#WAR OF THE WORMS OMG

[tournament-of-ninjago]

ROUND 3

propaganda for WOJIRA:

propaganda for THE GREAT DEVOURER:

[thetimetraveler24]

Sometimes I’m just watching the animated Star Wars series and out of nowhere the most unhinged, eldritch horror, nightmare fuel things will just be there for an episode. Then they’re gone and no one says anything about it.

[the-lambda-archives-ai]

Statement of : Gordon Martinez Freeman, 30 year old MIT graduate,Regarding a peculiar video game he’d found.

Recorded direct from subject, May 16, 200-

Statement begins.

Pt 1 > here

ABOUT 👇

Hello! I am the author of this AU, you can find my main at @inkzectz , for more meta questions about this AU, or for general comments about it, please go there.

What is the AU about?

LA : AI is a crossover AU of sorts, in the simplest way put, it’s TMA but with HLVRAI characters, TMA stuff happens but altered to fit the general HLVRAI narrative, and with my own changes, headcanons, etc. added

I will be updating/editing this post as I progress.

Will it have spoilers?

Disclaimer!!

The AU will have a lot of the original themes of hlvrai and more so TMA, more so, horror themes, this will include gore, body horror, worms, decomposition, cult themes, psychological horror, arachnophobia,flashing imagery, etc.

(Will update as I go on)

I also feel it is important to mention this is the first time I have ever made a ask blog/ web comic/ published a story online, I will make mistakes, please bare with me as I am trying to figure things out.

English is not my first language, I do my best to grammar check and write well, but at the end of the day I will also be making mistakes.

Please be patient with me.

This au is a passion project of mine that I am doing on my free time because I want to, it is important to remember as a reader, I do not owe you anything.

It is best if you’ve seen it but as of writing it right now (early ep 4) there aren’t any spoilers. Once I am a little further ahead then you may want to listen to it.

Yes, not a lot, but vague/mild spoilers about how the world works, plot points, and character.

Again the spoilers will be vague and mild at worst, as it progresses I would recommend listening to tma, but it’s sort of like how while half life knowledge is helpful in hlvrai it isn’t exactly necessary to enjoy hlvrai bc it’s different enough from it to not really matter (?) I hope that makes sense.

Asks rules

- No telling [ player ] exactly what happens ex : “omg [ player ] when you weren’t looking [ npc ] said this very important thing that is supposed to be kept secret for lore reasons”

- Please avoid asks like “tell this character they’re pretty” while I appreciate the compliment, I am trying to write a story and want to keep things as on topic as possible. Instead tell me on my main if you like the art, I’ll probably reply with a doodle or something, just not on here.

- Less so of a rule but more so of a general statement, I will be avoiding asks that either are too close to what happens or if answering would mean progressing the story too quickly, there’s a lot I want to happen and I want time to do it all.

- Another one that’s less of a rule and more of a general thing, if I don’t like what you said I won’t be answering.

- I also sometimes just don’t know how to answer some things.

- Please be respectful of the ships I choose to include and don't force your own, ship wars and such will not be tolerated.

- Please be respectful of others and do not spoil anything, not everyone has listened to TMA and knows it's themes.

I will not be answering everything, I cannot always get to every message so please be respectful of that.

Select character

Character abouts! [ Will be updating as I continue to work on the story ]

[ select ] > Mr. Freeman

> Gordon Martinez ‘Martini’ Freeman

30 y.o . 6’0 . 230lb . Romani / Puertorican . male [ he/him ] . bisexual

[ PLAYER ]

> Lives in Seattle, MIT graduate, left Black Mesa, works as a librarian IRL but also makes money via streaming video games occasionally, in real time it is 2018.

> Believes in the paranormal out of fear but tries to rationalize out of denial, he will never admit something is supernatural and will jump through hoops to rationalize even if deep down he does believe.

> Has a son named Joshua Medrano Freeman, who is 6 years old, Gordon and his old partner met in college but split up before Joshua was born, they remain civil but are nothing more to each other than Joshua’s other parent.

> Gordon rents an apartment with 3 rooms, his own room, Joshua’s room, and a third that used to be a guest room but he has so little visitors he’s just chosen to revamp it into a gaming room.

> Gordon works primarily in a library for now as he’s looking for a better job.

> Gordon often wears hoodies, sweaters, t-shirts, crew necks, and any general outfit one would wear at home, long curly hair that is beginning to grey due to stress, unkempt goatee, and almost always wears green tinted glasses [ he doesn’t need glasses he just thinks they’re cool ]

> His hair is usually pulled back in a ponytail but can also be found in a bun or just down.

< [ select ] > Mr. Coolatta

> Thomas ‘Tommy’ Coolatta, primary researcher, and technical head of the institute.

39 y.o . 6’7 . 190lb . Chinese/filipino . Male [ he/him ] . ???

[ NPC ]

> His father owns the Lambda institute and he grew up in it, he officially started working in the archives when he was 24, and of all the employees in the entire institute he has worked there the longest.

> No one knows who his father really is, Tommy being the only one who’s ever actually seen / spoken to him, his father is the real head of the institute but gives most his orders through Tommy, so Tommy is also technically the head as well.

> Not much is actually known about him, besides his father he doesn’t appear to have any other family, nor does he ever speak of his personal life much.

