#WDYM YOU CAN JUST FLY???? AWAY FROM ME??????

[borzoia]

Yes but also getting lost in the Vanaheim jungle for 3 real life hours was the worst thing I've experienced in my life.

Can we all agree alfheim is the worst realm

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[sadlynotthevoid]

If I had a nickel for everytime I dreamed that Lily was kidnapped and Og!Cale ran looking out for her, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice.

In the first one, Lily got kidnapped in the Capital and og!Cale instantly started running around, doing detective work but also really in panic. At some point he figured out who could have a hint on Lily's kidnapper, but the person in question was in the castle dungeons. So he went and straight entered in a room where Alberu was having a meeting with other nobles, not caring at all who was there, and asked him to sign a permission.

Og!Cale: *opens the door* Your Highness, sign this! *Slams form on the table*

Alberu, who wasn't expecting a random noble to crash his office: ...

The nobles: *shoked in victorian era* ...

Alberu: how did you got here?

Og!Cale: I flew through the third floor entry. It has my mom's name on it. More important, I'm in a hurry. So could you sign it already?

Alberu, confused as fuck because 'wdym by third floor entry? That's just a window': *reads the paper* permission to visit the dungeons? Why do—

Og!Cale, too worried to even keep his trash act and also practically a mind reader (not really): My sister was kidnapped and that guy may know where she could be. As I said, I'm in a hurry.

Alberu: That's terrible. *About to sign it* Is there any other way I can help?

Random noble: Excuse me?! Your Highness, this is not according to the protocol. I had to wait for months after my solicitude was sent to have this meeting. Why does he get a special treatment?!

Og!Cale, without paying an eye: Aren't you that Viscount that keeps wasting big sums on gifts for a mistress? *To Alberu* I guess he's asking money "for his territory". I bet he spent all his budget and is trying to hide it from his wife.

The noble: *pales* That— you— Your Highness, I can explain *faints*

Alberu: *sighs* I'll have someone investigate it. *Signs the form* Is there anything else I need to know?

Og!Cale, already exiting the room with the permission at hand: *tilts head* I've heard that people had been dissapearing in the Southwest region. *Narrows eyes* Huh. It's near the Gyerre territory now that I think about it.

Og!Cale: Anyways, goodbye. *Leaves*

Alberu, absentmindedly: So that's what father meant when he said redheads are "a crazy force of nature that could destroy a little country without force".

Antonio, who happened to be in the meeting: *silently having an existential crisis*

It turned out that the culprit was Og!Cale's past teacher (yes, that guy) who was working with traffickers. He wanted to see whether Og!Cale would resolve his "little game" or he would "lose" (have Lily sold before someone finds them). He also kinda hates her because "he lost his student by her fault" (no, it wasn't her fault. He's just crazy).

Og!Cale found out where Lily was being held and he, along with a pair of knights, went for her. All of them had a fun time beating the creepy bastard.

Then Og!Cale walked to their house carrying Lily on his arms.

In the second one, a monster-like creature broke into Lily's room, took her and flew away. Og!Cale was sitting on his bedroom's window and saw his little sister being taken away by a blurr of mass. He jumped out of the window to follow, of course. Then the knights saw a thing flying over their heads and the young master speedruning after it.

Og!Cale: Come back here!

Hillsman: Young master Cale?!

Og!Cale: What are you doing?! Stop that thing! It has Lily!

Knights: Ah! *Start chasing the thing too*

I don't know what happened next because I woke up.

[honey-on-your-tongue]

I live laugh love the jealous jake sully trope like wdym YOU WILL GLARE AND BE ALL >:(((

THIS IS TOO SWEET I CAN JUST IMAGINE THE POUTS AND THE JEALOUS LOOKS OMLLLL

You get that Jake is the Olo'eyktan, that his duty entails teaching the rest of the clan, leading them, helping them. And, normally, you don't have an issue with it. Whenever he teaches the little kids, trains them, you like to watch, smiling, as you imagine having a family with him someday.

But then, she shows up. Voma, a young na'vi woman with a pretty face, colorful beads in her hair, a confident swing in her hips and a knowing smile. She approaches Jake one day as he eats with you, and greets, “Jakesully.”

He glances up at her and nods in return. “Can I help you with something?”

“I wonder if you have enough time to help me train?” she questions, batting her eyelashes.

And Jake, being Toruk Macto, cannot deny. “Uh, sure,” he says, and she grins, thanking him before walking away. You keep your eyes on her, narrowed, before you glance at your mate. He looks nonchalant about it, as if it weren't absolutely obvious that she'd been flirting with him.

“Really?” you ask him, crossing your arms over your chest.

Jake looks up at you, confused. “What?”

“Jake, Voma is my age,” you point out. “She knows how to hunt, how to fly an ikran, how to shoot an arrow—she doesn't need training, she just wants to spend time around you.”

Jake stares at you before he folds his ears back. “Oh.”

You nod. “Exactly. So you can just tell her you got busy and can't train with her,” you say, shrugging.

And Jake detects the slightest hint of jealousy from you. He raises an eyebrow, intrigued, before testing the waters. “Well, I don't know about that,” he says. “I am the Olo'eyktan. It is my duty to help the clan with whatever they need.”

You turn to Jake, shocked, and ask, “You're really going to help her?”

Jake shrugs. “We're just gonna train, baby. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?”

You grit your teeth, folding your ears back before hissing, “No.”

“It's settled then,” Jake says.

“I suppose so,” you hum, glancing away from him, a frown on your eyebrows.

That was three weeks ago.

Tonight, there's a celebration in the clan. Everyone's dancing, music's being played on wooden instruments, and the people sing. You sit beside Jake, still a little resentful due to the fact that he's been training with Voma two times a week these last three weeks. And Jake's begging you to dance.

“Come on, baby,” he insists, a hand trailing up your arm. “Just one dance, hm?”

“Why don't you dance with Voma, huh?” you return, childish, arms crossed.

“Baby,” he coos, chuckling softly. “You're not still upset about that?”

“And what if I am?” you snap. “I've every right to be upset still.”

Jake sighs softly, about to apologize, about to admit to having done it just to tease you, when someone walks up to him.

Voma.

Jake curses in his head. He's kept his distance from her. Whenever he trains with her, he ignores her flirtatious comments, makes it clear he's not interested. When she coquettishly touches his arm, he pulls away from her. When she gets too close, he'll voice, “Personal space, please.” And yet, she persists.

“Jakesully,” she greets, smiling. “Would you like to dance?”

He purses his lips, about to deny, when you speak up. “Oh, he'd love to,” you say, voice laced with poison.

Voma glances at you, looking annoyed at your presence, but Jake has no choice but to rise. “I'll dance with you,” he tells Voma flatly, throwing you a soft look that wordlessly begs you to get over it, before walking off with her.

You watch from afar, enraged, glaring at the way Voma grabs his hands, the way she dances with him, the way she smiles and looks at him.

You huff, upset, glancing around the room when Alzue, a friend of yours, approaches. He greets you, signing, I See you, before asking, “Would you like to dance with me?”

