#WE'RE SORRY WE'RE LIKE THIS

[mvrnic]

*please be aware serious topics are talked about so tw for; miscarriage, substance abuse, relapse, mental health. please look after yourselves.

DISCLAIMER/PSA/IDK; THIS ALL TECHNICALLY HAPPENS AFTER CHRISTMAS BUT DANI IS ON A WEEK HIATUS BEFORE THE CHANCE/MIA WEDDING AND ITS THAT WEIRD PERIOD WHERE EVERYONES A LITTLE BUSY SO I PRESENT TO YOU

THE TEGAN AND DANI FUCKS SHIT UP AGAIN SHOW.  okay so previously on  “some fuckery we pulled” marnie and angel lost their second child in a miscarriage, first trimester so it was pretty early but a horrible experience for them both. obviously. in the events of this marnie stopped taking her BPD medication and went down into a really bad mental health period and angel has relapsed into his alcoholism and substance abuse. (please be aware the breakup is intense but they will get back together bc mum and dad) so after angel gets into some car crash and totals his car marnie has to come and pick him up from the police station, the following is a recount of their breakup that we wrote last night bc we’re headasses. 

guilty. that was definitely a good way to sum up how he was feeling right now, nervously pacing around the holding cell of the station, absentmindedly fumbling with the rings on his fingers. drunk was another way to describe him too, but he was doing his best to mask that fact. it wasn’t too hard to tell though. his eyes were bloodshot and he already looked like a broken shell of himself. he let out a sigh of... relief? but also panic? as marnie walked in. he avoided eye contact until it seemed nearly impossible, a tired, half-assed smile upturning the corners of his lips. “hey.” he didn’t really feel like explaining himself, but he knew he wasn’t going to have much of a choice. not when it came to marnie. marnie didn't let shit slide, that's why she was good for angel, she called him out but she stayed by his side to help work on things. she wanted him to grow, she knew life was hard and healing wasn't easy  --he did the same to her. they helped each other.  it was a last minute rush to mia and chances house asking to mind xander just for an hour or two, she knew she could count on them for these last minute things especially at such a stupid hour but there wasn't a chance in hell she was bringing xander to the fucking police station this late at night to see his father in a state. she walked in with exhausted looking eyes, licking over her lips as she looked at him looking like a caged puppy who had done something wrong.   "hi," she responded in a near whisper looking to the cop as they unlocked the cell.  there was something sickening about seeing him behind bars,  "...okay...well...lets get you home i guess." angel hates being this person. especially in front of her. he couldn’t even imagine being anything like this in front of xander. in fact, the thought made him sick to his stomach. he’d done such a good job at separating his current self from the person he used to be in the past, but now, having to be led out of a jail cell, it felt an awful lot like stagnancy. he’d never really changed, had he? his head hangs low as he exits the cell, and he keeps his hands shoved in his pockets, not making a move to grab her hand or her waist. he didn’t want to touch her— to hurt her. because that’s all he ever did to people. it was almost laughable at this point. he’d been doing so well, and he’d went and fucked it all up in the blink of an eye. “im sorry.” he muttered under his breath. he was on such a good road, he had been doing so well and she had been so proud but the second something in their personal bubble seemed a little hard he freaked out. but that was what a relationship had to deal with, there would be hardships and he couldn't do this every single time, it wasn't about him getting 'fixed' it was about him healing and they were two very different things but until angel realised he didn't need 'fixing' he needed HEALING there wasn't going to be a change.  but weirdly enough the blank i'm sorry and lack of effort to physically or emotionally reach out to her was what got her.   "i know." every time something went wrong, he snapped right in two, and marnie had to be there to pick up the pieces and stick him back together. he’d voiced his concern before about her being a crutch for the rest of her life, and although she insisted that that wasn’t the case, it sure felt like it was. god, he felt so stupid right now. she deserved so much more than him— so much more than he could give her. she was way more mature than him most of the time. he couldn’t fathom why she insisted on staying with him. maybe he’d just played her right... played her like every other person he’d let into his life. he’d went and sucked the soul right out of her because he didn’t have one for himself. just the thought disgusted him. he didn’t want to be a shit person— not to her— but he didn’t know how to fix this. he brought a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, reaching to hold open the door for her, and gesturing for her to exit. he couldn’t even think of anything to say. he didn’t want to talk to her. he didn’t want to be around her. not like this. her eyes were glued to his hand as he opened the door, she was going to be there for him that wasn't even a question in her head, when she said yes to his proposal she has said yes to a lifetime with him. she'd said yes to the ups and the downs and weathering out the storm together. but she had just lost their baby not long before and she was going through it herself, this time she didn't have the strength or the energy. this time she needed him and he wasn't being her crutch. the silence between them was awkward, which was a bad sign because their silences were almost never awkward.  