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oh-koenig-my-koenig · 1 year ago

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(to the tune of Avril Lavigne's sk8terboi)

He was a human battering ram.

She was a recon sniper.

Can I make it any more obvious?

Headcannons - Fit for a King - König x fem!OC fanfic

Instead of making a y/n fic, I decided to create an original female character because I ususally write all of my stuff in POVs. Due to posting the chapters often right after I've written them some of the context and the characterization might not be explicit in every single piece, some of the information is only gonna get revealed down the road.

(TW: alcoholism, death, violence)

Karina Müller is almost 30 years old, she served in the Norwegian military from right after school until the death of her brother who was KIA on a mission together. She fell off the wagon after that, feeling responsible for his death and effectively being shunned by her family after that. Her pick of poison was alcohol and it got so bad that she more than once was drunk on the job which led to her getting kicked out.

The years after that she spent getting help, trying to get clean and going back to a civilian life, but the military was what she knew, so the civilian jobs didn't stick and she started to work as a mercenary, now a dry alcoholic. Which might be an issue for some contractors, but KorTac doesn't really bat an eye.

She's a compassionate person who loves to laugh, she's seen enough shit not to take any from her teammates and can stand her ground when faced with any challenge thrown her way. She's still working through some stuff, coming to terms with her past, but she has an optimistic spirit and a strong will.

Even though the Colonel seems scary at first, she learns pretty quickly that he is to be respected in training and on the battlefield, but on a personal level he's really not that bad. The 6'10'' killing machine, Austrian war criminal (insert "what murdeeer?!"-meme here) is quite an anxious person when it comes to basic human interaction.

Shouting orders at his team, stomping his enemies into the ground is more comfortable to him than just talking about mundane stuff with other people, he mostly keeps to himself (except for Horangi because that little shit would never leave him alone). And for the first time in a long time, Müller makes him wish that he could just go up to people and strike up a normal conversation like a normal person (don't we all).

König is 38 years old (we don't know his full name) and has the biggest metalhead dad vibes without actually having any children himself (his favourite band is Death, although he listens to a bunch of different ones, it's also their merch shirt Müller steals in "Are you wearing my t-shirt?").

When he started out in the military, he shaved his long metalhead hair off because that was the way to go back then, but he let it grow back when he was older and already Colonel. He has gauged ears and a plethora of tattoos all over his body because the soft pain of body modifications and working out until he almost passes out are his ways of dealing with his anxiety and stress. His body is a testament to that.

He has a huge scar on the right side of his face from when he got beaten to a pulp by his bullies at school, something he never let happen again after that (five on one was really unfair). His nose has been broken two times and sometimes his tattoos get destroyed by battle injuries, but he doesn't really care about that - or his looks in general. He's a soldier and not a model.

So the reason why he's always wearing the selfmade hood is not the scar. He prefers not to show his feelings to others, staying hidden underneath the mask for his own comfort, even if it makes him scarier also in situations where he doesn't want to be.

(CW: some nsfw headcannons ahead, talk about not wanting to have children) They're both switches, though König is leaning more on the Dom-side while Müller is a sub who likes to brat a little too much, just to see her man falter (for example when she calls him a good boy in random scene #1).

Müller is bisexual, something she discovered when serving in an all-women-taskforce of the Norwegian military (we don't really know about König's sexuality though). She decided a long time ago that she doesn't want to have children (she doesn't see herself leaving service again anytime soon and given her past, she doesn't see herself fit to become a mother), so she got her tubes tied. Which also comes in handy when a certain Colonel's favourite pasttime (well, actually second favourite) is leaving creampies inside her (no 'unexpected pregnancy' trope in this household).

König definitely eats pussy for his own pleasure, begging Müller to let him eat her out in "Sit" or losing a little friendly competition for a sexual favour in "But no funny business" (oh and he definitely steals her panties at any chance he gets). She's totally not opposed to servicing him as well, but the size of his dick makes this a whole endeavour (like seen in "Open wide, Prinzessin").

They match each other's energy pretty well, just going at it like rabbits at every chance they get, which sometimes proves to be difficult as they're sneaking around in secret.

Their arrangement is kind of a fuckbuddy/fwb-situation, they fuck hard and rough, without ever really kissing (the mask stays on), but after a while feelings start to get in the way... After all they do belong together <3

Read more at the Fit for a King - Masterlist or keep an eye out for the AO3 link - coming soon.

#könig #könig cod #könig mw2 #konig #konig cod #konig mw2 #könig x fmc #könig fanfiction #cod mw2 smut #könig smut #konig smut #cod smut #female oc

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weebsinstash · 8 months ago

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I was cleaning my room and I developed a hyper specific thirst for "your red string of fate soulmate uses The String to basically track you down and invite themselves into your apartment and start going through all your things"

I've just, been having my mind run amok with different ideas for Hazbin characters 💀 Vox wants to go through all your tech and your video games, Velvette and Valentino poke through your closet and your skincare, Alastor... he's just fucking judgy about almost everything lmao

They go to open a specific drawer without asking and you're all but BLOCKING THAT SHIT WITH YOUR BODY because Oh My God They Absolutelt Cannot Find Out That That's Your Sex Toy Drawer. And they find out anyways. Just. mortifying. That's too personal man I would die 💀 like I'm sorry can you imagine something just real uh large rolls out and like you've got VALENTINO just looming at you like "giiiiiiiiiiiiiirl---" cause like. Ok guess that solves the question of if you can fit him djggnjffkffjfjf

But it could also be cute! They see so many things around your room that they do enjoy!! Alastor sees that despite being modern, you listen to music that's from all genres including big bands and old jazz and, even your tastes in more modern music tend to be things similar from your childhood. Vox sees that you have like, figurines and anime merch and games he plays too! Velvette sees that you might dress in a way she considers uh ugly maybe just because you're broke as fuck and have been paying for all of your bills but maybe just maybe you like to draw and she can't help but notice the clothing in your drawings are nice and stylish. Valentino.... I dunno man he's kind of a jerk but I think he'd think it's cute when you get happy and excitedly show him things and maybe he even, idk,the yandereness turns him into a semi decent person and he's actually listening to everything you say even if he doesn't understand it because you're just so cute

Also regarding these guys going through your room I feel like it depends on what kind of story you're going for but if they're not being bullying and sadistic they're probably being nosey and infantilizing so like. You would think it would be horrible for Valentino to find your sex toys or lingerie right? Right! But he'll also notice a LACK of those things so there's no winning!!!! He'll tease you for keeping a vibrator wand in your bedside table and if he DOESNT find any fake dicks he'll tease you about being pent up and ask if "Daddy needs to take you to his favorite toy shop" or something 💀💀💀💀

I'm just saying like. Any which way, it's a scenario for a yandere to come into your life and react with either "oh cool, look how much we have in common! This is just further proof we belong together :)" OR "oh wow, you're not what I expected at all, but I love you so don't worry, I promise I'm not gonna abandon you and I'll just put in the work to change you until you better suit my own personal tastes but trust me you being a brat and resisting is also extremely adorable and I love that too :)"

#i havent posted shiiiiit but ivw been having alastor ideas out the ass #yandere hazbin hotel #yandere hellaverse #yandere x reader #hh #sinprompts

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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AITA for arguing with my mom over toys?

I (15) have ADHD and autism and my mom (65) knows but doesn't really believe it. So right now, my hyper fixation is spiderman and barbie. I'm like obsessed and I love looking out for cool toys or merch of them. I rarely ever ask if I can buy them- I don't have a job yet so I have to ask my parents, but when I do it's usually a no. Wich I'm not usually too upset about, I get it. I'm a bit bitter about it, given that when my brothers (18 and 19) ever ask for something my parents will get them it with no questions asked. Besides the point.

A while back, we where in target and I was looking in the toy isle and there are these spiderman figurines and they have ones of spot, Gwen, Peter and Miles. I was obsessed the moment I saw them and asked my mom if I could get Gwen cause she's my absolute favorite. And she said no because she already has all of them at home. She hadn't told me this before but i was excited cause she showed me photos and she had all four of the dolls along with the new Margo Robbie and Ryan gosling barbie and ken dolls. The entire time she was making it out like she had gotten them for me, and I was super excited.

When we got home I waited for a bit, kinda thinking she'd bring them out and show me, but she never did so I eventually just asked "hey! Can I see the Spider-Man dolls?" And she said "no I've already put them away." Turns out she has all of them but she had no intention of ever giving me them and they're all in a bag in her closet. And so I was upset and went down to my room and ended up having a good cry cus this isn't the first time she's done something like this.

Skip forward to today, we where at Walmart and I see the Spider-Man dolls and ask if I could get one and she said "no you already have them." So I said "no, you have them. You keep them in the closet, those aren't mine." She argued back saying that they would be worthless if we took them out. (She has no intention to sell them.) But it went like that and she ended up saying fine and letting me get Gwen. She also let me get one of those 5 dollar Barbies and a Tin of popcorn that was spiderverse themed cus again, hyper fixation.

When we where leaving the restraunt, she made a snide comment telling me she spends so much on me and how I'm so ungrateful. I always say thank you and I always ask before putting things in the cart and I take good care of the dolls I have.

Later today I heard her complaining to my dad (69 haha) about it and calling me a spoiled brat and now I'm worried that I'm just being a bad person and wondering if I'm actually an asshole.

Sorry if this was all over the place, I go off on tangents alot.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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whoisneo404 · 7 months ago

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Can I get a fic where male reader has had an attitude all day and Nick decided to fuck it out of him and overstimulate him. (So there is like a lot of teasing and maybe he gets like tied to the bed?)

All I Need.

Summary: after telling you all day to behave, Nick grows tired of you attitude and decides to fuck it out of you.

Tw: NSFW, cursing, a few spanks, Nick calls reader slut a few times.

Note: I tried to keep the readers body as vague as possible so everyone can enjoy this :3 also, i wrote this with that outfit on mind.

There was no reason for me to be grumpy, I just woke up this way, sadly for everyone else today was a busy day.

‘’What do you want to eat?’’ Nick looks down at his phone scrolling throw the ordering app.

‘’I don’t know, whatever.’’ He slightly raises his eyes to look at me, his brows a bit frowned.

‘’I’m asking you, what do you want to eat?’’ he asks again and I let out a huff.

‘’Whatever.’’ I roll my eyes at him and cross my arms.

‘’Don’t talk to me like that… I’ll order and if you don’t like I don’t wanna hear you whinnying about it, got it?’’ he looks back at his phone ordering our breakfast.