You're going to politely decline when you realize, hey, why not? Jake's off dancing with some girl. Why can't I dance with a friend of mine?

You nod, allowing him to grab your hand in his and he leads you to the center of the room. You dance, shyly at first, then more confident, as Alzue talks with you, joking, making you smile and laugh.

Jake hears your laughter across the room. He glances around, looking for you, just about ignoring Voma as she dances before him. And then he finds you. Dancing with some guy. Jake feels his heart race in his chest, adrenaline pumping through his body, possessiveness and jealousy filling him to the brim.

“I gotta go,” he says to Voma, leaving her on the dance floor as he makes his way towards you.

You don't see Jake approaching. You're not aware of his presence until Alzue glances over your shoulder and his eyes grow wide, ears folding back. You turn around and find Jake, his eyes darkened with lust, pupils blown wide.

“I need you to myself,” Jake tells you, grabbing your wrist. “Now.”

His voice leaves no room for opposition. You wave goodbye to Alzue before Jake drags you off, out of the Hometree and deep into the forest.

The plants glow as you walk past them, the floor shining with your every step. Jake's skin is alight with the bioluminescent freckles that decorate his body, and you can see his shoulders rising and falling with his heavy breaths.

He takes you to a private, secluded opening in the forest, and then he turns around to face you.

“What are you doing?” he snarls, his anger getting the best of him.

You cross your arms as you frown and demand, “What do you mean?”

“You refuse to dance with me but you'll dance with some other guy?” he growls, ears folding back.

You scoff. “Oh, so when you do it, there's no issue, but when I do it, there's a problem?”

Jake frowns. “What are you talking about? You were the one who pushed me to dance with Voma.”

“Just because you agreed to train with her even though you know it's only because she's flirting with you!” you snap, your ears folding back.

At this, Jake chuckles softly, pinching the bride of his nose. “I'm a skxawng,” he says. Then, locking his eyes on yours, he says, “Baby, I only agreed to train her because I thought it was adorable how jealous you got.”

You make a face. “What?”

He laughs quietly. “That look on your face—your furrowed eyebrows and your pretty little pouts...that was the reason I agreed to help her.”

You glare at him. “Are you fucking serious?”

Jake laughs. “I am.”

You sigh, releasing the tension and the anger that have been consuming you the past three weeks. “Skxawng,” you accuse, smacking him on the head.

He gives you a guilty look. “I took it too far, didn't I?”

“Way too far,” you return, crossing your arms again, giving him a small frown an a pout that tell him you want to be spoiled.

Jake smiles softly, his heart warming at the sight of your playful anger, and he wraps his arms around you. “I'm sorry, baby,” he says, kissing your mouth, your jaw, your neck. “I was an idiot. I'm sorry, girl.”

You refuse to cave, your arms still crossed as he hugs and kisses you, insisting, “Baby, 'm sorry. So sorry, my girl.”

“Not enough,” you tell him, huffing, and Jake chuckles, lowering himself to the floor, on his knees.

He kisses your thighs, his eyes predatory as he glances up at you. “If I eat you out, will you forgive me?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Try it, and I'll decide afterwards.”

He smiles up at you, placing a gentle kiss on your thigh, his hands grabbing onto your hips and kneading into your flesh. He unties your loincloth and sets it aside, pressing his nose to your pussy and inhaling your sweet scent.

You jerk at the sensation, shivering, and Jake smirks. “I'm sorry,” he repeats, pouting up at you, before he licks between your folds. “I won't do that ever again.”

“Yeah, y'better not,” you grumble in response, your hands falling to his head and tangling in his hair.

Jake chuckles, slowly swiping his tongue over your clit, then dragging it down to your entrance. He licks the arousal that dribbles out, his cock growing hard at the taste of you.

He buries his face into your pussy, nuzzling his nose into your clit, his mouth sucking on your moistening folds.

You whine softly, hips grinding against his mouth, and you bite your lower lip, hoping to keep quiet.

When Jake sees this, he pulls away from your cunt and says, “Let me hear you, baby. Let everyone hear that you're mine.”

And how can you say no when he puts it like that?

So you allow your mouth to fall agape, gasping and mewling as Jake's tongue traces circles across your entrance before sliding inside you, tasting the soft flesh of your gummy walls.

Jake lifts his eyes to watch you, his amber eyes gazing at you through his eyelashes. Your head is thrown back, throat exposed, breasts heaving up and down. You dig your hands into Jake's head, guiding his movements, and he lets you. He'll eat you out however you want him to; he's apologizing to you, using his mouth but not to speak.

You pull his head higher up so his tongue rubs over your clit, and he sucks on the throbbing nub. You squeal softly, delighted, as pleasure bursts through you. “There! Right there!” you whine, hips grinding against Jake's tongue.

One of his hands slides up your thigh and pushes his middle finger inside you, all the way to the knuckle. You sigh gently, humming in approval, and Jake can feel you're wet and open enough for him to add another finger. So he does. He uses both his middle and ring fingers to scissor you open before he begins thrusting them in and out, curling them up to press against that cushioned spot within you that makes you jerk.

The pleasure slowly begins gathering within you, invading your senses, filling your veins like liquid fire. It makes your mind go blank, and you forget why you were ever upset at Jake in the first place.

“'s good,” you moan, hips rubbing against his hand and his tongue, your slick coating over his hand and most of his face. “'s really good.”

Good enough for her to forgive me, I hope, Jake thinks to himself, increasing his pace, making you shudder.

“Fuck! Jake, don't stop!” you beg, legs starting to tremble as the pleasure amasses in your womb, making your eyes roll into the back of your head, your back arching. “Please, don't stop!”

Obviously, he doesn't plan on stopping. He continues rubbing your g-spot, keeps flicking his tongue on your clit and occasionally sucking on it. He likes the way you pull his hair, the way you're torn between pulling him away from and pulling him closer to your pussy. Like you can't decide if the pleasure is too much or if you want to come.

But Jake's hand holds onto your hip, making the decision for you, and then you're crumbling over the edge, stuttering as you fall from your high. Your orgasm is hot and intense, shaking your body, making you cry out, “Fuck! Fuck, Jake!”

And Jake hopes every single Na'vi on the planet heard that. He wants it made clear to everyone that you're his.

As you come down from your high, Jake pulls his fingers out of you and licks them clean. Then, he sits back, pulling you onto his lap and cradling you against his body.

“You are forgiven,” you tell Jake as you slump your head on his shoulder.

Jake chuckles softly, rubbing your back, kissing your temple. “Thank you,” he says.

“Skxawng,” you accuse, playful, before adding, “And tell Voma that you can't help her anymore.”

“I definitely will,” Jake replies. “I'll tell her I have the best mate in the whole universe, and no one could ever compare to my baby.” He kisses your forehead.

You sigh softly, kissing his shoulder. “I love you, Jake.”

“I love you, girl,” he responds. “So much. And no matter how jealous you ever get, just know I'm forever yours.”

