#Virginia Beach Master Gardeners

[spacenutspod]

The latest crew chosen by NASA to venture on a simulated trip to Mars inside the agency’s Human Exploration Research Analog. From left are Sergii Iakymov, Erin Anderson, Brandon Kent, and Sarah Elizabeth McCandless.Credit: C7M3 Crew NASA selected a new team of four research volunteers to participate in a simulated mission to Mars within HERA (Human Exploration Research Analog) at the agency’s Johnson Space Center in Houston. Erin Anderson, Sergii Iakymov, Brandon Kent, and Sarah Elizabeth McCandless will begin their simulated trek to Mars on Friday, Aug. 9. The volunteer crew members will stay inside the 650-square-foot habitat for 45 days, exiting Monday, Sept. 23 after a simulated “return” to Earth. Jason Staggs and Anderson Wilder will serve as alternate crew members. The HERA missions offer scientific insights into how people react to the type of isolation, confinement, work and life demands, and remote conditions astronauts might experience during deep space missions. The facility supports more frequent, shorter-duration simulations in the same building as CHAPEA (Crew Health and Performance Analog). This crew is the third group of volunteers to participate in a simulated Mars mission in HERA this year. The most recent crew completed its HERA mission on June 24. In total, there will be four analog missions in this series. During this summer’s simulation, participants will perform a mix of science and operational tasks, including harvesting plants from a hydroponic garden, growing shrimp, deploying a small, cube-shaped satellite (CubeSat) to simulate gathering virtual data for analysis, “walking” on the surface of Mars using virtual reality goggles, and flying simulated drones on the simulated Mars surface. The team members also will encounter increasingly longer communication delays with Mission Control throughout their mission, culminating in five-minute lags as they “near” Mars. Astronauts traveling to Mars may experience communications delays of up to 20 minutes. NASA’s Human Research Program will conduct 18 human health experiments during each of the 2024 HERA missions. Collectively, the studies explore how a Mars-like journey may affect the crew members’ mental and physical health. The work also will allow scientists to test certain procedures and equipment designed to keep astronauts safe and healthy on deep space missions. Primary Crew Erin Anderson Erin Anderson is a structural engineer at NASA’s Langley Research Center in Virginia. Her work focuses on manufacturing and building composite structures — using materials engineered to optimize strength, stiffness, and density — that fly in air and space. Anderson earned a bachelor’s degree in Aerospace Engineering from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign in 2013. After graduating, she worked as a structural engineer for Boeing on NASA’s SLS (Space Launch System) in Huntsville, Alabama. She moved to New Orleans to support the assembly of the first core stage of the SLS at NASA’s Michoud Assembly Facility. Anderson received a master’s degree in Aeronautical Engineering from Purdue University in West Lafayette, Indiana, in 2020. She started her current job in 2021, continuing her research on carbon fiber composites. In her free time, Anderson enjoys playing rugby, doting on her dog, Sesame, and learning how to ride paddleboard at local beaches. Sergii Iakymov Sergii Iakymov is an aerospace engineer with more than 15 years of experience in research and design, manufacturing, quality control, and project management. Iakymov currently serves as the director of the Mars Desert Research Station, a private, Utah-based research facility that serves as an operational and geological Mars analog. Iakymov received a bachelor’s degree in Aviation and Cosmonautics and a master’s in Aircraft Control Systems from Kyiv Polytechnic Institute in Ukraine. His graduate research focused on the motion of satellites equipped with pitch flywheels and magnetic coils. Iakymov was born in Germany, raised in Ukraine, and currently splits his time between southern Utah and Chino Hills, California. His hobbies include traveling, running, hiking, scuba diving, photography, and reading. Brandon Kent Brandon Kent is a medical director in the pharmaceutical industry, supporting ongoing global efforts to develop new therapies across cancer types. Kent received a bachelor’s degrees in Biochemistry and Biology from North Carolina State University in Raleigh. He earned his doctorate in Biomedicine from Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City, where his work primarily focused on how genetic factors regulate early embryonic development and cancer development. Following graduate school, Kent moved into scientific and medical communications consulting in oncology, primarily focusing on clinical trial data disclosures, scientific exchange, and medical education initiatives. Kent and his wife have two daughters. In his spare time, he enjoys spending time with his daughters, flying private aircraft, hiking, staying physically fit, and reading. He lives in Kinnelon, New Jersey. Sarah Elizabeth McCandless Sarah Elizabeth McCandless is a navigation engineer for NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Southern California. McCandless’ job involves tracking the location and predicting the future trajectory of spacecraft, including the Mars Perseverance rover, Artemis I, Psyche, and Europa Clipper. McCandless received a bachelor’s in Aerospace Engineering from the University of Kansas in Lawrence, and a master’s in Aerospace Engineering from the University of Texas at Austin, focused on orbital mechanics. McCandless is originally from Fairway, Kansas, and remains an avid fan of sports teams from her alma mater and hometown. She is active in STEM (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics) outreach and education and enjoys camping, running, traveling with friends and family, and piloting Cessna 172s. She lives in Pasadena, California. Alternate Crew Jason Staggs Jason Staggs is a cybersecurity researcher and adjunct professor of computer science at the University of Tulsa. His research focuses on systems security engineering, infrastructure protection, and resilient autonomous systems. Staggs is an editor for the International Journal of Critical Infrastructure Protection and the Critical Infrastructure Protection book series. Staggs supported scientific research expeditions with the National Science Foundation at McMurdo Station in Antarctica. He also previously served as a space engineer and medical officer while working as an analog astronaut in the Hawaii Space Exploration Analog and Simulation (HI-SEAS) atop the Mauna Loa volcano. Staggs received his bachelor’s degree in Information Assurance and Forensics at Oklahoma State University and master’s and doctorate degrees in Computer Science from the University of Tulsa. During his postdoctoral studies at Idaho National Laboratory, Idaho Falls, he investigated electric vehicle charging station vulnerabilities. In his spare time, Staggs enjoys hiking, building radio systems, communicating with ham radio operators in remote locations, and volunteering as a solar system ambassador for NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory — sharing his passion for astronomy, oceanography, and space exploration with his community. Anderson Wilder Anderson Wilder is a Florida Institute of Technology in Melbourne graduate student working on his doctorate in psychology. His research focuses on team resiliency and human-machine interactions. Wilder also works in the campus neuroscience lab, investigating how spaceflight contributes to astronaut neurobehavioral changes. Wilder previously served as an executive officer and engineer for an analog mission at the Mars Desert Research Station in Utah. There, he performed studies related to crew social dynamics, plant growth, and geology. Wilder received bachelor’s degrees in Linguistics and Psychology from Ohio State University in Columbus. He also received a master’s degree in Space Studies from International Space University in Strasbourg, France, and is completing a second master’s in Cognitive Experimental Psychology from Cleveland State University in Ohio. Outside of school, Wilder works as a parabolic flight coach, teaching people how to experience reduced-gravity environments. He also enjoys chess, reading, video games, skydiving, and scuba diving. On a recent dive, he explored a submerged section of the Great Wall of China. ____ NASA’s Human Research Program NASA’s Human Research Program (HRP) pursues the best methods and technologies to support safe, productive human space travel. Through science conducted in laboratories, ground-based analogs, and the International Space Station, HRP scrutinizes how spaceflight affects human bodies and behaviors. Such research drives HRP’s quest to innovate ways to keep astronauts healthy and mission-ready as space travel expands to the Moon, Mars, and beyond. Explore More 2 min read Exploring the Moon: Episode Previews Article 3 days ago 6 min read Voyagers of Mars: The First CHAPEA Crew’s Yearlong Journey  Article 2 weeks ago 5 min read From Polar Peaks to Celestial Heights: Christy Hansen’s Unique Path to Leading NASA’s Commercial Low Earth Orbit Development Program  Article 2 weeks ago Keep Exploring Discover More Topics From NASA Living in Space Artemis Human Research Program Space Station Research and Technology

[finishinglinepress]

NEW FROM FINISHING LINE PRESS: Inflorescence: The Pasture at Rest by Marjorie Gowdy

ADVANCE ORDER: https://www.finishinglinepress.com/product/inflorescence-the-pasture-at-rest-by-marjorie-gowdy/

Marjorie Gowdy writes at home in the Blue Ridge mountains of Callaway, VA. Gowdy was Founding Executive Director of the Ohr-O’Keefe Museum of Art in Biloxi, MS, which she led for 18 years. Now retired, she worked in other fields that fed her love of writing, including as a grants writer. Her poetry has been published in the Roanoke Review (2015), Artemis Journal (2013-2022), Floyd County Moonshine (2021), Valley Voices (Mississippi Valley State University (2021), Indolent Books (2021), Clinch River Review (2021), Visitant-Lit (2021), RockPaperPoem (2022), the book Quilted Poems (2022), the Centennial Anthology of the Poetry Society of Virginia (2022), and in several national anthologies of poetry dedicated to the families of Ukraine. She has essays in Katrina: Mississippi Women Remember (2007). Gowdy also paints, with recent works accepted by the Virginia Beach Artists’ Center (2020), illustrations published in Floyd County Moonshine (20210, in Artemis Journal (a visual poem, 2021), Orange Peel Magazine (2022), and in an exhibition at the Virginia Tech Carilion School of Medicine. Her poems + verse, which she calls carmen duca, were also part of an exhibit, Welcome to Roanoke, in 2022 at the Roanoke, VA, Municipal Building. Gowdy is a summa cum laude graduate of Virginia Tech and has a master’s degree in liberal studies from University of North Carolina-Greensboro. Her work is informed by the tumbled Virginia mountains as well as her time on the Mississippi Gulf Coast and along the coasts of Virginia and North Carolina. She is newsletter editor for the Poetry Society of Virginia.

