#WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO
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FUCK
BEEMER IMAGE FROM BRISBANE NIGHT TWO FIND POST HERE
#WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO#frank iero#mcr#my chemical romance#ray toro#gerard way#mikey way#mcr brisbane#mcr brisbane night 2#mcr australia
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cdpr really added an older man who constantly praises me kinda character and expected me to be normal about it💀
#cyberpunk 2077#mr hands#v#dude openly calls me his favorite#and always says how impressed he is#what the fuck am I supposed to do
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is there an actual medical reason why my body just doesn’t respond to medication and if there is please tell me it can be fixed bc this some bullshit
#ive tried easily over a dozen medications that just did absolutely nothing#and i mean no benefits no side effects even at increased dosages#all for different things like blood pressure heart rate salt increase contraception the works#then theres pain killers#talk about a waste of fucking time#ive tried at least 8 different pain killers that all have different bases and different things they fix#in the last five days ive tried four different meds#and theyve done absolutely nothing#one of which was a post surgery med my dad was prescribed and it literally just made me high for an hour and didnt touch my pain#how the hell does that happen#my ribs are so fucked#and its going into my stomach and hips bc of the way ive been holding myself to compensate for it#and i literally did nothing to trigger it#i know its muscle bc i used rapigel and it instantly went freezing cold#but i also had a long hot magnesium bath and used a topical muscle relaxer spray and none of it did shit#ive done heat ive done cold ive done sitting ive done laying down#im trying some endone we have left over tomorrow and if that does nothing then theres literally nothing else to do#theres nothing else#what the fuck am i supposed to do#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#spoonie#chronic pain#pots#postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome#fibromyalgia#ehlers danlos syndrome#chronic illness
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I don’t ask for much. I just want to be worshipped mind, body, and soul with a magnetism that’s tethered us from this lifetime to the next until the inevitable heat death of the universe.
#knee deep in the passenger seat#casual#so chill#i’m cool#what the fuck am i supposed to do#i’m a thousand years old#not made for the modern age
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weekend mornings during premier league offseason is just like. is life even worth living??
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Me when my head is pounding from crying over a conversation that kinda just reinforced all the shittiness I went through while also throwing me for a loop on whether or not I’m valid for feeling the way I feel, but I have to repress all of that bc ✨employed citizen✨
#do you know how shitty it is to be feigning some sense of energy while my parents’ words are rotating in my head#like my mom proved the point that she prioritizes her religion over any emotional damage she caused me#but then minutes later she comforted me and let me cry in her arms and asked softly if later (aka after work) I wanted to talk#and it’s just like…#what the fuck am I supposed to do#like to an extent she seems remorseful#but at the same time she doesn’t seem to understand the scope of the pain & refuses to acknowledge that she’s a big part in the pain#and my dad…#my dad is being an asshole & doesn’t understand ANYTHINg I fucking say but then he says shit and I start to doubt my own judgment#I need to leave but I don’t want to abandon my sisters in this hellhole#especially since rn they’re like the main target of aggression#I was originally gonna like reach out to ppl ik abt this but like then it became an hour or two passing (bc again—at work)#& I gave up on the idea of venting#idk#I’m tired#I need all my siblings to just escape#I need EVERYONE to be free from this shitshow#I wonder constantly how happier my parents would be without kids#vent#venting#rant
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Girlies, I am deeply saddened to report that a small bird has passed away on my balcony.
#it’s not very fresh#at least it doesn’t look that way#also its in the very corner of the rain-go-away-thing so i basically couldn’t see it when i refilled the food or watched the other birds#im surprised they kept coming#oh god please don’t be Nona#or Paul or Cam or Tiny or Smokey or Rocky or Red or Spotty or Wormy#fuck#what the fuck am I supposed to do#it‘s basically a little bundle of feathers in a not-reachable spot#but i cant just LEAVE it there can i#tw animal death#i cant tell for sure whether its a Blaumeise or a Kohlmeise but its definitely one of the two#i also dont know what happened#i just. Dunno
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me existing today after seeing the jk x calvin klein ad
#what the fuck am i supposed to do#act noRMAL??? just be COOL and CHILL and CALM?#simply that’s NOT POSSIBLE i want to D WORD#WTF#.txt
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there's really no help for feeling suicidal when you're not in immediate danger
#like i guess im just supposed to wait until i am in immediate danger??#and even those resources are just to keep you safe. not make you not want to die#what the fuck am i supposed to do#being suicidal but not being in immediate danger really sucks#at least if i was like going to hurt myself in a life threatening way i could potentially die#but no im stuck here all because i dont want my parents to be sad#doesn't seem fair. i didn't ask to be born#i don't know what to do#how long can i feel this way and imagine all these scenarios until i do something about it?#i got really close a few nights while i was still at school#but every method has its downsides#i wish i could just not care about the effects my suicide would have on other people#i really just need to go for it#it's extremely selfish of me to say this but once i'm dead i won't care#i wish i could kill myself tonight#i wake up every morning and have to do another day. sometimes it's not so bad but i still just want to be dead#even while im laughing or snuggling with my bunny or with friends i still want to be dead#i want to kill myself#i think if i had a plan even if i was never going to go through with it i would feel better#like something to fall back onto. or just knowing it was possible#guess it's time to keep working on the pros and cons list of different suicide methods🤡#someone please help me#people who deserve to live and want to live die all the time but i have to keep living. doesn't seem fair.#the world is a really fucked up place#sorry for not adding trigger warnings. went past 20 tags and im on mobile so i cant move them around#i dont think anyone reads these anyways.