-----

Blog masterlist

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hey, It’s me, and here’s the request I made but with a bit more info.

ya know that crackfic where Lost Silver!Gold get flung into the ceiling by the reader? Well, I wanna see more of this reader and what their personality is like and how they’d interact with the other Poképasta trainers. I’d like think that the reader would be a bit crackhead-ish.

I’d also imagine that the reader mostly uses fighting types and knows and is friends with the mainline FNF cast.

their ace Pokémon would be an Annihilape that would be like “yep, same s**t as always” whenever the reader is up to their crazy shenanigans.

Oh I'm glad you liked that one! I imagine that in the pokeworld, these "creepypastas" existed as mere ghost stories (yes even the haunted bootleg/old pkmn games exist in this universe) but Reader finds out the people in them are real.

Soooo enjoy some crack hcs!

........

Steven

One day you approached Steven while he was waiting in the tower for the next poor soul to challenge him, demanding a fight while pointing to Miki.

You had plenty of guts, and zero fear.

"You, Legendary Pokémon Champion Steven, will fight me and Annihilape right now."

"....who are you?"

"Fight us."

"Wait, aren't you the one who threw Gold onto the ceiling-?"

"YOU'LL BE NEXT IF YOU DON'T FIGHT US!!!!"

That threat's enough to make him finally start the battle, but while you and your Pokémon gave it your all...Steven eventually won and was about to send your soul to the depths below as the loser's punishment-

But your Annihilape suddenly bounced back to life and you commanded it to use Seismic Toss on Miki.

"That's not going to work." He taunted. "She's untouchable-"

Somehow they could use the move on her, sending her crashing on top of Steven and instantly knocking both of them out.

You smiled proudly and fistbumped Annihilape, before you both got the hell out of that creepy tower.

Somewhere in the afterlife, Mike's laughing his ass off.

Glitchy Red

You somehow got into his game, meeting him in Glitch City just because you wanted to see him face-to-face. Steven told you he was a nice guy so you figured you'll pay him a visit.

"Yo, are you the infamous Glitchy Red?"

"...Red is fine. And how the hell did you get in here? And why does your Primeape look like that?"

"No time for that. Can we have your autograph?"

"Wait...if you were able to get in here, that means you can get out, too." He suddenly realizes, grinning sinisterly. "You can help me get out, right?"

"Nuh-uh."

"....fuck do you mean, "nuh-uh"?!"

"Not without an autograph first."

At this point he's 101% fed-up and tries to attack you, but you tell Annihilape to use Seismic Toss on him.

You watch him fly up to the "sky" before he just glitches into whatever invisible barrier's up there.

He doesn't come back, so you two just leave.

Your ghost/fighting type just shakes their head as you huff about never getting that autograph you wanted.

"Hilape, ape."

"Wdym I "overreacted"??"

Grey (+ Shinto)

You were just sparring with your fighting type team during one sunny afternoon....when you heard a boy's screaming off in the distance, slowly growing closer and closer.

Then you see him running towards you, looking back at whatever was chasing him and ignoring the fact he would've crashed right into you--

If not for your Hitmonlee sticking out their leg to trip him, sending him faceplanting into the dirt.

Immediately you recognized him as the guy from that bootleg Pokémon game everybody's been talking about and helped him up.

"What the hell are you running from, Grey? Is Shinto up to her usual shit?"

"Y-Yeah! She's....wait, how do you know who I am??" He stares at you, petrified.

"Who doesn't?" You rolled your eyes. "You're famous, kid."

Grey would've been more flattered if not for Shitno scurrying over to you on all fours.

He screamed again and hid behind your back, blubbering about not knowing why she was angry this time.

However, Annihilape already knows the drill by now---and Seismic Tosses her as far away as possible.

Grey's in disbelief.

"Thanks, but..i-isn't Seismic Toss supposed to throw your opponent towards the ground???"

"Well, we're not in a battle so Annihilape can do whatever the hell they want." You shrugged with a smile.

[domoriu]

Bye did you see how some ot6 briize are saying how they are gonna fly to the united states to jump ot7 briize😭 have we lost the fucking plot I’m literally genuinely absolutely so fucking sick and tired of the ugly weak ass hoes that literally will never have a chance with these men period maybe kpop is not for me idk dawg but I’m so close to jumping🙏🏿🔥🔥🔥💯🔥💯🔥💯🔥

i heard that the ot6 wanna fly to the us to basically crash mama and hand out ot6 flyers or whatever and everyone is saying how that shit will not fly over here which is true but who knows 😭😭 the ot6 in korea scary as fuck tho cuz wdym u walked past the protests outside sm saying riize is 6 then ran away cuz u didn’t want to get confronted ? like if u wanna talk shit say it w your chest !

tbh this whole situation really sucks and i can see it making people stray away from kpop as a whole and i haven’t really been into kpop musically for a bit (my kpop playlist has been getting the least amount of plays these days and the only kpop ill listen to is nct 😭) but honestly its not necessarily bc of this i just have phases of liking other music more rn im back in my emo era so that playlist is getting ran to the ground. and i really only keep up with nct and bnd content wise lately and by keeping up w them is being on twitter and tiktok

i wish i could completely detach from kpop but unfortunately its one of my biggest special interests so i just cant escape it 👹 even when i had my year long fuck kpop era a few years ago i wasnt even 100% detached from it but do what you gotta do cuz once smth isnt fun anymore its quickly miserable and ruins your mood and you gotta detach for your own sanity 🙏🏽🙏🏽

[moonglide]

echoes of wisdom hours 12 & 13

-spoilers for end of the hyrule castle quest and for the goron quest, up until the dungeon.

-i fought ganon. i died to magic tennis. again. that's 9.

-realized that to survive magic tennis, i needed to go far away from ganon to have enough reaction time.

-i beat ganon! echo ganon, i guess.

-tri, you say that our opponent must have the echo power? gosh! who'd've thunk it? t'weren't like i suggested that or something.

-as we ascend to leave the wall BREAKS. i was scared. i did not want another boss fight.

-link comes out to save us with a baseball bat????

-oh he gets crystalled. nooooo

-the shadowy figure with claws is kinda creepy. it's probably that (endgame spoilers, probably) null guy people keep mentioning.

-god i love how supportive the king is. botw zelda would've killed for that kind of praise.

-love how i go back and i'm like whelp. time to sleep.

-wait can i echo my own bed??? I can!!! and it heals two hearts!!! i forgot to mention when i got the gerudo bed, but it was so useful. and now this is more useful!

-kitty!!! hello almond. how was being abducted into the shadow realm?

-throne room.

-hold up. rift in eldin volcano, sure. rift in faron wetlands, sure. rift in holy mount lanayru??? excuse me? where is that. there is only so much room on the map for a big-ass mountain.

-oh it's the region i thought was hebra. ok.

-prime energy? excuse me? just call it the triforce like a normal person.

-hi impa! what quest do you have for me?

-the pretty white horse is MY horse??? sweet! thank u impa.

-teleported to the ranch. horse is missing. can't find it. someone please tell me where the horse is. are they hiding the horse? will the ranch hands give it back if i apologize for making fun of them for their horse-finding skills?