When the food arrived, I don’t want to eat it. I just stare at it while Nick eats from his sandwich.

‘’Why won’t you eat?’’ he finally asks after a while, I just shrug my shoulders and he lets out a sigh.

‘’Don’t want to.’’

‘’You could have told me that.’’

‘’Whatever.’’

‘’Don’t whatever me. What happened today? Why are you so moody?’’ he’s frowning, the muscles of his face tensing and I don’t know why, but it makes me feel grumpier.

‘’I don’t know, leave me alone.’’

His jaw tenses and then he speaks softly. ‘’Okay.’’

---

It was a long day, photoshoot after breakfast, lunch with friends, afternoon meeting to discuss the next merch drop, and at night dinner with friends again. Normally this wouldn’t have bothered me, but today I just can’t seem to be able to take it.

‘’Boy, what’s wrong with you?’’ Tara who is sitting besides me asks.

‘’I don’t know. I woke up with the worst mood ever, I am so grumpy for no reason.’’ I grumble to her.

‘’I get it, it sometimes happens to me too. Wanna tell me about it?’’ I do, I talk to her about how I feel and I start to lighten up, feeling like the burden of the day is leaving my body. We start to laugh and joke about our grumpy moods. From time to time I feel Nicks intense stare from across the table, but I decide to brush it off.

‘’Give me a second, I’ll go to the bathroom.’’ I stand up and walk to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror and move my hair a bit, I hear the door opening and I see Nicks reflection on the mirror.

‘’So, you are not grumpy anymore?’’ I look at him on the mirror, his arms are crossed over his chest and he looks mad.

‘’Maybe, I don’t know.’’

‘’Oh, I think you aren’t because you were laughing a lot with Tara out there.’’ I turn around and also cross my arms, my chin high and a grin on my face.

‘’Yeah, she’s really funny.’’

‘’Is that so?’’ he raises on eyebrow, slowly walking towards me. ‘’Does she make you laugh more than me?’’

‘’Not really, but she knows how to handle me when I’m grumpy.’’ Both of his hands are on my hips, his gaze piercing throw my soul.

‘’And I can’t? are you saying I can’t handle you?’’ Nicks voice is low, his grip on my hips tightening and I gulp nervously.

‘’Maybe if you feel that way it’s because it’s true…’’ I smile playfully and he growls.

‘’You were being a brat all day, you are so fucking spoiled you think you can get away with everything. Don’t make me get angrier because you won’t like how I am planning to make you behave.’’ My cheeks turn red, he knows just how to handle me, he knows exactly what to do and say to make me melt on his hands. But I want more, I want to see how far a can push.

‘’You hallow threats don’t scare me.’’ I walk away from his grip and to the bathroom door. ‘’Also, I think you look hot when you try to be dominant.’’ I wink at him and walk out of the bathroom; I hear a faint mumbling inside of it and I giggle as I make my way to the table.

---

‘’Want me to drop you off?’’ Matt talks softly to me when we everybody is standing outside the restaurant, saying goodbyes, seeing of they will go to their homes.

‘’I already ordered an uber for us.’’ Nick says standing besides me, his hand on my waist, pressing me against him.

‘’You staying the night there?’’ Matt asks again and Nick hums. ‘’Okay, see you then. Bye.’’ Then he walks besides Chris who was saying goodbye to everybody.

When the car arrives Nick and I sit in silent, both of his hands on his knees, he seems grumpy. I might have flirted a bit with Jake to see how he reacts, but I don’t think he is too mad… is he?

When we arrive at my apartment, I thank the driver and we walk in silence to my place. I feel his gaze on my back as I unlock the door slowly, regretting a bit my actions.

‘’I-… Nick.’’

‘’Shut up.’’ He pushes the door open and shoves me inside too. He closes the door behind him, takes of his jacket and hangs it on the coat hanger. ‘’Go to your room, take off your clothes, leave your boxers. I want you on your knees on the floor when I arrive. If you are not doing it, I swear…’’ he takes a deep breath, he is not looking at me, he is massaging his forehead with one hand, my legs shake as I nod even when he can’t see me. ‘’Go, 10, 9…’’ I sprint to my room, undoing my pants and taking of my shirt on the way there. I slam the door open and throw my shirt somewhere, quickly shoving my shoes out and then taking off my pants, I try to steady my breath as I kneel on the floor in front of my bed.

I hear the faint steps and counting getting louder and louder. ‘’1 and 0.’’ Nick enters the room, his tie undone and his shirt undone a few buttons. ‘’Oh, so you can be obedient.’’ He sits at the edge of the bed in front of me, my cheeks turn red and I nod slightly. ‘’You made me really mad today, being a brat all day, you think that I was going to let it slide?’’ I shake my head. ‘’And then it seems like nothing happened, like you weren’t a fucking whinny bitch all day, you go and laugh your ass off with Tara, and then you fucking flirt with Jake, in front of me.’’ I gulp and look down at his boots. ‘’Maybe I have been too nice with you lately and you have forgotten who you belong to.’’ I shake my head. ‘’Words, slut.’’ His hand grips my jaw, forcing my head up, meeting his eyes that seemed darker than usual.

‘’N-no. I’m yours.’’

‘’Well, you aren’t acting like it. I’ll have to fuck you into my good boy again, don’t I?’’ I nod the best I can with his iron grip on me. ‘’That’s it.’’ His hand leaves my jaw, it goes to his pants to undo them and lower them enough so he can take his dick out. ‘’Come closer, crawl.’’ He pats his thigh, and I crawl closer to him, his hand gripping the base of his cock, pumping it a few times. ‘’Go on, suck it.’’ His hand leaves his dick and makes its way to my head, grabbing me by the hair and pulling my face closer to him, I open my mouth and take him. I move my head up and down slowly, his hand is still on my hair, not pushing or pulling, not yet. ‘’Shit, that’s it. Faster.’’ I obey, moving my head faster and deeper. He lets out a growl, I look up at him, his head is throwed back and his eyes are closed. Then I feel it, his grip on my hair tightening, he starts pushing and pulling my head, using my mouth just for his pleasure, I feel the tip close to the back of my throat, my eyes are watery and I gag with every thrust. He looks down at me, biting on his lip. ‘’God, my slut taking that cock so well in his mouth. Fuck, you look so pretty with your mouth full.’’ He pulls my head backwards, with my tongue out and a few tears running down my eyes I pant, looking up at him with my teary eyes, I feel his precum on my cheek and nose, I can taste it on my tongue.

‘’Shit. So pretty when I use you, so fucking handsome. Is that all you needed to shut up? You needed my dick on your mouth to finally shut up. Tell me baby.’’ I close my mouth, licking my lips and nodding. ‘’That’s it, good slut.’’ I place my head on his thigh and he pats my head softly. After a few seconds my breath is steady again, he wipes the tears that fell down my face. ‘’On the bed, now.’’ I stand up, slowly laying down on the bed. My legs are clenched together trying to find a bit of friction. I see Nick taking his tie off. ‘’Arms up.’’ As soon as he says it my arms are above my head, my wrists together, and he softly but efficiently ties my hands together.

His hands roam my body, his teeth and lips leaving red marks all over my body. He doesn’t miss a single spot, my arms, my neck, chest, belly, thighs. My body squirms and shivers with his touch. Moans slipping from my mouth. ‘’Please, need you.’’

‘’But baby, don’t you remember? You were a fucking brat today; you don’t get to decide what you get… but maybe if you beg I’ll consider letting you cum.’’ He bites my thigh and slaps it.

‘’Please, I need you. Please, I’m sorry, won’t do it again, just please, want you so bad.’’ I feel him smiling against my skin. Nick bites the hem of my boxers and slides them down, my breath hitches at that sight.

‘’God, you are a mess. So, fucking needy.’’ he reaches out to my nightstand grabbing a bottle of lube that he left last time, he coats two of his fingers on it. ‘’Knees to your chest.’’ He demands, I pull up my legs the best I can without the help of my hands. ‘’Good job. Fuck, look at you, all wet and ready for me.’’ His fingers make their way to my entrance, slowly drawing lines and circles on in, making my legs tremble. Slowly he pushes the two fingers in, making my back arch a bit, my mouth opening and a soft moan escaping my mouth. His fingers start making scissor motions for a few seconds, then the introduces another finger, and this time he stars pumping the three of them at an ungodly pace. My back arching more, mouth and pleads leaving my mouth. ‘’Keep your legs up, come on.’’ His other hand on one of my knees, keeping it against my chest.

"Can’t. Fuck, I can’t. Please, please, can I cum?’’

‘’Go ahead baby.’’ a few quick pumps more and my legs were shaking, my head pressed against the mattress, but his hands didn’t stop, he started pumping faster, his fingers curling just the right way hitting all the right spots inside of me. ‘’Fuck, Nick. Please!’’ My eyes get watery, my hands gripping the sheets below it.

‘’I wanna hear you, don’t hold back. Make sure everyone hears how much of a slut you are for me, want everyone to know how good I make you feel.’’ My legs can’t stop shaking. I can’t control my moans. My thoughts are incoherent and my words too.

‘’Please! too much. So good.’’ I feel my stomach tightening again, and once again I let myself go on his hand. But this time he pulls his fingers out.

‘’Good fucking slut.’’ He kisses my cheek. ‘’My handsome pretty slut.’’ My chest goes up and down heavily. ‘’Can you keep going.’’ I nod. ‘’Words baby, need you to tell me what color.’’

‘’Yes, yes. Green.’’

‘’Good job.’’ He kisses my cheek again. ‘’On all fours.’’ He whispers against my hear. Letting go of my thighs he lets me roll around and I try to hold myself up the best I can with my shaky legs. I feel one slap on my ass and then the same hand gripping my hip. ‘’Say please, tell me you want me inside of you.’’

‘’Please, please. Want you, need you, need you inside. Please…’’ I move my hips backwards searching for his warmth and he slaps my ass again.

‘’So, fucking needy. Arch your back a bit more for me.’’ I do the best I can, my legs still a bit weak. ‘’So pretty…’’ I fill the tip entering my hole, I bit my lip, then he slams his hips hardly into me knocking all the hair out of my body. ‘’Go on, fuck yourself on my cock.’’

‘’Ah, fuck…’’ I moan against the pillow, rocking slamming my hips against his, going dumb on his dick. My movements are messy and my legs grow tired of moving. ‘’Can’t! please, fuck me. Please.’’

