at least not with me nearly catching the two of you kissing all the time! Augh, making me third wheel is the worst. You guys are the worst.”

“Ruze, I sign your paycheques. Shut the actual fuck up.”

“How about this, I’ll go grab us some coffees, and the two of you will have to suffer the silence that comes with my lack of a presence. Remember to leave room for Elysium Jesus!”

Normally he’d not want to leave you alone with a new recruit, but there’s something about how Goldie has been acting that makes him rather protective of you. There’s just a certain way he holds himself, how even when Ruze gets close that he stands up a bit straighter. Normally he’d be one to put a bitch in their place for staring daggers at him, but the look of adoration he gives you when you’re the focus of his attention kind of gives it away. Ruze just figures that he’s your secret boyfriend and you just hadn’t told him yet. Until you confess, he’s just gonna continue to tease. 

He has absolutely no clue what Goldie likes in his coffee, but he’s been working for you long enough to know how to make yours while blinking and his hands tied behind his back. Not that he’s necessarily tried, but that’s not the point. Ruze does stop by Bettel’s desk, wanting a bit more dirt on Goldie to tease him about.

“Sup nerd.”

“Ruze, why do I sense you’ve been banished out here for causing problems?”

“Because you’ve been working here for basically the same amount of time that I’ve been. Little ol’ Betsy doesn’t want to look at this handsome mug?”

“You look better with your mask on.”

Ruze feigns offense, setting down the coffees to clutch his chest.

“My weakness! Being told I’m too pretty! Gotta keep my mask on to keep enough bitches for the rest of you.”

“It’d make my life easier, the last date I had was with the virtual assistant on my phone.”

“Bettel, buddy, you gotta get out. Go, I don’t know, lurk in a Taco Bell parking lot and just threaten someone with a knife until they go on a date with you. Or unleash bugs into their air vents when they say no.”

“That sounds like a good way to get arrested with a handful of felonies to boot. “

“Eh, I haven’t been arrested yet.”

Ruze cackles as he picks the coffees back up, incredibly amused by the look of horror on Bettel’s face. Never a dull day when there’s a clown in the lobby to entertain you. 

…

What did you do to deserve this treatment? Poor Gabriel keeps apologizing for Ruze pushing him into you at every chance he gets, even though you know damn well it’s Ruze. What is even worse, is that it’s not making your crush easier to get rid of, and that almost scares you as much as someone trying to kill you yesterday. Gabriel doesn’t even look at you once Ruze leaves the room, hiding beneath his hat and fiddling with his necklace.

“You know, I know that it’s Ruze. He has some, weird idea in his head thinking I like you or something weird like that. I mean- I do! I think you’re nice, and you seem passionate about your job. But he seems to think that there’s something more than that. Unfortunately I don’t have any better advice than just, endure him being a pill until he eventually gets bored of it. As soon as it stops being funny, he’ll just find something else. He’s probably just being a bit hard on you because you’re a closer assignment than the other boys. But you let me know if he’s picking on you, and I’ll give him an earful. Wouldn’t be the first time…”

“I’m okay, but I appreciate it. I’m a big boy, I can handle my own shit. If I couldn’t, well, I don’t think we’d be having this conversation, would we?”

“I suppose not. I just know he’s not everyone’s cup of tea, but he’s good at his job and he’s been keeping me safe for longer than I’ve been a mayor. Met back when I was still just campaigning, he volunteered himself for the position before I had even considered needing bodyguards. Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if Bettel chose so many of you because he wanted more people to talk to during the day. I’m just glad he enjoys talking that much because he’s very efficient on the phone.”

“I’m not everyone’s cup of tea either, although I don’t think anyone is. If you were perfect for everyone, you wouldn’t have Altare running against you, right?”

“That bastard. He just laid off a bunch of people from one of his companies to get more money to finance his campaign. And don’t get me started on his mutt of a head bodyguard. Might as well have gotten an actual dog, he literally barked at me at a debate.”

Gabriel laughs, brightening up a bit.

“I take it that Ruze didn’t take kindly to that?”