-whatever.

-where to go first? I don't want to go to lanayru, because, you know. it's holy. it's wisdom. it's cold. it's definately meant to be last.

-i think i want to do eldin first because the gorons seem like the least serious. fun little volcano excursion instead of tangling with wood spirits in the mystical forest.

-kakariko! man is missing his cat. i get the cat outfit! it's fun.

-honestly i like the disguise more than the gear the king gave me.

-also since im in kakariko, let me talk about the slumber dojo real quick. i checked on ao3 for echoes of wisdom fics. guess what the one with the most kudos is. guess what. it's the slumber dojo guy banging zelda while she's sleeping. come on guys. i'm a lil disappointed but i'm not at all surprised.

edit: ok so it ain't anymore. but it was yesterday.

-found a fairy flower! how fun

-speaking of fairies, time to become more s t y l i s h

-damn you expect me to expand my accessory limit? in this economy? inflation is crazy. she jacked up her price by 3x. i still did it tho.

-business shrub! i made like ten smoothies.

-i finally made an unappealing one. it's two rocks. i understand that. but why does two sticks of butter make a radiant smoothie? that's not radiant. that's just gross.

-completed a small rift before i got to goron city. was i supposed to? idk. it never came up.

-oh dalton (or whatever his name is) is sweet. bro needs a confidance boost.

-went to the rock roast first. it was quick.

-lizalfos second. can't believe dalton's a nerd. i love it

-i was gonna use the echo that pushes out in all directions, but instead i sent out a redead and a tornando. it worked.

-sorry for destroying your dead dad's portrait. my b.

-ohhh i fly by grabbing the bird. that makes sense. i thought riding echoes would be something i needed to unlock.

-dalton how did you get here. you can't fly. i don't understand.

-bro is like 'according to my calculations' but my dude. you are just punching a rock. it is not that complicated.

-for a second i thought nugget of wisdom 52 was just 'HYAHHHHH!' and i cackled because that's just so goron. but apparently the shout was just a little interuption before the actual nugget. sad.

-tri wdym the limit is two. where did that come from.

-also i totally died again at one point. i don't remember what it was, but i remember i died. so that's 10.

-fave echo: ignacio or albatrawl.

-death count: 10.

[glasswingowl]

ep 7 spoilers under the cut

oooo snazzy new intro! love it

the fucking for rent banner lmao

OH

NORI MOMENT INCOMING

THE FUCKING SHADOW CLAWS SICK AS HELL

"get 048" awww friends :3

THEY KEEP THEM IN LOCKERS??

uh where did the sentinels go

oh you are so dead dude

OH THIS IS SO COOL

potential nori moment??? that's gotta be nori right??

hehehe crab

n instantly trying to go back for v ;-;

uzi ;-;

"robots like boxes, right?" tessa. bro. not cool.

oh SHIT

bonk

THAD AND LIZZY THAD AND LIZZY THAD AND LIZZY BELIEVERS WIN

v????

"i deserve this" n sweetie no!!!

oh not this again

AAAA-

THE FUCKING POSTERS-

????

OH. IT WAS THEM. THEY DESTROYED EARTH.

wait why didn't tessa mention this earlier? seems kind of important, no?

homegirls been taking flying lessons! good for her!

FUCKING NIGHTCORE????

oh here it comes. time to meet mama, uzi

:O

"you look familiar" uhhh. that's not a good thing

"I'm looking for a hunk named Khan" CONFIRMED NORI EVERYONE STAY CALM

"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY DAUGHTER" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

oh it's just j. disappointing.

forgot how much i loved lizzy

Khan??

"MY WIFE"

"having interests beyond cannibalism and NIGHTCORE-"

i take back everything bad i ever said about khan he is the best

oh hey tessa's alive- what the fuck is she doing

SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO ARE ALIVE

wait wdym you don't know??

"not sure it needs you, buddy" what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

FNAF JUMPSCARE

YEVAAAAAAA

i'm choosing to believe that yeva is mute until proven otherwise

hand cutting again!! (is that meant to be a parallel to n and uzi? because if so...)

aww- o shit. well that explains that

I love nori. so much

poor doll.

y'know when everyone was coming up with predictions for nori's personality, i don't think anyone really guessed "AN EXACT COPY OF HER DAUGHTER" she even tells people to bite her!

i'm too lazy to copy the get a job stay away from her image just pretend it's here again

OH. OH HE JUST FKICING. well that's one way of picking a side

;-;- oh this is the hand scene wait no

SHIT

"your backups will forgive me" oh so he's just a plaything to her just like he was to tessa. man he just CANNOT catch a break can he

NORIIIIIII!

"you're frickin grounded" nori ma'am i love you

oh this is SICK AS HELL

slap

I HAVE TOO MANY THINGS TO DAY ABOUT THIS FIGHT SO IM JUST GONNA SCREAM AAAAAAA

THE CAMERA CIRCLING AROUND A CHARACTER DEFENDING THEMSELVES FROM PROJECTILES/ENEMIES IS ALWAYS COOL I DON'T CARE HOW MANY TIME I SEE IT

N-

N YOU FUCKIN DUMBASS

solvers hate her! free you daughter from possession by forcing her to confront her relationship with her sort-of boyfriend!

THE FUCKING DELIVERY ON THIS SCENE IM DYING

oh ;-;

wait. WAIT WHAT

OH GOD OH FUCK. YOU GUYS WERE RIGHT.

Y'ALL AREN'T ALLOWED TO LAUGH AT ME FOR MIXING UP TESSA AND CYN THAT ONE TIME ANYMORE.

i can't tell if this is an effective compromise for the whole "wanting to see what tessa looks like vs no visible human characters" debate

still, sick as hell, and very on brand for liam vickers.

OH SHIT-

LMAOOOO-

WHAT THIS? BY GOD, IT'S KHAN, LIZZY AND THAD WITH THE STEEL CHAIRS!

"prior hazard" yeah you'd know wouldn't you

MYSTERY FLESH PIT

OH THIS. THIS FUCKING SCENE

uh.

OH. OH. THIS IS A HALLUCINATION RIGHT-

AND IT ENDS THERE????

[midnightmah07]

Last rb made me remember how when I read Ruggie's Broomquet vignette I felt stabbed in the back bc Ruggie said he wasn't that great in flight magic

Like what. Wdym u can just do fun tricks and all that bc of your experience running away from people. Wdym you can't fly steadily. Wdym.

[cauli-flawa]

Thread from an SMS Forum

Anon: i think i just discovered a new species

Anon: FREAK SPOTTED? Anon: oh sweet. like a bug?

Anon: no

Anon: i think i just found a new age platypus

Anon: wdym??? tell us

Anon: so basically they're a lupine/canine/secret third option thing with wings and this giant ass tail. not sure if they can fly with such a big ass tail, I'll have to figure that out sometime.

Anon: their blood is bright blue, and their eyes are normally yellow with red irises but currently their eyes are REALLY bloodshot.