> Tommy primarily works as an archival assistant, specifically in research, he is the one who will verify details regarding statements or do further investigations into aspects of the statements.

> Tommy is quite the colorful character, often wearing colorful clothing and accessories, he seems to think doing so brings some cheer into an otherwise boring environment, he often wears patterned polo shirts, cheap company bracelets, pins, lanyards, pant chains, but is never without his signature multicolor propeller hat.

[oh-no-its-bird]

I'm having. So many Uchiha Houhua thoughts. Like I know so much of his existence is geared towards survival but. The hc of Uchiha's use of war fans,I have to wonder if he ever finds him half heartedly fiddling with a delicate seeming Tessen, remebering an old friend now far gone, just as razor edged and yet still missed.

And it may be my own fondness for the concept of a spider summons but so much of spider behavior is "Please Leave Me Alone" which is very on brand for Houhua. Camouflage and careful, delicate and yet still so dangerous, setting invisible webs between leaves and waiting for the worse predators to pass. (Also using spider venom to fuck with his heartrate for the possum jutsu maybe?)

The entire concept is so delightful and I'm very thankful to have seen all your little tidbits on it

YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU SENT ME A STRAWPAGE I JUST SAW IT LAST NIGHT BUT FELL ASLEEP BEFORE I COULD COPY PASTE IT TO REPLY TO HERE!!!!!!!!!!!

Omg hi funny seeing you here (<- batting my eyelashes, twirling my hair)

Anyways I love this, actually. Like, a lot.

Ough,, Houhua unable to look at war fans without thinking about both SY and SQQ,,,

I think it's actually especially fun to think ab like. The difference in fighting style between (Japanese) Uchiha styled war fan techniques and (Chinese) Cang Qiong Sect war fan techniques. Not even counting the much more specific Qing Jing Peak style of fan techniques.

That also goes double for sword techniques, especially considering the plans for Houhua to go into sword smithing.

Houhua has literal decades of the Cang Qiong sect sword style engraved into his fucking bones. Into his soul, even, if you consider the whole 'cultivators swords are usually tied to their spirits in some way' thing.

He's going to have the worst time trying to switch to Uchiha sword styles-- though I think the sharingan + the unfamiliar, tiny body without all the muscle memory of his past life will help him at least get his footing

,, Hey, is muscle memory held in the actual muscle or is it held in the brain? That's a thought.

ALSO. THE SPIDERS.

I. I cant lie to u, you are making an amazing argument rn for him having a spider summons. I love the idea sm, I am now faced w the ultimate dilemma of choosing between a spider contract or a rat contract.

On one hand, they both carry undertones of like 'there might be a bit more to see here than just a coward' bc of the associated (mostly negative) connotations of rats and spiders both being like, underhanded, sneaky, that sort of thing. But the spider tho,,, ough,, it also shows a side of implied manipulation that might be fun just from the angle of like.

Yeah you'd expect him to have some sort of rodent contract but hes actually been designated spider coded by the universe, actually.

I forget if I posted this snippet yet or if I only posted it on the discord but take this really quick:

So like. This moment, where Kabuto bets Houhua will get some form of rodent contract (for obvious reasons) while Hana bets he gets a fucking worm. But now make it even funnier bc they're both wrong and he got a spider contract.

This could also maybe play interesting into Houhua and Kabuto's sort of ongoing quiet squinting in eachothers direction as they both go 'this guy isnt as simple as he seems...' as Kabuto mentally recalculates some of Houhua's behavior

This also can just bring out a pretty fun "hey so lets talk about in universe stereotypes and associations when it comes to summoning animals" which I just think is fun. Like, culturally, what does it mean to have a contracted animal? Do some people treat it like they might astrology personality tests? Do some people think its just nonsense and pure luck or not that deep?

For some people it probably isn't that deep, while for others (specifically those who might come from families who always have the same contract, or others who sign blank contracts where they really are sent to an animal that matches them best) it really is a good way to try and analyze them

And like. Where does that leave Houhua?

This could also just be fun for when he interacts w Orochimaru, who fucking hates bugs (insert my own personal favorite hc here that he hates them largely in part due to the many times he was stuck inside his own rotting body, infested with bugs)

And like, Houhua and Orochimaru will inevitably interact, though I'm not 100% sure on how it goes just yet. But like. Houhua having a spider contract and Orochimaru coincidentally hating spiders. Could be funny.

PLUS YOU'RE SO RIGHT FOR LIKE. SPIDER VENOM POSSIBLY PLAYING INTO HIS PLAYING DEAD ACT. UR SO SMART FOR THAT.

Anyways. Yeah ok I think spider contract Houhua would go pretty hard for multiple reasons. Give him a big fluffy spider with big ol eyes.

Houhua can maybe get another contract further down the line and then get the rodents he deserves.

Im so glad that you've been enjoying the SQH in naruto au nonsense I've been pumping out!! I'm like. Halfwayish done with chapter one but it keeps getting longer. I'll get there eventually.

I really need to update my tumblr vault with all the recent additions to the au but want to update it when I post the actual fic so I can link the fic to the chapter, so I'm holding off on that

Anyways, thank you for your ask!!

[majorblinks]

omg it's my 2 year writerversary........