“Oh he just barked right back. He is not above barking at people either, he just prefers to use a weapon to scare people off instead.”

“Honestly, I bet that was more entertaining than the debate itself.”

“It was a little amusing having to hold them back, as no one else was really on stage. There technically was the venue security, but I don’t think any of them were brave enough to get in between Axel and Ruze when they were nearly at each other's throats.”

“So should I bring a dog leash or popcorn to the next debate.”

“No one collars the great Crimzon Ruze.”

You hold your face in your hands, actually enjoying being able to talk to Gabriel without Ruze’s supervision. He sets your coffee down in front of you, laughing when you flip him off in repayment. Gabriel smells the coffee, making a face.

“Not like I poisoned it, Goldie. Just drink the damn coffee.”

“You can never be sure! I had someone poison a muffin once, couldn’t eat them for like a year and a half after that. I guess unless I made them myself, but I'd rather make other foods. Pan de mallorca is a good one, that can go with like, anything.”

“Ooh! If you make any, I’d love to try some.”

You tried not to seem too enthusiastic, but the raised eyebrow from Ruze makes you realize perhaps your eagerness was a bit obvious. But Gabriel just smiles at you, and you get a glance at his canines, looking a bit sharper than you were expecting. Certainly not a downside though. 

“Yeah! I’d totally love to bring some in. I can’t promise any time soon, but I’ll save you at least one the next time I make a batch.”

“Already planning your next date without me? No bread for your best bud Ruze?”

“It’s just bread, Ruze.”

“Bullshit! I once ate two packages of hawaiian rolls that were accidentally delivered to my door and I regret nothing. It is never “just bread”, it is the essence of life.”

“Alright Ruze, I’ll bring you some too.”

“FUCK YEAH!”

The three of you can’t help but laugh at Ruze’s excitement, shaking your head at his behavior.

“Be glad Gabriel likes you, he’s been here for less than a day and you’ve been nothing but a pill to him!”

“So… do I need to try harder?”

…

Ruze hands Gabriel his business card, making him adjust his grip on his coffee to read it.

“Elysium’s greatest bodyguard and your least favorite professional. Ask me about my bugs.”

Gabriel takes a second to read it again, just to verify that yes, it does in fact say that.

“And you, hand these out to people?”

“If they piss me off enough. I usually don’t have enough time to do solo work anymore after I started working for the princess over here.”

“Oi! You volunteered to protect me!”

“Yeah, sorry buddy. She already spilled your tragic backstory.”

“Damnit!”

His cackle is nearly contagious, but it doesn’t help the conflict in Gabriel’s chest. He wanted to make a comment when you were trying to get him to feel better about Ruze’s teasing, but there was still part of him that wished you did like him, because maybe he could actually justify his own crush. Maybe Ruze isn’t setting him up, but it honestly won’t make any of this feel any less painful.

You just had to have that goddamn pretty face.

[transsexual-terabyte]

🖊 + PLEAAASDE LET ME LNOW ABOUT XAVIER 🫶🫶 ANS MAYBE ALSO THE OLD MAN WHO TAKES HIM IN

YAYYYY HII HIIIIII soooo xavier twirls hair um

so. xavier my buddy xavier......... even b4 he was banished 2 earth he was always really fascinated by the concept of humanity (though all he really knew about them was that they existed, they were mortal, and they were strictly prohibited from learning about) (rule in place because angels are considered holy to humans and so learning about something that considers you divine is considered 'dangerous') (but higher up and more powerful angels can contact and even pass through into earth via mirror shards in certain special cases) (xavier absolutely does not fit into this catergory) and in the end the drive to learn more about humanity is what drove him to seek out the mirror shards and be banished for it (initially he managed to steal four shards but he only managed to successfully conceal and hold on to one of them after being caught and falling) .