‘’God, you are so useless without me, aren’t you? Need me to fuck you, baby?’’ I moan loudly as a response. ‘’What a slut, my slut.’’ Another slap on my ass, his hands gripping my waist, pulling me in every time he thrust so I feel him deeper and rougher.

‘’Fuck. Nick!’’ my legs give up on me, I don’t fall because his strong hands are keeping me up.

‘’Didn’t give you permission.’’

‘’Sorry. Couldn’t wait, too good.’’ His trusts slow down and he starts to rub my back soflty.

‘’Wanna help me finish?’’

‘’Yes, please. wanna help you. Need to.’’ I feel a soft kiss on my shoulder and a small bite too. His hips start moving faster, it gets messy and rough again, the room filled with wet noises and moans from both of us.

‘’That’s it, so good for me. I just needed to fuck you properly for you to behave. My good boy, my good fucking slut.’’ His hands grip my waist tightly, my mind is dizzy and I can’t take it anymore, but it feels too good to stop. ‘’Shit baby, that’s it. Can I cum inside?’’

‘’Please, yes, need it inside. Please.’’ his trusts get messier, uneven and slower. His fingers digging into my flesh, probably leaving red marks I will see tomorrow.

‘’Fuck baby, cum with me. Do it. Fuck.’’ he gives two slow but deep trust and then pulls out, my legs are trembling, my breath is shaky. He helps me lay into my back and softly starts untying my hands. ‘’That’s it, good job baby. Good fucking job.’’ He kisses my cheek softly. ‘’Did so good, suck a good boy for me.’’ When my hands are free, they immediately wrap around his neck, nuzzling my face against it. ‘’I know baby, I know. I was a bit mean, but you know what bad boys get… now it’s time for me to take care of you, I’ll go get some water and something to clean us up.’’ I shake my head against his neck. ‘’Not yet? Okay, just a few seconds more, I have to get you some water baby.’’

His hands rubs my sides, his strong sent making me feel safe and warm. Nick knows exactly what to do to shut me up and make me his good boy again. He knows exactly what I need because he is all I need.

#nick sturniolo x reader #nick sturniolo x you #nick sturniolo x male reader #sturniolo triplets x reader #nick sturniolo smut

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simplydnp · 8 months ago

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idk why this matters to me but in the last few months they've been acknowledging so many things I never ever thought they would. pinof and the touching. the phude multiple times. dapc slime (ok they had merch to sell for that one but still)

no but actually. phil literally said 'i thought we weren't acknowledging it' about the phude and now they just bring it up all the time.

pinof reacts... i still can't believe we're in a post pinof-reacts universe. how did that happen. i was changed permanently--like something shuffled in my dna when i got the notif for pinof reacts 1. this is not a physical reaction but a chemical one that cannot be undone. for something that was so... sacred. and integral. to their existence and history. pinof wasn't generally talked about unless it was pinof time. and even then it was 'it'll be up soon' or 'we just posted it' and then Never talked about outside of that. especially not the first one! we freak out about the We Know You Know in the newsletter but it's Always been like that with pinof 1. so to see them--new (& natural 🥺) hair for them both, in a house they bought and built together, in the first few months of giving the gaming channel a second chance--reflect on how it all began? absolutely devastating. and to lean into moments and discuss them in new ways. in territory previously not breached! the 'they're toUching'?!?!? the '11 hour fuck session'!?!? the '£9000 champagne'?!?!? like hey we're not supposed to talk about that, dan and phil might see!! shhh!! but they're the ones saying it!! absolutely wild.

in a way, it had to happen. especially with where we're at now (them literally selling merch of them holding hands). in order for them to move beyond that... mindset? i guess? that a lot of fans had, they had to defang it. i really see it as one of the biggest walls they've broken down in the way they communicate with us. the 'hey. it's okay. we've seen it. it's not a big deal. we will absolutely make fun of you for it though. but we're good.'

i'm just really curious whose idea it was. (lbr it was probably phil given dans not a react kinda guy. but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be in the room where it happened when they talked about actually doing it or not, and what it would mean) (big ad revenue thats for sure 🤣 get it kings)

i will never be able to get phil's 'they touched' out of my head and at this point i wouldn't want to. it's absolutely earned. and i guess it makes me a masochist to enjoy the psychic damage it inflicts on me, but such is life i suppose.

the crafts mention really surprised me! i had contemplated a few different scenarios in how they'd go about it, and i'll be honest i feel like they could've committed to the bit a little more but they're forgiven. like what about glitchy interstitials! cuts to the merch website. found footage inserted between sections! i recognize they don't want to 'scare' their usual audience wirh sudden cuts to intense/graphic content but my immersionnn. absolutely shattered by 'oh we have new merch now btw'. cmon boys you love to lie to us. say theres merch up but you dont know where it came from. just that we should buy it 👀 or idk, something clever. and i recognize i may sound like a spoilt brat bc i just got a 14 minute long masterpiece of an unexpected dapc revival, but my immersion. i mean i already bought the merch before they shilled it anyways so it didn't influence me regardless 🤣

ultimately we really are in a new era. even beyond just the revival. i think they're really finding their stride--not only in their content (evidenced by a semi-regular schedule) but also creatively, in doing what they want to do, how they want to do it, and truly not giving that much of a fuck anymore. and i'm really happy for them. phil talked a bit about this in his 'rating my icons' video, where he's kind of decided he doesn't care what people on twitter think, and how it's been good for him, and i think we're seeing that reflected in not only his content, but also the gaming channel. they play what they want. they say what they want. and it's just fun. dan going on the record to say he's really enjoying it makes me so happy to hear, because literally december 2022 he believed he'd disappear after WAD. and now, instead, he gets to play games and make stupid jokes and smile and laugh multiple times a week, and he's really happy about it. he gets to be silly and goofy and crude without having to Stress about it. i keep saying it but they're so settled now. and as someone who's followed them through big changes and turbulent times, getting to see them happy after everything... it brings a lot of hope. and i know theyre millionaires. but there's something to looking at someone you fell in love with 15 years ago the same then as you do now. but instead of it being something scary, something you have to hide, something that feels like it can consume you and everything you have--it gets to be something beautiful. and regular. and embraced. you've read this far you get to listen to me wax poetic about them.

we've been thoroughly boiled and maybe, just maybe, it's warming our hearts too.

#thank u for sending this. ive been writing non-stop since it arrived in my inbox #there is nothing i love more than someone pointing me in a direction and saying alright go for it!#i am always only a few moments away from a dnp breakdown and im glad to share this journey with you all #dnp #dan and phil #c.text #answered #phan #<- for the fandometrics #edited tags: holyshit this is a 1k words w/ my tags. jfc. what is Wrong with me. it took less than an hour but idk when u sent it exactly

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milaisreading · 2 years ago

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Hiii good morning i was reading ur manager series and am totally in love with it specially the scenes where rin and reo decide to use their captain and rich-boy powers (the plushie one is my absolute fav) and i was wondering if i could request shidou and sae/kaiser/ness reaction to yns plushie or keychain? More than anyone else i wanna know shidous reaction🤭

Author : I didn't expect that story to be so popular since I came up with it at like 3 am☠️ but I hope you like this and thank you for the request🩷

Warnings ⚠️: Reader uses she/her. Requests are open

⚽️Blue lock belongs to:Muneyuki Kaneshiro and Yusuke Nomura⚽️

Shidou:

"Blue Lock is really that big now?" Loki commented as him and a few of his teammates were in the changing room of PXG, looking at a phone.

"Yeah! My sister wanted to buy one of the plushies and the site crashed like 3 times."

"Geez. Blue Lock 11 have boy group level fame." One chuckled as Shidou walked in, confused with the commotion.

"What are you guys looking at?" The blonde asked as he walked up closer, with the teammate showing him his screen.

"The guys who beat you, Blue Lock have now merch. Every girl or guy I know won't stop talking about them. My sister ordered like a collection of these plush toys."

"Haha my brother ordered all the keychains." Shidou was amused at the revelation, taking a mental note to tease Rin about it later.

"My sister has been complaining how hard it was to get the (Y/n) plush toy version. Every time there was a restock it got like sold out in a matter of minutes."

Now that was something Shidou had great interest in. The manager of Blue Lock has plushies? Shidou wanted to laugh.

'Hah! This is gold! But why would anyone buy that? A smaller version of (Y/n)? The whole replica? Small and soft...' Shidou's thoughts wandered off and he felt giddiness the more he imagined the item.

"Shidou, where are you going? We still need to train?" Loki called out as the taller walked out.

"I need to make fun of Rin for that plush toy of his!"

"Not again." Loki sighed and facepalmed.

The same night Shidou went on the Blue Lock website, where he found the said plush toy of the girl, and with absolutely no 2nd thought bought it.

'So adorable~' The boy grinned.

'I think 10 of these are a reasonable number.'

Sae:

Once in a while Sae would travel back to Japan to visit Blue Lock and his brother. Although he spent most of the time around (Y/n), trying to get her to join Madrid as their manager. The idea itself would be shut down by not only (Y/n), but also by Rin, who by now wouldn't leave the girl's side if he was around. This visit was a little bit different though. Since it was holiday season, Ego and Anri has sent everyone home and Sae was bummed a little. His brother wouldn't tell him anything relating to (Y/n).

'Brat.' Sae would roll his eyes at Rin's glares and him telling the older how his manager was none of Sae's business. The two weeks in Japan went by pretty quickly and it was Sae's time to go back. His mom, dad and Rin would drive him to the airport.

"It's in Rin's room?" Sae asked as his mom nodded her head.

"Yeah, I left your scarf there on accident, can you please get it? We need to hurry up to the airport and Rin is already outside."

Sae sighed and nodded his head, walking to the familiar door.

Opening it, Sae immediately spotted his red scarf and went to take it, only to freeze up when he noticed something on Rin's bed. On it was a smaller and softer version of (Y/n) staring up at him. Sae stood there for a moment and then quickly walked to the bed, picking the item up.

Sae stared at the soft toy in awe, astonished with how detailed it was.

'She looks adorable... nearly as adorable as the real (Y/n)? Where did Rin even find this? And why us he so reckless with it...' Sae sighed, patting (Y/n)'s head over and over.

"Sae! Hurry up!"

He turned to the door as his mother called for him. Sae shook his head and put the plush toy in his backpack and then took his scarf.

"Since you refused to tell me anything, I am taking (Y/n) with me. She is too adorable for Rin, anyways."

The next day, Sae was in his room and hugging the plush toy, enjoying the softness.

'So cute... so soft... I wonder if the real (Y/n) is even better to hug.' Sae's moment of peace was interrupted by his phone ringing.