Anon: they have no fur or hair on their body, but they have fur on their head (like hair) and some tufts on the tip of their tail. they resemble an astral.

Anon: they have lowish blood pressure and for some reason they barely need to breathe like at all. like once every 30 minutes. their species originates from high altitude mountains.

Anon: they have clawed hands with padded palms. they're a pretty good climber and i think they could be very athletic/tough if not for the fact that right now they're really tired like all the time.

Anon: They have very sharp teeth too, might be carnivorous. I'll test that out once they're able to eat. They seem to be pretty sick right now but I don't know why

Anon: Can't really tell what their gender is. seem to be a mix of both.

Anon: HUH Anon: A FUCKING ASTRAL???? Anon: I WAS EXPECTING A FUCKING BUG OR SOME SHIT WHAT Anon: luckkyyyyyy Anon: that sounds like a Creature to me Anon: PICTURES!! SHOW US PICTURES!!!!! Anon: oh, they're sick? oh nooo ): Anon: do you know whats wrong with them?

Anon: I don't know, but I did take some blood samples so I might analyze them later and return with the results

Anon: ooh what if its a species-specific disease Anon: i hope not Anon: id rather not get platypus rabies Anon: maybe its the environment?

Anon: I'm trying to bring them back to their natural habitat now, but they came from very far away so it'll take a while.

Anon: thats so sweet! Anon: this species sounds awesome tho. imagine having a big ol mountain wolf astral with wings and a tail. middle school me would've loved that Anon: you need to like write an article abt this or something!!! incredible discovery!!!

Anon: I'd like to find more members of their species someday soon. they are very interesting so far. unfortunately they're on edge and they don't like tests too much, so i won't be taking any samples for now.

Anon: you said theyre astral-shaped right? are they also sentient? Anon: what if theyre an ancestor? or a similar species?

Anon: I'll keep studying them while they're still here, this could be a huge discovery

Anon: Will you show up photos pretty please

Anon: I'm busy at the moment so no.

Anon: ):

@zombiecicada

[stunie]

Aahh I hope I didn't miss your matchups!!

So a bit about me: I'm pretty extroverted!! But tbh my extrovertedness usually gets increased when I'm with friends! I love love love dressing up all cute and pink, also absolutely adore kitties and binge watching shows/anime ((love me anything that has like a million episodes!)) Outfit coordinating is such a hobby too!! Like I get all giddy just thinking abt mix n matching clothing 🤧 jewelry is a must with my fits.. the coordinating saga continues.. I'm kind of a night owl && I love binge watching at midnight 🤭 my fav genres are definitely psychological thrillers/ psychological horrors.. I always force myself to watch those creepy anime/movies, just to end up awake in bed trying to figure out whether that jacket of mine really is a jacket or a silhouette of something 😭

anyway one thing I hate, like absolutely detest are insects... like wdym it has 1000 legs and can fly????

(Aahh I'm really excited to see who you match me up with!!) ♡

HI ANON you are the cutest human alive i wanna come hug you right now actually. if you have thriller / horror recs you should stop by my inbox again btw !!! <3 ANYWAYS. IM THINKING.

the pink . couple . he’s pink and you’re dressed in pink and anytime the two of you go out with friends, they use you two to regroup. “meet up in 30 minutes?” “where?” “wherever those two are.” HSJSND THAT WOULD BE SO CUTE HELLO. i think he would be great at helping you coordinate …. whether it’s just a little suggestion / idea -> “oh. this would look good with the ___, don’t you think?” OR he’s actually buying you something “wanna see what i found on my way home? i thought of you right away.~” AAAA 🥺🥺 and he’s so gentle with you when you’re a little on edge from the thrillers lol, gentle rubs to calm your nerves and his voice is so soothing ….

[andrew-minyard-my-love]

Title: Shhh…they can hear you

Chapter 1

“Dad I don’t think it’s that big of a deal”Liliana says as she sets the table “Its a big deal for me and besides you don’t see your brother trying to get on a plane and fly away.”Neil says

Levi looks up from his phone and shoots a look of amusement as he sees Liliana’s face of annoyance. Just then Andrew walks in the door “Hey my little skeleton family.” “Hey Drew welcome home” Neil says while suturing a pot of sauce ”Hey dad” Levi says without looking up from his phone “Hey Lev’s” Andrew says while fixing Levi’s hair his gases eventually falls to Liliana who was putting food in the cat’s food bowl “What’s with the silent treatment?” Andrew asked “Ask your husband” Liliana snapped back “No need for the tude” Andrew said as he switched his focus to Neil “Birdie what happened?” Neil walked up to Andrew like as if he had asked how to build a rocket ship he huffed and said “She wants to go play Exy in palmetto” “Okay?” Andrew said as if it wasn’t important “Wdym “Okay?” She wants to fly millions of miles away to play Exy!” “I don’t see the issue we did the same thing, did we not?” Andrew said in a way that Neil knew he wasn’t going to convince Andrew otherwise “Yes but-“ Neil tried to say but got cut of by the stove going off for the garlic bread “Okay soo am I going?” “Depending on who you going with” Andrew says with a smile “I think yk who I’m going with dad” she says with a joking eye roll “oh do I?” Andrew says with a smile “Okay,okay I’m going with Ricky,James,Mable,Penny,Charlie and Sofie.” Levi rolled his eyes at the thought of even liking Exy Liliana noticed and grinned and said “Annnd Levi!” Levi looked up from his phone screen as if his whole world had crashed down “WHAT???” He got out after what felt like forever “Yep if I’m going to go somewhere miles and miles away then I’ll need my brother,now won’t I?” Liliana said with an evil grin “True “ Andrew said “DAD YOU’RE NOT GOING TO ACTUALLY LET HER MAKE ME GO!?” Levi gassed at Neil “sry bud my hands are tied plus you need to get out more” his gassed soften “but for now let’s eat” Neil said trying to change the topic and the occasional awkwardness that came with it.

P.s I’m working on chapter 2/3 so coming soon!!!!!!!

-so bye-bye FOXIES🧡🦊

[franzleitmayr]

Tatort live reaction by me and my best denglisch :D

How does Thorsten look so young

Maybe it's the light

Oh oh someone's dead

Oh hi Sebastian

Also looking young

Oh just a head

How does Thorsten look so young

Maybe it's the light

Oh oh someone's dead

Oh just a head

Lots of Schnellkochtöpfe

Oh wilder Mann

Like the Tatort Game

Thorsten is im Alleingang

No wan

Woah they still have the same Präsidium since the first episode

All sounding young too

Concerned Sebastian

Blaulicht ;Love that for them

Lmao they're moving their asses real weird

That chair had a face istg

I feel like they're sarcastic noW

Sebastian is so annoyed

Wilder Mann again

Ew old ass

Why put your clothes in the trash 💀

Oh Thorstens Auto

Bisexual light as Sebastian enters the room

More bisexual light

Bubbles ouhhh

Husband behaviour

Lmao

What's happening

Also very cool bubbles Thorsten

More bisexual light

Now lesbian light

Talking about murder with a high Thorsten must be very annoying

"Drogen sind illegal" maybe you should have thought about that before getting high

Funny sound Thorsten

Bisexual light

“My mom” jokes

*intimate touching *

Oh no Thorsten us running away

Sebastian tsktsktsk

Lmao

"Ich würde dich doch nie anlügen..." sureeee

Wir zwei

"ICH LIEBE DICH" is this canon now

This escalated quickly

New Hupe unlocked

Wdym he's in life threatening danger MAYBE

WDYM THIS MIGHT BE HIS LAST NIGHT

murder mom?