PRAISE FOR Inflorescence: The Pasture at Rest by Marjorie Gowdy

In Inflorescence: The Pasture at Rest Marjorie Gowdy immerses us in farmland and mountainside, with images and patterns timeless as the land itself. As she ambles “among the chest-high Susans,” or smells the “Flattened streams of smoked ham reach toward the vale,” she pulls us along with her. Marjorie writes the tender side of life, from bees and barn swallows to hands touching “beneath the ivy tree, years wrapped around a patient poplar.” Listen, too, for her condemnation of “Man’s callow disregard,” both for the Earth and for each other. In “A Murmuration” Marjorie writes “‘Tis not wit nor skill that keeps me alive,” but wit and skill are certainly alive in her writing. I for one, dear reader, am grateful Marjorie Gowdy is sharing her wit and wisdom in these poems.

–Pamela Brothers Denyes, Author, The Right Mistakes and The Widow’s Lovers

What a marvelous poet. Marjie Gowdy reminds me of the great Romantic poets, especially, John Clare, for she can name every flower and tree around her. She paints an indelible stamp. Only a seasoned florist and botanist could write powerful nature poems like these. She can be succinct and terse as Emily Dickinson. In thinking about her father in” Inflorescent”, she laments “Flowers return. He does not.” It reminds me of Emily who said “I heard a fly buzz before I died.” Buy this chapbook. It is worth far more than its listed price.

–Maurice Ferguson, Poetry Editor, Artemis

This book reflects the beauty of the natural world based on the knowledge and experiences of a seasoned gardener. The author treats every element nature as though they are old family friends. There is a kindness and appreciation of both the flora and fauna in the author’s world that is captivating and inspiring. The writing is beautiful and takes the reader into a world rich in complexity and subtlety that makes this poetry compelling.

–Peter Haslett Kelly, Poet and Composer

Please share/repost #flpauthor #preorder #AwesomeCoverArt #read #poems #literature #poetry #nature

[wutbju]

Terry Harold Chambers, 80, of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina passed away peacefully Wednesday, May 25, 2022, in Conway, South Carolina.  He was the son of the late Ernest Harold and Dealia Ann (Stewart) Chambers.

He was born in Madison, West Virginia on April 25th, 1942. Terry attended Scott High School and received a Master’s Degree in Education from Bob Jones University. He was formerly married to Brenda Meadow, mother of their son Trent Chambers. He was also formerly married to Carroll Chambers. Terry was a lover of life and lived it fully.  He was a naturally shy person who forced himself to be outgoing. Terry loved fishing but would not go offshore fishing because he became seasick easily. He loved sports, especially golf, yet he self-professed that he had no natural ability to play sports well. Terry liked to be alone, but he was also a lonely person at times.  His favorite vacation was to go to Las Vegas. He liked to play poker and said he was good at it. He loved to watch Westerns and his favorite author was Louis L’Amour. His favorite food was country steak and gravy, and his favorite desert was strawberry shortcake. His favorite bible verse was 2 Timothy 1:12.

He has been described as “a character”, “one of a kind”, and good friend and counselor.

Terry loved his work no matter what he was doing and gave his all to the tasks at hand. Terry has many accomplishments to be proud of in his life including having been a Secondary Education Teacher and Vice Principal of Colonial Christian Schools in Homestead, Florida.  He had been an instructor and a recruiter for Greenville Technical College in Greenville, South Carolina; and a recruiter for Horry Georgetown Technical College in Conway, South Carolina. Terry had served as the Civil Service Commissioner for the Deputy Sheriffs’ Association of West Virginia.  He had served as Municipal Judge for the City of Madison, West Virginia, and as a Justice of the Peace for Boone County, West Virginia.  He had served as a Magistrate in Greenville County, South Carolina where he was appointed by Governor John West upon nomination and recommendation of then State  Senator, Carroll Campbell.  He had served as Chief Judge for Administration in Greenville, South Carolina and as an instructor at the Criminal Justice Academy for the South Carolina Court Administration. Terry also served on the Horry County Council in District 6 where he was elected in 1994 and re-elected in 1998.

Terry moved to Myrtle Beach, South Carolina in 1985 where he opened T.C. Bail Bonds.  He and Al Bragg ran that business until he was elected to Horry County Council. Terry worked in the Time Share industry for the past two decades where he became a legendary salesman who was able to travel the world doing something that he loved.  He won many awards and became affectionately known as “Judge” to many in that industry.

Terry was a member of Grand Strand Baptist Church.  His was a faithful servant of God who is now Home with his Savior.

Survivors include his son, Trenton H. Chambers, daughter-in-law, Jennifer Simmons Chambers, and two granddaughters, Allyssa Chambers and Marley Chambers.

Private entombment will be at Southern Palms Memorial Gardens in North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

A Celebration of Life Ceremony will be held at a later date and will be announced.

In lieu of flowers, memorials should be made to Grand Strand Baptist Church or your favorite local charity.

[webtalkblog]

Best Golf Resorts in the United States

Golf is one of the most popular sports in America, and for good reason. It’s easy to pick up and even easier to play. What’s not to love? If you’re looking for a great way to spend a weekend or week, golf is definitely an option worth exploring. And although there are scores of golf resorts across the US, which one should you choose? To help you decide, we’ve compiled a list of the best golf resorts in the US. From championship courses to stunning settings, these resorts will have your game up and running in no time.

Best golf resorts in the United States

The United States has some of the best golf resorts in the world. Here are five of the top golf resorts in the United States.

1. Pebble Beach Golf Links - This is one of the most famous golf courses in America and it's also one of the most expensive. The course is steep and difficult, but it offers a very unique experience for golfers.

2. The Greenbrier Resort - This resort is located in West Virginia and it has a beautiful layout that includes many water hazards. It's always crowded, so be prepared for long wait times to play this course.

3. Sawgrass Mills - This resort is located in Pompano Beach, Florida and it has a very enjoyble layout that includes many lakes and ponds. There's also a tricky green that can challenge even expert golfers.

4. The Olympic Club - This exclusive club features a challenging 18-hole course that's located in San Francisco Bay Area. It can get quite windy at times, so be prepared for gusts up to 50 mph!

5. Merion Golf Club - This championship-caliber course is located near Philadelphia and it offers an amazing view of the cityscape from every hole on the course. The greens are well-manicured, making this one of America's best golf experiences and perfect for couples looking for a romantic getaway!

How to choose the best golf resort

One of the most important factors to consider when choosing a golf resort is your budget. A wide range of resorts from affordable options like The Golf Club at Pelham Gardens in Alabama to more luxurious resorts like Augusta National offer great experiences for every golfer's wallet.

Some factors to consider include amenities and features, course layout, greens fees, and location. Many golfers prefer resorts with a lengthier course layout, while others are looking for venues closer to their home or office. Greens fees can also vary widely based on the type of course offered as well as the time of year you visit.

When narrowing down your search, it's important to consider not only the best golf courses in your area but also the best amenities available at each resort. Some popular features include championship caliber courses, extensive golf facilities and lots of recreational activities including pools, tennis courts and spas. The Golf Club at Pelham Gardens offers nine world-class championship courses within 30 minutes of Birmingham, Alabama making it one of the most convenient resorts for golfers in the Southeast.

Tips for playing the best golf course

Playing the best golf course comes down to knowing your game, and finding the right course. Here are a few tips for playing the best golf courses in America:

-Know your capabilities. The first step is to figure out what you're capable of. This means learning your handicap, as well as your individual strengths and weaknesses. If you have trouble with long shots or short holes, for example, find a course that plays differently than your usual play area.

-Pay attention to details. Next, focus on taking in all the important details of each hole. Do you see any hidden hazards? Are there trees in difficult positions? Is there water on any of the green areas? Knowing these details can help improve your chances of making a good shot.

-Master the art of Putting. One critical aspect of playing great golf is putting - making sure that every stroke goes where you want it to go on the green. Practice makes perfect here! Work on improving your stroke by playing different putting greens and using practice balls that simulate different conditions.

-Stay positive. No matter how poorly you're playing - or how frustrating a hole may be - never give up hope! Keep an upbeat attitude, and try not to focus too much on how well others are doing (or aren't doing). Instead, just take it one hole at a time and let your own game take over.

Conclusion

If you're thinking about taking your game to the next level, then a golf resort in the United States might be the perfect place for you. Not only are they some of the best courses in the world, but most of them offer great facilities and services that will make your stay an unforgettable experience. You can find a comprehensive list of US golf resorts on our website, so be sure to take a look before making your travel plans. For more information click here Best golf resorts in USA.

[princessannelocavore]

On May Flowers, Butterflies, and Borage

On May Flowers, Butterflies, and Borage

This month’s been a roller coaster ride of temperatures. After several days of northeast wind, pounding surf, and cool temperatures, it suddenly turned unseasonably hot last week Then, just as suddenly, the temperature plummeted and the wind and rain rolled back again. Now, the sun’s out, and I’ve had a chance to take a look at all of the changes the late spring has brought to my garden. I’ve…

[outoftowninac]

A SUCCESSFUL CALAMITY

1940

A Successful Calamity is a two-act comedy by Clare Kummer first produced in 1917. 

Clare Beecher Kummer (1873-1958) was the great niece of American writer Harriet Beecher Stowe (Uncle Tom’s Cabin). In addition to being a playwright (mostly of comedies), Kummer also wrote music and lyrics for the theatre. Perhaps her most successful play was Her Master’s Voice (1933), which was filmed in 1936 and was twice made for television. 

The entire play takes place in the Wilton home in New York. In it, a wealthy industrialist (Henry Wilton) tests the loyalty of his spoiled children and selfish wife by pretending to be broke.

The original production opened on Broadway at the Booth Theatre on February 5, 1917. Produced by Arthur Hopkins, the cast featured William Gillette (Kummer’s cousin) as Henry Wilton and Estelle Winwood, as Emma Wilton. It ran 144 performances. The play took the summer off and returned on October 10, 1917, this time at the Plymouth Theatre (now the Gerald Schoenfeld).  

