#Villainous Weekend

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

we need more hero/arch-nemesis duos whose backstory is being bitterly, bitterly divorced

[waymond-wang]

I was a 1995 International Players Ball "Pimp of the Year." Show me some motherfucking respect!

JAMIE FOXX as SLICK CHARLES in THEY CLONED TYRONE (2023) dir. Juel Taylor

[sunderwight]

If Tianxi were T4T they'd both have survived.

Especially if the Old Palace Master didn't know about it (and why would he? I don't think Su Xiyan would tell him and TLJ definitely wouldn't). Somehow word gets around that the demon realms are celebrating because Tianlang Jun is going to have a child. OPM, already aware that Su Xiyan has shacked up with him (and furious about it), takes this to mean that Xiyan is pregnant and does his usual thing of locking her up and forcing an abortive on her while plotting to ambush and trap TLJ.

Except of course, Su Xiyan isn't pregnant enough for the abortive to do more than make her somewhat ill, and Tianlang Jun is too busy giving birth to fall for an ambush. Su Xiyan escapes, Tianlang Jun safely delivers Binghe, and they all ride off into the sunset with Zhuzhi Lang and threats of declaring open war if the other sects ally with Huan Hua Palace to try and make any kind of move against them again.

The old palace master never does figure out why his plan didn't work.

[skitskatdacat63]

CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THIS OUTFIT AND HAIR COMBO!?!?

[vebokki]

do NOT show kindness to the isolated werewolf in the village! you'll suffer terrible consequences (everlasting devotion and clinginess)

[tmntseparatedaucompetition]

Gemini/Separated Leo/Tentative Devotee/Villain PB&J Duo vs Empyrean Weeping/Bloodbath/Life Mission

Gemini AU- @tangledinink

Separated Leo AU -@separatedleoau

Tentative Devotee - @s0fti3w1tch

Villain PB&J Duo AU - @onionninjasstuff

Empyrean Weeping - @cupcakeslushie

Bloodbath AU - @bloodbath-au

Life Mission: Save My Brothers - @daedelweiss

[raineandsky]

#109

When the doorbell rings, the hero’s kind of hoping it’s the pizza delivery guy.

They open the door to find, tragically, not the pizza delivery guy.

“Uh,” the villain says, “hi.”

The hero isn’t entirely sure what sequence of words would best fit this scenario. “Hi?” is the best they can do.

The villain shuffles on their feet awkwardly. A pause hangs between them, filled by the distant roar of the city beyond. “I thought you’d ask why I’m here,” they say eventually.

“I’m more concerned about how you’re here.”

A smile threatens the corners of the villain’s mouth. “We know where all you heroes live.” The smile fades into nothing again. “Or just I know, now, I guess.”

“Okay.” The hero squints at the villain uncertainly. “I’ll entertain you. Why the hell are you standing outside my door?”

“No one wants to be a villain anymore. Everyone quit.” The villain’s face contorts into some unreadable expression. “It’s just me.”

That doesn’t sound right. From the villain’s slight grimace, they know it too. “Everyone… quit villainy,” the hero repeats.

“There’s nothing to gain from it anymore. We had a vote and I was the only one who wanted to keep going.” The villain’s gaze dips to their hands as if they hold answers. “They left me everything, but… I can’t do it all on my own. So I’m turning myself in.”

The hero stares at the villain for a long moment. “Even [Supervillain].”

“Especially [Supervillain].”

The hero steps aside with a sigh. The villain looks like they’re being invited into a pit of wolves. “You want me to come into your house?”

“My handcuffs are in my living room cabinet and I don’t trust you standing out there. It’s cold, anyway.”

The villain closes the door behind them in an uncharacteristic show of politeness as the hero digs through their drawers. They’re wiping their shoes on the mat when the hero gets back, cuffs in hand.

The villain holds their hands out and the hero clicks the cuffs around their wrists. It’s almost too easy. The question is sitting on the tip of their tongue.

“What’s the catch?”

The villain doesn’t seem surprised by the question. They shrug halfheartedly. “Dunno.” They glance about for inspiration. “All the others have gone into hiding, I guess. You have me, but everyone else will probably evade you for the rest of time.”

“Much like they already do.” The hero manoeuvres them to the sofa in the living room, giving them a nudge to make them actually sit down. “You make it sound like you’ve been left in charge of the entire criminal organisation.”

The barking laugh the villain lets out is entirely fake. Too sharp, too short. “I have.”

“So villany will collapse without you.”

The villain shrugs again, the motion laden with effort. “Not like anyone else was willing to carry that burden—and I’m not either, hence why I’m, y’know…” They gesture vaguely at themself, in cuffs, in the hero’s living room.

The villain goes, villainy is defeated. No more villains, no more big crimes, no more heroes. Everything the agency has worked to be would collapse. The hero would be out of a job. It'd be over.

Yet here the villain is, giving everything up, taking the entirety of villainy down with them. The sole survivor of a shipwreck and wishing they’d gone down with the ship. A ship they don’t seem to realise the hero is on too.

The doorbell rings again, and the hero leaves the villain carefully settling on the sofa to answer it. They return with a giant grin on their face and a giant pizza box in their hands.

“Let’s worry about all this afterwards,” the hero says brightly. They brandish the box at the villain in the hopes of tempting them. “Want some?”

The tempting works; the villain reaches for a slice. “What a last meal.”

The hero sets the box on the coffee table as they flop back on the sofa. “I don’t know, [Villain],” they say with a smile, “I don’t think it has to be.”

[nighty-amy]

I want a boss like him

[19silvermirrors]

Qijiu's lilac garden has grown lush for YQY Weekend💜💜

[i-dare-say]

When life has me down, I know that random ao3 comment will save me

[meep-meep-richie]

So I’m on my way to London to see Jason Isaacs perform and i’m so freaking hyped

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

there's just... there is no reason to make yet another cop show in this day and age. copaganda is not only bullshit, it is a failure of imagination.

you want to watch brooding characters with dark pasts investigate crimes in an official capacity? just use private detectives (cops have a miserable solve rate anyway). want eccentric geniuses & their sidekicks solving mysteries? i present you with armchair detectives & neighborhood busybodies. oh, you're craving a workplace comedy-drama starring overworked protagonists doing their heartfelt best to resolve community conflicts? social worker office sitcom! bitch this is ACHIEVABLE

[naixaie]

“A-Luo!!” ✨

[duchess-of-dilemma]

I’m scared to get therapy because what if I’m talking to the next harley quinn

[jorbridgerton1]

I saw another post that people should stop bulling Lando because max is the bad big wolf .... Dude I need to log off I can't anymore this people are really blind. Max is bully every race week! People booing him in the podium throwing him every curse in the world and now you crying because we are calling that whiney brat for what he says in the interview??! Like dude be for real I understand the pressure they are under and that he's upset at the moment but when you have the "villain of f1" being an adult and being mature and then you have the driver of the day the people princess crying and being a bitch you have to revaluate the what you saying. I get it you want to defend your fav but saying that Lando do nothing wrong and saying that he's Innocent in all of this and treating him like a little baby is not it

[2hoothoots]

It sounds like the Raz in your Villains AU would be more emotionally stunted than the proper FSAU Raz. I can imagine the Performer and Lover archetypes either didn't form to balance out the Agent archetype, or we have a Cassie situation. Maybe the Agent archetype usurped them and Raz ate his feelings.

It's not that I can't. I just find it more prudent to focus my energy elsewhere.

v!au Raz doesn't have any archetypes. he never really saw the need to develop any. what's a guy like him need a little doodle friend for? he's already a walking one-dimensional paper cutout