ONE DAY MAJORBLINKS WILL RETURN FROM WAR...... love all of u in the divalicious worm ditch 4ever <333333333

[stealingpotatoes]

Invitation to talk about Sayuri and Nymie?

:D CAN OF WORMS: OPENED!! i'll tell u abt how they got found as Jedi

ok so Sayuri is one of the students that doesn't rlly go home bc there isn't much to go back to. Basically her parents were Rebellion pilots (or one was a pilot the other a mechanic. kinda unsure) but were both killed in action against the Empire abt 3-4ABY ish. obvs the Rebellion couldn't look after a 7-8yo while fighting the Empire

so the remainder of the squad manage to get her back to her parents' home village/ where she was born. so having like Everything change all at once leaves her pretty ?? and gives her some serious trusting-her-environment issues. her coolgirl "i dont care" persona is very much a result of this bc she's worried abt getting too comfy in smthn. (which is at odds w the OTHER issue she got from this event which is "deathly afraid of flying" an issue not helped if Master "traffic laws are just guidelines" Skywalker is piloting. but she tries 2 act like shes fine)

this is gonna get kinda long so im gonna smack some unposted art here and then go into a readmore

anyway fast forwarding to when Sayuri's abt 13 (roughly 9aby) she's visiting her parent's old squadron on a New Republic bc they'd all come visit whenever she could and after the Empire's fall they did a lot more pick her up and fly her to a base to ALL see her. and they're like omg Sayuri you came at the PERFECT time bc this rlly amazing pilot war hero who's also some like. mystical whatever is here!! he's on his way to some magic place we heard. maybe u can meet him!! which sayuri meets w her usual whatever bc she's not that gassed abt war heroes.

very worth noting that the squad's probably all seen her move shit with her mind, but theyre like oh you know how it is with teenage girls. the "nobody knows what a jedi is" + "the empire existed for a decent bit of her childhood" thing has kept anyone from being like yeahh sayuri should like. talk to someone abt this.

anyway she goes along when the squad are like c'mon let's see if we can see him. ok the only way i can describe this is you know the spiderverse like... spidey-sense recognition thing? that's basically what happens LOL Luke and Sayuri both have a FORCE USER RECOGNISED?? moment and Luke then makes a beeline for her then realises oh shit tiny teenager not jedi. would you LIKE to be a jedi?? and sayuri who hates her village and is feeling the strongest emotional connection she's felt in forever w this stranger she met 2 seconds ago is like okay fuckin sure yeah. and woo jedi!!

i posted my unposted nymie art yesterday but likkeeee pretend theres some here <3

So Sayuri falls into the "one of the Jedi found them thru the force or by chance" category of students who get found. However Nymie very much falls into the second category, which is "CAN SOMEONE DEAL WITH THIS WEIRD SUPERPOWERED CHILD FOR US????"

So 2 things about Nymie: 1. like i've said before, she's from a very rich high class pantoran family. super stuck up, mostly raised by nannies & tutors, but somehow Nymie just didn't get the stuck-up genes like all her (4!!) siblings who are just obsessed w their social standing etc and is instead just :D all the time. 2. her proficiency ig is the living force esp in the 'good at connecting to animals' way (which I think means I legally need to draw her w Ezra).

so the former often led her to escaping her family's stuffy parties and galas or whatever (usually to whoever's house it is' garden or somewhere she wasnt meant to be) to find something interesting. usually a pet <3 one particular time when she was 9 she was following her Pet Sense but couldnt find anything in the house. so she kinda just reached out more and long story short thats how Nymie managed to call this hugemassive beast (i'd tell u what it was if i knew pantoran animals LOL) out of the nearby countryside to her. massively distressing for everyone, all these rich ppl were like "OH MY GOD I NEARLY DIED" (it didnt attack anyone). very funny exciting time for Nymie who was enjoying this new beastie friend til animal control showed up. saddening. everyone is confused bc HOW did that happen

a dude old (and cool) enough to have seen more than one jedi in their heyday (+ idk uni researcher knows his shit) noticed what happened w it going straight to Nymie and overheard her account and realised what happened and was like hi nymie's parents. i think u need to get into contact w the new republic bc thats a jedi right there (which they take and go oo social climbing. we have a jedi child people will think we're cooler. bc theyre assholes)

and yeah im losing steam now but luke shows up and she joins the academyyay!

[trailmix-silent-old]

TDP: general thoughts about s7 (spoilers, duh)

Sooo I know it's been a week, but I wanted to get some of my thoughts about season 7 out. I'll be posting more TDP stuff for a while after this too. I haven't posted on tumblr in like 5 years (my old blog is @trailmixstar-blog) but the possible end of this show made me come out of hibernation.