over the past week the mood of their house had dropped, which she had expected considering losing a child when you wanted them on this earth more than anything was the hardest thing to go through. what she didn't expect was losing angel too.   "how much have you had to drink?" she knew, it would've been stupid for angel to think marnie didn't know him like the back of her hand at this point. his features twitched in annoyance at her questioning, and he stayed silent for a moment, waiting for her to step out of the building so he could follow suit. “i don’t want to talk about it.” he finally retorted, his words a bit snappish in tone. if marnie knew him, she’d know he was bound to get hot headed right about now. it almost never failed. he just felt an overwhelming need to defend himself against... well, he didn’t really know what. he just felt the need to argue and make stabbing remarks at the first person he saw. hating on other people was better than hating himself. “—- let’s just get in the car and go back to the house, yea?” he’s growing impatient, as evidenced by the way he’s toying with the chain around his neck. he couldn’t even call it home at this point. that’s not what it felt like. all it did was make him feel anxious and small. wrong time to snap angel, that'd be the only advice anyone could give him. she was tired, she had to beg a friend to mind THEIR child while she picked up her grown ass  FIANCE from the police station, after going through what may have been one of the worst moments in her life.   "you don't wanna talk about it, okay," she scoffed turning on her heels.   "no we're not getting in to the car, answer my fucking question, how fucking drunk are you angelos?" her brooklyn accent always got thicker when she was angry, livid might be a better word.  "you're not going anywhere near xander when you're like this." he was an asshole. he knew it; now he just had to accept it. maybe it’d be better to be just that. it was his most authentic self. it was who he always jumped back into being the moment something got the slightest bit tough. that’s who he was. an asshole. a scoff escapes him as she uses his full name, his eyes involuntary rolling along with his words, “who the fuck cares?” he hisses out, “can’t stop me now. get the fuck over it.” maybe it would’ve been different had he actually reacted to his own words slipping past his lips— had their been any hesitance... but there was nothing. every last syllable escaped him easily, and his expression remained stoic. “i don’t want to be around him.” not like this, “—- fuck this. im calling a cab. whatever. see if i care!” she didn't believe it at all, she knew who angel was when he was comfortable and content what he needed to work on was his coping mechanisms. hurting people wasn't how you cope.  but marnie grew up on the wrong side of town, you just didn't fuck with her and her fire was as lit now as it was when she was younger. this was dangerous.  "roll your eyes at me one more time i'll slap your fucking face," she threatened before her nails started to dig into her palms, a habit angel had to know too well, he had mended the bleeding and pierced palms before.   "i fucking care you absolute moron," she hissed in return .  god she was angry, she didn't have the chance to even be hurt by his words because every ounce of pain she had been feeling over the last week was being lashed out on angel.   this bitter, disgusting laugh coming from her lips at his words.  "you don't wanna be around your son," she said slowly, but her words were full of venom.   she was vicious at this point, you could see her seething.  "you call a fucking cab and you don't take it to the house." angel had grown up having everything he could ever possibly want handed to him on a silver platter. that didn’t mean he didn’t know how to be cruel though. it made him an expert. you didn’t make it in high society if you couldn’t fight back. searing comments were all he’d ever known. he’d only ever received backhanded compliments from his parents. lashing out like this felt mundane. he met her gaze, holding it for a moment to make sure that she was paying attention to him before he gave another roll of his eyes. she could slap him. it wouldn’t be the worst thing he’s felt today. he already had a huge bruise on his cheekbone from smacking his head against the window as his car crashed. he almost has to laugh at her demand, a cocky, shit-eating grin taking over his features as he looked down at her, taking full advantage of his tall stature to loom over her menacingly. “i’ll do whatever the fuck i want to.” he begins, “that’s my house. i bought it. and your fucking lambo? that’s my car. you...” he begins, gesturing towards her. “... you don’t get to tell me anything.” and that was the first time he’d ever alluded to being above her in any way. he’d never wanted to dehumanize her before, but he was just shooting for the lowest possible blows now. she wasn't sneaky, marnie had never been conniving or backstabbing, she was just straight up and straight forward to your face. if it came across rude, that's your problem. but marnie wasn't nice, that was just fact. but angel knew she kept her word, she wasn't empty that was one thing that was both good and bad. and almost as if on queue at his eye roll she brought her hand back and swung it right across his face. she was tiny but boy did the girl have a strong hand.  he was scary, he was tall and broad but marnie had dealt with worse men.  "okay take the fucking house, take the fucking car...your money and your purchases don't mean shit to me angel," she retorted.   