"Hello." He said, already knowing who it is. He has been ignoring Rin's calls ever since he landed in Madrid.

"You thief! Did you take her?!" Rin yelled, obviously upset that his plushie was missing.

"Yes. She is really soft." Sae taunted.

"You bastard! I will come to Madrid and beat your ass!" Rin threatened.

"Do it and I will tell (Y/n) you had this thing to begin with. Imagine how much easier it will be to get her on my club then." Sae smirked as he got no answer in return and ended the call.

'Mine.' He thought as he hugged the plushie closer to himself.

Kaiser:

"What are you even looking at, Ness?" Kaiser raised his eyebrow as he saw his teammate and close friend smiling down at his phone.

'He looks like a child in a candy store.' Kaiser thought as Ness looked up at him in surprise, before showing him his phone.

"My package arrived today! I can't wait till I pick it up." The boy admitted as Kaiser went over the tracking history.

"From Japan? What did you even get there?"

"Huh? You didn't see it?" Ness wondered, making Kaiser even more confused.

"See what? Stop talking in circles."

"Blue Lock just released new merch and restocks-"

"Ness... please don't tell me you bought merch from THEM?"Kaiser asked in disbelief. As far as he knew, the only person in Blue Lock Ness liked was (Y/n).

'But there is no way they made merch of her. It's always about the players, not managers.' Kaiser thought.

"There was a cute plushie of (Y/n) and her figurine as well as a keychain... I had to get it!" Ness defended with an embarrassed look.

"Hold up... there is merch of her?" Kaiser wondered as Ness nodded his head.

"Yes! The plushie looks so adorable, I can't wait till I hold it." Ness cheered while Kaiser went to look at the item.

"Hmmm..."

A few weeks later...

It was late at night in Japan as (Y/n)'s phone rang. Panicked and still dizzy from her sleep, she took her phone and answered it.

"Helloo?" She slurred out, wondering who it could be.

"What a day to be alive, you never told me you had merch!" Kaiser laughed from the other side.

"Kaiser? Do you even know how late it is here? And what about the merch?" (Y/n) asked, a little annoyed but she was too tired to argue.

"It's kinda cute that my little Liebling is a star now. Don't forget about me when your merch sells out." Kaiser laughed.

"Shut up! I want to sleep!" She yelled but Kaiser kept on going and (Y/n) was forced to listen to his talk for another 10 minutes.

Kaiser on the other hand was sitting in his living room as the (Y/n) plushie sat on his lap, getting headpats from time to time.

Ness:

Ness was honestly not expecting to fin anything interesting the evening after a training. It was honestly normal, he showered, ate his dinner and went on his phone, to see what Blue Lock were up to. In all honesty he just wanted to see if there were any pictures or video clips with (Y/n) in them. But instead of that, he found an announcement on new merch.

"Huh? Plushies, keychains and figurines?" Ness mumbled and opened the link, boredly scrolling down the site as all of them were from players.

"Boring-" Ness stopped himself as he saw a familiar shade of (h/c) hair and stopped. Blinking at the items that were displayed, Ness took in the plushie, keychain and figurine that was displayed of (Y/n), all tiny and adorable.

"I need this. I don't even know what I entered this site for again." Ness mumbled as she put the items into the cart.

"You bought it?!" (Y/n) yelled from the other side of the phone. Ness giggled and hugged the plushie of the girl.

"Yeah! You have no idea how soft it is! I have been hugging it ever since it came hours ago." Ness said as the line went quiet for a moment.

"...and what do you think? How is the merch of me?" (Y/n) asked nervously as Ness looked down lovingly at her plushie replica.

"It's cute! Very soft and I love how well detailed it is. It's nearly as cute as you."

"A-ah?! You think so?! I... I need to go now and talk with Ego-san over something! See you, Ness!"

"See ya~" Ness said and ended the call, then looked down at the plushie again.

"So cute..." He smiled, giving a small kiss to the toy's forehead.

#blue lock anime #bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock manga #blue lock x reader #blue lock requests #shidou ryuusei #shidou ryuusei x reader #sae itoshi #sae itoshi x reader #michael kaiser #michael kaiser x reader #alexis ness #alexis ness x reader

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tricodekus · 3 days ago

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how does tsukki feel about hinata having a sugar daddy (kenma) /j

LOLLLL. Honestly, I don't think Tsukki would even like Kenma in the FIRST place. Sorry Tsukki-Kenma-friendship truthers, but even their first time on the court,, it's clear Kenma hardly likes Tsukishima.

So it would get on Tsukishima's nerves.

He knows there's nothing there romantically, but I can definitely imagine Tsukki becoming more posessive over Hinata.

Making him wear Sendai Frogs merch when he goes visit Kenma... Making sure he sees the pretty ring Hinata has on his finger. He just brings up the wedding whenever he's able to AHAHAHA. Tsukki is such a little brat. But we all love him. (Hinata does too.)

#tsukihina

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lucidlivi · 1 year ago

Text

I Can See You (II)

Series Masterlist/Warnings

Tag List: @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @perpetualabsurdity @antisocialcorrupt @heavenlyackles @anixiiee @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @deans-spinster-witch @k-slla @alternativeprincess @spnbaby-67 @cevansbaby-dove @cutedisneygrl @ladysparkles78 @rach5ive @deansapplepie @lauraashley93 @hzllxhoundxx @kmc1989 @creative-writing92 (if you would like added please comment on this post or send an ask with the story name so I can keep my story tag lists straight!)

"well I can see you."

What did that even mean?

Was he trying to flirt with me?

Surely not!

Although all of me wished that was the case, it couldn't be.

Could it?

I spent the rest of the night, well in to the next morning thinking about his words. I heard a light knocking on my door breaking me from my spiraling thoughts. Jared opens the door, crashing on my bed. I take my hand running it through his shaggy hair, it was something that always calmed him.

"what's up?" I asked him as he sighed.

"just tired, and a little nervous to start filming today." He admitted.

"don't be nervous, you'll be great, you always are." I smiled.

"I'm kind of glad you're coming with."

"kind of?" I scoffed in mock hurt.

"you know what I mean you brat." Jared said shoving my hand away from his hair.

"if anyone is a brat here it's you moose." I teased.

"just shut up and get dressed, we have to leave in a hour."

"you cut me deep moose." I joked.

Jared rolled his eyes before standing up and walking towards the door.

"uh one more thing, just uh stick with me and Jensen today, don't go wandering off like you do." Jared said, referring to my disappearing act last night at the party.

Jensen.

At the mention of his name, the events from last night, his words, it all came flooding back. I bit my lip, once again starting my spiral of overthinking.

"did you hear me?" Jared asked.

I rolled my eyes at him. He could be really annoyingly overprotective sometimes. I reluctantly shook my head in agreement.

"now get out of here!" I groaned throwing a pillow at him.

Jared dodged it easily, laughing before departing from my room.

I quickly got up throwing on some jeans and a t-shirt that read I ❤️Dean Winchester. I got it simply because I knew it would make Jared mad, and as his little sister I had a duty to annoy him as much as possible.

I ran a hand through my hair before descending down the stairs. Jared and Jensen sat in the kitchen, hunched over bowls of cereal. Jared was the first one to look up.

"what are you wearing?" He asked rolling his eyes, causing Jensen to look up too.

I could see the grin spread to Jensen's face.

"I for one love it." He smirked.

Jared rolled his eyes again.

"I can't wear your merch, that'd be weird, besides everyone knows Dean is the superior Winchester." I laughed grabbing the cereal box and dumping some in to my open mouth.

"she's got a point." Jensen said grabbing the cereal box from my hands to pour me a bowl.

"I hate you both." Jared grumbled, getting up to put his bowl in the sink.

I could feel an awkward tension settle between me and Jensen as Jared left the room. It was the first time where I had no clue what to say to him. It seemed like he was struggling with the same thing.

"about last night.." Jensen started but I cut him off.

"what about it?"

"I uh probably shouldn't have said that.." He said rubbing his neck nervously.

Ouch.

It was silly of me to think he meant anything by it.

"oh, okay." I whispered, trying my best to hide the disappointment in my voice.

Jensen breathed a sigh, standing up and walking over to the sink to deposit his bowl. He turns around quickly glancing at me.

"I meant it, I just probably shouldn't have said it."

I was dumbfounded as I watched him leave the kitchen.

I let out a shaky breath I didn't realize I was holding. I couldn't stop the smile that spread to my face.

Holy Shit.

It was definitely him being flirty.

Why else would he say he shouldn't have said it?

He didn't want Jared to know he was flirting with his little sister.

Okay, maybe I was getting a little too ahead of myself.

I scarfed down the rest of my cereal quickly joining the boys in the car. I kept sneaking glances at Jensen but he never returned them. It was like when other people were around, I was just Jared's annoying little sister, but when we were alone he was different.

I was feeling excited when we got to set. Jared and Jensen immediately went to wardrobe and makeup, dragging me along. I didn't realize just how much went into getting ready for shooting. As soon as they were ready they were whisked away to start filming. I stayed close, just like I had promised. I didn't mind though, it was cool to see Jensen and Jared take on a different persona and become Sam and Dean Winchester.

I giggled as Jensen broke character, yelling at Jared for messing up his lines.

"be nice to him!" I yelled from the sidelines.

Jared gave me a look as if telling me to shut up. I smirked before standing up and stretching my muscles. It felt like we've been here for hours already. I know I promised to stick close, but I really needed to find a bathroom.

I slipped away quietly, walking around the massive studio. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out, bringing it to life. It was a text from mom asking how Jared was doing. I rolled my eyes typing back a reply. It seems it didn't matter how I was doing, like usual.

I was too busy looking at my phone that I didn't see the body in front of me until I was crashing in to it.

"shit, are you okay?"

I looked up to see a really handsome guy, he looked to be around the same age as me.

"uh yeah, that was totally my fault." I said taking his extended hand so he could help me to my feet.

"are you uh a Jensen fan?" He asked pointing to my shirt with a laugh.

"I'm uh, Jared, uh Sam's sister, I got it mainly to make him mad." I said awkwardly.

I wasn't the kind of girl who was experienced with talking to guys, especially handsome ones.

"Well Jared Sam's sister it's nice to meet you I'm Jeremiah, I'm an extra for the first two episodes." He teased.

"It's nice to meet you too extra Jeremiah." I teased back surprising myself.

He laughed, making me blush.

"It's uh (y/n)." I said with a smile.

"(y/n), nice name for a nice personality." Jeremiah said making me blush even harder.