In February 1934 there was a revival at the Cherry Lane Theatre (now considered off-Broadway) starring Paul Gilmore as Henry and his real-life daughter Virginia Gilmore as Emily, Mr. Wilton’s daughter. In addition to owning and managing the Cherry Lane Theatre, Mr. Gilmore also produced and directed the production.  

A new production of A Successful Calamity opened in Atlantic City at the Garden Pier Theatre on July 29, 1940. It starred Walter Hampden, dubbed ‘the first gentleman of the stage’. By 1940, the Garden Pier Theatre was one of the last legit venues in Atlantic City to be programming live theatre, albeit only in the summertime. Instead of new plays, the Garden Pier presented established Broadway hits with name stars aimed at vacationers. 

This was Hampden’s Atlantic City debut. 

Walter Hampden (1870-1955) was a classically-trained actor who had played Hamlet three times on Broadway. In 1925 he took over management of a vaudeville house on Upper Broadway, and renamed it Hampden's Theatre. Hampden was president of the Players' Club for 27 years. He was nominated for a Primetime Emmy Award in 1952. 

The production was supposed to kick off in Mount Kisco NY on July 15, 1940, but postponed due to Hampden’s film work in Hollywood. Instead, it began on July 23rd at the New Brighton Theatre in Brighton Beach, NY. 

“What was sharp and up-to-the-minute in '17 seems to need a shot in the arm in 1940. Little comedies like this should trot along briskly but last night, particularly in the first act, the cast frequently seemed to be dragging it along by the halter.” ~ ROBERT FRANCIS, BROOKLYN DAILY EAGLE

Hampden’s supporting cast included: Mildred Baker, Alexander Campbell, Arthur Tell, Norman Stuart, Robert Kerr, Henry Mawbray, Harry Neville, Arden Young, Tamara Choate, and Florence Young. David Leonard directed the production.

In November, Hamden and the production launched an extensive tour of the Southern States starting in Hagerstown MD. During the tour, Hamden was also appearing on movie screens in Cecil B. DeMille’s North West Mounted Police, alongside Gary Cooper and Lon Chaney Jr. 

In 1932 a feature film adaptation was released starring George Arliss and Mary Astor. 

The film opened in Atlantic City at the Warner Theatre on the Boardwalk on September 17, 1932. 

[sagiow]

Mercy Street - Hallmark Edition

For Mercy Street Hallmark Movie day, here are the synopses of the Luke MacFarlane Christmas movies recast in Mansion House based solely on their names (no cheating, the only one I’ve watched is The Mistletoe Promise). And because it’s 2020 and the Hallmark Channel still won’t, I’ve made them all LGBTQ.

Chateau Christmas (lol ok I Iike that one)

Through a mysterious letter, still-mourning-although-it’s-been-two-years widow Mary Phinney finds out that she inherited a small, struggling vineyard and ramshackle chateau from Gustav’s unknown great-aunt in Alsace, and decides to put her veterinary practice on old for a month to evaluate her new assets. There she meets - and butts heads with -  the winery’s exacting yet artistic master vintner, Lisette Beaufort, whose guarded, veneered exterior hides also a grieving heart. Will their common care for the vineyard’s survival, appreciation for art and Gewurtzstraminer, and the magical Christmas season in picturesque Strasbourg make allies - et peut-être plus - out of these two women?

Secret scoop: Expect plenty of outdated, Emily In Paris-style French stereotypes and swooping views of Alsace that were actually shot in British Columbia.

Sense, Sensibility & Snowmen (FFS)

Following their mother’s second, ruin-saving marriage to her distant cousin, Sir Alfred Summers,  Emma and Alice Greenwood move from their native Virginia to his estate in Connecticut. There, Alice is swept on a whirlwind romance with the dashing Captain Willoughby Tallboots, under the melancholy eyes of retired officer Colonel Bullen, while Emma silently pines for her best friend and secret love, Isabella Friars. More distant cousins appear with convoluted relationships, passive-aggressive exchanges over long country walks and they probably go for a fortnight to Bath Newport before it all ends happily in a double wedding.

Bonus scene: Colin Firth emerges from the frozen lake in a wet shirt (Wrong movie? Don’t care.)

Maggie’s McBurney’s Christmas Miracle (ugh so cheesy)

Clay McBurney had landed the hottest deal of the season: planning the upstate New York wedding of Virginia heiress Emma Green to local war hero Henry Hopkins. He has booked the best location : Mansion House Lodge. It has everything: rustic yet elegant charm, breathtaking views, killer cellar, and a top celebrity chef, Pink Erton (yes, they’re that Pink Erton). However, he soon learns that Pink and him don’t exactly see eye to eye on how the Lodge should run the year’s biggest event. With a major snowstorm threatening to bring utter chaos to his carefully laid out perfect plans, and the bride’s family, total Armageddon, perhaps Matt Brannan, the gardener who used to be their army general (and could also be Santa) can help bring the magic back and save the day.... A musical ensues. 

Secret scoop: Some themes sound maybe kinda similar to Christmas Chateau? Of course they do: it’s a Hallmark Christmas movie!

The Mistletoe Promise (this one I’ve actually watched (thanks @fericita-s!) so real plot adapted)

Henry Hopkins wants to make partner at his law firm, but the company has a policy of promoting only “good family men with proper conservative values”, and he is happily single - and very, very gay. Jed Foster is running his travel agency with his ex-wife, Eliza, who now has the most irritating and single-brain celled new boyfriend, Byron. As this wasn’t bad enough, the Christmas party season is upon then, and showing up solo is not option. After meeting and commiserating in a mall food court, the two men enter an agreement to be each other’s "+1″ for the holidays to stick it to their workplaces. Could this “strictly business” arrangement (and weekend getaways to Christmassy NYC with horse-drawn carriage rides and a hotel suite with only one bed) lead to more?

Bonus scene: Henry teaches Jed how to ice-skate (shot on a shitty greenscreen + treadmill with no appreciation whatsoever of how one actually moves on skates)

Christmas Land (well that’s just terribly vague)

Real Estate developer Anne Hastings hates Christmas, which is why she always gets TF out of Chicago to spend it on a white sandy beach with many-a sweet drink and many-er sexy strangers. However, this year, her firm has the opportunity of purchasing land next to the little town of Nowell, close to the Canadian border in Vermont, to turn it into a giant, duty-free, fireworks-and-booze-and-pot selling outlet mall, and she is shipped out to strike the deal. There, she meets Charlotte Jenkins, the Georgia girl who always dreamt of a white Christmas, and who came all the way North after her husband died to open a florist/bookstore/coffeeshop, raise her two children, and hey, write a novel, why TF not, in the town she lovingly calls Christmas Land. Will Charlotte’s bright eyed goodness, delicious hot chocolate and adorable -and hammy, over-acting- kids make Anne discover the true meaning of Christmas... and perhaps even true love?

Bonus scene: There is a snowball fight that ends with them slipping and falling one on top of the other, with their laughter fading in an oh... oh moment, that’s interrupted by a kid before it gets anywhere interesting.

A Shoe Addict’s Christmas (uuuuugh whyyyyy)

Byron Hale loves shoes. He looooves them. He can never have enough, but his small bakery barely makes enough to cover rent and supplies. All this changes when he decides to take part in the Great Gingerbread Bake-Off, which whisks him off in magical Genosovia, a non-descript European country where people speak in Britishish accents. There, he meets Samuel Diggs, another competitor in the contest, whose lebkuchen with royal *wink wink* icing is the stuff of legends. Despite himself and the romance of Old Québec City Europe, Byron cannot help but slowly fall for the sweet, kind, really really ridiculously good-looking adversary. But perhaps there is something more regal *nudge nudge* to good ol��� Sam?

Bonus scene: Flour fight while baking something festive, which ends with Samuel pinning Byron to the fridge, their laughter fading in an oh... oh moment -ah crap just used that one already... ok, so let’s go with grandiose decorations in the palac---- huh town hall.

Secret scoop: Sam is a Prince. Oh that’s not a scoop? Nor secret? Damnit.

Of course, all first kisses occurs in the last scene of the movie under the mistletoe, softly falling (fake) snow and a jazzy rendition of a classic Christmas tune.

[loveburnsbrighter]

Live In Your Heart

requested by @i-dont-even-effing-know-anymore. hope you enjoy! 💕

read it on ao3

"We're not setting up the wifi yet," Patrick says.  He's got his Stern Face on, which usually means fun things, but sometimes, unfortunately, means that David will be required to do work.  This seems to be one of those times.

"But babe," he says, wheedling, "how will I order pizza if I don't have wifi?"  He brandishes his phone. "I ran out of data in New York last week." He went with Alexis to help her settle in — it's been a strain, her moving right before he and Patrick were set to, and he's frankly exhausted, physically and emotionally.  "We promised Stevie pizza," he adds, as if he can convince Patrick that his motivation is purely selfless.

Patrick plucks the phone right out of his hand.  "I'll call them," he says. "You remember, how we ordered pizza back in the nineties?  By calling?"

"Ugh, don't remind me."  David leans back against a towering stack of boxes, ignoring Patrick's pained look, and sighs heavily.  "Alright, fine. We might as well get this done. Bedroom first, or kitchen?"

"We can put Stevie on kitchen duty when she gets here," Patrick says.  "Bedroom now." He pauses for a moment, and then smiles slowly, like he can't help it.  "Our bedroom," he says, and David wouldn't generally describe Patrick as a particularly jovial person, but he looks downright giddy.

David honestly can't blame him, feels that a little bit too, at the words.  He's spent a lot of time at Patrick's place, and for the last month or so he's lived there fully, barring his four days in New York with Alexis.  But it was still Patrick's place, no matter how at-home David made himself there.  (Very.)  

This is their place.  David and Patrick's home.  David and Patrick's bedroom.

"Our bedroom," he agrees, and grabs a box, following Patrick down the hall.

