#Voiding Dysfunction

[saentorine]

"I don’t mind paying to use public restrooms because the paid ones are cleaner!” Then you clearly do not experience the profound frequency that can make paying-per-pee an itemized travel expense akin to an extra meal in my food budget, nor the level of urgency that has prevented me from ever turning down a restroom opportunity when I need it, which is constantly. We are not the same.

[cthaehart]

Someone help him

[ghastigiggles]

sebby tickle art? plsplsplsplspls? feed us I beg

what to do when youve got a Mood? go find ol' reliable.

[actual-changeling]

honestly i think any pairing or relationship i'm obsessed with can be broken down to "if i loved you less i could love you better".

there's always a certain kind of devotion that's so rooted in self-hatred it results in the need to escape from one's life by making it about someone else—and sometimes being terrified by that thought and attempting to escape any genuine connection to the detriment of everyone involved.

which is all deeply unhealthy, obviously, and what makes it interesting & fun.

however, one of the effects is that every now and then one of the characters is so bad at healthy interaction it causes an annoying anger/loose hatred. like i love them. but by god they're a horrible person or act like one when it matters and the other one would be better of without them.

i still want them to fuck though. but i DO have a favourite and a hill i will die on.

[crunchsomebones]

I think I'm slowly realizing how much OCPD traits have affected my ability to enjoy things, especially hobbies. I can't draw because I'm too worried I won't do it right. Can't watch TV shows I've wanted to watch for years because I won't enjoy them properly. Can't apply to drag shows unless I have a meticulously planned number that I've rehearsed to death already and also unless I buy that new wig and new foundation, because the stuff I have currently isn't good enough so I shouldn't even bother. Can't jam with friends and create music because it won't sound like a fully finished product, and I know my controlling impulses will make me into a total bitch and I'll micromanage them, which will inevitably cause resentment. Can't hang out with people because I won't perform the correct persona and they will grow to resent me. Can't learn new skills because I'm not good at them yet. Can't use old skills because I won't do it right. Can't enjoy anything without it being so mentally exhausting it's barely worth it. I need to do it RIGHT.

And that's how I end up numbing my brain with mindless content I don't actually care about, because if I don't care about it, I can't really do it "wrong". But then I am failing at being productive, which triggers the OCPD in a different way, and I feel like my skin no longer fits me and I need to crawl in a hole and die.

[thresholdbb]

S7's The Void is vaguely reminiscent of s5's Night, but they show Janeway in a much better mental state, and how much she has learned to ease up on the distance she maintains from her crew as captain.

The openings of the two episodes have a much different tone. In Night, there's a distinct lack of Janeway. She's MIA, and crew is anxious and antsy because of their situation and missing leader. In The Void, they open on a scene of the senior staff enjoying their time together. They're laughing and sharing a meal, teasing each other like a family. Then they're thrust into the anomaly. Both instances of "the void" lack stars, both are potentially long-term situations without a clear means of escape besides getting through it. Night has a tone of uneasy calm, but there are other ships and adversaries in The Void, adding an element of urgency.

When we finally see Janeway in Night, she is kicking herself for her decision making:

CHAKOTAY: We were faced with a difficult choice. We had the means to get home but using it would've put an innocent people at risk, so we decided to stay. JANEWAY: No. No, no. I decided to stay. I made that choice for everyone. CHAKOTAY: We're alive and well, and we've gathered enough data about this quadrant to keep Starfleet scientists busy for decades. Our mission's been a success. JANEWAY: The very same words I've been telling myself for the past four years. But then we hit this Void, and I started to realise how empty those words sound. CHAKOTAY: Kathryn. JANEWAY: I made an error in judgment, Chakotay. It was short-sighted and it was selfish, and now all of us are paying for my mistake.

In The Void, Janeway and Chakotay have a similar conversation, but she accepts her error and her support network with less resistance and less self flagellation. With the urgency of the other attacking ships, there is less mental space to become concerned with mistakes, but her dialogue shoes that it is still a thought that is ever present in her mind.