I wasn't use to men complimenting me.

"thank you." I replied shyly.

"well uh, I should get going, I'm supposed to be in the makeup trailer." He smiled offering me a small wave.

"Jeremiah." I called causing him to turn around.

"could you uh, maybe point me towards a bathroom?" I asked with a laugh.

"I'll do you one better, follow me."

I started to walk next to Jeremiah, taking a moment to get a good look at him. He had the prettiest blue eyes, a vast contrast from Jensen's green ones. He was naturally tan, with muscles protruding from his shirt.

"I get it, it can get a little crazy on set, hard to find things." Jeremiah spoke, breaking the silence.

"yeah I don't know how you guys do it." I admitted looking at where we were.

I was indeed going the complete opposite direction of the bathroom.

"yeah and I'm just an extra." He said sounding a little bummed.

I grabbed his hand giving it a comforting squeeze.

"Jeremiah don't worry you'll get your big break soon enough, Jared thought he was going to be working odd jobs forever and now look at him." I comforted.

"you're really cool, you know that?" Jeremiah said turning towards me with a smile.

I felt the blush spreading to my cheeks once again.

"you're really cool too." I smiled.

"uh here we are." Jeremiah says gesturing to a door.

"thanks." I said offering him another genuine smile.

"see you around Jared Sam's sister." He said with a wink.

"see you around extra Jeremiah."

I couldn't fight the smile on my face. It was nice to be noticed by someone. I quickly used the restroom, before skipping happily back to set where the boys stood.

"what's got you so smiley?" Jensen asked as he took a seat beside me.

"oh nothing." I said trying to shrug it off.

"no come on, just tell me." Jensen said bumping me with his elbow.

I took a deep breath. I could tell Jensen wasn't going to give it up.

"Jeremiah, he's uh one of the extras on set, he's nice." I shrugged as if it weren't a big deal.

I thought for a second I saw a flash of disappointment on Jensen's face.

"nice is he?" Jensen asked leaning back in the chair.

"yes, he was nice." I said bumping him with my elbow.

"just be careful, nice guys are the ones you have to watch out for." Jensen said.

"are you giving me relationship advice?" I asked with a giggle.

"just want you to be careful baby moose."

I rolled my eyes at his nickname.

"can you please stop calling me that, I just want to be called by my actual name." I grumbled making Jensen smirk.

Jensen stood up, leaning in to whisper in my ear.

"nah, you'll always be my baby moose."

I couldn't fight the blush that spread to my cheeks as I watched him walk back to set, ready to film the next scene.

my baby moose.

Holy Shit.

I settled back in the chair trying to calm my breathing as I watched the next scene. I saw Jeremiah walk on to screen, reciting his lines. He caught my eye offering me a smile. I offered him one back, catching Jensen's attention.

"and that's a wrap." I heard the director yell off screen.

I stood up ready to greet Jared. I was surprised to see Jeremiah walking over to me.

"Hi." He said with a grin.

"Hi Jeremiah, you were great out there." I said offering him a smile.

"Thanks, I uh came over to see if maybe you wanted to go get coffee with me?" Jeremiah asked with a hopeful smile on his face.

Woah.

He was asking me on a date?

I glanced past him to see Jensen talking with a female coworker. He was laughing and putting a hand on her arm.

I realized that Jensen would never like me the way I liked him.

"I would love to go for coffee with you Jeremiah." I said loud enough so Jensen could hear.

"great, uh let me go change and then we can go." Jeremiah said before rushing off.

I smiled as I watched him leave.

"ready to go?" Jared asked returning from his trailer.

"actually she has a date tonight." Jensen said before I could.

I glared at him.

"a date? who with?" Jared questioned.

"Jeremiah, the extra." Jensen answered again scoffing as he said extra.

"so what if he's an extra, he's nice, and he likes me." I said, glaring directly at Jensen.

"I didn't say there was anything wrong with being an extra." Jensen defended.

"yeah well you sure seem like you have a problem." I growled.

"Jared and I don't want you to get hurt is all." Jensen shot back.

"I think the both of you should just let me make my own decisions." I yelled.

Jensen was about to respond, but Jeremiah was walking over to us again.

"I uh know this great coffee shop, you ready to go?" He asked nervously looking at Jared and Jensen.

"I am, I'll see you both later." I said glaring at both boys, but mostly Jensen.

Who did he think he was?

He acts one way when we're around everyone else and another when we're in private. It was confusing and frustrating. It was like he was ashamed to be with me. I deserved to have someone who was happy to be around me, happy to be seen with me.

Jensen

I watched her walk away, slipping her hand in his.

I could feel the jealously burning in my chest.

I shouldn't be jealous, I know that.

I can't help it.

I thought I made it clear that I was interested, but I guess I hadn't made it clear enough.

"dude, what's up with you?" Jared asked looking at me.

"nothing, I just don't want baby moose to get taken advantage of by some guy we don't even know." I said trying to hide what I was actually feeling.

"I mean yeah but he seems harmless enough." Jared shrugs.

I think that was the problem.

He seemed like a good guy. A guy that could treat her how she deserved to be treated. A guy that Jared approved of.

"I guess so." I answered.

"I'm beat, you ready to go home?" Jared asked with a yawn.

"I'll catch you at home, there's some things I need to take care of first." I said offering him a smile.

"okay man, see you later." Jared said with a wave.

I was suddenly feeling the need for some coffee.

Reader

"oh my gosh no." Jeremiah said laughing at my embarrassing story.

I had been talking to Jeremiah for over an hour. He was super easy to talk to once I got over the nerves. He was actually really funny too. I was thoroughly enjoying myself.

"I swear to you, spilled it all over the designer." I said laughing too.

"you certainly have a thing for great first impressions." Jeremiah winked.

"It's one of my many shining qualities." I joked.

"I mean you didn't have to hurt yourself to get my attention." Jeremiah flirts, placing a hand on my cheek.

I couldn't stop the blush that spread to my cheeks.

"you're cute when you blush." Jeremiah said gently stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"I probably look like a mess." I said laughing.

"I don't think that's even possible." He whispered, closer to me now.

I could see his eyes shifting from mine, down to my lips.

I think he wants to kiss me.

I think I might want him too.

I gulped as he leaned in, fluttering his eyes closed.

"baby moose, so funny seeing you here."

I jumped at Jensen's loud voice pulling away from Jeremiah.

"Jeremiah right?" Jensen asks holding his hand out for Jeremiah to shake.

"yeah, hey." Jeremiah answers shaking his hand.

It was incredibly awkward as Jensen stood staring at Jeremiah.

"uh Jere, can you go get me a refill?" I asked handing him my empty coffee cup.

"sure, be right back." Jeremiah smiled, taking my cup and disappearing towards the front.

I turned towards Jensen glaring at him.

"what the hell do you think you're doing?" I growled.

"oh you know just getting some coffee."

"you have no right, you need to go!"

"relax, I'm just grabbing some coffee." Jensen smirked.

"well grab your coffee and go, now."

"you don't have to be such a brat." Jensen scoffed before leaving.

Jeremiah came back shortly after with a now full cup of coffee.

"everything okay there?" He asked looking around for Jensen.

"yeah, sorry he just can be kind of an ass sometimes." I said furrowing my eyebrows.

I sat with Jeremiah for another hour, talking and laughing. He then offered to drive me home, which of course I accepted. He pulled in to the driveway, turning off the car.

"I uh, had a really nice time with you tonight." Jeremiah said.

"I had a good time too, thank you." I said offering him a smile.

"I guess this is goodnight then." Jeremiah said slowly, like he was dreading leaving.

"I mean shouldn't we say goodnight properly?" I asked turning towards him with a flirty smile.

Jeremiah smirked, getting what I was hinting at.

Jeremiah leaned in, capturing my lips with his in a gentle kiss. I put my hand on his cheek, kissing him deeper. He was really good at it. I slowly pulled away, allowing the blush to spread to my cheeks.

"goodnight Jeremiah." I said before exiting the car.

I couldn't fight the smile as I walked in to the house, going towards the kitchen.

"how was the rest of your hot date?" Jensen asked sitting at the kitchen island.

I felt my anger towards him return.

"excuse me?"

"relax (y/n) I was just having a bit of fun." Jensen said.

"you're an asshole you know that, okay, all I wanted was to go on a date with a guy I think is cute, and sweet and you had to show up and ruin it." I growled.

"and me showing up for like two seconds ruined that, really?"

"why couldn't you just let me have this one thing, just admit it you cared where I was, who I was with." I started but Jensen quickly cut me off.

"no I didn't, I don't." Jensen was quick to defend

"stop lying!"

"stop being such a baby!"

"oh and you're such an adult huh, you spent your night crashing my first date just for fun!" I yelled furious at him.

Jensen glared at me, taking a sip of his beer.

"you know what just forget it, why don't you go flirt with some more girls." I scoffed turning to walk away.

"yeah, well why don't you go kiss some more wannabe actors." Jensen growled.

I took a deep breath walking away from him.

I feel that if someone really wants you in their life, they’re gonna show it, not just talk about it, and if their actions don’t match up to their words, I lose interest fast.

Jensen was unbelievable.

If he wanted me, he would show it.

I used to know I wanted him, but now I'm not so sure.

Author Note:

I hope you enjoyed part two! If you could, please leave a heart, comment, reblog, or a follow it would be greatly appreciated! Stay tuned for more!

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shurislover · 9 months ago

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meg the stallion headcannons

a/n - i’ve never written for Meg before so let’s see how this goes and these are just my personal thoughts on how i think she’d be in a relationship. hope yall enjoy 😊 im not sure if anyone has done headcannons for her either.

also this will probably be a mix of sfw and nsfw but honestly it’s mainly fluff.

divider - @firefly-graphics

tags - @oceean @beautybyfire @notapradagurl7 @onyxstones-world @blkgworlamplified

you’re her plus one for EVERYTHING , no matter if it’s a fashion show, basketball game , award show she always has you by her side.

she really loves having you around, even if it’s just to sit in complete silence, she’s satisfied as long as you’re there.

extremely clingy but you love it. she either has to be near you or touching you at all times tbh personal space doesn’t exist to her & if she’s away doing shows or photoshoots you’re on call with her all day long.