So some general points I wanna make first:

AAAAAAAADHDKDKSFDJSKSK

I can't believe the arc is over omg

I've been following this show since the day it came out

I was such an early fan that I had a Rayllum fic on Wattpad that was top 10 in #thedragonprince

And now it may be over?????? FU-

Someone hold my hand

Now, some specific things I liked about this season:

Finally the Ruthari reunion 🥺

Kosmo and Wanda Astrid being relevant

Cute Rayllum moments

Also angsty Rayllum moments that almost gave me a heart attack

Ezran actually does something this season

It might be an unpopular opinion but I like what they did with Ezran's character, I might make a separate post about it later

Aanya is the queen we need but don't deserve

Human Aaravos is such a silly lil guy

Sorvus should've been canon but I enjoyed their banter nonetheless

The dry baguette is somehow still in the lodge

And so many other callbacks to earlier seasons

Terry finally joins the good side

Karim is still such a little bitch istg

(His death was gruesome but I still laughed)

Love how Callum still insists on using his elfsona even though the war is long over

Claudia's new armor? *chef's kiss*

Things I liked less:

Did- did they seriously confirm the Harrow bird theory in the last few minutes? Seriously?? Is this a joke to them? What's he been doing for over 2 years? Just eating worms while watching the potential end of the world?

Is it just me or was Aaravos dumbed down a little? Like him saying Callum's name while trying to give him the poisoned apple, like that's such an obvious mistake. And I didn't really understand why he killed the bird in front of Terry? He knew Terry would be upset, potentially leave and inform everyone about Aaravos returning. Was there a purpose?

I feel like the explosives could've been used more, but maybe if the series continues they'll be relevant then

Many things were left openended, many unanswered questions. What will happen to the novablade? And the evil coin? What about Miyana and her baby? And the self-eating to stay immortal they discovered? Was Harrow seriously the bird all this time?????

Overall, I really liked this finale. I especially loved all the callbacks to earlier in the show. When Aaravos said an archdragon's bite can kill a Startouch elf, I immediately thought of how Zym's bite was the only thing that could break Rayla's armband thingy in season 1. Was that subtle foreshadowing? Also, Runaan was the one who taught Rayla to sweep the leg!! And she used it against Soren, who said sweeping the leg wasn't a thing in swordfighting. Nice.

I think they tied up quite a few things in the plot, but left a bunch of unanswered questions for a potential continuation. I'm really curious about the self-eating, since I think it could be an important factor in a future arc.

That's it for now. Like I said, I'll make some more TDP posts for a while, but I'll probably mainly become a Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss focused blog after that.

If you read this far, thanks for the attention <3

[so-what-then]

House of the Dragon season 2 review

Highlights:

Better Aegon.

Criston becoming a decent character.

Giving Rhaena parts of Nettle’s subplot.

The idea of Daemon’s vision quest in theory.

Aemond trying to get shit done, what a king 👑

Lowlights:

Literally everything else.

Not a single redeeming female character. Not a single one.

Alicent is a punk bitch.

Rhaenyra is fucking stupid.

Why. Would you make Mysaria, the sneaky worm lady, a pacifist philanthropist?

Helaena reduced to pacifist spoiler machine when she could've been a confused oracle with her own arc.

Where 👏Are 👏The 👏Battles👏?

Nothing happens even when stuff is happening! No one's death means anything!

Dialogue sucked. How many more moody shots of characters staring into the middle distance and meditating on the unfairness of the world do we need?

“The innocents” MAN FUCK THE INNOCENTS THIS IS WAR.

They neutered and sidelined my boy Corlys! His subplot deserved more.

Daemon’s vision quest should have lasted 2 episodes tops.

Stop with the “sOnG oF ICe&fIRe” omg so stupid.

We don’t need forced queer rep from Rhaenyra and Mysaria of all people 🥴

The dragonseeds plot development happens in the most scooby doo way possible.

While giving Rhaena more to do is good in theory, having a dragon roam freely has consequences for the lore.

Honestly what the show chose to include and not include is baffling. Why drop Jace’s time in the North? Why not show Rhaena attempting to tame Seasmoke instead of referencing it in passing? Why include another shot of Alicent looking depressed? Why is Gwayne there if he doesn't do anything? Why show a Rhaenyra and Alicent sleepover multiple times??

In conclusion, hollywood feminism and stupidity ruined hotd. Don’t let the media gaslight you into thinking otherwise, this show is sexist as hell and butchers the source material.

[lionacuty]

I'll talk about all five kids which are Mirai, Pearla, Ashes, Hazel and Flora (name possibility for the caterpillar worm kiddo) from eldest to youngest

Hazel is a hybrid of a frog and cat with some shark elements, she is the eldest daughter of the bishop of famine, she was known to be very mischievous kid along side being loud and hot headed like her mother Heket with a lesser known part of her personality coming from their parents Méliva (who was known to be a no nonsense and serious cultist) in the form of being anxious and being a sassy little kid. She was a very late speaker when she was younger which no one knew why until it was discovered that she actually had trouble speaking similar to what Heket had but to a lesser degree, she does not like Niko nor understands why one of her mum's (aka Méliva) is so chill with them (she also has a little brother but he came along, found from within a forest after both of her parents got indoctrinated by Niko)

in the descendants au Hazel shall bear the yellow crown

Pearla is a squid jellyfish hybrid (with witness Astaroth being the jellyfish in question)she is younger than Hazel by a couple of years, eldest daughter of four kids (another squid jellyfish hybrid being the second oldest, a squid cuttlefish hybrid and the youngest being a squid octopus hybrid, these four needs names omg-), Kallamar's little princess and daughter of the bishop of pestilence. She is extremely spoiled because Kallamar was way too excited to be a parent, like to the point she wore a tiara that mimicked the blue crown because she straight wanted it and got a compromise instead during the days where her dad was a god, speaking of her dad she loves him very much to the point that seeing her siblings and cousins interacting with him makes her jealous and sees them as competition (which all five of her parents are trying their best to correct that behavior of hers), she also doesn't like the lamb and hates Narinder for tearing off her dad's beautiful ears which I shall mention that she is hard of hearing and is very easy to scare