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#girlblogging#study motivation#slayed#romaticizing school#what the fuck am i supposed to do#fuck school actually#it girl#tumblr girl#studyinspo#study blog#lana del rey#whaaat#random tagging what the fucccck#aesthetic
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Wait bro you fr fr?
Froslass havin a bby 😦
YEO AND I'M PANICKING SHE HATED EVEY MALE HUMAN SHE HAD EVER MET AND SHE RARERLY EVEN BECAME FRIENDS WITH MALE POKEMON THAN BOOM
BABY
#WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO#IM NOT READY TO BE A GRANDMA#I RAISED THAT POKEMON FROM THE EGG#MY BABYS GONNA HAVE A BABY#pokeblogging#pokemon irl#pokemon#pkmn irl#irl pkmn#pokémon irl#irl pokemon#pokemon in real life
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being so tired that caffeine wont do anything.
being so tired my eyes feel like they're gonna fall out.
being so tired i can feel my body falling asleep while im standing.
being so tired i grit my teeth to the point i feel they might crack.
being so tired im stuck in a daze and cant snap out of it.
being so tired and nothing can help.
#chronic fatigue#fatigue#exhaustion#tired#what the fuck am i supposed to do#im trying to work#im trying to be normal#but i cant catch up#2 steps forward 10 steps back#i hate this body
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We cuddled. We were watching a movie and he put his arm around me and kept me close. I don't know how to feel about this. He wouldn't even touch me when we're with friends if not to hug me goodbye, we're alone and he seems so comfortable, he keeps me close, takes my hand, caresses my cheek. I can't fucking understand what he feels for me.
#crush#love#vent post#i can't have him though#what the fuck am i supposed to do#i think this crush is giving me brain damage#i want him
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i'm at the "can't even play video games" level of sick oh noooo
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it’s so late and i can’t sleep
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Capitalism? Piracy? Hoco?
Here's more of a ranty post because I'm frustrated right now.
For my homecoming at high school, the theme was "Under the Sea". I figured dressing up as a pirate could easily be appropriate enough. I ordered a good-looking black shirt and red pants and am pretty disappointed with the results. I, of course, was not expecting stellar quality coming from Amazon when the prices were fifteen and twenty. I was excited to try them on the whole day but was taken aback when they arrived in the mail in one of those clear, slider zipper sort of bags.
When I tried them on, not only were they not a great size, but they were extremely wrinkly and the color of the pants was not quite as shown in the photo. I was pretty disappointed, but I'm still going to toss them in the washing machine to see if that will have any effect.
I'm more frustrated because I have no time to find anything else, and I'm not exactly a conventional dresser, meaning I cycle through my entire wardrobe and don't have anything saved for special occasions, which was the source of my excitement for the new outfit. I'm unsure what to do next because I was hoping to show up in something fresh and exciting, but I don't have any time to buy anything online. Do pirate-themed shops exist?!
The whole situation has really just made me jealous of Stede Bonnet's wardrobe from OFMD. My outfit was supposed to emulate the cursed red suit he finds in S2E5, but I didn't really succeed in that and just ended up looking stupid.
Who knew piracy would be so expensive?! Especially for a profession involving theft, and well, piracy. How do they expect me to ravage and pillage if I can't look good? It makes me really reflect, this first came up when I was watching Rio Bravo, how do cowboys and really any sort of historical figure afford all the nice clothing they wear? I mean think about the amount of leather both of them wear.
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