“ baby we are in the house you don’t need to hold my hand “ “ what if you like disappear?” you laughed at how serious she was “ you’re cute but baby i’m not going anywhere gimme kiss “

her lockscreen is of you and her on you guys first date, and it’s been her lockscreen for as long as y’all been together and she refuses to change it to anything else.

absolutely loves spending money on you, even though half the things she buys YOU DONT NEED.

definitely surprises you with vacations when she has a decent amount of time off from work. “ my love , pack maybe 2 weeks of clothes our flight leaves in about 5 hours “ “ GIRL WHAT ?” “ y/n we don’t have time for this pack up and let’s go “

gives you all the deets on new projects or songs she’s working on, so you always know all the words to her songs before they drop & gets all the new merch before anyone else

HUGS ? megan loves hugs, every chance she gets she’ll hug you. in the kitchen cooking ? she’ll hug you from behind and kiss your cheek. coming home from work ? she’ll run from wherever she is and jump on you. you’re her comfort person.

her favorite thing to do after a make out session is resting her forehead on yours and just stare into your eyes, she always says “ you have the most beautiful brown eyes i’ve ever seen, i get lost in them everytime “

now she knows when she’s pissed you off because you’ll give her the silent treatment, but that never lasts long , she does this pout and she KNOWS that’s your weakness so the moment you look up at her face , your face instantly softens.

megan loves when u have rough day at work because she thinks it’s so cute to find you knocked out on the couch, that means she gets to carry you to bed , slip on your pajamas and bonnet and tuck you in then leave a goodnight kiss on your forehead.

her favorite names to call you are :

“ babyyyyyyyyy “

“ my loveeeeee “

“ beautifullllllll”

“ princessssss”

wifeyyyy “

She cares about you very deeply & does not play about you. The day she dropped a hard launch photo dump on instagram the hate you got was horrible. It wasn’t even coming from her fans it was other people & Megan always reassured you :

“ Dont listen to them. You’re the most special person in my life, someone i hold very dear to my heart. Those people don’t know you, they don’t know how amazing and wonderful you are. They don’t know about the love we have & fuck them !!! You my baby and that’s all that matters.

she knows how to fluster you out in public and every single time you fold.

she’ll walk up behind you while you’re mingling with friends and whispers things in your ear like “ i can’t wait till we get home “ “ you look so good i could eat you out right now “ “ we should have another round of last night “ & once megan walks away you have about 5 minutes to say your goodbyes and hop in the car

now meg may be the dominant one but she LOVES when you put her in her place. she loves when you take control

she’s a B R A T . a brat to the T ! and it’s you’re fault because you spoil the fuck outta her. so once she hears that word “ no “ it’s a wrap first she’ll catch an attitude then she stops talking to you & lastly she goes and hides in your shared bedroom until you change your mind

“ baby please let me in “ silence “ pleaseeee ill give you a kiss “ silence “ “ fine , ill buy you that chanel bag despite you having it already in every single color “ you listen as the door unlocks and she’s just there cheesin like a kid on Christmas “ thank you baby “

big baby at heart.

loves when you tell her she’s pretty in between kisses . she starts blushing then hides her face

one of her favorite memories with you is when she had a really bad day at work so you surprised her by setting up a fort with all her favorite snacks and drinks and ordered in from her favorite restaurant and binge watched all her favorite anime

A HOODIE STEALER ! especially when she travels for work all your hoodies seem to go missing.

loves that you let her be outside and enjoy her time with friends because at the end of the day she’s coming home to you. everyone thinks you should have a problem with her twerking when in reality she’s been doing it long before yall got together and it’s her favorite thing to do so why have her stop.

little does she know you already have a ring picked out for her and can’t wait till the day to make her your wife.

#vees recs #meg thee stallion #megan pete #headcannons #megan thee stallion #meg x y/n

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fertilize-my-eggs · 2 years ago

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Baby fever yandere shigaraki x chubby fem reader noncon smut

A/n: this took me two days of writing this and it's based on my post and my baby fever, I couldn't help it🥴💦💦 p.s. I know it's bad, leave me alone. AO3

Warnings: scummy shigaraki + choking kink + creampies + body worship + violent + tomura kidnaps reader + breeding + dead dove DO NOT EAT. MINORS/ANTIS/AGELESS DNI !!

Shigaraki never once thought of having children in his life nor caring about relationships, his main goal was to destroy hero society and make it better. He was at the mall casually walking too deep in his thoughts.

Tomura never thought about it until he saw you, he was breathless to the least. Your curvy body, the way you bounce happily coming out of a hot topic with hello kitty merch, very girly items too. He couldn't help but want to kidnap and lock you in his room to fill you up for hours… Then his thoughts start to get more dirtier by the minute, he bites his scarred lips to stop the groans coming out.

He thought about knocking you up and filling his semen inside your womb to imagine if your belly would get bigger.

His body has a mind of its own instead of heading to the gamestop for games, his main goal was to get you alone.

He quietly follows behind you, he almost laughs at how you clearly weren't looking at your surroundings and happily humming heading home.

What? Just because there heros around doesn't mean you're safe.

Once you're heading to a dark alley it was His time to strike quick to his feet, he put his hand around your throat and almost choked you while you're struggling. It turns out you're putting up a fight, the items fell to the trash cover ground.

Tomura had to wrestle with you until he pinned you down on your back with his hand on your throat. Your frightened tearing eyes were turning him on more.

" Wow… you're a pain.. but fuck I love it when they fight back. " Your eyes were dilating fast, he felt your legs trying to kick or thrust your hips up to get him off of you but it was making him grunt out.

" Ooohh I see you're still fighting back. " He chuckled darkly. " Stop struggling more or you will accidentally disintegrate by my quirk. " His pinky wiggled close to your neck as your eyes were practically bulging out and went limp. Mhmm fuck, that hot he thought to himself.

" Heeh good now you're listening.. you gotta be good for me and your life wouldn't be wasted. " He leans in to lick the side of your face up to your ear as he begins nipping it.

He can hear your choked out cries and sob for help.

He can't wait to take you ' home ' and break you down until you're nothing but wanted him and his cock only.

He grabs both of your hands up and finally releases the hold of your neck, costing you to gasp for air and breathing heavily.

" You're coming wit-.. "

He felt a wetness on his cheeks as he realized you spit at him.

" Fuck you-.. " he begins to choked you more as he begin to tsk at you.

" Such a fucking brat… don't worry I'm planning on destroy that attitude of yours. " Your eyes went wide, he's waiting for you to lose consciousness, your eyes blinked fast and you're starting to feel lightheaded.

He chuckled again as your body isn't moving..

You slowly wake up, was it a dream.. you feel comfortable in the soft sheets only to realize this isn't your bed nor your room.

You begin to move only to hear rattle noises, your eyes see both your ankles and wrists in chains.

" Oh good you're awake so we can have some fun. " Chills running down your spine as you see him in the chair with the bright colorful light coming from his computer.

He slowly turns around as you start to cry out, he looks like a sleep paralysis demon that you get from nightmares and this is one of them that turns into reality.

" Please I don't wanna be here I-.. " he begins to get up and walk close to you so close that you see his red eyes stare into your soul.

"Shut up, you talk too much… oh I know." You started to gag out as he shoved three fingers in your throat, you mentally remember his quirk and his deadly hands touching your tongue.

"Aww where that back talk? Struggling to answer that baby." He purrs at you, your head is pulled away roughly as you look into his cold heartless stare.

"You're gonna take what I give you." You watch his smile turn more sinister by the second. " I'll impregnate you, giving you our greatest spawn of life. " Your lip starts to shake in fear.

"You… you can't DO THAT-! I DON'T WANT THIS!!" You scream at him only to laugh at your face.

He proceeds to decay his own clothes off as you keep screaming at him to stop.

Tomura has enough of your screams so he shoved his throbbing manhood into your mouth, you bit his dick only for you to get slapped in the face hard.

Your hiccups sobs were only the thing echoing in the room.

Tomura shoves his length back into your mouth as you begin to suck more and licking the underside of his cock.

"Aww the baby finally got their bottle, are you calm now brat?" Tomura coo at you as if you're an infant.

His narrow hips thrust into your mouth as he starts to get rough and fast, you couldn't fight back or push his hips away from these chains.

He groans loud as he grabs a handful of your hair making you focus down more of his cock.

He quickly pulls away and you pant like a dog in heat.

Shigaraki gets on the bed as you begin to shake uncontrollably so that you know what is coming.

He grabs his hot throbbing dick tap your clit then begins to hotdog your entrance, his cock between your lips as he groans out.

"Please… stop." He chose to ignore your pleas and went fast. You felt his tip almost hit your entrance and finally you gave in.

You look into his lustful eyes as he stares back at you unsettling.

"Please… fuck me." Tomura pauses as he tilts his head to the side.

"What?" You turned away embarrassed but he forcefully grabbed your chin to make you look at him.

"Say it again." Your eyes twitch with anxiety.

"Please fuck me-.." no waring shigaraki slammed his cock inside of you costing you to scream out.

Your cries didn't last long as Tomura began to aggressively make out with you, he slid his slimy tongue inside as your tongues fight for dominance but clearly tomura was stronger than you.

The pain in your lower abdomen gets stronger each time shigaraki slammed his hips to yours.

The squenching rings in your ears and the sound he makes, deep growls and scratchy whines.

You feel hot liquid in your womb to realize he is reaching his orgasm.

His cock twitching as his semen fills you up.

You watch tomura's hand move to your ankles and proceed to decaying the metal chain, your legs now free.

Shigaraki pushing your thick thighs over your chest, making you into a mating press and pounding into your tight hole.

The sweat coming down from his face as your cry echo out more and your fingers dig on your palms, this fucking hurts.

Tomura sighs heavily as you feel more of his cum hitting your walls.

You start to notice your belly getting bigger… holy shit.. how much cum does he have ??

"Fuck… look at you." Tomura grabs your chin as he makes you stare into his lustful crimson eyes.

"Carrying all my babies inside of you.. aughh fuck." His hand goes to your belly areas and proceeds to rub it with care and gentleness.

It catches you off guard, his thrusts heavy and rough but his hand movement seems more careful and sincere.

Your eyes roll back and scream out, you don't know how many orgasms you've gotten up to but you start to feel lightheaded and overstimulated.

Tomura twisted your body around so you were on your knees, it was an uncomfortable position.

Shigaraki begins to aggressively bite your shoulder area, your neck covered up with bruises and bite marks.

Your tear sliding down your face as you felt his hands caressing your swollen belly then grabs your hips to get more rough, you felt his tip hitting your cervix, your cries louder each time he hit it.

" Shit I'm coming again aughh fuck-! " Tomura wraps his arms around your neck putting you in choke hold.