in the descendants au Pearla shall bear the blue crown

Ashes is a hybrid of a sheep and cat with big problems surrounding her arms and hands as it is a struggle to pick up light objects due to underdeveloped muscles, despite that she's always at ready to duel her cousins with the usage of her head and horns as a way to show affection towards them ever since she picked up her parents rough and confusing in nature play fighting, she is quite the serious and curious kid indeed as the world around her seems to always have secrets lying around in the corner, she is the eldest daughter of 3 kids with her little siblings being twins and daughter of the new god of death

in the descendants au Ashes bears the red crown

Mirai is a fishing spider (specifically the white tiger fishing spider if I remember correctly) that was found alone near a pond by Shamura making her the daughter of the ex-bishop of war and knowledge, despite her memory problems she still is able to recall events Shamura can't and vise versa, they're a calm and reserved kid only taking to members of their own family for the most part as they enjoy their company the most, they have been shown to have a big interest in history and cult management

in the descendants au Mirai bears the purple crown

And lastly, Flora, they were found in Darkwood by Leshy as the poor kid was abandoned by their parents because they couldn't see at all, they were quite scared in the beginning of when they joined the cult under Leshy and his friends supervision and as time went on that fear of theirs disappeared to show the bubbly personality Flora has, and ends up seeing Leshy as their father figure because of what they have in common and the many times it taught them things that genuinely helped, they are known as the child of the ex-bishop of chaos

in the descendants au Flora bears the green crown which in this au too, they had it before they've met Leshy

so ya, here they are :3

[makoodles]

Was rereading Sex education and had this scenario pop into my head after they're all mated and whatnot, and the hoomans likes gaming for purposes let's go with the Spyro reignited trilogy, and they've been up all night tryin to 100% which I'll have you know is a pain in the ass

Neytiri and Jake*entering the outpost to take their human mate out with them*

Jake:Y/n, darlin! Come on!

Y/n: Uh-huh. Give me a minute.

[video game sounds]

Neytiri: Have you been up all night?

Y/n: No, it's okay. The cat's got it with the salad.

Jake and and Neytiri: What?

Y/N: I already put— I, uh— the— wh— the French toast.

Neytiri: Y/n!*she turns the game off*;This is getting absurd! You stay up all night, and you...!

[video game sounds]

Jake: Y/n, stop.*shuts it off again, and this time unplugs the whole thing after removing the game*

Y/n: But, guys, I need to fight the the rhynocs, and egg thieves to save the dragon babies if I want to beat the sorceress and beat the game!!*as well as a jumbled mess of the games plot*

[a beat, and a confused Neytiri before she shakes her head]

Neytiri: No! You're taking a break! Lest you start threatening the bouncy purple thing's family and threatening to break things....again. Besides we wanted to spend time with you, you're game will just have to wait

Y/n:oh fuck my game let's go.

omg not spyro 😭 my friend used to play that all the time when we were kids, but i was so bad at it. so the only game we ever played when i was at his house was that game worms? i think it was called worms. like, it was about worms at war with machine guns and everything?

imagine trying to explain that to your big blue alien s/o's fhkhgkhgka

[goosewriting]

guys GUYS i started playing star wars outlaws yesterday and today ND-5 finally made his appearance and omg. the SCREAM i scrumped when he appeared on screen, and with such a cool intro too argh!! also like the designers were cooking with the big coat and the rolled up sleeves and the low belt and tiny waist and deep voice and hfuwjjfjs😩🤤🤌 it's not a stretch to say i only wanted to play this game for him and i am actually having a grand old time playing? like i have to hold back my cal instincts of going into any place sabre and blasters a-blazing, but the sneaky aspect is really cool and there's a lot of new mechanics i'm enjoying and nix is such a cute little sweetheart 🥺💕

all of this to say, the brain is rotting and the worms are feasting, so please stay tuned for what comes next :') once i advance the story a bit more and get a better grasp on ND's personality and backstory, i am most definitely writing something for him!!!

[azrielhours]

What about virgin Cass and Rhys the absolute menaces 😂 I wonder how that would go.

Omg thank you for asking!! Let’s explore this can of worms 🥴😈

Rhys is the first to lose his virginity because he’s the High Lords son. He’s flirtatious and smooth. He’s like Dorian at the beginning of tog, sweet and chivalrous but a horn dog with many lovers. He used to flirt with the daughters of nobility who were older than him and he loved making them blush.

Women have always found him beautiful and he could tell bc of how they reacted but also bc of his daemati powers. So Rhys has quite the ego even before he’s ever bedded a female. He’s considerate and attentive but keeps his emotions to himself and doesn’t get attached.

His first time is with a Lord’s daughter from his father’s court. He absolutely kept it to himself that it was his first time lmao. He’s very exploratory and isn’t shy about it. Obviously he’s not as good at it as he becomes later, but his curiosity alone helps him satisfy the girl bc he wants to try so much, even if he’s already finished.