Their bedroom is, thus far, more or less a big empty cube.  There's a weird alcove with the window in it that Patrick has been insisting he wants a window seat for, and the master bathroom door is on the wall kitty-corner to the bedroom door.  David has been pleased (thrilled) to note that the whole thing comes with a lovely little walk-in closet; it's not huge, but it's easily three or four times the size of the closet back in Patrick's studio.

The movers brought in Patrick's bed yesterday and set it up against the far wall, and David and Patrick slept on the mattress on the floor at Patrick's place.  "Okay, first things's first," David says, dropping his box in the middle of the floor. Patrick pointedly pushes it against a wall, and David ignores him. "Where are the sheets?  Because we can not sleep on dirty sheets our first night in the new house, Patrick."

"Actually," Patrick says, "about that."  He's barely trying to hide a shit-eating grin, and it makes David immediately wary.

"What," he says heavily.

"Okay, don't be mad," Patrick says, which tells David that he probably should be, "I should have talked to you probably but I wanted it to be a surprise," and he rushes through the words to keep David from interrupting.  "I used all the money my grandparents gave us for our wedding and bought that flax-linen Pottery Barn set you wanted." 

David gasps, because he has wanted that bed set so badly — fair trade linens in gorgeous soft sandy beige — but Patrick has insisted every time David has argued that it's frivolous to spend more than a hundred dollars on sheets.  Their current sheets are from Target.  "Like, the sheets —"

"The whole bed set," Patrick says, looking inordinately pleased with himself.  "The sheets, the duvet and shams — I didn't get the dust ruffle because my bed frame —" But David doesn't get to hear about the dust ruffle because he's quite literally launching himself into Patrick's arms and kissing him. 

Patrick makes a soft, surprised noise, not quite a laugh, and lifts his hands to hold David by the waist.  He pulls back just a little, letting David kiss down his jaw, to say, "So you're not mad?"

"Linen sheets," David mumbles against his Adam's apple.  He pulls back to smile down at Patrick, and Patrick is smiling back, radiant in a way that David never saw him before they got engaged, a way that he's seen more and more since they decided to buy the house.  "Okay," he says, schooling himself, because if they do what he wants to do — which is tackle Patrick onto the bare mattress in their empty bedroom and thoroughly christen the house — then they'll never get to all the things they have to do.  "Well, where are the new sheets, because they have to be washed before we can use them."

Patrick helps David wrestle the new bedding out of its insane packaging, and then builds a little fort in the tiny laundry room out of all the cardboard while David starts a load.  He's relieved every second that the previous owners left their washer and dryer — they're both done with public laundry for the foreseeable future.

They grab another box each to haul into the bedroom on the way back down the hall; the bed and dressers are there already, and a single bookcase.  David has already been in to clean the closet and repaper the shelves in there, and they've agreed that they don't want to paint the bedroom; it came a creamy off-white that feels warm and soft, somehow.

David puts on music — he's made a playlist just for this, full of high-energy, multigenerational pop, Tina and Britney and Mariah all sharing space.  At some point Patrick logged into their shared Spotify — purely an economic choice; David didn't want Patrick's music fucking up his Wrapped, but that's not really worth ten bucks a month — and added Mumford and Sons and Bryan Adams and the Beach Boys, because Patrick has no sense of thematic or genre consistency.  It's fine, he supposes; when you love someone, you're willing to compromise for them.  

"'Framed wall art and photos - bedroom,'" Patrick says out loud, reading off the Sharpie label on a box.  "Maybe we should save this one until we've got the basics together?"

"Okay," David agrees over an infuriatingly long banjo solo.  "This one is your books?" Patrick gestures and David slides it over, watches him produce a knife from his pocket and slice open the top.

By the time Stevie strolls through the door, helpfully using her emergency key, they've mostly got the bedroom together.  The mattress pad and sheets are on, with the duvet set in the dryer, and Patrick's books and David's books are commingled on the shelf, which David is alarmingly pleased by — they're married, but the sight of his Virginia Woolf next to Patrick's Agatha Christie makes him feel warm from the inside out.

"I picked up the pizza," Stevie shouts.  "You owe me forty bucks in reimbursement!"

David skids down the hall, eager for pizza, with Patrick behind him.

"How in the name of god did you spend forty bucks on pizza?"  Patrick wants to know.

Stevie shrugs, hugging him as David relieves her of the boxes.  "I got garlic knots."

"And cheese bread," David says gleefully, spreading the boxes on the table.  "And one of those big cookies."

Patrick sighs after him but dutifully digs three beers out of the fridge.  (They set up all the appliances and TVs yesterday.) (All that's in the fridge so far is beer, a single head of lettuce, and a few bottles of green juice.)  David accepts his beer with minimal distasteful nose-scrunching.

They make short work of lunch, and Patrick sets Stevie up in the kitchen with a roll of shelf paper and more boxes than he'd ever thought he could fill with kitchen stuff; the dishes from his apartment, of course, and then they'd gotten a lot of the classic appliance wedding gifts: a brand new blender, a four-slice toaster ("but what will you use?" David had asked), an upright mixer, a block of knives with marble handles that Patrick is actually thrilled with.

David finishes making the bed, and then he just stands and stares at it for a second; he can't wait for Patrick to have sex with him in these sheets in this bedroom, but he also can't wait for Patrick to cuddle with him in this bed.  Watch movies with him. Hold him close and fall asleep with an arm slung low over his waist.

Patrick comes up behind him and settles warm hands on his hips, and David leans back into the touch.  "Stevie and I want to get started on the living room," Patrick says, hooking his chin over David's shoulder.  "You just about done in here?"

David crosses his arms across his own waist and takes Patrick's hands, swaying.  One of Patrick's songs is playing from David's tiny speaker. I've been so happy loving you, Dennis Wilson croons into the space, less echoey than it was earlier before they got their pictures up.  He looks around at their new room; the receipt from their first date is already on the bookshelf, and there's a framed poster for that first open mic night, and one from Alexis' singles week.  These are all things from Patrick's apartment; all this time, he's been collecting little souvenirs for them. Stepping stones tracing the path of their relationship. There's a framed wedding invitation, too, and photos: from the store opening, Patrick's birthday, their bachelor party, their wedding.

Even after David landed in Schitt's Creek without a paddle, if he'd been asked to describe his future, he would have crafted a life more or less like the one he'd left: galleries and parties, a drugged-out A-list entourage, globetrotting in the wake of Alexis' endless stream of near misses.  He never could have imagined this: a house in a small town, a business heavily patronized by flannel-clad locals, a single friend who loved him enough to help him move. Alexis settled in one place, his parents settled in another, weekly Facetime calls.  

Five gold rings on his fingers, the most beautiful man he's ever seen in Costco jeans, holding him and swaying and singing softly in his ear: "Forever, together my love…"  A sedan that clicks in the driveway, blueprints for a vegetable garden.  All the Ricky-and-Lucy trappings of a good life, things he never would have expected to love.  

"You won," Stevie told him a few months ago, when he brought her here to sit in the driveway and pour out his heart.  And David can hear her clanking dishes together downstairs, and Patrick is warm against his back, and the song is fading out the way that slow seventies rock does, and David knows, bone-deep, unshakeably, that she was right.

[laurent-maubert-cayla-blog]

Laurent Maubert Cayla : my passion for Miami

The passion of Laurent maubert cayla for  Miami

wants you to discover his passion for laurent maubert cayla miami For laurent maubert cayla Miami is one of the most popular seaside resorts in the United States. laurent maubert cayla miami  is located in the southeast of the state of Florida.laurent maubert cayla miami  is derived from an Indian word whose meaning is “fresh water”. For Laurent Maubert Cayla, this coastal city is bordered by the Atlantic Ocean. The density of its population makes of it the second city of Florida (behind Jacksonville).

Founded in 1836, Miami is a port city. It is home to the world’s leading port in terms of cruise passengers. “Passage of the Americas” is the nickname given to Miami because of its relations with the rest of the American continent, both economically, linguistically and culturally

Miami History

For laurent maubert cayla miami is a city popular with the fortunate industries of sport and entertainment. Ranked fourth in the country’s gateways, the city is home to two international airports, one of which is home to 35 million passengers each year. Miami is a city very popular with tourists. In addition, it does not lack assets. Selection by Laurent Maubert Cayla of the best areas of Miami, Downtown Miami Easily recognizable by its skyscrapers Downtown Miami is not only downtown Miami, but also the third largest business district in the country.

This neighborhood includes the Port of Miami, the Brickell area, Watson Island and Virginia Key which is famous for its water activities. Museum park, American Airlines Arena and Bayside Marketplace are well known locations in Downtown Miami for Laurent Maubert Cayla.

Laurent Maubert Cayla

Midtown Miami covers the area of ​​Wynwood, Overtown and Edgewater. Like Laurent Maubert Cayla Many artists love this neighborhood. The most fortunate residents are in the Design District, an area renowned for its many galleries and its Institute of Contemporary Art according to Laurent Maubert Cayla. The population of Midtown Miami is made up of Hispanic, White and Caribbean communities.

Miami BeachFor

He  is a must see for those who want to discover Miami, Miami Beach is formed by a barrier island and 16 islands along the coast. The area is famous for its beach and its many nightclubs. Miami Beach is one of the most popular international DJs. For art lovers, a visit to the Bass Museum of Art is recommended. For shoppers, the Lincoln Road Mall should be part of the itineraries.

Little HavanaLocated east of laurent maubert cayla miami in city center Little Havana or Little Havana is the area where there are Cuban merchants. Souvenir shops, cigar shops and Cuban restaurants line the streets of Little Havana. Every last Friday of the month, cultural festivities called “Los Viernes Culturales” are held in this neighborhood. For Laurent Maubert Cayla it is a great opportunity to discover the city and its cultural treasures.