JANEWAY: Impulsive and self-righteous? Is that what you think? CHAKOTAY: You did what you had to do. JANEWAY: Still, I made a mistake. ... JANEWAY: Maybe not. But if I'd listened to my doubts in the first place, we wouldn't have lost the other two ships. ... CHAKOTAY: B'Elanna and the other engineers are working around the clock to build one. She thinks they'll be ready to test in a couple of days. JANEWAY: So everyone's pulling together to make up for my mistake. CHAKOTAY: They have to. It says so in the Federation Charter.

Granted, it helps that she has some rules to point to for accepting Chakotay's insistence that they're in it together, but the situation in The Void very well could have had her fall back into old patterns we saw in Night. One of the reasons she fights so hard to create and alliance and get the ship and crew out of their situation and back into normal space is because there is an "echo of the void." This time, she isn't as inwardly focused. She is listening to her crew, even when they're being critical. You can see the impulse towards blaming herself for the whole situation, but she's pulled out of her pattern of thinking much easier this time.

[outsideyourhousewithaknife]

You HAVE to love the moment after your phone dies and you are left hunched over the screen, your eyes deprived of the blue light to which they have grown accustomed, your mind deprived of the distraction from the horrors of your reality, to behold your own image (reverse Narcissus) in all its double-chinned, acne-scarred, chocolate-stained and cheeto-dusted glory, and horrified by who you have become, and you are full of guilt and (remorse) exhaustion, and you are (entirely, devastatingly) alone, and you blink, and you get up, and you (cry) (look in the mirror?) go plug in your phone and get some more cheetos

No, really, you have to love it. It's the law.

[maketeaandstudy]

i have the worst executive dysfunction of my life rn and it’s making grad school seem impossible. i literally feel so dumb because i can’t complete even the easiest assignments and nothing seems to help. even deadlines don’t work, i’m weeks late on several assignments, and am so anxious about it but that’s not enough to push through it all. i don’t know what to do

[maepersonal]

me no do work ;-;

[kaleiidoskope]

i want to draw something related to I Saw The TV Glow and my ocs or whatever but NO NO I GOTTA FINISH THIS BEFORE I DO THAT!! OR ELSE ILL NEVER GET THE FIRST THING DONE!!!!!! AAGHH!!!!!!!!!!!

[feralt1me]

How to be productive

Step 1: get out of bed

Step 2: eat

Step 3: brush teeth

Step 4: find..something to…do…

Step 5: …

Step 6: stare into the void until it stares back at you

Step 7: the void won’t stare back at you because it has executive dysfunction

Step 8: you have executive dysfunction

Step 9: cry

[trixree]

The way that all nurses and medical assistants universally possess the inexplicable urge to tell me how young I am. "You're so young!" "And at such a young age?" "Oh you poor thing, huh?" "You're too young to be here!"

I get that you want to express your sympathies re: my shambling corpse, but consider for half a moment that I know how old I am. You don't need to REMIND ME that I'm a solid 2 decades younger than your typical patient, I PROMISE I am Aware of That. I am here to pay a man to quite literally strap on a motherfucking headlamp, get a Tool, and go rooting around inside my rectum. Thank you for making sure everyone in the room knows I'm 22 for some godforsaken reason

[soft-girl-musings]

i've had discord notifications turned off for 2 weeks someone tell me to turn em back on i miss my friends

[louisxleprince]

rewatching the umbrella academy and little did i know i liked klaus so much originally only to grow up to be the drug dependent sibling too. yaaayyy??

[capricioussun]

Thinking. About void. He likes to read. He can't do it for too long at a time since it strains his damaged socket and gives him a headache, but i can imagine, whenever he gets really invested in a book. The tip of his tail will twitch and still and curl in a reflection of his emotions. Same thing probably happens with movies, or just really anything he gets immersed in. His markings might even shift slightly if he’s super invested. Widening slightly in surprise, fuzzing at the edges with happiness, sharpening with tension.

He's always so stoic, but the tells are there. He’s a lot more expressive than he might seem at first.