Lmao this dude

what a nice family activity ;Drug dealing at night 💪

They just keep reaching new stages of queerbaiting

Oh oh the big deal I suppose

Taiwanisch 🤔

Er kann das nicht !

He looks like Mario

Woah there's this guy from the Tatort game the whole time

Now this seems dangerous/j

That suit is ugly

Small talk before drug dealing 😌

Nee gekühlt werden muss nicht

Why would you freeze drugs

Adé 👋

You are what you miet?

What's that supposed to mean

Lmao Thorsten

"Er ist ein Vogel, er kann fliegen"

Sure

Thorsten is very good at hiding

Schnellkochtöpfe as i Said

Außerirdische killertöpfe are very dangerous indeed. You should never underestimate it

Them*

Two men touching 🤯

And betraying each other afterwards 💪

What a nice Schnellkochtopf

Thorsten is such a funny guy

More bisexual lighting

Ugly-suit-man again

Mario stop looking out of the window like a

dog

*Thorsten still without shoes*

He's so small Imao

Oh oh oh illegal stones

Gratis Schnellkochtöpfe

Only in Stuttgart

Tsktsktsk da darf man nicht parken Herr

Bootz 🙄

*thorsten struggling to get dressed* mood though

Thorsten has fun with glass

I bet it's from the lady from the beginning

Oh oh oh gayness again

Criminal women

Why is his suit the same colour as his skin

Ah yes Dani

Oh ig Thorsten loves everyone noW

"Für dich immer" Imao

Yeah drinking is important

Water ofc though

Ich bin auch nicht tot Thorsten

I guess he really CAN fly

Nasen joke

No nasen shaming here

Bisexual light

I think the drugs make you bisexual

Stop chewing on your gum like that

Woah guns

Don't kill those poopies though

Oh diner *french accent*

Peeing together as a bonding activity 💪

What a nice jukebox

don't dance with the jukebox like that

Thorsten

*sebastian is flustered*

Sebastian matches the vibe of Thorstens car

Okay overprotective Thorsten

Don't touch that Thorsten

Woah so many bad guys

What in the world

LmaO

Thorsten

Why did you knock him out

Only cool cars somehow this episode

LmaO

Sebastian is so annoyed it's so funny

Oh no sad

Sehr gut Sebastian

Sehr gut Thorsten

Wir rocken das 💪

Oh no family drama

Very healthy

What is she doing with her hand

Is she a magician

Lmao

I feel like this is a very silly episode

Thorsten is more worried about his car than about Sebastian

Damn Dani just wants his sleep

LmaO

Don't go outside your car the moment you hear gun shots

That's so stupid

Woah more memories unlocked

They're calling each other pet names secretly istg

Why in the world would Thorsten verarsch you Sebastian

Du hast einfach keine Eier 🤧

Lmao did he got shot in his non existent balls now 🤨

Wow Thorsten richtig erwachsen von dir

Still a bit silly

Woah serious moments again

Lmao this Mario guy

What is she talking about

This dude is am Ende

What in the world are they doing

Lmao

Woah those scenes make it seem like a crime film

Thorsten is so smart

Oh dangerous Mario

Lmao they're locked in a cell for tigers now

Bro you're making it worse

This ugly suit man is ugly on the inside too mao

Lmao Thorsten why so dramatic

Oh oh there's a tiger in there

Sebastian is a tiger whisperer ig

Lmao the murder mom

Beate

I don't understand this accent

Beate 🤯

Lmao they're in the wrong cage

The tiger looks quite nice

like to cuddle it :(

I love cute cats

Woah the mom with a plan

The tiger seems to enjoy it there

What's he doing with tiger cock

Don't buy tigers on eBay kids

Oh oh oh some key or something lying around

Go Thorsten

Did Mario plot this all

Ah no he didn't

Lmao

What in the world

Oh no poor Mario is traumatised

Who shot

Oh I suppose it was joe

Oh she's there too

Woah plot twist

And another one

Lmao they're all so silly

Joe is unconscious again Imao

Get the bad guys

Guter Plan Herr Kommissar

Oder auch nicht

Who are you hiding from Thorsten

This is so cliché

Thorsten is still silly goofy Imao

Bro that sounded wrong

I love how everyone is so concerned

Menschen Kralle 💀

Der wilde Mann is so damn weird

Stop screaming like that bro

Lmao

I suppose that is a win indeed

Good for the tiger

Omg those guys

Why doesn't he ever change his clothes

Lmao it's all so sikky

Naw

this was real fun

I’m sorry for everyone reading this 🥲💀

[onlyjaeyun]

alright now WHAT THE FUCK? so much shit just happened i need a moment to unpack everything. okay so first of all fashion icon yn ☝️ jay is so proud of u bby. second of all yn is gONNA CO-COACH WITH SUNGHOON? 😨😨 so much stuff is happening i feel like im about to forget smth important from the new chap again but YOOOOO WHY IS SUNGHOON SO SASSY 😭 the sassy men apocalypse is so real 🤕 but pookie calm down pls he keeps eating yn up if i had someone pointing out my daddy issues like that i would straight up cry. ngl if i were in yn’s place i would’ve blocked from the first “what the FUCK” but that’s just me personally 😶 ANYWHO jaemin what the FUCK 😨😨😨 i’m actually so like ?!?!?! he’s so cheating he’s literally actually deadass wallahi fr fr cheating ??????????? like the fucking audacity that some male species have is actually jaw dropping. how r u gonna get all insecure about yn being surrounded by her friends who r practically like her brothers and go “i don’t feel comfortable around them” like WHAT 😨 the self projection is sO REAL. and bby. yn, my love. my angel. my everything. dump his ass i’m begging you. EVEN IF YOU TRULY BELIEVE that u can’t find anyone better and you won’t be able to find anyone after someone as shitty as CH jaems (which u for sure will!!) it’s so much better to be single rather than be with someone who literally does not give a singular flying fuck about you. like girl protect your dignity 🤕🤕 break up with his ass even if he’s the last bf you’ll ever have it’s better than being with someone who’s CHEATING. anywho now that that’s out of the way, really jaemin. jakyung??? REALLY???? ngl the whole hoon & jakyung convo really made me almost throw up the whole time “i can’t study when im tense like this” please do me a favour and suck my dick ew i gen can’t. also WDYM THEYRE GONNA FUCK SO MUCH SOONER THAN ANY OF UR SMAUS? 😨 mamas pls calm down i am not prepared for a hate fucking between yn & hoon (i am. im playing im so seated for it.)