Little HaitiA district very colorful and very Haitian

For Laurent Maubert Cayla Little Haiti plunges you into a world apart where the shops are of a bright color. He is the cultural center of the Haitian diaspora in Florida. Little Haiti is however inhabited by members of mafia networks and gangs. It is one of the poorest neighborhoods in the city

South MiamiFor

it is in this part of Miami that are the residential neighborhoods of the wealthy of the city. It includes Coral Way and Coconut Grove. The first was founded in 1922, while the second in 1825. Much of the homes in South Miami are European-style. Coconut Grove has several restaurants, nightclubs and shops.Miami’s must-haves

Vizcaya Museum & GardensThe Vizcaya

Museum and Gardens are located in Coconut Grove and overlook Biscayne Bay. It is recognizable by its European architectural style comparable to a 16th-century North-Italian villa. It formerly served as a winter residence for Laurent Maubert Cayla an important American businessman. There are beautiful gardens combining French and Italian style, decorated with statues and fountains.

Wynwood WallsFor

Is considered among the most casual neighborhoods in the US, Wynwood immerses you in the heart of street art. Many artists’ studios and art galleries are visible. This neighborhood is best known for its Wynwood Walls, or Wynwood Walls, where graffiti artists from around the world show off their talents.

MetromoverThe metromover is a small sky train that overlooks the traffic and gives you a magnificent view of Downtown. Omni Loop takes you north, Inner Loop goes around the city center and Brickell Loop leads you south. For Laurent Maubert Cayla, the biggest advantage of the Miami tram is that each trip is free. Pérez Art Museum AdmissionFormerly Center For Fine Arts, Pérez Art Museum Miami (PAMM) is a museum of contemporary art that is now part of the Dowtown Miami’s Museum Park. It houses a rich collection of works by great masters such as Morris Louis, Laurent Maubert Cayla, Wifredo Lam, Carlos Alfonzo, George Segal, Frank Stella, etc.

[andimthedad]

Road Trip: Oh, the Places You’ll Go

On our 10,000-mile road trip, we saw dozens of sights and stopped in more than 30 states. Along the way, we marked our route and several stops on a fold-out paper map, above. Here’s a list of almost everything...

Lolo Pass, Idaho: historical site in the Bitterroot Mountains where Lewis and Clark passed during their explorations.

Berkeley Pit Mine, Berkeley, Montana: one of the largest and most expensive Superfund pollution sites in America.

Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming: Mammoth Hot Springs, Old Faithful, wild bison, and more at America’s first national park.

Medicine Wheel, Big Horn National Forest, Wyoming: a Native American religious site, thousands of years old and still used today.

Crazy Horse Memorial, Crazy Horse, South Dakota: still carving a mountain into the likeness of the famous warrior.

Ken’s Minerals & Trading Post, Custer, South Dakota: a nice rock shop where we probably bought too much.

Mount Rushmore National Memorial, Keystone, South Dakota: four stony-faced presidents carved into a mountain.

Wall Drug Store, Wall, South Dakota: famous for its free ice water and legions of billboards.

Badlands National Park, Rapid City, South Dakota: beautiful and alien landscapes, all at the same time.

Prairie Homestead, Philip, South Dakota: a preserved frontier house made out of sod.

Dignity Statue, Chamberlain, South Dakota: a 50-foot-tall Native American woman.

World’s Only Corn Palace, Mitchell, South Dakota: where people nail corn cobs to the wall as art.

Mall of America, Bloomington, Minnesota: the largest shopping mall in America, and one of the largest in the world.

Cady Cheese, Wilson, Wisconsin: yummy cheese made here (and, in our case, consumed here).

Chicago, Illinois: the Sears/Willis Tower, Lake Michigan, Cloud Gate, Buckingham Fountains, Chicago-style pizza, elevated trains, and more.

Grand Rapids, Michigan: to visit relatives.

Flint, Michigan: site of a serious water crisis that symbolizes all kinds of issues around government, racism, and economics.

Henry Ford Museum, Dearborn, Michigan: highlights all kinds of positive Ford achievements, and included a tour of the nearby Rouge plant that produces F-150 trucks.

Cudell Recreation Center, Cleveland, Ohio: site where Tamir Rice, a black child, was murdered by a white cop a few years ago; a memorable example in the debates around police brutality.

Presque Isle State Park, Erie, Pennsylvania: beautiful beaches overlooking Lake Erie.

Niagara Falls, New York: amazing waterfall experiences at America’s first state park.

Schenectady, New York: to visit relatives.

Hogback Mountain, Vermont: saw the so-called “100 mile view”.

Maine: from Portland’s Commercial and Exchange Streets, to whale watching in Boothbay Harbor, to beaches, to all kinds of seafood… and side trips to Cape Cod, Massachusetts, the White Mountains of New Hampshire, and more. Saw a lot of relatives too.

Naismith Basketball Hall of Fame, Springfield, Massachusetts: honoring the masters of the game at its birthplace.

Yale University, New Haven, Connecticut: we drove through the campus, so the kids can now say they went to Yale.

Jersey City, New Jersey: to visit relatives.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: climbing the “Rocky Steps” and enjoying genuine Philly Cheesesteak.

Washington, DC: the White House; monuments to Lincoln and Washington; memorials for World War II and Vietnam; the Holocaust Museum; the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum; the Museum of the Bible; the U.S. Capitol; and more.

Rotunda, University of Virginia, Charlottesville, Virginia: Thomas Jefferson’s historic building at the university he founded.

Claudia Sanders Dinner House, Shelbyville, Kentucky: the original KFC.

Farmington Historic Plantation, Louisville, Kentucky: owned by the Speed family, who had ties to Lincoln, Jefferson, and Washington.

Kentucky Derby Museum, Churchill Downs, Louisville, Kentucky: learning about the legends of the sport, as well as the money.

Gateway Arch, St. Louis, Missouri: as seen from the Malcolm W. Martin Memorial Park, East St. Louis, Illinois.

Pappy’s Smokehouse, St. Louis, Missouri: considered by some to be the best BBQ ribs in the country.

Percival, Iowa: a farm community representative of flooding that has plagued the Midwest this year.

Henry Doorly Zoo and Aquarium, Omaha, Nebraska: the world’s biggest zoo did not disappoint.

World’s Largest Ball of Twine, Cawker City, Kansas: yep.

Pike’s Peak, Cascade, Colorado: one of the most famous mountains in America, and at 14,000+ feet, the highest we’ve ever been outside of an airplane.

Mesa Verde National Park, Mesa Verde, Colorado: amazing cliffside homes built almost a thousand years ago by Native Americans.

Four Corners Monument, Teec Nos Pos, Arizona: where you can stand (or sit, or bounce a ball) in four states at once.

Arches National Park, Moab, Utah: beautiful, alien rock formations.

Moab Isolation Center Ruins, Moab, Utah: site of a Japanese internment concentration camp during World War II.

Dinosaur Quarry Visitor Center, Jensen, Utah: seeing and touching the fossils of giant dinosaurs, still embedded in the ground.

Temple Square, Salt Lake City, Utah: Mormon HQ.

Great Salt Lake State Park, Magna, Utah: the city’s namesake, and some of the saltiest water on earth.

ATK Rocket Garden, Northrop Grumman, Corinne, Utah: examples of various rockets and missiles, including Space Shuttle booster engine parts.

As I emphasized to the kids over and over, we are only seeing a glimpse of everything. We could spend a week or more visiting many of these places.

We also stopped in all of the following states, including our beginning and end:

Washington

Idaho

Montana

Wyoming

South Dakota

Minnesota

Iowa

Wisconsin

Illinois

Indiana

Michigan

Ohio

Pennsylvania

New York

Vermont

New Hampshire

Maine

Massachusetts

Connecticut

New Jersey

Maryland

Delaware

Washington, DC

Virginia

West Virginia

Kentucky

Missouri

Nebraska

Kansas

Colorado

Utah

Oregon

Does DC count as a separate state? Maybe.  The kids did their trip activities there. And if you want to count New Mexico and Arizona from our visit to Four Corners, then we’re up to 34 states... though the kids did not do their activities there.

We didn’t go to North Dakota, choosing South Dakota instead for our eastbound trip.  And we didn’t realize it until it was too late, but we completely forgot about visiting Rhode Island. Sorry, Rhode Islanders!  Ironically, it is the only state that actually has the sound of “road” in its name.

Of course, as I asked in one of the FAQs... Does It Really Count As “Visiting” A State If You Only Drive Through A Little Piece Of It? 

--

Read notes from every day of the road trip:

Eastward: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

Westward: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.

And various posts from the FAQ.

[ephemeradio-here-to-staydio]

2018

January --

Trip to Florida with Grandma in the first week. Dark when we leave New York. The under-the-belly fly away feeling when the plane takes off. The loudness of the plane (I didn’t remember it being that loud). There is no forgetting that we are in a giant metal tube barreling through the air. Florida is strange. The warmth is unnatural. I realize I’ve finally come to accept New York winters and the beauty of rest. Florida lives in a state of constant temperance. The trees look exhausted. 

We stay in a giant apartment complex next to eight or nine similar buildings on the same street that runs parallel to the ocean front. They stand unnaturally like giant dominoes, fifty feet apart. Boca is extremely cultivated. We go to Wal-Mart, we eat at P.F. Chang’s. 

We go to the beach. There is no salty sweet smell here (like the one at the beaches in Jersey).  Uncle (with whom we are staying) is unwell and has been for years. He repeatedly tries to get me to down alcoholic beverages and whenever my grandma isn’t around, talks about sex. He brushes my ass with his hand on the beach as we walk, and I ball my fists up in anger and walk faster. I don’t tell my Grandma because she is hesitant about staying here, and I want her to enjoy her time.

I fly back after two days, as was the plan. I am relieved to get back to the small, cold airport in Westchester, to see my little red Civic and rich, who drives it up to the pick up area. 

On my first night back, I realize how good it is to be home, and also how much it feels like home, more home than original home, my little family with rich and crowdog. I ask him to marry me and he says yes. The next day he buys a ring-pop and leaves it on my nightstand. 