The ringing echo in your ears and you start to reach your high, you never had this intense orgasm in your life. The skin slapping skin, heavy cries and choked out moans were music to his ear.

Your wall contracting around his cock making him reach his end, more cum filled you up, you can feel his sticky heavy liquid sliding down your thick thighs.

It all went quiet, only the sound of his breathing and the smell of sex and sweat in the air.

Tomura removes his arm from your neck, you can feel it hot and hurting.

Shigaraki leans in to give soft kisses to your face, you feel numb, your body limp, unable to move.

"Don't worry baby, I'm letting you rest so we can go for more rounds." He removed himself as he put new boxers on as he moved to the computer.

"I'll clean you up after I finish, don't make a peep." You were too tired to make a sound or more.

Heavy sleep slowly consumes you.

#tw abuse #tw rape #tw noncon #tw yandere #shigaraki tomura #x reader #smut #fanfic #minors dni #mha #bnha #tomura x reader smut #tomura shigaraki x chubby reader

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shyphonics · 8 months ago

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Salad Days Chapter 4: When Archeologists Dig This Up, They'll Either Laugh or Cry

(babypunk!Rodrick Heffley x reader)

chapter one | chapter two | chapter three

also, please take my favorite live performance of rise above by Black Flag as a companion piece

Hey!

I do not like you college brat

I do not like you and your frat

I do not like you at the shore

I do not like you drunk on coors

I do not like your average life

I hope you do not take a wife

I hope you don’t decide to breed

Cause that’s one thing I do not need

Well, they did it. They’ve got a van full of booze, and a sense of self satisfaction.

It had taken a while to fit everything in, and the guy at the pickup spot hadn’t been very nice, but they did it.

Mike seems more calm when they show up to The Strike, happy to see them, even.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, you giraffe of a man!” He pulls Rodrick into a hug, heartily patting him on the back. Rodrick does kind of feel like a giraffe, Mike only comes up to the middle of his chest.

“Hey, if there’s anything else you need, just let us know!” Rodrick gives him a smile.

He grabs a box of bottles and heads through the back door of the bar. The guys work like ants; grab a case, march to the walk in, march back. They’re done in no time. He wonders if the delivery center is hiring, because that was easy.

Mike shoves a bundle of money into his hands, and gives him another pat on the back.

“She was right about you.”

“Huh?”

“You’ve got the spirit,” he smiles, “like a young Henry Rollins, slingin’ ice cream. See you tomorrow. Show up at 5 PM, load in here. Got it?”

“Got it,” Rodrick nods.

The spirit. He has no idea what that means, but he’s grateful for the sentiment. Especially if you’d said something nice about him… he finally has ammo to tease you back.

Mike disappears into the back of the bar, and the guys regroup to count their unexpected pay.

“Dude, he gave us a hundred dollars!” Chris says, shocked.

They recount again and again, coming to one hundred every time. They can’t believe it, and they speed away from the bar with the radio turned all the way up.

The rest of their day is spent planning. They craft the perfect setlist, they find their tightest jeans, they even find time to learn a surprise cover song. It's one he'd heard on your radio shift, and it's been stuck in his head all day.

Everything has to be perfect.

Rodrick is sure everything is gonna be perfect.

It’s only 5:30 by the time they’re done setting up, and they find themselves just standing in front of the stage, awestruck.

It’s not huge by any means, but it’s high off the ground and covered in lights. There’s a full PA system, and even a pole to hang their homemade bedsheet flag from.

The bar is empty, except for a guy in the sound booth, Jimbo by the door, and two bartenders prepping. Rodrick doesn’t see you, and immediately gets a pang of sadness.

“Hey,” he starts, leaning on the bar.

“We can’t serve yet, sorry.” A girl with tight blonde curls shuts him down.

“Oh, no, I was gonna ask… where’s the other girl that works here?”

She thinks for a moment, then makes a face of realization.

“Oh, she’s not working tonight. She’s headlining.”

Rodrick’s eyes go wide. Headlining? You? His mind is blown.

The bartender goes back to prepping without giving him a second thought. Rodrick walks back to the stage, zombie-like, deep in thought.

Now they really have to be perfect.

A few people have come in through the back, and they’re setting up portable tables along a wall.

“You guys need one?” A girl with tall, spiked hair asks.

They look at each other. Merch. Duh. They're pretty sure they have an unorganized cardboard box of t-shirts and buttons in the van. Ward had spent all his high school graduation cash on some real ones from a print shop.

Ben and Chris wedge the table out from between two vending machines, and Rodrick digs the box out of the van. It’s not a very impressive setup, but they’re pretty happy with themselves.

The doors open at 7, and it doesn’t take long for the place to fill up. Mike comes by and gives each of the guys three little paper tickets, like you’d get at an arcade.

“Beer tickets,” he says, before they can ask, “one of these gets you anything canned or bottled. Be nice to the bartenders, please.”

Ward and Ben high five and head straight to the bar, Chris heads to the bathroom, and Rodrick does a full scan of the area by the stage. Where are you? He needs to make fun of you for being nice to him, dammit.

Ward and Ben get back, looking a little shaken up.

“Rodrick, hey, do you want us to get you a beer?” Ben chuckles nervously.

“Nah, I can get it myself,” Rodrick starts to walk towards the front.

“No, no,” Ward puts a hand on his shoulder.

“You should really let us get you one!” Ben makes urgent eye contact.

“Why...?” Rodrick is starting to get freaked out.

“‘Cause we’re buddies!” Ward pats him on the shoulder.

Something is definitely up.

Rodrick pushes past Ward, walking through the tall arch that leads to the bar area. It’s absolutely packed. His heart skips a beat when he sees a flash of golden blonde hair.

Oddly familiar golden blonde hair.

The girl turns around.

No. It can’t be. There’s no way in hell that it’s-

“Heather Hills,” Rodrick whispers, grateful for the loud house music.

She’s sitting at the bar with a large group of people. Some douchebag with a double popped collar has his arm around her. They’re all laughing- the kind of laugh you do at someone. Snotty.

Any attraction he’d had to her has been completely gone for years. He feels a mix of hatred and nausea. They’re at the far end of the bar, by the door, so Rodrick blends in at the other end.

Please don’t look at me.

He gets a beer from the bartender from earlier, making sure to tip as your snarky reminder rings in his head. Also making sure to avoid Natty Light. He turns fast to get back to the stage, and right before he’s through the arch-

“Rodrick? Rodrick Heffley?”

He wheels around. She’s right fucking behind him.

“Oh, hey, what was your name again?” He rolls his eyes.

“Real mature, asshole.” She scoffs, “What are you doing here?”

“Playing a show. What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Aww, you don’t wanna play nice with me?” She drags a finger down his chest. It enrages him.

“No. And you know why?” His voice goes low. He leans down so his face is close to hers, and he’s about to let everything out. Her face is smug, and she raises her eyebrows.

Suddenly, there’s a hand on his back.

“Hey, you’re on in ten. Soundcheck time.” You peer around to see Rodrick's face. He looks pissed. You’re not sure what’s going on, but it’s none of your business. You’re just the messenger.

Rodrick’s eyes bug when he sees you, and his face relaxes a little.

“Um, excuse me, we were talking.” The blonde girl sneers at you.

“You can talk later. We gotta get this shit rollin’.” You don’t wait to see her reaction. You just turn around and head back to the stage.

If you’re honest, it's a little disappointing seeing Rodrick with, you assume, his very pretty girlfriend. It makes sense though. He's a nice looking guy. Your official assessment is toxic on-again, off-again high school sweethearts. Oh, well.

Just keep walking. Stay on schedule. Five bands, twenty minute sets, ten minutes for stage change. You repeat it in your head like a mantra.

Heather’s mouth is hanging open. Rodrick winces.

“Gotta go,”

He practically runs to the stage.

They’ve never done a real soundcheck before, and it’s kind of an intimidating process. The sound engineer is very no nonsense. Rodrick checks his drums one by one. Then bass, guitars, mics. Each adjustment is barely noticeable to them, and they end up just giving a thumbs up every time the engineer asks a question. Finally, they run through the whole chorus of a song to hear everything together. By that point, the dance floor is almost entirely full.

Rodrick takes a deep breath, scanning for Heather. He hopes she just left.

They've come a long way since their high school days, no longer unpracticed wannabes. Their sound has become pretty good, if they say so themselves. Tonight's only adjustment is to play faster.

The sound guy points at them, and Ben clears his throat.

“We… are Löded Diper!”

The chatting in the crowd subsides, and falls silent.

Rodrick hears snickering, and a voice saying oh my god, that IS him!

He panics, and right when the tension is almost too much to bear, a loud WOOOOOOOO comes from the very front. He looks and sees you, trying to rile up the crowd. It seems to be working. Other people are giving half-hearted cheers, which is something at least.

“That's more like it!” Ben yells, and they launch into their first song.

They only have a five song set, so everything has to count. Ben’s wails are powerful, he's really embodying a frontman. Chris is whipping his hair around, and Ward is the true picture of a bassist. Strong, still, and holding it all together.

Rodrick is hyper-focused on keeping the rhythm. And maybe showing off, just a little bit. He puts his whole body into hitting the drums, his mouth pulled into a tight “o”.

You have a perfect view from the front row, and what a view it is.

He's killing it. So focused and steady, but it looks like he's having fun. He leans into the mic to sing backup, and you get a flash of his sharp canines. You can see the muscles in his arms clenching, and the front of his hair is wet with sweat.

You feel your face getting hot, and you're reluctant to admit it's not just from the packed room. You’re suddenly faced with the very real possibility that you're very attracted to him.

He gives you a huge grin and a wink between songs, and it's no longer just a possibility. Fuck.

Blasts of air from his bass drum cool your face down, and you stare at him a little closer, analyzing.

You've been infantilising him a little bit, you'll admit it.

Kid. Cute. Baby boy.

Although you’re pretty sure the two of you are the same age, he just comes off like a teenager. You couldn’t help but haze him a little bit, especially after he just wandered into the bar with no plan. He’s really proving himself right now.

The crowd is going crazy. You’re holding yourself up on the edge of the stage, but behind you, a sizable pit has opened up. People are loving them.

“We have one more!” Ben shouts. People are screaming.

“We learned it just for you!” Rodrick yells. There’s something snarky about his tone. You like it.

You recognize the song immediately. Their rendition is just a little clunky, but it works. You can't help but smile, and wonder if Rodrick somehow heard your radio shift last night.

It's such a good choice for a first show. Perfect, really. It's like they're saying, we're here, fuckers.