and because only a specific few higher up and holy angels were ever allowed to go near the mirror shards at all, no one had any idea that lesser angels could use shards to open communications between dimensions, which is how shard comes into the picture (shard managed to pull off stealing mirror shards years in the past but never got caught) (they're afraid of humans so they dont really know why they did it) (shard is not their actual name but it's what xavier calls them), coz suddenly the mirror shards they stole are displaying an image unprompted and its of xavier being banished and subsequently falling to earth and well he's not in great shape (angels arent able to feel pain, but they have to abide to the life rules of wherever they inhabit. mortality, pain, illness, etc, are all rules of earth that angels do not typically experience)

and anyway shard wakes him up and he freaks out for a bit because um. he just got banished from his fucking home !??? to an entirely different dimension ??? with no way of getting back ??!? but shard's reading the news of what just happened to xavier and it brings up that he was always too interested in humanity so they have a !!!! moment and bring up the fact that... well. you like humans right ? you always wanted to learn about them ? i know this is... horrible, but.. maybe you can learn about humans there ? since earth is. where theyre from. and well xavier doesnt really have anything else going for him so he grounds himself to the idea of. well if im trapped here i can learn all about humans and since i have a connection back home... maybe we can spread news about humanity ??? teach people ??? and shard absolutely does not want to do that but agrees that since they have a connection and its the Only One like this, xavier can teach them all about humans. (even if theyre slightly very terrified). and so tjats how they get started.

um but the whole there only being one exit and no entrance back home really Does mean theres One Exit so all angels fall in relatively the same area (which happens to be a graveyard) so one of the locals to the area takes it upon himself to help any freshly fallen angels back on their feet again and accustomed to the new environment. and while xaviers standing there trying to come to terms w everything they notice him and approach him and offer to help heal up that broken arm of his and grab him a warm meal and a place to sleep. and xavier agrees, so he comes to live with this old man and his dog for a while, learn all about humans firsthand, make a friend, learn how to live here. (shard is not a fan of this. theyre mildly terrified about the entire prospect but well. its xavier's banishment, it's his choice if he wants to live with some strange human and his dog). . jts technically dangerous for humans to have prolonged exposure to angels for a number of reasons but the old man has been doing this for decades now, and angels arent unheard of on earth anymore, so there are lots of things to keep them both safe.

most importantly in regards to the old man though is that he loves fishing and takes xavier along with him and xavier quickly developed a love for fish. hes fascinated by them. loves watching them swim. loves studying them. and eventually when xavier decides ro explore further and further out into the world, he gives him a fishing rod and some bait so that he can go out and do what he loves (and hes always welcome back to the house if he ever wants to)

ummmm...m thinking thinking but i thuink thats a lot alreadg. scrolling up. oops.

[kennyomegasweave]

Some random Only Friends thoughts about the characters and the relationships so far because this show is kicking my ass. I’m OBSESSED.

Boston. He's just so pathetic. He's been turned down THREE TIMES now for repeat dick and still he persists. Girl stand up. But I have so many questions for him. Why is he like this? Why does he have beef with Mew? Why does he clearly find Ray's massive unrequited crush on Mew funny from his own glass house? Why does he even want Top again so badly? He was turned down before the show, so it can’t just be because of Mew. Is it because Top was the one to top? Because in every sex scene he’s had so far he’s a shitty rough top, but we all know he’s gonna be bouncing on Top’s dick in that car next week. The only time I feel he was sincere was when he said he’s cool with hanging out with Nick outside of sex, but I can’t decide if it’s because he actually likes Nick’s company or if he just likes keeping around his toy that’s hella into him.

Boston continually having sex with Nick and calling him one of his favorites is such an asshole thing. It's giving Ritsu banging Masumi all over the apartment while saying I love you, then saying "oh we were never dating, if that's an issue, we don't have to do this anymore." Just an asshole move. Though at least he let Nick know they’re not dating, but it's not a good thing to keep fucking someone when you know they have feelings for you and you do not have them. Time will tell if Boston will regret his actions in regards to Nick or not.