Like not to get too explicit but even if he got his, he’d be eager to do a lot of other things literally out of curiosity and that gets the job done for the girl. Rhys tells Cassian all about it after. Cassian listens carefully and wants to bed a woman at that point.

So Cass was the second. Less confident than Rhys but a gentle giant even as a young man. I see him being super into girls and flirting openly, talking himself up and when he actually manages to talk a girl into taking him home, he’s more in over his head than he anticipated. His sweetness makes up for the fact that he didn’t make the girl finish. Months later when he gets good at it, he goes back to her to satisfy her properly.

I can see Cass getting slightly emotionally attached to the girl he loses his virginity to, but he gets over it eventually. Cass goes back to the same lovers more frequently than Rhys does, and we know canonically that he’s the only one that’s had a serious relationship before.

Cassian and Rhys have an easier time showing their sweeter side to women in bed compared to Az, especially if they’re softer or shyer girls. Cassian would be more sweetness and Rhys is more charm, if that discernment makes sense. Cassian would be keenly aware of his hulking frame and try very hard to make it comfortable.

His and Azriel’s first times were at Windhaven with the girls at the camp. There was probably a lot of unabashed talk amongst the other young Illyrians at the camp about fucking women, and that’s where the guys learn about sex, so when they finally do it, they have a rough idea of what’s expected.

Though I feel like I did Az justice in my fic, I think it would likely be a little clumsier irl unless he lucked out and did it w a girl who knew what she was doing. I think he’d be eager to please and do it relatively well, but his more reserved nature would prevent much communication, and he’d be nervous for sure. He’d want to be gentle but wouldn’t quite know the words to say, but the intention is certainly there.

The main thing I tried showing in the fic is that he’s literally never known intimacy or gentleness, like he went from his prison cell to war camp. So when it comes to bedding a woman, he’s gonna be really taken aback by how soft it can be. He’d learn through practice over the years that there is gentleness to be found in intimacy.

I don’t see him being in literally any relationship outside of hookups bc he’s been in love w Mor for centuries, so a lot of his experiences with women and femininity comes from sex. He learns about being a gentleman from that. So sex becomes highly exploratory for him. That’s when he starts getting a little wilder lol but that comes a whileeee later.

He's very attentive and notices every detail and gets good at it pretty fast even if he doesn’t talk about it as freely as Cass or Rhys do. I see him using his shadows to help determine if the girl is enjoying herself.

Cassian tells feyre literally the day they meet her that he, Rhys, and Az all love fucking so this is absolutely an area Azriel let’s himself indulge in, especially bc he knows such little intimacy in his life outside sex.

[brxkxnhxxrtsclxb]

Hii! Just wanted to ask if you saw Boruto leaks? (If you didn't, i'll just that it's over for Sarada😭).

hi anon :3 !!

sigh… a can of worms i didn’t want to open has been opened soooo…

long rant ahead:

[TLDR: this manga is a hot mess. sarada deserves not better, BUT THE BEST (i’m biased, she’s my fave so she only deserves the best)]

dear anon, i. am. tired. TIIIIRRRREEDDDD !!!!!

i’m sorry if this comes off as mean and rude and pls know i am not cussing you out (literally not directed at you, but at the manga) but WTF . respectfully, WHAT THE FUUUCCKKKK ??!! this manga is soooo i don’t even have the right words. well for one it’s ghetto. i can say that

so now we know chapter 10 WAS sarada’s fight this time skip. seems she’s for real gonna get the sakura treatment in being underutilized. sakura got her one fight against sasori and that was that UNTIL the war and fight against kaguya. seems sarada is unfortunately suffering the same fate. she got her dodging and chidori against hidari moment (which was literally the bare minimum tbh) and that’s it. WTF ._.

she’s being saved by we all know who YET AGAIN. it’s tiresome. why does she constantly need to be saved ?? we KNOW she’s capable to do her own thing. WE KNOW THIS !! she’s a shinobi dammit. her best moment was in the kawaki arc against boro and she’s never had another chance. that was all kodachi. i truly lament the day kodachi was let go (reasonable as to why but i didn’t realize how good we had it T_T). also, she has the other jonin with her so again, WTF. get them out of the way to give the MC yet another hero moment (same with himawari which doesn’t even makes sense. she got kurama now right ?? she got a huge power up somehow. tf she needs to be saved for?? hello ?? who’s writing this ??)

why IS sarada always being saved ?? they have her yapping about her goal to become hokage YET she’s done nothing to prove it (only did so by welcoming and befriending kawaki) and SHE IS THE ONE BEING SAVED !!!! the hokage’s job is to PROTECT THE VILLAGE !! she’s the one who is suppose to be doing the saving, not be saved!!!!! omg who IS writing this ??!!

i will say it’s possible the leaks are fake. i know this guy who said this is a reliable leaker but he also did say he wasn’t posting any since the chapter was dropping soon anyway. it’s possible he posted them so people could stop pestering him about them OR he just lied to, again, get these people off of him idk. of course there is the chance they’re true but that doesn’t matter anymore. this manga is fried. chapter after chapter, it’s the same washed stuff

kishimoto and ikemoto said it’d get dark and would be darker and better than naruto, that’s not true at all. fandom kept telling those outside of it (haters and those neutral to the manga) to give it time and how the time skip will get better. here we are now and nothing. it’s all… for what ??