February, March, April --

Back to School. I left in 2015, and am finally back. Spring Semester. I’m taking the Novel with Michelle Woods and Seminar in Critical Practices with Vicki Tromanhauser. I’m amazed how each class goes by so quickly -- I am always disappointed to hear that final tone-shift in the professor’s voice when she says that’s enough for today, we’ll pick up here next class. I read Anna Karenina, Crime and Punishment, The Master and Margarita, We, Lolita, The Waves by Virginia Woolf, The Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood, St. Mawr by D.H. Lawrence, a short story by Ursula Le Guin, and the eco-critical theories of Morton, Harraway, Derrida. 

I’d forgotten how much I loved reading and learning. I raise my hand in class and talk to other people. We go on a field trip to the Nature Sanctuary for my Seminar class and take a class photo. I save it to my computer when I realize it’s full of friends.

I write two papers that I’m extremely proud of, one about peasant dreams in Anna Karenina, and another about listening to Joanna Newsom’s Have One On Me as an eco-critical breakup album. 

May, June -- 

My first semester ends, and my sister graduates from high school. I’m definitely old. I take an online summer class on Utopia/Dystopia with Cyrus Mulready. 

July --

A trip to Long Beach Island, my place. rich and I stay crammed with my parents and my sister and her boyfriend in a two bedroom upstairs rental --the one that we used to stay at when I was little. We sleep on the pull-out couch, which was even less comfortable than that sounds. We stay for two nights. I eat oysters for the first time. My mom and I play kadima ball along the shore, and I eat a Spongebob Pop on a hot day, and his red pants drip down my hand. It’s a short trip, but enough. The year has been full but relentless, and here I have a few moments of actual content. 

On the way back home, my radiator blows on the Garden State Parkway. We pull over and call rich’s cousin, and then we macgyver the shit out of it so we don’t have to get towed home from Jersey. The GPS decides to almost take us through the city instead of the normal way home, so a three-hour trip turns into seven hours -- but it was nice. We stayed fairly calm and worked it out, and it made me appreciate the shit out of our relationship.

August -- 

The dog days of summer. Everything is wet. We’re in the process of moving houses (something that I’ve done every summer for the past six or so years). Dealing with the old landlords in the final weeks is absolute hell. But we end up getting all of our security back, and we’re moving to a good house --it belongs to the Grandmother of the kids I used to babysit when I was in high school/early college. 

We move in and I love the smell of the house. It’s a good place next to a stream. Everything is so wet that we start to notice mold on the furniture in the sunny room, and we fight it back. 

September -- 

This is a very hard month. In late August, I wait and wait and wait for my period. It keeps threatening with cramps, but never comes. I take a pregnancy test and it’s positive. I make the decision that would be best for another human, not for myself. I can’t just have a baby because I want something cute, or because it’s “possible” to do so. We’re not ready for a baby, now or even ever --I’ve always been theoretically conflicted on if I wanted to bring someone else into this whole Thing against their will. And now I have to confront that hypothetical in my reality. 

I make an appointment at planned parenthood after rich and I talk about it for a few days. It’s hard to get in, so I have to wait a few weeks. The house starts smelling awful. I get debilitatingly nauseous every time I go home. The smell of lavender dryer sheets (that I used to love) make me want to die. The world becomes a constant state of nausea. I get nose bleeds, I find out, because pregnancy changes SO MANY THINGS about how your body operates. Your body temperature goes up and your blood thins. Your teeth are more prone to infection and your body is circulating much more (like up to 50 percent more) blood. 

At the appointment, the nurse is extremely nice and takes my blood without making me feel lightheaded. I find out I’m eight weeks pregnant and that I’ll need to schedule a termination procedure for the next week. I’m nervous but I want to get it over with. The doctor takes an ultrasound and shows me a picture of the “fetus” - it’s a small, black and white oval dot. 

In the middle of September, I go to the Poughkeepsie planned parenthood to get the procedure. I decide not to take the sedation. I take four ibuprofen and they take me to the pre/post waiting room. I meet a woman who’s stocking up on granola bars, ginger ales and condoms,  shoving them into her purse. She tells me this is her sixth procedure. “Are you nervous?” she asks. I say “no.” 

It’s over quickly and it’s not more painful than some of the periods I’ve had. I get lightheaded afterwards and they keep me for an extra 20 minutes or so, but then I can walk out and go home. I tell rich to stop at mcDonald’s and we get burgers, and then I go home and sleep. 

The first two days after the procedure I feel amazing. I’m no longer nauseous and I don’t have cramps. On the third day, the cramps start and so does constipation. I have extremely painful anal spasms at work one day. The bleeding and cramping stops around 2 weeks after the procedure, but begins again when I start birth control. 

This all happens while my Fall Semester is starting, so there is no time to stop and rest and consider this whole thing. I keep going at the same pace because that’s what I have to do. 

October --

My Fall semester is really great despite all the stuff of the previous month. I’m taking my Senior Seminar class about the Materiality of the Text with Mulready, and I’m taking The Epic Tradition with Thomas Festa. I read the Iliad, the Odyssey, the Aeneid, and Dante’s Inferno, Frankenstein, Hamlet, and a ton scholars that focus on materiality: Ong, Calhoun, Silverman, Sherman, etc etc etc. I’m energetic but anxious.

We have a housewarming party and it’s not a disaster. It’s mostly family and then some friends afterwards, but we’re old and tired and clean and go to bed pretty early, and I’m okay with that.

November, December --

Extremely exhausting and busy two months. Throwing myself into school work, I write two more papers that I’m fairly proud of: one on the materiality of Dante’s Inferno and the other about the myth of diaries, explored by looking at a few weird Frankenstein diaries. 

Even New Year’s Eve was shot with a full day’s work followed by my first BioAnthropology exam (I’m taking a winter class), and I fell asleep at 10pm. Things will calm down in a few weeks hopefully (I’m done with classes after the 17th!!) and I can actually reflect on all the nonsense that happened this year. 

Things are pretty good though, and I’m thankful for a lot. I challenged myself this year and it paid the fuck off. I made some new friends and wrote some things I’m proud of and I live in a pretty nice house with my family. I finally stopped bleeding, and I’m doing okay physically now too. 

For Next Year:

- I want to bring my lunch to work at least twice a week! 

- I want to stretch and do some type of exercise (so I don’t get winded so easily)

- I want to save some money and take a good trip.

- I want to stop scrolling so much!

[beingulti]

7 members of Ring of Fire 2021:

Elijah Long:

Elijah Long is from Chapel Hill, NC. He/him, loves pancakes, days at the pool, and a good book/tv show. Boo ring.

https://mobile.twitter.com/ElijahLong5

Connor Russell:

Connor is from Westfield, NJ and has played for DEVYL, UNCW Seamen, Raleigh Flyers and Ring of Fire. He’s a golfer and avid Deez Comedian.

https://mobile.twitter.com/crussell052

Shane Sisco:

Hi my name is Shane Sisco and I’ve been playing for Ring for the last seven years. Other current teams include Flyers (AUDL) and Boneyard (Master’s). I’m 34 years young and live in Charlotte, but I grew up In Virginia Beach and attended East Carolina University where I played frisbee for the Irates while pursuing a bachelors/masters in geology. I’m currently rehabbing from ACL surgery after I tore it over the summer playing for Boneyard. Outside of frisbee, I work as a hydrogeologist working in the environmental consulting industry, where I predominantly help clients redevelop contaminated and/or blighted areas for safe public reuse. I also work as a part time whitewater rafting guide and whitewater SUP instructor in the summer at the U.S. National Whitewater Center. I have two dogs, Indy and Kelby, and they rule. I’ll probably mostly focus my day on rehab stuff, being the old dude on a super young and talented Ring team, the outdoors/environment (#OptOutside on Black Friday!), public lands, and of course, my dogs. Maybe even some content on newer addition to our fam, my nephew Odin! See ya on Friday.

https://mobile.twitter.com/shanesaw_

Eric Taylor:

Hi! I'm Eric Taylor (he/him), and I've been playing frisbee for 10 years now. I started playing my sophomore year of high school on St. Charles Mannschaft. After my Junior year of HS started playing on the YCC team Cincinnati Flying Pig, where I met (lost to) some folks who would go on to be some of my best friends. I went to Carleton College, and played 4 years on CUT, where we missed nationals in 2015 and then won in 2017. Interspersed within the college years I played with Minneapolis Sub Zero (we also missed Natties), Raleigh Ring of Fire, the 2018 U24 USA Men's Team, the Raleigh Flyers, the 2019 U24 USA Men's Team, and the 2020 WUGC Mixed Team (RIP).

I've done a spot of coaching as well, including two seasons coaching the HS team Chapel Hill Ultimate Frisbee, a lot of individual skills coaching (mostly on throwing), and I just started coaching NC State Alpha.

The other stuff I care about that isn't frisbee: Dungeons and Dragons, vaccine research, video games, backpacking, hypotheticals, being a flamin liberal.

https://mobile.twitter.com/franklinthebeas

Alex Davis:

AD's the name, speed is the game. It's actually Alex Davis, but speed is still the game. I'm 24 years old and I grew up in northern New Jersey until I finished high school. I then came down to North Carolina to go to the UNC-Chapel Hill, which is where I picked up ultimate. I got my bachelors in economics and a masters in accounting (boring). I played basketball and ran a lot of track in my middle school and high school days. I didn't even know what ultimate was until I got to college and had plans to try and continue running track, but my roommate pulled me out to Darkside practice I ended up making the team in the end and haven't looked back. I've really only played in NC except for a half club season with Garden state Ultimate (2017). I've also played for cash crop (2017), brick house (2018), and ring of fire (2019-current). Probably forgetting a lot of important bio things and I don't have a plan for what I'm gonna talk about. So please just bombard me with questions.

https://mobile.twitter.com/alexdavis112

Jack Williams:

Hickory NC.