now she was starting to feel hurt, he was acting in a way he'd never done before and suddenly she hated who was in front of her. this wasn't angel, this wasn't the man she was going to marry and she refused to believe it. a low hiss of pain escaped through gritted teeth as her hand made contact with his skin. he brings his own hand up to his cheek, unable to stop himself from wincing as his fingertips met the tender spot on his face. he was still human, after all. no matter how much of a god complex he could have. he was human. and he hated it. he hated being vulnerable like that. his arm falls back down to his side, and his hands are balling into fists as he stares her down. “take your fucking kid and all your shit and get the fuck out of my house then.” almost as soon as the words left his lips, he regretted them, but he wasn’t letting that on. his glare remained icy. “ask me if i fucking care.” he pauses, shaking his head slightly. “—- i don’t.” she flinched at those words 'your fucking kid' and her gaze upon him lost any and all love in that split moment. he was her soulmate, she was still sure of it, but those words made her cold and suddenly she was the marnie she was to absolutely every man that had ever hurt.  and she simply stared at him, there was literal disgust in her eyes.   she dangled the keys and dropped them at his feet,  "there's the keys to your fucking kid" she said harshly,  "drive yourself home...maybe you'll crash again and finally feel something in that cold fucking heart of yours." that hurt. he couldn’t deny it. all he’d ever wanted was to be a good father, but he couldn’t do this when he was so susceptible to breaking like this. to his drunk mind, the logic made sense: leave marnie, leave xander, hurt her so she’d never come back... it would just be less pain in the long road. and he’d get to happily waste his life away on drugs and parties and hookups and not have to worry about hurting anyone. that would just be his brand. “fuck you.” he shot back, bending down to pick up the keys from the floor, squeezing them in his hand with an iron grip. “you’re so fucking stupid.” he growls, pointing a finger at her. “im drunk, and im still smarter than you. good fucking luck taking care of your kid.” he lets out a bitter laugh, refusing to call xander by his name or even refer to him as his son. that would hurt him too much. he’s not trying to be hurt. now she was deathly scared, she didn't know how to be a mother by herself. she didn't know how to do this when every time she looked down at xander she was looking at angel. if he thought pushing her out of his life was good for her he was fucked in the head because now she had a constant reminder of everything he tore away from her. a partner, a best friend, a father to their child....home.  "i'm stupid?" she retorted, that might have been his lowest blow yet, that was something she was so desperately insecure about and really angel was one of the only ones that had ever made her feel a little more comfortable about it.  but crying wasn't something she could do right now, he didn't deserve her tears.  "you're the one who pushes the good things out of his life only to blame everyone else for leaving," she said stepping into him,  "you're the one that isn't smart enough to stay sober," if he wanted low blows, marnie could throw low blows.  "you're the one thats losing something here...i'm the best fucking thing that has happened to you," she gets closer,  "i'm the best fucking thing you'll ever have....and you're dumb enough to lose me," if he knew her, which he did, the look in her eyes wasn't hatred it was pain. it was the angry pain she held when she knew she was going to cry because hated crying.  "and i'm smart enough to walk away." his eyes lacked any and all emotion; his features were hard as stone. the worst part was that he couldn’t even deny it. she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. she was the best thing that ever would happen to him. he knew, looking down at her now, that he would never find anyone that could replace her. never. but he couldn’t be with her. because she was right. he wasn’t smart enough to stay sober, and he couldn’t risk being this version of himself around xander or around her anymore. “—- then go.” he states firmly, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder to push her away from him. he still couldn’t touch her with anything less than softness, though his eyes read something completely different. “we are fucking done.” she hated how he was standing there lacking anything and yet she still couldn't hate him.  she was sure she'd never be able to hate him, she could act cold, fuck, she could feel cold towards him in that moment but unlike everyone else that has come and gone she couldn't hate him. he was, would always be, her person.  it might have been gentle but it was the meaning behind it. her own touch to smack his hand away harsh.  "don't fucking touch me, you piece of shit," she hissed.  "you don't get to ever fucking touch me."  but fuck he had a hold on her.  "yeah, we are, and i hope when you wake up in the morning you realise what the fuck you've done," she said backing away from him but then as it hit her she couldn't control the single tear that escaped. marnie instantly wiping it away, pulling out her phone to order an uber. oh and there he was with xander as her screen background, she closed her eyes and stood still for a moment.  but she wasn't going to talk him through this time, beg him to see her side, she just ran her fingers through her hair and actually walked away down the street. @ofangelos