Nick. Right now, he’s just a poor little meow meow, but I honestly don’t know what he was expecting. Boston is a notorious slut. He also hasn’t lied to him about where they stand. The closest he got to lying is saying Nick is one of his favorites, but I’m not sure that’s actually a lie. Nick is obviously one of Boston’s favorite toys right now because he keeps going back, but I don't think Nick understands that being Boston's current favorite doesn't mean much. Nick really screwed himself choosing anything when Boston gave him the option of fuck buddies or friends with benefits when he clearly doesn’t want either. I’m intrigued to see where living with Sand is gonna go.

Mew. Mew’s going to regret the game he’s playing with Top when he catches real feelings. I think Mew thinks he’s a master manipulator. He acknowledges Top may only be with him because he wants to bang a virgin and says he’s wondering how long he can make Top stay without giving it up, but if the confessionals are to be believed as true, he clearly thinks he’s changing Top. And, in his defense, he might be kinda? Top isn’t getting along with the majority of his friends but Ray’s not going to like anyone Mew dates because it’s not him and Boston really isn’t a friend, let’s be real. Cheum and Mew really seem to be the only friends there and Top and her are getting along swimmingly. I loved him asking Top when he was gonna go home after making him put his new table together and then banishing him to the couch. That’s right. Make him work for it. And, if Boston wasn’t the shittiest friend, Top might not have cheated on him so I can’t even say making him wait was a bad game to play. 

Top. I still can’t read this man. Outside of my pettiness at him wearing tucked in polo shirts and dress pants & shoes while he’s a 22 year old man in college, there’s really not anything to be mad at him for so far. The public ‘be my boyfriend’ was shitty, but Mew let him know that, checked him, and humbled him. I'm not going to say he cheated in that shower cause he really didn't look all that willing. He didn’t touch Boston back once, he literally rolled his eyes, and flat out told him no. I’ve seen a shower scene in another show get called sexual assault when the other dude gave more of a positive reaction than Top did. So it’s interesting how that’s not being discussed. Obviously he has sex with Boston next week, but as of now, he’s turned Boston down THREE TIMES and yet Boston won’t leave him alone. It’s sad. I don’t know for sure if his tragic backstory is true, but I can’t see why he’d lie. It didn’t even get him in Mew’s bed. Plus in the trailer we saw him taking hella pills while sad and sleeping pills can be used in attempts, so I mean…

Ray. He definitely has a drinking problem and his friends all know. He was drinking from a flask in the morning and all Mew did was say “a flask again?” Plus him saying it’s just a little bit to start the day. Oh baby boy no. He has a sad backstory with his dead mom and I feel for him. He stalked Sand all day because he’s clearly interested, but I don’t think he really even knows it yet because he’s still so hung up on Mew. He really said the heart and dick are two separate things and, while that’s such a fuckboy thing to say, it's true for him because right now his heart wants Mew and his dick wants Sand. At some point he’s going to have to reconcile with that and I already know it’s gonna hurt.

I don’t think it’s a good idea for an alcoholic and a dude making his own alcohol to be anything. It’s like how I spent 1.5 years drinking for the cheapest cost ever when I had a thing with a bartender (I did something like 20 shots and had 4 other drinks on my birthday and only spent $12 that night). It’s great in theory, and you can even have real feelings, but it’s terrible in practice. lol

Sand. Oh Sand. I really feel like he’s gonna catch feelings and he knows it, but I also think he knows Ray’s gonna be the one to make it an issue. I admire him getting cockblocked by Ray yet still getting laid that night. I don’t really know why he’s hanging out with Ray. I get the money aspect, but I don’t buy that being the only reason. He clearly sees something in this drunk spoiled ass, but I don’t get it yet. Sorry buddy. Maybe him and Nick can comfort each other when shit hits the fans and leave this whole friend group alone? lol

In conclusion, I'm loving this show. It's beautiful.

[bayleaf-2]

Drew some art of the progression of Lyra's feelings about Ioun

But it's like 11 PM and I should sleep so I'm gonna post the art and make barebones captions/context, go to bed, and might just remake the post if i wake up, look at it, and go "voci. voci...voci thats not enough buddy"

With that in mind!