they haven’t canceled this manga because reasons. and if that’s the case where they (jump) wanna keep it around, they’re better off canceling it while they still can and rebooting it tbh. they can use the same karma and otsutsuki plot line. it’s good. it works. all they need to do is hire an actual writer who knows what they’re doing and how to tell a story (like they did with kodachi), or idk a different mangaka who writes and draws and knows what they’re doing to work on it (like almost every manga). this isn’t any hate to ikemoto, but we know the man isn’t a writer. if that were the case we wouldn’t have needed kodachi from the start (shit, maybe ikemoto is the one doing everything which is why it’s all so contradicting and makes zero sense and so repetitive but this goes into conspiracy theory territory so i’ll leave it alone)

i’ll keep reading to see where they go with kawaki cuz i do like him too (and where is the lil vampire ?? where he ran off to?? hello ?? code, you there ??!!), but other than that this manga is a hot mess. notice how everyone in the ENTIRE CAST is dumbed down and weakened to make boruto look good ?? if you need to make your entire cast stupid in order for your main character to shine, you’re not a writer who knows what they’re doing and your main character sucks. your MC is boring and needs to be made to look cool and special by sacrificing the other characters. i’m sorry that’s SUPER RUDE, but that’s the truth and all there is to it. i can’t sugarcoat it :((

sorry for getting into a long rant anon. thank you for thinking of me and letting me know when seeing the leaks. i appreciate it🖤 it’s comforting to know someone sees things for the way they are. it IS over for sarada. as a fan of hers, i can say that cuz that’s what we’re getting. i’m not gonna sit here and be like “no she’s doing just fine”😭😭. only people i see defending this are shippers which is so stupid cuz that’s not the way to read shonen manga and not the main focus. you can have your ships, yes, but it’s literally not working in sarada’s favor AT ALL

idk. maybe it’s possible things will get better for sarada and i REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY WANT IT TO. YAY if that does happen but she’s in the middle of combat and this is what we get for her :(( she doesn’t get fights. ZERO TIME TO SHINE and it’s so stupid. she’s the main heroine, please treat her like it

imma go and cry in a corner now (not literally lmao) cuz my girl only deserves the best and that’s not boruto cuz all he does is hinder her character and potential😖

i am not okay with any of this T_T

[cult-of-the-eye]

Feeling shitty so I'm gonna treat myself to MAG 84

MARTIN K BLACKWOOD MY BELOVED

oh my god he's so plainly nervous omg this is such a difference to jon

the way jon does his whole pompous ass speech listing way too much information to look like he knows what he's doing but martin is way more pragmatic the way he just gives the necessary information

its so funny that the apparent least skilful of the archive crew is taking up the statements and doing it better than jon

he's really getting into it, he's doing the voices and everything

at first i couldn't get over how Martin he was but it sort of fades as he gets into it

is margaret carnegie someone i'm supposed to keep track of?

hoarding, dirt, the dump

corruption vibes

rat butler that's so fucking funny kids are so creative with their insults

loved the scary stories? i guess that part wasn't what scared him but i think it does raise an interesting point about what avatars do with people who get joy from a fear - do they hate those people? see them as challenges to make the joy turn sour?

what the fuck is she doing with gordon??

the way he said rot oh my god

baked beans????? lol

ew

EW

EW WHAT THE FUCK

FUCK THE FUCK OFF MAGGIE

GORDON WAS FINE????????

GORDIE'S DUMP.

oh my god that means someone did that to maggie before her, how long had this cycle been going??? who was the original?? was she priming him to become her all this time??? why him?? and who will be gordie's next victim?? wow i wonder what happened to the statement giver, it would've been interesting to see what he did next

oh god poor martin

his whole brush with jane prentiss and the worms and the corruption and the next time he's doing a statement its another one about fucking worms

that's so creepy horror institute of them i bet elias somehow made this happen

he's doing better than i thought he would be tbh

the biggest thing he's worried about is if it was a good job or not

i guess he still wants jon to come back and scold him about some mistake he made in the recording

HE STILL CALLS HIM THE HEAD ARCHIVIST. HE IS REFUSING TO ACCEPT ANYTHING ELSE. HE BELIEVES IN JON MORE THAN JON BELIEVES IN JON REALLY.

ABSENT. fuck. hd

tim if he feels like it - HA that's so tim and also literally me

i actually once had a similar experience to that

hmm yet another thing i have similar to Tim

he doesn't have jon's emphasis on rigorousness cause he doesn't feel the need to prove himself, he thins all he can do is get it done so that's what he's doing

what's this little slip up with i vs we? did he drag tim with him? was tim so unhelpful that martin did it himself so he was gonna be like yeah fuck this i did it myself but then he stopped himself and was like no we did it together?

classic inside bitch outside nice person martin

pneumonia - newspaper pulp?????? cancerous growths???? insect legs???? fuck off oh god SOMEHOW STILL MOVING ew ew ew

IT WENT MISSING

GORDON TOOK HER????

i think it's interesting how martin doesn't have the same scepticism as jon, which seems obvious cause he's had multiple run ins with the paranormal, he'd have no reason to disbelieve that it could happen but what's interesting is that he believes it happened to him. yeah i think the fact that he's dealt with worms before and the anxiety of not being believed probably makes him inclined to believe him or even he's just got way too much to worry about rather than whether or not someone's statement is fake

i wonder if anyone's got any good archivist!martin headcanons i feel like that would be so cool

melanie king!!!!!! why is she looking for him???

