#Voiding Dysfunction
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"I don’t mind paying to use public restrooms because the paid ones are cleaner!” Then you clearly do not experience the profound frequency that can make paying-per-pee an itemized travel expense akin to an extra meal in my food budget, nor the level of urgency that has prevented me from ever turning down a restroom opportunity when I need it, which is constantly. We are not the same.
#paid restrooms#restrooms#bathrooms#overactive bladder#interstitial cystisis#voiding dysfunction#benign prostatic hyperplasia#Diabetes#vaginal prolapse#bladder prolapse#painful bladder syndrome#urinary tract infections#chronic utis#bladder stones#disability#invisible illness
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Someone help him
#hellooo…#I loved the last ep🧑🦲#family fights my beloveds…#filling the dysfunctional family void succession left oh so well this time#my art#otto hightower#alicent hightower#aegon ii targaryen#aemond targaryen#criston cole#hotd#house of the dragon#hotd fanart#house of the dragon fanart#asoiaf#awoiaf#team green
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sebby tickle art? plsplsplsplspls? feed us I beg
what to do when youve got a Mood? go find ol' reliable.
#my art#mine#pressure tickles#roblox pressure tickles#sebastian solace#void mass#sorta fuckass sketch srry#i tried to draw smth for this like three times and the dysfunction was dysfunctioning
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I think I'm slowly realizing how much OCPD traits have affected my ability to enjoy things, especially hobbies. I can't draw because I'm too worried I won't do it right. Can't watch TV shows I've wanted to watch for years because I won't enjoy them properly. Can't apply to drag shows unless I have a meticulously planned number that I've rehearsed to death already and also unless I buy that new wig and new foundation, because the stuff I have currently isn't good enough so I shouldn't even bother. Can't jam with friends and create music because it won't sound like a fully finished product, and I know my controlling impulses will make me into a total bitch and I'll micromanage them, which will inevitably cause resentment. Can't hang out with people because I won't perform the correct persona and they will grow to resent me. Can't learn new skills because I'm not good at them yet. Can't use old skills because I won't do it right. Can't enjoy anything without it being so mentally exhausting it's barely worth it. I need to do it RIGHT.
And that's how I end up numbing my brain with mindless content I don't actually care about, because if I don't care about it, I can't really do it "wrong". But then I am failing at being productive, which triggers the OCPD in a different way, and I feel like my skin no longer fits me and I need to crawl in a hole and die.
#ocpd#actually ocpd#Tumblr doesn't have a big ocpd community so this is just me yelling into the void#I never talk about my pd diagnosis openly but I'm having a lot of realizations lately that I feel compelled to talk about#actually mentally ill#personality disorder#of course this also combines with adhd executive dysfunction to create an unholy mess#not to mention other comorbidities
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honestly i think any pairing or relationship i'm obsessed with can be broken down to "if i loved you less i could love you better".
there's always a certain kind of devotion that's so rooted in self-hatred it results in the need to escape from one's life by making it about someone else—and sometimes being terrified by that thought and attempting to escape any genuine connection to the detriment of everyone involved.
which is all deeply unhealthy, obviously, and what makes it interesting & fun.
however, one of the effects is that every now and then one of the characters is so bad at healthy interaction it causes an annoying anger/loose hatred. like i love them. but by god they're a horrible person or act like one when it matters and the other one would be better of without them.
i still want them to fuck though. but i DO have a favourite and a hill i will die on.
#alex yells at the void#does this make any sense whatsoever#dysfunctional relationships are the best#however many people on tumblr are incapable of properly analyzing complex characters#and just fucking uwu-wash genuine issues so the ship still ''''works'''''#like no you're just either stupid or a coward#sorry for having a brain i guess
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ADHD actually fucking sucks because emotional dysregulation makes me wake up mad as hell for no reason.
#emotional dysregulation is on par with executive dysfunction as far as how MUCH I HATE IT#i ran 2 miles thinking it would help and now I'm just mad and sweaty wtf#this shit so ass#adhd#actually adhd#akira screams into the void#FUCK MY FUCK ASS BRAIN I JUST WANNA EXIST
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You HAVE to love the moment after your phone dies and you are left hunched over the screen, your eyes deprived of the blue light to which they have grown accustomed, your mind deprived of the distraction from the horrors of your reality, to behold your own image (reverse Narcissus) in all its double-chinned, acne-scarred, chocolate-stained and cheeto-dusted glory, and horrified by who you have become, and you are full of guilt and (remorse) exhaustion, and you are (entirely, devastatingly) alone, and you blink, and you get up, and you (cry) (look in the mirror?) go plug in your phone and get some more cheetos
No, really, you have to love it. It's the law.