This is when Ioun apologized to Lyra after they were resurrected (they died in the Zehir fight) and (in my mind) the start of Lyra having. A closer relationship with her, or seeing her as more than just. (Because we legally cannot call Ioun our boss) the person in charge, hense why it's labeled "beginning." Their thoughts in that moment are general feelings of appreciation, surprise, and relief. Debated putting warmth in there as well. Probably too soon. Maybe. Idk!

Transcript: Lyra's dialogue reads "Tough!" which is what they said to the goddess of prosperity trying to offer them deals. Description reads "Loyalty to Ioun after she apologized."

Ioun apologizing combined with Emily inviting Lyra to stay with her once all of this was over (AUUUUUUUGH) pulled Lyra out of their mortality crisis, hence the design change! They're wearing old (aka Elion's) earrings and actually put effort into styling their hair :)

Transcript of the bottom one: Nerd <3 "I love her" (Connotation: I just think Ioun's neat :) ) "I need to apologize to her if we fail"

Nerd refers to this being the time where Lyra starts researching and interacting with the library. "I just think she's neat" is a reference to that one Marge meme. Point being the "I love her" is a casual declaration with no deeper feelings attached. "I need to apologize to her if we fail" is referencing this:

Now a disclaimer on that: I wrote that months ago and while the og idea still holds in that I was planning on doing it, I would absolutely tweak the wording now. Also that's from my writing server so the wording is mostly for me. in terms of what "today" and "everyone else didnt follow orders" means I think that was the Tiamat fight? Timing indicates it's Tiamat. I do not know what "orders" past Voci is referencing. It might be the deals thing. ANYWAY!!

General summary for that point: Closer but still not quite friends. That being said Lyra's more cheery around Ioun and seeking out talking to her just cause.

Transcript: Lyra thinking to themself "God I love her she's so cool" Description reads "Whale convo, which is almost directly post Vecna" (So Lyra is thinking that as Ioun's talking to them) and then the bottom one starts with "After Ioun leaves and they're just thinking" Lyra's thought reads "...Oh." with the description "Means [I love her] in a different way than before"

Squish! :) Congrats lil guy! You love her and now you gotta hide your feelings so you don't pressure her because that'd be really fucked up of you! Yeah that includes your thoughts! Good luck suppressing those! (HE FAILS. HE SLIPS UP SO MUCH I'M DYING TO TAKE PROPER NOTES ABOUT THAT SHIT YOU HAVE NO IDEA)

"Voci why is the 4th heart in the scale grey instead of black in the top one" Uhhh I'm not sure. I think it has to do with Lyra not really knowing what their feelings are?? Like it's vague and then once they're actually reflecting on it, they realize it's something more than just thinking Ioun's neat. Btw it's not clear in this shitty photo but Lyra is blushing.

Transcript: Ioun saying "I do care, by the way." Lyra verbally keysmashing in response, which is cut off by the tiny tiny page. Description reads "right after the trial".

We had a trial where Emily was trying to make a case about the wording of the curse so we wouldn't have to kill her and only temporarily banish her (and Ioun. And possibly the Raven Queen. And anyone else who ascended) outside of reality. It was a really formal court though so everyone was in like. Proper boring formal wear and Lyra went the safe route of going in a suit yes I know that collar looks scribbly I was drawing in front of a campfire okay

I??? This is hard to describe, but by this point, Lyra's feelings are deeper, like they weren't...flustered by Ioun before, at least not to the same extent, and now they are, if that makes sense. I hesitate to say their feelings got? Deeper or more intense, because the timing makes this extremely fucky. And also feels like I'm in the danger zone in terms of possibly using aphobic wording. So I'm just gonna hold off for now.

And there's another art I drew of. The dream conversation where Ioun and Lyra ended up holding hands for an enTIRE FUCKING HOUR but it wasn't finished and I think? That moment kind of speaks for itself? So I'll just. Leave that there and sleep now gn <3

Again apologies if huge chunks of this don't make sense this is one of those moments where the hyperfixation is just Taking the God Damn Reins and I Have To Show People This