UNCW

Ring of Fire

New York Empire

27 years old

No wallet no problems

Imposter

Sol Yanuck:

Hey hey, my name is Sol Yanuck, I'm from Chapel Hill, NC and I've been playing ultimate in the triangle since I was in middle school. I went to Carolina Friends School K-12 before going to Carleton College where I majored in Biology. After school I moved back to the triangle and worked in a couple different medical offices before starting med school at CUSOM this July. Ultimate has been a huge part of my life for about 10 years, and I've had incredibly rewarding experiences playing at the high school, college, and club/pro levels. I've also had the pleasure of coaching Triforce with Matt GH, Jon Nethercutt, and a bunch of other really special folks since 2016. I've played for CFS, Triforce, Carleton CUT, Cash Crop (sorry Allan), Ring of Fire, Raleigh Flyers, 2014 U20 WJUC and 2018 USA U24 men's team. Would love to nerd out about 2010s men's ultimate. Other things that interest me are hockey, fantasy hockey, my multiple 2020 fantasy hockey league championships, pokemon nuzlockes gens 3-5 (I will be genuinely excited if anyone wants to talk about this), and I guess medicine lmao.

https://mobile.twitter.com/solsucks2016

(November 22nd - November 28th)

[tabloidtoc]

Globe, December 28

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Farewell to 93 legends we loved and lost in 2020 

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Steve Martin holds a green pepper on the NYC set of Only Murders in the Building, Derek Hough is light on his feet at the MTV Movie & TV Awards 

Page 3: Julia Roberts looks scary skinny during a solo stroll in Hawaii, Chris Pratt hoists a hoverboard during an L.A. workout 

Page 4: Troubled twosome Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi are hoping to put their year from hell behind them by renewing their vows over the holidays in a desperate big to keep their love alive -- Ellen wants to prove her long-suffering wife comes first ahead of Ellen’s daytime talk show and her many celebrity friends and is going all out to show it -- penny-pincher Ellen opened her wallet as wide as her heart telling Portia she could spend whatever she wants on clothes, food, drinks, music and invite whoever she wants at the New Year’s vow ceremony on a Santa Barbara beach

Page 5: Obsessive Blake Shelton is so stressed over his upcoming wedding to Gwen Stefani he’s turning into the Groomzilla from hell -- he is sparing no expense and shelling out millions to redo his Oklahoma ranch to impress the couple’s Tinseltown friends but the mountain of stuff still to be done is driving him around the bend even though no one’s putting pressure on him but he’s obsessed with the wedding details and driving his staff crazy with his constant orders and revisions -- he’s building a chapel on the ranch and a lighted boat for a romantic wedding cruise on the lake and picking the style of the canopy for the banquet floor and re-landscaping the grounds and adding a color-themed garden

* Kenya Moore of Real Housewives of Atlanta reveals she went on a date with Kanye West but bolted when she caught him watching inappropriate flicks -- she described the outing with Kanye as a disaster date and they ended up going to his house where he left her alone, wandering around and when she followed the noises he was watching something on TV that he probably shouldn’t have been and that was her exit 

Page 6: Matthew Perry was such a slave to his addiction his former galpal Kayti Edwards says he’d send her to score drugs while she was pregnant and Matthew insisted she was the perfect drug mule because he believed cops wouldn’t stop a gal in her condition Kayti claims in a shocking tell-all about her 2011 romance with Matthew -- she says his ravenous cravings for cocaine and heroin were so out of control that he once superglued his hands to his legs and he took up to 80 Vicodin pills daily -- Kayti claims she was trying to protect Matthew because she feared he’d end up wandering around the streets and being nabbed by cops or snapped by photogs but she was also getting paid big bucks like $3000 to $4000 a day 

Page 7: Duchess Camilla’s taste for an early morning tipple has rubbed off on husband Prince Charles who is now so hooked on the sauce he starts the day guzzling a powerful gin martini with breakfast and now Charles’ alarmed staffers and pals are talking about an intervention to remind him not to go down the path that put his second wife in rehab -- Charles’ booze consumption has been off the charts for years but drinking first thing in the morning with his breakfast is a new low -- Charles laughs off suggestions he has a booze issue but one look at his bloodshot face tells the story 

* Now that a COVID-19 vaccine’s been approved in Britain Queen Elizabeth says she’s going to get the shot but wait her turn instead of pulling royal rank but she and husband Prince Philip won’t wait long because at their ages they’re in the second group to get the vaccine which is health care workers and people over 80 

Page 8: Helena Bonham Carter has a world-shakin’ suggestion for gals frustrated by the COVID-19 lockdown: get a vibrator -- she says women shouldn’t worry about snaring a beau during the pandemic but that’s easy for her to say because she’s currently cuddling with toyboy writer Rye Dag Holmboe 

* George Clooney confesses wife Amal Clooney had him shaking in his boots when he popped the question and she didn’t answer -- he asked her out of the blue but instead of squealing yes immediately the brainy lawyer just stood there -- George says he was on his knee for like 20 minutes and finally said he was going to throw his hip out -- Amal finally agreed and the couple have three-year-old twins 

* The nip/tuck freak daughter of Olivia Newton-John is being blasted as a hypocrite for coming out against the new COVID-19 vaccines -- Chloe Lattanzi claims she doesn’t trust doctors or the vaccine but critics note she had no problem shelling out an estimated $550,000 to plastic surgeons for nose jobs, super-sized boobs and ballooned lips 

Page 9: Since his life-threatening health scare game show icon Pat Sajak’s been testy and snapping at contestants and crew members leaving insiders fearing he’s heading for a breakdown -- the once-cheery Wheel of Fortune host is a different man since recovering from emergency surgery for a blocked intestine and is having difficulty coping with the workload -- he just can’t keep up with the pace and he’s pushed to the very limit and can’t seem to function doing this job and it’s all spilling over and manifesting into these ugly outbursts which are shocking viewers -- he even glares at long-time help-mate Vanna White when he gets frustrated or forgetful and she is really too nice to complain about it but she’s definitely been taken aback by his behavior 

Page 10: Proof UFOs are real -- new photos taken by Navy jets reveal we are not alone 

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- WWE legend Ric Flair (picture), Real Housewives of Orange County’s Braunwyn Windham-Burke maintains she’s not attracted to men despite renewing her wedding vows with her husband of over two decades -- she says she is gay but she loves husband Sean Burke and they plan on staying married although they don’t sleep in the same bedroom and they are raising their kids together but he knows the girl she’s dating and he’s been given the thumbs-up to date too, Liam Payne believes he’s being haunted by spooks -- convinced spooky spirits were inhabiting his West London digs Liam moved but spooks popped up at the new pad and he thinks the new house is even more haunted than the old one, George Clooney handpicked an even better looking doppelganger to play his younger self in his new flick The Midnight Sky who is screen legend Gregory Peck’s grandson Ethan Peck -- George said it was tricky because people know what he looked like when he was 35 years old but he rejected the high-tech gizmos used to weirdly reverse Robert De Niro’s age in The Irishman but he did mix his voice with Ethan’s since his voice is pretty recognizable, Matthew McConaughey’s kids Levi and Vida used their phones to photograph him for his latest magazine covers because of quarantine they couldn’t do normal photoshoots so the kids became the photographers 

Page 13: Tom Arnold dines out in Rome (picture), Aubrey O’Day (picture), Brooke Burke in Mexico (picture), pregnant Meghan Trainor was diagnosed with gestational diabetes and she’s healthy and her baby boy is healthy but she has to really pay attention to everything she eats 

Page 14: Luke Evans denies hiding in the closet to advance his Hollywood career saying it was the last thing he had because everything else he’d given to the world and adding that he left home at 16 because he was gay and went into the world as a kid because he had to, Mindy Kaling managed to keep two pregnancies under cover and kept the kids’ middle names under wraps until now -- a fan wondered why Mindy who is of a Indian heritage gave her kids Caucasian names but their names are Katherine Swati and Spencer Avu 

* Fashion Verdict -- Blanca Suarez 3/10, Olivia Palermo 1/10, Nicky Hilton 9/10, Bella Heathcote 2/10, Catt Sadler 8/10 

Page 16: True Crime 

Page 17: Martha Stewart confesses her painful divorce in 1990 was a terrible thing and she hasn’t talked to ex-husband Andrew Stewart since but she bounced back from the pain and her infamous prison stint because she’s very strong and motivated to get on with life -- still Martha admits being dumped by her husband for another woman after 29 years of marriage nearly did her in -- Martha also reveals serving five months in West Virginia in 2004 on a federal insider stock trading rap was a struggle but she got through it by working on her arts and crafts 

Page 19: 10 Things You Don’t Know About Don Lemon 

* Dolly Parton pulled no punches when discussing her longtime romance with Carl Dean dishing she and her husband have been together for 57 years and married for 54 and she’s sick of him and she’s sure he’s sick of her -- the couple have rarely been seen in public together and she says their marriage succeeds because she stays gone and they’re not in each other’s faces all the time 

* Miley Cyrus says she’s mastered the art of staying safe during lockdown love and it’s by having online sex -- she said the safest sex in these COVID-crazy times is the virtual kind and that’s where Miley has been hooking up

Page 21: Cover Story -- Thanks for the Memories -- tribute to the stars we loved and lost in 2020 

Page 22: Alex Trebek 

Page 23: Kobe Bryant and daughter Gianna, Kelly Preston 

Page 24: Kirk Douglas, Sean Connery 

Page 25: Olivia de Havilland, Chadwick Boseman 

Page 26: Robert Conrad, Naya Rivera 

Page 27: Regis Philbin 

Page 28: Kenny Rogers, Roy Horn 

Page 29: Eddie Van Halen, Little Richard 

Page 36: Health Report -- eating bread can toast your brain 

Page 38: Ghostbusters icon Dan Aykroyd has turned into a ghoulish recluse who rarely leaves his $25 million Martha’s Vineyard estate where he’s now eerily planning his own funeral -- the bizarre 68-year-old appears perfectly healthy yet he spooks around in his bed clothes muttering about who he wants to officiate at his memorial service and the goodies the chef should serve at the wake -- the curious thing is he appears to be in no danger of dropping dead anytime soon and he’s sturdy as a horse which is surprising given the cigars and the vodka and the big meals he enjoys -- Dan’s wife of 37 years Donna Dixon has gotten used to her husband’s ghoulish monologues