#i dont know what compelled me to write this#but#to be clear#this isnt coming from the old mindset of “all technology is bad and everyone who uses social media is dumb”#because that isnt true and never has been#this is coming from somebody with the kind of mild screen addiction that most people have#who generally enjoys being creative and using entertainment platforms and interacting with people online#but who is also somewhat frustrated with my relationship with my phone#and very frustrated by the way social media and videogames and screens in general are thought of and talked about in the world#screen addiction#phone addiction#relatable#is this relatable?#does anyone feel like this?#im whispering into the void#self awareness#i dont know#i have so much work to do#and my executives are dysfunctioning#i am having a Bad Go of it#its just#its been quite a month#you know?#maybe ill make a ventpost#later tho#all ye who find my ramblings here#have a good day#or night#or else
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i have the worst executive dysfunction of my life rn and it’s making grad school seem impossible. i literally feel so dumb because i can’t complete even the easiest assignments and nothing seems to help. even deadlines don’t work, i’m weeks late on several assignments, and am so anxious about it but that’s not enough to push through it all. i don’t know what to do
#executive dysfunction#literally if anyone has tips PLEASE SHARE#im dying here and i don’t know how to fix it#studyblr#college#grad studies#adhd brain#adhd struggles#adhd problems#screaming into the tumblr void#adhd help
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*screams indefinitely about things that should definitely be under my control but somehow arent*
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tfw you go through an entire day waiting for meetings/calls/people to get back to you just to find 30 minutes before you were supposed to do any given thing that it’s been cancelled so now you���ve wasted the better part of your day waiting & preparing for stuff that didn’t even end up happening and now you have work you have to be doing instead of doing something else that’s actually enjoyable . 🙂
#vent#vagueposting#not about anyone on here but shrug emoji#sigh. I’m so tired of being the person who puts in all the effort to organize stuff with my friends who seem to not care at all.#and I’m so tired of being committed to things that it seems like no one else is#it’s just. disheartening#I don’t usually vent on here but I don’t feel like confronting anyone and I don’t wanna make any of my friends listen to my Woes#I do that too much#so. sorry about the negativity anyone who sees this I just needed to scream into the void for a second ya know#it’s just . it’s not anyone’s fault and shit comes up and people are sometimes just like that. so it’s fine.#but it makes me tired and it stops me from doing stuff I want to be doing#which I know that’s a me problem and partially an executive dysfunction problem and I wish I was able#to not spend all day psyching myself up for an interaction and be able to just drop it and say whatever when it doesn’t end up happening#but that’s not something I can fix in the short run yanno#so. vagueing about it on tumblr I guess is the safest option lol#anyways. back to your regularly scheduled programming as soon as I get out of art block dont worry#I say as if anyone’s gonna read this lol#honestly I hope no one does I’m kind of in a Debbie downer mood rn and I don’t like being like that. which is why I’m putting it here ig#shrug emoji
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me no do work ;-;
#pda autism#executive dysfunction#adhd#someone help me plz#everything is very fucked atm#oh mae oh my#void screaming#autism
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i want to draw something related to I Saw The TV Glow and my ocs or whatever but NO NO I GOTTA FINISH THIS BEFORE I DO THAT!! OR ELSE ILL NEVER GET THE FIRST THING DONE!!!!!! AAGHH!!!!!!!!!!!
#internal conflict :sob:#that and executive dysfunction#HHHEELP#AAAAAAA#i just need to doodle honestly but nothing looks Appealing to draw rn#AHSHJSSHMMYDSYK#SYSKYSJSYKS#SHKSGISJGSKJWGSJG#we. sorry who’s we. i need to stop having dilemmas like this AAAA#shouting into the void cause i need to
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How to be productive
Step 1: get out of bed
Step 2: eat
Step 3: brush teeth
Step 4: find..something to…do…
Step 5: …
Step 6: stare into the void until it stares back at you
Step 7: the void won’t stare back at you because it has executive dysfunction
Step 8: you have executive dysfunction
Step 9: cry
#shitpost#executive dysfunction#productivity#i can’t do anything#because of the void#this is all your fault#you jerk
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The way that all nurses and medical assistants universally possess the inexplicable urge to tell me how young I am. "You're so young!" "And at such a young age?" "Oh you poor thing, huh?" "You're too young to be here!"
I get that you want to express your sympathies re: my shambling corpse, but consider for half a moment that I know how old I am. You don't need to REMIND ME that I'm a solid 2 decades younger than your typical patient, I PROMISE I am Aware of That. I am here to pay a man to quite literally strap on a motherfucking headlamp, get a Tool, and go rooting around inside my rectum. Thank you for making sure everyone in the room knows I'm 22 for some godforsaken reason
#trixree speaks#fun times at the colorectal surgeon for a consult (i am not getting surgery)#but my pelvic floor is likely Dysfunctional#which if i had a tinder would be going in my bio promptly.#cause WOW what a TURN ON#disability tag#chronic illness#yelling at the void#screaming at clouds
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i've had discord notifications turned off for 2 weeks someone tell me to turn em back on i miss my friends
#did it to keep the kids on my work trip from seeing stuff pop up while i had the nav on 💀#my executives are dysfunctional this month send help#shouting into the void here
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