anywho my rant for chap.4 is done and i just wanted to say congratulations zadie !!! you know u ate that smau up SO WELL (especially when it’s supposed to be e2l and the characters are supposed to be hated for character development purposes) when you get anons in ur inbox hating on your work 🥰 like u fr made it and i’m so proud of you ! anyways CH ate. easily one of the best enha smaus in the making with your amazing writing & plot development sending u so much love zadie & so many hugs & kisses i can’t wait to see u piss more ppl off and i can’t wait to see the new CH chapters <333

(no but like genuinely is it that hard to SCROLL AWAY from smth that doesn’t please you? 💀 i don’t get it cuz i’ve seen works that i personally didn’t like yet i never felt the need to go in their inbox and be like “ur shit is so unlikeable dawg what the fuck” because what??? wasting my time like that when i could be searching for a diff fic that i could actually like.

like hello people have different tastes. there might be smth that u don’t like (that one anon) that a different person would gladly eat up (me basically) and there’s absolutely no reason to shit/hate on other people’s works/tastes. ESPECIALLY on tumblr. an app where u get to read literally top quality work for FREE.

and i’m sure so many writers are open for feedback as long as it’s NICE. you can very easily send feedback about a shitty work WHILE appreciating the writer’s effort and hard work spent on it even if the end result didn’t satisfy you. but to straight up go “ur shit is unlikable” IS CRAZY FOR ME 💀💀💀 like pls go into ur notes app or go into ur drafts and write shit that’s “likeable” for u instead of hating on miss zadie 🙏🏼 anywho im sorry this became so long but that was so unnecessary like anon grow up pls you’re better than this

i just want u to know zadie that this is YOUR work. (really want to emphasise this especially after that one ask u got during SB and how it made u pull away from the DDLG concept), the first person that should be satisfied with your works is YOU. if you want to add ddlg pls do if u don’t then don’t if u want to extend the e2l plot in CH please DOOOO these are works and literally universes that you’re creating according to your own liking (and i promise whatever you put out will be amazing because all your works are actually so incredible you’re UNABLE to make smth bad) so pls pls pls add whatever u want !! write whatever you want as long as YOURE satisfied then that’s all that matters ! again love u so much i hope you’re taking care of urself <333

& and always keep your foot down these bitches necks ☝️💯

-⁉️

THERE YOU ARE HI ANGEL BABY 🤭🤭🤭🤍 i hope youve been doing well and are taking good care of yourself !!!!!

gonna try my best and respond to all parts so excuse me pls if i forget any 😭

I ABSOLUTELY AGREEEE. being single is so much better than being with someone like CH!jaems and im afraid ch!y/n's gonna need a while to realise that 🫣 and i know hhe whole jakyung x hoonie part was a little 😞 bc like why would he do that we all know he's madly in love with his enemy (he literally genuinely hates her) but its for the plot i promise 😞😞😞😞

i have also decided to add the smut a little earlier mostly bc i havent properly written smut for hoonie yet and i want to so bad like he's so dreamy and so mean it manes me want to spread my legs and go feral like full on begging and shit so the reason behind the early scheduled smut scene is mostly because of my hunger for sunghoon (jake look away baby)

and the whole not liking a character situation with the E2L is somehhing i struggled with a lot because i 100% agree with you hence the reason i responded the way i did but i genuinely get the nonie bc like thats our hoonie and i make him look so bad BUT I PROMISE ITS FOR THE PLOT 😭😭😭

i will also never get the whole idea of going into someone's inbox and just ranting and complaining when you could just..click away but whatever honestly sto ive accepted that this smau will trigger a LOT of people and i have come to the conclusion that it justa pproves my thoughts of doing what's necessary 🫣

thank you so, so much for your sweet words baby. i do need those reminders every now and then simply because as a writer i tend to get caught up by all the engagement and interactions and asks and comments and the numbers that i tend to forget who i'm writing for in the first place. i hope you know this ask literally means the world to me and i love and appreciate you so so so much, sending you a big kiss rn 🥺☁️🫧🩷

[inutaffy]

NOW FOR THE OTHER TAG. "why are they in space" lmao lemme tell u why

OKAY SO! end of season 3 right, all is well, then some alien dinosaur shows up (he's a tricerton. im not spelling it right but idc) and he beats up the mutanimals (ninja turtles friends) and so raph goes after him, tames him ig??? and then dino dude is all "there are KRAANG ON YOUR PLANET" and the turtles are like "lol we got rid of them like 15 episodes ago keep up" but decide the humor dino man anyways EVEN THOUGH HE BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA THEIR FRIENDS??? LIKE OKAY UH SURE ANYWAYS WE'RE GONNA GLOSS OVER THAT- hey btw where did u say the kraang were again??? not that we're worried but yk just in case.....okay yeah can u take us there okay yeah cool thanks

so dino man takes them to where the kraang are hiding out (i think t was the technodrome?? idk its been like a week since i finished s3 but im pretty sure they were in the technodrome. ANYWAYS) dino man takes them there, they beat up some kraang, if u listen closely you'll hear me yelling over leo's fighting style. i just think he's neat, and then they find out that the kraang are doing smth or another at the statue of liberty, so THEN dino dude is like "WE GOTTA DESTROY THE BEACON." so the turtles are like ok CHILL we're doing that rn, cue more fighting with the kraang (WHO ARE ALL TERRIFIED BY DINO DUDE BTW. BC HIS SPECIES IS LIKE THE SWORN ENEMY OF THE KRAANG. THEY ARE NOT BESTIES)

then plot twist, after the kraang retreat, the dino dude is like "i also have to destroy your planet now bc u humans suck ass and also there are kraang everywhere lol there's nothing u can do to stop this" and the turtles (raph specifically, THAT WAS HIS DINO PAL MAN) are like hey wait lets talk this over we JUST saved this fucking planet wdym you're gonna blow us up and then dino dude is like oh im not blowing u up we're just gonna activate a black hole and get rid of this whole galaxy.

the turtles do not like this

so raph is EPIC and destroys the beacon (but not before it signals the rest of the dino army but they don't know that until the next episode rip) oh and also dino dude falls off the statue of liberty and dies

next ep!! the kraang have reassembled and are loading up the technodrome, the turtles gear up to take them down again, then the rest of the dino dude army shows up, shit goes south real quick, mikey gets captured and the others almost get vaporized and leo gets to fly a spaceship again, they rescue mikey piss of the dino general dude meet this AWESOME KRAANG GUY WHO I LOVE his name is agent bishop and i love him, and then they gather all their friends for an epic season finale boss fight to stop the dino dudes from black hole-ing the planet (they get shredder involved too. it's awful. i hate him)

so they're all fighting and stuff, trying to stop the dino army for setting up the black hole thing, AND THEY ALMOST WIN. BUT LIKE I SAID. THEY ENLISTED THE FUCKING SHREDDER. AKA "I HAVE NEVER LET ANYTHING GO EVER. I STUBBED MY TOE ONCE AND NOW I HAVE A PERSONAL BEEF WITH FUNITURE." so shredder does what shredder does best and LITERALLY stabs splinter in the back while he was going to shut off the black hole portal thing. like the bitch he is. and the turtles are like "WHAT THE FUCK." and then the portal is activated and the earth is sucked into a black hole and the turtles are just SITTING THERE holding their dead dad as the world is ending but at the last second a SHIP shows up and this robot (FUGITOID. I LOVE HIM. i know he does something in this season that pisses the turtles off but i forgot what it is) shows up and is like "COME IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE"

and so they do and fugitoid zooms them away to the relative safety of space and does some time rewind thing that sets them 6 months in the past so that they can now find the black hole portal parts which are scattered across the galaxies before the dino army does and stop them from destroying the earth again and THAT. THAT MY LOVE. is why they are in space.