* Bob Dylan sold his extensive back catalog of more than 600 songs including Blowin’ in the Wind and Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door to Universal Music in a blockbuster deal topping $300 million 

Page 40: Patrick Stewart confesses he’s been furious all his life and he’s still seeing a shrink to control his rage -- he reveals he’s burned with rage inside since childhood when he witnessed his dad’s violence against his mom and he had to suppress all that anger -- at age 14 he feared he’d explode and kill his headmaster when he caned him and later he worried he’d hurt his two children with first wife Sheila Falconer in a fit of fury and now at age 80 it’s still there so he sees a therapist every week 

Page 44: Straight Talk -- The Weeknd has his nose out of joint because he wasn’t nominated for any Grammys this year and he claims he’s being snubbed because he’ll be starring on the February 7 Super Bowl halftime show a week after the Grammys 

Page 45: Jeffrey Epstein’s accused madam Ghislaine Maxwell is a paranoid mess losing her hair and wasting away in federal prison where she’s terrified shadowy forces have marked her for death -- the shrinking British socialite who denies recruiting and grooming underage girls for Epstein’s twisted lust is charged with sex trafficking minors as she rots in Brooklyn’s Metropolitan Detention Center awaiting trial next year 

Page 47: Bizarre But True 

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[tisfan]

Oooo 53. Poinsettia, 65. Kiss, and 74. Solstice for Bucky and Tony cause that sounds like an interesting combination. But my first choice is Poinsettia.

Co-written by @27dragons

A/N: This fic takes place in the Nights inSandbridge AU, a modern-day, nopowered setting where Bucky owns a beach diner in Virginia. This story takesplace about 2 months after Tony and Bucky get married, their second Christmastogether, about two weeks before they visit Atlanta for the first time.

Owning a restaurant came with a certain amount of situationalawareness; Bucky had learned over the years how to identify an emergency on thefloor from something mundane, like Clint breaking a bucket full of plates.

He wasn’t really paying attention – something had smashed, andWanda had cussed for a bit, but she’d been setting up an elaborate Christmasdisplay – and then someone was screaming, and that was a voice he didn’t recognize.Which meant it was a customer.

Bucky pushed back from his desk, ran his fingers through his hairto present his best I am in Charge Here look, and headed out to thefloor to see what the fuss was.

“Someone call 9-11!”

Christ. Bucky moved faster.

Wanda’s display was mostly intact; she and Tony had been buildingan elaborate Christmas tree shape using pots of varied colored poinsettias. Onepot had been tipped over, mulch and plant scattered on the floor and several ofthe leaves and flowers had been torn off and were scattered around the display.

“You don’t need to call an ambulance,” Wanda declared, her handson her hips.

The customer, who was squatted down, holding a child of preschoolage and indeterminate gender, squashed against her shoulder, glared. “Thoseflowers are deadly poisonous! You get me an ambulance right now!”

“I can call Poison control,” Bucky offered, taking the scene in. Tony,coming out of the back hall with a broom and bin, the customer hysterical,Wanda furious and defiant. Poison Control was one of the numbers programmedinto Dockside’s landline phone.

“I don’t need poison control! I need to get Abby to a hospital! She’sgoing to die, hundreds of kids die every year from eating poinsettialeaves! Why do you even have them in your diner? That’s just irresponsible,I am going to sue you back into the stone age!”

Bucky reached for the phone and punched in the emergency number.

“9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”

“Hey, this is James Barnes, at Dockside, Sandpiper Road,” Buckysaid. “I have a customer here with a potentially ill child.”

Tony was on his phone, too, poking at the screen. He held it outto show the woman. “Really, look. WebMD says they’re not poisonous.”

The woman made a scoffing sound. “You expect me to trust the Internet?”She said it with that tone that told Bucky she’d already made up her mind andthat nothing was going to convince her. He rather suspected even a doctorwasn’t going to ease her panic; but at least the doctor wasn’t Bucky’sproblem.

“The kid didn’t even eat the flower,” Wanda said, pulling theleaves in a pile. “She just yanked it off the table. My god, relax!”

Bucky winced. That… yeah, there went the mom, voice spiralinghigher in rage and frustration. The kid had squirmed free and was staring ather parent like it was the best movie ever, thumb firmly in her mouth.

“Customer’s child may or may not have eaten poinsettia plantmaterial,” Bucky reported to the emergency dispatcher.

“We get this sort of call a lot, sir,” the emergency dispatchertold him, “the plant’s not poisonous. They need to eat like five or six wholeleaves to even get an upset stomach.”

“Believe me, I know,” Bucky said, sighing. “Ma’am–” He tried toget the customer’s attention, but she was busy yelling at Wanda. “Ma’am, couldyou please speak to emergency services to give them your information? Ma’am–”

Tony physically pushed between the customer and Wanda. “Stopyelling at our staff,” he snapped. “They’re not. Poisonous. Look!” He snatchedup a handful of the leaves and shoved them into his own mouth, chewingfuriously. “Fweee?”

“Oh, my god,” Bucky said, faintly, staring at his husband. “Areyou even for real?”

“Sir?” The emergency dispatcher squawked.

“Just send the ambulance?” Bucky suggested. “I think the mom willfeel better.”

The dispatcher sighed. “You know there’s a fine for usingemergency services for non-emergencies. I can’t send an ambulance for anon-poisoning.”

Tony made a horrific face and bolted for a trashcan, spittinghalf-chewed leaves into it. “Oh my god that’s vile,” he complained.“It’s worse than arugula. Worse than kale. No way would any kidwillingly eat enough of it to get sick.”

“Yeah, okay, thanks,” Bucky said to the dispatcher, on automatic.“Wow, Tony, really?”

The customer was sobbing, her face red with frustration, andWanda, who had her fists balled up at her sides, looked like she was an inchfrom bursting into tears herself, looked up at Bucky. Do something, herface told him.

“Ma’am,” Bucky tried again. “Ma’am. Emergency services says thatthe plant’s not going to hurt your child, but if it makes you feel better tohave a doctor confirm, there’s an Urgent Care facility up in Oceana. You can’tmiss it, just go straight up th’ main road, and it’s on the left after you passinto town. Don’t worry about your meal, I’ll take care of it.”

The customer scooped up her child, who still looked vastly amusedfor a three- or four-year-old. She sniffed, didn’t bother to say thank you, andstormed out of the restaurant. There was a long, pregnant pause, before therest of the customers went back to their meals.

“Tony, you okay?” So, he knew that the plant wasn’t poisonous, butat the same time, Bucky had heard all those warnings, too. The persistence ofthe urban legend, he guessed.

Tony was still spitting into the trashcan, alternating with gulpsof water. “That was the nastiest thing I’ve ever tasted,” he complained.“Remind me not to do that again.”

“Don’t do that again,” Bucky said, earnestly, pulling his husbandin for a quick hug. He didn’t dare do more, with the floor still half occupied,but– “Jesus, you are too much… you might not be poisoned, but my heart almoststopped, you lunatic.” He turned to Wanda. “Are you okay? You need a break, fora bit?” Wanda was not good about being yelled at; she took it personally.

“She’s going to take her poor kid to the hospital for nothing,”Wanda said, staring at the door. “I don’t… it’s not poisonous. Poison Controlissues a statement about it every year. I’m… I’m a master gardener! Iknow what plants are poisonous! I wouldn’t put up a display that might hurtsomeone, is she insane?”

“Probably,” Tony put in, wiping his mouth and taking another longswig of water.

“You can’t force people to be smart,” Bucky said.

“She’s gonna bring a lawsuit against us,” Wanda said.

Bucky nodded. “Probably,” he said. “It’ll be okay. We’ll take careof it. You don’t have to be involved.” He sighed. “We’ll give Jenn a heads up,in case something comes of it. It’s okay, Wanda.” He was gently nudging herback to the kitchen, where she could have her breakdown in peace, away from thecustomer’s eyes. He could tell, the way her shoulders were shaking, that shewas very close to hysterics.

“Steve, can you get Wanda some tea?” He made a note to himself toadd a little extra something to Wanda’s Christmas package. “When you’re feelingbetter, go ahead and finish up the decorating?”

Wanda’s mouth thinned. “Yeah,” she said. “It’ll be the best poinsettiatree in the whole city!”

Out of sight of customers, Bucky drew his husband in, wantingreassurance, because damn, Tony had actually scared the hell out of him, andkissed him.

Then Bucky licked his lip; the bitter, desperately bitter,taste was still lingering on Tony’s mouth. “Oh, my God,” Bucky said,grimacing. “That’s like… radishichino. On steroids. Holy hell, why would anyoneactually… disgusting!”

“That’s what I’ve been saying!” Tony said. He slumped againstBucky’s side. “I’m going to brush my teeth with a whole tube of toothpaste.”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, you… uh, you do that, baby. I’ve got yourspot on the floor for twenty minutes, you take a break.” Bucky reached for hisapron. Crazy panicked mother or not, they had customers to feed. He lookedback, just to make sure Tony wasn’t going to drop over dead from beingpoisoned, then headed out on the floor. Maybe they’d luck out and nothing elsewould happen. At least for the day.

Notes:

https://www.webmd.com/children/features/is-poinsettia-really-poisonous

http://www.mathbits.com/Poinsettia2G.gif

Master Gardener: http://blogs.lt.vt.edu/mastergardener/ An educational/volunteer certification for persons who have attended 50 hours of classes specifically for knowledge-based plant care. Essentially, Wanda has an associate’s degree in horticulture.

[garagedoorsblogs]

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Original Source of Blog: What Ultimate Advantages Does Garage Door Maintenance Offer? (stargategarage.com)

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