You let the crowd swallow you up as you sing along.

Society's arms of control

(Rise above, we're gonna rise above!)

They think they're smart, can't think for themselves

(Rise above, we're gonna rise above!)

Laugh at us behind our backs

(Rise above, we're gonna rise above!)

I find satisfaction in what they lack

(Rise above, we're gonna rise above!)

We! Are Tired!

Of your! Abuse!

Try to stop us!

But it’s! No use!

The aftermath of their set is chaos. Good chaos, but chaos. They tear down their gear and load up the van. On their way back in, people are yelling and patting their shoulders as they walk by.

Hell yeah, dude!

Good set, bro!

It feels good.

A small crowd has formed at their merch table. Chris takes on the task of handling the sales, and before they know it, their box is nearly half gone. They hadn't expected that.

Another unexpected side effect of playing a good set: booze.

Once the merch crowd is gone, old rocker types materialize, holding out shot glasses and cans. One guy hands Rodrick a shot of something that burns, and puts a heavy arm around his shoulder. He starts up a conversation about drumming, which is really more like a monologue.

You were great out there, man. Who's your favorite? Like, who's your guy? It's Lars for me, bro, 100%. I saw Metallica in ‘88, bro. Busted a knee in the pit, and now I can’t play a double pedal no more. Where'd you learn to play like that? You could play like Hellhammer with those arms. Fuckin’ rock on, brother. Oh, hey, sorry, I was supposed to give you this lime to help with the tequila...

Rodrick’s head swims as the guy babbles, nodding his head like he's listening.

“Thank you,” he finally sighs out. He’s exhausted from just listening to the guy. He pops the lime in his mouth, and it does help quite a bit.

People just keep coming with shots, and beers, and stories, and the guys end up piss drunk before the second band is done setting up.

Rodrick smiles and looks around. He's having fun. They did what they came to do, and people actually liked it. The rest of the guys are making conversation with the other bands. Heather and whoever else had been laughing at him are nowhere to be seen, and he's happy.

Even happier when you appear in front of the table.

“Heyyy!” He yells, giving you a singular finger gun, his other hand occupied with a beer can.

You take one look at his half lidded eyes and lazy smile, and realize he's wasted.

“Are you drunk?” You cackle, “It's not even 8:30!”

He turns, and spits a sucked-dry lime slice into the trash can next to him.

“Shut up! You're drunk!” Rodrick points at you, smile still wide.

“Oh, man. You're gone. Your girlfriend is gonna be pissed!” You laugh.

The drunk-happy look fades from his face.

“My huh?”

“That girl you were talking to you. Girlfriend, right?”

“No fucking way!” he bursts out laughing, “She’s a rich, stuck-up asshole! She's an evil witch from hell!” He downs the rest of his beer.

“Harsh, but I believe you.”

Well, that settles that.

You wonder if Rodrick has ever been this drunk in his life. He doesn't seem like he knows how to handle it, but he seems to be having a good time, at least.

“Hey. You did really, really good. You killed it. I mean it.” You lean on the merch table and smile up at him.

Rodrick’s eyes are sparkling, and his smile is somehow bigger than before.

“You liked us?”

“I loved you guys. Everyone did. They're totally gonna have you back.”

He looks like he might cry.

"Hey, don't I get a shirt? Wasn't that part of our deal?"

Rodrick thinks hard, finally remembering.

"Oh yeah!" He shouts.

He ducks down under the table and rifles through a big box. You lean over and tell him your size. He looks deeply focused.

He finally resurfaces, and holds up the shirt, triumphantly. You take it and sling it over your arm.

"Thanks," you smile, "I'll wear it all the time."

He beams.

You hold out your hand, and he hesitates for a second before grabbing it.

“You wanna come stand with me? The next band is up.”

Rodrick’s heart soars.

You lead him to the middle of the crowd, where three other people are gathered, talking.

“This is my band: Maureen, Jessica, and Eddie.”

Rodrick is seeing double at this point, but he smiles and waves. He thinks he sees a girl with ridiculously long black hair, a girl with very short green hair, and a guy with little round glasses.

“Good set,” the guy gives him a fist bump.

Before they can talk any more, a microphone squeals. Everyone in the crowd is at attention. Rodrick blinks to try and focus in on the stage; the next band has set up a giant, inflatable palm tree and some yard flamingos. They're all dressed for the pool, it seems like. Big, bright board shorts and floaties. The singer is barefoot, and has a megaphone in hand.

“May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please,” his distorted voice comes through the megaphone, “The president of the United States is an insect! All your lives are a lie!”

The next few minutes are a blur of sound and color. Rodrick can’t process anything that’s happening in front of him. The music is weird, but good. Messy. The words don’t make any sense. His body is starting to sway uncontrollably, and he’s worried he might topple over.

His shoulder bumps yours, and you look up. He doesn’t look so good. You grab his hand again and lead him out of the crowd, all the way to the front patio, stopping to grab a water on the way.

Cool air hits Rodrick’s face, and he feels at ease. You help him into a low metal chair, and he stares up at you, helplessly.

“Are you good?” You push his hair up, away from his forehead, and hand him the cup of water.

“That was a lot,” he breathes, dazed.

“Chug that water, you’ll feel better,” you lean on the railing next to his chair, “and no more booze, big boy.”

“I thought I was baby boy,” Rodrick slurs, smirking.

“I think you’ve transcended that term,” you laugh, “unless you want to be baby boy.”

“What if I do?”

“You’re so weird,” you give his chair a little kick.

He sticks out his arm to catch your leg, and chugs the whole water in one go.

He lifts your leg a little higher, slinging it over his shoulder. You’re speechless. That’s pretty smooth.

"You said something nice about me," he slurs in a sing-song voice, "Mike told me."

"Oh yeah? What did I say?"

Rodrick thinks hard. What was it again?

"Something about... spirits? And ice cream."

"Okay, buddy." You shush him, "Just take some deep breaths."

It’s kinda nice, just sitting with him in silence. The last bit of daylight is leaving, and everything is shrouded in a faint blue.

“I think I like you,” he says quietly, not looking at you.

“I think you’re drunk. Get back to me in an hour.”

“Can I like you in an hour?” He holds your leg a little tighter.

“Go nuts,” you chuckle.

You don’t move your leg, though.

You sit together until the set ends, and people start to file out onto the patio.

“You wanna go back in? Your friends are probably worried.” You bounce your leg a little to get his attention.

“Yeah. I have to pee so bad.”

Another trans-am’s wrapped itself around a telephone pole

“I ain't drunk, officer, I just fell getting out of my car.”

Don't worry about it, son. We were that way when we were young!

You've got all the skills to make a damn good business man!

Rodrick stares at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, breathing deep. He feels a lot better after some fresh air and the longest piss of his life.

A stall door opens, and a familiar face shows up next to his.

“Heffley? Shit, that really is you.”

Bryan Kent is a bonafide asshole with a football scholarship, who'd made Rodrick’s life a living hell back home. He really doesn't feel like reconnecting right now.

“Yep. It's me.”

Rodrick turns to leave, but Bryan blocks the door.

“You're not even gonna say hi, diner dork?”

“Fuck off, Bryan. I'm not in the mood.”

Bryan pushes him, and Rodrick feels all that old rage bubbling up. He's still a little wobbly on his feet.

“Did the cops ever catch you for what you did?” Bryan takes a step towards Rodrick. He feels all the blood leave his face.

“Actually, one of my buddies from back home just passed police academy. You wanna come back to our table and put in a little confession?”

“Fuck off,” he pushes Bryan back hard, sending him right into the door.

You're waiting outside the bathroom, and starting to get just a little worried. One of Rodrick’s bandmates- Ward, you're pretty sure- is still by their merch table.

“Hey,” you smile at him, “Rodrick went into the bathroom kind of a long time ago. He was pretty wrecked, and I'm starting to get worried. Could you…?”

Ward is around the table before you can even finish your sentence.

“Don't worry, I got him.”

As Ward opens the bathroom door, another guy walks out, laughing.

“What the fuck?” Ward yells.

You come up behind him and see Rodrick, lying on the floor, face bloody. Your mouth twists into a sneer. Fucking frat boys.

You march to the front of the bar, and lean in towards Jimbo’s ear.

“Him. Out.” You point at the offender, who's still flexing his busted knuckles like a jackass. Like it's something to show off.

“Had a feeling.” Jimbo sighs, standing up.

Rodrick’s head is pounding.

He opens his eyes to see Ward, looking devastated.

“Dude, what happened? Can you get up?”

“Fucking… Bryan Kent,” he coughs out.

Ward helps him to his feet and hands him a bundle of paper towels. Rodrick dabs at his bloody nose and lip in the mirror.

Of course. Of fucking course one of those assholes would show up tonight, of all nights.

He takes a few moments to just stand there and recover.

“That was fucked up.” Ward breaks the silence.

Rodrick just nods.

They emerge from the bathroom and there's what looks to be a full on brawl at the front of the bar. Rodrick sees you walking quickly towards him, eyes wide.

“Are you okay? Jeez, look at your lip.”

You bring your hand to his face and take a closer look. It doesn't look like he needs stitches or anything, but his bottom lip is swollen, with a dark line in the middle. Blood is quickly drying up in one of his nostrils.

Rodrick jumps a little, and suddenly feels a whole lot better under your gentle touch. He gets lost for a second, just looking down at your worried face.

“I shouldn't have let you in there alone, I'm so sorry.” You murmur.

He smiles, but a yell from up front brings him back to reality.

“It’s cool, I'm fine. What's going on up there?”

“Well, we asked your... acquaintance to leave, and he didn't want to. And he's got friends.”

“Should we go up and help?” Ward clenches his fist, smiling slightly.

Rodrick’s other bandmates have joined the circle.

“I'd stay out of it, they've got it.”

You all observe as Jimbo drags Bryan out the front door by his ear. A second drunken dickhead is yelling I'm a police officer! Get off me! as a second, equally huge guy hauls him off.

Rodrick notices Heather following them out, rolling her eyes.

“Are we all good?” Someone from the stage asks into a microphone.

Oh yeah, there's still a show going on.

You all shrug, and head into the crowd together.

You take Rodrick's hand again, and give it a little squeeze. He turns to look at you, and smiles.

"Are you really okay?" You yell over the music.

"I'm really okay." He squeezes your hand back.

"Promise?"

"Promise."

#sorry if this is too long lmao #im having fun #rodrick heffley #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick x reader #rodrick heffley fanfic #doawk rodrick #salad days #my stuff

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