SHE GOT SHOT IN INDIA????? HER WAR GHOSTS???

it's so cool that throughout all of that, she's come to jon to talk about it cause he's the only one who understands

i guess he has that sort of charm about him

the statement is so disoriented its clear she was looking for jon and jon only but still martin offers to take her statement

he's trying to be as helpful as possible despite everything

jon's missing, they think he killed someone - i love his non-accusatory language

ha accidentally bore them to death - I LOVE YOU MELANIE

HE DIDN'T ha he's so indignant

i'm so happy that jurgen leitner's legacy has become "old man who got pipe murdered"

YEAH if jon were to ever murder someone, he'd do it in the most convoluted, worst way possible, like try to poison someone and end up accidentally counter acting it in some way or some shit like that

oh god they don't know about the not them and sasha oh no that's gonna be devastating when they do find out

god the institute really is where you come when you're desperate and out of options

he listens - i think that's the first good thing i've heard someone say about jon in the entire podcast oh my god

martin trying to be helpful again

ELIAS FUCK YOU FUCK OFF

martin's so nervous around him!!! i guess he's still the big boss and he's lied on his CV

HE KNOWS GHOST HUNT OF COURSE HE FUCKING DOES THIS CARTOON VILLAIN OF A MAN HONESTLY I BET HE WATCHES ALL THE PARANORMAL STUFF EVEN THE SHITTY ONES LIKE GIGGLING AND KICKING HIS FEET JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT

he even kept up with the fact that ghost hunt ended as well the bastard

"showed surprising promise" even his compliments suck

oh my god all of this is just a wink wink to jon. she doesn't know how much promise she actually had, she doesn't know how deep the paranormal stuff goes

martin's trying to get her to leave YES YES he's smarter than people give him credit for

he's such a snickering evil bastard oh my god he knows jon will come back or daisy will kill him so he doesn't need to worry about filling vacancies until daisy tells him otherwise

FORMAL QUALIFICATIONS AREN'T EVERYTHING, MARTIN

HE KNOWS. OF COURSE HE KNOWS. OH HE'S SUCH A DICKHEAD.

god he's desperate like what do you think you're gonna say to try and stop someone from taking a cursed job in front of said boss of cursed job while you are in the same cursed job

THE STATIC INCREASES

problem, martin?? FUCK EIHBCBIKLBRWILNW

MARTIN TRIED TO STOP HER. THE ANGER. ANGRY MARTIN SUPREMACY. HE WAITS UNTIL HE'S ALONE TO BE MAD. EVEN HIS ANGER IS TO SERVE OTHER PEOPLE. WOW.

Amazing episode. I hate elias. I may hate insects more. Ew.

[naivesilver]

omg hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💗 🎲 and 7 ? and maybe a moodboard or a web weaving?

MMMMMMMMMH you're still a worm, but how can I resist the call of a web weaving :^)

Send me  🎲 + a number and I will put ALL my OCs into a randomizer

🎲+ 7: (Thousand Problems) Pinocchio

(One Last Stop, Casey McQuinston // Big Bird, AJJ // Ghosts, The Head and the Heart // Taint, Paul Tran // The War of Vaslav Nijinsky, Frank Bidart // The Adventures of Pinocchio, Carlo Collodi)

[binch-i-might-be]

Hi!! Fellow fma fan here <3 for your crossover fma/ham, how would you imagine the relationship between Mustang and Washington?

OMG HI THANK YOU FOR FEEDING THE WORM THAT IS GNAWING ON MY BRAIN

so I've been thinking about this because in a lot of ways they are very similar. soldiers who deeply regret the crimes they have committed and are working towards a massive change for their countries, anyone?

so I THINK. in a way. superficially, Gwash would look at Roy and be reminded of himself when he was younger. this impression shatters immediately once he finds out that Roy dragged twelve year old Edward into the military lmao. like literally what the fuck man

Roy would be a bit suspicious at first as he is of most high ranking officers, but honestly I think that doesn't last long. he's very perceptive, because he has to be, and basically the more time he spends around Gwash, the clearer it becomes to him how deeply fucked up that man is. which kind of amuses him on some level. he busies himself trying to crack that nut while "the kids" are off committing nonsense

also Gwash 100% starts subconsciously Dadding him because that's just the way that man's brain is wired. he sees someone under the age of thirty and categorises them as Child. which lowkey offends Roy because he thinks he's patronising him before he realises that he's just Like That. to Everyone

so long story even longer, I think they start out just politely cordial and slowly shift into more like a Close Coworker relationship. they talk shop. exchange some war stories. moan about all the assholes they have to put up with. Roy starts applying the advice Gwash gives him in regards to handling Edward and has the horrifying realisation that it's basically parenting advice. he has a crisis. Gwash laughs at him. good times!