no. everyone needs to read this. what the fuck

[pro-mammonologist]

Congrats on 500 ♥

For the event: I think about Mammon who is very horny, but feels guilty about it because MC looks too innocent. Some kind of hurt/comfort? Then it turns out that MC is pretty horny too ~

Mammon really struggled to stop himself sometimes. At least when it came to his urges, whether it was his greed or something else. Throughout knowing you, he’d always find himself feeling so strongly for you, the urge to touch you and make you his, but he knew he must wait for you to let him. So he’d take to touching himself, rubbing out one every chance he could.

It wasn’t until you two were together that he finally felt comfy with expressing himself around you but there was one thing that he could never tell you. His thumb would hover over send each time he wanted to send you something dirty but he would always delete the message. When you were nuzzling into him mid-cuddle and your bottom would brush against him, he’d tell himself not to say anything and wait.

After all, humans like you were so innocent! He remembers back when he last went to the human world, sex was so taboo! It was all missionary and in the dark under the blankets. Sure, he knows things have changed, he’s watched plenty of human movies, and listens to human music… but that’s not you. Everybody is different right? He’d be… defiling you, almost. Plus, no human can compare to a demon’s horniness!

You, on the other hand, thought completely different from him. Society is changing and so is the view on sex, so is the view on how much sex and how kinky the sex is. You wanted him, really, really bad. It was so hard to tell him, especially since each time you’d get ready to make a move, he’d shy away and avoid it. Did he not find you sexually appealing? You definitely found him sexy! You wanted to ask him outright what the issue was, but what if he just confirmed your assumption?

You’d brush your bottom against his crotch, waiting for a response, just for him to reposition and not respond. You’d start a conversation around sex and he’d be quiet or completely miss the point. It had gotten to the point that you were just desperate. And now that you’re situated on top of him, tongue in his mouth feeling him up and down, you know exactly what he’s going to do.

“Mammon, I want you.” You huffed as your mouths separated.

“Mm.” He continued to kiss you, his only response a grunt.

You pushed him away. “Do you want me?” You looked at him, his eyes wide and flitting away.

“Yeah.” His response was quiet.

You felt your stomach sink and you looked down trying to hide the tears forming in your eyes. He looked back at you and saw the change in demeanor.

“What’s wrong?” You looked away from him, trying to swallow the lump in your throat. His heart was beating like crazy. “Mc?”

You nodded. “I’m fine.” Rushing the words out as fast as possible. “It’s okay, I just need to get up.” You left his lap and rushed to your room, leaving Mammon alone on his couch. He watched you leave, wondering if he should follow you.

You settled in your room and sat with your back against the door, holding your knees against your chest. You didn’t know if you wanted to cry or not, to let all the emotions fly. Your phone dinged.

Mammon: did I do something? Whatever I did I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you please Mc.

You looked at the message and tried to think of what to say.

Mammon: I’m really sorry.

Mammon: can ya say something?

You tentatively moved your thumbs over your screen.

Mc: am I not attractive to you?

Mammon really couldn’t believe his eyes when he received the message. Are you kidding?

Mammon: ain’t no way that’s the problem. You’re more than beautiful. Might as well take Asmo’s place as the prettiest in the Devildom.

You felt flattered but that wasn’t what you wanted to hear.

Mc: why do we only ever just make out?

Mammon: wdym?

Mc: I want to know why don’t you touch me or you know

Mammon’s heart skipped a beat, he stood up from the couch and started to walk your way, still texting.

Mammon: I do want to touch you. But I never think you do.

You felt your lip quiver.

Mc: I always want you.

Mammon knocked on your door. “Can I come in?” You stood up in front of the door hesitated before letting him in. He came face to face with you, little tears coating your face complemented by your puffy eyes and strained face. “Mc, I’m sorry I make you feel that way.” You wrapped your arms around him, both so he couldn’t see the tears in your eyes and to also get that comfort you desired.

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. You shouldn’t ever feel unwanted. Or undesirable or whatever.” He kissed your neck, not in a sexual way but in an ‘I love you’ way. “I’m obsessed with ya, in every way. Yer friggin’ perfect.”

You continued to hold him, not wanting to pull away. You tried to calm your emotions and let the tears remain in so you could talk to him.

He could tell you were trying to calm down. “I’m sorry I never do anything. I always think that—that you—well, I dunno how to explain.” He was struggling to find a way to explain your assumed innocence. “You seem so innocent. So humanly.” He settled on that. You found yourself confused by his words.

Humans! Innocent!!??? Does he know anything about humanity?

You actually laughed a little, confusing him. “Why’re ya laughin’?”

“Humans are so not innocent.” You couldn’t help back let go to get a look at his face, which was was just the way you expected it. Dumbfounded. “Jeez, you demons and your assumptions about humans. I don’t know a single innocent human. Do you just think we are a bunch of Lukes running around?” You were now really laughing especially with his newfound face. He looked almost like a… fish?

“No! I just… okay.” He sighed and breathed in sharply. “Let me just get it out. I didn’t think you were as horny as me. I still don’t. Demons and temptation, ya know.”

“Mammon, that makes no sense. The average human has a sexual thought every few minutes or seconds or something like that. We literally have 100 year lifespans we sorta are inclined to always think about sex. And you demons, millennia long lifespans. You don’t have to have babies 24/7.” You weren’t crying at all anymore and now Mammon was absolutely in shock.

“Every few seconds!!! No way!! Uh uh.”

“Let’s look it up.”

Mammon shuffled through his ddd and then plastered his phone in your face. “Told ya. It’s 19 times a day.”

“Uh, Mammon, it ranges from like 19 to 388.”

“Only in men!”

“Well I probably think about sex with you about 388 times a day.”

“Pssh. Then I’m probably in the thousands.”

“No, Mammon you don’t think enough for that.”

He wanted to say something but he ended up just looking at you. You could tell all that tension from earlier was already making a return at least for him.

“You okay, now?” You nodded. “Let’s go back to my room.” You nodded again and took his hand. When you got to his room, he got red and stopped in his tracks. “You wanna have sex now?”

“Mammon, didn’t we just talk about this? If you reject me now, I’m never looking at you again.”

He grinned and licked his lips, pulling you into his room by the waist. “Clearly, we have no choice!”

Note: this is canon. Change my mind.